#and in spite of Everything nick... mostly stayed nick

[jtownraindancer]

nick george would never hurt me this way

[1toreyouapart]

Right Through Me

***FANFICTION THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE. DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE THAT. 18+ MDNI***

Rae arrives on her former best friend’s doorstep, asking only for a place to stay while she gets back on her feet after moving across the country to escape her ex. Nick gladly opens his door to her, quickly pulling her into the fold with his friends and band mates.

Noah is just trying to survive. He wants to make it. Needs it. He has no time for anything other than the band. He’s got a point to prove. Nick’s friend challenges that and upends his entire world. She drives him crazy with her laid back, carefree ways.

Everyone can see the collision coming from a mile away, and nobody can stop it. Much less the two of them. Who will make it out in the end?

CW/TW: domestic violence, miscarriage, alcohol use, swearing, smoking, tobacco/vape use, smut, more to come as story is written.

Broken

The white ceiling above her, that goddamned popcorn style, held her gaze as she laid on Folio's couch, the edges of her vision blurry, almost like she had tunnel vision. Music blasted, drowning out the sound of her own thoughts. All of this sucked. She was thousands of miles from home. In a new city. The only person she fully trusted was Nick. And as much as she knew she shouldn't, she missed Sean. She missed having someone next to her every night. Missed how he could make her laugh until she nearly peed her pants. God, it was fucked up how much she missed him in spite of everything.

From a home and a bed to sleeping on her best friends couch, fresh out of an abusive relationship. Not a penny to her name. Missing her abusive ex that would have killed her that night. God, she was pathetic.

Rae wiped away the tear that fell, slowly trailing down her temple. She felt so stupid and weak feeling like this. Missing him was stupid. She knew that. But God had she loved him. And having him gone was hard. It sucked. Hard. All the partying and drinking to try to forget everything wasn't helping. She knew that. Neither was spending every moment she could with Noah. Mostly because she was starting to feel like she was using him as a placeholder. Like she was keeping someone close that felt safe to fill the emptiness inside of her. And he didn't deserve that.

The front door opened and she closed her eyes, waiting for the impending lecture from Nick about how she shouldn't be lying around, wallowing in self pity. Her hand trailed to her lower belly, thoughts of what could have been circling her mind. Would she have even been okay with having his child after what he had done? If she hadn't miscarried, would she be okay right now with all of it? But what if she could handle it and could love that child extra hard? He had taken that from her. She would never know.

"Don't." Noah's voice startled her and she shit upright, wiping away tears she hadn't noticed fully.

"What the fuck?"

"It sucks. It's fucking hard. But this? What you're doing? Listening to sad ass music feeling sorry for yourself? He's winning. You can't let that cunt win." As Noah spoke he circled around the couch, plopping down on the floor next to it. Next to her.

"Noah. It's..." She trailed off, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, biting until she tasted blood to stop the fresh tears from falling. "It's not that fucking easy."

Noah shifted, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. He looked so small sitting in the floor next to her. It was almost comical. She had grown so used to always having to look up at him.

"I know it isn't. Just..." He paused, his dark eyes scanning her face. "It sucks now. But it won't suck forever. If you had stayed you wouldn't be alive to be sitting here all sad and broken. And it sucks. It's hard feeling so broken. I get it. But you're alive. You're here. Folio isn't going to your funeral."

She wanted so badly to be angry at him for how right he was. But she just didn't have it in her. Instead she broke, unable to hold back the tears any longer. A broken sob escaped her, a feeling akin to shards of glass sitting in her stomach filling her. He was right. It didn't make it hurt any less. But he was right. Folio nearly had to see her next at her funeral.

"Why does it feel so wrong? This wasn't supposed to happen, Noah. We were going to get married. Have a.." Rae swallowed, hiccuping as she did so. "Have a fucking baby. I thought he would be happy. He always talked about having a kid."

In an instant Noah was on the couch with her, pulling her into his lap. His long arms wrapped around her, squeezing as tight as he could without suffocating her. One of his hands cradled her head as he pulled her into himself, literally giving her his shoulder. Hating how weak it made her feel she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight, guilt over using him like this mixing in with the slew of emotions coursing through her.

"Would you have wanted that kid growing up thinking abuse was normal? Seeing their mother treated like that? It sucks, Princess. More than I can ever understand. I-I know that. But if you had stayed you wouldn’t be here right now. And neither would that child.” Noah sighed, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “I’m so sorry. I know that doesn’t mean shit. It’s just a word. But I’m just sorry. And really fucking happy you’re still around. I’ve grown kind of fond of you, you know.”

Rae chuckled through her tears. Noah seemed to understand exactly what had happened without her saying anything to anyone. She didn’t need to say it. He just knew. And she was grateful for that. No need to hash out the dirty details. But God had it felt good to let it out a little bit.

Slowly she lifted her head, freeing a hand to wipe away tears. Slightly embarrassed over being caught wallowing in her feelings she buried her face in the crook of his neck again, breathing him in. The scent of his soap and cologne had become somewhat of a comfort for her the last couple weeks or so. And just as usual it helped her heart slow down. Eased the anxiety. Slowed her breathing down.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered against his throat.

“Don’t be sorry. You’ve been through a hell I can only imagine. Plus, I showed up unannounced because you weren’t answering your phone.” Noah shifted, sinking further into the couch.

“Well, I turned it off. Did I miss a meeting?”

“No. No. I was seeing if you wanted to come smoke with me. Just got a new bong.”

Rae sat up fully, meeting his eyes. She couldn’t help but notice how soft they were as he met her eyes. How he looked at her. Like she was fragile. As though she was something precious to be protected. Like she had value to him. Breath caught deep in her lungs she watched as his large, tattooed hand moved in her peripheral, reaching to brush her hair back away from her face before settling on the nape of her neck, his grip firm.

Noah’s eyes moved over her face. Studying her intently. She watched him study her, his eyes still so soft she could have sworn he actually cared. Watched as those deep, dark eyes finally met hers again, her belly filling with butterflies. Her breath hitched in her throat as he leaned in close, their noses practically touching. Noah was going to kiss her. She was sure of it. Slow brush of his nose against hers and he nuzzled before tipping his head slightly and pressing his lips against hers.

There was no urgency in his kiss, just a gentle press of the lips. Delicate, yet firm. Rae squirmed, their butterflies settling, replaced by a sense of peace. Leave wasn’t something she was used to. It made her nervous, but she couldn’t pull away, and instead leaned into the kiss, clinging to him like he was her lifeline. Noah didn’t take it further than a simple kiss, just kept his lips against hers. Moving as she moved.

The hand at the nape of her neck moved to hold her face in the palm of his hand, her body melting into his. His lips moved over hers, slow and steady. Gentle. Almost as though he wasn’t totally sure he should be kissing her right then. Slight hesitation every time she sighed, every time he started to kiss her harder. With more urgency.

Rae held his face in her hands, fighting back the feeling that she was betraying Sean. But God, he had never kissed her like this. So gently. So slowly. Letting her take the lead in how far it went. And all she wanted right then was to spend an eternity in this moment with Noah while also wanting to crawl in a hole and die.

Tags: @bloody-spades @supersquirrel1996 @mrscevans @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @lacy1986 @ichoosetenderomens @dontwantthemoney @badomensls @concretejunglefm @chey-h

[imagine-silk]

How would companions (+ Proctor Ingram) react to a special doctor that has a knack for making synthetic prosthetics?

Like artificial limbs that look real human

He’s not from the Institute but he’s fascinated by their technology.

He’d join them if it weren’t for their ideals.

The guy is what one would call a Ripper Doc.

I hope you like this, I know next to nothing about Cyberpunk. I asked my brother about instead of reading pages of info. You almost made me read anon. READ! The sacrilege.

Proctor Ingram

That kind of tech is dubious to have in the brotherhood but she doesn’t report you out of a spiteful comradery. She had her legs crushed so who was she to deny people prosthetics. But she wouldn’t ask for leg replacements, again it is dubious technology to have. If you have these enhancements she will not tell another soul about them, because she’s pretty sure the reason you haven’t been reported is because the others don’t know. If you work for her she will always have you around to help her.

Nick

The reason he’s falling apart is because he knows next to nothing about mechanics so he’ll ask for your expertise after you’ve become friends. He’ll pay you of course. To be frank it takes a lot of worry from him knowing his hand won’t fall off. Further down the line he’ll ask if you could replace his skin.

Hancock

He thinks it’s cool and that’s where his opinion starts and ends. He starts thinking any more about it he’ll lose his mind because he doesn’t understand it in the slightest. If you have these implants he is going to stare at it and find every excuse to touch it.

MacCready

There is a part of him that thinks it’s weird and creepy. There’s a bigger part of him that thinks it’s super fucking cool. His comic book brain lights up and all his boyish dreams come to life in front of him. He never tells you that and tries to hide it but it is a bit obvious.

Danse

His views on technology after he left the Brotherhood had been muddled. All he knew was he knew less than nothing. Not being with the Institute was enough for him to look at what you do with an open mind. If you prove to be skilled enough he’ll ask if you could take a look at him, seeing as he’s a synth and everything.

X6-88

At first he considers you a huge asset to the Institute. After he trusts himself with you. He can hardly check himself and you have proven yourself to be trustful. In the regard I would advise you to be kind, the way they treated him in the Institute was borderline or sometimes overt torture.

Codsworth

He’s upset about your tools. Before the war you had much more at your disposal and you’d helped a lot of people but now you are severely limited. The indignity! But don’t worry he’ll go out and search for more and maintain the ones you have.

Deacon

As much as he jokes about it, it is something that makes him count his lucky stars you’re on their side. If you have some that have blades or something that thought increases tenfold. When you become friends that nervous caution dies down. His fear never really was about the tech.

Cait

This is only a good thing to her. You are strong as hell, have built in weapons, and you can replace blown off bits. What more could she want? Honestly, down the line she’ll ask if you’re willing to do it to her, but that’s far down the line.

Curie

She’s gonna have a work crush on you, just a fact. The need to expand her knowledge will have her working with you in the clinic, the combination of medicine and engineering makes everything better with you two. If you have them she’ll help you maintain it.

Piper

Her curiosity beats her disdain for the Institute. When she hears you denounce them she calms down. She does think it’s unnatural but who is she to agree about something she doesn’t fully understand. In fact she’ll allow you to put an ad in her paper if you ask.

Preston

He loves it. It helps people, it looks cool, and it’s mostly ethical under your command. If you weren’t the Sole Survivor he’d ask you to stay in his settlement, hell, he even offers to help you open a clinic or share it with Curie.

Dogmeat

Get an implant that throws a ball. Do it.

[sonseulsoleil]

33 or 70!

I went with 70! I really hope you like it! It got a little bit out of hand, and a little bit steamy towards the end, but mostly it's just Nick and Charlie being stupidly in love. (also read on AO3) (prompt list)

Nick Nelson was absolutely miserable. It was February, and the radiator in his dorm room had gone out, so it was fucking freezing, he had a mountain of assignments that he kept putting off (it turned out, not having his mum around to nag him about homework increased his capacity for procrastination about 200%), and absolutely worst of all, Charlie had cancelled their planned video call for that afternoon. 

It wasn’t like Nick didn’t know that Charlie was extremely busy—he’d gone through what Charlie was going through himself only a year prior, and he still remembered just how horribly stressful that final year of sixth form was. There was no way he was going to make Charlie feel guilty for prioritizing his studies over Nick. Even if it was Valentine’s Day, and even if they hadn’t spoken outside of text messages for what felt like weeks, and even if Nick had been really looking forward to the look on Charlie’s face when he opened the gift Nick had sent him. 

They were going to have plenty more Valentine’s Days together, Nick reasoned. No reason to get upset over missing one . Certainly, no reason to make Charlie feel bad about it, especially when Charlie had sent him a gift and had promised to make it up to him on the weekend. The gift, wrapped in a small blue box, and shiny yellow ribbon, sat unopened on Nick’s desk. Charlie had told him to go ahead and open it, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

It was irrational. There was no reason for him to be upset. He was just stupid and sentimental and it didn’t matter. He checked the time on his phone, and it was only about 7 PM, which meant it was too early to go to bed, even if the winter season meant it was already pitch dark outside. He glanced down at his laptop, his most pressing assignment staring up at him, and groaned. He pulled the strings on his hoodie tightly until his vision was obscured by the hood, and lowered his head onto his desk. He stayed there for a few minutes, unmotivated to do anything but pout. He was just starting to consider if maybe 7 PM being too early for bed was just him being arbitrary when his phone rang. 

It was Charlie. 

Nick answered it on the first ring. 

“Charlie! Hi!” Nick was vaguely aware that he probably sounded too eager, but he didn’t care.

“Hi.” Charlie’s voice was soft and breathy as always. “What are you up to?” 

“Trying to do my homework,” Nick laughed in spite of himself. “I’m not making much progress.” 

“Ah,” Charlie hummed. “You sound stressed.” 

“Do I?” Nick sighed. “I didn’t mean to. It’s just school is so overwhelming, and the weather is terrible. It’s bloody freezing up north.” He left off the loneliness he felt. Charlie didn’t need to be burdened with that. 

Charlie chuckled. “You can say that again. I can’t believe how much it snows h—up there.” He stumbled over his words towards the end of his sentence, but Nick didn’t pay much attention to it; he knew his boyfriend must be tired. 

“I know!” Even just talking on the phone with Charlie for a few minutes made Nick feel lighter than he had in days. “God, I miss you so much.” 

“I miss you too,” Charlie said, automatically. “And I really am sorry that I had to cancel our video call, but—” 

“It’s fine,” Nick cut him off. “I know you’re busy with schoolwork. I’m just really glad you called me. Hearing your voice makes everything better ."

“Not that I’m not glad to hear that,” Charlie’s voice took on an unexpectedly mischievous tone. “But I think I can do better.” 

“What?” Nick frowned. He knew Charlie couldn’t make the video call, so what could possibly be better than talking on the phone? “What do you mean?” 

“Open your door, Nick.” 

Nick’s heart skipped a beat, and he was up from his desk and across his tiny dorm room in a matter of seconds. He threw open the door, and there, in the corridor, holding a bouquet of red roses, was Charlie Spring. Charlie was bundled in layers of jumpers and his heaviest black coat, his cheeks pink with cold. A few of his curls poked out from under a burgundy beanie, flakes of white snow contrasted against the black of his hair. It reminded Nick so much of that day in the snow when they had just started to get closer. Nick had wanted to kiss Charlie so badly that day, almost as badly as he wanted to today. 

“How—” Nick choked out. “You’re here!” And then he was wrapping his arms around Charlie and pulling him inside. He kissed Charlie without waiting for permission, and Charlie kissed back instantly. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Nick,” Charlie breathed out when they parted. 

“God,” Nick nestled his head into the crook of Charlie’s neck. “I missed you so much.” 

Charle hummed. “I missed you, too.” 

After a moment, Nick finally released his boyfriend and guided him further into his cramped living space. He gently set the roses on his desk, grateful that Charlie had bought the kind that came with a vase. “I wish I’d known you were coming, I’d have changed out of these grubby joggers.” 

“Aw, but you’re so cute in grubby joggers,” Charlie replied, flopping down onto Nick’s bed with a smirk. “Besides, it’s Valentine’s Day and we haven’t seen each other since Christmas, I was kind of hoping to see you not wearing any clothes.” 

Nick rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the slight blush that dusted across his cheeks. “I suppose we’ll have to keep each other warm somehow, seeing as my radiator’s still busted.” 

“Exactly,” Charlie kissed him on the cheek. “But first,” he slid his backpack off his back and pulled out a familiar parcel. “I’ve been waiting to open this for three days. I knew you’d want to see my reaction.” 

Nick grabbed the blue box off his desk before plopping himself down next to Charlie, completely invading his personal space. He was sure Charlie didn’t mind. “Can I go first? I know you told me to go ahead and open it, but I just couldn't.” 

Charlie looked at him with soft blue eyes. “Nick, you’re ridiculous.” 

“And yet, you love me anyway.” Nick carefully opened the box to reveal a shiny silver pendant. Oval in shape, with the engraving of a young man running with a rugby ball. The words Saint Sebastian Pray For Me were engraved around the edges. 

Nick blinked. “Saint Sebastian?” Neither of them was particularly religious, but Nick knew Charlie’s dad’s side of the family (the Spanish side) was Catholic. “Is this the patron saint of rugby or something?” 

Charlie laughed. “Not quite. Saint Sebastian is the patron saint of athletes.” 

“Ah,” Nick nodded. “That makes sense.” 

“He’s also the patron saint of the LGBT+ community,” Charlie added, breezy and casual. “So, it seemed fitting.” 

“Oh. ” Nick grinned. “Now I get it. Though I am a bit surprised to hear that such a thing exists.” 

“Well, it’s not, like, official, or anything, we just kind of claimed him, I guess” Charlie chuckled. “There are all these paintings of him where’s he’s just half-naked and muscley and stuff. Also something about arrows and, uh,  penetration.” 

Nick snorted. “Wow, arrow penetration, that sounds real romantic, Char.” 

“Rugby season is right around the corner, you know,” Charlie said simply. “Someone has to watch over you during games when I can’t be there. I’m sure university players are going to be even bigger and scarier than the prep school boys.”

And, oh . Nick’s heart swelled. “That’s adorable. You’re adorable.” He slipped the pendant around his neck. “I’m never taking it off.” 

“Shut up,” Charlie blushed. 

Nick wanted to kiss the blush off Charlie’s cheeks, so he did. He peppered kisses all over his boyfriend’s face until Charlie was squealing and giggling. 

“Okay, okay,” Charlie managed when he finally escaped Nick’s kiss attack, breathing heavy. “My turn.” 

Nick beamed, nodding encouragingly for Charlie to continue. “Go on.” 

Charlie tore into the paper to reveal a photo album—no, a scrapbook. Nick’s mum made a new scrapbook every winter out of their family photos from that year, which inspired Nick to make one for Charlie. A tangible reminder of all their shared memories to help with the distance. 

Charlie sniffed as he flipped through it. He stopped a few pages in, on a crumpled receipt for three cokes and a basket of chips. “Nick, is this—is this your receipt from the bowling alley? From my fifteenth birthday?” 

