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#and it got me SOMETIMES but it was just so frustrating
reggies-eyeliner · 2 days
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OKAY AN EXTREMELY SELF-INDULGENT SENSELESS RAMBLE ABOUT JWCT REGARDING GRIEF AND EMOTIONS AND FOUND FAMILY AND COMPLEX CHARACTERS COMING UP AHEAD WOOP WOOP !!!
i cannot stress to you enough. how much i love the way they write processing trauma. like yeah trauma is all silly and angst and whatever but it's a real thing like genuinely and it's exhausting to see shows just dismiss it over and over again but THIS SHOW I SWEAR IT'S JUST. EVERYTHING IS DONE SO SO WELL AND I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL LIKE
and not to mention that the animation SERIOUSLY DOES IT JUSTICE like the expressions are SO GOOD OH MY GOSH LIKE IT'S I'M THEY'RE YEAH THE EXPRESSIONS. ARE INCREDIBLE. that looks darius got in his eyes when he KNEW the password to brooklyn's phone and kenji didn't??? so good SO GOOD and just the way their eyes all shine before they start crying is actually done so well that if you listen carefully you can feel my heart breaking
also i love how like emotional processing is also written so much. all of them aren't afraid to cry and i feel like that's just. yeah it's beautiful. they cry soft they cry loud whatever it is they're comfortable enough to do so and if they're not they at least know they won't be judged for it ARE YOU KIDDING ME I'M GOING TO BITE A TABLE?????
the characters have flaws. i love that so much. the characters are not perfect but they're still likable and it's executed so well. darius' grief is PALPABLE and kenji's anger, albeit sometimes annoying, is so understandable that you can't actually be angry or annoyed with him because the story writing makes you understand. that's incredible. yasmina struggles with anxiety and ptsd and she gets frustrated and that is !! okay !! sammy ignores her emotions and struggles with toxic positivity but we understand *why* she talks to yasmina that way (because she's worried and scared and concerned for her girlfriend, but she's also just as worried of truly addressing what she's been through) so it's so hard to get mad at her. ben is THANJ GOODNESS not mischaracterized as a cinnamon roll and is actually a complex character with complex emotions and i can't get enough of it. he's like a pain he's so annoying sometimes but it's endearing because he reminds you of that one classmate from elementary that makes you go ohhh yeah no it's him that's fine
okay paragraph was getting long but I do have more to say about kenji. the relationships in this show are executed SO WELL and I'm beyond relieved that Kenji and Daniel's relationship was written INCREDIBLY WELL
like. okay first off the asian rep YEAHGHH IT EAS GOOD !!! WOOP WOOP YRAHAHDH HONK HONK the part about kenji saying he should get his violin after daniel was like telling his sob story was SO FUNNY OH MH GOSH
and just. kenji and daniel kon. im. like his dad was never perfect. far from it and yet kenji just he loves him so much and wants to make him proud and it makes me sick because the writing helps you UNDERSTAND why
daniel keeps giving kenji ultimatums and kenji standing up to him for once just. yeah. that was done incredibly well. and then not even ten minutes after daniel started to change and gave his son something without expecting anything in return other than his presence daniel gets eaten alive in front of him.
okay now this show holy moly i was NOT expecting daniel to just. get ripped apart but um YEAH THAT HAPPENED and the grief was written so well I cannot stress this enough. I loathe in movies and shows when they skim past traumatic deaths and just act like the grief is just non existent and this show does an incredible job at showing that it is VERY MUCH STILL THERE and it makes people out there who are struggling feel a little less crazy and that's so beautiful
i've been a benrius enthusiast since day one and honestly at this point i just hope everything goes well for them moving on. brooklyn's death and Darius coping with her grief was done SO SO WELL and honestly okay as much as i love sibling-type dinostar i think rewatching scenes with the lens that he was in love with her just makes it hurt so much and it's just. yeah. it's written well.
I will say that I think the story could have gone on without Darius confessing his love to Brooklyn, and the scene where Kenji asked Darius about the voicemails could have been used solely as a chance to highlight grief. another way the scene could have gone was if kenji sifted through the voicemails and just heard Darius's voice shatter in a way he's never quite heard it or listened to darius blame himself and that could have been a moment for kenji to realize that grief isn't something people should deal with alone, that *he* shouldn't deal with grief alone
regardless i really do think the idea that Darius was in love with Brooklyn was done really well. I don't know a better way for kenji to have figured out the truth, and for that I am grateful :D!! I hope the hardcore shippers don't get too mad though 😭
also I absolutely loved the lady with the whistle. she's cool. her character design is terrifying and the way she treats the dinosaurs reminds me a of a queen that is very fond of her workers like 😭 she's cool but also i would never want her within a 100 mile radius of me
the found family in this show is actually. yeah. it makes me cry because it's just done so well because it doesn't idealize perfect relationships. there are awkward moments, there are sad moments, characters still feel broken and alone despite having people who've actively said that they'd go to the moon and back for them. it's realistic and it's written beautifully
I think Darius might actually be the character with The Writing ever. his grief and his nostalgia, his awkwardness and fascination with learning and his kindness are all things that exist together and I am so so grateful for that. he's allowed to laugh and make jokes while feeling constant, looming guilt. he is fascinated with learning while also struggling to feel like he deserves to be happy, he enjoys learning about dinosaurs while also being terrified of them on the worst days. he feels guilty and feels like a bad person. but he's loved and he's cared for. can you tell he's my favorite now because
enamored with yasmina and sammy as always. they are just the girlfriends ever and i love so much how openly they communicate with each other. sammy apologizes when she makes mistakes, yasmina doesn't hold it against her. they're always at each other's sides and their love isn't conditional. i love them SO MUCH
okay sorry im making this about darius again but this guy actually is The character ever. I don't think I've ever felt so seen in a character and i just yeah the writers are incredible because all of the characters are written to feel relatable, and if not that, to feel real. it was just a huge comfort to me to know that okay im not crazy for feeling this way because of a character, who was written and animated by dozens and dozens of creators was allowed to be written this way, i'm not messed up in the head, im just processing emotions and it's okay that I need help for that
THIS SOUNDS SO CRINGE I AM SO SORRY
but yeah i. i love this show.
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anisscarletstarlet · 2 days
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nsfw, james kelly
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Ever since you started dating James he has been nothing but soft, gentle and passionate. He made sure to never hurt you, constantly asking if you were okay, if you felt good, if he felt good. Praises would roll off his tongue, accompanied by the sweetest of nicknames. 
“Feel good, baby?” he had you on your back, back arched as he made sure to watch the way your face contorted. He wanted to pick up on your every move, the slight pinch of your eyebrows, the way your eyes got extra glassy when he hit that one spot, and the nod of your head in response to his question. “Doing so good, dolly. Shit- making me feel so good”
And as much as you loved it, you couldn't help but wish he’d be more rough sometimes. You knew he had it in him, you noticed the way he had to visibly hold himself back from moving right away, the way he had to slow himself down when his thrusts got too erratic and his grip too tight. You wondered what would make him finally snap, fuck you hard and rough the way you had craved ever since you got your car fixed at his automobile shop, sweat dripping off his temple, his rough fingers covered in oil, arms flexing against the taught fabric of his overalls as he held your hood open. 
You never thought that the time he’d finally give you what you’ve been craving would come as a result of pure frustration. He had knocked on your door late at night, the frustration evident in his movements, his lips crashing into yours the moment you opened the door.
“What happened?” you tried asking between kisses as he pushed you inside, his hands already moving under your shirt. 
