#and it makes lena's heart ache too

[natalievoncatte]

“Hey,” Kara said, “want to grab something for lunch?”

Seated at her desk, Lena waved her hand dismissively, even though she was only talking to Kara on the phone.

“I can’t. I have too much to do.”

“You’re the boss, you can just take off. Everyone has to do what you say.”

Lena rolled her eyes. There was a hint of teasing in Kara’s voice, but Lena meant it. L-Corp was in the final stages of a major acquisition. Lena was taking over an AI startup that was developing a key technology for one of her medical division products, and to make it viable she needed their patents, IP, and scientific talent.

“I really am swamped.”

“Can’t you spare half an hour? For me? I want to make sure you’re not starving yourself again.”

Lena sighed. The teasing was replaced with a genuine concern, now. Lena had admitted to Kara that she lost five the last time she got caught up in something for three weeks. Of everyone she mentioned it to, Kara was the only one who didn’t congratulate her. She worried, she fussed, and she fed Lena that night.

“Okay,” said Lena. “I’ll meet you in the lobby in ten, does that sound…”

“I’m already here.”

Kara then opened the door and walked in, smirking. Lena’s breath caught when she saw her. Kara had her hair in an elaborate braid and was dressed for the blistering summer heat in a green sun dress and sandals. Joy sparkled in her blue eyes and she smiled wide.

“We could get delivery,” said Lena.

“Nope! Fresh air! It’s good for you!”

Lena sighed and allowed herself to be bundle outside, throwing on a hat and sunglasses. Since she was in the office on a Saturday and had let herself in, she had dressed casually and the heat was tolerable while they walked.

They spent the trip in companionable silence. Kara walked close to her, a presence just to Lena’s right that seemed to electrify the air, like something pulling between them.

Lena noticed things. Like how Kara always walked between her and the road, and how the way her arms would swing always seemed to leave Kara’s pinky brushing the outside of Lena’s hand. Sometimes she’d mumble an apology. Sometimes not. Sometimes Lena would feel the tender touch, and find Kara looking at her oddly, a soft wistful smile on her face that made Lena melt.

Sometimes she thought about catching her hand. Sometimes she thought about stopping and meeting that look, gently asking what Kara was so intent about. She never did, because as much as she enjoyed that fluttering feeling in her belly, she was certain Kara was straight.

It was like an ache she just couldn’t stop, dull and pulsing at the back of her mind. One soft brush of Kara’s lips on her own would be more than-

“Hey,” Kara said. “You’re a million miles away.”

“Oh,” Lena murmured, realizing that she’d been staring this time. “I’m sorry, I was just thinking about work.”

There was a nearly imperceptible flash of concern and sadness on Kara’s face, the tiniest hint of a frown that made Lena want to cup her cheek and whisper an apology, but didn’t.

“This is it,” said Kara. “Try to relax, alright?”

Lena sighed her best promise and followed Kara in to a quaint little lunch spot with air conditioning and big ceiling fans mounted high overhead, and they took their seats.

Kara ordered for her -you need protein, Lena!- and she spent the next forty-five minutes picking at a turkey wrap and listening to Kara chatter excitedly about gossip and work and who was dating who at CatCo and a big story she was working on. Lena knew she had a lopsided smile on her face and was nodding along, as much for the delight of Kara’s excitement. She did little voices when she imitated her coworkers and got animated when talking about her story.

Lena barely said a word.

“You’re quiet,” Kara finally said.

I’m in love with you, Lena thought.

“I’m just tired. I was listening. You think Elliot is dating… Katie?”

Kara smirked at her.

“I wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard. There’s more to life than work.”

Kara rested her hand atop Lena’s, and Lena felt her heart flip in her chest.

“I know. I’m sorry I’ve been distant, this project just means a lot to me.”

“Let’s get you back before the building burns down,” said Kara.

Lena felt a little guilty as they walked into the bar to pay the bill. For some reason, Lena felt a little thrill when Kara insisted on paying, and the host looked at Lena and then smirked at Kara.

They turned, snd a man stepped up to Lena.

“Luthor!” he shouted. “You ruined my fucking life!”

Lena froze, wide-eyed, about to ask what she did. The man raised the gun he had hidden in the pocket of his sweatshirt and fired. The sound was incredible, stabbing at her ear drums and filling the world with a dull ringing. She stumbled back into the bar.

Kara’s fist was clenched in front of her chest, her eyes wide and expression wild. Kara snapped her attention to the gunman, who fired again.

She stepped between the gun and Lena. Five more shots went off and seemed to rumple her dress with tiny bursts of wind, but then Lena saw the bullets had torn the fabric before they tumbled to the floor.

Kara swept her hand and yanked the gun out of his hand, and it fell to the floor in a crumpled mass, sliding along the tiles.

She changed. It was as if she grew taller, wider, expression hardening. She grabbed the attacker by his collar and hauled him off the floor with one hand, and Lena felt a pang of fear as fire literally blazed in her eyes.

When she put a hand on Kara’s shoulder, the muscles were coiled like steel cables.

“Don’t” she caught herself whispering.

Kara threw him. He slid across the floor and thumped against the wall, and she strode over and planted her foot on his chest, easily pinning him. He stared up at her in naked shock.

Kara touched her ear. “Alex, get to my location asap. Someone just tried to kill Lena. We need a cleanup.”

Lena stared at her.

It wasn’t five minutes before her sister, in full tactical gear, led a team of armed agents into the cafe and bundled up Lena’s assailant, dragging him away. They took the crumpled gun and the fallen bullets and began talking to the other patrons and staff.

Lena started to shake.

Kara focused on her instantly and led her outside, where “FBI” vans were waiting. Kara stepped into one and in half a second, without seeming to break stride, stepped back into view in full Supergirl regalia.

Lena almost fell. He knees went wobbly and she slumped, right into Kara’s arms. Kara scooped her up in a single fluid motion and lifted off as Lena took a death grip on the collar of her suit and buried her face in Kara’s neck.

Moments later they lighted on Lena’s balcony. Kara pushed the door aside, ignoring the very expensive lock that popped off as she did, and carried her inside.

Bolting, Lena ran to the bathroom. Her entire body had gone cold, like she’d been dunked in ice water. She sagged to her knees and grabbed the toilet, retching.

Kara was there. A soft, reassuring hand rubbed her back while the other tenderly and expertly gathered her hair. Lena couldn’t help it; she struggled to hold on her lunch, shaking, screaming between retches.

“You’re alright, I’ve got you.”

“He almost killed me,” Lena choked out. “If you weren’t there I’d be dead.”

Kara sat down, and pulled Lena into her lap, rocking her softly until the shaking subsided before standing up, easily carrying her out of the room.

A glass of water helped. Kara was attentive, gently, softly encouraging while the adrenaline shakes ravaged Lena.

Kara was Supergirl. It seemed weirdly obvious to her now. She looked up and realized that Kara hadn’t unbraided her hair, and the effect was disconcerting. Kara took Lena in her arms again, hugging her tight.

“You’re safe. I’ve got you, you’re safe now.”

Lena took in a deep breath, drinking her scent as Kara rubbed her back and did the same, burying her face in Lena’s hair.

“You’re going to be okay,” Kara murmured, “it’s alright.”

“I’m so tired of this,” Lena whimpered. “What did I do? Why did he want to hurt me?”

“You don’t deserve to live this way,” said Kara.

“Oh God,” said Lena. “I have to… the acquisition, my work…”

Kara seized her head in her hands, firmly yet gently, cupping Lena’s cheeks in her palms. Kara stared at her with shocking intensity, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Fuck your work,” Kara almost shouted. “I care about you. You, Lena! You’re more than… you… I…”

Lena stared back at her, in shock at the intensity in her voice, even moreso than the out of character f-bomb. Kara was still holding her, looking at her with such fullness of feeling, biting her lip and struggling to hold back tears and failing, that Lena couldn’t stop herself. She lunged, diving into Kara, hugging her.

Lena hugged Kara, but Kara was the one to kiss her first. Their lips met in a nearly painful crash, Kara diving into her like she might never see her again.

Oh.

It was a wild sensation, this adrenaline shock combined with the feeling of Kara’s powerful arms wrapped around her, fingers that could crush diamonds gripping her hip and the back of her neck, the way Kara stood tall over her and her boots thumped on the floor when she took a step.

“You mean everything to me.”

Lena sucked in a breath and swallowed a sob.

Oh.

“Don’t leave,” Lena chirped out. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I won’t. I won’t.”

Lena finally felt herself slowing down, but it left her drained, barely able to stand. She slumped against Kara and stayed there, clinging to her.

“I’m going to change,” Kara murmured. “Easy.”

She lowered Lena onto the sofa and she curled in the corner, huddled in a ball.

Then Kara reached to her shoulders unclasped one side of her cape, then the other. With a flourish she swung it wide and swept it over Lena as a blanket.

“Stay right here.”

She wasn’t gone long. In mere moments she was there in a t-shirt and shorts, wrapping herself around Lena.

It took hours for Lena to finally calm down, and by then she’d fallen asleep on Kara’s shoulder. When she woke up, Kara was teasing her fingers along Lena’s scalp and singing softly. It took a moment for Lena to realize that the clipped, rhythmic language had to be Kryptonian.

“Are you okay?”

Lena nodded.

“It was different this time. People have tried to kill me before but… it was different. He was just some guy in a cafe.”

“Lena,” Kara murmured, “look at me.”

Lena looked up, meeting Kara’s soft, intent gaze.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Lena’s heart swelled. It felt so real, so true. Kara meant it, every bit of it, from the depths of her being. Lena tucked in closer to her and sighed on her shoulder.

“Work can wait until Monday,” Lena whispered.

“Tuesday,” Kara corrected.

“Can you stay tonight?” said Lena. “Just to sleep,” she added.

“Of course.”

They were silent to a while.

“Lena?”

“Yeah.”

“About earlier, if I… overstepped, I’m sorry. It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”

Lena sucked in a sharp breath.

“It means everything.”

“Oh,” said Kara.

[meazalykov]

so so kind

lea schuller (platonic) x lena oberdorf (romantic) x reader

summary: your jealousy blinded you from the support you had all along

warnings: jealousy, injury

the weight of the match against wolfsburg hangs heavy on your shoulders as you step onto the pitch, the red and green spreaded across the crowd gives you motivation. 

normally, the energy from the german stands fuels you, pushes you to play harder, faster. 

but today, the noise fades into a distant hum, overshadowed by the anxiety gnawing at the edges of your mind. 

you’ve played for bayern munich frauen for a while now. it's been four years since you left arsenal as an eighteen year old, hoping to find something new outside of your childhood club. 

every time you wore a bayern kit, you felt right at home. 

but today feels different—unsettling.

lena, your girlfriend, isn’t on the field with you. her mcl and acl injuries wil her on the sidelines for nearly the entire season, and the absence of her steady presence beside you has left a void. 

ever since she transferred from wolfsburg to be closer to you, her girlfriend of three years, you were excited to have her as a teammate. a little too excited. 

when she got injured during the national break before the olympics, your heart broke for her. she is the last person to deserve that robbery.

but still, it’s more than just missing her support; it’s the knowledge that she’s out there somewhere, watching, unable to join you, unable to share the intensity of the game and having to watch instead. 

lena likes watching games, but she hates watching when she knows that she should be out there. you feel the same for her. 

as you take your position in midfield, your eyes involuntarily search for lena on the bench. she’s sitting there, her leg propped up, her gaze fixed on the pitch with a look of hope. hoping that bayern will win– you don’t think that you’ll get used to that look, considering that lena was your rival for years. 

your heart aches seeing her like this, sidelined when you know how badly she wants to be out there. 

but before you can dwell on it, you catch sight of lea standing nearby, sitting beside your taller girlfriend and laughing at something lena said. 

lea didn’t start this match, so she sat comfortably on the bench planning to watch the first half before being subbed on in the second. 

lea’s always there, isn’t she? always so close to lena, so touchy and affectionate in a way that feels foreign to you. 

it’s not that you don’t trust lena—you do, more than anything. but the friendship between lena and lea has always made you uncomfortable, even though you know it’s irrational and stupid of you to feel.

a few weeks ago, it was a casual evening at giulia’s after a long day of training. everyone was relaxed, laughing, and enjoying the moment.

 but as you stood by the kitchen, pouring yourself a drink as sydney begged for you to try a pastry that she made, you couldn’t help but notice lena and lea across the room. they were sitting close together on the couch, lena’s arm draped casually over lea’s shoulders as they talked, their heads bent close in conversation. 

they were smiling, laughing at some private joke, completely at ease in each other’s company. lea smiled brightly as lena suddenly bursted out in laughter at something. 

the sight of them like that, so comfortable and familiar with each other, sent a very sharp ache through your chest. you felt a knot form in your stomach, a mix of jealousy and insecurity tightening around your heart. suddeny, sydney’s pastry wasn’t important or on your mind. 

you knew it was irrational—lea was lena’s best friend, nothing more—but that didn’t stop the doubts from creeping in, from making you question your place in lena’s life.

you tried to shake it off, and tried to focus on sydney again, but the image of them together wouldn’t leave your mind. it felt like a dark cloud had settled over you, dulling the joy of the sunny evening. 

you forced a smile when sydney turned around from the oven and handed you the brownie in a pink napkin, pretending everything was fine, but you could feel your mood slipping, the heaviness settling in your chest as you chewed on the chocolate dessert.

too busy staring at your girlfriend and her best friend, you didn’t notice some of your closest teammates, georgia and sam, coming to sit next to you on the kitchen island. 

georgia and sam had always been perceptive when it came to your feelings. they followed your gaze to lena and lea, then looked back at you, their eyes softening with understanding.

“y/n,” sam said quietly, her voice low enough that only you could hear, “you okay?”

you nodded quickly, not trusting your voice to stay steady. 

“yeah, i’m fine,” you replied, but even you could hear the unconvincing tone in your voice. 

“come on, we can see something’s bothering you. what’s up?” georgia raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. she gently nudged your shoulder. 

you sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to hide it from them. 

“it’s just–” you couldn’t say, but instead nodded toward lena and lea. 

sam expressed an “ohh” facial expression, while georgia nodded her head. 

“i know they’re just friends, but sometimes i can’t help but feel… i don’t know– jealous? i don’t know.” 

georgia and sam followed your gaze again, watching lena and lea for a moment before turning back to you. 

“i get it,” sam kerr said softly. “but you have nothing to worry about. lena’s crazy about you, everyone who knows her can see that. and lea? she’s known lena since they played at essen. they’re close, sure, but they don’t have feelings for eachother– if i knew or suspected that i would tell you. you’re the one lena’s in love with.”

sam’s words were comforting, but the ache in your chest didn’t fully ease. “i know that,” you whispered, more to yourself than to georgia and sam. 

“it’s just hard sometimes, seeing them so affectionate like that.”

“trust me, y/n. lena’s yours, and she wouldn’t trade what you two have for anything. see– she's looking at you right now.” georgia says. 

you look over at lena and she smiles at you, waving and happy seeing you in conversation with georgia and sam– she doesn’t know what you’re talking about though. all you do is give a light smile before lena turned away to talk to tuva, who sits by lea and lena. 

“thanks, georgia and sam. you guys don’t understand how much i needed to hear that” you nodded, giving a light smile at them as you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

“anytime,” sam replied with a smile, then nudged you playfully. 

“i would suggest talking to them about it.” georgia adds on. 

“i can’t– lena’s gonna think i am a jealous insecure freak and will leave me. i can push it down, don’t worry.” you ramble. 

“don’t. that's how resentment starts. don’t be mad at me, but i think that is happening now.” georgia said with concern. 

at this point, sam gave a sympathetic smile before walking away– being called by klara in another room to check out something. 

“you think so?” you ask. 

“yes, you need to talk to them as soon as you can. now come on, let’s get back to the fun. no more people watching.”

you managed a small smile, letting her words sink in as you tried to push the insecurities aside. it worked, temporarily. 

back to the pitch– the whistle blows, signaling the start of the match, and you push everything else aside, focusing on the game. you will not let their moment affect yours here. if your mistakes from that cost you a loss for bayern, you’d risk your starting spot next game. 

for a while, you’re lost in the rhythm of the game, your focus sharp, your movements precise. you channel all your energy into the match, letting the intensity of the game distract you from everything else. the ball at your feet, the opposition pressing, the cheers from the bayern crowd—it’s all that matters in this moment.

you dribble around a few defenders in green before shooting the ball. you put your hands up when the ball reaches the back of the net– goal!

everyone gathered around you for a hug. you smiles in joy before jogging back to your spot. 

lena smiles at you and puts her hands up in her heart. you stop jogging, now walking, and put your hands up into a heart as well. a camera captures you putting up an “L” with one hand and your other hand making an “O”.. fans will obsess over this later. 

after halftime, you’re on the pitch when lea comes on. you didn’t show any emotion, hoping that lea makes an impact like she usually does on the pitch. you’ll give her that– she is a damn good striker. 

after wolfsburg conceded a corner kick, you stood by the back post. 

the ball is kicked by giulia and you unplant your feet– thinking of going for a header. 

the ball soaring through the air toward you. you leap up, determined to make the play, but lynn from wolfsburg shoves you mid-air.

it’s a hard, intentional shove, and you’re caught off balance. 

time seems to slow as you lose control, your body twisting awkwardly in the air. you crash into the goalpost with a sickening thud, pain exploding in your head, the metal reverberating as you flop onto the ground. 

the world goes blurry, and the sounds around you fade into a muffled haze. you’re vaguely aware of hitting the ground, of voices shouting around you, but everything is distant, as if you’re underwater or in a cave far from society.

nobody noticed at first, since the ball was kicked into the goal by lea. she didn’t care to celebrate when she noticed your injury. 

you were barely moving, which freaked her out internally. 

a voice cuts through the fog in your head—lea’s voice. she’s there, crouched beside you, her hands on your shoulder, her face pale– just like yours– but with worry. 

