#and it'll hit again. for no reason. and you get to go through multiple days of being bedbound feeling like you've caught the worst flu of yo

[rubiesintherough]

.

[lilacstarx]

Unread Letters To The Emperor

SERIES MASTERLIST

Emperor Blade (Yingxing) x Empress Reader

Chapter two: The Bottom

Word Count: 1312

WARNINGS: mentions of vomiting, ALOT OF TIMESKIP, reversing time, making a deal/gamble, death!, reader is describe “you” in this fanfic, reader’s parents doesn’t have a name here, OOC, again your responsible of what you read (also scalegorge is in its prime)

The night was cold, an uproar of thunder could be heard from afar, but that wasn't the main focus. Blade was sprinting around Scalegorge looking for one person.

Dan feng.

He was led to a room where guests and visitors are entertained, but instead of sitting, he paced about the room.

Reading the rest of the diary felt like he had been hurt right from the heart. What made his fury rise was the letters.

Why did you exchange letters with Jingliu, and why are there multiples, each being sent to a different place?

Infact how did you know the grandmaster.

—Letter sent: two

Should I refer to you as Grandmaster or Lady Jing Liu? Anyway, I questioned a few people who you are, and some shared a pretty disastrous review about you, but who cares, I'd like to know you myself.

I am sure there is a reason why you came up to me, and I interpreted your letter. I look forward to meeting you in a better setting.

-Letter sent: five

I apologize for the delayed response, Lady Jing Liu. Things have been stressful here at the castle; how are you doing?

I'd certainly like to send you some tea made from the herbs I've been growing. I'm hopeful it'll help with the mara.

——

Only two letters remained in your diary, while the rest are lost, including letters from Jingliu.

A twinge of shame rushes through him; if he knew you and paid attention to you, he may have known the things you do.

"Lost in paradise, your highness?" A voice interrupts his thoughts, a voice that claims that I told you so

“Its rather late at night”

“Can you reverse the time?”

There was a moment of silence between the two. Blade was just a few inches away, his face full of guilt. 

"Take anything, my empire, the money, my soul, just bring her back into my life" the emperor broke down, perhaps caused by grief.

The Vidyadhara could only stare at the emperor; in truth, he wasn't surprised, and Dan Feng felt pity for you. He shared a couple cups of tea with you, observed as your eyes shone brightly at the aroma, and gently thanked him for bringing flowers for you.

The emperor did not deserve you; he may have been friends with you since early years, but he will not tolerate the things he has put you through.

“Had a change of heart, your majesty?” 

"I want her back, you heard it the first time" the emperor whispered yelled, peering through the vidyadhara.

Dan Feng groaned and moved closer to the emperor, "Your wish was granted the moment you stepped here, but I will not tell you what I took from you”

The rain poured heavily, hitting the window blade seemed like he plunged into an unending abyss. That was the very last thing he saw.

He groaned as the sunlight shined on his face. Blade rose up and looked around the room, familiarizing himself and attempting to remember the year.

Looking at the room and the design, he chuckled to himself. What could go wrong with meeting you sooner, right?

After all, he learned.

———

Your father burst open the dining hall door, making you and your mother jump in surprise, a sweat sliding on his side of the forehead.

"Father, are you okay?" You looked like you saw a Ghost" you asked, uncertain of what was going to happen.

Your mother frowned, ordering the maid to get her husband a glass of water while making her way to your father to settle him down.

“Ready to speak your mind, husband? ”

Your father looks horrified with a letter in his hand: “The Emperor requested that our daughter be his wife." 

The room fell into deep silence. The clock ticking felt like it was mocking you, asking you to count your days until arriving in hell.

It was no secret that the royal family was strict and possibly toxic because it was formerly ruled by a tyrant, as you learned from your teacher.

What could the emperor possibly want from you, and what was his deal in choosing a bride from a foreign planet?

You cleared your throat, removed the napkin from your lap, and approached your father, "What was his highness's reason?"" You asked, seeking to find out the reason for it.

As far as you can remember, you haven't attended any parties, left the planet, or done anything that would make you stand out to the nobles, so how could he know you?

The last thing you remember is your father securing a business deal months ago, but it failed due to canceled meetings and transactions that did not include you, and your father was a professional businessman.

"That's it, my child" your father sighed, touching his temples as a headache seized him, "it just said he wanted to meet you”

"Then it must be a scam" your mother tried to lighten the situation, hoping for the best that this was only a nightmare.

"It's not it had the emperor's seal it was personally delivered to me earlier by the general jing yuan” your father cried out, reaching out your hand caressing patterns from your hand to reassure you and cherishing your warm hands.

“Father i am willing to take the chance-“

Your mother cuts you off, telling you that it can be a major decision and that you don't have to feel rushed. "We will find a way to-"

"Mother" you said, focusing into her eyes, "if we refuse, who knows what will happen? Can we genuinely run from the hunt?"

"I understand it's a crucial step, but what about the blood and sweat that father worked for?" You claimed that it was a difficult decision, but it could also help your family and join into the side of the alliance.

For that, you're ready to take the initiative. "Besides, if he doesn't pick me, it was worth a shot, and we'll still benefit from it”

"My dear, what is the point if we forfeit? I did this for you because I want my daughter to be free. Getting involved with high-class individuals is another ruckus.

"Father, believe me with this one. What could go wrong?"

———

The xianzhou loufu appears unsettling however a familiar air hits you as if you've been here before. Could it be merely the vibe of the place that feels cozy due to the old style?

Nonetheless, you shrugged it off, following the handmaid who had been waiting for your arrival and accompanied you throughout your stay.

She brought you to the garden, which was lovely. You had a sight of a unique plant, presuming your vision saw the proper thing and did not betray you, but who wouldn't.

The garden was filled with rows of roses and a fountain. It was huge and you could definitely get lost in it. You shook off your thoughts, focused on your walking.

And then there he was, the emperor at the courtyard, drinking tea and listening to the birds chirping. For a moment, your body froze just by looking at him.

A wave of Deja vu

What was worse, a shudder ran up your spine, hands sweating as the handmaid pulled the chair for you to sit on. You bowed your head to the emperor, who was studying your movement like a hawk, before thanking the maid.

She then bowed again before leaving the two of you, with the cloud nights following behind her, leaving you and the emperor in privacy.

Your hands were quivering, and a feeling of sickness seized you, making you want to vomit and run away.

You repeated deep breaths at your head before finally making eye contact with the the emperor who was already eyeing you.

This was gonna be a long day.

[atom-writings]

Summer time! May I ask what the axis (Prussia and Romano) have planned for the beach with their s/o versus the reality of the trip? 😂

Oh, to make this more fun I want this to be a group trip.

Happy Summer! ☀️

hetalia axis on a group beach trip with their s/o

1.1k words ~ gender neutral headcanons

tw: they think ur hot. lol. thats it.

a/n: since this is my last weekend of summer its a perfect time to do this :sobsobsob: sorry anon

Italy

Expectation

There'll be plenty of pretty girls for him to flirt with! And more importantly, one VERY pretty person that he's gonna flirt with the most.

Hopefully, this time, he won't put one foot in the water and immediately shriek about how freezing it is.

He'll spend as much time with you as he does with his friends! Plus, now you can be closer to them! Hooray!

Maybe he'll get a little bit of a workout. He's not a big swimmer, but he'll try his hardest, just to impress you.

Reality

He'll spend a little too much time trying to get Kiku to get out of his shell. If you suggest that maybe he just doesn't want to... Feliciano is taking it as a personal challenge.

He doesn't get a lot of swimming done. Just enough to balance out the ice cream he got for the two of you.

He ends up teasing Ludwig a lot about how girls are staring at him-

He usually only gets hit by Romano twice! (To be fair, he was totally asking for it.)

He'll drool over you for an... uncomfortable amount of time. Luckily, he knows how to be subtle. His words are absolutely NOT subtle though!

If no one knew you were dating him before, they will now.

He cannot stop kissing you.

He can't help it, ok? You're just too cute in that swimsuit!

Germany

Expectation

 Everyone will enjoy his homecooked snacks and NOT spend money unnecessarily on some overpriced trash-

 He'll only have to remind you and everyone else to put on sunscreen once, and will actually do so when he tells them to.

Feliciano will not hit his head on the bottom of the pool diving again, and if he does, Ludwig will not be the one who has to drive him to the doctor. Again.

Nothing will go wrong. Okay, something will go wrong, but it'll be something minor... please...

Reality

All of his friends constantly interrupt the two of you and drag you off to do something stupid

He was so careful! But... he still got sunburned on his back.

Halfway through the trip, he's done swimming because he's tired of Romano splashing him in the face when he's trying to get some ACTUAL EXCERCISE-

One of the lifeguards is a stupid teenager and of course, Ludwig is the one who ends up saving some poor kid. (He did not have to volunteer! But you know, “If I didn't, who would?”)

Everyone stares because god lord that man is shredded to hell and back.

( Someone tries hitting on him and he's so uncomfortable he pretends he doesn't speak English and runs away)

He still has a lovely time, because you're around, and that's all he needs to be happy.

Japan

Expectation

No one will talk to him. No one will look at him. It will not be too hot and he won't have to swim. Please. Please do not make him swim.

Actually, you can talk to and look at him. Maybe Ludwig can. But only that.

Hopefully, he won't be forced to eat terrible beach food. He packed a sandwich. That's enough, right?

All he wants is to sit in the shade with you and read quietly, away from all the noise and heat of the beachfront.

Reality

Feliciano is gonna drag him in the water, and he'll trip. And fall. Into the water. And he'll be all wet for the rest of the day. And he'll hate it. So much.

Barely gets to read his book for multiple reasons.

Halfway through the trip, he's completely wiped out from the heat. You'll probably have to help with sunscreen, too.

Anytime any of you bring him down to the water, he tries to bring up a bunch of random facts to get you to stop.

(”Don't you know there's jellyfish in this country? I do not want to get stung!“ ”THIS IS A LAKE!“)

Kiku is much more suited for an arcade than a beach. He's too much of an old man for it. He's glad you're having fun, though.

Romano

Expectation

You'll pass out from how hot he is

He WON'T give in and eat any of the disgusting, insulting beach food.

He'll be able to completely ignore everyone but you, including the stupid, loud Germans!

The heat won't bother him. He's a Mediterranean country for god's sake, he's used to it being hot!

Hopefully, and he really prayed for this, he'll get a nice tan and not more sunburnt.

Feliciano won't interrupt his peace and relaxation. And if he does, he won't run away as Romano tries to smack him with a rolled-up magazine.

Reality

He ends up getting super insecure about his body in comparison to everyone else (Cough, cough, Ludwig and Gilbert,) and you'll have to coax him to not constantly wear his towel.

Any time not spent bothering others is spent with you while relaxing in a pool floatie.

He's so unused to exercise that he gets hungry and tired almost immediately.

He tries his best to ignore the other beachgoers in favour of you, but he can't stop getting annoyed by everyone else OR subtly flirting with others.

(He's just in a bad mood, he doesn't mean any of it.)

As soon as he sees you, he can't help staring. He just thinks you're so stunning when you're wearing so little...

Prussia

Expectation

He's gonna get so sunburnt that he's in pain for weeks.

You and him are gonna race in the water, and he's gonna WIN!

He'll finally get to show off his rockin' bod without being seen as a douchebag.

Plus, he'll get to see your body too. Even better.

(I'm telling you now, if your stomach spills out of your swimsuit, he's gonna get so attracted to you, he'll get dizzy and have to sit down.)

When (If) girls stare at him for being so hot, he'll get to show off that he's dating YOU, which in his opinion, you're even hotter than him. Then they'll get jealous and stop looking at him! (Not how that works, but whatever.)

Reality

He's gonna get so sunburnt that he's in pain for weeks. This is inevitable.

Gilbert will quickly become pretty bored just swimming, so you and him will build a nice big sand castle (He insists on making one replicating a castle he used to live in.)

He'll sneak up behind Ludwig and grab his ankles, swimming away before he can see him. Just for fun.

He's gonna ask you if you're drowning.  Regardless of what you say, he's picking you up bridal style and carrying you out of the water. Just because he thinks it'd be hot. (”I'm saving you, Liebling! I take kisses in payment-“)

Romano will hate it, but Gilbert definitely will try to force him down a slide if there are any.

[rowretro]

✧𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓✧

WARNINGS: Blood, gunshots, death

✧CHAPTER 6✧

✧tag list✧: @chlorinecake @nikisdubblchococake @enhypensccstarlight @strwberrydinosaur @sunghoonsbeautymark @strawbsj 

After a few weeks of staying indoors for days on end, Riki finally let y/n take the baby out. It's not because he didn't trust him or anything, there were just so many rival gangs now running after him. Riki really wanted to quit being a drug lord, maybe start a successful company that's harmless and no where near illegal, or a little dance class so he can lay low and do something he's passionate about.

But once you pick up a gun, it's hard to let it go. Y/n decided to take the baby to the park, as it seemed reasonable, she carried the littlun, as she walked through the garden areas "look there! it's a little squirrel!" y/n cooed, as she turned the baby to face the squirrel, the baby giggled, clapping. Riki smiled, following after. "You have any idea on what we're going to name him?... he's almost ten months old" Riki asked as Y/n thought.

She gasped as she turned to Riki "Let's name him Pluto! a small planet with a big heart~" Y/n smiled as Riki sighed "Sweetheart- you named a tree, a fish, a Heeseung and a stray cat Pluto when you ate that brownie- think of a real baby name" Riki explained as he laid down a picnic blanket. "You're one to talk, Riki Jackson, Rizziki, Junior Riki-" Y/n started listing as Riki stuffed a marshmallow in her mouth.

"You know the view here is so pretty... it feels like its been forever since we've been out-" Riki blurted as Y/n was choking on the marshmallow, somehow swallowing it down "Lawd- why did you get the massive ones- and why'd you shove it in my mouth while I was talking?..." The girl asked with a frown as Riki mischievously giggled.

"What do you think about the name Kyle?... baby Kyle?" Y/n asked as she smiled at the baby, the baby babbling back. Riki turned to face the duo, "You know what, Kyle sounds good, it's cute, and when he grows up it'll be cool too... Come to daddy baby Kyle~" Riki smiled, as Y/n placed the baby on the picnic blanket, Riki watched as the little one crawled to him, with a little help from y/n.

Smiling, Riki took the baby in his arms, rubbing his nose against the baby's nose, "My little Kyle~" Riki cooed as the baby yanked his hair. "Aaah- Kyle- Kyleee- Something tells me you're going to be a trouble maker-" Riki whined softly, as the baby giggled at his reaction, pulling his hair a little more As y/n giggled.

After a fairly long day, Riki drove the three home, the baby asleep in the back with y/n beside. The silent drive was interrupted with multiple, ear-piercing gunshots, making y/n jolt, Riki's eyes widen as he cursed under his breath, to their luck the car and windows were bullet proof. Those motherfuckers were everywhere. swerving every obstacle in their way, and driving off the road, taking a shortcut into a much more secure, area.

Once Riki finally lost them, he turned behind to see Y/n was perfectly fine, the baby still peacefully sleeping. In fact the baby was awfully silent the through out the whole commotion. That's when it hit them. Y/n checked the baby's pulse. "Fuck- Riki there's no pulse!" Y/n exclaimed. The girl lying the baby down on a safer surface as Riki called the doctor.

Sunoo immediately picked up, hearing Riki's hysterical voice as he explained the events. "Riki, stay calm okay? just listen to my instructions" Sunoo calmly instructed Riki to do CPR on the baby... but not a single change, he then changed to mouth-to-mouth, and yet again no change...

Not stopping, He continued, never giving up "Come on baby Kyle, you can't leave me, I didn't take you to lose you like this please." Riki begged, as he continued giving CPR to the littlun. The sudden sound of a baby crying finally reached their ears, the tears leaving Riki's eyes, and hitting the baby as y/n snuggled the baby close to herself, crying in relief "Congratulations Riki you have given birth!" Sunoo joked, despite the situation, but Riki didn't care to get mad or react, he was just so relieved to have his son.

Not wasting any time, y/n gently slipped the headphones on the baby, Riki engulfing the both of them in a loving hug. "God those fuckers..." Riki mumbled, as his fists clenched. Y/n softly held his fist, the anger that was coursing through his veins disappearing almost instantly as his teary eyes met her glossy ones, "Riki... you saw what happened... i-if we fight back- t-they'll only aim for the baby, they know your weakness now Ki... I didn't want to say this before, but maybe this is a sign Ki... you need to stop getting blood on your hands" the girl explained, her eyes hopeful as Riki pulled away from her, slowly.

She was right... If he continued, things will only get worse, but if he stopped, the consequences that follow his past actions would at least be lessened. Riki kissed her forehead, and the baby's forehead, staring back into her eyes as he held her hand. "For us, and our future... I will let go of all the mafia ties..." Riki sincerely told her. He's already seen a pure, little soul lose his everything and almost his own life, he's seen his mother get killed by his own father, and he's even subjected his dear y/n to all this danger. All of this NEEDED to stop...

✧𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓✧

[bouquet-of-clumsy-words]

23, 17, 16 & 13! ✨

Do you believe in aliens? Yes, Tom Delonge would be disappointed if i said no also Want any piercings? Where? Ooooh I think i've said before but lmao once again, I really wanted aa lip piercing like tom delonge Want any tattoos? What of? I mean Ihave 5 currently but ofc I want more, they're kind of addictive. I still really want a tattoo of a moon, and defo something to remember my cats from, obviously with Nugget and Jasper I was tempted to get a "Nugget" of "Jasper" but idk how well it'll.. translate into a tattoo per say. I still really want an Asthenia style tattoo too ofc and there's like SO MANY, like okay hang on i'll write them all. So like a tattoo of some eyes for multiple reasons, there's a Twenty one Pilots lyric along the lines of "No one looks up anymore, because you might get a rain drop in your eye"

No one looks up anymore 'Cause you might get a raindrop in your eye And Heaven forbid they see you cry As we fall in line then blink (ofc??) "Tears from eyes worn, cold and sad" So it's like, idk how to incorporate them together or do I simply just get two set of eyes? "Tidal waves they Rip right through me Tears from eyes worn Cold and sad Pick me up now I need you so bad" There's sorta another one from a Holding Absence song which I *COULD* tie in, where the lyrics are like, "I've got clouds, you got Halos" "I've got clouds, you've got halos Shut my eyes, where do the days go? So tired from making the climb That I can't enjoy the view, I'm begging you Do something, say something I'm fading, I'm losing The one thing I can't afford to lose" idk those lyrics hit a bit in the feels yknow, like struggling then when you get there you're so tired. Then back on the Asthenia kinda space vibe ~ like, there's another song by Boston Manor - Laika so like Asthenia is v much like left out in space vibes v similar and like the lyrics;

Last night, it came as a picture With a good reason, a warning sign This place is void of all passion If you can imagine, it's easy if you try Believe me, I failed this effort I wrote a reminder this wasn't a vision This time, where are you, Houston? Is somebody out there? Will somebody listen?

