#god. that was a nice moment after all
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god i've been laughing so much today i got a headache now
#yomiel speaks#NOT A BAD THING TO HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ☝#but still. ouchy my head#getting my headussy slonked silly style#SORRY THAT POST IS SO FUNNY AHASHSDFHDS#i'm in my headache era... 💥#and like i said. i was watching some old Funnie Stuff earlier. legit made me laugh a lot#not sayin what it is im embarassed /lh#this reminds me when i was in a group call in this one server#and i cant recall what caused it but i just had like. this MASSIVE laughing fit#like I was just laughing SO HARD#and i tried to stop bc yknow i didnt wanna bother others on the call#but then u had ppl sending me dumb shit on chat to make me laugh HARDER#your stomach ever hurted from laughing so much? it was like that the next day. AND I WAS JUST LIKE. STOP I NEED TO BREATHE DSJKFD#god. that was a nice moment after all#i even got some people complimenting my laugh afterwards and i was like. 🧍♂️👑 ttthanks (<- suddenly very shy about being complimented)
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Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)
#tiger tiger#jamis arlesi#remy bonnaire#Arno#through a series of unfortunate events I will be posting this after the update will be out so my timing will be more so:#“Alternate take on how that scene played out” Rather than my funnier “My prediction for how it will go down”#I truly think Remy would rather admit to crimes he didn't commit than confess he has a thing for men.#It would be funny! It would be so funny if this is how Jamis found out. Alas...Not yet...Not yet...#I do love the idea that Jamis completely overlooked the all the elder god horror to get right down to the question of 'HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM'#Remy knows him. Knows him carnally. Wouldn't you like to also know your captain better? In spirit and body and mind?#Jealousy looks good on Jamis. Now he just has to do something about it.#Poor Remy though...He love Jamis so much he'd do anything to prevent losing him.#Which entails never giving Jamis a chance of rejecting or accepting his feelings!#Meanwhile...Jamis is a bisexual disaster man who is at his *limit*.#(For the MDZS fans looking at this Tigers comic who still have no context:#This is like Lan Xichen finding out Jin Guangyao hooked up with Nie Mingjue after LXC spent all that time thinking JGY was straight.#Better yet. This is like WWX just starting to realize his crush on LWJ and then finding out he and JC hooked up in the time skip.#'Nice to know you're into men but why did I have to find out like this' moment.)#((Yes I am trying to bridge the gap between the fandoms I am in. Yes I am still on my propaganda train. Choo Choo!!!))
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woe; my kny self insert be upon ye 😾😾
isn’t she cool like
#hiiii!! My first ever post on here!!!!#My name’s Skye btw!!! Hello!!!!!!!#Anyways meet my super awesome cool sona but demon slayer!!! Her name’s Kumonoue and like#Nah jk she’s canonically a girlfail who pulled a Sawako Kuronama because some guy (Mui 💔) showed up and changed her life for the better#Like- after the swordsmith village arc Mui was minding his own business and all of a sudden he finds Kumonoue and was like#“Oh. friend?”#And basically picked her up off the streets and they were just- cool like that#Girlie lowkey kins Sawako Kuronama….. im not totally sure what kin means but uhh.. my girl was a friendless & VERY TOUCHED STARVED slayer#girlie also cant talk 2 people for shiiii but the moment you walk up to her and say something nice? Oh yeah. You on the brain.#She’s a sweet girl. Just lonely :(#my bestie boo once called her a mini Giyu and oh my god. He right wtf#Anyways she solos she breathes clouds or something and that’s awesome#I’ll gush about her later but 4 now!! Tags!!!!#demon slayer#kny oc#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#kny fanart#Gotouge#demon slayer fanart#digital art
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My relationship with my mom has come such a long way in the past few years only to come crashing down the second I try to do something nice for my dad and/or acknowledge that she is not the main character of the universe ://