“Uh, maybe?” Nick flushed. 

“You kept that? For almost three years?” Charlie was looking at him, but it wasn’t judgemental or mocking, instead, he simply looked in awe. 

“I just…want to remember everything,” Nick said softly. “I want to remember us , and how we were then, and how we are now. I want to look back when we’re old and grey and remember what it was like when we were just two kids in love.” 

“God, you’re so cheesy.” Charlie’s teasing remark was undercut by the thick emotion in his voice and the tears welling up in his eyes. 

“Says the guy who took a 4-hour train ride on a school night just to surprise me,” Nick shot back. “You realize there’s no way you’re getting back in time for your classes tomorrow, right?” 

“Oh, I know,” Charlie looked up to meet Nick’s eye. “And I really don’t care.” 

“Wow, who are you and what have you done with Charlie Spring, Head Boy of Truham Grammar School, huh?” Nick nudged him. 

Charlie snorted. “Let’s just say that the Head Boy of Truham has better things to do than his coursework tonight.” 

“Oh?” Nick’s lips turned up in a wry smile. “Like what?” 

Charlie scooted closer on the bed, so all Nick could focus on was the blue of his eyes and the heat of his breath on Nick’s skin. “Like you ?” 

Nick scoffed. “That was terrible.” 

“And yet, you haven’t moved away,” Charlie pointed out,  moving even closer. 

“Never,” Nick breathed, closing the final distance between them. At first, the kiss was slow and sweet, but it very quickly built into something urgent, open-mouthed, and frenetic. Charlie’s hands were in Nick’s hair, pulling gently until Nick had no choice but to moan into Charlie’s mouth. Nick’s hands found their way under the first jumper Charlie had on, pushing it over his head to reveal another. “God, how many of these layers am I going to have to get through, Char?” 

Charlie laughed. “I guess you’ll just have to keep going to find out.” Charlie reached for Nick’s hoodie, fumbling to get it off, leaving Nick in just his t-shirt. Charlie’s cold hands snaked underneath the fabric, and Nick shivered under his touch as Charlie pushed his shirt off.  

“This is so unfair.” Nick removed another of Charlie’s jumpers, to reveal a third jumper. But this one he could tell was the last. 

Finally, he got his hands on Charlie’s bare skin. He peppered kisses up Charlie’s torso as he pushed up his last layer, feeling Charlie’s muscles tense under him. He paid special attention to his chest and clavicle, revelling in the sharp intakes of breath Charlie took as he kissed and nipped and sucked at his skin. 

Nick trailed kisses up Charlie’s neck before finally capturing his lips again. Charlie’s hands were in Nick’s hair again, and his legs were wrapped around Nick’s middle, and then—

Charlie flipped them over, so he was on top, practically straddling Nick. 

“God, you’re so hot. You’re fucking amazing.” Nick rambled. “I love you so much,  Charlie.” 

Charlie just laughed at him. “I love you so much, too, Nick.” 

And then they were kissing again, Charlie still on top of him, and Nick wished he could live in this moment forever. He knew Charlie would have to leave in the morning, and he’d have to go back to his mountain of assignments and broken heater and lonely single dorm, but for now, it didn’t matter. For now, he had Charlie.

[darcyolsson]

PLEASE explain every song on your nick playlist

EVERY SINGLE ONE............ okay

playlist link again for good measure

everything has changed (ft ed sheeran) // it's all about that first meeting! when they first met they were like um idk about you but it's been like 20 hours and you're already my favourite person can i just be your bestie (?) please. let me get to know you better!!! :)

delicate // charlie isn't universally liked but nick likes him! they aren't friends bc it's cool to be friends w charlie they're friends bc he likes him for him!!! also, this song specifically mentions a shoe by brand which is very Them

fifteen // fuck ben hope that's all i have to say about this one

gorgeous // why are you so gorgeous and attractive ugh so annoying you're so annoying for being cool and attractive bc i can't have you.... guess i'll stumble on home to my cats dog alone... unless u wanna come along...?

hey stephen // it's about the crushing and wanting to kiss in the rain

gold rush // nick is very cool, charlie is Not, charlie wants to date but alas it will never be :/ or WILL IT

i'm only me when i'm with you // when nick's mum said he was more himself around charlie than he was around any of his other friends that did things to me emotionally

fearless // their first kiss was fearless by tswifts definition! not absent of fear but something you do anyway in spite of all your fears. them. it truly is a first kiss, it's flawless, really something........ it's fearless

sparks fly // the day after their first kiss when charlie drops everything (now) meets nick in the pouring rain kisses him on the sidewalk takes away the pain............................ so true

state of grace // it's about being entirely enthralled by a new relationship... these boys are Whipped and i respect that

style // i'll admit this is mostly here bc it's on the heartstopper playlist/mixtape from vol 1 but you know what it's a banger and i do thik they both have that james dean daydream look in their eye so it can stay

you are in love // this song is so :(<3 in chapter... 5 ? when they start to fall in Love.. it's about all the little things. n&c are so good at that and i love them

invisible string // nick's ex crush sharing classes w charlie's sister... nick hearing ab charlie a year before they even met... charlie's friend elle being nick's old classmate elle..... IT'S THE INVISIBLE STRING BABY.... also i think charlie would appreciate the brontë reference

this is me trying // it's a crying break. let's think about charlie's mental illness and all he had to go through for a second. cool now w can move on

new year's day // they stuck stick together through the good and the bad and the Really Bad. fitting bc they went to a new years party together too. i love this song a lot :)

ours // sort of the same vibe! 'who cares what other people think or what life throws at us, we have each other'

i think he knows // last page of chapter 6 literally quotes this song (might be intentional??? no idea) what do you want me to say. just very Them i think!!!

long story short // i thought it would be funny to put this at the end of the heartstopper part of this playlist because it's literally a summary of this playlist, which is a summary of heartstopper. it's a long story short. anyway, once more, fuck ben hope, i love nick nelson, charlie had a bad bad time (several bad bad times) but he made it through!!! i still think it's insane how this is Literally just heartstopper as a song. gonna start a conspiracy theory that taylor swift is alice oseman in a wig i think

coney island // nick and charlie novella brief breakup anthem

that's when // nick and charlie novella extremely fast make up anthem <3

in conclusion,

[southernrays]

location: Fairvale + Jesup/Atlanta in flashbacks date: The second week of July 2020 + Ray’s entire life availability: closed solo tldr: Ray ponders his love life before-during-after the apocalypse cw for: transphobia, disclosure talks, transitioning, divorce, drugs (mentioned not used) and all of the general heart break affiliated with young love.

000.

Ray fell in love too easily.

It had always been a problem, really, but there was no real fix. Ray loved deeply, easily, and with his whole entire heart. He had done so since he was a kid, and he would probably always do so, apocalypse or not.

001.

His first crush had been on Brittany Walker when he was six years old. That was before he was Ray, before he was even Nate, but a crush was a crush.

Brittany was the most popular girl in their elementary school. Jesup was a small town that only grew smaller the older they got, and Ray was one of ten in his class. Brittany was classically pretty - blonde hair, blue eyes, a big smile, and kind eyes - but Ray knew it was more that that. He didn’t want to be Brittany’s friend, he wanted to be her best friend, and got jealous of everyone else. When the town got a new set of siblings, brother and sister, and Brittany started hanging out with them instead of him, Ray’s father noticed the frowns and sad looks at the dinner table.

“What’s wrong, champ?” David had asked, the nickname sticking from a t-ball championship streak of two years. Ray had pouted over the okra on his plate, and not just because it was slimy.

“Brittany has new friends and likes them better. But I like her more than anyone else on the playground.”

“Is that right now?” David had amusement in his eyes when he tried to keep a straight face, and Ray was old enough to see it. He was deceptively perceptive for his age and already a good people watcher at the bar. David knew that.

“I’m serious Dad. I’d marry her, like you and mom.”

Ray was still just six, though. He didn’t notice the tense of his father’s shoulder, the way he glanced over to make sure that his wife wasn’t in the room. He didn’t notice the frown lines on his face or how unhappy he had been for the last six years. He didn’t know that the divorce papers will be signed before their next Christmas, and it will be spent without Regina Turner. That all of his birthdays and holidays and life events would be without her, forever, very soon.

“That’s a whole lot of like, kiddo.”

“I mean it, Pa.”

“That’s alright champ. You can marry whoever you want to when you get older, alright? I’ll love you no matter what.”

“Alright dad,” little Ray had said with a wrinkle of his nose. “Don’t make it weird.”

David’s laugh had filled the kitchen, and Ray felt better about it all.

002.

Ray didn’t have a type growing up. The people he liked, he liked individually, not because they fit into a mold that checked off imaginary boxes. In high school his eyes turned towards a new girl in town that’s aesthetic screams southern gothic in an unironic way. Hailee wore her eye liner too thick, kept her music too loud, wore too much black and metal, and glared at everyone at Jesup’s only high school like their mere presence bothered her. Ray had no idea, in retrospect, why he was drawn to her, but he was. Ray was finally Nate by then, finally himself in his own skin and his own clothing and no one could take that from him. Not the busybodies of Jesup, not his mother’s stinging palm on his cheek, and not any pastor of a Church he wasn’t apart of, praying to a man he didn’t believe in. 

Ray was unapologetically himself, and maybe he was drawn to someone else like that, too.

Hailee avoided him like the plague, too, at first. She scoffed at his worn levis and dirty cowboy boots. She ignored Ray when the popular crowd stopped by his locker. Ray was popular, too, in spite of his transition and small town gossip. His father owned one of the only bars in town that made him cool, and a source of liquor for unage drinking and parties. Ray didn’t care much for that, but he did appreciate the socialization of it all.

“Hey, Hailee, wait up now,” Ray had called out, almost not recognizing his own voice after his second puberty. 

“What do you want, Nate?” Her eyes had narrowed, pretty and green despite the kohl surrounding them. 

“You to come to Nick’s party this weekend. What do ya say?” Ray rocked back on his heels, nervous of her answer. People in the hallway stopped to look at them, and Ray wondered what they saw. Was it the stubble on his chin, his recent growth spike, and the new squareness of his hips? Or was it the same kid that had been there since pre-school, unable to leave that old, uncomfortable skin behind.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Yeah? You do that, then. I can pick ya up on the bike if you want?” 

Her eyes flashed with something dangerous, then, and Ray knew he had hooked her. What kind of edgy girl could resist showing up to the party on the back of a sick motorcycle?

They find themselves in a closet, of all places, in the middle of the night. Ray tasted tequila on her lips when she slotted their hips together. He pushed back, pinning her against a wall as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. The groan she let out was sweet music to his ears and she melted like putty against his strong frame.

“Worth comin’ out for the party?” Ray asked against her lips. She bit his lip in retaliation before deepening the kiss. Ray’s hands wandered, fingers trailing the skin exposed by the black crop top she had decided to wear tonight. They separate when Ray needed to come up for air, harsh pants filling the small spaces of the closet.

“I didn’t expect it to be so good,” Hailee mumbled against his lips, and Ray can’t help but freeze.

“What? Kissin’ a redneck?” He tried to joke off, desperate for her to make some small town hick joke. Because Hailee was from Indianapolis. She was supposed to be edgy and alternative and beyond all of the small town gossip. She was different from the other people Ray had been taking hayrides with since the days of diapers. 

He expected more out of Hailee - maybe more than he should have, maybe more than what was fair - which is why the disappointment felt so much worse with her.

“No, you know...” A brief pause of hesitation and Ray prayed, dear God for her to say anything but what he thought she was going to say. “Kissing someone like you.”

Ray flinched back like someone had dropped a bucket of ice on him. His eyes sting for a brief second of embarrassment before the rage took over. He takes one deep breath, and then another. Man, testosterone was a potent thing, wasn’t it?

“I... I’ll see ya ‘round Hailey.”

“Wait - Nate - I didn’t ... I wasn’t trying to-”

Ray doesn’t hear the rest. He doesn’t need to.

003.

Dating Xavier was a mistake, plain and simple.

Ray was new to the area. He was finally free of his town, free of the stigma and the knowing looks, and the everything else that came with a town so small it felt like a fishbowl. Here, in Atlanta, he got to start over. He could be Nate from the beginning, without any need to pretend otherwise.

And Nate was a useless bisexual. Always had been.

Xavier was kind of a douchebag. He met Ray at a bar, of course, his band playing on the makeshift stage. Xavier was a drummer. He was so dang pretty, easy on the eyes, and kissed in a dirty, grungy sort of way that had it’s charms. He was nothing like Jesup kids; Xavier was spoiled, wild, a city boy through and through, and Ray craved the simplicity of it all.

Xavier (who went by X) was not a good guy and did drugs (most X) and got crossfaded out of his mind after shows. He stayed up crazy hours, usually high, and wrote all sorts of lyrics for his band. Their relationship, if you could call it that, was very brief and mostly physical.

“You should play guitar, babe, like for real, you know?” Xavier said, waking Ray up at five in the morning to tell him that.

“Why’s that, handsome?” Ray had answered, sleep still clogging his voice as he rolled over. It looked like X hadn’t been to sleep yet, which made sense considering the binge he had been on.

“It’d make you more edgy, right, like, you’d be hotter. Everyone’s hotter if they play guitar.”

“S’that why you’re a drummer?” Ray teased, but the fun nature of it went over Xavier’s head. He leveled a big scowl at Ray, and Ray sighed.

“No need to be mean, Nate.”

“Was just a joke, baby.” Ray opened up the covers of the bed, glancing at the clock again. Xavier’s pupils were so dilated that he couldn’t see his pretty brown eyes. “Come to bed soon?”

“You know I have to finish this song. We hit the road in three weeks for our tour.”

In that three weeks, Ray picked up a guitar and had his first lessons, broke up with Xavier, and never saw the guy again.

He was not more edgy, not in the slightest, but he did have a new guitar and a whole city to explore.

004.

Meeting Luci had been accidental in every way. He had picked up an extra shift at the bar that his manager forgot to write into the schedule, so when he showed up for it there was double staffing and no need for Ray to be there. Instead of spending a Friday night alone, at his apartment, he decided to stay. Ray nursed a couple of beers as the bar filled up and texted his friends to show up early.

The Drunken Crown was a sort of themed bar-slash-pub in Atlanta. It was smaller, which Ray appreciated, and had theme nights on the daily. A lot of the college kids from nearby spent their time there, and the average patron was generally on the younger side. On Fridays and Saturdays their theme rotated, and tonight’s was Historic Night. 

His friends arrived a bit later, dressed in Spartan battle gear. They did a couple rounds of shots before most of them took to the dance floor, leaving Ray laughing as he refused at the bar.

Ray had come dressed in an honest to goodness toga, including a gold spray-painted leaf crown and golden accessories. His time in the gym had definitely paid off as he was finally bulking up and gaining more definition in his shoulders. One or two girls had been orbiting around him, but Ray didn’t make any passes at anyone. He sipped on his beer, watching his coworkers make their rounds, and decided to people watch for the evening.

A group of flappers were tearing up the dance floor. Ray could see his buddy, Blake, drunkenly approaching them and attempting some dance moves that made him look ridiculous. Some guys in three piece suits were making out by the entrance. A group of hippies were eagerly chatting and mingling at the bar. Ray saw at least three girls who looked like some extras in a Nirvana video begging for some kind of song change from whatever was on the speakers.

Luci had been dressed up as an old writer, someone Ray knew the name of but couldn’t remember, not truly and definitely not any more, and kept all to herself in the very corner of the bar. She was sipping on some mixed drink and Ray’s eyes stopped on her. What was her story? The quiet girl, alone at the bar, barely hanging onto the fringes of all of the activity. 

He was intrigued, and he wanted to know.

A simple introduction was given. Ray prodded, trying to get a feel for the quiet girl, who opened up immediately when asked about her costume. Ray was no academic, but he appreciated the passion in her eyes when she spoke about something, voice louder than either one of them expected.

“I’m Nate, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”

And it was. Luci was his opposite in so many ways. He hadn’t expected to see her again after that night, too shy to ask for her number and unsure if she was interested in giving it. His coworkers had given him hell for chickening out, and Ray just gave them a good-natured smile.

A week and a half later, Luci came in, dressed normally, while Ray was working. He spent the entire night neglecting his duties, trying to get a conversation out of her and working his own natural charm. And she came back the next week, and the week after, too. Soon Ray was brave enough to ask for her number. And she gave it to him.

Being with Luci was different. Their first date, Ray had taken her out of the city to a local dirt track. They went mudding in ATVs and Ray nearly fell off of his trying to impressive her halfway through. Luci’s eyes had been wide the entire time, soaking up the whole thing with a curiosity that Ray came to associate with her. One date turned into two, which turned into a whole series of exploring together. 

They took turns taking each other outside of their comfort zones. Ray taught Luci how to have fun the country way, with mudding and camping, and picnics in the bed of his truck as they watched the sun rise together. Luci surprised Ray with her deep thoughts, her sharp mind, and the push to better himself with her. She didn’t let him keep up his self-deprecation. They would have late night conversations, under the stars, all alone, wrapped up in each other.

She met his friends, his family, incorporated herself in his entire life.

Ray fell head over heels. And he told her so, earnest and eager and open to love. Open to a lifetime of learning and exploring with her. 

And she left him, at the edge of the cliff he was ready to jump off with no parachute, without so much as an explanation. And she took a part of him with her, whether she realized it or not, that never really came back.

005.

There were more. Some before Luci, some after. Each person was different - different backgrounds, ages, race, gender, personalities - but one thing always remained the same. Ray loved too hard, too much, too easily. Ray was open to the idea of commitment, and committed, too easily. 

 It didn’t matter who he was dating, he was the constant, he was the issue, and it hurt to admit.

Ray tried, and he loved, before-during-after the outbreak. And it went like this:

There was Rob, a brewmaster he met while at school. They dated for over a year, before graduation hit; Ray wanted to go to Atlanta and Rob wanted to go to family back in Miami.

“It’s like - you know - I really like you Nate. I like you a lot. But long distance? It never works. It’s better to end it now.”