Should I go back, should I go back, should I? I feel alone and tired Should I go back, should I go back, should I? I hope I won't forget you

Then Boston manor Laika is; I'm so sorry that I'm leaving You so little to believe in Just tell me, that you're free, of your woes and of me There's weather more reliable than me

Idk the, there's Weather more reliable than me slaps as a lyric also so idk man, so many ideas and thoughts, this is like a HANDFUL OF THEM. Sorry I got massively side tracked on this Question Fears? oh my god, so so many. SO MANY HORRORS. Idk, I guess growing old and regretting life and not doing stuff? making similar mistakes to what my parents did in essence.

[britswriting]

Desire (44)

Desire Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Halfass edited 'cause I'm tired, sorry

A/N: Colby's POV again? Who am I?

*Colby's POV*

"What?" My brow furrowed, Leighton flipping her phone around to show me a photo of Gemma and I from her birthday; on multiple fans twitter feeds. "What do you want me to do? I can send out a tweet to ask people to stop sharing it.. but it's already out" I frowned, Leighton's face being extremely hard to read.

"I didn't want her face out there at all, Colby. It's incredibly dangerous!" She exclaimed, her forehead getting frown lines as her eyes narrowed at me, her lips pursed, turning her phone back towards her, scrolling through her messages with her sister.

"Please don't let this ruin your birthday" I softly begged, worry washing over me.

"Just frustrated" She grumbled, setting her phone down and looking back over at me.

"I'm sorry" I apologized, not knowing how to fix this. "It was bound to happen" I muttered, earning a harsh glare in return, Leighton hissing, "Was it Colby? Was it really?" making me feel even worse, knowing this was my fault.

I pulled up my phone, opening twitter and searching Colby and G, hoping they didn't know her name, a breath of relief escaping my chapped lips as I saw no one mentioning Gemma's name in their feeds.

I started drafting a tweet, showing my phone to Leighton for approval.

"Do you think that will really help?" She worried.

"We can try" I shrugged, my eyes scanning over the tweet one more time before hitting post.

Colby Brock: Please stop reposting the leaked photo of me with the young child. Respect the privacy of the baby's parents not wanting her face shown online. If you have reposted it, please delete it and or cover the child's face with an emoji. Those who don't will be blocked.

I groaned, setting my phone down.

I wish I could have more privacy.

There was always something happening online that I couldn't control. Over the past couple years I've started to get used to it, but something about a photo of Gemma being leaked really got on my nerves.

I couldn't get the adorable photo out of my head, and how damaging it could be to not only Leighton and I's relationship as friends, let alone possibly a couple, but my relationship with Gemma.

Gemma isn't my daughter. She isn't someone I have any rights over. If Leighton thought this was going to be a problem, she could revoke my rights of taking Gemma out during the day or letting Gemma spend time over at our house.

We've been so incredibly careful about making sure her face is never seen, that it irks me that her face has been leaked, and it isn't even our fault.

 It pisses me off that they don't think about the repercussions it'll have. Clearly I've posted photos with Gemma before, but we always cover her face. We always mark it, hide it, or even just have her back facing the camera, so what makes them think it would be okay to post a leaked image of her on Twitter? 

I understood it was a new, rare, photo of me... but would they really risk a child's life for that? It's one thing to save it to your gallery, but it's another to repost it and run the risk of ruining lives.

Do people not understand there are harmful people in this world who would love to hurt children? To kidnap them, or worse things? It isn't just "I want to keep her cute face to myself" it boils down to her safety. The same reason you don't share your address or phone number. That you don't show the front of your house, or windows that can give too much information at where you're located. The reason Sam, Kat and I pre-filmed things for our social media whilst we were in Italy.

I hated that our fans never thought about the effects of their actions. For all I know, this could ruin all of Leighton and I's work of getting back together, and that pissed me off.

I hated when they meddled in my life so much that it could affect us like this, let alone if some stalker actually hurt Gemma.

I don't think I'd ever forgive myself if that happened.

"Colby? Are you okay? Your face is red" Leighton's hand touched mine, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head, taking a refreshing breath of air, shutting my phone off.

"I just hate that this has happened. I don't know how to fix it either and it's pissing me off, sorry" I apologized, leaning back against the chair, her touch slipping from my own.

"I thought you said we shouldn't let this ruin my birthday?" Leighton gave me a small smile, tugging at my stupid little heart that can't get the fuck over her.

"I'm sorry.. I just.. I'm thinking about getting a lawyer" I admitted, her eyes widening.

"What?! What are you going to do? Sue some twelve year old's? Colby!" She gasped, her jaw extended as her posture straightened.

"No. But we could copyright the image. Get it taken down. It wouldn't remove it completely off the internet, but it's a start" I informed her, pulling my phone back out and googling how much it takes to copyright a photo. "It's about 65 dollars" I finished, scrolling through some of the links.

"You want to copyright your photo with Gemma?"

"Why wouldn't I? You think I want her face out there? Leighton, we're on the same page about this. I don't know how that photo got out there, but I don't like it just as much as you don't. — Would a lawyer even help? Hold on" I mumbled, typing a new google search. "There's a lot of gray area.." I sighed, my eyes scanning a few quick searches. "It isn't like child phonography or anything.. so you can't do too much about it" 

"Do you think something got hacked?" She asked, her worry worsening. 

"I don't know" I regrettably admitted, wishing I could just snap my fingers and solve this problem.

Annoyingly we spent the rest of our time researching legal ways we could solve this problem, Leighton continuing her search on our drive back to her apartment.

"Do you think they have more?" She spoke for the first time in probably 10 minutes, making me jump a little, caught in my own thoughts.

"I hope not. It's not like we have any of them posted somewhere. They're all in our camera rolls"

"But do you have them backed up? Like to the cloud or something that people can hack?"

I shook my head.

"I don't understand! I'm getting more worried and frustrated because I can't figure out how they got the photo in the first place!"

"I know" I nodded in agreement, knowing Leighton was about to explode, bracing myself for the change of volume in the car.

"It pisses me off that people think they can just post her face like that! Yeah she's fucking cute, but I don't need people spreading her face everywhere! See, this is why I don't have a fucking Instagram! I'm sick and tired of people thinking they're some privilege fuck who can post my one year old's face on their social media account!" She started, my head nodding with agreement, not wanting to interrupt her. "What if something happens? Like her face is used for fake rewards, like those dogs on Instagram or whatever!" She fretted, a small laugh slipping past my lips. "Colby! It's not funny! What if they do that?! Or what if she's used for like someone's dumb ad!"

"I doubt that would happen, Leigh" I flashed her a quick smile, glancing towards her before looking back at the road, slowing down for a stop sign.

"You don't know! She's my baby!" She cried out, "I don't want her face out there for the world to critique! She has a hard enough time with her lame excuse of a grandmother! I don't need the world pointing out whatever flaws they seem to always find! I don't want her to grow up and come across these accounts from 10 years ago commenting on if she's cute or not as a one year old! She can barely talk, Colby! She should not be on Twitter, or Instagram, or Snapchat! You know, people on your tweet figured out who she is. That she's G, my little girl. Do you know how scary that is? To know they now know what my daughter's face looks like? I mean the video at the ice rink was bad enough.. now her face? Can we ever catch a fucking break? I mean really. It's always one thing after another!" She vented, her nails digging into the console. "I don't understand what goes through these peoples minds! Clearly they don't have to worry about being stalked, or their kid being kidnapped, or people making fake accounts under her name!" She continued.

I listened to Leighton vent the whole car ride home, even telling me to be careful about my backgrounds of photos I share, not wanting their go to locations leaked, acting like this was my first time on social media. 

Instead of correcting her, I just agreed, not feeling like pulling out unnecessary sneaking comments, wanting to salvage whatever is left of what is happening between us.

"Want to come in? Gemma should be getting up from her nap now, hungry for dinner" Leigh smiled, collecting her phone and soda, unclipping her seat belt whilst I unlocked the doors.

"Sure" I smiled, "I could always go from some Gemma snuggles. She's so cute when she gets up" 

We made our way to her door, Leighton twisting her key and swinging the door open.

We both kicked off our shoes, tossing our jacket's into the closet.

"Leigh?" I heard Landon call out, Leighton smiling.

"It's Colby and I!" She called back, heading straight into the living room.

"Hey Colby!" Landon greeted us when we came into view.

I immediately was drawn to the makeup on his face, taken off guard by the look.

"Date tonight?" Leighton questions, setting her phone on the coffee table.

"No. Just wanted to practice" He shrugged, grabbing a different makeup brush.

"Landon's been experimenting more with his style. New boyfriend, new him I guess" She laughed with a shrug.

"New boyfriend?" I questioned, Landon nodding with a grin.

"His name is Xander, we met back in January" he boasted, making me feel happy for him.

"Well I hope it works out, you deserve the best man" I nodded, Landon passing me a small smile, focusing back on the mirror in front of him.

"You can go wake G if you want, I need to get dinner out of the fridge to start preparing" Leighton said, her hand brushing my arm as she slid past me.

I slowly twisted her doorknob, the sound of the white noise machine filling my ears, stumbling into the dark of her room.

I smiled at her laying on her tummy, her hand pressed against her face, her eyes open just laying there.

"Morning G" I whispered, watching the grin appear on her face, "Want to get up and hang out with Coco?" I asked, my hand rubbing her back, Gemma pushing herself off the mattress, wobbling a little. "Sleepy little bug, aren't you" I chuckled, G now standing at her crib, hands slapping the top of her rails.

A/N: Envision her standing in her crib, and not on a patio lol

"Coco!" She giggled, her hands reaching up for me, jumping on the bouncy mattress, giving herself some air.

I lifted her up, Gemma snuggling into the crook of my neck.

"Sleep well G?" I asked quietly, walking over to turn off the white noise machine before swaying slightly with her, rubbing her back. 

I stayed for a minute or so before placing her on the floor, grabbing her diapers since she was a little too wiggly for the changing table.

With a fresh diaper and a bright smile she wobbled down the hallway, a smile on my face as she made her way towards the common area, immediately getting distracted by Landon's makeup.

There was something so comforting about being in their shared space, watching my two girls just do their thing. 

We thankfully ended up getting the image copyrighted, and taken down from anywhere we could.

Later that week Gemma and Leighton came over, and one thing led to another and we wound up playing Hide and Seek for the first time with Gemma.

Gemma, Leighton and I hid whilst Sam seeked. We tried to get Gemma to hide by herself, but she was extremely apprehensive and clingy, so here I was, hiding in a fairly roomy cupboard with Gemma, my finger brushing my lips as I tried to quiet her giggles.

"Shh, Uncle Sam is gonna find us if you're noisy!" I whisper yelled, a grin cracking on my face when her finder held up to her lips, shushing me. "You little monkey!" I laughed, Gemma squeaking when Sam whipped open the cupboard going "Boo! I found you!" Gemma laughed and clapped, reaching out for him, which he happily obliged too, giving her a quick cuddle.

"Want help me find momma?" Sam asked her, Gemma giggling as she practically ran down the hallway.

This to me was home, and damn did it feel good.

This empty house was filled with laughter from the people I loved, and to me that was home. 

I was exactly where I wanted to be.

"You found me!" Leighton laughed, Gemma squeaking as she jumped around, tumbling onto her knees, Sam quickly picking her up and telling her she was alright, Gemma thankfully laughing instead of crying.

When it was Gemma's turn to find us, Sam helped her keep focus, since her attention span was basically nonexistent at times.

Sam ended up "yelling" at me for my hiding spot. Apparently hiding up high wasn't acceptable when the seeker is barely two feet tall.

Leighton's been around a lot more, filling this house with her gorgeous presence, Gemma tagging along, making a game out of climbing the stairs and running into my bedroom, squealing when they'd arrive.

I was starting to hate the fact that I was moving. I was going to miss this.

"Look at our big girl!" Sam cheered, Gemma clapping and smiling as she tried a new food, loving the mac and cheese Sam had gotten.

She was quite literally tasting the world now, so thankfully everything was packed up and there wasn't anything harmful laying around our soon to be old house.

"I can't believe you guys are moving next week" Leighton sighed, leaning against the marble countertop.

"We're going to come back as often as we can. Can't miss our little girl growing up!" Sam cooed at Gemma, her mac and cheese grin making us laugh.

She was covered in melted cheese.

"Hey guys!" Kat greeted, having gotten back from a dance rehearsal.

"Gem, can you say hi?" Leigh coaxed, Gemma waving.

"Hi G, you have yummy pasta?" Kat cooed, knowing better than to swipe a piece, even though it was originally Sam's lunch.

Sam, Leighton and I sat on the couch whilst Katrina played with Gemma on the floor, Leighton and Sam playing Mario Kart, their exclamations of winning or losing carrying through the house to the point that Gemma was even getting into it.

I filmed a video for my story of Gemma screaming "GO GO GO" at the TV, Kat and I laughing at her encouragement, posting it to the caption with "Starting them young" tagging Sam and Kat at the bottom. 

Moving day was bittersweet.

Leighton came over that night and we did one last pizza night together, Gemma falling asleep on my chest whilst we laid on the couch, watching Netflix, made it extremely tempting to unpack all of our boxes, and take down the For Sale sign.

"I can't believe you're leaving us" Leigh sighed, her head resting against my knee, sat on the ground with her back against the front of the couch, my foot propped under my knee to keep Gemma in a comfortable position.

"I don't want to anymore" I confessed, trying to keep my body from leaping off this couch and calling off the entire move.

"It'll be good. You're clearly moving for a reason. We all deserve new life experiences. I hope it's the right call for you guys" Leighton tossed me a supportive smile, making this hurt even worse.

Getting settled in Nevada was weird. 

it was weird to know that Gemma and Leighton wouldn't be popping by at any given moment, and that we were back to being a phone call away, that was if we picked up.

I've been trying to get a hold of Leighton all week, wanting to check up on how things were going, but I haven't gotten any responses.

It came to a point where I texted Lexi, asking if she knew anything, only to find out Gabe had moved back to California with Zara for a while, and they were starting to figure out custody.

I instantly regretted moving, wishing I could be by her side as she went through this.. but I knew no matter what, she needed to do this alone.

August crept up on us like no tomorrow. 

I don't think Nate and I have ever whisked through an airport so fast before, and to make it worse we got stopped by a couple of fans wanting a conversation and photo when all I wanted was to wrap my arms around the two people I missed the most.

Nate rang her parents' doorbell, anxious anticipation cursing through my veins as I waited for the door to prop open.

The second Molly's ear piercing shriek rang through the home, I knew we were in for some sort of chaos.

"YOU BROUGHT NATE HERE?!" She yelled in our face, Lexi having opened the door to greet us. "I picked a good day to come to the Fox household!"

"Ignore her" Lexi sighed, letting us into the home, Molly glaring at Lexi.

"I miss when you shared the excitement" Molly grumbled, Lexi rolling her eyes.

"I got used to seeing him around. He follows my sister like a loss puppy"

My cheeks reddened at the words, Nate smirking, his elbow playfully hitting me in the ribs.

"Gemma! Coco's here!" Lexi called out, Nate passing me a confusing look.

"Coco?" He questioned, but before I could answer, the energetic toddler was rounding the corner, crashing into my legs.

"Coco!" She squealed, my tone matching hers as I greeted "Gem Gem!" my hand pressing into her back.

"G, I'd like you to meet someone" I spoke up, getting her attention, her hands still wrapped around my legs as she cranked her neck to look at me. "Gemma, this is Coco's best friend, Nate" I motioned to the strange male next to me, Gemma's eyebrows furrowed as she looked over at Nate who gave her a friendly smile and wave.

"Hi Gemma" He greeted, her name cracking a smile onto her face.

"Coco!" She giggled, asking to be held, which I happily granted.

Nate tried to talk with her a bit, but she just cuddled into my chest, the five of us walking further into the home, finding Logan, Harper and Nova in the living room.

"Hey man!" Logan greeted, as I leaned over the back of the couch, plopping Gemma onto the soft cushion.

"Hey! How's it going?" I asked, Logan's hand rubbing soothing circles on Harper's back.

"Going good, how about you?" he returned, keeping the small talk up.

"Same old same old, have you seen Leighton?"

"Bathroom"

"Ah" 

We both chuckled and I introduced Nate since it had been a while since he's been around, Logan and Nate immediately falling into some sort of conversation about traveling.

"Leighton just went into the art room" Molly informed me, and I nodded, stepping around her since she was standing fairly close to me, definitely invading my bubble.

Gemma immediately hopped off the couch, following me up the stairs, her hand holding each spindle as she slowly walked up the steps, taking us probably three minutes to go up probably twenty stairs.

"Hi mama!" Gemma spoke, a smile on her face as I pushed open the door, instantly running to where Leighton was sitting, standing on her tip-toes as she tried to see what her mother was doing.

"Hi baby, wanna see?" She hummed, picking Gemma up and placing her on her left knee, showing her the drawings she had scattered across the desk. "This one papa drew, see, it's you and mommy! From when Gemma was born" She smiled, showing the black and white pencil drawing, Gemma's eyes full of awe and wonder.

"And look, this one mommy did of Gem when Gemma was a few months old" She showed another photo, this one having used a pen.

"Wanna see one of Coco?" Leighton asked, catching my attention.

"You have one of me?" I questioned, this being brand new information to me.

Leighton nodded, shuffling through a few papers before pulling out a photo of me, showing Gemma.

This one was done with colored pencil, surprising me.

"That photo looks familiar" I teased, Leighton blushing.

"I didn't stalk your Instagram for no reason that day" She spoke, chuckling softly, kissing Gemma's cheek quickly, making a "Mhm-wah" sound, Gemma giggling and wiping her cheek, Leighton gasping. "Did you just wipe away mommy's kisses?!" 

Gemma giggled, knowing exactly what she was doing which made me choke on a held back laugh, my lips rolling to contain the noise as Leighton's jaw dropped.

