#and it doesn't stop the company from using slavery. so like.

[david-watts]

I feel kinda bad about those comments I made on that one post because I was being a bit of a dick, and it was because I was tired and misunderstanding exactly why people get so mad about ‘tiktok punks’ (please just call them posers. that word already exists and means what you mean) but like. I do stand by the fact that I don’t care if people end up buying from ethically awful places since it’s not easy or affordable to avoid, and quite frankly I understand if someone’s a bit lazy about it. but that one person accusing me of thinking ‘slavery is punk’ genuinely made me realise those posts about reading comprehension on this site being godawful aren’t hyperbole

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

While I am in a process of writing next part of "If you were not alone", a small bonus.

Back in this post, I showed two of my BSD OCs. Some people wanted to knew more about this two, so, here I will put some information about them. Feel free to ask questions about them in the comments, or ignore this post.

Warning: Some heavy topics (slavery, child abuse)

Pecrew

Bertha

Ability: Doesn't have one.

Age: 17

Birthday: 20th of May

Height: 175 cm / 5' 9"

Weight: 61 kg / 134 lb

Blood type: AB

Love: Jericho

Like: Fyodor Dostoevsky, rats, Karma, Sigma

Dislike: dolphins

Hate: Her biological family and village she grew in

Youngest member of Rats in the house of the dead.

She was born in a village that was run by an ability-centric cult. They proclaimed, that ability users were above non-ability users.

So, of course, her parents, cultists, two ability users, wanted to have a child with an ability. When Bertha was born, they were sure, that she would have an ability.

Each year, the Celebration of True Powers were held, during which Cult Leader, Yevgeny Zamyatin (another of my OCs) used his ability to reveal, if newborn kids of cultists have abilities.

During one of them, it was revealed, that Bertha didn't have an ability.

For ten years her parents did everything, to destroy her self-worth. For years Bertha was sure, that "parasite without ability" was a mistake and should be grateful, that she is allowed to live. That the only reason she was allowed to stay was because her parents need someone to look after them, when they became old.

When Bertha was ten, her sister was born. And her sister had an ability.

Her parents didn't need her anymore.

So, they do what other cultist were doing, when someone in their families didn't have an ability.

Bertha's parents sold Bertha to one of Zamyatin's accomplices, so she would be forced to work in the mines.

Six months passed.

After an incident with guards in the mines, Bertha was punished by being locked in a cage. She wasn't allowed to have food or water.

After three days, she was 'saved'.

Fyodor Dostoevsky tried to get some valuable information from mines' owner. They arranged a meeting, but, the owner, gets too arrogant and tried to capture Fyodor, to have another slave (and ability user) to work in the mines. Fyodor killed the owner and, to make sure, that there were no witnesses, killed guards and slaves.

But he couldn't kill Bertha, who, at that point, was dying from dehydration and starvation. She reminds Fyodor of someone from his past. For the first time in years, Fyodor acted on his emotions, saved Bertha and took her with him.

After emotions died down, Fyodor was faced with reality. Now he has a ten-year-old girl in his lair and have no idea what to do with her.

She still reminds her of someone, so he can't kill her. He is not that heartless to throw her on streets. But, he also not suitable to be a father. But, Bertha wasn't looking the best, years of abuse and last six months didn't make her look healthy.

After some thinking, Fyodor decided to let Bertha stay until she gained some weight and became a little bit healthier. Until then, Fyodor will search for an orphanage or a family that could take her in.

So, Bertha start living with Fyodor.

Slowly, they opened up to each other. Bertha was treated as a human being for the first time in her life, and Fyodor enjoyed her company.

At the end, Fyodor decided to let Bertha stay with him forever. Bertha, who, thanks to Fyodor's views on abilities, stopped thinking about herself as a lesser being, asked Fyodor to teach her to be more like him.

Bertha start seeing Fyodor as her father figure.

Bertha wants to be strong, to prove anyone, that she isn't weak and can be strong if not stronger, then ability users.

Relationship:

Fyodor Dostoevsky - Bertha saw him as father figure. Fyodor also feels protective over Bertha.

Nikolai Gogol - A little bit complicated. Nikolai treats Bertha nicely, even calls her "his honorary niece", but he is too loud for her liking. Still, they are on a good/neutral terms.

Ivan Goncharov - his obsession with Fyodor and her freaks Bertha out. She tries to avoid him.

Alexander Pushkin - during their first meeting, he made a huge mistake, when tried to laugh at her not having an ability. Unfortunately for him, Bertha was living with Fyodor for a few years already. And she has been training. She almost hung Pushkin up, and only Fyodor's interference saved his life. Now Pushkin is horrified of Bertha.

Karma - Bertha managed to talk Fyodor down from killing Karma. Now Karma is Bertha's underling. She treats him nice and saw him as her friend. They are on friendly terms.

Sigma - her favorite member of Decay of Angels (after Fyodor, of course), Bertha wants to be friends with Sigma. She is quite familiar with the feeling of being an outcast and stranger in the own home.

Jericho - this two met on Yokohama streets one day. They start meeting more often and became friends. Slowly, they fell in love. They understand each other, because they are quite similar (both have terrible past, both are 'adopted' by geniuses with gray morals and, both have trust issues).

Jericho

Abilitiy: "Raven came to Raven" let him transform into a raven-like monster.

Age: 17

Birthday: 10th of January

Weight: 72 kg / 158 lb

Height: 183 cm / 6' 0"

Blood type: AB

Love: Bertha

Like: Dazai Osamu, Oda Sakunosuke, cats, fat tail gerbils.

Dislike: Horses

Hate: His father and Parental grandmother, collars

Young Armed Detective Agency member. Result of arranged marriage and forced pregnancy.

After his mother, who had enough of Jericho's father constant cheating and of being forsed to had a child, committed suicide, his father and parental grandmother sold Jericho to the slavers, trying to get rid of him.

Three years passed.

One day, Jericho got almost killed by other slaves. That moment his ability activated.

In a rage, he killed all other slaves. He was captured, before he can kill someone from slavers.

Jericho was put in "last week" cage. If he won't be bought in a week, he would face fate worse, then death.

Jericho was bought by Port Mafia boss. Ougai Mori bought a twelve-year-old boy as a present for an eighteen-year-old Dazai Osamu.

Initially, Dazai was neglectful. He was harsh during trainings, and Jericho was too afraid of using his ability again.

After a week of Jericho being in Dazai's possession, Oda learned about it and interfered.

With his help (after he spent few hours shouting at Dazai for owning a slave and neglecting a child), Jericho's and Dazai's relationship became more or less normal.

Jericho start doing something during his trainings. He wasn't using his ability, still afraid.

Dazai, who warmed up towards Jericho for a bit, became nervous, knowing, that Mori could organize Jericho's death, if he won't start using his ability to benefit Port Mafia.

But one day, Jericho used his ability again.

It happened three months after Jericho was given to Dazai. At that point, it was clear, that Dazai treated Jericho better, than Akutagawa. So Akutagawa decided to prove, that he is better than some slave.

Jericho protected himself.

If it wasn't for Dazai's "No Longer Human", Akutagawa and Jericho would kill each other.

Jericho was left with a shoulder pierced by Rashomon (still sore during cold weather), and Akutagawa's arm was broken by Jericho's talons (Akutagawa still had scars, after all these years).

After Oda's death, Dazai left the mafia and took Jericho with him. During two years of hiding, Dazai and Jericho learned more about each other, slowly learning to care about each other. Dazai helped Jericho get a hold on his ability and took care of him when he became seriously sick. Right before Dazai joined the ADA, he gave Jericho a choice. Jericho could either be taken in by Ango and Special Division, or continue living with Dazai and join ADA. Jericho chooses to stay with Dazai.

Relationship:

Dazai Osamu - it is a miracle, but Jericho does view Dazai as a father figure. Jericho actually believes, that Dazai isn't a bad person, despite knowing what Dazai can do. Dazai does care about Jericho and his feelings. During their hiding, Dazai gave Jericho a pair of earrings, to mask piercings, that slavers made for a price tag.

Oda Sakunosuke - Jericho misses him. Sometimes, he is dreaming about having Oda as his father.

Kunikida Doppo - Jericho is not the biggest fan of Kunikida. He doesn't like, how Kunikida treats Dazai. Jericho, thanks to his past, doesn't like idealists. He knew, how terrible some people can be.

Bertha - loves her dearly.

____

Some facts:

Dazai and Fyodor are surprisingly capable fathers. Or, at least, they knew, how to treat Bertha and Jericho and be good parents for them.

Apartment, where Dazai and Jericho were hiding were small and only had one room, small kitchen and small bathroom. And first thing Dazai do when he and Jericho escaped Port Mafia was finding a folding screen, so Jericho had some sort of own room and privacy.

Jericho keep his hair long, because slavers constantly shorn it. For Jericho his hair is a symbol of him being in control.

During her first year living with Fyodor, Bertha tried to keep two rats she found on the street without asking him first. She immediately got caught by him. Bertha almost managed to make Fyodor let her keep them, but she made a mistake by revealing, that they are wild. Fyodor immediately made her return rats to the street.

During Dazai's shroom trip in the Entrance Exam arc, he put Jericho in a blanket burrito, so 'he would become a butterfly'. Jericho wasn't against staying in a soft blanket burrito.

When, during the Entrance Exam arc, Fukuzawa and Kunikida were thinking, if Dazai can be trusted, they thought, that Jericho is either also a criminal, or was kidnapped by Dazai.

When Bertha wanted to learn, how to apply makeup, Fyodor let her practice on him.

Bertha can't handle pure black coffee. She got some interesting side effect. After she drank black coffee, she has a burst of energy and start running in circles. Then she became clingy and would hug nearest familiar person (a.k.a. Fyodor). When it happened first time, Fyodor had to work with Bertha on his back for three hours.

Fyodor and Dazai are planning to visit biological relatives of their kids. Just to talk...

[pigeonwhumps]

A look at what a BBU Tumblr dashboard might look like!

@bbu-on-the-side

CWs: BBU, pet whump, dehumanisation, everything that comes with that

🐢 turtleonhigh

As you start contemplating gifts for your loved ones, remember guys, a pet is for life, not just for Christmas! If you've never had a pet before, Domestics or Platonics are the best starter pets, but make sure to do your research thoroughly to keep your pet happy and healthy. Additionally, adopt, don't shop! There are so many pets desperately in need of loving homes. If you're insistent on purchasing from a supplier such as WRU rather than a shelter, choose refurbished. Give a pet the second chance they deserve!

🌟 thetruthinourstars

In Liberation this month: The shocking truth of WRU training away from prying eyes

🥸 bookworm420

https://www.liberation.com/20240423457899

(again. A year and a half after the first article and they're still having to expose it because no-one will listen...)

Oh come on, OP, everyone knows that's bullshit, spread by pet lib manipulators. Everyone: this is what bad actors look like!

🦀 just-a-crab

Sources?

#and before anyone leaps on me #i mean both of you #a reminder to always check where informations coming from

🍵 tea-and-pets

If prev was a pet, what would you give them as a little treat?

🐳 awhaleofatime

You guys are sick and perverted fuckers, I hope you know that

🌵 prickle

You're in the minority there mate

https://www.yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/explore/HumanPets

🐳 awhaleofatime

🌞 sunshinestarlight

Stfu and let people have their fun, dude

#if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all #pet love #srsly dude leave us alone #polls

🐭 mouseandsammy

Sammy just adores his new outfit! Look at him go!