“Can’t tell you about it” he seemed to deem that response enough because he let his lips drop to your neck, nipping and sucking on whatever skin he could get his mouth on. At a particularly hard bite you hissed, your hands flying to grip his hair, making him pull back completely. “Fuck, I’m so sorry baby. I’m sorry” 
“No- James” you sighed, trying to figure out how to say it while being as vague as possible, already embarrassed. “It- That felt good”
 “Felt good- what, does my baby want to get roughed up?” the realization on his face was priceless, his entire body pressed up against yours, his hand holding your face so you couldn’t look away. “Tell me, doll, is that it? Fucking say it, and I’ll give it to you”
“Just a bit- please Jamie” you pleaded, your eyes wide, hoping the nickname would make him give in.
“Don’t gotta tell me twice, baby”
・───・・✦・・───・
A/N: asks/requests are open
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yooglefics · 1 day
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The casual type: 02 . The guys are annoying
Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader  Wordcount: 3,252 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ?????. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. And fluff for cute friends.  Summary:  ( Series ) • Hobi and his girlfriend set you up with a friend of hers to help with whatever happened months back. However, no one really expected things to end the way they did. ( Ep. 02 ) • Deciding to move on from the blind date, you go to a party with your friends expecting to have some fun, but things take a turn after a confession is made. More warnings under read more.
Warnings ( for this chapter ): People drinking. People fighting, don't worry, no one gets hurt physically, just some feelings. So I guess also: some angst and comfort. Author's note: Last chapter hit 100 notes yesterday, so I thought I’d drop this as a thank you to all who commented, liked and reblogged, it means a lot <3 Let me know what you think about this one and as always, thank you for reading!
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Hearing Ms. Han talk about the syllabus and grading system is particularly boring today. Not only have you heard and read pretty much the same information numerous times just the first week of your second year at university, but friday night's events keep replaying in your head and provide much better entertainment.
Until you get to the part where Yoongi rejects you and walks you back into the bar, of course.
Frustrated scribbles appear on your notebook once again and you add little question marks around it for good measure. An accurate representation of your emotion, perhaps you can turn it in as one of your assignments this semester.
At lunch, you make your way to the cafeteria, joining Jimin and Taehyung at your usual table in the corner right by the big windows. They acknowledge your presence with a smile in your direction and you return it sitting down.
“How was your date last friday?” Jimin is the first to ask, but you know both want to know.
“As good as blind dates go,” keeping details out is your strategy.
But Taehyung isn’t having it. “What did you guys talk about? Did you dance?”
Thankfully Hoseok and Jungkook arrive to your rescue, the youngest one leaving a food tray in front of you before taking a seat to your right. Neither of you remembers exactly when it started, but sometime in highschool you agreed that whoever arrived first would get lunch for the both of you.
“Mai wants to know if you guys want to go to a party on friday.”
“If you guys go, I’ll go,” is always Tae’s answer.
“Whose party? The sports guys are throwing one too and not to be biased b–”
“You’re biased, but we forgive you,” Jimin interjects Jungkook and everyone laughs because is true.
“Well, it's the first party of the semester so it’ll be epic. I think we should go.”
Parties organized by a bunch of athletes wouldn’t be your thing if only for the fact that your best friend is a member of the soccer team and the group pretty much gets a special invite by association.
“She says that’s fine if she is allowed to come,” Hobi says, eyes still on his phone. “And if she can bring someone, a student here.”
Jungkok nods, “Just give me their names to put them on the list for nice drinks.”
“She has a friend that goes here? Why haven’t we been introduced?” Jimin asks before you can.
“Yeah, Yoongi. He just transferred.”
Your head picks up at the name. Looking at Hobi to ask why he didn’t let you on that information when they set up the date. Before you kissed him and got rejected making a fool of yourself.
“Wait, wasn’t that your—” 
“I have to go check something about my room assignment,” you stand up before Tae can finish his question. Or starts an interrogation, per se. “See you later.”
There are things you actually have to do, so you don’t feel completely bad about running away from the conversation. And maybe this school year you should add making a female friend to your vision board because having to deal with a bunch of guys keeps proving to be difficult at times.
Quicker than you would like, friday rolls around and so does the afternoon and the party. Jungkook reminds in the group chat that someone has to drive you since he’s busy helping with setting up and Hobi replies with a time you should be ready at, so he can pick you up after going to Mai’s.
You sit cross-legged on the bed your roommate is supposed to occupy doing your make-up, different products set around you trying to decide what, and even if, you should add something else. With a dramatic sight, you declare that as another reason why having a roommate (and hopefully a friend) to share the place with, would be nice. For now, Jimin is the best help you can get and your phone buzzes with his answer to the pic you just sent, telling you to add the sparkly eye shadow he helped you choose last time at the mall. You thank him and do as told.
While putting everything away, wasting time while waiting for Hobi, the red translucent tub of cherry lip gloss caughts your eyes and before you can start another indecisive spiral that would need Jimin's help, you apply it to your lips and throw it into your bag just in case. Telling yourself that you’ve decided to be open to whatever life gave you even before the kiss with Yoongi happened, and a university party is the first place you should be prepared for anything.
Relief washes over you when Yoongi isn’t in the car with Mai and Hobi, glad you don’t have to spend time with him around the cavity-induced couple. And Mai calms your curiosity about her friend’s whereabouts even when you don’t wonder out loud, saying he is already there.
You hang out with your friends for a couple of hours, but getting nasty looks from the ones who are trying their luck with them turns from funny to annoying rather quickly tonight, and you wonder if it is going to get worse as the semesters go on. Or maybe is you who is becoming less immune to it all.
“Can I get you a refill, sweetie?” recognizing the voice is the only reason you aren’t mad at the pet name straight away. Instead, the corners of your mouth turn up into a smile.
“If you would be so kind, please.”
And he is. Bogum always is. You met him last year, and even after turning down a date invitation because you thought he was making fun of you, he didn’t push, nor stop talking to you or being nice, like others of his teammates have done after rejection. Bo is kind, and sometimes you wish he would invite you out again.
While Bogum reaches the fridge’s door and takes a bottle of beer, you take the rest of the one in your hand and leave the empty bottle on the counter the basketball player was just leaning in.
He opens the beer with the help of his keyring before handing it to you. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem, sweetie,” he smiles, dimple flashing. “Oh, your eyes sparkle!”
You giggle at the surprise in his voice. “Yeah, is the eyeshadow. Isn’t it cute?”
“Yes. They are.”
Is your turn to be surprised, turning away in an attempt to hide your blush, and mentally thanking Jimin for his advice. Maybe tonight would end with—
Yoongi?
Brown eyes look your way from the other side of the kitchen island. Closing the alcohol bottle, he nods when they catch yours. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Oh, hey,” Bo’s attention is finally taken away from you, “Yoongi’s new, he is trying for the team. This is—”
“Y/n” Yoongi finishes.
“You know each other?”
“Something like that. His friend is Hobi’s girlfriend,” you explain before Yoongi can say anything else.
“Mai?” You nod, and the next question is directed at Yoongi. “So, are you like… close with Hoseok and the guys?”
“Mostly Hobi, but yes, I would say we are friends.”
“O-okay,” Bo nods twice in understanding, before excusing himself to check on the drinks supply outside and leaving you two alone in the kitchen. Is not even his team’s party, so you find it a little odd at first before blaming it on his kind personality, and assuming he is probably just helping.
Sipping your beer, your eyes lose Bogum in the crowd and go back to Yoongi and his grin behind the red cup.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he dismissed, but the feeling of you missing out on something is even bigger now.
“Why do you look like the Cheshire cat, then?”
“Of all the cats you had to compare me to him?” he makes a face, as if that is the most important thing now. “He is creepy.”
“Spill it out. You clearly know something.”
“Oh… you don’t?”
Eyes narrowed, can’t tell if he is making fun of you or not. Is frustrating. Not only him but the feeling of being out of the loop. That’s the only thing you hate sometimes about hanging just with the guys, when they get all secretly about their hookups and what not, changing the topic when you are in the room. You get it, they get nervous and respect you, even overprotect you with those things, but it doesn't matter how hard they try, or maybe you just got really good at it, you still catch their silent communication. The looks thrown that mean an inside joke.
