#and in every single one he doesn't want to be re-possessed and wants to find his brother and it makes me sad

[tracle0]

Boy nearly drowns,t hen gets possessed again

[fuzybby]

Jealousy

Gale x F! Reader

Synopsis: Gale's jealousy gets the better of him, for lack of better words.

CW: possessive language. creampie and talk of creampie. rough sex. mage hand.

It was a harmless compliment.

A nice, “You look ravishing today” thrown towards the cold blooded vampire that set your love's jealousy aflame.

So now, here you are, trapped underneath Gale as your hands are held high above your head with a mage hand, sinking further into the lush bed as he ruts into you like an animal.

He had put his hair up in a half bun, only the small pieces of hair right at the bottom spilled out from behind his shoulders, cascading down towards you. You watched as a single bead of sweat trickled down his neck, wishing that you could lick it and taste him.

Turning his head up to the ceiling, his eyes scrunched shut and his mouth came open in a silent moan. You watched his Adam's apple bob and wished you could move even just slightly so you could drag your teeth against it.

But with his hands holding your waist down, and the mage hand on your own hands, you were secured to the bed. The hot bed with slick sheets. You try to arch your back to get it to cool down, the bed underneath you only providing more heat than you can handle.

“Gale,” You sighed, your voice high pitched as a certain thrust left you breathless.

“Hm?” He answered, tilting his head back down to watch your expression.

Your face continued to twist into pleasure as you tried to find the words you were looking for. “It’s hot.” Was all you could come up with.

Gale smirked, slowing down his pace slightly. “I know I am, baby.”

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, one that was quickly replaced by a whine. “No, no no, the bed, the bed is hot.”

Gale hummed, almost too quiet for you to hear. He took his cock out of you slowly before flipping you over, bringing your hips up so only your chest and head were on the bed. “Better?” He asked sincerely.

You nodded your head, holding onto the sheets above your head as your body got used to this new position, your back was now finally hit with some cool air.

You whine, feeling your lover re enter you from behind. He doesn't start slow, he continues the fast pace he was at originally.

“Slow down,” You huff, wanting to move your arms and grab at him. Wishing to touch your handsome wizard. He's never been this rough with you before, always wanting to keep it slow and sensual.

“Don't tell me what to do.” He responds sternly, grabbing a fistfull of your hair to hold. “I am doing this because you are mine, you belong to me and me only.”

“Yours.” You whisper, splitting into a fucked out grin as you are reminded that you are his, and he is yours.

Gale groans from behind you, letting go of your hair to hold back onto your waist. “I am the only one who shall fill your heart, and fill your pretty cunt with cum.”

His thrusts are merciless, and you can feel his balls smack against your clit every time he pushes back in. Concentrating hard enough, your thighs begin to shake as an orgasm starts to climb its way through you.

“I'm gonna cum,” You moan, gripping the sheets tightly as your whole body tenses. Your orgasm rips through you, coursing your veins as you scream into the sheets below you. Your body writhes and shakes, your toes curl as pleasure takes over your entire being.

Your wizard groans, clearly happy with the show you've put on for him.

“Should I cum inside you my dear? Have you earned it?” He taunts, digging his nails into your flesh.

“Yes! Yes please! I'm yours and only yours!” You cry, throwing your hips back to meet his never ending thrusts. Overstimulation keeps your body tense.

Gale smirks, and gives your ass a small and gentle pat, “Good girl.” He says.

Letting out his own moans of pleasure, his own orgasm approaches quickly. Emptying his thick load inside of you as he doubles over, biting your shoulder to try and muffle some of his own noises.

Finally coming to, he lets go. Letting you fall limp to the bed as his soft cock falls out of you.

Gale chuckles, “Sorry.” He sighs. His eyes lingering on all of the lovebites he has given you.

“That was probably the best orgasm I've ever had.” You laugh, closing your eyes with a smile.

“Glad to be of service.” The wizard smiles.

[pomplalamoose]

Could we please get some sith luke x reader hc’s?🤞

Me as soon as I saw your ask:

There is in fact nothing that'd make me happier, nonnie!

Sith Luke headcanons were one of the first things I ever wrote for Luke before even creating this blog so I'M SO EXCITED🩵🩵

(check them out here)

• deciding to date Sith Luke is not a choice you should make lightly 

• (if he gives you the chance to anyways)

• depending on where you meet and how you catch his eye, he will either lure you in with his charm, seducing you with all he has

• or, alternatively, just straight up kidnap you 

• once he has acquired you however, there's no chance he'll ever let you out of his clutches again

• he possibly allows you the illusion of free will but know that he's the one holding all the threads 

• just like his father he is a very good manipulator 

• because he doesn't want you to even think about leaving, he likes to twist your mind to get what he wants, to keep you with him 

• you may not have the chance to leave anyways but that doesn't mean he wants you to find out about that in the first place 

• you're supposed to love him with every fiber of your being!

• he's all you have, the center of your universe!

• stay with him and never again will you need or want for anything 

• he will make sure you have it all

• you won't realize the door to your golden cage closing in your face until it's too late

• in the same way he's as fiercely protective as he is possessive 

• you aren't allowed to go anywhere without him by your side 

• and due to his threatening person being always somewhere near it's practically impossible to engage in a normal conversation with someone outside of his immediate family 

• he tends to be wary even of them 

• he doesn't want you to engage too much with others, afraid another man or woman will catch your fancy, no matter if it's in a platonic or romantic way 

• he is the only one you will ever need

• everyone making an effort to come close to you will end up on his radar

• and then they will randomly disappear?

• no, he really can't tell you why all of your new friends keep vanishing like that 

• maybe you should've just listened to him and stayed away 

• there's no one but him who has your best interest in mind after all

• the galaxy is full of unreliable and dangerous people, stay away from them 

• while he enjoys showing you off on his arm, parading you around as his most priced possession and reveling in the way it sparks jealously wherever you appear, he can change his mind about it just as quickly 

• yes, they may take a quick look, but ultimately you are his and his alone to enjoy

• he will make this very clear by always having his hands on you 

• one might rest on your lower back or on the back of your neck 

• maybe he's holding your hand very tightly in his, refusing to let go

• if you want to check out the buffet or step outside to look at the scenery you will simply have to ask (beg) him

• don't worry though, if he's in a decent enough mood it's not hard at all

• cling to his arm and flutter your lashes at him 

• leave a shy kiss on his cheek 

• whisper in his ear 

• he won't be able to deny you anything 

• not when you're so clearly putting on display to whom you belong 

• and to make this even more obvious he'll always leave his marks on you

• if they fade, he'll make sure to re apply them

• he expects you to wear them in the open like jewelry 

• don't you dare covering them up with either make up or clothing 

• Sith Luke is dominant in every single aspect and always, without fail, has to have the last say 

• the more easily you succumb to his will the better

• he may not straight up order you to do things a certain way, but you'll learn fast enough what pleases and displeases him 

• this is not only in regards to how you wear your hair and how you dress but how you behave as well 

• he decides what you do to your hair in the morning, as it's his habit to play with it 

• when he has the time he personally picks your outfit

• if he doesn't you'll have to ask him whether he likes what you choose, sometimes having to change several times until he's finally satisfied 

• he decides what and how you eat and especially enjoys handfeeding you when he's not too busy 

• if you lick his hand extra clean after you are allowed to pick a favorite dessert of yours 

• he expects you to wait for him when he returns to your shared quarters after a hard day, no matter how late it is 

• receive him with open arms 

• tell him how much you missed him 

• cover him in kisses and your affection 

• don't leave his side, follow him wherever he goes 

• offer to take off his shoes for him

• offer to help him change into something more comfortable

• ask him about his day and listen closely 

• stroke his face and be sympathetic as he a answers

• offer to run him a relaxing bath and to wash his hair 

• offer to massage his sore muscles after

• beg for him to hold you close 

✨ slight nsfw content under the cut✨

• as interested as he is in what you're wearing, he likes it most when you're not wearing anything at all

• not only does he enjoy the lovely view but most of all the easy access, that he can have what he craves most at any time 

• drape yourself over his bed clothed in his long black cape like a present for him to unwrap and he's more than eager to fulfill every wish you might have 

• but be careful, you might not be always alone with him as he often tends to have visitors over 

• don't you dare let yourself be seen in any state of dress until he specifically asks you to join them

• he likes watching you take a shower and does so regularly 

• for once he won't tell you what to do, instead leaning back and drinking in your wet and soapy body

• he'll sometimes ask you to turn a certain way so he can get a better view though 

• maybe a shampoo bottle will slip from your grasp, you'll have to bend down to retrieve it 

• oh, it happened again? You really are a little clumsy today

[bullet-prooflove]

A quick round up of updates on the blog including new characters added to the ASK LIST and a list of fics that went out last week:

Characters Added To Ask List:

Mitch Keller

New Fics:

Chicago Med:

Three Minutes - Sean thinks its time to take a pregnancy test.

One Rule - You and Dean try to forget about his illness for a night.

Lunch (NSFW) - Jack can't stop thinking about you.

FBI - International:

Starry Nights - You and Damien take some time away from the city to re-evaluate things after his injury.

Law & Order:

The Fall - Mike makes a horrible mistake.

Law & Order Toronto:

Coffee Beans (NSFW) - Things get heated with Henry when you can't reach the coffee beans on the top shelf.

NCIS:

Left Behind - You come home to find Alden on the run with his ex-wife Viv.

NCIS - New Orleans:

Case of the Ex - Dwayne is confronted with a face from your past.

NCIS - Sydney:

A Good Thing (NSFW) - JD doesn't want you to ruin a good thing.

Key To Her Heart - JD has to to sell you to make his case.

Psych:

Voice Mail - Carlton leaves an inciminating voice mail.

The Rookie Feds:

Exposure - You're relationship with Brendon comes out after you're papped during a proposal.

Top Gun Maverick:

Worth Waiting For (NSFW) - Jake spends the night with you after six month apart.

Tulsa King:

Sunshine (NSFW) - You've always been the sunshine in Mitch's life.

Twisters:

Ford Mustang - Tyler extends an olive branch.

Engine Parts - Tyler and you try to clear the air.

In For Five - Tyler makes a realisation regarding you.

Yellowstone:

Leap of Faith - Jamie decides to take a leap of faith.

Adrenaline - Ryan gets turned on by your capability.

The Fifth Man - After reading through Lee’s journals Kayce realises he has another brother.

The Good & The Bad - Rip gives you every single piece of himself.

Birthdays - Jamie doesn't celebrate his birthday.

The Morning After - Ryan and you enjoy the morning together.

1993 - You read out a letter to Lee over the phone.

The Vet - Rip comes face to face with a nightmare.

The Right Time - You realise there will never be a right time for you and John.

Music (NSFW) - You and Walker make beautiful music together.

Tell Me (NSFW) - Kayce gets possessive when he sees you with another man.

[fics-n-stuff-n-stuff]

Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser Levy McGarden/Gajeel Redfox

Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic Follows Fairy tail but with my own twists set in modern day Fluff and Angst Romance Friendship developing feelings Lucy has new spirits I checked constellations and gave her ones I thought were cool

Summary

Lucy is thrown into a world she didn’t know existed. Join her as she unravels this new world full of magic that brings adventure, romance and destruction along with it.

———

Just a modern re-telling of Fairy tail.

You can also read it here.

——————————————————

Chapter 16

"The heck is a broken key doing in there? Does that mean this spirit is dead or something?"

Lucy could hear Natsu ask from somewhere behind her, but his voice was starting to fade in and out, echoing around her and she could feel a headache forming behind her right eye the longer she stared at the key.

'Leo, The Lion.' There was a haze around her mind as Lucy tried to recall any memories of such a spirit.

'Aquarius, Virgo, Pisces, Taurus, Scorpio, Libra, Aries, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Cancer, Gemini.'

Lucy went through all the zodiacs in her head, she remembered all of them from her childhood.

But no memories of Leo.

Lucy was certain her mother was in possession of all twelve gate keys before her death, so how come she couldn't remember this one? Why was it broken?

What was it doing in a museum?

Something about all of this feels weird.

It can't be a coincidence, their job turns out to be a hoax, only for them to find a golden key in the same place they were called to.

No, definitely not a coincidence.

The sudden buzzing of her phone in her pocket brought Lucy out of her head and she fished it out so she could answer it.

"Mira, there is no record of this job coming into the guild, is there?" She said into the phone, not taking her eyes off the broken key piece.

"I'm sorry Lucy, there isn't anything in our files about a request being sent in by anyone from Sakuramori Village in the past year, and what makes it even weirder is that the flyer you gave me yesterday is nowhere to be found." Mira told her with a slightly frustrated tone, and Lucy could hear the flipping of pages from the other end.

"I know I put it in here." Lucy heard her mumble over the phone as she searched through her books.

