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#and it seems even worse than it is bc im high
jester-molester · 29 days
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So, it's 4/20 and obviously Ive been stoned since i woke up, even tho I have a head cold, and can barely breathe. Luckily I'm very productive while I'm high so i still managed to discover a new kind of personal hell
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bl00dw1tch · 8 months
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the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am
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#horse.txt#vent //#sort of. too high to be sad abt it im in anthropology mode and listening to music that makes me feel sexy so its fine yk#anyway i typed a whole bunch of other tags talking abt how and why i feel this way by going through a few of the events i can remember#from my childhood that Might explain why im so emotionally guarded and struggle to open up anymore.#bc i Wanted to say they all felt dumb and juvenile esp since ive actually like#made peace with most of the ppl who were involved with them#but the Anthropology mode was just tearing it all down as i typed it bc that Is just a ridiculous way to look at it no matter how you cut it#doesn't matter that nobody involved really Meant to deal that kind of harm and i dont need to hate or blame anyone in order to acknowledge#that it still just Happened. like thats a Memory already babe no do overs.#which is kind of just accidental therapy so sick. love that fir me genuinely!#but also yes theres the bitch part of me that still wants to discredit it bc acknowledging that it happened =/= Fixing My Issues#so im still at square one technically. ive just been pacing in circles on it for a while ig#EVEN WORSE that the Scale of my issues is so incredibly mundane compared to so many of the people i seem to meet.#sitting in bed crying abt not having friends for a few days in elementary school when other ppl have jojos bizarre adventure levels of Lore#i know im not technically invalid for feeling the way i do or anything but god. if it doesn't feel fucking Embarrassing to open up about😭#its impossible NOT to feel stupid and sensitive for having these first world ass problems. And letting them hold me back#bc ppl not liking me for any reason makes me sooooooooo fucking scared So fucking scared its not even funny 😝#at least. ppl in my Circles. im pretty ok about being assertive with randos#still some work to be done on it but its better than whatevers going on with my personal relationships rn#sincerely to my mutuals and loved ones who see this i swear to GOD i love you so so so fucking much and im so. im trying to figure out this#the stuff thats got me so distant and bad at keeping in touch. its a whole slew of feelings about how i see Myself--not yall#i double pinky promise cross my heart im extremely serious#thank you for being patient with me you mean more to me than im capable of putting into words right now#alright theres a shot of tears in the hollow of my collar bone time to wrap up this post#daily reminder that i love body hair. there's some honesty.#😎😎😎💪💪💪#the Quaritch under the cut is just to make me feel better bc i love him and i think hes so pretty. hes like a security blanket
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britneyshakespeare · 4 months
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i dont know where to scream about this but i honestly feel some sort of weird relief that r//nbow high is declining. i knoooow i know it's popular and they've been such high quality dolls and collectors have loved them and some(?) people like the web series (or do they? ive heard mixed things but ive never had any interest in watching it) but oh god. i just. sometimes it takes me awhile to appreciate modern doll lines and their aesthetics but i just could not get past their weird fish faces and in general i do not like monochrome styling themes. i realize their designers did so much with their concepts, i realize a lot of heart and effort went into them, and i completely understand why so many people were floored with the quality of the dolls and the rate at which they were being put out. even though the prices kept rising for them, you could at least see where your money was going, like they were always so well-constructed and doing new things. but like. at the end of the day. on a very basic level they were just never all that aesthetically pleasing to me and it was kind of maddening to see all that potential going towards a line of dolls that had just... like... facial proportions i could not get past lol.
#i wasn't super into the way theyd ape (or 'pay homage to') modern celebrity/designer fashions#but like i get it. that's a strong brand aesthetic. it's NOT something i really care for but yeah.#i guess if you were to compare it to like. lol omg dolls and the way they do so many celebrity homages#i think lol omg elevates it a bit more. im not a HUGE fan of lol omg but im like ok i DO get it.#even tho the faces are flatter and more dead-inside i actually think that makes it more forgivable and doll-like for me.#like. r//nbow high just hits some kind of undesirable middle for me between cartoony and stylized and realistically detailed.#also not everything's about 'quality' and fabric diversity and working zippers and pockets or whatever#i mean those things ARE nice but at the end of the day i just prefer imaginative designs. things should have a mix#not saying rh didnt have those things but. oh god. i just. i just did not like the dolls in themselves#the monochrome thing again i just cant do it. i heavily dislike monochrome doll designs and unnatural colored doll hair#not that it can never be done (the wild colorful hair) but for me it's gotta be done in a very specific way#it has to stand out rather than blend in i guess? idk im not a design expert i have no reason to be so snobby about this#tales from diana#dolls#rant#i actually think whatever they've been doing w their latest line. downgrading everything in 'quality' and making them seem like#they're appealing to a younger audience before and cheapening the production... i think it makes them look less weird to me#i still dont LIKE them but like theyre not off-putting to me. like to me they look no worse#this isn't to like mock anyone who ever really was into rh bc i know that was a lot of ppl. i get it#i just felt VERY alienated by how popular they were and how much lavish praise theyd get all the time#bc overall the end product just lacked smth for me. that i felt like other doll lines had. which was... cuteness#anyway dont take any of my mean opinions too much to heart. remember that i was a na na na surprise fan#i own four of those dolls. so take everything i say w a grain of salt#(i loved them when they were still fabric-bound ngl i thought that was such a cool brand choice... it saddens me theyre hard plastic now)
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hollowfairybabybat · 12 days
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woke up took my usual 1mg of a xan n an edible im just goin 4 it 2day
#not it that some of u may think lmao but im just getting high af fuck consequences lol i do have to b able to kayak tho bc its pretty enough#to do that but i can totally do that high just prolly no videos of it this time but i got kinda good at it at the end n could slowly paddle#n film at the same time also they r drier than i thought tbh still too close to the water to make me fully comfortable like canoes r bad but#safer bc like theres a barrier between me n the water but on a kayak its like the barrier isnt there n the things in the water r so close#which ik theyre rly not usually minus tiny fish n if im being stupid n get near snake spots or a snake in general but some alligator gar n#paddle fish get so close to the shore n theyre both harmless but way too big that jusy thinking about them im startingnto get anxious n feel#sick lmaooo so uh yk anyway i have a weird fear of fish that seems to only get worse i think its from watching jaws as a toddler i hav no#no memory of that but hav been told i wouldnt get in the bath by myself for a while after soooo#either that or im just straight up scared of fish like over 9 inches n thats pushing it okay fish should not b big idk#dont even start on the ocean also ive lived in louisiana most of my life so also i have that *oh fuck alligator* in me any time i see a log#so like theres also that... n i think seeing alligators in louisiana a few weeks ago b4 coming here uh got me a lil more on edge#i rambled oops#batbaby rambles#but like fr lmao
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rockmonopoly · 3 months
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Mentally ill tonight but rlly what’s new
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spacebell · 2 years
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just got home from my early birthday celebration with my family and oh I want to cry so much
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juyeonszn · 8 months
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BAD IDEA RIGHT?
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PAIRING lee juyeon x f!reader
WORD COUNT 4.10k
GENRES … smut
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, literally porn with plot. like i’m so insane, enemies to “we fuckin” as reese put it 🥰, frat boy tbz again!!!, juyo is literally so irritating in the first half im not even gonna lie, he’s also a manwhore, making out, reader is a bit of a brat, juyeon has a dirty mouth, kinda dom!juyeon, vaginal fingering, oral (m! receiving), SHOWER SEX !12!1!, he’s hitting it from the back btw, unprotected sex, creampie, juyeon is actually… i don’t even know how to describe him writing his character made me want to claw at the walls lol
SUMMARY deep down you’re fully aware that you’re probably making a huge mistake by giving into juyeon just like every other girl on campus ever has. but paired with how intoxicating his mouth feels on your own and the steam filled bathroom clouding your head, you can’t seem to find a logical reason to stop.
MORE heheheh im back 🤭 oh my god this was actually the cause of a week full of sleepless nights. i genuinely drove myself crazy writing this bc NEED FRRRR like idk i’m so 😭 delusional. ANYWAYS. ANON. THIS ONE IS FOR U. U REQUESTED THIS AND I RAN WITH IT. u wanted more juyeon, i deliver more juyeon ;) also shout out to ally, moni, AND reese for beta’ing 🥺 i love u my cupcakes!! prompt used: 18 <3
PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble
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If there was anyone on Earth that you hated more than anything, it had to be Lee Juyeon.
To put things plainly, he was quite literally the bane of your existence. Being around him made your blood pressure skyrocket and gave you migraines that lasted for days. It was insane how one person could affect you so much by doing so little. It seemed as if he thrived off of getting under your skin.
Considering he was the captain and the pitcher of the baseball team, it wasn’t shocking. He was also a member of one of the most popular fraternities on campus. But he happened to be roommates with one of your best friends, and that made it ten times worse.
You’d known Changmin since third grade, along with Kevin and Chanhee. When he mentioned he’d be joining a fraternity in college, you were a bit apprehensive. All you knew about them was what you’d read in YA books and seen in movies. Neither gave them a good rep. Part of you wanted to talk him out of it, but you knew this was something you had to let him do, given you were adults and it was his college experience. At least you still had the other two under one roof.
The first time you met Juyeon was also the first time you attended a frat party. Changmin had just passed his initiation after waiting a year and he invited all of you to celebrate. You were excited for the most part since high school parties were more for an adrenaline rush due to the fact that your parents never let you go to them and you either snuck out or lied about going. You didn’t have to worry about the limitations of parents this go around.
The boys disappeared almost immediately upon arrival, leaving you to fend for yourself in the very crowded fraternity house. You could hardly pass through a room without bumping into somebody’s shoulder or elbow, huffing as you maneuver around the house equivalent to a sardine can. Your drink nearly spilled onto your top multiple times and you were glad you decided against the heels for the night.
You chugged the rest of the jungle juice in your cup as you stepped onto the patio, where it’s just as noisy and just as packed. You’re lucky enough to find an empty lounge chair near the house’s pool, unoccupied and calling your name. When your legs touch the plastic chair, you flinch at how hot it is, most likely from being in the sun all day.
“Woah, do you want a cushion?”
You look up at the source of the voice. You’ve seen him around campus before, and even at Changmin’s games. Lee Juyeon was just one of those people that you had to know, unless you’d been living under a rock. Just like everyone else in the world, you couldn’t deny how attractive he was. From this distance, you truly understood why girls would giggle like high schoolers over the guy.
“Uh, sure. Yeah, that would be great actually.” You nod, watching as he wanders towards the shed in the corner of the big ass backyard. He returns promptly, holding his red solo cup between his teeth and one hand on your lower back guiding you to a standing position so he could place down the cushion.
“As a thank you, can I get your name?” He gives you a cocky little smile that should’ve been a warning. And looking back on it, you should’ve seen his true personality sooner, to be completely honest. The way his lips curled at the corners, like a conniving bastard who got off on irritating others.
“It’s Y/N,” you say, messing with your empty cup. “I’d ask for yours, but I kinda already know.”
He laughs at that, scratching the back of his neck. “That’s not surprising.” It’s at this point that you’re starting to see through his sweet facade, but despite knowing better— despite always keeping your guard up— you let yourself fall for it just this once. All because you didn’t want to fuck things up for Changmin. He owed you big time.
“Well, you are a talented athlete.” You didn’t want to fuel what is probably already a massive ego, but you’d rather compliment his baseball skills than the fact that he was infamous for screwing around with half of the girls on campus. Technically, that was a feat of its own since he’d only been in school for a year.
“Oh, so you think I’m talented?” He rested a hand on your chair, leaning down to your level. Confidence oozed from every corner of his being and if you weren’t so self aware, perhaps you could’ve ended up like all those other victims of his charismatic behavior.