There was Sage, a wild child trust fund girl that wanted to save the rainforest with Daddy’s money. She laughed when he asked her to be his girlfriend.

“That’s cute, you thought we were dating? It’s not that serious babe.”

There was Fi, a survivor in a camp Ray had stumbled across after leaving the Fort. She was the reason Ray stuck around for three weeks. They had had an awful fight before the camp was overrun, and she hadn’t made it out alive.

“You’re too soft, Ray. I’d chew up your sunshine and spit it out. I don’t want to see you again.”

There was Ronnie, the permanent student with four different bachelor degrees. He cheated on Ray with one of his roommates after six months of dating.

“I was bored, Nate. I’m not ready to just settle down, dude. You’re smothering me.”

There was Destiny, a small town, kindred girl he found in Atlanta not too long after Xavier. She had looked at him in the worst way when Ray had come out to her.

“I’m - I’m not - That’s not what God would want for you, you know?”

There was Jenny, a financial advisor that Ray had met through the bar and mutual friends. She had always been so carefree, maybe too carefree, maybe just too free in general.

“Oh Darlin’, I don’t think so. We’re not exactly endgame, are we?”

It didn’t matter who, when, where they were. Ray wasn’t worth keeping around - that was the universally proven fact. It was one he had to stomach his entire life, and well, it sucked, but Ray was not one to stay down. He washed off the mud, dusted off his boots, and got back up again.

000. +

Ray tried not to play the self pity card. It just wasn’t his style. But with the outbreak, losing his family, and trying to re-invent himself yet again? A relationship was the last thing he wanted or needed. Fairvale was a clean break, it was (mostly) mess free. He could be whoever he wanted or needed. He could start over, again. He could protect himself and his heart.

Love mucked all of that up. It always had.

So when he caught himself - again, Ray, really? - people watching with his eyes settling on one person, he ignored it. When he felt that small flip-flop in his belly at their smile, he pushed it down. When his day would brighten at the familiar face of a kind-of-regular-that-showed up, Ray decided he would not have a crush again, thank you very much, and make things uneven. 

He could not afford to give up his heart any more than he already had. He couldn’t afford to be let down, disregarded, by someone again.

[hopelikethemoon]

The Addition (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: The Addition  Rating: PG-13 Length: 3000 Warnings: None. Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set in March 1997. This is the pupper. This is just a everything-and-the-kitchen-sink chapter.  Summary: Reader finally gets what she wants. 

Taglist:  @grapemama​  @seawhisperer​ @huliabitch​​ @pedropascalito​​ @rogrsnbarnes​​@thewallpapergoesorido​​ @twomoonstwosuns​​ @gooddaykate​​ @livasaurasrex​​ @ham4arrow​​@hiscyarika​​ @plexflexico​​ @readsalot73​​ @hdlynn​​ @lokiaddicted​​ @randomness501​​@fioccodineveautunnale​  @roxypeanut​​ @just-add-butter​​ @snivellusim​​@amarvelousmandalorian​​ @lukesrighthand​​ @historynerd04​​@mrsparknuts​@synystersilenceinblacknwhite​​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​​@exrebelshocktrooper​​@awesomefandomsunited​​ @ah-callie​​ @swhiskeys​​ @lady-tano​​ @beskar-droids​​ @space-floozy @cable-kenobi​​ @longitud-de-onda​​ @cool-ultra-nerd​​ @himbopoes​​@findhimfives​​ @pedrosdoll​​

“You’re lucky I’m homebound,” You remarked as you settled into the chair beside Javier in the little doggie playroom. “I’d be here every day trying to adopt another one.” 

“We haven’t adopted this one yet.” 

“She’s perfect.” You looped your arm through his, leaning towards him to rest your cheek on his shoulder. “I hope she loves us.” 

“A little younger than we intended to get.” He pointed out, looking down at the little information card the man had given him to review while they got the dog ready to visit with them. “Two is still a puppy.” 

“Two is a full-grown dog.” You took the card from him and looked it over. “She’s supposed to be great with kids and calm.” 

“Two is still going to require exercise.” Javier gave you a look, a brow quirking upwards. 

“I can sit outside and drink my tea and let her run around the yard.” You waved your hand dismissively, “That’s the reason we have Josie. She can help her burn energy.”

“Is that why we have Josie?”

You nodded. “It was all a scheme to get a dog. Lance shot down the idea of getting one in Colombia so I went through a multi-year plan to have a baby with you, move to Florida, all so I could get a dog.” 

Javier snorted. “I wouldn’t put it past you.” He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, rubbing his hand over your shoulders. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” You knew he was worried, but he was slowly driving you crazy with asking you how you felt every thirty minutes. Pass out once and end up in the hospital… 

The door opened and the young man who had been helping the two of you entered with the beautiful dog at the end of a red leash. “We’ve been calling her Sasha, but she doesn’t really respond to it.” He explained to you.

The dog was a little skittish at first, keeping close to — you think his name was Owen — as she sniffed at the floor. 

“She’s beautiful.” You smiled, leaning forward and holding out your hand. “Any idea what she is?”

“Most likely a mutt.” He explained. “She was an owner surrender. They got reassigned out of the country.”

“Poor thing.” You clicked your tongue against your teeth. “Come here, sweetheart.”

Javier was watching you, his eyes flickering between you and the dog. “Looks like a mountain dog.”

“With some poodle, most likely.” Owen offered. “She won’t get much bigger. The vet’s checked her out and she’s done growing.”

“Good.” Javier, ran his hands over his legs before he shifted forward and held out his hand, much the same way you were.

The dog tugged at the lead, seeming far more keen now that both of you were interested in her. 

“Is she house trained?” Javier questioned. 

“And doesn’t pull when she goes on a walk.” Owen let go of the leash, letting her sniff her way closer to the pair of you. 

“Come here, girl.” You cooed, your smile broadening as she bounded towards you. She shoved her cool nose against your palm, licking at you curiously. 

Javier reached out and petted her back. “You’re a soft girl, aren't you?”

She wagged her tail, flopping onto her side and showing her belly to both of you.

“I think she likes you.” You teased, nudging Javier in the ribs. You looked up at Owen, grinning. “I think she’s the one.”

“Easy there,” Javier told you. “Isn’t there more we should do?”

Owen shook his head. “If you feel comfortable with her, we can start the outtake paperwork.”

You looked at Javier, pursing your lips. “Please? I mean, I’m coming back and getting her Monday even if you say ‘no’.”

“I am not going to say ‘no’.” He huffed, rolling his eyes with a shake of his head. “Like I’m about to deny a pregnant woman what she wants.” He muttered under his breath. 

“I’ll stay with her, if you want to start on the papers.” You told Javier with a grin. 

“Alicia will help you at the front desk.” Owen told Javier. 

The dog jumped up when Javier stopped petting her, propping herself up to rest her paws on his knees. 

“I’m screwed.” Javier laughed. “There’s three of you pulling this look now.”

You chuckled heartily. “Pretty soon you’ll be outnumbered four-to-one.”

“I was outnumbered when it was just you.” He kissed your cheek before he scooted the dog off his legs and got up. “Thanks.” Javier patted Owen on the shoulder as he walked past and headed out to the front desk.

“You’ve got yourself a new home, pretty girl.” You told the dog, scratching behind her ear. She was the absolute doppiest dog, lolling her head to the side with her tongue hanging out. 

“Any ideas on names?” Owen questioned you.

You glanced up, “Stevie.”

“Like Nicks?”

“Yeah, actually.” You laughed, looking back at the dog. “Are you a Stevie?”

She barked softly. 

“None of that.” You scrunched up your nose, rubbing at her head. “Javi will kill us both if you’re a barker.”

“Only when she gets excited.”

“We have an almost four-year-old who is much the same.” You laughed softly, patting your knees. 

Stevie jumped up and put her paws on your legs, leaning up to lick at your face. “You’re just so loving, aren't you?”

“When are you due?” Owen questioned. 

“Mid-to-late May.” You answered, glancing up at him. “I know it’s crazy to get a dog right before having a baby, but… I’m desperate.” 

“Is he not around a lot?” He nodded his head towards the door. 

“He’s around all the time,” You shrugged. “I just want a dog.” You scratched behind both of Stevie’s ears. “You’re going to be spoiled rotten.” 

“Ah, I see.” Owen leaned back against the wall, folding his arms across his chest. “I was going to suggest I could help you train her, if you were lonely.”

Your eyes snapped up. “Are you trying to come onto me?” Your head tilted back and you laughed — loudly. “Kid, he and I could find a dozen and a half ways to kill you with the dog toys in this room alone. I’m flattered, but no.” 

Color flooded his face. “I wasn’t… I’m sorry.” 

The door popped open and Javier emerged, “Well, baby. You’re the proud owner of a dog.” 

“Did you hear that, Stevie? You’re going home with us!” The dog barked again excitedly, her tail thumping against the floor. 

 —————

 Stevie alternated between being stretched out on the backseat of the Jeep and bouncing back and forth to look out the windows.

“Didn’t he say she was calm?”

“She’s been cooped up in a kennel for who knows how long, Javi. Let her be excited.” You rolled your eyes at him, laughing quietly. “He also tried to hit on me while you were gone.”

“Excuse me?” Javier cocked his head to the side as he stopped at a light. “He did what?”

“I’m impressed that this,” You gestured to your stomach. “isn’t an instant detractor.” 

“I keep telling you, you look good.” He reached over and gave your knee a squeeze, fingers playing little patterns there. Some things never changed. “What’d you say?”

You caught his hand, bringing it to your stomach to stop the patterns he was drawing on your leg. “I told him I could kill him a dozen different ways.” 

“Baby!” Javier laughed, pushing his sunglasses up his brow. “You can’t just threaten to kill people.” 

“Has it ever stopped me before?” You questioned, sliding his hand to the spot where the baby was kicking. “I also said you’d kill him. I find murder tends to distract from attempts to hit on someone.” 

Javier rubbed his thumb over your stomach. “Someone’s excited.” You quipped, keeping his hand there as he started through the intersection. “You know, baby.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth. “I always thought your threats of violence were a turn on.” 

“Really?” You rolled your eyes. “That makes perfect sense with you, Javier.” You glanced over your shoulder to the backseat, pleased to see that Stevie had settled down. “I mean, we have established I’m a sadist.” 

“The truth comes out.” He reluctantly pulled his hand away so he could turn the corner. Once it was safe, he reached back over, letting you guide his hand back to the right spot. She had quieted a little, but that didn’t dissuade him from keeping his hand there. Just in case. 

“Thank you for agreeing to Stevie.” 

“You did get Josie in on the plan.” He quipped with a chuckle. “It’s all good, baby. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve a dog.” He gave her leg a squeeze, before gripping at the steering wheel. 

 ———

 “Like Uncle Steve?” Josie questioned as she laid on the floor, on her back, beside Stevie. You were pleased with how quickly the two had bonded with each other. One hour at home and Stevie was sprawled out on the floor beside her human-sibling. 

“Yep.” Javier confirmed with a nod as he cracked open a bottle of beer, taking a swig before he moved to join you on the sofa. “Just like Uncle Steve.”

“Technically, Stevie Nicks…” You corrected. “But mostly to torture Steve.” 

Monica laughed as she looked up from the book she was reading. “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who named their dog to spite their best friend.” She looked at Javier pointedly.

“I don’t know what heinous lies the Murphys have fed you, but… I don’t know if I’d call him my best friend.” Javier protested with a roll of his eyes, sipping at his beer. 

“Ignore him.” You remarked, stretching out lengthwise on the sofa and stretching your legs over his. “We moved all the way to Miami just so he could hang out with Steve.” 

“Wait, really?” Monica’s brows rose upwards. “I don’t think you ever mentioned this in class.”

Javier dragged his hand over his face, before scratching at the back of his neck. “I knew it was a half-decent place to raise a family.” He squeezed your calf. “And I liked the prospect of Josie having a readymade friend in Olivia.”

“And Emily, daddy.” Josie reminded him, rolling onto her side to pet Stevie. She lifted her head, looking towards her. The dog sighed contentedly and shuffled on the floor closer to Josie. 

“Emily wasn’t here yet, Josie.” He took another swig of beer before he sat the bottle aside. “If I’d known Miami would be hot as fuck like Colombia—”

“Fuck!” Josie shouted, causing you to jerk upright, turning to stare at her. 

“Joséfina Selina Peña!” You raised your voice slightly and instantly regretted it when you saw Monica flinch in reaction to it. Stevie started barking, bouncing around confusedly as Josie scrambled towards the sofa.

“Mommy! I didn’t mean to say it.” Josie flashed you her best attempt at a charming grin. “I’m sorry mommy!” 

Javier picked her up and settled her onto the sofa between the two of you. “JoJo, you can’t be saying those words.”

She hid her face in shame. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey.” You played with her curls. “It’s okay, babydoll. I’m not mad. You just can’t be saying that.” 

“But daddy says it.”

You swatted him in the arm. “And he’s been told not to. Haven’t you, Javier?”

He rocked his jaw and sighed. “Yeah. Josie, you can’t say that, okay?”

“But why?”

“They’re grown-up words.”

“Like grown-up drinks?” She looked at you then. “Why don’t you drink grown-up drinks?”

“Because they’re bad for babies. Like you and your sister.” You rested your hand on your stomach. “I’m not mad at you, Josie. But we have a swear jar for a reason.”

“It sounded funny when daddy said it.” 

“Daddy shouldn’t have said it around you.” Javier sighed heavily and pulled Josie into his lap. “Try not to say it again, okay?” He kissed the top of her head.

“Okay.” Josie turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Can I please play with Stevie now?”

“Yes, baby. You can play with Stevie.” You leaned over and kissed her cheek, rubbing your nose against it. “Just watch your mouth.” 

She made a dramatic kissing sound as she returned the kiss. She wiggled out of Javier’s arms and moved to slide off the sofa. She crawled, on her hands and knees, towards Stevie who already seemed very amused. 

“You guys are good parents.” Monica remarked, looking between the two of you. “Josie and the baby are lucky to have perfect parents.”

Javier draped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “We’re certainly not perfect.” He squeezed your shoulder three times.

“We’re just two people trying to do right by our kids.” 

“Which includes you.” Javier told Monica, letting go of you so he could grab his beer, taking a drink. He crossed his leg over his knee and rested the beer on his ankle as he sank back against the sofa. 

Monica’s brows furrowed, “What?”

You laughed softly, patting Javier’s leg. “I decided that we’ve unofficially adopted you. Your parents might have brought you into the world, but we’re going to make sure you thrive in it.” 

She stared at you. “I really don’t deserve that.”

“You’re a good kid, Monica.” You smiled at her. “You deserve a good life.” 

“Thank you.” Monica rubbed the sleeve of her sweatshirt under her nose. “You’re going to make me cry again.”

Stevie jumped up suddenly and started barking. 

“Hush!” Javier clapped his hands, sitting his beer aside as he got up off the sofa. “What is it?” He questioned, kneeling down in front of Stevie. She bounced a little, barking again as the doorbell sounded. 

“I’ll get it,” You sighed, peeling yourself off the sofa and making your way towards the front of the house. You peered through the window, looking to see who was at the door. “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

Of course, it just had to be one of the moms from ballet. Javier was right, you were leaving that studio as soon as you got back out into the world. 

You pulled the door open, hands on your hips. “Can I help you Chelly?”

“Oh.” She laughed nervously, giving you a wary look. “I was just dropping off this beef casserole. Missy mentioned seeing Javier at the grocery store and I thought…” She tilted her head. “She made it sound like you weren’t up and about.”

You glared at the woman, “Missy is prone to overdramatizing situations.” 

“Baby, who is it?” Javier called out from the family room. Stevie was still barking and now, given from what you could hear, Josie had decided to join in. 

“Chelly.”

“Who?” He questioned. 

“From dance.” You called back to him, before you turned your attention back to the woman. God, these women needed a fucking hobby that was something other than chasing after Javier’s cock. “I appreciate the casserole, but Javier has dinner covered.” You fixed her with a faux-smile. “And I don’t eat beef.”

“You shouldn’t make him work so hard,” She told you with a tone that made you want to throttle her. “I’m sure he’d appreciate this casserole.” 

You pressed your tongue to the inside of your cheek, staring at her as you considered your plan of action here. You stepped out onto the brick stoop, pulling the door closed behind you. “I’m only going to say this one time, Chelly so listen. And you can take this back to your little friends and tell them what a horrid bitch I am.” You crossed your arms across your chest, “I know what you’re doing. You heard I was in the hospital — smelt blood in the water. This vulture act is going to stop. Now. If I catch another one of you sniffing around my family, I’m going to make you regret it.”

“It’s just a casserole—”

“It’s not.” You snapped, fingers curled into fists. “I’m not an idiot.” You narrowed your eyes. “I didn’t put up with six years of bullshit working for the DEA to put up with this shit from a bunch of high strung, horny, dance moms.” 

“I don’t—”

“I guess I should thank you,” You said snidely, a slight smirk playing over your lips. “Last time I saw you, you thought you were clever by insinuating that Javier was fucking his students.” Oh, the irony of the current situation. “It inspired a rather fun afternoon fuck for us. So thanks, Chelly.” 

She looked mortified and it really only seemed to fuel you. 

“So take your casserole and fuck off.” 

Chelly started to say something, but you were quick to cut her off. 

“I don’t want to hear your voice” You snapped, taking a step forward. The door opened behind you and you turned around to meet Javier’s eyes. “I have it handled.” 

“Alright, baby.” He said with a faint smile, before he closed the door back.

You looked back at Chelly. “Why are you still here?”

“I’m… so sorry.” 

“Yeah, it’s a little late for that.” Your brows rose upwards. “And tell your friends they can fuck off too.” With that you, headed back inside — nearly crashing into Javier who had been, unsurprisingly, waiting right on the other side of the door. “Hi.”

“You’re a fucking force, baby.” He grinned at you, that look of sheer adoration making your heart ache in the best of ways. 

“We don’t have to deal with them anymore.” You told him with a resolute nod. “Where are the kids?”

“Monica took Stevie and Josie out back.” He grinned at you, “Did you really just tell her to fuck off?”

