#and i still hate her bc she’s entitled and bitter and cares more about her superiority complex than actually helping people

[ironinkpen]

i still don't like kipperlilly HOWEVER it would be VERY interesting if the twist is that she's been playing the long game against porter to get revenge for lucy's death

devil's nectar is used to lie to gods. porter wants to be a god.

gertie mentions in ep14 that the last order of nectar was twice as much as usual.

we know from ruben's dream that the rat grinders have been taking devil's honey for some reason

lucy was killed by multiple assailants but it's never confirmed it was the rat grinders—ruben's house has a perfect view of the lake, so the rat grinders could easily have witnessed lucy's murder

jace and porter seem to want the whole school at graduation for some reason, but kipperlily drafted an order to disband aguefort the moment she becomes president. undermining the plan?

kipperlilly was "very fond" of lucy

kipperlilly keeps provoking the bad kids despite jace saying not to—maybe intentionally trying to get the bad kids on their trail?

if nothing else, that's proof being rage-starred doesn't mean she's a mindless follower who agrees w everything porter/jace say

which means her rage could have easily turned on porter

kipperlilly is a mastermind rogue

[floweryavenue]

Ugh, so, I don't even know if anyone is actually gonna read this, and I'm not really the one who would participate in fandom very actively (I was always a passive observer, liking other's people content), but the stuff with the leaks of the extra 8 pages of snk ending has been really bothering me for the last few days, and I really need to get a few things off my chest.

I really wanted to wait till 9th June to form my full thoughts. However, since basically all pages have leaked anyway and quite a reliable source confirmed there is basically no additional context to them whatsoever, I decided I might as well write this anyway and vent somewhere to clear my head so I can finally move on with my life to focus on other things I like and with other important irl stuff. Moreover, since Tumblr seems like a reasonably safe space to do so (comparing to one hell of a Twitter...) I might as well do it here. So, let's go.

So, basically, my main problem with those pages is simply that... you just don't do that. No. You don't release an ending, make people think it's really the end, then say you're gonna release a few additional pages that won't change anything but simply clarify some things, and then, two months later, release these pages indeed but not only they don't actually clarify anything, but in fact, create even more plot holes. Furthermore, as a cherry on top, they change the ending quite completely. If those pages had been included in the original release, most people, myself included, would've moved on by now. But noooo, make us go through this hell again. Great :))))

And as for the content of those pages, well... I can't help but feel they really did quite a disservice to Mikasa, one of my favourite female characters ever. My biggest problem isn't even that she 'moved on' (whatever that means at this point, coz I feel like fandom has been successfully managing to butcher that term ever since 139 has dropped) and started a family on her own because I'm fully aware that falling in love again after you first love died is an entirely normal thing irl. But ffs, we're not talking about irl here; we're talking about snk and Mikasa. And the thing that MAINLY bothers me, is the way it has been presented.

I'm not going to delve into the husband's possible identities, 1) I'm not interested at all in participating in any ship wars, 2) because we don't even get to see his face and sources say we indeed don't get any direct confirmation in that regard. Not that this matters anyway, because we get presented with Mikasa on the one hand staring her own family, but on the other, still continuing to visit Eren's grave repeatedly throughout her life and in the end, getting buried with a scarf on, her dearest remembrance of Eren, and maybe even getting buried next to him (even tho, the latter is still not 100% confirmed, bcs here sources are contradictory, but judging by the general mood of those pages, I'd not be surprised at all if it turns out to be the case).

That makes me think the whole family-stuff was used only to present the passage of time and the fact that Mikasa never fully got over Eren, bcs we don't see the family in any other context besides the visits to the grave. And that leads me to my other question - was introducing the family really NECESSARY, then? Couldn't Mikasa simply visit the grave with Armin, and maybe even with Armin, Annie and their kids? Idk about you, but that would make 100% more sense to me. Also, don't get me even started, how much in the wrong way it rubs me that Mikasa, the character who, as we know, always deeply cared about others, even strangers (Gabi, etc.), would just drag her husband, her children and grandchildren to the grave of her first love on which she had written 'my most beloved, my dear'? Do I really need to elaborate on how WEIRD that is?

But I guess that's on me for believing a male author would write a satisfactory conclusion to the main female character (not Mikasa touring around Hizuru, not Mikasa playing with kids at the orphanage, no! Forced family plot, instead! Take that!)

As of Eremika, aka my most cherished paring ever since 2014... I guess the only good thing in that mess is that at least it doesn't invalidate them. If anything, it validates them even more, because the stuff I've mentioned earlier prove their love was eternal and Mikasa never truly got over it. So, all in all, I'm gonna still cherish them forever. There are still many unexplored aspects of their bond, so I believe we, as a community, have a big room to explore (pls, I'm begging you, explore with me all the possibilities of their four years in the cottage in the mountains, I swear, that sh!t has so much potential it's unbelievable).

As of Paradis getting destroyed, well, that leaves me bitter, even though after doing some thinking, that really might be the least out of place thing in those pages. At least according to sources, it happens when Mikasa is already dead, so at least Eren's wish of giving his friends long, secure lives came true. However, that would be it.

And as of titan's power still being there and some kid apparently finding the source of it... this just screams 'sequel-baiting', AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. That's it.

To end my definitely too long rambling, I just wanna say, I really would have liked to wait till 9th June to publish my thoughts, but as I've said, those last few days have been driving me crazy and I really wanted just to get all of it off my chest and move on. I want for now to just focus on my irl things, like working on my master's thesis and other stuff giving me joy, like Eurovision next week coming back after 2-years-absence due to pandemic. Eurovision is one of the few things that I love, and I intend on fully enjoying it next week, not sulking on those leaks too much. And if by some completely unexpected miracle I get pleasantly surprised on 9th June (even tho I truly doubt it at this point) - that would be only a win for me, I guess.

Anyway, please remember, all that I have written here is ONLY MY OPINION, and if you disagree with anything, that's valid, you're completely entitled to that. I'm not publishing this to argue with anybody, only to clear my head. That's it.

If anyone has read this too long personal rant of mine - thank you, I'm kissing you on the forehead right now. 

Oh, and remember - EREMIKA IS CANON. And always will be (no, that one is not up for discussion). 

Also, we have that official High School AU, and Eren right now is quietly snoozing on Mikasa's shoulder during another Twilight marathon she made him to take part in, and Armin and Annie are dissing people together on reddit while bonding over their pretentious taste in music. That's canon, Isayama told me after I had phoned him to ask wtf.

PS To think I was almost sure those extra pages will be about Mikasa's reunion with the rest of the alliance... I guess it's time to put that clown make up on. 

[saintobio]

the first two sentences in that sneak peak sound wrong and bitchy as hell to me bitch WHY U CARE im the wife here i bet if yn really wanted to be evil and tell gojo’s dad to fire her HE WILL but oh well my sweet girl would never! but omg why she sound hella entitled in her head like “why were u here?” damn girl idk cos ur husband shoot a load in me to give him a baby? 😭😭😭

Anonymous said

sorry, sera, turns out ya man is stupid enough to mention a relationship that could ruin his plans. he was even very explicit about you being in her place. 😔

Anonymous said

LOL WHAT IS UP WITH SERA😭😩 “just bc you were the wife doesn’t mean you could see your husband” GIRL HUH?!?! she lowkey bitter😭

Anonymous said

OH GOD KNOWING FOR SURE THAT LITTLE SNIPPET OF SNEAK PEEK WAS SERA'S POV JUST MAKES ME MORE SURE THAT SERA IS AFTER HIS MONEY OR SOMETHING

"that would ruin his plans"

THAT SOUNDS SO OMINOUS

Anonymous said

I saw the sneak peak of Sera's reaction and like i hope she sees how sweet and kind MC actually is. I also hope she notices how Gojo treats MC and kinda argues with him.

I also saw the Double agent Sera ask and that got me thinking, Sera exposes Gojo, she and mc then starts dating(jkjk unless...)

Anonymous said

here comes the sera defenders in ur inbox in 3…2…1 “guys lets not hate sera shes prob kind and how would u feel if the man u love— [gunshots]” HDKSGKAGSODGW IM KIDDING 😭😭 ok 🙄 but ill be petty all i want im still the wife 💍👰‍♀️ OMG but u know about dramas where the mistress is ALWAYS so much braver and feels more entitled than the actual wife and the wife just cries and suffers while the mistress gets everything like HELLO i feel like we’ll see it with sera she will probably pull the “but im the one he loves” card like damn ok girl cant say anything back at that 😅💔

HELPJFFNJ ALL THESE ASKS ABT SERA AND IT’S JUST A SNEAK PEAK 😭 SHE’S TRULY THE NEXT SOPHIA

[loki-sun]

WHY AM I JUST NOW FINDING OUT ABOUT THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT FOR THOR 1????? IT WAS WRITTEN IN 2007 BY MARK PROTOSEVICH 

LIKE, IT’S SO DIFFERENT?

(Link to the pdf doc)

- the movie wouldn’t have been set in present time but during the time of vikings?

- Loki was only half frost giant, his mother was enchantress, so he was never blue at all, and was never considered a runt. When Odin finds him, he nearly kills him with a knife but then realizes he can’t because he looks aesir

- Loki and Thor weren’t able to fight and hurt each other because Odin and Frigga cast a spell on them when they were little

- there was Balder (and Nana) who was a friend and a mentor to Thor and Loki and Thor kills him which causes him to be banished to Midgard

-Odin was actually terrified of Thor’s thirst for glory and power and had doubts in him

- there’s Karnilla, (who’s basically more Sigyn, but still, she’s there)

- there’s no Jane, Darcy, Erik or SHIELD. Thor ‘befriends’ a viking farmer named Eiric tho

- both Thor and Loki have love interests, Thor is paired with Sif and Loki with Karnilla.

-Thor is kinda disrespectful to Sif and she slaps him bc he think she should be impressed by him and says she should kiss him etc....she slaps him instead

- also Loki and Karnilla have a steamy, lovemaking scene

- Karnilla is pregnant with Loki’s children

- Thor is captured and enslaved by the vikings on earth and has to compete to find mjolnir which is disguised as a stick

- Loki has closer relationship with Odin than with Frigga and Odin actually truly cares for him? like, he gives him Asgard and all and it’s revealed Frigga always had doubts in Loki

- Loki doesn’t hate frost giants, he accepts he’s one of them, doesn’t want to hurt or kill them and he sides with them

- Loki’s not angry about being a jotun, but because Odin and Frigga lied to him his entire life, killed his real father who had no quarrel against Asgard, stole things from Jotunheim and started a war with jotuns.