🌞 sunshinestarlight

❤️

🪶 fansofafeather

Ew, why am I getting WRU adverts on my dash constantly? Do I look like someone who would buy a pet to you?

🦴

Yes

🪶 fansofafeather

This was originally just a vent, but since you asked so nicely...

Does it help? Does it really?

Sources:

Stats show that 42% of vulnerable young people surveyed are scared of being picked up by WRU. Furthermore, spending on welfare in the UK has decreased by 26% over the past ten years, with ministers even saying that those who need help should become pets and go where they're wanted, where their "place" is. Vulnerable people need help, not encouragement to sign their lives away, and the pet industry isn't helping with that (even if you say that it isn't WRU's fault for merely existing, their adverts aren't glowing examples of a non-manipulative company).

I could go into way more detail, about the manipulation and propaganda, and what's been associated with them over the years, the politicians in their pockets holding up legislation that would hinder sign-ups, not to mention that this is actual, literal slavery, but I'll leave it here for now. If you're actually bothered you can ask, but I get the feeling you're not anyway.

How do you see your future? | YouGov

How do you feel about the alleged forced sign-ups by WRU and similar companies? | Liberation

Fact-check: Has welfare spending increased? | BBC Verify

Secretary for Work and Pensions overheard suggesting that welfare recipients "go where they're wanted" and become pets | The Guardian

WRU adverts 2000-2024 | National Archives

👯 pet-love

Callout post

Be aware. User @/sam-the-multifandom is an active member of the pet lib community, who has engaged in targeted harassment of pet owners and supporters. Evidence is in their top posts. Block and report, and spread the word to other members of the community so we can stamp out this disgusting behaviour.

👁️ eyesonthewall

Oh ffs OP. This is your evidence? Seriously? Stop lying and go back to the hole you crawled out of.

💗 nolongeracult

Proving OP's point right there. I'm former pet lib, and I can honestly say it's the most toxic community I've ever been a part of.

🍰 twopets-twocakes

Even more than the Star Wars fandom? 😝

💗 nolongeracult

YES

#pet love #their choice #petlib is toxic #love your pet #pet for life

[northwest-cryptid]

I do honestly think it's really interesting how willing people are to look past things they dislike when it's being used/done by someone they do, but they'll still attack individuals for the same shit.

Like "AI is bad" unless it's being done by someone like Dougdoug, in which case most people are largely able to look past the idea that AI is bad, this is likely because it's being used in such a way where the AI is very obvious and open; and because it's being used for comedy. The thing is, anyone using AI has the ability to use it in this way; but the concept that "AI can be used ethically and in a fun way that doesn't hurt people" isn't considered on a larger scale. It becomes more of an "AI is bad, but if you're popular enough to get away with it; have fun."

Or "Chocolate is literally created via slave labor, buying or enjoying chocolate contributes to slavery." Unless you're that guy who makes chocolate sculptures for tiktok and shit. In which case we'll just focus on the fact you're weaving chocolate or something, and not pay any mind to the sheer amount of chocolate you're using and the fact that this likely covers more money going to the same slave labor chocolate production as like 100 individuals buying a kitkat on lunch because they want a snack. People look past all of this because the art he makes with chocolate is undeniably impressive and fun to watch.

Don't even get me started on "racism is bad, portraying minorities as stereotypes and especially making them antagonistic in media is wrong..." Unless you're Mihoyo in which case you'll find extreme success with Genshin Impact despite literally referencing Native American people for your main fodder enemies; people are willing to look past this because I guess the game is fun and the waifus are hot? I don't know man I don't play racist games.

Misogyny is wrong and sexism in the workplace, or as a cultural norm needs to be dealt with; and indie companies need to be held to the same professional standards as anyone else; but if you're ProjectMoon you get a weird pass on throwing such a shitstorm that you not only get your game momentarily boycott but you also can't handle your business connections well enough to manage not having an entire webcomic shut down. Yea WonderLab is now lost media congratulations, the whole of your shitty business dealings came to light; underpaying staff and treating third parties like garbage because "you're just a little indie company uwu" when you've been raking in the big bucks for a while now. Don't worry though because your audience is too attached to [Blorbo From My Games] to give you any real backlash that will negatively effect your company.

So like, what then? Am I saying we should demonize all these people?

Well no actually that's not the case, though I DO think you should boycott Genshin on the grounds it IS racist; and you absolutely should boycott Limbus Company until the company behind it can get their act together and stop being sexist assholes and generally a shitty company.

That being said, if you think I'm trying to attack dougdoug or the chocolate man who's name escapes me at the moment; you can't be further from my point. My point here is to stop attacking people overall; seek solutions to the problem without attacking the individuals. If you see me, as a single individual buying a kitkat on my lunch break; this is not the time to inform me that I'm somehow contributing to slavery before you go off and reblog "he's weaving chocolate!?!?!" As if that's not literally far worse than what I'm doing.

"But I CAN effect what YOU'RE doing, I can't tell him he's contributing to slavery and make him stop!" Why not?

I mean seriously why the fuck not? You understand these people are only given power by the viewers who support them right? The people who buy their products, the people who give them money.

If he can find a way of supporting businesses that don't use or profit from slave labor then great that's a fantastic change. Similar to how Dougdoug not only writes most of his own scripts but uses AI in such a way that it's ethical, it doesn't involve stealing or victims.

The take away there should be that it's possible to use these things in a way that doesn't hurt people, this is why I think it's different from companies like Mihoyo and ProjectMoon as much as taking any shots at ProjectMoon sucks as a fan of their games; I think sexism and anti-capitalism is more important than some blorbo from my games. That's why I'm not only not spending money on Limbus, but I'm not even playing; I refuse to inflate their user numbers and give them the marketability. I refuse to tell them that doing wrong doesn't have consequences.

"Yea but are you actually doing anything? Does it actually matter?" Well yes and no, yes because if I don't do anything then nothing will happen, nothing will change; nothing will get better. However no because I'm just one person, and if you've ever worked retail and heard the classic "you just lost a customer!" You know as well as I that one person on their own doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of it all when it comes to things like overall company success. However if we all keep giving these racist, sexist, and just generally scummy companies our money and time and activity to market; because "I'm just one person" then nothing is ever going to snowball into a noticeable amount of people.

Boycotts don't work unless a majority of people participate; and I'm sorry but the reason these companies make what they make is to pander to your impulse, to your attention; they prey on your weakness to not be able to break free from them.

That's WHY Genshin has so many waifus and husbandos and bullshit like that; they prey on your inability to control your emotions and thus you will continue to spend money for a chance to obtain your favorite characters and once you do you have an attachment to them; you spent god knows how much money to get them; you invested so much time in getting the currency to roll/pull/draw for them.

That's WHY Limbus Company writes the characters and content they do; because they know you're too invested now; they aren't worried about a silly boycott because they've seen it won't matter. They already know all they need to do is keep releasing more content, and you'll keep playing, you'll keep spending money on it; you'll keep getting hype for whatever comes next. It doesn't matter if you think they're a sexist company, if you think they're capitalist scum; because you're still playing their game, you're still giving them money, you're still supporting them.

This is even true of Tumblr, and it's what I always say when people bring up the fact tumblr isn't listening to anyone telling them about the whole issue of transphobia on this site.

Yea of course tumblr isn't going to listen to you, you're still here. They don't care what you say as long as you still use their site; so long as you still provide them with content, so long as you still inflate their numbers and make their site profitable. You can do whatever you want they're not going to care; if you actually make a big enough stink to make the site unmarketable they'll just precisely ban you, remove the evidence; and move on. They won't ban everyone; if they did that they wouldn't have content; they're only going to lift a finger to bring down the hammer where it absolutely must be done.

Tumblr's CEO went off site to attack a trans girl and while everyone complains about it, we're all still fucking here aren't we? So they absolutely do not care that you know, they absolutely do not care that you're talking about it. In fact god knows that if a post like this ever got super popular and my voice started to matter; I'd just be banned, I'd just be removed with surgical precision; ensuring they leave enough of you all here to keep the ecosystem alive and well so they remain profitable.

I think people point fingers and accuse and blame and throw shade way too much, I don't get on people for AI bullshit for a lot of reasons; but the biggest is that if someone is misusing AI that's the fault of the individual; the person actually doing the theft; not the AI, you don't blame a hammer for breaking a vase; you blame whoever swung it.

Tumblr is a melting pot of various people with various views on things and it's so tiresome to see these sort of half baked moral points getting thrown around "hey if you're not boycotting this you're bad and wrong and a horrible person" okay great, you're not boycotting things I think you should be though so does that make YOU a bad person? It's all fucking relative and honestly unless everyone bands together to make change it's not going to happen, so either agree on something and stick to it; band together and better the world around you; or stop attacking each other for the sins of big companies.

[ae-neon]

Reading Throne of Glass (1-3)

TW: mentions of slavery and suicide

Disclaimer;

I'm gonna be nitpicky but it won't reflect my overall enjoyment. Besides the racist Nehemia plotline (which I don't like at all) I don't mind the general vibe or story of ToG. Also because it's so popular I have been spoiled for the overall big points of the story like endgame ships and character death but I don't know anything about the world, the magic, the character personalities, histories etc

Chapter 1

I instantly prefer the 3rd person POV.

SJM loves using slavery - and like, the worst type of slavery - as trauma porn.

Notorious Assassin - are you not then just bad at your job? Why does everyone know it was you?

SJM knows how to write her protagonists being observant, it's maybe her best trait.

WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING??

If they're escorting her and trying to confuse her or even just to treat her like a prisoner - why isn't she blindfolded?? Why not put a bag over her head?? Like SHE CAN SEE WHERE SHE'S GOING?????

Okay I know Chaol is gonna be important and a love interest at some point so he has to have a serious position despite probably being 17/18 - but CAPTAIN of the royal guard?? The whole royal guard?? Be fr. Just have him be the Prince's right hand or personal knight or something.

The Captain of the Royal Guard would be an interesting opponent. Maybe even worthy of some effort on her part.

She was scared of him 5 sentences ago:

...Chaol Westfall, Captain of the Royal Guard, and suddenly, the sky loomed, the mountains pushed from behind, and even the earth swelled toward her knees. She hadn’t tasted fear in a while—hadn’t let herself taste fear.

"How lovely it was to hear a voice like her own—cool and articulate—even if he was a nasty brute!" Sorry the slaves weren't well spoken and there aren't any political prisoners to keep intellectual company with

The only thing all the intended disorientation had accomplished was to familiarize her with the building. Idiots.

Yea, I agree, they are idiots - they should have blindfolded you

Why is this big manor?hall?thing? by the slave mines? Like so close it's literally next door to where they sleep

The world building is pretty good so far

"...the opulence felt like a slap to the face." sjm don't lie

Chapter 2

close-cropped chestnut hair >>>> team Chaol already

I might consider Celaena an icon for not bowing to the Prince, if I didn't know she ends the series as queen. What a waste.

I'll probably like Dorian but his words mean nothing. If he had a problem with people being forced to bow, he would have said something earlier.

Duke Perrington came from Rifthold to see the treasurer?? The treasurer doesn't live at court? Or at least in the capital?