“This door is surprisingly thin, apparently.” You laughed as you stepped towards him. You reached up, tracing your fingers over his cheek and the soft scruff there. “Yeah. I did. It was pretty spectacular. She might cry in her minivan.” 

Javier leaned down and kissed you. “I love you.” 

You brushed your nose against his. “Right back at you, babe.” 

[nicknellie]

I hope that this didn’t take too much time to do so that you were able to get your schoolwork!! This is definitely after the fact but I wish you the best of luck with your work.

(Accidentally forgot to answer about Reggie having a box similar to Rose’s so I’m going to do that briefly)

1. Unlike Rose’s box which was going to be used by someone else Reggie’s was just going to be used by himself also probably only looked at by the rest of Sunset Curve so he probably didn’t think/care about what it was going to look like.

2. The fact that Reggie would go to Luke’s parents and ask for baby pictures is perfection. Also the fact that he just casually stole a box of baby photos and or has pictures of a random baby (if it’s not Bobby) is hilarious and I was laughing so hard at that.

3. Yes, and that would explain that why Reggie didn’t recognize the box at first just because it was a mindless one he made, maybe not even one of his boxes that he put thought into it (what photos/items should I use ect) but just random stuff

Now onto this post (just starting at 2 so the numbers line up)

2. Yes, maybe the guys don’t even get a chance to ask him what’s wrong but Reggie randomly blurts this out and then about five minutes later they’re all crying. Bobby forces all of them to talk, even Alex.

3. Yes that’s exactly what I mean! Just because although he does have his moments of indecisiveness he’s mostly not really an indecisive person so once he believes in some thing he stands with it 100%. For sure, if someone (usually Alex) points out why/how he was wrong Luke will admit that he was wrong (depending on the reasoning it’s mostly begrudgingly)

4. You took the words right out of my mouth and I also love the fact that you said that it’s usually when he’s writing and not in general, because I feel like outside of writing Luke tries to be as conscious as he can about his bandmates well-being and stuff. (‘Luke, once again you are not a solo artist if that was the case then Reggie would already have a country album out and me and Bobby would make our own little band of ourselves just to spite you’ Alex at some point)

5. Alex definitely has quick wit, however a lot of time he just doesn’t say it (unless it’s the boys)

6. Oh, that’s just hurtful thinking about that. After they passed Bobby was never the same, especially since everything that he loved and did had so many memories of the boys that for the longest time he couldn’t do some of them without thinking of them. Also when he went to the garage he was so overwhelmed with memories and the fact that they would never be anymore Sunset Curve memories.

8. Yes, I love that so much. Also I think part of the reason why the police alerted Emily and Mitch was because Luke was supposed to be a missing person so once Bobby confirmed that the body was Luke’s that’s when they were reached out too (long shot but just thinking)

The Rubik’s cube aw, maybe that’s the one thing that Bobby took just to remember them (a drawing of Reggie’s and a small jigsaw of Alex’s)

10. The theme park idea is genius, and I love the detail of Reggie feeling like a proud parent although the boys would gladly go onto a ride that Reggie is comfortable with (for some reason he loves roller coasters as long as they up closer to the ground, with being afraid of heights definitely not not something that goes up high). However Reggie doesn’t want to be a problem and has no issue watching them for a ride or two, hence the feeling of being like a parent.

Yes, and although Alex can tell that it’s a lie, Reggie gets rather emotional about it. (Reggie might have been the one who gave him the drink with the 6 shots of toffee nut and burst out into tears upon realizing)

11. That’s exactly what they are like, I feel like people may be able to tell that Reggie is lying however that’s a normal thing that he does so he easily could not be. (He is)

Luke “where is your kitchen by the way?” Patterson is the great thing I’ve seen. (yes Bobby is so causal to a point that it’s very obvious that it’s not causal hence for it being easy to tell that he’s lying)

13. Phew, wasn’t sure if I would be able to get the link to work or not so I’m glad that it was! (They are so talented, and that is such a great drawing of Reggie in my opinion)

Line dancing, yes also they random break out into square dancing. (Also the boys in cowboy hats and cowboy boots, all the fashion, is an image that I never thought I would need in my life)

14. I’m glad that you liked it! Also yess, also I just want to see one of the boys kind of make fun of Caleb with the devil point of view (bonus points if ‘nick’ is there and has to see everything)

Also I completely forgot to comment this last time, but Reggie is a huge Johnny Cash fan and those three songs are his favorite from the artist. (They are the most played songs and whenever the other boys hear them they are so done but eventually start singing along)

15. Also just randomly has Star Wars characters in the drawing, for the longest time a small Han-solo is what he used instead of a signature.

16. Wait yes I love that. I wasn’t thinking along those lines but that’s exact what happens. Reggie would also be the one who always tried to eat the batter (as does Luke and technically they are both banned from the kitchen)

17. Oh my goodness young Alex. I completely agree with what you said, also picturing a baby Alex with frosting all over his face from baking gone wrong

19. Yes, also Reggie randomly has the boys join him for dancing in the rain (thought of that due to the fact that you said rain is relaxing so Reggie would just always want to be out in the rain but not when it’s storming)

20. This is literally it’s the mindset of anyone who meets Alex

Even Willie gets on board, especially when he fell off his board (worst line I’ve ever said but Willie would be the pun making type of person)

Also if it was for anyone else then Emily and Mitch wouldn’t let them however since it’s Alex exactly as you said ‘boys let’s get in the car’

21. Yes, Alex always randomly shows up. Even has his own key for whenever he needs to stay there but no one is around, honestly Mitch doesn’t have a lot of characteristics (I mean the song is mostly focused on Luke’s mom and stuff) so him being a supportive father figure is everything

23. Agreed, I want all of this. Honestly anything and everything Rose is needed

24. I just want more performances from both actors because they are fantastic. Also the fact that Flying Solo didn’t have Flynn singing at all was a lost opportunity to be honest. Not sure if you’ve seen lemonade mouth however with Flynn as their rapper they would be that band

Willie and Alex singing together is everything I need, just a duet needs to be in season 2. Also we were robbed of them dancing and I blame Caleb, so them dancing is also needed in season two.

Exactly, Flynn is so loyal and we need more of her (also her and Carrie moments)

25. I agree I think it took him sometime to go to therapy. (Possibly when he had Carrie just because he didn’t want to fail as a father and thought it would help him stress less about being a father, also raising a kid with no support from his friends that would’ve definitely helped out)

26. Wait yes, I want to see all of this as well. Especially him explaining his actions and apologizing, and that idea of him being their manger is brilliant. Going on with that, just like with Sunset Curve he books the gigs and stuff and Flynn is their social media manger (just because she can not be apart of the band somehow)

27. I didn’t think about that fully but yes, the fact that Julie is getting older and he’s not would definitely hurt him

28. I love those songs titles, we also have ‘if you wake me up at 4AM again it will not be nice’ ‘Bobby I don’t care how much I love your pieces if you keep leaving your yarn in random places I will scream’

30. Yes, yes, that is precisely what happens and the only way Ray should find out that the boys are ghosts. Tia Victoria does react that and her and Alex bonding is everything (also her and Willie bonding because)

31. There are so many ruined photos and Reggie being so upset about it which is exactly what causes Bobby to master the skill.

32. Alex always has about five stickers, some that are for Reggie and a handful that fans also give to Alex because they can. Legitimately Sunset curves fan base is so supportive and one of the best boy band fan base ever. Luke was once given a portrait of the bandmembers as animals and it is probably framed somewhere, also Bobby has one that someone painted of the band. Honestly the reason why Alex was probably given a jigsaw is because Reggie randomly said that he liked them to a fan and they just had to give one to Alex.

34. Yes, Luke also got stuck in a fridge once much to everyone’s confusion. Him randomly being in a suit of armour is the greatest thing I have ever heard

35. Willie is extremely photogenic, yes. Legitimately Reggie has so many pictures of Willie and Alex and Willie being photogenic has just cause Reggie to take even more. And once this discovery is made, on the photography account there’s a lot more photos of someone skateboarding (also just in general photos of Willie). Just photo shoots with Reggie, like everyone has had one at some point (even Carlos)

37. Alex just gives Julie a massive hug, all of the time and especially when she is sad. Also she definitely takes that hoodie, all of them take his hoodies. Legitimately by this point it’s not just Alex‘s clothes it is the bands (also Flynn has a hoodie) (Willie has takes hoodies)

39. Wait yes, (possibly could’ve been Trevor who gave Carrie that idea for costumes because he remembers when Sunset Curve did). All of those colours fit so well, also I can kind of see Bobby is yellow. They definitely have matching onesies, like two or three pairs to be honest.

Best photo ever, that is exactly what they look like

40. Alex teaching Willie how to dance is adorable and I’m just thinking about how cute that would be. Due to seeing Willie dance during ‘the other side of Hollywood’ Alex thinks that he would be able to waltz pretty well (at least be a better beginner than the rest of the band who can’t dance) and then is mistaken very quickly

This is just me saying the boys about 100 times because I can’t say three names together apparently 😂😂

You know the drill, under the keep reading 😂

I did manage to do my school work thankfully! We won’t mention the fact that I handed in every single piece late, but I don’t really think that’s my fault, it’s theirs for not explaining how all this was going to work. Anyway! Not the point! I keep getting so excited to respond to these lmao let’s gooo!

1. Yeah exactly, he was probably more concerned with just finding something to hold all his random bits and pieces. Or I just thought right now it could be like not just a “normal box” but maybe like an old case for his bass? Like he got a nice newer one and needed something to do with the older one, and it had locks so that was handy, so he just uses it for that. Or another type of less boring box maybe idk

2. Lmao yeah I laughed so hard when I came up with it and I like I totally think he would! Like if he couldn’t find real Bobby photos (I reckon there weren’t many anyway) then he just got those and Bobby was like “Reggie that baby looks nothing like me” and Reggie just shrugs like “close enough”

3. Yeah exactly! As if he’s only just starting to make the box and is putting whatever in it, not just the things that mean something

Ok now non-box-related stuff lol

2. Yesss omg I love that. They’re just in the middle of playing through a song and Alex notices that Reggie is slowly dropping out and turning distant and he stops drumming (which makes the other two stop playing as well) but before any of them can ask Reggie what’s up he just kind of explodes. Tears all round, mostly Luke because he’s so guiltily relieved it’s not just him feeling like this

3. Totally! Alex points out all the logical stuff and Luke is just frowning the whole time like a furious puppy, and when Alex is finished he just says “right Luke?” and Luke just keeps scowling but nods at him. Doesn’t work if Reggie or Bobby try it, it does work when Julie does it, and surprisingly also works when Willie does it (because Willie is really good at reading people, as seen with Alex, so he knows how to approach any situation like that)

4. Yes exactly Luke is so caring (like in ep 7 when Alex is practically attacking his drums and he just gives a quick “hey Alex you alright?”) it’s just sometimes he lets his passion get in the way, that’s usually where music comes in! And omg that’s so perfect lmaooo I live for Alex kindly telling Luke off to get him back on track I love it

5. Yeah he knows the boys won’t take him seriously but he’s more careful around other people - the first time he says something sarcastic to Julie that he meant as a joke he worries for like a split second but then she immediately comes back with something terrible (because we all know Julie is terrible at comebacks and does not have Alex’s quick wit) and from then on they have this friendly-mean banter going back and forth between them

6. Yes exactlyyy 🥺😭 I feel like he went back to the garage once and then either he couldn’t make himself go back there ever again OR he couldn’t make himself leave for a long time and stayed there alone for days on end - either way he suffered a lot, being alone with his thoughts and his guilt. He started trying to talk to the boys - like Julie talking to her mum when she runs out of the Orpheum in ep 9. “I don’t know if you can hear me guys, but I am so sorry. I’m sorry I let you down, that I wasn’t there, that I can’t make this right. I miss you so much and... I don’t know what I’m ever going to do without you.”

8. Ohhh yes that makes way more sense actually, I like that a lot! They probably just passed Bobby as he was leaving the morgue and they were coming in to see Luke and that hurts to think about actually oh god. And yesss he so took the Rubik’s Cube and for a long time he would fiddle with it when nervous; he never managed to solve it though, not even once

10. Yes definitely!! He loves rides like the Spinning Teacups (or whatever variation they have at the theme park of that ride) and it’s Luke who will sit out on that one because the spinning makes him feel ill. He’s less happy to sit out than Reggie is because he worries he’ll miss out on the fun, but he’d rather not vomit everywhere. Now it looks like I’m going off on a theme park tangent so I’m just gonna let it happen - Alex adores rides, there’s nothing he won’t go on. Like he’s unafraid even though people would expect them to hate it but he knows they’ve been tested and they’re safe so he’s more than happy to spend all day on the biggest rides. Bobby likes water-based rides and logflumes and stuff like that - they always make sure they go on those at the end of the day because they have to do it for Bobby but they don’t want to walk around soaking wet all day. Reggie likes getting/taking photos with all the dressed up mascots wandering around, Luke is thrilled by any interactive rides (except ghost trains because we’ve already established he hates horror movies and he thinks it’s like being in a horror movie), Alex also really enjoys just wandering around the big park and seeing people have a good time, and Bobby actually likes co-ordinating their day and making sure everyone gets to do what they want to

Yes I can totally see that! Like Reggie somehow didn’t know what one of his best friends was allergic to and felt so guilty afterwards. It’s a sore spot, they can’t bring it up or he’ll just start crying and hugging Alex for hours on end. Reggie will say “I’m so sorry Alex I could have killed you that day!” and Alex just goes “dude we all died anyway”

11. With Reggie it always turns into a game of “is he lying or is this actually some totally messed up thing he really did?” The most difficult time anyone’s ever had to figure it out was when he said he’d met Queen Elizabeth - like yeah it’s unlikely but it’s definitely the sort of thing Reggie would somehow accidentally do so??? (It was a lie, but not on purpose - he thought he had met her but it was just some random old lady at a store)

13. Omg yes!!! I feel like they just get bored during the day and Luke would just go “hey Reggie, come and Dosey Doe with me” and it would turn into all four of them dancing around the studio. And yes I think out of all the unlikely things I want in season 2 full cowboy outfits is very high up on my list

14. Ahskfldo YES Nick witnessing the entire thing!! Assuming lifers still can’t see the boys next season it’ll be so funny if Nick can see them because obviously he’s actually Caleb so he has to mentally restrain himself from reacting at all to them mocking him because he can’t reveal himself. So it’s just Nick shaking with anger and Julie saying “Nick? You okay?” and how biting back something mean about the boys and growling “fine” instead. And yes 100% Reggie plays those songs on repeat and the guys pretend to hate them but they can’t deny good music when they hear it so they do join in

15. THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVER OMG THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT! A tiny Han Solo in the corner of every piece, no matter if it’s Star Wars or not omg I love it I will never get over this

16. Yes lmao both of them are trying to sneak around Alex and duck under his arms to get at the batter and he’s just like “GUYS I am literally using an electric whisk, are you trying to get your fingers chopped off? Don’t even answer that, you’re banished from the kitchen, goodbye. Go annoy Bobby instead”

17. That is so cute omfg and like all over his clothes and in his hair. He just looks an utter mess but he’s smiling so wide and is the cutest baby ever (he was easily the cutest baby out of Sunset Curve, Reggie as a close second)

19. Wait yes I love that! Reggie’s just like “y’know it’s a lovely day outside d’you want to go dance with me” and Alex just goes “Reg it’s tipping it down. Of course” and it takes a while but Luke and Bobby eventually join them. Lots of splashing in puddles because the four of them are literal children and think it’s funny

20. That is the greatest thing ever andkdllf and I love how that was literally my reaction after episode 1 of the show too like wow Alex really is just that lovable. That pun as well I literally laughed out loud - I’ve reblogged/added to a post a while ago where I said Reggie and Willie communicate with each other only in ghost puns so I wholeheartedly support that. And exactly! If Luke suggested throwing eggs at anyone else’s house he would be sent to his room but he mentions it’s the Mercers’ and Emily just goes “I think we’re out of eggs, I’ll need to go shopping first, come on”

21. Yes omg idk why but the image of Alex having his own key is the sweetest thing ever - maybe because it symbolises him finally having a place to call home?? And yes I totally agree, Mitch doesn’t have a lot of characteristics (I wrote a massive list before where I made a load of headcanons about him because he didn’t have enough screen time lol) and he would develop so much if he took Alex under his wing

24. Omg yes you read my mind! She so should have had a verse in Flying Solo! Like thinking about it it’s totally plausible that Julie read her the poem before and Flynn, being Flynn, wanted to add her own verse about how much she loves Julie and how she’ll always be there for her! Or she could have at least like added harmonies or something?? Idk it’s just that Flynn is in the music program too and frankly I’d like to see her do a little more music. And I haven’t seen Lemonade Mouth but I did see a commentary video about it on YouTube (I think it was I’M LEMONADE MOUTH by Danny Gonzalez if you’re interested (but that might not be the title idk)) and if I’m remembering it right then YES absolutely! And yes exactly Willie would have danced with him if Caleb hadn’t made him leave! I’m still really angry about that because just think about how much fun they would have had together!!!!

25. Omg yes! I love that, I agree that it was because of Carrie being born that made him finally go. He wanted to be strong for her now that he finally had a second (third I guess?) chance at getting family life right and he knew he wasn’t in the right state of mind for it. And omg that mental image 🥺 if the boys had lived they would have been Uncle Luke, Uncle Alex, and Uncle Reggie to Carrie (and possibly even to Julie if they stayed friends with Rose too) and they would have raised her and maybe she would have grown up to be a little nicer and she and Julie and Flynn would have all stayed friends 🥺😭

26. Yes yes yes!! He gets back into his role of managing the band and even though the boys haven’t totally forgiven him he still finds himself able to write good music again and make jewellery again and he steps foot in the garage for the first time in decades because he has his band back and he feels so much happier and freer and he’s just ecstatic to have another chance!