“I go to the games for Changmin,” you scoff, glancing away from his face to stop the heat rising up your neck. “I’ve only paid attention to you once or twice.”
“Yeah, sure. Let's go with that,” he bites his lip, blatantly checking you out. “I wouldn’t mind paying attention to you a little.”
“I’m unimpressed, Juyeon,” you snort, raising an eyebrow at him. “Does this shit really work on everyone?”
“I can drop the act if you want, baby. Just let me know when you’re ready to stop playing hard to get.” He stands upright, running a hand through his hair.
Every time you ran into Lee Juyeon after that, he was more and more insufferable. He knew his influence on you, too, if his smug fucking grin was anything to go by. You wish you could just slap it off of him. However, you stood by being the bigger person in any given situation, so that was off the table. (And half of you still felt a moral obligation to not get your friend into hot water.)
“Would it kill you to play nice every once in a while? I do live with the dude, you know.” Changmin whines, trailing you in the supermarket like a lost puppy.
“He’s got a point, N/N,” Kevin adds, humming as he tosses a boxed dinner into the cart. “I get that he’s a little bit of an overconfident douche, but rolling your eyes at him when he hasn’t even done anything just makes it worse on you. And JiChang, too, I guess.”
“Bro…”
You weren’t even sure why he decided to tag along with you and the other boys when you mentioned grocery shopping. In fact, he might as well have stayed his ass home if he was just going to gang up on you the whole time. Chanhee sighs dramatically, bringing your shopping cart to a halt.
“Can we not have a peaceful grocery trip? Is that impossible or something?” His lips form a thin line. “I swear, all we do is talk about how much Y/N hates Lee Juyeon. Can we please move on?”
“Thank you, Chanhee, I agree,” you nod along, walking backwards as you do so and ignoring the faces your friends make. “He makes me want to kill myself.”
“Who makes you want to kill yourself?”
You jump up, frightened by the sudden voice in your ear. Your friends all give you sheepish smiles, as if they’d already tried to warn you. (What shitty jobs they did.) With a hand over your heart, you turn around to meet— speak of the devil— none other than Lee Juyeon himself.
“What are you doing here?” Your eyes narrow and your arms cross over your chest. Luck could never be on your side when it came to this guy.
“Uh, last I checked, this was a public supermarket. Where I can publicly shop. I wasn’t aware that I had to run that by you. So sorry, sweetheart.” He pouts, his expression so theatrical you nearly give in to your constant urge to punch him in the face.
You feel your eye twitch, and it takes everything in you to step back and assess just how bad it would be if you committed murder right now. Changmin comes to your rescue, doing damage control as best as he can while Kevin attempts to talk you out of becoming a criminal.
The two frat brothers do their little fraternity handshake thing and then finally he’s out of sight, out of mind, allowing you to visibly relax. Chanhee purses his lips. “Okay, so maybe I do see where the anger comes from. And holy shit, Y/N, you have the patience of a saint.”
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“The person you have called is unavailable! At the tone, please leave a message. When you have finished recording, you may—”
“Goddammit.” You curse, ending the unsuccessful call.
The downside of working far from campus, was working far from campus. You didn’t have your own car and usually relied on one of your roommates for a ride to and from. But now here you are, stranded at work while it’s pouring cats and dogs outside. Kevin was in class and Chanhee wasn’t picking up his phone. You could call Changmin, but you’re pretty sure he also had a class around this time.
Just as you’re about to succumb to your demise, you receive a text from Chanhee.
[2:57 pm] michael jackson: IM SO SORRY AJNSSJNW BUT SOMETHING CAME UP WITH A GROUP PROJECT
[2:57 pm] michael jackson: DONT WORRY THOUGH, IVE GOT IT COVERED UR STILL GETTING PICKED UP
“Could today get any worse?” You mutter to yourself, locking your phone and tossing it into your purse. As if your timing couldn’t be better, you spoke entirely too soon. Your eyes squint at the unfamiliar car rolling up under the carport. Your brows furrowed in confusion, because you had no idea who could be your saving grace. Chanhee was a wild card so who knew who he had on speed dial.
But then the passenger window rolls down and you wish the ground would just swallow you whole. Lee Juyeon grins that stupid fucking grin of his, beckoning you to his car as it unlocks when he shifts into park. You shake your head.
“No way. There is absolutely no way I am getting into that car.” You shout over the pelting rain.
Juyeon tsks, his eyes rolling when he reaches over the center console to open the door for you. “Is there anyone else who would drop everything they’re doing to pick you up in this weather?”
Your lips pull into a flat line. The answer was no, you didn’t have anyone else who would drop everything they were doing to pick you up in this weather. That was the reason Juyeon was here, you supposed. It didn’t mean you weren’t at least going down without a fight, though. Except, Lee Juyeon was a man who was all too comfortable with how expressive you were. Most notably towards him.
“What? Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?”
“Fuck you. I’d rather walk.” You seethe, starting straight in the direction of your apartment. Juyeon groans at first, your constant need to prove yourself getting on his nerves for once. Then his eyes widen slightly when he realizes you’re not joking.
The truth was that the rain was freezing and you’d love to be in the shelter of a warm car. In fact, you didn’t really care that Juyeon was the person driving. But you were too deep into the bit now. You couldn’t just turn around and get in the car, for you had a pride to protect at this point.
“Shit.” Juyeon swears under his breath, reaching into the backseat to grab an umbrella. Sure he loved to tease you and rile you up, but he wasn’t cruel. Your friends would have his head on a silver platter if he let anything happen to you.
You pause in your steps when you’re no longer being showered in rain water. Juyeon holds the umbrella over your head with a worried expression. You feel kind of bad for making him chase after you even though he’d already gone out of his way to pick you up. Sometimes you wish your ego wasn’t so fragile. Maybe then you could accept help when you needed it instead of making things worse.
“Can you please stop being so stubborn and just get in the damn car, Y/N? Do you have to make everything difficult all the time?” Usually, pissing you off made him over the moon, but you can tell he’s not exactly pleased at the moment. You swallow thickly, nodding quietly and following him back to his car.
The whole drive to your apartment is silent save for the song playing on his speakers. It’s not as loud in comparison to the storm outside, but you’re grateful that it’s filling the space between you. If only Lee Juyeon hadn’t done such an excellent job ticking you off like a bomb, then maybe you would’ve just hopped in the passenger seat with ease. But no, he had to goad you until you made an irrational decision and now here you are.
As he pulls up to your building, you say a little prayer that you don’t regret your next actions. He stops as close to the stairs as he can, but you turn to him before unbuckling your seatbelt. With a deep breath, you ask, “Would you like to— uh— come inside?”
He glances from you to the stairs and then shrugs, parking in the nearest empty spot. He holds the umbrella over both of you as you make your way to your unit, lightly sprinting so you don’t get anymore soaked than you already are. You figured the least you could do was invite the dude into your home and offer him some hot tea, just so he could warm up before heading back to the TBZ house. Your roommates not being here to make fun of you was also a plus.
There’s still an unspoken tension even after you’ve shed your raincoats and shoes by the front door, settling into your apartment and its coziness. Juyeon sits at the breakfast bar as you busy yourself with preparing the kettle and getting a couple tea bags. His watchful gaze is a little intimidating now that you’ve seen his serious side.
Once you’ve finished making the tea, you set his mug in front of him. You look everywhere but him when you say, “I’m gonna take a shower if you’re okay waiting out here by yourself.” He doesn’t respond verbally, so you take it as your cue to leave.
You turn on the water to let it heat up before gathering your essentials. When you’ve completed your back and forth trip from the bathroom and your bedroom, you’re finally ready to just relax in your shower and forget about today’s events. But how could you ever truly relax with Lee Juyeon in your space, permeating your peace?
As you’re shutting the bathroom door, a foot jams itself between the threshold and stops you. You glance up from the floor to meet Juyeon’s eyes. They’re darker than you’re used to, a deep shade of brown that has your stomach twisting into knots.
“You know, Y/N, this game of cat and mouse is starting to get old,” he takes a step into the steaming room, locking the door behind him and trapping you. “Just admit to yourself that you want me.”
You sputter at his bold words, because you don’t. You don’t want Lee Juyeon. Why would you want Lee Juyeon? “I’m not gonna lie to myself. I don’t want you.”
He laughs humorlessly, closing the gap between you just a little more. You don’t have it in you to back away from him. He reaches a hand up to tuck some damp hair behind your ear. You’re still wet and cold from your stupid idea to walk in the rain, but Juyeon plans to warm you up perfectly. “You sure?”
“Positive,” you breathe.
“Why don’t we test that theory?” Now he’s got you backed into the wall, his face a hair’s breadth distance from your own. “I have a feeling I can change your mind.”
You don’t know if it’s the heat of the bathroom or Juyeon’s lips being so close, but so far simultaneously that has your brain turning into static. Your head feels fuzzy, like you’re watching TV on an empty channel through a blurry lens. You lick your lips, vision trained on his. “Why don’t we?”
That’s all the confirmation he needs to press your mouths together in a searing kiss, hotter than the temperature of the room. You feel him smile against you when you make no move to push him away, instead carding your fingers through his hair. He groans when you tug a bit, twirling the longer strands around your index.
His hands slip under your top, thumbs rubbing circles into your waist. This is a terrible idea. Deep down you’re fully aware that you’re probably making a huge mistake by giving into Juyeon just like every other girl on campus ever has. But paired with how intoxicating his mouth feels on your own and the steam filled bathroom clouding your head, you can’t seem to find a logical reason to stop.
When you part for air, you both start stripping your top layers, resuming your attacks on each other’s lips once you’re left in nothing but undergarments. Juyeon trails kisses along the side of your neck, nipping and sucking wherever he feels fit. You gasp when he finds that particular spot that contributes to the butterflies fluttering about your stomach. “God, you’re so annoying.”
“Yeah?” And despite getting ready to give you the pleasure of your life, his grin against your skin still manages to irritate you. “You hate me so much, huh?”
“Mhm,” you whine as his fingers dip beneath the band of your panties, toying with your sensitive cunt. “Hate you so bad— ah…”
“You might wanna shut up soon, sweetheart,” Juyeon warns, sliding his ring finger between your lower lips. “Or else I’ll give that mouth something to do.”
“I’ll do whatever I want,” you pull his hand from your underwear, kneeling in front of him when he furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Your nails scrape lightly down his abdomen before hooking into the waistband of his briefs, freeing him from the material. It takes a lot out of you to not visibly react at the sight of his cock, hard and flushed to the tip. You couldn’t dare inflate his ginormous ego, the situation you were currently in already doing enough on its own. His size is impressive too, making you wonder just how he expects you to take him like a champ.
“What a fucking brat,” he hisses, your tongue swiping along the underside of his dick. “Always gotta have the last word, don’t you?”
“Mmmm,” you moan, mouth full with just the tip. You’d never been the type of person who cared about size. As long as they knew what they were doing and made you finish, you held no qualms with their length. In fact, you don’t think you ever even paid much attention to anyone’s dick in your life. But if there was anything to back Lee Juyeon’s cockiness, it had to be, well, his cock.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this moment,” he confesses, wrapping your hair around his hand into a makeshift ponytail. “But, fuck, this is so much better.”
The admission shoots straight to your core and you find yourself whimpering, the vibrations against his dick driving him crazy. He has to support his weight with one hand flat to the wall, the other still tightly fisting your hair. With every suck and flick of your tongue, he tugs a little more, the sting on your scalp providing you with more pleasure than pain. You pull off of him to take a breath, jerking him off as you do so.
“Am I meeting your expectations?” You bat your eyelashes up at him, drool sliding down your chin and makeup smeared under your eyes in tear streaks. He groans at the sight of you, forcing you to a standing position so he could kiss you again.