“stay with me, y/n. stay awake,” she’s saying in german, her voice shaking slightly. 

you try to focus on her, but it’s hard, everything spinning and out of focus. you catch a glimpse of her wide, panicked eyes, her grip on your hand tight, almost desperate, as if she can keep you tethered to consciousness by sheer will.

the weak hand of yours touches lea, signaling that you have no energy to talk. that knock fron lynn took all of the wind out of you. it was rough, the yellow from the referee proved that. 

you’re dimly aware of the medics rushing over, of being lifted onto a stretcher, but all you can think about is how lea is holding your hand, refusing to let go until she’s forced to step back. her concern, her fear, is palpable, and it cuts through the haze of pain and confusion. 

it’s a stark contrast to the distance you’ve been trying to maintain, a reminder that maybe, just maybe, you’ve misjudged her and her intentions with your girlfriend all along.

later, when the dizziness has faded and you’re back in the locker room with an ice pack on your head, guilt gnaws at your gut. 

lea didn’t have to help you—she could have stayed on the sidelines since you wanted distance from her, but she didn’t. she was there for you, just like she’s always there for lena. and that’s when it hits you: lea has never hated you. she wasn’t trying to steal lena away from you. you’ve been so blinded by your own insecurity that you couldn’t see it. you’ve let your fears create a wedge between you and lea, and it’s been unfair to both her and lena.

you know what you have to do. so, after the match, you ask lea to your house. she would probably be there anyways, since it you and lena’s shared home in the bavarian countryside.  

luckily, lena had a doctor’s appointment at bayern– so she had to stay behind and encouraged you to go home since you’re tired from the match. 

it’s awkward at first with lea, the two of you sitting across from each other in the cozy living room, the tension thick in the air. 

you internally freak out when you realize that you’ve never had a real conversation with her before, not like this. now, the words feel heavy on your tongue. 

you take a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. the silence in the room feels heavy, almost suffocating. you’re sitting across from lea, her eyes steady and patient, waiting for you to speak. 

this conversation is long overdue, but it’s hard to find the right words. finally, you break the silence.

“lea, i– i need to be honest with you about something,” you begin, your voice wavering slightly. 

“i’ve been carrying these thoughts around for a while, and i think it’s time i finally tell you– or rather ask you.”

lea’s expression is gentle, her gaze encouraging. “you can tell, or ask me anything, y/n.”

“do you like lena?” you ask, your eyebrow knitted together as lea’s face fills with confusion. 

“as my best friend, yes, anything more– i don’t.” lea answers, not trying to show that she is nervous about the upcoming conversation. 

“it’s about… about how i’ve been feeling lately. about you and lena. i know it sounds silly, and i’m trying to work through it, but—”   you pause, struggling to find the right words. 

“seeing you two together, so close, affectionate and so comfortable, it stirs up this weird knot inside me. i keep thinking, what if one day, lena decides she doesn’t need me anymore? what if she doesn’t love me anymore? what if she… decides she’d rather be with you?”

lea’s eyes widen slightly, and she opens her mouth to speak, but you hold up a hand to stop her. you need to get this out, to lay everything bare.

“i know it’s irrational,” you continue, your voice cracking. “i know you’re her best friend and that there’s nothing more between you two. but every time i see you two together, laughing and being so affectionate, it feels like a reminder that i might not be enough. it’s like there’s this part of me that’s afraid lena might see something in you that she doesn’t see in me. and that thought… it terrifies me. i don’t want to be fooled, if there are feelings between the both of you– just tell me and i’ll get out of the way.”

you look down at your hands, unable to meet lea’s gaze. the vulnerability of your confession makes you feel exposed, raw.

“i’ve been pushing you away because of these feelings, and i know it’s not fair to you. i thought that if i kept my distance, i wouldn’t have to deal with these insecurities. but the truth is, i’ve let it affect my relationship with lena, and with you– and it’s not right.”

lea’s silence stretches on for a moment, and you’re not sure what she’s thinking. when she finally speaks, her voice is soft but firm. 

“y/n, i had no idea you felt this way. i’m really sorry if i’ve contributed to those feelings. but i want you to know that lena and i have known each other for years, and yes, we’re close, but that’s all it is—a close friendship. our friendship doesn’t change the fact that lena loves you. she’s never looked at me in that way, and she’s never given me any indication that she wants anything more than what we have as friends.”

you glance up, meeting her gaze. there’s sincerity in her eyes, and it’s a comfort. “but you’re right,” lea continues. 

“i’ve seen how much lena loves you. it’s obvious to everyone around us. i care about lena deeply, and because of that, i care about you too. i’ve always wanted us to get along, but i didn’t know how to close the distance between us.”

“i’ve been so caught up in my own fears that i didn’t see things clearly. i’m sorry for the way i’ve treated you.” you swallow hard, trying to process her words. 

lea reaches out, placing a comforting arm over your shoulder. “i’m glad that you found a point to start talking about your feelings now. i want us to be friends, y/n, and i want to support you and lena, not be a source of conflict.”

your heart warms as you listen to her. “thank you, lea. it means a lot to hear that from you.” 

lea smiles, a warm and understanding smile. “there is no problem, i promise. we both care about lena, and that’s something we have in common. we can use that as a way to become close.” 

you nod, feeling a sense of relief and clarity that you haven’t felt in a long time. “yeah, i’d like that. thank you for being so understanding.”

“anytime,” lea says with a reassuring nod. “now, there is just one thing—” 

your heart sunk, afraid of what lea might say. 

“you have to talk to lena now about this.” lea says, firmly. 

“i will.” you swallow.

when lea leaves your home, you feel lighter. 

just a couple of minutes later, lena comes through the door. relieved seeing you resting on the couch. 

you and lena are curled up on the couch in your shared apartment, the room dimly lit by the soft glow of a lamp. darker from when lea was there. the day has been long, and the tension between you has only recently begun to ease after your conversation with lea. 

"are you okay? I saw that hit you took from lynn earlier, is there anything you need?" lena asks, rubbing your head.

she hated that she could only stand and watch as the medics surrounded you earlier. she was glad that you had lea, sydney, pernille, and georgia watching over you.

lena’s presence beside you feels comforting, then it feels the same as it did before your conversation with the blonde german. what if lena doesn’t react so kindly? 

your girlfriend isn’t mean, so you take a deep breath, preparing to share your feelings with her.

"I am okay--- but lena,” you start, your voice quiet but steady. 

“i need to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind.”

lena looks at you, her expression soft and attentive as she plays with the hair in your ponytail. “what’s on your mind, love?”

you hesitate for a moment, then continue, “it’s about you and lea. i talked to her earlier and for a while i’ve been struggling with how close you two are. it’s not that i don’t trust you or anything—it’s just— i’ve felt this knot of jealousy and insecurity whenever i see you two together. i know it’s irrational because you;ve been friends with her since even before we knew each other, but seeing you so close with her, it makes me wonder if there’s something i’m missing.”

lena’s eyes widen with concern, and she reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face that fell out of your ponytail. 

“y/n,” she says softly, her voice full of warmth. “you’ve been feeling this way? i had no idea.”

you nod, trying to hold back tears. 

“i’ve been pushing myself to stay calm and rational, but it’s been hard. i guess i just needed to hear it from you. i need to know how you really feel about lea and why you two are so close.”

lena pulls you closer, wrapping her arms around you in a comforting embrace. 

“lea and i have been friends for a long time, longer than you and i have been together. she’s like a sister to me. we’ve shared so many experiences, and that bond is deep and meaningful, its not going anywhere. but that doesn’t change how much i love you.”

you rest your head on her shoulder, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. 

“i understand that, but sometimes it feels like i’m competing with that bond. it makes me question if there’s a place for me in your life where i’m not overshadowed by your bond with her.”

lena kisses the top of your head, cheek, and nose– her touch tender and reassuring. 

“you’re not competing with anyone, y/n. my friendship with lea is important, it doesn’t come close to what i have with you. my love for you is different—it’s deeper and more significant. our relationship is something i cherish and prioritize above all.”

you close your eyes, letting her words sink in. “i needed to hear that. thank you for being so understanding. it’s just hard sometimes, seeing how easily you connect with her. maybe i didn’t understand because i’ve never had a close bond with a friend like you do with lea”

lena pulls back slightly to look into your eyes, her gaze intense and filled with sincerity. 

“i want you to know that my connection with lea is like that of family. it’s a bond that’s been built over years, and it’s special, but it’s not a reflection of how i feel about you. there’s no comparison. my love for you is above anything else– ever since i met you”

the taller girl takes your hair out of your ponytail gently– your hair falls down from the hair tie and she runs her fingers gently through your hair, her touch soothing. 

“if you ever feel uncertain or insecure, please talk to me. i want us to be open with each other. and remember, you’re my priority. nothing and no one will ever change that.”

you nod, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. “i will. i just needed to know where i stand with you.”

lena smiles, her eyes warm and loving. “well you aren’t  standing now– but you’re sitting right here, with me. and that’s exactly where we belong.”

you lean in for a kiss, feeling the connection between you deepen. the reassurance and physical affection from lena makes you feel grounded and loved.

authors note: wrote this on vacay but had to fix a ton of it since it was originally on my phone LMAO

my master list is here if you want to read more fics <3

[kujousgf]

Okay but what about g!p Nat getting r pregnant at a one night stand. R actually being yelenas best friend who always said her sister is off limits and told nat her friends are off limits. Nat being a player. But like a happy ending

KISS ME UNTIL MY LIPS FALL OFF mdni. 18+

pairings ; natasha romanoff + f ! reader (romantic), yelena belova + f ! reader (platonic), wanda maximoff + f ! reader (platonic)

summary ; you know you shouldn't, really you do, but there's just something about natasha that pulls you in and wraps an iron chain around your heart

warnings ; fade to black smut (i'm the worst, i know), natasha has a penis, unprotected sex, pregnancy, top ! natasha, bottom ! reader, tiny bit of angst, intoxication, morning sickness

wc ; 2.5k~

a/n ; i hope this is what you were looking for !! i got a liiiitle carried away with this i think. also this is not proofread ! (also, please do not use the term 'g!p', just say 'character with penis' please !)

“She is off limits, Natalia. I can see that look in your eyes, she’s too nice for you.”

“She is no good for you, Y/N. Don’t fall for her annoying charms.”

That is what Yelena had said to both of you, separately, of course, the first time you met her sister. For Natasha it was a thinly veiled threat and for you it was a warning– Natasha was no good, she would break your heart. 

That was about four years ago and while the two of you tried your best to respect Yelena’s wishes, you more so than Natasha, it was getting increasingly harder to deny the attraction you felt towards each other. You never wanted to cross Yelena’s boundaries, she was your best friend since you two were old enough to walk. A betrayal like that would shake your friendship in ways you didn’t want to think about. 

You understand that Yelena just wants the best for you, knowing of her sister’s habit of sleeping with girls only to leave them in the middle of the night and suddenly forget they exist, but there was just something that wouldn't stop tugging you towards Natasha. There was no denying her attractiveness, anyone with eyes could tell that the redhead was attractive, but it was the way she treated you that really had you weak in the knees. She was frustratingly charming and stupidly sweet. When Yelena was around to shoot daggers at her for her flirting, she claimed that she was just being friendly. 

“What’s wrong with being nice to a pretty girl, Lena?”

You two had shared more than a few tender moments alone, but nothing past a soft kiss and a quietly whispered ‘You know we can’t’ that always left Natasha wanting more of you. She knew you wanted to respect Yelena, she did, and she lov– liked you for how much you cared for her sister, but God, she wished you cared a little less. She wished you were a little more selfish, a little more willing to let her have you. 

Natasha doesn’t know when she developed actual feelings for you past physical attraction, and she’d rather not think about it, if she were being honest. It didn’t matter what she felt for you if she could never act on it, if it would make her feel rotten for acting on it, for crossing a boundary Yelena had set and you were trying your hardest to set yourself. So, she did what she’d been doing best for the past three years: slept with almost every girl that the only gay bar in Ohio had to offer. 

It’s not like the both of you hadn’t tried to move on, but nothing ever seemed to stick. None of the girls Natasha slept with made the burning hole in her chest ease its aching, and no one you ever tried to date could ever compare to Natasha. Even that pretty blonde pilot with the same type of dominating presence couldn’t tear your heart away from the Russian. You think you might have to try and erase Natasha from your memory, but even then you don’t think it would work. Your heart would still remember her. 

Too many drinks and Yelena’s birthday party is how you ended up here, in the one place you shouldn’t be. Natasha just looked so pretty tonight, even wearing something so simple as her usual leather jacket and black jeans, you finally just couldn’t contain yourself. You two are in the guest bedroom of Yelena’s apartment, Natasha’s hands gripping your waist as you grind against her lap, your hands tangled in her hair. 

This is the first time the two of you had gone past a soft kiss or a gentle hand brushing against each other. It’s been four years of torture, trying to deny each other of what you both wanted, and now that you have it, it doesn’t seem like either of you want to let go. Natasha had been a little shocked when you barged into the room she was occupying for the night, but who is she to deny you when you were all red cheeked and asking for her to please kiss you?

“Okay, okay. Slow down, sweetheart.” Natasha laughs, breathless as she pulls away from your lips, her hands stilling your hips. God, she wants to keep going, but she could taste the liquor on your lips, and the last thing she wanted to do was let you do something you’d regret. You try to chase her lips, a pout making its way onto your features, but she holds you back. 

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Just looking at you, Tasha.” You grumble, trying to press your lips to hers again. 

“Hey, hey, come on. Listen to me for a minute, okay?” She reaches up to tuck your hair behind your ear and brushes her thumb across your cheek. The touch feels like electricity shooting through your body and you wish she would just stop trying to talk to you. Does she not want you like you want her?

“You know, once we do this there’s no going back, Y/N. You have to be sure, okay? Do you want this?”

“Yes. Please, Tasha, I want you. Don’t make me wait any longer, please.”

And, well, who is Natasha to say no to that?

It isn’t until Natasha sneaks out of the room at 4am to get a drink and she’s confronted with Yelena in the kitchen that she realizes what she’s done. Yelena has never told her that anyone is off limits besides you, and she can’t even keep it in her pants for one night? (She knows it’s been four years, but you’ve only approached her like this the one time.)

She tries to act like nothing is different, like she’s just grabbing some water, but Yelena raises an eyebrow at the difference in the air around her sister. She’s not as stupid as the two of you seem to think she is, she’s noticed the downright disgusting tension between the two of you and the horrible lovey dovey eyes her sister makes towards you. 

“You break her heart and I break your ribs. Got it?”

Natasha chokes on her water, she would’ve thought she’d be a little more concerned for her heart, but this is fine, “Got it.”

And then Yelena is walking out of the kitchen to go to her own room. On her birthday? You two just had to do it on her birthday? Unbelievable. 

Since that night, you and Natasha had gone on a couple of dates and you’ve been trying to spend as much time with each other as possible. You hadn’t slept with each other since, it was hard to find the right opportunity while she was staying with Yelena for the next month while her house was being renovated and your roommate Wanda always seemed to be at your apartment lately. 

About a week later you woke up feeling like something was off. You didn’t know what it was until your body was moving on its own accord and you found yourself rushing to the bathroom to empty the contents of your stomach. God, you hoped you weren’t getting sick. As you sat with your back leaning against the cool glass of the shower, you closed your eyes for a second before it hit you. 

Natasha didn’t wear a condom. 

Oh God, Natasha didn’t wear a condom. You scramble to get yourself up and brush your teeth before rushing out of the bathroom and tugging on a pair of sweatpants and an old college sweater of Natasha’s that she left a couple of nights ago. What time is it? You pat your pockets and then fish out your phone, 7:56am. Okay, the pharmacy should be open by the time you get there. 

This is fine, it’s probably nothing. You’re probably just sick, maybe you shouldn’t have eaten as much candy as you did, but Natasha was so happy to get you something you liked and you were really craving it. You tug on your shoes and you’re out the door and walking down the street in less than two minutes. 

The walk to the pharmacy is relatively short, you chose an apartment in the city, so nothing is more than a 15 minute walk. Your fingers tap against your thigh as you pick out one of the many options and you walk to the checkouts, but not before grabbing a chocolate bar. You’ve been really wanting one for days now, but that has nothing to do with this, you just like chocolate, that’s all. You groan, what are you even trying to do right now? Convince your subconscious that you’re not pregnant?

The walk back to your apartment seems like it takes forever and you don’t even need to drink a bunch of water because your nerves are making you feel like you’re going to piss your pants anyway. 

Wanda chooses the exact moment you start pacing in the bathroom to come out of her room, concealing a yawn behind her hand. “Y/N, why are you doing laps in the bathroom? If there’s a bug somewhere just kill it.”

“No, I’m not– there’s not a bug, Wands. I’m just…” You pause, fidgeting with the hem of your, well, Natasha’s sweatshirt, “I think I might be pregnant.”

A pause. 

“You think what?!”

“Don’t say that like that! It’s not a bad thing I think. I just– I just don’t know how Natasha will react.” You wrap your arms around yourself and deflate a little bit, just the idea of Natasha being upset has you acting like a kicked puppy.

Wanda softens and walks towards you, wrapping her arms around you in a hug, “I’m sure Natasha will react just fine. And if she doesn’t then that’s her problem, not yours.” You lean into her and let yourself relax for a minute. You hadn’t known Wanda for as long as Yelena, you only met in your freshman year of college, but you consider her one of your best friends. 

“Y/N… I think you should take a look.” Wanda had taken a quick peek at the test over your shoulder, and she squeezes you softly before pulling away. 

You turn around and try your hardest not to feel too scared. Either outcome is fine, right? 

Two lines. 

You were pregnant.

Tears start to prick at your eyes and you’re not sure why, but you find yourself turning and hiding yourself in Wanda’s arms, not able to stop yourself from crying. You only just started properly seeing Natasha, what if she hates you? What if she never wants to see you again? What if–

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. Everything’s okay. She won’t hate you.”

Wanda’s soothing voice reaches your ears and you realize you must have been saying those things out loud. You nod against her chest and sniffle, trying to get yourself to stop crying. You had to tell Natasha, you have to get yourself ready and make yourself look presentable. 

Wanda helps you get ready, telling you soothing things every once in a while when you start to worry again, trying to reassure you that Natasha isn’t going to hate you. And, if anything, this is Natasha’s fault anyway, but she doesn’t say that part. She drives you to Yelena’s apartment where Natasha is staying for the time being and gives you a reassuring smile, saying she’ll be waiting right outside if you need her. But if you don’t come out in 15 minutes she’s leaving because she has to go open the bookstore for Darcy. 

You give her a weak nod and walk the now intimidating path up to Yelena’s apartment. You stand outside for a whole two minutes before getting the courage to knock. You knew Yelena wasn’t home and that it would be Natasha to answer the door. The blonde went to kickboxing every Saturday morning and wouldn’t be back for at least another hour. 

Natasha is a little surprised to see you standing outside her door at 8:30 in the morning, but then she takes in your slightly red eyes and still tear stained cheeks and she’s ushering you inside with an arm around your waist and a concerned look on her face.

“What’s the matter, baby? Are you hurt? What happened? Do you need me to call Yelena? What’s going on?” The words tumble from Natasha’s lips before she can stop them, the need to protect you and make sure you’re safe overpowering anything else she might have wanted to say. Like how cute you look in her sweater. 

You shake your head and suddenly there are tears in your eyes again and your bottom lip starts to wobble. “No, p–please don’t call Yelena. I just– I need to talk to you.” You’re trying not to cry again, but you don’t know how to say it. You don’t know how to break the news in a way that won’t destroy the only thing you’ve wanted for the last four years. 