"Something about this doesn't feel right. The Master said you should come back to the guild so we can figure out what's happening." The older girl told her through the speaker.

"Mira," Lucy said in a serious tone, taking a deep breath before continuing. "We found a broken zodiac key in this Museum, a key that have no memory of.

And I have a feeling that we weren't sent here by accident, someone wanted me to find it." Lucy told her, hoping the take-over mage would understand.

"I'm sorry but I'm not coming back until I find out what's going on." Her tone was determined as she spoke, and there was a moment of silence on the other end.

The sudden appearance of Natsu behind her caused Lucy to almost jump out of her skin, fumbling with the phone for a second before putting it back to her ear.

His front was now firmly pressed against her back.

"Tell the old geezer we're not coming back till we see what's going on here, and don't worry about us. We'll be fine!" He spoke into the phone, his head pressed against hers.

"And could you ask Wendy to take care of Happy till we get back?" Natsu added as an afterthought, remembering that the exceed did not come with them on this job.

Lucy was shocked still by the suddenness of their proximity, hyper-aware of every single nerve ending that was in contact with Natsu.

She knew that her heartbeat was going crazy at his presence.

His heat and scent enveloped her the moment they touched, she could feel the way his chest moved against her back, slowly synchronizing with her breathing, the way his breath hit her cheeks as he spoke, his hair tickling her forehead.

It was almost overwhelming. Was she ever going to get used to being this close to him?

Lucy was also aware that Natsu could hear said heartbeat and tried taking a breath to calm herself, hoping the drakon wouldn't think anything of it. "Are you guys sure? I really think you should come back so we can figure it out together."

Lucy could hear the worry in Mira's voice through the phone, but she couldn't go back now. Not when the gleaming key was staring back at her. "He's right, we'll be fine. I promise to check in, and keep you posted." Lucy told her, hoping to compromise with the older girl.

There was a sigh from the other end.

"Fine, but you make sure to keep me in the loop, and I am not to blame for what the Master has in store for you two for not following orders! We'll talk later. Good luck." With those parting words, Mira hung up before they had a chance to respond.

Lucy heard and felt Natsu's groan as he dropped his head into the crook of her neck. "Aww man, I hope he doesn't make me clean the guild again."

His breath was warm against her skin, and Lucy could feel the goosebumps forming along her neck, sending a slight shiver down her spine.

Holding back a squeak at the sudden sensation, it took Lucy a few tries before she was able to respond without sounding like she inhaled helium.

"Hey, whatever happens, at least we'll be together. Right?" Lucy said, wanting to cheer her partner up as she turned to face Natsu with a smile.

Only she grossly underestimated the distance between them and was suddenly nose-to-nose with the pink-haired man.

Their eyes locked, and it seemed like the temperature around them was increasing with every passing moment.

Natsu stared at her for a few seconds with one of his stoic expressions, the one where you could never tell what's gonna come out of his mouth next, before suddenly smiling back at her.

"You're right! It's always more fun when we're together!" He said as he lowered his head a few centimeters and their foreheads connected.

Lucy's heart was speeding up again at his causal public display of affection, he really did not have any concept of personal space.

"Okay, let's find out what a magical broken key is doing here!" He said with enthusiasm as he withdrew from her bubble and went to look back at the glass case.

Lucy took the opportunity and surveyed the room, noticing a few people here and there, but thankfully no one was focused on the two of them in the corner.

She made her way closer, wanting to get a better look at the broken key piece.

She could feel a faint pulse of magical energy coming from the object behind the glass. The magic felt melancholy and woeful and Lucy's heart clenched the closer she got.

"It feels sad." She said quietly.

"Yeah, I can feel it too, but if it still has magic that's a good thing. Right?" Natsu asked and Lucy turned to face him.

"I have no idea. But I know who does." She said and took his hand, leading him through the building. "I think we should find a secluded place in the forest so I can summon one of my spirits and ask them.

They must know what happened to Leo."

Lucy told him as they made their way out of the Museum, neither of them noticing the eyes following them.

* ********* ********** ********** ********* *

Mira looked down at the phone with a troubled look on her face and let out a sigh.

She did not have a good feeling about this.

And she was not looking forward to telling the Master that Natsu and Lucy decided not to follow a direct order and went to investigate on their own.

But then again, was she really surprised?

Natsu was never known for following orders and has always done things his way.  Not to mention that it seems like ever since Lucy joined the guild things have gotten..interesting, to say the least.

Mira and her siblings have been a part of Fairy Tail longer than most of the younger members, and even some of the older ones.

She's known Natsu since he came to the guild.

Mira remembers the angry little boy that he was back then, remembers how abandoned he felt by his father, and how he made it everyone's problem.

The amount of damage done to the guild in his first few years at Fairy Tail was a headache just thinking about.

It was an agonizingly slow process, getting him to trust his guild mates, and even then his resolve to find his father never wavered.

As soon as he was old enough to go out on his own jobs, his quest was never-ending. Leading him to scour Fiore aimlessly for years.

Mira had always felt pity for the drakon, hopelessly searching for someone who may not be out there.

Nothing anyone said or did could get him to stop, or even slow down.

No matter how many times the Master put him on 'House Arrest'. (Which was just having different mages watch him in shifts to make sure he doesn't go running off by himself.) The fire Drakon would either wait them out or find a way to escape.

Not even the threat of Erza and her swords was enough to get him to slow down.

Eventually, they all just gave up.

As long as he was coming back unharmed every couple of weeks or months, they left him to his search.

When they finally figured out how to use technology without the interference of magic, they made him check in with her every week.

'So how did Lucy manage to do it without even trying?' Mira let out a sigh at her thoughts as she re-polished the bar once more.

"I promise you there is not a spot anywhere on this surface, but you might make a dent in the wood if you keep going at it like that." An amused but gruff voice broke her out of her thoughts and Mira's head snapped to see the Leader of the Thunder Legion sitting on one of the stools.

"What can I get you today Laxus?" She asked in her best polite tone, avoiding their usual banter. She held back a wince at how it came out, knowing he wouldn't buy it.

And sure enough, the blonde only slouched further on the bar and raised a brow at her.

"What has you so strung up?" He asked her in an almost lazy tone.

"It's nothing, just thinking." Mira responded briskly, trying to dodge the interrogation, and hoping he would drop the subject.

"Okay, if you say so. Can you get me a pint?" He asked with raised hands as if surrendering.

"It's barely noon." Was her only response as she went to pour the beer.

"Your point being?" He asked with a shrug as she set the glass in front of him.

"At least you're not as bad as Cana. I swear one of these days she's gonna get alcohol poisoning." Mira said with a sigh as she turned to look at the card mage who was sitting at her designated spot at the end of the bar, drinking her wine barrel.

There was a snort from Laxus at her words as he went to drink his beer.

"Don't compare me to that drunk, and I'm pretty sure her blood is more booze than anything else by now."

Mira let out a laugh at that, knowing it was probably true.

"Ah, so it wasn't anything dire then, you wouldn't have laughed if it was." Laxus commented between sips, smirking at her through the rim of the glass.

Mira shot him a glare and tried to suppress the urge to stick her tongue out at him, that would only give him ideas.

"Natsu and Lucy went out on a job to Sakuramori Village today, only it turns out that no one sent for help from the Museum, and we have no records of the job coming in." Mira started to ramble, giving in to his probing.

"Even the flyer Lucy gave me yesterday is gone!" She exclaimed as she slouched on the bar.

"Lucy? That blonde that I met on New Year's?" Laxus questioned, sounding thoroughly confused. "Why would she be out on a job with Natsu of all people?" He asked making Mira peek at him through her hands and sit up straight.

"You've been gone a while, things have.." Mira trailed off trying to think of a good way to describe the current situation. "Progressed." She settled on that, but it only seemed to confuse the lightning mage and he raised a brow at her in question.

Mira sighed as she went to give him a rundown of the past few months.

"A few months ago Natsu brought Lucy back to the guild after one of his jobs. He found her in Hargeon." She decided to start there, from what seemed like the beginning.

"She was attacked by a Lethifold and he saved her, only by the time he got there the creature had already taken a portion of her energy." Mira stopped to take a breath, looking back at Laxus to see if he was paying attention.

The blonde was focused on her words, his beer was set on the tabletop and his body was leaning towards her slightly, an intrigued expression on his face as he listened.

While on their job, the Thunder Legion wasn't kept in the loop about the going ons at Fairy Tail.

They did know that Phantom Lord attacked the guild and the Master was gravely injured, they were on their way back when the whole thing was resolved and Mira called to let them know everything and everyone was fine.

So they decided to go back and finish their job, figuring since everything was settled and they only had a few months left that it was the right thing to do.

It wasn't surprising that Laxus would want to know the gossip, they may not look it, but the Thunder Legion were notorious gossips.

Their leader especially.

"Thankfully, Porlyusica and Wendy were able to heal her, and Lucy, as you know is fine." She told him with a small smile before continuing.

"At first I didn't think anything of it. I mean it was obvious Lucy had a seal that was about to burst, not to mention the energy that was stolen by the Lethifold." Mira shook her head as she remembered Natsu barging in through the portal with an unconscious Lucy in his arms.

"Any one of us would help save and bring back an injured mage. Even you wouldn't let someone die in a backwards alleyway." She joked, making Laxus scowl at her little jab.

He seemed invested by this point, looking at her with a raised eyebrow as he tilted his head towards her, his way of asking her to continue.

"Then the next day I noticed that Natsu was still mingling in the guild." Mira continued retelling him the events.

"It was strange, Happy was out at the time, and the job he took in Hargeon was an easy and short one, I expected him to be on his way to the next town by morning as usual." She mused, knowing Laxus understood how abnormal that was coming from the fire drakon.

"Only he seemed content in just waiting. So he stayed." Mira said as she thought back to when Lucy told her she and Natsu were going on a job together.

It was quite a shock.

"He stayed until Lucy woke up, he was there to save her from a rouge chair during one of the brawls, he refused to leave her side until she woke up after her magic broke through the seal." She let out a chuckle as she remembered how baffled everyone was when he volunteered to take her back to Hargeon.

Mira watched the mix of emotions on Laxus's face as she explained Natsu's recent behavior. 

It was amusing to see the disbelief, shock, and surprise all in a matter of seconds, but she could understand why.

She was still wrapping her head around the sudden change, but it was a surprisingly pleasant one if you ask her.

Everything at Fairy Tail was always wonted.

Mira was used to the routine, she knew the members of her guild like the back of her hand.

She could accurately predict what anyone was going to do or how they would react to most situations.

Not to mention that being the designated barkeep comes with its privileges, like being in on all the gossip. That was a major one for the take-over mage.

So it was a monumental surprise when one day Natsu was just, there.

It has been almost four months and Natsu was still here. He hasn't left Lucy's side since he brought her to the guild.

It was odd at first for everyone, Mira could tell. Seeing Natsu mingling about and interacting with everyone on a day-to-day basis in a way he hasn't before.

Well, he has, just never this consistently.

Usually, Natsu would come in after a job every couple of weeks, he would pick a fight with the members if he was bored or annoyed, eat, and drink on occasion.

But it was never longer than a day or two. Week at most and he was off.

And seeing the way that he is with Lucy is astonishing. He's only ever trusted Happy, and Wendy to an extent.

But it was something else too, a part of him seemed to have settled in a way she hadn't seen before. It was like he was content as long as Lucy was there.

That's why Mira thought they would be together by now, it's just so obvious.

"And now they're on a job together, wow. You know I thought it was weird he was still around the guild after New Year's. This is progress. Who knew that flame brain could get the girl." Laxus mused as he finally wrapped his head around her words.

Mira leveled him with an unimpressed look, before sighing and slumping slightly on the counter. "You didn't see him when Phantom Lord attacked, he was livid when he realized Lucy was taken."

She shook off the mental image of Natsu coming through the doors with a beaten and bloody Lucy in his arms. She was almost unrecognizable, and Natsu looked like he was on the verge of a killing spree.

"What did Phantom want with a new member?" Laxus asked as he sipped his beer.

"Wow, you guys missed a lot of drama." Mira mumbled, realizing they didn't know anything of Lucy's family.

"Um, so Lucy's kind of, like royalty." That information seemed to have stunned the lightning mage.

"Her father is Duke Jude Heartfilia, and she's, well, a Duchess by birth."

There was a moment of silence before Laxus regained the ability to speak again. "So Phantom kidnapped her for ransom or something?" He asked, and Mira could see why he would think that funny how the truth was much worse.

"Actually, her father hired them to bring her back home." Mira said in a quiet tone.

"He what?" Laxus sounded outraged at the thought. "Why would anyone in their right mind do something like that?" He went to stand from his stool, his breath was getting heavy with each word and Mira could tell he was getting angry.

