#and isn't at all how i wanted it to be | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tawaifeddiediaz · 9 months

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you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

#zee rambles #this isn't to guilt trip anyone #but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever #and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too??#we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it #now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people #but that doesn't mean its gone #that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it #honestly i just needed a lil rant #and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it #also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months

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The musical episode.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #Remember jin guangyao: If you do any treachery you will face the wrath of five horses.#When are the horses going to come into play? You'll see.#s2.ep8 had beautiful music... I listened to it on loop while drawing!#Good music to chill out to before you fly into a rage.#This episode really cements how JGY's mind works - It is a matter of long-term outcomes at the sake of nearly everything else.#Morals do not matter to him if the outcome is more favourable.#and at the center of it all - he has learned that the only person he can truly trust is himself.#In turn - the only person his actions benefit are himself.#He will do anything and everything it takes to reach a position of power - not just for the power. But because it means safety.#Because it was something he was denied and the idea of not having control in his life again is unforgivable.#'Happiness' isn't a goal. We are looking at someone still stuck at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.#Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable.#He wants to climb for the sake of climbing. He wants praise and recognition because he feels it is deserved. It's all so hollow.#We could go deeper into his psyche on this.#But these are also tags under a comic in which 'evil penis music' is the punchline.

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mienar · 1 year

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stillness in these waking hours

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#artists on tumblr #animated illustration #2d animation #backgrounds #digital art #animated gif #environment illustration #myillust #cozy #office #workspace #rain #gifs #this was inspired by how i've been having to stay up all night to get some stuff done and one day #i was just looking out the window and watched the sunrise through the grey rainy clouds c':#everything felt so quiet and still - it took a lot out of me to not animate more things in this one heh #i love how it turned out - the serene-ness and stillness of it all really captured the feeling i wanted to recreate :')#(also this isn't my irl workspace lol maybe the blinds and as usual this is just my character not me)#but i nonetheless hope you'll like this! <3 wishing you a lovely day or night ahead!

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lucabyte · 5 months

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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference #anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat act 6 spoilers #isat loop #isat siffrin #isat bonnie #isat nille #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #doodlebyte #----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but #They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good #(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit #distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally #stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur #BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule #which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation #ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.

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wasyago · 8 months

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kakashi and bull 🥺🤲

#realized that i don't actually know how to draw dogs so i wanted to practice. and who's better for that than mr dog lover kashi #(and yes i know my persona is a dog and i can't draw dogs. ironic isn't it)#i wanna make a small series of drawings of kashi and all his ninken but this is the only one i have so far. we'll see how it goes #naruto #kakashi hatake #my art #sketch #also if anyone writes 'oh haha i thought it was etho' under this -#i will find you. and i will display each of your vertebra on my wall like they do with butterflies.

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tee-dohrnii · 1 month

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This line is just so silly

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Silly Gale doodle to make me feel better about my art :")

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hey-hey-j · 1 month

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(sort of a companion piece to this)

older brother instinct

(★ my Kofi)

#my art #trolls band together #trolls fanart #trolls bruce #trolls john dory #trolls #no matter how old you both get. you never lose that ''oh shit my little sibling is CRYING'' panic.#hoooooooooooogh i have TOO MANY THOUGHTS i can't articulate AAAHHH #idk man i'm just constantly thinking about bruce's dynamic with JD as the second oldest #simultaneously wanting to support his brother while still NEEDING him ya know #i think that on some level. even after things got REALLY bad with the band...... he just wanted his brother back #grgrgrtg idk the bottom line is that all of brozone needs a good cry. and a hug. and a sincere apology from JD.#(it's VERY important to me that you notice that JD isn't actually saying the words ''i'm sorry'' here btw.....)

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

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spocks-kaathyra · 6 months

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my second born son <333

taking suggestions for who to make next!!

