#and i cant recall what caused it but i just had like. this MASSIVE laughing fit

[reinabeestudio]

god i've been laughing so much today i got a headache now

[thefanficmonster]

Perspective

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse recounts the time he first met his now best friend who too has been gifted with a deep voice.

Requested by two Anons. This fic is a mash up of two very similar requests I got from an unnamed Anon and 🖤🥀 Anon, so a big thank you to the both of you for sending in your requests! I’m really sorry to be posting your requested fic so late but I hope the final product is gonna make the wait you had to endure worth it! If you come across it and read it, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

“Yeah, yeah ok, I know.“ I can’t help but playfully roll my eyes at the comments that are flooding in, “Before any more people address it - even though it’s only been five minutes - I’m gonna address it myself: I apologize for the absence of the guest I promised would accompany me on this stream. She made the choice to party until late - or should I say early - and is currently probably asleep. And...I just don’t have the heart to wake her.“

In all honesty, all the blame should fall on Y/N’s lack of responsibility but I could never say such a thing - she rarely let’s herself loose and allows herself to have fun so there’s no way I’m gonna hold this one instance against her. Quite the contrary actually: I hope she starts going out and having fun more frequently cause really deserves it. She’s a super hardworking girl, studying college and working her ass off simultaneously.

“For those of you who don’t know who I’m referring to: the girl in question is Y/N, aka Jumpscaretastic, a horror games oriented streamer. She was supposed to join me for this freaky journey but...yeah I’ll have to endure it on my own because fuck me.“ I take a look at my chat again, deciding to keep this interaction with my viewers going for a bit longer before I start the game. I may be stalling but you sure as hell won’t hear me admit it. The game may be terrifying as hell - I have no doubt it is - but I doubt it would affect me so much if Y/N was here.  My eyebrows furrow automatically at the sight of one specific question that I’ve been getting asked quite a lot recently and I’ve been doing my best to avoid it cause the idea - to me, at least - is so messed up. Why, we’ll get into that later. “No- ok, this is the first and last time I’ll be addressing this wild assumption, you guys, so listen carefully. Y/N and I are by no means related. I’m not related to every deep-voiced person on this planet, just FYI.“ Speaking of Y/N’s deep voice which I’ve gotten so accustomed to hearing, I can’t help but recall the first interaction the two of us had when she got invited by Toast for a game of Among Us with us when Felix canceled on us due to technical difficulties. “I may not be related to her but she really put into perspective how other people feel and react when they hear my voice. I, honestly speaking was astonished by hers.“

A few months ago

“Ok guys, since Felix texted me about an hour ago, saying he won’t be able to make it, I invited a friend of mine so I hope that’s ok with you.“ Toast announces when the majority of us have accumulated in the lobby.

“Yeah, all cool. An introduction to them would be nice though.“ Charlie says, tampering with his avatar’s appearance on the in-game laptop.

“Oh, I’m sure she can do that herself.” He says with a bit of a chuckle, “Y/N?“

“I’m here, I’m here.“ 

My gaze moves from my chat to the monitor displaying the game in an instant as though it would reveal to me who the owner of this unfamiliar voice that just travelled through my headphones is. You know how my voice is considerably deep, yeah well this girl’s voice is six feet below that.  My eyes have widened without me even noticing as I hurry to unmute myself despite being a little late to the reaction party which already consists of a ton of ‘OMG’s and “WHOA”s from the rest of the people in the call. Not one of them, however, considers to question the authenticity of the voice.

“Was that a voice changer or something?“ I say, my eyebrows shooting up when I hear the laugh I receive in response to the question - a sound so deep but simultaneously sweet and girly it messes with my head.

“I wish I kept count so I could tell you which number on the list of people who’ve asked me that you fall under.“ The girl, Y/N replies, “But for the record no, it’s not a voice changer.“

Realizing how hypocritical this question probably seems coming from me, I decide to believe her - probably cause she gets nothing if she lies anyways. “Oh, so this is how it feels hearing my voice for the first time, huh?“ I say, slowly nodding my head, still in slight disbelief.

“Yeah, meeting her was quite rattling - in the best way possible though.“ I say, fixating myself back in reality following the little trip back in time to the day Y/N and I met. “She’s now one of my best friends so that should tell you enough.“

It goes without saying that, since she’s my best friend, I know her quite well. That being said, with the detailed knowledge I have on her, I can guess she’s gonna be in for a massive hangover when she wakes up. I just hope she texts me when she does so I can make sure she’s at least semi-functional. Just then, my phone buzzes with a message. Much to my shock, it’s a message from Y/N. Truth be told, I didn’t expect her to be up for another hour or two or three but here she is, sending a simple text that reads:

“My head’s pounding like a drum mid rock n’ roll concert“

There are no emojis accompanying the message, suggesting she’s deadly serious and in quite a bit of pain. Ok, I won’t sugarcoat it - she’s in a fuck-load of pain right now.

“The Sleeping Beauty has awaken and is complaining about a headache, just in case you were wondering.“ I chuckle seemingly nonchalantly as I silently contemplate whether to text her back or call her instead. Who’s gonna know better than my viewers, after all... “You guys think I should call her? Or would that annoy her?“ I ask, furrowing my brows at the chat as I see different responses coming in.

Meh, fuck it -  I think to myself, already taking my phone to call Y/N when the support of my viewers floods in as well.

She picks up after two rings, letting out a sound that sets the tone for the discomfort she’s in.

“Hello to you too.“ I say, putting the call on speaker so my mic can pick up her responses. “Would you please rate the pain you’re in right now on a scale 1-10?“

“A hundred.“ Her strained, raspy and deeper than usual voice comes through, stealing a chuckle from me, “I’m hungover and still a bit drunk. Like, how does that even work?“

“The morning after is a straight-up bitch. Welcome to the world of bad decisions.“ I tell her compassionately, low-key wishing I could go over to her place and provide her with at least a tiny bit of comfort, as much as I can.

“Yeah...“ she sighs halfway dramatically, “Anyhow, we usually text around this time, what’s up with the call?“

“Just wanted to make sure my best-girl wasn’t really dying, you know. Who am I supposed to annoy in Among Us if you’re not there, after all?” I raise my brow and, although she can’t see me, I bet she can probably guess I’m doing that.

“Whatever...“ The same way I can imagine her rolling her eyes while smiling as she said that, “Tell me this, am I wrong or was I supposed to be on your stream today?“

I barely manage to hold in my laughter at the question, “Uh, yeah you were, but...” she doesn’t let me finish my sentence, instead cuts me of:

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry, Corpse! I totally forgot. Believe me, if I could roll my ass out of bed I’d hop in but I really can’t. Unless you want me to be a bore for an hour and a half, that is.“

“For starters, you could never be a bore to me.“ I say matter-of-factly, “And for seconds, you’re kinda on the stream anyway...“

“Come again?“ She cuts me off yet again, “You’re calling me mid-stream? If so, hey everyone! Sorry I couldn’t join, I promise to make it up to both you and Corpse soon.“ A yawn comes from her end before she continues, “As of now, I think I’ll go back to sleep.“

“Alright, alright. I’ll call you again later to make sure you’re still alive. Sleep tight.“ I tell her, already hovering my thumb over the ‘Hang up‘ button.

“Won’t let the hangover bite.“ She slurs/murmurs, stealing my opportunity to end the call cause she does it herself.

I stare at my phone for a second, finally becoming aware of the grin that has spread across my face. Eventually, I address my viewers once again, “There you have it, guys. Technically, you can give her a pass for answering the call, especially in her current state, so let’s all agree to not hold this against her, cool?“

A brief look at my chat shows me the ton of fluffy comments that are coming in as a reaction to the interaction Y/N and I just had. One, however, sticks out especially. It reads: ‘You like her or smt?’

“Do I like Y/N?“ I read the comment out loud, a smirk coming across my face, “Of course I do. She’s a darling.“ If I had a webcam on I’d look straight into the lens and wink. That’s probably spark more than enough rumors, but at the very least they wouldn’t be wrong. “I’ve stalled enough, Outlast is waiting.“ I announce, finally starting the game. After all, it cannot be scarier than the conspiracies my fans could come up with. I get it though - from their perspective, we’re already the perfect couple; from my perspective we’re impossible because from Y/N’s perspective we’re best friends.

Ain’t that how it always goes?

