#and if his motivation for being there was related somehow to why he hates Phoenix so much....

[kingdomoftyto]

WAIT, FRICK, I think I've got it

holy SHIT that's a well-played twist

[bonnieisaway]

Hi ! I am so happy to meet other people liking scissors seven ! The joy is enormous ! Anyway I was wondering about your thoughts on the Xuanwu assassins mostly the ones like Blackbird, the red woman (forgot her name), Red Tooth, Green Phoenix, etc

HELLO :33 okay this post might get really long

as for Blackbird: honestly I don't have too many thoughts on him... fucking LOVE his design though. and his backstory is super cool and I love how subtle his motivations are but how obvious it feels to any viewer why he's doing the things he does and why it makes sense. Over the course of the end of season 3 and the start of season 4, Blackbird starts the fight saying he doesn't want the money, he wants Seven to die slowly and painfully at his hands. and then by the end of it, he's saying "Your death will be quick, I promise you." And it's kind of subtle as to why his attitude changed but uses his backstory to illustrate his personality and motivations so much. He wants to be the hero. He wants to be selfless and say - "oh, I don't care for the reward, but I need to punish him" when we've seen no indication as to why he would want Seven dead personally, but when Seven starts winning the fight, Blackbird isn't playing games anymore. He needs Seven dead. He needs to be the hero here. He's been conditioned as long as he's be training that someone else can take the prize, the notoriety, the reward, but he has to be the one to do the job. And it fuckin destroys him when he can't because he can't possibly fathom not being the hero. Because he's sacrificed his entire body and life for this, if he doesn't win this fight, if he can't be the hero here, then what was it all for? What was the point of his suffering and his pain? And ultimately he goes so far to justify his suffering that it gets him killed. Which is unfortunate because I kinda wanted to see more of his character, but it's so.. in line and dedicated to his motivations and character building. Like it's so on brand for him and it illustrates his character so well, I just hope we get to see flashbacks of him in the past so we can see more of his personality.

Manjusaka (the red woman): HOOOOOO BOY. So I also adore her design, I actually have a character I made (for a different thing, not related to S7) where I took inspiration from Manjusaka's coat because I just love her design so much. She's very.. confusing to me? I hope we get to see her in flashbacks too - or at least she somehow lives through the end of season four, though it seems unlikely) - because I don't understand her motivations, or why she was obsessed with Seven. Every other Shadow Killer has their own reasons for their relationship or fight with Seven, most of them boil down to greed or their pride, but with Manjusaka you just don't know. Of course she's obligated to at least TRY and kill him because the leader said "kill that man," but what's the reason for her "crush"? Her obsession? What purpose was there in killing the Girl in White - or at least lying to Seven that she did??? What about her mentioned previous obsession with Green Phoenix?? She's notably the only woman of the Shadow Killers, does her demeanor have anything to do with needing to be stronger than the men around her, similar to Eleven? I dunno! I want to know more. So badly. I feel like I'm gonna say "I WANNA KNOW MORE" about like all of these characters

Redtooth: I don't know if this is a hot take but I hated him back before season 3 came out. And even then I kinda still hated him up until season 4. I could not fucking fathom why everybody loved him, because his backstory just looked like "boohoo I signed up to be in a clan where I can't have a girlfriend and I want a girlfriend" , but I'm fucking THRILLED that season 4 went so in-depth with his story and emotions and really made it clear why he is the way he is. I mean, the show uses a lot of show-don't-tell, so it's not OBVIOUS obvious, but they laid it out in a way where he made sense to me and I could put together why he's like that. I think I had like three separate posts about him and his relationship with Huilian (do I call her Huilian, or jiang?? is Jiang the last name??) but I really wanna focus here: I fucking adore how his past and his relationship with Huilian shaped his relationship with Seven. He fought tooth and nail and gave up everything he ever wanted to become powerful and worth something, and when this scrawny, 15 year old kid becomes a Shadow Killer without a single kill to his name, Redtooth feels threatened by him. To dare imply that this kid could somehow be on the same level as him? And then Redtooth couldn't beat him in that fight - mostly because he got stopped by Green Phoenix - and Redtooth is fucking furious he can't win. He needs the be stronger than Seven, he has to be better than this literal child! And he isn't and his hatred just festers and festers and he just wants Seven dead. And it's not said out loud but this is so obviously because of the way he had been treated in the Heaven Lily sect, and it's just so insanely well written the way his past warps the way he interacts with the world around him. I think this goes for everybody, just their past and present always feel so beautifully connected and so well represented in the way they act.

Green Phoenix: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay actually. like I feel like there's so much to say about him and I don't know where to START bro. mainly I adore his relationship with Thirteen. During season 2 I was impartial about him, and during season 3 I did not like him - I mean I loved seeing him and he's so cool, but as a character I hated him (not as much as I did redtooth tho) because I only understood that he was just using Thirteen. He's such a glaringly obvious replacement for her father, he is her weakness in every situation because he matters so much to her, being that he's the closest thing she has to a father, even if he's ruthless - I mean, in her eyes, being ruthless and teaching her to be the way she is was all she ever wanted. And then in season 4 he admits that he used her, every step of the way, from the very beginning, and yet through all that he could never predict that he'd care for her so much and love her like a real daughter, I fucking cried. I cried so hard. I have so many daddy issues I do not know how to deconstruct these two's relationship. I mean, the show has such a MASSIVE emphasis on protection, and your loved ones, and Seven's constant motivation is his adoration for the bonds between the people around him, and just .. the most calculated and cold Shadow Killer, the "weakest" yet the smartest, being unable to account for the love he could feel for someone he saw like his daughter and letting that ruin his decade or better of planning. It's so perfect. He's so perfect. I love that he's not explicitly forgiven or he never tries to say that Thirteen shouldn't be upset. She's reasonably disappointed and you can see it in her face - but when he hands over his sword to her to take her as a real disciple, to pass on the art of Green Cloud as if she were his own daughter, he's not forgiven, it doesn't make up for it, but it means so much. Thirtreen changes his perspective forever - as the Prince of Green Cloud, it was always his priority, and his revenge for what the leader of the Shadow Killers did does not mean killing him, it doesn't mean destroying the Shadow Killers, but it means letting Green Cloud live on through Thirteen. He tried to kill all of Green Cloud and erase it and he failed, and Green Phoenix may not be able to kill the leader, or to ruin the Shadow Killers, but the key difference is: every Shadow Killer is doomed to die in the act of killing - as White Fox says - and they are. Green Cloud will never die. It lives on in Thirteen. But Redtooth has died and come back already, Green Phoenix is dead, Blackbird is dead, and Manjusaka is dead - or at least they were wounded fatally enough I don't think they're getting back up.

I think I love most of all how loveable all these characters are (Manjusaka is ....... sometimes, she is! She sure is a character sometimes!!) despite the fact they are point blank the villains in the story. That they're an obstacle that, in most cases, have to die. That doesn't stop them from being loveable, from having such intricate backstories and detailed personalities, and sometimes it feels like nobody is the villain aside from the leader, given how fervently everyone believes in their own motivations and wants. But that doesn't redeem or ignore the things they have done - Manjusaka killed a group of random people just for talking shit, Redtooth is a conniving, evil and broken man shaped by his past, Green Phoenix spent almost his entire life tunnel visioned on a revenge plan that ultimately almost ruined the person he cherished most, Blackbird is known for being somebody who tortures and psychologically ruins people, a brutal, prideful man with a fallen apart sect that he can no longer save. They've all done such objectively awful things and yet they're written so well and motivated so beautifully that it doesn't always justify or dismiss the things they've done, but you're capable of loving them anyways. Being an obstacle in Seven's path doesn't make them two dimensional or black and white 'evil.' The writing is just so insanely good in this fucking show. I feel like I could (andprobablyhave) go on for days about it because just. Everytime I feel like I'm done talking there's more to talk about. GOD this show needs a bigger fanbase there's so much thought and love put into it and just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sorry this answer got so long nonnie ;; I know you might've been expecting something a lot shorter and condensed just once I get started talking about this show I can't stop. I'm like a dog in a cage and if you put your fingers through the bars I WILL bite (start babbling about scissor seven) and I feel like this isn't even the full extent of how much I could talk about these motherfuckers. I do better when I'm asked specific questions because god there's just so much in this show and so much to talk about when I'm asked general questions it's so hard to get everything out. Anyways thank you so much for the opportunity to rant I love you with my heart I love meeting and talking to scissor seven fans it's so wonderful okay ily have a good day

[bharatiya-naari-sab-pe-bhaari]

Why I love Severus Snape [ A rather long rant]

People have a rather misguided notion over my reasons for falling for Severus Snape's character. They think I am whitewashing him. So, I decided to correct all of their misinterpretations once and for all. So anyone who decides to give their unwanted two cents on why I shouldn't simp Snape while browsing through my account, you are all welcome to read this and then respectfully go to hell.

I don't love Severus Snape because he was a misunderstood noble hero.

Nah! Bleh!

What a thought!

I love Severus Snape because he was a super intelligent, genius brained, lethally loyal, ferally deadly, petty, caustic, acerbic tongued, razor sharp, I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck-bout-anyone-else's-opinion, having a morbid sense of humour, sassy li'l bitch.

There you go.

The utter crystal candid truth for you all Ladies and Gentlemen and everyone else.

I have always been fascinated with complex characters with innumerable layers and Severus Snape falls perfectly into that category. The man is absolutely fascinating and most of his actions throughout the series are so deliciously confounding that it makes me almost salivate. I had always been attracted to him and his entire vampire-ish dressing sense (I could care less for physical unattractiveness). It was somehow weird as he never gave me the vibes of being a totally side plot villain making the protagonist's life miserable. He was more like an unsolved mystery.

A highly volatile chemical compound gaining momentum in the background, ready to explode at the shortest notice.

Snape's highly confusing behaviour had me successfully entranced and guessing as to his motives. Which made me want to read him all the more desperately.

And of course, that razor sharp tongue complete with that sadistic humour just added to his overall persona beautifully. I myself am quite a sarcastic person and I use sarcasm and biting humour to hide a boatload of issues, and a few skeletons in the cupboard. So I relate to him at a personal level which had made me wonder (in the initial books of the series) whether he had something to hide as well.

Another thing I loved about Snape was that he was a startlingly pragmatic character. He was never taken in by Potter's hero status, anyone's sweet behaviour or the usual paraphernalia of the slightly overbearing demeanour of the concocted situations at Hogwarts. His no nonsense attitude appealed to me at a personal level. I have had the misfortune (as might have many of you I am assuming) of working with diabetically sweet people who have nothing but the worst intentions in their minds hidden for you while sprouting honey to your face. I hate it.

I'd rather work with a difficult colleague who has no qualms about telling what he/she thinks about me to my face than a overtly friendly one who back bitches.

And Severus Snape fits that bill perfectly as well. He might have nothing good to say to you on your face but he doesn't seem like a man who would be sweet to you in face and back bitch, ie; unless you are Voldemort (though I highly doubt that he was 'sweet' to you-know-who as well, deferential maybe as an act... but not cute.)

Of course one of the key factors of loving Snape obviously came later in the books where he was revealed to be a Spy for the Order of the Phoenix. I have always loved men in the espionage business. There is something uniquely appealing about them. You have to be fundamentally crooked to be a successful and efficient spy. The thrill and scent of lethal danger has always stuck to Snape's whole persona like a leach ever since he was introduced. And the facts unearthed about him later just solidified the beliefs further. I mean, how can you not admire the man's courage when he routinely engages in a mind battle with the World's most talented Legilimens who also happens to be the foremost terror of every wizard and witch's life, a genocidal maniac who has an obscene fascination with torture, who would never stop to think before killing someone painfully and with powers beyond anyone's comprehension with no compulsion of misusing them for fun if not anything else.

And this man, a child almost in comparison to the wizards who control him like a puppet, faces both of his almighty masters with a distinct lack of the physical expression of fear and laudable control.

His respect, admiration and dare I say affection of sorts for Dumbledore is a mystery to me as well. I mean, given Snape's evident intelligence and pride, he has to know that he is being played by the genial old wizard like a pawn in his elaborate game with Riddle.

Dumbledore trusts Snape implicitly because he knows his reasons, he knows his deepest darkest secrets, he knows that he owns Snape's soul. He can twist and break him, mould and mutilate him to his whims. And hence the absolute trust. Snape knows that he is powerless and helpless at the situation with his present master. He serves Dumbledore even after the Leader of the Light had failed to keep his promise of keeping Lily safe. He trusts him to win the war knowing that he himself will get sacrificed at Harry Potter's altar. Yet he plays on and somehow mysteriously feels a hint of adoration for Albus Dumbledore even though the centenarian has done nothing notable to earn it.

And of course one of the most notable reasons for loving Severus Snape would obviously be his die hard loyalty. How ironic it is for a spy to be so deadly loyal. He has played triple agent for most of his life yet maintained an unfailing loyalty to the memory of a dead woman who once happened to be his childhood friend. A woman who had abandoned him at convenience and jumped into the sack with his worst teenage tormentor. He pledged to protect Harry throughout his life for honouring his mother's memory. For wilfully righting a wrong he had committed.

And here in lies one of the most voraciously and viciously discussed controversies. So it is imminent that I add my two cents as well.

Severus Snape had in his short tragic life filled with adversities of the worse kind, made only one true friend who lasted for an even shorter period of time.

And he had loved her.

Maybe it was romantic, maybe it was platonic but that is not the point.

Love can be expressed in various forms but at its core the emotion remains the same. Severus Snape had loved Lily Evans Potter to the best of his capabilities. And it was due to his love for her that he ultimately changed sides and joined the right side of the war. And why not. Why should his decision be damned by everyone as selfish because he changed sides for love. Isn't that what is the ultimately reason why we do what we do? The love for one person, the love for our families, the entire community as a whole... whatever. Love is love... whoever you express it to. So why should we make an exception for Snape. He might not have thought of the so called greater good but why the heck should he? He might not have even thought about James Potter and their son (and no I don't care.. I would have spat on Potter's dead body while bypassing him).

What has the world even given him except alienation, ostracization, pain and humiliation?

A person cannot be called evil and his reasons cannot be deemed as selfish only because he is not altruistic (which is an individualistic trait and only a paragon of virtue of the highest order can achieve it and also no... the marauders didn't join the light side because they cared for the entire world, they did it because they hated the other side).

Snape's love for Lily has been termed as obsessive and creepy.

Why? Because it was not returned? I mean seriously?

History has borne testimony to the greatest love stories which end up being unrequited. Unrequited love has been told to be the most powerful form of it.

There is one thing I want to stress here.

The consequence of the actions of your lover (requited or not) does not in any capacity define the intention or intensity of your love for him or her.

Anyone who thinks otherwise has to be truly brainless.

So, in accordance, Lily Potter's not returning Severus Snape's feelings (platonic or romantic) does not automatically make his love for her as wrong or impure. He has never forced his feelings on her. He has never forced her to return his feelings. He has never manipulated situations in an attempt to make her fall in love with him. He has never used her weaknesses or someone she loves as means to make her comply with him. [Cue, all the things one James Potter has done canonically]. He has never even told her about his feelings.

Heck the man has never even addressed her with her maiden name, after she had married, harbouring no spite against her while speaking of her in her absence.

So just because Lily didn't choose Snape doesn't automatically make his love for her false and just because she married James doesn't make him true and pure in default. [which is an argument I have sadly come across many times... I mean seriously!!!?]

From when did his love start becoming creepy or obsessive? Where in the world has it been written or even admitted that you cannot love a person who is committed to another? You can't control who you fall in love with or even when to cease loving that person. You can only control your actions towards that person. And I can find no actions that can be used to testify in favour of obsessive behaviour against Snape.

The Patronus you say...

I will give you all an answer.

James Potter's Patronus is a Stag and Lily Potter's Patronus is a doe. They are the male and female versions of the same breed. A stag which can primarily dominate over the doe in means of physical strength and otherwise. Severus Snape's Patronus on the other hand is a doe as well. What I would like to believe is... in this way Snape see's Lily as his equal. A love which primarily focuses on equality. Even if someone doesn't want to interpret this in this way. Would you all agree then to the fact that Harry's Patronus being a Stag directly implies that he is obsessed with his father..? Eh?

And ultimately if his motto was to... fuck... Lily (which is also one of the many insulting motives I see people use to twist Snape's sacrifices and make fun of) how could he have done that precisely.. coz Lily was... dead..? Remember that... what had he thought? He'll fuck her in heaven?

See people might start giving me reasons like he bullied children, took unfair points, was rude and harsh and etc etc.

Please don't.

I like him harsh and rude and arrogant. The man is far more knowledgeable and clever than most of the wizarding community combined. He can afford his arrogance. Not like Lockhart who could only boast and do nothing.

And the unfair points taking.. he did have to maintain a image in front , because of Albus's belief that Voldemort would return and that he would have to have a good explanation ready to get back into the Dark Lord's good graces. Half the Slytherin's parents were Death Eaters. You think they wouldn't have gone back and complained to their parents if they had seen Snape being congenial or fair to the Gryffindor's and other houses.

And personally to Harry... yes he was petty and no I don't care.. plus he had to, again, maintain his hatred filled image for Potter in front of the rest. He could not even pretend to be bad and then be good later in secret, because.. hey.. Voldie's a legilimens.

And sometimes I agree with him taking the points...

Harry is not a very respectful child anyways. He has some major anger management issues to work out for sure. Everyone might not appreciate cheek from students. And that's totally fine.

But coming to the end of my terra sized rant I would like to sign out by giving you all the most important reason why I adore this fundamentally fucked up man (and no, its not cause he was loyal to Lily... I could care less for that... bleh!).

It is because even after being pushed into the darkness. Letting it creep into him, festering like a stale mould inside his soul, all the bitterness and cynicism, agony and humiliation, pain and pride and arrogance aside... Severus Snape had the courage to admit he was wrong. And then immerse himself in the path of redemption to correct his mistakes, atone for his misdeeds. Yes, he was wrong and he made a fucking mistake.. don't we all. But he worked towards correcting it once he was shown the light. He toiled and broke and twisted himself, letting everyone despise him, isolating himself from all comfort and care and walked the path of redemption.

And he achieved it in the end. Whatever the price he paid for selling his soul to the Devil... he was redeemed in the end. We can't know whether he had done more than was required or just as much, but no one can, in their right unbiased and logical mind, say that it was less. It can't be and you all know it.

