#and i think we should talk about how fans like to use “where's the feminism?” card for antoinette

[crazykuroneko]

Love love Delainey's answer, because just in case anyone forgets, Lestat is not the only person we haven't seen their "real self" so far; there's Claudia. And *spoiler warning just in case* unlike Lestat who will have his chance to speak for himself later, Claudia won't. Yet these men (derogatory) keep violating her privacy, editorializing it, or even put words into her mouth, to fit their narrative or perspective or whatever. and THAT is Claudia's biggest tragedy imo. Even in her (second) death, she never gets the respect she deserves.

[olderthannetfic]

I'm a bit conflicted about how I feel about other kpop fans wanting their favorite idols to be more outspoken about social/political issues.

On the one hand, they're not supposed to be viewed as people. They're idols. They're products (that are mass produced by entertainment companies with the explicit purpose of mimicking Black American groups from the 90s, the transparency of the process being the only thing unique to kpop). They may have the pr-approved visage of being "relatable," but their industry is wholly reliant on stan-culture. To maintain their biases and favorite groups, fans have to obsessively stream, buy, vote, post, tweet, etc about their faves to support them and their companies (which is also why, unfortunately, fans with good causes like wanting to boycott Hybe will always fail). It's an entire industry funded by using idols as objects of worship for fans. If they were to speak on political and social issues, it would disrupt this system and risk losing money for multiple parties.

On the other hand, I think more kpop fans should be glad our faves don't speak on "difficult" topics. South Korea is a pretty conservative country. Even things like feminism and equal rights for women are widely disparaged by both men and women. They have politicians, like us in Western countries, who run entire campaigns based on being "anti-feminist" and win. We have no idea what idols actually think, despite what they may say on a live or sing/"rap" in a song. Think about how many male idols were involved in the Burning Sun scandal. Millions of fans were surprised, but I'm sure the people who actually know them weren't. Then think on the female idols, like Hyuna, who is now dating one of those male idols. I'm a Black queer woman in the states who likes hip hop. Regarding topics like SA, bigotry, homophobia, misogyny, etc. I, unfortunately, hear very often what the artists I listen to think. More kpop fans should probably be thankful they don't know where their faves stand on certain issues.

--

Hah. Yes, there's many an artist whose sound I love, but when he stops talking about his own demographic... oh dear.

And I'm howling at your description of the idol industry. Too accurate.

[tamaruaart]

Keep in mind this isn't me hating on Kirke, I love that fucked up goddess she's such a fun character. But goddamn I hate her fans.

It's all just people trying to push feminism where it wasn't 🙃 Yes, it's true ancient Greece was kinda shitty towards women. But goddamn that was 3000 years ago. We can enjoy these stories but it's important to not push modern perspectives and view points on these stories while also not condoning these actions. Not to mention we may very well experience this kind of thing with future generations that will come after us so it's important to simply stay humble. Civilizations and humans are constantly evolving and viewpoints are constantly changing so it's not exactly fair to history nor ourselves to take these ancient ideologies to heart. Grow up.

Anyways Circe/Kirke is not your hot little witch cutie 🥰 She's a goddess and the daughter of the Sun Titan. She's done terrible things and that's what makes her iconic. Istg if she wasn't so infamous no one would even know about her. She's morally gray and that's what makes her so neat >:D Now, is it unforgivable to paint jer in a good light? No, but I think if you remove ALL of her questionable morality she losses her charms. She isn't the same Kirke anymore. (Looking at you MM, your writing is good but holy shit.)

It's not unforgivable, but it's simply incorrect. If anyone wants to learn more about Kirke's original/actual character, I don't really recommend most modern interpretations- (MM's novel, Hades 2, DC, Odyssey Movies, my bbg Epic the Musical etc...) I'd say just read the Odyssey, reasurch some older mythos and read the Argonautica.

Can you still like these interpretations of Kirke? Yes. Of course. I love Epic's Kirke even though she is pretty inaccurate. You just have to acknowledge they aren't the real thing! :D That happeneds with most characters ngl, no adaptation nor interpretation is going to be 100% accurate to the original, but with Kirke it's always so... Apparent? So visible. They never make her at LEAST 50% accurate. Which 🤬

She was not a victim, she wasn't incredibly horny, she wasn't a girlboss, she wasn't love sick for Odysseus (it's hinted she only found him to be an 'interesting mortal' of sorts) she wasn't 100% cartoon villain of the week either. She's MORALLY GRAY 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

She holds Odysseus' men hostage, she turns Scylla into a monster out of jealousy, she turns a man into a woodpecker because he didn't want to sleep with her. But she ALSO helps out Medea and Jason (even though it's because Medea was her neice but STILL) and she gives Odysseus instructions on how to head home.

She does BAD things that shouldn't be forgiven and aren't at all justified, but she also does GOOD things that should be acknowledged. She's a goddess. She's a character. She's morally gray. WHAT THE FUCK IS NOT CLICKING???? 😀

I just don't like modern interpretations of Kirke and I'm a meanie so I made this ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

That's why I stick to my 3000 year old books instead of these puny ones that were written in my century 💪💪💪

Do not apply feministic messages or themes on Kirke. Nor any Greek mythology figure for that matter. This was 3000 years ago 😀 if you want to focus on feminism FOCUS ON WOMEN WHO ACTUALLY HAD TO STRUGGLE ABOUT THESE THINGS AND THAT EXISTED IN THE 19-21 CENTURY 😀😀😀😀 WHEN PEOPLE KNEW OR WELL WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW FUCKING BETTER. OR JUST FOCUS ON MODERN FEMALE STRUGGLES THAT ARE RELATABLE??

Also, if I haven't already made it clear. LIKING A CHARACTER ≠ CONDONING THEIR ACTIONS. I'm just talking about all the people who either call her a girlboss, hate on other figures for being morally questionable but turn a blind eye when it comes to Kirke, and people who make fun of Odysseus and call him a man whore for sleeping with Circe and Calypso. (Despite the fact he's a literal victim)

And for the last time:

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 NOT👏 A 👏KIRKE 👏 THE GODDESS 👏 HATE 👏 POST. 👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ME 👏 SLANDERING 👏 SOME 👏 OF 👏 HER👏 FANS 👏 AND👏 MOST 👏MODERN 👏INTERPETATIONS👏 OF 👏THAT 👏TWISTED 👏MORALLY 👏GRAY👏 BITCH.

Also I made a typo in the meme. God damn it dyslexia. (It's should be 'transforming' not 'transformed')

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Motherlode

And here I find myself again, circling back to the same basic thoughts about this arc that really only stretched itself out to about double what I and most others predicted. You get my angle right? While the world's watching, while the fandom's watching someone not named Nico Robin give a little nuggie of Void Century lore...200 chapters after Bakura Town, 100 after Kiku's fall, in a chapter after one with a folk lore allusion title. Stussy breaks the seal. Speaking more or less the same trauma. It's even the same central idea of Wano; ensuring the Straw Hat's escape was Stella's final command. It all runs on that old school Japanese take on ideal feminity; "A woman's happiness is taking care of those she loves." Self-sacrifice to repay kindness towards you.

Bonney has so much to compare and contrast, you're a solid candidate for someone who could kinda fuse Kiku & Yamato, but Stussy? You're our Tamataebako buddy with the same eyes. A trans woman and a clone, can't say it isn't relatable and they both have a demonic facade without an ounce of action girl tomboy tropes. Stussy can nab that torch now just like Bonney could have. But you still exist in that space. Why are we doing you now, after the others? We still have cards unplayed from Wano. When their theme is subtlety one should expect waiting until the final phase.

This chapter gives me a lot that has me excited.

We have a whole theme this chapter of people responding again and doubling down on the idea these different faces we know are reacting differently to Vegapunk's speech. Things different fans are reacting to. Wano the Joyboy lore, Carrot the weaponry, but it's one of those simple tricks that fuel a big deception. None of it is really that much deeper than clarifying what we as readers sorta knew. Of course, for Wano...it isn't the full group but we see a group. It'd make perfect sense for Kiku to be smiling and holding a tray with the implication she brought the dango, she could appear any example of this cover serial...but this is how you have to look at things when strategic absence is an established motif. Oh, and I guess Shino just got to stay youthful. Rock on mature woman, enjoy it.