"Oh calm down, we already kicked their ass and sent them packing. No need for all of this." She waved her hand in front of him as he glared at her, trying to intimidate her.

Mira laughed at the thought and sent him her deadliest glare, causing him to back off with his hands raised in surrender.

"Jose wanted to take us down, as you already know, and the fact that he was getting paid was a bonus to him." Mira kept explaining. "He wasn't even going to fulfill the obligation he was hired for, once he found out what Lucy's magic was.." She trailed off, knowing Laxus would understand.

"But we managed to take them down, Lucy even went to confront her father after everything settled. Remember when Natsu came bustling through the guild like a madman?" Mira asked him, remembering he was there that day.

"Yeah, vaguely, I had quite the hangover. He was in a panic, I just assumed he found out something about his dad." The blonde shrugged.

"Well, it wasn't that. He was worried about Lucy." She told him with a huff.

"So what are you so worked up about? That Natsu is in love? I mean yeah it's shocking, I honestly thought that he was Asexual or Aromantic or something, but good for him. So have the bets started yet?" Laxus asked her, and Mira stared at him with a baffled expression.

"Why would you think he was Asexual?" She asked. "Really? That's what you're focusing on?" He asked her in slight exasperation.

Mira only shot him a look, crossing her arms as she raised a brow. "I mean I've never seen him show attraction to any gender before, not even on like a physical level. It seemed like he just didn't care about any of that. His goal of finding Igneel was always his first and only priority."

The man shrugged as he spoke, moving to take a sip of his beer.

"Huh, I never thought of it that way, I always assumed he was either a late bloomer or particular about what he likes." Mira said, thinking of the time when poor Lisanna had a crush on the fire drakon.

Her sister never had a chance.

While Natsu was kinder to her than most in their younger days, he was still reserved in his own way.

"I'm not worked up about him being in love. I think it's great. And there is a betting pool going around." Mira said with a wicked smile before continuing.

"I just have a weird feeling about this false job they're on. Lucy's magic is very rare, and if Jose wanted to use it I imagine there are others as well." She told him, voice somber as she shared her fears.

"Word travels fast in our world and you know how far people will go to obtain power."

* ********* ********** ********** ********* *

"Are we far enough yet? And why couldn't we get food in town, I'm starving." Natsu asked as they trekked through the forest.

Lucy looked around and determined that they were far enough for her to use magic.

"We can stop here." She told him and put her backpack next to a tree.

"There's some sandwiches in my bag, you can eat that while I talk to my spirits." She pointed to her backpack and Natsu let out a 'Whoop' at the mention of food and be-lined to where she set it.

Lucy chuckled at him and made her way a few meters from where he was standing.

"Okay, time to get answers." Lucy said and went for her zodiacs, figuring Capricorn was her best bet for this.

Only when she went to take the key off its ring it got incredibly hot and scorched her fingers.

"Ouch! What the?" She blew on her fingers as she looked down at her keys.

The golden ones were all glowing slightly, and as she went to touch them, they all burned her off.

Virgo was less hot to the touch than the rest and Lucy braved through the pain and summoned the maid spirit.

"Good afternoon Princess, is it time for my punishment?" She appeared bowing in a golden glow.

"No punishments Virgo, why are the keys burning me?" Lucy asked her, hoping the pink-haired woman would give her an explanation.

"I am sorry Princess, but we cannot give you the answers you are looking for. None of us want to hurt you, but we will not come out if it means you asking the impossible of us."

Lucy stared at the spirit in shock, this was the second time she's been denied answers by her spirits. She just couldn't understand why.

"Oy Virgo, I thought you were cool, what do ya mean you can't answer a simple question? Why did we find a broken key in that Museum?" Natsu's voice came from over her shoulder, he was closer than before. Lucy hadn't even noticed he had moved.

Virgo looked at them with a sorrowful expression on her usually stoic face. "I am sorry, we want to help you Princess, but I'm afraid we can't. Not with this." The pink-haired spirit bowed once more before disappearing with a flash of golden light.

Lucy let out a frustrated sigh at the turn of events, not understanding why this was happening. They refused to give her any information on her family history, and now they won't even come out to talk to her about Leo.

To go as far as to burn her, Lucy shook her head as she rubbed her forefinger and thumb.

They were still stinging a bit.

"Well, she wasn't any help." Natsu said from behind her, and Lucy couldn't help but laugh at his obtuseness.

"No, she wasn't." She mumbled as she turned to face him.

"I wonder if Grampa Crux would be willing to help." Lucy mused out loud and went for her silver key.

Thankfully the Cross didn't heat up and let himself be summoned.

He was sleeping when he appeared in front of them. "Grampa Crux?" Lucy asked tentatively.

"Good morning, what can I help you with today Lady Lucy?" The old spirit answered in a gruff voice and Lucy smiled at him.

"Good morning, I was wondering what information you have on Leo, the Lion." She asked with bated breath, not knowing the reaction she was going to get.

There was a silence in the forest after her question, Lucy thought he might have fallen asleep again, but then the spirit let out a sigh.

"I am sorry My Lady, there is not much I can tell you." His voice was apologetic as he spoke.

"Leo, the lion is the leader of the Zodiacs, represented by the constellation of Leo. He is known for being one of the strongest spirits in our Realm." The Clock told them and Lucy looked at Natsu with a worried look before turning back to Crux.

"But we just found his key broken in a Museum. What does that mean?" Lucy asked desperation in her voice. She wanted answers, dammit.

The spirit sighed once more, tilting slightly in their direction. "There are many things that we need to learn on our own. I am afraid this is one of them." The cryptic words only made Lucy more frustrated, why do they always talk in riddles?

"Do not fret My Lady, I find in circumstances like these, it's best to retrace one's steps." Crux told her with a tip to his mustache, indicating a smile from the spirit.

Lucy smiled back at him, still slightly annoyed by the lack of answers, but grateful to the old spirit nonetheless.

"Thank you, you may go back now." She told him and he disappeared with a bow.

"What is it with your spirits and not liking to answer questions?" Natsu asked sounding annoyed at their enigmatic words.

Lucy laughed as she looked back at him, his chin was buried in his scarf, and she could tell he was slightly pouting.

"At least Grampa Crux gave us a clue. Come on, let's go back into town and find somewhere to sleep, and eat." She told him as she started walking back towards the Village.

"Yooshh! Let's go get food!" Natsu sounded beyond excited at the thought of food, and Lucy smiled at how childlike he could be.

[faegoddessog]

 Seventy Two Hours of Bliss Ch. 35/41

Chapter 35: The Road Ahead

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, Fingering, unprotected PiV, (play safe ya'll) mention of past self harm (There is help for self-harm, Text CONNECT to 741741 ), angst, possessive sex,

Series Masterlist 

Series Summary:

You are neighbors with Austin Butler on the Gold Coast of Australia just prior to shooting Elvis. You become just friends because he is taken. However, after he is single again, you both find out just how attracted you are to one another and things get unrelentingly hot.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only,  here there be lemons.

Authors Notes: I started writing this while remodeling my kitchen, so that informed the slightly quirky narrative. It starts slow, but once it heats up, it is on fire. I have tried to pull facts from RL as much as I could, but obviously there are some assumptions and flat out dreamy wishes  involved here. 

Chapter 35: The Road Ahead

Late one night in the beginning of July, you are lying in bed unable to sleep.  Austin is conked out next to you, he looks like an angel, breathing softly in the light of your phone. You habitually pull up your email. The top email is from the US Antarctic program. You are suddenly terrified to open it. You toss your phone to the foot of the bed like it’s on fire. 

Shit, it’s here. The thing  you have been dreaming of and yet dreading in the back of your mind is actually here. One long held, life-affirming dream potentially lying in wait at the foot of the bed, another fresh, new, love-affirming dream lying next to you. What if you have to choose between them? You aren't ready to confront a choice like this. 

What if Antarctica doesn't want you and you never end up going. One dream crushed. The other is still here, asleep next to you. 

But what if they do want you. You HAVE to go. This, plus renovating Tom and Rita’s in Greece, will complete your 7 continents. You wouldn't forgive yourself if you give up on your ‘every continent’ goal. It's the one thing that kept you going after facing death, after being broken mind, body, heart and soul. You just can’t, not for anyone, not even for Austin.  But if you go, what will happen between you? Will he still want you, will you still want him?  What if absence makes the heart grow forgetful instead of fonder. You push those thoughts away viciously, your heart rate increasing. 

Oh my god, you don't know how to feel right now, strong opposing emotions stretch your capacity to think rationally.  You swirl perilously close to that blank place of apathy. Thought patterns and emotions you thought you had dealt with, re-surfacing after so many years. The place you fell into when he left while you were still in your hospital bed. That place you went when you were torn apart physically, mentally and that fucker left your heart and self esteem in tatters.  The place of neutral feelings, everything gray and bland.  The place where bright streaks of red welling up on your arms weren't cause for alarm, just a way of feeling something, anything.  The place where living and dying were all the same. 

'Fuck no you don't!' She screams inside your head, color and knife edge emotions brought back into sharp focus, 'We are NOT doing that again! Austin isn't him. He would never do that to you!' 

You roll over and huddle into the angel's chest, hiding from what may be on your phone. Your breath is shallow and shaky. FUCK! Why can’t you just stay in the now. The literal right now, in your little Austin bubble where he is yours (and Elvis’) all day, every day.  What if all this between you is just because it’s convenient? What if absence makes him simply forget you exist? What if someone else, swoops in and takes him away from you while you are gone? You try in vain to take in big, long breaths, attempting to shove those dangerous thoughts out of your head. 

'Shut the fuck up bullshit inadequacy!" She is so much more than just a sex-driven demon. 

You start trembling, clinging to him, hoping it’ll stop before he wakes up.  Damnit, you know better than to get yourself worked up. Fucking anxiety attack. 

‘When the hell did you become THIS girl?’ you ask yourself, ‘Antarctica is your dream!"

‘When you fucking fell in love with that sexy boy right there,”  she states, "when you let yourself finally become vulnerable to someone else."

Woken by your movement and the breath across his skin, Austin folds you in his arms. 

This only manages to make you shake more. Knowing you aren't actually alone here is like permission to let all that has been running around your head leak out. 

“Hey, Kitten,” his voice gravelly with sleep.” hey, what’s wrong? I’m here baby, it’s ok. Shhhh,”

His immediate concern shifts your anxiety into tears. Damnit.

“Wanna talk about it, Kitten?”  he asks, concerned and rubbing your back, ”was it a bad dream.” 

“No baby,” you sob, “it’s this dream…It’s too good…..what if it doesn’t ….” you whimper into his chest, tears wetting his skin. 

“What are you talking about, sweetheart?” he pets your hair soothingly. 

“What if you forget …And someone else,” you are practically hyperventilating and unable to finish your sentences through your sobs, ”So in love ...  how can I … will you want...... how can I face mys- … fuck… why am I so… fuck!" tears stream down your face. 

“Shhhh, Kitten, darling,” he doesn't try to understand, he just holds you close, kissing your forehead, “I love you baby, just breathe.”

Gradually you get your breathing under control and your heart beat slows as the anxiety runs it's course. He sits up, leaning against the headboard, taking you with him. He turns on the bedside lamp, hands you the bottle of water he keeps there and a tissue. 

You blow your nose, feeling a little foolish, and sip the water. 

“Are you ready to tell me what is going on?” he asks as you hand the bottle back to him.

"I'm so sorry baby, fucking anxiety," head hanging and your hand covering your face, feeling a little ashamed.

"Whoa, sweetie," he gently removes your hand and holds it in his rubbing his thumb along the back.  He tips your chin up to look at him, "there is nothing to be sorry for. I am here for you my love, no matter what."  

His loving gaze melts you.  You take a deep breath, then another. You nod and reach for your phone.

“I haven’t read it yet to see what it says, but I got an email from the Antarctica people and um… all my anxiety just exploded.”

“Why anxiety hunny? I thought that would be exciting for you,” he frowns a little, "it's what you've been waiting for." 

“Well, what if they said no, there goes my dream of all 7 continents, but what if they said yes… and I... I leave,” your voice gets shaky again and words tumble out as if they will never be said unless you say them quickly. “What if you forget all about me and I never see you again.  And why the fuck am I being so insecure? But how can I not go, it’s my dream and yes, so exciting and I don’t want to lose you, but… I mean I would never ask or expect you to give up your career and dreams to follow me around the world carrying boxes...“

Austin places one hand on your cheek, arresting your freight train of thought.  “Oh baby, we knew this was coming, and yeah it's a daunting now that it's here, but I would never ask you to give up on those dreams for any reason.  It’s another one of those things that makes me love you," his other hand frames your face, his eyes boring into yours, "Did you hear that? I. Love. You. Forgetting you is simply not possible. Do you think I hand out custom butt plugs to everyone I’ve dated? No. You are so unique and such an amazing human.  And no, I wouldn’t give up my dreams, but I would follow you anywhere and carry anything for you. So instead of what-if-ing, let's see what they actually said,” his deep voice has a calming effect on your nerves. 

