#and its making everything hurt that much more

[kpoptarotastrology009]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS Part-1

Lilith in the 1st house : the person has a magnetic aura to them that makes people love them or hate them or both at the same time but in any case they think about them sexually and there's no doubt about that/ dark feminine energy

Lilith in the 10th house: it's the same as Lilith in the 1st house but the only difference when it's in the 10th house that it comes with rumors and maybe some problems in term of work and coworkers so yeah

Scorpio Mars: When these people set their mind to something, nothing can stop them. They’ve got this intense, magnetic energy that pulls you in and won’t let go. Scorpio Mars folks are all about getting to the bottom of things, no matter how deep they have to dig. They’re relentless, driven, and sometimes a little intimidating. You don’t want to mess with them because they play for keeps and don’t back down easily. Their passion is unmatched, and they bring a certain raw power to everything they do.

Sun in the 10th house: so let me tell you something, a lot of people talk about Leo suns and how they like the attention, but have you ever met someone who has their sun in the 10th house?! These people want power baby , they want to be in control and all the eyes on them they like that trust me

Moon in the 12th house : that's a hard placement to have , so first these people when you ask them about their emotion and they say they don't know, believe it or not they really don't know , it's like their emotion being hidden from them, when something happens they just don't feel anything or just don't know how to feel? this is so hard , and another thing, so these people are so delusional specially when it comes to their emotion, they fantasize a lot and live in another world, they love music Sooo much more that normal people do because music just takes them to their emotional World that's filled with illusion and they do anything they want there they just feel so happy doing that

Sagittarius Venus: Love for these individuals is a grand adventure. They’re always looking for a partner who can keep up with their wild spirit and thirst for new experiences. Honesty and freedom are non-negotiables for them, and they won’t stick around if they feel trapped or lied to. They bring a lot of enthusiasm and positivity into their relationships, making everything feel like an epic journey. Being with them means lots of spontaneous trips, deep philosophical talks, and never a dull moment.

Libra Risings: These people have a charming and diplomatic aura that makes them natural peacemakers. They’re always looking for balance and harmony in their relationships and surroundings. Libra Risings are social butterflies, often surrounded by a wide circle of friends. They have a keen sense of aesthetics and are drawn to beauty in all its forms. They’re the ones you go to for advice on style, relationships, and anything else that requires a touch of elegance.

Virgo moon : okay that's another hard placement to have , just imagine the amount of overthinking here , whenever is Virgo in your chart it's will make you overthink about the term of that planet , like some sort of anxiety ? And when it's in the moon , you will overthink your emotions, you will feel everything but you just can't describe it , for example if someone blocked you without a reason that will hurt you in someway and then you will overthink it like why and how and what's the reason and you will be thinking why they did that and 100 reasons comes to your mind and you feel bad, the insecurities and anxiety come to the surface , you're stomach hurts, you can't sleep, you can't stop thinking about it and this is for some basic cases , so imagine if it was a deeper cases ... That's scary to even think about...

Cap moon /Moon- Saturn ( conjunction/ opposite/ square): oh... I'm sorry... These people really needs emotional support, you can tell me anything but these people need love ,need care and need support, they act so strong on the outside but in the inside they are really sensitive, they just need to be loved and nurtured by a person or a mother figure

Neptune in the 5th house: this makes you so creative , your imagination is unlimited

Pisces Suns: These folks are deep in their feels and vibe on a different wavelength. They can sense what others are feeling without a word being said, making them super empathetic. Sometimes they seem spaced out or lost in their own world, which is just them getting lost in their dreams and fantasies. Pisces Suns are the creative types, always imagining new possibilities and seeing the beauty in things others might miss. They're like spiritual wanderers, flowing through life with an almost mystical vibe.

[norrisleclercf1]

Being pregnant with Max’s child means you force Max into taking bubble baths with you every evening he is home and he caresses the bump

A/N: Domestic Max with pregnant reader is just adorable

You wanted to kill Max, not really, you love your husband but right now its's almost the middle of June and boiling hot, and here you were pregnant during it all, you swear if you ever get pregnant again, you want it to be during the winter.

Sighing, you trudge around the house, the cats following after you, as you put a bath together, it was the only thing that helped your joints, keep your back from aching, and also was the only thing keeping you from ripping your husbands head off.

"Max?" You call, automatically hearing the heavy footsteps and him poking his head in and smiles softly seeing the bath all ready. "Want me to join?" You nod, eyes watery just picturing how perfect it's going to feel, Max smiles and slides his shirt off, and helps you take of your his shirt. "Max, everything hurts, I hate this," You mumble, and Max makes a noise, hating that you feel like this.

"I'm sorry," His voice really meaning it, rubbing his thumbs deep into your skin, which has you whimpering, "I hate you're in such pain," You smile gently, you don't mean to worry him, but honestly you know if Max could trade places instantly.

Settling into the water, you rest against Max's broad chest, he was so much bigger than you, and it was evident in the way his hands moved over your bump, slowly rubbing it as you close your eyes loving the way the heat seeps into your skin.

Max reaches for something and suddenly you jump feeling something cold on your belly, opening your eyes to see its oil. "Close your eyes, I've got you," Max whispers as he slowly starts to rub the oil into your skin as he mumbles words of love and praise into skin.

"You're so gorgeous, going to be the best mother to our child, so fucking perfect and good," Max kisses your neck as you whine, curling more into his body as he feels so proud to have this be a part of is life.

[teddybeartoji]

彡 OH, LITTLE PRINCE, LITTLE PRINCE...

☆. contains: prince!satoru gojo x gn!knight!reader; fluff (i'm lying i'm lying i'm lying), a reunion in the field? satoru just wants to turn back time wc: 1.6k

+ here's the previous part and here's the "i hunger to commit the act of touch" masterlist!

he's back here.

the field where he first met you.

he keeps coming back, again and again and again.

the prince pushes aside the few branches that hang in his way with a gentle hand and he's met with the most beautiful, the most peacuful sight in the world. it's hazy and it's warm, the sun bears down on the spot like guarding it is her life's purpose and gojo is grateful. the birds sit in the trees while singing their lovesongs and the grasshoppers hide in the grass, chirping as loudly as they can because... they can.

this is their home.

a kind breeze ruffles the prince's hair, it cradles his face and holds him close as he breathes in the fresh air. he loves being here. outside. he wants to feel everything, he wants to see everything. he will never get enough of the colors of the trees, the shades of the flowers, the melodies of the skies. he's sick of seeing brick walls and fancy clothes – he wants to roll around in the dirt! he wants to live.

the place looks like something out of a fairytale; gojo's eyes shine as he takes in his surroundings as if it's his first time there – the rain has washed away the blood and the ground has taken the bodies, leaving behind a clean slate.

an almost clean slate.

in the overgrown grass, he sees it—

the familiar glint of armor.

his heart races, his eyes grow big. he takes a cautious step into the field and away from the shady treeline, he's slow and steady; afraid to scare you away.

(to hurt you.)

the silver and the green look good together. tufts of grass sprout from between your body and arms, your legs, your fingers. no gauntlets... he's glad. the prince wants to see more of you but he's happy with even the slightest glimpses of skin – he wants to be closer to you. he wants to know you. he wants to help you shed the armor piece by piece, to lower the steel walls around yourself, but he knows not to rush it. your bare fingers are enough.

and your neck, your ears, your chin, your jaw. lips. cheeks and nose. forehead, your scar, your eyes. his breath hitches. it's really you. laying in the grass, basking in the sun.

(like you always do.)

he takes another step. you don't mind.

gojo can see you clearly now and he almost regrets his decision to move closer. there's a faint tug at the corner of your mouth, the slightest, and his stomach fills with butterflies.

"stalking now, are you?" a teasing lilt. more butterflies. they're so colorful, they're so pretty. "my highness."

a scarred eye cracks open and his knees almost buckle from beneath him. freckles adorn your skin and he feels lovesick. you're so warm, but the prince reckons the sun has got nothing on you. he's known the sun for his entire life and you only for a mere few months, hell, he's only seen you twice – but in his mind it's clear, it's so fucking obvious, that you shine way brighter than her.

(no matter how much you try to hide it.)

"i– " he stammers. he's been in this situation hundreds of times before but he still doesn't know what to say.

but despite his lack of words, his lips stretch into a charming smile as he stares down at you. "no."

he watches you push yourself up onto your elbows before raising a hand to shield your eyes from the sun – you, you, you.

"i missed you."

the prince's body acts on its own; the words form somewhere deep inside his chest, behind his ribs, and they crawl up his throat like they're dying to reach you. they are.

"ridiculous as always, hm?" his heart is races. nothing, and nobody, excites him like you do and that's saying a lot.

"you love it."

you give him a deep hum. the smirk on your lips doesn't fade.

you let yourself fall back against the carpet of grass and splay out your arms as if you're making an snow angel. "right."

he keeps looking at you. admiring. you look like a painting; a watercolor one – no rough corners and no harsh edges, the soft hues hold you so gently. it just feels right. there's no need for a frame, you're perfect without it. the prince takes another step and he waits for your remark, but it never comes. you want him beside you. his own smile grows wider, his chest bigger.

but the second his knees finally hit the ground, when he's mere inches from you – cold droplets of water hit his skin and he struggles to tear his eyes from you to look up at the sky instead. the sun has disappeared in a matter of a second and she's been replaced by dark clouds. the prince's heart bleeds. again. a cold gust of wind ruffles his hair and he lowers his head to meet your gaze. the faint smile stays on your lips, though it doesn't seem real anymore. now it just seems fake.

you're not happy.

he sees it now - you're the last of the dried blood, the last rotting body laying in the field and now the rain has come to wash you away as well; to clean up the mess.

there's no stopping it.

his marble fingers reach out to grab your hand, your cheek, but you're sinking. fast. you fade as the watercolor painting takes you in; you disappear as the grass swallows you whole and his fingers dig into the dirt, desperately clawing at it to save you. panic runs in his veins and his hands tremble. he can hear his own heartbeat thrumming in his ears.