The world is merely learning more or less what we know. The real story is still playing out. Stussy, the escape, this time we aren't breaking away. It's almost like a good rap track where the first two verses are smooth and melodic leading into a rapid-fire third verse to really hammer the message. I think we'll stick with that as the message unfolds. But this arc has just enough gas it's the opening act not the final point in and of itself. What makes me feel confident this time? Glad you asked:

Nojiko caring more about the farm bolsters this and her alone would have me freaking the fuck out but...bruh. Miss Goldenweek? Goldie!? Marianne and her hilarious in hindsight apple hat? Peep the suitcase, they're leaving to find Cross Guild. But yeah! Miss Friggin Goldenweek and Nojiko have an interesting response to this worldwide message. I love it too. They don't really seem to care much. Nami's big sister and a mellow girl that was one of Luffy's most vexing opponents. She got a cover serial, this little lady was always an oddball waiting to surprise us. For now though this is dope. Don't let her demeanor fool you, she was clearly a top agent for a reason and the reasons really aren't that different than the archetype I see out of Kiku.

What specifically does it though is how she's paired with the reaction focusing on the common people killed as collateral damage. Now let's take it altogether. Because something else going on under the message brings us back to where this felt most powerful:

Uh-oh. The big cloud layer is under attack. The Elbaf ship is getting surrounded. What if they weren't enough? For all the talk about other stuff that could happen if the Giants are the penultimate surprise addition...is it just gonna be the Grand Fleet after all? They make so much sense big picture. Robonosuke is still hanging around at the edge of all this too. Because things are getting dire on Egghead underneath the lore dump.

All in all...I love this shit right now because it's exactly what I've been on about since Wano ended. Wall to wall this chapter. 1115 is a straight banger.

[wildpeachfarm]

this is meant lighthearted : instead of “all men are trash, women do no wrong” a secret third thing “PEOPLE suck in general”

as someone who grew up with an absent father who tried to make life difficult for my mother once she took him to court for child support for me and my siblings - ing…I grew up with a not nice view of older men BUT my grandpa was a big big influence in not making men a negative experience for us.

the recent shift of the last 4-5 years has been worrying. I used to liked jkr and could emphasize where she was coming from originally. but it was scary to see the gradual descent into where she is now and the stuff she is saying. Bc she is so far removed from what she originally stood for. It can happen to anyone, I even get worried if I��m on that slope sometimes. This whole situation had me second guessing myself bc I gave gnf time and believed in him. I had a moment when a few female creators made remarks (not from mc community) and I checked myself bc I was scared I was falling into the conservative rhetoric to blame women and protect men. Then I saw others who had more information and actually looked into it and also found this blog where the nuances were being discussed and let out a breath of relief that I was just using my critical thinking skills lmao

There are so many men out there who just aren’t given a chance bc society is set up for them to fall into a certain role. And I think a lot of men are trying to break that role and stereotypes. I became a dream fan bc I saw him doing this, saw a gamerboy in 2020 who was passionate and excelled at the game but didn’t fall into the toxicity of the space, actively fought against it.

and women should not be encouraged to drag men through hell bc they feel empowered by the rhetoric of recent years. women can and are just as selfish and shitty people as men. Sometimes they are worse

we’ve gone so far off center, we’ve essentially gone from one extreme to another. Which I learned two years ago was called terfs 😂 the movement needs to go back to its previous meaning. Feminism is not solely female empowerment it is the deconstructing of the patriarchal roles and belief that push men and women into boxes. Feminism, as I was taught over a decade ago, was the fight for women and MEN to be equal and have the same rights and opportunities. We can uplift women without putting down men. if this feminist movement doesn’t correct itself, it will allow more men like andrew tate to grow and influence young men.

The lack of female representation in the sphere cannot be corrected by women. It just can’t. Men need to be part of the change bc if the environment is not corrected, women cannot succeed and thrive. They can become successful but the hate and obstacles directed towards them is crazy. This is in general not just for streaming.

It can’t just be women solidarity, men need to learn and actively engage in calling out misogynist behavior. Women need to talk with their males friends and call them out when they say or act in disgusting ways. Women need to hold women accountable as well! It is unfair and unattainable to put female equality solely in the hands of women. We need to All work together.

Puffy is so good at this when she streams, especially on the smp. Hell, she even created a whole villain arc to call out the people telling her to “be a therapist to Tommy, omg your like dreams mom”. Puffy is awesome 🥹

men =/ bad

women =/ good

PREACH ANON

this breaks it all down so well and i really sympathize with you about having a poor view of some men in your life and trying to not let that influence your views but also not go so far off the other end that you end up blindly defending them without critical thinking.

Really important discussions and introspection about how your thought processes work that I think everyone should have at least once when situations like this come up

[pebblysand]

HERE WE GO! WELCOME TO THE PAGE PALS PROJECT! THIS IS YOUR CONVERSATION STARTER FOR CHAPTER ONE. FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ASKS OR JOIN THE DISCORD FOR MORE!

HANDY LINKS/INFO:

chapter: i. out of sand (baby girl)

wordcount: 10, 157

playlist: notes here

castles FAQ: here

g e n e r a l t h o u g h t s:

I felt very emotional, beginning this chapter. There is a sense of finality in this project that I hadn't quite grasped before. This is - in all probability - the last time I read this fic. This is the last time I read this chapter. A chapter I have read dozens of times in the past few years - every time I was stuck, every time I needed to 'get back in.' Most of these paragraphs roll off the tip of my tongue when I read them out loud, because I've seen them so many times. And, I know that for you, reading this, this might not be the last time. Because you will go back, re-read this fic as many times as you like for as long as the internet exists. But I won't. That's not how my brain works, and I need to put projects behind me. To make room for new ones. And, so there is a sense of excitement, yes, reaching the end, but also a sense of grief.

If everything goes well, and if I do post the last chapter when I intend to, castles will have been four years of my life, almost to the day. COVID came and went, so did a couple of jobs, a relationship, a parent. I recently listened to an interview from Alexandre Astier where he described meeting someone in a supermarket once, who asked for an autograph for her husband. 'Ah, he's a massive fan,' she said. 'Though, to be honest, I never got into your work myself.' He was talking about how, for 'normal' people, people who aren't artists, someone else's art is just that: something that you like or don't like. But, for us, it's a part of ourselves. It's thousands of hours of work. And, sometimes, I wonder what castles says about me. What these thousands of hours have come down to. If I die tomorrow, which I hope I do not, this is one the things that I will leave behind me. And, so: what does it say about me? I mean: beyond the politics and the feminism and the quirky little interests. I mean: me, as a person. What do castles readers know about me? I'm not sure I even want to know.

t h e r e - r e a d:

I really enjoyed re-reading this chapter. It's funny to me how for you guys, depending on when you started the fic, you might have read multiple versions of this. I didn't make any big changes, nothing massive, but I did add a couple of scenes/lines here and there throughout the years, I'm curious to see whether you will notice.

in terms of the chapter itself, i think one of the things i like most about it is how it flows. it has that very distinctive castles prose to it, with the timeline that moves back and forth, the run-on sentences, the spiralling in and out of scenes. i recently got a comment on ff.net (lol) that said the chapter was messy and unreadable. and i think in a way, i like that. because frankly, if that bothers you in chapter 1, then you're probably not the right person for this fic, you know? i think chapter one serves its function well. a first chapter is supposed to be an intro, a taste of what you will read next, and i think it is perfect in that. it introduces the plot, the dynamic between the characters. it's long enough to signal that this isn't a fic where you'll read fifteen chapters in half an hour. i think you can read chapter one and tell if this is a fic you'll enjoy or not. and, that's what i want, really. that's what a first chapter should do.

having said that, i think there are two things i want to specifically dive into.