He bore the Dark Mark on his left forearm, darkness in his soul, wore dark clothes and served a Dark Master for the entirety of his miserable existence and fought for the light, was hated for it till his very end and yet ultimately it was because of him that Harry Potter won the wizarding world the war both times considered.

And he didn't give a flying fuck either ways.

And thus I love him.

Period.

Okay, end of rant. Thanks for coming.

[newt-and-salamander]

Okay, so here are my thoughts on Secrets of Dumbledore based on what we recently learned from the synopsis:

Professor Albus Dumbledore knows the powerful Dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald is moving to seize control of the wizarding world.  Unable to stop him alone, he entrusts Magizoologist Newt Scamander to lead an intrepid team of wizards, witches and one brave Muggle baker on a dangerous mission, where they encounter old and new beasts and clash with Grindelwald's growing legion of followers.  But with the stakes so high, how long can Dumbledore remain on the sidelines?

First of all: “Secrets of Dumbledore” is a quite boring name (I mean a few people even (almost) guessed it before) but I think it’s practical. It can refer (obviously) to Albus, but also to Credence/Aurelius, Aberforth, Ariana, … and whoever might be a secret Dumbledore. (Jacob? Picket?!? Everyone, probably.) Taking into account the author’s ominous “answers are given” she once said about FB3, I believe in the end we will know how exactly Credence, Dumbledore and Grindelwald are connected.

Also, I wonder how much the film really will be about Dumbledore? “Crimes of Grindelwald” wasn’t really about Grindelwald after all. I imagine it to be about Dumbledore and his family in the beginning, probably some flashbacks, then he gives Newt some kind of a mission. The main part of the film could be about Newt and his team trying to accomplish that mission, and in the end (maybe when Newt fights his duel with Grindelwald), Dumbledore realises that not everything turned out as he planned (or did it?) and decides that “the stakes are too high to remain on the sidelines”. The question is if he will be able to openly move against Grindelwald, that depends on the blood pact and maybe on whether Newt is able to accomplish his mission. Or maybe, Grindelwald fighting Newt already counts as moving against Dumbledore so he will break the blood pact first? But I rather think, both Dumbledore and Grindelwald are too smart to break the pact on accident – we don’t know of the consequences they would have to face if they violated the pact, but I don’t doubt they would be terrible.

What made me frown at first, but happy after I gave it some more thought, was the idea of Newt as a team leader. Because – I don’t really see him as a leader. He’s a private and quiet person. But (and this is the good part) he is also an absolute expert for magical beasts. So, if he is to lead a team, it is certainly because of something beast-related! And I love this possibility. It’s “fantastic beasts” after all, and in my opinion, the creatures are the most magical part of the films!

What are Newt and his team doing on their journey? I can see two main possibilities here: a) looking for a way to destroy the blood pact, b) looking for a way to properly separate an Obscurus from its host. A blood pact seems to be a very powerful kind of magical bond/object, but let’s not forget that Harry managed to destroy a Horkrux with a Basilisk’s fang – so maybe there are other beasts with strong curse-breaking abilities? As for the Obscurus, we know that Newt has tried before with a girl, but she died. We just don’t know if this was because he hadn’t perfectionated the spell yet, or if he just came too late to save her.

So, who is on the team? Jacob for sure, I don’t know another brave Muggle baker. I’m also sure Bunty will come along as it was said that she will be much more important in this film, and she also is a beast expert. Tina? Hopefully! Nagini and Yusuf Kama? Probably, because otherwise, what would be their purpose (sorry)? Theseus? Nah, he’s a ministry man, I suppose he will concentrate on politics. (And I can’t really see him being bossed around by his little brother. :D But it would be lots of fun. Maybe he will be on the Berlin part of the mission because I don’t imagine lots of creatures living there.) Then we have the ominous Eulalie Hicks who has to fit in somehow, but we don’t know enough about her at this point to know whether she will rather accompany Newt or maybe will be more of a kind of advisor for Dumbledore. And, of course, I wonder if we will see Flamel again? He’s an alchemist, so maybe he has some ideas about how to destroy a blood pact.

Regarding “old and new beasts”, we will certainly see Pickett and the Niffler (they are just too popular now and can’t be left out. Also, I’m rather sure Newt won’t go anywhere without Pickett. The Niffler has proven to be rather useful, especially now that he can track Tina’s footsteps, hehe. Okay, stealing the blood pact also was rather useful I admit). I wonder if we might also see Frank again, maybe connected to Eulalie. I really hope to see the Zouwu, I just loved her and maybe that’s (part of) the reason for a trip to China? As for new beasts… I have no idea and I doubt that my current copy of Mr Newt Scamander’s book will be a great help because some of the creatures weren’t featured in it before they appeared on screen. But I’m sure we will see a lot of the Phoenix (Fawkes?) because it/he is clearly connected to the Dumbledores. And what about the Kelpie? It still appears a little strange to me that Newt’s scene with it in CoG wasn’t cut for time as it has no connection to the plot - unless it has and we just have to find out.

It is also mentioned that Newt and his team will clash with Grindelwald’s followers. It’s obvious that this will involve Credence who is going to have a scene with Dumbledore (I think Jude Law said something like that, about having a scene with Ezra set in Berlin?). I also really hope we will see a lot of Queenie and learn more about her motivation because although we were shown her reasons to join Grindelwald in CoG, it didn’t really convince me. I especially hope for a scene with her and Tina, but… well, let’s just hope, okay? Another one of Grindelwald’s followers who I think has a very interesting role is Grimmson. He’s an undercover spy (so there’s a lot of potential for dramatic scenes where he turns out to be a traitor and turns against the ministry) and also it’s implied that he and Newt have some kind of a backstory (although that also wasn’t too clear in the film, but you could learn from the script that he hunts down magical creatures – and that’s most likely the reason why Newt and he hate each other, although it’s possible they had some more personal connection in the past… maybe fought together in the war or worked at the Ministry and were both disgusted by the other’s methods). I personally think he would be a great antagonist for Newt because their hatred for each other is so personal and natural, maybe Newts has a stronger dislike for him than for Grindelwald (much like Harry hated Snape more than Voldemort). But well, we know that in the end it will be Newt against Grindelwald…

…and that’s a point that worries me. Newt is astonishingly capable of getting himself out of dangerous situations with the help of his beasts, and he has already once defeated Grindelwald together with Tina, the Swooping Evil, and all of MACUSA’s Aurors. If this epic battle scene in the end is a 1:1 Newt against Grindelwald I see… well I don’t really see a way Newt could possibly win this fight. He’s clearly a really capable wizard but duelling is not his main interest. It might be enough to trick traffickers and escape, but we have already seen him in the NY underground fighting Grindelwald and I don’t know how it would have ended for him if Credence and Tina hadn’t interrupted the scene. Let’s see how he get’s out of the situation this time (and nope, please don’t let anybody sacrifice him- or herself for Newt, I want them all to be happy and alive… but if somebody is going to die for Newt I assume it’s either Bunty or Theseus. But, as I just said, this is definitely not going to happen because I love them all very much, so there’s no need to discuss that). I just hope the film doesn’t end with a cliff-hanger like Newt being defeated and taken hostage… because I cannot possibly wait at least another two years to learn how they solve this. Also, I have no idea if – from a marketing point of view – that would be a very good or a very bad idea. I think everyone just wants to see Newt happily together with Tina at the end of the 3rdfilm, but… who knows.

Anyway, these are my thoughts on Secrets of Dumbledore up to this point. I am super excited just thinking about the fact that we will get photos and a trailer soon!

[camsato]

. ﾟ * ｡ ･   ( ryan potter / male / he/him ) — wait, is that cameron (cam) sato-ace walking down the street? i’ve heard the seventeen year old junior at woodcreek academy happens to be a phoenix. apparently they’re really dumb & a bit of a push over, but surprisingly loyal & brave.  i always think of golden sunsets and emoji happy faces when i hear their name.  ( kayla, 22, she/her, est ) 

name: cameron (cam) taro sato-ace birthday: june 8th, 2003 gender: cismale  sexuality: bisexual languages: Japanese, English, basic spanish  siblings: layla warner-ace(foster), wanted connection open!(biological sister)

personality: + loyal, kind, honest - average, absentminded, overprotective  

aesthetic:  sunshine slipping through the clouds / sunflowers / dimples / sugary sweet coffee / video games / dad jokes / indie music / paint on your finger nails / messy canvas / dyed hair / gentle fire / hufflepuff common room / laughing till your stomach hurts / fingers through your hair / hozier

 about: (tw: death) 

Cameron taro sato was born the eldest of the sato family. his family left japan when he was three, and within the next few months gave birth to his little sister in a little town in jersey. 

a few months after that, his mom never came back. whether she left, or she got too hot and forgot herself in the next life, he’ll never really know. he was too young to remember much anyway.

it was a year later when his dad died, and with no family in the states, and none he really knew of back home either, cam and his sister entered the foster care system. 

by fifth grade, they were adopted. the ace family, from maine adopted the both of them, introducing them to their daughter, Layla. 

it didn’t take long to become friends, but it wasn’t an easy transition either. and as eldest siblings in both their own ways, they both have that older sibling, protective mentality which can be both a positive and a negative.

cam doesn’t much care for the politics at school. he knows he’s got a higher than average standing because his sister, Layla, is at the peak, and he doesn’t really make enemies, but cam much prefers a small group of friends than the wide world of high school. 

although it doesn’t pay much, cam works back of house at the diner by school to help the ace family. they may not necessarily need it, seeing as how they’re relatively well off, cam hates feeling like he’s not contributing and therefore works part-time during the school year, full-time in the summer.

when it comes to being a phoenix, he’s average, at best. he’s not entirely sure how you could be ‘the best’ at being a phoenix but he’s 100% positive that is not him. he can control his powers save for those few and far between high emotion moments. while he doesn’t get angry often, when he does it’s explosive. phoenix blood runs in the family, and while they may not be top of the phoenix hierarchy, they are controlled. 

he’s deathly afraid of getting too angry. he burns too hot, and it’s off to the next life he goes and he can’t do that to his family or friends. he has no memories of his past life, if he’s even had them and that leads him to believe he’ll be someone unrecognizable if he burns. he’s a happy go lucky guy, but he’s also clutching that for all it’s worth. it’s why he doesn’t like shifting either, feelings are multiplied when he’s in phoenix form and there stands the highest risk of ‘dying’. 

what he’s best at is probably painting. he’s average in school, average in the supernatural life, and average overall but he finally feels *special* when he paints. he’s also incredibly private about it, it’s a personal hobby he keeps close to his chest. 

wanted connections: 

best friends - since middle school would be cool! maybe even like that classic three-people brotp who are all distinctly different but somehow make it worse. or!! just buds in general. opposites, samesies, it’s all about chemistry babey! 

siblings - his biological sister or otherwise! carrie and I are open to a whole wide world of little ace’s!

enemies - this one we’re gonna have to flesh out but i’m MORE than down for it. cam gets along with everyone and doesn’t like letting people get under his skin but everyone has that ONE yaknow. idk why and idk how but let’s do this shebang. oh also unrelated but related side note there is NOTHING more delicious than an enemies to friends (to lovers?) plot 

mentor - maybe someone to get him to be MORE than average? classic believes in him and pushes him dealio bc cam’s strength is NOT self motivation. 

romance - one sided or mutual let’s get this bread babey!!! cam is bi meaning he is open to relationships with anyone, and while he’s had ‘relationships’ here and there in the past he’s never really been in LOVE. also, if we wanna start out with an established relationship I could work with that too! 

so ya, them’s the facts--- hmu to plot if u vibe wid it!!!

[greecllings]

never any goodbyes

g

the adventure zone: balance

summary: Lucretia never got to say goodbye, not really, but she only let herself regret that fact twice.

fic # four of my @badthingshappenbingo​ card! this one is ‘never got to say goodbye’+lucretia reqed by @moominquartz​!!

read on ao3

It was hard for Lucretia to say goodbye to her family, although truly, there were never any goodbyes when she stole their memories. But relocating them felt, in a strange way, like a goodbye, no matter how temporary she planned for it to be.

Her boys seemed happy in their new worlds; Merle walked through the sandy beaches, fingers intertwined with a beautiful dwarven woman; Magnus thrived in the Hammer and Tongs, his incredible woodworking skills on display for all to see; and Taako, oh Taako, who Lucretia had had so much trouble relocating, seemed so content with his new cooking show, the cameras and lights and attention all for him and him alone.

Of course, he didn’t have Lup with him, but he could never remember that he missed her, her absence leaving a hole in Taako’s heart that he could never know how to fill.

She searched for Lup still. And Barry. Of course she searched for them. They were her family.

But they were nowhere to be found.

After wiping the memories of her family, her search for the missing members led her to the ground around the Starblaster. She searched for ages for any sign of Barry; if the newly broken rail on the deck of the ship was anything to go by, Barry had to be on the ground.

Gods, she hoped he was dead before he hit the ground.

She only found the smallest signs of an impact, just the marks where something had hit the ground, hard. But there were no signs of Barry’s body, only the sad, flattened grass and barely disturbed earth where his body must have hit.

Oh gods, Barry was a lich. And if he was a lich, all of his memories would still be intact.

He’d know what she’d done.

Lucretia broke down, kneeling over the spot where her dear brother had died—or, at least where his body had landed. Would he hate her? Barry wasn’t the type to hate, but that was under normal circumstances, and these were not normal circumstances.

She felt a small hand rest on her back, and turned to find Davenport standing behind her. He looked so worried. He didn’t even know what for.

Still, he held her while she sobbed, gently patting her back in an effort to console Lucretia, even though he couldn’t know why he cared so much about her. Lucretia tried so hard to find comfort in her captain’s embrace, but it only increased the flow of her tears; her captain, so dedicated to his cause that it became his life, and now, because of her, he couldn’t remember any of it—not his crew, or his mission, or even his expertise. Lucretia had taken everything but his name.

How could she have? What right did she have to steal everything from the people who had once called her their sister?

And yet it was much too late to hesitate, and Lucretia knew this. She kept as much attention as she could on finding her missing crewmates, her brother and sister lost from time and memory, but the relics were hidden just as well as her missing family members.

It pained her already shattered heart, but she had to put the search for Barry and Lup to the side. She couldn’t let her grief sway her from the path she had set for herself.

*****

There were only two times after that that she let herself regret her actions.

The first was the day she first reunited with her remaining family. They were fine, albeit a little bloodied by their encounter with the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet.

Lup’s Phoenix Fire Gauntlet.

The thought tried to waver Lucretia’s friendly smile, but she couldn’t break character in front of her boys. Instead, she continued her explanation, giving Taako, Magnus, and Merle information that, had Lucretia not taken away, they would have known, and intimately at that.

It was so offhanded; they were joking about their previous adventure, heavy jokes that fit the fact that an entire town had simply disappeared, turned to glass on the surface of Faerûn. Memories of the people now gone.

I wish we could bring Billy Bluejeans back.

It was Barry Bluejeans.

He must have made a real impact on you.

Barry?

They had met Barry?

That shouldn’t have been possible. It just… shouldn’t.

But clearly Taako was very sure of his words.

Was it simply a coincidence? This world was eerily similar to their home world--of course, there were the glaring differences in the sky, but otherwise it was nearly identical--so perhaps there had just been someone with the same name. The same DNA. Merle was close enough to the Rockseeker’s to be related by blood, so perhaps…?

But there was no other Lucretia. No other Taako, or Lup, or Merle or Magnus or Davenport. It was unlikely that there would be another Barry.

Did he somehow survive his fall from the Starblaster all those years ago? Was he doomed to wander aimlessly, the logo on his robe a mess of static and no other memories or connections in this plane?

Or had his body died, and somehow Barry, in his lich form, fabricated an entirely new body? Would that body have retained Barry’s memories like she knew his lich form would?

Lucretia couldn’t afford to let her boys know their offhand comment had shaken her. She kept her smile, and feigned exasperation at their antics that deep down she had missed with every inch of her body.

That day, after the boys had left for their mission, Lucretia triple-checked her lich-proofing. She couldn’t risk anything, even if it meant she’d have one more member of her family by her side once more.

*****

The second time she regretted what she had done, Lucretia’s heart was as heavy as it had been the day she fed Fischer their story.

She had known that Wonderland was more dangerous than anything else she or her family had ever encountered. She had felt firsthand the pains and terrors that that awful place--fueled by the foolishness of her family--wrought. She had trained them for as long as she could, had made sure the Tres Horny Boys--as they called themselves--were ready.

So why had Magnus died? Magnus, of all of them she thought, was the most likely to get out of there intact.

Although he had always been the kind of person to put himself between danger and his friends.

It didn’t matter anymore, though. Magnus was gone, whisked away into the astral plane, along with Lucretia’s hope to one day receive another of his hugs. He had always given amazing hugs.

She sat alone in her office for a moment, resting her weeping face in her hands. They had been so close to being reunited, to being a family again, even if Lucretia doubted they would ever truly trust her again.

In the beginning, Lucretia thought that that was a small price to pay; they would finally be safe from the hunger, free to live actual lives. But now, after so long living without her family by her side, she wasn’t so sure. As it was, Lup was still missing--although Taako had found her umbrella, she had no other leads as to Lup’s whereabouts--and Barry was conspiring against her. The others were already losing what little trust she had managed to build in the years they’ve been together again. They were secretive and wary of her motives and Lucretia knew that even though her goals were coming to fruition, at the rate she was going she wouldn’t have a family to save.

But she had a job to finish, and she couldn’t let the crippling dread that filled her every thought and movement stop her from completing her goals. She had the Animus Bell now, and now she had the Light of Creation on her side. She could finally save the world.

Her heart sank at the thought of a world without Magnus.

But she forced herself to act through the heaviness in her heart and the tears still spilling from her eyes, leaving cold trails down her cheeks. She was almost finished.

[neshabeingchildish]

Happy Pranksgiving

So, this went a little differently once I started typing it out than it was going when it jumped into my mind, but @chenoahchantel told me to share it. So, if it’s bad, she the one who said y’all needed to be subjected to it. It’s corny, but it’s here.

@kiddangers

Charlotte was not looking forward to the holiday season. Well… that wasn't exactly true. She loved the holiday season, but with that meant that her beloved husband and eldest son would be engaged in their favorite year round pastime, but tenfold… pranking for Christmas.

Here's where the problem started… Max loved pranks and was very good at them. At an early age, he determined that he'd teach his kids to be pranksters too. His family was never on board for his habits, so Charlotte supported the goal, but stipulated that they needed to be child level, better yet, age appropriate and comprehension based pranks… SO OF COURSE, they would have a genius kid who could at times go toe to toe with his old man in the pranking world. 

