#and just told me about it today and asked if i could come cohost

[honeysuckle-s]

ok autist sense check here … is it rude to plan an event with a group of ppl then invite someone after the fact bc you need a “co-host”? bc i have a feeling this is a bad thing but im kinda used to it at this point

[dirtydobrik]

co-hosting - d.d.

requested: yes! Omgsh one where you are also a famous YouTubed like David and y’all are low key David cause you don’t want anyone to know just yet but then you find out you and David are going to be hosting the teen choice awards. During the actual show you see how nervous David is getting and you decide to grab his hand for reassurance and then everyone figures out y’all are together 

word count: 1170

masterlist

You squeezed David's hand under the table of the meeting. Both of you had been asked to host the Teen Choice Awards, and even though no one knew you two were dating, it was a weight off your shoulders that you'd be doing it with David. You were a big YouTuber, but you were still an introvert and not the biggest fan of talking in front of crowds whereas David was a natural when it came to talking to a crowd.

"Are you excited?" David asked, as you walked out to his car.

"Mostly nervous," you admitted. "But excited that I get to do it with you."

David's soft small turned into a big grin and he quickly scanned the parking lot before ducking behind a car and pulling you in for a kiss.

 In the weeks leading up to the Teen Choice Awards, you wondered if you should tell everyone that you're together, especially with red carpet interviews. Those were always unpredictable and you both were bound to get questions about your relationship. Neither of you were unfamiliar with lying, or rather hiding the truth, during interviews.

The night before the rehearsal, you couldn't sleep. You were tossing and turning, wondering how this would go.

"Dave, do you think we should tell everyone about us?" you asked, rolling over in bed to face him. "Like before we host the Teen Choice Awards together?"

David sighed. He knew that you hated keeping secrets, especially from your fans, but he had also gone through a public relationship and break up and you hadn't so you didn't know how stressful they were.

"Are you sure you want that? I mean it changes everything."

"We don't have to. It's just, I don't know. I'm tired of secrets and people will ask about our relationship status and what we think about each other and it'll be hard to lie and say we're just friends," you rambled. David leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, cutting you off.

"Let's see how the rehearsal tomorrow goes and then we'll talk, okay?" he negotiated and you nodded.

The rehearsal went smoothly, neither of seeming nervous and the chemistry between you was undeniable, but none of the interviews you gave questioned if you were anything more than just friends. You decided not to tell everyone that you were together, even though David's publicist and your manager had both said it would've been smart for TV ratings. But doing that didn't seem real and authentic, it felt like a career move and you didn't want people to think it was a fake relationship for publicity.

The day of the show, both you and David were nervous. You had given solo interviews and had the chance to talk about David without making it seem like you were dating. The producers had given you separate trailers so you didn't see David all day while you sat in hair and makeup. You met up David backstage before going on stage, and you could tell him was nervous, even though he hadn't been acting nervous all day.

"It's going to be great," you smiled. "I'll be right by your side."

You were trying to calm your nerves about the crowd in front of you as you walked on stage. But after hearing people cheer for you and seeing your friends in the crowd, your nerves went away.

David's, however, did not.

He couldn't figure out what to do with the hand that wasn't holding the microphone, so he kept moving it around. He did a few nervous laughs while talking and you took a few steps closer to him.

Instinctively, you reached your hand out to grab his, giving it a few squeezes. "You got this, babe. I'm right here," you whispered, giving him a soft smile and reassurance that he had no reason to be nervous.

When you let go of David's hand after a minute or so, he immediately seemed calmer.

When David won a TCA, you had to stop yourself from giving him a kiss on stage. It was just second nature and you were beyond proud of him, but you opted for a hug instead.

The rest of the award show went smoothly, and you had such an adrenaline rush when you got off stage from the excitement. You had even forgotten that you had held David's hand to calm him down since that happened in the beginning of the show.

The internet, however, didn't forget. Video clips and pictures of you two were circulating the internet, everyone having different theories about what it meant. You were thankful that the microphone didn't pick up your words, but some fans had slowed down the video to try and decipher what you said to him.

You were pacing back and forth in David's trailer, anxiously trying to think of a way to fix this.

"Babe, calm down. It's okay," David insisted, standing up and putting his hands on your shoulders to stop your pacing.

"No it’s not. I mean, we were going to try and keep our relationship a secret and I ruined it." You felt awful. You had seen a tweet where someone had enhanced the audio and figured out exactly what you said, so there was no way to spin the story. They knew you called him babe on stage. And you didn’t even mean to, it was just an instinct.

"We're going to figure this out, just take a deep breath."

Later that night, after talking to your managers and publicists, you decided to tell the world you were together, not that it would come as much of a surprise now.

David posted the picture of you holding hands on stage on his Instagram with the caption "Thanks for being right my side all the time, babe. And thanks for cohosting the TCAs with me, that was crazy. Let's do it again sometime."

You posted a picture of you hugging David after he won his TCA shortly after he posted with the caption "Thank you to everyone involved in letting me cohost the Teen Choice Awards. It was so surreal. And a huge congratulations to Dave for winning his first TCA. Proud of you today & everyday, bub."

You set your phone down, not interested in reading what people had to say about you two. You cuddled up next to David on his couch, resting your head on his chest, his arm wrapped tightly around you.

"Have I told you how proud I am of you?" you asked, looking up at him.

"Only like a hundred times today," he laughed. "But you can tell me again," he grinned, loving the compliments because he's a narcissist.

"I am beyond proud of you, Dave. You work so hard and you deserve all of your success. And I'm so lucky to be next to you and be able to watch you achieve greatness."

David tightened his arms around you, "I am beyond lucky and proud to have you by my side.” 

[assembledherethevolunteers]

Future Management Chapter 3

A/N: Hi again!  Sorry this took so long.  It’s been a crazy week.  I hope you guys are still enjoying this (and thank you to everyone for the love of my last chapter)! Please let me know what you think of this next part!

 Pairing: Ben Hardy x fem!Reader

Summary: You and Ben Hardy had been together for the better part of a decade.  After hitting a rough patch, the two of you decide to end things. However, one small surprise keeps you two connected more than you thought.

 Warnings: Cursing, angst (I swear it’ll get better), fighting (verbal)

Catch Up: Prologue (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/188795655663/future-management)  Chapter 1 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/188846514968/future-management-chapter-1) Chapter 2 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/188923255568/future-management-chapter-2) 

Taglist: @lovebirdy93 @jonesyaddiction @im-an-adult-ish @taylorroger-s @amy-brooklyn99 @springholland @stassaurus  @hahaboop @tcnystqks @bloatedandlonly @doctorwhatwhenandwhere  If I missed you I’m sorry! Please let me know if you want to be added.  

The next morning, Ben and Eliza came with you to the recording.  

Ben had made breakfast, but barely talked to you outside of something for Eliza.  You were wondering how him seeing Jackson again would go if he was still this mad at you, even though he had no right to be mad.  Mostly because you weren’t actually dating Jackson, but also because, just like you had to remind yourself, the two of you weren’t together anymore.  

“Good morning, Y/N,” Jackson smiled at you in the studio.  

“Hi, Mr. Jack!”  Eliza waved from Ben’s arms behind you.  

“Well, hi there, Miss Eliza. How are you doing today, darlin?”

You grinned at her but noticed that Ben’s jaw had tightened.  

“Good! Mummy said we can go home and play princesses after dis!”  

“Well that should be a whole lotta fun, huh?”  

Eliza giggled and shook her head yes.  You watched as Ben moved his arms so that Eliza was even closer to him.  

“Y/N? Jackson?”  A woman with a headset asked.  

“Yes?” You both replied.

“Can you follow me? We’ll get you in hair and makeup.”

“Alright,” you turned to Ben and Eliza.  “Mommy and Mr. Jack have to go with her, but you and Daddy can…”

“Oh, Jaz?”  The woman said to another.  She stopped and looked at the group.  “Can you take these two to Y/N’s dressing room?”  

You saw this ‘Jaz’ woman look Ben up and down and then smile.  You nearly saw red.  

“I sure can, follow me, you two.”  

You gave Eliza a kiss on her cheek.  “Mommy will see you soon, okay?”  

“Okay! Bye, Mummy! Bye, Mr. Jack!” Eliza waved at both of you and then Jaz led them away.  

“She’s really cute,” Jack told you as you followed the woman.  

“Yeah,” you sighed.

“Ben doesn’t seem to like me much,” Jackson said with a dry chuckle.

“It um…takes him a bit to warm up to people.  He’s really a good guy.  A great father.”  You replied as you walked into the hair and makeup area.  

Jackson just hummed noncommittally and sat down in one of the chairs.  The two of you spoke with the cosmetologists as they fixed your makeup and hair.  

The interview was going well.  You and Jackson talked about the movie and how it was working together.  The two of you had always gotten along easily.  It made it easy to work with and do all these interviews.

You were about to wrap up when one of the hosts brought it up.  It wasn’t really off limits, but it still kind of shook you when somebody brought it up.  

“Now, Y/N, how is it being back in London?  You used to live here, yeah?”  

You fidgeted with your hair for just a second, a nervous gesture, before fixing a smile on your face.

“I did, yeah.  I love being here!  It’s so different from New York, but at the same time it’s still that go go go of a big city.  And it’s that same modern feel and yet you know how much history has happened here as well.  It’s beautiful.”  

“That’s very true,” the female host, Holly nodded.  “You sometimes forget how historic this city is.”  

You could tell she was trying to hint to her cohost not to bring it up again.  Thankfully, he picked up on it.  

“It is, indeed, a beautiful city.  Now, back to the film.”  

You and Jackson finished the interview mentioning a part of the book that you wish could’ve been in the movie.  

“Not to give too much away, but there’s this scene towards the end of the novel, in the last couple chapters I think?, and we just couldn’t make it work.  It was written so well on the page and we tried four or five different ways to get it perfect, but we just couldn’t, so we had to scrap it. Maybe that will be an extra on the Blu-Ray or something.”

“I remember that day,” Jackson laughed.  “Everybody was trying to get it exactly like it was on the page.  Maybe if we had just taken a little more creative license it would’ve worked better, but like Y/N said, it was so beautiful on the page that we wanted to do it justice.”  

“Well now we need to know what it is!”  

You looked at Jackson and then gestured for him to continue.  

“Oh great, make me do it,” Jackson nudged you with his arm.  You laughed and pushed him back, letting your hand linger for maybe just a beat too long.  “Again, we don’t want to give too much away, and it’s not like it’s the climax of the film, but Y/N’s character and mine are in their home, and she has a dream.  I’ll leave it at that.”  

“Oooh I remember that part!” The Holly’s voice rose in excitement.  “I loved reading that!”

“Me too!” You matched her tone.  “And we tried, we really did, it just didn’t work with the story we were working on and everybody agreed to let it go because the same thing could be conveyed with a conversation between our characters,” you shrugged and then looked to the audience.  “If you’re one of those people that doesn’t read the book because a movie is coming out, may I suggest breaking that rule just this once?  That scene itself is worth it.”  

The other three on the set vocally agreed with you.  

“Well we can’t wait to see the film, it sounds amazing and you two are just great.  If your chemistry here carried on set, I think we’re in for something great!”  Holly smiled at both of you and then turned to a camera.  

“’See You Around’ comes out next Friday!  Stay tuned and Meghan May will be showing you how to get rid of those pesky earwigs in your garden.”  

The audience applauded and then the same woman that showed you and Jackson hair and makeup appeared.

“And we’re clear!”  

“Thank you both, so much,” you offered your hand to the hosts.  They both took and shook it in turn.  

You and Jackson came off set and Eliza ran right up to you and hugged your leg.  

“Good job, Mummy!”

You bent down, trying to keep your balance in your heels.  

“Thank you, Lovebug! Did you have fun watching Mommy?”

Eliza nodded and then looked up at Jackson.  “You did good too, Mr. Jack.”  

“Thank you, Miss Eliza.”

“Well, we should probably get to lunch.  Eliza will need her nap soon,” Ben’s voice came from a few yards away, a little too loud.

“Daddy! Can Mr. Jack come over to lunch?”  

Jackson looked over at Ben and you noticed Ben’s eyes harden.  

“I don’t think so, Birdie.”

Eliza pouted and looked at you.  

“Mummy?”  

You ran your hand through her hair.  You opened your mouth to answer, but you were cut off.  

“You know what, Miss Eliza?” Jackson drew Eliza’s attention.  “I’ve actually got plans for lunch, but I’ll be sure to see you one more time before I leave.”  

Eliza was still pouting but nodded.  

“Okay, Mr. Jack.”  

You stood up and gave Jack a hug and kissed his cheek.  

“I’ll see you at the premiere tomorrow night?”

“Sure will,” Jackson fixed you with a huge smile.  He smiled down at Eliza.  “I’ll see you soon, Miss Eliza.”  

“Bye, Mr. Jack!” Eliza hugged his legs before moving back to you.  

You bent down and picked her up.  She played with your necklace, already over the crushing disappointment.  

“I’ll see you later,” Jackson said again.  He looked to Ben.  “Nice to see you again, Ben.”  

Ben just waved before Jackson left.  

You shot a glare at Ben before you started making your way out as well.  You and Ben were silent, listening to Eliza talk about one of the nice people that had given her a lollipop (“But Daddy said I can’t have it until lunch”).  

You buckled Eliza into her car seat and then got into the car, still ignoring Ben.  Thank God Eliza kept talking because the tension in the front of the car was palpable.

Lunch wasn’t much better. You made Eliza a turkey sandwich, along with fruit snacks and carrot sticks. You and Ben avoided each other as much as possible.  Once Eliza was done eating, Ben put her down for her nap.  

You thought about pouring yourself some wine but decided alcohol wouldn’t help anything.  Ben walked back down the stairs and then set his hands on the counter.  You watched him for a moment.  

“I don’t like him.”  

You rolled your eyes and folded your arms across your chest.  

“Why?  What has he done to you?”  

Ben looked at you for a long moment.  “Are you sleeping with him?”  

“Ben!” You hissed, trying not to raise your voice for fear of waking Eliza.  

“That’s not an answer.”

“Why does it matter? In case you haven’t noticed, we’re not married anymore.”  

Ben opened his mouth a couple times before inhaling sharply through his nose.  

“I know, I just would like to know who is around MY daughter.”

You stared at Ben, dumbfounded.

“First of all, she’s OUR daughter.  Second of all, you’re kidding, right?”

“Look, if she gets attached to ‘Mr. Jack’ and he ends up being a bad guy…”  

“Ben, I’m not dating Jack!” You were getting angry.  Did he honestly think that you would do ANYTHING to hurt Eliza?   That you would let people that would hurt her even be able to LOOK at her?

That made Ben take a moment back and then he cleared his throat.  

“I…I mean, he’s still around her.”

“Yeah! And so are Gwil and Joe and Luc…”

“They’re different!”

“Why?! Because YOU know them?! Last I checked, they were also your coworkers before they were friends and…”

“So you’re comparing my best friends to some guy that you just flirt with and…”

“WE WERE IN A MOVIE TOGETHER!”  You hated yourself for yelling, but you couldn’t stop it.  “YOU KNOW HOW THOSE INTERVIEWS GO! THEY WANT TO SEE YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR COSTARS!” You were fuming.  He was mad because you got along with your coworker? How dare he use Eliza as an excuse for not liking somebody!  

“WELL YOU PLAYED IT REALLY FUCKING WELL!  HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH HIM OR NOT?!”

“MAYBE TAKE MY GODDAMN WORD FOR IT?! OR NOT EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT!”

“HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO WORRY ABOUT IT!?”

“BECAUSE IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, THAT’S HOW!  WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE IF HE AND I ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER?!”

“BECAUSE I…!”

“Mummy? Daddy?”  You and Ben turned toward Eliza.  She was holding her stuffed ladybug close to her face as she stood at the doorway to the kitchen.  She looked about ready to start sobbing.  

“Oh Birdie, what are you doing awake?” Ben’s voice softened, even though his chest still heaved.  He walked over and picked up Eliza.  You were quickly behind her, rubbing her back.

“I h…heard you and Mummy yelling,” Eliza’s voice shook, full of tears.  

“Oh Lovebug, Mommy and Daddy are sorry,” you cooed, continuing to rub circles on her back. “We um…you know how Mommy and Daddy play pretend?”  You asked her.  That was how you explained what you and Ben did.  It was the easiest explanation for a three-year-old.  

Eliza nodded, tears still threatening to fall.  

“Well, that’s all we were doing.  Playing pretend.”  

“You both said bad words,” Eliza whispered, almost as if she spoke louder she would break whatever tentative peace you and Ben had reached.    

Ben pressed a kiss to her forehead.  

“We did, and we’re sorry, love,” Ben rocked with a Eliza a few moments.  Once she seemed to be calmed down, he asked “Do you want to go upstairs and get some more sleep?”  

Eliza shook her head, burying her face in the crook of Ben’s neck.  

“How about we watch ‘The Princess and the Frog’ and cuddle on the couch?”  You offered.  The Princess and the Frog was her favorite movie and you knew it could soothe her.  

She peeked over at you.

“Can Daddy cuddle too?”

You looked at Ben and then back to Eliza.  Why did she have to look so much like him?  You tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

“Of course, sweetie. Why don’t you and Daddy get comfy and…”

“No, here,” Ben slid Eliza into your arms.  She buried herself deeper in your arms.  You and Ben exchanged a look.  “You and Mummy can get comfy and I’ll get everything ready.”  Ben kissed Eliza’s nose and led you to the living room.  You and Eliza started making a nest of blankets and pillows as Ben got the TV and Blu-Ray player ready.  

“Mummy?”  Eliza asked as you got her wrapped in a blanket.  

“Yes, honey?”  

Eliza was suddenly shy, which was something she never was.  You rubbed her back again.  “What’s the matter, Liza?”

She shook her head as Ben came over with the remote.  

“Ready, lovies?”  

You ignored the term of endearment as you burrowed yourself deeper into the hoard of blankets and wrapped your arms around Eliza.  Ben pressed play and then placed one arm on top of yours and pulling Eliza (and you) closer to his chest.  

If the two of you had still been married, this could’ve been how you spent the last three years. Cuddling on the couch, Eliza between you, watching Disney movies while the dreary English afternoon went by.  Maybe after she was asleep, Ben would take her upstairs and then when he came back downstairs, the two of you would snuggle, just the two of you, maybe finish the movie if it wasn’t over yet.  

Eliza was singing along to the songs, and you noticed Ben was keeping the beat with his thumb near your elbow.  You hated how…normal this all seemed.  

You hated that you ached for this.  

Eliza giggled at the fireflies in the movie started up their song.  The last thing you remembered was Ray and all his family singing “Gonna Take You There” and the feeling of Ben gently rubbing your arm.  

Ben watched as your eyes fluttered closed.  He’d missed that sight.  He’s missed almost everything about you.  Maybe that’s why it had been easier to pick a fight with you about Jackson.  If he thought about the bad things, he wouldn’t beg you take him back.  He felt awful for taking out his frustration on somebody who honestly seemed like a good guy and had been nothing but nice to Eliza (and you, as much as it annoyed him).

And poor Eliza.  No child should have to hear their parents argue like that, whether they were together or not.  Ben glanced at her.  She was trying so hard to stay awake, but the song was a soft love song and it was lulling her to sleep.  

“Get some sleep, Birdie,” Ben placed a kiss in her hair.  

“No, Daddy,” Eliza muttered, but her eyes were already closed.  

You’d always said that Eliza looked more like him, and maybe she did, but she acted just like you. She was sweet, and smart, and warm. She had her stubborn side too, even at three.  It pained him when he saw her act like you, or when she used American terms for something because it just reminded him that much more of you.  And when she talked about you, the way her face lit up when she saw you, it just made him miss you that much more.  

Ben watched the rest of the movie, even though he basically knew it by heart.  

“Because Tiana, she is my Evangeline.”  

Ben looked over at you and sighed.  

[l-sincline]

Cybernetics- Cyberpunk!Sonic AU- Chapter 8

Amy Rose has been working tirelessly at her broken down booth for as long as she can imagine. Ever since Tails left their work to join forces with the revered hero of Mobius, ‘The Blue Blur’, she’s grown lonely and desperate to make her life exciting. A strange customer comes in one day asking her to fix his cyborg arm, what she didn’t know was that he would be the catalyst for a brand new life.

AO3 Tags:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Amy Rose/Shadow the Hedgehog, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Amy Rose (Sonic the Hedgehog), Shadow the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles “Tails” Prower, Dr. Eggman | Dr. Robotnik, Rouge the Bat, Whisper the Wolf, Cream the Rabbit, Knuckles the Echidna, Badnik (Sonic the Hedgehog), E-123 Omega, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Angst, Slow Burn, Partners in Crime

AO3 Link

Previous/Next

Bugs buzzed monotonously by her ear, body truly screaming at her to stop moving and lay down now.

“We’re almost there.” He’d promised quite a few times.

She’d at one point exasperatedly asked how he made this trek. He pointed out that he had the chip, and that also when he chose not to use the chip, he had the shoes. Amy supposed she’d have to figure something out. But until then, she was stuck feeling like death while the sun slowly left them less and less light. Her feet felt about ready to fall off, and at this point she wouldn’t be opposed to it, then she would have to lay down and take a break until her feet got replaced by cyborg parts. Unfortunately, unless there was a saw around here, she got the feeling that though they hurt, her feet were firmly attached to the rest of her for many years to come. She stopped when she bumped her head on Shadow’s shoulder blade on accident, not realizing that he had stopped. She looked up and saw him glancing back at her, silently pointing to the building ahead of them. The outside looked just as old as the rest of the buildings, vines and moss grew up the side, but the difference would be that this building had no cracks, no holes, and even had glass in the windows. The thick vines had been pushed away to grow around the doorway, which held a black, steel door.

“This is it?” She whispered. Shadow nodded and beckoned her to follow once more, stepping up to the door and opening up the scanner attached to it, allowing it to scan his face. Once it had, she heard the soft clicking of the mechanism allowing it to unlock, and soon she was following him inside.

The inside was clean, fixed up just like he’d said. The floor was tiled and a round, maroon carpet sat in the middle of it. To the right was a couch with two love seats and a coffee table, as well as a large ProjScreen attached to the wall, the furniture sat on top of a rectangle rug that was the same color as the round one. To the left there was kitchen, complete with an island and any appliances one would need to cook as well as a fridge- she had no idea how they got any power out here, but she’d ask about that later. Lights dotted the ceiling to make up for the lack of windows on the first floor, and in the middle of the back wall there was a staircase leading up. Amy looked over to see Shadow had taken off his cloak and hung it on a hook on the wall.

“Shadow! Watch out!” A voice cried from the steps, and Amy found herself being tackled and pinned to the ground. She cried out in pain, she wasn’t sure how much more of a beating her body was to take today, but she hoped it wasn’t much more as clenched her teeth and squinted in pain.

“Rouge! She’s no danger- get off.” He demanded exasperatedly.

‘Rouge’s weight left her and she opened her eyes, taking Shadows hand that he offered and allowing herself to be pulled up. Then, she looked over to see who exactly ‘Rouge’ was.

She was... an Android. White metal, bright blue, glowing eyes. Equipped with fake lashes and makeup. Two wings protruded from her back and her ears gave away that she was modeled to look like a bat mobian. She currently wore a robe- it looked soft, and it was pink, matching slippers she wore on her feet. Aside from all that, she was much curvier than your typical Android would be, at least from what Amy had seen before.

“Rouge, this is Amy. She’s coming on board as our mechanic.” Shadow introduced her. Amy held out a hand.

“It’s nice to meet you...” She spoke softly, and cautiously, not wanting to incite any more anger from the Android woman. Rouge was silent, studying her up and down. Judging her. Amy couldn’t tell what the Android was thinking- it was strange, Androids tended to be easier to read because they weren’t actually mobians.

“I like your pants.” She said suddenly, crouching down to grasp one of the straps. “They’re practical and yet, very stylish.” Rouge observed before standing back up to look at Amy. Her facial expression didn’t give much away, but her body language told Amy that for now, Rouge would leave her be.

Amy let out a breath of relief as Rouge turned to look at Shadow.

“Does that mean Omega can finally be fixed...?” She asked hopefully.

“I do believe so.” He replied.

“Omega?” Amy wondered aloud.

“Don’t worry about it for now, you need to rest up, you’ve been smacked around a bit more than I think you’re used to today.” Shadow nodded to Rouge, and the bat android stepped forward and lifted Amy’s bag from her shoulder.

“I’ll take this to your room and get everything ready for you.” She explained before turning and spreading her wings, flying up the stairs. Shadow chuckled.

“What’s funny?” Amy asked.

“I think she’s excited to have another girl in the house.”

She ‘ooh’ed quietly, following Shadow as he walked over to the kitchen.

“Sit.” He gestured to one of the stools that sat at the island. Amy sat down gingerly and put her hands in her lap, watching him open the fridge and stare at it absentmindedly. She couldn’t imagine it was easy to get food out here, but then she remembered his teleporting trick and supposed that it was quite possible that he... went grocery shopping? That would be a funny sight to see. He shut the fridge door and leaned down to the freezer door, pulling it open and selecting something from it before tossing it on the table. He pulled out a toaster from next to the fridge and plugged it in before getting to work on unwrapping the food while beginning to speak to her once more.

“The room won’t be great, but you can start to get your own stuff to put in there once you... adjust to our living style.” He explained, popping what she now saw were frozen waffles into the toaster. “ProjScreen- on.” He called, louder than he had been talking to her previously, and she shifted slightly to turn and watch the ProjScreen as he continued to shuffle around in the kitchen. What she saw made her stomach turn.

“-from what we can see, this woman and her partner made a complete fool of the Blue Blur.” The female cat gossip show anchor chided.

“While we up here in the neon city aren’t exactly big fans of any criminal, watching these two lay waste to the Blue Blur is exceptionally funny.” The male deer replied, partially to the camera. The woman laughed.

“As part of our ‘down with the Blue Blur’ campaign, I just want to play that absolutely humiliating clip again!” She cried joyfully, clapping her hands together before turning in her chair to watch the screen behind them.

The screen showed a projection from the angle of what seemed to be a surveillance camera. It was a slow-mo shot of her rolling and shoving herself off the Blue Blur, immediately followed by Shadow’s cyborg hand appearing on screen and hitting the Blue Blur square in the back, sending him tumbling forward and scraping on the ground. Thank god the camera panned towards the blue hedgehog instead of her and Shadow, or else there’d be video proof of them just disappearing. But instead it zoomed in on the Blue Blur, who struggled to get up before collapsing. The video cut off just as Tail’s feet came in frame.

“Now that is just too funny!” The cat woman cried again, smile wide on her face.

“I have to agree with you there- but now we have to get to the more interesting topic- who was that woman?” He asked enthusiastically as a grainy, zoomed in projection of her face from when she was falling came up behind them.

“Now, thanks to some intelligence we do know she ran a shop in the outer ring, but the real question is how did she get wrapped up in all this drama? I mean, Mobius’ most famous vigilante scooping her up and trying to take her away from the mystery cyborg man- what do you think happened?” She questioned her cohost.

Amy grimaced, they were making it out to be some sort of romantic triangle from what she could tell, and before she could hear what the deer had to say, Shadow cut in.

“ProjScreen- off.” He called out. “Sorry, I don’t know why Rouge watches that crap. It was probably uncomfortable to see your face like that.” He apologized gruffly as she turned back around, watching him slide a plate across to her.

“It’s fine.” She reassured, “It was honestly kind of interesting to see how they talked about me- us. They... liked that we knocked down the Blue Blur.”

“Of course they did.” He snorted. “Inner ring folk hate him.” Amy shrugged in response, not knowing what more to say on the topic.

“So, what have you made for me, chef?”

“Toaster waffles with peanut butter on them for protein, plus some apple slices for some good sugar and vitamin intake. Just something to get you through the night, there’ll be something better in the morning.”

“Thank you.” She smiled slightly, glad to be digging in to the food. The waffles were a bit stale and the apples were a bit mushy, but it was better than what she usually ate, so she continued to munch on it happily as Shadow walked over to the living room half of the bottom floor. By the time she was finishing up, she heard Rouge land on the tile at the bottom of the stairs.

“Your room is ready.”

Amy looked over with a tired smile, standing and putting the plate by the sink she had spotted earlier before walking over to Rouge.

“Thank you... for all this.” She turned back to Shadow before stepping up the stairs. “I know this is weird... for both of us, but thank you for giving me this chance and keeping me from getting arrested.” He merely grunted in response and Amy assumed that was the best she was going to get and followed Rouge up the stairs.

They went up two floors before stepping out of the stairs and into a hallway, Rouge passed one door on the left before coming to one slightly past it on the right and pushing it open.

“Here you go, call me if you need anything- I’m a floor down.” She explained as Amy stepped in the room, closing the door behind the pink hedgehog. Amy could hear her slippered feet walking away.

Too tired to care about what the room looked like, Amy leaned against the wall and unlaced her boots, kicking them off before walking over to and collapsing in the bed. She let out a deep sigh before almost immediately falling asleep, too exhausted physically and mentally to even consider what her day had been.

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode Two: That Book Is Overdue, President Lincoln!

View in Google Docs

[Podcast intro music]

Mayor Grisham [”sincere” politician voice] Stay vigilant, but most importantly: stay hopeful. And Tim, wherever you may be, just know that your friends, family, and everyone in King Falls is looking forward to your eventual, and safe return.

[KFAM rock intro music]

Sammy Good evening, I’m Sammy Stevens and you’re listening to 660 on the AM dial. Welcome to King Falls AM. I’m here with Ben Arnold-

Ben Again?

Sammy Yes, again, Ben! Uh my producer-slash-cohost, emphasis on cohost. Uh, that voice we just heard from was Mayor Grisham, of course, speaking out about the recent disappearance of Tim Jenson.

Ben If you or anyone you know has any information about Tim’s disappearance, we urge you to reach out to the King Falls Sheriff Department.

Sammy Now, on a lighter note, we’ve got a big show tonight, folks. We’ve got an interview with Emily Potter, who will be telling us all about the grand re-opening of the King Falls Library in just a few short days.

Ben [dully] Plus, a call from Doctor Raúl, later in the hour.

Sammy I can hear the excitement in your voice, Ben. You’ve got your Gunnin’-for-Network-News Underoos on today.

Ben Any network but Channel 13, Sammy! [quieter but with feeling] They can suck it.

Sammy Now, before we bring in the lovely Miss Potter, we’re going to—

Ben [dubious and laughing] Is she lovely?

Sammy Well, I mean, I haven’t met her, but I assume she’s a lovely person. Small-town librarian and all.

Ben Lovely— personality? Gotcha.

Sammy *slight laugh* It counts.

Ben That’s what they say.