- Sif is a daughter of Heimdall

-Loki has a brother and a sister, who is a total sweetheart and is thrilled when she finds out Loki’s alive

- at the beginning Thor is a lot like Hela, he’s arrogant, power hungry, war loving and even Odin is afraid of what he could become. he’s really disrespectful towards Sif (who even slaps him) and Balder (and Loki calls him out on that) but he goes through some serious character development. even though Thor then realizes Loki tricked him and had a hand in his banishment, he doesn’t blame him for Balder’s death because it was his own doing and Loki knew what was in his heart. ambition, pride, vanity, the need for glory.

- Thor is one year older than Loki

- Loki has no ill feelings towards Thor and loves him and idolizes him

- there’s a scene where Loki, after finding out about his heritage, goes to his chambers, gets naked and self harms by trying to burn off a birthmark that indicates he’s one of the jotun royal family members

- Thor is gifted mjolnir by Ivaldi and after Odin banishes Thor he orders Ivaldi to give mjolnir to Loki, but Ivaldi disobeys Odin, enchants mjolnir and sends it to earth disguised as a stick

 - Loki and Karnilla resurrect Malekith

- odinsleep is something no one but Odin, Frigga and Balder knows about, so just before Odin goes out, he explains it to Loki who then uses that knowledge to trick asgardians into thinking Odin’s dead

-Odin apologizes to Loki for all the lies and he begs him to punish him, and leave everyone else be.

- Loki literally dusts one of the einherjar…like the whole Thanos snap thingy? he can do that.

-Loki uses only magic, he’s like on another level power wise, he can even manipulate fire, water, ice... and levitate

- Thor nearly dies when a berserker cuts him but Sif heals him.

- after killing Loki’s brother, Thor tries to make peace with Loki, that they could forget the past, start anew etc and Loki is a bit touched, admits that he wishes he could and then he and Karnilla escape to Midgard and Thor becomes a protector of the nine realms.

- Karnilla enchants a prophecy while she’s pregnant that her and Loki’s unborn children will cause Ragnarok

 - the focus is more on Loki than on Thor, even though the movie is literally named ‘Thor’. Apparently, judging by what the trades had to say, marvel was very pleased with this version of the first Thor movie, but had to change everything because they estimated the budget would be too big (around 300million)

- also, they literally described Thor as “a well muscled adult with rugged good looks who exudes power and a sense of entitlement. He’s a bit of a dandy, but a confident and skilled warrior who engenders fierce loyalty from friend and bitter hatred from enemies.”

- and Loki as “on Thor’s right is his cherished brother, Loki. Darkly handsome and extremely clever, Loki is a sensitive soul who clearly idolizes his older sibling.”

[piscesangelina]

did you see that luka st*ns who are salters are now hating on zoe?

...Why am I surprised LMFAO. They’re probably bitter than unlike Luka, Zoe’s introduction was, idk, actually important for the plot AND that she was given personality from the start (I like him, but it’s the truth; they really could’ve given him more). The same applies to Kagami. But seriously, it isn’t surprising that they have to shit on every character who dare be important in order to make them feel ✨ valid ✨ for liking Luka and living in a world where he’s some sort of savior. And I would know, because I was in the popular ones’ server, and even though this could potentially spark something (I don’t even care, though. This is my truth and I want to speak about it because I have the right to), I have seldom met anyone online or IRL who comes close to how incredibly rude and exclusive they are. It’s even more fucking insane that they’re literal grown adults (of which some have young children), but are trying to live out their Mean Girls fantasies as middle-aged women with children who are bitter old hags online bc their favorite ship isn’t endgame. (Yes, I’m an adult, too; but I’m still really young) And if they have to do that by being mean to teenagers and young adults on the internet, then honestly fuck them lmao. They need to grow the hell up.

And when I say exclusive and elitist, here is a prime example that in the moment, made me so upset and angry: I mentioned it being my birthday back at the end of February both the day before it and the day of, but not one person wished me a happy birthday. Of course, they weren’t required to, but in a public server with lots of people, saying happy birthday whenever someone’s birthday comes around is honestly just common courtesy. Period. But three days later, it was the birthday of one of the ‘main’ people there (because honestly, they act like a clique), and EVERYONE wished her a happy birthday and hell, they even wrote her gift fics. Now, I’m not asking for anyone to write me something for my birthday because it isn’t something I’m entitled to, but doing that and wishing Person B a happy birthday while not at least saying HBD to Person A is so rude and unnecessary; like... ugh. I’m not upset about it anymore, but it still was unfair and honestly fucked up.

But back on topic, the things they say and write about certain characters is so fucking stupid and honestly disgusting when it comes to say, Alya or Adrien. Like- if you’re gonna write a salt fic and shit on Chat Noir for renouncing his Miraculous in the NY special and have Luka swoop in to make Marinette feel oh-so special but will ignore the fact that he was literally traumatized by what he (accidentally) did to Uncanny Valley and impulsively reacted, and support your friends’ fics in which they call Adrien a doormat, enabler or spineless (which is fucking AWFUL), I genuinely hope you fucking choke. It isn’t a ‘mAtTeR oF oPiNiOn’ when it’s a big slap in the face to child abuse victims (including myself), and quite frankly, you’re just a piece of shit. What he did wasn’t on purpose, and saying that it ‘heaps more pressure on Ladybug’ is honestly stupid and shows that these bitches probably didn’t even watch the special lmao. And if they did, it’s probably a saltified version that they heard about off of their salty besties’ blog(s). And they’ll constantly talk about how Alya is such a bad friend when fucking Gang of Secrets and Sentibubbler literally exist along with many many more episodes where she isn’t this evil trickster they want her to be, and they’ll suddenly be stealing her strengths as a character to give to Juleka (no hate to Juleka bc I do love her), which IS racist bc they’re tearing down a WOC and judging her based off of like, one or two maybe even three episodes and replacing her role with a white girl.

TL/DR: Their ‘opinions’ on the characters in this show are genuinely not opinions, they’re fucking harmful and disgusting and DESERVE to be called out. When you let ‘opinions’ enforce harmful stereotypes and labels for child abuse victims and people of color (but especially black people, and Alya is black), they aren’t opinions anymore; they’re just plain awful, insulting BS. And that’s why I genuinely cannot reason with salters or Lukanette shippers who are ‘critical’ of Adrien and Alya.

So honestly? It’s no surprise they dislike Zoe. I’m sorry if my rant got boring, anon; but I’ve wanted to say something about this for a while now and it all just got out in my response to you lmao.

[svnofachilles]

— UPDATED INTRO.

(eventually will have a bio page done for him but in the mean time have this very long intro post ! )

max irons, thirty-one, aryndale, male ––– i believe that is ALEXANDER julius FREY, the KING of ARYNDALE. they are THIRTY-ONE years old and are known to be very +PASSIONATE & +JUST, though they can also be very -DOGMATIC & -AMBITIOUS. he reminds me of a collection of hunting trophies; all predators, the sharp smell of early winter in the dawn air, the calm before a gruesome battle, a bear sigil, being brave even when you feel afraid, a heavy fur cloak, blood seeping into snow and earth. ( chai, 22, gmt-8, she/her )

inspired by: king arthur (merlin, camelot and other shows/books/movies), achilles (greek myth), prince andrei (war & peace)

T R I V I A

𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦: xander (goes exclusively by this, hates being called alexander or alex)

𝘢𝘨𝘦: 31

𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘦: king

𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: heteroflexible

𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘴: married

𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘺: aryndale

𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦: aryndale

P E R S O N A

𝘻𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘤 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯: leo sun aries moon scorpio rising

𝘮𝘣𝘵𝘪: estj

𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴: passionate, just, charismatic, honorable, open-minded, flirtatious

𝘯𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴: venegful, gluttonous, arrogant, dogmatic, ambitious, capricious

𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴: horses/horseback riding, swords, combat/military, bitter red wine, savory foods, his kids, pretty women, hunting, archery, meat, gold, power, sunrises, waking up early, summer time, painting/sculpting, fencing, jousting, sports/athletics, being in charge, nature, animals, fur cloaks, being praised

𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴: being questioned, being told what to do, the cold, iilyria, political meetings, religion, women drama, beer, spears/lances, the ocean, boat rides, diplomacy, studying, rooms with no windows, roses, sweet things, coffee, mushrooms, card games

P H Y S I C A L

𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴: dark hazel, thick eyelashes

𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘳: light brown, naturally curly

𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵: 6 ft 3 inches

𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵: 205 pounds

𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵: bonfire smoke, evergreen trees, iron, and horses

C O N N E C T I O N S

𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴: marcus frey (called marcus the magnificent by the people) (predecessor, deceased), tbd frey

𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: titus frey (older brother, FORMER CROWN PRINCE, deceased) corrine frey (younger sister), catelyn frey (younger sister), tbd frey, tbd frey

𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦: isabel frey

𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴: genevieve brewer

𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯: elijah frey (son, legitimate, CROWN PRINCE, 6), gaia frey (daughter, legitimate, 3)

𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘦𝘴: tbd ryback (king of iilyria)

𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴: tbd.

𝘯𝘦𝘶𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘭: roland boucher (king of gondour)

𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴: tbd.

𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴: tbd.

𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘴: tbd.

H E A D C A N O N S

is a total extra brat?? and goes by xander bc he was named after his grandfather, (so technically he is king alexander II) and wanted to be more distinguished from him than just being “junior” or “the second”, so he opted to start going by xander in his early teens. basically wants to be mr. different™ and unique.

often referred to as “the bear king” or “the wild king” for his fiercesome reputation in battle and affinity/talented reputation for hunting

the second born son and child of the frey family, he was the first spare prince to be born in the family. the son directly after the heir, the beloved crown prince. xander was always bitter about this fact, and always secretly believed he would make a better king than his elder brother. his father had xander trained and educated alongside his older brother, training them both as his heirs though naming titus his official heir. the other princes weren’t trained or educated the same way, treated as regular princes. xander spent most of his childhood playing second fiddle to his older brother- it didn’t help either that they were so close in age (two years apart). xander was constantly treated as the replacement, the back up. his elder brother titus was loved by the people and the obvious favorite of their parents.

alexander is still secretly wracked with guilt over his brothers death, he spent years secretly wishing he could be the crown prince, wishing his older brother didn’t exist— so he feels partly to blame no matter how irrational that is. another reason for his guilt is that he wasn’t there with his father and brother during the invasion, unable to save them. he feels like if he had been there things might’ve been different. the day of the invasion he had been left behind at the castle, while his father and brother went to the border to check on a strange message from one of the generals stationed there.

has the most military achievements and prowess of all his siblings. before becoming the king he had had plans of becoming a general and pursing a military career. he excels the most in physical matters, athletics, combat, military strategies etc. his weaknesses lies in academics/diplomacy/politics (outside of strategy and philosophy). so a bit of a himbo lol.

