#and it's not easy to access them from where i am so i don't think i'm gonna bother

[mortalityplays]

You need more free art.

I quit my job yesterday. Well, actually I quit my job eight weeks ago, but they finally released me yesterday for good behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - but I do it for the wrong reasons. Working for major charities, you learn very fast that 'I want to make the world a better place' is a phrase you use to ask people for money, not to give them things. I was an ass-backwards fit for that world.

You need more free art. I need more free art. Everyone has felt the shift in our media landscape over the last ten years, away from access and towards nickel-and-diming the human experience. That lack of access is making life and culture worse for all of us, across the board. Paywalled news sites leave us less informed, attacks on the Internet Archive leave us less capable of research. Algorithmic social feeds and streaming walled gardens trap us inside smaller and smaller demographic bubbles, where we are increasingly only likely to encounter ideas that have been curated for us by marketing departments. Hasty efforts to resist AI commodification have only led to more artists locking their work away and calling for even more onerous systems of copyright law. This is not good for us.

We all need more free art.

So what am I going to do about it?

This is a question I have been asking myself for years. It's easy to sit here feeilng frustrated and thinking 'boy I hope SOMEONE does SOMETHING'. It's harder to take action in a world where I still have rent to pay. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes hard just means time-consuming, frustrating and slow. And sometimes it's worth doing something time-consuming, frustrating and slow because...I want to make the world a better place.

I'm going to do this:

1. From April 1st, I am relaunching as a freelance writer and editor.

This is the one that will (hopefully) help to pay the bills. I am a very good and experienced editor. I've worked on hollywood movies, I'm a member of the Chartered Institute of Editors and Proofreaders, I have clients who have been coming to me exclusively for more than 10 years.

Alongside bigger contract jobs, I am going to refocus on offering my services to small-press creators at a reduced rate. That means you, graphic novelists. That means you, itch and amazon writers. I want to help you develop your work, the same way I help large organisations. You can learn more about what an editor even does and what kind of pricing you can expect here.

2. I'm also going to start giving shit away. Like, constantly.

Next week I'm going to launch a new free shop. If you're unfamiliar, a free shop, giveaway shop, swap shop, etc. is an anarchist tradition of setting up a storefront where anyone can take what they like for no cost. Offline, this often means second-hand clothes, tools, furniture, food etc. Online, I am going to be giving away digital art. Copyright-free, no strings attached. It will (eventually) feature everything from print-res posters to zines, poems, tattoo flash, t-shirt designs and anything else we come up with.

Yes, I said 'we' - while this is a curated collection, it will feature work from a variety of credited and anonymous artists and activists, all of whom have agreed to give their work away to the public domain. Some of it will be practical, some of it will be political, but a lot of it will be decorative or personal. This is, in part, a response to recent difficulty I had finding somewhere that would print a one-off joke poster for a friend that featured the word 'faggot'. Enough. No middlemen - no explaining ourselves. Just print our shit and enjoy it.

I'm very, very excited about this project. I'll have more to say about it closer to the launch, but you can expect it to go live on March 27th.

2.2 I forgot to mention the ACTUAL LAUNCH GIVEAWAY

To celebrate my launch, I am going to be giving away a ton of physical prints. When I went looking for my old stock to see if it was worth setting a new (paid) storefront up, I realised I had way more old work in storage than I thought. This will be announced in its own right on Monday, but this is why I've been hinting you should go follow my Patreon.

On April 1st, I will pick 8 random patrons (from across all tiers including non-paying followers!) and mail them a bundle of assorted prints and postcards. The prize pool includes A3 and A4 posters, packs of A6 postcards, and printed minicomics that I've previously sold for up to £12 each.

You don't have to be a paying subscriber to enter - this is strictly no-purchase necessary. It is purely and entirely a celebration of the concept of GIVING ART AWAY FOR FREE.

3. PORN, YOU PERVERTS

Because I still have to pay to stay alive, I am going to be subsidising all this free art with the introduction of Fuck You Fridays. Starting from March 29th, I will drop a new 18+ short story on the last Friday of every month, over on itch.io (yes I know my page is desolate right now, don't worry I'll get there).

The first edition, Go Fuck Yourself, is about, well - telling your boss where to stick it. Julia has had it with her millionaire man-child manager, and is just about ready to let him know what she really thinks. It's a short and steamy 5k words, with a gorgeous cover illustration by @taylor-titmouse, and you can pick it up for $3 starting from March 29th.

4. ANOTHER BIG SURPRISE

I'm keeping this one under wraps for now, but April 1st will also play host to one more (FREE) launch. If you've been following me for a long time, you might remember the other significance of this date (no not April Fool's day, though that is certainly thematically relevant to this entire effort). That's all I'll say right now. Watch this space.

tl;dr: I'm sick of paywalls and career ladders. I'm literally putting my money where my mouth is. More free art for everyone and I'm not kidding around!!!

[qqueenofhades]

Obviously no pressure to post this, but wanted to offer a resource/action-item for the like-minded, since your politically-adjacent posts get a bit more reach. And this seems as good a time as any?

The group is called VoteRiders, and I volunteer for them. We help people (for free) to get the identity documents needed to vote. If you live in a state with voter ID laws (or it's your first time voting in a federal elelction) and you don't have a photo ID, they'll help. If that means getting your birth certificate from out of state, or a social security card, getting you a ride to the DMV, paying the document fees, etc. They can (usually) help with name change documents, if you got married or transitioned. Maybe you just have questions about voter ID in your state, or are confused about how to get your absentee ballot. We have a phone number you can call OR: you can text! Facebook message us! There is a chatbot that will get some info until a volunteer logs on! You don't need to talk to a human person. You can access the chatbot/insta messenger on voteriders.org, or call/text 866-ID-2-VOTE (8664328683).

The other reason I'm promoting this: obviously you can volunteer in the usual ways (being the person helping/answering questions). But if you want to get involved and you have anxiety, there are ways you can volunteer that don't/barely involve talking to a live person! You could answer the FB messages/chatbot, where you say "let me look that up for you" if you need more time (the drawback: you have to get comfortable clicking around secretary of state websites). OR: they have letter writing campaigns! They send you a document with the voter ID laws for a certain state printed on it, and you write a little personal message about why you think it's important for people to vote (drawback: finding a place to print (i use the library) and you have to provide your own envelopes/stamps).

Anyway, i just wanted to offer options for people who both need help and want to help. A few ways to feel in control of our destiny.

This sounds like an excellent resource and I am happy to boost it. So yes, for anyone who is feeling freaked out by the media kerfuffle/terrible SCOTUS immunity decision, here is something you can do to make important change in an easy way, and doesn't even require you to interact with people directly! Check it out.

[traumasurvivors]

I am finally putting together a FAQ for easy access for people new to my blog since a lot of these posts I think are helpful are buried. Some of these links link to posts on my blog, but some link to my personal website. My website is not monetized in any way, so there should be no ads or anything intrusive.

About Coping

How can I make a self-care box?

Here's some instructions I wrote!

What are some ways I can ground myself?

Here is an article with a bunch of examples, but there are so many more that aren't listed here!

I'm struggling with trauma around the holidays and/or a traumaversary.

Here's an article I wrote on trauma around the holidays!

Here's an article I wrote with advice for traumaversaries.

General Trauma FAQ

Do I have to forgive them in order to heal?

The short answer is "no." What everyone needs differs. While someone may need to forgive as a part of their healing journey, this isn't necessarily true for everyone. Here's a post I wrote about this.

What is trauma bonding?

This term is often used in a colloquial sense when two people who have suffered trauma bond together over their trauma. This article talks about the technical definition and is about how someone going through trauma forms an emotional bond with the one who is traumatizing or abusing them.

Was it bad enough?

The short answer is yes. But you can read a longer blog post for why here.

I'm struggling with anger after trauma.

That's a really valid way to feel. Here is some more info on it.

What is hypersexuality and/or sex repulsion?

See this article here.

What is Trauma Imposter Syndrome?

This is when a survivor invalidates themselves by saying something like “my trauma isn’t so bad, other people have it worse than me.” Here's my post on it.

How do I talk about my trauma?

First, remember that you do not have to talk about anything you don't want to. But if you do, here are some tips I have.

How do I listen to someone talk about their trauma?

The first thing I want you to remember, when someone tells you that they want to talk to you about their trauma, is that their needs do not negate your own needs. Here's my post on it.

Is Healing Linear?

No. Healing is a rollercoaster. Here's a post on it.

About Abuse and Specific Forms of Trauma

What are some different types of abuse?

Physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, cultural abuse. You can read more about these here.

What is Medical Trauma?

It is a vast term that includes many different things, mostly linked to major emotional distress that occurs as a result of hospital stays, illness, or treatment (so yes, therapy trauma is valid.) You can see my longer article here.

What is Parentification?

Parentification is a form of abuse where a child is forced to take on the role of a parent. You can see my longer article here.

Why do I love and/or miss my abuser?

Nothing is wrong with you if you love and/or miss your abuser. There are any number of reasons why you could be feeling this way, and I will share some examples with you. You can see my article on this here!

Other

Are they trying to manipulate me?

While there isn't a clear cut guide, some of the points in this article might help you in getting more information about one of your relationships.

What is consent?

Consent is a freely-given yes. See this post here.

How can I be prepared for sex?

See this post here.

I also wrote this article that covers the same points as the first post, but focuses from a trauma perspective. A lot of the info is the same.

Why is it important to validate my feelings?

See this post here.

I'm struggling with self-harm/What is self-harm?

Here's a post on this.

[voidy-vibing]

This is probably gonna be my last post about the Zerum drama but here is a full breakdown of what happened and what I understood! Thank you @obbystars for showing me the tweet and screenshots. (also sorry for the tag)

So.

Zerum, the co-creator of Pressure, who's sona is canonically married to Sebastian has been getting constantly harrassed, bullied, and been given death threats.

There have been alllegations in which they are anti-selfship, transphobic and ableist.

To start off bit by bit.

Zerum was NEVER anti-selfship/oc x sebastian. In the Official Pressure discord server, there is a rule where people are not allowed to show ship art with ANY of the Pressure characters as all devs aren't comfortable with it. While they do not allow it in the official discord, they are not BANISHING shipping as a whole and people are allowed to do whatever they want.

People have been calling Zerum possessive, insecure, and a hypocrite because their reaction to people thinking 'Sebastian x Zerum is a joke not canon' was a pretty bad one. It was not professional, and people were right to get mad about their behavior but responded A THOUSAND TIMES worse. They sent Zerum countless death threats, insulted them, and they also griefed the Pressure Fandom Wikipage (the unofficial one) with a Sebastian x Zerum divorce fanfic (its fucking crazy).

People took the fact that Sebastian has a wedding ring as something to SPITE the Sebastian shippers, but to me it really seemed like setting in stone a thing that was already meant to be canon, as many ppl thought it was a joke.

The transphobic allegations came from the fact that Zeal made Zerum post a rule that Sebastian art with him in a dress isn't allowed. This was a rule ZEAL wanted, and they only banned it on the official discord server, and do not care for anywhere else. They just do not think it fits Sebastian's character ig. Its kind of weird to me, but its whatever.