28. Lmfao yes those are perfect! “Bobby I don’t care how much I love your pieces if you keep leaving your yarn in random places I will scream” was written after Reggie tripped over a bit of yarn that was somehow stretched all the way across the garage like a trap and when he fell he somehow managed to get totally tangled up in in

30. Omg yeah I can totally see her and Willie bonding!! I feel like Willie is kind of like an old soul and can just get along with everyone but he takes a special liking to Victoria for whatever reason and loves finding ways to talk to her

32. Yes! Sunset Curve just have the nicest, friendliest fan base and everyone is kind and respectful and all they want to do is give them stickers and fanart! Luke absolutely adores that portrait omg so Reggie and Luke would be puppies, I feel like Bobby could be a cat, and Alex would be something like an owl or something idk but they just are all captured as whatever the perfect animal for them and it’s adorable. Yeah you’re right I think Reggie just likes talking to fans and casually mentions it one day and the fans show up to the next gig with a 1000-piece puzzle for Alex

34. In a fridge omg I love it that’s brilliant. The boys laughed at him for a solid hour before helping him get out

35. Yes to all of that I love it!!! I also thought about Ray helping out - like he can’t see Reggie, but he goes along to all these photoshoots (and mostly can’t see who they’re taking pictures of either) and helps with angles and lighting and says well done to Reggie whenever he does a good job - Ray can’t see but Reggie smiles so wide at that

37. Ahsklfskdlfl yeah Alex has no hoodies left because they’ve all gone to a different band member or Flynn or Willie

39. YES OH MY GOD. When Carrie was just starting Dirty Candi she was saying about how she needed something to make them stand out and Trevor just immediately said “matching outfits, colour co-ordinated” without even thinking about it

40. Oh absolutely - but at some point Alex has to wonder if Willie is tripping so often because he can’t dance or so that Alex is forced to catch him. Willie is very eager to learn how to do lifts and stuff like that (even though it’s been years since even Alex did them) and he thinks it’ll be romantic. It is, but not because the lift is like this perfect moment, because it’s them messing up and being silly and just enjoying each other’s company 🥺

Not gonna lie this whole post might be my favourite we’ve made so far 😂

[missramu]

Johnny Joestar Headcanons

So, I was really bored and decided to write about my favorite Jojo, 𝓙𝓸𝓱𝓷𝓷𝔂! This is a mix of headcanons with some canon stuff.

So, here we go!

✰ Johnny was that typical doll-like perfect baby: curly blond hair, pale skin, pink cheeks, little freckles and big blue eyes that followed everything with curiosity. The clothes he used to wear also helped to mantain that look: in the Victorian era, babies from wealthy families used to wear dresses with plenty of ruffles, laces, ribbons, buttons and frills -no matter their sex- and bonnets. Nowadays he still has freckles; although not that many. They’re mostly on his cheeks and arms.

✰As we know, Johnny is the youngest of two brothers (being Nicholas 5 years older tan him). This, plus the fact that he also looked really fragile, made his mother really over-protective of him. This was usually seen as Johnny’s being Anne’s favorite, but she only wanted to protect his youngest son. The way his mom treated him made Johnny a shy, yet kind, child. That kindness made him adopt Danny, as well as taking care of Slow Dancer even if he knew that she was old and almost ruthless.

✰ His hair gets wavy in humid weather. When he was a child his hair was a curly mess after taking baths, but now it simply curls in soft waves, which he tries to straighten as much as possible.

✰He was born in Danville, Kentucky; so he has a heavy Southern accent. But since the Joestar family used to constantly travel to Britain -and actually lived there for some years-, Johnny added some British idioms to his vocabulary, thus resulting in a funny combo of British slang said in heavy Southern accent.

✰He grew up in a wealthy family -his father was tied to aristocracy, and also was a famous racer and breeder, having won the Triple Crown seven times and owning farms to breed racing horses-, so he’s a little bit of a spoiled brat sometimes. This status also made him picky over certain things, like food or baths.

✰Johnny was educated to be a “British gentleman” and, even if his own personality sometimes makes him fail at it, he still tries to behave as polite as possible. One habit that stayed with him was the one to note everything down, showing off his fine calligraphy and his accountant skills. The Joestar kid also knows Latin and Greek, as he was schooled. He even went to Oxford for a short period of time.

✰Johnny has never been fond of dark colours; he has always preferred to dress up in light ones. Luckily, they suit him.

✰Since he was a child, he has proved to be very perceptive of his surroundings, as well as being able to read the mood quite easily. Johnny is also good at focusing, what makes him a really good shooter -probably hunting would have been one of his hobbies, if he wasn’t kind and compassionate-. He has proved to being able to shoot at little and/or moving targets, even if firing from odd angles and perspectives.

✰Johnny loved his mother, and would try to follow her everywhere like a duckling would follow its mother. It wasn't surprising that his first words were "mama". His next word was "horsie", and would enthusiastically say it as he pointed to the horses in the fields when the family decided to take a walk around the farm.

✰In the Victorian era, it was common for toddlers to rarely be in contact with their parents; as they were mostly raised by a nanny. He did have a nanny -whom he loved deeply-, but his mother was still around at all times; she was always there for him. Despite breaking this usual thing, he was indeed raised to be like the stereotypical Victorian child: proper, polite and quiet.

✰The youngest Joestar loved to visit the horses in the family farms, enjoying their company. His fondness for these animals evolved into his skills as a jockey; as he also is well-versed in equine science.

✰Johnny was five when he first rode a horse, and his father quickly considered him a genius. The young boy quickly started to believe this as an irrefutable truth, his ego beginning to grow. Although he indeed is a genius with plenty of skills that allow him to ride across many types of terrain, or even challenge fellow genius jockey -ahem, Diego Brando-; having such a big ego ended up wounding him.

✰Even if George did praise his early horse-riding skills, the rest of Johnny’s childhood was marked by a strained relationship with him. His father was unnecessarily severe, to the point of physically punishing Johnny. He also favored Nicholas immensely, belittling the younger one with constant comparisons. After Nicholas’ death, George was convinced that “God had taken the wrong son” and took out his sadness and rage on Johnny. This cruel behaviour caused Johnny great pain, and an enormous feeling of inferiority.

✰Anne's death was a big shock for the youngest Joestar. He felt like he had lost the only support he had in the family; his mother would comfort him after his father scolds and punishments. She also happened to die a short time before Nick's accident. Johnny was 9 when his brother died; and around 7-8 when Anne died. His father cruel behaviour towards Johnny hurt him, and the little boy was upset because he didn't entirely comprehend why his mom wasn't coming back.

✰The only one who calls him by his full name -Jonathan- is his father, and he despises it. Nowadays, hearing his full name triggers something on him, reacting with some kind of fear. He was used to listen to his father call him only to point out his mistakes and scold him; so hearing “Jonathan” makes him have that kind of reaction.

✰He is a magnificent horse tamer, as seen with Slow Dancer: the horse was introduced as wild and ruthless, but she warmed up to Johnny, to the point of helping him get on her by hoisting him and rolling him down his neck and into the saddle.

✰After his father disowned him and threw him out of the Joestar household, Johnny, in shock, decided to shut himself off. With this, he also created a vain and narcissistic facade in order to hide the sadness this rejection caused him.

✰He tried to take Black Rose -Nicholas’ horse- with him when he was disowned.

✰After he was disowned, when Father’s Day arrived, Johnny used to spend the day in a sour mood, secluded and probably drinking, trying to forget his lame childhood.

✰With his pride harmed, he decided to prepare for the Kentucky Derby, winning it at the age of 16. He made it out of spite, trying to prove his father wrong and growing his own ego; maybe he couldn’t defeat Diego back in the UK, but he won the Derby. He still believes that winning the Derby was his greatest accomplisment.

✰When he was shot and paralyzed, Johnny felt his own pride crushing him: everything he showed off suddeny vanished. Unable to ride again, the horse-riding promise fell into oblivion; he lost all the friends and respect he had earned as a jockey. No one came to visit, leaving him behind; even his own father disappeared from his life, not even visiting him in the hospital. For that, Johnny is used to being abandoned: he forces himself to not get attached to anyone, since he believes that they’ll probably leave him.

✰During his stay in the hospital, the nurses used to dose him with morphine. They did it in order to shut him up –the poor boy was in terrible pain-, but for that, he got addicted to morphine. Luckily, it was only for a short time, since he managed to get clean several months after leaving the hospital.

✰Due to having such a big ego, now his past glory crushes him. He hates how he lost everything in such a pathetic way; but also believes he deserves it.

✰Surprisingly, his arms and chest are really strong; because he is always using them to crawl around and to lift himself.

✰Due to his light complex and weight, he is terribly ticklish.

✰He is a Christian, and believes in Fate and karma, but in a kind of wretched way. Johnny believes that, throughout the years, Fate itself was taking revenge on him for his misdeeds; and that he deserved every misfortune he received. His obsession with the Corpse showed his obsession with karma too, and how he wanted to reset it to a neutral state, paying off his negative debt. His beliefs in Fate explains his lack of confidence and constant panic of losing everything, since he firmly believes that Fate could at any moment take away his hopes.

✰Johnny has depression and, for this, a lack of confidence. He considers himself a useless person, a burden, and unworthy of love. This gloomy perspective of life came from his youth, making him a pessimistic man.

✰TW//suicide. He has considered -and tried- to commit suicide; but he couldn’t. He claims that it’s because he’s a “coward that hates pain, and doesn’t have the balls to finish everything”; but, deep down, it’s because he holds on to even the smallest hope.

✰TW//self harm. He has several scars: the ones on his arms are smaller, and were self-inflicted -self-harm and suicide attempts-. He also has some scars on his legs, caused by wounds he got by trying to stand up, walk and ride; but the biggest scar is the one covering half his back, as a memento from the accident. The bullet left a mark, surgery made it ugly, and the abuse he endured during his stay in the hospital made it worse. Therefore, he now is ashamed and self-concious of his back.

✰Seeing his legs makes him feel weak, and he hates that. He also despises feeling as defenceless as when someone picks him up to carry him without his consent. He truly hates feeling powerless, and it also makes him incredibly angry -and lowkey sad-. He can only tolerate this if it’s someone who he deeply trusts and knows, and only if he has asked for it.

✰At first, he wouldn’t let anyone touch neither his legs nor his back; but after warming up a little, he would tolerate caresses and gentle pats.

✰He also hates when people look at him with sorrow or as if they were pitying him. He may be disabled, but he’s still perfectly capable of plenty of things. Usually, he will reject any kind of help as politely as possible, but his anger will show.

✰Meeting Gyro made him throw away his harsh facade. At first, he was uncaring of everyone else save himself, only maintaining a polite but cold demeanour towards people he met; but Gyro’s influence made Johnny slightly more friendly.

✰ Gyro also made a great impact in Johnny’s perspective of life; not all of a sudden, but in gradual steps. The Italian man gave him hope, helped him to knock out his lack of confidence, gave him some assurance and optimism and also was genuinely nice to him, making Johnny grateful for meeting him. He treasures their relationship deeply.

✰Johnny doesn’t belittles Slow Dancer for being old, as he knows that she has plenty of experience as a Racing horse, and plenty of stamina. He truly knows his mare, possessing great knowledge of her: he knows and perceives her abilities and limits, and is able to predict what Slow Dancer will be capable of. They have grown quite close to each other, and she ocasionally nudges and licks him gently. Johnny loves this.

✰Sometimes, to kill some time, he and Gyro will exchange curses and slang in their respective languages. Gyro finds American sayings strange.

✰Gyro and Johnny had a hard time understanding each other in the beginning of their relationship: the older man had a thick Italian accent, and Johnny had to decipher what the hell was he trying to say. After a while, they grew used to each other's accents, but Gyro still made fun of Johnny's.

✰ His determination doesn’t waver, despite having failed several times. Johnny focuses on his goals, and puts them above anything else. He is also willing to endure severe wounds in order to reach them. And if you also add his stuborness…

✰The man is REALLY stubborn. If he wants to get something, he WILL, no matter what. If he has to, he will be violent or kill his opponents. This is called as “dark determination flickering in his eyes”, indicating a ruthlessness which would make Johnny able to kill in cold-blood. For this, he may seem amoral and selfish, even extending this to the interest of his loved ones. Yet he isn’t truly amoral, protecting defenceless people and taking damage to protect the ones he cares about.

✰He’s rather impulsive and hot-headed, which makes him take action as soon as possible. Sometimes, he might end up regretting not thinking BEFORE acting.

✰ Johnny would do anything for his loved ones:

Even if he’s afraid of his father, he has always tried his hardest to live up to his expectations.

He loved Nicholas deeply and looked up to him as an idol, and blames himself for his death. After he died, he became guilt-ridden, believing that his brother’s death was his own fault and that he should have died instead.

He was willing to abandon the Corpse Parts he had to save Gyro.

(JOJOLION SPOILERS!) When Rina was struck with the Rock Disease, Johnny stole the Corpse to make it transfer the disease away from her, not caring who would receive it and suffer in her place. But when the disease transfered to his son, he healed him by transfering it to himself, dying in order to save his wife and son.

✰He’s the CEO of being done with everyone’s bullshit. He’s angry 85% of the time, and usually cries out of anger.

✰ He’s also a sarcastic little shit. Any stupid questions you make him will be answered with his fine sarcasm.

✰He’s HORNY! This is shown with his bug bite fetish and the fact that he has been involved in at least one threesome. He doesn’t mind empty sex either -as he slept with several girls who came to him only for his fame-. He’s also bisexual.

✰When it comes to affection, he prefers to show his emotions through actions. For him, they speak louder.

✰Regarding to affection, Johnny will deny it; but he is touch-starved. The man really loves hugs and physical contact. He likes to hold on tight and get as close as posible. Since he doesn’t usually speak out loud his emotions, he will show them physically. However, he would rather be held, feeling loved and protected.

✰He feels guilty when someone falls in love with him, since he believes he’s not worthy of happiness nor love. He tends to think that he’s making them waste their time on him, when they could be with someone who could provide them with what they deserve. He can’t help but compare himself to others, belittling himself.

✰When he has a crush, he will do anything to deny it. He doesn’t want to admit how someone began to be so important to him, and is afraid that “Fate” might take them away from him. If he has to avoid them, he will; just to get away and not face his feelings.

✰George does reconcile with Johnny, and feels ashamed of how he treated his own son. He claims to be proud of him now, and even gives Johnny Nicholas’ boots. At first Johnny was resentful and wasn’t planning on forgiving him, since he believed that his father was only coming back for his recovered fame. After a couple weeks he decided against that, forgiving George and honouring him by naming his only son after him.

✰Nicholas’ boots were one of his most beloved possessions, and were passed down as a family relic.

✰If Rina had allowed him to name their daughter, he would have called her Anne, in honour to his mother.

✰In Japan, the Joestar-Higashikata family lived in a farm. Although the place is designed in the Japanese traditional way, Johnny couldn't help but give it some Western touches, specifically to the barns. These ones were designed to be as similar as the ones his father had in Britain and Danville. It made Johnny nostalgic, but in a gentle and warm way; he purposefully made them like that, so he could remember his roots.

✰They were quite wealthy: not only for the Higashikata's fruit business, but also for Johnny's connection with the Japanese government.

✰As a horse-riding teacher, his pupils loved and respected him deeply. Johnny liked discipline -as he took his profession seriously-, but was also very kind to them, treating them with the respect he never received.

✰Obviously, he taught his children to ride as early as possible.

[tiliamericana]

Muay Thai: 1.15

At around two-thirty in the morning, Nairi’s phone rang. The caller ID said it was Linden and Nairi stared at it blankly, trying to think of a non-bad reason to be getting a call this late before answering.

“Linden?”

“Nairi!” said Linden, sounding relieved. “Oh thank god, you’re awake—I mean, that’s why I called you, you’re like the only person I know who wouldbe—”

“Linden, is everything okay?” said Nairi, toying with the cuff of her shirt. There was something in her voice that was setting off an urge in Nairi’s bones to go back upstairs and get her shoes.

“Uh, no,” said Linden, and an edge of panic broke through her tone. “It’s Simon, I think he’s uh, taken something? Like, I mean, too much of something.”

Nairi shut her eyes and counted to five. “Taken too much as in you think he’s overdosed?”

“Yeah, I mean, he’s out cold, I don’t know—”

“What did he take?” said Nairi, chewing on the inside of her cheek and staring at the wilting greens in the vase in front of her.

“I don’t know!” said Linden, her pitch shifting upwards and breath hitching. “He just, you know, went to the bathroom before bed only he was taking a really long time so I went to check on him and I know he injected something ‘cause he nicked some of the needles from my cabinet—”

“Have you called an ambulance?” asked Nairi, climbing to her feet and skipping the stepladder, dropping to the mats on the floor before making a beeline for the stairs to her apartment.

“No, he’s only a student, neither of us can afford that—”

“Hang up on me and call an ambulance,” said Nairi, locking the door behind her and casting about for where she’d left her shoes. “Text me when you know which hospital and I’ll meet you there, okay?”

Dial tone sounded in her ears, and Nairi found her shoes.

*

The good thing about Nicholas being close to seven feet tall was that he was an easy to find landmark in any given room.

Nairi had spent the entire drive over bracing herself for walking into the hospital; for the bright lights, and the noise, and the smell, the bustle, but the waiting room was mostly fine. She supposed that she’d never really spent much time in waiting rooms, and when she had she’d usually been unconscious, or too out of it to take anything in, so really, this was entirely different.

It helped that no one in scrubs was looking at her.

Nicholas was talking in a low voice at Linden, who was wrapped in a thick-knit cardigan and perched on the edge of her seat, ignoring him in favour of staring at the bay doors leading into the treatment section of the emergency department. She tensed every time they opened and the loud buzzer above them sounded as a result, sagging again as people went in and out without looking their way. Her leg was bouncing and her eyes were red-rimmed, Nairi realised as she approached, her mouth set in a way that indicated she wasn’t paying much attention to any of her other surroundings. And Nicholas was apparently trying to change that. “—Linden? Linden, are you listening?”

“Hey,” said Nairi as she drew to a halt in front of them, getting both of their attention at once. “Any news?”

Linden’s gaze snapped up to her immediately and her face collapsed into an expression of relief even as she shook her head. “No,” she said, climbing to her feet and stepping into Nairi, resting her forehead on Nairi’s shoulder. “Thanks for coming.”

Nairi awkwardly hugged her, patting the back of her head.