“Boys are annoying,” you murmur, frustrated.
“So you do know? He just cares about you.”
“Who?”
“Hobi…?”
“What?” confusion lasts a few seconds, washed away when the conversation with Bogum plays back in your head. The mention of Hobi before he excused himself. And…
Oh.
Oh, no.
Heck no.
Feet move before you realize, Yoongi’s voice feeding out as you push past people who don’t seem to even notice and just a couple who throw you an annoyed look when you walk between them. You don’t care, the only thing on your mind is finding your friend.
And there he is, in the middle of the improvised dance floor that is normally a living room. “Come with me,” you request pulling on his arm.
“Did something happen? Are you okay?”
You don't answer, reserving explanations until you're in the hallway away from the music.
“Y/n, what happened?”
“What did you say to him?”
“To whom?”
“Bogum. What did you tell him?”
“I-I don't know,” Hoseok is avoiding your eyes now, a clear indication of being caught on something. “What did he say?”
“Well,” trying to calm down, you take a breath before continuing, “he said my eyes are pretty and then—” 
“What happened?” Asks Jimin, appearing at the hallway’s entrance followed by Taehyung.
“Are you fighting? Why are you fighting?”
“Hoseok did something and doesn't want to tell me,” perhaps having the others on your side to put pressure on the dancer would be a good strategy.
“What did you do?” Taehyung asks and not even three seconds of silence go by before he continues, “oh… she found out.”
“You knew?!” To heck being calm. “You were all on it? What's wrong with you guys?!”
“It's all on me, don't blame them.” Hobi defenses, his voice much softer than yours.
“No, no. Even if we found out after, we agreed it was a good idea, babe. I'm sorry.” Jimin corrects, and an apology by Tae follows.
“What did you say to him?” You insist.
“Listen, after that night,” Hoseok begins, referring to that spring night you cried in his living room until your head hurt and then some more because of the headache. Just the memory makes you squirm a little. “I knew something went on with one of them, and I knew you wouldn't tell me but also that I couldn't let it happen again. That I wasn't going to let it happen. So…” he pauses, looking at the others before coming back to you, “I told them to better not get close to you.”
Your mouth opens and closes a few times in shock, “To the whole team?!” Is your first question because, well, is he insane?
“I guess? It was at practice so most of them were there.”
“And the ones who weren't found out later. Word travels fast and even faster if it's about someone threatening to break their noses for messing with a girl.” Taehyung adds, taking your attention away from Hobi.
“Is that what this is about? Me being a girl?” You argue, “because that's bullshit! And misogynistic. Why can you go to parties and kiss whoever without me making a big deal? Why do you get to tell people to not talk to me, and they actually listen, but I have to sit in class hearing about my hot friends? Or even give advice on how to talk with you guys?” Glancing around at them, your arms fall to your sides, defeated, “Do you have any idea how many people have tried to befriend me just so they could be close to you?”
Three pairs of eyes are on you, making you incredibly aware of the volume of your voice over the music playing through the walls, being a few rooms over making it softer than in the living room, and you can't tell if it's the alcohol or the anger making you go on that rant, the only thing that you're sure about is the pain on your chest and the tears threatening to fall.
Ever the proudest, you refuse to cry in front of them. Not this time.
“Whatever. Go back to shove your tongue down someone's throat and then don't tell me about it.” Pushing between Jimin and Taehyung you leave your friends in the hallway, holding your beer in a fist to prepare to cross the sea of sweaty people once more.
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The breeze of cold air is interrupted, and you complain out loud, sure that the probably drunk student isn't going to pay attention anyway.
You're sitting on the sidewalk in front of the soccer house, hands on your knees and head on top of them, thinking about calling Jungkook and asking him to take you home. Good thing you didn't freak out on him. 
But maybe you should. He probably knew too.
You groan again, lifting your head ready to ask whoever to move so you can keep enjoying the night's breeze and calm down, but your complaint stays in your throat when Yoongi and his leather jacket welcome you to reality.
“For a second I thought you were sleeping,” left corner of his mouth curves up slightly.
“It would be a nightmare.”
“Are you saying that because is me or because of whatever happened inside?” You don't answer, and he continues, “Hobi is looking for you.”
“Yeah? And he sent you over? Apparently you're best friends now.” The annoyance in your voice is even surprising to you, so when his smile fades you don't blame him.
“He just told me to keep an eye out for you, tell him if I saw you.”
“You did?” You gesture to the phone in his hand.
“Not yet. I wanted to apologize first.”
Another pause, and you don't move while he sits down by your side.
After Hobi’s confession and the fact that Yoongi appeared to know back in the kitchen, you wonder if your friend also said something to him, if that's the reason he pushed you away last week.
“I don't need an apology, I just want people to be honest,” you look at him, “can you do that?” 
“I want to give you one, though. So, I'm sorry,”  he offers, sincerely “and yes, I promise to be honest.”
“Thank you.” The wind blows your hair, and you tuck it back behind your ear before questioning, “Did he threaten you too? Is that what the apology is about? why you said you couldn't do casual with me?”
“Kind of. I mean, he didn't ask me to stay away, he and Mai planned the date, after all,” is true so you nod. “But he told me about what he did and why he did it, and I… I couldn't bring myself to have something like that with you and it turning out bad.”
“Because you are scared of Hobi?” You scoff. Stupid boys.
“No. Because I didn't want you to get hurt.” He looks at you, “I don't know the details, but for Hobi to act like that it sounded like it was bad, whatever happened. And I'm just a guy, but I've had my heart broken too and don't want to cause that pain to anyone.”
“I'm not gonna get my heart broken because you don't want something serious, Yoongi.” Yes, you were upset he cut you off that day, but he told you he didn't want a relationship since the beginning so you knew not to take it seriously. To take responsibility if you did.
“Still. You can't really be mad if people try to look out for you, can you?”
“Is… is not that. Is about people not even letting me make my own choices,” you correct. “Is authoritarian and patronizing. And coming from my friends? It feels like they don't even know me.”
“I see…” Yoongi gives you a small smile that makes you realize the tiny pout on your lips. “But as someone who has been on bad nights with his best friend crying over stupid boys, sometimes it feels impotent and we want to make it all better. Even if that means threatening the whole university.”
“Are you on their side, then?”
“I'm just saying that I understand both sides. And that guys can be erratic and dumb when it comes to protecting the people we care about. But, if you ask me, you have the right to call us out. Because again, we are dumb,” that gets a smile from you.
“I think I got too far, though,” you admit, feeling bad now. Yoongi is right, even if it was dumb, your friends had good intentions. They just need a better way of protecting you.
“I heard you guys fought.”
“More like I screamed at them and ran off.”
“Was that on purpose? So they would be worried?”
“What? No. Of course not.” You're quick to deny, the simple idea of it is absurd to you.
“Well, then maybe you should answer their calls and tell them you're okay. They are worried about you.”
And that seems to be the night's theme, but you're confused because your phone hasn't been ringing all this time. Wondering if perhaps you accidentally put it on silent, you take it out of your bag only to realize the battery is dead.
“Damn it.”
“Here,” Yoongi offers you his, Hobi’s contact information on the screen.
“Thanks,” you smile, calling and putting the phone against your ear, covering the other one so you can hear over the noises around the garden.
“Hey, did you see her? Can you stay–”
“Hey,” you cut him off, “is me.”
“Oh, is her!” Mai's content voice after he announced is barely audible and you're glad she was by his side. But also feel bad about worrying her too. “Where are you? Are you okay?”
“I'm fine. I'm outside. I wasn't going to go anywhere else in the middle of the night by myself, I'm not dumb,” oh, you're still angry.
“I know. I know you aren't. I was just worried.”