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[vangoghmusings]

are you hiding too? | shoto todoroki x reader

summery: you hide from all the craziness at a party, only to meet the elusive shoto todoroki

college au

pairing: shoto todoroki x reader

word count: >1,500

warnings: drinking, drugs, partying, cursing, sexual innuendos, crack(?) 

a/n: i wanted to write another blurb but writing smut two nights in a row was just too much (y’all seemed to really like it so keep it in your pants for this one), so heres some shoto fluff <3

The moment you saw Denki pull out the massive bottle of Tito’s Vodka you knew it was going to be a long night. The boys of the UA fraternity were throwing a party, rumored by Mina and Ururaka to be their craziest one yet. As their chosen designated driver, you were forced to come along. 

“Aw y/n, don’t be such a party pooper!” Denki sang while waving the bottle in your face. You pushed the bottle away gently, and even with that small push, tipsy Denki nearly fell over. 

“I’m dd-ing for the night,” you answered giving him a polite smile. “Plus, you should probably lay off the Tito’s.” 

Denki’s eyes widened, as if he was having an epiphany. 

“You’re right...I don’t need Tito’s, I NEED TITTIES!” He said raising the bottle in the air, his hypemen, Kirishima and Sero cheering him on with hoots and whistles. 

You rolled your eyes and looked around, searching for a space away from the breast hungry boys. The frat house was large, and filled to the brim with people. You figured your best chance at finding some quiet was by going upstairs. Worst case scenario is you find some people having sex. 

You walked up the stairs, stepping over a blacked-out Aoyama and entered the hallway. You rested your ear on the door and tried to listen to see if anyone was inside. 

“Fuck Bakugo! Don’t stop!” 

“Shut up Deku, you’re being so fucking loud you dumbass.” 

You pulled your ear away quickly, not needing to hear any more of whatever that was. You shook your head and pressed your ear ear against the next three doors. 

Moans. Nope. 

Crying. Definitely not. 

Silence. Finally. 

You sighed in relief and opened the door. You closed the door gently, turning to see a man sitting down on a futon, a gray cat on his lap. You blinked. You knew him, he was a part of the fraternity. 

“Are you hiding too?” He mumbled, not looking up from the cat. 

You nodded, “Yeah, is it okay if I stay in here?” 

“Be my guest.” 

You laid down on the rug, closing your eyes, feeling the vibration from the speakers below you through the floor. 

The cat leaped off of his lap and made its way to your face, sniffing you with curiosity. You smiled and hummed softly. 

“Hey there little guy,” You reached out and petted the cat’s head, the animal answering in affectionate purrs. You smiled and looked up at the man, who was watching you pet the cat. “I’m y/n by the way.” 

“Shoto, nice to meet you.” He smiled down at you kindly, a tiredness behind his eyes. 

“Is the cat yours?” You said, gesturing the the purring friend you had made. 

“No, its Koda’s, veterinary major and all.” 

You nodded, “Oh yeah, I have Biology 246 with him!” 

He tilted his head at you. 

“I’ve had a class with you, I just cant remember it though...” 

His voice trailed off in thought, the cat’s purr and the music from below being the only sound in the small room. 

“Freshman Philosophy!” He said, excitement in his voice from recalling the class. 

You laughed and nodded, “Oh yeah, with Professor Aizawa, right?” 

He nodded and scooted off the futon and onto the floor beside you. 

“How have you been?” 

You sit up, crossing your legs, the cat crawling into them and nuzzling into your thighs. You giggled and looked back up at Shoto. 

“Hm? Oh, not so bad. Lots of papers to write, being an (insert) major and all. How about you?” 

He nods, “I get the paper thing, the Social Justice major is a lot of writing. And most of my time is occupied from reading for my Family Studies minor.” 

“Oh wow, family studies, why’d you chose that?” 

Shoto looked down at his lap and back up and you. 

“You know how they say that people who study psychology just need therapists? I guess the same applies for me.” 

Your eyes widened. 

“Oh my god are you an orphan?” 

Shoto blinked and laughed. 

“What? No, just uh, what is the phrase...daddy issues?” 

You laughed softly, “Yeah thats the phrase.” 

The two of you talked about everything, from school, professors you hate, to whether or not soba is best served hot or cold, to even what films you were excited to see that are coming out.

Eventually, silence filled the room once again, as the both of you gently pet the cat who had fallen asleep on your lap. 

“You’re really pretty by the way.” 

You looked up at Shoto, who was still looking down at the cat, his hair barely covering his pink cheeks. You smiled softly and tucked your hair behind your ear shyly. 

“You’re really pretty too,” you said, giggling slightly. He looked up at you and smiled widely. 

“Would you like to go out sometime? But something a bit, uh, nicer?” 

You grinned and nodded. 

“I’d love to.” 

He stared back at you, still smiling, but softer. He leaned into you, a blush creeping up into your cheeks at his action. His hand crept up and cupped your cheek gently, closing the gap and pressing his lips against yours. His lips were soft and the kiss was delicate and sensual. You rested your hands on his thighs as his fingers laced into your hair. You smiled against his lips, causing Shoto to blush. His other hand snaked to the small of your back, attempting to pull you closer. 

Just as soon as he had rested his hand on your back, the door swung open. 

The cat meowed loudly, and scurried out of the room. 

Shoto pulled away with fearful eyes, “S-shit, I’m sorry I gotta go!” He sprung up and walked past the girls standing in the door frame and began to chase after the cat. “WHISKERS GET BACK HERE!” 

You turned to see Mina and Ururaka, their mouths hanging open. 

“Was that, the Shoto Todoroki?” Ururaka squealed. 

You nodded slowly, confused to their dramatic reaction. Mina shook her head in shock. 

“I can’t believe you made out with him!” She said, pulling you out into the hallway. 

“Yeah, he just asked me out too-” 

“He what?!” Ururaka practically screamed. “He’s literally the UA frat’s president and the dean’s son.” 

You snickered to yourself, recalling Shoto’s “daddy issues” comment. 

“Thats news to me actually...still, why did you guys barge in and ruin the moment?” You gave them a small pout. 

Ururaka bit her lip. 

“Well, Denki was getting really handsy and kept asking to see my boobs-” 

You put your hand up to stop her from finishing the sentence, cringing at the thought. 

“So I’m guessing its time for me to drive you home?” 

“Yes please!” The begged with large pleading eyes. 

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, making your way down the stairs with them. You were about to walk out the front door when your name was shouted from across the crowded living. You looked back to see Shots hurrying towards you, Whisker’s being held tightly in his arms. 

“Y/n wait! You’re leaving already?” 

“Yeah, I’m on dd duty so I go when they go,” you said gesturing to Mina and Ururaka who were waiting for you outside. Shoto frowned. 

“Oh, okay. Can I get your number before you go though?” 

You nodded and pulled a pen out of your bag, writing your phone number down on the back of his hand. He beamed at you. 

“Cool, I’ll call you.” 

You whipped your head at the sound of Mina bent over, hurling her guts out on the lawn, Ururaka gagging while holding her pink curls out of her face. 

“Please do, I enjoyed talking to someone sane tonight.” 

He chuckled and nodded. You reached out and scratched Whiskers behind the ear, “Bye little guy!” You stood on your tiptoes and reached up to peck Shoto’s cheek. “Good night.” 

“Good night...” He trailed off, his cheeks flushing brightly as he watched you walk out. 

[leelee10898]

A miss match Christmas: matched for disaster.

Hello everyone! Hope you all are having fun reading and writing these awesome Christmas fics! This is my submission for our 12 days of fictmas: 2020 edition, hosted by myself and @emichelle . This comes from the VIP book miss match.. granted the book is not over but, im my head Jack x MC (Callie) have both become CEO of two's company and are married.. this jumps a few years into the future.

The sound of heels could be heard on the slick marbled floor from down the hall. He kept his head forward, eyes trained on the laptop in front of him. As the clicking grew closer, his lips curled up into a smile. "I thought you were heading home?" He could hear the laugh in her voice, he finally looked up to meet her eyes. Those eyes, that intoxicating smile, it was what drew him in the first time they met. It was 4 years ago on valentines day, in her fathers crowded bar. "I could say the same for you." He chuckled. 

She walked over to the desk, standing behind him leaning down to see what he was working on. Her long brown hair brushed against his cheek.   "Last minute additions to the Christmas party, Jack?" She eyed him, he casually shrugged his shoulders. "And how many clients will be in attendance now?" Her fingers hovered over the mouse, clicking the guest list, her eyes widened in shock.  "He is coming?" Jack gave her a knowing look as she stood up striaght.  "Now Callie, I know what you're thinking but, wasn't it you who said, and I quote 'everyone deserves to find love, no matter what' ?" He gave her a smug smile. 

"Yes," Callie spoke through gritted teeth. "But this guy is accident prone. We will have to tie the decorations down with steel ropes, not to mention no open flames. The wait staff will need helmets.." she began to ramble. Jack chuckled as he stood to calm his pacing partner. "It will be ok,Callie. Just relax." 