Sammy So, okay. Before we bring in Miss Potter—

Ben Couldn’t help but notice you didn’t use any adjectives that time.

Sammy Ben, is there something on your mind?

Ben Not at all. It’s just that, our old librarian, Mrs.Kilpatrick, was not what you’d call a lovelyyy… *pff* anything. Lady got her scholarship in war-torn Nazi Germany, so I’m a bit apprehensive to call anyone running the town bookshack “lovely.” Can I just say? for the record? that Mrs. Kilpatrick used to place the “learn-to-draw” books in the reference section? [getting worked up] If anything, they were self-help books, and if a kid wants to check one out- learn how to draw Droopy the damn Dog- then maybe, they, should let him.

Sammy *chuckle* You’re not wrong, Ben, but maybe—

Ben [still worked up] I haven’t told this to anyone ever, but when I was a kid, [slightly quieter like sharing a secret] I was walkin’ down the aisles, and I saw that old whisper-Nazi put “Mein Kampf” in the children’s section, and she—

Sammy [cuts Ben off] Maybe! we can ask Miss Potter her opinions on the King Falls Hitler youth, uh, as well as opening up the phone lines to you, dear listeners, right after this commercial break.

[jaunty, polka-esque music]

Ernie [New York accent] ‘ey, I’m Ernie. Maybe your car your truck ain’t runnin’ so good. Maybe you thinkin’ you need a new one! I’m ‘ere to tell youse, that ain’t always the case. Maybe all you need is bring your car your truck down to Ernie’s Mufflers! Maybe you ask yourself, “ERnie, whateveR Do You mEan?” What I mean is: bring your car down to Ernie’s Mufflers. We’ll have a trained and/or certified technician check on all your whosies, your whatsies, and maybe get you and your car your truck feelin’ good again.

[music stops]

Announcer Ernie’s Mufflers! Come on down and ask about our King Falls AM discount.

[KFAM theme]

Sammy Welcome back folks, and thanks for tuning in to King Falls AM. Sitting in the studio with us this evening is— can I say lovely now, Ben?

Ben [awestruck] Stunning.

Sammy Is the lovely Miss Emily Potter. She’s here to talk more about the town’s library’s Grand Re-opening later this week, is that correct?

Emily It is! Aand thank you for having me on, Sammy, and Ben! I’ve been listening to you every night!

Ben [still awed] Beautiful.

Sammy Well, we certainly appreciate it. Now- if you don’t mind, catch me up to speed on why our fair town’s library was closed in the first place.

Ben [murmured]Gorgeous.

Sammy [softly prompting] Ben?

Ben *gasps* Hey! Sammy.

Emily Well, the library was closed due to renovation. It’s an older building, and—

Ben  [fast tour-guide-voice] Built by Francois Swindle, 1912. Largest brick-and-mortar structure in King Falls until 1918 when City Hall was built.

Emily Oh my gosh! you are exactly right, Ben! So smart.

Sammy Y’know, I’ve driven past it. It is a magnificent building, uh- So they’re just replacing some older fixtures, and what-have-you.

Emily Oh no, the top floor of the library was set on fire.

Sammy I’m sorry, purposely? Wh-who tries to burn down a library?

Emily Unfortunately that mystery is yet to be solved, but not for lack of trying. Sheriff Gunderson and Deputy Troy have been hard at work these past few months. Though, I think the bigger problem was the disappearance of Mrs. Kilpatrick.

Sammy [hold-up-now voice] Wait a second. The library was set ablaze. The old librarian, Miss Kilpatrick—

Ben God rest her soul.

Sammy -has disappeared. What is going on here? I mean, a-are there any leads? Y’know, other than Ben?

Ben [nervously] Hah! Good one, Sammy! *nervous laugh* What a kidder! I’m no-I’m not- I’m not sure why you’d say that, at this time.

Sammy Two words. Book. Shack. Uh, but- but I mean, seriously, folks. How many people are missing in this town?

Ben *clears throat* Emily- uh, c-can I call you Emily?

Emily Please do!

Ben Ca-can you tell the listeners anything that might- help shed some light on these subjects?

Emily Well, for weeks leading up to the fire, Mrs. Kilpatrick had been having… visions.

Sammy [skeptical] Visions.

Emily Yes. To the point where upper management had been talking about retirement. [hesitantly] I… I don’t know if we should be talking about this, with the investigation ongoing and all.

Sammy I think—

Ben [overly earnest] Maybe it could help, Emily- your words, your magnificent words, could be our best- last chance at saving- dear Mrs. Kilpatrick.

Emily [she sounds like a smile] You’re right, Benny.

Sammy Um…

Emily The vision she had was by the checkout desk? At first it was a shadowy figure carrying a book. Upon closer inspection— she realized it was actually [timidly] President Lincoln, who, she believed, was trying to check out a book.

Sammy [very skeptically] President- Abraham Lincoln.

Ben [mocking] Sixteenth president of the United States, geeeez Sammy, catch up, will ya?

Emily This went on every night at closing for close to a week. Until the second vision appeared.

Ben Go on.

Emily She watched from the second floor as President Lincoln brought the book to the front desk.

Sammy [clearly not buying it] Just by chance, uh, what book does a deceased president of the United States try to check out?

Ben “Twelve Years a Slave”, duhh.

Sammy Alright, too easy, Ben. How ‘bout, uh, “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.”

Emily I don’t think-

Ben I like it, but I think Lincoln is probably more of a “Who Moved My Cheese?[1]” type.

Emily Privacy and all— I-I couldn’t say even if I wanted to.

Ben Yeah Sammy, privacy and all!

Sammy [sarcastic chagrin] Of course. Library-patient privilege, gotcha. So, please continue, Miss Potter.

Emily So, she watched from afar, quietly putting away the periodicals. Then, she felt a wind rush past her to the ledge. That’s, when she saawww—

Sammy What did she see?

Emily A vision of John Wilkes-Booth. Peering over the ledge, watching the president as he waited for a librarian that never came.

Ben Fascinating.

Sammy Okay—

Ben Oh here comes Mr. Skeptic- [aside] he didn’t believe in General Abilene— Lemme guess Sammy, you don’t believe in Presidents of the United States either? The Great Emancipator.

Sammy [peeved] Oh Ben, will you stop it. I’m just wary- that a ghost of—

Ben and Emily Vision.

Sammy Right. Eh- That a vision of President Lincoln and his assassin would be wandering the halls of King Falls Public Library, that’s all.

Emily I understand your reticence to believe in the visions, Sammy. I thought the same thing. But, as I’m sure as Ben can attest, Mrs. Kilpatrick wasn’t one to—

Ben If she said she saw it? She saw it.

Sammy So, she has visions. Um, what does that have to do with the fire?

Emily Well- Mrs. Kilpatrick actually lived in a small apartment in the library.

Sammy In the library?! Ugh, that might be creepier than the visions.

Emily She complained to management about the noises, the visits. Apparently, there were arguments—

Sammy Arguments? Between Lincoln and Booth?

Ben So they were keeping Old Lady Kilpatrick awake at night.

Sammy And, y’know, then Kilpatrick gets fed up. Uh, there’s no Peter Venkman[2] to call, so she does what she can do and sets the place on fire?

Emily Well, I don’t know if Mrs. Kilpatrick would’ve done that.

Ben All due respect? Oh, she would have!

Sammy [glibly] I think it’s cut and dry, actually, you know? Maybe we should call Deputy Troy and solve this cold case.

Ben Well, what do you think happened, Emily?

Emily I have to assume that Booth did what he could to get to the president again. Unofficially, of course. Ah— god, we- we shouldn’t even talk about this with the investigation and all.

Sammy Alright, well, that said, we’re gonna open up the phone lines now. We’re talkin’ about the library opening back up later this week, uh, after some difficulties; maybe you’ve got a question for Emily!

Ben Maybe you’ve seen the visions in the library as well, we-we’d love to hear about that.

Sammy Or that too. Uh, You’ve heard our story, now let’s hear yours. 424-279-3858.

Ben Or tweet us @KingFallsAM. Line 12, uh, wouldn’t give a name.

Sammy You’re on King Falls AM.

Line 12 Yeah, I’ve got a question for Emily.

Emily Hi!

Line 12 So let’s say that… my friend checked out a book last year, and- due to the fire and the closing- wasn’t able to return it on time. Are overdue charges being forgiven?

Emily If you couldn’t return it due to our renovation, then, I’m sure we can overlook it.

Line 12 Cool!

Sammy Thanks for the question.

Line 12 Wait! I’ve got another question for Emily!

Emily Oh! Okay?

Line 12 Are you seeing anybod–

[click, dial tone]

Ben Next caller! Uh, we’ve got line 4, Cynthia.

Sammy Hello Cynthia, you’re on the air.

Cynthia [Cynthia has a high-pitched, nasally, persistent “I want to speak to your manager” voice] From what I gathered on this interview as well as the news report that Channel 13 ran—

Ben *snickers* You shouldn’t listen to them, Cynthia.

Cynthia Excuse me Ben! Excuse me!

Sammy Cynthia—

Cynthia From what I’m gathering, the library- if you wanna call it that- is a Despot of Desolation. Arson? Check. “Fifty Shades of Grey”? Check. Presidential assassins? Cheeeck!

Emily Cynthia, I believe—

Cynthia What are you, twelve? And you’re running the show? Could we at least get an adult to watch over that Den of Depravity?

Sammy Cynthia, I think we could probably argue that the worst of the library’s problems are behind it.

Ben This is a new chapter in its history! *stutters* Did you see what I did there, Emily?

Emily *laughs* You’re so funny!

Cynthia Oh my god. Hose those two down, Sammy. It’s unbearable.

Sammy Cynthia, did you have a question regarding the library?

Cynthia Yes. My boys are ten and six. Does the revamped library have a kids’ corner?

Emily It most certainly does!

Cynthia [snooty] Are you overseeing it?

Emily Yes I am!

Cynthia *scoffs* [click]

[dial tone]

Ben Weee’ve got line 8, Sammy.

Sammy King Falls AM.

Line 8 Hey King Falls. Long-time listener. First-time caller.

Ben Long time?

Sammy Uh- The station appreciates the patrionage.[sic]

Line 8 I don’t listen to the station really, I- [low, “seductive” tone] I listen to you.

[click, dial tone]

Emily Oh.

Sammy Okaaay.

Ben Yikes. Uh, try 14, Sammy.

Sammy Good evening, welcome to the show.

Line 14 [shaky, old-woman voice] I saw the president.

Ben Oh! Another sighting!

Sammy Ma’am, are we talking about President Lincoln at King Falls Library? or President Obama on Fox News type’a thing?

Line 14 Lincoln.

Ben [triumphantly] Hoh!

Emily Mrs. Kilpatrick?

Probably Mrs. Kilpatrick I saw him! [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy Well terrific, I mean, I didn’t need to sleep tonight anyways, it’s fine.

Ben Uh, one more before commercial. We- we’ve got Greg, line 1.

Sammy Greg, do ya have a question for us?

Greg [def. Line 12 from earlier]  Yes, this question is for Emily? If a man, such as- my friend- wanted to court you, would you be availabl—

Ben [click, dial tone]  Pay some bills, Sammy.

Sammy Emily, thank you so much for being here with us tonight- enlightening us with the tales of the library.

Emily Oh it was my pleasure. I just want all the listeners to know that, while we can’t wish the visions away? they more than likely will stay away from us in crowds, so please come join me for the re-opening ceremonies this Thursday at 10AM!

Ben I will be there.

Emily You’re a sweetheart, Benny. Thanks for having me on, guys.

[door shutting]

Ben [excitedly] Any time, Emily!

Sammy She’s gone, “Benny.”

Ben [hostile] Ben.

Sammy Oh! So only Emily can call you Benny.

Ben Sh-she didn’t call me… “Benny”. *scoff/laugh* You’re ridiculous.

Sammy Oh yeah, that’s me. Look, I get it. I mean, she’s a very attractive girl, and you guys hit it off—

Ben [pleased] We did, didn’t we.

Sammy But really, she called you Benn—

Ben Don’t

Sammy *chuckles* That’s the Ben we know and love, folks.

Ben Yeah, yeah.

Sammy Alright! Now after this quick message from our sponsors, we’re gonna be back and we’re gonna be talking with Dr. Raúl from the King Falls Chiropractic Center and getting daily tips to keep our backs on the straight and narrow. And I’m sure Ben will be just as flirtatious with the good doctor.

Ben *tsk* [lightly] Is he lovely too?

[outtro music]

[CREDITS]

References:

[1] “Who Moved My Cheese?” - per Wikipedia: “Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life”, published on September 8, 1998, is a motivational business fable. The text describes change in one's work and life, and four typical reactions to those changes by two mice and two "Littlepeople", during their hunt for cheese.”

[2] Peter Venkman - Dr. Peter Venkman is one of the original Ghostbusters. He has doctorates in both psychology and parapsychology. Played by Bill Murray

[dragonofyang]

Let’s Voltron! Ep 175 Transcript

The full transcript of the podcast Let’s Voltron! episode 175 with Donya Abramo as a guest interviewing JDS and LM below the cut. Feel free to use this for all your citation and referential needs.

@leakinghate @crystal-rebellion @felixazrael @voltronisruiningmylife

Vrepit Sa!

[Intro music]

MM: Welcome Voltron fans! This is Marc Morrell, your host for Let’s Voltron! the official Voltron podcast. We’re excited because we have a great interview today. We haven’t talked to these people since the season came out, since season 8, so, we’re excited. I have to bring on my cohost Greg Tyler, welcome Greg.

GT: Hello, Marc Morrell. Hello listeners and fellow Voltron fans across the universe. This is a really, really fun podcast because we have some really awesome guests.

MM: And I also have another guest that I wanna bring on. So, all the way from the other side of the pond, in the UK, welcome Donya Abramo. Donya, welcome.

DA: Hi! It’s really nice to be back again.

GT: Awesome, it’s great to have you back with us again. How are things going with Hypable?

DA: Really good! Yeah, picking up a couple new shows. So since Voltron went off the air, I’ve picked up a few more animated shows, so I’m now covering She-Ra, The Dragon Prince, and I’m also doing my usual everything Marvel. Literally everything Marvel, which, considering there are three movies now in quick succession that’s keeping me busy.

GT: No doubt.

MM: Yeah, Marvel has a pretty heavy spring coming up, don’t they?

DA: Oh, just a little bit, yeah.

[laughter]

MM: Well, it’s exciting to have you on, and I’m-I’m really thankful that you were able to do this even though it’s really strange time of the morning for you right now.

DA: Yeah, it’s actually really interesting, ‘cuz usually this would be 2 a.m. for me, but because you guys have saved daylight already, it’s actually 1 a.m.

MM: That’s awesome that we timed that just perfectly.

DA: Yeah.

GT: That’s right. Who do we have to thank for that? Ben Franklin? I think he knew you were going to be on this podcast hundreds of years later.

MM: Alright, so why don’t we bring on our very special guests, what do you say?

GT: Let’s do it.

MM: Alright. Coming all the way from California--from the other direction--we have the showrunners of Voltron: Legendary Defender Joaquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery. Welcome guys.

LM: Thanks.

JDS: Hey guys, thanks for having us.

MM: [laughter] So great to have you guys on again.

GT: Yes, welcome back.

LM: Yeah, well, we’re glad to be back now that Voltron’s all wrapped and we can kinda talk about it on the whole. No more of this, uh, kinda shifty “we can’t tell ya” stuff.

JDS: [faintly] Right.

MM: That’s right.

GT: Yeah, you were last on when we recorded our fifth anniversary podcast, which was released on the season 8 drop day, so you know, obviously we couldn’t do spoilers during that recording, so now we can, uh, spoil in reverse.

[laughter]

LM: There you go.

MM: And we have another person on with us, so Donya you’re able to ask any questions any times you want. Is that okay?

DA: Yep. [laughter] That would be fine.

GT: Would you like that opportunity, Donya? [laughter]

DA: I don’t know, might be nice.

[laughter]

LM: I think Donya wants to take a nap.

[laughter]

GT: Yeah, so we started recording at 9 p.m. Eastern, it’s 6 p.m. Eastern in LA, and 1 a.m. in the UK, right?

DA: Yep.

GT: Alright, so we got a three-year time-jump in there, just like on Voltron. [others laugh] Er, not quite three years, just a little shy.

JDS: Yeah.

MM: These are decaphoebs.

GT: There you go.

JDS: That’s right.

GT: So, uh, real quick before we dive into the meat and potatoes of this, all those Altean time units - did you guys just know them off the top of your heads, or did you have to look those up all the time?

JDS: Oh--

LM: Oh, yeah, I had no idea at any point. I think those were all made up by the writers. All I ever knew was “ticks” and then everything after that, I was like, “Um…” I would just kinda have to go to the writers and be like, “Which one is a week? Which one is a month?” I eventually got “decaphoeb” which is a year, right?

GT: Yep.

LM: And then we assumed “phoeb” was kind of, like, generally a month.

GT: Right.

JDS: Right, “phoeb” was-was one-one quadrant of the year.

LM: Yeah, and they had a whole thing where it was like “movement”, which, I don’t even know if that was just a day or week--

MM: It’s like a week.

LM: Okay--

JDS: Wow, okay, see you guys definitely know better than we do because we were-

LM: Yeah.

JDS: “Movement” means something totally different to me, it’s like-like a bowel movement.

LM: Bathroom talk, right there.

[laughter]

LM: But yeah, I honestly, I don’t know. What was a day? Do you guys know?

MM: “Day” was a “quintant”.

LM: Alright, yeah! That’s right.

JDS: That’s right, a quintant.

LM: All these Coran lines are popping back into my head.

JDS: Yeah.

GT: Yeah, I remember Lance saying he wasn’t born yesterquintant. [laughter]

JDS: That’s right.

LM: Awesome.

GT: Alright, so Voltron is over, the two of you have moved on to, uh, other projects. Is there anything you can say about what you’re working on right now?

JDS: Uh, not really.

LM: No.

JDS: Other than it’s very cool and fun and we’re-we’re--

LM: Yeah.

JDS: --you know, very excited.

LM: It’s just the lay of the land. It’s kinda how animation goes. You make a thing, then you move on to another thing, and you make a thing.

JDS: Yeah.

LM: But, uh, but yeah.

GT: We’re excited for the next things, whatever they are. [laughter]

LM: Awesome.

MM: So, in preparation for talking to you guys tonight, um, I had gone back and listened to a lot of our previous conversations and everything just to make sure that, uh, anything that we had gone over before, uh, if there was something that we wanted to recapture or re-talk about or something like that we could bring it up tonight. One thing that I remember from going over all of this, we had done an interview with Andrea Romano.

JDS: Mm.

LM: Mm-hm.

MM: And she told us a story about when you guys pitched her the idea of you guys joining for this show. So do you guys remember that-that time? And it was basically where she said, “Okay, pitch to me, you know, what it is that Voltron’s all about and what it is that you wanna do with it.”

LM: Oh, gosh.

JDS: Boy, I… Yeah.

LM: So long ago! You’re asking my memory to do things it does not usually do.

JDS: Yeah, I mean-I mean I think-I think it’s safe to assume that we were probably begging and groveling on some level just to get her on board because we knew how awesome Andrea is, so there was probably a bit of that.

LM: There may have been a little bit of, you know, delirium from some hard working late nights but, uh, but yeah I-I remember the day she came in, I remember we sat in a room and that’s literally all I remember.

MM: So you don’t remember what you told her about what Voltron really is?

LM: Did it involve robot lions?

JDS: Did it involve teamwork? And did it involve, you know, friendship? I’ll bet, Marc, I’ll bet you know.

[laughter]

GT: Well I don’t remember either, so.

MM: I do know that it was a bunch of young people that under, you know, unforeseen circumstances come together and find these robot lions that form Voltron and it’s this giant robot that is formed by these five robot mechs. And along the way they, you know, find out that they’re basically the defenders of the universe. And they have, you know, they have to work it out as a team, and they have to work together, and they have a lot of adventures where they have to go up against the bad guys.

LM: That sounds about right.

GT: That’s a great pitch, Marc, I think we should make a show based on that, what do you think?

[laughter]

MM: Yeah. Well, the thing about it is-is Andrea remembers saying to you guys, “How did this ever work? How did it ever become popular?”

LM: Yeah, I-I think that’s something that probably people would say about 90% of the stuff I watched as a kid. I mean, I grew up on some--like Thundercats--like, and they’re just human people and they look kinda cattish, and then one guy was in-in a cryotube that cracked and then he came out a man. Like, I don’t know, how did that work? We watched that stuff anyway.

GT: And don’t forget “Snyarf! Snyarf!”

LM: Yeah! So, I mean, you know, Care Bears, they’re just little colorful bears with pictures on their tummies and they shoot rainbows out of their tummies. Like, I’m down. I don’t know if everyone’s down, but I’m down. So yeah, I think it was just something that captured our imaginations as kids and stuck with us, and so when it came time to, you know, to-to have it redone through DreamWorks, we wanted to kind of channel our love for the property into something that would maybe be a little updated to what our tastes were more like today versus what our tastes were as children, if that makes sense.

MM: Okay. So at that time did you know it was a 78-episode contract?

JDS: Yes.

LM: Yes we did. That was probably one of our biggest lies. You know, sadly. We try not to lie too much, but I’ll tell you, I’m gonna blow-blow the whole industry up right now: if an animated show tells you they don’t know if they have a second season, they probably know they have a second season.

JDS: That’s right.

LM: There’s a really good chance they already made it, and you know, so, where we always have to tell that, like, “Well, we hope people watch it and if they like it, well, maybe. We’ll see!” But it’s such-it’s such a lie.

JDS: The way it works, you know, is we have to make these things so far in advance for them to even make air, uh, that-that second season is either picked up or-or in production or midway through production or… yeah.

LM: Yeah, and I think there’s always just like, uh, that desire to, you know, be able to break that news. I think for-for whoever handles that kind of PR/internet traffic side of things, like, we want to be able to announce the next season and they’re like, “Okay, that’s fine, whatever.” W-we’re just making the show.

GT: That raises an interesting question. Do you have to be--and I know this is gonna sound silly--but do you have to be trained when you join a new project? Or are you so accustomed to the way this stuff gets marketed that it’s second nature to you now?

LM: A little bit of both.

JDS: Yeah.

LM: I think, like, upfront, so, um, I-I’ve always been, I guess, a little more truthful than I should have sometimes in my earlier projects. I made a, uh, movie through Warner Brothers. It was called Batman/Superman: Apocalypse, but it was about Supergirl. And they didn’t call it Supergirl, they called it Superman/Batman: Apocalypse.

GT: Right.

LM: And so when people would ask, I would be like, “Yeah, they had to put a big boy name on it ‘cuz they didn’t think a girl movie would sell.” And then I would get my PR guy and say like, “Hey, hey Lauren, you’re not supposed to say that.” And so, uh, I had to kinda learn, you know, sometimes you need to be a little more positive? [laughter] But, you know, hey man, sometimes people need to hear the truth.

JDS: But I’d say also specifically to Voltron, like it was pretty un-unprecedented in terms of like, an animated series of its kind getting picked up for that many episodes right off the bat, so… I mean we always joked that it was, like, the worst-kept secret ‘cuz I think Playmates at some point had, like, toy fair, like, put up a thing saying “78 episodes guaranteed!” and I think Tyler maybe said it because he hadn’t been told not to say it on some radio pod--some radio show. So it was like the worst-kept secret but it was also pretty interesting ‘cuz we were like, like one of the only shows that I know of that got picked up for that many episodes--

GT: That is amazing.

LM: Yeah.

JDS: --right off the bat.

MM: So, did they want you to write a story that only had a 78-episode arc, or did they tell you “there’s always an opportunity if this gets really big that we could have more”?

LM: I think--I don’t know--like at the time we were told 78 episodes, and that was it. And I think, like, maybe there--er, in our minds--like, if the thing was just, like, gangbusters, then there was a possibility for more, but I think what they actually learned over the process of making a 78-episode thing is that 78 episodes is a whole lot of a thing.

MM: Right.

GT: Oh yeah.

LM: And then, the-they’d actually made close to that of some other shows and realized that they really don’t need that many episodes. No, not every show has a serialized story and can maybe go that far, but for us, yeah. I think-I think ultimately when they started to kinda realize those numbers, it was like, “Alright, 78 episodes, that’s good enough.” And we were always planning for the 78 anyway, so uh, like honestly if they’d given us more we would’ve been like, “Uh… What’re we gonna do now?”

JDS: It’s funny, you know, we-we sort of, like, had this-this, you know, loose structure of sort of, kind of, where this story could go, but at some point you know, the show and the characters, they just kinda take on lives of their own to some extent and you-you zig where you thought you were gonna zag, a-and you know, the thing kinda goes where it needs to, so it’s like you… I remember we were, sort of, excited about the fact that like, hey we can like--and we did to some extent set some things up that could pay off later, but there was other stuff that we just-it was just kind of going and we were just on this-this production train, you know? We were like, “Oh wow, this-this thing is happening.”

MM: So, had Tim Hedrick, at the beginning, had he written out anything like a story bible that would kinda say “this is what’s gonna happen at the beginning”, “this is, like, a hazy middle area”, and then “maybe this is the end”?

JDS: No, our bible was about as loose as you’ll find. It was basically just to kinda pitch the show in its concept. So there was no… we would talk in meetings about maybe where we thought the characters’ arc would go.

LM: Yeah, I mean we had character arcs that we ended up, you know, having to completely adjust through--during the creation of the show because of, you know, whatever note here or there. So, like, we would have, like, some characters we thought we knew where they were going to end up that didn’t happen, and some characters we didn’t really know at all and then that just kind of solidified as it went through.

JDS: Right.

LM: And then, uh, a-and I’ll say, we really didn’t know--I’d say the biggest things we knew was we wanted Zarkon, kind of, for the first arc, and Lotor for the second arc, we didn’t really know, like, what we wanted for the third arc yet.

JDS: Right. That sort of started to present itself later.

LM: Like, and we had some, like, weird ideas that, like, never felt really personal, and then we kinda realized Honvera/Haggar was kinda the most--you know, the character who’d been with us the whole time. And uh, it was--and I was happy ‘cuz, you know, I like it when female characters can be involved in good ways and bad ways.

JDS: Yeah.

MM: Did you ever feel like you needed to, you know, give a certain complexity to those villains with always the chance that they could be somehow redeemed near the end?

JDS: Uh, I mean, I think we just like the idea of complexity in the villains, like, just-just generally and that came from, uh, Avatar but I think solidified on Korra. Uh, you know, when you look at a character like Amon or you look at a character like Zaheer, like, there were aspects of those characters that I totally agreed with.

LM: Mm-hm. Yeah, we also liked the idea not every, like, villain gets to be fully redeemed. Like, maybe there are things that are a little too bad to come back from. I think because we had worked on Avatar and Zuko was such a huge thing and he was such an awesome character, we didn’t want to immediately make everyone Zuko who was like yeah, and ultimately everyone becomes a good guy in the end.

JDS: Right.

[Hosts make noises of agreement.]

LM: So we wanted to, uh, to just have that door open.

JDS: But we also just didn’t want to do the mustachioed villain that’s just, like, a villain for villain’s sake so it was, we were playing this middle ground.

LM: Yeah, where you have characters who are doing bad things and you can kinda explain how they would get to that point.

JDS: Right.

LM: And ‘cuz that’s just, honestly that’s just a fascinating thing for me. Like I enjoy kinda studying what events would have to happen to get this character who you think would never do this thing, what would have to happen to push them to do that thing. That’s just something that I find incredibly interesting and love exploring, but uh, you know, hey man, shit gets crazy.

JDS: It does get crazy.

[Hosts laugh]

DA: Was there, um, was there a character who you were absolutely certain that their story was going to turn out a specific way that just flipped and went the, like, in the complete opposite direction to what you were expecting in the course of just figuring out the story?

JDS: I mean, you know, I-I think the big one for us was-was Shiro. You know, we’ve sort of talked about this publicly, we were orig--the original creation of Shiro was to set Keith up as the leader.

LM: I mean he was essentially our Sven. You know, we just changed his name from Sven to the original.

JDS: But we were going to keep him around a little longer than Sven lasted.

LM: Yeah, that was our whole thing was, like, “Okay, we still want to kinda do that Voltron thing where this character leaves the show, but we don’t wanna make--we don’t want him to feel disposable, we want him to feel like a super important character.” And then that kinda ended up kicking us in the butt because then the execs were like, “This is a super important character! You can’t, you can’t--”

MM: Well he became Space Dad.

LM: And it’s--and you know it’s--they were really just kinda channeling, I think, the love that they ultimately knew the fans would have for that character because he ended up being such a huge fan-favorite and, you know, we really can just thank the writers for that because they made sure that he did not feel, uh, you know, expendable.

JDS: Like, like, sort of expendable and--and also, like, you know, on one hand he fills a potentially boring space, which is, like, yeah, the leader/soldier/hero guy, and they very much made him not that, and, you know, that’s I think a perfect example of like, uh, a story point that just evolved on its own and sort of took a direction that we couldn’t have foreseen but we were-we were ultimately super happy with.

LM: Yeah.

MM: With knowing that Shiro was going to be sticking with you throughout the-the rest of the show, did you ever think of going back and telling us what his childhood was like, or who his parents were, or anything like that? He was one of the few characters who we really didn’t get that kind of a backstory on.

JDS: You know, we had originally a flashback pitch, uh, that showed Shiro I think with his family at a young age. It just, it became not as important to tell as some of the other aspects of his life, but also we had a lot of other familial backstories with the other characters that we wanted to cover.

LM: Yeah, and--I think, yeah, some of Shiro’s backstory just ultimately felt a little bit repetitive. I’m sure we could’ve, like, looked into it more and tried to find a way to make it stand out from the other characters, but ultimately when you’re, you know, moving at breakneck pace and trying to make these stories just happen, you know. I wish we would’ve had more time to sit there and-and really make every part of every character figured out 100%.

JDS: Yeah.

LM: But, when you’re moving so fast and you’re, “Okay, we have this, it feels like it’s stepping on the space for this other character, okay get rid of it.” Move forward. And that’s--that’s just kinda how these-these shows happen.

JDS: And it’s-it’s the same way that we, you know, we would sort of run in. With this many characters in a show, we’d often run into the thing where it’d be like, season 2, the big, sort of, the loudest aspect from the fandom would be like, “Oh, this character isn’t getting enough screentime.” And it’d be like, “Okay, we got, you know, this many episodes, we got this many characters, we’ll get to ‘em, but there’s only a certain amount of time.” And that’s all while juggling all the production craziness of, like, having three or four shows in production at a time.

MM: Yeah, I remember asking you at the end of season 6, uh, where was Matt? [laughter]

JDS: Yeah.

