#and i prefer to just watch someone else play story-heavy games?? bc i just want the story i dont wanna go through the gameplay myself

[transurgender]

literally everytime i look up a character to see who they were va'd by it always links back to persona 5 somehow. help me.

[mudwingpropaganda]

gimme your take on skywings bc 1) your take on mudwings is excellent 2) im writing a story that focuses on the skywing military and their employment of child soldiers and bread-and-circuses style of rule and 3) the skywings are so poorly designed and worldbuilt in canon

I LOOOOOVE the SkyWings. I’ve only recently fully understood the appeal of the tribe and after working on a few headcanons for them and Prince Cliff (pre-blog) I realized just how much sustenance they were lacking and how much they were deserving! I’d love to talk your ear off about what I have in mind.

SkyWings were once a tribe focused on music, theater, storytelling, and the arts. They prided themselves on their bards. They were known around the world as one of the most artistic tribes whose bands you simply HAD to have at your events, the sculptors you HAD to commission for your bust, the tribe you HAD to come to the parties of or else you simply haven’t lived. They were a tribe of merriment, festivals, games, and more. And don’t even get me started on their impressive air stunts and light displays, the fire dancers, and more. 

The SkyWings were close friends of the SeaWings, who loved to share this passion for the arts and exchange techniques, styles, and inspiration. It wasn’t until the SeaWing Massacre that this friendship became unsteady and nerve wracking, until they cut each other off - officially, sans a few independent artists - completely. 

In the grand scheme of things, the militarized SkyWings are a very new idea. It wasn’t until a few queens before Scarlet that the tribe aimed to display strength and firepower as opposed to inspiration and joy. And perhaps this is why these dragons are seen as more grumpy nowadays. They’re simply not in touch with their personal side and under Scarlet’s reign, they simply stagnated in creativity and individuality.  

Scarlet’s reign used her dragons as pawns for her master plans, instead of individuals who could improve their tribe. She was inspired by the elite theater productions her mother had taken her and her sisters to when she was young. So much so that she thought the drama, the fights, the bloodshed, oh, it simply HAD to be brought to reality. She relished in the emotional turmoil of pitting her citizens together, watching reality television in real life as her servants turned against each other for fear that they’d push each other onto Scarlet’s bad side. She threw dragons in her arena for the pettiest of crimes to watch them duel, with her daughter by her side, and her sons preparing and pleasing the crowds. 

This only ceased, somewhat, when the war struck. Oh, a war would simply bring so much entertainment for the arena. Scarlet organized the breeding program to further strengthen her dragons for war, children raised for battle, with more armored scales than the elder’s flexible scales made simply for flying. Dragonets without parents. Simply a duty to their tribe and to their throne. 

Ruby’s reign is going much better, to say the least. She’s trying to bring back the theater, music, and arts, with Vermillion taking lead in things such as opera and theatrics. Her son, Cliff, is taking massive steps in bringing back individuality, so much so, he rejected his responsibilities as Prince but uses their wealth for a plethora of creatively inspired organizations.

But Ruby’s rule still isn’t perfect. She’s trying hard to inspire the youth to take the steps to be individuals. But they were born soldiers. They were born to fight and survive for the throne, but there’s no more war to fight, and with no families to turn to and very little stability to take them in, the tribe is trying to rebuild to accommodate these dragonets with lost childhoods. 

As for appearances, SkyWings are comedically long, lanky dragons. They struggle participating in other tribes’ social spaces due to how long their spines, tails, and wings are, in comparison to their quite stumpy legs. They often walk like arched up cats or perpetually bent inchworms in order to get around on land. No wonder they prefer flying. SkyWings typically have beaks, talons, vents for their internal fire, and feathers. Though most dragons often burn their feathers by accident, those in higher positions such as royalty, merchants, or artists tend to have the cleaner, more elegant ruffs of feathers behind their ears. 

An important part of the SkyWings’ cultures are their horns. Their horns never stop growing as long as they’re alive and can bend in a number of intricate patterns, remain somewhat straight, or loop like rams until they’re stabbed by their own bones. But it’s gravely looked down upon to shave your horns or trim them down, regardless of how much they might irritate your scales or may weigh your head down. Elder SkyWings struggle to get through doors because of their pride in their heavy rack. Taking care of your horns is a priority in SkyWing culture. While women are always bigger than males, there is no discernable dimorphism between their horns. 

True SkyWings lacked armored scales. They were often very thinly protected by their soft scales with the texture of feathers, but as of the war, armored scales are more common, alongside inflated firepower. Firescales, in the reigns leading up to the war, were becoming more frequent due to the steady escalation of dragons with more intense fire. 

Speaking of firescales, I like to take this idea more literally and say that firescale SkyWings literally look like they are on fire. All SkyWings are capable of venting smoke from their scales if they feel a bit too intensely, but can control their internal fire. Firescales are incapable of this, and burst into flames with every heartbeat, every sense of emotion, and every feeling. To kill firescales dragonets was seen as a mercy. They could never be loved properly, they claimed, and their only destiny was destruction and death. 

In a similar idea, SkyWings killed animus dragons and firescales because they had a deep sense of self accomplishment. Being born with special powers was something they looked down upon, whether literally or socially. Everyone had to earn things equally, and no one could simply earn magic or the ability to set themselves on fire. These dragonets were killed on the mountain side, in the hopes they would be reborn anew. While recent queens forbade those who bore animus or firescale SkyWings, the parents were often encouraged to lay new clutches in hopes that their children would be reborn in their families. 

One other idea I’d like to add is the subset of SkyWings I’ve been playing around with. Mountain SkyWings are SkyWings who are essentially hermits, recluses, and loners of the dragon world. Derogatorily deemed “feral,” mountain SkyWings are individuals who live in the cave systems of their queendom, horde the treasures they find, and enjoy their territory in their lonesome. They chase off other dragons and grow so old that they frequently die in their own caves, unable to find their ways out due to their size, deteriorating vision, or simple exhaustion. 

Queen Scarlet prioritized reacquiring mountain SkyWings to “reintroduce them with a sense of nationalism,” but mostly because she simply wanted their hordes. Osprey was one of these dragons, an individual who had lived in the mountains his whole life, his scales rocky, spiked, and brittle, and was forced to join society as a standoffish, snappy SkyWing with a love of literature and law, looking for loopholes to get his treasures back. He unfortunately died before he could find a loophole from Scarlet’s “because I say so” judicial system, but found joy in giving Peril, a terrifying dragonet, someone to look up to, confide in, and talk to without going into full body trembles. 

[cloudravine]

I was tagged by @watermelonsugarhii to do two ask games, thanks so much darling! 😚💞🌸

Song titles

Rules: only using song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and tag 10 people

Artist: Howard Shore (composer of the LOTR/Hobbit soundtracks)

What’s your gender? A Very Respectable Hobbit

How are you feeling? Hope and Memory

If you could go anywhere? Lothlórien

Favourite mode of transportation? The White Rider

Your best friend? Samwise the Brave

Favourite time of day? Evenstar

If your life was a tv show? The World is Ahead

Relationship status? May It Be

50 questions you’ve never been asked

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? purple

2. A food you never eat? a couple of vegetables I don’t like (tomato, onion, bell pepper, olive) if I can avoid it + all seafood except for fish

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? always too cold! ❄️

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? getting out of the shower and making breakfast

5. What is your favourite candy bar? not sure they count, but Reese Peanut Butter Cups and Caramilk <3

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? I think once to a boring soccer game shfgjs

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? something about my cat being annoying, cause she’s asked to go outside 3-4 times today and every time I open the door for her she changes her mind smh 😂

8. What is your favourite ice cream? that changes according to my mood of the moment, but usually very dessert-y stuff like cookies & cream, cookie dough and blueberry pie 😍 

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? drinking water atm

10. Do you like your wallet? yes, it’s a Hobbit one I’ve had for a few years and it’s perfect for me in terms of practicality and aesthetics 😌

11. What was the last thing you ate? two peanut butter toasts for breakfast

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope, haven’t bought any new clothes in a long while actually

13. The last sporting event you watched? probs some bits of ice hockey while watching TV with my step-dad (yes I know, very cliché for Canada haha) 

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? where I live we mostly eat salted popcorn with butter, and that’s the one I like the most

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my very good friend Paweł 💜🌈

16. Ever go camping? not so much anymore, but I really like it and have been wanting to plan a camping trip with friends for a while! 🤗

17. Do you take vitamins? no, I tried taking multivitamins recently but it wasn’t doing it for me

18. Do you go to church every sunday? absolutely not fhdsgf, I only ever go to church for special occasions and/or concerts

19. Do you have a tan? nope haha

20. Do you prefer chinese food or pizza? both, please don’t make me choose 😭

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? I try not to drink anything with a straw bc it gives me stomachaches rip

22. What colour socks do you usually wear? all sorts of colourful stuff with funky patterns (unicorns, flamingos, cats, etc.)

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I havent driven a car in like 5 years or something sfhsdg, but back then I don’t think I did

24. What terrifies you? lots of stuff which might be too heavy for this ask game: pain, loneliness, the cruelty and stupidity of human nature, the destruction of our planet... 😪

25. Look to your left, what do you see? a window giving to a little tree on the side of our house 🌳

26. What chore do you hate? cleaning the shower/toilet bye

27. What do you think of when you hear an australian accent? my mind’s literally blank hahaha

28. What’s your favourite soda? Crush Orange I think

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? depends, sometimes I like to take food away with friends and eat it somewhere nice outside 💞

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? my step-dad

31. Favourite cut of beef? none, I’m not crazy about meat tbh :/

32. Last song you listened to? Rita Ora & Liam Payne - For You (One World: Together at Home performance) 💛

33. Last book you read? I’m currently reading Ut og stjæle hester by Per Petterson and The Story of Kullervo by J. R. R. Tolkien 🌸 

34. Favourite day of the week? Friday/Saturday

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? mmm maybe, but only with a lot of concentration 😅

36. How do you like your coffee? non-existent lmao

37. Favourite pair of shoes? haven’t had nice shoes in years rip so idk :(

38. At what time do you normally go to bed? 10-11 PM

39. At what time do you normally get up? 6-8 AM

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunrise ☀️

41. How many blankets are on your bed? one fluffy blanket

42. Describe your kitchen plates? white with nice textured borders, got them together with my mum a few months ago!

43. Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? MEAD SDGFGSHJ I love feeling like a badass Viking 💁

44. Do you play cards? not often enough

45. What colour is your car? I don’t have one, but my parents’ cars are blue and red

46. Can you change a tire? haahahaha that’s a hilarious question 😂

47. What is your favourite state/province? well to answer for my own country I’d definitely go with my province aka Québec 😊✨

48. Favourite job you’ve ever had? working at the city library

49. How did you get your biggest scar? don’t really have any scars

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? it’s 9 AM so haven’t had a lot of time to do that yet haha, but maybe promise my mum I was gonna make lunch today?