"no– please!" the little prince sobs. "don't go, please!"

the world doesn't listen. it's not up to him.

(nor is it up to you.)

it happens so fast. too fast. you're gone now, and the prince is left kneeling there with glassy eyes and a broken heart.

again.

he clutches at his chest – it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. he can't breathe, he can't think; his body feels numb and so does his mind. he wishes he could go with you, he wishes the nature would take him just as it took you. the tears won't stop, his eyes hurt. his head hurts. hurts, hurts, hurts.

thunder booms in the background and the birds are long gone. no more lovesongs.

gojo paws at his own neck when his throat starts closing up. now, he really can't breathe. his tears mix with the overbearing rain that's trying to drown him; lighting strikes somewhere behind him – it's getting closer and closer. there's dirt underneath his perfectly manicured nails, there's dirt on his pearly white shirt. his vision blurs and everything muddles together. he tries to take in another breath of air, but he just can't.

(it was his fault.)

the thunder clashes once more and—

he's not in the field anymore.

there's no sun, no rain, no dark clouds, no trees nor birds. shadows surround him, they circle him and wait for him to fall again, just so they can plague him some more.

drenched in sweat, panting and heaving, he sits on the massive king sized bed in his bedroom in the castle. it's still hard to breathe, it still hurts. he wipes away the tears brimming in his lashline before setting his eyes on the cracked open window and the forest that sleeps behind it.

it's cold.

puffs of air escape his lips as he breathes and though he's sweating, he's far from being warm. his hands shake when he pushes himself off the bed and his steps are weak when he makes his way over to the glass pane. he feels numb. he's sad. the prince watches the snow fall ever so peacefully, he watches it form a blanket on top the trees and the ground. stars shine in the dark night sky but when he raises his head, his attention is solely on the moon. she's beautiful. the prince hopes she's guiding you, holding you. keeping watch.

(he wonders whether you sometimes look at the moon with him in mind.)

the cold air nips at his skin and he shivers at the bite. he doesn't want to close the window – it feels like another betrayal. what if you want to come in?

he knows it's ridiculous. suguru keeps teasing him about it, his mother keeps lecturing him about it. they don't know what they're talking about – he wants to see you again.

not the dream version. he wants to see you. he wants to apologize. he wants to say that he's sorry. he wants you to smile. he wants you to be mad. he wants you to tease him. he wants you to bark and bite. hiss and scratch. he knows he deserves every mean glare and stare, every poisonous word. he'd bleed to make it all up to you. to take it all back.

obsession. devotion. love.

he's always been a sensitive boy.

he needs to make it up to you, and he will.

even if that's the last thing he ever does.

+ to my beloved prince!gojo truthers @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat & @staryukis & @neptuneblue & @dollsuguru & @mossmurdock & @kissxcore i love you all so very much<333

[papaya-twinks]

hyyy

Can i get a Lando fluff+smut?

Maybe y/n is like Zak's daughter, and its like a forbidden love trope?

With a lot of teasing, almost getting caught, stolen glances, and Zak is totally not blind??

Love u

Warnings: Smut, 18+, fingering, oral (fem receiving)

Pairing: Lando Norris x ceo!daughter!reader

A/N - I’m gonna do Andrea Stella instead of Zak Brown coz Stella is a sexy ass surname

“So, basically, this is where we paint the car,” your father led you through the factory. You nodded, still bored out your kiln as you stared at everything, relatively uninterested. You weren’t the type of F1 fan who was interested in how the car works, more about the drivers and racing. “We’re gonna go see Lando and Oscar,” Andrea spoke, leading you lit the factory and to the main lobby of the MTC.

You knew them, having met them multiple times round the garage, and you’d much rather find yourself hanging out with them. You weren’t necessarily interested in looking at how they made the driver’s asses comfortable with the seating, so this was a welcome change. “Hey,” you smiled, seeing Lando and Oscar standing by some of the display cars in the MTC. 

“Hey,” Lando said, hands in his pockets as he smiled at you. “Hi,” Oscar said. “I’ll leave you with them,” Andrea said, “I have meetings,”. You nodded, shaking your head as you watched him leave. “Let me guess, he bored you to death with meetings?” Lando asked, as Oscar stood awkwardly beside you. “I’m gonna go to my room, leave you to it,” Oscar said. You did feel bad for doing it, but it was hard to include such an introverted person. 

 You sighed, watching him walk away before turning to Lando again. “Bit of an introvert, isn’t he?” he shrugged, hands still in his pockets. “Guess so,” you nodded, looking down at the car behind you. “Can’t image living with Andrea,” Lando pulled a face, making you snort. “A lot more annoying than he is with you,” you laughed. 

“So,” he raised an eyebrow. It was getting increasingly harder every single time you two spoke to ignore the sexual tension between the two of you, your conversations awkward. “Did well on your race,” you commented, looking down and then back up again. “P5?” he raised an eyebrow, “that’s good?”. You internally groaned - he’d been making it incredibly hard to converse normally with him. 

“I don’t know, Lando,” you groaned, standing up from leaning against the display car and walking. He followed, eyebrow raised. “You didn’t watch my race?” he said, a lock of mock- offence on his face, “I’m wounded,” he clutched his chest. You snorted, rolling your eyes at his words. “I did, just don’t remember,” you said, stating the truth. “Wow, thanks for showing how long little I mean to you,” he teased, poking your sides as you laughed. 

“Oh, you know you mean more,” you walked up the stairs, looking into the small rooms, some for massages, some for other things. “Oh yeah? How much, then?” he raised an eyebrow, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Hm?” you hummed absentmindedly, looking into the rooms. “I said, how much do I mean to you?” Lando stopped you, his hand on you waist, pushing you onto the room. 

“I, uh,” you flushed, looking at him, standing against you, your back to the wall, “a bit,”. Lando raised an eyebrow, his face centimetres from yours. “Is that all?” he put on a facade of mock hurt, his hand clutching his chest once more. “Well, more than that,” he said, almost as if he could hear your silent plea to him. ‘Please get rid of the sexual tension and just do it’. He raised an eyebrow at your almost desperate expression, hands coming to your waist. 

“Someone looks needy,” he commented, tugging at your tube top. In terms of appearance, he thought you looked like every pretty rich girl - the classic boss’ daughter. But in terms of personality? Oh you were refreshingly different. Not throwing yourself at him like other girls, but still showing your attraction. “D’you want this?” he asked, silently hoping you’d give him green light to go. 

Your nod was all he needed, his eyes darkening as he kicked the door shut behind him, lifting your tube top off and over your head. “Lando,” you gasped, his lips coming to your collarbone as his large hands pulled at your skirt. “Been wanting this for ages,” Lando mumbled against your warm skin, “wanted to just bend you over the second I saw you,”. His words were filthy, sending a jolt of heat between your legs. 

“Fuck, so pretty,” he muttered, turning on around so your chest was to the wall, his hands culling your breasts. “Lando,” you gasped again, his body rocking your slightly, before he pulled you back to the small massage bed, pushing you onto your knees. “So pretty like that,” Lando grinned, your add pushed against him as he bent you down, your chin resting on your hands. 

You didn’t even try to hold back the moans teasing on your tongue as he pushed a finger to your panties, your wetness spilling through, coating his finger. “You’re soaking, Y/N,” he said, using your name for the first time in ages, the way it rolled off his tongue making your body jolt in surprise. “Like that, d’you?” he asked, leaning down, pushing your panties down. 

“Lando!” you gasped, his tongue teasing your folds as he ran through your wetness, one hand pushing your back down and the other sliding his index finger into your opening. The moan you let out when he pumped you slowly with his finger, pushing another in. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” Lando ran his hand down your back, your hips bucking into his nose as he laughed, pulling back. 

“Someone’s needy?” he asked, pulling down his trousers, his cock springing onto your back. “Needy,” Lando said again, his hand pumping his length a few times before he aligned with your opening, pushing just the head in. “Oh fuck, Lando,” you moaned a he bottomed out, his hips stuttering as he twitched inside of you. “Fuck, Y/N, so tight,” he groaned, rocking his hips slowly as you gasped, eyes wide. 

“Feel s’good,” you whined as he quickened his pace, “like heaven,”. He chuckled at your words, his hips slamming into you as you moaned. “How long have you wanted this, hm?” he cooed into your ear. “Since I first saw you,” you mewled, “been wanting you for so long,”. Your words made him smirk slightly, “How much do I mean to you?”. You didn’t even need to think about it, and replied instantly, “so much, Lan, so fucking much,”. The knot in your stomach slowly unravelled as you shrieked, eyes rolling. 

“Shit,” he cursed, “your dad’s done,”. My eyes widened at his words, his orgasm following after. “Fuck, put your stuff back on,” he threw you his clothes, pulling out of you. This wasn’t the ideal way he wanted to finish with you, but he had to, or you’d both be dead. “Go,” he hissed, pushing you out the room. And your dad wasn’t fazed in the slightest, finding you both in the same position he’d left you. 

He didn’t need to know Lando had your panties stuffed in his pocket. 

A/N - my boyfriend told me I fucking MEWL wtf ??? 😀🔫

[killerlookz]

Is It Really You? | Joost Klein

description: Based on the song Is It Really You? by Loathe (aka one of the most beautiful songs of all time i'm being so serious) Following a breakup with your long-term boyfriend, the man you were certain you would marry, a night with your best friend, Joost proves that love may lie elsewhere for you.

content: Joost Klein x f! reader, 18+ suggestive content (no smut), RPF, smoking, mention of drinking, angst, hurt/comfort, breakups, cheating, fluff, best friends to lovers(?).

word count: 3363

"Is it really you...? Let's search the sky for a while, you and I, collide like two stars for a while, you and I."

Your eyes burn as another bitter tear falls down your cheeks, the taste of salt grazing your quivering lips as the droplet drips off your chin. The early summer air was getting cooler as the sun had long been set, a small breeze stinging your tearful eyes as it blew past your face.

"Oh," The word drops painfully from the mouth of the man beside you, as if you had just broken his heart right then and there, "Oh, don't cry." The familiar voice of your best friend was of little comfort now.

You suck in a deep breath, shaky as your chest spasms, struggling to maintain composure. You gaze out at the city that surrounds you, bright and alive with a bustling nightlife, a nightlife you had found yourself so often partaking in. But tonight, as you sat on the roof of your apartment, you were merely an observer, far removed from the fun of the city.

"Five years, Joost." You turn to face the blonde next to you, "five, down the drain."

His face is pained, pink lips pulled downwards as his eyelids fall and eyebrows furrow, "Het spijt me." (I am sorry) He shakes his head.

The last three weeks had been nothing but sorries, to the point the phrase had begun to make you nauseous, your stomach churning as the condolence had left Joost's mouth. Everything about him told you that he actually meant it, but still- you couldn't bear to hear any more sorries.

"I thought I was going to marry him," You turn away from Joost, facing back to the skyline that surrounded you, observing the buildings, and the multitudes of colors that shone from their windows. Your chest ached, you didn't understand how someone you had loved so much and for so long could leave in an instant, seemingly so nonchalantly, with not so much as to even give you a face-to-face goodbye, "Fuck." You mutter, feeling a familiar anger begin to bubble inside you- what a fucking coward.

A trembling hand reaches for the pack of cigarettes that sits beside you, grabbing the warped cardboard, and pulling out another cigarette. Looking into the box, only one remained, had you not been so consumed by your emotions you probably would have felt bad smoking almost the entire pack, considering they weren't yours.

"There's one left," You mutter, tipping the box in Joost's direction, offering him the remaining cigarette, despite the entire pack having been his in the first place.

"I'm ok," He shakes his head, "It's yours."

A small smile pulls at your lips in response to the gesture, but you just cannot take that response,

"No," You push the open cardboard towards him, "Take it. Humor me please." You had hoped he would accept, and indulge you in your shared bad habit together.

Joost reluctantly takes the pack from you, slowly pulling out the single remaining cigarette, and placing it between his lips. You watch as he struggles with the lighter in his hand that is clearly on its last life. With a flick, he's finally able to produce a small, orange flame, just enough to light the end of the cigarette.

He passes the lighter to you, his fingertips lightly brushing your palms as he hands the small, black object over to you. His slight touch sends shivers down your spine, almost making you forget your unfortunate situation for a split second.

Tilting your head down, and using a cupped hand to shield you from the gentle breeze, you attempt to light the cigarette that hangs from your lips. Your finger swipes down the cool metal, but you're unable to produce a spark, the serrated metal wheel is unturning as it bores into your skin. You attempt a few more times, left only with your thumb sore from its rough movements against the hardness of the metal.

"Here," Joost says, clocking your lack of success with the lighter. He leans in towards you, touching the end of his cigarette to yours. You note the proximity between you, his face so close to yours. You can't help but take a moment to admire him, the way his blue eyes glimmer behind the lens of his glasses, how his hair is just the perfect amount of messy, and how the warm colored city lights highlight the angles of his face against the backdrop of night.

Your spark of admiration reminds you of simpler times, of younger years, spent pining over your best friend in all of your teenage awkwardness. You had spent most of your childhood with an insatiable crush on Joost, one that went absolutely nowhere. Minus that one time, the two of you shared a drunken kiss four years ago, but it had meant nothing other than the fact that you were angry at your then-boyfriend, and you had had far too much to drink.

Still, you remember it like it was yesterday, having found out just days prior your boyfriend, Christian, had been hooking up with his ex-girlfriend the whole year you had been together. If you had known then what you know now, you would have left him, but having been dumb and 21 the answer to your problems was fighting fire with fire.

You and Christian had been at a party thrown by a mutual friend, having not spoken to him since you had found out what he had done, you showed up to the party with Joost, who you had, subsequently spent the entire night with. The kiss had taken place after god only knows how many drinks, and a night spent dancing with Joost like he was your boyfriend. You and Joost had found yourselves on a couch in the living room, Christian staring dead at the pair of you from across the room, his eyes burning into you- it had felt as good of a time as ever, Heartless by The Weeknd boomed over the speakers, to give him a taste of his own medicine.

To make a short story even shorter, you and Joost had become the focal point of the party for the remaining length of the song, having had him pushed back on the couch as you laid straddled on top of him, lips locked in a furious kiss, wandering hands exploring each other's bodies in a way that hadn't been entirely appropriate for such a public setting.

Following a heated argument after that incident, you and Christian considered each other even, willing to move on with the relationship as if nothing had happened. Joost didn't feel quite the same, the two of them had been on rocky waters ever since then, which, he didn't mind, he was far from fond of the man you swore up and down you were going to marry one day.

Blinking a few times you return yourself to the present moment, watching as Joost's chest rises, sucking in a breath, stoking the flame of his own cigarette so he can light yours. You inhale as well, which finally allows your cigarette to light.

You smile to thank him, the cigarette still pressed between your lips. You place two fingers on either side of the cigarette, taking a proper drag, feeling a familiar warm prickling in your throat as the smoke enters your lungs.

You face away from Joost to exhale, grey smoke dancing around you as another gust of wind approaches.

"I just don't understand," You start, your voice beginning to waver as memories of the last five years you spent with Christian came back to you, "How could he?" You inhale once more, deeply, hoping that you can receive at least some vague headrush from the nicotine. Exhale. "After all the shit I put up with, he leaves me." You face back to Joost, a grimace forming on your face, "With a text."

You bite at the inside of your cheeks, attempting to suppress the way your lips quiver as a sob threatens to escape you.

Joost's head hangs to the side, sympathy spread across his face,

"I don't think there's anything to understand." He presses the cigarette in his hand up against his lips, taking a quick inhale before speaking again, "He's just a dick."

"Easy for you to say," You sigh, "You're biased, you never liked him."

"Yeah," Joost says, matter-of-factly, "He spent the first year of your relationship fucking his ex-girlfriend."

"I cheated too," You mumble, you had never quite forgiven yourself for that incident, no matter how perfect it had felt in the moment.

"We kissed once while we were drunk." He furrows his eyebrows to take another drag of his cigarette.

"Still cheating," You shrug, even if he did have a fair point, you having kissed Joost in pure spite didn't exactly equal a year's worth of hooking up with someone else, "I mean," You pause to take a drag of your cigarette, "If I was your girlfriend, would you want me kissing other guys- even if it was because you had done something too?"

"If you were my girlfriend I wouldn't have sex with anyone else in the first place."

"That's not my point." You shake your head

"But that's my point." He says in earnest.

You flick your eyes up to look at him to find him staring back at you, his gaze unwavering from where it meets yours. He was right and you shouldn't have let the relationship go on for as long as it did.

With a blink more tears are spilling out of your eyes, unable to hold back your cries much longer.

"I wasted five years of my life," The tears continue to pour down your cheeks, "Five years is a long time."

A small smile appears on Joost's face, a sign of encouragement,

"Someday being with someone for five years will feel like nothing," You watch as the end of his cigarette burns down with another drag, a puff of grey smoke exiting his mouth as he speaks again, his voice softening, "But I know it hurts now."

"Yeah," You concede, hanging your head. "It does."

"I know the last thing you want is the 'it gets better with time' speech, but i promise you, it will."

"I believe you." You cannot look at Joost as you take another drag from the cigarette between your fingers, continuing to stare at the concrete roof of your apartment building as the tears continue to stream down your face. Deep down you know he's right, that one day you'll be with someone for far longer than five years, but it was hard to imagine all of the grief you'd have to push yourself through before getting to that point, mourning the last five years of your life seemed like a daunting challenge ahead.

You push what remains of your cigarette into the concrete, watching as the small flame extinguishes with a small plume of smoke.

"Come here." Joost sighs, slinging an arm around your hunched-over body. Instinctively, your head falls to the side, resting against Joost's shoulder. Moments of affection had been scarce between the two of you since the incident at the party, you knew that part of you feared what sort of emotions would be brought if you let yourself get too close in physical proximity to him.

But now it didn't matter, you were more than receptive of a shoulder to cry on.

The pair of you sit in silence for a moment, both fixated on the dark sky that stretches around you in every direction. The stars are nothing but a faint twinkle tonight, much as they had been every night, something you had gotten used to since moving to the city.

Joost's palm rubs soft circles into your back, lulling your shaky breaths to a stable cadence. You feel heavy as you lay on Joost's shoulder, your eyes burning and your head aching from how much you had been crying.

You can't help but let your mind wander, mostly about the past, about your life before Christian. Tonight had reminded you of old times, of when it was just you and Joost, the pair of you attached at the hip. Neither of you had very many friends growing up, and while you could appreciate your expansive friend groups now, and how much your lives had changed since you were teens, you couldn't help but miss moments like this, moments where you had him all to yourself.

You had accepted a long time ago that you were probably never going to completely get over the crush you had on Joost. Not that it mattered much anyway, it seemed harmless, and it obviously hadn't inhibited you from finding love elsewhere. A puppy crush was all you had thought it had waned down to. Joost seemed to only get more attractive as he aged anyway, having truly grown into himself. Sometimes you couldn't believe the man he had matured into- proud was an understatement.

"Feeling any better?" He asks, his voice low as to not startle you as he breaks the silence.

"I don't know." You mumble, your voice threatening to crack once more and your mind is a mess with pure confusion as to what it was you were feeling. Your heart thumps in your chest at a volume that feels much louder than normal, pumping at a rate that seems much too fast for the situation you're in, "Can I ask you a weird question?"

"Sure" He chuckles, "Ask me whatever you want."

"Did you like it?" The question quickly slips from your lips.

"Like what?" He responds, clearly confused.

"Like," You begin to trail off, unsure if you want to clarify your question, "When we-uh kissed?"

The soft motions he draws against your back are suddenly halted, and it feels like the entire city has gone quiet, like time has stood still, Your heart drops straight into your stomach, fearing the outcome of his rigid bodily reaction.

"Y-yeah, yeah, I liked it." His voice becoming more confident as words progressed.

"I did too," It seemed useless now to wallow in the guilt you had felt about that situation, you liked it, "Do you think we could-" You cut yourself off, not sure of how to finish the question.

Joost places three fingers on your jaw, grabbing at your chin to pull your gaze up to him.

You look at Joost through tearful eyes, questioning how to make your next move. A few seconds of anxious silence pass between the two, breathing heavily.

Joost's fingers linger on your jaw as you feel him pull you closer ever-so-slightly, the two of you inching nearer to each other. Unable to wait any longer, you push yourself forward, at the same time, Joost seems to have had the same idea, the two of you colliding with a force you hadn't expected, which almost takes the breath straight from your lungs.

But you only wish to get closer as your lips clash against Joost's with a hunger you weren't used to. You couldn't remember the last time you had experienced a kiss with such passion, with such intent behind it.

Your hands find themselves tangled up in Joost's hair, threading through and pulling at the already messy strands. Joost's own hands are planted firmly on your body, one on the back of your neck and the other on your waist.

You began to slowly tip back, removing a hand from Joost's hair to maintain stability as you lowered your back to the concrete. Joost follows suit, not breaking the kiss as you pull him down with you.

He props himself up with a hand next to your head, using his other free hand to hold your cheek. You wrap both of your arms around his neck, attempting to pull him further down on top of you.

Joost's kisses soon leave your lips, soft lips trailing down your jaw and eventually your neck. Your chest rises, back arching as he connects with your throat, sucking softly. You let your head tip back onto the concrete, staring up at the sky as Joost continues.

Somehow the stars feel much brighter now, although you know that they aren't. But you're memorized by their faint twinkle in the heat of the moment, as your hands desperately grasp at Joost's hair, and your breathing begins to speed up.

Once more, you're overwhelmed, eyes damp once more as they well up with tears. You pinch your eyes closed, trying to force the droplets away, but it does nothing but push your salty tears down your face. It didn't feel so bad to cry now, not as Joost ghosts your neck with soft kisses, his hand dropping to draw reassuring circles on your hip with his thumb.

You arch your back, allowing Joost to wrap an arm under you, holding you tight. You whine as his teeth graze your neck, quickly soothing the small bite with his tongue. It's obvious Joost notices your response to the action, repeating it over a few more times, surely bursting some blood vessels along the way.

You recognized the sensation that was building inside of you, the way the muscles in your legs tightened and your abdomen strained, the paralyzing feeling of want terrorizing every nerve in your body. You bend your leg, pushing your hips forward. With your sudden movement, Joost's hand slips from behind your back to your thigh, his fingertips just below the hem of your pajama shorts. It's not quite where you want him.

A strangled, "Please," leaves your throat, causing Joost to hesitate, lifting his head from where it hung by your neck, his hand dropping from your thigh.

Pity is written all over his face as he looks down at you, fuck.

"I'm sorry," He shakes his head

"What?"

"We shouldn't-"

"No?" You choke, and it's like you could feel him slipping through your fingers, you clench your jaw, his name bitten into your tongue. You let your head fall to the side, the concrete is harsh, scraping against your cheek.

"Stop," You feel Joost's hand graze your arm, "Please look at me."

You can't bear to lift your head up, shame written all over your face. First your boyfriend now him.

"I don't mean to upset you, please, liefje, look at me."

His use of the phrase liefje making you immediately turn your head, confused.

"Don't call me that if you don't mean it." You frown

"I do mean it."

"Sure."

Joost lowers his head, pressing a kiss to your forehead,

"Believe me," He mumbles, his lips still resting against your hairline.

"Then why can't we go any further?" You wince at the words that come from your mouth.

"We will," He raises his head to look you in the eyes, "When you're ready."

"I am," You furrow your eyebrows, "I've known you for 15 years, I am more than ready."

Joost frowns, "You just got out of a five-year relationship."

"Do you think I'm using you as a rebound?"

"What-no," He shakes his head, "I just don't want to fuck up your healing process."

"What if you speed it up?" You ask, lifting your head from the concrete.

"And what if I make it worse?"

"You won't" You plead

"Not tonight." He sighs, dipping his head to place another kiss on your forehead, "Let me take you out first, we'll make it special."

A small smile grazes your lips, your heart warmed at his effort,

"I care about you, y/n, I don't want to just have sex with you because we're in the mood, okay?" He speaks earnestly, making your pulse quicken.

"Okay," You whisper, "Can you at least stay the night?"

"I'll stay as long as you want," he smiles, and a few moments of comfortable silence engulf you both before he speaks again, "You know I love you, right?" You're unsure of if it's platonic love, or something more, but it doesn't seem to matter now, the very simple fact that he loves you was all you could really focus on.

"I love you too." You're unsure of how you mean it either, knowing only that you love him. Just as you always had.

[dollfacefantasy]

ddlg with chris!!!😫

who else need daddy chris rn 😔

chris redfield x fem!reader

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, ddlg, p in v, cockwarming

tags: @nexysworld @d10nyx @pupthepokemonenthusiast

It’d been a hard day for you, and Chris knew it. He could tell from the second you got home. He could tell from the rhythm of your steps, the measure of your breaths, and the wistful look in your eyes when you stepped into the living room with him. Every theory he had was confirmed when he heard you call for him.

“Daddy?”

Your voice is soft and demure, how it sounds when you get in this mood. It’s muscle memory at this point, but it’s like two wires connect among the circuitry of his brain. He’s in a mood too now. The one that directly complements yours.

“C’mere, princess,” he calls in return and pats his lap, his arms already open and awaiting your arrival.

In seconds, your bag is on the floor against the wall and you’ve closed the distance between you two. Your ass finds its familiar perch on his thigh while the rest of you sinks into his broad, pillowy chest. He strokes your head and keeps you secure against the heat of his body.

“There’s my little girl,” he murmurs.

His palm intrinsically remembers the way it’s supposed to move up and down your spine. His leg bounces a few times just to remind you that he’s here, and he’s in control now. There’s nothing for you to worry about when daddy’s got you.

That glowing warmth begins to settle over your shoulders. Your stresses leak away from your brain, leaving it empty and swimming with nothing but your want for him.

“Tell daddy what’s got you down, sugar,” he says.

A lot of the time, once you had this go-ahead, everything would just pour out of you like a broken faucet, but not right now. You weren’t in the mood to vent right now. You were in the mood for daddy to make everything better.

“Too much goin’ on,” you say simply as you slot your face in the crook of his neck.

He hums with understanding and pulls you in even closer, like it was possible for the two of you to meld together.

“Too much going on?” he repeats, “They got my baby working too hard, huh?”

You nod to the leading questions, wanting to reach the destination.

“That’s not fair. You’re not made for thinking. That’s why you got a daddy,” he murmurs, his fingers coasting upwards to massage the base of your neck.

“Mmhmm,” you hum, drawing out the syllables, “Makes my head hurt.”

“Where’s it hurt, baby?” he asks.

“Here, here, here,” you say, pointing front and center on your forehead and then behind each of your ears.

He responds in kind and lands his lips on each spot. Each kiss is precise and tender. He makes a little “mwah” sound to really drive home the power of these.

“Feel any better? Or do you need a few more?” he asks, his lips already brushing your forehead while he speaks.

“Few more,” you answer without a second thought. You were never one to turn down kisses.

He gives you the few more, and your dangling feet begin swaying back and forth subconsciously. He notices in an instant, a small tell you were slipping deeper into a docile, malleable state of mind. He guides you back a bit and tilts your chin up, wanting to look into those eyes that’d be going glossy in no time.

“Tell you what, sweetheart. I think daddy’s got an even better fix for this,” he says and smacks a kiss on your temple.

You look up at him curiously though you have an idea of what’s coming. The two of you had a familiar routine when it came to you feeling spread thin. He boosts you to your feet and tugs down your bottoms and panties, leaving you in just the t-shirt you’re wearing.

“Why don’t you grab your game, baby? Then you can come relax with daddy,” he instructs.

You nod and move to follow the directions. While you’re gone, Chris prepares himself for you. He lifts his hips and pushes his pants down to his ankles. His cock lays against the crease of his thigh, warm and heavy. Grabbing it, he gives it a few strokes to get it stiffened up. After all, nothing relaxed his sweet girl more than a few minutes on it.

You scurry back into the room, still pantless with your Nintendo in your hands. You head to him and stand between his legs. He turns you around by your hips and then guides you down onto his length.

“That’s a good girl,” he grunts as your heat engulfs him.

His head rests against the chair, and he lets out a shaky breath. You were so fucking tight and wet. Your pussy took the thickness of his cock like that was its purpose, and he couldn’t get enough.

Once you’re settled he pulls you towards him so your back is against his chest. You squirm a little to get comfortable, raising one of your feet to rest on his thigh. You settle in as if nothing is amiss. He watches over your shoulder as your game boots up. The little characters dance across the loading screen before you take control and start running around the map.

He relaxes too. His arms come to rest around your waist while his fingers rub your tummy gently.

“Look daddy. You like her dress?” you ask him as you show off the little outfit you’d dressed up the character in.

