#and invited a stranger to stay in the apartment without asking/telling me

[holeposts]

my idiot roommate is sick and coughing but still using her goddamn hairspray. at 8 pm at night. what is it for? what is it all for?

[xeeljii]

STEP ON ME

You're free to have everything you can see All that you want from me

WARNING! Explicit RPF! 

Summary: You meet a beautiful stranger on a night out and find yourself in his apartment where the night seems to be filled with endless possibilities

Word count: 5.2k

CW: 18+, f! reader, meet-cute /j, alcohol, dry humping, masturbation, no specific body descriptions.

This is a prequel to SHE'S MY COLLAR but can be read as stand alone, you don't need context but you can check that afterwards.

The night had started at some dimly lit bar for cheap shots and was now ending at some exclusive event one of your friends had been invited to. As soon as you walk in your whole group disperses but you are happy enough to dance on your own. The music fills you with energy, you down shots like it is water and dance wildly without a care of who is watching. Unbeknownst to you out of the corner of his eye you catch Joost’s attention, you are pretty in a way that makes it hard not to stare and he doesn’t want to be a creep but he notices you seem to be on your own and he is not a fool either so decides to try his luck tonight. He lets the magnetic pull of your presence bring him closer to you, he finds himself a couple steps from you, ready to ask if he can buy you a drink, rehearsed line on his mouth as he closes in the distance. But all of a sudden a song you seem to really love comes on and you throw your arms high up in the air as you take a step back, and without meaning to you bump into his chest spilling a little bit of your drink down his shirt. You turn around startled only to be met with the prettiest blue eyes you have ever seen.

“Sorry.” you both blurt out at the same time before breaking into laughter. 

The stranger before you is tall and pretty dimples adorn his face as he smiles down at you, he bends down to speak right in your ear so you will hear him better over the loud music. “My name’s Joost”. 

“Joost” You reply back, the name feels beautiful in your mouth and it sounds heavenly to his ears coming from you, you give him your name and he also tries rolling it out on his tongue, tasting it in his mouth. 

You stay standing on the dance floor without saying anything just holding each others' gazes, electricity filling the small space between the two of you without moving, neither of you wanting to break the spell. 

“Let me buy you another drink, since my shirt got in your way.” He speaks again pointing at the now half empty glass in your hand. 

You snort muttering again a little sorry before looking up at him again. “Sure, thanks.” You say leading the way to the bar counter. 

Between drinks and dancing you learn he is a musician, that he is here for a release party or an album recording or something of the sort, he is from the Netherlands and he has the cutest smile you have seen. He is fun to be with, he smells heavenly, he is a great dancer and he can’t take his eyes off you either. You dance for hours, down shots together and then start pushing them into each others mouths happily, you laugh until your cheeks hurt and the sound of his laughter is resounding in your ears. His hands keep lingering on the small of your back as you dance and yours keep running up to his nape, holding on his strong arms, and playing with the long strands of hair at the back of his head. You feel yourself lost to the concept of time as you stare into his pretty blue eyes. Deep into the night or the early morning, you have no idea what time it is, you hear his voice whisper dangerously close to your ear sending a nice wave of chills down your spine.

“Do you wanna come over to my place?” He says it without malice or bad intentions behind it,  or perhaps any intentions, he just can’t bear the thought of ending this so soon and never seeing you again.

You grab hold of his hand and look up. “Lead the way.”

He leads you through dark empty streets illuminated only by street lamps as you keep chattering away about anything and everything. He tells you about his travels, the places he has visited, the ones he enjoyed the most, you tell him about yourself, your friends and job he seems genuinely interested, asks little questions here and there so you will clarify the specifics, it makes your heart beat in excitement. You don’t know what you want or expect from this night but if it includes him it is guaranteed to be a delight either way. 

Half way through you start lagging behind, your feet are tired, your dress feels too tight, too short, and the amount of drinks you had is making you wobbly. “Are we still long from there?” You ask a little concerned. He looks back at you still holding your hand.

“Not much.” He replies, he sees your worried little face.

He takes a step towards you, lets go of your hand, shucks his jacket off quickly, and ties it around your waist without a word. You can’t quite understand what is going on then you see him turn around and go on one knee in front of you.

With his back towards you he speaks over his shoulder with a sweet grin. “Hop on, your ride is here.”

You break into laughter that makes you double over, it takes you a bit to compose yourself before you start climbing on his back. When he feels your arms secure around his shoulders he grabs at the back of your thighs with his strong hands and pulls you closer standing up. Your tight dress rides high, you are thankful for the jacket protecting your lower half from the cold wind night, you press yourself even closer to him greedily chasing after his body heat. You feel the warm expanses of the muscle on his back, feel the grip of his hand on your thighs, it is all too much, it make you want to dissolve into him. 

He starts walking, treats you as if you are weightless. He is saying something about this one trip he took to Japan you can’t quiet be sure, you feel his soft scent so deeply that you can barely register that words are coming out of his mouth, it is such a delicious comforting smell like aftershave and tobacco rolled into one but somehow sweeter, you can’t stop yourself in your intoxicated mind you pull closer to the neckline of his shirt and sniff lightly. He feels it as it tickles his skin, he giggles then asks bemused. 

“Did you just sniff me?”

You pull yourself away quickly pushing your hands against his shoulders to create some distance. “No I didn’t.” You say almost too loud, no confidence in your answer. You almost fall backwards from how hard you pushed but he holds tightly at your legs.

“Wow, easy there.” He giggles not even bothering to pretend he believed you. “Well do I smell good?” If you could see how widely he is smiling you would be mortified, completely caught red handed. 

“Agh! Please let me off the hook for this one, I’m drunk” You whine dropping your head in the crook of his neck and resting your forehead on his shoulder completely defeated. 

“Okay, okay.” he says laughing still.

After a few more minutes announces. “We are here.” 

He softly puts you down on the ground while he looks for his keys on his jean pockets, you untie his jacket from your waist and put it over your shoulders, fix your dress back in place, the cold of the night bitting at your exposed skin making you tremble slightly. When he turns around and sees you wrapped yourself in his far too big jacket, your hair flying all around you wildly with the wind and your cheeks kissed red by the cold of the night, he thinks he is in love. You are a heavenly sight, he must have gotten drunk and fallen somewhere, hit his head so hard he died and now there is an angel right in front of him. He wants to warm you up by kissing everywhere but he settles for reaching his palm out to you so you will follow him.

You make your way up the stairs to his apartment quickly as you hold hands. It is a nice studio, it is a little messy, way more cans of Monster than should be advisable but you live off coffee half the time so you are in no position to judge.

“Sorry for the mess.” He says sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck, you shake your head and smile up at him.

“You should see mine.” And he would like that, he really would. 

But right now he has you here and when he turns on a few lamps the warm light illuminates you more beautifully than before, the dimness of the club made your alluring features no justice, he feels his heart beat rapidly in his chest. You take his jacket off and put it on the hanger before walking up to him. Your face still has a nice rosy tint, the dress fits you beautifully but he can see goosebumps in your arms.

“Do you want me to get you something to change into?” He says as he is caressing softly at your exposed skin in a small attempt to warm you up, you nod.

He goes into the bedroom and you follow right behind,  he grabs one of his shirts and a pair of boxers and hands them to you, you hold the clothes close to your chest. The air is filled with tension and you are holding heavy eye contact, neither of you wanting to look away. After a long pause he finally speaks again.

“I’ll wait outside.” His voice sounds labored and deeper almost dripping with need.

You want to tell him to stay, that he can watch but you haven’t even kissed yet and it feels like a little too much, so you just nod silently before turning around. 

In the couch of the living room he takes a seat, he wants to take a peak but he is not a pervert so he starts smoking anxiously to calm himself. He turns on the thermostat and raises it a couple degrees to warm you up faster. Inside his bedroom you take off your clothes quickly and change into his, it feels nice, the fabric is soft and worn out, it smells like him it makes you feel like you are fully wrapped in his presence, it makes you tingle.

You walk out into the living room again, you see him splayed on the couch smoking and exhaling out of window he cracked open just a little bit. You go to sit next to him. 

“It is a nice place.” You say looking around.

“Thanks, I didn’t decorate anything. I’m just renting it for a bit.”

You break into a giggle, he loves that sound. “Well there goes my compliment, no matter. You should see me sober I’m much more charming, trust me.” You wink up at him his cheeks heat up instantly.

He looks at you stunned, you look even more beautiful in his baggy clothes, like you belong here, like this is normal, like you are his. The idea excites him terribly.

“Do you smoke?” He asks, you reach out a hand and take the cigarette from between his fingers.

“Only when I drink.” You put the cigarette between your lips and inhale lightly, you don’t really like smoking but right here, right now, you just want to have it inside your mouth as it was just between his lips.

The taste is stronger than you expect and it has you coughing up embarrassingly. He takes the cigarette away from you and goes to rub soothing circles at your back which would be sweet if he wasn’t also laughing so hard right in your face. Your eyes water and you try to hit lightly at his chest. 

“Don’t laugh at me.” The words come out garbled and hard in between little coughs as you try to compose yourself.

“Sorry, sorry.” He says still in between laughter, his palm is so big and warm, you can feel it through the thin material of the fabric, he continues rubbing calmly until you can breath normally again. With his other hand he wipes the stray tears away from your face. “So I'm guessing you don’t drink often.” He says big smile in his face.

“Oh please leave me alone.” You roll your eyes at him still a little embarrassed, you cover your red face with your hands, but he pulls them away before speaking. 

“Come here.” Joost grabs at your chin gently pulling you closer. He takes a long deep drag of the cigarette, lets it fill his lungs, he gently puts pressure on your jaw with his fingers so you will open your mouth and you do. He is half a breath away from your mouth, you can feels his heat, his lips fall open slightly and he pushes the smoke into your mouth softly, slowly, you can feel his lips ghost over yours. You inhale, so relaxed under his touch, it feels so good, you want to close your eyes and melt into his hand right now but you also want to stare at his beautiful face, the way his eyes seem impossibly blue and the alluring almost white eyelashes that adorn them, all made more enticing by the small cloud of smoke that covers both of you. 

Up close you see the beauty mark right under his lip, it decorates his face perfectly, you become hyper focused on it and before you can stop yourself you are crashing lips first right into it. You place a soft peck on it, he feels his heart stop then you move upwards to actually reach his lips. He feels perfect, he tastes perfect, it is better than you could have imagined.

You chase after his touch, he moves his hand to your waist to hold you closer, you feel him breathing in an out, chests almost touching, it is addicting. Your lips move in uncoordinated harmony but it feels so good. The kiss lasts too little before you have to pull away slightly to catch your breath, you see a string of spit connecting your lips it makes you blush even deeper if that is possible, somewhere in the middle of it all you had climbed onto his lap and he had let you. You are looking down at him, stunned with how gorgeous he looks, lips slightly red from the kissings and shiny from your own lipgloss.

He puts the cigarette out on an ashtray nearby, now both his hands are at your waist, thumbs caressing softly waiting on your next move. You go back for more, feeling bolder now seeing the hunger in his eyes that you imagine matches the one in yours. His lips are soft and a little chapped, they taste distantly like Bacardi and something sweet, the cigarette is there for sure but more than anything it taste like him. You chase after it, push your tongue in his mouth desperate for it, he is just as far gone as you sucks lightly at the wet muscle and you moan in response, his hands go to the small of your back and then to your ass to pull you closer, he feels the fat there so delicious under his fingers when he kneads his hands into the soft muscle. You mewl into his mouth, this feels so fast and like time has stopped. 

You keep kissing, moaning into each others mouths, sucking at each others tongues in reckless abandon. Your hips started humping against his at some point, you feel heat building up in your core and keep chasing after it with soft little movements, he smiles against your kiss, feels your teeth knock together. You are so drunk,  he wonders if you would be embarrassed to know what you are up to, he is now almost lying against the side of the couch, it digs on his back uncomfortably but he can’t be bothered by it when he has such a beautiful woman losing herself on top of him.

He grabs harder at your ass and pulls you up towards his stomach so you will stop torturing him a little with your grinding right on his uncomfortably hard cock. Your little whimpers sound so delicious, you are so lost on it, you keep kissing at his lips at his jaw down towards his neck, feeling his pulse right under your tongue. He keeps moving your head to reach your lips, seems to be wanting to eat you alive, you open your eyes and you see his pretty face full of desire, full of need, for you. There is a hunger inside you rapidly growing and soon it has you feeling famished. He can feel you trashing against the planes of  his stomach looking for more friction, he can’t really tell if you are unaware or so unashamed in your state that you can’t stop yourself. But you are so desperate for him and he feels like a boiling pot about to explode so he uses the last of his self restrain to tell you, almost beg you.

“Have some mercy on me schat, you are driving me crazy.”

His deep voice brings you back to reality, you feel your soul enter your body again for a second  and realize your hips are pathetically grinding against his soft belly, your face goes up in flames but you are so needy so hungry you don’t want to stop at all, the thought of it terrifies you. With your hands rested on his chest you uselessly try to pull him closer by his shirt and fail, but maybe your pretty mouth can get you what you so desire. 

“Joost please… I need you.” Your voice is so airy full of want, he can’t ever imagine saying no to you much less when you look so beautiful, in the couch of his living room, wearing his clothes. He nods dumbly before speaking. 

“Ok liefde.” He whispers back against your mouth.

He moves you swiftly placing your core right on the muscle of his thigh and planting his foot heavily against the hardwood floor so you will feel more of his tightened muscle. You knew deep within yourself, somewhere in your brain that he wanted you, that it is why he brought you back to his place, you expected to have a fun memory at most but didn’t realize he wanted you this much to let you do with him as you pleased, to get yourself off using his body.

You rub yourself against his thigh exploratory at first but then bolder, more vigorously, you are so wet, you wonder if you will stain his jeans, the delicious friction of the fabric on your cunt helping you get damper, more needy, he feels how hot you are through the fabric, wishes he could feel it directly on his skin, the throbbing of your cunt right on the muscle of his thigh as you make a mess of him. He is grabbing at your ass kneading softly and kissing at the column of your throat while you work yourself freely on his thigh, he is leaving big open mouthed kisses on trail until he reaches your mouth, you are so preoccupied chasing your high you can barley kiss back but it is okay, he does all the work for you softly exploring your mouth feeling your sweet wet tongue on his, the way your hips stutter when he sucks on it, how your hands hold tighter on his shoulders when he pushes his tongue deep into your mouth. 

He is painfully hard under you, but doesn’t mind as he keeps his eyes trained on your beautiful face breaking out in pleasure. You feel yourself coming undone far too quick you don’t want this to end, you still want to see how much he fills you up.

“Take me to bed.” You whimper. 

He lifts you with his hands below your ass in a swift motion and does as he is told before his brain can really catch up, he didn't bring you here for this, he doesn’t know why he brought you here really, he just wanted more time, more of you. But you are too drunk, he is also very drunk, but somehow feels more in control, it doesn't feel entirely right. He likes you, honestly, he wants to take you on a proper date if you would let him and he wants to meet you when you are sober, you are so funny and smart like this, he imagines he will be head over heels when he actually gets the version of you who can coordinate all her limbs.

He sits in bed with you on his lap, but then you raise from his warm embrace urgently, you grab at his jeans and unbutton them as you start pulling down, he goes to stop you. 

“I wanna feel you closer.” You explain like this is all supposed to make perfect sense, and it does to him, right now if you told him the moon was made of cheese he would probably belive you.

You sit back on his lap, his jeans rest at his ankles. You start moving again desperate against his body, he rests his hands on your hips helping you chase your orgasm. You keep grinding wildly back and forth on his lap, hands closed into fists at his shoulders holding onto his shirt painfully thigh, you feel the familiar sensation start to bubble inside you as your sensitive bundle of nerves keeps catching on the tip of his clothed erection every time you move. Your moaning is so beautiful, he is so thankful there are no other noises and he can concentrate only on what you sound like as you are coming undone. You feel your climax crush into you rapidly, feel your hole gush and your pussy uselessly clenching against the air.

“Joost!” You scream pulling him closer, he pushes his lips against yours and swallows your sweet sounds with his mouth, he loves it but his neighbors will kill him for it and he doesn’t want anyone interrupting right now.

Your body throws itself back in ecstasy but he catches you while you continue to softly ride your high all over him.

“It is okay baby, I got you, I got you.” He caresses your back, sweetly whispering against your hair, placing soft kisses on your exposed shoulder from where his shirt is too big on you. 

You come down from you high, heavy breathing on top on him, your hips still stuttering softly on his, your head is hanging low forehand pressed on his shoulder, he is holding you in place softly scratching at the tender skin of your nape, you swallow hardly trying to regain a little composure.

That felt so good and yet you want more, if you can only have this night you want everything. Your head feels so heavy, the room is slightly spinning around you, you try to focus your gaze on him, he thinks you look adorable. He is not much better off, his pupils are blown wide, he helps you out, grabs hold of your face delicately letting you rest you head against his palm. You raise your hips slightly, make move to pull the boxers he gave you down your legs, you feel you must have soaked right through them but you can’t care, he watches hypnotized with his breath caught on his throat, he see how wet you are, your pussy lips sticky with cum glistening with the light coming from the window. There is something so erotic about having you cum on his own boxers, he doesn’t think he will ever wash them again.  

You move quickly and far more coordinated than you should with how many drinks you downed and sit right on his erection, melting again on his heat, the warmth wetness of your cunt grinding directly on the tip of his still clothed cock, a loud deep moan escapes him without meaning to, but he doesn’t let you go further. In a quick motion he has you on your back against his mattress, there is a soft thud, he holds himself right above you caging your hands with his, gently but sternly. His face wears an expression between exasperation and love, you want to reach out and touch him so bad but under his strength you can barely move. He shakes his head lightly when he sees you jostling under him, stupidly trying to reach your hips up to his and wrap you legs around him to pull him closer.

“No, we are not doing that.” He says more to himself than to you, trying so hard to stay sane. “I am not gonna fuck you when you are drunk.” He looks for your eyes looking up at him pleading for more, he kisses a little trail from the high of your cheeks until he stumbles on your mouth and steals one last long kiss trying to commit the softness of your tongue to memory. 