You start dragging him towards the shower, unhooking your bra and stepping out of your panties. He raises an eyebrow at you, amused. “You want me to fuck you in the shower, baby? Have you slipping all over my cock?”
“Duh,” you can’t help but roll your eyes at his question, practically pawing at his underwear to get him out of them fully. “Did you think I sucked your dick on the bathroom floor for fun?”
“That mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble one of these days.”
He kicks them off, reconnecting your lips as you step into the shower. The hot water hits your back almost like a massage, synchronously getting in your mouth as you make out with Juyeon aggressively. It’s like he can’t get enough of you, big hands kneading and groping everywhere and nowhere all at once. You feel insane, especially with how good of a kisser he is. It’s like you’re on cloud nine and nothing’s capable of bringing you down.
When he’s finally lost his patience, he spins you around, pressing you cheek first to the shower wall. You feel him against your lower back, his lips leveling with your ear. In spite of acting as if he had himself under control, you can hear the pant in his breathing, deep voice a little desperate than usual. He has a hand gripping your thigh and picking up your leg.
“No protection?” He asks, his cock already gliding between your folds in anticipation.
“Mm-mm,” you shake your head as best you can with his body sandwiching you to the tiled surface. “Wanna feel you raw.”
“Fuck, you can’t say shit like that to me,” Juyeon groans into your ear, giving no warning as he spits down your front and hikes your leg higher, thrusting into your cunt. “You’ll make me wanna stay buried in you forever.”
You moan, hand coming up to hold the side of his head as he fucks you into the shower wall. If someone were to ask about this very moment, you weren’t too sure how you’d defend yourself. A moment of weakness, perhaps? But if a moment of weakness felt this fucking good every time, you might fall into a habit of judgment lapses.
He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, nibbling and biting your shoulder and the surrounding area with each snap of his hips. The angle he drives into you at has stars forming at the back of your vision, the tip of his cock brushing that one spot deep inside of you whenever he thrusts up. You don’t even think his entire dick is in you as he does this, but you also don’t really have the mind to care, way too focused on memorizing the veins of his shaft with your walls.
You’re far too gone to consider the consequences of your actions, the horizon of your release just beyond your fingertips now. You’d never needed someone so viscerally before, so carnally. Yet here you were, sucking Lee Juyeon’s cock in with your pussy like you were a damn vacuum. The sounds you’re making bounce back and forth on the walls, no doubt louder than the shower water itself.
“I— I-I’m so— fuck,” you mewl, words wobbling. “I’m so, so close, Juyo.”
“Yeah, baby?” He sighs in your ear, nudging your sensitive clit with his thumb while raising your leg as much as he physically can. “Me too, where do you want me?”
“Inside,” you don’t think you even make sense anymore, babbling as he continues to fuck you stupid. “Please. Want you to cum inside me.”
Juyeon grits his teeth, pleased with himself that he didn’t orgasm right then and there. He uses his last ounce of strength to get the two of you off together. “C’mon, sweetheart, cum for me.”
The fogginess subsides pretty quickly after you’ve finished, your brain registering what just happened almost instantaneously. If you weren’t so hypersensitive, you would’ve pulled him out yourself and scrambled to flee the scene. (And maybe even the country.) There are many more rational thoughts running through your head now. The entire trajectory of your life has just been changed, whether you realized it or not. But the biggest issue was:
What the hell do you do now?
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© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
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hanggarae · 5 months
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GROWL - ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO ME TOO ?
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↺ content your ceo has made a point of making your life a living hell and you aren’t sure how long you can keep up with it, part 2 of my ‘promotion’ series, ceo!jeonghan, f!office worker!reader, jeonghan’s such an asshole in this part even worse than in part one, jeonghan is so dumb and clueless, bffs bss, this is honestly hardly a tear jerker so idk if it’s technically angst but ig ?? idk 😞
↺ a/n : 3.5k words, npr, another enemies to lovers jeonghan, loosely based off of lyrics from growl by exo but also lowk not ?? im trying to finish this series as quick as i can bc i know that when i start studying ill go back to the irregular posting schedule and this will never see the light outside my drafts (like the chan thoughts part which i had ready for months but never got around to posting)
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‘He’d get bored of trying to get a rise out of you in a month or less so all you had to do was put up with him until then’
Life was a bitch, a petty bitch- and so was Jeonghan.
It’d been four months since you became his assistant, or as you like to call it: four months of hell. He didn’t go easy on you one bit and constantly belittled you.
Ever since you left that night without him knowing he made it his personal goal to continue punishing you for it by constantly gave you tasks were no less than humiliating. You underestimated just how petty a grown man could be. Despite him clearly finding this job boring, he stayed due to the laugh he got out of making you suffer. What’s worse is you couldn’t deny the fact that he was too pretty for his own good.
“Here is your schedule for the day, sir” you forced a smile on your face, handing your boss his coffee brewed exactly how he enjoys it (you learnt that the hard way when Jeonghan once took the cup out of your hands and poured it all over your desk and paperwork, ridiculing you for ‘not being useful enough to even make a decent coffee’).
Jeonghan simply stared at you, bringing the cup to his lips and taking an obnoxiously loud sip. “Reschedule the meeting with Hong, I don’t want to have it today” he mumbled, bored of the day already.
You tried your best to compose yourself and not throw that coffee in his face while you scream about how he’s an incompetent brat that needs to actually get some work done. But you couldn’t do that so you settled with the satisfaction of imagining the scene in your head.
“Unfortunately sir, that isn’t possible. You’ve already rescheduled three times, and Joshua’s been-”
Jeonghan seemed to perk up at that, “oh the meetings with Shua? Why didn’t you say that silly? you can bring him in right now”
“I’ve told you it’s with him four times but alright-”
“No back talk or I’ll demote you to coffee maker”
You bit back the words on the tip of your tongue and instead started to walk over to the reception where Joshua was waiting.
You remember Joshua. He was still Jeonghan’s friend even back in high school, although he never picked on you like Jeonghan did. From what you remember, Joshua wasn’t really interested in proving himself when it came to academics.
“Mr Yoon will see you now” you told him politely, holding the door open for him to follow you.
“About time” he laughed with no real offence, “he really took his time, huh?”
You simply returned his laugh and agreed with him wordlessly, leading him to Jeonghan’s office. The man in question gave his longtime friend a loud greeting.
“Shua I had no idea the meeting was with you” the long haired man scoffed, “my assistant over here told me it was with your uncle”
“If that’s what you thought I don’t blame you for postponing it as much as you did” Joshua laughed easily, dispersing your anger toward your boss.
The two continued to talk for another hour or so while you drowned out the noise and focused on the task Jeonghan had given you. Times like these really tempted you to quit because what sort of maniac gives you one day to finish organising a dinner with some business partners.
When Joshua was ready to leave you followed him out and waved him goodbye before mentally preparing yourself for your boss giving you his very much unwanted undivided attention.
“y/n, you don’t have anything planned for next week do you?” your boss stated more than asked while looking through his own planner. “Any personal plans outside of work?”
His attitude irked you so much.
“Well I have a dinner with my friends for-”
“Cancel it.” Jeonghan stated plainly.
You blinked a few times, laughing awkwardly. There’s no way he was being serious right?
“I’m sorry sir?”
“You heard me. Cancel it” he approached you even closer. “And pack your bags, we’re going on a business trip tomorrow night”
Your mouth opened, anger painting your features but Jeonghan left before you could argue.
This wasn’t fair. Next week was your birthday, your friends insisted on planning a dinner for you and you were honestly really looking forward to it. Knowing Jeonghan though that didn’t mean anything to him, he’d probably laugh at you for even thinking that gave you an excuse.
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Luckily, you might still make it in time for your birthday dinner. Jeonghan explained the details of the trip to you and your plane was on Thursday night, meaning you’d get back on Friday at around 6am. The dinner was planned for Friday night so if you could power through the jet lag and sleep deprivation you’d enjoy that dinner with your friends.
If you were being honest you weren’t entirely sure what you were doing on this trip. Other than ordering his room service there really wasn’t any use in your being there. Eventually you came to the conclusion that Jeonghan dragged you along in favour of just making you suffer.
For some odd reason though, Jeonghan liked to drag you along to whatever parties and dinner his aristocratic friend group enjoyed throwing.
And although it was a pretty sight, you could only really just feel out of place being there.
Like tonight, the venue was absolutely gorgeous but you didn’t belong here. Not with people that had six digits in their savings from the moments they learnt to talk.
To your surprise however, Jeonghan was uncharacteristically tame. After the way he’s treated you the last few months it was safe to assume that he would go out of his way to embarrass you any chance he got at these dinners but he was surprisingly helping you adjust well.
Tonight was your last night in Paris and the two of you were attending a dinner hosted by his associate. Wonwoo was nice, he was down to earth despite probably having more money than everyone in your branch combined.
What wasn’t nice was the way Jeonghan was stalling getting out of here. Did he want you guys to miss the plane?
“We need to head to the airport now if we’re planning on catching that plane?” You urged, trying to reason with your boss while everyone around you was distracted.
“Wouldn’t that be rude of us?” Jeonghan scoffed before smirking, “did nobody ever teach you any manners, y/n?”
No matter how much you urged Jeonghan, he wouldn’t budge. You thought it was pretty much useless at this point, debating on whether or not you should text your friends to reschedule the dinner or just let them enjoy it without you.
As you watched the flight updates on your phone and saw the signal that your flight had already left, you felt tears well up in your eyes. You were so tired of this. How many tears were you going to lose on this? On him? He didn’t even matter to you.
And you weren’t sure why you mattered to him. Just because he’s too petty to forget about something that happened in high school?
The entire drive back to the hotel, you kept refreshing the tab to see if there were any other flights but it was no use. The only ones available would make you arrive too late for the dinner so there was no way you were making it on time.
It seemed silly, being this upset about a dinner. But you hadn’t gotten the chance to properly celebrate your birthday, or anything really, in years and it felt nice for your friends to plan an entire night just dedicated to you. And you probably felt worse about all of their efforts going to waste.
When you made it back to the hotel you didn’t say a word to Jeonghan. You didn’t curse at him, you didn’t scream at him, you didn’t defend yourself from his comments.
You just.. headed back to your room and texted your friends that you were sorry.
You stayed in your room for another twenty minutes, thinking about what Jeonghan’s motive was. There was no way you could continue working with him.
A notification on your phone drew your attention. An email from some cosmetics brand wishing you a happy birthday and giving you a coupon code to celebrate.
It was only then that you realised it was now just a few minutes after midnight meaning it was officially your birthday.
Even though you should be happy, only more tears fell.
You don’t know how long you just sat on the bed, wallowing in your own self pity before somebody knocked at the door.
You quickly dried your tears before pulling it open, gasping at the sight in front of it.
Jeonghan stood there, a huge smile on his face, holding a cake that read ‘Happy birthday’ in green frosting. You hated green.
“Happy birthday y/n” he greeted loudly. There was something so sick and twisted about this. Maybe even sadistic.
Before you knew it you were tearing up again. Was this some sort of sick joke? He ruins the only plans you’ve had, the only time you’ve asked something of him these past months as his assistant, the only time you asked him to cut you some slack and he’s.. standing there smiling with a cake that has frosting of a color you hate.
“Sir, when we get back tomorrow- or whenever we do, you need to find a new assistant because I can no longer do this” you told him plainly, too tired of the way he’s treated you.
You ignored the way his face fell and eyes widened, “If I can’t return to my old position then I’d like to be transferred to a different branch. And if that’s also not possible then I resign from the company”
You didn’t wait for his answer, you didn’t wait for him to laugh and call you pathetic for quitting halfway through, you just closed the door and went to bed.
Jeonghan didn’t fly on the same flight as you, probably staying in Paris for an extra few days but you honestly weren’t sure. And you honestly didn’t care.