#i tried to ask her if she wanted to get sushi with us for fathers day (48 hours away) and she said 'yeah unless something happens'#and i was like 'okay well the website says they wont seat us unless we're a full party' and she was like 'maybe ill make it maybe i wont'#then hung up on me#THEN texted me like 'just put me down for a no.. i cant decide this on less than a moments notice and you clearly dont want me there anyway#and 'thats the answer you wanted right? 😘'#fucking GOD FORBID i try to do something nice for my dad on FATHERS DAY after not being able to see him for several months#bc hes been flying to and from IL every couple of weeks to care for his dying father#and the saddest part is that for mothers day or her birthday or anything like that my dad is always the person bringing it up first#to my sister and me to make sure we can all plan something that will make her feel special and appreciated#and meanwhile my mom acts like a fucking toddler the second the attention is not on her for 2 seconds#'im tired and so busy and you gave me no time to decide' i literally would have given you a few hours to think about it if youd communicate#instead you passive aggressively imply i hate you because im doing something nice for someone else#ALSO you are not the only person on the goddamned planet that is busy and overwhelmed right now like are you KIDDING#i want to cry#personal
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Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake
#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update#she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back#i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat#im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it#bc what the fuck#i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages#and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things.#i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit#and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc#it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday#why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up#I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever#i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for#and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about#that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell#why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family#and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call#which gives them space to harass me about work and shit
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this time last year i was probably sitting in the kitchen while my dad started making an early dinner of chicken bolognese trying not to get too nervous about the concert i'd be going to in a few hours
#the nyc concert was last year. LAST YEAR .#thats so insane like yeah that feels like a year ago but good god the insane amount of stuff that has happened since#but god i remember that day so well#it was cloudy and a little rainy in the morning which made me ough thinking it was a bad omen and wouldnt be as fun#and i remember going to library and printing out my silly letters (i should have just. not done that lol)#and on the DAY OF on the way back home from the library#i even bought a cropped black blazer specifically for my concert outfit. havent worn it since lmao#and my dad and i even watched a movie at lunch#a short movie but a movie nonetheless. lol and even then i was like oghh my gosh excitement and nervousness#and then the car service getting there i felt so fancy and as the drive started the clouds were magically dissipating#so that it was a nice clear evening when i got to the theatre#and then all the insanity of the show. god i cant believe it still after all this time. wowie#going to listen to a playlist of the show setlist im gonna get emotional now. guys........#one of my fave memories is how everyone started standing up as they went into so may we start so i was like ok are we all doing this#and stood up too and then stood for the entire rest of the concert. i think the first 3-5 rows were like that for the whole show#surreal and insane i was front row. those guys were REAL and CLOSE#i was also very excited to notice russells new shoes :) when i wasnt like awooga (how i was 99% of the time)#there was one so may we start jump that was well. yeah. front row baby#i think after latte i was like ok i cant film i gotta just vibe#religious experience doing the 'ah ah ah's during that. really interesting#ok im not gonna go through the whole show again but wowie one of my most insane nights. second only to hollywood bowl#wow what a fun year it was. just so many incredible moments#ok yay 💖 happy one year to all that. love those guys so much#spars#ok not actually done beaver o lindy was INSANE LIVE!!! AS WAS EVERYTHING ELSE. so fun ok now done for real