t h e h y p o:

early in the writing of castles, i used to get a lot of criticism about my version of post-war harry and ginny. particularly, there seems to be a subsection of the hinny-shipping crowd that basically thinks that harry and ginny would just meet after the war, scream at each other (or, that at least, ginny would be angry at harry for leaving her behind), kiss and make up, and pour their hearts out to each other about past events. specifically, these people believe that ginny is very good at weeding secrets out of harry, at getting him to talk, and thus the events of castles are not canon compliant with both of these characters.

i feel like objectively, it's not really my place to say whether that's correct. i think multiple versions of the same thing can be 'correct' depending on how you write them. but, if that's what floats your boat, if you have a very strong headcanon about this, then fine - by all means, go read something else (again, that's also the point of chapter 1). but i think this hypothesis sort of stuck in my head for a while, in light of the comments i was getting, because i couldn't help but wonder if that version of things isn't simply an idealised version of reality.

because, to read the books strictly: 1) ginny's anger at harry isn't obvious. you could argue it is there but she's actually quite calm in the break up scene. i am not sure she is that angry with him, especially when you think that she's just been through a war, lost a brother, etc. i think ginny is someone who knows there is a time and place for anger, and who is also incredibly strong and resilient. she still kisses him even after the break-up, after he's clearly decided to leave her behind , so i'm not sure she would lash out in these circumstances. additionally, 2) there's actually not that much evidence that harry and ginny talk to each other - ever. they're a hot and heavy thing, but they don't share much emotional stuff on screen. you can interpret the 'sunlit days' however you want, in the absence of further information, but it's not a given that ginny ever shares anything of importance about her past or her traumas, like what happened with tom. the one scene everyone always points to is the 'lucky you' scene, but that's a mutual understanding more than it is a conversation. she actually never mentions anything beyond very utilitarian details meant to help harry realise he's not being possessed. and, harry never canonically tells ginny about anything of importance in his life either.

and so what all of these comments drove me to do, a few months ago (i think i added this in september 2023) was to link that to the theme of those early chapters of castles. because one of the key elements of chapters 1-3, specifically, is this idea of the lifeline. of the way harry and ginny have spent months, at this point, idealising each other, idealising their reunion, for it to later come crashing down on them. and so i thought i would use the opportunity of chapter one to 1) try and address the 'criticism' above, and 2) make it fit within the world of castles. it led to this:

In his head, their reunion would have been something sweet, like her lips moving against his, the taste of the raspberry-flavoured lip balm she used to wear the year before. He would have confessed to all of his sins, to almost dying, to Hallows and Horcruxes, to the fear and the nightmares, to leaving her behind. ‘I’m sorry,’ he would have said. ‘I am so, so sorry.’  And, he would have tried to explain like he did last year, that all he ever wanted was to protect her, to keep her safe, and she would have yelled. Shouted at the top of her lungs in a rapid succession of angry jabs about what an arsehole he was. ‘I can take care of myself!’ she would have thrown back. ‘You left me!’  He would have looked to his feet. With time, he hopes that they would have fixed it. In reality, though, Ginny Weasley hands him a toothbrush that morning, as he sits back on his heels. Her stare digs holes into the side of his face and he wonders if, had he been Hermione or Luna (had he been a friend, still), she would have cajoled him. Handed him a wet towel for his forehead. Instead, she closes the door behind her on her way out. ‘You should shower,’ she says.

i love the sort of whiplash effect this scenes gives, of the fantasy v. post-war reality, which is obviously a massive theme in castles. and i also love the way it subtly signals that ginny might have changed (just like he has) throughout the war. because, obviously, she has, and we later find out why.

s e x a n d f u n e r a l s:

i cannot express how attached i am to that scene, and to that line in particular. i think there's a number of reasons for this:

first, it's the line that basically motivated me to start castles for real in 2020. i have said this before in other posts but i started drafting some sort of post-war hinny fic as early as 2007. i never finished anything, then when i was 17 (2010), i did a re-read and actually drafted something new. then dropped it again. and, that file transferred from laptop to laptop, from file to file for ten years without me touching it much. until covid came and i was looking through my drive, and i tenderly read what 17-year-old me had written back then, including this 'first time' sex scene which, to be honest, has mostly remained untouched in the final version of this. and, i remember finding it, reading it, and thinking the rest of what i had written was a bit cringe, but that one scene seemed to work. and then, i got to the (now famous) line: to him, the spring of '98 is about sex and funerals, and thought fuck, that's a good line. like, a really good line. and i didn't want to let it go to waste. and, so, four years later, here we are.

i think that line is a very good symbol of what this story is about. 'sex and funerals' - it's a metaphor for how life is about the good and the bad things. that they co-exist as one single entity, and that the beauty of what we do, of the way we live, resides somewhere in between. it's why i chose it as the summary back then, and why it is still the summary now. i really built the entire fic around that line. so, yeah, 17-year-old jo, you already had something going for you, darling.

l a s t l y:

a thought i had while re-reading (and please don't come at me for this), is that... this could have been a one-shot. like, it really could have. i finished chapter 1 and there's a sort of finality to it, isn't there? like, i'm glad i continued this fic, but part of me thinks that all i've been trying to say in the past four years actually is in this chapter. obviously, not as detailed or subtle, but it's there, you know? it could have been a one-shot, lmao.

but anyway, i'm curious, did you guys enjoy your re-read? did you notice the changes i made throughout the years? did you enjoy them? feel free to send me an ask or join the discord server to discuss. i'm so excited to get this discussion started and hear your thoughts!

[cloudsoffire]

Misogyny in Sonic Boom

Most of you are already familiar with the 3d animated Sonic Boom cartoon running from 2014 to 2017. Despite the lackluster critical reception of the games, the show has a dedicated following, and a ton of good reviews. I myself am a fan. However, there are plenty of things to criticize. In the body of this post, I'll be addressing the misogyny present in the series.

To begin, let's talk about that one moment with Amy and Knuckles. Because when feminism is brought up in regards to Sonic Boom, this clip is often what comes to mind.

It's funny, sure, but it's also not an incredible moment. Amy's characterization here is also lackluster, but let's focus on Knuckles. sure, what he's saying sounds good to a general audience, but if you think about it even a little, it quickly falls apart.

In this scene, we see Knuckles, a man, talking down to Amy, a woman, about female empowerment. What he says is wrong as well. Breaking of gender roles is an exception because we live in such a gendered society. It's something that we should call attention to and celebrate. It isn't the status quo, and what he's saying is extremely liberal. We all know women are just as good as men at doing stuff, so why say it? Why draw attention to it? Why disrupt society? They're bad arguments. Arguments that come out of the mouth of a writer instead of Knuckles.

That's not where it starts, though. That episode is actually from season two. But rather than going moment by moment, episode by episode, we'll be breaking down how both Amy and Sticks, are treated by the narrative.

Amy is a feminist. But in an extremely watered down sense. She talks about gender equality, but in a way that's played for laughs. And you know it's just for comedy because of all the other stuff she does. In "My Fair Sticksy," Sticks is invited to an awards ceremony for saving the town. Rather than allowing her to go as herself, Amy takes the opportunity to force femininity and gender roles onto her, a complete 180 from the female liberation she touts throughout the show. Sticks saves the day by tossing Amy's teachings aside, but that doesn't really change anything. It just shows that Sticks herself is unchangeable, not that gender roles imprison society.

So Sticks is the one who breaks away from societal expectations in a meaningful way, right? Well, sort of. She's paranoid, lives in a hole in the ground, digs through the garbage, she's not exactly ladylike. But that doesn't protect her from the writers.

"Blue with Envy." A green shrew named Swifty comes to town, sporting shutter shades and bastardized 90s slang. The episode's twist is that Swifty is actually several robots built by Eggman to usurp Sonic. But before their big race and Sonic's subsequent banishment, Swifty wins over the hearts of the village. This includes both Sticks and Amy, who actually faint over him. Sticks even says she'd disable her traps if he came to visit her, to which Amy responds by saying she never disables her traps.

And there wasn't even any mind control going on there, unlike in "Battle of the Boy Bands." It doesn't speak to Amy or Sticks' characters, specifically because of that, but the episode itself does use them to make fun of the stereotypical "fangirl". Which is at best low hanging fruit and at worst actively misogynistic. There is nothing wrong with liking a boyband or any other media, so long as you don't buy merch with food money or use it to harass people. But that's not a thing unique to women. There are plenty of men who live on instant ramen because they buy stuff for their interests. But the way those men are talked about is way different from how people describe women who are into things like boybands. There's another post I saw a while back that digs into this and it's not the main topic of this one, so I won't go too far into it.

As a whole, Amy's character is "the overbearing feminist," a tired archetype, but she's also meant to be hyper-feminine and proper. This could work if she just found that identity the most comfortable and still supported others, but instead she tries to get people outside the norm, like Sticks, to conform.

Sticks breaks the mold on the surface, but she's still a woman, and you know how women are.

They're treated badly by the plot, the writers make them say things just for the audience to laugh at them for being women, and as a whole it's just kinda gross.

This is getting long but I'm sure there are other things online that go into much more detail that I did. I didn't read any of them so I'm not 100% sure on that, but it's so blatant I'd be genuinely impressed if they didn't exist.

[stranger-rants]

i just don't understand the feminization of male characters. it doesn't make sense to me and maybe that's because i don't identify as lgbt so i'm not in the community or get their jokes but it's just hard for me to wrap my head around why 99% of the fandom insists that billy's girly. is it because he doesn't dress like a slob?

Well, LGBT is not an identity. It’s an acronym. Obviously - but I say this because lumping “LGBT” together is not necessarily beneficial. A person who is lesbian, gay, or bi doesn’t automatically understand what it’s like to be transgender or non-binary… and we’re talking about gender expression here, not attraction. Being transgender or non-binary may help you understand it better, but it’s not necessary.

“Babygirl Billy” as I’ve discussed has a specific meaning to me that isn’t necessarily about gender (I already made a post about it. I am not explaining again). It doesn’t directly translate to “girly” or “feminization,” but since you’ve brought those terms up I need to discuss things like gender expression, hegemonic masculinity, gender nonconformity, and so on…

I personally view Billy as having masculine and feminine traits. I think most people have a mix of these traits. Gender is a social construct that you are raised into by your society / culture. The society / culture you are raised in also has a hegemonic concept of what masculinity and femininity should look like. (e.g. Men must do x, not y in order to be men). Billy is abused for transgressing those boundaries.

There has always been a feminine side to Billy that he was never truly allowed to safely explore. A lot of men are denied this opportunity, and it causes them a lot of harm. If they dress too feminine, they are punished. If they express their emotions in a feminine manner, they are punished. And so on and so forth. This trauma makes them fearful of femininity / overcompensate with hypermasculinity.

That said, there are still ways that Billy expresses himself that do not fit into the hegemonic masculine mold. As a child there’s a noticeable switch from Billy wearing flowers on his clothes and being gentle to wearing very plain outfits that were meant to get dirty. Then as an older teen, we see him trying to balance a masculine façade with feminine interests like jewelry and perfume.

People can sit here and argue that, well, that’s just how men were in the 80s! …but no, the hegemonic masculine mold was still very much conservative in appearance as it still is today. Just because famous musicians could wear perfume and pierce their ears doesn’t mean your average boy wasn’t going to be called slurs for doing the same.

Remember that this is all a construct. Liking certain things that are gendered a certain way doesn’t mean you have to identify with that gender, unless you want to. However, it does mean living a certain way can code someone as gender non-conforming which is the way that many queer fans view Billy based on their own experience.

For some of us, Billy embracing his femininity is appealing as it addresses part of his trauma. He embodies a lot of his mother’s traits with the way he dresses and the way he reacts, but so many people treat Billy as a carbon copy of Neil. Neil represents hegemonic masculinity as he inflicts trauma onto Billy who very much tries to resist him in the way he can (e.g. how he dresses, acts, talks).

You don’t have to get it or agree with these interpretations, but using not “getting it” against people is where I draw the line. People making a problem out of those of us wanting to explore these aspects to a fictional character need to learn to mind their business, and that includes not putting up a stink or using “girly” or “feminization” in a derogatory way.

Overall, gender is a complicated spectrum. There are aspects of gender that are privileged, and aspects that are not. People who go out of gender bounds regardless of their gender identity experience trauma that could be resolved if we just allow people to express their gender in a more diverse way.

Anyone saying someone like Billy would hate it is really just saying he should hate it… because ultimately Billy is not real. The audience is projecting their thoughts and feelings about gender onto Billy. You take for granted that certain concepts of gender are more readily accepted, thus you don’t question masculine interpretations but you question feminine ones because it is unexpected.

[mag200]

obviously this is on a different scale but like. this whole taylor/matty situation reminds me of when i had cishet friends who, after breaking up with boyfriends bc they hurt them personally (like cheating on them etc) they would suddenly tell me alllll about how that guy would be racist and antisemitic and homophobic and transphobic the whole time they were together and i'd just be stunned, like, and you didnt leave him for that?? you can excuse rampant bigotry but you draw the line at being cheated on. these were friends of mine who claimed to be allies to poc, to the lgbtq community, to jews, to all these minorities but then i found out they were happy to be in a deep relationship with partners who were the total opposite. (to be fucking clear bc i don't want anyone to take this out of context, yeah cheating is bad. that is not the point here and you know it.)

we've seen in the past some hints that taylor maybe doesn't know how to look into what criticisms are fair and what's just unchecked slander. i don't say that as an excuse, she's a grown woman, it's just an observation. the lyrics of YNTCD, to me weren't that serious of a situation, but did a little bit imply that she thinks someone being mean on twitter is in any way comparable to institutional bigotry. everything that happened in 2016 and the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty was legitimately based on a complete lie about her (as we found proof of later when the unedited kimye phone call was released). so it doesn't surprise me that taylor has ended up in this place mentally where if people are making any criticisms of her or her friends, she thinks it's all just cancel culture and has no basis in reality. this is why i really doubt she is going to take these very fair criticisms of matty seriously - as long as she likes him and he's nice to her. there is no way that she hasn't heard about the racist and misogynistic jokes and the nazi salutes but he's hyping her up and she's having fun so fuck it i guess. she has specifically called out this type of performative feminism before but she is not walking the walk and it's deeply disappointing.

this is all coming out in the middle of the eras tour, what should literally just be a celebration of her nearly two decades long career of music and writing, and i would deeply love if i didnt have to care about her personal love life. "parasocial" is a word that gets thrown around a lot as an attack but it is 100% the core of her career, she built a parasocial relationship with her fanbase on purpose to get where she is today. this is why a lot of us have really deep feelings connected not only to her songs but to our perception of her. there's a reason she's invited fans to her house and she's sent fans presents in the mail and she goes out into crowds to hold people's hands and none of this is inherently an issue. however, it does make it a lot more complicated to separate the art from the artist. whether taylor understands the difference between criticism and slander or not, we are allowed to talk about taking issue with her choices, and it does not have to come from a place of hate.

people love to say that she's not responsible for the way some guy acts, which is true, and matty saying awful things is not the same thing as her saying those things. but it says a lot about her politics and how deeply she means what she says, that she is willing to have an openly racist, misogynistic, antisemitic partner. karma is your boyfriend or whatever.