(Gold crown+)...black doublet, an emblazoned gold rendering of the royal wyvern occupied the entirety of the chest. His red cloak fell gracefully around him and his throne.

Dorian's first outfit eating up all of Rhysand's 3 black on black outfits.

Black hair blue eyes, he was definitely the first endgame love interest. A YA classic.

Princes are not supposed to be handsome! They’re sniveling, stupid, repulsive creatures! This one . . . this . . . How unfair of him to be royal and beautiful.

This. And some other sentences (that also end with exclamations) come off as weirdly childish in their tone and don't fit with the rest of the writing. Eg

What a miserable state for a girl of former beauty!

Like stop. The vibe is she thinks she's gonna die and she's being humiliated by her enslavers. This is off

I won't rag on SJM's writing too much because she was young and it's her first novel but this:

At a passing glance, one might think her eyes blue or gray, perhaps even green, depending on the color of her clothing. Up close, though, these warring hues were offset by the brilliant ring of gold around her pupils. But it was her golden hair that caught the attention of most, hair that still maintained a glimmer of its glory. In short, Celaena Sardothien was blessed with a handful of attractive features that compensated for the majority of average ones; and, by early adolescence, she’d discovered that with the help of cosmetics, these average features could easily match the extraordinary assets.

"But now, standing before Dorian Havilliard as little more than a gutter rat!" Girl, stfu

Acotar ellipses >>> ToG exclamations

I like Dorian and I like the story of Celaena's escape attempt. BUT. It would have been better if Dorian and Chaol had heard the story and used it as their reason to recruit her - a hectic story that proved Celaena was not only all that her reputation said but also that the mines hadn't broke her.

Then later, when they have more of a connection, have Celaena reveal it was essentially a suicide attempt.

Secret business? The Crown Prince, the Captain of the Guard, a Duke and like a dozen + royal guards isn't exactly low profile. In fact, it's the highest fucking profile, Sarah

Chapter 3

Dorian 🤝 Cassian; ogling starved women's bodies.

"My father has gotten it into his head that he needs a Champion." Even Celaena knows the Champion is supposed to be a knight or a lord or a holy warrior or something, not an assassin and definitely not an enemy of the crown. If you need an assassin just hire her as one

No one gets hired in an sjm book without being offered a "considerable salary" I think she doesn't understand much about money irl

She barely heard his last few words. A competition! Against some nobody men from the-gods-knew-where! And assassins! “What other assassins?” she demanded.

“None that I’ve heard of. None as famous as you...

The exclamations... Also those assassins are better by simple virtue of not being famous

They're acting like she's weakened but honestly shouldn't she be absolutely shredded? Shouldn't her arm strength be crazy from a year in a mine?

...but could only recall a solitary line from the mournful bellowing of the Eyllwe work songs, deep and slow like honey poured from a jar: “And go home at last . . .”

SJM is actually so vile because I know this isn't gonna really matter in a way that centres these enslaved people.

-

Overall not bad. I like these 3 characters and I much prefer 3rd person POV.

Celaena is a little erratic in her moods and thoughts but whatever.

Some nice hints of worldbuilding but also standard "sjm doesn't really understand the concept she's included"

[gothicemoowl]

Push: Chapter 1: Prologue

Summary:

(Bought and paid for Rewrite with NottaMoxxie and Geez43)

Alternate universe where Blitzø was forced to be a slave for the Goetia family as a punishment for stealing.

Years later Stolas misses his friend Blitzø and wants to help Blitzø with his company as a way to make amends.

But Blitzø doesn't know If he can forgive Stolas for what he did.

Begining Notes:

TW: Child slavery hurt feelings, getting arrested, dungeon. Lmk if we should add.

(This is a rewrite. Please read all the way through)

{Blitzø:}

He thought he’d finally escaped the Goetia family for good…

But as it seems that’s not the case at all.

"Well, well, well. Look who we found."

"Oh…fuck.

"Blitzo, no see long time." The gray hellhound (Darron) says.

"Dumbo and Torso. Don't you two have better things to do with your time?" Blitzø asks.

"Those aren't our names and you know it!" Turbo says, rolling their eyes and grabbing Blitzø’s arm. "You're coming with us, his majesty has been trying to catch you for some time."

"Right, okay. Do you mind removing the death grip? Christ on a stick, there's no way Paimon can still be this upset, it's been years!"

"You think that's what this is about? You think we don't know about you stealing the grimoire from Master Stolas?" Turbo asks.

"...shit."

When will he finally be freed from this?!

“Sir, we found the imp.” Turbo announced to Stolas, in the middle of some sort of party they were throwing.

Anniversary no doubt… Blitzø could never forget that fucking date!

His guards barely got Stolas’s attention. “Who-“

Stolas stops to look at this imp. His face glows for a moment, then grows angry at the sight of his old…friend. “Blitzo.” He greets.

“Stolas…” Blitzø mumbles, not wanting to look him. "How's it going?"

“Thank you, but you can leave him to me, I will handle him.” Stolas says.

They agree and set Blitzø down.

"Follow me…Imp." Stolas says.

Blitzø barely manages to breathe…

He couldn't go through all of this…

Not again…

{25 years ago:}

Blitzo and Fizzarolli were happily playing with their horse balloons; They were in-between shows and they needed time to just have fun and be kids for a change.

The three kids- Fizzarolli especially was constantly working, they took on a lot for them being so young, but Blitzo never understood that, none of them did. They just knew it was their job to help their parents get money so they can afford the basic necessities.

Cash grabbed Blitzø and pulled him away from his friend. "Hey-"

“Boy, I've got a job for you! You are gonna spend the day with one of the Goetia princes.” Buckzo says to him.

“Ew. Why?” Blitzo asks.

Cash rolls his eyes. “Because money! Now, listen carefully. You are being bought out to be his playmate, but I want you to steal as much from those rich fuckers as you possibly can.”

Blitzo retorts. “Steal? But… What if I get caught?”

Cash’s eyes widen and he pouts. “Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent? better food? don't you want to be able to help me and your mama out?” He asks.

Blitzo defends: “Of course I wanna help mama!”

“Then, you gotta do this. Everything those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune!” Cash explains.

Blitzo rubs his arm anxiously, he’s sick of seeing his mom and sister suffer like they had… of course he wants to help them, he’d do anything for them, really! It's such a risk though. “But, if I'm caught - I'm scared, dad.” He admits, hoping his father would understand or offer him some advice, or comfort.

Cash gets closer to Blitzo, eyes darken as he grips his shoulder tightly. He pulls Blitzo closer to the boys dismay. “There are scarier things, aren't there, son?” He asks.

Blitzo can smell the alcohol from his father’s breath, he couldn’t even move away from it for his ownprotection... “But -“

Blitzo looks up as his father, eyes promising a fate worse than death if he didn’t comply.

“Yes, papa.” Blitzo finally complied.

“That’s a good boy.” His father says.

{Later:}

Blitzo surprisingly had a good time with Prince Stolas… at least- it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. His father even got to take a ton of treasures home. Barbie and Mama would be taken care of…that's all that mattered.

He felt accomplished, like he actually did something- he wasn’t a failure for once!

Blitzo and Stolas were playing by a tree. Stolas had a strange book in his hands that intrigued Blitzo. “What Is that? Your diary?” He asks.

Stolas shakes his head. “No, this is my new grimoire! It's a spell book! I have to learn it so I can access the living world!” He explains.

“The living world? Like the world with humans and stuff? Where the sinners come from?” Blitzo asks.

Stolas nods. “Mmhmm.”

Blitzo is in awe. “That's cool!”

Stolas nods. “Yes! I'm supposed to use it to study the sky!”

Blitzo tilts his head. “Why?”

“My dad says I can find prophecies, but I don't really know. But, I'm supposed to, that's what my job will be when I grow up. To join the rest of the Goetia family.” Stolas explains.

“Sounds boring.” Blitzo says.

“Not really…though I also have to get married…" Stolas explains.

"Ew, married?!" Blitzø asks.

Stolas nods. "It's my responsibility as a Goetia."

“Not me, I’m never getting married.” Blitzo declares.

“Never?” Stolas asks.

Blitzo scoffs. “Well, maybe someday. But not till like I’m like- thirty or something.” Blitzo explains.

Stolas nods. "Good plan. Must be nice to be able to do whatever you want."

Oh yeah! You wanna know what I'm gonna do when I grow up?” Blitzø asks.

“What’s that?” Stolas asks.

Blitzo jumps up on the tree. “I'm gonna run my own circus and I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever and I'll be able to do what I want to do, all day! I'm gonna make so much money and buy myself a big building, with a big office!”

“A big office? For a circus?” Stolas asks, confused.

Blitzo nods. “Yeah! A big office! Circus business with clowns and horses! and the horses will all have good names like Stapler and Biscuit Queen!”

Stolas giggles. “I'm sure you will. That sounds like a good business.”

“Yeah! And, if you want to apply, I'll hire you. Maybe.” Blitzo says.

Stolas chuckles. “You'll hire me?” He asks.

“Yeah, if I feel like it.” Blitzo shrugged.

Stolas giggles. “Well, I hope I qualify! You'd be a good boss, Blitzo.”

Blitzo puts his hands on his hips. “You say that with sarcasm, but I totes would! You’ll see.”

Stolas laughs happily, and Blitzo does too.

Suddenly a hellhound came by and snatched up the tiny demon. “Hey, let me go!” Blitzo screamed. “Help!”

“What is the meaning of this?” Stolas asks, infuriated by how his fathers guards were treating his new friend. "Release my friend at once!"

“Apologies, Prince Stolas. Your fathers orders.” The wolf says.

Stolas is terrified, not unlike Blitzo, he decides to follow them to see where they might take the Imp.

They had the young imp sent to a cell to be chained up.

Paimon called the circus to pass on a little message to Cash:

“You thought you could steal from the Goisha family and get away with it? Well, I think not! You have until sundown to return my treasures, or else I will be keeping your son in my dungeon until his dying days!”

Blitzo gasps.

That’s it then, he failed. His father will have to give the owl man his stuff…he could’ve helped out his family if he had just been more careful. Now they’re back to square one.

His dad was probably on his way back now. He’ll have to come up with a good excuse for when he shows up.

But then the sun eventually started to set.

His father wouldn’t abandon him…

Right?

Barbie and Fizzarolli:

“Dad? Where’s Blitzo?” Barbie asks her father while they packed everything up to move the circus to their next big location.

“He….Uhh was kidnapped.” Cash said.

“What?!” Fizzarolli shouts, Barbie gasps.

“By pirates.” Cash says.

“No! Not Pirates!” Fizzarolli gasps.

“What’ll we do?!” Barbie asks.

Tilla, Blitzo and Barbie’s mother takes her husband’s arm and pulls him away. “Cash, where’s Blitzo?” She asks.

Cash sighs. “Listen, the plan didn’t work the way I had hoped. The Goetia prince has him now.”

“What? Go get him!” Tilla demanded. “Now!”

“Don’t you think if I could I would?!

If we go over there they’ll have our heads, using Blitzo as an example!” Cash shouts.

Tears fill Tilla’s eyes. “We have to try.”

Cash hugs her. “We will try. We just need a plan.

Stolas and Blitzo:

Blitzo has been trying his best to escape for the past two weeks but nothing has worked. No matter how many times he’s been caught, no matter how many times they beat him, he wasn’t going to give up. Mama needed him! Barbie needed him. He had to get out of here!

