#and if that ain't a trans story I don't know what is

[themaeve]

AHHHHH! Memoire 61.5 of the Case Study of Vanitas just dropped! I'm loving everything about where we are going with this dham arc!

We are finally getting more on the whole business with where dhampirs stand in this society. Feared by humans as being too close to vampires, looked down on and at one point hunted(!) by vampires. And wow are the Count's people prejudiced as fuck. The only reason Dhampirs have "the right to exist" is because they are under the eccentric Marquis Machina's protection.

Watching Johann and Riche broke my heart this chapter. The way they both reached for their glasses when it was mentioned how dhams are revealed by their eyes. Riche was visibly scared the entire time and Johann was trying his best to comfort her. It really characterizes Dante, the member of the Dham trio who doesn't wear glasses, and is also almost always the most loud and proud of the three. Dante doesn't give a single fuck to "hide" his eyes.

Bless Noe, calling bullshit on everyone with "Isn't it just less confusing to just call people by their name?" Love that man so much. Vanitas stifling his laughter at Noe's wholesome honesty. Perfect.

I also really appreciate Domi's bits this chapter. My girl thinks she is so progressive with her whole "Being prejudiced in this day and age? How unattractive." And then only minutes later getting somewhat called out by Noe for never even learning Dante's name. Domi learning that she ain't above being prejudiced and that she needs to do better. Not being outwardly hateful is the bare fucking minimum. I love that last panel of her, that mix of embarrassment, panic, and palpable shame she feels with herself. The way she got really quiet and shut down. It hurt to watch in a good way. I've been there Domi. You gotta collect yourself, learn from your mistakes, identify and overcome your personal biases. Don't fall back into more self-hatred, you can do it girl! God I love her so much.

Also, I love that last panel of pissed off Dante! Dude is so over this conversation. Staring daggers at Noe like "Is this some kind of fucking White Knight routine of yours or are you genuinely this naive and friendly?" Good sir I eagerly await your angry rant next chapter. Fucking go off my dude.

This chapter had so much emotion from everyone. Hate, anger, fear, shame, love. All of it on display. As much as I have really started to hate the "fantasy racism" cliche, I'll give this one credit for some realism in displays of prejudice and the subtle effects it has on its targets. While I don't have experience being the target of racist prejudice, I do have experience being the target of queerphobic prejudice. The dhams really hit with me, especially the lines calling them "half-formed things, neither fish nor fowl." Like, yep I'm trans and non-binary, I've heard and seen that type of shit said before.

The way Riche and Johann reached instinctively for their glasses when it was mentioned how the uncontrollable gold flashes of their eyes give them away to humans. I felt that, being "revealed" by features of your body and being instinctually self conscious about them. Trying to hide the things that "give you away". I still remember when Jeanne was trying to figure out if Johann was human or vampire, watching the anime, hearing the tired and thorny contempt in Johann's voice with the delivery of "Nope, I'm a dham." Shivers. Same fucking energy of delivering "I'm nonbinary" to random people for fuckteenth flippin time watching the fucking look in their eye change as they realize what I am. Then, Johann catches himself after saying it, realizing Jeanne didn't mean any offense, that his tone was too prickly. She just genuinely didn't know. You can feel how Johann is always on guard. Always having to be prepared for people who think he doesn't have "the right to exist." I felt that.

I'm optimistic for how the story handles this arc. I'm praying it's good and doesn't fall for the problematic elements of "fantasy racism" tropes. The way this chapter handled Domi makes me hopeful. That and anymore material we get on Dante, Johann, and Riche is a win in my book.

[punkeropercyjackson]

To explain the problem with how the Atsv fandom deals with Hobie a lot and sometimes with Gwen too............Hobie and Gwen have certain expectations put on them as a slightly older black character and a female character who's the male mc's love interest.Hobie is expected to be overtly sexual and uncommited to his partners('I hate labels' was him being nonbinary,please be fucking serious)and have a huge mean edge to him or either a caretaker to the Spiderband with no personality and stories of his own and Gwen is expected to be a 'normal' straight girlfriend-Hence all the emphasis put on her being a girl and Miles a boy even when it dosen't fit-including the toxicity frequent in white ones with black boyfriends specifically(that's what 'snowbunny' means btw)and her experiences as a friendless abuse victim who's trans and was kicked out by her cop dad for doing activism isn't something that you can ignore,because GWEN can't ignore it either and neither can Hobie with his own lived antiblackness and adultification that are inherently intertwined with eachother

Gwen wasn't written to be a stereotypical hashtag quirky cis white girl with no real problems besides wanting the guy to like her back,Gwen was CANONICALLY written as a usual TRANS girl and those are absolutely different because i known both closely and she reminds me infinitely more of tgirls who're pastel softgirls for gender validation instead of white woman fragility and the only reason her and Margo weren't a trio with Hobie pre-Miles is the same reason Peter B didn't come with Gwen to visit Miles and it's that writers wanted to isolate them from eachother to emphasize Ghostflower as if they didn't pull it off just fine in the first movie and when the only weak points in the second one are FROM them doing that and if you think about it for 5 seconds you'd realize that Margo and her have every reason to love eachother so much and hang out.And Hobie has plenty of interesting traits and potential even without his comics lore and he never shows interest in sex-Rightfully so,because this is a fucking children's franchise!!!-and any 'vibes' adult Hobie bullshitters got was them being creeps who can't turn off horny mode and you can just say you don't ship Ghostpunk and Punkflower instead of making a fool of yourself by denying how much mutual romantic interest and chemistry Hobie has with Gwen and Miles

And y'all WILDIN' if you actually think Hobie's Team Dad status to the Spiderband is something that takes zero toll on him but i know for a fact it eventually does and he tries to hide it because he feels guilty but they find out and let him breakdown and take care of him too starting from then on because he's not their ACTUAL Dad,he's a 17 year old and he's their best friend and that's what best friends DO.Gwen ain't a pick me either,she's a trans legend who didn't magically turn cis when she started passing contrary to how y'all think transfemininity work and Hobie didn't 'adopt' her,him taking her in was intersectionality and solidarity between black people and trans women which has an extremely important history in punk culture and deadass one of the first thing's i learned when i started my research after i decided to go pastel punk.You all look dumb as hell with these janky ass takes,especially those random hate comments i'm always seeing on Hobie x Spiderband posts and the defenses towards the cisfeminization of Gwen and don't even get me started on the Switfie allegations as if Hobie isn't obviously a The Cure fan and Gwen a Tv Girl one,and if you want minority characters to be written offensively with no depth so bad,go back to watching Danny Phantom and Miraculous Ladybug and leave Hobs and Gwendy tf alone!!!!!

[cyber-corp]

2023: The year of all time

This felt like the first year post-COVID where things really kicked into high gear for me personally. My new year's resolution was that I would go out and have fun for once.

And had fun I did.

I did some voicework reading for a story podcast, I went to a bunch of amazing concerts (nothing beats seeing Weird Al for my birthday!), and I sorted out a bunch of RL stuff and put a neat little bow on it. Thank goodness.

But fuck all that sappy shit: Here's a small collection of things I really enjoyed this year!

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse: An excellent sequel to a seemingly unfollow-uppable first film. Takes everything from ITSV, and amps it up to twenty with a stunning visual style, a sonically fitting soundtrack, and a meta-commentary on the nature of Spider-Man's character and whether they really deserve all the tragedy thrown at them.

Aunty Donna's Coffee Cafe: The guys who made Pud did another show, this time with funding from the Australian Government! While stripped back in its setting, they continue to provide the same stupid bullshit that put me into laughing fits as they did with their Netflix show. Haven't they done well.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off: I think when people heard about "An animated Scott Pilgrim show with the live-action cast and Edgar Wright producing", they did not expect "A proper dissection of Ramona Flowers' character and her motivations, as well as her own journey of forgiving the Evil Exes. Also lots of yaoi." Scott Pilgrim continues to dominate as the premier "guy learns not to be a shithead" franchise.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Live in Accor Stadium: The Peppers prove their pertained power as performers by playing the purest psalms in their prospectus from the past 35 years (eugh, what a mouthful). Flea came out, did a 30-second handstand, waved and said hello to the moon and then got up some people littering in the crowd. Their life is more than just a read-through.

Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You: I had absolutely no clue who Caroline was before I listened to this album. I now realise that she might just be the person that pop needs right now. A soaring collection of songs destined to become classics down the line, like a greatest hits compilation that doesn't exist. We're all on Caroline's island, and we ain't leaving.

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk: I kept my eye on this game as it was developing, and it was absolutely worth it to see it come through in the end. Satisfying gameplay that requires you to learn how to combo to progress, an addicting artstyle inspired by Y2K, and the soundtrack. Holy fuck the soundtrack. I just can't get enuf.

Weird Al Yankovic - TUROTRSIIIVT: Man, what a title. Emu Phillips come out swinging with jokes I did not expect, and then Weird Al comes out aggressively swinging, with all the songs you don't know him for. He then did a polka melody of his parodies, did a ritual halfway through, and then ended the concert on a high note. Only the best from Strange Alfred.

Doctor Who 2023 Specials: That bastard David Tennant returning led me down the rabbit hole known as watching Doctor Who, and did it ever pay off more than these specials. A trans woman saves the day and the Doctor realises he's bi, black, and needs therapy. A magnificent close on a chapter of one of the greatest sci-fis ever, and a bright step into the future.

The Hyperfixation of the Year award goes to none other than

Homestuck, everyone's favourite webcomic! Everyone's.

And I think that's partly because I joined this website to begin with. I probably say this all the time, but leaving Reddit was probably the best decision I could have made at that time. As much as I reminisce, the communities I was in began to get a little stale. Same jokes, same shitposts, a different day. Tumblr in some strange way, is not that. It feels less like a big communal website and more like a collection of small towns spread across a large spot of land. Calm and village-like, you know?

So to all my mutuals, my followers, to the people that liked and reboggled my stinky posts, to all that offered mealworms and crickets in my askbox, thank you. "Gecko Boy" might just be a silly lil joke in the grand scheme of things, but it's a fun joke to play into.

Whatever comes next year, I know I've got the energy to keep going. Have a good 2024 everybody. <3

[cybertroniannugget]

Pangea and mt Vesuvius

Not what I originally intended to post here, as I'm writing some spice at the moment but THIS is what my mind was occupied with all freaking day... The whole desaster takes place somewhere in the first movie or between 1 and two. Some details are changed up Which I did on purpose. I know all the movies from start to finish because the hyperfixations are hyperfixating real hard right now.

This is just a random story of how I get idk let's say teleported into the bayverse movies and how I'd probably handle that.

While I sprinkled in a bit more confidence than I actually got, I think it's an accurate representation of what kind of person I am: always cracking jokes, overthinking EVERYTHING, random useless knowledge that turns out to be somewhat useful.

About this fic: sfw, implied romance with OP, trans ftm character, no reader just Alex, confused Autobots they still need to learn so much about earth and everything, I also don't know okay?

This is just me struggling while simping hard for Optimus.

But we still ain't know what fucked up big M's navigation system when he crashed. Infact, why are all of our navigation systems useless here?! ", Jazz adressed, arms crossed over his chassis. "We all be getting lost all the time.

"I think I know why"

Oh please, why did I speak up just now...

All optics and eyes were fixed on me as I said that, making me immediately regret opening my mouth in the first place but here we are now.

"What? Maybe your systems think you're on Pangea.", I said, taking in the same position as Jazz by crossing my arms over my chest.

Optimus leaned closer, one servo on the railing, blue optics studying me thoroughly as to look for any signs of lie in my attitude.

"Pangea? May you elaborate?"

Hearing this deep voice so full of interest made me feel things honestly.

"The supercontinent. Wait, Imma show you."

I take out my phone, careful not to reveal the background, because I couldn't find the time to change it yet.

"Here, this is earth today. You see everything, Europe, Asia, South and North America, Autralia, Greenland and all the islands in the oceans."

"And this is Pangea, it broke apart into the continents as we know them today about 200 million years ago. This is probably what Megatron had in mind. See? When you look at a map of earth today you might think, if you turn south America around and snug it up to north America, they fit like a puzzle. It's because they were together as part of the supercontinent. Or push it up to Africa, same thing. Just squish it all together"

"That human is incredibly well educated.", Ratchet chimed in.

"That human has a name and thank you."

"But why did that happen? It makes no sense.", Ironhide complained, lifting one servo as to show his frustration in what I just said.

"If I may...", I look at Lennox, awaiting some kind of approval to continue. He nods and so I proceed with my explanation.

"Well, I don't know how to explain it scientifically, but I'll try to make it understandable."

Optimus nods, listening carefully. How do these highly educated space robots not know about that? But who am I to judge, they aren't from here so I can't expect them to know everything about earth.

"I think it probably started because of something called mantle convection. That means the heat from earth's interior rises up to the hardened crust. That caused it to break open, creating a volcanic rift zone. The cracks went further, the tectonic plates drifted apart. The rifts filled with water over time and while the plates drifted farther away, the oceans were formed. Or something like that I don't know but today we've got 6 continents."

Always undermining everything I say, great job on trying to act confident...

"And Greenland, I don't discriminate.", I added as some people eyed me.

"But I don't know if Pangea is what your systems used as the base to calculate. There were other tectonic combinations even before that, but it's a wild guess I'd say. I am certain it was one of them."

As I was explaining, Optimus' gaze changed to a warmer tone and I could feel my pulse rise to my ears. He was just so beautiful, and seeing him for the first time in person made my heart flutter uncontrollably. I wish I could tell him how I feel,

But this is real. No scenarios, no daydreaming or fanfiction. It was as real as it could get. Damn it, I wanted to shift here, not get teleported or whatever caused me to end up here with all of them. I hope we can atleast become friends. No need to get my hopes up though.

"Alexander?"

The baritone voice of the Prime pulled me out of my thoughts about him.

"Hm?"

"What kind of heat were you talking about?"

"Oh that. Well, starting at earth's core, it's liquid magma. It's really hot, like 5.200 Celsius hot. 9.000 something Fahrenheit for the Americans here..."

This was met with laughter and I continued with my lesson or whatever you might wanna call it I don't care, I'm struggling here okay?

"The further you go up, the 'cooler' it gets.", I say, underlining the word cooler with my hands in a joking matter.

"They probably got fancy scientific names but don't ask me which. Anyways shit's really hot. And it's what shoots up from volcanoes.", I finish as I look into a round of confused optics and a few tilted helms.

"Volcanoes? When tectonic plates crush against each other, or built up pressure is released, no?"

They all look at eachother, chuckling coming from my fellow humans around me.

"Okay here, that's mt vesuvius, big ass volcano."

"Sometimes these mfs shoot lava from this hole up there, pretty fascinating and scary at the same time.. It looks like this.", I add as they look at the pictures, not knowing whether to be amazed or afraid.

"The glowing stuff you see here is the lava. When it's still underneath the crust it's called magma."

"Are there many on earth?"

"Yup, don't get too close."

Optimus' optics widen at that statement of mine

"Don't worry bossbot, not on this island. The closest from here is next to Madagascar, Africa. Unless you decide to swim a few rounds up there there's no need to get worried."

The Prime relaxes, shoulders dropping while optics still focused on me.

Why is he looking at me like that? I mean I ain't complaining but if he continues like that Imma internally combust.

"You explain everything so well Alexander."

"Please, call me Alex. Alexander seems so long."

The Prime nods understandingly. "Very well then, Alex."

Oh god make it stop. I love you so much Optimus please...!

"His heart rate just shot up exponentially.", Ratchet mentioned and it was right then and there that I wanted to vanish, dissappear, sink into the ground, never to be seen again.

"Haha yeah, chronic Tachycardia, no need to worry."

That was a lie. Yes, my pulse is through the roof right now, but I've got no heart disease.

As I was met with confusion from every bot except Ratchet I explained before any questions could be asked.

"It's a general term to describe an elevated heartrate. You know, the thing in a human's chest that pumps blood through our body."

"Blood?"

"Oh come on. Okay, well then I can explain that to you guys later. And answer any questions you have as it seems no one else here cares about your education on earth and it's inhabitants.", I say grumpily, looking at Lennox, who raised his hands in defeat.

"I can see us becoming friends Alex.", Jazz laughed.

"Looking forward to it!", I said, pointing fingerguns at the silver bot, which is met with more laughter.

"Okay, class is over, what are we gonna do now?", Ironhide asks into the round of bots and humans.

I just shrug, looking at Optimus, who was still looking at me. But when I looked at him, he quickly looked away to Ironhide.

Cutie~

"Alex seems to know so much, why not ask her?."

That statement of a bystanding soldier was met with a glare from Optimus.

"Alex is a he, you better make sure to remember that!"

They went to protest, but Optimus wouldn't let them. "Unless you wish to get what humans call fired."

Oh shit he's really mad...

"I will make sure of that if you continue your unreasonable behavior."

As he said that I could swear I saw the soldier shrink right then and there infront of my own two eyes.

He looks at everyone. "This counts for everyone here. You will respect Alex."

Oh god, he's standing up for me I can't please marry me Optimus, like right now!

"Okay, lessons aside.", Epps put a hand on my shoulder, smiling. "You were great by the way. I think we can use that for good."

He looked between everyone, a stern expression replacing the warm smile, hand leaving my shoulder. "As much as of a crucial hint this is, we can't know for sure what's exactly causing the malfunction. Better dig people."

True honestly, but HOW is anyone supposed to figure it out without cutting someone open? Megs maybe...?!

"Something's on your mind again, I can see that.", Bumblebee said with snippets over the radio.

"What, me?! It's nothing."

"Nothing?!", Jazz protested. "You just gave us the best clue we could ask for. I'm no Optimus Prime but I can say that I wanna hear ya out my man."

He looks up at Optimus, who was looking at me again after listening to his lieutenant.

"I must say, that you have given us great insight on your mental capabilities Alex."

He leans closer and it took everything of the mental capabilities he just mentioned to not kiss him right here right now.

"Well uh, it's just some kind of impulsive thought. You know, the ones you can't really control...",I said nervously, one hand behind my neck, avoiding everyone's gaze.

But he didn't budge, only blinking once while awaiting an answer.

"Okay, you're not budging I see. Fine."

Taking a deep breath and regretting every life choice I had made up until that point, I went on. "Look, I don't know anything about Cybertronian culture and how things are handled. Especially this right here. Us humans, we always wanna know what exactly caused certain events. For example death here. So we came up with analyzing the body of the dead by cutting them open and stuff, it's called autopsy. Maybe, just maybe we could find something. I know Megatron ain't dead but he's in some sort of... Stasis? Someone could check his navigation system and maybe find the cause for the disruption."

I lower my shoulders, trying to be as small as I possibly could infront of Optimus, who's gaze I couldn't quite interpret.

"On Cybertron, there is quite a similar practise."

"So you're saying it's worth a shot, Prime?", Ironhide asks, unsure of what to think of the situation. "But he's not dead, as Alexander pointed out correctly.", Ratchet added.

Optimus turned around to face his Autobots.

"This may be our only chance. We must take it. For the sake of both worlds. This war has been going on for so long, we cannot let this hold us down. And now it seems there is a way to find out why this is happening. We will fix it, together."

Now it was on Lennox to speak up again.

"So we gon' dissect Megatron? I'm all in honestly. That fucker did enough damage."

My eyes widen at that. "They're not gonna kill him!" Unsure of the righteousness of what I just said I looked at Optimus, who nodded.

"See? They're just gonna take out the navigation system and leave."

"Ooh, big M is gonna be SO mad when he finds out."

"He won't.", Optimus retorted with an absolute certainty in his voice.

"Alright then, it's settled. Prepare people and gather as much information as possible for this mission and await any orders from Big O!"

And with that final order of Lennox the soldiers scattered around, leaving immediately.

Okay great, I'm gonna go be useless again wohoo.

"Alex?"

I look toward the sound of the voice I already grew to cherish. "I know, I know. I ain't accompanying you. I'd die if I did, already know that."

The Prime nods.

"I am glad you understand."

I love you so much I wish I could tell you...

As he remained standing there I grew nervous, fidgeting with the strings of my hoodie.

"Is there something you need?"

"Wha- me? No! Just... go be a hero.

You know you're good at it."

I clear my throat, pretty sure Optimus could hear my pulse. "But remember to take a break sometimes. I always see you up and about."

Did I overstep? I knew it. Chance blown. Goodbye earth. No romance.

"I highly appreciate your concern Alex."

He's always saying my name help. Is he just being polite or what does this mean?!

"There is this human saying. What was it again? I grab it with my heart...?"

Please he's so cute I can't~

"I'll take it to heart was it probably. It means to honor someone's wishes as you see them important."

He tilts his helm in question. "The person or the wish?"

That is when I think all the 5 liters of blood inside my body went up to my face.

Keep calm, stay cool Alex. Don't embarrass yourself.

"It's up to the person saying that."

Whatever higher power there is, please help me!

"You deem my wellbeing as important and so do I"

Phew, that was close...

"Can it be both?"

WHAT

"Eh, sure. There's always room for interpretation."

I guess...?

What has my life come to? They probably think I'm a know it all person. I gotta keep my damn mouth shut from now on.

"Very well then Alex, I look forward to working with you."

I only nod, trying not to get lost in those beautiful blue optics.

"I'm sure it's gonna be great Optimus!"

Unless I unsubscribe from life because a Deception squishes me...

[underestimated-heroine]

sure this has been said before and said better, but we get into dicey territory talking about romantic/sexual preferences--or "types"--a lot of the time because...well firstly, the subject is obviously intensely personal, but also because quite frequently what's happening isn't:

someone has a preference/type

they are hated for it.

but instead:

someone has a preference/type

they go around talking about it in inappropriate settings and in ways that are hurtful; badgering people and even "testing" them (ex. demanding to know if they're "bad" for not liking [x])

people are disgusted, hurt by them, wary of them...and well, yeah, maybe hate them (especially when systemic oppression plays such a significant role in influencing one's "type.")

to me the most revealing element of this is the power dynamics that are almost always at play; people only get away with it safely if they're "type"-badgering one way...and it ain't up. it reminds me of a well-spotted maxim i read about here the other day:

I’m especially interested in how people police each other’s reactions, and how the accumulation of that policing at the individual and societal level leads us to start policing our own, with disastrous results. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The “national pastime” in the USA isn’t baseball, it’s debating exactly how much other people are allowed to react to something that hurts and upsets them. There’s almost a formula in play, where, the more power I have (or assume I have) relative to you, the more I expect you to keep your reactions to the things I do to you to a decorous mumble that I can safely ignore without having to change anything about myself (but also, the louder I will yell about how “dramatic” and “over-sensitive” you are). 

women can tell you they absolutely don't safely get away with saying they prefer certain things in men. no matter how carefully or how long they avoid hurting anyone, giving the truth demanded of them will very likely lead to anger, manipulation tactics, and quite possibly abuse and violence.

trans women not being considered "allowed" to be "picky" is a major vehicle of transmisogynistic abuse. this is how and why so many trans women are preyed on by violent men. "they're just grateful for anything, "they'll do anything to please", "nothing's off limits"...these are common fallback lines of the transmysoginistic predator. a trans woman who defies this by rejecting someone for not being her type, no matter how nicely, is in a very scary position.

we hear white people say they're "not into black people" all the time. not only is it much more commonly said and accepted than when black folks say they don't want to date white people, but white people are incredibly eager to condemn black preferences overall, barging in on discussions which are really intracommunal.

and radfems use "type"-badgering to "prove" the "men" (trans women) who get angry and upset at them for doing this are "violent misogynists", that "maleness" is violence, and to indoctrinate each other. stories of the angry reactions their "type"-badgering got, screenshots from lgbtq+ spaces where people "ganged up on them" for saying they don't date trans women (usually they also said something along the lines of "i can tell when they're trans") are passed around in radfem spaces as Evidence that the Shadow of Maleness is infiltrating womanhood and preying on them...

...yet they're the ones invoking the maxim.

and sure enough, they are not going to cishet male-dominated spaces to do so. they are "type"-badgering specifically in queer/trans-inclusive spaces. functionally, it is nothing more than reactionary maintenance of a power structure which benefits them, and a bid to provide depth to the sense/fear of victimhood they've externalized and phenomenalized (this is a big part of why we say just don't engage.)

these are just a few examples, obviously. the last one is a good chunk of the reason i really made this post. because despite the fact that i'm sure most of us feel all this should go without saying, or can be shortened to "don't be an asshole", i really think it's relevant enough to the conversation about transphobia and exclusionism in leftist & queer spaces that it does need to be addressed, and probably more often.

[coffeewritesfiction]

A Meeting at the Sow's Ear - a Cthulhu Mythos Short Story

"Evening to you, too, Mr. O'Tipp," I said and I felt the tightness of my words on my tongue.  Nathan O'Tipp smiled wider. He looks like a fine man until he smiles. Looks like he should be wandering a Hollywood studio, him with his perfect fair skin and his nice suits. But when he smiles, it stretches too wide, and his eyes have got a shine to them that I've never seen anyone else have. Even when the darkness hides everything else, I see his eyes, almost the same shade as my own. No, there's not a drop of human or humanity in him. I hope he doesn't know I know. "Come out of the dark, Harbinger," he said. "Let me get a better look at you. You are such a treasure to me, I can't let anyone else break you."

Part of the Pharaoh Syndicate Investigations series - a reupload with some edits

CW: blood, discussions of homicide, Prohibition and all that implies, body horror, mild trans/homophobia early on,

Arkham, 1931

Overhead the stars walked the sky like restless strangers, and the fat moon lounged back and watched us all. But it’d missed the fun. Before sunset, I shot two people for the contents of a dirty old bag. Now I walked with that bag down the street to Dad's house. No idea who's Dad he is. He may give me an allowance, but he sure ain't no family of mine.

From five houses down I heard it, one of the favored songbirds singing like it was still 1926. Closer I got, the reason why I heard her became obvious - they’d opened half the windows on the Sow’s Ear. No point hiding it from the coppers anymore. The boss owned them too.

Part of the ‘contract’ with my old boss and the new one took my name. Like the new boss said, I didn't need it anymore. I liked that name. I chose that name. I still use it with one single person. But for everyone else, I'm the Harbinger. And that means I’m whoever the boss wants me to be.

He don't know about this, so don't let me catch you calling me shit like Gumshoe or Dick Dickless. I get enough of that bull from my coworkers. If you wanna call me anything, call me by my real name.

My name was Lazarus, once. I'm 23 years old, pretty sure. I was born a woman. Not long ago, I was an investigator at Keller and Queens Detective Agency. Now I serve a monster pretending to be human. I don't think he knows I know that. I hope he doesn’t know I know that.

There are two speakeasies in town, and until I got my new job, I'd never been to either of them. I was a good citizen once upon a time. One of the speakeasies is run by a cult. The other is a cult. I'll let you guess which one I go to. Only real difference is who's at the center of it anyway.

The Sow's Ear is the center of the boss's operations in a part of Arkham nice people like to forget about. Pretty sure he lives above it. So what? Times are hard. Not a bad place to live anyway. Cute little spot, two stories, looks like all the others in town. Customers come in through the back, employees in the front. Somebody put a sign up for the Women's Christian Temperance Movement by the front door years ago. Boss must've thought it was funny. Now it's as worn and dirty as everything else in the city.

Adds to the charm, I guess.

I got one solid knock in on the door before it cracked open, and two glaring eyes met my own.

"What's the password?" The man spat out.

This was the dumbest part of the whole thing. He knew who I was, and I knew who he was. But old Lyman didn't like me much, and he took every opportunity to try and screw me over.

With a huff, I let the words out.

"Kynyarle keh-urak ghottu."

No, I don't know what that means either.

Lyman stared at me. He pulled away from the door.

"Tell Mr. O'Tipp his dyke is back," he said to someone on the other side.

The door swung open. I caught a glimpse of Lyman's back vanishing into the bar. I ground my teeth. Some men take it real personal, when you don't stick between the lines. I told myself again, I'll get him back for all the shit he'd put me through.

But the bag.

I closed the door behind me, adjusted my sweaty grip on my cargo. The stairs sat right in front of the door. Up I went into the maw.

Always felt like the steps were gonna collapse under me, with how they creaked and groaned underfoot. I go up and down them least once a week, mostly more, but the old wood hated me like everybody else. Not a single fucking picture hung on the wall to distract me, either.

What I really hate? The fact it's on purpose. The fact the bastard didn't need any message sent saying I was here. The fact he had my footsteps memorized the very first day we met.

I won't let him get to me, I said to myself, I lied to myself.

At the top of the stairs he has a velvet curtain hiding his little home away from home. Expensive, purple, golden gild and soft under my tired hand. I lifted it aside and walked into the shadows waiting for me. Heard the music nice and loud now, a voice deep and sweet blessing my ears. Not from the hallway in front of me, that led to his office. It came from the right. From the balcony that overlooked the speakeasy below. 

Two golden cats in the antique Egyptian style stood by on either side of the entry. Framing the view, more purple curtains, held back by golden chains. Between them, looking out over the dancing, thriving crowd… him.

As I watched him, me in the shadows and him in the light, he looked over his shoulder at me, and smiled.

"My personal investigator returns," he said. He folded his arms behind his back, took a step forward as he turned all the way to face me. "Once again you've cheated death, haven't you?"

I set my jaw, didn't look down where his eyes settled on my body. Didn't have time to wash out the blood before I headed here. Didn't want to tell him how much of that blood was mine.

"Evening to you, too, Mr. O'Tipp," I said and I felt the tightness of my words on my tongue. 

Nathan O'Tipp smiled wider. He looks like a fine man until he smiles. Looks like he should be wandering a Hollywood studio, him with his perfect fair skin and his nice suits. But when he smiles, it stretches too wide, and his eyes have got a shine to them that I've never seen anyone else have. Even when the darkness hides everything else, I see his eyes, almost the same shade as my own. No, there's not a drop of human or humanity in him. I hope he doesn't know I know.

"Come out of the dark, Harbinger," he said. "Let me get a better look at you. You are such a treasure to me, I can't let anyone else break you."

I ground my teeth, but didn't hesitate. Oh, I knew from experience what happened if you hesitated. Over the music I heard my shoes click on the tile. I walked to him and watched his smile grow even wider.

"That's my boy," he said. His hand gestured to the view beyond his balcony. "What a lovely night, isn't it? Beautiful summer, with all her life and bounty, rejoicing in her brilliance as she has for centuries."

Over the railing, there lay a different world. A little softer, a little dimmer, the glitz and gems a touch tarnished, but still beautiful like the dresses on the ladies. People dancing and gambling and kissing and drinking, like the world wasn't dying slow beyond these walls. 

God, the people, it caught me dead even in that moment. More shades of skin filled the room than I had ever seen before coming to this city. I thought I was more sophisticated than people wanted to believe, when I left that miserable place. Thought I'd impress people with how much I knew even if I was from Alabama. But nothing like this existed back there. The police would rather burn the whole place down with everyone inside than let white and black blend together. I guess I thought the whole country was like that, whether I liked it or not.

But Arkham was different. Arkham was… better. It sure taught me a lot of lessons. Biggest one is, I don't know as much as I think.

"It is lovely, sir," I said. At the sound of the last word, my grip tightened on the bag.

In the light his eyes did not quite shine but something dark and cruel glowed through his expression.

"I do love how you call me that," he said. He said, like I had any choice but to do so. "It's so much better than your previous defiance."

He must have seen how I fought the rage down, how my fists shook and trembled the bag. He must have, I saw it in the dark twist of his smile.

I wasn't just a detective back at the old agency. I was in charge of the entire investigation into O'Tipp and his tricks. I hunted him, and he hunted me. So many nights I spent on him, staking out his territory, talking to witnesses, finding the clues that could unlock whatever terrible dirty secrets he held.

And I lost. I didn't even know it was a game, that I was never a threat to him, that he was enjoying the hunt. I lost and he won, he won me and my sister, too. Now I'm gonna be working for this bastard for the rest of my life.

And I know, he's going to enjoy every second of it.

Mr. O'Tipp gestured with a finger, guiding me away from the view below. I watched the muscles of his face tighten with hunger or anticipation as he looked at the bag in my hand.

"How much did it cost?" He stepped into the shadows, his long fingers tracing the dangling chains on the wall.

I looked away from him. O'Tipp didn't mean cash.

"Two." I mumbled the word. 

"Oh?" He glanced back at me. 

Details. He wanted details. I forced myself to inhale. 

"The first bled out, I think." I couldn't have saved the poor bastard even if I knew how. "Took a bullet to the chest." Took my bullet to the chest. "The other was guarding… It." Nausea curled inside my stomach. It. The thing in the bag. "I shot him in the back of the head. Like you told me to."

"Good boy," O'Tipp said, and the light cast a shadow on his face, like the skin were paper and the flesh were a mask. "Did you look into the bag?"

I closed my eyes. I couldn't force the memory down. How my fingers curled around the box-like shape within the burlap, only for my flesh to sink into something cold and beating like a pulse beneath them.

"No, sir," I said

"But you're sure it's the right thing?" 

I did not open my eyes. I could not handle the thought of seeing the smile I heard. I could not help but think that if I opened my eyes, the face looking at me would not be human anymore.

 "Very much so, sir."

"My dear Harbinger," O'Tipp said, "Where is your curiosity? Wouldn't you like to see what you've brought me?"

Now I opened my eyes, and they opened wider than I wanted them to.

"Definitely not, sir."

He stood in front of the door to his office, smiling at me. I looked at his eyes to fight the thought of too many teeth.

"A pity," O'Tipp said. "It would have been better for you if you'd been willing to… expand your knowledge of the world."

My stomach sank with understanding.

"But!" He beamed at me, like a father gazing proud at his offspring. "That makes it more fun for me. Come on then."

He opened the door. Numb, I followed.

A strange little otherworld, Nathan O'Tipp's office is. A little antique and ancient, a lot of books and papers. Globes on the shelves of bookcases stacked to the ceiling. Star charts papering the exposed walls. Nonsense maps full of nonsense places. The world beyond the window, hidden by the same curtains he used everywhere else, golden tacks pinning down the fabric so not a drop of sunlight could fall inside. Furniture in all types of wood, light, dark, painted, lacquered, raw. 

His empty desk waited for us.

I don't even remember when he took the bag from me. He rested it on the desk, and the fabric sunk way, way down. The same boxy shape, thick as my wrist, and yet the fabric darkened around the edges of it, wet.

O'Tipp breathed in, and exhaled a light chuckle.

He raised a hand, looked at me. With care, he removed the glove from each finger, one at a time, and let it drop to the floor. 

"Don't look away," he whispered, and I knew that was an order.

His hand rested on the flat surface of the bag, and sank down. The fabric and the thing beneath it shivered like disturbed water. 

My throat locked up. I did not look away.

"Yes," O'Tipp said, eyes locked on the bag. "You’re the real thing, aren't you?" He nodded his head, looked up at me, and I saw it exposed bare to me, the disconnect between what I knew of reality, and what he knew of it.

"Don't," I mumbled.

"I've been waiting years to find this," he said. "And it came into my grasp so easily. I did not even need to negotiate with their god to do it." O'Tipp leaned over the desk towards me. "Dagon will be furious to know I have this. This sick creation, somewhere between science and witchcraft - the creation of a mind as brilliant as our own beloved Keziah Mason!"

"Please let me leave," I thought, I mumbled.

"You are a miracle worker, you know that, boy? You are, undoubtedly, my favorite curse upon this tiny planet. And this book?"

His wet fingers gripped the cord on the bag. With one pull, the bag opened, releasing a smell I've never forgotten. 

"It’s mine now. Mine just as much as you and she are."

Without ceremony or care, O'Tipp snatched the bottom of the bag and upended it. Something green, or something black, something both and neither and iridescent tumbled down. It hit the wood with a crack like a breaking bone, the sick smack of flesh falling from a height it could not survive.

It gurgled like a drowning animal. Water, dark and grimy, bubbled from the open hole of the spine.

And the smell. That goddamn smell. Like the sea became as stagnant as still water. The copper rot of an untreated open wound. Seaweed and fish left dead in the sun and storm.

And my voice shook as I spoke, as I recognized the thing by its shape.

"A book?" I said. "That's it? It's a book?"

O'Tipp pulled his other glove off with his teeth and I could have imagined it but before he tossed it aside, I saw holes in the fabric. Barehanded, he ran his fingers over the cover, and it rippled under his touch.

"A grimoire," he said, stroking the dark, slick surface. "Written by a stranger in a land far more obscure than any on the surface." His smile, his smile, there was nothing I knew of sanity in that smile. He looked to me and his mouth stretched wider.

"Have you ever been to Innsmouth?" He said, and did not wait, because he already knew the answer. "Quaint town with too many secrets. It's up north from here. The whole place was claimed by a cult worshiping a god that lives in the sea, so they say, until the federal agents burned it all down. So they all say. So all you need to know right now.” He tilted his head, the smile staying still. “Look at you, you're so pale. Have you never seen a book before?"

I said nothing. He seemed to like that.

"If you care to believe me," he said, "this-" his fingers tapped the surface of the book, sending waves through the flesh. "Was made from the body of one of those cultists.” He chuckled at me. “Oh, please don't faint, you still have to walk home. Don't be upset." His voice lowered. "This isn't made from a human."

I shouldn't have said it, but I couldn't look away from it. From him.

"Then what is it made of?"

"A Deep One. Skin, cartilage, preserved flesh - no scales, did you notice?"

I shook my head. His expression dripped with sarcastic, amused pity.

"Don't worry, I'll spare you the bookbinding lesson. It's a gruesome thing, so I've heard. But I'll show you one more thing."

Please don't, I thought.

"It still drips with sea water, did you notice?" His hand traced over the lock. A flick of the fingers and without a key, it opened. "But look inside…"

I didn't want to. I did.

The pages, bone white, dark letters of a language I'd never seen before. Bone white pages. Bone dry pages.

"Fascinating, isn't it? What horrors lie in this book, do you think, in that language I have yet to teach you?”

O'Tipp slammed the book shut. I stumbled back, and he laughed.

"Go home, my precious detective," he said. "You've done a wonderful job today. No need to come in for a while. Keziah and I are going to be very busy with my new prize. Enjoy a break - I’ll find you when I need you.”

Despite the way my veins pounded, so loud in my ears I barely heard anything else, I answered him.

"I know, sir."

His gaze hungered. 

"Good boy."

I did not head home quickly. In fact, I did not leave the building quickly. No, I'll tell you the truth: I did not even go down the stairs for a good long while. I stepped from the office, the air chilling on my colorless face, and swayed. My body hit the wall. Somehow I did not fall despite the tremble in my legs, the sickness in my gut.

My eyes closed. I welcomed the dark, my mind not again showing me the hideous thing, the hideous, handsome man I served. The black swallowed me and I breathed in the air, ghosts of tobacco and perfume and alcohol wafting up from the floor below.

Again I thought of myself less than four months before, my bright eyes in the mirror, my determination throbbing within my soul. Again I thought of myself back then, and I thought, what nightmare was I hunting?

The office door opened.

“Oh! You’re still here!” O’Tipp said. “I was afraid I’d have to track you down.”

I did not want to do it. I opened my eyes and shifted towards him. His beaming smile, so paternal, churned my stomach anew.

“I almost forgot,” he said, stepping towards me. “Your allowance.”

His gloveless hand gripped my wrist, his other shoved something into my palm. Damp hands, hands far too warm for this night, far too warm for what he’d been handling.

“You’ve done excellent work today, my boy.” O’Tipp patted my cheek. “I’m proud of you.”

I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t have a choice but to speak.

“Thank you sir,” I whispered.

As his eyes narrowed and his smile darkened, I almost thought - I don’t know what I thought. But he said nothing more. He stepped away, his hand lingering on my skin, and that was the last thing I truly knew before his office door slammed shut.

I could have left then, when my legs recovered their strength. I could have fled, and run down the street, and never looked back. And yet within my disjointed soul, I understood something almost instinctive - I should not be alone right now, not after that.

My feet carried me to the balcony. I sat on the floor, and watched the people below.

To be part of society and yet apart from it. Yes, I knew that very well, as my cruel grandparents taught me, as I knew now as a different kind of man. A separation from humanity, a barrier put between me and anyone that could have, in another life, loved me. Yes, I understood that. Perhaps it helped me understand them.

How happy they all were, down there. How sweet the woman, a different one now, sang her songs of love and loss. How the people moved between tables, greeting friends. How they clinked their fancy drinks in fancier glasses together. 

A sample of humanity, together. All those colors of clothes and hair and skin, together. Like the world beyond did not exist, like there was not an even bigger nightmare lurking at the edges of the horrors we all pretended not to think about.

A Deep One. A living thing that was not human. Something below the surface of the ocean waves. A god. A cult - another damned cult, of course there would be. Could I not escape them? A small amount of distance allowed me to think of it more. So long as I did not picture the book, I could wonder about it. What was a Deep One? What kind of a life did a thing like that have? Did it have a family? Did it have friends? Did it feel love, as humans did?

Was it still alive, even as a book?

In my soul, I ached. Not for the dead, but for me, taken from my home just as the book was.

My gaze drifted, my thoughts eased to a crawl. Down there, down on the floor, I saw him. I did not truly understand what I saw, but I did, I saw him, and he saw me. I let myself blink, focus, in time to see his lips curl into a smile. Dark skin, red clothes, sharp eyes.

He knew me. I knew him. No one else might understand. No one else could understand, I think, that little jolt of electricity that surged within me. That little taste of… hope, perhaps. He knew me, he knew of me, I knew him, knew of him. That brilliant man with his glittering grin. We were both born women. We were both skilled in our fields despite our ages. We were both connected to this nightmare in ways others could not understand. 

I tilted my hat to him. He raised his glass to me.

As he disappeared into the crowd, I left.

The city struggled through the night, and the old blood had wrecked my vest. I buttoned up my jacket over it. I’d survived another mission, somehow, by that monster I am bound to serve. There’s a lot of ways to die in this town, and not all of them involve a bullet.

I was so tired of thinking about that. That money he gave me rested heavy in my pocket.

Little detour and then, to home I went. To the Witch House, where I’d lived since arriving in Arkham. O’Tipp bought it too, along with me. Sure enough, on that battered old porch, they waited for me. The old gate creaked as I shoved it open. A set of bright eyes behind round glasses looked up from the book she’d been reading aloud. Sadie, my partner in crime, my sister in soul, Sadie, jumped from her chair.

“Lazarus!” Her arms wrapped around me and I hugged her tight right back, and the grin that formed threatened to split my face in two. “You’re alright!”

Couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. 

“Well, mostly,” I said. 

On the porch, the other woman hadn’t moved, rocking back and forth in her chair. Her hands in her lap, her hair fallen past the bandages over her eyes, her focus all on me. She smiled, and I could taste the hope that radiated from her.

“I got a surprise for you guys,” I said, and reached into my pocket.

I can imagine what O’Tipp would say, spending so much of my allowance on candy like a child. But what did I care about his thoughts? It was more than a snack for my two favorite girls, it was an offering for their happiness. For my happiness. What was the point of going through this nightmare, if you couldn’t be happy every now and then?

Overhead the fat moon sat and watched it all. I settled into one of the chairs, let myself relax for the first time since the sun rose that morning. Soon, the others who lived in this ancient building would return, and we all could rest for the first time in hours. But underneath the sound of the summer night and my sister’s voice, I heard the pages turning.

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[xxfangirl365xx]

Question: "What is a day you'll never forget?"

Ghoul's answer: The Day we met Show Pony

NOTE: Written in my wattpad a few months ago, i posted Jet's and Kobra's here so here is Ghoulie's (:

Mine predates all of the other guys' stories and it's kinda sappy but why not. Mine was the day I met my fellow prankster Show Pony. Despite popular belief they didn't just roll up and start hanging around with us.

The four of us ( Poison, Kobra ,Jet and I) had been in the zones about a year and had pretty well adjusted to life out in the middle of nowhere. We were on patrol by ourselves, one of the first times Dr.D let us do that alone. Basically we got to drive around all day, nothing usually ever happened. On this day in particular we were on our way home and spotted something off in the distance...Dracs? Possibly. We drew out ray guns and headed over only to be met with a horrifying scene of three people, all fairly young, seemingly dead.

"Dear Destroya" Poison remarked observing the sad scene

They definitely had just escaped the city and made it pretty far into the zones...unfortunately they were unarmed and didn't stand much of a chance.

Jet went to the three and looked to see if by some miracle they were alive. First two were a sad head shake no.

The third person had long dirty tangled black hair and was maybe about 17 years old...about the same age as me. Jet gently grabbed their wrist expecting nothing and were were all shocked when he found a pulse.

" Guys! This one's alive!"

" They're bleeding from somewhere on their head" Kobra noted, hiding behind his brother, scared for who knows what reason.

It's not a secret that I hate blood, I get a paper cut and nearly pass out and the guys make fun of me for it a lot, but this time it didn't bug me, I was much more bothered by the fact this poor kid was now hurt and alone laying next to their dead friends. I wasted no time In gently picking them up and we headed back to the car so we could go back to the diner and hopefully help this kid. I rested their head in my lap to keep them as comfortable as I could on the ride home. I took my vest off and covered them with it because it was getting cold. I felt really bad, you know, I was so lucky to have found a good group to rely on and call my family and I think this made me realize how fortunate I really was. This kid needed a friend and I decided to be that friend.

We got home and I carried their limp body in the diner and laid them on an extra mattress we had.

" YO DR.D" Poison yelled

" What's up boys?" He asked coming into the room a few seconds later ( this was before he hurt his leg)

"We found this wanderer on the route home" Poison explained " Their buddies were dead but they're alive for the time being"

He stood over my shoulder looking at the kid

" Should I call a doctor?" he asked after a second

" Aren't you a doctor?" Kobra asked confused

He laughed, realizing he had never clarified where that title came from

" It's just a name, I ain't got a degree to back it up. I don't know shit about medicine" he continued

" Ohhhhh..." we exclaimed in unison

"I'll call someone" He said leaving the room

I sat next to the kid for a while, just watching the rise and fall of their chest for what seemed like hours until an actual doctor came.

He looked them over before coming to the conclusion they were in perfect health other than a head injury.

" Just keep a close eye on them for the next few days,once they wake up they may be a little out of it but I'm sure they will be okay." He said before him and Dr.D went outside to smoke a cigar and gossip for a while.

" Well, you heard him. I guess they're gonna be alright" Jet said. "Well' I'm gonna go change the tire on the Trans-am, it's got a leak."

" I'll come watch." Poison said , Kobra following right behind his brother

Jet poked his head in the doorway after a second.

"You coming Ghoul?"

" Nah, I'm gonna sit with them." I said

" alright"

I sat for a while enjoying some silence until the kid began to wake up. Of course I had never been in a situation like this before.

I sat next to them and gently moved the hair out of their face.

"Ugghhh-shit" they mumbled groggily

'"Uhhh...Um.." what are you supposed to say in this situation?! " He-y?"

They looked over at me and the first they they said...I kid you not was

" Why do you have a bee on your sleeve?"

I looked at my shirt sleeve..I do have a bee on my shirt. Huh...good observation.

" Who...are you? You look funny." They said again

" I'm Fun ghoul, I'm Killjoy." I explained " what's your name?" I asked, unsure if they could answer that question. To my surprise they answered rather quick

" I've been waiting foreverrr for someone to ask me that. My name's Show Pony." They said slurring their speech.

" Nice to meet you, Show Pony... How ya feeling?"

"I dunno" they giggled

"Looks like you hit your head pretty bad huh?"

" I think so" they said continuing to giggle like a crazy person

" What's so funny?" I asked starting to laugh too

" The room's spinning it's like a carnival ride"

" Oh yeah that is fun- do you like carnivals?"

"Yeah...no clowns though"

" Oh you don't like clowns?"

" nu uh they're creepy and smelly...am I smelly? The dessert is gross." They thought for a second before they started crying

" Am I a clown? I'm weird looking and I smell" they said in between tears

I forgot the kind of wack mood swings that happened when you were going through withdrawals from BLI brainwash drugs.

'"Hey, you're not a clown, don't cry" I said, trying to comfort them.

Without a second though I knelt down further and hugged them.

They stopped for a second and were perfectly still.

" I overstepped and made them uncomfortable!" I said in my head " Oh Ghoul you idiot!"

To my surprise they hugged back and quietly whispered

" Thank you"

I spent the rest of the night doing my best to take care of Show Pony and just chatting and giving them a hard time while they tried to tell lame jokes such as this fun one at 2:07 AM

" Hey Ghoul Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

" Boo"

" what?"

" Nooo you're supposed to say boo who!"

" Aww don't cry Pony"

" Your a jerk"

Show Pony became very good friends with us all and impressed Dr.D with their intense knowledge of music and when he started his station he made Show Pony his official helper.

So yeah, I love Pony, they're one of my best friends no matter how annoying they can be, one of my favorite people and a part of my large Zone family.

Anyways that's my story, see ya later

-Fun Ghoul

[americas1suiteheart]

Can you please do a doctor who fanfic, a 10th Doctor x TransMasc!reader please :3 nothing specific in the story other than that, though some fluff would be nice

Why I would be more than happy do write such! I absolutely adore Trans reader stories, its a shame there ain't many, I'm so glad you asked me this though!

________________

Brilliant!

[10th Doctor x Trans-Masc!Reader]

[Summary: After years of traveling with the doctor, you accidentally spout out about how you identify. You had hid it the whole time you'd known him out of fear he'd drop you back off on earth out of disgust. That was the last thing he'd intended on doing.]

[Warnings; 900-some year old age gap (can I count that as a warning?)]

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

You were stupid enough to be messing with a piece of forgin spacecraft basically. You wanted to see what it was linked to, where it came from, and if it was getting any transmission signals.

So you began taking it apart. Yeah, just as I've said; not the smartest thing to do. Suddenly, it began whirring and flashing the white lights it had attached onto the top of it. Odd. Then it began blaring. Oh no. Then came a voice. Shit..

You take a few steps back from the piece of machinery and get your welding gun, protection I guess?

"WHO ARE YOU!? WHAT AM I DOING HERE!?"

The now what you assume is a battle robot or possibly even a life form, starts moving one of what you assume is its arm, and a blue glowing eye-like piece on its head.

Then it points another one of its "arms," up to you, starting to glow in a neon white color, making an awful whirring noise before flickering out and falling off from the body of it.

You were absolutely fascinated. Scared yes, but fascinated nonetheless. "What.. What are you?" I ask, walking closer as I look all around it.

"I AM THE DALEK! TELL ME WHAT DO YOU HAVE ME HELD HERE FOR!?"

This thing is incredible. You'd never heard of a Dalek before, but it surely was something. "I found you, I work in the engineering field and I was trying to see what you were or where you came from. I don't wish to hurt you." You put your welding tool down, seeing that the arm that seemed to be its weapon is no longer attached to it.

"RELEASE ME FROM YOUR CAPTIVITY HUMAN!" It begins rolling towards me, I back up slowly as to not let it get too close.

"Alright, I will but what did you come to earth for. Because surely your not from this planet or possibly even this galaxy, I'd never seen a piece machinery like that."

"WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU THAT!? WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU!?" The Dalek rolls even closer to you, moving its eye up and down as if its examining you.

"Because I haven't done anything to harm you yet, have I? If I wanted to kill you I could have already done it by now." You place your hands up in a defensive manor as it rolls backward.

Suddenly, you hear your door beeps as it opens, you turn your head to the door, revealing two people, one young girl and one man.

"God, not again. Seriously what is it with you science guys and the Daleks." The Girl complains, followed by a chuckle from the man beside her.

The Dalek begins to freak out, blaring and flashing its lights as it looks at the girl and the man, pointing its remaining arm at them and flailing it.

"YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEK! YOU MUST BE DESTROYED!"

What? It knows these people? Why are they enemies?

The man looks at the Dalek and deems it unharmful after looking at its missing arm. "You can't hurt me, you haven't even got your gunstick." The man laughs at the Dalek, getting closer to it. Then he turns to look at you, walking up to you. "You just have the bloody thing roaming around your lab? You know how much harm it could've done if it had its gunstick?"

"Well, it kinda did when I was messing with it." You admit, looking blankly at him.

"Your lucky your still alive you know, I'm telling you Rose, the bunch of you humans are fools sometimes!" He looks at the younger woman that you now know as Rose.

You look at the man dumbfounded, 'you humans'? Was he not a human himself like the Dalek? Was that why he was an enemy?

Rose approaches you, pushing the man to the side, "Hello, I'm Rose Tyler and this is The Doctor. We want to know how you get ahold of the Dalek and if it had caused any sort of mayhem before?" Rose puts her hand out to me to introduce herself and the man.

You reach for Rose's hand, giving it a firm shake as you introduce yourself, "Dr. L/n, and how should I trust you two? The other man is just called 'The Doctor'? No name or anything? And he said 'you humans' as well, how should I trust he's not just som-"

The "Doctor," then cuts me off, "Dr. L/n, I can assure you that you can trust us, we're probably the only ones on this planet that you can trust." The Doctor says, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"I found it in what we thought was an smaller asteroid landing, I found the Dalek mostly unharmed other than a few dents, then I took it into here and started taking it apart. I had no clue what it was really, It hadn't caused any damage and no one knows about it other than me and a colleague that thought it was just some spaceship debris. Would you please get your hand off me?" I explain, then looking down at The Doctor's arms on my shoulders, trying to shrug them off.

The Doctor takes his hands off of me, turning to the Dalek, "Alright.. What should we do about you now." He says, putting his index finder on his cheek in a thinking manor.

"FREE ME!"

"No no, I'm afraid we can't do that. We could kill you and just scrap your battle armor. Though self destruction might be better for y-" You shoot up and stand in front of the Dalek blocking it from The Doctor cuttting him off.

"Why should we kill it? It's already vulnerable being it no longer has its weapon." I look up at him.

"Dr. L/n, we have to kill it. It doesn't even serve a purpose here being the rest of its race is dead. There is no reason for it to fulfill whatever order it was sent here for. This creature doesn't show pity or remorse and will kill anything and anyone in any way that it can once it is able to." The Doctor explains.

You look down at the Dalek and step out of the way between it and The Doctor.

"YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME DR. L/N! YOU ARE NOW AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS!" The Dalek looks at me as it flails its arm about.

---------------------------------------

[Skip because I don't feel like writing a whole death scene for the Dalek]

---------------------------------------

Rose comes up to me and shakes my hand once more, "It was a pleasure to meet you Dr. L/n, though it wasn't one of the best ways to do so I suppose," She lets out a lighthearted chuckle.

"Pleasure to meet you too Ms. Tyler."

The Doctor clears his throat, "Dr. L/n, what experience do you have with extraterrestrial machinery?"

"Well, I've handled quite a bit for a number of years now. I'm usually the person the higher ups hand all that kind of stuff to, why do you ask?" I say, taking my goggles off my face and placing them on the top of my head.

"Brilliant! I was wondering if you would like to travel with me and Rose here." The Doctor's face lights up as he turns to look at Rose.

"He doesn't know how to fix his ship, he just bangs the poor thing with a hammer and calls it a day." Rose giggles as The Doctor looks at her in unamusement.

Traveling with what seems to be an extraterrestrial being that just told another extraterrestrial being to kill itself, and a young girl. Sure that seems completely safe!

"Ship? So you're from space I'm assuming, Doctor?" You furrow your eyebrows.

"Well, yes. But Rose here is a human, you'll have another one of you on it, that is if you choose to go with us, of course, Dr. L/n." The Doctor shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head to the side.

"Alright, I'll go, but what am I going to do about my job? I can't just leave."

"We basically have a time traveling ship, give them a two weeks advance and then you can leave the same day if you go with us." Rose says.

I look at The Doctor and he nods.

"Alright, lead me to your "ship," "

---------------------------------------

Its been years now since you'd first met the two. Now it's just you and The Doctor, as Rose had left a year ago now. You enjoyed your time with her and became good friends with eachother and wished she hadn't left, but you respected her decision.

Rose was the only one you had told about being transgender, she supported you and suggested you tell The Doctor, but pushed it off using excuses such as, "He won't understand it," and, "It wouldn't matter to tell him," but you were scared he was going to call you a freak really.

The reason for this was not just because you were afraid of losing a good friend, but because you had come to fancy him throughout those years.

You walk into the console room due to hearing banging, hoping it wasn't The Doctor trying to "fix," something, yet lo and behold, you find him using a mallet on the poor TARDIS.

"Doctor, if something is wrong with the TARDIS you could just ask me to fix it, you know that." You walk towards him, your arms crossed with a look of unamusement on your face.

The Doctor looks at you and places the mallet down, "Ah, Y/n! Great now you can go and fetch me the sonic screwdriver from the living area, I'd left it there when I was working on something else."

"Doctor, you don't need the sonic screwdriver, or this mallet, to fix this, let me do it." You say, grabbing the bag of your tools to look for the needed things.

"Watch, for stuff like this you only need a bit of electrical tape, wire cutters, and a couple of these wire butt connectors." You say, grabbing one of the faulty wires in the console.

"You splice the wires, taking off about a quarter of an inch, then you place it with the colour corresponding wire, connect in with the butt connector- are you even listening?" You look up at The Doctor to see him looking at your face.

"Yeah, yeah I'm listening don't worry," he says, leaning onto the railing on the console.

"What had I just said then?" You eye The Doctor for a second before going back to your work.

He stayed silent for a second, before saying, "Wires." He shrugs.

You roll your eyes and get back to working on the TARDIS. This wasn't the first time he'd done something like this, but yet, it didn't upset you.

"Y/n, I've wondered about your family. You never talked about them or anything of the such, why's that?"

Your family wasn't the best. After telling them you were transgender the only people that supported you was your dad and most of the family on his side. But everyone else, including your mum and your siblings cut all contact with you right after.

"Oh uh, I don't really talk to them anymore." You say, continuing your work.

"Why?"

Before you could stop yourself from saying anything you would regret, the words flew out from your mouth in desperation to be let out.

The one thing you told yourself you wouldn't do was done. You couldn't take it back or pass it off as a joke, the damage was done.

The Doctor just stayed silent, what appeared to be a look of confusion on his face.

You could've apologized and run off to your respectful room in the TARDIS, but you just sat there staring at him silently. You didn't want to loose more people because of your own choice to be something that you weren't born as.

"Y/n, I'm so glad you told me. Why hadn't you told me sooner?" The Doctor engulfs you into a hug.

Before you knew it you began crying. You'd never been so relieved and happy about something.

"You don't think I'm a freak?" You sputter out, trying your best to make it sound clear.

"No, Y/n I could never. I think your absolutely brilliant! I don't think I could ever have a more brilliant companion, really." He says, grabbing onto the both of your hands.

There was a peaceful moment of silence between the two of you before The Doctor broke it. "Y/n, can I tell you something as well?"

You nod your head.

"I'm in love with you, Dr. L/n." The Doctor says, looking at you as if you were the only thing in the universe, the glow of the TARDIS making his eyes glisten it that gorgeous caramel brown colour you adored.

That's the first time he's called you that since a little while after you two met.

"I love you too, Doctor."

You could see his eyes flick down to your lips before one of his shaky hands reaches for your cheek, he leans in and closes his eyes as he pulls your face closer to his, finally closing the gap between the both of you, placing a gentle but passionate kiss on your lips that lasted a couple of seconds before the both of you pulled away, breaths short.

He looked absolutely gorgeous in that moment, his messy hair sticking up from all directions, a lopsided smile on his face, an a deep blush spread across his freckled face, the TARDIS glow illuminating it.

"You're absolutely brilliant, darling." He says, placing another kiss onto your lips.

The universe had the best intentions for your life and you could never ask for anything better at that very moment.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

Word Count; 2,395

I hope that was a decent enough interpretation of what you wanted. I really like the way that this one turned out! My request book is open! Send any requests you have.

Do not repost any of my work!

[ask-the-rcp-crew]

I feel like you need more rcp on your blog so I’m going to ask the forrrr….silly headcannons! (any character in rcp btw) :3

Yeah I've uh, been lacking on that-

ANYWAYS UHH

Hcs you say? Bout time I redo these!

Starting with least to possibly most:

Jin!

- was raised in a house that would tend to broken vehicles, yet her mother was a bit of a...✨bitch✨ who always had planned for Jin to be exactly like her: running the broomstown rescue team. Well she got what she wanted, yet jin was MUCH nicer than her mother. But that's a story for another time ;3

- she had a brother. Keyword "had". Her little brother whose name was Hendrix died due to neglect from her mother. How did he die exactly? Poison.

- Anyways happy hc now: even if she bickers with helly, she sees him as a sorta little brother. ( =>)

Alr, now Amber

- As I've mentioned before, she can throw syringes at someone pretty easily. She's done it before (by accident!) to helly-

Now, this one may be triggering but I'm sorry :(

- orphan. Why? Basically her family had her put in a "special" school. She had two sisters but that now is only a memory. Why? Well that school had smth bad happen to it: a uh, school shooting.

Anyways happy hc now-

- Loves baking for her and her friends or people she cares about!-

Okay stopping with amber.

Onto Poli!

- Siren go weewoo/j I didn't know what to put here lmao

- Sometimes, he looks after the more "younger" residents if there's anything that comes up with their guardian(s) and takes them for a tour around the rescue station!

- Still, scared of caterpillars :3 (hey, I don't like them either, so he ain't alone/j)

- gets dragged into chaos with Helly sometimes (either willingly because boredom or forcibly-)

- like some people, I hc him to be able to speak korean mostly because I think he was raised in Korea✨

And now Roy (who I actually don't have that much for but screw it✨)

- got taught korean by poli just to mess with the others because why not. (I'll let y'all decide what they talk about✨)

- knows other languages but prefers to stick with English :3

- if a STH show exists in their world, his favorite character would be knuckles (polis favorite would be sonic, helly's favorite is tails and Amy✨)

- Now, if you don't specify a thing your giving him isn't edible, he will immediately eat it. Don't ask why, he just does.

Okay helly time✨

- Asexual son of a bitch/j

- oh and trans :> (FtM?)

- he has a whole bunch of scars from falling and running into things

- honestly, he doesn't care if you use they/them or he/him when referring to him

- as stated before, favorite sonic characters are: Tails, Amy, Silver and Charmy

- surprisingly, likes horror books! And no, they actually don't cause him nightmares-

- surprisingly good at playing Pac-Man and has beat poli's high score multiple times (thats the only thing they can't stand about each other/j)

And that's all of them for now!

Thanks dust :3

- Bread

[anotherrosesthatfell]

E.L.A characters opinion on Starcross

Dream:

"I feels like I spoiled him but Starcross is such a sweetheart! Palette seems dislike Starcross... I hope my children can get along. Starcross really has the potential to be the next heir but of course, Palette deserve the throne."

Cross:

"My adorable baby is adorable <3. My daughter is also adorable. Damn I regret leaving Dream in the past but I am here to redeem myself. Palette is a good child but I hope he stop hating Starcross."

Lux:

"my little brother is a brat but he is very useful and easy to be manipulated... I feel bad for ruining his childhood by making him bully Palette but hey, I need a sidekick. My little brother sure do love me a lot. I honestly don't really trust him to take the throne but oh well, I need to manipulate him until the very end."

Palette:

"Why the fuck I always get evil siblings. My older sister is a bitch, my little brother is a brat! WHAT THE FUCK- I'm sorry for yelling but I am crying honestly. I hate this, I hate everyone. No one wants to leave me the fuck alone. PAPA AND THAT MAN TOO, THEY ARE TOO BLIND!!! I do respect mister Cross but ain't no way I'm calling him my dad."

Swap:

"such an energetic child! I don't like the fact Dream married to Cross but my friend is happier than before... So I guess it's fine."

Hope:

"Oh... Starcross is a wonderful child. Palette seems to hate him a lot, I don't understand why. I am happy for my lord... Oh, am I crying? Sorry, I didn't mean to cry, I am supposed to be happy for him..."

Ink:

"... Wow, Dream really hooked up with Cross after he knows I cheated on him... That's so unexpected. Their son is uhh... I need to say Starcross is a terrible child. I only can meet Palette on his birthday and he always cries to me and begging me to take him in. I wish I could, my son is clearly in pain.. I regret cheating on him, I shouldn't done it. Now my baby is suffering because of my consequence."

Error:

"I pity that blonde... I mean Palette. He once ran away from his home and came to our house. He sobbing on Ink's shoulders and begged her to never let him back again... It's a pitiful sight... So I forced Dream to let Ink take the half custody, after that Palette can only stay with us in weekends. It's not like I care, I just pity him."

Drop:

"I don't like Starcross.. In fact, I hates him a lot. I'm scared of him, he kills my friends and the reason is because they made me cry. It wasn't like that, I incidentally bite my tongue and cries. My friends do tease me about it and he killed them. I'm not even his best friend, I'm scared if I say that he will torment me too.."

Nightmare:

"I am disappointed in Cross. He was my favorite subordinate until he decided to actually fell in love with that bastard. Their child is a toxic positivity but I do enjoy the he spread nasty negativity.."

Killer:

"I know I shouldn't blame a child but I can't help it. He is the reason why my baby die.. Oh Merciless... Why God hate me so much, why he needs to take my babies away from me... Why, why, WHY?!"

Dust:

"Well Swap was right when he said Starcross is a respectful child. He understands immediately why I choose to be trans, it's so sweet of him."

Horror:

"he compliments my cooking... No one ever compliments my cooking before... It's a refreshing feelings. He is also not scared of my look when we first met, he said I look like a badass. What a nice memory."

Crescent:

"He is well mannered and very respectful while praying but Palette doesn't like him. Of course, if Palette doesn't like someone, it's obvious that the person he dislike is a major problem."

Merciless (if he is still alive):

"Ah... Brother of Lux. He is energetic... I am thankful he keeps my company and tells me stories..."

Angst (if he is still alive):

"Uhm... He is well mannered, I like hearing his stories. I am thankful for his sister for saving my little brother. That day, if she didn't broke into the castle... Merciless probably already be dead... I'm so thankful, I don't know how to express my gratitude but I support those two siblings."

Nim:

"I was thinking to make him the protagonist instead of Palette but my son wants him to sided with the antagonist. Oh well, as long it entertains me."

Passive Nightmare:

"I like to have pure blood related siblings to be in the same side. Beside, it was a good idea to manipulated his brain. He is a sadist just like me. Dream is happy which is I dislike about it but oh well, his other son is suffering."

Lily (what if au):

"His eyes are very unique. I want it but oh well, if I take his eyes. He will die which is I want to avoid doing that. I like how he torment Palette, it's a good sight to see Palette crying face. He is so handsome when he cries... Pfft... I appreciates him a lot when he gave me bodies he killed. I can happily decorated them with so many accessories!"

[the-delta-quadrant]

the more we find out about Nex Benedict's murder, the more i see the similarities between their story and mine.

this could have been me a few years ago.

i was bullied by people i didn't know, which the transmisics are portraying as contradictory. they think because Nex said they didn't know the girls who killed them, it's untrue that they bullied Nex for months before, even though that's what they said. they completely interpret "i don't know them" in the most bad-faith way possible as "i have never seen them until today", because actually acknowledging the context doesn't fit their narrative.

a lot of the people who bullied me were people who weren't in my class, weren't even in my year. they were random younger people who would harass me as i walked through the school. at some point i recognised their voices and the kinds of comment they'd make, maybe even recognise what they look like. but i didn't know them. you don't have to know your bullies for the bullying to be real. especially in a society that teaches kids to "ignore their bullies" it's really not that unlikely for someone not to know who their bullies are.

Nex's story is a prime example of how teaching kids to "ignore their bullies and it will go away" is actively harmful because

a) the lack of action teaches bullies that bullying is okay, they will not stop,

b) ignoring bullies means bottling up all the feelings about being bullied until it's finally too much and the victim defends themself, which bullies use as an excuse to be more aggressive (and kids are still learning how to deal with their emotions too which makes all of this even harder) and

c) if the bullying ever escalates, you not knowing your bullies because you ignored them can be absolutely used against you by claiming the bullying wasn't actually real.

and children are inclined to take adults' bullshit advice on how to "deal with" bullies, none of this is ever the kid's fault.

and it looks like all of these points apply to Nex's case. society has utterly failed victims of bullying.

and we also need to acknowledge that bullying doesn't happen in a vacuum. bullying is a symptom of systemic oppression. most bullying victims hold some kind of marginalised identity and i don't know any marginalised people who haven't experienced any bullying. like, of course society teaching kids that marginalised people are bad will lead to bullying, and of course the anti-trans hate campaign raises kids to be violent.

looking back, it's so obvious that when i was bullied for being "ugly", they were referring to me being gnc, visibly blind and fat and they bullied me for being weird they were referring to me being gnc, ND and blind. the slurs and direct references aren't the only way that bullying is targeted at marginalised identities. and when i had too many emotions bottled up, i too would defend myself by shouting back at them or other harmless things. yes, splashing people with some water is HARMLESS, it's not assault and it's nothing compared to what these cis girls put Nex through months before, let alone literally murdering them. being both nonbinary AND indigenous, Nex was even more likely to go through this as a multiply marginalised person.

bullying is abuse. bullying is a direct result of systemic oppression and thus it is a human rights issue. and basically telling marginalised kids to suck it up ain't it.

Nex's case is terrifying because from what we know it went from being only verbal for months to immediately beating them to death as soon as they dared to defend themself. this could have been me a few years ago. i'm terrified for all our marginalised kids.

[smiley-milkovich]

The riches is like..so underrated. Trans positivity??? Scamming rich people??? A family who supports eachother no matter what??? The ENTIRE CONCEPT of wanderers makes me so happy and I don't know why. Mickey would love that life. He probably wants his aunt to adopt him. She probably tried once or twice. Laura Milkovich was a wanderer convince me otherwise. They may not be called wanderers it's late and I haven't watched the show in a bit. Also Cael is just. A good kid. Superstitious and protective, fiercely fighting for the people he loves. I saw him say "hell no I ain't sleepin' inside, I don't wanna loose my soul" and I fell for him instantly

YESSS YESS! I love all of this so much because it’s so accurate,

firstly they never questioned Sammy wearing “girl” clothes or the possibility of them being transgender, they just were like oh that’s my child/sibling and they like wearing dresses?? Coolio :) and I love that so much! Noel played cael and Mickey so well, I think playing cael definitely helped him be Mickey, like a little teaser of the big things to come for Noel.

Laura milkovich being a traveller (I am not sure what the proper term to use is so please please forgive me if this is offensive or wrong) is so on point and I have a feeling she maybe got mixed in with terry at a young age or he forced her to be with him and made her try forget about her life as a traveller because terry didn’t come from the same background.

I genuinely loved all the story lines in the riches and the characters it was way ahead of its time to be that good and Eddie izzard really came up with such a good concept! BUT not only that, I saw and not sure how true it is… but JOHN WICK was based on the riches like someone stole the idea and turned it into John wick 🫠

And one more thing, season 2 going onto season 3 was meant to be all about Cael Malloy🫠🫠🫠 I still say bring the riches back it would have only gotten better as the seasons went on (and hopefully the intros to the seasons too because they were SO BAD🤣). I bought season 1 and 2 on Amazon and I don’t regret it at all so if anyone reads this and is looking for something to watch BUY IT!!

[punkeropercyjackson]

Pjo x Spiderverse

Afro-caribbean protagonist

New York is A Big Deal

To quote my younger brothers:"REAL HOBIE IS WHAT PERCY COULD'VE BEEN IF RICK WASN'T A PUSSY"/"So Hobie's Percy but jamaican-english.Got it /hj"

Memories is literally Hazel.'My memories came back in the form of someone else,i know this feeling yes,i know this very well,why won't you love me now?(Why won't you love me now?)'/'It's gon' take some gettin' used to,feel the pain when it hits you,don't you ever let them fool you(x2)Cause i know that you said that ain't true,i learned the hard way about trust,about us,about us,you shouldn't be on your high horse,we're not so stable anymore,what's left if i give you my all?(x8)'.Just,the ENTIRE THING is such a Hazel song i'll stop myself now

Peter B and Miguel are like if Apollo and Poseidon were based

Rio is Sally down to looks in addition to personality and place in the story and dosen't Jessica look a lot like how Persephone is often pictured along with her fun mom with a serious side vibes?

Canon events are pretty much prophecies with a different name

Spider Society isn't too much like Camp Half Blood and if i said that's because it's Camp Jupiter?

Nico and Percy have the Miles and Gwen dynamic.Do not throw P*rcico allegations at me because this includes Percy being a trans girl and the list of parallels between them is looooong but to summarize:Nerdy sunshine softboy and older pastel punk girl met at his school she's there for because she's part of the new world he's about to join,they form a connection that leaves them aching for eachother and reunite a year later with one of them showing up at in the other's room while their Mamí's throws a party and they catch up tons as they feed them and that's when their connection is made cosmic with their following adventure,the ghost-coded one is hiding a dad related secret that leads to a 'betrayal' but not really and the other one gets rightfully blows up at them for it and they slowly fix things because they're soulmates by choice in every universe

Margo and Leahbeth is the same on every level and if we go with above,Ghostbyte=Lesbian Percabeth(The only Percabeth that can actually work tbh)

Anya seems to have been made Clarisse-esque and Lyla is pretty much a nymph

Gayatri and Rachel.You guys see it too right

And Jason and Ripeter.Sorry,

As an apology for that,Jason has major Andrew!Peter vibes and Tasm Petergwen reminds me of Jercy

Every character you can think of in either is autistic on some level

Urban fantasy story and superhero story but of the same mold is essentially the thing

[kotopeachii]

kotohime palace rulers ranking (wakaba included)

oh no, being asked for my opinions on the palace rulers, whatever shall i do...

KOTOHIME'S TOP 9 PALACE RULERS!!! WHO IS MARUKI

at number 9 we have the one and only kunikazu okumura!

probably the most predictable outcome, but can you blame me when he has an atrocious palace design, terrible writing as a character both in that arc and in haru's confidant, unsavoury memories of a certain cat... i mean, it wasn't really kuni's fault that morgana ended up stealing haru's spotlight to have his moment, but the writers know what they did

okumura's saving grace is that 1) he has enough backstory provided for me to do whatever i want with him in rsau and 2) he's pretty handsome

at number 8, junya kaneshiro!

now don't get me wrong, i love kaneshiro. i think about him allllll the time and he's THE bro in rsau (i can't go a second without mentioning it sorry) and also suguru's implied romantic interest cough cough

but... uh... :')

his palace is just as annoying. the only bonus it has is better music. makoto's awakening is also super sick, but this ain't about her

i get that he's got a fixation on being rich but it's a little comical how much he talks about it. like. he LOOOVES money. money money money. and hes purple fly hitler. who loves money

coming up on number 7 is yaldabaoth

cool twist. cool ending. cool whatever. but youre not my kitten baby (he actually is a kitten in rsau. or is he a cobra? kuni calls him a zebra)

at number 6 is wakaba isshiki!!!

who are you

at number 5 we have........ masayoshi shido!

was THAT predictable? i didn't think so!

you might think that from the amount of posting i do about how deeply i desire him carnally i must be a big fan, right? well. eh

playing through his palace was tedious and longwinded and dull when it wasn't plot-related. the whole "oh, kaneshiro and madarame actually knew shido and were sucking his dick the whole tiiiime" thing is also completely unnecessary and never gets mentioned again. nobody even talks about it. you probably didnt even remember it until i mentioned it again

shido is still cartoonishly evil like okumura is, but he gets bonus points for not trying to be made into a sympathetic, hard-working and misunderstood dad in akechi's confidant (and at least we actually get to see him show feelings towards things, even if it is just hating children and monologuing in his office)

also hes kiiiiiiiiiind of the tritagonist in cnau but we aren't going to talk about that.... yet..............

idk. i like shido but there's people who are better

making it into number 4 is futaba sakura!

i really like the twist on the concept of palace rulers actually. not every person with distorted desires is a bad person; instead of sabotaging others, futaba is self-sabotaging. but with a change of heart, that little shut-in is able to get back up and live life to the fullest!

now in the top 3, i give this spot to ichiryusai madarame!

the palace ruler with a canon deadname...... our trans icon 🏳‍🌈

he's what okumura wishes he was. this single father can do it all! he can paint, love, steal, emotionally abuse, he's a man of many hats without mastering anything!

if theres anyone who i love picking apart the brain of more than kaneshiro, it's madarame. he hates himself so much that it loops back around to having a huge ego. he was jealous of yusuke's mother and the talent she held that he let her die just so he can be validated boohoo

madarame thinks hes only worth what he creates, and being yusuke's only authoritative figure, imprinted that mindset and behaviour onto him. he actually sees yusuke as his son and loves him deeply but hes soooo dependent on him in multiple ways and without him he literally crumbles. madarame is pathetic and helpless and i love him

in 2nd place is sae niijima!

you know her. i know her. we've seen that section of the story. soooo good. banger palace theme, pretty environment, attractive lady, hoo-wee!

seriously, she has great development. sae never actually gets a change of heart, she changes on her own because she remembers she's here to protect what she really cares about; justice. she comes to be one of the few adults the phantom thieves can genuinely place their trust in. theres a bonus chapter in mementos mission where sae looks at buchimaru slippers because they remind her of makoto. and thats after she roundhouse kicks a purse-snatcher in the face while wearing high heels.

she's also the one who won the hottest palace ruler poll by a longshot so. you go girl!

and at long last... number 1 goes to......

SUGURU KAMOSHIDA!!!!!!!

i wanted to get a bunch of pictures of him for this but he's actually so hideous i legitimately got freaked out

he's my meow meow who did nothing wrong (he did everything wrong) and hes just a baby (literal abuser) and youre all just mean (he deserves worse)

they wanted to write a piece of shit and they did it. and they did it well. i can't think of a single reason why someone would like this guy. and thats exactly why i like him.

kamoshida was conditioned to believe that his actions had no consequences and therefore he could do whatever he wanted. people would cover it up. they'd keep their silence. his reputation is great enough that everyone is too worried to topple it because it might crush them when he falls. he doesn't need to be two-faced when they've already seen the other mask. hes the greatest introductory to the story and themes of persona 5 ever and i would not have it any other way

kamoshida is a SHIT BAG. he makes me legitimately sick to my stomach in a way the other characters just dont really do. i mean the mementos palace did a pretty good job of making me think about what im doing with my life so props to them, but like i said just looking at kamoshidas face made me feel uneasy

also i wrote a oneshot about him and kaneshiro fucking and there was the swag mention of the lingering guilt he experiences in the back of his mind every time he hurts someone because he is still a human after all

he's the protagonist in rsau and he's my favourite test subject for different kinds of pain and anguish. suguru kamoshida numba one 4eva. i hope he dies

[littleapocalypsekitten]

Okay, I just felt myself getting irrationally angry at something (or perhaps rationally, well within my rights, but it just hit me like a wave). I was watching something called "Apologetics Roadshow" on Youtube. I'd seen a couple of episodes of the guy. Rather wary of him, but I'd liked something I saw in counter of the "hurp-de-durp, theists r dumb!" arguments that so many ill-informed, self-important anti-theists (mostly anti-Christians, actually, since most don't research other religions at all, or even most forms of Christianity much). He seemed somewhat progressive (although I avoided his videos regarding Islam entirely), or at least not-fundie. Just a guy talking about Christianity in a rational manner and I could take or leave what I wanted. I still identify as a Progressive Christian, although I veer into unconventional spiritual territory and am not entirely sure what I am anymore. This stuff is still an interest of mine, though. Anyway, I got interested in a video he posted about the loss of his son. Specifically, he addressed horrible comments he got about it. His son was disabled with a genetic muscle disorder and while he got a lot of support, he apparently got a few comments going "Your son is dirt now!" and being angry at him for bringing a disabled child into the world or not letting him die at birth, I guess. (It's not like he and his wife knew, the kid surprised them). Predictably, the Youtuber brought up Real Things That The Nazis Did to humble people who make such horrible, abelist comments. He also did a sermon about the Abraham sacrificing Isaac story and the Angel of the Lord coming to the rescue and concluded it to be basically God, himself, reversing the old Pagan system of sacrificing to Gods into God sacrificing for us. (His take). However, he then went onto going on about how when society rejects God in Christ / this idea, people revert into child-sacrifice. He gave some example of sex trafficking that went on in England and then... ugh... he said the thing that made me click away from the video: "And here in America, parents are putting their children on operating tables subjecting them to Mengele-like mutilation..." I immediately recognised that as an anti-trans red flag and was "Um, buddy, DOESN'T HAPPEN!" If he'd done a modicum of research, he'd know that... top and bottom surgeries do not happen on underage kids? At least I do not think so? Like, at all? I'm pretty sure you have to be at least 16 for a top surgery (correct me if I'm wrong) and it has to have parental consent as well as be desired by the patient (and this is a thing done with cisgendered people as well, as breast reduction surgery is a thing and cancer is a thing). And I'm fairly certain that bottom means you have to be fully-adult, joinin' the Army age at least and well-vetted by psych docs. Like, the most even a teenager can do with gender-stuff is some hormone therapy (which, again, applies to cigendered people with medical conditions, too). And the way he said it, that "parents are subjecting their kids" - um, no they ain't! I don't think there's even such a thing as parents who are forcing their kids to change genders! (Exception being the intersex community? As babies)? And here I thought the lament against modern "child sacrifice" was going to be the old saw of abortion-politics. Um... congratulations transgender persons? You've officially supplanted abortion as the society boogeyman? I guess? I don't even have a dog in this fight, really. I'm a cisgendered old bat who used to be conservative and is repentant of that time in my life and I don't have anyone in my family who is openly trans, so it's more like.... "dammit, I hate it when people don't do the research and get the facts wrong!" And when they say obvious wrong things! He said it like he thinks it's some kind of fad for parents to force their kids to get gender reassignment surgeries against their will and that annoys me.

[echthr0s]

Top 10 favorite albums (or whichever ones you've been enjoying the most)

it was only this year that it occurred to me to start keeping lists of our favourite things because our memory is like swiss fucking cheese (as previously discussed lol) so this is gonna be a bit haphazard and I'm definitely gonna wake up at 02:00 in a cold sweat like "FUCK I FORGOT [x]" but. 🎵 these are the breeeeaks! 🎵 anyway.

i. DARK SIDE OF THE MOON | pink floyd hated PF as a kid listening to rock radio, their dreamy sound bored the fuck out of me, but now that I'm a stoner PF makes way more sense that's not relevant to DSotM though, I just love this album because it's about madness and entropy and death and also has the best middle track and outro track ever invented standout track: Eclipse

ii. BETWEEN THE HEART AND THE SYNAPSE | the receiving end of sirens post-hardcore concept album with copious use of harmonies and haunting lyrics. this band was a flash in the pan that left scorch marks on my entire existence standout track: Epilogue

iii. THIS GODLESS ENDEAVOR | nevermore my introduction to Nevermore that still remains my favourite work by them. what a fucking band. Warrel Dane's vocals are insane. it's just good idk what to say standout track: Sentient 6

iv. MABOOL: THE STORY OF THE THREE SONS OF SEVEN | orphaned land here we start getting into albums I don't listen to from beginning to end often bc there are individual songs that I don't really care for BUT it's such a cohesive and beautiful story when you do listen to it from beginning to end that I still do it sometimes anyway. this is a concept album about Noah and the Ark by an Israeli metal band. like. come on. what more do you WANT from LIFE standout track: The Storm Still Rages Inside

v. REQUIEM FOR A DREAM OST | Clint Mansell + Kronos Quartet I am rabid for both Mansell and the Kronos Quartet. I would die for them. honourable mention to The Fountain OST here which not only is my favourite movie but it has the one song in existence that makes me say "if I were a song I would be this song" standout track: listen idk it's just two leitmotifs the entire time, a lot of them are the same tune with different spices added

vi. STRANGER FRUIT | zeal & ardor who are my favourite band so it's kinda funny it took me this long to bring them up but YKNOW "satanic negro spirituals and btw, make it metal" is a genre that is 100% tailored to me personally (their later albums are less Specific vibes-wise which is a shame but yknow what... the shit still slaps so I'm not too mad) standout track: You Ain't Coming Back

vii. BEETHOVEN'S LAST NIGHT | trans-siberian orchestra they don't just make metal Christmas music! standout track: Mephistopheles' Return

viii. GARDEN WINDOW | o'brother vibes. pure vibes. idek how else to explain this band but. whew standout track: Poison! ix. THE DOOMSTAR REQUIEM | dethklok (metalocalypse) Metalocalypse's rock opera has some of the catchiest metal songs I've ever heard. also. it's a rock opera. likeeee come ONNN *gesticulating madly* standout track: *impales self on spikes instead of trying to choose*

x. NYMPHETAMINE | cradle of filth you already know 🤘🏿 standout track: Absinthe With Faust