becoming king has begun to change him, his ambitions have been growing as well as his sense of entitlement and arrogance. he’s also started to become increasingly promiscuous— when he was younger he was never a casanova (but not a prude in anyway either). but lately the longer he’s been king the more tempted he’s become to have his cake and eat it too. why not explore all the perks of being king?

due to his father and brother dying defending aryndale from the iilyrian attempted invasion years ago, the arynite king hates iilyria and has no plans for peace. he wants justice and revenge, and has secret goals of invading and conquering iilyria for himself.

he loves his county and people deeply, and would do anything for them. he hopes his reign will be a golden era for his people, he wants to expand aryndales power, make them richer and stronger. he also wants to improve education and social/economical issues within his country. desperately wants to do the best he can for his country— and wants to be remembered fondly by history.

met his wife isabel when they were kids, grew up together— she was even his first kiss. no one was surprised when he asked her to marry him at age 21, and no one was surprised when she said yes. it’s safe to say she is his first love, though in recent years the strain of being king, the war, and his recent subtle personality changes and infidelity have started to cause conflicts between them.

definitely can be a bit of a bully or shit starter at times, though my bb really does mean well at the end of the day— he just has a really bad way of showing it most of the time.

in regards to sexuality, for the most part he is straight— but he has some gay tendencies he doesn’t want to see or admit to. definitely closeted and/or confused. he has a strong preference for women and for the most part ignores the occasional rare homosexual attractions he feels.

loves his children dearly and wants more!! a lot more lol! having a lot of siblings of his own, he wants a large family for his own kids. he currently has two children by his wife isabel frey, the queen, a six year old son named elijah and a three year old daughter named gaia.

as for his mistress, genevieve, he met her within the last 9-12 months and was immediately taken by her. currently she isn’t his official royal mistress (yet), but everyone knows about their affair (unofficially, so everyone gossips behind closed doors about it at the moment).

in true leo fashion he’s kind of !! dramatic ? passionate ! and has a temper ! he also has a taste for luxury and extravagance, especially lately. also very flirtatious and cocky, flirts a lot without meaning it in recent years— increasingly so. enjoys teasing and getting a rise out of others as well! but also being king now, he is very careful about hiding his emotions, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses now. feigning an air of haughty indifference most of the time.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

answers (16)

Anonymous said: A lot of these secrets are really serious and sad so heres a lighter one: me and my sister are knitting christmas socks for the whole family as a surprise. Ive never knit a pattern before but im really good!!

Amazing!! 

Anonymous said: idk if your still doing this but my secret is I fear im a terrible person who only acts nice to rick people into liking her and ik that actually does make me an okay but i still feel im doing it for the wrong reasons and someones going to get too close and find out the truth and hate me

That’s very self aware of you, I think-- probably too self aware. You’re absolutely right to say it’s the trying that matters, but I’m not gonna blame you for worrying about it. I have similar concerns about myself sometimes. I’m aware that for me personally they’re partially justified. Some of my kindness is self motivated. 

I think though (and it seems like you already know this) it’s the effect of the kindness that matters. Maybe it’s better for me if I have “pure” intentions, but if I don’t, I should still do the kind things anyway, right? Because at the end there’s still going to be good. And there’s nothing bad about actively trying to be good, which is all we’re doing. 

Anonymous said: my secret is that ive been chasing after a dream my whole life but im not sure ill ever achieve it. times running out and i dont know what to do if i cant. i feel like my whole life has been put on standby and i dont know the way out. i know ill be okay in the end but i dont know what the end will be and that scares me.

Shit that’s relatable. You really will be okay, but it’s terrifying in the meantime, isn’t it? To have those turning points bearing down on you?

Things will happen. You can’t stop that. Time is gonna continue, but you’ll still be there at the end. Your head’s already in the right place. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that I really, really like one of my friends, but he has a girlfriend and slept with one of my best friends when they were both super drunk. I want the feelings to stop and go back to being just friends, because I honestly think I don't have a chance, but there is a small part of me that doesn't want to let go. I don't know what to do.

Well that’s a bitch of a situation, isn’t it? Romantic feelings aren’t really my area, but I understand holding on to things you consciously want to let go. Emotions always feel like part of me, you know? I don’t want to tear them away. Sometimes it’s better to do it, though. I don’t know from a few sentences if that’s the case here, but I hope you find the way that’s the best for you 

Anonymous said: My secret is I used to be suicidal, in my pre/early teens. I had realised I was lesbian in a small, largely Catholic town and hated myself for it. I was awful at social situations and couldn’t make friends. I hated myself for having baby fat because I danced part time. Then as I got older I slowly got more confident until one day a friend died I realised that holy shit I used to be suicidal and I could have killed myself. I’m terrified that I might get like that again and actually do it

Honestly, and I know this is gonna sound cliche, but I’m always in awe of folks like you. I don’t handle my own mental health issues super well most of the time, and to hear about someone growing? Changing? Getting better? Amazing

Anonymous said: If you're still taking these... my secret is that I don't want to give birth to children ever, and would consider adopting instead (when I'm older), but if I were to voice that to any family member or even an acquitance, they would shun me for it and make sure they try to talk me out of it. I really hate how conservative people put so many expectations on my shoulders

Heyyyyyy same. I’m not planning on birthing any kids, but my parents have come down pretty heavily on the single-women-should-not-adopt-children thing, which is.... bullshit. I’m gonna adopt some kids one day, whether they like it or not. 

You know your own mind and your own plans. Other people don’t have to be happy about them, even (maybe especially) family members. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that I’m a bad friend. I don’t make time for the few friends I have and spend most my time working or being in my room. They deserve better than me.

I don’t think you’re a bad friend. Not being around isn’t bad-friend behavior. You’re not hurting anyone. You’re not doing anything wrong. And I certainly don’t think that it justifies the idea that they should leave you. Relationships are always kinda a difficult balancing act, but you don’t have to be perfect at balancing it, you know?

Anonymous said: My secret is that I'm extremely self-sufficient, I've always had to be. But because there's no one else taking care of me it's so hard to invest my time in others because I'll neglect my own mental state. It make sit hard to develop stable relationships. Every once in a while I re-realize that I'm no one's priority so I have to be my own. And it just sucks.

Shit anon that’s really really rough. It makes me sad with you. I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong, because I don’t know, do I? But I hope you are. 

Anonymous said: My secret is I imagine myself as OCs I create for certain fandoms like Young Justice or Castlevania, and I spend all my time daydreaming of how I would act in episodes and how I would interact with the characters. I think it’s because I’m not satisfied with my life, and I’m also afraid that this makes me either weird or crazy.

Oh biggest mood

I do that too. I’m not in a position to say whether that’s a good or bad thing, but I like to think it just makes us creative. For me, it eventually found an outlet in writing, and that’s been a big source of joy in my life. I had some unpleasant experiences sharing that stuff with people in the past, but for me? I don’t worry about it anymore. I know a lot of people that do similar stuff.

Write some fanfiction, maybe :) You might be real good at it

Anonymous said: My secret is I’m secretly attracted to people who are better than me at stuff

That’s not really my area, but seems to me that’s a pretty good thing to be attracted to. One of the sweetest things I hear around school is people talking about how their partners are going to be such good lawyers. It’s cute. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that my anxiety is crushing me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Oh, anon. I just.... feel you. I’ve been really struggling lately with the idea that other people move through life without that handicap, and it amazes and angers me. Why don’t I get that? Why am I like this? It isn’t fair. 

And it isn’t. It just isn’t. You didn’t ask to death match your brain every second of the day. You’re not any worse than everyone else, so why do you have to suffer? I don’t know. I really don’t.

The only happy thing I can say to you is people do heal. It’s bullshit that it takes so much time and effort, but it is possible. I’m better off now than I was five years ago, even if it did take five years and a whole lot of therapy, medication, and energy. You shouldn’t have to fight like this, but you can, and you can win. 

Anonymous said: My secret is Im so bitter most of the time that I cant be happy for others. Me and my best friend are both singers but I can never be happy for her when she gets compliments or any success bc im jealous and im scared I'll never learn to be selfless and happy for other people

You’re only human. You have human emotions. You have every right to feel them. The only thing that matters is your choices, because that’s the only thing you can control. 

I’m so sorry you’re scared. That’s another emotion you have every right to feel 

Anonymous said: My secret is that sometimes I hated myself for not express what I felt because I thought they'll hate me or make distance of me but I'm learning to express my feelings to others and try to be more confidence :) I hope you'll be brave too and do whatever you want to do 💜

I wanna be anon when I grow up 

Anonymous said: My secret is that my hands hurt all the time but in different ways, and I’m scared to get help because I’m scared they’ll tell me I’m making it up or being dramatic.

Man do I hate the shit people put you through to get medical help. Everybody’s entitled to ask, aren’t they? So why are we all making that difficult? Why are we making people feel bad about their own pain?

I understand your fear, but I hope you start asking questions anyway. Other people’s opinions about it aren’t your fault

Anonymous said: My secret is that my dermatillomania has gotten way worse since I got to college, so I’m having to wear headscarves again to keep myself from picking my scalp. I smuggled my scarf collection out of my room without telling my parents.

I’m sorry, anon. That’s difficult. That sucks. That’s bullshit. 

Anonymous said: my secret is that when one of my family members says something homophobic I'll laugh and agree because I'm afraid that they'll disown me if there's any shred of proof that I'm LGBT and it makes me feel like such filth

That’s not your fault. It’s theirs for making you feel unsafe, because your safety really should be your first priority! That’s okay! You’re not being a bad person by doing it. You’re just protecting someone. You’re allowed to make that someone you

[k-pham]

hi y’all it’s a and I’m continuing my trend of never doing anything valid and playing the same character with different faceclaims. also this blog is so... empty rn pls skjdfshd

Meet Kiet Anh “Kit” Pham. 17. Slytherin. Seventh year. DE.

(+) sensitive, loyal, charming, organized

(-) glib, arrogant, spoiled, impulsive, reckless, insecure, misguided, offensive

Make no mistake. You were never good.

From the start, you were a menace. As your mother tells it, you started to wail the instant you took your first breath—and you haven’t stopped since.

As soon as you were able to walk, you tore through your mother’s rose garden, grabbed fistfuls of thorns to rip out the flowers. For your seventh birthday, when gave she gave you the wrong gift, you smashed your grandmother’s heirloom vase against the wall. You’ve always been more trouble than you were worth. You’ve always been a terror.

But, let’s be honest— that’s not what you wanted to be.

So what if cruelty has always been your first resort? If consequence is still far from your mind? You learned the taste of blood before honey, salt before sweet. Your first bite tasted bitter, and the sting took time to fade.

You were never good. But that only was because you didn’t know how to be—

-          

When the divorce happened, you watched your mother pack his things from the corner. When she leaned in to tell you goodbye, you flinched. You told her you hated her. But that was only because you were afraid.

You see, being a monster is easy. And admitting you care is hard.