The king's guards grew tired of dragging the Imp into the castle, so they chained his arms and legs up so he couldn't leave the dungeon, they threatened to tie him to a table if he tried anything else.

Blitzo sat on the floor and cried despite himself, he hated being so weak, but he was defeated. He was stuck, and he may never see his family again…he may never see anything again actually.

“Blitzo?” A voice called, the small owl prince opened the door to his cell and walked in.

“What do you want?” The Imp asks him.

“I- I just wanted to make sure you are okay.” Stolas says.

“Well, obviously I’m not okay!” Blitzo shouts. “I’m all alone, I’m cold, my arms hurt and I’m slowly loosing my hecking sanity over being trapped in a cage!”

“Maybe if you stopped trying to escape, father would go a lot easier on you?” Stolas suggests.

“Why should I? There’s no risk, I don’t want to be here, I just want to get out! I’m all alone here, no one cares about me! If I die no one will even notice. So why don’t you just leave me alone?” He asks.

Stolas walks over to him. “I’m here for you, Blitzo.”

“What?” Blitzø asks.

“I care about you, I would be very sad if you died. I’ll help you as much as I can.”

“Buy why? I tricked you, I used you for your money.” Blitzo says.

“Only because your father made you.” Stolas defends. “I understand having to do something you didn’t want to do because of obligation.” He explains.

“I don’t even know what that means.” Blitzo mumbles.

Stolas sits on the floor with Blitzo, making eye contact. “What I mean is, I want to help; I can’t convince my father to let you go, but I can take care of you. Get you food, water, we can talk about stuff, have fun. Whatever you need.” Stolas explains.

Bltzo sniffs and wipes his tears away. “Why would you do something like that?”

“Because that’s what friends do, right?” Stolas asks.

Blitzo nods. “I guess.”

“Great! I shall go fetch you something warm, oh, and better food. I’ll be back soon, Friend!” Stolas promises, leaving the dungeon.

Blitzo didn’t really expect Stolas to come back, but he did just as he promised with food and a warm blanket for him. “Wow, thanks.”

“Of course! I know this is scary now…but over time maybe you’ll grow to like it here?” Stolas suggests.

Blitzo shrugs. “Maybe.”

Once Stolas left, Blitzo looked out the barred window. He knows his family would be busting him out of here soon..he just has to play the victim, and play nice for Stolas until he can break out.

They are coming…right?

{25 years later:}

Stolas looked down at Blitzø, eyes glowing bright red in anger, but Blitzø can sense a little pain behind those eyes. “Follow me, IMP.”

Blitzø sighs and does. He crosses his arms and reluctantly keeps up with Stolas. He hates the way Stolas called him Imp like they didn't fucking know each other.

They walked down the long hallways. Blitzø looked around at the different portraits. There were hideous pictures of Stolas and his good for nothing shrew Stella, but then he saw a picture of Stolas where he looked…not miserable, holding a small owl demon- did Stolas have a kid?

Stolas led Blitzø to his bedroom and locked the door behind them. He slowly walks over to the smaller demon. It was eerily quiet. The only sound was coming from Stolas’s boots stepping forward.

Blitzø sighs, he can’t stand quiet; he needed to get out of this, and fast. He had people waiting for him! He backed away slowly from the prince, maybe he can talk his way out. “Stolas, listen, I-“

“Give me the book. Now” Stolas orders harshly.

Kinky.

Okay.

Blitzø reluctantly takes Stolas’s book out of his jacket and hands it back to the owl.

Stolas let him go and he opens the book to be sure this wasn’t a fake or something. “What exactly were you planning on doing with this?” Stolas asks.

"Why should I tell you that?" Blitzø asks.

"Would you like to be arrested?" Stolas asked.

"Testy, who pissed in your Cheerios?” Blitzø asks.

"Wh- you did! Pardon me if I'm not thrilled to see my former best friend who abandoned me, and is now stealing from me."

"Believe me, I don't want to be here eithe." Blitzø says. "In case you forgot, I had a good reason to leave, and speaking of which, happy fucking anniversary!" He says.

"I had no choice but to marry Stella! I could have lost my rank, my family! I would have lost my home!” Stolas says.

“Really? Wow, Stolas. I'm so sorry. I wouldn’t know what that’s like at all." Blitzø says loudly and sarcastically.

“Fucking hell! Will you never let that go?! Don’t you fucking care about anyone but yourself?” Stolas asks.

Blitzø scoffs. “Right. I'm the selfish one."

"You’re the one who left, what was I supposed to do?” Stolas asks.

"I dont know, Stolas…maybe not marry Stella?" Blitzø suggests.

“I had no choice! We had an obligation to our families!” Stolas shouts.

“No, you're just a coward who couldn't just say no to daddy." Blitzø says. "You never could stand up for yourself, I always had to do that for you."

“Shut up!” Stolas shouts. “Shut the fuck up!”

Blitzø does, still heaving angrily.

“I will not ask again, what were you going to do with my book?” Stolas asks.

“Fuck off.” Blitzø says.

"Why won't you just tell me?" Stolas asks.

"Many reasons, mostly because I think you're an entitled privileged asshole." He says.

Stolas sighs. "You don't know me, Blitzø. You don't know what I've had to go through."

"And you were so sympathetic to me growing up? I'm out of here, sorry to disturb your special event. Either arrest me or let me go, I have somewhereimportant to be." Blitzø says.

Stolas sighs. "Blitzo-"

"Blitzø, the O is silent now.” Blitzø explains.

Stolas tilts his head. “You changed one-fifth of your name?” He asks.

“Yeah. What of it?” Blitzø asks.

“It’s…nice. But, why?” He asks.

"I don't need to explain myself to you!" Blitzø says.

Stolas sighs again. "Fine, Blitzø. I just- I'm trying to understand is all. I never meant to hurt you, I just…didn't know what to do." Stolas says.

Blitzø sighs, hating this conversation. Stolas was nothing but a coward, he shouldn't feel sympathy for him!

"We were best friends." Stolas says. "I know you wouldn't be here if there wasn't a legitimate reason, just please talk to me? I promise I won't lock you up like he did."

"I'm- look,...it's just complicated." Blitzø says.

"Complicated how?" Stolas asks.

Blitzø sighs. “I needed your book to access the human world.” Blitzø says.

“Why would an Imp need access to the human world?” Stolas asks, intrigued.

“I’m an assassin. My team and I are running out of clients here, most of them seek revenge on the living world…so we’ve been using it to get new clients. We’ve been very successful in it so far.” Blitzø explains.

Stolas hums. “That's..actually not a bad idea."

"Business has been great, but I need your book to do my job." Blitzø says.

Stolas frowns. "Well, I'm sorry I can't help you, Blitzø. My book is too important to lend out, if you want to access the human word, I'd try Asmodeus."

Oh yeah, because an Imp like Blitzø can just talk to a sin like Asmodeus.

Blitzø shrugs. "Fine."

"Blitzø-"

"I should go; My daughter will wonder where I am." Blitzø says, not wanting to linger too much.

Stolas's eyes widened. "Daughter? You have a daughter?" Stolas asks.

"Yeah, I adopted her a few years ago… She's my whole world." Blitzø says.

"I know what you mean." Stolas says. "My life began when I had Octavia."

Blitzø couldn't help but hurt a little at that comment, but he knew what Stolas meant, it wasn’t a jab at him.

"I'll tell you what…you can use my book. But, there will be some conditions." Stolas says.

Blitzø looked at him suspiciously.

"You have to return the book to me once a month on the full moon." Stolas says.

"...okay."

"No one can know about this deal, this stays between us." Stolas says. Blitzø is totally telling everyone, but Stolas thought he'd try.

"Okay. Fine-"

"And…be careful. Do not use any spells you don't recognize. I can teach you how to use it, but don't do anything stupid, I beg you." Stolas says.

"I won't do anything stupid, I'm not a child, Stolas." Blitzø says.

"I'm not so sure about that, but…I do trust you." Stolas says.

"And what exactly do you want in return?" Blitzø asks.

Stolas thinks about it. "You don't owe me anything…you worked for my family longer than you ever should have. I just want to make amends." Stolas says.

"That will be hard." Blitzø says.

"I know. And I do understand." Stolas says.

Blitzø takes the book from Stolas. "Thanks."

"My guards won't bother you anymore." Stolas promised. "I'm sorry they grabbed you like that." He says.

"It's fine, I'm pretty used to it." Blitzø says. "I have to go, I have somewhere important to be." He says.

"Blitzø-"

Blitzø climbed up to the window, then looked at Stolas.

"I am sorry." Stolas says. "If I could change what happened, I-"

"Yeah? Well…you can’t, so I'll see you later.." He says before climbing out the window.

Stolas sighs, trying not to feel so awful over this.

He hears Stella laughing and making fun of him…

Tears start to fall down his face…

What an awful life this turned out to be…

END NOTES: Co-written with Geez43 on Ao3

If you would like more, please lmk.

Also let me know if you want to be tagged when the next chapter comes out so you won't miss it.

Lov!

[cedarnommer]

Sometimes I see people comparing economic numbers and growth of countries like the US and China and contextualize it with other countries. But with each year, I find this kind of thing increasingly confusing. What is it exactly that makes the US or China so great compared to literally anywhere else? If the US economy is so amazing, why are so many people struggling to afford going to the hospital, buying glasses, affording rent and sometimes even affording food? It's all nonsense. The money doesn't go to us regardless of where we live. Rich people gobble up money and then blame the government for taking away everything. Companies grow and grow while we're just happy to spend some money on something nice for us once in a while. That's all capitalism is. It's masking our suffering with imaginary numbers which mean nothing to our lives. When will the GDP per capita stop people from being homeless, from minorities being crushed, from women being treated like garbage, from our ability to stay alive through different services being gutted and so on? It's just numbers. They mean nothing to my life. And they mean nothing to the lives of people in the countries with said huge GDP growth or whatever. We can make GDP grow even faster if we just allowed even more formalized forms of slavery! Just collect even more prisoners from other countries and feed the machine! GDP growth 10 % this year! Look how amazing everyone is doing because of the GDP!!! As people are dying every day for not being white, cis, straight and man enough. A pathetic useless metric by economists to try and make us feel better for a miserable situation.

[pellelavellan]

journal drabble for @quiisquiliae

23 August, 9:41 Dragon

I think I've made a terrible mistake. At this point I'm sure you're sick of me writing that to you, but until I learn to stop making a fool of myself I am afraid you will hear it again.

Another statement you've heard before: there's this man. I'll spare you my denials and desperate attempts to convince myself that he is different or somehow better than the last. He is most likely not, they never are. I know this, but gods be damned if I am not a slave to a clever smile and a silver tongue.

If you haven't guessed, he has both of these things.

He is also a murderer, a thief, a criminal, a smart ass, a self proclaimed rake... But let me tell you what else he is. A patient teacher, a compassionate person even though he will swear up and down that he is not. He is kind in ways he doesn't even see, he is an artist, a friend to his companion, Bandit. He has his morals, standing up for children, refusing to partake in slavery, or disposing of monsters that should come knocking at my door.

He brings me the hands of those who dared to lay them on me, he tells me he shall dirty his hands if only to keep mine clean. He wishes the best for me in love and in life and then declares himself a monster.

I wonder who told him he was...