[hyenagurl]

Opinion on drag queens? I can’t stand them tbh

im glad you asked tbh bc frankly i can’t really pinpoint my feelings entirely on them, its changed a lot over the years. when i was a 17-20 i was a HUGE drag race fan and i watched the show and posted on the subreddit, and this was when i first started exploring radical feminism so i wasnt unaware of the critiques going on about them here either. i guess back then i thought it was all in good fun. then a few years ago i lost interest in the show and like you i couldnt stand them anymore, i wrote them all off as overrated, sexist and tasteless caricatures of overblown femininity at best and actual degrading pornographic hateful stereotypes of women at worst (i considered then and now drag queens like trixie mattel, katya, detox icunt and raven to be the worst in this regard).

nowadays… im somewhere in the middle. while i dont know if i personally would go so far as to call it art (at least no more than i would consider the performance of femininity itself an ‘art’) i understand that it has its own history amongst gay men and i do think some of it has genuine merit as performance art - as in, some queens do put in the effort to make their own costumes, do their own choreography, etc. but on the other hand for that, if it is going to be evaluated as a performance art, then like other forms of art it should absolutely be held to the same standards of criticism, and shouldnt be shielded from that criticism just bc its an art created primarily by a marginalized group of gay men (or HST trans women). and thats where the very real feminist critiques on the misogyny in drag comes in, and it disgusts me that any concerns women have are written off as us being joykills or no better than conservative pukes or whatever. gay men are still capable of being misogynist towards women so it shouldnt be surprising at all that a good portion of drag queens are performing a sexist caricature of women (like the ones i mentioned above, those are considered to be the most famous and successful, go figure).

i think what really cemented this view in my mind was this clip that went viral awhile ago of this drag queen running around in a public space with this huge ridiculous floppy breastplate that was bouncing around… but then he ran into this group of children and he IMMEDIATELY cringed and covered himself. and it kinda just clicked for me for how weird some of this is, in a way that nobody but feminists were talking about. you have this grown man gleefully running around with this gross and porny and realistic looking piece of womens flesh worn over his body, because thats supposed to be funny and entertaining, and everyone takes it a face value and doesnt wonder what that says about how we view womens bodies?

i think the conservative backlash towards them in general is massively overblown, i dont think drag queens are in themselves inappropriate to be near children because feminine men are not inappropriate, altho i do think naked men or men wearing realistic breast plates or fetish gear ARE inappropriate to be around children, but thats just common sense lol, and yet both leftists and right wing morons fail to grasp this, that not all drag is child friendly, and similarly that some drag is misogynistic as well. (alot of them are mostly overrated as performers too…)

so yeah tldr i have mixed feelings towards them that can be best summed up as a passive annoyance or ambivalence. i agree that some of its very misogynistic and offensive, but that it varies from queen to queen. im sorry if this was meandering, im still trying to figure out my feelings towards them, and im hoping i can find some more feminist critiques on them to help me gather my thoughts towards them better lol

[singto-prachaya]

Talking with 'Ne' PERSES, a T-Pop idol who calls himself a 'feminist'.

It's not often that we see men in the Thai entertainment industry. clearly defines herself as a 'feminist' , which Nae-Naran Wikairungroj One of the members of the idol group PERSES from G'NEST under GMM Music is the person we're talking about.

We decided to contact Nepai because we knew he was an avid reader. He is also especially interested in issues of women's rights and gender equality. He often reviews the various feminist books he reads. Ready to often recommend it to his beloved fans. Sometimes his fans send him feminist books to read as well. This is a small impression. which Nae sees as a space to exchange views on gender equality that is meaningful to him Make him open up to the world and made him and his fans good friends with each other. Join hands to move the issue of women's rights forward. Even if it's a conversation that isn't very large.

*Note I used google trans for this whole long interview

Nae's idol is 'Joe March', a female character from the book Little Women or in the movie version played by Saoirse Ronan. Nae admires her coolness. and the courage to stand up for oneself in a society where women are sexually repressed And Nae herself has gone through the story of being repressed by masculine values. Many times, some groups of friends have some toxic behaviors. Until he decided to walk away from that point. This character therefore works more fully with him.

Every minute that Nae and I talk From the first minute until the full hour is up. We see Nae more than just a handsome young man who is full of passion for being an artist on stage. But Nae represents people in the entertainment industry who have the spotlight. and represents 'men' who are more likely to face violence. discrimination or gender discrimination Less than women or LGBTQ+ people come out and openly talk about the problems that women and LGBTQ+ people face. In a society where gender equality has not yet come true

Feminism in the meaning of Nae means fighting for people of all genders. Not just fighting for women But behind the scenes he calls himself a feminist instead of using other words. Because he believes that this word will help emphasize that the problem of gender inequality that women face really exists. and should say it clearly So what else do you want to say clearly? Let's go read his words.

Q: Why did Nae define herself as a 'feminist'?

A: Actually, at first we also questioned ourselves about what it meant to be a feminist.Where is the feminist bar? Because we don't know that much of its history. Just enough to know roughly. What is it caused by? And how does it lead to demands for women's rights? And then we wondered Is it really an equitable term? If we don't know enough Can we call ourselves feminists? But when we start reading Starting to understand this word gradually, we know that in the end, the word "feminist" It is a fight for the right to live. No matter if you are a woman, a man, or what gender or race. If you know that you or others are being oppressed in some way in society because of your gender. Then dare to stand up and raise your voice to make the issue louder. You can be a feminist too.

So we started calling ourselves feminists. and the reason for using this word Instead of using the word fighting for gender equality, it is to emphasize that the problems that women face today really exist and still exist because sometimes if we avoid using other words instead of fighting for women's rights, Sometimes that problem was made lighter Or some people pretend not to see each other.

Q: I heard that when I was in school I had to leave my friend's gang. Because of some masculine characteristics of the people in the group What are the characteristics of that man? So what made you decide to walk away from there

? A: The teenage years are the age of self-discovery. We don't want to blame him completely. Because we think that he did that. Maybe he did it because he wanted some kind of recognition. Without thinking about whether it was wrong or not I remember having a male friend make out with an LGBTQ+ friend, which I felt was going too far. That made us feel stupid and not fit in there, so we decided to leave the group.

Because we are people who don't usually fight with people. You could use the word quiet, so we chose to fade ourselves out of the group. After that we went to play group games. I feel like I don't fit in in some ways in the male gamer community. Part of it is the idea that men must be better at games than women. That makes us feel okay again. And then faded out again But this time it faded easily. Because they are friends who play together in the online world.

Q: And have you ever had the personality of a guy who you consider toxic?

A: Yes, even though during high school It will be a period that doesn't flow with the group of friends that much. But we feelWe still have some toxic masculine traits. When I look back, I feel like I'm glad that we made it through that time. and become more aware of that problem, such as when female friends come to talk He will first think about whether he likes me or not, which is like (laughs) and has some cockiness. When we play games We try to be gamers. 

Q: What was the starting point that made you become interested in gender equality?

A: During university, it was a time that changed our lives as well. We met a male friend who likes watching movies and reading books. We have absorbed many things from it, and the points of interest here also come from it. He is a person who feels whatever he feels and makes it happen. When I was with him, he was a sensitive person. and in tune with one's own feelings Every time we talk about movies or life It also makes us absorb its sensitivity. We feel that sensitivity is very important to being human. Because at least if we dare to show our sensitive side Without having to pay attention to the values ​​that say that being a man must be strong. We will understand other people's sensitivities more. It's a small point. That affected our thinking after that.

During my third year, I started reading books about feminism. When I read it, I saw more things. Then take it and observe what is happening around you. It makes us gradually I'm constantly interested in this issue. The first feminist book I read was Feminism for the 99%. In that book, what issues were discussed about women being oppressed? It presents the idea of ​​feminism fighting for the 99%, which includes people of all genders, including men, LGBTQ+ people, people of all races. that is being suppressed by patriarchy or whatever social inequality

This book helps equip us with basic tools and gradually Learn more from this tool. What do we see from it? We saw a strange structure. And how has it been fed into our heads since childhood? For example, when we were in a Chinese family We often hear stories about gender inequality. In some houses, men may be more affectionate than women. or encourage more men to go to work while the daughter should stay and take care of the house

But in our country, it's not like that. My father can wash the dishes. You can cook food for them to eat, but other households still give you the responsibility of preparing the main food. Let it be the duty of women to some extent. 

Q: The problem of gender inequality in Thai society that I see. Is there anything you would like to share

? A: The lack of social status of a Queer person or LGBT person in law means they are a person who does not yet have a identity in society. Because in the law it still states that only men and women can marry each other. This group of people Inability to have love in legal ways This is what we feel most right now.

Sometimes we perceive from the perspective that LGBTQ+ people are only happy, but really, they've been through a lot. We had a friend when we first arrived. He said he was a man. And we were glad that later he came to tell his friends that He's got a girlfriend. We're gay together. We are delighted that he accepted himself. And there are people who accept him. From what he didn't dare tell Because saying that might mean causing other people to tease him, which in reality, maybe no one is teasing him. But the fear that arises It is caused by inequality in society.