"Don't wipe mommy's love away! That's rude!" She softly reprimanded, joking before laying another sloppy kiss on the toddler's cheek, Gemma grinning as she shoved Leighton away. "Hey!" Leighton whined, frowning. "That's rude"

"Do you care if I post your work to my story?" I questioned, turning the piece of paper towards me, wanting to take a photo of her beautiful work.

"Uh.. sure. Just don't say it was me.." She spoke, nerves evident in her tone, moving a few papers away from Gemma.

"But you're so talented!"

"Colby, I don't want your fans knowing we're hanging out. Gemma's face has already leaked once. I'd like to keep whatever we are on the down low" 

I just sighed, taking the photo and writing "So talented😍🙌🏼" on the image, sharing it to my story.

"Knock knock, landshark!" Nate's voice interrupted, his knuckles hitting the wooden door before opening it, Leighton sending him a welcoming smile.

"Long time no see! How have you been?" She greeted, a slight dazed look in her eyes.

"Been hanging out with this loser" He pointed his thumb towards me, Leighton giggling with a nod.

"He tends to be a fan favorite in this household. Right Gem?" Leighton engaged with the one and a half year old, Gemma looking over at me, a smile brightening up her face as she said "Coco" in the sweetest voice I've ever heard, her arms stretching out towards me.

"It's weird to see you holding a kid dude" Nate spoke up, putting his weight on the left side of his body as he eyed me, taking in the sight.

"If you think that's weird, you should've seen him in labor and delivery! I'm shocked he stayed by my side" Leighton smiled softly at me, her face looking like a puppy dog with heart eyes.

"It's so weird to see you like.. with a family?" His eyes squinted, head tilting. "Like you're still that dumbass kid from Kansas to me you know? And now here you are in California with your own little family. I've never seen someone's parents so happy to see you" He joked, making me laugh, Gemma playing with the rings on my finger, picking up and dropping a few of my fingers one by one as she messed with my hand. "It's weird to see you grown up like this" He continued, Leighton watching the both of us with a tight lipped grin on her face, leaning on the palm of her hand.

"I mean time and time again I'm shown that family doesn't mean blood" I told him honestly, smiling down at Gemma who had now noticed my tattoos. 

"Coco?" She grabbed my arm, her fingers slightly pinching the black ink.

"Hm? My tattoos? Mommy has them too" I pointed at Leighton, her sleeve on show.

"Mama?" She questioned, her eyes now on Leighton's arm.

"I have tattoos on my arm, yes baby. You're just now noticing?" She teased, watching the concentrated look on Gemma's face as her eyes looked back down to my arm. "Hm?" She hummed, pointing at the tattoo I got for Sam. 

"That for Uncle Sam" I told her, loving how intrigued she was by the art on our arms.

"Mama?"

"Yes baby?"

She pointed at herself, confusing us.

"What baby?" Leighton asked again, Gemma frowning as she pointed at Leighton's arm. "What about it?"

She made some noises, Leighton encouraging her to talk before Gemma's little hand covered Leighton's rose, the size difference looking adorable.

"It's a rose baby" She smiled softly, Gemma's fingers crawling at her hand, Leighton wincing. "Careful Gem, Owies"

She frowned again, her hand laying flat against Leighton's knuckles.

The three of us stayed in this room for probably 10 minutes just letting Gemma look at our tattoos, laughing when she got overly excited about one of them, such as the butterfly on Nate's chest, or the wolf on my arm. Her eyes wide when Leighton said the "Gemma" tattoo on her collarbone was for her, almost seeming like she couldn't believe it.

There was something so effortless about moving around the Fox household. The way we all helped set up the table for dinner, shimmering around each other in the kitchen as we grabbed things out of draws, cupboards and the fridge to the way we freely went in and out the patio door, playing in the backyard with Gemma's toys, watching Harper and Gemma learn how to play together, and how we all lounged around the living room, conversing and watching TV together. It truly was a second home to me.

Nate and I met up with Leighton after work, everything feeling like a well oiled machine as we intertwined our routines.

I had a few business things to do here whilst I was in California, but somehow the four of us found ourselves surrounded by each other at the end of the night.

The weirdest was Friday evening, Nate and I had arrived at Leighton's apartment complex, Landon letting us in, only to not be greeted by the pitter patter of tiny feet.

"Where's Gems?" I asked immediately, scanning around the apartment, seeing her belongings scattered all over the place.

"With her dad" Leighton said, my body freezing.

"What?"

"Gabe get's her this weekend" She said, acting like it was no big deal as she continued folding some of Gemma's pajamas.

"Wait, like your custody thing?" I asked, Leighton nodding. "So he just gets her this weekend?" I questioned, confused.

"Yes. We share her. That's kind of the point of joint custody. She needs to get used to being around her dad" 

"I thought he was supposed to be in Med School for like ten years or something?"

"He's trying to be there for her, Colby. He's talking about transferring schools to be back here with her"

Oh.

I stayed quiet, trying to wrap my head around the fact that I now had to share Gemma with Gabe again.

Nate gave me a weird look, the apartment buzzer taking their attention off of me, Landon practically skipping to hit the intercom button, buzzing the stranger up.

"Did you come over to see Gemma or what?" Leighton asked, her voice having an accusatory undertone.

"Well yea. I came to see both of you. I got used to her little body slamming into my legs, hugging me" I frowned, almost feeling the ghost of the toddler's touch around my body, missing her little hugs.

"Sorry" She shrugged, setting a pair of pants into the laundry basket. "It's weird for me too.. but it'll be good for them. Gemma needs to know her dad. He hasn't done anything to not be allowed to see her." She stated, and I immediately felt my jaw tighten.

"How about that time he made you pour your breast milk down the sink, being cruel to you? You were vulnerable and he towered over you like a monster! What is he going to do when she cries? Turn up his music?" I scoffed, Leighton's face scrunching up in confusion as she looked over at me.

"Is that how you view him? A monster?" She asked, setting the folded washcloth in the basket, not picking up anything else, her full attention now on me.

"Oh come on! He's done some cruel things to you!" My voice raised, feeling my heart pick up it's pace.

"Whatever he's done to me, doesn't matter when it comes to my daughter. He has done nothing to make me worried about her in his care"

"You don't have the best judgment Leighton! He literally shared your fucking nudes around the school!" I exclaimed, Nate's eyes going wide as he stayed quiet.

"WE WERE SIXTEEN!"

"AND THAT MAKES IT OKAY?!"

"Colby, this was over 7 years ago! And that has nothing to do with him taking care of our daughter!" She glared, harshly pushing herself up off the sofa, brushing past me, my eyes following her as she walked down the hallway before turning her head to look at me, "Thanks for telling Nate that. You're a dick" She muttered, shutting her bedroom door behind her and I groaned, my head thrown back before I looked over at Nate.

"Dude, what the fuck just happened?" He asked breathlessly, turning to look down the hallway, a knock on the door making me freeze.

Shit.

Landon came out from his bedroom, glaring at me before opening the door, a random guy stood in the entryway.

"LEIGHTON, I'M HEADING OUT! I LOVE YOU!" He yelled, giving a slight wave at me before following the guy out.

I knocked on Leighton's door, softly begging for her to let me in, letting out a breath of relief when she opened the door.

"I'm sorry" I apologized immediately, Leighton laying back down on her bed, her foot tattoo catching my eye as she crossed one leg over the other, her knee bent as her foot pressed into the mattress, her hands folded on her stomach. "I know I have no right to say this, but I can't help but feel annoyed that Gemma get's to be with Gabe. He's done so much wrong to you Leighton. I've not only heard about it firsthand, but seen it. The things you've told me he's done, like sharing your nudes, and leaving you in jail.. not to mention ditching you when Gemma was born. He left you to raise her alone whilst he was across the country party. He literally passed out when you were delivering Gemma. There are so many things he's done that makes me annoyed that he gets to steal her away from me and I know I have no right. I'm not her father or whatever.. but it's just how I feel" I admitted, hating how her eyes were trained on the ceiling.

"You said I have bad judgment" She muttered and I mentally groaned, wanting to slap myself across the face.

"You having bad judgment doesn't make me love you any less" I told her, her eyes darting away from the ceiling to glare at me.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Genuinely, what do you want from me Leighton? Do you want fine dining and a bouquet of roses or do you want someone who will babysit your kid? What hat am I supposed to be wearing right now?" I snapped, Leighton pushing herself up, sitting criss-cross.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm tired of this song and dance!"

"Then stop doing it" She said like it was no big deal, my heart pinching at the idea of her not caring as much as I did.

"For fuck sake! If we both love each other then what is the problem? All your shit is logistics! Can you stop self sabotaging for one minute? Yes, I royally effed up when I said I think we should break up, I've apologized for that months ago! Let me off the damn hook! I want change. I want us to do couple shit and spend the night together. I want us to be together and every time I try you pull away, and then I tell you the reasons why I don't like your ex, and you back him up. Why can't you admit he's done shitty things to you? He fucking left you alone multiple times, yet you let him back into your life with the skip of a heartbeat, but I bend over fucking backwards for you, and all of a sudden I'm a dick?"

"If you wanted couple shit, why the fuck did you move away when I moved back?" She asked, her lips slightly swollen from her teeth tugging on it.

"Because you weren't ready! You're never fucking ready! I never thought I'd see the day where I was begging a girl to give me a chance! Do you know how low that fucking feels? Not to be a douche, but I could go to the club right now and probably go home with someone for the night, but here I am in your bedroom, begging you to understand me! To see where I come from, and not get pissed at me when I say your ex is a piece of shit. I'm not good at communicating, and I'm working on that, but you never give me a chance! You see one flaw in our relationship and leave" 

"He's not a piece of shit Colby" She argued back, my eyes rolling at the fact that that's all she clung onto from what I said.

"Do you love him?" I asked, catching her off guard.

"W-what?"

"Do you love him?" I repeated, her brow scrunching.

"No"

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean?"

"You keep defending his actions. You aren't holding him accountable for the shit he's done to you"

"I don't love him. I'm not in love with him" She corrected, frowning.

"You sure?" I questioned, Leighton's eyes narrowing as she asked, "Do you think I'm lying to you?"

"I don't know, are you?"

"No! What the fuck kind of question is that? What, one second you're perusing me and the next you're asking if I'm in love with my baby daddy? What the hell Colby!"

"It's the only logical reason for how you're defending him!"

"He's her father Colby!" She defended, yet again, pissing me off.

"You had the fucking nerve to call me a deadbeat dad, which I haven't fucking forgotten by the way, when he's out here fucking abandoning her! Everything you yelled in my face about how I come and go, HE DOES THAT!"

"He's not a deadbeat dad"

"There you fucking go again! You're defending his sorry ass, and for what? He fucking left you! He left you when Gemma was only two months old!"

"He came back for her" She shot back, raising an eyebrow at me. "Why the fuck are we fighting over my daughter anyway? Our joint custody doesn't concern you"

"Then what fucking concerns me huh?! What part of this relationship should I be concerned about? Because clearly caring about you and Gemma isn't my fucking concern. Fucking sorry for caring!" I snapped, my hands tossed in the air out of frustration.

"She deserves to know her father Colby" She spoke in a steady voice, holding her ground.

"He's a piece of shit who constantly leaves! Do you really want that to be her father figure?" I asked, feeling my chest rise and fall as I kept my eyes on her, hating how calm she looked when I was practically bubbling with anger.

"What do you want, Colby?" She asked, sounding defeated, her eyes scanning my face.

"To be a part of this! To be a unit!" I expressed, standing my ground and reminding myself of the different communication techniques I learned in therapy, a few of them going right out the window the second I raised my voice at her.

"We're not together Colby!" 

"And whose fault is that?" I snapped.

"YOURS!" She shouted, pointing at me and I groaned, leaning my head and back against her closed door.

"Loving you isn't hard, but communicating with you is impossible!" I muttered, my hand rubbing my face.

"You told me you didn't have any expectations" She said quietly, my eyes snapping open to look at her.

"I expected you to want those things too" I confessed, pushing myself off the door and walking over towards her, stopping at the end of her bed.

"I don't know how to want that" She said, her tongue wetting her lips as she bashfully looked away. "I don't know how to do this"

"How to do what?"

"This. Us. I want it so bad, but I keep fucking it up. I don't know how to work as a unit Colby. Since I was 16, it's been just me! My relationship with Gabe wasn't the best, I know that now.. but he's all I have to reference. Silas and I.. we didn't really do much but hang out. We never fought or had these ups and downs... Me trying, is this right here! Us fighting is me trying! I can't be better if you don't tell me what you want. I'm constantly busy, so it doesn't always cross my mind. When Gabe and I hung out.. it wasn't the way you and I do. I'm not used to someone wanting to cuddle together and hang out together all the time. A lot of my relationship with Gabe, I was high and we had sex. The fact that you've turned me down so many times when I've tried to jump your bones shows me this is different. That you're different, even though you have slept around. I can't be better, if you don't tell me what's wrong. I get why you don't like Gabe, but he's Gemma's father. She deserves to know her dad, and he hasn't done anything wrong to not have that privilege. I'm trying to navigate this new life I'm working on building, and I'd really appreciate it if you could be supportive of my choices, and not argue with me when I say I'm trying to do shared custody with Gemma. This is my life, Colby. The highs and lows, the fights, the tears.. I'm figuring it out. We all are... this is the best I can offer you, until you give me the chance to learn with you. I need patience, support... and love."

"So what does this mean? You want to try this again, or you want me to support your decisions with Gabe?"

"Colby, I never stopped loving you. Taking the time to work on myself wasn't me calling it quits. I need to be better for myself, to be better for us. Now I know that you want late night cuddles and movie nights and sleep overs. We don't communicate, Colby. I wanted the space to make sure my addiction was in a manageable place and I was in a healthy place with Gemma. I'm twenty three. I have my whole life to love you. I was allowed to take a moment to focus on myself. To be better. That does mean I wanted to leave you, or that I never wanted to see you again. Look" She paused, her hands tossed out to show her room, "I'm doing better.  I've been clean for 6 months. I've kept my job, I'm paying my bills, I'm taking care of Gemma and figuring out how to do shared custody with her dad. I have my record locked and I have a roof over my head. I've been going to my meetings and my therapy sessions.. I'm feeling good. You know that"

"So does this mean you're ready to try again?" I asked, trying to keep up at the constant conversation change. 

"Are you?" She asked, the small smile on her face, slowly growing.

"Are you fucking kidding?! I've been ready!" I exclaimed, making her laugh, a beautiful smile on her face as she pushed herself up off the bed, her hands reaching out for my bicep as she steadied herself.

"So does this mean we're willing to try again?" She asked quietly between us, staring up into my eyes.

"You said we needed to lay everything out on the table, right?" I asked, her face dropping.

"Why? What did you do?"

"Nothing I just.... do you think we could uh... consider Gemma uh.." I paused, regretting starting this conversation.

"Consider Gemma, what?"

"I'd like to be a father figure to her" I quickly spit out before I could second guess myself, Leighton's touch against my skin freezing, her body going tense.

"W-what?"

"I want to be more to Gemma" I reconfirmed, my heart racing as I tried to figure out what was going on inside of her head.

"Can we take it one day at a time?" She asked, stepping back from me.

"What?" I questioned, my heart dropping to my stomach.

"We're not even properly together yet, plus she's not even two. I don't want her to get confused" She told me, seeming to want to let me down softly.

"It's okay, it was a stupid idea anyway" I dismissed, running my fingers through my hair, Leighton's hand grabbing my wrist, pulling my hand away from my face.

"It's not stupid Colby. You're right, you've been more of a father to Gemma than he has. You've been around more, so much in fact that she get's so excited when you're even brought up in conversation. This isn't a no... but a not right now — And before you push me away!" She spoke quickly, noticing my parted lips, ready to bite back, " I would love it if you were her father, but life didn't deal me those cards, and I'm just to play with what I have in my hand, okay? For right now.. I want to focus on us, and on Gemma. I'm sure she'd love to have you as her daddy... but Gabe is her father, and sadly, he has a say. He has rights to her, to see her and be around her. I don't want to create conflict right now. Can we revisit this later when I'm not freshly figuring out custody?" She asked, her hands cradling my jaw, keeping my eyes on her.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up" I apologized again, knowing better than to suggest something so stupid. Especially now.

"Stop apologizing. You're her Coco, and honestly that's so much better than being her dada" She laughed, tears in her eyes as the pad of her thumb pulled at my lower lip before running along the crease and down my cheek to my jaw.

"You know I love her right?" I asked quietly, my hands resting on her hips.

"I think the whole world knows Colby" She laughed, moving her hands behind my neck, her eyes keeping hold on mine.

"I've missed these pretty green eyes" I murmured, resisting the urge to capture her lips between mine.

"They haven't gone anywhere" She giggled, her fingers messing with the hair on the back of my neck.

"You're annoying"  I chuckled.

"Shut up" She grinned, a slight laugh leaving her throat.

"Can I tell you something silly?" I asked, her head tilting.

"Sure"

"I'm stupidly in love with you" I smirked, trying to hold back my shit eating grin, wanting to wrap my arms around her waist and hold her forever.

"Awe shucks!" She giggled, her tongue poking out a little as her shoulders shrugged upwards, squishing her face a little. "That is very silly of you" She teased, my eyes rolling, a smile on my face.

Whilst my eyes looked away, I felt her arms create a pressure on my shoulders, bringing my attention back to her, seeing her on her tiptoes as she watched my face, slowly getting closer to me, her lips finally softly touching mine, a soft feather like pressure laying against them, almost like she was afraid I'd push her away.

My hands moved to her ass, pulling her into me, her lips pressing harder into mine, a soft groan escaping my lips from the softness of her lips, missing the way she felt against me.

Her teeth pulled at my bottom lip a little before murmuring against mine,

"I'm in love you too"

* * * * 

This book is getting close to being done which is why we are "flashing" through the months. 

Don't worry, we still have book 3!

Merry Christmas! <3

I feel like people forget Leighton has tattoos lol. Like she has a whole sleeve, a rose covering the top of her hand to her knuckles, her foot is covered, she has some on her neck and collarbone. On her ribcage and inner finger... idk, I feel like when I even visualize her, I forget. Same with her ear is covered in pretty earrings from top to bottom. Or like the rings on her fingers... her painted, if not acrylic nails. So my little details lol

Written on: December 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th 2022

Published on: December 26th 2022

Word Count: 7462

Part Forty Five

[bye-bye-firefly]

Okie! I’m going to try to think of a request! I once again do not know what this request shall be. I’m going to look through some of your notes for ideas.