“Mhm. She’s pretty. Just like you,” he mumbles and kisses behind your ear.

You laugh a little and continue playing, showing him the different things you’d built in the game and mini tasks you had to complete.

To be honest, moments like these helped Chris relax too. His cock buried inside you as you sat there and brightened up the room. It was soothing, therapeutic even. You were dripping all over him, moving the little joysticks around as your slick dribbled over his balls.

He rubs your sides, the care he has for you seeping from his palms into the softness of your torso. Every so often, you’d move a bit to adjust yourself, and he would grit his teeth to resist the urge to thrust into your warmth. He manages to restrain himself though, knowing you just needed some time to relax before more stimulation.

Staying still for a while more, he allows you that. It’s only when he sees you beginning to stall in your game that he squeezes your hips and rolls his own as if he’s getting comfortable. You’d been trying to decide what you wanted to do next in your game, but the motion draws a whine from your throat, and you tilt your head back to look up at him.

He smiles at your sweet expression and drags one of his thumbs down your jawline. “What’re you looking at, hm?” he teases, “Is it daddy’s turn to play?”

You nod, and he rewards you with a peck to your lips. He hooks his large palms under your knees and folds your legs flush against the rest of your body. Your breath gets shakier as the elevated position lets his cock reach even deeper inside you.

You keep playing your games for a handful of thrusts, but the way he’s sliding in and out of you, hitting even the deepest of your sweet spots makes you put the handheld console aside. He nuzzles the side of your head.

“There we go. You feel a little better, baby?” he murmurs against your ear.

“Mhm,” you whimper. A soft, breathy moan leaves your throat as he pumps into you a little quicker. The pace was still nice and slow, supplying you with an even, steady stream of pleasure.

“Good girl,” he says, “You just let go, let daddy do all the work. Just let that pretty little head go empty.”

You nod lazily and turn your head to plant sloppy, weak kisses on his neck. He grunts at the feeling of your saliva coating his skin, digging his fingers into the dough of your legs. His hips continue rhythmically thrusting into your wanting hole. The feeling satisfies you like no other. You feel full and sated, like there’s nothing left on earth to long for. It makes it easier to turn your brain off.

“That’s my baby,” he coos, “My sweet little girl. Daddy’s here.”

Your noises are soft, cute mewls and delicate whines. Chris cherishes each one, savoring the way they drift to his ear and pull him further to release. He knows you’re getting closer too from the way you’re clamping down on him effortlessly. Every thrust massaged his thick shaft between your velvety walls. It never took much to make you cum when you were in this space.

He tilts his head down and steals your lips off his neck, connecting them with his own. Amidst the kiss, he feels your hips grinding forward a bit in an attempt to reciprocate his thrusts.

“So cute, princess,” he smiles against your lips.

You merely whimper in response and lean in for more kisses. He indulges you before pulling back and looking into your glazed eyes.

“You gonna cum soon?” he grunts.

“Yeah, daddy,” you whimper. Whines bubble from your lips at a higher frequency now and he ups his thrusts to match.

“Gotta use your manners first, babydoll. I know I’ve taught you how to ask for what you want,” he tells you.

A strangled breath comes from you and your eyes screw shut. You wanted to let it all go, but right now to your little mind, being a good girl was more important than fleeting pleasure.

“Can I please - mm - Can I finish, daddy? Pretty please?’ you ask, lips jutting out into a small pout.

He grins and squeezes your legs gently. “Perfect, angel. So polite,” he praises, “Yes, you can finish.”

“Thank you, daddy,” you whimper quickly before your back arches off his chest and you cum. You become impossibly tighter around his cock, and his moan accompanies yours as you gush around his length.

His arms fully support your weight as you lose yourself in the throes of release. He fucks up into you deep enough to hit the switch that keeps you a babbling, squirming mess against him. And now that he knows you’re over the edge and feeling good, he can let go himself. He feels the tightness of an impending orgasm and lets it snap.

He cums inside you, warm ropes of cum filling your insides. He knew you always craved that ultimate connection, that absolute claim on your body when you were feeling like this. So he provides that for you and drains himself in your cunt.

You start coming down from your high, melting back against his chest. His arms finally put your legs down and allow you to rest on his lap. He encircles them around you and holds you close while he peppers kisses on your cheek. His cock stays buried inside you. You needed a slow pull out, nothing jarring or sudden.

“Did that feel good, baby? Is your headache all gone?” he asks softly.

“Yeah,” you respond, “Feel a lot better.”

He smiles at the tender tone your voice takes on. Your eyes were drooping a bit too.

“Daddy always makes it better, yeah?” he asks.

You nod and smile, nestling your face against his neck.

“I think daddy’s gonna clean you up now and then put you down for a nap,” he says while rubbing the small of your back.

You nod again. He slowly pulls out of you and turns your body so he can scoop you up against his chest and stand with you in his arms. You nuzzle his neck before resting your head on his shoulder.

“Love you, daddy,” you murmur.

“Love you too, baby.”

[tsukimefuku]

the letter ꕥ higuruma hiromi

summary: reader writes a letter for an absentee. one that she will never send.

tags: f!reader, implied past relationship, higuruma x reader, angst, break up, longing and general heartbreak.

wc: 1k

notes etc.: this is actually my original style of writing in my native language before i began writing in 2nd(?) + 3rd person pov on ao3 and tumblr this year. it’s different from what I’ve written so far, but I hope you guys enjoy it. the style translation was hard, holy shirt. song → shake it out (florence + the machine).

ꕥ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist

i like to keep my issues drawn ꕥ it’s always darkest before the dawn

I was debating if I should start this with “hey, Hiromi”, “hi, Higuruma”, “dear” something, and I still haven’t arrived at an answer. The first sounds too casual for what we have become — and what are we now if not strangers? The second, however, is just too impersonal, and I don’t need such a stinging reminder of how much I’m not entitled to your first name anymore. At last, “dear” to start a letter is just tacky.

Alas, I digress.

I don’t quite know what possessed me to pick up a pen and a piece of paper (analogical, just like you’ve noted me to be) to blurt out the swirling hurts in my mind, but I guess I still had a lot to say, even if you weren’t here long enough to hear it.

Here goes nothing.

You might be wondering how I’m doing (at least I hope so), so I thought I’d let you know.

Tonight, more specifically, I’ve been for an insurmountable stretch of time — were it hours? Minutes? Days? Out of my priorities, tracking time has not been one of them — staring at the empty vacuum making its presence known by my side. It seems to mock my stare, that longs, against all odds, for a miracle — for you to simply materialize right there, out of thin air.

Seriously, you should see the mess you’ve made when you left.

You left an emptiness of shoes, black suits, wet towels on the bed, cup marks on the furniture, scratches of morning beard, warm legs under the covers — an emptiness of body that has been giving me nightmares. You came in, flipped everything upside down, blew up my walls and made so that every edge, vertex, color and smell of this heart and bones surrounding our leftover life would incessantly scream for you.

It’s like my misery extended beyond myself and resoundingly expanded against the walls of this house.

But… even though I wish you were here with every tiny part of myself, I couldn’t ask for you to stay. I know it wouldn’t be fair. You’d never ask me to betray myself, and the least I could do was to love you in the same earnest way. 

You wouldn’t be the man I loved if you didn’t go. I wouldn’t be the person you loved if I asked you not to (I apologize for the past tense, it’s one of those truthless comforts I’ve decided to give myself for the time being).

You still linger here, though. I still keep your gaze close to my chest, your face pressed against my skin, your warm voice caressing the edge of my ear and your hair stroking through my fingers, even if it’s just my soul pretending for a minute.

A long minute.

You know, it has been hell without you here. The couch cushions wrap around me like your arms, the bed always bounces by the time you used to get up, and the kitchen smells like your favorite take-out meals (because God knows we’d set fire to this building if we so much as dared turning that stove top on). The window reflects two back at me when only one is looking at it, and my hiking boots are dearly missing those black oxford shoes. My coat hanging on the edge of the closet is also dearly missing your crumpled black ties sprinkled around the room (of course you took weeks to properly wash and organize them — when you ever did).

Oh, and the bed.

The bed is just not the same without that stupid, ridiculous blotch of water your towel would always leave on it.

A huge chunk of our house is missing.

I know I can’t let my selfishness kidnap you from what you need to do — and I do know you need it. But damn, sometimes it’s hard to fight the urge of hopping on the first train your way, grabbing you by your wrist and asking you to become once again part of my wallpaper, my duvet, my pillows. Just promise me you’ll make all of this pain worthwhile, even if you ran away with ten thirds of me.

Ever since you left, though, I learned a few tricks to mask your ever so present absence. I can pull the pillows towards the middle of the bed, eat in the living room and read in the kitchen, being sure to slowly put all my pieces back in place. 

It’s harder to notice an empty chair across the table when you willingly choose to sit on the ground.

However, I didn’t want to do that. Not today. Call it insanity, clarity, or just meet me in my madness like you always so kindly did.

Today, I wanted to let you invade me, come into my house with my full permission and go on turning everything upside down once more. That way, I can almost feel you there. To me, at least for now, that’s good enough (or as good as I know it’s gonna get).

Your muted way of sharing our space could be so, so silent. That quietude brought me the deepest of peaces.

Unfortunately, I never anticipated the silence from your absence would be so loud, and not peaceful at all. It has been hammering at my breathless heart for days. 

I miss you.

I love you, too.

***

With a sigh, you put the pen down and stared at the paper sheet for a minute, your own calligraphy so foreign with a pain you hadn’t let out properly ever since Hiromi… actually, Higuruma stepped out that morning.

Considering your options, you resigned, and pulled the letter in a crinkled messy ball, tossing it in the garbage can.

No need to talk to a voluntary absentee. No need to bother him, either.

You got yourself back up and picked up two pairs of keys, the blue buttoned shirt and made your way out of the apartment, not failing to hear the rumbling echo the door made when it slammed closed.