The abelist allegations came from the fact that Zeal, when adding the deaf accessibility setting, didn't take on some tips from the deaf community. This I don't know a whole lot about so I'm not gonna delve deeper into it rn.

And finally, people think that the devs are mischaracterizing Sebastian by making him more snarky lines, or the ability to kill you, as a way for Zerum to 'fend off' the simps. This is not true, due to the fact that the voicelines for Sebastian killing you was recorded BEFORE there was the huge popularity for Sebastian. This is not something that was per say targetted at Zerum, but Sebastian has TOLD that he has been forced to help the Players. He doesn't help the Expendables because he is caring- he helps out of being forced to ans out of NECESSITY. It says in the wiki that Sebastian gets the data from the Expendables for blackmail (or probably something whatever in regards of escape ofc), and he simply sees the Players an easy means to get said data. Just because he is snarky because you literally flash his eyes fucking dry does not mean they are changing his character. He is still funny and sarcastic, but there are consequences to your actions and that'll be him getting mad ar you if you annoy him too much. It is very fair imo.

So no, perhaps in canon, Sebastian would not care for the players but it doesn't stop anyone from shipping or simping. He just manipulates us into thinking he cares in the game yes, but fandoms such as ourselves really shouldn't need to be mad or necessarily care over this aspect. This new update shows Sebastian's true colors VERY WELL and it is infact in-character for the game's story context. This does not mean you can't change it to your own liking, self-indulgence comes with being in fandom, and no one is gonna shame you for that nor should you shame someone else. I understand if people are upset over these new stuff about him, but I can make a seperate post to speak about this more clearly, I only wanted to try and explain it.

So yeah.

I really truly hope this does not seem like I am attacking, targetting, or hating on someone. If allegations with the devs or Zerum change, they'll change, but it's important to take every perspective and keep an open mind.

[starlightomatic]

ngl feel really really weird about the direction we've gone wrt internet safety for teens. when i was a kid it was hammered into us that we should never reveal our real names, our faces, or our ages on the internet. in fact it was extremely important not to reveal your age bc if you did, predators could target you.

now we've decided that the locus of potential sexual harm from adults is not predators who set out to target teens, but rather well-meaning adults who might accidentally let a minor see smut on their blog. so we make everyone broadcast their ages to everyone. which puts a target on the backs of teens who are now advertising to everyone that they're underage.

we also situate sexual harm of minors in "a minor saw sexual content!!" which, listen, im sorry to tell you this but teenagers have sex drives and want to see sexual content. a 16yo is not being harmed by reading a smut fic.

now i do understand why nsfw blogs don't allow minors to interact, bc the interaction constitutes an issue since that's on some level a teen and adult interacting sexually. but the issue is not that a teen saw something sexual, it's that you should not be having that interaction with them. still i am not convinced that that is riskier than giving predators knowledge of who to target.

i also worry what happens when all the well meaning people with best practices turn teens out of their spaces -- who does that end up leaving them with? i'm not saying the solution is to invite them in but there has to be some other, third option. i also think we need to understand the difference between a 17yo liking a sex-related shitpost on tumblr vs an actual intentionally predatory sexual interaction from an adult.

i don't think it's necessarily bad to set a boundary and not allow them to like the shitpost, but i don't like the idea that it was harmful for them to have even seen it. i think it's actually positive for teens to have exposure to adults who are talking about sexuality in consent-based, sex-positive, queer-informed ways to balance out all the shitty, sexist bioessentialist perspectives they're getting elsewhere.

also again, we should remember that the issue is sex-based interactions between teens and adults, NOT that teens are bad or wrong for being interested in sex and sexuality. if a really young teen is too interested in that it could be concerning but age-appropriate levels of sexuality are fine and good and i don't want kids to think they're wrong, dirty, or bad for experiencing sexuality.

i think there's a balance here where we need to make sure interactions are safe without diving headfirst into a spring-awakening-style world where we assume teens are too innocent and pure to know anything about sex which results in risky behavior, not practicing safe sex, and not understanding consent. and i get worried sometimes that the current culture around this leads us there.

i especially worry about this in regards to kink and bdsm because i don't know if there are any educational resources out there geared to teens. i do think it's a good idea to wait until you're 18 before doing anything hardcore or too intense, or even kink at all, but if they're going to anyway (and some will) i'd rather teens have a solid safety backing and knowledge as opposed to just acting on instinct because that can really be dangerous. and something i really worry about is people who turn 18 and immediately show up to play parties and start hooking up with people without having that background knowledge because they were prevented from accessing it before then, since it's so easy for abusers to exploit them. young adult women are already extremely vulnerable in those spaces.

i don't know what my exact solution to these issues is but i feel really concerned about where we're heading. i've been wanting to say something for a while but have been afraid that people would interpret this the wrong way. i'm sure some still will, but i hope this can at least start a conversation about these issues.

[lustlovehart]

Hi!! I have never requested anything before, so I really hope that I am doing this right!! So I have been thinking about Scaramouche and reader having a secret relationship. One day they are making out in his office (still kind of sfw) and just before it gets too steamy, a subordinate knocks on the door and they both have to act like nothing happened with flushed faces 🤭🤭

I really hope that you get what I mean😭 It would be very nice, if you accepted this request!!/nf Thank youu!!!!!!!!

A/n: Coincidentally enough, I actually had something in my wips with this same prompt. Also, I may have gone a biiitt away from the exact request, but I think I still kept most of what you wanted!!

Summary: Sometimes the two of you are too absorbed with eachother to notice what surrounds you.

Warnings: Extremely Suggestive but no explicit NSFW, marking, like one sentence of angst

People in the fatui talk, there is no doubt about that in your mind. They don’t exactly try to hide their whispers, nor do they try to to disguise their gossip. All they can truly do is protect what leaves their mouth with the thin barrier of their hand covering what they say. Though, there has been one topic of note that every fatuus has been spouting as of recently,

“Are any of the harbingers in a romantic relationship??”

"Not sure... They seem to be very focused on the work the Tsaritsa bestows upon them."

"You're right... Though, it would be interesting, dont you think?"

Your hand immediately slams onto the harbingers expensive wooden desk, an attempt to catch yourself before you fall onto the hard flooring. Your neck is bent toward the left, allowing the man in front of you easy accesses to the area.

"Kuni.... Could you not wait... Ha... Until you're off the job...?" Your fingers are intertwined with his violet strands, his own hands in turn roaming up and down your body, wrinkling your uniform.

His lips pop off your skin, the feeling of wet salvia being felt. You can't see it, but if you did you're sure it would be extremely noticeable.

"Why would I wait? We can just do it now."

The two of you are only meant to collect paperwork for an upcoming exchange with another fatui branch, you have no idea how this had came to be.

His left arm reachs to your bottom, hoisting you up onto the surface of the table, his other hand wiping any items on the top to the floor, loud clangs echoing through the room.

"Don't you need those? What if they're broken...?"

"Don't focus on that, pay attention to me. Besides, my budget is enough to cover it anyway."

Right, Fatui Harbinger... Rich. His fingers grip onto the back of your head pulling you into him as his mouth immediately connects to your own. You're sure you can feel literal static surrounding the two of you as your lips lock against on another.

To him, though his body might not be human, every feeling you give him is enough to make him feel truly alive. If he had the choice to choose between you and godhood, he's sure he wouldn't know what to pick.

It doesn't matter now though, if he has you, he's sure life for him won't be as pitiful as it once was.

When you try pulling away from the exchange his lips follow you like magnets, it's only when you push away with more force does he remember that you need air, unlike the vessel he holds with a limitless lung capacity.

Your forehead is rested against his as you pant, a thin line of saliva still connecting the two of you, the man's hands is still groping at whatever piece of skin he could reach, a laugh leaving his throat as he looks at the flustered state you're in.

"What? Couldn't keep up with me?"

"Be... Haa... Be quiet..."

"What was that? I'm gonna need you to speak up [Name], my mechanical ears can't hear you."

You were getting tired of his comments, immediately pulling him in for more while his finger rush to take your shirt uniform off you.

Once he had taken it off, he didn't seem to care where it landed, only throwing it somewhere random in the open space.

His hands creep up your legs, ready to undo whatever you were wearing down there as well.

Since you had only expected to grab some documents, it seemed the thought of locking the door had completely escaped you.

"My Lord! The Regrator is currently asking for you-"

Your hands immediately fly up to save any dignity you have left of yourself, Scaramouches arms doing best he can to cover your body.

"Out."

It seemed the soldier was in shock, as his eyes could only keep between the two completely embarrassed individuals, one of them being half naked.

"Did you not hear me? I said leave." You're sure the subordinate saw him in a horrifying light, but looking at him up close you could easily tell just how red his face is, even despite having no blood circulation.

"Of- Of course my lord! I will be waiting outside!" He immediately dashed through the door a loud slam bouncing off the walls.

When you look back at him as his fingers pinch the his nose bridge, an obvious agitated look spread across his face.

-----

"Were you not taught by your caretakers to knock on doors before you open them? No... Maybe they're just as incompetent as you are."

Though your clothes were haphazardly put back on, you still stood by the harbingers side as he demeaned the fatuus, smoothing out any wrinkles your uniform had.

"Forgive me my lord..."

To be honest, you wouldn't have gone with the man, if it weren't for the fact you're sure he would obliterate the soldier if you weren't there.

"So... Are you and [Name] together-?"

"Continue talking if you wanna be sent back home in a coffin."

Though harsh words keep leaving his esophagus, you can still notice the vibrant red spread around his face when he replies.

------

"Good job not electrocuting the guy Kuni."

"Who says I'm not gonna do It on another date?"

"If you don't we can pick up where we left off when we get to my house."

"Ha, if that's what you really want."

[seat-safety-switch]

I am not the kind of person who would become a chicken farmer. Don't get me wrong: I can certainly understand the reasons why you would. There's a lot of different makes and models of chickens, and they help keep bugs out of your property. Plus, they make eggs. There is, however, one big downside: you don't have to buy a special vehicle for them.

One of the greatest things about agriculture is that it gives you an excuse to buy a specialized automobile or automobile accessory. Cows? Need a cattle trailer. Horses? Horse trailer. Big trucks in either regard. Chickens are small, so you can throw them in the back of your regular ol' Subaru wagon, and take them to the chicken vet whenever you want. It's an easy lifestyle, but as Socrates once said, the life where you don't buy a cool niche automobile is hardly a life at all.

Don't worry, shareholders. I am fully aware of the spending power and spare capital of chicken-lovers all over the country. There is a non-solution from Switch Industries to this non-problem. We simply give the chickens each their own little cars. They can drive themselves to the vet, or to the feed store, and sleep in their cars rather than rely on the construction of old-fashioned, expensive (and increasingly costly) chicken coops.

Many haters are speaking out against this project, and I address those haters now. You might think that this is excessive. You might think that this is impossible. You might think that this is illegal. Self-driving car technology has come a long way from the early days of "tie a rope to it." With modern Japanese technology (i.e. batteries stolen from floor models of Makita power drills at Home Depot,) a small chicken-operated electric car, built out of a repurposed Power Wheels®, can easily reach highway speeds.