Women's safety is also something to talk about. From what I have read Or we see it on the media There are women who tell stories about events that they have encountered. Many times it is an event where there seems to be nothing at all. But it can happen. It is something that drives women to live in fear. Wherever you go, you must be careful at all times. You must not dress in certain clothes. So that other people don't feel anything? We feel that it is difficult. We don't understand all that difficulty. But he shouldn't have felt this way. from the actions of others

Or is it an issue that we feel sorry for? That is, when people come and demand that sanitary napkins should be a welfare state. There will be people who come out and say So what do men get? which we feel He only looked at it from a man's point of view, what he had to get. They did not consider the importance that women cannot choose whether or not they have menstruation. or holidays on menstrual cycle days We don't understand women's feelings anymore. How will he feel? But he just said he had a stomach ache. Is it enough? that he should have stopped and should be heard

We say that men should be aware of their own thoughts. Let it not hurt anyone's feelings. Or go make a woman Or which gender feels bad?Men may not face the same problems that women or LGBTQ+ people encounter. What are we saying here? We cannot speak for women, speak for LGBTQ+ people, or fully judge his pain. But we're just speaking from the point of view that We should view people as equals. No matter who they are, they should have the right to live the life they choose. It doesn't have to be that difficult.

Q: When you're an entertainer who clearly expresses his sexual orientation. How do you handle it? If you imagine encountering sexist jokes in each situation

A: I've encountered it, but in a society I'm not that close to. People with whom we are already close He will understand a bit about what we have in mind. But when I actually went there We might show something. Let's change the subject. Or try not to continue the conversation. At Toxic, we may also be less combative. Choose a way to compromise. Try to avoid further conversation. Then we'll go share the article. or talking about various issues In our own area

Q: Do you think that in the entertainment industry There is gender inequality. Or what are the gender inequality issues?

A: We've worked with LGBTQ+ people. We've seen how narrow perspectives have become. Many people put up labels saying that when this person is LGBTQ+ then they have to be like this, like this, like the stereotypical image that has been created. In fact Looking at a person, one should look at the individual. More than gender

When it comes to working in the industry, we feel that we rarely see the space for people who are queer. or people who are really LGBT, we often see that most Male celebrities tend to get more attention. or more popular It can be said that it is according to market mechanisms. But as a medium or the entertainment industry There should be more awareness of their existence, such as the portrayal of trans people as being funny. In fact, He should be anything. We can't just expect him to be funny.

In the T-Pop industry, we can probably see that There are people who can be themselves fully. We feel it's good. But if you ask me if it's enough or not, I think there must be a lot of space.

Q: When you're an entertainer and famous Driving this matter How do you think it's beneficial?

A: We feel that what we do is very small. If compared to what is currently happening in society We feel good that we may be able to help the movement spread more widely. We're happy with that. But we feel We can still do just a little bit. We feel that some fans may even know more than us. Sometimes he sends us books that open up the world. It felt good, like helping each other, like being good friends.

That book is Beau (is Non-Binary of Everything) which talks about an angel who descends to the human world and questions our way of seeing the world. that only looks at men and women This book explains to us how to really understand that feeling.Looking from the eyes of an angel Look at humans not just by gender and age, but look at humans as human beings. And humans can be anything. Regardless of gender

Q: Men come out and speak openly about women's rights in society. What do you think can help in society?

A: We were born as men. Which we think has an advantage. We can't deny We just have to accept that the advantage exists. Because if we compare the proportions We were not traumatized. or being pressed down as much as other genders Therefore, we cannot speak for those affected. What we can do is be a supporter so he doesn't feel guilty about what he's been through, be beside him and cheer him on to be strong. and fighting against a patriarchal society Confirm that he exists and can have a better life And at least when we talk about gender inequality. It will cause this matter to be discussed. No matter how small the group is, at least there will definitely be more people who understand this matter.

Q: Currently, some people have a bias against feminism. Some say it was because of his angry attitude. What do you think?

A: Compared to what he has experienced. He could understand that anger. Because before the feminist rage He might speak conciliatoryly. Or it can be gently. But then you focus on the final action, which sees the feminists rage. It's better not to listen. Why don't you say something nice? Even though he may have said something nice 100 times, no one has listened.

Some powers may not be visible to us. But it doesn't mean there won't be any. Our focus on one action It might not be all of him. What had he been doing before? or something that society views as non-violent But in reality, he had an impact on this thing. The fact that he would take action out of anger to protect his own life. It's very understandable.

Q: Your fans know that you like to read books about gender issues. What would you like to recommend? What would you most like them to read? along with reasons.

A: Can you have multiple books? (laughs) The first book is Feminism for the 99%. It's a good book to lay the foundation for understanding that feminism doesn't just fight against women. But fight for the 99% of people in society.

The second thing is Hot love in the land of socialism I feel like this is another book that makes us dream. Or imagine a dream in a society that is alive. Be it with women, trans, or queer, or men, or whatever.

And the last story, Little Women, we feel is a book that makes us feel the power of women. It's an easy read. And he worked with us a lot. Joe March (the character in the story) is a really cool guy. And we want to be like Joe March, who can stand up and be himself in a society where he may be repressed by various values. He's our idol.

Q: If you had the opportunity to work in the House of Representatives? What do you want to do to happen in Thai society the most

? A: Determining whether a person must be that gender or this gender may not be important. We have no legal knowledge. But I think gender identification might be important in medicine. But legally, it may not have to be male or female. If we fix this, it should unlock many things. Because there are still only 2 genders on the front of the ID card, it doesn't push anyone away from their identity. He should have made his own choice. Or if you still don't know what it is. There's no need to specify. It may only be specified in medical documents.

And the issue of sanitary napkin rights is important.Expenses are not cheap, not everyone can bear them all the time. If there is a policy to help He probably has more money to do other things.

Q: What is the picture that you want to see in Thai society regarding equality?

A: We want to see everyone living their lives. Be yourself I did what I wanted to do. Have chosen your own path where he doesn't have to be limited by his gender. The fact that we are born as either gender We shouldn't have to sit and bear what we have to be. Born as a man, you don't have to be strong. Or don't be weak. Born as a woman, you don't always have to be a housewife. Life is much more than that. It should be a framework created by our own satisfaction.

Original interview

[alarrytale]

Yesssssss please do a rwrb/nick sideblog. It can just sit there for when you want to use it. I love your opinions

I don't assume people's sexualities at all, but the way Nicholas Galitzine talks about Henry of RWRB (from interviews) is the exact same way Kit Connor used to talk about his character Nick Nelson from Heartstopper before he forcibly had to out himself online. He's said he enjoys playing characters that have an internal struggle though (which are most of his characters, including his queer ones) so... Just throwing some food for thought.

The funniest thing is that Nick plays Harry in a film of the Harry fan fic The Idea of You where the Harry character is 19 and falls in love with a 39 year old woman, who in the film is played by Anne Hathaway. All very het but it was filmed last year so should be out soon on Amazon.

https://www.looper.com/1266000/the-idea-of-you-everything-you-need-know/

Hi, fellow Nick stans!

It's good to know that if i were to make a sideblog i would have at least one follower! Noted. I think i'm going to hold off a bit for now (ask me again when bottoms starts streaming i need an outlet that is not this blog). He might still turn out to be problematic (i highly doubt it), so i'm just a casual fan for now (at least that's what i'm telling myself lol).

Thank you for the food for thought. I've thought this too. There are many small things here and there he's said and done, or how he reacts to things and so forth that made me go 'huh...'. At the same time he's talked openly about ex gf several times, but never about a bf. He might be bi or pan and/or it's a simple case of closeting for career purposes. He might still be straight, but the more i see and the more information comes forth the less likely i think it is. If he's actually straight i think he must be very secure in himself and his sexuality. The way he sees and talks about queer things, feminism and toxic masculinity is very mature and he's very informed on these topics. His respect for women, his respect for others boundaries and his refusal to keep to stereotypical gender roles is more than i've seen from any other celebrity. It's also very unusual to see in a straight man.