Two weeks later… 

Callie stood toeards the back of the room, her eyes constantly scanning for the one person she would have to be on constant look out for. The worry leaving a crease between her eyes. "Have you moved from this spot at all?" She heard his smooth baritone come up beside her. 

"No." She casually spoke, not taking her eyes off the door. Jack shook his head, a small chuckle escaping him as he handed her a champagne flute. "You're cute when you're flustered,Cal. Just Relax." 

Just as he spoke a tall man came into view, callie sucked in a panicked breath and sat her glass on the table. Jack placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and turned her face towards his with his free hand. "We will approach him together, he is here to find a match just like everyone else is." Callie nodded and the two crossed the room.  

"Thomas Haught, it's good to see you again. You remember my partner,Callie?" Jack spoke, extending his hand. Thomas reached out to shake it, missing completely and knocking the glass out of Jack's other hand. 

"Jack." Callie groaned under her breath. 

"I am so, so sorry Jack." Thomas apologized. "I am such a klutz, maybe I shouldn't have come." 

"It's ok Tom,You are perfectly fine. Try to relax, everyone is here for the same reason. Why dont you grab a bite to eat and we will meet up in a few." Jack smiled politely. 

Thomas nodded and headed towards the elaborate buffet table,Callie began to panick "Jack, you just sent him to get food, alone. There are flames under those trays, what if he," callies eyes widened in horror as she watched Thomas's sleeve catch fire.  It was quickly put out by a server. "You see!" She shrieked. 

"Ok, so maybe Toms a little bit accident prone. Which is why we need to find someone who is a great care giver for him." He chuckled, Callie rolled her eyes and walked away. 

As the night went on Callie tailed Thomas. In his wake he managed to trip a waiter carrying a full tray of cranberry and brie with crackers. Knocked over the ice sculpture and elbowed a match maker in the face, blackening his eye.  Tom sat at a table alone, Callie was able to relax a little as she watched him slump his shoulders in defeat. If he was sitting, he couldn't be that much of a threat. 

Thomas was a handsome man, he was tall and had a thin build. He was in his early thirties and a client of the company's for several years. He was thought to be an 'un matchable' but that didn't stop Jack from trying. She recalled his file in her head. The man volunteered with underprivileged children, he owned his own company and was a volunteer fire fighter.  How he managed to not cause more damage with that last part was beyond her. 

As she stood there staring at him, she began to feel that familar feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had spent so much time preparing for disaster that she could not let herself willingly try to match this man. That's when the match maker spark came to life.  "I know that look, you found your fire." Jacks strong arms wrapped around her waist. "I told you to stop fighting yourself, you were going to lose." He chuckled as his lips found the base of her neck. 

"Why is it that the man can rush into burning buildings without falling through the steps, or the place falling in on him. But he can't walk an open room without tripping on a loose thread in the carpet?" She softly hummed. 

"It's probably the adrenaline, that and a mix of confidence." Jack answered.  "When is this party over again?" His lips exploring her exposed skin. 

"That's it!" She quickly spun around in his arms. "You're a genius,Jack! And that's why I married you." She quickly kissed him. "You're a genius." She murder against his lips before turning and walking away. 

"What did I do? No clue?" He spoke to himself, shaking his head and following her across the room. 

"Having a good time, Thomas?" The sound of  Callies voice made Thomas jump up. His knees hit the table and knocked over several drinks and his chair. "I'm so sorry, why am I such a spaz?" Thomas groaned as he lifted a glass off the table. "It's ok Tom, just leave it. The staff will clean it up." By this time Jack had joined the two, giving Callie a confused look. 

"Walk with us, will you?"  Callie motioned to Thomas. Thomas wrung his hands nervously, tripping over his own feet. "This is hopeless, maybe I should just go home.  I can't even walk without tripping over my own feet, how am I supposed to find love? I would probably accidentally harm them somehow." 

Callie held up her hand, motioning around the room at the various people. Some couples that had just connected, others just mingling trying to find a spark. "Do you think any one of these people are perfect? That they don't all have some kind of quirk? Some personal issues? Because I will tell you, nobody is perfect. Tell me Thomas do you have any mishaps when you're running into a burning building?" 

Tomas searched his mind. "Ah, no. No I can't say that I have." 

"And why do you think that is?" She pressed.  

"Adrenaline? I don't have time to think I just do it." He shrugged, a smile spread across her face as Thomas began to connect the dots. 

"I think you have the potential to be a great someone to somebody, you just need to stop over thinking it and be yourself." Callie patted him on the shoulder. Thomas looked to Jack who nodded his head in agreement.  "She's right you know. She's always right." 

As the three stood there, Jack with his arms around Callie and Thomas scanning the room with a new found sense of pride, he noticed a couple getting a little too hot and heavy by the enormous 10 foot Christmas tree. He watched in horror as it began to sway just as a pretty petite dark haired woman stood right in the path of destruction.  Thomas set off in a sprint across the room, he grabbed the woman by the waist yanking her out of the way just in time as the tree crashed to the ground. The pair tumbled on the floor, Thomas landing practically on top of the woman. 

Callie and Jack ran over to the pair as Thomas perched up to look down on the raven haired beauty, shock written all over her face.

"I'm sorry for the crash landing miss but, I couldn't let such a gorgeous creature be crushed to death by a massive tree." He gave her a cheesy grin as he helped her up. 

"Oh my god, Maggie are you ok?" Callie wrapped her assistant in her arms. 

"I'm perfect, thanks to my Hero over here. " Maggie blushed as she motioned towards Thomas. 

" oh im no hero miss." He gave her a bashful smile. 

"Anyone who risks being impaled by a rogue tree is definitely a hero in my book. I owe you one." Maggie flirted.  

"All in a day's work, mam." Thomas blushed awkwardly.  He looked to callie and Jack, callie giving him an encouraging nod. 

"Would you ah, would you like to grab a drink?" 

Maggie looked to Callie and Jack, twos companys no dating clients or co-workers policy used to be iron clad, until Jack and Callie showed Veronica just how stupid the rule could be. Technically it wasn't encouraged to date clients but, Maggie wasn't a match maker and Thomas was actually perfect for her. 

"You two have fun." Callie winked as she grabbed Jack by the arm leading him away as the banquet halls staff began cleaning up the tree fiasco. They walked out onto the balcony, the cold New York air causing immediate goosebumps on callies skin. Jack noticed, shrugging off his jacket and draping it Over her shoulders. "You know if you asked me 4 years ago if I would be here, like this in this moment I would have told you, you were crazy." He spoke softly, his gaze fixed on his wife. " of course I always knew I would be CEO." He gave a cocky chuckle. 

"And now?" She challenged. 

"Now I cant begin to believe my life. I never thought I would share everything with someone I am truly head over heels in love with. I love you Callie Munroe, you never stop amazing me with everything you do. And just when I think you couldn't possibly amaze me more, you go and give us a family." 

Callies eyes widened, she hadn't told him yet. She found out they were expecting a week ago and planned on telling him Christmas morning. "How did you know?" 

"I know everything about you, Callie. I can not wait to be a dad, this will be our greatest chapter yet. Merry Christmas." He leaned in placing a soft kiss to her forehead.  

"Merry Christmas, Jack." 

******☆☆☆☆☆******

Tag list : Writers : @texaskitten30 @Leelee10898 @emichelle @zaffrenotes @alj4890 @burnsoslow @kat-tia801 @darley1101 @msjr0119 @annekebbphotography @god-save-the-keen @plumeriavibes @ofpixelsandscribbles @camillemontespan @ao719 @cocomaxley @cordoniansgonewild @twinkleallnight @the-soot-sprite @cordoniantrash @axwalker @innerpostmentality @lucy-268 @janezillow @katedrakeohd  

Readers : @mom2000aggie @sfb123 @bbrandy2002 @debramcg1106 @desireepow-1986 @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject  

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG //CHAPTER 20

i mispelt the title as ‘oofal hunt’ which, i mean, mood,

IN THIS EPISODE OF DEPRESSION TO THE MAX:

"Fuck you."

THAT’S IT. THAT’S-- THERE’S THE CHAPTER.

/looks at the chosen lyrics for this chap :hrm:

do i still have to a little introduction to this liveblog? twenty chapters in? methinks not so lets just get right Tew It shall we

“We’re here, Ms. Fall.”

/marks this next section down on the tally of cinder’s mistakes. we’re somewhere in the high thousands.

