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yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy · 7 days

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A deep dive into Zevlor's devotion (Part 3) Zevlor's actions during Act 1, an analysis of a man who is barely holding on:

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR BG3.

These series of posts were originally one loooooong post— but apparently Tumblr has a character limit, and I found it; so now it's been split into several parts/posts.

(Part 1) Everybody hates tieflings, and how discrimination impacted a young Zevlor.

(Part 2) Elturel's history and culture, the Hellriders, and Zevlor's paladin oath. (Part 2.5)

((Part 3, this post, is where the meat a good chunk of my Zevlor analysis is.))

(Part 4) Zevlor's actions during Act 2, an analysis of a broken man.

(Part 5) Zevlor's actions during Act 3, an analysis of a man with his faith restored.

(Part 6) Zevlor's actions during/ after the epilogue, not all endings are happily ever after— especially not for a tiefling.

(Part 7) Zevlor in a romantic relationship.

I don't think many bg3 players understand just how dedicated and loyal of a person Zevlor is. This ADHD hyper-fixation fueled multipart-thesis is meant to show how Zevlor's past is as tragic as any of the origin characters'/ Durge's. It's meant to show how horrifically broken Zevlor was when he "betrayed" the other tieflings. It's also meant to show that our beloved blorbo would probably be fervently obsessive if he was in a romantic relationship.

Most importantly: It demonstrates how our favorite man Zevlor was most likely a fanatical religious zealot my dudes. He was (probably) a part of the Faerûn equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition lite.

I have kept this as factual as I am able to. Please keep in mind that Baldur's Gate 3 plays it fast and loose with the DND/ Forgotten Realms canon and lore, on top of DND/ the Forgotten Realms itself regularly disregarding and changing it's own lore and canon. DND lore and canon as a whole is a mess. It has multiple universes that sometimes interact and are maybe separate from each other. Full disclosure; I've mixed 1e-5e lore together FUCK 5.5e, because parsing through what is currently considered canon is a nightmare. As far as I'm concerned, as long as a piece of lore was canon at some point in the past 50 years— it's fair game. @y-rhywbeth2 in this post has a more in depth disclaimer. Also please check out their headcanons and lore breakdowns, they're so good.

THIS PROJECT TOOK ME OVER A MONTH TO WRITE. I've tried to find all grammatical and spelling errors. I've tried to ensure that I've cited the correct sources in the correct places.

Before reading this way to long post please look at itsclydebitches analysis on Zevlor. [Alt] Which provided me with so much insight to his character and kickstarted my obsession with him. Also, @itsclydebitches puts ideas into words better than I do.

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● (Part 1) Zevlor before the events of BG3:

Here is what we know, for sure, about Zevlor:

Zevlor is a tiefling.

Zevlor achieved the rank of commander in the Hellriders.

He survived the city's fall into the Hells.

He was a paladin.

He does not have Darkvision.

Finally, here are the headcanons I have cobbled together based on the available albeit often times conflicting information I have gathered: (Hard facts are in green, everything else is speculation on my part.)

The youngest I would put Zevlor at is his mid 50's. The oldest I would put him at is his late 60's.

So this means that he was approximately 5-15 years old during the vampire crisis. Mentally, these are very formative years for a person. It really isn't a stretch of the imagination to assume that this, along with the miraculous appearance of the companion, set young Zevlor on the path to becoming a paladin and a Hellrider.

There aren't many elderly Hellriders around because most die in the line of duty. To have survived into his old age is a testament to Zevlor's skill, dedication, and luck divine favor.

(AN: In Zevlor's Sleep Stories, "a non-profit project created for and run by fans of Baldur's Gate 3 and its characters.", in episode # 8 - Oathsworn Glenn McCready, the official VA of Zevlor, (I only point out that the stories are narrated by the official VA because I think it's really cool that he and the fans have collaborated on the project. It is not meant to imply that him narrating the project means he has any opinions on how Zevlor is depicted in them, nor is it meant to lend any weight to the Sleep Stories being regarded as canon. Please check it out, it's an amazing project.) narrated a story in which Zevlor was stated to be 10 years old when the Companion first appeared— making Zevlor ~60 during the events of BG3. Zevlor's Sleep Stories is NOT canon, but I'm going to view this one story as canon in my heart; unless/ until Larian releases content/ info that contradicts it.)

This post [alt] by @nightmarist and @space-blue with contributions from @haru-sen is a wonderful source for some history of Elturel, how the Hellriders and Zariel are connected, how paladin's and their oaths work, and an analysis of how being exiled from Elturel changed/ impacted Zevlor's oath.

Zevlor would have had to devote himself 3x more than a non-tiefling Hellrider would've:

Hellriders were held to a high moral standard in a city that already had strict moral codes of conduct.

The Order of the Companion members took the Hellriders dedication a step further by swearing an oath to the city on a god.

Zevlor would have been under intense scrutiny for the crime of being a tiefling. For him to have made the rank of Commander despite this means that he proved, beyond a shadow of a shadow of a doubt, that he was devoted to protecting Elturel.

For added angst I like to headcanon that he had only achieved the rank of Commander a few tendays before Elturel fell into the Hells. And that it took so long for Zevlor to achieve the rank of Commander because he was rejected for promotions in favor of someone who wasn't a tiefling, even if they were less suited for the job than Zevlor was. And that if he wasn't a tiefling then he would've become a commander many years earlier.

Which means that for the entirety of his adult life Zevlor wholly devoted himself to being a Hellrider. He had to forsake everything else, being a Hellrider was his life's purpose.

That level of dedication cannot be faked or forced. He truly believed in being a Hellrider and what the Hellriders stood for/ represented.

And he was thanked for his years of unyielding service by being

● (Part 2) Banished from Elturel:

Zevlor's years of service, his countless sacrifices, and unwavering dedication to the protection of the city and its inhabitants meant nothing to the people of Elturel after the city was returned from the hells. Tieflings looked like the devils that had tormented them in hell (nevermind that the tieflings were also subject to the abuse from devils) and as such they were blamed for the city's Decent into Avernus.

"Many if not all the city's tieflings were exiled from the city, thanks to a new wave of misplaced fear and newly-formed prejudice."

This hatred from the people he loved so dearly didn't lead to Zevlor breaking his oath, it shattered Zevlor's very faith itself. (FFS, I can't find a clip of the Narrator describing Zevlor's time in/ just after Avernus when you click on him when he's in the mindflayer pod in Act 2. Please just trust me on this one.)

Zevlor didn't break his oath, it was broken for him. Hellriders swear to "Serve the realm of Elturgard, and defend the city of Elturel body and soul.", and he was forced to abandon the city.

Earlier in this series I had mentioned how exiled Hellriders were stripped of their gear before being cast out of the city. Zevlor, and the other tiefling Hellriders at the end of the game, still have some of their Hellrider gear. [alt] This makes me think that the other Hellriders refused to completely strip their tiefling family members of their gear because they did not agree with the city's bigoted decision. Letting them keep their gear would have been a subtle hint (and resistance to the city's authority) that the other Hellriders still considered their tiefling comrades as fellow Hellriders.

Whether the exiled tiefling Hellriders were still considered members of the Hellriders by the remaining Hellriders or not, Zevlor was now a

● (Part 3) Refugee:

But Zevlor still had a purpose, he and his fellow banished tiefling Hellriders swore to defend the civilian refugees on their journey to Baldur's Gate.

Tilses, and I assume the other Hellriders, still referred to Zevlor as Commander, and still considered him a Hellrider. She believed that no one could revoke their membership to the Hellriders, but Zevlor did. "They can [take away our Hellrider membership], and did. Avernus changed things — best we get used to that." - Zevlor

They were attacked multiple times on the road, and they had many casualties, and so Zevlor carried on as he always had— as a paladin sworn to protect his people. The refugees and the other, younger, Hellriders needed him to be a strong leader with unwavering faith, so that's what he was— but it was all an act. An act that got harder and harder to keep up as the days wore on and the rations, and survivors, dwindled.

But then they stumbled upon a possible salvation,

● (Part 4) The Emerald Grove:

They were welcomed in with open arms by the Archdruid Halsin. For the first time in who knows how long the refugees could rest. Sure, most of the other druids seem to barely tolerate the tieflings— but the Archdruid had made his position on their continued sanctuary within the grove clear.

And then the Archdruid Halsin went off with a set of very inexperienced and racist adventures, leaving a woman who could barely hide her contempt for the refugees as temporary Archdruid. Which should have only been for a few days at most, Zevlor knew he could play nice long enough to placate Kagha until Halsin returned, it was fine.

But Halsin didn't return, because he'd been kidnapped. And worse, Zevlor find this out because those inept adventures brought a pack of goblins right to the gate of the Grove.

I think the goblin attack was when Zevlor truly began to crumble. He would've been overwrought with guilt and self-doubt. Had he not spent ~20 seconds berating and interrogating Aradin over leading goblins straight to the Grove, and instead used that time to open the gate, then Kanon's death could've been avoided.

Worse still is that he ordered a man who wasn't wearing any armor to open the gate. Zevlor blames himself for Kanon's death, and he would mentally self-flagellate himself over his own cowardice: How he, a Commander in the Hellriders, took cover while Kanon, a tailor by trade, bravely continued opening the gate while the goblins were firing arrows at him.

After a hard-fought battle, the goblins are defeated. Then Aradin swaggers in acting as though he didn't just do a profoundly stupid thing by leading the goblins straight to defenseless citizens. Not only that, the uppity shithead Aradin blames Halsin for getting himself kidnapped. And then Aradin strikes a nerve, calling Zevlor a coward (and a slur). I think that Zevlor is already contending with his own guilt from thinking that he himself acted cowardly. For Aradin to call him a coward, on top of all the other stupid shit he's been spouting off, is too much to bear, and Zevlor's rage/ self-loathing is about to erupt into violence.

Luckily, the group of actually competent adventures who arrived and saved the day also managed to diffuse the tension between Zevlor and Aradin.

Or not. Leading to Zevlor punching the overtly racist idiot.

Punching Aradin (acting on his inherent desire for violence*, specifically) is something that I believe is wildly out of character for Zevlor. Aradin isn't the first mouthy prick he's come across, and if Zevlor had responded with violence to all of them then he wouldn't have been able to become a Commander. The stress Zevlor's been under has finally boiled over, and now that he no longer considers himself a Hellrider (and is constantly in survival mode trying to keep himself and the other tieflings alive), keeping a tight lid on his anger isn't something he really cares about anymore.

*"Tieflings also had access to an ability known as infernal wrath, which channeled their innate rage and potential for evil into their attacks for added effectiveness."

I cannot emphasize enough how much self discipline and restraint Zevlor has. His infernal heritage in combination with the overt discrimination he has undoubtedly faced his entire life, plus a healthy dose of pride, are a vicious cocktail of honestly justified anger issues. (AN: Based on him having more physical infernal features than the other tieflings do [alt] I headcanon that he possesses a temper closer resembling a devil's than the less infernal-looking tieflings do.)

Zevlor has been unchained. When it becomes clear that diplomacy won't work Zevlor tells the player that Kagha is their main obstacle, and that without her influence the other druids may see sense. The way he phrases this sentence allows Tav to "read between the lines" and see that Zevlor is open to killing Kagha, while also giving himself plausible deniability. Zevlor didn't suggest murdering Kagha, Tav did. Zevlor is "still hoping that Kagha can be swayed from this madness.", but if not... well, surely Tav understands how "Leaders need to make tough decisions. We do what we must."