The concern in Natasha’s eyes isn’t making this any easier as she takes you over to sit on the couch, sitting next to you and taking your hand in hers, rubbing her thumb over your knuckles. “Alright, we can talk. You can talk to me. What’s going on, sweetheart?” 

“I-I…” Your fingers twitch nervously in her hands, “Natasha, I’m pregnant.” And the confession ruins any chance you had of stopping yourself from crying, afraid she’s going to push you away or yell at you or tell you to get out or–

Natasha’s eyes widen and her breathing stops for a moment, you’re pregnant? But you hadn’t slept together since– Oh. Oh. 

And then she snaps back to the present where you’re crying and she’s frozen like an idiot. And she’s gotta do something before you come to the wrong conclusion. This should be fine, though, right? She loves you, she can do this. She can do this, can’t she?

 “Hey, hey, hey. Look at me.” She speaks softly, cupping your cheeks and wiping your tears with her thumbs. She takes one look at your face and now she’s trying to keep the tears out of her own eyes. “Everything’s gonna be okay, yeah, baby? Everything’s gonna be fine. We’re gonna figure it out.” She brings your head towards her chest and wraps one arm around you while the other strokes your hair. You’re crying harder now, but you think maybe they might be relieved tears, happy ones, even? 

“We’re gonna figure it out.” She murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Yeah, she can do this.

[yiiyiiwrites]

🗡️ | Relics and Ruin | 2 |

Part Two [Previous part] [series masterlist]

Summary: you're a mender in the dawn court, tasked with fixing cursed and broken relics. Azriel x dawn court reader 2,546words

Two days of staring at the truth-teller and it kept repeating the same word. Lies.

The dagger rattled on the table, your older sister pacing the free space in front of you. If you didn't know any better you'd think the relic wasn't fond of her hurried speech or tone either.

"Mother above," she snapped, her hand steadying the truth-teller. "You can't even talk about it, yet you're going down there with those people."

"I think they're more than capable to go there," you said swatting her away from the table.

Truth truth, the murmurs somehow reassuring your fears. You wondered what other energy surrounded the dagger, the thought pulling you to pick it up. The hilt warm against your skin, surprisingly light and it moulded to the curve of your palm as if it were meant to be.

Your sisters words were muffled, the sharp blade drawing your attention. The hold it had on you, intense. A dull twinge pierced your chest and you recognised the aching tug of longing. You'd felt it under the mountain, the burning desire to feel the sun upon your face and breeze washing over you.

A gloved hand circled your wrist and you gasped, truth-teller clinking to the table. Blinking back the blurry vision, shadows swarmed around you, the wind tracing your cheek. The hold on your wrist acted like an anchor, firm but light as you calmed your racing heart.

"Hello," a low, smooth voice spoke beside you. If there wasn't a weight clutching you, you'd think it was the shadows speaking.

Just like the truth-teller, it's owner seemed to tug and draw you in. His touch oddly welcome and familiar, it had been years since you'd allowed someone so close. You stared up at him, hazel eyes focused on your sister.

You slipped out of his grasp and stepped back, your hand shooing the wisps of darkness. Of course he'd look at your sister, so much light and love.

Lies, lies.

The difference was startling as Lena, your sister stood in the golden light of the sun. Her bronzed skin held a warmth you denied yourself, keeping yourself in your studio. Hair that reminded you of rising sun, long and swishing halfway down her back. You on the other hand had chopped your hair off as soon as you were free from under the mountain.

As Lena spoke to the Illyrian, you took the opportunity to study him. He's quiet, but his gaze focused on Lena's as he listened to her rambling on. His gloved hands tucked behind him, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as if he knows you are admiring him.

He didn't say a word to your sister, but she's leaning closer and smiling up at him as if he's inviting her. Maybe that's why you feel a pull towards him, he's magnetic and drawing anyone in.

Lies, Lies.

Lena placed her palm on his arm, "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name." She'd been weaving through the court, denying her hand in marriage until she either met her mate or someone with high nobility.

You couldn't help but feel the burn, brows furrowing at your sister and the smooth action, something you'd never dare to do.

"Azriel," he said, stepping back and bowing his head slightly.

His gaze met yours and you looked away, finger following the woods grain of the table. The relics hoarding your studio were quiet, truth-teller the only one seeking your energy. The silence all too consuming, your thoughts flowing freely. Multiple energies were dulled since the dagger had been left in your possession, commanding you to face your mind or maybe your own truths.

Bidding your goodbyes to your sister, eyes trailing after her to make sure she left. As you turned back to your desk, you flinched away from the shadows. You hadn't realised how close he was, didn't hear him approach your workstation.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, regretting the harsh tone of your voice.

Azriel picked up his dagger, turning the blade over and inspecting it. His shadows snaked around his gloved hand and to the scripture on the hilt as if reading it aloud. "Just wanted to see if you'd familiarised yourself with the energy."

Lies,lies.

He tensed, wings twitching briefly, but you caught it. Could the truth-teller speak to him too? Truth, truth

"You lie." The words tumbling from your lips before you could stop them.

His brow arched, "so you have familiarised yourself. Truth-teller rarely calls or speaks to others, you must be special." You didn't say how his energy matched, how you felt the same tug to him. A reason you couldn't hold his gaze, didn't want to get lost in the possibilities of your emotions.

You shrugged, "I'm not, just merely open to an objects energy and have a well trained ear to seek them out." The one advantage of rotting under the mountain meant you could hone your mending abilities, not that you had any choice. Fifty years tethered to cursed objects and magical relics, haunted by touch alone.

"And what do the other relics tell you right now?" Azriel asked, once again distracting you from your thoughts and memories.

The energy you used to seek comfort in was nothing but a withering buzz. Even the cursed relics usual shrieking, underwhelming. “Truth-teller calls above them all, draws me in as if it’s the only thing that matters.”

Two sides of the same blade.

The boundary of the dawn court and the beginning of the middle was somewhere you vowed never to step over again. You glanced over your shoulder at the rising sun, as if you’d never see it again for another fifty years.

Your body moved on memory alone, legs carrying you through the large stones entrance hidden beneath the weaving branches of trees. All source of natural light vanished as you stepped over the threshold. Your boots squelched in the trickling water that ran down the caves wall.

A small ball of light floated in front of you, but you were the one guiding them through the maze of passageways. Your head tilted to the side, pointed ears straining to hear of anything beyond your path.

Under the mountain was a place no one had mapped out completely. This entrance however led to the least desirable section. Not intricately carved out like the main area or the throne room. Granted, you’d never been out of this quarter, only three times had you walked the narrow passageways. You’d always remember though, your memory being something you trained as well as your mending skills.

No one had uttered a single word, afraid to hear your voice echoing back to you or summoning something from the depths of the darkness.

As you rounded the corner, your steps faltered. The familiar dingy hallway, doors lining each side. It felt just like before, the deep rooted knot in your stomach twisting. You expected to be shoved forward, but a light touch pressed against your lower back and you leant into the warmth.

“Rhys will go in if you cannot face it.” Azriels whispered breath fanned against the shell of your ear. You’d gone over the plan with them over a hundred times, each time Azriel had reassured you that you were not alone. That you did not have to do anything you were not comfortable with.

You shook your head, retreating from his touch and away from the warmth. Seven doors down, you stopped outside and glanced to the one opposite, the one that still haunted you at night.

“This is the relic room, I will check the other.” Your hand hovered over the broken chain, the ward spelled over the wooden panel zapping your fingertip. Thesan had warded the room so that no one could steal the relics, Rhys learnt how to break and remake it from entering his mind.

Rhys nodded, “we’ll meet back out here, try to keep it quiet. Don’t want to wake anything lurking,” he said, his magic making easy work of dropping the ward. The energy of the spell fell like a sheet of liquid gold, particles disappearing into the gravel.

Halfway through the door opposite you paused, “oh, stick to the shadows and if you hear screaming do not follow the light. Stay in the darkness and do nothing.”

The floating light whizzed past you into the room, it followed your gaze and lit up the areas you searched. You took the gloves from your pocket and shoved them on, the one thing they never allowed you under the mountain.

Touch meant more to menders than any other fae. It being both creation and destruction. Normal fae were more inclined to destroy something they did not understand, whereas you studied and mended. Just couldn’t mend all the destruction they’d done to you.

You tried not to remember this room, the contents still exactly how it had been when you’d last been there. The bed unmade, desk strewn with papers and his messy cursive writing. He’d always have ink staining the side of his fingers, sometimes it’d transfer to your jaw or cheek.

“This was your room?” Azriel asked, sifting through the papers on the desk. His hazel eyes glistening in the dull light as he glanced to you.

Those eyes, you couldn’t quite hold for longer than second. “No, this is someone else’s.” You dropped to your knees and pressed your cheek to the ground, arm sweeping underneath the bed. A small silver box scraped towards you, lock sealed shut.

You didn’t miss the scrunch of Azriel’s brow or the burning gaze that trailed your movements. It’s like he’s in a trance, that or he’s trying to figure you out in a room that isn’t, wasn’t yours. You removed your gloves, the leather too stiff, the constant squeak unbearable in the silence.

He sidestepped you as soon as your hands traced the side of the desk and opened the drawer. Vials of ink rolled to the front, a set of keys jingling on a metal ring. You took the keys, knowing what each one was for.

“I have what I need, let’s go to the relic room,” you said, glancing over your shoulder one last time before you leave the room for good.

Azriel’s hand hovered behind you, but you can feel the warmth and energy alone without his touch. It calms your racing heart and gives you the strength to the meet the relics again.

Cassian’s gaze flicked from the box in your grasp and to Azriel who remained close to you. Rhys staring at the hoards of relics, eyes glazed as he tried to listen for the murmurs of the desired object.

Dark wisps tumbled over your shoulder and twisted around one another as they travelled towards a glimmering spec of light. You would have missed it, if it wasn't for the pesky shadows whirling around the hilt.

The moment your gaze latched onto the relic, a high screech tore through the room and you dropped the box, silver slipping through your fingers. You heard the echo of voices, they merged with the swords energy as if they were connected.

"We've got company."

Azriel spoke, but as you turned to look at him you were met with nothing but shadows. Rhys vanished in a blink of an eye, Cassian crossing the space between you. He balanced a small dagger, blade between his fingers waiting for you to take it. You shook your head and picked the small silver box from the floor.

You grabbed his wrist, "stay in the shadows, don't go to the light." The lock clicked open with the turn of the key, you hesitated with the clasp, steadying your breath for what was to come.

Before you could open the box, Azriel's heavy hand slammed into yours keeping the lid closed. "Together," he said, giving you a slight nod, keeping his promise of not doing anything alone. His shadows swarmed around the two of you, those Illyrian wings curling in as you opened the lid.

You did not know, nor did you ask what spirit lived within the box. Only knew that when you closed it again, you would summon it back to its dwelling it was contained to.

A grey mist snaked out of the top and dove towards the remaining light through the gap between Azriel's wings. The hair on the back of your neck stood up, goosebumps rippling your bare arms. An icy cool breeze hung in the spirits wake, but it seemed to drag Azriel's shadows with it.

The darkness cloaking Azriel and you faded, his grasp on your hand loosening. "Go, help your friends," you whispered. You don't know what possessed you, but your finger smoothed the line of tension settled on his forehead. Blue ink stained his forehead, your fingertips painted the same colour.

"Autumn guards are here, the darkness devours them," he said, more to himself than you. The screams in the passageway filtered through to the relics room, high pitched shrieks tugging at Azriel like his shadows were trying to draw him out to the destruction.

He moved as quick as the shadows, the floating ball of light flaring in front of you. You saw the darkness shift, felt the breeze knock you back a few steps.

Stumbling back, you crashed into a firm chest. Scorching heat enveloped around you, burning touch forcing your hands to close the lid before the spirit devoured your light. You leant into the embrace, eye's closing as you savoured the thousand sparks of energy spreading like wildfire through your body.

"Do not touch her," Cassian spat.

You opened your eyes, the three Illyrian's scowling at the one behind you. The one you knew so well, the one that knew you too well. He let go and you turned to face him.

"Vanserra," you whispered. Eris Vanserra smirked down at you, his hand picking yours up. Ink smudging his fingers, he glanced between your stained hands and the blue smeared across Azriel's forehead.

"It's good to see you," Eris crooned, lifting your chin with his ink splotched hand. "My little mender."

You hated the way your body betrayed you, the mark on your chest burning at his silent command. The tethered bond coaxing you to lean into his touch, despite the stinging burn. You couldn't bring yourself to look at the shadow-singer or his friends, but you knew from his silence that whatever he thought of you before, was nothing now. Why did it bother you so much though?

Before your lips could touch Eris's, he'd winnowed you away in a blur.

taglist: @rcarbo1, @st4r-girl-official,@azrielswhore, @cynthiesjmxazrielslover, @shizukestar, @wolfbc97

I'm already writing the next part, sorry for the long wait between the first part...I was sick so only just getting back to writing now -Yiiyii

[midastouch013]

"God Must Hate Me"

Based on this request

Summary: When your girlfriend tells you what's making her withdraw from everyone, what do you do?

Warnings: Nat lowkey hating herself. Mentions of God. Self-hatred. Mentions of numbness. Mentions of Red Room. Mention of scars.

----

It had been almost a year since you started dating Natasha Romanoff, and everything had been going perfectly. But lately, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Natasha seemed to be withdrawing from you, from her friends, and from her sister too.

You noticed it first when Natasha stopped joining you for movie nights. She used to love cuddling up with you on the couch, sharing popcorn and watching your favorite films. But now, she always had some excuse to avoid it.

"Nat, I rented that movie you wanted to watch," you'd say hopefully, holding up the DVD as she passed by.

"Sorry, babe, I'm really tired tonight. Maybe another time," she'd reply with a forced smile, already halfway out the door.

You shrugged it off at first, thinking she was just going through a busy time at work. But then you noticed she was avoiding her friends too.

"Hey, Nat, Pepper's invited us over for dinner tonight. She's making your favorite lasagna," you'd say, trying to tempt her.

"Thanks, but I think I'm just going to stay in tonight. I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on," she'd reply, barely looking up from her laptop.

Even Yelena couldn't seem to get through to her.

"Natasha, we never see each other anymore. Can we please have lunch together today?" Yelena would ask, looking hurt.

"I'm sorry, Lena, I just have a lot on my mind right now. Rain check?" Natasha would reply, not meeting her sister's eyes.

But it wasn't just her friends and family she was avoiding. Natasha seemed to be retreating into herself more and more each day. You'd find her in the gym for hours on end, pushing herself to the limit with no explanation.

"Nat, you've been in here for three hours. Don't you think you should take a break?" you'd ask, concerned.

"I'm fine, Y/n. I just need to work off some steam," she'd reply, not even breaking a sweat.

Or you'd find her in the garden, sitting alone and gazing off into the distance.

"Natasha, is everything okay?" you'd ask softly, sitting down beside her.

She'd startle slightly, as if she hadn't even realized you were there.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just… thinking," she'd reply vaguely, not meeting your eyes.

And then there were the times when she would accidentally ignore you, lost in her own thoughts.

"Nat, I was talking to you," you'd say, trying to get her attention.

"Huh? Sorry, what did you say?" she'd reply, looking confused.

You watched all of this unfold, feeling more and more confused and sad with each passing day. You didn't understand why Natasha was pulling away from everyone, including you. You tried to give her space, hoping she would open up to you eventually. But as the days turned into weeks, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong.

---

As you finished your day's work at the hospital, your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Natasha. Clint's call had left you deeply concerned. You knew something was wrong, and you couldn't shake the feeling of dread as you drove home.

Pulling into the driveway, you noticed Natasha sitting on the porch, her gaze fixed on the neighbor's child playing with her dog and toys. There was a sadness in her eyes that made your heart ache.

As you sat silently beside her, Natasha broke the silence with a heavy sigh.

"Do you ever see someone and think, 'Wow, God must hate me'?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

You didn't respond verbally; instead, you simply placed your hand on hers, offering silent support, waiting for her to continue.

"'Cause He spent so much time on them, " she gestured towards the family in the backyard. The father and mother had joined the child, and they looked so happy together. "And for me, He got lazy. Got ample mental illness, personality flaws…" Her fingers subconsciously clenched. "Like, have you seen me? Yelena? Melina and Alexei? How messed up we are."

"While their only flaw seems to be that they have none at all," she continued, gesturing again towards the family. The child sat on the father's shoulders while their mother took a picture of them.

And then Natasha repeated, her voice heavy with emotion, "Do you ever see someone and think, 'Wow, God must hate me'? Because I do."

As Natasha's words hung heavy in the air, you felt your heart breaking for her. Gently, you spoke up, your voice soft but firm.

"Nat, it's not your fault. None of it is. It's the Red Room's fault, Dreykov's fault, for putting you through all of that," you said, trying to reassure her. "And maybe even God's fault, if one chose to believe in the almighty."

She let out a bitter laugh, her sarcasm cutting through the air like a knife.

"For everything that's wrong with me, I can't hold myself responsible. So I blame the metaphysical, because obviously, they're the ones who killed those people, not me, because I wasn't the one holding the gun," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Natasha continued to speak, her words weighing heavily on your heart.

"You know, a nun came up to me today. She told me that Jesus died for all our sins. If Jesus died for all our sins… He left one behind, the body I'm in," she said, her voice filled with sorrow.

Then, in her usual defensive humor, she added, "That means that the same hands that made the moon and the stars obviously got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts."

You didn't chuckle at her attempt at humor. Instead, you intertwined your fingers with hers, a silent gesture of comfort, and told her not to speak like that.

"I thought you didn't even believe in God," you said softly.

But Natasha continued, her voice barely above a whisper, "I don't know what I believe. But it's easier to think He made a mistake with me."

You felt a lump form in your throat, the weight of her words hitting you like a ton of bricks.

As the neighbor's child laughed loudly, climbing up the tree in their backyard, her mother fretting while her father cheered her on, Natasha smiled wistfully at them.

" Do you ever see someone and think, 'Wow, they got lucky'? The craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body," she said softly, her gaze fixed on the family.

She seemed to drift into a reverie before continuing, "All I got at her age…" She pointed to the girl. "Was a fake family, scars, and pain."

"Babe," you started, unsure of what to say.

But Natasha continued, her voice distant, "When I look into the mirror for too long, it hurts. And don't get me started on how I eat. I can eat the least amount of food ever and want to enjoy myself with one dessert, and see another person do the same, except they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert."