#isn't his little face so cute oh my god #figured out how to do hair! or at least. short hair and updos.#it involves sticking a bunch of pins in the poor baby's head though 😭😭 it feels like I'm torturing them LMAO #I AM going to make garak at some point but I don't think I could bear to part w him and rn I want to make ones for the craft swap lmao #I'm gonna give him the same outfit I cosplayed with all the little details and everything 😭😭#anyways. vry happy w little spock. I love him dearly #narcissus's echoes #narcissus plays dress up #star trek #spock #star trek tos #star trek the original series #s'chn t'gai spock

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months

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He was just being a silly little guy!

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #wen ruohan #nie mingjue #lan xichen #JGY's character is the zigging and zagging guy of all time #We love a little meow meow that can bite and scratch and kill you.#We also love a little meow meow that can mewl pathetically!#'He's evil now and torturing his former friend?" ZAG TIME: He's a spy and feels soooo awful about it!!#ZIG TIME: He (probably) didn't need to go that deep into the role and kill as many people as he did.#Something I really love about the sworn brother trio is how they reflect how our feelings distort our perception of others.#Lan Xichen represents how when we love/care about someone -anything they do can be endearing. They aren't manipulative: they are clever.#Its less about rose tinted glasses and more about reframing every look you get of them. The constant justifications you make for them.#They just need a space to be loved! “They care for me so I will stand by them no matter what to show them I'm there for them!”#While NMJ represents how when you dislike someone - Everything they do is an affront or proof of their foul character.#Everything is a sign. Everything is 'proof' they are just as awful as you want them to be. Every 'good trait' is twisted.#The problem is that most people are just human. They are flawed and they are capable of good and bad things.#Meng Yao's motivations are very complex. Yet he's extremely human all the same. He isn't the saint nor the monster of the story.

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mayasaura · 2 years

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Harrow got so unbelievablely horny dreaming about Gideon's rolled up sleeves exposing her lean, taut muscle, a little dewy with sweat and steam but you know what.... thinking about it. Gideon does not disrobe basically ever, except in private to bathe. A tantalizing glimpse of forearm may legitimately be the most Harrow's imagination has to work with

#it takes a while for Gideon to be comfortable even removing her cloak at Canaan House #and that was a much warmer enviorment than the Ninth #kind of interesting that Gideon's seen Harrow naked and there's no evidence Harrow even knows what Gideon's shoulders look like #and how that corresponds to their different levels of emotional vulnerability #harrow laid it all out on the table: all her trauma her devotion her motivations and at the end her admiration for Gideon #meanwhile Gideon says she wants one thing then directly contradicts herself woth her actions #she flashed her heart once - you know I only care about you right? - before rolling her sleeves up and dying #this isn't a criticism of Gideon #their environment has provided a lot more security and support for Harrow #which is saying something #I also suspect she Gideon naturally has the emotional self-awareness of a cheeseburger which does not help her out but anyway #just think it's interesting how they've bared such different amounts of themselves to one another #the locked tomb #gideon nav #harrow nonagesimus

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iknowicanbutwhy · 4 months

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@chipper-smol I couldn't get the thought out of my head of dragon loop flying on unfamiliar wings away from their problems because obviously that's why they have them haha ha ha

#isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #i... i think #loop isat #siffrin isat #art #fanart #kitscribbles #I HAVENT DRAWN DRAGON IN FOREVER im so sorry if i mucked your loop's anatomy fnjdvks #also imagine loop winds up right back at the tree whenever sif loops #its FINE. its WHATEVER. who wants to be up where the stars are anyway hrghrgrgrgr whats even the point #the universe gives you a substitute to take over the responsibility you feel and wings to go take a vacation somewhere else and yet #its like the universe is a sucker for irony or something haha ha #imagine sif doesnt even see loop for so much longer because theyre just out there seeing how much distance they can cover #oh hey is that an island it looks familiar *loops* stardust you LITTLE-#also i drew sif so small to begin with and then realized. little guy isn't little enough because loop is so BIG #^^^ all of this is just me being silly with ideas dont mind me

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heymacy · 6 months

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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher