#and it manages to be funny on purpose

[cantsayidont]

A couple of other movies:

HEATWAVE: Watchable but routine 2022 thriller about a bisexual Black woman with a checkered past (Kat Graham) who lands an exciting job with an upscale commercial real estate firm and finds a sexy white girlfriend (Merritt Patterson), only to find herself in a world of trouble after discovering that her new girlfriend is actually the trophy wife of her jealous, domineering new boss (Sebastian Roché). Making the protagonist a Black woman is novel for this genre (although it has less impact on the plot than perhaps it should), and the Graham character is a resourceful heroine, but the plot isn't quite inventive enough to make up for the all-too-familiar premise, and the story can't seem to decide what note it wants to end on, leading to a less-than-satisfying resolution. The corny voiceover that bookends the film doesn't help either.

THE HOT SPOT: GIF sets floating around Tumblr might give you the mistaken impression that this 1990 thriller, directed by Dennis Hopper and starring Don Johnson, Virginia Madsen, and Jennifer Connelly, is some kind of forgotten sexy gem. In fact, it's a curiously lifeless neo-noir about a sleazy used car salesman (Johnson) in a small Texas town who attempts to juggle an ill-advised affair with his boss's vampish wife (Madsen), who has murder on her mind, with his pursuit of the dealership's financing manager (Connelly), a nice girl who's being blackmailed by a local ne'er-do-well (William Sadler) over her past lesbian affair with a now-dead female friend. Wants to evoke DOUBLE INDEMNITY and BODY HEAT, but it trips from plot point to plot point in disjointed, illogical fashion, failing to develop any real narrative momentum, much less suspense. Despite its murders, arson, and other assorted mayhem, it's ultimately just boring, with only the periodic scenes of Madsen or Connelly mostly naked to keep the viewer awake (although the movie defies convention in not making its one bisexual character a conniving femme fatale). Don't waste your time.

THE SQUAD: Frustratingly joyless, moderately exploitative 2023 action movie, written, produced, and directed by Rick Walker, about three ruthless, bikini-clad 20something white girls (Alea Hansinger, Meghan Carrasquillo, and Grace Evans), once rescued from foster care by a benefactor called Alpha (Jennifer Ferguson), who attempt to break into the drug scene on the Oklahoma coast in the run-up to spring break and quickly run afoul of the game's established players. The leering direction is a series of music video clichés — every scene feels like it's leading up to either a montage or a dance routine that's not forthcoming — and the clumsy script does a terrible job of establishing basic plot and character details (the girls' relationship with Alpha, the most potentially interesting part of the story, is consigned to a handful of awkwardly placed flashbacks). Of the poorly defined characters, only the girls' friend JC makes any impression, and then mostly because of the physical presence of MMA star Julia Avila (who isn't given much chance to demonstrate whether or not she can act). As demonstrated by the silly but entertaining 2018 remake of SUPERFLY (by Director X and Alex Tse), it's possible to do this kind of thing in a way that at least qualifies as dumb fun, but THE SQUAD is too mean-spirited to work even on that level, and the end titles' promise of a sequel seems more like a threat than a promise.

[plazsma]

hey i work at [unspecified plastic building object] land and here are some ninjago statistics i’ve collected from actual children who watch the show in present day from the past few weeks:

“who’s your favourite ninja?”- 95% of the time it’s lloyd. any other time its jay. one time it was nya, another time it was kai. the children do not yearn for glacier.

2. there is a sculpture of nya in ninjago the ride queue that always generates a conversation. however, this sculpture is based off season 5 nya with short hair and her reddish blue gi. the most shocking thing to me… KIDS DONT RECOGNISE HER. i’ve overheard so many “who’s that?” followed by “i don’t know”s and it’s actually whiplash. why are we old

3. a lot of young girls like ninjago! this is really awesome actually because i remember being a little kid and being one of the only girls in my class at the time who liked it and it was heavily marketed as a “boys toy” so it’s nice to see that they are making ninjago for everyone . . . because it is. like everyone can enjoy these little ninja people

4. the ninjago is still IN. i actually before i started working here was worrying ninjago was falling off and the newer generations wouldn’t really care about it but u guys the children DO still yearn for ninjas and it’s very clear. which was a pleasant surprise :3 it’s truly becoming a generational thing as silly as that sounds

i can’t make these into a whole bullet point, but here is some assorted other stuff that i find funny:

kids actually just wear the ninjago pyjamas to the park like as clothes like straight up

the fang blades, jade blades and nya’s sword pack (which btw what even is that she does not use dual swords) fly off the shelves and i truly wonder why because these kids weren’t even around circa tournament of elements era. perhaps they just like throwing swords around

sometimes they dress up in ninja clothes and i always compliment their outfit and show off my keychain (luckily i had a lloyd one on me one day when a kid was dressed as him) and kids LIGHT UP when they know i know what i’m talking about. it’s one of the best parts of my day actually

tune in next time for more [unnamed colourful building toy] land stories everyone

[shreksstepfather]

A little trend I noticed: I prefer to interpret all of the three's more popular ships as completely platonic friendships instead :)

[in-fair-verona-we-set-our-scene]

I think Slay the Princess is so popular partially because the *gets stabbed* "I'm in love" reaction is both intentional on the part of the developers and then they completely follow through on it.

[clownprince]

alright i was already intrigued by the premise of knight terrors: the joker but i'm SO fucking hyped now you're telling me rosenberg is elaborating on the divorce arc??? also dark workplace comedy is exactly where i hoped they'd go with this

[torgawl]

this is absolutely killing me *bombastic side eye, criminal offensive side eye playing in the background*

[moshieee]

so when IS your birthday? :0

I know right??? math is such a fun subject!!!

Open the tags if you dare

[alissa-xyz]

"You believe in rules... Mr. Manager?"

— Oh, I do.

"And what of consequences?"

— Of course... And second chances.

"Aaah, that's where we differ, you and I."

The way he turns over--

[cursed-onepiss]

i do kind of miss how funny it was when my entire impression of doflamingo was ‘fresno nightcrawler + scariest dude i’ve ever been around at a rave’

[br1ghtestlight]

the queer subtext in just one of the boyz 4 now is incredible especially considering it came out in like 2018. feels like the sort of episode that would only work in the 90s when there wasn't as much public knowledge of queer people and it was just like haha Weird man in dress. what were they THINKING it's amazing

[gaylittleguys]

my cat really dislikes anybody who takes my attention away from her and apparently she’s able to transfer this hate onto fictional characters too lmao

[bells-of-black-sunday]

//kinda wild that peope think Tar is straight when the guy who made his model only has gay pinup on his artstation

Kinda fruity to be made by a gay pinup artist who put men in thongs and suggestive positions idk

[whoreiaki-kakyoin]

I love when people point out that your special little guy is manipulative or evil as if it’s never occurred to you because it really won’t ever stop me. “Aaravos thinks only of power, he’d only use you for personal gain!!!!!” Okay and I will personally be gaining that dick what’s not clicking!

[spacecowboycunt]

leaving little clues about what's going on in my life across all my socials so only nosy wanna be detectives can piece together what's going on

[knxfesck]

just got off the phone with my friend who I haven't talked to in a month and all we talked about was the extensive reasoning behind why more queer people are interested in ww1 and ww2 fans tend to be drawn to or participate in conservatism. Considering the possibility of mutual autism

[fingertipsmp3]

Only stressful thing about Stardew Valley is trying to pick who to romance tbh