But, it got out of hand. Maximilian, MiniMax, would pull pranks that went totally against Charlotte's stipulation and between the ages of 6 and 9, it was virtually nonstop with her Maxi boys. From the time he was about 6 until now (he's 16) they had prank wars, while the other children shied away from it for fear of being super pranked by their big brother. Little did they know, MiniMax wasn't interested in pranking them. He sought out worthy prey. When he was 9, he scared Charlotte right into labor with twins she had been carrying and almost injured her. 

Max was ready to ban in home pranking. His wife and two of his little ones might have been harmed simply because he let this shared love between himself and his kid go a bit too far. But, Charlotte wouldn't let him ban it completely. That would make two dudes she loved very much very unhappy. What she stipulated this time was that they only pranked each other during the Christmas holidays. And so, a tradition was born.

Each year, they would get more into it. Sometimes MiniMax would induct one or more of 3 of his 4 younger siblings. Sometimes, they were Team Dad. But, they were learning as time went on and had declared at Thanksgiving that the 3 of them planned to enter their own prank into this year's wars. Max was so proud! Charlotte? Terrified. 

The baby had just turned 2 in October. Now, she had a 16 year old who called himself “Prank Savage” vs his adult father “Prank Savant,” and now her 10 year old daughter and 7 year old twins wanted to be involved? Suddenly?

“Are you good to make sure that things don’t get out of hand?” Max wondered. 

Charlotte assessed her surroundings. There was a 2 year old girl on her teet. She had teeth and was being weaned off, but not yet off. But, she could multitask, so she was waving a book around and kept hitting Charlotte upside the head with it while she was helping the twins with a project that looked like it could become unstable at any moment. MiniMax was rushing through the house, gathering things and giving himself a motivational speech and she was receiving an incoming, work related call. “I can’t make any promises,” she said. “Why don’t YOU make sure that things don’t get out of hand?”

“The kids will accuse me of cheating!” He said, wondering how that was not obvious.

So, that was that. She would HAVE to be the person to try to make sure that it didn’t “get out of hand.” If you asked her, these pranks had BEEN out of hand and were, every single year. Last year, MiniMax had set the entire neighborhood’s sprinklers to pour out his own concoction of insta snow whenever Max went to plug in their yard decorations. Everyone’s yard on the block was flooded with this fake snow EXCEPT for theirs and people came over to give Max a piece of their minds about it. 

Max smiled proudly at MiniMax and said, “The pupil surpasses his master.”

“Have I WON Pranksgiving?” MiniMax asked.

“I think I have no choice but to concede this Pranksgiving to you, Son.”

“YES!!!” He cheered.

“What the hell are you people talking about?” The neighbors wondered.

“Oh. And MiniMax? You’re on fix it detail for these people’s stuff.”

“It’s biodegradable. A few days it’ll break down and make your yards look LUSH!” He gave them an OK finger gesture. Then turned to his dad and reminded him, “And as per Pranksgiving earnings, you’re to call me The Maxter.” He patted his father on the chest and moved on with his day.

Max vowed that this year, he would not be calling his own son The Maxter. He was gonna put MiniMax back in his place. But now, other challengers were here. He and MiniMax didn’t usually play fair in this. 

At Midnight, every Black Friday, they both went into beast mode. Pranksgiving was their Christmas. They didn’t even seem to be taking the younger trio seriously and Charlotte was a little bit salty about it, to be perfectly honest.

“What do you kids have in mind for your Pranksgiving?” She wondered. The twins began to speak in their unique twin language, not knowing that she could pick it up sometimes (they’d find out eventually and somehow switch to another secret language. What an adventure that will be for her! But, for right now, they made a decision).

“You hate the pranks, so we know that you aren’t a spy. So, we’ll tell you, BUT, MiniMax is ALWAYS listening for signs or clues to stay ahead of DadMax..” He could just call him Dad… “So,” he glanced around and began to try to use sign language. Charlotte didn’t know a lot of sign language and whenever the twins not only learned it but taught their older sister, she figured out the basics. Nobody was deaf, but  it was a good skill. Their kids often learned things just because they didn’t know them before.

“Okay… That all seems good. I did have a few cracks, but I think I might be able to fill them in. You three need any help with it all?”

“I’m glad that you asked. We seem to be supremely low on the funds for this,” the 10 year old, Phoenix, announced. She smiled brightly, looking just like her dad, but slightly browner and with chubbier cheeks. 

Charlotte said, “Make me a list and I’ll see what I can do.”

The trio did several mini pranks, amateur hour really, and Max and MiniMax would try to cheer for them and tell them that those were all great. The twins would complain in their twin language afterwards and MiniMax would always tell them that whenever he was their age, he wasn’t the Maxter either. “Keep workin’ at it. You’ll come up with something great!” 

Phoenix folded her arms and said, “Don’t condescend them.”

“Condescend to,” he corrected her and booped her on the nose. She turned red, but forced a smile. “Great job, Fearless leader.” He walked off and she was livid.

“Does he think you’re in charge of this prank mission?” Maxavier asked. 

“Surely, he said that in jest, because she’s currently the least intelligent of all of us,” Maxwell said.

Phoenix threw him a look, “He probably said it so that you two could say stuff like that and I could clobber you before we prank them real good!” She stormed off. “Stupid Maxmen!” She went to go see her mom and sister. “Mom… Why wasn’t I named a Max? Did you already know that I wouldn’t be as… great as any of the others?”

“What? You’re awesome. You live with a house FULL of… very unusual boys and basically a crazy man child. Your dad is sweet, but Pranksgiving time is my yearly consideration to quit my wife job,” she joked. Phoenix was sad, though. “Phoenix… We named you after your aunt Phoebe and your dad. He always wanted his first daughter’s name to be hers, but I made him compromise, since he wanted every one of his sons to be a variant of a name that could be shortened to Max. If you want to look at a nonsense name, look no further than MAXAVIER, which I had to haggle him down to from MAXKAVELLI!”

“I’m so surprised that he didn’t try Maxson.”

“He did. I hated it a little more than Maxavier.” She laughed. “You don’t lack greatness, Love. The Maxes are just always trying to prove themselves to their big Max, and well… You’ve always been more independent.”

“Why didn’t you want me to be a Phoebe?”

“Because, there’s already a Phoebe Thunderman and I didn’t want my legacy to be named after her completely. But, Phoenix has Phoe and an X, and the Phoenix is an inspirational creature. That’s why I decorated your nursery the way that I did. You’ll leave your mark on the world, whether or not your brothers realize it.”

“Mom… could you help me with something? I have an idea, but… I don’t know… It’s sneaky and risky. It might hurt the twins, but they think I’m too stupid to give them my ideas.”

“I will support anything that uplifts you, and I’ll handle the boys, too.” Charlotte winked at her. 

.

So it happened. Max was working pretty nonchalantly on his pranking scheme. MiniMax was far more diligent about his. The twins had been “pestering” the two of them with various tricks along the way, and Charlotte was able to speak to the twins about how they made their sister feel with their comments and how to be more accepting of her as sort of a black sheep in the family. (That was one of the ways that Max and Phoenix bonded), but she knew that whatever stories he told of how he didn't fit in with his family for a long time too… It couldn't be like how she felt to be the only person in their home who was… mediocre. 

Even baby sis, Charbonnet, was manifesting powers, so if the baby wasn't a genius, she'd still have more to work with than Nix. At LEAST her dad had that in common with his family as a child. She. Had. Nothing. But his face.

When all was said and done, the twins had been briefed by Charlotte and they didn't think it would work, but one thing was sure..  they'd like to see it.

Max and MiniMax were each in their lairs, ready to execute their pranks. Once a winner was crowned, the family could go back to their holiday celebrations. Max really wanted Charlotte's gingerbread village and family fudge and she wasn't gonna have the peace of mind to make any if they were carrying on… Phoenix came running into his lair, panicked and shaking, "Dad! You have to come out here, QUICK!" 

He rushed out behind her and whenever they got outside, there were picketers and police coming to their house.

"What is happening?" He wondered.

"Maximus Thunderman?" One of the officers said.

"Yes?"

"We have numerous complaints against you and one Maximilian Thunderman for…" She began to read every single prank that he and MiniMax played that affected neighbors or outsiders in some way from like the last five years or so and Max realized that these people were the ones affected. 

"Okay. Okay. Well, I'm sure we can sort it all out…" Max began as Charlotte drove into their driveway with MiniMax and Bonbon in the SUV with her. 

"That's him!" Someone in the crowd said. MiniMax got out and was getting the toddler out of her seat when the crowd got a little rambunctious for the cop. Max got… worried. The twins were cradled closely against their older sis, MiniMax had BonBon in his arms and hesitantly followed Charlotte to where Max was facing the angry mob. 

"Max?" Charlotte said. 

"I've got it, My Everything. Will you take the kids inside?" Max asked.

She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at the younger trio. "Kids?"

"These people are here for MiniMax," the twins said in unison. 

"I'll handle this," Max said, but he looked terrified. Charlotte felt uneasy. This was becoming too much. She loved him. She gave the trio a look, a signaling look as Max tried to speak calmly with the officer about making sure that things won't get out of hand, but that his son was only 16 and while some of his pranks may have been a bother, they were hardly ILLEGAL… 

"Dad…" Phoenix said and pointed at the crowd. 

He looked up at them, ready to defend his family if he had to. But, instead, he saw them tearing away their tops to reveal various red, gold, yellow shirts, all with an image of a phoenix on them and their formation made a red circle with a golden letter "P" in the center. "What's happening?" Max asked, hands still lifted defensively.

"Nix has something to say," Charlotte said.

"Happy Pranksgiving, Dad." 

Max furrowed his eyebrows and the pocket signs were turned around to reveal what looked like a campaign photo of Phoenix, with a funny warlike face and the slogan, "You've just been NIXED." 

MiniMax's lip dropped and he looked at Charlotte. "You helped her?"

"I encouraged her," she corrected. He handed the baby to her and approached Phoenix. She was ready for some kind of declaration that she couldn't have possibly done this without Mom and general negativity,but he smirked, shook his head, very impressed and said, "You may be the Master this year… But now I know to be more careful around you."

"Yeah, but you don't have an entire community willing to help you out because your brother has been so insufferable," she said, smiling. 

He looked at the crowd. "Oh my God, she's right. Her pranks… ANYBODY could be in on them!" He quickly rushed inside to redirect this year's prank for next year, with stipulations applied from this new discovery. 

Charlotte and the twins began to hand out the thank you bags the trio prepared for the crowd and Max finally exhaled. "Nix… I'm so proud of you!" He cheered. She smiled. "I am also terrified. I'm retiring from Pranksgiving. This is between you and your brothers now." He took a deep breath. "I thought those people might harm us," he admitted.

"Well… Mommy said that as long as nobody got hurt, a little fear goes a long way in prank wars. She went into labor once. I think you'll pull through." 

They both laughed and he wrapped an arm around her. "How'd you arrange this?" 

"I went door to door and asked, "Would you like the chance to be a part of something that gets the Maxes back for their holiday shenanigans?" And everyone said yes and made me listen to everything the pranks have done to them. Hours of that for the satisfaction of beating MiniMax was worth it, though. The twins were on logistics. Mom was on 'making sure this doesn't get out of hand,' because I wanted MiniMax in cuffs, but she insisted that would both traumatize a child of color and quite possibly make you seriously injure an officer of the law." She rolled her eyes. "But.. I used my own talents. I used just what I have and I beat you all." She smiled brightly. "I'm not as average as I thought before."

"You never were," he said.

.

Charlotte was grateful to have the pranks settled for another year. Now, she could focus on all the corny stuff that the kids teased her for, but simultaneously lived for. And also some special time with her Santa Baby. "You're amazing, you know that? You saw that Nix was sad about being underestimated and you helped her to gain a victory."

"I swear, all I did was tell the twins that I believed in her idea and tell her to go for it. It was basic parenting. Girl just takes after her dad… at least in the non-scientific ways." She kissed him on the chin. "Makes her so lovable." He smiled. "I DID see myself in her for the first time in a while… when she was venting. I remember being surrounded by boys who didn't seem to notice my value either. And, one of the things I never wanted was to raise sons like that. They could all use a little lesson in seeing her worth." 

"You are so hot when you're an awesome mom to our kids."

"You kidding? You defending this family in the face of an angry mob today almost got us another child."

"Night's still young."

"So is the previous kid!" She laughed and he pulled her close and kissed her. 

"Thank you for putting up with another Pranksgiving."

"It was worth it to see her light up."

[celestial-depths]

Harry Potter has always been much less progressive than its fandom: a retrospective

In June 2020, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling decided to use her platform to devalue trans people by ridiculing a headline with trans-inclusive language and going on to spout hateful nonsense like insisting that recognizing trans women as real women makes the experiences of cis women somehow less valid. I’m not going to repeat her baseless arguments here because I’m not really interested in picking them apart, as more qualified commentators than me have already done that, and doing so would be like throwing rocks at a house of cards anyway. Instead, I want to reflect on the fan reaction to her statements. The response has been overwhelmingly negative, with many fans expressing feelings of disappointment and surprise over her choice to further vilify a group of people who are already marginalized and vulnerable to violence and discrimination. I was disappointed, too, but, sadly, not surprised. Not because this isn’t the first time in recent history when Rowling has aligned herself with TERFs, but because I think her writing and interviews have always suggested that her politics are way more regressive and conservative than what most of her fans may have assumed. Me and Harry Potter go way back. I’m in my thirties now, and I remember reading the first two books at the age of eleven, just before the global Harry Potter hype had really taken off. In fact, I may have been among the last wave of readers who got to start the series without the faintest idea what the books were even about. At the time, I had a habit of reading books without checking out the blurbs first because I enjoyed the feeling of diving into a story and being taken completely by surprise, so I didn’t even know that wizards were involved when I started reading. I couldn’t have been at more perfect an age to discover the books. For pre-teen readers like me, they were the perfect mix of escapism and relatability. It was wild adventures and magic combined with the everyday reality of a school-aged child, which is probably why I felt more connected to it than I did with other fantasy books I also enjoyed, such as The Lord of the Rings. Harry would learn spells and fight dragons in one chapter and worry about homework and making friends in the next one, which was why it was always easier for a kid like me to daydream about going to Hogwarts than it was to imagine fighting orcs in Middle-Earth (sidenote: this is also why I was never a big fan of the HP movies; they kept the exciting highlights but they left out the slice-of-life parts, which instantly made them seem less relatable to me). My generation also got to grow up with the series. I read the first book at 11, and the final one was released when I was 19, so I was always roughly the same age as Harry during my first read of each book. But by the time I read that final chapter, I was no longer as enamored with the series as I used to be – not because I’d grown bored with the series, but because its politics had started to worry me over the years. I didn’t like the story it was telling between the lines, and I certainly didn’t like the note it ended on. I wasn’t really involved in the fandom during my first years of being a fan of the series, but I did step into it around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was released. I was fifteen, I was extremely excited about the release of the first new HP book in three years, and I soon found myself spending hours in fan message boards speculating about future plot twists and discussing my favorite characters. The fandom had its flaws – you don’t know the meaning of the word “petty” unless you’ve witnessed the absolutely brutal fights adult human beings in the HP fandom had over their Hermione Granger shipping preferences – but overall the community was inclusive and open-minded. The fans were a diverse bunch of people who generally seemed to agree that the world of HP was as progressive as they were, since the main message most of them picked up from the books was that one should not discriminate anyone based on the qualities they were born with. I agreed with that reading of the books for a long time, but as I grew up I began to pay closer attention to what the books were actually depicting and what it was leaving out altogether, and I eventually started to wonder whether the series was progressive as it was made out to be. The story was seemingly preaching a message of inclusion, yet all the characters were straight (no, Dumbledore doesn’t count because his sexual orientation was never brought up in the books), cis, and able-bodied, and non-white characters were barely there. What is there to be inclusive about when there’s hardly any real diversity among the very, very vast cast of characters, especially not among the main heroes? Moreover, HP’s way of using non-human characters as metaphors for discrimination yielded very questionable results. The series used house-elves as a metaphor for slavery, yet it ends with the conclusion that the enslavement of house-elves was only wrong when they were treated cruelly, and that they actually preferred slavery to freedom, which was why Hermione was depicted as being silly for fighting for their emancipation. That’s a load of yikes. Werewolves, the series’ metaphor for the HIV positive, were violent, tragic, and uncontrollable, which is... also not great. And don’t even get me started on the books’ take on goblins, who bore extremely uncomfortable resemblance to antisemitic caricatures. The series built a hierarchy between species and used it to address real-life inequality between groups of people, but it never dismantled or even properly questioned that hierarchy, In fact, the biases towards and unequal treatment of other species was ultimately made to seem natural and right. So, there’s that. The books were also littered with awful fatphobia, which doesn’t comply with the anti-discrimination message by any means, and the apparent importance of personal choices and accomplishments got lost by the final two books. For instance, the penultimate book explores Voldemort’s origins and concludes that he was simply born evil, either because he lacked a mother’s love or because he was born from a loveless union (a rape, if we’re being specific, though the books doesn’t recognize it as such, and that’s a whole another can of problematic worms). I don’t even have the time to unpack all the twisted ideas about gender roles that plot point suggests, but my main point here is that it seems like Voldemort never chose to be evil, and apparently neither did his followers, as most of them seem to be villains because they were sorted into Slytherin, or that they were sorted into Slytherin because they were already villainous. At the age of 11. Even the two Slytherins who actively choose to do the right thing in the end (Draco and Snape) do so out of cowardice (Draco) or selfishness (Snape). Meanwhile, as the series progresses Harry’s goodness is less and less predicated by his actions and more based on the virtue of simply being the Chosen One, all the way up to the point where Harry ends up resorting to torture and mind-control – two of the three “unforgivable“ acts as determined by a previous installment in the series – and suffering absolutely no consequences, because he is the hero and nothing the hero does can be bad. The world of Harry Potter, which steers towards being morally ambiguous around the midpoint of the series, ends up being disappointingly black-and-white and deterministic by the end. Choice ends up having very little to do with anything. And then there’s the gender issue, which bothered me most of all. The series exhibits very old-fashioned and restrictive gender roles without ever really questioning them, throws around casual sexism, and it paints a really appalling picture of femininity through its overly sentimental, subservient, frivolous female characters, whose only motivation for doing anything is far too often devotion to a male character or their children, and who are always defeated by their pesky female emotions. Rowling is a self-declared feminist, and I distinctly remember this one writing of hers where she was congratulating herself for championing characters like Hermione Granger over characters like Pansy Parkinson, and that’s her view of feminism I guess? Putting down one female character in favor of another? Pitting women up against each other, urging them to be good girls instead of bad girls – doing all that instead of paying attention to the structural, cultural, ideological reasons why gender expectations and inequality are harmful? Honestly, I don’t think that HP is pro-women at all; the female characters lack agency and are constantly sidelined in favor of male characters, and the series valorizes a very narrow view of womanhood that’s obsessively centered around motherhood and sacrifice.   Overall, the HP series seem to idealize this aesthetically and ideologically old-timey view of society where the world is unrealistically white and straight, and where static hierarchies prevail. The story does not end in a revolution, rebellion, or reform because the story isn’t really about progression; it’s about following traditions and preserving pre-existing power structures. The epilogue of the series really hammers down this point: in the final chapter, the main characters have grown up, married their (white) childhood sweethearts, assumed the roles and biases of their parents and named their kids after their dead relatives, joyfully returning to the origin point of a cycle that brought death and destruction into their world as if there was never anything wrong with that cycle to begin with. So, yeah. I’m not really shocked to see J.K. Rowling expressing awful opinions about trans people because the world of HP was already built upon a whole bunch of awful, traditionalist ideas. As a teen, I’d been read the series through the hopeful lens of my own set of values, but by the time that final book was released, I’d become disillusioned with Rowling and the series, and I no longer took HP for the forward-looking, inclusive story I had made it up to be. I didn’t stop liking certain aspects of the books, but I did stop thinking of Rowling as someone to look up to. For some time, I hoped that Rowling was simply misguided and that she would eventually listen, learn, and rethink. But she keeps proving herself as someone who absolutely refuses to see past her privileged, white, and straight point of view despite all of her resources, and who has inexplicably chosen to crusade against trans women, of all the people in the universe, as if the world wasn’t already hostile enough towards them. So, fuck her. But you know what? The HP fandom doesn’t have to take its cues from J.K. Rowling. The fans don’t have to condone her discriminatory views or agree to read her books in the light of her backward politics. They’ve never done that. From Wolfstar to Black Hermione and from Gay Draco to Trans Snape, the fandom has always been a nurturing environment for fan interpretations that aim to add diversity and complexity to the books, whether Rowling agrees or not. Long live the headcanon. (The fans have also learned to tune out Rowling’s unnecessary comments when they feel like it. Two words: wizard poop. That alone should suggest that the things she says aren’t always worthy of anyone’s attention.)

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Bee!

You have been accepted for the role of MARLENE MCKINNON! I really enjoyed reading your application! I particularly like the way you incorporated the family farm and the winged horses throughout! It’s so important to Marlene’s character where she came from. I am so excited to have you as part of this roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours!Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Bee

AGE: 21

TIMEZONE: EST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I’m a college student, so my activity tends to revolve around my schedule, though I tend to be online at some point every day (unless there’s a big paper to write or a project or a test or something the next day, in which case maybe not… but still probably because I am a disaster). If I had to give it a number? 7.5, 8.

ANYTHING ELSE: HELLO AGAIN

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Marlene Elspeth McKinnon

AGE: 24

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis Female, She/Her… as for sexuality, Marlene really couldn’t give a shit less what people decided to call what her sexuality is. Love happens, life happens, and she isn’t going to limit the possibilities by slapping a label on herself. That, and she’s not exactly certain how her parents would react to their only daughter being anything BUT straight, and she isn’t in a rush to find out. But if I, the writer of this app, had to label Marlene’s sexuality, she’d be pansexual.

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Ravenclaw

ANY CHANGES: Nope.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Marlene was raised with expectations, and those expectations molded her personality in more ways than she’d care to admit.

What was expected of her as a kid was that she was to be a good little witch. That she took care of the winged horses and didn’t pull out their feathers. That she didn’t steal her older brother’s toy broom and fly it around the house like she was a seeker for the Holyhead Harpies. That she knew how to say please and thank you, and how to read all the old, beautiful, dusty books that lined the shelves in their library. That she knew what Hogwarts is, and knew what house she would inevitably get sorted into- because what was a McKinnon if not a Ravenclaw, if not being the most clever person in the room. There were rules, there were standards, there were shouldn’t’s and should’s- and Marlene simply took them all. She didn’t question it- she just was the daughter that Maeve and Malcolm McKinnon needed. She had always been a perfect little witch growing up, her dresses and cloaks in the latest fashions, her wild curls always tamed- picture perfect. That is the Marlene that her parents knew and wanted, the one that would make her grandparents proud. Perfect… and they would have expected nothing less.

They didn’t know, nor would they likely want to know (at least, in Marlene’s mind), the wildfire that roared just beneath the surface. The fire that they thought they’d put out when it had been nothing but a little spark. Friends know that Marlene leads with her heart first. You know exactly where she stands on everything because she wears her heart on her sleeve. She lives in a world where she’s genuine with those she cares about, and therefore expects that everyone is being genuine with her. She hates secrets and lies (which can bother her, especially when it comes to Order things, but that’s a whole other story…). Because she’s so set in her own mind- that what she has to say is important, is right, is good, and should be listened to, it makes other views very hard to swallow. Having someone tell her she’s wrong can send her reeling.

She’s used to being the one who knows what to do. She’s used to being the one who knows all the answers to every stupid question you could possibly ask her- not that there were any stupid questions out there, just more obvious and less obvious. She’s the smart one, the one who knows what she’s doing… right? But there’s always that seed of self doubt. The one that tells her that she’s just faking it, that she’s not good enough for what her family wants of her. She’s not the perfect daughter. No, she’s just very good at pretending. Because, if she were perfect, someone would be listening to her.

There’s a piece of Marlene that feels rather lost, more like she’s screaming into the void than anything else. Like, somehow, in all of her doing what was expected of her, she became invisible. She wants to be heard for once in her life. Rather than holding a hand over her mouth and swallowing words because of expectations. Her opinion should matter, but it doesn’t- she’s in this war too, and she’s fighting for the right side. But how come she feels like she’s somehow the enemy in all this, and why does that make her feel so guilty?

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

The McKinnons were pureblood, yes, but they weren’t old blood. There’s a difference- if you come from old blood families, you know. No, Caelan and Maeve (Marlene’s grandparents) made an investment in the flying horse ranching business, raising the finest winged equines in England, if not all of Europe. But really, what would you expect from two Ravenclaws who graduated at the top of their class. Their business became their son’s business, and after their son, their grandchildren. As it was supposed to be. As the generations would pass on, the McKinnon name would gain respect. It would prosper, with many witches and wizards filling up the family tree. But that didn’t exactly change the fact that in the eyes of the Sacred 28, the McKinnons were nothing more than New Money.

And so, as these things go in the pureblood world, Holly Shafiq and Malcolm McKinnon met at some high society function, as they were supposed to, and got married, as they were supposed to, and a whole lot of ‘supposed to’s later, Marlene came into the mix. The last ‘supposed to’, the youngest of the mix. Her mother fawned all over the little Marlene- her darling baby of the bunch- while her father always seemed a bit too busy with the winged horse business, though he did read her Tales of Beedle the Bard every night.

She was a curious and wild little girl- not exactly what her mother had expected when she envisioned her ‘darling baby’ growing up. The vision in frills and bows with perfect little curls did not last long when Marlene was about four or five. She’d sneak off when she was supposed to be taking a nap and go on epic, self made adventures. She’d go romping in mud puddles with her older siblings, she’d go visit the flying horses in their stable and kiss their big fuzzy noses and stay sitting their until someone found her and dragged her off. There was an insatiable curiosity that ran in the little girls veins. She wanted to know why brooms flew. She wanted to know the name of every single flying horse in the stable (and if they didn’t have names, could she name them?). She wanted to know what a Hogwarts was, how floo powder worked- anything and everything was a question that needed answering.

The one who really encouraged this sort of ‘question everything’ mentality was her grandfather. A pureblood who had built his own fortune from the ground up, he didn’t believe in the frills and fanciness of high society that his wife, son, and daughter-in-law were so desperate to be a part of. Why be a part of something that wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with him when he had been a poor young man with aspirations? He was the one to really teach Marlene the ways of the world- the difference between good and bad, the need to question everything, the need to be set in one’s beliefs. Caelan McKinnon was such an important figure in his granddaughter’s life, she felt she was closer to him than her actual father. He passed away before Marlene joined the Order, but she’d like to think that if he’d still been around, he would have ruffled her hair and given her a kiss on the forehead as he’d always done when he was proud of her.

Her relationship with her siblings has always been very close. As she was the youngest, they were always a little protective of her. They taught her the important things. Like how to ride a broomstick or a winged horse. Which quidditch players were the best. How not to get a disgusting flavor of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. Where the best hiding places were on the ranch. Which flying horses were the friendliest and which would try and kick you if you got too close. When they were young, they were all practically inseparable. But time, as well as sticky situations, pull people apart. Some of her siblings don’t exactly appreciate the fact that their family’s estate has all but been filled with strangers. This puts a bit of a strain on their relationships.

OCCUPATION:

Technically speaking, the ranch is her occupation. She helps take care of the winged horses, helps with finding good owners for her winged friends, helps clean out their stalls… anything that the family business might need help with, she does. She doesn’t exactly get paid for it though- she has access to the family bank account, and money has never really been a problem in Marlene’s family. There’s always been enough for whatever she wanted or needed, and her mother made it a habit of making sure her children had literally everything they ever wanted, ever. This has put a bit of a disconnect on actual jobs for Marlene, as she’s only ever known a world where she could take a day off no questions asked, and she had everything she needed.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

The Order was Marlene’s opportunity to work with the good guys. Yes, it was under the law, which sometimes ruffled her parent’s feathers (after all, their daughter working with a bunch of radicals wasn’t necessarily the safest thing for her or for their family). But they didn’t disagree with her motives. Voldemort and his pure-blooded societal fantasies were wrong. Magic was magic. Killing and hating people for who they’re related to was something that needed to be stopped. Yes, the McKinnons were purebloods, but they weren’t those sort of purebloods. Her siblings were a little bit more in line with where Marlene stood- fighting back to protect the innocent was a lot better than doing nothing. Her parents were less actively involved, offering Marlene whatever she might need. Eventually, what she needed became their estate to hide targets of the Death Eaters.

The Dissendium Task Force offered her a place to help protect people who really needed it, whilst working with some of her closest friends. She’d been so excited to work with Lily and Remus, Emmeline- they all were so dedicated to fighting back by helping those who needed protection and hiding. Everything started with the best intentions. But the number of targets began to increase the longer and worse the war became, and Lily’s motivation became less of helping targets- the people who really, truly needed to escape, lest they be killed- and more of helping muggleborns. It drove her crazy. She felt bad about it, sure, but she couldn’t house every muggleborn in the whole of Britain and expect that Voldemort and the Death Eaters wouldn’t catch on and come and kill them all. It wasn’t logical. It was putting her, her family, and every single one of the poor people who were hiding at the McKinnon Estate at a ridiculous amount of risk. Not to mention the werewolf population living in the woods off the estate. The worry from the whole situation was enough to make Marlene sick. If they got caught by Death Eaters, they were dead. By the Order, they’d likely be thrown into Azkaban. And the more people she was asked to hide, the more likely it was that the whole operation could blow up in their faces.

SURVIVAL:

This is something Marlene is growing increasingly worried about. At the start of the Dissendium Task Force, she felt relatively safe. Sure, it was risky to smuggle Death Eater targets out of the country for their own safety. But hiding one or two people at a time was a MUCH different situation from hiding several people, not all of whom are targets, plus werewolves, all on her family estate. It’s almost like holding a giant, flashing sign that reads ‘We’re here! Come kill us!’. She’s survived by being stealthy and by being a pureblood- no one’s going to expect the new money pureblood family of jeopardizing their social position. But she’s sure that it’s suspicious to the pureblood families who were donning the eerie masks of the Death Eaters as to why the McKinnons hadn’t joined their ranks yet. She wonders if she’ll even survive the year at the rate the Task Force is going. She keeps looking over her shoulder and wondering when the day is going to come where she’s the next name rattled off on a Missing or Dead list.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Once upon a time, Marlene had seen Lily Evans as the little sister she’d wanted but hadn’t gotten. She’d grown fond of the younger Gryffindor through her time at Hogwarts, and had thought the world of her. When the Dissendium Task Force was started, she was thrilled to be working so closely with someone she cared about so much. And at first, things were great. They worked so well together, and both believed so strongly in taking targets, making them feel safe and secure, and getting them to safety. It was important- not everyone could fight to protect themselves in the war. But as the war has gotten worse and the Death Eaters get more power, Lily has seemed to veer off in a new direction: save every single muggleborn in Britain, regardless of the consequences. Marlene has tried speaking up, talking reason on how trying to save people who weren’t targets along with actual targets put everyone at risk. But no one seems interested in listening to Marlene, even though it’s about their safety. It’s her home, and it feels like her opinion on the safety of the people inside of it (stranger, friend, or family) means absolutely in the eyes of someone she once called one of her best friends.

Poor Remus has ended up hearing the brunt of her screams into the void and grumbles over the whole situation. She’s grateful that he’s on the task force- he knows how to talk to werewolves, and he knows how to deal with Lily when Marlene just can’t. He’s also great at dealing with the half-breed population, and always seems to know just what to say to them. He’s made her life a little bit easier in these strained times. A piece of her feels bad that the half-breeds need to live out in the woods, but a bigger piece of her knows that it is way too much of a risk to have a bunch of werewolves in the house. Besides, her parents wouldn’t dream of having those sort of ‘people’ in the house.

The only person who really seems to be listening to Marlene is Emmeline, and Marlene is definitely listening and watching Emmeline. The witch deserves more credit where credit is due. She’s more than just a healer, which is unfortunately what she’s being treated like. She’s intelligent, she’s talented, she listens to others. Marlene doesn’t feel invisible when Emmeline is around because she knows that Emmeline actually cares about what Marlene has to say about the task force.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS:

I will always ship chemistry. There’s no real anti-ship here. Where there is chemistry, there is the possibility for amazing threads. THIS GOES FOR RELATIONSHIPS OF THE PLATONIC AND ROMANTIC KIND.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Marlene lives in a world of privilege. She grew up in a pureblood household where she’s wanted for nothing. She doesn’t know a world where people look down on you- not really. She’s experienced people looking down on her for being new money. She’s only ever gotten a glimpse of what it feels like to be in a muggleborn’s shoes, and that was in the muggle world. In the muggle world, she’s a woman of color, and she’s not exactly ‘straight’, so she’s discriminated against. It put knots in her stomach the first time she experienced it, and she wasn’t exactly sure why until she realized that that was what it must be like for Lily and other muggleborns in the wizarding world.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?  

You’re group looks absolutely amazing, also, you’re amazing (thank you for talking to me and letting me reapply <3) I really want to write, and this group reminds me so much of old tumblr rpgs, which I miss terribly, so I’m really excited for this!

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

Marlene finding out about Remus being a werewolf is a possibility? Losing a muggleborn or a target the task force was supposed to be protecting? Something happening to one of Marlene’s siblings (also, I’d love to have some actual Marlene siblings if that was okay? IDK if that would be a possibility, but if it is, that’d be cool.

ANYTHING ELSE? DOBBY’S SOCK!  … Have a nice day lovely admin.

[askaceattorney]

Dear jnv11,

Only one word comes to mind in that scenario:

Poor Simon would hit a new record for the number of times he shouted that word in a single trial, and Ms. Oldbag might actually run out of breath before she’s done complaining.

Dear jnv11,

You kidding? The woman’s tough, but she’d have a heart attack in no more than five minutes. It’s been a decade since we’ve seen ’er, plus young samurai prosecutor who was suspected of killing his teacher?

Dear anon,

I think what we’ll actually do is stop answering letters that involve real-world politicians altogether, or at least ones that defame them.  Just to be clear, the answers I came up with don’t reflect my actual opinion on Donald Trump.

Apologies to anyone who was hit the wrong way by those letters.  Make no mistake, I was very uncertain about whether or not I should even bother answering them, but the “answer everything you can” part of my mind eventually won over the “avoid political topics” part.  It was all in the spirit of comedy, but, as I should’ve expected, it became more hateful than funny, so I’d say I’ve learned my lesson now.

(Previous Letter)

Dear Ethan Starbright,

..................................................Pff...

PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Okay, I’m not sure why, but the utter randomness of that fact cracked me up for some reason.  Thanks for that.

Dear Ethan Starbright,

.............

.....I don’t get it.

(Previous Letter)

Dear 55,

Glad to hear it!  The Ace Attorney series is good at revealing the plot at just the right pace to keep you guessing about who the culprit is and/or what the motive for their crime was, but it’s just as entertaining to see Phoenix and company find the truth for themselves, even if you already happen to know some of it yourself.

Plot-wise, my favorite game was Trials and Tribulations, mostly because of how cleverly it jumped from one timeline (and main character) to another.  Throughout the game, we get to learn more about the events of the past and how they relate to the present day situation -- Mia’s first encounter with Phoenix, Godot’s true identity and history, how Winston Payne lost his hair, and so on, and every tiny bit of it makes the game more intriguing.  My favorite part was Iris’s confession about what she did for Phoenix near the end.  I’d love to see Hollywood try and come up with anything as beautifully touching as that.

It’s been a little while since I listened to the soundtracks from any of the trilogy games, but I think my favorite one comes from the first game, since it’s the most memorable for me.  I sure didn’t expect to hear those kind of fast and engaging tunes in a game about a lawyer, did you?  The other soundtracks are great too, of course, but the songs from the first game (especially the cross-examination theme) are the most fun for me to remember.

Dear Anonymous,

That’s actually happened a few times before.  I remember one letter were Maya claimed she’d never been out of the country even though PLvsAA is canon in this blog, and there was another where Apollo sounded skeptical about spirit channeling, even though he’d been born in the land of spirit mediums.  Chances are we’ll have to delete letters that point out contradictions like that, but we’ll try our best to answer them if possible.  There’s no way to tell what Capcom will come up with next, but that won’t stop us from making guesses about it in the meantime.

Dear Anonymous,

If something changes in the canon that isn’t reflected in a previous letter, it’s not important. Previous means not in the moment. Not in the moment means no one will notice unless they go far back enough. And if they comment on stuff that happened a while ago, they... no offence, kinda need a hobby.

Dear Professor Oak,

Yes.

Dear Professor Oak,

No.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Lachtigall,

Sorry to hear that, but hey, at least they picked a different character for the idea, so your letter will still get an answer.  We both answer whatever letters we find regardless of which character they’re written to, but in answer to your question about who answered that letter...

Just kidding, it was me.

Dear guquis,

That should be fine if you’re willing to wait that long.  Just make sure to indicate that in your letter.

Dear guquis,

if you want your letter to be on a specific date, specify it somehow. And also specify if you want that info blurred so it’s not obvious. It’ll be easier for us that way.

(Previous Letter)

Dear Ender,

It wasn’t intended to look scary in any way, but whatever floats your boat.  I thought she looked kind of cute like that, actually.

Dear Ender,

Trust me, neither of them are contenders in the scary contest anymore. Have you ever met Robert? THAT, sir, is scary.

Dear SC,

ComEVENo, huh?  That almost sounds like a Native American name.

I’ve finally finished watching Hotel Dusk, but I’ll save my reaction to it for last so I can go into full detail under the cut.  That’s how much I enjoyed it.

My favorite cross-examination theme is from AJ, believe it or not.  I love how it starts out slow and mysterious, then picks up speed and volume when Apollo’s about to discover a big truth.  It’s also nice how the melody begins on the offbeat.  It almost makes me want to dance to it.

I hadn’t thought much about which cross-examination I like best, but I’d probably go with the final confrontation with Furio Tigre.  While bluffing is nothing new for Phoenix, it was fun watching him use the supposedly useless evidence that Gumshoe gave him to give his doppelganger a taste of his own medicine.  It was one of those moments where I had no idea what his strategy was until Furio opened his huge mouth.  After that, it became an “Ooooooh...” kind of moment.

I’d love to see that case ranking you’ve made.  Every case has its ups and downs, but it’s fun to explore just what it is about each one that makes it memorable and...odd.  Let’s be honest, they all have at least a tiny bit of oddness added in somewhere, am I right?

-Modthorne and Co-Mod

(Hotel Dusk spoilers below)

Oh, man..........oh, MAN!!

Seriously, I can’t remember the last time a game’s story left me this satisfied from beginning to end.  To be fair, I just watched a playthrough of it on YouTube, so I might have avoided some potential frustration by not playing it myself, but man...  I can tell the developers put some serious heart into that game.  The music was delightful, the characters were all very charming, the art and animation style were done in a clever way, and the plot...  Man, oh, man.

First of all, there’s the setup: Kyle’s goal in visiting Hotel Dusk (aside from getting a delivery) is established from the very beginning -- finding his former police partner and figuring out why he turned rogue and forced him to nearly kill him.  Oddly enough, he has no real proof that visiting the hotel will lead him any closer to finding him -- all he has is a hunch.

Then there’s the way he goes about gathering information.  Even as a retired cop, his detective instincts are still keen, and by snooping around the hotel (with some help from his “old buddy” Louis), solving a few puzzles, and asking the right people the right questions, he not only gains tidbits of information about Bradley, but also learns the secrets of the hotel’s residents, and how they and their stories are interconnected.  And boy, did some of those connections surprise me.

But here’s what I loved most about the gameplay (and the entire game) -- in order to get the information he needs out of people, he first has to break them down to the point where they not only can’t hide the truth, but they realize how useless it is to keep lying to themselves.  In fact, Kyle said it perfectly himself during one of these confrontations:

Whether it’s pressuring a pretend author to admit to his plagiarism, telling the spoiled son of a lawyer how dangerous his revenge scheme is, or convincing a drunk father to appreciate what he still has -- namely, his daughter -- Kyle just won’t put up with lies, even if he has to sound like the rudest person on Earth to dispel every last one of them...and he doesn’t even need the help of a Magatama!

Like every game, of course, this one isn’t without its faults -- the interactive parts are short, there’s very little challenge in picking the right dialogue options (usually just whichever is less annoying), and the language, while not terrible, could’ve been left out -- but the charm of the story and its characters more than makes up for it.  Speaking of the story, it seems I was a little off on most of the predictions I made, but at least I was right about Melissa.  She didn’t disappoint at being adorable one bit.

Oh, and one more thing -- if anyone reading this feels like playing or watching this game, which I highly recommend, be prepared for your jaw to drop at the very end.  It’s that incredible.

And with that, my gushing about this game is over.  Thank you for suggesting it, SC!

[azuresquirrel]

OKAY FOLKS, MY INTITIAL HOT TAKES ™ ON STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI, BEFORE I EXPOSE MYSELF TO ANY OF THE DISCUSSION OR DISCOURSE. UNLESS IT IS NOT CLEAR, THIS POST IS SPOILER-TASTIC.

Alrighty, before we get to the meat of the thing let me give ENTIRELY too many disclaimers:

-I would not consider myself a Star Wars Expert. I’d say I’m a fan and about a half-step up from the standard casual moviegoer. I love the movies, the original trilogy was a big deal in my childhood. I have encountered the EU in small bits – a novel here and there, an episode of a cartoon here and there. But I am decidedly not a person who is Keeping Up with the billions of Star Wars media out there so I want it clear that’s the perspective I’m coming from.

-Also my Overall Take on the movie is generally positive and I also think I will enjoy it more on a second viewing, whenever that may be. But I did go into it, given the non-spoilery rumblings I’d heard to either Love It or Hate It. I’d say neither is the case. I Liked it, which really is something of a disappointment, but perhaps that second viewing would move it up. Also I will likely be more detailed on the stuff I had problems with than the stuff I liked, but the stuff I liked did outweight the stuff I had issues with.

-As to “where” I would rank this movie in my personal rankings . . . bros, I don’t know. I have immense childhood built-in bias to Episodes IV – VI. Better than the prequels, OBVIOUSLY (which let’s be real, the prequels had SOME good stuff in the them but it sure is a lot of bullshit to wade through). I never really gave my Official Take on Rogue One because IT WAS THE DAY THAT CARRIE FISHER PASSED, and I honestly think it will take me a while to be ABLE to watch it again because I associate it so strongly with her passing. But here’s my Take anyway: it had good concepts and a goddamn killer third act, but the first two acts were a goddamn SLOG and I just could not find Jyn an investing protagonist for all that I tried. I’d rank The Last Jedi over Rogue One – I had a similar “when are we going to get to the fireworks factory” deal with it, but still the stalling period was more enjoyable in The Last Jedi than in Rogue One. And it falls short to The Force Awakens to me. The Force Awakens felt more focused, and it had more of what I personally was looking for – that “SHIT YEAH I’M WATCHING STAR WARS” feeling. The Last Jedi got there EVENTUALLY but it got there really really late. I pretty much enjoyed The Force Awakens the whole way through whereas I was feeling a good deal of FRUSTRATION a ways into The Last Jedi.

So, let’s get to specifics:

-Well, I mean I think it’s clear why I think a second viewing will improve my opinion on the film. I spent a LOT of it WAITING and FRUSTRATED and thinking “WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET TO THE FIREWORKS FACTORY/THE POINT.” I had Concerns about things, not knowing where they were going (AND I THINK VALIDLY SO AT THE TIME), so since it largely ended up in places that I LIKED maybe I’ll be able to enjoy the waiting period a lot more in the future.

-Look, I know that Star Wars movies are Events and are never short but fucking, this movie was still TOO LONG. Felt the same about Rogue One (but less so here), didn’t feel that way about The Force Awakens.

-Well let’s see, in my mind there were basically four plots in this movie – Rey and Luke, Finn and Rose, Poe and the Rebels, and Kyle Ron Bullshit (I suppose some would argue that Kyle Ron bullshit was pretty much a part of the Rey and Luke plot. Technically, they are probably correct. IN MY NON-TECHNICAL MIND, IT IS A SEPARATE THING GIVEN I THOUGHT “OH THIS SHIT AGAIN” WHENEVER HE CAME ONSCREEN). The overall: Finn and Rose was GREAT THROUGHOUT, THE MOST MOVIE-ISH OF THEM AND THE MOST ENJOYABLE AND I LOVE THEM AND ALSO BB8. Rey and Luke I ALSO LIKED A WHOLE, WHOLE LOT, THOUGH I IMAGINE THERE MAY BE ~CONTROVERSY~ THERE. However I also felt a good deal of Frustration and Concern thanks to all the Kyle Ron Bullshit inserted there. Poe and the Rebels . . . . . oooooooooooooof. Yeah. That was a thing.

-On a more shallow note: one thing that was uniformly good throughout was all the NEW STAR WARS CREATURES. Icicle-foxes on mineral planet (and actually being of MINOR PLOT IMPORTANCE), stupidly adorable giant rabbit-horses, JUDGEMENTAL FISH NUNS, and the godawfully adorable merchandise mandate of the porgs. We didn’t get that much in the way of exciting new Star Wars planets/worlds, but the creatures made up for it.

-Okay I don’t count it as new because we saw it at the end of The Force Awakens, but I was extremely appreciative of Ireland: Luke’s picturesque Cranky Jedi Exile Planet. THE SOUTHWEST COAST OF IRELAND, LAND OF MY ANCESTORS, IS BEAUTIFUL.

-I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT LUKE SKYWALKER: MY DEAD GAY DAD/SON (courtesy of spaceoperetta, that joke). I just . . . loved . . . my heart . . . .

-OLD CRANKY LUKE HAVING RETIRED TO HIS ANGRY GAY PICTURESQUE EXILE PLANET BECAUSE HE HAD THE HUBRIS ™ AND FAILED ™. JUST. RELATABLE.

-REY JUST FUCKING FOLLOWING HIM FOR ALL HIS CRANKY EXILE DAYS, BEING JUST A FUCKING STUBBORN.

-All the stuff Luke had to say about The Force and why the Jedi were crap was just . . . GOOD. I APPROVE.

-And Force Ghost Yoda ends up burning the damn tree anyway, what a troll.

-. . . why do I have the feeling that Luke in The Last Jedi is going to become my new AA4 Phoenix? I just have a HUNCH. YES HE MADE SOME BAD CHOICES ™ AND IS OLD AND BITTER BUT. I GET IT. FOLKS, I GET IT.

-And the whole END when he ASTRAL-PROJECTS AWESOMENESS ONTO MINERAL PLANET. BEING AWESOME AND OLD AND SASSY. PULLING SOME STRAIGHT-UP AIRBENDER MOVES ON KYLE RON.

-I was keeping the tears back throughout the movie but the Leia and Luke scene BROKE ME.

-And then he dies (as I expected), looking out at the double sunset just like in A New Hope fucking forty years ago. I CRIED SOME MORE.

-I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT LUKE SKYWALKER.

-Okay REY. Somehow felt like there was . . . less of Rey in this film than in TFA? Like probably actually not but it felt like she got to do more STUFF in TFA. And the CONCERNS did not help. BUT YES, REY WITH A LIGHTSABER, REY PILOTING THE FALCON, REY MOVING SOME FUCKING ROCKS. REY!!!!!!

-Also can the third movie NOT go back on the conclusion that we came to re: Rey’s parentage from this film? Her “coming from nothing” having just regular-ass junker parents, she DOESN’T have that ~special Skywalker blood~. PLEASE. PLEASE DON’T GO BACK ON IT, SERIES. BECAUSE I LIKE IT. She “doesn’t have a place in this story” in the Multigenerational Skywalker Family Drama. BUT SHE IS REY!!! SHE IS HERSELF AND CAN BE GREAT ANYWAY!!!! THE FORCE IS NOT “A POWER TO MOVE ROCKS” AND IT’S NOT MIDICHOLIRAN BULLSHIT, IT ISI WITHIN HER AS IT IS EVERYTHING! THAT STRENGTH COMES FROM HERSELF DAMMIT.

-(okay bad joke time, you all know I was totally thinking “YES REY, FIND YOUR GAY DESTINY IN THE GIANT SEAWEED VAGINA” re: the Empire Strikes Back ripoff cave that only shows you your own face).

-Before I get to The Issues – FINN AND ROSE WERE GREAT AND I LOVE THEM!!!! I AM GLAD THAT ROSE ARTICULATED THE REBELLION SO WELL!!!! THEY WORKED GREAT TOGETHER!!!! FINN CONTINUES TO BE A JOY!!!! BOTH OF THEM ARE THE HOPE OF THIS REBELLION!!!!

-AND SHE SAVED HIM AND I HAD THE EMOTIONS. AND I WORRIED SHE DIED BUT THANK GOD SHE DID NOT. AND THAT KISS WITH THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND! FIGHTING FOR THE THINGS WE LOVE! EMOTIONS!

-ALSO SHOUTOUT TO FINN FOR HAVING MY REAL FIRST “SHIT YEAH I’M WATCHING STAR WARS” MOMENT WHEN HE GOES AT CAPTAIN PHASMA IN THE FUCKING BURNING DOWN SHIP. THAT WAS GOOD SHIT!!!!

-ALSO FINN RALLYING EVERYONE IN MINERAL PLANET BASE WITH HIS HOPE – YOU ARE THE TRUE FUTURE OF THE REBELLION!!!

-(okay but for the next movie can we have more than like two minutes of Maz Kanata? PLEASE?)

-Okay so circling back to Rey because of KYLE RON BULLSHIT. You can probably tell what my Concerns were. Like . . . I mean geez, I want to root for that hopefulness but CHRIST, COME ON HERE.

-I was happy that it turned out that their stupid ~connection~ was forged by Snoke, who is unimportant anyway and dies, that was frankly a bit of a relief.

-OKAY, BASICALLY I HAD WORRIES ABOUT THE SHIP I DARE NOT NAME, BUT LUCKILY REY IS GOOD AND KYLE RON CONTINUED TO BE AS HE IS, AS I EXPECTED. But can you blame me for the CONCERNS about their ~omg special Force connection~?

-But . . . . honestly it IS a problem with this new trilogy that I don’t care about Kyle Ron. So much of these movies are hanging on the fact that we have some investment in his decisions and his fate and I . . . don’t. Like when Leia was reaching out to him with The Force I should have Felt Something and I did not. I perhaps should have been slightly less “eh, can you really blame him” at the reveal that Luke did indeed for a moment consider offing him.  He is so important to so many of the characters but I just . . . . they’re trying to make him into a Zuko but he ISN’T. HE’S JUST SHITTY. I DON’T CARE ABOUT HIS SUPPOSED ~CONFLICT~. AND HONESTLY THAT’S A PROBLEM. HE *SHOULD* BE A COMPELLING VILLAIN THAT YOU FEEL CONFLICTED ABOUT. YOU SHOULD *WANT* HIM TO BE REDEEMED LIKE HOW YOU WANTED LUKE TO SUCCEED IN REACHING VADER LIKE IN RETURN OF THE JEDI. BUT I JUST. DON’T. CARE. HE’S JUST A SHITTY WHINY SPOILED MANBABY.

-So like on the one hand I was happy that SNoke and his stylish gold robe essentially ended up being UNIMPORTANT. He dies and it made little difference. Because I didn’t really care!

- . . . but then again, isn’t that similar to the Kyle Ron problem? Because like . . . if the whole dealio of this plot, that Kyle Ron was corrupted to the Dark Side and Sith Ways thanks to his Andy Serkis CGI fucker, then SHOULDN’T it matter a bit? WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHERE DID HE COME FROM? WHAT IS HIS MOTIVATION BESIDES “EVIL?” WHERE DID THIS SITH FUCKER POP UP FROM AFTER PALPITINE WAS OFFED? Like . . . I don’t personally care but for the story itself it SHOULD matter. Instead it’s just “and then Kyle Ron became Dark Side because The Evil Guy said so.” If you want something actually compelling you need to fucking put MORE into it.

-So then the part where we needed to care about the tracked and almost out of fuel Rebel Forces. One would think I would given that Leia was there (for like five minutes and also SHE USED THE FORCE TO SAVE HERSELF AND I HAD THE EMOTIONS) But. Well.

-Oh, and pausing to point out that Star Wars is getting BETTER with women as it has more women onscreen than ever but like – I was concerned about Rose dying with ALL THE DYING ASIAN WOMEN ONSCREEN. Yes the bomber ended up being her sister and important and it was a badass scene but like – could we not have killed her off IMMEDIATELY? Also was that Jasika (I’m not sure) who got unceremoniously blown up in her X-Wing? I’m just saying, STAR WARS STILL HAS SOME WAYS TO GO EVEN WITH REY AND ROSE.

-Also movie thank you for ultimately validating Purple-Haired Laura Dern as a good leader and a badass but I somehow doubt that will be the takeaway that most people have.

-BECAUSE I GUESS DREAMY POE DAMERON OF THE FORCE AWAKENS IS GONE AND REPLACED WITH A HOTHEADED CLONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH WOMEN IN AUTHORITY OR SOMETHING.

-Like . . . why was it necessary . . . for this plot . . . for Poe to talk over and mansplain to and disobey orders from his fucking commanding officers who all just happen to be women.

-And I guess we’re not supposed to find him a rank hypocrite at the end when Finn disobeyed his orders to pull off from the Death Star But a Battering Ram (???) even though THAT’S WHAT POE’S BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE.

-Like god cutting back to those ships every time was TIRESOME and frankly I’m glad I did not have a ton of investment in Poe as a character before this or else I’d be RIGHT PISSED instead of just annoyed that the movie turned this character into a sexist and pretty much did not do ENOUGH to refute his ways. STILL ANNOYED THOUGH.

-Also is there any problem that the Empire/The First Order has encountered that they didn’t go “throw a Death Star” at it? I think a barked a laugh when they were like “IT’S MINIATURE DEATH STAR TECH.”

-Other disappointments – I THOUGHT KYLE RON WOULD STRAIGHT UP MURDER HUX AT LIKE TOO POINTS AND HE DIDN’T. I would’ve at least appreciated that ginger asshole getting murdered (especially when he slapped Finn I thought “M U R D E R”), but NOPE, KYLE RON MUST BE A DISAPPOINTMET IN ALL THINGS.

-THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE LEIA!!!!! AND NOW WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH THE NEXT MOVIE!!!!! BECAUSE CARRIE!!!!! I AM VERY UPSET!!!!!!!

-Oh Christ, this is so long and I’m kind of trailing off into shitpost territory, SO IF I HAVE MORE SHITPOSTY THOUGHTS I WILL HAVE THEM LATER.

-So good movie but I had FRUSTRATIONS.

-In conclusion: I LOVE LUKE SKYWALKER, MY DEAD GAY DAD/SON.

[centerofstupidity]

Twilight Chapter 1 Snark

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Interested in reading previous Twilight chapter snarks? They can be found here.

Chapter Summary: Bella shows that she is a shallow, gold-digging bitch. And she meets Edward Cullen, douchebag extraordinaire. 