Despite saying you’d try staying at the company, you realised you wouldn’t be able to without feeling uncomfortable. And Jeonghan was in a position where he could still make your life hell so you simply resigned altogether.
You were a valued employee and were smart in keeping connections with big companies you’ve worked with on projects in the past, and even the few you met in your week in Paris. So you really weren’t worried about finding a new job, maybe it’d even be better than your last one.
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It’d been three months since you quit working at the Yoon company and although it was nothing special at your new job it beat having an asshole boss setting you up for failure everyday.
It’d honestly be a lie to say you haven’t thought about Jeonghan since quitting. Partially because you now worked under Choi Seungcheol, who you learnt was one of Jeonghan’s best friends. Meaning you’d sometimes run into him but you never spared him a second glance.
Ever since you got the new job you decided to do some things that you’ve been meaning to but never got around to- one of them being to get a new apartment.
You’ve been living in your current one since just after you graduated college and you could definitely afford to now upgrade it. The place you’ve been looking at was in a far better neighbourhood and building.
You decided to pull the trigger on it sooner rather than later, knowing that the longer you put it off the more likely you were to just discard the idea in the end.
You hated making second trips to carry luggage, so you decided to carry all of your moving boxes in one go, despite the fact that all of them piled in your arms blocked practically your entire line of vision.
Just as you were getting off the elevator you heard the person getting on chuckle lightly at the sight in front of them.
“You need any help with that?” The voice sounded oddly familiar you thought as he started to grab most of the boxes from your arms before you could protest.
Oh is he serious?
You looked unimpressed at the man in front of you, “Give me my boxes back.”
“What-” he hadn’t noticed you until you said that. Glaring at him, clearly unhappy with seeing him again.
Jeonghan simply scoffed, not giving you the boxes back and only asking you what number he needed to take them to.
“You can take them back to my arms” you bickered despite leading him to your apartment anyway.
“Don’t think Cheol’s gonna like how you can’t type for two weeks because you broke your arms while moving” he argued back, doing a double take when he saw the number outside of your door. Giggling when he realised.
Before you could ask him what was going on he giggled, “And, it wouldn’t make me a very good neighbour, would it?”
He smiled before using his own keys to open the door of the apartment right across from yours. This cannot be real.
“You live here?” You whined, not caring if it made you look childish in front of him anymore.
“Mhm” he hummed coming back to you to help you get all the boxes inside, “Let me know if you need help with anything else, neighbour”
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“So he lives literally down the hall?” Soonyoung asked you, taken aback. “Small world”
“I’m still convinced he had something to do with it” you grasped your soda can tighter, the metal denting under the pressure.
“You think he’ll be there right now?” Seokmin asked, taking another handful of popcorn.
“Why? Do you want him to give us some michelin star food or something?” Seungkwan asked, continuing to look through the selection of movies for you guys to watch.
“If he does don’t eat it! He probably poisoned it or something” you muttered bitterly.
It was just your luck for the person you despised most to just happen to now live three steps away from you.
It’d only been a week since you moved here but you’d already ran into him five times. Five times too many in your opinion. You were ready to complain about him all over again until the doorbell rang.
“What do you want?” You said crossing your arms over your chest.
“Well it seemed like such a fun party over here. How could I miss out, am I right?” You realised really was the most arrogant man you’ve ever met when he invited himself in and made himself comfortable on your couch. “What’re we watching?”
You also realised your friends were not loyal. Despite cursing him out with you for the last few months they were too quick to become friends with him- even if it was because of the alcohol you really did not care.
It was approaching 3am and you couldn’t sleep, the guys all getting too drunk and crashing on your couch in the other room.
After tossing and turning a few more times you crawled out of your bed and into the building’s hallway, careful to tread lightly to not wake anyone up even Jeonghan.
Ever since your landlord gave you the keys to your apartment and access to the building’s rooftop you think you’ve been here everyday since.
The cool breeze always hit you just perfectly, momentarily letting you forget about everything in the world.
It really wasn’t fair. How Jeonghan treated you. You laugh to yourself when you realise you hold the same thoughts as your high school self, upset that her crush all of a sudden started to insult her for being top of the class.
You’d like to say that you don’t care about what Jeonghan thinks about you, but you know you’d be lying to yourself. That inner teenager of yours that still wants Jeonghan to like her back.
You don’t think you like Jeonghan anymore- but you also don’t think you hate him. And when you realise you don’t hate him after the way he’s treated you, you think you must like him at least a little to forget about that.
“Stop biting your nails” a voice from beside you says.
You don’t recognise it at first and instantly lunge at whatever it is, thinking it was a crazed psycho killer or something.
“Okay I get I wasn’t a saint to you but you didn’t have to hit me in the face y/n what the fuck?” The man groaned.
“Well maybe you should stop sneaking up on me Yoon” you forced out despite feeling a little guilty.
“Well I wouldn’t have to sneak up on you if you acted like a normal person and didn’t leave your apartment at 3am!” He scoffed, flicking your forehead with his finger lightly.
You glared at him before turning back to look at the view over the city.
“We’re not friends, I’d appreciate if you stopped acting like we were”
“We’re not friends? And here I was buying us matching cups” fake pouted, the same way he would when you worked for him and complained about the workload.
The more you remembered how it was like having Yoon Jeonghan as your boss the less you wanted to even be near him.
“You’re not funny, Yoon” you mumbled. Not like he cared.
“You’re not my employee anymore, y/n. I don’t care if you call me by my name now” Jeonghan looked at you.
You think you got even angrier when you looked back at him. Pretty privilege was real and Yoon Jeonghan probably benefited from it the most. Even at 3am and drinking for hours he’s still beautiful enough for you to forget how awful of a person he is.
“Even so, I’m nobody compared to you and I’m nobody to you,” you laughed bitterly, “So I’d prefer to not call you by your first name. Just like you requested”
“You really hold a grudge, don't you?”
“Fuck you Jeonghan” you looked at him baffled, ��I hold a grudge? You tormented me for months because of some stupid thing that happened in high school that wasn’t even my fault”
“And even now you’re-” you sputtered, “you’re still trying to blame me. I didn’t do anything to you Jeonghan! You’re the asshole that did everything to me!”
You expected Jeonghan to get mad at your rant and say something back, instead he just stared at, ghost of a smile on his lips and some unreadable glint in his eyes. “You said my name”
You rolled your eyes, scoffing. He really could not take anything serious. “What is wrong with you?”
“I’ve been asking myself that too” he got closer to you, “you know ever since you left I’ve strangely been really sad in the office. Moping around looking for something- or someone”
“After a while I realised that was you. I missed you, y/n. And then I realised I like-”
“This has to be the worst confession I have ever heard of, Jeonghan” you looked at him surprised at how he could even begin to think this was what a good confession sounded like. “If anything this just makes me think you’re a sadist who enjoys making the girl they like cry everyday in the office bathrooms”
“Cut me some slack, I only worked this out two weeks ago” Jeonghan whined, and you really had to question if he genuinely believed this would get you to forget the way he acted. “I’ve seen the damn Notebook, we’re supposed to start kissing in the rain now”
“After the hell you put me through Jeonghan, I deserve a lot more than whatever you just threw together” you said before starting to walk away.
“Wait!” Jeonghan quickly grabbed ahold of your wrist before you could leave. “What do I have to do to get you to.. you know, look I’m not good at this!”
“Well for starters I think you should look up the definition of what liking someone is and how people usually act when they do like someone. When you work out how to love them right then let me know”
“Wait but before I start to show you that I can be a good person and an even better boyfriend, can you at least let me know it’s not completely useless. Like you’re not just going to reject me in the end to get back at me” Jeonghan looked at you desperately.
“I’ll see you around” you said before leaving, retreating to your apartment for the night. But Jeonghan could see the ghost of a smile on your lips.
Jeonghan was an idiot, he thought to himself, but he had a chance. He had to work this out somehow- and quick. You were a pretty girl, probably the prettiest girl Jeonghan had ever seen, you definitely had other guys interested and if he wasn’t quick he’d end up losing you to them.
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ganondoodle · 17 days
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"bc i find it weird and uncomfortable how nintendo treats and comments on Riju and the gerudo as a whole"
Could you elaborate on this? Outside of men perving on the Gerudo (which is honestly just representative of real life scenarios) I can't think of anything problematic in regards to how they or Riju are treated. (Her being put into power at such a young age is questionable but that's just one of the downfalls of hereditary ruling I think.)
This is genuine, I'm not trying to be sarcastic or obtuse or anything! I never noticed anything overtly concerning so I just was curious what you were referring to. (Sorry I'm sure there's a post or something I missed where you were talking about it.)
so, this ask comes off as a little weird since the Gerudo are very overtly orientalist/racist stereotypes and you can just .. .research it instead but, given that i recently got an ask from someone saying they were 14 i will answer it bc i know sometimes you think first about asking someone about something instead of looking it up yourself
so, mind you, i am not a person of color, and the issues are a giant can of worms i cannot possibly go into every detail of nor know every detail of
the Gerudo, both in older games and new ones (botw/totk) are basically a bunch of stereotypes about black and arab people rolled into one, they are based on a mish mash of middle eatern cultures together with popular stereotypes about them
they wear stupidly impractical sexy clothing for people living in the desert, its very skin exposing (something that is the opposite of what you do living in an environment like that) and based on the wrong but popular idea of the 'belly dancer' outfit- an outfit that isnt sexual but was popularized as something akin to a strippers outfit by western people (colonizers im pretty sure .. who else) and is STILL used as that, they also wear high heels ... in the desert ......... a sand desert .... and wear heavy make up (like hylian women dont)
even worse then that the EXACT SAME outfit is used for the children as well, they too are put into heels, heavy makeup, and that 'belly dancer' outfit which is very VERY uncomfortable if you know what that oufit is largely seen as .. (even if youd try to argue that Riju wears it to seem more like a competent leader, it falls flat bc the children wear the same damn weird outfit as everyone else)
the Gerudo are also all very muscular in a way that no other women is in the game, which plays into the stereotype of black women being more masculine/mannish than uwu frail little white women and thus, among more, less women, or being able to feel less pain (yes that is an actual belief wtf??), while at the same time still sexualized
now in OOT they were thiefing evil women (thief being yet another stereotype for arabs as well as evil) whos only 'good' one both rejecting some of their tradition (kinda playing into the idea of those tradtions being wrong and adhering to the "good" traditions of western people is what makes you good) and is also abused throughout the game; in botw/totk they are not eviiiil but live in a closed to all men city and their entire society revolves around finding a hylian man to marry, their only goal in life is basically to find a man and have a family which i HOPE i dont have to explain why that is problematic (misogyny anyone) while it is treated by other NPCs as something to be conquered, something alien and other that beckons them to invade, they constantly try to get into the city where all da sexyyyy women are (hello????????????) and its less treated as disgusting and more like a haha little joke (in botw theres a guy circling around the city at all times??? excuse me?? and in totk the same guy is SNEAKING ON THE ROOFS OF THE HOUSES IN THE CITY LOOKING TO GET IN?????????????????)