You were never good. No, that’s for certain. You’ve said too many bad things. You’ve slammed too many doors. You’ve thrown too many fits.

But oh, how you’ve always wished you were.

kiet anh pham (nicknamed kit) was born to parents who, he was mostly certain, never loved him.

it’s not like they were incapable of it. they tried their hardest. even as their own marriage fell apart, there was still love there. at least for his younger sister, mailan, for for his other siblings.

but that was easy. everyone loved mailan. she was cute and soft and she did all the right things. kit- was-, well, kit. he had never really made it easy for them.

he was the only son of a high-society pureblooded family and he acted like it: rich and spoiled, he grew up a little monstrous and more than a little disrespectful. he would do things without really thinking of the consequences and make more trouble than he really meant to.

looking back, he was probably just acting out because he knew what was coming. he knew his parents were going to leave each other. and he, well, all he ever knew was the only time they ever did anything together was when they yelled at him.

in retrospect, all that did was probably make the divorce happen faster. 

but he didn’t know.

he just wanted them- to tell him no. 

he didn’t think they would really leave.

honestly, for kit, the only thing good that came out of his parent’s divorce is- z. 

while the two of them had known of each other before and might have even considered each other friends, when he gained a new brother, kit saw a light at the end of a tunnel. 

it was all fun and games at first. they shared a bunk bed and a room. z taught him about pokemon and beyblades and kit did his best to pretend not to be interested. they played aurors and robbers. they got up to tons of mischief, stayed up way too late, talked way too much. so, though kit didn’t stop being trouble, it was- the best thing in the world to have someone all too willing to share the blame and laugh. he had always liked being a brother, but, with z, he found that he loved– having one.

tw abuse mention and then, i guess, bc all good things come to an end.  he got old enough to understand what had happened to z and his mother. and, filled with deep-rooted hatred for the muggles that raised z, unable to reconcile that anger into anything else but broad generalizations, he ended up joining the death eaters. 

it was actually a targeted recruitment (wanted connection here, i suppose). the phams and diggorys were well-connected and well-off, but not de-aligned. someone offered kit guidance and purpose and preyed upon his already existent hatred for muggles and voila! he signed up— and (unbeknownst to him at the time) signed away z’s, mailan’s and his own futures.

i think right now– to put it in the most concise terms. kit is having– growing pains. z has withdrawn from the family, doing work for the de higher ups that he clearly doesn’t care to tell kit about. mailan is working as a double agent for the de, in direct contact with the student leaders, and there’s so much that she has to hide. safe to say, they’re both doing- better than he is. 

so what if he’s jealous? that he joined up first and everyone else in his family is doing bigger things than he is. so what if he’s sad? he no longer has the confidante and friend he used to have. he’s the oldest brother and none of his siblings even need him anymore. and so what if he’s scared? that all of them are in over their heads. that he got them into a bad decision. that—  mailan and z going to do what his mother did and leave him the second they find out what the world is like without him.

he’s never made it easy to be loved, he knows, but that’s never made it hurt any less.

this time, kit is thinking things through. he’s taking precautions. before his mother left, kit begged for him to stay. he lashed out. he threw a tantrum. he cried. he ended up saying some things that can never be taken back. that was pathetic. this time, he won’t do any of that.

so what if z wants to be distant? go. kit doesn’t care. 

so what if mailan is risking her life every single day? that’s all fine. kit won’t worry.

so what if the death eaters don’t want him in their uber-secret and top-level ranks? okay. kit has other things to do.

within the last year, kit has proclaimed his lifelong goal is to photosynthesize, a concept, he entirely doesn’t grasp but has heard of through his vague understanding of muggle science. “drink, soak in the sun and breathe good? sounds okay to me.” 

he’s very purposely going to not care about things. he’s going to do nothing that doesn’t benefit him directly. he’s not going to care at all. he was never good at being loved, never good at being good— so now he won’t even try. 

it’s a good plan. after all, in this world, you can really only be certain of one thing: people leave. you have to look out for yourself.

more rando points and introspection

to break things down in the most concise way, I think I need to talk about the connections and difference between Kit’s actions and his feelings. i think that kit has big feelings and just no way of communicating them. he’s afraid of looking weak, of being vulnerable. he’s afraid that he’ll give them something else not to love.

fuccboi hypebeast naruto runner mode x3000

kit absolutely dresses like a Naruto character 100% of the time

im mostly thinking abt this meme  but also he would dress like kakashi n sasuke in a heartbeat

um? how to say– a lil bitch. literally a gremlin.  a virgin, but like… in that lies about it bc he’s ashamed and insecure about it. if he got laid once… maybe it would solve all his and his family’s problems. probably not. but lbr… he wouldn’t mind it.

lies about a lot more than that too, just to be clear.

biggest lies are “i DON’t LOVE u.” and “I DON’t CARE.”  but nearly everything he says is a lie.

“mUGGLES n muggleborns ARE BACKWARDS and THEY HAVE NOTHING REDEEMABLE about THEM” a lie, first off just in the not true sense, but also kit doesn’t even really believe that. he likes the muggle things that z has shown him and also, likes z, even though he is not a pureblood.

that being said has literally no understanding of muggle concepts beyond what z has told him and even then grasps very little

kit vs catholicism is… v bad

i can really see kit, like when his parents were fighting, getting in between them with tears in his eyes. “i’m the prince of this house! and i’m telling you not to fight anymore and also you have to stay together for me!!!” this equal parts entitlement, ludicrousness and … just desperation is… altogether kit for me.

even tho mailan and z are the MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE In THE WORLD TO HIM, he has absolutely put them down publicly, sometimes (recently) even to their face. it’s his way of saying im insecure and i don’t care that u guys are leaving me and being much more accomplished than me

yeah he a soft DUMb. SO WHAT ABOUT IT.

·        

·        Bc I’m at character saturation, I literally have to use my other characters to describe him so here we go.

probably most like cress— in that they’re both opinionated, misguided and committed to the de. They’re just… misguided in different ways. Cress doesn’t really lie about the way he feels. Cress genuinely thinks what he is doing is right. He thinks the sacrifices he has made are worth it. Cress has some level of altruism (even tho…he is selfish too). Cress is smart and calculated and, well, frankly impressive. Kit is the opposite of all of that. He’s reactionary, impulsive, selfish and… inadequate in so many ways.

one thing of note is that he can’t talk himself out of situations like Cress can. Kit makes mistakes— and has to live with them. Cress doesn’t blame himself but will “accept responsibility”. Kit blames himself.

kit is also way less behaved that cress. cress will make a bad prank and laugh if he stands by it and then, say sorry after a little bit. kit will do something absolutely awful and feel awful and still laugh while hating himself wildly. kit will also never apologize.

like rose, he’s having a truly rough time with growing up. he wishes things could go back to the way they were. but unlike rose, he refuses to cling to his childhood innocence. he’s pushing himself to grow up way faster than he’s actually comfortable with and that’s really causing intense angst. kit is exactly the kind of person who has and will make fun of rose for things that even he himself are guilty of. 

apparently I also have a thing for older siblings bc … rose, jasper and kit are all really protective of their siblings. But while rose and jasper mainly manifest this in healthy ways (if anything, probably … a little too overprotective), kit is a tiny lil shitball full of irrationality. bursts of being way too controlling and, when that’s not received well, sulking in a corner.

lowkey… he’s awful, but, because he’s motivated purely out of irrationality and spite and not logic, he’s my de character with the most chance for redemption.he’s … awful. he acts awful. he thinks muggles n muggleborns r backwards n dont deserve rights. he’s half cocky quips and half … just like offensive comments. gross. when ur a pureblood rich boy, u can care about literally nothing and say whatever u want get away with it. the only problem is… he does care. he cares so much. he’s worried about his bb sister and his step bro, but doesn’t have the emotional strength to show it. he worries about the future n what he’s going to do. but most of all, he worries that if people know that he cares… that they’ll think he’s weak (which tbh he is).

wanted connections

tba

terrible de friends!!! photosynthesize with kit

good friends !!! pls tell kit he’s being awful. this one is limited bc... he truly is awful!!!

a de mentor!!!!! v important for kit’s sense of self!!! bc this mentor approached him asnd was like wassup!! wanna have a sense of community and got a lot of misplaced anger??? kit: hell yeah my dude also i got two juicy siblings that can convert with me

a tutor! this girl only plays dums!!! kit no es tan inteligente como cress o rose n el necesita ayuda!!!!

[diguerra-moved]

Blood Elf / Survivor of the Fall Alleria AU

send me an AU and i’ll tell you 5 of my headcanons for it // accepting.

alleria still went to draenor with the alliance expedition. instead of ending up in the same place where turalyon is when they escape draenor though, she ended up returning to azeroth like khadgar and the rest which is why she’d be on quel’thalas

she would do everything within her reach to actually go to the human kingdoms and tell those bitches to do something instead of abandoning their allies because well, she was very personally involved with the alliance of lordaeron, even more so being the representative of quel’thalas. lordaeron is ofc in no shape to help, gilneas is hiding behind the wall, there’s an undead plague going on so she probably wouldn’t really manage to go there personally but she would try to contact the rest of the alliance. that wouldn’t change anything probably, so survivor of the fall alleria is 100% pissed at the alliance they can all die she doesn’t care at all anymore any respect she had for humans died with the sunwell 

she still hates the horde. she’ll always hate the horde, she won’t be friendly to trolls, she despises orcs. yes, even thrall, though she’d be more tolerant of him maybe. I don’t think she would leave the sin’dorei bc of their joining the horde though, because she would have been there to see why they desperately needed allies, and the horde were the ones to offer them a hand, but most of all because she loves her land and her people and her loyalty is to them no matter what. that said, by garrosh’s time alleria would be like WELL WHAT DID YOU EXPECT THEY’RE ORCS

there’d be a lot of survivor’s guilt going on with her, and witnessing sylvanas’ death would destroy her because it would basically be lirath all over again. alleria is 90% sadness and anger and wanting to see arthas menethil die the worst possible death in that verse. the other 10% are also rage but also love for anyone she has left and for quel’thalas and her people, all used as a motivator to keep going and survive and get quel’thalas back on its feet. 

she’d be ranger general after sylv (sorry halduron), not only because she’s the last windrunner left, but because this time she wouldn’t refuse the mantle. she’d feel very guilty that sylvanas was in the position she was because she didn’t step up to be ranger general after their mother’s death. and she would feel very responsible for it — it wouldn’t be that she feels she’s entitled to it, it would be she’d feel it’s her duty, because she failed the previous two ranger generals. so yeah she’d be ranger general and she’d be ruthless

idc what anyone has to say she wouldn’t turn her back on sylvanas even for a minute. yes, be wary at first bc she wouldn’t know if it’s her sylvanas but the moment she even glimpsed something of her sister there, she’d definitely not shun her.

she raises arator in quel’thalas, he survives the fall too bc otherwise she would just let herself die, she struggles with being a mom and all particularly when she’s so bitter about things but she still loves him more than anything and he’s like 95% of her motivation to keep going and doing her best. 

vereesa leaving she could accept but vereesa not coming to help them she would resent and vereesa taking part in the purge of dalaran? dead to her

[lesbeamofsunshine]

alright so in 11th grade English my class read The Catcher in the Rye. totally normal thing to read in high school English. also totally normal? hating the book you have to read for English class. which I did.