Anon about tioy. I know, check out my anne hathaway tag for my reaction to the news. I was so disappointed in her. I have very strong opinions on the het harry fan fics made into film. These films are enforcing his het womaniser image and helping to closet him. And it's so wrong when you know he's (most likely) forcibly closeted. He can't do anything about these movies, since it's based on fan fic and not him. And people are going to see Nick as playing Harry even if the character has another name. When i went to see barbie i got the trailer for the next aft*r movie. The urge to boo in that full theater was strong. It makes me so god damn angry at the world (also larry fics are objectivly so much better than het fics, why aren't we getting a movie based on that?).

As i've said before, i hope tioy comes out before george and mary so people quickly forget about tioy. I think some part of nicks fandom will treat tioy as they did purple hearts. I'm grateful for that. I hope when he gets more known he'll get offered better and less problematic roles, still as diverse, but less controversial and fandom splitting.

[coffee-at-annies]

F, N, T?

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Well this is the hockey sideblog and I’ve been active over here since around 2017. I transitioned from omgcp and yuri on ice to primarily hockey around 2018-2020 and I’ve been here since. There’s fluctuations in interest and my levels of fandom participation but y’know it’s weird being able to say I’ve actively been here for around 5 years.

For passive fandom I’ve been a fan of dc/teen titans since the OG cartoon and when they rebooted teen titans after Donna’s death. So like I’ve been a passive Tim Drake+ fan for some 15-20 years, I’m just not active in dc comics fandom outside of like reading fanfic. Idk if I could call that my longest fandom since I’m not creating any content. If reading a thing counts I’ve also been actively reading Girl Genius for over 10 years.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

*stares deep into the middle distance and contemplates how much I want to whack the hornets nest* Hope you’re prepared for more hockey.

More love/interest for non-superstar players. Everyone has their guy, their blorbo, their favorite, but that’s very frequently the big guys on the team y’know. The emotional support depth forward or third D deserves love too

This feels very silly since I’m talking about professional sports but a thing I see people struggling with when posting about sports online is emotional regulation in regards to losses. Watching your special guys lose sucks. The serotonin broadcast didn’t make the happy win chemical. It can be worse if you spent money to see it live. That’s hard to deal with. I repeat, it’s really hard to deal with if you’re new to it and deep in the hyperfixation. I’ve struggled with it myself. The place I see issues is that some people make that others’ problem either by doomspiraling or baiting. It’s not the job of a stranger on the internet to tell you how to manage your emotions and expectations. Losing happens. Losing streaks happen. How you deal with it is a reflection on you. I understand that sometimes we get folks who are experiencing baby’s first fandom and haven’t figured out how not to make their emotions everyone else’s problem, but it’s an absolutely essential skill in any fandom or interpersonal context.

This is aimed at the more fannish side of things but I wish there was more variation. I see a lot of team mom and nesting omega jokes and I’m like why is it always the same person getting written as feminized/sub/bottom/omega. Why are we recreating cishet gender nonsense for mlm ships? Where’s the alpha/alpha? The switching? Why does everything have to be rigid? Where’s the fluidity in who does what? In interpretations? Where is the fluidity of human sexuality? I feel like people are sometimes holding so tightly to a headcanon that they forget to be playful with it. Or maybe the tightness is the playfulness and that’s how you see the guy. It doesn’t match up with how I see them but that’s fine. I just feel like there’s so much emphasis on getting it right that we aren’t exploring what else right could look like.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Oh tons. I’ve partaken in “he would not fucking say that” a bunch. There’s lots of stuff for any number of fandoms that are tightly held and I’ll die on this hill. I’m also very flexible most of the time. I’m both very specific about my headcanons and also willing to change based on what’s going on. I contain multitudes and so does fandom.

Heck occasionally I have two ride or die headcanons that are contradictory because thats just how it is sometimes. I’m trying to think of an example but I’m not coming up with anything specific. The joy of fandom is defending my headcanons to the death and then getting up and finding another hill to die on. Fandom should be about joy and play. If it doesn’t spark joy I should figure out why and what I can do about it and move on. No use dwelling on a thing that isn’t making me happy unless it’s like an angst headcanon in which case I’m getting joy from the saddness.

Letter Asks

[initiumseries]

I think the highly specific thing other anon was talking about is the YA series by Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR). But other anon, please feel free to correct me. I don’t want to put words in your mouth.

I think the female MC, Feyre, had two love interests. As a poor human, she had been hunting in the woods and killed a wolf—really a faerie—and so had to pay for her sin by going into the faerie world with the high lord the wolf was friends with, Tamlin. While in the faerie world, Tamlin essentially allows Feyre free reign, feeds her, offers to teach her how to read, etc. At some point he is forced into a dangerous situation and to prevent Feyre from accompanying him he locks her in his house, with all of the amenities (in the form of staff to feed her and entertain her) and this is super triggering for her because she’s had been experiences with being jailed and with her autonomy taken away.

Then Feyre is somehow traded to the night court, where her apparent mate, Rhysand resides. Unlike Tamlin, Rhysand treats his people like garbage. I think he tortures Feyre for a little bit and forces her to perform sexual acts on him in public but it’s okay because he sends her musicians at sleep time to keep her sane. Their relationship is contingent upon Feyre accepting their mate bond. Throughout their relationship, Rhysand hides vital information from Feyre but frequently emphasizes how her choices are important to him and how he’ll always respect her, unlike Tamlin. At a certain point, she gets pregnant and he chooses not to tell her that the pregnancy will be extremely risky for her and bars anyone in her social circle (that is, his own friends) from telling her as well.

Feyre is really riled up about Tamlin locking her up and so contrives a plot with Rhysand to return to Tamlin (which he is extremely relieved by; I don’t believe he had a part in forcing her to go to the night court) and destroy everything in the area he governs, which ends up hurting his people and not him. Very odd, honestly. Like, you object to being temporarily locked up for your own protection—which you should be! no one should be imprisoned no matter how nice the prison—but you’re okay with someone sexually assaulting you so long as they say sorry and that from now on they’ll value your choices and then they don’t?

It all kind of reminds me of the argument in TVD, where fans argue that Stefan tried to control Elena and restrict her vampiric hedonism while Damon allowed her to embrace her darkness and be free. It’s like, are we even in the same reality?

Yeah, this is too much. More younger people need to actually learn feminism is always my takeaway with issues like this. I saw a tweet the other day that said feminism isn't girly pop girl boss liberal feminism and that really resonated with me, because a lot of women who are liberals (not leftists), think they're feminists and will write stuff like this and then, the general public, who often have no idea what feminism really is because we aren't taught it and no one cares to learn about it because that requires reading, kinda swallow this girl boss stuff which leads us to situations like this where we can say an abusive, controlling character is actually the good one. So typical.

[afro-elf]

fine, i’ll elaborate on my thoughts about tylor sift but they will be disorganized

disclaimer: i know a few people will read this and be like “op is a hozier fan can she really talk about the cultural obsession with mediocre white art?” and the answer is yes because a) i’m black and i have an english degree so can do whatever i fucking want, b) hozier is a better artist than taylor objectively, like his mediocre tracks would be considered her great ones, and c) the comparison of taylor to hozier is part of the problem Genuinely because i don’t even think white people like half the music they listen to, they just don’t wanna be left behind, we’ll get into this later. i’m sorry to everyone who is tired of hearing about him but hozier will be returning later in this post jsfglsjlgldsjlfd

second note: read this

i don’t just dislike taylor because she’s white. i don’t dislike taylor because she’s a woman. i don’t dislike her because she writes mean and petty lyrics about past relationships and people who wronged her. i don’t dislike taylor because her public circle of friends is almost exclusively blonde white celebrities with their own laundry lists of issues that includes ryan reynolds and blake lively who are poster children for white privilege and pseudo-excellence if i’ve ever seen them. i dislike taylor because the amalgamation of all of those things is so exemplary of a huge problem i have with the music industry in general but also like american society

fuck it, numbered list!