I’m tagging @technicallysideacc @amantisegreti @sunflowrhaz @softlikelou @hiccoops @vilounelle @ireallysawanangel @tobeakingbesideyousomehow @jungkookofficials @loveisbraveryx @winteraell @marrymybed to do whatever part of this you want 🌷💚

[angelicorn]

FFVII Remake Analysis Chapter 1 (1/2)

My sister was introduced to FFVII via my gameplay and reacted to it with fresh eyes which I’ve written down and posted to tumblr up to chapter 5–which I will continue posting some time in the future (I finished the game, but have looked towards another project in place of the reactions) The past couple weeks, she’s been playing the game while we stop every so often to dissect and analyze the mediums used in this game for story telling purpose. We analyze the music, blank/negative spaces, lighting, camera angles and shots, the introduction of characters, using characters to reveal information/reveal to us the lack of info the players know, etc.

Everyone is free to their own opinions. We just wanted to share our thoughts and understanding of the story and its characters through the use of rhetorical appeals found in the game that push towards a common narrative that all players of this game can agree on—what FFVII’s story is about. We are free to our own interpretations and preferences. The plot devices and rhetoric strategies used in this game are there for specific reasons and this is our (me and my sister’s) take on that. We hope you enjoy this lengthy analysis.

Spoilers, for those who have not yet played the game.

When you begin the new game, you’re introduced to dry and barren land. The first sign of life we see is a bird flying across the sky and towards a bleak looking city. The scenery is washed out with hues of gray, black, etc.—the city is filled with people in contrast to the rocky terrain we saw prior, but it still seems dry and barren in a different sense. The flowers aren’t even growing. A reflection of a washed out greenish light reflects in the eyes of a child playing at a park and it’s coming out of something steel and man-made. It doesn’t look welcoming—it looks ominous. The brooding music and the way this pale light doesn’t illuminate everything around it, but rather makes everything else in comparison, darker, tells us so.

The scenes fades to black and we are next shown a mysterious nameless girl who is perched in front of a pipe(?) with the same glow that we saw coming from the reactor in the last scene. She opens her eyes and the camera cuts to a side view of her. We don’t see her expression, but we see the green glow of the pipes flicker almost as if it’s conversing with her. We see a yellow flower and it’s a a call back to the dead flower growing by the curb in the earlier scenes. It makes us question whether the green glow is something that’s alive and not meant to be harvested to an extent that the flowers are dying. She stands up and looks away from the screen into something unknown to the viewers. We’re further intrigued. Maybe she isn’t meant to be near the green glow? We don’t yet know.

She walks out into the street and bumps into someone who doesn’t even apologize or excuse himself. She drops a few of her flowers. A woman glances at her but no one helps this girl. A man even tramples on one of her flowers. We don’t see her face, but she picks it up with two hands—she’s carrying it like it’s something precious to her. Yes—this steel city is empty of greenery similarly to the way most people depicted are empty of compassion towards life (the environment)

She looks towards the sky and we are left with a lot of questions as to what she is to this story we are embarking on. The camera pans out to a large city enclosed within walls and divided into sections like a pizza—a telltale sign of a society being controlled by a higher power/hierarchy. The sound of drums, wind instruments and the brass instruments gradually become louder and louder until a streak of pale green light shoots across from the upper right corner and strikes the middle of the screen like a meteor. The logo appears to the sound of brass instruments and drums overpowering the score and this crescendo marks the beginning of an epic journey: Final Fantasy VII Remake.

The music gradually quiets down and we pan closer and closer into another section of the city with cuts of a moving train and a mysterious man with a large sword on his back perched on top of this train. We can’t help but wonder why he isn’t inside the train like a normal person and we‘re left to wonder if he’s trying to sneak in undetected. The train slows down to a stop in front of 2 grunts whose faces we can’t see. A closer look at the train—it doesn’t look like it’s meant for people to ride in. It looks like a heavy duty train that’s meant to transport things.

The grunts get their asses handed to them by three characters that are introduced. They’re wearing attire that’s a bit similar to each other so we get the feel that they’re acting as a 3-man unit/team. The camera pans to a big guy with shades and a metal cylinder arm. The guy looks intimidating and to be quite honest, sketchy. Is he supposed to be a good guy or a bad guy? We’ll have to play on to find out.

The three headbands wait for this big guy to give the signal and when he gives them the ok with a head nod, they nod in understanding and turn around to get to their destination.

“Get down here, merc.” The first line is spoken by this big guy whose name flashes on the screen as Barret.

We see the same man with the big sword riding atop the train from before as he back flips onto the scene and coolly looks up at the viewers in true protagonist/hero fashion and this is where we know without a doubt, we are definitely going to be playing as this mysterious, fellow. The striking eyes and spiky-hair tells us so (lol).

The story begins in the middle of all this action. We don’t know this guy’s name, why we’re working for Barret or what their objective even is yet, which leaves a unique way of storytelling by piecing information together. We rely on characters around us and our interactions with them to figure out just wtf is going on.

I wanted to note that the music is quick paced while the brass carries a low melody which, together, evokes a sense of urgency and covertness. We get an idea that perhaps we will be infiltrating this place. Also, the chapter of the title clues us in on what we’re doing. We’re destroying a reactor—a source of energy—which we can safely assume is that green stuff shooting out of that structure from the intro and that it is supplying this walled city with power/electricity.

The player has control of this character and, as Barret puts it, “you’re up” and made to engage in a battle with the same type of grunts as before, all in tutorial fashion. We learn that this man’s name is Cloud. We learn from the first few battles that Cloud is a cocky little shit swordsman based on his scripted dialogue between himself and the grunts. (The grunts warn him that they’ll shoot if he moves and he challenges them with the line, Go ahead.) Our first level up isn’t level 1, it’s level 7, and he already has a few abilities and a spell, plus different fighting modes, so we know he’s has some kind of fighting experience already. 

Additionally, the fighting modes are called Operator mode and Punisher mode. These are words that evoke a lack of autonomy. Operator suggests that a person must do something to make a tool or system function properly. Cloud is a tool to make another tool work. Punisher suggests that a person is inflicting damage, pain, death, etc.towards people who have committed grave crimes/sins —someone who takes away someone else’s autonomy.

We learn more about our main man through the other characters. Jessie and Biggs’ conversation reveals his full name, Cloud Strife, and that he was a SOLDIER which is stylized in all caps in the subtitles showing us that it may be more than just a title or occupation in this game. Biggs describes him as a professional in comparison to the rest of them. Professional in what specifically? He was trained to fight, what with all the abilities and fighting styles he has at this point. That leaves us with the question: what is a SOLDIER exactly, and why isn’t he a SOLDIER anymore?

His interaction with Wedge tells a lot about his character and gives us insight as to what the situation is and what his relationship to them is. Wedge gives a thumbs up—no words from Wedge—yet Cloud is moved to say this is a one time “gig” emphasizing his role as a mercenary and he reiterates it by saying when the job is done, their connection between himself and their group will also end. From a storytelling standpoint, this interaction leads us to separate ourselves emotionally from the rest of the group. To Cloud—the player—this is just another day at work.

Jessie and Biggs continue to talk about the player character, but you cannot interact with them at this point. As you approach Barret, he pushes you aside to watch over Jessie and Biggs. We get a stronger impression that Barret is a team leader of some sort—one that doesn’t seem to approve of your presence. Does that have anything to do with being a former SOLDIER?

Cloud isn’t interested in what Wedge thinks. Cloud is aloof and kinda fuckin’ rude. We wonder what made him this way?

Barret warns Cloud that he’d better be worth the money. He doesn’t even call him by his name. He calls Cloud merc, which further puts emotional distance between the two.

The fact that the player is left behind to fight the baddies alone while the rest make their way forward creates a distance between them as well. Cloud is working for them—not with them. A job’s a job.

Cloud takes the elevator alone and enters an area where we see Wedge is left behind while the rest of the group tells you to hurry and to pick up the pace.

As the player, I personally was annoyed that they aren’t more appreciative. I can’t keep up with you guys bc I’m left behind doing all the fighting keeping all of you from harm. However—fighting is what’s expected of the player—that’s what we were hired to do, right? I’m just being salty bc my efforts aren’t being noticed the way I want. Here, I feel inferior.

If you choose to interact with Wedge before going further, he tells you he will secure an escape route, asks you to keep his friends safe, and not to worry about him. Cloud may not give two shits yet, but as the player, I’ve begun to form an emotional attachment to Wedge. This guy is so caring! Cloud’s cold personality does not sway him! HOW can I not like Wedge?

We join up with the others and Barret asks him for directions to get to some bridge above mako storage. He then goes on in an increasingly aggravated manner and asks Cloud if he’s still a “loyal little doggy”. We can draw several conclusions from from this dialogue.

1. Cloud was once affiliated with some kind of power/company/force in opposition to Barret & co.

2. We are made to believe that Cloud left this company some time before for reasons we do not yet know.

2. Cloud was hired to help them infiltrate a building belonging to this opposing entity.

3. Barret’s lack of trust in Cloud correlates to his former affiliation with the opposing entity.

4. Mako is a source that this opposing entity has in possession. This building is huge. They must have quite a lot of it.

We are left with several questions about this character we are playing.

1. What is his objective?

2. What are his morals?

3. Where does his loyalty lie?

We lack this information, but we do know that Barret does not fully trust him because he’s a former enemy. So, can we trust Cloud too? Is he credible? Is he speaking the truth? Should we believe what he says? What if he’s a double agent? We have to play on as this character to find out.

Cloud experiences some kind of headache at the mention of “loyal little doggy” and it feeds us the idea that maybe he’s negatively triggered by it because it reminds him of something traumatic. This may be a clue that explains the reason for his departure from SOLDIER.

Barret calls him a mutt and exclaims “we can do this with you or we can do this without you.”