LM: Yeah. Well, Matt, actually, was--he started to become a little bit of a casualty of the availability of his voice actor because, uh, Blake was so hard to get into the studio, we literally found ourselves just writing him out of episodes.

JDS: Yeah.

LM: Like, and-and it was sad because I-I was really excited that we’d gotten Blake, um, and I was a really big fan of him from Workaholics, but he’s busy. He’s a busy actor, and so I think I had always wanted Matt to be a little more involved, but hey when you can’t get the actor in you just, you know. It--I guess you either have to get a sound-alike and we never really liked having to do that because it never sounded alike.

JDS: Right.

[laughter]

LM: So, uh, so yeah, he kinda--we ended up kinda crutching a ton on Sam, which I think was not at all expected.

JDS: Right.

LM: Because Sam was always kind of--his head was definitely on the chopping block, of like, “Hey, do we wanna give Pidge some sort of, like, she had a success with Matt, do we wanna give her, like, a failure with Sam?”

GT: Right.

LM: And then, like, I had no clue how-how integral he would become to that final Earth season, so it’s--I guess it’s good that we didn’t just axe him.

JDS: And it-it’s tough, like, it’s-it’s, you know, we call it, like, stunt-casting sometimes, but that’s-that’s the risk you run with, you know, hiring actors that voice-acting is not their, like, their main profession--

LM: Like their main bread and butter.

JDS: Yeah, like that’s--

GT: Like Norman Reedus.

MM: Steven, like Steven Yeun.

LM: Yeah. And Steven, he really bent over backwards to make himself available for us, but even-even with him we ran into a couple episodes, like, I think-I think we even, we’ve talked about it there was one episode, the game show episode!

[Hosts make sounds of understanding]

LM: Well you’ll notice in the beginning Keith sounds really groggy for no reason, and we literally just couldn’t get Steven in to re-read that line. It was like, “Alright! Well, this is going through.”

MM: “He’s just groggy.”

LM: “That’s production! Sorry.” It’s, you know. But hey man, sometimes that’s the fun of it. You can watch that episode and be like, “Oh, that’s one of the problems with making a TV show on a fast schedule.”

JDS: Right right right.

GT: So one of the things--and this is of very minor importance by comparison to character arcs--but one of the things that I noticed over a lot of Voltron merchandise: the tie-in books, uh, the toys, was all this stuff about each Paladin being a guardian spirit of this or that or what in the other, and the lions were labeled that way, too. What happened with that stuff?

JDS: This is where our, like, you know, our-our producing minds and our consumer/product, sort of, minds, uh, uh--

LM: Diverge.

JDS: Yeah. Where we sort of, like, grew apart. We sort of went divergent from each other. And, you know, early on I think that was a pitch that we got when we had, like, meetings and I think had we, I don’t even know how to say this--

LM: Yeah, it was--it was something that was not really in our original pitch--

JDS: It was--it was pitched to us from, like, the consumer/product standpoint, like, “Hey, this would be a good thing to latch onto.” And it just wasn’t really something that we were--

LM: Yeah, I think there were symbols that they really liked that they wanted to use in some of the consumer products, and like we’re all for it--

GT: Yeah, like different lion logos or whatever?

LM: --but we-we couldn’t really, like, it wasn’t inherent in our story and we struggled to find a way to work it in, and ultimately I think we just kind of came--we knew, like, we had voiced our opinions on the symbols. We weren’t super fond of the design, we’d done some designs to fix ‘em, and they had, kind of, just, I guess--

JDS: They had already moved along with their designs and so it was just--

LM: --and so we didn’t really want to work them into the show, just ‘cuz we didn’t feel like they could adhere to the aesthetic we’d created. And so we’re just like, “I’m sorry, it’s gonna have to be, like, a weird offshoot point”. So, you know. But it’s a lesson to learn that, uh, I wish we had control over everything in the show, but we don’t, and there’s other offshoots with the consumer products, and-and they kind of work in their own little bubble and we work in ours, and we try to meet up to--as best we can--to make things work.

JDS: But it doesn’t always work.

LM: Yeah, I mean we worked the lion upgrades in, like, that was asked specifically for the toys, and we found a way to, you know, get those into the show and make them feel kinda natural. But we couldn’t do it with everything.

GT: Right.

MM: There was a 3D-VR experience called Voltron VR Chronicles--

JDS: Yeah.

MM: --and that first episode that came out was called “Seeds of Corruption”. It was a Lance-focused episode, and they had said there would be more episodes coming. Did you ever hear what happened to that?

JDS: I think, yeah we were-we were, like, sorta peripherally involved, uh…

LM: I mean, yeah, they showed it to us along the way, and it was really cool to see it take form. I-I just don’t, I don’t know, I know that there were plans, they had like a story arced out.

JDS: Yeah, I think ultimately, a lot of it just comes down to if that-that was like a-a rip-roaring success, you would have absolutely seen more, but I think maybe,I don’t know, maybe-maybe there just wasn’t support because it didn’t-it didn’t get the numbers that they needed.

LM: Yeah, I don’t know how many Voltron fans have, like, the full VR/PS--

MM: Right.

LM: --VR setup. So it’s kinda--sadly I think it’s kind of a niche sale and I think when you’re marketing to something that’s-that’s not really, like, globally, massively accepted yet, maybe it’s a little harder to really get a big return on your investment.

JDS: I’d say V--like, I’d like to know exactly, sort of, on a-on a-on a bigger scale--like, VR in general. I’m excited about it still from, like, an artistic perspective, but I still haven’t quite seen, you know, the promise of-of all the things that were, like, supposed to be happening right now.

GT: Yeah, what’s the killer app, right?

JDS: Yeah, and I’m-I’m going back all the way to Lawnmower Man, guys, come on.

GT: Yeah.

JDS: Got our rig, while we’re spinnin’ around.

MM: What we need is a place called The Oasis like in Ready Player One, where we’re all connected and we can watch Voltron episodes completely in 360 degree immersion.

JDS: One day.

LM: There you go.

[laughter]

GT: Yeah, I’ve often wondered how that’d even work. To have full 360 degree immersion, how do you make sure you’re looking where you need to look as the story unfolds around you?

JDS: Right. That’s the big question.

MM: They cue you to look in certain directions to make sure that you’re following along with the story, but it also gives it an opportunity, if you are-are really interested in looking in a different direction, then they might have alternative options like Choose Your Adventure type things.

GT: Yeah, that’d be really tough to write in a-in a effective way, I guess--

MM: Right.

GT: --as a story. But getting back to-to-to what you talked about with the consumer products and all that good stuff, I mean, to a point it boils down to this Voltron not being creator-owned but rather a licensed property. And so I was wondering how would you--how might you compare and contrast Voltron with licensed properties you’ve worked on in the past such as various DC characters, G.I. Joe, and-and whatever you might have in the hopper right now. How would you compare and contrast Voltron with those others?

JDS: Uh, I mean, well, it’s interesting, like, I think Voltron is unique in the sense that it’s still--I don’t even know if it’s, like, owned by World Events--but it’s still, they still very much have, like, a say in the creative direction of it so that’s-that’s one aspect that we found unique, uh, even when producing the show. But I think it’s also, it was this property that had kind of, you know--I know you guys have been carrying the torch--but kinda gone away for a while, right?

GT: Oh, absolutely.

JDS: So we were kind of coming up with a lot of this lore and this backstory on our own. We were obviously using stuff from, you know Go--Beast King and Voltron, but it was unique in that it was just gone. So I think it was off people’s radars for a while, whereas like the DC stuff that we worked on, like DC’s been around the whole time, you know? People kind of know what to expect, they know generally who the characters are, what their personalities and backstories are, so it was--it was unique in that, like, we were, like, kind of reintroducing this and in a sense, it absolutely isn’t creator-driven but I think we got, sort of, put into, like, a, uh, a creator position on it.

LM: Mm-hm. And we were thrilled to be able to do it. We were thrilled to be able to bring, like, our vision to this show and I mean, essentially it almost felt like we were kind of almost recreating it, like, in our own little way. Whereas a lot of the times when I worked on a lot of the DC stuff, like, you know, I was never recreating Superman, I was just telling a story in his world, you know, with that character. And there was always, like, a very specific set of rules as to what that character could and couldn’t do. We could never really break that mold. But with Voltron, we have a lot of freedom to remake these characters how we felt we wanted them to be for the story, so I mean that was really great. I personally never worked on something that, I think, was gonna have such a large, kinda, consumer products, um, push behind it. I had mostly worked--a lot of the DC stuff was just kind of--

MM: They were just stories, right?

LM: Yeah, they were stories, they were one-offs, they were--they kind of, they expected--they knew, like, they were going to go to the specific kind of comic book fan market and-and that was it. It was just kind of like, “Here’s one piece of art that’s out there, enjoy it or don’t enjoy it.” And then Voltron had so much more around it, the whole franchise and, like, how this was going to play out in other departments. It wasn’t really just us there to, kind of, make the decisions.

JDS: It was the first time we had been in so many meetings with so many other departments that were, like, pitching us their vision for Voltron, which, you know, sometimes it was like, “Okay, that’s kind of a neat concept,” and sometimes it was like--

LM: “We’re not doing that.”

JDS: “We’re very scared about what we’re seeing right now.” Like, how do we nicely tell these people we’re not gonna do it?

LM: I feel we’ve told the--I think we’ve told this story before of, like, how many times we got asked if Voltron could talk.

JDS: Yeah.

LM: Yeah, they just really wanted to make a little, a helmet that, you know, you talked in the helmet and then your voice came out and it was Voltron’s voice. And I’m like, “I’m sorry, he’s not--it’s a robot! It doesn’t talk!” But--

MM: You got him to talk in “The Voltron Show”.

JDS: Exactly.

LM: Yeah, that was our wink-wink.

JDS: That was the total nod to that moment.

LM: All just so they could sell Voltron helmets. Just kidding.

[laughter]

JDS: There was a lot--it was a lot--it was a lot of coordinating beyond, you know, beyond uh, a scale we had seen before. And we were coming off of Korra, which was literally just, like, “Make a story. There is nothing tied to this beyond a story.”

LM: Yeah. And it was cre--you know, Bryan and Mike’s creation and then they got to make their own artistic vision there. And so, yeah, going from that and then coming to Voltron where we very much had to, kind of, play game with the studio and we were, like, 100% understanding of that going into it. But yeah, it’s a different part of the industry and you just, you adjust, and it’s just part of your profession, your career, and as a professional you-you figure it out and you make it work.

JDS: Right.

GT: Okay.

MM: Did you guys have any sense for inclusion, in diversity, in representation, all that you kinda wanted to bring into the show even when you were starting out?

LM: Yeah.

JDS: I mean I think that was--the idea was to-to make the characters, you know--you know, the original Beast King obviously was a bunch of Japanese characters which was, you know, totally appropriate for its time and, uh, you know I probably think Sven was probably the bad version of trying to, like, give these characters divergent voices in the, uh, in Voltron.

LM: But yeah, I mean, we always knew that we wanted to feature, like, a diverse cast as much as we could. Yeah. For us, our story was always our story, and within that story we wanted to be able to feature as much diversity as possible.

JDS: We never made it, like, the focus. They were just characters that happened to be from different, different backgrounds, but, you know, the Earth that we had sort of conceptualized was kind of more of a united Earth where everything was blended anyway. So it wasn’t, you weren’t going to get, like, a ton of, like, accents or the sort of trademark, you know, things when shows are bringing in diverse characters. It was just like, “Yeah, that’s Lance! He’s Cuban. That’s Hunk.” You know what I mean?

LM: And a lot of those things we never even really mentioned in the show, they would maybe make a little reference to it, but I think people didn’t know Lance was Cuban until Jeremy went out and said it. And then people didn’t really know Hunk was Samoan until Tyler went out and said it. For us, it was just like, “These are our characters.” And we maybe had these ideas of who they were, but the show didn’t center around their ethnicity, the show centered around how they deal when they fight this war.

JDS: Right. It was more personality-centric than it was anything else.

DA: With that, because obviously it becomes very difficult in terms of, like, with diversity--especially in animation because it’s in its infancy almost in terms of branching out and also being able to represent different areas--was there ever a time where you thought you actually wanted to make it more explicit who they were and where they came from and their backgrounds to, sort of, just to make it more, kind of, like, obvious where they’d all come from? Or was it always just you were going to allow that-that breathing room, that space for people to kind of look at these characters and maybe take a piece of them to sort of represent themselves? Like was there more of, like, an openness that you wanted to take with that diversity or was there ever, like, specifically in your head that you wanted to try and say more about it but the story just didn’t allow?

JDS: Yeah, I mean, well, there was little cues, right? So there was, like, an episode where Lance sort of said he missed Veradero Beach, and like, he sort of, you know, we had like small little homages to it. I think, you know, for us the big one obviously was Shiro, and we had a different story planned for Shiro. And when we explained his backstory and-and, you know, we were showing he was, you know--this wasn’t ethnic diversity--but we were trying to have some representation with-with LGBTQ+, and that, you know, we might’ve been pushing a little too early, too soon, for where maybe the-the studio or the industry was-was comfortable at the time. Um, and so obviously we-we had to divert that story. But I think we didn’t want to put too much import on anyone’s ethnic background. We wanted them, we wanted people to be able to find what they found appealing purely based on-on-on character, on-on the content of the individual character’s character. So it was-it was vague, we-we, you know, and it wasn’t intentional, it just, it wasn’t a focus of ours to make it overly explicit that they were--you know, Keith. Nobody knows where Keith landed in terms of anything.

LM: Yeah. It’s always, it’s-it’s tricky because the thing that you risk I think by super nailing down a character, is you can make one group really happy, but then you can also exclude a lot of other groups. And we-we wanted to--we would’ve loved for everyone to be able to be represented but couldn’t have, like, a million characters in this show, like, with large talking roles to feel like everyone really got their due. So what you oftentimes have to do is realize you have to create these characters and hope that people can see themselves in them. And sometimes the more--I mean it even happens with story, and like some of our crazy space magic stuff: the more you nail it down and explain it, like, kind of, the more the magic is taken out of it. And I’m not--I don’t want to say that’s for every situation ever, I think, I hope that everyone gets explicit representation somewhere, somehow, and hopefully in the coming years there will be so much representation across the board that no one will ever feel left out because they’ll be able to see themselves somewhere. But this, you know, we just had one show and a limited amount of characters to do it in, and so I think we didn’t want to nail down every one character so specifically to make anyone feel like absolutely “you are not in this cast”.

JDS: Right.

MM: So, out of all the characters, who did you feel had the most obvious representation other than Shiro?

LM: Huh, I, uh, I guess I would just say, just, Lance because Jeremy said he was Cuban and everybody was like, “He’s Cuban!” You know, it was a celebration, but I mean beyond that I know, like, I think Pidge was, like--we wrote in the bible that she was Italian, but like, that was never really, like, a thing ever--and I don’t even know if I would fully categorize her as that.

JDS: I wouldn’t.

LM: Yeah, I think that we really didn’t super nail down much of anyone.

JDS: Yeah, I mean, we just, you know, just tried to create a cast of characters that visually you could tell were from different backgrounds.

LM: It’s tricky ‘cuz there’s just, there’s--sadly there’s a nasty part of fandom out there where people will say, “You can’t cosplay this character unless you are specifically, like, the exact look of that character.” And we just don’t-don’t always want to give fuel to that sort of fire.

JDS: We want everybody to be able to find something that they appreciate and that they can latch onto about the character of all our characters.

MM: Okay. Like, I was thinking, like, Ezor and Zethrid. They kinda looked like they ended up together.

JDS: Sure. Okay.

MM: Okay.

LM: Oh, you want to talk about that?

JDS: You know, we’ve sort of talked about it in-in the past. We’ve-we’ve talked about it in-depth in the past. There was specifically with LGBTQ representation, I think there was a line within the studio and within the industry as a whole when it comes to shows of this type, which are sort of, like, traditionally marketed to be, like, boys toys, action/adventure, 6-11, which are, like, kind of these-these buzzwords that-that go out when you’re creating these things, um, where, like, characters on the periphery are fair game to some extent.

LM: They’re less-scrutinized.

JDS: They’re less-scruti--yes, less-scrutinized.

LM: Especially in a, in a boys toys, uh, show, if they’re female characters, they’re definitely less-scrutinized.

JDS: There’s just less import put on them in terms of they’re gonna sell a million toys. Um, and that’s--

LM: That’s a sad reality.

JDS: That’s a sad reality. And one, I will say that on a positive note is changing. And I truly believe that, like, we’re entering an age with animation and IP, if you look at something like Overwatch--

MM: Right.

JDS: --you know, which we, again, we sort of used as, like, this, like, barometer when we were pitching out storylines to the executive branch and-and at that time it was like, “Well, that’s a video game, and that’s meant for teenagers,” and that’s--you know, they were looking for-for reasons for us to not to divert or to change course. And you know all-all within, like, from sort of a business perspective you can kind of see it through that lens and go like, “Okay, but I mean, guys, this isn’t really a big deal.”

MM: You just made a show for all ages, right?

JDS: We made a show for all ages, but we were broaching subject matter for, you know, for kids to sort of, like, you know, maybe think about. And that’s something that we hang our hat on, I mean we did it on Korra I think really, really well and I think Mike and Bryan were-were pioneers with that and-and-and taking an IP that allowed its audience to age up with it. So we were sort of hoping that the audience had been on for long enough that they were like, evolving along with the show. But, you know, maybe we pushed a little too hard too soon. I think Ezor and Zethrid were clearly not, you know, uh, characters that were, sort of, front and center enough for the studio to, uh, to have any worry about.

LM: They weren’t quite the characters that, I think, they were kind of hanging the franchise on, so, uh… And that-that’s the thing is like, you’ll get a lot more freedom with some kind of side characters than you will a lot of times with the main characters.

GT: Yeah.

JDS: Keep in mind, guys, like, the other reason, you know, that Shiro stuck around was because he was the soldier character that was meant to sell a ton of toys. So it was like, “You can’t kill this guy because he’s like our, he’s our Optimus Prime. He’s our Duke. He’s our, you know, Liono, he’s our main guy. He’s our, you know, He-Man.” And, you know, that’s from a business perspective, like, if you’re sort of, like, looking at this thing without any, like, sort of social structure around it, like, it’s-it’s an ugly truth that sort of presents itself. That’s, by the way, part of the reason we wanted to use him as, like, the leader that sort of, like, allows the other character to sort of fill that position and rise up. It be-it became a, uh, uh, a strong throughline for Keith’s character to live up to his potential, and we did that to some degree, but we had to adjust the story.

MM: Yeah, well you had them saving each other constantly throughout the course of the series.

JDS: Yep, and it was, hey, it was one of those changes we, like, think totally, like, helped the show, so it’s...

LM: Yeah, it’s part of the job.

JDS: It’s part of the process.

LM: When you get a change, like, you know, you don’t just just kinda stomp your feet and storm off, you just, you try to make the best story you can, so ultimately when we get the note “Shiro has to be in-in the show and--forever”, then we don’t just be like, “Well whatever, we’re just gonna write him out of these episodes and treat him like-like nothing.” No, we’re gonna find a way to make his story still very important to the show and we’re also going to find a way to not disservice Keith and just make him--I mean he could’ve been season 1 Keith the whole series, where he just barely does anything, but we didn’t wanna do that. We always had, um, you know these ideas of him rising to be more, and so how do we service both of those characters? And we just kinda had to roll with the punches and-and hope that we were able to do so in a satisfactory way.

DA: So was that a huge thing, like the-the perception from the, sort of, toy companies of him being, like, this really stereotypical macho, kind of, symbol? Was that a huge reason why you kind of started to subvert that? Or was that idea always in your head, or the back of your mind for what you wanted Shiro to be around the time when you found out, like, he wasn’t going to be leaving the show? Like, when did that shift and when did he start to shift into the character he then became further down the line in terms of, like, showing his disability representation, but also you know, the queer representation as well? When did you start to, like, try to fold that in to kind of, like, subvert that macho hero perspective?

JDS: Uh, I mean, you know, I think the subversion, that’s like an aspect of it. We-we absolutely, you know, sort of knew we wanted to work in, you know, queer representation into the show. It was just, for us it was a matter of when and we knew we had to, like, try to--I don’t know--ingratiate ourselves, make sure that we were doing the show that the studio was happy with before we broached it because we knew it was a big deal, uh, for the studio and kind of for this genre of show.

LM: Yeah, and-and specifically in this genre, like, there are things that I-I’d always hoped we’d be able to do with the show that I definitely didn’t put in the bible ‘cuz there’s this kind of unspoken rule where if you push too hard too fast, you’ll probably get a no. But if you prove to them that you can make them a good show, and then you ask for it, like, once you’ve proven yourself, there’s a better chance that you’re gonna get a yes.

JDS: Yeah, you’ve sorta got a track record behind you.

LM: And so, like, I had, you know, always had these ideas of like, what if this-this macho guy was actually queer? That was about the time when I came across the bury your gays trope and I realized, “Oh, that’s not something we wanna do.” I knew what we needed Shiro to do in the story--which was we needed him to kind of exit the story--and so it was like, “Okay, well, you know what, let’s not do the representation through Shiro, let’s find it in another character somewhere down the line. We’ll move forward with this story.” And so then when that--

JDS: And this is still when we were still under the assumption that Shiro was not going to be in the show.

LM: Yeah, this was literally, like, development before we were even full-time in-house at DreamWorks working on it.

MM: Mm-hm.

LM: When, you know, we come in, we’re working on the show, and then at some point we get, y-you know--

JDS: The mandate.

LM: The mandate that, like, he’s gonna stay alive and that’s when we started thinking, “Okay, well then, we can--some of the things we’d taken off the table we can actually do again.” So we weren’t necessarily working them in hardcore from season 1, but I mean you’ll notice that, you know, Shiro isn’t, like, wink-winky eyein’ at any ladies, he’s always just a very respectable man. We knew his, I guess his sexual orientation was not something that needed to be explored in the first season, so it left that door open to us.

JDS: But yeah, I mean, I-I think the important thing was that, like, even in our original pitch in which, you know, Adam wasn’t part of the Galaxy Garrison, and-and doesn’t die in Earth’s invasion and all that sort of thing, like, the idea was to show representation but not--i-it didn’t affect Shiro’s character in any way. He didn’t-he didn’t act any differently, he didn’t fall into any of the tropes that you would, you know, in shows like I had growing up, like, a show, like, you know, for instance like Three’s Company where it was like, “Oh, Jack Tripper is pretending to be a gay man, so anytime Mr. Roper comes up he’s acting super effeminate.” Not that there’s, you know, anything wrong with acting effeminate, but it was its own trope. Shiro was sort of, like, bucking-bucking that in our eyes.

DA: So with that, obviously, you know the story changed with Adam and Shiro from what you originally envisaged. When in the development stage, like, when did you get the go on that? Like, when did you get the yes? Was it when, like, was season 7 all wrapped? Was it already done? Was it already, like, in the show and then you had to, like--

JDS: Yes. Here’s the weird thing, right? So this is--I’m gonna give you a very, very loose sort of fast and dirty breakdown of how it went down. So, we had a pitch for Adam and Shiro. It made it all the way to, like, storyboards. It made it through premise, through script, through storyboards. It got storyboarded, it was like a day out from shipping. And then, you know, we got called into a conversation where we were told we couldn’t have Adam and Shiro in a relationship. So we’re sort of in this weird position where we’re like, “Okay, well, let us pitch you, like, a version where, like, maybe they’re not saying things that are so explicit,” and maybe, you know, we can adjust the dialogue. So we pitched that back, and that sort of got rejected again. And at that point we were a little confused because, you know, Overwatch was out, and-and Steven Universe was obviously taking off, so we were sort of pointing at those things and-and we were getting pushback because it was like, “Well, you guys aren’t creator-owned. This is a show that’s, you know, more boy-centric, like, 6-11.” And I know this, it-it sounds horrible, but these were the excuses that we were hearing back.

MM: But by that time you had known who your audience was, right?

JDS: You know, we did, but-but the marketing machine that’s behind a show, like, those millions of dollars are spent and are going in a certain direction. And for us to, like, and… they’re millions of dollars, like, so from a company perspective, like, we were making a show that was diverting from maybe its original purpose. And that’s me, you know, sort of just looking almost from the outside in as much as inside we were. That-that’s all we could sort of take away from it. So we were given-given, like, notes on how to revise the scene, we salvaged as much of the staging as we could, so like the original version had a lot of the staging the same, but they were in an apartment and not in the Galaxy Garrison lounge, and you know, Adam was changed to be like a flight partner and so, you know, make it very much like a Goose and Maverick relationship. That got produced. That got made, the entire season got made, and we were well into making season 8 when the door sort of squeaked back open, um, and at that point I want to say Shiro was at least in development. And I think--She-Ra not Shiro. She-Ra. She-Ra--within, uh, within the studio, and I think the studio was just, sort of, beginning to sort of open its eyes to-to the possibilities of there being representation in their shows and there not being a huge backlash, a huge public backlash, for it. So they said, “Hey, maybe you can revisit that scene.” Adam’s, you know, fate was already sealed at that point, unfortunately. And so we had this decision. Do we revise the dialogue and have some level of representation versus no level of representation? And we had to make that decision really quickly and we decided to do it, hoping that confirming a character, being able to say that publicly, would, you know, make some in-roads and at least open more doors in the future for shows of this kind. And you know, obviously things turned out the way they did. We were very aware of-of the trope of bury your gays, but we thought that this was, uh, uh, a more important step to take. I think, we’ve said it before, like, our biggest, you know, regret was going to Comic-Con and making--

LM: Yeah, we--and, though the problem is we worked in animation a long time. We’re very used to that idea of, like, some progress is progress, like, small steps, like, you know, like... I’ve been--I’ve been campaigning for, like, more female involvement. I got two ladies in a main cast of seven, that’s-that’s nowhere near equality, but I was doing, like, backflips because, you know, every--any other time it could’ve just been one token female. We’re used to kind of those baby steps and and taking what we can get and appreciating it. We can’t expect the public to understand that, and that was where we kind of lost sight. We thought, uh, our excitement w-would, you know, I guess, somehow--

JDS: Carry through.

LM: --carry through and-and I think it was kind of like a snap back to reality, for me for sure, just realizing, oh yeah, like, we’re the people who’ve been in, you know, like, the pitch-black room for five years, and then we get, like, one window cracked open. And then someone comes over and is like, “Why are you in this pitch-black room, this sucks.” We’re like, “No, no, no, that window that’s cracked open this is the greatest room ever!” Like, you know, it’s-it’s sadly we’ve been, I guess, a little… our views have been skewed.

JDS: But I-I-I would say this, too, that, like, if given the choice again, I-I d-I don’t know what the right answer is. Like, I wanna say we’d make the same decision again because it’s the choice of confirming a main hero character, or nothing at all, like, that’s kind of the position we found ourselves in.

LM: Yeah.

JDS: Obviously, guys, if we could learn from this, and, like, go into, like, Voltron 2.0, or go into, like, next show 2.0, the assumption is that you would-you would have that built into the character from the get-go, and you would-you could--everybody would be on the same page.

LM: Yeah. You would-you would get signatures so no one would change their minds.

JDS: Yeah, it wouldn’t be a thing that y-you sort of had to, like, wait to ingratiate yourself to the studio with, and all that. So--but I think, I think we’re getting to that place. I think the industry is getting to that place. It sucks for us personally that we had to take lumps along the way and we wish we could’ve done things better, but, um, and in our case--and in that situation--it was sort of like…

LM: Yeah, we made the only choice we had to make, and we hoped, uh, that it would mean something to someone.

JDS: Yeah.

MM: Alright, so, you guys had a lot to deal with there. You had a marketing machine that was marketing to a different audience. During the course of you working on the show, DreamWorks had been bought out by Comcast, so Universal became y-your parent company, right?

LM: Yeah.

JDS: Yup.

LM: Yeah.

MM: So there were things that happened that--there were deals that were already made through DreamWorks when it was just DreamWorks, and now there were changes being made as a result of Universal coming in. So there were a lot of hands in the till--I’m sure there were a lot of people that gave you notes during the course of production and everything--and you had to take it all into consideration and still come up with the story you wanted to tell.

JDS: Well, I mean that’s kind of the case on any show. I mean, this was a lot because we were such a product-driven show, but-but as a showrunner, when you’re working on existing IP, that’s kinda par for the course. This was another added layer on top of that, obviously, we were broaching subject matter which, like--again, in, like, Steven Universe, I think Rebecca’s said that she dealt with her own version of this and that was on a creator-driven show. And Korra was obviously able to broach the subject matter at the very, very end of the show, but that was not--that was not the understanding of the show, you know, while it was in production, that was something that happened at the very end. But again, we were in a-in a unique situation in that, like, you know, we were-we’re working on this IP that-that is, it’s not our thing. The other element that we had to contend with, you know, Lauren and I had this moment where we kinda, like, were like, “Is this something we, like, walk away from?” And that’s not really on the table either because we had a crew there. Because we had, honestly like, investment in the quality of the show that we made up to that point, and to sort of hand that over to somebody else, it was just--

LM: Yeah, it’s just a matter of, you know, there’s the obvious way where you ask for a thing and, you know, you don’t get it, you get mad, and you leave. But we’re, I think, just much more accustomed to just as-as professionals, you ask for a thing, you don’t get it, you try to make the best of what you’ve got and you find a way, like, I’m sure there’s a version where it’s so dire and so awful that it’s nothing near the show that you wanted it to be and then you-you walk away. But we felt like we could still send the correct messages. Like, even if, if we ended up with, like, a hard no, no representation situation, we could still at least try to send positive messages through the body of the show if it weren’t through an individual character’s representation.

JDS: Right. I-I think our-our big lesson, too, was, like, “go all in or go nothing at all”. Is that our takeaway from this, or, you know it was just a lot to learn from the entirety of the experience, so it was-it was a big stew. There was a lot of moving parts. And that’s not to take away from-from anybody being, like, hurt or even worse, you know, offended by, like, how things shook out. We’ve learned from everybody’s reactions on this subject matter in particular, but it was--that was the truth of our circumstance.

MM: Okay.

GT: When you guys, uh, were researching Voltron, I mean obviously the two of you had seen some of Voltron back in the day, but when you were researching this IP--which had been more or less dormant for quite a long time--how did you go about doing that, aside from watching the show? Did you, you know--for example, you know, the pilots’ uniforms didn’t match the colors of their lions. Was there some research involved in figuring out what was done back then and how you wanted to address it in the new show? Something like that?

LM: A lot of it we just kind of followed our gut. Like, we definitely, I know I watched the old show, I watched Beast King GoLion on Crunchyroll of all places and just got myself refamiliarized with the show. One of those things that was always kind of confusing to me was, like, the differences of the pilots’ uniforms. And we looked at, like, comics and-and other, kind of, shoot-off material that had been done for Voltron and they had, I think even Voltron Force, they kinda changed the colors of the outfits to match the lions, but you know, that was, I think just, you know, me, I know my personal opinion and, you know, Joaquim feel free to jump in if you have differing opinions.