In the event that this gets flagged, here is another place to read the chapter snark.

Chapter 1 is titled “First Sight.” Which means that Bella will meet sparkledouche.

Bella’s mom is driving Bella to the airport. Personally, I would have killed Bella and dumped her body in the middle of the desert.

It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue.

Despite what Meyer wants us to think, Arizona is not the Garden of Eden. It is hot and dry.

I don’t get why Bella is so fond of Arizona even though she never goes out in the sun.

I was wearing my favorite shirt — sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.

I’m not sure why Meyer feels the need to tell us this. And items of clothing that you wear do not count as a “carry-on item.”

So Bella is going to live in a rainy town called Forks.

It was from this town and it’s gloomy, omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old. It was in this town that I’d been compelled to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen. That was the year I finally put my foot down; these past three summers, my dad, Charlie, vacationed with me in California for two weeks instead.

We have our first sign that Bella is a selfish bitch.

I will bring this up whenever someone claims that Bella is an unselfish person.

Bella does not care that her mother LEFT her father because it keeps her from living somewhere she doesn’t like.

Bella’s father experienced the end of his marriage, the loss of the woman he loved AND never seeing his only child for many years.

But Bella doesn’t  give a fuck because she isn’t only thinking about HERSELF.

And to add the cherry on top of the shit sundae, she doesn’t care if the time spent seeing her father is shorted to “two weeks”… as long as it is on her terms.

It was to Forks that I now exiled myself— an action that I took with great horror. I detested Forks.

You might be wondering why Bella is going to be living in Forks full-time. After all, Bella has bitched about how Forks is the third circle of Hell.

The alleged reason is that Bella’s mother and stepfather are doing something related to his minor-league baseball career.

Apparently, both Bella’s mom and stepdad don’t have any friends who could take care of a seventeen-year-old for a couple months.

I loved Phoenix. I loved the sun and the blistering heat. I loved the vigorous, sprawling city.

“Even though I’m whiter than snow and hate being outside.”

I felt a spasm of panic as I stared at her wide, childlike eyes. How could I leave my loving, erratic, harebrained mother to fend for herself? Of course she had Phil now, so the bills would probably get paid, there would be food in the refrigerator, gas in her car, and someone to call when she got lost, but still…

It is bad enough that Stephenie Meyer is hell-bent on depicting Bella as a paragon of virtue. But now, Bella has to be “wise beyond her years”?  

Oh hell no.

Are supposed to believe that Bella has been cooking, cleaning, and paying the bills since infancy? I find this unbelievable.

And if Bella’s mom has the IQ of a houseplant, then how did she travel from Washington from Arizona? Walking?

Bella’s mom tells her that she can come back to Phoenix at any time.

But I could see the sacrifice in her eyes behind the promise.

Here’s an idea. Bella, stop acting like a martyr. And Bella’s mom, grow up.

Flying doesn’t bother me;

At least the bitching and moaning has stopped for a second.

Her Royal Pain in the Ass is wangsting how her father is very happy about her coming to Forks.

Despite Bella having the personality of roadkill, her father has registered her for high school and plans on getting her a car.

But it was sure to be awkward with Charlie. Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose,

For someone who is supposedly not verbose, she loves giving whiny blithering rants.

I’d already said my goodbyes to the sun.

Quit being so melodramatic! We get it, you feel like you’re descending into hell because you are going to be living in a town that you despise.

Charlie is Police Chief Swan to the good people of Forks.

Bella Swan…Bella—

Bella means “beautiful”. Stephenie Meyer gave her main character a name meaning “beautiful swan.”

Within the first chapter, we have a selfish, whiny, and melodramatic girl with a Suey name. The worst is yet to come.

My primary motivation behind buying a car, despite the scarcity of my funds, was that I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue lights on top. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop.

Whatever the brat wants, the brat gets.

God forbid Charlie says “Tough shit, Bells. You’ve got two options. You can ride in the police cruiser or you walk.”

Anyway, Bella arrives at the airport and Charlie awkwardly greets her.

I stumbled my way off the plane.

Evidently, Stephenie Meyer thinks being clumsy counts as a character flaw.

They make small talk during which Bella thinks about how she is not “allowed to call him Charlie to his face.“

Because calling him Dad would mean you are not in charge. Bella laments that she only has a few bags of clothes that fits into the trunk of the police cruiser.

Bella gets pissed off when Dad announces that he has found her a car.

“What kind of car?” I was suspicious of the way he said “good car for you” as opposed to just “good car.”

Fuck you, Bella. I’m not weeping over her Dickensian poverty.

Bella interrogates her dad where he got the truck and who owned the truck. It turns out that Bella’s car is a Chevy truck once belonged to one of Charlie’s fishing buddies who lives in the local Indian reservation. Bella then sneers that “would explain why I didn’t remember him. I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory.”

Her dad says that the guy is in a wheelchair and can no longer drive, so Charlie got the truck at a low price.

Bella demands to know what year it is. He says that the truck is old but has a new engine. Bella starts getting all pissy, asking “How cheap is cheap?”

Bella finally calms down once her father tells her that she doesn’t have to pay a penny and it’s a present.

Charlie wasn’t comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud. I inherited that from him.

This is very hilarious since Bella has spent much of this chapter giving whiny rants. And she will be screaming her “luv” for Edward into a megaphone, having two MASSIVE emotional breakdowns in the sequel, and being an intolerable bitch to anyone who is willing to put up with her bullshit.

Bella thanks her dad.

No need to add that my being happy in Forks is an impossibility. He didn’t need to suffer along with me.

You are right, Bella. Charlie doesn’t need to suffer. When you are sleeping, he can smother you with a pillow.

So neither of them talk for a while. And since Bella whines repeatedly like a song stuck on replay, she detests the rainforest that surrounds her.

It was beautiful, of course; I couldn’t deny that. Everything was green: the trees, their trunks covered with moss, their branches hanging with a canopy of it, the ground covered with ferns. Even the air filtered down greenly through the leaves. It was too green — an alien planet.

Even if someone plopped El Dorado in middle of Forks, Bella would still kvetch that isn’t Phoenix.

Surprisingly, the one thing that Bella hasn’t complained about is the truck. Bella claims that she likes it because “I could see myself in it."

But the real reason is that she doesn’t have to either "walking two miles in the rain to school or accepting a ride in the Chief’s cruiser.”

There was only one small bathroom at the top of the stairs, which I would have to share with Charlie. I was trying not to dwell too much on that fact.

How dreadful! Everyone knows that a Mary Sue must have an en suite bathroom! You can’t honestly expect a Sue to SHARE! The horrors!

It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased; a relief to stare dejectedly out the window at the sheeting rain and let just a few tears escape.

I don’t give a damn about selfish and whiny little brat who hates everything and complains about everything 24/7.

I would be the new girl from the big city, a curiosity, a freak.

Bella would be devastated if she wasn’t the center of attention.

S. Meyer, this is not the 19th century. Transfer students are not freakish or peculiar. People moving into new towns are no longer a big deal.

Bella is so humble that she assumes that everyone will give a damn about her.

But physically, I’d never fit in anywhere. I should be tan, sporty, blond — a volleyball player, or a cheerleader, perhaps — all the things that go with living in the valley of the sun.

Here is another Sue trait: being different from mere mortals! She doesn’t fit anywhere! Feel sorry for her!

Instead, I was ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of blue eyes or red hair, despite the constant sunshine. I had always been slender, but soft somehow, obviously not an athlete;

Translation: she’s pasty white and is out of shape.

Because Bella is the author’s avatar, she must be beautiful but oblivious to it.

I like how she makes a BIG DEAL out of not being an athlete. I think this is S. Meyer’s subtle way of telling us that athletic women are mannish and undesirable creatures while “proper”  ladies should sit and do needlework.

Apparently, Bella looks like this:

I wonder why…

I didn’t have the necessary hand-eye coordination to play sports without humiliating myself — and harming both myself and anyone else who stood too close.

Evidently, S. Meyer thinks being a mega klutz is a real character flaw in an otherwise perfect person. But it isn’t. An actual flaw would being dishonest, lazy, or selfish.

I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself. It wasn’t just physically that I’d never fit in.

“Poor woe is me! I’m a lonely outsider! Nobody understands me!”

I believe Meyer thinks this makes Bella a complex and unique character but she sounds like every other Mary Sue ever written. All of whom are special, too clever, too misunderstood, and too intellectual for their imbecile peers… But with no evidence to back this up.

I didn’t relate well to people my age.

It’s because you are a cold-hearted bitch who sneers at others and whines 24/7.

Maybe the truth was that I didn’t relate well to people, period.

At least Bella has something in common with most serial killers.

Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs.

Yes, she’s a Special Snowflake and nobody understands her. Bella is just like every other whiny, bitchy, emo teen.

Bella cried all night and “pulled the faded old quilt over my head, and later added the pillow, too.”

If Bella had pressed down, the story would be finally over. Unfortunately, Bella is still alive. She whines about how Forks is making her claustrophobic and good luck avoids her. Bella then balks about Dad having her school pictures on the wall.

After complaining about how her Dad is a loser, Bella decides to whine about the weather. Upon seeing shrubs around the school, she remarks: “Where was the feel of the institution? I wondered nostalgically. Where were the chain-link fences, the metal detectors?”

Where were the shanks? Where were the drug dealers? Where were the rapes? After Bella wishes the school was a prison, she walks inside. There, she meets a helpful and kind woman whom she ignores.

Bella is happy that all the other students have old cars.

I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me. I finally exhaled and stepped out of the truck.

See what Stephenie Meyer did? She talked about people biting her in a book about vampires! Truly Meyer has a dizzying intellect!

Bella tries her hardest to avoid people noticing her at all, short of wearing camouflage to blend into the wall.

It was fairly basic: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I’d already read everything. That was comforting… and boring.

The public school system clearly failed to run the curriculum by Bella to make sure it met her standards. This is Meyer’s clumsy attempt to convince us that Bella is smarter than everyone else because she reads classic literature.

Even though those books are on the curriculum for many schools.

When the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound, a gangly boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the aisle to talk to me. “You’re Isabella Swan, aren’t you?” He looked like the overly helpful, chess club type.

And Twilight just got its first cliched nerd. I’m surprised that Meyer didn’t give Eric a pocket protector.

“Bella,” I corrected. Everyone within a three-seat radius turned to look at me.

Because Bella is a Sue, everyone looks at her. She talks to Eric because she needs to meet her politeness quota. Bella can’t stand him and is paranoid that people are staring at her.

Now, Bella isn’t worried that people hate her or think she is a weirdo. She just wants to be ignored because being obnoxious + antisocial= humility. Eric asks Bella about Phoenix and she immediately ignores him. Isn’t she so kind?

“You don’t look very tan.”

“My mother is part albino.”

When Eric fails to appreciate her Wildean wit, she whines “It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn’t mix. A few months of this and I’d forget how to use sarcasm.”

Bella, you need to have a sense of humor before you can lose it.

Bella complains that people spoke to her and were friendly. Bella meets a girl who she can’t be bothered remembering her name. At lunch,  a girl tries to be nice to her and introduced Bella to her friends. 

Bella sits with this girl and her friends at the cafeteria. And Bella doesn’t try to remember their names.

And then IT happens. She sees the sparklepires. Even though Bella bitched and moaned about people staring at her, she proceeds to gawk at the rich hot white people.

One’s a burly meatball, one’s a tall and wiry blond guy, and one’s lanky with “untidy, bronze-colored hair.” Since he’s a Gary Stu, I take it with a grain of salt.

She also remarks that they look like “they could be in college, or even teachers here rather than students."

If that’s the case, then why are they pretending to be high school students for the billionth time?

One female sparklepire is tall and beautiful blonde while the other is pretty pixie girl who is supposed to be quirky.

And yet, they were all exactly alike. Every one of them was chalky pale, the palest of all the students living in this sunless town.

Which means they look exactly like Anita Blake.

Paler than me, the albino.

Bitch, please. You wish you were unique. You’re just whiter than toilet paper from staying indoors all day.

Bella is drooling over the hot people and muses "It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful — maybe the perfect blond girl, or the bronze-haired boy.”

I don’t look through rainbow-colored glasses and immediately interpret any character interaction as being potentially queer. 

But considering the fact that Bella is ogling the sparklepires and Bella will wrap herself around Alice and sniff her skin in New Moon…

I’m confident enough to say Bella is not heterosexual.

Bella asks who are the rich and hot people. They are the Cullens, adopted teenagers who live with the local doctor. Their names are Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice.

Despite knowing nothing about the sparklepires, Bella is convinced that everyone is jealous of how rich and hot the Cullens are.

Bella is extremely fascinated with auburn headed boy named Edward who ignored her except for a single second.

“That’s Edward. He’s gorgeous, of course, but don’t waste your time. He doesn’t date. Apparently, none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him.” She sniffed, a clear case of sour grapes. I wondered when he’d turned her down.

Of course, Bella would never be so petty. She’s better than all these pathetic, stupid, and ugly girls. Bella is the only one worthy to date Edward Cullen.

Then she bumps into Edward in biology class and is shocked that he looks at her angrily. The horror! Then Bella has a klutz attack.

Edward is leaning away from Bella and is “averting his face like he smelled something bad.” Like a weirdo, Bella sniffs her hair which smelled like “strawberries.” Edward spends the entire class trying to be as far away from her as possible.

And why should Bella pay attention in class? She has more important things to do like lusting after Edward.

He didn’t know me from Eve.

The cover has a half-eaten apple and the epigraph talks about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And now, Eve is mentioned.

My tiny mind can’t believe how clever and subtle Stephenie Meyer is.

He was glaring down at me again, his black eyes full of revulsion.

Thankfully, Edward hates Mary Sues too.

I sat frozen in my seat, staring blankly after him. He was so mean. It wasn’t fair.

“He’s not worshiping me! HE DOESN’T LOVE ME ON FIRST SIGHT! HE’S A MEANIE!"

This is why I don’t believe Bella hates people paying attention to her. Only ONE person won’t touch her a barge-pole. She’s furious and says that he was "mean” and whines that it isn’t “fair”.

And considering the only person ignoring her is the richest boy in the entire school… It shows that Bella is a shallow, gold-digging bitch.

Bella walks to gym with a cute and nice boy named Mike. Of course, she gives him the cold shoulder because he is not Edward Cullen.

Here, P.E. was mandatory all four years. Forks was literally my personal hell on Earth.

Two things, S. Meyer. Brava for perfectly capturing the selfish, immature, whiny, and immature attitudes of girls like Bella.

And in regards to how you use the word “literally”:

We also find out that Bella has volleyballphobia. This is supposed to show that Bella is an adorable klutz. And like a proper damsel in distress,  she hates any form of strenuous exercise.

Then she encounters Edward.

I quickly picked up the gist of the argument. He was trying to trade from sixth-hour Biology to another time — any other time.

In a better story, there would be another reason why Eddy would want to change Biology to a different time.

But in bad fiction, everyone and everything revolves around the Sue.

I just couldn’t believe that this was about me. It had to be something else, something that happened before I entered the Biology room.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe the world does not revolve around you?

It was impossible that this stranger could take such a sudden, intense dislike to me.

“I’m the most beautiful, kind, and selfless girl in the world. How can he resist my charming personality?”

Edward glares at her but was "absurdly handsome."

Bella walks to the truck. She describes the truck as the closest thing to a home in "this damp green hole.”

I headed back to Charlie’s house, fighting tears the whole way there.

“The rich and hot guy hates me! My life sucks!"

[our-legacy-rp-blog]

OLIVIA has been accepted for LAUREL CLARK

Your take on Laurel was brilliant, Olivia! We loved your writing, as well as the amount of detail you provided for all the questions - Laurel is in safe hands. Welcome to OL, and be sure you fill out the checklist HERE.

OOC name & pronouns: Olivia (she/her)

Age:21

Timezone: EST

IC INFORMATION:

Character’s name: Laurel Clark

FC choices: Lily Collins and Imogen Poots

Position request: Quidditch player (chaser)

Birthday: December 10th

Wand: 11 ¾, Hornbeam, phoenix feather

Patronus: A jaguar. The patronus is described as a more independent creature that does not rely on a group of animals. Quiet and indulgent. This describes Laurel quite well because she has always had to rely on herself throughout her adolescence. She was cared for but for a majority of her childhood she had to become independent faster than most children. While she does trust her friends, when it comes to her home life she always had to be her own ally. Her parents fear magic and fear what Laurel is capable of, but she simply wants to be able to harness her abilities to finally take control of something in her life.

Boggart: Her parents, more specifically her parents screaming witch related insults at her. Even though they have always been truly silent of the fact that she was a witch attending Hogwarts, she feared it becoming Salem-esque in which they would scream insults and fear everything that she was. Though they did fear what she was it was never solidified in word form, so the confirmation via their words that they did in fact hate and feared her would crush Laurel. There’s a small part of her that believes that maybe given some time her parents would finally come around, so having solidified insults hurled at her would truly be her greatest fear. The ultimate rejection of the people who made her.

Headcanons:

1.)  Laurel shoved her small shaking hands into the pockets of her jacket as she jogged back towards her house. The Tate’s brand new swing set had not split in two because of the quality of it’s metal and the ten year old knew that. Steel beams don’t simply snap in two when they’re fresh off the assembly line. Kiera was in tears and ran inside to tell her parents what had happened, but Laurel knew that she had to leave immediately. There was no explanation that was reasonable, and she had the same tingling feeling she had when grandmother’s china cabinet in the dining room suddenly fell (after being stagnant for longer than she had been alive), demolishing everything inside it. She flung the back door open and quickly slammed it shut behind her, taking a shaking breath in before falling to her knees. She wiped her hands down her pant legs as if she could wipe the tingling feeling away, but she knew that it was something she could never get rid of.

2.)  Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Laurel sat down at her desk armed with a fresh bit of parchment and her quill. She was going to write to them again, no matter what doubts clouded her mind at that moment. Dipping the quill into the black ink, she lowered her hand to the paper, writing the first line. Dear Mum and Dad it began, but something stopped her from writing what she wanted to say, the kind words she always wrote in an attempt to win them back suddenly left her mind. I’ve never fought harder for anyone’s approval, and I know that I’ll never get yours. Somehow that does not stop me from trying to win you both back. And that’s the sad bit isn’t it? A child should never have to win over the approval or love of her parents. She stopped, the harsher words of truth that wore on her heart constantly were now written in ink, which made them feel all the more real. Laurel picked up the letter and tore it in half, crumpling it until it was small in the palm of her hand before tossing it in the bin.