Cloud recovers from his headache and responds calmly. “Different reactor, different layout, depends when it was built. Never seen one like this, but I’ll manage.”

Barret’s use of “we” and “you” followed by Cloud’s “I” creates more of a separation between them.

Biggs gets the door open, but not for long. Cloud enters first—alone—Barret reaches his hand forward and shouts “wait!” and Cloud is left to fight alone while the others are locked outside of the room. When the fighting is over, Jessie chirps happily as she enters the room and makes a flirtatious comment which Barret tries to quickly shut down (lol).

Jessie gets this new door to open with her knowledge of passcodes through a friend. No one else at command will talk to them, but they must make due.

Now we know that this small team is a part of a bigger force, however, there isn’t a sense of unity as the command won’t socialize with this team specifically. Why though?

Biggs tells Jessie to be careful to which she responds with a smile. Cute moment showing Biggs’ concern and Jessie’s optimism/confidence—traits that may help us to understand their motivations and nature’s little more in the upcoming chapters.

If you talk to Barret, the first thing he tells Cloud is to be ready for the increasing security. “We can’t afford any more mistakes.” And he includes Cloud in this “we” this time around. It’s a subtle way for Barret to say they are a team and they should be working together. It also subtly reveals Barret’s soft and caring side. Classic soft teddy bear in a grizzly bear’s skin. You care, Barret—and the players care about you too, regardless what Cloud says.

Before getting into the elevator, Jessie asks about someone named Tifa and though it isn’t any of her business, she wonders if she and Cloud are close which is italicized to give an important emphasis on their relationship. Here, Jessie separates herself from the relationship between Cloud and Tifa, yet her interest in their relationship plus the flirting and comments on Cloud’s appearance hints that she may be interested in him ins romantic sense.

We hear and see a new name and for new players to the FFVII franchise, it’s common for people to consciously try to connect that name to a character. Tifa...Tifa... who is she? Why is Jessie asking Cloud about her? Wait, was Tifa the one who hired Cloud? Oh, is she the pink girl we saw in the intro?

The flashback sequence is important because it affirms to us that the pink girl from the intro is not Tifa, but an entirely different character. It is also worth noting that before the flashback, Cloud looks away from Jessie and willingly tries to remember Tifa. This flashback juxtaposes the quick flash of memories and migrain he receives when Barret calls him a loyal doggy. Those memories cause him pain when he remembers even bits and parts of it. The memories with Tifa are...well, we don’t quite know what they are to him yet, but there’s a stark contrast between how Cloud reacts towards the two memories.

The flashback reveals a town that doesn’t look like the city streets of the intro. We are experiencing this flashback through Cloud’s eyes. He looks at this tower hears Tifa call his name, and there we see she is surrounded by other boys. His focus jumps back and forth between her back to her surroundings. He turns away and Tifa asks if he is ignoring her. He focuses on her displeased face again and that is the last thing we see before the flashback ends—everything else in the background gets washed out with a pale green hue except for Tifa’s face. A hue of red is the only vibrant color left, and it’s centered on her face—we cut back to Cloud, and I don’t know if this the lighting effect was intended, but the red color on Cloud’s face is emphasized against a washed out background for a brief moment as well before the pale green hues face back into the regular color scheme. We also here what sounds like a heartbeat within the sharp static sounds? And so what are we left to think about this scene?

The music, mostly string instruments are played in a minor key that evoke mystery, nostalgia, and a sense of meekness. Tifa is the only one waving to him while the other boys rarely move an inch.

In the English version, he lifts his right hand with his palm open, a gentle gesture, and says “Tifa and I...” before he’s interrupted with the elevator buzzer.

We’re left with a sense that Tifa is someone from his childhood—a cute girl who is evidently popular among the other kids. The flashback initially leads us to think he wasn’t interested in being her friend as a child or that he was too shy/felt too inferior to all the boys hanging around her to accept her invitation...? The focus on Tifa’s face in his flashback, the redness in his face, followed by the subtle heart beat hints at a crush and that perhaps he may have been jealous/inferior to the other boys around her—thus, his hesitation when trying to explain his relationship with Tifa to Jessie.

An interesting fact that I noticed outside of my sister’s play through and discussions, the Japanese version has Cloud saying “oretachi” to refer to himself and Tifa. I looked into it, and basically—he’s trying to make himself seem more masculine and confident while also revealing that the relationship between he and Tifa is informal—implying that they are close.

It also shows subtle feelings of inferiority. He had to refer to himself like that to establish his masculinity right after a flashback with Tifa being surrounded by other boys. Way to be subtle about his feelings!

The English version, while less obvious, hints at his crush on Tifa in a different sense. The way he says “Tifa and I...” is a little less deep than how he usually speaks. Vocalization, hand gestures, facial expressions, music, and lighting and colorization in this short scene reveal a lot about Cloud’s feelings. His shyness in remembering this flashback reveal something tender in relation to this friend of his.

Just a fun fact that I personally wanted to share. For the sake of this analysis however, I won’t be talking about the Japanese dialogue and will only be referring to the English localization from this point on. Just wanted to share this info as it blatantly points towards Cloud’s characterization so early on in the story.in comparison to the English version.

Also note: the distance between Jessie and Cloud before the flashback and after. Jessie inches closer to Cloud and is the active participant in trying to close the distance between them, while Cloud stands still—a reflection of Cloud’s characterization and his relationship to others at this point. He’s seems to be socially stunted. While everyone else is trying to get closer to him, he’s emotionally and mentally not ready to make that connection.

There is so much to dissect in every chapter, but I’ve reached the image attachment limit and will continue this another time with screenshots attached as I believe it’s important to examine visual mediums while also providing images that are being examined in an analysis. 

So... to be continued in another post... stay tuned.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #225

“i tried to write your name in the rain, but the rain never came.”