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky"

I'll let 'em take accountability For everything that's wrong with me Can't hold myself responsible So I'll blame the metaphysical If Jesus died for all our sins He left one behind, the body I'm in Same hands that made the moon and the stars Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I don't know what I believe But it's easier to think He made a mistake with me

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me" 'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy

You listened quietly, feeling her pain as if it were your own. You wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, that she was perfect just the way she was. But you knew that words alone wouldn't be enough to heal her wounds. Natasha's words overwhelmed you, the lump in your throat growing bigger. You wanted to cry too, but you held it in, knowing that Natasha needed you to be strong for her.

"I'll be right back, Nat," you said softly, gently pulling away from her and making your way into the house.

Once inside, you took a deep breath, trying to gain some emotional control. And so you busied yourself making a cup of tea for Natasha, knowing that if you went out right no, you'd be of no help and she'd just shut you out.

As you looked out the window, you noticed that it had started raining. You felt a pang of worry when you saw Natasha still sitting on the porch, getting soaked by the rain.

Without a second thought, you rushed back outside, ignoring the rain as you pulled Natasha in from the porch. She didn't respond, but you wrapped her in the warmest hug you could manage, holding her close despite the rain soaking through your clothes.

"Do you want to change?"

Natasha remained numb not replying , so you too matters into your own hands. You gently scooped her into your arms, carrying her upstairs to the bathroom. She didn't resist, didn't protest, just allowed you to take care of her.

You stripped her out of her wet clothes, bathing her gently, all the while she remained unresponsive. You helped her into your favorite pajamas of hers, knowing how much she loved wearing them, and then tucked her into bed, attending to her needs with care and tenderness.

Despite holding back your own tears, you offered her words of comfort, reassuring her that you were there for her, that you would always be there for her.

Finally, as you tucked her in properly, Natasha showed the first sign of emotion. She grabbed onto your now wet t-shirt, pleading with you not to go, repeating the words over and over again like a mantra.

You gently brushed the hair away from her face, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere, Nat," you whispered, your voice filled with reassurance. "I'm just going to change my clothes, and then I'll be right back. I promise."

With one last comforting squeeze, you reluctantly pulled away, leaving Natasha alone in the bed as you made your way to the bathroom to change.

After you changed into dry clothes, you climbed back into bed with Natasha, gently dragging her into your arms so that your back was resting against the headboard, and she was nestled between your legs with her back to your front. You wrapped your arms securely around her waist, resting your head on her shoulder, holding her close as she remained numb and silent.

"Nat," you began softly, your voice steady but full of emotion, "I know you feel like everything you've been through defines you, but I want you to see the other side of it too."

She stayed quiet, but you continued, knowing she was listening.

"You talked about your childhood and how it felt like a fake family. But that 'fake' family is the one who threatened to end me when you told them we were dating," you said, a small smile playing on your lips at the memory. "They cared for you so much that when we had that huge argument, Alexei broke down my door and shattered my vase, just to make sure you were okay."

Natasha's fingers twitched slightly, a sign she was absorbing your words.

"That 'fake' family knew you so well that Melina sent me your favorite foods when you were feeling down. And Yelena, she almost killed Clint and me because of Vormir. She loves you so much, Nat. They all do."

You could feel her body gradually relaxing ever so slightly in your embrace.

"And let's not forget the Avengers. Clint has scolded me more times than I can count when we fought. Tony gave us a whole ass house to live in. Steve and Sam drop by weekly just to check in. Wanda and Peter are practically our kids. Kate and Yelena—they're like sisters to us, though I'm sure they're dating at this point. Maria and Fury even gave me death threats when they thought I hurt you, and they are scary, almost enough to rival you and Lena."

You paused, feeling a lump form in your throat as you continued, "Whether or not you realize it, you're so lucky to have people who love you like that. The Red Room did awful things to you, but it didn't destroy you. It made you who you are today. A survivor. A sister. A daughter. A friend. A best friend. A girlfriend."

Tears filled your eyes, but you held them back, focusing on Natasha.

"I'm not saying the Red Room made you stronger, because that would dismiss the pain you've been through. But it shaped you into the incredible person you are. And you are loved, so deeply and fiercely."

You held Natasha tightly, feeling her slowly beginning to trust your words as her body leaned into yours for comfort. The rain continued to fall outside, creating a soothing background noise as you continued to speak, wanting to reassure her as much as you could.

"And that thing you said about not being able to look at yourself in the mirror? That's total bull crap," you said softly, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Because you look so freaking hot and sexy to me, Nat. Every time I see you, I can't believe how lucky I am."

You felt her body relax a little more in your arms, and you took a deep breath, continuing.

"I love you, regardless of anything. The Red Room, Dreykov, all the horrible things that happened—they don't define you. What defines you is your heart, your strength, your kindness. And if God really does exist, yeah, he put you through some serious shit, and I hate him for that. But he sure made up for it with the family you've gotten, and he sure as hell blessed me by giving you to me."

Natasha's grip on your arm tightened even more, and she turned slightly to look at you, tears in her eyes.

"Don't go," she whispered again, her voice breaking.

"I'm not going anywhere," you assured her, your own voice trembling with emotion. "I'm here, and I'm staying right here with you."

You held her tightly, feeling her slowly begin to trust your words, her body leaning into yours for comfort. As the rain continued to fall outside, you both sat there in silence, wrapped in each other's embrace, knowing that together, you could face whatever came next.

"I love you, Nat," you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. "And I'm here for you, always."

She nodded slightly, her head resting against your chest. "I love you too," she murmured, her voice soft but filled with emotion.

As Natasha finally fell asleep, cuddled up against you, you carefully reached for your phone, not wanting to disturb her. You opened the "Widow Family" group chat, which consisted of Yelena, Alexei, Melina, Natasha, and you. You quickly typed out a message:

WIDOW FAMILY 🕷️🕸️

You: Hey Nat rlly needs u all right now. Can u come by in about an hour?

Within moments, replies started to come in:

White Widow: I'll be there.

Red Guardian: Of course! I’ll bring borscht!

Mother Widow: On my way.

Feeling reassured, you then switched to the "Earth's Best Squabblers" group chat, which included all the Avengers. You typed out another message:

EARTH'S BEST SQUABBLERS 🤡🤡

You: Hey guys Nat rlly needs u rn Can u come by ASAP?

The responses were almost immediate:

Tin Can: On my way. Pepper & Morgan too

Capsicle: Be there soon.

Birdy 1: Already heading over. Laura and the kids are tagging

Green Bean: I'll be there.

Metal Arm: Be there in 20

Birdy 1's 2.0: Lena and I are on our way.

Point Break: I shall arrive promptly!

Witchy: I'm coming.

Birdy 2: Be there in a few.

Spidey Boy: Swinging over now!

You put your phone down, feeling a surge of gratitude for the people in your life. Carefully, you adjusted yourself, making sure Natasha was as comfortable as possible without waking her. You held her close, watching her sleep, knowing that soon, the people who loved her most would be there to support her.

--

When Natasha began to stir and slowly opened her eyes, you gave her a gentle smile, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.

"Hey, sleepyhead," you said softly. "Someone's here to see you."

She looked at you curiously, and you took her hand, leading her downstairs. As you approached the living room, the sounds of laughter and chatter grew louder. Natasha's eyes widened in surprise when she saw everyone gathered.

The room was filled with laughter and chatter. Yelena, Kate, Wanda, Peter, Lily and Cooper were huddled in one corner, engaged in animated conversation. Alexei, Steve, Tony, Clint, Sam, Bucky, and Rhodey were sharing beers and laughing loudly. Pepper, Melina, and Laura were chatting away in another corner, their voices blending into a soothing hum. Nathaniel and Morgan were playing on the floor, while Lila and Cooper were with Peter and Kate, joining in the fun.

Yelena, Kate, Wanda, and Peter were huddled in one corner, talking animatedly. Alexei, Steve, Tony, Clint, Sam, Bucky, and Rhodey were sharing beers and exchanging stories. Pepper, Melina, and Laura were chatting away, their faces lit up with smiles.

As you led Natasha into the room, everyone turned to greet her, their faces lighting up with warmth and affection. You gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and guided her further into the room.

Natasha looked around, her eyes softening as she took in the sight of her family and friends, all here for her. You could see the gratitude and love in her eyes.

"Hey, everyone," she said, a small smile tugging at her lips.

Yelena rushed over, pulling her into a tight hug. "About time you woke up, sestra."

"Hey, Nat," Steve called out, raising his beer in a toast. "Good to see you."

One by one, everyone came over to greet her, sharing their love and support. The room was filled with warmth and laughter, a stark contrast to the somber mood from earlier.

As the evening went on, you found yourself sitting on the couch with Natasha perched on your lap, your arms wrapped around her protectively. She was joking around with everyone, her smile genuine and her laughter heartfelt.

At one point, she leaned in close to your ear and whispered, "Thank you."

You smiled, feeling your heart swell with love. "I love you, Nat," you whispered back. "And so do they."

She looked around the room, taking in the faces of her family and friends, and nodded. "I know," she said softly. "I really do."

You held her close, feeling a sense of peace settle over both of you. In that moment, surrounded by the people who loved her most, you knew that Natasha was starting to heal. And you would be there, every step of the way.

[biblomaniac]

Warm.

Lena felt almost uncomfortably warm, body nearly sticking to the cotton sheets she was in. The position she found herself in was familiar, Kara wrapped comfortably around her back, arm thrown carelessly over her waist.

However, despite waking up in a familiar bed, in a familiar position, something was drastically different. She was naked. Naked. With Karas arm across her waist and hand spread protectively over her stomach. What. The. Fuck.

She lifted the duvet carefully, trying to assure herself this could absolutely not be happening. Yet, lo and behold, she was indeed without clothes, and so it seemed was Kara.

Panic consumed Lena’s groggy mind. Her body tensed, all thoughts of warmth and comfort replaced by fear. She prepared to leave, deciding it would be best to get up quickly, but that plan failed almost instantly.

It seemed that even in sleep, the blonde was very aware of her surroundings. She was intent on keeping Lena in the bed with her. The hand on her stomach pulled her body back into the hard plane of Kara’s midsection.

Dear God. This is not going well.

Lena doesn’t move, staying stock still as she waits for Kara’s breathing to settle back into a gentle rhythm before trying to escape again. This time, she scoots slowly out of the bed, replacing herself with the pillow she laid on last night.

This time, she’s successful, managing to tiptoe away from the bed, watching as Kara frowns into the pillow she now clutches. A moment goes by, Lena watching in anticipation as Kara relaxes back into the bed, inhaling the scent of the pillow.

Whew. Close one.

Making her way past the curtain that divides Kara’s bedroom and living room, Lena manages to locate most of her clothes from the night before, sans her underwear. The panicked brunette pulls what she can find on quickly, grabbing her dead phone and heels left sitting haphazardly by the door before exiting the apartment. Once in the elevator, Lena rubs at her throbbing forehead, eyes pressed tightly together with only one thought coursing through her mind,

What have I done?

__________________________

Cold.

There was a calming warmth next to her body last night that is absent when she awakes. Kara reaches her hand out, feeling the cool sheets on the empty side of the bed instead of a snuggly Lena.

She frowns, opening her eyes and searching for her companion. She scans the bedroom, empty; turns on her x-ray vision to see into the kitchen, empty; and spreads her hearing to the bathroom, empty.

Kara throws off the sheets, emerging from her room to look in the living room, seeing every trace of Lena missing. Her heart aches, thinking that Lena would leave so soon after what they’d done last night. Her thoughts spiral, quickly becoming negative. She tries to think logically, reasoning what she knows about her paramour with her actions last night and this morning.

Maybe last night wasn’t good for her.

But Lena would’ve said something in the moment, right?

I guess I’m not what she wants.

But Lena wouldn’t have kissed her, had sex with her, fallen asleep with her after if she didn’t feel something in return.

No. Lena’s always busy. Maybe she just had an emergency at L-Corp.

A plausible excuse indeed, yet it saddens Kara to think that last night didn’t mean enough to Lena for her to stay, or at least wake Kara up to say goodbye.

The hero decides that she has to see Lena today, to clarify what last night meant for them. The first order of business is to shower. Kara spends extra time under the water thinking about what to say and do around Lena when she’s sees her. She doesn’t want to come off too strong, or emotional, or too clingy.

Leaving the bathroom, Kara quickly dresses in an olive Henley, black slacks and brown loafers. She searches through her jewelry box for the Figaro link chain Lena bought her for her last birthday. Once the treasured piece is found, Kara exits her apartment, closing the door behind her and setting off to Noonans to grab a late breakfast before searching for Lena.

____________________________

Once at home, the brunette immediately goes to the bathroom, intent on washing the shame of her mistakes away. She sheds her clothes quickly, dropping them into the hamper before turning the water on in the shower. Turning around to grab a rag, Lena catches a glance of her body in the mirror.

Jesus.

Lena’s body was covered in love bites, some red, others purple, and a few already turning green with healing. If Lena hadn’t woken up where she did, she would be concerned about the logistics of how she got all these bruises. Her fair skin has always been prone to bruising, leaving her with one bruise or another at any given time.

The scientist pokes and prods at a few, relieved that they don’t seem to hurt. Honestly, she can’t believe Kara did this. The mild-mannered reporter may be made of steel, but she’s still the sweet, goofy, woman she met years ago in her office.

Lena stares at her reflection until the mirror is too foggy to look in. She gets into the shower, careful of the hot water.

I’m bruised enough as it is. I don’t need to add any burns to the mix.

Overall, her shower is quick, washing her body and hair thoroughly before stumbling through the doorway into her bedroom. Ruffling through the drawers, Lena pulls out a pair of panties and a shirt Kara left behind ages ago but Lena has failed to return. The oversized shirt is comfortable and still vaguely smells of Kara. Once dressed, Lena drops heavily into her bed, shuffling under the covers.

Her eyes water, and she finally gives into the urge to cry.

***********************************************

After buying a few too many pastries, Kara listens for Lena’s heart, finding it in the CEOs own apartment, but beating just a tad too fast. Kara zones in, making sure that Lena is okay. The lub-dub of the brunettes heart is quick, not in fear or distress, but in anxiety.

Kara forgoes the walk across town she planned to take, choosing to find an alley to fly off from instead. As her updated Super-suit materializes from her glasses, Kara wraps her breakfast in her cape, wanting to keep it warm and safe from the wind. It only takes Kara half a minute to reach Lena’s balcony across town. She touches down gently, deactivating her Super-suit while using her handprint to unlock the balcony door.

“Lena?” Kara calls, wanting to announce her presence.

There is no response.

Moving into the spacious living space, Kara sets the pastries on a tray in the oven to keep warm, more than familiar with the layout of Lena’s home after years of friendship.

She makes her way into her best friend’s bedroom, wanting to talk to Lena about their night together. When she knocks on the door, she receives no response.

“Lena? It’s me, Kara. Your, your best friend. Can I come in?” She receives no response.

“Lena? I know you’re in there. If you don’t say no, I’m going to come in.”

Kara waits for a no, but when she hears nothing through the door but sniffles, she enters the room. She immediately spies Lena under the covers, trembling softly. The blonde sits on the bed, pulling the covers back slowly, only for Lena to hide her face in her arms.

“Lee, what’s wrong?” she questions.

Lena only cries harder, soft sniffles devolving into full blown sobbing.

“Oh, Lee. C’mere,” Kara lifts Lena’s body to lay in her lap, cradling her close. One hands rubs Lena’s spine, noting the shirt she’s been missing for months, while the other cards through inky black hair.

Lena presses her face into a toned stomach, hiding her obvious tears from Kara.

“Why are you here?” she cries. Lena was convinced their relationship would be ruined. It makes no sense that Kara would be here, consoling her so sweetly after last night.

“What do you mean? I came to talk. I woke up and you were already gone,” Kara says. She’s embarrassed to have to explain further, but Lena’s reaction is confounding.

“I’m sorry, Lena. If it wasn’t good, or I did something you didn’t like, you can tell me. I would never want to ruin our friendship over something as trivial as—as sex.” she stutters.

The brunette releases a strangled sound, moving away from Kara’s lap. She sits among the island of pillows on the bed, arms circling her legs as if to protect herself from the self-imposed onslaught of emotion.

“Trivial?” she questions, fear and anxiety turning into a spark of anger.

“Ye—yeah? It’s just sex, if you want it to be. I would never let that ruin our friendship. You mean more to me than that.” Kara tries to explain.

“It’s not, it’s not trivial, Kara! It meant something to me,” Lena says ashamedly, head turning away to stare at the wall.

Kara is more confused now than she was mere moments ago. “So what’s wrong? I don’t understand. Why are you crying if it meant something to you?”

“Because—because everyone leaves after! No one sticks around after they’ve taken what they wanted from me. So I decided to leave, before you could,” Lena explains, voice watery.

“I was never going to leave, Lena. We were in my apartment for Rao’s sake!”

“You know what I mean! No one wants anything from me but my mind, my money, or my body. No one wants the Luthor bastard—“

“Hey! Don’t say that,” Kara starts.

“Why not? It’s true, it always has been.”

Lena looks downright pitiful. Beautiful eyes watery, face wet with tears and lips trembling as she tries to hold in her cries.

“I want you!”

“No you don’t!” Lena denies, voice rising hysterically.

“Lena, I would never use you like that. Is that what you think of me; that I’m some vulture?”

“I don’t know what to think! Everything happened so fast. One minute we were on the couch watching a movie and the next we were together in your bed. What more could you have wanted?” Lena questions hotly.

“You, Lena. Rao, I’ve always wanted you,” the blonde confides.

Lena denies her claim swiftly, harshly wiping her face with the back of her hand, “You don’t mean that.”

“Of course I do, Lee. Why would you sleep with me if you thought it wouldn’t mean anything?”

“I…I was weak. I’ve wanted you for so long. I couldn’t deny the chance to have you, even if knew it would break me the next day.”

Kara reaches for Lena’s arms, pulling them away from her body and towards her own. Using one hand to tilt Lena’s head up, the hero urges Lena to face her.

“Look at me, Lena.”

When emerald eyes meet her own, Kara smiles softly. “I told you last night; I love you. I didn’t lie to you. I love you, with every fiber of my being. You mean the world to me, Lena Luthor.”

Hearing a declaration she’s only dreamed of, the scientist surges forward, intent on kissing Kara as quickly as possible. Kara has to lean back, just enough so that Lena doesn’t crash into into the equivalent of a brick wall. Their kiss was short, but sweeter than pure sugarcane.

“I love you, too. I’m sorry for leaving. I was scared,” Lena says against Kara lips.

Kara pecks her lips once, twice, three times before she replies.

“It’s okay, Lee. I forgive you. I love you so much,” she repeats.

Lena is forming her reply when a loud growl erupts from the aliens stomach. The pair burst in laughter, thankful for the levity Kara’s stomach of steel has brought.

