#and like i said. i was watching some old Funnie Stuff earlier. legit made me laugh a lot

[reinabeestudio]

god i've been laughing so much today i got a headache now

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep8: The Saga of Grandpa Muto’s Mysterious Broken Ass

Getting ready to eat some Devlin eggs this Easter Sunday, feeling festive, and I figured it’s time to post this one a little earlier. Also, because it’s done, which I wasn’t expecting. It’s a slightly longer episode this time, but still, eh, pretty short.

We’ve come off of the very predictable, but still kind of disappointing downfall of Joey Wheeler, and onto a Rebecca arc. Which I’m sure won’t be annoying at all.

The lesser Roland--who’s name I do not know, but the one that wears the weirder sunglasses and seems way smarter than Roland, but clearly isn’t the favorite--lets us know that Zigfried has been going by an alternate identity for years and years. Which like...who cares? It’s not like the Kaibas have always been Kaibas. This is old hat to them.

So Seto sets him off on a quick bribe run, opening a list of different politicians and saying “Oh, this one’s super easy, go for it--he’s in my ass pocket, this guy. Hate this guy.” and it was...that easy for Seto to glide right into that Gozaburo lifestyle that he insists he totally doesn't do anymore. But youknow, with Seto Kaiba there really isn’t any good or bad just win or lose.

On the other end of the park, the choo-choo blue eyes white dragon train pulls in from death mountain, and once again the seating arrangement was really mystifying. Yugi in the very front, all alone. Tea sitting next to Tristan for some reason. Duke sitting next to Joey Wheeler, when I’m pretty sure Duke is probably the least comforting person in this entire group.

In fact all Duke had to say to comfort Joey was “you lost because you went up against a professional duelist!” and it’s like...at what point do you become a “professional duelist?” The game is fake. How many times do you have to save the world before you’re a “professional duelist,” Duke?

Course...maybe he has to get a high school diploma first...

Anyway, Joey spent the last part of this ride sobbing into the seats next to Duke Devlin while everyone else went “weee!” around the...molten pools of lava in this literal volcano that the Kaibas are pretty sure are a really good idea.

(read more under the cut)

Speaking of loss.

Grandpa Hawkins runs over to inform us that not only is no one watching his Grandaughter, but also, he lost a grown ass man because he decided to look for a doctor, couldn’t find a doctor, did watch Rebeccas match for a little while, listened to the part where she was like “I dedicate this match to my true love and boyfriend Yugi Muto with this sonnet I just wrote” and was like “normal thing to say!” and then finally found a doctor, who was like “well he’s not here so clearly he’s cured!” and charged Hawkins a bill despite Grandpa being no where to be found.

I can’t imagine the review that Hawkins is going to leave on Yelp.

Stepping away from thinking that Grandpa ditched his date with Hawkins to go on another date with some random theme park hussie, Yugi decides to ditch Rebecca, because he has way too many fake relationship plotlines in this group to juggle in his already double-stuffed brain.

And Rebecca takes it as if she kind of assumed this would happen.

Also in the actual canon of the show, Hawkins did not tell her that Grandpa was missing, or that Yugi would probably not be coming. Man these people love lying out their ass.

Speaking of being just completely flat on your ass, which happens so much this episode, they stumble upon Leon, who once again kind of comes out of the last place you expect and goes “Hello guys, I regret to inform you I still exist and I really need you to start noticing me already. I swear I will become plot relevant any day now. Please don’t forget I exist.”

...The Kaibas sure did make a tiny town. That sure is the only thing here.

Straight up, the Kaibas don’t know what fun is, and that is canon. And when I look across this landscape, I can only think of that one scene in Arrested Development where they made a very tiny city to convince investors that their housing development was actually legit and very real. And like I feel like the Kaibas would absolutely do that, too.

It’d be good for the gram...but this was before social media was a thing so what is this for?

I mean Leon sure the hell doesn’t know.

Local sad boy genius, Leon, here to get ignored by Rebecca despite being exactly her age, just like other local sad boy genius, Mokuba.

I really called it when I gave him Mai’s font color, huh? Good that even when Mai isn’t here, we can still have a chronically friendless character. But he is like...a lot more adorable than Mai was. Leon is just a lot more likeable. And again--really good hair color. Helps that he doesn’t want to constantly murder Joey Wheeler for no reason.

These kids came out of nowhere and can I just say it’s a really good thing someone woke Leon the hell up before the cameras arrived because that would have been SHOCKING if they all thought he was dead.

I love this boat.

Also Joey makes this observation and it was really funny the way he said it:

The sign that hangs above the park entrance that says “no one kidnapped in 1 days” flips back to 0.

I mean, we all know it’s Vivian, because it’s this global tournament where everyone is defined by stereotypes. But, I want to know how she got the panda stationary. That’s pretty good. There’s a side of me from my 11 yo self that never got over my sanrio phase collecting cute stationary with matching stickers and jelly pens to write 1 (one) letter and stuff it into a friend’s locker (and then have them say they cannot read my handwriting) and that part of me loves panda stationary.

Like if I got matching stationary with like...the matching stickers on it...in my ransom letter...damn that’s like seriously sentimental stuff. I’d feel a little ambiguous about that.

This town is the exact size that California was last season where you could just leap skip from Death Valley to San Fransisco.

And later we are...one step closer to Vivian. And if it’s not, and it’s actually like Bandit Keith on the other side of this door, I will be very happily surprised and this will be my favorite arc.

Also...please note that Joey is still wearing this duel disk after he’s completely done dueling.

Joey, please. It’s over, Joey. You live that Duke Devlin life now, retire the disk.

Anyway, until next time, this is the link to read these from the first to the latest:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Riverdale 5x09 Review

Well I didn’t hate this episode like I hated the last one but I wasn’t exactly blown away by it either. It wasn’t a bad episode but I think my issue with it is if you dropped it into the middles of season 3 or 4 it would have fit in. It was fine it was just nothing new which you know doesn’t exactly make me excited to watch more. It was definitely one of those episodes where I either found myself checking to see how long was left or was rolling my eyes at something. Still there were moments I enjoyed. But without further ado lets jump in. As always these are just my own opinions and interpretation also there are clearly spoilers. 

 Betty and Polly

So a good chunk of this episode was following Betty as she continued to investigate what happened to Polly after finding the crushed telephone booth. Betty hears back from Glen and is told that the blood found on the booth is a match to Polly’s so with the amount of blood that is there it is likely she is dead. When she tells Jughead he tells her that he might have a lead, someone who might have seen something. So they go to see My Dreyfuss. He tells them on two other occasions a phone booth has been shredded like it was with Polly, in the summer of 77 and 82. He explains that its caused by the Mothmen ship’s antimatter fusion reactors which create a gravity field that allows them to levitate but anything that gets caught in that field gets crushed. Which you know sounds legit to me. Though I will say I did think the look Betty sent Jughead when Old Dreyfuss started talking about the Mothmen was hilarious. Needless to say Betty wasn’t exactly sold on this version of events. Which again I found kind of funny considering she hunted down something called The Gargoyle King in high school but apparently aliens are even too weird for Betty. 

I am not at all surprised that Polly’s storyline is linking up with the Mothmen one, I’ve been saying for a while now that I thought all the storylines would converge at some point and I expected that Jughead’s and Betty’s would be the first to do that. My theory is that the Mothmen mystery is to do with military testing and that will tie in Archie as well, I also think as the Mothmen body Nana Rose had was found in the maple groves, and Hiram has an interest in the maple groves, that Hiram’s storyline will also be linked in, which will also link in Veronica and the other characters who are going up against Hiram to save the town. I did wonder if maybe its not really Hiram that wants Riverdale to be shut down but rather some rogue section of the military who want to cover up the testing they’ve been doing and that’s why Hiram unincorporated the town, maybe the military are paying him to help them. 

So in her grief at what has presumably happened to Polly has sent Betty off the deep end. Now here’s the thing with this I appreciate that not every character’s development goes in a straight line. That’s what makes a character’s storyline interesting. There are twists and turns and they have set backs. That being said this return to dark betty didn’t really work for me. I mean I can understand that she is grieving for her sister, she’s going through trauma because of TBK and all that is making her turn back to her dark side. But for me I thought they wrote a good end to that whole storyline with her going under the hypnosis and kind of telling her younger self she could go play, and basically ‘killing’ dark betty before she is ever born. I liked how, well how I thought they had brought a close to that part of Betty’s character development. I honestly thought we were done with ‘dark betty’. But I guess not. I suppose we see where they take it maybe it will be well written but I’ll be honest it did kind of make me roll my eyes a bit in this episode, I just feel like it was a bit too on the nose and predictable especially after her speech last episode to Archie about how this thing with her sister would probably be the darkest she’d ever have to face. I said to myself then watch them bring back dark betty, so when they did I was just kind of like of course they are going there again. I think that was the issue was it is just more of the same stuff which I just find boring. 

There was one thing that I did find a little interesting though and that was the way she was thinking in that moment. The idea that the person in front of her was a horrible person who had hurt someone she loved and so deserved to have justice brought to him in the form of death. Sound familiar? Because it should, its exactly the same way Charles thinks. I do wonder if that was deliberate and we were suppose to draw a comparison between Betty and Charles there. 

I think in that moment when she is about to kill the trucker, Jughead’s call telling her that Logan had gone missing reminded her of why she was an FBI agent, to protect people and I think that kind of snaps her out of it. In that moment she could have killed that man or she could go and find the missing child who really needed her and who needed protection which is what she was saying earlier in the episode, that she wouldn’t let what happened to Polly happen to anyone else. At first she decided the best way to stop anyone else from getting hurt is by going after the truckers and stopping the women who are tricking there. But her method has flaws in it and I think getting that phone call reminds her that its not as black and white as she was looking at it.   

So poor Alice, I felt really bad for her in this episode she does seem like she was very much giving up hope. I mean Alice has been put through the wringer so I don’t really blame Betty for lying about it being a match to Polly’s blood I mean it wasn’t advisable because the truth was going to come out eventually but I could understand why Betty did it, she just couldn’t bear to take away the little hope that her mother had left. I am glad that Betty turned to Cheryl for this. I said that I thought if it came out that Polly had been killed then I thought Cheryl would be the best person to help Betty through that. You know different people can help with different things and like I keep saying how I really do think Archie will be the best person to help Betty through the TBK trauma I do think that Cheryl was the best person to help Betty here. She gave her some good advice even if Betty didn’t follow it. I think it was important what Cheryl said about how it is best to know the truth because then that allows you to grieve and heal and move on. I also loved that hug Cheryl gave Betty. If anyone needs a hug right now its Betty. Also I do like when they show Betty and Cheryl actually acting like family. 

So lastly I want to cover Glen. I’ll be honest Glen and Betty’s relationship confuses me. Because in the first episode of the time jump they seemed to have something going on between them in that they kissed. But I said then that it didn’t seem like Betty was that interested in him. But since then it seems like she just doesn’t like him at all. I could understand why she was angry in this episode when he says he’s sorry about Polly and she says that if he cared that he would have done something to help. I know Riverdale are trying to paint Glen as this bad person, like how he shows up at the end and tells Alice about the blood and takes over the case. I just know that they are trying to do this because they either want Glen to seem suspicious or they are actually going to go the route of he is evil and somehow involved in it all. What I will say to that is oh for the love of god please no, not this crap again. I just if they make another FBI agent a killer in this series I just no. Can we not keep rehashing the same damn storylines over and over. Can we please introduce a character to the show and not have them turn out to be some psycho because its just boring now. Also like I said I know they are trying to paint Glen as being the bad guy here, but it makes perfect sense for them to take Betty off this case. For one she is still a trainee who is severely traumatised by her capture by a serial killer. On top of that this case involves her family member, there is a reason why irl certain professions don’t allow you to work on cases involving your family members and that scene where Betty had tied the trucker up was seriously considering killing him is why. Firefighter, police, doctors, paramedics and I am going to assume FBI agents aren��t allowed to work on cases of a personal nature for that very reason, they are too invested and that clouds their judgement. Glen should have taken Betty off the case when Polly first went missing, or rather Betty should never have been on the case at all. Also the other question I have is if Glen is here who the hell is feeding Toffee? He better have brought that cat with him. When I made my prediction post for episode 10 I hadn’t seen the episode and so was very confused at the opening shot of the promo where Betty is slapping Glen squarely across the face but I am going to assume it has something to do with this situation. Or maybe he tries to make a move on her and she isn’t down for it? Or another situation is he could find out about her and Archie’s arrangement and make an unfavourable comment about Betty which she decided to set him straight about? Either way there is most certainly going to be some tension between Glen and Betty next episode. What I do find interesting is that apparently the only actors Glen’s actor is following are Lili, KJ, Hart and Wyatt so I am assuming that he has scenes with Archie, Charles and Chic. I do wonder if instead of having Glen turn out to be bad they just have either Charles or Chic kill him. 

To be honest I am still in two minds as to whether Polly is actually dead. On one hand that was a lot of blood on that phone booth and we do know that she was in that phone booth and someone was coming for her. On the other it seemed like they were being very careful to say it was the same blood type as Polly’s and not that it was Polly’s so there is that uncertainty. I mean if they have the blood surely they would be able to DNA match it not just go off the blood type? 

Jughead and Lerman. 

Ok so I’m not hundred percent sure what the point of this storyline was, I feel like its just another piece of the puzzle and we won’t really know the significance of it until the rest of the mystery is revealed. But what did annoy me was the fact that Jughead was reprimanded for talking to his student who he was worried about. I mean when the parents were like oh if you were worried something was wrong at home then why didn’t you come talk to us instead of ambushing our son. I mean the answer to that is obvious if the parents were mistreating their son then talking to them isn’t going to do any good because the parents would just lie. Even if they aren’t really doing anything wrong like these parents they might be wary about telling the truth out of fear of being judged, I mean they didn’t offer up that information about Lerman sleep walking until he went missing, so I think talking to his student was exactly the right thing for Jughead to do. Also since when was there another English class, I mean I thought the school was struggling with staff and that's why they needed the core four to become teachers? 

It does seem like something odd happened with Lerman with him going missing and then not being able to remember anything. What is very odd is that you’ve got two sets of missing people. You’ve got the women who keep showing up dead usually with some catastrophic injuries. Then you’ve got the men who disappear for hours at a time but then return but have no memories of where they’ve been. Yet all of it seems to be connected so the question is why are the women dying but the men are surviving? It because physically the men are able to take whatever the testing is but the women can’t and so their bodies end up with these terrible injuries. Or is it that whatever they use to wipe the memories of their test subjects doesn’t work on the women so they are forced to kill them after? I mean physiologically women and men are different so maybe the difference in the hormones or something is what’s causing this difference in outcome between women and men. 

By the end of the episode Lerman and his parents have moved out of town and haven’t left any forwarding details. This does seem a little weird but I guess maybe the parents are worried about what will happen to their son if they don’t get him out of there. 

Veronica, Archie and The Bulldogs.  

Ok I know I said I wasn’t a v*rchie shipper and that as a barchie I didn’t want to see any of that, but Riverdale you didn’t have to stick them in the darkest room ever to have them kiss. Like I know that Riverdale is known for bad lighting but that one scene between them was even more ridiculous than normal. Look if you like V*rchie then that’s all good, there were some scenes that I think were probably enjoyable for you and I am happy for the V*rchie shippers. For me though I don’t know if its just because I’ve seen so much of them at this point that its made my mind go numb to them but I just found their scenes boring. I was actually surprised they didn’t talk more, especially seeing as they’ve just got back together, she’s going through a divorce, but none of that was brought up. Their scenes seemed to be really short and not much happened in them, it was just a couple of kiss scenes and then one bed scene were Veronica says oh I have a plan and then that was kind of it. I thought they’d at least have a scene where they say something like ‘I’m so happy we got back together’ or ‘I’ve filed the divorce paper’s I just have to wait for Chad to sign them’. Just anything to get that continuity, but nope nothing.    

To be honest I really wasn’t that fussed about the football storyline. I did find it kind of funny that when presented with the problem of the team losing every game Veronica’s solution was to just throw money at it, like somehow that would magically make them better players. That being said there were some elements of it that I did enjoy. I loved Archie making that speech to encourage people to support their team. It is true that having a crowd behind you and supporting you makes a difference in sports so I liked that they put some attention on that. I also love Britta and I am so happy she was the one that scored. The other thing I liked was that when the kid who was like their star player, Derek transferred to Stonewell there wasn’t any tension between him and his old team. Like I think Hiram was expecting there to be but instead when they met on the pitch he and Britta were really respectful and just fist bumped and got on with the game and I loved that. Also after, he came and spoke to Archie and again he recognised that Archie had taught him something valuable that he was going to keep with him. Again it was very respectful and supportive. Both Archie and the team recognised that it wasn’t personal, it was just that Derek knew he had a better shot at going to college with a football scholarship if he was playing with the Stallions. 

Speaking of things that I liked, lets give a hand for Reggie. I have so much respect for the fact that when Hiram was saying he wanted Reggie to basically beat up some of the Bulldog players, Reggie refused and said it wasn’t necessary. Then when Hiram fired or ‘benched’ him as Hiram put it Reggie still didn’t back down and even said that he would be standing with the Bulldogs. Also it was good to see him back in that Bulldog jacket and even though it was a very small scene I loved the three way hug between Veronica, Reggie and Tabitha. 

Ok the other thing we had was that part of the plan to raise the teams spirits was to fill the stands, which you know makes sense, like I said I do think having a crowd supporting you makes all the difference. Cheryl decides that one thing that will fill the stands isn’t just a Vixen’s performance but one that includes her. Now me personally I don’t think she’s wrong, like if I heard that the new Vixen coach who was the town recluse and had spend the last seven years holed up in her gothic mansion of horrors was going to be putting on a performance with her Vixens, I am there, front row baby. This I want to see, at best it might actually be good and at worst it’ll be a cringefest but either way it’ll be entertaining as hell. I just think that scene with Cheryl performing was peak Riverdaleness. I know alot of people complain about those kinds of scenes but me personally I think they’re part of what makes Riverdale, well Riverdale. So I just choose to embrace the Riverdaleness of it all.   

Overall I think the issue with this whole football storyline is it is once again the same thing we’ve been seeing for the last four seasons. It’s Veronica and Archie vs Hiram and that’s just nothing interesting about that anymore. 

Kevin

So Kevin got his own storyline this episode and we got a little background story on him. I’m a bit conflicted about his storyline and this idea that he is ashamed of being gay because I never really got that sense before. To be honest I always thought he was proud and confident of being gay. However I could see him having this experience with his mother where he feels ashamed of being gay when she makes a insensitive comment and then him getting into the whole cruising in the woods as a coping mechanism. It also explains why he still continued with the cruising when the Black hood was around. But then if I remember rightly he did stop for a bit. So maybe he started to heal a bit and become more confident and then that incident with the director from Katy Keene happened and that made him feel ashamed again and brought all that back up again and Fangs was away alot Trucking so he asks for a open relationship so that he can turn back to that old coping mechanism of cruising. That would make sense to me but they don’t really touch on that trauma he experienced in New York with the director in this episode. 

Cheryl acting as a relationship councillor was sort of amusing. I mean it was sweet that she wanted to fix Kangs, I think she recognised that what she did was wrong and so she wanted to help mend it. But like Fangs said the games Cheryl played just brought up deeper issues that were already there. I feel so sad for both of them. I mean Kevin is clearly struggling but I really felt for Fangs when he said that Kevin had never really been all in and that he wants to know everything about Kevin the good and bad. In that moment I could see that Fangs really does love Kevin. Also I think the fact that Fangs hit the nail right on the head with Kevin being ashamed of being gay shows that Fangs really does know and understand Kevin. I do feel like Kevin’s view on things right now is very similar to how Betty was seeing things with Archie. I think like Betty didn’t want her darkness to effect Archie, Kevin doesn’t want his to effect Fangs. Both of these views are flawed though because when you’re at your darkest that’s when you need someone to draw you back to the light. I do hope he talks this through with Betty and little because I think they could both help the other see the truth of their situations. 

The scene in the sauna was rough to watch. Kevin didn’t deserve that, it was an obvious mistake, he misread the situation and there was no need for that guy to react with violence unfortunately, its sad to say, but we live in a world where this kind of thing happens, where toxic masculinity results in males reacting with hate and violence towards gay men and that is never ok. I don’t think this helped Kevin in dealing with his shame at being gay, it most likely made it worse and that just makes me so so sad.   

I’m not gay, so Kevin’s story didn’t hit me on a personal level like I think it might have for other viewers, but his scene with Tom when he was talking about how he was made to feel ashamed of being gay really moved me to tears. I think it was a very touching scene and both actors did a good job. I am so glad that Kevin did open up to his dad. I also thought it was really good how when Tom worried that he might have done something to make Kevin feel that way Kevin reassured him that he had always been supportive of Kevin and had never judged him and I do think that is why Kevin felt he could open up to Tom. Just everything about that scene was done really well. I really do hope that he does find the courage to talk to Fangs about it though. I think Kevin does still love Fangs and its not that he doesn’t want to be with him, its that he doesn’t think that he deserves to be and that is just heart breaking. I still have some hope for Kangs though and I’m really hoping we get to see Kevin healing and working through things. I do think next weeks episode might help Kevin realise what he really wants. We know that he is in a potentially life threatening situation with a gunman in the school so maybe that makes him reflect on his life choices. Seriously though nothing better happen to Kevin. 

Little bits

Ok so these don’t really relate to any of the other sections really so I just figured I throw them all together at the end here. 

I loved that little parallel to season 1 with Barchie where Betty hears Archie over the speaker and sort of looks up at the sound of his voice. Also that shot of Betty working on the car I don’t know why but she looked really pretty, I really like her hair in that shot. 

Sticking with Barchie this one is a complaint about continuity. Riverdale seems to really struggle with this for some reason. But like I said with Veronica and Archie and how there didn’t seem to be any connection with the events of the previous episode this is the same kind of thing. Last episode Betty said she wouldn’t go through everything with Polly alone she would still go through it with Archie and yet despite there being big changes in the case Barchie didn’t interact at all. It could have been something really small like Betty giving Archie a call to let him know that Polly’s blood was a match and him offering her help, her saying no it was ok focus on the bulldogs, him telling her he was there if she needed anything. It isn’t much it wouldn’t have taken up much screen time but it would have given a link back to the previous episode. The same can be said for Minerva. Last episode her and Cheryl kissed which to me was a major development in the relationship and yet in this episode she’s no where to be seen and she isn’t even mentioned. Again Toni, where’s Toni? I thought they would at least mention something like she’s on maternity leave or something. Nope nothing. In fact the only link back to last episode we got was Cheryl talking to Kangs about the games she played causing problems for them. It’s just one of the things that frustrates me with Riverdale the lack of continuity.

No idea what this might mean if anything but did anyone else notice that when Dreyfuss started talking about the Mothmen ship his little burner with the teapot on it, suddenly the flame became higher before it went back to normal? Like there was some kind of energy in play there maybe? 

I was really glad to see Tabitha interacting with people outside of Jughead and I liked the little scenes she got with Veronica. I know Erinn said in her instagram takeover that Tabitha would be interacting with alot of the other characters too soon so I am looking forward to that. As much as I love her and Jughead’s dynamic I think it’ll be interesting to see her with others. 

Ok well that’s it for this week. I am still looking forward to next weeks episode. I do feel like this episode was a bit of a filler episode but next week looks like its going to be action packed so it should be a good watch.   

[sibyl-of-space]

Final Fantasy IX ~ Melodies and Memories

"Jesters of the Moon"

There are a lot of very good video games in the world, but it takes some luck and circumstance outside of a game's control for one to reach me at just the right time(s) and place(s) in my life that it has a tangible impact on who I am -- who I want to be. One that carves out a space for itself in my soul that will never be removed or replaced.

I've just finished playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time, and there's no doubt in my mind that such is the case here.

(Continued below readmore.)

I drew this art last year, when I was mourning my attachment to an old favorite game that I just don't feel the same way about anymore: Majora's Mask. I wanted to draw something that captured my feelings about it, because sometimes art is the best way to talk about something when the words don't want to come.

Why is "Jesters of the Moon," the name of a random song in the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack, plastered in the middle of this Majora's Mask fanart? Especially considering I hadn't even played Final Fantasy IX yet when I drew this?

The reason is exactly that "luck and circumstance" that allowed me to fall so uniquely in love with the game.

"Mt. Gulug"

In 2008, someone on YouTube uploaded a Majora's Mask parody-slash-let's-play series called "Majora's Mask: The Things Which Were Taken Out." The series has since become unlisted and won't be linked here out of respect for the creator who probably doesn't want things they said and made in 2008 being spread all over the internet, but because of Unregistered Hypercam 2 reasons, the series inserted other background music over the video and didn't record the actual game audio.

I didn't recognize any of the music, but I watched these parody videos on repeat because in addition to being funny (...at the time, in my mind, at least), I really really loved the music. It got to the point where I would sometimes be playing Majora's Mask and get disappointed when I approached Goht and the Mt. Gulug theme wasn't playing in the background.

I had forgotten about these videos for a really long time in the interim, but I remembered them at some point when I was thinking about Majora's Mask and I found them again. The creator had cited the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack for virtually all of the background music used in the videos, and I realized that despite knowing literally nothing about the game, I had become really fond of - and weirdly nostalgic for - the songs from it that I now recognized.

So I looked up "Jesters of the Moon" and played it on repeat while I drew out my feelings in colored marker. A few months later, I realized that my backwards compatible PS3 can also play PS1 games, and eBay had FFIX for PS1 at a good price. I had nothing to lose by ordering it and seeing what the source of all that fantastic music was like.

"Vamo Alla Flamenco"

I started my playthrough knowing nothing about what to expect from the game. I'd never played a Final Fantasy game before and my overall JRPG experience has been mostly limited to Tales of, Persona, and more recently, mainline Shin Megami Tensei. The only things I knew about Final Fantasy were a) the Tidus laughing scene, and b) Sephiroth. IX seemed like it had vibes I would enjoy, but beyond that I knew nothing about what the experience would be. So I approached it with a "let's have fun and see how it goes" attitude, naming my party members the first silly thing that came to mind, ending up with "Swaggy," "OwO," "Bitchin," "Gunz," and "SWOOORD" to start with.

(For the record I do not regret those names whatsoever.)

I was immediately struck by how differently the game uses music in comparison to all of my previous JRPG experiences. This was not a game where the composer was given a list of theme songs that were slapped on top of a mostly completed game-- this was a game constructed with the soundtrack in mind as a part of the writing process.

The opening act plays almost like an opera (side note, yes I know one of the other FF's has a literal opera, I haven't played that one): you traverse the same locations from different perspectives as different characters, introducing the cast with lighthearted humor and dramatic irony out the wazoo. While you traverse the city as OwO, OwO's theme is playing in the background, coloring your perspective of the city and the narrative. When you switch to Gunz patrolling around the castle, Gunz's theme accompanies your movement and informs his character and mission. I am so accustomed to "location themes" being the norm in virtually all video games that experiencing character and/or narrative themes as BGM instead while I bumble around town changed my entire perspective on what music in games can do and be.

The operatic feeling is definitely intentional, because the game uses a play-within-a-game narrative device to hit you over the head with its themes in a way that is somehow poignant and artful while also being extremely blatant. That is a hard balance to strike, but it manages. The whole game is like that: it is completely straightforward and tells you exactly what it's about at heart, but it does it beautifully.

At any rate, I was enamored with this intro and had a very fun time, but I wasn't obsessed or anything and ended up putting it down. I spent several months on the first half of disk 1 with weeks passing between play sessions. I liked the game plenty, but life stuff happened and I decided to get obsessed with Dai Gyakuten Saiban and Ghost Trick for a while. No regrettis.

It was already clear, though, that FFIX was going to be special to me. My compositions for my team's game in the Global Game Jam in 2021 were directly inspired by FFIX's opera-like intro. I wrote two character themes for our game that would serve as background music when you play as the two protagonists, coloring your journey differently even when moving in the same spaces. I was intentionally trying to mimic the way music is used in FFIX as an exercise. The themes I wrote are definitely some of my strongest work so far.

(You can check out the game here if you want, I promise it is significantly shorter than Final Fantasy IX.)

"Melodies of Life"

Music caused me to pick up FFIX the first time, and music caused me to return to it. After months of not touching or really thinking about it, just earlier this week I was inspired to play it again, because - again - I listened to the right song at the right time.

I was again mourning the loss of something, in this case a friendship, for reasons I'm not going to share here. I had already heard the song "Melodies of Life" because it came up when I was looking up FFIX songs to reblog on Tumblr a few months ago, and I decided to listen to it again. Even without knowing the game context, the song itself really spoke to me in that moment: "a voice from the past, joining yours and mine, adding up the layers of harmony" - it kind of made me feel at peace with the fact that I had a lot of positive memories of that friendship and I could keep those at heart while also moving on in the present. ...I'm also a sucker for music metaphors, so there is that.

I was really moved by this song, cheesy as it is, and I was also definitely in the mood for a distraction. Picking up FFIX again felt like the best move.

It was, and my life is forever changed.

The game never stopped being beautiful and funny and touching, and the soundtrack never ceased to amaze. I recognized concepts I've seen in other games but never had I seen them used so artfully. I adored the fantasy world and non-human cast, I found myself enticed by random encounter for the first time because it made me feel like I had to struggle to survive a difficult journey. Music, gameplay, visuals, and story felt like one cohesive work of art for the entire duration.

Life circumstances got me to play the game again, but the game itself was so captivating and wonderful that I binged the entire rest of it - disks 2-4 - in less than a week. Everything else that the game had to say, it told me itself, in its own context, and I was ready to listen.

"You're Not Alone!"

This is going to make me sound like an emotionally-stunted twenty-something, but it has been years since a work of media has got me to have a really good cry. I used to cry playing games all the time as a kid but recently I'll find myself getting emotional, sure, often tearing up, but getting completely red-faced and snot-nosed because I physically cannot contain the emotions being evoked by a work? Years. I can't honestly tell you the last time it happened with certainty.

I feel like an emotional band-aid has been ripped off. I was f*cking sobbing during the entire duration of the "You're Not Alone!" sequence. It didn't matter that what was happening was obviously coming from a mile away, because the delivery was so raw and emotional and human!!! A whole game's worth of Swaggy punching first and asking questions later to save his friends, being Protag McProtag endangering himself for others in any and all circumstances, for the payoff of all of his friends forcing him to stop being such a primadonna and let them help him for once. It's true, too! He relies on them just as much as they rely on him! And the game doesn't just tell you this, no, it lets you try to solo all these fights and waits until you realize how boned you are until they come bail you out.

When Bitchin showed up with her "looks like you need a hand" I wanted to straight up yell at my tv. YES I DO!!! YES I DO NEED YOU BITCHIN!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! I half knew that SWOOORD was going to heal me before I got truly KO-ed but I had been unmercifully wiped in "unwinnable" battles before in this game, so I legit thought I might have to re-do that whole part of the game again, and I was so relieved and thankful when she showed up and healed me.

This moment exemplifies everything that I adore about this game. It doesn't just tell you its story. It shows it to you, it sings it to you, and it and lets you play it out and feel it for yourself.

"Game Over"

This song is all too familiar to me. Gizamaluke's Grotto was very unforgiving for a first-time Final Fantasy player, especially one who didn't happen to pick up Big on the way for a fourth party member early on.

I hadn't heard the piano part in a few months, though, because when I picked the game back up I started just mashing to reload before it got to that point any time we wiped. I didn't hear it again until the game was truly over, this time for good.

I let it play for a while. Not too long, because I have a CRT TV and didn't want "The End" to get burned in. But a while. Enough to meditate on what I'd just experienced, and how I was feeling about it.

There's so much more to say about the game, far more than I could put in a blog post. But I don't think I need to describe these thoughts in words. I can do what the game did, and use music, use art, use stories, use metaphors, and use symbols to communicate what I mean; and hope that someone else is able and willing to listen.

And although a written record of my thoughts likely won't be preserved for all that long, maybe the feelings and the memories will be, so long as they have been shared.

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

[riskeith]

happy weekend dearest!

other than the snow angels, i haven’t done much.,, just been cozying it up with coffee and blankets at home hehe. 30 degrees... amazing. ideal feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather. 😌 bc of global warming we’ve been having some great summers these past few years. it even gets to 30 degrees as well which was unheard of tbh.

you’re so cute for caring ilysm <3 and aaa! a walk! do you have any perticular place you enjoy walking to or does the winds guide you, hehe? EDITING A FIC... 👀 i’m looking respectfully...... 👀 wait did the event open up for you already? i tried to play it earlier today but it wasn’t there yet... the lost riches one right?

bennett is best boy i still can’t believe it either!!! he’s seriously the cutest he just makes me so happy. when i need to explore and run around i always run with him bc i love his lines so much. what a bebie. you should go for it there are still some days left! + he’s a four star so he’s easier to get. GUOBA IS SO FUNNY he’s just.... a little fucking bear i can’t stop laughing... tbh the little creatures like amber’s bunny too just 😭 have you seen those yt clips of them dancing? obsession..

i need to ask you this bc when i found out i lost my mind: did you know that the japanese va for razor is also the va for tsukishima (haikyuu) and shigaraki (bnha)???? insane!!! it made me consider switch to japanese dub tbh.. which dub do you use?

maybe i’ll send you a little part and you can read or something shdkdhskdjdjf help 😳 it’s not edited or anything so it might take a while plus i’m super into writing bnha these days so.... but hey if You have any prompts you want to read maybe i’ll write a drabble for you. i don’t mind at all! <33333 ask for anything!!

(FIC-COLLAB!!:!/$:)!:&//&/!$:’sidnd HELP.... omg what kind of fic would we write....?)

exactly! i think when you realize that there’s nothing keeping you there anymore that brings you joy, that’s when you need to step back. social media is a bit fucked up that way imo. like you want to be there to be informed and to have fun but it takes so much.. hm. also you always tell me this but i wanna tell you to that YOU are the reason i enjoy social media these days so.. thank you <3

you relate to bakugou and lance? that’s super hot of you.. 🥵 my wifey is a self assured, super intense and talented person.. couldn’t ask for better tbh. i think out of them both i’m pretty much like todoroki.. we’re super similar in so many ways now that i think about it shsjdhdhdj.. how about we just stay c.r and m.a our dynamic is perfect as is LMAO

DOUBLE VENTI! I’D LOOOOVE THAT FOR US. bow users are difficult indeed but venti is one of the easier bow users it feels like... idk watching others game play he doesn’t have as much pushback as say amber for example. 12K PRIMOGEMS..... babe you’re getting your xiao!!!!!! how long have you been saving? also i seriously don’t mind if it comes down to it hakshddkhd i can be your genshin sugar mommy... ;) imagine a c6 venti though that seems insane. literal insanity.

SPEAKING OF SHIPPING.... THE POST YOU POSTED... THEY STOLE OUR IDEA AND IT LOOKS SO CUTE AND ITS CHONGYUN AND XINGYUN WHICH IS EVEN BETTER... THEY LOOK SOOOOO CUTE TOGETHER I’M OBSESSEDDDDD!!!! <3333 dude idk how but we are doing that co-op date somehow i’m super inspired i want that for us so badly... (also i need to say smth... my love language is when people say ‘i thought of you when i...’ and the fact that you said that just hsjdfhjdjdksk shit)

actually you’re right.. the only way we’d get a sequel is if they did something with the mfe fighters.. like kinkade james veronica nadia and ina. idk how attractive that would be tho...

i’m a lady, my dearest *dips* no but my pronouns are she/her!! sorry i didn’t mention it before i thought i made it clear shsjsjdkdj. ty for asking tho ♥️ super sweet!

AAA!!!!!!!!!! EEE!! i’m super super excited. if it’s like,, too public and you don’t just wanna post it i might think about exposing myself or smth... if that would make you more comfy. no matter what you do i’m just gonna be here buzzing, *hinata voice* one more one more one more.

oh!! i listen to everything but kpop sjdjdkdhdk i did have a semi-phase around like 2014-19 ish but dropped it pretty hard . now i have no clue what goes on there anymore i mostly enjoy rnb indie n rap/hip.. my gay ass was considering making a little playlist or smth for u but i want to make it with songs You’d like so i might pull up my old kpop faves hehe..

guess chilling is out of the question then, heh. hope you slept well!! i’m gonna try to wake up earlier so we’ll have a chance to send more messages during the weekend perhaps... mwah!!

YOURS, m.a. <3

happy weekend!!!! hope you can ease up a bit since there’s no school hehe

“feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather” FHSKFHKSDF yes!! but it honestly sucks when it gets any hotter bc we don’t have central cooling in our house so rip... and my laptop fan goes crazy ahaha. 30 degrees being unheard of.. can’t relate! fsdfjs. have you guys had to adjust to those changing temperatures? rip climate change tho :’(

<333 i do!! i usually walk to the local park and then the streets around that.. omg speaking of... do you play pokemon go? DHAFKHSDKFHSKDFHKSDH i got back into it again recently ahaha. it’s for a free bakudeku zine!! hehehe it’s out at the end of jan so 👀

i just checked and the event is open !!!!!!!!! good luck hehe !

yup lost riches!! and the event opens at 4am server time, so since i’m in asia i get it earlier hehe which colour seelie are you gonna go for tho omg i was debating it with my friend last night.. i’m gonna pick gold!!

baby bennett!! that’s true but i can’t risk getting a 5 star otherwise my pity will reset for xiao fhdskfhskjfhkjshkfj next time :(((( but albedo /is/ super pretty and i see a lot of people saying they like him... NO !!! xiao only >:( no omg i don’t think i’ve seen those clips ? is it mmd where they like dance to other songs and stuff ahah

yes i did!!!! and the VA for diluc is giorno from jjba and kuroko from knb!! omg wait and venti’s VA is hinata did you know that? fun fact i guessed it was him when i first heard his voice LOL that’s my secret talent 😩 and i use japanese dub!! i’ve considered using chinese too bc i can understand it but i just like the japanese voice actors tbh and also i can excuse it as “listening practice” AHAH

yes pls!! sending something bnha is fine too, or legit anything else lmao i’m open arms over here~~ 🤗👐 and ooft... it’s hard thinking of prompts that’s why i always ask others HSDKFJHSDKFHSD but i’ll let you know if i think of something!!!

(no clue!!!! but we could each write from a character’s POV so hopefully it’s more consistent 🤪🤪 idk i have no clue how fic collabs work AHAHA)

yeahhh one of my mutuals said “social media is a curse” and honestly hard agree.. we’re all kinda trapped in a way LMAO. and no pls don’t thank me.. you’re the one who found me first 😩💘 ily..

FSDHKJFS pls you’re making me blush come on 😳😳 but yes i love that for us... m.a. x c.r. the only valid ship 😩

woooo!!!! yeah you’re probably right, like given the fact he’s a 5 star his mechanics are probably different.. i know that diluc’s charged attack is different to the other claymore users so! IM GETTING MY XIAO!!!! and hm i’ve been saving since the middle of zhongli banner! so december 10 ish around then? dragonspine was a blessing tbh i reckon i got sooo many primogems from that. FGJKSHFKJSDHFKSDHSHKJFH my genshin sugar mummy 🥵🥵 c6 venti unstoppable..

AHAHAHA YEAH THEY LOOK /SO/ CUTE TOGETHER!!! i wonder how they got so many of the images tho like they must’ve been so in sync?!?!? ugh that could be us but no cross-server co-op be playin’.. (fhdskjfhdskjfhs um!! noted for future reference 🤪)

omg them.. i always forget about them LMAOOOOOOOOO ugh. actually i wouldn’t be mad if we got a prequel of like when keith was in the garrison... or even when shiro was with adam... ugh so much they could’ve given us and they chose not to

*waggles eyebrows* well hello there, m’lady ;) and it’s fine fhdskjf i had some inklings but didn’t wanna assume ya know? ahah :p

no!! it’s all g, i’ve thought about posting it before anyway. like, just releasing all of my WIPs and letting people do what they want with them HAAHA. (i could also just put the link under a read more and less people would see it, so it’s no biggie!) fkdshfkjs the hinata impression omg precious <33

FJHFDSKJ awks ahah which groups were you into tho! if it’s not like scarring for you to think back to LOL. and oooo i like indie too! i think.. or is it alt? honestly i don’t even know, tbh my music taste is pretty diverse and a mess, i can usually listen to a lot of things. except slow songs i don’t really like those hfdskj. and i don’t like rap too much either FHSDKJS whenever my friend gives me a rec i’m just like “oh i liked the singing parts in that” FDSKJF. a playlist tho huh 😳🥺

and pls!! if the weekend is your only chance to sleep in then do it.. for me 😩 i’ve been legit waking up at 12pm these past few days FKJHSKDF idek why like i’m sleeping 10 hours?? yikes. but as always i shall be waiting for your response <3 💌

[the-evanescent-inkwell]

11/11 (Make a Wish) Tag

Thanks for tagging me, @capshorty!

Rules: Answer the 11 questions of the person who tagged you; make up 11 questions; tag 11 people to answer them.

1.) How old were you when you realized writing was something you wanted to do? How old were you when you actually started doing it?

Funny story, I denied the fact that writing was my calling for like four years. I’m sixteen and I’ve been writing regularly (almost every day) since I was eleven. It took pretty much everyone who I let read my (very bad) earlier work yelling at me that most kids don’t sit around crafting stories and actually doing a decent job for a majority of their time. I didn’t really start taking myself seriously (AKA actually writing not just for my own amusement) until I was fourteen/fifteen. 

2.) What are your favorite fandoms? Do you read or write fanfiction for any of them?

Tbh, I go through fandoms like candy. Right now I’m into a few different crime dramas, but I’ve always been super obsessed with Star Wars and Once Upon A Time. I like The Umbrella Academy, Stranger Things, and Marvel right now. As for fanfiction, I’ve never actually written a legit, full-length fanfiction. I wrote part of one for Portal awhile ago, and when I was younger and got bored I would basically make up Star Wars fan fiction in my head, but I eventually turned that into an original idea, so I’m not sure if that counts. For the most part, all of my work is original. As far as reading fan fiction, I only really read my friends’ when they send it to me.

3.) What was your first story idea that you really felt was solid?

I never plan out my stories to any degree (AKA I’m horrible at outlining/following an outline so I have a pile of notes and cinema scenes in my head that I use), so the first story I ever really wrote to be published was a big deal because it was planned out. I had step by step planned out and I spent months on character profiles. It’s been two years since I finished the first draft and have been working on it every now and then, and I still feel like it’s pretty good. I don’t want to talk about it too much because I don’t know what the future holds for it, but I made some dumb memes on this account, so if you seen anything that mentions ‘AUT’, that’s the placeholder name for it.

4.) What’s your best solution for getting over writer’s block?

Just fucking write, man. Whenever I get a block, it’s usually on a boring transition scene I don’t want to write (most of my stuff is heavy in internal conflict and development, so I don’t like to write out of order, period, in case I lose the flow of my character) and for the most part I just have to rip off the bandaid and get into the exciting stuff. 

Granted, sometimes I also get writer’s block after I’ve been working really hard for a few weeks and I just run out of creative juice. When that happens, the best thing to do is just let myself recharge. I chill out, I watch some shows, I read some new books. I let myself rediscover my creativity before I hop back in.

5.) What book(s)/author(s) have you read that you think have influenced your writing most?

The Narnia Chronicles have honestly influenced my writing more than I would like to admit. I’m a fantasy geek all the way, but he was also the author that taught me just what you could do with a story. For instances, Narnia was a reflection of his faith. As much as I like to make fun of English teachers who are like “White drapes! It’s symbolism for freedom and purity! I don’t expect you to understand!” I love finding good meaning beneath stories and pretend the author leaves it there. I put a lot of focus on psychology and philosophy in my own work, and while reading John Green certainly hasn’t discouraged me, it really all started with stories that I grew up reading and found out meant so much more.

6.) Which of your stories was/is the easiest to write? Which was the hardest?

This might be a weird answer, but the ones where I can just write. Grimm’s Heights (go check out my Wattpad) was really easy to write because I didn’t care how bad it was. I just took a scenario and I let it unfold. I have a lot of stories that I write simply to write. There’s no pressure, so it doesn’t really matter how good it is. An Abundance of Dragons and The Limerence of Audrey Douglas are two of the hardest stories I have ever tried to write. Abundance is because I have such specific goals for it (AKA I want it to be wholesome and sweet, but I am Emo AF so no can do) and Limerence because I started it from a place of anger and betrayal and wanted it to prove a point to the person who made me angry. It’s easy to get dissatisfied when I don’t see myself moving fast enough, or I don’t feel like the story is as good as it was in my head, and that just discourages me from writing. Still getting better though!

7.) What are some of your favorite tropes to read/write?

Enemies to lovers. “But you gotta save the WORLD”. Love triangle but where it doesn’t end the typical way (AKA two girls fighting over the guy, but surprise they gay AF and start dating each other). Oh no, Character A is in trouble? And Character B arrives at the perfect time? Lovely! “I’m just an ordinary person.” WRONG!

8.) If you could date any fictional character, who would it be?

Tbh, I can’t think of a single character I’d actually want to date from anything I’ve read/watched. Even my own.

9.) What are some of your favorite things to do outside of writing?

Watch TV and read books, then mumble under my breath “I could’ve done it better.” I also like to take care of plants, annoy my dog, and go to iHop with my friends for no reason.

10.) Where would be your ideal place to live?

Rockies, like Colorado somewhere. College town. Just big enough to have a personality without traffic problems. I’ve lived in the Midwest (specifically Texas) for my entire life, so pretty much anywhere but here.

11.) What’s the most underrated book you’ve ever read? Most overrated?

People are always talking about Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings, but I’ve never heard someone other than my mom even mention the Belgariad series by David Eddings. It’s super great. It’s fantasy and it has different but very solid and real characters. It’s got humor, it’s got combat, and the world building is perfect for the story. The only thing I didn’t like was the final battle (I thought it was a bit anticlimactic), but I guess it’s about the journey, not the end.

As for the most overrated, there are a lot of books I could point out, but I’ll go with the Shannara chronicles. I don’t want to offend anyone, but I didn’t end up reading all of them, and I only watched part of the television series because it just made me soooo mad. I don’t want to go into it now (I could write a thesis on it, honestly), but the gist of it is that I liked the world but not the execution. I absolutely love a good post-apocalyptic fantasy, but I hated the story and the only character I actually genuinely liked was the only character killed off. The only reason I watched the television series was because my friend really liked it, and I criticized her taste a lot afterward. Anyway, I tried it because I heard great things, but it just didn’t do it for me.

As I’ve said many times before, I’m bad at these things because I never know who to tag. I spent like twenty minutes scrolling through some of my mutual writeblrs. As always, no pressure if you don’t want to do the tag! :) 

Tagging: @thepanickingwriter @bluewrites0 @gardamn @writings-of-an-elm-tree @writings-of-a-narwhal @ink-on-poppies @latechickadee @amerakandreamer @clarissalopeswriter @senawrites @the-violet-writer

Questions for YOU!

1. What was the first idea/project that you ever tried to write?

2. What is your biggest strength as a writer? What is your biggest weakness?

3. How do you stay focused while writing?

4. If you could have lunch with one character you have written about (original or from fanfiction) who would it be?

5. What type of writeblr posts help you the most with your own writing (advice, resources, word lists, prompts, etc.)?

6. What is the most mind-opening book you’ve ever read/show or movie you’ve ever watched?

7. Have you written fanfiction? If so, on what?

8. What is a book/story/poem/anything you were forced to read in high school that you actually ended up liking? 

9. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? What would you see? What would you do? Why?

10. What is the weirdest thing you have done/searched on the Internet for the sake of research?

11. If you could adopt any animal as a pet (and I mean any animal) what would it be? (Also, it can be extinct/not real)

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

PSA- How It All Went Down On February 10th

Today is the one year anniversary of when I got into Def Leppard, and how everything on this blog came to be becuase of today. Below is the entire story of how I came across Leppard, and how this blog came about. 

Happy one year!

Let me get one thing clear- I definitely grew up on Def Leppard in one way or another.

My dad’s been a huge fan since ‘83, so of course, I heard their music growing up. However, I didn’t exactly know it was them that I was hearing- I just always heard their name from my dad. I kept my own taste in music, and never paid attention to them (since I didn’t exactly know who they were).

So, the road to my current state of Leppard-loving actually began at the beginning of my sophomore year (fall 2016). For some reason I "rediscovered" Sugar (as in I never knew the title or the artist of it but always heard it as a kid) and started listening to it a lot. A lot.

During my sophomore year, I transitioned my music taste into classic rock. I don’t remember how this happened, but it was for the best.

 At the end of my sophomore year, I "rediscovered" Animal (same scenario) and started listening to it a lot, but never listened to any other song by them voluntarily. 

In the summer following this (summer 2017), whenever we burned a fire on our deck, we would always play Weird Al/ Electric Amish (stuff like that) when we were out there late at night. Eventually, one night in July, I was out of ideas of what to play so I asked my dad (a huge DL fan) what I should put on and of course he simply says "Def Leppard." I asked him what song and said to just pick one, so I thought, “oh god I don't really know any of their songs and I don’t know what he likes, what should I pick? Okay, I’ll pick one I don’t know. Let's just pick the first one that comes up that I don't know" and it just so happens that that one was Hysteria, and I put it on and immediately my dad goes "Ahh.. you had to pick this one...” and tilts his head back, looking up at the sky.

He then told me the story of the first time it was played for the rest of the band (which isn’t 100% true, but this is just what he knew) he said that one of the guitarists (it was actually Phil and Sav) played what they had so far for the rest of the band around a campfire like we were doing (which turned out to be some of Sav and Phil's Irish friends).

But it felt really cool being out there with this song playing, and it was the first time I had ever heard it, too. Hysteria was my favorite song within a week. But, still, I could probably only name 3 or 4 DL songs at this point (I apparently did know more, but none by name). Those 3 or 4 DL songs kinda defined that summer for me, funny enough.

October of 2017: I don't exactly know how it happened, (I think I heard it on the radio) but I rediscovered Photograph (I actually knew this one by name) and became OBSESSED WITH IT FOR ALL OF NOVEMBER. Making music videos in my head, writing it into my NaNoWriMo novel, listening to it whenever I could, just wow- I love it. That's when it became my favorite song of all time (and it still is- tied with Hysteria).

It's January of 2018 now, and I'm still cooing over Photograph and Sugar and Hysteria and Animal, then January 14th, 2018 comes around- I almost meet Rick by accident, then a week or so later I'm watching the Metal Mayhem block on MTVC...

A video ends, it fades to black, and then suddenly I hear that "pck......" pluck of a string that echoes away and my heart jumps- “IT'S PHOTOGRAPH OHMYGODOHMYGOD...!!” 

It occurred to me right then and there that I had never seen the music video before (or even considered that there may have been one)

It had ALSO occurred to me that I had never once actually looked at a picture of the band. I'd never seen their faces. 

So I’ve got a favorite song I’ve been obsessed with for a solid two months, I discover its music video, and look at the band who sings it for the first time- and who starts singing my absolute favorite song of all time but an absolutely daSHING young man in a Union Jack tank top and a white scarf.

And then he hit me out of nowhere and I actually said to myself "God... the lead singer's actually kinda cute... like... really cute..." followed by an "oh no" shortly after because I knew I'd eventually fall madly in love with this simply adorable man who sings my favorite song, and I’d remember that that is what started it all (but that's not what started it all. It was simply an “I’ve been down this road before and this is typically how it starts.” I was more shocked than anything that my dad’s favorite band had a pretty cute lead singer- like how was that possible?) I was now, however, teetering on the edge of falling into an obsession... anything could set me off. 

And it finally did- on February 10th, 2018. My dad was taking me to a drama club rehearsal, and Bringin On the Heartbreak came on the radio. My dad turned it up and went "Yes! Old Leppard!" and at the chorus I went "WHAT'S THIS SONG CALLED I THINK I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE"

It was just the chorus I remembered, not exact words, but it just sounded all familiar, the melody of their forces, the screaming of the words, I'm pretty sure I heard it a really long time ago. And thus, it had begun. I went home, I found it on our iCloud and downloaded it.

Then I remembered my dad saying something when he was drunk about how "I nEED ROCK. LIKE ROCK. I'M TALKING LIKE- PYROMANIA. TWICE."

So I thought "I really really like a small handfull of Def Leppard’s songs. I think I should listen to them more. I'll listen to Pyromania- twice." (I’d heard of the album beforehand but never listened to it- or had I?). So I did one day. I listened to it. Twice. And BOOM; there were at least 4 songs on there right off the bat I most definitely recognized. Turns out I did know a ton of songs by Def Leppard- I just didn’t know it was them.

And of course I looked into them a bit more, hearing about all their popular stuff, listening to all of Hysteria, FINALLY looking up that handsome son of a bitch's name (Joe), finding out that one of the main composers of my favorite song went and died before I was born (Steve), and finding their more popular songs, and listening to all albums soon enough. 

I kept going back to tumblr to find pics of them and such, but there weren’t a lot. There wasn’t much on here at all about them. Whatever I did find, though, I reblogged. I was straight up obsessed within days. That week was crazy for my old tumblr. 

However, at the end of the week, on Feb 18th, only a week after it all began, I accidentally deleted my tumblr account (long story, don’t ask). I was honestly devastated because I had it for almost 4 years and all that history was now gone in the blink of an eye. Within the hour, I restarted and created a new tumblr account. I was lost on here and didn’t know where to begin, or get back on my feet. For one thing, I got my old url back ( @mccoys-killer-queen ) and immediately made my background the same pic of the guys as it was before to kind of trick myself into thinking nothing had changed.

I was wrong, and that was a good thing.

I got back into a fresh new blog, and started going around to people and asking them to spread the word on what happened and to hopefully get most of my followers back.

To this day I don’t remember all of them, and that’s been a good thing so far.

While I was doing this, I started talking to @raised-on-radio (whom I had only become mutuals with about a week earlier), 

“thinking about legit starting a def leppard blog tho” I said in the tags of a post I reblogged. She sent it back to me saying that I totally should (thanks, by the way!). And while I wasn’t totally serious about it at the time, I thanked her for the support so early on.

The next day- literally- the next day (Feb 19th), I messaged her and said that I couldn’t help myself, and made a DL blog (you’re looking at it right now). I’d never had a sideblog before, but within a week, I really enjoyed it (and obviously, I still do). Upon looking at this dead/sleeping fandom on tumblr, I realized right away it needed some sort of revival- to become like other fandoms in the modern day. There was no fanfic (on tumblr at least), there were no memes (oh heLL NO there was not), there wasn’t much circulation of posts, and it just felt dead- which I KNEW it wasn’t. It was very far from it.

Over the next month or so, it seemed now that I was involved with the fandom, it was starting to awaken in some ways. There were people actually posting content, more people were making blogs, memes got involved (I’m taking the credit for that, lmao, it seemed no one else posted memes except me and @stupidpicturesofdefleppard ). I don’t want to say I caused this awakening, but it just seems that it happened around the time I got involved with everything. A divine coincidence.

The year that followed was amazing in so many different ways. In a year, I went from not even looking at a photo of the guys and not even knowing their names, to interacting/having one of them and their official twitter interact with me on Twitter a few times, to meeting one of them in person (and putting my arm around him and having him call me ‘darling’), to having a year long obsession that’s still going strong, to knowing much more songs by them than any other artist, to knowing more facts and history about them than anything else, to being able to recognize them if given the slightest detail, and to being absolutely in love with every member and everything Def Leppard has done (not in that order!)

One year later, here we are! The past 365 days since I first heard Bringin’ On The Heartbreak in my dad’s car has been one hell of a story that’s taken me months to completely type out, and I can’t thank everyone enough for somehow making me gain 364 followers in the past year for something I never thought would get off the ground! If I told myself a year ago that I’d be where I am now, I don’t know what I’d think of it. I’d think it absolutely crazy- which it is!

But I wouldn’t change a thing about the last 365 days, that’s for damn sure. 

Rock on, guys!

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Soulless Riffing: Brainless Epilogue

I got a supernatural action/romance book series as a gift that’s just riddled with stuff that I hate….and as a steampunk Victorian London action romance story filled with werewolves and vampires…it’s yeah gonna be easy to poke fun at.

I just want to say, it’s totally cool if you like this story or ones like it!  It’s certainly a better caliber than a lot of what I make fun of…however…I can’t help but want to make fun of it.

Over here for the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7+8, 9, 10+11, 12, 13, and 14.

HERE’S THE FINAL CHAPTER, STRAP IN MY HEARTIES!

Epilogue

So, dang, this epilogue’s pace is the worst.  It’s so bad, if I recounted the events in the order they appeared I feel as if this riff would have a bad pace itself.  

So there’s this detached, braggadocios tone that describes two separate portions of the wedding in two totally separate parts of chapter.  I can boil it down to this actual quote, “The wedding was hailed as a masterpiece of social engineering and physical beauty.”

It starts off with almost an entire page of describing the dress.  I mean sure, but fashion isn’t my thing so my eyes glaze over.  Also that they had to redesign the dress at the last minute cause Maccon gave her a hickey that needed to be hid.  And I mean, isn’t that what we need to educate our young women about?

Man’s every careless sexual impulse needs to be catered to even if it greatly inconveniences everyone else. Why can’t you just cover it up with make-up?  Why is this adult novel treating a marriage of adults like a middle-school dance? WHO KNOoooOoOoooOooOOOWS?????

BUT THIS WAS ALL FOR THE BETTER cause the neckline of her dress inspired London’s fashion for a whole 3 weeks.  

Here’s an accurate attempt at me trying to understand this, “I guess it’s nice to have rich idiots incinerate and rebuild their wardrobe because of a thing you wore once.  But why stop there? I’d create an army of genderqueer flannel-babies out to hate read harmless fiction.”  Yes Faps, your interests are clearly superior to those who like to dress feminine.  Way to go!

We have a full page on the food which was more interesting but in a limited way because I have not had guinea fowl, aspic jelly, pigeons, sole, woodcock pie, pheasant, or grouse. But like, I’m not uncultured or anything! I’ve had alligator meat before! ….oh damn my American is showing real bad right now. DON’T MIND ME I’M JUST GOING TO HIDE BEHIND A WALL OF IMPERIALISTIC WAR CRIMES! But that’s okay cause the British can relate to that.

Personally I’d much rather the story brag about delicious food it’s likely the audience has had before, than just throwing out stuff that sounds period appropriate.  Cause honestly? My imagination does not think any of that would be tasty.   My dream wedding is definitely forcing near a thousand people (most of whom I’ve met only once) to pick at gamey meat and envy my dedication to an inconsiderate buffoon.

But before the wedding officially goes down we have the one and only nice scene.  Alexia wakes up Akeldama early so he can see the sunset before her wedding.  There was no reason for her to do it that day, since it made her late to her own wedding, but dangit it was nice.

However the actual wedding? Phew boy, there is no talk of the actual ceremony.  In fact there’s no cute speeches, dancing, bonding moments between friends or family, or even funny drama of the werewolves clashing with the humans.  I mean it would have been super annoying to have a scene where Alexia’s sister shrieks at one of the werewolves for drinking punch out of a bowl like a dog, and when she tries to rip it from him it spills all over herself.  Cause there’s no reason to cathartically enjoy seeing her sister humiliated but dang…it would have at least been SOMETHING ALMOST FUN!

Three things happened during the reception.

1.)    Alexia and Prof. Lyall hook Ivy up with some BARELY named servant to Maccon and Lyall. Like, you realize the trope of shacking up the side characters is supposed to be this cute little tying together of established characters, usually very different ones? Like it’s supposed to kinda help wrap things up by having separate parts of the story literally cum errr I mean come together.  Like, the obvious and decent choice, would have been Lyall and Ivy.  Hell if you needed Lyall for other nonsense, why not that Haverblink hunk guy Ivy was I THINK drooling over?  Took a fun trope and wasted it.

2.)    Alexia is ~gifted~ the Vampire hive servant Angelique.  Gosh I’m super looking forward to the part where Angelique realizes vampires are chumps and betrays them for the super cool Alexia.  I thought since she was named and pleading with Alexia for help earlier, she’d be damsel’d, or comes back later with more secret info, or was the villain mastermind AFTERALL! NOPE!  This human person with a name, hopes, fears, goals, thoughts, and emotions of her own is given like a decorative silverware basket as a GOD DAMN WEDDING GIFT! AND ALEXIA THINKS THAT’S FINE CAUSE TO HER HUMAN BEINGS ARE PROPERTY AND SHE’S OUR RACISM FIGHTING HERO! HOORAY!

3.)    Sorry to save the most tepid for last but the last thing of note is that Maccon’s werewolf pack, as part of werewolf tradition turn into wolves and just circle around them barking and howling….okay cool cool…but have you considered the more wolf thing to do would totally be for all of them to pee on her. ONE AT A TIME, THEY’RE CIVILIZED!  Her new husband gets all offended that she’s upset at this wholesome tradition.  Alexia secretly plots to bring supernatural genocide back into vogue again.

So on the carriage ride home they fuck but we have an entire book worth of build up for this scene to last 1 page.  Like, I wasn’t even looking forward to it but was still disappointed.  And, of course, this is one of those books that can’t directly mention SEX PARTS which SPOILER ALERT usually makes it confusing if you can’t be fucking straightforward.  Despite being all coy about it there’s the iffy phrase, “had Alexia squirming in such a way as to force the very tip of him inside her whether she willed it or no.”

Yeesh! As hot as you folks may find ravishment, it feels really out of place with a woman who’s supposed to be super horny and into her husband for it to still be written noncommittally like ravishment.

But with a lurch of the carriage he’s blamo balls deep and she says out loud that it hurts.  He DOES look worried and ask her if it still does. So kudos!  However there’s this infuriating line

“Something extremely odd and tingly was beginning to occur in her nether regions.”

Okay you weren’t aroused until he was balls deep, and we’re going to describe this as if a 26 year old woman (whom by the way has described being aroused by this man before, and describes being fascinated with her dad’s dirty books) is bamboozled that a dick in her made her horny.      

(Man looking confused and a bit suspect as he says okay.)

Also “It culminated in the most intriguing second heartbeat emerging around the area where he had impaled himself.”

WHAT!? YOU CAN’T SAY PUSSY BUT WE’RE GOING TO THROW THE WORD IMPALED IN THERE?

(Brittney Spears looking cringed out.)

That gives me the yikes.

She flops over after what sounds like 2 minutes of porking to remark, “Ooo,” said Alexia, fascinated, “it shrinks back down again.  The books didn’t detail that occurrence.”

OKAY 1ST OF ALL YOU LEGIT SAW THIS HAPPEN BEFORE WHEN YOU WERE DRY-HUMPING IN THE DUNGEON, BUT EVEN IF YOU HADN’T, WAS SHE UNDER SOME DELUSION THAT WHEN A DUDE GETS HIS 1ST BONER THAT’S JUST WHAT HIS DICK IS NOW?

YOU’D THINK CODPIECES WOULD STILL BE IN FASHION IF EVERY MAN IS SLINGING AROUND HIS ERECTION 100% OF THE TIME!

WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID ALEXIA!?

If you wanted a cute little sexy thing to mention…why not, “Oh my dad’s books never mentioned that it throbbed! Or that it could twitch! Or that it got SO red! Or that it got THAT hard, it’s only full of blood afterall!”

LE SIGH!

So the story ends with the prospect of them gonna fuck sum more.

Say something Nice Faps:

I legit really liked that brief scene where she holds Lord Akeldama’s hand as they watch the sunrise, and he’s crying, and she’s got her head on his shoulder and just PRECIOUS!

Out of the things to brag about at a wedding, food is the top of my list, I can appreciate that she dedicated some time to it.

The sex had a bit of that ravishment flavor but Maccon does check in, and she admits she enjoys it.

IT’S OVER!

[transgendermusic]

A.W. Weiss on Living Room Tours, Their Dead Name, and Still Being Emo

Listen to Season 1, Episode 3 of the Trans Music Podcast by clicking the player above, or listen on: iTunes - Spotify - Stitcher - Google Play Music - Bandcamp

Do you know that Robyn song, Call Your Girlfriend? Well for a long time, I thought it was written by this week’s guest, A.W. Weiss, because their cover of the song is just so great.

I’ve listened to A.W.’s music for a long time, so I was so excited that I had the opportunity to interview them when they stopped in Chapel Hill, North Carolina on their living room tour a couple months ago. We had to do the interview pretty quickly, because they had a show to put on, but we still got to talk about their new sound, their new country music project, and transitioning as an already-famous person.

Riley: So the last time that I saw you play was in 2015. You were on tour with Mal Blum and Kid in the Attic promoting your last album; it was really good. A.W. Weiss: Yeah, that was a great tour. And since then, you've changed your name…

Mmhmm.

Come out as nonbinary…

Yup.

Gone blond…

Sure have!

And left your label.

Ha! Well, my label left me, but that's a whole thing in and of itself. Do you want to talk about it?

If you want to kick it off. Yeah, let's kick it off with that note! Kick it off with that! Earlier this year, the label I was on decided to not be a label anymore, which is a bummer, 'cause they were really cool before. And then they kind of restructured, I guess we'll say, to be diplomatic. They're not putting out records anymore, essentially.

Okay, so it wasn't just you. No, it wasn't just me. It was everybody on the label. How do you restructure and not put out records anymore? You become what is called a catalog label, which means you just keep making the stuff that you've already made and sell it online and distribute it, and stuff like that. Super boring. Essentially not a label. Sure, like a copyright holder. Yeah, something like that. So yeah, that's kind of what happened, which was at first really scary, 'cause I was under contract to make a couple more records with them. So I was like, "What am I gonna do now?" But I'm sort of embracing being independent. Cool. How is touring without label support? You know, I've never really had label support because I've never been on the kind of label that really gives that kind of support, as far as financial stuff goes. So I'm kind of just touring the same way I've always been touring, aside from the fact that this particular tour is in people's living rooms instead of in venues.

Has it been cool playing small shows? Yeah, I love it personally. It's been kind of my favorite way to tour so far, actually, 'cause I feel like the way I perform, especially when I'm solo, really lends itself to this super intimate... like, I talk a lot, so it's nice in people's living rooms. It makes more sense than in a bar. Sure. I'm excited to see part of your set tonight. It's been fun.

Say What You Mean by A.W.

An old song of A.W.’s that I sing in the car a lot.

So you're playing just you on guitar?

Yep, just me.

That's really cool. 

Thanks! 

Has it been hard promoting stuff with the new name?

Yeah, and I am totally cool with people saying "(formerly Allison Weiss)" in parenthesis, or whatever, but also, because I'm so excited about the changes and everything, I just kind of forget to tell people that's okay. And I think people who promote the shows are very nice, and so they don't automatically assume they can say that, so then as a result... I actually had the first show of touring in L.A., somebody came to the show and he came up and talked to me at the merch table afterwards. He was like, "You know, it's really funny, I've been listening to your music for 10 years, but I didn't realize until I got here, because I just got the email in my inbox that said 'A.W.', and I was like, 'Oh, that sounds cool,' and then it wasn't till I was watching you play that I recognized the songs and was like, 'Oh, I know this artist!'" 

So I love that somebody literally came to a show just because they were like, "Oh, whose mailing list is this?" And then they realized at the show that they already knew who I was.

That says good things about that person. That's adventurous.

Yeah, it does, actually. That's an adventurous person who's just down to go see a show.

It's actually really nice to hear that people don't assume they can deadname you all the time.

Yeah, right? It's been cool, actually, that that hasn't happened. I mean, the only times it really happens is people accidentally come to shows and don't know. And they'll be like, "I'm so excited to see you," and use my old name and stuff. Then I usually don't say anything until I'm onstage, and then I announce it, and I'm sure they're like, "Oh no!"

Oh, God. So you have to come out constantly.

Yeah, I kind of have to come out constantly. But I knew, because I've been playing music for 10 years under my old name, that that was gonna be something that was gonna have to happen. So I'm prepared for it.

That's still rough.

It's still rough, but I'm prepared for it, so it's okay. You know what I mean? That's how my weirdo brain works. I feel like if I can prepare for chaos, then it's not as stressful.

I can see that. I can definitely see that. So tell me about your new country music project.

I've got a new country music project. It's, like, Americana. I actually don't really know how it's gonna turn out recorded. All I know is when I get back to L.A., I wanna play some shows; I wanna be a band. But I've been writing a bunch of songs on this tour for this project, which I'm calling Charlie Mountain. [Note: it’s spelled Charlie Mtn.]

Solo for now? Yeah. Well it's funny that I have a new band that's also just me. So I intend to perform with a band, and solo sometimes; we'll see what happens.

What inspired you to go in that direction? I sort of realized that a lot of the songs I write start out as folky country songs, and then I will produce them into pop songs. But then, especially on older records, there always ended up being soft, folky, country sort of songs that didn't, to me, really fit in with the other ones, but I put them on there anyway 'cause I really liked them. And now that I, with my A.W. project, am moving even more in the pop vein, the folky stuff fits even less. It's funny because I don't really have a southern accent, but when I saw your name it really comes out, 'cause I keep wanting to call you "A. Dubya." A. Dubya! You're right, it just rolls off the tongue! [Both laugh]  Every time I'm telling people, "Oh, I'm gonna interview A. Dubya this weekend," it's like, no. No, I like it! A lot of my friends have taken to calling me "A. Dubs" or "Dubs," or stuff like that. Or "Dubya" even, which is funny 'cause of the ex-president. But I don't mind it; I like it.

So you just put out a single, Different Now.

Yeah, a couple weeks ago. And you did it alone. Tell me about making it, putting it together, deciding to release it. Well, it was a song that I recorded. I originally intended for it to come out at the same time as the last single I put out, which was Runaway, like a year or so ago. And then stuff just kept getting delayed with the label and we didn't really know what to do with it. So it was just like, delay, delay, delay, delay. And then finally I was like, "Man, I really love this song, and my voice is changing. I need to get this out before it's too different from how I sound right now, before it's weird." So I used TuneCore, one of those do-it-yourself things, and just put it on Spotify, 'cause I was like, "Who cares? I just want it out. I just wanna put it out."

It's a great song. It's also so pop. It is 100% pop music. Thank you! I really love how it turned out, and I hope that a lot of people hear it, but you know what? If they don't, that's chill too. Oh yeah, so you have to do all the promotion yourself? Yeah, pretty much. Man, okay. I put it on the website. I really like it. Thank you! I love that.

You just got married recently, right? Two years ago now. Two years on October 29, yeah. Congratulations! That's what I'm trying to get home for. It was like, "You can go on tour all by yourself for a whole month as long as you're home by the anniversary," and I'm like, "Okay." Gotta like, drive across Texas. Get home. That's reasonable. So you write a lot of love songs. How has the love song writing process changed after being a married person? Oh my gosh, I love that you asked this because I literally have a bit that I say on stage about how people ask, "How do you write songs now that you're in a relationship?" And I say, "Luckily I never get over anything," which is legit how I write songs. I have a stack of journals from my youth that sometimes I go through. I'm a very nostalgic person; I'm also a very obsessive person, so I can go over the same memory a billion times for my entire life. Just keep mining it for that material. Exactly! Straight up, that's a good way to think of it, yeah. I mine every heartbreak I've ever had for those types of songs, for sure. You're just like, "I've been happily married for 20 years, but man. That girl in high school? Fuck that girl." There were straight up songs about high school relationships on the record I put out in 2015. So yeah, you're not wrong.

They hit you really hard though, high school relationships.

It's true, they're some of the most powerful. I've actually been trying to embrace the way that I felt then as something that I can still feel now as an adult. 'Cause I feel like there's the label of being emo, and that sort of shit. But I feel like, thanks to the internet, there's a whole community of people who are my age still, and who still wanna talk about feelings, and listen to emo music, and be nostalgic, and still do that. So I'm like, "I don't need to necessarily grow up. I can still be emo and write emo songs." I feel like as you get older, your friends also don't wanna hear about it. Like when you're 15, your friends are all like, "Oh my God... so dramatic." And then when you're an adult, your friends are like, "Oh, they ghosted you? Cool…?" Yeah, they're like, "Oh yeah, that's because you're..." Yeah, I don't even know what they're saying. But totally. Friends don't care as much. So I can write those things into songs. So what's next for you? I am figuring that out. I think that's what part of this tour is about for me. Since I decided to do this by myself, I don't have anybody helping me drive, so it's just me out here, all alone. I'm trying to figure out what I want and what I wanna do. And I think that that's just, like, write songs and play shows. So I think I'm gonna be doing a lot more of this living room touring, because for someone like me, I've got a smaller, but very excited, rabid fanbase. So playing these living room shows is a way that I can do what I do, and it's still sustainable, so it's pretty exciting. I'm actually really stoked on it. So hopefully I'll put together another one, maybe for the spring or something like that. And then I wanna make a Charlie Mtn. record, and I gotta make a new A.W. record, so, just gotta write a lot of songs. 

A song from the Charlie Mtn. project that was in the soundtrack to Far Cry 5, a video game.

It's been going well, though? 'Cause you're halfway through the month.

Oh yeah, it's been great. I love it. I'm kind of sad that it's gonna be over soon. But I'm sure after driving 36 hours through Texas, I will be ready to be home. You know, maybe sleep in my own bed.

I'm sure. That's really cool. [Notices the time is 7:52 pm] So it's about time for you to go on stage-

I love that you say "on stage" too, because it's just my backdrop I set up. And I get on stage at, like, 7:59 for the 8:00 pm show. 7:52 pm is like, "We've got plenty of time." 

Just for context for those listening, what kind of car is this?

This is a sweet Chevy Malibu. I think it's the newest one; it's a rental car.

We're in a rental Chevy Malibu in someone's driveway in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. They are about to go on a stage that they constructed out of poles and cloth in someone's living room. There's about eight queers sitting on the couch.

So far! Hopefully there's more by the time it starts. I think this one's 15 people maybe, so it's gonna be nice and intimate.

A.W. in their rented Chevy Malibu

We've literally watched people walk around the car trying to find what door they're supposed to go in, 'cause it's just someone's house. And everyone seems really excited. It's really cool.

Yeah, I think it's gonna be good. Well, thanks for talking to me. Yeah, thank you for chilling in my rental car. Oh yeah! [Both laugh] 

After we stopped recording, I was able to stick around for half of A.W.’s set, but I had to leave early to go play a show of my own! One of my bands was playing a local music festival. A.W. was sweet enough to come and watch me play, and then we walked around downtown Chapel Hill at midnight taking the pictures you’ve seen throughout this post.

A.W. Weiss is an LA-based pop musician originally from a small town in Georgia. Find them online:

Music: http://listentoaw.com Graphic design: http://wereolfgf.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/listentoaw

Find us elsewhere on the internet:

iTunes: https://apple.co/2QshVNS (If you have an iTunes account, please leave a review!) Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2Flad6m Google Play: https://bit.ly/2CUF9ZT Our Website: https://transmusic.org/tagged/podcast Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr: @transgendermusic Twitter: @transmusicorg

[canaryatlaw]

OKAY. well today was pretty sweet. I had my alarm set for 10:00 am but ended up waking up at 9:42 am and just said fuck it and got up. I checked my messages and as expected I had a message from Jess asking about getting brunch and then confirmed our plans for the rest of the day. I got dressed and we met up at the spot, which had more people around it than usual because the place that’s right there was doing a branding makeover and I got a free sample of pie so that was cool lol. we went to the vegetarian place for brunch, and while we were eating it started snowing which is super fucking annoying because it’s the fucking END OF APRIL we shouldn’t have to still be dealing with this lol. we had some autographs to mail out and the ups store is right next to the vegetarian place so we ended up going there once we finished eating and mailed the two domestic ones, I have the international one that I’ll mail from the post office on Monday because ups has an international surcharge that would’ve made it super fucking expensive to mail from the ups store. once that was done we walked back through the snow to where Jess had parked her car and started our journey for the day. we were heading up to the suburbs because Jess had managed to get some emissions check thing get lit up in her car because she tried to top off the gas but apparently her gas tank is very sensitive (it’s one of those that doesn’t have an actual cap to it) and according to the internet it was something about a software error that was recalled because of it so basically we had to bring it up to the dealership so they could fix that, hopefully for free, and that is what ended up happening, we brought it in and told them what was going on, they took a look and confirmed what they had to do, so we waited for like 45 minutes or so (I wasn’t actually keeping track of the time but it was around there) until it was done and we were good to go. It had overall taken less time than we’d expected, but we moved on to the next part of our plans, which was late lunch at the cheesecake factory, then we would return to actually get cheesecake after we saw the movie that evening. Since it was, you know, lunch time, we could get the lunch sized version of the pastas we always get to which I was like wow I could actually finish this! and then my acid reflux kicked into high gear for no particular reason and I was like okay I can not in fact finish this, so sadly I didn’t end up eating all that much of it. The movie showing we had tickets to wasn’t until 5 and at that point it was only a little after 2 so we checked to see if we could get tickets to any earlier showing, but they were all sold out, so we just had to kill some time. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue since there’s a whole mall there, but given that it was still snowing and it’s an outdoor mall made it a bit trickier. but we started at forever 21 as always since it was right there and had big signs for sale lol. we each ended up getting something from their buy one get one free clearance, Jess got this hideous jacket (she enjoys ugly clothing) and I got a somewhat equally hideous (as do I sometimes) cardigan along with a pair of floral pants that I saw and knew I needed in my life, then when we were going to check out there was a pair of “avo-cat-o” socks, which had an avocado with a cat peeking through where the pit would be on them so of course we had to get those, and then we picked up a bag of hi-chew at the counter. Once we checked out there we walked around a bit and went into a few stores in search of sunglasses, and ultimately ended up each getting a pair from Francesca’s. We continued to wander for a bit and got bubble tea at some point (where I could confirm I have the legit stuff they actually use, so that was validating) then waited for the movie theatre to start letting people into the theatre for our showing. In case you haven’t figured it out by now, of course we’re seeing Avengers Endgame, THIS POST FROM HERE ON WILL CONTAIN ENDGAME SPOILERS, I WILL TRY TO TAG IT WITH EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY BLACKLIST BUT READ ON FROM HERE AT YOUR OWN RISK. We got some popcorn and waited in the fancy theatre for it to start. Overall reaction, I liked it a lot, I really wasn’t crazy about Infinity War so I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this but I ended up liking it a lot. I thought it was a very good choice narratively to have Thanos get offed way at the beginning of the movie (to be fair to Thor, if I were him I probably would’ve chopped Thanos’ head off as soon as they got in the door, so I can’t really blame him) and then focus the movie on bringing everyone back, only to bring him back in the end, that was good storytelling IMO. THAT HAIRCUT THOUGH, I was dying, just looking at it like I. NEED. THIS. that haircut spoke to me okay lol, my hair is longer than it’s been in like three years right now but it’s not going to last very much longer. I probably can’t get that exact haircut because, you know, work shit, but I’m sure we could figure something out. I was kinda disappointed that she wasn’t in more of the movie, her presence in the beginning was perfect, I was dying when they were like “where are you going?” and she’s just like “to kill Thanos, I’ll let you know when I’m done” so nonchalantly and perfect and like, the scenes of her coming through the atmosphere and everything was so damn cool and GAH I LOVE HER SO MUCH. I had gotten spoiled, willingly though because I don’t really care about these things, as to the two major character deaths of the remaining alive characters, but that definitely did not make it any easier to see. MORGAN STARK IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS I would die for her and also I’m so fucking glad they didn’t have Cassie Lang get dusted because I would’ve been pissed about that, Scott coming back from the quantum realm and finding her five years later was so damn emotional, it killed me. I appreciated them finding Thor in what was clearly filmed in a coastal new england town, getting fat and playing video games, lol. I know of course him looking fat was fake, but it looked so damn funny. I do take issue with several of the choices they made with how the time traveling was working because there were definitely quite a few logic jumps in there that went unexplained, but for the most part I’ll give them a pass for not wanting to get too into the nitty-gritty of it all. Their journeys into the past were interesting, the New York trip was great and everything involving Loki, I was fucking dying when Cap was just whispered “heil Hydra” and they just totally handed over this huge weapon to him 😂that was pretty funny. Then there was their trip to the 70′s, which messed with me that 1945 would only have been 25 years prior to 1970, like that kinda blows my mind lol. Tony’s whole conversation with his dad was so damn precious, I was like ready to cry at any given point really, and then there was Steve getting into Peggy’s office and watching her and not doing anything and I was like UGH you’re killing me Rogers lol but at least they got back to that at the end. Then there was Clint and Natasha on the planet with the soul stone that randomly featured red skull?? not sure where he came from. that whole sequence was so fucking heartbreaking, they really did it so well, and I definitely cried when they were literally trying to jump off the cliff before the other because they didn’t want the other person to sacrifice themselves, but in the end Nat gave her life because Clint had his family to get back to and man I had all the feels. Then of course there was our third team with Rhodey, Nebula, and Rocket, who end up tying Thanos back into the plot again, which was interesting but ultimately well done I think. When they all got back to the Avengers headquarters and Nat wasn’t there I was like 😭this is so damn sad. but then of course they’re able to have Hulk!Banner snap and you just get the first hints of it working before they immediately get launched into a huge battle. Not gonna lie, for a while there it was looking like they were really fucking screwed when they had armies upon armies ready to fight them, BUT THEN THAT SCENE where everyone comes back god I was crying, it was so fucking perfectly done I just cried at all of it, getting to see everyone back like that in such a triumphant way was too damn great. I liked that when Captain Marvel showed back up she was legit able to take on Thanos and literally had to be stopped by the full power of an infinity stone. I ultimately liked how they did it with the stones going to Tony while you didn’t realize it until Thanos snapped and you see all of them with Tony, and he then snaps and all of them turn to dust and just like, it was so great. Now of course I knew Tony was going to go, but I was glad it was ultimately the most heroic thing that really saved the day, he truly went out as a hero that saved literally everyone in our universe, which is really quite the achievement. The funeral scene killed me of course, especially with the little girl, but you know she’s gonna grow up surrounded by all these awesome people and she’s gonna end up being just fine. I was at least glad they put the stones back in where they were taking from, even if their time travel theory was flawed in a few parts. Cap coming back as an old man after having lived his life with Peggy was so damn good, I cried just because it was all so damn good and pure. And of course we had Peter meeting back up with Ned which was the cutest damn thing really. and yeah, I guess that’s it. I did like it a lot and will probably watch it again at some point once it’s available outside of theatres. Once we had confirmed there was no post credit scenes (thanks internet) we headed out and walked back through the snow (because it was still snowing like 10 hours after it started!!!) to the cheesecake factory where we ended up doing apps and dessert, except we didn’t get quite through our apps and ended up taking the cheesecake home with us. We split the fried mac and cheese balls and Jess got a salad, and I got their grilled artichoke which I’ve had before and is always really good, but takes forever to actually eat (so many layers!!) so I ended up taking some of that home too. Thankfully the snow hadn’t managed to stick to the roads much at all so the drive home was mostly safe. Jess dropped me at my place after she was convinced it wouldn’t be covered in snow (they’re bad about plowing the side streets, but none of the snow ended up sticking on the roads so it was ok), I put my stuff down and then grabbed my pajamas to get in the shower and get ready for bed and then started writing this, and now I’m here. It’s 12:34 am and I did volunteer to take a shift in the babies’ room at church tomorrow morning so I should definitely be getting to bed now. Goodnight loves. Hope you had an awesome Saturday.

[mymusicmemories]

Brian Wilson - July 1st 2015 - PNC Bank Arts Center, Holmdel, NJ

Set 1 -

Our Prayer

Heroes And Villains

California Girls

Shut Down

Little Deuce Coupe

I Get Around

Drive-In

This Whole World

Then I Kissed Her

Cotton Fields

In My Room

Surfer Girl

Don’t Worry Baby

One Kind Of Love

Sail Away

Wild Honey

Sail On, Sailor

Darlin’

Wake The World

Busy Doin’ Nothin’

Surf’s Up

The Right Time

Runaway Dancer

Wouldn’t It Be Nice

Sloop John B

God Only Knows

Good Vibrations

Encore

All Summer Long

Help Me, Rhonda

Barbara Ann

Surfin’ U.S.A

Fun, Fun, Fun

Love And Mercy

On the morning of Wednesday July 1st, 2015, I woke up and went to work. It was just another nothing day, just like the day before and how the next day would be. Around 10am, I checked my email and opened what I thought was spam, but I opened it anyway. It said that I won two tickets to see Brian Wilson that night at the PNC Arts Center. I didn’t believe it, mostly because I didn’t remember entering any contest. I replied to the email and it was legit. I must have entered some Facebook giveaway months earlier. It was a little over cast so I called, still not fully believing I won anything, to see if these were lawn seats. They assured me that tickets are good seats and would be waiting at will call.

I called my wife and told her we were going to see Brian Wilson tonight, I told her about the emails and the phone calls and to be ready around 3pm. She then reminded me that we have two kids. So I was bummed, and said I guess I won't go and she suggested I take my oldest son, Patrick, who was 8 at the time. I really never thought about it, but it was a great idea. Patrick was at this time a big 60’s fan. Loved The Beatles, The Monkees, The Four Seasons and The Beach Boys. This was the perfect first concert for him.

Let me tell you a little about Patrick. He’s basically been a musician since birth. He got his first drum kit at 2 years old and he never stopped. When he was 9, I took him to jam with some guys I used to be in a band with and he not only held his own but he made them forget he was a kid. When he was 11, he joined a band and he’s gotten better and better. Now at 13 he’s a real musician, he’s an excellent drummer and self taught piano player. He’s actually playing drums as I type this. 

So, I pick him up and we go to the show. He was excited and we blasted the Beach Boys the whole ride. When we got there we had to park in the overflow lot, kind of sucked to walk half a mile with a little kid, but we made it. I go to Will Call, gave them my name and they had no tickets for me. Someone else came over and I told them that I won some contest and they said the tickets would be waiting for me at Will Call. This person looked and said they have nothing for me. I was just about to reach into my wallet and buy two tickets when a third person came over and asked if it was through Facebook. Told her it was and she came back with an envelope with my name on it. I was shocked it was real. 

We go in and walk down and down and down. Our seats were in the tenth row. Told Patrick to enjoy this but not to get used to it, these were some of the best seats I ever had for a concert. It was early and he nervously talked and talked and talked and just when I thought he ran out of words, he talked some more. It really wasn’t as annoying as I’m making it sound, it was actually kinda fun. This was a real experience for him and I got to enjoy it with him.

The opening act was Rodriguez. I had never heard of him but they billed him the “Legendary” Rodriguez. This tall, skinny guy, dressed all in black sat in a folding chair with an acoustic guitar and blew me away. I didn’t know any of the songs he played but it was incredible. Since then I have become a fan. He was supposed to play about 20 minutes from my house in March but the show was canceled due to quarantine. If you ever get the chance, watch the documentary “Searching For The Sugarman”, I think it’s on Netflix. I highly recommend it. He really has an incredible story.

Patrick was respectful but was looking ahead, can't really blame him. He wasn’t there for this guy, he was there for the Beach Boys. Rodriguez finished and light came up and the crowd started filling the empty seats around us. I’ll never forget when the light went back out, Patrick jumped to his feet and was clapping like crazy as the band took the stage. They opened with “Our Prayer”, not the best way to start for an 8 year old, but then right into “Heroes and Villains” and he was dancing and mouthing the words he didn’t really know. 

I was so impressed with Brian’s band. They were as good as any band I've ever seen. Brian’s voice is what it is, but it’s Brian Fucking Wilson and that’s all that matters. Al Jardine still sounds like he’s in his 20s. To me, one of the best things was that they all seemed like they were enjoying what they were doing. They would smile and laugh to each other, that kinda stuff shows in the music. The worst concerts I’ve been to have been the ones where it seems the band is just going through the motions. 

When they went into “Little Deuce Coupe”, Patrick looked at me smiling. This song was one we played together in the basement music room. We were singing along and Patrick was playing air drums. The lady next to him was really getting a kick out of him. When he was singing along to “Cotton Fields” she gave me a look, as if to say, “Sir, you are raising this kid right.” 

The second most memorable song of the show for me “In My Room”, I have always thought this was the most Brian Wilson song The Beach Boys have ever done. The harmonies were spot on and Brian’s voice, for the first time all night, really nailed it. It was also nice because we all sat down, I’m not as young as I used to be. To this point “In My Room” was the highlight for me.

The next big moment was when Blondie Chapman took the stage. This guy is a rock star. He looks like a rock star, he dressed like a rock star, he played guitar like a rock star and carried himself like a rock star. “Sail On, Sailor” has always been one of my favorite Beach Boys and Blondie did not disappoint. His vocals were perfect. It’s really no wonder why he was a Beach Boy or why he played with the Stones. He has “it”, whatever “it” is.

My next favorite Patrick moment was during “Busy Doin’ Nothin’”. Brian led the crowd in a sing along of “Row Row Row Your Boat”. The kid seemed confused, but he laughed and sang along. We all laughed and sang along. There was something so childlike and playful about Brian Wilson that was so contagious. We were all just having so much fun at this point.

The one part of the show I didn’t really like, I understand why, but I didn’t really like,, was “God Only Knows”. This is absolutely one of the very best songs ever written. I do truly love everything about this song. Perfect music, perfect harmonies, perfect lyrics and perfect angelic vocals by Carl Wilson. The band played it album like, it was so good, this Carl appeared on the screen behind the stage and sang the song. It was a recording from a Beach Boys concert from the 70s. I know most people like this but not me. It wasn’t bad, it’s just not my thing I guess. I would have much rather have heard Brian sing it.

The one thing I never explained to Patrick was the encore ritual. After “Good Vibrations” and the band left, he couldn’t quite figure out why no one was leaving and everyone was clapping and holding up their cell phones ( god I miss cigarette lighters ). I do believe he asked me, “what’s going on?” When the band came back, I think he got it. I have never been a fan of the whooping and hollering of the pre-encore. We all know what’s happening. But the kid was loving it, so I was too.

The second song of the encore was “Help Me, Rhonda”. Everyone was singing and dancing and no one was singing louder than Patrick. I still have video of him singing and me trying not to laugh. If there was one song that whole night I enjoyed most it was this. Patrick’s joy in this moment was something I’ll never forget. I’ll never show him the video and I would never tell him how funny it was. No one should ever be embarrassed by the way he sang or danced at a concert. This was a really priceless thing for me.

Next up was “Barbara Ann”. Now we were sitting in the center of the section in front of stage left. I could see the right side of off stage and there just off the stage, in blue jeans, a tee shirt and a baseball cap. Having a good time like the rest of us was Bruce Springsteen. I nudge Patrick, “I think that’s Bruce!” His response was not at all what I was hoping for. “Who?” I was crushed, no longer did I feel like I was raising him right. I, at this moment, was crushed. I shook it off when Al motioned Bruce to the stage and Bruce joined all on the mic and sang the backup.

Up next was “Surfin’ U.S.A.”. Now a roadie ran out a guitar. Brian Wilson, Al Jardine, Blondie Chapman and Bruce Springsteen. It was so crazy, Bruce was singing backup like he was in the audience. It was just so much fun to see. This wasn’t “Bruce Springsteen”, this was Bruce, a guy from NJ who is a fan Brian and The Beach Boys. He just happened to have the best seat in the house. The really interesting thing was Brian completely “no selling” Bruce. He might have even known he was out there or even who he was. Oh, man, I hope he didn’t think we were “booing” when we were “Bruuuuuccccce-ing”. This, of course, was my favorite song of the show. 

Brian closed the show with “Love And Mercy”. The perfect and to a perfect night. One the ride home I tried to explain to a very tired 8 year old, how special this show was. We saw real rock and royalty. We saw a great show. We had great seats. Patrick’s first concert. And a Bruce Springsteen pop in. This might have meant more to me then to him. I just hope he has the memories and this is a story he will tell someday.

[noexit-ff]

10.

Zipping my backpack up, I am still half asleep but I need to leave for New Jersey. I should have gone last night but Robyn would not let me go, she at first said she wanted to go and then she said no. I mean shit is so hot up for us, people have kind of put it together and figured it out but we deny it all. I had to come back here and pack my stuff, I will be gone for a few days but I will be coming back straight away when I can “yo, nigga. Where is your phone?” Mijo said behind me, I don’t really hang with anyone anymore. Mijo is my man but for this trip I got a few of the boys “it’s on charge” I paused “at Robyn’ place, shit!” I spat, sighing out turning around to Mijo “yeah, she on the phone. Sis decided she wants to come so pick her up with Mel” Robyn decided to come, she is a pain in the butt “we could have travelled last night, I told her to come” rolling my eyes “you hear that but we will come, see you there” Mijo disconnected the call “you look so annoyed” Mijo chuckled “I am, you right. I have all those niggas with me, and to take Rihanna with us, shit will need some military operation” she is annoying “she said no last night and then says yeah now? Women for you though but fuck them niggas, more niggas the better. We can hold her down” he got a point “it’s going to be difficult but she wants to come with me, Robyn was saying no but she wants to support me I guess” the Hot 97 concert is today and I am nowhere near New Jersey.

Robyn might have Rich with her but then again I hope not, people are dying to see us together and Mel is the worst. She got this hot up, this is on her “I’ll be two minutes” getting out of the SUV, Robyn and I have done nothing. We have just been in this house hiding from the world, I have loved it though. Unlocking the door and pushing the door open “family!” I spat closing the door behind me, seeing Robyn’ bags on the floor “I am here!” Robyn chimed, she sounds so happy. Walking down the steps “I only left you a couple of hours ago, what changed?” there is no Rich so that is good, he is noticeable when going out “she woke me up” Mel looks it “you look awful” Mel still has her head wrap on “thanks dumbass” Mel walked by me “you look so excited, what is happening?” I am confused “nothing, I just want to come with you! I want to support you, I know it could like expose us both but I will be backstage, I will stay away but I just want to be with you” I cooed out, she is so clingy now “I don’t mind you coming, I just don’t want us to be caught. But let’s go” I am actually loving this, I love that we are secretive from the world, nobody giving us bad vibes. I am really happy, I want to keep it this way.

Robyn is funny, she is so damn clingy and cute. Looking down at Robyn with her head on my shoulder, dick has made her so clingy “so how are we doing this boss?” my bodyguard said in the front “just going with the flow, protecting my baby of course and her pet Melissa” I think Mijo and Mel are having a disagreement in the back “am I in the way?” Robyn said with her lips poking out “never, I just want to make sure nobody takes pictures of us. I don’t want people finding out just yet” seeing the boys outside my jet waiting “you bought the animals with you” Robyn is rude “be nice, they can hide you I guess” I just want to be sure nobody sees us “true, Jay Brown asked me today if I am depressed because of how I don’t want to be leaving the house. I felt like saying, nah I am just riding my man” I chuckled “you funny, funny because you ain’t lying” I am enjoying having one lady in my life, it’s peaceful actually.

Everything seems to be flowing, we landed in New Jersey and then we got into another  SUV here. We are just arriving at the arena, the boys got there before us and I made them check out the place and what it is like getting to my dressing room, they said it’s packed but hopefully I will just push my way through “I wish I could watch you perform, like in front” this supportive non-working Rihanna is a blessing “you can see from the side of the stage babe, not need to be sad. We do need to find a place to stay though, we playing too much” I think we are so cosy in Robyn’ rented place we forget “ok, so when we go back we will do it? I bet my things are getting dusty at your place” I snorted “more like which heel does my dog’s chew on a day” Robyn hit my arm “that better not be true!” it is true but I won’t admit to it “here we are” I am so nervous about this, we could be getting exposed today “busy” Robyn said as she lifted her hood up “always is” the car came to a halt outside the door, opening the car door and already seeing French “aww shit, my nigga” he got his hand out, holding my hand out to shake his hand “good seeing you bro, I just come now. I need to get inside” I said wanting him to go, French looked behind me smiling, looking behind me seeing Robyn “hey” he smiled at her, Robyn smiled back. Holding onto Robyn’ hand, my bodyguards both at the side of us as I made my way inside. Robyn at the side of me holding my hand tightly, she is nervous too.

My friends are being very supportive today, they gathered around us both so nobody could actually get to us besides wave to me and see me. I am so glad to see my dressing room, I feel like I can breathe now “Cass can you stand outside and make sure nobody comes into this room besides my friends ok? Nobody, I mean nobody. Not even my mom if she came” my bodyguard laughed “I got you” he turned around to walk off “niggas looked mad salty at you Chris, you just walking passed them” Mel said, sitting down on the couch “fuck them, they are the same ones recording. I just don’t want people leaking anything, I want this relationship to be told to the world by Robyn and I and nobody else” people got to understand this “I don’t want it to be second class gossip, I am legit about this” Sinko looked at me in silence “if anything comes out of this then I know it was one of you niggas” Sinko didn’t say a word at first “I got you homie, we know how much you have changed on us” he got that right, I don’t hang around with those fools anymore “we need to bring class to the family” Robyn added “class? Your nigga got OHB tatted on him, that shit is for life. You may not like us but I ride for your nigga” Robyn does not like any of them “gang bangers that get him in trouble, he can do what he likes but that won’t happen in my home. I guess it’s my amazing pussy that keeps him at home” Sinko snorted laughing “it’s got him whipped, I ain’t speaking bad on her Chris, I don’t know why you are giving me that look for” I was just waiting for him to say something stupid, but he didn’t.

Robyn pressed a kiss to my lips “well you have a nice interview, I will be listening” smiling at her “where was this supportive Robyn before?” she was hiding this “hiding behind her team” I knew that, kissing her cheek “alright, you both can stay here. I am going” I am leaving my bodyguards with Robyn, they need to look after her “Lo and Mijo, stay behind. The rest with me. Mijo!” I spat waving him over, he is walking down the lobby “what nigga?” he all angry but I don’t care what they argued about “you staying with them, just look after them both aight? If they get clocked then so be it but please try” Mijo nodded, he is always supportive even if he didn’t want to be at this moment. It does feel amazing to have my girl here, it is a shame we have to hide.

Taking the mic from the producer “if it isn’t my brother Chris!” Nessa shouted with her arms open “sis” I smiled hugging her “I saw you earlier but you rushed by me, rude as fuck” I chuckled moving back “my bad, I am a little behind. I ain’t even rehearse either” sitting on the couch across her “I know, I was like where is this guy? I was about to text you but I was told you was on the jet by your friend, it’s hard to get a hold of you now with no manager” rolling eyes “don’t get me started” clearing my throat “we need to get the interview started” the producer said “ok, we will catch up after” I will be running back to my dressing room after this.

“I am so happy, I got my brother Chris Brown with me today, how have you been? You have been in hiding? No album or anything, you have been quiet? I know a lot of people are wondering, are you doing some project that you are going to shock us with?” rubbing my chin laughing “I been good, honestly I ain’t been doing nothing. I think the old age is getting to me but I just been in my crib, I think I just want a quiet life. I don’t know Nessa, I am getting old” I said laughing at myself “old? Stop it, you’re still childish Chris so stop it. You not bringing an album out at all? We miss you out here, I see you have been releasing random songs but come on? It’s been long enough. Come with it” she said, shaking my head “I just don’t want to release an album, I do it when I feel comfortable. I think I have come to a point in my career where I want to think of me. I love my fans, I love the people that support me. I am just trying to think of me, it hit me hard being twenty nine you know. I just want to look back on my life and say I did something for myself. There is only so much you can give, I think I have done everything in the books. From being locked up to being the most hated guy and still is, I just want to be me. Have fun, not saying that tomorrow I won’t end up back in the studio and by next month there will be an album but it’s when I want too, not because of my manager because I cut that shit out, I am my own manager and I feel good about it” taking in a deep breath “wow, it’s just feels different without you being arounf with an album, but we do have your features and also writing, you wrote on you Rihanna’s album which was a good album” I hope this ain’t the point where she goes into speaking about Robyn“yeah, that was good. You know, we friends and she needed help and I was there” playing the whole thing off.

Leaning forward on the couch “so you’re still single correct?” Nessa asked, raising an eyebrow “why? You asking?” I grinned at her “no, shut up. You’re my brother but you’re single and as you say you’re looking to settle? That is what I am getting from you, that is right?” licking my lips nodding my head “so that was a yes, Chris decided to just nod his head for those that can’t see on the radio. We need to find Chris a perfect girl, so to the females out there I am going ask questions, if you match this then please tweet me at Nessa” I wish she wouldn’t “wow, I didn’t agree to this mess” I said down the mic “you ain’t have a manager so nothing was verified” she retorted, I busted out laughing she got me there “so I am going to show you pictures of famous females, you need to choose between them so we can get into our minds what you want” shaking my head “I go for personality” I quickly added “that is a lie, why are you lying” sitting back on the couch, this is not going to be be fun “I like brains not beauty, don’t let Nessa fool you. Maybe a big booty and breasts” I added laughing “so Kelly Rowland or Keri Hilson” their pictures came up on the screen “I don’t want to offend anyone because both of these ladies are beautiful, you getting me in so much trouble but I would say, Kelly?” Nessa looked at me all wide eyed “wow, that has shocked me” she spat, I shrugged “I like my chocolate ladies, she beautiful. I love all women, I just really do” Nessa waved me off “ok the next one, J Lo or Ashanti” pulling a face “wow, damn!” I spat “J Lo all the way, I mean look at her. She can move too” I said all wide eyed “I heard you fancy her” Nessa asked. Blowing out air “fancy? One night, if she is free. She got a nice ass” I said laughing.

I hope there is no more pictures “I know people are going to say I am being messy but they are the most beautiful women, and it’s a game to know what he likes” dragging my eyes to the screen “Beyonce or Rihanna” my lips pressed into a hard thin line staring at the pictures “this is messy as hell, wow. You meant to be my sister, not set my ass up. You really trying it with me, you already done got my ass in trouble” shaking my head “it’s fun Chris come on” she said, shaking my head “or you just want to ask me something and you don’t want to seem like a gossip. But if I was to pick” looking at the screen, Robyn looks so beautiful in the picture “Bey” I said, I am not happy “so you and Rihanna are not together like everyone is saying? Might as well ask, the whole world is wanting to know” sighing out “no, I am not with Rihanna. She is my friend and I wish her all the best, I don’t know why people are watching us. She got her own life and I have too” scratching the side of my face.

That is hard, I am feeling it and I am sweating knowing Robyn is in the back listening to this “so if there is a girl out there and you like the look of her” taking in a deep breath “then please tag me in your pictures on twitter at Chris Brown or on Instagram which is Chris Brown Official, over the legal age please” I am trying to lighten my mood up, I feel it right now “I would love to see you as a father Chris, I think you deserve to show someone the love you have. I hope you find that person, have a mini Chris Brown and show him the way or her. You ever think of that?” rubbing my head “more then ever now, ask me this a couple of weeks ago and I would have said no but I realised who would I give my name too, I want to be a father and I hope it is a boy. If it is then I will be happy because I ain’t having no more kids, one child is enough. I think it’s hard to love sometimes when people look at you like a monster, when I see my nephews and niece they look at me like this brand new dude, Their minds are not tainted and I want that. We shall see, five years later I still may be a whore. Watch” I laughed down the mic.

When I went back into the dressing room Robyn was not there, she was in the toilet that is what Mel said but I ain’t got the time to wait. I have to get on stage, I have feeling she is not happy and I hope it is not with me because I didn’t ask for it. I just hope I have a good time on stage because I did not rehearse one bit, if I do something stupid then people will laugh. This does make me want a manager, after that bullshit with her and those questions, I need one. That wouldn’t have happened, I am annoyed because I know Robyn is upset “we have the last performer of the night ladies, I know you all have been waiting for him. Shall we bring him out?” looking over at Mijo “she mad?” I said to him “upset” he simply said, clenching my jaw in annoyance.

Wiping the sweat from my face, passing my mic to Mijo “good job bro” Nessa hugged me “thanks” walking off, I need to see my girl. Smiling at some kids “can we have a picture?” realising they are Lil Wayne’ kids, I stopped in my tracks “for sure” crouching down to them “oh shit, didn’t see you there” I pointed at Lil Wayne “it’s cool my nigga, you looked in a daze” placing the towel over my shoulder smiling as he took the picture, getting up from my position “good seeing my nigga” dapping Lil Wayne “I got to go but we will catch up soon” my bodyguard Cass walked with me “just get me back to the dressing room now” I said to him, raising my arm waving at some fans while I walked off “I feel like shit bruh, my throat is hurting” I fucked myself over by not warming up my vocals, I guess that is on me anyways “my nigga!!!” Trey spat, just who I wanted to see “my brother” hugging him, he held me close “I came just to see you perform, I was already in New York so I came here” I cheesed mad hard “it’s good seeing bro” seeing my dressing room just there “you coming to the club? I got my party in New York” I paused “erm, honestly. Not right now, I have some things I need to do. I will call you though” I feel bad, he came out here for me “alright, call me. You better come” I know for a fact Rihanna and I are going to argue over something so stupid.

Least Robyn is not in the toilet again, she is in such a mood and I can see it “nice interview, personally it was funny but yet deep” Mel complimented me “thanks, can y’all leave the room thanks” Mel pointed at herself “yes, you too please. I am sure nobody will take notice, hide in another room and have hateful sex with Mijo” Mel put a finger up at me, smiling at her. Robyn is really mad, I hope we don’t argue and I can cool it off before she throws something at me “I’ll be out here” Cass said, nodding my head. Opening my backpack, getting my tee out from there “why are you angry?” might as well start it “I’m not” she said simply, that is a damn lie “so why is your face all screwed up like that? Didn’t even say good performance baby, you did so well” Robyn shook her head smiling, but that kind of smile like she wants to tell me to fuck off “it was boring, there you go” putting my tee over my head “petty” least I know she is angry.

Staring at Robyn, she is being mad for no reason “can we just speak on this, I don’t want to argue. I don’t know what you want me to do, I am single out there. I have to act like this, you know this” I don’t why she won’t look at me “I wish I never came, all I got was degraded. Compared to other women with better features, bigger boobs and booty. Why be with me when I am nothing like you wanted? I don’t blame you Beyonce is better then me, I could never compete but you could have chosen me. I am still a woman, I may be Rihanna out there but I am Robyn, I am just like every woman and I hate when I am compared to other women and for my fiancé to choose another woman. Yes, I understand we are a secret but it’s the truth that is what you want, that is what you wanted and I was never good enough” staring at her in shock “how can you even think you ain’t good enough you’re Rihanna, what did you want me to do?” Robyn glared at me “if I was ever good enough for you then why did you cheat huh? Explain that to me but you can’t can you? You know why, because I was never good enough like every time, every man. Every fucking time! Never good was I” I really can’t say anything, this has really bought up some wounds.

The silence in this room is awful, I wasn’t thinking I guess “I am sorry, I assumed not picking you was better then picking you. Everyone expected me to do it, they saying we are together and wanted prove we ain’t. I really didn’t mean to make you upset or hurt your feelings, I can promise you I never thought you wasn’t good enough for me. You was always too good for me, I wanted to have that life but it was never to do with looks. I never got another you, I could never amount to what I got with you. I got laughed at for cheating on you, I didn’t think and I am sorry. I promise you, I am sorry. I can feel you hurting” she sniffled, I didn’t want her to cry. Maybe I should go to her “it’s not the fact I am Rihanna, I am Robyn and I have feelings and I’m not perfect. It’s just hearing that from your mouth, I know people are cheering that you didn’t pick me” sitting next to Robyn as she spoke “but I am cheering that I did pick you, they can fuck off. I love you. Please stop crying” holding her hand “I am sorry, it just upset me” placing my arm around Robyn’ shoulder “honestly Robyn, you’re the most beautiful girl I have been with. I fell in with you when you was fresh from the island, I am so sorry, so sorry for saying that. I would choose you over anyone” I feel so bad “J Lo got a nice ass though?”  she repeated my words “I am the one eating your ass out, fuck her Robyn. I am with you” Robyn looked up at me “I missed you staring at me with those beautiful eyes” Robyn smiled at me lightly “I want to get married, I am done hiding. That is what I want to do now, I just want to be claimed and for that person to want me, and love me. I just want that, I just want to find a home and get married” nodding my head “we will, but please don’t doubt me Robyn. All I want is you, that is the past. I am sorry for the hurt I caused you, I want you and I love you. That was a mistake and I feel so bad, shall we go home now?” I just want to forget that shit, I will miss Trey’ party for this “yeah, let’s go. Your friends, Sinko or whatever. They said that’s my nigga and laughed but I felt it was at me because I did look at him and he looked at me, they purposely started talking about things I don’t want to hear as your fiancé” getting up from the couch and making my way to the door, dragging it open and seeing Sinko infront of me. Walking up to him and grabbed him by the throat “the fuck did you say in there about me while my girl was there?” The talking around the lobby stopped, hearing the door close “I ain’t fucking say shit! I just spoke about some chicks you had, Jessica my nigga, that is it, you fucking liked her” tightening my grip around his neck “she was nothing!! Upset my girl, any of you. Y’all will get it” I won’t have these niggas talking and upsetting Robyn, releasing my grip from around his neck.

[riskeith]

hi babe ! its snowing so much here today i’ve been cold all day :( but i got some chai latte and made snow angels so i’m feeling a bit better,.. <3

i wish there was a way to trade objects or send them away!! ik it would spiral into hacking, scamming and would probably defeat the purpose of the game by making it much easier but still :( it would be nice to help out friends with some objects.. :(

actually the most annoying thing about mobile is the camera. it sometimes glitches especially during battle and i find myself stuck facing a mountain bc the camera. so i see why people might complain. also sadly NO :( i wish!! i have an old laptop i thought of using but idk if it can handle it. i think i wanna try it out though. do you use a laptop or pc?

that’s true. i wish we could like... unable easy mode and just chill LMAO hsjshdhdk. but combat does get more fun the more you progress, i’ve started to really enjoy it. now i get why you started to like dragonspine.... i think.... i’m still iffy about that place... 🤔 fuck the cold.

dude. they’re sooo good. i love how they just.. angrily reassure each other constantly. kageyama’s just ARGH *literally smacks sense into hinata’s head* and hinata’s just EEE *takes the compliments and spikes like a mf*

i actually didn’t know much about voltron when i first started watching. i only knew about shiro because an acquaintance had posted about his gay announcement but i never checked it out. i actually got into it in a funny way... i was on yt one day and i saw a video titled ‘are keith and lance gay?’ and i was like who the fuck are keith and lance? then because i’m such a gay person myself i decided to check it out and i saw keith and was like... wow that’s a cute boy... then i saw their dynamic and said WOAH. and well... i just started watching and got hooked and i thought everything was neat and fun so i watched up until season 3 without engaging in any fan activities so i had no idea what people were saying...,, then i did and i was greeted with the shit storm. and the rest is history. but i can imagine it must’ve been so fun... the excitement of not knowing where the story will go and getting new content and being in the fandom while it was alive despite everything.... ahhh how did you find out about the show?

dude YEAH!!! do you feel like university affects the way you handle your fandoms? we talked a bit about hobbies and stuff but what about fandoms?

(MAKES A SECOND REROLL ACCOUNT JUST FOR THIS.... 🥺 omgggg imagine how cute that would be wait omg i’m actually like ahhhh.. we could go on dates at liyue... or watch the sunset at cape oath.... or have picnics at any mountain top... 😳 YEAH PLS that would be so nice... help is anyway nice to have and you’re such a op now you’d just murder the villains in a second... 😳 oo. although i checked earlier and my server is in america for some reason? i really hope they do the cross-server thing life would be SO good. i’d ask you on a date in a heartbeat. 😳 which characters would we use on this co-op date?)

KOSMO!!! BEST PART OF VOLTRON???? kosmo... come back to us please.. please. ok maybe second best part after keith in the bom suit..... god keith in purple just sits so right <3333 sooo right <3333 I VOTE FOR KEITH BECAUSE HE’S HALF-GALRA SO I GUESS THAT MAKES HIM THE FUTURE *LOVE-SICK SMILE* yeah... hahaha fucking fools. ‘rewrite where lance was looking for keith to confess to him bc they were going back to space’ CRIESSSSSSSSSSSS... CLUNAAAA... 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 hi.. 🥺 now i’m just gonna think about this all night and clutch my heart. thank you for that. btw how would you feel about a voltron movie ?

(i love how our topics just jump from genshin to voltron to genshin to voltron again lmao)

lots of kisses from your m.a. <3333

(okay this ended up being very long bc i combined your second ask too and talked a lot so i hope it’s okay i put it under a read more fkdsjhfks)

omg snow!!! is it all pretty and fluffy 🥺🥺 also ‘chai latte’ and ‘snow angels’ in the same sentence when you said you were cold made me fhfksfjs but i’m happy you’re feeling better! muwah 🥰

yeah same!! i said that to my brother when i first started playing i was like ‘i wish you could trade characters’ and he just gave me a deadpan look and was like.. why would they allow that FHDSFKHD sigh but it would be fun!

ah yikes no! sometimes the camera fucks up even on pc so I can’t imagine what it’s like on mobile in the pivotal moments fhdkfjsd. and i use a laptop! i don’t have a pc ahaha. ahhh i hope you somehow manage to find a laptop/pc to try it out thoo

AHAHAH come on m.a. give dragonspine another shot 🤪🤪 but yeah the challenge is fun sometimes! tho i tried to do a domain like 3 times today and kept failing so... it’s also not fun. (i also tried to find some vids about how to build my characters and got overwhelemd fkhsdfks i feel like i’m going about it all in the wrong way ahhhhhhhhhhhh)

FSHDFKJSDHFKSDHJF THAT DESCRIPTION OF KAGEHINA YES 💯💯💯💯 the accuracy omg.. they’re such chaotic idiots i love them!!!!

!!! what a story that is ahah omg it’s like fate... icb you got that vid recommended to you lolol iconic... and i found out about it from my dash!! someone reblogged a screenshot and i was like “legend of korra?” FHSKFJHSKF so basically i thought it was a korra comic or something bc the art style was so similar fhskdfjd. and then i went searching and gave it a shot! and fell down the rabbit hole..

ooo wdym by handle my fandoms? i do know that last year when uni got overwhelming i locked my twitter and made a priv to vent and just. didn’t really go on social media if that’s what you meant FHSKJSDHKF but yeahhhhhhh uni fkn sucks. sucks out all the motivation i have for anything... i type so many words for lectures that i don’t have the energy to write fic :// FJKDSHKSDHFKSHF don’t meant to get so negative but yeahh lol. hbu?

(all those options got my heart going doki doki 😩 who needs real life dating when you can date in the gorgeous atmosphere that is genshin? AHAH. and oh? america??? maybe they just did that as default hm. as for which characters.... i don’t know that we have any that make up the popular ships fhdskjfj (xingqiu/chongyun, zhongli/childe, beidou/ningguang).. tho i see xiao/aether and xiao/venti on the rise so when the time comes ... AHAH you can be the venti to my xiao <3 LOL)

!!!!!!!!! okay i’ll list that down as the fic idea.. but no promises once again sdjfhksdf but i’m also very 👀👀👀 at the concept so! will def keep it in the back burner. 

hm. i honestly don’t know if i would even pay any attention to it hfksdhfjds like voltron left such a sour taste in my mouth i don’t even know that i could consume any canon content ever again. but it’ll also depend on what the plot would be? lol. would you be okay with it?

(lmaooo we be balancing many convos at once look at us 🤪)

ALSO!!! i’m watching spirited away rn and omg. i love haku sm. i love no face too!!! (at least in the beginning when he (?????) was helping sen <33) all the characters are really good as well tho and ofc the art and music!! i really wanna draw something for it now...... and it makes me very excited to watch howl’s moving castle!!

‘I saw the person my younger self had been enraptured by. I saw someone who took my breath away. And when I blinked, I saw the present you. A soul which, slowly but surely, I’d started to fall in love with.’

UMMMMMMMM CLUNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! explain yourself right now.........., what is this goddamn beauty you hide ? why is that so beautiful..,,, i take it the last klance fic is a multiverse fic???? literally everything good in one????? i saw hints of royal au as well? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you do us so good i literally love you sm just reading those small snippets just Ahhhhhh..... i love them they sound amazing i just wanna exist in them yk... 😭😭😭😭😭😭

FHDSKJFHDSFKJ IF YOU THINK THAT IS GOOD JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU READ THE LAST SECTION!!!!!!!!! but at the same time i’m surprised by myself too... me @ past me you ain’t bad! shdfkds I legit have no recollection or writing the snippet you sent but i’m glad you like it 😩😩 and thank you for being so kind always ilysm too 😭❣💓💖💫💞💘❣💖

oh and to answer your question (oops almost forgot) yes it’s a multiverse fic!! that’s why i thought it’d be good for the last one ehehe. just shoved in everything i loved and made klance in love in them!!

hope you’re treating yourself!! loveeeeeee your c.r. <3

[the-e4b]

I have a very good inkling on who this anon might be. And if it’s true what I’m thinking then you just lowered yourself immensely in my regards of respect. I have only one watcher on DA that knows and criticized me on my statuses (because those are private to watchers) AND is a fan of Peet. 

And no, there were no “allegations of tracing”. You saw the pictures yourself in an earlier post. They might not be 100% traced but you can’t deny that almost 90% of the picture was. Then there is also the fact that this artist was spreading rumors about me harassing others and I gave my watchers hard evidence that it was not me who was harassing anyone. Granted, I was no angel but I didn’t do anything wrong in the aspect of harassment. And I shared my comments together with that hard evidence so I left NOTHING out of that whole ordeal.

And that brings me to the next thing: We do not make empty accusations. We have proof for those. Screenshots and archived links, might I add. You know what those are? Those are links that come directly from the source and stay on the internet for as long as the internet exists.

Peet was throwing some things out of the window lately regarding some “lies and slander” we were throwing at it. Shall we begin?

Let’s start with the most important thing of all, the pedophilia accusations. No, it’s not because you have a relationship of a 47yo with a 24yo or because you feature a pedophile being institutionalized. It’s because you had a scene written in your original story (which you deftly removed after being pointed out) that had a 14 year old Scootaloo having wild sex with a fully grown, mentally unstable Rainbow Dash. https://archive.fo/pd2N9 (last point on Trivia if you scroll down) and like I said, the internet never forgets: https://fimfetch.net/story/170125/stockholm?html#14 HUGE NSFW WARNING!!! (If you scroll through starting from where the link leads you, you will come across a horizontal line that’s followed by a part entirely written in cursive, that’s the “juicy stuff”)  Which also brings us to the fact that Peet was manipulating its audience to draw R34 art of a minor (at the time) because she disagreed with a ship on Tumblr. https://archive.is/tz299 

Second accusation: The fact that Peet says that it never told anyone to kill themselves (this one’s not that hard to debunk, just go check its privatized twitter) https://archive.fo/Lm5aS . Also check Josh’s “response to Peet” video. In the description you’ll find tons of “Kill republicans” archives.

Third accusation: the sockpuppet accounts. Well, please, don’t let ME explain myself, let me show you someone who can, an admin of a site where Peet had several sockpuppet accounts and was banned for it. 

https://derpibooru.org/434414#comment_1859030 

Now the only accusation I’m not going to throw is Tara. Tara is allegedly a girlfriend that Peet made up and then was thrown into prison for owning child porn. I would love to proof that but unfortunately there is too less proof for this fact to hold. The only thing we know is that the avatar she used on several sites was a picture found on Google. And that there were a lot of suspicious things going on at that time to make us believe that Tara was a fake persona of Peet. (But like I said, no hard proof unfortunately).

Last thing before I pass the torch to my fellow mods: See Peet, we make only accusations that have legit proof and when WE are accused of something we don’t do damage control or pretend it never happened (a.i. delete our posts or block the people who criticize us). When we are accused of sth we will own up to it if it’s true or debunk it with hard facts. Not write endless paragraphs turning around the same point but never adressing the actual point.

The one throwing a temper tantrum when contradicted and throwing their toys out of the pram is not us, deary. It’s you.

- SM

What we have here as my co-mod eloquently stated is a response to an ask from an anonymous watcher who had been quite the bother to us in the past who watched our Space Mare… or it could be a former subject on the blog who googled her up to find some juicy dirt. I wanted to talk about my thoughts on a certain comment in the response talking about our ‘recent’ post… I think we’ve had more asks since that one you singled ouyt

As DP said in a previous ask, if Peet were to change and stop breaking people down, we would back off right here

I said something similar when we received an ask corresponding to the last post over here suggesting I wouldn’t remove the screencaps and archives, keeping them as a reminder of not becoming your on-air persona. Peets felt it would be better if “I would pretend nothing happened and keep up the posts…”

I’m confused here, what do you mean ‘nothing happened’? This blog is merely a catalogue of some of the worst individuals in the fan base and you are on the way to being the worst, you’re tied with a man who hid his niece’s Twilight Sparkle toy because he believed Alicorn Twilight Sparkle would make women regress back to the 50’s way of social norms.

We want people to learn from these footnotes of how to better themselves and try not to let history repeat itself because the future belongs to the next generation and they shouldn’t follow down the same path as we have to emotional oblivion.

-JoJo

Figured I’d add my two cents as well (and keeping myself calm by not flying into the usual swearing rage to chill-hop).

It’s amusing that Jerry once again pulls the political card on the blog and says we’re right-leaning.

Oh sure, coming from the person who’s so infamously left that even 4chan would cringe at, example?

Or use a tragedy like a shooting as his soapbox and rage to the echo chamber he calls his tumblr:

Clearly Jerry knows how America works as a country. It’s called research Jerry, sweetie. Learn it!

As we’ve made clear on this blog, we’re not at all interested in politics, regardless of what the ever screechy DisneyMaster once accused us of. I can’t speak for my friends on their political view but I’ve stated I stopped caring for political topics due to how abrasive people turn over them. And while the blog has made a few political posts, it’s rare and it’s always in a neutral stance.

Meanwile Jerry over there goes so political left that it’s not even funny, such as:

Stating the Republican Party only panders to “neo-nazis”,”the KKK”, and the “big stupid masses”.

Screeching that Donald Trump should be killed.

Saying Pence should also be killed.

STILL thinking the Electoral Collage doesn’t work because “WAH HILARY SHOULD HAVE WON!”

Blaming the Orlando shooting on Republicans because “THEY AGAINST LGBT!!!”.

And of course the one that struck a nerve:

“If you don’t enforce politics in your reviews, you are a terrible critic”

If that’s the fucking case, then the late Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel sucked at making movie reviews.

In all honesty, that post might as well be Jerry again throwing a fit because there are people out there who don’t like his actions and will critique him for it.

It’s lovely to see the sodium each time Jerry focuses his time yelling at his detractors than his content.

…Then again, that’d be considered a saving grace considering his content is as bad as his rage inducing posts on tumblr.

But the archived postd don’t lie. But we’re still gonna get a fucking “KNOB” post. I can feel it.

- deafpony

[moonlightfanfics]

I Still Don’t Like You - Part 2/2

A/N: I legit couldn’t help myself with the smut lmao

Pairing: Kai Parker X Reader

Warnings: SMUT, swearing, slight fluff

Word count: 2.5K

Part 1

You crept out of your bed and you walked as quietly as possible to your guest bedroom. You didn’t bother knocking because he would only send you packing. Instead you opened the door and let yourself in.

“Kai, listen. I’m so sorry, I was out of line. You just made me mad and- that’s not the point I’m sorry okay?” Silence. “Please say something." You pleaded in the darkness. You couldn’t see nothing and Kai hadn’t said a word. "Kai?” You whispered. You felt around for the light switch and flicked it on and off, nothing.

“Powers out.” A low voice said from behind you, you jumped and screamed.

“Fucking hell Kai! No, don’t scare me like that!” You shrieked.

“I’m sorry, I was just… Thinking.” He said the last word very slowly.

“Did you hear what I just said? I’m sorry Kai, I never meant to hurt you and I’m sorry about earlier too, I-I just think we should be better off as friends.”

“You know it’s funny, I had a talk with our friend earlier. You know small, brunette, vampire. She told me some pretty important stuff.” He said knowingly.

“O-Okay.” You responded. It was like Elena was asking for a slap today.

“Your little performance was cute, it almost hurt me then I realised, nothing hurts me. It was good acting by the way; I can act too.”

“What are you talking about Kai?”

“I just wanted to get under your skin, get in your head. That way I know I have an effect on you. You really think that I don’t want to be here?”

You were about to say something when he cut you off with his hand. “Rhetorical. In fact, I’ve wanted nothing more for months, I’ve just been waiting for the right time.”

“You cocky son of a bi-”

“Ah ah ah.” He tutted. "Not yet princess.“

He clicked his fingers and your bedside lamp turned on - giving the room a warm glow. And that was when you saw Kai for the first time since you walked out on him. 

He looked hungry, possessive and dominant and you’d be lying if you said that your knees didn’t buckle at the sight of him. He did that thing that he always does, tilts his head to the side and runs his eyes up and down your body.

"This for me?” He grinned devilishly. You frowned then you realised you had nothing but your small silk nightie on. It was your favourite because you loved how it felt on your skin.

“No.” You retorted.

“You look so fucking hot. I can’t wait any longer.” He said to himself.

He snapped his fingers again and suddenly you were pinned against a wall. You tried to move but you couldn’t, you were stuck.

“I hadn’t intended on fucking you into next week but here we are. You come in here, dressed like that and not expect me to touch you?”

“No Kai, let me go!” You shouted.

“No.” He smiled. “You’re gonna stay here until you admit that you like me and that you always have.”

“I don’t like you and I never have.” You snapped.

“Bullshit. Don’t make me come over there and force it out of you.”

“What are you gonna do Kai? Leave me here all night, well good because I’ve got time.” You shouted, still struggling.

“This is going to be harder than I thought.” He clicked his tongue. “We’re going to have to try this the hard way then.” He walked towards you, seduction written all over his face.

“That’s not going to work.” You huffed.

“What? You don’t mind if I try then?” He smirked. You scoffed and gulped. 

He slammed his arms on the wall behind you making you jump, despite your restrictions. He ducked his head to your ear and licked up it. 

“Just admit it.”

“No.” You whimpered. 

Kai laughed and sucked on to your neck, your jaw - everywhere but your mouth. You so badly wanted to kiss him but he couldn’t know that. He moaned into your neck which only fuelled your desire to moan even louder. 

He pushed his body against yours and you flinched a little. You did everything to stave your moan off and you could tell Kai was getting frustrated.

“Come on Y/N, you know you want to.”

“No l don’t.” You said through gritted teeth, you were going to win and Kai knew it. He pulled back and the look on his face made you bite your lip. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t say a thing.

“Hmmm…” You could tell he was thinking. “These have to go.” He nodded to himself.

“What now?” You groaned.

“Our clothes of course.” Your eyes widened and he snapped his fingers, your nightie was removed and so was his shirt and pants leaving you guys in your underwear. 

He grinned and pressed himself against you, only this time you could feel everything. Especially what was in his boxers. He kissed your neck again and your jaw and you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Kai.” You panted.

“Yes?” He grinned against your neck. “Please, don’t.”

“I didn’t realise I affected you that much Y/N, I need to give myself more credit.” Kai smirked.

“You don’t affect me.”

“So if I slip my hands into your panties you won’t be wet?” He asked as if he already knew the answer.

You shook your head not trusting yourself to speak. To be honest, you had been wet since he turned the lights on.

“Okay then.” He nodded, he let his pointer finger travel from your neck, down the valley of your breasts to your panties. You gasped and you knew that he had you. You could deny it all you want but your body wants what it wants.

He slowly slipped his hand through, hovering over your heat, until he roughly slammed down, his fingers feeling for your entrance and finding it. He dipped them in briefly then rubbed the wetness up to your clit. He rubbed fast circles and you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Fuck.” You whispered, Kai withdrew his fingers and popped them into his mouth.

“Hm, oh and by the way, you chat shit.” Before you could protest he pressed his lips harshly against yours. You moaned instantly and opened your mouth for him. He took the opportunity to push his tongue in and explored your mouth.

He slipped his hands into your panties again and rubbed fast figure eights on your clit, you moaned again and again into his mouth. He stopped and stood before you. 

“Stop Kai.”

“Admit it.”

“No.”

“Why can’t you just admit it?” He laughed.

“Because you already know, now let me go.”

“I am going to do no such thing.” Kai smirked.

“Oh really? Then how are you going to fuck me into next week when I’m backed against a wall?”

“Fair point.” He waved his hand and you were released. “You going to run?” He asked warily.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” You grabbed his neck and jumped. 

He supported you straight away, roughly grabbing your ass. You moved up and down his boxers, you could feel his dick twitching against you and you smirked. Kai growled and squeezed your ass tighter. 

He gave you an open-mouthed kiss and shoved his tongue down your throat. A deep moan sounded from the back of your mouth and Kai started to walk to your bed.

He fell on the bed with you still wrapped around him, his hand found your panties again and the other hand pinned your arms above your head.

“Shit, this is not what I was expecting tonight.” Kai smiled sweetly.

“Kai do something.” You begged.

His mouth was against yours again, tongue delving in. He purposely began grinding his hips into yours creating more and more friction. You whimpered into his mouth and Kai knew that he was going to lose it.

He let your hands go and they immediately flew to his boxers to yank them down but he firmly stopped you.

“I have to taste you first princess.” You nodded and his lips left a trail down his body until they got to your clothed heat. You sat up and watched him for it was a sight you had been longing to see.

He kissed the insides of your thigh gently, getting closer and closer until he switched thighs, you moaned loudly. Finally, he pulled your panties down and you heard him gasp a little. He discarded them somewhere and you could feel his hot breath against your centre. Your stomach fluttered with anticipation.

“Kai come on-” You were lost for words when he wrapped his lips around your swollen clit you cried out and thrashed against him.

“Relax baby.” He murmured against your skin, to keep you from moving he clamped a hand down on your waist. He ever so gently nibbled on your folds and you moaned again. 

“You have such a pretty pussy.”

Fuck. This was too much.

He changed pace, tongue delving into your entrance, stroking your walls and you squealed. Your hips rose slightly from the bed and he hooked his hands under your thighs and shoved you into his face, his nose slightly touching your clit.

You grabbed his hair and pulled, hard. Kai moaned and looked up. He decided that this was definitely not a one-time thing, not when he has seen you in such a vulnerable state.

He hummed against you and you shuddered, your toes curling. He let you back down resuming his old position. You felt his hands snake down your body and he pushed two fingers, juices squirted out of you instantly and Kai chuckled against you.

"I don’t affect you huh?” You could tell he was smirking.

“Shut up and do your job.” You panted. 

He nodded and curled his fingers upwards and moved back and forth. The sound of your wetness could be heard through every single one of his movements. Your legs began to shake as he stimulated you endlessly. His fingers brushed against your g spot every once in a while, and you shuddered uncontrollably.

“Kai I’m gonna-”

“I know baby, come for me.”

If it all possible, his fingers moved faster and his tongue sucked harder. It was all too much as he flicked harshly against your almost too sensitive clit. His eyes met yours and you gasped, lifting your hips as you came loudly, screaming as you did so.

He kept on going sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. He finally slowed down and eventually sat up, licking his lips in a sexy manner.

“You sure you can handle me Y/N?” Kai whispered in your ear. You nodded and pulled his boxers down. His thick cock sprang free and you grabbed it immediately. Kai faltered a little but stayed still. You pumped him slowly and brought it to your folds, rubbing gently up and down your slit. Kai moaned and bit his lip, screwing his eyes shut. 

You began teasing his tip inside you and pulling back out. Kai’s eyes widened. He decided that he had had enough as he took his dick from you and slammed inside your entrance moving automatically.

“God, you don’t give a girl time to adjust do you?” You half said half moaned.

“Nope.” He grinned and his hips snapped in to yours, you could feel your wetness dripping down your body. He grunted and put his hands over your head so he could start a rhythm. 

You moaned and brought his lips down on to yours, kissing him hard. You wanted him to destroy you, leaving you wanting more. So you decided to tease him.

“I don’t like you Kai.” You panted. His eyes snapped open in fury and he growled. 

He put his hands over your throat and squeezed gently. You bent your knees up and he pounded into you, you could feel yourself sinking into the mattress with every thrust.

“You don’t like me huh?” He roared. He lifted your leg up over his shoulder and you jerked away as he had found your spot with the new angle. 

One hand was still around your throat and you had never been fucked so dirtier before, but you wanted it, you egged Kai on. You raked your hands down his back and Kai chuckled.

“Like me now baby girl?” He asked, evidence of his childish behaviour even now.

“Oh fuck!” You screamed as he slammed into your g spot. "Harder Kai!“ 

And he did just that. His thrusts became more rough, the sound of skin against skin unmistakable. He pushed your leg further up and you yelped, seeing stars. He hit just the right spot and you moaned again.

"Right here?” He coaxed. You nodded, unable to form words in that moment in time. He removed his hand from your neck and rubbed your clit. You shuddered relentlessly and he circled roughly, not caring if you were over sensitive.

“I don’t care if you say it won’t work.” Kai growled. “Because I don’t fucking care.” He gave an exceptionally hard thrust and you cried out.

“Oh shit, I’m gonna come!” You screamed.

“Say my name.” He grunted, using his other hand to force you to look at him.

“Kai!” You groaned. He grinned and his thrusts began to speed up, you knew he was close. His finger began assaulting your clit, causing a sudden warm feeling in your stomach.

“Fuck.” Kai roared, his eyes screwing shut.

A shriek fell past your lips as your release overcame you, your eyes rolled back into your head as you cried desperately. You almost immediately felt a second orgasm come along as it hit you even harder than before because Kai didn’t stop.

“Kai, no stop, I can’t - not again!” You cried pushing his body away from you. Kai dropped your leg and collapsed on top of you, pounding into you, his head tucked into your neck. 

Your orgasm seemed to last forever as he groaned loudly. He spilled himself into you and grunted.

“Shit.” He hissed, slowing down to a stop.

“Fucking hell Kai.” You groaned.

“I know.” He smirked against you, he sat up and pulled out gently.

You pulled him down to you, kissing him desperately because you knew this was probably a one time thing. Kai seemed to sense something as he kissed you more lovingly than before, causing your heart to skip a beat.

He stroked your hair gently and moaned quietly into your mouth. He flipped you over to your side and pulled away, flashing the infamous Kai smile. He carried on stroking your hair as your eyes fluttered shut.

“Kai?”

“Mm?”

“What the fuck happens now?” You laughed slightly, not having enough energy to put any effort into it.

“Princess, just rest. You’re going to be sore in the morning.” Kai whispered.

“Okay.” You sighed, Kai pulled you into his arms and kissed the top of your head.

“Oh and Kai?”

“Yes?”

“I still don’t like you." 

A/N: It’s been months since I wrote this and holy shit. I don’t know what was going through my head when I did this but I think this is the most explicit smut I’ve ever done omg