JDS: I agreed with you ‘cuz we did it.

LM: We did it! Like, I, I had always imagined, like, I think because as a kid I had, I had attached the characters more to their colors than to their specific lions, and in my kid brain I didn’t even realize, like, I had to kind of relearn that, “Oh, the red guy’s in the black lion, not the red lion. And the blue guy’s in the red lion, not the blue lion.” Because I know the pink girl’s in the blue lion, because that’s the one thing I remember. And so, when I would see, like, the comics had changed their outfit colors, it always felt weird to me, ‘cuz I, I had identified those characters so strongly with their colors. And so we kinda came up with this storyline that ultimately, you know, we liked because it progressed the characters, it didn’t keep them--we didn’t wanna be the-the show that did everything kinda like, nothing ever changes, everything stays the same through the whole show. And so this idea of the characters starting in one lion and then progressing to the next, but keeping their, their original colors and then ultimately in my happy child nostalgia place getting us to the original, like, Voltron line-up was something that, I don’t know, I was really excited about.

JDS: Yeah, I mean it was, it was a cool way to sort of, like, you know back into the familiar for, like, old fans, um, but I think that’s the really unique thing about Voltron in general. It’s such, I mean you guys are-are well-versed in it, but for a-a vast majority I’d say of the fans that grew up watching it when they were kids, it’s this foggy show that you had, sort of these, like, big pillars that you could latch onto in terms of what you remembered about it, but putting all those things together didn’t always necessarily make sense, so… I mean I remember at some point even when we were, like, in the early days of, like, making the show, I made this huge, like, mistake talking about Shiro and Sven and it was... I remember both Lauren and Tim correcting me like, “No, dude that just wasn’t the case” and I was like, “Really?”

LM: Yeah, like, Joaquim at one point he was like, “What, Sven wasn’t in the black lion?”

JDS: And he wasn’t and it was like, “No,” and I was like, “Really?” And I’d already done the research and I’d somehow again sort of undone and gone back to what my child brain remembered.

LM: But yeah, I mean, even looking at that old art, when you look at Sven’s outfit, he has, like, the black outfit and he has this gold trim.

JDS: He’s got the gold trim, man!

LM: He feels like he should be the leader. But it’s like, he’s got that special gold trim that no one else has, but it’s just kind of a weird thing.

JDS: But he was also kind of emotionally, like--

LM: He was kind of like, you know--

JDS: --kind of the big brother. I don’t know.

LM: He was--Keith was your standard kinda 80’s hero/leader guy, but, I mean Sven was the one who, like, put his life on the line to protect Lance, and so he was always the guy that I respected a ton. And I just appreciated that character.

JDS: He’s just, he’s just--yeah, exactly.

GT: Yeah, that makes sense. And another example--and I’m not just listing that as, like, the thing, but another item--I mean, clearly Voltron’s design was revised. One thing that disappeared was the emblem on the-the chest with the cross, which you know, you know, there in GoLion, there is an implication that there may be some, uh, western cultural impact on the planet Altea just through some of the gestures in the earlier seasons wherein the presence of a church on the planet and things like that. Was the thought to revamp this design, was it just to give it its own, its own distinct look? Or was it, was it sort of looking, “Wow, what is this here for? Does this-does this symbol mean anything in this new version of Altea where these lions are made from a comet?” I mean, I-I’m just curious as to how some of that kind of stuff--not just the uniforms, not just the emblem, but those sorts of things--as you look at the old stuff going, “Hm, what can we use, what can we discard?” You know what I mean?

JDS: Well, I mean, I think there’s the want to avoid sort of, like, the-the inherent, sort of, religiosity of it all.

LM: Yeah, well, like a huge part of it is just as we’re creating this story, we’re making an Altea that Earth doesn’t know about so no Earth symbolism should really show up over there. We kind of had to just jump the shark with lions because we’re like, “How do they know what lions are?” I don’t know. Nobody knows.

JDS: Hey by the way--no--but we pitched an idea.

LM: Did we?

JDS: We did. Where, where, uh, we show Alfor on, like, his sojourn and it was like, we show Alfor on his sojourn to, like--

LM: I think we were trying to, like, have some sort of time-travel, or-or was it, like--

JDS: No, it was like we see Alfor doing cave paintings on Oriande or something like that--

LM: --like he saw cave paintings that were lions or something, I don’t know.

JDS: --but he saw the mythical creature on Oriande and that gave him the idea--

GT: The guardian?

JDS: --to make their likeness. But we also pitched a really bad version where it was, what was it? It was like, I forgot what it was, like they go to Earth and they see, they see a lion, a real lion, and they go like, “Oh my gosh! It’s a,” I don’t know, “it’s a mythical whatever whatever!” And they’re just like, “No that’s just a lion.”

LM: Yeah, I don’t know I just think--

MM: I’m glad it wasn’t five yelmores.

[laughter]

JDS: That’s right.

GT: Oh my.

LM: I tried to pitch like, the hoobajoob idea that the comets, they’re like lions with trailing manes and I think Tim just looked at me like I was on some hippie shit.

[laughter]

JDS: But a lot of that stuff, I will also say is just kind of the randomness of how, like, these shows were created back in the day. I don’t think any of the creators of the original Beast King GoLion put, you know there was obviously thought put into it, but I think sometimes it was like, “That’s just cool” or “that’s western iconography that we find appealing, let’s put it on there,” you know. A-and working within that or-or sort of figuring out what to keep and what to lose, you know, we lost Voltron’s lips ‘cuz it creeped us out, like, cool in the show. He looked kind of Egyptian, you know?

GT: Yeah.

JDS: So… yeah.

GT: Yeah, that makes sense. A-a-and you’ve just mentioned cave markings, which leads to another question I had which was a story point in the very first episode, or the first, the pilot showed that there were cave markings in the hiding spots of blue, yellow, and green lions at least, if not also red wherever the heck it was. But Keith had been studying the markings and-and they told stories about a blue lion and had clues about an arrival, and-and it seemed like that night might have been when the arrival had been foretold, and of course on that night Shiro crashes to Earth. So what were the thoughts about who made those cave markings and when?

JDS: Yeah, I mean, so this is where we get a little loosey-goosey. Um, but, you know, I think the idea at the time was, like, you know, civilizations rose up and fell around, around the lions and-and those were sort of the remnants of-of maybe, I don’t know, maybe somebody interfaced with the lion on some level and could, could figure it out? We-we kept it super loosey-goosey. The same thing that, like, the most loosey-goosey of it all was, like, going into Keith’s shack and the frequency lining up with the, with the formation of the rocks and the mountains. That was--

GT: Yes, Fraunhofer lines.

JDS: --none of that makes any sense. It was just visual tomfoolery.

LM: The long story short is we tried to work something in there, and then we got, like, focus-test notes that was like, “Kids are bored, make this scene shorter.”

JDS: Yeah.

LM: And then we cut out a ton of stuff and it ended up being like, “I got these vibes, and then you landed.” And then we never went back, a-and yeah.

JDS: We had, we had a kind of thorough explanation for, like--

LM: We tried. We did.

JDS: --but it was, even that was still loosey-goosey and anytime you’re putting, you know, a suspect board up and you’re tying things with-with red string, like, good luck. I don’t know. That’s all I got to say.

GT: That makes sense to me. [laughter] The answer is “because.”

JDS: Yeah.

LM: Yeah.

GT: That works, that works.

LM: I would’ve loved to be able to have everything figured out on, like, a Star Trek level, but I’m telling ya right here--

GT: I’m work-I’m working on that, Lauren. I’m really working on that.

JDS: Much in the same way that we had to work around the loosey-gooseyness of the original series, maybe somebody will have to take these things, these wacky ideas and just make sense of them.

LM: Yeah maybe someday, someone will, like, fix our mess up.

GT: Ah, you didn’t mess that stuff up. It’s fun stuff that just gets me thinking, worldbuilding and all that stuff.

DA: So, obviously when you went into the epilogue in season 8, I’m bringing it back to, like, the Shiro and Adam thing.

GT: Yeah.

DA: After the response to season 7 and then moving into season 8, when you did eventually get the sort of “go ahead” to move into the epilogue and show Shiro getting married, was there ever a consideration that potentially Adam may not have died? Was there ever a consideration that you could have brought him back, mostly because with the chaos of, like, the war when you got to, uh, was there ever in the back of your head a thought that you might be able to revisit that original storyline a-and bring that back too and end that way?

MM: Can I suggest something?

[The others make noises of assent.]

MM: Okay. You brought back Daibazaal and Altea, so if they could come back, couldn’t Adam come back?

LM: Well, I-I’m gonna an-answer Donya’s bit first, I think the-the issue that we ran into was we had basically made this whole story on Earth where, you know, it was, the whole story was made, kind of, without us really having access to, to that relationship. And so bringing Adam back when he was essentially killed off as a straight man, it was not something that we had any need to do during our time on Earth. And so I think to bring him back at the end would’ve--in our story minds--just kind of, uh, brought up those questions of where was he that whole time. You know, “Why-why didn’t he show up in the rebellion?” sort of deal. It just seemed like it was a pretty far jump to go.

JDS: I will say this, too, like, as much as the door squeaked open on how we could revise the dialogue between Shiro and Adam, you know, I think to, to speak to some-some of the fandom’s complaints even about that scene was that the dialogue wasn’t necessarily explicit even in our revision. And that was, you know, due to, like, what we could and couldn’t say, uh, between the two characters. So even though the door was open, um, it was, it was squeaked open, um, and by the time fan reactions started coming in we literally had, like, a month left at the studio. A-and this is-this is just, like, the sad truth of it. So when the studio realized that we’d all collectively stepped in-in a huge mess, you know, th-they put the ball in our court and said, “What do you want to do?” And we said, “We would love to be able to confirm on-screen a-and make it very explicit and, and also play to the fact that Shiro was able to find happiness and was able to sort of find that balance that, that even in the Adam and Shiro, uh, storyline he wasn’t able to kind of find.” So that’s how we, that’s how we arrived there, I think, to if we were to introduce Adam, it would have left… I don’t know. I’m thinking of it purely from a story perspective, like, we would’ve had to have an epilogue that almost ran an entire episode long to, sort of, see him survive the wreckage and then… I don’t know. I-I-I don’t know. I-It wasn’t, it wasn’t something that came to our heads. So to answer your question: no, we didn’t really think about it because in our brains Adam was-was gone.

LM: Yeah, and to answer your question, Marc, it--this was never directly featured in the show, but our-our kind of personal logic when we were making out that scene of Allura making the sacrifice and kind of rebirthing some of these planets. Our-our thought was she was able to, through, through her actions, give life back to any planets that had been taken, kinda, before their time. To give back to that land, that quintessence-kind of-formed landmasses. And so any planet that had, kind of, died because it lasted its life cycle didn’t come back, but Daibazaal met a premature death. Altea did, even Olkarion. Like those planets would come back, but we kind of drew the line at souls. She couldn’t necessarily bring back a lost soul. That just seemed a little too god-like for us.

MM: So did that include any planet that had its quintessence removed by the Komar?

LM: That includes the moose planet!

MM: Oh, wow!

JDS: Moose planet makes a comeback.

MM: Okay.

JDS: But none of that is to take away from, sort of, like, you know, the seriousness of-of the question that you asked, Donya, because you know, look even, even in crafting that epilogue, like, i-it was done at the end, it was done as an--as an appeal to this amazing fandom that we garnered over the course of the series that we knew was there from-from, especially from working on Korra, but we just didn’t know it was going to be--and I think the studio definitely didn’t know it was gonna be--so prominent. So, we wish, believe me, had our original story, sort of, been told the way we had initially, you know, conceived it with Adam, and he wasn’t shown dying in a-in a battle, you know. We’ve discussed where we could’ve taken that story, you know, with like Veronica returning with the rebels and then Adam being part of that and there being a reunion, but like, it’s like weirdly armchair-quarterbacking something. Some of that that never took place.

MM: Mm-hm.

JDS: So it’s tough for us to kind of reconcile those two things. There’s a ton we would’ve done differently had we been given the opportunity, but we tried to make the most of the opportunities that were given to us. And that’s kind of where we landed on that.

MM: I know you guys probably haven’t listened to our, our episodes, our podcasts, right?

LM: Um, not all of them.

MM: Okay.

JDS: Yeah. I definitely listened to some of the key ones.

LM: I’ve been off the grid for a little bit for the past few months, so, uh--

JDS: Yeah, we disappeared.

MM: Okay.

LM: Been trying to get some, uh, some house, house stuff done, so my internet has been on and off.

MM: Alright. In response to what happened with Allura, I had an idea that there was a concept that was established at the beginning of Beast King GoLion that there was this goddess or queen of the universe and I was thinking, you know, that Allura had made this sacrifice, had brought back all the realities, had brought back Daibazaal and Altea, and basically saved the universe. This sort of makes her, you know, on a new realm. She is sort of the keeper of the stars, the caretaker over all realities. And it seems like a role she would’ve assumed at the end there, especially since we saw the lions going to her silhouette. She basically risked everything to bring back all those realities. I was just wondering, when she said goodbye to Lance and he got those Altean markings, is it possible that she left a piece of herself on Lance so that if Voltron ever needed to return, she could return as well through leaving, like, a horcrux of herself on Lance?

JDS: Uh, I mean, horcrux is the first I--I don’t even know what that means.

LM: That’s a Harry Potter thing.

JDS: Oh. Okay. Sure.

MM: It’s that Harry Potter thing where Voldemort had split himself up into seven different objects and as long as at least one of those objects was still intact with the horcrux, then he could come back.

JDS: Cool.

LM: I like all of that, and I’m gonna say you need to pitch it to whoever makes the next Voltron.

JDS: Yeah. I think the big thing was that, was we were just trying to leave, you know, with, with as much as we wanted the sacrifice to resonate in terms of what it means to give yourself to a cause, I think that post-credit scene was very much that, was the door being left open to, you know, the symbols glowing, to Lance feeling a sense that Allura was out there, to the lions going out.

LM: That she was somehow speaking to him through the lions.

JDS: Yeah.

LM: And then the lions leaving to, you know, whatever reason. If it’s told them their job is done or if it’s to go do something else, and then ultimately we see them heading toward that Allura-shaped nebula. Like, I always kinda had the story in my head was that her quinessence was ultimately kind of reforming and coming back together and we don’t know how long it’ll take, but one day, ideally, Allura would be reborn and the lions would be there to pick her up.

JDS: And I’m gonna pitch this here for the first time.

LM: Okay.

MM: Okay.

JDS: The lions go to the nebula, they merge with the nebula, become a sort of vision-like Allura deity being that comes back and we’ve got a mega-robot Allura godlike supercomputer--

LM: Yeah, and then she is Space Angel, which I think is what you were trying to say.

JDS: Exactly, she becomes Space Angel.

MM: Okay. You guys also mentioned that you pitched an ending that might’ve included some of the main characters being killed off.

JDS: All of them.

MM: Yeah.

LM: Well, yeah, well, just in, you know, in that, uh, very Voltron-like teamwork scenario, we always liked that idea of that ultimately Voltron the robot was a weapon and that it was a very powerful weapon and that all--so much of this war was basically came about because of that weapon and Zarkon’s, you know, looking for that weapon, he wants this power back. And the idea of if they take that weapon off the table will the universe be a better place? And so in ultimately having to make the sacrifice that they would have to make, they would also be, you know, taking that weapon off the table. And honestly, like, in doing that, when you have all of the characters kind of exit at the same time, it just kind of leaves the door open for anyone with an imagination out there to immediately write them all right back into the story at any point if they just want to boink ‘em out of, you know, wherever it is we sent them.

JDS: Yeah, I’m thinking of Infinity War. Uh, but you know, I’m also--it, it’s funny, like as we talk about this stuff, and we sort of, like, make comments off the cuff and say, like, “Yeah at one point they were all gonna die,” that’s not to, like, take any of the import of what that means to, like, a fan watching it or people who’ve invested their time in the show. Literally, like, when we’re in the writer’s room, everything is on the table. Um, so we-we-we talk about, like, all options.

LM: Yeah.

MM: So there was, was there a happy ending option?

JDS: That, that was something--I mean I’m sure there was an option where it was like everybody lived and everything was happy a-and Lance and Allura had a baby, or, you know, whatever. We wanted to make a show that ultimately demonstrates that there are consequences. As fantastical as the show gets, as crazy as the show gets, that there are consequences and that sacrifice can be meaningful. So, I don’t know about you guys, but like, I know I’ve lost people that are very important to me in my life. The lessons they taught me live on through me and live on through my, my child now, like I pass those lessons onto my child. That’s an important message, you know, and that’s an important concept for people, I think--especially kids--t-to understand. It stinks to lose somebody, but it’s important to honor their memories.

MM: You solidified that pretty much in “Day 47”. One of your storyboard directors from Studio Mir, Seok Jin Jang, you paid tribute to him in “Day 47”. That was really cool.

LM: Yeah, yeah, we lost Seok Jin during the production, um, it was amazing, he actually got to work on every episode up until the very end and it was incredibly unfortunate that shortly after, you know, he finished storyboarding that last episode he was taken from us. And it-it affected us all pretty badly, and the directors specifically--because they had worked so closely with him--and he was just such a shining light of happiness and positivity. He was so unbelievably talented, that when we lost him we just felt like we’d-we’d lost something that we were never going to get back, and that, you know, the world had kind of been robbed of this amazing human being, but, you know, we don’t get to, to write that story, that’s life.

MM: Mm-hm.

LM: And so we could only do what we could do, which was move forward and hopefully pay him some sort of tribute and know that he lives on through the amazing, you know, work that he put into this show.

JDS: And I mean, he really did. Some of, some of the key moments that you remember from the show are directly, you know, his doing and his point of view on how the story would unfold visually.

MM: Mm-hm.

JDS: And honestly, his memory, like, it-it’s cliche to say it, but his memory, you know, can live on through the art because he affected the show and everybody who worked on it so positively.

MM: Right.

GT: That’s very cool. Obviously Voltron: Legendary Defender is very character-focused, moreso, I think, than the prior shows, certainly the original, where, you know, they always form Voltron, they always slash up the robeast, they win, end of story. It was very common. Uh, in this show, where we’re focusing very heavily on individual characters and the bonds that each Paladin has with his or her lion, was it hard to write scenes with Voltron itself, the robot?

LM: Well, yeah, I think you can see he-he didn’t come out unless we really needed him. Like, and he really only came out to kind of, like, fight things. Because ultimately, the robot hims--I say “himself” but it’s a robot--doesn’t have a personality, so there’s not really, like, character stuff to get from that robot. And, you know, it’s all about the pilots that are inside of it. And so, you know, we can definitely, like we know how to handle, like, those characters and to do those fight scenes inside of Voltron with those characters, but, but if we were just to make a show about a robot kinda running around, it, I think we would--it would be a struggle.

JDS: Yeah. And he’s, you know--ultimately he became the symbol of teamwork and so we-we tried to, like, set Voltron up as a symbol for the universe to kind of rally around. But yeah, I mean, you know. I wouldn’t say it’s tough, it’s just, it wasn’t--it didn’t become our fallback every single episode. We were more trying to tell, you know, character pieces. But, that’s also, y-you know, a path that can potentially get a bit divergent from the intent of, you know, where the show was originally being marketed towards.

GT: Oh, I see. Yeah, I was just, I was just curious because obviously, you know, you’ve got all these characters with all these character arcs, the main story arc, and all these different threads, and then, I-I mean in tha--in the context of that, I mean I’ve loved Voltron obviously since the original and all that, so you know, for me to say, you know, this sounds kind of silly, but i-in the context of the show being as deep as it often was, I just wonder if it felt sometimes like, “Oh, yeah, we better form the robot now.” [laughter] As a writer, you know what I mean?

JDS: There’s that, there’s other stuff that, you know, sadly as we were dealing with-with fallout from, like, disappointed fans over, you know, certain storylines not coming to pass, o-or things not happening, uh, from a character perspective the way they would want. Sometimes things like, you know, Voltron and the Atlas merging got totally lost in the noise of that and we--I will scream to the heavens to this day that, like, that was awesome. Like, they became a super-robot, like, come on people! Let’s give recognition to super-mega-ultra--

LM: Z-zenith, I mean, you haven’t used “zenith”.

JDS: Zenithtron. Yeah.

LM: But, uh, yeah, I mean we, we--at our hearts, they were more ships than they were characters, but we take great pride in our ships. We love the castle, we love the Atlas, and we love Voltron and the lions. The lions became, we kind of tried to make them into slightly more character-like with their abilities and--

JDS: Their personalities, yeah.

LM: --yeah, have personalities, but that was something that was-wasn’t, you know, in every other version of the show. That was something that we kind of threw in there for our show. And, uh, but we always try to respect it and love our ships as much as we could because we actually appreciate that stuff, too. We appreciate good design and interesting things and, like, you know, like, I frickin’ love the SDF-1 with all my heart.

GT: Oh, yeah.

LM: So, uh, you know, it-it definitely doesn’t talk and definitely doesn’t have a personality, but I appreciate whenever that ship is on the screen.

JDS: And it’s a symbol, it’s a strong symbol.

LM: Mm-hm.

GT: Mm, yeah. And I am totally enamored with the Castle of Lions. I love, love the original the original design, and I think I told Christine Bian when she was on the show that the Legendary Defender version is the only version since the original that I’ve absolutely fallen in love with. It’s just a gorgeous design.

JDS: Aw, that’s awesome.

LM: That’s amazing.

MM: I wish we could’ve had a Castle of Lions toy! [laughter]

LM: Yeah!

GT: Yeah.

[laughter]

GT: Back to consumer products. Give me a spaceship toy!

LM: Let’s get some LEGO Ideas people on that! But, uh, but yeah, there was always a concern, I think, in the consumer products side of like, how, how the scales would never match. You would have to make the Castle the size of a small building to make it actually to scale. But we’re not super sticklers on scale, I would gladly just had a really cool light-up, frickin’ sound-making Castle of Lions.

JDS: Just make it a ship. It’s a ship. It’s like a Star Destroyer. There are Star Destroyer toys out there.

LM: Yep.

MM: Yeah. That there are.

GT: Sure.

MM: Well, I’m curious about the release schedule of the different seasons. I mean, certainly the first 26 episodes came out 13 and 13, then the next 26 episodes came out in 6 and 7 episode batches, and then Netflix went back to 13. Do you know any reason why the, you know, the first change went to the smaller seasons and then why things went back to 13?

JDS: I don’t think we know the exact reasons other than, you know, it’s sort of emerging technology, streaming, especially at the time when we were still making the show, a-and and Netflix was trying to figure out who the audience actually was and all that. They were, they were just trying to play with different models, so…

LM: Yeah, a-and a lot of it’s just kinda trial and error and experimentation. I think they’d released some 13 episode seasons and I remember specifically them saying they wanted, kind of, they wanted, I think, more awareness of Voltron year-round, so if they could release episodes. There was even one-one pitch that we kind of chuckle about where they were like, “What if we release one episode every two weeks?” And we were just like, “That’s just like being on TV! What are we doing?”

JDS: Yeah, that’s just network TV, man!

LM: Like, this is streaming! The whole point is you can, like, release a batch. So, you know, they played around with it, it wasn’t ever anything that affected our production schedule. We were always just making these shows at a steady clip, and so we’d get a lot of questions about that, about, you know, “How did it affect production?” It never did. It was really just a matter of when they, kind of, chose to upload them to Netflix and in what numbers.

JDS: Yeah, it didn’t affect the production, but it affected us having to then choose, “Okay, well this feels kind of like a natural break time,” or “this feels kind of tent-poley” where you could leave on this moment, but they weren’t always the natural places we intended for.

LM: Yeah.

GT: Okay, that makes sense.

JDS: Yeah. But they-they’re figuring it out, man. I mean--

LM: Yeah. Clearly they figured something out, ‘cuz then they put us back to 13, so what’s up.

MM: Yeah.

[laughter]

MM: One thing I wanted to ask before you guys go is that there’s this petition out there that was signed by, like, over 30,000 people.

GT: Jesus.

MM: Uh, asking if there was going to be a-an alternate version of season 8. Is there such a thing?

LM: No.

JDS: No.

MM: Okay.

LM: Sorry, guys, we don’t have that kind of time or money.

JDS: Yeah.

MM: Right.

JDS: And you know, I mean, look. We made the best show that we could make under the circumstances given and, um, to serve an alternate ending, I’m guessing it would be to address, uh, Allura’s sacrifice and--

LM: Or Shiro.

JDS: --Shiro, or maybe, yeah, or maybe there’s-there was, like, the thing that you pitched, Marc, where maybe Allura undoes everything and everything resets. Er, I-I don’t know exactly what it would be. We heard all manner of--and again, Lauren and I tried to stay off of social media just-just to not deal with anything negative that was coming our way--like, we obviously heard people’s concerns, and took that very seriously, but we heard some conspiracy theories that there was an alternate cut and there was this, that, or the other. And I hate to burst any bubbles and this will probably only lend to more conspiracy theories, but there is no alternate cut to Voltron.

GT: That’s okay.

MM: There’s basically a Voltron version of the Kobayashi Maru, it’s-it’s an unwinnable scenario.

LM: Uh, pretty much. That’s pretty--we made the show that we believed in to the best of our ability, and you know--

JDS: And within the parameters given.

LM: --you can like it, you can not like it. And-and that’s it.

JDS: And that’s perfectly fine. There’s-there’s--that’s totally fine. Everybody can still get along in the world, and, you know. It’s all, it’s all good. We-w-we, we did what we could.

MM: We’ve been reviewing season 8 episodes. So in each of these podcasts we’re doing, we’re reviewing season 8 episodes and we’re finding that a lot more people, you know, like revisiting these episodes with us and some people, you know, talk about some things that-that maybe they didn’t agree with, but overall it seems like when you take it episode by episode, things are a little bit better than they had originally perceived.

LM: I mean that’s good to hear. I would hate for, like, one moment that someone disagrees with to, you know, I guess put a negative wash on everything because ultimately a lot of people worked really hard and put an awful lot of love into this show.

MM: Yes they did.

LM: I mean, that’s just kind of how--I mean that’s how we do it. We work hard, we try to make the best shows we can--that’s all we can do--and then we put them out for people to, to love or hate and to judge as they see fit. And that-that is up to them, and they are allowed to do it. But that’s kind of, that’s kind of where it stops.

MM: Yep. I gotta tell ya, out of all the Voltron versions, I like Voltron: Legendary Defender the best, so...

LM: Oh, that is high praise! Thank you very much!

JDS: Coming from an expert such as yourself.

MM: It’s based on my ideas that, uh, if I was to pitch another Voltron show I really would work off of Voltron: Legendary Defender’s characters because you built such an incredible universe, all these worlds, all these different, uh, types of, you know, alien races, and everything. Just an amazing thing, the Voltron Coalition, the Galra… Just… it’s very deep, very rich, and, uh, you know, thank you to y-your character designer, y-your props and background supervisors, and your color supervisors, your special effects and your sound people, and your music people, and all of your animators, and it’s just, wow. Incredible job.

JDS: Yeah. I mean, everybody came together to do, uh, I think something-something that hopefully, like, can-can be looked on in-in some years and people can-can still find appreciation and, and we’re just happy to have been a part of an awesome crew.

MM: Oh, definitely.

GT: Yeah, I want to second, I-I’m, I totally love Voltron: Legendary Defender, I mean I, you know for a-anyone to say they liked absolutely every aspect of any show, I can’t imagine that ever happening with any show. But I just love the show, it was, uh, i-it was very obviously made with a lot of love, a lot of talent, a lot of skill, and a lot of this found-family that we see in the show, in the fiction itself. So thank you both, and to everyone who worked with you bringing this show around, it’s just, it’s been a lot of fun.

LM: Awesome.

JDS: We appreciate it, yup. And you guys were totally paid to say that, so right back atcha.

[laughter]

GT: Oh yeah.

MM: Yeah, I don’t think people realize we don’t get paid for anything.

JDS: Yeah.

[laughter]

LM: Yeah.

GT: Donya, did you have anything you wanted to say?

DA: I mean I’ll just reiterate--

JDS: A-and Donya, if you want to end on a question, too, that’s fine as well, like--

DA: That’s okay, um, I mean I can always follow up with you on, like, anything, I feel like.

JDS: Alright.

DA: I don’t want to keep you too late. Um… [laughter] And you know how I get when I start asking questions.

JDS: Sure, rabbit hole.

DA: Yeah, basically. But yeah no, I do want to reiterate that because covering Voltron, and obviously I got on-board, like, on season 2 because I think when season 1 came out, I, I was, like, caught up in some stuff and I was away and basically didn’t pick up immediately, but it really has been almost a life-changing experience for me, as well. And I think without that, and without, like, everything that came with it, like I’d be in a really different place, I think, than I am right now. So it has been, like, such a huge part of my life for, like, the last few years and especially, like, quite formative in terms of, like, where I was because, like, I turned 30 as like it was coming to an end, or close to an end, and it just, like coincided with, like, this weird switch and change in my life, as well, and there are pieces I’ve written, like coinciding with the show that had, like, hit really emotional personal beats that are, like, that’s always going to be a part of my life now, so it’s just… yeah. I guess, just thank you for that because without it, I think the last two years of my life would have been very different. And there are people that I would’ve never met without it, like, you know, Marc and Greg included, you know--

GT: We love you, Donya, you are the best.

MM: Yeah.

DA: Yeah, I love you, too. Um, you know, there are people that I reconnected with in my life, friendships that I reforged that had sort of come back around because our paths crossed again because of Voltron. So, like, in, like, big ways and in little ways, like, it’s like, really altered, like, the course of my life in some ways. So it’s, uh, I’m always going to be very, very thankful to that and to, like, everything that you’ve done over the course of the show as well with, like, being so gracious with your time and everything with, like, when-when the show was still in development and, you know, talking to me, a-and even talking to Marc and Greg as well and everyone involved in covering the show, like, you gave so much of your time, even just outside of the production of the show just to talk through everything, so, yeah, thank you.

JDS: We appreciate you guys, and again, like, the show helps bring people together or has helped bring people together or forged new friendships, that’s like, the best case scenario for us.

LM: Absolutely.

JDS: If it’s made people feel good, if it’s made them learn things about themselves, then that’s all we can ask for, like, you know. Uh, that’s, like, the best reward.

LM: It really is, and on a completely, like, completely selfish note: I just like that you let us kind of talk about the stuff that goes into making the show, guys. I mean I know I’m a person who enjoys listening to the commentaries and listening to, like, the behind-the-scenes stuff, and so for any of the people out there that really enjoy that, you guys have-have gone out of your way to bring people who are involved in this show on and ask them questions about that and get some of that knowledge out there. A-and some of that stuff is just interesting to people.