He is bound tight in armor of sharp pikes and daggers if only to prove to the rest of the world that he is cold and indiscriminate in cruelty. I have half a mind to believe it has worked, or he would not continue to wear it like the flesh on his bones. But he is not. I just don't think anyone has ever truly seen him. I know this of him, that he is a liar to even himself.

But what have I done? I broke a rule. I told him that my affections of him bridge somewhere beyond friendship and then suffered as he told us lies about himself with such conviction. I wanted to argue with him, whether on his behalf or my own I don't know. It is a natural response to kick and scream when someone drives a knife into your heart, but there are few knives that twist through the heart quite as bitterly as seeing the beauty in someone that does not see it in themselves. And so I said nothing--and cursed my cowardice for not screaming at him of every small thing about him that steal my breath from my lungs, the things that make me crave for not only his body, but his company as well.

But I have done even more unforgivable things. In all this, burning with fury and despair that I have never met someone that felt so handcrafted for myself should believe us nothing more than two puzzle pieces forcing ourselves together if only not to envy the ones that slip into the folds of each other in perfect harmony, I let him kiss me. More over, I let him drink of all the desire I am not brave enough to speak of knowing that one day he would consume all of it and I would be left empty. I didn't care. I don't think I shall when I have nothing left to give, and like the idiot I have always been will lie there patiently, mayhaps forever, for the day that he comes and pours it back into me.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

What are your thoughts on the He Gets Us ads that have been taking reddit like an eleventh plague upon religious trauma subs?

I'm going to be generous and assume that it's a problem in Reddit's algorithm. But then, I don't quite know how Reddit's ad system works. If it's deliberate, than it's unacceptable to be putting it into those types of subs. I'd hope people were reporting them as inappropriate. Imagine ads for Tinder in a spouse-abuse recovery sub. Or Triple Whopper ads in a bulimia recovery sub.

I'm sure there'd be endless complaints if the "there's probably no god" ad was targeted into /r/christianquestions.

They lost their shit and called it offensive when it was simply posted out in the open in public space. It's not like billboard trucks were parked right outside their churches.

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2009/jan/09/atheist-bus-campaign-asa

The advertising regulator has received almost 150 complaints that an atheist ad campaign, proclaiming "There is probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life", is offensive to Christians and other religions that believe in a single God.

"How dare you tell people to stop worrying and enjoy life?!? What's wrong with you, you monster?!?"

Regarding "He Gets Us":

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kerryadolan/2023/02/13/this-billionaire-is-a-donor-behind-the-jesus-focused-super-bowl-ads/

The group behind the Jesus-focused ads is He Gets Us, a limited liability company that says it’s an initiative of The Servant Foundation, a public charity and Christian foundation based in Kansas that last year launched a $100 million effort to improve the image of Jesus, as the Washington Post reported. One of the backers of the initiative is billionaire David Green, the founder of craft store chain Hobby Lobby, who is estimated by Forbes to be worth $14.8 billion.

I mean, he can spend his money however he likes, but it's weird that Jesus needs so much human assistance. Surely if he was real, they could just put him on TV. There's plenty of networks that would pay for the privilege. Why would I want to follow a savior and god who was that helpless? If he can't even convincingly exist, what's he going to do in the war against evil? (The evil he created.)

It seems like Xians are finally acknowledging the exodus - pun intended - of "nones."

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/Ad-Meter/buzz-meter/2023/02/12/he-gets-us-super-bowl-ad-commercial-jesus/11243476002/

In a September 2022 modeling, the Pew Research Center estimates that if Christians in the USA continue leaving religion at its current rate, Christians of all ages will shrink from the current 64% to “between a little more than half (54%) and just above one-third (35%) of all Americans by 2070.” The study also estimates that if current trends continue, those identifying with no religion will increase from the current 30% to “somewhere between 34% and 52% of the U.S. population.”

Also in the above USA Today article:

a group touting itself as a “movement to reintroduce people to the Jesus of the Bible and his confounding love and forgiveness.”

You know, forgiveness for things we didn't do, which nobody else did either. Except the crime of existing as a human.

The "Jesus of the Bible" is a pretty nasty piece of work. It's only with modern interpretation, editing, revision and cherry-picking that he's been refashioned into the "gentle Jesus, meek and mild" we are told about today.

The "Jesus of the Bible" is a racist, sexist, xenophobic, slavery-endorsing, anti-Semitic mobster. I suppose in a way I'm all for reintroducing people to that, so I can go:

And from the Forbes article:

The ad ended with the phrase “Jesus loved the people we hate.”

As has been made abundantly clear, "Jesus" doesn't care about humans. He doesn't care whether you hate someone or not. All he cares about is whether he hates them or not. And whether he hates you or not depends on what you give him. He loves people who idolize him, not people who are good, decent or moral.

What you want is irrelevant; he just wants you to join his enablers and flying monkeys.

Matthew 12:30

He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.

Luke 11:23

He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth.

Jesus doesn't give a shit about you until you grovel at his feet and feed his rampant narcissism. That is, he's pathologically incapable - at least as far as fictional characters are capable of anything - of genuine, benevolent, sincere altruism.

Mark 7:25-30

For a certain woman, whose young daughter had an unclean spirit, heard of him, and came and fell at his feet: The woman was a Greek, a Syrophenician by nation; and she besought him that he would cast forth the devil out of her daughter. But Jesus said unto her, Let the children first be filled: for it is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it unto the dogs. And she answered and said unto him, Yes, Lord: yet the dogs under the table eat of the children's crumbs. And he said unto her, For this saying go thy way; the devil is gone out of thy daughter. And when she was come to her house, she found the devil gone out, and her daughter laid upon the bed.

Matthew 15:22-28

And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil. But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us. But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. Then came she and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me. But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to dogs. And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters' table. Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.

"Tell me you're a filthy dog and maybe I'll cure your daughter with my magic powers that cost me nothing to use as freely as I wish."

So, "Jesus loved the people we hate" isn't the selling point they think it is. Jesus loves Gerald Ridsdale and George Pell, for example. They'll join Hitler in heaven. On the other hand, he also hates the people we love. Such as my atheist parents; he regards them as "not with me" and therefore "against me."

Matthew 10:32-33

Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

It's always about him. That's how narcissists operate.

"Jesus loved the people we hate" kind of blows the whistle on the whole "love the sinner, hate the sin" thing, though, huh? They're admitting they do hate "the sinner."

Remembering, of course, that Xian love is - like every cult - only for other Xians.

John 13:34-35

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

"My disciples" ... "love one another." There is no instruction for universal love, and obligatory love is a demonstration of not understanding love in the first place.

I'm not even sure who the ads are intended for. If you're already a Xian, why are they recruiting for a club you've already joined? And Jesus is clear: only belief is necessary for salvation.

And if you aren't already a Xian, why would these ads convince you of the existence of this storybook character in the real world? It seems to be the Xian refusal to acknowledge that people legitimately don't believe what Xians and the bible claim, and are just "angry" at or "hate" their fairytale characters.

Circling back, I hope, and am going to be charitable and give them the benefit of the doubt until I see evidence otherwise, that they're not being predators deliberately targeting the ex-religious subs, and that it's just the algorithm putting "topic = religion" together.

However, these are the same people who think that questioning whether any of it is actually true is a personal failing and moral flaw. And whine that non-believer blogs exist at all. All while $100m ad campaigns for their thing air on TV. The writing appears to be on the wall.

Next time you get a religious whiner, point out the "He Gets Us" campaign and tell them to either be consistent and condemn it, or else shut up.

[iviarellereads]

All Systems Red, Chapter 4

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which not all is well.

They fly through the night, with everyone taking watch shifts, even MB. It's grateful for the time not on shift, where it doesn't have to pretend to be paying attention.(1)

Some time into the journey, Ratthi turns and says that, well, he's heard that units like MB are "partially constructed from cloned material." MB pauses the show it was watching, worried about where this conversation might lead. It offers that that's true, sounding as neutral as it can.

Ratthi points out that it's clear MB has feelings, at which MB flinches. This catches the attention of Overse, who asks what Ratthi is doing. Ratthi says Mensah asked not to, but they all saw it.

Overse pulled her interface off. “You’re upsetting it,” she said, teeth gritted. “That’s my point!” He gestured in frustration. “The practice is disgusting, it’s horrible, it’s slavery. This is no more a machine than Gurathin is—” Exasperated, Overse said, “And you don’t think it knows that?”(2)

MB is supposed to let the human clients do whatever they want, and is not supposed to snitch to anyone but the company.(3) That doesn't stop it from sending the conversation to Mensah in the feed. She gets it, and shouts at Ratthi from the cockpit to quit it.(4) MB moves to the back of the hopper, as far away from the humans as it can get, as Ratthi offers to apologize and is told to leave it alone by Mensah and Overse.

MB stays at the back, standing, facing away, until it's sure they're done trying to approach it, and resumes its show.

In the middle of the night, it feels the feed drop out. It wasn't using it, but it was checking in on SecSystem at the hub every so often, to be sure everything was okay. Aloud, it announces that the satellite is down. Mensah asks if it's sure it's the satellite, as everyone reaches for their devices except Pin-Lee in the pilot's seat. MB says it is, because it's not responding to ping requests.

Pin-Lee points out the satellite's already been unreliable, and MB knows she's right, because her personal logs show she's been tracking the satellite outages looking for a pattern, and it's supposed to keep an eye on everyone's logs in case it can datamine anything for the company. Ratthi says it seems odd, in the bad way.

Mensah asks if anyone wants to turn back. MB does, but it doesn't get a vote. Overse asks how they'd feel if they found out DeltFall did need help and they didn't go. Pin-Lee agrees, they have to take the risk. Ratthi knows they're right, even if he's scared. Mensah says, they're all agreed then, they continue.

I would have preferred they be overcautious. I had had contracts before where the company’s equipment glitched this badly, but there was just something about this that made me think it was more. But all I had was the feeling.

They arrive around dawn, and there's no sign of life outside, but no missing transports. MB suggests they land outside the habitat perimeter. Something is wrong, the HubSystem is in standby, and MB can't even get pings from the local SecUnits. There's no way the humans are alive in there. It also gives Mensah hints in the feed that the humans who have done weapons safety courses should use the hand weapons in the survival gear, and Ratthi should stay behind and seal the hatch because he never took the course.

MB takes the lead, and deploys some of the tiny drones from the hopper's supply to scout. It feels out of its depth, as a SecUnit intended to discourage clients from attacking each other mainly.(5) Even as they approach, it can't feel or see any DeltFall drones, and still nothing from the three assigned SecUnits.

SecUnits aren’t sentimental about each other. We aren’t friends, the way the characters on the serials are, or the way my humans were.(6) We can’t trust each other, even if we work together. Even if you don’t have clients who decide to entertain themselves by ordering their SecUnits to fight each other.

MB notices that the area is the sort of dirt that makes mud, and the met report said it rained last night, but there are no footprints. No sign of forced entry to the habitat, either. MB asks to go in alone, first. Mensah agrees, reluctantly, but asks MB to be sure all the humans can monitor. It takes four drones inside, leaving two to keep scouting outside. The door isn't even locked, and opens at a single button push. MB indicates that it will proceed silently inside.

Almost immediately, it comments on the scent of decay in its helmet filters.