1. taylor swift consistently releases the same mediocre album but in different colors. every album is the same lyrically and tonally. her body of work rarely goes very far above “good for taylor swift”. folklore as both title and musical aesthetic is irrelevant to the actual content of the album, which is just every taylor swift album except set to folk pop and with a bit more cussing, congrats for baby’s first swear. i’ve seen folklore compared to much better bodies of work and even propped up by stans as album of the year, a distinction that rina sawayama and chloe x halle will be battling it out for if there is any justice in the world at all. the fact that she is allowed to do this and still be considered great when this is something that even white male artists are butchered critically for... astounds me. like we all know how well received all of coldplay’s similar sounding albums are.... Come on. 

2. i don’t think taylor or her work is particularly feminist and yet for some reason every time she frowns an army of white women brings her kleenex. i’m not saying taylor’s anger has always been unjustified, but her feminism to me has always felt like “i can do whatever a man can do” feminism, which is utterly fucking useless to me as a black woman. it’s only useful to her because as a wealthy, white, straight, cis white woman her ONLY obstacle in life is her gender. and if she just didn’t have that tricky little bitch then maybe people would take her seriously. like, just think about her music video for the man... what was the thesis of that? what was the point of that? with all of her privileges she’d just be gaining a single extra privilege. she’s a blonde blue eyed thin white girl, the world kisses her feet. i have no interest in proving myself any better or any worse than white men, they are not the standard for how a person should be treated, they’re cautionary tales, and white women are too. i think taylor capitalizes off of white woman victimhood, and it’s all over her writing style. even when she’s trying to be empowered, like in mad woman for example, there is this tone to it of victimization, poking the bear, unleashing the beast if you will. she invokes the imagery of salem witches and even more boldly chooses a noose to write about in the song which is..... surely going to be a white tumblr staple for many gifsets to come but holy shit is it hollow. she also tends to come back to teenage memories in her music and she’s thirty. i don’t think about being seventeen unless i’m being held at gunpoint but she seems to think about it All The Time. and part of this is to keep herself young, at least in her music, which only further ingrains this image of fragile teeny bopper taylor into the mind of the listener, fueling her victim image. this imagery and language means nothing because the world always rallies around taylor. even when she was the butt of jokes for not being beyonce (which she is not and never can be) and writing about her exes (which she does), she was largely supported by the industry and by critics. look at how many fucking awards she has!

3. folk and indie and alternative music is in a moment of transition, where musicians of color are getting the chance to really speak about how they’ve been treated in these overwhelmingly white circles and create their own standards and their own voices. and for taylor swift to swoop in with aaron dessner and jack antonoff fantano and almost reassert that mid-2010s indie sound as The Sound of folk pop in the popular consciousness.... it makes me violent! it! makes! me! violent! 

4. back to hozier! finally, i wanna talk about white standom, fandom, bandom, and womandom. i often see these very superficial comparisons between hozier and taylor (and hozier and florence and hozier and stevie nicks and hozier and whatever other white woman in fashion) and they frustrate me for more than one reason. i know that hozier has met taylor and said she’s cool, which is nice of him and he’s a nice man, but i’m not a nice man so i’m going to just say it: none of the people who have made those posts have listened to more than four hozier songs and it shows. the reason why this matters is because these posts catch on and create an image and preconception of hozier’s music that is divorced from reality and divorced from his influences and most importantly divorced from the deliberate and reverent blackness of his musical style. hozier has his white male privilege in the industry for sure but he’s not as towering of a giant as taylor and taylor’s music is an unsalted chicken, plain oatmeal, white paint drying on a white wall, a stick of unflavored gum. her music is so white it told me that its dad is a cop. i am, as a black hozier fan, exhausted with having to share space with white women who don’t know why hozier’s music kicks me in my lungs sometimes and think that taylor mentioning a tree ONCE in her 3 minute acoustic guitar slog about whatever suburb is the same when it simply is not. i swear some of you are pretending to love taylor because your friends love her and you don’t wanna be left out of the hot new musical discourse but she’s only the hot new musical discourse CONSTANTLY because she’s a white woman, she’s almost the Perfect white woman. like if someone asked me to describe a white woman, it would be taylor swift. her position at the top of the musical pyramid among people who eclipse her musically, vocally, and lyrically is only allowed because she’s The Perfect White Woman. she’s an ideal. white girls relate to her immediately because of it and now we have this unshakable mob of unbearable white women who think that the world has wronged someone who literally wrote fanfiction about the rich oil heiress white woman who owned her rhode island mansion before her aklghlghdhlgs it drives me fucking NUTS 

anyway that’s all. if you made it this far, listen to adia victoria, kaia kater, samantha crain, valerie june, kelsey lu, corinne bailey rae, brittany howard, kimya dawson, japanese breakfast, cold specks, left at london, rhiannon giddens, aisha badru, shea diamond, nadine shah, xenia rubinos, karen o, mirel wagner.... Anyone

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

On the topic of the taylor/abortion thing even if she does say something at this point people will just use it as way to say she’s being performative bc she was called out, or that she’s only saying something now bc she got backlash or bc her fans told her to. People would make it out like she didn’t do it at her own volition bc she was “forced/bullied” into it. It’s sad bc she can’t win no matter what she does. 1. She jumps the gun and is the first to say something - “she’s overreacting” 2. she waits - “she only did it bc we told her to/she only did it bc she got called out on Twitter” 3. she says nothing - “she’s so performative and fake with her selective feminism.” She’ll never please everyone no matter what she does.

Me personally, I think she should wait until an official verdict has been handed down, right now it’s just a leaked draft. Even though I know it’s likely the final decision, I just think she should wait for it to be official to make some kind of move. I think someone mentioned this yesterday or maybe it was even you Sarah I can’t remember. We know how she feels and we know her stance. And honestly I don’t see her making a statement on the matter right now anything but some form of virtue signaling or way to announce where she stands on the topic, which again, we already know.

Overall I think we need to be little kinder and cut her some slack, for all we know something could going behind the scenes in her life like something with her mom and speaking up on social issues may not be her biggest concern rn. Not saying that to excuse anything, but we can’t know for sure. As we’ve learned with other celebrities they can be going through some shit and we’d have no idea. Outward appearances aren’t everything and maybe her silence is justified rather than tone deaf.

Hi! Thanks so much for this. I think (for now) these are the last thoughts needed on the subject.

To that, I think most of us can agree that the window of time where if she were going to say something has passed and that we are no longer talking about when she is going to say something at this juncture. The consensus atm on TSS is the next opportune time to talk about the issue would be upon the final release and/or midterms. Which time shall only tell.

I don't mean to overlook the genuine lose/lose situations Taylor and a lot of women (famous or not) are put in for basically every facet of our beings - that is real and that happens often. But no, imo she would not have been accused of jumping the gun or overreacting if she had released a statement. And even if she were, she would be in the company of dozens of other public figures and tens of thousands of outraged and upset people reacting to the news. I also genuinely don't think if she announced a significant financial donation to PP services that it would be seen as virtue signalling - which I take to mean saying something simply to say it but not backing it up with action. Again, I'm not saying she should do that now or that it's off the table at key moments in the future - just my personal thought on if she had done something that I don't think she would have gotten flack for it.

Lastly, for me personally I really feel strongly that we should stop evoking Andrea and the state of her health as a possible reason to explain away Taylor's inactivity. While it's certainly possible and you are absolutely right in that we don't know all that's going on behind the scenes (with famous people or anyone - our lives are not meant to only be consumed on social media) ((nuance: It is absolutely possible Taylor made a private PP donation and chose not to advertise it on her social media which is certainly something she could have done)), it makes me uncomfortable to see her used in this manner as a fallback to justify why Taylor may or may not be doing something. And maybe that's a personal reaction to it that is just on me, having been through something similar with my own mom. But it just makes me so uncomfy. And in this particular instance, I think it's safe to assume that Andrea's possible health is not the reason for Taylor choosing not to say something on Roe v Wade (which is her willful choice to not do) - given she used her Instagram Stories to plug CWF (don't @ me - I'm not saying she shouldn't plug it, it's her partners most significant small screen role and I'm sure she's very excited about it and has reason to be).