MM: Yes.

JDS: And you guys do it because you love it.

MM: Yes we do.

JDS: And that, I think, is, is another thing that people really have to, like, appreciate. It’s done out of love because like you said, you guys aren’t seeing any--

LM: You don’t get any kickbacks.

MM: Nope.

JDS: Yeah, you’re not getting kickback.

DA: Yeah.

JDS: Uh, but it’s, uh, you know, without you guys a show like this could easily go unnoticed. But you guys, you know, you talk about it. You, you get people thinking about things, so, we appreciate ya.

GT: Thank you.

MM: You have no idea just how many people have been inspired to be better people as a result of this show. Th-there’s, you know, tons of artists who we spotlight that say they became better artists as a result of the inspiration of doing Voltron fanart. Cosplayers who became better cosplayers as a result of doing Voltron cosplay. Writers, you know, fanfiction writers and other types of writers that had, you know, gotten better at their craft as a result of working on Voltron fanfiction or something like that. So in many, many ways you have inspired people to be better and to come together in a way that they’ve never come together before.

JDS: That’s amazing. That’s… amazing. That’s, uh, something that we can take with us to the end, um, and, that we will, we’ll, you know. You don’t realize it sometimes when you’re in the thick of it, when you’re in the middle of it, but when you get a little perspective on things and you, sort of, take the long view, this is definitely a pillar of, uh, not only our careers, but, uh, of our lives and we can, you know, have an appreciation for everything you guys did and everything the fandom did, and everything the studio and our coworkers, yeah our crew, did. That, that will stand the test of time.

MM: Yeah. So thank you.

JDS: Thank you guys.

LM: Thank you.

GT: Thank you both so much.

MM: And can we ask you to do it just one more time?

JDS: Sure.

LM: [laughter] For sure. Hey, this is Lauren Montgomery.

JDS: Hey, this is Joaquim Dos Santos.

LM: And you’re listening to--

JDS and LM: Let’s Voltron!

[outro music]

[squirrelly831]

Cohosting [Kihyun, Hyungwon, Jooheon, and Changkyun]

Enjoy~~

Kihyun

Thalia was part of a hot new duo group with her friend, Queenie. As a new duo group, they received calls left and right due to their overnight fame. Thalia was sent to a radio talk show alone as Queenie went to a podcast. Divide and concur was their plan. They branched out and made connections fast as they made new celebrity friends.

However, there was one group Thalia wanted to meet desperately and that was Monsta X. She was a huge fan of their work and envied Kihyun and his angelic voice. She didn’t expect for her wish to come true so fast. Though it wasn’t all of Monsta X, she didn’t care. She was excited when her manager told her about a show the duo would be interviewed on with Kihyun.

On the show, Thalia did not expect Queenie to rat her out so fast when the host asked them about their role models in the industry. Queenie clapped her hands together, “At the moment, I really look up to Jay Park, but it was Zico who made me want to branch into music and really rap. My dream is is to collab with him if I could make it past the fangirling portion.” They all laughed at her honesty. Queenie wrapped her arm around Thalia, “And this one actually looks up to Kihyun.”

Thalia’s jaw dropped as she gently elbowed Queenie in the side, “Hey. don’t go saying something so embarrassing on air.” She rubbed her nose, a tell tale sign of her embarrassment. “She’s not wrong. I look up to different vocalists and Kihyun is definitely one of them”

The host grinned at the revelation, “What are your thoughts, Kihyun?”

Kihyun gave a small laugh, “I’m honored. I think it’s funny because I really like your singing, but I’ll be happy to give you some pointers whenever.”

She scratched the back of her neck and smiled, “Ah, that’d be great.”

After the segment, Kihyun would ask for if Thalia and Queenie had some time to get some coffee. Jay would decline as she wanted to get back to work on her mixtape and she left Thalia alone with Kihyun.

Hyungwon

Melly only knew of Hyungwon through her friendship with Minhyuk just as she only knew of the other members. Melly never knew the real reason why Minhyuk kept his friends from her, but Minhyuk worried of them stealing her attention. Especially since Hyungwon made comments in the past about her being cute and wanted to meet her, Minhyuk was against it. He knew Hyungwon would corrupt his angelic best friend.

However Minhyuk tried to keep Monsta X away from Melly, with her becoming a model and dancer to an agency, Minhyuk was finding it harder and harder to keep them away and one fateful day his attempt failed.

Hyungwon was asked to fill in on a music show and when he found out Melly was a mc on the show, he naturally agreed. It was the perfect moment to meet her.

When the two were introduced, Melly and him clicked almost immediately. Being around him was fun, they made jokes and easily slipped into conversation as they were backstage before the show. Minhyuk would text Melly constantly telling her not to fall for Hyungwon’s fake facade, but she soon turned off her phone.

By the end of the show, Melly met with the producer to discuss next week’s show. She looked up at Hyungwon who had been staring at her since they got off set. In embarrassment of getting caught, Hyungwon put the bottle he had in his hand and went to take a sip only to find the lid still on. Melly’s eyes twinkled in amusement as she covered her mouth to hide her laugh with a gentle cough.

After the discussion, Melly approached Hyungwon, “Hey” she greeted him shyly. He gave her a small wave still getting over his bottle incident. She smiled as she held out her phone, “Though Minhyuk will totally flip, can I have your number? Maybe we can get some coffee or something.”

“Yea” Hyungwon said almost immediately. “I’ll add you on my Kakao too.” Melly’s smile only brightened as she watched him take her phone and punch in his number.

So much for Minhyuk’s plan to keep them apart because after meeting Hyungwon, Melly was officially introduced to the rest of the members. Thought Minhyuk still tried to protect her from them.

Jooheon

Joy’s cousin was an idol in Starship Entertainment and he was close friends with Jooheon and Minhyuk from Monsta X. Joy was a huge fan of Jooheon and Changkyun due to her own love of rapping. Jooheon was her bias and her cousin would tease her that he knew him. Joy was just a freelance choreographer, so she worked with different groups and companies but she never worked with Starship.

When her cousin started his own late night radio show he decided that his first show would be special. He invited Jooheon, Changkyun, and Joy to the radio show. Joy was excited when she found out two rappers she liked were going to be on the same  radio show with her.

She was talking to her cousin in the waiting room when Jooheon and Changkyun walked in. Her cousin immediately got up from his seat and greeted the two men before he led them to the studio to show them around.

Jooheon searched the room until his eyes landed on Joy. She had stepped into the music lime light due to her r&b singles as she tried to step out of just dancing. He had admired her two songs. They told a story. A story that had him hanging on every word that would fill his ears. He looked forward to meeting her, but didn’t want to come off as some little fanboy, so with the help of his group members, he had a plan when he met Joy.

As he walked past her, he flashed her a peace sign, “Wassup?” He walked on as Changkyun made a point to stop.

Changkyun reached out to shake Joy’s hand, “Hey, nice to meet you.”Joy shook his hand with a smile as she greeted him back before he left her and followed Jooheon who fled to the studio in embarrassment.

Her cousin returned to fetch her and threw his arm around her as he laughed. “I bet you, he listened to Minhyuk on how he could greet you.” Joy let out a little laugh as she was guided to the studio.

After the show, Jooheon made it a point to properly introduce himself to her. He didn’t want her thinking he was some jerk especially since he knew she looked up to him.

Changkyun

Meghan was a popular Youtuber who was known for making covers of kpop songs and making her own choreography of different songs. One of her favorites was Monsta X. She gushed about them constantly when she did lives and whenever they released a new album, she was quick to make a cover or a choreography.

Due to her popularity, she was invited to mc for a 2 day kpop concert and perform one of her own covers which she quickly agreed.

The first day of the concert, she felt her heart racing. She had done small meets and performances, but today she would be out in front of hundreds of fandoms. She heard her name get called and she graced the stage. Her adrenaline heightened when she stepped on the stage and walked up to her mysterious co-host. As she got closer, she couldn’t hide her shock. She held her hand on her head as she stopped in her tracks, “No way!” She laughed in disbelief as she noticed Changkyun. The fans laughed and cheered at her genuine shocked reaction. Meghan walked up to him and they bowed in greeting.

“Hey, nice to meet you” he chuckled as he stared at her in disbelief. “Wow, I didn’t know you were going to be my co-host.”

She laughed, “Yea, same. No one told me either. I’m a huge fan.”

“You’re covers are some of my favorites to watch” he replied. After their small exchange, they went on to address the fans and rile them up for the day’s performances.

After the show, Meghan was headed out to her car when she heard someone call out to her. She turned back to see Changkyun rush up to her. He asked for her number to meet up sometime and naturally she agreed.

Part I

Credit to gif owners

Written & revamped by Squirrelly831

♕ REQUEST

☮ MONSTA X MASTERLIST

∞ ULTIMATE MASTERLIST

[clevercatchphrase]

You Monster Chpt. 32

You know what? I don’t really feel like cross posting my chapters to tumblr very much anymore since it’s such a hassle. The whole reason I did was to get more exposure, but I can’t really do that now with tumblr’s hatred of posts with links in them. I guess I will continue to post for the rest of this fic (since I only got, like, 5 chapters left), but I won’t link the chapters anymore since I would like for them to show up in the search, and from here on out any stories I write will be exclusively on AO3. Sorry to anyone who preferred reading my stories over here for what ever reason, but I just don’t want to deal with tumblr’s bs anymore :/

“Excellent work today, team! You were all beautiful, darlings!” Mettaton says, rolling into his trailer. “I’m going to take a quick one hour power nap to recharge! Everyone take a break yourselves! You’ve earned it! Please do not disturb me while I’m in sleep mode darlings!”

Once behind closed doors, the robot wastes no time getting ready to recharge. He opens a port and pulls out a USB on a long chord, attaches it to an adaptor and plugs into an outlet. Once situated, he retracts his arms and wheel and settles in his docking station.

As a robot, he had sleep mode, but didn’t exactly dream. Shutting down more or less was a lapse in consciousness--an instantaneous jump between being awake from one moment to the next without that pesky drowsiness or grogginess that organic beings had to suffer with. A highly preferable option in his opinion. Why waste time living out your dreams unconscious, when you could dream while being awake and make them come true while you were at it?

‘System updating. Please do not unplug your device or force shut down.’ Computer code says in the ones and zeroes on the inner side of his monitor screens. ‘Installing 1 out of 3105 updates…’

“Oh, for the love of…” Mettaton whispers. By the time the new updates finished installing his hour power nap would be over. Well, maybe sleep mode wouldn’t be as instantaneous as he thought…

There was a knock at the door. Normally Mettaton would have turned the intruder away for blatantly bothering him when he had made his demands clear not to, but since he was feeling generous (and since he knew he wouldn’t be getting any good rest for at least forty more minutes) he decides to let it pass just this once.

“Yes darling?” the robot says answering the door.

The monster that stands before him is stork like, yellow with legs as thin as twigs and skinny feathery arms. On its back was a huge postal bag overflowing with letters. “Special delivery for Mettaton!” the monster says, hefting the huge mail sack over its shoulders as it tries to keep its knees from buckling under the weight.

The robot’s speakers squeal with delight. “Fan mail? For me? Hand it over!”

Snatching the bag of mail away from the carrier and slaming the door in their face, Mettaton wheels back into his docking station, pulls out the first letter, tears it open and begins to read.

“Dear Mettaton; I love your shows!” it begins. “I am a HUGE fan of the boss monster kid who keeps showing up on your newest programs.” Ha ha, well of cour- what. “Please tell me you plan to keep them around! Your shows haven’t been this interesting since the controversial robot zombie survival show of yours!”

They like his shows... For the human? But… But he was supposed to be the main attraction! Well! No matter! That was just one letter! Tossing it aside, Mettaton reaches back in the bag and grabs another;

“Dear Mettaton, I love your new boss monster cohost!”

COHOST?! Why the insult! Mettaton, the number one star of the Underground would never share the spotlight with some… some underling! Dropping the letter on the floor, he pulls out another, and another after that, but all the fan mail says the same dreadful thing; ”The boss monster kid is adorable!” “Can you give this letter to them to let them know how much I love them?” “It’s nice to see you mix it up and bring in some fresh talent. The old programs were beginning to get stale.”

Oh, of all the insolent! Mettaton was always top billing! He wasn’t going to let some child take away HIS adoring fans! The brilliant red giant wasn’t about to be upstaged by some little white dwarf! By some… some human!

“No… no! This will not stand!” Mettaton mutters angrily to himself. Worked into a tizzy, he paces his room, rolling over all the discarded letters and leaving tracks in the rug. “I have to do something about this. I have to!” Rolling over to the phone, Mettaton picks up the receiver and hits the speed dial. “Hello, yes! There has been a change of plans! I need you to do an overhaul for the final showdown. I’ve made a last minute executive decision, and we’re going to end this finale a bit differently than anticipated. It’s time to break out the big guns…”

The massive hotel dawns on the horizon long before the royal scientist and boss monster child reach it.

“What’s that?” the human asks Alphys when the multistory sky scraper comes into view.

“OH, that? That’s the MTT-resort.” Alphys explains. “I-it use to be an apartment complex years back before Mettaton’s rise to fame, and…. W-well, anyway, there’s a couple elevators in there th-that should t-take us straight up to New Home.”

New Home. Just saying the two words sends a sharp pang in Alphys’ chest. Only now was the actual gravity of her situation starting to sink in, acutely reminding her what she’s doing to this child who relied on her, trusted her now. They’re both only one elevator ride away from the end, and yet here she is, passively letting it happen, not even attempting to dissuade her new friend from their inevitable fate.

But… but she’s doing no more than what she’s promised, hasn’t she? She agreed to help them get to New Home and nothing more, right? And delivering them straight to Asgore was what they wanted, yes? S-so, by that logic, trying to stall them, to keep them from the king would be hindering them, which was the opposite of helping, correct?

But… but does knowing they would be hurt and allowing it to happen considered helpful? If… if she continued to just let them go, fully aware of the consequences…

Alphys shakes her head in frustration. Slowing them down would hurt them and possibly ruin their trust in her… but letting them go would also hurt them in a way far worse. She didn’t want either but felt she had come too far to turn back now… but she would also never forgive herself if she didn’t at least try to deter them before their inescapable end. Now if only she could think of something clever enough to buy them some extra time.

The child gasps in awe when they breach the rise and they can truly take in the resort’s immense size. The building is built directly into the volcano’s wall; a stark contrast of a smooth perfectly geometric shape against the rough uneven mountainside, like someone had shoved a toy model into a mound of dirt. The hill they had climbed had only made it look closer than it was, but now at the top of the arc, the pathway winds back down before stopping off at a large flight of stairs.

The rest of the way is clear. With no more road blocks in sight, the kid can’t help but quicken their step. Alphys hastily speeds up her pace to keep up, keeping an eye out for any distraction to help chew up time and delay the worst. There’s a pair of monsters loitering outside the building. One is tall and green with a distinct reptilian form about her, while the other is short and round and purple with prominent cat features. They chat idly to one another, giggling in unison over some inside joke only they know, when the cat monster glances your way, does a double take, then frantically waves at the traveling pair.

“Bratty! Bratty look! They’re like, totally here! I told you they would come this way!” The cat monster says.

“Like, you’re totally right, Catty,” Bratty giggles, before casually joining Catty in waving the pair to come closer. “Heeey Alphys! Like, long time no see!”

“Oh my,” Alphys hesitates, her social awkwardness telling her to fight or flee. She blinks her panic aside and considers. This could be just the diversion she was looking for.

“Oh, do you know those guys?” the human asks.

“Y-yeah. B-Bratty and C-Catty. Th-they use to be my old neighbors.” Alphys states, trotting closer to them, and waving at the child to follow. “Uh, H-hey girls! H-how have you been?”

“Oh, same old, same old,” Catty giggles. “The economy still, like, totally sucks, and the Hotland populous vastly out numbers the amount of available jobs, so finding employment is, like, near impossible.”

“Pursuing higher education is now more of a risk than a necessity,” Bratty adds. “With no guarantee of job placement after graduation, you’re more likely to wind up in more debt than you would have just trying to apply without a degree.”

Alphys gives a little gasp. “Does that mean you two dropped out? Oh I’m so sorry to hear that guys.”

The caiman and cat monsters exchange a look and bust out laughing.

“L-O-L, Alphys!” Catty snorts. “You are, like, so hilarious!”

“W-what?”

“Yeah, girl,” Bratty explains. “You can’t, like, drop out of something you never joined.”

“Bratty and I skipped the whole school thing and just, like, started our own business!”

“R-really? That’s… great?” Alphys congratulates them with a bit of uncertainty.

“Yeah, it’s, like, greater than great,” Bratty says.

“It’s literally the BEST!” Catty adds.

“We’re like, actually doing pretty well for ourselves and we can actually afford rent for the MTT hotel!”

“Like, thank god for the free market economy or making a living here would be impossible unless you know someone already on the corporate ladder.”

“You don’t say!” Alphys smiles, genuinely happy for them. Crossing her arms, she settles back while the human reluctantly joins her at her side, doing their best to hide their impatience at the sudden detour. “What’s your secret?”

“Oh my god, Alphys!” Catty chuckles. “We can’t just, like, give away our business model!”

“Yeah, girl. We gotta, like, keep that trade secret close to the vest.” Bratty adds.

“Oh, I understand,” Alphys says. Bratty and Catty trade looks, their grins growing wider and threatening to burst.

“We just take all the junk we find in Waterfall and sell it!” Catty exclaims.

“We make a one hundred percent profit on everything we sell,” Bratty chuckles. “Mostly because we didn’t have to pay a single cent to get this stuff in the first place.”

“Yeah! And since, like, all the food and stuff is totally wicked expensive inside the resort, people constantly come to us for snacks instead!”

“It’s, like, the perfect set up.”

“It’s LITERAL junk food!”

Beside her, the child clears their throat and inconspicuously tries to signal for her to move on with a pleading smile. Not wanting to get on their bad side, Alphys caves at once. They’re both so close to their end goal, she can’t refuse them now.

“Well! I’m proud of you two!” Alphys says, politely trying to leave the conversation. “It looks like you’re both doing pretty well for yourselves. See you around!”

“Woah, woah, woah, Alphys! You can’t leave just yet!” Bratty says, sticking out an arm to cut off your retreat.

“Yeah, like, where are our manners!” Catty says. “We were, like, totally camping out here waiting for you to show up!”

“Y-you were?” Alphys asks nervously. “Why?”

“Because we haven’t heard from you in forever, girl! And suddenly you’re all over TV with Mettaton and this adorable little one.” Batty coos, bending down to pinch the human’s cheek. Reluctantly, they let her, not wanting to be rude.

“So, Alphys, are you gonna introduce your new friend to us?” Catty says.

“Oh, uh, um.” The royal scientist turns to them. “Bratty, Catty, th-this is-”

“I’m Chara,” The human cuts with practiced politeness to speed things along. They offer a hand to shake.

“Heeey there, you little cutie!” Bratty says, ignoring the hand completely and kneeling down on their level to ruffle their hair. “You were so great on TV! You’re like, the Underground’s newest superstar!”

“Oh! Oh! Tell us! What’s it like working with Mettaton? What’s he smell like? Is it true his glove hands are as soft as angora?” Catty asks, her eyes lighting up like stars.

Alphys can see them debate letting these girls know their true feelings on Mettaton, and how they thought he was a time waster and an annoyance above anything else, but even they couldn’t find it in their heart to crush the vision of their idol in their heads.

“He certainly is…. A hindrance,” the child says at last.

“Oh, yeah, totally.” Catty agrees. “His game shows are known to be, like, wicked tough with all the physical challenges.”

“So tell us all the details, girl!” Bratty demands, straightening back up to look at Alphys.

“Yeah! What’s it like working with Mettaton? Does he give you any discounts on his merch, since you, like, created him?” Catty asks, crowding closer.

“Do you think you can get us an Autograph from him?”

“Do you think you can get him to sign my face?”

“Do you think you can get us tickets to his next show?”

“I-it’s really not that glamorous,” Alphys shrugs, trying to put some space between her and the inquisitive monsters. Mettaton and I hardly hang out, s-since I’m always so busy working for the king. Soul research a-and what not.” She does her best not to look at the human, but thankfully they don’t seem to notice.

“Oooooh!” Bratty and Catty sing in unison.

“No wonder we haven’t seen you around!”

“Spending all your time with Asgore, I see!”

“How’ve you been working with the king?”

“Have you two gotten any closer?”

“W-w-what? N-n-no, it’s nothing like that!” Alphys says defensively. “H-h-he’s my boss!”

“Um, am I missing something here?” The human asks.

“Alphys here has the BIGGEST crush on King Asgore!” Catty says. “She used to tell us how she was going to date him when we were younger!”

“But, like, who can blame her?” Bratty says. “The king’s a total hottie.”

“A big, fuzzy, bara hottie!” Cattie adds.

“Alphys always wanted to work close to the king, so she like, totally made Mettaton to impress him-“

“And it totally worked. Now she gets to see lord fuzzy buns whenever she wants!”

“GAH! Will you guys stop?!” Alphys shouts, her scales turning a lovely shade of Embarrassment Pink. “A-a-after working with Asgore closely for the past few years, I was able to learn more about him and re-evaluate my feelings towards him!” she exclaims. “A-Asgore is a great guy, but he’s also my boss, and since I started working for him I realized my feelings towards him were only based on infatuation. I’ve since learned that he’s a great friend and coworker but not someone I’d want to be in a romantic relationship with. Besides, he’s not my type.”

“Is that so?” Bratty asks, teasing. “Well then what IS your type now, Alphys?”

“Th-that’s none of your concern!” Alphys says blushing.

“Wait, are you no longer into muscular guys?” Catty asks.

“Like, get real, Catty. Everyone knows that’s old news. Alphys is, like, totally into buff fish chicks now.”

“W-w-what? Who told you that?!” Alphys demands, her face growing from pink to bright red.

“From RG 02. He was here yesterday.”

“Impossible! That guard never reveals his secrets!”

“Aww, please don’t be mad, Alphys,” Bratty says apologetically. “You know we’re just messing with you. But if you got a crush on someone, you gotta tell them before life slips you by.”

“Yeah! That’s why I tell Bratty I love her every day!” Catty cheers.

“Aw, I love you too, girlfriend,” Bratty blushes.

“Th-that may be easy for you to do, but it would be pretty pointless for me,” Alphys murmurs. “Undyne’s great and all, but I know for a fact I’m not the kind of person she’s looking for either. Undyne probably wants someone who can keep up with her. You know, someone who can run twenty miles in two minutes or bench press ten times her own weight like she can.”

“But don’t you two, like, always have movie nights together?” Bratty asks.

“Y-yeah but that’s different! We have a common interest in anime, but not much else.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Alphys can see the human studying her strangely. They’re no longer hopping from foot to foot, anxiously waiting for her to wrap it up so they can keep going forward. Instead they’re looking at her quizzically, as if trying to decipher a riddle. They graciously don’t say anything, but now it’s Alphys’ who feels the desperate need to move on away from these two.

“W-well, we should really be on our way,” Alphys says, trying to side step the caiman and cat monsters. “It was n-nice catching up with you! You two take care!”

“Same to you, Alphys!” Catty says, waving farewell.

“And if you need any snacks you know where to find us!”

Alphys gently pushes the child along until they’re close enough that the hotel’s automatic doors let them both in. The royal scientist blinks several times as her eyes adjust to the blinding fluorescents that reflected off of nearly every surface in the foyer. The interior of the MTT hotel is bright with brilliant golds and dazzling amber fixtures and gilded trim, and everything her eyes laid on sparkled. Ugh, this place always gave her a headache.

Gentle xylophone and acoustic music floats on the air. The lobby is filled with lively chatter and in the center of the room is a giant fountain with a statue of Mettaton, gracefully spewing an arc of water. Perhaps the spray is a little too strong, or maybe the centerpiece is off balanced, but either way the arc of water is making a giant puddle on the floor. A dozen yellow wet floor signs mark the perimeter of the puddle, warning civilians of the slipping hazard. The smell of hot cooked food wafts from a café near the back.

“Oh man, look at the line for the elevator,” Alphys says in fake regret, pointing to the right at queue that snaked halfway around the hall. “Ah, figures. It’s rush hour right now. Everyone is leaving work from New Home and heading to the other regions and vice versa. We could be here a while.”

“So what do we do?” The child asks her.

“W-well, nothing to do but get in line and wait our turn.” The royal scientist shrugs. “It would be rude to cut to the front, wouldn’t it?”

The human reluctantly nods and joins her at the end of the line. They sigh in mild annoyance at this new hurdle, while Alphys secretly sighs in relief. This was perfect. The line could take hours to go down, and maybe by the time they reached the front it would be too late to visit the king, granting her at least one more day to figure out how to keep them from getting to New Home all together.

Maybe she could convince them to come back to her lab with her? No, this was a hotel, they’d probably just want to stay here. Perhaps she could get Mettaton to intervene again somehow? Unlikely. That robot was far too self-obsessed to help anyone unless it directly benefited him in the process. What if she went ahead of them and talked to Asgore first? Possibly… But what if things went wrong, and he decided to come out and look for them?

Minutes tick by and the line slowly inches its way forward, but they don’t move very far when Alphys hears a stomach rumble.

“W-was that you?” the yellow lizard asks, casting a glance back at her companion.

The human blushes. “Y-yeah, guess it’s close to dinner time, and those smells from the restaurant certainly aren’t helping.”

“Do… do you want to go get something to eat? It’ll b-be a while before we get to New Home.” Alphys asks, jerking her thumb towards the little burger shop. The human opens their mouth to argue, but the royal scientist interrupts, already knowing what they were going to say. “D-don’t worry about losing your place in line. I’ll st-stay here and hold it for you.”

The child hesitates for a moment, before flashing her a grateful smile, and darting off towards the burger emporium. Once out they’re out of her sight, Alphys lets out a quiet moan.

Oh, what was she to do?

You take up Alphys’ advice and head into the tiny restaurant. Inside there are a couple of plastic booths with a few patrons. The air smells like grease and salt, and behind the register is an orange… cat… hamster… bear monster. His smile is wide but his eyes look dead. You approach the counter cautiously.

“Welcome to the MTT-brand burger emporium, home of the glamburger. We’ve proudly sold over a hundred thousand burgers across the Underground! What can I do for you, o’ customer?”

You blink hard at the little speech. Although there is clearly pitch and timbre in his tone, the words sound rehearsed and lifeless, as if it was a recording that had been replayed on a loop too many times to count. His vacant stare and stressed expression concerns you more than your quest for food.

“Are… are you okay?” you ask him gently.

“I’m sorry, (ha ha) it’s against company policy for me to talk to customers who haven’t bought anything.” The cashier tells you.

Your eyes scan the menu items. Everything is exorbitantly priced. Scooping out your money from your pocket, you count your change. Two fifty pieces and two ten pieces. Just enough for one burger off the menu.

“I’ll take one glamburger please.”

You place all the money you have on the counter. The cashier swipes it away and hands you a small cardboard box festooned with purple plastic rhinestones. You take the box and hold it close to your chest, and look at the cashier again.

“Thanksy! Eight gold pieces is your change! Here you are! ” He says with false, but practiced enthusiasm. “Have a FABU-FUL day!”

“You can keep it,” you tell him. There wasn’t much, if anything, that you could get in the ruins for only eight gold. You push the change back over to the cashier. He looks at it wide eyes, and then to you.

“This is for me?” he says dreamily. “A… a tip?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I’ll need it anymore.”

The employee gently cradles the coins in his paws; still staring at it, disbelieving it was real. Suddenly his whole being begins to shake.

“Hey, are you alright?” you ask.

“No one’s ever given me a tip before… This is… this is the nicest thing anybody’s done for me all year!” He says. Looking up, you see his eyes are glossy with tears and his nose is running.

You look around the room. There’s no one else in line, so you dare to strike up a conversation.

“Seriously, are you okay?” you ask him again. This time the cashier blinks at you, and a spark of panic and confusion ignites behind his eyes when he realizes you’re still there.

“What? Why do you keep trying to talk to me?” he says in a harsh whisper behind clenched teeth, desperate to maintain his smile. His whole body begins to simultaneously shiver and sweat. “Why are you being so nice? I’ll get in trouble if I get chummy with the customers! I’ll probably get in trouble just for accepting this tip! Mettaton will fire me! Is that your aim? Is that your goal? Is that what you want?!”

“I’m sorry. You just… look a little stressed out.”

“A little?” The cashier repeats sardonically. “Little buddy, this place is anxiety incarnate, and all those unlucky enough to get a job here are destined to spend the rest of their natural born lives attending to a grease trap and having patrons yelling in their face, demanding I make changes to our business practices that are out of my control, and blaming ME as the problem and not the corporate tycoons! So I think it’s fair to say, I am more than just a little stressed out here!”

“I’m sorry,” you apologize again because you’re not sure what else to do. “I just… I wish I could do something to help.”

“There is something you can do, little buddy,” the cat monster says. “Run. Run away before they get you too. You don’t want to end up like me. Just look at me; I’m getting on in years. Nineteen good ones behind me. Wasted! I don’t know how much time I got left, but I just know the heads up top are already hunting for a replacement for me when I inevitably bite the dust.”

“I’m sorry, uh,” On the right pocket of his shirt, a name tag sticker reading ‘Hello! My name is:’ proudly adorns his right breast. The original name seems to have been crossed out with sharpie, and has been replaced with the title “Burgerpants” in thick black letters instead.

“Sorry… Burgerpants?” you say. “That’s a… unique name.”

“Don’t patronize me, kid,” Burgerpants says hollowly. He slumps over, depressed. “You and I both know that no loving parent would ever name their child something so degrading. Burgerpants is just a cruel nickname I’ve been blessed with.”

“Wow, that’s mean. How’d you get a nickname like that?”

“Well,” Burgerpants chuckles, straightening up. His whiplashing mood swings are starting to make your head spin. He smiles, pulling out a cigarette and lighter, and takes a long drag. “That’s actually a pretty good story with a good lesson at the end, but it’s kind of long. You don’t want to hear it.”

You turn around and spy Alphys through the café windows, still waiting in the line for the elevator. “I’ve got time to kill,” you tell Burgerpants.

“In that case little buddy, I’ve got a bit of life advise for you…”

You chat with Burgerpants on a myriad of topics, from never dating attractive people, to his aspirations on being a method actor, even to Mettaton’s business practices.

“It’s strange,” you tell Burgerpants. “I’ve had a couple of run-ins with Mettaton now, and he never struck me as the kind of guy to run a fast food restaurant.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been a minimum wage slave to him for months, and let me tell you, that robot will try his hand at anything to spread his image as far as he can. But! The good news is, little buddy, we just need to get one more human soul then I’ll be free from this actual cage of brimstone and hellfire. The only way to go is up! Literally!”