Then he raises quickly, leaves you dumbfounded and so lonely in the middle of his bed, you feel weightless and like you can’t move at all at the same time you want to reach for him, pull him back down to your body, you feel so cold without him on top of you. You strain your neck to try to find him in the dark of the room. 

“Come back.” You want to sound sexy, too good to ignore but it comes garbled with the awkward position your head is in.

“Not going anywhere.” You can see him next to you at the side of the bed standing over you looking so fondly at your needy expression. He bends down quickly, kisses at your forehead so sweetly it makes your heart ache. “Give me 10, no 5.” He whispers before he moves far too quick for your eyes to catch, in a second he has crossed the room to the bathroom. He doesn’t bother closing the door you can see faintly the shadow of his body from the back, barely past the threshold of the doorframe. You can’t focus on much, your eyes are foggy, you can barely keep them open, everything is so dark you still feel dizzy but so pent up, one time wasn’t enough at all. 

At first there is a profound silence, you can only hear the blood pumping in your ears and then a small sound escapes the bathroom, it is so faint you fear you might have imagined it. The sound of skin on skin, you stop breathing trying to catch it again. You can see now a faint movement, his hand moving in repetitive motions, up and down. It sounds sleek like he is wet, you wonder if he is using spit or if it is his own precum, that thought makes your clit twitch, to imagine he is so desperate to fuck you but can’t do it, rather doesn’t want to do it when you are so vulnerable makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, but all the more needy.

Your hand travels south, finds itself between your thighs, you are still soaked wet, you starts tracing exploratory fingers up and down your slit, you don’t want to make a sound, solely getting off on his sounds. You can hear the smallest whimpers, the softest groans, the drowned curses coming from where he is. You start toying with your clit, you reach your other hand under his shirt that you are wearing and pull it up exposing your chest to the warm air of the apartment, you twist and pull at your nipples hungrily imagining how he would touch you, you scratch lightly with your nails at the sensitive bud and wish he would bite down on you.

“Fuck.” You hear him mumble distantly but it feels like he is right by your side, caging you under his weight, saying it against your ear as he comes deeply inside you. Your reach your second peak using imagination alone, remembering the way he kissed you, his smell on the collar of the shirt he gave you as you inhale deeply, the way his hands held at your hips so tightly, you feel your cunt start twitching as you release whimpering softly his name over and over.

You feel his presence faintly back in the room before you open your eyes, still trying to calm down form your second high, you wonder how much he saw. Your neck is twisted in an awkward angle, your make up must be all smudged and you don’t even want to imagine what your hair looks like but to him you are the most beautiful sight he has ever laid eyes on. 

He brushes your hair away from your pretty face, moves his hand to caress at your cheek and rests his thumb lovingly near your lips, you can’t help yourself and you take it in your mouth sucking lightly, you hope it is the hand he used to get off. You try uselessly to feel his taste on your tongue before he pulls away, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“You are really too much.” He says fondly like he is pumped full of love. He takes the last of his clothing as you struggle to keep your eyes open to drink in his beautiful body. 

“You are strange.” You say still feeling like this all was a dream, you smile at him with eyes closed. 

“You have a really pretty smile.” He says as he pulls your, actually his, shirt back down, you break into uncontrollable giggles, something like shame threatening to wash over you for what you just did but his loving eyes keep it at bay. “And a pretty laugh.” He pulls you up so you are resting on the pillows, he gets in after you and pulls the thick comforter over both of your tired bodies. He pulls you so your head is resting on his chest but first steals one last sweet kiss from your lips, you smile against him. “And very pretty lips.” It is the last thing you hear before you fall into heavy rewarding sleep finally melting into the heat of his body.

He hopes you don’t disappear before he wakes up, pulls you tightly against his chest, can’t wait to meet the you in the morning, see if she is embarrassed or if she is just delighted to be on his bed, he falls asleep quickly with the warmth of your body between his arms, hoping with everything he has that it is the second one. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

SEQUEL: SHE'S MY COLLAR ₊˚⊹♡ MASTERLIST *ੈ✩‧₊˚ A/N: also if u r one of the day ones maybe you realized this one is also referenced in DOGTOOTH … IT IS ALL CONNECTED!! well not all all but u get it Hehehe anyways I hope you liked it let me know your thoughts! <3 

[scarletwinterxx]

but on a wednesday in a cafe i watched it begin again - kim mingyu imagine

hiiiii - okay i'm so so so inlove with this one. may i say this is half inspired by real life scenarios haha anyways i hope you like it!

alsooo just a thought, would anyone want to be mutuals on X?

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

10 years ago

"Kyeom, I'm gonna go. I have assignments to do"

"What noooo, the game's just about to start" he mutters, he even kick feet like a little kid

"Then stay, but I'm going" you didn't even give him a chance to say anything because you're already out the gym doors. Your bestfriend used to your attitude at this point, he lets you be.

You pull your bag on your shoulders as you walk towards the school gates, some students were also on their way out since classes are done. Just as you were about to exit, someone calls your name making you look back.

When you spot who was calling you, confusion took over your face. Wondering why Kim Mingyu is here running after you when he should be inside with the basketball team.

"Hey, glad I caught you" he smiles at you.

Kim Mingyu, the guy who's known across all campus. He's the star student, all the teachers like him, he's never missed a class, he's good at studying, never the troublemaker, has a big circle of friends and an even bigger number of admirers from all across the school.

"What's up, do you need something?" you nonchalantly replied but that didn't deter him one bit

"Yea uh actually I wanted to ask you out" he scratches the back of his neck, looking down at his shoes as he waits for your answer

"Me?"

"Yea, I like you"

"Oh uh thanks. But I'm not really looking for that type of thing right now"

You watch the smile fall from MIngyu's face before it comes back again, it doesn't quite reach his eyes though. You notice.

"Oh"

"Yeah, sorry but uhm goodluck on your game though. I'm gonna go now" you wave goodbye before going your way. Not once turning to look back where Mingyu was left standing.

The rest of your high school life flew by like that. You still mostly kept to yourself, a few close friends, never really wanting to have any eyes on you. Mingyu never contacted you after that. You two acted like strangers once again, his confession something only you and him know.

Present Day

"Did you get the invite?" Dokyeom asks the moments he enters your apartment. After all these years, he's still your bestfriends. Most of your 'friends' from high school you've already lost contact with, you realized you were only friends with them only because you saw them everyday. Not many of them really made the effort to keep in contact, you can't blame them though since you didn't either.

But that's life. People come and go.

"For?"

"Our high school reunion, please tell me you're going"

"I did get it, and no I'm not going"

"What? Why? It'll be fun" he still does this thing where he stomps his feet like a kid when you say no to him, annoying but he's your bestfriend so you learned to put up with it.

"I don't even talk to anyone from high school apart from you"

"I'll be there, you can talk to me" he weakly reasons out, trying to plead with you is like trying to move a cement brick wall. He knows it's a losing battle but he still tries anyways.

"You won't stop bugging me unless I go, won't you?"

"You know me too well"

"Fine, but I'm not staying long"

"3 hours tops"

"2, take it or leave it"

Leave it to Dokyeom to make sure you're actually coming because by 5pm the day of the reunion, he came to your apartment even though you're taking your own car since you don't plan on staying as long as him.

"Oh you actually got ready" he says when you open the door

"I don't want another long message from you, let's go before I change my mind"

The two of you drove separately to the venue, as an introvert you admit when you got there you already want to go home. You see the familiar faces, already dreading the amount of small talks you have to do for the rest of the night. Cursing Dokyeom in your mind.

Your bestfriend didn't even give you a chance to step back inside your car before he's pulling you inside, saying hello to everyone on your way in. He's always been the nicer one between the two of you.

The two of you grab some snacks and drinks before continuing on meddling with your former schoolmates. Your social battery draining drastically by the second when you hear Dokyeom almost scream from beside you,

"Kim Mingyu! Yo dude you made it"

You look over where Dokyeom went, watching him give a bro hug to the guy. There Kim Mingyu stands, still as handsome as ever. A lot of years passed by but he still looks the same, just even better now.

The years have indeed been kind to him.

With everything happening around you, you can't help but feel overwhelmed. A few moments away from sneaking out but Dokyeom catches you once again before you can even give it a try

"Y/N's here too, you remember Mingyu right?"

You wanted to step on your bestfriend's shoes to make him shut up but instead you just shoot him a tight lipped smile before turning to the taller guy,

"Hi"

"Hey, it's been a while. I haven't seen you since... graduation"

"Yea, you too"

End of conversation.

You're still the same, Mingyu thinks. You're still the same girl he liked back then, you're still just as hard to read, still answering with single sentences, still beautiful like the day you broke his heart.

He wonders how you've been since then. Are you dating anyone or are you still out there breaking other guys' heart with your cold demeanor. He's still friends with Dokyeom and last he heard you've been doing okay. No mention of a boyfriend.

You don't give him a chance to ask any question, you say something to Dokyeom before walking towards the door

"Is she alright?" he can't help but ask

"Oh yea, she's being her usual self. It's a miracle I even got her to go tonight so I won't even be surprised if she's about to sneak home now, I'll just call her later"

"You two still close?"

"She's my bestfriend, dude. Of course we are, we're like twins ya know. Anyways how's the cafe going"

Mingyu hangs out with Dokyeom for the rest of the night, they didn't really run out of things to catch up on. He can't help but wonder how two very different people manage to stay close friends. But then again it's Dokyeom, one of the nicest guy he knows. At the end of the day, he's glad you're friends with someone like him.

The next day Dokyeom calls you to bombard you with stories about the reunion that you missed when you came home, he goes on and on about catching up with Mingyu then some other people from your batch you don't even talk to anymore but you listen anyways.

After the phone call, you get ready to go to work. You go on with your routine and before you know it you're done with your 9-5. That goes on for the rest of the week.

Some people hate it but you liked having a routine, it drives you crazy when things don't go your way.

Like tonight, your workmates all but forced you to come with them for afterwork drinks. You wanted to decline but you already done so many times so they made sure you come with them this time.

"Okay okay so what if you're in a room full of all the people you ever liked, who would you go to?"

Everyone take turns to answer until all head turns to you, "Oh me?"

"Yea, come on spill the details girlie we won't tell" one of your workmate jokes, clearly drunk

You take a few more seconds to think before you say your answer

"I guess this guy I rejected in high school"

"What? Oh my gosh whoooo, tell us tell us what happened" they excitedly ask

"Oh no big deal, just a guy. He was nice, like really nice. I liked that about him, but uh I guess high school me wasn't ready for any kind of commitment so I rejected him. I choose him because I want to apologize, that's all"

"Aw did you hear that? that's so cuteee"

"So where is he now?"

"I don't know, I never really kept in touch"

You grab your glass so you can avoid any more questions, after an hour to tell them goodbye since you still have to go to work tomorrow.

And as expected you woke up with a slight headache, even though you wanted to stay in bed for the day you know you can't. You get up and get ready for the day, planning to stop by this cafe your workmates keep on mentioning on your way to work.

Good things it's still early, when you got the cafe there were only a few people inside. You can smell the freshly brewed coffee and pastries on the stand.

"Next, Hi goodmorning what can I get you?"

"Hi, can I get an iced Vanilla Latte and a bagel with cream cheese to go? Thank you" you say your order while the cashier notes it down "Okay, for a moment I'll just get your order ready"

"Sure" you wait on the counter for your order, checking the other pastries and the menu board.

Mingyu was at the back, getting some stocks ready for the day when he spots someone on the counter. He had to do a double take to make sure it was you standing in his cafe, immediately a smile forming on his face as he watch you look at the display case.

You're too lost in your own world to notice him now standing Infront of you so he clears his throat to get your attention, "Can I get you something else, see anything you like?" he asks

He can see you weren't expecting to see him here, out of all places.

What in the twisted fate was this, you think to yourself.

"Oh uh the other barista already took my order" you tell him, Mingyu goes to the other guy telling him something before returning to the register with your order, "One iced vanilla latte and bagel with cream cheese, here you go. Anything else?" he asks again

"I think this is all for now, so how much?"

"On the house" Mingyu says with a smile, makes you wonder if he does this on a regular basis but you shake the thought away.

"What? No, come on I'll feel bad. Tell me how much" you tell Mingyu but he just shakes his head at you

"Free coffee for the pretty lady"

"Do you tell all your lady customers that?" you ask him, the words already out before you can stop yourself. You can feel your cheeks heat up but Mingyu just chuckles, again he shakes his head

"Just you, tell me next time how's our coffee and baked goods are then we'll call it even" he tells you, pointing at the suggestion box

"Are you sure? My workmates recommended this place and they said the coffee is good but I never really went with them" you tell him,

"You work close by?"

"A few blocks from here, I sometimes pass by here but it's always so busy. I guess I got lucky today"

All this time you were this close to where he was and he never knew. Mingyu mentally agrees with you, indeed it is a lucky day because for the first time since he met you you finally said more than one sentence to him.

17 year old Mingyu would be pouting and kicking his feet out of jealousy, he would never believe this day would come but here you are.

"Thank you for the coffee and food, uh see you around"

"You too, Y/N. It's nice to see you again" he smile again, you shoot him a small smile before going your way.

He watches you go out the door, the scene of you walking away hitting him like a Deja vu. A scene from 10 years go playing in head. Just as you were about to exit the door, to turn around to look at him behind the counter then shoot him another smile then you were gone.

This time though Mingyu wasn't left with a heart to mend but something to look forward to. Maybe just maybe this time it'll be his chance.

"You're down bad" Hoshi, his co-owner and other barista, says from beside him

"Huh?"

"Really?? Coffee for the pretty lady? so original" he laughs

"What? I never used that on anyone" Mingyu mumbles, "I know, that's why I said you're down bad. Who is she by the way?"

"Someone very special, call me when she comes back" he pats Hoshi on the shoulder before going to the back to resume his re-stocking duties.

Mingyu didn't want to expect (but he was), he would be lying if he didn't tell Hoshi he'd open tomorrow and man the register just in case you come in early again. He would be lying if he says he looked up every time the bell dings signaling another customer came in only it wasn't you.

It took you a few days before you visited again, and this time luck wasn't on Mingyu's side because he was not on duty.

"Hey, you're Mingyu's friend" Hoshi remembers you from the other day, greeting you with a big smile making his eyes almost disappear. He seems like a warm person, very friendly.

"Yeah, you can say that" you shyly answer him "Oh right sorry, what can I get you?"

"I'll get another iced vanilla latte. The last one you made was really good" you tell him

"Thanks, make sure to drop that inside our box" he jokes "Anything else?"

"Can you recommend any pastry for me to try? They all look so good"

"Honestly, not to be biased, everything's good here but that chocolate cake is extra special. Mingyu makes it himself everyday, want a slice?"

"Sure, sounds great"

Hoshi, you learn his name, goes and make your order like before then returns to the counter "Okay here you go, and the man says it's on the house"

"Huh?" you ask confused "Mingyu said it's on the house if ever you come back"

"Oh I can not not pay, he already said that the last time" you said, already getting your card out

"No really, he insists. And between us, I'd be in bigger trouble if I let you pay. If you want to scold him, feel free to do so and drop it in the box"

You chuckle, finally taking your drink and food "Thanks again, let me write something" you seat on a vacant chair to get a paper from inside your bag, writing a quick note before going back to the counter to drop it in the box. You say goodbye to Hoshi before going.

You feel your phone ring in your pocket, Dokyeom's name flashing on the screen "Barbeque later"

"Are you asking or are you telling me?"

"I'll come by after work" then he hangs up.

A few hours later, your bestfriend shows up with a few grocery bags and a loud mouth. You two catch up on what you missed on the few days you didn't get to talk, he likes staying up to date with your life even though nothing really ever happens. He's like the brother you never expected but you're now stuck with.

"Do you have any sweets here, chocolate or something" you hear him scrummaging through your kitchen

"I have a cake slice in the fridge"

Dokyeom finds it then walks back to the dining table, setting it in the middle to share between the two of you

"Oh gosh this is so good, where did you buy this?"

"At Mingyu's cafe, did you know he had one?" you ask back, Dokyeom's head springs up to look at you

"You went there? Mingyu did mention he had a cafe. So you two talked?"

"Yea he was there the first time I went, it was really nice the coffee is good. The other barista said Mingyu baked this" you tell him, taking another bite

"You know, you never told me why you rejected him"

Dokyeom suddenly mentioning that made you cough out loud, "You said you liked him right? Then all of a sudden you were telling me you rejected him"

"Are we really talking about this? It's been 10 years"

"Yea"

"Like I said, I didn't have the time and I got overwhelmed. Everyone knew who Mingyu was, I didn't want that kind of attention on me too. I guess 17 year old me got scared"

Dokyeom listens to you, watching you stab the piece of cake before taking a bite "For what it's worth, he really liked you back then. He even asked me what your favorites were, I said you liked cakes more than ice cream"

Back at the cafe, Mingyu comes in after Hoshi closes so he can start on baking tomorrow's batch of cake. He's in the kitchen getting the ingredients ready while Hoshi cleans the display case and front of the house.

He was humming to himself when he hears the kitchen door swing open, "Oh by the way Y/N dropped by today"

Mingyu forgets the number he was on, now he has to measure the flour all over again. He turns to look at his friend with an annoyed expression, Hoshi holds his hands in the air

"Hey don't blame me, not my fault she went here on your only day off. But I did say it's on the house courtesy of you, so you're welcome"

"Atleast you did something right" Mingyu says

"And she got the chocolate cake, she also dropped something in the box. Go check it when you're done, I'm going now" he waves goodbye before going to the office to do a few more things before leaving Mingyu alone at the shop.

He tries to focus first on what he's doing, going back to measuring the ingredients and putting it in the oven before going to the counter to get the box.