Lena edges off the bed, reaching a hand back to Kara once she stands. “Okay, let’s go feed the monster.”

Kara agrees quickly, grabbing the outstretched hand in her own. They’ve just passed through the doorway into the kitchen when Kara stops walking, pulling Lena back to herself by their connected hands.

“Kar, what—“

Kara cuts Lena off with a kiss. It’s deep and passionate, sweet like candy and right as rain. When Kara disconnects a few moments later, she lays a peck to Lena’s cheek before resuming their trek to the kitchen.

“C’mon, Lee! I’m starving.”

Lena just follows willingly, dazed and in love.

[tortillamastersblog]

♕ No Matter What - Part 7 | Lena Luthor ♕

Pairing: Lena Luthor x reader

Warnings: mentions of some shooting, throwing up, blood and death

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist

________________________________________________

I get up with shaking hands, watching Lena as she begins pacing.

“Who is he?” she snaps. “Your boyfriend?!”

I flinch and take a step back. Not only am I completely taken aback by her sudden lack of trust, I’m also fragile because of the reminder of what day it is tomorrow.

“Lena— What? No! He’s not my boyfriend,” I defend quietly, my voice wavering. I swallow to get rid of the growing lump in my throat, but it just makes it worse.

Lena whips around and stares me down with a harsh glare. “No? Then who is he and why did you try to hide it when his name popped up on your phone?”

I open my mouth to reply, but the words get stuck in my throat. What has gotten into her? She has no right to attack me like this. Not when I haven’t given her a single reason not to trust me.

Scoffing when I don’t answered, she aggressively runs a hand through her hair. “That’s what I thought. My God, I should have never listened to Sam. You’re just like everyone else. A lying, cheating—“

“He’s my brother!” I blurt out weakly, every word she just said breaking my heart. My knees are weak and it’s taking everything in me not to break down crying right now.

Lena pauses and raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “Nice try. You told me you don’t have any siblings. Honestly, I don’t know how I let this whole thing between us get this far.”

I feel my bottom lip tremble and avert my eyes to the ground. Why is she being so cruel? I clench my fists and work my jaw as Lena goes on berating me.

“And to make up a brother. . . You really are something else. You know, if it weren’t for your contract I’d fire you on the spot.”

A tear rolls down my cheek and I lift a trembling hand to wipe it away. I don’t say anything and just stare at the floor, waiting for Lena to continue.

She doesn’t go on however and when I dare to glance at her I find her watching me incredulously.

“Why are you cry—?”

“I am not making him up,” I say sternly which seems to surprise her. She opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off again. “And I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t have any siblings because he’s dead.”

Lena’s eyes widen.

“It’s the anniversary of his death tomorrow and I was planning on leaving some flowers on his grave, hence the reminder. And I didn’t want you to see because I’m not ready to talk about what happened yet.” I grab my bag from next to the couch and sling it over my shoulder, too hurt to even acknowledge the regret on Lena’s face. “Now, I know you can’t fire me, but I can quit, so don’t worry. You’ll have my letter of resignation on your desk by tomorrow morning.“

“Y/N, that’s not what I— I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. . . Please don’t—“

I hold up a hand and shake my head with a stray tear rolling down my cheek. “No, don’t worry about it, Ms. Luthor. I should probably get going now if I am to accompany you to the office later.”

Lena looks close to tears as well now, but I don’t give her a chance to say anything else as I brush past her, leaving without turning back.

How everything could go this wrong this quickly is a mystery to me.

It makes my heart ache and part of me is screaming at me to turn back and forgive Lena for jumping to conclusions. The other part however, the one that is irreversibly hurt by what just happened, is telling me to leave, which is what I ultimately do.

Maybe Lena was right. Things shouldn’t have gone as far as they did between us. I am, after all, just her bodyguard.

A year ago– Somewhere overseas. . .

“Christ I’m sweating like a pig,” Noah grumbles, pulling at the collar of his uniform.

We’re standing outside in the blazing sun, guarding the locals as they unload the truck of supplies we brought them. It’s a day like any other and for weeks now nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

“Yeah? Well, stop fretting, you’re only making it worse,” I scold lightheartedly as I shift the gun in my arms. It is hot, yes, but Noah is being a baby about it.

Harper snickers beside me and Noah sends her a dirty look. “You two are unbelievable,” he says with an eye roll, however when he turns his attention back to the locals I see a faint smile on his lips.

Harper beams and shoves me playfully. I smile and return the gesture.

That’s when one of the locals approaches me. “We’ve finished unloading the truck. Thank you again for all your help.” He stretched out his hand and I shake it with a polite nod.

“You’re welcome. Is there anything else we can—?”

The sound of screeching breaks makes me whip my head around and my eyes widen at the sight of an old truck that has come to a stop in a cloud of dust.

Several men, armed with guns jump off the back of it and before I can call out any orders, they open fire on me and my squad.

“Get down!” I shout, pulling the local behind a stack of rice bags. “Miller, radio for help!”

Harper and Noah join me while the rest of the squad finds shelter behind our truck.

Bullets whiz past us everywhere and the panicked screams of the locals make my stomach flip.

Stay calm! I remind myself, gripping my gun until my knuckles are white. Panic will get you killed.

“Miller?” I shout again as I peak over the bags, returning some of the fire before ducking back down. “Miller, where are you? Jones? Martinez!”

There’s no answer and knowing what that means, I clench my jaw and force away the burning feeling behind my eyes.

“What do we do?” Harper shouts next to me as she reloads her gun. “We’re trapped.”

Miller was the only one in the squad with a radio because for weeks now everything’s been calm and some superiors decided the extra radios should go to the squad’s that actually fight the rebels, not the ones doing supply runs.

“There’s a radio in the truck!” I remember, but the chances of getting to it without being hit are slim to none.

I have to do something though, so I grab Noah by the collar and pull him closer so he can hear me over the gunfire. “You two, cover me!” I shout, ignoring the way his and Harper’s eyes widen in terror.

“No! You can’t—!” he begins to protests but I tighten my grip on his uniform which shuts him up.

“I can and I will! I’m your superior officer and I’m not losing anyone else today, you hear me?!”

Noah has tears in his eyes, but he nods nonetheless. I turn to Harper to find her with the same, horror filled eyes.

“Do you hear me?” I ask again, swallowing the fear that’s bubbling up in the back of my throat.

“Yes, Sergeant!” They reply in unison and I take a deep breath before counting down.

“Alright, on three. One, two, three!” I jump up, gun at the ready, and move to leap over the bags of rice.

As soon as I get to my feet though, I’m knocked back by something hitting my shoulder. I cry out in pain and fall back down, clutching at where I’ve been hit.

One of the rebels must have waited for one of us to show themselves…

“Y/N!” Harper screeches, pressing her hand down on my chest a little below my shoulder. “Fuck!”

The local who’s frozen in place, pales at the sight of my blood and throws up right in his lap and if it weren’t for our current circumstances I would have gagged at the sight.

This can’t be how it ends!

I grit my teeth and shove Harper’s hand away. “I’m fine. We have to try again. We need to get to that radio!”

I try to get a hold of my gun again but as soon as I move, a jolt of pain shoots through me and I fall back with a pained whimper.

It’s enough for Harper to press her hand against my shoulder again, pinning me down with a warning look. “You can’t do this. You’re losing to much blood. We’ll have to think of something else.”

I shake my head and fidget with the clasp of my helmet. It feels like the strap is strangling me, but I know better than to take it off.

“There’s no time, Harper! Just let me—!”

“I’ll do it.”

I turn my head to find Noah watching us with a blank stare. I’ve never seen him like this and I know whatever he’s thinking can’t be good.

“I’ll do it,” he says again and that’s when I realize what he means.

“You will do no such thing!” I say sternly as he goes to return some of the fire before ducking back down.

“But we need backup!” he argues and I watch as a bead of sweat drips from the tip of his nose.

It really is hot today, isn’t it?

“You’re not going out there, Private. That is an order!” I wince when Harper applies more pressure to my shoulder.

“I can’t just let you die!” Noah screams and he reloads his gun with newfound determination. “I’m going to get that radio and call for backup!”

I grab his arm and yank him back down just as he’s about to get up. “No, you are not! You’re staying right here. We’ll think of something else.”

Noah’s eyes meet mine and for a moment the gunfire around us is muted. He smiles apologetically and takes the hand I have on his arms into his own.

I’m sorry, he mouths and before I can stop him again he’s escaped my grasp.

“Noah!”

Present– National City. . .

After showering and getting ready for the day, I make my way back to Lena’s apartment building where I wait for her by the front desk after shoving my bike into the janitors closet.

Ann tries to strike up a conversation as soon as her eyes land on me, but when my replies come out somewhat clipped, she lets it go.

I honestly don’t know what I’m feeling right now. Earlier I was hurt and angry, but now I’m not really feeling anything.

I will do my job as professionally as I can and have my resignation letter on Lena’s desk by tomorrow morning, just like she wanted.

I am still worried about Lex coming after her, but she’s made it clear what she thinks of me and I can’t do my job if she doesn’t trust me.

When the elevator doors open and Lena steps out, her eyes dart around until they land on me. She relaxes visibly and approaches quickly with regret and worry written all over her face.

“Y/N, I’m sorry about earlier. I should have never said what I said and I don’t want you to—“

I shake my head and square my shoulders, trying my best to sound professional when I say, “Don’t apologize, Ms. Luthor. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’m just here to do my job.”

Lena deflates and she frowns sorrowfully. “Y/N, please. . . I didn’t mean—“

I check my watch and clear my throat, cutting her off once again. “We should get going if you don’t want to be late for your interview with Ms. Danvers.”

Lena’s bottom lip trembles and I have to dig my nails into the palm of my hand to stop myself from rushing forward to comfort her.

Her words cut unimaginably deep earlier and I can’t forgive her for it just yet. Or ever. I haven’t made my mind up about it yet because all I can think about is Noah and Harper who tried calling me again just before I got here.

“Alright then,” Lena gives in with a dejected sigh.

We go outside where Alfred is already waiting in the car. I open the rear–passenger door and wait until Lena gets in. Then I close it, ignoring the hurt in her eyes when I opt to sit in front with Alfred, rather than in the back with her like I normally do.

The interview with Kara had gone well, as far as I could tell when Lena hugged the blonde goodbye with a genuine smile. That smile, however, faded when her eyes met mine briefly and she quickly disappeared into her office again, leaving me outside with Jess who was busy at her computer.

And that’s where I’m still at right now, reading a news article on my phone while Lena’s in her office with Sam who decided to show up ten minutes ago.

Upon seeing me, she instantly knew something was wrong, but I just waved her off when I could feel Lena watching us from the doorway to her office.

She didn’t say anything but sent me a look that made it clear we were going to talk about what was going on as soon as we were alone.

“You did what?!”

Sam’s shriek makes me flinch and I can’t help but move a little closer to the closed office door. Jess isn’t at her desk because she went out to get coffee, so I don’t have to worry about getting caught eavesdropping.

“I know, I messed up pretty badly.” Lenas muffled voice sounds like she’s genuinely sorry and I know for a fact that they’re talking about what happened this morning.

“You think?” Sam retorts sarcastically. “God, Lena. . . What is wrong with you?“

“I don’t know, Sam!” Lena sounds desperate and it makes my heart ache involuntarily. “I just— I’ve been burned so many times before and Jack—“

“Y/N is not Jack though,” Sam cuts in and it’s quiet for a moment.

Then Lena mumbles what sounds like, “I know. . .” followed by a “What am I supposed to do now?”

I sigh and move away from the door again. What they’re talking about is none of my business even though they’re taking about me.

It also doesn’t help that I wouldn’t be able to answer that question myself. What could Lena possibly do to undo what she did this morning?

I honestly don’t know and before I can lend that question any more thought, my phone starts ringing.

I glance at the screen to see that it’s Harper again.

I roll my eyes with half a mind to decline the call, but then I think better of it and reluctantly answer with a strained, “What do you want, Harper?”

________________________________________________

I’m not all too happy with how this part turned out, but I’m not in the mood to rewrite it. Proofreading (like always) will be done over the course of the next couple of days.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that I love your comments and that I read every single one of them even though I don’t reply to all of them <3

Tag list: @nuianced-tck-enby @autorasexy

[thornedrose44]

16 supercorp please 🥺

Prompt: “Eat the rich, am I right?”

(Read on AO3)

Kara threw back the shot, swallowing the alien liquor in one go, desperately seeking the fuzziness and disconnection that only inebriation could bring.

“Woah, slow down there.” Alex laughed, “You know since adopting Esme my alcohol tolerance has plummeted.”

“Right… sorry.” Kara mumbled, moving to adjust her glasses only for her fingers to brush bare skin, the surprise of it and the sheer stupidity of the action making her gaze dart over to the spot she’d ordered herself not to look at. 

She grimaced and quickly drank another shot. 

Alex’s brow immediately pinched with concern, her head twisting round to track down whatever sight had provoked the discontent in her sister; before she had a chance to locate the issue, Nia was falling into the booth beside Alex, giggly and slightly sweat-sheened from dancing. Brainy slipped in next to Kara, looking equally flustered and energetic. 

“This place is amazing! We should come every week!” Nia declared jubilantly.

“I concur!” Brainy agreed instantly, his smile wide, lopsided and smeared with a purple shade that matched Nia’s lipstick. 

“Let’s see if you both feel the same in the morning…” Alex drawled, sipping her pint glass of water, having made the smart decision to alternate alcohol with hydration. 

Nia either pointedly ignored this statement or had already mentally moved on from the conversation, Kara couldn’t really tell which, too busy sneakily taking another shot. Nia was already shifting in her seat, head rotating this way and that way, desperate to get back out on the dance-floor and burn more energy as she took hasty sips of the cocktail Alex and Kara had been guarding.

“Holy moly!” Nia exclaimed, going still as her eyes locked onto something. “Those two are about to get it on.”

“What? Who?” Alex asked curiously, even as Kara went rigid, eyes burning and heart racing.

“Talk about eat the rich, am I right?” Nia snorted, nudging Alex’s side as Alex slowly turned back to meet Kara’s gaze, her expression painfully sympathetic and understanding. “I knew Lena and Andrea had a whole thing but I had no idea it was heating back up again. I mean hot damn. Hey, Kara?” Nia murmured, leaning over the table, head lolling forward like an eager puppy with absolutely no filter. “Did you know? Do you think Lena’s going to go home with Andrea? Do you think they’re going to get together? Oh my god, can you imagine if they like properly date or… get married? How rich would they be together? Do you-”

CRACK-BANG

The table of their booth splintered apart, thudding loud and heavy to the ground - Alex let out a wince of pain as it banged her knees on the descent, Nia and Brainy’s alcohol levels dulling them to the impact.

“Shi-Shoot, I… I am so sorry…” Kara said, staggering to her feet, stomping the debris harder into the ground and inadvertently making any repair impossible.

“Is everyone okay?” 

Kara cringed, looking over to find Lena, Andrea and Kelly - all of them having rushed over the instant they heard the noise. Staff were approaching but a wave from Lena and promise to pay for the expenses kept them at bay. Kara could barely look at her best friend, shoulders hunched up high and body curled forward with shame and in a vain attempt to mitigate the ache in her chest. 

Lena was in a black dress with a high cut up the thigh; her hair was loose, curly and voluminous like a dark-haired Sandy from Grease. Her cheeks were flushed a bright pink, eyes dark and sparkling and the neck of her dress was pulled off one shoulder to reveal the expanse of tempting flesh. 

(Kara had watched Andrea’s hands tease at the split in Lena’s dress, fingertips kissing the flash of thigh before marking a path up Lena’s side, hooking around the edge of fabric to pull it to the side allowing Andrea’s nose and the ghost of her lips to trail along Lena’s collarbone).

“We’re fine.” Alex answered immediately, getting to her feet and reaching for Kara - only for Kara to sway backwards out of reach and nearly fall over.

Hands in all directions reached out to steady her but with her ears filled with the sound of Lena’s familiar thrumming heartbeat is it any wonder that she fell towards Lena who touched her like she was fragile rather than a wrecking ball?

“You okay?” Lena whispered, head ducking forward so the words were just between the two of them.

Kara blinked into caring green eyes, breath catching in her throat so stubbornly that she felt herself actually choke on it - words totally beyond her capability.

She shook her head, unable to stop the action. 

Lena’s face instantly set, becoming determined and clear as if all the alcohol was instantly purged from her system. Hands that had been delicately placed on Kara’s shoulders to offer maximum stabilisation, traced down her arms until their fingers were tangled - locking them together. 

“I’m taking Kara home.” Lena declared, barely glancing around at the rest of the group.

Kara knew her sister would frown, considering whether to step in but would ease back if Kara shuffled that little bit closer to Lena - proving that this was what she wanted. During the shuffle forward, Kara caught a glimpse of Andrea’s expression: strained, disappointed and not so slightly annoyed. Any sense of victory Kara would have felt at provoking such a reaction was diminished by how Lena released Kara’s hand to fleetingly squeeze Andrea’s forearm, murmuring a promise to call or text when possible.

The interaction soured the mix of liquids in her stomach and as Lena led her out of the side-exit of the club to avoid scrutiny, Kara had to stop them so she could throw up in the gutter. Lena held her hair back, fingers cold and soothing on the back of Kara’s heated neck, her words even more gentle. Lena guided Kara into her chauffeured car, forcing her to drink water and then letting her rest her head on her shoulder and play with Lena’s fingers for the whole journey. 

They arrived back at Kara’s apartment, Lena still steering her with infinite care, helping drink more water and get changed into pyjamas - Lena purposefully looking away whenever bare skin was exposed which only made the ache in Kara’s chest all the more pronounced. 

“Why does she get to touch you like that?” Kara asked when she could no longer hold the drunk-induced words back.

“Hmm?” Lena hummed, raising an eyebrow curiously as she tucked the duvet in around Kara’s heavy-limbed form, “Who gets to touch me like what?”

Kara pursed her lips, looking into the far corner of her room as she muttered darkly, “Andrea…”

Lena froze for a painful beat, and Kara was suddenly acutely aware of how her eardrums throbbed with the remnant bass of the club. Lena slowly pulled away standing up to her full height as she peered down at Kara, her expression inscrutable.

“Because she asked, because she showed interest.” Lena said eventually, the words clipped and sharp. “You’ve never even tried to touch me like that. Never given any indication that you would want to…”

Kara still adamantly refused to look at her, fingers fidgeting with the edge of her quilt.

 “I know you went out on a date with William Day.” Lena murmured, and Kara cringed away at that. 

She was aware that she had said yes to him because she hoped he would reduce how much she thought of Lena but all it did was make Lena feel all the more easily replaced and forgotten.