“I know, I'm sorry.”
“No, no. I'm sorry, it's my fault. I'm so sorry.”
He sounds genuine and the worry in his voice gets to you, incapable of being as mad as before.
“I… think we should talk about it. Like, the whole thing.” You hope he knows you mean including the night months back, “but not here and not tonight.”
“Of course, whenever you want.” He pauses, “Want me to take you home? Or talk with Bogum and come back?”
You smile at the last suggestion, “Thanks, but no. I'll ask Yoongi to take me.” You look at him, still sitting at your side, and he nods.
“Will do. And I'll text him when we arrive.”
“You heard that?”
“Yes. Tell him I say thank you.”
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Author's note: I'm accepting theories on what you think happened with Reader and about anything, to be honest, just would like to know what you think, so hop to the askbox asdf <3 ♡ Tag list: @n33mesis , @mggv97 , @wobblewobble822 , @bbou-doir , @m00njinnie , @nariee02 , @sexytholland , @itsmina29 , @ktownshizzle .
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➪ The squad. | ➪ 01 | ➪ 03 | ➪ Updates and thoughts for this verse | ♡ Tag list info ( you can also ask to just be tagged on this series ) ➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Updates in general | ➪ Request & chats
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faetreides · 9 hours
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- # 🍁 THE NEMEAN LION !!
feels so ugly when i’m honest
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cw: afab reader, ambiguous era, dubcon coded, insp. by this ask, patrick and reader have noncon somno fantasies about the other (so rlly it’s more cnc), patrick is gross and mean, situationship/roommate!patrick, unprotected p in v sex & relying on the pull out method, weed mention and wine mention, art guest star appearance (patrick mentions him), oral (afab reader receiving), hints of: foot fetish, dacryphilia, cnc in general, plus sized!reader, mythological themes, 3k words of me losing my marbles, one use of daddy, we don’t gotta be in love you knowweeeeee i don’t gotta be the oneeee you knowweeeeeeeeew
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You’re making him crazy, Patrick knows it. He shouldn’t spend his mornings humping his pillows that you hold in your lap during movie nights. He definitely shouldn’t be stealing your panties and strangling his cock with the lacey fabric that’s going to end up smelling so foul from how much he’ll use the same pair over and over. He thinks he can catch your scent on his clothes when you’ve never actually been close enough to leave a reminder of you behind. Sometimes Patrick gets so frustrated with continuing at this same snail’s pace that he wishes he could just grab your face and smush it into his musky crotch. He’d let you go if you were about to pass out, maybe. You can’t get shit twisted if you’re unconscious.
He’s telling you another one of his stories, hoping to see a twinge of… something swirling in your irises. You just hum too much and squirm a bit, ever the overactive listener. Patrick would cut off his balls if it meant that he could hear anything resembling a moan from you, not just little signs that you’re listening and not speaking. The transformer movie’s reached a point where you don’t really have to pay attention, so you cutely shuffle your mess of blankets around on the couch so you can give Patrick your undivided attention. He’s had to start keeping space in his closet for the large throw blankets you bring along even though you refuse to let him turn the fan off.
“Yeah, I was with Art actually. We ate each other out back in the day, y’know, to see what it was like. He sat on my face and fuckin’ almost broke my neck, his thighs were gripping me so tight.” He coyly tilts his head to the side, pretending to be shy about the whole thing.
He narrows his eyes and analyzes your reaction. You dart your gaze around the room for a split second, struggling to tamper down the blossoming warmth in your stomach and the insecurity that comes with never being able to catch up with Patrick. You’ve confessed to it a couple times, usually after a couple of bottles of whatever cheap alchohol he’s got on hand. His nails shred into his palms with the effort it takes not to give you something to talk about, even if you think they’re only dreams.
“When was the first time someone ate you out? I can’t be the only one shoving my foot in my mouth here.”
God, what he’d give to have your feet in his mouth, and vice versa.
You play with the fluffy black blanket in your lap, making eye contact with one of the cartoon nutcrackers on it and not Patrick as you answer his question. “Oh… I’ve actually never been eaten out, maybe that’s why no one’s made me cum.”
It’s a like his world has been hit by an unexpected asteroid and blown to smithereens, bits of membrane and curdled dna scattered across the milky way. The gross-ness imbued in his bone marrow leaks out into vaccum of space as he processes this truly fucking suprising piece of information. Never in his life has Patrick been told something that just can’t be true, not when there are still good things in the world. Not when that helpful little tidbit will split him open and take over his every waking and sleeping thought.
He shakes his head, blinking rapidly. “What? What the hell do you mean no one’s ever eaten your pussy?”
“I, I don’t know. The people I've been with have just never gone out of their way to do it and I didn't make a big deal out of it.”
His heart’s breaking in half and you clearly have no idea. Patrick scrambles to sit up and grabs your hands to stop them from fiddling with the blanket anymore. There are a thousand things he wants and needs and just has to say but all he can do in the present moment is keep shaking his head and crowding you against the right arm of his tattered gray couch.
“Then they’re so fucking stupid, I can’t believe you don’t know what it feels like to have a tongue up your cunt.” He states, a firm declaration that has you throwing out a hand on his bicep to ground yourself.
Patrick looks crazed above you, dark hair impossibly soft and pupils steadily expanding outward. You slide your hand up his arm (trying to ignore the muscle there, what it’d be like when they flex as he picks you up by your ass) to place it on his firm chest. You open your mouth, trying to cobble together any kind of response you can think of but your mind is blank. Patrick seizes the opportunity and smahes his mouth against yours, when the clashing of your lips is over there’s more blood than spit. He flicks his tongue out to catch the little drops of blood dripping from your lips, moaning after he swallows each one.
You’re catching your breath, “You… you can’t… just do that.”
He rolls his eyes and grins, “I did. I can hear you through the walls at night you know? Rubbing your pussy on one of my pillows that you think I don't know you stole, crying for me.”
Damn, that’s what you get for making risky decisions while you’re ovulating. You knew you washed it and should’ve snuck in while he was out to throw it on his plaid comforter and act like it never happened. The longer you kept it stuffed between your plush thighs, smothering it in the natural scent of your pussy, the more your shyness grew. It was easier to spend your nights like that then explore the possibility of doing something else with your time, but now you’re just wishing that you hopped on Patrick’s stupidly huge dick while he was passed out and snoring and called it a day.
“I… I’m sorry, okay? You can have it back.” You say and keep the grumpiness out of your tone, having to come to terms with hoarding nothing that smells like him anymore.
“Just shut up and be happy, be good for me.” He punctuates it with a mean squeeze to your face, slowly sliding his hand down to hang around your throat and falling to his knees in front of the couch.
Maybe it’s the cheap white wine, maybe it’s the subpar edible you had earlier, but you throw caution to the wind and sink your fingers into Patrick’s hair. Your breath happily flies out of your lungs when he pushes your knees apart, coaxing your white lace panties off with his teeth. The bright lights from the TV cast a glow around him, and you hate how pretty he looks. Like if Hercules was a modern porn star, muscles rippling and eyes spearing through you as he catapults you to the stars.
The roughness of his fingers feels heavenly as he smooths them down your inner thighs, “Nice and fat pussy, dripping all over the place. Saying hi, right? It’d be rude of me to not say anything back.”
So he does, spitting right on your clit and spreading it all over your pussy. Patrick shuffles closer and takes several big lungfuls, humping the air with every whiff of your artificial body wash combined with your much more attractive musk. He opens his mouth wide and latches onto your soaking folds, flattening his tongue and licking broad stripes up your cunt. He laps up your juices sloppily, almost wagging his tongue wildly in an effort to suck up whatever he can.