As for illegality, it turns out that the current government will write whatever law we tell them to do, as long as we grow our chicken-driving industry to a size that is awkward to legislate before those lawmakers wake up to the threat. It is for this reason that I've partnered with some only-slightly-arrested junk bond kings in the tri-state areas to fuel this development.

So if you have a bunch of chickens on your property, easy access to the highway, and a lack of legal representation, call Switch Industries as soon as possible. We'll get you hooked up with your own fleet of NuggetRides® as soon as possible. You won't regret it, or at least we won't.

[betty-bourgeoisie]

The thing I find most concerning about the sudden and rapid declines of platforms like Twitter, Reddit, and to a lesser extent Discord and Facebook, is the loss of digital third places that will result from it.

[Definition: a Third Place is a space outside of work or the home that you spend a significant amount of time in. Usually a social gathering place like a church, library, park, or gym]

It's a known issue that physical third places are disappearing. Cities, malls, and shopping centers have cracked down hard on loitering, resulting in a lack of public space for people to just hang out in. Parks exist, but their use is usually dependent on weather conditions. Church attendance has been in decline for decades for a lot of reasons I won't get into here. Libraries exist but they're not a good place to talk with friends. And pretty much every other third place I can think of (bars, game stores, bookstores, coffee shops, etc) requires you to spend money if you want to be there. None of these are new observations, smarter people than myself have written whole books on the loss of in-person third places.

Social media has been filling in the gap left by these third places for the last couple of decades. As physical space has become less accessible we've migrated online to find community - and especially during COVID, social media was really the only place you could socialize with others. None of this is new information either.

But the current issue, that I've seen very few people talking about, is that companies are starting to price and bully people out of those digital third places the same way they did with physical third places. The difference is that it's happening much faster, and usually at the whim of just one or two people. These are not broader sociological trends slowly shutting down social spaces like what we saw with the decline of shopping malls. There will be no slow adjustment to another social medium. We are seeing individual billionaires making a choice in real time to monetize people out of some of the only public social spaces we have left.

I've seen people bemoaning the loss of information that comes with these sites collapsing, but personally, I am far more concerned with the loss of social space. Don't get me wrong, social media of all kinds is an absolute nightmare, but for many people (and especially for teenagers who have more restrictions on where they can go and what money they can spend) online space is one of the only places they can reliably go to socialize.

In a country like the U.S. where the federal government is calling loneliness an epidemic this is actually a much bigger concern than I think a lot of people realize. How many people have more online friends than in-person ones? What happens to rates of loneliness as social media platforms become inaccessible and people lose those connections?

Obviously, the preferred answer is that people will go make more friends in person, but remember that in-person social spaces have already been severely limited. This is not the easy option that you might hope it is.

My actual call to action on this is to fucking fight to get your in-person third places back. Talk to your local representatives about repealing loitering laws - organize protests or ballot initiatives about it if you have to. Work with rotary clubs and parks departments to fund new public restrooms and park shelters. If there are places in your community that provide free workshop spaces/ game nights/ art walks/ etc go to them and support them financially when and if you're able. Go to your local library and check out a book so they get more funding! I know this shit can be boring, but things are only going to get worse if people don't have places where they can connect with each other. We can't keep letting capitalists take community spaces from us.

[cookinguptales]

Can I ask you to do a post about Disney & disability please? You mentioned it and I’d love to know more!

Well, my notifications can't get any messier, so why not?

This post got very, very long because I ended up talking about a lot of the accessibility solutions in detail (and... ranting about how accessibility at Universal was so bad that I got physically injured there) so I'm putting it under a cut for you.

To preface this, I have mobility issues (as well as a lot of food intolerances/allergies) and general chronic illness, my sister is Deaf, and I have friends who regularly attend the park with autistic family members with high support needs. These are the disabilities I have experience with, so while I've heard a bit about others (such as portable descriptive devices for visitors with visual impairments) I can't speak as much about those accommodations.

I have also traveled quite a bit, mostly as a disabled adult. I can work from anywhere and my family enjoys traveling, so I've been very lucky in this regard. I also used to live in central Florida, not too far from Disney, and benefited from their FL resident rates.

So I'm coming at this from a person who has a lot of experience traveling while disabled and a fair amount of experience going to WDW, though I haven't been nearly as often since I moved out of Florida.

(Good fucking riddance.)

So know that I am speaking from experience when I say I have never, without exception, been to a single place half as accessible as Walt Disney World. It is literally the reason my family would go there; it was one of the only places we could all safely go together. One of the only places I've been on earth that even approached their level of thoughtful accommodations is Barcelona, which apparently did significant renovations throughout the city in order to prepare for the 1992 Paralympics.

(Hey, if anyone is reading this from Barcelona: I teared up the first time I used one of your curb cuts in my wheelchair, just so you know.)

Going through those parks in a wheelchair is a breeze, though you will probably have to fight a lot of clueless parents with strollers who are hellbent on using resources intended for wheelchair-users and then glaring at you when you try to use them yourself. Level ground, spacious sidewalks, accessible transportation, well-kept gradual ramps, roomy buildings, lots of accessible restrooms, alternate entrances at many rides for wheelchair users, special wheelchair rows in movie theaters that we're loaded into first, accessible queues in most rides designed or renovated in the last fifteen years, special viewing areas for shows/parades/fireworks so you don't end up staring at able-bodied butts for a half hour...

Like, structurally-speaking, the parks are very easy to get around in if you're a wheelchair user. That was built in and you can see a lot of very mindful design choices. As far as the rides go, most of their rides actually have special cars that you can load into while still in a wheelchair. They're pretty neat. I can transfer, but that means often leaving my wheelchair and/or cane with a cast member during the ride. They are always, without fail, waiting for me on the other side of the ride, no matter how far the exit is from the entrance. I have never once had a problem with this. A cast member will be there to put my assistive devices in my hand before I even have to think about getting up. Guaranteed.

Wheelchair users always used to be able to skip the line, but there was unfortunately a problem with able-bodied people pretending to be disabled to skip lines (because god forbid they not have access to a single thing we have to make our lives livable) so now there's a system where if you cannot wait in a line, they'll basically give you a special time to come back that's equivalent to the length of the line. Which feels fair to me as someone who often cannot be in even an accessible line for extended periods. (I have problems with sunlight, heat, and often need emergency food or restroom.)

More important than all this, though, is the fact that cast members are impeccably well-trained in all of this. Any disabled person can tell you that the most accessible design on earth isn't worth shit if the people working there aren't well-trained. (More on this later, when I take a giant shit on Universal Studios.) But Disney trains their employees, many of whom are disabled themselves, incredibly well.

Every employee will know where the accessible entrances are. Every employee will know the procedure for getting a return time. Every employee will know about first-aid centers, and every employee will know where the quiet areas are for people with sensory issues. Every time you make a reservation for a meal, hotel room, transportation, etc. they will ask for all accessibility needs and they'll be ready for you.

Every waiter you have will be incredibly careful and knowledgeable when it comes to special dietary needs, and chefs will often come out to discuss them with you. They often have specific menus for different dietary needs, and they are scrupulous when it comes to allergens. I have a few intolerances that suck and allergies that could kill me and I have always felt very safe in their hands. This ranges from fancy sit-down restaurants to quick service burger places.

And -- honestly, I have just always been treated with respect. I know that sounds like a low bar, but most people do fail to clear it. Disney has their employees very well-trained on how to interact with disabled guests. People speak directly to me, never to the able-bodied people over my head. They never treat me like I'm a child. They never ask invasive questions or make uncomfortable jokes. They never, ever get impatient with my accessibility needs.

The few times I have misjudged things and have injured myself or gotten extremely ill, they were professional and caring as they provided much-needed first-aid. It's kind of embarrassing to be doted on by a costumed character while you wait for a doctor to come help you sit up again, but also kind of endearing, I'll admit.

They also, in addition to captioning all videos in the park, have some of the best sign language interpreters in the world, bar none. They're very personal and professional, they're easy to reserve, they will always be in a visible place during shows, and they're incredible performers as well as being very technically proficient. In addition to the professional interpreters, many cast members, performers, and characters can sign as well.

In addition to that, and this brings me to my next point, you'll meet a lot of disabled employees throughout the park. In front-facing positions. Deaf employees, employees using mobility aids, etc. They're well-known to hire disabled people and treat them well. This is. Fuck, this is incredibly rare, I say as someone who was never able to find a job in Florida with my health conditions. It's the moral thing to do to hire disabled people, but also -- selfishly, there's something so heartening and normalizing about seeing people who look like you working at the park. I'm happy every single time.

I have a little less personal experience when it comes to accessibility for neurodivergence, despite being neurodivergent myself, but I've been told that Disney is very, very accommodating for people on the spectrum. A lot is done to lessen crowding, waiting, sensory overload, etc. for autistic guests. Cast members are usually super good at this; finding designated quiet areas, helping autistic guests avoid more crowded areas, keeping them out of long lines, making sure they have access to any particular experiences that are special to them, etc.

For folks who need help from their group, whether that's an autistic child who needs to be with a parent or a disabled adult who needs someone to push their wheelchair or anything else, Disney has a rider switch-off model. In other words, if you're there with both of your able-bodied parents, for example, and you need one of them to be with you at all times and you don't want to be on the ride yourself, Disney will allow one person to go on the ride while the other waits for them to finish, then will allow the second person to go on without any additional wait. This makes sure that everyone in the family gets equal access without leaving disabled people alone. (Which... can be a very shitty feeling, I assure you.)

I know that Disney has also pioneered a lot of assistive technology. The accessible rides, obviously, which can be ridiculously cool (like Toy Story Midway Mania has an accessible car with alternative "guns" for people with dexterity limitations so they can play the carnival games as well) but also handheld assistive devices for visually impaired guests, etc. Like they are literally inventing new forms of accessibility technology, which is so cool.

And honestly, I'm always learning about new ways they assist disabled guests. I've stayed in Disney's accessible hotel rooms before (they're very nice!) but I don't like to swim so I've never been in the pools. But even just this week, someone told me that Disney has pool lifts for disabled guests, which I had never even considered. That's so cool.

The best part about accessibility at Disney is that in some ways it's very casual. A lot of their design decisions are so intuitive that you never even notice how accessible the parks are until you go somewhere where that's... not the case.

Like -- just so you don't assume that any of these things are industry standard, let me tell you about the two times I went to Universal, a park very close to Disney. I went there once for an event and once with my family.

The first time I went was for an event at the opening of the Harry Potter park. (This was before JKR made her most appalling views public, to be clear.) It... was frustrating. Guests asked if there would be food and drink available for people with special dietary restrictions (such as sugar-free butterbeer) and were pretty much told that no, that was not something they were interested in pursuing. It became very obvious very quickly that the park itself was so narrow that it only barely fulfilled ADA standards -- when empty. We were told that JKR had actually specifically insisted that it feel "cramped". Which is a nice way to say that I couldn't actually get around in any of the stores while people were in them.

It was overall a frustrating experience, but it was like. One night. I figured it was probably a fluke and they were still ironing out all the details. So I ended up going back with my parents later.

Y'all, it was a shit show.