I also hated the way English teachers talk about symbolism. and for some reason my English teacher was very focused on the meaning behind this motherfucker buying himself a red hat. like why was she so focused on the hat? I still dont understand it. and tbh I'm bitter about it. so now I shall spill my thoughts on the matter.

right so some of this is mainly about my own issues. such as: 11th grade was awful. and I never really felt, like, settled in that class bc in the first few weeks of the school year I had a different English teacher and then switched classes to make room for something else in my schedule, so I always felt like I was behind in what my new teacher was teaching. 11th grade was also the year I dropped out. I actually dropped out of high school, like, I still can't believe that's a thing that happened, but it fucking did, so here we are. that's another issue; we're here to talk about "fuck Holden Caulfield's red hat"

I did not like the book. like what's so appealing about a book about horny teenage boy boarding students? its not. that situation sounds like a fucking nightmare. NIGHTMARE, I tell you!!

the main character is also a boring incel. he's all "~ohhhh, woe is me, no one understands me~" and its like shut up bitch boy we understand that you're pathetic. just go to class and do your homework you entitled brat. he's also like, a pathological liar and he has like no actual characterization other than the lies he tells and "he's a misunderstood misfit shrimp boy"

so anyway on this kid's romp around town with his daddy's money, he sees a hat in a shop and he decides to buy this hat and its described in great detail and its just. it's a fucking hat. like hat, buy hat. how is that any different from anything else he's done tonight as a smarmy truant? maybe it would be more insightful to ask why he hired a child prostitute even though he didn't plan on having sex with her? what does that say about how he views women? sure, he wasn't completely deplorable; he didn't rape the girl he paid to rape, but he still bought her and wasted her time simply because he could, because she was property. so ex-fucking-scuse me if I don't want to wax on about how a goddamn hat reveals something about this fucker's humanity. because he has none. he's just a little piece of shit.

and who fucking cares if the hat is red?! sometimes hats are red!! maybe red is just a really good color for a hat! it's not unprecedented!!

[susandsnell]

it's been bugging me for a while now, but five worst parts of the dark Knight and one good part. bc I know you hate the movie 😂😂

boh. oh my gosh. b please don’t hate me.  😂😂

Five worst parts of the Dark Knight: 

5. The Filmmaking. More specfically: LONG AND WASHED OUT PALETTE. IT’S SO FUCKING LONG. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE OVER TWO AND A HALF HOURS WITH TEN PLOTS TO WRAP UP AND HAVE NO FUCKING COLOURS IN IT. WE GET IT, NOLAN, A MAN DRESSED UP AS A BAT BRINGS YOU NO JOY AND SO NOW WE HAVE TO NOT HAVE ANY JOY IN OUR HEARTS EITHER, THANKS A LOT. HERE I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN AT A MOVIE ABOUT BATMAN, BUT YOU SURE PROVED ME WRONG. 

4.  The Writing. Holy pretentious dialogue Batman! Where do I begin?Harvey Dent’s “I will state the theme of my arc in the most lazy and blatant foreshadowing speech until Emma Stone literally says she’s gonna die in the opening of The Amazing Spiderman 2″ gets quoted all the time and yes, superhero movies aren’t known for their subtlety, and not all great movies need to be subtle, but the “die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain” is egregious not only for the reasons I stated, but is a nauseating indicator of the film’s cynicism (despite what the boat climax purports to be proving!). Alfred’s “some men just want to watch the world burn” speech is similar albeit less facepalmy and Theme Stating. It’s blunt and heavy-handed, overly expositional, and very hit-you-over-the-head with regard to commentary. 

And here’s the thing! It could work in the context of the type of movie it is - The Shape of Water pretty much opens with a statement of the “who the real monster is” idea, but it works because the film is a fairy tale and presents itself as such, whereas this movie wants to have its cake and eat it too as a “super adult DEEP subtle COMPLEX movie” with incredibly clear and simple shit like this. Beyond that,  Nolan really has a dialogue issue in a lot of his works where nobody just has a fucking conversation. Everything has to be the most serious issue in the world or a ten thousand word treatise on the fundamental dichotomies of human nature or some shit you’d hear in a freshman philosophy 101 course from that guy nobody can tolerate who thinks he’s G-d’s gift because he wears glasses or some shit, I don’t know. Even the Joker, an agent of chaos, gets wrapped up into it! Like he is a showman, but the yammering and rambles of shit that isn’t even that deep but pretends to be gets on my damn nerves. And the worst part is that it comes at the expense of the characters. 

They don’t really…develop emotional bonds (even with Rachel, the token woman And Therefore the Object At Which Emotions are Thrown). I’m not invested because none of these characters are real or relatable or have human interactions. The script shouldn’t be an anchor that drowns the actors and suffocates the characters to the point that there’s no chemistry, no connection, no believable core. Alfred is practically Bruce’s father and I get no love out of them! Harvey and Bruce don’t connect at all! Lucius Fox, the only POC in the entire movie, is literally reduced to a plot device despite having moral concerns! 

3. That damn third act. This one takes special mention because it just pisses me off. It’s just too much! The chase with the Joker would be fine, but that’s not the end. His plot already extends way beyond where it would logically end (hence the bullshit runtime), but on top of that, on top of the drama with the escape ferries hammering you over the head with the point they’re trying to make about humanity and the obnoxious moralizing, and then you have Harvey’s fall to the dark side which I’m sorry, needed a lot more time than just getting crammed in to the back end of the movie. His descent into evil happened way too quickly. Two-Face is a great villain! But take Batman the Animated series (to me, the best adaptation of Batman there is, while not perfect) as an example: he’s established as a character and his descent into Two-Face receives the full focus of entire episodes and impacts the characters later on! Having him play sideshow to the Joker is a huge mistake, especially with something as huge at play as threatening Gordon’s family; it completely disrupts the focus of the plot and unnecessarily prolongs the film as a whole, but he goes down pretty easily in one of the movie’s shitty-ass fight sequences that I’d make their own point if there weren’t worse things because I can’t tell who’s punching who. And if you’re gonna rush Dent into villainy only to kill him, that makes his whole plot kinda a waste.

And The Dark Knight Rises was a lot more criticized than the Dark Knight, so how’s this for a fix for the entire trilogy? Don’t kill Two-Face. Keep Joker getting carted away gloating about having corrupted him, but then have Two-Face get away too.  Don’t make whitewashed lamely written Bane the villain of the next movie - instead, let the tail end of this movie build Two-Face up as the main villain for the final part! That way, you have more time for development, cohesiveness, consequences, exploration of themes, and you don’t waste characters. 

2.  Batman / Bruce Wayne’s entire character. Okay, so whenever I fawn over the Lego Batman movie and how it confronts the issue with modern portrayals of Bats and rightfully points out it’s not deep, he’s just a humongous dick, this feels like the source material of that popular portrayal. Of course, it pre-dates it in the comics - Miller and company are to blame for Grimdark Asshat who Batmansplains, but I feel like Dark Knight especially, for its success and greater accessibility as a film, is what widely propagated this portrayal. 

Secret identity or cape and cowl, there is a serious issue in your Batman movie if your Batman is terrible. He’s the protagonist, the titular character, and he’s fucking terrible! At best, Bruce Wayne is like…completely deadpan and not even there (I don’t give Bale shit because I think a lot of the fault lies with the writing/direction, Ledger was pretty much the only lively performance in the movie), placeholder of a protagonist. At worst, he comes off as deeply self-centered, self-aggrandizing, entitled, and violently unstable. I don’t care how bad the Joker is, when in custody, he still had legal rights, and Batman fucking tortured him. Even brutal criminals should not ever be tortured for information! And the film never engages with Bats reaching the point of beating people to a pulp as means of interrogation; he just feels conflicted about who’s worse and broods over it after the fact instead of, I don’t know, maybe thinking twice about torturing someone. The darker Marvel Netflix shows have their characters doing a lot of grim things, but the narrative or other characters almost always holds them accountable for it in ways beyond “aww, I feel kinda sad that I beat mentally ill people to a bloody pulp” – it challenges them often, or has other characters call them out. Batman just does this shit and people are like “oh you shouldn’t do that” and he’s like “AHHH I’M A MONSTER” and it borders into uncomfortable real-life implications with regard to authority and violence. There’s something to be said for introducing grey morality into superhero media, and I get the anti-hero thing, but Dark Knight codified the “white guy grimdark antihero being actually just a terrible fucking person who is the good guy in name only” deal we see in a lot of our media today.

It’s one thing to have a complex and flawed protagonist, but you have to balance that out with redeeming qualities, otherwise, he’s not even a fucking superhero! Again, I refer back to the 90s animated series: Batman has his moments of ruthlessness, but it’s balanced out with the philanthropy work we see in Bruce Wayne, and moments of genuine compassion that he shows many of his enemies – he apologizes genuinely to Two-Face, often tries to give them an out, and is frequently super kind to Harley Quinn, bringing her the dress she was accused of stealing when she was sent back to Arkham in the episode where she tried to redeem herself, and frequently trying to get her to acknowledge that the Joker is abusive towards her, as well as convince her she can still start over and be a good person. On top of which, Batdad is super popular in both the show and the comics. He’s frequently shown as having an especial soft spot for children; addition to all his adopted kids, you also have a lot of his interactions with children, whether as Bruce or as Batman, marked by gentleness, care, and compassion, largely based on what he went through as a child. 

You get no such moment in the Dark Knight. I cannot for the life of me think of kids who would go to see this as a Batman movie and leave looking up to Batman and wanting to be like him except on the surface level of wearing a cool costume and punching bad guys. There is nothing heroic or admirable about this Bruce. He fights crime as a vigilante - brutally, I might add -and this time, it comes off more as a desire for vengeance than a desire for justice, a point which the film raises, but ultimately doesn’t resolve or engage with in a satisfying character arc. 

The closest thing we get to humanizing this character is his relationship with Rachel, and even then, his interactions with her have heavy shades of Friendzoned Nice Guy which is especially bullshit because he won’t pursue a relationship with her yet is bitter about any decisions she might make about her own love life. He doesn’t even care about her that much as anything more than a conquest! He really doesn’t, and Alfred tearing up the letter proves that – with regards to how he behaves towards her, it really feels like it’s not so much that the letter would break his heart as it is that he’d resent her beyond the grave! 