There’s a coil forming in the pit of your stomach, winding tighter and tighter with every swipe of Patrick’s wet tongue. Your face flames in embarrassment once again, you don’t really know if you look bad from his point of view but you can’t stop yourself from throwing your head back against the couch and scrunching your face up. He gives your asshole an open mouthed kiss, half to tease you even further and half because he just couldn’t resist. It was glistening and winking at him and everything.
“Fuck! Fuck! That’s so- how are you so good at this?” You mewl, raking through his hair thoroughly like you’re searching for something you lost.
Patrick’s ego grows in size and he smiles as he moves to your clit, hollowing his cheeks and suckling rapidly. He buries his face in your pussy and drinks you down in several gulps, picking up speed when you resign yourself to telltale moans about much you need to cum. He flicks the tip of his tongue against your swollen clit and slows down right when you’re apart to fall over the edge. He actually chuckles into your mound and winks when you glare at him. He cuts off whatever bratty retort you armed yourself with by going back to nearly inhaling your clit without warning.
“Ungh- I really-really fucking hate you, but don’t you dare stop, I’ll kill you.”
Each suck sends pulses shooting up your core, and that scary coil in the depth of your guts tightens blissfully. You squirm, the very definition of a hot mess as you grind against his face. The friction was never enough but you keep corralling his nose into your pubic hair, fruitlessly rutting your hips with no end goal other than the urge to hump whatever’s available. You panic for a second that you’ll suffocate him or he’ll be grossed out by you not shaving, but you shouldn’t underestimate him. If anything, Patrick groans at the heady smell. Getting it straight from the source and fucking the air during his suckling.
His eyes never stray from you. Your agonized face straight out of a renaissance painting, too strung out and burning with pleasure to resemble anything normal. Your thick thighs, jiggling with every move you make, you can’t seem to decide between humping his mouth like a bitch in heat or trying to squeeze his head like a watermelon. Your sounds, wails and cries and moans and whines, he’ll have to record you next time, play it anytime and anywhere in case you misunderstand what this is. The first documentation of how much cum and fluid you can paint him in, whatever color or thickness you’ve got for him. He’ll wring it all out of you eventually, film a home movie series to chronicle every squirting session and the like.
Gun to his head, you taste like those old fashioned butterscotch hard candies. Decadent and sweet, if he could he’d sink his teeth into the slippery supple flesh and pull and rip.
After several rounds of cruel edging, your brain whites out so hard, you can almost form the blurry shapes in your peripheral vision into a red spiked tail and horned wings. Patrick’s ruining you entirely, you know that now, and the movie’s already over but you don’t spare the scrawling credits more than a weary glance. Your soul is probably cartoonishly swimming through the putrid air towards your body, but your sweaty body is shaking too much to receive it. There’s a ringing in your ears as you blink yourself into awareness, Patrick unbuckles his jeans and a blunt pressure stretches your hole out.
“Sorry, ‘m out of condoms, I’ll pull out, baby.” He huffs out, praying to whatever’s listening that he doesn’t just start pummeling your shit.
You feel your stomach bunching up before you see Patrick’s dick disappearing into you. The feeling of being split open on something so thick has you reeling, no one else you’ve been with has left you spiraling quite like this. In a room full of dicks you’d be able to spot his, you’d just have to find the one that has the back of your throat tingling and going dry just from a sniff and a look. You’d cry if he pulled out now, it’s already too late for you. This is such a stupid decision, sloppy rough sex with your roomate-turned-situationship on his worn out couch that’s older than the both of you combined.
It’s one hell of a story, and maybe some moments in life should be allowed to boil down to that. The hand loosely wrapped around your throat tightens its hold, you welcome the thumb pushing into your mouth without prompting. The depravity of it all makes you feel owned, has you seriously considering living your life as some guy’s exclusive pet whore. The ‘squelch’s and the ‘schlick’s that come with his savage thrusts and milk white strings connecting the base of his cock to your puffy pussy.
Every breath you think you’re going to be able to take, he steals from you and mocks your whimpery “unh-unh-unh~”’s in his raspy mid-fuck voice.
“This is the only dick you’ll be hanging off of from now on, got it? Can’t let some lousy jackass try to sew his balls to this pussy when it’s not even gonna cream around him.” You say yes to that hissed demand, yes of course, Daddy.
Patrick plunges his cock to the hilt into your cunt in one sharp stroke, gasping and gripping your hip to distract himself from the way your walls are clenching around his length. Every part of you is greedy apparently, you’re perfect for each other then. The position he has you in is so filthy, he’s standing and hosting your legs up over his shoulders, folding you in half on the couch. His dirty levi’s pool around his feet and the sound of his belt hitting the floor inspires awful thoughts in you. Your sweat mixes together and trickles down your legs, sticking to his leg hair.
You can have it soft once he’s gotten this demon off his back and out of his system, you can ride him while you’re cozied up in bed, lazily rolling your hips until you get tired a couple minutes later and clinging to the caresses on your love handles. Patrick has to destroy something before he can even stand to think about putting it back together, your insides and you yourself are no exception. Your walls feel like the finest quality silk around his throbbing cock, leaking inside of you as he clutches onto your ankles. The TV’s automatically shut off by now, and the lack of background noise enhances his animalistic grunts and deep moans.
“Gonna fuck your tits next time, fuck-what the fuck-you’re too damn tight, massage them for you after, rub your cunt raw-“
Patrick fucks like he’s staking claim on a spoil of war, you’re learning, as if the pale ferryman’s hot on his heels and this sliver of time is the only sacred thing he’ll ever get in his wretched mortal life. All his, gone limp between bloody jaws and killing hands. He snarls in your face as he pounds your pussy, angling his hips to stab deeper in you than should be medically possible. You don’t when you start tearing up, but Patrick does nothing to wipe away your tears, not even lick them up. He just fucks you to the point where you’re crying, shutting his eyes as he throws his head back so you can’t see that he’s crying too. The both of you borrow from different sources of emotion.
“You sounded so scared when you were cumming, made my balls twitch, was cute.” Patrick tells you in between messy kisses, more focused on almost eating your face than properly locking lips with you.
His tongue hangs out of his mouth as he abruptly yanks himself out of you and lavishes your belly in ropes after ropes of cum. You’d reach down to dip a finger in and taste it, but you’re too annoyed at the thought that he’s depriving you of an orgasm again. You haven’t even decided whether you’re going to pout or flatbout get up and leave when Patrick’s sliding home once more. You give him a punched out gasp, sort of pained and kind of relieved, in response. He hisses through his teeth, grinding them together like it’s burning the flesh on his cock to plunge back into your searing pussy. Actively breaking and remaking you. Both of your muscles tense up as the wave threatens to crash over you.
“You can cry some more, if you want, I'd like that a lot. Beg me to save you from what I’m doing to you, to this tight pussy.”
Happy or sad, doesn’t matter. He knows you like it when he keeps you from fighting back, you suit being manhandled and made to take dick better than anyone else he’s slummed it with.
He hunches his back forward to kiss you again, and you claw red stripes down it as your tongue maps out every inch of his mouth. He pulls back and you spend several seconds like that sharing breath. You don’t realize what you’re saying out loud, things like ‘Holy shit you’re so fucking big-so good-it’s so fucking good’ and ‘Feels better than i thought it would, how is that even possible?’ It’s like your own little sex obsessed podcast, centering every episode around how situationship dick is on another level and will irrevocably destroy you. Patrick chuckles, he can’t wait to hold every treasured compliment from you over your head. You could say you’re done with whatever this is when he leaves the toilet seat up again but he’ll never forget you howling for him and his cock to never leave you.
Patrick will swing himself over the net into overstimulation before the next time your pussy’s clamping down on his thick cock and spasming, but he’ll be damned if you’re not gonna end up passed out and drooling while the sun rises. You can spend future movie nights cockwarming him, if you can stand to endure the sickeningly perfect stretch without being allowed to get your cunt beat. You’re mewling when you froth the base of his dick again, your walls pulse around him like you’re a cat laving up your favorite cream. Tonight’s not the night where you’ll be getting it straight from the source, maybe when you’re willing to take certain risks. His smiles are the most genuine when you drag out your whine to follow the speed in which he pulls out to paint your body. Tangy ribbons hanging over your love handles and dripping down to your ass cheeks.