An echo that only happens in truly empty places.

[poppy-metal]

Idk how I haven’t thought of this earlier for patrick angst considering it literally happened in the movie but what if you come across patrick when you’re fucking around on tinder one day and he needs to stay the night in your city. He looks a little scruffy and too cocky for his own good but he’s hot as fuck so you swipe right and before you know it you’ve experienced the most devastating, life-altering one night stand in history. It’s so good that patrick starts chaotically coming in and out of your life whenever he’s around even though he never sticks around somewhere longer than he has to and you keep letting him back into your life even though every time he leaves it breaks you a little because he acts like he loves you and he makes you feel so good in bed when he’s around. It’s the situationship to end all situationships

AUR this hurts hes like a friend that comes in and out of your life that you inevitably sleep with everytime he's back in town - and you always let him stay at your house, usually - he'll stay a few weeks and it'll be fun and you think maybe this'll be the time he realizes he loves you enough to stay - but he always goes. and you pretend it doesn't hurt, keep in contact through texts and emails and try to live your life like you're not just waiting for the next time patrick zweig will come back into it.

your codependency is toxic and it messes with your other relationships too. you'll be in a new relationship and he wont understand why you have to go meet this patrick guy, why you're spending money to get him a hotel room - you just tell him patrick is an old friend. not the love of your life, not the man you can't let go of or turn away from.

its worse when patrick doesn't make it easy. its like he knows how much he means to you, and he probably does. no ones let him use them this much, and you'd think that would harden him towards you, make him lose respect but the more you stick around its like the more important you come. he genuinely looks forward to seeing you, and when you tell him over coffee you have a boyfriend his face makes a "ugh," expression.

"what's that look for?" you ask after showing him a picture of the new guy.

"he looks like a fucking boy scout. he's gonna start selling me cookies and showing me how to tie a knot in 17 different ways."

"girl scouts are the ones with the cookies." you correct. "and he's nice."

"mm, because you love nice guys."

he has a knowing look and you purse your lips - memory flashing to all the times patrick treated you very unkindly, in bed.

"listen." you tell him. "I've set you up with a hotel - but we cant - i mean. this isn't like the other times..." you can't say it in so many words but he gets it. you're in a relationship now. you can't sleep together like you usually do. "but we can still hang out."

patrick sets his mug down. cups it with his two hands and just looks at you for a few seconds. he rubs his lips together, and you worry you've displeased him. but a slow smile spreads across his lips, "okay." he says simply, and picks his coffee back up. "we'll hang out."

he says it just like that. like its so easy. like everytime you've been around eachother physically it hasn't ended with your legs wrapped around his taut waist, clutching at him as he moves in you.

you try to swallow back your disappointment that he doesn't even seem bothered - "good."

you smile at eachother and sip your coffee and pretend like you wont cheat on your boyfriend with him in little under a week from now when you're walking patrick back to his hotel room after a night out, and he looks so good with his dark windswept hair and green eyes, when he leans against his open doorframe you try not to feel like a traitor the way you flush. you pretend you wont feebly try to murmur a goodbye, barely a fight put up at all when his hand reaches out to stop you, turning you back to him.

pretend you wont look at him like he's everything when he looks at your lips and brushes his thumb over the plump skin there, pretend your breath wont tremble when he asks - "did you dress like this tonight for him, or for me?"

pretend you wont shake as you look down and dont respond, knowing the answer should be your boyfriend, your boyfriend, who will be sitting at home nursing a scotch and waiting impatiently for you to return. you pretend you wont gasp when patrick winds a fist in your hair and drags you against him, your hands settling on his chest as you blink up at him - "let me fuck you." pretend you wont sigh and melt as he skims his lips over your cheek, your ear, your throat, laves his tongue over your skin, squeezes as your hip with his free hand. "please, baby. i need this. i need you -"

pretend that wont be all it takes to have you stumbling back with him into the hotel room, letting him yank your dress up and off your body - letting him put his mouth on places your boyfriend has never touched - letting him push you back onto the bed - letting his body cover yours.

you pretend you'll feel guilt when your phone rings on the nightstand and you look over to see your boyfriends name flashing on the screen. pretend you'll feel horrible and not gasp into patricks mouth when he tugs your attention back to him, "dont answer it." licking across your teeth as he breeches you with his cock - "tell me you missed me - tell me you needed this -"

pretend you wont wrap your legs around him and cry out against him as he moves inside you in rough punishing glides, the words pulled from your throat, "i need this, i need it so much, fuck - i miss you so fucking much when you're gone -"

"fuck, baby." and patrick will crush your body with his own, hips buckling down against yours as he makes love to you more intensely than he ever has before. "god, nothing's better than this pussy - love fucking you -"

for now, patrick asks, "so tell me about this guy. 'he the one?"

you smile, shrug. look away because you dont think anyone will ever compare to patrick zweig, even if you try really hard. "we'll see."

[tyunn1ngz]

soobin nsfw alphabet

cw: as ambigious as i could but could come off as afab!reader in some sections! no gender stated as always<3

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

clingy!!!!! making sure ur alright, that nothing hurts, have u peed yet dont get urself an infection, do u need food or some water, u just want cuddles oh ok he can do that!!!!!!! its endearing despite overwhelming how much he cares :]

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his hands and ur wrists/neck and these go pretty hand in hand bc his obsession with both starts bc of how his hands look wrapped around different parts of u >_> !! becomes especially obsessed with how easily he can wrap his long fingers around ur wrists (although hes entirely too gentle everytime he does it in ur opinion) !

if u have tits he’d also be a very big fan of them!

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

another one who cums a Lot. loves cumming inside u so much dont make him pull out </3 he will of course but u could b filled w his babies cmon :< even if u can’t get pregnant he will be acting like u can and it makes him so nasty

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

RLY adores cumming in u and then clean it all up w his mouth, might feed it to u sometimes too, tongues tangled up w ur mingling tastes :p

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

a little but everytime u would think its his first time, and he knows what he’s doing up until pleasure makes him stupid, and his most feral instincts take over :3c

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

pretty standard w missionary, likes seeing ur face especially when he wraps his fingers around ur throat. if u have boobies hes also a fan of u riding him just so theyre in his face and he can have his mouth on them the whole time. even if u dont hes gonna b sucking and licking at ur chest w reckless abandon tbh he doesnt care . shrugs

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

hes more serious but not too intense, its typically light hearted bc its just him rly caring for u ! <3

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

generally well kept hes a manscaper or whatever but hes not that hairy to begin w. random but i want him to have heart pubes idk ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

very!!!!!! intimate!!!!!!! even when he’s rough this man is fucking u like he loves u (which granted, he does) holding u close while he rearranges ur insides and tells u ur the prettiest person hes ever seen .. sighs dreamily

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

if he cant be w u hes absolutely jerking off all the time and he loves it just as much as sex itself tbh. huge perv he cant help that his mind is always in dirty places and making his cock hard. who doesnt love jerking off sometimes ! hes real for that idgaf !

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

breeding or pretty much anything to do with cumplay at all. overstimulation and edging probably big ones for him too!!! both giving and receiving ;3c

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

besides ur bedroom, the couch bc it means u can ride him, and the shower; despite how inconvenient and slippery it might get sometimes ＿|￣|○

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally anything and everything u do will get him going. smth spills from ur mouth when u take a drink, hes hard. he gets even a tiny glimpse of under ur shirt, hes hard. he even remotely thinks abt kissing u a little deeper than whats usually chaste and hes hard. u name it, he’ll find some way to divert it in his mind to some perverse memory or fantasy

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

just nothing taboo, otherwise i don’t actually know what i’d say his turns off are … :S nothing to draw blood either

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

not any particular preference— he loves using his tongue on u as much as he loves having his cock in ur mouth, so u ask him and he’ll probably just end up shrugging and tell u that he’d love both at the same time if u would ever 69 w him<3 although he does like seeing u struggle to take his big cock w tears in ur eyes, so maybe sometimes he leans a little one way than the other ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ ！

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

slow to start with so u can get used to the stretch of taking him, hes so big after all :((( soothing u with a shaky ‘is it too much, baby?’ before he fucks the absolute lights out of u when u give him the go ahead x_x

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a quickie bc he loves getting off like i have said a few times now ! obviously loves it more when he has time to savour and rly enjoy himself w u but he loves it all the same that he gets to giggle w u while u breathlessly do smth so dirty ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes and yes! risky to him sometimes is hotter and therefore best! ready to get caught by any of his members at anytime im afraid … poor guys … kinda …

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

lasts a long time but its bc he tries and wants u to cum first, otherwise he’d blow his load so fast. edges himself if he really thinks hes abt to give in to his high. will go for as many rounds as u want and can handle bc again, always managing to make himself hard around u so !

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

BIG fan of his fleshlight !!!! probably doesn’t own anything much else in terms of sex toys outside of that but thats all he probably needs anyway !!! jerking himself off w it when ur away, or fucking into it while u watch and say such dirty things to each other hnnnffff :(((((( ‘wish this was you, sweetheart. don’t you?’

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

a crazy amount, but he makes it worth it bc u always get what u want in the end anyway, why not let him have a little fun w it? ur just so pretty when u beg a little <3

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

louddd whimpers and the prettiest moans, and he practically hiccups when he gasps, he sounds sooooo pretty</3 tries his hardest to keep his volume down but u moan and it’s practically like a response the way he can’t help it :<

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

wants (needs) to be pegged/topped at least once in his lifetime but has no idea how to ask for it which is crazy bc of how nasty he already is in bed. if u wanna bottom just say that, king! u have the ass for throwing it back!