the argument of that just being real life is ... not all wrong per se but the thing is, ONLY the Gerudo are treated like sexy things to be oogled at (both in OOT and botw/totk, possibly even more but i am not as familiar with all games in the franchise) and no other women from any species is eyebrow raising to say the least, and it never really gets called out either beyond making fun of that one guy by scamming him out of his boots by .. pretending to be a girl (pretty sure link is the only non Gerudo that is oogled at by anyone and its the creepiest creep)
then, with Riju in particular its made even worse that she is not just young but VERY young (which also begs the question why the fuck the Gerudo would put someone so young into the seat of leader of their entire region- something also no other race does), shes only 12 in botw and yet, like all the other children too, put into the same kind of outfit, but then theres also the commentary in the concept art book saying that "gerudo age faster than hylians and thats why shes got a mature air to her" which, among being a way to make how shes sexualized (both in outfit and at times camera angles- also applies to Urbosa) seem more okay (its not) and plays into the stereotype that people of color are quicker to gorw up and thus be treated as adults despite being children like any other child- hence why often in the news when a black child is shot they dont call them a child but "young man", using that to subtly shift it to seem more okay (like we are currently seeing in the genocide of palestine, news calling a murdered SIX year old palestinian "YOUNG WOMAN" while calling a 19 year old white soldier lady who got a little bruise an abused child)
and it also applies to Ganondorf, he is the epitome of evil arab men stereotype, power hungry abusive and ruling over lots of women (in this case its his entire race...), (with a hint of antisemitism too, his hooked nose being both used as an overemphasized feature for arabs and jewish people as a sign of their connection to the devil/sing of evil and to other them from white 'good little noses'- (((i want to yell about this so much bc big and hooked noses are so cool and beautiful argh))) and his skin tone being always some strange greyish-yellow color no one else has and even worse mint green in totks official art, despite him being very dark grey in model- green skin being yet another antisemitic trope PLUS playing into the whole idea that being evil means you also LOOK evil, whichs is often, who would have guessed- anything that isnt the traditional western beauty ideal of thin thin white and young)
while also in totk, he as well is sexualized with his new revealing outfit and the weird constant emphasis on how he is meant to be sexy to everyone alike (and it not being apparent in the game nor used in it) in multiple interviews with the main people in charge of the franchise- and his evilness being what all the Gerudo must atone for, they birthed this eviiil man (who is evil from birth i guess bc thats totally fine and logical) and they have to bear that sin for all eternity (as in dialog about him in the gerudo sage cutscene, plus the whole idea of the closed off city, despite there having been no ganondorf in thousands of years, being closed of to men as to shut out any potential Ganondorf or similar evil? though the latter im not sure how supported it is .. i cant remember every line of dialog ok) while the hyrulean monarchy and its uwu blonde god descdendants are never even confronted with the horrible shit they did, bc its fine if they torture and murder people (OOT and possibly more), chase them into the void or persecute their own servants bc da king got afraid they could rise up against him- with their only choice being give up their tech and knowledge to live under the royal rule (botw/totk ancient shiekah- shiekah, and its presented as a good thing, we are all happy beign the eternal servants of the monarchy :)))) or be killed, and the ones resisting are eviiiill and now a cult and also very stupid and silly and not to be taken seriously (yiga) while its mentioned once as a fun fact and never ever mentioned again, bc, the hyrulean monarchy is all god descendant uwu white blonde people that are so good you guys, everything they do is in the name of good uwu and neva to be questioned uwu bc obviously everyone that opposed to them is evil bc they are the perfectest good guys uwu
youd think, and i hoped, they would do better by now, in botw, the gerudo are not well done at all, different than before but still bad, but at least they introduced other people with darker skin tones that arent Gerudo so they are not the literal only people with non white skin anymore- but with totk espeically, they had the chance to make Ganondorf into an interesting villain with a point, maybe not even full blown villain, bc he has a point- he does but its not treated as such, its treated as if he is the most blatantly flat evil guy ever- even more flat and one note evil than all his previous appearances, which is frankly, quite insulting to say the least
look i wanted to keep it short but here we are, i dont know if this anon was genuinely being genuine or not (since bigots like to act all non offensive and like to ask you to explain your very obvious point ..) but i dont htink i ever talked about it as a whole so eh- i probably missed stuff but anyway, heres a good video about it for zelda in particular
youtube
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ot9snumber1 · 4 months
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POLY!MISAMO POLY!MISAMO
im here!
yk me and bondage we just go together..
sub!momo getting tied to the bed bc she lost a bet of who could go the longest without touching themselves, sana and mina playing with her until she gets whiny and crying mess because of overstimulation..
I LOVE YOU!! always the first to save me <3
YES OMG :( misana intentionally made the bet with a drunk momo because they knew she would never ever last. even if sober momo swore she would never lose a bet (jihyo's competitiveness totally rubbing off on her), there were some things she just couldn't resist.
just as they thought things couldn't get any better (or worse, for momo), mina was out celebrating a friend's birthday and sana was out for another graff photoshoot.
in short, momo didn't even last a day.
sana was the first to tease her, sending her a selfie from the dressing room. she was only wearing the lingerie set mina bought her a while back with a very expensive necklace accentuating her cleavage. too bad you're not here, love. would do anything for you to eat me out rn :(
momo takes deep breaths and takes a cold shower. she just responds with a thumbs up emoji, making sana laugh. momo isn't a fool. she knows when she's being tricked. even if mina tried to get her to break the bet, too.
i don't think i ever sent this to you. thought you'd like it.
momo thinks she could implode at any given moment now. she stares at her phone, frozen as she stood still in the doorway to their shared room. mina was Evil. capital E.
the video mina sent seemed to be hastily recorded. the phone must've fallen over before mina hit record, because all she could see was the ceiling of the bathroom. not that she needed to see anything, anyway. she recognized the scene almost instantly.
"ah—fuck, fuck me right there!" mina moaned. momo felt herself blush, unable to click off the video. it was when momo had bought her current favorite strap and couldn't even wait until they got home to test it out.
momo takes another cold shower, but that didn't help either. her girlfriends were just far too stubborn to let her win just this once.
we'll be home soon <3 sana texted. momo felt happy at that, dreaming of being able to cook for them again, cuddle, kiss, et cetera.
until sana followed her message with a video of mina sucking on her tits.
that was momo's last straw.
"f–fu—ah!" momo whined as she inserted another finger into herself, barely being able to hold her phone. she tried to focus on rewatching the video over and over—but just the sound of sana's sultry voice commanding mina to do what she wanted was sending her into overdrive.
they wouldn't find out, right? if momo was just careful enough...
sana laughs maniacally when she steps into the bedroom. she didn't even need to walk closer to see the big damp spot on it. "mina!" sana calls out as she ran down the stairs to reunite with her girls. "i think our little momoring owes us something."
momo's heart drops. she'd never been more scared and turned on at the same time.
momo tries closing her legs again, the feeling of sana's fingers in her and vibrator on her clit just felt like too much. sana slaps her thighs lightly, forcing her to hold them open. "take it, slut. isn't this what you wanted? to be used?"
sana returns to overstimulating momo while mina pinched and sucked at her nipples. momo let out a high-pitched whine, tears streaming down her cheeks. "mff—fuck! please, i'll be a good girl i swear—"
"should've thought about that earlier, no?" mina teased. "you know how she is." sana hums, smiling in satisfaction when momo cums for the umpteenth time. "can't think about anything but fucking and being fucked."
both sana and mina laugh at that. "yeah. our baby is just a filthy–minded freak, hm?" mina coos as her fingers trail down to replace the vibrator sana held against her clit. "shit!" momo cried out, throwing her head back and wanting nothing more than to hold their wrists in place. (too bad her wrists were the ones being held in place. there was nothing prettier than sana's necktie restraining momo from doing anything but cry, in mina and sana's opinion.)
"answer." mina says lowly, slapping her cunt. momo whines again, her voice raspy from how much she's screamed so far. "y–yes! j–jus' a freak for you two."
sana chuckles again, curling her fingers in momo. "atta girl."
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hueningshaped · 2 years
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★ limelight | c.yj
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▰ genre: fluff and angst (sorta) - there’s a lot and nothing going on at the same time
▰ word count: 4.4k
▰ synopsis: you show up to one of yeonjun’s grand parties at his grand estate and you find you’re the only one who actually showed up + yeonjun is a big softie but has a bad reputation </3
a/n: i started writing this bc i saw this interview and it got away from me… i feel like a bad person for writing this but anyways im getting worse and worse with titling these things idk what to do hhhh also i realized too late that i made him to be like gatsby and i was too lazy to fix or elaborate that i apologize for this ! this sat in my drafts for far too long and well i just wanted something published >_&lt;
When the school year began, kicking off your first semester at this brand new university, you knew little to nothing about Choi Yeonjun and his reputation, let alone where your classes were.
From the chatter that always seemed to filter around you, no matter where you were in the campus, talk about this guy would range from little compliments to extreme accusations of things you’d never even dream of knowing.
You hadn’t planned on making friends or hanging out with said friends, so these internal affairs didn’t appeal to you. This was how your school career here was supposed to go.
Things changed when your schedule suddenly could no longer afford a certain class at a certain time, so last minute, almost two weeks in, you were thrust into an entire new class for this one elective.
Things further remixed when your professor practically forced you to partner up and form groups with those around you, much to your dissatisfaction. (You struggled to socialize, even if the matters at hand were merely for school.)
To your astonishment, Yeonjun was by far amongst the popular, or in high demand of other students wanting to partner up. You knew little about him, but it seemed even then he was a magnet for popularity. The situation just made you feel like a child again,
That day, when he and you made eye contact, you realized he was also remarkably beautiful. Tall, handsome, proportionate, pretty, bright, and surprisingly pretty funny. He had it all. He was friends with everyone. It just seemed that he was a star, the star.
Professor Kwon seemed to have had enough of these childish antics and decided to take matters into her own hands.
“Y/N,” she called, earning the eyes of other students. It seemed as though that had been the first time anyone had registered your presence. And not with open arms, might you add. “I see that you’re unfortunately running a bit behind, since you just transferred in, and that’s okay! To get you caught up and for extra help and guidance, I’d like you to partner up with Yeonjun. Yeonjun?”
If anything could be made from the way his eyes found and trained on you, you knew for a fact that Yeonjun stared.
He blinked owlishly before being met with your back once you turned away from him.
That had been the first chance meeting; class had ended before he could assume a seat beside you, the one where your backpack had been. Nonetheless, you had seemed adamant about spending as little time as possible with Yeonjun.
Life’s deck of cards did not fold in your favor.
He sat beside you everyday. Not only that, you realized that he was the type of person to reach out constantly; he initiated conversations, hangouts, discussion, complimented your nails or jewelry, even your stationary. The stark contrast between him and you left you with an odd taste in your mouth.
Weeks blurred into canvases of months, and you noticed more that he remained firm in his role to show you around campus, ensure that you were caught up, or that you were doing well, even if he would miss more questions on a test or quiz than you. It was puzzling, but a part of you welcomed it, even if you were set on not getting attached, especially to the guy that was everywhere—fashion club (in which he would model for the others quite often, for the arranged fashion shows, and if you could count how often he made you meet him there for group work, you’d be comfortably wealthy), pottery club, dance classes, culinary classes, etc.
It seemed inevitable that you’d come across him. A part of that was why you hadn’t been unable to turn down the party invitation he himself handed to you along with a humble bouquet of flowers and gift card for a cafe you had mentioned you enjoyed.
Despite the grandeur of the building before you, the bass of the music vibrating the walls, the stringlike straps of the gift bag in your hand weighing and drawing pained lines into your palm, the grip of an uncomfortably dressy outfit, you find yourself shocked at the revelation that you can’t bring yourself to leave. It would just take a few steps to perfectly turn away and start your descent. In fact, it would require an insanely less amount of effort to come down as you had come up.
Yet, the excuses that you’ve had kept in your pockets in use for lack of attendance were out. You’d lived your entire life this way, and it amazed you that even now, you were under the impression you were able to recycle the excuses that have kept you the way that you are: home-bodied, comfortable.
But at the same time, you wondered, if you were to quickly zip off into the sunset and just text him that something had come up, what exactly would you be missing?
A buzz from the elevator tethered and pulled you back down to earth. You could make a break for it, if you really wanted to. There was a cute cafe just down the street that you’d passed that seemed worth visiting; you could catch a seat in the far corner, so there wouldn’t be a chance in hell anyone could prove you were even in the area.