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absolutebl · 1 day
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This Week in BL - Well... at lease we have Wandee & Stand-in?
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
May 2024 Wk 4
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 4 of 12 - The geept is strong with this one AKA Yak CAN flirt. Wandee now knows he isn’t the only one with a crush on someone else. AND YET they are SO DAMN CUTE together. I do wonder sometime if Yak is running a counter con with Dee pretending to have a crush on Taem. Meanwhile, mad props on the HPV vax public service! Good for them!!! Now that's my kind of product placement. I do have a feeling the sad bit with these two is gonna be VERY sad and last longer than we like. 
My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 eps - It’s a riveting show. Pleasant? No. Riveting? Yes. Tiny crumbs for Ming’s assistant. Joe is best boy. That is all. I LOVE this show.
We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 8 of 16 - TOO MANY SOUND EFFECTS. Omg get your fingers off those buttons you computer wanking sound dude (you know it’s a dude) what tf do you think this is? Lovely Writer? Also, they left ALL their drinks! Can you not walk and drink at the same time in a BL? Meanwhile not much happened that hadn’t already happened AKA bit of a filler ep. That said, the friendship group stuff is glorious!!! Also this brand of super gentle flirting suits PondPhuwin better than any of their prior rolls. It reminds me of how much I think they suit a historical. There is a gentle dignity to these two. 
Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I love how kindly the turn down was. But most of the dancing stuff was dull. I don’t know I just find the actor playing Kang pretty vacant of appeal I guess. 
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - As is not uncommon with JBL I’m being to get frustrated with Yuki the Uke. Sigh. I’m probably gonna stay that way for several episodes given the pacing of this show. 
Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Also frustrating. Willful misunderstanding. We got us some running of the gays but boy is this drawn out. 
Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 3-4 of 6 - The puppy is a bit too much sunshine innocent for me. And the professor is a bit creepy. I don't know, I'm not loving this one like I want to.
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It's airing but...
You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.
The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS. How?
OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 2 of 10 - yeah I can't find it.
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In case you missed it
Crossing my fandoms moment, major Kpop blog ran the following: OMEGA X Hangyeom Talks Jazz For Two, Brotherhood, And More With KpopStarz
Tis the season of remakes? Both Addicted Heroin (August, my love!) and My Love Mix-Up (G4!) are coming from Thailand. I am very excited to see both. I love a Thai remake, often more than the original.
Next Week Looks Like This:
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Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
May Releases
VBL (Taiwan) is releasing 4 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 shows every Friday this month on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu. Not sure on search terms or how to find these. (Or, frankly, if we need them.)
5/10 – You Are Mine
5/17 – VIP Only
5/24 – Stay By My Side
5/31 – Anti Reset
5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer
5/30 Knock Knock Boys (Thai Thurs WeTV & Gaga) - I do love Best and I'm interested in seeing him in a new pairing. That said, I'm not wild about Seng. Still, this looks like a chaotic pulpy mess, I'm looking forward to wallowing in it one way or another.
5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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All Wandee Gooday.
Icky no longer allows screen shots or there would have been a bunch from Stand-in.
(Last week)
Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity
@rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinate wisdom doesn't like too many tags.
There's these tricks, remember:
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reallywitchycat · 22 hours
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I hate Sir Phillip Crane
So with season 3 of Bridgerton show released on Netflix I do see lots of disclosure about Eloise and her potential endgame. I see people shipping her with Theo, I see people shipping her with Cressida and I see people insisting she will end up with Sir Phillip Crane, because he is just best and he was already in season 1 and season 2. So let me just say, I would HATE if Eloise ends up with Sir Phillip because I hate Sir Phillip with passion.
First, let's start with fact that almost ALL men in Bridgerton books are toxic, misogynist and sometimes straight up abusive. But Sir Phillip Crane is worst of them all. He truly have no redeeming qualities. There are my reasons:
1.) He is horrible husband to Marina.
Yes, I am aware he did not marry her for love, but because his father forced him. BUT that is NOT excuse for his behaviour towards her! Phillip is dismissive of Marina's mental illness. And yes, in Regency period there was very little awareness of how to PROPERLY treat mental illnesses. Still, it frustrates me that he made Marina's mental illness all about himself. HE is one who have to take responsibility for his own children. (How horrible) HE is one who have to live in celibacy because his wife felt too sick to have sex. (I would rather not talk about marital rape that happened here, because it makes me sick). Not one word about how bad that situation was for Marina. Almost as he had no empathy for her.
2.) He is horrible father.
I don't want to go too hard on him here. He did have very abusive childhood. And this is ONE instance where his childhood trauma would work as sort of excuse. BUT! In book he IS biological father of twins. (And don't let anybody told you otherwise. If book Phillip is not meant to be biological father, book would be very clear about that. JQ always tell you such things very clearly). So basically. He was aware that he had no idea how to be good father and yet, with his free will, he decide to have children. And THEN complain about them ALL the time.
3.) He is horrible husband to Eloise.
ONLY reason he wants to have wife is to have someone who will take care of his children while he is playing in his greenhouse. Basically he is looking for babysitter who he can bang. He DIDN'T TELL Eloise about that! He DIDN'T TELL her about fact he has children!!! And once they got married, that is exactly how it works! ALL childcare land on Eloise of course. And Phillip gets almost angry when Eloise wanted to have an serious conversation instead of sex. Like he tells her he did not have sex in 8 years and so she is supposed to fell sorry for him and shut up ?! Worst thing is HE don't change at the end of the book! He gets to play with his plants in greenhouse and she gets … what ? sex ? … Like I don't understand WHAT they have in common.
In conclusion. Book Eloise deserves better. And show Eloise would never ever put up with him! To make show Phillip appealing love interest they would have to completely change his story and personality. At that point they could very easily go with someone completely different.
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videnoirfics · 2 days
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A Simple Favor- Raymond Smith x Reader
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Gif is not mine- Belongs to its rightful creator!
Word Count: 1292
Summary: Raymond receives a request from Mickey to find a name. And the only person he knows that can get the job done is you. Problem is, how does a former lover that ghosted you out of nowhere come back asking for a favor?
Warning: Cursing. Angst.
A/N: Problem a multiparter. Depending on how it does. Started working on this a few days ago after rewatching The Gentlemen. I just love Ray but I love me some good Angst. This is my first piece of writing that I have published in a long time! I am slowly getting back into writing. I am so nervous but hopefully it's a good read!
Happy Reading!
***
A Year.
A whole year since you've seen this Brit Bastard and now here he was at your front door. Asking for a favor. A simple Favor. Typical.
You let out a boisterous laugh as Raymond once again adjusted his glasses on his face for the 3rd time since arriving at your doorstep. "You have a favor to ask of me?" A preposterous fool. You licked your lips in frustration, already feeling the heat rising in your body.   "Well, you must have the biggest set of pearly white balls in the entire world to come here and ask me for a favor after what-a year? A whole year, Raymond?" You shifted the weight of your body to lean against the wide open front door, not allowing him entrance. He wouldn't dare ask to be let into your home would he?
He knew he was asking a lot. He knew that he was coming back with his tale tucked right in between his legs after ghosting you an entire year ago. But he knew out of all of the names he had on his roster to do this one task for him, you'd be the only one that could get this information the fastest.
Your name slipped from his lips. Almost a whisper. An ache in your heart reemerging from the locked up dungeon you had buried it into after so long. "I know that we didn't end things on a good note-" Anger flashed into your eyes as a flame was instantly lit. How fucking dare he?