Notice how slyly he phrased that— "we", subtly putting himself and Tav in the same category/ on the same team. But most importantly he never outright says to Tav "I want you to kill Kagha", it's implied. His 17 charisma and years of politicking around racism and red tape really shows here; because if shit goes south and Tav fails in their assassination attempt then, even if he has ingested a truth serum, Zevlor can honestly tell the druids that he never asked Tav to kill Kagha. If Tav doesn't suggest killing Kagha then Zevlor doesn't bring it up, and instead asks Tav to take out the goblin camp leaders.

(I am only citing this one dialogue tree option. There are more dialogue tree options, but I can't find videos of them and I am currently unable to play BG3 to explore the different options myself.)

Zevlor is proficient in using manipulation tactics and his knowledge of psychology to garner his preferred outcome. To be clear— I don't think he would have acted in such an underhanded way before being exiled, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I do think that pre-descent Zevlor was no stranger to using manipulation/ his psychological insight to achieve his goals, he would've had to because of the prejudice he faced, but it would've been used for more benign reasons (such as being treated with basic respect instead of open contempt).

(AN: Manipulation in and of itself isn't inherently bad, we all use manipulation to some extent in our day to day lives. So long as they are not abused little white lies and benign manipulations, along with having/ using tact, allow society to smoothly function. Like how saying "Please get me a glass of water." is perceived more favorably, and is more likely to convince a person to get you a glass of water, than "Get me a glass of water." Saying please is considered polite, and people are much more likely to acquiesce to a request if someone is polite. 'You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.' Or how you might wait until after someone has eaten to ask them for something, because they're more likely to agree to your request when they're not hangry.)

Zevlor was once a very proud man, and he had every right to be— becoming a Commander in the Hellriders is a remarkable achievement. Becoming a Commander in the Hellriders in the face of profound discrimination? Nothing short of a triumph. The Zevlor we meet at the Grove is a shadow of the man he used to be. The fall into Avernus and everything that happened after it has sucked most of the life out of him.

We still catch glimpses of the proud Hellrider Commander with the power of god and anime on his side that Zevlor once was. This post [alt] by @dimmadoome demonstrates not only Zevlor's pride, but his infernal temper and possessiveness (which I will cover in a different post). Listen to his speech here. This is a man who has lead his fellow warriors into battle. A man who fought for what he believed in and refused to give up even in the face of insurmountable danger. You can see the hell fire in his eyes blazing bright with righteous fury.

And then there's the speech he gives after defeating Minthara. Note his emphasis on the tieflings being not just survivors, but family. When he says 'family' he has a proud, gentle smile. (His high charisma and experience with giving rousing speeches may be the only reason why his mien changes during this part of his speech, but I think he's being sincere.) If you start that video from the beginning you can see him take a moment to collect himself because he's exhausted, but he knows his people need him to be a strong unflappable leader.

(Did you catch how he quickly pivots from hauteur "Tymora smile on me." to deference "We did it. You did it."? Manipulate, mansplain, malewife the hell out of them Zevlor.)

This portion of the video highlights Zevlor's loyalty to his comrades in arms. He calls Tav family— remember, Hellriders are extremely loyal to one another (and tieflings are very loyal to those who prove themselves trustworthy), this is how he behaved towards all his fellow Hellriders before he has cast out of Elturel. His faith is still broken, but Tav/Durge/Origin has reignited a glimmer of hope in him.

I think this is the only time I've ever seen this poor man actually relax and smile. But then he immediately goes back to looking pensive and walled off. I may be delulu and reading too far into things, but I don't think this is merely his character model returning to its default— I think it demonstrates exactly how Zevlor has been living for years: Silently admonishing himself for letting his guard down and his control slip. Desperately wanting to let go and forget himself and his propriety for a while but being unwilling, possibly unable, to do so.

That being said he does somewhat relax at

● (Part 5) The Tiefling Party:

There isn't a lot to say here. Zevlor isn't imbibing (much) to ensure that he keeps his wits about him— both so that he can supervise the people who are partying, and keep watch for potential threats. Even though he's not partying, Zevlor is elated to see the tiefling refugees smiling and relaxing. He knows that the journey ahead of them is fraught with danger/ trials and tribulations. He even looks the other way when his people spike the punch to make purple drank.

In Early Access to thank Tav for saving them Zevlor made a (bugged) light show where every light in it represented a life that Tav and Co. had saved. The party is the last time Zevlor is happy and hopeful before everything falls apart, as we will see in the next installation of this series: (Part 4) Zevlor's actions during Act 2, an analysis of a broken man.

Here's a link to the master list for this series.

Thanks for reading!

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ghouly-boiiiii · 2 months

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Hey, y'all! Sorry I haven't been around much this month. I've been dealing with some personal stuff, but I'm working on the last chapter of My Name Is Cooper and it should be ready to post soon!

On another note, I've been watching a lot of Fallout lore videos lately and it's been really fascinating! (Spoilers for Fallout 1, New Vegas and the show ahead!) Even though I've been playing the games for years, there's a lot I didn't know. Like the story of The Master / Richard Grey in Fallout 1. First off, what a design! He's gotta be one of the most grotesque and horrifying character designs and concepts in any video game I've seen. And all the different voices. It's chilling! I didn't know the original Fallout game was so disturbing. And I love it! Also, I've just always loved the look of these old games. I used to love Baldur's Gate 2, which Interplay also worked on (or rather a division of it), so it's kinda nostalgic looking at the old Fallout graphics, which are very similar. Very cool! I might have to give it a playthrough some day!

Second, I found it interesting how the show kind of takes things from the games and mirrors them. Like it's not the same characters or circumstances, but the themes remain the same. For example, in the show, Vault-Tec's solution to end war is to eliminate everyone else so that they are the only faction left. Which is exactly what The Master tried to do as well, but with super mutants. I think it's pretty cool how they went full circle, using this recurring theme, (because they aren't the only two factions with this philosophy either in the lore) pulling that idea from the very first game and working it into the show as one of Vault-Tec's primary motivations.

I also found out that Bethesda brought back many of the original creators for New Vegas, so it makes a lot of sense why people say it's the best Fallout! I'm currently playing through New Vegas on my YouTube channel. (I have one full video and a bunch of shorts, but I took a break because, well, I became a little Ghoul obsessed, hehe. But now that I'm almost done with my first fic, I'm gonna start doing more videos again!) So come check it out if you want! I kinda spoiled some things for myself when it comes to Mr. House, but it's also made me want to play the game even more! Also, with the second season apparently taking place in New Vegas, it's basically a necessity at this point!

And! I have also discovered yet more instances of Ghoul / Human relationships in the Fallout universe. If I remember correctly (I can't remember the specific video now, and it would take forever to go back and find it, so bear with me lol) there's a female ghoul prostitute your character can sleep with in New Vegas. And also a ghoul named Gob in Fallout 3 (whom I vaguely remember from way back when I played it, but forgot his story) who appears to be in a secret relationship with a woman he works with, who is also a prostitute (but not a ghoul lol).

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO yes, Ghoulcy is absolutely %100 on brand for Fallout. People be fuckin' ghouls all over the place. So if Fallout's gonna have a romance of any kind, it's gonna be with the hot ghoul character and his narrative foil, y'all. Yup. That's just how it is. It's canon peeps, case closed!

#SO TO ALL THE ANTI'S #AND ANYONE WHO'S STILL A NON-BELIEVER #HEAR ME AND REPENT!#THE TRUTH IS AS PLAIN AS THE NOSE ON COOPERS... wait...#cooper howard #fallout #the ghoul #lucy maclean #ghoulcy #vaultghoul #fallout prime #my posts #ghouly-boi #fallout lore #ghoul fuckers

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yunalinwrites · 7 months

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saved by the bell (chapter 1) | fushiguro toji x reader

series masterlist | next

available on wattpad

summary: fushiguro toji never makes first moves--until he happens to meet the teacher of the son he hasn't seen in years.

strangers -> fwb -> lovers

takes place in 2006 around the star plasma vessel/hidden inventory/premature death arc; megumi is a first grader

about reader: female, around 30 or older, teacher, has a soft spot for megumi, speaks kind of formally, has daddy issues + abandonment issues

warnings: eventual smut, cursing, alcohol, smoking, daddy issues, abandonment issues, mention of child abuse/trauma, toji is initially kind of an ass, spoilers for the season 2 arc mentioned above

He'd only just stepped out of the FamilyMart, been on the street for all of two seconds before he heard the call of his name.

"Fushiguro?"

It was tempting, given the desperation in the repeated shouts, but he didn't bother looking towards their source. It's not like he really recognized the voice, and he sure as hell wouldn't recognize her face; he made it a point to never look them in the eye.

"Fushiguro?"

It was starting to become irritating, though. It was nasal, kind of sounded like the one from last week... No, a broad like that would know better; she played the same games he did. So, maybe the one from last night? Yeah... Didn't seem like she knew how to keep her strings to herself.

"Fushiguro!"

Well, whoever it was, she was only getting closer. The calls were getting louder, and so was the splash of her heels against the wet concrete. Realizing this, he shut his eyes and drew a deep breath through his nose, letting the rain run down his dark hair, over the scar on his lip, and into his mouth as he opened it and whipped his head around in annoyance.

"Thought I told you not to--"

"Sorry, excuse me!"

You shoved past him, catching his widened eyes with yours for but a moment before continuing to run frantically and nearly slipping when you came to a halt and crouched down.

"Fushiguro!" you exclaimed, adjusting your umbrella to accommodate the little boy. "There you are. I told you not to run off like that!"

The boy kept a fixed gaze ahead of him, only interrupting it to wipe his eyes as the rain dripped into them, his usually spiky black bedhead weighed down completely against his face.

"Where on earth did you go?" you asked, examining him for clues.

"There's a monster," he replied plainly.

Finding nothing of note, you checked your watch with one hand and used the other to hastily grab his, barely registering his claim.

"Well, there certainly aren't any monsters on the bus. Not to mention, it's warm and dry. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Your phone vibrated in your coat pocket with a wave of texts--the faculty group chat, you figured--as you moved to obstruct his view with a smile. "Your classmates are wondering where you went."

Still unfazed, he tugged on your blouse and pointed. "Can't you see it?"

You didn't really have time to humor him--the incessant pings now replaced by your melodic ringtone--but still, your eyes followed the end of his little pointer finger, looking hard for a monster but finding only a man.

You scanned the sight as much as the umbrella would let you, the spokes ending just below his eyes. There wasn't any "big purple worm" that you could see, like the boy was mumbling on about, but you weren't really listening; what you were looking at at the moment didn't make you feel much safer--a bulky, brick wall-like frame hidden behind a black T-shirt and gray sweats, a fist clenched tightly around the handle of a milk jug, and, most notably, a rugged scar running perpendicular to scowling lips.

Quickly, you pushed the boy's hand down, not even thinking to correct his rude gesture as your voice darkened, "Come on, we need to go."

You stood up from your crouch, pulling the boy along with urgency and speeding up as you passed the stranger, the umbrella angled so it sheltered the boy and covered your face.

The man watched you walk away, staring at your polka-dotted umbrella, trying to burn holes into it, but to no avail; you simply disappeared into the crowd of the street without so much as a glance back. When he was sure you were gone for good, all he could do was look down at his clenched fist. All he could do was look at the milk jug it held, and think about what just happened, how comical it was.

He'd only just stepped out of the FamilyMart, been on the street for all of two seconds before he heard the call of his name--his son's name--for the first time in three years.