Alright, maybe for the purposes of making characters filled with Sleep Deprivation, (because I’ve found that I really like how you write sleepiness, promise next time I’ll try to ask for something different!) there could be a sleepover. And there can be Miu with all her little inventions and one sec. Gonna look at that one poll thingy with the tables.

Found it! There could be Kokichi and Kiibo too. And they have a lot of those cool candles with really obscure names there for some reason? Maybe they just bought them or made them or maybe they’re just There and no one knows why. I dunno??

Also I think it should be noted that I went and googled stuff about the late 2000s and I found out cereal straws are a thing??? Like straws that you eat??? I did not know about this. It was very shocking. The cocoa krispies ones kinda look like those chocolatey stick things that have soft chocolate insides, can’t remember what they’re called, and it made me really crave those.

Anyway, I think that’s it! Sleepover ft. Candles. If it doesn’t seem fun, feel free not to write it. Not like there’s much of a point if there’s no enjoyment being gained! Also, are there like any things in particular that you’ve been interested in writing about? I’ve already asked about your favorite things but like I wanted to ask more questions about stuff you like.

(Btw, thank you for the reassurances that you wouldn’t yell at me, it did actually make me feel better!)

nothing is really hitting me right now regarding how to go with this idea but maybe it'll hit me later. for right now i dont think ill go with it BUT im glad you asked anyway! its always good to ask ^_^ plus i might return to it and make a version of it

and stuff ive been interested in writing...well as always sleep deprivation and eventual sleep (which is basically hurt/comfort which is WHYYY hurt/comfort is my favourite trope. this threw my friends for a loop when we did like a friend quiz for funsies but to be so fair to them i did include sleepy boys as an option which i threw in as a trick answer) but also i just love horror. i like writing unsettling shit yo which is why in recent years all ive been writing is horror. but even in my early days as a fic writer i was writing horror like propaganda is a drama and a horror fic but its not really psychological and its not as overbearing as some of my newer work (some of which is also. not published yet...)

other stuff . other stuff i like to write. trying desperately to remember all the things i like to write. uh. illness. sick fics are good. its why i had like multiple chapters in nameless have either kokichi or shuichi be sick

okay heres the thing is im obsessed with a few concepts and im going to just ramble under the cut about those things and these are things that like form everything i write and create and think about and how i see the world OKAY? okay

so the first thing has to do with tlou1 and it kind of goes hand in hand with the illness but only KIND OF. so you know that joel gets hurt and then goes into a bit of a Coma while he recovers but i dont give a shit about that i care about ONE THING. joel gets hurt right. ellie pulls him up. and hes STILL fighting. hes STILL pushing himself for HER. and she is this little kid and she can barely hold her own but shes gonna fucking try so you have joel stumbling through while hes losing blood and. theres this one part. if you remember this. where joel stumbles and almost falls over and ellie goes, "here, lean on me." and he goes "No." and she goes "well can you walk?" and he goes "Yes!" and shes like "then fucking walk!" and she lets him walk even though he can barely walk in a straight line let alone stand up because they respect and trust each other but she is still obviously scared that shes about to lose him and hes scared that hes about to lose her and i love that bit of the game so much. the way joel is barely able to move and do anything and therefore you as the player are barely able to do anything to help ellie and you feel so helpless and she can STILL hold her own and you are STILL a team and you are FIGHTING so FUCKING HARD and youre NEARLY THERE!!! and joel ONLY lets go when they are safe. he only falls over when he knows they are safe. he physically cannot go on any longer even though he wants to. THAT is a scene and concept ive written privately for like my own characters and even for nameless though that scene was never popped into the story. i like seeing gravely injured characters fight so hard for the people they care about, and then i love being able to see the people they fought hard for scared that they might not make it. theres so much care and devotion and LOYALTY in that and i love using it for like parent-child duos or even ships like. the Versatility. this is everything to me. and like. who WOULDNT do that for someone they care about? who WOULDNT risk their life to save someone they love? who WOULDNT hold on for a little longer for them?

okay next thing. this is something that comes from tlou2 which i dont believe youve actually seen because penny hasnt played it completely . ..? i think ? ? i havent caught up with the streams...but anyway im gonna talk in vague terms about this but basically. ive talked about this in a note before i know i have. but theres this whole long conversation between joel and ellie that ends with ellie being like "i shouldve died in that hospital. my life wouldve fucking MATTERED." and joel tells her, "if god gave me a second chance in that moment...i would do it ALL again." and when you go through tlou2 you know just what that means. its all the pain. and despite everything, he would do it again and he says this to her face when she is at her angriest, her most bitter, and she says. and this has ALWAYS made me cry and im like tearing up thinking about it she says "i dont know if i can forgive you for that. but...i would like to try." and ever since i saw that scene i can say for certain that has like changed me fundamentally like this has shaped me and tlou1 has shaped me. its just. god. GOD!!! I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT. BUT...I WOULD LIKE TO TRY. DO YOU GET IT??? im loinsg it im losing my MIND its the love its the capacity for forgiveness for something that to you is only unforgivable and THATS what tlou2 is about as well people may tell you its the revenge is bad game but its ALWAYS about forgiveness and they dont get it like i do and its tragic and at the same time provides closure and its bittersweet and its that bittersweetness that i love and i love writing scenes and stories that are essentially just i dont know if i could ever forgive you for that, but i would like to try. we hurt each other so much and so often we hurt the people we love unintentionally and its so hard to forgive and sometimes it takes a long time to get to the point where we can. and sometimes we cant forgive. sometimes we never get to that point. but i think its beautiful to try for someone you love too much to lose. i think its really beautiful.

and finally. this goes kind of hand in hand with everything ive written here. im just fixated on the idea of fighting through people or something destructive right like this person is fighting so hard through something covered in blood or muck and the dust settles and theyre shaky and they see the person they were fighting so hard for and they just relax and gather them up in their arms and its the knowledge that theyre okay, its okay............not having to fight anymore is what its all about at the end of the day. and that also leads to eepies

but at the end of the day its all about love really. everything adds up to effort and love

[tobi-momo]

You Belong With Me

PAIRING: Tsukishima Kei x Reader GENRE: Romance | Fluff | Angst (?) | Comfort (?) | Mutual Pining | Slowburn | Confession WARNINGS: tsukki has a toxic gf | cursing | ooc? | implied infidelity (not you or kei) | prolly more sry WORD COUNT: 2k A/N: this fic is HEAVILY based off of You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift- if you've seen the music video this is like it but my way 😌 uhh i hope you like it <3 oh also pls don't cringe it'll hurt my feelings

“What was she so mad about?” Your voice bleeds through his phone as he scribbles on his homework with his number two pencil, sighing at your question. He looks up briefly to his window to see you at your desk across your two properties’ filing the papers for your math class, organizing your work. Your phone is sandwiched between your shoulder and your ear, your eyes narrowed as you focus on what assignments are what.

“Kei?”

He shakes his head as his mind snaps out of the daze, his golden eyes flicking down to his work. “Uh,” he sighs as he re-grips his pencil, “I teased her a little bit and she got mad,” he finished. You chuckled before covering your mouth with your hand, finally looking up at the man through your clear panes.

“You’re kidding,” you giggle, a smile leading onto Kei’s face while he listens to your voice, although refusing to look up at your face, he shakes his head in a joking dismissal.

“No, I’m not. But we are never mentioning it again.”

“Oh, good luck getting me to keep quiet!” You shout as your back straightens against your desk chair, a smug look playing on your face once the blond male looks up at you.

He stands up, a reciprocating smirk laying on his lips before he says, “You will,” before he takes his phone away from his ear, pressing the “hang up” button and raising his arm to close the drapes. You laugh with satisfaction while you exit his contact, turning on some music and tossing your phone on your bed before cleaning up your area and strumming your fingers like an imaginary guitar.

He opened his curtains expecting to see you sulking while doing your work, only to see you dance like an idiot while you blast your music, your pencils acting as a microphone as you perform your concert in front of your stuffed animals. He could hear the music from across the yard, him identifying it as your shared playlist that you two made a couple years back, the duration over fifteen hours as about three-hundred songs reside. An accidental chuckle escaped him as his eyes rested on your jumping figure for just a couple seconds. It was for entertainment. Yeah. That’s it.

~.~.~.~

Sticking your fabric marker on the construction paper, you write out your message to Kei.

“I love you”. It was a message that would tell him that he deserves the best and nothing less. It was something that you treasured and wanted to share that value with him. Something that told him that he belonged with you.

You hoped that one day you’d be able to give it to him, to tell him how you really feel, to show that you can do a better job than her, but you never got the chance. Carrying the folded slip in your pocket, ready to pull out, his phone rings. As you sit on the bench on the side of the road, you wonder how long it had been since you had seen him really smile. You had made him smile a lot before, even if he doesn’t smile a lot genuinely, there are some times where real happiness seeps through his facade. You like it when that happens, always have. You noticed how much his happiness had reduced over the course of these last few months, though.

He answers the phone very monotone, very uninterested. He sounded obligated while he spoke to his girlfriend, sighing sharply once he hung up.

“What was that about?”

“Just drama. Kind of sick of it at this point.” He sticks his phone in his pocket, looking over to your concerned expression. “It’s nothing to worry about,” he says while rolling his eyes, placing a soft hand on your head and letting it rest. His hand retracted quickly when the sound of his name rings through his ears, his head whipping towards his girlfriend's figure. He readjusts his glasses, sitting straight up and swinging the strap of his school bag over his shoulder before he gets up and sluggishly walks across the street, meeting up with the one he was set to have a date with later. He subtly waved to you prior to turning his head away and continuing his stroll with his date hanging on his arm. You ignore the glare served your way when you wave back to him, forgetting the multiple reasons of why you wanted him away from her so he can enjoy his date. Hopefully.

~.~.~.~

As you stand on the bleachers of Kei’s game, you watch him stride over the court and jump to block the ball, a playful smirk residing on his lips as he sends the ball to the other side. You clap for him, shouting praises his way in hopes he might hear you over everyone else. Especially her. The screaming and unnecessary noise making your ears bleed a bit. You didn’t mean to be irritated by it, but the pulse on your forehead and the grit of your teeth made it painfully obvious you didn’t really like her.

When the end of the game hit, you were overloaded with joy at Kei’s victory. You hurriedly make your way over to him before gripping him tightly in a hug, not caring about the sweat that drips off his body. You could feel his arms flex as he raised his arms to hesitantly reciprocate your actions until his arms completely dropped, his body stiff.

“What the hell?” He muttered under his breath as he firmly moved you aside to walk away. Following after him, you let your head peek out from the side of his back, watching it all occur in front of you. “What’s this?”

“What? Nothing, Kei,” she mewls, setting her hands on her boyfriend’s shirt as if she thought he was silly.

“Yeah, we were just, uh, talkin’.” The man before her fibs.

“Not according to what I just saw,” Kei accuses the two with a furrowed brow, fed up. You come out from behind him, glaring at his girlfriend in hate. This was it.

“Don’t worry about it, man,” the man dismisses, turning to keep the conversation with her going.

Stepping forward, you place an arm in front of Kei, stopping his movements as you eye his girlfriend. “Tell me you were not just flirting with this man and we’ll leave.”

“I wasn-”

“Don't,” you pause, taking a deep breath as you watch her take a step back, “don’t lie to me, or you will regret it,” you threaten, a sharp glint in your eye telling her that you are oh so serious about this. Behind you, Kei watches as you make his girlfriend stammer on her words, a subconscious smile leaking on his face.

She stomps away with anger, the man beside her moving away as well, scoffing.

~.~.~.~

He didn’t say much on the way home; you trailed behind him as he walked away in part anger and denial. You didn’t really know what to say. Should you go back and find the girl and beat some sense into her? Should you give some words of the wise to Kei? Would he even take it?

As you watch him slow down to match your pace, you grow confused. You were headed to your place, so why was he suddenly following? “Kei?” He hums in response, his head hanging low. “Would you like to stay at my place? I can make coffee and we can stay up shit-talking our least favorite people,” you giggle and softly bump into his side, a stifled chuckle escaping him.

“Whatever,” he mumbles with an obvious smile as he continues to walk with you. When you quietly shut the door and take your shoes off, you softly tread to the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine- the man that you took home followed, his arm planting on the marble counter as his eyes trail over your moving figure.

As you sit on the stool next to him beside your kitchen island, you converse about the drama he’s been scooped in, him rolling his eyes twice a minute and his irritation level going off the charts as he recalls the events. He hated it, you could tell. He made it pretty obvious he wasn’t happy about it, too.

“Are you still going to the dance with her tomorrow then?” You speak curiously, twirling your fingers around each other while staring blankly into the marble as you awkwardly sit there, awaiting an answer.

It takes him a second to respond, a long sigh and a deep thought coming into play in his mind once he looks over to your spaced expression. Does he really want to go? Did he want to go with her, or with someone else- you? “Probably.”

Oh. “Are you sure you wanna do that? After what happened today?”

“Why not. Nothing better to do,” he justifies, shrugging. Yeah, you probably should have seen that coming.

The note that resided in your pocket seemed to crumple a little bit when you came to terms with the fact that he may never notice you the way you wanted him to.

~.~.~.~

“Are you going?” Kei asks over his phone as he takes his suit out of his closet.

“Ah, no,” you breathe out as guilt pools in your stomach, your elbow balancing sitting on your desk while dozing off into something that is not mathematical equations.

“Oh,” is all he says before telling you he needed to get ready, giving his goodbye.

After the call ends, you see the light fading away from his room as he closes the drapes, giving you a sign to start working again. You wondered what would happen if you possibly showed up. You originally were going to go, but the date that canceled soon beforehand gave your mind a gentle squeeze, telling you that the dance wasn’t for you. Still, the tiniest urge told you to make an appearance. You groan in waver, giving in.

~.~.~.~

You felt good. You felt really good. Wearing your planned outfit to this dance, you make your way inside carefully, minding the crowd. You catch the eye of the one girl that you held a grudge against, watching her grope another man on the dance floor. You roll your eyes in disgust as you move your head around to find a tall blond in the crowd. He leaned against the wall across from you his arms crossed while his dilated pupils trace the light that bounces off the floor.

“Hey,” you greet him, his attention whipping to you as he raises his head.

“Hi,” he reluctantly answers you while standing straight up, a relieved smirk leading onto his lips. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I didn’t want to put my outfit to waste,” you smile, spreading your arms to show your attire.

“Yeah, well you came at perfect timing,” he points towards his girlfriend which you identified earlier, although he seemed like he didn’t care all that much.

Gripping the folded paper in your pocket, you slip it out with two fingers confidently. “I have something to tell you,” you admit, your eyes staying centered on his black suit.

“Go on,” he eggs, hands staying at the side of his body while he watches you fluster yourself. It takes you less than a second to shove the note in his stomach and turn around, your face turning hotter and hotter every moment. Your hands lay against your cheeks as your nerves rattle beneath your skin, your ears tingling when you hear a sweet chuckle glide against his lips. “You should have told me a long time ago, Y/n. I wouldn’t have to deal with,” his eyebrows turn up as his head tips towards the dancing figure just a couple of feet away from you guys, “...that.”

You turn around slowly, disbelief covering your face when you look at his smug expression. “Are you kidding me? You’re telling me this,” you gesture at the both of you with your pointer finger, “could have been something a long time ago?”

He sucks in through his teeth, taking a grip on your arm and pulling you with him as he walks through the crowd to the middle of the room. “Yep. Guess you missed out.”

“Says you,” you roll your eyes with attitude as you pick up your pace and place your hand in his.

He knew he belonged with you, he was just wondering when you would admit that.

aaa here it is! three days of work! sry i havent been posting lately ive been working <3 (reupload bc tumblrs a little bitch)

REQUESTS: OPEN

reblogs are VERY appreciated!

[pettyvxbes]

COLSON BAKER x READER - OCEAN EYES IV

BRIAN, JIMI, JANIS, KURT, AND. . .COLSON?

"Can we get two 16oz house drips, one black with two sugars and the other with two sugars and a splash of cream?" He ordered, remembering exactly how you took your coffee, even after all the time you'd been separated. It made you smile, knowing that you still occupied some space in his mind.

"So this is your coffee shop?" You asked, leaning against the side of the counter as you waited for your drinks.

"Yeah, I opened it last year. It turned out pretty cool." He smiled as he looked around the room. You could tell he was proud of it.

"It's badass" You agreed with him.

"If you're hungry, we serve brunch." Colson handed you a menu to peruse. "This is actually why I was at the farmers market. All of our fruits and vegetables are local." You looked over the list of food, noticing all of the fresh ingredients.

"That's so cool. Everything sounds delicious." You said, flipping the menu over to continue exploring. On the opposite side, you found a cocktail menu. Some of the drink names made you chuckle. There was 'the gunner,' 'sex, dope, and cheap thrills,' 'screw me' with its counterpart, 'screw you,' and the 'you know I'm no good.' Without even seeing the ingredients, you immediately thought that the last one sounded like a drink you'd choose.

Colson exchanged the menu in your hands with a coffee cup filled with hot coffee. You looked at him and gave him a weak thank you smile which he inadvertently returned, and just like that, you were taken back to the first morning you had ever spent together.

You woke up randomly as the sun was shining through the tiny window of your dorm room. You were still wearing the same clothes from the night before. It confused you because you hadn't even remembered falling asleep. The last thing you could recollect was laying with Colson in your XL twin bed, which he noted multiple times was fantastic because his tall, lanky ass fit perfectly.

"Good morning," Colson whispered. It took you a moment to fully wake up, but you noticed how your bodies were intertwined when you did. Your head was on his chest, and his arm was holding you close to him. It was cozy.

"Good morning." You repeated, squeezing him and nuzzling your face into his neck. "How long have you been awake?" You asked sleepily, afraid that you were the only one who had dozed off.

You and Colson had agreed to stay up as long as you could talking to each other. After all, it was the first time you had seen each other since Atlanta, and even though you had basically talked every day for the last 3 months, you still had a lot to talk about.

"Not long, maybe like fifteen.. . twenty minutes" He shrugged. "I didn't want to wake you. I just wanted to lay here and hold you a little longer, watch you sleep, smell your hair." He squeezed you, placing a small kiss on the top of your head. "I wanted to memorize all of it because this weekend will be over before we know it, and then It'll be back to facetime calls and falling asleep on the phone."