"No, you fucking cunt. You! You didn't end things on a good note." You were quick to cut him off and correct.  Many people wouldn't dare talk to Raymond like such. He was a powerful man. Working for another powerful man. He had pull in these streets. But you weren't afraid of him. And you have been waiting a very long time to get this off your chest. "But whatever."  You shrugged your shoulders. "As long as you got your rocks off, yeah?"
Frustration washed over the man's face. You could tell he was running out of patience by the twitch in his eyes as he once again readjusted his glasses. You remembered the many times, you would take his glasses off, let him lay his head on your lap and you would soothe the stress away from him.
His job was demanding and sometimes lasting days, weeks before he could get time to himself. To relax. A slight twitch in your hand made you aware that deep down, you had the feelings resurface that you wanted to ease his frustration but you quickly pushed them back into lock and key. Refusing to let him see the mask slip. He didn't deserve it.
While he knew it wasn't going to be easy to convince to help him, he wasn't in the liberty of wasting time. Especially when Mickey was counting on him to get this done quickly. "Look, I need your help." He stopped beating around the bush. "And I know it's asking a lot. And I know an apology is not going to fix things but I am running out of time. Now if it makes you feel better and willing to change your mind, this isn't a request from me. It's from Mickey."
You knew Mickey. Rosalind and you were actually friends for a bit when you and Ray were courting. They were always good to you and Mickey even offered you a few side gigs for extra cash. You never felt like you owed him but if the favor was for Mickey...
"He needs you to find this name." Reaching into his jacket pocket, he retrieved a yellow sticky note paper with a name neatly printed on it. A familiar name. Your brows peaked with interest, grabbing the piece of paper into your hand, fingertips just barely touching his. The pad of your thumb ran over the name as you thought of your answer. Eyes ran the length of the man in front of you, landing on his blue eyes that you used to spend countless nights gazing into after a night of pure romance and passion. But now all he saw looking back at him was anger and sadness.
"This is for Mickey?" You questioned him. A curt nod was the answer you received. "I think I know where I can find them." Just as much as Raymond and Mickey were connected in their own ways, so were you. You had made a name for yourself from your special set of skills. You could easily talk and get as much information from anyone that you needed to get. It made you a lot of friends as well as a lot of enemies. But that came with the job. You never fret about it. And you knew what you could do. So did Raymond. Or he wouldn't be here if he didn't. If this was for Mickey, then fine. You’d help him. "Give me a day. I'll reach out to Mickey with what I can find." You responded, leaning away from the door in order to shut it. A large hand stopped you from doing so.
"I'd prefer you reach out to m-"
"And I'd prefer, I didn't." Once again, he was cut off. His fingers, spread out on the base of the front door, clawed at the wooden surface in irritation.
"Can you stop interrupting me?" Raymond was a cool and calm collected man. But boy did you know how to push his buttons. 
"Can you fuck off into another existence?" You pushed his hand away from the door. "If you want my help? We do things my way. You don't call me. You don't talk to me. I respond to Mickey because this is for him. He can tell you where to go from there." You demanded. 
“So Mickey is the middlemen. Between you and me?” You crossed your arms over your chest. 
“Never seemed to be a problem for you before…” A flashback of the night you received a call from Rosalind replaying in your mind. Your name fell from his lips again. Almost begging you to cooperate. His blue eyes. Those ocean eyes, almost hypnotizing you to drown into the pool of them without an anchor. No...not this time again. "Tell Mickey he'll hear from me in a day..."
Before he could usher another word, the door slammed shut in his face. Dry lips were bit in frustration and unspoken words were left floating in the wind.
"Fucking hell..." he sighed, his shoulders now hunched over in defeat as he retreated back to his black SUV to tell Mickey about your cooperation.
Unbeknownst to him, you were watching from the window of the living room. Peering through the sheer curtain , pressing them back to get a look at your former lover. 
You knew you shouldn't. You knew you shouldn't have even taken the job. Told him to fuck off and find someone else. But he said Mickey, and your logical brain thought it would make sense to say yes. You could see him sit in the car for a moment. Staring down at his lap, his glasses now off his face, resting on the dashboard. His left hand reached up to rub his eyes and temple. Feeling a headache approaching. You were sure of it. You knew him. More than you'd like to. But this didn't change anything. It couldn't.
You wouldn't let it.
You didn't wait to see him reverse from the driveway and leave back to the estate. Once he looked back up to your house; To the window you were just occupying, you were gone.
Sheer curtains swaying softly as they returned back to their resting position.
***
I've proofread this a few times. Hopefully I didn't make any mistakes. Like I said, probably a multi piece. Really wanted to get this out there because I just love Charlie and Ray especially is Sploosh. Anyways. Please let me know what you guys think!
Thank you for reading!
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mytragedyperson · 2 days
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Okay, but I actually am a Nico apologist, and I'm not sorry. To me, this kid did nothing wrong ever. Maybe it's because I didn't read HoH, but, I'm sorry PJO age is just how old Nico is to me, which menas by the end of HoH, he's, like 14. IDK about TOA, but to me, he's 14 at the oldest and 10 when the books begin.
So, when I look at any of the "bad" things Nico does through that lens, combined with what I know of canon, I just can't accept he did something wrong. He was a kid, who trusted the older people around him to know better and do the right thing and know what was best for everyone.
"But he betrayed Percy, he took him to Hades" - Yes, he trusted that Hades, his father, would be honest and trust-worthy and do the right thing. He trusted that his father would keep his word. He's also 12 and has very little reason to believe otherwise, considering he has no memory of his past and no reason to suspect his dad would want him, a 12 year old, to be the prophecy child.
"He didn't tell Percy about Camp Jupiter or his past"- Yes, he was told not to, i'm pretty sure by multiple people. He trusted that those people had a good reason to keep Camp Jupiter a secret, and how exactly is he supposed to tell Percy he lost his memories? What happens when Percy asks him stuff he doesn't know the answer to? How well did he even know Percy? What? He's supposed to tell him oh, hey, you're actually a Greek demigod, the son of Poseidon, and the only person you remember is your girlfriend Annabeth? Why should that ever fall to a socially awkward 13 or 14 year old, depending on the age he is? and how does he explain why Percy can't remember any of this?
"He got mad at Percy after Bianca died" - You know grief and sadness are interesting, in that sometimes they present as different emotions, like anger. Notice Nico never hurt Percy, and he never wanted to hurt him. Nico was 10 year old boy, who'd just lost his sister. He's now left alone in a world he doesn't recognise with no memories, no friends, no family, and not even the guarantee of a safe place to stay at Camp Halfblood. This is the first loss he remembers, the first time he can remember that someone older, someone who in his 10 year old mind should know better, has let him down, even if it was unintentional.
And here's the thing, I don't hate or even dislike Percy for his reactions. Are they sometimes a little harsh, particularly for accidents or things that weren't truly Nico's fault? Sure. But Percy is more or less a kid too. A teenager, but still can't be expected to just accept it.
I don't think either of them are really wrong here. Nico is trusting people, and Percy is reacting emotionally. And, again, I know Nico could have maybe mentioned Percy's past, but if he did, revealed he knew Percy before he could remember, told him about what he knows of Percy's life, who would take the brunt of Percy's frustration at not remembering? Nico.
So yeah, i am and always will be a Nico Di Angelo apologist.
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neos127 · 3 hours
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soulmates?¿ — PARK JAY; park jay x gn!reader genre. fluff, established relationship + childhood friends to lovers
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“do you believe in soulmates?” you asked one night, watching as your handsome boyfriend cooked a meal for the two of you. he knew that your week had been a bit rough and wanted to do something nice.
“that’s a random question.” jay chuckled before turning off the stove. he walked around the kitchen island to where you were sitting, taking the seat next to you. suddenly becoming shy, you turn away, letting out a nervous giggle. jay smiles at you flustered state, grabbing your chin and turning your head to face him.