You chat a bit more, relieved to see the tension and stress slowly melt away from Burgerpants’ face, and only when you see an actual, genuine smile on his mouth do you consider your work done and decide to take your leave.

“Bye, Burgerpants! Take care!” you wave heading out the door.

“Take care, little buddy,” Burgerpants grins after you, taking another drag. “Come back anytime.”

Once you’re a good deal away from the little burger shop, you open the box to find a sandwich with a neon purple bun and vibrant purple patty. The whole thing sparkles like a geode from waterfall. Well. It certainly is pretty, you’ll say that. You dare to take a test bite, and force yourself to resist the urge to gag.

You have no idea what hamburgers are made of, but you are certain they’re not made out of plastic and paste. The patty is cold and bitter, with a thick consistency of congealed glue. You spit, spewing glitter, though half of it stays firmly coated on your tongue.

Sneering in disgust, you toss the burger in the trash, magically not hungry anymore, and return to Alphys' side. As far as you can tell, the line has moved a whole three inches since you left it.

“Oh! Y-you’re back!” Alphys perks up nervously upon your return.

“Did the line stop moving?” You ask in concern. “It hardly looks like you’ve moved at all.”

“W-w-well, that’s because I’ve got some terrible news,” Alphys says, her forehead running with sweat. “While y-you were gone an employee came by to say that the elevators have t-temporarily gone down for some unknown reason a-and they say it could take hours to fix.”

“Can you fix it?” You ask hopefully. “We’ve fixed the other elevators in Hotland.”

“I w-wish,” Alphys shakes her head. “B-but these elevators run on a different operating system out of my jurisdiction. I c-can’t interfere.”

“Well, there has to be another way, right?” You plead in desperation. You are so close to getting home, you can’t give up now, you flat out refuse to give up now. “A dumbwaiter? An emergency stair case? I’ll even climb a ladder if there is one!”

“I… I d-don’t…”

You gently take Alphys’ claws in your hands and look into her eyes. “Alphys, please tell me there’s another way. I’m so close to the king. I can’t turn back now.”

Alphys winces, but sighs in defeat.

“There is… one other elevator,” she admits. “I-it’s in the core and off limits to everyone except royal personnel, b-but I can get you to it…”

Hugging her tight, you whisper in her ear. “You’re a life saver, Alphys.”

Alphys flinches, but steps out of line and guides you to a non-descript door against one of the back walls. Thick red letters read “AUTHORISED MONSTERS ONLY” on smoky glass.

Alphys pulls out an identification card and swipes it through a reader on the side of the door. There’s a single beep! and a red light turns green. The handle clicks as it unlocks, Alphys opens the door, and you’re greeted with a vacant corridor and a strange, chilling breeze. Warm light from the hotel lobby spills in from behind, mixing with the cold blue light that waits for you up ahead.

“W-well. Nothing left but for us to tackle the Core now, huh?” Alphys says with a smile, though her voice sounds unenthusiastic.

You march forward, unafraid. Alphys dutifully follows you.

The hallway leads up to a single elevator that seems to be waiting for you, its door already open and beckoning you inside. The second you and the royal scientist board the lift the doors close behind you, trapping you in darkness. There’s a quick feeling of vertigo as the elevator starts to move on its own, and you feel yourself moving horizontally instead of vertically. The trip is so smooth, you can’t tell how fast you’re going, or even what direction after a while, but before the blackness that surrounds you begins to feel oppressive, the elevator comes to an air-cushioned stop and the doors part. The air around you smells so thick with ozone, that you can taste it on your tongue, and it crackles across your skin, making your arms tingle and hair stand on edge. The room smells sharp, like electricity.

All your senses are on high alert; all your nerves feel tense with energy. You shudder.

“You okay?” Alphys asks.

“Sorry. This room. It makes me feel… full of energy, but also on edge. Like something bad is about to happen.”

“Ah, th-that could be the effect of stray residual magic,” Alphys explains. “We’re right above the epicenter of the Core. Almost all of the m-magical energy the Underground uses is being processed right now beneath our feet. Th-this way. The last elevator to the capital is just through here…”

You follow Alphys through two imposing metal doors into a vacant room with a platform suspended over a pit in the middle. It’s uncomfortably dark in here, even more so than the elevator, and when you peer over the edge, you can’t see the bottom. You make your way forward, and only place one foot on the platform when you hear the doors slam behind you.

“W-what?” Alphys jumps, spinning around. “Why did that happen?”

There’s a loud ka-thunk, ka-thunk, ka-thunk! as six spot lights illuminate the platform, with one every familiar looking rectangle sitting in the middle.

“Well, well, well, darlings. I see you’ve finally made it to the Core.”

“M-M-Mettaton?!” Alphys stammers. “What’s the meaning of this!?”

“Yeah! I thought you said our previous encounter would be the last!” you add, that extra adrenaline in your veins making you itching to move.

“It was supposed to be, darling,” Mettaton explains. “But then the reviews come in and you know what they said?”

“They still didn’t do well?”

“On the contrary! They’re through the roof! They’re higher than they’ve ever been in my entire career!”

“But… but that’s a good thing?” Alphys points out. “If your shows are doing so well, why are you still trying to get in our way?”

“Yeah! You should be thanking us for improving your ratings! What’s your problem?” You shout.

“You’re right, darling. You are the one to thank. But!” Mettaton stretches up on his wheel, and extends one arm upward, his pointer finger high. With no words, he lets his arm fall forward in a half arc, until he’s pointing it right at you. “You’re also the problem.”

“That doesn’t make any sense! I participated in all your dumb shows! Against my will, even! Why are you blaming me?”

“It’s true! My shows are more popular than ever because of you! And when I asked my focus groups what their favorite parts were, the reports came back that YOU’RE popularity has far surpassed mine. (And that’s why you are to blame! No one’s popularity will out shine my own. I will be second rate to no one, and that is why I must now eliminate you!”

“D-d-don’t worry, we’ve beat him thrice before, can beat him one more time!” Alphys said, squaring up.

“Ah! Ah! Darling!” Mettaton says and snaps his fingers. “I’ve realized why all my other attempts at stopping you failed, and it’s because you had Alphys here to help you escape! But not anymore!” Without warning, lasers of blue magic shoot up from the floor around Alphys, trapping her in an inescapable cage. “Two against one isn’t’ fair! Besides, you’re not the one trying to out shine me!”

“Alphys!” you shout, and jump towards her cell.

“N-no! Don’t! I-if you touch the lasers, you’ll get zapped!” Alphys warns. “I’m fine! D-don’t worry about me! I won’t get hurt if I just stay still. B-but you’re gonna have to beat him on your own!”

“Well, darling! Looks like it’s time for your last curtain call! Prepare to be cancelled!” Mettaton raises his arms. His hands retract into his sleeves, and get replaced by circular saws that whine at a shrill, threatening pitch.

Without hesitation, the robot lunges forward towards you, and you barely have the reflexes to jump back in time. The spinning blades hit the ground with a shower of sparks as they slice two deep gouges into the floor. Oh god, this wasn’t some campy hoax for a tv show anymore, he really was trying to kill you this time!

“Mettaton! What are you doing?!” Alphys screams also recognizing the spike in the danger.

“There’s only room for one of us on the top of the chart, darling! Ta-ta!”

“A-Alphys! What do I do?” You desperately beg her, evading Mettaton for dear life.

“Uh! Uuuh!” Alphys panics, chewing her claws down to the beds. She suddenly straightens as if struck with an idea.“H-hey! Get behind him!” Alphys commands as you narrowly avoid another razor blade to the head. “There’s a switch on his back side! Get to it and flip it!”

Whirling blade in one hand, flame thrower for the other, you can’t afford to stay in once place for long. The flamethrower’s range forces you to keep moving while the circle saw doesn’t allow you to get close. Mettaton keeps their front to you at all times, giving you no opening to sneak around to his back side.

Taking a risk, you dash towards Alphys’ laser prison, the whirling blades hot on your heels. At the last moment, you feint to the left and run behind it, while Mettaton’s arm hits the cage at full force.

Detecting movement, the lasers react instantaneously, sending a paralyzing zap up the robot’s body, making him short circuit. You waste no time getting behind him where you find the alleged switch and forcefully slam it down.

For a moment, Mettaton freezes, then his screens go dark and his limbs flop to the ground as if they were made of limp pasta.

“Man, thank god that’s over,” you pant. “Now let’s see if we can get you out of that cage.”

“N-no! Don’t turn your back on him!” Alphys warns. “This isn’t over yet!”

“What do you mean? I turned him off, didn’t I?”

“Um, technically, no you didn’t.” Alphys says.

“Oh, foolish child,” A ghostly voice echoes in the still husk of the robot. “Do you think I could be defeated so easily?”

Terror creeping up your spine, you slowly turn back around and watch in petrified horror as Mettaton’s body rises up and begins to shake. His rivets rattle, steam hisses as it escapes between his plates, his screens flash white and red, and suddenly he’s transforming, his metal plates bending and folding back into itself like origami. His screens flip over as his top half widens and his wheel contracts only to be replaced with legs. His casing straightens, and on his black screen you see lines of white code scrolling past and you get the sinking feeling that the switch you just flipped is now executing a code you wish you hadn’t . The top of his chassis opens and from it sprouts a head. His arms brace himself on the floor, and then, with jerky movements, he stands up.

“That was just a warm up,” The newly transformed automaton says, tossing his head back and fixing you with a cold, robotic eye. “Now that you’ve flipped my switch, the real showdown will begin!”

“Alphys, what’s going on? I thought you said that switch turned him off!” the human hisses in her ear.

“I-In my defense, I never claimed it would do that!” Alphys says. “B-but this form of his is still a prototype! It’s a lot weaker than his other one, so you might have a chance at beating him!”

All around them, the air begins to thrum with a deep pulsing beat as if the bass had been amplified to the max, hijacking their heart and setting the tempo of their pulse. Spotlights flash in time with the beat, yellow, blue and green.

A fog machine sets the ambiance, carpeting the stage with a dramatic layer of mist. Over the sound of the music, Alphys hears an excited murmur of many voices, and as more spot lights come to life, it’s then she notices the grandstands bordering the arena, packed to the brim with spectators.

Cameramen sit on all corners of the stage to get every angle of the action, and the human cranes their head up and spot a giant flat screen broadcasting every one of their movements, a hundred times bigger than life for the audience to see.

“This is it, darling!” Mettaton says, running one hand through his newly formed synthetic hair and striking a dramatic pose. “The ultimate show to once and for all decide who deserves the title of the Underground’s top superstar!”

“I- I don’t want to fight for the title! You can just have it!” The human declares, though their voice shaky and uncertain.

“Fight? Heaven forbid!” Mettaton says. “That’s no way to settle an argument! We’re going to duke this out my way! With a charity dance off!”

“Charity… dance off?”

“Yes! A charity is for the promotion of underprivileged robots! Right now we are being broadcasted live across the Underground! Thousands are tuning in and are making pledges to the dancer they think is better! The first one to reach the goal of one hundred thousand gold in donations will be declared the victor! And the other shall be shunned from the lime light indefinitely! There’s only one rule in this competition!”

“What?” The human dares to ask.

“Dance… or DIE!”

“Y-you can do it!” Alphys urges. “I believe in you! Plus, you don’t really h-have any other choice!”

“I-I can’t!” The human argues. “I don’t know how to dance!”

“Th-that doesn’t matter! Mettaton’s not as energy efficient in this form! If you can just hold out long enough, his batteries will wear down enough for you to escape!”

“But what do I do?”

“A-anything! Copy him, do a twirl, strike a pose! J-just fake it long enough until he shuts down!”

The human looks unsure, but they nod, trusting her, then step up to the plate.

“Excellent, darling!” Mettaton says when he sees them ready to face him. As if on cue, the music begins to pick up in a snappish beat, reverberating in their bones. “Let the dance off begin!”

Confetti cannons explode to emphasize his point. Spotlights dance and the crowds roar.

Mettaton approaches the human, marching to the beat of the music. Behind him a screen lowers from the ceiling, and illuminates a bar graph with two columns. Under one is Mettaton’s face and under the other, the human’s in a cartoonishly drawn caricature. A line marking the 100k goal lights up near the top. He stops a ways off, tosses back his hair and blows a kiss to the camera.

The crowds roar and Mettaton’s bar stretches up just a bit.

The human’s head turns towards one of the giant TV screens zoomed in on Mettaton’s face, before the camera switches to them and they find they’re looking at their own clueless expression enhanced for the viewers.

Straightening up, the human does their best to copy the pose, but they lack the grace and confidence Mettaton has, and the attempt looks clumsy. Weak claps of encouragement are drawn from the stands. Their donation bar raises only one line of pixels out of pity donations.

Smirking in satisfaction, Mettaton does a sophisticated two step, bringing his arms into the mix. The human is desperately trying to keep up, when out of nowhere, the robot does a swinging high kick and nails them in the back, sending the kid flying across the stage where they land in a crumpled heap. His donation bar jumps to the 2k goal.

“Ow! I though you said f-fighting was beneath you!” the kid protests.

“Fighting? This isn’t fighting darling! It is the art of the dance, sweetheart! Keep pace or perish!”

Mettaton lunges at them, pointy boot aimed for their center. Abandoning all attempts at dancing, the kid springs forward like a frog to dodge out of the way. They turn their momentum into a summersault and skid into a freestyle stop.

The crowd goes wild at the maneuver, and their donation bar jumps to a thousand gold.

“Hey! They liked that!” Alphys shouts from the side lines. “K-keep doing more moves like that!”

The human nods once, short and sharp, and pushes themselves to their feet.

Sneering, Mettaton twirls toward them like a ballerina, and tries to strike them with a coordinated hand and foot.

The human responds with a chasse, casually sliding out of the way as the robot spins past.

The crowd gasps at such beautiful timing, and such expert evasion. Both donation bars rise, but they’re now neck and neck.

The human finishes their move by adding insult to injury by bowing as Mettaton misses.

The robot eyes the scoreboard with contempt, before forcing a murderous smile at their dance partner.

“Oh, finally figured out how this works? Very well, darling! Let’s see you dance past this!”

The robot busts out into flamenco, chasing the kid around the stage and trying to stomp on them like a bug. The human responds with an evasive tango, snapping their fingers for good measure when they strike a pose.

The crowd screams at the show, and the human’s donation bar pulls into the lead. Mettaton’s jaw dropped in disbelief. No… No! The little show stopper couldn’t best him! He had to be number one!

If Mettaton was holding back before, he certainly pulled out all the stops now, but the human was quick and light on their feet, and the longer they dance, the better the kid gets at predicting his moves and patterns, making it harder for him to hit them. And once they can comfortably evade him with ease, they start to break out every dance move they know. They did the bunny hop crossed with the Macarena and a square dance all at once. The audience howls and claps with laughter. Mettaton fumes when he sees them clutching their bellies and wiping away tears. Phone lines can be heard ringing off the hook as callers flood the lines with their incoming donations and pledges, and bets on the winner, twenty to one with the little scene stealer in favor.

Pushing on, Mettaton pushes all his circuits to the limit, dishing out as much fancy foot work as he can to every camera all at once, but the tiny show stopper just cartwheels around him, well out of his reach. Well then! If he couldn’t trip them up with his dance moves, then he could trip them up with words!

“Darling, allow me to let you in on a little secret!” He shouts over the booming music. “You remember all our encounters up until now? They were all STAGED! A collaboration between Dr. Alphys and I!”

The little show stealer shoots him a sarcastic look that says they think he’s lying through their teeth. And why should they believe him? As far as they’re aware, Alphys had been helping them this entire time.

“Why you may ask?” Mettaton filled in for them when he sees their unmoved glare. “Good question! Alphys was honest for the most part- I admit wanted to steal your face to pull in the views, but do you know why she went along with it? Because she wanted to STUDY you!”

“Mettaton! Please d-don’t!” Alphys shouts from her prison, and the little show stopper stumbles, picking up on her unease.

Together Mettaton and the human dance with increasing fervor, and despite being opposing forces, there is nothing but grace in their impromptu choreography as each side dodges and strikes all while sticking to the rhythm, yet the more Mettaton speaks, the more uncertain the human’s steps become.

They were listening to him, doubtful he was telling the truth, but unsure if he was lying either.

“Alphys used you like another one of her test subjects! Another one of her lab rats! Why? Because you’re-!”

A fire bell rings signaling the 50k mile stone had been reached, but it’s not Mettaton who has reached it first; it’s the little white dwarf who’s passed the mile marker, practically making steam whistle out his perfectly welded ears.

No longer in the mood for games, Mettaton took a swing to their front, and the kid bent themselves backward is if being assaulted by a limbo stick before prancing away out of range.

Doubling down on his efforts, Mettaton threw all his focus into his dance moves, but the little show stopper always seemed to stay two steps ahead of him. When he did the salsa, they did the samba, when he waltzed, they did the swing, when he tap-danced, they quickstepped, when he hustled, they shuffled, and the crowd couldn’t get enough of it.

Sometimes the human would get cocky, striking a taunting pose after each of his failed hit, but viewers who couldn’t stand impertinence tasted sweet justice the few times Mettaton did manage to land a blow. But nevertheless the human didn’t falter. For every knockback they took, they’d stand taller and dance harder, and the crowds went nuts at their passion.

The robot craned his neck toward the score board and his vision went red. Not once had the kid tried to throw their own punches at him, and the few times he had managed to land a hit, his pledges increased, but they were getting down to the wire now. With both of them less than five thousand gold away from their goal.

Mettaton felt his internal battery beep. An alert flashed across the back of his eyes in computer code. “Battery capacity at 50%. Please dock to recharge, or switch into power saving mode.”

“No! Not yet!” he though frantically, and selected the second option without giving it much thought. He had to win, dammit!

“Power saving mode initiated. Rerouting power from superior lateral appendages… Detaching extremities.”

Wait- detaching what???

“Wait! No, I changed my mind!” But the command was given too late. With a sharp pop and a puff of smoke, the robot’s arms fell from their sockets.

“Ah! M-my arms!”

The crowd gasps. Alphys covers her mouth in shock and even the human looks alarmed, worried and wondering if they accidentally hurt you without noticing.

Desperate to save face, Mettaton scoffs to play it off. “W-well! Uh… who needs arms to dance anyway? With legs like these, I’m still going to win!”

And to prove his point, Mettaton launches into an armless kazatsky. In his head, the alerts continued to buzz, warning him of his battery was critically low and that his system was in danger of overheating, but he pushed on, ignoring the cautions and landing in the splits to finish. Beside him the human also started to show signs of fatigue. Knowing they both couldn’t keep this up much longer, they straighten up to make their last stand.

“Mettaton!” the kid huffs, sweat running down their nose. “Ready for my final move?”

It’s a rhetorical question and he knows it, but before he even has a chance to insert something witty, the little show stopper twists their torso and throws themself into a spin. They twirl and they twirl, pulling in their arms tight, and then squatting down low before stretching out on their side with a wink and finger gun.

“Ha! Break dancing?” Mettaton scoffs. “That’s for street performers! Anyone can do it! Watch!”

Kicking off one foot, Mettaton spun and spun into a pirouette, picking up speed. Using his internal gears he pushed himself to keep spinning. His motor revved until it whined and on the outside he was nothing but a blur.

“Warning! Battery at 12%!” His internal computer voice cautions. “Initiation power saving mode phase two;”

“Phase two??”

“Rerouting power from inferior lateral appendages-”

“Wait, don’t!”

“-Detaching extremities.”

And with little warning to onlookers, Mettaton’s legs come flying off. The one he was balanced on spills out from beneath him while the other one gets launched towards the stage lights, leaving Mettaton to fall hard on his back, completely incapacitated, and forced to stare up at the heels of his opponent’s glorious finishing move. The metal projectile explodes into the lights like a missile, sending down a shower of sparks. The little scene stealer strikes one last triumphant pose against the background of fireworks and the audience completely loses it.

The show stopper’s donation bar hits the goal then just keeps going, steadily climbing to the 110, 120, and even 130k mark before slowing down as bouquets of flowers and rose petals rain down from the audience.

Despite not having lungs to breathe, Mettaton takes a breather, allowing the crowd to cheer themselves out while his internal fan cools down his processers.

“Well, darling,” he says on his microphone once the audience had quieted. “It looks like you’ve proven your worth. You really are deserving of the title of the Underground’s number one star. I guess my time has come then.”

“No, don’t say that,” the little white dwarf says. “Just ‘cause you lost doesn’t mean you have to give up being an entertainer, much less die.”

Mettaton eyes the human with a look of bemusement and gentle affection. This little human. This curiously, amazing little show stopper, breathless and battered still urging him to stick to his dream?

“My, darling you really are something else.” Mettaton sighs. “I have no plans to quit the life of Show Bizz, but… if I am being honest with myself… today you made me see just how amazing and surprisingly fun having a co-star could be. I’ve never had this much excitement or attention from my adoring fans in months! From here on out I might even consider expanding my casting call to include more monsters than just me to play all the parts. Thank you, darling, for bringing me down a peg and knocking some sense into me. And thank you all my beautiful, fabulous, glorious watchers! You’ve been an amazing audience!”

Through some remote control in his Wi-Fi, Mettaton cuts the power. The lights go out and the lasers from Alphys’ cage click off.

“Mettaton!” Alphys yells, rushing over to her invention’s side. “Mettaton! Speak to me!”

“Alphys, darling,” Mettaton says. “Sorry for being so mean to you all day. You and your little protégé here really didn’t deserve it.”

“Mettaton, shh. Please, save your battery.”

“Your little friend here… they really are something, aren’t they Alphys?”

“They sure are, Mettaton.”

“It’s such a shame,” the robot sighs. “That you’ll be going soon. After your display here today? I could never have dreamed of a better dance partner. I wish I could have gotten to know you better instead of just using you on each of my sets. What a wasted opportunity… but you know what they say, a white dwarf is destined to go super nova.”

“Oh, Mettaton,” Alphys sighs sadly. “That’s not a saying.”

“Shh, darling. You’re ruining the moment.”

“Alphys is he going to be okay?” the human asks.

“I’ll be fine darling, though you may want to get me to a docking station as promptly as you can. My battery has been crying at me the whole shoe to recharge, and I think it’s time I started listening to it. I might go into emergency shut down mode at any minute, and if I do, my RAM might get wiped. If that happens, I won’t remember anything that’s happened today, which won’t be ideal... I could go back to trying to destroy you.”

“GAH! That’s not good!” Alphys interjects. “There’s a lot of code on your prototype body I haven’t had the chance to back up yet! I-if you shut down now I could lose months of work!”

Alphys looks the human hesitantly. Her face isn’t expectant or pleading, but the human knows what question is on her mind.

“Do you need help carrying him back to the lab?” They ask for her.

“OhmygodifyouwouldbesokindIwouldloveyouforever!” She says without taking a breath or a pause, clasping her hands together and bowing her head. “I know we are literally feet away from the last elevator to the capital, but this is really really important to me, and I would be in your debt forever.”

“Alphys,” the human interrupts her by placing a hand on her shoulder, and says eight words that would have sounded utterly ridiculous out of context, had anyone walked in at that exact moment.

“You get the torso,” the kid smiles warmly. “I’ll get his limbs.”

[trustafarian-theserialfiction]

“trustafarian” part 18: the big rockabilly wedding in the woods June 28, 2016 4:22pm

“And—oh, OH!  This REMINDS ME,” Bruce looked epiphany-struck and Dan waited in anticipation, heading to his room down the ladder. Mouse looked sleepy and annoyed from the couch. After sleeping off the big stonerfest around the start of what felt like summer, there'd been a blur of parties around town and smoking on the back balcony with Bruce if they were both up. Mouse had just woken up and was annoyed by the noise but Dan was well inured from the afternoon he'd spent being cohost in Mouse's place. Mouse had other parties to go to and was off schedule with Bruce for once.  “Dude, DUDES,” Bruce shouted out from the kitchen to the audience he'd gathered, “my sister’s getting married!  DAN, you’ve gotta come to my fam’s place for this, my parents’ parties are balls-out amazing, and weddings are when the funfetti hits the motherfreakin’ FAN. Hey for real, Mom and Dad said I should bring the entire Maison fam to meet the bio-fam—the whole kit, caboodle, fuckin’ everyone.”  Dan shot a look at Mouse. “I have already R-S-V-P’d,” Mouse said, enunciating. “Oh-my-what dude, it’ll be so fun.  You’ve gotta come, I’d invite all the loyals if I could but it's her circus.  I’d’ve given you more of a head’s-up and asked for a track or something but it’s like, they’re kinda ultra rockabilly.  It’s a rockabilly wedding,” he laughed. “Should be a hoot.”  Dan felt himself smiling.  A great big rockabilly wedding in the middle of Manitoba.  The heat from the airless second floor was oppressive and he resolved with himself to do some mixing while he waited for mouse to vacate the nap station. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dan made some pants he’d found in an alley last week into an extra pair of cut-offs, and stuffed them along with some t-shirts and found tank tops into an old featureless backpack he’d found in the perverse cellar.  They’d leave this evening, arrive in two or three days, and the wedding was in five days. It was a warm, sultry night of a striking kind that he'd never encountered in Vic. There was a haze of Bruce's pre-leaving weed vape saturating the air above him like a fog, and jungle playing. Outside traffic echoed through the cracked window and he decided against worrying about shutting it. There was no rain upcoming according to the weather for Ontario and Manitoba both, and if it did and any got in probably it would stop and dry immediately, he predicted. He didn't know the leaving plan, just the leaving when and who.  Dan wasn’t sure of the reason for the night-time departure, but Bruce’d asked everyone to assemble in the common space at 2 a.m.   With ten minutes to spare, Dan climbed into the living room and was greeted by the populace of Maison Rockkoku. “The bus is out front, it’s all tuned up and running.” That answered how.  Bruce was texting quickly, friscolating with pleased excitement—understandably, with everyone in the house agreed and assembled to attend a blow-out wedding at his family’s weed farm.  Andre hadn’t been willing to take work off to be Bruce's plus one and Andreah had told Dan off for asking her, and their absences felt not-uncomfortable, but this occurred only vaguely to Dan, who had been staring at Pete since emerging from the second floor. There was some phenomenally mole-like air about Pete today, which Dan would’ve expected if he’d thought about it.  He had thick Buddy Holly glasses, he was completely washed out like he'd been inside since the spit party, and his black hair was hanging in filthy clumps in the most extreme gravity-defying reverse mullet Dan had seen him with.  He looked as ghastly and haunted as a cartoon of a guy working on his PhD alone in his room for over a year, might.  Dan decided against prying about it when Pete glared his way. “Whose place did you have it at, again?” Jean-Paul studied his nails after asking, his summerwear impeccable and inasmuch very funny to Dan; he was wearing transparently-expensive black jeans he’d made into cut-offs, with thin-strapped flip-flops and a very fine cotton tee, hanging from the plunging v-neck of which were some

fancy-looking shades. It was too much. He looked like a billboard ad of a sporty beachgoth. Dan took it for his lakeshore look.  Next to him, where he leaned against the couch, was a perfectly plain black canvas duffle; what an accessorizer.  Bruce was perched atop the half-pipe, vaporizing gleefully in an ancient hyper-colour shirt, hair pompadouring under his wraparounds. “Oh, Rose-Marie’s, she’s got that little side-alley off the driveway that she doesn’t use, right?” Dan wondered if Jean-Paul had met Rose-Marie, or whether he’d already known the Maison had a tour bus. It was probably a burning man transport or something. Probably whoever Rose-Marie was she'd been using it as a guesthouse.  He was still watching Pete, who occasionally glanced back impassively from where he was leaning at the kitchen island, eating a cucumber as if he did things like eating where people could see him every day as opposed to twice a year. Occasionally he’d swipe the cucumber through a small dish of something dark and clear.  Mouse sat in the little white chair next to the couch, reading with his usual faux-bland air of contained intensity.  “Well, everyone’s here and so is our transportation,” said Jean-Paul, crossing his arms loosely.  He peered up at Bruce expectantly. “Hey, whoa, I’ve got like, six whole minutes here,” Bruce jumped down from the half-pipe though, and cleaned the volcano’s mouthpiece. He then disappeared down the hall and emerged moments later with a sand-coloured rucksack into which he was stuffing a shirt and a bag of weed approximate in dimensions to a throw-pillow.  Dan saw Pete roll his eyes and smile.  It seemed like a lot and his thought was it was backup weed in case they got stuck or needed to trade for a ride to a gas station or something. Bruce looked jubilantly over at Dan and then Pete and said “dudes you’re gonna fuckin’ looove the shit my Dad grows—but I figure like, roadtrip, right?  Plus he’d wanna try this, it’s completely bombass and he’s super down on hydro so it’s like a, a…’dude you’re gonna looove this shit’ teachable moment thing.” Dan was somewhat relieved that it wouldn’t be an issue of smoking just with Bruce while Jean-Paul was around being sniffy.  Jean-Paul was giving off an air of total nonchalance though, utterly lacking in judgemental vibes as he waited, now standing upright with duffle in hand, expectantly. Dan was glad he wasn't so wound up, himself.  Mouse put his book down spine-up on the couch and stood up, apparently bringing nothing. Dan guessed he got carsick. They all trooped downstairs and were greeted on the street immediately in front of the building by an ancient-looking school bus, painted bright pink.  To Dan’s surprise, although he realized he might have assumed someone needed to drive it over, there was someone hanging out of the window; someone with stringy bleached hair, beetle shades, and a purple straw cowboy hat on. “G’day SLOWPOKES,” said the person hanging out of the window.  The bus was parked on the wrong side, facing incoming traffic. The street was deserted. No wonder Jean-Paul had been a stress case, no wonder they were driving at this hour. “Have you met Alice?” asked Jean-Paul from Dan’s side. “No…I don’t think so…” he hadn't. “Alice lives on the roof.”  Jean-Paul sounded amused. “Where’s ‘the roof,’” Dan asked, feeling odd, like he knew this. That sounded like a punk house name for somewhere above Eglinton. “Our roof.  She’s a housemate of yours. I knew you didn't know," Jean-Paul sounded pleased to be right and somehow also like he was indicting someone. Bruce bounced around, bopping parts of the bus that didn't appear to be gauged by bopping. “I totally mentioned Alice! I think!”  He shrugged. “My bad!”  Mouse sighed and took Jean-Paul and Pete’s duffels, carrying them around the front of the bus to the open door. Dan looked up at Alice and Pete followed Mouse. Jean-Paul said “hello gorgeous,” to Alice.  Alice tipped her purple cowboy hat and grinned, Cheshire. “Have you met the bus yet?” Jean-Paul asked Dan.