Worse yet, he gives no shits about anyone else. This has a lot to do with Nolan’s scripts having a toxic masculinity problem where it’s not cool for guys to sympathize with or have emotional bonds amongst themselves, but like… he’s allies in a shared venture with the other characters, and nothing more. Alfred is practically his dad but you wouldn’t know that. Gordon, as revealed in TDKR, was kind to him after his parents’ deaths, but they’re just partners. Harvey is a rival for claiming a woman!  In other adaptations, Bruce and Harvey’s friendship is fleshed out a lot so the guilt and shock of his transformation into Two-Face is really impactful! Here, Bruce doesn’t really give a shit beyond it just being another thing to do. 

And that’s what heroism and motivations are to Batman in this - just a thing to do. I don’t want to watch a hero who’d rather bitch about doing good than actually just fucking do good, this is the safety of your city, not a school essay! He doesn’t really seem to want to help people, he wants to complain about people, but then thinks he’s so fucking special and such a snowflake martyr for still helping them regardless! It’s such a deeply childish and yes, toxically male mentality. I know it’s become a meme, but the ”I’m not the hero Gotham needs, but the hero that it deserves” line pisses me off so much for this reason, as well as the fact that he thinks that Gotham’s flaws justify the fact that he beats the fuck out of people and roars in their face to get answers; I think the perfect refutation to both that line and how a superhero protagonist that explores what heroism means can actually be found in Wonder Woman – “It’s not about deserve, it’s about what you believe.” In fact, that’s what made Wonder Woman so good (and feminist!) – it’s rejection of toxic masculine ideals and emphasis on love, compassion and vulnerability being one’s strength, and that people are inherently deserving of being saved if you believe in the good of the world - a much better treatise on good and evil than “see, people sometimes don’t explode boats but they still suck so it’s okay for a billionaire in furry cosplay to beat the shit out of mentally ill people because that’s what this city deserves, a guy who’s more into violence than saving people.” He just doesn’t care, so why the hell should we?

And there’s just no arc. He just reacts to shit and that’s it, which makes him boring when he’s not being a fucking maniac. Despite the script not allowing him to have feelings for other human beings, having him break his no-kill rule with Harvey at the end would have been impactful….had he not already broken it in Batman Begins by leaving White Ra’s al Ghul (Liam Neeson I love you but there is no reason to have whitewashed him or Talia the way Nolan did in the series - same as he did with Bane and arguably Catwoman since she’s been portrayed as a WOC many times before, actually come to think of it, there is a LOT of whitewashing in this trilogy) to his death. 

The film comes up with no real way to challenge it’s hero, have him grow, or change, or even show consequences for his failure to change, making him come off as stunted, unlikeable, and yeah, not much of a hero.

1. The sexism. (You knew this was coming, and yes, it is the worst part). I already mentioned how the men in this movie all fall prey to toxic masculinity as is common with Nolan characters, then even more characteristic of a Nolan movie is The Dead Girlfriend, Wife, or Daughter (you know, the only three things women could ever be!) of Sad White Guy(s). Rachel is the only female character (strike one) and she is handled nothing short of atrociously. Her entire job as a lawyer, intelligence, and hard work established in Batman Begins (which is also too grimdark but actually doesn’t piss me off half as much!) is hardly even mentioned and takes a backseat to her being a prize for the men (including her boss!) to throw feelings at and squabble over. While the male characters have no personality except for one characteristic and a goal because this script was written by an edgy thirteen year old boy, Rachel has no personality except to be a living emotional crutch/plot device. She does not exist as an autonomous individual outside her relationships to the men in the movie. Shit, she’s barely autonomous within these relationships! Bruce is a bitter little shit about her not wanting him back and we’re supposed to feel for him despite him literally offering her nothing relationship-wise for two movies and actively pushing her away at times! He feels he can’t be with her, but the framing is such that she shouldn’t have the right to be with anyone else, either! What the hell? I would even go so far as to say that her choosing Harvey just as she gets blown up, as well as how both of them got to that point, almost feel like the narrative punishing her for not wanting Bruce. More male entitlement bullshit. 

 And her fate…well, I mean. There’s a damn reason The Dark Knight is my go-to example when I want to explain what Fridging/Stuffed in the Fridge means. After having every possible stereotypical pigeonholed white girl trope tossed at her, Rachel is killed off callously for the character development and man angst of not one, but two self-obsessed stubbled white guys who make it about themselves and their right to act like phenomenal turds. She’s Helen of Troy – a woman blamed for people’s reactions to her (Harvey becoming Two-Face, Batsy or Bruce being saaaaaad, etc). She’s the Lost Lenore; a person reduced to how their death impacts their romantic interests.  We have reached peak Nolan here, and frankly, peak Batman too, because the franchise (comics, movies, etc) has always had this same problem with its treatment of women. Her fucking death isn’t even about her! It’s Harvey’s fucking villain origin and Bruce’s sad ending and Alfred’s resentment and note-burning and would she have waited, oh boo hoo, how about, did she have a fucking family, what would have happened if she hadn’t been murdered young, et fucking cetera. 

The thing that really gets me is that Rachel is by no means the worst treated woman in speculative fiction (especially not those that make a claim to some degree of intellectualism); she’s white, so her death is beautifully tragic and she’s put on a pedestal rather than being subjected to racialized misogynistic tropes (being treated more roughly by the narrative, having her suffering ignored or erased altogether, her death being callously ignored except for a throwaway line of dialogue, etc), she’s not unnecessarily and gratuitously sexually brutalized for shock value (that looks uncomfortably like fetishism at times) like the women on Game of Thrones or in nu!Bond movies, or, if we’re still in the Batman universe, Barbara Gordon in any iteration of the Killing Joke (which is another tentpole of misogyny in the Batman universe and I fucking hate it and it clearly influenced the Dark Knight, so, chicken, egg). She isn’t forcibly sterilized and her inability to get pregnant treated as making her a freak like AOU Black Widow. She has no pointless and insulting fanservice scenes like Carol Marcus in her underwear in Star Trek: Into Darkness. Her suffering is not treated as empowerment like any number of women written by Joss Whedon, she isn’t used to be chewed up and spat out and destroyed in a romance with either a guy who terrifies her and in whom she’s shown no prior romantic interest or an outright villain who has caused her nothing but pain in some stupid half-assed not-redemption arc where she has to sublimate herself and be stupidly forgiving beyond the willing suspension of disbelief so some horrible man can evolve.

But why this sexism sticks out to me is that it’s so insidious; if it were more on the nose like the examples I listed above, it’d almost be less jarringly offensive, but it masquerades as her being an empowered yet tragic character and weaves into an overall narrative that validates all the tropes I mentioned, and legitimizes itself in a way that feels fundamentally dishonest about how sexist it’s being. Worse yet, there’s the fact that The Dark Knight is more than just self-contained; its influence on not just comic book movies, but all kinds of media as we know it, is undeniable. And as far as setting the example goes? This hugely well-regarded, influential film is almost entirely white, and tells us that women exist as distractions, tragedies, and extensions of men’s storylines, and this bullshit has been echoing in similar media works since. 

AND NOW, THE ONE (or multiple!) NICE THING(S): 

All this being said, I admit there actually are a lot of things I like about this movie if I can separate them enough from the main issues! 😂For one thing, Hans Zimmer’s work on the score is top-notch; I listen to Like a Dog Chasing Cars and Harvey Two-Face all the time and the music alone provokes stronger emotions for the characters than anything in the movie actually did. The opening heist is just fantastically entertaining, and up until the messy third act, the pacing and plot is pretty tight and engaging! Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker is of course fantastic; although he’s not my favourite Joker, he really gave it his all, and is by and large the highlight of the film. Nolan is really good with visual appeal (with the exception of that damn colour palette) and the shots are fantastic. I really love the chase scene with the Joker and wish the rest of the movie held my excitement like that.  

Finally, it’s odd to say this, but I really like the world of the movie once I ignore the characters and plot. The Gotham that was built in Nolan’s trilogy, the contrast between the classes with the lavish receptions and dinners versus the underbelly, the corruption versus the goodness, how these disparate elements work in a terrible symbiosis, the architecture and technology reflecting this character – it’s incredibly vivid, both grounded in reality and yet sufficiently speculative fiction-y enough to be intriguing. I just wish that the people in it matched the quality of the setting. 😂😂😂

[luciusrnalfoys]

             self-respect leads to self-discipline.              when you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power

✧*:･ﾟ✧ merlin! is that SAM CLAFLIN? no, it’s just LUCIUS MALFOY the SIXTH YEAR SLYTHERIN ( PUREBLOOD ). we’ve heard rumors that HE ( CIS MALE ) is METICULOUS, SELF ASSURED & INTELLIGENT but can also be very ENTITLED, BIGOTED & SLY. if i had to pick one song to describe HIM it would SUPER RICH KIDS BY FRANK OCEAN. Good luck with the rest of your time at Hogwarts.

INSPO: pinboard and stats page.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: slight mentions of emotional abuse, but they’re not very explicit, terminal illness, murder

AESTHETIC: violin music, well fitted suits, falling asleep when high, polished shoes, lavish gardens, polite smiles, books with highlighted quotes, satin, white peacocks

history

lucius was born as an only child to abraxas malfoy and hemera malfoy néé rowle, who had very little in common. their marriage was political, loveless, a smart move for both parties involved, and with their house so big, their lack of love for each other did not matter all too much. lucius followed two years into their marriage, and was the only link the two had besides their ring and common house --- they both, after all, loved lucius.

whereas his mother’s love was genuine and deep, his father’s is more ... cold and distant and filled with expectations. the latter raised lucius to be the perfect heir, the perfect malfoy, the perfect future pawn in a war. ( abraxas had not joined the ranks himself, but was definitely involved and a supporter, and wanted nothing but to see his son join ). from abraxas, lucius has learned a lot of qualities that do and will make him into the shitty, successful death eater he becomes. from his mother, he’s developed a caring, family-oriented streak.

lucius grew up spoiled and loved, but not perfectly; there was an absence of love between of parents, a toxicity of his father’s love that he never really understood, but always felt. still, he was turning out to be the perfect son --- he kept his back straight and played the violin and read his books and listened, listened so carefully to every word that dropped from his parents’ lips. surrounded by people who were part of high society, lucius was also barely ever challenged to think differently or act differently: all the things he was taught were true, all the things he received, he deserved. the world spun the way it did for lucius, and he saw no reason to try and change any of it, not even then.

going to hogwarts was a good thing: it allowed lucius to expand his mind. he genuinely likes learning, too, and thinks education is very important ( he’d prefer to see him in that headmaster’s office, to be honest ). at hogwarts, lucius continued to mostly stick to the people he already knew, to the people who fit his ideals --- people with a good surname, with talent, with money, with pure blood, and preferably all of those at the same time. while he’s a pretty model student --- he barely ever misses a deadline, gets good grades, is polite --- he’s never been afraid to share the fact that he’s deserving of everything, whereas many others are beneath him.