You open the phone, then shove it over to him, “You read it, I’m too nervous.”

He nods, licking his lips. He is nervous too. He scans the email. 

“They want you baby,” he smiles up at you.

“What?!” you snatch the phone from him. The email says you are the primary applicant for the Antarctica position you interviewed for last February. They want you on the winfly to prep the station for the austral summer influx.  Your contract would run until February with an option for longer should you choose. Because of quarantine procedures and mandatory training you will have to leave in two weeks. They want an answer in 48 hours. 

“Oh fuck, two weeks, I thought I’d have longer than that.” You look up at him with tears threatening.  You don’t even know how to feel; elated? sad? scared?  “Should I tell them yes?” you ask, all nerves.

“Um, you had better! You would never forgive yourself or me if you didn’t,” he knows you so well.

“Fuck, you are right. I would end up so pissed if I told them no," you realize that saying no for him would drive an inevitable wedge between you, "I guess I’m going to Antarctica!” the excitement starts to seep into the cracks left behind by the anxiety.  

“I’m so excited for you! You are gonna crush it!” he grabs your face and plants a kiss on your lips, then pulls you close for a hug. 

“I’m going to miss you so much though babe,” you say into his chest. 

“Kitten, it’s not even a year, we can handle that. Besides,  in this day and age, it’s nothing. I’ll call you all the time,” he tries to reassure you. 

You pull away from him, forehead crinkled and look him dead in the eye. 

“Oh, Austin, there is no cell service there. They barely have internet. That’s why I’m scared you’ll …. “ you let your sentence fade off. It’s stupid, the idea he’ll forget you, but the fear of losing him is bigger than you ever wanted it to be. This is why you have not gotten involved with anyone for so long. Fear of losing... again.  

“Ok then, we will do it old school and I’ll write you letters,” he smiles, undeterred, “and if they don’t have mail I’ll use a carrier penguin.” 

This makes you crack a smile. 

“Kitten, something you may not have realized about me, when I fall in love, I do it hard. And nothing and no one is going to change how I feel about you,” his hands are cradling your face, thumbs wiping away stray tears, “got it baby?” 

You just nod, holding his hand to your cheek. 

He kisses you lovingly and sweetly, then deeper more passionate but still tender. He pushes you onto your back, rolling on top of you. His weight comforting as his tongue gently explores your mouth. He kisses you until all the anxiety is washed away, replaced with pure undiluted Austin. 

“Do you want me, Kitten?” he whispers, pressing his stiff cock against your thigh, ”can I make love to you?” 

“Please yes,” you whisper back, legs spreading to make room for his hips. His mouth is on your neck, kissing and gently sucking as his hardness finds its way inside you, filling you. It feels so blissfully good. He moves in you in this sweet, gentle way. He is unhurried.  Each instroke is strangely soothing to your soul. Things have been so surreal in the world, but this, this moment, is as real as it gets. 

In the morning, you get an appointment with your therapist. You hadn’t needed a session in a while. She is, luckily, available because of the time difference. You give her the rundown of the situation and how those self-destructive thoughts surfaced again.

She talks about how something so traumatic never really leaves you, and it’s normal that they arise from time to time, triggered by similar strong emotions. You talk about Austin, about how deeply in love you are with him, how you are afraid of losing him,  all the things he did and said when you were having your breakdown. 

“You have come so far from the girl who first told me she would rather die than fall in love again. He sounds like a good one. Have you told him about what happened?” She asks. 

“Not exactly, he knows I was in an accident, he knows I was engaged. But not the whole story, it’s just not come up,” you say. 

“You should tell him, give him some context for your fears,” she suggests. 

You nod, she has a point. 

After you end the session, you and Austin facetime to your Uncle Roy. He agrees to let Austin stay in the apartment rent free. 

“I like that there is someone there during the pandemic” Uncle Roy says, “plus Austin is like family now.”  Just as he says that, Marissa walks in.

“Daddy, can I borrow the…” she looks at the screen, “Why are you watching an interview with Austin Butler?” 

Oh shit. 

You whisper, ‘Marissa’ to Austin. He raises his eyebrows as if to say, ‘you ready for this?’

Well, here goes nothing! 

“Hey Mar!” you pop your head into view. 

“It’s your cousin and her boyfriend in the Aussie apartment,  Mari Bear,” your uncle has no idea that the cat is out of the bag. He doesn’t even know there is a cat OR a bag. 

Marissa just stares at the screen, mouth agape as Austin puts his arm around you so you can  both fit into the phone screen. 

“Wait, YOU’RE THE FRENCH WOMAN?! How the hell!!” She squeals, grabbing her phone. 

“Put the phone DOWN Mari!” you say threateningly. Mari freezes. “Uncle Roy, thank you so much for being so cool about this, I need to talk with Mari girl to girl  for a second.”

“You two and all your girl talk, since you were kids,” he waves his hand, shrugs and steps out of the room. You step away from Austin. 

“Listen Mar,” you voice lowered conspiratorially, “we are not ready to go public with this so if you or anyone you know or that follows you even so much as hint that you know the identity of the ‘French woman’, anywhere online and I will 1. Never you let you meet Austin in person and 2. I will tell EVERYONE about what happened at the lake and I mean everyone.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Mar gasps, looking around to make sure her dad isn’t near. 

“Like hell I wouldn’t. That is how important this is to me, and yes, I still have the negatives,” you remind her.  

“Okay, Okay! Well when you are out, can I have a big reveal for my channel?” She asks, trying to bargain. 

“How about this, if you keep fucking quiet, we will set you up with his publicist and we will work something out.” you say, walking back to Austin, giving him a thumbs up. 

“Holy fuck, I’m freaking out right now!” Mari exclaims as you lean up against Austin.

He gives her a little finger-tip wave.

“Hey Marissa, nice to meet you. Thanks for keeping this on the DL, for us. We really appreciate it,” he says in his interview voice,  giving her a winning smile. 

“Oh, of course Mr. Butler,” she is all flustered. 

“It’s just Austin, but thank you,” he nods his head. 

Once you get off the phone, you glance at Austin. 

“You handled that well, what did you say to keep her quiet?” giving you a side eye.

“Well, I’ve been handling Mar our whole lives. I love her cuz she’s family, but she has trouble with boundaries. I have dirt on her that she doesn’t want out. And um…  I told her we’d hook her channel  up with your publicist when, and if, we are ready.” 

“Hmm, alright, I’m not sure how she will feel about that, but we can talk,” he says. 

“Yeah, oh fuck, I didn’t think, will your publicist follow her socials? I won’t be able to with no internet,” you ask. 

I will call her later and we will talk about it,” he smiles at you.

For the next two weeks, any time not spent  filling out forms and packing things either for storage or Antarctica is spent with Austin. He still studies Elvis every day, not wanting to lose his momentum. You try to find the right time to tell him more about what happened with your ex, but it never seems right. You cook together, watch some of your favorite movies, you take moonlight walks on the beach and the sex… oh my god the sex. 

You have been trying out your hand at mixed drinks for the past several nights. Tonight is gin night. You have about a week until you leave.  You are both on your way to being tipsy, having tried a  Tom Collins  then Negronis. You had just made two shaken gin martinis and  clinked them together, feeling super fancy.

“I have a prezzie-prize for you babe,” you say, feeling goofy. You reach into your bag and pull out a post mailer. “I had the mail wrap it for you.” You giggle at your own joke and hand it to him. 

“OH! A present! For me!!” he exclaims, being silly himself.

He tears open the package. It’s two pairs of Meundies boxer briefs. The first one has martini glasses with the words ‘extra dirty’ on them. Two little olives are cuddling in the glasses with a little heart over their heads. Yeah, you might’ve timed this with your drinks on purpose. He looks at the second pair and then at you.

“You didn’t” he says. You just nod with a huge grin on your face They are light blue and covered in unicorns with rainbow manes and tails, just like your favorite panties. He just laughs and hugs you to him. “I love them hunny."

He insists that you two go up to the rooftop with your drinks. 

You grab blankets and toss your drinks into to-go cups with lids. There are no lights up there, just the ambient light of the city. He stands there looking out over the ocean, sipping his drink. You slip under his arm. It’s a little chilly, maybe 15C, the breeze from the ocean making it feel a little colder. 

“I know I’m a little drunk, but I want the world to know that I love you, Kitten.” He kisses you softly,  then holds his drink up and yells at the top of his lungs “I, Austin Butler, love this woman right here!”  

A distant ‘good for you! Now shut up!’ bounces off the buildings.  

You giggle as he sits on one of the lounge chairs, laughing. He draws you down on his lap, straddling him. 

“I love you too, so much it kinda hurts,” you admit.

“Hurts? No, no baby,” he shakes his head, putting his drink down, ”I don’t want you to hurt, only feel good. Here let me kiss it and make it better.” He leans forward filling both his hands with your breasts and plants a kiss in the middle of your chest, on your heart. 

Your fingers play in his hair as you lean down and breathe deep the scent of him in the cool night air. Filing it away in your memory as best you can. 

“All your kisses make me better, darlin’,” you mutter, kissing the top of his head, feeling the gin seep into your brain.

He takes your cup and sets it down next to his.  You wrap the blankets you brought around you both. He cradles your jaw and your lips meet.  You moan against his closed mouth, inhibitions evaporating. You are both just a little clumsy from the alcohol, but the ‘whiskey kisses’ are divine.  

“You are so hot Kitten.  I had a dream the other day that I fucked you up here,” he murmurs against your lips, hand rubbing against your clothed crotch. 

“You dream about me?” you had no idea.

“Oh yeah, all the time. Why do you think I wake you up with my cock so often. Damn, I’m gon’ miss that,” he presses his face to your breasts. 

“Tell me your dream, baby,” you cradle his head against you. 

“I was young Elvis,” he leans back looking into your neckr eyes, “and you were an adoring fan, sittin’ on my lap just like this, arms around me, only you had on a little skirt with nothing on under.  The sun was sinking and you glowed as I slipped into you. And now I’m gonna slide into you right here,” he says, “make you a puddle in my lap.” His hands undo your bra under your shirt with only two tries. His lips and teeth are against you. 

Your insides clench tight, juices starting to flow. 

“I would be disappointed if you didn’t,” you say, rocking back and forth onto his swelling bulge. His hands slide into the waistband of your pants. You try to get your pants off of one leg. In your haste and clumsiness, you end up falling off his lap onto the grass, taking the blankets with you. You both start laughing. 

He helps you up and you wiggle out of your pants. You straddle him again, re-settling the blankets around you both. His hand slips up your shirt to palm your breast in circles, watching your brow furrow in desire and your teeth capture your bottom lip. He gives you a naughty little grin and lifts your shirt over your tits. Gathering your breasts together with both hands, he licks your nipples. The cold air makes the flesh pucker. He pulls one into his mouth sucking hard, making you drop your head back and moan. Your hands curl up into his long hair, grasping him to you. His tongue is like fire licking your belly. 

Your hands push between your bodies, unfastening his fly and reaching to pull him out. He helps, his big cock already stiff and upright. 

“Do you see what you do to me, my beautiful Enchantress?” he motions to his cock, “Even tipsy as I am, I’m hard as hell for you.” 

“What I do? Feel what you do to me,” you lift up to give him space to reach between your legs. “My god Austin, just the mention of putting that gorgeous cock in me, made my cunt drip in anticipation. I want you so desperately.” 

He slips his dexterous digits between your folds. 

“Oh fuck baby, you are one horny minx aren’t you,” the corners of his beautiful mouth curl up and his demon gazes up at you. He begins to curl his fingers, finding the spongy, rough section on your front wall.

You are shaking, not from cold, but from eagerness. You love him inside you; want him like this always; always inside you somehow; always wanting you.  Your juices run in a runnel down his fingers and into his palm. Low moans flow from you.

“Oh my god,” you cry out, louder than you meant to. 

“Now, now Kitten, Are you gonna be quiet for me?” he asks.

“No,” your tipsy self answers honestly with a little giggle.

"Well that guy," he points over his shoulder, "might yell at you." 

"Fuck that guy," you shrug.

"No thanks, I'd rather fuck you." He pulls you into a passionate kiss. You grind your pussy into his hand.

Suddenly you are both overcome with desire. 

“Get that cock in me,” your tone demanding against his lips. 

He nods, holding himself by the base as you lift up. He positions himself at your opening and you grind down onto him in circles. Your moans mingle in your kiss.

The little pocket between you where his cock had been lying in wait, was chilly, despite all the blankets wrapped around you two. He feels cool inside you, so you can only imagine how warm you must feel to him. 