Lena sighed and pinched her brow with index finger and thumb as if this conversation - if Kara - was producing a migraine. “Nevermind. You should sleep.”

“Are you going to sleep with her?” Kara asked quietly, wanting the salt to be rubbed into her wounds, wanting the burn in the hope that the sheer sharpness of it would reduce the underlying ache.

“If she asks…” Lena whispered hesitantly - Kara lived and died a thousand times over in that minor pause -, “probably. Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

“I don’t like her.”

“I didn’t like Mike or Mon-El.” Lena shot back, shaking her head. “That’s not a good enough reason.”

“Then what would be?” Kara demanded, head turning towards her, gaze focused on the white flash of thigh through the slit in Lena’s dress - still not able to look up into her green eyes.

“If you like me more.” Lena breathed.

Kara licked her lips, lungs inflating to put the long-awaited declaration out into the world only for her jaw to snap shut and her tongue to stick to the bottom of her mouth.

 “You can’t say it, can you?” Lena laughed, the sound mournful and broken. “That’s the difference, you know? She’s not scared or embarrassed to like me, to ask to touch me.”

“Is that what you think: that I’m embarrassed?” Kara cringed, head bowing down as if she was praying to Lena, offering herself up in supplication.

“I don’t know,” Lena admitted, “but when I have no alternative… what should I default to thinking? If you say and do nothing despite my repeated invitations to it’s either because you don’t like me like that or you do but you don’t want to act on it.” 

Another pause, another chance for redemption.

“It’s… I…” Kara began falteringly before trailing off into the heaviest of silences.

Lena sighed again, hand reaching out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Kara’s ear, “Go to sleep, Kara.”

[lgbtimelords]

a fanfic i'll never write, part 3:

couldn't have loved me better

Kara sees the woman lying, bloody and dirty, in the tower’s medical and sighs.

Not another one, she thinks. One was one too many.

Bizarro. Overgirl. Red daughter.

Once is a mistake. Twice is a pattern. Three times is a habit. Four times is… fucking ridiculous.

She doesn’t have time for this. She really doesn’t.

She’s still too tired from her trip to the Phantom Zone. She needs to write that non-existent article for Andrea. She wants to sleep, a day- maybe two. She promised Alex a sister’s night with Kelly and Nia a lunch together. She wants to eat way too many boxes of potstickers until her stomach hurts and wants to watch a movie. She needs to call Eliza, maybe fly over to Midvale, too. She needs to answer all the pilling up texts from James, Lucy and Cat. But all she wants to do is curl up in her bed and cuddle with Lena- not that she’d ever voice that wish.

She wants to go back to that time before the reveal when touching was simple and normal. A hand on Lena’s back. A hug to say hello. A hug to say goodbye. Lena’s hand on the crook of her elbow as they walked together. Fingers through dark hair when it got messy. Fingers pulling up her glasses when they fell to the tip of her nose. Touch was… a thing. Their thing.

Now, other than the emotional and aching hug after Kara’s return, they haven’t touched. And Kara desperately wants to.

Half of it she blames it on her own need to know Lena is actually alive, actually here. And that none of the nightmares she went through in the Phantom Zone were real. She wants to make sure Lena’s heart is actually beating behind her ribs, make sure her head isn’t playing tricks on her and the heartbeat she hears isn't just an illusion. She wants to put a strand of hair behind her ear and make sure it’s as soft as always.

But Lena is careful and unsure around her— and it hurts her a little bit. Although she gets it, she’s unsure too. She’s not sure where they stand. And Kara’s restless nights, she’s too drained, physically and emotionally, to have such an important conversation with Lena right now. And by the heavy dark circles under Lena’s eyes and the way she keeps rubbing the back of her stiff neck, Kara guesses she’s as tired as her.

But now, after being rudely woken up at five am, she watches as Lena takes the woman’s arm- the woman that looks exactly like her- and softly wraps a bandage around it. It’s the softness that Lena does it with that makes Kara stop.

Her fingers softly trace the place where there’s a deep cup in the woman’s arm with a white-ish cream before she delicately wraps it. She does it with the one on her arm, then moves into her wrist- before she’s carefully cleaning a nasty cup above the woman’s brow, Lena’s face too close to her face. It almost looks like Lena is leaning in to kiss her and Kara wants to scream.

“You shouldn’t do that,” she says bluntly, making Lena jump, a hand on her chest as she moves away from the woman, “she should be okay after a while under the sunlamps.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” she says, extending a tablet to Kara, “her blood work and every other test we’ve done so far came back human.”

“What?”

“I’m waiting on Alex to come by with the DNA test results but…” Lena trails off, unsure of her own next words.

Kara huffs- half laugh, half disbelief. She throws herself in the chair next to Lena’s computer. Or more like the tower’s computer that Lena is always using and because of that had taken the name of “Lena’s chair”. Lena’s computer. Lena’s side of the tower. Kara likes to hear that.

“That’s a new one,” she says, looking curiously at the woman, “I was half expecting a fight as soon as she woke up.”

“Well, I wouldn’t lose hope just yet,” Lena says, smirk on her face, “this still seems to be one version of you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” she smirks at Kara, “I just think you can be a little hot headed darling, that’s all.”

“Me? Hotheaded,” she gasps, “okay now you’re lying.”

“Oh, so it’s a lie that you used to say punching first, questions later?”

Kara groans again and throws her head back, making herself spin a little in the chair, “I hate that you and Alex talk a lot now. It’s unfair.”

Lena is smiling, that soft and kind smile Kara loves so much- and just when she moves her mouth to answer her, the woman on the bed is groaning loudly. Lena turns around, her face covered in worry, as she gently puts her hands on her shoulders- stopping the woman from moving around.

“Where’s everyone?” Kara whispers, as she hands Lena the syringe she wordlessly asked for.

“Alex should be here any minute, I sent Brainy home because he looked exhausted.”

Lena effortlessly inserts the syringe into the IV and the blonde goes still in the bed again. Now that she’s closer to her, Kara can see that while she does look like her, her face is somehow... different.

There’s some freckles in her face Kara knows she doesn’t have. Her hair is maybe one or two shades darker and there’s a lot of tan lines, one on her face clearly marking her nose, and on her body, she can see the lines of a bathsuit on her shoulders and one tiny scar of a vaccine on the side of her arm.

Her body is not as solid as Kara’s either, she notices when she helps Lena turn the woman to her side so she can tend to the wounds on her back. There’s muscles on her arms and back but they’re not as defined as hers, neither are her abs- they’re more like a soft line on her belly instead of the six pack she possesses.

It’s weird. It looks like her, except that when you look at her, she doesn’t.

“Do you want to have dinner?” Lena asks, as she sits down in one of the sofas in front of Kara, after checking and rechecking the vitals of the woman lying in bed.

“It’s five thirty am, Lena." She’d laugh, if she wasn’t so worried about the fact that the brunette has been neglecting her health again.

“Oh,” she sounds surprised, even as she checks the clock on the wall to confirm that, yes, it is five in the morning. She looks at Kara confused, “What are you doing here then?”

“Alex called. Said she needed to go out and you needed help.”

The answer is just Lena pressing her lips together, “I told her not to call you. You need to rest.”

“Lena-”

“-Kara,” she interrupts, “you’re exhausted. I know you are.”

“It’s okay,” she says, and wishes she could reach out and touch her hand. Be brave enough to do something as simple as to touch someone’s hand. “I want to be here.” With you.

Lena is hesitant but nods anyway.

“Really early breakfast then?”

Kara smiles, “Well, I won’t say no to that.”

They walk side by side, Kara’s pinky touching Lena’s- and she’s gathering all the streghtn inside herself to grab Lena’s hand when a loud gasp makes them turn around.

The woman is sitting up on the bed, the bandages on her arms turning red as she moves her hands up to her throat. She’s coughing and coughing and her back is so arched as she bring her head to her raised up knees that Kara wonders if it’s painful.

“Don’t move too much,” Lena says, walking closer to her and grabbing a water bottle on one of the tables.

It's like the words click a switch on the woman's mind and as quickly as her stiff muscles allow her, she wraps her arms around Lena as soon as she sees her. The woman's hands make a fist on Lena's clothes and her face hides in the crook of Lena's neck.

“My love,” she chokes out like a prayer.

[trashpandato]

Earth

It’s a few days after the initial flurry of Kara coming out to the world as Supergirl. Kara won’t lie; she’s exhausted. It’s a combination of days of back-to-back interviews, of juggling her new responsibilities as Editor-in-Chief along with her appearances as Supergirl, both in a crime fighting capacity as well as those appearances that were more for show. Several weeks of nervous anticipation paired with new demands on her time have taken their toll. 

But finally, finally, she gets to relax with Lena on her couch one Friday evening.

They’ve had dinner already, sharing a few dishes from the new Thai restaurant that Kara has been dying to try for a while, and now Lena is sipping on her wine while Kara works her way through a container of ice cream. After this week, she deserves an extra treat, or three.

Lena has been quiet all evening, uncharacteristically so. Usually, when it’s just the two of them, Lena doesn’t hold back. Kara is about to ask her what’s wrong when Lena puts her wine glass down and fixes her with a searching look.

“You know,’ she says, her words hesitant and a little shaky, “I’m surprised you’re still here.”

Kara frowns. “What do you mean? This is my apartment.”

“No, I mean, here. On Earth.”

At that, Kara shifts so she can face Lena more fully. She doesn’t ask any more questions, wants Lena to get out what she needs to say without interruption.

“With Nyxly defeated, and Lex gone, hopefully for good this time, I thought you might want to, um, go home. To Argo. Be with your parents.”

Kara can hear the fear in Lena’s voice, can see the way her hands tremble a little. She has a pretty good idea how much courage it has taken Lena to broach the subject, and her heart aches a little when she thinks about how long Lena must have sat with these thoughts, mulling them over, stewing, like she does when she is worried about something.

“Lena,” she says, trying to infuse the next few words with as much clarity and conviction as possible, “I am home. Sure, eventually I’ll want to go visit Argo again for a couple of weeks, but Earth is home for me now. This is,” she adds, waving her hands between them, “you are.”

There’s a small gasp and then Lena looks up at her, eyes wide.

“Me?”

Kara nods and takes both of Lena’s fidgeting hands in her own.

“I feel like we still have unfinished business, you and I. With Nyxly and Lex and all the chaos they brought, we’ve barely had time to breathe. To talk. To think about what we want, moving forward.”

Kara watches as Lena tilts her head to the side just a bit. “What we want?”

“Mm. I know what I want. I know that I can’t envision a life without you. But I think we need to talk about what you want, too. I’ve been the one making decisions for the both of us for too long. I want to do it right, this time.”

Lena doesn’t answer, not right away. For a moment, all she does is stare at Kara, mouth slightly open, like she can’t quite believe what Kara just revealed. Kara isn’t sure if she should continue, if she needs to spell out for Lena that her dreams of the future include a shared home, a wedding in Midvale, lazy Sunday mornings in bed, and Lena at the center of it all. But before Kara can decide, Lena surges forward and crashes their lips together. It’s forceful enough that Kara tips backwards, surprised by Lena’s speed. It means that their first kiss isn’t quite what Kara had imagined it might be, a soft, delicate thing by the door before Lena heads out for the evening. Instead, Kara’s back is pressed into her couch and Lena is on top of her, pushing herself as close as she can get.

When Lena eventually pulls back a little, her lipstick smeared and her hair askew, there’s a bright smile on her face, the kind that makes her nose scrunch up a little.

“I know what I want, too.”

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Supergirl Radio is discussing some of the recent episodes of My Adventures with Superman, and they're kind of musing about the implications of Brainiac being able to wipe/alter Kara's memories.

Which means I am 100% besotted with the idea of this Kara meeting a version of Lena. Not sure which version, but one who'd be able to commiserate with the manipulation and unraveling of their familial reality and having to recondition themselves to the real world, in all its painful glory.

So clearly a world where Lena is a Luthor. Lex is pretty young in My Adventures with Superman, which would imply that Lena would be younger, but I want her to be of an age with Kara, so maybe Lena and Lex are twins in this universe? Equally brilliant but polar opposite personalities.

Lex wants more and more of the spotlight, which ultimately makes him unreliable, to the point that Lena kind of becomes the dependable one by default? Who seemingly gets all of their father's approval, which pisses Lex off to no end, but she's still left walking a razor's edge?

All Lena wants is to do good and belong. Which, funnily, is what Kara aches for too. Maybe they meet in the park one day, choosing the same bench to be miserable and dour on as they watch the rest of the world be happy and playful.

Maybe Kara asks Lena a question about the meaning of life on Earth, which startles Lena but it shakes them both out of their misery long enough to notice-- oh no, she's hot.

And then they become friends, and Kara introduces Lena to Clark, who's thrilled Kara has found a new friend on Earth, but no one knows she's Lex's sister. When she's eventually outed (how, idk), they're automatically suspicious, despite the fact that Lena has given no indication she shares her brother's beliefs.

It breaks her heart, and Kara can't stand to see her sad, so she seeks Lena out so Lena can explain how all her life she's been compared to and associated with Lex. As though the minute she refuses to be part of the Lena and Lex duo, she just ceases to exist. How maybe early on she adored her brother and took his word as gospel, until she started to think for herself-- and completely lost her brother as a result.

And in losing her brother she lost herself, and ever since she's been trying to put herself back together, into a complete person who can exist without Lex. But for all her hard work, the moment her identity as his twin is revealed it all unravels again. But she doesn't blame them, not really. She'd probably think the same, in their shoes--

Until Kara wraps her up in a big hug and simply clings to her, until a surprised Lena finally relaxes into the embrace and returns it. Kara trusts her, no matter what Clark or his friends say. For the first time, she has the choice to believe in who and what she wants.

She chooses Lena.

[harleychick91]

Where I Need To Be (Rated M)

Being trapped in the Phantom Zone took its toll on Kara in more ways than one. Plagued with nightmares and unable to cope with the Welcome Home party, Kara asks Lena for help. Without question, the former CEO gives it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58464073

The moment Kara walked into the room, I saw her eyes never able to meet anyone else's. With each hug, she flinched. My heart ached seeing her hands clench and unclench like she's trying to ground herself in reality. When she came to hug me and our eyes met I saw it, blind fear. As Kara leaned forward to hug me, I whispered, “Are you okay? You don't need to be here just to make us happy.”

Holding me tight, she whispered, “Get me out of here, please. I can’t do this.”

“Okay.” Keeping one arm firmly around the blonde, I use Lex’s portal watch. As we stepped through, I heard Alex and our friends begin to panic.

Once the portal closed behind us, Kara’s shoulders relaxed. “Where are we?” She looked around the small, open concept house.

“A place where no one will come looking for us. No one knows I own this place. If you don’t want to be found, you need to get out of that suit.” I motioned towards the farther wall. “Through the bedroom is the bathroom. I’ll get you some clothes if you want to shower.”

“I really do.” Taking my hand, Kara met my gaze. “Thank you for not asking questions,” she paused. “You’re the only one who I knew wouldn’t question me.”

Every fiber of my being wanted to entwine our fingers but I resisted. She needs someone to protect her right now. Not someone who has feelings more than friendship. “You’re welcome. I’ll need to find the tracker in your suit or completely destroy it.”

“It’s in the left shoulder. I’ll let you know when I’m in the shower so you can get it.” Releasing my hand, Kara started towards the bedroom. Hesitating at the door, she chose her words. “Will you….will you sit with me? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Anything you need.”

Turning, Kara leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over her body. “Honestly, at the moment, part of me wants you to burn the suit.” Looking over her arms, she continued, “I spent months in it. The second I got back, it was straight to a sunbed. I was still in this suit at the tower. Alex didn't even get me a change of clothes or a pillow. She knows I sleep best with two pillows and a soft blanket.” Sighing, Kara leaned her head back. “I know they love me, I love them too, but it all felt…off. I've had nothing but time to think while I was in The Phantom Zone.” A soft smile ghosted the Super’s lips. “Do you realize, even when we were fighting, we looked out for each other more than those we teamed up with looked out for us?”

Thinking over the time period, one moment stood out more than others. The terror I felt when I thought Kara would be shot with the kryptonite canons still gives me nightmares. “You’re right, we did.”

“Alex stayed at the D.E.O. and wiped her memories when I needed her the most because she was needed there to keep me safe. But after Crisis, when I needed her to help me handle Lex, she leaves because she's not in charge. You look out for me. I need that right now."

Coming to stand closer, I spun the ring I wore. “If you want, I can destroy this suit and make you another. Think about it. However,” I placed my hands on Kara’s biceps to ground her. “Right now, you need to go shower. Wash the D.E.O. off. I will always look out for you. You’re my priority. I had a lot of time to think while you were gone,” I paused. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet but I will in time. I’ll give you a few minutes before coming to sit with you.”

“Okay.” Wrapping me in another hug, Kara nuzzled her face in my hair, inhaling my scent. She’s been touch deprived for months. Resting my chin on her shoulder, I held her close. I’ll give you as much contact as you need. It was something I always craved but never got. Begrudgingly, Kara released me and went into the bathroom.

After gathering loungewear and towels, I knocked on the cracked door. “May I come in?”

“Yeah,” Kara’s voice cracked.

What was that? Entering, I set the clothes on the counter and hung the towels by the opaque shower door. Closing the toilet lid, I sat. “Once you’re settled for the night, I’ll get us food and you a phone, if you’d like. It’ll take me a while to get jammers set up to cover any phone calls we need to make.” Hearing more sniffles, I shifted. “Kara?” A sob echoed through the bathroom as Kara slid down the shower wall. That’s a dangerous kind of sob. I crossed the distance between us in a few steps. Whoever might be listening, help me. “I’m coming in.”

Opening the door, I saw Kara sitting with her knees against her chest, forehead resting on her arms. Water streamed over her. Kneeling, I pulled her into my arms. “Hey, I’m right here.” Shifting, I sat and Kara moved so she could cling to me. Burying her face in my chest, she wept. “If you need to scream, scream. No one is around to hear you,” I paused, remembering what happens when she claps too hard. “Unless the sound wave is going to shatter my bones. Then, maybe, decrease the volume a bit.” A soft chuckle was muffled by my now drenched clothing. I can’t reach the knob to turn the water off. I don’t want her to think, even for a second, that I’m leaving her.

We sat under the water until it stung like ice. My clothes stuck and hung from my body as I began to shiver. Calming down, Kara sniffled. “You’re shivering,” she murmured. Looking at the stream of water, she realized the hot water was gone. “How long have we been sitting here?”

“45 minutes or so.” Feeling that Kara was in a better place, I reached up and turned the water off. “You can shower later. At least you got rinsed off.” Getting to my feet, I grabbed a towel and held it out for Kara to step into. Standing, the older woman sighed, exhaustion clear in her dull blue eyes. “Let me do it.”