A tumble and click of the door’s locks whipped your head back to the now open door where you saw your beautiful classmate. The usual features jumped out to you: his height, piercings, luscious lips, that unnervingly gorgeous twinkle of the mole below his eye, and his heavy but welcoming cologne.
“Y/N,” Yeonjun called your name so cheerfully it took you by surprise. “You came.”
Now, with a change of setting, lighting, and proximity, there was more to meet your eye: he did his hair, the eyeshadow around his eyes was a brilliant idea, the subtle lines of his neck, the twitch of his now widening smile, the blush settling over the tips of his ears — since when did his Adam’s apple bob so much?
Reality settled enough now for you to see the surprising amount of illumination from behind his figure.
“Y/N,” he said again, a little weaker but still rich in enthusiasm, which made you laugh. That seemed to sober him up, too. “You came.”
There was something in his tone, in the lilt, in the almost hushed descent of volume that raised a nebulous implication. You opened your mouth to speak, but only for all words to elude you with his next statement.
“Hey, it’s like the first time seeing you in this color or something,” you looked down at your near-uncomfortable outfit with a frown itching your features.
“What makes you say that?” You asked aloud, unaware that your back was now to the closed door, and you were inside. A place that felt like what the second home of a millionaire must look like with the high ceilings, echo of your voices, and the shine of every surface possible.
He tilted his head, letting a few strands of hair fall over his brow before regaining composure.
“It really suits you. You’re really good looking,” your mouth went dry at that. Even if you could form a sentence, you weren’t sure of what to say. Who in their right mind said that so easily?
“Oh! Let me take that from you,” when he reached down to take the gift bag, your fingers jostled beside his, and it shocked you enough to shiver. “Wow, really sweet of you to have brought something.”
He said it more to himself, eyes twinkling and the apples of his cheeks so high.
As you followed and tried to keep the staring to a minimum, there was a pressing weight that wouldn’t leave you be. Even when a maid, you assumed, had helped you into a nice set of slippers (which you were going to definitely replace your other pair with), there was something off that you couldn’t quite your finger on. Not in a skin crawling way. Just something amiss, but you paid it no heed.
The music had significantly lowered from when you were at the front step, when the very beat had intervened your own heart’s, down to the minimal volume stemming still from the room you walked closer and closer to.
As you entered the kitchen, which overlooked what you assumed to be the living room and a living space that was about the same size as your own apartment, it all came to you. A little shudder itched down from your ears to your ankles.
There was no one else here.
Maybe you were too early. Maybe you got the dates mixed up. Maybe everyone just left, and you, by some chance, missed a large crowd going the opposite way you came. But, it didn’t change the fact that there wasn’t a soul in the suite.
Shuffling resonated behind you, along with a defeated, almost tired sigh. You turned to it, your heart stumbling at the means of the situation.
Yeonjun leaned his body against the marble counter. It lifted his cardigan off his body, so you could catch the gleam of his luxurious looking belt. Gucci, maybe? Something expensive, that was all you knew. Despite his fancy outfit, and the runway-ready look of makeup that was set on his remarkably beautiful face, it couldn’t shake the fact that his expression was downcast due to the matter at hand.
What a beautiful person. It seemed futile to even consider or humor the idea that no one appreciated Yeonjun—more than the objectively, unbiased charm of his appearance; his obvious abyss of money; his sportsmanship; personality that had to have been molded from a mother and father who loved their only son with all of their hearts.
Of course, people had to see beyond his pretty face, right?
“Yeah, I know,” he let out halfheartedly, chuckling with a pained smile: the sardonic tone was in reference to the lack of guests.
You weren’t sure what to say, really. It was clear he hadn’t an idea either, only choosing to state the obvious. There were dozens of pathways that could be taken on dozens of things that could be said in this moment. So, you opted for —
“What did you have in mind to do tonight?”
His smile only blossomed from there.
Aside from the buffet of food readied and arranged in a beautiful way on the table, which became of the object of most your stolen glances for the night, the fun for the night seemed never ending. There were drinks available due to a bar within the pool house, which was, of course, behind the actual pool, but that was hardly the beginning of all that was available to you.
You learned a lot about Yeonjun throughout the games and eating.
However, you felt that the starkest revelations about your classmate were made when the sun had officially taken its place beneath the clouds that were practically high tide. The moon was full enough that you could see its dimples and craters; this observation was enough of a distraction from the fact that the proximity between you two was nearly too close for comfort.
You and Yeonjun now sat at the edge of the pool with your feet in, a gentle breeze wading through the air and erupting ripples that would make the water lift a little higher up your legs.
The light chatter that had been resonating from the height of the games you had played or when you had snacked had settled into complete silence. Surprisingly, it wasn’t uncomfortable; this was something you’d come to put two and two together. Even when you both would study together, the bouts of quietude never felt unnerving to you. It felt natural.
Despite the serenity of it all, Yeonjun’s constant fiddling with his fingers gave you the impression he had something on his mind.
“This doesn’t always happen if you’re wondering,” he laughed cynically, kicking at the water. “I’m just surprised it was you that showed up.”
The longer you wait to assemble all that you wish to convey, it became easier to see how far his heart was traveling south.
“You didn’t think I was going to show up?” You asked and he choked lightly on one of his little laughs. It was moreso out of the fact you didn’t want to say anything he didn’t want to say.
“No, no… well, I thought you’d be the last person to ever show up for me. It means a lot,” he sighed again, and the air just became so taut you couldn’t ignore it.
“Yeonjun, is it okay if I ask why no one showed up. I mean, you invited the upperclassmen, too. And those guys practically worship you… You always go to their parties, but the one time you throw one and…”
Your words died in your throat. He craned his neck, stretching his neck as he leaned his head back. What a beautiful person.
He tilted his head to meet eyes with you, lids relaxed, but there was that smile dry of any hope. A drought.
“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you fall for that act, too,” he sighed, like it exhausted him.
“What ‘act’? Is-do you mean…” your words died in your throat, and at that moment, he glanced up towards you again, eyes unwavering in their almost cautious gaze. You cleared your throat. “What? They just use you?”
Your tone was a blunt pierce into his back. It could be seen in his wince that squeezed at his eyes. He nodded.
“I felt like you knew by now. I mean, everyone does,” he exhaled, kicking his legs around. A chill wracked his body. “Still doesn’t stop me from hoping, which I see now is pathetic.”
You stared hard at his cuffed jeans, chest filling endlessly with something as heavy as dread but as dense as remorse. You weren’t sure.
“That’s why you were surprised I came?”
A part of you cracked, like a glass of fine china getting nicked.
“I don’t mean to appeal to you for pity. I realize, again, I’m hosting my own literal pity party, and you’re the only guest,” he leaned forward, elbows settling on his knees to keel forward. “You must be so miserable.”
“Not entirely.” You tried to joke, but as soon as the last syllable left your mouth, you were hit with the piping hot revelation that you are not very funny. He looked up to you, face half hidden by his hair. Eyes dark with possible shock and dejection of your statement.
“I’m kidding, Yeonjun, I’m kidding,” you panicked. He deflated at that.
“It’s just that I honestly had the most fun I’ve had since I got to this school today. Pool party, food, games-I mean, literal games; like are you kidding me?” It was the truth. He sat up pretty quickly. “You said that this doesn’t always happen—what do you mean by that?”
Yeonjun lifted his hand to brush back his hair away from his face.
“Yeah,” he sniffed. “It was when I didn’t have the reputation I have now.”
“Reputation?”
He nodded again but more sullenly. His full lip jutted out, and you curbed the urge to almost coo.
“There’s lots of rumors, some are false. Rarely are they true. But, at the end of the day, when people see me, all they see is a pretty face, maybe, but they see a judgmental, opinionated snob with a lot of money,” Yeonjun paused and you looked at him again. “But, when you get to know me, you’ll just find that I’m a fool, innocent and afraid of a lot of things.”
By now, since the sun had officially taken its place beneath the horizon, his pool lights flipped on and bathed you both from underneath. Distantly, nightingales chirped their twenty something repertoires, unfurling their sweet notes to the darkened sky.
A moment passed before you felt like the song wasn’t in your throat anymore.
“You really are beautiful, you know that?” To your astonishment, he breathed a broken inhale, and he shuffled his posture and eyes around, as if shy from your statement.
“Do you really see me that way?” He asked, tone lifting in something close to hope. When Yeonjun looked at someone, and truly looked, you noticed his eyes shimmer, even by a twinkle at the least.
You nodded with a smile. He mirrored your response.
Another breeze nestled its way past your thin layers of clothes, which ignited a shiver from you. He blinked a few times soberly before immediately rising, water crashing and pouring down his legs over the edge. He now stood, hunched over with an extended arm towards you. Yeonjun looked to you expectantly.
“You must be freezing and uncomfortable. Come, let’s get out and get you in some warm, comfortable clothes.” If anyone else, in any other circumstances, had said that to you, they would have been met with hesitance; this time, you slid your palm into his and allowed him to pull you up and guide you to warmth, even if he himself radiated it in waves.
He knew how to take care of a guest, the way a great host would, even if he had maids, housekeepers, people looking after him. They allowed him to do as he pleased, and he was definitely pleased by taking care of you and helping you around the house as if you lived here.
After the initial shock of the most luxurious shower you have ever taken in your life, you found that there was a change of fresh, warm clothes for you folded neatly on the marble bathroom counter. Somehow, you didn’t hate it; it was just cotton sweats and a cotton t-shirt—both plain and gray, but you could tell they were new. Had you lived in luxury your entire life, you had a feeling these would be purchased straight from the mall, probably priced with triple digits, including taxes.
There was a hairdryer ready at your disposal, but you opted out, almost a little overwhelmed at the fact that every possible need or even want could be met so easily here.
When you found your way back to the main room (you were surprised that you hadn’t gotten lost), Yeonjun was in the living room, scrolling through Netflix mindlessly. Until he perked up at the staccato sliding of your slippers against his pristine floor.
He jumped and smiled as soon as he turned to you, full lips stretched welcomingly. Yeonjun had also changed attire—monochromed flannel over the exact same outfit you had on. The realization that you were matching made your ears and cheeks burn.
“Welcome back,” his tone was quite soft, said in a manner as if he had rehearsed it in his head a few times. “Was everything to your liking? And the clothes?”
You blinked at him a few times, returning a smile to ease his worries.
“Yeah, it was all perfect, Yeonjun. Thank you,” you walked around the couch to take a spot on the other side of the sofa, despite countless other sofas present around you. He immediately relaxed into the cushions at that. “Are you looking for something in particular to watch?”
He gave a short, little laugh: one that made you jump with how genuinely cute you found it. What an adorable guy. Yeah, that was what he was to you.
Apparently, he was looking for a film not on Netflix, so you spent a while looking on almost every streaming service. When it came down to watching the movie, he made sure you were comfortable and hopped off the couch to turn the lights off, even though the nearest butler had offered to do so.
Halfway through, even if the movie had you both confused, one of his many butlers had come in, crouched down to his level in between you to mutter a hushed, “Mr. and Mrs. Choi wanted me to notify you that they will be returning home in half an hour.”
His eyes twinkled again as he gave a little node, lips parting in understanding.
“Oh, okay. Thank you. Was there anything else they wanted to say?”
“No, sir. They had only called to give you notice, so as to not startle you.”
“Okay, thank you!”
He grinned at the butler, watching him walk out. When Yeonjun turned back towards you, you had lowered the volume by a lot and were beaming at him without realizing.
“What?” He asked curiously, and you snickered, losing the fastest staring contest you’d played in your whole life.
“That’s really kind of your parents to do that.” You said with a sigh, one that was done with your whole body. He tilted his head, quickly pausing the movie.
“Yeah, it’s no big deal. They might, um, ask you to stay for dinner or something. I don’t know. Don’t feel obligated to do anything, though. It’s just that - well - they encourage me to throw these parties. After all, it doesn’t hurt anyone.”
You couldn’t help but frown, furrowing your eyebrows.
“Well, that’s…” It was hard to find the words. “Again, that’s really kind. But, it does hurt someone in the end. It hurts you, doesn’t it?”
He laughed again gently, leaning his weight on an elbow and pushing his bangs back from his face.
“It does, but only because no one else has been coming since rumors spread and my reputation got worse. I think one day, things might turn around for me.”
You let out a scoff and leaned on the arm rest to which he perked, eyes shimmering warily.
“What?”
“I don’t get it. I don’t get how you’re still a nice, good person, no matter how unfairly treated—“
It was his turn to scoff, though there was no venom detected.
“I’m not that unfairly treated. I’m an incredibly privileged person, really—“
“Yeonjun, you deserve the world!” You raised your voice a little, and his eyes translated clearly the awestricken feeling that hit him straight in the face.
“Sorry,”
“No, don’t be sorry. Please,” he played with a button on his flannel before looking back up to you hesitantly. “It’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me — who meant it.”
The movie was quickly progressing, but you had hit mute, so the colors and light from the expansive television washed over you. It was a quiet moment, but it was nice. The two of you smiled at each other, and you weren’t sure for how long, but it had to have been quite some time, considering that that same butler entered again, this time turning a lamp on with him.
“Sir, your mother and father have called to notify you they will be entering within five minutes.”
Yeonjun bid his thanks, watching him walk away and returning his cat eyed gaze to you, to see that you were standing up.
“I should probably get going. I’ve overstayed my welcome.”
He stood with you, shaking his head with that ever present smile on his face.
“No, that’s… I promise that’s not true,” he cleared his throat, swinging one of his arms a little awkwardly. “I can walk you out to your car.”
Halfway to the door, he had even asked, “Are you sure you don’t want my chauffeur to take you home and someone else to drop off your vehicle?”
Of course, he was met with resistance to his question. Yeonjun noted to himself that despite all the silent fights and walls you put up with him, throughout your shared class and the last few months of school you shared with him, you were the one to tear down a few for him.
When you both reached your car, your heart quickened its pace and the ripples of its beat paced heavily in your ears, and you couldn’t figure out why.
Instead of the uncomfortable bag and clothes from before, you held a new gift bag with your belongings in it, but besides that, you felt you also carried a new attitude moreso towards your classmate.
“Well, um… Thank you for having me, Yeonjun.” You grinned at him, sweetly showed your teeth, to which he dimpled shyly, as if he felt sheepish about the red creeping on the tips of his ears.
After a brief beat of silence, his eyes confronted yours and he outstretched a hand to you.
Without thinking, which was probably a good thing, you slipped your hand into his, admiring the warmth and placement of his lines, the lengths of his digits, when he brought the backside of your palm to his mouth shakily. His full lips pressed a tender kiss that surged and electrified all the wires in your brain that made you shiver. He let go with another shy but sure smile.
“Thank you for showing up for me, Y/N.”
He watched you open your door after you had hesitated and struggled with the lock, but you hadn’t stepped in yet. Yeonjun arched an eyebrow.
“We should do this more often. Would you want to hang out again?” You asked, and his face dropped. What were those eyes thinking?
“Yeah,” he cleared his throat and nodded. Nodded again and another time after that.
“Sounds good. And since you have my number, we can text, too,” you smiled, and he also noted that it showed in your eyes this time. “Well, I’ll see you in class tomorrow, Jun.”
Even if the surface seemed as simple as a pavement, Yeonjun felt stunned, seeing the dirt, the ants, the roots of earth, the mantle of the world beneath his feet.
“Please text me when you get home safely, okay?”
You nodded, chest blossoming.
“I will,” Tonight would be the beginning of your real friendship with Yeonjun, who was now more than just your classmate. You vowed to remain by his side, to protect him, to cherish him, to put yourself out there for him in ways he did so naturally for you, to introduce new things to him, but most importantly, to be there for him.
Maybe you would finally be able to tell him how you feel since you don’t think you can imagine the next semester without him in one of your classes, but for tonight, and foremost, you would be his (first) friend.
“I promise.”
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zeephyre · 3 months
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CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 3 EPISODE 85 SPOILERS
IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND YALL
Where do I even ??? start ???
I haven't been posting c3 as the episodes dropped in...a while actually, like right before they went to the feywild. i have many thoughts and many feelings about so many things that have happened since then and I'll summarise them so I can get to THIS episode.
fearne and ashton - love their shard powers, they're literally royalty and terrifying, and i want them to make-out. i can't wait to see them go full primordial again in a real combat situation.
imogen - save her. literally save her. free her, even. i love everything about the call of ruidus when it comes to imogen on a narrative standpoint, but...God I get so worried that we're gonna lose her. I don't mean she's gonna betray the hells, but...ruidus could take her and then i would simply perish.
laudna - before i really get into wtf went down this episode with her and she who must not be named, i gotta say... im worried. very very worried. however, that fireball was objectively the best shit ever.
fcg - i can't even really remember anything stand out abt fcg except what Sam pulled last night so.
chetney - still the heart of the team, still my baby girl, still my favourite. love him to bits.
orym - i think laudna is going to beat his ass one of these days and im... even more concerned about that after this episode. his nana morri powers are cool as fuck tho... does that make him a warlock now? i know he isn't multi-classing but wouldn't that be cool
ANYWAY WE'RE ON THE FUCKING MOON AND WE GOT MOON LORE AND EVERYTHING WAS SHITTY THEN FUN THEN SHITTY THEN FUN AGAIN THEN REALLY FUCKING SAD THEN IT ALL WENT TO SHIT AGAIN.
the moment imogen reached out to ruidus and matt mentioned that she could sense where other ruidusborn were i fucking knew that otohan was high tailing it in their direction, and i thought they instinctively knew that too but they probably got so distracted.
we were travelling for hours and had a huge fight that almost got them captured (not to be confused with the OTHER two fights that almost got them captured) and I was begging and screaming and crying for them to get a long rest safely hidden away AND THEN THEY SPLIT THE PARTY WITH BARELY ANY SPELL SLOTS OR HIT POINTS AFTER BEING DRAINED FROM ANOTHER BATTLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM
(Sidenote, the willmaster really opened up the door to the further increase in moral pondering in a certain number of hellians. i do think using the harness is disgusting and hypocritical, but i don't condemn them for it, it just...makes me wanna vomit thinking abt what ludinus did with it. not to mention the HUNGER parallels between laudna and ludinus...its just not good yall. also??? objectively funny that fcg seemed weirded out by the idea of killing the willmaster, not just with the harness but in general, considering how many people they've killed up to this point)
idk if its just the inherent terror that an evil old hot lady can inspire that makes otohan so much more terrifying to me than ludinus. like, objectively, ludinus is a worse threat and could wipe them out EASILY but jesus otohan is like the damn reaper to me. it's the trauma from the laudna, fearne, orym massacre mixed with the underlying little drop from their uthodurn romp that let us know that resurrection spells are NOT working and idk if that got fixed bc of time passing or distance from the leylines but i really did not want to test that shit out in real time
thank...god that sam riegel is a damn genius player, that banishment of fcg and fearne was the ONLY reason fcg survived. and thank GOD FOR KEYLETH BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT CLOUD SPELL BELLS HELLS WOULD BE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY DEAD RN.
God, "otohan has us. run." is going to haunt me just as much, if not more than the almost tpk. it just...shot me straight back to bassuras and the plan to run that just...immediately fell apart.
god fcg truly could have died there. and fearne would be captured. i know the hells would be too stupid and too brave and too loyal to leave fearne with otohan in their cloud form but can you imagine a world where fcg was gone, fearne was captured and the hells had to switch from recon to rescue... itd be stressful but pretty fun.
thankfully it didn't come to that and some good came from the shit.
ruidus is so beautiful. i was worried they'd end being trapped under ruidus while they explored (not that I wasn't on board with the detours, I wish this wasn't a time sensitive mission), but matt's imagery of the fossilized elven structure and garden made me sad but also happy that we got to see it.
i cannot believe that the stupid plan to shove fearne up a water hole happened AGAIN and it ended up with us FINDING A BACK HOLE TO RUIDUS GOD I LOVE THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS WHEN IS THE NEXT EPISODE MATT YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME. WHERE EVEN ARE THEY??? IS IT EVEN EXANDRIA???? WHAT DO WE DO IF IT IS EXANDRIA??? WHERE DID THIS HOLE EVEN COME FROM???? DOES IT CLOSE AND REOPEN??? IS IT STAGNANT?????? IS IT FUCKING STABLE?!?!?!?!?!
God...we could go back to keyleth and the others and actually invade ruidus without encountering the ruby vanguard. (that's if they're alright because otohan did go out onto the battlefield and we don't know what fhe fuck she did when the illusion fell through)
GOD. IS IT THURSDAY YET??? WE HAVENT EVEN FOUND THE RESISTANCE????
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alatushours · 4 months
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☆ 731 DAYS, featuring xiao — time flew by when he was with you. who would’ve thought it had been two years already?
contents. gender neutral reader. fluff n' marriage, partly written from xiao's pov? very selfship-coded, just xiao reminiscing the past with you ♡ word count. 879
notes. hi guys ik you’re probably getting sick of all the xiao content which im so sorry about but i had to bc today is my two-year anniversary with xiao <3 plus it’s the first post of the new year so ofc i had to write for him ! it’s shorter than most of my other xiao posts tho so hopefully you all won’t find it to be too boring …
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glittering stars twinkled across the moonlit sky as the vigilant yaksha stood at the balcony of the wangshu inn, gazing towards the liyue plains beyond. he was waiting for someone; a certain person that he'd met right on this balcony what hadn't even felt that long ago. 
it was certainly far more difficult circumstances back then; liyue was struggling from the loss of their archon, and he was left to pick up the pieces. up until then, the adeptus never thought he would find peace for himself. that was, until you came into his life. 
the sound of footsteps creaking on the wooden staircase snapped him out of his thoughts. he would recognize those footsteps anywhere; that, and the familiar voice that exclaimed, “i’m back!” 
xiao turned from where he stood, a tiny hint of a smile forming on his lips as he greeted his lover. “i was waiting for you, qingxin.” 
there you stood with a sheepish grin on your face, plate of almond tofu in hand. "sorry, i got held back a bit from work. i made dessert for you, though.” 
your husband pressed a kiss to your lips. “thank you, dear. it’s been a while since i’ve had a taste of your cooking.” 
he turned his head away, voice lowered. “i’m sorry for making you come over to the inn instead of our home, but i wanted to meet with you here tonight.”
you nodded, reaching forward to grasp his hand in yours. “i know why. it’s a special place, and today is a special day, right? for you, for me, for us.”  
xiao didn’t reply for a moment. “…‘the moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?’ that’s what you told me at this same spot, two years ago.” do you still remember the events of this day back then?” 
“of course i remember.” you walked towards the edge of the balcony with xiao in tow, leaning against the railing. “the lantern rite was in full swing this time of year. i wanted to watch the fireworks with you, so i came over the wangshu inn with some tofu.” 
“but i was off fighting monsters,” xiao remarked. “i apologize to have kept you waiting for so long that night.” 
“no, but that’s what made the moment special, y’know?” you smiled at the memory. “i waited here in this spot for what seemed like hours, calling out your name. the sun had already set when i arrived, and at one point keqing even told me i was going to miss the celebration if i stayed here and tried to drag me off.” 
you turned to face him, and xiao nearly lost his breath. “but then you came.” 
you looked ethereal standing there, bathed in moonlight, the serenest of smiles on your face. 
“i did,” he replied, squeezing your hand. “and that was the moment my life changed forever.” 