[ terminal illness, murder tw  his third year was a turbulent one: his mother fell ill, fatally so --- it was a genetic disease, something incurable, and she very soon became bedbound. at the same time, his father took part in the plot that would cause the minister of magic ( a muggleborn ) to fall fatally ill, and lucius was let in on all the details, his father wanting lucius to learn ( there’s more deets abt this on abraxas’ wiki page bc it’s canon! ). it was a year where lucius learned that taking things slow and planning things out was the best way to go about things, but also learned that not even everything in his life was in his or his family’s control. his mother’s illness led to his mother’s sister moving in to help with things around the house, while his father started working more --- he’d no interest in looking after his sick wife, who he didn’t even love too much. it was something that enraged lucius, while his respect for his father was also growing due to the minister thing. anyway. it’s a mess. i can go on abt this for a long time!!! end of tw ]

currently

lucius isn’t really surprised that dumbledore was a drug dealer on the side and is damn glad that he’s gone. not that he really loves mcgonagall either, but he dislikes her just slightly less than he dislikes dumbledore, and knows that the castle could easily turn over a new leaf now that everything is so unstable --- he’s got very high ideals for hogwarts LOL!!! he wants slughorn to be hogwarts BUT OKAY. anyway, lucius is in his sixth year now, ready to work on his NEWTs and anticipate graduation. he’s very focused on his studies and kissing teachers’ asses, and besides that he doesn’t do much but be an asshole?? he sticks with his friends and his little circle a lot, tbh, and besides that mostly just is an asshole to people, lol --- he’s just?? a condescending, entitled son of a bitch, tbh

[ terminal illness tw his mother is still ill, which is very ... tough?? surprisingly? lucius does not like not being in control, is used to being in control of most of the things around him, and this is such an untouchable thing that it just ... IT DRIVES HIM MAD, tbh. he tries not to think about it, compartmentalises his worries, which is easy when he’s at hogwarts, as there’s a literal distance between him and his problems. his emotions/feelings towards his father have grown a bit more bitter, too, though still harbours a lot of respect for him end of tw ]

pretty much sure that he’s gonna join the death eaters once he’s out of hogwarts --- it’s not really something he feels he’s got much of a choice in, anyway. lucius does not think the death eaters are the best way to reach blood purity, but they’re the best way at this moment, and so he will join ( though he will prove to be more loyal to the cause than to voldemort himself, as we know LOL ). anyway, yikes. playing de’s makes me feel sticky

conclusion & ramblings

one time i played lucius in an rp and he was hit three times, which says a lot about him

honestly, while i think he’s an interesting character to write and stuff, i really, really hate him --- he’s the worst person, tbh? smart and capable but ?? out here wanting to contribute to this war in a terrible manner? willing to p shitty things? anyway just know that i will never excuse a messed up thing he does!!!! ever!! 

was once described as a chicken nugget: something that’s pretty good when you look at it without thinking about it, but when you do, you realise it’s nothing but pure trash.

plays the violin ??? loves mythology ??? lowkey a nerd but high key also a nerd, but he’s like “well i just want to better myself, wbu?”

pretentious ass motherfucker who will be condescending about everything -- from hair to gardens to the way your socks match your tie. judging is his favourite, number one hobby, tbh.

basically a rich white guy who uses his privilege to do bad things and get away with them. like, everything that’s wrong in the world rn basically. i Really hate him.

anyway plot w my problematic son and throw shade at him w me

[vividlyvic]

thoughts on abby lee miller going to jail and dance moms reaction

abby got a real lenient time sentence. she really won't be forgotten and probably be making news for something. she'll also come out real skinny. if anything, this is the long awaited break she needed to possibly reflect on some of her choices which led to harming others emotionally. still, we cannot forget that karma is a real thing. abby indeed got her dose of it for her erratic behavior. the mothers rejoicing are about to get their dose of karma as well. those mothers willingly stayed on a show KNOWING abby's behavior was outrageous. they were stuck in a lengthy contract, however, not until season 2. they could've left after season 1, and mind you, these ladies had been with abby nearly a decade prior. kelly GREW UP under abby and even had her own dance studio competing against hers, yet found herself at the ALDC over and over again. christie and abby has said that she was on her way out prior to the show due to abby's treatment, but used her daughter's bond with the girls as a reason to stay. melissa willingly and undoubtedly stayed and benefitted greatly because of it. holly is probably the only one who didn't know what she got herself into, because she was working. still, she remained on the show and consistently tried to impose her will on abby but never gave her credit for when she was trying to include nia. the other moms watched the show, was on her competition show, LOVED her, but will go ahead and throw her under the bus. they were well aware of what abby was going through but would do season after season bitching about things they KNEW abby didn't have her focus on. She's said so many times before, she was done with you once you're a teen, so why the constant back and forth? all of these moms are being the terrible examples for their kids that abby always pointed out. they don't rise above. they're petty, bitter, and spiteful. now i might revel in justice being served to a murderer or rapist, but never simply bc i despised the person. my hate does not bring more love or show others to love who you hate. i think minister dawn is very hypocritical considering her title. she probably used God to justify it too. if you really think about it, these moms are upset because of their daughters confidence being tarnished when they are the ones who allowed it. they are upset bc abby never gave them their way when you rly wouldnt have a say at any other dance studio or even a hollywood job for that matter. they knew what they were getting themselves into. projection is real. they all dump their problems on abby--especially kira, holly, christie and kelly--when their daughters are MILLIONAIRES because of her. they can think it was their daughters who made the show all they want, but the only one making a name for themselves OUTSIDE of Lifetime and social media, is maddie (who owes abby the most respect, so i really want to know what went down between the zieglers and abby). the moms let fame get to them and became entitled af. they leave and turn their backs on her and accuse her of using them when they were using her all the while. they wanted to quit but have the focus still be on them. they didnt have the balls to quit the show and not return. even christie rid on the shows last wave. it's bc of abby she could even return. if the drama wasn't apparent between the two it wouldnt happen. all in all if the moms don't care that's fine. but to post your party bc of it makes them just as disgusting. those moms have ALL said disgusting things towards abby and about her but we don't get to hear it. they get to save face and use abby as the scapegoat. if only they realized their daughters fame is on the downfall during this jail sentence. none are interesting enough to keep an eye on without the show. not even maddie. brynn, ashley, the minis, sarah, etc. know the true meaning of getting to know someone beyond the monster they present. i commend them. shit even cathy was an adult about the situation. i don't think people grasp what jail is truly like.

[queensofmystery]

Re: this post (and before that this post)

@beanarie said: oh i was *infuriated* by the way joan was treated in s2. in my case it kind of distilled into stubbornness. like “ok this is the story you want to tell? you’re gonna make me suffer thru a whole season of this? OWN IT.” the lack of resolution became obvious in a sneak peek for 3x02 & that was when i began not watching for weeks at a time.

 i don’t throw around “ooc” lightly. there are writers who could pull off retconning shrexit. it’d take some doing tho to reconcile cutting off a season-long pattern of dismissive, entitled behavior coupled with impulse control issues and trouble attaching to people. to make sherlock staying make sense, i feel like it would need further changes to season 2. which i’m more than fine with bc that season killed my metaphorical dog. just they’d need to be acknowledged

I know I need to rewatch, I really do, but from what I remember of how I felt about Sherlock leaving in 224 was just, total surprise. I think mostly because I had no idea what s3 was going to bring and I didn’t think they wouldn’t just...talk things out. Oh how naive I was of how paid writers loooooove to use Miscommunication as a Plot Device. And I think that’s what I’m most bitter about - miscommunication between the two leads being used as a clear plot device to drive this huge gap between them, create tension...and then in s3 it’s all but dropped after 301, hardly addressed even then. I hate it because they impacted their characters so heavily emotionally with the whole Sherlock leaving for London arc, but then didn’t carry it through. That’s not a surprise from these writers but it was such a waste to me, I view it more as a writing move that was treated, as you said, like a trainwreck, rather than the emotional upheaval and opportunity for self-examination that it should’ve been, for both Joan and Sherlock (and Joan has been shorted so much there should’ve been so much more focus on what she was feeling but by the end of 223 we knew the writers couldn’t care less about Joan’s feelings). So I think we differ in that I don’t view Sherlock’s leaving as inevitable...I think because I viewed Sherlock’s character differently, I suspect too positively, through s2 because I hated Mycroft so much yes, and also I kept wanting Joan and Sherlock to actually TALK about their feelings and that never happened and when the season ended like it did I was just dumbfounded. I guess my expectations were just too high back then (s1 did a number on all of us didn’t it).

Of course I know I was still peripherally pissed off about Mycrosoft’s existence, that probably distracted me from catching the nuances of how Joan and Sherlock’s relationship had changed throughout s2. Really the stupid creeper storyline overshadowed the latter part of s2 for me, and I didn’t catch as much as I should’ve. Since then I’ve read a couple transcript excerpts of season 2 (204 and 209 most notably) and did a little review of non-Mycroft episodes (which I know reveals the show kept getting more Sherlock-centric *rolls eyes* but it helped me focus on the positives of s2 that were decidedly not Mycroft-related, and yes it’s based purely on my bad memory and the episode synopses...and tumblr gifsets). What I mostly took from s2 is that there were a lot more Joan-centric moments than we got...after s2. No, it wasn’t s1 level, but it was more than what s3 and beyond gave us (save 301 I suppose). So I guess that just tells you I paid more attention to Joan in s2 than I did Sherlock. 

I also keep coming up with ideas of how Sherlock and Joan could just...talk things out, especially in s2. Sherlock was much more self-centered in s2 than he was after, I definitely agree with that, so I like to write or imagine scenarios where Joan counters that attitude and there’s a level of self-awareness for both of them... But I just need to rewatch s2 (except for that stupidity in 207, 221, the end of 223, and beginning of 224) so I can get a better grasp of how to write Sherlock changing and getting away from the behavior you described: dismissive, entitled, bad impulse control and trouble attaching to people. I like the challenge of writing Sherlock being like that but then with help from Joan and others learning to be like that a little less...which I think can happen without him going off to London like a jerk, without discussing it with Joan or anyone and just leaving her out of spite, and because he was afraid to get hurt himself. To me it’s not so much about cutting off a pattern of behavior as it is writing the character going through things that counter that behavior in many small ways over time that eventually overrides the negative behaviors.

And besides that I also want to write a fix-it fic/missing scene for s3 where Joan and Sherlock do let out their feelings about Sherlock’s leaving, because *makes strangling motions* Joan Deserves to Emote 2k17.