Carefully, I dried her off starting with her arms, her shoulders, her back, her stomach, and I knelt to dry her legs. I averted my eyes the entire time. When I had to dry the more intimate areas, I paused. “May I or would you prefer to do it?”

“I’ll do it.” Taking the towel, Kara finished drying herself.

Gathering the sleepwear and underwear, I turned back to face the now towel clad woman. Tossing the clothing over my shoulder, I squeezed the excess water from her hair. “There’s some food here so I’ll cook once you’re dressed. I heard your stomach growl a few minutes ago.”

“You did…” Looking over her body, Kara shrugged. “It’s almost like you know my body better than I do right now.”

“You’re talking to someone who has clawed her way back from dark places more often than I’d care to admit.” Reaching for a fluffy robe, I held it out and the clothing to let Kara choose. “Either is perfectly fine. I just can’t have you walking around naked.”

A soft chuckle shook the woman’s shoulders. “Even with you dressing me, clothes sound like a lot.” Taking the robe, Kara slid into it and tied the belt.

“I completely understand.” As we passed through the bedroom, I tossed the clothes onto the bed.

“I don’t know about snacks but I think there’s beef jerky. I’ll definitely do a grocery order soon.”

“That works.” Taking the package, Kara tossed a few pieces into her mouth. “Before food, will you take the tracker out of my suit?”

She really doesn’t want to be found right now. “Sure. I’ll be right back.”

Finish reading on AO3

[marinawolf]

So the poll has spoken and you guys wanted fluffy supercorp first- so here ya go. SPEND A WHOLE SUNDAY WITH SUPERCORP. Be warned- this is just FOUR THOUSAND words of pure fluff. no plot. just fluffy supercorp being cute and in love.

(IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE)

(P.S. still working the spicy supercorp fic. looks like it'll be just as long as this one. ALSO PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS ONE! IS IT TOO LONG? TOO CHEESY? TELL ME WHICH PARTS YOU LIKED AND DISLIKED!!!!!!!! I WANT TO CONNECT WITH YOU GUYS- TO TALK AND STUFF BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL AMAZING AND WE LOVE THE SAME THING!)

Sundays (Supercorp)

by marinawolf

The gentle vibration of Lena's watch acted as her personal alarm, rousing her from the realm of dreams into a reality more blissful than she could have ever imagined. She blinked away sleep, her eyes adjusting to the soft light filtering through the curtains. Lena's arms instinctively tightened around the warm, naked form of Kara, who remained sound asleep, blissfully unaware of the early hour.

A smile tugged at Lena's lips as she looked upon Kara's adorable slumbering face. Her tousled hair cascaded around her, an unruly halo that only added to her enchanting allure. Lena's gaze traced the delicate lines of Kara's features—the gentle curve of her cheek, the slight pout of her lips, and the serene expression that painted her face.

In the tranquility of the moment, Lena's heart swelled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. She was captivated by the sight of Kara, at peace in her arms. It was in these moments, where the outside world was hushed and time seemed to stand still, that Lena truly appreciated what the universe had given her.

With great care, Lena extricated herself from Kara's embrace, untangling their limbs one by one. As she moved, Kara stirred, letting out a soft grumble and instinctively pulling Lena closer. Lena's smile widened, her heart fluttering with warmth at Kara's unconscious desire to keep her close.

Unable to resist the temptation, Lena leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Kara's forehead, her lips lingering for a brief moment. She whispered softly, as if the words were meant for Kara's dreams alone, "I'll be back, my love."

Treading lightly, Lena tip-toed around the room, careful not to disturb Kara's peaceful slumber. Her movements were slow and deliberate, in an effort to not disturb Kara. She reached for her clothes, pausing occasionally to steal glances at Kara, unable to resist the allure of her presence.

She marveled at the way the soft morning light played upon Kara's features, enhancing her natural radiance. Lena's heart ached with a sense of wonder, knowing that she had found her forever in Kara.

As Lena finished dressing, she stood at the threshold of the room, her eyes once again drawn to the slumbering form on the bed before moving towards the kitchen, busying herself with making her morning coffee. As the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, Lena made her way to her home office, barefoot and focused. She settled into her chair, surrounded by the familiar comforts of her workspace. Today, she had an important project to tackle, something that required her undivided attention for the upcoming week.

She delved into her work but her thoughts occasionally drifted to Kara. She couldn't help but wonder when her girlfriend would finally awaken from her peaceful slumber. But she knew that Kara deserved the rest that weekends offered. While Lena admired Kara's unwavering commitment and selflessness, she couldn't help but feel a surge of protectiveness. She wanted nothing more than for Kara to experience rest, relaxation, and the freedom from the burdens she carried. Lena recognized the toll that Kara's superhero duties and long work hours took on her, and she made it her mission to make Kara's weekends as relaxing as possible.

Hours passed, and the clock struck 9 am. With a contented smile, Lena closed her laptop and rose from her desk. It was time to fulfill one of her favourite weekend rituals—one that never failed to make her happy. Lena made her way to the kitchen, her steps light.

In the kitchen, Lena set to work, preparing a delicious breakfast for Kara. She cracked eggs into a bowl, expertly whisking them before pouring them onto the sizzling pan. The aroma of bacon filled the room, mingling with the scent of freshly flipped pancakes. She carefully brewed Kara's coffee just the way she liked it, knowing that the aroma would soon entice her from her slumber.

As Lena cooked, a sense of contentment enveloped her. This simple act of making breakfast for Kara had become something special, something she looked forward to. A testament to the love she felt for Kara. Each time, Kara's surprise and excitement for the meal only deepened Lena's appreciation for the woman in her life.

It hadn't always been this way. Lena recalled the years they had spent hiding behind fears and uncertainties, denying the undeniable connection that had always simmered beneath the surface. The tension between them had been palpable, but it took time and circumstance to bring them together, and she was grateful for every turn that brought them to this moment.

Now, as she stood in the kitchen, filling plates with eggs, bacon, and fluffy pancakes, Lena couldn't help but feel a profound sense of gratitude. Kara's presence in her life had transformed everything, turning the mundane into the extraordinary. She marveled at how a simple act of making breakfast for her girlfriend could make her so happy.

Lena carefully arranged the tray, placing the freshly cooked breakfast and steaming coffee upon it. With the tray in her hands, Lena made her way back to the bedroom.

Pushing open the door, she entered the room to find Kara still nestled in the bed, sound asleep. The soft morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow upon her peaceful form. Lena's heart fluttered as she approached the bed, captivated by the sight of her beautiful partner, a vision of serenity.

With a smile playing on her lips, Lena set the tray on the night stand and leaned down, placing a tender kiss on Kara's soft lips. "Good morning, darling," she whispered, her voice carrying a mixture of affection and warmth.

Kara stirred, her sleepy smile breaking through as her eyes slowly fluttered open, adjusting to the gentle light. She wrapped the sheets around her naked body as she sat up, the morning air giving a slight chill to the room. As her gaze met Lena's, a spark ignited within her, and a smile that could melt hearts spread across her face. "Morning, beautiful," Kara greeted, her voice filled with love and adoration.

Lena's heart skipped a beat, as it did every morning when Kara greeted her with such genuine affection. The way Kara looked at her, as if she held the entire world in her eyes, made Lena feel so special. It was a feeling she could never tire of.

Lena's smiled as Kara's sleepy eyes widened in excitement at the sight of the carefully prepared breakfast tray. She brought it to the bed, placing it between them, creating a cozy space for breakfast in bed with her girlfriend.

Lena found herself entranced by Kara's presence as they ate. Her gaze wandered, admiring the way Kara's hair fell in tousled waves, framing her face with an ethereal beauty. The intimacy of sharing breakfast in bed, the simple act of spending a Sunday morning together, held a significance that transcended the ordinary.

As they finished their breakfast, Kara leaned in, capturing Lena's lips in a sweet morning kiss, filled with tenderness and affection. Lena could tase the bitterness of the coffee and the sweetness of the pancakes on Kara's lips.

Kara stood up, allowing the sheet to gracefully fall from her body, and Lena's eyes traced every curve, every line that made up Kara's exquisite form. The morning light danced upon her skin, accentuating her beauty in a way that took Lena's breath away.

Kara turned to Lena, her eyes sparkling with playful mischief, and issued an invitation that sent a shiver of anticipation down Lena's spine. "Join me for a shower, Miss Luthor?" she asked, her voice laced with both innocence and seduction.

A surge of heat flushed through Lena's body. She nodded, her voice husky with desire, "Certainly, Miss Danvers."

As Lena followed Kara into the bathroom, she couldn't help but notice the perfection of the moment.

--

Lena stepped out of the shower, wrapping her towel around her, the steam from the bathroom still clinging to her skin. She followed Kara into the room, the echoes of Kara's touch, which had brought her to the peak of pleasure mere moments ago, still reverberating within her and the taste of Kara lingering on her lips.

Before getting dressed, Lena pressed a soft kiss to Kara's lips and Kara smiled, lighting up the overcast day.

As Lena dressed, she couldn't help but steal glances at Kara, who mirrored her actions. The sight of Kara slipping on Lena's old MIT sweatshirt tugged at her heartstrings. It was a seemingly insignificant gesture, but one that held profound meaning. Lena knew it was cheesy, but the sight of Kara in her clothes always made her happy. She thought back to the night she had first lent Kara the sweatshirt. It had been a casual movie night at Lena's penthouse, back when they were still just friends and hiding behind their fears, when Kara, in her adorably clumsy manner, had accidentally spilled wine on her shirt, leaving an indelible stain. Lena had offered her the sweatshirt to change into.

The following morning, Lena had walked past the guest bedroom and caught a glimpse of Kara peacefully asleep, her face nestled against the fabric of the sweatshirt. Lena had felt a surge of happiness, a glimpse into a potential future with Kara, even though fear held her back from pursuing it fully. In that moment, she had wished that she was waking up next to Kara, instead of in a different bed. She never asked for the sweatshirt back, thinking that it had never looked as good as it did on Kara. And now, she watched as her girlfriend slipped into that same sweater, and marvelled at how their relationship had shifted into something greater than she could have ever dared to wish for. 

Lena, now clad in a cozy sweater, observed Kara's struggle with her tousled hair, a mischievous smirk playing on her lips. She knew all too well that the disarray was a result of her desperate fingers that had been tangled in Kara's hair just a few minutes ago. Unable to resist, Lena stepped forward, positioning herself behind Kara, their bodies lightly brushing against each other.

Gently, Lena gathered Kara's hair, skillfully pulling it up into a neat ponytail. Lena couldn't help but press a tender kiss to Kara's neck, feeling the delightful hitch in Kara's breath. Sensing Kara's reaction, Lena's heart skipped a beat.

Kara turned around, her lips meeting Lena's in a kiss that immediately reignited Lena's desire. They reluctantly broke the kiss, their panting breaths mingling in the air.

"Darling, if we continue like this, we'll never leave this room," Lena whispered, her voice laced with a mix of playfulness and longing.

Kara's lips curved into a mischievous smile. "Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing," she teased.

Lena chuckled, her fingers tenderly brushing against Kara's cheek. "As tempting as that sounds, my love, I do have some work to finish," she admitted reluctantly.

Kara pouted adorably, her brows furrowing in a mock plea. "Can't you take a break? We could watch a movie together," she suggested.

Lena's resistance wavered and she smiled, giving in to Kara.

"Alright, I'll join you on the couch," she agreed, her voice tinged with amusement. "But I'm bringing my laptop so I can work while we watch," she added, a hint of doubt creeping into her words. She knew deep down that productivity would be a distant memory in Kara's presence.

A gentle rain began to fall outside as they snuggled up on the couch, a soft blanket enveloping them and Kara leaned comfortably against Lena. Lena immediately abandoned any thought of work, completely captivated by the presence of Kara beside her. Instead of opening her laptop, she wrapped her arms lovingly around Kara, pulling her closer.

With a bowl of popcorn nestled between them, Kara took charge of the movie selection, choosing a ridiculously scary film that promised thrills and chills. As the tension built on the screen, Kara couldn't help but react to every jump scare, her startled jumps accompanied by infectious laughter from Lena. With each suspenseful twist and unexpected scare, Kara's body jolted, eliciting genuine jumps and yelps. The contrast between Kara's invincible nature and her vulnerability to cinematic frights amused Lena to no end.

As Kara absentmindedly fed Lena popcorn, Lena's fingers playfully grazed Kara's cheek, tenderly brushing stray strands of hair behind her ear. She pressed a gentle kiss to Kara's head, and in that moment, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them enveloped in their own little universe.

--

Later that evening, Lena stood by the kitchen counter, a warm smile gracing her lips as she watched Kara expertly mix cookie batter. They were eagerly preparing a batch of cookies in anticipation of a visit from Alex, Kelly, and Lena's adorable goddaughter, Esme.

As Lena's gaze traveled up Kara's face, she noticed a dusting of flour on Kara's cheek. Lena's smiled, finding the sight irresistibly adorable. With a soft chuckle, she leaned in, her thumb gently wiping away the flour as she pressed a kiss to Kara's lips.

"Seems like you've got a little something right here," Lena murmured. "You know, you're incredibly adorable like this," she continued, capturing Kara's lips in another sweet kiss. Lena's hands instinctively found their place on Kara's waist, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened. She could taste the sweetness of the batter that Kara had tried as she mixed. The bowl of cookie batter slipped out of Kara's hands, and landed on the counter with a loud clatter, causing them to break apart laughing. Thankfully, it landed the right way, and the batter was safe.

Kara glanced up, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "If you keep distracting me like that, there will be no cookies and you'll have to explain that to Esme."

Lena laughed, holding her hands up.

"Okay, okay. No more distractions. I don't want to suffer Esme's wrath."

Kara grinned at Lena as she picked up the cookie batter again. They resumed their baking duties, their movements synchronized as they mixed, scooped, and placed cookie dough on the baking sheet.

"Esme is growing up so fast," Kara said with a fond smile, leaning against the counter as Lena carefully placed the final tray of cookies in the oven, "I can't believe it'll be her birthday soon. We need to find her the perfect birthday gift."

Lena nodded as she picked up the bowl of leftover batter, scooping some out with her fingers to taste, her mind already spinning with ideas. "I was thinking something cool, like a drone or a mini electric car."

Kara chuckled. "Maybe for this birthday we could think a bit smaller. Something cute and small that won't cause absolute destruction to their house?"

Lena always wanted to spoil Esme, because what was the point of being a billionaire if she couldn't spend a lot of money on the people she loved? And she loved that little girl so much. But she knew that Kara was right. Esme could be a handful and putting a drone control, or the steering wheel of a little car in those little hands could only lead to disaster.

"Okay," Lena relented, "We'll go shopping next weekend. To find something small," She jokingly rolled her eyes as she said the last part and Kara stuck her tongue out at Lena.

Just then, the elevator's cheerful ding announced the arrival of their guests. Kara's face lit up with a wide grin, knowing that Alex, Kelly, and Esme had finally arrived. But as they left the kitchen, a whirlwind of energy collided with Lena, catching her off guard and sending her tumbling to the floor. It was Esme, the little bundle of joy, who had thrown herself into Lena's arms with uncontainable excitement.

But the excitement didn't stop there. As Lena tried to stand up, Kara, unable to resist the playfulness, launched herself on top of the hugging duo. Esme's giggles filled the air as she squirmed and wriggled, thoroughly tickled by the combined efforts of Lena and Kara. The sound of their laughter mixed with Esme's infectious joy, creating a harmonious melody of purehappiness.

Alex and Kelly entered, witnessing the scene with fond exasperation. Looking at Kelly, Alex playfully muttered, "They're all children," shaking her head at the sight before them.

Eventually, they managed to regain their breath and composure, standing up from the laughter-filled heap. Esme's eyes widened as the delightful aroma of freshly baked cookies reached her senses, and with a burst of anticipation, she sprinted towards the kitchen, enthusiastically chanting, "Cookies!"

Lena's laughter accompanied her as she watched Esme's infectious excitement. Meanwhile, Kara hurriedly followed Esme into the kitchen. Lena warmly greeted Alex and Kelly, enveloping them in affectionate hugs and taking their coats.

Alex teasingly remarked, "You guys spoil her."

Lena grinned, "That's our job."

They entered the kitchen to the sight of Kara kneeling in front of Esme, breaking a cookie in half and offering one piece to the delighted little girl, and placing a piece in her own mouth. Kara's eyes sparkled with joy, her radiance captivating Lena in that very moment. It was a glimpse of perfection, a snapshot of happiness that Lena wished she could freeze in time. The soft glow of the kitchen lights danced in Kara's eyes, and Lena couldn't help but get lost in them.

In that moment, Lena's gaze lingered on Kara, captivated by her warmth and the way she effortlessly embraced the role of nurturing aunt. It was in these simple acts of love that Lena's heart expanded with a longing for a forever with Kara.

As Kara's eyes met Lena's, a knowing smile graced her lips.

--

As the evening drew to a close, Lena and Kara found themselves in the cozy confines of their kitchen, the remnants of a delightful evening with Alex, Kelly, and Esme still lingering in the air. Lena stood by the sink, her hands submerged in warm, soapy water, washing the dishes with a contented smile. Kara, her ever-enthusiastic self, stood by her side, ready to assist by drying and putting away the dishes.

Lena glanced at Kara, her heart swelling with affection as she handed over another plate for her to dry and put away. "You know, I really enjoyed tonight," Lena murmured softly, her voice carrying a tinge of happiness.

Kara beamed, reaching out to take the dish from Lena's hands.

As they focused on the domestic task at hand, their conversation shifted towards their plans for the upcoming day.

"So, Super Reporter, what exciting adventures await you tomorrow?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. Kara had been making waves with her articles recently, and Lena couldn't be prouder.

Kara's eyes sparkled with excitement as she spoke. "I have an exclusive interview with the CEO of ZinTech for their new tech unveiling. He never speaks to anyone!"

Lena's lips curled into a proud smile as she admired Kara's passion. "Well, you're not just anyone, are you?"

Kara blushed adorably, and immediately turned her attention to Lena. "And what about you, my brilliant CEO? Any big plans for tomorrow?"

Lena's expression softened, her gaze locking with Kara's. "I have a crucial meeting with the board of a company I hope to acquire. I need to convince them that our visions align. It's a bit nerve-wracking."

Lena had been stressed. This board was notoriously difficult to deal with, and the company was in demand. So they were being extra picky, knowing that they had every option available. Lena had to present herself as the best option.

Kara reached out, her hand gently caressing Lena's cheek. "Lena, you'll do amazing. They'll be lucky to have you. And besides, who could resist Lena Luthor?"

Lena couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth in her chest. Kara had an uncanny ability to make her feel like she could conquer the world. She leaned into the touch, reveling in Kara's affectionate reassurance. Before she knew it, Kara leaned in and pressed a tender kiss against Lena's cheek, filling her with a sense of comfort.

"Thank you, Kara," Lena whispered, her voice tinged with adoration.

As Lena and Kara finished the last of the dishes, Lena turned to survey the kitchen. A sense of warmth and homeliness enveloped the space, replacing the once stark and empty atmosphere.Before Kara moved in, the kitchen had been a utilitarian area, devoid of personal touches. It had been a place where Lena stored her takeout containers in the fridge and occasionally paused for a glass of wine. But now, it was so much more.

Lena's eyes scanned the room, taking note of the subtle signs that marked their life together. A plant they both took turns watering stood in the corner, it's leaves vibrant and beautiful. On the shelves, colourful mugs that Kara liked to collect were lined up, each more ridiculous than the next. A cookie jar sat on the counter and Kara ensured that it was always stocked with Lena's favourites. Lena couldn't help but smile at that.

Kara's coat hung on the back of a chair, and Lena's heels were tucked under the table, exactly where they had left them on Friday night when they sat at this table to eat the pizza Kara had flown to Central City for.

Lena didn't even realise when her stark penthouse had turned into a home.

--

Lena climbed into bed, snuggling against the soft pillows, book in hand. Meanwhile, Kara moved around adjoining closet, carefully packing away her notebooks and laptop for the next day, fidgeting with her recorder.

The bedroom was filled with the soft glow of the bedside lamp, casting a warm ambiance that invited relaxation. Lena was immersed in her book, allowing herself to be transported to another world.

However, her blissful reading was interrupted by the sound of Kara's footsteps approaching the bedroom. Lena couldn't help but feel a mixture of amusement and anticipation. She knew all too well that Kara had a knack for playfully distracting her.

As Kara climbed into bed beside her, Lena pretended not to notice, determined to maintain her focus on the book. But Kara had other plans. With a mischievous smile dancing on her lips, she leaned in and planted a series of gentle kisses along Lena's neck and behind her ear.

Lena's breath hitched, a jolt of pleasure coursing through her veins. She fought to keep her attention on the words before her, but Kara's touch was a tantalizing distraction. Her fingertips traced a path of light feathery strokes along Lena's arms, her waist, and gradually ventured to her thighs.

Sensations swirled within Lena, her heart quickening its pace. The words on the pages became blurry, as Kara's playful exploration ignited a fierce desire within her. Lena could feel the intensity building, the craving for Kara's touch growing stronger with each passing moment.

Unable to resist any longer, Kara slowly pulled Lena's book away, her eyes darkening with a hunger that mirrored Lena's own longing. The room seemed to hum with a charged energy as their gazes locked.

In that exhilarating instant, Lena surrendered to the magnetic pull between them. With a surge of passion, she reached out and pulled Kara closer, their lips meeting in a fiery, passionate kiss. Their mouths melded together, igniting a blaze that consumed them both.

Kara's hands instinctively found their way to Lena's waist, pulling her in closer, intensifying the connection between them. The world around them faded into insignificance as they lost themselves in each other.

--

As Lena drifted off to sleep, her arms wrapped tightly around Kara, she couldn't help but utter a silent wish to spend every Sunday for the rest of her life like this- with Kara.

The End

[thatonebirdwrites]

Being ill sucks. Bad news lately too. So editing this chapter took longer than usual. Worldkiller chapter will be the one after this one.

Excerpt:

Sam intercepts Ruby, Kara, and Alex in the entryway. Alex wears her black agent suit, but has a medical bag over one shoulder, her red hair cropped short around her ears. As hot as always. Kara smiles at Sam and waves. “Still okay to be here?”

She holds up one finger. “Give me a second.” She ignores the confused look on Alex’s face, but Kara whispers something that keeps Alex silent. Ruby shrugs and walks into the kitchen to peruse the fridge.

Sam drops to her knees next to the sofa and taps Rory’s shoulder. Or tries since the girl is currently hidden under two blankets with another over her curled up legs. At the third tap, Rory looks up and squints. 

‘Hi Rory, did you eat?’ Sam signs. Best check that first.

Rory tilts her head and looks at Sam, her mouth pinched. She glances over her shoulder at Kara and Alex, then ducks further under her blankets. When Sam lightly taps her shoulder again, the girl coughs into the blanket and nods. She points to the bowl. Indeed, its level is lower than ten minutes ago. 

Sam hears Alex’s whisper to Kara. “Why is Sam using sign language? I’m rusty on that.”

“We can interpret if needed,” Kara whispers back. “Just give them a moment, okay?”

‘You have two visitors.’ Sam signs. She’s grateful that Rory has learned sign language, since the signs her and Ruby devised have a tendency to randomly change. The two love playing jokes like that on Sam. 

‘Who?’ Rory’s hand trembles. 

‘Kara and her sister, Alex. Alex is a doctor and can help you feel better.’ Sam wishes she had more time to break this news to Rory. 

Rory stares at Sam’s hand, her forehead wrinkled in thought. She coughs into the blankets and rubs her nose. The way the girl nibbles her lips reminds Sam painfully of Lena’s tendency to do that same thing. ‘Will it hurt?’

The question makes Sam’s heart ache. ‘No, she won’t hurt you.’

‘Promise?’ The earnest look Rory has as she makes that sign has Sam breathing in sharply. 

How can she promise such a thing? She has no idea what the tests will entail, and yet, Rory needs medical care. She’s ill with who knows what, her energy drains as the day continues, and her fever hasn’t gone down since last night. 

Sam forces a smile, and signs, ‘I promise. I will be here with you. So will Kara. You won’t be alone.’

Rory considers those words with more lip nibbling. Sam doesn’t rush her since she knows the girl takes much longer to make decisions than Lena or Kieran or even the angry one. After several tense minutes, the girl nods, her gaze on the table still.

Sam pushes to her feet. “All right, Alex, I’ll be watching you.” She gestures to Lena. “She’s ready for you now.” 

Alex frowns. “Okay.” She pulls her bag off her back and drops it next to the sofa. Her gaze flickers between Sam and the girl, her brow creased. “Lena? I heard you weren’t feeling well. Can you give me your symptoms?”

[onevolon]

nostalgia

Kane(Annihilation) x afab!reader

summary: Kane begins to remember something. (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Fusion + soulmates)

word count: 1154

warnings: Lena didn't go to the shimmer. Eternal Sunshine's procedure exists in this universe. The quot at the beginning is from Madmen 1x13. And no proofreading has been done. Might change it a little later.

you can also read it on ao3

part2 - masterlist

“Nostalgia. It's delicate... but potent.

…in Greek, nostalgia literally means the pain from an old wound. It's a twinge in your heart…far more powerful than memory alone.

…It takes us to a place where we ache to go again.

Around and around…and back home again... to a place where we know we are loved.”

Lena must have fallen asleep while watching the TV again.

The words he hears… doesn’t sit right with him. They almost create an itch in his brain. He cannot pinpoint for the life of him. It’s been like this for a couple of days now. Glimpse of something keeps popping up but before he can reach… it’s gone. He can’t admit to himself it bothers him. Because nothing bothered him after the…

He turns of the TV and goes back to the bed.

***

He knows he is dreaming. It doesn’t happen very often but when it does…

You should not have seen this. I apologize.

Something feels familiar.

There's no such thing as this.

Doesn’t feel right but still familiar…

…And she wanted to move on. We provide that possibility.

Feels like a memory.

She was not happy.

He wakes up with a startle and heart is beating out of his chest. He doesn’t try to go back to sleep.

 ***

For the first time in weeks, he goes outside. Takes the train to a random place. He doesn’t know why. Yes, being in the house all the time is suffocating but he is not an impulsive person.

Today just feels different.

It’s freezing on the beach.

Why is he here?

He found an empty notebook couple of days ago. Hidden in a drawer. Some pages are ripped out. Did he use to journal? Feels right to write this all down. To make it make sense a bit more. Something concreate.

He is not the only one on the beach, though. There is a woman. Maybe she likes the cold.

He should go back to home. To Lena.

She is nice. Nice is good, right?

She loved me once.

***

“Hi.”

She’s talking to him. “I'm sorry?”

“I just said hi.”

“Hi.”

She’s looking intensely. When he does that, people tend to find it creepy. Or that’s what Lena said.

“Do I know you? “

Something sparks in his chest.

“I mean we are headed to the same place in this train so… Do you know the little café in down town?”

Does he? “Sure.” He says for some reason.

“Yeah! Oh, I’ve seen you there for sure.”

They both still didn’t break the eye contact.

He introduces himself. It’s only polite, Lena says.

The woman says her name too.

It’s a pretty name.

“Thank you. Not many people think so.”

Oh, he said that out loud.

“It has a nice ring to it.”

“I’m not nice though. I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.”

What? “I wouldn't think that about you.”

“Why wouldn't you think that about me?”

“I don't know. I just...” He can’t think a reasonable answer. “You seem nice…”

“Oh, God. Don't you know any other adjectives?”

He does. But right now, he can’t find any. Weird… This is all so weird…

“I don't need nice. I don't need myself to be it, and I don't need anybody else to be it at me. Okay?”

 Okay, he thinks and shuts his mouth. Seems like he only irritates her more.

“Kane? It’s Kane, right?”

“Yes.”

“Sorry I yelled at you. I’m a little out of it today.”

He nods.

“To be honest. I really like that you're nice right now. I'm glad you are.”

He can’t decide if he like the warm feeling in his chest or not.

“I have so much stuff that, I probably should…” Why did he say that?

“Oh! I'm sorry. Okay.”

“I'm writing, and...”

“Sure. No. That's okay.”

They both quite down.

“Take care, then.”

She goes away from him.

***

He sees her walking while driving. He doesn’t think before yelling out the window.

“Hey! I could give you a ride, if you need. It's cold.”

“Yeah. Okay. Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

She gets in to the car.

Rubbing her hands together “You're not a stalker or anything, right?” she says laughingly.

No, he is not. “I'm not a stalker. You're the one that talked to me. Remember?”

“That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.”

“Really? There's a stalker book?”

She nods, smirking.

“I gotta read that one.” Did he just joke?

She stifles her giggle.

“Look, I'm sorry if I came off too harsh. I'm not, really…”

“It's okay. I didn't think you were.” He though he was the problem, really.

They came to a stop in front of her apartment.

“Did you wanna have a drink? I have lots of drinks, and I could, um...”

He didn’t have alcohol since before the…

“Never mind. Sorry. That was stupid.”

He took to long to answer. Great, he thinks. She’s still babbling.

“Oh, I'm embarrassed now, I-”

“No, no.” He interferes.

She looks disappointed.

“Good night, Kane.”

***

“Here you go.” She gives me a glass.

“Thank you.”

“Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.”

He stops. Is she trying to seduce him? That’s…

“I'm just kidding! Come on.” She pushes him to the couch.

They sit in silence for a moment.

“You're kinda closed-mouthed, aren't you?”

“I’m sorry. My life isn't that interesting.” Only if she knew… “Don't know what to say.”

“Does that make you sad or anxious?” Does it? He can’t decide. “I mean, I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest, taking advantage of every possibility, making sure I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.”

He never thought about these things. They do make him anxious to think about.

“Yeah, I think about that.”

“Yeah?”

“You're really nice.”

“Ohh!”

Oh, no.

“I have to stop saying that.”

“I'm gonna marry you.”

What?

“I know it.”

“Okay.” He doesn’t mention that he’s already married.

“Oh, you should come up to that frozen river with me sometime. We’ll have a picnic.”

“That sounds scary.”

“Exactly! A night picnic. They are different.”

“Sounds good.” He sees the clock on the wall. Lena should be at home in an hour. “But I should go. Now.”

“You should stay.”

“No, I really... I'm... I...” He can’t find the words. “I have to get up so early.”

“I would like you to call me.” She takes his hand and starts to write her number. “Would you do that? I would like it.”

He doesn’t even hesitate. “Yes.”

***

He opens the door. Lena is making dinner.

He immediately goes to the phone.

“What took you so long?”

“I just walked in.”

“Mm-hmm. You miss me?”

“Yeah. Oddly enough, I do.” He admits.

“Oh! You said I do. I guess that means were married.”

He smiles a little. That’s a first. “I guess so.”

[waytooinvested]

Vengeance, Victory, and Undying Love - pt 9

Chapter 9 of my Supercorp fic in which Lena still creates something called Non Nocere to deal with her broken heart after finding out Supergirl's identity, but this time she gives the name to a different project. A more personal one. And now she’s coming for Supergirl.

This and previous chapters also available to read on Ao3

...............

The next time she saw Lena, it was an accident.

Well, sort of.

Kara had taken to night flights when she couldn’t sleep – not patrolling for trouble (though that’s what she claimed she was doing) so much as just taking the opportunity to bathe in the gentle wash of starlight. She enjoyed feeling the cool night breeze against her skin and gazing out at the quiet expanse of the city. During the day it was a seething hive of activity, but at night the pace slowed, swapping the bustle for peaceful darkness spangled with lights that glimmered beneath her toes like an infinite swarm of fire flies.

Sometimes – not too often, but sometimes – she would stay out there all night, watching over the world as the sky faded from black to navy to grey-blue, then broke into the delicate pink and orange of sunrise spreading up from the horizon.

Those nights were the best ones, and the worst, because they made the hollow in her chest ache so viciously.

Back before all this had happened, Lena had sometimes stayed over at her apartment after their movie night ran just a little too late to make the journey home feel like a good idea. The idea was to sleep of course, but more than once they had stayed awake long after the credits had rolled on the final movie, just talking and laughing, swapping stories and dreams and ideas until the dawn chorus reminded them that there was a world out there that would shortly be demanding their attention.

Somewhere along the way a secret fantasy had been born in Kara’s heart – one that involved herself and Lena, a blanket, a thermos, a basket of fresh, oven-warm pastries, and the sunrise. In it she would scoop Lena up into her arms and fly them both out over the city and away somewhere special where no one would disturb them and the only thing for miles around for her super hearing to pick up was bird song and the sound of Lena’s heart beating in time with her own.

A mountaintop perhaps, or a cliff overlooking a pure turquoise sea.

They’d settle there, huddled close together against the early morning chill under their single blanket (it was always just one blanket, though she tried not to examine too deeply why that was), and they’d watch the sun come up.

She’d actually told Lena about it once, after a particularly deep heart to heart when her walls were as far down as she was ever able to let them.

Well, not all of it of course. Not the part about taking Lena in her arms and flying them away under her own steam, or the part about the single blanket. But she had looked out of her window at the rosy clouds and said that she wished they could be watching the sunrise from somewhere beautiful, outside of the city.

Lena had smiled at her so tenderly, the soft shine in her eyes instantly making the rising sun seem brash by comparison, and said ‘but we can’.

Kara’s stomach had plummeted even as her heart leapt, thinking that Lena was picturing the same thing she was, that she knew, and was saying that it was alright, that she felt the same. In another few moments Kara might well have blown her cover and swept her up right then and there to enact the fantasy for real, but before she could Lena had shaken her head at Kara’s stunned expression and laughed.

‘I have a private jet, remember? We can go wherever you like. Tell you what, why don’t we plan a proper vacation? We can all go. I’m sure we can find somewhere with spectacular sunrises, and perhaps some good vineyards too. It’ll be fun’.

And it would have been fun, if not exactly what Kara had been hoping for. But the vacation had never happened, because before it could they were all caught up in saving the world from certain peril yet again, and that had led to everything with Lex, and Lena had found out who she was, and everything had fallen apart.

She had been thinking about this and, alright, maybe moping about it a little, when she’d caught the sound of quiet sobs from a distant balcony.

Lena’s balcony.

She knew it wasn’t her place to comfort Lena when she was sad anymore, but it was as if thinking so hard about their past time together had conjured her presence, like the fact that they were both out here at this late hour when so few people were awake meant that she was somehow supposed to go.

Besides, she couldn’t bear to listen to Lena cry and not at least try to help.

She touched down on the balcony a few feet away from where Lena sat looking small and vulnerable in nothing but her light summer pyjama shorts and tank top, an almost empty bottle of scotch by her side.

‘Lena?’

She spoke the name very softly, trying not to startle her.

Lena looked up at her, eyes a little unfocused with alcohol.

‘Kara. I should have known you’d show up’.

‘I don’t mean to pry, it’s just… I heard you crying, and I wanted to make sure you were okay’.

‘Of course you did’.

‘So… are you okay?’

It was a stupid question. Lena was as not okay as Kara had ever seen her, her eyes red and puffy with crying, her bare arms and legs pebbled with goosebumps in the chilly night air, hair mussed as if she had tossed and turned on her pillow before giving up and coming out here. She was a mess.

A beautiful mess.

Kara longed to take Lena into her arms and warm her against her own chest, to wipe away her tears, smooth back her hair and tell her that everything was going to be alright, but she had to settle for taking off her cape and draping it tentatively around Lena’s shoulders instead.

For a while Lena stayed stiff, neither shrugging off nor acknowledging the offer, but eventually her need for warmth must have won out, because to Kara’s relief the frozen fingers of the hand that wasn’t clutching a glass of scotch reached up to pull the folds of the cape more snugly around herself.

It was not quite an invitation to stay, but it was the next best thing. An unspoken acceptance of Kara’s presence on the balcony.

‘Would it be alright if I sit?’

Lena glanced at her dully and made a gesture half way between a nod and a shrug before downing the rest of her scotch and pouring herself another large measure. The bottle clanked against the glass as she tipped it clumsily, half the liquid that had been intended for the cup sloshing over her bare knee instead, but she didn’t seem to notice or care.

‘I was going to- to cure cancer you know’.

‘Were you?’

‘Yep. Or climate change. Hadn’t decided yet, but it was- it was going to be something heroic. Only now I can’t do it’.

‘Why not?’

Lena threw her a sceptical look and hiccuped.

‘Because. Because Kara, I am sitting out here on my balcony at 3am, and I’m drunk’.

Kara couldn’t help laughing at that, just a little.

‘I see that. But you won’t stay drunk. You’ll go to bed soon and sleep it off, and then you’ll be able to do whatever you like’.

‘No, no you see that’s where you’re wrong. I won’t, because I’ve already failed. I thought I succeeded, but I was fooling myself. It didn’t work. It was never going to work. And now I don’t have anything else to try. Kara’.

A pause, followed by a sudden rush of words.

‘Kara, I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want it but I don’t know how to go back. I’ve ruined everything’.

Fresh tears washed over the salty tracks of those that had come before, and Kara raised a tentative hand to touch the folds of cape above Lena’s shoulder.

She swallowed, hardly daring to breathe in case it broke the fragile thread that was spinning out between them.

‘What don’t you want Lena?’