"Blahhh, don't remind me." You pouted, sitting up to face him. You enjoyed every single second you got to spend with that blue-eyed boy in your bed, and you never wanted it to end. He had quickly become your best friend, your person.

"Sorry. Y'know, you're fucking cute when you're sleepy" Colson smiled at you, no makeup and hair a mess. To him, you were perfection. "Oh, I ordered coffee." He said excitedly as he sat up, reaching for the cups on the table next to your bed. "Remind me to thank your roommate later. She was not very happy when she was woken up by the Doordash driver." He chuckled.

"She'll get over it" You took the warm cup from him, sipping slowly. Careful not to burn your mouth. You immediately spit the coffee back into the cup, scrunching your nose up at the taste. The coffee was sweeter than a glazed chocolate donut filled with thousands of tiny sprinkles. You thoroughly enjoyed coffee, and you liked to be able to taste the flavor in every sip.

"Shit, did I get it wrong?" He asked worriedly. It was one of the topics you had discussed last night, and he had already forgotten.

"Yeah, but we've never had coffee together, so I'll give you a free pass." You joked. "Two sugars and a splash of cream," you reminded him with a small smile.

"I swear I will never forget again." He promised, passing you his coffee to share.

"Let's sit back here" Colson's voice pulled you from your memory. As you followed him to the back of the coffee shop, you noticed photos of different famous musicians on each table.

"What's with the pictures?" You asked, gesturing towards a table with Kurt Cobains' face on it.

"They're all a part of the 27 club." He could tell by the expression on your face that you had no idea what that meant. "a bunch of artists and entertainers that died at the age of 27." Colson explained.

"Oh." you gasped, finally understanding the name of his coffee shop.

Colson led you to a table in the back corner. It was secluded enough to offer a little privacy from the rest of the customers. You took a seat, instantly noticing the photo that was on your table. It was him. Your narrowed eyes and knitted brows caught his attention, and he followed your gaze to determine the look of confusion on your face.

"You're 31." You stated the obvious.

"Yes, but most days I feel like my life ended when I was 27." He let out a small chuckle.

You took a sip of your coffee, waiting for Colson to elaborate further. Quickly getting distracted by the liquid in your cup. When the coffee first hit your tongue, you could taste a combination of floral and fruity notes, but as you swallowed, you noticed a nutty caramel tone. It was unique and unlike any other coffee, you had ever tried.

"Mmm," You hummed quietly, approving of the noteworthy java in your hand. "You remembered how I like my coffee." You said without thinking.

You regretted it almost instantly. You didn't want to discuss your past relationship or talk to Colson like old friends. You just wanted the explanation you deserved so you could be on your way. It wasn't necessary to spend any more time with him than need be. You didn't want to conjure up old feelings any more than you already had by being in this stupid city.

"I said I would never forget, didn't I?" He looked at you like you made the whole world spin, and for a moment, it was like time stood still.

"God. I'm so stupid." His words came out as a whisper as he looked away from you. Shame and guilt wallpapered his face. "I made the biggest mistake of my life by losing you, and it's something I'm never going to forgive myself for."

"Why'd you leave Colson?" You were blunt, and your words were shaky.

"Because y/n, you deserved better." He paused, collecting his thoughts before continuing. "I was laying there with you in my arms that morning thinking to myself, 'how can I possibly love this amazing woman the way she deserves to be loved when I don't even like who I am."

The sadness in his voice was evident, and you could clearly see the pain in his glossy blue eyes. He hurt himself just as much as he had hurt you.

"I was the biggest fuck up on the planet. You sacrificed your happiness to be with me, to support my dreams, and be my biggest fan. . .I was selfish, and I took you for granted. I broke your heart, and somehow you still managed to see the best in me. It wasn't fair to you. -- Y/n, I had to go because I knew that staying would have been even more painful for you. I was a sinking ship that was burning, and I couldn't bear to be the reason you went down in flames too." A silent tear slid down his cheek.

You sat there speechless as you listened to the explanation you had waited years to hear. You hadn't even realized it, but at some point, you had started tearing up too. Colson reached over, wiping the tears from your face.

"I hate myself for fucking things up with you." He said, staring at you.

You didn't know what it was about him, but when you looked into those blue eyes, you saw a reflection of your soul staring back at you. He was your person, always had been, and always would be. You and Colson had a once-in-a-lifetime connection. The kind of connection that made you feel alive by just being near him, even the silence between you, was comfortable because you felt complete in each other's presence.

"You are worth so much more than second thoughts and maybes'. I am so sorry y/n" You could feel the emotion in Colson's words. His apology was like rain on a dehydrated garden. Grossly overdue, but miraculously just in time.

You sat in silence for a few moments before speaking. "Earlier, when you said you lost your life at 27, what did you mean?" You questioned.

"Y'know, everyone thought I was overreacting after our breakup. . ." He started. You had no idea where he was going with his response, but you let him continue." what they didn't get was how much of my life you really were. . .You were more than just another relationship down the drain. You were my past, my present, and my future. Y/n, you were my life."

At that moment, you understood why his photo sat on a table in that coffee shop. He was a part of the 27 club, not because he physically perished at 27, but because that was when he lost the only thing that ever made him feel alive, you.

TAG LIST @canyoubuymetoast @ticketstomydaydreams @mvrylee

[imyourangell]

Hi

this is gunna be angsty (if u dont write angst or feel comfy just ignore) but can u do Thomas Hewitt, and Vincent Sinclair with a Fem!S/O who was sexually abused and has flashbacks very frequent? im talking multiple a day

-MrKrabs

✨💕This might be late and for which I apologize I had exams today TT anyway! Here we go!~✨💕

✨💕🌟Warnings?:Sexual abuse if this makes you uncomfortable please DO NOT read! Also minors do not Interact!!✨💕🌟

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

✨🥀vincent and Thomas with a s/o who has been sexually abused in the past~✨🥀

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

🕯️Vincent:✨🥀vincent had a feeling something happened to you but never really questioned it✨🥀

✨🥀Not until you had a bad nightmare and woke up screaming and crying✨🥀

✨🥀You had no choice but to tell him and when you did Vincents heart broke!✨🥀

✨🥀Oh y/n..✨🥀

✨🥀he immediately pulls you in his arms gently stroking you're hair✨🥀

✨🥀He wishes he could've been to protect you! He would've killed them painfully slow..✨🥀

✨🥀After this however he realizes he missed all the signs! The way you flinch around men✨🥀

✨🥀not wanting anyone to touch you✨🥀

✨🥀the crying at night✨🥀

✨🥀If you're abuser EVER steps foot in Ambrose he himself will kill them!✨🥀

✨🥀And no they won't be joining the wax sculptures for obvious reasons✨🥀

✨🥀From then on he helps you any way he can to deal with the flashbacks✨🥀

✨🥀Wanna try you're hand at art? He'll teach you!✨🥀

✨🥀Cuddles? Done!✨🥀

✨🥀extra blankets? Done!✨🥀

✨🥀He’ll take you on walks through this little garden if it'll help!✨🥀

✨🥀he will do anything possible to show you he won't EVER let anything like that happen again!✨🥀

✨🥀You’re his muse y/n his little piece of heaven✨🥀

✨🥀And he'll do everything in his power to protect his little angel~✨🥀

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

🥺Thomas:✨🥀Of course Thomas noticed pretty much right away✨🥀

✨🥀but the fateful day the truth was revealed✨🥀

✨🥀Is when you came running to him in tears hitting the ground on you're knees begging him to him away from you✨🥀

✨🥀He was both worried and on high alert✨🥀

✨🥀he kneeled down holding you're shaking arms gently✨🥀

✨🥀You told him everything and that you're abuser was here in the house✨🥀

✨🥀He hugged you kissing the top of you're head gently rocking back and forth softly🥀✨

✨🥀He had tears in his mainly because someone had hurt you so bad✨🥀

✨🥀And even though you didn't know him about that point in time✨🥀

✨🥀He still blamed himself for not being there to protect you✨🥀

✨🥀he pulled back a bit to look at you're face✨🥀

✨🥀The sight in front of him broke him..you’re face covered in tears.. You're shaking body.. You were scared..✨🥀

✨🥀You begged him to make you're abuser go away and Thomas was happy to do that✨🥀

✨🥀This was the one time where he wasn't sad that he had to kill✨🥀

✨🥀He signed for you to go to you're shared bedroom✨🥀

✨🥀And of course you did and there you waited for him✨🥀

✨🥀You put headphones so you didn't hear anything✨🥀

✨🥀And then finally after what felt forever Thomas came in✨🥀

✨🥀You ran into his arms which he wrapped around you✨🥀

✨🥀 although it's hard for him he whispered “I'm sorry”✨🥀

✨🥀from there he's much more alert especially around Hoyt if he even looks at you the wrong Thomas is on it✨🥀

✨🥀When it comes to you're flashbacks Thomas tries to be as soothing as possible getting anything you need to calm down!✨🥀

✨🥀Cuddles? Done!✨🥀

✨🥀Tea? Done!✨🥀

✨🥀something Sweet? Done!✨🥀

✨🥀He’ll do anything to ensure you're comfortable and safe! You're his precious angel~ you're so perfect in his eyes~!✨🥀

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

✨🌸Hihi! Angel here! Just super quick I wanna say I hope wrote this correctly TT and sexual abuse is NOT okay if anyone has been through it I am so so sorry! I'm here if you need to talk. I know these things are not easy to talk about but please know you're not alone! You're still worthy of love and happiness ❤️✨🌸

[mtfstuff]

Getting back together

I had a great time with my girlfriend, Sara. We know each other since kindergarten and we were a couple since high school. We graduated together and managed to fulfill our dreams. We both became professional dancers. We started of small as background dancers in some musicals or local stage plays. I was fine with that and slowly let myself go. I lost my muscular body for a slightly chubby look.

But Sara wanted more. She managed to get an award and got contracts for multiple TV shows and big stage plays.

She was finally happy for some time and even got myself some bigger events to dance. But after a while she wasnt happy anymore. At first I thought that she didnt like to be in the spotlight but after some time I noticed that she wasnt happy with me anymore. She made comments about my weight and that she loved my old look. She stayed at work longer and longer. One of the reasons she gave for this was a new play where she was the leading dancer.

One day I followed her to work and waited till she went home. She left work way earlier than she was home the last couple of weeks. She drove away and I followed her. I found out that she met with another man. Of course she got herself a tall, muscular, good looking guy. They've met almost every day and I started to look him up. Rurik Gislason, a soccer player.

As time went on and they've seen each other more and more, our relationship started to break. One night it escalated. She came home and was annoyed about me. She told me that I should train more to get jobs again or she'll leave me. In anger I told her that I knew about her and Rurik and we ended our relationship. She officially left me for him and I was all alone. That evening I knew that I wanted to change something as I couldnt live without her.

I searched the darkweb for a solution. At first I wanted a love spell but I couldnt find any. I stumbled upon a shady looking website but I thought I should give it a try and ordered a body possession set.

It arrived the next day and I studied tje instructions. I drove to Rurik and found out that he was practicing soccer alone somewhere near his house. I drove to the soccer field and found him practicing alone.

I walked up to him and noticed how confused he was.

"Can I help you?", he asked.

What a beautiful thick accent he has, I thought. No wonder Sara left me for him.

I now stood right in front of him, he looked nervous.

I quickly grabbed his hand, shook it, threw a coin in front of him, touched his shoulder and forehead. Just like it was described in the instructions and it worked. Rurik was hypnotized.

I ordered him to get into the locker and he complied. In the locker room I made him fall to sleep. He fell to his knees before his head hit the ground. His ass was now up in the air.

I sat down next to him, rolled him into my arms and started to strip him naked for the ritual. I started with his jersey, revealing his tattoo and abs. I started to smell the smell of his armpits. What a manly smell. I lifted his legs with his over knee soccer socks and shoes onto my shoulders and pulled down  his sport shorts. To my surprise he was wearing nothing beneath it. I looked at his massive hairy cock, thinking about how it'll be mine soon. I grabbed one leg after the other and pulled his soccer cleats and socks off. They've got a sweaty smell which, together with seeing his tall, manly body laying in front of me, turned me on. I ran my hands over his perfect body which will soon be mine.

I stripped myself naked and took the possession machine I bought out of a bag.

It looked like a respirator connected via two tubes to a vacuum suction cup for dicks. It was difficult to get the suction cup over his dick but after five minutes I finally made it. I layed down next to him and started to breath into the respirator. I felt a tickle in my body as energy started to flow into his dick. I saw how my body started to age rapidly as his body started to convulse. My sight got blurry and I passed out.

When I woke up I noticed that something was different. I could feel something was sucking on my dick. I leaned up and admired Ruriks, my new body.  I pulled the suction cup from my dick causing me to moan. It made my body shiver and for the first time in a long time I could feel a muscular body again. As I looked next to me, my old body was laying there as if it was part of an old grave. I pult the respirator from my old face, causing the body to crumble to dusk.

I stood up to grab his used clothes as he got a phone call. It was my girlfriend.

I answered and could hear my new beautiful accent every time I opened my mouth to speak. After the call I unlocked his phone through his memories to take one last photo as a soccer player, signifying the end of his old life.

Back home, I waited for my girlfriend to arrive. I told her that I thought about quitting soccer to do something new. She was open to the idea when I told her that I wanted to spend more time with her. I thought about applying to a dance show she was a part of so we could dance together.

Fast forward 6 months and I'm finally dancing with my girlfriend from high school again and that with a better body than I could've had achieved. We have so much fun in this competition we are dancing in and at home we are more intimate than ever. I just hope that she'll never find out about what I did to the real Rurik.

----------------------------------------------------------

This possession was a commission from a friend.

[askfallenroyalty]

I don't think you did anything wrong. When a story is being written, there are a lot of different ways to adress and express something and maybe that's why you're being misunderstood. I think there are just too many things to adress in this story that maybe some people will get when these things are implicitly implied and some people will not. So when a breaking point comes, they'd think it came out of nowhere. You can see this with the amount of asks you receive asking you often the same thing.

Does that mean it's wrong? Ofc not! I myself was a little bit confused with Frisk's reactions and conduct in general until you explained it in your recent asks, and I thought man, that was what I was missing!

Now, yes I believe some parts of the story could have been explained in a different way, because in my opinion there's a lot to read between the lines. If you don't try to understand the characters, you'll clearly be confused as hell. But that's why I love this story! As you said before, there's nothing meant to be black/white coded, and I really appreciate the world and the character's complexity in general. You don't have some of the answers in hand, an that's when you have to analize! (At least that's what I do haha)

I also really felt like telling you something I've been relating to, so I'm putting the respectives tw if someone doesn't want to keep reading (TW: Suicide mention).

In the DW Arc, when the Christmas and Feylow stuff happened, I realised through Chara that I was doing the exact same thing with a friend of mine. He was going through a lot of stuff, and tried to commit suicide multiple times. I was focusing a huge amount of energy on him because I was afraid to lose him, and when he suddenly stopped talking to me so he could take a break, I felt really lost. Because he was the person I talked with the most, one of my dearest friends, and the idea of losing him and not being there to stop it made me insanely anxious, because that used to be the situation most of the times. Now it's been a year since he's stopped talking to me, and I don't exactly know the reason. But I couldn't keep running behind someone who didn't seem to keep wanting me around. And if it wasn't for you, I couldn't have realized how much this was hurting me.

And now, as much as it hurts me to see him acting this distant and cold with me, I'm okay with it. I really am. Because I now have the tranquility to see him continue, even when things are not okay. I can't force a friendship and I really needed to understand that back then. I trust him as much as he trusts me.

I really wanted to thank you for writing this story because it has helped me in a way I didn't expect, and I'm sure it will help a lot of people too! I'm even learning from your way of taking and discussing things haha.

I just wanted you to have this tranquility I have with this story because I trust it'll work out and explain itself once it's finished. And I just can't express how thankful I am to be reading your story.

Thank you again,

I'm looking forward to more of your work and please, take care! Don't stop doing what you enjoy! 🦋

putting it under a readmore because of how long the ask/response is, sorry!

i’m at a loss of words because wow, this ask really hit in a way i’ve never really could of anticipated. when writing AFR, i write a story about things I felt. I’ve been Chara, I’ve been Asriel and Frisk at points in my life. I write because I need to tell their stories and make it real, specifically for my own sake of getting through my own pain and to tell the world this is who i am and that I will be ok, there is hope in this world. It’s a selfish desire for me, but ultimately that’s what art is i feel. I couldn’t draw this much and put so much time and effort into something without it being meaningful or personal.

but art is communication, and when I write to be seen and to be heard, I know there’s others who are reading and are connecting with the work. (otherwise, I wouldn’t be getting asks right? its a lonely process, i forget there’s the second half of the equation -you guys) and i’ll do my best to make sure people are accommodated and can experience this story without hurting in a way that’s past enjoying a emotionally gripping piece of media. i don’t want people to be upset or hurt for my work, and I want to ensure I can make this without hurting others.

I try to leave a lot of ambiguity and room for people to interpret stories and I don’t mind people missing the point or interpreting things vastly differently than what I intended. that’s fine, that’s what art is all about. i don’t want to hold people’s hands and tell them what’s happening or what they should feel -i want them to choose and decipher and think things over. stories should be stimulating and thought provoking, and i can’t decide what those thoughts are. I wouldn’t want to. Personally, if it means people become more confused and lost over the story -well, that’s a trade off I have to take. if it means the story is more up-to-interpretation, than it’s worth it to me.

i do regret with how fast and punchy the arc ended up, and I feel my hints may have been too weak. asriel/flowey has been bluntly surprised/asking to be killed twice, he hasn’t felt like himself since dying and has lost his support systems ect. as a person who’s Been Through Shit, I thought it was as obvious as the sun what was to come but thinking on it now?

with how distance asriel is, how limited the perspective is to chara (who hasn’t known Asriel has been going thru the same depressive/suicidal thoughts as they have this whole time) it was a shock to the system. and in a way that’s fine in my eyes if the reader was completely shocked as you can emphasize more with chara that way... but in the same sense its horrifying for them, it must be for the reader as well.

and I do feel I should of thought of a way to handle the scenario to where it was less in your-face with Asriel’s decent into desperation and attempts. I don’t want to ever show it on screen, I don’t want to ever go into detail and make it any sort of fun for the viewer. it’s supposed to be disturbing and painful and I tried to show how greatly painful it was affecting both chara and frisk. Suicide victims are victims and everyone involved suffer from it. It’s ugly and never something one should be anything but ugly.

that is my intent for it be that, but as I’ve heard from people it’s still a shock and went too far. Authorial intent doesn’t matter when people react to your stories. yes, the context can be good to have, but people’s feelings and reactions mean the world more. I hope with the added context of the complete story that helps it in the long run, but as it is I’m very unhappy with how I tackled it and I don’t really have a good answer to how I should of gone about it. but at the end of the day that doesn’t matter as it happened and I can’t change it.

i’m sorry about your friend and i’m sorry for the pain you’ve experienced as well. it’s not easy being in that position (nor is it for ur friend as well of course) and it’s perfectly fine to feel hurt and to take time for yourself to address those feelings. You, as a person, matter and your feelings are justifiably important as well. nobody asks to be mentally ill and your friend’s choices aren’t fully theirs because of that, but it doesn’t change how it’s affected and hurt you. Losing someone’s friendship has always been a painful and inevitable experience people must go thru in life. I’m sorry that you’ve gone through that, but I’m glad -so happy that my story has helped you in any amount. I sincerely wish you both the best and to heal, I’m proud of you anon for getting through this.

