#and mom says to me ''you just can't keep babying your foot forever'' girl it fucking hurts like hell . i feel my ankle throb-

[buppypuppy]

the way my mom behaves is so fucking strange. girl you tell me to tell you about my problems but every time i tell you about my problems you treat me like i'm insane and overreacting and exaggerating . why the hell do you think i hate talking to you .

[panapanapana]

Memory lane time. I'm really missing my dead relatives today and well, this is where I journal. So here's my favorite memories of each person. Anyone reading, feel free to chime in with favorite memories of your lost loved ones too.

Great Grandma: You told me that since I was more careful with the crayons than my cousins were that I deserved my own special box of nice ones. I still remember them. Sargent Art crayons, hidden carefully behind a framed picture in your living room. I still miss those crayons. I might go buy myself a box.

Grandpa: I loved how you'd spend quality time with me. We'd watch the cheerleading championships or women's figure skating or synchronized swimming and you could tell Grandma it was "Mandy's idea, really!" It was. I was just as Aggressively Lesbian as my daughter is. You'd get a little drunk and the instant we were alone together you'd tell me stories of your life that nobody else usually got to hear. How the metric system is superior but you can't admit it in America. How you would trade your chocolate rations to kids who could buy beer cheaper than you could during the war. You'd teach me to cuss in German and tell me how to make pipe bombs. I wish I'd had the self knowledge and courage to ask you to teach me to fix things. You'd always tell me I didn't need to know because someday I'd find a nice guy and if I could do more in the workshop than he could it would be bad for him. If I could go back I'd beg you to make me a Home Depot lesbian in your image.

Liz: You were so fucking brilliant. It consistently amazed me how you could just decide to learn something, hyperfocus, and be excellent at it. Thanks for our son. You'd really love the person he's become.

Grandma: You were so unintentionally hilarious in so many ways and I loved that about you. You rarely stepped foot in a church except to clean it for pay or to go to baptisms and funerals but it somehow incensed you that I was an atheist. And then one day we were all sitting in my aunt's bar and you were loudly and happily telling everyone that your workplace had gotten a new Nativity set and you'd convinced them to give you the old one. But was it for your own Christmas decorations? Nope! You'd used them as firewood. In fact, the baby Jesus in his manger was currently keeping happy hour nice and warm. You were so proud of your resourcefulness and didn't notice everyone looking at you in horror until I told you, "Grandma, I'm the atheist here and even I think that's sacrilegious."

Hannelore: You were the first of the litter I got to feel moving. You'd dance every time I ate cold leftover macaroni and cheese. And I'll never forget seeing at the last ultrasound before Doomsday how you and your sister were curled up like a little yin yang taking turns kicking each other in the face. When people mention the world changing forever on March 13, 2020 I think of you and the bad news at the anatomy scan before I think of the lockdown and the pandemic. And I think that's beautiful. You're bigger to me than the entire world, baby girl.

Mom: God, there's just too many things. The big, important stuff I always thought I'd miss the most, like you speaking up to say the things that needed to be said even when saying them was not in your best interest, isn't actually the things I find I miss the most. Because you instilled that in me. It's still here. I find that I miss the little things. My daughter asked this morning for bologna in her peanut butter sandwich while she watched Rainbow Brite and I know you'd have gotten a huge kick out of that because she looks and acts just like I did. But I can't just text you anymore. I miss that wherever you were, whenever we talked, it still always felt like home even though I lived over a thousand miles away from you.

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Nine: Sleep Peacefully

(Image not mine)

Rated: PG

~What story should I tell? Will it end happy, will it turn out well? What dreams do I own? Can I call any place my home?

And I rock myself to sleep, and I tell myself "don't get caught too deep" 'Cause I know by now, you're here for me.

And I tell myself "move along" and I tell myself "you were all wrong" But I know by now, wrong was right for me.