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I can’t believe that Rick canonically had a slap fight with an old man because he was jealous that Summer wanted to spend time with him
Like it 100% sounds like the sort of thing we would make up for a funny post on here but nope… canon
Edit: for some reason the order of the pictures is a bit fucked up but I can’t be bothered to fix it lol, sorry
#rick and morty#rnm#rick sanchez#summer smith#mr needful#rick is such a petty and dramatic manchild and i love it#honestly as much as s1 has its bad moments (such as the r word conversation in this very episode 😬) i love the way it portrays rick#like it’s very apparent that he’s jealous and needy and just bullshitting his way through life#he feels much more… human? if that makes sense#like yeah there’s a lot of fun stuff with the whole ‘smartest man in the universe’/god complex stuff#but it’s also nice when he’s just a man who’s very good at science and a massive dumbass in all other areas of life#honestly he’s much more emotionally vulnerable to the audience#like we see him here being insecure and needing summer’s approval#and later on in the episode when he’s very clearly lonely and bored alone in the house#and greets morty too enthusiastically and then corrects himself to try and seem cool#again i was really struck by how… nice he was in meeseeks and destroy after morty shouted at him#even before he realised what had happened to morty#(i know he was an asshole before that but still)#plus the citadel episode has him crying over his memories of morty#i think i just have a mental image of s1 based on the ‘anti-pc’ jokes and dudebro perceptions of it#so i forget what it’s actually like#i mean don’t get me wrong there are definitely a lot of extremely cringeworthy ‘anti-pc’ jokes#but rick is actually much more human in s1#also i find it so funny in this episode that at the end rick and summer actually work out#rather than rick just using some sort of technology to make them jacked#like i know they use steroids#but the fact that they actually went to all that effort cracks me up#also i would say this is the first episode where rick and summer start to actually develop their own interesting dynamic#which i love
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finally catching up with bsd after one hell of a month (+ midterms) 🫠
#bsd spoilers#updates for ep 2 :3#right off the bat all i can just say is fukuchi is such a well-written villain; while i can’t completely emphathize with his plan yet#i have to applaud him (uh and asagiri too) bc that’s quite a villain to fear—he’s already in a position of power that puts him in a major#advantage compared to the ada; it’s like he masterminded this whole thing to lead up to this but WHY (idk if i just forgot)#point and case: i hate him and im always terrified of his next move but damn he’s such a well-written antagonist i can’t even 🤐#ATSUSHI GET OFF THAT FUCKING BOAT RN WHY DID IT HAPPEN SO EARLY INTO THE SEASON IM CRY WAIT NO#fukuchi pointing out that ranpo is just jealous that he and fukuzawa way back is just so adorable made me forget what happens next haha#how come i dont remember these cute moments from the manga 😩#god im stalling so much :(( i hate it i hate it i hate it#the reveal was so… he should’ve deducted this shit sooner (objectively the build up was so nice hsjdhdj)#MY JAW DROPPED THEN AND IT STILL HAPPENED NOW :)))))#ok fukuchi in his complete villain mode is kinda 😗#watching this after being detached to bsd in general is so much better bc i can now appreciate the whole thing as is without much bias???#THE WAY HE JUST TURNED COLD ALL OF A SUDDEN AND I OOP— 😗😗😗😗😗#oh both canon and beast atsushi and their paralyzing fears :(( my heart actually hurts#ATSUSHI THINKING HE’S ALONE ANDDDDDD#OH MY GOD I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE MY SSKK#I CANT WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE#toff.txt
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why are they laughing at him as he gets straight up killed??? he doesn't deserve this! he's a sweet kid at heart! he literally just needs one (1) real friend!!
#jack facts#willow and xander and tara all got that exact type of chance and you could argue the same is true for cordelia and anya!#and why don't we just not even start in on angel#like jonathan went from attempted suicide to so grateful for one moment of attention he created a whole award to give about it#to IN ONE YEAR becoming so powerful a witch he seamlessly altered the perception of the entire population of the world#without any adverse effects to himself and only the one (1) flaw that is inherent to the spell he used#to all but instantly giving up that power when he realized it posed danger (that he understood) to people#to feeling genuine remorse for doing that even tho he needed it explained to him why they were so upset#and making every apparent effort to learn that with humility and offer whatever wisdom he could in return#to... this.#like why tf didn't anybody say hey man are you doing alright after being suicidal?#hey man the spell you did was wrong but that doesn't mean you can't do magic anymore why don't we meet up sometimes and study together#or better yet he could have mcfuckin joined the coven god damn#like they went from witch being a relatively gender neutral combo of innate talent and learned skill in early seasons#to now we're supposed to forget the boy willow and amy did spells with in hs + the fact that giles himself was in an all male coven#and even believe that only Special Girls like willow and tara can do any significant amount of real magic at all#why on earth is willow the biggest witch of ever and started out floating pencils and then having a whole plotline#about learning to use her power ethically and control herself and practice temperance and etc#AND anya gets to be a good guy even though she has to be taught about ethics and consent and compassion and all that too#but jonathan's thing is being soul crushingly lonely and having no self esteem but being incredibly sweet once given the time of day#and is instead relegated to two bit loser villain?#why because he's the Actually Uncool type of unpopular instead of the Too Smart And Nice To Be Popular type of unpopular?#makes me sick he literally just needs a friend. just one genuine friend who cares about him personally. that's all.#and it's not like they're doing a ''this is what happens to vulnerable kids when no one cares about them!'' thing which would be different#no they're just like lol he's unpopular like our protags but he's also short with a nasally voice! which means he's bad!#once again i swearrrrr i'm not doing armchair psych on a creator based on the content of their work#please i swearrrrrrrrrrrr i'm not doing that i prommy i know it doesn't work that wayyy i knowwwww#don't worry about ittt i'm so totally definitely not doing that at allllll#anyway
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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Shoutout to the member of my staff who tried to get me in trouble with my supervisor bc he saw me spending 2 minutes goofing around in the middle of 4 straight hours of paperwork while he was playing games with kids, quality teamwork there my man
#me: about to collapse from exhaustion#him: ‘mmmm but you took a moment of levity instead of working 24/7 so are you REALLY tired?’#god bless the fact that my boss was like ‘uh no stress relief is important actually’ in response#also tried to say I only follow tradition when it helps me and then cited something that has never been tradition here and#and made my life harder AND I did anyway bc I didn’t want to fuck over my staff#and it also explicitly gave him more free time and me less time to work in my office and again I STILL DID IT but I grumbled a bit#to be fair counselors’ jobs are hard work I’ve Been there but I don’t give them shit for some harmless goofing And Yet#he’s mad at me bc I told him nicely to stop yelling after all the kids went to bed and he did it again immediately and I was Less Nice#camp posting
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read camp dama.scus. enjoyed some stuff, really wish i didn't have the experience so often reading a book that's Good and Progressive and about Queer Affirmation etc of feeling like i'm side-eying the author like 'and you know that delineating the people that oppose you as pure evil that therefore deserves torture or death or being eliminated from society entirely is bad, right? you know that, right??'
#it's kind of funny bc the main character is a jack chick tract atheist in a way bc#she rejects her religion (REALLY quickly and easily lol) and immediately starts... conceiving of HERSELF as a prophet/god#as in. starts making up 'bible' verses that are about Her and how awesome she is#and how she's going to bring down her enemies with the righteous flaming sword of vengeance and wrath and truth etc#which i would love as a character Thing if the narrative didn't just treat this as 'super metal' with absolutely no further examination#(seriously she casually drops that she's been making up bible-style verses abt herself and her ideas#in convo with her Token Good Christian friend. by CITING ONE OF THEM#LIKE IT'S A BIBLE VERSE. and then going 'o yeah i've been making those up'#and her friend's reaction is just 'haha that's sick' and moving on)#listen i'm all for god complexes and edgy bullshit but the presentation along w the general#descriptions of the Enemy as 'cartoonishly pure evil' and implicit 'haha nice!' around the idea of THEM getting tortured forever#just leaves me ://///#i might be oversensitive to this after stuff like Sorrowland and Pet but.... just. ech. i wish i didn't have to play the game of#'do you think torture is ok if it's someone you don't like?' and 'do you consider people who do bad things as human?' in the first place#also it was just a HUGELY underwritten book lol it'd make a decent movie but viewed as a book it gets funnier the longer i think about it#was marketed as conversion camp horror. 0 conversion camp content bc IT ALREADY HAPPENED#0 relationship development bc the two people the MC connects with she ALREADY HAD RELATIONSHIPS WITH. THAT SHE FORGOT#so you can 'i'm falling for x again' all you want dr tingle that's not what's happening the work is not there#also ofc the other two people are just. The Tech Guy and The Cool Hot Nice Love Interest (2 aesthetic traits no personality)#so yeah like. some very good horror moments/concepts! but some Problems. For Sure#vic talks#book talk
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thinking Really hard about the themes of abuse and trauma and breaking cycles, and this quote from ketheric's fight at the end of act 2
#bg3 spoilers#im so serious its endgame spoilers in the tags#just poetically its nice bc of the double meaning you can take from the gods beat me first#but also all three of the villains have potential endings where their reality and justifications for continuing the cycle of abuse#just come crashing down around them before their deaths. and honestly its heartbreaking and so satisfying#the stuff u can tell orin about her mother. straight up telling ketheric to kill himself bc this is not what his family wouldve wanted#and gortash if u take him to the brain. made to feel powerless in his last moment. after his control is rejected
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Two hours. I got two hours of sleep. I’m so frustrated with myself.
Went to the ER. Everyone was very nice. They gave me an IV bag of fluids (I was dehydrated! Sad cactus!) and a little ativan (teeny dose), which was nice at the time! Just a little amount, but the (mostly) quiet room, fluids, and meds managed to relax me a lot. Could have fallen asleep if the bed was actually comfortable. Then they packed me up, gave me another little Ativan to take home for tonight, and said they’d contact my primary. Cool cool. Got some much needed food on the way home, then took the pill and got comfy. Again, smallest dosage they make, so no feeling too good. Managed to muscle past my anxiety to fall asleep, and… 2 hours. Woke up. Tried to go back to sleep. Too frustrated and anxious and I feel like crap. What should I do? Just eat a whole gummy and hope that knocks me out? For me, that feels like playing roulette. Could work, yeah. Could make me sleepy and pliable. Could also backfire and make me feel sick and extra anxious for another 5 or 6 hours. What do I do? Roll back up to the ER? “Hewwo, I woke up and I need more benzos 👉👈🥺” haha funny, but I’ve seriously been thinking about it 😑
God, I’m miserable. Been sitting outside on the porch for a bit. Not quite an hour. Needed to get out of the apartment, but tbh, nearly 4am outside isn’t doing much for me. I just feel alone. It wouldn’t help with sleeping, per se, but just someone, I dunno, hugging or holding me for a few minutes would honestly save me a little. What a mess. Oh yeah, and apparently my kidneys are going 👎👎👎 down. Bad meat. Not great test results. Not what I’m focusing on tonight. I’m a mess. Anyway, this was my update. Sorry for all the walls of text. Suppose this is mainly for me to look back on in the future, but can’t pretend it’s not at least a little validating to put this all out into the world and knowing that maybe one or two people read this and I didn’t suffer completely without recognition. Yeah…
#this is a lot of text#not really a casual read#ok ok… I can’t sit outside forever#gonna go back inside and I dunno make a hot chocolatey drink. grab some snacks#TRY to feel good even though I don’t#YES will probably get a little high#hoping that the combo of sugar. salt. and thc will give me the sleepy tools to just pass out for awhile#just a few more hours! please!#omg I was so pissed when I woke up and thought I’d slept for awhile but realized I hadn’t#’ what do you mean the last text I sent was only two hours ago? ‘#seriously. I thought I fell asleep around 11 pm but it was closer to 1am.#stupid sexy ativan. messing with my sense of time#it really wasn’t that big of a dose! I was basically a little buzzed for an hour or so each time#but the doctor was nice and straightforward with me. I just dunno tho. I’m a big guy with a history of anxiety. .5mg is weaksauce#god I’m getting anxious just sitting here thinking about trying to sleep again#it’s feeding on itself. I’m trying to rationalize this but it’s just this feedback loop.#is this my life now? I’m outside. I feel so alone. I feel like I could die any moment. in a sword of Damocles way. it’s there and waiting.#ok sitting outside isn’t helping#after 4am and yes I see cars driving by. I hear the occasional siren. but I still feel alone in the world#please tell me life goes on? please tell me we’re not really at the end here.#I always feel like I’m staring at our final days. that we’re all barely here. fucking ghost planet. waiting to die.#there’s war and hate and everything is expensive and I can’t.. I’m not a part of this world. I’m too poor and sickly and so it all seems…#like we’re on our last leg. like the final days of a fire sale. this body feels fit for the grave. this world is the grave.#I’m scared#ok like I said sitting out here isn’t helping. Ian. please stop.#yes. yes. ok. snacks and drinks and distracting tv. let’s try this again.#sorry this is a lot#I spent the last 20 minutes writing these tags and getting progressively more anxious 😬#you can ignore this#text
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life is falling through my fingers more that usually
#i’ve been in a pretty much constant state of panic since january#and it’s gotten worse recently bc of 1. thesis writing (or lack thereof)#2. administrative problems at uni that i caused due to the constant state of anxiety and depression#like whyyyy do things like going to the uni office send me spiraling like nothing else#and i’ve been feeling weird and disconnected for a while now and nothing seems to interest me anymore#like i’m light headed in the worst way and i think if one thing goes badly i’ll genuinely fall down crying#and i can’t seem to do anything productive bc of the anxiety either#ok i checked usos. the administrative problem got more or less solved#oh thank god#i love depression loveee it love causing problems for myself that i later have to bother other people about bc i can’t solve them by myself#esp when you have to admit to them that mental illness is what caused them bc even when they’re sympathetic and nice about it i still feel#like such a pathetic idiot my god#also i’ve been thinking a lot abt how a pattern that repeats in my life is the lack of closure#from silly things to more serious ones#like how i didn’t attend my elementary school graduation nor the hs one#the first one bc of travelling and the second bc of covid#so i just closed my laptop and then went to pick up my diploma after matura results and that was it i never saw any of my teachers or#thanked them etc#and how all my friendships that died out were this kind of sudden drop like nothing happened but we just stopped talking one day and that#was it and idk where we stand#and how i seem to leave loose threads everywhere i go and i can’t tell if it’s just a coincidence or if i do that on purpose but#unconciously so as to not have to deal with things ending bc that scares me#i’ve never felt grounded in any moment and it’s so strange#also yeah yeah weird behaviour meant to save me from abandonment whatever#📓#niedziela wieczór i humor popsuty co mogę powiedzieć
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Him.................
#fire emblem#aughh..... i gotta finish the last book. 🙃#it's like really good. think i stopped after the iconic 'i killed him and now i'm gonna kill you' alfonse moment#and that really tender and sweet moment right after w sharena.#i feel like sometimes i get so deeply attached to something that i just have to freeze it in time.#preserve it in amber. ect ect#also i'm still refusing to accept bruno's death. yeah my man has been surrounded by death flags since day one.#but like bro i feel like this counts as cruel and unusual punishment for a gacha character. like.#was introduced as like a Main Character but has never been a playable unit base form has been absent from the story for years#has One (1) playable appearance in an alt and now he's fucking kilt. after what was it again??? five fukcing years??????? my man.#i'm really bummed askr dies so shortly after being introduced too like. bro.... you are the god of askr.......#there was. so much. that could have been explored. maybe. idk. all this is second hand. he's also just warm and friendly and hot. huge L.#but yeah i fucking get it this is War The Game people Will Die. could bruno at very least have survived tho. escape the narrative a bit.#i was also just really scared of any. developments. but i heard from my sister it's fine and vero has really nice character growth#(i am so against alf/vero as a romantic pair it's UNREAL and i think i'd have to kill if they were endgame. sorry. except not really.)#but yeah new book!!!!! yippee!!!!!!!! i do miss him........... i wonder if summoner will be present for this one.#fe alfonse
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