An old Dust extraction point, quietly rotting. Cinder’s mouth pulled. There was an abysmal dearth of kindling.

cinder: you know you could at least take me somewhere better suited for me to kick your ass. this is VERY rude. am NOT a fan. my yelp review will NOT be kind.

i love cinder counting up the numbers. you know honestly id be deeply charmed if someone saw it fit to bring half an army out to take me on. i mean, would it be a pain in my ass? yes. but also. awh. thanks lads! love how many of you blocked out this evening just for me x

"Sienna Khan!" Cinder could barely hear herself between the claws of that strange laughter. "Sienna Khan! It’s really—really—you!"

uh-oh sisters,

oh man sienna and cinder is just. look. WOOF. theres a lot here. a lot going on. a lot that HAD gone on. but also im gay so this tension is peak for me PLEASE lay it on thick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LETS GO!

Cinder stopped laughing.

"Overkill," she repeated, and in the same breath, crossed the tarmac in full immolation.

HELL YEAH BABEY. but also was the more the implication that cinder is an easy kill OR the implication that glynda’s the bigger threat that’s more annoying,,,,,,,,,,,,, well!!!!!!!! too late to find out now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They clashed: once, twice, three times, steel on Aura, flitting through space, but—he wasn't faster than Glynda.

wait it’s the former i forgot cinder’s gay nvm

“Cinder. I mean it. I want to talk.” Sienna’s face revealed nothing. Her gaze stayed fixed on Cinder, as if she were searching for something.

What it could be, Cinder had her guesses, and all of them repulsed her utterly. She spat, “Well, I was only planning on sending your Lieutenant’s head to you in a box signed Love Cinder, so I didn’t really come with a speech prepared.”

SDHJGHJGSKFD SORRY IM LIKE. tryna liveblog but im also just :EYES: at everything here.......... im SO PUMPED for this cause im just SO CURIOUS,,,,,, WE’VE HAD SO MANY SNIPPETS,,,,,,,,, BUT IM HONGRY FOR MORE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

that said i feel like cinder’s the type of person who revisits arguments in her head hours later with new, better points, so i think she does have a speech prepared. in fact i think she has many words stored up in the ol’ meatspace, and all of them are very rude,

The Sienna Khan that Cinder remembered still had baby-fat in her cheeks and hadn’t learned to keep her thoughts off her face. The one she saw now had weaponized distance.

/stage whisper hang on that visual is cute dont put it in HERE where the TENSION IS

Quietly, Sienna went for her belt, pulling away something the same polished silver as her whip. It might have been an arrow tip, except that it was lethally barbed and looked like it had been modified to chamber Dust. Pale blue glinted within it.

Cinder darkened. "Ice Dust?"

sienna: i wanna talk sienna: with violence!

GOD ITS REAL INTERESTING CAUSE,,,,,,,,,, THERE’S A LOT HAPPENING HERE. glynda didnt Know cinder in any sense so we’ve very much been on the ‘let’s figure cinder out with glynda’ train like the whole. the rain! and the desert! etc! all very much thru the lens of glynda ‘i dont remember shit’ goodwitch! so now we have seinna who Knows Shit cause there’s so much history here and im like blease wait talk more first i want the KNOWLEDGE

[...] "Roman Torchwick is holed up in Vytal with your warehouses, and those two teens haven’t been sighted in months... But you wouldn't send them that far north, would you?”

“I wouldn’t send them anywhere you could get your claws in them.”

“The White Fang isn’t like that anymore. We don’t strong-arm children into our ranks. That girl—the snake Faunus—”

“If you say one more word about her,” Cinder said. “I’m going to do something drastic to every single person here.”

ACTUALLY TALK LESS TALK LESS LETS FIGHT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! AND NOT TALK!!!!!!!! A T A L L

Sienna's shoulders leveled. "This is not Hróðvitnir's White Fang anymore."

me: huh why do i recognise that name,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, me: oh yeah!!!!!!! that bitch,

HJGDSJKHGFDS we Love a homage to a classic au and to a cinder so good that id die for her. i mean id die for this cinder too but like that was another level of Die For. anyway. back to the au at hand,

“If I didn’t know better, I might believe you," Cinder snapped, and her old scars throbbed in tandem. “But I do know better. I found one of your parasites, sucking the life out of a town near the wastes. Bringing the White Fang’s protection. You should have seen how he protected them. There wasn't a child there without a fang or an antler missing."

hang on a sec, lets LEAP BACK in time for just a moment

okay so i nipped back to chapter five for just a hot second to see if there was a line that was particular pertinent, but also i found smthng else...

Violence collected at her twitching fingers, old scars across her body flaring with phantom pain. (Chapter 5)

“If I didn’t know better, I might believe you," Cinder snapped, and her old scars throbbed in tandem. (Chapter 20)

HM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, man. cinder. you got real fucked up huh. ANYWAY THAT WASNT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR I JUST LINED THE CONTINUITY (because im jealous). what i was ACTUALLY looking for was THIS:

There would be another overseer, the inhabitants would resume their harried lives, and Cinder wouldn’t spare this town a second thought.

i said at the time in an emotional fit of pain that this was a straight-up lie but cinder is nothing if not a melting pot of emotional reckoning, and I WAS RIGHT. LET IT BE INSCRIBED UNTO THE STONES!!!! SHE DID SPARE IT A SECOND THOUGHT!!!!!!!! HELD IN HER MIND LONG ENOUGH TO RECALL THE DETAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST 2 SPIT IT IN SIENNA’S FACE!!!!!!!!! im telling you that cinder has SO MUCH MORE GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!! and heres my PROOF. PROOF OF WHY SHES AN ANGEL (ONLY ON TUESDAYS THOUGH [10AM-1PM])!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then: "Why don't you say," Sienna responded slowly, her expression slotting into place like a bullet chambering, "precisely what you mean, Cinder."

"Fuck you."

:’3c

cinder has such a way with words. i love her eloquence. remember that time glynda thought she was taking the piss out of the fact she was autistic at dinner? cinder yr a maestro. never change.

“You brought Beowolves to heel. You could turn a Goliath with a word!"

“I had—no—Aura! Nothing to protect me!”

:eyes: :thinking:

HM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, INTERESTING??????? i feel like this is the first time we’ve heard of cinder w/o aura implicitly? unless im Stupit and dont remember a Got Dang Thing but HUH. does this. hm. huh. am i stupid. someone tell me if i missed a thing.

“This isn’t a diplomatic mission, Cinder. I simply wanted to know what their lives were worth to you—before we wipe our hands of each other for good.”

“That’s a funny way of saying only one of us is walking away from this.”

GOD,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i LOVE this scene a lot the interplay between sienna and cinder is absolutely PEAK,,,,,,,, PEAQUE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, im rly enjoying this. also im dying. but im enjoy it a LOT.

“The White Fang you and I grew up in doesn't exist anymore. We’re changing. But you… When did you stop caring? Was it when you cut your horns to be one of them instead?"

Dragonfire scorched Cinder's lungs, blackening every word: "I was never—your—people."

feels like its been a good goddamn whilst since i got to do one of these 👈😎👈, so let’s savour the moment

👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈

aaaaaand savoured. lets continue.

Shaking with the effort of holding her strike, Sienna grit, "I won't relish this."

And Cinder howled, "I will!”

ah shit i shouldve said lets RELISH this to tie the whole theme together and-- and fuck it, combat scene. never good at liveblogging these. sdfjhgsdfghj

Gunfire sparked against her, but she honed in on him with single-minded intent, the kind she’d whetted to a razor’s edge against Glynda.

for a chapter following cinder escaping glynda, she’s thought about her TWICE now. huh. huh. interesting. gay. and interesting,,,,,,

It was nothing like fighting Glynda. This was bleak and repetitive: the second drove forward and Sienna covered his openings, stopping Cinder before she could rip his heart from his chest, and all the while, the gunfire whittled away at her Aura. It was a joyless tactic, no flair or heart, and yet—

HUH. GAY AND INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO FLAIR OR HEART,,,,,,,,,, i cant believe every time they fought cinder was actually just doing a shit job of flirting. the more you know.

The world erupted into flames. They grew massive, swirling around her like a hurricane—Cinder’s Aura exploded outward in desperation, like a dying star defiantly spending the last of itself on a supernova; one final flare, brighter than entire galaxies, if only for a single moment. Cinder felt flashes of bright pain through her muscles as if the fire was burning her from inside.

MAN,,,,,,,,,,,,, I COULD TALK ABT SOME UH,,,,,,,,,,,,, well. i could talk abt a few things here. but theyre kinda 👈😎👈 so i WONT,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but kno that i am having some Thoughts on the matter. hm.

“Prove it!” Death was thrumming in her veins. It had never made her brave before. It did now, the memory of Glynda’s blind, resolute stare heady in her skull. “Come and prove it! Do it, or I’ll hunt you to your last, miserable breath, Sienna!”

so remember when glynda had her little outburst at winter and i said that i love how cinder rubbed off on glynda in the worst way? i cant believe glynda ALSO rubbed off on cinder ALSO in the WORST WAY!!!! this is how u know this truly is a soulmates thing.