3.)  It was a cool morning, the kind of morning that only a Scottish fall can promise. The mist hung thick in the air as Laurel made her way down to the Quidditch pitch, after last night’s game she noticed a few things that she could make improvements on. Her posture had been lacking, she hadn’t been cutting her turns as quickly, and there was a lot of work to do. She pulled her hat down over her ears before scooping up her broom, running her thumb along the chip at the top of the handle. It came from a collision in fourth year with a Slytherin chaser; she remembered that they had won that match as well. She considered it a victory mark and ran her thumb over it whenever she felt like they needed a bit of luck. The edges of the mark that were once sharp grew smooth from the oils on her hands rubbing into the wood. It made her broom hers, and she smiled at the fact that something she owned had such a warm memory.

History: Laurel Clark’s journey truly begins with the journey of her parents.Lily and Peter Clark had met in their late teens through a mutual friend. They were young and fresh-faced university students at the time, both hurtling toward very different futures through their individual disciplines: Lily wanted to be a doctor, Peter was studying architecture. Nothing should have bonded them, not when Lily was strongly career focused and would let nothing get between her and her dream career of a residency, while Peter tended to take the days as they came, drifting through both life and his course. But there was something between them - not magic, they were too muggle for that - that kept Peter motivated to continue pursuing Lily, and something about Peter that made Lily feel like it wasn’t such a bad idea to break down those walls. What they settled for was supposed to be casual - Peter couldn’t interfere with her studying, and the moment he did, he was gone. Peter, enamoured by her wry sense of humour and determination, agreed. Lily ended up graduating and becoming a doctor, only breaking up with Peter half a dozen times before that happened - and Peter managed to find employment with the local council, working on building plans and designs.

A family wasn’t on Lily’s mind, not for several more years, but when she fell pregnant, the Clarks decided to give it a go, believing that they were ready. Laurel was born a healthy child, delivered right in the hospital that Lily worked at, and taken home a few days later. Their household was always a little chaotic as Laurel grew up. Lily was gone for long stretches of time, while her father preferred to hole up in his study, pouring over sketches and designs and shutting out the real world. Laurel’s upbringing was largely a self-governed one, as soon as she was able to provide it - she walked herself to school, made her own lunches, and tucked herself in at night. Her parents cared - and made sure to show it as often as they could - but they were extremely busy people that couldn’t revolve their lives around her. Which was how Laurel hid traces of her burgeoning magic as long as she did.

It was only small things, things she could explain away as accidents or on the neighbourhood kids, but Laurel knew it wasn’t normal. And when she turned eleven, she was delivered a letter that proved it: she was a witch, and she had been invited to attend Hogwarts. She wanted to go, desperately, but she was scared of asking her parents - and more than that, she was scared of their reactions. Laurel’s instincts were correct when, one day not long before term was supposed to begin, her mother found the Hogwarts letter. Hell seemed to rain down on the Clark household: her parents were shocked, angry, but above all, they were scared. Laurel terrified them, and in the end she packed her things and ran away to London to catch the train, only sending an owl once she got to Hogwarts to let her parents know where she was. They didn’t reply to that letter, or any others she sent. It was truly hard for her to understand why her parents wouldn’t love her for who she was. It was clear that magic was apart of who she was, and it was the one reason her parents feelings about her changed.

Laurel was sorted into Gryffindor, unaware of its traits or legacy. She wanted to learn to control her magic - she wanted to harness whatever was inside of her, instead of feeling ashamed. But that feeling was always there whenever she was forced to go home for the summer, where her parents would be waiting. The Clark’s didn’t talk about Hogwarts - in fact, they pretended that Laurel didn’t exist until she left at the end of summer. They tip toed around one another, and as Laurel got older, the more she refused to go back to her house. She was tired of walking on eggshells and feeling absolutely illegitimate. Instead, she’d stay with friends until term began, and her parents never bothered to care - whatever might’ve bonded them together once upon a time was gone.

A strong girl with a lot of common sense, Laurel has endured hardships that her peers couldn’t ever begin to understand. The alienation and abandonment from her parents weighs on her, even if she pretends it doesn’t - in fact, Laurel has gotten good at pretending she’s stronger than she is. Throwing herself into quidditch, friendships, dueling, and school, Laurel keeps active and persists at self-improvement: there’s always some new avenue that she can push herself harder at, if only to keep her mind distracted. Laurel’s good at making friends, but bad at keeping them - she’s often too stubborn, too distracted, or too callous for most to withstand in the long term. But Laurel doesn’t change herself for anyone, a lesson she learned the hard way, and unflinchingly walks the halls of Hogwarts, feeling as though she’s more than earned the right to be there. She’s accepted herself for who she is, magic and all.

Now: For six years Laurel has been whole heartedly dedicated to becoming the best witch she could be. She had a knack for learning magic and as she got further in her education she wondered if she could teach at Hogwarts someday. Teaching kids raised with magic and those like her who were raised without it. Truthfully, teaching is Laurel’s “safe” career option, she was quite taken with Curse Breakers when she learned about them in third year. A career of adventure, danger, finding historical objects, discovering ancient ruins. It was a life she only could dream about. Her inner adventurer telling her that she only had one life, to live it the way she wanted to. But something always held her back from pursuing it head on.

As dangers rumbled throughout the school, Laurel knew her dedication and precision in dueling would be important if anything worse were to occur. She practiced more than other people did, practiced harder at quidditch so she would become stronger. Though she lets her logic make a lot of her decisions, Laurel’s heart lies at the base of those decisions as well, though she hides it as much as she can. She is constantly learning how to recognize her feelings, acknowledge them, and let herself feel them. A weakness is spotted and immediately she shoves it deep inside herself, in her mind weaknesses don’t help anyone move forward. Knowing these things about herself she almost always assumes other people see them too, which is perhaps why she isn’t good at keeping her friends. Long-term things don’t come easily to Laurel because the only constant that she’s had in her life has been herself. She fears relying on others because they may let her down, or leave. She has always liked making friends and having them around, but the underlying fear of them leaving or leaving because of her is too much to bear. Though she does hide it from others well with her wit and sarcastic sense of humor.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

// y’know since I finished DD I've been trying to puzzle out why the ending was so unsatisfying, and I think I’ve figured it out 

First off, I felt really uncomfortable finishing off the phantom; I actually ended up feeling bad for him during his breakdown. But why, though? His breakdown is actually pretty similar to Matt Engarde’s (cowering behind the bench in fright, tearing up his face). In fact they’re both quite similar villains: They’re both responsible for kidnappings in some way, both could be considered sociopaths  and both pretending to be innocent.

However, where I hate Matt Engarde and take great pleasure in making him cry as I threaten to put him in jail or leave him at the mercy of an assassin... I don’t really feel anything towards The Phantom. I acknowledge his crimes were bad, but they don’t make me feel the same hatred, so I don’t really feel especially good taking him down.

In fact, the person I felt the most hatred towards in DD was Aura Blackquill, and her take-down wasn’t satisfying at all. 

So I think the main problem with this ending is similar to the reason why everyone mistakes Dahlia as the arch-villain of T&T

Lets think about her for a second; Dahlia isn’t the true villain of Bridge; its Godot (as the murderer) and Morgan (As the person who put the evil plan in motion in the first place)

But we hate Dahlia with a fiery passion. Why? 

Because she's A) Really Unpleasant, and B) She visibly hurt someone we care about as an audience. 

Godot doesn’t register as the main villain because his actions (though stupid, selfish and fucking awful) were based from a good intention (not really though) and his victim was someone so peripheral that it hardly matters. Hell, we don’t even know who she is and how she affects someone we relate to (Maya) until quite late in the case. (tbh I actually don’t know why people don’t hate Godot more; he put every one of the Feys in danger for his own shitty revenge and he sucks. But I’m getting off track...) 

Morgan doesn’t register as the main villain because she only appears in flashback and doesn’t do anything material. She’s still disgusting for treating her daughters that way and attempting to have Maya killed, but she doesn’t appear for us to hate.

So our hatred is laser-beamed at Dahlia, who is nasty, smug, and most importantly: She hurt someone we care about. We can see how much her actions destroyed Phoenix over the course of the entire game; his misfortune is the catalyst for us to hate her, along with what she had in mind for Maya. Same for Matt Engarde and Manfred von Karma; both of them visibly hurt and endanger Maya and Edgeworth respectively, who are characters we’ve come to sympathize with and love.

Nobody cares about Juan Corrida, Robert Hammond or Valerie Hawthorne/Terry Fawles’ deaths all that much because we don’t know them. If they had been the villains’ only targets, we wouldn’t have hated them as much. What makes them an Arch-villain is how they affect a main character.  Redd White and Morgan Fey (in her first appearance) become closest to arch-villains in their one-off villain roles because of their involvement with main characters.

But, returning to DD, the Phantom doesn’t actually... do that. Sure, he killed Clay, who was Apollo’s best friend, and Metis, Athena’s mother... But they’re such non-entities that it doesn’t trigger my sense of sympathy. Now I’m not saying non-appearing characters can’t have weight; but the way to do this is to have their presence made known through the actions or words of more important characters.

We can feel Magnifi Grammarye even if we’ve never met him because of the effect he had on Zak, Valant an even Trucy. We can feel Misty Fey because of DL-6 lore and Maya’s own grief. We can feel Celeste Impax because of how broken Adrian is over her death. Or at least we can at least feel bad for Adrian and hate Matt because of it.

But they don’t do that in DD; they set up their expendable characters very poorly. Clay obviously means a lot to Apollo, and we’d probably feel his presence through Apollo’s grief....... if we were allowed to actually see Apollo’s grief. He’s basically shoved out of the story after Clay’s death to ‘investigate it on his own terms’, so apart from a couple of lines, we don’t really see how much it hurts him in depth. Meanwhile, (and this frustrated me to no end) NOBODY else seems to give two shits about Clay. Even Solomon Starbuck, his mentor, is more worried about Athena during the case. He basically has a line or two of how much it sucks to lose Clay, then he totally forgets about him. 

I love Clay as a concept, but he’s drowned out by all the other grandiose plot elements and never given a proper funeral. So I find it hard to care about his death.

Metis gets things slightly better as Athena doesn’t go missing halfway through the game... but her death also only comes up pretty late in the game and, well... Her memories aren’t altogether great. As much as Athena says she loves her, she also explains her belief that her mother had been experimenting on her, and didn’t care much for her. And it’s fairly obvious that Metis Cykes wasn’t the most attentive of mothers, no matter what Simon Blackquill says to the contrary. Anyone who lets their naive 11 year old daughter play with heavy machinery is not a good mother in my books.  So I loose sympathy for her.

Oh! And the person who grieves for her most? It’s Aura Blackquill, who is so bitter, cruel and selfish that I like Metis even less just by association. 

So our main reasons to hate the Phantom don’t really stack up. Besides that, his previous bombings don’t actually have any casualties, unless you count what happened to the HAT-1 and Starbuck. At the same time, if I remember correctly, that’s actually the fault of Yuri Cosmos and the Government who allowed the launch even when there were threats from a spy. Good going, you guys. (that might’ve been the HAT-2 actually but tbh my point still stands.)

There’s no story-weight behind his villainous deeds. Also, there’s no malice; the Phantom doesn’t kill for the horrible reasons the other villains do. von Karma killed out of twisted and petty revenge, Matt Engarde was a vain and utterly self-absorbed monster, and Dahlia (and Morgan) were both selfish and hateful.

But the Phantom kills for two reasons; orders from a higher-up, and to protect his own identity. Sounds a lot like our Other Assassin, Shelly de-Killer, who I’m not sure anyone hates, really. (I dunno. I never hated him all that much) That obviously doesn’t make his murders permissible or forgivable in any way, but it lacks the spiteful motivation that makes us hate a villain. Phantom was just ‘doing his job’. Perhaps we’d hate him a little more if we knew the origins of his mysterious contractors.... but we don’t. We don’t even know if they’re evil. They could be the country’s own government for gods sake. Hell, even knowing that would add some intrigue. But we know diddly squat. He’s a nowhere man, living in a nowhere land, making all his nowhere plans for nobody. 

In any case. The Phantom doesn’t provide us with evil personality traits or close-to-home crimes. Who does?

Aura Blackquill, of course! She’s highly unpleasant, her motivation is selfish hatred for a child, her actions are ridiculously overblown and ill-timed (could’ve done something a little earlier than the day before the execution, eh, Aura?) and the person she kidnaps?

Trucy. Our precious darling Trucy who we’ve had an entire game to get to know, love and sympathize with. 

Of course I love (read: hate) how the game tries to play this off like it’s no big deal; Phoenix barely worries about her (in comparison to his constant stress/anxiety/near panic attacks over Maya in Farewell) and when she comes back there’s like 2 lines of her being all “Nah it was cool i just did magic tricks lol” Along with Aura asserting that “none of this could have been accomplished without me”. Yes, thanks Aura; none of this could have been accomplished without terrorism and kidnapping. You sure are a grade-A hero. 

So we finally come to the final point of the Phantom; his lack of emotions. Or his semi-lack of emotions, or... Well. DD doesn’t explain it very well. Does he have emotions? Does he not? Are they very minor, or does he control them very well (...somehow? You can’t suppress an emotion so much that it disappears; by the Mood Matrix logic, they’d still be able to hear it easily underneath.) 

Phantom gives the cliché spiel of “emotions make you weak”, until the heroes insist that they don’t. And then... He doesn’t go down with defiance? He doesn’t go down cursing emotion to his grave. In his last moments, something in our heroes’ words touches him and in a moment of self-reflection he tries to ultimately remember who he is. Most villains show no remorse, but the Phantom seems very close to perhaps taking a step in the right direction. He renounces his lack of emotions and gives in to fear, and his end is really honestly terrifying to watch (at least it was to me)

This might partially be that I still associate him with Bobby, who’s been pretty much my favourite character in and motivation for finishing the game. Whatever the case, the Phantom doesn’t really make me feel smug for defeating him. Just kind of... uncomfortable.

 Then he gets shot by the most amateur sniper in the universe (unless this is just another plan) and carted off to the Police. And so, with that ONE SINGLE TRIAL, the Dark Age of the Law is vanquished. Because that’s how Trust works. 

TL-DR; the DD team did a poor job of setting up concrete reasons for us to hate the phantom, making his defeat not particularly satisfying. Also the whole plot is garbage and i hate it but meh 

[survivor-hosts]

Ep. #2: “One Woman Hall of Fun House Mirrors” - Drew

The tribes were given the music video immunity challenge. Jinsei planned out a story to go with their song and what each person will do whereas Naicha didnt seem to care much.  Jinsei obviously won.  After the results, a plan was made by Jessy and Drew to blindside MJ while MJ was trying to convince Jessy to blindside Drew. Meanwhile, Regan being uber paranoid and started freaking out in the tribe chat and telling people she is going to vote for them and making up fake advantages.  This lead everyone to change their votes to take out Regan as she was too much of a liability.  Jessy still voted for MJ even though she knew Regan was going.

update: im here but rip to my perfect game cause catherine randomized her vote

Cat: I don’t use sugar she’s cursed I’m using Christy I won with her also cat: gets voted out first I’m disappointed to see cat go first. I was really excited to play a game with her for the first time ever and I just wish there was something I could have done to help her.

Can’t wait to be second boot

[2:30:43 PM] Austin Trevino: Ok!! I’m trying to scroll back right now and catch myself up but Skype isn’t showing like half of the messages for some reason. Did we decide on an idea? [2:31:13 PM] Sam: we’re doing something LGBT+ related since it’s pride month omg the trumpie is shaking

[2017-06-12 4:08:53 AM] Jessy: this is actually crazy [2017-06-12 4:08:58 AM] Jessy: IS NO ONE GONNA DO ANYTHING?????????????????????????? [2017-06-12 4:08:59 AM] Jessy: BKLMASDFKLMASFKLMDFKLSDAFMS [2017-06-12 4:08:59 AM] Jessy: LIKE [2017-06-12 4:09:01 AM] Jessy: KLJSKLJSSKLMSKLMSKMLSKM [2017-06-12 4:09:19 AM] Jessy: THERES LEGIT GONNA BE NO VIDEO [2017-06-12 4:09:19 AM] Jessy: SLKJSLKJSKLJS [2017-06-12 4:09:22 AM] Jessy: BC THESE PPL ARE SO LAZY [2017-06-12 4:09:26 AM] Jessy: OR THEYRE JUST THROWING [2017-06-12 4:09:27 AM] Jessy: BKLMSADFLKDS [2017-06-12 4:10:51 AM] Jessy: LEGIT ITS LIKE [2017-06-12 4:10:53 AM] Jessy: SICKENING FOR ME [2017-06-12 4:10:54 AM] Jessy: TO DO NOTHING [2017-06-12 4:10:56 AM] Jessy: KLBMASKLDMDFSAMKL [2017-06-12 4:10:59 AM] Jessy: I WANNA YELL AT EVERYONE AND JUST GET TO WORK [2017-06-12 4:11:01 AM] Jessy: ME: U DO THIS! [2017-06-12 4:11:04 AM] Jessy: ME: GET THIS PROP! [2017-06-12 4:13:47 AM] Jessy: ugh it makes me mad [2017-06-12 4:13:48 AM] Jessy: KLBMASDFKDSMA [2017-06-12 7:59:26 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

For me, this season is about Redemption. I just learned that Connah is looking to break his pre-merge curse he’s adapted to over the past few seasons played, so instantly I need to jump on that connection and form some sort of understanding between us in order to prevent him from going after me. I feel like this creates a whole lot of trust, and when the time comes where I’ll need it most I’ll be damn sure to use my allies to my advantage in securing votes. The thing with Connah is that he’s viewed as our tribe’s local Inactive. The time zone thing really does hurt his game because of my tribe consisting of sleepy old schoolers. Me, the insomniac that I am, can use this to my advantage by being Connah’s go-to for info and reliance. The problem for me though is looking back to Bhutan, where the last time I trusted someone in a different country voted me out @F5… *eyes Max*

It’s Day 4. 4 days since the game started and I’m not in game-mode yet. It’s probably because it’s been a long time since I played a main but even then, in Generations I wasn’t in game-mode at all. I may be too comfortable or I’m not on guard but I haven’t had that “spark” yet. I have no alliances yet, I’ve talked game to no one. Is this new schools Tumblr Survivor? Things are just…slow? Now I’m not sure if everyone is just feeling things out or I’m already in the minority but I just feels so detached from the game. Catherine has been voted out FIRST and that should give me motivation to do better but I didn’t feel anything. I think what made me feel so detached in games is that in the past year, I’ve played two orgs on Facebook. I didn’t mesh well with people there at all and basically became emotionless and indifferent. That in turn led me into FTC and Final 4 respectively. I’m trying to do the same thing and I thought this is Tumblr where my ORG life started I should have connections or know everyone, should be hard but it actually isn’t. People usually label me as a non-threat until late into the game but I have to be careful because I have friends on my tribe and the other tribe but if I can somehow manage to convince everyone I’m not a threat and will be helpful to them I could pull this off for the third time and make it to FTC. That’s my game plan. As for my relationships in this tribe, I’m friends with Connor for about a year. It’s almost common knowledge since we hosted 4 games together but in the event that people don’t we’re both trying to be distant to one another in the tribe chat. The next person I’m closest to (minus Connor ofc) is probably Jessy but we haven’t talked game yet. I’m still kinda feeling things out. I don’t know how to end this confessional PS I have 4 outdated video confessionals because I can’t upload them BECAUSE NO INTERNET !!! FUTURE JOSH REMEMBER THIS MOMENT AFTER THE GAME IS OVER AND HOW YOU FELT THIS CLOSE TO SUING THE INTERNET COMPANY

Catherine deserves all the good things in the world by the way. She’s an angel. Please let the Phoenix Idol be the Arabia twist.

