#and my mom and cats won’t be with me forever

[purrrcrastination]

.

[bueckerslover]

P.S. I still love you

pairing: chris x fem ! reader

-> warnings: cursing, angst. i think that’s it sorry in advance 😔. slightly short

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dear y/n,

it’s been a year already can you believe that? it feels like we met just yesterday at a random party i was invited to and to think i was going to skip it because i had a meeting the next day, i remember how i accidentally bumped into you causing you to spill your drink on yourself god i felt so bad watching you try to dry it off i just kept apologizing and you said it was fine but that still didn’t stop me from feeling bad.

i remember that after that party we became great friends and how inseparable we were, remember that one time when we sat up on your roof drinking sodas (considering we were both underage and hated drinking) watching the sunset that’s the day i realized that i loved you and wanted to be with you forever.

remember that time we went to the park with cat (absolute insane name for a dog by the way) then somehow his leash came off making us chase him around the whole park but before we caught him you tripped causing me to fall on top of you making us laugh uncontrollably for about five minutes, that was one of my favorite moments together (out of so many of course)

do you remember when we tried giving cat a bath? that motherfucker couldn’t stay in the bathtub for more than two seconds especially since he was a very hyper dog, i remember when he first jumped out you tried running after him but accidentally slipped on the bar of soap making you fall into the water, bubbles in your hair drenched in dirty dog water and yet i still thought you were the most beautiful girl i ever saw.

remember on our two year anniversary i took you to france for a week? gosh i was so nervous the day i gave you the tickets since you “never liked me spending money on you” but at the end you absolutely loved the trip especially that special dinner we went to where i gave you the necklace you’ve been wanting for weeks, i’ll never forget the look on your face when you saw the necklace it made me feel like i fulfilled my purpose as your boyfriend.

one of the memories that brings a big smile to my face is when i remember the day nick and matt met you for the first time they were so excited because i would never shut up about you and how great you were so when they finally got to meet the reason for my happiness it was awesome, having you all getting along was amazing i loved how they accepted you with open arms, the thing i hated was how nick would always steal you from me but i forgave him when i found out you two had a lot in common more than you and me i got a little jealous but opposites attract or whatever they say.

i loved when we would go sit in your car watching the sunset or sunrise while talking about our future, i loved the way your nose would scrunch every time you laughed or smiled, i absolutely adored your voice and how your voice sounded like honey in the early morning when you would wake me up.

i loved how much you helped matt when he had any problems or questions about anything and how you never made him feel dumb for it, that’s one of the many things i loved about you how you helped others and never made them fell stupid for the questions they asked.

i loved the way you would talk to little kids, how caring you were for them and it always made me think of how an amazing mother you would’ve been.

you know matt and nick still talk about you, same with my mom and dad they all miss you even trev misses you he always sits or lays down in your spot on my bed, fuck we all miss you y/n especially me, we had a lot of plans together we had so many ideas for our future! i even bought a stupid ring that i was going to give to you on our fifth year anniversary which is tomorrow but sadly not everything goes according to plan.

but i know that you’re no longer in pain and in a better place, you probably won’t read this stupid letter but thank you for giving me the best years of my life and giving me amazing memories that i will cherish for as long as i live.

sincerely,

ta chérie.

P.S. I still love you.

with that the boy folded up the letter placing it in an envelope tears streaming down his face but what he didn’t know was that the love of his life was there watching him write that letter with tears running down her face as she smiled sadly at him, she never got to tell him everything she wanted or the fact that they had a baby on the way.

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i cried a few times while writing this um it’s mostly based off of a movie i saw a few years ago that randomly hit me (movie: P.S. I Love You) also idk why but the songs i was listening to while writing this were depressing so that didn’t help at all but i hope you enjoyed this and pls don’t hate me 😔

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tags: @sturnioloslurps @sturniolos-blog

[linphd]

Taking care of their baby alone | Headcanons

gender neutral

-> It had been around 6 months your baby was born, but it was the first time he had to take care of them alone, you being ready to return to your hero paperwork.

-> (S/N) is son’s name and (D/N) is daughter’s name. Obviously, the students are adults and pros.

-> Denki Kaminari, Katsuki Bakugou, Shoto Todoroki.

Denki Kaminari

Denki ? Alone with a baby ? Of course he was panicking ! He couldn’t even take care of himself ! « You’re old enough to make and have a baby, you’re old enough to take care of one. » you had told him in response to his whines.

And here he was, sitting (S/N) on his lap while staring at him. « It’s so funny how I love you so much and you didn’t even do anything, right ? » he asked the toddler. He snorted at the lack of emotion in the baby’s eyes, and decided to change to some baby channel on TV.

« Here ! Cool music, right ? See ? » he said, turning the kid so he could face the TV. « Little cats ! Mio, Mao, Mio, Mao, lalalalala ! » he started singing. But his son groaned. « Awwwn, you don’t like it ? But it was your dad/mom’s favorite baby show when they were a little baby just like you ! » he explained.

But then he understood why (S/N) groaned. « Oh. You pooped. » He made a disgusted face, but he changed him anyways. After all, he had trained with Kirishima and Sero to be the fastest diaper changer, so he was kind of an expert at changing diapers.

But after that, (S/N) started crying. « Nooooo ! What do you have ? » Denki whined, hugging his son. But then he got an idea. He would sing him a song from his childhood ! … but he wasn’t really inspired right now, so the only thing that came out was :

« It’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake- » and unfortunately, this only made the poor baby cry louder. « Noooo, I’m sorry dadda’s stupid ! » Denki whined again. « I’m a bad dadda ! » he hugged his son closer. « You laugh the most when I’m dumb from my quirk on TV… OH. » He was a genius !

He quickly went to the living room again, looking for an extract where he got dumb on TV. « See ? It’s me ! It’s dadda when he overused his quirk ! » he said, imitating himself with his thumbs up. And just like that, (S/N)’s tears made place to laughters.

Katsuki Bakugou

Katsuki was nothing but confident about taking care of his baby alone. (S/N) was an exact copy of him, after all. And he knew how to take care of himself ! « Too bad you’re feeling down today, you won’t have a perfect day with daddy. » he said, picking him up.

Indeed, (S/N) had been kinda sick during the night and had thrown up a few times. His forehead was still warm today, so Katsuki was being careful. « I’m gonna bake a cake for mommy/daddy, you better not throw up when I do that ! » he said, babywearing him on his stomach and hips.

Katsuki allowed his son to taste some melted chocolate from the recipe, but that was all. He ended up falling asleep while his father baked, and the blonde thought he was an expert at being a dad… until (S/N) woke up.

Luckily, he was in his crib, because he threw up and started crying. Katsuki went to pick him up and kiss his forehead. « Shhhh » he kept saying. Once (S/N) wasn’t crying anymore -but still with teary eyes- the man took off his clothes to put him in pyjamas instead. « Clean clothes ! All good. »

Still, his son looked very sad. « I hope it’s not the little taste of chocolate I gave you earlier. » he said, laying next to his kid, looking at him. « You’re the cutest little shit, I’m gonna take care of you forever. » he murmured. « Hey. I know something that made me laugh. Maybe it will make you laugh too. »

Katsuki remembered that time Camie made an illusion of Shoto and it had made him laugh hysterically. So, he stood up and said « I wanna see your cute face » looking (S/N) right into his eyes. The toddler laughed so much he rolled on his back on the couch and… threw up again… from laughter this time.

« Ohhhh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry ! » the blonde said, picking up yet again his toddler full of vomit. Luckily, he wasn’t crying this time. « It’s okay, we’re gonna take a bath so you’ll be all clean when mom/dad comes back. » he said, taking his son to the bathroom. Yep. Being a dad was so easy.

Shoto Todoroki

Shoto seemed confident to take care of his daughter without you in the house to arrive in case something happens. So you had left happily. In reality he was absolutely terrified. Sure, he had seen you taking care of (D/N). But it was his only example !

The little girl didn’t seem to mind that you were gone, which was a good start. Shoto only had to change her and play a bit with cubes with her, and then he got bored of it so he decided to bring a little baby illustration book. « See ? A cat. Meow » he started.

(D/N) mostly looked at him rather than the book. She was very young, after all. But one page caught her attention. Shoto pointed to a prince. « Prince. He has a nice costume. » he said, talking as if she understood. But she actually poked the illustration, touching her father’s hand.

« Oh ? You like it ? » Shoto remembered about his Halloween costume you had kept ; a prince outfit. He took his daughter and went upstairs, changing. When he was fully costumed, he heard her squeal and she grabbed her feet. He snorted. « You’re adorable ! » he said, picking her up.

They went back downstairs and Shoto put on some baby songs and cartoons on TV. He didn’t know if she really cared or understood, but she stayed calm the whole afternoon. After giving her food, making funny noises and having to eat some baby food to make her accept to eat everything, Shoto hugged her to sleep.

When you arrived back home, you found them on the couch, (D/N) sleeping in her father’s arms. « I’m back ! Was she nice ? » you asked. Shoto nodded. « She’s really well-behaved for a baby. » he replied, making you giggle.

« And you’re wearing your Halloween costume ? » you asked, a bit confused. « We played dress-up ! » he replied, making you giggle -how could you have not guessed ?! Seeing you happy about how he took care of (D/N), Shoto thought that taking care of a baby alone wasn’t so bad, after all.

[teaberrii]

Chapter Twenty-Three: Hello, Mother

Alhaitham has the looks and the smarts. He will also be the stand-in CEO for his grandfather's company for a year.

But, he's been mysteriously cursed to turn into a cat every night since his eighteenth birthday… until he meets you, an employee at his grandfather's company, who rescues him as a cat and changes him back with one kiss.

Alhaitham/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on AO3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

“I guess this means you haven't told him you were coming."

“No,” she answers, turning off her phone screen to look at the passing scenery. “You and Dad are the only ones who know.”

“So, they put you in charge of the Sumeru branch?”

Alhaitham's mother spun around in her chair. She stood and looked out the window at Liyue's beautiful night scenery. "That's right. I'm finally coming home. To you and Haitham."

“...Does this mean you’re going to tell him? You know you can’t hide it forever.”

“I trust this means you kept my secret.”

Alhaitham’s grandfather sighed heavily. “Do you know how much it pains me to keep this from him? You’re his mother, for goodness sake.”

“...I’ll tell him. When the time is right.”

Soon, the car pulls up to a fancy, high-rise apartment. Alhaitham’s secretary shifts the gears and asks, “Should I grab your luggage?”

“No need. I won’t be staying long.”

Then, she steps out of the car and closes the door.

Alhaitham is reading in his study when his phone rings. Upon seeing the name on the screen, he closes his book and picks it up.

“Mom?”

“The one and only.”

“...Is everything okay?”

“Do things have to be not okay for me to call you?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Alhaitham says. “It’s just… you usually don’t call unless you have news.”

She smiles. “Well, I do have news, Haitham. Come down to the lobby.”

Alhaitham’s eyes go wide. “You’re… here?”

“Why not see for yourself?”

It doesn’t take long for Alhaitham to be on his way down. When he exits the elevator, he immediately sees his mother. He walks up to her and the two share a tight embrace.

“Since when did you get so tall?” she asks.

“I guess I’ve been drinking my milk,” he answers, letting her go. Then, he sees his secretary walk inside. “He drove you here?”

Alhaitham’s mother looks over her shoulder. “That’s right. He knew I was coming.” She put a hand on her son’s cheek. “I wanted to surprise you, Haitham. It’s been so long.”

He smiles. “It really has.” Then, he looks at his secretary. “Thanks for picking her up.”

The man nods in response.

On the way up to Alhaitham’s flat, Alhaitham learns that his mother’s company is opening a branch in Sumeru, and they’ve put her in charge of overseeing its operations.

“I’ll be in Sumeru for a long time,” she says.

“What about Dad?”

“...Let’s talk about him a little later. I want to know more about this girlfriend of yours.”

Alhaitham smiles. “You’ve already heard about her?”

“A little from your grandfather. He only had good things to say.”

“You’ll love her.”

Alhaitham's mother smiles slightly. "I know that look." Then, she chuckles. "You're in love."

Alhaitham slightly blushes but says, “Yes, I am.”

As soon as the elevator doors open, Alhaitham ushers his mother and secretary inside his flat. Then, he takes out his phone and sends you a quick text.

My mother’s back in Sumeru. She’s at my place right now. Would you like to meet her?

It doesn't take long for you to reply.

Really?! Of course. But… now? I’m already in my PJs!

Alhaitham smiles, and his mother catches it. “Are you texting her?”

He looks up. “I told her you’re back in town. She… lives across the hall, actually. So—”

“You’re neighbours?” she asks, surprised.

“Yes.”

His mother glances at the time. "I won't be staying long. So… let's have dinner with her sometime this week. I can book a table, and we can take time to get to know each other. How does that sound?"

“Sounds good.”

Alhaitham quickly relays the plan to you and gets drinks from the kitchen. Once he returns, he asks about his father again.

“I haven’t heard from him in a while. Is he well?”

His mother puts her glass on the table and forces a little smile. “I'd think so.”

“Did… something happen?”

“Why would you say that?”

“You seem a little tense.”

Alhaitham’s secretary turns to her. “...You should tell him.”

“...Tell me what?”

She takes a small breath. “Your father and I... got a divorce.”

It takes a moment for this sudden news to sink in. A… divorce? Since when are they on bad terms?

Alhaitham’s mother puts her hand on top of his. “I know you must be shocked, but—”

“When did this happen?” Alhaitham interrupts.

"...A few years ago."

“And you're telling me this now?” He doesn’t mean to sound peeved, but he assumed that his mother or… someone would’ve informed him of something as big as this.

"Haitham… I wanted to tell you, but… we were going through legal proceedings and"—she sighs—"there was a lot to deal with."

Alhaitham looks at his secretary. “...You knew about this?”

“He accidentally found out,” Alhaitham’s mother says quickly. “I didn’t want to tell anyone about it until after things settled down.”

“...What about Dad?”

Alhaitham's father looked up from the confidentiality clause to the woman he was once in love with. "...You don't even want to tell our own son about our divorce?"

“I will tell him when the time is right. He’s busy with his career right now. The last thing he needs is to find out about this. It’ll just distract him.”

"...And why are you the one who decides when to tell him?"

“Because I am his mother.”

The man glared back. “And I am his father.”

“Haitham would be ashamed of calling someone like you his father. Someone with no backbone.”

The man scoffed. “Is that what you want to call it?”

“Excuse me?”

“I fell in love with you because you were always so focused and determined to get what you want,” he said as Alhaitham’s mother slightly narrowed her eyes. “But I didn’t think you would go as far as to compromise your morals.”

“I dare you to say that again,” she spat. “You do not get to say that to me when you have no idea what it’s like to climb the corporate ladder as a woman.”

"You're right. I don't. But as a decent human being, you don't have to drag others down to succeed."

She clenched her fists. What she really wanted to do was to tell him to get the fuck out. Maybe throw a remote in his direction. But instead, she walked up to him and said, “We’re divorced now, honey. That means… I don’t want you getting involved with me or my son.”

"Haitham wouldn't want this. Even if he knew we divorced, he would want us to be in his life."

She looked down and smiled. A storm was coming. He could feel it in his bones. When she looked up, the l ook in her eyes was almost predatory as if she was looking at her next meal.

“You’re no longer my husband. You’re a stranger. Someone who I will not hesitate to file a restraining order against if you cross the line.”

“...Cross the line? I only want to be in my son’s life. He’s an adult. He can make his own decisions.”

"Do you really want Haitham to know that you were the one who gave me the divorce papers out of the blue?" She stepped toward him. He stepped back. "Do you really want him to know how much emotional turmoil you put me through when I was just about to get that promotion? Do you really want him to know that it was because of you I had to quit and restart my career?" She put a hand on the counter. "Do you really want Haitham to look badly on you like that? I'm doing you a favour."

"I was trying to help—"

"I never should've listened to you. That advice cost me everything."

Alhaitham's father clenched his fists. "...You aren't the woman you used to be," he said quietly. "Since when did you… get so selfish?" Then, he exhaled sharply and left the house where happy memories were now a distant memory.

Alhaitham’s mother has no intention of telling her son anything that happened. That is her secret and hers alone.

"I'm sure he'll get in touch in one day," she finally says.

“But… what happened? I thought…”

She holds Alhaitham’s hand tightly. “Sometimes… relationships don’t work out, no matter how much two people love each other. It took us that long to find out we were too different.”

Alhaitham hates that he can't pinpoint why his mother's statement sounds off. Too different? Why does it sound like an excuse? Perhaps she's still getting over the divorce, and the last thing he wants to do is hurt his mother. No need to pour salt on the wound.

Alhaitham sighs. “I really wish you told me. It must’ve been hard going through that alone.”

She smiles. “You were so focused on your career back then. Besides, I could handle it myself. I’m doing fine now, aren’t I?”

"And does Grandfather know?"

“...He does.”

So, Alhaitham is the last to know, apparently. Something about that does not sit well with him.

Later that night, after his mother and secretary leave, Alhaitham is at your place. You walk into the living room carrying two cups of tea. When you set them down, you glance and sit next to him.

“Is everything okay?” you ask. “You’re quieter than usual.”

Alhaitham slightly smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He holds your hand, and you sense something is definitely wrong.

“...My mom just told me that she and my dad got a divorce.”

Your eyes widen, and you almost gasp. “...Oh, Haitham.”

He leans his head against your shoulder, and you kiss his head. "It was just… so sudden. I had no idea they were on bad terms."

You hold his hand tightly. “...Is she okay?”

Alhaithams leans up and sighs. "She seems fine." You and Alhaitham are facing each other now. "But, I can't get in touch with my dad. It's... strange."

“I can understand why they might have not wanted to tell you when it was happening… they didn’t want to worry you.”

He nods. “I think so, too. But… I just want to know what happened. She was very vague about it.”

“What did she say?”

After Alhaitham tells you, he says, “Relationships don’t just fall apart out of nowhere.”

"That's true..."

He gives you a sad smile. “I want to think positively and say it’s because my mother thinks it's all in the past. There's no need to bring it up. But, at the same time, I also think she’s hiding something.”

You hold both of his hands. "...Regardless, I'm here for you, Haitham. Every step of the way."

He leans in, and just as he kisses your head…

Poof!

You sigh with a small smile. Then, you look at the time. “Well… this is interesting. You’re an hour late this time. That’s progress, I would say.”

Alhaitham walks onto your lap and meows. You scratch him behind the ears, and he leans into your touch.

“You’re taking longer and longer to turn.”

You lean back on the couch and watch Alhaitham stand on his hind legs. Then, he puts his front paws… on your breasts. You give him a slight, deadpan look as he looks down and kneads them with his paws. Then, he stops, puts his head in the space between your breasts, and looks up at you with a small smile.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

You lie down on the couch, and he doesn't hesitate to walk on top of you and make himself comfortable. He curls up just near your chest and nuzzles his face against you.

◆◆◆

Alhaitham is at the hospital the next morning since his grandfather is getting discharged. As the car weaves through the busy streets of Sumeru, Alhaitham tells him that his mother finally told him about the divorce.

His grandfather sighs loudly. “You aren’t the only one she wanted to keep in the dark.” Alhaitham looks at him. “She wanted to keep all of us in the dark.”

“...How did you find out?”

"I paid her a surprise visit. Remember when I told you I was going on a business trip a few years ago? I dropped by their place, only to find out they sold it."

“...So, they were already divorced then.”

“I called them, and it was your father who picked up. He told me to ask your mother. I knew something was wrong.”

When Alhaitham’s grandfather finally got hold of her, he almost couldn’t control his temper. “What's going on? Where are you?”

“...I’m at work, Dad. What is it?”

“I’m in Liyue right now. I thought I’d surprise you by paying you a visit… but you sold the house? Where are you living? What happened?”

"We aren’t living together anymore.”

“Why?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll explain later, okay? I have to get back to work.”

“It took some persistence,” Alhaitham’s grandfather continues. “...But I finally got it out of her.” He looks at the secretary who’s driving them home. “He was there when she broke down about it.”

“...Is it because she thought we’d be worried?” Alhaitham asks.

“I sure hope so.”

Then… why does it seem like it’s not?

Soon, the car pulls up to a large house. While Alhaitham’s secretary grabs the bags, Alhaitham helps his grandfather inside.

“Ah… it feels so nice to be home.”

“Do you need me to grab you anything?” Alhaitham says as his grandfather sits on the couch.

He waves a hand dismissively. "Get to work, child. You have stuff to do! A company to run!"

"Well, call me if you need anything."

Just as Alhaitham opens the door, his grandfather calls his name. "I feel like your mother isn't the same person she used to be."

Is this an indirect warning?

"It might be from the divorce... or something else. But, just look out for her."

Alhaitham nods and walks out the door.

On the way to the company, Alhaitham looks at his secretary in the rearview mirror.

“...Has my mother ever said anything about my father?”

“She hasn’t.”

Alhaitham crosses one leg over the other. “...She didn’t ask you to keep quiet about him, did she?”

“No. I… hope you’ll believe me.”

Well, does he have a choice?

Then, Alhaitham’s phone starts ringing. Right when the car turns a corner, he answers it.

“Surprised?”

“A little,” Alhaitham says. “Is everything okay?”

Layla takes a short breath. “I won’t take up too much of your time, Haitham. It's about your mother. She invited me to dinner, the one with you and her.” Alhaitham slightly narrows his eyes. “...Has she met her yet?”

“No, not yet. What did my mother say to you?”

“Dinner?” Layla asked.

“Yes, dear. It’s been so long since I last saw you.”

“I’d love to, Auntie, but… it would be kind of strange, wouldn’t it? You’re meeting Haitham’s girlfriend and—”

“They’re working at the same company, aren’t they?”

“...Is that… bad?”

Alhaitham’s mother sighed. “I’m just worried about him. Haitham has a heart of gold. I’m afraid this woman is taking advantage of him.”

“Oh, no, Auntie. I’ve met her. She’s not—”

“Please join us for dinner, Layla. I’d love your company. Oh… but… would you mind keeping our conversation a secret from Haitham?”

“...Why?”

She smiled. “I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

What is his mother planning? Alhaitham rubs the space between his brows.

“Hey…” Layla’s soft voice makes him look up. “Did something happen with her recently? It feels like she’s a little different from what I remember.”

Alhaitham sighs. “...That’s what I’m trying to piece together.”

“...Listen, if you and her want me there, I’ll come to dinner. But, if you don’t, I won’t show up uninvited.”

"Don't say that, Layla," Alhaitham says. "...I've recently found out some things between my parents, so I'm not sure what's been happening with my mother." 

“I don’t know why your mother seems to have such a bad impression of her when she hasn’t met her yet. It doesn’t make sense.”

“...Thanks for telling me, Layla. I’ll deal with it.”

“Hey… if anything happens, I’m here for the two of you. Okay?”

Alhaitham smiles slightly. “Thanks.”

Once he ends the call, his secretary looks at him in the rearview mirror. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes. Everything’s fine. It was a friend.”

◆◆◆

Your presentation on your story proposal has ended, and you feel like you can finally relax. You gave it your all, and now it’s up to fate. As everyone starts leaving the meeting room, Signora comes up to you.

“Hey… have a minute?”

You look at her and nod. You’re walking side-by-side as she cautiously asks you about Dottore.

“...You dated him?” she asks.

“Small world, I guess. He’s my ex, and now you’re his friend.”

“Well… I wouldn’t say friend, but"—when she catches the look you’re giving him, she almost slaps your arm—“Oh, my God! I’m not sleeping with him.”

You raise your hands in defence. “I said nothing.”

“Anyway, I’m glad nothing came out of those videos. Nothing happened, right?”

“Not that I know of. If something did, I assume I would’ve heard something by now.”

Signora quietly clears her throat and nudges you. “But, hey… you and Alhaitham… who made the first move?”

“What makes you think we’re dating?”

As much as you want to tell the truth, the fewer people who knew, the better.

“Let’s just say it’s a hunch.”

“Hey, Signora!”

A colleague waves her over, so she turns to you. “Well, see you around.”

As Signora walks away, Childe comes around the corner. “Hey, you. How did the presentation go?”

“It went well, I think. I did all I could.”

“Does this mean you have time to talk about… something else?”

You raise a brow. “Something else?”

You and Childe are walking side-by-side. “...Lumine and I are seeing each other.”

“So, you two finally talked?”

“Well… long story short, I admitted some things, told her she could think about it, and… it ended with a kiss.”

You smile. “And all it took was just simple communication.”

Childe looks at you. “You don’t feel weird about it?”

“Anything can happen,” you say, meeting his eyes, “but as long as you’re seeing each other seriously, you have my support.”

Childe smiles. “Thanks.”

Is it just you, or does Childe seem not as happy as you thought he’d be?

You gently nudge him. “Hey, why aren’t you jumping for joy?” Then, jokingly, “I thought you’d be telling me about all the dates you’d want to take her on.”

“...I tried getting in touch with my parents yesterday.”

Your smile immediately disappears. “...And?”

“I couldn’t get in touch with either of them.”

“They didn’t text or… anything?”

He sighs. "That's what I find a little weird. I mean… we have our moments of not talking to each other. But it's not like them to just… ignore me for weeks. I sent them a text this morning, but they didn't even look at it."

“Maybe you could drop by and check on them. It might be better than anxiously waiting around.” You put a comforting hand on his arm. “I’m sure they’re fine.”

Childe smiles slightly. "You know… I've been thinking about why my curse is still unstable." You let go of his arm. "Going by the whole love theory… It might be because I can never really hate them. There's still a part of me that obviously still cares despite how much anxiety they put me through about the path I chose. If I didn't say what I said at the Awards Night, it makes me wonder if I'd still be cursed."

“...I’ve been thinking a little about the curse myself.” You and Childe stop in front of an elevator. “Since Haitham and I found out we crossed paths almost ten years ago… it took him longer to transform. In other words, the curse is changing…. Again. And if I’m right about this pattern, it’s all because we discovered something that had to do with us.”

The elevator doors open, and you and Childe step inside.

"It makes me think that… maybe your parents have a secret they don't want you to know about," you continue. "Or… a secret yet to be discovered that has to do with you and them."

Childe smiles wryly. “If that’s the case, this curse just wants to bring everything to light, doesn’t it?”

And you hope it’s only the good.

◆◆◆

Alhaitham is just about to get off work when he gets a text from you: Up for some flower shopping?

“It’s a tradition.”

That evening, you and Alhaitham are picking out flowers for your father's death anniversary right around the corner. Childe and Lumine are in another part of the store, picking out their small bouquet. Your mother had already gotten hers and went grocery shopping across the street. Aether had joined her as he felt "left out," being the only single pringle there.

“At first, it was only my mother and me,” you continue, looking from your growing bouquet to Alhaitham. “But after she adopted Lumine and Aether, they also wanted to join.”

Alhaitham picks up a peace lily and hands it to you. Then, with a small gentle smile, he asks, "Is there room for one more?" You take the flower and arrange it with the rest of your bouquet.

“You’d like to be part of the tradition?”

Alhaitham leans in and whispers in your ear, “...Well, you are my forever.” Your eyes widen. “As something as important as this”—he leans upright—“I’d like to be by your side.”

“...You’re not proposing, are you?” you joke.

“Does this mean you’d like me to?”

“Well… it sounds like a two-for-one deal to me. A cat and a husband? Not bad if I say so myself. But..."

Alhaitham saw that coming. He takes your hand. "I know you'd rather have the cat."

"...For now."

You and Alhaitham share a laugh until Lumine comes up to you. You look behind him while Alhaitham turns. Your smile instantly disappears when you see a worried look on your sister’s face.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

“Oh, um… Childe said something came up.”

You and Alhaitham glance at each other.

“He didn’t say much and just left," Lumine continues. "I… think he got a call from his parents, though.”

You remember the conversation you and Childe had earlier in the day about his mother. You walk up and put an arm around her. “Isn't that a good thing?"

"...I guess. But, he sounded scared. Worried? I don't know."

"Hey, let’s not jump to conclusions about anything. Let’s wait for an update.”

Lumine smiles and slightly nods. “...Yeah, you’re right.”

You and Alhaitham look at each other. As much as you want to believe you’re right, you can’t ignore this sudden dreadful feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Chapter Twenty-Four

End notes: I may or may not have left some kind of a hint for the big(?) reveal of the secret behind the curse. Anyway, things are moving to their last stretch.

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @lxry-chxn @seirenspinel @sakiimeo @ash-in-lavender @ceylestia @forsh4dow @deathkat657 @kalpie @elernity @sentieence @chichibleeps @sunsethw4 @hjjks @tanspostsblog @nqctre @just-simping-over-genshin @uchihaeirin @vynbin @ayanokomu @dksfl920 @rin1802 @itztaki @thetwinkims @imkaaayy @angeilix @starlighttotheleft @letthewindlead @thelonelyarchon @certaindreampost @winterpein @theprinceofkhaos @vvyeislazzy @warrior-of-justice

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

The Sun Says Hello - Omori fanfic - Part 1

Part 2

Kel walked past Sunny’s house everyday. He’s been doing it for the past 4 years. 

Was it silly? Hopeful wishing? Yes. 

But he didn’t have to give up hope. Hope that Sunny might just.. peak his head out.. even for just for a moment..

But it never happened. 

Every day. 

Every morning, every afternoon, every night. 

When it rained, when it snowed, when the sun was beating down. 

Kel never gave up hope, even when he knew all hope should be lost. 

“You know that house down the street?” Whispered a group of kids, Kel’s classmates. “I hear the kid who lives there is actually a ghost! And every night he leaves the house to stall around. And he eats cats! And rats!”

Kel’s nose scrunched up at the gossiping kids. The story sounded like it was pulled straight from To Kill A Mockingbird. Kel would’ve laughed at how ridiculous it was if it he didn’t have any sense of empathy.

“Hey!” Kel exclaimed. “His name is Sunny! And he’s not some creepy ghost!”

The kids jumped in surprise. “You know him, Kel?”

“Yes! Well.. I did. When we were kids!”

The kids raised their eyebrows. “I heard he killed his sister!”

Kel stood up quickly. “You shut your mouth! Mari.. she..! THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!” 

And Kel ran off with tears in his eyes. He ran to Sunny’s house and leaned against the forever closed door and quietly prayed that Sunny would open it. Of course, the moon never came out to comfort the sun.

That was 2 years ago, when Kel was 14.

Kel found his reaction to have been overdramatic now that he’s older. He knew he should’ve just corrected them and told them it’s not cool to gossip. But Sunny was his friend. How could he have not defended him? Especially since Sunny was so.. traumatized. Lonely.. 

Kel was making his usual trip around Sunny’s house, but he felt his heart drop down to his stomach. 

A For Sale sign sitting at the front lawn.

Sunny.. is moving? No, he couldn’t be.. not when he’s been waiting for so long for Sunny to come outside.

Kel saw Sunny’s mom on the driveway and he ran over to her. “Mrs. Sunny’s Mom!” he exclaimed. 

She turned and smiled. “Oh, Kel! It’s so good to see you!” She pinched his cheek. “You’ve grown up so much!”

“Oh, haha.. yes, it’s good to see you too.. um.. is it.. are you.. are you moving?!”

She looked at Kel in surprise and she smiled sadly. “Yes. I.. I think moving will do me.. Sunny.. some good. Start new! Get away from this house..”

Kel clenched his fists and looked down, doing everything in his power to avoid hyperventilating. 

“Can.. can you maybe get him to come outside? So we can.. hang out?”

She gave him a sympathetic look and sighed. “I can try. But Sunny.. he just stays in his room all the time, asleep. He’s usually unresponsive. He most likely won’t listen to me if I ask him to.”

Kel looked down to hide his disappointment. 

“But..” she said. “I can perhaps try to encourage him. Here.” She pulled out her flip phone and dialed in a number. She put it to her ear and began to leave a message. 

“Kel saw our for sale sign and came by,” she said, winking at Kel who quickly straightened up. “He wants to spend time with you. I think it’ll do you some good to say goodbye to everyone.”

She hung up and turned to Kel. 

“You’ll just have to wait and see. I’m not even sure if Sunny even checks my voicemails, ha!”

“Do you.. ever actually talk to him..? Or do you just leave voicemails?”

Her eyes widened and she quickly looked away, almost guilty. “Kel, I don’t think that’s really any of your business, sweetie..” She paused and inhaled, forcing a smile. 

“I do hope Sunny comes out and you two can hang out. Like the good old days!” She squeezed his shoulder and got in her car and drove off. 

Kel watched as her car left and he turned to look up at the second story window. The window that belonged to Sunny’s room. 

Just behind those curtains was his best friend. In his room, alone, like he’s been for 4 years.. Kel’s heart hurt at just the idea. What was Sunny doing up there all the time, all alone?

Kel didn’t dare let his head drift off to the paranoid thoughts. He couldn’t think the worse! Letting his thoughts drift to ideas like that would only make him feel even more miserable and guilty. 

Don’t worry, Sunny.. he thought, clenching his fists. I’ll keep waiting for you to come outside.. and when you do.. I’ll make your last days here ones to remember!

Divider credits @firefly-graphics

[supercooltwixzip]

my favorite childhood shows

I don’t even remember when I stopped watching these. It just seems like one day, I just did. (I think I age regress sometimes but my mom won’t listen to me so 🤠) this brings back so many good memories…they make me wanna cry. I wish I could be happy like my little toddler self was, watching these shows and truly loving every day I lived through. Anyway!

wonderpets

backyardagans

wallykazam

dora

team umizoomi

peppa pig

bubble guppies

peg + cat

Max and Ruby ❤️

max and ruby will forever rule my heart

if I could tell all these characters, myself, and all the kids of future generations one thing, it’d be:

don’t grow up too fast

“oh well Noah everyone says that-“

Once you reach around double digits (it was age 7 for me due to trauma), everything changes. It doesn’t feel the same. The days continue to get grayer. The happiness is squeezed out of life like a lemon is squeezed for its juice. No matter how old or young you are, I’m not even an adult, but please remember to enjoy life, smile, to drink water, to eat, to take some time for self love, because you really do matter. You really do make the world a better place, and feel free to vent in my request thingy. :)

also sign this please

[orpheus-but-gay]

“Maybe it’ll sound kind of Freudian but I think I love others in the way my mom loves me. Like, anytime I need a shoulder to cry on, she’ll be there. Even in the middle of the night, I can wake her up and she’ll hold me and tell me everything’s gonna be ok. And when I love someone I wanna give them that same comfort. I’ll hold their head and promise this won’t last forever. But I also love the way my dad loves. When my mom orders something at a restaurant and doesn’t like it, he always switches with her. Or if the cat throws up on my rug, he’ll come with paper towels and cleaning spray to do the unpleasant task for me. And I worry I don’t say “I love you” enough, but I took the middle seat when we flew home for break.”

[imaginedreamwrite]

Bodyguard Ari x baker reader:

The one time she can't hide from him because single mom reader has an emergency and had to leave early

Your luck, sooner or later, was bound to run out. It wasn’t a matter of if but a matter of when. There was no possible chance for you to completely avoid Ari Levinson for the rest of your life, especially since he had found you at that party while you went out with the girls.

Really, it was just a matter of time before Ari found you alone and given that Jensen’s girl had an emergency with one of her kids and had to leave early. That left you alone with some sweet after school teenagers who were working, to face Ari alone.

Without the cover of Jake’s potential sweetheart, you were unable to hide in the back. It was your bakery, your business that had grown immensely, and you were damn proud of it. However given that you were the owner, that meant you couldn’t hide from Ari forever.

“I like our games of cat and mouse.” His voice startles you in such a way that you jump back and bump yourself against a tray of cleaned silverware, the clatter of metal hitting tile floors chaotic and melodic.

“Ari!” You say his name as a deft scold, though its one that feels weak and half-assed. “Don’t scare me!”

“You can’t run from me now, rabbit.” His eyes are playful yet energized by desire, and the look has you reeling as an ache appears between your thighs. “Relax, little buttercup. I promise I won’t eat you today.”

“Eat me?” Your eyes widen and then they narrow, and within a moment your arms cross over your chest and that fire takes hold of you. “Who the hell do you think you are? You can’t come in here and say things like that.”

“No?” Ari questions you, leaning in to place one large thick hand against the countertop, fingers flexing to produce an explicit thought in your hand that fuels the fire in your belly.

I want those hands on me and in me—your inner thoughts crater to desire and your distraction is noted by the giant.

“Can I order a coffee and my usual, buttercup?”

“You can damn well say please.” Your fire ignites, flames spitting ashes at Ari that he welcomes wholeheartedly.

“Please,” he speaks sultrily, purring as he leans against the counter and flexes just enough to illicit a sharp squeak, “can I order my usual, buttercup?”

“Laying it on thick, Levinson,” you sharply turn away from him and with a nod of your head you get started on his order, “but at least you know your manners.”

“I passed kindergarten, sweetheart. I know the basics.” Ari slapped a bill down on the counter, giving you a tip that was quintuple the meagre bill and then he walked toward the pickup counter, keeping his eyes fixed on you.

[bitchyglitterfox]

Sunday Morning Rain Is Pouring - S. Reid x Reader

Warnings: angst, happy endings, spoilers for season 12

*****

You were sitting in your little book corner, the wide window helps you watch the rain fall from the sky. Spencer has been in prison for almost 3 months now and the depression you are currently feeling is being reflected by the weather. Usually when the depression hit you would try to distract yourself, reading books he would recommend to you or watching JJ’s boys.

The last time you had seen him you left in tears.

“I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here between the trial and getting me out of here. I—I can’t keep holding you back,” his voice is soft and quiet. You can see the bruise forming in his eye. It squeezes at your heart that he’s been hurt in this god forsaken place, where he doesn’t belong.

“You aren’t holding me back, when you first got back into the states I told you I would be with you through this whole thing. I love you so much Spence, don’t push me away please,” you say as tears begin to well into your eyes, you desperately want to grab him—hold him and kiss him—and never let go but the rules of the prison wouldn’t allow it.

“I think we need to break up, you can’t keep waiting around for someone who can’t even hold you or kiss you. I love you so much but I have to let you go,” Spencer can’t look you in the eyes while he says this.

“No you don’t get to throw two years of our lives away because you think it’s what’s best. I won’t let you. I love you so much and I will fight for us both even if you can’t right now. I love you Spencer. Forever and a day! I will fight for us.”

That had been a conversation from 2 weeks ago, since then you have been helping with his case even if you didn’t work for the FBI, but it was hard and it broke your heart whenever something came up to a dead end, which is why you were in the current position.

Your ears perk up when you hear the front door unlock. You assume it’s JJ since she has your spare since she had been keeping an eye on you for the past few months. You don’t turn your head to the sound because she knows how you get sometimes especially when it rains.

When the door closes however you turn your head and tears in your eyes begin to form when you see Spencer standing in the doorway of your apartment. You stand up on shaky legs and run towards him, you grip tightly onto his clothes fearing if you let go he might just disappear and this would all actually be a dream. Your sobs racked through you, you kept your face in his chest as he rubbed your back and gently kissed your forehead.

“H-how, when did you get out?” You ask, pulling away, looking up into his own tear ridden eyes.

“It was these girls from previous cases whose names are Lindsey Vaugh and Cat Adams, they um, they took my mom and framed me as a revenge plot,”

“Oh Spence,” you hold him closer, “all that matters now is that you are safe, your mom is safe and you are home,”

“I’m so sorry I said those things to you while I was in there, I didn’t mean them, I love you so much.” his voice wavers. You take his face in your hands and look up at him.

“I know. I told you I would fight for both of us until you could fight for us as well.”

You share a sweet kiss and go to make him coffee. Content now that he was home and free from the charges.

*****

A/n: finally finished season 12 and my heart couldn’t take Spence in jail 😭

[atths--twice]

Day, Week, and Forever

Wanting to fill the silence in the car, Mulder asks Scully an interesting question.

I am always thinking about story ideas, living in my own head, and this came to me. I love thinking of the times when they were driving for miles and miles and what they would discuss in those moments.

Hope you enjoy it. ❤️

May 1999

“If you could be an animal, what kind of animal would you choose?” Mulder asked, breaking the current silence in the car.

“What?” Scully asked, turning her head to look at him.

“Enlighten me, Scully, and tell me the animal you would choose to be if given the opportunity,” he said with a grin, but then his expression changed as he remembered something and he scoffed. “And don’t say Eleanor Roosevelt’s beloved childhood cat or something as mundane as that.”

“What would be wrong with that choice?” she asked and he gave her a pointed look before turning his attention back to the road. “I’m sure if she had a cat it would be much beloved.”

“Boring,” he breathed as he shook his head and she laughed softly.

“Okay,” she said and he glanced at her as she shifted in her seat. “Am I this animal forever?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, am I picking said animal with the thought that I will forever be that animal or is this a one day type thing?”

“I don’t see the difference.”

“There’s a huge difference,” she said, crossing her legs as she looked at him, gesticulating with her hands. “I might not want to be one animal forever, but maybe… a couple different ones.”

He grinned and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought.

“Okay. Day, week, and forever. They can be the same or different. What would they be and why? Go.”

“Okay.” She turned her head and looked out the window, but then looked at him again. “Will I be safe?”

“What?”

“As this animal. Will I be safe? I won’t be prey for anything or harmed in any way?”

“Hmm. No,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re free to live your life as the animal of your choosing for the time period you’ve selected.”

“Good,” she said with a nod. “Then for the day, I’d like to be a fish.”

“A fish?”

“Mm-hmm. And not in a tank or anything. Out in the ocean.”

“Any particular species of fish?”

“Hmm… a parrot fish.”

“Okay. And why?”

“Because…” she said, a small smile on her face. “Well, the parrot fish in particular because I think they’re beautiful. Plus, they live in tropical environments, so the water would be warm.”

“Fair enough,” he said with a chuckle.

“And a fish in general, because I’d like to experience what it’s like to breathe underwater. To feel my gills moving to do so. And swimming. My mom used to say that I swam like a fish when I was younger. I’d like to know how that really feels. Swimming on my own, down in the quiet of the ocean.”

“You know, oceans aren’t actually quiet. There are-”

“The relatively quiet ocean,” she said, correcting herself as she rolled her eyes at him and he grinned.

“And for the week? Will you pick something similar to the fish?”

“No,” she said, smiling as she looked at him. “If it’s for a week, I’d like to be a horse.”

“A horse?” he asked in mild surprise.

“Yeah. But not a tamed one that’s kept in a stable and fussed over. Something wild… like a mustang living somewhere like New Mexico.”

“Okay. And why?”

“Well, while the animal isn’t the same, the reasoning is somewhat similar, I suppose,” she said with a shrug as she looked out the window. “The feeling I’d have to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I’d run on the plains or up the hills, through canyons… wherever really.”

“Alone?”

“No,” she said, turning her head to smile at him. “In a family group.”

“Of which you’d be the alpha mare,” he teased and she exhaled a laugh, looking back out the window.

“Most likely.”

“More than likely.”

“Imagine being a horse like that,” she said quietly. “Together with those you trust and care for the most. Running and roaming from place to place. Crossing rivers. Finding food. Seeing new foals born and watching them grow up. I think I’d like that.”

“But not forever,” he said, picturing a family group of horses beside a river at dusk. He could practically hear the young ones whinnying and the reassuring responses from the older ones.

“No,” she said with a sigh as she looked out her window again. “Not forever.”

It was quiet again and he glanced at her, wondering what she was thinking.

“If I had to choose which animal to be forever,” she said, nearly whispering. “I’d choose to be a cat.”

“A… a cat?” he asked, completely taken aback. “Of all the animals in the world?”

“Yeah,” she replied. “I’d be a cat. Specifically a cat living with an old woman in an even older farmhouse. It would look rather rundown from the outside, the paint fading and the porch steps sagging a bit, but it would be the best place I’d ever lived.”

“Tell me more about it,” he said, the image of a farmhouse appearing in his mind.

“She’d have a garden that she tended to every day,” Scully continued, leaning back in her seat and sighing. “There would be all kinds of vegetables, fruits, and flowers. I would lay in the shade provided by the large leaves, the sun warming me as she hummed and went about her work. She’d call me puss-puss when she was in the garden, sweet lady when she was cooking in the kitchen and I watched her from the chair she set aside just for me, and kitty-Katie when I laid beside her at bedtime, although that was not the name she gave me after I showed up at her porch one evening.”

“What was the name she gave you?”

“Adelia.”

He stared at her profile, marveling at the quickness to her response. It was as though she had thought of this scenario before he had asked.

“Adelia,” he repeated and she nodded.

“The old woman had lost a cat, you see. She’d had it for years and just before I showed up, it had passed. She didn’t want me, as her grief was too fresh, but I was in desperate need of help and she brought me inside. I still wasn’t doing well by the morning so she took me to the vet. When he saw me, he told her that I might not make it, but she said she knows I will. After three days, I was better and able to go home with her. Well now, she said to me as I curled up on her lap in her beat up old truck. I lost my sweet pussums and I was missin’ her terribly. I wasn’t lookin’ for a new cat and I certainly didn’t want you at first. But when he said you might not make it, I made a deal with the good Lord up above. And those kinds of deals well… ya have to stick to ‘em. So, my Adelia, aptly named for the deal I made with the man upstairs, we’re heading home. When you’re stronger and you’ve had some days layin’ out in the sunshine, we’ll set about to fulfill our side of the deal.”

She was quiet again and Mulder shook his head, his mind traveling in the truck with them as they rumbled down the road back to that old farmhouse.

“She’d made up a little spot for me on the porch for me to rest and sleep, but I preferred the rocking chair that sat in the corner,” Scully continued and now he was on the porch watching the old woman moving furniture around to accommodate the rescued cat. “It was her chair and she selflessly let me have it, bringing over another one to sit beside me. But eventually I would sit in her lap as she pet me, humming as she rocks the chair. When I’m stronger, she sets about fulfilling her promise. She grows the food in her garden and gives it to others who need it. She preserves, cans, and bottles anything she can and gives it to neighbors and people in town. I go with her on her deliveries and everyone says hello, giving me pets and scratches.”

Mulder exhaled, the details of the story making him feel that this had really happened. Or could happen.

The farmhouse, everything inside and surrounding it, was so clear in his mind, it was as though they could take a left turn up ahead and find it exactly as Scully had described.

“The old woman,” she said quietly. “She has a niece that comes to visit sometimes. She helps in the garden and listens to the old woman tell her how to can and preserve the fruits and vegetables. They laugh and stay up late into the night while I sleep on one of my various spots. But then, one day the old woman doesn’t get up early like she usually does. After that morning, she’s slower than normal and she tires out easily, spending most of the day in the porch rocking chair. I don’t mind as I get her full attention, purring happily as she pets me.”

“Hmm,” Mulder hummed, not liking where he knew the story was going.

“Adelia, the old woman says to me one day. Adelia, I feel a change in the air. In my very bones,” Scully said, letting out a sigh. “You’ve been a wonderful cat to me. A comfort like you’d never fully understand. And I’m sorry I’ll have to leave ya soon. You’ll be taken care of, I’ve seen to that, but I’ll miss ya, oh so very much.”

“Scully,” Mulder whispered warningly and he heard her sniff softly.

“The old woman’s niece comes to stay and I’m happy to see her, but it’s not the same. They aren’t up late laughing. They are quiet and the old woman doesn’t leave her bed much. Soon not at all. And then one day she does and she doesn’t come back.” Scully sniffled again, wiping her eyes. “I wait for her on the porch, look for her in the garden, meowing for her and waiting to hear her calling for me. But it never happens. People come over, lots of people. They give me scratches and pets, but I don’t want them. I only want the old woman. I sleep on her pillow and I don’t eat for a few days, not understanding where she’s gone and why I can’t find her. One night, the niece comes to the bedroom and lays down beside me, watching me with sad eyes. Hey, kitty-Katie, she says softly and my ears perk up. I know you miss her. I do too. But we’ve got each other. We’re going to be okay. I don’t understand exactly what she means, but I get up and lay down beside her, purring for the first time in days as she holds me and cries.”

Mulder gripped the steering wheel, blinking away the tears in his eyes and swallowing hard to get past the lump in his throat.

“When she starts to work in the garden, singing softly as she wears the old woman’s apron and big sun hat, I watch her from the porch. She sees me and smiles before she goes back to the garden. I walk off the porch, watching her curiously. I follow her, staying in the tall leaves where she can’t see me, waiting for something, though I don’t know what it is. Hey, puss-puss, she calls out and I meow and purr at the same time, running up to her and winding around her ankles. There’s a good girl, she says as she bends to pet me. When she stands up again, I see both her and the old woman. I lay down under the shade of the leaves, closing my eyes as I listen to her singing as she works.”

“Jesus Christ, Scully,” Mulder said, shaking his head. “I wasn’t expecting that. I was just attempting to fill the silence.”

“I didn’t anticipate it going that far,” she replied, sniffling as she too shook her head. “I honestly hadn’t ever thought about it before and it all just came to me. I could see it all happening so clearly.”

“Me too,” he whispered, still hearing the niece singing as she tended to the garden. “It was a really beautiful thought and told very well.”

“I do have an imagination, Mulder.”

“Yes, I am aware,” he said with a quiet laugh. “I admit, I was just surprised by the depth of the explanation.”

“Hmm. I’m sure you could have a field day analyzing the different animals and my reasoning behind each of them,” she said and he glanced at her as she wiped her eyes. “Especially the cat.”

“Adelia, you mean.”

“Yeah, Adelia,” she said with a smile.

“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’d want to analyze it.”

“No?” she asked, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

“I think your reasons were good and made perfect sense. And I also think if I thought too much more about Adelia and the old woman, well… I might embarrass myself when I blubber like a giant baby.” She laughed quietly and he smiled. Seeing a road sign advertising places to eat, he pointed to it. “You hungry?”

“I could eat,” she said with a shrug. “And while we do, you could tell me your three animals, unless you have just one in mind.”

“Day, week, forever?” he asked incredulously. “Naaaaah, there will definitely be three and the first one will obviously be a dragon.”

“A dragon is not a real animal. You never said anything about mythical creatures being an option,” she stated and he shrugged as he turned on the blinker.

“Never said it wasn’t either. You didn’t ask.”

“Because you said animals. Not animals and mythical creatures.”

“Did you want to change any of your answers?” he asked as they exited the highway. Stopping at the light, he looked at her as she sat in thought.

“No. I’m happy with my choices,” she answered.

“Not even to be a pegasus instead of a horse?”

She raised her eyebrows and then frowned, shaking her head.

“No. I’m sticking with my choices.”

“Okay,” he said as he turned left. “But when my choices blow yours out of the water, just remember I gave you this chance.”

“I think I’m good,” she said as she rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“We’ll see,” he replied, turning into the parking lot of the advertised diner.

But even as he told her his choices: a dragon, owl, and wolf, he could not help but think of that little old farmhouse and a cat hiding beneath the large leaves in a sunny and well tended garden.

[ragnar0c]

List of My EOIII OCs Reacting to Being Mugged (from least to most violent)

9.) Smiley

Would bawl her eyes out as she threw her wallet and ran away. If she’s being brave she might give a “Come on………. You don’t want rob a cutie like me.” But she’s a scaredy cat.

8.) Aurora

”Look over there!” Andddddd she’s gone.

7.) Ignis

IF SOMEONE WERE SO DESPERATE FOR MONEY THEY TRIED TO ROB A 6’3’’ ARMORED MAN…. He actually wouldn’t mind and he’d ask why. Then after the mugger either told him their story he’d give him what he had on him. If the mugger thought he was weird for asking, he’d keep prying (genuinely, something is wrong with him. But he’s curious) If the mugger tried attacking him, he’d only move defensively. In the end he would give them some money if they needed it.

6.) Alope

If someone tried to rob Alope she’d squint before she recognized them (BC SHE KNOWS EVERYONE) and go “Oh… I know you! You’re [insert person]’s kid!” They’d have two options from there. A.) fall into Alope’s small talk trap or B.) continue trying to mug her which would prompt her to threaten to tell their loved ones about it/ start teasing them.

But They’d know better. Also everyone knows Alope’s dirt poor. They’d pick better targets.

5.) Magnolia

You know how Alope would threaten to tell the muggers mom? Magnolia would start scolding them as if it were her job to discipline them.

“I understand being in need… But taking from others is reprehensible! You may gain some ental, but your moral backbone…! You would not want to jeopardize that, would you? How about I make you a meal and we can talk about some options for you?”

Only lower than Alope bc Alope wouldn’t scold them, only threaten to have them scolded before running off.

Slightly dangerous territory below

4.) Caspian

Instinctively body slams anyone who attempts to touch her. If the mugger were smart, it’d do them well to recognize her face after she throws them…. She’d pay them much more than she had on her person then if they were really hurt after and apologized.

3.) Tank

He’d warn them that they didn’t want to do this— play mind games, and say “Don’t remember which pocket I put my wallet in” so they have to pat him down. The mugger will be safe if they do not proceed or give up. Tank does all of this to stall them. To stall them until ENID arrives….

Dangerous‼️ Do NOT mug

2.) Enid

Try to mug Enid and Enid will punch the lights out of you even tho they aren’t supposed to carry valuables.

Tank is an insidious monster for stalling muggers long enough for Enid to deal with them. Especially since Enid tends to get more violent if they see someone else getting mugged.

“That’s one more problem off the streets.” No, Enid. You shoved their face into the pavement. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.

1.) Hana

Hana would fucking kill anyone who tried to mug her.

“Easy pickings” SHE CAN AND WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU. SHE WON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. I HAVE SEVERAL DRAFTS WHERE HANA WILL DO SOMETHING WEIRDLY CRUEL AND NOT CARE.

I’m supposed to write a scene where a thug threatens Alope and I’m forever thinking about how Hana starts charging up a fire spell— and Alope starts to push Hana along bc SHE DOESN’T WANT BLOOD ON HANA’S HANDS.

[giggles-and-freckles]

Tag Game To Better Know You

I have been tagged in so many things by so many of you lovely people in the midst of my sorta-hiatus and I would break the internet if I tried to catch up...but I like this one because it feels like a good little re-intro into the Tumblr world. :-)

What book are you currently reading?

The Writing Revolution...I can't in good conscience recommend it unless you also happen to find yourself as a teacher trying to capture teenagers' imaginations and get them to produce complete sentences! Hahahaha. Miserable toil.

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

Ooh, this one's easy--The Little Mermaid!! I have seen it with my family twice and then with my friends once. (I felt a little freer to lust after Prince Eric when my husband and two children weren't sitting there with me...)

What do you usually wear?

These days, some form of athleisure. During the school year, I've been told my teacher style is "Jessica Day if she didn't care so much" and...that about sums it up.

How tall are you?

5′5″ AND A HALF (alternatively: taller than @stolen-pen-name23 which is all that truly matters in this world)

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Cancer...I think? Malala Yousafzai and Henry David Thoreau!

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Most folks IRL call me Abigail. It's just my brothers, husband, and you guys who call me Abi!

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Absolutely not. I wanted to be a lawyer my entire life. My undergrad was pre-law and then life had other plans for me and now I'm teaching 8th grade American History. And LOVING IT. I start grad school in the fall and I'll be getting my Principal's Certification with that, so I suppose I'm in this education world for the long haul.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

I am tragically married. Sorry to all interested parties!

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I'm fairly good with piano and singing. I'm terrible at cooking.

Dogs or cats?

Dogs forever and ever!

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

Oh my. I haven't written as much as I'd like to this year (although I'm hoping to post something before the weekend!!) so I'm choosing to interpret this as the last 12 months. Maybe this bit from walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity?

He holds out his hand, wondering if she’ll bare touching him. “Goodbye, Leia.”

She is not a girl of gentleness—this, he can tell. But she accepts the hand like she’s afraid to shatter it. “Goodbye.”

“Saying my name won’t hurt you, you know,” he says, refusing to be the first to let go.

“Remind me?”

He rolls his eyes. “Anakin Skywalker.”

“Skywalker, you said?” she echoes, and lets their hands fall between them. She opens the door and smiles teasingly at him, tilting her head. “Interesting. That was my father’s name.”

What’s something you’d like to create content for?

I think I'm forever stuck in my prequels hell!

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Ur mom. Okay...sorry. Ahem. I've been sewing more lately. I used ot dabble in high school, but I'm finding more motivation to make things for my toddler than I did to make things for myself.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

The weather recently! It was supposed to rain the past couple weeks and we've not gotten much more than a few minutes of sprinkling. I looooove rainy days, so that's bummed me out quite a bit.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I'm excellent at whistling. It's completely useless, but I'll get compared to a Disney princess occasionally, so I guess that's something.

Are you religious?

Yes. My faith is very important to me, but it's *my* faith, so I don't feel the need to bring it up with strangers unless asked about it. (Crazy concept, right?)

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A cuppa tea...so I think I'll go put the kettle on byeeeee

No pressure tags: @pandora15 @stolen-pen-name23 @tessiete @ilonga @kckenobi & anyone who wants to join in the fun!

[lesbianwriter]

ohhhhh my god oh my god oh my GOD need more of hxvxc pLEASE CONTINUES THAT SNIPPET

I hear your pleas, so I deliver you another part

Part one | Part three

“I’m gonna die.” Civilian sobbed into her hands.

“You’re not going to die.” Villain rubbed Civilian’s back, sighing.

Shuddering, Civilian continued to wail, intaking sharp gasps of breath between her sobs.

It felt weak; it felt as if she had surrendered a war, but it was a war she couldn’t possibly win because the honest truth was that she was weak. Already, Civilian was a weak person. Everybody could trod on her like a doormat because she didn’t say anything, and she would never say anything because she was scared. Even if by some miracle she gained the courage to do anything—she couldn’t fight. She paled in comparison to the likes of Villain and Hero—people that were powerful. People that could merely snap their fingers and have average people bent to their will.

In the grand scheme of things, Hero and Villain were cats, and Civilian was a mouse.

“I wanna go home. Please.” Civilian begged, her legs shaking. She hadn’t moved from the loveseat. Villain had brought over a box of tissues and the pile by her side was steadily growing from a molehill into a mountain. But she didn’t think she could stop crying even if she wanted to.

“Civilian, be sensible. I can’t let you out in a state like this. You aren’t going to die. You aren’t going to get hurt.” Villain replied softly. “I like you, remember? You’ve done me no wrong. So it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I’m scared.” Civilian whimpered. She was so, so scared. Scared was a grievous understatement to the wicked tangle of emotions broiling in her gut.

Villain liked her, but how soon could that change? And how quickly would Civilian be hurt or worse if that were to happen? Would Villain still like her if she fell from grace? How soon before Villain decided she didn’t need a waste of space around?

“I have a meeting soon.” Villain mentioned. “I can’t sit here and go back and forth with you about this forever. You’re staying, and I won’t hurt you.”

“What about my family? My mom—“

“They’ll get a notice that you’re on a vacation.” Her boss already had an answer ready. “I figured you’d find out eventually…and I’m sorry that you did. This is my fault.” She squeezed Civilian’s hand. “I need to go now. Don’t try to leave or else Hero will be the one dragging you back.”

“You said she wouldn’t hurt me.”

“She won’t, but she’ll make you think she will.” Villain said. Her expression softened, the crease to her brows fading. “Be good, okay? I pinky promise that I’m not going to kill you.”

“Do you have more tissues?” Civilian sniffed.

Villain handed her another box. “Try not to pass out.”

@doublericenobeans

[thatbanditqueen]

Against the Wall Chapter 1

An Austin Butler 1980s Hollywood Christmas Story

This is Chapter One of a 3-part story I plan to post between now and NYE. It’s my first AB fic, my third fic ever... so be kind. I’m convinced, as always, that its... well.... not great... but whatever. I’m committed to seeing how many bars and alley ways my characters can f*&k in.... Please share/reblog if you enjoy, and let me know your thoughts!

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve 1987, and Austin finds himself at a Silverlake dive bar, where he meets the voluptuous and insecure Hannah. Both struggling to make it in the movie biz, they embark on a tumultuous relationship....

Rating: Explicit

Warning: smut, so 18+ only please, vaginal, oral, drugs, alcohol, references to toxic relationships, infidelity.

Words: 13.8 K.... the next one won’t be as long, exposition....

Playlist to keep you company as you read....

Chapter One: Bruised Bananas

 1:16 a.m. Thursday, December 24, Technically Friday morning, December 25, 1987

The Black Cat Lounge, Silver Lake

“You sure its ok for me to go, Han Han?”

Hannah leaned in, struggling to talk over the sound of Depeche Mode reverberating through the small, dark club.

“Course! I know you don’t get any in Iowa, so go have fun with Rod.”

“I think his name is Todd! OK….   maybe you’ll meet someone before closing? You’ve been working your brains out, you deserve a good Christmas fuck,” Sara looked into her friend’s eyes, and kissed her  cheek. “Call me tomorrow? I live near Abe’s, maybe I’ll stop by and say hi…”

“Yes, please, Sloan’s back from New York and she’s bringing her latest victim, I’ll need you…”

Sara nodded as she followed Rod or Todd or whatever to the door.  Hannah sipped her vodka tonic, relaxing, she felt warm and happy. The air was full of cigarette smoke, chatter and excitement. New Order’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” started and she hummed along, enjoying how the loud synth boomed through her body as she basked in the glow of the Christmas lights around the bar, the only bright spot in an otherwise almost pitch black room.  Christmas Eve girl’s night was their tradition, usually there were five or six high school friends but tonight it was the two of them. Sara was home from the Iowa Writer’s Workshop for a week, so when Rod or Tod or whatever his name had started buying them drinks, Hannah was happy for her. Sara paused and look back, eye brow arched silently confirming one last time that it was really ok to leave Hannah on her own. Hannah hoisted her thumbs up in the air and smiled broadly. Lopsidedly. Drunkenly. She rubbed her eyes, forgetting she had make up on. A fuzziness grew at the top of her head. You should go too… go pee… then leave.

There was a long line at the bathroom. This is going to take forever…..  Hannah pushed up the sleeves of her black, sequined blazer, wondering if she could make it home first. Even the thought of peeing made her want to burst.  Don’t risk pissing yourself in the cab, just be patient, get in line.  Her stomach dropped a bit when making eye contact with some of the girls leaning against the wall, looking her up and down. She suddenly felt self conscious, fat, ugly….. New year’s goal, get down to a size twelve you stupid cow. Smoothing down her tight leather mini-skirt as she shifted in place, she argued with herself, that’s just your mom talking, shut up and love your self, stupid. Then a genius idea struck, and she walked towards the men’s restroom and swung through the door, making eye contact with the solitary man washing his hands.

“Of course there’s no line, s’totally unfair, isn’t it?” She said, winking, he smiled as he left.

The relief was immediate. Hannah sat there in the stall, she had never been so happy to sit and pee quietly in a bathroom. She pulled up her fishnets, arranging herself to leave when she heard the door followed by trousers zipping open. Oh well. Boobs first, Hannah made her way to the sink, grateful for masculine bathroom etiquette, the blonde white guy at the urinal kept his eyes forward while she washed up. She dried her hands, slowly, enjoying the voyeurism of watching him shake, zip up and turn around in the mirror, unaware of her. He stopped and grinned when he noticed her, blue eyes alight with surprise.

“Whooo, hey, what’s a bathroom like you doing in a girl like this?” His voice was gravelly and his eyes laughed, drawing Hannah in, she turned toward him as he twisted the faucet. Hair combed back in a high, messy, casual quiff, his square cheekbones were an invitation. He continued talking, washing his hands, laughter in his voice.

“Either you’re the most convincing drag queen I’ve ever met, or you’re lost….”

Hannah shifted, drawn in by his warm voice, the challenge of his droll banter… she ran her hand through her curly auburn hair.

“I’m just starting the bathroom revolution, baby, if you don’t have to wait in line, neither should we.”

“Ok, Gloria Steinem,” he said slowly, extending the last “nummmm” with a flick of his tongue, mouth open, looking her up and down. A bemused smile curving in his lips. It sent a shiver up her belly and through her chest as she felt the impish tenor of his voice roll over her.  

“Ya know, you actually strike me as the sort of girl who probably spends a lot of time hanging out in men’s restrooms…. checking out the goods…. picking up dates…” 

“Ha!” Hannah’s head flew back, she weaved and steadied herself, leaning further into the counter. “You got me! That’s my plan here.” Emboldened by his smile, she leaned closer and whispered, “Tell me, is it working?” 

He brushed one of her errant curls behind her ear, looking into her eyes, and then at her breasts as they heaved up and down in her low cut silk top. Biting his lip, he dropped to her ear.

“Well, you definitely got my attention.”

The air hitched in Hannah’s throat, his breath was on her neck and she shuddered as butterflies danced through the walls of her vagina. What the fuck is happening? Is he really flirting with you? Ughhh, why are you turned on? He isn’t even your type, he looks like a stock broker…  hot, country club, beautiful yuppie scum… oh fuck it. Maybe it was the warm comfort of being drunk in a low lit room, maybe it was the thrill of being in the men’s bathroom, or maybe it was the way she could still feel the heat of his finger behind her ear. Whatever it was, Hannah broke her rule to never make the first move and drew his head down to her lips. He tasted like beer and smelled like a mix of Jasmine and amber earthiness. 

“Hey there… you’re pretty friendly for a bathroom occupying revolutionary…” he muttered, softly returning her kiss. 

Hannah’s wound her arms around him, pulling him closer.

“Don’t tell anyone but we’re all pretty easy, sex is a….” she smushed her lips against his, tugging him further down as his hands grabbed her ass, lifting her onto the sink.  “… an important part of our militant agenda… ahhh,” she moaned as he sucked at the nape of her neck, hands on top of her fishnets. 

His attention became more intense, returning to her mouth with savage, sloppy kisses, nudging his tongue in and pushing hers down before flicking the tip 

“God… you taste like strawberries…” he whispered, earnest, eager.

“That’s my …ughh… lip smackers…”

Hannah widening her legs as he pushed between them, her skirt riding up as his thumbs traced her inner thigh. She wrapped her legs around him and felt his cock stiffen. He stepped back to catch his breath and her mouth felt swollen, raw, and needy, she longed to feel his strong lips pressing back against her, owning her, compelling her to open up and bring him in. His eyes followed as his left index finger traced down the front of her shirt, slowly, grazing her breast, looking back into her eyes expectantly.

“Hey, let’s slow down….” 

Hannah’s response was dulled by the arousal vibrating between her legs, she bit her lip. 

“Hmmm….wait, what?”

“We should go back out there - dance? ”

“Ummm….”

She took a deep breathe, noting the bulge of his erection as he ran his fingers through his  dirty blonde hair, relishing how his sure hands grabbed her and tenderly lifted her off the counter .

“Unless you want to turn me around and just have your away with me here?”

“Public sex isn’t really my thing.” 

“Ah, you are more of a gentleman than I am, sir, I would have had my way with you right here and now…” Hannah winked, enjoying the blush that spread with his smile as he took her hand. She didn’t recognize herself, talking this way, the words just stumbled out of her mouth

“C’mon.” Something in Hannah’s belly curled as he grabbed her hand, his strong grip pulled her to him and she became an extension of his body, fitting neatly into the curve of his armpit, giddy as he looked down at her with a goofy grin on the way to the dance floor.

The music enveloped them as he unfurled her and moved his shoulders, swaying his hips to the sounds of Siousxie and the The Banshees. She turned and backed into him, moving in rhythm, lifting her arm to pull his mouth to her neck, rubbing her ass into his hips, turning back to wrap her hands around his neck. They moved together, awkwardly at first, then relaxing to meld in synchronicity to the beat. The slow, sad opening chords of Duran Duran’s “The Chauffeur” blared out and Hannah leaned into him.

“This is the last call song, it’s bar time.”

“Oh, cool… I need air anyway….”

Hannah moved towards the front door, then felt his hand on her shoulder,  he was nodding toward to the back exit.  Hannah pulled him into her arms as they stumbled into the alley, now he was walking her back to the brick wall across from the club, behind a set of dumpsters. She leaned into the cold surface, feeling its uneven rough ridges through the back of her thighs. The sharp sensation arousing her even more.

“What’s your name, anyway?” She asked.

“Austin…”

She whimpered as he kissed her, shallow at first and then deeply, slowly, his hands pressed on either side of her.

“I’m…. Hannah….”

“Hannah…..that’s my favorite name….”

“Liar….. “

“It wasn’t before tonight… but right now it’s… “ he kissed her neck, “the only name…” he kissed her clavicle, ”I wanna know….”

He paused, stepping back and taking a joint out. Hannah looked him over, like her, he was dressed head to toe almost entirely in black, punctuated by a metallic dark blue dress shirt that blended in with the rest in the darkness. The contrast made his blonde hair and lightly tannned skin all the more radiant. His bright blue eyes shone with lust as he lit up the joint and inhaled. Hannah reached over, taking it without asking, looking into his eyes intently as she leaning up to shot gun the smoke into his open lips.  Austin’s fingers traced the side of her cheek, down her jaw. 

“You are pretty cute, you know… for a sharp tongued broad who likes to harass men in the john.”

Hannah’s eyes sparkled as she gasped a “ha,” but he could see that his fingers  flustered her. Austin liked the idea that he was making her blush, making her speechless, smirking as her lips hung apart. The look of pure, unadulterated desire on her face made his cock hard, it had been at half mast since they left the bathroom. Her brown eyes looked up at him with awe, not demanding attention, not  expecting anything, she looked genuinely thrilled just to be there, standing in his shadow and fooling around. It had been a long time since he was with a woman who didn’t seem to demand constant flattery and praise. Austin looked back into her eyes, they seemed unsure, playful, innocent, an effect heightened by how hard she was trying to seem confident and experienced, grabbing the joint out of his hand in mock defiance. He lost himself watching her, wondering what it would be like to taste her as he took it back and sucked in another hit, savoring the strawberry lip balm that lingered on the tip of the joint. His left hand moved into the wall as he hovered over her, smiling down at Hannah. He was torn between a primal desire to protect and care for her, and pillage every orifice. The tenor of her voice and the way she seemed almost overwhelmed by their closeness on the dance floor gave him the impression she didn’t do this sort of thing with strangers often.

“So….Hannah…. nice to, uh,  meet you …” 

She smiled, a blush returning to her cheeks as her eyes fell to the ground, her hips falling further against the wall. Austin inhaled and held her chin up so he could now shotgun the smoke into her mouth. Her eyes answering his unspoken question by pressing her hands on his shoulders as she held in the hit for a few seconds, her forehead now grazing his, their noses touching. The sensation was intensely intimate, and Hannah’s expression shifted to a challenging smile as she took the joint back from him once again. Austin felt a bolt of electricity go up his spine and settle at the base of his skull, his whole body buzzed. He was transfixed, unable to break eye contact as his fingers moved up and down the voluptuous, soft curves of her hips. He loved the way her body welcomed his hands, warm, pleasant, comforting, he wanted to submerge himself into her plush bosom. His thought of his last girlfriend, all tight skin and bones, a sharp edged bird. 