[renaisty]

Some things that are really bothering me about a lot of srydia shippers at best ignoring and at most mocking and belittling the people who are concerned over the narrative’s bias towards Lydi@ and the devaluing of every relationship on the show bar srydia, as well as the moc who is the actual main character.

These same people whined and whined and whined for years because they thought they were owed a ship, that demanded and demand the narrative cater to them, refusing to see that a) no one was obligated to comply and b) the narrative was always moving away from that ship and its possibility of happening.

These same people whined and whined about Lydi@’s storyline revolving around a guy, when she was helping people all over, was helping the pack, was learning to fight with her powers and without. Now? She cares about one person only, has no concern to help anyone else, and suddenly these same people do not utter a word.

These same people cheerfully make edits of Scott magicking their ship together while at the same time turning around and calling us salty and stupid and mocking us at every turn for not wanting the main character to be reduced to a cheerleader for a ship.

And they’re ok with that. Because somewhere along the way, these people have decided that the only way they’ll accept this show and Lydi@’s character is if she’s with St@les. And it was such an offence, that when they got rid of two of her boyfriends, they still didn’t end up together. That he had the nerve to fall for another girl, and later she had the nerve to be interested in someone else. To them, it’s always been ‘their turn’, because they always think that they owed it to them, that the show owed their ship to them and they had been robbed of something.

They are so obsessed with that idea that the ship was planned from the beginning, despite a mountain of evidence otherwise, and keep touting it around, using it as a weapon and as a defense, as if anything could justify what the show has done in this season.

They preach rhetoric like ‘ensemble show’, ‘just a show’, ‘but not everyone is obligated to like Scott’ and other pretentious bs. Because no matter how much anyone whines, spouts definitions and combs through technicalities, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s Scott’s show. It always always been about him, and his pack by extension. And it doesn’t change the fact that if the show was focusing on anyone other than their faves, the ‘ensemble’ argument would never even have been heard of. Or the fact that no, for the actors who have been and are being screwed over for the sake of a ship, it is very much not just a show. Or the fact that, newsflash, we know not everyone is obligated to love Scott. (that doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s strange how so many people don’t, but it’s not the point.)

The point is, we know. The point is, we’re not just lashing out bc our poor little hearts were broken bc our ships are not canon anymore. This is their logic. The point is, this is not just about what we want. This is not about what we as st@lia, m@rrish, scir@, sc@les shippers just selfishly want. It’s not about what scott stans want. It’s not just about us being antisrydia for the sake of being antisrydia. We’re not asking the show to shit on everything it was and is to cater to some out-of-touch with it narrative.

Is there a lot of bitterness? Yes. But we’re not petty enough to write essays upon essays on nonexistent problems. Most people pointing these problems out likely wouldn’t if they didn’t exist. If the show wasn’t being spun on its head and forgetting all its history and all its progress and everything it stands for to cater to a vocal minority in its desperation for ratings and with the changes in the writer lineup.

But no, this is about having critical thinking. This is about looking at the show, its choices and its narrative in a more or less objective way.

This is about seeing the titular character be shoved under the rug like yesterday’s trash, because they don’t have time for him, or his relationships obviously. And not because we’re stans. Because he is the main character.

This is about seeing M@lia and Scott being stripped of their intelligence and their emotional ties. This is about seeing a friendship being thrown in the trash because P@rrish is obviously not someone who has ties to Lydi@ and has helped her and been helped in return. This is about seeing twelve people doing everything to save someone and the credit being given to one person, and the one that did the least to boot. This is about Kira being shoved away while having a more than perfect storyline because they ‘didn’t have enough space’ while Lydi@ eats up so much screentime that the titular character seems like a background prop with no plot to speak of. And this is not just because we’re shippers, it’s because we have legitimate arguments.

I can say with confidence that if srydia had been done in a logical way, without most of the problematic elements and with respect to the show and the characters and the main protagonist, I’d still bitch a bit about it happening. But only that. I wouldn’t cover it up with pretty, self-righteous nonsense to make my dislike somehow legitimate. This is not a pissing contest. It’s people being disappointed at the quality of what they’re being offered, and not being content enough with the ship to complacently not say a word.

So, it’s just so hilariously sad that the people who have always whined about things only when it suits them, invented arguments and outright lied to hate on other ships and tried to steer the show in a direction it never wanted to take, turn around and reduce people who just want it the way it had evolved to be to salty, bitter, illogical party poopers or something like that.

tl,dr; dear srydia fanatics, don’t come at me and demand that I stop caring about the quality of what I watch, logic, character derailment and the main character of the show because you’ve only ever preached about wanting things you feel entitled to and have never bothered to give it the same thought or consideration.

[gottahavepride]

Putting this somewhere bc... idk, I liked it. Ultimately the flowery prosey shit didn’t really work in the context of the reply I was doing but hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I stole chunks of it for my actual reply but I still like the post in its entirety, whimsical bullshit or no.

Poem referenced is here.

Here is what they don’t tell you: Icarus laughed as he fell.

And she did, the sound guttural and choked, but nonetheless laughter. It echoed from her throat, torn and bloody, spitting mirth into the face of her mortality, refusing to be cowed by the idea that it had all come to an end. Was this it, then? Did they think there was something grand in taking her down, a travel-weary wanderer, underfed and footsore and tired? She laughed because it didn’t matter, none of it, because she hoped that Saboro would find them all the next day, because she had no purpose anyway, because she had fooled herself into believing she had left for any other reason but selfishness. If Gemini couldn’t be her’s entirely, then she wanted none of it.

Threw his head back and yelled into the winds, arms spread wide, teeth bared to the world.

Her head fell against the dirt, mouth agape with that laughter, which died ahead of its host, leaving only her fangs, still bared with lips peeled back, dipped in blood, ready to resume the battle. There was no fight remaining, however. If the red tattoos found her sister in a week’s time, in a month’s time, ten years down the road, Derringer would not be there to fight like she had when they found Avery, when they found Nathan, like she would have if Coven had truly walked into Gemini to bear witness to Serrate giving birth. Derringer’s battles were over, her fight for control, her struggle for power, for the upper wolfhand, all of it was done.

(There is a bitter triumph in crashing when you should be soaring.)

And shouldn’t she have soared? She could have risen high, above the rest of them, she could have conquered the sun at last, eclipsed her sister and taken it all for herself, ruled above the rest with Gaius at her side, with Falcon set poised to inherit all she’d finally stolen for her own. At her most bitter and vengeful, she told herself this, forgot about the countless wolves that held allegiance to the kinder, gentler Queen rather than the vicious one. She had left, abandoned Gemini to its Queen of ice, given her sister the peace Serrate always dreamed of, and it had caused her ultimate demise; the sweet irony of it all burned in her chest, that she had been brought down for something she had no part of. Let them believe they’d found the culprit, let Serrate blame her son’s death on her sister, let them all rot for all she cared.

The wax scorched his skin, ran blazing trails down his back, his thighs, his ankles, his feet.

Derringer felt blood dripping down her fur, felt it burning from where they had ripped into her, where they had stolen her life from her. She had given life to one of them! And she would have given life to the other as well, she would have taken him as her’s and given him the authority of her name, her rank, their children. No more. Her eyes flickered to Gaius, to Absinthe, and locked onto her daughter. ”I hope you burn.” The snarl echoed dimly, her eyes rolled back to Gaius, but when she tried to curse him in turn she found the words had escaped her, that there was an odd sensation of cotton in her throat where there should have been venom.

Feathers floated like prayers past his fingers, close enough to snatch back.

She felt it in her paws, first, this unique sensation; it tingled and yet was entirely numb, a static fuzz that spread from toenail to paw pad to ankle and further up, coursing through her body. A unique sense of curiosity, a naïve sensation unlike any she could remember feeling, bloomed within her thoughts. It was like a child’s wonder. She went to raise her head to look at her legs, and found she couldn’t. How odd.

Death breathed burning kisses against his shoulders, where the wings joined the harness.

Next came the heaviness. Where before there was nothing, suddenly she keenly felt her inability to move. She tried to rise, resulting in a twitch along her shoulders that she couldn’t feel, tried again to lift her head, eyes rolling, amusement replaced with anger replaced with panic. She wanted to scream at them, rage at being rendered so helpless, because for all her derision toward those smaller and weaker than herself Derringer had always found somebody else to blame when it was her in that situation, whether beaten down in a fight or demoted to the lowest of the low.

 The sun painted everything in shades of gold.

 She found them, again, staring at her two assailants, the child she had wanted rescued from the pits of hell, the man she had envisioned at her side until her death. They would have done well in Saboro, the both of them; Absinthe was more like her than she had ever seen before. Had she done that, through trying to unlock the secret of her sister’s strength? Had she instead unlocked some mimicry of herself, the vengeful daughter that would always hate her, that would see her dead sooner than bond with her? Did Absinthe see it, how she was nothing but the same old sad tale, repeated over and over again in this twisted scheme of fate – except this time she shattered it, that unbroken circle, bringing down the specter that haunted her dreams.

Her vision hazed over, giving the same warm tint to the surrounding area that befitted Saboro. Her former home – or her true home. Had she ever really left? Wasn’t she alone still acting under the guidelines that brutal place had instilled, weren’t her decisions only ever based off the careful molding her mother had done? Didn’t they understand? She never would have stopped. Serrate never would have rested. Derringer couldn’t ever stomach the thought of not being in control, she could only ever see justification in the weakness that was Serrate’s kindness. They would have continued, over and over and over again; Cain and Abel, Apollo and Artemis, Romulus and Remus, Castor and Pollux. Whether they were simply contrasting the other in opposition, sun to moon, ice to fire, or coexisting to survive, defending one another, fighting – all of it would have ended the same way.

She wanted to look at the two that had conquered her and scream, Don’t you understand, we would have killed each other anyway! But instead of ending in a fitting twist of fate, a scene too familiar to not become legend, Serrate’s ever-present demon fell here, two champions above her, rescuing their Queen from a reality that would have unfolded at an apex, perhaps on the cliffs overlooking the sea, or on a solitary island, full of questions and mysteries and death. Instead, Derringer’s choices had brought her here, her reckless impulsiveness leading to her unmistakable end, her desire to crush and control and take leading to her own demise.

(There is a certain beauty in setting the world on fire and watching from the centre of the flames.)

 But Derringer was the only one burning. The grey crept in around the edges, pops of it exploding in the middle of her vision, body feeling cold and numb and unbearably hot all at once – and then nothing.

Her eyes closed, and so did her chapter in their overarching story. The Lunar Queen, the Vengeful Sister, the Entitled Daughter – however you describe her, Icarus fell for the last time, crashing into blackness, sinking away from them all, leaving the sun to her rightful place in the sky.

The End.