“It’s a shame you outgrew your swords, Cinder Fall. I would have taken them as a trophy,”

it’s with great disappointment that i must say: i agree with adam. the swords were hot. they should come back.

Sienna’s footsteps were whispers at Cinder’s back. The trap was closing. Cinder pooled flame in one palm. The other hand was useless, limp at her side. Impotent rage tasted like blood in her mouth. “I don’t even remember your fucking name.”

HJGKDSFKJHGFSDJDHGF GOD IM SORRY BUT THIS MADE ME LAUGH. WHAT A LINE. WHAT A LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i may actually have to draw this scene that image is SO wonderful. just cinder, staggering, exhausted, and she still manages to just spit that out. im screaming. shes a champion. i think she won this battle literally just there pack it up her burns come in more flavours than one.

Beneath Cinder, Hati turned, scanning for an escape, but she didn’t drop Sienna’s gaze. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she said, “I’m told I’m something of a menace.”

firstly: AAAAAAAAA HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABY BOY OH NO THATS NO GOOD BAD TIMES AWFUL FEELS MY GUY!!!!!!!!!!!! secondly: CINDER THESE ZINGERS ARE UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST. I KNEW YOU LIED WHEN YOU DIDNT HAVE A SPEECH HOW MUCH MATERIAL HAVE YOU GOT IN THERE?????????

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

WAIT WHAT HANG ON

WHAT

WAIT

W H AT

okay wait hold on lets dial back i read ahead and dint live blog wait rthereghsdfgjhdffd HOLD ON

Cinder buried her face in Hati’s mane, hating them, hating, hating, hating. Black ichor clotted in Hati’s fur, tacky against her palms. Grimm didn’t have Auras to protect them, and exit wounds riddled Hati’s mighty body. Cinder’s heart lurched with fury. She could have screamed.

i read this bit and got STRESSED because hati is PEAK like hati didnt even fucking SHOW UP in og but i LOVE HIM and i knew shit would happen because its fucking offal hunt BUT

It should have been impossible at this distance, but Cinder could feel her gaze like traded blows, even nestled among the black of Hati’s pelt.

Sienna’s eyes shone like coins. They were cool, detached. Prepared.

She twisted her wrist and the whip flickered through the air in tight wheels. Its end glittered pale blue.

UH OH

Adrenaline cooled to permafrost in Cinder’s body, as though the Dust had already found its home between her ribs.

Cinder whispered, “Don’t.”

UH OH

Expressionless, Sienna gave a wide lash, and the jagged end of her whip released with a click. Silver sliced through the air, then through feathers and fur, with a sickening sound—wet and meaty as the arrowhead dagger buried itself deep into flesh. Hati’s whole body shuddered and Cinder only had a moment more before ice exploded from his ribs, ripping out through his pelt, even slicing into Cinder’s own skin. It speared him from deep inside, where the cartridge had sunk, impaling everything and rending him asunder.

JESUS JESUS CHRIST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

JESUS CHRIST WHAT A VISCERAL DEATH SCENE HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O H N O T H A T S A N O G O O D V E R Y B A D T I M E

Cinder’s stomach jumped into her throat, and she held on tight to Hati, her bastion, her sanctuary, her family—held on tight like it would make any difference at all—like she could hold her family together with just her own two hands.

Hati dissolved right between her fingertips, and she plummeted alone.

like she could hold her family together with just her own two hands

OUGH what the FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HEY THIS. HEY THIS SUCKED HEY THIS WAS A BAD CHAPTER WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXCUSE ME????????? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?????????? HELLO??????????? WHAT THE FUCK????????? SIENNA???????? BITCH?????????? GO TO H E L L

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[aboyandhisstarship]

SICON verse MWD/Talk it out

Humans have animals that smell  they take into combat to detect things even tech cant!  crazy...also the start of the end of the BUG war arc! 

(this is unproof read cause it is late an i am lazy)

 Francis was practically skipping as he entered the squad room. Futuba raised an eyebrow "what’s up Sarge?"

Francis answered “Abebi and Churchill are done training”

T'Mai asked "Churchill?”

Futuba answered “her dog.”

Kvella asked “dog?”

Depoint smiled "a Terran creature with a great sense of smell, Can be trained to help humans."

The LT followed adding "they are standard on most squads but they had to be recalled to train them to deal with bugs..."

Kvella flexed one of her tentacles "my viewers will want to see this creature."

Ericson nodded "sounds good...we are will be picking them up at fleet station 9."

  12 hours later:

The squad waited around in the cargo bay. T'Mai was half hiding after making the mistake of looking up this dog on the human computers. Kvella had not and was currently live broadcasting as she interviewed some Watson crew.

The airlocks made a *click click click*

And a hairy missile blasted in the bay jumping onto Ericson who fell to the ground hard. The handler followed soon after speaking in another human dialect the translator identified as Dutch what the handler said translates to "Churchill return!"

The dog stopped licking the LT returning to the handlers side. The handler was a woman who spoke with a think African accent as she fired a salute "sorry LT, Churchill missed you."

Ericson smiled as he said "all good Corporal...we have some new faces...this is specialist T'Mai and Kvella...public relations"

She smiled "right i have seen some of your broadcasts.... You are surprising charismatic LT"

Futuba grinned “Abebi Welcome back!”

Abebi grinned “I missed you guys.”

Ericson looked hurt before the squad returned to their quarters; As Ericson muttered “What do you mean surprisingly.”

 Quarters:

Kvella was feeling brave as she asked “So why did it take SICON so long to redeploy these K9?” her drone buzzed by.

Abebi answered “The dogs had trouble adapting to the bugs…they had to be trained not turn and run when they see them,” As she stroked Churchill who sat next to her.

T’Mai who was sitting on the other side of the room asked “your dogs are trained to detect something yes? What is Chuchhill for?”

Abebi smiled “Churchill is a bomb sniffer…If you ever see Churchill sit down in the field without being prompted…it means he smells bombs.”

The LT added “never tell him to sit either…unless you want to see some worried humans.” He then left the quarters saying “Hailey…Captain Herendez needs to see me.”

Abebi watched him go asking “so those two dating yet?”

Futuba looked exaggeratedly disgusted “Abe those are my parents!”

T’Mai scratched his fur asking “do I want to know.”

Francis and Depoint answered at once “NO!”

Command center:

Ericson entered giving Hailey a salute saying “you wanted to see me Ma’am?”

Hailey looked tired as she gestures Vaguely “Another Job Will.”

Ericson sighed “they sure do keep us busy.”

Hailey nodded “SICON has been trying to pull us for shore leave but the council has personally overridden the order.”

Ericson whistled “that must have stepped on some toes.”

Hailey chuckled “maybe…you know me I’m not one for politics.”

Ericson smiled “truer words…so what is the job?”

Hailey summoned a hologram “capturing a bug central hive mind…a brain.”

Ericson whistled “Council been trying to do that since the war started.”

Hailey nodded “with no luck…that passed the buck to us…we are headed for a planet deemed PSJ 342…Council forces are already engaged…you are to drop behind enemy lines and gain access to the chamber…with luck in and out.”

Will looked at her pointedly and Hailey sighed “I know council intel has been bad for the whole war…and you trust them about as far as we can throw them but you have your orders.”

Will nodded “yes Ma’am.” Turning to leave

Hailey stopped him “Be careful Will this OP Smells.”

Will smiled “don’t worry about me Hails…you just get some sleep.”

Hailey chuckled “Sure Navy…”

Will rolled his eyes “Really this again?”

Hailey demanded “did I get my cookies!?”

Will groaned “I’m going to go prep my squad.”

Hailey chuckled “that’s right run away!”

 Drop room:

Abebi adjusted the Dog power armor as Kvella filmed with interest, the armor is built like the human one just smaller and lacking a helmet, on its suit is electromagnetic Leash that keeps the dog close to her unless unleashed by her. The two share a drop pod with the dog being strapped to her chest during the drop.

Kvella adjusted her angle as she saw the rest of the squad getting prepped for the drop, Before long the alarm sounded and the squad entered there pods.

 Drop zone:

The squad knelt on the ground scanning the area for bug activity as Ericson reported “Watson we have touched down"

Churchill moved sniffing as the squad advanced towards the caves.

2 hours later:

Ericson caught sight of the caves that brain was in radioing “Watson we are at the caves”

T’Mai mouthed “Humans.”

Francis flipped down his suits visor reporting “no movement no heat…”

Ericson chuckled “A bit under guarded.”

Depoint chimed in saying “20 says the brain was never here.”

Francis shook his head “no bet.”

Ericson asked “Futuba?”

Futuba answered “no chemical weapon signatures, no electric signals…all standard for a possible bug hive.”

Ericson sighed “alright game on…combat wedge…be ready.”

The team slowly advanced into the caves to find no bugs and a well-lit pathway Futuba sighed “Anyone else getting horror movie Vibes?”

Abebi added “if I find any dismembered bodies I am blaming you now Futuba.” As Churchill kept sniffing

The entered a large room where the massive brain bug was waiting  a group of bugs guarding it  when they saw the humans they started to turn blue, Ericson said “contact!”

Futuba shook her Head “LT wait…I got a pop on the universal translator looking at the bugs.”

Francis demanded “what are they saying!?”

Futuba pulled down her visor before reading “wait…we mean you no harm….” The blue light pulsed and changed color as Futuba read “we wish only to talk…You humans have been lied to...”

Ericson took a deep breath saying “alright…signal them I will talk to them.”

Francis countered “could be crock LT…”

Ericson said “Abebi…have Churchill check.”

The dog sniffed the area and did not sit down causing her handler say “no bombs LT.”

Ericson nodded “first sign of trouble…take em extreme prejudice.”

The squad said at once “yes sir.”

Ericson stepped out of cover saying “I am Lieutenant William Henry Ericson SICON federal forces.”  His words were translated into a strobe light on his suit allowing the Klendethuins to understand him

He pulled down his visor to translate their response which translates to “we know who you are…thank you for speaking to us.”

Kvella sat in cover filming the strange light flashing exchange as dagger covered the Aliens.

Ericson returns “you said we were lied to…how?”

The Klendethuins answered “we did not attack Sorak nine…”

Ericson responded “I was there. I saw it.”

They answered simply “the council cloned some of our people to justify this conflict… they have been on decline for generation’s…they thought they could exploit our resources…and take advantage of the humans in the process.”  

Ericson sighed “those are steep claims…do you have any proof?”

A smaller Bug approached slowly  holding a small SICON issue device the Klendethuins explained “we were able to get this device off a trader we know…it contains all the evidence of the council plot against us.”

Ericson slowly took the device saying “futuba?”

The woman took it saying “on it boss…no viruses….no malware….It is a SICON Drive….accessing the data….holy hell.”

Ericson said coolly “Private?”

Futuba said “Lower your visor LT…I will send the data.”

Ericson did and it was all there  records, contracts…war plans…planning meetings…failed cloning attempts…kidnapping…probing raids…the first contact incident as an attempt to secure natural resources’ from earth… the pivot to having us fight the war for them…plans for genocide.

Ericson said “Futuba…”

Futuba answered “it is legit…it has base code in it…impossible to replicate…it is from the council…holy shit.”

Ericson’s eyes went cold as he said to the Klendethuins “thank you for telling us…this changes everything…Dagger Pull back…”

The Watson:

Hailey looked over the data Dagger brought back again saying “Holy fuck…”

Will sat across from her “they set it up from day one…It figures we just happen to have a ship in the region when they attack… they got us hard…studied there history…used us to build a WMD just to get damn resources.”

Hailey nodded “Listen…A council security officer is here for your operation…You told him you had scrub…because there was nothing in that cave?”

Will nodded “not sure if he bought it.”

Hailey sighed “hopefully he did…he leaves and we get this data to SICON…”

Will nodded “this is the end of our involvement with the council isn’t it?”

Hailey laughed “I don’t see it ending any other way.”

Will sighed “I will tell the squad.”

Conference room:

The Officer demanded “what do you mean they were not there!?” he demanded to the not quite full squad with Abebi and Chruchill still in quarantine.

Ericson nodded “it means your intel was wrong Again.”

The intel officer looked however his species looks when they are smug “or they tired whispering in your ear…passing on some intel that is clearly forged.”

The jig was up so Ericson stepped forward “is it?0…we checked it…it is legit.”

The officer groaned “damn humans…can’t even use you as cannon fodder like we wanted!”

The squad demanded “so what now?”

The alien sighed “this will not leave this ship.”

Abebi and Churchill entered  and the dog sniffed the air before looking at the alien and sitting.

[rudra-writes]

Barnaby Meets Tiaal (Part 6)

A roleplay story with Tiaal’s player. Vindicator Barnaby encounters a mysterious Rangari woman while on AU Draenor. (Advisory for nsfw themes.)

Barnaby swallows, leaning into Tiaal's kisses. When she pulls back, he finds he needs to take a moment to figure out his precise feelings. He's never been in a situation like this before.

Finally, he raises his head to look back at Tia. "You have a loving relationship, then? Happy?" he asks quietly. Barnaby lowers his eyes, and nods. "He must be an amazing guy, for having won the heart of a woman so astonishing as you." The vindicator raises his head, regarding Tiaal curiously. "I don't want to stop. It's hard for me to say what I think of your husband, when I've not met him. But if he would not mind this..."

Barnaby wonders if he's going to be able to have sex with Tiaal, without becoming attached. She already has a husband... Surely, becoming too emotionally attached would cause complications?

“He won’t.” She says, voice firm and resolute. Then it softens as she continues, picking up the love she feels for her husband. “He’s a sweet man, and we’ve been together a long time. It’s a very loving relationship, I’m not using you to cheat on him, and I promise you won’t be chased off clutching your trousers.” A hint of her earlier teasing comes back as she addresses the most likely fears, as if she’s gone over this before. She trails her hand that was on his cheek down to loosely hold one of his chindrils. “I like you, Barnaby. I wouldn’t have brought you home otherwise.”

The ends of Barnaby's mouth finally lift back up into a smile, and he nods. He then laughs, blushing a little blue. "Well. That was somewhat startling! I appreciate that you told me this, though. Hum. Where were we." He reaches to put his arms around her back again, his playfulness returning. "I seem to recall you were looking astonishingly gorgeous. I volunteered to take your clothes off, but you've left me with only your trousers. Not that that's a bad thing."

Tiaal’s smile is slow and generous, and she presses back against him. “I’ll let you do mine if you let me do yours.” She says, giving a little wiggle of her hips before she uses his shoulders and stands up on her knees so that he can start to work at the fastenings of her pants.

Having this beautiful, topless female draenei stand on her knees so that he can take her pants down is what finally brings Barnaby back into the mood he was in earlier. He shifts himself closer to Tia on the bed, leaning in to start to kiss and lick under her jawline, trailing his mouth down the front of her neck and over her clavicles, and then down over one of her amazing, full breasts. He fixes his mouth to her teat and starts to lick and suck, his other hand palming her opposite breast. The action soon has him gasping. "Oh, Tiaal..."

He switches his mouth over to the other side, giving it the same attention of licks and sucks while his large fingers roll the opposite nipple. His cock quickly hardens again, and it's faster this time. Something about pulling through such an unexpected revelation as learning about Tiaal's husband, makes him feel as if he can trust her. Still working her breast over with his mouth, Barnaby lowers his hand to loosen the laces of her pants, slipping them down her hips, then reaching around to squeeze her soft rump.

She moans and throws her head back as he kisses down her front, her hands fisting in his hair and around his crest as he suckles at her breast, arching into his touch. When he switches to her other breast she lets her hands fall to his chest, back to teasing and twisting the barbels in his nipples, enjoying the hard muscle underneath her hands, and gasping when he finally gets her pants over her hips and his hands on her ass, her tail coiling over one of his forearms. A moment more and the pants are tossed across the room with haphazard abandon.

“Your turn,” she says when she senses he’s had his fill of her breasts for now, putting both of her hands flat on his chest and pushing against him. It’s similar to a human pushing at an elekk, she couldn’t move him that way if she wanted to, but he gives to her and lays back so she can slide down his front to sit between his legs and undo the laces at his crotch with agonizing slowness, her eyes focused on the sheer size of him as she peels his clothing back with a sort of hunger in her expression.

Barnaby laughs quietly under his breath when Tiaal pushes him down against the bed, his eyes closing. He hadn't expected he might receive oral sex so soon, but he's certainly not about to complain; instead he rests his head up on his arm where he lies indulgently against the pile of pillows. His cock strains against his pants fabric as Tia unbuckles his belt and loosens the laces, then pops out when he's finally freed. Barnaby sighs pleasantly, enjoying the attention. He's not lacking in the pants department, and his balls are also large.

"Do you like what you see, my lady?" the vindicator croons.

“False modesty doesn’t suit you, Barnaby,” she says, trailing a single finger along the underside of his cock, balls to tip. “But yes, I do happen to like what I see.” She grips him by the base and, keeping her eyes on him, licks his frenulum, that sensitive bit of skin at the tip where the glans meets the shaft, before wrapping her lips around his head. Her other hand is between her own legs, fingers already coated with her arousal. She plays with herself while she licks and sucks him, and soon the air is perfumed with the smell of sex, heady and thick.

Privately, Barnaby is impressed by Tiaal's boldness, and her lack of hesitation at taking control of the situation. He cracks his eyes open with a low, long groan at the first touches of her fingers and her tongue to his cock, the knuckley fingers of the hand not behind his head gripping the bedsheet.

Tia's mouth feels exquisite around his sensitive head, and in no time he's hardening against her tongue, his cock thickening further at the stimulation. Barny is quite vocal, if subdued: He hums, makes growling purring noises, and flinches his hips just a tiny amount whenever Tiaal's tongue or lips move over his flesh in a way that feels especially nice.

It isn't long before he's at his full arousal, standing massive and proud at Tia's attention. "Ah, Tiaal," he murmurs adoringly. One of the side effects of being well-endowed was that merely having an erection felt very noticeable and pleasant for him.

He'd been content to touch and tease at the outset, but now that Tia is working his cock over so well, the thought of her riding him becomes foremost in his thoughts, indulgent and pleasing for them both.

“My, aren’t you a big one,” she murmurs when she sees his full girth. It’s not a complaint, more appraisal, a sizing up of how things should progress. She continues to work him a bit longer, taking note of what moves cause him to rock his hips or moan, and she appreciates that he doesn’t try to hold her hair or her horns while she pleasures him.

She tastes his pre-cum beading at his tip one too many times in close succession, not unpleasant, but she wants him to last, and she’ll need some more attention than her own fingers if this is going to work. She reluctantly pulls her lips away from him and crawls up his body, rubbing his cockhead against her sex, moaning as it brushes past her clit.

He's helpful, steadying Tiaal over himself as she climbs up over his body, then removing the hand behind his head to hold the base of his cock. Barny starts to roll his hips, the head of his cock sliding up and over her clit, then down teasingly along her folds to the back, then back up to brush her clit again. He teases her in this way, the sensations heady and pleasant for them both. "How's this working out for you, Tia?" the vindicator husks.

“You have my slick coating your cock, do you have to ask?” She replies, and cants her hips so that he catches at her entrance, just for a second. She props herself up on his chest enough to grab one of his tendrils with a firm grip, sliding down its length. “You’re a big man, Barnaby. I may need your fingers to lead the way of your cock.”

Barnaby moans at the grip to his tendril, his eyes closing for a moment. "Aye," he replies agreeably to Tia's request, his large hands switching position to slide over her rounded rump, squeezing it softly before trailing his fingers lower. The broad pads slip carefully around and over her labia and clit, becoming slick with her juices, before he inserts a finger inside.

He's considerate, watching Tiaal's face and body for signs of how deep he should press, the fingers of his other hand circling her clit, or sometimes moving around to squeeze her buttock appreciatively. Barnaby’s cock drips pre-cum at the intimate touches, and although his hunger for her continues to intensify, he's mindful of her comfort, only adding a second finger when she seems ready.

She moans in response, moving up and changing her angle so that she’s straddling his waist and leaning back, giving him a good view as he works, propping herself up with hands on his muscular thighs. Her tail snakes back to curl around the base of his cock in absence of any other stimulation, and it isn’t long till she’s bouncing on his fingers, encouraging him to go deeper and harder. When he manages to find and press against that perfect spot inside of her she gasps his name as her eyes darken, nodding when she meets his own. She grinds against his fingers and when his thumb starts a steady circling of her clit it’s only a matter of time until she cries out his name as her orgasm washes over her.

It hadn't originally been his plan to bring Tia to orgasm from his fingers, but seeing the way her eyes darken and hearing her gasp his name, he redoubles his efforts, thrusting his fingers to press her sweet spot quickly and firmly, his thumb flicking against her clit. "That's it, Tia, Light, you're so beautiful," he murmurs quietly, feeling her squeezing around his fingers.

Barnaby slows down some as Tiaal rides out her orgasm, not wishing to over-stimulate her. His own cock is rock-hard, but he lets them both rest a moment, his broad hand wandering up to palm her large breasts. He then sits up, encouraging Tiaal into his arms so he can caress her warmed, sweaty skin, and kiss down her neck.

She melts against his chest in post-orgasmic bliss, movements slow at first, until she turns into his neck and nips her way down it to his shoulder. She feels his erection hard against the curve of her ass and she grinds against it, his pubic bone meeting her clit and teasing the sensitized flesh.

“I think it’s past time we did something about that pole of yours, don’t you?” she murmurs into the skin behind his ear, lifting up on her thighs to set the head of his cock against her entrance. Her orgasm and his fingers had loosened her, but still she works herself onto his cock cautiously, feeling the stretch before she’s even gotten halfway down.

Barnaby had been thinking he might ask Tia to lay on her back, and he'd lick and pleasure her for a time to prepare her for another round, but she seems to be ready to go as she is. Her whispered words behind his ear make the big vindicator shiver with lust. It's all he can do to wrap his arms around her back, moaning low and deep and bassy as he feels his cock moving up inside her wetness. He presses his face against her shoulder, hyper-focused on the sweet squeeze around himself and the pop of his head fitting inside.

As Tia lowers onto his cock, Barny gently starts to lean her back, settling her down on her back with her head against some pillows. His thick arms come to support himself over her, covering her with his warm body and tilting her legs upwards to give himself leverage to be able to thrust. Face to face as they are, he's able to kiss her on the lips sweetly as he hilts himself, and so he does.

“Light you are huge!” she breathes into the kiss, feeling him stretch her nearly to her limit. She lifts her legs to hook them around his hips, giving him a better angle to work with. She thinks to warn him to be gentle with her, but his actions so far have been nothing but considerate, and as he starts to move over her she finds she doesn’t have to. She focuses on her breathing and his scent, the whiskey that still clings to him along with his musk, and runs her nails down his muscular back to rest on his ass, feeling him tense as he sets his rhythm.

Barnaby gives Tiaal a crooked, pleased smile at the comment about his size. "Good?" he breathes, rubbing her shoulder with a hand as he pulls himself back, pulling mostly outside of her except for the head, then thrusting back into her. His eyes are glazed, and his face has regained that hazy, pleased look he'd had earlier.

He manages to keep his strokes slow, working on his angle until he's hitting her sweet spot with his presses. Barnaby continues like this until he finds he's reaching the limit of his ability to continue to be gentle. He starts to thrust faster, harder, watching Tiaal's face for cues, his cock throbbing inside of her. "Light, Tiaal..."

She’s meeting his thrusts long before he starts to pick up his pace, writhing underneath him. She catches his hands and places them on her breasts, but even that isn’t enough change of movement for her and she’s soon tickling his side with her fingers, nudging him with a knee on the same side.

“Roll over, I want to ride you for the last of it,” she purrs into his ear. “Or you could take me on my knees, whichever you prefer.”

Barnaby's eyes crinkle, and he chuckles good-naturedly at Tia's tickling to his side to encourage him to move. "Mmmm, decisions." They both sound wonderful, and his cock twitches inside her at her suggestions. "I'd enjoy having you on your knees, since I'm being given a choice in this matter. Difficult decision though it is!" He starts to move back to allow her to re-position herself.

She grins at him and kisses his nose before shifting up, feeling him part from her with a pop. She gets herself in the new position quickly, lifting her tail to him and looking back at him fetchingly with a come hither smile.

Whatever spooky thing Tiaal may have said earlier about having a husband is forgotten for the moment as Barnaby gets into position behind her, stroking his full cock with one hand. He admires her succulent rump, leaning in to press a kiss to the soft flesh, then straightens himself, sliding the head of his cock against her labia before positioning it at her entrance.

Barnaby slides inside Tia with a sighing groan, taking hold of her hips and bringing her rump back against him, his balls warm against her soft skin. He can't remember the last time he's been pleasured so thoroughly by a female draenei, and enjoyed himself so much while doing so. He places one hand against her back, the other holding Tiaal's hip, and begins to move, his cock thrusting into Tia at a hungry pace.

Barny's eyes gaze downwards at his cock moving in and out of Tia's slicked entrance, his gaze dimmed with lust. The sight causes him to pick up his pace, thrusting faster and harder, his balls slapping her rump as he feels his own release building. His gaze wanders over the muscles of her back, up to her hair and elegant lady-draenei horns, and feelings of deep, primal satisfaction well within him, that he's fortunate enough to mate with such a beautiful draenei.

"Tia," Barnaby gasps, his voice strained as he throws his back into it, pounding into her. He can feel things coming to a head. "Tia, come with me."

Tiaal drops to one elbow, her other hand seeking her clit to give her that little extra oomph she needs to get there at the same time as Barnaby does. Her fingers brush against the base of his cock and the top of his balls almost as much as they rub her own sex, and she’s soon pushing back into him and squeezing down even tighter around him as she reaches her own climax.

“Light, Barnaby, I’m almost there!” She hangs on that precipice till Barnaby begins to come himself, his explosive grunts and sounds as well as the feel of him pulsing deep within her tipping her over the edge and into her own orgasm. They buck and writhe together, furious and passionate, until both of them are spent. Tiaal feels the heat of Barnaby’s chest as he falls forward, reaching around her to palm one of her breasts as they regain their respective breaths. She feels his tendrils against her shoulder and then his lips against her neck, warm and wet.

Neither of them had heard the front door in the midst of their lovemaking.

“Tiaa?” A pleasant male voice calls from somewhere else in the house - the living room, most likely. “Tiaa dear, I’m home!”

[justalonesomepotato]

Rant? Personal Talk? Eh?

It feels wrong, weird, stupid even. Its makes my brain go so muddled, and it makes my chest start to ache, whenever I start typing or explaining. I want to explain to these people why, I want to figure this out and try to solve the riddle that is my literal mind, but whenever I start writing everything feels wrong. It feels so fucking pathetic when people are going through so much more. It feels so open and exposed, and nothing terrifies me more than that. It feels like useless, not worth the effort, because for all the anxiety that its going to produce, I know that only one person is going to pay attention. And this is the person that I am most terrified to know. Talking about personal crap is one of my biggest personal struggles, but I’ve always found it harder to talk about things with people I know than people I don’t know. Words are a hard thing to muster. So I don’t know how far into this I’m going to go, how much of the fucking long, long, long-ass haul I’m going to rant about. No matter how much I talk about, I always seem to come away wishing I had said more, or thinking of more that I needed to say. So, I guess we’ll get started? Now the awkward place is where to start, heh. I guess we’ll start from the beginning. My Mum is from a a bad background, abusive parents, leaving home and moving away when she was very young. She was pretty much forced into marriage with another disgusting, perverted man, my father. He didn’t do much use, with my Mum doing all the housework and home care while we lived on a farm, paying for all the expenses, caring for us, etc. Fortunately they divorced when we were quite young, which wasn’t so great for my Mum. She was left alone on a big farm having to manage all the expenses and massive tasks, young children, no family support, and continued trouble with my father. The same man who went behind my mothers back and befriended her family. To this day, he visits and has a close relationship with her abusive family, absolutely adoring tempting and teasing her. Later on, she started dating another man. An alcoholic, an abuser, another lazy asshole. We moved. She gave birth my younger sister, which to this day suffers the effects of an alcoholic background and highly violent behavior. He couldn’t deal with a child, left us to move across the other side of the country somewhere. He too provided my mother with absolutely nothing to assist her, and the court is still chasing for the debt he owes. Myself and my younger brother continued to see my father, who also remarried to a woman with two children. She was horrendous, still is… A woman who slaps her children in dedication to her religion. He would spoil us with outings and sweets, but he was never there when it mattered. There were times when he would slip up, make comments, curse, get drunk. He put ideas in our heads, made us says, manipulate us. Things went downhill when I got ill. I don’t know how it happened, where it came from, why it was happening. I don’t recall anything from that time, about how I was feeling, or how I looked apart from pictures my Mum had of me. I got diagnosed with anorexia nervosa and obsessive compulsive disorder, and was in and out of hospital visits, therapists offices, doctors officers. I was probed and touched and questioned. There was a time when another alcoholic, crude family member made me strip off my clothes until I was naked, and stand in front of the mirror while they poked and chastised me. There were times when things were particularly bad. My Mum got uncontrollably angry at one point, screamed and threw glasses at me because I couldn’t eat. I got scared, called my father, and he called the police. When they arrived, they ridiculed me for a while about how I should respect my mother. I agree, but I don’t think it was the best solution for a terrified child. There was a time in the heat of summer when I was locked away in my bedroom for days, because I was told no one wanted to see my face. One time at my fathers house, I couldn’t eat, my stepmother left, told me that it was my fault her marriage was being ruined. And one of the worst nights… When I was locked in a hot car, yelled and screamed at while my father stood back smirking, only to come home where I thought I was safest and have a bottle of pills thrust in my face, demanding that I take them and quote “never have to be seen again.” After that, I moved into my mothers house where I am now. He used to try to send me stuff, until I started fighting back and telling him no. He used to send my cards with creepy quotes, one time for a birthday sending me poems of rape, incest and domestic abuse against women. Around the same time, I found out that he as one of the authors, that he used to get my mother involved in the production of his little stories. Schools always been hard… Through it all, I’ve always been the weird, anxious outcast kid that gets laughed at and things thrown at me. Highschool was alright at first, until my anxiety started getting worse. When I was 15 years old, I started self harming… I thought it was bad back then, heh. When I was 16, I tried to commit suicide three times, everytime unknown to everyone but myself. Twice with suffocation, once with pills. I could never go through with it, no matter how much I wanted it at the time. It was around this time that I made my deepest cut. It probably needed stitches, bleeding for 3 days straight, but I dealt with it on my own beneath my school skirt. The anxiety got worse. I tried working in hospitality when I was 16, but I found myself throwing up before and after work due to the anxiety of it. My coworkers laughed at me, being the awkward, clumsy kid, and there was no reason for me to stay, so I left. I’m at a point now, where my anxiety is so fucking bad that even the simplest of things is a struggle… Talking to others, eye contact, being called on, paying for things, leaving my home, anything Social, noise, crowds, shaking hands, revealing my body in any way, assessments… Each and everyone gives me an anxiety attack. I hate my fucking hands because of all they’ve suffered and continuing to suffer, showing the extent of my anxiety, past disorders and childhood scarring. So much so, that now with my anxiety peaking so high, I have to wear a jumper/sweater/cardigan to pull over my hands all year round. I avoid any form of hand contact, my hands fucking disgust me, and people only stare with judgement when they finally see or notice. T-That’s something I’ve never admitted before, and never will again. A few weeks ago, I had a school retreat that was compulsory to attend. It was one of the most open experiences of my life, and it terrified me. When we were forced to go on a date with someone of the opposite sex, I physically couldn’t. When I had locked myself away, and I was crouched on the ground unable to breathe, I knew how bad my anxiety and the pressure had gotten. A coupe of teachers made me come out and talk with them, while I was gagging on a fucking anxiety attack. These are people I see everyday, and now I cant even fucking look at them, I’m so ashamed that anyone had to see me like that. Its been a few weeks since then, and its still managing to get worse, everything has. For years now, I’ve been struggling with another illness… Doctors have bounced around with diagnosis’, but nothing fits. Nausea, throwing up, dizziness, fatigue, weakness, headaches, pain in my sides and back, excruciating pain down my legs… Other stuff has started happening too; hair falling out, problems with my skin, bruising, joint pain. I have an idea, but I don’t want to say it incase it might be true… Maybe I’m just exaggerating. No one knows the extent of that either, what's truly happening with my health and how much I've physically deteriorated over the past year or so. On top of that, there is the constant never ending anxiety, the self harm, the panic attacks, the depressive episodes that draw me away from others at months on end. I will hopefully be going to university next year, despite that causing us more debt, and worrying me about my anxiety which will no doubt be sky rocketing with this unfamiliarity. The future terrifies me, how bad my anxiety will be when everything is so unfamiliar, how bad it will get when I have to do so much scary adult stuff. My head is filled with this all day, every day, and I don’t want any one else to have to experience that. I don’t want people to have to deal with me, I don’t want people to experience that burden. And even if they insisted, I physically can’t, not with everything in my being, I can’t. No one knows about this story, absolutely no one knows about my whole story out there. Even this here, this is not my whole story and there are many elements I have avoided speaking of. People call me weird and stupid and an outcast, even my friends look towards me with judgement, and I ducking hate myself for it. But even so, they could never know what was really happening behind the happy, carefree mask. So I’ve well and truly accepted that I’m going to be alone for a long while, until I’ve done what I need to, and I can allow myself leave. I don’t trust anyone that much to get that close, it terrifies me to get that close, to reveal myself in that way only to be consistently judged as I have in the past. I know how people respond, but they don’t know it like I do, how corrupt absolutely everything else and how every single aspect of life is strenuous on me and those around me. Those people who insist otherwise… You don’t know me, and you will hopefully for my sake and yours never get the chance. So that’s why… That’s why I can’t… That’s why I’m like this. I’m sorry.