“Oh yes,” he moans, the alcohol hindering his usual verbal restraint, ”take all that cock like a good girl.” 

He feels so good inside you.

“Aw, I like being naughty though,” you retort, smiling at him and sliding up and back down onto him, wetness covering his cock.

“Who’s naughty Kitten are you then?” he asks, his voice deep.

“Well, let me see…” you joke, continuing to ride him. 

He tightens his grip on your hips, stopping your movement. 

“Who’s are you?” his eyes are suddenly serious and piercing. The tipsiness slows your brain just  enough that you don’t see the insecurity in his face until he thrusts hard and deep into you, bringing your senses into sharp focus. 

“Oh fuck,” is all you can say. 

“Who’s dirty girl are you?” he asks, louder, thrusting again. 

“I’m yours, baby,” looking into his eyes and finally seeing his seriousness.  

“Who owns this dripping, hot, wet, pussy?” each descriptor punctuated by a hard thrust into you.

“Oh Fuck, you do!” it would hurt if you weren’t so fucking turned on. 

“Who does?” he asks

“You do Austin. It’s your pussy.” 

“That’s right,” his voice is raspy, as he pulls your hair out of your face,  “You are MY naughty little Kitten. My dirty girl. All Mine!” 

“All yours baby,“ you say, rocking him in and out of you, “All yours to finger, to suck and lick, all yours to pound, yours to play with.” 

You press yourself close to his chest, pulling blankets up and around you both again. “Please, please don’t stop fucking me.” 

“Never,” he says through clenched teeth. 

His hands grips your legs, his hips raising and lowering his cock in and out of you. Your hand is braced behind his neck, forehead to forehead. He is steadily fucking you. 

“Oh god, I love it, I love that,” you moan in his ear, unable to stop words spilling out your mouth. 

Your knees are sliding wider and wider apart, wanting him deep, wanting him to slam into your clit with each thrust.

“Your pussy, your pussy, your pussy”, flows out your mouth. 

You are so close to the breech, mouth open. He can tell you are close so he quickens his pace. Your top teeth sink into the fleshy part of his shoulder, pussy clenching down.

“Oh Kitten, my dirty girl, I love fucking you,” his voice husky and low. His hips jerking roughly into you. 

 “Oh god, yeeeeessss,” you scream, arching back, his words triggering pelvic spasms around the stiff rod he is torturing you with. A closed-mouth high-pitched wail sounds out your nose as you gyrate on his cock through an orgasm.

 Even if you wanted to, you can’t stop your hips from moving, jerking,  grinding onto him.

“You’re so fucking perfect baby, cumming on my cock like that. God damn,” even through your orgasm you recognize the deep desire in his voice. 

He lifts you off of him.

“Nononono don’t stop” you whine.

“Never, baby,” he slides his legs to either side as he pushes you back to lie on the foot of the lounge, the blankets behind you. You don’t even feel the cold. Your legs are  up by his shoulders, throbbing pussy exposed and open to him. 

“Do you want my cum?” he asks, his voice harsh with desire, his fingers flicking across your clit.

“Yes, yes, yes,” is your breathy reply, 

“Say it, Kitten. Do you want my cum?” he asks again, placing the tip of his glorious self at your opening.

“Fuck yes I want your cum Austin, please, I need your cock in me, fuck me please” you beg, your filter totally gone. “Please give me all your cum right here,” you tap out little slaps on your pussy. 

With you so lascivious under him, so lustful with need, he can’t hold back.  With a groan, he immerses himself in you. Immediately charging towards his own orgasm with fervor, hands on your shoulders, pulling you towards him. 

“Oh God,  fuck,  you make me cum so good! You make me cum so good! You make me cum so good!” your strings of words getting higher in pitch, on the brink of cumming against his onslaught. His hands slide to either side of your head. Forcing you to look at him. 

“Who’s pussy’s gonna cum?” he says through gritted teeth. His head is still, but his hips are pitching into you with such force, only his hands on your head keep the vision of him from being a total blur.

“Your pussy, baby, yours. You fuck your pussy so good, so good, so good, so fucking good.” Like a deluge of water dropping on you all at once, another orgasm slams into you, making you writhe under him, teeth imprinting onto his hand to muzzle the sound of your screaming. 

“That’s my girl. Cream that cock, dirty girl, fuck you feel so good,” he moans. Crest after crest of your orgasm seizes his cock, bringing him closer to baptizing you in his cum. 

“Who’s dirty girl are you?” he urges, wanting to possess you.

“I’m your d-d-d-d-dirty girl, I’m your dirty girl,” you stutter and moan out as you ride the wave of shivering pleasure. “Give me your cum. I want it, I want it in me!”

“It’s yours baby, it’s your cum, only for you Kitten,” he is pounding you hard, fast, head tucked down into your neck and shoulder.  "Oh Fuuuuuck, yessss!”  hisses out of him as he pushes deep and fills your pussy. “Oh  Gawawawad!” his whole body seizes on top of you.

Your arms and legs clutch him to you.  You are overwhelmed with emotion, everything you’ve been holding back about leaving welling up with your enormous orgasm.  

He  sits back in the lounge chair and pulls you and the blankets against him. You don’t realize it at the time, but his deep shaky breaths are hiding his own emotional overwhelm.  

After a while,  how long you can’t say as time feels fake,  you are curled up against Austin half naked, both of you calmer and somewhat less drunk. 

“Are you awake Kitten?” he ventures quietly and a bit nervously. 

“Yeah,” you answer, sensing something is off, “you ok?” 

“I, uh, I need to say something and um… I don’t want you to take it wrong,” he begins.

You sit up in his lap to look him in the face, suddenly terrified of what he is going to say.

“If you are breaking up with me…” your mind falls to the worst thing you can think of at that moment.

“What? NO! No, no!” he interrupts you, a look of horror on his face as he grips your outstretched hands. 

“Jesus,” your eyes close and you breathe a sigh, “what is wrong with me?” you mutter to yourself. You know what is wrong, it's time to tell him. 

“Oh babe,” he cups your check, “there is nothing wrong with you or with us. I just need to…” He hesitates.” Ok, there is a part of me that is so excited for you to live your dream. But there is also a chunk of me that doesn’t want you to go,” his forehead creases and furrows as he admits this to you. “And to be clear, I’m not asking you to give it up, I just need to be honest and present with my feelings. I know it’s a scary pandemic world right now, but I wouldn’t trade this time with you for anything. I’ve fallen so hard for you, I don’t know how I’m gonna do this without you. And what if you meet someone else? I know it’s stupid but you’ll be down there so far away and I can’t call. That's why the possessive stuff during... “ he bites his lip. ”What if… I have this weird fear that what if what we are feeling for each other doesn't translate to being apart? What if we can’t do this?"

You reach up, smoothing his forehead with your thumb. You hadn't realize he was feeling insecure too.  

“Same baby,” you say simply, “on all accounts.  I am excited AND I don’t want to leave. I’m also terrified that you will find someone else in the months that I am gone, I mean you are a sexy heartthrob of a man in the public eye, women and men must fall at your feet. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope without you either. I’m just hoping that we will both be so busy we won’t have time to dwell on it. And, I like being your dirty girl." you smile. 

"Listen Baby, I need to tell you this,  just so you have some context," you take a deep breath and forge ahead, "Do you remember I told you about the guy I used to flip houses with,” Austin nods, his face intent with listening. “Well, we were engaged when I had my accident and when he found out that I couldn't have kids, he came to the hospital the next day and broke it off. He said he didn’t want to drag it out, but that kids were the priority for him and he didn't want to waste any time finding the real mother of his children."

Austin looks appalled by this. You just nod.

"I was crushed, I was nothing but a baby factory in his eyes.  By the time I was out of the hospital, he had moved out of our apartment,  divided our holdings in half and left with no forwarding address or number. IHis family wouldn't take my calls. I didn’t get the chance to have any closure.  I slipped into a deep depression, feeling no self worth.  I started cutting myself just to feel something, anything. "

"Oh baby," Austin strokes your hands, empathy and concern on his face.

" Yeah, it was bad. I had a lot of therapy and meds. I slowly realized the gift of getting away from him, he would have never loved me for me. The continent thing was born when I started my own remodeling business, initially as a way to get away from that past. It grew into a passion. This dream has healed me in so many ways. I became an independent, curious, educated citizen of the world again.  It allowed me to meet you. I didn't think I’d ever let anyone this close to me again, but with you it was so damn easy I didn’t have to think twice.

“So yeah, I am afraid of losing you and I’m sorry I let my insecurity jump to conclusions. Will our relationship stand being apart? Babe, there is only one way to find out and it’s walking towards our fears.”

He nods again. You take another breath, and grab both his hands.

“I do know this: I’ve been ‘around’,” you admit, “ I’ve dated a fair number of people, and, honestly I’ve slept with a fair few more. Not one of them holds a candle to you,  to how you make me feel, the things you do to me. I have never before found what we have right here,” you move your clasped  hands up to each of your hearts. “I had given up on trying to find someone, until you. I am in awe of you Austin Butler and it blows me away that you consent to be with me.” 

“Consent? Kitten, I WANT to be with you. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all  that, especially the cutting, that can be hard to share.  I see why you responded the way you did, it makes a lot of sense. You have been through so much, seen so much of the world and have done it with grace and kindness and strength. You are amazing and brave and so fucking sexy. I will state for the record that I don’t care if you can’t have kids.  I want YOU, just as you are. You bring parts of me out that I didn’t know I had and I can’t keep my hands off you. I’m not going to deny the ego boost of getting that kind of attention from the public but at the end of the day it’s not fulfilling. It’s not THIS, “ he grips your hands back, “I am astonished that YOU are willing to be with ME, and I just want to be enough for you.”

“We are a pair, aren’t we,” you chuckle, shaking your head, “here we are worried about the same things, and each of us feeling insecure about not being good enough for the other, yet so over the moon about one another.”

“Well when you put it that way….yeah, “ he smiles, “I think we need to tell our insecurities to shut the fuck up and agree that we are more than enough. See through love’s eyes, instead of fear’s.”

“One hundred percent agree,” you smile at him, “and however we end up communicating over the next 7 months, let’s just be as honest as we can with each other. I mean if we decide it isn’t working, I’d rather not be delusional.”

“I don’t like to think about that, but I’d much rather be honest, so yeah,” he nods his head.  

“And,” you put your forehead to his, “I will make this promise to you: once Antarctica is over and I finish Tom and Rita’s, if you still want me, I will follow you to the ends of the earth.” 

“Take out the insecure ‘if you still want me’ part and it’s a deal,” he smiles at you.

“OK,” you breathe, starting over, “once Antarctica is over and I finish in Greece, I promise I will follow you to the ends of the earth.” 

“Not unless I follow you first babe,” he pulls you into a sweet kiss, hand on your chin. 

[fishboneart]

Fishbone #001

I might do maybe little artjournal reflection blogs about process and feeling, maybe for every fishbone, maybe not, but I'll tuck them under a readmore when I do

So this is where it starts. 42 source images, 47 layers. I manually isolated all 36 of those fucked up hands and I complained about it the WHOLE time. I even made jokes about wishing the computer would do it for me, and I know I probably could actually get an app for that, but the point is to do it myself. Also like, what if it fixed them? That would be worse.

I like the idea of a creature in the machine that gets really excited about teeth, fingers, legs, because it doesn't have them. It made something for you, a deer with five legs, a pony tail, and fractal antlers. It got so hype about the antlers. I made you this, I made you this, I made you this.

That's not at all how this works, see my previous post re statistics and teeth, it's somewhere near the bottom. But that's the story I put in the collage. That, and its "mind" is a complex repeating pattern, but then again aren't we all.

I've rapidly developed a perverse appreciation for the defects in ML images. The person who posted the gem girl expressed disappointment about the artifact over the eye as a glitch that ruined the image, I thought it was her best feature. Without it she'd be just another bland, vapid, shiny, girl-shaped arrangement of pixels. And hey if you want to make bland vapid shiny girl-pictures, life your life as you see fit. I just think she's more interesting with a glitch. Different strokes.

The T&A guys don't care about fucked up hands and shit, as long as the T's and A's are improbably large and perfectly spherical they're happy. I find so many interesting artifacts in their pics. I saw one a while back where the guy was like "ignore her third leg lol" and she had two navels. They're doing wonders for my sense of anatomy and proportion, because they've never heard of either and they don't care, and apparently looking at enough of that weirdness is helping me to see how it's wrong.