“They found a substance on him which they believe is what he took,” said Nicholas in the same, quiet tone. “They think it may be some kind of stimulant, but that’s all the information we were able to get before they took him in and neither of us are in a position to ask for his medical details.”

From the way he spoke Nairi got the distinct impression that this wasn’t his first rodeo. He was wearing what looked like pyjamas under his jacket, but he’d taken the time to change into jeans and find appropriate footwear. He had the overall look of someone who’d rolled out of bed and gotten ready on the way to the car, but he was calm and measured in spite of the situation.

Linden sniffled into Nairi’s shoulder then abruptly pulled away, arms wrapped around herself as she chewed on her lip, gaze returning back to the treatment bay doors. The lines around her eyes were back with a vengeance, and she stayed standing, her fingers tapping on the opposite elbow. “Fuck, I just—what am I even supposed to do here?” she said, tone miserable.

She was probably being rhetorical, but Nairi answered her anyway. “This,” she said, shrugging. “You called for help, and you got him medical attention, that’s pretty much exactly what you’re supposed to do.”

Nicholas reached out and rubbed Linden’s back gently, giving Nairi an appraising look. “You did the right thing. And in the future, if you do decide to stay with him, then there are other ways you can help him as well. There are a lot of resources out there for supporting partners through addictions.”

He looked rather desperately like he was hoping she wouldn’t do so, even as he said it. Nairi tried not to linger on that thought, or if it was something he might change his mind on. He already didn’t like her though, there was no point in worrying about it. “It’s hard work,” she said eventually. “Do you know if he’s thinking about stopping?”

Linden teased her tongue between her teeth and her lips, her eyes sliding towards Nicholas, though she snapped them back to Nairi’s face before he could notice. “We haven’t really talked about that,” she said, fidgeting with the wool of her cardigan, too stressed out and tense to lie very well.

“It’s a difficult conversation,” said Nicholas, his tone careful and reassuring. “I’m here if you need help figuring out how to have it, and if you know any of his friends who are aware or—”

“Linden Alix?” said a harried looking tech in scrubs, interrupting them.

“Yeah,” said Linden, turning on the spot, all her attention on him as she straightened. “Has Simon woken up? Is he okay?”

“He’d like to talk to you,” said the tech, nodding at her. “Can you come with me?”

Linden was already nodding, and she followed him across the room, through the bay doors, around a corner, and out of sight.

It took Nairi about fifteen seconds to realise that this left her alone with Nicholas, and from the looks of things, he noticed about the same time she did. He was watching her, with a certain alertness to his eyes, that same degree of ‘used to this shit’ she’d noticed about him earlier. “Found it rough to get up at this hour?” he asked her wryly.

Nairi paused, then abruptly realised that she’d been pinching the inside of her elbow every time the buzzer over the door sounded. She forced her hand away from her arm, trying to make the movement casual, and shook her head, taking the seat next to him. “I hadn’t made it to bed yet, kind of a night owl. You?”

“Dead to the world until my phone rang,” said Nicholas, nodding as she sat. “It’s been a while since my last three o’clock wake up—I got more of them when Linden was a teenager. Though thankfully not quite so many for emergency room visits.”

“Mhmm.” Nairi’s gaze kept dragging back to the doors where Linden had disappeared. “I’m not really used to waiting rooms.”

“More familiar with the other side of things?” asked Nicholas, his tone carefully neutral.

There were a thousand ways she could respond to that. She glanced back at him but couldn’t read anything in his expression. “Yeah,” she said eventually, leaning back in her seat and trying to get comfortable.

That…worked. Nicholas watched her for a moment but didn’t push the issue. “Would you like some water?” he asked, climbing to his feet.

“Yeah, please,” said Nairi, blinking up at him, and he nodded, crossing the room and giving her a moment to herself.

When he sat down again Nairi realised that even with the cramped, hard plastic chairs he was doing his best to maintain her personal space. The plastic cup was cool in her fingers, an anchor point she hadn’t quite realised she needed, and she murmured a thanks.

“How goes the teaching?” asked Nicholas, and Nairi let the cup dangle loosely in her fingers as she talked to him about the lessons she’d taught that week.

She wasn’t sure if he could tell how uncomfortable she was and was trying to ground her in the mundane small talk of daily life, or if he was simply trying to keep both of them awake. She supposed there was no reason it couldn’t be both. There was a kind of static ebb and flow to a waiting room at four in the morning, and she wasn’t entirely certain she’d have processed much without him engaging her.

The general noise of the room was grating, but Nairi did her best to put that out of her mind, paying the barest attention to the volume of the people talking and flat out ignoring the buzzer over the bay doors. Nicholas noticed when Linden’s voice spoke up first; although, given the brightness, he might actually have noticed her hair.

Either way he stood first, Nairi not far behind him as they crossed to the desk she was standing at. Simon was leaning against the counter as Linden hovered by him looking anxious. He seemed extremely lopsided as they approached, signing the forms for his own release.

Judging by the highly sceptical expressions on the nurse and administrator behind the counter even as they explained to Linden that they couldn’t make him stay in their care, Nairi wasn’t the only one to notice this.

“For Chrissakes Lindy, it’s not like I can afford this anyway,” he was saying.

Linden’s arms were crossed again, hands clenched tight, her expression mulish. “Jesus fuck, Si, what was I supposed to do? Notpanic? You were passed out—”

“That happens sometimes, honestly, I was fine,” said Simon, digging in his wallet and passing several cards through the plexiglass to the administrator on the other side. Her face was carefully neutral, though the nurse’s eyebrows flew all the way to her hairline. “We didn’t need to have all this fuss, dragging people out of bed.”

“We’re just glad to see you’re okay,” said Nicholas, standing a little closer to Linden.

Simon glanced up at them and flashed a wide, false smile, forcing good cheer through gritted teeth. “All correct and accounted for. Sorry to waste your time.”

He took his cards back with a copy of the papers from the counter and the nurse’s cheeks puffed slightly before she stepped away. Simon leaned in and kissed Linden’s cheek, clapping her on the back roughly. “Look, I’m sorry I worried you honey,” he said, stepping back. “We can figure out the money later, okay? I’m gonna go home and get some sleep.”

He walked away from them with a wave, not looking back as he made for the exit. Linden moved to go after him automatically, but Nicholas caught her shoulder with a gentle touch and she stopped, looking up at him. “It might be easier to talk to him after you’ve both rested,” he said, not quite able to hide the disapproval.

Linden slumped, rubbing at her face with both hands. “Yeah. Christ, I’m sorry guys.”

“It’s okay,” said Nairi.

“You did the right thing,” said Nicholas firmly. Then, after a moment: “Please do not take responsibility for his medical bills.”

Nairi swallowed the uncharitable snort swelling in the back of her throat and stepped forward as Linden straightened. “Do you want a ride back?”

Linden nodded, rubbing at her face again. “Yeah, please,” she said, glancing between the two of them. “I’m sorry for making you both come out.”

“It’s okay,” said Nicholas, hugging her around the shoulders. “Get some rest.”

Linden nodded. “I will. Night, Nick.”

“Goodnight,” said Nicholas to the both of them.

In the parking lot as Nairi unlocked her car she hesitated, then carefully hugged Linden herself. Linden leant into it eagerly, pressing her face into Nairi’s neck and clinging tight. “Do you want to stay at mine tonight?” asked Nairi quietly.

Linden took a few breaths before she answered, her voice small. “Yeah. Please.”

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep9 Thoughts

It’s been awhile since I’ve watched Riverdale, I’m getting bored with them going back to Varchie out of literal nowhere and I’m assuming BH will soon follow because they don’t know how to write anything else even though that’s all the show needs to be good. Look how great the show was when they were finally starting to give us Barchie…. anyways thoughts under the cut so this post doesn’t clog up the tag. Also: MANIFESTING JERONICA AND BARCHIE BYE

- Honestly a lot of people are weirded out/annoyed by the alien plot but I love aliens so I’m lowkey okay with it.

- Alice this is Riverdale you really think some bad coincidence couldn’t have happened right after Polly left the phone booth?

- Veronica stop using money for no reason PLEASE. And god more VA scenes I’m so tired of it… though somehow it fits better than them being together as teens. But we’re not forgetting how he cheated on her with Betty, still loves Betty, and is mostly just going back to Veronica because it’s “comfortable”

- TABITHA AND VERONICA SCENE!! They look so good standing near one another ugh

- … if I heard the football coach say that over the intercom I’d literally think he’s a whiny piece of shit and never go to the games in spite. What the fuck was that???

- Jughead acting like he probably wouldn’t have written a story like that kid when he was in school lol okay...

- Reggie pointing at each bulldog and calling them a loser on his way out…. what the actual fuck asdfgjkl;

- Give Veronica literally anything than plots surrounding Archie and Hiram we’re so fucking TIRED

- Veronica needs Archie to talk to Reggie about this boring football bs but will make a wager with her dad that will go against everything Archie would like… please nothing about them as a couple has changed!!! IT’S SO BAD AND BORING!!!! WE DON’T WANT THEM!!!

- We really could have had teachers!Barchie and Jeronica but noooo they’d rather cater to toxic bh and va who don’t deserve to have their boring ships that ruin their characters. Why did Riverdale get stuck with the people who can’t write to save their lives?

- Cheryl and Betty finally having an actually good conversation wow-

- VA once again in bed sigh. The only thing getting me through is that Archie seems much happier with Betty muah

- Veronica stop being cute I’m trying to hate you and Archie getting back together out of nowhere

- Betty please for once in your life stop lying… I know you’re trying to protect her but if Polly really is dead it’s gonna hurt even worse now that you gave her hope

- LERMAN LOGAN AAFJDSHKHFJDFASHJKN THAT’S HIS FUCKING NAME? BRUH-

- “The story could have alluded to stuff happening at home.” “Then you should have come to us!” yes because parents who were abusing their child totally wouldn’t say anything to throw off the teacher who’s just trying to make sure their student is okay…….. why would he go to the parents first?

- #Kangs Cheryl shh we already don’t like them together please stop… anyways Swangs and Keggie when???

- Fangs really dated Kevin for 7 years, weirded out with his bf going into the woods to hook up with strangers and only now is talking about it… and they thought they’d be able to marry and have a baby together??? damn anyways SWANGS AND KEGGIE WHEN????

- But also Fangs is so right that’s why Kevin’s angry

- Adult friends BH is literally so much better than teenage co dependent toxic wannabe detectives but also if this makes them get together, also out of nowhere, I will rip out my hair

- what kind of nick name is T-Dub………… but anyways this scene was so cute

- See adult BH and VA could have been so good if they kept romance out of it since they already milked the shit out of it for four seasons (at least three too long), because them as adults, as FRIENDS feels so good to watch.

- HIRAM BENCHES REGGIE BC HE DOESN’T WANT TO LITERALLY BREAK A CHILD’S LEGS?!?!??!? This is how we get Reggie back to the “good side” and not Beggie sighhhhhhh imagine if we had good writers

- Betty’s like “…… the mothmen……. god I literally grew up to be a real detective what is this bullshit?"

- Also instead of mothmen why not just make it all about aliens by themselves

- This proves that BH is STILL not compatible after five seasons muah I guess I can deal with boring VA as long as the worst of the worst, BH, is gonna stay dead. At least VA is hot

- That edited picture of Betty and Polly I— afsdfhfasf

- Polly deserved so much better… anyways go read my Sweet Pea x Polly drabble!!! based after the time jump :)

- Kevin please if you’re gonna painfully flirt please learn a few actually good pick up lines

- Ummmm okay first of all why did that guy not say anything about Kevin calling him hot if he was straight and not into him hitting on him? Second of all, why does Kevin always get these awful plots, and lastly, what the fuck anyways can’t wait for Fangs to find out and sick the serpents on that Shane guy bc while him and Kevin aren’t together anymore, he definitely still cares about him

- Betty once again resorting to assault……. okay…… what a gross misuse of power

- Kevin feeling ashamed of him being gay because his mom once talked about him wearing husky clothes…? God everyone on this show deserves much better plots what the fuck

- Can’t wait for Betty to be suspended for this bullshit

- I don’t think the Logan’s would like Jughead of all people helping find their son but okay

- Betty is so unstable please how did she become a detective… ahhh right the writers eat from her ass lmao

- Love that Reggie gets no shit for just suddenly switching sides

- also sigh pairing up bh and va for the millionth time. It’s interesting that everyone enjoys the show much better when literally anyone else interact

- more singing…………Cheryl you’re not in high school anymore BUT it is lowkey a bop somehow though

- I know the answer is no but V never told Archie of her dumbass wager huh

- 0 to 52………………. so how is Hiram not gonna win this. We find out he cheated in some way and is disqualified or something?

- VERONICA, REGGIE, AND TABITHA HUGGING AHHH NEW OT3 FUCKKK

- Why is Hiram so mad his team has 52 points I—

- That kiss was so boring please give us Barchie and Jeronica and stop having V go back too Archie

- THEY LEFT RIVERDALE THAT QUICKLY? damn okay

- Betty feeling bad just because her mom found out she lied… like okay I know we’re supposed to want Betty on the case but she really shouldn’t be. She’s such an awful detective. She had potential in the beginning but :/

- anyways thank fucking god it’s over that felt like a million years long of boring bullshit where is Barchie and Beggie and Jeronica and Keggie and Karchie and Swangs ugh make Riverdale interesting again PLEASE I’ve never stopped watching like this, ever…

[thtdamfangirl4]

1.) Who eats all the snacks?

kind of all of them but something inside me is saying it’s octavius? @harps-for-days can you confirm or deny?

2.) Most likely to break something?

obviously Reginald

3.) Most likely to steal something?

Octavius

4.) Most likable character to others?

ooooh. that’s tough. I think (no offense) it’s definitely not Reginald or Dorian. Reginald is insane and Dorian can be scary. I think people kind of wish they were Octavius but he can also be a lil intimidating and jealousy plays a part so some petty bitches probably hate him. I think Jasper can be kind of quiet and standoffish at first so he doesn’t always leave a lasting impression until you have a full conversation with him, which is when people realize he’s great. I think people generally like Archie but he can be like A LOT, so I wouldn’t say him, but he is definitely well-liked, and unless you’re a PTA bitch named Jessica, he is desperate for you to like him. But for most likeable, I’s say it is probably down to Eustace or Nathaniel. Eustace is kind and lovely and a little snarky when you get to know him and Nathaniel is so sweet and sarcastic and funny but terribly genuine at the same time and let’s be perfectly honest: he’s a himbo. I’d give the edge to Nathaniel, but it’s possible that I’m biased.

5.) Least likable character to others?

my first instinct here was reginald but like... I don’t think so. I think though Reginald is strange as fuck, we’ve discussed that people eat that shit up. Reginald is like human Gritty. I want to guess that it would be Dorian because he just does not give a fuck what anyone thinks. And I know the people on the HOA hate him, so. And that’s not to say people don’t love Dorian, he’s the best and I love him and so do lots. But I feel like he causes the most beef. My only other thought is the way basic blonde bitches who were bullies in high school probably hate Octavius (but secretly want to be his best friend) because he wears heels and skirt better than they do. Stay mad about it.

6.) Most talkative character?

Archibald. Quincy. Pemberton.

7.). Least talkative character?

dude they’re based on us and literally none of us ever shut up. Maybe Dorian? Eustace?

8.) Most likely to set something on fire?

how is this even a question. Rabbit Boi himself, Reginald Worthington.

9.) Who would/does own the most pets?

I think it’s Nate and Archie? They have four dogs at one point. Though I would not be surprised to find out that Reginald has an entire condominium simply filled with exotic birds that squawk furiously at him every time he shows up. 

10.) Most manipulative character?

oh god. Dorian? He technically manipulated everything and made the bois show up in 2020 to get out of marrying someone, and he’s the kind of guy who will do whatever it takes to get what he wants (read: he will do whatever it takes for Octavius or any of the bois or to spite bigots and the patriarchy) and we RESPECT it

11.) Most artistically talented?

i mean, archie can decorate baked goods and cakes so beautifully, but I’m gonna give this one to the obvious choice: Octavius Sinclair

12.) Which characters hate rain, and which love it?

I actually think all of them like rain? They’re largely (sometimes) depressed gays or otherwise very immature so like? For example, Reginald loves the rain because it’s sort of chaotic and also he likes to splash in puddles. Jasper likes the excuse to stay inside all day and work on writing or something. Eustace likes to pretend he’s in a sad music video while watching the droplets go down the window. Octavius likes to force Dorian to reenact the first proposal scene from Pride and Prejudice. Dorian likes to light candles and he loves thunderstorms (so does Octavius btw). Archie likes to drag Nate outside for kisses in the rain while playing Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift, and then bake all day. Nathaniel likes being dragged out for kisses in the rain and he loves drinking coffee and then switching to tea in the rain and reading on a window bench. They are all rain bitches, sorry not sorry.

13.) Which character is the hoarder?

Reginald is definitely the worst about this, but I also think Octavius cannot go to an antique store or estate sale without buying at least four things, and Dorian does the same thing with any sort of vintage weaponry or armor, so their household isn’t great about it either.

14.) Sweetest couple?

Natchie. No this isn’t bias, it’s just a fact okay? They are the sweetest!!!!

15.) Who loves reading the most?

Nathaniel. fuckin nerd.

16.) Who has the worst sweet tooth?

Archie. I mean, the man is a baker and he’s also me. So.

17.) Best and worst kissers?

LMAOOOOO okay.... so here’s the thing. I think kissing and level of skill comes into play to a certain degree, but past a basic level of acceptability, it’s mostly about compatibility? but I’ll give this a go in terms of what I think would be pure skill

from worst to best: Jasper, Reginald, Eustace, Octavius, Nathaniel, Archie, Dorian (once you get to Octavius, you’re at a fairly elite level of kisser though so the differences are marginal. but Dorian and Archie are the biggest hoes so they know what the fuck they are doing)

18.) Best and worst cooks?

from worst to best: Dorian, Reginald, Jasper, Nathaniel, Eustace, Octavius, Archie

19.) Who is afraid of the dark?

Jasper

20.) Most likely to fall asleep on their job?