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

ive seen the dick print tweets he is HUNG. end of talk thank u

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

do i need to comment on this one or have we gotten the message yet … say hi hi hi hi 안녕하고 말할 만큼

take me high high high high 나를 좀 더 데려가 줘

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

not so much tired as he is just satiated? ,,,so he’ll be pretty dozy but loves to chat w u after the fact. or at least he likes listening to you talk yk? he’ll give u hums of acknowledgment while u run ur hands thru his hair and pretty soon u’ll have him snoring away against ur chest lol<3

[lilhealthybean]

Photograph

“Wait for me to come home”

Tags: bakugo and bnha :))

Notes: nothing important, just hi, more angst. this time not from haikyuu nor jjk. hope u enjoy it!

The TV was the sole source of light and sound in the living room. The bedroom, known for its brightness and tidiness, was now in chaos with a young blonde man sitting on the floor. The door opened, and two figures entered the house. Bakugo looked nonchalantly to see that they were Midoriya and Todoroki. He sighed.

"What do you want now?" Bakugo asked aggressively.

"It smells like too much alcohol," whispered Todoroki, disregarding the previous comment and simply gazing at the deteriorated bedroom.

"Kacchan… It's been three months already; you shouldn't be like this," Midoriya commented, concerned about his childhood friend's behavior.

"Y/n left me."

Bakugo stood up and stumbled a bit as he approached the intruders. Todoroki and Midoriya exchanged glances, and Midoriya decided to take Bakugo to his bedroom while Todoroki began cleaning up the mess.

"Don't touch me, you bastard! Leave me alone! Why are you always so annoying?" Bakugo lashed out at his friend. In response, Midoriya ignored him and led him to the bathroom in his bedroom.

"Take a bath," said Midoriya as he closed the bathroom door, leaving the blonde locked inside.

After some futile attempts to escape, Bakugo gave up. Five minutes later, he had taken the shower he needed. With the door no longer blocked by Midoriya, Bakugo emerged from the bathroom with just a towel around his waist. He turned on the lights and went to the wardrobe to get new clothes.

On the shelf of the wardrobe, he gazed at the pictures that lay there, his eyes fixed on one photograph.

It was you.

He began to feel the same pain as in the months before, he picked up the frame. Bakugo smiled bitterly and smashed the frame against the wall, causing it to break and the glass to shatter into small pieces. Midoriya and Todoroki appeared seconds after hearing the sound, surprised by the disaster Bakugo had just caused.

"Kacchan, maybe if you forgive y/n…"

"Y/n hurt me, stop mentioning their name."

Silence and pity were the only things Bakugo felt at that moment. When did he hit rock bottom? How did he end up in this mess?

"Kacchan, you should get dressed," Midoriya whispered as he approached his childhood friend

The blonde, still resigned to Todoroki and Midoriya being in his room, huffed, left the photograph in the shelf, and took some clothes from the wardrobe. Afterwards, he headed to the bathroom to change.

After changing, the three of them gathered in the living room. The room was now illuminated by sunlight, as the thick curtains had been drawn.

"We came here because we wanted to give you something," Midoriya added with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Bakugo frowned while Todoroki handed him a small box. He opened it to find inside a pendant with a delicate chain and a heart-shaped that had been slightly crushed.

He recognized the necklace immediately.

Bakugo knew it was a stainless steel pendant, inexpensive, with a photo inside the distorted heart. He knew exactly which photo it held. Taking the pendant from the box, he carefully opened the deformed heart to reveal the photo he once despised but now found solace in.

The photo was creased, but could still make out two figures in the small frame - himself and you on their first date. The memory flooded back to Bakugo, clear as water.

The first date was horrible, everything he prepared went terribly wrong. Only thing he had left was to pluck up the courage and confessed his true feelings before the date ended. However, Bakugo thought it was lame to confess to you with nothing more, so he excused himself for a moment and went to the first store to buy the cheapest jewelry to you. That jewelry was the necklace which was laying on his hand.

Lukcily for him, his feelings were reciprocated. Unluckily for him, you sneakily took a photo of him and you in that moment. Despite your unflattering appearance, you had insisted on using that photo for the pendant, claiming that an authentic but imperfect image was more valuable.

"Where did you get this?" Bakugo murmured.

"They called me to help to clean up the mess the villains made. While I was looking for some alive victims that could have gotten stuck under rocks or forniture, I found y/n... still alive" Todoroki started talking, he knew well Bakugo didn't need rodeos, he needed the whole story directly.

"And you didn't help?" the blond guy was surprised of the new information he just received.

Could he have then talked to you one last time? If only he hadn’t obeyed you

"Of course I tried... But..." Bakugo blood started to boiled. Could there really be any excuse why he didn’t save you? Bullshit.

"Leave my house now," Bakugo stated, getting up. Both of his friends froze "Are you deaf? I told you to leave my house."

"Kacchan…"

"Deku, shut up already, leave my house now," Bakugo felt it becoming more and more difficult to breathe, and his eyes began to water. "Fucking leave… please," his voice was cut off in that last sentence.

Defeated, Todoroki and Midoriya left the apartment.

Bakugo closed the curtains, bringing darkness back to the living room. He left the pendant on the table and headed to the refrigerator for a beer.

He threw himself onto the couch, resigned, and glanced at the necklace on the table. After hesitating for about ten seconds, he picked it up with a trembling hand and put it around his neck. Leaving the beer on the table, he walked lightly towards the bedroom to grab his cell phone.

With his mobile in hand, he returned to the living room to turn on the television and catch up on the news or at least find out what had happened in the past three months.

He proceeded to turn on his cellphone to check the voice messages. Taking a deep breath, he gathered the courage he needed and played the only voicemail that mattered.

Bakugo held his breath until your voice started to sound through the speaker.

"Hi Katsuki! How's hero work going? Surely you've wanted to kill some unbearable child?"

You filthy person…

"Today I have a double shift at the hospital, so I'll be a little late. Although… they just told me that they need my help at a hospital near the area they've assigned you so…"

No, please, don't leave…

"Possibly I'll volunteer so we can have lunch at the restaurant you enjoy so much."

Why did you have to go? You should have stayed at the hospital…

"Well… maybe we can't go to lunch together because of the double shift… you should go home, I left some spicy beef for you"

I shouldn't have listened to you, I shouldn't have gone home. I should have stayed with you. Maybe if I had stayed… Maybe…

"That reminds me… Bakugo Katsuki, even though you haven't said it in our seven months together, I'm telling you, because I'm not a cunt like you. I love you Katsuki"

…

Good afternoon, it's 3:00 p.m. in Tokyo. Today marks three months since the attack by a villainous organization that had three spotlights in Tokyo: a cultural center, a tram station, and a hospital. More than five thousand people died in those attacks, and there are still around seven hundred and fifty in hospitals still recovering…

[saturnniidae]

HTTYD 2 is ten years old today, it was my first exposure to the franchise and despite its many glaring flaws i can't help but love it and hold it so close to my heart.

This scene is a great example of why.

I love it so much. It's a heart-wrenchingly beautiful reminder that as good as he is, Hiccup is not some perfect hero. He is still just a person, a flawed human being who has cracked under the pressure of his circumstances and is barely given time to grieve his fathers' death.

(I adore scenes like this — It humanizes characters so much more, and just adds to that layer of perceived realism.)

And you can see the regret on his face as soon as he says it. But in that moment he doesn't do anything about it; he's still processing Stoick's death, and he only snaps out of it when he sees Toothless is under the Bewilderbeast's control again and Valka has to hold him back from attempting to go after him.

What he said and did to Toothless there was a momentary lapse in judgment fueled by grief. And later, as he breaks Toothless out of the Alpha's control, you can see he feels terrible about it. About how, even if it was brief, he pushed away his best friend. And he loves Toothless so much.

The way he talks to him literally breaks me every time I rewatch it.

"It wasn't your fault, you'd never hurt him, you'd never hurt me."

"Please, you... are my best friend, bud. My best friend."

And when Toothless comes back he just looks so elated to see Hiccup.

Though, Something that's even crazier to me is the fact all this takes place over less than a week. Once he gets toothless back and Drago is defeated, he is immediately made chief. And with the state berk is in, he is given presumably no time to properly mourn Stoick, or to fully adjust to the presence of his mother.

(though I feel his and Valka's relationship will never be what it could've been. He knows she chose not to come back, and that is a blow to their newly formed and fragile bond that, as much as they love each other, is not something she can ever fully make up for.)

But at least through everything, since the beginning, the one real constant he's had has been Toothless.