“why do you ask?” he questioned, giving you his full attention. it always made you flustered whenever jay held eye contact with you, but it was nice to know that he cared about what you had to say. you sighed, suddenly becoming embarrassed. jay was never one to judge, but you began to feel as if your question was silly.
“tell me, sweetheart.” jay encouraged, a smile on his face as he tried to meet your eyes.
“sometimes i like to believe that soulmates exist…especially when it comes to you.” you replied, your voice soft but jay picked up on every word.
sometimes the idea felt a bit silly, but you truly did think that jay was your soulmate. the two of you met when you were kids back in seattle and instantly clicked. you were basically attached at the hip, a bond so secure that your parents were sure that the two of you would get married in the future. but then, you had to move. your family needed to take care of a relative in korea causing you to leave you whole life back in washington, leaving jay. you were devastated, going through your first heartbreak at a young age.
as you got older, jay became more of a distant thought. someone you would remember randomly at night before you went to bed. the image of him would pass by in your head and you would smile, but as quickly as it came it would leave. he wasn’t apart of your life anymore— or so you thought.
you were nearly late to your first class of the day at university, stopping by the vending machine to grab a rice ball to munch on. unfortunately, the machine wasn’t taking your money and you were beyond frustrated and hungry.
“may i?” a voice asked behind you. you turned around, observing the man with wide eyes. he seemed so familiar, but you just couldn’t place a finger on it.
“y/n?” he suddenly asked, his brows furrowing as he took in your appearance. you choked on your own spit, realizing that jay was standing right in front of you. obviously he looked way different, much older than when you had last seen him, but it was still jay— your jay.
you gasped before pulling the man into a hug, not realizing how weird the action must’ve been considering you hadn’t seen him since you were eight years old. but jay didn’t see it that way, he hugged you back, gripping you hard as if you would disappear if he let go.
“remember when you told me that we would meet again? i didn’t believe you at the time— but i guess it was fate.” jay mumbled into your hair, an uncontrollable smile on his face. you were there in his arms and it wasn’t one of the many dreams jay had over the years. you were real.
“you think we’re soulmates?” jay asked, pushing a stray hair behind your ear. you nodded timidly, hoping that he didn’t think the idea was stupid. it seemed like the appropriate title for you and jay, especially since you were both separated again during university due to a small falling out. but once again as if it were fate for you two to be destined together, you met again and jay didn’t let you go that time.
“it sounds stupid now that i say it out loud.” you chuckled nervously but jay merely shook his head.
“i don’t think it’s stupid…i think that not everyone has a soulmate, only a special few.” jay said before grabbing your hands and leaning closer to your face.
“i think we’re apart of that special few.”
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for @junityy <3 happy birthday to the best person ever!! this is my present to you
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dashiellqvverty · 1 year
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ugh if i was a tv/entertainment writer right now i would be tearing into apple tee vee plus i truly was like maybe if i enjoy the finale it will soften how much this season sucked but it was WORSE than all of it put together. i cant even explain why i hate it so viscerally it just made me feel bad and angry
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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skunkes · 26 days
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idk how people draw in public, i need to adapt to this and learn bc I'd really like to go sit in the park and draw and get some sun...
I use limited tools/colors when i draw because I never make full colored pieces or anything, usually a page or spread is a single color or analogous colors, but I just dont like the idea of not having supplies on hand if I change course in what I'm drawing....
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wistfulwatcher · 1 year
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i've been trying to stay positive about yjs all season because i desperately wanted to keep loving it but after last night's ep i just cannot pretend it's well-written anymore. that was the most nothing, poorly-paced episode i think we've gotten, at least for an ep that should be a CRUCIAL turning point. there was virtually zero exploration of the worst choice the teens make in 96 (the ritual discussion should have been a fucking bottle episode, tbh, with all that should have gone into it), and too much time spent recapping what we already knew in 21 (without it actually meaning anything/changing the characters when they learned). oof. just truly disappointing tbh.
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gh-0-stcup · 1 year
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I almost put this in my tags for the last post, but I think it deserves it's own thing.
I am exhausted with this idea that love is inherently Pure and Good, therefore any love which is not Pure and Good is not actually love.
Love transcends morality. That is what makes it so powerful and beautiful. It can be (and often is) the source of goodness, what motivates selflessness and sacrifice. But those are the effects of love, not a quality that is inherent to it.
Love can also be a force of great evil. It fills us, consumes us, changes us, brings us to our knees and lifts us up from the darkness. We can be driven to destroy to protect it, or to destroy indiscriminately when faced with its abscence.
Love transcends reason, logic, and self-preservation. It means different things to different people, has different effects on different people.
Imo, pushing the idea that love is by definition "good" is actually quite dangerous. People know how they feel. Buying into this view leads many to stay in situations that are harmful because they think it can't be that bad if they're so in love.
Followed by the horrible need to reimagine what you had with someone after the fact, deciding to label the whole affair as "not real". You can't trust your own feelings or your own memories because they don't match up to the idealized vision you have of love.
Recognizing that the love itself was real, but the situation was bad allows for better judgment going forward. When you recognize that love still needs to be tempered by reason, that it can be unhealthy or harmful, you are less likely to be blinded your emotions.
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airenyah · 8 months
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it's really funny seeing everyone salty posts about the hidden agenda finale and i actually agree with everyone but the thing is!!!! i'm just vibing!!!!
i went into this show with absolutely ZERO expectations (and in fact, i would have been extremely surprised if this show ended up being actually good dkfjkfddf), i've never given a single shit about the plot and/or the writing bc i came here for the joongdunk vibes and the joongdunk vibes alone and i had a blast watching this series
like, i'm not even gonna bother criticising this drama bc from the beginning i didn't expect it to be very impressive anyway and so i'll just keep sitting here in my pile of garbage and vibing with it <3333
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chatdae · 3 days
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love how the older skaters in the senior division give Yurio encouragement and that each time it pisses Yurio off. JJ is intentionally condescending so that makes sense, but with Viktor and Yuuri they're not even being condescending. Yurio's just dialed in on being a hater... and i love that for him <3
#'plot twist i LOBV you' -Yuuri#'i am going to skin you alive' -Yurio#yuri on ice#sometimes he is a teenager#he's got so much fury in his tiny body. and yet he is also just an earnest lad. i find him sooo funny silly#which he would hate me for!!#I recall a meta post about Otabek being the first one to verbally recognize how hard Yurio devotes himself to skate and I really dig that#like I think Yurio's frustration is justifiably rooted in how little others take him seriously despite his life-consuming dedication#I DO think he is over the top and i enjoy this; for it is entertaining.#but i also think his feelings are genuine and he is a complex little guy.#i'm thinking of him sharing his grandpa's food with Yuuri and being emotionally vulnerable with him at the waterfall#Yurio is a hater on his opponents (and Viktor) but I think on some level he recognizes the genuine care Yuuri+Viktor show him#I think Yurio doesn't understand how they can be encouraging to him while also taking him seriously#Cuz Yurio is so wary of his elders dismissing him#so older skaters being friendly translates in his head as 'they dont think i can beat them / they dont see me as an equal'#But I think when these relationships are removed from that competitive atmosphere Yurio DOES see how they care and he appreciates it.#It would be so sweet to see an older Yurio reflect on this time and realize that Viktor + Yuuri + others DID take him seriously#and just because they were fond of him it doesnt mean they didnt appreciate his talent.#tbh being a young athlete must be such a mindfuck and idk how these bitches do it. send tweet#yuri plisetsky#yoi meta#queue#my words#AWW right after writng this i watched the part where Yurio starts yelling encouragement to Yuuri#who internally tells himself 'i got more stamina than that fuckin Yurio mf' (paraphrasing lol)#they switched love languages <3 cheerleader & hater role reversal
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