Dan shook his head no, slowly. He guessed Jean-Paul thought that he might've gone to a festival up north with Bruce and Alice recently but he'd stayed home and pouted about a call from his sisters instead. They didn't think what he was doing counted as meaningful work. “HER NAME’S LA-VENDAH,” shout-talked Alice, slapping the side of the pink bus below her window. Alice looked like Jean-Paul’s sister might, if Jean-Paul had a  stubbly sister who did a lot of speed, but also lifted weights and hit the lakeshore to tan more regularly. “So…have you been living on the roof…” “SINCE 2010!” “Alice usually over-winters in the metal…construction on the third floor,” supplied Jean-Paul, still sounding amused.  Dan suddenly remembered the winter, and the 2nd floor cellar door to the garden being jammed, and even something about, there was a door in Bruce’s room. And about the little nap shack thing. “You—" don't look very transitioned he almost heard himself say out loud. Then he realized he had heard it out loud. Jean-Paul had clapped a hand to his forehead and looked pinched. "Sorry, it's 2 in the morning, my brain isn't in gear," he sincerely apologized. This was the kind of thing Bruce and Jean-Paul had specifically been worried about, he realized. "Get in the damn bus and I'll explain black market estrogen availability to you," she told him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A few hours later he was still talking to Alice. She drove like a maniac and claimed that was the only way to drive the bus. On the highway it didn't matter much how unwieldy it was, but it handled like a bathtub and even as nondriver he could tell Alice was basically qualified to make the claims about it that she had. After Dan'd learned more about prescriptions and what got provincial coverage and how to get it covered and why that was difficult, they had been talking about her client pool and how one of them were funding breast augmentation when she was relying on hormone-based naturals growing in, which she was actually delaying in order to keep being marketable to the ones who liked her to look like she did now and dress girly for them in private. She insisted that augmentation was a matter of semantics and there was nothing to worry about, when he'd asked about her business model and long term plans from the perspective of, are your clients safe to string along. None of them were particularly lucrative or hospitable from the sounds of it but she seemed determined to make light of everything and insisted that at the rate they were paying expenses including hormone pickups, she was the one being strung along. "Were you stuck on the roof all winter?" He felt he'd been lead to believe she had options. Like sleeping inside in the living room.  "What the fuck?”  Alice laughed, half giggle. “I’ve got a house there.  It was so freaking WARM this year!” “Alice decided to spend a year in hermitage after that eighteen degree day last December,” said Jean-Paul.  “I go up to visit a few times a week, make sure she’s eating and alive.” “Brucey an’ Andre like to check in on me too, bring up soup, blah blah.” Alice was staring at the road through her tinted sunglasses. She seemed to think more explanation was required.  “It's honestly fine with a space heater. The stairs go down to the back garden, right, so when I need food I come out at three a.m. and take on the gritty city’s dumpsters at my leisure. It fucking ROCKS dude, I totally Dick Perneikkie it," she held a hand out, indicating wide open space, "alooone in the ashphalt wilderness, minus fly-ins from my friends.” “If Dick Poernickie also happened to wash up at the occasional party,” Jean-Paul added. Alice pursed her lips, looking sort of impish and smug in the rearview. Pete and Mouse were asleep on a bench seat apiece behind them closer to the back of the bus and Bruce had headphones on, playing some game on his new smartphone, probably something turnbased that Toichiro was also playing, far away.  “So you’re taking a break from being a mostly-hermit to drive a giant

pink bus named--"

"Lavender," Jean-Paul interrupted. "You're not Australian," he mentioned to Alice. She looked outraged.

"It's the line!" He had some sense that he should know what the line was from because they both did.

"Whatever--Lavender--a break from being a hermitess," she looked consoled "to partybus driver out to a rockabilly wedding at Bruce’s parent’s pot farm in Manitoba,” Dan asked and stated, wanting just to say it. “SHOULD BE A HOOT!” Alice hollered, throwing up her wiry arms. They were back down with her hands on the wheel before any swerve of the bus. She was wearing a tie-dye crushed velvet t-shirt, it gleamed iridescent pastel aqua and purple in the dim light from the road.  Dan guessed Alice was echoing him from days back because Bruce had quoted him to her. Maybe he'd used that expression some afternoon on the podcast, he mused it over. Her outfit almost seemed thematic. Mostly Bruce and he talked about parties they'd gone to together and Dan found himself a defacto live music reviewer from being dragged places and then asked followup questions about the time he'd had. But the trip had been obliquely mentioned. Had he said hoot again? He suddenly wished he’d known-known Alice lived on the roof—in retrospect, having ignored her and now relying on her driving, he’d really have liked to visit, see what was new, catch the view from the roof.  Figure out if she had a license and whether he trusted it to meaningfully gauge her fitness to drive. Not to mention the general sense he now had of the weird charm of knowing this hyperactive alien was rattling around up there. “Should be,” he nodded slowly. "Nice work getting out of the junction, by the way," he meant her parking spot had been a hoot. Alice grinned again and said “fuck the pigs,’” The interior of the bus was decorated with various hangings, a couple strings of prayer flags, and at the front, a disco ball. On Alice drove.  Dan was basically relieved about their success so far; in spite of Alice's good cheer, dealing with cops was stressful even if he hadn’t technically been the one to break the law and wouldn’t feel particularly at a loss if he missed this wedding.  He really didn't want to see police clashing with anyone, let alone their driver, who seemed determined to clash with anything that presented itself. Dan could tell she was having lots of fun with alarming him. He wondered if she was as cavalier about her wellbeing as it seemed and prayed quickly to the stars that they made it there and back safe. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hours later he'd gotten somehow deeply into the topic of Alice's philosophy about living on a roof and hustling fetishists. "So a chaos mage does what, create chaos?" "Nooo, I mean maybe sometimes, but anything does, in its own way. A chaos mage calls on a vast sort of material and immeasurable continuum of like, quantum theory's strings or something--god mindstuff--to like, grant wishes and stuff. Normal things mostly, like a spell to find a book or whatever. To not have leaks. You have to balance asking and giving and expect balance to come regardless, if you don't expect it that's when you shouldn't mess with chaos." "Okay so its praying? And the god you ask for help is like, a nebula or something," Dan knew he sounded facetious and was trying not to but he liked Alice better when she was driving, and not taking a break (doing ketamine with Bruce at a truck stop). "So if I pray to chaos to bring us less chaos," he started his brain teaser but Alice smiled triumphantly. "Exactly, go ahead. But you might find yourself agonizingly bored, as agonizing as the stress of engine trouble. But yeah, ask for less chaos, except its more like, you do rituals to petition different forces within chaos or you pray to some signifyer or aspect of it--if you're going to pray. So pick your name I guess. I pray to different aspects of The Goddess because I personify the whole system that way. And I think she likes it." ~~~~~~~~~ The addition of a new person to his Maisoniverse wasn’t unpleasant per se, but it was throwing him off. He wasn’t now able to picture the same dynamics that were his best case and then likely case scenario, for the trip (neither of which had been objectionable, so he’d been

tentatively excited).  He had no idea how this was going to go overall. They were back on the road and Alice seemed to be driving the same and the bus seemed to be running smoothly. He'd seen it and imagined a series of breakdowns, no longer wondering why they'd planned to take days when the map he'd checked said it was a 23 hour drive. Bruce handed him a menthol-flavoured joint over the seatback. “Yo it’s from one of the casties, mango-somethinorother.  It’s totally a hashplant haze derivative, dude, so head-high.  He sent it to Andre but she’s all weed-abstinent right now.  Anydoodle, you like, can’t really hit a fruity tasting note or whatever—or I can’t—but it’s furry and yellow as fuck,” he concluded.  “I rolled with mentholatamated papes in honour of Jeeper-Peeper, the smokeless smoker,” Bruce nodded to Jean-Paul, who as-cued hoisted his toned-yet-near-tanlessly-white arm to show off several nicotine patches. “For the kids,” he said. “So you don’t get can-sker stuck in my coolboy fumebox.” “But Alice is smoking,” Dan notified him.  Alice had lit up and was hauling away at a Belmont with both hands on the wheel, taking a corner wide. “I’M THE DRIVER, MOTHERFUCKER. I DO WHAT I WANT,” shouted back Alice. "I was more trying to tell him to go for it than wondering why you were giving me can-sker," he repeated the idiomatic pronunciation memetically, thinking about diabeetus. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Through the sunrise they drove, the view of them ‘boxing the bus obscured by trippy batiks and one cloth Iron Maiden hanging.  Dan felt remarkably buzzed and realized after some time that it must be that the sativa didn't interfere with his natural adrenaline high.  He’d always suspected that strain-talk was pretty much bullshit but the more he internalized by osmosis the more he thought in the same pattern. It seemed to matter more what state he’d been in before smoking, but he could still play the strain game and explain it that way to himself. He’d been feeling caught-off-guard and was now totally engaged and talkative. Alice wanted to talk about his ex so he coughed up whatever answered her questions about the relationship. Jean-Paul curled up and fell asleep, around the time Pete and Mouse wake-and-baked and--after hearing Dan and Alice--joined Bruce singing along to the radio (Alice insisted on radio rather than the tapes in the milk-crate behind his seat). Hearing the three of them sing along to the Cranberries was eerie. It was beautiful outside, sunny as a memory.  After Alice got bored of quizzing him, Dan moved to an unobscured window nearer to the back, and watched the summery world pass by.  He listened to some Beach Boys, and thought about chillwave, and surf rock, and how to build a dubstep-inflected centre with cooling tropicalia, and how to capture summer, and how to make people feel good, and how to make people feel like moving.  How to distil the desired action from a sound; how to lead a dancer to dance.  How to lead a crowd to move together, how to dismantle inertia.  After a while he went up to hang out behind Alice and pick through the tapes. Bruce dolled him out his ninth joint, they were keeping score (Bruce had been smoking three joints at a time the entire day, like he was determined to arrive weed-light. There were some Alice in Chains tapes, and it got Dan thinking about Alice’s name, after he thought vaguely about whose bus the bus was and who had decorated it and what, in all, it had been used for. “She was dating this girl,” interrupted Bruce with storytellers gravity, after Dan tried to re-engage her by asking if Alice was her legal name already. “I was dating this warrior,” corrected Alice, and Bruce ceded the story.  “for like ten years,” Dan saw her look back at him in the rearview.  “I’m like, 33.”  Dan could sort of see it. Alice acted roughly seventeen-going-on-ageless-going-on-eight-going-on-too-old.  “And we were y’know, always at war.  She was super at-war.  Anyway

people-were-always-asking-if-her-name-was-Alice-cause-they’d-mishear-her-say-‘Alex’-which-is-also-MY-name-so-I’d-be-like-no-I’M-Alice-she’s-ALEX” she recited.  Alex, both the name and the warrior, had come unstuck from Alice, and she’d gone to live on Maison Rokkoku’s roof.  Made sense. They stopped late afternoon at a rest stop outside Thunder Bay and Alice slept until well after sundown. Dan woke up with the Lavender mystery tour underway again, and watched the sunrise spread out from behind them over the highway. By noon that day, they were there.  A house on a hill with a big yellow field belonging to someone else on one side, a big yellow field belonging to some other someone else on the other side, and a field of corn and slightly-shorter weed stretching out behind it in an emerald cape spilling down the slope of the hill behind the house. They were somewhere in the middle of a vast lake-filled rural nowhereland. The big bungalow didn't have any kind of hippie commune Villa Villacoola vibe and Dan was disappointed. A covert house of all sorts, he realized. There was a bleached and gnarled rootball at the foot of the driveway, with address numbers bolted in.  Dan looked down at it through the window of the bus as they passed it, and was amused by the incongruity of driftwood in landlocked farmcountry. It was the only thing in sight that was artificially decorative in any way. Bruce’s family had a contingent assembled out front on some porch furniture, under windchimes and a wisteria vine. The voyagers piled out onto the gravel lack of lawn obligingly when the bus door opened, with a woman who turned out to be Bruce’s mother coming out of the house drying her hands on her utilikilt.  It was only obvious that she might not be a very mountain-climbing-weathered thirty-something by the abundance of surrounding twenty-and-thirty somethings.  She looked like she should be heading a militia, although she was quite short; sort of like a leathery Twiggy going through a Bruce Lee phase.  She gave them all painfully tight hugs and rustled Bruce’s hair with both hands, hauling his head back and forth through the air between them.  “MY LITTLE CITYBOY” she yelled.  Dan looked at her and at Alice, who was grinning and looked delighted and hyper, and wondered if Bruce hooked up with Alice, and thought how Freudian.  Then he wondered, not for the first time since the start of the trip, and sort of by force of habit by now, whether Andre or Jean-Paul hooked up with Alice. She had more history with them than the others, it seemed. She and Mouse had been living together a long time and seemed tacitly avoidant of one another, but he wasn't sure why. There were various introductions and reunions, with Alice appearing to be a treasured prodigal. She called Bruce's mom "mom." There were too many regular siblings on the home team to keep track of; Dan couldn’t remember all the names, and Bruce started handing out trees from his bag even before they encountered his father. Dan was swerved a bit by the biker vibe of Bruce's dad when he did appear, looking sort of like a tougher, leatherier Oliver Platt.  There was tremendous activity everywhere—people engaged in various tasks and projects, conversations ranging in liveliness filling most every corner of the house.  At night there was an abundance of food available in the kitchen, including a huge pot of boiled corncobs.   Bruce looked deliriously happy and satisfied all the time, around his family.  It was a little bit annoying but Dan got over it easily, battered with rounds of mom-food and the last of the big city kush. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The day before the wedding Dan and Pete were standing on the back porch watching the little lawn transform as siblings and motivated out-of-towners organized tables and string lights and chairs, dry running the change over from rows to dining arrangements. They had been mubbling back and forth about the luck they'd had with the bus not breaking down since Pete had posted up with him with the aside that it was an overwhelming number of

white people. Bruce had apparently assured him there would be native rockabilly girls there for him to flirt with but they weren't doing set-up and Pete was exhausted by the whole thing already. "Did Bruce tell you that the maison is selling?" Dan felt like a bomb had gone off in his brain. It was anxiety. "No," he felt almost mute. Pete must have detected his strangled tone and consoled "it's not a sure thing and it's not until the winter anyway. So I'm not worrying about it for now, myself. If he didn't tell you it's probably no big deal, right?" "I guess. That's... a surprise. No maison?" "I know, it's an institution." Dan didn't care about that. Watching Mouse up a ladder affixing a light, Dan felt out his implicit understanding of the Maison crew as Toichiro's brainchild, Toi's toys, collected by being brought in on the same wave Toi had been brought in on, the radioshow. Dan realized it was probably much more of a shared project and vision between Toi and Bruce, because it seemed to be based mainly on Bruce's collaboratively operational family. Having worked alongside Bruce so long, Mouse fit right in here. Where would Mouse live if the house broke up? Another investment property owned by the Sakamotos? Dan tried to think about the others instead of panicking for himself. He had no backup plan for staying in Toronto. "Maybe I could rent somewhere with Jean-Paul," he mused out loud. "Sure," Pete sniffed. "If you want to live with that." "What do you mean," is he a bad roommate, Dan started to ask, but realized that Pete probably knew as much about Jean-Paul as a roommate as Dan did, or less. "He uses his apartment for work. I hate these guys being around, they're always gross scumbags. Alice is smart, she doesn't like people knowing where she lives." Which didn't account for the times he'd heard Bruce had been up there with travelpunks. Dan had never seen anyone he thought was a client of Jean-Paul's around. The sun was dipping, and hitting them full on, now. He shielded his eyes because it was something to do with his hand, and surveyed where Bruce might be with a joint. At least Pete had taken his mind of the possible homelessness issue. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There were tree platforms at the four corners of the backyard field and from his perch next to Bruce in the one closest to the house, Dan could see the boundarywall of pure corn thin out closer to the middle of the field. The wedding party whirled below them under a spiral circle of yellow lights blinking in sequence. He was trying to avoid feeling too high to be up a tree in a diy crow's nest. Bruce had been prattling incessantly since dragging him up the tree. Dan had agreed because it was stressful to be a random spare at a wedding full of rockabilly friends of the couple. Seeing it from above he was still sure it was worth being up a tree. “I believe that we are all aspects to reality, each atom, each thought, each being, each element of the whole is itself a full reflection of the nature of reality.  When we vibrate together, this is reality seeing itself for itself.  We are sitting some distance apart, and you have a different way of behaving as an aspect of reality than I do.  But we’re the same—we vibrate.  And I…think I’ve realized the nature of reality,” Dan leaned toward Bruce, pulled. “Reality is invincible.” “You think people are invincible?” “Yes. When things happen to us, they are always good and bad.  You steal something, and you get ‘noid, but then you’ve got the thing and you also felt good.  Say you get caught, and that’s stressful—but then you’ve learned something, like that first-offense shoplifting is brushed off by the court system.  Maybe you never stop or never get good enough not to get caught sometimes and you go to jail—jail is horrible, jail is a torture-farm, yet you could read anything you were interested in, you could self-educate or get various diplomas. You could make great friends.  Say you live on the street, and you have to deal with hatred and dismissal and

prejudice and violence and unfairness every second—you’re a part of a worldwide culture of public, impoverished living, and a local culture that is based on mutual aid more than it is on competition and fear.  Say you’re born rich and you live an amazing life of pleasures and stimulation—this is at the expense of others, as the class system is unabated by your position, and say you don’t care, but maybe someone keys your BMW or someone hates you without knowing you. Thing happen to us, and they’re both good and bad. Yet we go on. Our bodies rot without our souls in them, and each part, the material and the immaterial, go on separately, changing but still, y’know, present. Even if we're ashes the ashes are us, being around still.” Dan wasn't sure about souls, although Bruce took it for granted. “About death, though, like what if I go to jail or live on the street and I get killed, or this thing breaks and I fall. DO I go on as a ghost? Really?” “Death is but the final frontier.” “So you…believe in what?  Reincarnation, heaven…?” Bruce’s face looked very kind. “Yes,” he paused.  “And I believe in science.  We are all star-stuff.  Our body dies.  Maybe our minds disassemble.  But reality existed before matter and exists regardless of what it’s made up of at any one time.  It is what it is.  I am part of reality and I am what I am and I will be what I will be.” “Invincible,” Dan tested the word. “Just like you.” Maybe it was the champage or the weed, or that ay summer has of making everything else far away and okay somehow, but Dan finally understood why Andreah had been trying to get him to care about Bruce's podcast back in February. He felt weirdly inspired. "Can you help book me a show at 8-11 in the fall? I need a venue," he said. He hadn't asked about the maison selling. For the moment, he was invincible.

[waywarddaughterwrites]

Snow Day

A/N: So, I’ve noticed that I’ve been writing a lot of drama and angst as of late and I wanted to lighten the atmosphere a bit with something sweet and fluffy. Seriously, there’s so much fluff here you might choke. Look out. Much love and chocolates to you, dearies! <3

Read Me on Ao3:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/13848645

Tag List:

@kissofthebadwolf @eurusholmmes

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You woke up groaning at your alarm. You were on a new "healthy" kick and were trying to transform yourself into a morning person, complete with early morning jogs. Guess how well that was working out. You hated running, and you were loathe to wake up before the sun. You looked at your phone and saw 06:00 shining back at you in a light that was way too bright and cheery for what it conveyed. You rolled over, letting out another dramatic groan. It was Saturday and you were awake at six AM. What had your life become?

You contemplated just going back to sleep, but you knew you'd regret it if you did. You were many things, but you were not a quitter. "Come on, Y/N. Commit!" You said to yourself in half-hearted encouragement. You pulled yourself, body protesting, out of the bed and to your closet, where you threw on a pair of track pants and a sweatshirt. You stumbled to the bathroom and splashed water on your face before brushing your teeth. Pulling your hair into a messy ponytail, you rubbed your face and trudged out of your room and into your tiny living room where you pulled on your running shoes. Stifling a yawn, you smacked your cheeks a couple of times to try and wake yourself up fully.

You grabbed your headphones and your keys and walked to your door. Putting the buds in your ears, you pulled open the door.

And stood there, in shocked confusion.

It was snowing.

It had been, by the looks of things, for hours.

You huffed in amusement and your newfound luck and closed the door, already beginning to toe off your shoes and thinking about your bed again, before coming to a stop, suddenly fully awake.

It was snowing.

In May.

You quickly turned back around and yanked open your door again, intent on making sure you weren't completely insane. Sure enough, there were several inches snow on the ground, and it was continuing to fall.

You were dumbfounded. Yesterday it was almost eighty degrees. You'd worn shorts and a tank top all day. And now? You were beginning to feel the chill through your sweats. You closed the door and walked to the television, flipping on the news to see if they had anything to say about the unusual development.

"...quite unlike anything we've seen, Ronny," an attractive blonde woman with large teeth was saying to her cohost. "The entire county is covered in a layer of snow five inches deep, and it is continuing to come down in a flurry! I had planned on taking my kids to the local pool this afternoon, now I think we will be building snowmen instead. Imagine that! Richard, I believe you can provide more insight, what do you say?"

The camera cut away to the meteorologist, who had his back to the camera and was seemingly studying the green screen currently showing snowfall patterns across your county.

Still turned, he said, "well, I just don't know, Susie. It's astounding!"

Your eyes grew wide and a grin began to pull at your lips as you recognized the voice. As the "meteorologist" turned toward the camera, you let out a laugh at the comical fake mustache adorning the blonde man's face.

"It seems," the man continued, "that Mother Nature is unleashing upon us a severe case of cabin fever and snow flu in droves. My professional opinion, and official prescription, to help set the course of nature back on track, is to spend as much time today as possible with the people you care about, especially boyfriends. Spend your entire snow day with your boyfriend and everything should be back to normal tomorrow! I dare say, we may not even remember such a phenomenon as snow in the middle of May even occurring. Well, most of you won't, at least." He said that last part with a deliberate wink.

You snorted, a smile stretching your cheeks and your arms folded as you watched the man on the screen who was obviously looking at you as he spoke. You rolled your eyes and muttered, "tricky bastard."

Still on the television, Gabriel ripped the mustache from his face and pointed it at you.

"That was not very polite."

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why don't you come out here and punish me, then?"

He waggled his eyebrows at you and snapped. Suddenly he was gone from the screen. You were just forming the thought of wondering where he was when there was a knock on your door. Rolling your eyes once more, you got up and walked to the door. Opening it, you saw your boyfriend standing in your doorway. The snow was coming down fast enough it was beginning to leave a light layer on his hair and it made him look every inch of the angel you knew he was.

"Hey," he said, grinning.

"Hey," you replied. He leaned in, looking for a kiss. You began to lean in to comply when suddenly you had a face full of snow.

Sputtering, you could hear him guffaw at your expense and could see through the flakes now clinging to your eyelashes the shit-eating grin on his face.

"Consider yourself punished," he said pretentiously.

You shook your head to clear it of the snow and looked him straight in the eye before promptly closing the door in his face.

"Aw, come on Sweets. Don't be like that. Let me in, it's cold out here!"

You sighed dramatically.

"That's your own fault, you overgrown bird!" You called to him good-naturedly. Still, you reached for the door anyway and pulled it back open.

The second it opened you were swept up in your angelic boyfriend's arms and spun around. Laughing, he shook the snow from his hair onto you before dipping you low and planting a deep kiss on your lips.

By the time he pulled away, you had a slightly punch-drunk look on your face and the feeling only increased as you took in the look of playfulness and utter adoration in the whiskey eyes staring back at you.

He put you back on the floor, but made no move to let you go.

"So, what do you want to do today?" He asked.

You glanced past him at the window. The snow was beginning to slow down into more of a soft flurry than a blizzard.

"Well, it would be a shame to waste the day inside during such a wonder of weather phenomena," you said to him significantly. "Although I already packed away all of my winter clothing..." you chewed your lip.

Gabriel released you and stepped back from you, looking you up and down. A mischievous look in his eye, he claimed, "not a problem!" and snapped his fingers. Suddenly you found yourself in a pair of comfy, thick snow pants and a sweater with a warm bubble jacket over top. Your feet were encased in snow boots and your hands had zig-zag patterned mittens on them. You were perfectly prepared for a day in the snow, except...

"Gabriel. Pigtails? Really?"

He shrugged at you, pseudo-innocently.

"I think they're cute!" He said emphatically.

"My little snow bunny has ears!"

You raised your eyebrow at him and he snapped again, encasing your head in a knit headband, your hair in its usual singular pony tail.

One more snap and he was dressed in similar snow-ready attire and pulling you by the hand outside to the wonderland that awaited you.

Once outside, you saw the extent of what he had created. Everything had been effectively forced to shut down. Where you lived, your town wasn't used to much snow in the wintertime, so snow in mid-spring was practically debilitating. There was a thick layer of snow covering most everything, and people were outside in the streets playing in it. Children had snowball fights and teenagers were building snowmen. Parents pulled children on makeshift sleds made from kitchen pans and trash can lids. It was like a Christmas card.

You paused for a moment, taking it all in. You felt arms snake around your waist and you leaned into Gabriel's warmth as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

"A little unorthodox, but you did a good thing," you told him.

"They're not the only ones who are overdue for a break from reality," he whispered into your ear in response. Kissing your cheek, you felt him smile into your skin and inhale deeply.

You turned around to face him, suddenly playful. "Come on," you said, "I'll race you to the tree!" He raised his eyebrows at you before disappearing. The sudden lack of his support made you stumble before you straightened and called out, "cheater!"

The next thing you knew, you were in his arms once more, only this time, you were beside "your" tree. You lived a block away from a small park. After hundreds of strolls and midnight stargazing near this particular tree, you both had sentimentally begun thinking of it as "your" tree. Luckily, no one else had claimed the area around it on this snowy day off. Gabriel leaned down and pecked your lips once more before releasing you from his grasp.

"Let's make a snowman!" You exclaimed suddenly. Smiling at your enthusiasm, Gabriel turned away to gather snow to begin fulfilling your wish. You used his distraction to reach down and gather a handful of snow yourself, packing it into a ball. Against his notice, you backed a couple of feet away before saying, "hey, babe?"

He looked up at you to respond and immediately was hit with a face full of snow, via your dastardly plot for revenge. You were cackling at the stunned look on his face. Your laughter broke off quickly, though, when his eyes turned impish and you knew you had about three seconds to dive out of range before you were going to be pelted with snowballs. You ran the best you could, dodging a snowball here and there. Several collided with your back, not enough to knock you down. Once or twice you attempted to return fire, but it never connected and only served to slow you down and subsequently subject you to more snow via your boyfriend with the power of the heavens. You were laughing so hard you could barely breathe, and you only registered the sound of snow-crunching footfalls behind you before you were tackled to the ground.

You were both laughing in a way you hadn't in too long of a time. He rolled with you across the ground until he ended with you on your back and him laying overtop of you, looking down at you in the snow. You both were breathless. He leaned over once more for another kiss, but this one was more tender, softer than the ones earlier. It was sweeter, it matched the peaceful snow around you and the lighthearted atmosphere it had created.

Pulling away from you, inches still from your face, he breathed, "I have an idea." He hopped up from the snow, expecting you to follow. Instead, you stayed where you were and began to move your arms and legs. Once satisfied, you carefully stood so as not to ruin your creation. You walked around to the top and drew an oval-shaped halo above the impression of your head. Grinning, you looked up at Gabriel, who was watching you with a bemused expression.

Seeming contemplative, you made a show of looking between the angel on the ground and the angel beside you. "I can see the resemblance," you remarked.

Gabriel threw you a bitch face that would have put Sam Winchester to shame.

"I look nothing like that! The dress, the halo, it's utter nonsense," he exclaimed in mock offense.

You giggled at him before looping your arm through his. Nodding down at your snow angel reverently, you conceded, "you're right. You could never pull off a dress like that."

Gabriel sputtered, obviously caught between defending that he absolutely COULD pull off any dress he desired and sticking to his original claim that he looked nothing like a traditional angel. Settling for sticking his tongue out at you, he pulled you toward a large clear patch of untouched snow.

"Have you ever built an igloo?" He asked you. You had, but only once, and you were very young. You told him as much. He spent the next couple of minutes showing you how to create the bricks and stack them appropriately. The two of you spent the morning laying your foundation and building upon it, creating a small structure in the snow. Finally you were putting the finishing touches on your igloo, patching small holes and smoothing out the bricks on top. The two of you stepped back, sweaty, but thoroughly pleased with yourselves.

"Dibbs!" Gabriel called before breaking away from you and climbing inside.

"Hey!" You called, "no fair!"

Gabriel stuck his head out of the doorway and you pouted dramatically at him. Smiling at you, he held out a hand in invitation.

"I thoroughly doubt there's enough room in there for us both," you said, shaking your head at him.

"You'd be surprised," he responded, still holding out his hand. Intrigued, you crouched down and followed him through the short tunnel into the igloo.

Your breath stuttered in amazement. The tiny igloo the two of you had built had an interior the size of your apartment's living room. There was a small bookshelf full of books next to two plush armchairs and a small side table laden with a plate of sandwiches nestled in front of a cozy, warm fire going in a fireplace on the wall. You blinked your eyes at the incredulity of it all. Turning to Gabriel, he held out a large mug of something steaming as he clutched one for himself in his other hand. He had removed his jacket and gloves and hung them on a coat rack you just noticed next to the entry. Shrugging out of your own jacket and mittens (the fire had it surprisingly warm and comfortable inside) you took the offered mug and sipped it to find it was thick, rich, perfect hot chocolate.

"I don't know what you had planned for the rest of the day," he started quietly, "but I happened to stumble across the coziest little place that I think would be quite nice to spend an afternoon."

You smiled at him before reaching up and cupping your hand on his cheek. "It's lovely," you said in response. He smiled at you before turning his head slightly to kiss your thumb near his mouth.

Your stomach growled, effectively ruining the moment. Chuckling, both of your hot chocolates vanished and reappeared on the side table next to the sandwiches. He scooped you up into his arms bridal-style and carried you to one of the chairs. "Come on," he said as he carried you, "human needs to eat lunch."

The two of you spent the entire afternoon and early evening in your hidden winter paradise. You found yourself curled in Gabriel's lap, a blanket covering the two of you. In your hands you held a book of poetry by Y/F/P and you were reading softly aloud to him as he played with your hair you had let loose from your ponytail.  It was a wonderfully peaceful moment and you soaked in every second of it, losing yourself in your little haven away from the outside world. You turned the page in the book and began to read the next poem.

"I love you."

Mid-stanza, you didn't register what he said. Turning to him, you said, "hmm?"

His gaze was soft and deeper than you could remember seeing it before. "I said, I love you."

Your mouth parted open in shock, the proclamation taking you aback. He held your eyes with his own and you blinked, gathering yourself back together before leaning forward and kissing him.

Leaning away from him just enough to break the kiss, you leaned your forehead against his, your noses touching.