How will find your note here when there's about 30 others in here, he's not so sure. He reads through a few of them when finally he finds one

Coffee is great, maybe even better with company. On me next time I come back, thanks Gyu :)

He knows it's from you because of the nickname, a lot of people from highschool used to call him that. It may be common but it sounded extra special when you're the one calling him that. He takes the note and put it in his pocket before putting the others back.

Tonight's cake about to be extra good.

When Mingyu comes in the shop the next day he was expecting you to come, he wasn't going to lie about it this time.

It might seem silly but he never really got over his crush on you. There's something about you that he admired so much, even though people said you're the 'ice queen' with your stoic expression and one line answers he thinks you're just always straight to the point.

He never harbored hard feelings even after you rejected him, he understood your reasons. He knew you were focused on your studies but he just wanted to shoot his shot.

That day when he asked you, he already saw you in the gym before the game. He thought you were going to watch only for you to disappear a few minutes before they started, he chased after you with high hopes only to be handed his heart back in a few pieces. But even then he still liked you, he continued on admiring you from afar. Cheering you on your academic victories and cheering for you on your graduation day when you gave out your valedictorian speech.

He liked watching you achieve your goals, you always had that laser focus and determination. The entire class knew you deserved it.

Now a decade later, you're still the same in some ways. The night during the reunion party, he didn't expect to see you there. You didn't age a day, you still look so beautiful. You now carry this confident but reserved aura around you, he admits he was a bit intimidated to approach you so he thanks Dokyeom for being there.

The day passed by and still no sign of you, when he turns the open sign over to close he lets out the biggest sigh. Looking at the last slice of cake on the stand, ironically very similar to him. Waiting for you to come by.

He's busy mopping the floors to notice he didn't lock the front door, you just got out of work and decided to check if the cafe was still open. The sign said closed but you spot Mingyu inside so you try to knock on the glass door but he couldn't hear you so you let yourself in.

You walk closer to where he was before tapping him on the back making the tall man jump up in the air with mop in hand.

Mingyu turns around, holding his hand to his chest as he looks at you blinking back at him "Fuck you scared the shit out of me, sorry" he mumbles the apology after letting a few curses out

"Sorry, I didn't mean too. I knocked but you couldn't hear. Uhm is it a bad time?"

"No, I mean no it's good. I was just cleaning up. Do you want anything?" he asks you, putting the mop in the bucket before walking towards the counter with you following. He stands by the cashier while you stand on the other side

You spot the last piece of cake like it's calling your name, Mingyu following your gaze. Smiling to himself while he waits for your order.

"I'll get the last piece of chocolate cake, please. Hoshi recommended it yesterday and it was really food. Glad I got the last one" you smile

Little did you know he made that recipe with you in mind. He knew you liked chocolate cakes. "Chocolate cake coming up, anything else? Our cookies are good too, let me get some for you"

"As long as you let me pay for it"

"Not a chance, miss" Mingyu smirks, putting the remaining cookies in a box along with the cake before walking back to face you

"Not this again, you already got it for me the last few times I was here. How will you run a business if you keep on giving it out for free"

"I don't always do it" Mingyu shrugs

"Just let me pay please" you say giving him your card but he just pushes it back

"No"

"Mingyu"

He smiles, looking over at you. For a second you were taken back by his stare. The only way you can describe it was sweet, he looked so sweet like the cake he baked. He looked so soft and gentle like he wouldn't break a heart.

"Come back next time, I'll let you pay"

"You said that the last time"

"Then keep coming back, maybe one day I'll let you" he confidently tells you, the underlying message of wanting to see you again lies in the air. He holds his breath waiting for your next words,

"If you don't let me pay the next time, I won't come back" you threaten him cutely, finally taking the bag from him. Mingyu smiles walking to the other side to walk you out.

Before you reach the door you stop, "Actually, there's something I need to tell you" you turn to look up at him

"Go ahead, I'm listening"

You take a few seconds, again surprised with how he's staring right at you. Like he's seeing all of you.

"I would like to apologize for what happened before, you know the whole rejection thing. I know it's a bit overdue, actually it's very overdue but I've always wanted to say sorry. Someone asked me if I was in a room full of all the people I liked, who would I run to I said you. That's because I wanted to say sorry... so yea. I'm sorry" you mumble, now you're looking at his chest. Too shy to look at him

"You like me?" Mingyu mumbles

This make you look at him again, "That's all you heard?"

"I mean I appreciate the thought, apology accepted. Now back to my question.. I heard that right, right?"

"You're not wrong"

You and your one liner answers.

"So how many are there in the room" he asks, now he's teasing you. You can't help but scowl at him, rolling your eyes.

"It's a very short list and you're missing my point"

"No I get it, and no need to apologize. I respect your decision back then and I still do now. No need to say sorry over that, no hard feelings" he smiles at you.

Mingyu wanted to reach out and hold your hand but he stops himself. He didn't want to mess this again with you, if this is finally his second chance then he's not going to do anything to mess it up.

"I really am, it's been 10 years but I just wanted to tell you that. So yea.. that's uh that's all"

"Can I ask something?"

"What?" you ask back "Who else would be in the room with me, do I know the others"

"Oh my gosh! It's a very short list"

He laughs at your answer, reaching up to tuck the loose hair than fell on your face behind your ear.

"I believe you, tell me about it next time you get coffee"

"Seriously making me rethink about coming back here" you pout, this made Mingyu's heart pound like crazy. A hundred shots of espresso got nothing on you. Only you can make him feel this way, so alive.

"I'll bake you a cake" he bargains

"Chocolate?"

"All yours, on the house"

[milktei]

hi! i really fell in love with your “again” fic with sakusa. it was so amazing & i really liked how you wrote it. i was wondering if you can write another fic with that same concept but with suna?

Fine

Suna Rintarou x Reader

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort

Warnings: Suna is probably a bit ooc. not edited

Requests: Open

a/n: first of all i would like to let anon know HOW SORRY I AM FOR TAKING LITERALLY OVER A YEAR TO POST THIS. I LOVE YOU ANON AND IF YOU ARE STILL IN THE FANDOM I HOPE THIS IS OKAY. THIS WAS HALF FINISHED IN MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG AND I FINALLY BIT THE BULLET

on another note requests are still open somehow but i can’t guarantee that they will be finished efficiently :’)

You weren’t sure when the rift started.

You two were happy, at least you thought you were.

He would bring you little gifts after practice, eat meals with you any chance he got, either plan or agree to go on dates with you.

Until he didn’t.

Maybe he got too comfortable after so long of together. Maybe he thought he didn’t need to do much to woo you anymore. To an extent he didn’t, but him completely failing to put any effort into the relationship hurt.

He was on his phone more, staying at practice late, practically ignoring you when you would hang out, all without any explanation.

One date. One night not spent in an apartment is all you asked for.

After weeks of trying he finally agreed. An awkward dinner were trying to keep a conversation going felt like pulling teeth.

Your displeasure with him was palpable from when you got in the car all they way to his apartment where you two now stood.

“What is it?” he asked with annoyance ringing through the air.

You sighed as you sat on the couch “I…” you swallowed, almost afraid to tell him “I’m not very happy with how today went.”

Suna scoffed, “You’re talking as if that’s fault or something.

You winced “Well it didn’t seem like you were enjoying yourself either.”

He raised an eyebrow at you tone and threw his arms in the air. “I did what you asked y/n! We went on that damn date didn’t we? I even invited you over! What more could you possibly want?”

Time seemed to slow down in that moment. What more could you possibly want? Surely he knew? How could you possibly answer that without making him even more mad?

Clenching your hands, staring angrily at the ground, you could only say what came to mind.

“How did we end up like this Rin? It’s like we’re strangers again.”

For a moment you could have sworn you saw a shift in his posture, a subtle recoil, but it disappeared in a moment and was replaced by a more rigid stance.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you y/n but I’ve been feeling just fine. if you don’t like it you can just leave.”

The venom in his words was unlike anything you have ever heard come from his mouth. This wasn’t the man who you fell in love with. The man who stuttered endlessly when he first asked you out. The same man who took pictures of you any chance he could because you always looked good in his eyes.

No. This man was aloof, uncaring, detached.

He was not your Suna Rintarou.

“Fine.”

A beat of silence.

“Fine?” Suna echoed back. You hated that you couldn’t read any emotions in the tone of voice he used.

“Fine,” you said feeling more confident with your decision.

No longer feeling cemented to where you sat, you grabbed your bag from the couch, storming to the front door where you ripped open the closet to grab your coat. as you jammed your feet into your shoes you took a couple deep breaths.

“So you’re leaving? Just like that?”

You inhaled sharply and turned to him, angry tears filling your eyes. “You don’t get to talk to me like that,” you pointed at him accusingly “not after everything you did, not after everything I did to try to make this work. This isn’t my fault and you don’t get to make it seem like it was.”

The only sound that filled the room was your angry breathing and in a moment you turned on your heel and left the apartment

——————

That memory from months ago rang clear in your mind as you stared at the man in front of you dumbfounded. There he was, standing at your door. He nervously scratched the back of his head as he held out a bouquet of flowers to you

The state he was in was nearly a mirror image of when he first asked you out.

“I’m sorry.”

You had half the mind to slam the door in his face.

But you didn’t

That lovesick part of your brain that you desperately tried to shove back wriggled its way free and you take back the man that had put you through so much pain.

That leads to where the two of you are right now. Months after he showed up with those flowers.

You had initially planned to go to the mall alone, just to buy a friend a gift for their upcoming birthday.

Suna had the day off and when you told him of your plans, he surprised you by asking to tag along.

While at first you were elated to be in his company. A cloud of dread sat in the back of your mind.

He was trying, you could give him that.

Flowers, home cooked meals, cafe dates, and daily calls. Everything you could’ve dreamed and asked for all those months ago.

That was the problem though. He was doing everything you begged for and now you couldn’t tell for the life of you if it was genuine or not.

It was irrational and unhealthy to be thinking this way. To think that Suna was only being a better boyfriend because you asked him to and not because he actually wanted to.

But how could you think any other way with how he had treated you before?

Still, you walked through the mall with him, hand in hand, just like before.

A particular shift caught you eye in a store, one that wasn’t your friends style, but definitely yours. Suna could tell from the look in your eyes that you liked it.

“You thinking of getting that shirt babe? I can get it for you.”

You looked at him like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar and forced out a giggle “No thank you Rin, I was just looking.”

His smile faltered the tiniest bit “Alright.”

The rest of your shopping trip was uneventful and you eventually found what you were looking for.

It was when you got in the car that he tried again, “Why don’t we grab some ice cream before we go home? There’s a new place on the way to your apartment.”

He rejoiced at the subtle excitement that showed on your face

“Only if you would like to. We don’t have to.”

He nearly groaned in despair at your response.

“y/n”

You stiffened in shock at the seriousness in his voice “Yes?”

“Somethings bothering you.”

it wasn’t a question, it was a statement that Suna was waiting for you to confirm.

“What are you talking about?”

He sighed “I’m not going to sit here in silence again when I know somethings wrong. Something has been wrong for a while now.”

“Nothings wrong!” you shout defensively. Shocking even yourself. You turn your gaze to your lap and nervously wrench your hands together.

Silence filled the car

“Well now I’m even less inclined to believe you.”

You let out a sad chuckle at his response and take a deep breath before telling him what’s been on your mind since you got back together.

“It just feels like nothing will ever be like how it used to be.”

He kept silent and you took it as a cue to keep talking. You weren’t sure you would be able to stop even if you tried

“How am I supposed to act like nothing happened! They way you spoke to me back then…and then expected me to stay, getting mad at me for “throwing away” what we had, even though you knew I was unhappy.”

Tears fill your eyes but Suna dared not invade your space in a moment so vulnerable

“Then all of a sudden you come back and I can’t find it in myself to day no because I wanted you to do better so badly- and you are!

You’re putting more effort into this, but I can’t help but feel bitter sweet because I can only think about how your only trying because I asked. I wonder everyday if any of this is genuine or if you’re just comfortable having me around and then one day you’ll realize that this isn’t for you and leave again.”

The amount of despair that filled Suna was immeasurable. His mind filled with doubt and screamed at him at all the ways he could’ve done better and how he never deserved you.

Still, he reached out a hand and waited for you to grab it.

“I should have never let you leave that day y/n. I knew that from the moment that door shut, but I was too stupid, too proud, too afraid of what would happen if I chased after you.”

His grip tightened, “and like a coward I waited, hoping that maybe you would come back instead of me having to take that step.”

Suns let out a self deprecating laugh “It took me way too long to realize that’s what got us into this mess in the first place. Me waiting for all you love on a silver platter when you got none in return.”

He turned as much as he could in his spot and grabbed your other hand. You looked up at his face and almost gasped at the amount of love and earnest that showed on a normally expressionless face.

“I understand that you think that I may only be putting this much effort because you asked. But you shouldn’t be afraid to ask y/n, not anymore. Trust me, while I am doing what you asked it’s also because I want to make you happy. Every time I think about that day I get so angry at the fact that I made you so desperate for the bare minimum.”

“Please y/n, anything you want just ask and I will do everything in my power to make sure that I don’t make you sad again.”

You couldn’t help yourself and leaned across the centre console of the car, hugging him as best as you could as tears finally began to flow.

“How do I know this isn’t just going to go back to the way it was? You could very easily fall back into that habit.” You said through sobs.

“I know” Suna sighed

You pulled back “You know?”

“I know” he confirmed, “but I promise to do whatever I can to make this right y/n, you tell me if your unhappy and I will do my best to fix whatever I’ve done and ensure that we’ll be fine.”

A beat of silence filled the car before you let out a small laugh through your sobs. Suna’s heart fluttered at the first sound of happiness you let escape for the first time in a while.

You lifted a hand and messily wiped away your tears, “This is an awful place to have a heart to heart moment”

He smiled at you with all the love under the sun and cupped your cheek. “There’s a lot that we still need to work through, it’ll take some time. But how about I take you to that ice cream place first?”

You beamed at him, “Okay”

Yeah, you two would be just fine.

[loversj0y]

You’re loosing me 🥲

you're losing me

event masterlist

pairing: wilbur soot x gn! reader

tw: angst, wilbur is kind of a dick tbh, crying and fights

notes: i love this song so much but this one made me so sad man. im getting better at writing angst but it still makes me sad :(

word count: 1.5

taglist: @l0veb0mb1ng / @core-queen / @zooone / @lillylvjy / @ghostsacrosslndnfields / @melunnek

You couldn’t sleep.

You and Wilbur had barely spoken in months. You two see each other everyday, and it’s almost shocking how many conversations you could have without saying anything. You couldn’t tell if you even loved him anymore, you knew you had the ability to, it was just hard to sort through all the noise and indecision in your brain. 

Wilbur wasn’t very vocal about your relationship. He was affectionate in private, but sometimes in public it felt like he barely knew you. Even though you’d been together for years, he still acted like an acquaintance when you were around anyone, even friends. 

Your relationship felt like dying. You didn’t feel trapped, but you so desperately wanted him to just do something and be there, give you any sign that he still cared about you and loved you. 

You felt cold when you finally managed to go to sleep. His arms weren’t wrapped around you like they used to be. It felt like sleeping next to a stranger.

You felt just as cold when you woke up. Wilbur was awake next to you, leaned up and scrolling on his phone. You turned and looked at him, unable to hide the sourness from your expression this early in the morning.

He looked at you in response to your shifting, “Hm? Oh, good morning, darling.” He smiled, “Sleep well?”

You shrugged in response. You missed when a response like that would make him pull you into his arms, kiss you and ask you what was wrong and what he could do to help. 

Instead, he just ignored it. “Old friend of mine is having a party tonight, do you want to come with me?”

Not really. But it was better than just sitting and rotting in your apartment, unable to escape the constant reminders of your dying relationship. 

“I’ll come, I guess.” You’d long given up hiding the pain and resignation in your voice. Wilbur never noticed the signs.

“Great,” he leaned down, pecking your lips quickly, “I love you, darling,” he stood, walking out quickly.

You didn’t even have a chance to respond before he was out of the room.

You laid in bed for a long time. Wilbur barely noticed that you stayed there, even as he flitted around the room and got dressed for the day. Once he’d spoken a quick “goodbye” and headed out (you didn’t even know where he was going), you finally stood up and took a shower. You cried while you showered. Your heart felt tired of this, and you didn’t know how much longer you could keep it together. You’d dedicated years of your life to this relationship, and he acted like he simply tolerated you. You don’t know how long you stood there crying, but by the time you got out, Wilbur had returned. If he noticed your red-rimmed and puffy eyes, he didn’t say anything.

You got ready for the party quickly. It was a quick walk there. Every time you remembered the walks you used to go on, where his arms would be around you or his hand it yours, it felt like twisting a knife in your chest. But you put on a happy face. It wasn’t anyone here’s business the mental torment you were going through. 

The start of the party was nice, meeting some of Wilbur’s friends and mostly just talking your praises of Wilbur. Shortly after, he left you alone, and you felt overwhelmed. You didn’t know anyone here, except Wilbur and he’d currently fucked off to where ever. You stood in the corner, trying to spot him in the gathering of people. It almost felt like he was ignoring you, but you tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t on purpose. 

It did make you bitter, though. He was the one who told you to come, he was the one who invited you out, and he was the one who was supposed to love you. You’d never felt so alone in a room full of so many people. 

You finally spotted him, making your way over quickly. You took your place next to him, and he spared you a quick glance before going back to his conversation. You didn’t butt into the conversation, you didn’t even know this guy.

He brought you up though.

“And so, you two, you’ve been together how long now?”

“Three years,” Wilbur supplied, letting his hand come to rest on your lower back. 

“Wow, three years, that’s amazing. Are you liking the married life?”

It was an honest mistake, one you would’ve clarified with a soft chuckle and a simple “Oh, we’re not married yet.”

Wilbur had a different response. “Oh, god, no,” he fully laughed, shaking his head, “We’re not married. Didn’t mean to give you that idea.” He responded, acting like it was a joke.

It sent you spiraling. The rest of the night was a blur, too lost in your own thoughts. He clearly seemed to think that your relationship was a joke. So why was he even still with you? Why was he making you feel like you were dying? Why was it going to be your job to find a way to end this? To get him to admit that there was nothing left; he didn’t love you anymore. 

You didn’t remember getting home. You had walked home without him. He probably hadn’t even noticed. You stood in front of the mirror, staring at yourself and just wondering how you could’ve gotten there. 

Wilbur unlocked the door to the apartment about half an hour after you’d gotten home.

“Love?” He asked, walking in and finding you in front of the mirror, “Why’d you come home without saying anything?”

You sighed quietly. “I’m shocked you actually noticed.”

He scoffed, “Why wouldn’t I?”

“You haven’t noticed anything else.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t.” You ran a hand through your hair.

He didn’t speak for a while, crossing his arms, “Is this… another one of your sadness things again? You should just tell me if you’re upset. I could’ve stayed there if I knew that’s all it was.”

You felt rage bubble up in your chest, “God, Wilbur, I am so sorry, actually. That my pain ruined your fucking night. By all means, go. Clearly, you think I’m the pinnacle of being okay right now, so just fucking go. You obviously would rather be anywhere than with your partner who’s been struggling for months.”

He frowned, “What are you on about?”

You clenched your jaw, “Do you love me, Wilbur?”

“What? Of course I love you-” “Then tell me anything about myself, right now. Anything recent. How have I been doing at work? What song have I been listening to? How many nights have I stayed up crying while you didn’t notice?”

He was speechless. You continued. 

“I have spent months being there for you. Every time anything went wrong, or you needed support, you didn’t even have to say anything, I was always there for you, even when it hurt me! And you haven’t even noticed that I’ve been fucking drowning for months. All I’ve wanted for months is for you to ask once, just once, if I’m okay. And you haven’t!” You scoffed, anger bringing a laugh out of you. 

“And you know what? I wouldn’t marry me either! Because clearly there must be something so vitally wrong with me that when one of your friends mistakenly thought we were married, you laughed in his face. You treated the entire concept as a joke! And I- I’m such a fucking people pleaser, I didn’t even say anything or speak up at all! I let you laugh off the idea of us being together forever as if it didn’t even matter!”

You were fighting off tears as he spoke up finally.

“Is that what this is about? I didn’t mean to laugh like that, it just caught me off guard.”

You put your head in your hands, groaning and yelling into them, “That is not what this is about, Wilbur! Have you even been listening to me? Do you fucking love me or not? Because you haven’t given me any indication to show me that you love me, Wilbur. I feel like I’m dying just being here with you, and you haven’t even noticed. I have done so much for this relationship, and all I have wanted for months is for you to give any sign that you even know I exist!” You panted, and Wilbur just stared at you, “Will you just fucking do something?”

“I don’t know what to say. I didn’t realize that you were… were feeling like this.”

You nodded, sitting down on your bed, arms crossed. “Get out, Wilbur,” you whispered.

“What?”

You sighed, placing your head in your hands and wiping away tears, “Get the fuck out. I can’t do this anymore.”

Within moment, he walked out, leaving you behind. 

The worst part about it all was how easily he listened. He didn’t try to fight for you. He just grabbed some of his things and left you, alone, to sit in a dark room where you’d watched your relationship die.

[tangerinesgf]

Silent Screams

Tangerine x fem!reader

Summary: A job gone wrong makes Tangerine live his worst nightmare

Wordcount: 4.5k

Tags/warnings: major character death (yes again, I know just bare with me pls), lots of angst, blood, language, asshole cartel leader, lots of tears (please tell me if I missed something)

A/N: I apologize in advance, this is gonna be an angsty one. So be warned.

I told you this was gonna be easy, you worried for nothing."

"We're not out of the woods yet, love."

"I'm just saying, if getting in was this easy how hard can it be to get out again?"

"Jus' 'ave a bad feeling about this is all." his eyes were scanning the room from corner to corner even as he closed the door behind him.

Tangerine couldn't shake the feeling that something was up with this job. Not necessarily if it was a trap or not, although he wouldn't discard that option entirely. He and Lemon had been in a lot of dangerous situations, he wouldn't be able to count them all if he tried, but something about this felt wrong.

Maybe it was the fact that you were currently infiltrating one of the most dangerous organizations on the planet apart from the White Death's. The three of you were tasked with stealing an envelope which contained important letters regarding Girardi Ludano, the boss. They didn't ask what was in it or what it would be used for, but it was safe to assume that the goal was to destroy him and his reputation.

You had been going on jobs with the Twins for a while now. You weren't officially a trio, but you were with them more often than not. However when presented this particular one Tangerine has asked you to stay home just this one time. Ludano was known for being ruthless, he didn't care who he killed even if they had been by his side for years. If he found out you were fucking him over you're a goner.

He was also known for being careless with women, Ludano thought himself above them and with him most of the men that worked for him. Hence the reason Tangerine had asked you to stay put. Unfortunately you wouldn't listen, no matter how hard he tried to convince you, saying that you didn't need protection from a bunch of pathetic men.

Tangerine knows you could handle yourself, he really does, he just didn't want to take any unnecessary risks if he could avoid them. After a long and exhausting argument, Tangerine realized that you were not gonna let this go and decided to bring you along anyway.

It was a fancy gathering, all the most important people in the cartel were invited as were their partners. Small blessings he thought, because that way you wouldn't stick out as the only woman in the crowd. He wanted to get out as quickly as possible, because sooner or later someone was going to notice that there were a bunch of strangers among them. He held onto your waist the entire time, keeping you close to him, away from those lingering eyes. In return he could feel your hand on his back, trying to calm his nerves by drawing circles.

Ever since the two of you started dating his urge to protect you has grown immensely. If it was up to him no one else would ever lay a hand on you again. And that went both ways. He remembers one day where you'd told him that if it came to it, you would take a bullet for him.  It started out as a laugh, but turned serious quite quickly.

"I'm serious, Tan, I would."

"Yeah, well, before that happens I'm already not gonna let it happen, so don't even think about it, love."

And Tangerine was intent on keeping that promise, no matter what it took. He doesn't know how to do this life thing without you, not anymore. He was pulled away from his thoughts by your voice.

"Mhm?" he mumbled. He could hear her voice in front of him but none of the words held any meaning as they flew in through one ear and out through the other.

"I asked if you're just gonna stand there the entire time? This would go way faster if you actually helped me look for this fucking thing."

"Right."

After about a minute of searching you spoke up again. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing." he mumbled as he scoured through some documents.

"It's never just nothing with you."

"Just keep looking, alright? The faster we find this thing the faster we can get out of 'ere."

"Fine, keep your little secrets." Your tone was playful, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't help calm his anxiety, but he did find a small smile creeping up on his face.

Tangerine was looking behind the clothes in the man's closet next to the door when he heard a 'eureka' coming from the other side of the room. "Tan, I found it!"

Just as he was about to turn around the door to the office opened. Tangerine instantly went for his gun, only to recognize the man as his brother.

"Lemon, the fuck are you doin' in here? You're supposed to be fuckin' look out."

"Oh excuse me for trying to save your lives here, I'll just get back at it then." Before Lemon could turn around again Tangerine yanked him back into the room by his arm.

"The fuck is it?"

"Oh, now you wanna know?"

"Just fuckin' spit it out, would ya." Tangerine was already high strung from this fucking job and Lemon just playing around was not something he was willing to put up with right now.

"He's coming this way." Lemon stated.

"Shit." you cursed from the other side of the room.

"You couldn't have fuckin' led with that information?" If Ludano found them in here, they were dead fucking meat.

"I wanted to but you were being an ass about it."

"Okay fuck, we need to hide. Fast." His eyes scanned around the room and finally landed on closet he was just searching. He was sure that would be big enough for the tree of them.

Tangerine fully opened the closet he was previously searching and urged Lemon inside of it before joining him. He gestured for you to join them, but before you could make it to the other side of the room the door opened. Lemon instinctively closed to the closet, keeping the twins out of sight from the cartel leader.

"Fuck." His voice was low, only audible for Lemon to hear. This was exactly what he had been so afraid of, why he asked you to stay home where it's fucking safe. Now you were trapped in a room with a fucking psychopath who degrades women and all Tangerine can do is watch. He has to let it play out until it becomes too risky, which is an understatement because this whole fucking job was a risk since they walked through the fucking frontdoor.

"Can I help you?" Ludano asked you as he slowly closed the door behind him, his strong Italian accent filling the room.

The man was clearly startled to find someone in his office who is clearly not supposed to be there. Tangerine trusted your ability to get yourself out of this, you could sell hay to a farmer with that mouth. The one he didn't trust was Girardi Ludano. Tangerine knows the man wouldn't hesitate to kill you at the slightest suspicion that something was off or hell, even just for the fun of it. He could feel his heart beating in his throat as the watched the interaction through the shutters of the closet.

"I was looking for you actually, I'm a big fan of your work, sir."

"Who let you in here?" Ludano was cautious, almost hesitant and he had every right to be. As one of the biggest cartel leaders he couldn't trust anyone but himself, not even his own people. Right now though it was working to their disadvantage and Tangerine had to stop himself from just stepping out this box and shooting him point blank.

"The door was open actually, I got curious I guess, but I see that might not have been very proper of me." Your hands were behind your back, trying to shove the letter underneath your dress before he could see it.

"Step away from my desk please and show me your hands."

Tangerine was able to see the gun on the inside of the man's jacket as he walked closer to you. Apparently Lemon must have seen it too, because he placed a hand on Tangerine's shoulder, wordlessly telling him to calm down. "I'm sure you understand I have to be cautious with people who break into my office when there's a perfectly enjoyable party downstairs."

"Of Course yes, although technically I didn't really 'break in' if the door was open, you know?" you quipped, stalling to safely hide the envelope without him noticing.

"I said show me your hands." Ludano reached for the gun inside his jacket as you quickly stashed it and threw your hands up for him to see.

"What do you want?" his voice was firm but not especially demanding, still not sure if you were completely innocent or not.

"Like I said, I just really wanted to meet the big man behind the organization." You smiled innocently at him, as if you were truly just here by accident. It even threw Tangerine off.

"Anyways I know I overstepped and I apologize." You gave him an apologetic smile and walked past him and his still pointed gun to the door. Relief flowed through Tangerine when your hand reached the doorknob, turning it over and slowly opening the dark wooden door.

At least until Ludano walked over and pushed it shut again. He was now leaning over you, trapping you between himself and the door. "I've never seen you here before, think I'd remember a pretty little thing like yourself."

You were squirming under his piercing brown eyes, trying to think of a way out. In the meantime Tangerine thought of all the painful ways he could kill this man when they got out. "Which of my men managed to win you over?"

"My husband is just downstairs, but I don't think you know him, he's fairly new." Despite the situation, you held yourself together pretty well.

"I know everyone here, darling." Tangerine was crawling in his skin, desperately trying to get out of it as he watched Ludano move even closer to you. 

"Just like I know when someone is trying to steal from me." His hand slowly slipped up the back of your top and snatched the envelope from underneath it, holding it in front of your face.

"Wait, I can-" Before you could finish your sentence, Ludano pressed his gun underneath your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Tangerine reached for his own gun, this fucker wasn't going to lay one more hand on you. Until suddenly Lemon stopped him, placing his hand firmly over his brother's. Tangerine looked up at him, giving him a questioning and irritated look.

"The fuck are you doing, she needs help." he whispered as aggressively as he possibly could. 

"If you go out there guns blazing he'll not only kill her but you too or worse." For a second Tangerine considered the 'or worse'. If he was honest he couldn't care less if he died, what would actually kill him is having to live without you. But Lemon had a point, if he just stepped out now he might not just kill you but take you hostage or some shit. He could only imagine the things Ludano would do to make you wish for something as sweet as death. No, he wouldn't let that happen, but he couldn't just step out there without a plan.

"I'll just fuckin' shoot him in the head through this door, end of story." Tangerine said bluntly, trying to get his hand out of Lemon's grip.

"His entire fucking organization is here, no fucking way we would make it out alive after we killed their boss." Tangerine's eyes keep flickering between Lemon and the scene outside the closet, not wanting to miss anything that may happen. He could only hear small fragments of their conversation over his own with Lemon.

"Well the fuck do you suggest we do then, eh?"

"I don't think there's anything we can do." Lemon admitted. His eyes held a look of sorrow and pity for him as if he seemed to have already made up his mind. Tangerine couldn't believe his own ears.

"You just want me to stand here and let him do whatever the fuck he wants to her?" his eyes were comically wide as he stared at his brother in disbelief.

"I won't let you get out there, you'll only make things worse for both of ya."

"I couldn't give a rat's ass, I'm not just gonna let her die." No way he was just gonna sit here and watch, completely useless.

"If you go out there, she's surely dead." That shut him up.

Even though Tangerine knew deep down that Lemon was right, he didn't confirm or deny anything. For now he decided to listen to his brother and wait. He knows you, you've got this.

Both brothers turned their full attention back to the situation at hand. Ludano was still looming over you, only now instead of the gun he had his hand wrapped around your neck, the rings on his fingers no doubt leaving marks on your skin.

"I'll ask you one more time, and think carefully before you answer, okay?" You nodded slowly in response.

"Is there anyone else here?"

"N-no, just m-me, I swear." your voice was raspy from the lack of air flowing through your lungs.

"And no one knows you're here? No knight in shining armor coming to save you?" Not trusting your voice anymore, you decided to just shake your head.

"Good. Good girl." Everything they had heard about this man was true. He was a real sick fucking bastard. Tangerine wanted to rip his fucking arms off as he moved a strand of hair behind your ear. He needed to get you out of here as soon as possible.

"What am I supposed to do with you then, huh?" His voice was scaringly playful, as if he wasn't deciding the fate of your life at the moment.

"Just let me go, I'll forget everything, this never happened."

"As much as I'd like to, I don't think I can do that." Fuck. 

"Why can't we just forget about this?" You suspected that he wasn't just gonna let it go, but some part of you had still hoped he would.

"Why?" He laughed at you. "Because you tried to steal from me with the intent of ruining my reputation and my organization and then lied to me about it."

"I promise you'll never have to see me again, I'll be as good as dead to you." You pleaded with him.

"See the thing is, now I just can't trust you anymore." he released his grip on you entirely and took a step back. You could see the hold on his gun tightening. "But you are right about one thing."

The cartel leader took a deep breath before raising his gun, pointing it directly at your chest. 

"You will be as good as dead." Your mind was yelling at yourself to do something, anything as he removed the safety off the gun and rested his finger on the trigger. But nothing happened, you were frozen with your back against the door.

Alarm bells were going off in Tangerine's head. This wasn't happening, he wouldn't let it. But before he could even think about doing something he felt two arms wrap around his waist, holding him back. "I swear to god, if you don't let me go right now-"

"Then what? You wanna go out there and let yourself get killed too? I'm not losing both of ya today." With this the grip on his brother tightened.

"Goddammit Lemon, I can't just let her die." He tried to work himself out of Lemon's hold but it was no use. Lemon had more weight behind him, making it impossible for Tangerine to get loose without giving themselves away.

"She's gonna think we fuckin' abandoned her, Lem."

"Why do you think she told him she's alone, huh?"

"I don't care."

"Because she wants to protect us."

"She shouldn't have to, Lemon, I'm supposed to protect her." Tangerine was still trying to get free from his brother's arms, but his eyes were glued to you. He could see you shaking in fear, but making no move to get away. He wanted to scream at you, tell you to at least try to save yourself, but nothing came out.

Every word died on his tongue as Ludano slowly walked closer to you, the gun in his hand never once leaving your form. He leaned over you, leaving no room between the two of you, and pressed the gun against your abdomen. "Don't scream."

Tangerine trashed harder against his brother, it was now or never. But as expected it didn't work. He could see your eyes darting around the room, finally landing on his, only where Tangerine could see you through the shutters, but you couldn't see him. You couldn't see the tears already threatening to fall down from the corners of his eyes or the way he was still fighting to get to you. But as you were looking at the closet, not knowing if he would be watching, your lips curled into a small smile.

At that a tear rolled down his cheek and he stopped moving. You were about to give your life for him, but even now you were still trying to comfort him. To tell him that it's okay, that you've accepted it. It wasn't as convincing as you probably hoped it would be, given that your eyes were still laced with fear.

For a moment there was peace as Tangerine looked into your eyes. Those beautiful eyes that held his entire world.

A second later it was over.

Even though the gun had a silencer and he couldn't see the movements from how close you were standing, he could see the exact moment Ludano pulled the trigger in your eyes. There was a soft thud and your eyes went wide.

A broken scream ripped itself out of Tangerine's throat, but before it was even finished Lemon brought his hand up to cover his mouth. Where a second ago the tears were only threatening to flow over, Tangerine has now completely let go. He didn't care that his tears were rolling down his cheeks over Lemon's hand or that he couldn't stop screaming for you even though no one would be able to hear it.

As per Ludano's request you didn't scream, but tears started rolling down your face like a waterfall as well. He finally stepped away from you, leaving you with no form of support as you fell to the ground clutching your stomach with your hands. Ludano quickly cleaned his gun from any blood that might have stained and then made his way to the door. "I'll come back when you're done." Done. More like dead.

Because you were still sitting with your back against the door, he not so carefully moved you to the side before walking back downstairs. The second the door closed Tangerine ripped himself out of his brother's hold and almost broke the closet door as he rushed towards you.

He tore off his suit-jacket and crouched down next to you, replacing your blood stained hands with the jacket to stop the bleeding. God there was so much blood. 

"Lemon please keep an eye out if he's coming back." They shared a look and the next moment it was just the two of you.

When he turned his attention back to you, your eyes were shut. He brought the already blood stained hand that wasn't applying pressure to the wound up to your face, cupping your cheek.

"Hey, hey look at me, you're okay, love, you're okay." he kept on repeating it, not knowing if it was for you or just to reassure himself.

"Tan?" your voice was weak and every grain of color had drained from your face. "Where-?"

You frantically start looking around you, for what though Tangerine has no idea. He holds your face a little firmer now, making sure you're focusing on him.

