#and make them make friends with characters from something else

[starlostjisung]

- drunken night

PAIRING: hyunjin x reader

GENRE: fluff; established relationship

WC: 2.1k

CW: mentions of alcohol, being drunk

SUMMARY: after you get a call to pick your boyfriend up after getting drunk, you discover that what they say it’s true: only drunks and children tell the truth

hi!! i had a lot of fun writing this and think it’s something really sweet that could definitely happen. again, your thoughts and comments are deeply appreciated and i hope you enjoy this story as well <3

it was almost midnight when you got the call. you had been all day at home doing chores while hyunjin had been with the boys rehearsing for their upcoming comeback. when the night came, he told you that the boys were going out to have dinner and relax for a bit before he went home. you busied yourself making dinner and catching up with the latest drama you were watching.

when you got the call you were a bit surprised. it was changbin, saying that they had been drinking and hyunjin got things out of his hands. “seriously, y/n, one minute he was fine and the next thing we know is he’s crying out for you saying that he wants you to be here with him or go home with you”. well, this did not surprise you at all. one of your and hyunjin’s favourite things to do whenever you had a day off was to relax at home, and cuddle on the sofa while watching a movie or simply just enjoying time together.

you told changbin that you would go and pick him up. the restaurant where they were was not far from your apartment, you could go there walking. you put your shoes and coat on, and left to get your drunken boy.

~

when you got there, it was not easy to miss the 8 chaotic boys. while some of them were clearly in a worse state that others - you had han standing on a chair reciting something while seungmin was challenging him to say something else while recording him - you saw hyunjin and completely understood the reason why changbin called you. he was sitting with his eyes closed mumbling incoherent things - you swear you heard your name along with some other words - and he was definitely more than ready to call it a day and go home.

once changbin saw you there, he instantly shook hyunjin to make him come to his senses and realise that, after talking about you and begging for you for almost and hour, you were finally there. “hyunjin man, come on look, y/n is here to get you”. hyunjin opened his eyes like a cartoon character and he looked around the restaurant trying to find you. when his eyes set on you, your eyes were the ones who opened almost dramatically. “changbin don’t mess up with me, y/n is not here”. you looked at him confused because at this point you were standing right in front of him. “man he’s standing right in front of you” it was bang chan’s turn now to try to make hyunjin come to his senses. “not you too, chan, don’t mess up with me.”, “babe, i’m here right in front of you”. hyunjin looked at you once again and frowning he told you “excuse me but i think i can recognise my girlfriend and you are not my girlfriend”. he was so drunk he could not recognise you.

the boys that were watching the scene - and were not as drunk as hyunjin - couldn’t help but laugh at this. you joined them in their laughter because the scene seemed straight out of a drama. you, going to get your drunk boyfriend from a restaurant. your boyfriend, drunk till the point of not recognising his own girlfriend. “hyunjin, you saw changbin earlier calling y/n to come and get you and she’s here now.”, “no she’s not.”, “yes she is”, “no, she’s not” it was lee know now who was trying to fix things but hyunjin wasn’t having any of it. you had to take a different approach if you wanted to take him home.

“he’s right, i’m one of y/n’s friends, she called me to get him to their house because she couldn’t come”, the boys looked at you weirdly. “ya! i told you i could recognise my own girlfriend, you were just trying to confuse me”, “you’re going to be so embarrassed in the morning hyung” i.n said and the boys laughed. “hyunjin are you ready to go? y/n is waiting for you at home”, hearing this, hyunjin got up at an incredible speed, while bumping into different things, got his things, said goodbye to the boys, and left the restaurant to go home with you, or rather go home to you on his mind.

~

on your way home you were making sure he didn’t bump into things and could make it home in one piece, he was part of paboracha after all. “so is y/n waiting for me at home?”, “yes, she is” you replied. he sighed, “i’m sure she’s laying on the sofa with a blanket and watching her favourite drama or something, that’s what we usually do when we have a day to ourselves”, you smiled at your boyfriend, who couldn’t help but talk about you even in this drunken state that he was. changbin was right. “and what other things do you do together?” your curiosity got the best of you and you were going to use this opportunity to hear what your boyfriend had to say about you. “lots of things, we like to spend together all the free time we have because it’s not a lot but we always try to make it special”

“that’s really sweet hyunjin, i’m sure she’s very happy” you were, extremely happy

“i’m happy too, she makes me really happy. when we’re at home watching her dramas, we always cuddle on the sofa, or she sits between my legs and lets me play with her hair. she used to play with mine too but look, i’ve cut it!” he suddenly turned towards you and showed you his buzz cut hair, which you had already seen and passed your hands through many times.

“yes, i can see it”

“it’s a buzz cut now” he told you again pointing at it

“yes, hyunjin i see it” you laughed at him

“i can wait for it to grow so she can play with it again” with that he started walking towards your apartment again. it was a calm night, and you two walking in silence only added more peace to it. you were at ease. you were happy. it seemed like it was only you and him in the world.

“we also cook together sometimes too” he started talking again

“really? do you two cook together?” that was a bit of a lie

“well, she cooks and i help her, or i sit in the kitchen, watching her while she prepares the food” yes, that sounded better. you loved whenever he joined you in the kitchen, but he was not the best of chefs, let’s just say that.

“thought so”

“sometimes i draw her while she’s cooking” he told you, although you already knew this obviously

“you do?”

“yes, i love drawing, especially things that make me happy, and she makes me the happiest, so i draw her the most”

“that’s really sweet hyunjin”

“i draw her when she’s cooking, other times when she’s sitting in the living room working with her laptop, messy hair and comfortable clothes while she’s concentrating on something”

you already knew all of these things, you had caught him drawing you many times before, but something about having hyunjin in a still drunken state and telling you all this - while he thought that you weren’t his girlfriend - made your heart warm. the number of people who were afraid of what their partners could say about them behind their backs, and here you had hyunjin proclaiming his love for you once more.

“i also draw her when i’m alone and i need inspiration” he continued

“wait really?” you didn’t know this, you hoped he would do that but you never wanted to intrude, so you never asked him

“yes, most of my drawing books are full of drawings related to her. her favourite things, places we have visited together, things that remind me of her. others are drawings of her eyes, her hands, pictures of us that i have drawn. it’s all about her”

right, you did not want to cry in the middle of the street, but you couldn’t help but let a few tears out after hearing hyunjin tell you all of this. you already knew you were incredibly lucky to have hyunjin in your life, but whenever you discovered one of these things you had to thank your lucky stars for putting him in your life. you would always be thankful.

“oi look!, that’s y/n’s apartment” you hadnn’t realised that you had arrived to your street, you were busy trying not to cry anymore.

you went upstairs and as soon as you got inside your house, hyunjin started calling out for you “y/n! sweetheart, i’m back!” he had sobered up a little bit, but not enough to recognise you. “y/n? where are you?”, “hyunjin, i’m sure y/n is in the bathroom or something, come on, let’s get you to bed”, “wait a second i need to get something” and with that he disappeared and went to get who knew what. you took your shoes and coat off and went inside your living room when you heard him running again, “look what i have! look look!”

it was one of his drawing books, the one he had been talking about, and just like he had told you, it was full of drawings of you. drawings about you. drawings of you two together. drawings that you never knew they existed until tonight. drawings that made you fall more in love with him as you passed each of the pages that showed his heart. because that’s what they represented, the things he loved. what he had on his mind and heart. you.

you were getting emotional again and hyunjin saw it “why are you crying? do you not like them?”, bless his heart, he was so confused.

“no hyunjin, i love them. they are very special. i think you should show y/n these drawings, she’s going to love them”

“you sure?”

“of course hyunjin, these are special to you, i’m sure she would love to see them if you are willing to show them”

“yes! i will show her these drawings when she goes out of the bathroom”

“no hyunjin, i think it will be better if you got to bed and sleep, and then show her these drawings drawings tomorrow”

thankfully, he agreed with you. you accompanied him to your bedroom and you were going to help him get to bed before he stopped you “i’m sorry, you’re beautiful but i have a girlfriend so i only want her help” you laughed, he was right, you weren’t his girlfriend. so you said your goodbyes to him and pretended to leave your house while in reality, you were going to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

after you did your skincare routine as fast as you could and got ready, you left the bathroom, got a glass of water for hyunjin - he was going to need it in the morning - and went inside your bedroom. he was fast asleep. you smiled at the sight in front of you. you left the glass on the table on his side of the bed, went to your side and got inside the table trying not to wake him up, with no luck.

“y/n?” he woke up a bit but he wasn’t fully awake

“hi babe, sorry i tried not to wake you. did you have fun with the boys tonight?” you turned around and hugged him while he laid his arms under your head for you to get closer to him

“yes, we went out to have dinner and drank for a bit, but nothing much, i’m sober” you laughed at that

“sober right”

“your friend came and she brought me home, she’s very nice”

“i’m glad that you think that” you laughed again

“but i like you more” you couldn’t keep it together anymore at that and laugh uncontrollably. he laughed with you, even if he didn’t know why you were laughing, just being there with you was enough for him.

“i have to show you something” he told you after you calmed down for a bit

“what is it?” you had to act surprised but smiled, his head was on top of yours so he couldn’t show you

“i can’t tell you, it’s a surprise”

“will i like it?” you already knew you were going to love it

“i hope you do, it’s all my love for you” you let a sigh through your smile. hyunjin was falling asleep you could tell.

“alright my love, can’t wait to see it tomorrow”

he did not reply, so you looked up and saw that he was fast asleep already. with his arms around you, his whole world between his arms. you couldn’t wait till tomorrow.

[burningcheese-merchant]

I like the fact that the devs agreed and added the parallel that the ancients are all very kind to themselves, even at their worst, how vulnerable they can be. In chapter 10, HB accepts Lily's wrongdoings, and despite the fact that it took her a while to process her trauma, she tries to make peace with her.

Now with the beasts, it's so different because, if you notice, despite having a problem, they don't try to change their ways. That's why most of them don't understand each other; their philosophy clashes greatly. Despite one of them claiming to be very close, in reality, each and every one of them feels so alone. It's undeniable how many people still believe they're close.

It's fascinating to see their parallels. It's good to know they're not close; it's complex and interesting. I want to add about episode 10 i feel outraged by the fact that no one talks about how complex ES's character was the last part of the episode made me cry because i know she only had one purpose when she was created and the fact that HB proposed to her to leave their garden and go with her was the most painful and touched me so much. (seriously my friends asked me if i was okay because i cried a lot LOL) everyone thinks it's an unrequited love, if it wasn't reciprocated HB wouldn't take the time to understand ES and explain to her that the world doesn't have to be perfect like she describes it. it's an episode with a queer tragedy explained in the hardest but sweetest way possible... And the game is from a country that litteraly is a sin to be like this or not good received as well.

All of the BxA r Indeed were pure art but with different narratives as well

Yeah definitely!! I've always loved the parallels between the Beasts and Ancients - not just individually, but as groups. While they both endured equally great suffering, in the end, the Beasts chose the easy way out. They chose darkness and despair. They chose to inflict their suffering onto others instead of properly addressing themselves and their shortcomings. And what's fascinating is that, for a time, the Ancients chose similarly: Golden Cheese succumbed to delusion and hid herself in a fantasy world in order to assuage her grief, Hollyberry abdicated and ran away from her family and her people and her life, drinking and fighting and partying her woes away, Dark Cacao built literal and figurative walls around himself and shut everyone out, Pure Vanilla was an amnesiac for a while, thus technically foregoing truth (albeit not necessarily by choice), then he allowed himself to be a Cookie of Deceit for a while, White Lily... we know what happened to her lol. But they managed to save themselves because they had each other. For each and every one of them, their salvation and enlightenment came when they remembered their bonds with each other and with others they care for. It was that sense of connection and community, which never ever broke despite everything that happened to them. And then opposite to them are the Beasts, who broke apart and descended into villainy because they themselves did not have those connections; not just in reference to them never having had the chance to live as normal people, but in reference to their bonds with each other specifically. I believe now more than ever that they never REALLY cared for each other. That they were never REALLY friends. If they were, why didn't they help each other when they started corrupting? Example, Burning Spice: I believe that what he needed the most was assurance that the cycle of change is not and does not need to be inherently painful or bleak. That there is good and meaning in that endless repetition. What would've helped was him having a constant in his life; someone or something that was always there with him even while everything and everyone else slipped away, as the cycle of change mandates. For all intents and purposes, the other Beasts should have been that constant; they're immortal too. They're gods too. They're his friends. They WERE his friends. Or... were they not? I don't really think so anymore. What the Ancients have together, the Beasts either had a very weak and fragile copy, or never really had at all. IF they were ever friends, they were pretty shitty ones lol. And that's a big part of why they corrupted, and why they're all so bitter and lonely: they each feel as though no one ever understood them or their struggles, not even their supposed "friends". Then these 5 thieves come along and inadvertently give them that lifeline, to which they all react differently (in how they express their attachment, I mean. They're all obsessed but they let it show differently and to different levels), but underneath those differences lies a shared feeling: "oh God, someone finally understands me, someone finally feels what I feel, I can't ever let them go, I need them". It's so horrendously sad and disturbing and darkly fascinating. I love it. I love these pairs, I love talking about them, I can do it forever

And I agree with you that Eternal Sugar is a complex and very interesting character, and I'm disappointed in the people that think otherwise (I hate saying this, but a lot of the complaints kind of sound like they're just butthurt that Eternalberry was canonized and they're looking for any excuse to tear the update down because of it). She seems to be a step above Mystic Flour in that she really, truly thinks she's doing something GOOD (MF behaves this way as well, but ES is legitimately delusional). She actually thinks she's helping people. Deep down, she DOES understand that she's a bad person and she's only hurting those she claims to care for, Hollyberry included, and this dialogue demonstrates such:

She seems to have succumbed to a form of insanity above that of other Beasts; she is still clinging to her old desires to carry out her godly duties and make people happy, but her perception of such has become so warped that she actually thinks things like keeping people in jars forever is making them happy. Furthermore, she purposefully orchestrates situations that "prove" her mindset and ideals correct (allowing people to leave the garden if they wish ("see? I'm not controlling! I'm not desperate! I'm not a dictator! You can leave, it's ok!"), but having them leave while smelling like the perfume that permeates the whole area so Beast-Yeast monsters are drawn to and attack them, thus forcing them back into the garden and further convincing them that it's a safe haven and they belong there). So much confirmation bias with Sugar, it's crazy. SHE is crazy. She is LEGITIMATELY crazy, a sort of crazy that the others aren't, not even Shadow Milk. It is delightfully awful. She is delightfully awful

And oh... Holly... Holly and Sugar... Passion and Sloth... Them...

One begs the other to stay... The other begs them to wake up and leave. Holly is now the second Ancient to fully, directly express understanding and sympathy towards their Beast. She's now the second to fully, directly state that she wants to be with their Beast.

She's HAPPY at the prospect of them being together. Of being two halves of a soul. She would GLADLY complete Sugar and let Sugar complete her... but Sugar has to wake up first. She has to see the error of her ways. She has to leave her garden. And Sugar agrees to this. She probably didn't really mean it, she was probably just swept up in the Yuri Wave and saying what she thought Holly wanted her to say, but even so. I think it's meaningful. Out of all the Beasts, I think Sugar has the best shot of being redeemed. And she has just the right Ancient to help her with such a thing. (Tbh I think they can all be fixed. Not easily, not right away, absolutely not. It would take time and effort and a lot of very painful conversations and realizations on everyone's part. But I think it can be done. Each of them has shown that one little seed of doubt, of regret, of disillusionment. Each one of them has faltered, if only for a moment. Because of that, I think somewhere deep down inside of them is someone worth saving. But that's just me haha) Beast x Ancient is 5 different, delicious flavors of a beautiful and compelling tragedy and they kill and resurrect me several times a day

[project-sekai-facts]

How likely is it that en sekai will botch Mizu5. Not as in like their usual spelling and grammar errors but like. They might genuinely mess up the story because they’re “not allowed to translate it like that” or something else? I’d be absolutely devastated if they did that because her identity is a major part of her character.

it's something i am a bit worried about because of their whole thing with they/them mizuki. it's not really something that works that well with they/them ambiguously gendered mizuki. i've said before how using she/her is what would make most sense for ensekai, she presents as female so by default characters who aren't portrayed as transphobic bullies should use she/her. annoyingly this was never really an option because even before the backlash that made them switch to exclusively mizuki's name or they/them when necessary the official statement was "whatever the other characters view mizuki as" which apparently translated to 'only kanade uses she/her and also ena that one singular time that was probably a mistake'.

like path of thorns hinges on the reveal to ena that mizuki is a trans woman. all of the dialogue from the bullies is stuff like "are you[cis girl ena] secretly a boy as well, why else would you be friends with mizuki" and "we're just messing, we knew you were a real girl [unlike mizuki who was born a boy]" like the trans woman reveal is everything for the last few chapters. that just doesn't work the same way if we go into it from the ensekai perspective of ena apparently viewing mizuki's gender as ambiguous. everything builds to that reveal of mizuki being a trans woman, but on ensekai ena is out here they/themming mizuki giving the impression she doesn't know what mizuki's gender is, or assumes she's nonbinary, which recontextualises that entire scene. like if ena already had these assumptions that mizuki might not be cis that card wouldn't be like that. that card is mizuki's POV of ena seeing her from an entirely new perspective, reevaluating everything she knew and putting the pieces together. LIKE ON ENSEKAI ENA ALREADY ASSUMES MIZUKI ISN'T CIS. THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING. IT'S A STORY ABOUT MIZUKI GETTING OUTED AS TRANS IT DOESN'T WORK IF THE PERSON SHE'S GETTING OUTED TO WHO ISN'T MEANT TO KNOW ALREADY KNOWS SHE IS TRANS. sorry it's 3am i can't word it better.

ensekai just shot themselves in the foot as soon as they decided to use anything other than she/her. the story literally doesn't work in english unless the characters are explicitly viewing mizuki as a woman. like ik pronouns=/=gender but we're talking a product that ensekai went super hard on trying to market to the general audience it's she/her or nothing for a female character. they/them has never made sense for mizuki's story since it implies everyone already is unsure of her gender/assumes she's Not Cis, which completely undoes the narrative of mizuki ACTIVELY HIDING HER TRANSNESS FROM PEOPLE. that is her WHOLE ARC.

ensekai could directly translate path of thorns word for word but it's gonna drop the ball as soon as they get to the bullies talking about "mizuki being a boy and ena being a real girl" because MIZUKI HAS NOT BEEN DEPICTED CLEARLY AS A GIRL ON ENSEKAI. even before the swtich to they/them only they were operating on "whatever people view mizuki as" like they've always treated her gender as ambiguous which admittedly jpsekai kinda did too (? in bio) but japanese rarely uses gendered 3rd person pronouns so it works in that game. you can get away with no other character gendering her for 4 years. english doesn't work like that you have to use gendered terms. if you pick the neutral ones that generally connote 1) someone you don't know the gender of or 2) a nonbinary person, it gives the impression that every other character in the game doesn't view her definitively as a woman.

like i think they'll just leave it intact when TLing but like they cannot keep they/themming her after classmate A or whoever literally confirms that mizuki identifies as a woman. and even if they frame it as a "now mizuki's out we'll be using she/her in TLs" it still removes so much from the original story that they had been depicting her as ambiguously gendered from the eyes of other characters until now. sorry if this is a mess as i said it's literally 3:30am

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character 2024 — Scripted Redemption Bracket — Round 5.5

Propaganda

Madge Stallion (Fawx & Stallion) (Boba Count: 2 and 1 shared):

Madge propaganda from a show that had the pleasure of guesting with her! At the end of the day no matter how you squeeze or present it, a great character is a great character and Madge is the best by a mile. Wonderful one-liners, complex and layered relationships with everyone in the cast around her, a messy and real depiction of female sexuality (especially a lesbian!) that she is never punished or demeaned for, and all of this brought to life in a performance that could make a phone book fun. Look and you’ll see: Madge’s writing and acting speaks for itself!

Madge is literally THE BEST EVER

Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats) (Boba Count: 2 and 1 shared):

Amazing character arc/growth; shadows follow her around; afraid of the sun; methanol is her drink of choice; is often told “I thought you were dead” despite a complete lack of evidence other than her deathly paleness; the morgue is her personal sanctuary; absolutely hilarious character; demanded to be co-owner of Funn Funerals with her brother rather than allowing him to continue running the business alone;(spoiler) decided NOT to get with her frenemy who she had been doing a will-they-won’t-they thing with the entire series!; writes smut in her free time

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359) (Boba Count: 1):

the most badass commander there is. she spent a week hunting a plant monster living on the air ducts of her station with a goddamn harpoon. she managed to keep her people alive and get them home. she managed to keep Eiffel alive for like five years and for that alone she deserves a fucking medal

vote Minkowski. I am not asking. do it.

Minkowski has ALWAYS been great

Art of Madge Stallion and Antigone Funn with thanks to @acornzest.

Additional propaganda below the cut:

Madge Stallion (Fawx & Stallion):

Madge Stallion was submitted without propaganda.

we gotta get our girl some propaganda. she would hate it, but the mystery of it all is kinda part of the appeal here.

Madge stallion NEEDS no propaganda

Madge: so sexy she needs no propaganda

#madge stallion is a great woman to lose to

#Madge she's a sassy lesbian detective what else do you want

#madge stallion needs no propaganda #by virtue of being madge

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

Raging lesbian in a lavender marriage

Seduced someone working for the enemy

Is just as chaotic and at time brain cell-less as her male companions

Loyal but still willing to call her friend since childhood out on his bullshit

She canonically fucks. Like in canon she fucks so much. See above about seducing the enemy and then pepper in her on again off again romance with Martha Hudson.

#madge propaganda time : #she will flirt with basically any girl she sees and oh she does it so well #also !!! she once flirted and got on with technically an enemy in the middle of a spying mission ???? #she went like 'oh sorry just gotta go to the loo' to go spy in the house got caught and flirted so well she 1/ got laid 2/ got information #3/ came back like nothing happened #with some motivation she could flirt and get a boner from a dead rock tbh #madge stallion IS THE SEXIEST

This is the woman who always has anything you might need in her bustle. Portable phonographs, certainly, but what else? Alcohol, without doubt. Knives? Probably. More knives? Wouldn't be surprised. Candy? Always good to have something to mollify Hampton with. More alcohol? Well, James can always do with a little nip. Another knife? Why not? Lockpick set? I mean, where do you keep yours?

Everyone messaging us “please let Madge kiss [redacted]” we will remember your support during this difficult time should this go our way

Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats):

#antigone!!!!!!!!! #i just need one chance with her #she's perfect

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

What on earth could possibly be sexier than being presumed dead by the village she lives in at large. She genuinely cares about funerals as an art form, she puts so much care into her work. Possibly bisexual if that helps. Ghost wrote a wildly popular erotic novel with the help of village’s reverend. Come on just please vote for Antigone I’m so very sleepy and I can’t think of more reasons but I promise they’re there

I'm voting for Antigone not because she's sexier (she is) but because she needs at least One Win in her life. #girl failure solidarity

1. she is very sexy. We know she's deathly pale, she's described as transparent more than once as well as green and blue-skinned, she's 35~38 depending on what season you're listening to. She's allergic to like everything.

Her hair is canonically always a mess and she uses it to hold on to bones and things she's gonna need later. She wears the same dress every day (it has a hole in it)

She's one with the shadows and can blend in with her surroundings to a supernatural degree.

2. She is rough and socially inept and artistic and the most passionate person you can imagine. She puts her heart and soul into her work as a mortician, SHE CREATES PERSONALIZED EMBALMING FLUIDS TO MAKE THE CORPSES SMELL NICE and she WILL tell you about it.

She is somehow always angry or flustered about something and she will pull victorian era phrases you cannot imagine. She's been saying Christ Alive since before it was cool.

3. SHE LOVES SEXY THINGS!! she is the most fitting for this tournament cause she's the queen of learning to accept her desires!! She loves old french films and their weirdly shot sex scenes, she's canonically really good at writing erotica and likes to read it too. There's a whole episode dedicated to her conquering her fears and appearing on a naked calendar. Also we hear glimpses of her fantasies and she wants to tie up and dom the guy she likes so there's that too I guess.

She spent 17 years locked in her mortuary cause she was sad. SHE WANTED TO BECOME A CLOWN AS A KID. She is everything to me and I love juno very much but she is sexier and deserves to be known that way. VOTE ANTIGONE

Antigone's mess might be an acquired taste, but I think it's a deeply attractive mess.

SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH A BLOND GUY ONCE SHE EARNED HER REST

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359):

She did not just spend one week hunting the plant monster, she spent TWO WEEKS hunting the plant monster. Later on, she used the very same harpoon to murder an evil capitalist WHILE SHE HAD A BULLET IN HER CHEST.

She's haunted by the memory of the first time she took a life, and what's sexier than a character with regrets?

She works out. Muscle women. Enough said.

She's devoted to protecting her crew above all else, and despite her self-doubt, she's REALLY damn good at it.

She's a theater kid! She loves musicals! She writes showtunes! Sondheim is her favorite composer!

She Russian-Roulettes a guy into not blowing up her ship, and does such a good job of it that he never even realizes there aren't any bullets in her gun.

She's been trapped in a time loop, possibly multiple times.

She's the best character in all of audio drama, I love her, she's beautiful, she's sexy, and she deserves every vote.

#minkowski my beloved. love of my life. other half of my heart. sexiest woman in podcast ever. i love her

#MINKOWSKI!!!!!! #i love her sooo much fun fact

#my girl! my favorite girl! she won! #let's keep this energy going everyone!

I don't really remember anything about Wolf 359 since I only listened to a few episodes so I'm throwing my lot in with whoever has the most compelling/funniest propaganda. I think this would be funny and I commit to nothing if not the bit

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

But. MINKOWSKI. Please read all that Minkowski propaganda I wrote and then consider voting for her. She's the love of my life and THE sexiest podcast woman, bar none.

Please. I beg of you. Read all the propaganda I wrote, and then vote Minkowski. If you're still not convinced:

She's a first-generation Polish immigrant, and a huge part of her arc is about feeling like she had to hide her identity and prove herself to make it in the US. When she lets her accent slip out in episode 52, it's the sexiest thing to ever happen.

She has the entire rule book for her space mission memorized so she can better take care of her ship.

She talks to ghosts on multiple occasions.

She has a gay little dynamic with the 2024 sexiest podcast character, Isabel Lovelace.

She expertly navigates multiple hostage situations.

Along with musicals, she's ALSO really into Sylvia Plath.

She lives under a rock and does not know anything about pop culture, which is adorable.

She writes show tunes!

[taravangians-storming-balls]

How to Write Moash - A Breakdown of Moash's Personality

A while back someone asked for some advice on writing Moash - they wanted to include him in their story, but since he’s such a divisive character they felt nervous about representing him accurately. Um. I accidentally made an entire document about it and figured I might as well share in case it's helpful to anyone else. It's long. (I'm sorry)

This is by no means exhaustive, and I’m very certain there are aspects of his personality I’m missing here, but it’s certainly a good start if you need a refresher on his personality or have never written him before. Obligatory these are my opinions and you’re free to write Moash in whatever way you wish ♥

Click here to read it in google doc format with headers and things or you can read the whole thing here below the read more:

Appearance

Might as well start here, just as a quick reference. Moash’s body type has been described as strong, lean, solid and tall. He has a narrow hawkish face, brown hair speckled with black, and a faded scar along his chin. The official figurine gives him curled, shortish length hair. His eyes are canonically dark brown that turn tan when he has his Shards, however, his eyes were accidentally described as dark green in an early release of TWoK and some people prefer to give Moash dark green eyes so you can do whatever the hell you want. Kaladin describes him as “a younger man, perhaps near Kaladin’s age”. More on that later.

Moash does not have slave brands on his forehead, and gets his Bridge Four tattoo on his left upper arm. Hot writing tip - depending on when in the timeline you’re writing Moash, you can have some fun with this tattoo. He’s no longer a part of Bridge Four, but forever will have marked in his very skin a reminder of the people he loved and then pushed away. Yippee.

General Personality / Tone

I feel like something some people forget with Moash is that he really is just some guy. Imagine a generic, grew up in a very masculine society, never got any therapy, doesn’t connect well with others DudeTM. He goes out with his friends. He's blunt. He wants the cool swords and powers. He doesn’t deal well with his emotions. He loves manual labor. Moash really is just some guy who is absolutely going through it.

In no particular order, here are some things about Moash. Some things I’ve left out of this list and only talk about in the Life Experiences section, because it’s more in the realm of analyzing than just selecting quotes to show off the things he does.

Skepticism

He didn’t expect or need their admiration. He knew what it felt like to be beaten down, despised. When you’d been treated as they had, you didn’t trust someone like Moash. You asked yourself what he was trying to get from you. (Oathbringer Ch. 51, Moash POV)

In the above quote Moash is referring to the singers he helps (Khen and Sah’s group), but to me, it’s clear he’s also talking about his own experiences. This was likely his exact internal dialog when he was busy hating Kaladin in the beginning of TWoK. Moash doesn’t trust easily, and generally needs people to prove one way or another their intentions before he accepts them. At the very least, he needs proof of what he’ll get out of a situation.

“I never promised it would work, Moash. If you’ve got a better idea, go ahead and share it.” Moash hesitated. “Well, if you really do teach us the spear like you promised, then I guess I don’t care.” (TWoK Ch. 46)

Moash has insecurities though, and can be played like a fiddle if people know where to press. Praise (of himself, his ideas, or his actions) and promises of power primarily does it for him.

He is also openly skeptical of things that don’t make sense to him and won’t hesitate to speak up about it, usually bluntly.

“Sigzil said these violet eyes of mine aren’t native to Alethkar. He thinks I must have Veden blood in me.” “Your eyes aren’t violet,” Moash said. (TWoK, Ch. 46)

This skepticism can lean pessimistic, and pops up in serious situations and normal everyday conversations.

To the side, the bridgemen turned back to work. Kaladin caught a few of them grumbling. “Bastard,” Moash said. “I said this would happen.” (TWoK Ch. 43, directly after Kaladin yells at Bridge Four that it’s hopeless and he won’t try any longer)

“Bah.” Moash dusted himself off. “He just saw a group of undefended archers and took the chance to strike. Lighteyes don’t care about us. Right, Kaladin?” (TWoK Ch. 62)

“It could have just been posturing,” Moash said, folding his arms. “Political games, him and Sadeas trying to manipulate each other.” (WoR Ch. 2, after Moash asks if Kaladin is willing to trust Dalinar)

Moash grimaced, looking at the bridgemen. “You assume some of them will be ‘more eager,’ Kaladin. They all look the same level of despondent to me.” (WoR Ch. 2)

“I think I’ll look silly in this,” Moash grumbled, but walked over to change. (WoR Ch. 2)

Trust

Moash is usually all in when he does put his trust in somebody or an idea, and it’s hard to shake him of this trust once he’s grasped it. In general, once he decides on something, it's hard to change his mind. This doesn't mean he doesn't listen - there are plenty of scenes where he listens to what Kaladin says - but it's hard to shake his worldviews once he settles on them. In any case, as soon as Moash decides he’s going to trust Kaladin, he’s immediately defensive of him and loyal.

“I’d surrendered my plans, but you’ve returned them to me. I’ll guard you with my life, Kaladin. I swear it to you, by the blood of my fathers.” Kaladin met Moash’s intense eyes and nodded. (TWoK Ch. 63)

“I have a plan,” Kaladin said. He waited for the objections. His other plans hadn’t worked. No one offered a complaint. “Well then,” Moash said. “What is it?” [...] Kaladin’s men nodded, and Moash seemed content. As contrary as he’d been originally, he had grown equally loyal. He was hotheaded, but he was also the best with the spear. (TWoK Ch. 62)

“I’ll never outrank you, Kal,” Moash said, faceplate of his helm up. “You’re my captain. Forever.” (TWoK Ch. 68)

It’s important to note that no matter how much Moash trusts someone, it won’t stop him from asking questions about what they’re doing - he won’t follow completely blindly.

Confidence

Moash acts with a lot of confidence, and will firmly state his opinions or what he thinks is true in blunt ways. Can be very confident of his own skills, and sometimes seems to take on the belief that if he just tries hard enough, he’ll be able to succeed at whatever lofty goal he has, sometimes in a way that feels boyish or naive.

“You shouldn’t speak so casually about the Fused, human,” Sah said, standing up. “They’re dangerous.” “Don’t know about that,” Moash said as two more passed overhead. “The one I killed went down easy enough, though I don’t think she was expecting me to be able to fight back.” He handed his waterskin to the overseer as she came around for them; then he glanced at Sah, who was staring at him, slack-jawed. Probably shouldn’t have mentioned killing one of their gods, Moash thought. (Oathbringer, Ch. 51)

He walked straight-backed with his chin up. Save for those dark brown eyes of his, he could have passed for an officer. (WoR, Ch. 2, Kaladin POV)

“Any man can win a Shardblade.” Moash said. “Slave or free. Lighteyes or dark. It’s the law.” “Assuming they follow the law,” Kaladin said with a sigh. “I’ll do it somehow,” Moash repeated. (TWoK, Ch. 46)

“We could swallow them,” Moash said. “You would choke. Spheres are too big, eh?” “I’ll bet I could do it,” Moash said. His eyes glittered, reflecting the verdant Stormlight. (TWoK, Ch. 55)

Questions

These trust issues, skepticism, confidence and bluntness leads Moash to asking a lot of questions and pushing back against things he doesn't get. He does seem to be genuinely curious why people do things, and was constantly theorizing why the Fused are doing certain things as he travels with the army. This isn’t scholarly curiosity, like Sigzil might have, just what feels like a need to know what’s going on. Moash isn’t afraid to walk up to nearly anyone and ask them about a situation, or why they’re doing something, no matter the position of the person he’s asking. I’d describe him as having a constant idle curiosity.

“What’d they do, anyway?” he said as he took up his rope. “What was that?” she asked, looking back at him. […] He didn’t actually expect an answer. (Oathbringer Ch. 48)

“So the gods,” Moash said, nursing his own drink, “were pleased that you solved problems on your own . . . by going to other gods and begging them for help instead?” “Hush,” Rock said. (WoR Ch. 46)

Moash strode right up to the creature. “I need to talk to someone in charge.” Behind him, Moash’s overseer gasped—perhaps only now realizing that whatever it was Moash was up to, it could get her in serious trouble. [...] Moash took a deep breath. “Can you tell me, then, why you treat your own so poorly?” (Oathbringer Ch. 54, it should be noted that Moash is a slave at this point)

To quote a Tumblr post of mine: This was 100% why he was talking to gaz in twok btw. I figure it was moments after kaladin punched moash in the stomach that he walked over like "yo where the fuck did this asshole come from"

And then, my personal favorite section which shows a lot of various Moash personality traits in my opinion:

“Something wrong, soldier?” Kaladin asked. Moash blinked in surprise at the use of the word, but he and the others had grown to expect all kinds of unorthodoxy from Kaladin. “Why did you make me leader of a subsquad?” “Because you resisted my leadership longer than almost any of the others. And you were flat-out more vocal about it than any of them.” “You made me a squad leader because I refused to obey you?” “I made you squad leader because you struck me as capable and intelligent. But beyond that, you weren’t swayed too easily. You’re strong-willed. I can use that.” Moash scratched his chin, with its short beard. “All right then. But unlike Teft and that Horneater, I don’t think you’re a gift straight from the Almighty. I don’t trust you.” “Then why obey me?” Moash met his eyes, then shrugged. “Guess I’m curious.” He moved off to gather his squad. (TWoK Ch. 30)

Defending Others/Reactiveness

When Moash is a target of hostility, he will often glare and grumble, or is snappish, but isn’t very explosive about it.

“Why do they do that?” Moash said quietly as a passing soldier tossed an overripe pile-vine fruit at the bridgemen. Moash wiped the stringy, red fruit from his face, then sighed and fell back into his stance. Kaladin had never asked them to join him, but they did it each time. (TWoK Ch. 57)

Moash climbed to his feet, rubbing his stomach and glaring at Kaladin. (TWoK Ch. 14, Moash directly after being punched in the stomach)

However, he’s very reactive when he sees something he doesn’t like, or when someone he’s attached to is being insulted.

“I’ll find a way to get them up,” Kaladin said. “You say things like that a lot,” Skar noted. “Leave off, Skar,” Moash said. “He knows what he’s doing.” Kaladin blinked. Had Moash just defended him? (TWoK Ch. 55)

The man looked him up and down. “I heard you held a bridge, practically by yourself, against hundreds of Parshendi. How’d you do that?” He did not address Kaladin with “sir,” as would have been appropriate for any other captain. “You want to find out?” Moash snapped from behind. “We can show you. Personally.” “Hush,” Kaladin said, glaring at Moash. (TWoK Ch. 5, Kaladin and Moash talking to a lighteyed Kholin guard)

The whipping began. The cries, the crack of leather on skin. That’s enough. (Oathbringer Ch. 48, Moash POV before he catches a whip to defend Khen and Sah’s group.)

He can also be fairly reactive in high stress situations.

“Would you two just storm off?” Moash snapped. “It doesn’t matter. You heard Kaladin. Even he thinks we’re as good as dead.” (TWoK Ch. 43)

Moash spat. “And this will accomplish something? Damnation, Kaladin, I feel like I’m already dangling from the noose!” (TWoK Ch. 62)

There is a balance to be found with Moash’s reactiveness, you don’t want to lean too far one way or another.

Moash moved up beside him. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “You’re right.” Kaladin smiled, this time genuinely. “I’m not going to pretend I don’t hate them,” Moash said. “But I’ll be civil. We have a duty. We’ll do it well. Better than anyone expects. We’re Bridge Four.” (TWoK Ch. 5)

Power

Moash is very routinely interested in the cool shiny things, things that give him power, and basically anything new as well. In many other spots I’ve included the quotes of Moash wanting a Shardblade, and in Oathbringer POV Moash says he dreamed of one for years.

The lean man had turned immediately at the mention of Shardblades, and now watched them hungrily. (WoR Ch. 16, Kaladin about Moash)

“I’d join them in a heartbeat,” Moash said, walking up behind. (WoR Ch. 46, about lighteyes)

He’s really eager to possibly learn Kaladin’s Radiant skills, and keeps butting in while people are talking to Kaladin about it to ask if he could teach them.

“Can you teach me to do what you did?” Moash cut in. (TWoK Ch. 73)

This is veering into the next main category about his life experiences, but I theorize that at least a portion of this desire for a higher position and power is that his life continuously beats him down and disappoints him over and over, and Moash wants to feel capable of fighting back. He's had very little control in his life, and craves it. Also power is cool and I’m pretty sure Moash likes cool things.

Worldviews

Moash believes in higher structures and relies on systems working. He likes structure, and likes to fit things somewhat into their spot. It’s a funny bit of contrasting ideals in Moash’s character, that he can be so skeptical of things and yet so willing to do what he’s told and believe in the correctness of societal structures he knows. He hates lighteyes, but he believes his society would work if there were only the correct people ruling. It’s almost as if Moash has a hard time imagining another option, the way he treats it. This gives him a certain naivety or childishness to his worldviews.