It finds the first SecUnit. They're hard to kill, but it's been pierced in such a way as would do the job. It makes sure the SecUnit is inert, then proceeds to the main crew area, where it finds eleven dead. MB tells Mensah to fall back to the hopper. It confirms with its outside drones that the humans all do so, then proceeds, finding dead humans every so often in the halls. It's obvious that one or both of the remaining SecUnits did it, and the murdered one was trying to protect the hub.

Maybe these clients had been terrible and abusive, maybe they had deserved it. I didn’t care. Nobody was touching my humans.(7) To make sure of that I had to kill these two rogue Units. I could have pulled out at this point, sabotaged the hoppers, and got my humans out of there, leaving the rogue Units stuck on the other side of an ocean; that would have been the smart thing to do. But I wanted to kill them.(8)

MB determines that the dead SecUnit was probably done in by a standard survey drill, a tool that looks innocent until deployed.

It finds another body in the doorway between this habitat and the next section, but the lividity is all wrong for the position. Something put her here, probably as soon as Mensah's big hopper approached. MB tells Mensah silently in the feed what it requires, and Mensah plays along.

It climbs to the roof, and crosses the habitats to where it thinks the rogue units are waiting. After confirming with its drones, it stages the only attack it thinks has a chance of success. It can't kill them, but it does disable them, taking a few hits in the process that leave bits of itself numb.

This is how we fight: throw ourselves at each other and see whose parts give out first.

It opens comms to tell Mensah it still has to double check the habitat.(9) It doesn't see what's coming, because its drones entered combat mode and sacrificed themselves trying to help it. It's on its feet, and then it's on the floor, systems failing.

It wakes slowly, with no senses, not even the feed, until bits start coming back online. It realizes it's being dragged, and can feel all its wounds. It is terrified, wondering why its assailant hasn't just killed it yet. It can hear, and the joint noises give away that it's another SecUnit, but MB was sure DeltFall would have had the bare minimum of them contracted, and that was three for their crew size.

It feels itself being put on a table, then pressure, a stab in the neck… and then a shock, and its systems are all back online. MB goes on the offensive, somehow taking out the unit, and looks up to find a second one in the doorway. It shoves itself up, but doesn't react quite fast enough.

Fortunately, Mensah is there, with the sonic drill from the PresAux big hopper, to take out this SecUnit the way it presumably took out its peer.

MB starts reading rules and regs about how this is a violation of security priority, the clients are the priority and the SecUnits are disposable, but Mensah ignores it, talking to Pin-Lee. MB brings up that there could be more SecUnits, and Mensah urges speed in returning to the big hopper. MB notices that Mensah is carrying its weapon, and requests it back. Mensah snaps that MB is missing a hand and part of its shoulder. MB grumps that it's the principle of the thing. Soon, they're close enough for the hatch to open, and Ratthi to finish dragging MB inside for takeoff.

I collapsed on the deck as we lifted off. I needed to do something about the hip joint. I tried to check the scan to make sure nobody was on the ground shooting at us but even here my connection to the hopper’s system was twitchy, glitching so much I couldn’t see any reports from the instrumentation, like something was blocking the . . . Uh-oh.

MB feels the back of its neck, and finds its data port has something in it. The DeltFall SecUnits had been equipped with combat overrides, which allow personal control over a unit's actions. MB warns Mensah she needs to shut it (MB) down immediately, but her response is broken up by MB losing control of its senses as the override module takes effect. MB explains as best it can as quickly as it can. They have to kill it.

The humans, of course, say absolutely not a chance. Overse calls for Pin-Lee, who might have the skills to repair MB if there were more time.

So I grabbed the handweapon lying on the seat, turned it toward my chest, and pulled the trigger.(10) PERFORMANCE RELIABILITY AT 10% AND DROPPING SHUTDOWN INITIATED

=====

(1) MB pays a lot more attention than it gives itself credit for, and where it doesn't, it makes up for it in instinctive reactions and scrubbing through footage later. (2) Ratthi reads in this scene, to me, like a very well-meaning lib who just will not be convinced that he does not, in fact, know better than the people he's trying to help. (3) I love all these little pointing arrows. "Capitalist dystopia ahoy!" Even in ~2016 or earlier, whenever Wells was writing this story, it was already pretty obvious actually that this is where we were headed. (4) MOOOOM! XD (5) Interesting that the assertion made here is that groups of humans in competition with each other rarely make to sabotage each other. (6) When did the humans become yours, Murderbot? The slow shift from thinking of them purely as clients, to thinking of them as people, is so good. It may not be human, but MB is a person, and people tend to be social creatures. These humans have treated it fairly, treated it kindly even. And what do we tend to do when shown kindness? We bond. (7) Protective instinct far above and beyond the scope of its programming or assignment. We love to see it. (8) And here again, MB showing what should be uncharacteristic emotion. It should pull back, it should protect its humans. But it sees devastation, and even aside from the threat the two SecUnits could pose to its humans, MB cannot help itself but to step in. (9) I love that the wording is so vague, I can't tell if it successfully sent that message or not. (10) MB choosing death over harming its humans, any humans, but especially its humans.

[dgcatanisiri]

I do get the bind that BioWare's marketing is probably in right now - honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if, given the reception to Andromeda and Anthem, their last two games, some pencilpusher at EA is looking over BioWare's shoulder, warning them that if their next game doesn't sell well, EA might start looking to restructure the company. And with how DA4 has been stopped and restarted a couple of times now, I get banking on the aspect that is 100% firm set in stone as a marketing aspect.

I even get not wanting to put things that are more specific in the marketing - I remember some of the Inquisition pre-release material featuring Varric remarking that he's being "outflexed by the ladies once again," and building up some big choice in Crestwood that didn't make it into the final game, which definitely seems to be a detriment to the released product as a result of knowing that there was more planned that didn't make it.

My issue is that... Okay, at this point, people who respond positively to Solas have been hooked on this game. They've honestly probably been hooked since the initial teaser trailer, and, sure, you want to make sure that aspect of the hype machine stays oiled and lubricated and all those other awkward metaphors.

But shouldn't SOME effort also be put in towards trying to hook in the people who AREN'T drawn in by Solas? Like being in Tevinter is expected - that was where the map in the final scene of Trespasser was, so, for example, do a trailer from the perspective of a tourism ad of Tevinter - show off the scenery, talk up the history, present the splendor... And then undercut it by presenting the horrors of slavery and the depravity of the blood magic. Show us elements of the game that are not centered on this one character.

Like... Dragon Age Absolution made me FAR more excited for DA4 than any of the teaser trailers have, precisely BECAUSE it had nothing to do with Solas, instead managing to show a place we the audience have never been, exploring Tevinter, and teasing a particular antagonist who was unexpected to hear from again. THAT got me hyped for returning to this setting, and particularly after my recent run through Inquisition left me screaming in frustration.

I get banking on the feature that they know will be unchanging regardless of how things in production shift. But it's kind of a double-edged sword - sure, the people who like the character, who are invested in him, they're gonna eat that up. But it does create a sense of... anti-hype, for want of a better term, for those of us who don't care about him, aren't interested in his story.

[introvertguide]

The Road Movie

Most movies follow a general script type depending on genre, and this is used to tell a story that has a satisfying ending. It is interesting when a movie mixes up type and tone and goes against genre type. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it is terrible. Great directing and acting can make the subversion of expectations less jarring (or more depending on the end goal), but the end goal and tone allows us to attach a film to a genre. But what about films that aren't about the end goal? There are many films that are in a sub-genre that focus on the journey with little regard to the end goal. These are what are called "road movies" and can fall under many different genres since the end goal doesn't really matter. Let's address some famous road movies through the years that are also classified in a variety of other genres:

Huckleberry Finn (1931)

The OG of travel films, this was the sequel to Tom Sawyer (1930) and had the same child actors. This wasn't what you would call financially successful, but this was largely due to the Great Depression. The 1939 version of the movie did a lot better and was one of the well known films of child actor Mickey Rooney. This story of travel was an early role for many actors including Rooney, Ron Howard, and Elijah Wood. Although there were threats of death and portrayals of slavery, this film was considered a family adventure in the pre-code film era. I guess a boy escaping his abusive father in the company of an adult escaped slave where people are actively attempting to rob and kill them was considered a fun family romp in the early 30s. This was the same story that came from a book that was banned in schools during the 1980s. It is a great story and I love the works of Mark Twain; I am just surprised at the genre.

Stagecoach (1939)

This is a great movie that transcends the Western genre of which it is categorized. A group of people all have different reasons for traveling from an Arizona territory over to New Mexico. There is word of vengeful thieves and angry Apaches that threaten the small band of travelers. It is actually very intense because the threat feels very real throughout the film. The entire film focuses on the journey and the relationships forged (and broken) on the way. This was the breakout role for John Wayne and was part of an amazing string of films directed by John Ford and starring John Wayne.

Easy Rider (1969)

This is a film that really spoke to the hippie movement during the Vietnam Era. It is statement on how difficult it is to truly be free and how society fears that freedom and tries to destroy it. The film might very well have the worst dialogue of any movie I have ever seen. Actors Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper were actively using drugs throughout film production, so the real draw was the sweet rides and the moving soundtrack. This is a movie where I actually want more driving montages and less character development because I don't identify with the characters at all. Maybe it is a generational gap.

Paper Moon (1973)

This film is amazing. It is the story of a traveling grifter who takes a little girl on the road with him after her mother dies. He teaches her how to make a living cheating people and they form a father-daughter type of relationship. It is a comedy drama that won the girl an Oscar for best supporting actress when she was only 10. Some nice back story, the girl is Tatum O'Neal and is the actual daughter of the grifter, played by Ryan O'Neal. It is kind of strange, but this is a "coming of age" film on the road.

The Blues Brothers (1980)

Now this is what I am talking about. Two brothers go on a trip after being released from jail because they got a message from God. I am pretty sure that this film still holds the record for most crashed vehicles in a single movie. It is also interesting that the film is technically a musical. The brothers stop at different locations and songs break out. In between stops, they are chased by the police in an almost demolition derby style chase. I really enjoy this movie and believe that it really keeps a fast pace (literally and figuratively), but, like many road films, I can't say it is good because it is more of an experience than a story.

Thelma and Louise (1991)

This was an interesting twist on the "run from the law" type of film. Two women are friends and decide go on a weekend retreat. They get in trouble after killing a man who tries to assault them and have to run from the authorities. It has a reputation for being very feminist (despite being directed by accused mesogenist Ridley Scott) because of the negative portrayal of men. It obviously wasn't that bad since it was nominated for 6 Oscars including both leads for best actress. In fact, Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon were both nominated for best actress at the Academy Awards, the BAFTAs, and the Golden Globes. It is the quintessential road film since the end goal is constantly changing and best defined as "away from here."

Natural Bork Killers (1994)

This was kind of a strange film. It is a crime drama where the audience follows two killers with traumatic childhoods as they meet and go on a murder spree. Similar to Bonnie and Clyde, but with gory murders as the focus over bank robberies. It is directed by Oliver Stone, and criticizes the glorification of violence by the media. It is most definitely a road movie because the end goal for the two is simply to be together and enjoy the rush of breaking the law. Hm. It is actually quite a bit like Bonnie and Clyde. Interesting. I would like to make a note that my mom hates this film because of the shaky cam and Dutch angles. It made her feel sick at the theater.