How many times a day do you check your cell to see if you have a text? Considering my dumb phone doesn't let me know I have texts half the time, I do multiple times throughout the day. Ever wonder if the person you hate will become the person you marry? HA HA YOOOOOOOOOOOO SARA AND I DID AND NOW I DEADASS WANNA MARRY HER TOMORROW How many times a day do you wash your hands? It varies. After I use the bathroom or if I'm about to touch food. You walk in on your parents smoking pot, what do you do? lol h u h How old were you when you had your first crush? Hell if I know. I do remember as a young kid though, I was very much "ew boys no thnx." Maybe like... 5th grade? When was the last time you asked God for something? A long, long time ago. Your opinion on smoking: Just don't, dude. It's money going towards gradual suicide. No one likes the smell. You sure won't like how it affects your body. It's an addiction/it's stressful to stop. I'm not gonna like, judge you if you smoke, but nevertheless, I'll tell anyone it's an awful idea. Make love or fuck? It depends on the mood. I was more into the former mood back when that even applied to me, though. Have you ever cried so much over something that later felt like nothing? Oh, I can assure you I have. The last time you were afraid of the dark was: I'm not really scared of the dark, but one time I got up semi-recently in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and after one incident, I was so, so careful and nervous to step on Bentley's tail. He lost his fucking mind on me when I did it once, of course on accident. The TV was off by this point, so I couldn't see well at all. I love having a dog that fucking scares me. How often do you say I love you to your parents and mean it? A whole lot. Your boyfriend/girlfriend say they can’t hang out & it’s been two weeks. You? I mean sure, it sucks, but if they're legitimately busy, they're busy. Have you ever wanted a wild animal for a pet? If yes what animal? I had a phase where I really wanted a fox, and now I am DEAD serious about fostering opossums at some point. When you go to sleep, do you have to have white noise or silence? SILENCE. Though I don't really get /total/ silence 'cuz I have to have my fan on. My room's always hot. Have you ever gotten in a fight with a teacher? No. Ever had a creepy dream about a teacher? No. Where were you when you had your first sleepover? Your house or a friends’? I believe I was at my then-best friend's house. I had suuuuch bad separation anxiety from my mom that I know I was older than most kids who did. What are you limits for doing stuff for money? I'd never do sexual favors or seriously hurt someone for it. Is there someone you are mean to all the time for no reason? No. I'll admit I'm typically rather short with Bentley, but Jesus, do I have reason. When you think of love what’s the first that comes to mind? Sara. How do you calm your mind and find peace when you are stressed? My best bet is going to sleep; that's pretty much, usually, my reset button. Have you ever given someone flowers? I gave Jason flowers once or twice. I gave my mom some for Mother's Day as a kid. How often do you get on Facebook? A couple times a day... mainly just to see memes lmaoooo. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? Good Lord, Tuesdays. I'm at school for 13 hours. Mostly sitting in the library waiting for classes, but. I do study a whole lot, though, and it's when I get a bunch of schoolwork done. Is there a place that you will never return back to? Idk. When was the last time that you created a PowerPoint? I'm actually working on/off one for FYS 'cuz we have to do this "Lifeline" thing where we introduce ourselves and give our stories. Guess who's not fucking ready. Do you like group work? NO. NO. Particularly if it's with people I don't know. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Is music or the TV on while you complete this survey? I'm listening to Chase Holfelder's cover of "Kiss The Girl" rn. Does your grass need cut currently? No. Do you listen to Nirvana? Occasionally. What color are the doors in your house? White. Have your friends ever not wanted you to be with someone? Probably. What is your favorite use for whipped cream? I hate that stuff. What is your favorite flower? Orchids. And your favorite nut? Ew no thanks. Can you curse in a foreign language? Of course I know "fuck" and "shit" in German lmao. Are you fond of spaghetti? Hell yeah man. Have you ever played in the mud? I sure did zoom through it on my bike as a kid. Do you remember what your first real relationship felt like? That relationship ultimately led to PTSD, how could I possibly forget. Who can make you happy no matter what? Sara, Mark, and Game Grumps are particularly good at that. How tall are you? 5'4.5'' Are there any animals near you? No, I'm at school rn. Do have a lot of lists? No. Are you a godparent? No. Do you sleep too much or not enough? Eh, it depends on the day and my mood. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? Yep. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? Never been on one before. Do you think having a bad temper is a sign of immaturity? I mean, no? It's an interesting question and I guess a "maybe," but. I feel this depends on the trigger. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? I was a fucking yoga master babe in 9th grade, fuckin fite me. When growing up, did your parents keep the house very tidy? I guess? It wasn't dirty. How many watches do you own? Zero. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? Political views, I guess? Or the fact I'm bi? I only know of one person in my extended family that's gay. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? No shit? Emergencies are a thing? BUT, respect the teacher, please. I cannot stand people using their phone in class, especially here in college. You're paying a shitload to learn. Spend that time as you're supposed to. Take education seriously. If your phone's on vibrate for said emergency situations, that's cool. Do you have any gay relatives? Lol oh. Yeah, Mom has a cousin. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Yeah. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? I deleted my sister's mother-in-law in fury over her homophobia because I've seriously had it, then just a few days ago actually I went through my Facebook list deleting people I just didn't really feel connected to/didn't really care to follow their journey anymore. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? Zero. Do you know what your vocal range is? It's not broad. I'd say I'm probably in a rank slightly lower than most women. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I've never really been in the position to be capable of that. I've never had a source of income. If so, what sub-genres of metal do you like the best? Probably heavy. Or symphonic, though I haven't found too many artists in that sub-genre that I really enjoy. But BOY, when I do? I will BINGE that shit to the ends of the earth. Have you ever turned down someone who didn’t handle the rejection well? Ha ha oh man, I remember in 4th grade, this kid Nick was desperate to date me. It was endearing and cute, but he asked kinda obsessively. Then jfc, when I broke up with Tyler, you would've thought I was Jason and he was me, holy shit. How large is your largest scar, and what is it from? Well, I can't see it, so I actually don't know. I guess kinda long, but not wide. It's from a cyst removal surgery. Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? Omg, my Writing teacher. She really liked my writing on my essay. I was so flattered. When was the last time you went for a walk? Like, just a casual walk for the sake of walking? Not since I was at Sara's last. That was when my muscle atrophy was starting to get extremely bad though and I was very close to death omg. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? I don't think so. When cooking a meal, do you clean up as you go or wait til you’re done? I don't know how to cook. Do you develop crushes easily? NO. I am soooooo romantically picky. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? A month or more with Colleen after we were evicted. That was a really good time, honestly, regardless of how we feel about each other now. I don't think anyone's done something so selfless for me, and we really did have fun. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? I'd say it was normal for someone that age. Do you like salsa that has fruit in it? NO. Do you think stained glass windows are pretty? Hell yeah. That was my favorite thing about the church I grew up with; Catholic churches tend to truly have incredible stained glass. Are you scared of snakes? Nope, snakes are Baby. Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? No; I only have two, and I just slightly have enough room for them. Do you like hard or soft pretzels better? I strongly prefer soft. Have you ever been carded when buying something? Yes. Do you eat meat? Regretfully. Can you sleep with the light on? NOOOOOOOOOO. I have to truly be exhausted. Have you ever broken a bone? No, but I did fracture my wrist as a kid. Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class? Bitch I wish, tf. Do you use the microwave often? Considering a bitch can't cook, yes. Microwavable meals are the reason I am alive. Have you ever painted a room? No. What’s in your copy and paste? This survey. Do you know anyone that’s painfully, socially awkward? Fuckin ME JFC. How do you usually pose in your pictures? With the left side of my face facing the camera (bc my hair kinda swoops over the right side), and I'll usually smile with my teeth or do a :D face bc at least I look happy instead of high with my squinty-ass eyes. :') Do you know anyone that absolutely freaks out if you try to take a picture of them? um????????? me?????????????? Do you pick on them for it and attempt to take loads of pictures anyway? If someone doesn't want me to take a picture of them, I absolutely don't push them 'cuz I totally get it. How’s your posture? Bad. Have you ever had to take care of a fake baby in family ed? Thank God in Heaven no. I. Would. Have. Raged. ^ were you a good mother/father? N/A What’s your favorite way to wear your hair up? My hair is too short for that. But I generally find french braid buns SO pretty. Have you ever read a ‘banned’ book? Uh, I don't think so. What does your screen name mean? Favorite animal, meerkats, + favorite artist, Ozzy Osbourne. Have you ever had to take a sobriety test? N- no wait. They were mandatory when I've gone to the ER for suicidal thoughts. Do you like movies more if they’re based on actual events? It doesn't really matter to me. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done with your cell phone? Idk, dropped it? What’s your opinion on gold diggers? Selfish, or smart? Both? Uh, I don't think it's exactly debatable to call it selfish... I mean, you're dating for the sake of monetary gain...? What would you do if your bf/gf was hitting on someone else right in front of you? I couldn't even try to picture her doing that, but obviously I'd be uncomfortable and jealous. What’s something you’ve done that you’ve sworn you’d never do? Idk, multiple things. Which ex of yours do you talk to the most? I only talk to Girt. Can you recall the first person you ever drank/got drunk/high with? I drank with family, probably, but I've never reached the point of being drunk, and I've never been high. ^ are you still friends? I mean, I love my family. Have you ever taken someone else’s vehicle without permission? No. What were you doing the last time you were videotaped? *shrugs* Is that something you’d be comfortable uploading and sharing? I don't know what it would be. Which friend wears the same size clothes as you do? Probably none? I don't have many friends to compare to. Is there anyone’s wardrobe that you’d like to steal? UM Suzy Hanson is a B A B E? ?? ? ? ??? I adooooorrrrre her clothing line (Psychic Circle), too, and so wanna buy something. Have you ever been lost in the woods? DARLIN I've watched The Blair Witch Project 2 much for that shit. What did you last stretch the truth about? Idk. Have you ever had withdrawals from something? Caffeine, and then WoW for quite a few months after I stopped playing for like, a year or more. Is there anyone on your friend’s list you know next to nothing about? I know at least one of Mom's friends that I've only met once, and briefly. How old is 'too old’ for you to date? I wouldn't date over 30 (I absolutely stg that has nothing to do with H I S age being 30 lmaoooo). How do you feel about guys in tight jeans? Skinny jeans look good on like, anyone. Favorite hour-long show? Uhhh idk. Well, at least out of the shows I used to like and would be most interested in watching, The Good Doctor. Favorite half-hour show? Meerkat Manor. Most people who’ve slept over at your house all at once? My current house? Just one, I think. Steak or chicken? Chicken. I'm piiiiickyyyy w/ steak. Is flirting really cheating? Yes, if you're clearly not just teasing. What’s something you own that’s /only/ of sentimental value? My pebble from my partial hospitalization program. What’s your choice of chips? Girrrrrllll gimme Cool Ranch Doritos. What song would you use to torture someone? i t ' s  f r i d a y  f r i d a y What is the weirdest compliment you have ever received? Probably that my nose was cute? If someone REALLY fat was upset, and saying how FAT they were, what would you say? First off, NOT say "you're not fat omg ur beautiful." I'M overweight and don't like when people say that. I'm perfectly aware that you're lying "for my own sake," which is sweet, but it's not helpful. Motivate me/the person to improve without being an asshole. Let them know I believe in them, which I do for ANYONE. If I could lose 60-70 pounds in a year, anyone can. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a kid say? So when I was very little and my mom gave me orange juice, I freaked out because it had pulp in it. And what did I say? "I CAN'T DRINK THAT IT HAS NIPPLES IN IT" look idk don't ask but boy does Mom love sharing that story. A random stranger walks up to you and says 'you’re hot’. You say: Most likely "go away." Possibly "thank you, but please go away." Actually yeah, that's more likely. Like it's flattering to know someone finds you attractive, but yeah, that's just uncomfortable for some stranger to do that. I also wouldn't want to really piss the person off. Do you send messages on Facebook a lot? Definitely not. Almost the only person ever would be Girt. Have you ever gone to a strip club? No. Not my kinda scene. Like I absolutely will not think less of someone who does this, but I just don't like but moreso feel bad for men or women who reduce themselves to their sexual capabilities. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? Hell nah man. Pizza is supreme. What color is your watch? I'm not wearing one. I never do. Do you believe in love at first sight? Absolutely not. Visual attraction, of course that's real, but I promise you dear, you don't love someone upon looking at them. When you eat Frosted Flakes, do you add sugar in it? I hate that stuff. Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Ashley's father-in-law's mom. ... At least I think that's what she is? Do you want to change your name? Nah, it's fine. Have you ever tried to erase someone from your memory? Of course I have.

[whatifididsomethingnew]

Take Your Medication

I’m a college freshman in my second semester. I’ve been struggling with depression and ADHD for who knows how long, but I was diagnosed(i think? idk if it was official) in my freshman year of high school and given medication for it sometime in my senior year.

I didn’t take the medication very often. I started off strong, taking the ADHD medication especially to get me through classes and make sure the dosage lasted me to sixth period, my worst class at the time. But over the summer I stopped because I decided that the positive effects didn’t make up for the side effects: a lack of appetite and dry mouth.

Below the keep reading is my experience with mental illnesses and medication. It’s long. tl;dr If you have access to medication, take it. It helps. And make sure the dosage is right for you

 I’ve never been a bad student. Aside from failing algebra 2 in freshman year (ive never been good at “advanced” math, it was an IB class so even worse, and even better students agreed that the teacher was awful), I’ve gotten at worst 1-2 C’s per year. But since middle school I’ve found myself unable to pay attention, preferring to think about the book I want to read or the game I want to play or even just something else I started learning about. I figured out how to get by with finished homework and average tests. But I took about 6 AP tests in high school and only passed one, because I couldn’t study well enough to retain all the information I learned and forgot over the course, or pay attention to the exam to finish the multiple choice, or have enough foundation in the subject to write an essay that mattered at all.

This point in my life has almost certainly been my worst, depression-wise. I only live about twenty minutes away from my parents’ house, and I go home every weekend so I’m not just alone in my apartment for three days straight, but I’m still isolated during the week. My friends that are still in high school are busy with classes and extracurriculars and meeting with friends they still see everyday and very few of them have their own cars to drive up to visit me, and my friends in college are all busier than ever, all going to school anywhere from 15 minutes to like four hours away. My bad days are worse and happen more often and can span into bad weeks. I tend to write at best 1 page of notes after about 2 1/2 hours of classes a week, and drain my phone battery down to the sixties because I don't pay attention in lectures on subjects I’m not interested in. 

In high school I couldn’t wait for college, because I could choose my classes and the times and had the opportunity to make friends! But I realized I’m bad at making friends; I made one friend in kindergarten, when times were simpler, and all my lasting relationships (aside from my online friends, whom I treasure dearly) can be attributed to that one friendship. (I actually made a flowchart during class when another student was presenting, and I had the energy and motivation because I actually took my meds today!)