“Just look at me, okay? Don’t worry about anything else. It’s only you an' me.” A worried smile formed across his face.

You slowly nodded in response.

Tangerine looked down to your stomach, his jacket now almost entirely red. As he turned it around, looking for a clean spot to press to your wound, he noticed your blood had started to turn darker.

"No, no, no." The bullet must have pierced an organ.

Tangerine rips your dress around the wound, giving him a better look at it. He tells himself that it looks worse than it is, even though it doesn't quite convince him. Blood kept pouring out with seemingly no end to it, it made Tangerine sick to his stomach.

Panic started to settle in and he started to look around for anything he could use to stop the bleeding or perhaps stitch it shut, anything would be helpful right about now. You must have noticed the panic in his eyes, because suddenly his effort to stop the bleeding was paused when  your hands reached for his. 

"It's o-okay." There was a content smile on your face, you had accepted your fate. Tangerine however had not and was everything but content with this situation.

"No, no it's fuckin' not. You're not supposed to die." 

He was supposed to die for you, to save you, protect you. Not the other way around. One job, as your partner he had one fucking job, protect you, and he had failed at that. He would have happily died knowing that you were safe. You would need time, but eventually you and Lemon would be okay, picking up your lives again.

Only now it was him that needed to get over you, knowing that he could have saved you if he just hadn't let you come on this job or if he had just fought Lemon a little bit harder. He has loved you for about 3 years now and he couldn't imagine a world without you in it anymore. 

You were his world, without you there was nothing left for him.

"You were my heaven o-on earth, did you k-know that?"

"Just stop, okay? I'm going to get you out of here and you're going to be fine. No stupid goodbyes." The fact that he had no idea how he was gonna do that was abandoned in the back of his mind. 

"It's not your f-fault. I-I need you to know that, I chose this-s." He could see you were in what must be incredibly pain as you pushed the words out of your mouth.

"Well that was one stupid fuckin' decision, love." Tangerine tried to joke. A slight smile formed on your face. It only lasted so long before you started coughing uncontrollably, one hand gripping your stomach as you bent forward.

"Hey, hey just don't talk, okay? Save your breath." Tangerine helped you sit back up against the wall as you slowly got your breathing back under control.

"It hurts." You croaked out against Tangerine's requests to save your breath.

"I know love, just hang in there." He didn't know what for. He couldn't call an ambulance, it would give them away instantly, but there was no way he could treat this wound himself without the right supplies. He was pretty sure even the bullet was still in there. 

Tangerine was so focused he hadn't noticed that your eyes had slid shut, your head leaning backwards against the wall. If this was any other situation he would have thought she was just calmly sleeping, but his blood stained hands painfully reminded him of their current reality. 

 "No, no, no.. don't. Don't l-leave me alone, please." He had grown so used to having you around these past years that just the thought of waking up in your shared bed, finding your side empty over and over again scared him to death.

"Come on... wake up. Please, please wake up..." He begged, slightly shaking your shoulders in an attempt to wake you up again. Failing. Once it starts to sink in that you're not gonna wake up, Tangerine broke down.

Every emotion, every tear he had tried to hold back came rushing back up, after all he didn't have to be strong for you anymore. Act like everything is going to be okay.

As long as you were still alive he held onto the fact that everything was gonna be okay somehow. He didn't know how exactly, but it was gonna be fine and the two of you were gonna walk out of here together.

Now that was all gone, just like you.

As the tears blurred his vision Tangerine looked over at you, that faint smile still on your face. He moved over to sit next to you against the wall. After a moment he carefully laid you down in his lap, holding onto you like a lifeline.

He doesn't know how long he had been sitting there, crying over your dead body when the door opened again, Lemon walking through it.

"I'm sorry." He knew Lemon meant it. It's not as if he wanted this to happen, he only did what he thought was right. Although it would take Tangerine some time to come to terms with that.

Tangerine quickly wipes the tears from his eyes in an attempt to look stronger in his brother's eyes. "No, it's okay. I'm fine."

A moment of silence passed before Lemon spoke up again. "We can't ehm- you know."

"Yeah, no I-I know." Lemon didn't need to explain what he meant for him to understand.

Slowly he got up, making sure to carefully move your body with him. He slowly placed you back against the wall where he found you as if you had been alone the whole time. He's not particularly religious, but he thanks God for the fact that you hadn't been alone. That you had been able to spend your final moment with the person you loved instead of that fucking twat.

Girardi fucking Ludano. In that moment where he was still crouched down next to you like before, he swore to avenge you. That bastard was gonna pay for what he did and Tangerine wouldn't rest until it was done.

Finally he got up, trying to clean his bloody hands on his suit pants. The suit was ruined anyways, not just by the blood but also by the memories it now held. 

"We gotta go man."

"Yeah, yeah.." It came as more of a whisper than anything else. 

As much as he would have wanted to take you with them, give you a proper burial, they couldn't. Ludano would know and sooner or later he would come after the Twins. Better to just let him think you operated on your own. He took one last look at you before closing the door, leaving you behind.

A/N: Maybe next time I should kill Tangerine off to switch it up (although I don't think I can handle writing that)

Taglist: @waiting4ffng4ff @venusthepirateusthepirate @megumisbabymomma @bratdoll666 @assmaster37 @wrendermeuseless @kpopgirlbtssvt @dontknownameauthorthor @earth-elemental18ntal18 @thirstyfortangerine @ilovetangerinewithallmyheart (Lemme know if you wanna be added or removed)

[theficpusher]

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Lapful Of Lou by hazzahtomlinson | M | 2055 Harry sighed, snuggling into his pillow. “You’re the best boyfriend.” He said, and then his eyes shot open. “I mean— you would be the best boyfriend.” His eyes flickered to Louis’ face, who was standing beside the bed, with a smirk on his face. “Not— not like my boyfriend. I mean— like. I wouldn’t mind if you were my— no.” He pressed his lips together to stop anymore words from barreling out. His face was flaming. And Louis was standing there, arms crossed over his chest, like he was waiting for Harry to finish. “You done?” He asked with a little bubble of laughter. Harry grimaced, “Just leave me here to die.” Or they are both idiots and it takes a drunk Harry (with no brain to mouth filter) to get things going.

If It All Goes Wrong by sunsetmog | M | 3341 Nick smiles. "Best people," he says. "Best mates." Harry moves so that his elbow's touching Nick's. "Best mates," he echoes. "Best wedding." Or: it's Pixie and George's wedding in Mallorca, and the night's coming to an end.

Baby, I'm Right Here by FallingLikeThis | E | 8186 Seven years. They’ve been best friends for seven years now and Harry’s only recently realized that his feelings for Louis have never actually been all that platonic. He’s never going to say anything because he’s pretty sure that if they ever had a chance for something more, that ship has probably sailed. And it probably doesn’t help that they live an ocean apart either. That ship is long gone, far over the horizon. or Harry and Louis are best friends who live on different continents and may or may not be in love with each other.

Truth be told, I'm lying by mediaville | E | 10363 They used to have a Thing, now they don't, but they both still kind of want to, and then they do. Inspired by the night in London on the TMH tour when Louis and Harry didn't look at each other once. This fic could be subtitled: Louis Tomlinson's Failed Attempts at Indifference.

if it's me you're looking for by eleadore | M | 14797 Louis has a bad habit of getting drunk before he confesses--or maybe it's the other way around. AU.

'cause I want you (for the worse and for the better) by nonsensedarling | nr | 26375 When Louis gets invited along to Anne's wedding, Harry is prepared to let people think whatever they want about their relationship. That's what Louis said -- let people think whatever they want. That changes when Louis sees his ex, who turns out to be Anne's future husband's son. Now, Louis wants to prove that he's an omega that an alpha could want, and Harry wants to get through this weekend without letting his best friend figure out he's in love with him.

How Fast You Fall by kingsofeverything | E | 49580 Casual hookups are all Louis has time for, and Harry has a plan to stay single and celibate until he graduates. After going from strangers to roommates to friends, they both start to want more. It just takes them a little while to figure it out.

Among Lavender Fields by homosociallyyours | E | 70354 At twenty-one, Louis Tomlinson is more than ready to shed the girl next door image that's been with her since her entry into film in her childhood, but with a mother and father steeped in Hollywood tradition it's felt impossible. Meanwhile, Harry Styles is a young, struggling musician new to London, friendless yet eager for the next phase of her life to begin. When French director Marie Coutard casts the two of them in her film, it's a chance for both to break away from the people they've been. Together, they struggle through an acting process that's new and unfamiliar for both of them, learning more than they could've imagined about themselves along the way. As they spend long days picking lavender and long nights sharing the things they've never been able to tell anyone else, their love blooms. Will the flower fade, or will the love they make among lavender fields be one they carry with them to the end?

[lheewonz]

[22:40] 희승 ✧ l.hs

wc :: 0.7k, angst, gn!reader, non idol!heeseung, not proofread // a/n :: i wrote this cause i was feeling a lil dramatic..

taglist :: @kflixnet @jiminzfav-furry @gunilsfurry

“Please tell me you love me.”

The words were whispered so quietly he almost didn’t hear them. Tears rush down your cheeks silently.

You had always been a silent person for the majority of your life, even in childhood. You never yelled, and you weren’t the biggest fan of unleashing bloodcurdling screams like most children enjoyed. Even now, you find yourself almost unable to raise your voice, whether you were frustrated or angry. As you had grown up, people would praise you for how quiet you were, and you would revel in it, sticking to your ‘quiet kid’ shtick for approval.

Until you discovered that there were certain situations in which being quiet was your curse instead of a parent’s blessing. Right now being one of those situations.

For the better part of a year, Heeseung had been the center of your world. A few of your friends had pointed out how that may not be healthy, but you had ignored them in favor of playing the part of the ‘doting lover’.

“Say it and I’ll forget what I saw. Please.” Heeseung just stared.

You had first met Heeseung at a dance convention. A friend had invited you to go for moral support and there you had physically run into him. It was a stereotypical meeting, you not being able to survive without a morning (or afternoon) coffee and getting it spilled all over you, and him offering to take you out to make up for the loss. You had almost declined, not one for interacting too much with strangers, but after a nice, long look at his face, you found yourself agreeing without realizing it. And the rest was history.

Not good history. This impromptu meeting went on to be the leading cause of your emotional turmoil for the next year.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Please... Please say something.” As you speak, soft as ever, you lower yourself into a crouch, almost like you’re trying to curl up on the floor.

Heeseung was amazing at first. Always knew what to say, never did anything wrong, always remembered the little things, all the things you were looking for. Then, after 2-3 months of living the life you had always imagined you would have, it seemed like he changed overnight.

The boy who would quite literally sweep you off your feet, press butterfly-inducing kisses all over your face, and be just as much the ‘doting lover’ as you were, changed and suddenly seemed to decide that little things like that weren’t important anymore because of one question.

A single, three-word question asked quietly under the cover of night, “What are we?” The first, and last time, you would ever ask a question like that. All you had gotten in response was a sigh and an empty bed in the morning.

Your chest felt constricted, so tight you could hardly breathe and your posture certainly didn’t help. “Heeseu-“

“I can’t.”

From that point on, it seemed your unlabeled relationship with Heeseung turned into a more physical connection than anything else. There would be times when you would reach out to his retreating figure, in hopes that he would turn around and see you whisper, begging him to stay because you were never loud enough, but Heeseung wasn’t the type to look back. Occasionally he would spend the night, but he was always gone before you woke up.

Despite being unlabeled, and despite losing the sweet treatment that you had longed for your whole life, you still found yourself falling for him, unable to let go of what was turning into an unhealthy situation. It really shouldn’t have been a surprise to you when you discovered him in his apartment with an unknown girl.

You didn’t even know how to react at first. Heeseung had cursed at the sight of you and quietly showed the girl out. When he had come back to you, tears were already flowing and for the first time, you wished you could scream.

Your breaths are short and ragged as you gasp, trying to stop crying. “But I- I love you.”

“I know.”

You choked back a sob threatening to escape you. “So why?”

“I don’t.” Your chest seized at his words. Your lungs fail you and breathing was close to impossible. It was quiet again as you tried to breathe, but with every inhale his words reverberated around your skull.

When you finally exhale, it’s accompanied by a loud wail.

[official-megumin]

Hey, I saw your recent post about how you're struggling. I know you don't know me, but I just want to tell you that you're not alone. There's a lot you said you're struggling with that I've gone through as well. I understand. I want you to have some solidarity, even if it's just because a stranger chose to share a piece of their story with you.

When I went off to college, things were fine at first. I went through my first semester with flying colors. Second semester started the same, but deteriorated quickly. I fell behind on homework, so I didn't understand what was happening in class, so I stopped going to class as much, and this spiraled until I stopped going to class all together. I spent most of a semester either in bed or *shudders* on League of Legends, only leaving my dorm to eat at the dining halls. When I failed all my classes, I was invited to never return. It was very much a dark place to be, and I can only hope that you're not stuck in as bad of a mental space as I was.

Of course, I don't know the full severity of your mental health, and I don't expect to either. I'm sharing this next bit of wisdom in fear of the worst, in fear that it's as severe as mine was: Find a reason, any reason, to stick around, and latch onto that. For me, that was my cat. I saw a meme once where the poster shared they were only sticking around cause their pet wouldn't understand why they were missing, and why they never returned home. Point is, the reason doesn't have to be something grandiose. No matter how trivial a reason may seem, like not ever tasting ice cream again, or not being able to see a new season of an anime, or even just cause of a meme, it's always a valid reason to not give it all up. Find what that reason is for you, and latch on tight.

I'm sure you've heard "things will get better," a million times, and I understand just how hard it is to believe, especially when depression takes hold. Instead, know that no feeling is final, and there will always be a tomorrow. Your mental state does not define you, and there will always be time for it to change.

Take care.

thank you so much for the taking the time to respond.

I'm no longer a student, I haven't been for years. But back when I did go to school, I also started off with near perfect attendence(granted I couldn't keep up even at the start) but as time passed and my mental health worsened, I started not completing homework and just staying home from time to time. I did end graduating, but only barely. And without covid and a hospitalisation that stopped me from going to exams, I wouldn't have passed at all.

Since then, I've been on sick leave. And it's been over 3 years by now, first year I spent just trying to get the doctors to listen to me telling them something was wrong. And in the process I tried to end my life a time or two and I was admitted to the hospital 3 times.

End the end I came in telling them about my experience with "Hearing voices" really it was just my alters, but still I was granted 2 years of intense therapy.

Now those years are over and I still haven't really improved much, my depression is as bad as ever, so is my BDD.

The only thing that has improved is my social anxiety. Which I am thankful for. But really it's not enough of a change to really make a difference.

Luckily I have grown older and wiser over these past 3 years, I haven't tried to kill myself for over 2 years for once(apart from one time this week where I was very close to attempting it) and I have learned the importance of having something to keep you going just like you said yourself.

I'm not really good at talking about this sorta thing, but when you sent this ask yesterday. You did it at the perfect time, I was very very unhappy when I saw it, and it cheered me up a lot.

I know that it to you probably didn't seem like that big a thing to do. But it was, it genuinely was.

I'm also really sorry if I caused you any sort of worry, my intention with that post wasn't to ask for help really. I think at least.

But more to show that there is more to my life, and to so many other trans people out there than just happiness. And that it's not a failure to not be happy all the time, even if it seems like everyone around you is doing great. That was what I was trying to do.

I hope you have a good day, and a good rest of your week. And that you feel like you made even just a tiny difference in the world.

I hope you feel like you have the strength to help others, as well as other people may feel inspired to reach out to others whom they feel could use a hand.

The world needs more light in these dark times, and honestly this interaction with you has been a highlight, thank you

[geo-winchester]

Sweet Caroline

Summary: after years of not seen each other, Marc come back to your life, bringing all those memories you share.

A/N: hey everyone I hope your having a great weekend, I’m sorry for not being more active I have a lot of studying to do and I having troubles for finding inspirations, but I heard the song of 2002 with ed Sheeran and this start to pop in my head, also I know this supose to be for writer Wednesday so again I’m sorry, anyway I hope you like it, if anyone has a feedback or have a request please let me know!!

Moon knight Masterlist

——————

It’s been a while since you moved to the city, you were young when you decided to follow your dreams to be a theater singer. You start your way in one of those restaurants where you sing as you take orders. You like to say that you get your first role earlier than you had it, you have a bunch of horrible auditions, then you start as one of the actresses from the back and slowly you make your way until you have your first protagonic. If you were honest you didn’t think about the life in your hometown, but when you saw Marc waiting for you outside of the theater, you suddenly felt like that teenage girl.

-Hey stranger- you said with a smile.

-Hey, caroline- he said, making you scoff.

-Wow, it’s been a long time since i heard that nickname- you said -I miss it.

-I miss you too- he said, making you smile, you look around before you meet his eyes again -Do you want to go somewhere else? Of course if you don't have anything else to do.

-I’m free, come on I’ll take you to the best restaurant in the city- you said as you took his arm.

The walk to your destiny was quiet, none of you said much, just the typical questions about their lives, as the two of you walked side by side, you started to remember your childhood with Marc. You met hims when the two of you were kids, you used to play with him and his brother, you couldn’t count how many times your parents make him stayed at your house when his brother’s accident happened, as you grew up you become closer and closer, then you met Steven, your special friend as you like to call him, Marc was tough, but Steven was sweet and naive and you love the two of them. When you finally stop, Marc looks at you confused when he notices that you stop next to a hotdog car.

-This is it?- he asked you.

-Yes, don’t let this fool you, Mike sells the best hot dogs in the city- he smiled -don’t worry I wont tell Steven about this, beside you can’t leave the city without one of these, right mike- the men behind the car nod. After the two of you had your meal, you guided him to a nearby park. He smiled when he saw it -What?

-Now I get why this is your favorite spot- he said as he kept looking at the view -is full of life- he said, you nod, there were a bunch of people playing their instrument, a few meters from there were a bunch of people dancing.

-I come here every time things start to be messy or just to relax- he nods.

-It 's nice.