I honestly only remember what Nathaniel, Archie, and Eustace’s jobs are for sure? and it’s none of them. But Reginald. MAYBE Jasper.

21.) Most commonly found drunk?

Octavius and Archie (often together)

22.) Strongest/most powerful character?

well, Dorian’s got some witchy stuff goin on which I love, but if we’re talking physical strength I like to think that Nathaniel is secretly jacked like Chidi on the Good Place lmao

23.) Most likely to be found in a coffee shop?

Nathaniel. This bitch drinks so much coffee, I swear. Plus he likes to grade papers there sometimes.

24.) Most clumsy character?

Jasper

25.) Most trustworthy character?

again, this is hard. I think it’s either Eustace or Archie. I think they’re all very trustworthy on like a friend level, but if you break it down to its base and you think about the most trustworthy in every situation, i’m thinking, who can you tell a secret to? Reginald might forget what you told him, which is a plus, but he also might tell any Doug who asks your juiciest gossip. Dorian and Octavius are not above blackmail and they LOVE gossip. Jasper is such a bad secret keeper, you immediately know he’s hiding something. It’s like Nick Miller on New Girl. Don’t do it. Nathaniel will try but his brain is always spinning at like 100 miles an hour so there’s a good chance he’ll tell people even if he didn’t really mean to. And then it comes down to Eustace and Archie, and I think I’m gonna give the edge to Archie. Cause Eustace won’t tell anyone your secret EXCEPT that  he will tell Tyler because he tells Tyler everything, and if it’s a good secret, Tyler can’t help himself, he’s such a gossip. But Archie knows that sometimes, he does not need to pass on the secret that was entrusted to him to Nathaniel, because this is the kind of secret that would probably hurt someone if Nathaniel accidentally told someone. He tells Nathaniel everything he needs to know, and if he doesn’t need to know and it’s not really their business, he knows to keep it to himself. So... Archie.

[teacherunicorn]

Rewrite

Chapter Six

dying

The snowy forest was dense, but felt empty, like walking through a graveyard. You could tell something was waiting to jump out and attack you. hurt trying to survive

Rook had had Shadow in her life for just over six years now. Appearing at what was perhaps her lowest low, the entity had been harsh with her at first, it's words faint and migraine inducing.

The one thing that had come through clearly was the lullaby it sang when Rook was crying herself to sleep. The song was clearly old -- it wasn't your standard nursery rhyme and no one she'd mentioned the lyrics to had known what she was talking about. But her strange follower knew them by heart; never once missing a step or loosing the melody.

Perhaps it was her dependence on that song that allowed other things to come in clearly, not that they were as helpful. It was mostly gruesome threats to people she got angry at and a desire to take supplies from others at food banks and homeless shelters.

While tempting at times, such actions were simply not who Rook was. She continually frustrated Shadow with her goodwill and giving nature, and arguing with them led to further migraines.

The two weren't....friends, not really. They just happened to be stuck with each other -- literally. It didn't matter if Rook knew she could trust Shadow's instincts when it came to dangerous situations, or if Shadow's malice seemed to ebb away anytime they sang their lullaby to a crying Rook.

It wasn't until that good karma came back around; a woman she had shared her food with and given up her bunk at the homeless shelter for supplying her with pain medicine and teaching her how pads worked; as she had been unfortunate enough to experience puberty on her own, that Shadow finally gave pause.

"Sometimes kindness is enough." She'd told the spirit.

This gave way to a new form of communication between the two; an open one that involved proper conversation instead of trading insults. Shadow seemed very good at being aware of their -- and by extension Rook's -- surroundings at all times. They'd offer tips, warn of danger, and catch details that would normally go unnoticed.

Rook still wouldn't say the two were friends....part of her was still convinced that Shadow was just some trauma induced hallucination.

Until today at least.

"So lemme see if I've got this right." She said, piling up the driest twigs she could find for a fire. "You're an actual, proper ghost. You're dead."

More or less, yeah.

"Then how come you keep following me around?"

I'm stuck in limbo unless I find a soul to match to....a cracked one.

Rook paused. "So when...." a forced swallow past the lump in her throat. "when he died, you're saying it cracked my soul?"

Yeah.

She huffed. "Can't say I'm surprised. Okay, you're here, I'm here, now what?"

Well.... The spirit sighed. You already know by now that I'm not an optimistic person. But when I was alive I was....less pessimistic. I had hope for something; this place.

"This place?" Rook echoed in surprise.

Yeah. It was less broken in my time, but yeah.

"....What happened?"

Thought I could be the hero. The barrier keeps the monsters in, they're trapped. I thought I could be their angel. the air seemed to scoff Course that was before being down here got me killed.

"What does that have to do with me?"

Shadow had no physical form, and therefore no face, but somehow Rook could still feel the puppy dog stare being aimed at her.

How far do you think your kindness can really go?

*****

Rook didn't bother trying to track down the skeleton brothers. Snowdin was clearly not the sort of place to just go wandering around, and she had no doubt one or both of them would eventually find her.

So, gathering the driest twigs she could find, she sparked a small fire and went about making herself something to eat.

Filling her collapsible pot with snow, she set it over the flame to boil, making sure to keep the smoke as small as possible so as not to alert anything unsavory.

Crossing her legs as she sat down, she held her hands out to warm them. Pausing a moment, she pulled her left one back.

The cut she had received from the strange glowing artifact in the ruins hadn't been deep by any means, but it really ought to have left at least a scratch. But looking at her palm now Rook couldn't even tell she'd been injured.

Sighing to herself, she dug into her backpack for some oatmeal, taking out the teal colored shard as she did. She studied it as her food cooked. It didn't seem all that peculiar; it wasn't even glowing any more. It was just a stupid shard of glass.

So why had she felt so drawn to it in the ruins?

"HUMAN!" the sudden sound jolted Rook from her thoughts. She looked up to see the taller of the skeleton brothers standing a few paces away from her. (measured in his giant steps anyways) "SO SANS WAS TELLING THE TRUTH. DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD ESCAPE ME?"

"No, I was pretty sure you or your brother would turn up." She shrugged. "You hungry? Oatmeal should be ready by now."

The bravado of the skeleton seemed to seep away. "....Food?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's just oatmeal -- I've figured out a lot of ways to mix it up over the years though!" pulling her backpack onto her lap Rook began to dig through her stash. "I've got cinnamon, ketchup, honey...."

For as loud as he had once been, the tall skeleton's voice seemed quiet now, despite it being a normal speaking volume as he inched closer to her. "There Was A Time When I Enjoyed Oatmeal That Hatched Creatures In It."

Rook blinked and stared at him a moment before looking back to her bag. Pushing a few things this way and that, she produced a small box with a cartoon dinosaur on it.

"These?" She questioned, holding them out to him.

Perhaps she imagined it, but at that moment Rook could've sworn that the small pecks of light in his sunken eye sockets turned into miniature stars. He crossed the space between them in three large strides, but stopped short of taking the box from her hand.

He looked between her and the box a moment, prompting Rook to push it closer to his outstretched hand.

"Go ahead, it's all yours."

He finally took it from her like she was handing him the holy grail. "...Why?"

"Why not?" Rook shrugged and went back to her own oatmeal. "If people didn't share with me, I wouldn't be alive." She looked up at the tall skeleton. "My name's Rook, by the way. You're Papyrus right?"

The sound of his name seemed to snap him out of whatever daze he was in. "YES! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! I HAVE DEVISED SEVERAL PUZZLES AND TRAPS TO CAPTURE YOU HUMAN ROOK!"

Rook smiled at him. "I like puzzles, that sounds fun."

*****

There was something laughably insane about watching the two skeleton brothers interact. They explained the puzzle well enough, but then got sidetracked as they started arguing about frisbees.

In a strange way, it comforted Rook to observe the classic siblings dynamic.

Looking away from the still arguing pair, she turned her eyes to the orb she'd been given. It looked like a regular nick-nack, but supposedly it would guide her through the skeleton brother's first puzzle.

Watch yourself. Shadow muttered in her ear. I don't like this.

For the record, neither did she. The expanse of snow between her and the monsters looked far too innocent and unassuming.

Hang on. Was that...?

Something Rook had taken notice of in this strange underground forest was that the snow didn't shine. Not that there was any sunlight to reflect off of the frozen crystals, but whatever was lighting this place didn't do it either. The slush was matte and blank, like dust rather than water.

But was there? There was! Just about two feet in front of her something was sparkling under the snow. Only noticable if you had been looking for it, and clearly not meant to be there.

The sparkling looked odd, and not just because it was out of place. She wondered....

SNAP!

Rook gasped and jumped backwards, falling flat on her butt as her feet slipped from under her. Tossing the orb in the sparkle's direction had indeed yield result; a huge bear trap had popped out from the snow and clamped shut. It's razor teeth were rusty, but certainly effective enough to chop her in half.

The noise had caught the skeleton's attention, both turning to stare at her in shock.

"WOWIE!" Papyrus finally broke the silence. "SHE SOLVED THAT PUZZLE ON THE FIRST TRY! FINALLY, A HUMAN WORTHY OF BEONF MY PRISONER!"

"Wait...how did she know...."

"GASP!" the taller skeleton said, putting his gloved hands on his cheeks. Cheekbones? "ONLY FOUR PUZZLES LEFT! AND STILL WITH THREE FREEBIES! HURRY SANS! WE MUST PREPARE THR NEXT CHALLENGE!" Papyrus took off, dragging his brother behind him by the hood of his jacket.

Rook laughed in spite of everything. Take away the fear for her life, and that was kinda cool.

How did you do that?

"By getting extremely lucky." Rook muttered, rubbing at her neck subconsciously. Kindness or no, Papyrus hadn't seen it to make his 'puzzles' any less deadly.

Not that she blamed him, logically. One act of kindness certainly didn't make up for whatever these two had been through. Statistics didn't follow an outlier after all.

Sha had been like that once, but it hadn't stopped the people she met from being kind to her.

Least she could do was pay it forward while she tried to stay alive.

[monkey-network]

My Issues with Butch Hartman

Call this the sequel to my post on Mr. Enter. But honestly compared to Enter, Butch Hartman has made himself look far worse in so little time. Not only with how he uses his influence, but he basically showed his true colors not long after he left Nickelodeon. With Enter, the worst you can say about him is his opinions on media and his politics. With Hartman, there is a surprisingly lot more under his belt that made the hate towards him .

To preface this, while I’m gonna shit on this dude, I’m not shaming anyone who still likes his past content. With that said, bibbity Boppity boopity. Let’s look at the fucking scoopity.

The Telltale Oaxis

This really takes the cake as the scummiest thing Butch has done. Words and opinions can be one thing, but using your platform to basically trick some people out of their money for a project you abandoned for the most part grinds me gears a lot more. As bad as his marketing strategy was, at least Enter provided effort in his indiegogo project beforehand for god’s sake. Oaxis is one of the most pitiable crowdfunded projects I’ve seen.

It’s nearly two years since Butch got Oaxis funded and what have gotten beyond pure dead silence. Nearly two years and little to no significant updates for Oaxis’s Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, his Youtube, or the site’s official account. No wait, that last part’s kind of a lie. They had monthly updates on the official site up until September 2019. Could’ve posted this on their social medias but you take what you can get. 

The major takeaway from the updates, in all fairness, was that the kickstarter wasn’t enough and they still need to raise more funds for the service. The “capital-building” stage he calls it where he’s looking for more investors in addition to getting actual programs onto the service. That and Oaxis is a big vision for Butch and his wife in spite of not only giving up the monthly updates and basically secluding any mention of Oaxis from any place else. That’s basically it and I legit feel sorry for everyone that couldn’t get their refund back.

This isn’t HBO Max or Disney+ where you just expect them to have something together after their initial announcement because they’re already media conglomerates, this is an independent project. One that people, your fans included Butch, put over 200K thinking you would at least give people something. But beyond a “sizzle reel” that said nothing aside from Oaxis going to be a thing, you have presented jack after two years. I don’t expect the ins and outs of every business meeting with executives, but staying silent about everything except for monthly newsletters that offer very little encouraging progress and hasn’t updated since September of last year is not a good sign. And I’m especially hard on this topic, Butch, because this is the biggest point where it is seriously hard to trust you. It’s not criticizing your ego when after having too many cracks in your story, you really haven’t put your money where your mouth is.

I don’t wanna presume the guy’s given up on it, hoping everybody would forget it after a while, but he’s really put the effort in to make Oaxis feel like a afterthought. I’m not an expert in business, but even I can believe that after his non-apology for not being upfront with his initial intentions, that he’d try to provide updates on the project to not come off as the scam artist people have accused him as. Even with his Youtube channel that I’ll get to later, I don’t think it’s hard consistently posting about your so called vision if you have that much faith in its success. You’ve already gotten thousands of bucks initially with the crowdfund, people deserve more than your pitiful wishful platitudes and I unfortunately can’t believe you’ll have anything after a few years. It’s not that everyone forgot about it, but you mostly took the money and ran. If Butch pops up with something if he sees this somehow, I’ll eat that crow, but I sincerely doubt it after this long. Like at least post something on the Twitter, I get depressed just looking at it; that account is the textbook definition of famine.

The Childhood Reposter

I’ve brought up Butch’s youtube channel a couple times, and it’s when every time I look at it, it’s a little sad. When it comes to major creators, I typically think that after finishing their projects they’d move to newer things. People like Lauren Faust, Mike Judge, CH Greenblatt are all continuing to make new works under differing studios while new creators are getting the spotlight. Butch though? I mean, he has a new cartoon that I swear you’ve never heard about but other than that, the dude looks like he has little to say for himself nowadays beyond the 2 shows he’s famous for, Fairly Odd Parents and Danny Phantom. I would’ve added TUFF Puppy and Bunsen is a Beast but I can see that those two aren’t his major players seeing as how they’re rarely ever mentioned on the channel.

If it’s not some watchmojo level meme video, almost every other video is about either two of those shows in some varied fashion. I get that he “created your childhood” and made credulous bank from Nickelodeon, but it’s like Danny Phantom is all that stands between him and having an audience. That and drawing anime characters in his style which is... y’know, I’ll leave that to you. It’s like he retired and yet goes on about the good old days like a fluctuating ego. He’s still making a cartoon but to him that’s hardly a factor compared to his known successes.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to just be known as the guy who made two of your countless beloved cartoons. Not that that’s all he talks about, but it’s the insistence of his legacy that unfortunately gives me Bojack Horseman vibes. He no doubt has a good thing going but I believe that this isn’t gonna last. Just saying, dude has 850K subscribers and unless it’s a real hook like with the recent Danny Phantom/Jake Long death battle, he’s hardly getting a good fraction of views anymore. There’s only so many times you can milk Danny Phantom as your masterpiece before everyone moves on.

The Holy Boast

I wanna make this short because I’m not a huge talker of religion, but I stand to say that you should NOT, under any circumstance, believe BPD, PTSD, autism, fucking heart & kidney failure can be “cured” or “healed” through sermons of prayer. This here? This is genuinely something else.

https://www.healingjourneys.today/

For clarity, this was a gospel conference hosted by Butch and his wife and yes, they openly proclaim that BPD, austism, and heart disease can be cured through prayer of holy worship.

Now, I’m gonna give a full disclosure right here because this most certainly biases my point here, like I’m gonna own this. But my grandpa was a religious man that suffer from health problems. He notably prayed to carry on, yes, but at the same time he sought medical help. Even he told me that prayers wasn’t gonna keep the pacemaker going, he went to the doctors and actually did more than read the bible to improve himself. He unfortunately passed, but he was in his 70s and I honestly couldn’t believe, as hard as I try, that he was gonna live forever. My grandpa would’ve no doubt died far earlier if he followed this conference’s logic.

My point is that this is personally unsettling. I seriously cannot believe this is how autism and religion works and it blows my mind that him and his wife thought this conference was a suitable idea. I’m not bashing them as christians, but thinking mental disorders and bodily diseases can be done away with motivational seminars because that’s basically what they are is a legit slap to the face. And the seedling idea that they’ve done this before blows my mind.

The Financial Flaker

This is very recent and everything is generally explained in the 12 minute video but long story short: Butch hired an artist and never paid them for their work. The artist in question, Kuro, describes what happened between him and Butch in this video and provides receipts. Can’t really add anything to this myself beyond this just builds to the idea that Butch cannot be trusted as a professional business maker. I believe he still has people working for him but from this video, it tells me that Hartman will gladly use those lower than him in favorable pursuits and will gladly throw ignorance when he wants to because his cartoon veteran status presents that shield from thinking he can do no wrong, which can mean throttling his hires.  Let’s end this.

The Conclusion

When I get down to it, Butch is almost a Machiavellian character in a way. It’s amazing how much the trust people have had with Hartman have evaporated in less than a couple years. It’s amazing how much his ego has truly shown after he stopped being a namestay in Nickelodeon. Haven’t even mentioned the times he arrogantly deflected criticism because he was a namestay at Nick and how a couple who’ve worked with are well aware of his ego. I can’t help but believe that even after everything, he claims ignorance to his fall from grace and keeps going. Even when more and more are knowing his true self, he’s mostly just doing what he’s been doing for the past few years.

It’s respectable in a way, but shows that the world will move on without him. Again, if you like Danny Phantom and Fairly OddParents, I won’t judge you for it nor say you should be ashamed. This isn’t about cancelling Butch, or get him to stop spreading whatever wacky things he believes in. It’s my personal take of how this man whom I once respected because of what he made before has lost every bit of that from me. It really feels like he grew up with that “I Created Your Childhood” mentality being a 4 time showrunner for almost a couple decades. And when he finally left Nickelodeon, I guess the chance to be that stand out self-made success got to his head and he finally showed his true colors. I now find it hard to believe Butch cares about the little guy that were his fans as much as he rides off his success and others who tolerate him. As such, like JK Rowling, more are seeing this side of him and leaving him behind. Meanwhile Butch is gonna chug on until he just loses steam. It’s kinda like Icarus where the guy will make every effort to fly to the sun. But sooner or later, he’s gonna fall, and in the end I doubt anyone’s gonna care to see it. I know he won’t.