Anyway, I reckon Andrew "holy shit that's his real name" S‎pi‎t‎tle is blowing smoke up Matt "poast moar" Photo's ass. The statement from Andrew "8 years a Happiness Engineer" S‎p‎itt‎‎le, Mattland head of AI, and the leaked FAQ section I sure hope he had to approve in his capacity as same, display less understanding of how machine learning works than I possess, and I only started really learning about it fucking yesterday. I don't know how he got this job but I am convinced he's not a machine learning researcher. He's seemingly never published anything about machine learning, not on his blogs, not on his medium, not on the internet under his own name, nor publicly claimed a single relevant credential. "Happiness Engineer" is Mattspeak for "customer service" btw. No shade to CS workers, I've been one of those, but it doesn't qualify me for head of the department of fuck or shit.

I hereby promote myself to Fishbone Head of Going the Fuck to Bed.

[andypantsx3]

so i re-read vested interest (probably for the billionth time. i’m the same anon that asked about magma girl and shouto’s beef a few months back) and i have yet another question 😭 i’m sorry if you’re sick of seeing all these *specific* vested interest questions, but i am genuinely curious and interested (no pun intended) especially towards your works.

anyway, reader in vested interest always seemed to have their shit together (because they’re that bad b that has a plan a, b, c, d, and so on and so forth)

but i read somewhere in the story that it took reader “months to be happy again” according to shouto (please correct me if i’m wrong) so i just wonder how that looked, i guess? how obvious was that to shouto? did shouto find out that his *highkey* love of his life was single himself? especially since reader in the story’s very private when it came to things like love (it’s obvious with how she desperately tried to take her attention off of shouto when it was “unnecessary” even when shouto liked it lol)

i’d also ask how he reacted to reader being single again, but i’d imagine that he was secretly victory dancing over her being single again, but also very comforting towards reader since she just broke up with her boyfriend and is experiencing that “post breakup sadness” (and i’m pretty sure the second part is actually said in the fic itself)

tl;dr: reader’s pretty private with their own business, so i was wondering how it looked like when she was still trying to get over her breakup, and if shouto found out about the breakup through context clues, an actual conversation with reader, or were his y/n senses tingling, and he found out through that?

anyways, i’m so sorry that this ask is pretty long, and if this doesn’t make sense at all, but i just LOVE everything you’ve written, and i end up *accidentally* creating new questions with every re-read 😭 i hope you have a great day/afternoon/night!

OMG no!! I'm so beyond honored you've reread it and that you're asking me all these questions. One of my fave things about being a fic writer is getting to look at my works through a reader's lens, hearing your questions and your theories on the things I wrote and the things I didn’t! (And I especially love how retroactively bisexual some of you have made my fics lmao.)

Because I wrote vested interest Shouto as so observant and attentive when it comes to Reader, I like to think he intuited it, at first. Maybe Reader comes in the morning after the break up just a tiny bit frazzled. She forgets one small thing in her routine, like stopping for a coffee the way she usually does, and Shouto comes into her office and zeroes in on the empty desk space her coffee cup usually occupies. He doesn't say anything about it, just talks through their morning business as usual, noting the small changes in her demeanor; the slight downturn to her mouth, the strain around her eyes, and he knows without her saying that something has happened.

And that's where his incessant need to ply her with food and coffee that we see throughout the fic starts. If she's not going to take proper care of herself, he's going to. He goes out and gets her a takeout cup of coffee, comes back and drops it on her desk without saying anything, just asks an innocuous question about his schedule in his low, even tone. He doesn't press, doesn't need to know right now, but he wants to signal somehow that he's there for her.

Only later in the week does he catch a strain of idle office gossip, from some of the girls in the office kitchenette, that Hiroji had dumped Reader. And there's a rush, a roar in his ears, a surge of hope and possessiveness that he can't fight down, no matter how little he cares to see Reader hurt. He struggles to keep his face carefully blank, as he stuffs away his takeout soba in the office fridge.

Because there is finally a chance, now. Reader is finally single, for the first time since he met her.

And all he has to do now is watch, and wait.

[taemin-spill-the-tea]

Kpop fic recommandantions (through bingo)

I decided to do the fic rec bingo. Excuses in advance for the super long post. 

The most recenty read fic: A lot like love and Loey

Ship: Chanbaek

Summary: Where single father Chanyeol has no idea why anyone sane enough would sit outside under the falling snow, but Loey loves Baekhyun, and he thinks that's enough.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16791604

A fic that made me cry: 10080

Ship: Chanbaek

Summary: Chanyeol wanted a divorce. Baekhyun asked for a week.

Link: https://exobubz.livejournal.com/929.html

The longest fic: Acquired taste

Ship: Chanbaek

Summary: Baekhyun believed it was Henri Matisse who said that "creativity takes courage." Thomas Merton stated that "art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." As a young painter still in learning, Baekhyun's only profound and memorable quote so far is "Fuck you, Park Chanyeol, for using every opportunity you get to ruin my fucking life."

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22915615/chapters/59247361#workskin

A fic I almost didn’t read: Where dreams come true (ongoing)

Ships: Seonghwa/Hongjoong - San/Wooyoung - Yunho/Mingi - Yeosang/Jongho

Summary:  Working at Disney World seems magical on the surface. Working there with people like this is not something any of them had in mind. In other words, the Happiest Place on Earth isn’t what they expected.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530529/chapters/61944745

A fic that made me check out the author’s other works: My heart is glowing fluroscent (I want you to possess it)

Ship: Woosan

Summary: Jung Wooyoung has considered himself fairly lucky, having an easy life and just going with the flow. So when he reluctantly agrees to a Master/Pet partnership with Brat Tamer Choi San to help his best friend pay off a debt, he begins to wonder if that luck has run out.Yet, despite all his preconceived notions, Wooyoung soon learns which of the two is truly in control. And as time passes he finds himself not only enjoying the role he plays, but also the man who set out to tame him.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26742952/chapters/66452752#workskin

A fic I’d like to be a movie: licenced to survive & on melochony hill

Licenced to survive: 

Ship: Woosan

Summary: “I’m San,” San says, voice dropping in a force of habit, something that has latched onto him from years of living the same humdrum life and his lifelong acquaintance with introducing himself to people who truly didn't give a fuck about him or anything he did, introductions serving merely as a necessary evil.The stranger looks at him for a brief moment before he tilts the disinfectant bottle into the ball of cotton, soaking it as he leans forward and presses it against San’s stitches. San grabs his wrist.“I’m gonna need a name before you treat me, pretty boy,” San says, making sure that it doesn’t come off sounding like a request.The stranger raises his head to meet his eyes, something like sadness pooling in his eyes, smudged black and purple distracting San for the umpteenth time this evening and whispers softly, “Wooyoung.”It’s a pretty name for a pretty face, but San is presented with an even prettier smile, shy and curling at the edges of his mouth, lilac field for his hair and cherry blossom cheeks, as he repeats it under his breathe 

          Or, San is working in the task force as a mercenary for an intergalactic                law enforcement authority, and Wooyoung's the anomaly he doesn't see              coming.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23825965/chapters/57250096

For “on melocholy hill” see A favorite side character

A fic I have re-read: A prize to be claimed

Ship: Chanbaek

Summary:  Baekhyun didn’t think much of it when Chanyeol, his childhood nemesis, won a tournament held by their pack. That is, until said nemesis demanded him as a prize.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17394146/chapters/44797411#workskin

A fic from my to read list: Kissed by fire

Ship: Chanbaek

Summary:  It is with the introduction of a mischievous, red-haired wildling that Chanyeol’s loyalty to the Night’s Watch really starts to crumble.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10884300/chapters/24186225

A pwp: you make my heart (go!)

Ship: Lumark

Summary:  There's a lot you can find out during never have I ever, and for Mark that includes finding out your best friend is a virgin in every sense of the word. So, what else was he supposed to do other than help Yukhei find out just how good his body can feel? But, what happens when feelings are thrown into the mix?

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16305581?view_adult=true

A favorite side character: Heechul and Junmyeon in “On melancholy hill”

Ship: Chanbaek

Summary:  Something strange is happening in town and it's up to Baekhyun to find out what it is. It's easier said than done — especially with the new necromancer threatening to take over his job.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15053624/chapters/34898414#workskin

A fic with my favorite trope: My constellation is a fragment of the sun (ongoing)

Ship: Woosan

Summary:  All Jung Wooyoung wanted to do was spend his Christmas drinking hot chocolate and drawing by the fire. That all changes after the Jung family is invited to the castle for Ardendall’s Royal Christmas Ball. Being sent out as representation for the Jung pack, Wooyoung is stuck in the Palace for a month. But Wooyoung knows that the Ball is just an excuse for the Crown Prince to choose his mate. And he has no desire in becoming that person.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28147851/chapters/68968428

A fic with a trope that I don’t usually read: In the eyes of the beholder

Ship: Chanbaek

Summary:  Chanyeol’s hiding a secret that Baekhyun already knows. He can be rather stubborn about it, but watching your husband struggle with a condition like this on his own has never been easy either.

Link: https://yeolliepopday.livejournal.com/39203.html

A fic set in a different time: bluebirds in the moonlight

Ship: Chanbaek

Summary: Chanyeol stood at the front for three years. Morocco, Italy, Normandy, Germany and that folded paper was still there, inside his pocket. The photo that, even if crumpled and deprived of any color, showed a smile more dazzling than any rainbow. The smile of his first love, the beautiful florist that gave Chanyeol a reason to keep on fighting for his life. “Come back to me, Chanyeol” And he did, because he hadn't confessed his love yet.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18936796/chapters/44958520

A fic with a nonhuman character: It’s you 

Ship: Chanbaek

Summary: In which Chanyeol is a beta in love with an omega way out of his league.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24513703?view_adult=true 

A pwp that made me infested in the plot: late flights & city lights

Ship: Lumark

Summary: Mark doesn’t splutter, doesn’t choke- fights against the urge to tug Yukhei down by the collar of his shirt and wipe that irritatingly attractive smirk off of his face. He holds fast against the scarlet blush tinting his cheeks and ears, ignores the heat sweeping across his neck and collarbones. Stubborn and unyielding, Mark doesn’t want to give Yukhei the satisfaction of seeing his effect.Yeah, that lasts about 0.2 seconds, because Mark is so focused on not reacting that he doesn’t realize he’s not breathing.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17791538

A fic based on a book/movie: and miles to go before I sleep (ongoing)

Ship: Lumark

Summary: Mark Lee is, in theory, the perfect candidate to pilot a Jaeger. He's at the top of his class, his drop scores are second to none, and he can recite fifty ways to take down a kaiju with his eyes closed. There's only one problem: he can't Drift with anyone. All of that changes when a washed-up pilot from Hong Kong knocks on the doors of the Jeju Shatterdome.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20955737/chapters/49824203

[obaewankenope]

TW FOR SELF HARM:. After reading your last writing I went feral over the idea of Crowley disappearing for periods of time and Az worrying about him so consider Crowley starts seeming more and more bedraggled and snippy every time they see each other, then doesn't show up to the bookstore for a few weeks. Az worries more and more until he gets hit with a train of pain and misery and realizes that Crowley is depressed and in danger. Az finds Crowley in his flat, feathers ripped out and eyes wild-

-wild, in a full blown panic attack. Crowley won’t let Az near him so he has to calm the demon down from afar. Eventually it comes out that all this is because Crowley hates what he is (demon/fallen angel) due to what Hell and Heaven have done and simply wants the pain and misery to end. He had hoped that with his ugly black feathers gone, he could find redemption or, at least, peace. ~fucker

You, you are a monster and I love it so much omg ps go and shout at iggysfanblog for this Angsty AF Fic lmao

Trigger warning: self-harm, mutilation, wing abuse, depression, suicidal ideation, suicidal apathy.

.

Angelof the crooked wings

Title comes from Antiphon forthe Angels by Hildegard VonBingen

Crowley has always hated his job. Not because he’sa bad demon—sort of the job description, being bad—but because he’s not alwaysin the mood to commit Evil Acts and Evil Acts only. He’s a good Tempter and an evenbetter Thinker Upper Of Plans but being a demon didn’t give him thoseskills or make him so good at them. Neither had being an angel. They were justpart of him; Crowley. The core personality so to speak. Everything else wasjust dressings and trimmings to make him look Fancier and Mightier and Holierand Unholier depending on the uniform required for the job.

Once upon a time he’d had white wings—to the humaneye at least; they were really every colour in existence because angels wereeverything too—and he’d found them to be both beautiful and very constrictingin a confusing way. It’s an absurd feeling when one has wings capable offlight, but one Crowley feels, nonetheless. For celestial and infernal beings,feeling trapped when possessing wings is about as crazy as defying heaven andhell to preserve one little mudball full of evolved monkeys. 

Naturally then, Crowley excels at it in the sameway he excels at saving humanity; disastrously.