Broken elevators that prevented disabled guests from accessing rides. Performers being up on raised platforms/sidewalks so disabled guests couldn't get to them. Sidewalks being made inaccessible by putting movable signs directly in the middle of them. Stores (even outside of the HP part) that were so damn narrow that I actually ended up getting hurt trying to navigate one of them. And no -- it was not easy to get first aid.

And my god, was the training bad. We went to one of the new HP rides, asked if there was a specific entrance for disabled guests. We were told no. We waited for a very long time in a line that honestly I shouldn't have been waiting in, but I wanted to be a good sport. I was pretty sick by the time we got through it, and the line itself had some very dangerous inclines/turns for wheelchair users. We get to the front of the line -- and the employee asks why we didn't just use the accessible entrance. 🙃

(Side note: several of their rides are also just unrideable if you don't fit within a pretty narrow body type of thin and able-bodied, so... there's that.)

We'd asked repeatedly and gotten incorrect answers, and I'd been put in physical danger as a result. Wild. I started to notice that if you asked different employees, you'd get different answers about almost anything, really. Just exceptionally poor training. Even stuff that should've been a no-brainer, like loading wheelchair users into a stationary movie theater, ended up creating chaos when they did it incorrectly and we had a giant wheelchair pileup.

Like -- let me stress to you that many of the things that happened could have caused actual injury to people. Some of these situations were dangerous. And some of them were just alienating, like when I'd have to wait outside a store while my family could go in.

I never went back after that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We just kept going to Disney.

One thing that'll probably show how good Disney is at accessibility is the whole Make-A-Wish thing. A lot of people know that it's a popular Make-A-Wish request, and you're likely to see at least a couple kids with Make-A-Wish buttons during your visit if you keep an eye out. One reason for this, is that, y'know, Disney World is fun. Kids want to go there. But more important, I think, is that Disney can accommodate people with at-times severe medical needs. Those kids can safely go anywhere and do anything in those parks that able-bodied kids can, and that's important.

All in all, the parks are just so accessible and you will never, ever be made to feel like you're lesser for needing those accommodations. You will be treated so well and you will not have to worry about accessibility because the cast members are always doing it for you. They'll usher you into the correct entrance as soon as they see a mobility device, and they'll do it with a very warm welcome. It's one of the very few places on earth where I have never felt like a burden.

Again, y'know, I know that Disney does not have a perfect track record on a lot of issues. I would never defend them from rightfully earned criticism. I strongly support labor action against them, and I do think they should be criticized whenever they fuck up. I have been uncomfortable with the sheer amount of power they have both in Florida and in the entertainment world just because no one should have that much power. But I am far more uncomfortable with that power being stripped away for blatantly discriminatory political reasons.

I do have some loyalty to Disney just because there is no other place on earth where I've been able to safely have fun with my friends with so little agony. That's... I mean, it's important, really. To be able to just exist in public without getting grief for it. And I have some loyalty to them because they were a safe space for me as a young, queer kid who was not safe being out in other areas of my life.

(Like, I am talking about actual literal safety. I kept seeing notes on my post saying that Disney didn't care about creating a "safe space for queer people" but as someone who lived in Florida for the entirety of my teenage years? It was the safest goddamn place there.)

I do not have enough loyalty to defend them when they do immoral bullshit, but I do have enough to make sure that people know the good that they do as well.

I want other businesses to follow Disney's model for disability. I will praise them forever for what they've done in that regard because if I don't, there's no reason for other companies to follow suit. I want to praise them for the good things they've done so they have incentive to keep doing it, and other companies have an incentive to do it as well.

Like bro, I just wanna be able to move around and be treated with some dignity, y'know? My bar is so low. lmao

But yeah. That's why you always see so many disabled guests at Disney. It's literally the only place some of us can go to have fun.

[taxidermycanine]

5 WAYS TO HELP WITH SPECIES DYSPHORIA AS A THERIAN (with and without gear)

- please note that most of these are focused mainly on being a wolf therian, but i'll try my best to make it more inclusive to others.

1 •

my personal favorite, wolf quest! this one does cost money, so this isn't for those who don't have the money/don't already have the game. it really helps me feel more connected to who i am. you find a mate, raise pups, hunt prey, defend your den and pack from predators, and there's even a multiplayer option for you to play with your friends. :o)

(and yes, you can customize what your wolf looks like. all NPC wolves in the game have different personalities for immersion, including you, your pups, and your mate)

please note that the game is still in development! they plan to add a saga where you can live constantly with your pack and continue with new generations each year (and no, you don't HAVE to pass away). you can toggle whether your mate dies or not, if you play on easy you can avoid your pups getting sick by reloading saves if you're sensitive to that, there are constantly new updates being brought out that make the game feel more realistic each time and the development team are incredibly sweet. if you have the money i highly recommend this game, wolf therian or otherwise.

2 •

documentaries. a wonderful way to not only feel more connected to your theriotype(s), but to also learn more information about them! my favorite thing to do when i'm stressed is to wrap myself in warm blankets, turn off my lights and put on a documentary to calm myself down. bonus points if you DO have gear to wear during this, if not that's okay too.

i also like to have my plush friends join me so i can act like they're my pack :o) it's a nice way to feel less lonely as i watch. this also works if you're a domestic cat therian, have your plushies be your clouder! no matter what animal you are though, never feel less valid for wanting your stuffies with you during this. it doesn't matter if your theriotype isn't a social animal in the wild.

if you're an aquatic therian of some kind, i think a good idea would be taking your phone in the bathroom with you and setting it up outside of the tub to watch whilst you're in the water! (or shower if you don't have one, you can also use a kiddie pool outside in the warmer months). PLEASE remember to be safe during this though, if you worry about getting your phone wet then instead find some blue blankets and pretend it's the ocean!

3 •

going outside to where your theriotype resides in naturally. of course this won't be for everyone, since a lot of the time trips can end up being quite costly. something that i like to do is go to my local forest whenever i have the time to do so! i find it refreshing to sit by the stream and play in the water with my mate.

if you're a domestic dog therian, ask to go on a walk around the neighborhood with your friend! (or hell, go by yourself if it's safe enough, you're a free dog, you can do what you want). even as a wild animal i still enjoy this, so don't feel ashamed if you're ALSO a wild animal who wants to do things that domestic dogs do. it doesn't make you any less undomesticated.

if you're an animal that's used to deserts, i recommend going to where you can access sand (e.g. a sandbox at a playground, asking for a small sand tray to play in as a gift, a day out to the beach if you live near one). i also find that dried dirt that's very damaged can feel sort of similar to sand!

if you can't go outside for whatever reason, then there's always ways to make your bedroom feel similar to where you would be more comfortable. if your theriotype lives in dens like caves and underneath trees, make a blanket fort and pretend it's your home! if your theriotype rests in a burrow, make a tunnel with some blankets from the top of your bed all the way down to under it (if that doesn't work, pretend that anything below your bed is underground, and anything above your bed is the surface).

4 •

dressing in clothes that are the same color as your theriotype. i have this fluffy hat with ears that feels very affirming for my species dysphoria, paired with my favorite dark sweaters, warm pants and my tail. if you don't have any gear, don't worry! you don't need to have any to complete an outfit. sometimes clothing textures can also be affirming. for example if you have smooth skin like a whale, a bathing suit can feel similar to blubber. (if you have gender dysphoria, i recommend either full body bathing suits, or wearing pants on top of it and a jacket to help yourself feel more affirmed). i wear fluffy clothes because my fur is fluffy :o) it helps me, personally, but this might not be the same for everyone!

5 •

studying the behavior of your theriotype and trying your best to imitate it to the best of your abilities with the body you have. this can be as simple as copying how they act around each other as a family (for example wolves who are mates will rest their chins on each other to display affection), and as difficult as trying to vocalize what sounds your theriotype makes.

if you wanted to try the latter, i recommend looking at vocal exercises online before as a lot of creature sounds can and will strain your voice, i promise you that warming up your chords will not only help you sound clearer, it'll ensure that it won't take as much effort to do!

[olderthannetfic]

Someone recently left a comment on one of my fics that they were disappointed I wasn't addressing any of the criticism or comments I got on Goodreads. After all, I reply to comments on the actual fic. Why am I ignoring the Goodreads commenters?

Well, 1. I didn't know there was a Goodreads page for my fanfic 2. I think if they wanted a reply they'd say it where I'm known to reply to every single comment without fail and 3. the kind of dumbass who treats 800k of free fanfics in a series like something they paid for is not the sort of person I want to engage with. If 800k of stories, with main stories, tie-ins, prequel asides, missing scenes, etc. for free wasn't to your liking, just... go read another? We have stories in this fandom whose whole series clock in at over a million words. We have stories where people have done fan songs and fanart and fancomics tying into their main work. We have stories with multiple timelines. You have so many options, all of them totally free and easy to access. If my stories, which I fully admit ares flawed and show some of my weaknesses as an author, don't do it for you, you have options. You have wonderful options.

If I had an editor and a publisher and my stories were actual books, I wouldn't have this reaction to this comment. But these stories have one person working on them total. I'm not making income off of this. This is what I write while working two jobs, for fun. As much as I do view writing fanfic as something that helps me learn the ins and outs of writing and put my all into it, it's going to be rougher than if I'd had help with it or had time to do more drafts than the three I normally do.

And if I was known for ducking criticism, I would get having comments on another site. There are authors in my fandom who delete anything that's not praise. But I have had long conversations with my haters in which I take everything in good faith and explain my writing choices, word choices and ideas. I have my tumblr which is just about my fandom stuff listed in the AN of every chapter. DMs are open and anon is on. My Dreamwidth account, also under the same name, also has DMs open. I have publicly stated when I have made shit narrative choices and owned that yes, sometimes I have genuinely dropped the ball. This has influenced later chapters where things go off of the original outline in order for the shit choice to have consequences in a way that makes sense and feels true to the characters in the story.

So "why are you hiding from the Goodreads commenters?!" feels like the most baffling thing I've ever been asked. I tried to be nice about it, but all I could think was, "why didn't the Goodreads commenters who wanted a reply post their comments where they know I 100% would've responded to it?"

--

Madness!

(Also, lol, half the pro shit with a lot of comments on Goodreads is barely edited. Maybe they were bitching about content? But if it was whining about craft, the bar is in the floor and they have nothing to complain about.)

[thefirstknife]

Incredibly urgent information found in post-campaign. This is the Lost Ghosts quest from Micah-10. This one is "Oracle" and happens on Nessus. The quest from Micah is about finding various Ghosts that got lost during missions on locations. For the one in Oracle, you had to run Insight Terminus strike to find data.

Running Insight Terminus here is confirmed as canon! Kargen we fight is apparently a clone! More importantly, this reveals a few pieces of information that I am completely and totally normal about.

First, Kargen's clone is once again looking for OXA and OXA is canonically confirmed to be similar, if not the same (!) to the Device of the Future War Cult.

Second, Otzot is the one who ordered this and the order is recent. Otzot is, with this, confirmed to be alive and active. She is also in a faction NOT loyal to the Witness. Otzot is also apparently interested in Sol Divisive's information on the Veil. I am thoroughly losing my mind about this. Ghost is also confused about how these things connect and I'm LOSING IT again because I talked about this well over a year ago in this post, and recently in this one. Prediction machines, Vex technology and the Veil have something going on together, I agree Ghost. I am obsessed with this.

And third, the interference is confirmed to be from Maya Sundaresh which also further confirms her involvement in the Echoes. It has to. I've already speculated on the Echoes image we can see in game as the mysterious figure being some form of Maya/Vex Maya/her simulation, but this confirms it. I've never been more normal than I am now.

Transcript of the video below:

Ghost: I've got Bean's signal. It looks like he's gone deeper into Nessus. It should be easy to follow him. As for what Kargen's clone was doing here, it looks like he was trying to access Vex data on OXA again. Micah-10: That's the Psion prediction machine, right? Sees the future in branching paths? Future War Cult had something similar. Ghost: Based on what I'm seeing here, I... I can't be sure they aren't the same thing. The same design. But I don't know how that's possible. Kargen was trying to access the Sol Divisive's research on the Veil as well. I don't understand how all these things are connected. But I can tell where the orders are coming from. A Psion named Otzot, and these orders are recent. I think there might be defector branches within the Shadow Legion... Ones not loyal to the Witness. Micah-10: And they're trying to pin down potential outcomes, make plans for what, the even of our success? Ghost: Maybe. But it looks like something's blocked them, but I... I don't know how that's possible. Micah-10: Why? What stopped Kargen? Ghost: If this log is correct... Maya Sundaresh did. Cayde-6: Maya, wha- why does that name sound so familiar? Micah-10: Why don't you and I talk about that offline, Cayde. Let the Guardian and Ghost track down Bean. Cayde-6: Yeah, yeah, that- that- that sounds good.

[seyaryminamoto]

Azula's most overlooked characterization element

Why, hello there.

It is I.

And I'm back on my bullshit.

I didn't WANT to be. But a bunch of factors pulled me back in.

For the record: I'm not here to start any fights or light the fuse of arguments that I most likely won't have time or interest in responding to. What I AM here for... is to prove that there's something out there a bunch of people are delighted to sleep on because acknowledging it would render maaaany simplistic interpretations entirely invalid...

That group of people includes the fandom, of course. And the original show's staff. And the liveaction's staff, to a fault. Surely the TTRPG ones too. And absolutely, the comic book writers.

Hell, I'll even include MYSELF in that group, even though I'm making this post right now.

I found it really curious that I very recently saw this element mentioned in a pretty neat blog I follow, @atla-lore-archive, I absolutely advise anyone who hasn't checked out said archive to do it if you wish to understand a lot of the "extra lore" the fandom had access to, back in the old days when the turbonick ATLA site still existed and used to be the only source of deeper knowledge about the fandom besides the occasional interview that most people didn't even know where to track down.

But the funny thing is that the post I'm talking about proved that even Turbonick forgot about the people this post is about :')

And that would beeeeeeee...

*cue drumroll*

Lo and Li!

What makes Lo and Li an important subject to discuss?

Why, a lot of things. Among them, the fact that almost nobody brings them into the core focus of any analysis made about Azula's character. I've personally mentioned them once or twice I believe, mostly as negatives, there's but ONE positive aspect I've ever found of them: them being non-benders MIGHT be a reason why Azula isn't shown as being quite so obsessive with firebending supremacy as Zuko was supposed to be.

But that's very much the sole good thing I can think to say about them and it's completely subjective, as good as a headcanon, because we don't even KNOW if they influenced Azula in that sense!

Why do they seem to get overlooked quite as much? Why... let's start thinking about it, shall we?

Lo and Li are Azula's firebending teachers. As far as anyone can tell, they're also her advisors. These two people should be an essential part of Azula's life... but ironically, we seldom see them with her. Most times, Azula isn't around these two. Whenever she is? It doesn't usually look like she's having a good time.

And that's no surprise, considering her first scene with those two very much puts forward a dynamic of cold distance between Azula and her mentors: Azula is bending LIGHTNING. We have not heard of other lightningbenders until that point, and once the full show wraps up, there's only THREE (Azula, Ozai, Iroh). Out of those three? Only one is a fourteen-year-old girl. It's very easy to assume Azula's lightning is actually a skill she mastered unusually early in life, perhaps relatively recently, hence the practicing... but she's pulling it off. She's succeeding. She's doing something that genuinely catches a first-time viewer off-guard!

And Lo and Li's entire opinion of what she did is: "Almost perfect. One hair out of place."

This tells you the Fire Nation's idea of "imperfection" is... insane. Strict. Imposing. Unyielding. Unforgiving. Azula's reaction isn't to get angry at Lo and Li for saying what they did: it's to get angry at herself and try again.

But... that's not the only instance where we see Azula getting angry around Lo and Li.

The next few times Azula is around them, she doesn't seem to have much of an emotional reaction (one is when they tell her to find other allies, the other when they herald her as a great hero who returned home from Ba Sing Se). In the second of these scenes, Lo and Li are praising Azula as incredible, beautiful, all sorts of grand things...! And Azula smiles. She smiles at the crowd. She's not smiling at the old ladies who are praising her... she's mostly just happy to know her people are welcoming her as a hero indeed! Most the fandom would go "true! what an ungrateful bitch! She should've been happy that Lo and Li complimented her that way!!" Me? I wouldn't say that at all. Not just because I love Azula to pieces? But because the only information we have of Azula's dynamics with these two... doesn't seem compatible with the idea that what Lo and Li are saying here is for AZULA'S benefit.

Anyone who's had a hypocritical parent/caretaker/teacher must have endured awkward, horrible, unpleasant moments where this adult figure treats you like shit in private but in public holds you as this grand example, and a perfect child, and they never seem to stop saying they're soooo proud of you even though you NEVER felt that what they're saying is true. Maybe the first few times, you're naive enough to believe it. By the tenth time of incongruent messages? You start to realize they're talking you up as a way to make themselves look better. They're trying to show they're doing their job at raising you/training you, be it whatever it may. The praises are not FOR you... they're for a third person to hear and think "Oh, this adult's so cool, saying nice things about this kid they're responsible for! Nice!"

... You're starting to get the picture now, I'm sure.

Lo and Li reappear in the Beach. Azula is notably chill, enjoying the ride, talking casually with Ty Lee, telling Zuko to lighten up and to stop taking Ozai's choices personally, right? She seems... content. Relaxed.

Then, everything changed when Lo and Li attacked.

We don't even see why Azula is making this face at first. But she does it AT ONCE when their ship reaches the dock.

Who is there indeed...?

The stars of our post! :') if it isn't our elderly twin ladies... who brought Azula to a very disappoting beach house. And when Azula sees the house in question, she makes THIS face.

Judge however you may... even Ty Lee is weirded out by the beach house, going by that expression. Zuko and Mai aren't impressed either. But Azula? The look on her face isn't merely disappointment if you ask me... part of it looks a bit like embarrassment too? This isn't at all what she was expecting when she arrived (she has her old beach house for standards, which makes this extra underwhelming, I'm sure). She counts on Lo and Li to provide them with a place to stay, it goes implicit... and then this is what they do. It most likely isn't what she promised the other three in terms of where they'd stay, hence, I'd dare say there's a component of embarrassment here.

Shortly afterwards, we have our well known scene with Azula being utterly unconcerned with Lo and Li's apparent wisdom to the point of yawning over it. This, too, tells you she's just not interested in whatever those two have to say or bring to the table. Then, they show up again at mealtime and I think Azula just ignores them the whole scene.

After this? Lo and Li vanish until the finale. And what do they do in the finale? Why... it's the first time anyone expresses a verbal concern over Azula's wellbeing! Ah! A sign that Lo and Li have SOME affection for Azula! This time, you pesky Azula fans, you CAN'T twist this into a bad thing! For sure!

... Can't we, tho? :')

What IS Azula's reaction to: "We are concerned for your wellbeing"?

"My father asked you to come here and talk to me, didn't he‌? He thinks I can't handle the responsibility of being Fire Lord. But I will be the greatest leader in Fire Nation history."

And here, my friends, is when we have finally hit the jackpot.

Lo and Li could have been Azula's Irohs. She could've had TWO of him! Then you'd say: "hey! Ozai is such a dick he let Azula have two elderly wise ladies guiding her but only gave one old wise dude to Zuko! Rude!" and it would be further proof of Ozai's favoritism of Azula, right?

... But actually?

Lo and Li are no such thing. Lo and Li aren't moral compasses for Azula in the least. Lo and Li are not beacons of wisdom that genuinely help her sort her way through life. Worth noting: THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN THAT WAY. They're not. They're not part of mysterious secret societies, they don't help Azula in any objective, significant, tangible way... there's very much nothing to say they EVER fulfilled the role Iroh did for Zuko. What role, then, were they fulfilling instead?

Why... I think we ought to listen to Azula, shouldn't we?

My take: Lo and Li are OZAI'S STAND-INS.

Someone's going to say "hey why would you assume that when Azula said this in the middle of a breakdown?? Surely she was just DELUSIONAL and PARANOID and ashdgkadhsgkjgh...!"

... Let me counter that one with a fun little analysis excercise:

WHY are Lo and Li Azula's firebending teachers and advisors?

The finale very directly tells us these two are not benders. We could've assumed they were! They're not: Azula's teachers are non-benders.

Has a single person out there ever asked themselves WHY this is the case?

How the hell is Azula, prodigy of the blue fire, epic lightning, cruel and powerful and precise and deadly bending... training under two elderly nonbenders?

Bringing this to a real-life example: do you remember what it was like when you were in P.E. classes and your teacher told you to spend 20 minutes jogging, and if you ever stopped you had to do 20 crunches and then get back to the jogging, and every time you stopped he'd tell you the same thing and you'd want that guy to vanish from the face of the planet? I don't know if that was only my experience, but I rather doubt it.

What did kids typically think/say when that happened?

"I wanna see that old fart doing the same shit he's making us do..."

It's a headcanon indeed to say that this is how Azula must have felt over Lo and Li, but it's VERY likely to be the case. But I'd dare say, in Azula's case, it's even worse because, to put it in another way? It's like taking programming lessons from someone who's never learned a programming language. They'll tell you you're getting things wrong without knowing how to help you get them right because they just DON'T KNOW what you're doing, and are outright INCAPABLE of what you're trying to achieve. They can't offer good guidance based on experience because they have ZERO experience on that subject! And yet they want PERFECTION from you! They expect it!

Lo and Li are these teachers for Azula. We only see them in one scene? And yet everything in the rest of the show suggests that they bring nothing important to the table for Azula, be it professionally, be it personally, be it emotionally... not in any aspect of life.

And this, if you ask me, is why the OG show barely ever brings them into scenes. Why the comics flat-out forgot they existed and even featured people like Sozin and Azulon in Azula's beach hallucinations but NOT the two ladies who looked after her and trained her. Why the live-action didn't even FEATURE them.

And us? The fandom? The fic writers?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I READ A FIC THAT HAD LO AND LI INVOLVED IN IT.

I'm not even saying as main characters, I don't even know if that exists, frankly: I mean as minor, or background characters. I have NOT seen those two be used in basically ANY fics I've read. I've scarcely used them in mine! In fact, I PURPOSEFULLY got rid of them early on in Gladiator because I didn't want them to sabotage and get in the way of Azula's progress as a character and I believed they'd do exactly that. They were an obstacle rather than anything useful, so I did away with them and then realized they could still occasionally serve some purpose in certain situations: I even had Azula visit them once and they were actually helpful! Fancy that! But... that's it. That's as far as I could go with them. I can't do MORE with those two because they're not characters one particularly feels compelled to work with.

And from what I've seen? That's the case for everyone.

So, I ask again:

WHY ARE THEY THERE?

WHAT IS THEIR ROLE?

WHAT IS THE POINT OF AZULA HAVING NON-BENDING TEACHERS?

Let's go further and further into logical thinking here, shall we?

Azula is a child. Fourteen years of age at the time she's introduced in the OG show.

Azula has no power over many things around her, particularly, her upbringing. That's in the hands of the adults around her. Her mother, up until she vanished, had some hand in it, then, it all falls to Ozai.

Ozai has been Azula's sole parental figure since Ursa left.

Ozai is the one who would reasonably call the shots regarding Azula's education, as all parents are wont to do... ESPECIALLY when he's a king with absolute power over his children.

... so, Lo and Li? Ozai either gave them the position as Azula's teachers personally, or someone else (Ursa) did, and Ozai either didn't WANT to remove them from the role (cue "Ozai being sentimental over Ursa" theories), or Ozai didn't give a flying fuck about who was training his daughter (cue "Ozai is an abusive dick without a heart or a brain" theories).

Anyone, of course, would likely interject here to say surely Ozai ALSO trained Azula himself because that's what he'd do with his favorite kid, right? See. I don't even disagree with that notion.

BUT IT'S A HEADCANON.

We have zero evidence that Ozai trained her! None! I totally will write that into Azula's backstory in many of my stories, but there's NOTHING in canon to suggest this actually happened and that Ozai was genuinely, actively, frequently involved in her progress as a firebender. Assuming he HAD to be is, still, a headcanon. You can't say that with any more certainty than mine when I say I believe Azula loves spicy foods. Does it seem to be something that would fit with her character? I think so! But if eventually canon goes "AZULA CAN'T STAND SPICY FOODS LOL JOKE'S ON YOU!" I... can't even say a thing about it. People's food tastes aren't reflective of their personalities. They really could do whatever they want in that respect. And that's the case for ANYTHING that isn't part of the show's storytelling or the character backgrounds or any texts we consider canon!

POINT BEING: Ozai, regardless of what you want to headcanon, had Lo and Li as Azula's teachers. HIS FAVORITE CHILD... and her only official instructors are two non-benders. Yang added Kunyo as an old instructor of Azula's when she was young, sure! But Kunyo was sooooo qualified that baby Azula was already kicking his ass. So, for that matter? He doesn't really seem to have been a cornerstone of her firebending development and the only other known teachers for Azula are Lo and Li.

For the last time: Azula's teachers are NON-BENDERS. AS CHOSEN, SANCTIONED, APPROVED AND ACCEPTED BY OZAI.

And with those two remarking on absolutely STUPID stuff like "one hair out of place"? Azula still became the incredible firebender she was.

Cue, now, the irony where Zuko was stuck in the basics 3 years after setting out of the Fire Nation... WITH IROH ACTIVELY SERVING AS HIS MENTOR.

You're not gonna tell me that Lo and Li would EVER be better instructors than Iroh, or are you? Because that makes no sense. Full-stop. Iroh is supposed to be the most profound and complete firebender thorughout the show because he's spiritually enlightened even though I admit I think that's bullshit and he doesn't just teach Zuko how to set things on fire, he actually makes him learn theory and spirituality and his teachings are more profound than just "ONE HAIR OUT OF PLACE".

So.

Banished as he is, disgraced and seen as trash by Ozai, Zuko STILL has a better teacher than Azula does.

... Is this LOGICAL? Is this NORMAL? Does this make SENSE?

If you think Ozai's favoritism of Azula takes the shape of "I'll give you every little thing you ask for, sweetheart, I love you very much, here, have ten million doll houses so you can set them on fire, and all the ponies you ask for and on your next birthday I'll buy you a baby dragon and you'll get your own region of the Fire Nation to govern and a fancy title..."?

Then Lo and Li, unfortunately, are right here to be a HUGE contradiction with your interpretation of Ozai and Azula's relationship.

Azula should have THE BEST teachers. Azula does not. Azula doesn't even LIKE them. Azula is openly shown to dislike them! To be annoyed around them, ANGRY when they're teaching her, she feels they're here to keep tabs on her for her father! In a sense, they're Ozai's SPIES on her! :')

Hence? Ozai's favoritism of Azula MIGHT not be what everyone keeps pretending it is. Maybe Ozai didn't do everything to make Azula get things EASILY... and to be fair? That's not what Zuko said anyway. People interpreted it that way... but that's not REALLY what he says:

"Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. "

Every line in this statement is absolutely questionable and all of it sounds like buuuuullshit to me. This is ZUKO'S perspective. And sorry not sorry, but it's tell-don't-show. People swear by his opinion of Azula and pretend he's absolutely objective about it. He's not.

But "Everything always came easy to her," does not mean "EVERYTHING WAS ALWAYS HANDED OVER TO HER ON A SILVER PLATTER." And yet this is what the fandom has constantly interpreted it as.

Azula might just be a prodigy. Maybe she started out ten steps ahead of her brother: this does not mean she needs no guidance, no training, no help. She's seen training herself over perfectionism in her very second scene of Book 2. And the guidance she gets in order to achieve perfection is actually, objectively, stupid.

This is what Ozai chose for her. This is an OBSTACLE for her growth, just as much as Lo and Li were obstacles for me when I was starting with Gladiator! Azula doesn't have it EASY: she just works herself so damn hard that even shit that should HINDER her does NOT do that. And even when her brother objectively has spent THREE YEARS with an advantage in the shape of being trained by one of the VERY BEST firebenders out there? Azula is still beating Zuko at it. With two non-benders as her teachers.

Where am I going with all this?

To the fact that Lo and Li are overlooked in just about every instance of the fandom.

To the fact that nobody includes them, and their influence on Azula, in their analyses of who Azula is.

I've seen a shitstorm rising over the Netflix characterization of Azula: SHE'S TOO ANGRY, they say. Non-stop. She's sooooo hysterical, all the time! She's just pissed perpetually!

Well. I haven't finished the show yet. But the scenes I've seen Azula in so far? They don't fit the fandom's view of Azula because...

... they're not taking Lo and Li into account.

As usual.

:')

Azula's reactions around Lo and Li being frustration, anger, irritation EVEN in scenes like The Beach, where Azula was FINE until she sees them? That shit is storytelling that went over sooooooo many heads, EVEN MINE! When I saw people going on about how canon Azula is... not insecure? Not angry? Has no frustrations and was only ever smirking 24/7? I... didn't feel that was right. I knew it wasn't right. And when I thought about it hard enough? I realized that one reason why this interpretation of Azula is IMMEDIATELY dismissable is because of Lo and Li: those two constantly made Azula angry. Even if that wasn't their intent, it's nonetheless the effect they'd have on her. And Azula didn't like having them around. She CLEARLY didn't appreciate them the way Zuko does Iroh, for instance! And this could be taken as a flaw on Azula's part... if we EVER saw evidence that these two ladies actually love Azula as a grandchild, or so. If we had any evidence that they actually have cared for her in ways nobody else ever did. If maybe the ones Zuko talks about, upon saying "EVERYONE LOVES AZULA" were these two! And maybe he was jealous of them! Maybe he wanted two old ladies to watch his every move and tell him his every flaw!

... Clearly I'm joking about that last thing, but anyway...

There's nothing to tell us Lo and Li were anything but Ozai's assigned watchdogs to keep control and tabs over Azula. That Azula's immediate reaction upon hearing that someone cares about her is "Oh fuck off, my dad sent you here because he doesn't trust me!" is... telling. It's not just paranoia speaking, even if it sure can be read that way! It's actually Azula's perception of those two, which is 100% supported by what we saw of the twins throughout the show, WHENEVER we did see them: their roles in Azula's life are indeed to keep tabs on her, to keep her under control, to pressure her into perfection, AS OZAI'S AGENTS! Seen this way, it MAKES SENSE for Azula to disregard their concern and immediately assume it's FAKE. She isn't even shown to doubt it, never questions that MAYBE they did care about her! She assumes they don't...

... And considering that, as far as I know, the official concept is that they BOTH LEFT when Azula banished one of them only? That they didn't contest her command, staying to look after her even if she only wanted one? I mean, clearly Azula can't tell them apart, so they could've taken turns: one watches over Azula for 12 hours and the other for the next 12 hours, I don't goddamn know! But they didn't do that. They LEFT. And if they left? It means they don't care remotely as much as they say they do. Not to the point where they'd challenge Azula's orders and help her when they KNOW she's not okay.

And all of this further supports my point.

When we see Azula in the liveaction being angry, bitter, irritable at Ozai's choices?

I see a reflection of the same dynamics that the OG too subtly weaved into Azula's relationship with Lo and Li. I see Azula reacting against Ozai's control over her because she feels it's DISTRUST. She feels it means her father STILL needs to be convinced that she's competent, powerful, ready to do his bidding. It isn't a case where Azula's irritation comes from wanting to rebel against her father... it's Azula wanting her father to UNDERSTAND that she's 100% his supporter and will put everything on the line to serve him and the Fire Nation.

And it's very damn easy to read that exact same thing into Azula's dynamics with Lo and Li as it is to see it EXPLICITLY STATED in the liveaction.

My point?

What the liveaction did is not nearly as much of a distant characterization choice as people think it is.

Ozai is Azula's Achilles' Heel. Everything she became, everything she grew up to be, was for his sake. He molded her to become those things and simply didn't give a shit about raising a daughter, he treated her as a weapon, and absolutely pitted his children against each other, just as much as OTHER adults in their lives did. But the impact of Ozai on Azula in the OG is easy to ignore. Why? Because we SELDOM see them interacting. Because we don't get that side of Azula's character fully explored. Because they didn't want to explore Ozai's character either! They were as cheap as they could be with all these aspects and so, only the people who really got into analyzing things on a deeper level would be able to say, without a doubt, that Ozai abused Azula emotionally with all the expectations and demands he put on his own child. Through the golden child-scapegoat dynamic that people have been bringing up non-stop in the past years.

So, proving herself to her father is what Azula wants to do, more than anything. Proving worthy of his favor, of his approval, is the closest thing she can get to feeling loved. Which is depressing as fuck. Azula gets zero affection: it's not even conditional affection, there's NOTHING for her besides approving words if she gets anything right. And this show's work with Azula's character? It was meant to make these things less invisible to all the fans who like to pretend none of it exists. And yes, I've seen them, crawling all over Twitter shitting themselves in fits of rage because how dare that show pretend Azula EVER had a bad time in her perfect flawless life!!

Well, the irony is that the OG gives you a smidge of evidence -- and yet that's enough -- to show that Ozai was doing very similar things to Azula in ATLA, and her reactions to it?

Huh. No smirks for Lo and Li.

No smirks for the symbols of Ozai's control over her life.

It's almost like the confidence, the smirks, the apparent ease with which she handles everything? Is a front that crumbles easily whenever it concerns the ONE PERSON with power over her life.

I don't believe, worth noting, that Azula's power comes from rage. I've seen people say that in fandom in the past and I find it a completely absurd take when Iroh himself spells out that her bending is about control, about precision, and it's Azula's FURY that makes her a sloppy mess in the finale. It's even INTENTIONAL that when she shoots lightning a second time, in her second establishing scene, THAT SAME HAIR FALLS OUT OF PLACE. She's still angry. She didn't get it "right" this time either. She's imperfect and she's trying NOT to be, but she cannot succeed. And upon bending lightning with emotions (rage/frustration)? That hair falls YET AGAIN out of place. Proof that she's not going to achieve the perfection she's being FORCED (indeed, by her father and the people who are here to represent him, Lo and Li) to strive for.

The liveaction had Ozai pushing Azula for a perfection she couldn't attain either. She's perfectly content in her cruelty at Ozai's side, right until she hears the Avatar was found and that Zuko has a shot at taking away the privileges she's been basking in so far. That she WASN'T nervous about this in canon is pretty damn obvious: OZAI SENT HER TO HUNT ZUKO DOWN FOR BEING A FAILURE. We never saw her reaction to learning that the Avatar was out and about. We have noooo idea what was canonically going on with her back then. The first time we see her besides the flashback is Azula receiving a mission that tells her she's STILL #1 and Zuko is no threat to her because Ozai thinks he's a failure. Thus? She had nothing to fear. Here? Ozai is actively using Zuko as bait to pressure Azula further. And if you're so confident in Ozai's good parenting skills as to believe he somehow WOULDN'T do that? Sounds like you don't understand the very basic and simplistic Fire Lod Ozai from ATLA, and that's not something to be proud of. So probably stop screaming your bad takes at the top of your lungs, because being incapable of understanding Ozai in canon is not a badge of pride, just saying...

FINAL POINT...

This post is not written expressly in the defense of the liveaction and its characterization of Azula. To this point, what I've seen of it doesn't feel WRONG or OFF unless you're the kind of person who thinks Azula is only capable of smirking and if she stops doing that she stops existing or something. Only people who cannot understand the depth, nuance, subtleties in Azula's story would ever be claiming that Azula's relationship with Ozai COUDLN'T be like this, or that Azula couldn't possibly be frustrated with her father or his choices when it's soooo clear what Ozai is going for, and why it's working. But in order to read Azula as a character capable of this range of emotion, frustration and ambition, all at once? You have to be able to treat this character, be it in the liveaction or the OG show, as a human being.

And that's what most the people criticizing this specific change are determined not to do. It's what makes them uncomfy. It's what rustles their jimmies.

Yes. I'm saying it in this very demeaning way because I actually find it quite ridiculous to be this insecure over the portrayal of a fictional 14yo in two TV shows. Whether the liveaction sticks the landing or fails catastrophically, I do not know... but I do know that if it's forcing a bunch of people to rethink Azula's character, and making them panic at the idea that she could EVER have human emotions, even if they're AWFUL human emotions?

Then I'm afraid you're only convincing me that, as bad as that show could ever get? It's getting SOMETHING right. I do love to see misinterpretations of Azula getting slammed in the face by the reality that all those beliefs, headcanons and takes in bad faith are actively, categorically untrue: none of which makes Azula a fundamentally good person, worth noting! But it makes it very clear that reading her as a one-dimensional basic villain, which is what the anti-Azula-redemption crowd actively does, is literally only possible if you overlook, ignore and fail to understand her character and her complexities, be it in the liveaction or in the original show.

There. I said my piece.

Another post, regarding the rest of the liveaction, is bound to come later. I'd say stay tuned but it might take me a while to write it at all. So... wait around and maybe you'll see it someday!

[heavencanbeaprisontoo]

Hello! May I request a headcanon for how Tommy Shelby would pine/crush over a reader maybe one who has rejected him in the past because she worked for him or because she wants to keep their relationship as friends/professional! (Since you’re writing you can make the scenario as to why she said no whatever you like) but truly i’d just love to see a headcanon on him falling in love and longing for someone who he can’t have so easily :)

Imagine Rejecting: Thomas Shelby

Tommy x fem!reader

Trope: Right person, wrong time. Warnings: Angst, pining, toxic romantic tendencies, infidelity.

You worked under him as Lizzie's replacement as his secretary, you saw his books and you knew the red on his suit collar wasn't always lipstick. You went with him almost everywhere, memorized his schedule, and completed small tasks that often caused him headaches. Long hours in the office stopped feeling so lonely. And that's where the trouble started.

When he found himself growing fond of you, he tried to fight it. He really did. But feelings grow over time and before he knew it, he started to see you as a partner. At first, he told himself that you reminded him of Grace. It was easier to tell himself that he was projecting her image onto you. However, there came a point where he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

His eyes would follow you as you left a room. His head would turn upon hearing your voice. The smell of your perfume was enough to give him pause at times. When he was at home, he would sometimes go into his office to call you from your desk in Birmingham. Just to have a conversation, even if it was to go over a detail for a meeting he "forgot."

Tommy confessed his feelings to you one late night at the Midland Hotel. You sat with him at the hotel bar, not a soul around except for the two of you and half a bottle of whiskey. Maybe is was the whiskey that did it, but he took your hand and said: "I've been trying to think of what to do about you. The things that you make me want to feel, make me want to do. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. I want you."

You slowly took your hand from him, and stood. The look in your eyes was enough to make him sober. Quietly, you gave your reply, "I'm going to call for two cars to take us home. I'll see you Monday morning, Mr. Shelby."

Thomas Shelby is not unused to rejection. It hasn't bothered him in years. With you, however, it's different. You aren't a political rival, a gang leader, or a position he's being blocked from obtaining. You are a person. A woman who has denied him access to your heart.

That is very, very different.

Not to mention a blow to his ego. Tommy knows he's attractive, and he knows that most of the women he interacts with are more than a little interested in him. Ladies from poor families see a man that can provide. Ladies from wealthy families see a man of danger that can make them feel alive. You didn't seem to fall into either category. You didn't seem to need him the way most people did.

He wouldn't discuss that night at the Midland with you for several months. When it finally did get addressed, you seemed surprised. Had you assumed he was drunk? It hardly mattered. You tried to turn him down, again "We can't, Tommy."

"Of course we can."

You scoffed, "We shouldn't. You have a wife and two children, and I am merely your employee."

Tommy got closer to you, his eyes caught between staring at your rosy painted lips and the look in your eyes. His fingertips gazed your wrist. It would be so easy to just kiss you. To take you into his arms and just hold you. Did you truly not want him? As he stared you down, the answer was found in the tears that welled in your eyes. No, you were just as sick in the heart as he was.

"Lizzie understands. Or marriage is a partnership, nothing more. We can be as we like, she wants nothing to do with it," Tommy takes your chin in between his thumb and index finger. "Tell me you don't want me, and I'll leave you alone. Tell me that."

Tears stained by your dark mascara roll down your cheeks, a shudder runs through you. "Tommy," you sigh "that's precisely why I'll never give in. I can't live my life as your whore. It's almost as cruel as being your wife."

He let you go. You took two steps back, then left him there. As the door to his office slammed shut, Tommy almost chased after you. But, he didn't. Because you were right.

[softshuji]

CW: NSFW, ptv, daddy kink mentions, reader wears makeup and a dress, marking and lots of pet names. this is pure smut that's literally it, just pure filth I am so sorry I had to get this out, I'm pretty sure I blushed writing this, extremely self indulgent bye.

Hanma's been eyeing you for a while.

You think maybe he'd know that you knew how often his eyes are shifting from the mirror to you in front of the vanity as you apply a light coat of blush to your cheeks. You're leaning forward to see yourself better in the mirror, rocking back on your feet when you turn to look at the makeup and find a complimentary shade of lipstick.

He's done and undone his own tie so many times, a little excessive maybe, but he likes to watch you - and it's even better to him that you don't mind and will let him for as long as he wants to.

You do like an audience after all, he knows that first hand. And he's yet to shrug on his jacket when you feel his hands, creeping along your sides as you hold up a hand mirror to inspect your handiwork more closely. To him, the waiting is unbearable, and of course it is, when you look so delicious so effortlessly and he can't simply be content to just watch you and wait till you notice and turn around.

"New dress?" He says, lips dropping down to where your hair meets your ear, a soft trail of kisses and a light brush of his lips against your soft and open hair.

You cast a glance back, a smile inlaying your now coated lips before you pop them experimentally, a little internal relish at how his Adams apple bobs and his eyes drop to the matted sheen of them. "Mhm, yeah, you like it?" You know he does.

"Yeah," he says, muffled and whispered as his warm breath falls and dances further down with a caress and gentle trail along your skin. "Real pretty sweetheart, you look perfect. Looks nice with your pretty hair too." He knows you know that he thinks that already, because he makes it known often just how pretty he thinks you are. And oh how often he reminds you, as you know he wants to do now.

"Yeah?" And you can tell, so easily. When he bites his lip, and his teeth are grazing along the juncture of your neck and shoulder, big and rough but assured hands now coming around your hips to pull you flush to him, it's almost too easy to tell. "I got it cos I thought you'd like it."

"oh you did it for me? That's sweet and I do like it princess. How'd you know?"

"It's easy to tell. You like the ones with easy access." You grin at him in the mirror, slightly pushing your hips back against him and he laughs, pulls his hand up to your throat to tilt you back till the back of your head rests against his chest, a firm but confident grip on your neck that has your thighs twitching- a visceral reaction you know he can feel from where he's pressed up against you from behind.

"mhm, yeah I do. Got me rock hard so early in the morning, I should punish you." And with that he grinds his now hard cock against you- hips fully flush to yours as his breath ghosts and curls over your lips.

Your chest trips, eyes flitting up and then down to where his other hand creeps and dances over the hem of the white dress. "You'll be late, I'll be late too," you say, without conviction, tongue swiping at your bottom lip to wet it in anticipation, your hips still meeting his in tandem, a heat pooling between your legs.

"I'll be quick pretty girl." Although he knows you don't need any convincing when your eyes are clouding with lust, that familiar glassy shine glimmering in them as you - expectedly, press your lips to his. "Five minutes princess, just wanna feel you."

You always start off soft- a little push and pull, him pressing himself into you with a needy and eager bite, and you curling your tongue along his from the underside, soft breaths and gasps as you try to drink him in entirely. You push, press yourself further against him, an unmeasured whimper against his mouth when he drops his hands to massage and squeeze your thighs, fingers dancing and stroking at the soft inner sides. Back and then forth, and back again.

"You always say that, and then you make us late," you whisper as you pull away for air, a thin string of saliva now pooling on your lips. It never lasts and he knows your rebuttals are half-hearted, that the wetness now dampening your underwear says enough.

He chuckles, a hot breath curling along your skin when he flips you around, his size and shape and the entirety of him backing you against the dresser. "Oh you don't wanna? How wet you are says otherwise pretty girl. You think I can't tell? You're dripping."

"That's your fault," you say even as you lift a leg to hook it around his waist, ankles locking around the lower end of his back to keep him in place and pressed firm to your hips, as his thumb lightly circles your clit over the seat of your panties- a sharp and broken whimper lost against his lips as he bites and nips at you.