I'll sleep peacefully~

The black paved road of the near-empty highway stretched out in front of us, a stark contrast to the piles of glittering snow that the snowplows had pushed off the street. We had been on the road for 9 hours and were now somewhere in Iowa. The area we were now driving through was so much brighter than Copper Harbor ever was. There wasn't so much as a cloud to be seen in the sky. The last few orange rays of light from the setting sun sprinkled across the landscape as it dipped below the horizon, glittering and reflecting off hills blanketed in white. The sight almost hurt my eyes. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Whipping out my phone I snapped as many pictures as I possibly could, though I knew they would never do justice to the spectacular view.

The sun sank lower and lower and eventually vanished beneath the horizon. Then the stars came out. Scattered across the black velvet sky, they were so numerous it seemed impossible. I could see the differences in colors and size, and I could trace the shape of the Milky-Way. There were no trees or streetlamps lining the Iowa highway and it felt as if I was swimming through inky blackness, like I was swimming between the stars. The glittering lights were so bright and so close. It was special sort of magical.

I rested my elbows on my knees and my head between my hands and stared out the windshield at the beautiful black expanse. On my right, Castiel copied my position.

"Jack tells me you like the stars," he said. Upon hearing his name, Jack briefly looked to me and smiled before turning his gaze back to the window. I had been drifting in and out of conversation with various partners throughout the car ride.

"I do, I love them," I kept my voice soft and my answer simple, "I've never seen so many at once before. I don't think I'll ever get used to it." Castiel smiled softly.

"You know, I am several billion years old, and I am still baffled by the magnificence of this universe. Sights like this, they never get old." I turned my head away from the bright lights in the sky to look at the angel beside me.

"Have you been up there?"

He nodded.

"Yes, I have."

"What's it like?"

Castiel sighed in a melancholy sort of way. I could see the reflection of all those stars gleaming in his eyes.

"It's more beautiful than you can imagine."

I nodded and gazed back out at view of the heavens.

"I wish I could live up there."

Castiel chuckled.

"Someday you might. Who knows what will happen?" He said.

"Yeah."

"However," he added, "As for right now, I think you need to get some rest."

"Nah, sleep is for the weak." At that moment I yawned, emphasizing my point. Dean glanced at me in the rear-view mirror.

"We can pull off and stop at a motel overnight if you need some sleep," He offered. I shook my head and tried to blink away my sleepiness.

"Don't stop on my account! I can sleep in the car," I insisted.

"You sure?" Dean asked. I gave him a thumbs up.

"Oh yeah. I actually sleep better in cars, if you can believe it. Something about the noise and the motion puts me to sleep like a baby, I'm all good." For once I told the truth. I really did sleep better in cars.

"Okay, as long as you're comfy, we've got about eight more hours till' we get there." Dean turned down the volume on whatever album we'd been listening to all day. I'd never been a fan of rock music, but some of Dean's songs weren't that bad.

"We'll try to be quiet for you, Marty," Sam said. I yawned again and rubbed my eyes.

"Thanks guys, for everything. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I had a good night's sleep."

"You're welcome, kid. This is what we do. Now shut your eyes." Dean mock commanded. I rolled them instead and turned to Jack.

"Jack?" I said to get his attention.

"Hm?"

"What are your feelings on being used as a pillow?" Jack's face was painted with all shades of confusion.

"I-I don't, um, I-" He tried to answer but I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"I'm just kidding," I explained. "You don't have a choice in the matter!"

I grabbed his arm and tugged it around my shoulders so I could lay my head on his chest. Jack's entire body stiffened, and he looked to Cas with an expression that said 'Help me, she's doing something weird. Tell me what to do'. Castiel merely shrugged and in the front seat Dean snorted. I chuckled and waited for Jack to shift around a bit and get comfortable before I closed my eyes.

"You're a comfy pillow," I remarked.

"Um, thank you?"

I couldn't see his face, but Jack sounded extremely confused. I decided then that I needed something to hold on to. It took me a few moments to feel around for his arm but when I found it, I gripped his hand and held it up.

"This is mine now."

Wrapping his arm around my waist, I tangled our fingers together and smirked when I felt Jack chuckle and wrap his other arm around me in a way that was friendly and natural.

"If this keeps up, I think we're gonna have to have a talk with Jack about a thing or two." I heard Dean whisper to Sam.

"I heard that."

"Shut up, Mcfly. You're supposed to be sleeping." He scolded, teasingly. I kept my eyes closed but stuck out my tongue at him. I smiled when I heard him laugh.

"Goodnight, guys."

"Goodnight." Dean, Sam and Cas chimed together.

"Sweet dreams, Marty," Jack whispered.

With that, I let myself slowly drift into oblivion's velvet embrace.

***

"Is she asleep, yet?" Dean asked in a whisper, peering in the mirror at the sleeping girl.

"Um, I'm not sure." Jack craned his neck in an effort to find out, but he just couldn't tell.

"I'm trying, Mom," Marty mumbled into Jack's chest. That made him grin.

"From that I'd say, she's close."

"I'm not your mom, Marty," Dean sighed.

"Sorry, dad." She murmured. Dean just shrugged.

"Well, that's a little closer I guess," He said, his lips twitching with a tiny smile.

"Say, Jack, when's the last time you slept?" Sam asked, turning in his seat to face Jack who's face scrunched up as he thought about his answer.

"Four days ago, I think." He replied. Now that he thought about it, Jack realized just how tired he was.

"Dude. Sleep. Now." Dean ordered. Jack blinked a few times and yawned.

"No, I can wait." He yawned again.

"Jack..." Cas pressed.

"I can't go to sleep yet," Jack insisted.

"Why not? Marty back there did it just fine," Dean said.

"Gimmie back my socks, Biden," Marty mumbled.

"See? Out like a flickering lightbulb." Dean joked.

"No, you don't get it. I can't go to sleep, she's right here. She'd think I'm weird or something." Jack worried.

"Well, you're not exactly normal, Jack." Cas muttered under his breath.

"Look, she's the one sleeping on you kid." Dean paused, glancing at the others in the car. "That came out wrong. The point is, she clearly doesn't know the meaning of personal space. Just go for it." He finished, refocusing on the road.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked. Dean's eyeroll was nearly audible.

"Go to sleep, Jack. She ain't gonna care."

Jack nodded.

Snow began to fall on the roof of the Impala with a tip, tip, tipping noise as Jack rested his head atop Marty's. Her hair was soft under his cheek and he matched his breathing with the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

"I love that sound," She sighed, in her half-asleep stupor. Jack guessed she was referring to the sound of the falling snow.

"Me too," he whispered, closing his eyes and drifting off to the same place as the girl beside him.

***

"Jack."

...

"Jack!"

...

"You have got to be kidding me... JACK!"

Jack woke with a start. Blinking rapidly, he attempted to make sense of the world around him. Confusion washed over him as he could have sworn, he had fallen asleep in the Impala next to Marty. But he wasn't there anymore. In fact, he wasn't sure where he was.

Everything was white. The walls, the ceiling, the floor. Well, actually this place didn’t really seem to have walls or a ceiling or a floor. It was all just white, stretching off forever. Behind Jack somebody coughed.

"Behind you," They said, sounding rather annoyed.

Jack turned around slowly and cautiously. Standing in front of him now stood Marty. Her tiny hands on her slim hips and her face twisting into a frown that was somehow amused and annoyed at the same time. She raised her eyebrows at him, and her foot tapped rapidly on whatever surface it was that they seemed to be standing on.

"Heya, Jack." Marty smirked.

Jack's eyes shifted nervously left and right. His hand reached up on its own accord to rub at the knot he felt in his chest. He got the distinct impression that something here wasn't right. He planned to figure out what was going on as soon as he could determine where exactly 'here' was.