“Oh, I’m happy to punish [lighteyes],” Kaladin said. “But I have no desire to take their place, nor do I wish to join them.” “I’d join them in a heartbeat,” Moash said, walking up behind. He folded his arms across his lean, well-muscled chest. “If I were in charge, things would change. The lighteyes would work the mines and the fields. They would run bridges and die by Parshendi arrows.” [...] “Eye color is not so odd a method, compared to many others I have seen. If you were to overthrow the lighteyes and place yourselves in power, Moash, I doubt that the world would be a very different place. The abuses would still happen. Simply to other people.” Kaladin nodded slowly, but Moash shook his head. “No. I’d change the world, Sigzil. And I mean to.” (TWoK Ch. 46)

Moash shakes his head no to the abuses still happening if he were in charge and made lighteyes do those less desirable jobs. It doesn’t seem like he’s envisioning a world where lighteyes are abused, necessarily, but it’s hard to say what he IS actually thinking this would look like. He seems to trust that it would all just work out, thus the naivety I mentioned earlier.

More on this in the life experiences section, but Moash lost his family support structure at a young age (parents, and then grandparents), which likely made him lean more heavily on these outside society structures. 

Adding into this section that Moash is okay with a certain amount of violence and sacrifice. He likes it when people get what's coming to them, so to speak. This is a section I want to add more thought to later, but a good way to look at it is that Moash is rather typically Alethi.

Fixation

I touched on this in the Trust subheader, but Moash tends to go all in on everything he does.

“I’ve noticed you keep training when Teft lets the other men take breaks. Dedication is good, but don’t work yourself ragged. I want you to be one of the decoys.” (TWoK Ch. 63, Kaladin to Moash)

“Let’s get those armorers and help you take it off,” Kaladin said. “No. You go to Rock’s storming feast. I’m going to the sparring grounds to practice! I won’t take this off until I can move in it naturally.” (WoR Ch. 66)

“I came to this war to get myself a Shardblade,” Moash said. “And I still mean to do it, somehow.” He blushed, then turned away. (TWoK Ch. 46)

He’ll also get fixated just on random things. When they find an emerald broam in the chasms, Moash gets really enamoured by being able to keep that specific sphere. The bridgemen find and keep an amount of spheres equal to the worth of the emerald broam, but Moash practically pouts when Kaladin says they can’t keep it.

“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” Moash asked, staring at the emerald. [...] “We could get all of the spheres,” Moash said eagerly. “Even the—” “No,” Kaladin said firmly. [...] Moash looked crestfallen, but the other bridgemen were eager. (TWoK Ch. 55)

You could even consider his desire to get revenge a fixation, and I think it is, but the trauma of losing his grandparents affected him so much that I think it gets pushed into a slightly different class. I’d say that once he becomes Vyre, Kaladin becomes a fixation for Moash.

Silence

In extreme states of duress, or even just shock, Moash often times will fail to respond verbally to others talking to him. The most extreme example we see of this is in Oathbringer Ch. 45, where he goes fully nonverbal after realizing that lighteyes are still in charge of the human slaves despite the opportunity under the singers to remove them from power and stop obeying them. He responds numbly to everything happening around him, and does not respond to the question Brightlord Paladar asks Moash, even when Paladar shouts at him to speak up. Paladar orders Guff to be beaten for bringing him somebody that “has something wrong with him”, and Moash remains silent.

Old Guff cried out as they seized him. Moash just nodded. Yes. Of course. That was what they would do.

They throw Moash out, and Moash barely hears their words. There are two other minor examples that come to mind to show off this silent response Moash sometimes has. In Ch. 40 of TWoK, Moash freezes when he notices Kaladin come out of the barracks alive, and doesn’t listen when Torfin yells at him, instead ducking out from under the bridge they were practicing with wordlessly. Also in Oathbringer Ch. 45 when Guff asks if Moash was a soldier, Moash just. Wordlessly stands up and stretches to show off his uniform coat? That last one more so shows off the weird way Moash can sometimes respond to things. Guff had to squint in the darkness to see his coat. Why did he do that instead of using his words. Anyway, that brings us to:

Social Skills

Moash isn’t awkward in social situations, and like we’ve already talked about, brings an air of confidence to most things he does. As far as I can tell, he feels comfortable in social situations. He does however, have a certain … extra-ness to him? He’ll just sort of say things sometimes.

“It was the king,” Moash said. “He had my family executed.” It took Kaladin a moment to realize what Moash was talking about. (WoR Ch. 44)

Moash says this completely out of nowhere. I’m not even talking about Moash bringing up his past out of nowhere after a period of silence between Kaladin and Moash, I’m talking about “it was the king” was not connected to anything Moash was talking about in the scene prior. It’s amazing Kaladin figured out what Moash meant by this.

He stepped up to Kaladin, then knelt down on one knee, Plate clinking. He saluted, arm across chest. (WoR Ch. 68)

Did you know that, besides Szeth kneeling for people holding his Oathstone, Moash is the only person in the books to go down on one knee like this to salute a superior? Moash is just Like That I guess.

“They tried to break me. Damnation, they did break me. But then he made me again, a new man.” Moash paused. “I threw it all away.” “Sure, sure,” Guff said. (Oathbringer Ch. 45)

Moash goes to find his old coworker/friend, Guff, and immediately starts waxing poetic to him about his time with Bridge Four in the most vague way possible, not really explaining anything. Moash just ignores Guff calling him weird.

Bridge Four

Moash valued the camaraderie and friendship of Bridge Four, and really attached himself to it.

“It just…” Moash said. “It didn’t feel right to go to sleep until we’d had a chance to… well, do this.” (TWoK Ch. 73, Moash talking about having Bridge Four stew around the fire after being freed)

Moash held up the patch, trying to catch the firelight for a last look, and then couldn’t bring himself to throw it away. [...] Were the others sitting around Rock’s stewpot somewhere? Laughing, joking, betting on how many mugs of ale Lopen could drink? Ribbing Kaladin, trying to get him to crack a smile? Moash could almost hear their voices, and he smiled, imagining that he was there. (Oathbringer Ch. 43)

He seemed to hang out with Bridge Four frequently for fun activities like going to the tavern, and was often a part of group activities. He brings that teasing quality to the one scene we get.

“You weigh about as much as a starved axehound, Lopen,” Moash said skeptically. (WoR Ch. 46)

Moash will often say “We’re Bridge Four” or other such chants of their name, like a thing of pride. It should be noted that this next quote is from after he ran away from Bridge Four and feels awful about it. He still feels attached enough to say this.

Orange blood coated him, steaming in the chill air. He seized his spear again, fingers slick with blood, and pointed it at the three remaining Voidbringers, who regarded him with stunned expressions. “Bridge Four, you bastards,” Moash growled. (Oathbringer Ch. 43)

Parshmen

Moash displays a lot of the casual microaggressions towards singers that many of the characters do - such as early Bridge Four interactions with Rlain in Oathbringer - including Moash referring to them as “shellheads” when speaking with other caravaneers. He doesn’t seem to display any hatred or ill feelings towards singers, but definitely was used to using parshmen in his line of work, as his caravans he worked on used parshmen frequently to pull the wagons when they weren’t using chulls. Moash frequently will just accept things as the way things are, and I imagine he never particularly gave any mind to parshmen or whether his society’s treatment of them was just. Parshmen existed, people used them because they were useful, and Moash would as well. 

Skills

The most skilled were Skar and Moash. In fact, Moash was surprisingly good. Kaladin walked to the side, watching the hawk-faced man. He was focused, eyes intense, jaw set. He moved in attack after attack, the dozen spheres giving him an equal number of shadows. (TWoK Ch. 63)

Moash is a great fighter, and proves it again and again in the books. He kills Leshwi with only a regular spear, and during the Battle of the Tower, is the only one to survive of his group defending a particularly hard section of the bridge. His dedication means he tends to learn things fast, and he has a lot of tenacity once he sets his mind to something.

It hadn’t even been a week yet, but Moash walked in the armor easily. (WoR Ch. 68, Kaladin about Moash walking naturally in Shardplate)

Kaladin normally wouldn’t have started resetting exercises until the second or third day. Yet here, Moash was drinking it in after only two hours. (TWoK Ch. 49)

Manual Labor ♥

Moash straight up loves hard, manual labor. 

The last station was the most interesting to Moash. This was for hard labor. (Oathbringer Ch. 45)

I’ve been trying to keep Vyre out of this section because he’s a different beast, but I can’t not note that he says people not telling him about the marble that needed to be hauled was like “keeping sweets from a child”. Odium is taking his pain at the time, and hauling around marble and working himself all day seems to be one of the few things he genuinely enjoys doing.

In general, Moash seems to be fond of physical exercise and moving around.

“Silversmiths. I never picked up on the trade. Liked to be out walking. Going somewhere.” (WoR Ch. 44)

Moash found himself enjoying these weeks hiking and pulling his sledge. It exhausted his body, quieted his thoughts, and let him fall into a calm rhythm. (Oathbringer Ch. 48)

While he does seem to genuinely enjoy it, Moash also uses working himself hard as a way to avoid any pain or feelings he’s having. When Moash is in distress, he tends to seek it out.

Lighteyes

Moash really hates lighteyes. Obviously, probably.

With a start, Moash realized that the man had pale green eyes. Yet he still raised his hand and volunteered to carry water—something that had once been parshman work. Well, that was a sight that couldn’t help but brighten a man’s day. (Oathbringer Ch. 45)

They’ll need to press the people into this, Moash thought. Maybe they can round up some lighteyes and make them trudge across the rock like beasts of burden. He’d like to see that. (Oathbringer Ch. 45)

When he has his own light eyes, Moash is firm in insisting he’s not a lighteyes.

“Everstorm tonight, Brightlord. We were given a half day off, in celebration.” “I’m not a brightlord,” Vyre said, checking the sky. (RoW I-4)

He does seem capable of respecting lighteyes however, if they prove themselves. He talks highly of Graves, and uses the fact that Graves married a darkeyed women to help prove to Kaladin that Graves doesn’t treat people differently based on their eye color. Moash comments in Oathbringer that he used to admire how refined Graves seemed.

Extra Bits

Moash painted his Shardplate blue with red accents, and then later got a custom made uniform that looks like a Bridge Four uniform but it’s black and red. Do with this what you will.

-

He sticks his hands in his pockets to walk around a lot. In general he has laid back mannerisms, such as scratching his chin, shrugging casually, or resting his elbows on his knees.

-

The caravaneer salute is visually close to a rude gesture, and apparently they squabble a lot like a family. Moash probably fit in pretty well, even if he didn’t make good friends. It’s also fun to note that caravaneers have a distinct accent. Does Moash have this accent, or does he not for some reason? Does he suppress it? It’s a fun thing to add into writing.

-

“You did it, Kaladin!” Moash exclaimed. “You found the secret. We need to make this work. Expand it.” (TWoK Ch. 62)

“Your eyes are really changing.” “Yeah,” Moash said. “But I’m not one of them, you hear me? I’m one of us. Bridge Four. I’m our . . . secret weapon.” (WoR Ch. 68)

There is something about these two lines that are connected in my brain. I don’t know what it is, but it’s important. Something about Moash’s use of secret in these scenes reads as so boyish and endearing to me.

-

“Now, there’s a soldier!” the quartermaster said with a laugh. “Still think you look silly?” He gestured for Moash to inspect his reflection in the mirror on the wall. Moash fixed his cuffs and actually blushed. Kaladin had rarely seen the man so out of sorts. “No,” Moash said. “I don’t.” (WoR Ch. 2)

Moash has a praise kink. Sorry but I’m not wrong.

He isn’t a total asshole, actually

This section is because the way Fuck Moashers write Moash pisses me the fuck off. Moash is gruff, he can be a bit of a bitch, but he’s not a monster. Here are some random quotes of Moash being normal and caring about people.

They were joined by Moash; despite the latter’s protests that he didn’t trust Kaladin, he looked almost as concerned as the other two. [...] “You did this for us,” Moash put in. “We’d have died on that field. Perhaps as many as died in the other bridge crews. This way, we’re only going to lose one.” (TWoK Ch. 34)

Moash stepped in. He wore his Shardplate, as always. “Storms, Kal. Were you asleep? I’m sorry!” “No, I was awake.” “In the darkness?” Kaladin shrugged. (WoR Ch. 77)

“Idolir and Treff?” he asked. “We lost them,” Moash said, growing solemn. “We did two bridge runs while you were unconscious. Nobody badly wounded, but two dead. We…we didn’t know how to help them.” (TWoK Ch. 40)

He barely had time to take a fresh breath of air as the bridgemen reached him, calling out with joy, nearly tackling him in their excitement. “You fool!” Moash said. “You storming fool! What was that? What were you thinking?” (TWoK Ch. 62)

“Head back and get some sleep,” Kaladin said. “You too, Bisig. I saw you on shift this morning.” “And you?” Moash asked Kaladin. [...] Moash raised an eyebrow. “You’ve got to be at least as tired as I am, Kal.” [...] “Then you’ll get some sleep?” Moash asked. (WoR Ch. 22, Moash encouraging Kaladin to sleep.)

Moash rarely glanced in their direction without finding one of them being beaten, yelled at, or abused. Moash’s heart wrenched to see and hear this. [...] His sledge soon caught up to the parshman crew. The two sledges walked side by side for a time, and Moash liked to think that keeping pace with his crew could motivate the poor parshmen. (Oathbringer Ch. 48)

Life Experiences and How That Influences Him

A lot of this becomes speculative as opposed to the above section that was just commenting on directly what we see in the text, but hopefully it’s clear enough what is directly from the book and what is me theorizing based on what we know.

Childhood is important, so lets talk about why Moash is fucked up. Moash lost both of his parents at an undisclosed, young age, and his grandparents raised him. His grandparents were 75 when they died, so Moash was raised by people fairly old. This can have all sorts of fun effects on Moash that you can add into your writing if you so choose. Moash might be familiar with certain pain medications he’d pick up for them, or maybe he’s used to speaking at a louder volume. Moash seems to be aware of how fragile they were.

“You doubt that sending a seventy-five-year-old couple to the palace dungeons is a death sentence?” (WoR Ch. 44)

Moash’s grandparents are also second nahn, which puts him at an interesting and also probably confusing spot in his society to navigate - important, nearly as much as the lowest lighteyes, but still not a lighteyes.

Before we go further we need to talk about Moash’s age. This is all speculation, because we don’t know more than that single line I quoted from Kaladin in the Appearance section earlier. “Younger man” could probably mean anything in your 20s, as low as 18. Kaladin is about 21 in WoR, and if Moash is near Kaladin’s age, I’m going to assume they’re within five years of one another. We also know that Roshone shows up in Hearthstone near the end of 1166, so by those parameters, Moash was anywhere between 10 and 18 when his grandparents were killed.

Personally, I think he needs to have been at least fifteen, because not only is Moash going on caravan trips and working at that point, but he also is completely on his own after their death and I just can’t imagine that for anyone younger than fifteen.

That’s extremely young to be dealing with the sudden death (and practical murder by your own government!) of the people that raised you, after already losing your parents at a younger age. It’s no wonder he didn’t process it well. On top of that, it doesn’t seem like he had any other support structure, and likely no one helped him through those feelings after finding them dead when returning home from a caravan trip. As of WoR, it is eight years since Moash’s grandparents passed, and he still seemed tense and angry about it when telling Kaladin what happened to him. He clearly hasn’t done much healing.

This event was huge in shaping who he is, and is important to keep in mind when writing him. Possibly even more important however, is this feeling of being alone and unwanted.

Huddled groups of people regarded him with hostility, even though he was just another refugee. He’d always been met with hostility, no matter where he storming went. A youth like him, too big and obviously too confident for a darkeyes, had been considered a threat. He’d joined the caravans to give himself something productive to do, encouraged by his grandparents. They’d been murdered for their kindly ways, and Moash … he’d spent his life putting up with looks like that. A man on his own, a man you couldn’t control, was dangerous. He was inherently frightening, just because of who he was. And nobody would ever let him in. Except Bridge Four. Well, Bridge Four had been a special case, and he’d failed that test. Graves had been right to tell him to cut the patch off. This was who he really was. The man everyone looked at with distrust, pulling their children tight and nodding for him to move along. (Oathbringer Ch. 45)

Okay so let’s unpack all that. Joining the caravans “to give himself something productive to do” screams troubled childhood to me, and it sounds like Moash has always had a hard time making real friendships outside of Bridge Four. Moash seems to be ostracized even from other darkeyes and a common target for hostility, and even Kaladin targeted Moash, choosing him of all the bridgemen to punch in the stomach and throw over his shoulder. There were likely a million little things Moash found himself in trouble for throughout his life, his fault or not.

He slid his knife from his side sheath—he still wasn’t used to being able to carry one that long. A knife that was too big could get you into trouble as a darkeyes. (Oathbringer Ch. 43)

It makes sense then why Moash is so standoffish, bristly, and distrustful of others. When everyone you meet immediately brings this hostile or defensive energy, you learn to expect it and guard yourself by being defensive first. Of course, then it becomes a vicious cycle. If there is one thing about Moash, it’s that he loves a vicious cycle. This is a fun thing to include in your plots - make that boy a target of abuse! Make him expect the worst from people until proven otherwise, and in turn people expect the worst from him.

Note that Moash lies to himself, and is good at burying his feelings in layers. If this is just who he is, it helps cover the pain of his life, because then it wouldn't have been possible for his life to have played out differently. Moash rationalizing away pain that he can’t handle feeling is something to keep in mind while writing him. As touched on above, Moash lost his support structures, and he never seemed to really learn how to process his emotions well.

Moash doesn't have a particularly high opinion of himself, likely due to all this bullshit.

“I always do that,” Moash whispered. “Why must we always take something precious, Guff, and find ourselves hating it? As if by being pure, it reminds us of just how little we deserve it. I held the spear, and I stabbed myself with it.…” (Oathbringer, Ch. 45)

Until a specific point in Oathbringer (we'll get to it) he views himself as defective compared to others, but it's important to separate how Moash views his skills and how Moash views himself. One of these things he is confident in, and will train hard until he's very skilled, the other is stuck in this belief that its inevitable that he'll fuck things up, and that is simply “the way that he is”. There is a thing that can happen when you find yourself frequently alone, where you simultaneously hold the belief that you’re better than everyone else and also a piece of shit at the same time. Moash doesn't want people to see things bother him, hell, he doesn’t want himself to know he’s bothered by it, and so he battles this with overconfidence, which is also backed up by him being genuinely good at practical skills. 

It's very possible that he was beginning to feel good about himself as he existed for longer in Bridge Four, as he had companionship and people who trusted him and respected his abilities, but after the betrayal it would send all these feelings crushing back down as we can see in his Oathbringer POVs.

Moash looked down at his Shardblade, the wealth of nations, the most valuable possession a man could own. Who am I kidding? he thought. Who did I ever think I was kidding? (Oathbringer Ch. 43, directly before Moash decides to fight Leshwi with a spear instead)

Side note - if he hasn't had very many friendships or people he feels he can be vulnerable with, that helps explain why he doesn't always navigate friendships elegantly and has trouble connecting with others. I also feel the need to note that I have a personal headcanon that Moash is autistic, but that’s not what this document is about so I’m not going to go into it. All the pieces to that are in here though, so you can form your own opinions.

Oathbringer

So Moash has been let down in his life, over and over and over and over again. Everything he tries to do goes wrong, including joining the military, as he gets sent to the bridge crews instead. After the next string of mistakes, Moash finds himself again a slave, but this time under the singers. The world appears to be ending, and Moash is desperately clawing for something to believe in or to relieve the pressure of his pain. Moash thinks he finds it in the fact that under the singers, lighteyes and darkeyes are finally put on the same level, and the lighteyes no longer have power.