I can’t really express how much it means as a writer to see how my work helped you. Like I mentioned before, I write and feel like it’s by myself that makes this work but it’s a 2 way street -you guys contribute to the story and the story only exists and is perceived by you. without an audience, it really truly is just me here. what you gain and experience within a story is just as important as the writing of the work itself and I often forget that.

Thank you. This was a really nice and eye opening ask and it’s going to be on my mind for a while, haha. I hope once the story is done and I can post-correct how I handle the story, people can learn and gain meaning to it like you have. Sorry if this was a bit rambly, I’m very thankful for your response (as well as everyone else who’s messaged!) and I’m very happy and excited to continue and to do my best. Thank you all so much.

[eryiss]

Fraxus Week 2020: Day 3 - Losing Control

Summary: After a crappy post-college first year, Laxus jumped at the opportunity to leave town for a week for a road trip with his friends. He intended it just to be a week away with his friends, but when he meets an unfamiliar stranger, the vacation turns into something much more. [Fraxus Multichapter]

This is the third part of my Fraxus Week admissions, hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus​. This year I’ve made the prompts into a single multi-chapter fic. You can see all the chapters in the Masterpost linked below. Hope you enjoy.

You can read this on Fanfiction, Archive of our Own, and under the cut. Read the other chapters from this masterlist.

Chapter Three – A Small Diversion

Laxus hadn't expected to enjoy driving the RV as much as he did. He thought it would have been a lot heavier, more susceptible to the wind of the open highway, but it was actually quite pleasant a vehicle. Well, it could be pleasant. The pleasantness was slightly affected when, out of nowhere, a strong hand slammed onto his shoulder with overexcited glee, and then another hand interrupted his vision while pointing to a billboard.

"We have to go!" Bickslow exclaimed. "We just have to."

"Go where?" Evergreen asked from her seat in the van.

"To the largest and most splish-splashiest waterpark in this and the surrounding states," Bickslow almost yelled as he read off the billboard. "Now fixed with a wave pool, lazy river and two new splashtastic waterslides that are a thrill ride for the whole family."

"You sound like a poorly produced radio advert," Freed commented from the passenger side seat, smiling. "Also, I don't think any of us packed swimsuits."

"There's a town right before the park," Bickslow said with glee, and it was clear that he had set his mind on the idea and it would take a lot to convince him otherwise. Laxus wouldn't have been shocked if Bickslow had planned it out beforehand. "They'll have a clothing store with swimsuits, right? It's be weird if they didn't. Come on babies, we have to go!"

"That actually sounds quite nice," Evergreen commented, flicking through her phone. "It'll be nice to get out of here for more than the length of a meal. And it's not like we have to rush to the canyon and back."

"Are you sure?" Freed asked. "I thought Laxus worked, you probably only had a limited time off."

"I claimed two weeks," Laxus shrugged. "Knew we might get distracted, and I was planning on working on some shit around the house before I went back to the office, so I'm not worried about time."

"So we can go!" Bickslow cheered.

Laxus grinned a little at the mans near childlike enthusiasm, and then glanced towards the large billboard to see which exit he would need to leave at. He too was looking forward to spending some time out of the RV where they wouldn't be in a coffee shop, fast food place or a diner. Despite the fact they had only been on the road for three days, Laxus had wanted more than a rushed hour of eating crappy food out of the truck. Even if it was just an afternoon at a water park, that was better than stretching his legs in a parking lot.

It took him a moment to realise that Bickslow hadn't removed his hand from his shoulder, and Laxus frowned a little. When he glanced to the man behind him he saw him grinning wide at him, and Laxus suddenly felt quite unnerved.

"Just thought it fair to warn ya," Bickslow began again, his voice quieter now. "Freed swims as part of his work out. He wears a speedo, and I know from experience that he's one of the guys who can pull it off. So have fun with that."

Bickslow patted his shoulder firmly, and Laxus spent the drive into the next town trying desperately not to think about it.

Mercifully the drive wasn't that long, and they soon found themselves in a sports clothing store that boasted a wide range of swimwear. Another mercy for Laxus' sanity came from when he caught Freed picking out a pair of swimming shorts, meaning the blonde wouldn't be tormented by the sight of the man in nothing but tight spandex. When he diverted his gaze from the man, he saw Bickslow grinning at him, and he started to wonder how easy it would be to leave the guy at the roadside. He doubted that Freed or Ever would have any complaints.

When they entered the water park itself, Laxus was thankfully distracted. The place was a lot more impressive than Laxus had expected, with multiple waterslides coming from a central 'volcano'. There were many simple pools bordering the more exciting parts, a large river with people lounging on inflatables, and even a floating obstacle course that would have looked perfectly in place in some kind of game show. There was multiple food outlets and seating areas scattered through the premises. The fact that schools were still open meant that it was relatively empty as well, meaning the crowds that Laxus had been expecting didn't exist.

It had earned its title as the best and most splish-splashiest water park in the area. Laxus hated that he remembered the damn slogan.

"Well, since you boring bastards are probably gonna take for ever to do something fun, I'm gonna guess I'm going up the slide alone for now," Bickslow grinned, tugging his shirt over his head. "See ya later, kids."

Laxus shook his head slightly as he followed Evergreen and Freed towards one of the seating areas where they had both chairs and sun loungers.

"I bet you that he planned this," Freed commented, stepping in line with Laxus.

"I don't take bets I know I can't win," Laxus grinned, watching as his friend ran towards the plastic volcano. "Honestly, wouldn't be shocked if this was the only reason he wanted to go on the road trip at all. Going to the canyon is just an excuse."

"Perhaps," Freed chuckled. "I wouldn't mind if that's the case, I'm enjoying myself either way."

In a weird way, Laxus was glad to hear it. It wasn't as if he had to look after Freed; if he was anyone's responsibility, he would be Bickslow's. But after finding out that he had recently gotten out of a relationship that he'd been in for months, according to Bickslow, it was nice to know that he was enjoying himself. At the thought, Laxus had to wonder if that might have been the reason why they were at the water park. To give them all a day of stupid childish fun where they could forget about their problems.

Or maybe Bickslow just wanted to go on a slide called the Spine Snapper. Was that appropriate for a kid's ride?

Evergreen had quickly pulled a sun lounger close to a table, and was applying sun screen to herself. Freed had taken a seat at the table, under the shade of a large umbrella, and had opened the book he'd been reading on and off throughout the trip. Laxus took a seat adjacent to him, sliding in his headphones and reclining in the chair, allowing the warm sun to hit his face. He'd get in the water eventually, but at that moment he just wanted to relax.

Hopefully, he wouldn't fall asleep. Sharing a small double bed with Bickslow had given him less sleep that sleeping in a chair on his own.

He closed his eyes and placed his arms behind his neck, resting on them in quiet content. He had gone to place like this as a child with his grandfather, and had always greatly enjoyed them. And as different as the place seemed when he was an adult and couldn't run around like an idiot – unlike Bickslow – it was a weirdly nostalgic moment. It was nice to relax for a while, and not worry about the future as he had been doing for months.

"The heats starting to get too much," Freed commented after a while, and Laxus looked towards him. "I think I'm going to swim for a while to cool off."

The moment Freed looked to remove the billowy white shirt he wore, Laxus averted his eyes. He knew it was completely pointless, they planned to be at the park all day and there was no way he could last the whole time without seeing him shirtless, but at least he could stop himself from seeing the man undress.

"Have fun," Evergreen said with a bored tone, looking over her sunglasses.

"Try to look out for Bickslow," Laxus said with a grin, still keeping his eyes away from Freed. "He'll somehow fly out of a slide and land on ya if you're not careful."

"Oh don't worry, I'm always cautious of flying Bickslows," Freed said with a laugh before walking away.

Laxus shot a glance at his retreating form again. The musculature of his back and the firmness of his legs were really hot, and Laxus had to look away to stop himself from gawking. He knew that the man had some muscle on him, but he hadn't quite expected that much. The blonde almost regretted not looking at the front of his torso when he was undressing.

From the sound of shifting water, Freed had chosen to populate a pool near them. Laxus made sure to look down at his phone, scrolling down his playlist for something to do. He was unaware of Evergreen rolling her eyes at him from behind her glasses.

For a while, Laxus managed to distract himself with his phone or staring absently anywhere that wasn't near Freed. But eventually, when he realised that Freed was swimming lengths of the pool he was in, Laxus found his resolve fading slightly. He was elegantly vicious as he swam, speeding from side to side of the large pool with powerful stroke that highlighted his strong arms and legs. Laxus found himself temporarily unable to look away, and was only distracted when Freed reached the end of the pool and went to turn back. He would clearly see Laxus staring at him when he came up for air, and it wouldn't be easy to explain why.

"I'm gonna get a drink," Laxus said suddenly, standing up and looking to Evergreen. "You want anything."

"Ice tea if they have it, water if they don't," Evergreen requested.

Laxus nodded and turned tail quickly, walking to the nearest snack bar. He relayed his order to the vendor, who quickly got to work getting what he wanted. Laxus absently tapped his fingers on the top of the counter, trying to distract himself from the fact his crush was swimming beautifully behind him and had no idea the effect he was having on Laxus.

He couldn't even understand it himself.

Sure, Laxus had always been dominated by his feelings. It was what had fuelled his rebellious and angst-ridden teenage years – well, that and his crappy relationship with his equally crappy father – but this was somewhat abnormal. Laxus got crushes relatively often, and it hadn't been as intense as this before. And he couldn't explain it by saying it was because he was trapped with the man, because Laxus' crush on his college roommate had been gone in a day. Nor could he blame it on the fact the man was swimming, because Laxus often found guys at the gym hot and he'd endured a communal shower with a few of them, and hadn't been this awkward.

He was quickly losing control of this crush, and it needed to stop.

Because a relationship was probably the last thing Freed wanted right now. Bickslow had been vague about what Freed's relationship had been like, but said it had started before Christmas, meaning it had been lasted almost half a year. Having a break up after that long would leave some kind of an affect, and Bickslow had stated Freed closed himself off emotionally. He probably wanted time to heal, and friends to be around.

"That's four fifty, sir," The person behind the counter requested. Laxus handed him the money, still deep in through.

He just needed to be there for Freed as much as a friend of a friend could be. They would joke, have fun together, and hopefully become friends. That was all Laxus needed to do to keep control of everything.

That promise lasted the exact amount of time it took for Laxus to return to the table.

He happened to glance towards the pool, and fate decided to be a dick to him. Because Freed had not only stopped swimming, but had also just finished dunking his head in the water. He was now standing waist deep in the water, facing towards Laxus and giving him an unhindered view of his strong, mouth-watering body. Water was glinting in the sun as it dripped down his toned stomach, and his hair was plastered to his back. He had his eyes closed and looked deeply content, and Laxus felt his breath catch in his throat.

The entire situation was a slow-motion effect and sensual music away from being a damn made for tv movie. Laxus had even froze so the drink he was placing on the table was hovering an inch above it.

"I don't know why you just don't talk to him," Evergreen said, snapping Laxus out of his trance. "Flirt with him. Nobody's as pretty as you and doesn't know how to make good use of it."

"What?" Laxus frowned, looking to Evergreen. She's removed her sunglasses and was giving him an unimpressed look.

"You've been mooning over him since you saw him," Evergreen continued. "Why don't you actually try and do something about it instead of driving yourself crazy gawping at him."

"I haven't," Laxus said indignantly. Evergreen didn't even try to hide her disbelief at that. After a moment, Laxus spoke again in a mutter. "Has he noticed?"

"No," Evergreen said passively. "He's too cocky not to have flirted back if he knew. Which is why I'm telling you to make the first move. You'd be good together."

"He just got out of a relationship," Laxus said with a slight sigh.

"He's not a wounded little bird Laxus. He's a grown man," Evergreen said, and her tone was almost comforting. "And more importantly, so are you. His old boyfriend… I don't even know why they were together at the end. Or at the start, really. The two of you have a lot in common, a lot more than you'd think. You're similar enough to get along, but you're not clones of each other. Honestly, I think you'd be a good couple, so why not go for it?"

"It's just a crush," Laxus shrugged.

"Which is what you always say," Evergreen persisted, sighing. "You're never going to have anything other than a crush if you don't let yourself act on something. And Freed's the perfect guy to do it with," Laxus didn't say anything. "Just think about it. Oh, and the human torpedo's coming, so prepare yourself."

Laxus looked towards where Evergreen was now looking, to see Bickslow jogging towards them with something in his hand. He gestured for Freed to follow him, which the other man did, as he approached the table. He was panting, red faced and grinning even wider than usual.

"That was kick ass!" He proclaimed loudly. "It's terrifying, you have to do it. Look."

He placed the thing in his hand on the table, and showed it to be a picture similar to those you'd get from an amusement park. It contained Bickslow sliding down a multicoloured tube, with a face that could only be described as a mixture of terror and exhilaration. The fact that he looked at all scared was impressive to Laxus, given how much of a thrill seeker Bickslow could be. Maybe the ride had earned its imposing name.

Laxus' train of thought left him when a gentle chuckle could be heard behind him.

Freed was standing behind him. Freed was half naked, dripping wet, and looking over his shoulder. Laxus couldn't help but tense slightly, hoping to god that the man didn't notice. He did see Bickslow grinning at him, so he wasn't being as subtle as he wanted, but Freed seemed to be too interested in the picture to pay attention to him.

"If it scared you that much, I don't think it's likely you'll get any of us on it," Freed said with a grin.

"Aw, you three ain't just gonna sit here and be boring all day. The two of you ain't even wet yet," Bickslow pouted at Laxus and Evergreen. "You have to do something fun."

"I was actually thinking of going on that," Freed said, motioning to the inflatable obstacle course floating on the largest pool. "I thought one of you might want to race me, to make it a little interesting. Though, I doubt that Laxus would."

Laxus turned towards the man with an expression of shock, and was met with a challenging gaze. It was a good look on the man.

"Why wouldn't I wanna race ya?"

"Well, as you said earlier, you don't get involved in a bet that you can't win," Freed said as if it were obvious, and the cockiness of the man practically radiated off him. He was also crossing his arms, which highlighted the size and refinement of his biceps. A rather unfair tactic, even if not intentional.

"You think I can't beat ya?" Laxus said incredulously.

"I don't think you have a chance," Freed smirked.

"Well, you wanna make this serious then we can make this serious," Laxus said with an equally confident grin. "We race. The loser has to go on that back breaker ride-"

"Spine Snapper," Bickslow corrected.

"Spine Snapper," Laxus amended, not looking away from Freed. "The loser has to go on that, buy the picture and make it the icon of all their socials, as well as the lock screen picture on their phone for the rest of summer," Laxus shot out a hand for Freed to shake. "Deal?"

"It's your dignity, you can lose it however you please," Freed said with a grin, shaking Laxus hand with enough strength to send a thrill down his spine.