-So… should I make a scene? How many times have you come to the city and this is your first time visiting me?- he smiled.

-You’re wrong, this is my first time here.

-Really? How's that possible?

-Well, I spend a lot of time out of the country with my job- you raised an eyebrow.

-Did you enjoy it?

-Sometimes, it has its moments- you nod.

-Beside you got married… Thanks for the invitation.

-I didn't know if you wanted to come.

-How you don’t know that, you're my best friend, I loved to see you getting married.

-I’ll invite you to the next one- you look at him with sadness -it didn’t work out, we weren’t meant to be.

-Are you ok?

-Yes, I’m always fine when I’m around you- he said, making you blush.

-Come on, I have something to show you- you said as you got up from your seat.

Marc followed you to your apartment, it was a small place, you didn’t spend a lot of time there so you didn’t want to spend a lot of money on a big apartment. Marc waits for you in the living room as you go through your apartment as you look for something, after a few minutes, you finally come back with a box.

-Your dad sent me this a few months ago- you said as you opened the box, there were a bunch of photos, but Marc’s attention immediately went to some postcards and letters -I kept every postcard and letter that you sent.

-I never thank you…

-For what?- you asked.

-For keep sending the postcards for Steven.

-It was my pleasure, I like to talk to Steven, he’s cute.

-So you prefer him to be here?- he asked you, pretending to be mad, you couldn’t help but laugh.

-Oh my god, look at this- you said as you took one photograph, it shows the two of you when you were a couple of kids, you were dressed as a princess as he was dressed as frankenstein -I remember this, it was the first halloween we spent together.

-Look at this one- he said as he showed you a picture where you were a couple of teens.

-Anyone would say that you look like a badass but I remember you only sang I want it that way- you said and smiled.

-I don’t know what you are talking about.

-Ah, no?- you said, raising your eyebrow, before he could answer, you took your phone and suddenly that song started to play -You are my fire, the one desire, believe when I say…

-I want it that way- he sang with you making you laugh -and what about you? you keep singing all the songs of taylor swift- he took your phone from your hands and a song of taylor swift started to sound.

-It’s been ages since I heard that song- you said and start to sing -I was ridin’ shotgun with my hair undone, in the front seat of his car- he start to laugh and before you keep singing he took your hand and the two of you start to spin around as you dance, when the song was done the two of you fall in the couch as the two of you laugh, after a few seconds Marc look at you.

-I made a mistake all those years ago- he said.

-What are you talking about?- you asked him.

-I should have come with you when you asked me…

-Maybe it’s what it meant to be, that gave you your life, and for what you wrote on those letters, you have a good one- he nod as he thinks.

-I have to be honest with something- he said -I lied when I said that this is my first time here, but I was here before, actually a few months before my marriage ended- you look at him confused.

-Why didn't you tell me?- He scoffed.

-Because I was ashamed, we came to this show, the singer was amazing, beautiful and sang like hell… it was your show… after that Layla keep saying that I never look at her as I look at you, and she was right, I thought I love her but… I was still in love with my Caroline.

-You were?- he nodded -then why you never said anything? I was in love with you too…

-Because I was afraid of lose you, I thought that it wasn’t the moment for our love story and I hope it’s not too late- he said as he got close to kiss you but something in you make you lean back making him realize that you don’t want him to do it -I should go- he said and before you could say anything he was gone, he was waiting for the elevator when he hear you yelling his name.

-Marc wait- when he turned around, you kissed him, he kissed you back when he realized what was happening -I’m sorry…

-It’s ok- he said

-Listen, I have a rehearsal tomorrow, I finish at 6 if you want- he smiled when he notice you were trying to find the words

-I’ll be there at 6, with your favorite coffee- you smile and kiss him again.

-See you tomorrow, Taylor- he smiled.

-Bye, Caroline.

-Ok, I have to know, why Caroline?- you asked him.

-When I realized I was falling for you when you were on that talent show, you sang…

-Sweet Caroline- you said with a smile.

-It’s always been you- he wink at you -I hope that calling me Taylor has a good story- you got close.

-It was with that Taylor swift song that I fell for you again.

-Again?- he asked.

-Again- you said with a smile as he cut the space between the two of you and kissed you.

Xxxxxx

Tag list: @writefightandflightclub @mariesackler @multifandomlife22 @mattmurdocksscars @phoenixhalliwell @autumnleaves1991-blog @supernovafeather @ofstarsandvibranium @santigarcia @itspdameronthings @ahookedheroespureheart @later-gators12 @22carolina08 @in-between-the-cafes @writer-wednesday

If you want me to add you to my taglist please let me know🙈

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Drag/Drag Queen Masterlist

Aria in the Snow (ao3) - Eavans

Summary: If you asked most people of Daniel J. Howell’s lot in life, they’d tell you it was pretty good. A small career writing for a fashionable magazine, the heir to one of New York’s most prestigious hotels, the convenience of youth and an ailing millionaire father… what more could an 18-year-old ask for?

So when a night at the symphony turns into the start of a whole new double life in the city’s queer underworld, the heir to New York’s most fashionable hotel will have to learn what is what when you're dating a cabaret singer, and who is who when that singer becomes a troubled star.

So it’s nothing but fate to blame when things start to fall apart. The catch? It’s the last half of the 1920s—

And this romance is illegal.

Black Velvet (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Phil is a successful photographer who just landed a photo shoot with his muse: Rupaul’s Drag Race winner, Obsidian Rose. Will he be able to win a place in her heart as well?

break free (ao3) - wiccamoody

Summary: Dan is a competitor on the first season of RuPaul's Drag Race UK.

Dance for me? (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Murder, intrigue, and a dashingly charming police officer- all Dan needs.

The scene is set- a series of murders in 1922, an undercover officer who's discovering that he may not be as straight as he thought, a gorgeous young drag queen, and a budding romance between furtive glances over shoulders. Detective Phil Lester is sent to bust a drag ball, but instead is drawn into the eyes of Daniel Howell. He makes an impulsive choice, and begs the young man to help him- the murders are stacking up, and Phil needs a partner.

Dan, of course, agrees. How could anyone resist the deep blue eyes of someone that swept you off your feet?

Drag Me (Wattpad) - natwhatacat

Summary: Phil Lester is a drag queen. What happens when the school bully Dan Howell shows up to the show one night?

Dude Looks Like a Lady (2) (3) (4) (5)- catlester

Summary: Dan is a drag queen.

For The Gods (ao3) - danrifics

Summary: Dan and Phil's son, Evan, is in the top 4 of RuPaul's Drag Race UK. This weeks task is 'Family makeovers' and Dan volunteers to be Dragified.

I Make These High Heels Work (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan explores his more feminine side when he gets a day off and spends it in from of a mirror in a dress and heels.

Just Another Drag Queen (ao3) - iamthechickenqueen

Summary: The Fantastic Foursome find themselves in a complicated whirlwind of love, deception and men dressed as women

Kiss Me on the Mouth (And Set Me Free) (ao3) - xoPrincessKayxo

Summary: Dan finally manages to get an invitation to The Underground, an extremely exclusive club. While there, he is mesmerized by Luna, a captivating drag queen that looks a lot like the gorgeous stranger he met earlier that night

Shante, you stay (ao3) - danrifics

Summary: Dan and Phil's son is a drag queen know as Betta Norman

some killer queen you are (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan’s enjoyed taking a break from YouTube, but for some reason, he still feels like something is missing. Determined to fill the creative void in his life, he decides to try out something new: drag.

The Birdcage (ao3) - sadlybunny

Summary: Phil Lester is the owner of the popular drag club, The Birdcage. Dan Howell, his long term partner, is the headlining queen “Amethyst Star”. But when Phil’s son comes to them with important news, their relationship is threatened by the promise of new in-laws who might not know that Phil is gay.

Walk Like A Man (ao3) - Spiteful_Letters

Summary: Phil is a drag queen named Phillippa Treasure.

Dan is just very confused.

we break the dawn (ao3) - templeofshame

Summary: The last time Dan was here without a tour hanging over his head, he wasn’t even watching Drag Race, let alone ready to be spotted in the crowd at a drag show. Tonight, if someone recognizes them, asks for a photo, even takes a creepshot… they can knock themselves out. There’s no limit to how queer Dan and Phil can be in public, not anymore.

[casspurrjoybell-17]

HEART'S DESIRE - CHAPTER 13

*Warning: Adult Content*   

Sasha Hunter's house is cool yet cozy, with an uncluttered, rustic atmosphere. 

Log beams span the raised ceiling overhead and stone accents give the place a calm, forest-river feel. 

She leads the way to her living room, where everyone had gathered before they'd arrived and invites them to make themselves at home.

"Y'all want coffee?" she asks. 

"I just made some fresh."

Alpha Dane Hunter and his mate, Julian Hart accept, Montreal Hunter declines and ‘unsurprisingly’ Kit Montraine follows his lead. 

Kit stays close to Monty, observing everything with quiet curiosity.

"What about the little ones?" Sasha asks, bouncing Luna on her hip. 

"Do they like juice? Or chocolate milk?"

"Just plain milk, if you have any," Julian says. 

"Sugar makes them a little... wild, if you know what I mean.""

Wild?" Sasha laughs. 

"This little angel?"

Luna watches her with wide, mismatched eyes, clearly fascinated by a stranger who looks and smells like family. 

The twins were too young to remember her from the last time she visited.

"I'd say 'demon' is more accurate, except I know some actual demons who are better behaved," Julian says, taking her back from Sasha and handing her off to Dane, who pops her in the play-pen with her brother. 

Martin Hunter laughs. 

"If you think two wolf-children are a handful, try four. Travis keeps joking about getting 'fixed' but I think he's half serious. I don't know how Mom and Dad managed..." he trails off and clears his throat. 

"Anyway, I can't imagine eight."

"Neither can I," Julian agrees. 

"Two are quite enough for me. I don't know what I'd do if we didn't have Monty to lend a hand now and then."

Julian casts Monty a smile and he shifts his weight awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck.

"And Monty..." Sasha exclaims, playfully whacking his arm with the back of her hand and grinning at Kit. 

"When were you gonna tell me you'd found someone, Mister 'I'm a lone Wolf'? How'd you two meet, anyway?"

"Oh, uh..." Monty hesitates, unsure how to answer without either lying or telling the truth.

To his surprise, Dane answers for him.

"He's a client, Sasha, not his Mate. Monty's protecting him."

"Oh." 

Sasha's eyes go wide. 

"But then..." 

She frowns as if perplexed by something and glances between Monty and Kit. 

"I could have sworn..."

"We'll explain later," Dane says tersely. 

"After we've found Mom and Dad, one way or another."

Sasha nods, her expression clouding with grief once more. 

The babies had provided a momentary and welcome distraction but their business couldn't be put off any longer.

"Alright. Let me get that coffee and milk and we'll start." 

She retreats to the kitchen and Julian follows to help, carrying Luna and Luca's little cartoon-covered sippy cups. 

The rest of them find seats on the dark leather sofas and chairs. 

Jake Nash takes a chair, Martin and Freya Hunter sit on the smaller couch and Dane and Monty Hunter take the larger sofa, leaving a space for Julian Hart when he returns. 

They keep the talk light while they wait, catching up with each other and asking after those who couldn't be here on short notice.

"Ingrid wanted to come," Freya says 

"But she had a big performance with her quartet in New York. 

Monty told her to stay focused on that, for the moment. 

“Too many of us will just make this harder and missing that performance could ruin her career."

Dane nods. 

"What about Travis? He couldn't make it?"

Martin shoots him a look. 

"Chiaki's due in a week. She doesn't want to travel and he doesn't want to leave her, obviously."

Chiaki is Travis's mate and heavily pregnant with their second set of twins.

"Where's Noah, anyway?" Martin asks with a slight accusation in his tone that makes Monty frown. 

Though Travis, Martin and Noah are triplets, Travis and Martin have always been closer with each other than they have with Noah. 

After making Noah the butt of one too many practical jokes in high school, they'd had a falling out and drifted further apart over the years.

"He stayed back to guard my territory," Dane says and Martin's brows pinch. 

"But won't you be moving here anyway, if...?"

"Let's not speculate on what we don't know," Dane growls. 

"In fact, let's start by sharing what we do know, shall we?"

Jake Nash nods in agreement, businesslike and official and Dane seems to take this as a sign from a kindred spirit. 

If he actually starts off on good terms with one of his siblings' mates, though, it'll be a first. Sasha and Julian rejoin them, Julian bringing the sippy cups filled with warm milk to Luna and Luca and Sasha setting a tray of coffee, mugs, cream and sugar on the low table between us all. 

Everyone who wants a dose of caffeine serves themselves and then Dane settles back and focuses on Jake.

"So. What happened?"

Jake rests an ankle across the opposite knee.

"Actually, I think Sasha should start. She was the first eyewitness on the scene. You wanna tell 'em, Hun?"

Sasha twists her coffee mug between her hands, her even brows pinched and the corners of her lips dipped in a frown. 

Her legs are tucked up beside her on the chair and even though it's a warm day, she wears a thin sweater wrapped about herself.

"Can't they just read the report I gave?" she asks.

Jake Nash shakes his head. 

"It's best to hear it right from the source, Sweetheart. Go on... take your time."

Sasha sighs and leans forward to set her coffee mug down.

"Alright. Well, it was two days ago now. I'd been over there, helping Mom put up a new shelf the day before and everything was fine. They were... fine." 

She sniffs and shuts her eyes. 

Jake gets up and comes back with a box of tissues, patting her shoulder as he sets it beside her chair. 

She glances up and gives him a watery smile before continuing.

"Anyway, next morning around breakfast time, eight o’clock or so, I realized I left my favorite sweater over there. Dad had mentioned he was going into town around ten, so I texted him and asked him to drop it over on his way out. He didn't reply, but that wasn't unusual. Then ten o'clock came and went and he never showed. I figured he'd changed his mind about town. I tried Mom, next. She had a book club at noon, lunch with some friends but she didn't reply either and that was strange. You know how she is."

All the Hunter siblings nod. 

Nobody texts Mrs Hunter unless they're prepared for a long, rambling back and forth involving lots of emojis and pictures of things they don't necessarily care about.

"I tried Dad again, tried calling him and Mom and when neither answered, I decided to head on over myself, get my sweater, and scold them for not paying attention to their phones. Because what if it was an emergency? What if... " 

She cut herself off, covering her mouth with her hand. 

They wait and after taking a shuddering breath, she goes on.

"When I got there, I couldn't understand what I was seeing. The house was... just gone. It made no sense and it was like... a nightmare, or a hallucination. I got out and walked towards it and... Well, I guess I passed out from shock. When I woke up, I called 911."

"How close did you get?" Dane asks. 

"Can you describe the scene?"

Sasha glances up at him, her eyes shining with tears. 

"It's not a scene, Dane," she whispers. 

"It's our parents."

"And I intend to find out exactly what happened to them," Dane snaps. 

"To do that, I need every piece of information you can give."

Julian lays his hand over Dane's, shooting him a warning glance but Jake Nash once again takes Dane's side. 

He shifts in his seat, leaning forward to touch Sasha's knee.

"Dane's right, Sweetheart," he says. 

"We gotta treat this as objectively as we can. The, er, 'normal' authorities don't seem too keen to pursue it... beyond writing it off as a tragic accident, I mean."

"You don't think it was?" Dane asks, his amber gaze locked on Jake Nash and the other man shrugs. 

"I may not have known your parents long but I know they weren't some old, feeble folk liable to sleep through something like an accidental fire. They were fierce. They were Wolves."

"Are Wolves," Freya corrects sharply, eyeing Jake with unmistakable dislike. 

"They are Wolves."

He casts her a pitying look. 

"Let us pray so."

She narrows her eyes at him and crosses her arms over her chest and Monty makes a mental note to asks her for the scoop on Jake Nash, when he has a chance. 

An outburst of tiny growls breaks in upon our attention. Monty turns to see that, having finished her own, Luna has taken Luca's sippy cup, an act of aggression that has sparked a minor war. 

Julian rolls his eyes and gets up to deal with it. 

Dane rubs his hands over his thighs and pushes himself to his feet.

"Right. Well, let's finish this at the site. I want to see it for myself."

                                                      ~ ☾ ~

Julian stays behind with Sasha to look after the twins and keep her company, while Dane, Freya, Jake, Kit and Monty head out again. 

Freya rides with us, calling 'shotgun' and Monty drives, which leaves Dane and Kit together in the back, each looking out their respective windows. 

Martin goes with Jake, who climbs into a shiny new Ford Explorer and leads the way, though it's not as if they don't know where their own parents live. 

Or lived.

"You don't like him," Monty states, nodding at the tailgate of Jake's vehicle through his windshield. 

"Why not?"

Freya shrugs. 

"Dunno. Just don't."

Dane leans forward from the back seat. 

"Did he disrespect you? 'Cause if he did, Sasha's Mate or not, I'll..."

"No, he didn't," Freya interrupts, waving him off and then she sighs. 

"It's just his polite, 'good-guy cowboy' attitude, I guess. Rubs my fur the wrong way, if you know what I mean. Darius would..." 

She bites her lip and goes quiet.

"Where is that voodoo blood-sucker, anyway?" Monty asks, thinking to make her laugh but she flinches and turns a little further away.

"Who knows?" She shrugs again. 

"We're not... working together... at the moment."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

She waves a hand at her brother. 

"Nah. He can do what he wants. Anyway, I got bigger things to worry about."

Monty meets Dane's eyes in the rear view mirror and sees his protective instinct reflected there. 

Having been born in a body that didn't match who she was inside, Freya's had her share of challenges over the years but she always perseveres with strength, courage and grace. 

Anything that gets her down immediately gets their collective hackles up. 

On the other hand, they've learned when to respect her boundaries and when to push and this seems like 'boundary-respecting territory' at least to Monty. 

Dane seems to agree and settles back in his seat.

"When did you get here, anyway?"

"I was here already," she says. 

"I stopped over for the night on my way up to Edmonton, in Alberta, for a job. I got in late, slept outside as a Wolf. Woke up to... a nightmare."

"A job?" Dane asks. "On your own?"

"Can we focus on Mom and Dad?" Freya snaps. 

"You can worry about me later."

Dane is silent a moment.

"You said you got in late. Did you notice anything unusual on the ride in?"

Freya brushes her long curls away from her face and relays her statement with military precision.

"No. I arrived between oh-four-hundred and oh-four-thirty. I was expected but the house was dark and I didn't want to disturb anyone so early. So, I parked my bike, Shifted, found a nice comfy clump of grass and went to sleep. The sirens woke me. I shed my Wolf, got dressed and saw the time was a little after noon. I'd slept much longer than I meant to, tired from the long ride, I guess."

She shrugs.

"I got on my bike and followed the sounds and... Well, see for yourself."

She nods ahead of them and they arrive at a scene of horror. 

The house they grew up in is gone. 

Monty had imagined a burned ruin, a blackened skeleton of wall and roof but there's nothing but a rectangular patch of flat, grey ash. 

Burned to the ground, literally. 

The surrounding land is nearly untouched.  

A tree only a few meters away stands with green leaves, hardly seared. 

Monty knows that's how it is sometimes, with house fires but it seems impossible. 

How could something burn so hot to turn metal appliances to ash and yet a stone's throw away... 

Dane reaches forward from the back seat to grasp Monty’s arm and startles him.

"Come on," he says. 

"Let's check this out."

                                                        ~ ☾ ~

Dane and Freya Shift, taking their Wolf forms, they're the best trackers among them, with the keenest senses as Wolves. 

To Monty’s surprise, Kit slips away from him and joins them, taking the form of a large white fox, single tailed, which the untrained eye might easily mistake for a small, gracile wolf. 

Jake, Martin and Monty keep their human forms... 

He may have the advantage in size and strength but when it comes to things like this, he thinks clearest as a man. 

Dane and Freya roam back and forth like particularly motivated cadaver dogs, while Kit zips along in a zig-zag pattern, roaming near and far. Meanwhile, Jake gives us a tour of the site with the official air of a chief inspector, pointing out the evidence. 

He explains the potential heat of a house fire, as well as several probable causes of such, neglected candles, portable heaters, electrical failures and how each could happen to the best of them.

"As for the human or the Wolf body..." 

He scoops up a handful of ash where he kneels. 

"At these temperatures, and with the natural winds created by a fire..." 

He shakes his head, his face hidden in the shadow of his wide-brimmed hat and dusts the ash from his hand. 

Dane and Freya approach as he speaks, in human form and clothed once more and then he shakes his head. 

"This place burned hot and fast," he says. 

"All I smell is ash."

Freya nods, frowning unhappily. 

She's pulled her cascade of long, gold-tipped curls into a loose ponytail and wears a brown leather jacket over fitted jeans.

"Me too," she admits. 

"There's nothing here."

"But that's good though, right?" Monty says. 

"That means maybe Mom and Dad..."

"I've been over this place a dozen times," Jake Nash says, kneeling by a twisted clump of metal and turning it over with a stick. 

"As a Wolf and as a man and I ain't found hide nor hair of your parents. On the other hand, if they'd escaped... Well, surely they'd'a made an appearance by now. I'm sorry, Montreal," he says, looking up at him and squinting against the bright midday sun. 

"but with a fire this hot, the fact is..." he shakes his head. 

"I'd be surprised if there's anything left."

As he speaks, Kit approaches, padding up on long, delicate limbs, his little black nose close to the ground and his ears flat against his head. 

He Shifts before their eyes, apparently unashamed of his human nakedness and stumbles towards Monty and into his arms who catches him, feeling him shiver against his chest. 

Shrugging out of his over-shirt, Monty wraps it around Kit, having no idea where he had left his clothes.

"Kit? What is it?"

He looks up at Monty, hugging the shirt around himself like a blanket.

"They're not here," he whispers, his black eyes wide and dark.

"We know," Monty says.

  "Jake says the fire... "

"No, I mean, they were here," Kit interrupts. 

"They were here and something bad happened. And now... now they're not here."

"Yeah," Monty says, feeling a sharp blade of grief twist his heart. 

"Yeah, Kit. Now they're not."

"No." Kit clutches at Monty and presses himself close, desperate for him to understand. 

"I mean they are not here at all."

Monty squints at Kit. 

"You mean..."

"Not as ash and not as bone," Kit shakes his head. 

"Somewhere else."

[dizzyatmosphere]

4 July 2024

I keep thinking about what I might be missing by being with L. He doesn't treat me like a person with feelings. I feel utterly stripped by him.

But I keep thinking that life has reached a crossroad—there's someone else who has been there longer, who has always kind of been there. But who I haven't been able to see since moving away.

It's G. We started as strangers in a seminar room eight years ago. I didn't even see him, I just heard his voice when he asked the guest speaker a question. And I thought, wow, what a unique voice. Who is this person? And then time passed and he would sit with me at events. We shared handouts (my hand was a little shaky, nervous). Went for coffee in the evening. Worked together. Small things. Bigger things. More interactions. And then L showed an interest and I was so eager to be in a relationship, that I went for it.

Covid. Nothing. Then G emailed, and we had Zoom meetings together in the summer. These ended after the-worst-thing happened and I spiralled into depression again. A wisp gone, evaportated.

A year and a half later: a redirected reunion via email. Hello. Signing his name with "yours". Calling me "cara", Dear. Weekly meetings, and twice a week in the summer, for the last year and a half. Asking for my address. Sending me a postcard from abroad, with an image that perfectly matched me and what I love. Sending me a photo of himself. Sending me hearts on my facebook posts, private messages. Wanting to melt into him. The thoughtfulness somewhat jarring. The witty banter trying to light a spark that has long been out at whatever core is left in me. The way he pushes me to do things, yet senses when it's too much for me—and his care feels like a blanket, or invisible hand. I won't get hurt, I can tell. He invited me to his home a while ago; I said I couldn't.

He planned to visit me last month. He wanted to stay here with me, but of course there wasn't much I could do. I don't know where the boundaries are—how he really thinks of me. It would have been easy to find out if I was living alone, with this space feeling like my own. Decorated how I would want it—not with the boxes and piles of collected "freebies" that L keeps. My home is just his storage container. Plastic cups and cords piled high in the corner. Spare fridges. Nothing like the home I had when I lived alone, with my candles, art, books, soft blankets.

What surprised me is that G was coming here only for me. Or at least, that's how it seemed.

He didn't end up visiting—I don't really know why. A much delayed flight, maybe something I didn't pick up on. But just the other day, he said he plans to visit again in a month. How different life could be if I ended things with L, who makes me cry most nights and doesn't come to bed until 3 or 4am. If I ended things with him, and could just enjoy myself. Be around someone who actually sees me and finds talking to me interesting, who makes my heart feel something. Even if it didn't turn into anything, just to be single and feel that excitement of two likeminded people getting to know each other. To be able to interact with someone without the entire burden and weight of my relationship draining the light out of me. To find air and kindness. Laughter—we make each other laugh breathlessly sometimes... how is that possible for two people?

He shared riddles with me posted in the english department—he still walks through my old department on the way to the bus. We celebrate his dog's birthday. He told our zoom group that one of the best things that happened to him that week was talking to me about birds.

I imagine a Saturday morning, waking up in a clean home and cooking veggies. With him. He like veggies, and I like veggies. I imagine going for autumn walks with him, and watching netflix at night. Small, silly joys. I imagine hearing him talk about his research. I imagine talking about mine. I imagine him teasing me—not criticizing me and stripping me apart, but because he cherishes the closeness that made teasing possible. Out of comfort and belonging.

Maybe it's all made up in my head—but it does seem incredible to me that we've become so involved with each other after that day in the seminar room. On my lowest days, like today, it's these moments that keep me here. Remembering that I am not totally alone, not totally worthless. Maybe at least a few people think I'm worth being around.

[casspurrjoybell-27]

Moving Forward - Chapter 21

*Warning Adult Content*

Family

A strange lull followed, Max wanted to speak, to tell his father what Kyle meant to him but Blake was a little irritating when it came to who Max was with, especially seeing as he'd never bothered to hide his disapproval of Luke.

Max could feel Kyle's eyes following him, watching him.

Those bottomless brown eyes that were as inviting as clear shallow pools.

Flecks of gold swam in and out of existence in those eyes, his golden-eyed wolf.

Blake sighed with a slight smile curling on his lips.

"I know you two are together."

That made Max pause.

"I got here when you two were sleeping," Blake shrugged.

"I'd planned on jumping you but that probably wouldn't have gone down well with Kyle, with us being strangers and all."

Max grunted.

"Well thank fuck for that."

That earned a thwop up the backside of his head and Kyle sniggered.

Blake switched to Portuguese.

"What is he?"

"He's a wolf, no need for secrecy," Max assured his father.

"Ah, Thiago, lindinho," Blake whined, throwing his around Max, who refused to blush at the pet name.

Sure, Kyle didn't know what it meant but Max sure did.

"Thiago?" Kyle asked and Blake snorted, ruffling Max's hair.

"This one didn't tell you?"

Kyle shook his head.

"It's his first name," Blake answered.

"Thiago Maximiliano Waters. His mother named him but Max is what he's gone by ever since we moved to England when he was just little."

Max groaned.

"So how did Max end up in New York?"

"Just end my suffering," Max hissed.

Blake continued on as if he'd not said anything.

"Well, we moved when Max was fifteen, to California, mind you. Max ended up with Luke," heavy amounts of distaste dripped from Blake's tone.

"And then they moved to New York together when they were nineteen."

Yeah, Max had always known that his dad didn't much care for Luke.

Didn't matter now though.

All that mattered now was Blake's opinion of Kyle.

Not that it would change anything, apart from how often Blake would be coming to visit.

Kyle nodded.

"I can't say I'm fond of Luke but without him Max wouldn't be here, so I'm a little grateful," he grunted.

"But don't get me wrong, if he comes around here, blood will be spilt."

Blake was silent for a moment and then pounced right back on top of Max.

"Lindinho, I like this one. I hope you stay together for a long time."

Those bottomless eyes met Max's own, both remembering the week that Kyle had assumed Max needed space and if Kyle were anyone else, he would've been right but he wasn't and Max was already rejecting the idea of that ever happening again.

Nobody mentioned that to Blake, though.

"How long are you here for?" Max asked instead.

Releasing his son, Blake got to his feet.

"Only a couple of days. I'm meeting your sisters in Canada after this. Tea?"

Max nodded.

Kyle didn't even need to ask the question out loud before Max was answering.

"I have four half-sisters," he said, watching as his father put on the kettle.

"Three half-brothers, two step-moms and a step-dad. On my dad's side, that is," he added.

It was mostly due to his father's polygamy but thankfully lion shifters mated permanently and Max wasn't likely to gain or lose, step-parents at this point.

Growing up, it had been a little difficult.

Blake split up with his mom soon after moving to England and his half siblings arrived soon after.

Being a jaguar shifter, Max had never really enjoyed being part of a pride of lions but that just meant he'd quickly learned how to disappear without them noticing.

Not that it was a bad childhood, having five parents instead of two meant he had a huge support system and he'd always enjoyed his status as the oldest brother.

He was just too introverted to hang around all of them at once and with remembering all that, Max had to wonder how he'd make being part of a pack work.

Kyle was a pack animal, Max was not, sure, he could just sneak off every once in a while but that time away from Kyle would be difficult, probably.

At this point it was just a theory and on hearing Kyle talk to his dad like they already knew each, Max wanted nothing more than to do his best work it out.

To make his difficulties with big groups easier on Kyle.

"Why Canada?" Max asked.

"There's nothing to do there in summer."

"Ah, well Kayla wants to explore Ontario, Hannah and Thea want the chance to spend my money and Farrah is just along for the journey," Blake explained, the 'a' endings weren't lost on Max or Kyle, going by the amused expression he wore.

"Derrick might join us but it really depends on if he can get away from work, Derrick is one of my mates," he tacked on for Kyle's benefit.

"Big family," Kyle chuckled and Max groaned.

"Yep."

"I feel you, Kitten," Kyle grinned.

"I have my own share of uncles and cousins who live in close proximity. You'll most likely meet them at some point."

Silently, Max prayed that if he had to meet them, it would be one by one.

If it was in a setting like festival at the beginning of June, there would be no choice but to run and hope he could escape the wolves that would come after him.

"Sure," Max managed.

Both Kyle and Blake laughed at his reluctance but Max was mostly just glad that Kyle didn't seem offended by it.

That he accepted that Max was a 'mostly' solitary creature and the idea of large groups didn't appeal to him and so he offered Kyle a small, weak smile to show his appreciation.

"So," Blake jumped in on the quiet moment.

"Got anything interesting in this town?"

Kyle cocked his head, thinking.

"Not too interesting. In the next town over, there's a cinema or paintballing but if you really want to stay in Evergree'..."

Max still wasn't sure if there an 'n' on the end of Evergree'.

"We could always go hang out at the lake. It's nice this time of year."

"How's your PTSD?" Blake asked.

"Paintballing is a no," Max answered.

"And so are the majority of action movies."

"PTSD?" Kyle prompted.

'Ah. Right.'

Max had yet to explain to Kyle about his inability to deal with fireworks or most other mildly threatening situations.

"I'm a marine," Max shrugged, trying his best to play it off as if were nothing.

"We get PTSD."

Kyle's eyes widened.

"So... fighting those rouges?"

"I um..." Max's face flushed with shame.

"I got a little dizzy and almost fell out of a tree."

"But you were amazing," Kyle sounded more than a little confused.

With nod, Max stared at the table.

"I always am but it was just a little dizzy spell, I'm fine, no flash backs."

Blake growled.

"Reckless child. You've only been back for six months and you're already putting yourself back in harms way. What happens if you start getting flashbacks, huh? Panic attacks? You're lethal, Thiago," he huffed angrily.

"You'd not only hurt yourself, you could hurt the people around you," and with that angry tirade over, Blake stood up without warning to strode out of the house and pace the back garden.

Max's forehead dropped to coffee table.

"Fuck."

[joongernaut]

coulds i request a jeno smut or fluffy fic where he sees his normally moderately dressed friend in a delicate (read: skimpy) bikini for the first time? 🙊🙊❤️‍🔥 maybe they’re on a beach, pool party, or mc is just trying on clothes. IF IT INSPIRES YOU OFC💕 i love your characterization of jeno sooo much so he is the first person that came to my mind😫🌸

pairing: reader x lee jeno

genre/warnings: smut, fluff, a little angst, negative body talk, reader being a little insecure, fingering (in a somewhat public setting), jeno being a great bestie ❤️

word count: 2.2k

A/N: hi anon and sorry for the wait 🫡 idk how many times i came back to tweak this A LOT OF TIMES but finally i have it done! sorry also if it's kinda drawn out but i still hope you like ittt

a rapid knock at the door of the dressing room you occupied snapped you out of your thoughts as you jumped at the sudden sound. “y/n? you okay in there?�� jeno asked, voiced laced in concern that made you feel guilty for making him wait so long.

you had invited him along with you on your shopping trip as your friend group had planned to go to the beach the next day. everyone was free from work and from school so what better way to spend it than with each other when the sun was out and blazing?

it sounded perfect to you at first. spending the day with your friends and having a good time while cooling down to beat the weather, no thoughts about work or school or anything of that nature. but when you took a look in your closet to see the bathing suit options you had currently, you knew you were in need of a shopping trip for a new set. unfortunately, as of right now as you took another look at yourself in the mirror, the search was not going too well.

“i’m fine.” you retorted to him through the door with a heavy sigh, twisting and turning your body in the reflection as you picked apart every single thing that you didn't like about the swimsuit and your body. it wasn't your usual style of staying (mostly) covered like your old one piece suits but you thought that something new, albeit slightly skimpier, would look nice on you, too.

that only proved to be harder the longer you looked into the mirror and the more those negative thoughts came to mind the more you felt a weight forming at the pit of your stomach filled with anxiety and discouragement.

jeno could hear it in your voice. he knew you for far too long and he could tell that something was wrong just from the sound of your voice. he felt the immediate urge to console you and help with whatever the problem was. you weren’t best friends for nothing.

“can i come in?” he asked as he rubbed at the back of his neck half expecting to hear some sort of refusal. but much to jeno’s surprise, the door cracked open only a few seconds later without a word from you and he did a quick look around him before he quickly slipped in and locked the door.

“i think i wanna skip out on tomorrow.” you said with a huff, breaking him from his gaze as he eyes quickly darted back to your face adorning a small frown. “how come? i thought you were looking forward to this?” he questioned, mirroring your crossed arms as he looked into your eyes. you averted your gaze towards the floor. “nothing looks right on me. my body isn’t beach ready...” you said barely above a whisper, chewing at your bottom lip as you hugged your body tighter.

jeno wanted to say that was absolutely ridiculous, that you were being silly. but he knew that's not what you needed to hear. it didn't entirely matter how he felt, it was about how you felt and what he said in this moment could either help or worsen things.

he stepped behind you with a sigh, wrapping his arms around your waist in a hug as his chin rested on your shoulder. you were no stranger to jeno’s affection and, even in your near naked state, you felt yourself lean into the warm contact of his chest against your nearly bare back. “i think your body is very beach ready, actually. not because of how you look in it but for the simple fact that you said you wanted to go.” he said with a smile, squeezing at your sides. “as soon as you put this on, your body is beach ready. it’s just a bonus that you also happen to look very sexy in it but you look sexy all the time to me.” he said, the words rolling off of his tongue so smoothly that it caught you off guard.

“sexy?” you repeated, your face slightly warming up as he let out a chuckle. “don’t believe me? just look at yourself.” jeno said as he grabbed a hold of your wrists gently and brought them down to your sides. “you’re fucking beautiful, y/n…really.” he sighed against your neck causing a shiver to take your body.

“you have to say stuff like that… you’re my best friend.” you let out a nervous laugh, attempting to move your hands to cover yourself up again but jeno’s grip wouldn't falter. instead he pressed his mouth against your bare shoulder, giving it a lazy kiss as his eyes locked onto yours in the mirror with a mix of emotions.