Then this too, gets shattered. That’s when we see Moash have a severe crisis, and we get that mentality shift that’s important to inspect if you’re writing Oathbringer Moash.

He wasn’t broken. All of them were broken. Alethi society—lighteyed and dark. Maybe all of humankind. (Oathbringer Ch. 45)

Moash still believes himself a piece of shit, but now everyone else is too. He truly has nothing left in this moment, nothing to believe in. He is isolated, without friends or guidance or help. The world has done nothing for Moash, so he becomes disillusioned. Note that immediately after this, Moash does a classic Moash move of avoiding his feelings and seeking out something that will help numb him - this time, hard labor. My favorite thing when writing Moash is to play around with the various things he uses to avoid feeling his feelings. He is set up to be particularly susceptible to what Odium offers.

They told him to stay away, but Moash barely heard. He picked himself up, dusted himself off, then walked to the third of the work stations—the one seeking hard laborers. (Oathbringer Ch. 45)

Moash often fishes for a reason why things are happening, a justification for why it’s all going wrong. Moash also needs a structure to believe in, and so he flips to giving all his admiration to the singers, who comparatively, have treated him pretty okay thus far. More importantly, the singers aren’t humans, who have done nothing but disappoint him.

And he goes all in. Like he tends to. Boy doesn't do things halfway.

“Stop it!” he snapped, then shoved the other overseer aside. “Don’t you see what you’re doing? You’re becoming like us.” The two overseers stared at him, dumbfounded. “You can’t abuse each other,” Moash said. “You can’t.” (Oathbringer Ch. 48)

Moash needs there to be something good in the world, and he’s latched onto this idea that maybe the singers could be that, and Moash fights to try and keep this world view from shattering too. It’s not really about the singers, it’s about them not being the people who have hurt him over and over.

Hopefully this breakdown of his thought processes is helpful for creating your own disasters for Moash to go through.

Plot You Might’ve Forgotten

Bridge Four doesn’t know why Moash left at the end of WoR. 

Moash had been the closest to Kaladin, but he wasn’t in Bridge Four any longer. Kaladin hadn’t said what Moash had done, only that he had “removed himself from our fellowship.” Kaladin got stiff and unresponsive whenever Moash’s name was mentioned. (OB Ch. 35, Sigzil POV)

I don’t know how Kaladin got away with just not telling anyone, but apparently that’s what happened. Sometime between Oathbringer and RoW people seem to be aware of it, or are at least aware that Moash killed Elhokar in Kholinar. Still unclear if they know about WoR events, though a line from Adolin in the court scene in RoW implies at least he knows about Kaladin’s struggle with deciding to kill Elhokar with Moash or not. 

-

Kaladin betrayed Moash. The timeline goes as such: Moash tells Kaladin about his grandparents, and Kaladin puts it together that Moash was behind the shitty attempt on Elhokar’s life. Moash convinces Kaladin to meet with Graves, and Kaladin is not on board for the regicide. Kaladin meets with Graves, and is still not on board for regicide and tells Moash not to meet with them anymore. Kaladin is making plans to round up Graves and his men, but oops Kaladin gets thrown into prison after Whitespine Uncaged. Now Kaladin IS on board for regicide because he got too sad in prison. Kaladin gets wishy washy, but does continue to give Moash the green light. It’s not until literally the last moment that Kaladin is like “wait! Moash we have to get revenge on Roshone instead actually” and understandably so Moash is like “wtf is wrong with you.” It's important to note that Moash breaks Kaladin’s ribs after that, so he definitely wasn’t an angel or anything.

If you want to headcanon that Moash was going to kill the king anyway whether Kaladin agreed to it or not, that’s up to you, but Moash before now wasn't in the habit of lying to Kaladin and he insisted he wouldn’t. He’s been honest the whole time when Kaladin asks.

Kaladin frowned. “Have you still been meeting with them?” Moash looked away. “Only once. To assure them that you’d come around.” (WoR Ch. 56)

-

Moash got put into the bridge crews for no reason. Remember that thing I said about him continuously being a target of abuse?

“You joined up assuming they’d make you a spearman, didn’t you?” Kaladin asked. Moash hesitated, then nodded. “Some of those who joined with me did become soldiers, but most of us got sent to the bridge crews.” (TWoK Ch. 46)

Interesting to note that he tried to run away.

“This plan of yours had better work, lordling. Last time I ran away, I got a beating. I was told if I tried again, I’d get a slave’s mark instead.” (TWoK Ch. 46)

-

Moash did not kick that kid. It’s very important to me that you know this. He did kick Lift though that one did happen.

Relationships

Just a brief overview of people Moash has interacted with.

Kaladin - All of ThatTM. They’re foils, they’re best friends, they’re rivals, their fates are bound together, whatever.

Elhokar - Also All of ThatTM.

Bridge Four - Rock pats him on the back, Sigzil and Moash were the biggest haters, Moash jokes with Lopen, etc etc.

Graves - Moash respects him, despite being a lighteyes. Then he dies.

Danlan - The only human woman Moash knows? She was working with Graves to kill Elhokar and is in the meeting Moash brings Kaladin to. They never directly spoke.

Rill - Mercenary working with Graves. He worked as a mercenary on some of the caravans Moash worked on, and is apparently the one that initially approached Moash after Moash was freed to connect him with Graves. This implies Moash probably did a lot of loud complaining about Elhokar while he was working the caravans after his grandparents passed.

Guff - The man Moash asks about after spotting caravaneers in Oathbringer. He’s a wheelwright, and used to work with Moash. I’m not sure of their relationship - Moash starts pouring his heart out to him immediately, but it’s unclear how familiar their relationship is since Guff doesn’t seem particularly caring towards Moash. Moash doesn’t try to seek him out again.

Uncle - Moash apparently used to run caravans with his uncle “as a youth”, but appears to not consider him family. My belief is that Moash’s uncle is the one who got him started in working the caravans.

Ana/Da - Moash’s grandparents. Moash describes them as kindly, and they ran their own silversmith shop. They were second nahn. “The only family he ever had”. Unclear if Ana and Da are their real names, or Moash’s name for grandma and grandpa.

Parents - Moash never mentions his parents except the one time - that they died when he was a child. He was likely pretty young when this happened.

Leshwi - Leshwi thinks he’s silly

Khen / Sah / the other singers - Moash catches a whip and punches somebody in the face for them, so that’s pretty cool. Moash teaches them how to fight with spears so they have something of a chance in the Kholinar siege to be promoted afterwards as Leshwi promises, and they seem somewhat reverent of Moash after he becomes Vyre.

Odium - drug dealer and boss combo. Has seen Moash’s gay thoughts for Kaladin. Appears to Moash as a singer, not human.

Jam - Moash rode in Jam’s caravan to travel to the Shattered Plains to join the military. Kaladin also knew a Jam in Hearthstone. Same Jam? I dunno.

Abrobadar - Moash got this guy’s Shardplate from the duel. Just putting this here because I worked hard to puzzle this out based on Plate color and so I’m gonna bring it up as often as possible. Especially because Abrobadar’s name is stupid.

Gavinor - Moash doesn't kick him. Gav wants to kill Moash anyway the little bitch

Vyre

Sorry I’m not going to finish this section right now, come back later.

[loneworldgazer]

i’d really love a jjk x reader (you choose the character) where reader is running late to their wedding because of hair mishap/ traffic/ forgetting something and he starts freaking out because he thinks he’s being stood up (everyone with y/n has their phone on silent) but there’s a fluffy ending!

Wedding Jitters

pairing: gojo x reader x geto

a/n: im so stupid, i read this request wrong and thought the charecters were the one late and NOT Y/N, thank god i read the ask again before finishing it. also this was a very cute ask and megumi's at home training his dogs for fitness, i didnt have time to squeeze him in for the plot, ack!

i did not proof read properly (and whose fault is that)

tags: silly idiots, panic,, kissing details, slight angst to ultra fluff, panic, reader is gender neutral but they wear a veil

The banquet hall hums with slight chaos. Yaga who had his face full of tears, looking straight down to the floor that was conveniently interesting, wearing sunglasses to a wedding ceremony and Panda who was passing tissues to him, Inumaki holding the tissue packet and watching videos in his other hand and the Nitta siblings doing some final touches before more guests arrive.

"There's a lot of people here! Considering the fact that there is three people getting married to each other.."

Itadori mused, staying in the back and munching on a fruit tart he stole from a tray at the table behind him. Nobara was looking at the time and bit at her nails, fingers tapping against her soda pop almost frantically.

"Usually, my form of stress would be you but I can't believe being wedding organizers is even more frustrating!"

Itadori looked almost offended at his friend saying that however he bit back on his words, organizing had been hell compared to anything else for the two of them so he lets it slide by muttering into his fruit tart.

"It's just that I haven't seen Y/n-san since yesterday, shouldn't they be here early for makeup and photos and other stuff?"

Itadori reached for a small pudding, stuffing his face.

"I'm sure they're elsewhere to build the anticipation for Satoru and Suguru-sensei?" Nobara scratches her temple, it might be true or..not but she had bigger things to worry now that she and Itadori were called over to help. She just hope nothing goes wrong today.

In the waiting room, Satoru and Suguru looked calm and collected; it was expected coming from them. They faced many missions, curses and what not, this wedding should be a breeze. They smiled quite brightly, holding their hands together and thumb fighting in the waiting room. So many wedding attendants were putting some final touches on the event and applying some powder on their faces too.

However, Satoru's hand says otherwise.

"Satoru, you're wringing my hand like a wash cloth."

Satoru tries not to squirm when the make up artist patted at his face, it was unsaid but he was sweating like a motherfucker.

"Well, smartass, I can't help it when my sweetie pie hasn't responded to my texts yet!" The white haired man was awfully snippy with his hair down and face all dolled up, the other man can't take it seriously when his lover looked so good to eat. His lover was such a baby and he caresses his back, an attempt to soothe him.

"Hey, it's okay, look they haven't replied to me either from.. this morning.." Now he didn't know if he was comforting Satoru or himself anymore because the messages were not only delivered to you but you have not read them at all. That calmness he had sinking down.

Satoru sunk further into his seat like a princess whose pearls had been taken apart and stuffed ceremoniously into a box. "They didn't duped us, right? I'm insane but that's even crazier!"

Suguru covers his mouth, seeing the attendants look at them with confusion. The more Satoru speaks, he gets more weary that the wedding party might think they're catering to a bunch of nutjobs.

You had a reason, you definitely did. You were with Shoko and the others, surely you wouldn't up and leave them, he trusted you he did. The albino man's panic had made Suguru's heart crack a little. It's bad enough if you're late but the thought of you leaving them had filled his head with unnecessary agony he knew he shouldn't have thought about in the first place. Maybe, this is what wedding jitters were. Yes, he needed to ground himself.

He abruptly stood up, Satoru's arm still wrapped around him.

"I'll go ask Mei Mei, you stay here. Don't give the makeup artist a hard time."

The tiny wedding artist looked between the wailing man and the other who just left, scratching the back of her head.

Oh dear.

------

Mei Mei was checking in on the attendants and party list, making sure everything was in place and up to a standard. With a bit of help from the Nitta siblings, they had spazzed up the venue with personal decorations that fit the tastes of the three lovers she was organizing for. Not only were they good at their jobs, they cut off a bit from the expenses the two men have to pay for. It's a win for them.

Amongst the camera crew she was speaking through, a familiar man had approached almost agitated.

"Mei Mei, have you seen Y/N?"

"Aha~ Isn't it bad to see your spouse before the wedding?" Her lips stretch into a cat like grin but giving him a once over, he looks ruffled up akin to a cat whose stepped on an electric wire. Though that rule may not apply since he was already sitting with one of his spouses in the wedding room and she fully turns to him.

"No, it's just.. they haven't replied to my texts and I got a little worried, have Shoko and the rest arrived?"

To soothe his worries, Mei Mei swiped at her lockscreen and dialed your number. The longer the call goes on with every try she did, it made Suguru paler than his makeup.

She couldn't help but laugh a little, pushing him back to the waiting room with the palm of her hand.

"It'll work out in the end, wedding boy. I can already hear them running in here," The door slowly closes on Suguru to which he wanted to protest but he swallowed up his worry.

"-any second now."

Satoru was behind his man, hugging and hiding in his chest. He was overdramatic but there was a slight tremour in his voice when he kisses Suguru's nape.

"You don't think..?"

"Yeah."

------

If there wasn't the most unluckiest newlywed in the world, you took that title and wrung it around your neck. The others had repetitively asked if you were really sure if you should go last to the wedding venue. You had the idea of surprising them with some touching up to your own outfit and you didn't want them to see it since it was their combined high school work. It was worked into a veil and was hidden under the original veil so if you were to dramatically tossed it up in the air during the toast, your friends would see that phase in your life you kept so close to your heart.

It made you giddy and steadily pushing them out the house.

"Okay then don't unblock the two if we're gone, okay? You promised!"

Another element of surprise to your soon to be grooms is having them blocked the whole day until the wedding. It's a known fact on how much Satoru would spam your phone and it would be the same not without some messages from Suguru too. This was a long awaited, exciting event and you didn't want to spoil the grand celebration with too many eager messages in the groupchat.

Turning back to your mirror, you smiled at what a good job the make up artists did. Applying your favourite perfume, you went to the bathroom for a quick check up and to wipe down yourself a bit.

You were thrilled, you were ready to just jump into this whole wedding and your partners but you restrain yourself.

You carry your phone into the bathroom, trying to hold back from texting anybody who was blocked.

Then entails a small thing that hatches into another then another, starting with your phone falling into the toilet when you slipped a little. A scream wasn't ripped from your throat instead it was probably worse; fishing out your dirty phone that was busted, you felt panic rush to all parts of your body.

Satoru never bothered to install a house telephone even if he had the option too so you couldn't call for anybody and nobody was around to help. Running out the toilet, just the mere thought of your phone being busted made you forget about the taxi that was about to pick you up.

Just how many minutes had passed? Quickly slipping on your shoes, you ran out to find nobody, just the sound of heavy traffic and beeping and it overwhelmed you even more. There were so many things happening all at once. Hell, the exhilaration of the wedding didn't make you think about how busy a regular Tuesday would be. With a taxi nowhere to be found and no one around, you thought hard. What can you right now and what should you do?

Neighbours, Suguru always reminded you and Satoru that they were available if there's anything. Your other companion usually brushes it off and slid an arm around you that if you ever needed help, his big strong self was always here (except when he had the flu.)

Meekly, you knocked on the neighbour's door and was freaking out the more they didn't answer. It's also been a hot minute talking to them and it's just so embarrassing to eve reach out like this. The old neighbour opens, surprised that their neighbour was all dressed up with panic written on their face.

"I'm so sorry for bothering but can I borrow a phone? M-my phone broken and I have nobody around to seek help and it's.. it's-" You realised how your heart was beating so fast when the old lady with her heavy hand patted you, walking away with urgency to get her phone.

She sat you down, consoling you and wiping away at the tears pricking at your eyes.

After calling almost the entire friend group, Nanami finally picked up.

He was dead silent when you explained everything. He was looking out the window at the reception and there was just so much traffic, it would be the same near your home. Unknown to you, Shoko and the girls were also stuck in traffic so it was inevitable but he didn't mention that. It would create even more unnecessary dismay especially in the position that you're in.

"It's okay, we can just postpone the event. It's understandable to everybody in the hall."

"But the guests, they'll starve and it will-"

Nanami firmly reassures you. "Don't worry, there's refreshments and finger foods for the guests. It's all of your families after all, nothing can be done to traffic."

The doors to the front entrance opened to more guests arriving and his eyes narrow.

"Y/n? Y/n, are you there?" He gently calls out but to his horror, the old lady you mentioned had answered him instead.

"Oh god, young man. I'm sorry to say this but.. your friend is already running down the block."

Your shoes that were just pretty deco on your feet was lifted into your hands as you ran. It was stupid, insane even but the venue wasn't that far. You could look like today's idiot in the news and have people all around the city gawk at you and pull out their cameras to a newly wed dashing down the city streets but you didn't care.

There was so much done to impress both Satoru and Suguru's family even if Suguru's parents were on the tender side still being tardy to your own wedding was a fate worse than death.

If you dramatically put it similar to Satoru's philosophy when it comes to showing up early to group sleepovers.

Anyways, the wind rushed into your face and carried your tears and the veil over your head flow akin to a real life drama. Worry plagued your mind, your two sweethearts. They'll surely worry since you were super late. Trust is a big principle in polyamory but you were talking about this wedding, you saw how they tremble in enthusiasm yet jumpy with hidden perturbation.

Crying over your own foolishness can come to later, right now you had your own wedding to catch.

--------

Satoru breathed out a sigh. The time where he would walk down the aisle and you weren't here yet. His other friends weren't here although Mei Mei's attendants had talked in passing about the traffic jam, he just wasn't ready to do his big event without his friends around. It was a bummer for him to be upset about this and that's when the kind hand of Suguru wrapped around his hand and he grasps it.

A soft laugh although sad fell from Suguru's lips.

"You heard em', they're late."

He stare almost heart stricken at the black haired man and leaned into his hand when it held his face. Brows furrowing at the noise around him.

"I just want them here, is it so hard to ask?"

His fist collides with Suguru's shoulder, not in an aggressive way rather he was just angry at life and why it had to spoil his mood on such an important occasion. Suguru holds his fist, kissing it to his knuckles and his palm.

"They're not.. they won't do such a thing, Satoru. They'll surely come."

A wry smile appears on his face, wet eyes looking at the big doors they eventually had to go through.

Before they could turn back to the main hall, the men were taken aback by when a figure forcefully collides into them and sent them rolling onto the floor. They were about to speak up then they felt it, those familiar hands and body wrapped around theirs. The duo looked up to you who had so much tears rolling down your eyes and a hiccup to your sentence.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I made you all panic!"

Your sweet smelling perfume and shaking body drove them up a wall all of a sudden, your cute little face scrunched in worry nearly took them out too. They hugged you back and to Satoru's own surprise, he starts sobbing for real this time even if it looked like he looked constipated. He kisses you all over the face, wiping off your tears with his lips and Suguru wiped them away, tearing up a bit as he dives into your neck for comfort.

"You know how much Satoru panicked over you?" He sardonically starts with a dry chuckle, he was honestly just so grateful that you didn't ditched them. His sentence made the albino pop a vein and a hard fist ground down Suguru's head.

"Oho! Easy for you to say when you were running around like a deer in headlights, smart mouth!" Suguru's hands then shifted from your face to Satoru's ears, pulling hard on them which made the blue eyed man utterly appalled and he too removed his hands from you, pulling hard at Suguru's cheeks.

"You're making it sound like I wasn't the pathetic princess giving the rest of us a hard time!" They were about to tussle each other, cat style until you pulled them in for a kiss. You start with Suguru, fisting his collar and kissing him hard. You slipped your tongue in his mouth and tenderly rubbed his back and squeezing your other lover's hand. As you pulled away from a slightly dazed Suguru, Satoru immediately held your face and wiped away the rest of your tears and kissed you hungrily. The people passing by gasped at how the newly weds were brazenly making out with each other on the floor.

The wedding rule might be nonexistent at this point, marking this as a day to truly remember. It was never quiet or normal with the three of you together even on your wedding day.

Nobara had her jaw wide open, she can't believe she was seeing this just because she was showing Itadori where the restroom was. Itadori watched almost entranced, his curiousity sated.

"Wow, so that's how a threesome happens!"

A quick jab to the back of his head made him stop talking.

[bluebellles]

"you're an angel, i'm a dog; or you're a dog and i'm your man"

a caleb character analysis thinly disguised as post-explosion plot; or a more in depth exploration of grief

pairing: caleb x reader / calebmc

genre: angst, sfw, nostalgia?

cw: canon compliant violence and references to child experimentation, codependency final boss, potentially unhealthy dynamics, you and caleb being freak4freak, explorations of how the lab may have effected you/mc as a child, caleb is a stalker but that's canon too, author is halfway through the first chapter of the fic she's supposed to be working on but got brain rot from caleb's birthday trailer, happy birthday here's some misery

You washed your hair today. 

Only enough to get the soot and ash out. Only because the smell kept taking you back to that place.

Nobody was there to dry it.

It wasn’t as if you had never dried your hair yourself, but you couldn’t seem to raise your hands enough to lift the towel to your head.

It felt like betraying something, almost. Trying to do his job. Doing it yourself after he went off to college, after you entered the academy, felt like picking up the slack. Now it felt like filling a role you needed to stay empty. Like you needed to remind yourself something was missing.

You catch a cold from sleeping on your wet hair. You don’t even notice. You accept your stilted breathing and the ache in your head as a part of your new normal. It will be a while before you wash your hair again.

The odd man with the sunset eyes messages you once. His name keeps flitting in and out of your consciousness. He says something about shells and talking to seagulls. You want to call Caleb and laugh about rich people and their weird hobbies. Tomorrow you will care to remember his name. A week from now you’ll be grateful that he reached out. It will be much longer before you can bring yourself to laugh again. 

You don’t cry. Not just now, but never in your conscious memory. Something is broken, something has always been wrong with you. The only person who knew that and loved you anyways is no longer here to do so. No one will pick up the slack. You won’t offer the job to anyone.

It wasn’t as though you didn’t feel enough to cry. You did. It was just that for most of your life, before you could cry or scream or rage, Caleb would be there. Soothing the pain or distracting you from the fear or getting angry on your behalf. Before you could even react, he always saw you. It was enough, for him to see. Nobody else needed to validate it.

You knew it made Gran nervous, that you never cried. You could see it in the way she watched you sometimes. Nearly clinical aside from the concern crinkling around the edges of her eyes. Like she was waiting for something. Like she was holding her breath. Like she thought you’d eventually explode.

Caleb never looked at you like that. Never looked at you like you were wrong, or dangerous, or other. Never looked at you like you were anything other than real. He looked at you like you belonged somewhere, even if it was just to him.

You saw that concern in Gran’s eyes in the car ride on the way to the hospital after you had broken your wrist on the playground in third grade.

Caleb had been playing basketball with some of the neighborhood kids. Gran had encouraged him, ushering him away with assurances that she’d keep an eye on you. She was always so insistent that the two of you make other friends. 

It didn’t stop his eyes from straying over to you. Didn’t stop him from counting the steps it would take to reach you if he needed to or making sure his Evol could extend far enough. 

Some older kids had been playing on the monkey bars. It looked fun, and more importantly it looked normal. You had never done them by yourself, always had Caleb on standby in case you fell, but you wondered if you could laugh that freely and look like all the other kids on the monkey bars if you did them on your own.

He couldn’t have looked away for more than a few minutes, assigned to chase the ball after it strayed into the creek. It was only for a few minutes that he relied on Gran, believed her promise.

When you fall and land on your wrist with an ugly snap you don’t cry out. You don’t even feel the pain, really, your body remembering how much more it had withstood even if your mind did not. It’s the way the other kids look at you with panic and horror that makes you cry out after you suddenly realize that you probably should.

Caleb only sees the aftermath as you clutch at your wrist with exaggerated pain. Gran is standing up from the bench to rush over, her book abandoned. Caleb gets there faster.

The car ride is silent apart from Caleb’s poorly concealed sniffling, tears pooling in his eyes as he gently cradles your wrist as if it’s precious to him. You watch them track down his face, memorizing the path from the galaxies in his eyes to the collar of his shirt. Something in you settles at the sight. If he is feeling the pain for you then it’s fine. It almost feels like the same thing, if not a little more satisfying. 

You ignore the concern in Gran’s eyes. She has been very kind to you, but she doesn’t need to see your pain. Not the way you need him to.

Caleb yells at Gran for the first and only time in your sight after you’ve finished getting your cast. It’s brief, his voice cracking and his hands shaking before he retreats, but you can see the relief in Gran’s expression when he does. You know she watches him too. Sees the way he never really looks at anyone besides you with real emotion. It’s comforting to her to know that he can, even if it’s with ire. 

Caleb is a good kid. He speaks up for his quieter classmates, makes sure nobody’s bothering the girls in his class on the train back from school. He’s the first to start stacking chairs at the end up the day and he’s always the one helping his teachers carry textbooks between classes.

He does those things because he wants to and he likes helping people, but if he can’t help them he won’t feel sad over it. Would never cry for anyone but you. Maybe in a gentler world, he could afford to care about anyone or anything else, but his world is not gentle so it can only be reserved for you.

Gideon mentioned it to you too, once. How he liked your Caleb but not in the way everyone else liked your Caleb. Everyone else who saw him as radiant, likeable, summer personified. A Golden Retriever trapped inside a reliable man. Instead, he liked him for the way he took over during a disastrous training flight during their second year at the academy.

Gideon had frozen when the controls started flashing, pure fear dousing over him like ice. Beside him, Caleb didn’t even hesitate. His gaze was steel as he took over the flight, stoic and unchanging besides a flippant joke he managed to slip in for his panicking copilot. He’d landed them safely.

It wasn’t something Gideon could fully understand, and part of him was a little unsettled by how selective his empathy could be, but there was no one else in the world he’d rather have next to him on a flight. You were grateful to know somebody else saw him like you did, and a little jealous too.

The point being: you don’t cry. You’re not sure you even remember how to. Not at the funeral. Not when Tara had hugged you close, the smell of her vanilla perfume surrounding you as she told you it was okay to grieve. Not even when Zayne had placed his cold hand on your shoulder and looked at you with an uncharacteristic warmth that you knew he reserved for moments that really mattered. Maybe you had come close, knowing you were supposed to, but you hadn’t cried.

It's not until a month later – a month of going through the motions and sleeping on wet hair and staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars Caleb had helped you stick on your bedroom ceiling – that you get the urge to hear his voice again. 

It isn’t as though you’re worried about forgetting it, it’s just that your whole apartment seems so silent. You tried blasting music, blaring the TV, turning on every appliance in your kitchen at the same time but you could never seem to make enough noise.

So you call his phone.

The first time, you don’t even make it through the first sentence.

“You’ve reached Caleb-,”

You hang up with ringing ears and fingers clenched too tightly around your phone. When you inhale, it feels like ice pouring over your lungs and cooling through your chest. It’s not like hearing a ghost, not yet. What hurts more is how normal it sounds. How easy it is to pretend he’s on the other line, when you know you’ll never actually reach him again. 

You pace around your living room a few times before you work up the nerve to try again. You wouldn’t have tried at all if it wasn’t for how silent things got again. 

“You’ve reached Caleb Xia. If I missed your call, I’m probably flying, sleeping, oooor hangin’ out with more important people.”

You hang up again. This time, because you realize you’ve never heard his voicemail before. You can’t remember a time he’d neglected to answer your call. 

You knew he had a special ringtone for you: the audio from a video of you complaining to him for one of his many arbitrary offenses against you. Stupid Caleb, dummy Caleb. It wasn’t normal, the kind of religious devotion he handled your insults with. It should have concerned you more than it filled your chest with a satisfied kind of warmth.

You had demanded he change it out of fear of sounding like a spoiled brat when you called him in front of his friends, but he had refused, insisting they’d all be jealous instead. You were almost positive he was delusional but either way he always knew when it was you calling, and he always answers. Answered. 

He sounded bright. Warm. The kind of charming that got him a locker full of love letters in high school and a loyal friend group during his years away from you. Nothing like your Caleb.

It had frustrated you more when you were younger. You didn’t make friends that easily when you first came to live with Gran. It always felt like everyone was speaking an entirely different language from you. It was a while before you learned the right things to say, the right time to laugh and when silence felt awkward for everyone around you. 

Caleb never had that problem. He never had to worry about when to laugh at other people’s jokes when he was the one telling them. People always blushed a little around him. When he acknowledged them it felt like basking in warm sunlight. It made people just a little more eager to please him than others, even if they didn’t realize it. 

When it was just the two of you, Caleb never felt like sunshine. He was all-encompassing. Not quite warm, but heavy. Smothering you with the weight of the gravity he manipulated. When it was just the two of you, it felt like there was no one else in the world. So why did he need anyone else?

“It’s good for people to care,” he’d said when he ditched movie night for the third time to go play with the neighborhood kids, “It’s good if they notice.”

“Notice what?” you’d pouted. Wasn’t it enough for you to notice him? When all you ever wanted was for him to keep looking at you?

“If we go missing.” His eyes had gone colder then, the way they sometimes did. Like the conversation was over. It’s the only time you didn’t feel like you were in the same orbit. That was your least favorite Caleb. You loved him all the same.

“You’ve reached Caleb Xia. If I missed your call, I’m probably flying, sleeping, oooor hangin’ out with more important people. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you when I can.”

It wasn’t anything special. Impersonal but warm enough to make the listener feel like they were in on the joke. Sunny, golden Caleb. Not your Caleb. Close enough to hurt anyways. 

The line beeps. You stand there in silence for a solid thirty seconds, nothing but heavy breathing escaping you. Then you feel it. The sensation is unfamiliar, awkward, feels like its being wrenched out of your chest. A pained whimper, followed by a choked wail, and then sobbing that burns through your throat and tears that feel searing against your skin. 

You can’t bring yourself to say anything. Your throat won’t form the words. Instead you sob until the time limit runs out. Then you call again. And again. And again. It will be a while before you stop crying. Longer before the battery on your phone runs out and you have to stop calling. You remind yourself, once again, that it will never be your choice to let go.

Caleb wasn’t sure what to expect, when he recovered and charged up his old phone. It was an impulsive decision, one he had abstained from in all the chaos of surgeries, training, flying through the ranks of the fleet. 

Part of him knew, maybe, that any piece of you more concrete than the single picture of you in his otherwise barren apartment would snap the feeble resolve he was hanging on to like a lifeline. Part of him knew he was Orpheus and that he would always look back. 

He tested himself a lot before he let himself have that connection back. The temptation of being able to contact you. He watched you through cameras until he could make it thirty seconds before he had to stop his chip from short circuiting. He waited until he could go an entire shift without checking up on your doctor, partner, artist friend. That one took longer. He even walked your daily route a few times, hood covering his head and a mask over his face until he convinced himself he wouldn’t reach for your wrist if you happened to cross paths. He still wasn’t sure he’d have managed it.

The temptation to go through your old messages was almost unbearable, but he hadn’t earned the right yet. He’d intended just to test himself once more, but the sight of one unplayed voicemail from you stopped him short. 

It looked wrong, sitting there. He’d never had a voicemail from you. Your number was the only one never set to silent. Halfway through a flight, in the middle of the night, during a class. You were never off limits. 

It didn’t sit right with him to leave it unplayed. It felt like proof of how far away you really were. He listened to the voicemail.

For a while, there is nothing but pained and shaky breathing. That in itself is enough for Caleb to clench his metal fist by his side, to bite down on his tongue just to feel a little bit of the pain he thinks he should in this moment. Half in self-punishment and half to feel closer to you. 

At the sound of your sob, something in him breaks. Like the spark of a livewire, the shattering of a glass wall, the whirring of the chip inside his brain.

When Caleb listens to you cry for the first time since the lab, he is suddenly a child again, slamming his fists and his shoulders into the one-way mirror where he watches you sob as they tear you apart over and over again. He is suddenly heaving with broken fingers and his forehead pressed against the glass. He won’t look away. He won’t let you go through it alone. He will always be by your side.

He won’t hang up the phone. He will ignore the ringing in his ears, the panicked breathing trying to wrench itself from his chest, the grating noise of your broken sobs. He won’t let you go through it alone. He will always be by your side. 

He’ll bite down on his tongue until it bleeds. It will be a while until he tastes the copper in his mouth. He won’t stop playing the voicemail until the phone dies. He reminds himself, once again, that it will never be his choice to let go. 

[dinarosie]

hello! As a Snape fan, what do you think of this comment about his home life? It's a part of a larger discussion about Harry's abuse under the Dursleys, someone said there's a double standard with how characters like Sirius and Snape are treated for their past abuse while Harry's is minimized. This is one of the responses and tbh idk what to feel about it.

"Yeah it's weird because people talk about how canonically Snape had an awful abusive childhood, when the canon scenes we have are his dad shouting at his mums while he cowered in a corner, him being dressed in odd clothes and poorly kept (though this is something he maintains throughout his life) and a scene where he says his dad "doesn't like anything much." And often these same people claim Harry didn't have an abusive childhood even though he was beaten, starved and locked in a cupboard. Make it make sense."

Thank you for bringing this up—it's a really important conversation, and I'm happy to address it.

I’ve honestly never seen Snape fans deny the abuse Harry went through. This is not a competition, Unlike some Marauders fans, we don’t need to steal someone else’s backstory to validate our favorite character We’re not here to “steal” Harry’s suffering. But it’s often Snaters who turn the pain and trauma of both Harry and Snape into some kind of contest, asking: “Well, Harry also had a hard life—so why didn’t he turn out like Snape?” That’s when we’re forced to point out the key differences between them.

Another important point: the books are about Harry. There are seven books written for and about him. Everything we know is tied to Harry. Other characters and events are only narrated in relation to his journey. Even the glimpses we get of Tom Riddle’s childhood are because they’re relevant to Harry. That’s why we get such detailed insight into Harry’s childhood pain and trauma.

J.K. Rowling simply can’t—and frankly doesn’t try to—spend the same amount of time exploring the trauma of another character, like Snape. As deep and layered as Snape is, these books are the story of Harry Potter, not Severus Snape. Unless Rowling decides to write another seven books from Snape’s point of view, from childhood to death, we have to accept that what we get are snapshots.

So the author makes do with small but powerful images to convey the reality of abuse. And they’re enough. We are not meant to think young Severus had a bright, cheerful childhood filled with rainbows and unicorns.

As I said, Rowling doesn’t write paragraphs about how Snape’s basic childhood needs weren’t met—instead, she shows it through his thin appearance, his poorly fitted, mismatched clothing. She doesn’t spend entire chapters describing the poverty he endured, but she makes us feel it through the rundown setting of Spinner’s End and his wearing of his mother’s old clothes.

She doesn’t spend chapters exploring Eileen Prince’s background, her toxic marriage, or the domestic violence she and her son faced, nor can she delve into Eileen’s powerlessness, passivity, or possible depression Instead, we get quiet but heavy moments: a broken woman, a screaming man, and a terrified child crying in the shadows.

Likewise, the author can’t extensively explore the tense, neglectful, and harmful relationship Snape’s father inflicted on him, so she embeds it in dialogue—like when Snape tells Lily that his father “doesn’t like anything” (not magic, not his mother, not young Severus). And she conveys it in his body language, such as when he pulls at the grass—subtle but powerful indicators of severe anxiety, shame, and the desperate need to release nervous energy.

And the most important difference? Harry eventually gets to live a normal life. The memories may still haunt him, but he survives. At thirty-eight, Harry is alive, warm, surrounded by friends and the Weasleys, with a loving wife and children, a job he enjoys, and a fortune passed down from his parents. Severus, at thirty-eight, dies in the Shrieking Shack—in the very place where some of his deepest traumas happened. He dies in pain, after years of anxiety, guilt, spying, and isolation. No family. No friends. No love. No life of his own. No chance to recover. No distance from the memories that damaged him.

And to say “Snape can’t have been abused because he dressed weird as an adult, just like as a kid”? That’s one of the most ridiculous takes I’ve ever seen. He lived in survival mode his whole life. And you’re criticizing his fashion choices?

I’m so sorry he didn’t have a childhood stylist. I’m sorry he grew up so deep in poverty and violence that he never learned to care about appearances. I’m sorry that even in adulthood, while dealing with depression, trauma flashbacks, constant fear, and the stress of espionage, he didn’t have time to stroll through Ralph Lauren and figure out what season suits him.

[littlegeecko]

Headcannons for the father & son duo :> or just lore- whichever one you wanna talk abt more

(007 & c00l)

Aw yes, my parent/kid bond of all time :J Keep the characters coming!! my askbox is open!!!

Extra deets under the cut

7n7

-He used to have a more...demonic appearance during his prime hacker years, both as self-exploration, scare the shit outta people and not be recognized in public, it worked pretty well but it took a toll on his health after a while so he only used that appearance while hacking. Kidd looks a little like him in his 20s...

-Used to date Noli around college years and a bit after, however after he got Noli infected with the VoidStar, the guilt made him break up with Noli, ghost him, and move someplace else after Kidd appeared at his door, fearing an angry Noli might find him, for whatever reason

-He really, REALLY likes to play being a cute, helpless loser man sometimes just to pass for a non-threat, it makes the sentinels grow soft for him, the worst kindof gay you'll find if you ask me. (but it also keeps them from bothering him too)

-He's slightly paranoid the admins got shit against him even if they're all stuck in hell trying to survive together, so he grows suspicious everytime anyone invites him to the hang outs or simply try to interact with him directly. He tends to be a loner... Guest was the first one to break thru the walls he made around him.

-Sometimes Kidd calls him mama, he doesn't mind

-In this AU he used to have a thing* with Mafioso before being forsaken'd, it scared him shitless to see him as a killer, but he's happy Kidd has a familiar face on the other side.

-Jesus is this man volatile. He's often neutral and even shy in his little corner but he's the type to take Chance's flintlock straight from his holster if he feels threatened, and mumble nasty things about the admins under his breath like a weirdo.

-He forcibly taught himself to cook because he truly had to improvise some kid-safe dishes when kidd was a toddler, he eventually took a liking to it though, "cooking its like coding, in a sense" he says. Nowadays he makes delicious food for the survivors when it's his turn to, most of them won't admit it's pretty good (except Guest, who always throws a compliment here and there)

-Insane typing speed, what that hand do? lmao

-Can do crazy shit with his GUI don't ask me about it

C00lkidd:

-He's energetic and with a contagious (scary) smile!! a true extrovert, much to n7's surprise, though he never had many friends...most of his friends were animals he'd find

-He's actually a really sweet kid like any other, but he likes to "prank" people that mistreat him or his dad, like Elliot making a nasty face at him when they went to his pizzeria (he then proceeded to un-anchor the cash register and made it fall on Elliot's foot, he still has the scar to this day) He had many problems with this attitude at school, specially when the pranks turned from simple hahas to actual violent payback to his bullies, like scratching and biting(You know the school system, they blamed him for reacting)

-Loud noises make him anxious, specially sudden ones. He DESPISES Taph and his mines because of this.

-Used to be very short around 6-8 then had a sudden growth spurt at 9. Now she's average!

-They're, surprisingly, VERY resistant to many things like strong illness, falls, disasters and even fire, they just bruise really easy because of their skin condition and the rashes are their worst enemy most of the time. n7 is not sure if the GUI has something to do with this or they're just built like that??

-Kidd LOVES reading about strange animals, mythos and cryptids, the Drakobloxxer being her favorite by a long shot. Delli was a gift from n7 to her at age 6 and that turned their brain into an chest of crazy information about these topics.

-Likes to draw and make crafts, like their bracelet :3 they have a lot of time in their hands since they're kinda lonely

-He loves swords he thinks they're cool but N7 never got him one, Mafioso on the other hand.... got him a (toy) one. Best uncle ever!!!

-He calls Mafioso "Uncle Mario" and isn't aware of the extent in which he and his dad's relationship goes, but he likes him a lot!!! its nice to have adults that dont treat him like a little freak :]

-Doesn't know who Noli is, n7 refused to tell him much about him so imagine this poor kid's face when Noli tried to play-pretend being a dad for him when becoming a killer. Stranger Danger!!!

-he likes Guest and Chance he think they're cool, he doesnt like it when they attack him though :/

-Just like in her original concept, she has a bigger, scarier AND stronger form while playing Killer, she only keeps half the memories when she goes back to regular form

anyway theres alot more but this shit long already lmaooo

[angstywaifu]

Black Dahlia - 57. Questions

Summary: Post execution of Amber, Dahlia has some questions she needs answered. And there's only one person she can trust to give her the answers she needs. But before she can confront the person she really needs to, life decides to throw something else her way. Warnings: Physical abuse where character cannot fight back (punching/hitting). Mentions of blood.

Black Dahlia Masterlist | Masterlist | Links

I should give her more time. She’s been through a lot in the last day. But I have to know. And going to Bodhi or Garrick is going to be no help. I need to hear it from her. Need to hear it from an unbiased opinion before I confront them. I need to get my facts straight in case I've gone down a rabbit hole that I don't need to.

I’d seen both Garrick and Bodhi make a move towards me as they’d descended the dais after formation had been dismissed, but I’d slipped into the crowd before they could get close to me. I know they could tell I thought something was up. Xaden I could understand making it to Violet’s room and being alerted of what was happening to to Sgaeyl’s bond with Tairn. But Garrick and Bodhi also being there didn’t add up. There wouldn’t have been time to grab them. And I know Garrick hadn’t been at his room till at least the early hours of the morning. But I needed more confirmation before I approached them.

I catch up to her just as she’s about to cross into the Academic Wing, tailed by her new bodyguard Liam. “Can we talk?”

She looks at me with narrowed eyes, clearly unsure as to why I’d want to talk to her. For a moment I’m worried she’s going to tell me no and to go away. But she doesn’t. Instead she looks up at me and nods. Which honestly surprises me.

I motion for her to follow me towards the Library, and she quickly obliges. Liam turns to follow, clearly hell bent on going where ever she goes. I hold out an arm, stopping him in his path. “You can wait outside. And don’t you dare try and sneak in.” I warn him. He quickly scans the area, clearly looking for Xaden. When he see’s he’s in the clear he nods and steps back. Seems being his Squad Leader for the last few months still accounted for something.

I follow Violet into the library, quickly closing and locking the door behind us which causes her to turn and look at me with panic.

”I’m not going to hurt you.” I tell her, which doesn’t seem to ease her worries much as she keeps her eyes focused on me.

”What do you want?” She asks as she folds her arms across her chest and looks at me.

”What time were you attacked last night?” I ask her.

She furrows her brow. “It was late. Early hours of the morning I think. Why do you need to know?”

I ignore her question, moving onto my next one. “What were they wearing when they turned up to help you?”

”Um... Flight leathers I think. Why does that matter?” She asks, more demanding than last time.

So they had been out. Xaden and Garrick I could almost pass off as being out with the other third years. But Bodhi… Bodhi I couldn’t. Second years didn’t get called out. And if so, it meant shit had gone royally wrong. But this was now the second time that I knew of that those three had been out together at night. The first one I could potentially pass off as a flight to just get away from here. Or to do some training together. But this one, they’d been out late. Very late. And I couldn’t think of any reason Bodhi would be out that late. Not fully kitted out if Violet was remembering correctly. Which I knew she would be. That girl remembered every little detail, even if she didn’t realise she was. She took in everything.

”Are you going to tell me why you’re asking me this? You could just go ask them. They’re your friends aren’t they?”

“Just curious about something is all. Just wanted to see what you knew was all.” I tell her before turning back towards the door.

”That’s all you’re going to give me?” She barks at my back.

I look at her over my shoulder. “Yes, because you’ve barely given me anything since we were kids. So when you earn the right to get more out of me, you will as I see fit Sorrengail."

I briefly catch her glare before I unlock the door and walk past a waiting Liam who has not moved an inch since we walked off despite the fact he was late to class now. Though I knew that fact would not phase him in the slightest. Where the hell could they have been last night that would have them out that late? Though I couldn’t put it past them to actually just be out on a flight to get away from here. It’s not like any of them were bound by curfew. They were all leadership. And even with that, I knew they wouldn’t give a crap about curfew if they weren’t leadership. So why can’t I shake this damn feeling that there’s something up about last night and that night I’d seen them walking into the courtyard from the flight field?

”Do you know anything?” I ask Proth as I make my way towards my class.

”As I said last time you asked me this, they’re you’re friend and mate. Ask them yourself.” He tells me pointedly.

”That just makes me think you know something.” I point out.

”Your question is more suited for them than for me. I am not getting in the middle of these human matters. You’re more than capable of asking them yourself or figuring it out on your own. You know enough to piece it together if you thought about it.” He tells me with what I swear feels like an eye roll down the bond.

”What is that suppose to mean?”

”It means exactly what I said. Ask them yourself, or sit down and think over what you’ve noticed and the things you’ve questioned all these years. And when you do, we'll talk.”

I go to respond but a figure steps into my path, halting me in my tracks. Professor Lee. Who drags along a cuffed Austin. Followed by Infantry who haul Liz, Kai and Bodhi who are also cuffed. Shit. It’s our turn.

”There you are Aetos. Was wondering where you’d gotten off to.” He says way too happily for someone who is about to drag me off to be tortured.

”Sorry, had to deal with some Squad and Wing issues with some movement of some first years by Riorson.” I say before giving him a tight lipped smile.

Bodhi instantly looks at me. He knows I’m lying. He was probably with Xaden after he couldn’t get to me after formation. But due to our current situation he can’t ask me anything. And now I can’t ask him anything either. Or Garrick. Shit. So much for figuring this out.

”No trouble, we found you eventually. Now, if you don’t mind.” He holds up a pair of cuffs before nodding down towards my hands.

”Don’t mind at all Professor.” I say way too sweetly, causing Kai to mask his laugh as a cough as I hold out my wrists.

Lee locks one of the cuffs on my wrist before stepping behind me and pulling my other arm behind my back and securing it. He tugs on the chain, clearly satisfied I’m not getting out of them. Not like I had a choice in what was about to happen.

It can be found in the room down the third corridor. My assigned phrase to keep secret for the next few days or till we escaped. Easier said than done. But something about this didn’t sit right with me. Something felt off. Like this was going to be more than just training to see how much it took us to break. Maybe it was just the cold feeling of death that had washed over me as they lead us down here, stripping us of our weapons and belongings which now sat spread across the large table taking up the centre of the room.

”Welcome to your interrogation training. You’ve all been given your classified information to protect.” Lee tells us as he guides us into one of the two chambers. Inside the chamber is a table with six chairs situated around it, along with five beds that have mattresses missing along the wall. “Please take a seat.”

All of us cautiously take a seat at the table the best we can with our hands still cuffed behind our backs, Bodhi taking the seat directly across from me. I’d felt his eyes on me the entire way down here, even now he doesn’t take them off me as if he’s trying to read what’s going on in my mind. But whatever they’d been up to last night is the least of my worries.

”For now we are still in a classroom setting. You are not being graded as of yet, and you can ask questions before we change over to the actual scenario.” Lee informs us as he stands behind the only empty chair at the end of the table as one of the Infantry personnel still with us stars uncuffing us. “This scenario is to teach you how to survive capture. How to make sure you can survive what ever is thrown at you. The next couple of days are instructional only, and for your education. But how you respond and react is being assessed.”

”So you’re testing us to see how we’d go when we get to the real thing?” Liz asks as she rubs her now free wrists.

Lee nods. “Yes. And by no means will this be fun. We might be assessing to see how you react, but make no mistake. We will not be going easy on you. This is going to push and test you. So use this time to prepare yourselves as best you can.”

As my wrists are uncuffed, the door opens, a rider walking in with some food and drink. Probably some of the last food and drink we will get before this is over depending how long we’re in here for. Usually it’s only two days, maybe three from what we’d been told. But there was no way to tell. They made it different for every squad so we couldn’t be prepared for what was to come. We could be here for only a few hours, or a few days. And that just added to the suspense of it.

”I’d recommend eating and drinking what you can. I can’t promise you’ll get food again before you’re out.” Lee tells us before turning to leave. “Oh, and you all need to share a secret with each other. Something no one else knows. When I come back the scenario will begin. Just remember, every rider has sat here and made it through this. You’re a strong squad.”

And with that we’re left alone with the pitcher of water and bread. Not the most appetising last meal. But it was probably in case we couldn’t handle what they did to us and it ended coming back up. Bland food was better for that. We all reach forward taking a piece of bread and a glass of water. All of us sniffing it to see if it’s been laced with something. Once we’re all satisfied it is just bread and water we sit back and look around the room.

”So who wants to go first?” Liz asks after a few moments of silence.

I turn my attention to Bodhi. He already knows what I’m about to say. But if I can use this situation to get something out of him. I will. ”My father blames me for my mothers death.”

Bodhi’s winces at my words. He knows that’s not something I’d normally say. He knows I’m trying to make him feel bad by freely giving out a secret I'd only told him and Garrick. And do I feel bad for doing it? Yeah, I do. But I know he’s keeping something from me now. Can I blame him? No. But does it hurt just a little bit? Yeah…. it does.

”Why?” Austin asks, the first to break the silence after I reveal my secret.

”I can’t say why. But he’s always blamed me for it. Never forgiven me for it.” I tell her as I look away from Bodhi.

She gives me a nod and a small smile. Lee never said we had to go into detail. And the confession is still something Austin, Kai and Liz didn’t know. And something they didn't know either. I just hope none of them broke and revealed it. If word got back to my father, I’d have some explaining to do.

”I’ve been keeping something from someone close to me. I want to tell them so badly. But I can’t. I know it’s not a proper secret, but it’s all I can say.” Bodhi says suddenly as he cuts off Kai who had opened his mouth to say something.

I look over at him, see him looking at me still. He offers me a soft smile. And I know the confession is meant for me. His words make me nervous. Whatever is going on, he wants to tell me. Wants to bring me in on whatever is going on. But can’t. And I feel like that reason is Xaden. It has to be. But what does Xaden have to do with me questioning things? What had Proth meant by that? There was plenty things I’d questioned over the years. Was it everything I’d questioned? Or just one of them? I’d have to talk to Bodhi after this. But would he even tell me? Yes he’d confessed he knew something. But it didn’t mean he was going to tell me. And Garrick… would he tell me? Whatever it is had to be big. I don’t even realise the others had revealed their secrets, completely lost in my thoughts till the door swings open again.

Lee guides us to the other chamber, this one far emptier than the other. All that sits in this room is a singular chair in the middle of the room with restraints, and chains hanging on one of the walls. In the dim light I can easily make our dried blood and various other stains on the stone floor and walls. Remnants of what our peers had experienced in this room. Lee leads everyone over one by one, chaining them to the wall. Everyone but me.

”Take a seat Dahlia.” Lee instructs me.

I hear some of the chains move as I turn and assess the chair. Noting the drain that also sits under it that I’d missed before. I can’t help but feel nervous as I take in the chair. I could do this. As I sit down he locks arms into the shackles before doing the same to both my legs. Before he stands he looks up at me and offers me a soft smile. And somehow that makes me more nervous. The point of this wasn’t to show us kindness. But he was. And it unsettled me.

”And now I leave you.” He announces as he stands. “Remember everything I’ve taught you. Whoever walks through those doors till the assessment is over with try to separate you, turn you against each other. Stay strong. You’re probably the strongest squad in your year. I will be outside the entrance. If you manage to escape and make it to me before the scenario is over, you get a patch. Good luck.”

As he leaves that uneasy feeling gets worse and worse. I knew this was coming. We’d had months of lead up and preparation. But somehow my nerves had nothing to do with this scenario. Something wasn’t right. The door slams open revealing two riders. They looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place from where. From living at various outposts and being stationed here, I’d seen hundreds of riders. So I could have seen these two anywhere.

”You have been selected for interrogation.” The male announces as he circles my chair, the female leaning up against the wall as she looks at me. I turn my head to follow him, his eyes completely focused on me just like the females. “You all have some information that we want. So make it easy. Give it up now. Tell us what you know and you’re all free to go. Simple.”

”So what’s it going to be Aetos?” The female sneers as she walks over and crouches in front of me. “Just tell us what you know. Save your squad from all that pain and suffering. One little secret and you all go free.”

”I know a lot of things. Have a lot of secrets. Might need to be more specific.” I tell her with a smirk.

Not even a second later a fist connects with the side of my face, my head snapping to the side as pain bursts through my head. I hear the chains holding my squad mates to the wall rattle as they pull against the chains as if they can come to my aid.

”Being a smart ass is going to do you no favours.” She snarls at me as the male who punched me comes into view. “You know what I want to know. So just tell us.”

I turn to look at her as I blink through the pain. “I think I’m good.”

Another fist, to the other side of the face. And this time I detect the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. Fucking fantastic.

”Leave her alone!” Bodhi growls out. I open my eyes just enough to see him looking at me as he struggles on his chains.

”Oh we found a weak link.” The female drawls as she stands up and walks over to Bodhi.

Instantly I see red. But I can’t give in. This isn’t real. It’s just a scenario.

”Stay strong little flower. Do not break.” Proth tells me calmly.

As if knowing what Proth said the male hits me again, this time higher on my face, my vision blurring from the hit. Fuck.

”I won’t tell you anything either.” Bodhi snaps at them.

”Not even about your charming cousin?” An all too familiar voice drawls, suddenly making me more alert despite the ringing in my ears.

Not him. No. I slowly lift my head, wincing as my head throbs with pain. And now I know why I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong about this scenario as I meet the eyes of my father.

@imtoanonymousforyou @simplyme-fornow @omalmal @lalaluch @wolfbc97 @leptitlu @fullmoon-94 @the-fandom-ness @fan-of-many-bands @awkardnerd @heeseungthel0ml @acourtofsmutandstarlight @fairchild06 @freyagallileaevans @pit-and-the-pen @hannraumari @elliot-rain @thestarseternaal @stupid-and-contagious01 @hyperfixation-train-station @lxnvmvrzx @thebreadisthetruevillian @red0202 @fangirling-galore @craftytrashprincess @taliyahvermillion @xadenswhore @fenixyrie @lagrandeourse @hellodarling1357 @iambored24601  @thegiftofacreativemind @fanfictionjunkie1112 @mysticalfuncollectorus @ohlookitsasinglepoeceofpopcorn @emoravenwolf @imheretobeinvisible @pvrkacciosan @fuckingsimp4azriel @clarewinchester

[luza-wayne]

when they realized they're in love with you.

characters: iwaizumi hajime, ushijima wakatoshi, tsukishima kei

2.1k words

enjoy!

iwaizumi hajime

with his lunch box in his hand, iwaizumi opened the door to the rooftop, where he, oikawa, and you, his childhood best friends, would always eat when lunchtime comes.

but he was trying to resolve something these days, so he hasn’t come there lately and today was the first time in days he'll come to eat here again.

well, the thing is, in his mind it was just nothing but about you. whenever he sees you at lunch with him and oikawa, he can't focus on eating and would just stare at you or just listen to whatever you say.

he thought that maybe it's just him, not in the mood to eat. so, he tried eating in the cafeteria where the aroma of foods filled up the atmosphere, making anyone who can smell it hungry.

he thought it was the case since he was able to eat normally and now he's planning to eat with you guys again, now that his problem has been resolved.

“iwa-chan!” the brunette setter waved in his direction.

“hajime! welcome back, man.” you greeted him, as he took a seat in the middle of you and oikawa. “how was your problem?” 

“it's fine now.” he answered.

“jeez, you didn't have to go to the cafe alone. we could've come with you.” oikawa said, opening his lunch.

“it's a bit crowded there, it's better here for you two. itadakimasu.” iwaizumi clasped his hands together, before digging into his food.

you three started eating and you suddenly remembered something funny that you wanted to tell the two.

“hey, you two, listen here.” the two quickly looked at you, oikawa was looking at you while still stuffing some in his mouth, exactly the opposite of what iwaizumi is doing.

he's all ears, looking intently at you, not wanting to let even a word that came out of your lips pass by him without noticing.

oikawa's eyes averted to the ace and smirked.

“so, my classmate earlie—” the sound of a phone ringing stole all of your attention, you noticed that it's your ringtone and that your mother is calling you. “huh? did something happen? i'll be back.” you excused yourself.

iwaizumi just nodded and followed you with his eyes as you walked farther from them. that was his action until he heard oikawa trying to suppress his laugh.

he quickly glared at him.

“the hell is wrong with you?” he growled at him, only to make oikawa fail to hold back the laughter and rolled on the floor.

“no, it's just. i thought that if iwa-chan comes back here, you'll be able to trace why you always can't eat but it turns out i was wrong!” he explained and dissolved into laughter. iwaizumi furrowed his brows thinking what oikawa meant.

oikawa took a deep breath trying to catch his airflow. when he's finally breathing fine, he placed a hand on iwaizumi's shoulder.

“iwa-chan, it's love. you like our friend.” oikawa said, his face was serious yet it was obvious that he was holding back his laughter. 

iwaizumi was silent for a while before he grabbed the setter's hand and squeezed it hard while staring into the air. 

everything started to make sense for him. the way you always got his full attention, the way he couldn’t stop thinking about you, and everything else.

‘shit.’ 

‘why didn't i notice? how come i didn't notice?! wait— does (y/n) know it too?’ 

iwaizumi was panicking in his mind, while oikawa screamed on top of his lungs, for the freedom of his crushed hand.

“hajime! you're bullying tooru again!” you pointed out, your arms crossed on your chest.

“(y/n)...” oikawa said and showed his puppy eyes.

“s-sorry.” iwaizumi quickly apologized and let go of oikawa.

“at least let me take a video of it.” you said and seated.

“excuse me? where'd you get that audacity from?”

“picked it up from a junior, named kunimi akira.” you bragged and noticed iwaizumi staring blankly at you. “is there something in my face?” 

he shook his head no and faced the other way.

‘she doesn't seem to notice, but now i'm feeling giddy every time i look at her. shit.’

ushijima wakatoshi

while reading his manga that he just bought and eating some chips, tendou heard a knock on his dorm room's door. he walked to the door energetically, just like how he always is.

“yes, yes~ i'm coming~ i'm coming~” he speaks to the person waiting outside. he opened it with a wide smile on his face.

“wakatoshi-kun! what's wrong?” his eyes widened, surprised by the sudden visit of the great ushijima wakatoshi to his room.

“tendou, i have a problem.” he started with a straight face.

tendou offered him to come in and take a seat on the extra chair in the room.

“what's the problem, wakatoshi-kun?” tendou asked worriedly.

“i think i'm sick.” he flat out said and placed a hand on his left chest.

“you're sick? you? of all people?” 

now tendou is even more surprised, ushijima who makes sure he's always in top condition is saying he's sick, then what about him who just checks his body and condition when needed or if his lazy soul went to get something in the underworld and his responsible party took over his body.

“my heart it's always beating fast whenever (y/n) is close or when she's talking to me, or even just standing there and doing nothing,” ushijima explained as if the world's crisis was in his hands.

tendou's shoulder deflated drastically. ‘that was it? i thought he really had an incurable disease.’

“no, wakatoshi-kun. you're ju—”

“do you think (y/n) is cursed?” he looked up at tendou with a rare terror in his eyes.

“what?” tendou blinked repeatedly.

“i overheard in the children in the park that if you look at someone and your heart beats fast that person is dying.” he explained, leaving tendou's mouth hanging open.

‘what's that? i never heard of something like that. what kind of things do kids these days talk about?’

he wanted to say that it's not true, but his playful side is overtaking his mind, and sadly he surrendered to it.

“why don't you tell that to (y/n) herself? if it’s that serious, then i think she has the right to know about it, at least.” he suggested.

right now, you just stepped into the gym and ushijima immediately walked to you with tendou watching from the sidelines.

“(y/n), i think you're going to leave the earth soon.” he said not even pausing. 

your eyes expanded, so as the other players close to you two.

“what kind of curse is that, ushijima?” you asked him and laughed awkwardly.

“i heard it from the children in the park.” he said looking you straight in the eyes.

you somehow breathe a relieved sigh. so it's just some kids' rumors.

“what did they say, ushijima?”

“they said that if you look at someone and your heart starts to beat fast then that person is dying.” he repeated what he heard.

“if that's true, then i guess my teacher would rest in peace too because i always get scared when i meet her eyes during recitations.” you said laughing. “wait— your heart beats fast when you look at me?” 

“yes, every time i look at you or close to me, also right now that i'm talking to you.” ushijima pointed out everything.

you heard gasps and 'wows' from the team after he said that, so the third years decided to step up, along with the perpetrator who plotted this.

“wakatoshi, that's not like that at all,” semi said, feeling second-hand embarrassment for their captain.

“what do you mean?” he asked.

“your heart beats fast, not because (y/n) is about to die, so stop killing her out of nowhere.” reon clarified.

“then, what is it?” the big man tilted his head in confusion.

“it's love!” both tendou and yamagata shout.

“love?” the four nodded their heads. “does that mean i am entranced by (y/n)?” and the four nodded again.

“what should i do?” ushijima looked at his friends.

“ask her out!” yamagata jumped, raising his hand. “give her chocolates first!” tendou added. “yeah, but what chocolate?” semi thought for a while. “let's just ask her,” reon suggested and they looked at you.

you gave them a half-hearted smile.

“oh. i thought you guys forgot that i'm still here.” you deadpanned them. “also, anything's fine, as long as it's from ushijima.” you answered and ran.

tsukishima kei

despite tsukishima walking confidently through the corridor of the school, his mind was a mess. well, the reason was today he was about to wait for you, just like how he usually did actually. 

but, right now yamaguchi wasn't here, who was supposed to be the reason he was waiting and then acted like he was just forced to be there.

he thought about a lot of scenes and how to respond to your every question, just so it wouldn’t come out that he was there on his own accord and that he was doing it against his will. he wasn’t not sure why he was getting this anxious over it, but he was ready.

but it turned out all his thinking was futile, because as soon as he arrived at your room, he saw oujiyama hideo from the tennis club talking to you. smiling and laughing with him like you’ve known each other for years.

when you looked at your door, you immediately picked up your things and bid farewell to oujiyama.

“my friend's already here. i'm going now.” you said and bowed to him since he's also a senior.

“okay.” he replied and flashed his usual flirty smile. you chuckled lightly at him.

“stop smiling at me like that.” you told him laughing, your eyes were rolling as well.

“haha, sorry sorry. it's a habit of mine.” he answered, making you laugh even more.

“what a nice habit of yours. smiling.” you were about to walk when you felt him ruffling your hair. “argh, stop it. i'm not a child anymore.” you grumble, trying to take his hand off of your head.

he was about to remove his hand, but someone did it first.

“ouch!” oujiyama clamored while caressing his now red hand. “what the hell?!” he turned his head and saw the 190 cm tall volleyball player.

“oh, sorry, there was a fly on the back of your palm.” tsukishima replied, smirking.

you turned around and saw tsukishima fixing the position of his specs using one hand while holding a goddamn fly swatter on the other.

“where the hell did you get that?!” you asked him, completely forgetting what he just did because of finding the most random item on his hand.

“i found it lying on the teacher's desk.” he answered, not sparing a glance to the person he just hit.

“your friend right there sure is violent, (y/n).” oujiyama noted, lightly grinning in annoyance. he tried to keep up his nice boy facade in front of this unknown guy who just swatted his hand.

“oh gosh. are you alright, hideo-niisan?” you alerted yourself when you finally noticed the redness on his skin.

“i'm not just her friend, i'm her boy— what? ‘nii-san?” tsukishima looked at you in shock.

“what? he's my first cousin and he’s older than me. of course, i'll call him that.” you said to him as you searched for the spray for redness in your bag and sprayed it into oujiyama's hand.

tsukishima froze.

‘wait. more importantly… did i just try to say that i'm (y/n)'s boyfriend?’ tsukishima was silent for a moment, before walking back, leaving the fly swatter on the table where he got it and headed to the door.

‘no way! that shorty? really…?’

“oi, wait for me!” you shouted at him and oujiyama just smirked that you immediately noticed. “what?” you asked, turning to him.

“no, it's just, now i know what he was thinking and did that.” he answered.

“that guy? me too.” you said that captured his attention.

“really?” he said a bit surprised.

“yeah. that guy is the reincarnation of cinderella's step-mother, so his villainous alter ego kicked in as soon as he saw that fly swatter.” you deduced shaking your head sideways repeatedly.

“mhm. yeah. i can see you don't understand at all.” he nodded.

“hm?” you hummed, failing to hear what he said.

“no, nothing. you should hurry and catch up to him.” he reminded you, making you widen your eyes.

“ah! see you later, nii-san! tsukishima!” you shouted as you ran towards the door.

hope you enjoyed it! reblogs would be much appreciated!

have a nice day, everyone!

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i hope you enjoyed it!

[frankendykes-monster]

Now let's analyze how a Marvel comic by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee actually played out once it reached publication. The term "collaboration" is thrown out all the time even though all the "collaborating" would have been done after Kirby dropped the pages he wrote and drew were dropped off. The following text is copied (with edits by me) from a Facebook post by Chris Tolworthy, author of The Lost Jack Kirby Stories, a book concerning his analyses on Kirby comics that got put through the wringer at Marvel in the 1960's. (This is besides the point but the fact that these characters are not in the public domain is a major barrier to further investigative work. Like all things Kirby history and critical study, we are still in the baby steps.)

Lee wrote the FF?? He didn't even understand the story, and he didn't care.

With the Fantastic Four movie on the way, this is a good time to remind people that Lee had no idea what was going on. And he made zero effort to understand it. And he made minimal effort to make the book a success. The idea that Lee wrote this, or even cared about it (before it started to make money), is laughable. Here are some clips from issue 11 to demonstrate that fact.

Sue's Age

I haven't read any comics in a while, but I was reminded of this a couple of days ago when a friend asked me, "how old was Susan Storm?" A very good question! So I checked Fantastic Four #11 again, and the whole mess came back to me.

Originally, the question of Sue's age was simple. Kirby drew Reed like a self-portrait in the early issues. And he modelled Susan on his daughter Susan. So Reed was 44, and Susan was 16. Johnny was a couple of years younger.

But Lee wanted Sue to be the love interest, so she had to be aged up, and Reed had to be aged down. So we get the canonical ages in the letters page: in 1962, Reed and Ben are late 30's, Johnny is 16, and Sue is somewhere in her 20's.

Even if we say that Lee got someone else to answer the letters, those ages match the art and the story (and the stories in Strange Tales where Sue acts like Johnny's mother). They raise some questions, but they are easy to fix. The new ages can work.

This brings us to FF 11. And Lee's dialogue:

Problems in FF 11

Johnny was born in 1945. Yet he was cheering on Ben before he was born.

Sue goes from adult to child: look at her size and how she sits in that chair. Whenever Kirby recalls the origin, he always recalls what he planned, not the changed version. Lee apparently did not notice.

Reed says that he had the hots for Sue before he was in college. But if Sue is Johnny's brother, she is unlikely to be more than 10 years older. So, she was born in 1935. And Reed had to leave for college around 1940: so he was lusting after her when she was 5 years old. We can allow a bit of leeway, but it starts to require some serious fan theories to make her as old as possible (my head canon is that she is actually Johnny's mother, but I would not need that theory if not for Lee's lazy cliche dialogue).

Notice how those cliches are squashed into the art - there is no room for them, they are forced in, they add nothing to the plot.

Summary

In short, Lee does not care. He does not think of the characters as people. He is not thinking back to their past, as the story demands. He is just adding cliches ("girl next door", "cheering on the football game", etc.)

And there you have Lee in a nutshell. He does not care. So when people say he wrote the story, or that he added something of value, I have to laugh.

Wait what do you have against Stan Lee. genuinely curious, I don't think ever seen you post about it

Nepotism hire office worker who's stuck as Marvel's only editor as the company (and frankly the entire comic book industry) are experiencing an implosion that almost takes out everyone in the late-1950's. Jack Kirby has nowhere left to turn to so he starts working at Marvel and has to brainstorm an entire new line of books to ensure the company stays afloat. Lee begins crediting himself as the writer across the entire line of books so he can collect the writer's paycheck (the "artists" at Marvel at this time were also the writers, they were submitting complete stories on a freelance basis, Lee would eventually mandate a system where dialogue and captions couldn't be written ahead of time so he could fill them in himself). Marvel blows up in popularity and Lee positions himself at the center of it, much to the ire of Kirby, along with Steve Ditko, Wally Wood, Dick Ayers, the list can go on. When Marvel is sold to Perfect Film and Chemical in 1968 and becomes a publically traded company, Lee is part of the "package deal" wherein whatever current corporate owner of Marvel can use him as the "original creator" figurehead as a means to block royalties for dozens of people who had worked at the company throughout the 1960's, and functionally its a role he kept for the entire rest of his life, and now your average person (along with a specific subset of industry veterans that can range from Roy Thomas to Larry Hama to Bill Mantlo to Jenny Blake Isabella) thinks of him as the original-idea-guy who ~actually~ created the line of characters now regarded as the "Marvel Universe".

[pftones3482]

The Good

All right - I've had time to collect my thoughts on the new season. I'm going to split them into two posts: The Good and the Not So Good/Bad, just because I know some people don't want to focus on the negatives for shows.

If you want to read my "Not So Good/Bad" opinions, you can read this post.

But for the things I loved about this season, in no particular order, click the "Keep Reading!" Under a cut for spoilers, obviously (and featuring some screenshots)

The voice acting was impeccable. Every single person who came back for their role did an amazing job (but we knew that would be the case)

I was so SO happy they kept in their trend of putting things over the end credits - I was really worried they wouldn't continue that because it's not really a thing anymore, since people don't tend to watch end credit scenes on streaming platforms

Literally everything Stacy and Perry related. I expected "Agent T for Teen" would be my favorite episode, but it was so fun and silly and I'm so happy with how it ended up overall. I loved the Stacy lore drop, and I am SO BEYOND PLEASED that they made them friends. I genuinely think I would have hated this season if they hadn't made the Teal Duo besties

I really enjoyed the amount of Buford content?? It felt like he played a more prominent role in this season

Same thing as above but with Linda - I'm glad they didn't just give her the whole "I want to spend time with my family" spiel in the first episode and then ignore it. She's clearly trying to spend more time with her kids.

Finally acknowledging that Carl definitely has another job(s), and letting him lay into Monogram. I do think there's more to be said for that situation, but I'm glad we got something

The animation overall! There were some parts that felt a little off to me, but for the most part I enjoyed that they kept the character designs the same and stuck with the simple charm of the show

The Haberdasher. Full stop, I want him to come back. I love that he's a spoof on the Mad Hatter, his energy was fun

The episode "License to Bust" is now up there in one of the most solid episodes of all time. It hit all the right notes in a satisfying way. (Also also did anyone else notice the instructor smile after Candace told him to buckle up? It took me four tries to get a screen shot it was so fast lol)

(he's smiling I swear, go back and look at his face for the rest of the driving test)

Ferb food critic was COMICAL (and again with the spoofing of Disney characters, there was a lot of that in this season!)

"Apparently his mother didn't teach him........well, a lot of things. WHICH is why we all have a job!" - I laughed for a solid minute after that line

On that note: "And I thought you were crazy for putting tank treads on a Whack-a-Pest!"

The kids all supporting Candace this season was really cute (she literally didn't make the 'sand castle' but they still cheered for her lol)

"He has a hard out at noon" and then Perry going home and smiling contently while Candace gives him a bath, please they're so cute

Continuing the trend of lines I liked, "I forgot Agent W was missing" in regards to the agents getting de-wormed fucking KILLED me (and was a great callback to earlier in the season when Doof was like "Maybe he has worms!" in the vet episode)

Setting Candace up to be a lawyer in the future

Carl and Brittany's beef (I love Brittany I've only had her for 27 seconds but I want to keep her)

Every single scene with Lawrence, actually. Love that silly man

I genuinely really loved "The Aurora Perry-alis." I've seen some conflicting thoughts on it from folks, but I think it was a nice way to reintroduce Montnessa, it let them tell the audience "hey, we didn't forget about Stacy and Perry," and the animation was really pretty. It also felt like it could fit nicely into Season 3 or 4, which was kind of how I was judging the episodes individually.

My Overall Favs:

Agent T for Teen, The Aurora Perry-alis, and License to Bust

And finally, also in no order, some of my favorite screenshots I took (minus the ones with Stacy and Perry together bc I already posted those and Tumblr has it's limits lol)

Anyway, if you want to know my thoughts on anything specific, you're more than welcome to shoot me an ask!

[taybrinaa]

Between Engines and Glances

Logan Maddox x fem!reader

Synopsis: (Y/N) returns to Ironwood after years away to uncover the truth about her missing father. In the town’s old workshop, she reunites with Logan, the man who was once both her father’s friend and rival. Amid engines, silence, and open wounds, they rebuild more than just a car.

Warning: Contains emotional language, themes of family loss, and romantic tension between characters with an age gap. No smut. Drama, nostalgia, and slow-burn romance.

Author’s note: Hey! This is my first one-shot on Tumblr after switching from Wattpad, and I’m really excited. English isn’t my first language, but I try my best. PLEASE send me one-shot requests because I’m very inspired, whether about motorheads or any fandom. Thank you so much, and I hope you like it <3 If you do, please hit the heart.

The smell of old oil and burnt metal hung in the air of the workshop. The place hadn’t changed much since (Y/N) Reyes had last seen it, over five years ago. The same tools hung on the walls, the same dust rested on the shelves, as if time in Ironwood had come to a halt. But she hadn’t. She had changed. At twenty-three, she returned a different woman, hardened by absence, by years away from the town, and by the wound that had never healed: her father's disappearance.

Logan Maddox had his back to the entrance, crouched next to a disassembled engine. The clang of a wrench stopped when he heard footsteps. He turned, and his gray eyes met hers. He had aged, of course, but still had that solid, steady presence that sent a chill down her spine. He had something more now. Maturity. Silence in his gaze. Something built over time... and through loss.

“I thought you’d never come back—at least not for a few more years,” Logan said, wiping his hands with a dirty rag.

“I thought so too,” she replied, folding her arms. “But I’m not here for nostalgia. I need your help.”

Logan set the rag aside and stood up. He was taller than she remembered, stronger, but also more worn.

“What kind of help?”

(Y/N) pulled an old, rusted key—a heavy iron cylinder—out of her bag. Logan frowned when he recognized it.

“That’s the engine from my dad’s Charger. I found it in a junkyard up north. It’s in pieces, but I think there’s something in it. Something that can tell me what happened to him.”

Logan didn’t answer right away. His jaw tightened, as if holding back words he didn’t want to say.

“And what makes you think I want to dig all that up?”

“It’s not about what you want, Logan. It’s about what I need. You were his rival, but you were also his friend. You know things. And you know cars. If anyone can get that engine running, it’s you.”

The silence between them thickened, heavy with the past. Finally, Logan gave a curt nod.

“Bring it in tomorrow. We’ll take a look.”

Weeks passed.

The engine arrived the next day after that conversation, and over the following days—and then weeks—(Y/N) and Logan worked side by side in the shop. At first, everything was tense. Their movements were mechanical, their words short. But over time, that tension shifted into something else—something harder to name.

Logan, though reluctant at first, threw himself into the work with near-obsessive focus. (Y/N) wasn’t far behind. Though she didn’t have his experience, her determination was undeniable. She learned quickly, dirtying her hands, wrenching bolts, covering her face in soot. Logan watched her in silence when he thought she wasn’t looking.

“You work just like your father,” Logan murmured one night, as she struggled to unscrew a housing, jaw clenched.

She glanced at him sideways, a mix of pride and pain in her eyes.

“I wish I had his answers too.”

There were nights they shared cold beer and old music playing in the background. He told her stories of past races, of how the roar of an engine could say more than a thousand words. She listened closely, discovering a man who wasn’t as unreachable as she’d remembered from childhood.

Sometimes they argued. She was impulsive, stubborn, explosive. Logan was quiet, blunt, direct. But in those clashes, in those sparks, something grew. A brush of hands when he passed her a tool. A glance when she fixed something on her own. Silences that said more than any conversation.

One night, while a thunderstorm roared outside, Logan turned on a portable lamp and they both sat on the floor in front of the open engine block. The air smelled of wet earth and metal. She hugged her knees, exhausted.

“Your father…” Logan began, his voice low and rough. “He was impulsive. And proud. Like you.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Is that a compliment or a warning?”

He gave a small, lopsided smile.

“A bit of both.”

She looked down, fingers playing with a bolt.

“I never thought I’d come back here. Let alone end up… with you, in a workshop, chasing ghosts.”

“You’re not the only one who didn’t expect this,” Logan said, and his gaze lingered on her longer than it should have.

The silence between them slowed, heavy. And then, as if fate nudged them, she pulled out the carburetor filter and noticed something strange. A compartment sealed with electrical tape. Logan knelt beside her. Together, they opened it.

Inside was an envelope.

(Y/N) held it in trembling hands. She opened it. Papers: bank accounts, coordinates, names. And a note in her father’s handwriting:

"If something happens to me, Logan knows why."

Her heart stopped.

She stood up abruptly, envelope in hand, eyes blazing with betrayal.

“What does this mean?”

Logan didn’t move. Didn’t look at her at first.

“It means he didn’t want you involved. He thought that if I pushed you away, you’d be safe.”

“You pushed me away on purpose?”

Logan finally looked at her. His eyes held no defense—just sadness. A deep, real sadness.

“I promised him. I said I’d protect you if something happened. But I didn’t know how to do that without making you hate me.”

“So you lied. You made me believe he just… vanished. Abandoned me.”

Logan took a step closer. He didn’t touch her. His voice was barely a whisper.

“I couldn’t save him. But I could try to save you.”

Tears burned behind (Y/N)’s eyes, but they didn’t fall. She pressed her lips together. She wanted to scream, to shove him. But her body wouldn’t move.

“You can’t keep carrying this alone,” she said at last, without looking at him. “Not if I’m going to carry it too.”

Logan watched her for a few seconds. Then he stepped closer, slowly. She lifted her gaze. For the first time in weeks, there was no anger in her eyes. Just pain. And something deeper. Something that had always been there, growing with each touch, each silence.

“(Y/N)…” he murmured, a mix of longing and fear in his voice. “I’m not the kind of guy who—”

“Shut up, Logan.”

And she kissed him.

The kiss was soft at first, like a test. Their lips barely brushed, timid and trembling. But when Logan lifted his hand to her face and held it gently, everything broke. They kissed like the world was ending. Like redemption could be found between their lips. Their bodies drew closer—hesitant at first, then certain. She clutched his shirt; he wrapped his arms around her waist with a need bottled up for years. And time stood still.

There was nothing but them. The workshop. The rain pounding on the roof. And two broken hearts finding each other in the middle of the storm.

Weeks later, when all the pieces had been cleaned and reassembled, the Charger roared back to life. She and Logan stood in silence, listening to the sound of the engine. There was something poetic in it—rebuilding the heart of something that had been broken for so long.

But it wasn’t just the car. It was them.

(Y/N) had followed the clues in the papers and confirmed what she had feared deep down. Her father had died. He had given his life to make a deal with dangerous people, settle debts, and keep her out of harm’s way. His sacrifice had been his way of protecting her. And Logan had covered for him—for the same reason.

That truth didn’t bring peace, but it brought answers. Closure.

One morning, instead of packing her things to leave, (Y/N) showed up early at the workshop. Logan was already there, as usual. She stood in the doorway, the Charger’s keys dangling from her finger.

“I’m staying,” she said bluntly.

Logan looked up, eyebrows slightly raised.

“You sure?”

She nodded.

“There are things I need to fix here. And I don’t just mean cars.”

Logan gave her a small smile, that serene expression he wore when something hurt and felt good at the same time.

“Then welcome home.”

She walked up to him. Kissed him. This time with no storm, no engines roaring. Just the soft warmth of midday light streaming through the window.

Ironwood wasn’t what she had lost. It was what she could still build.

And Logan… Logan was part of that.

don't forget to send me any requests for another character, I'm open!

[crooked-wasteland]

Founded another post that made me "uuuuh" cause, now they are saying Blitz and Stolas were "exploiting one another", and that, quote, "Plain and simple they both took advantage of each others vulnerabilities, but some shit Blitz did was purely to benefit himself while hurting or blatantly disrespecting Stolas as a person".

What are your toughs on this? Are they right? Idk why it doesnt completely convince me.

Perhaps this may be a bit of a journey, but walk with me as we understand the base argument and why it feels like it's a cop out.

When the show Friends can have a more conceptualized conversation about morality, we have issues. In an episode of Friends, Joey and Phoebe get into a bit of a fight where Phoebe insists that selfless actions are something we can partake in while Joey says that nothing is actually selfless at all.

(As an aside, this is such a hilariously well written scene and I hate Friends as a show. But the fact that the writers openly had Phoebe make her mother's suicide all about herself is comedy gold. And her sense of entitlement from strangers for her misfortune juxtaposed with her insisting that altruism is real all because she needs to make herself feel like a good person worthy of importance is great. One of the few times Friends has some actual smart writing.)

The point being, yes. There is no such thing as a purely good deed that isn't also done because we selfishly get something out of it. Offering food to someone who is hungry is only something you would do if you felt you could. If you needed that good as much as that person does, you wouldn't give them anything.

Or in the case of Phoebe, while it is a sacrifice to allow your body to be used for someone else to grow their family, you only do it because it in some way is desirable to you. Because of money or just for the attention and the social boost of other people admiring the "sacrifice" you have taken.

There is no true altruism. People do things for their own benefits. People protesting outside of Planned Parenthood do it because they feel like they will get recognition from their God or religious group. They don't actually care about other people's quality of life.

People who volunteer for nonprofits do it because they find satisfaction for themselves in the cause, or they do it to find a sense of community with like-minded people, or because they want to feel like they are better people than those who do not.

No one does anything they don't want to do. The whole point is to think about why they believe they want to do it. Everyone only does things because they have a genuine belief. The whole point is to try and understand people's actions from their own perspective.

So when we look at Blitz and him stealing the book and taking advantage of Stolas, it's pretty easy to see what could motivate Blitz.

I say COULD because the show itself doesn't really care to give the characters any actual depth or values or needs. So this is just evidence based on the show that could lend itself to deeper characterization if the show was more interested in telling a story.

But Blitz has extremely damaged self-esteem due to his father growing up and also the world building being designed around this hierarchy that Blitz was born into the bottom of. That has resulted in Blitz being born into a position of low social worth as well as his individual self-esteem being shredded by an abusive parent.

On that note, Cash Buckzo is a business owner in his own right with his circus. He works for himself and that is something uncommon in the world building as explicitly states in Harvest Moon. But it is in the field of entertainment. There is some evidence to show that the entertainment industry in Medrano's Hell is structurally identical to Earth, which requires understanding how entertainment has evolved in our society.

Travelling performers are often associated with persecuted minorities like the disabled and racial minorities throughout history. Circus owners have a bit of a reputation throughout history of being subpar human beings profiting off the labor and misfortune of others. From buying and selling literal children with disabilities and uncommon medical conditions to then prostituting out their stars to pocket the money for themselves. Historically speaking, circus owners are purely bottom feeders, and it appears that Cash Buckzo is based on that P. T. Barnum characterization.

So Cash is at the top of his game, while sucking out the life and talent of those he employs. Conversely Blitz is providing real opportunity and upward mobility in a way his father never did. Half of Blitz's whole personality is his business (or at least it was supposed to be) which is tied to his need to prove his father wrong. If he can also be a successful businessman, but more successful than Cash, Blitz believes that would fix his self-worth issues (hypothetically as this is only vaguely hinted at in the show and none of this is actually confirmed in any way. It's 1 part canon and 4 parts headcanon, this is just a generous translation of the mess that is the show to try and make these characters feel less like paper dolls and more like they have a story worth telling).

If it means having sex with someone he doesn't want to, Blitz can convince himself that it actually is something he'd want to do anyway. Because his need to prove himself as valuable is his motivation to tolerate the wealthy creep that is salivating all over him. In effect, yes Blitz would believe he wants to have sex with Stolas, but that is only because the alternative is not having a successful business and proving his father to have been right about him all along.

On another, deeper level, it could also be argued that Blitz loves his employees in a dysfunctional way because he doesn't have friends.

Look, this is kind of why I disagree with people that Ghostfuckers is even a decent episode because it's too contradictory. I'm supposed to believe that Blitz genuinely cares about Millie as a friend and sought her out for hire because he genuinely respects her. But at the same time he hasn't paid her or her husband in over a month, instead blowing their paychecks on owl dolls and horse printed plates because he's sad. The idea that Blitz and Millie are even remotely friends is laughable when you put in perspective how little Blitz respects her and Moxie.

I'm supposed to trust that she would know Blitz enough to be there for him and trust him during his demon possession, but he actively lies to her, never prioritizes her (unless it's to benefit himself), and blatantly disrespects her. It's almost like women in this show only exist to serve as tools to provide the male characters story and character opportunities and the writers' disinterest in them results in the male characters also being disinterested in them and so they also never get to benefit from said writing opportunities and they almost always come out as looking worse for it.

TL;DR: Blitz and Millie's relationship in canon is a joke and no one will ever convince me that these two characters are friends. Millie is just a tool by the writers to be or do whatever they need to try and pretend these characters have depth or humanity. Ghostfuckers may be the best episode of season 2, it is still completely incoherent and nonsensical.

Anyway, if the writers had actually done the whole found family/dysfunctional Boss storyline correctly, Blitz owes it to Moxie and Millie to also keep the book. So sleeping with Stolas is also an obligation for him on top of his narrative need to want the book.

So Blitz is coming at this from the perspective of doing whatever he has to do to get what he wants. That's not so much as taking advantage as much as it is seizing a perceived opportunity.

Meanwhile Stolas has been committed to a loveless and abusive marriage without ever considering leaving it until the opportunity presents itself in the form of an Imp with a much lower social class being apprehended in the act of committing a crime. And even then, instead of seeking to escape his abuse, he instead repeatedly cheats on his wife and subjects his daughter to repeated instances of violent arguments over his infidelity.

He believes he wants Blitz because....

Well, that's sort of the problem, isn't it? Because there is no real reason for Stolas to think he wants Blitz, in fact, the show makes it clear that he simply does want Blitz.

I asked fans a year or so ago why Stolas was in love with Blitz. As in what attracted Stolas to Blitz, and the overall consensus was that he enjoyed Blitz's sense of humor. Except the show outright contradicts that.

In the canon of the show, this is simply love at first sight for Stolas. Something that is not mutually shared, by the way. And Blitz explicitly states that he never once knew that Stolas had any feelings for him.

Unlike Blitz, Stolas has no reasoning other than to have ownership over Blitz. Not because of who Blitz is, but because he simply desires him, and did so since he was a child. As much as the writers think they made Stolas appear to see Blitz as an equal, all they have shown is that Stolas has always seen Blitz as something he can possess. Even as Blitz made it clear that he was not into it.

So while Blitz has reasons to participate in Stolas' game, Stolas as a character has always consistently removed any sense of agency from Blitz, as I pointed out in previous posts.

There is no mutual taking advantage of each other then. Stolas defined the relationship from the start based solely on his own vapid desire to claim Blitz as somehow his. Whereas Blitz allows himself to be used and taken advantage of because he believes it will get him what he wants.

And due to that, there is no reason for Blitz to have respect for Stolas. Stolas doesn't deserve respect as he doesn't give any to Blitz. And while many would say Blitz also doesn't deserve respect because he gives none to Stolas, that is true. But when most people assess that world building and how Blitz is the underdog in the dynamic fighting for his right to be respected in an unfair world, he was born into a role that no one respects. Meanwhile Stolas was born into literal nobility and reverence (as seen by how people treat Stolas in season 1, like him not needing a reservation into Ozzie's while Moxie had to plan a year in advance for his date with Millie).

Frankly speaking, Stolas was born into respect and lost it among his peers through his own mediocrity. And Blitz's lack of respect is based on systemic oppression, not even because of who Stolas is as a person. Blitz doesn't owe Stolas anything as the weaker individual in the dynamic. Blitz is literally punching up when he insults Stolas, which most sane human beings would recognize as not reflecting poorly on Blitz, but on society. All while he asserts agency by warping his own psyche to think this relationship with Stolas is one he actually wants because it fills his wants while distorting Blitz's needs.

Meanwhile Stolas can just say he wants something and can get it, as seen by the fact that the only reason Blitz is even a part of his life is because he said he wanted him and his father literally bought Blitz for Stolas' enjoyment. Stolas is as much if not more of a thief than Blitz by the fact that he steals Blitz's humanity through Stolas' status alone.

By the way, Blitz being terrible to Moxie and Millie does not magically mean he deserves what Stolas does to him. Stolas and his dehumanization of Blitz in no way plays into Blitz's own dysfunction as a person and how he lacks respect for his employees. It doesn't push Blitz to respect his subordinates more, nor do they ever actually work out their issues. Instead Millie is just there to validate the direction the writers are forcing the narrative to go.

TL;Dr: What wrongdoings Blitz commits to M&M will never justify what Stolas does to him.

[stormythalamus]

My take on Mileven vs Byler debate:

Since the new teaser dropped and we’re all back at each other’s throats again, I’ve been thinking about how I want the couples to play out in the next season and thought I’d share my thoughts here weee

Okay here we go:

Just to be clear, I don’t care if you like Mileven or Byler or whatever else. These characters are not real, it's not that deep. Mileven’s and Byler’s can exist in peace and harmony I promise. A fair warning though, this post is definitely more anti-Mileven because it’s not my cup of tea, although I would love to hear Mileven’s thoughts on these points!! I personally have always hated the Mike x Eleven ship, mainly because I thought it was gross how this young girl had no concept of friends or family before being thrusted into a long-term romance at the age of twelve. After being controlled and used by men her entire life. I didn’t like how Eleven asked Mike to be her brother the same day they started dating, I didn’t like how overly obsessed they were with each other in season 3, I really didn’t like having to watch them make out for multiple minutes straight. That being said, I understand why people do enjoy it; they follow the classic Damsel / Savior trope to an extent, with who being what changing depending on the season. However, in reality, their relationship has done nothing but negatively impact them both in the long run. 

Jumping to season 4, their objectively worst season as a couple, we have the internal thoughts of these two characters and what they want for themselves laid out very clearly: 

Mike wants to be needed by someone/feel useful. 

Eleven wants to be normal, and later, grow into herself/her duty. 

Already, these motivations clash. We already saw this in season 3, when Mike gets insanely jealous over Eleven and Max becoming friends. Mike needs to feel needed by someone, and that someone has always been El. That was literally the foundation of their relationship; that Mike saved Eleven from the bad men, therefore becoming a hero in her and his own eyes. However, as Eleven begins to grow away from Mike and into herself as a human being, Mike begins to stress about losing her completely. In my opinion, this is why I believe he said he loves her in season 3, moreso out of fear than out of true love (maybe fear is too strong a word; more like inadequacy on his own part). 

Now, going back to season 4, this insecurity has grown substantially. Mike is now unable to tell Eleven he loves her, and Eleven constantly lies to Mike in order to be good enough for him. However, the most telling part of this season is Mike and Eleven’s relationship in relation to Will. Will does need Mike, and has expressed this time and time again over the course of all the seasons. Eleven, on the other hand, wants to grow away from Mike, and into a person outside of her relationship. I think people tend to overlook how insane El’s story is in fear of infantilizing her, however I think it’s very important to note that El’s life has been:

Raised in a lab until she was 12

Met Mike and Party, knew them for a week, began her relationship with Mike

Didn’t see Mike (or anyone, or anything, other than Hopper) for almost an entire year

Immediately resumes relationship with Mike, barely acknowledging her other friends, or doing anything with Mike other than kissing

Meets Max, gets a taste of what it’s like to be independent, immediately breaks up with Mike lol

Gets thrown into another life or death situation, forcing their relationship back together

Moves away and doesn’t know how to talk to him about how horrible her life is in fear of messing something up

Do you notice a thread here? Eleven has been constantly controlled and influenced significantly by those around her for her entire life. The closest she ever got to true independence was in California, but she was still being tethered by stress about Mike’s view of her and a complete lack of awareness of how school works (which, Joyce, homeschooling really wasn’t an option??)

People get dogged on all the time for saying El isn’t ready for a relationship, and I genuinely cannot understand why, because she clearly is not. She is a strong character with a good heart, but her complete lack of solo personal development makes the dynamic between the two feel odd and imbalanced. This is further emphasized by the insane pedestal Mike places Eleven on, calling her a superhero, something that she is, at least in my eyes, not fond of at all. Eleven hates having to be a savior all the time; she just wants to be normal. One point people like to bring up is how Mike is overly protective of Eleven in season 3 when he believes her to be over exerting herself, blaming Max for treating her like a machine. But… is this not just another form of control?? Let Eleven decide what her limits are! That is not Mike’s call. His overprotectiveness borders on obsession, clearly stemming from his need to be needed. If he isn’t there to help El, who will? Or… if he isn’t there to help El, what use is he? 

Now, back to Will, more specifically his painting for Mike. As we’ve established, Mike needs to feel important. He tells Will about his worries that Eleven won’t need him anymore, as she is growing and becoming even more powerful and important to the world than she has ever been. Will then presents Mike with the painting, saying that “these past few months, she’s been so lost without you. She’s just so different from other people, and when you're different, sometimes you feel like a mistake. But you make her feel like she's not a mistake at all, like she's better for being different. And that’s what gives her the courage to fight on.”

Interestingly, this is exactly what Mike wants to hear! Eleven loves him, she needs him, she feels lost without him. And this whole speech is what motivates Mike to tell Eleven that he loves her. Except… literally none of it is true. Mike is literally telling Eleven he loves her on completely false pretenses. He can finally say I love you to a version of Eleven that Will created. Even better, Will is just talking about himself in this scene! None of what he said even applies to Eleven. Eleven does not need Mike. She has made that clear. She loves Mike, but she does not need him. There is a clear distinction there, one that is very important when discussing Mike’s feelings. And the cherry on top of this nightmare sundae is that Mike and Eleven do not speak for the rest of the season after this confession. We literally end the season with El ignoring Mike and Mike going to talk to Will. Like??? I am so sorry but the fact that Mileven shippers consider this romantic or promising is laughable to me. Mike confessing that he loves Will’s fictional caricature of Eleven is NOT romantic!!1! And I’m pretty sure El knows something was up with that confession, too. I’m excited to see how they deal with the fallout in season 5. 

Okay, now for a slightly unrelated point: let’s compare Mike and Eleven to Lucas and Max. Now I think we can all agree Lucas and Max have a much stronger relationship than Mike and Eleven. If you disagree, I implore you to rewatch the show with your eyes open. From the way they handle disagreements (ex: Lucas confronting Max about ignoring him vs. Mike confronting El in season 4) to the way they are written, to the way that the actors talk about them, Lumax is clearly meant to be a much more serious, stable relationship. While we see them have disagreements, there is no doubt about how strongly Lucas feels for Max. And there never was; that was an intentional writing decision. Something that always stood out to me as noteworthy was the fact that in season 3, Lucas mentions how Max has dumped him multiple times, but that he was able to win her over every single time. These breakups are not shown on screen. Whereas with Mike and El, their breakups are literally all we see. Clearly, the writers want us to focus on how Lucas and Max have stayed a strong couple by honing in on their resilience and care regarding their relationship by mentioning, but not centering, on their teenage breakups. However, the exact opposite is true for Mike and Eleven; we are intentionally being shown their silly teenage drama and breakups, because that is what the writers think is important about their relationship. I’m honestly surprised more people don’t talk about this. And yes, Mike and Eleven do come to resolutions after their fights, but they are never very… strong, or taken seriously. People have talked this point into the ground, but Mike crumpling up two of Eleven’s letters on screen, and even throwing one in the trash, is like… wow. Interesting choice if he’s so in love with her. Especially with the way he reacts to Will’s painting. All this to say, Lumax solos. 

At the end of the day, I don’t really give a shit if Mike ends up with Will or El. I would honestly prefer neither just because the absolute outrage on both sides would be funny. But I do think he’s much more compatible with Will. I will say, I think the Duffer Brothers have dug themselves into quite the deep hole here. I genuinely cannot see a way where everyone will be happy with the outcome of this season. On one hand, Mike and Eleven could resolve their issues, Mike would friendzone Will, and Will’s entire character for the past two seasons will have been dedicated to suffering and uplifting a straight couple at his own detriment. Not a great look. Especially since in season 4, literally all Will did was be sad about his feelings for Mike, while simultaneously trying to help his relationship. Maybe I have too much faith in Netflix, but the fact that the writers decided to make Will gay and in love with Mike makes me believe in Byler being canon more than anything else, solely because there was literally zero reason to include that plot line other than to make Will’s already miserable life even harder. They could’ve very easily introduced a new character in season 2 or 3 as a love interest for Will, while exploring his isolation and self-hatred by having Mike and the rest of the Party help him feel more comfortable in himself. The fact that a large portion of his character is his feelings for Mike is going to make it look very bad if they don’t end up together in the end. 

nOn the other hand, if Mike and Will get together, I imagine the reaction from the GA is going to be… horrific. Not even considering the staggering amount of homophobia, the confusion alone from a casual viewer may be enough to not make them have Byler become a couple. I will say, it would be a lot to have in one season, especially since Will hasn’t even come out as gay yet in the show. I actually had to tell my mom he was gay after finishing season 4; she didn’t even pick up on it. I can’t imagine how confused a casual viewer would be if Mike suddenly broke up with his four seasons long girlfriend to get with her step-brother in the last season. But in that case, why would you let it go on this long??? And who is telling Finn Wolfhard to look at Will Byers like he hung the stars???? And why is there a One Way sign pointing to his closet????? And WHYY are they letting their cast members (ie Noah) hype it up so much if it’s not happening!????? I literally need the next season because I cannot even fathom what the plan is to fix this absolute mess of a love triangle they’ve created. It’s either gonna go down in history as the best queer slowburn ever or the worst queerbaiting case in existence. I bet I’ll enjoy it either way, since Will has been my favorite character for a while and he’s clearly taking center stage this season! Very exciting. 

Congrats if you made it this far, hope this all made sense. It’s like 3am and I just wanted to write about this for some reason lollll. I havent done a rewatch in a minute so hopefully there’s nothing inaccurate in here : )