Road Trip (2000)

OK. This is far and away my least favorite film on this list, but it is the most famous "boner road comedy" that I am familiar with. It is a high school/college coming-of-age film that focus on the sexual pursuits of a group of young men. These types of films are marked with gross out humor, gratuitous nudity, and boys trying to have sex. There was a bunch of films like this that came out around the early 2000s and they all had to do with boys traveling some place in search of idealized sex (the plot on this one is a little different, something to do with a sex tape) and generally they find that the best girl for them was there by them all along. It takes a nice idea of character development and throws raunchy jokes and boobs at it. I was not a fan, but it was definitely a thing.

Death Proof (2007)

This is much better shlock. It is the Tarantino version of exploitation grindhouse films of the seventies, but updated to be a women empowerment film. It was part of a double feature that was paired with a horrific zombie outbreak film directed by Rod Rodriguez, but this one is much better on its own. It is the story of an old stunt man who travels around looking for unsuspecting victims whom he can run down in his indestructible car. This is a great example of what a road movie can be because Tarantino took the concept of a slasher and put it completely on the road.

Mad Max Fury Road (2015)

Here is an action revenge film in a post-apocalyptic wasteland where most of the film is driving. The producers couldn't find a director who they trusted with remaking George Miller's Mad Max franchise so the 70 year old Miller said "hold my beer" and made this masterpiece that is arguably better than any of the first three (edit: I guess Miller always intended to direct but it took so long to go into production that he joked in interviews about giving up on it). The original trilogy with Mel Gibson presents an amazing world where most people are nomadic and traveling can be a life or death proposition. Fury Road is the further adventures of the character and his interaction with one Furiosa. The use of many practical effects on moving vehicles that was garnished with CG effects made for one of the best action films in the last decade. It was more than a simple movie about traveling; it was a land were the road was life and everything surrounded the ability to be mobile enough to get supplies in a dead world.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is by no means all of the road movies. The Wizard of Oz is technically a road movie. The Grapes of Wrath is a critically acclaimed road movie from around the same time. Comedies like The Cannonball Run, Smokey and the Bandit, and National Lampoon's Vacation can all be classified in the genre. Rain Man is one of the best films of all time and it can be classified as a road movie. What it comes down to is that, when considering characters, a writer should think about the journey itself and think of how the leads interact with this entity. The road might be the best character in the whole story.

[thecitythatdoesntsleep]

[Part 1]

(Tags/TW: slavery, chronic illness, filthy environment, nondescript bathing scene, blood-drinking (from glass), domestic whump, female!vampire!caretaker, genderfluid!whumpee)

When she was delivered, it was like they had asked. The same attendant from the venue had brought the vampiress in his beat-up truck; having driven side by side in awkward silence.

"Like I said kid, she doesn't talk much so I don't think you'll get much company." The man noted, the younger human coming to slap a stack of cash into his palm as thanks for her arrival.

They opened the door for her, she stepped out on her own. She was tall, a lot taller than the photo could have depicted but she was thin and slender on all edges of her frame. She kept her sight low, let the mess of tangled, unkempt blonde hair hide her. She didn't express anything on her features, merely looked as neutral as they came.

"Come on, let's go inside." The human offered, walking up the sidewalk to open the door for her and allow her to walk past them. The hinges creaked closed and as soon as the temperature changed in their lungs, they coughed.

She looked up. In fear and sudden concern.

"I-I'm o-okay.." They coughed, "It's just too cold-" Another fit and they tried to fight it back to stop frightening her.

The place around them was filthy. Everything was coated in a layer of dust, what she could see of the dining room was full of dishes and flies. It was no wonder they were sickly if they lived in such a grand trash heap.

"I'm sorry... That it's had to come to me buying help..." They mumbled once they'd caught their breath. "But I can't do it alone."

They came closer to her, held a gentle hand out for her to take so they could lead her somewhere a bit more cleanly.

"I didn't buy you to be mean to you, I'm just too sick to be okay living alone.." When she took their hand, she looked down at them with such a soft, neutral expression. She didn't seem happy but she also didn't seem wracked with grief.

"We'll live as friends, a family." They spoke as they both walked up the staircase and down a hall to their room. "Whatever I have, is yours too. And I'm okay providing you with blood, too."

They pulled open their closet as soon as they'd entered the room and held the doors wide to offer whatever was inside it. "I don't have many dresses or much feminine clothing but you're free to dress and wear whatever is here. I'll even start the bath if you'd wanna get clean."

When they met eyes again, she looked a bit teary, a glassy sheen under her lids. She approached the small hanging bar carefully, sought out whatever she thought would fit her shape and accommodate her height.

The human had strayed into the bathroom and turned on the faucet, letting the tub start to fill with warming water. They made it just a little bit hotter than normal, just in case she had a lot of things she needed to do prior.

"It's warming up, but there are mirrors and brushes in the bathroom." They offered, her form turning to meet with them while she clutched the clothing to her chest. "Use whatever you find, there are products and soaps on the vanity and that's one room I've made sure to keep clean."

"Thank you.." When her voice finally met the air, it was soft, whispy. It held a sweet tone, a meekness to it.

"I'll find you something to drink in the meantime, please bear with me."

She couldn't recall, the last time she'd sat at a stool and watched herself brush her hair in the mirror. It was so damaged, knots she never believed to come out, laying in tangles. But there was hope if she could find the right oils in the plethora of bottles that lay in front of her.

She opened each bottle, smelled it, and started to dump small portions of every product that held the right scent to her. Smoothing it on made her want to cry, how it sucked it up, how awful her reflection mocked her as she even tried.

The water behind her was well warmed by the time she'd managed to tame the mess and get it back to looking like the long locks might survive. It had to have been longer than a year, maybe ten, since she'd had her own bath. A warm one, a thorough one.

Water had run murky by the end of it, in a combination with the soaps and shampoo she'd lathered through her hair and the filth on her skin. She stood, dried herself, and wrapped the fabric around her hair once she'd finished. She squeezed the water out and dripped it back into the tub, taking the rest of her time to use a bit more of the lotion she'd favored earlier. This time, on her skin, to repair and soothe the dry, flaky patches and how poorly she'd been kept for so long.

By the time she came from the bathroom, she felt so much more humanized. She walked straighter, held a poise to how she moved. Rounding the corner to meet them, she gave them that reserved but mysterious smile. Just on the edge of her lipline.

"Here, please take this while it's warm." The human insisted, handing her a red plastic glass that was to the brim with warm blood. It was precious to her that they'd filled a cup, like they would for another person.

She took it, sipped it carefully to remove the risk of spilling it. As soon as it washed over her throat she felt the dry sensation lessen on her tongue and voice-box.

Another drink, then two, and now, the human was smiling at her. Watching the cores of her eyes swirl with electrified gratitude, her starving cells eating up every drop the glass contained.

"Is that better? I'll give you more, I just didn't have a bigger glass-" They heard her hum, saw the plastic cup pull from her lips with a pant clinging to them.

"That's enough." She replied, carefully wiping at her lips with her fingers. "Thank you, that's plenty... I'll get by just fine, it was generous."

"Are you sure? I want you to be well-fed, not constantly starving so please don't minimize your thirst for my sake." They continued to offer, "I have the money for livestock and space in the barn on the back of the property, we can raise them if you're able to live off of that."

"If there comes a time I need more, I can hunt, I assure you." She reminded, "Human blood works the best but I don't need it in large doses. What you gave me will last with substitute."

"Just don't be afraid to ask me, I won't tell you no and it doesn't bother me. However you want to feed, will be okay."

She came closer to them, reached a hand out like they had earlier. They accepted it and she held it gently in hers with pause, dimming eyes gazing at them with constant warmth.

"Where do you want me to start?" She asked, "What can I do that will help you the most?"

"It's a lot of work but we'll both benefit from it.." They looked down in guilt and she saw the tinge of shame flare behind their eyes and across their features. "The bedding needs washing, first I think, in both main bedrooms. A-And I'll help! I'll do as much as I can, you won't work alone."

"Please don't minimize your illness, for my sake." She repeated their words but gave a squeeze to their hand before breaking away to strip the bed in the corner of the room.

They moved to help, started to pull off blankets and sheets that covered the fiber-stuffed mattress.

"Can I ask your name?" They questioned aloud, "Your real name if they weren't using it."

"My birth name you wouldn't understand, even the phonics have been dead for a few millenniums." She replied softly, stripping down the feather pillows to wash their outer layers. "But the ones that once loved me, called me Gaia."

"Can I call you that too?" The human asked, her hands gently taking the blanket from their bundled arms.

"Yes, I'd like that very much." This time when the smile line tilted, it raised a bit higher and she actually offered a small, polite expression. "What shall I call you?"

"My 'birth name' was Davianna Marie, but I've buried it and my friends call me Leighton now." They replied and she reached for their chin, tilting them up to look at her with an inquisitive stare behind her eyes.

"Mhm. Looks about right, I like Leighton better." She seemed to have eased up a bit, warmed up after her self-care, her drink, and their small talk. She wasn't quiet when she had no reason to fear talking and this human seemed the exact opposite of scary.

"Thank you.. I think it suits me too."

[gitgud-rp]

Backstory: Fleshing out motivations

A motivated character is a good character. Period. End of story. I'm not normally one to deal in absolutes, but in this case, I'm a proud Sith.

Your character should be motivated. They should want something. Not that this is all that unusual, really: most characters want something, even if that thing is just to do the plot thing. Playing in a game about preventing the rise of a zombie army? Okay, sweet, your character has a motivation to prevent the rise of a zombie army. Perfect. You have a motivation. You're done!

...Right?

But... that motivation is kind of boring, don't you think? And it depends extremely heavily on the GM to provide you with a direction for your character.

Plus, if your character is only motivated by "doesn't want zombies to overrun everything" that tells us basically nothing about your character because pretty much everyone on the planet (or plane or disk on the top of a turtle or whatever other cosmologically-interesting place your campaign setting lives in) likely doesn't want zombies to overrun everything. If you run into a warlord who says that he'll help you stop the zombies from overrunning everything if you let him take a bunch of slaves as the spoils of war from the country currently oppressed by the Big Bad Necromancer, would your character agree to this? Well, what motivates your character more: stopping zombies or stopping slavery?

So how do you create a well-motivated character?

Why are you here?

Let's start with base motivation - we don't want the world to be overrun by a zombie army. Just because that probably isn't enough of a motivation doesn't mean it's a bad motivation. In fact, starting with "my character is motivated to do the plot" is usually a really good way to start because it ensures that you're less likely to run into that problem where you're not entirely sure why your character is actually doing the plot things anymore.

Example: let's say you've built a fairly quiet, shy, bookish sort of wizard who prefers to stay indoors and read. It's a fun archetype, to be sure, but it can be kind of hard to justify the presence of this person in an adventuring party because they explicitly don't like adventuring. If they're here because the team needs a wizard to face off against the Big Bad Necromancer... why did they bring this mage? There are plenty of wizards in the world, all of whom would be extremely motivated to prevent the zombie apocalypse, so it really begs the question of why the party end up with this one when they could have another who would probably be better at adventuring in general, and might be better company because they're not completely miserable all the time.

Now, that's not to say that you can't build a reluctant hero - pushing the bookish wizard into adventuring can be great fun, but now you should provide a particular reason why they would be present in the party instead of offering to help by doing research or whatever instead. So... why are they doing the plot? This question isn't just "why would they want to stop the zombie army?" but also "why are they helping in this specific way to stop the zombie army?" Maybe the bookish wizard spent his life living in a library on the border of the Necromancer's kingdom, and it was burned to the ground by a few of the zombies that have already been raised. He can't help with research because he doesn't have a library to research in anymore. And maybe he's out for revenge for the destruction of that library. Or maybe not everyone made it out of the blaze alive, and he wants to avenge those deaths. Or maybe the bookish wizard grew up alongside a more outgoing sorcerer who was previously part of another adventuring group who already tried to stop the Necromancer and went missing, so the wizard is coming along to help find his bestie (or find out what happened to them, at least). Or maybe nobody else believes that the king of that lovely little nation to the west is actually secretly a Necromancer at all, and nobody else thinks there's anything to stop, but the bookish wizard accidentally came across some evidence that they cannot ignore, and even though they don't want to go, they also know that no one else will.

In short - why are you here? Why is your character in this party? Not just why they would want to join the party, but also why they are the specific individual who joined?

What would they be doing instead?

If everything in your character's life had gone to plan... probably they wouldn't be an adventurer. This isn't always true, but usually adventures happen because something has gone wrong. It doesn't necessarily have to be a world-ending threat. Maybe you don't have a coming zombie army, maybe your bookish wizard became an adventurer and is just dungeon-delving for riches because he got expelled from the College of Magic and now wants to put together enough money to start his own College (with blackjack and hookers). But whether the previous motivation is personal or shared, this question still remains: if things had gone to plan, what would they be doing instead?

For our bookish wizard, the answer is obvious - reading. The bookish wizard probably planned to spend his whole life in the library at the College of Magic or what have you, researching magical lore. Or maybe he had designs on becoming an instructor. Or heck, maybe he did plan to travel, just in a more relaxed and comfortable manner, moving from town to town, providing magical tutelage to those in the outlying villages with no access to proper schools of magic.

Why does this matter? Well, this is still a motivation. The bookish wizard is pretty highly motivated to do research or teach - in fact, it might be arguably his highest motivation, because that's what he'd be doing if he was given the choice. It informs a lot about what your character values and enjoys in life.

What would they change about the world?

...Other than the thing the group is currently trying to fix, probably. Our bookish wizard shouldn't include "remove the Big Bad Necromancer from power" or "ensure that the zombie army can never rise again" because that's just their first motivation again. This is about the more general world, and may be somewhat linked to the previous point (but also may not be).

Perhaps our bookish wizard believes that access to arcane education should be easier to access - maybe that's why his original plan was to travel and offer lessons to people in the outlying villages. Or maybe he would change something completely different. Maybe he's a half-orc and his parents' happy marriage endured a lot of prejudice from those that believed that this mix of races was "inappropriate," so he'd change this kind of prejudice against human/orc relationships (or maybe just prejudice against orcs in general). Or maybe he actually believes that necromancy has some great value to offer society and he wishes that people like the Big Bad Necromancer would stop giving the school such a bad name.

Of course, your character could have many of these, but they should probably have at least one pet cause like this. Or, if they don't, make that an active choice - they either genuinely like the status quo for some reason, or perhaps they're cynical about the value of changing the world. But these should be options you specifically choose for a reason, rather than being something that you stumble into simply because you haven't thought of anything better.

Why? Why why why why why why why?

Now ask why about all of these. Ask why over and over and over until the question no longer makes sense. Ask why like a toddler asking their parent about the world.

So, our bookish wizard is in the party because he's hoping to find out what happened to his sorcerer friend? Well, why did the sorcerer friend leave in the first place? Why is our wizard the only one looking for the sorcerer? Why didn't the wizard go with the sorcerer before? Why why why?

Our bookish wizard would be in the library, doing arcane research if not for the zombie threat? Why does he want to do that? Because he values knowledge? Because he's angling for a higher position in the college? Why does he value knowledge in specific? Why does he want that higher position? Why why why?

This is the most important bit, because this is where the motivations are drilled down into the core values of the character. What do they believe, at the most basic level? What do they value? Knowing this will help inform other key decisions - you don't need to know how they'd react to an offer like the one from the warlord in particular, because knowing about your character's values means that you know exactly how this particular character would respond to that or any one of the infinitely varied other dilemmas that they might face.

[sagebodisattva]

Externalization

Yeah, I hear you man. You are externalizing.

I hear that too, brother. And you are externalizing.

Yeah? Well, you may be only speaking metaphorically, but guess what? You are still externalizing, nonetheless.

When we talk about deconstructing our preset conditioning that dictates to the consciousness where to focus the attention, it's important to understand just how crucial this maneuver is towards redefining the old description of reality with the truth of existentiality. And this is no easy task, for the old description of reality is deeply engrained into us, and we are even trained to automatically defend it's position without giving such fortifications any thought. So you can clearly see why, despite a possible initiative to undertake such an endeavor, that it's going to be a very difficult task to employ.

Indeed, it will be a very arduous road to take, but do yourself a favor and don't waste time trying to take any shortcuts, for they don't really lend towards accomplishing the objective at hand. This is most usually evidenced by assumptive efforts to try and circumvent various paraphernalia of indulgence, but this is misspent effort; for the way to master cravings is not attained by avoiding external objects of desire. Remember, avoidance, despite the impression of refrain, is still an attachment, for it still invests in the desire for specific outcome, and therefor isn't conducive towards the necessary detachment required to facilitate the sublimation of the attention. The attention must be re-directed by way of applied implementation, and so the awareness must learn to do this empirically. So it needs attachments to practice on. Removing the objects of desire doesn't get the job done. And forcing someone to do what they don't wanna do, because someone thinks they know better then someone else, won't get the job done either. It has to be a willing enterprise that is fully prepared to confront obstacles and address them accordingly.

So the way to begin to reel in the attention, so to speak, is to reframe how we believe reality is produced. We are conditioned from a very young age to over look our own awareness, the conduit from which the stream of projections manifest, and to focus exclusively on the reflections, that is, the so called external phenomenon. This conditioning is what is known as externalization. It's a conditioning that takes no responsibility for reality; due to a false outlook that distances itself from that which is looked upon. Hence, imaginary separations are established, and the facets of existential reality become compartmentalized, and therefor are, for all intents and purposes, no longer recognized as existential, therefore deemphasizing the attention from it's own agency and redirecting it towards getting stuck on the projected perceptibles, which are no longer seen as projected reflections and, thereof, are only appreciated as externally existing fixed configurations of content.

From here, the delusions of illusion are inaugurated. This is where the finger is pointed outwards from, in an attempt to explain that which is being manifested from the mind. And when I say "mind", I do not mean any ingredient of reality. Whenever I say mind, I am referring to that which precedes the body, the brain, the emotions and the perceptions. This is where it begins to become very difficult to navigate our way back out of, towards the truth of reality, and by the time we come of age and are in a position of increased autonomy to do so, it is often already too late. Then. it becomes a matter of intervention, which is where I come in. And I say unto you, stop pointing outwards. Stop searching outwards. Stop blaming outwards. Stop externalizing. You are looking in the wrong place, and are concerned with exactly the last place that needs to be addressed. You may explore the external world from here to eternity, and search through content from soup to nuts, but all you will be really doing is sifting through layers of appearances. Understand that the spiritual journey doesn't even begin, until you start to look introspectively, towards the source of all these things.

“Look inwards for the source? Sage, it sounds like you are saying that men are gods.”

What man? What god? These are both equally inventory items of illusion. Obviously men are not gods, for we are limited and very powerless, but that's mainly due to the self imposed mental enslavement; the kind of mental slavery that looks to assign power and authority to some external property. And looking outwards towards external properties will only trap the attention further and further, for this is the nature of details; they ensnare you, and reveal even further details to sink you deeper and deeper into. And it never has an end. For every answer illusion provides, 10 more questions will arise. And all the while, the vehicle from which you are operating, of which you have only a limited time to negotiate the situation, rapidly fades away; and before you know it, the end of your form will have arrived, and you will die chasing phantoms.

So this is why it is important to make some tracks redirecting the attention. So far, you have only shifted your attention between a variety of different inventory items, and I am not asking you to focus your attention on another inventory item. I am asking you to redirect the attention towards itself. Not to YOUR self, but to ITSELF, meaning, not towards your ego, or your personification, but towards awareness itself. This is all part of understanding the nature of potentiality; you don't get caught up in attaching to it's appearances. If you do, you will certainly be at it's mercy, which in itself, is yet another distraction that snares the attention; as it reinforces the idea of the inventory by verifying itself to the attention via contention. This is another trap, for fighting against the external, while overlooking it's root cause, doesn't improve one's chances of self recognition, which, in turn, further convolutes the situation by the inevitable use of deductive reasoning based on premises that simply aren't true, and before long, one will be fully entrenched in the game of grasping and avoiding, whilst fighting adversity, all of which, keep one mired in illusion.

As with details, adversaries will increase the more the attention is placed towards them. This is where people find a plethora of excuses for not looking inwards:

“Introspection isn't going to stop the tyrannical governments of the world from spreading corruption and seeking to enslave us under a totalitarian rule.”

“Introspection isn't going to put food on the table, nor provide any practical means by which to make the world a better place.”

Can you see how these are the wrong areas to address? These concerns can be dealt with by you, personally, by looking towards where they originate from. This realm is a training ground, not a place to seek repose and security. This realm is necessarily going to stick unfairness and injustice in your face, any chance it gets, but this is exactly the trick used to fixate your attention on the perceptibles, and keep it away from the truth. Almost everything in life is this type of device.

“But what about the conspiracies! The symbolisms! The phonetics! The double meanings! The anagrams! The ancient texts! The evil that seeks to enslave us!”

Sigh.

You are reading into the inventory items way too much. All the language, memes and symbols reflect the psychology and the zeitgeist of your current state, which is manifested as a world full of confusion, paranoia, demonization and righteous indignation. These are all the apparatuses of your addiction to externalization, hence the complaints about all of this is more of the same: scheming ploys to try and get the conversation right back on the external inventory again.

Look, it doesn't matter how dramatic you try to make the cosmic horror narrative out to be, it's still a projected externalization of the inner state that created it. All of these types of assertions are insights into your own subconscious mind, that you are projecting outwards and alienating from yourself as external phenomenon. What else do you need to know? You want to address these issues? Then look within yourself. The outer world is a reflection of the inner condition and the inner predilection. The crux of your misunderstanding, the lynchpin to your entire disempowerment, is the conditioning that makes you believe that you are byproduct and not source. This is the spell that everyone is under.

And what's that you say? No matter how much you believe that externalizations originate from within you, nothing you do within yourself is going to stop what's actually occurring on the external? And that this belief does not change the situation, but only how the situation is viewed?

No, you don't know that. Because it's only a matter of belief, and not the result of realization and experimentation, do you chalk it off as such. If you had the actual knowing of it, then you would see and experience how you can mold what's occurring on the so called external. Those who know about the nature of the source have a task that is almost insurmountable. Especially since they are in slim company. People all start out deluded and then some wake up. But the quest isn't found in making illusion more comfortable and ideal, the quest is found in simply waking up yourself and then to assist all individuals towards the same. No projection can allow or disallow you to wake up, it can only, at most, distract you and invite you to get lost in it for awhile. And whether or not you do is completely within your power to control.