“what can i do to make you see yourself through my eyes?” jeno mumbled against your skin. “what can i do to make you feel beautiful?” he pressed another kiss to the side of your neck, your breath catching in your throat as you held it. you felt frozen in place as you watched him bring his hand up to turn your face towards his and his lips were now only a hair away from brushing against yours. “you okay with this?” he whispered, only a hint of nervousness in his tone as he licked at his bottom lip. your eyes flickered from his tongue poking out against the plush of his lips back up to his eyes before giving him a small nod.

and in the blink of an eye his lips were against yours in a soft, slightly wet kiss. it seemed shy at first as jeno pulled you in closer to his body and then quickly took a turn once he pressed his lips harder against yours eliciting a small sound from you. that seemed to flip a switch inside of him and he got more bold with his ministrations as his tongue slipped into your mouth and his roaming hands touched on every part of your bare skin that wasn't covered by your swimsuit. with every caress and grope of his hands you got needier and maybe a little frustrated because he had touched you everywhere but the place you were aching at the most.

to emphasize just how needy you were, you decided to wordlessly press against his crotch with the swell of your ass and jeno let out a low grunt in response. “really? you wanna do this here?” he questioned with a quirk of his eyebrow and you nearly forgot that you were, in fact, standing in the middle of a dressing room in a not so empty store located your local shopping outlet.

you started to stutter, ready to protest and tell him no and that you could wait until you got dressed again and left the store altogether. but suddenly he had his hand covering your mouth and the other hand trailing down your stomach as he leaned down to whisper in your ear. “i don't mind. but you have to be really quiet or we might get caught.”

the task sounded simple enough but it proved to be quite difficult once jeno fully cupped your sex through your swim suit bottoms without much of a warning. a mewl rumbled in the back of your throat as you held back a moan and he quickly shushed you, hand clamping down on your mouth a bit tighter, as he started to pull the material to the side.

you inhaled sharply through your nose at the cool air against your pussy and with a quick glide of jeno’s fingers through your folds your knees nearly buckled. “i got you sweetheart, don't worry.” he mumbled low as his middle finger rubbed over clit, making you whimper.

it was as if your senses were all too aware of how ‘public’ this situation was but you could barely think with the hand that was currently between your legs.

“are you usually this wet?” jeno chuckled lightly as the finger teasing your clit glided down through your folds again, the digit shallowly prodding at your hole. you whined into his palm, hips moving back and forth instinctively to chase after the sensation. once he sank one finger inside slowly, cursing under his breath at the warmth and tightness of your pussy, he proceeded to put in a second finger. and then a third.

you were thankful that his hand had been covering your mouth still as his thick fingers fucked you, twisting and turning and scissoring. the muffled moan that ripped from your throat would have probably been heard from on the other side of the store if it weren't for jeno.

his fingers were moving at a moderate pace, maybe a bit too slow for your liking as you felt the heat rise up in the pit of your stomach slowly but surely. it didn't help with how deep they were going inside of you and when his fingers brushed along that spot along your walls, your legs attempted to clamp together with his hand blocking the way.

“feel good? i can feel you clenching… fuck.” jeno breathed out, cock twitching when he felt you tightening around all of his fingers. “do me a favor, baby,” he started as his fingers stilled, a loud whine emitting from your still covered mouth as he pressed down harder to get you to quiet down. “look at yourself in the mirror for me.” he commanded as he tapped your cheek with his finger lightly.

your eyes were nearly closed but you used whatever strength you had to pry them open while taking a look at yourself in the reflection. at that moment, jeno’s fingers resumed their thrusting but at a quicker pace as your arousal helped him glide along your walls with much ease and your head drooped to the side as you let out a moan.

“ah, ah, ah. i said look.” jeno said against your ear, removing his hand from your mouth to squeeze your cheeks instead and directing your attention back to the reflection. you look practically pornographic, bathing suit top falling off your shoulders and nearly exposing your breasts while your bottoms were pulled even more to the side to make room for jeno’s fingers filling you.

after you gave yourself a once over your eyes met jeno’s darkened ones and the look he gave you, filled with lust and maybe a flicker of adoration, made your body tremble. “such a pretty girl,” he mumbled as his palm pressed up against your clit, heightening the pleasure of his fingers fucking you impossibly deep and at a much quicker pace now. “with this pretty pussy of yours… so wet for me. so fucking tight.” he groaned and you grasped at his arm tightly while biting at your bottom lip hard. “jen, i’m gonna-” you choked out and jeno already knew what was coming as his movements became more frantic.

“watch yourself cum.” he told you, palm insistently pressing and rubbing against your clit with each thrust of his fingers. the noise from how wet you were resounding inside of the dressing room along with his heavy panting and your moaning could be heard by any listening ear passing by for a mere second. and yet you couldn't seem to care in the moment, not with you being right on the brink of release.

one more deep thrust deliberately stroking against that spot inside of you and you gasped, cumming hard around jeno’s fingers. you shook and squirmed in his grasp as he helped you ride out your orgasm while making sure your eyes stayed locked on the mirror before the two of you.

jeno slid his fingers from your pussy once you finally came down, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you steady, before putting the digits into his mouth to suck the remnants of your cum off of them. the sight made you clench involuntarily.

“feel better?” jeno asked with a soft smile and you let out a huff of air in mild disbelief. as if he didn't just finger you into oblivion in a dressing room in a half empty store. “i guess...” you said with a incredulous laugh. “you guess? do i need to make you feel even better?” he questioned with a raise of his eyebrow and you couldn’t help the heat rising to your face. “n-not here just- let me get dressed! i’ll buy the swimsuit.” you said, adjusting yourself as you pushed at his shoulder.

jeno chuckled as he let you push him towards the door. “so, that means we can do that anywhere but here again? got it.” he said with a bite of his lip as his hand reached out for the door handle. “oh, and don't worry about the swimsuit. i’ll buy it for you. think of it as a gift for you- and me.” he added, eyes sizing you up slowly. “i’ll be waiting out there for you, beautiful.” he said before slipping out and letting the door shut behind him, leaving you with your mind racing and your core aching with the reminder of what just happened.

maybe this shopping trip wasn't a complete waste after all.

[sukunasbabymama]

No feelings attachment.

⌗ Pairing: Hanma Shuji.

⌗ Word count: 2,6k.

⌗ WARNINGS: Cursing, suggestive in excess (still not explicit smut but be aware bc we may have different pov on that), jealous Hanma, fighting, mention of sex but not the sex cuz I can’t write it.

⌗ A/N: I’ve been having this in my mind for quite some time and even put it on the tropes headcanons. Why is specifically Hanma idk, let’s see what we get out of this.

He hates it, he hates that you decline his offer of going to your apartment because you were putting a distance between him and you for this new guy you just met.

You and Hanma have been friends with benefits for several months now. He loves your arrangement because you were pretty chill about everything.

He would come to your house late at night with a bunch of snacks for when y’all finish. You would let him used you to let out his frustrations and you would use him to let out yours. Y’all would eat while talking about his gang or your job and he would go on his way. No romantic kisses, no asking to stay a little more but not being awkward either, he never feels like he's doing too much while giving you aftercare because you never look at him like he was the only man ever.

And that’s exactly his fucking problem right now, that he wasn’t the only man ever, and you were starting to let him know that.

He knows you’re starting to know a new guy and he knows you don’t play that toxic shit to just stop doing you because he says so, but he wants to, he wants you to be cliche and start telling him that you want to be in a lovely relationship and you want him to cuffed you up.

You don’t. You don’t even have his number save with a cute name, you just raise your eyebrows as a salute and keep going on your way when you see him in public. He’s tired of that.

He likes yo– scratch that, he fucking loves you, and is driving him insane that he was so cocky talking all that “careful on falling in love with me, puppy” shit all those months ago.

Look who’s in love now.

Today he decided to show up at your apartment without texting you first. A sense of pride flows through his body when he sees you in nothing but one sweatshirt he left one day on purpose, you look so good and so his at the moment.

"Oh, Hanma, is the-"

"No more Shuji from you, uh?" He says bitter, what the fuck are you doing calling him as if you were a subordinate or a stranger?

"You seem in the mood to argue, come inside because I can't fight and freeze my ass at the same time," You roll your eyes turning around.

He walks in and closed the door behind him, without missing the opportunity to look at the curve of your ass and how damn inviting your thighs look, he starts to feel the desire of marking them to make up for the month you haven’t allowed him to touch you.

He follows you to the kitchen and doesn’t stop till he put his hands on the counter on either side of your body, trapping you between him and the counter, you’re giving him your back.

“I can’t touch you now?” He asks, in the same bitter tone.

Silently you take his left hand and put it on your left boob, automatically he gives it a small squeeze and gets closer, letting you feel his whole body press on you.

“You can always touch me, Shuji,” You say in a steady voice.

“Then why have you been ignoring me for a whole month?” He gives soft kisses to your shoulder without stopping his soft squeezes on your boob. But it wasn’t intending to lead to something else, even if he was desperate to feel you, it’s not the moment.

“I wasn’t ignoring—”

“You were,”

“I wasn’t Shuji, remember that big project I wanted? My boss assigned it to me so I’ve been busy, and when I’m free you are doing your gang stuff,” Your voice is so calm and steady.

“All right, my bad,” He gives you that one. “And, what’s the name of the new fucker?”

“You had your men watching me again?” You say with a sigh.

“Again? They have never stopped, puppy,” He kisses your cheek and turns you around, he put his hands on your waist and hops you up on the counter. You put one leg on the counter and lean back on both of your hands, he takes some step back and rests his back on the counter in front of you.

The view was sinful.

You look like a fucking goddess, like his fucking goddess, his shirt on you, the way you have your legs open, letting him see the small cotton panties you had on. Because of the way you were leaning back your nipples were perked up and his mouth waters at the thought of how he was able to touch all of that.

Was? That needs to change now.

“The guy works for the company we are working with, he’s my supervisor you could say, that’s why your men saw me so much with him, but…” You say in a bored tone and he lifts his eyes from your lower body. “He asked me on a date, I said no but he kept going, so I told him that I need to talk to him”

“To reject him personally?” Hanma asks with a small smile. He’s liking this.

“Yes, tomorrow we’ll meet at a restaurant, but the last text I sent him was telling him that a cafe works better because it’s not a date and him telling me it is a date,” Hanma huff with annoyance.

He knows you are hot, please, he hasn’t stop gawking at you like a predator since you opened the door, but if you ever told him you don’t like that he would stop on the spot without questions, why is hard for other men to understand a stop sign?

“So, you’re not seeing other people,” He smiles, and you frown.

“Not yet, it’s just that I don’t mix pleasure with work, I’ll try to go to one of your clubs to—”

“No,” He walks and puts your leg down and around his waist, trapping himself between you. “You can’t see other people”

“And why is that?” You say with a smile, entertained by his sudden order.

“Because we are—”

“In an arrangement that says we are single,” He takes your hands and slides them to his chest, he leans till his forehead is touching yours.

“You never ask for more, you’re always on your line, and it’s not even about obedience, you’re not an obedient girl or something, you could dominate me just fine,” He says with a deep frown, saying out loud what he was thinking while coming to your apartment. “It’s fucking my mind up.”

“That’s pretty easy, Shuji,” You say with a sweet smile. “I don’t go out of my way just for a fuckbuddie.”

He would be lying if he says that didn’t hurt his ego, but you keep going while touching his chest and arms, he relaxed.

“You told me several times at first that it was just to let out our frustrations because you couldn’t afford to be in an established relationship and I say yes, why after agreeing would I go out of my way to ask you for dates? To take me to meet your friends? To tell you to spend the night with me? Those are serious relationship traits,” He straightens his posture and looks at you, serious.

“That’s what you want?”

“That’s a proper relationship and you didn’t propose that,” You answer back.

“I like you,”

“And I like you too, otherwise I wouldn’t let you touch me all those months—”

“I like you as in I’m in love with you, I love you,” He says seriously and your face is a whole poem.

“Are you…?”

“No, I’m not saying this to manipulate you, I came here today because I wanted you to explain to me if you were gonna leave me for the fucker and to tell you about my feelings,” He says and tries to take some step back to put some distance but you grab his belt and pull him to yourself, closer.

“I thought you said to beware of catching feelings,” You murmur with a teasing smile, and he groans.

“So you’re gonna humiliate me now?”

“I would never, just trying to see where you're coming from before I talk,” He nods.

“For some time now I keep wishing a little more, things that you do without thinking but aren’t that common, at least for us, like when you make breakfast for me if I spend the night because we went like fucking rabbits, the day I came all bloody and you not just cleaned me up but also washed all my clothes,” He sighs, he’s not nervous, just feeling uneasy with putting in words what he’s been feeling. “You did that out of the ‘friend’ in being friends with benefits and that shit fucked me up,”

“Shuji,”

“When my men told me you were having meals with a guy for three days in a row I was seeing red from jealousy, even thought about sending someone to beat him past recovery but I stopped myself because you wouldn’t like that, I, Hanma Shuji, stopped myself from recurring to violence,” He emphasizes the last part, you sigh.

“You are a gang member in a high profile gang,” You start and he lifts his eyes from your lips to your eyes, you never care about that, he frowns, and was about to say something when you start to elaborate.

“And you told me you couldn’t afford to be in an established relationship, so I made my mission to not intervene in trying to change that, if I don’t go out of my way to do romantic shit then I’m not gonna picture you in that image, that’s why I didn’t even salute you properly in public because how fucking amazing it would be to have the infamous reaper flirting with you and getting closer to you just to say hi? I couldn’t afford to get delusional over you,” You explain to him.

He put his hands on the back of your thighs and hop you up, starting to walk to your room, and smiling feeling your intense stare on his face. He lays you down and positions himself between your legs, but you laugh.

“We are not going to have sex,” He gives you the most offended face ever.

“Who says that’s what I was looking at?!” You laugh and his next words come in a curious whisper. “Why?”

“You talk all that talk but you aren’t loving me right,” He raised his eyebrows. “Next time you gonna have your way with the body you like so much is after you love me right,”

He sighs in desperation and rests his head on your chest, touching your thighs because he knows you’re always okay with caresses.

“Can we cuddle for the night, then? Can I spend the night?” He asks and moans when your nails start to scratch softly his scalp.

“Yes, baby, we can do that, can you take me to my fake date tomorrow?” He laughs and stands up so y’all could get under the blankets after he undresses to his boxers.

“Yes puppy, anything you want,” He whispered resting on your chest again and closing his eyes, relaxed.

You knew. You knew that he was going to pull one of his shits on your meeting. He drives you to the restaurant and after you were sitting down with your coworker he sits down on your left at another table, acting like he didn’t know you. You would have laughed if it wasn’t for the fact that you feel safe with him there.

“Now, don’t need to order anything, I’m going to be quick,” You say politely to your coworker. “I recall telling you more times than I can remember that I’m not interested, I told you this already.”

“But—”

“No buts, I’m asking you to respect my answer while he’s being nice, don’t push your luck,” Hanma’s is smiling like a maniac while eavesdropping, he knows you’re referring to him. “No means no”

And with that, you stand up and walk out of the restaurant.

Just when you were walking through an alleyway to get to Hanma’s car and wait for him someone pulls your hand.

“You stupid bitch, always wearing those short skirts, even now you’re wearing this dress and you’re telling me you don’t want me?” Your coworker’s grip on your wrist is tight as hell but you don’t give him the satisfaction of showing a painful face. You just wait.

“Damn, I thought you could get out of this with all your teeth,” It's all you say before he’s yanked off you with such force that he rolls on the floor.

You end your walk to Hanma’s car and lean on it, watching him punch again and again your coworker’s face.

Hanma brings him to your feet by the hair and makes him look at you.

“You really thought you could put those fucking dirty hands on this goddess? On my fucking woman?” Hanma is laughing but you know is a dangerous laugh even if this is the first time you’re seeing him in his element.

“P-please, please, I didn’t—”

“You didn’t know? Right, so you go on being a fucking creep with girls you don’t know their man or if they have a man?” Hanma punches his stomach with force.

You crouch to his side and Hanma stop so he wouldn’t hit you with his elbow by accident, you lean your forehead on his arm and look at your coworker.

“Didn’t I tell you to respect my answer while he was being nice? Now, look at you, without your front teeth,” You smile.

“Can I keep going?” Hanma asks in an entertained tone but you shake your head.

“Don’t waste your time, let’s go,”

You stand up and get inside the car, in the back. From inside you see him telling his men to take your coworker out of there and then he’s getting inside with you.

You jump on his lap, straddling him and he doesn’t waste time by opening his legs a bit so you can get comfy, but he doesn’t touch you. His hands are too bloody and the dress you’re wearing is too fucking hot for him to ruin it.

“What is it, puppy?" He murmurs and the driver started the engine.

You don’t answer, instead biting his lower lip and then kissing him, he groans and melts, letting you move however you want while kissing him. Your hands sliding through his suit however you feel like it, through his hair, then you start giving him kisses all over his face, leaving him full of prints of your lipstick, you smile while biting your lip.

“That was one odd way of showing me your love,” You say in a sultry tone and he groans again, he feels so fucking weak with your presence, your smell, the way you are watching him right now.

As if he’s the only man ever.

So, this is the difference in when you’re going out of your way, he thinks, want to see more of this.

“Le—” You interrupted him with another kiss, but this one is slow, romantic even, and he lets out a shaky sigh.

You give him a short lick on the lips and a wink with a smile and he’s almost touching you right there and then. Oh, you’re in so much trouble when he gets his hands on you.

“Let me take you on a date,” He says. “Let’s go on a sweet date right now and then–”

“Then you gonna take me home and punish me for making you wait for my body for a whole month?” God fuckin damn, he was going to say and then make it official but you–

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do,” He whispers. “Gonna fucking mess you up”

And the way you roll your hips on him let him know that’s exactly what you want.

Made a whole headcanon to say that he belongs to this trope just to end up writing the whole scenario gg.😵‍💫😮‍💨