***

There were very few things as draining as manning a four-class field trip of seven-year olds, but the walk you found yourself on the following weekend was proving to be up there.

It could've been a word problem: "If there were 6 couples on every block and 2 blocks to the bar, how many sickeningly sweet smiles did Miss L/N see on her way?" Or, alternatively: "If there were 11 restaurant windows with 3 nuclear families in each one, how many drinks will she need tonight?"

You grabbed the bar entrance's handle and swung it open, the resulting wind moving the flowy skirt of your maroon dress. Searching the place briefly, you decided on one of the leather barstools in the corner. You made your way over and tucked your coat under yourself before freezing at the ashtray in the corner of your eye. Sighing deeply at the revelation, you ran your fingers through your hair.

You tried reminding yourself about how it was a Sunday. How, tomorrow, bright and early, you'd have to begin multiplication; how one would turn into two and two would turn into four, and no duration of showering would solve the smell following you all the way to the chalkboard. It was wrong. It wasn't the right answer at all. Shaking the idea out of your head, you turned towards the bartender to try and catch eye contact.

But then you decided that actually, the correct answer was 13 couples, not 12, because the bartender was leaning into that customer's ear too close for comfort. And so, reaching into your purse was definitely the right answer because you needed some kind of relief--one that the bartender clearly wasn't going to be giving you anytime soon--if you wanted to get through grading those tests later tonight. You'd already pulled out your lighter by the time he came over to take your order.

It had been all of two seconds since he sat down at the bar, and a female voice was ringing a bell:

"I'd like a beer, please. The cheapest you've got."

He could just barely hear the short sentence, but even so, he found his gray pupils darting as far left as they could go. At the edge of his vision, he was met with a considerably pretty, though still unfamiliar sight: your dainty fingers tracing the rim of your freshly poured pint, your collarbones somehow still pronounced under the dim lighting, and your lipstick, your dark red lips were as far as he would let his eyes go.

He continued to observe quietly as you leaned your head on your free hand, the thin strap of your dress threatening to slip down at the movement as you stared off and took a drag. You didn't seem to recognize him, at least not yet, and he could say the same about you. But he just couldn't shake the feeling that he'd seen you somewhere before. Usually, that was his cue to find a different seat, sometimes even an entirely different bar, but he figured you were easy enough on the eyes that he wouldn't mind taking you home, even if it happened to be for the second time. Plus, as much as he hated to admit it, tonight he was a little restless--maybe even desperate.

He cleared his throat. "Mind if I bum one?"

Tensing up, you straightened your back and turned to him. "Um, yeah, sure," you answered dismissively, reaching into your purse and extending the pack towards him, one stick peeking out.

Grabbing it with a grumbled thanks, he further considered the possibility of you two having slept together before. You were clearly uncomfortable around him, continuously shifting in your seat and avoiding eye contact, whereas female strangers in places like these often did the former but not the latter, starting on his muscular chest and ending with their eyes looking lustily for his, batting their lashes with a lick of their lips. It was only the non-strangers that would try to be one.

Now, if it were any other day, he'd let the poor girl go back to playing her role like she was supposed to. But, again, tonight was different--he was different. It had been a strange past few days.

He brought the lighter to the end of the cigarette and slid it across the counter when he was done. Taking his first inhale, he began his attack.

"I'd buy you a drink," he began, "but if I could afford that, I think I'd be smoking my own cigs."

You perked up at his unexpected joke, struggling to decide on how to respond to that as your cheeks began to heat up. "Oh, um... that's alright," is what you managed to come up with. "I'm... I'm not really that kind of woman."

He squinted his eyes at you. So, you definitely hadn't slept together, then--unless you were really dedicated to the stranger bit. Although, it would make sense if you hadn't; crude as it was, he wasn't familiar with the way your lips enveloped the cigarette, nor with how your fingers wrapped around your glass. But that only fueled him further; if he wasn't already familiar, then he wanted to become familiar.

"Yeah?" he challenged. "What kind of woman are you, then?"

You sighed. "The kind that shouldn't be here."

The man looked around the bar--it was late enough that all the lively celebrants and sports enthusiasts had left already, leaving only corpses slumped next to their empty rounds. He shrugged, returning his gaze to her.

"Don't see anyone that should," he countered.

You took a sip from your glass. "I suppose that's a good point."

"So what's different about you, then?" he asked, bringing the cigarette to his mouth.

Caught off guard once again, you looked at him with your mouth open, about to say something but then closing it, deciding against it. Instead, you took your time to examine him carefully. The dim lighting made it a bit difficult, but you could make out enough thanks to the sharpness of his features; his jawline keen and his eyes hooded, fine black hair falling into them. It wasn't the only thing fine about him--that you couldn't deny, but you also couldn't help but feel uneasy. Even through his hoodless jacket, and even through the gray sweatshirt beneath that, you could tell how hefty his build was, an assumption that was further supported by the sheer size of his hands. It was the exact kind of man your mother told you not to talk to.

"You there?" His voice was deep, alluringly nonchalant as a long cloud escaped his mouth, your attention caught on his sensual breath.

You took another sip--or, rather, a gulp--and set the glass down with a clink, drinking away the consideration of your mother. "I have an image to uphold."

He scoffed with a smirk. "What, you some kind of princess?"

"No," you laughed lightly. "I just... want to set a good example for my kids."

His eyes flitted to your left hand, brows furrowing for a moment. You noticed and, in hindsight, probably should've just let him believe whatever he was thinking. But, alcohol on your breath, you elaborated anyway: "My students, I mean. I'm a teacher."

"Oh," he acknowledged, looking straight ahead again. "Good to know."

An awkward pause followed.

"It's not like they'd ever find out," he suggested, eventually. "You didn't bring 'em here, did you?"

"Oh, God, no. I just..." You bit your lip. "I don't know. I still feel guilty about it."

You traced circles on the dirty counter, feeling each groove of the wood with the pad of your finger.

"I know it's a little stupid, but... Sometimes I worry that they can still smell it. That somehow, the nicotine's still on my skin, and that they can inhale it." You dug your painted nails into your palm. "And I hate imagining them growing up and coming to a place like this and doing these same miserable things because of me."

"I can't imagine you're paid enough to care that much," he argued. Gesturing up and down to your figure, he continued: "You could be a model, you know. Don't know if the pay's much better, but you'll feel like a saint if cigs and beer are all you do."

You chuckled briefly, a softened expression following. "Don't get me wrong--it's as thankless as you've probably heard, but I love my job more than anything," you assured. "But even if I didn't, I'd still do it for free."

"Well, damn. Being around brats all day must be messin' with your head, 'cause that's fuckin' crazy."

"Hey, someone has to show up for those kids," you defended, a firmness in your voice. "I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't."

He didn't say anything to that. Just pondered it.

You tilted your head to the side, relaxing against your palm. "And what about you? What do you do?"

He sat up a bit, blinking away his train of thought. "Physical therapy," he lied. He took a drag and began another falsity, "And I don't have any--" but stopped at the pang of guilt in his chest.

He bit his cheek, stilling as images of that little boy flashed in his mind--in particular, the picture of him pointing at the man accusingly with a woman by his side.

He looked down and cleared his throat again. "I... I have a son."

This time it was your eyes shooting to his ring finger as he lifted the nearly finished cigarette to his lips. And like before, he noticed your glance as he exhaled. "His mom's not around anymore."

"Oh... I'm sorry," you reacted, though admittedly a bit more at ease at both the fact that he had a son and that he was... available.

Another awkward pause sat suffocatingly between the both of you, but not for long.

"Hey, you two," the bartender warned, swiping a wet rag over the counter. "Wrap it up."

In unison, you and the man looked up and realized that the only other person there was the woman the bartender was courting, waiting patiently as he began to put the barstools up.

With one final puff, the man stubbed out his cigarette and you copied, grabbing your coat from your seat and following him out as he held the door for you. Outside, you were met with blinding streetlights and a chill breeze. You moved under the awning, throwing on your coat and, upon realizing he was still there, you took advantage of the better lighting.

It wasn't much you hadn't seen already--again, his features were razor-like--but during your time in there, considering that your seat was to his left, you had only gotten about three-quarters of him, not to mention his lower half. But when you saw him, his face in particular and it in its entirety, one glaring detail caught your eyes, making them go wide: there was a scar across the right corner of his lips.

Your heart dropped, beating and breathing speeding up at the realization of who he was. Your chest got tighter and tighter as you examined his, recognizing the scary figure from three days prior. He turned in the other direction, pretending to look for somewhere to go, so he didn't see the color drain from your skin.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced briefly at the ground. "So, how 'bout it?" he asked, looking up at you smugly. "You waiting on a carriage or are you gonna let me take you home, princess?"

Whatever color had escaped your face before rose right back to your cheeks at his question, burning with both arousal and fear, the two feelings sharing a common denominator of panic. You were seeing his whole body now, and he looked even bigger than before. Standing instead of sitting, and doing so right next to you, he towered over you, just like he did over your umbrella that day. And you couldn't help but remember how icy his glare had been when you bumped into him, and how, equally as cold, he'd barked something angrily at you for it.

And then your mind started to drift into events you couldn't have possibly recalled but could only imagine: perhaps it was from an ugly knife fight on the street, or the shattered glass crossfire of his own bank robbery, or even him taking assignments from the Yakuza and, somehow, through some unimaginably horrific mission, earning that scar. You inferred the likelihood of there being other wounds--other stories that you couldn't see--and that, this time, your mother was probably right.

"I-I," you stammered. "I can't, um..." You swallowed thickly. "I should really go home."

The neon "Open" sign behind you had flickered into nothingness, and, slowly, a drizzle had begun tapping rhythmically against the awning.

Moving closer to you, he persisted. "But it's already past midnight, isn't it? And you're only getting prettier."

That, as soon as it left his lips, he couldn't help but cringe at. He knew he was desperate tonight, but, jeez, he wasn't even drunk and he was saying things he wouldn't be caught dead saying in the daylight. But he couldn't tell if that meant his act was too strong or the opposite: that it was slipping.

Either way, you clearly didn't like it, because you flinched at his approach, and now you were beginning to take slow steps back.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," you said before turning your back to him and picking up your speed. You kept your strides long as you dug into your large purse feverishly until, finally, you felt the nylon of your travel umbrella.

Thanks to your pace, you'd made it a substantial distance by the time you pulled it out, stopping to fiddle with the clasp that kept it shut. You tried catching your breath, your thoughts bouncing around your skull until they landed on a realization. His jacket had no hood.

Yes, that was right, you recalled against your will. When you were talking, when he was saying all those subtle-but-there flirtations in his low voice, eyeing your figure with those hooded eyes and smoking your cigarette so sultrily, you were eyeing him right back in that perfectly fitted black jacket. But, unlike yours, it didn't have a hood.

The shower was coming down harder--it was spring, after all--but you were frozen. Your stilettos were seemingly glued to the sidewalk. Licking your lips before sinking your teeth into them, the taste of rainwater and lipstick mixed with the flavor of alcohol and smoke in your mouth. Slowly prying your heels from the ground, you began to make your way back to him, still standing in front of the bar window and waiting for you with a satisfied grin. Back under the awning, you planted yourself next to him, daring to look at his face, his eyebrows raised.

You pulled up your hood with one hand and extended your umbrella with the other, speaking one final time:

"Don't worry about buying me a drink, okay?"

And with that, you had already taken off, having placed the umbrella against the wall next to him long before he even registered your question. He gawked at the back of your hooded head as you scurried away, heels splashing against the wet concrete as you tried not to slip.

When he was sure you were gone, he bent over and picked up the umbrella. He ran his fingers over the polka-dotted nylon and studied it incredulously, knowing--for certain this time--that he'd seen it before. And yet, he was acting like he didn't even know what the object was, tilting it back and forth as if it weren't the same pattern and shape all around.

The bar door rang with a bell as the bartender and his girl left hand and hand, and the man tried to convince himself he was done studying the item in his.

Eventually, he went to open it, having to fuss with the mechanism that kept the spokes contracted, but as it would turn out, his hunch was right; he hadn't seen all of it. For, when he opened his closed palm and revealed the plastic black handle, he found two lines of cursive handwriting written in silver permanent marker:

If lost, please return to L/N Y/N

xxx-xxx-xxxx

***

series masterlist | next

#jjk x reader #jjk #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #fanfic #my writing #writing #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #toji x reader #toji smut #toji x you #fushiguro toji

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nottawriter · 6 months

Text

Fanfic Writer Questions!

Thanks for the tag, @fazedlight and @thatonebirdwrites

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 16

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

356,960

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supergirl – Arrowverse/ DC Comics: Primarily Supercorp, secondarily Dansen, Brainia, and J’M’zz, and I have one AgentReign with secondary Supercorp.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

PRIDE and Prejudice – Super gay retelling of Jane Austen’s classic. Every kudos equals $1.00US to a LGBTQIA2S charity I make at the conclusion of Pride month (June) each year (teen)

Tell Me It’s Not Too Late – Post-S4, Lillian believes Supergirl is responsible for Lex’s death. Lena rushes to J’onn’s for game night, to confront Kara on her identity, only to find she’s nowhere to be found (teen)

I Believe in a Thing Called Love – Full alternate Season 6 rewrite (teen)

Wouldn’t It Be Nice – 50 First Dates movie AU (teen)

How Lost We Are – Lena is placed by her Witness Protection team (Maggie, Kelly, and Lucy) in Midvale as a flower shop owner where she meets teacher Kara and coffee/bookshop owner Jess, among others (mature)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, I do usually respond, though not always right away. I enjoy chatting about my fics, so don’t hesitate to ask questions, but I don’t give out spoilers though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

When She’s Gone, the Darkness Comes – Oof. It was so sad I had to write a second chapter. I much prefer happy endings (teen)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them have a happy ending of some kind, or they will once they’re completed. Though there are some with happy endings like Speak Now and Tis the Damn Season. Smut. I’m talking about smut (explicit)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah, though I’ve been mostly lucky. I don’t know why people leave hate on any fics really. If you don’t like something, close the tab.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. It started as a small scene here or there when it was a natural progression of the fic, but now I occasionally right full smut fics and pwp like those found here (explicit)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Kind of, but the characters are all from within the Arrowverse/ DC Comics universes somewhere.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I don't understand why someone would do this. Please respect writers.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I Believe in a Thing Called Love is also in Spanish Creo en una cosa llamada amor (teen)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’m currently working on one with @thatonebirdwrites, though it's not published. It’s a Supercorp fic where Kara is a building inspector and when she goes to inspect Lena’s home, she meets Lena’s daughter to tells her the floor is lava, so naturally Kara has to ensure that issue gets resolved.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Supercorp. But I do love most wlw ships

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I intent to finish all of my active WIPs. I have some WIP ideas that may or may not ever get going, but once I start a fic, I intend to finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have no idea… I guess easter egg type stuff or like blending canon into storylines. If your a reader and there's something you think is a strength I have, let me know.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Actually writing. Words be hard. And it's hard to find the time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I do it sometimes, probably not well. I like to include the translation in the fic (unless the characters themselves aren’t supposed to understand until later). But I'm sure the translations aren't fully right as I only use google translate and the Kryptonian dictionary.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supercorp. I started writing fiction in Dec 2020. Before that it was all scientific research papers for uni.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I suppose What Has Been Lost (Mature). It was what started this crazy adventure, has been the most challenging piece, and my longest (still ongoing). It truly blends lore and characters from across the Arrowverse and DC Comics into a human world and original storyline.

For Tags, if you'd like to participate: @fyonahmacnally @casualsavant @luthordamnvers @itsalliebitheway @innamorament0

#supercorp #supercorp fanfic #fic writing

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teethoftheeditor3 · 3 months

Note

Fav anime?

A very difficult question my friend, and one that I don't have a definitive answer for. I haven't made my list of things I want to talk about yet because it's gonna be long, but anything I've drawn is from something I love.

I can give you a few of my favourites, and I'm definitely going to both leave out and forget a lot of them. And I don't want to give spoilers either, so the descriptions will be short. For the record, most of these I recommend reading if you can, though if you can only watch them then I understand. Apologies for the sloppy grammar.

In no particular order:

Akudama Drive - a cyberpunk heist plot (anime original)

The Ones Within - a thriller/mystery type thing

The Eminence in Shadow - good goofy fun

Akame Ga Kill - a classic revolution with a twist (I haven't read this but I plan to, the manga is apparently better than the show)

No Game No Life - no war, only war games

Log Horizon - The best isekai ever. really well written and worldbuilt but the author is mildly sexist and was arrested for tax fraud.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime (Season 1) - Isekai, I've only seen the first season, but i read the lightnovels

Hellsing - a vampire that hunts other abominations

Hellsing Ultimate - the later adaptation of Hellsing that actually follows the manga because they actually had the manga to follow

Horimiya - cute romcom

Infinite Dendrogram - a very interesting premise, executed slightly above average

Charlotte - by Jun Maeda, if you know that name that's enough to know if you'll like it, very sad

Code Geass - Lelouch of the Rebellion. Do not give the movie and newer stuff the time of day. the story was complete at the end of season two where it was intended to end.

Trigun - a western

Cowboy Bebop - wikipedia calls it a neo-noir space western. and yeah, that's accurate

Yu-yu Hakusho - one of the first shounen

Mirai Nikki/The Future Diary - what if your diary started making entries for tomorrow

Overlord - evil d&d isekai

Yu-Gi-Oh - a card game replaced all other everything

Yu-Gi-Oh GX - card game highschool

Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's - CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES

Psycho-Pass - a crime/thriller

Tokyo Ghoul - basically vampires, very edgy

Assassination Classroom - the title kinda says it all

Terror in Resonance/Zankyu no Terror - thriller, difficult material that probably requires a trigger warning. it was removed from my streaming site before i could finish it. Beautiful music, look up the motorcycle scene

B: The Beginning - supernatural crime drama/police procedural, i need to watch season 2

Death Note - you know what that is

Hunter x Hunter - a very fun shounen with a cool power system

Violet Evergarden - very sad

Re:Zero - Return by death isekai

Jujutsu Kaisen - season one is amazing, i read the manga instead of season two so i can't attest to that

Haikyuu - volleyball

Kuroko no Basket/Kuroko's Basketball - What if basketball had naruto eye powers

Tower of God - based on the webtoon, the anime is really good

Mushoku Tensei - isekai with really good worldbuilding, but a main character and plot that are not for the faint of heart

In the Land of Leadale - cozy isekai

Remake Our Life - guy gets the chance to redo his life... but time travel has consequences

This very long list is just for anime which I have seen. if I were to open the field to books that have gotten an anime you'd have things like

The Executioner and Her Way of Life

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Chillin' in another world with level 2 super cheat powers

Berserk of Gluttony

I'm In Love With the Villainess

The Detective is Already Dead (read this one the anime is apparently terrible)

Solo Leveling

There are probably a whole bunch more too that I can't remember. It's been almost 5 years since I pretty much stopped watching anime altogether in favour of reading the original novels or manga. This list is by no means comprehensive and there are a number of things I left off because I like them but they aren't really... good. Like Seirei Gensouki.

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sovonight · 9 months

Note

I've been considering playing Baldur's Gate because of you. Do you recommend it What is a good order to play the games in??

absolutely i recommend it!

first off, it's important to know that bg1 & bg2 are their own story, and bg3 is practically separate from them. bg3 is set a century after the events of bg1/bg2, and just has a few character cameos and references from bg1/bg2 (though from what i've heard some of the cameos aren't very good interpretations of the original characters). bg3 doesn't enhance the bg1/bg2 story in any way, and knowledge of bg1/bg2 doesn't matter when playing bg3.

i'd suggest starting with bg3 if you:

are used to modern rpg games, and 3d visuals are particularly important to you

know you don't/won't like infinity engine games (for a spoiler-free preview, look up walkthroughs of icewind dale 1 or 2 and watch a couple minutes of travel, dialogue, and combat gameplay)

i'd suggest starting with bg1/bg2 if you:

don't have a strong preference for starting with bg3 instead

enjoy the potential for mods to expand the game--not just in terms of gameplay, but in story/quest additions and companions, too

are interested in knowing the story that i'm drawing all my fanart of

have a limited budget (you can get these games for very cheap, they frequently go on sale)

if you want to start with bg3, you're all set! go ahead and get started. if you want to start with bg1/bg2, i have a bit more to add:

if you've looked into buying these games, you may have noticed that there's bg1/bg2, and then there's bgee/bg2ee (ee meaning "enhanced edition"). there's also a new dlc that's ee-only. so here's the original playing order:

baldur's gate (bg1)

baldur's gate: tales of the sword coast (tosc): bg1 expansion, adds new side quests and areas to explore during bg1

baldur's gate ii: shadows of amn (bg2, sometimes abbreviated soa to distinguish from tob below)

baldur's gate ii: throne of bhaal (tob): bg2 expansion, directly continues the story from soa and officially ends the series

and here's the enhanced edition order:

baldur's gate: enhanced edition (bgee): contains bg1 and tosc

baldur's gate: seige of dragonspear (sod): bg1 expansion released in 2016 to bridge the gap between bg1 and bg2 (i haven't played it yet, but if you're just testing out the series i'd say don't bother getting it yet, it was released 15 years after the story concluded so how necessary can it really be)

baldur's gate ii: enhanced edition (bg2ee): contains soa and tob

the enhanced edition also adds 4 new companions, an arena side adventure, and overall provides a lot of fixes/improvements/updates on the original games. obviously, considering all these additions and the ee mods that have come out since the ee series release, the ee series is where you should start.

side note--if you buy the ee series on gog (maybe on steam too, but i've only checked it on gog) you'll actually get downloads for the original, non-ee games as well. if you enjoy playing old games for the feeling of time-traveling into the past a bit, and you have the patience to fuss around with troubleshooting and mods, they're a perfectly fine place to start as well! (i personally am still playing the non-ee trilogy even now, but that's for a whole mix of reasons, including that i like using the physical cd's i bought them on lmao)

now finally, if you got this far and are thinking "okay, i'm cautiously interested in bg1/bg2, but which one of the two should i start with???"

start with bg2 if you:

just want to jump in and see what all the fuss is about

don't care about having context in the beginning (you'll gain some context as you play, though not all)

want vampires, technology, and more sewers in your d&d experience

prefer a story with darker tones and a lot of driving urgency

start with bg1 if you:

like starting at the beginning to have context for everything that happens

want a standard, classic adventure with camps, forests, and bustling cities

don't need the plot to engage you if your companions are there with conversations, commentary, and banter

are willing to install at least one mod, BG1NPC

i found bg1 to be kind of a slog to get through on my very first playthrough, but adding in character interactions via BG1NPC really livened the game up for me and made it my favorite game out of the series. (imo this works best if you're willing to do a romance though, bc unfortunately romanced companions tend to get the most interactions & care put into their conversations.)

you don't strictly need BG1NPC on bgee bc the ee adds those aforementioned companions who do have conversations with you, but iirc they don't talk as much or provide as many opportunities for interaction as some of the modded companions do. (for context, in the original bg1, companions don't talk to you or comment on events at all; that only became a thing in bg2.) playing bgee without BG1NPC means you'll have to get at least 1 of the 3 ee companions to hear any conversations at all.

anyway, hopefully this wasn't too long or confusing. i hope you try the games out!

#(*i recommend bg1/bg2 of course. we all know how i feel about bg3)#sovo answers

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blubushie · 4 months

Text

Wolf Creek 2 script... analysis thingo

Warning, this is gonna contain spoilers for the TV series, and the movie, and the books, and what all have you. So read at your own discretion.

Also I'm gonna hang a bit of shit on Greg McLean in this in the typical friendly Aussie ribbing fashion. Yeah yeah I know Aaron Sterns also co-wrote the script, but between Greg, and Aaron (who also co-wrote Origins), and Brett McBean (who co-wrote Desolation Game), the only common denominator between the movies, the telly series, and the books is Greg. So you're the one copping shit, mate.

Also this is gonna be bloody long and will probably take a day or so for me to finish going through, so check the reblogs ay.

I wrote up a whole thing about this and then it got deleted cuz I closed the tab so I'm kinda pissed about that but anyway-

This number is actually closer to 38,000 average per year, but 98% of missing people in Australia are found in the first three months--these are "short term missing persons". Long-term missing persons are much rarer.

Additionally this number is massively skewed. These aren't people just disappearing into the outback. Australian national policy is that ANY MINOR in state care MUST be reported missing when they miss curfew. In 2023, 55,000 people were reported missing. Of them, 37,000 were children, 99% of which were found within one week of being reported as missing. This means that 67% of missing Australians are missing children found within a week.

I'm only mentioning this because I'm a former missing Australian child, and I think these statistics being included in the title sequences is funny given how they're taken so out of context. Ooooo spooky scary outback serial killer? Nah just teenagers going AWOL.

Model confirmation.

Greg does this often--spells shit incorrectly (usually with American spelling). It's tyres, mate. Fucken Melbu- [I am taken out back and shot like a lame horse]

Taking a moment away from hanging shit on M-lburnians to praise Greg for his prose. Genuinely--I love the prose in this script and how skilled he is at getting the image in his head across to his actors to replicate.

-1 for not calling it a gunbox. But +1 for being Like That about the knife.

The feigned innocence gets me. (I mean, to be fair, he IS innocent here of what they're about to drag him about--just ignore the dead chick in the meatlocker in the back of the rig.)

It's arse, you git. We aren't Americans.

I just wanna giggle about this because a lot of time when people picture sociopaths in media, it's "wanton disrespect for the law". Which really isn't the case. It's more "respectful of the law so long as it suits us" and Mick reflects this. He knows wanton disrespect of it would draw attention. Bloke's careful.

Also Greg spelt "arsed" here properly. So he knows.

Had a perfect opportunity to introduce international audiences to "bogan" and blew it. Shame, Greg. Shame.

This would've been the FIRST thing out of a cop's mouth when they rapped the window, not waffling beforehand.

[tap tap, motioning to roll the window down] "G'arvo, licence, registration, proof of insurance." Followed by noticing the rifle racked on the window and "Licence for that too. You have any other weapons?" and THEN they start checking your shit.

Sauce have been pulled over by police a few times, usually for a blow in the bag. (I am also careful.)

I didn't get to see what darts he smokes and I'm gonna whinge about this forever. I bet it's Winfields. Fucken bet. Bloke's smoke.

That escalated quickly. (Greg's edge is showing.) Also they'd have asked about the rifle a LOT sooner.

"An evil not quite human." Iunno maybe this is just the disorders in me speaking but after that shit I'd fucken shoot 'em too. That's very human actually I reckon.

Also at one point in this scene Greg calls a windscreen "windshield". There's something in M-lbourne's water. I'm not gonna keep screencapping mistakes like that but I will keep bitching about them. He misspells "metres" too as "meters".

I'm glad we have this moment in the show, when he tells the Kiwi--forget his name, soz mate--to dig. And then starts monologuing to him about how much he hates Kiwis (funny callback to Cutter from Origins--aw, Mick, look who still holds a grudge). But I'll be arsed if this isn't a great sequence, and I'm slightly bummed we didn't get it.

#wolf creek

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bnomiko · 1 year

Text

Nocturne ramblings, with spoilers

(This is NOT a rant post. Nor specifically a spoiler post. I'm just making observations and babbling shit about some of the characters in Nocturne thus far.)

I did a spoiler-free ramble post, now time for the other side of the coin, just to let loose a bit...

**SPOILERS** ahoy for Castlevania: Nocturne, S1.

Vampires in general

I'm very happy to see some souped up vampires. Let's face it, the majority of them in the original animation weren't exactly impressive. They were basically people with pointy teeth and like 1 special ability. The fact that 2 1/2 humans could walk into a castle and just waste twenty or thirty of them without taking damage (other than Alucard taking a fist to the mug) felt a bit lackluster.

Oh, but there's a LOT of vampires touching sunlight that aren't going up in flames. You can't just hold a parasol over one and expect them not to combust : p

Olrox

I said it before, but seriously, give a raise to whoever did his character design. He's absolutely delicious. Those cheekbones! The dragon's eyes! I want to roll myself in his hair like a bug in a rug then slap those meaty thighs...

I've also watched all his interactions with Mizrak again. I don't understand how the two of them make so much more sense (given that they literally went from "You know my name, tell me yours" to fucking to "I don't love you" to … maybe I do…), than like, canon pairing Richter and Annette, who feel about as compelling as a piece of dry toast.

I truly hope he continues playing a little on both sides of the fence. It makes him so much more interesting than the majority of the characters who are simply on one side or the other.

Juste

I admit I got all excited thinking he was Alucard in a glamour at first, because when you first see his eyes, there's a gold gleam (of course the second he touched the whip I went, "Ahh, it's Juste.")

I'm sure it's more that his eyes appear to be a very light gray and catch any candle/firelight, but I'd rather think that the animators were being cheeky and hiding a reference to the fact that when HoD came out, some fans were convinced Juste was Alucard's son.

Talking about who looks like who's offspring, uh… I almost question if Maxim was doing some sneaking. Doesn't Julia look more like Maxim?? Since they threw out Vampire Killer clause #1, why not throw out the rest of it?

(I mean... really, who would you think was daddy?)

Also… I honestly do feel badly for Juste. He's always been one of the forgotten Belmonts, but maybe he was better off forgotten as I think most headcanons imagined him living a quiet retirement with his wife and their husband, surrounded by a massive stockpile of overly gaudy home furnishings, with little grandson Richter visiting and getting lost in all the furniture : )

Maria

I already made mention of the fact that she's all of 12 in game canon (and apparently 16 in Nocturne), which makes it all the more awkward that her future boyfriend's already made his appearance when she hasn't even hit her teens yet. I mean… how is that going to work?

(Sorry, can't resist reusing this, Richter's reaction is too funny.)

I feel ya, bro.

Tera

I was so young and naive when I read The Scarlet Letter that I didn't actually get what it was about at the time lol… actually took me years to figure it out. And… yeah, that's it. That's my comment.

Emmanuel (the abbot)

This guy will never get the death he actually deserves. It'll probably be something relatively quick, like falling into a pit of lava *shrug*

Drolta

Kind of a shame to off her so soon. Her latex collection was impressive.

Erzsebet

Carmilla?

And of course, Alucard

Okay, I get that he probably just woke up, but maybe a few strokes with a hairbrush before you run out the door, eh buddy?

Compare to Alucard in the mini artbook/manga for SotN (look at those crisp curls!) waking up after his 300 year nap:

I don't mind the "washed out" palette as much as others do. He was pretty much the textbook definition of pale in SotN anyhow.

Actually it would've been really damn funny if he'd showed up in his pajamas, screaming, "I hope I'm not too… wait, what year is it?" *looks at Maria* "Fuck I'm too early!"

#castlevania #castlevania nocturne #nocturne spoilers #maria renard #olrox

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canonmisogynyvictimstournament · 1 year

Text

PROPAGANDA

MIKAN TSUMIKI (DANGANRONPA 2: GOODBYE DESPAIR) (CW: Mind Control, Bullying)

1.) She is literally the saddest side character I know out of the series. She canonically went through severe abuse and bullying, oversexualizes herself as a defense mechanism, and has really bad anxiety that interferes with her interactions.

Does she get better? No.

Even though the whole theme of Danganronpa is overcoming despair, she never gets the support she needs despite having a lot of supposedly nice classmates. She CONTINUES to get verbally abused by another classmate nobody really bothers to stop, and one of her best friend even ENABLES some of her bad coping mechanisms. She's also the main source of fanservice for the second game.

Then she gets fucking brainwashed into one of the main villain's henchwoman. Yeah, the writers did NOT let her catch a break.

2.) The first two chapters are obsessed with having her do that stupid 'oh nooo all my clothes came off :"( u can see my panties :"(' shit and her free time events especially drift into the 'I'm accidentally saying something that's sexy but I don't know the connotations' brand of jokes. Idk what the spoiler policy is so I won't say much about her actual good points, but when she gets a chance to shine, she's really really interesting! For sure one of my favorite characters in the game! She's got nuance and character and relationships and motivations and interests and all that good stuff! She's even gay! It's just that its almost completely eclipsed by mediocre at best horny jokes for the first 2/3rds of her screentime in game and it drives me actually insane.

3.) You could put nearly all of the dr girls in this bracket, actually. But I picked Mikan because she's such a clear example. They just put her in there to sexualize her and her trauma. There were many ideas that could have been executed well with Mikan (I can relate to the aspect of her sexualizing herself, but the fact that they use it for fanservice is. Wow! And not in a good way) but they use her for fanservice instead. And she had the WORST execution or at least it was somewhere in the top 3. They unceremoniously cut off her development with the "despair disease" (hate that motive btw) and basically made her whole personality in what was supposed to be sorta love her 3rd act villain breakdown into "oooh my beloved ahaha I can't wait to be reunited with my beloved." I don't know shit about the anime but she seems to have been treated just as terribly there if not made worse! If it weren't for the fact that I refuse to acknowledge the animes existence it might have made me dislike her during the time I still actively liked the franchise. All the outfits they give her also feel like they were made just for fanservice shots (most of the outfits themselves aren't really bad at least not the ones I've seen it's that they were made with the intent to sexualize her and not to look good and fit her character) which is super frustrating. Oh and she was treated terribly in the game by Hiyoko but when she killed hiyoko it was just whoops she saw me kill ibuki gotta end her instead of giving her an interesting motive for even one of her kills. Honestly what makes me says she's screwed over by misogyny specifically is the fact that shit like this probably would not have happened if she were a guy. She wouldn't be written perfectly but her writing would be so much better. Like she was reduced to fanservice so so so many times and treated awfully.

OCHETTE (OCTOPATH TRAVELER 2) (CW: Racism, Ableism)

1.) SO. actually she's combod by the heavy anti-pasifika racism in ot2 but one of the strongest elements of that is that ochette herself is infantilized to the point of a 20 year old woman, who is a fully trained adult warrior and ingame stated to be like a week away from replacing her island's ultrabeast white lion guardian, being characterized by cool normal things like "having the white catholic inquisitor character promise to teach her backward people human language(the fantasy pasifika tribe she's from are kemonomimi because of course they are)", "haha ochette no understand human custom and have funny naive misunderstanding", "ochette draws the catholic inquisitor character a cutesy kiddie drawing", and being completely removed from any discussions around sex because octopath has this sexism problem where the only two types of women are innocent babies and femme fatales which is so cool AND normal. so ochette gets actually written to be essentially a "mental child" or sometimes an actual animal and is never, ever, ever allowed to have any dynamic with a human that is not paternal in nature because she is Baby. so she's also fighting the ableism. and despite all odds being stacked against her she manages to fuck super hard in a way that makes it so obvious that if ot2 was just less sexist and less racist and less ableist and someone suplexed the non-pasifika dev team and brought in at least a sensitivity reader, she could have fucked SO much harder. honestly imo the fact that the racism against her is superficially gender neutral is not proof that it's not sexism but proof that it IS, as a major part of racist sexism is treating the womanhood of woc as either unimportant or inferior compared to white womanhood, where pasifika woc specifically are often treated as eternal innocent girls who just can never understand an adult woman's relationship with gender. ochette not being allowed to be a woman and trapped at "child too young to even have a gender" is sickeningly sexist. she should have been allowed to have zest for life and be literally the "my daughter might have autism but god damn she can work a grill" lady and be unsure about taking on a hugely important position without it being used as shorthand for her being a toddler in the body of a notably very skinny girl considering she is canonically jacked enough to carry an iguana the size of a bus but WHATEVER. she should also have been allowed to hunt the white catholic inquisitor whose story climaxes with him killing an indigenous woman who secretly infiltrated the church in order to get revenge for them massacring her entire tribe that confirms ochette's people are kemonomimi because an ancient wizard cursed the brutish natives for their violence. actually fuck it i would put kaldena in too but thinking about her actually makes me depressed im so fucking sorry girl. they should BOTH have gotten a ten minute cutscene of beating hm to death with hammers

#polls #round 1 #week 1 #new #cw mind control #cw bullying #cw racism #cw ableism

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no-white-dress · 1 year

Text

Hunter Deamonne, Heart Of Novocaine

Warning: major spoilers for The Owl House seasons 2 and 3!

You made me tough, you made me numb

You are the maker of what I’ve become

There is no doubt that Hunter, prior to Hunting Palismen (and even after it, arguably), was this tough, young (too young) soldier, numb to everything that casted some shadows over his Emperor's actions. He justifies Belos in any way possible (the Titan's plans must be followed even when they're intricate, it's for the greater good), because it means to absolve himself too.

Belos is the maker of what he's become in so many ways. He literally made him from the bones of his brother, he molded his mind for who knows how many years (it is unclear how long it has been since Hunter's birth), keeping him isolated from anyone even inside the castle. Belos never wanted a brother, he wanted a puppet.

And now I am strong where I was weak

And I am unafraid of being me

But Hunter eventually slipped out of Belos' grip. He challenged Belos' rules. Sure, at first he did so to help him, to prove himself to him. By doing so, though, he did exactly what Belos feared: he became his own person, with passions and connections and his own thoughts, which ultimately didn't align with those of the Emperor. Maybe they aligned with his teachings (don't lie, Hunter, it pains the Titan. Always respect your superiors. Obey), but not with his will. Belos sure never wanted Hunter to get close to Darius, he didn't want the kid close to anyone other than him. He sure didn't want Hunter to end up in the human realm and discover what actual familial love looks like, how it feels like, that it doesn't have to be earned.

So say hello to the monster that you made

Thank you for the pain

Thank you for the hate

Thank you for the way

That you left me scarred

Thank you for the stain

That you left on my brain

Now because of you

I’ve got a heart of novocaine

A heart of novocaine

Things change so fast. They're really confusing. Suddenly multiple figures are uncomfortable with the way Hunter expresses his respect, which is the way Belos taught him. And yet these figures are just as worthy of respect as he used to be in Hunter's eyes, so why do they not want it? Why does Camila look embarrassed when Hunter kneels before her, why does she ask him to never do it again? Why is Darius so frustrated with him for following orders, when that is what is required of the weakest of soldiers?

There are so many ways his uncle got into Hunter's mind and skin. The way he flinches when someone touches him without proper warning or when he expects a punishment, the way he never asks for help because he should be able to do it on his own, even some of his speech patterns come from Belos.

Once upon a time you had control

And lorded over my poor soul

And I trusted you but now I see

You never knew the real me

Belos used to control everything in Hunter's life. He was suffocating, to the point where Hunter regards the trial on a mountain of his scout training as a fond memory, while Steve regards it as some nightmarish experience. His modus operandi is so ingrained in Hunter that we see in Hunting Palismen and Eclipse Lake that he sees everything as either worthy of being sought and thus earned through trials, or expendable. He uses the palismen as leverage with Luz, he uses Luz as leverage with Amity, and it doesn't feel wrong to him, because it's strategy, just a tool to get him what he wants. Clearly, he's seen this same game play out countless times in the throne room, standing by his uncle's side.

All that comes to an end, though. A visit to his uncle's mindscape reveals that not only his motives aren't the ones he flaunts, not only has he lied for ages about his identity and goal: he also lied about Hunter, about their family, about his goals for him. Hunter is a tool to Belos, or a replacement of someone else as best. But just like he failed to understand Caleb, Belos fails to understand Hunter.

To Belos, Caleb was probably the caregiver, the one who was there for him when he got a scraped knee or woke up from a nightmare. But they grew up and Caleb became his own person, because little Philip wasn’t so little anymore and could handle himself. Caleb challenged what they were taught, and found his own morals and beliefs. Philip was never able to do the same, for four hundred years. In fact, he expects Hunter to be just like his older brother, without realizing that Caleb was never the idea he had of him, so Hunter (and all the other grimwalkers) can't help but fail him. Because they will always end up growing into their own person.

Now I’m angry and you wonder why

You see the fire burning In my eyes

Once you had me but you lost me now

And there’s no going back

When he first faces the truth about Belos, Hunter is swarmed by fear. But I believe that, with time, especially in the human realm, he also develops resentment towards Belos. Resentment for being lied to, for being used, for being born even, for being barred from choosing his own path.

Belos may momentarily force himself on Hunter, possess him and even use his very hand to take the life of his first friend, Flapjack, but it's too late. Hunter learned who he is, he likes to be his own person with his own dreams and goals, and that freedom can only end on his own terms.

So say hello to the monster that you made

He knows he's a monster to Belos now. He embodies so many things he hates: witches, wild magic, autonomy, self-affirmation. And those are the things Hunter rubs in his face as he resists Belos' grip on his body and mind, before ending it on his own terms. That speech was his last act in his mind, and he chose to have it be a speech of hopes and dreams for the future and of love and tenderness for the unruly magic Belos despised, because Hunter isn't Belos, and Hunter loves those things and wants those things.

Thank you for the pain

Thank you for the hate

Thank you the way

That you left me scarred

Thank you for the stain

That you left on my brain

Now because of you

I’ve got a heart of novocaine

A heart of novocaine

My fear has died, my tears have dried, I don’t feel afraid and I won’t run away

I believe in me and now I see right through your lies hiding behind your eyes

Because of you I’ll make it through

Nothing can hurt me like you did anymore

Ever since Hollow Mind, Hunter was terrified of the very idea of being in Belos' presence again, and understandably so given his uncle had tried to kill him while he was still in his mindscape. In King's Tide he manages to fight him, but still stays on the sidelines. He talks back to him for probably the first time in his life, but he's still terrified.

At the end of Thanks To Them Hunter isn't afraid, not in the same way. Belos is in his blood, Flapjack is agonizing. It can't really get any worse, can it? Hunter knows what Belos' goals are, so he knows how to disrupt them. He knows how to keep his friends safe. And he does.

Thank you for the pain

Thank you for the hate

Thank you for the way that you

Left me scarred

Now there’s nothing you can say

To wash it all away

Yeah because of you

I’ve got a heart of novocaine

A heart of novocaine

#the owl house #hunter deamonne #halestorm #heart of novocaine #vicious #emperor belos #song analysis #hunter toh

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tartrat · 3 months

Text

Lights out drop 2 review I guess

Im not good at giving reviews but here are my thoughts on paparazzi and the legacy songs because I don't own JD3 or 4 as well as other general thoughts i might have. Spoilers for paparazzi i guess.

Paparazzi: I always forget how slow this song is and i was listening to it this morning before the drop went live. Anyway I actually really like it, the outfits remind me a lot of Gaga especially the hero/villain costume from the movie part. Moves were a bit confusing at first (I only got superstar on my first try there.) but theres this sort of elegance and class to them during the red carpet section and then the sort of monstrous movements during the movie section were fun, although a bit hard to get down at first.

Hot For Me: The dance is great, i was hoping for the song to be a bit better. I don't really have much else to say.

Dance All Nite: Out of the three legacy songs in this drop, this is the best and fits the theme of the season better with all the neon in the background. I did mess up the second last gold move on my first attempt though. All around a solid map.

We R Who we R: I never knew that this was the "Hot and Dangerous" song, like i knew that it was Kesha who said it but didn't know the song lol. Its sort of lost on me like i don't know what the map is trying to say or what the general theming is. The coach is obviously a punk but then the people in the back at the rave section are normal, I think. Then there is the random fire that happens in the background. Its fun but i wouldn't go out of my way to do it often

My ranking for the new songs is:

1 Todo de ti

2 Paparazzi

3 Don't Rush

and for the legacy songs

1 Circus (Extreme)

2 Dance All Nite

3 Part of Me

4 Hot For Me

5 We R Who We R

I wouldn't necessarily say that wrwwr is the worst legacy song just more that its the weakest. I think that JD 4 has some of the worst or weakest maps in the series, i really only care about So what and Gold Dust from that game. In general JD4 is overated.

I also want to know who is stalking Eva Chase and the other Lady Gaga Coaches who are seen on the cork board. Initially i thought that Louise Dials would be the coach you could see her in the top right corner of the background in the season rewards. It could be Night Swan after the events of the escape in telephone or someone else whos hunting them down in relation to the event and noticed how Eva, and possibly Felicia evaded capture.

I think after Poker Face releases in JD2025 thats the majority of Gaga's hits covered in the series. I think what remains is Edge of glory, Perfect Illusion, and i guess Shallow (though that might be awkward), before they go for her other popular songs that aren't as big. I really hope they do Americano or Replay at some point even if its just during a season.

I'm now excited for the next event. then after that it'll probably be another celebration event akin to last year's 2024 event. I can see Night Swan being the legendary avatar for that. Its so funny because i believe that a majority of the fandom who came in from JD 2023 wouldn't have survived prior as the seasons from 2019 - 2022 were just the three new songs and legacies and then radio silence for a month an a half, with the only rewards being from the world dance floor which were always kind of weird I don't know how we managed with those basic avatars for so long, much prefer the new avatars). and then 2022 only had 2 seasons but at least they got 8 songs each. I can't really remember but i think back during the 2018 era the exclusives and legacies were just dropped at random times, like i even remember when Sax and Mi Gente leaked and was left wondering when those would release and it wasn't until like January and April respectively or something like that.

Side note its so funny how you can see some leakers complain about fans complaining about leaks. Like obviously people are going to be upset that you've been parading around leaks, people want to be surprised and make their own theories and not just be told what exactly is going down. Like all the games from JD2021-2024 have been leaked so far and i think as a direct result of that the previews have been shortened down to 30 seconds, or songs getting cut or replaced (Darkest hour still fits better than Eurythmics because it feels more like Leda's thoughts, I'll defend darkest hour and the Night Swan Prologue until i die). I think at this point the leakers are just getting off of the reactions of those who are annoyed, and we can't ignore them as it feels like they are purposely making themselves known. Best thing i can akin the leakers to is Trisha Paytas, like we all try our best to ignore her then she does something insanely weird to draw our attention back to her. I know that the leakers have had their own fair share of respective drama as it comes up on my YouTube home feed from time to time and i try to ignore it. its been going on for years i don't think it'll stop any time soon as they just find new ways to get info.

Anyway the seasons have been great this year (minus Don't rush) and im excited to see what comes next, lets just try to be positive.

#just dance #just dance 2024 #just dance lights out season #just dance plus #i'm not the best at reviews or giving my own thoughts ahhh

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asbestos4president · 10 hours

Text

Ham episode 2 "Whoopsies" transcript

Below the read more due to spoilers

[soothing music box lullaby mixed with Indie snoring]

[crash]

Indie

(waking up. Realisation that a spaceship has crashed through her roof)

AAAAA

Patty (genuinely apologetic) Oh my god, ma'am, I am so sorry for crashing through your roof at 5am on a Wednesday morning… Could you please stop screaming? I don't want the neighbours to think someone's been murdered.

Indie Someone has been murdered! My husband is under your spaceship!

Patty Oh darn oh darn oh darn… Um, I don't really know first aid but I've seen that one House MD episode where House does surgery on his own leg in a bathtub, so I could try-

Indie No, no, absolutely not! I've been waiting for him to die for ages so I could study his internal organs for signs of extraterrestrial life! I wish you had killed him a little more neatly, but as an academic I'm used to working with what I've got.

Patty Oh…kay?

[knocking]

Butler Is everything alright in there, Mrs. First Lady?

Indie Everything is fine! My husband is alive and I have zero alien visitors! We're just trying something new in the bedroom!

Butler Pardon?

Indie BDSM!

Patty

(at the same time)

Remodelling!

Butler That sounds… Rather advanced.

Indie We've been experimenting with, uh, wallpaper play! You get some paste and a roller and then you-

Butler I don't need to hear the gory details, ma'am.

Indie Then give us some privacy!

Butler Does the Mrs. first lady project that she shall be finished in time for her scheduled flight, or shall I inform the astrophysics conference that you send your regards but you find yourselves rather… tied up? And unable to come?

Indie Oh, I'm sure we'll be done in seconds. You always are, aren't you, dear?

Patty Uh.

(trying to make her voice deeper)

Yes?

Butler Very well. I shall return in an hour to escort you to the airport.

[door closes]

Patty Mrs. First Lady?! Oh dear oh dear oh dear… Did I just-

Indie Yes, you just killed the president of the United States, a noble and charitable act that billions will thank you for. No need to brag about it. Can you pass me that scalpel?

[star spangled banner begins playing in the background]

Patty Please don't turn me in! I mean, I'd understand if you did, but it was really an accident and I don't want to go to jail and we all make mistakes when we're young and nobody actually liked him that much in the first place if you don't mind me saying so, Mrs. First Lady. I mean, I guess you're Miss First Lady Now, because I killed your-

[extremely loud incorrect buzzer]

maybe I should stop talking.

Indie Maybe you should. No, I'm not going to turn you in.

Patty So I can go? I'm really terribly sorry about your husband and all that, but I was kind of on my way somewhere when I ran out of fuel and dropped through your roof. Do you want money? I have money. It's really only about thirty bucks because I spent most of it on minecraft skins. Shoot.

Indie Are you stupid?

Patty Yes!

Indie Oh, good. That'll make it easier to convince you of my plan. Listen, random alien lady. You just killed the most valuable specimen in my collection and you're going to cost me several thousand dollars in roof repair, which is rude of you. The least you can do is put on this wig and pretend to be my dead husband so I don't have to miss my conference just to attend his boring funeral. Pretty please? By the way, you should think very carefully about this decision because I have some serious dirt on you.

Patty I see! The fake marriage gambit, where I sacrifice my dignity in the early game to gain a later advantage. That might have worked on me if I hadn't spent most of my life forced into a situation where the only opening I knew how to play was the hide in a closet defence! Send me to jail if you want, I will never pretend to be a man again!

Indie You don't have to. It gives us a better cover story, anyway. Why is the president suddenly twenty years younger and also a beautiful woman? That's just what estrogen does to a motherfucker. Here, put on his tie.

(in an enthusiastic voice)

Wow, the resemblance is non-existent!

Patty I do look good in a suit… And I do like free holidays… And you are threatening to send me to jail… Alright, fine. One condition, though!

Indie You're in no position to negotiate.

Patty

(unfazed)

I get to do an accent!

Indie No accents under any circumstance.

Patty Please? I always wanted to do theatre in high school but it clashed with chess club.

(doing a dubious Russian accent)

Hello, yes, it is me, the president of United State. Please direct me to your highly classified government secret.

Indie I want a divorce.

Patty We just got married! Hand me the wig.

[aeroplane announcement jingle]

Announcement Hey everyone, you're on a plane! That's pretty cool! There are, like, emergency exits, but I'm not sure where they are. Um, if the plane crashes, that's our bad and we're really sorry, but flying a plane is harder than it looks, okay? So before you get mad at us for dumping you into the pacific ocean, I'd like to see you try and pilot this thing. You couldn't even get it off the ground! So, yeah, think before you criticise others. Also, my aunt Martha runs a funeral home, so text your loved ones to tell them they can use the discount code PLANECRASH28 for 20% off your funeral arrangements. Just kidding, Martha doesn't do handouts. You're paying full price just like the rest of us lowly mortals. Thank you for flying with United!

[ending aeroplane announcement jingle]

Patty Whew. Man, going through customs is scary. I always feel like they're gonna find a bomb in my luggage. Good thing the worst thing I had in my bag was a jar of peanut butter.

Indie Tell me about it! I was so worried they were gonna hold us up because of the dead body in my carry on!

Patty The WHAT?

Indie Relax. I remembered to drain all the blood out beforehand, otherwise we would be way over the liquid limit.

Hey, stop looking at me like that. What was I supposed to do, just leave him there for the cleaners to find? I folded him up real neatly and tucked him in my backpack.

Patty

(Miserable sigh)

You have a plan for getting rid of the body, right?

Indie Of course!

Patty Then, I guess it's your move. I'm gonna nap for twenty hours. Wake me up when the refreshments come round, okay?

Indie Hey hey hey, nononono. This is my first time meeting an alien, and I need to collect data! Let's start with the basics. What's your name?

Patty Patty.

Indie My name is The Noble and Honourable First Lady of the United States Her Holiness Independence Day, but I guess you can call me Indie since we're married now. Where are you from?

Patty Porirua.

Indie Wow! What planet is that?

Patty Like, Wellington-ish.

Indie

(no idea where that is) Ah.

Patty Listen, I'm not even an alien. I just have purple hair and lacklustre social skills and a bad habit of finding myself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Indie You literally flew in on a spaceship! That's alien behaviour!

Patty It was my ex's spaceship.

Indie Were they an alien?

Patty Yeah.

Indie What type?

Patty Lesbian.

Indie Nice of them to let you borrow their spaceship.

Patty Yeah.

Indie Reeeeal nice.

Patty Yeah, it was.

Indie You stole it, didn't you?

Patty

(almost simultaneously)

I think it's time for me to ask you something.

Indie Oh? You want to know how I scored the president?

Patty How did you know?

Indie It's all anyone ever asks. No, "how was your day, Indie?" No, "can you tell me a fun fact about Jupiter's moons?" Only, "how do I find a man as rich and spineless as your husband?"

Patty He only lost his spine this morning. It's a recent development. I watched you reach in and pull it out.

Indie Semantics. Anyway, here's the story. Ever since I was a little kid I was always fascinated by space. I wanted to be an astrophysicist until I realised it was all math. Then I wanted to be an astronaut until I realised the food was shit. Finally my mom asked why I couldn't just get a degree in something sensible like art history, so to spite her I went to medical school and passed with all A's. I wanted to get a job doing alien autopsies, but when I brought it up at the hospital job interview the hiring staff got real quiet.

Patty Right.

Indie They suggested I seek psychological counselling and gave me a pamphlet. I suggested they seek medical attention and gave them a nasty bruise. As I was running from security, I glanced down at the pamphlet and was struck by a powerful vision!

Patty That's an interesting way of describing getting tased.

Indie No! It was a powerful vision of a gap in the research field! Nobody has ever studied the psychology of aliens!

Patty Let me tell you, they have some serious issues with emotional vulnerability.

Indie Is this about your ex-girlfriend again?

Patty

(lying)

No!

Indie Uh huh. Now, let me show you the one thing I learned from my degree. Put on these sunglasses.

Patty Huh? Okay.

[laser sound effect. Glass shattering.]

Patty Wow! The glare at people so hard their heads explode strategy! They banned that at most major tournaments after an incident in 2008. I think you killed the guy behind me.

Indie He'll be fine! Unless he isn't. Then he won't be fine. Anyway, I learned it from my thesis supervisor. It was the look she would give me everytime I dropped my work off on her desk. She would take a long sip of her coffee, remove her glasses, wipe them down with a cloth just in case what she was looking at was a streak of dirt instead of the culmination of my many years of educational struggle, read it again, then let the words sit with her for a second, then look me in the eye and tell me, "Miss Day, this is not a quasi-experimental study investigating the impact of parasocial engagement with an outgroup on reducing intergroup prejudice. This is the first draft of a science fiction novel, and you misused a semi-colon in paragraph five."

Patty Then what?

Indie Then I stormed out of her office and headed to a cafe on campus to drown my sorrows in overpriced coffee. And who did I lock eyes with across the room but future president of the United States, Beau Jiden himself!

Patty And he grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and you fell in love instantly?

Indie What? No. He was eating yoghurt with a fork, and I thought, "man, what a freak!" The only logical conclusion was that he must be an alien, so I took him out on a date to study him up close. My suspicions were confirmed when I took him to see The Thing and he spent the whole movie crying and shielding his eyes from the screen. I figured he must have felt really homesick, so I patted him on the back and let him throw up in my empty popcorn bucket. I didn't realise he was just some guy until four years into our marriage, and by then it was too late. If we got divorced, I'd have to admit to my thesis supervisor that she was right all along, aliens aren't real, and the psychology of boring old men has already been studied so extensively that there wasn't a single neuron in his brain I could wring a research paper out of. Oh, we're here!

Patty We still have over half of the flight to go.

Indie I told you I had a plan to dispose of the body, didn't I? See that lake down there? Now, you hold the bag while I-

[glass smashing]

[smooth jazz]

[static]

[classical music]

[static]

[short extract of somebody reading The Emperor of Ice-Cream by Wallace Stevens]

[static]

[heavy metal]

[static]

Reporter Tonight, our breaking story comes from 30,000 feet in the air, where the first lady Independence Day was sucked out of an aeroplane after an unexpected window failure reportedly caused by her smashing the glass with a brick. She was saved by her wife, president Beau Jiden, who is looking great these days, by the way. The president was able to grab her by the ankle and hold on tight until the plane could safely land. When we reached out for comment, the first lady, who was being treated by hospital staff for a dislocated shoulder, just said "whoopsies. My bad". The only other major casualty resulting from the incident was the loss of the first lady's luggage, last seen plummeting out the-

[static]

Asbestos But it doesn't say anywhere in the rule booklet that Chokeholds are prohibited!

Ham It's kind of an unspoken rule. Let go of Stanley!

Asbestos What about body slams?

Ham No!

Asbestos Double knee facebreakers?

Ham No!

Asbestos A tiny little eensy weensy spinning crucifix toss?

Ham Absolutely not! put him down!

Asbestos I'm going to write a strongly worded email to the inventor of Uno.

Ham I'm sure they'll be delighted to hear from you. Hey, do you see that?

Asbestos See what? Me throwing you out of the ship? Yeah, I see it in the not too distant future.

Ham No, falling towards us! It looks like a backpack!

Asbestos Open the hatch and catch it! There could be snacks inside! Ooh, or a bomb!

Ham I got it, I got it.

[thump]

[zipper]

Looks like it's just clothes and stuff. Ooh, and a jar of peanut butter! Does anyone have any allergies?

Asbestos Boring. Toss it back out.

Ham Wait, wait. There's a label. Do you know anyone named Patricia?

Asbestos

(laughing nervously)

I'm sure there are lots of people named Patricia. Give me that?

Ham Do you think the owner would mind if Stanley took this jacket? He thinks it's really cute.

Asbestos Whatever. Listen, I'm bored of Uno. Let's play Monopoly. Last man to lose both his kidneys wins!

Ham Sure, I mean who needs kidneys?

Asbestos That's the spirit!

[static]

[hospital equipment beeps]

Indie All in all, I think that was a resounding success!

Patty I would hate to encounter your interpretation of a devastating failure.

Indie Well, we got here in one piece-

(Patty coughs)

Mostly one piece, we dealt with our little problem with style and panache, and tomorrow I get to spend the whole day relaxing at the astrophysics conference while you're off playing golf with the prime minister of Australia.

Patty What?

Indie Oh, you thought we were here for fun? No. It's an election year, sweetheart. It's time to reaffirm some existing allyships and give the papers something to gossip about before the primary debates on Thursday.

Patty The what?

Indie Why don't you get some sleep before your big day tomorrow. I got the staff to bring in your stuff- your bag should be in the corner somewhere.

Patty If I had just remembered to fuel up before I left, I would be at the Idaho Potato Museum right now, admiring the-

Indie What? What is it? Hey, are you mad at me? Please don't be mad at me.

Patty Indie. We threw out the wrong bag. Your husband is in here, and he's starting to stink.

[beeps speed up and flatline]

Credits

Reporter Mrs president, do you have any response to the allegations that the voice of Independence Day is Jenny Wang, the voice of Patty is Monkozia, the voice of Asbestos Le Guin is Bulk, the voice of Hamuel Burger is Spikes, and the voice of this reporter is Dan Mac?

Patty

(doing The Accent again) Uh, well, that's, uh-

Reporter What about the damning claims that Jenny also voiced an airline announcement and Spikes also voiced a butler? Would you say this is indicative of the podcast's lack of budget or merely a testament to the incredible range of these talented performers?

Patty Um, can I say "no comment?"

Reporter Are you ever going to address the rising concerns of the general public that the editor of this podcast is Sarah, the episode art is by Bulk and the script is by Spikes?

Indie The president isn't taking further questions at this time!

(to Patty)

Come on, run!

#hamuel burger and the american dream #hamuel burger #hampod #transcripts

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writingwenches · 5 days

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Azure for Cinda Lannister:

2. Is your OC loyal to a particular nation, clan or social group? How far would they go in ensuring the safety and success of this faction?

4. Is your OC honest about their true loyalties? Or are they happy to feign belief in a cause or leader in hopes of material (or other) reward?

Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the delay! Work has been kicking my butt lately, thankfully i have this weekend off~

Lady Cinda Lannister —

Is your OC honest about their true loyalties?

Absolutely not~ The entire point of her character is having some underlying agenda that no one can really pin down. She will do whatever it takes to make people think whatever suites her best. You know what happens when you ASSume things about people. Writing her is playing a fun game of "is this too much?/is this really that big of a deal?"

Is your OC loyal to a particular nation, clan or social group? How far would they go in ensuring the safety and success of this faction?

This is spoilers for her character, but I don't care much about that because its going to take me forever to write this, and I like talking things through in the mean thing whoops. The Pact of Oldtown — I love listening to asoiaf lore theory youtube vids, and it really gets my muses fluttering~ The idea that Oldtown has been pulling strings in Westeros for thousands of years is so facilitating, and the idea of Targaryen conquerors coming in with flying fire lizards changed the game in a way few could have predicted. The Pact has been trying to rid the world of Dragons for centuries, they really aren't fair as far as humanity is concerned. I love human history, and 8,000 years ago on Planetos peoples were conquering and sailing and migrating around the world and tbh haven't evolved much since, 8k years ago on Earth...we hadn't figured out the wheel yet and now we have Late Stage Capitalism whoops. SO, the Pact basically thinks that "magic" and dragon-critters are stifling human progress. The Oldtown Pact has been running in the background for thousands of years, the Measters are mainly the ones pulling the strings for the Pact, but Septons and Lords and such have been invited to participate in bringing the downfall of dragons. Cinda is one of those lucky few ~Targaryen's beware of Lannister gold~ Cinda has grand plans to end the reign of Dragons and magic in the world, she will do anything to see it happen.

How far would they go in ensuring the safety and success of this faction?

LOL so, the "Freedom From" story is the bones of an original setting, and I'm leaning towards there being a portal to hell/magical world under the Great Castle in the Capitol (Red Keep in King's Landing), and at the end of ~book one~ of this story, Cinda explodes the castle, closing off the magical portal, as they flee to another continent...killing everyone inside/around it but...🤷🏻 In asoiaf/hotd universe, this would be the equivalent of Cinda exploding the dragon pit and killing all the dragons inside as they flee.

#oc: cinda lannister #ask games

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tulip-simp-artist · 10 months

Text

BG3 Spoilers for all the quests and big bosses of the game

So I've been reading people's thoughts on how while all of the villains in the game disliked/hated in some way, most have their odd charms that make people like them. All except Cazador, even though he isn't the most evil character in the game, for most of the fandom and how this might be tied to the way the fandom treats Astarion. And I do think that is part of it, but I think there is something else to it too.

So you are learning about Cazador through Astarion from Act 1. And he makes it very clear in Act 1 that if he could kill his master, he would. As a new player, it is pretty easy to then put Cazador on the "to be kill" list with little information on why he is so evil. Like, even if you just have Astarion as a companion and are playing a somewhat good character, you're likely to prepare to kill Cazador.

From here, you can learn more about him through Astarion, and that literally just adds reason to killing Cazador. You know he is not a good person and in a good aligned mind, killing him benefits more than just Astarion. It prevents Cazador from continuing to abuse people and make new spawn.

Now add on to the fact that Cazador is one of the only characters that you can give more than a "fuck you for treating my companion like shit" to. Cazador can be dealt with in the game and killed.

Look at Mizora, also learned about in Act 1, you get to actually meet her too, follows a similar path of learning more about her throughout the acts. Yet she isn't hated as much? Why? Because you can't get vengeance against her for trapping and manipulating 17 year old Wyll in a contract. You can't harm her. If you don't save her at Moonrise Towers, you are damning Wyll to the Hells. You have to play nice with her. You can hate her, sure. Even if you do free Wyll from his pact, you can't go stop Mizora from manipulating another poor soul into a contract.

Mystra? A literal goddess who the game does not let us touch. And keeps implying that if she dies, so does the weave. You don’t even get to sa fuck you to her face, you say it to Gale’s face and he's the one who's been told to kill himself. You also don't directly hear anything bad about her. Gale sugarcoats it for a long time.

Shar and Viconia? Well, again, much like Mystra, Shadowheart spents all of Act 1 and 2 praising them both. So neither are yet put in the "kill on sight" list because if you're a new player, you probably don't know if you can get Shadowheart to turn against them. One is again a goddess, who you can sort of say fuck you too, but she is petty enough where you may not want to. The other you only get implied information on what she may have done to your companion. So by Act 3 Viconia is probably on the list, but even I, my first play through, went in a bit blind to the abuse she put our cleric through. I learned for implications to that after I killed her.

Then there is Vlaakith, who again you know of in Act 1, but you aren't going to catch Lae'zel dead saying anything bad about her. You have to play your cards right when you do encounter her or else risk losing your companion. Which isn't too hard to do but is nerve-racking to do in a first play through... speaking from experience. Again the most you can do is say fuck you until you learn of Orpheus. Then it seems like you might be able to add her to the killing list, but then someone has to become a mindflayer and you don't get to see it happen.

Karlach has Zariel and Gortash. Zariel, you both hear is a terrible person and is a devil, so it goes without say. But it's pretty obvious that killing her is out of your league, and beyond that, Karlach wouldn't want to because that means going back to the Hells. Like I'm sure if she could she would, but maybe settling on a much of fuck yous and being out of Avernus is enough for now. Now Gortash, for one, you really only start learning about in Act 2. So you go into Act 3 knowing he is a part of the working of the Absolute and that he sold Karlach to Zariel. Not much else, but he automatically gets put on the list, assuming you don’t fall for his bargain. Act 3 is a bit disjointed with clear direction on how, where, and when you are supposed to learn ALL of the shit that man has done. I know I missed a lot and then kept learning things a bit out of order. Safe to say there are a lot of reasons you should kill him, but you're learning them from like 12 different sources and killing him can also just feel like necessity and getting Karlach vengeance is a bonus.

Ketheric isn't connected to any companion quests except maybe Minthara? Idk haven't played with her, so I can't speak to it. And Durge. Sure, you need to kill him to finish Halsin's quest, and obviously, Jaheira wants the man dead. But he is another one that the game just leads to you killing him. You need to kill him, whether you want to and go out of your way to kill him, doesn't really apply here.

Orin will only correlate with a Dark Urge quest. Otherwise, she is completely a needed kill to get her netherstone. Even a Durge run, we don't recall her betrayal until Act 3, and you don't directly learn more about said betrayal until fighting Orin. Like sure, as a player, if you read certain things, you can piece together that Durge was Bhaal's Chosen, but these can be missed, and your character won't know until Orin reveals it. That all aside, Orin isn't the really important villain of a Durge run. The important villain is Bhaal himself, and again, you can't actually touch him. You can reject him, but he kills you instead, and then bone grandpa brings you back. So again, falling in line with another character you can't get complete vengeance for because, well, a lot of these god-like beings....

So what we've got Cazador, Viconia, Gortash, and Orin? Two of which have to die? My point being that Cazador wasn't given a chance to be "liked villain". If you even slightly like Astarion/are just playing that good character, he is on the go out of our way to kill list before you know Ketheric is unkillable. From there, you probably aren’t going to want to hear him out because you've already committed to his death 15 hours into the game and it'll take you a good 70 more hours before you face him.

Again, I do, for the most part, think he doesn't make it as one of the many slightly likable big bosses because of Astarion fans just being... weird. And I love Astarion very much, but side-eye, and then scroll from a lot of his fan base. But also what I listed above is pretty close to how my first play through went. Cazador was the first on my list, and I tried to add the other characters that hurt my companions, but they kept getting taken off the list because I can't actually kill them in game -_-. Viconia was even killed before Cazador in the play through.

So yeah, I just wanted to offer a different perspective on the topic. Thanks for reading.

#bg3 #bg3 durge #bg3 astarion #bg3 dark urge #bg3 spoilers #bg3 tav #bg3 gale #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 karlach #bg3 wyll #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 gortash #bg3 orin #bg3 cazador #bg3 mizora #bg3 ketheric

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