Hannah’s dark curls bobbed up and down like her tits, Austin couldn’t help touching them. He pulled on a curl, watching intently as it sprang up and down, then doing the same experiment with her right breast, caressing beneath it and then lifting it up to watch it bounce. He could spend hours just watching the buoyancy of these tits heave above him. He leaned in, now his lips were again on her neck, his hands moving down her thighs, a moan escaping her mouth through the rich, exhale of smoke. She threw the joint on the ground, hands moving under his jacket, as Austin traced up her thighs. His fingers moved up her skirt, almost absentmindedly, seeking out the warmth inside her panties and between her legs. Hannah arched into him as his fingers lightly grazed the public hair at her entrance, looking up she saw uncertainty in his eyes.

“Is this ok?” His voice was low, cracked, his mouth parted. 

She nodded and he kissed along her jaw, moving  into the base of her neck, then her ear, his fingers delving between her and slowly, carefully, yet purposefully, stroking up and down over her clit, finding the moisture and using the slick to rub her in rhythm with her hip as it thrust forward. He joined her, rutting against her leg, gently sliding his index finger lower, into her cunt, gasping as he worked the tight clench, using his thumb to follow her moans, noting how she trembled most when he thumbed a half circle along the left side of her nub. She became slippery and soft, opening for him, her hands around his back, she moaned into the alley, her back rubbing against the rough bricks behind her with abandon. Shiny, black sequins from her blazer spiraled to the ground.  Austin stopped nibbling her ear, shifting above her, looking into her eyes.

“You are….. so beautiful,”  His cheeks flush, his thumb flicking back and forth, Hannah moaned out as he pushed his middle finger into her now.

“Don’t do that.” She said, looking up at him.

“Does that hurt?” He asked, pulling his second finger out, maintaining his slow, rhythmic flex.

“No, I mean what you said. Don’t talk …like that. Don’t lie to me, don’t say cheesy things because you think I need them… I don’t… I… ughh…. I don’t want you to be nice to meEEeee…”

Austin’s smiled as he felt her shudder, unable to stop her voice from trembling under his touch. Then he considered what she had said, his brows furrowing as he stopped fingering her. 

“Hey.” He moved her hand to his cock, hard and protruding through his trousers. His voice was low but firm. “I don’t like it when people tell me how I feel, or what to say…. Feel that? I’m not here saying things to be nice… you turn me on. I think you are beautiful… and I don’t care if you agree, honestly…”

She looked up at him, her large brown eyes serious. “I just can’t take it when men are…  nice to me.” She kissed his chin, her hand slowly rolling over his member. “I want you to be mean, be rough…hurt me…” 

Austin shook his head, his thumbs flicking over her nipples as he glided his hands over her breast.

“What… so you would prefer me to call you like… an ugly slut while I pound you into oblivion?”

Hannah nodded.

“Mmhmmmm.”

Austin’s bit his lip as she moved her hand, continuing to rub the outline of his cock and then pulling on his belt.

His left hand went to the base of her throat, tightening a little, then releasing as she paused.

“Sorry baby, mean and rough ain’t my thing…” he turned her around, slowly, and pressed her against the wall, she felt the cold brick against her cheek as he lips warmed her shoulder, sucking and nibbling as he slowly rolled her skirt up. Hannah gasped, moaning into the bricks, as Austin spoke, his words punctuated by each kiss to her neck. 

 “If you want me to fuck you... you’re going to have to take me….  Nice and slow…”

He arched his eyebrow as Hannah looked over her shoulder at him and nodded in assent.

“Yeah, ok pretty boy…  fuck me then….  Do you, uh, have a condom?”she asked, trembling. Hannah had never had a man treat her this way, it was the most baffling sensation, he asserted his dominance while seeming reverential. She hadn’t been with anyone since Eddie, her last serious boyfriend, and he was punishing in bed, taking pleasure in degrading her as he punched through her like a jack hammer. She felt all the blood go to her core as Austin promised to fuck her slowly, and she throbbed for him even more.

The need in her eyes made Austin momentarily unable to talk, just nod, grabbing his wallet and pulling out a condom, relief washing over him that there was one because he hadn’t planned on having sex tonight. He looked around, briefly brought out of lust’s heady daze of to put his wallet away, condom wrapper in mouth. He glanced down the alley, ensuring they were alone, even somewhat hidden from the back of the club behind the dumpsters. However, he knew anyone walking by would catch them, and the prospect both terrified and excited him. Looking back towards Hannah, he realized she was watching him ardently as he undid his trousers, letting them slide to the ground, shoving his briefs down and rolling the rubber on.

Testes pulled up in the cool night air, Austin leaned into Hannah for warmth, kissing the cushy softness of her ass, lowering her panties, swearing out with a whispered apology as he accidentally ripped her fishnets, he was so eager,  hurriedly sparked on by the arousal building in his stomach at the sight of her plump, heart shaped bottom. His hand cupped the softness and then slapped it gently, the pliant give of her cheeks tightening his erection as he halted at her entrance and slowly nudged forward, finding it still somewhat tight, yet also slick and welcoming. As he hesitated, Hannah pushed back on to him.

“I said fuck me pretty boy…” 

Austin let out a half laugh that turned into a moan as he reveled in her snug, inviting pussy, moving cautiously as he felt her soften and stretch.

“Does this feel ok?”he asked in her ear, and she nodded.

“Harder.” She called out, looking over her shoulder, seeing his mouth open in silent concentration as he surged gently into her again.

“Like I said, don’t…  tell me….” He kissed her shoulder, and grabbed her more firmly at the hips “….what do to….”

He plunged back into her, taking care to remain slow, steady, controlled, savoring how her soft hips moved back to meet him with each forward movement, never fully leaving her warm cunt as he burrowed deeper and deeper, opening her further up to him with every thrust. His right hand moved from her waist to her shoulder, as he pushed her harder against the rough surface of the wall without realizing it, fixated on kissing her neck, then just on breathing as he began to pump into her with slightly more force and speed.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He growled into her ear, she moaned back loudly, then his head fell forward into her back.

“Mmhmmm….. oh god….”

“Hey, let me know when you are close, ok?” He panted.

Hannah gasped, heaving. Just tell him, tell him, you don’t cum during sex… But she couldn’t, she didn’t want to discourage him, ruin the mood, stop him from continuing his steady thrusts that felt so good she planned to think of them later, alone, touching herself. So she nodded, gasping out “Okkkk…”

Austin pushed her further into the wall, increasing his rhythm.

“Ughhh, let me know if I’m hurting you, ok…?”

“No… this is good, I’m umMM… good” she said meaning it, but followed with a lie. “I’m getting close.”

His head fell into her back and he kissed her blazer. Her rough, scratchy, sequined blazer. He kissed it over and over again, as he grabbed at her side, her waist, her neck, his other hand pushing the wall over her shoulder for balance. Hannah felt the pebbly indentation of the bricks gouging into her own hands, too distracted by the pummel of him inside her to notice the pain. Desperate moans escaped her lips, she focused on the crush of Austin’s frame into her, shuddering as she pushed backwards into his insistent lunge. Reveling in the sensation of his hands brushing away the hair at her neck to kiss her, the rhythm of his cock plunging into her, the sounds of his breath, the firm yet considerate lilt of his voice. She moaned out loudly, trying to summon the sound of convincing orgasm, leaning back into him, and crying out. 

He followed a few minutes later with his own exclamation, breathing out a succession of “oh gods” in a low, frantic howl, heaving in and out several more times, then grabbing her hips to stop, extracting himself gently, holding her at her waist, kissing her neck one last time. Hannah leaned forward against the wall, catching her breath as she heard him tie off the condom and throw it over the top of the dumpster, then zip up his pants. His sweet, steady manner was jarring in comparison to her previous lovers. The ache of the rough, sharp bricks against her face and hands suddenly begin to set in, but her legs wobbled slightly and she leaned back to the wall to steady herself, a few after shock twitches as she tried to move. He took off his jacket and used it to wipe between her legs, carefully bringing her underwear and most of her stockings back over her bum as lightly as he could, smoothing her skirt down. Hannah rolled against the wall to turn around, still panting, and took in the satisfied, foolish grin on Austin’s face.

“Hey…” he murmured, his lips pursed together as they curled, his fingers brushing her hair out of her face, taking her hand, kissing the back of her wrist. “This is… crazy…I’ve… I’ve never done anything like this.”

Hannah inhaled deeply, tucking her shirt in.

“What, sex in public?”

“Yeah, s’not really my thing. And with a stranger. A crazy one who tried to make me hate fuck her….”

Hannah’s cheeks reddened.

“Yeah… I usually can’t get it up for nice guys… right? Ugh, gag me with a spoon….  I just don’t go in for the ‘oh baby you’re so beautiful’ routine….”

“Too bad, because baby…. you are so beautiful…”

“Just stop … ”

“What’s your deal?”

“Look, I know I’m ok, maybe cute, but I can’t stand it when guys exaggerate… I’m no super model... I actually have one in my family…. so I know what beautiful is…”

“Well… I’ve dated girls like that… Trust me, they ain’t all they’re cracked up to be. Petty, dramatic, high maintenance, no sex drive because they are STARVing? No…  I actually think I prefer having something soft to hold onto… ” He leaned down to kiss the top of her cleavage.

Despite her best efforts to stay cool and aloof, a genuine smile beamed through Hannah’s face as she swatted him away from her boobs and guffawed.

“Stop.”

Austin paused, leaning above her, blazer slung over his shoulder. Hannah eyed it, thinking how he used it to wipe away her sweat and slick, how much it would cost to dry-clean. Although, something about Austin gave her the impression he didn’t worry about dry-cleaning bills. He probably grew up in a big, expensive house, going to private schools, belonging to a country club. Suddenly self conscious, she wiped under her eyes.

“I must look like a mess…”

“A beautiful mess…”

“Ok, seriously, stop… you’re the beautiful one, pretty boy, really…”

Hannah soaked in the warmth of his breath, and trembled looking up into his eyes. He searched her face, an inquisitive look spreading he glanced down the alley.

“Hey, let’s go back to your place.”

“What? Why? I don’t even know you….”

A “ha!” escaped Austin’s mouth, floating up into the dark Christmas Eve sky. “Are you kidding me ? I was just inside you…”

“Well…”

“Look, I’m staying with a friend who lives down the street… we can’t go back there, I actually came here because he was fighting with his girlfriend… So we’re going back to your place… I’m not finished with you yet.”

“What?”

“You didn’t cum…Tell me I’m wrong?”

She stuttered. “It doesn’t matter, we both had fun…”

“ ‘It doesn’t matter…’ is definitely a no… “

“You don’t owe me anything…. It’s late, and I’m actually" Hannah stopped as a yawn escaped her lips “ quite tired…”

His lips turned into a mischievous smile. “I do owe you, and I always settle my debts… I might be more of a feminist then you are… female orgasms are my favorite…” He raised his fist and pumped it to the sky, laughing at her eye roll.

“OK,” he continued, “This is ridiculous, shut your pretty face and let’s go already.” 

Austin winked as he whisked her next him, putting his arm around her as he walked them down to the end of the alley and into a cab. 

———

A simple framed poster for Some Like it Hot in Italian greeted Austin as he followed Hannah into her small, second story studio apartment awash in film posters, art, dirty coffee cups and empty beer cans.

“It’s a mess, sorry, when I’m not working I’m sleeping…. Can I make you some tea?” She asked, an anxious energy in her voice as she turned around, slipping off her shoes and blazer. Grabbing a hair clip from the kitchen bar that clearly doubled as a filing cabinet, rolodex and table, Hannah pinned up her sweaty, curly hair. 