"I love you too, you giant feathery goofball," you whispered. He grinned before darting forward, catching your lips in a bruising, heated kiss. The book lay In your lap, forgotten as you tangled your hands in his hair and his arms tightened around you, pulling you closer. You were both breathless and gasping by the time you came up for air.

Reaching his hand up, he pushed your hair away from your face and behind your ear.

"I could stay here forever," he said. You smiled at him, tinged only slightly with sadness as you both knew it was impossible. The real world was too demanding for the likes of an angel and a hunter. You snuggled your head into the crook of his neck and his arms wrapped around you once more.

You could, too, if you had the chance. You didn't say it, because you knew he knew.

[estiqatsi]

https://www.theplayerstribune.com/posts/dan-carter-rugby-retirement

"Before I was anything, I was a rugby fan.I suppose it really started when I was five years old, and New Zealand cohosted the first-ever Rugby World Cup.This was 1987, and while I have so many memories from around that age that are blurry, that tournament is still crystal clear in my mind. The All Blacks played the very first match of the tournament against Italy in Auckland. And it was during that game (an All Blacks win, naturally) that John Kirwan scored one of the greatest tries I’ve ever seen. He took a kickoff and, with a full head of steam, ran the length of field, weaving through Italy’s entire team, dodging tackle after tackle, until he finally dove across the line to score. Man, that play just lit a fire inside me — I still get tingles just thinking about it.As soon as that match was over, I was in my front yard trying to mimic all the same moves he’d made on that play. Now, I was just a little kid, the ball was almost as big as I was, but in my mind I was JK. I was sprinting full speed, weaving through tacklers, and I was wearing that iconic jersey as I touched the ball down for the try and the imaginary crowd lost its mind. New Zealand ended up winning the entire tournament, and I still remember the moment when David Kirk, the team captain, hoisted the trophy in the air. It cemented one thought in my mind. It wasn’t actually a thought so much as it was a dream — a wild one at that. I wanted that to be me one day. I wanted to be an All Black. I wanted to represent my country — even if it was just for one cap. Before I was anything, I was a rugby fan.I was really young, but at that moment I had zero doubts as to what I wanted in my life. And I knew I would be willing to do whatever it took — to make whatever sacrifices I needed to — in order to get it.It seemed an impossible dream at the time because I was from a town of about 700 people. But that didn’t really phase me because all that drove me was my passion for the game and sport in general. Growing up, my room was covered from floor to ceiling with posters of athletes I idolized — rugby players, cricketers, basketballers. If I wasn’t outside playing sports, I was inside daydreaming about them.But more than anything, I loved rugby.I went to every game I could get a ticket to, trained constantly, and I definitely hounded my favorite players for an autograph and “just one photo.” I definitely know what it’s like to wish you could just be in the vicinity of a player you idolized, and maybe, just maybe, work up the courage to interact with them. I experienced that feeling for so many of the players I watched growing up — some of whom I was blessed enough to play with later.And that’s why, as I get ready for a new chapter in my life, it only felt right to say something to you, the fans — because you really are what’s made this journey so special, and why I’ve stuck with it as long as I have.

Ross Land/Getty Images

Back in 2002, I was 20 years old and hadn’t signed a professional contract yet. I was playing provincial rugby and working a few part-time jobs on the side while living in a filthy flat with a whole bunch of mates who attended a uni nearby. I still had ambitions of playing professionally, but back then my more immediate focus was on just being able to afford rent. One day, when I was walking down Oxford Terrace in Christchurch, I was stopped by this man. He said hello, and then just started talking to me like we knew each other pretty well. He was a really nice guy. We were just talking rugby, and he was really curious about my opinions and just seemed to know a lot about me. So, the entire time we spoke I just kept trying to place where we must have met before. Maybe an old teacher? Is this guy a friend of my dad’s?We ended up talking on the side of the road for about 20 minutes (which is pretty brief as rugby discussions go). As soon as we said goodbye and I turned around, I started jogging through my mind trying to think of who he could have been — but I just couldn’t come up with a name. And then it finally hit me — that this man wasn’t actually anybody I knew at all. He was just someone who had seen me play that weekend. I’m not going to lie, part of me thought — on a basic human level — Man, O.K., that was kind of weird.I'd just spent 20 minutes on the side of the road talking with a random pedestrian who I’d pretended to know in order to be polite. But then I realized the flip side of that. This man had taken 20 minutes out of his day to be kind and make conversation with me all because he enjoyed watching me play the game I love. And I realized that the reason it felt like we knew each other was because of the passion we shared for the same thing — rugby. This is a sport that spans so many different continents and cultures, but there’s a special connection between fans everywhere. It’s a peculiar thing, this game where you can be absolutely brutal on the field for 80 minutes, and then afterwards, it’s all behind you. There are plenty of sports where opposing fans need to be separated from each other in different sections, but that’s not the case for rugby. You go at it as hard as you can as a player and as a supporter, and as soon as the final whistle blows, there’s no animosity toward the opposing side — just a desire to grab a beer with them.It was surreal as my career progressed and more and more fans started taking an interest in my form. I learned a lot about the power of sport, and how much a game and result can really impact others.This man had taken 20 minutes out of his day to be kind and make conversation with me all because he enjoyed watching me play the game I love.When I started getting my first fan letters, I made a point to try to respond to every single one. The wins always felt that much more special because I knew I was making so many people happy. And losses hurt that much worse because I truly was invested in not wanting to disappoint those who supported my side. But more than anything, I always appreciated the fact so many fans invested their emotions in my performance.There are many things that people struggle with in life that they can’t control. We all deal with our own battles that take up a lot of our headspace. But knowing that, for 80 minutes, people could watch me play a game and completely take their mind off the stresses of life — that was special to me. The greatest example of that I experienced was in 2011, when we had a huge earthquake in Christchurch. Our fans and community were hit really hard, and for many people, rugby became a way to briefly escape the trauma that they were going through. I’ve never been on a team that played harder than we did — all because we wanted to give those people who were suffering something to cheer and feel positive about. With the rise of social media, it became much easier to interact directly with fans. So as my career went on, I didn’t get as much fan mail as I used to. But there was still one fan of mine from Japan who never stopped sending me letters. She attended my matches all over the world, and kept track of the results, and thought enough to continue writing to me about them. So to Yuka — and every other fan who’s taken the time to reach out — thank you. Truly.

Kai Schwoerer/Getty Images

My first cap for the All Blacks was against Wales in 2003. I was only 21, basically still a kid, and one of the things I remember most was sitting at my locker before the game, just looking around wide-eyed. Those posters that covered my walls growing up? They had come to life. All the players surrounding me were guys I had absolutely worshipped growing up. Honestly, it felt like an out-of-body experience. Of course, I was trying to get my head right for the match, but I was also just amazed to be sitting there among those legends. Feeling almost like, Who let me in here?All that sort of carried over to the field when I heard the roar of the crowd and we did the haka. It was all surreal. But then, during that game, something happened. A switch flipped. And I stopped thinking about how happy I was to be there and what a dream it was to earn a cap for the All Blacks. Instead, all I could think about was I want to do this again. And again. And again. Since I first picked up a ball, rugby has always been what I wanted to do. I just love it. I love everything about it. And for the majority of my life, it’s been my biggest focus. It has required a ton of sacrifices. To dedicate your life to a sport this physical asks a ton out of your body. I pushed mine further than I ever thought I could, but with the support of my family and treatment from world-class training and medical staff, I made it through. If you told me a year before the 2015 World Cup — when I had several injuries, my form was suffering and I had serious doubts that I’d make the squad — that I would compete for another half a decade until the age of 38 and win championships on three different continents, there’s no chance I would have believed you. I just wouldn’t be able to imagine that I was going to be that fortunate. I was trying to get my head right for the match, but I was also just amazed to be sitting there among those legends.The physical pains took their toll, and I still feel plenty of them when I wake up in the morning, but today I’m healthy and healed. The time I’ve sacrificed away from my family, though, I know that’s something I can’t get back. After our season was canceled in Japan, and I returned home to New Zealand to be with my family, I realized that I never wanted to leave them again. And with our fourth child now on the way, I know I just have too many future memories with the people most important in my life that I can’t afford to miss. My wife, Honor, still doesn’t really believe I’m retiring. More than anyone else, she’s the reason I’ve been able to play as long as I have. As I’ve been continuing to chase the dreams I had since I was a child, she’s been my rock. But I’m ready for what’s next after rugby. Being able to not just say that, but to truly feel it, is a privilege. Ultimately, getting to leave your sport on your own terms is all you can really hope for as an athlete. But I’d be lying if I said I don’t think I’ll miss playing. Being able to go on the pitch, do the thing I love most in the world and make people happy in the process was always a thrill for me. I never took it for granted. And it’s what I’m truly going to miss the most. I always knew my career wasn’t going to last forever. This game is so much bigger than any one player. Ultimately, we’re just custodians, and can only hope to leave the game in better shape than we found it. My greatest hope is that maybe there was at least one person out there who, while watching me play, might have had a little spark ignited inside of them. And maybe that spark motivated them to dedicate themselves to their own impossible dream.And maybe, if they put their full hearts and focus into it, they could also learn that their impossible dreams, as it turns out, aren’t so impossible after all. "

[ghostspacetoast]

Before a couple of years ago, I would only watch YouTube for music videos, karaoke and old cartoon theme songs. I didn’t subscribe to any of the popular YouTube personalities. I had watched Shane Dawson when I probably shouldn’t have and I admit, I did watch a few FRED videos.

But for a little more than year now, I have been a fan of best friends Phil Lester AKA AmazingPhil and Dan Howell AKA Danisnotonfire on YouTube and I think calling myself a fan is an understatement. I have every push notification possible activated for any of their social media accounts, I own both of their books, two shirts, one sweatshirt, one sweater, sweatpants, and a little plushie. I also went to see their stage show when they came to DC last May. And the only reason I have a Tumblr is to like and reblog fan art and memes. So I guess you could say I’m a tad bit obsessed.

And today is Phil Lester’s birthday. He is 30 years old. This was a day the phandom (dan+phil fan base name) knew was coming. 30 isn’t old, but there are a lot of tweens and teens in the phandom and hitting 30 might as well be considered old and un-hip.

Before I dive into the rabbit hole of Dan, Phil, and the entire fandom, let me get on with the list on why Phil Lester is so amazing.

After 10 years, he continues to make YouTube videos. Phil is known as “a YouTube dinosaur.”

He still believes in the magic of Christmas for when Dan says Mrs. Claus isn’t real, Phil says “this is the magic Christmas video about Akinator. If you say Mrs. Claus doesn’t exist I’m going to leave!” Catch it at 7:10 to see the sassy unfold.

He loves house plants but doesn’t have a green thumb.

 Phil has a great singing voice, as shown in Dan and Phil’s song “The Internet is Here.”

He is clumsy as hell but somehow he is still alive.

He gives great advice.

Phil was a contestant on The Weakest Link and made it pretty dang far.

And in that video he said he wanted to be “in the media somewhere” and a “film director” after he graduated from university, and Phil did it all through YouTube. (cannot be anymore proud of this man I’ve never met, but his dreams came true and it’s a real happy thing.)

He tries to expand on his brand with the Seven Second Challenge and doing videos out of the ordinary for his channel, like baking videos.

His smile is great and his laughter is contagious (and after I typed this I found a laughter compilation and couldn’t stop smiling the whole time.)

Phil’s eyes are straight from the ocean, outta this world. 

Phil (and Dan) are Disney stars! Well, they have done voice work as technicians 1 and 2 in the UK edition of Big Hero 6 and were two gorilla princes in The Lion Guard. This was the first time I had watched Disney Junior in awhile, but it was worth it to see my favorites in action.

He was also an extra on Faintheart as a viking.

Did I mention he is British? Yeah yeah his accent doesn’t define him, but it doesn’t hurt either! Also..have you heard the way British people say zebra?

He’s done things that have scared him, like doing a 25 ft cliff jump in Jamaica or doing a touring stage show for thousands of people.

Phil was a cohost along with his best friend Dan to a show on BBC Radio 1 called Internet Takeover. They had this show for a few years and this led to them interviewing One Direction, Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy and even being hosts and announcers for some primetime awards shows in the UK.

He loves waffles.

At one point he was the world’s fastest coin stacker.

He never fails to be totally relatable.

His talent for unintentionally making innuendos.

Phil is pretty good at flipping pancakes. 

The one amazing moment when Dan got picture proof of Phil eating Dan’s cereal without asking.

Dan and Phil were in YouTube Rewind as two Stranger Things-esque boys.

He has 3.9 million subscribers and counting. #getPhilto4Mil

He finally nailed the famous warmup Danger Men At Work, way after their tour ended.

He was the one who inspired Dan to make videos.

Dan and Phil have an annual Q&A video called Phil is not on fire where they put cat whiskers on their face and it has become a cult phenomenon so when I did this my parents were worried and told me to wash my face but I didn’t because they just don’t understand that the cat whiskers lie within! 

And basically this whole video where we get to see baby ginger Phillip. 

Phil won the filmmaker of the year award at the British Online Creator Awards and he invited Dan onto the stage (I’d be crying if I wasn’t already so stuffy from my cold.)

He is the representation of sunshine, his name is Phil Lester and he is 30.

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on here and you sure did get a heck of a post! I hope you enjoyed my possibly lengthiest blog post ever. If you made it this far, snaps to you. I do wish this guy the best birthday possible because he has made my life better since I subscribed. I truly hope one day I will be able to meet him.

featured image made by lxzyfangirl.tumblr.com

  30 Reasons Why Phil Lester is Amazing on his 30th Birthday Before a couple of years ago, I would only watch YouTube for music videos, karaoke and old cartoon theme songs.

[itsworn]

Dodge Demon Owners Race for Cash at the First Demon Invitational

“Hey, wanna come to an all-Dodge Demon shootout?”

That was our invite from Brandon Mass of Mass Traction to join his team at No Problem Raceway in Belle Rose, Louisiana as they, and the Modern Street Hemi Shootout club, cohosted the first competition of Dodge’s 840-horsepower street-legal drag car. “Does anyone even have a Demon delivered yet?” we asked, to which the answer was, “We only need two to race.”

As it turns out there were four Demons running for the cash prize on Feb 17th, 2018, and all them intensely focused and enthusiastic about racing, as you’d expect of the sort of person who buys a new $90,000 car, and takes it straight to the dragstrip. One of the cars had less than 100 miles on it!

At the time of this writing, no other Demons have run against each other in competition aside from Dodge press drives, so we’re going to call Ron Silva, of Pasadena, California, the defending champion, as he has the honor of being the first civilian Demon owner to put one in the 9-second E.T. range—a 9.94 at 136.47 mph feat accomplished at Auto Club Famoso Raceway in Bakersfield, California, at around pass number 40 or so on the car. Silva is no stranger to HOT ROD, his 1971 Demon and 1967 Valiant could be used to define the term, “sleeper.”

“You know what my other cars were like,” Silva told us, “So you shouldn’t be surprised that I ordered the Demon as soon as I heard rumor of its existence. A street-legal drag car in the 10-second range? That’s exactly what I wanted, this car was built for me.”

Silva’s single-seat car, #0465, is the most modified of the Demons at the track for this event, with Forgeline rear wheels wrapped in 305/45-18 Mickey Thompson ET Street Rs, held on with titanium lugnuts. “Don’t go telling everyone about those lugnuts, they take some special treatment, the average person shouldn’t use them,” says Silva. The tune is stock, straight out of the crate, running a mix of SS100 and VPMS109 and he swapped out the street airfilter for the thinner, high-flowing race version, but other than that, no nitrous, no pulley changes, just factory Demon and a lot of practice. At the end of the test-and-tune at No Problem Raceway he’d pulled off a 10.06.

In a car almost the twin of Silva’s is Nephtali Garibay out of Laredo, Texas. Garibay brought three different sets of wheels and tires to try out various combinations, but likes the same set-up as Silva, the MT 305s. “The Nittos are hard to launch and the Hoosiers bog and walk,” he says.

Garibay’s car is #0550, and unlike Silva, he ordered the full interior. “My daughters love it. Normally my older girl doesn’t want me to pick her up from school, but now she and her friends all wait out front for me.” He says he enjoys sharing the car with people. “I give rides. That’s what got me hooked, back in the day, a ride in a fast car. I want to give that back.” Before today, Garibay’s best time was a 10.50, but he was down to 10.10 by the end of the test-and-tune. He wants to give Silva a run for the money—and it’s a lot of money. Mass Traction put up $2000 for the winner of the shootout, and with only four drivers in the running, the odds are good for anyone to take it.

Without taking anything away from Silva and Garibay, we have to say the most impressive Demon performance of the first day was turned in by Nancy Gennarelli from North Carolina. Although she and her husband Al have a 9-second Hellcat, neither of them had been behind the wheel of their brand-new Demon, #0515. The silver devil gave Gennarelli a hard time at the start, but by the end of the day she’d worked her way down from a 10.66 to a 10.17, and that was on the stock Nitto tires. “We’re chasing that number,” she told us. “We don’t care about the money, we want that 9-second pass.”

If you think Nancy is a badass for showing up to race a car she’s never raced before, how about Kristin Notariano? Kristin and her husband Kelly showed up in an F8-green Demon (car #0637), and not only had Kristin not driven it before on track, she’d only ever driven once on track in anything! “It was a pickup truck, about 15 years ago,” she said, and we applaud anyone whose first competition is in an 808-horsepower monster. Note that, 808, not 840, because the Notarianos kept their beast on pump gas, while the other three had a mix of pump and high octane to unlock Drag Mode and an extra 32 ponies.

Saturday morning dawns cool and wet. No Problem Raceway is bordered by swampland, and in the Cypress trees, a mass of birds with voices like alarm bells express their displeasure about our presence, or maybe they were excited for the day’s racing? The Demon inspires a range of opinions from scorn to desire. In its owners, there is nothing but enthusiasm for the race. Silva is the first car in the lanes, and before the track rotator has even cleared off to the side he is in the beams and heading towards the score boards. 10.10. A red Hellcat follows in the burnout box. Remember when the Hellcat was the flashy new car at a dragstrip? Now it seems downright subdued, even when there’s post-burnout tire smoke seeping out of every panel gap, around the gas cap and side marker lights, a haze of ready-to-launch horsepower.

Along with the Demon race, the Modern Street Hemi Shootout is running its normal Super Pro and Index classes, so there are plenty of heavily modified Hellcats, Scat Packs, and SRT Jeeps. As the Demon owners inch closer to the 9s, several Hellcats and two Jeeps are already there. The big difference? PSSSSSH. All the 9-seconders are on the gas, and we don’t mean the throttle pedal.

Silva gets back in the lanes, and runs a 10.33. We meet him in the pits afterwards to ask what went wrong and he laughs. “Nothing! I had it on the 808 tune with a bunch of weight in the back. I want to run the 10.5 class as well as the Demon and the bracket race, so I want to figure out how to slow the car down enough.” He pops the trunk and starts feeding in everything he can find to weigh it down, the Demon-branded jack, the air compressor, and sandbags.

Meanwhile, one pit over, Al and Nancy Gennarelli are pulling out weight. “The other two guys are running in the 10.00s,” she tells us, “And the only difference is the tires and the passenger seat.” Al swaps off the Nittos to the same Mickey Thompson ET Street Rs first thing in the morning, and wrestles the seats out. Nancy suits up, rolls through the lanes and runs a 10.10. Note to owners, take the seat out. As the Gennarellis learn, so does the car. On Friday, the shifts in the unraced Demon seemed softer than those in Silva and Garibay’s cars, but a few passes into Saturday’s warm-up and Nancy is running right on the number, hitting just as hard. It’s interesting to watch the self-learning technology at work. “It sure is different from twisting the distributer, eh?” we joke to Silva, who grins ear to ear.

The Demons hot-lap and the day heats up. 10.10, 10.10, 10.12. 10.09, 10.10. Four different cars, four different drivers, and all running within thousandths of each other. Even Kristin and Kelly, with just three passes on the car and handicapped by fuel and tires are running 10.30s. Among the cars that have cracked that 10-second barrier, attrition is seeping in. The high qualifier, George Mueller in a 2007 SRT Jeep, blows a head gasket. A mis-timed nitrous blast turns the roar of a burnout into the heart-breaking THUCK of a hydro-locked engine for a bright green Hellcat that had previously been deep in the 9s. The Demons march on, 10.10, 10.12, 10.07, 10.10.

Eliminations begin. Garibay and Gennarelli are out of the bracket race fast, a break-out for one and just plain out racecrafted for the other. “He ran an .11 on an .11 dial with a perfect light!” Silva goes rounds in both bracket and 10.5. The Demons go against one another. Gennarelli takes out Notariano. Silva takes out Garibay, a 10.10 to a 10.12. Silva is hustling, out of bracket, but still in the 10.5 class, and trying to cool off the car to face Gennarelli in the final. He’s got something like 22 passes on the car in the past 24 hours, but it keeps running the number.

The Demon was built to drag race. If you saw any of the FCA marketing in the past year you know that it offers utilities normally only found in track-only machines Line-Lock for better burnouts with no brake wear and tear, Trans Brake to hold the car at the line, Torque Reserve (Two Step) to build boost. The four Demon owners at No Problem were playing with these options, but most end up racing while doing the more familiar foot-braking technique. “It’s just too much to think about while racing, to learn a new thing,” says Gennarelli about the trans brake. “It’s unpredictable. It takes practice,” says Silva. One thing they all rave about however, is the Demon’s engine and air-cooling features. Called “Power Chiller” and “After-Run Chiller” by Dodge, the Demon uses the air-conditioning refrigerant to chill the intake air while in Drag Mode, and runs the coolant pump in the pits even with the car off. It’s like running your electric fan off a toggle switch in an older car. The results are on display- no heat soaking, no noticeable E.T. changes, and no need to panic as the rounds start overlapping at the end of race day.

In the end, Silva breaks out in the 10.5 class, and the Demon final finds him lining his Tor Red wide-body up against Gennarelli in the Billet Silver and matte black machine. The ambers flash and he trees her! Silva gets it on a holeshot, with a 10.11 to a quicker but losing 10.09. Back in the pits everyone is exuberant. The times were so close, the cars so close to the magic 9-second number. It’s an old refrain, “If only the weather…” but in this case it’s true. If the Demons had had Silva’s Bakersfield-in-January air density with this track surface, we would have seen some records fall. In the end, it just means it’s yet to come, and these four folks, brave enough to haul out and haul ass in their brand-new, collectible, limited edition cars, will always be the first in the books to have raced the Dodge Demon.

Nancy Gennarelli sums it up best. “The fun of this is that it was so new. Nobody has cracked the box yet. By the next event, they’ll all be modified.” This race was true factory stock, a true street car shootout.

Click on through the gallery for more Demon burnouts, a 6.1-swapped Dodge Dart, and some jackrabbit Jeeps.

The post Dodge Demon Owners Race for Cash at the First Demon Invitational appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

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Rush Limbaugh Explains How Trump Nailed the ChiCom Negotiations

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Nov 15, 2017

  RUSH: Now, this is funny. Trump sprung the three UCLA basketball players from the ChiCom jail. They were in there for shoplifting. UCLA basketball team was in China, and these three guys got pinched for shoplifting, and Trump, as part of his diplomatic efforts there, got them released. And apparently, they haven’t said thank you.

And so Trump is publicly saying, “Are these UCLA players gonna thank me for getting them out?” And people are saying, “That’s so unpresidential. He should be above it. He shouldn’t be requiring young children to have the knowledge that the — And maybe they’re not Trump supporters anyway, so why should they thank him?” The Drive-Bys are all over this as though it’s some kind of controversy that Trump is asking whether or not these three basketball players will thank him for springing them out of jail.

Now, yesterday in the first hour of the program, I purposely talked about Trump’s trip to Asia. It was my belief yesterday — it is today, too — that Trump’s trip was a profound success. And it was a resounding success on many levels. And I focused on the skill that President Trump brought to the negotiating table with the ChiComs. And I’m not gonna rehash it all.

But just to refresh your memory, I highlighted the technique necessary to successfully negotiate with ChiComs. They are not like us. Western civilization, Western culture is not theirs. This is not a criticism; it’s an acknowledgment. Whereas we, in negotiating with ourselves or with other foreign countries, we have a belief system of mutual agreement even if both sides remain unhappy when the deal’s over, and it’s often said, in fact, that a really good deal is when both sides are unhappy. Which means that both sides got something the other side wasn’t prepared to give, and that means it’s good, it’s good when you don’t get everything you want. That would be selfish and unfair.

This has been an established negotiating tactic. It’s part of our culture. I’m not putting it down. I am not praising it. I’m just pointing it out. The Chinese are totally different. They don’t have anything like that attitudinally. They don’t go into negotiations, whatever it is, negotiating human rights, civil rights abuses, foreign trade deals, if it doesn’t benefit China, they’re not gonna do it. If it’s not something that they can claim is a victory, they’re not gonna do it.

You can chalk it up to the need for self-esteem and respect. Whatever the psychological reasoning behind it, the Chinese literally do not have in their thinking vocabulary the idea that a deal is good if both sides are unhappy with it. In the Chinese world of negotiating, you don’t do it if you’re gonna be unhappy with it when it’s over. So you have to know that going in when you’re gonna start doing deals with the ChiComs.

And remember during the campaign, Trump did nothing but beat them up. So for two years the ChiComs listened to Trump beat ’em up, talk to them about how they are unfair, how they are cheaters, how they’re currency manipulators. And so two years of that, and the ChiComs think they are ready for what’s coming from Trump.

When in fact, Trump, if he thought that he was gonna be elected president, was already beginning his negotiations by starting out with the outrageous — his technique is, ask for three times what you’ll settle for. Ask for three times what you really want. It’s the only way to get what you really want. You have to be able to appear to be coming down.

You have to appear to be able to be throwing things out, things that you want, in order to get what you want. So you start three times higher. But Trump also knew that whatever it was, the Chinese when it was over, had to think they won. The Chinese had to think that, on balance, it was a good deal for them. And here is how I explained it on the program yesterday.

RUSH ARCHIVE: North Korea is the elephant in the room. Trump wants help from Xi Jinping on neutralizing Kim Jong-un. But Xi Jinping’s got no interest in doing that for the sake of humanity, for the betterment of the world. If getting rid of the North Koreans doesn’t benefit the Chinese, to hell with it. He doesn’t care about the instability of the world except as it might affect China. So that’s the key. So you have to appeal to the Chinese on the basis that, “Look, I want to make a new trade deal with you.”

Now, remember, Trump started out on the campaign trail telling us he’s gonna be tough. The ChiComs have been getting away with murder ’cause Americans are so stupid, but those days are over. The free ride of the Chinese is over. So they’ve been hearing that for two years. So they’re expecting Trump to come in and strip everything away, take away all the benefits they have, all the advantages. He didn’t do that. He gave ’em favorable trade deals but they have to help us with Kim Jong-un. So neutralizing Kim Jong-un then equals a benefit for the ChiComs.

RUSH: Right. Remember, now, the Chinese, to them the North Koreans, in doing something that might neutralize the North Koreans or mitigate them, it’s not about making the world safer, it’s not about humanity, it’s not about right and wrong. For the Chinese it’s all about when this is all over, do we benefit, do we win? And Trump realized that the Chinese are not going to make the North Koreans more important than themselves.

What Trump wanted was more favorable trade deals with them. They were afraid Trump was gonna start from scratch and be really tough. That was not Trump’s starting position. Trump gave them very favorable deals that they could claim were a win for them. But the price was weighing in on the North Koreans.

So this morning on CNN’s New Day, the cohost was Fredo Cuomo, and he’s talking to the former NSA Director, Michael Hayden. I think Hayden was also at CIA. But regardless, he’s not a Trump fan. Hayden has never been a big Trumpist. More like a Never Trumper.

So Fredo says to Michael Hayden, “China is sending a special envoy to North Korea this week. The president has repeatedly called on China to put more pressure on North Korea over its nuke program. Mr. Hayden, is this proof of progress? Should we see this development as a reflection of Trump’s effectiveness?”

HAYDEN: I think the timing suggests that’s true. So you’ve got a bit of a ray of light, maybe a breath of fresh air here, the Chinese trying to amp up their pressure on the North Koreans. I think we can rely on them to amp up the pressure a bit to have Kim, the youngest, tone down the rhetoric. Maybe stop testing for a while. This is pass/fail for Kim Jong-un. This is about his and his regime’s survival.

RUSH: Well, bingo! Did I not lay it all out for you yesterday? Not to be braggadocios, don’t misunderstand, but I spent the first hour on this, the first half hour on this, essentially, and this is why. ‘Cause this is a huge deal. And you’re not gonna see Trump credited. You’re not gonna see anything of the sort.

All you’re gonna see is Trump’s unfit. Trump has no business being president. Trump doesn’t even know who these people are. Trump has no business talking to ChiComs. Trump has no business in North Korea. All he does is insult the North Korean guy as short and fat, we can’t have that. That’s unpresidential.

When in truth Trump succeeded in getting Xi Jinping to tell the short, fat, little-potbellied dictator in North Korea to dial it back. Now, we’ll see if it actually happens. But it’s in China’s benefit to do it. China is not going to allow North Korean interests to supersede its own.

Now, if Trump had gone over there and in a very bellicose manner demanded that Xi Jinping tone down that guy or else, it would have been an abysmal failure. The Chinese reaction: “You don’t come over here and tell us what to do. That’s our ally. Screw you!” in diplomatic language.

But that isn’t what Trump did. Trump gave them something that they didn’t think they were gonna get, trade-wise, that, B, constituted in their way of thinking a win, to now it’s in their best interests to dial back North Korea in order to maintain this newfound good relationship that China has with the Trump administration.

It was really, really, you have to say, well done. And as I say, I doubt you’re gonna hear this perspective. I mean, even Hayden here, in his answer, was very begrudging (imitating Hayden), “Well, I think the timing suggests, yes, that’s true. The president was effective. So you have a bit of a ray of light.” He had to admit it because it is true. So that’s that.

Now we’ll take a break here, come back with — well, we’re either gonna get back to the phones or we’re gonna return to the fertile ground of sexual perversion and harassment and abuse in the world of politics and entertainment.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Okay. Those three UCLA players have now thanked President Trump for getting them out of jail. He wondered where the thank-you was. I know, they thanked the ChiComs too. The ChiComs probably insisted on that. “Your president told us to let you out, but we’re the ones that unlock the cells, and so when you get back you better express gratitude to us because we know where you are.” And so the three UCLA players not only thanked Trump, but they thanked the ChiComs

Trump gave them something that they didn’t think they were gonna get, trade-wise, Rush Limbaugh Explains How Trump Nailed the ChiCom Negotiations Nov 15, 2017 RUSH: Now, this is funny.