He couldn't focus on that, as Freed had darted towards the floating course. Laxus followed after him, leaving their friends to watch in equal amusement and tiredness.

~~~

It had been a good day, Laxus thought.

Though it might have started off rocky, with Laxus feeling as though his crush was starting to affect his budding friendship with Freed, it had gotten better as the day went on. Particularly good was when Laxus had proven Freed wrong in his assumption that he couldn't win the race on the obstacle course. It was incredibly satisfying to sit over him and watch as he changed all his social media icons to a picture of him yelling while going down the incredibly steep water slide.

That had seemed to break any ice between them, and the rest of the day had been spent having an easy and fun time together. They'd eaten, laughed, and at one point thrown Evergreen into the wave pool against her will; she had gotten back at Bickslow, the ringleader of the prank, by pouring ice cubes down the back of his shorts. It was child like fun, and Laxus felt like he needed it.

They had only left the water park when the sun had started to set. That had been a few hours ago, and they were back on the road again. It was pitch black now, the only light coming from the headlights of the truck and the few spotlights inside of it.

For quite a while now, Laxus was the only one awake.

Bickslow had been the first to go, falling asleep in the passenger seat and snoring gently. Evergreen was next, curling up on the bed despite Laxus' insistence that she not lie on it while they were moving. Freed was last, resting on his arms while leaning on the table, headphones plugged into his ears.

Laxus was quite enjoying the quiet of both the road and the RV. As much as he enjoyed spending time with his friends, they were all quite large personalities, and it was nice being able to sit in the quiet after the loud day he'd had. The fact that he could see the stars out of his windscreen was an added extra.

As the night went on, and Laxus found himself getting tired, he found a small truck stop that would allow for overnight parking. He pulled off the highway and into the parking lot, switching the engine off.

He was met with a sound that bordered on breathing and snoring. He looked over his shoulder and saw Freed was the source. He grinned a little.

Moving around the RV with as much cautious as he could, he made sure to lock all the doors and close and bolt all the windows. Then, once done, he gently shook Freed's shoulder to wake him up, but to no avail. He tried a few more times, but the man seemed unwilling to wake up. With a soft smile, Laxus carefully shifted his position so he was crouching. He cautiously hooked his arm under Freed's legs and lifted him up, the sleeping man showing no sign of waking.

He slowly moved him to the double bed, placing him beside Evergreen and resting his head on the pillow. After carefully sliding the covers over the two sleeping people, he gently ran a knuckle down his cheek. His skin was shocking soft.

Instead of lingering on the gesture he had done, he got to work on making the table booth into a makeshift bed. He picked up the travel pillow and tattered blanket and curled up into the bed, closing his eyes and letting the tiredness of the day overtake him. Lacking the energy to fight it, his mind supplied him with many images of Freed through the day, ending on him sleeping.

He definitely had lost control of his crush.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Three

Words: 4.5K

Warning(s): explicit language, sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

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I wake up to the smell of coffee drifting in under the bedroom door, and I stretch, seeing Nikki on his side of the bed, snoring softly.

Pulling the covers off of myself, I get up and throw on my robe to cover my naked body and step into the kitchen to see Karen at the counter.

Karen was Doc's best solution he could muster up to try to keep Nikki straight off drugs.

After calling Doc and Bob Timmons that night Nikki shot out our ceiling, Doc asked Karen, who worked at the Mötley office, to move in.

Hats off to her because she didn't argue, and Nikki did calm down a little when she was there because he was convinced she was a spy for Doc and was telling him what Nikki was doing at all times.

Nikki didnt want to hear shit from Doc, so he tried to hide his drug use from Karen when she was home.

"Good morning." She greets me, patiently waiting for the coffee to get done. "Sorry if I woke you up."

"No, no, it's fine, I needed to get up anyway, uh...what time is it?" I ask her, rubbing my eyes.

"About 9:00." She replies.

"Okay, I'm gonna wake him up and get ready and that reporter should be here around--"

I'm cut off by the doorbell and I look at her.

"You go wake him up, get him showered, I'll stall." She assures me, shooing me with her hand as she steps to open the door."

I rush to our bedroom and shut and lock the door, walking over to wake Nikki up.

"Babe, c'mon."  I nudge at him several times until he's groaning a little. "Nikki, wake up."

"Just climb on and get off when you're finished. I'm sure it'll still get up without me being awake." He mumbles tiredly, about to drift back off before I'm hitting his arm sternly.

"Nikki, you need to wake up. That reporter came early. We need to get dressed."

"Jesus." He lets out, frustrated, and I rub my lips together. His hazel eyes open to look at me and he smirks. "You're actually talking to me today?"

I've been ignoring him for nearly a week now ever since he broke our ceiling and embarrassed me in front of our friends.

"I'm getting into character so he doesn't write that I'm not talking to you in the article. Doc said to be as lovey as possible." I add. "So hurry up."

I walk to our bathroom and start the shower, quickly discarding my clothes and climbing in as he trudges into the bathroom.

By the time I'm rinsing shampoo from my hair, he's getting in, his eyes wandering up and down my naked body that currently has soapy water running down it.

"Don't get any ideas, Sixx, I'm still mad at you."

"What kind of man do you think I am?" He puts a hand over his heart as if he's hurt and I roll my eyes, finishing rinsing my hair.

"Move." I say so I can put conditioner in my hair and he grins, about to switch places with me, and his hands hold at my body as we trade spots and I glare at him.

"What? I was helping you move." He innocently states, the slightest hint of a smirk on his lips, and I cut my eyes at him.

He just wets his hair as I get the tangles out of mine with conditioner and we change once more.

By the time he's rinsing his hair again and I'm lathering up in body wash, I feel his finger trace down my spine.

"Nikki." I say in warning and I hear his faint chuckling.

"Sorry." He mumbles, taking his fingers off of me.

When I'm done, about to tell him I need to get under the water, his hands are sliding up my sides and he's getting closer to me, pulling me against him, taking my ear between his teeth in a nip.

"Nikki, we don't have time for this." I let out in a soft giggle.

"So?" He asks, pressing a kiss to my neck, his hands moving up to hold at my chest, rolling his thumbs over my nipples, causing me to take a sharp breath and push my ass against him.

He lets out a soft moan, and I turn to face him, our lips, teeth and tongues meeting in a rough, passionate, kiss, as my body is pulled against his.

"Are you still mad at me?" He says, running his thumb across my bottom lip, looking like he's confident that I'm not still upset with him.

"Get finished, we have stuff to do." I tell him, giving him one last kiss before sliding past him to rinse off.

"Change it to cold water before you leave." He grumbles and I smile to myself, changing the temperature of the water before getting out of the shower.

Once I get my hair towel dried and finish getting ready, I'm cautiously stepping into the hallway, walking where I hear Karen and the reporter talking at the dinner table. 

"Yeah, they..." Karen trails off, seeing me. "...Oh, here she is." She states.

He turns around to face me and I rub my lips together, extending my hand to him.

"Len Donoghue." He tells me, shaking my hand.

"Vivian Sixx." I reply, politely. "Um, Nikki's getting some clothes on now, he'll be here in a minute."

"Oh, starting Valentine's Day off right, huh?" He chuckles and I feel my face go red with embarrassment as Karen attempts to curve the conversation.

"You were saying earlier you attend night classes? What degree are you pursuing?" She asks him and I take the opportunity to step to the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee.

Nikki's already there, seeming to be stalling as he takes his time examining the array of coffee cups in our cupboard.

"You don't drink coffee, baby." I remind him and he glances at me before handing me a cup.

"I was supposed to wake up this morning to a blow job. Not a fucking hotshot know-it-all scribe jotting down every last syllable of shit I say only to fabricate and cut it up before printing it in a way that makes me look bad." He mumbles and I give him a soft smile, my fingers running through the ends of his hair.

"It will be okay, Nikki. Just smile and it'll be over before you know it." I encourage him.

He sighs out, kissing me briefly before I pour my coffee and we step to the dinner table, where Len is lighting up at the site of Nikki.

"Hey, man, Nikki." Nikki introduces himself, shaking Len's hand.

"Len Donoghue, it's a pleasure." He smiles enthusiastically at him and Nikki nods before motioning to the kitchen.

"I'm gonna cook some breakfast if you wanna start your interrogation in the kitchen." Nikki says in a joking tone, but in know he means "interrogation" literally.

"Sure." Len nods, the three of us stepping to the kitchen as Karen gets up and heads to her bedroom to hangout until we're done.

I hoist myself onto the counter, watching as Nikki pulls the eggs from the fridge and I tense up as I multiple paper bags on the shelves before he closes the fridge.

I hope Len didn't notice.

"You've even got that particular detailing in here." Len comments, looking up at the mirrored ceiling.

"Yeah, I read somewhere mirror creates the illusion of a more open room." Nikki tells him, grabbing a bowl to crack the eggs into.

"That's why the place is covered in mirror?"

"Yeah, why else would it be?" He pretends to play dumb, and Len glances at me before shaking his head a little. "No reason."

"When did you move into this place?" He asks us and Nikki starts cracking the eggs.

"Uhh...like..." He looks at me. "...Over a year ago? Year and a half?"

I just nod and he confirms it.

"Yeah, over a year ago."

"Who's idea was it to live out here?" He asks next and Nikki nods towards me.

"She liked the house and I got it once we had the money." He explains.

"That makes me sound like a gold digger." I say.

"Okay, we drove by one day and she said it was a nice house and I went behind her back and got it and surprised her with it once I had the money." He corrects and Len smiles.

"Is he always nice like that?" He asks me.

"Despite how he seems publicly, he's a nice guy." I tell him and Nikki shushes me as if I can't tell his secret, making me chuckle as he grins, pouring the eggs into the heated pan.

"There's a lot of mystery around you two, is that something that's good to you or backfires sometimes?"

"It's good." Nikki states. "It's really nobody's business unless we do stuff like this," he motions to Len, "And let people in on it."

"We don't necessarily understand what the big deal is about, honestly. There's plenty of people dating or married to someone who isn't quite like them. The fact we're in the public eye doesn't make it any more interesting, honestly." I add.

"Yeah, people would be disappointed if they saw how our relationship works just like everyone else's." Nikki puts in next.

"I think you two being together really invokes certain conversations because one of you is a by the book Christian, and the other has been accused of Satanism in the past." Len suggests with a small chuckle. "So you're pretty opposite of each other in that sense but you still manage to get along well enough to feel the need to marry one another."

"We're opposite of each other in every sense, almost." Nikki tells him, finishing on the eggs.

"Really?"

"She's more reserved, conservative, quiet, innocent, sober, religious, organized..." Nikki names off a few things. "...and there's me."

"I wanna touch on that, really, because 'sober' is not something associated with rockstars or really this industry much at all, really, with so much money and access to excess and so on, have you really never had a drink of alcohol or was that an exaggeration? I mean, really, your friends, husband, piers are doing God knows what and you've never at least been curious enough to try something out?" He asks me and I shake my head.

"No. And that's not something I ride through the streets and shout out or project at a party or use to talk down on other people with. I choose not to do that because it doesn't interest me, it interests some people, some people enjoy it, but I've never really been drawn to any of it. And especially the really hard stuff, I've never felt the need or allure to that because I've seen what it does to people. But I don't turn my nose up at people who want a beer after work or have some cocktails with their girl friends on a night out. I don't even think I'm any better than the addicts that claw their eyes out while they're on dope. That's their business." I tell him, and Nikki clears his throat, putting the eggs into a bowl to be scooped out by who ever that wants them as he pulls the package of bacon from the fridge next.

"So you're the trusted D.D. when it's a night out?" Len asks me and I nod.

"Oh, yeah." I nod.

"Back to the 'opposites' topic, how did someone like you, get together with someone like her?" He questions Nikki again and Nikki let's out a breath, smirking.

"The clean version." I warn Nikki and he laughs.

"Oh, c'mon, Viv." He nudges me and I raise my brows. "Okay, fine, we met at a club on the strip, Tommy introduced us, and he had told me she was coming down there to see us and that she was a dancer and her mom was super strict, and just telling me and Mick some things about her because he and Vince had grown up with her, but we'd never met her. So she comes down there, and she's dressed like a fucking--I don't even know, nothing like what I was use to seeing on the Strip. And we just couldn't stand each other, honestly. We would aggravate the piss outta each other, I'd harrass her and purposely do and say stuff that I knew would gross her out and she would pick at me and deliberately say shit to get under my skin and piss me off. I called her 'Saint Viv' and 'Virgin Viv' and she'd call me 'Devil Spawn' and we just really got on each other's nerves, man."

"What changed that?" He asks and I wait to see how Nikki's going to say "I screwed her into my ratty mattress" in a PG way.

"There was this one night, I don't even know what happened, but I just realized I was really, really into her, and I guess she realized the same because we've been together ever since." He tells him.

"So, it's worth all the criticism about you not being the real deal because you've 'settled down'?"

"I'm not an idiot, I know people dont talk shit because I've 'settled down', they talk shit about who I've 'settled down' with. And if being with someone who's got my back, and strives to push me be the best in can be, and supports me and helps me up when I need it, then I will loud and proud shout from the hills that I've 'settled down.' I write music based off what inspires me, some of Mötley's best songs have been inspired by the very girl I'm criticized for being with because they either think she's boring or isn't bad enough for me or whatever bullshit they drum up. But I don't need someone who's bad through and through, that would be a disaster. She's bad wear it counts." He informs him and I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Nikki!" I scold.

"I'm just saying." He shrugs. "And I'd hate being with someone who's exactly like me because then I wouldn't be learning new things, or having engaging conversation that challenges my views, or see a different perspective, and she wouldn't have that, either. So I think all the street rock posers downing on me for being with a 'goody goody' and the holier-than-thou Tipper Gore carbon copies that give Viv shit for being with a 'satan worshiper' can all kiss our asses and fuck off."

Len nods, looking impressed but not shocked with Nikki's words.

"Wanna add anything to that?" He asks me.

"Ditto." I reply and Nikki smiles at me for a moment.

After Nikki's finished cooking, we're sitting at the table, and get on the topic of music.

"Is there any idea when the new music will be coming out?" He asks Nikki and Nikki nods, taking a sip of his orange juice.

"Sometime this year." He says.

"Is it gonna have a 'Theater of Pain' feel to it or is it gonna hold the same change that, that album did compared to 'Shout at the Devil'?"

"Well, we change our sound because we grow. I don't think it's too far off, I think it's all still rock 'n roll, but the sound differs a little bit with each album because we evolve." He replies.

"Any album in particular that you've made so far that's a favorite or is the best yet to come?"

Nikki gets a happy, proud grin on his face.

"The best is yet to come." He states. "Some really cool stuff is in the works."

"I'm glad to hear that because I actually am a fan of you guys' so that's a good word from you." He tells him.

"Great." Nikki says, his bare foot kicking at mine under the table.

I kick back as Len is oblivious and continues asking questions.

"Are you into their music, too, or are you just along for the ride because you kind of have to be?" He nods to me as Nikki and I are now in a kicking war, despite acting like nothing's happening.

"Yeah, I like their music."

He looks a little taken back by my answer.

"You listen to Mötley Crüe without obligation?"

"Well, yeah." I tell him.

"She looks like a frilly flower girl so you don't expect that, right?" Nikki asks, and I kick him under the table and he kicks me back, again.

"What else do you listen to?" Len asks me.

"A little bit of everything. If it's catchy or has a good groove to it, it doesn't matter the artist, I'll buy it. I listen to ABBA, Chaka Khan, Hank William's Jr, Deep Purple, BeeGees..."

"And everything in between?"

"And everything in between." I chuckle. "I also have Bon Jovi but Nikki's always trying to steal it and get rid of it."

"You don't like Bon Jovi?" Len asks, seemingly insulted and Nikki looks at me with cut eyes and a devious smirk, like he's gonna get even with me, later.

"I like Jon, I've hung out with him several times, he's a cool guy. Vocally, he nails it every time. Lyrically, musically, I can't fucking stand it. It's like being stuck on the tea cups at Disney. You wanna get off before you throw up."

"So, you don't mind ABBA, but Bon Jovi's a no-go?"

"...Basically..." He rubs his eye. "But, I mean, I might tolerate some of it if she put it on and started doing a little strip tease or something. I'd consider it, then."

I glare at him and Len laughs, as Nikki smiles innocently at me.

Once we're done eating, we offer a tour of the house, which Len eagerly accepts.

"Obviously, living room." Nikki motions.

"What happened to the ceiling?" He asks, noticing the empty ceiling space.

"Nikki thought it would be smart to throw a baseball in the house. The whole ceiling suffered." I lie and Len raises his brows.

"I bet that was fun to clean up."

"We wouldn't know, we paid someone to come out here and do it for us." Nikki mumbles. "Alright, awards and achievements." He says next, motioning to his freshly reframed gold and platinum disc awards, and my ballet trophies I've racked up from childhood to the beginning of senior year, that Nikki practically made me put on display when we moved in because he thinks it's something I should be proud of enough to showcase to people.

"Guest bedrooms, and bathroom down here." Nikki motions down the hall. "Garage, here." We walk down a couple of steps to the garage door and open it up, switching on the light.

His bike, his Corvette and mine, greet us and Len nods.

"Nothing too extravagant." He voices to us.

"I'm looking at a blacked out Mercedes right now, I might end up getting it soon." Nikki tells him.

"Oh, really?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"I was gonna tell you about it later, babe." He assures me.

"Right, like you told me about the Jeep and the Harley?"

"Ha. Ha." He let's out sarcastically. "We have a pool." He quickly discards our disagreement, leading Len back up the steps and into the house to take him to the pool.

By the time the interview is at a closing, it's almost 1:00pm, and I hope he has enough material to make a decent article.

"Thanks for letting me come by, I really do appreciate it." Len thanks us, shaking my hand before shaking Nikki's hand one last time. "It was really an honor get to talk to you, man, good luck with the album. Can't wait to hear it."

"Thanks." Nikki replies.

"Alright, you two take care, have a good evening." He tells us, turning to walk to his car.

"You, too." Nikki says before shutting the door.

When it's shut, he's turning to look down at me.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"I'm probably gonna go get some stuff from town." He states and I nod.

"Okay, I'm probably about to hangout by the pool with Karen for a few minutes." I tell him, heading to our bedroom to put my swimsuit on.

I hear the fridge open and shut--he's grabbing some of his heroin--before he's telling me he'll be back in a few minutes.

Once the garage door shuts, I'm stepping out to find Karen in her bedroom.

"Hey," I start and she looks up from where she's laying on her bed, reading. "I was gonna go lay out for a few minutes, do you wanna come?"

"Yeah, I'll be out there in a second. Let me get changed."

The phone starts ringing and I head to answer it, hoping it's not someone calling to tell me Nikki's been in an accident.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" Steven's voice happily declares on the other end of the line.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I reply, stepping to the kitchen to grab a Pepsi from the fridge.

"I-Is Sixx around?"

"Not right now, he's running errands in town." I explain to him.

"Oh...well when he gets back can you get him to call me back?"

"Yeah. Is everything alright?"

"It's perfect. Love you. Gotta go." He abruptly hangs up and I furrow my brows a little, hanging the phone back up.

A few minutes into sunbathing, I'm laying on my stomach with my bikini string untied as Karen chats away while I drift in and out of sleep.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom." Karen tells me, getting up off her pool chair, heading into the house.

I give her a wave of my hand without opening my eyes, letting out a relaxed breath.

My body tenses for a moment at the feeling of Nikki's lips pressing the center of my spine, working their way up to my hair.

"Hi." I say, sitting up, tying my top back into place as he sits on my chair beside me. "Steven called and wanted you to call him back."