They're friendship was built off a mutual feeling of out-of-placeness, then unconditional trust and unwavering loyalty.

they love each other so much it makes me wanna throw up

[malwaredykes]

concept: alternative version of the quarry junction deathclaw situation. you get tasked with getting rid of the deathclaws, or maybe you just pass through there successfully and manage to take a peek at the flock, and you discover that theyre not just living there, theyre examining the machinery and, it looks like, trying to figure it out. every once in a while one of them will get something to run for a couple of moments and they all get very agitated about it. well, not much to be done anyhow, theyre still hostile and dangerous as hell, so you can either proceed to wipe them out, or you can continue on your merry way. much much later, maybe in a side quest thats easy to miss, a scientist confides in you that theyve been developing a device (pheromones-based? something else?) that makes deathclaws see you as basically another deathclaw. just a small shitty one i guess. the problem is that 1. theres not a lot of potential uses for that besides getting a closer look at deathclaw behavior in the wild, which not many people consider a worthy subject of study 2. theres a chance of the device not working 3. theres also a chance that any given deathclaw would still elect to beat the shit out of another deathclaw it doesnt know. so theres not a lot of volunteers to test it out. but hey. youre the main character, youre not scared. and you know Just the place to observe some very interesting behaviors. so you go to quarry junction disguised as a deathclaw and the flock doesnt seem to mind you at all. they cant communicate with you, but they seemingly arent surprised by it, which lends credence to a theory raised by the questgiver scientist that different flocks of deathclaws have their own languages and dialects. obviously the deathclaws attack you if you steal their eggs, hurt one of their own, etc. but so long as youre chill theyre chill, and you get to observe them up close. you even get to show them how to make some of the mine equipment start up, but its just a fun amusing thing to them, its not like they have any use of it. you can bring them some stuff theyve never seen before, like maybe that basketball from the lucky 38, and observe how they play with it. you play music for them and see how they react. crazy stuff like that. you write everything down, and bring the notes to the scientist, and... well i guess time will show whats done about all this new information. if anyone even believes it. if anyone wishes to conduct more research. if it is used, then who uses it, and for what purpose. also in the end well the quarry is still full of deathclaws so that sucks for the workers and for people who wanna go from goodsprings straight to new vegas LMAO

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 10

Camilla’s comment that one of the people Nona might be (either Gid or Harrow, presumably?) would feel responsibility towards Hot Sauce and Honesty, and the other only might … i’m interested in which Camilla thinks that about, i’m assuming the first is Gideon given the way her relationship with Jeannemary and Isaac developed

also, it has to be hard for Nona, knowing that Camilla & Palamedes & Pyrrha all do seem to have pre-existing expectations for her, thinking she’s either Harrow or Gideon, when Nona seems to have no idea who those people are

and some more information about the mysterious barracks situation, it’s a siege apparently

also Nona doesn’t like eating food, but she has been eating sand, which is curious. once again that can’t be good for poor Harrow’s digestive system. 

Palamedes response to Pyrrha asking him to alter her body is strange: ‘No thanks, I had the joy of working on a … on a body like yours, the once’ when was that exactly. i guess he’s referring to a Lyctor here, potentially healing Nona at some point 

where did Pyrrha get the chance to help out with a birth? unless she’s referring in the most opaque terms to Gideon’s birth, or its just one of those incidents that comes from being 10,000 years old i suppose. 

also wow Pyrrha is … stone cold about leaving people to get killed in those cages, but also there’s not anything meaningful they can do about it without getting Camilla killed, really 

also Camilla has a half-sister. huh. hopefully she’s not dead, but with these books track record i’m not optimistic

‘I’m not moved by sentiment’ says Pyrrha Dve, seemingly very much being moved by sentiment in her wanting to not get Camilla hurt 

oh shit, I had totally forgotten that RB’s can cause fear - no wonder everything’s in such a state, all of the existing political and warfare tensions are exacerbated by the RB, which then causes more violence and fear, which is exacerbated by the RB, and on and on i suppose. and Nona can hear the RB sing, that’s very interesting. it definitely makes me think that there’s a connection between Nona and Alecto then, since she could clearly sense the RB coming in HtN  

[angelmichelangelo]

ive had 2012 brainrot recently and i think abt raph and mikey’s dynamic so much i’m gonna yell abt them in ur ask box. i feel like a lot of fans dont understand that they are the Siblings of all time; its incredibly accurate to be like “fuck you fuck you fuck you die” and then also threaten to disembowel anyone who messes with ur sibling. i also specifically love the one scene where raph tells mikey not to apologize to bradford and mikey goes UH…SORRY I DIDNT DROP YOU HARDER!! and raph is so proud of him hes like :) good job buddy. anyways sunset duo for life i love them

oh you GET me dude. you get me

their bond, in this iteration is so important to me. i think that in 2k12 all the brothers have a good, solid relationship with one another - dynamic that even when they’re not getting along, it proves that they do very much love each other but the mikey and raph dynamic is something that i very much cherish.

mikey knows how to push all of raph’s buttons SO easily. he’s always there to rile him up and it’s all so very much on purpose. mikey is such a Little Brother and raph knows this, and even when he does allow himself to be annoyed at his antics or his teasing, it’s always in good nature.

and raph has so much love for his little brother!!whenever mikey is hurt, down, injured or whatever in the fight, it’s almost ALWAYS raph calling his name or rushing towards him. i think about that a lot. it makes me.. unwell lol :((

i imagine that when they were young, they were THOSE kids that if they went quiet, splinter’s day was about to be ruined lmao they were probably such a pair of rascals and that just cements that they are each others best friends. (now i wanna write turtle tot fic about these two just terrorising their poor father and more quieter siblings lol)

i think i already mentioned this before (and wrote a fic on it lol) but mikey for sure has a temper to match raph’s. they’re so very alike: very emotional driven, feels everything tenfold. we already saw in the space ep that mikey’s anger is a HUGE part of his personality but it’s something he’s perhaps able to keep under wraps than raph is. and that seems to me, why he’s so close with raph, always teasing him, making him cut loose because he knows he needs to let off steam because mikey knows how it feels !! to have all of it bottled up all the time !!! they’re so alike it’s :((( wahh !!!!!

anytime someone wants to argue the whole “raph was abusive” or “mikey never respected his brothers” spiel i literally lose years off my life. siblings will always fight and say things to one another than they shouldn’t. siblings will know how to make you mad and angry and siblings will always be that way, because you know that at the end of the day, that’s your best friend and of course you’re gonna make up at the end of it.

and that’s what mikey and raph have. they have each other and they know that they always will have each other and that’s just. very neat :)

[diabolik-art-blog]

I owe everyone a big apologies. For disappearing suddenly and leaving my novel. I don't know if my followers are still active or not. I just sometimes checked my friends. Now it's time for my confession. I used exams as an excuse to justify my long absence from this fandom. But the issue was much bigger. The truth was that I was mentally unstable. The reason was the bad behavior I received from someone in this fandom. I always thought that when adults are in a fandom, their goal is to have fun, not to threaten each other. Maybe you consider my behavior childish or tell me that I should not make a big deal about such a small issue. But please understand that not all people can be as strong as you. Maybe some people are sensitive, especially when they receive a threat from someone because their favorite ship is different. I don't like to mention anyone's name because I don't want this drama to be big, but this person has hurt my friends before too. There is absolutely no way to justify this person's bad behavior. This person imposes their opinions on others and even threatens others. Now you can understand why I was mentally unstable.

In any case, I thought a lot. My decision was to leave the fandom without telling anyone. I even decided to stop my activity slowly so that no one would notice my absence. I even briefly went back to an old blog of mine that was for the Miraculous fandom, but now I realized something. DL is not the first fandom that I worked in, so at first I thought that I did not belong to it, but when I was away from DL, I realized that DL fandom was like home for me. I've been in a lot of fandoms before, but none have brought me as much joy as DL. Maybe the reason is Yui. Yui gives me the feeling of life. So far no MC has given me.

That's why I realized that even if I try to stay away from DL, Yui will still bring me back. She takes me back home. DL has always been like home to me. I decided to come back. I want to continue my novel again. But the previous events still remain in my mind and scare me a little. That's why I want to turn off the anon box for now. I hope you understand that I mentally need to do this work.

And I want to thank my friend Irsa @its-irsaa-fyp . I have already discussed this problem with her. She was the only one who knew, but I hid everything from her after that because I didn't want her to be upset more than that. I wish this fandom was full of people like her. Sweet and kind hearted. Thank you for being my friend. I really love you sweetie <3.

I'm back both mentally and physically. I love Yui. I can't leave her. I love my friends. I can leave them. I love my home. DL is always my home and I can't leave it.

I don't know how many people are waiting for my novel and if anybody cares. Soon I will start continuing it. I love you :3

[twelvelevens]

thoughts on first 3 episodes of the boys season 4 so far (spoilers under cut)

i heard from the reviews by people that already watched the whole thing that the first 3 episodes are boring as usual and then it gets better

personally i don't really see how they would be boring, because there are SO many things happening?? not just action-wise, but lore-wise as well? not one character left behind, everyone gets their screen time and its just so nice

the way they intoduced Sister Sage and Firecracker is so smooth and doesn't feel forced at all, they fit so well, it's like they were supposed to be there the whole time, their motivations clear and very understandable

i really liked how they positioned and developed Ryan this season as well, can't really say i cared about him before outside of Becca/Butcher plotline, but now i very much do care about him as a separate character, he's his own guy now

this season (for now) is the pure essence of what i and, i think, most people love about the boys, its like screenwriters got it together and made a huge leap after the third season (that imho wasn't that good) SPOILERS:

the fact that Annie bullied Firecracker as a kid made her character SO MUCH MORE DEEP (pun not intended), it fits so well for her past as a star of these weird kid shows, wanting to make her mother proud so bad she went as far as bullying the other final contestant, not even thinking much of it, because children can't really understand just how bad words can hurt (especially malicious rumors like these) when the only thing her mother actually cared about was winning, which makes her character significantly more evil as well

i liked how Sage says everything i wanted to say to Homelander RIGHT IN HIS FACE ohhh how i needed it to happen, i like that she's there

the way they show how Homelander really tries to bond with Ryan in his own way, how he loves him, but still isn't able to let him outshine him (even tho Ryan doesn't even want this at all) how HL physically cannot comprehend why would Ryan be upset by killing a person, the way he took it out on Ryan because he really tries so hard to make his childhood as happy as he can, but his son only needs... love? and Homelander is not capable of it really

and don't get me started on Butcher/Becca plotline, it will never cease to make me cry

tbh when i watched the first episode i thought that Butcher was somehow involved in the fact that Hugh sr. got a stroke and i was so depressed i literally cannot describe it, it felt like the character died while being alive which was so much worse than if he physically died (i talked about it with my friend afterwards and turned out it's most likely not what happened at all, i just like to overthink lol)

but the moment when Ryan and Butcher talk and Butcher throws poisoned cookies in the trash... guys im not gonna lie i cried my eyes out VIOLENTLY, i was crying LOUD and with my VOICE and couldn't stop

i love Butcher more than anything and i really hope he doesn't turn evil, this is all i'm hoping for