Read on AO3 or below:

Fallinghad been an impulsive act by Crowley; sort of a “maybe this will change thisfeeling” kind of thinking. To be fair, it had. It’d changed a lot of otherthings—turning his wings black had been an aesthetic choice to hide the faintscarring from the ten-thousand-mile free-fall and the boiling sulphur he’d onlybriefly landed in [1]—butit didn’t really change the sense of feeling penned in all the time. In heavenit had been rules and regulations and expectations and not thinking or askingquestions. In hell it was the same just with a bit more give if you could liewell. 

Crowleylies exceptionally well [2].

Before the Fall, Crowley had felt like he’d beentrapped in a hamster cage that wasn’t designed for housing a rabbit. After theFall, it’d been like he’d been re-homed in a larger space that didn’t look likea cage but was. It’d just took him a little while to find the edges. Thetrapped feeling always returned. 

When Crowley had first met Aziraphale—just anotherangel in the Garden back then—he hadn’t expected the feeling of Relief that theangel had elicited in him. His wings had revealed themselves against hiswill—something he controlled ruthlessly from then on—and the angel had shieldedhim from the First Rain. The angel felt as trapped as Crowley to the demon’ssenses but, whereas Crowley was aware of his predicament, Aziraphale seemedinnocently unaware of how trapped he was. Crowley wasn’t sure such a situationwas a blessing or a curse. Six thousand years later and Crowley still isn’tsure.

The only changes from Falling for Crowley wereillusionary  at best. His eyes were aChoice He Made Himself and not a visual sign of punishment for rebelling.Crowley hadn’t rebelled, not really. He’d just taken the last train out ofheaven and hitched a free ride to hell. Desertion. That’s it. Crowley haddeserted heaven, not rebelled against it. Completely different. So he gained a new employer who was abitter ex-employee of their parent company, it was all the same in thelong-run.

From angel to demon, a simple enough transitionthat gave Crowley a little more rope with which to hang himself.

Whenever Crowley is with Aziraphale, his entirebeing is released, the trapped feeling fading away to a faint buzz rather thanthe constant klaxon sounding in his mind. Unfortunately, however, Crowley hasnever been able to just be around Aziraphale all the time.That’s why he’d come up with The Arrangement. Mutually beneficial—as it reducedtravel commitments and such—it offered Crowley the easy excuse to check in onAziraphale whenever the klaxon became Too Much. It worked fantastically enough,until 1862 when Crowley had asked the angel for holy water and set off anargument he hadn’t intended to start. Over sixty years of not seeing Aziraphalewould have been impossible for Crowley to endure had he not slept for most ofit. He’d needed the sleep to escape the klaxon that got louder and louder thelonger he didn’t see Aziraphale. But then the Blitz happened and the church andthat damned bomb and- it was like they’d never argued. It was there, of course,but it didn’t make it impossible to see each other and Crowley had dropped bythe bookshop like clockwork running on a decade chime instead of hourly. Eventhe 70s hadn’t caused more issues for them, even with the- the- what- theangel’s rebuke. Yeah…

Then it had all gone to shit when Crowley had beengiven the “honour” of delivering the End Of The World and for almost a decade,the demon had been in near constant contact with Aziraphale for an entiredecade. It had done something to him—weakened him in some inexplicable way—butit was the week before the world ended that broke him. Fightingwith Aziraphale, losing him to discorporation after threats from Hastur to killhim, facing down a wall of fire, and then his own boss—and ex-employer—didsomething that Crowley fears cannot be undone.

Something he knows cannot be undone.

Wings—now inky black by choice—itch and shiftrestlessly no matter what Crowley does. Whether he’s with Aziraphale or not,the blaring alarm of TRAPPED! TRAPPED! TRAPPED! sounds on a loop. Thesense of being caged rears its head every time a primary moves, a secondarytwitches. It’s suffocating him, leaves his heart pounding like it’s trying toescape his chest, his lungs tight and constricted by bands of steel evertightening and denying his body air.

Seeing Aziraphale makes him twitch and want to clawhis skin off, smash windows and cut into his chest and slice out his heart andjust be done with it. The urge is stronger and stronger the longer he’s aroundAziraphale after the Not End so he visits the bookshop less.

Part of it is fear, that much Crowley knows. Fearof what exactly eludes him however. Not knowing tightens the bandsacross his chest more and makes his skull feel like it’s crushing his brain asthough it was in a vice. Every time he sees his wings out of the corner of hiseye—whether they’re manifested on the physical plane or just there on theastral plane that humans aren’t really built to see or interact with—Crowleywants to hiss and swipe at them; lashing out at the one constant he’s ever hadin his life.

Hiswings may be black now but that had been an intentional choice onCrowley’s part. White was the colour of heaven. The opposite then would be forhell. White makes every colour there is, black is made of those colours; itdevours them. Perfectly fitting for a demon. But his wings are Divine and havealways been part of him; Crowley cannot remember a single moment where he didnot have them [3]. They’re a part of him thathe wants to hate because he doesn’t Belong Anywhere and they’re areminder of that fact. The once represented the Divine then Infernal and now…now they’re just There and he loathes them [4].

The first feather he tears out between moultselicits a wonderful feeling of power. It doesn’t hurt for more than amoment, feels more like a particularly sharp scratch on sensitive skin but itgrants him something Crowley hesitates to call relief. He doesn’t think there’sreally a word he can use to describe what he feels after. The second and thirdfeathers are coverts like the first, torn out after he flees the bookshop whenAziraphale gives him such an openly kind look it has Crowley’s heartpounding. It gives him just enough of a sharp slap to regain the control overhis body that slipped away. But pulling coverts is like trying to staunch anarterial wound with a tissue; it’s just Not Enough.

The first primary he plucks is… a lot more painful.Wonderfully painful. He feels like he’s torn off a fingernail with no warning.The rush of feeling that burns through him in time with the hot and coldnerve-destroying flashes is fantastical. His wing snaps close to his body,tucks itself up as small and close as it can as instinct draws the injured appendageclose to him. Crowley finds that he can tolerate his wings when they’retrembling and twitching from pain and not- not whatever they usually twitchfrom. But, all too soon, the pain fades away, magic soothing the pain andturning it to a pale, ever weakening echo of the blanked-out agony it beganas. And, just like with the coverts, he pulls more and more of them astime goes on.

Aziraphalenever comments on his state though Crowley knows he notices. It’s not hard tosee really, what with the way Crowley looks like a human that hasn’t slept in amonth; skin paler than usual and a muted grey, hair lank and messy in a waythat speaks of lack of care rather than an aesthetic choice, clothing looserand worn and frayed like they’ve never been before. Crowley also knowsthe angel can see how close to his body he tucks his wings—so tightly againsthim that it looks as though he doesn’t have them anymore when he’s stood or sata certain way. But, although the angel sees it he never directly comments,Aziraphale does make pointed comments here and there: “you look like you coulduse a drink dear, I’ll make some tea; have a new type to try that apparentlyworks wonders for when you’re feeling down”, and “well this quilt is quitewarm, too warm for myself really, why don’t you have it—I know the sofa is in adraughty spot after all” and so on. Aziraphale is unlike Crowley in regard tohis wings—the angel uses them often even if they’re not visible on the physicalplane [5].

Eventually the release he experiences from pullinga feather or two here and there isn’t enough. It’s never enough. He chased thepain that each feather results in, plucking more and more from muscle and boneand tender flesh until Crowley’s wings are wrecked and destroyed by his ownhands. Even though the pain becomes constant, his magic just not enough tocontend with the aching burn that is like an undercurrent to everything, it’snot enough. He needs more. He needs-

Bones are easy to break if you know how to go aboutit. Crowley—unfortunately—does.

*            *            *            *            *            *            *            *

Aziraphalefirst notices it about a month after the world failed to end—though it hadgiven it a good go what with the Kraken, fire and brimstone, the horsemenriding and all that stuff. Since then he’s become quite used to seeing Crowleyregularly—a new fixture in the bookshop, not unlike a particularly snippystatue that happens to walk, talk, and perform minor feats of evil for the sakeof it—compared to before the whole Influencing The Antichrist plan came about.The intermittent six thousand years of meetings here and there across the worldwere—for Aziraphale—quietly enjoyable. But when Crowley had suggested theyamend their Arrangement after the antichrist was born… Aziraphale admits nowthat he’d been tempted from the get-go [6].Throughout those eleven years Aziraphale saw Crowley regularly in the Dowlingresidence—tending to young Warlock with a surprisingly gentle manner—and thetwo immortal beings had retired to a shared cottage on the grounds; a sort oflodging house for full-time workers that had been miraculously occupied by onlythe two of them [7]. After all that,Aziraphale has to admit, he’s become quite used to Crowley always being around;so much so that when the demon starts to show up less and less, Aziraphalestarts to Worry with a capital W.

Hedoesn’t do anything about it at first, mostly because he’s not certain what he cando. Crowley is, after all, quite sensitive. Although Aziraphale will never saythat to the demon’s face—he values his books too much to offend thedemon to such a degree that Crowley would ruin several in recompense for theUnwanted Compliment—it is one of the attributes of Crowley thatAziraphale finds most appealing. That this demon is capable of committing greathorrors and instead chooses to petty temptings and chicanery to annoy humansinto choosing to sin; it is a far cry from the nature of other demonsAziraphale has met [8]. Crowley would deny itwith his last breath but the demon has a softer heart than Aziraphale everwill—the angel is quite aware that it was he and not Crowley who hadaimed a weapon at a child and hadn’t hesitated to fire after all; Aziraphale ismuch more capable of being ruthless than others would first believe [9].

Although Aziraphale doesn’t understand the appeal,he is aware that Crowley likes to sleep. Something about the lack ofconsciousness appeals to the demon just as much as drinking does—althoughAziraphale isn’t sure it’s for the same reasons. Aziraphale likes a drinkhimself—he doesn’t experience hangovers like humans, nor does his body start toshut down after too much alcohol as is the case for humans so mortifyingbehaviour is his only deterrent—but he knows Crowley uses alcohol todull his feelings. Considering how much kinder Crowley is than he should be fora demon, Aziraphale can at least comprehend why alcohol is such an appealingthing to the demon. Over the centuries, the angel has come across many a humanwho have lost themselves in their vices, trying to escape whatever haunts themin their waking hours. It is saddening to think that Crowley is like thosehumans with tortured souls.

Thedemon admitted to him once that he’d drank himself unconscious after receivinga commendation for the Spanish Inquisition [10].So it’s no surprise that Aziraphale is reasonably concerned that Crowley hasdrank himself into a stupor for some reason and that’s why he hasn’t been bythe bookshop [11]. He resolves to visit thedemon’s flat after closing the bookshop tonight—that he had never visitedbefore they averted Armageddon and he’d been homeless—and check up on Crowley.In a purely platonically friendly way of course.

However, when the wave of pain slams into him ashe’s sorting books on shelves that didn’t exist before Armageddon wascancelled, Aziraphale realises he should have acted much, much sooner.

Aziraphale is in the bookshop one moment and halfwayacross London in the next, appearing with a soft rustle of feathers in a darkflat he’s been in only once before. The pain washes through him, runs along hiswings and all the way down to the tips of his alulas, primaries and secondariesbefore it peters out in the coverts. He ignores it, rushing through the flattoward the sound of high-pitched, muffled keening that tears into the angelmore viciously than any pain ever has. The sight that greets him as he shovesthe bedroom door aside—possibly causing permanent damage to the hinges, notthat he particularly cares at that moment—is enough to stop Aziraphalein his tracks.

The sight- it would turn the stomachs of even themost soulless of demons.

There are few things that demons and angelsconsider to be sacred but wings are one of them. No angel touches anotherangel’s wings without permission. No demon harms another demon’s wings withoutpunishment. Between the two groups, injuries to wings are some of the mostserious taboo acts either side can commit in battle. Aziraphale has seen hardlymore than a dozen cases where wings have been harmed—and all of those wereduring the Rebellion led by Samael. Only She has every caused permanent harm tothe wings of her creations—the Fallen Ones—but even that harm pales incomparison to what Aziraphale sees now.

Like a bird, the wings of a Divine or Infernalcreature are delicate, designed for flight and do not take kindly tobeing injured. Although they’re delicate they can withstand a lot ofabuse—courtesy of them not being entirely physical or astral but a mixture ofthe two which enables a lot of leeway when it comes to injuries; also magic,but that’s a whole other explanation—but they do have their limits as towhat can and cannot be repaired without Divine Assistance.

Aziraphale fears that this is beyond even theDivine.

“Crowley!” Aziraphale cries out, voice soft andpained and bleeding worry. “Goodness Crowley, what happened?” 

The angel approaches the demon quickly, reachingout to gently touch him but freezes when Crowley’s entire body twitches andflinches away from him.

“Don- Don’t touch me,” Crowley weakly croaks, anarm blindly flinging itself out from his curled-up form in the corner of theroom, nails black with blood, hands stained and Aziraphale’s heart feels likeit’s breaking in two. “Don’t—please don’t.”

“Okay Crowley, okay,” Aziraphale assures the demon,carefully lowering himself onto his haunches as close to the demon as Crowleywill allow him. “Wh- what happened—if you don’t mind my asking?”

The demon chokes out a laughand it’s seven different kinds of wrong because it sounds so, so broken. Ithurts Aziraphale just to hear. “H- had a bit- bit of- well, I had a bad day,angel.”

Bad day is… well it’s anunderstatement to say the least. Aziraphale stares at the demon that’s hidingin the corner of his own bedroom, blood and feathers everywhere, and the angelwants to just Wish It All Away. The pain he can feel emanating from Crowley in palpablewaves. The suffering that underlies the pain. The blood and feathers andsalty tears Crowley has shed without consent.

He wants to just Make ItBetter but Aziraphale knows that some things cannot simply be Wished Well.

“Well then, bad daysare—well—they’re bad, as the phrase suggests,” Aziraphale says, longing toreach out and at least touch Crowley on the arm but he doesn’t. Not whenCrowley seems to barely handle his presence in the room. “But bad days doend, dear.”

Crowley’s head rises alittle from where it’s sort of tucked between knees and covered with armsadorned with torn sleeves. “What- what about bad millennia, angel? When do thoseend?”

The demon shifts and hissesin pain and Aziraphale doesn’t think, he doesn’t hesitate; he reaches out andcurls a hand around Crowley’s arm, feeling the moment the demon freezes at thecontact.

“I don’t know when thoseend, Crowley,” Aziraphale says softly, carefully, and he doesn’t remove hishand from Crowley’s arm even though he can feel the muscles twitching beneathhis fingers. He doesn’t back down because Crowley needs him now and there isNothing that will stop Aziraphale from doing what needs to be done for hisdemon.

Yes. His demon.

It’s about time Aziraphaleadmitted it to himself. Crowley is as much his as Aziraphale is Crowley’s.

“But I do know these pastsix thousand years have been a lot more tolerable when you’ve been beside me.”It’s a confession and an offering to the demon and Aziraphale feels like thescales have been tipped, the balance upset, because it’s him offeringthe reassurances and the temptings to Crowley.

But Aziraphale has alwaystempted Crowley, in his own way. He just hadn’t really noticed before.

“Whenever you weren’taround, I’d hide in my books so I could try and ignore the feeling in my chestthat clawed at me because you weren’t there to quieten it,” Aziraphalewhispers. “I felt such relief that night I saw you in the church even as Iworried over your safety because that- that ache faded away the moment I sawyou.”

The angel leans close to thedemon, resting his head on Crowley’s arm, his forehead touching torn cloth andheated skin. It draws a sound from Crowley that is so very broken in adifferent way to the keening of before. “I cannot imagine how it felt to- to nolonger know I was alive, to think I was dead,” Aziraphale continues and Crowleytrembles beneath his hand and head at the words. “To be so lost and alone andnot care anymore because- because your reason was gone. But Crowley—”Aziraphale lifts his head—noting absently that Crowley’s sunglasses weremissing—and looks the demon in the eye “—please don’t let me find out. Please.”

“I- I’m... I’m just so... tired,angel,” Crowley admits. “I’m tired of it all. I just- make it stop,” he begs,hands coming up and gripping at Aziraphale. “You used to make it stop.”The demon’s head falls forward, drops down against Aziraphale’s chest. “Pleasemake it stop.”

When angels cry the cosmoscry with them. Some angels affect the cosmos more than others. Archangels havebeen known to cause floods and water to form on planets where there once was nowater. Aziraphale has seldom cried in his life even though he has wished to attimes. Now- now Aziraphale cries [12].

The sky outside darkens andthunderclouds amass quicker than they have ever amassed. The BBC weather willcomment on how surprising it is for a thunderstorm to occur with so littlewarning but it’s just entering into September and the weather is always strangearound the end of summer. No human will know that the weather is the result ofa principality crying in pain and anguish for one who is Fallen and broken inways he has never before realised.

Aziraphale pulls Crowleyclose, carefully wrapping his arms around the demon in as gentle a way aspossible, avoiding the injuries he doesn’t quite know if he can Heal. He willtry regardless and put every ounce of will and love—it is love that he feels,why deny it now?—that Aziraphale has and He Will Heal The Fallen Angel.

Even if it ruins him to doso.

.

[1] It was still long enough to cause somesignificant damage to his body and wings but his core strength had remainedlargely untouched. A few cracks and gouges that he’d carefully repaired overthe years; nothing serious.

[2] So well, in fact, that he’s capable of lying to himself aboutImportant Things for eons.

[3] All six of them, in fact.

[4] They are a stain on him. A mark. Aconstant, unending reminder. Like scar tissue he can’t not see in the mirrorevery day, that he always feels and Knows is there.

[5]  Aziraphale has a habit of unconsciously drawing his wings aroundhimself on the astral plane when engrossed in a book or focused on somethingrequiring his attention. The angel draws those wings close when he’s disturbedand although humans do not see them they feel an unexplained Spiritual Breezewhen the wings move when Aziraphale is startled. It’s quite endearing even ifit makes Crowley’s skin crawl at the casual use of his wings by the angel.

[6] Of course, fear of punishment by heavenand hell—mostly hell with Crowley—had made him wary and it had taken Crowleyframing the amendment in a manner that befitted Thwarting Evil for Aziraphaleto finally agree, but the idea of sharing responsibility with Crowley forsomething… it had greatly appealed to the angel. Greatly.

[7]  They had spent most of their time initially comparingnotes on what they were Teaching young Warlock in order to try and make himneutral at least before their discussions had branched off into more friendlytopics and evenings were spent in a sort of enjoyable companionship neither hadexperienced before. Of course, in hindsight, the poor boy would likely needsome intensive therapy considering he wasn’t the subject of a divine prophecyand thus didn’t quite grasp some of the things Aziraphale or Crowley taughthim. Humans were frighteningly limited in that regard—but it made themwonderful at the same time; at least humans pushed their limits whilstangels and demons sort of wallowed within their constraints.

[8]  Witnessing Crowley sneak children aboard Noah’s shipjust as the flood began cemented in Aziraphale’s heart that the demon is farkinder than any other demon and does not commit Evil because he is evil but rather because it’s his job.If given the freedom to choose, Aziraphale is certain Crowley would performmiracles and temptings as and when he pleases. The Arrangement solidified thatbelief and after the world didn’t end, Aziraphale has watched and waited forCrowley to broach the subject himself. But the demon has remained quiet on thematter.

[9] He choose, however, to be nice andkind.

[10]  Crowley had been in the right place at the right time to receivepraise but the demon had simply been enjoying the sights. Infernal luck and allthat however had seen him credited with someone truly evil.

[11]  Even this is desperate thinking by the angel—something Aziraphalewell knows. He thinks it regardless, willfully ignorant and hopeful that he’sright when he knows full well he is not.

[12] As a cherubim, Aziraphale’s power is slightlyless than that of a saraph and archangel such as Gabriel in all things saveanything to do with his duties as a principality. Crowley hasn’t cried except theday he lost Aziraphale and on that day it rained for hours in London.

[haught0pocket]

I'm not sure if you"re taking prompts but if you are, I have 2. #1 post possession of Waverly, Nicole realizes that they had sex for the first time while Wave wasn't 100% herself. She feels horrible, she doesn't know if W had a choice, if she was in control & even if she did consent, the moment is marred by the fact that it wasn't just them bc there was something inside of Wav. Waverly comforts her, assures her that she was all there but also wants to make a new memory together. both feel better

Another great prompt! Hope you enjoy!                                                     -----

Nicole’s back was turned to the Earp home as she gazed out over the fresh layer of snow. She breathed in deep, the cold air hitting hard and sharp, but the harsh winter was nothing compared to the past couple of days. Hell, the past month. Her nose ran and teeth chattered, but if she noticed, she didn’t do anything about it.

         Are you sure?

         Yeah. … I - I like you.

One month seemed like years, and all the events in between blurred together into a pile of distorted memories.

How do I even know what was real? Was any of it real? Was that day, that first time even real? Was it even Waverly?

She couldn’t stop the tears that threatened to spill. She turned back towards the homestead, headed straight for her cruiser. She didn’t go inside to check on Waverly like she’d planned, like she told her she would.

Stopping at the door to the car, she hesitated. She could go inside, see Waverly, ignore the tight fear bundled in her heart. Or she could simply leave.

/

Waverly pulled her jeep into the police station parking lot, turned the keys and leaned back in her seat.

Why hasn’t she talked to me?

Her memories of the possession were faint. At least, whenever she’d done something that wasn’t entirely herself. It was like television with a bad signal, some channels had great reception. Some were just blank. She shuddered to think what she had done during those blank channels, or even the ones that were a bit hazy.

Taking a deep breath, she marched to the bullpen to find Nicole … nowhere in sight.

“Oh! Sheriff Nedley! I was just looking for Ni - um - Officer Haught. Is she here?”

Nedley grunted under his thick mustache, but a twinkle lit his eye. He sure did like seeing the two of them together.

“I sent her home. Been workin’ too much overtime. Woman needed some damn shut eye.”

Well, I was right about one thing. She’s been working way more than usual.

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” she gave him a warm smile before turning to leave.

“Oh and Waverly?” She faced the sheriff once more. “Glad to see you’re feeling better yourself,” he raised a mug that looked an awful lot like Dolls’ mug, but with an “R” inscribed on it.

She offered another warm smile and her thanks before she went in further search of her girlfriend.

/

Nicole ran her fingers over the photo.

Waverly leaned around her shoulders, kissed her cheek, Nicole’s smile was wide, her dimples deep. She recalled the moment, the memory, now marred with the knowledge that they weren’t alone.

Was it there, watching us?

A knock on the door startled her more than it usually might. A quick check in the peephole confirmed who she knew it would be. Waverly. She opened the door and smiled meekly.

“Hey, come in.”

With what seemed like caution, Waverly walked past Nicole, hung her coat and scarf on the coat rack, and then stood silent.

Nicole motioned with her head to follow her to the couch.

Normally, Waverly would curl into Nicole’s side as close as possible. And she wanted to, desperately. But Nicole had been withdrawn, there was something she wasn’t telling Waverly. And Waverly was going to find out what it was.

Leaving a few inches of space between them, she sat with a leg tucked underneath her, facing Nicole.

“You’re doing it again.”

Nicole turned to look Waverly in the eyes, the question “what” written on her face.

“You’re shutting me out. I don’t even know why this time,” Waverly paused, wiped a tear from her eye. “I need you. I needed you with me, and you’re barely even talking to me.”

Damn if she didn’t want to talk about this, but there was no avoiding it. Not with Waverly.

“That thing, legion, whatever it is, it was with you since Willa died, right?”

Waverly nodded. They’d been over this, after the entity was exercised.

“Wave, that day I brought you those application forms…” her voice trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

Waverly took hold of one of Nicole’s hands, squeezed it tight, nodding her head.

“I wanted to be so sure … I wanted to wait for you, to be ready. I thought you were. But there was this - thing - inside you. I don’t know…” she buried her face in her free hand, her thoughts and emotions were raging inside and she couldn’t navigate this storm. She’d promised herself she would wait for Waverly, let her call the shots. It was so damn important to her.

A small sigh escaped her lips as Waverly moved close enough for their legs to touch. She took Nicole’s face in her hands, made her look right at her.

“Do you think I wasn’t ready?” Nicole’s only response was torn expression. “I wanted that. Not anyone else. Me. Waverly,” Nicole’s face leaned into Waverly’s hand, her soft touch, her gentle reassurance. “There’s stuff I don’t remember, and stuff that’s - fuzzy. But I remember every single moment of that. Because it was me.”

Nicole’s face had softened as Waverly spoke. She wrapped her fingers around Waverly’s wrists, her thumb stroked the soft skin. “You’re sure?”

Waverly leaned forward and pressed Nicole’s cautious lips to her own in a delicate kiss, leaned her forehead against the still creased brows. “Every moment, Nicole.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, just grateful to be close again.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve been there,” Nicole stroked Waverly’s cheek gently. “How are you feeling?” The storm inside began to calm, concern for Waverly took over.

Waverly sighed, her breath catching the slightest bit. “Okay. I uh - I think I’m having nightmares of things I did,” she looked up to Nicole’s worried eyes, her voice shaking, “I missed you.”

Nicole drew Waverly to her chest, lightly feathered her brow with soft kisses.

“I’m here. I missed you, too. I’m here now,” her voice was barely a whisper, “I was scared, Waves. I’m sorry.”

Waverly pulled back to gaze into Nicole’s soft brown eyes, she shook her head, her fingers laced through the short auburn locks. Leaning forward a bit, she brought their lips together again. Resting her cheek against Nicole’s chest once again, Waverly let out a deep breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding.