prompt: dialogue 42, lestappen
THE WAY I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS PROMPT THE MOMENT I READ IT AND YOU'VE JUST GIVEN IT TO ME ON A SILVER PLATTER I. also yes it has been roughly an entire twenty seven thousand bagels since you sent this ask but i like bagels so i'll happily take them all.
anyway. [coughs.] yes. okay i've completely butchered this one but hooha who cares (at least, i hope you don't [winces]).
prompt: "Touch me again, and I'm pushing you off the bed."
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"Careful," says Charles, reaching out to grip Max by the foot and drag him back from death's edge for the fifth time.
Max shakes him off immediately with a wet huff. "Touch me again," he sniffs grumpily, "and I am pushing you off the bed."
It is meant to be threatening. Charles grips the duvet a little higher, bites it to keep his laughter from further angering Max. There is a grunt, a face peeking out from under its arms with glaring creases and an expression of sincerely Put Out.
There has never, thinks Charles only a little delightfully, existed anything cuter.
Aloud, he huffs. "Fine," he says with a wave of his shoulders. "Roll off the bed and die for all I care. Mind if I?"
Max shrugs. Somewhat.
Charles turns over and flicks off the bedside lamp. In darkness and the fabric of his pillow, he lets a grin finally open his teeth to the cold air, burrows deeper within the covers. Beside him, Max is shuffling around too and the mattress dips occasionally.
"Still cold?" asks Charles after a minute of this.
"Fuck off," mutters Max.
The face-breaking smile never leaving his lips, Charles lets his eyes fall shut. And then, despite the sporadic noisy movement just a few inches away, starts to feel himself drift off. Scaly dreams paint themselves bright, snowy caps and steering wheels.
He wakes to something small and dry flicking against his cheek.
Half-asleep, Charles twists around and lifts his T-shirt. Ice drips its way right onto his chest within the millisecond in little patters, and Charles grins dopily down at Max's dark grumping eyes when they peek out from under his collar.
"So cute," he teases.
Max's forked tongue nearly stabs his eye out. "Shut the fuck up."
With a happy hum, Charles settles back into sleep to the tickle of Max's little lizard tail curling around his belly button.
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"scythes are impractical as a weapon" ok but does anything else have the Cunt. i think not
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my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.
it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.
it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords
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Every time there's a food recall that spreads from one company to the next, even from generic brands that are unique to the store selling them, it makes me realize the illusion of choice under capitalism hyped up by conservatives is a bunch of bullshit.
Oh and uh, don't drink apple juice for a while. Arsenic. And it's more than just Aldi and Walmart
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I think we should bring back that thing everyone did in 2014 where you badly photoshop two characters from entirely different media together to look like they’re in love. This is my proposal for doc ock x glados please consider
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when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance
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