"Don't worry Jack, it’s just us. Or, I should say, it’s just you," Marty said, clarifying and confusing things for Jack at the same time. Jack shifted his gaze back to the girl in front of him.

"Where are we?" He asked, his brows drawing together. Marty smiled at him pleasantly.

"We're inside your head!" She answered.

"What?" Jack wondered how she could answer his question while giving him so many more at the same time. She giggled a bit at his confused expression. Spreading her arms like wings, she spun in a circle.

"Look around, Jack! It’s so big! You should be proud!" She stopped spinning to grin at him. The line between Jack's eyebrows and his confusion were deepening quickly. Marty tapped her chin and looked upward with a smirk, as if thinking about something. "But we really should both be proud." She mused.

"Marty, what's going on? Are you okay?" Jack took a step towards the girl reaching his hand out. Marty flicked her eyes up and down between him and his outstretched hand, her expression darkened. She held up her hands in a defensive gesture as she took a few sauntering steps back.

"First of all, I'm not Marty," She stated, evenly. Jack's position instantly switched from inviting to aggressive. He bent his knees and widened his stance, shifting his weight onto the balls of his feet, readying himself for a fight.

"Who are you?! Where is she?! What did you do to her?!" He demanded. His eyes pulsed with an orange light as he prepared to use his powers. The person in front of him, who apparently wasn't Marty, put a hand on her chest, gasping with obvious mockery.

"You wound me, Jack! You're not even going to ask who I am? I thought we were better friends than this." She closed her eyes and shook her head, sighing in an obnoxious and sarcastic way. Jack wasn't having any of this thing's games. He clenched his teeth and raised his hand threateningly.

"Where's Marty?" He growled, trying his best to imitate Sam, Dean, or Cas when they were in similar positions. The not-Marty just rolled her eyes, like she was bored.

"Yeah, no. We ain't doing that in here." She frowned, waving her hand simply. Jack scowled and tried to blast her back with his power, but he abruptly realized that he couldn't. Nothing was happening. She had taken his powers away. His eyes snapped open wide and he stared at his hand. Now he was the one taking a few steps back.

"W-what? I-" Jack stuttered. The not-Marty crossed her arms and leaned back on her heels, taking on a much more relaxed position.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot here, Jack. Can we start over?" She tilted her head and smiled pleasantly at him before sitting cross-legged on the ground. Jack nodded at her with a distrusting expression but hesitantly copied her position.

"Thank you, Jack. I'm sorry about the attitude earlier, it's just that, with this form you gave me, her personality and came with it and then there was your expectations and perception to deal with, so I had to battle through that. I'm very sorry, but I think we're all good now."

Jack was struck by just how pretty the pleasant smile on her face was and had to remind himself that it wasn't really Marty.

"What do you mean? Who are you?" He asked, expecting another vague and confusing answer. The girl giggled, her laugh sounded exactly like Marty's bubbling, wind chime laugh.

"I'm you, Jack!" She replied, brightly.

"No, you're not- you can't- how can you be me? I don't understand," Jack shook his head, bewildered. The girl giggled again.

"I'm not you you, of course. I'm your conscience! Or your sub-conscious or whatever, really." Jack didn't know what to say. Not-Marty leaned forward as if to tell him a secret. "Ya remember what I said about us being inside your head?" She reminded him.

"So, this is a dream?" He asked. She nodded.

"You could call it that, yes. So, you don't have to worry about Marty. When you wake up, she'll be right were you left her, safe, sound, and all cuddled up in your arms." She wrapped her arms around herself, jokingly. Jack nodded, sighing with relief, now he could figure out the rest of this weirdness.

"If you're my conscience, why do you look like Marty?" Was his next question. The girl claiming to be his conscience shrugged.

"You were thinking about her when you fell asleep. It's that simple." Jack nodded slowly.

"This is confusing," he stated. The girl just nodded.

"It is. Let's make it a little less confusing, shall we?" She stretched her hand out for him to shake, "I'm not Marty so how bout' you call me Cricket?"

"Why Cricket?"

"Like Jiminy Cricket! From Pinocchio!" She cheered. Jack took her hand and shook it firmly, still not completely sure he trusted all she was saying.

"Hello Cricket, it's nice to meet you?" He said, more as a question than a statement.

"It's nice to meet you too, Jack!" Cricket giggled for a moment before sobering up in a snap, "But we need to have a talk," She said, her voice grave.

"About what?" Asked Jack, carefully. Cricket chuckled at his apprehensive tone.

"Relax kiddo, it's not like I'm mad at you!" She reassured him.

"Then why am I here? What do we need to talk about?" Cricket frowned; her expression dark.

"We need to talk about Marty," She said. Jack narrowed his eyes.

"What about Marty?"

"There's something off about that girl, but I don't know what it is," Cricket answered.

"Why not?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Well, if you don't know, then I don't know, and we don't know!" She he exclaimed.

"Oh."

"But I'm telling you, all five-foot-two of this," Cricket gestured at Marty's body, "Isn't what it seems." Jack frowned.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, Martina is dangerous," Cricket deadpanned.

"No! She's my friend! She's not dangerous!" Jack protested. Cricket raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Really? How much do you actually know about her? You don't even know her full name," She pointed out, her voice harsh. "She's keeping secrets, Jack."

"No."

"Don't make me the villain here, Jack. You're making me the villain, I'm not!"

"Stop! Get out of my head!" Jack shouted.

"Jack, listen to me. I'm you and I'm trying to protect us!" Jack scrambled to his feet, shaking his head.

"I don't believe you!" The girl in front of him stood too.

"If you won't listen to me, then maybe you'll listen to mom." Then Marty was gone. Standing in her place was Kelly Kline.

"Mom?" Jack whispered he couldn't stop himself inching forward. Kelly opened her arms.

"Jack! Please listen to me, you can't trust that girl. I know she's your friend, but you need to look-" Jack cut her off.

"You're not real!" He said, backing away. In an instant, Kelly was gone, and Cricket came back.

"Fine, suit yourself." Cricket's glared was ferocious and her voice was cruel. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

Jack blinked and when he opened his eyes, Cricket was gone.

***

"We should probably wake em' up," Sam whispered as the Impala rounded the turn off on the dirt road that led to the bunker.

"Wait! Cas, do me a favor," Dean said passing his phone to the angel in the back seat, "take a picture of those two." Jack and Marty were still fast asleep. The only thing that had changed in eight hours on the road was that Marty had grabbed a hand full of Jack's shirt. Taking the phone from Dean's hand, Cas snapped three pictures of the sleeping duo.

"Here." He passed the phone back to Dean who took his eyes off the road to observe the pictures.

"Awesome." Dean grinned. "These are going in the black-mail folder."

"In the what?" Sam asked.

"The black-mail folder, Sammy. You don't have one?"

"Uh, no."

"Your loss," Dean shrugged, turning his attention back to driving. The car was quiet for a few minutes.

"So, what's in the black-mail folder?" Sam asked after a bit. Dean smirked at his brother.

"You'll find out," He said, ominously, "Next time I want something, you'll find out."

Sam decided in that moment that he did not want to find out what was in Dean's black mail folder. As the bunker came into view, Castiel reached over and shook the shoulders of the sleeping pair next to him.

"Jack, Marty, we're here," Cas urged, gently. Jack eye's opened and he blinked the tiredness from them, his neck was stiff, so he stretched it out. Marty, however, did not wake nearly as easily.

"Martina." Cas shook her shoulder again.

"Hmm?"

"Wake up."

"Five more minutes." She murmured. Jack chuckled at her antics.

"Marty, wake up. We're home." Marty's big grey eyes fluttered open and she turned her head to look up at Jack.

"Home?" She sighed.

"Yeah, home," Jack said. Marty sat up and yawned, stretching her arms and rubbing her eyes.

"Home sounds pretty good."

~What story should I tell? Will it end happy? Will it turn out well? What dreams do I own? Can I call any place my home?

And I rock myself to sleep And I tell myself "Don't fall to deep" Cause I know by now You're not comin' for me

And I tell myself "Move along" And I tell myself "You were all wrong" But I know by now Wrong was right for me

I'll sleep peacefully~

Lyrics from: Sleep Peacefully by Lilly Kershaw

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 27)

"What Did I Do....."

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

Luna still can't sleep. She gets up, deciding to work on the song that's been rolling around in her head.

🎶Feared life//Feared love//Thought I was fresh//Outta fucks forever//But//I'm trying to start over//With you🎶

Luna finishes the song before grabbing one of her grandmother's larger acoustic guitars and sliding on a pair of sunglasses to cover her ugly cry face. She then records, posts and sends the link to Colson. She misses him and hates that he's not picking up. Her heart hurts as she finally falls asleep.

-------------------------------------------------

Colson's still partying back in LA. Even though Luna keeps calling, he continues to dick her calls. He's so fucked up, he doesn't even know why anymore.

------------------------------------------------

Luna wakes up still feeling exhausted. She tries to call Colson again. It actually rings all the way through this time before hitting voicemail.

She gets up and showered. Throwing on a leopard print cardigan to hide her gunshot wound from her grandmother.

In the kitchen, Opie and Jackson are sitting with her Mom-mom, laughing, joking, catching up. Luna joins them. Her grandmother can tell something's off. Luna tells her she's just tired. Pat knows she's lying but doesn't push her.

"Are you all flying back today?" Pat asks them as Happy joins them.

"Mom-mom, they can't fly, they're felons." Luna tells her.

"Well technically, we can fly. Our PO's just can't know about it." Happy corrects her. Luna rolls her eyes laughing with everyone else.

"Want me to see if Joni will let you borrow the jet?" Luna's Mom-Mom asks her. Luna sighs. She doesn't want to but agrees because it's the safest way to get the guys home. Considering what they did for her, it's the least she can do.

-----------------------------------------------

Colson wakes up, head pounding not knowing where he is.

"Pants are still on. That's a good thing." He thinks.

"Where the fuck am I?" He sits up holding his head.

"My place, Dick." Ashleigh says kicking him hard on the foot. "And you better not wake the fucking baby up." She threatens.

"What am I doing here?" He asks.

"I don't know what you did last night. I got a call from Benji over at Sound around 4A, saying if I didn't come get you, they were calling the police. By time I got there you were beyond wasted, Kells. Some girl all over you." She's not amused.

"Did you see me hook up with her?" He asks, filled with fear.

"No, but you were trying to drag her into my car, like she was coming with." Ashleigh says sternly. "I don't know what's going on with you and Luna, Kells. You wouldn't say, But she's gonna snap when she finds out about last night. And, she called this morning."

"She did!?" Colson grabs his phone. He has 5 missed calls from Luna and 2 texts. He walks outside to sit on the deck and smoke a joint. He opens the texts before calling her. He's slightly terrified. There's one asking him to please call, then another with a link to her YouTube channel. He suddenly remembers she doesn't have an IG and is extremely thankful. He checks his, trying to recollect last night. There's nothing. He thinks about calling Mod but wants to see what she posted first. He opens the link and clicks on the video. It's titled Brooklyn Bitch and it's her playing an acoustic guitar big enough to hide her body. She's naked except for a pair of sunglasses, he's pretty sure. And something on her left shoulder, that he can't make out. She starts off strumming the G chord.

🎶Feared life🎶Feared love🎶Thought I was fresh outta fucks forever🎶Trying to🎶Start over with you🎶

Looking into the camera, she continues singing.

🎶A Machine🎶His Scene Queen🎶Tattoo skins covered in leather🎶When I dream🎶It's of us two🎶

Flipping between G and F now, she continues her voice dripping. He's hitting the joint.

🎶Oh, Bunny, I miss you on my lips🎶It's me, Your little Brooklyn Bitch🎶Hanging out with the neighborhood kids... Shouting out Bang! Bang! Kiss! Kiss!🎶

Strumming into C7 and F, she floats over the melody. Still smoking, he's mesmerized by Luna.

🎶We're in the yard🎶The joints on fire🎶And as the day begins to slip away🎶All that glitters somehow stays🎶I'll write, you'll tour, we'll make it work🎶You're beautiful and I'm insane🎶We're American made🎶

She's back to G, starting the same chord structure over again.

🎶Don't need🎶A Hallmark🎶Just want You as My Lover🎶Twist Norman Rockwell 🎶To fit our punk view🎶You&Me🎶Obscene🎶No one and nothing matters🎶Except all the Bad Things, we do🎶Oh, Bunny, I need you on my lips🎶It's me, Your little Brooklyn Bitch🎶Hanging out with the neighborhood kids... Calling out Bang! Bang! Kiss! Kiss🎶We're in the yard🎶The joints on fire🎶And as the day begins to slip away🎶All that glitters somehow stays🎶I'll write, you'll tour, we'll make it work🎶You're beautiful and I'm insane🎶We're American made🎶

She hums changing the chords to Em F Am

🎶If you weren't mine🎶I'd be jealous of your love🎶If you weren't mine🎶I'd be jealous of your love🎶If you weren't mine🎶I'd be jealous of your love🎶 She smoothly fades out. Looking over her sunglasses and smiling at him before shutting off the camera.

"FUUUUCCK...." What did I do? Colson worries. His heart dropping. He calls Mod immediately.

-------------------------------------------------

Luna's flying back to LA. She doesn't know fucking why. She hasn't talked to Colson since she walked out on him yesterday morning. Her shoulders killing her. She looks around, it seems everyone's knocked. She pops a 30 and sparks a joint. The smell draws Jackson out. He uses it as an excuse to sit beside her as she side eyes him.

"I'm sorry." He says when she finally passes him the joint. "I just thought, when you were ready, you would want me."

She sighs, watching him hit it. "It's the same thing you did to me with Tara..." She starts to explain.

"Is that what THIS is about?" He interrupts her.

"Jesus Fuck, Jax. NO. Can you listen?" She takes the joint from him as punishment, hitting it hard. He's silent. "Like I was trying to say, there's no doubt in my mind that you loved me Jax, or even still do love me. There's also no doubt in my mind that you didn't plan to meet and fall in love with Tara, while I was gone either." She shrugs, wincing, hitting the joint again before handing it back. "It's the same thing with Colson. I didn't plan to meet and fall in love with him either." She looks into his sad eyes. "I'm sorry. Bad timing."

"Yeah." He says, giving her the joint and going back to his seat.

She hits the joint again, feeling the perc kick in. "I fucking hate dudes." She thinks to herself, sliding her sunglasses on.

--------------------------------------------

Colson talks to Mod. "Nah, Dawg!! You were funny as hell last night... Share all the drugs, the drinks, dance with all the bitches but anytime one of 'em tried to push up on you, your big ass hand said 'No, Bitch!' You were palm smashing bitches like the incredible Hulk." Mod laughs loudly.

"So, I didn't hook up with anyone?" Colson asks, confused. "Why wouldn't I speak to Loons?"

"Because you was pissed she was wit her ex, Kid." Mod tells him matter of fact.

"Ah. Good shit..." Colson sighs, relieved but still upset with himself.

They talk a bit more about the wild night before, bits and pieces coming back to Colson.

After he hangs up. He tells Ashleigh he's in the clear. She lectures him about about being close to the limit. He agrees with her for one of the first times ever. Catching an uber home he Snaps Luna. He doesn't even know where she is.

--------------------------------------------

To be continued.....