"oh my fault huh? So shall I stop then pretty girl? Want me to leave you dripping and wet and aching?" And he pulls your panties to the side now sticky and hot, thumb pressed to your clit to draw firm and measured circles against the achy bundle of nerves.

Your eyes flutter, teeth biting down on your lips as you twitch and your thighs squeeze together. "No please, please, I need you." And oh how he draws it out from you easily, with so much need, an eager rock of your hips to feel him more, the rough pad of his thumb and then his fingers slipping inside you.

"yeah? What do you need sweetheart? Use your words for me. Tell daddy what you want." Middle and ring finger curling inside you, slow and drawn out and perfectly punctuated against the soft and twitchy sensitive spot, thumb still caressing your hot and wet clit, arousal now drooling down his wrist.

A broken whine escapes your lips. "I need- need you inside me, please please? It hurts. Need you to cum in me."

And be laughs, giggles in fact, with a grin that you can feel against your neck from where his lips are sucking harsh deep and purpling marks into your skin. "Good girl, that's My girl. Don't worry, I'll give you what you want." And then, as his nose nudges against your collarbones, scent of your perfume on his tongue, "Gonna cum in that pretty pussy of yours. You feeling good? Like having my fingers In you?"

Saliva pools on the edge of your lips as his fingers repeatedly curl and press against that soft and swollen spot, thighs clenching and lifting to meet him more, till his knuckles brush absently against your clit. And then deeper still, broken and gasped choked moans pressed to his shirt from your saliva now dribbles onto the white linen- too much for you to form a response in return.

He coos at you, soft and teasing, till that tight wire of heat and tension simmers in your tummy, moans and breathy broken whines getting quicker and sharper and you tightening around his fingers with every curl of them against your soft, warm walls.

"shuji- fuck, oh, I think I'm-" you try, and it comes out as a heavy breath, you panting and gasping against his shoulder where your cheek is pressed until suddenly, he pulls them out, cool air now pulling your orgasm further away from you as cry in protest.

"shhh, relax princess, I got you," he says, undulated under the sound of metal as his belt comes undone. "You trust me right?" And he lifts your hips, easily, your thighs now resting on the dresser as his aching hard cock springs free, now dripping and drooling with precum.

You stifle a gasp, tongue pooling in anticipation as your eyes trail, unashamedly from his darkened gaze to where his cock now twitches with need.

"I- I trust you baby, promise. But please, I Need- need to cum so bad." And as if to enunciate your point, your hips lift and jerk, an eager shuffle that has his tip pressing against your clit.

"I know, I know Doll, take a deep breath for me yeah? Relax, let me make you feel good," he says, a slow and measured press of his cock further into your pussy, loud moans from the both of you now whined and broken against each other's lips.

"I- I can't, it's too much-" quick and sharp gasps now lost in the wet and sticky sound of your arousal spreading further along your thighs and you're clenching still, sucking him in, ankles now tightening around his waist, a hand coming up to his hair to tug at and the other bunching his shirt between your shaking fingers.

His hands find your hips, smooth and reassuring circles rubbed into the skin even as he sinks deeper and deeper still. "Shhh you can do it sweetheart, just relax and ease up a little- look at how much you're sucking me in." And then, somehow, his hips press flush to yours, buried in you to the hilt and his tip now kissing lightly at your cervix.

You take sharp breaths between the broken whimpers, the pitch of your sweet voice rising as he begins a languid grind of his hips, his hands now bruising at your skin gripped tight between his fingers. He drops his forehead to the crown of your head, hips snapping as the dresser shakes behind you.

"shit that's it pretty girl- so warm and tight and perfect for me, so fuckin soft and pretty." He slurs, half lost in the clouded daze, lips parted and reddened, sweat clinging to the nape of his neck as you pull and tug at his soft curls.

"fuck, oh my god, sh- shuji-" you whine and whimper, moan and whisper, loud and broken and it's all lost under the wet sound of his hips snapping against yours, the repeated slapping sound punctuated by the rock of the dresser against the wall.

"I got you, I got you pretty doll,- hah, you feel like heaven, pretty princess pussy was made for me huh?"

Your lashes flutter, lips grazing his neck as you pull and tug and tighten your fingers in his curls, the one scratching down his shirt that clings with to the shifting muscles in his back. "I was, I promise," you babble, tears forming in your eyes as the mascara runs and smudges on the white linen. "I'm yours- I'm yours- I'm yours, all yours."

His cock twitches, pulses and stutters, hips stilling momentarily. "You're mine?" And then. "All mine? Only mine?"

You shuffle and grind up against him, that all too familiar wire of pleasure bubbling in your tummy. "Only yours, forever. Please, let me cum, can I cum?"

He lifts your chin then, a soft and tender kiss to your forehead, cheeks now tinted pink, a rosy sheen to his skin as his lips press softly to the crown of your head and you almost keen, a fluttery beat that only increases tenfold when his thumb finds your clit again to run smooth circles into it.

"Cum for me then sweetheart, cum for daddy and let me feel you," he says, and your lips part, hips rocking as you spasm and twitch with the orgasm that has your vision clouding white. You choke out his name and it feels reverential, feels tender and intimate and delicious coming from your swollen lips now wet and smudged with lipstick and he loves you dearly, loves you in a way that's terrifying and otherworldly.

He thrusts messily, a few pumps of his cock till he's spilling into you, warm and hot and sinking his forehead to yours, your name chanted and sweet on his lips till he slows his hips down and your breath softens as the heady pleasure carries the both of you into bliss.

"I love you," you say, mumbled against his shoulder as your breath evens out, hands running softly up and down his back as he pulls out.

"I know sweetheart, I know you do." And he presses an extra kiss to your cheek, hands now smoothing reassuring and loving circles into your hips as you both come down together.

It's overwhelming in the moments like this, somehow more intimate than the sex, when he looks on you and your reflection shimmers in his pupils blown wide with love and an adoration that borders on worship and he waits and kisses you softly, small little murmurs of your name on his lips.

"we're late, you made us late," you say with a hazy smile as your hands trail along his forearms, finding the veins and junctures, small scars and fissures in the skin that are silvery and pink in the light.

"such a greedy needy little thing aren't you? Came on my cock and now it's my fault we're late?" And it makes you laugh - so unreservedly, that the tension and pressure of the moment slips and peels away.

"you're the one who liked the dress a little too much."

He grins, thumb and forefinger taking your chin between them. "Well it is a nice dress isn't it? My pretty girl is just too pretty." And you love him entirely, so big and beautiful in all that he is, all the bad and the good that comes with him that maybe, being late is worth it.

You know he's worth it all and more.

I am not proofreading, I'm too embarrassed to go back and read it, take what you're given.

Reblogs appreciated though

[broomsick]

Self-care & connecting with nature deities during the wintertime

Is it still possible to connect with harvest and nature deities such as Freyr during the cold season?

Long answer short, yes. Obviously, absolutely. But you all saw that answer coming, right? So I’m here to give you some ideas, as the person who’s favorite season is winter and who made it their mission to help everybody like winter just a little more. And since I feel especially close to Yngvi-Freyr when it comes to the Gods, I will use him as an example throughout this post, though a lot of the following could apply to most nature deities.

Let us first examine a common misconception before we get to the bottom of this topic: the fields don’t die when the sun sets on the 31st of October. The earth still lives under thick layers of snow. The process of dormancy is absolutely crucial to the cycles of nature. And if, like me, you find Freyr to be a sort of guardian of these cycles, then you’ll know he manifests himself in so many ways, even where you might not think to look.

Have you heard about the holly and ivy tradition? It was common during the European Medieval times to decorate houses and halls using holly and ivy, because they were the two plants with leaves that stayed green, even in the dark and cold of winter. This type of practice is often referred to as "bringing the outside in", and it's something I'm quite fond of. I've no doubt it could be a great help if you're the type to feel depressed during the winter time. It's a way to remind oneself of how everpresent nature actually is. Lots of greenery remains despite the snow! And to ackowledge this fact and to work with it is such a great way to connect with nature Gods in general! It goes to show that you appreciate their blessings all year round, not just during spring and summer. While it's true that in many cases, the presence of deities such as Freyr may feel somehow "dimmed" during the winter time, I assure you, they don't disappear once the first snow falls! On the contrary, they are every bit as present and active as when spring comes! They simply manifest themselves in a different manner.

When winter comes, I love to work with evergreen spirits. I incorporate spruce, fir and cedar into my practice and in my offerings. I won't go into too much detail for this topic however, because I've written posts that pertained to it in the past (namely, this post on tree work and this one on land spirits). Since I don't have easy access to holly or ivy, I make due with evergreen! Not with any actual branches, except when I'm lucky enough to find some that were torn away by the wind. But rather, using representations of it. In the same manner, and in the spirit of "bringing the outside in", it's also possible to decorate using representations of the sun! Harvest deities such as Freyr are often associated with it due to its crucial role in the cycles of plant growth. Candles also make for great solar symbols, and to place them around the home is like lighting a handful of little suns to bring much needed light and warmth inside. What's more, lighting candles on the winter solstice night is a widespread practice among pagans today! It serves to symbolize the return of the sun, as the days start to grow longer again. Until then however, it can be soothing for one to light a candle every morning before school or work, and to call upon any harvest, nature or solar deity of their choice to ask for strength and motivation throught the day. Even when it's difficult for us to feel their presence, they always hear us.

Now, how to actually feel more connected to nature? Oftentimes, connecting with nature and connecting with Yngvi-Freyr are one and the same. And on a more personal note, a lot of the advice I received from him pertained exactly to that: I believe he's often urged me to go spend more time in nature when I am going through rough patches. I know the cold and the cloudy weather can make it depressing for a lot of people to go out. My advice on this is to take it step by step: no need to go on long, four-hour long hikes right away! After all, there is already much beauty to be seen close to home. And I can't put enough emphasis on that: dress warmly! Also, as a tool for motivation, prepare a treat for yourself to enjoy after you've gone out. Part of what makes me enjoy winter so much is the thought of the warmth and light which await inside after I’ve gone out into the cold. The home is as sacred as the outside world! So why not buy, or prepare a batch of cookies, a cup of hot chocolate or a spicy dinner! It's something I love to do as a way to motivate myself to go out more often. And I like to offer part of these to local land spirits and to the Vanir, to show my appreciation for the beauty of this season. Just as an aside, I find snow water to be a great such offering as well!

I know that I’m not revolutionizing the pagan scene with this post, as there’s only so many ways to connect with nature during winter. I think it’s important to keep in mind that the snow, rain and cold that this season brings is just as much part of nature as the greens and lively colors of spring and summer. For this reason, they are just as much a part of nature deities and what they represent. Deities have so many facets and depth, and it can be so fulfilling to explore these different aspects, and the way we perceive them. While it’s true that spiritually speaking, it often feels to us heathens as if Skaði is somehow “taking” Freyr’s place in the order of things for the time being— much like the Holly King takes the Oak King’s place in Celtic folklore. This doesn’t make it so he disappears! In my experience, he presides over the cycle of seasons as a whole, and he is every bit as present for his followers as he is during the winter. I can connect with Skaði during the summer in a similar manner. And I’m sure that the same can be said for so many other harvest deities.