Okay but in all seriousness, can I tell you how scary it was to see my name come up last night… like Catherine made no effort to communicate with anyone so she can’t say “no ones talking to me” when she doesn’t do the same. Communication is a two way street, you get what you put into any conversation. Idk I just find her to be very hypocritical and don’t really feel bad that she was the first boot. I really want to push for a David/Andrew/Myself alliance, but for the moment I am worried that David and Sam are close and he would spill the beans. I feel like Sam is pretty well rounded in this tribe and that kinda worries me, but I can’t do anything about it so early you know?? But I think I have something solid with Andrew, I feel like Austin trusts me, and I have the Amulet of Abduction in my possession. If things go south, I think I have the tools needed to reverse the car and drive north. Now thinking about it, maybe Catherine voting me out was a good thing because the other tribe could possibly think I’m in the minority and save me for the next round. Who knows honestly, but one could hope. I really have no idea what could happen and I think my paranoia at that tribal during the live call has people questioning me. However, I did contribute a lot to this challenge and I think that puts me in good graces. I suggested the LGBT theme in celebration of Pride Month, which got us going somewhere with our video. I really hope we win mainly because I think our challenge idea is so cute, and if the judges don’t see that then they got something wrong with them. Heres to hoping we win this challenge so I have one peaceful night of sleep

omg austin writing #lovetrumpshate on his sign… me: *blurs it out in the video* i hate that i have to be on a tribe with a trumpie… i just hate it so much… it sucks that i actually get along with him? godt

me when we win this music video challenge

so yeah if we don’t win this challenge it’s plain homophobia

So basically the last vote was super easy except our tribe literally doesnt talk….Sam and I had to get the ball rolling which is weird for me because I never take part in that but I guess im like the leader of the tribe or something (Not really) Im really good with Sam like I think we are going to be a solid 2 going into a swap. Im good with Andrew and Lydia and Austin as well. Sam and I want to get an alliance chat of those people + Scott going so that we can have majority and no one feels left out and we can vote out Connor if needed. The music video we will hopefully and and then I wont have to worry about getting 15th! 

[13/06/2017, 10:21:03 AM] Josh: I can talk when I get to my desk! I’m driving atm [13/06/2017, 10:23:14 AM] Regan: Okay thanks lmk [13/06/2017, 10:37:35 AM] Regan: you drive slow

A plan to blindside Drew has been made but I’m not sure if it wise. On one side, Drew is a huge threat and he’s on everyone’s good side, but if we’re swapping tomorrow it’s not ideal to have a broken tribe. Only me, Jessy, MJ and Regan know about this and it’s enough to send Drew home but that would leave Connor and Allison out of the loop. I’m more concerned about burning the bridge I have with Connor that’s why I’m gonna try and pull off a unanimous vote. Or at least a 5-2 vote. I need Connor’s trust and more importantly it’s only the first tribal we’re going and I’m already hiding things from Connor. I’m at a dilemma. My vote seems to be the deciding factor if we keep Regan or not. We still have a lot of time to think about the vote and I think it’s better to have a full on discussion together with MJ and Jessy and see what we’re gonna do. For right now I’m gonna feel out Connor and see what he thinks of possibly blindsiding Drew.

So we won the challenge and we did that, the judges just knew not to be homophobic. But honesty the other tribes vid was not that good so we had this shit down. I think Regan is going and thank god because apparently she was trying to kidnap me and im like please get out before you ruin me thanks. I love Matt Summers so much also because we had a little tea session and it was juicy. he told me about the Regan stuff and I told him about why we voted out Cat seaux I hope if theres a swap we are good

Oh okay the game’s starting now huh. I’m sorry in advance, dear readers, this is gonna be lengthy as fuck, I really should’ve done a Meet the People confessional the first week but I got lazy so here we are! So first and foremost, I’d like to personally thank Steffen for messaging me after immunity results like WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT MUSIC VIDEO because we know, babe. We know. Dramatic little fuck, ilysm. ANYWAY my ass is making some interesting mistakes! We’re gonna break this lil confessional section into three segments because it’s how I’m processing my thoughts: All Stars, Congo, and Pacific Islands. 1.        When I first walked into this tribe, my first thought was “OH look, three All Stars kids! Well that can’t happen!” and then they turn out to be…….the only…….people…………I talk to???????? dkjlshlkfjhgKJHFLKJSHD kill me now honestly. So now this is the crew I’m accidentally rolling with for at least this first vote. MJ gave me a call on like night two like “I wanna work with you until the end, I think we could go really really far together and it’s not something people would see coming” and I’m like WHEW this probably means I’m not first boot huh. Like okay if by some miracle or twist of fate, I’m actually capable of making FTC here, I’m not going with no damn MJ, but realistically who says no to an F2? Jessy is a fucking angel, and the only person who will semi-reliably reach out and just say hey, which I’m not sure I’ve ever done with her. Actually, because this is reminding me, I’m gonna go do that right now! … kk now that that’s done. She’s a sweetheart, I don’t ever want to do anything against her or without her. Like I will if I have to, don’t you worry about that, but it would hurt. And then Matt Summers who I’ve talked to like twice since the season started because he’s always busy but like they were real conversations, it wasn’t even anything game-related, we like poured our hearts out to each other. And now he’s been kidnapped so he’s not on the table anyway. But like honestly truthfully, these All Star kids are the good eggs of the beach, I could actually see working with them for a while (cut to Connor and Josh and Allison’s confessionals saying the same thing because they’ve gotten the same calls and the same messages and I’m actually just that easy to manipulate). 2.        Okay, Congo. Congo is a side season I won a million years ago. Hosted by Connor, Josh, and Cat. So when they all popped up here, two of them on my tribe, best believe I was SCREAMING. And it was cute until I realized the main season history that Cat and Josh had and how that wouldn’t last. And sure enough, Miss Cat was the first to die and that wasn’t completely unexpected but damn why these bitches have to take my secret pair beware??? We literally saw Moana together in theaters, I’d have thrown away my entire game for her. But this boot is probably a better case scenario because now fewer people are looking at Josh and Connor, they lost their footing on the other tribe and are just in general softer more passive people, at least outwardly. Everyone knows they’re connected, Josh hosted Connor in Palawan and they did Arabia together, but I don’t know that I’m exactly linked with them, which is great right now because if we can manage to work together on a lower radar for a while, it could end up being very very helpful in getting things together moving forward in new tribe configurations. 3.        Oh Pacific Islands…….a mess. This is Regan and Allison. Allison is an interesting case because on the one hand I love her, she’s one of my favorite hosts, I’ve been hosted by her in three Pacific Islands games before, she’s a lot of fun. But she knows how I play these days. She and Andrew actually did a cast assessment for PI Johto, which was Heroes vs Villains, and some of the things they said were spot-on but not things I want out. Allison talks about how she wishes I’d been cast on the villains tribe because I’m like secretly cutthroat as fuck, willing to stab literally anyone in the back, may not be seen as a villain but has very villainous characteristics. And Andrew is like Drew is super hard to read, you can have an image in your head of Drew’s game and who he’s aligned with and you could be completely wrong and then suddenly you’re the one working with him and making moves, but it’s never shady. And like true but fuck. So like Allison knowing this much about my game, having hosted me through to the finale episode three times, seen me win one and get player of the season once, is a bit of a scary concept because I’m LIVING for the fact that I’m mostly an unknown entity to these people, like MJ and Matt might know bits of my record and stories from Kait or being in VLs or whatever but so few of them have seen me play and I’m ready to not be nearly as known. And then Regan is just being……..whew. Imagine messaging everyone 20 seconds after the challenge ended, like actually everyone, schedule calls with them, literally tell someone on call that you’re leaving to go talk to someone else instead, frantically messaging the tribe chat like “I know I’m the easy choice” “I just want to beat my best placement” like babe we all do, this is a returning season and only two of these flops have won, we’re all hungry to at least better ourselves. She’s been rubbing people the wrong way, especially Connor and MJ. I don’t think anyone except Allison would lift a finger to save her. BUT HERE’S THE THING, THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE TO. Regan. Got. A. Vote. Stealer. From the idol map. Which is apparently a thing! So in this tribe of seven, literally all she needs to stay is me and Allison and her vote stealer. I mean granted, she doesn’t have me and I don’t think she knows that yet, but it’s a nice concept, very cute. Like I’m not going to stick my neck out for her on literally the first vote when if we don’t swap and Matt comes back, everything could quickly fall apart for me. Plus another layer. I have the map now. And Regan is the only one who knows that it’s even a POSSIBILITY that I might. She didn’t EXACTLY tell me so even she might not realize it. She was trying to be vague like “It’s on the blog, it’s super obvious but not something you’d ever think to search for, like what specifically would you be looking for” so I tried board, then grid, then map and BAM. So I make my very first search and find a vote negator!! Oh do I already have big dreams for this little baby This place could be a fucking gold mine for me moving forward, if no one knows that I have it and I never have to expose that I do until it’s time. I was never a captain, I never got a clue, who would look at poor little Drew for any sort of power? Regan, that’s who, who knows if she’d even guess that I did figure it out after all, I never told her I did, but she knows what she told me. Which is why she absolutely has to leave now because she’s the only one who could know. Now I have a way to test the loyalty of whoever becomes captain next, and at least for the moment, of accumulating wealth without anyone knowing. Part of me wants to go for broke and ask Regan what places she’s already searched but I’m not pushing my luck and forcing her to realize that I made it to the map. That’s on her to figure out. I don’t know where I’m going from here, Trevor said it would be beneficial to be on Skype after tribal tonight, which probably means a swap. Which sucks a little because I have a pretty good connection with everyone here right now, I fit into all three of the groups listed above, I think I might actually end up in alliance chats with all three by the time tribal rolls around. But I’ll find new friends if I have to. I’m a lot more confident in my ability since the last time I did a main season, and I’m finally in a season where I can potentially be looked over and befriended as a number and might not have to fight quite as hard to dodge the immediate threat edit. I’m nowhere near the passive player I used to be. Who knows if I’ll win this season, but I was not proud of my performance in Sri Lanka and Bangladesh, so it’s time to have a main season experience I can look back on and say I did that. This vote negator and I are gonna go find some friends and get down to business!

[2017-06-12 5:52:25 PM] Jessy: ughhh [2017-06-12 5:52:28 PM] Jessy: i hate this [2017-06-12 5:52:38 PM] Jessy: keeping regan is better on THIS tribe [2017-06-12 5:52:49 PM] Jessy: but im just giving away three free allies to sam and lydia [2017-06-12 8:06:55 PM] Jessy: I love Regan but like I can totally picture being in trouble with her, Matt and Allison if we were to make this move. Making enemies out of Drew, Josh, Connor and MJ is literally so fucking scary but I don’t want to regret this later on thinking that I should have made the move so that this season wouldn’t end with a winner like Sam, Lydia or MJ. But I also don’t want to be one of those players who only make “big moves” just for the flashiness of it. [2017-06-12 9:47:46 PM] Jessy: okay U know what? [2017-06-12 9:48:00 PM] Jessy: I completely understand the logic Matt implied [2017-06-12 9:48:13 PM] Jessy: but here’s the thing. OPPORTUNITY! [2017-06-12 9:48:35 PM] Jessy: By voting out Regan I’m accepting a position at the bottom of an alliance that not only has numbers on my tribe but the other tribe as well [2017-06-12 9:48:53 PM] Jessy: So yes it does make enemies of the other tribe, but the opportunity I have rn is to take out the person that connects them [2017-06-12 9:48:58 PM] Jessy: the head of the snake. [2017-06-12 9:49:21 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: wheres your confessional

Anyways scratch all this bc Regan is targeting me apparently so she’s DONE.

last night lydia and i agreed that we should make a 4 with connor and scott and try to take out austin cause david suggest a 4 between me, austin, him and andrew right before the cat vote but now david is including me, andrew, scoot and lydia in an alliance YIKES G2G!!!!!!

Scratch that it looks like we’re voting Regan again

So the first tribal council was pretty successful aside from the fact that Connor was left out of the loop. But honestly I’m over that. I’ve been talking to him a little more lately and same with Lydia so trying to keep those social connections up! I would give a more extensive recap but essentially the challenge went fine except for a marker fiasco where a new purple marker fresh out the box exploded all over my table…..anyway! Scott and I have been getting closer and he’s really cool tbh. He told me today that I’m his #1 and that he wants to go through everything in this game with me “at his side” and I’m like alrighty! Hope he’s not saying that to anyone else lmao. In terms of other people, David and I have been good and Sam and I have on and off convos - sometimes involving strategy and other times not. Lydia and Connor I’ll talk to here and there but not about strategy. And then there’s the fun Forced Austin Convos™… Okay I ain’t gonna be mean like the conversations I have with him are genuine but also never go anywhere? Like I guess we have each other’s backs which is fine. I’m just waiting for him to really REALLY strike something with me but he doesn’t which I guess is fine because I don’t trust him and therefore wanna vote him out. The big development of the day though was David and I got an alliance going. I basically just cracked open a cold one with the boy and said let’s talk an alliance and before I knew it he was getting Sam I was getting Scott and Sam was getting Lydia. This is also good for me getting close to Lydia btw! Keeping that in mind. Also David wanted Lydia and I wanted Scott but my messages fucked up so we ended up getting both of them? Which is fine… I think. We were going for a 4 person alliance but I’ll work with 5 the best I can. I just needed Scott to be involved. That was a top priority. So now the other tribe’s tribal is tonight and from all the completely expected game related shit Matt has talked on Regan - she’s going home. BUT. This is a main season. Ya never know what wackadoodle-Dan shit is gonna happen.

[1:15:02 AM] Jessy: THIS TRIBE IS SO CRACKEDT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [1:17:00 AM] Jessy: MJ IS SENDING MIXED SIGNALS! [1:17:02 AM] Jessy: LIKE SIS! [7:45:09 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: What’s happening [7:45:13 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Make a confessional

things are… confusing yet also very straight forward. the vote was pretty clean cut on being regan, then things.. well, they happened. regan told drew that she heard her name from mj (mj i think???) and then she was like BUT i heard your name from mj. so drew messaged me like ‘what is the happen’ and i was like, well, i have never heard your name so thats probably not happening. regan told drew that she has a vote stealer and is going to try and take mj’s vote and vote for mj, but frankly the vote steal probably isnt real. i have a good thing going with allison, i like her a lot and i really hope to work with her deep into this game. im hoping to pull together an alliance of myself, josh, mj, drew, and allison and then a counter one? with everyone else. that would leave me in the middle which is where i play games best. im just hoping regan goes. i know she would be an easy shield down the road, but theres just no clear target going into this vote, and especially with her having a vote steal, taking her out with it and seeing if it’s something that exists will be very beneficial in the long run.

So I really am happy that we ended up winning the immunity challenge. Beforehand I was so scared cause we lost the first immunity and I didn’t want to go back to tribal after receiving a vote at the last one. Plus I don’t know who they would have kidnapped which really scared me. Lydia and I also discussed who we should end up kidnapping outside of the tribe. She was really worried about her relationship with Matt Summers and their previous game history, so she felt it was best to kidnap him. I personally didn’t give a fuck so I just went with it. Even though if we kidnapped Regan, it would have easily changed their tribe dynamic since Matt confirmed that she was an easy vote. I kinda wish he would have like actually given info on the dynamics so I could know who to abduct if we end up never swapping. Also, I’m low key surprised that Regan told the other tribe I had a final 2 with her mainly cause I don’t and know that she’s bad for my game being here. She also told them she wouldn’t take me to the end, which really has me thinking I’m a huge threat on their side. Personally, I think there are more fish to fry on my tribe over myself, so I hope I don’t go home anytime soon. Lydia also told me she talked to Connah and he seems to have a fire lit under him because he’s more motivated now. Which I’m happy about cause he did a phenomenal job on our video. If the tribes do stay the same and we lose again, I would personally like to see Austin go over Connah. Lydia and I compared notes on how Austin’s conversations come across as very fake and in genuine, and like hes only talking to us through a game perspective. I just find Austin to be fishy. Today, Sam told me that Lydia and I would be approached by Andrew and David about an alliance. And she even told us that she has a separate alliance with just Andrew and David. I’m actually happy she told me this mainly because now I have info against her for down the road. Andrew approached me moments later about it and I acted like I had just heard this. So I got added to an alliance with Andrew/David/Sam/Myself called the Pure Four. I’m happy that this alliance was made cause it was the alliance that I wanted, but right now I just feel very suspicious if that makes sense. I think the smartest thing for my game is to lay low until the moment is right. Who knows if that will happen though mainly cause if I use the Amulet of Abduction premerge, it makes me a pretty big target going into the merge. It sucks cause I want to tell Andrew so I can further our trust but I can’t tell him without exposing the Three Muskequeers (Sam/Lydia/Myself) and why Lydia was chosen to be captain was to help our alliance. So right now I just need to lay low and hope that Regan didn’t completely ruin my reputation on the other tribe

I swear to god, Regan is like a one woman hall of funhouse mirrors and all we’re trying to do is walk a straight line.

So IDK IM GETTING VOTED OUT AN DIM FREAKING. ITS ME OR MJ ME OR MJ I HATE LIFE