“for the better, or for the worse?” you joked. 
he flicked your forehead. “don’t ask such dumb questions, silly.” xiao looked up towards the sky, the moon high up in the sea of stars. “it’s just the same, isn’t it…”
the conditions that night been exactly the same as this; except the sky had been lit up with fireworks two years ago. the same year that he had kneeled on this balcony, confessing his love for you as colorful sparks lit up the sky. 
“will you marry me, y/n?” 
“the same as what?” you asked, leaning your head on his shoulder. 
the adeptus shook his head. “nothing, just thinking out loud.” he looked down towards the first floor of the inn, where traveling merchants were still strolling about. “a shame the lantern rite doesn’t start until later this year. we could have watched the fireworks show together again.” 
“i thought the vigilant yaksha hated the lantern rite,” you teased him. “is the conqueror of demons getting soft, hm?” 
xiao slapped your arm in protest. “shut up.” he looked away, grumbling. “i only said so because i know you enjoy the display, mortal.” 
you laughed, a sound that was music to his ears. “you’re so silly, xiao.” you smiled and gave him a kiss. “that’s okay, the stars are enough of a show for me.” 
“is it now?” he pressed another kiss to your lips, one hand running through your hair. “well then, i know the perfect place where we can watch the stars.” 
you followed his hand as it pointed up towards the roof. 
“yippee!” 
as you settled down to stargaze, his arms wrapped around your waist so you wouldn’t fall, xiao couldn’t help but think to himself how lucky he was. he had always thought his karma meant he couldn’t feel happiness, but now you had come into his life, and for the first time he felt at peace. as if he could finally be happy, after a millennia of suffering. 
yes, in some ways being immortal was a curse; but it was also a blessing, for if he was just a mere mortal long ago he wouldn’t have met you. the light of his life, his love. xiao was so glad to have you with him these past two years, and the adeptus promised himself that he would never leave your side, until forever do us part.
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end notes. guys once again i’m sorry for writing so much xiao stuff lately :( he was my first birthday letter i received and also my first double 5 star pull so um he has a special place in my heart if you can’t already tell… i promise i wont write him for a while after this !! need to get some neuvi and tighnari content out here too ! ! but i hoped you guys liked it <3
© alatushours 2024. please do not copy, modify, or translate my work in any way, nor upload to any other platforms. in the meantime, if you enjoyed, please like, reblog, and comment! it helps a lot ♡
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strawberryseeded · 6 months
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thinking abt bllk (no surprise there) and how (at least until now) all (well, most of?) the characters backstories aka basically the reason for their most prominent issues are, instead of extremely tragic and complex events, simply children's logic applied to recurrent situations in their daily lives (and especially the sport they love):
bachira feels lonely: bachira was a weird and lonely kid who was also extremely passionate abt (and talented in) football, more than any other kid, making bachira feel isolated even when he was playing with others. this got even worse when the kids he played with started to resent him, calling him a "monster" and bullying him. while talking with his mom, she told him to keep believing in his inner voice and ignore those who dont understand him, resulting in bachira giving that voice the form of a "monster" that can play football with him to feel less lonely. which, obviously, made him even more lonely, even if it was an imaginary friend created to aliviate that feeling. because bachira still felt lonely, even after many years and even after playing with other people in school who werent any fun for him, he kept the monster by his side. believing no one could ever beat this monster (thank GODNESS he did 🎉!!! HE is the monster no one can beat!!!! his arc is one of my favs hes literally unstoppable now, i love him dude i love h)
isagi holds himself back too much: isagi (i read the light novel abt him hehe) was a timid and mild mannered kid until he discovered football, which he fell in love with. while playing the sport he could let go of his shyness and actually be selfish and go all out. uuuntil... he entered his high school's reputable football club, where the motto was to play as a team above everything else (a very anti-blue lock logic lol). isagi then, in an effort to accomodate to the social norms of the club (bc hes isagi, and off the field hes calmer and timider), had to simmer down in the field as well. supress himself. at times it seems like his on and off switch is kind of stuck.
barou has main character syndrome: barou was a very, on top of talented, meticulous kid and therefore the best in football out of every other kid he knew, who didnt take it as seriously and were more than happy to let him score all the goals. he didnt understand why they were satisfied with letting other people take all the glory, so he secluded himself, convinced that he was the only player that actually mattered on the field. the best. the Main Character. everyone else was completely worthless, their only use being to serve HIM. (until he got his ass kicked by isagi and became the villan instead of the main character, bc oh, shit, barou's not actually the main character???? then he'll hunt down & DESTROY the main character).
rin (god, rin) has a brother complex (i used to hate when ppl oversimplify whats wrong w him w this term but tbh it does boil down to this lol ToT): rin idolized his older brother like crazy and wanted to be just like him. bc he was also blessed with talent and also had a great relationship w sae, he had everything he needed to fulfill his dream of being the 2nd best striker, the 1st obviously being his older brother, who rin viewed as the best, most talented player in the world. when sae comes back from spain and tells him 'the world is big and im not actually the best, you go and be the best striker by yourself' (basically: our (your) dream is over), rin has a fucking breakdown. its not really a tragic, despair-inducing event, objectively speaking. but in the manga its framed as such bc for rin, in his childish logic, it is. bc his brother IS the BEST player, what the fuck do you mean hes not number 1 outside of japan?? ....then what about rin? if his brother cant be the best, rin cant be the 2nd best either, let alone the best. he feels like sae ruined everything, gave up, broke their (rin's) dream!!!! after sae humilliates him, rin directs all of his frustrations at him and bows to defeat him. as long as rin sees himself as sae's little brother, he's never gonna be able to surpass him, bc in rin's mind, sae is still the best, his talented big brother.
ness believes kaiser, not him, is the magician: ness's case is more serious bc his family was (is?) emotionally abusive towards him. basically, like every other kid, ness believed in magic. the concept of magic is exciting for children and gives them, in the form of play, the opportunity to express their creativity and exercise their imagination; work out a way to make the impossible come true. bc this is so important for their development, usually its the parents role to, at least to a certain degree, keep alive the belief that magic is real. ness's parents, on the contrary, shut down this belief bc it didnt match with their own views. they saw his interests as a waste of time, even letting his sibilings bully him and treat him badly to make him give up on them. ness, however, didnt, and instead found a more socially acceptable way to 'do magic' and express his creativity: football. he feared greatly, however, that football would be taken away from him, so in that faithful match in which he met kaiser he decided to put all of his trust and hard work on him, bc ness believed kaiser was the person who would be able to make the impossible, the magic that ness wanted to create, happen. i think the key to unlock his full potential is stop relying on kaiser so much and start believing in his own magic (kind of like what happened in hiori's arc). we have yet to know kaiser's backstory but i have a feeling those two enable each other's worst traits...
ETC !!!! sorry i got tired of writing lol
anyways these r just my interpretations of the characters feel free 2 b like "was is she ON about"
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maochira · 1 year
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for the middle child itoshi hdcs wouldn’t it be funny (not really) if bc their brother only care about their lil football feud they’re completely out the loop when it comes to mc’s life ?
like maybe mc graduated high school and then sae/rin notices they don’t wear a uniform when they go out in the morning ,and when he asks about it reader just responds “i already graduated a few months ago”
OR EVEN WORSE THEY LITERALLY FORGET YOUR BDAY and then it comes up in a random setting
just like that one tiktok sound “he’s 29|im 30|we missed your bday ?|” like they go and buy something that requires an ID and the brothers are like “you’re a fucking minor ?????” but really they’re not
it goes to a point where even if mc loves their brothers with their whole heart they just don’t want to get hurt anymore by interacting with them 1 bc sometimes they’re fucking assholes and 2 bc they really don’t want to pick a side
JSJSISIEJ THOSE WERE MY SILLY HDCS
HELLO ANON I LOVE THESE HEADCANONS
Also as I mentioned in this post, this is gonna be my last Itoshi sibling!reader post for now. (aka Itoshi!reader requests are closed for now, if I receive requests for them I'll just keep them in my asks until I'm ready to write them) I've written so much for that, I'm running out of ideas and I wanna write more about other characters! Also anon, I know this was you sharing your headcanons and not asking me for more, I just really felt like expanding this because it's a pretty cool idea!
You're the middle child, aka Rin is literally a year younger than you, and still, he treats you as if he was the big brother all the time. I mean, in height he's correct (for some reason, the youngest siblings turn out the tallest most of the time.) But in age? You're older than him. You're supposed to treat him like the younger sibling, because he is the youngest. But whenever you try to act like an older sibling, Rin will interrupt you.
Sae treats you as if you were way younger than your actual age. All the time. It's as if he's still stuck in the time from before he went to Spain. This wouldn't bother you if he treated Rin like that as well, but he doesn't. He treats Rin appropriately for his age while he acts as if you were still a teenager, when you're very much in your first years as an adult already.
And as much as you love your brothers, you hate how they can't seem to deal with the fact that you're growing up just like they are.
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pencileraser1 · 2 months
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pencil eraser one. you word your long posts about dps very well so im pointing my frustration with media-ly illiterate people in your direction. im constantly seething with rage at this podcast episode i listened to a very long time ago abt dps bc they said neils suicide was STUPID and OVERDRAMATIC. and i just. i wanna throw up that boy killed himself and ur calling himnoverdramatic what do i even do. i am high a little and this is very much affecting me i cant get up from this couch 🎀
you're completely correct for this i actually have a few thoughts about this so uh bear with me for a second
theres something that sucks so much about this specific type of criticism of this movie in particular to me because of how much i relate to neil. i watched dps for the first time when i was 17, severely depressed and borderline suicidal and i related So Much to him. i didn't write off his suicide or criticize it because i'd Been There.
generally i feel like this criticism probably stems from lack of understanding Why he would do what he did, and there's a number of reasons that that this could be although that would be leaning a bit too much into psychoanalysis and assuming things i don't know about them so i'm not going to go into it really
up until it happens, neil seems like he's doing mostly okay, and particularly if you haven't seen the movie before i could see how to certain people his suicide might seem overdramatic since it's a bit of a sudden shift from mostly okay to suicidal. but the thing is that up until this point, neil has just been doing a very good job at hiding that something is wrong.
my interpretation of the movie has always been that he'd struggled with some form of depression as well as dealing with some amount of suicidal ideation before the movie and had just generally been good at masking it. during the events of the movie he is the happiest he has ever been because of the combination of the poets, acting, and keating. so when at the end of the play his father suddenly takes away all three, and his options are either to confront his father (something that he feels is impossible to do- even if it technically isn't, the fear he has surrounding it of his father listening but not caring, or making things worse than the are, or anything else, prevents him from doing it) or suffer through 10 years of medical school away from anything he actually cares about, he decides to remove himself from the situation entirely instead.
(theres something about the way his suicide is framed within the movie where in some fucked up way his suicide more than anything else is his carpe diem. he's seizing control of his life in the only way he is physically capable of anymore)
neil's suicide isn't rational but that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense or that he's overdramatic. just because logically waiting out the 10 years until he's away from his dad or leaving as soon as he graduates high school or turns 18 or whatever it is is a better option doesn't mean that 1. he'd have the idea to run away early or more importantly think it doable (he tries so hard to not directly disobey his father the whole movie and after doing it one time is now stuck in This situation, additionally, while this is the 50's and in general shit costed less/jobs were easier to get/etc. he is financially dependent on his father and running away without any support is not the smartest decision) and 2. that he'd be physically capable of enduring the 10 years. because 10 years is a long time Especially if it's 10 years studying to become a doctor, something that is both generally difficult and also something he Doesn't Want To Do. and so the sudden switch from happiest time of his life to suicidal throws people off and they don't understand why he wouldn't have done any of the other options that they thing are the logical ones but to him probably didn't seem physically possible.
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