"He called again just when I got in so I already talked to him." He tells me and I nod. "I was out getting stuff for tonight." He wiggles his brows for a second and I try not to laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Some more wine for me, the fizzy grape juice for you, and some more candles."

"You don't like just screwing around with a candle on because you can't see everything." I point out and he smirks.

"I didn't buy them for light." He says and I raise my brows, a lusty feeling washing through me at the thought.

"Race you to the bedroom!" I shout, about to take off but he grabs at my hips and pulls me down to his lap, laughing at my eagerness. "Nikki, we don't have time to waste. I have carbonated grape juice to sip on and hot candle wax to be dripped in, and that's not even including the sleazy stuff that follows, so c'mon." I struggle to pull his arms from around my waist so I can get free.

"Viv, we'll get to that later tonight, you gotta get ready for your surprise." He tells me.

"I have a surprise?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"A surprise."

"Nikki."

"Viv."

"...Fine." I huff and he let's me out of his lap, handing me the roses he got me. "Where is this surprise?"

"Can't tell you. Just get changed, dress up a little bit if you want to." He tells me.

I guess he thought since he had died the year before, he should put his all into making up for it the following year.

I have to give it to him, he outdid himself that Valentine's Day...but he had some help.

"Okay, no peeking." Nikki says to me after securing the blindfold around my eyes and I grin, my hand in his as he helps me out of his Corvette.

I'm taken off guard by him suddenly picking me up, shutting the passenger side door with his foot.

"What are you doing?" I chuckle out.

"I don't want you to walk and hear your steps because it'll spoil the surprise."

"I feel you struggling to keep me up." I say to him, poking fun.

"I'm not struggling."

"Okay but if you drop me, I'm kicking your ass." I add.

"I'll kick your ass right back." He scoffs.

"Okay, then put me down and let's go, Sixx. Best two out of three."

"You're like a baby bird: all mouth." He taunts me.

"You're a baby bird: all whining."

"Virgin Vivian."

"Devil Spawn."

"Are you ready to see your surprise or are you gonna keep running your mouth?" He asks and I roll my eyes behind the blindfold and exhale.

"Fine."

He sets me down, and my heels click against the sound of wood.

"Alright, ready?"

"Yes."

The blindfold comes off, and Steven's firing off one of those tiny confetti poppers as he, Nikki and Duff all saying, "Tada!" at the same time.

We're standing inside of Mandy's old rehearsal space, except it's not shitty looking anymore.

The holes in the ceiling are patched up, it's got new lights, the floors are fresh and the once scratched up and worn down mirror is replaced, completely brand new.

I can't even form words, my eyes watering, my hand grasping Nikki's tightly.

"What do ya think?" Duff asks me.

"I-I..." I try to talk, but can't.

"Do you like it?" Nikki asks next and I'm turning to face him, wrapping my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly, nearly knocking him off balance. "Woah." He laughs, his hand rubbing up and down my back.

I'm wiping my tears when I pull away, catching his lips with mine when he leans down to kiss me for a second.

Knowing Duff was the one who bought the place from Mandy to begin with, I hug him to me next.

"Thank you." I sniffle out to him, giving him a tight squeeze before pulling away.

"It wasn't a problem, Viv." He assures me as Steven clears his throat.

"I wiped the finger prints off the mirror." He tells me and I smile, hugging him, too.

"Thank you." I say, ruffling his fluffy blonde hair.

Duff's grasping my hand, turning it over so my palm is facing upward before he's putting a key in it, closing my fingers around it.

I give him a genuine, grateful, closed-lip smile, and he returns it, his kind eyes seeming to have a spark of extra liveliness from being in his element of doing good things to make people happy.

I swear I can see Nikki scowling at us from the corner of my eye, but the look is gone from his face as soon as it arrives.

[skzluvs]

One last time; Seo Changbin

Genre: New year’s party! Angst; Some fluff towards the end

Warnings: Mild Swearing

Word count: 1.8K

A/N: Happy New year’s!!! To all my readers I want to take a moment and express my gratitude towards every single one of you. Thank you for reading my stories it honestly means the world to me. I know they might not be the best but for 2020 I hope to become a much better writer and provide you guys more projects so please look forward to it!! and keep on supporting me I will try my best to never disappoint you. I wish nothing but happiness and love for all of you. Thank you for making this year special💖

It was a cold night, the temperature reaching under minus 12 degrees Celsius, despite being in an almost freezing point state you were still there; standing in front of that apartment door debating if you should go In or turn around. Go Back home. Regretting all decisions from wearing such a short dress to even coming in the first place.

You were about to leave, at the realization that this was not your place. That his friends were inside and that there was a possibility that he was there as well, having fun. Unlike you who was suffering from the unfortunate weather.

You grabbed onto your bag and turned your heels to walk off to the elevator. As you were turning around; something made a "click" sound alongside with the twisting of a door knob.

" Y/N is that you?..." Jeongin asked stepping out of the door frame in order to get a full view of the person he was talking to.

You turned back slowly cursing the universe for not letting you with this one.

" Hi Jeongin it's been a while" you said with a nostalgic smile.

The boy had grown taller and you definitely missed him, you missed all of your friends but you understood their reasons behind staying with Him when everything happened. Certainly you didn't blame them.

“I’ve missed you" he said with eyes sparkling. Little tears were forming under his eyes but yet he still had the brightest smile.

Memories came back to you at the look of the youngest. You remembered how he pretended to be annoyed all the time by you and Changbin. Because both of you baby him too much. But deeply inside  was still the happiest due to the amount of love he received. He acted like a spoiled brat but you guys loved him anyways.

" Y/N!!, Jeongin what are you two doing outside it's freezing cold" The host said coming out of his apartment. Excited because you came, just as you told him you will earlier when he called you multiple times trying to convince you until you gave in.

The three of you went inside and Felix didn't wasted time to pull you into a hug.

"I'm glad you came" He said whispering in your ear.

"You basically forced me to” You said jokingly.

You spotted the rest of the boys near the kitchen counter. Laughing and having a good time.

Felix noticed how you were looking at your friends and he knew you had missed them just as much as they missed you.

He didn't hesitate to grab your hand and drag you through the people that was dancing on the living room.

"Look who's here" Felix said trying to caught the other's attention.

When they turned their heads to see you that you were the person Felix was trying to introduce, they couldn't believe it. They were so astonished. 

They almost suffocated you while trying to pull you into the warmest most welcoming group hug.

"Wow I'm flattered you guys really couldn't live without me huh” You said and all of them bursted into laughs.

It felt nice. Being with them like the old times.

For once your didn't regretted the decision of making your so awaited appearance tonight.

But deeply inside you knew something was still missing. You hated the fact that even in between laughs yours eyes scanned the whole room; expecting to find that person somewhere, in every corner. Smiling at you like the first time.

A thought crossed your mind; that you could no longer dwell on that pain. That as a New Year approached you had to leave your past mistakes behind. That you had to leave Him once and for all.

Chan offered you a glass of your favorite wine at the look of your face, he immediately knew you needed it.

Because to forget it takes more than a couple of drinks.

You were finally starting to have fun. Losing up to the carmine liquid on your lips. But it ended too quickly. Everything became blurry when you saw the front door opened. When a certain someone walked through it and your whole world began to crumble.

Your hands began to sweat and there was a knot on your throat that tighten at the firm steps he made towards you.

You grabbed onto Hyunjin, your legs became weak and you thought you would collapse at any moment.

You were not expecting to meet him ever again.

Not tonight.

Because you had began the year next to him but for unavoidable motives you were not going to end it together. Your relationship was nothing but a burden.

Or at least it was for him. You believed.

"Y/N..." He said softly almost as a whisper.

His voice;  you haven't listened to it in months. You had lost count of the days, because the pain was unbearable. You missed it so much you used to replay the songs he made for you, crying to sleep every night to them.

Seo Changbin was the only man you ever loved.

But he took your heart with him, he was still wearing it on his sleeve.

" Changbin, not the right moment " Minho said placing a hand on his chest trying to make him back away from you.

" Y/N please look at me" He spoke so sweetly. Evidently he still had an effect on you. But your eyes avoided his at all costs. Knowing you would fall for those sparkly orbs once again.

No one dared to say a word. The festive atmosphere was transformed into an uncomfortable silence.

" I know you hate me, and you have all right to do so but let me talk to you. Just for a minute, It won't take long. I promise"

In your head you were debating if it was the right thing to do. If after all He did He deserved a second of your time. And you undoubtedly knew the answer.

He didn't.

He caused a storm with his hands and let it rain on you.

Notwithstanding, You were the only one who deserved an answer. An explanation to the cowardliness of his actions.

You were determined to close this chapter of your life.

You lifted your head for the first time. You were nothing to be ashamed of unlike him.

Changbin noticed your sudden change in attitude when you stared at him with dark pupils. You nodded and signaled him to follow you. As you began to walk off your group of friends.

To say everyone was shocked it'll an understatement.

Changbin didn't wasted any more time and ran his way to your side. You guided him to the terrace. Where it'll be quiet enough for you to discuss the matter.

You opened the door and walked without looking back, stopping your tracks close to the railing; resting your elbows on top of it as you admired the city lights.

Changbin closed the door behind you; hoping to have as much privacy with you as possible. He stood next to you. Sightseeing the scenery. The only audible sound was your inconsistent breathing.

"It's a beautiful night isn't it?" He said sighing.

" Changbin did you brought me here to waste my time. Say what you've wanting to say and you better make it quick. I want to go back before the counting starts" Your words being just as cold as the wind.

" I'm sorry. I know you didn't came here tonight to listen to pathetic excuses. I know you were tying to have fun. Receive the Year with open arms surrounded by the people you love. I sincerely apologize for ruining everything, and I'm not solely talking about the party" His voice cracking a few times.

You were trying to contain the tears that were treating you to fall down your rosy cheeks.

" Let me begin; By saying that I have missed you. That there's not a single day I don't wake up imagining your body next to me.

That I was wrong all along, what I did was unforgivable. And you are worthy to know that I was a fucking asshole.

Because I neglected our relationship.

And you truly deserved someone much better that a boyfriend who put everything from His job, His Friends, His family above the love of his life" He began to sob and you whimpered quietly facing the other way so he couldn't see you crying at his speech.

"And I know that it'll be out of pure selfishness to say that I want you to come back. 

When I was the one who left.

I have regretted that night for the longest time.

When I walked out of our apartment at the sight of you imploring for me to not leave you.

The truth is I was incapable to handle such a caring soul as yours"

"But Y/N just please let me hold you one more night

When the clock hits 12 you can erase me from your life.

I'm begging you to let me kiss you one last time" A desperate tone and pleading eyes.

" I don't know if it's the alcohol in my veins or the your words that have me under a spell" You said struggling to get the words out of your mouth.

" My heart it's telling me this isn't right. Forgiving you so easily for all the pain you have caused. Nonetheless... I never stopped loving you" How hard was for you to confess to him again. It was the reality you lived in. Where love overtook your emotions. Where your strong facade fell right through reveling vulnerability.

"Allow me to make up for my past mistakes" He said sincerely.

You didn’t have to reply. When he already knows that all you've wanting is to hold him tight.

He places his arms onto your waist and makes your head rest on his broad shoulder.

You looked at your phone. One minute till the New Year arrives.

" On 2019 I failed to keep you by my side. But I'm not letting you go this year" He said holding both of your hands trying to raise the temperature of your body.

" Not only for a new year together but for the rest of our lives" You said over his lips and moved them at the rhythm of the fireworks and the background music coming from the inside.

It was an explosion of love and desire.

Cheers for a New beginning. For a love that prevails even when it's been washed away once the storm is over the sunshine comes up.

" Happy New Year’s My love" He said kissing you one more time. Eating your lips furiously. Not wasting any more time.

" Looking forward to spend it with you" You replied snuggling on his chest lost on his beautiful face ignoring anything else that surrounded you.

He made you stay by holding you one last time. Let’s see what this year awaits for the both of you.

[motleyfuckingcruee]

The Outsider (Nikki Sixx x Reader)

Chapter 5

Summary:

It's your first night on the streets of LA. You have just arrived and you have nowhere to sleep. You meet Nikki at a bar and he offers to let you stay with him. You are the outsider.

Warnings:

Language, fluff, abuse, considering smut

THE SONG THIS IS BASED OFF OF:

The Outsider

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!

YOU CAN READ CHAPTER FOUR HERE

COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE ON A TAGLIST! OR GO TO MY BIO TO ADD YOURSELF TO ONE!

//

It's been two months since the band fully formed. Vince has been great! His voice fits what Nikki is going for perfectly. You've grown close with all of them. Even Mick.

It took a bit longer to break Mick's walls down, but you managed to do it. Underneath that scary demeanor, Mick is actually an insanely sweet guy. You think of him as your brother.

Usually when Tommy and Vince would go out drinking or go to strip clubs, You, Mick, and Nikki would stay at the apartment. You would drink and just talk. You love those nights. They're the most calming.

About a month ago they decided on the name Mötley Crüe for the band. It fits them well. Four people from different backgrounds coming together to make something fucking awesome. You couldn't be more proud.

Nikki wants to have elaborate shows in the clubs, almost as if they were playing at a stadium. You're not sure how that's going to work out, but as long as they're happy.

Tonight is their first show. Nikki has been freaking out all day. He's been pacing throughout the apartment all day.

You're sitting on the couch. Your eyes follow Nikki as he paces in the living room.

"Nik." No answer. His eyes are narrowed in thought. "Nikki." Still nothing. He doesn't even glance in your direction. "NIKKI SIXX!" You yell.

His eyes finally snap up to meet yours. He raises his eyebrows, seeming annoyed that you interrupted him.

"Why are you acting like this?" You laugh. "It's not like you've never been on stage before."

He walks over and flops down on the couch. He rests his head in your lap. He stretches out his legs, causing them to hang over the side of the couch. You start running your fingers through his soft black hair.

He sighs. "I just know that this band is going to do great. We've rehearsed a lot and it sounds good, but a band has to sound good together up on stage in front of people that aren't you and Vince's chick. Otherwise, it just won't work out."

You smile reassuringly. "You guys will do great. Quit your worrying and watch a movie with me. There's still like five hours before we have to go."

He smiles. "Or we could do something else."

"Don't make me push you off this couch."

"But we haven't had sex since last night!" Nikki whines.

You laugh. "Then you can wait until after the show."

He frowns, groaning. "Alright. What movie are we watching?"

-------

Multiple hours later, you sit backstage helping all the boys with their hair and makeup. You stand in front of Tommy, teasing his hair the best you can. He said he wanted it to be big. You're trying the best you can, but Tommy's hair isn't the most cooperative. And neither is Tommy.

"Tommy, sit still or I will duct tape you to the chair," You growl, gettimg more and more frustrated at him.

You move down to do his makeup.

He smirks at you. "Sounds kinky."

"Don't hit on my girlfriend, T-Bone," Nikki nearly yells from next to you.

You don't jump. You're used to his sudden outbursts. If he hadn't have yelled at Tommy you'd think he's sick.

"Nikki calm down. Go put on your fabulous outfit," You giggle, applying Tommy's lipstick.

"How long are you going to tease me about that?" Nikki groans, walking over to his bag. He pulls out a stripped singlet, his leather pants, and these red leather thigh high boots that are absolutely gorgeous.

"You made me go buy those boots for you because you didn't want too. I'm going to tease you about it for a long time," You pause, taking step back to observe your handiwork. You grab the stuff that Nikki gave you to apply the signature marks that Nikki came up with. "And the bad part is you won't let me wear the goddamn boots." You put two lines on Tommy's left cheek. "All done," You say, leaving Tommy and walking over to your overprotective boyfriend. You wrap your arms around his neck. In return he rests his hands on your hips. You kiss him on the cheek, not wanting to smudge his lipstick. "I love you."

This causes his frown to break into a smile. "I love you too."

He leans forward to press his lips against yours. You stop him with a grin on your face. He looks at you with a sad, confused expression.

"You're going to smudge your lipstick," You say. "And I'm not going to fix it."

"Damn it!" Nikki exclaims, turning around so that he can change his clothes.

You giggle at him. Vince walks over to you, grinning deviously.

"Does that mean I can get a kiss? I don't have any makeup on yet," He says.

You only roll your eyes. "In your dreams, Neil. I'll stick to kissing my boyfriend."

"One day," Vince says. "You'll kiss me."

"I highly doubt that, Vinny."

Just then some guy sticks his head through the door. "You guys need to get on the stage now."

They all nod, rushing out the door. Tommy gives you a kiss on the cheek. Nikki glares at him for a few moments, then walks over to kiss you.

"Have fun," You say.

You can still see the nervousness in his eyes. You don't understand why. He's been on stage before. It's nothing new. You know he explained it, but it still didn't make sense.

"I will," He responds, resting his forehead against yours. "Will you be front row?"

You nod, pecking his lips. "Aren't I always? I'm your biggest fan, Sixx. I always will be."

"Is that a promise?"

You nod. You pull away from him, even though you don't want to. You start pushing him out the door.

"Get your ass out on stage."

As he looks at you, you realize that he smudged his lipstick by kissing you. Goddamn it. You totally forgot in the heat of the moment.

You walk out from backstage. You make your way to the front row, smiling when you see that you're directly in front of Nikki. Vince introduces them, looking full of energy. Tommy starts the beat, Mick and Nikki quickly following not a second later. Vince's voice reverberates off of the bar's walls.

They sound fucking epic.

About an hour later they finish up their set. Nikki came off the stage, lifting you up in his arms and spinning you around.

"How'd we do?" He asks, breathless.

"Fucking amazing!" You exclaim, kissing him.

He smiled into the kiss, putting you back down on your feet.

"Man, the girl I remember never cussed," A familiar male voice says from behind you.

You turn, meet with the same blue eyes you've been avoiding. Fucking Jared.

"What do you want?" You nearly growl.

Jared holds his hands up innocently. "I just want to talk."

You bite your lip, looking at Nikki who is on edge. He looks like if Jared even takes another step towards you, he'll rip him to pieces.

"Alright," You sigh. "Nik, you can go ahead and go to our usual table. I'll meet you and the boys in a bit."

"Bu-," He tries, but you cut him off.

"I'll be fine," You say. "Go on."

He leans down and kisses you again. You know his lipstick got on your lips again, but you didn't really care.

You smile as he says, "Yell if you need me."

You nod, watching him give one last glare to Jared, then walking off.

You let Jared lead you outside. He leans against the brick wall of the bar. You pull your cigarettes out of pocket. Jared's eyes widen as you put the stick between your lips and light it. You take a drag, waiting for him to tell you the reason he dragged you out here.

"What do you want?" You repeat.

"I wanted to know why you left," He responds, watching you smoke with an odd expression on his face. It makes you feel uncomfortable.

"I was suffocating in that town. I needed to get out, and I did," You say simply.

Jared sighs. "When did he become apart of your life?"

"The day I got here," You answer, not really wanting to give him the full story. He doesn't deserve it.

You both stand quietly as you finish your cigarette. He watched you the entire time. That suffocating feeling you felt where you were raised comes washing over you once again. Fuck.

You stomp the cigarette out. You turn to back in the bar. "Well if that's it-."

You're cut off by Jared gripping your upper arm hard. So hard you're sure it'll leave bruises.

"What the fu-."

"You're not going anywhere," Jared growls, a familiar menacing glow in his eyes.

It's something you're used to. Something you endured for years. You thought you escaped it. With Jared back, you're prepared to take the beatings once again.

Tags:

All fics: @the--blackdahlia @sugar-content @sharon6713 @siliwanoel @charlyallise

Nikki: @moon-beame @slutfor-sixx @2dead2function @horrorpxnk

This fic: @celestica-1988 @miriampraez @scarecrowmax @fandomshit6000 @freddiessmallnipples