[hopedalone]

ODD  QUESTIONS  ABOUT  YOUR  MUSE:

Some random questions about your muse that you may not have thought about, but could be fun to consider. Answer with as much detail as you’d like!

Do they make their bed in the morning? yes! always. except on every second weekend, where she strips the bed to wash her sheets.

How do they order their eggs at a diner (scrambled, sunny side up, etc)? sunny side up, with toast to dip in the yolk.

What genre of music is their favorite? she wasn’t allowed to listen to a whole lot of music in her childhood, so immediately listened to everything she could once she was out of her parent’s control. still listens to anything and everything at least once.

Card games or board games? board games, she’s never had a good poker face and has terrible luck drawing hands.

What’s their favorite cryptid? bigfoot. he’s out there in hope county. she knows it.

Did they have a nightlight as a kid? no. her previous foster parents either didn’t have the money or didn’t care. and the duncans certainly wouldn’t let her have anything like that.

What was their favorite food as a child? she had memories from before the duncans, of someone making her boxed macaroni and a pb&j sandwich cut in triangles. that stubbornly remained her favourite meal growing up. though she’d never say that.

Is that food still their favorite? definitely not. although she still likes to cut sandwiches in that way.

What snack food and drink do they get from the gas station on a road trip? energy drinks. enough to keep her awake on the road. and for food, whatever she sees that strikes her mood that day. usually a bag of chips.

How many times have they moved? after john disappeared, she basically never stayed in one place. traveled constantly. it wasn’t til hope county that she was in one place permanently

Does their hair grow quickly or slowly? quickly, thought she trims it frequently.

If they could describe their own style in one word, what would it be? fun!

What kind of bender would they be (fire, water, earth air)? actually, she’d use chi blocking in an avatar verse. but out of the options, probably a fire bender.

Pastels or neon colors? how could you make her choose? probably pastels, if she had to choose.

Who were they in a past life? a rich girl trying to dull the edges of the world anyway she could, the ungrateful child of famed philanthropists and benefactors, the cover of the occasional tabloid, tired but continuing out of spite.

Do they think scars are cool? on others, yes. but she used to be self conscious about her scars, especially the one on her face. especially when people asked how they happened.

Do they know how to read a topographic map? vaguely? she sort of knows where she’s supposed to be going in game, but mostly based on landmarks and description.

How about a map of the stars? she wishes.

Pepsi or cola? regular cola, diet pepsi.

tagged by: @bellytochin technically on nick but i’m also doing it here.

tagging: whoever wants to do it.

[mrneighbourlove]

Evil’s Bane: Ch 10. Evil Anew

The World felt out of balance. Leere was so weak, her mind spinning back into consciousness. The first thing she felt was a stinging sensation in her wrists. Her arms were being held up by a chain, with torturous cuffs digging into her wrists to keep her hands together. She could barely have to strength to move her legs. When she did, she discovered that she could, the Mortuus woman felt a draft. Was she naked? She didn’t have her robes. They at least took her coat and shirt off. Maybe her pants were taken too. She was too numb to tell. Even moving slightly, she grimaced at the immediate pain that followed in her wrists. Blood dripped from her fingers to the floor, and Leere finally saw the pentagram that’s surrounded her. “Oh god.”

Looking around her, there were four obelisks, and straight ahead, the Destroyer himself.

"What? Going to call out to my brother now?" Destroyer was occupied finishing the text on the Obelisks for the ritual. His own claws were digging out the symbols from the stone. All this death and decay and he did not even flinch. "Go ahead. Prama's host is rather busy right now, so I highly doubt he'll come running. Though there's plenty of other deities or spirits or whatever you wish to call them to cry to as well. Makes this so much more fun." He then said, "Better yet, why not ask Tzitzmime to have mercy on you? Perhaps he'll be in a good mood today."

“What do you think you’re doing to me?” Leere sounded tired, mostly because she was, but she still had spunk in her voice.

"I'm simply preparing a feast for Tzitzmime." Destroyer answered as his tail then started to draw a line to connect the Obelisks. He walked the pentagram, making sure everything was in place. After this was finished, he could see Kaksa once more. It would be him and her for all eternity. "I have to be a good host now, don't I?"

Leere grimaced, feeling the tattoo on her back vibrate very slowly. “You want to unleash the horror in me, don’t you? Why?” She looked up bitterly into the eyes of the god. “What can you possibly gain from it?”

"I get the pleasure of seeing that snake wail at the realization of he can't save you." Destroyer had a disturbing grin creeping across his visage. "And relish in Prama's failure. The Anagari will come slithering, trying to be your 'knight in scale-covered armor', and risk exposing Prama. When the fool does, I'll be able to rip my brother from the Anagari's body." He held up his razor sharp claws. "Interesting biological component of these Drakkan. They can use the most ancient of all magic... soul magic. Transfer the very essence of a living creature. With the Anagari so weak, I will be able to use this energy I have saved for hundreds of years to end my brother."

Leere felt hope slipping away. Was this the end of her life’s journey? To fail spectacularly?

No.

Even if she was, she wasn’t going to sink into despair. She still had her grit and her spirit. And she wouldn’t die letting him have emotional satisfaction. “Too bad that as a Drakken you look like an ass. Can’t imagine you can get laid either. I mean, it would be the most logical conclusion. You could never get your claws on your precious Kaksa. So why this life too?” When Leere saw him twitch, she smiled evilly best she could. “I bet your brother fucked her good. They were lovers after all. And even as a snake, he’s still a charming lover. I should know. I bet you can’t even pronounce sex you pathetic, little man. Must be why Kaksa didn’t love you. You’re so little.”

Destroyer did not like her speaking of Balance in such a way. No mere human could understand his story. It was just the three of them for eons. She would give her love to Maker and to him equally. Though for the longest time, maybe just a year or maybe a millennium, she did not return to his side and he despaired. What did his brother have that he did not? Was it because he was of the dark? Was all darkness considered bad? No one would ever know or comprehend, even it if would be a relief to share his frustration.

"Insult me all you wish; it will not change your fate. I'm not stupid like my brother. I will not act upon emotions."

“Fool. You might not be emotional, but you are stupid if you think killing me will bring you any closer to your precious Kaksa.”

"Oh, I know it won't. Killing my brother will." Destroyer seemed so bitter towards Maker. "But killing you will be fun."

Now within range of her face, Leere spat a hunk of saliva into his eye. “How’s that for fun?”

"... I was going to start with your finger nails, though I suppose I could begin with a tongue or your eye."

Leere cracked her finger best she could with the cuffs on. “Do your worst.”

Destroyer was by no means ever merciful. He started with Leere's painted finger nails, removing them one by one. Sometimes, on purpose, he'd leave half of a nail and deem he made an error and had to take off the rest as well just to spite her. Then, he worked on her toes. Before long, all of her nails were decorating the floor. When that pain was not enough to rouse the demon from slumber, he decided to try a different type of torment. Over and over, she was made to watch the death of her loved ones.

Every nail broken off was a spurt of blood. Pain became an abundance to Leere. This commodity was fuel to four obelisks in the room, syphoning it from her. When the mental torment of her family came, and in raw creative ways, Leere wanted it to come to an end. Seeing Rinku, Zelda, Covarog, Sunny, and all the others suffer and day was agonizing. “Fuck. You!”

"Seriously, is that the best insult you can do? So often it is used, never followed up on. Not my type, for sure." Destroyer held up a large pair of rusty scissors. "I wonder how much more it will take for you to break."

“You. Can’t. Break me.” Leere was breathing heavily to keep her mind relatively sane.

"Are you sure about that?" Destroyer nearly chuckled at her defiant attitude. "You're not the first that I've tortured and won't be the last. Many of your fellow Mortuus have broken before me. I have pulled horrors that you have never even fathomed from the shadows that my brother tossed aside."

“Vile beast. You lost before for a reason. You will do so again...”

As Destroyer was ready to continue, two robed figures with grey feathery wings floated down next to Leere. Putting two bracelets and a crown of fangs on her, they started to chant an unknown language. The Shadow man whispered gently into the Destroyers ear. “Your brother draws near. You and your minions must stop him and the wrath from interfering. When my other half is freed, my connection to this avatar will be lost. But make no mistake, I am coming here to see my work complete.”

"So… he is coming..." Destroyer sounded most amused. "I was rather uncertain of whether he would or not. Or perhaps, is it the creature that is coming for the 'tiny princess' he holds so dear? Oh well, the snake did try to warn her. Prama probably showed him all of what was to be seen of her fate."

The two-winged cultists started to chant. From outside a dome surrounding Leere, others gathered from Mortuus to monsters chanted in a hellish pray. The bracelets on Leere’s arms sparked on, and the crown on her head sunk into her skull. As Leere was shocked, and the fangs on her head sunk deeper, a terrible scream radiated outwards.

~

A flash of white. Leere was standing in Hryrule field. The sun was shining, but every animal was dead. In front of her the ground opened up. She fell and---

~

A flash of white. Decay and blood poured under her legs with the force of a raging creek. A mirror lying in front of her showed her true reflection. How old she was. As Leere pushed her legs against the blood to be not swept away, she looked closer at a movement behind her. She peered closer to see the blank pale face and the eyes of---

~

A flash of white. A void of emptiness. It was so white. It had no sound, no image, no feeling. In the distance, Leere saw a figure holding themselves close. They were a shaky silhouette. Turning with white eyes, it flickered. Leere’s soul flickered. It was time. It was the end.

~

All over the Tower of Death, Bonegrinder and Black had teleported, hoping to find Leere. However, like a signal bouncing around, they couldn’t lock onto her easily. Just as they were giving up hope, they saw a flashing pillar of blue light. Eager cultists were running forward, and as they stepped into the light, they were flown upwards into a glowing hole in the roof.

"It's started..." Bonegrinder felt a sense of dread tighten in his chest. "We are too late..."

"... is there any chance we can still save her?"

"If the demon doesn't consume her, then perhaps we can. You must be ready to fight."

"I always am."

Behind them, coming out of the wall as if being birthed from it, the Abomination was still giving chase. All six eyes board in on them. They had two choices. Run up the beam, or stay and fight.

"This thing just doesn't give up." Black sounded irritated.

"A Hellspawn of the Second Ring of Hell never stops." Bonegrinder slithered as fast as he could, going up the beam with Black right alongside him. "Personally, he detests the ones of the First Ring the most."

"And that's not a First?"

"No, if a Nameless was here, we'd both be in trouble."

"Hey, I thought you knew all sorts of magic."

"He does."

"So just magic it away."

"Only the one who calls the demon can do that. Or a Summoner."

"... great."

The ‘Angel’ drew close. Its six clawed talons suddenly glew a menacing purple, and it drove them at Black. As one nicked him, a deep sickness flew through the Wrath. Something that shouldn’t be possible was.

It was as if Black was suddenly paralyzed. He could not move and slammed harshly into the ground. Groaning, the Wraith tried to will his body to function, but he could not do so. Even lifting a finger was unsuccessful. As the creature tried to descend upon him, Bonegrinder's huge tail whacked the fiend away. Snarling at the demon, the Anagari maneuvered the Wraith onto his coils, out of harm's way. "You won't interfere." The Anagari curled the tip of his tail around the fiend's ankle and crushed it with a sickening snap. With that, it stopped its movements. For now.

As Bonegrinder and Black flew up the beam, they gave themselves ample time to flee as the Abomination recovered. It was a silent trip up, every second filling with more and more dread. At the top, they found themselves on the outside of a dome. Inside, Leere was floating upwards now. The Obelisk was burning bright with energy. Suddenly, complete nothing filled the ears of all in witness. It was then the Obelisk fired out a beam, killing all the cultists who wished to be sacrificed. Leere was flipped over with her back exposed. The tattoo on her back was glowing, with blood pouring onto the ground below. Outside the dome a whirlwind was starting to storm, red blood sky being torn by the wind. The final step to the ritual began.

Bonegrinder had managed to use a touch of Prama's magic to undo the effect of the fiend's poisoning on Black. The Wraith could now move again, but felt like he was dragging. There was hardly any energy for him to spare. He would be of no use fighting hardly. As the demonic magic started to fill the air, the Anagari nearly panicked. This was not supposed to be happening. He gently set down Black on a high ledge, hopefully to protect him from danger and rushed forward. Slamming his fists on the dome, he repeatedly struck at the structure.

"YOU LET HER GO!!!" He bellowed. "You want this snake!!! Come get him! You leave her out of it!!! Dhakk!!! He knows you hear him!!!"

"Ah, dear brother, you finally arrive to show!" Destroyer was on the other side of the dome completing his work. "A little late, as always, but better than never."

"He is here! You release her! This snake has seen a thousand deaths and he refuses to see another!"

"It seems Prama is still silent? Too cowardly to come and face me?" Destroyer played dumb, tapping his chin with a single finger. "Or perhaps... he's still not at his full power?"

"You are not capable of your full abilities either, Dhakk!" Bonegrinder snapped at him. "That will not happen until the day of prophecy!"

"Oh, you and that stupid prophecy, do you honestly believe Balance will come after Prama? After me? It's nonsense."

"You know she will! She is the Mother Goddess! She will strike down Chaos and restore harmony to the world!"

"Not if I can help it. This world will be consumed by Chaos and with you out of the way, Balance and I can live peacefully without the hassle of meddling affairs of a mortal world in the void."

From outside the dome, waking through the storm, a familiar voice shouted out to them. Sheer-Khan trotted through the bellowing wind, slowly making his way to the Hive leader. “Bonegrinder! We must abandon our station here! Open a portal to Hyrule! We must flee, now!”

"Kit!!!" Bonegrinder was relieved to see that Hades was still here. He had sensed his life was still there, but it was so hard to know for sure in this cursed land. "He is so glad to see you! Please, help him break through! Leere needs us! If the ritual is completed, then Tzitzmime will have another part of his whole joined!"

Lightning crackled, and Hades gently laid a hand on Bonegrinder’s shoulder. “She is lost. But we might be able to rally the rest of Hyrule’s Warriors. You must hurry. You are the only one able to open a portal home.”

"He cannot leave her!!! Don't you understand, Kit?! She's a key! If this is completed, Chaos can take hold of the world before he is scheduled to do so!" Bonegrinder pleaded with Hades. "Help this old snake stop the ritual! There is still time! He can suppress the demon!"

As Bonegrinder turned to break down the dome, Hades grabbed his massive metal club. With a sigh, he swung two critical blows. One strike struck Black. The force of the swing against a body his size made him fly high into the storm as if he was nothing more than an ace in the hole. The second blow was brought down on Bonegrinder’s head, caving in his skull, his brain, and his spinal cord. The concentrated explosion tore down the rest of his nerves along his massive coil. Hades sighed, carefully holding down Bonegrinder’s body. “.... You forced my hand. You stupid bastard. I didn’t want it to come to this. You should have listened to your heart and never should have come here. Now I have to play this disgusting role to its fullest depravity.”

Black had tried to rush forward to save Bonegrinder but Hades had swatted him away. The storm picked up the Wraith and threw him around, but he was still conscious. Finally, Black was able to grab onto a tower's spire and managed to climb inside. He was still here. He would find his way back to his master.

Bonegrinder, however, was out cold. Not moving. But still alive due to the deity inside of him.

“I know you can hear me, you wretched god. This is your doing. You denied me my most simple request. You brought my friend here. You allowed the gods and goddesses to fall out of Balance. My friend could have waited in the Hive while the world was recreated in blissful ignorance. But no. Now I must ensure he stays down for this.” Leere gurgled, a small cry leaving her throat, the Obelisk shining a light on her. Great new lengths had been taken to bring new conditions for the ritual, but it was finally done.

Bonegrinder was a creature of magic and violence when he desired. Sometimes, mere mistaken words or a careless action might agitate him into a rage. Many thought it was due to his split personality. The Anagari showed the side of his usual self, 'Modoc', and then other times, the true, cruel nature of 'Bonegrinder'. Yet, those who knew him throughout the years, had learned that he was one not to mess with or else there would be consequences. There was very little patience in the Anagari except for those he held dear.

Prama, for all his glory and splendor, had no patience. With Bonegrinder's mind silent from the blow to the head, the deity took over his host's body. The divinity inside of him was much stronger and could use his strength through the Anagari's body... but with some consequences for his host later. It was not an action he did often. Those large coils curled around Hades' body and one large hand snatched at the Lynel's throat. "Treacherous creature..." Prama's voice held no love for the creation of Dhakk. In full control, the Anagari's body was radiating powerful celestial magic, floating in particles around the snake. His eyes were glowing white, narrowed and angry. He always thought Lynels were rather haughty. And then one made the mistake of striking his host. "I will scald you into ash."

Hades opened his mouth, blasting the god in the face. His arms still free to move, he brought the power down on the body once more. “You could have resurrected my species! Instead you told me that they should stay dead. A being of creation too spineless to create! You should never have inhabited Modoc’s body!”

Squeezing tighter and tighter with the Anagari's coils, Prama did not let go. The deity did not feel pain. This was not his true body. His magic kept healing the damage. Returning a blow of his own to Hades' face, he kept repeating the same move, punch after strike after blow. "All things come to an end, and my brother is the one who decides that." Prama spat at Hades. "If you're angry about it, argue with him, not me. You should be grateful that the snake took you in, looked after you. Who else would have done so with a despicable species such as yourself?"

“You brought all his pain upon him. You... you alone.” Unlike the god, Sheer-Khan could not regenerate. The feline’s face looked like a tumour by the time that Prama was done. “Modoc would have... helped me. Now watch as you fail....” Before the Lynel went limp, he pointed to Leere.

~

Agony and suffering radiated through every nerve of Leere. Chanting echoed in the chamber, and brimstone sizzled from her back. With an explosion of blood and flesh, Leere’s eyes rolled back. From the pentagram on her back, something crawled out. The moment it did, two things happened. The night sky itself cracked open, bleeding the heavens. The second was that the sail of a baby rang out to all who heard it. As Leere fell to the ground, a little pinkish piece of flesh crawled on the ground. It had the upper body of a baby with its eyes sewn shut. Its lower body was a slug, flapping back and forth like a fish out of water. Every wail was cosmic torture to the ears. Schwanz des Teufels: Tyrannin was reborn into the mortal world.

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