All this personal information about my Bad Times™ is to make you understand how much I needed to take my medication. But I don’t have classes everyday, so I didn’t think that taking ADHD meds everyday was worth it, and I (incorrectly) recalled that taking the depression meds didn’t help me enough to validate taking it everyday, instead only when it got really bad, but that plan didn’t work because when my depression is bad I don’t even have enough energy to text back or walk like four steps total to get my laptop, let alone walk to the bathroom and get the pills. 

So I didn’t take it, besides from when I worked my first 8-hour shifts at my first job. And those side-effects were extreme, because my body wasn’t used to these meds that were incredibly high in dosage because that’s what I need. I felt nauseous and dizzy enough to faint and went to the back room like four times an hour for a drink of water and it was still way less than I wanted. And I still didn’t learn my lesson about how the side-effects would get easier to handle if I took them more, but worse if I only took them on worst-case bases. I was thinking more in the moment about how bad I felt then, rather than about how I could feel better in the future if I pushed through.

I had a series of awful days, just last week. I cried several tears with no clear cause, only my own thoughts and boredom and depression, which means a lot in relation to me because I don’t cry. I watched Dear Evan Hansen and The Prom live, both with the original cast, and only cried a total of five tears at most, despite how these musicals and their subject matters are very dear to me. It was a bad week that came out of nowhere, nothing extraordinarily bad happened. I did the same thing as always, if not more. But still, it was a very bad week, because I was experiencing the heavy depression and it didn’t go away after I fell asleep. I don’t have classes on Wednesdays this semester; I have a lab on Mondays, and three lectures in a row on Tuesdays and Thursdays because I learned last semester that having enough leisure time to chill in my apartment for several hours between classes only makes going to the later class way more tedious. I usually get picked up by one of my parents on Thursdays while whichever of them it is drives home from work that day. That week I was lucky to have my Thursday classes cancelled, so I got picked up a day early. 

Being home is good for my health, adding it all up. It makes me a bit insecure about being independent, but fuck that I’m only 18 and I love my parents, I don’t need to be completely independent yet. Being home only improved when @pointlessoressential moved in with me; having someone so similar to me in regards of being content sitting and doing our own thing without the expectation to have something to Do™  all the time. It’s good for me, to have someone around me so I don’t get too isolated, but also not too overwhelmed. I’m usually pretty open with my mom, too, so being with her during the weekend and being able to talk with her or watch some easy TV together is good. I’ve never been very good at opening up to people; my main characterization with friends I’m not as close with is sarcasm and puns and whatever other humor to distract both of us from personal issues. I’ve been trying to get better, with help and reminders from the aforementioned bee and mom, as well as my best friend (who yes my meeting of and bonding with can indirectly be connected to that kindergarten friend, if you were wondering) who is much more skilled at telling me about her feelings than I am. But I’m trying. So I told my mom about how I had been having a bad week, once I got home.

My mom has dealt with depression her whole life, too. Most of her life she thought she also had anxiety, but when I was diagnosed with ADHD, the psychiatrist who had prescribed me the medications I take explained to both of us that ADHD in afab people (I'd say women bc my mom is cis but I'm nonbinary, so afab people) can be misdiagnosed as anxiety bc it’s different from what TV shows it to be, and the reactive anxiety (as opposed to constant, causeless anxiety from an anxiety disorder) is a symptom of ADHD. She’s dealt with the same issues all her life, so I go to her often when I hit the wall.

She told me to take the medication. I said I didn’t like the side-effects. She bought me mouthwash that helps dry mouth and a box of Rice Krispies Treats so I can eat something small but filling when I lose my appetite. She reminded me that the side-effects would improve if I took the medication more often. I am privileged in that I had the opportunity to see a doctor for my issues and be able to afford (even if barely) my medication, and I should take advantage of that instead of taking it for granted.

This is a long post, sharing my personal story about having mental illnesses, and how medication helps. It may not feel like it took effect, but then it’ll wear off and you’ll realize the difference. It’s better to feel stable, to feel “normal” for most of the day, than to get used to feeling awful. I took my medication this morning before class; I’ve taken about five hours to write this whole thing, due to having begun it before one lecture started, then continuing it during another while also listening to my professor review the first five chapters of Return of the King and discuss it with us. And now I’m in my apartment, on my laptop, switching between ending this PSA and checking on due dates and reviewing my calendar and just being 10 times more productive than I ever am.

I don’t know if anyone will need this advice. I don’t know how many will even click the read more. But this is a blog site, and this is something I’m trying to learn and have it remembered. It’s something I needed to put into words, and now it is.

[tamgerines]

KH3 First Impression and Complete Thoughts

BACKGROUND: i've played kh1, com, kh2, bbs, 2.8, and a bit of khux. i've watched coded and 3d on yt, so i know the story relatively well. this is an impression of my first playthrough. i did my run on standard mode and watched the secret ending on yt. i mostly did this for story, so this will have my initial impressions based on my run that will not cover extra content like the phone mini games and cooking.  my opinions are subjected to change if i ever do any later playthroughs. pls, feel free to disagree w/ me.

!!! WARNING: THERE WILL BE A LOT OF STORY SPOILERS!!!

AUDIO: 

Music: utada is queen!!! that opening song!!! also i kept noticing how lit the songs are in each world esp frozen???  and aqua's. worth a replay just for the soundtrack alone.

Voice Acting: everyone sounded great for the most part. sora’s va have certainly improved and sounds less strained. his vanitas voice has suffered significantly though lolololol. i think i read that someone called it a wannabe dark knight voice? the organization sounded incredible, w/ my fav being xemnas, marluxia, and larxene. the disney and pixar va’s are incredible w/ my fav probably being randall in monster’s inc. 

some ppl did not get vas like xaldin and laxeaus. and phil in hercules. which were all very disappointing bc in the scenes that they were in, they would just stand around woodenly, and it’s very noticeable. 

VISUALS: 

mostly a+. environments are beautiful. water and frost textures are amazing!!! you can really feel that waterga and blizzaga. fur textures in monster's inc. could use some work. little details like the sails moving in potc rly make the worlds come alive. this could be a me prob, but environments in certain worlds make it very hard to see map markers, treasure chests, and disney emblems (which are supposed to be hard to find, but still). mostly in tangled.

strangely enough, this is the only game where i prefer in game graphics to cgi. it's already highly expressive and there's something creepy and uncanny about the cgi esp in the final fight. and it's mostly bc sora's thin chapped lips throughout the entire game suddenly becomes full.

DESIGNS: 

i don't love everyone's outfit or sora's outfit changes in this game besides toy story. this is something i alrdy knew going in, but i've always felt like the outfits in kh1 and 2 rly suited each of the character's personalities. and this is not just destiny trio but even chars like roxas, the twilight town kids and the hollow bastion crew. the move towards a uniformed look makes no sense to me like is it to unify the key bearers as one force against the organization? i could understand why destiny trio was wearing plaid but why the twilight town kids also? by the end of the game, almost everyone was wearing black and it's just boring to me. like there's a right way to do uniform while retaining characters' individual looks, and that's the wayfinder trio in bbs. in this game, not so much.

an aside, but i'm sort of disappointed in the hud moving to 3d too. the 2d portraits have always been part of kh so it's kinda a bum to see it go away.

i don't love the lvl designs but it might also be due to a narrative and pacing issue that i'll expand on. any case, vertical maps are a challenge to figure out. i don't consider myself bad at directions but there are so many moments, esp in hercules and tangled where i would be like where the heck do i go next (and i have the map) only for me to look up and find a shotlock teleport point (and this isn't so much a thing that heightens the difficulty but a time waster).

lvls and bosses in previous kh games have always been known for their gimmicks and mechanics, but in this game particularly i found it to be more tedious? and this mostly applies to frozen: who the fuck designed frozen? who the fuck thought it's a good lvl design to have sora climb a mountain, get kick off it twice, and climb it again as good lvl design? who?

all the disney bosses started blending together for me bc they're literally all giant monsters and rly easy. i think the mistake here is the fact that the disney worlds are put back to back whereas in kh1/2/bbs you have the interruption of original worlds and an actually playable important parts to the main story, in this game all the important storyline in radiant garden are locked in cutscenes interspersed throughout the game between finishing disney worlds.

a lot of ppl might disagree w this, but i miss the cinematic reaction commands and limit attacks. we still have them but i find them to be on a much smaller scale in the form of drive finishers and situation commands, but i find them to be less imaginative in kh3 in order to be less """"disruptive""" to the gameplay. i've always found cinematics charming in previous games as a way to show sora interacting with his party members during combat. little things like beast putting a hand on sora's shoulder, aladdin leaning on him, or riku bumping his fist have a way of making the friendships he forms feel organic. outside of link commands/ summons, in this game, he........just throws a lot of ppl around or is thrown around?

GAMEPLAY:

already sort of went through parts of it in the previous section, but overall combat was smooth. i love how mobile sora is in this game. the improvement to his running speed and addition of all the mobile skills like dodge roll, super slide, flow motion, blizzard skating, etc. makes combat feel fast paced and juking so easy.

magic is super improved on ever since 2.8 and feels satisfying to use esp bc i feel like ur given a lot more mp now and with the ability to save the last of your mana for cure, it feels like you're not always budgeting your magic.

underwater combat was smoother than i expected.

it's a mistake putting almost all the commands on the triangle button. there's so much options you can do in combat and you'd mean to activate one thing, but then an attraction flow comes out and you just want to die. it gets a bit easier as i went on and got more used to the controls, but in general, i still think it's a mistake to not to have an ability or something to disable certain features like in kh2 fm.

gummy ships continue to be a thing. why. i don’t like how i have to turn the camera myself now ;;;. 

i'm not a speedrunner or anything, so i can't say too much else about fighting. the physical combos to me did feel like he was spinning a bit too much tho.

STORY: oh, fucking boy.

i'm not mad, i'm not disappointed, and i'm not even surprised. i already knew that post bbs, kh has already departed far from the franchise i loved as a kid and still today, at least story wise. but let's walk through it.

Disney Worlds: the disney worlds was literally a retelling of their movies. and unlike in kh2 and bbs, where visits to disney worlds were split into two parts, with the first part following the disney story and the second part being heavily tied to the main kh story and thus having original content, the disney worlds in kh3 only get one long visit. and the integration of kh into disney was just done so poorly. remember how kh villains used to kidnap princesses? remember how they used to actually conspire to take disney characters' hearts and turn them dark? remember, you know, when they were still evil and actually interfered with the worlds? in almost every world in kh3, an org member just comes says vague menacing things to sora, calls him stupid, and then leaves. yeah. and oh, maleficent and pete looks for a black box only to not find it, and leaves. AND THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE FOR THE REST OF THE GAME.

the pixar worlds + bh6 were the only ones with any actual new content and they feel so fresh. i esp loveeeeeeeed toy story omg. the script was so good, funny, and heartwarming. the pixar consultants should have helped kh all the way tbh.

like previous games, there's an attempt for each disney world to thematically tie into the main kh story. in this game, it was as heavy handed as ever, probably even more so. 

Original Worlds: onto the meat of kh, the main story was rushed up until the end. you have a slew of disney worlds, then bam, they slam you with all the human bosses and the important story stuff. 

the ‘awakening’ of roxas, xion, and ventus were very rushed. you literally have one moment they’re no there then two seconds of white screen and all of a sudden they’re there. 

there’s a shit ton of shoehorned character redemption arcs: vexen, demyx, saix, eraqus, xehanort, xemnas, ansem. all were done either offscreen or by some miracle, they reached an epiphany after sora beat his keyblade into their heads. 

the only death scene that i actually liked, that a lot of ppl complained about, was vanitas bc yes, although i thought his character had so much potential, it was at least a consistent and sympathetic death. bless him, born a villain die a villain. same with xemnas bc i loved his last speech. 

xehanort was a shitty villain through and through. no one understood his motivation; it’s like nomura took a page from thanos’ guide of how to write villains, gave him some stupid ass goal to have a keyblade war to restart the world, and then just have him...get everything he wanted? his estranged friend comes back in ghost form for whatever reason and is just like ok we’re cool man even tho u took my student and indirectly murdered me and then gets taken up to heart heaven, like O K. and like what’s the most frustrating is that it’s implied they’re keeping him as a villain??? bc fucking ymx is like ooohh imma just go back to my own time via time travel. it’s too late for u sora hurdur. 

and the younger members of the organization, the ones that we do know were in khux. we don’t get to know how they became nobodies and they don’t get a redemption??? really???  

you can tell they tried, TRIED, hard to give everyone closure. and they miserably failed to close plot points. they actually opened more. who the fuck is the unnamed girl in lea and isa’s storyline? why the fuck did you mention her if you were going to play the pronoun game and not name her??? what the fuck was in the black box??? why are they looking for it when no one know what’s in it??? why the fuck was repliku inside of riku the whole fucking time??? why have org members be norted if they can still have agency and choose to betray xehanort??? why the fuck was BOTH sora and riku in different worlds in the secret ending????? ? ? ? 

and tho i’m very glad that wayfinder and sea salt trios get their happy ending, the destiny trio had their characters assassinated. kairi was teased to become an independent character of her own and fight alongside sora, only to get shafted to become a damsel in distress, again, literally replaced by xion in one of the last battles, AND referred to as ‘motivation’ for sora by xehanort lol. sora, the guy who’s always going my friends are my power, ONLY grieves about losing kairi, accrediting all of his strength ONLY TO HER. riku, who spent the first game desperately trying to get kairi’s heart back, and who protected her from saix in the second, suddenly doesn’t give a shit about her and is just there as sora’s moral support. it’s so frustrating that nomura has the audacity to say that this series is primarily about friendship and then pull this shit lol. it’s transparent. 

CONCLUSION: 

i think for me, the quintessential kh trilogy has always been kh1, com, and kh2. as far as i’m concerned, the story should have ended there for destiny trio. and it’s like nomura said, how he feels more sympathetic towards villains now, i think nomura’s ideas have outgrown his main character. 

sora’s journey worked in 1, com, and 2 because he had an overarching goal to find kairi and riku and return home. not everyone has to understand heartless vs. nobodies or dark vs. light but at least, anyone can understand the desperation of saving your friends. when that framework is taken away, sora’s goals and motivations become unclear; he’s a kid and has little reason to be caught up in xehanort’s plans, the keyblade war, or the organization’s agendas. and his failure to grow with the increasing complexity of the plot, to investigate for himself the bigger picture or even come into a similar realization of his own darkness/ balance like riku, makes him unfit; he’s a reactionary character instead of an active one. that’s why this game, being experienced from his point of view, felt mostly like a catch up to speed for sora and a set up to nomura’s next big thing instead of a genuine ending.  i honestly don’t think nomura knows what to do with him and with kingdom hearts anymore. 

kh3 is a game wrapped in nostalgia and promised something bigger than it could fulfill. and aside from better graphics and improved gameplay, the story wasn’t worth the wait. 

[midcing]

okay so i have some New Kids.... they are all trash but some of them are trying their best which should honestly count for something imho... i’ll probably bring some more muses in at some point during this week bc i legit have 25 apps in my drafts right now and i just didn’t apply for all at once bc didn’t want to overwhelm myself... honestly tho? i want all the plots.... so like... pls like this and i’ll im you or come to me throwing ideas at my face so we plot and have some connections and threads ?? love my new trash sons pls ?? thanks !

JAMES WEST looks an awful lot like CHARLIE WEBER. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re LOGICAL, they have a tendency to get pretty CONTRARY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to POLARIZE by TWENTYONEPILOTS.

inspired by ;; frank delfino from htgawm, walter white from breaking bad and jaime lannister from game of thrones. 

a lawyer

has 2 daughters.

would probably start a war for both of them if they asked him to.

thinks his daughters are angels who can do no wrong. if he saw them murdering someone in front of him, he would probably come up with a reason why they were doing it and defend them which isn’t great bc they are both like wild kids who are not actual angels ( wc ?? anyone ?? i’m trash for families ngl )

sketchy morals at best? ? doesn’t think of himself as someone who would do anything wrong but if something wrong is being done for his benefit he is sure as hell not gonna stop it

got into an ivy league school because his father - criminal known for money laundering, corruption, and fraud - donated a huge sum of money to the college. will die pretending he got in on his own merit 

the older brother of my character mark west bc i love families sue me

would probably google ‘how to know if i am a dilf’

says thing like ‘lit’ and ‘on fleek’ to relate to the youth

pretends everything is fine until it blows up in his face

wants to much ! a perfect life, a perfect house, a perfect family, a perfect wife, a perfect job ! pretty good ? nah. not good enough for james west. scratch that and start again. everything must be 10/10

wants to be everybody’s dad even tho he isn’t a great dad to his two kids

will make your life choices for you if you let him

will bail you out of jail but only if he is allowed to give you a 3 hour lecture on Responsibility 

will logic his way out of moral conundrums

the kind of person that turns a blind eye to corruption if it benefits him in some way

tries his best, which really honestly can only be said about 5% of my characters, so i would give him some credit

if you ask him a question he doesn’t want to answer he will just straight up ignore the question and change the subject 

feels guilty about the way his helps criminals and does wrong stuff for his benefit and the benefit of the people he loves but also doesn’t try to change

aesthetics — watching the sunset through the office window, loud alarms playing an hour later than it should, unrecognizable reflection in the mirror, child laughter and the heavy feeling of stress in your chest, hushed whispers of assertions amidst a crowd, old wedding rings saved away after the divorce, big houses and empty space, thousand dollar watches, the smell of jail permanently stuck to a three piece suit, painfully happy memories, ignoring the way guilt makes it hard to breath, arguing in a favor of a guilty party.

FRANK HAMILTON looks an awful lot like DAVID HARBOUR. HE is FORTY ONE and while they’re DEVOTED, they have a tendency to get pretty UNPRINCIPLED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEDATED by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; hank from detroit become human and chief hopper from stranger things

                                                              tw: gambbling, alcoholism

a mess trying to pass for a functioning human being

he is a dirty cop that accepts bribes to let people off the hook and gets money from gangs to look the other way when he knows they will be doing something wrong somewhere bc he truly cannot bring himself to care

honestly i have no excuses for his behavior

has a huge problem with gambling. 

born in kola. lived in kola for almost 30 years. moved out after his marriage fell apart, but has recently moved back

the kind of human being who thinks blood and gasoline are sexy

the kind of person that goes All Fucking Out for things and then when things don’t turn out exactly how he expected them to he makes a fuss about it and goes like “why did i even bother?”

will call you out on your bullshit and then act like people just throw shit at other’s face like that. stare you in the eye after exposing you and ask ‘what?’

says stuff like ‘i might be a shitty person but at least i’m upfront about it’ and ‘i prefer not to get involved in people’s lives.’

there is no such thing as a acquaintances. frank either loves you with all his heart and would kill a man for you OR he hates you and the fact that you are able to talk annoys him

you’ve heard of overachivers ?? well frank  is here to present you A True Underachiever. he tries to do the bare minimum amount of work possible 

the personification of /r/notmyjob

would probably go to an underground fighting ring for fun

channels his unhappiness into unhealthy habits. drinks too much, smokes too much. doesn’t do anything to change the fact that he is unhappy

gambled his marriage away by which i mean he gambled everything owned away and kept trying to find excuses for it until she was done and left . he still loves her but he feels like shit and he doesn’t wanna drag her back into his shitty life ( wc ? pls ? )

moved away from kola when his marriage ended and went to las vegas. lived there until he got in dept there too and he couldn’t find anywhere else to play then came back to kola 

at some point was wide-eyed and hopeful and interested in helping people but slowly became unhappy with how he didn’t go anywhere, didn’t become better, greater, didn’t do more and then slowly things just went to shit

aesthetics — casual cruelty in the name of honesty, cigarette buds collecting on an old ashtray, crumbled dollar bills found between couch cushions, falling asleep at three o’clock and waking up the next day, bloody knuckles, handcuffs and police siren, the smell of alcohol in your breath at ten in the morning, unironed shirts and old cologne, knowing something is wrong but doing it anyway, ignored calls from concerned family members, remembering you have to do something just as it is too late to do it, the thrill in heartbeat when you land a punch in someone’s face, drunk steps stumbling out of the bar, begging people for one more chance.

SEBASTIAN “BASH” VANCOOP looks an awful lot like LIAM PAYNE. HE is TWENTY TWO and while they’re CHARMING, they have a tendency to get pretty SELFISH. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to PLAY ME LIKE A VIOLIN by JEREMY.

inspired by ;; hakeem lyon from empire and aaron burr from hamilton

that one sort of famous person that is always shirtless in other famous’ people instagram stories

treats people like things he can use and drop when he gets tired of

fake af. will say he likes you and then shit talk about you behind your back

that one person that goes ‘ooooooooooh you are gonna let them talk like that about you ?? ’ when other people are fighting 

only wears prada chanel and gucci

can actually be really nice if you get to know him but how ? when there are three hundred walls up ??

thinks people are gonna take advantage of him or make fun of him so he just doesn’t trust anyone. can’t get betrayed if you never let anyone in right ??

doesn’t understand internet culture

was born in an insanely rich family. his father was a famous movie producer and his mother was a famous movie star. picture like spielberg as his dad and kate winslet as his mom 

hates when people say like ‘Oh So You Are [    ]’s son?’

the first movie he was ever in was when he was about 5

he was in a bunch of movies from ages 5 to 12 but it was never really anything big. he was just the main character’s kid or that one kid that doesn’t get much screen time in movies like goonies

he never really liked acting but what else woUld he do ?? look at his family !! look at his legacy !! [ cue ‘wait for it’ from the hamilton soundtrack playing in the background ]

when he was 20 his father produced and directed a movie in which he stared. it was like his first Real role in hollywood action blockbuster. before the movie was out there was this whole hype about him and his dad working together and wow it’ll be awesome but it pretty much bombed. picture like After Earth bomb. everyone shit talking about him and the movie and how dumb it is on youtube bomb. the movie doesn’t get money to pay for itself bomb.

despite the fact that his parents said it didn’t matter. it was just a bad movie. everyone making fun of him and people shit talking about how he didn’t have his parents’ talent got to him real bad. he stopped acting all together.

his parents keep telling him to Do Something but he just doesn’t

is living in kola bc LA is a dumb of reminder of everything he thinks he did wrong

aesthetics — the blinding lights of camera flashes, the light feeling of being drunk, loud songs blaring through club speakers, interviews stopped halfway through, rude comments and anger, crowded parties in expensive summer homes, the overwhelming feeling in your chest when someone gets too close to fast, feigned charm and stranger’s company, running out of things to say after you have known someone for a while, wasted champagne dripping off a tilted bottle and loud laughter coming from the other room, the slow but continues pain in your heart that reminds you you are disappointment.

MATTHEW “MATTEO” DECKER looks an awful lot like JON BERNTHAL. HE is FORTY TWO and while they’re WILLFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty BLUNT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEVEN NATION ARMY by THE WHITE STRIPES.

inspired by ;; frank castle from daredevil, frank castle from the punshiner, frank castle from the born comics series. ( they are three different people, fight me ) seeley booth from bones in season five

                                       tw: alcoholism, ptsd, mention of army, and war

former us marine

mostly goes by decker. his family used to calls him matteo but when other people do it it’s like .. “no”

you have been heard of resting bitch face ? matteo is here to show you the resting i fucking hate you face

swears too much like Wayy too much

he can be honestly really fucking soft i’m ngl but then you gotta be that one person that breaks down walls and again ? who has the time for that ? in the twenty first century?

wants to take care of everyone but pretends he is not interested in people bc he “Knows” everyone is gonna die or leave so there is no fucking point

actually just pretends he isn’t The Absolute Softest for everyone and tries to keep them all at arm's length but then people say ‘hi’ and are nice to him and he is like ‘Fuck me now i like them’

can actually laugh and make jokes which is Impressive imo

but then goes back to being bitter and angry at life

too straight up about things : could heavenly benefit from learning how to read social cues

you have to Tell him things if you want him to understand it. you can’t go around dropping hints. he won’t get it.

drinks his coffee black and without sugar

enlisted when he was eighteen bc patriotism and american dream and red white and blue stars but then that slowly stopped being the point. then he was just doing it bc He had been doing that for years what else would he do ? and then at some point he just saw too much … and then when he was discharged he just Never came back

after he came back he couldn’t find a job and he didn’t know what else to do and he slowly started getting involved with shady stuff and now he sells drugs to pay the bills

disappointed in who he is right now. 

he is honestly Trying his very best.

aesthetics — punching a wall until your hands stings and your chest doesn’t anymore, the pleasant light feeling of holding back laughter, completed tasks and unachievable peace of mind, low chatter in dive bars in dark parts of town, questioning your belief system, roadside motels and failing neon lights, moonlight coming through the bedroom window, leaving the morning after, combat boots, loud honking cars and shaky hands, fighting the urge to shove someone away when you feel their touch against your skin, quiet places and pleasant loneliness, old dusty books and rock music, waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, whiskey mixed with coffee

OCTAVIANUS BRUNO GENTILLE looks an awful lot like FRANCOIS ARNAUD. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they’re ROMANTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty UNREALISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SOMEONE NEW by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; jay gatsby from the great gatsby, romeo from romeo and juliet, tom hansen from (500) days of summer, a slam poem i saw on youtube once

                                              tw: bullying, mention of learning disabilities and stutter

romanticized every bad thing that happened in his life.

will romanticize every bad thing that ever happened in your life.

the kind of person that says “things happen for a reason…”

goes by his middle name. honestly thinks his first name is the Most Stupid Thing In The World if you call him octavianus he’ll be legit annoyed. kids used to make fun of him at school all that jazz. just call bruno

he is legit in love with italian culture and history. his father was italian and he just highkey Cannot Shut Up About It

art history professor in kola’s college

the kind of professor that just loves what he is doing… you know when the professor like kinda looks excited that he is talking or sharing knowledge or just talking about shit they truly like ? that is bruno

a nerd but pretends he isn’t

could not do a one night stand without catching feelings if his life depended on it

loves people too much too fast with all his heart

there is an argument to be made for him not actually falling in love with people and just with the idea of love that he made up in his mind but let’s get to that when we get to that

will spend the entire lesson arguing with one student about how inaction in our current political climate is just as harmful as supporting people who are doing harm when he was supposed to be talking about impressionism or something like that

thinks people have a soulmate and he is just trying to find his

100% not only Shows up to slam poetry sessions but Helps organize them

real political. the type of person that rallies when things are wrong and gets others to do it

has too many exes

posts pictures with his current girl/boyfriends on instagram and then doesn’t delete them when they break up bc ‘that’s who i was at that moment’

can recite poetry for you in italian but do not let him trick you. he’ll only be around for the honeymoon phase of the relationship then he’ll be like wow this isn’t perfect. time to end it

loves art !! all type of art !! is terrible at all of it : writing, panting, photography. but he loves it and he does it despite being bad and he tells people to do what they love !! and follow their dreams !!

his parents got a divorce when he was 7 and it was pretty bad. his dad was italian and moved back to italy shortly after. his mother was from kola and he stayed with her.

it was as if his world had fallen apart at that. bruno had never even seen his parents fight and then one day his father just moves out to Another Country he was pretty lost and confused

bruno moved back and forth between italy and the u.s. throughout most of his childhood and adolescence. never spending a lot of time in one place.

though his parents tried to remain friends after the divorce for his sake it never really worked out. his father wanted his mom back while his mother moved on and got married again.

growing up, he had a lot of trouble with accents and language. his father used to speak only italian at home. and his mother used to speak only english.

he developed a learning disability and a stutter after his parents got divorced

kids in school used to make fun of him. the way he talked and his name specially.

doesn’t stutter anymore but when he is talking about something that is hard to talk about, he talks really slowly to make sure the words come out properly

aesthetics — ukulele songs playing softly in a room with echo, piano recitals with ten people in the audience, walking around aimlessly, kissing greek statues, being happy that you are sad because it means that you are alive, cheering on others success, lacking ambition and living the present, old songs hummed in the shower, waking up early and staying in bed until 10am, cuddling under warm blankets, failing in love with a stranger, laughing loudly with new friends, white wine, beautiful paintings in an empty museum, admiring something for way too long,

ANTHONY MILLER looks an awful lot like JOSH DALLAS. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re PATIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty SELF-RIGHTEOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to JACKIE AND WILSON by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; prince charming from once upon a time, ned stark from game of thrones, bob belcher from bob’s burgers

                                                                      tw: cancer

cannot talk about his feelings . cannot accept his own mistakes . cannot show weakness . at any point. no matter the subject . cannot let anyone take care of him.

Must be the best at all times for everyone and take care of everyone

self-care is a myth anthony does not believe in

works too much

he needs glasses to read stuff but he pretends he doesn’t so he does that squinting and pulling things close to his face thing. at which point you would probably ask ‘anthony if you don’t want to wear glasses wouldn’t it be easier ? to just ? wear contact lenses ?’ and yes it would it definitely would but anthony likes to make things harder for himself

slow to anger but he has that temper that you literally cannot see coming. he looks serious and stoic and then wow thunderfucking storms breaking chairs and stuff

loves beers and american football

the type of person that says this generation is lost

might smoke too much but he doesn’t talk about that

he doesn’t talk about anything actually

although i love him with all my heart. i would not rec

there is a right way to do stuff and anthony as the holder of all the knowledge and morality Must tell you about it

rarely ever smiles bUT when he does ? smiles like a prince. if we had a royal verse he’d be the king of the entire universe honestly.

he was a oldest child in a family of 7. his parents were super wealthy and he was the One favorite child who both parents used to love and cherish and cheer on.

he got his high school sweetheart pregnant. his parents didn’t want him to marry her bc she was Poor and Not up to standards but he chose love over his family and got disowned for that. hasn’t talked to his family since

his dream life was always to have the perfect picket fence house and american dream type of family. it was supposed to be him, his wife, his son and maybe some day he would have a daughter and it would Be great

he and his wife had a son and they named him hendrix bc she loved rock and jimi hendrix and he loved the name even tho he never liked rock. but honestly ? he was so weak for her he would have loved the name lkgjdflajf if she suggested it

a few months after their first son was born tho she was diagnosed with cancer and a few months later she passed away

after that he raised his son by himself. he really threw himself into it. spent most of his life focused on it and work and now his son is going to college and he doesn’t know what to do with himself

the only person he ever Truly dated was his wife and then he just focused on his son and raising him so he never really allowed himself to date bc then he would have to introduce someone else to his son’s life and all that … sO anthony is usually all cool and fine and then you show romantic interest in him and there is like a visible shift ya know? like he goes from anthony to a truly profoundly awkward person trying to pretend it’s cool

aesthetics — organized work tables, color coded to-do lists, trying your very best at all times, mental exhaustion showing through physical symptoms, dad jokes and laughing by yourself, the smell of new books, comfort found in old libraries, forgetting your reading glasses at home, losing your temper and breaking something, old family photos lost somewhere in the attic, pushing someone else on a swing, sundays afternoons lost at the park, working extra hours instead of going home, cold breeze and hugging yourself to your jacket, trying to explain to someone why they are wrong when they don’t want to listen

[nemossubmarine]

D&D ask meme: 2, 7, 19, 29, 34

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.:O What a tough question, I love all my friends’ characters always. I’ll pick a few, because this would otherwise be impossible!

@raddigested‘s Randy (from DA rp) (and Jeff from KoNS): Partially because we talk so much to each other about our characters, so it’s that extra-insight that makes it extra-enjoyable to see them played. Neither of them started as especially deep characters, which I kinda prefer personally? It’s easier to go with the flow and let the story affect you, if that is kind of the most buckwild thing to happen to you ever. Randy especially has had some great character growth these past 4 years, doing some actually pretty awful things and then getting into actual trouble for it, and I’m glad to have been part of that, as a GM and a fellow player.

Humbert (from DA rp): I like to complain about Humbert a lot, mostly bc my character butts heads with him all the time. I know Humbert’s player often is vehemently against what Humbert is for as a character (mostly re: the mage issue in DA-universe), so playing him can’t be easy, which makes it super-enjoyable to watch him be played (when I’m not grumbling about what he has just said that is :P).

7. Your favorite downtime activityHmm, I don’t know how often I as a player get to partake in that, since it seems there’s a lot of it done during my campaigns? :D (I’m sure I’ll be corrected if I’m forgetting something big) At least all my the examples I can think of at the top of my head happened in my campaigns. But anyway, our group has a boat, so when we’re not adventuring we’re trying to get enough money to pay for crew by buying-and-selling. That’s pretty fun to orchestrate, although I am terrible with coming up with numbers on spot. 

Also I am always here for one-on-one IC conversations, usually more than anyone else though. :D

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?We play with 3d6���s, and everyone gets their own. Someone usually gets “bad” dice and changes theirs during the game night. Also if someone has been rolling really well all night, another person may lend their dice or ask them to blow on theirs for luck in a tough spot.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?My ratio to combat to RP heavy sessions is usually one combat heavy session / campaign. I fluctuate between wanting to get better at combat and just keeping it as that one obligatory one. I just feel that basic combat is not that interesting anymore so I have to always make a big bad with either interesting properties or interesting environment, and while I’m way better at DA-math that DnD-math that’s still a lot of work. For my last campaign I put stuff straight from the monster manual in (with some minor tweaks), which seemed to work alright, but then I didn’t run those parts, just wrote them, so idk how I would have felt running them. (the best combat in that campaign did feature an interesting environment so that helped :D)

That is to say, I am far less conflicted on RP heavy sessions. Those are far more easy to orchestrate. :D

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?DA rp doesn’t have that much choice, especially playing a rogue. That said, I’m a single-handed weapon rogue but I do have a staff around in case blood-spilling is discouraged, even though it lessens both my defense and damage and I can’t even back-stab with it, so yeah, flavor all the way. :D

[inkstainedfanfics]

Hii! I'm here for the drabble night 🙊 could you write James Potter x reader when even though you like James (you're a mutual friend to him and Lily) you help them go on a date and then like Remus/Sirius who knows about your crush is v concerned bc he sees that you're pretending to be fine when you're not? Hope this isn't too much thank you x

“That’ll never work.”

You glare at Sirius as you swipe the chocolates from James’s coffee table. “It will.”

“No it won’t.” He says in a singsong voice. Remus in the corner gives you a concerned look that you ignore.

You want to strangle Sirius. “Listen, James, who are you going to trust: the guy who thinks he understands women or someone that is a woman?”

“This feels like a trap.”

Sirius cocks an eyebrow. “You’ve already walked into it, mate. Might as well tell us who you prefer.”

“In that case, I’m going with the woman.”

Your stomach does flips as he grins at Sirius. You scold yourself silently. It’s a joke, not serious. James doesn’t care about you that way. As a close friend, sure, but anything more? Not a chance.

Heat floods your cheeks as you force a smile to your face. “At least one of you is sane. Did you remember to buy the movie tickets?”

James digs in his pocket and removes two slips of paper. “Done.”

“And the dinner reservations?”

“Reserved.” His cocky demeanor fades for just a moment as he runs a hand through his hair. “You’re sure Lily will love this?”

God, that question hurts. Of course she’ll love it. You know she will. You’d love it.

You shake the thought from your head. There’s no point. He watches her with such doe eyes, it makes you sick, but he’s happy. He’s actually happy with her. And she’s the same, always looking at him when he’s stuck in an argument with Sirius or interrupting his conversations and telling him he’s wrong just so he’ll look at her. Two of your closest friends like each other. They’re happy together.You just wish you could find it in yourself to be happy for them.

You force your grin to stretch wider as you reach forward to button the top button of James’s button up. “You’ll be there, James. Of course she’ll love it.”

He smiles and lets out a breath, rocking back onto his heels. “”Yeah, you’re right. Lily will adore a drive-in movie.”

“Just try not to crash the car.” You tease, stepping back from him, chest aching.

He lights up at this. “But what a story that would make. She’d go crazy telling it to everyone.”

You take another step away from James as he goes on and on and on about how beautiful her green eyes are and how she scrunches up her forehead when she’s mad at him and how animated she is when she tells stories. You realize with a heavy heart that he knows as much about her as you do about him.

You make a weak excuse about being hungry and disappear into the kitchen. Arms wrapped tight around your stomach to keep yourself held together, you lean against the counter. Everything would be so much easier if you could just give him up.

Remus’s arm brushes yours as he leans against the spot next to you. “You know, James snores really loudly.”

Face scrunched up in confusion, you look up at Remus.

His arms are crossed loosely over his chest, the opposite of your own tight stance. “He’s a horrible cheater, too. Can’t play a game without rigging it for himself.” He glances down at you, “D’you know has the worst taste in music out of the four of us? He’s such a snob about it all.” He bites his lip.

You realize what he’s doing. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Tell you all the embarrassing things about my best friend? What’s the fun in knowing that he sings in the shower if I don’t tell anyone?”

“Wait, does he really?”

“He’s so loud, you can hear him upstairs.”

Despite your mood and James’s current excitement, you find yourself giggling. “What’s he sing?”

“That song from Snow White.”

You cover your mouth. “No way.”

“I promise you I heard it one time.”

You bow your head, a smile on your face. “Thanks, Remus.”

Remus nudges you with his shoulder. “Don’t get so down. He’s missing out, but someday, someone won’t.”

Your smile fades as James’s laugh bursts through the house. “But James is different.”

He shakes his head. “No, James is a fool like everyone else here. You, you’re the different one, and you’re gonna find someone better than him someday, someone that can see they have in front of them.”

You sigh. “Hopefully someone that doesn’t snore a lot, either.”

Remus chuckles. “You can only hope on that one.”

[ixnova]

Tag Game Tagged by: @spacedoutpineapple​ Rules: Bold what you prefer, tag some people. 1. Coffee or Tea I hate both of these. I don’t any kinda “cafe” drinks. 2. Early Bird or Night Owl Sometimes I don’t go to bed until the sun rises. 3. Chocolate or Vanilla It might come with age but as a kid I loved chocolate, but lately I can’t stand too much chocolate, it makes me sick, and would much rather prefer vanilla.

4. Spring or Fall There’s no bugs out during the fall. It’s not too cold, but it’s not too hot, and it’s the spooky Halloween season. 5. Silver or Gold I don’t have any commentary for this. 6. Pop or Alternative Is this talking about music? I don’t actually know music genres worth shit, and I kinda like all kinds of music, it depends on the song not the genre for me. Rock is probably up there though with my regulars I guess. 7. Freckles or Dimples Freckles are cute. 8. Snakes or Sharks I will pet a good noodle. 9. Mountains or Fields Mountains are too much work to get around. Fields are open and nice. 10. Thunderstorm or Lightning Lightning is scary, thunder can be calming especially with the heavy rainfall late at night. 11. Egyptian or Greek Mythology I don’t actually pay much attention to history and shit so I can’t actually weigh in on this one. Egyptians worshiped cats, Greek/Romans stabbed each other for fun.

12. Ivory or Scarlet Scarlet seems prettier. 13. Flute or Lyre I prefer the sound of the Flute, I can’t play it worth shit though. Had to drop out of band class bc I just couldn’t make it do the sounds. 14. Eyes or Lips Eyes are the window to the soul. 15. Witch or Fairy I like the aesthetics better.

16. Opal or Diamond Bling bling, motherfucker. 17. Butterflies or Honeybees Butterflies are harmless... I’m terrified of bees, they always try to sting me or get stuck in my hair. I may be deathly allergic to them but I’m not waiting to get stung to find out. Fuck bees. 18. Macaroons or Eclairs I’m only picking Eclairs because I’ve never had a Macaroon in my life, though I really want to try one. They look very pretty and I bet they taste good. 19. Typewritten or Handwritten letters I like to write things out when I can. Something about the smoothness of the pencil gliding over the paper is oddly satisfying to me. I enjoy it. 20. Secret Garden or Secret Library Gardens have bugs. I don’t like bugs. Libraries can also be big, and look more cool. Who knows what kinda books are in there. 21. Rooftop or Balcony Idk it just seems more fun. 22. Spicy or Mild This question is kinda odd because I like both but yet at the same time I don’t? I like the flavor of spicy food but not the spice so much, but you can’t get much flavor on mild sauces/foods most times... I don’t like go for super hot or anything though either because then I’m just in pain. 23. Opera or Ballet I’d find someone singing in high tones and doing a play/story more interesting than watching people dance to music. 24. London or Paris My BBC Sherlock fangirl senses are kicking in, that’s one reason to go to London. 25. Vincent Van Gogh or Claude Monet I’m an uncultured swine, I don’t actually know who Claude Monet is. 26. Denim or Leather Leather is h0t. 27. Potions or Spells Spells are more on demand, and can last longer than potions sometimes. Easier to use too, you don’t have to brew a spell.

28. Ocean or Desert I can’t swim so I’d rather be lost in the Desert.

29. Mermaid or Siren Cryptids, Evil. 30. Masquerade Ball or Cocktail Party I like to dress up. Tags: @fetronic @mythical1nk Y’all can do it if you want, you don’t have to. I can’t think of anyone else to tag atm so the person reading this, yeah you, I tag you.