He shook his head. “So, what do you do? You know… when you aren’t seducing men in alleys?”

“Ha! You are fucking hilarious… that was also my first time doing anything like that…” 

She grabbed his hand as he tried to pull her back into an embrace, turning to the sink, filling a glass with water.

 “I’m an editor….  film editor…. I’m working a few so-so jobs right now but.. I’m working on my networking skills…”

“Oh, so you're in the biz?”

“Yeah… yeah… you?”

“Yeah, actually, I’m an actor..”

“No... no! You seem too nice for an actor… too smart…”

“What exactly is that supposed to mean?”

“Everyone knows actors are just empty vessels… vain stupid empty vessels…  they are the worst…. I’ve never met one who wasn’t a complete asshole. Think they’re the most important part of a movie… don’t understand the real artistry is the invisible stuff….”

“Like editing?” He grinned.

“Yes! Editing, writing, sound, camera work… everything else! Editing makes the movie… s’what puts the story together, otherwise it would 100s of hours of different takes out of order…. All actors have to do is show up and let other people dress them and do their hair and feed them their lines…. Ugh, I hate actors.”

Austin grabbed Hannah and pulled her onto his lap as he sat on her orange, leather arm chair, the only place he could see to relax, and kissed her with a smile.

“Ok, ok, I give in, you win, actors are slime and editors are unappreciated artistes…”

She put her arms around his neck.

“Hmm, see, you are smart…. For an actor… So, Austin, you been in anything I would have heard of?”

“Not unless you’ve been watching a lot of NYU student films….”

“Oh no, you’re not still in college, are you?”

“No, I graduated last year, just been living in New York, going out on auditions, I’ve had a few bit parts off broadway…”

“Anything promising.” She watched his face light up.

“Yeah, actually…” he looked down coyly, “I just scored a part in Sydney Pollack’s next movie, I’m moving back out here for it. My agent said its already opening up more  auditions… s’really exciting, actually…”

Hannah paused, her hand ran through his hair.

“Wow, Austin…  Pollack, good for you…. Wait, you said you are moving ‘back’?”

“Yeah, I actually grew up in Anaheim….”

“Oh no, you’re an actor AND you’re from Orange County?” She leaned into his neck all mock agony.

“What? What’s wrong with Orange County?”

“Everything… I know all I need to know…  next you’re gonna tell me you voted for Reagan… wait, don’t….”

“What’s wrong with Ronald Reagan” he laughed, taking her head in his hands and kissing her nose. “You are such a fucking fuss budget, you crack me up….” Drawing her head next to his, mussing her hair, looking up at the art on her wall, absentmindedly kissing her forehead.

Hannah embraced the pleasant comfort of Austin’s arms, looking at his profile, noticing the way his hair seemed to fall into a disheveled coiff yet still seemed effortlessly sexy. I’m lucky I met you before you were in a movie… who knows the next time you’ll have a one night stand with an average girl…. She flicked the bottom of his earlobe, and he turned toward her. 

“Wanna fool around?” He asked her and she gently slapped the side of his cheek with her hand.

“Don’t you get tired? It’s almost 4 … we should set up the bed…. I probably smell amazing,” sarcasm dripped from her tongue. “But honestly I can’t be arsed to shower.”

Austin moved his hands underneath her knees and around her shoulder, lifting her up, smelling her crotch, armpits, hair as she giggled and shrieked.

“Smell fucking amazing… you smell like fun….”

Hannah jumped up, extending her hand to lead him to bed. Which was standing upright on the wall of the living room.

“Wow, a Murphy bed? I’ve never actually seen one of these in-person…”

“Yeah, they don’t have these in Orange County, do they? I’m guessing my apartment could fit into one of your mansion’s bathrooms…” He shoved her shoulder with a ha ha ha as she kept talking. “This apartment was built in the ‘30s. It’s small, but it’s all I can afford and it’s only 15 minute over the hill into Burbank.”

“Oh, are you working at Warner?”

“No, I’m free lancing it, I’m at a little post house, we do a lot of Disney’s stuff…”

“Wow, look at you….” An expression of respect formed on his face as he watched her pull the bed down. He knew a few editors from his program at NYU, they were all dudes. Every editor he’d ever heard of was a dude. His own brief experience learning basic editing in a required class had shown him how much he detested that kind of work, he was not cut out for the grinding, thankless schedule of postproduction and the patient attention to detail it demanded.

“The sheets are dirty —“

“S’all good with me —“

“I guess I should change…”

Austin moved toward her, she froze in silence as his hands slowly untucked her shirt and lifted it over her head as she shifted, a nervous laugh startling out of her throat. She looked up at him, dazzled by his attention, soaking in his reverence as the back of his fingers trailed over her naked belly, turning her around as he kissed her back and unclasped her bra. Throwing it to the side, he turned his attentions to unzipper her skirt, bring her back to face him as he pulled her skirt down with her fishnets and panties to the floor, kissing the smooth skin over her plump belly,settling on his knees to lift her feet one-by-one as he gently took her clothes off. He drew her down to the edge of the bed, looking into her eyes.

“There, I think you’re ready for bed…..”

“Ha….” She said, almost breathless, pushing up on his shoulders. “I need to brush my teeth…” she patted him on the head, ambling to her little bathroom, looking back over her shoulder to see him watching after her naked bottom with a happy, dazed look on his face.

——-

12:05 p.m.  Friday morning, (Technically it had been afternoon for six minutes)  December 25, 1987

It was when Austin tossed into her and began snoring on the top of her head that Hannah woke up, finding his left hand cupping her breast from under her shirt. She lay there for ten minutes, enjoying the cozy warmth of his body as it spooned into her. The hard dagger of his morning wood jabbing in her ass made her sizzle, she hadn’t even really gotten a good look at it in the dark, but she knew it was a girthy bugger from slight soreness that lingered between her legs. His embrace was wonderful, but she couldn’t bear Austin’s snoring, it got increasingly louder and made her cracking hangover unbearable. How the fuck can someone so hot make these unholy sounds? Despite her best efforts to disentangle herself without waking him, she saw his eyes blink open as she held his arm, hesitating to find the best place to put it. His hand grasped hers and kissed the back of her palm, groggy, half asleep, he rubbed his eyes.

“Hey…. beautiful…” a sunny smile greeting her as he gathered her from behind back into his arms, smushing his lips into the curve of her neck.

“Hmm…. beautiful, huh…  forget my name?” She asked, turning inward to look at him with a teasing grin. He planted a strong peck on her lips. 

“Oh Hannah, I wasn’t that drunk… you know athletic activity helps keep the mind alert when drinking…” Austin wiggled his eye brows.

“Oh it does, huh? That is some bullshit…”

He smiled as he kissed her again, now hovering over her, her hips sideways against him. The unmistakable bulge of his cock against her ass. 

“It does…. I remember everything….. so, why are you so feisty this morning?” He said, gazing at her breasts. “Oh, right, now I remember… I still owe you a —"

“Austin ha! No… you don’t owe me anything—“

He put his finger to her mouth.

“Shhhhh….  Trust me, I’ve slept with more women than you, most girls don’t cum during sex… at least at first with me … ” he winked, his lips returning to their home on her neck.

“Oh? And how many women are we talking about here? What’s your sample size?”

Austin sighed, and stopped moving his hand up her thigh, settling back and leaning into her shoulder, his hands snaking around to grasp her tightly.

“Do you really want to know?”

“What do you mean?”

“How many?”

“I was just questioning your research methods,” Hannah turned to kiss his cheek, looking up into his eyes, a nervous laugh escaping “I’m just joking around….  I don’t know anything about you, I don’t know your last name, I don’t know how old you are…  last night was fun but…I’m a big girl, I know how this ends….  I don’t expect you to share your ...” she kissed his chin and flicked hair out of his eyes “... life history with me.” Hannah kissed him on his lips, and rolled over to get up. He pulled her back to him.

“Hey! Where do you think you are going… “

“To make coffee?”

“Oh no you don’t… ” he leaned in to kiss her again, barely detaching his mouth to mutter in-between soft, sloppy pecks to her lips. “My last name is Butler,” smush, “I’m 23,” smish, “I don’t do a lot of one night stands…." smash “I’m kind of a serial monogamist…” smosh “I’ve had … let’s see … three serious girlfriends …” smush, “and a handful of on-again-off-again casual relationships…a few one-time things, ” smash, “but I actually like good sex…” smosh, “and I find sex is just better when you get to….” smush, “know someone’s body…” he finished with a wink, brushing his fingers along her face. Each kiss sent a bolt of electricity down Hannah’s spine, and she sighed when he stopped, running her index finger lazily along his bare shoulder.

“Do you know how many people you have slept with? Like ever?“

“Probably around 25… counting everything… Do you? Do you keep a list or just use a bathroom turnstile or what?” Hannah let out a laugh, and shoved him as he grinned, kissing her neck, and working his way lower, trying to lift off her shirt. Flames ran up through her torso but she swatted him away. Folding his arms on top of her belly, he rested his head and looked up at her.

“Your turn….” He slapped her thigh. “Full name?”

“Hannah… Rosenfeld…. 24… Leo….  two serious boyfriends … I’ve probably slept with about 10 people, total.”

“And how many of them made you cum?”

Hannah looked up at him, blushing, and turned to talk into the pillow.

“I can’t talk about this with someone I only just met…”

She rolled off and went to the kitchen area. Austin pushed up in bed and watched her. 

“Why not? It’s perfectly normal and natural.”

Hannah looked at him over the kitchen counter as she filled her kettle with water. 

“It’s…  it’s complicated …”

Austin got up and walked over, taking the kettle out of her hands, gliding his fingers up and down her sides. Hannah quivered, leaning back into the counter, hands pushed against the hard laminate surface, she breathing louder and louder as his fingers moved to her panties, his muscular abs grazing over her breasts, his mouth hovering over her ear as he spoke softly, deeply.

“S’not complicated…”

He kissed under her ear, his hands worked inside her underwear, brushing over her, before moving down on his haunches to take them off, kissing the soft woolly patch at the apex of her legs. Hannah gasped as he rose and grabbed her by the waist, hoisting her up on the counter as she snorted.

“Austin..” She hit his arm. “What are you doing?”

He shushed her, putting his fingers into her mouth, and then bringing them between her folds. Hannah felt a tension building in her stomach, her chest began to ache and she inhaled deeply as he parted her thighs wide, a serious look on his face as he returned to her eyes.

“Just …relax….”

“But I ——“

His lips were soft as he kissed her, stroking the flame that was growing in her core, feeling the wetness that was developing.

“Please…I fucking love doing this….” 

Hannah gasped and nodded, watching him lower himself onto the floor, the thought that his quads were incredibly strong for someone so skinny passed through her mind. It was quickly gone as she heard him moan approvingly, fingers parting her outer lips.

“Good, you are so damn beautiful…” 

She laughed, vibrating at the way he enunciated each syllable in bee -ut - a - fulll. Playfully slapping the side of his head, they exchanged a lusty glance as he looked up at her with a devious smile, then resumed his attention to her pussy. Hannah’s eyes squeezed shut and she fell back on her elbows as Austin leaned forward kissing her inner thighs, enjoying the whimpers emerging from her mouth as he rubbed her center with his thumb. Making his way in, one soft kiss at time, he put her legs over his shoulders and opened her further with his hands.  

He smiled as her back arched and bit his lip, then leaning in to flick her lightly with his tongue, back and forth. The sensation was almost too intense on her clit, and Hannah called out in-between moans, embracing the tingling feeling growing in her depths as he moved the tip of his tongue in circles around her. Burrowing further, he nudged her clit up and down with his nose as he kissed and laved her entrance, then turned back to her pulsating round nub. Hannah called out indecipherable words as his tongue darted up and down the left side of her clit, long and slow, then shifting to lick across in quick, short staccato movements. She twitched as she felt the warm breath of his mouth on her nub, then thrusting forward as his right index finger slide into her and crooked up, gently swirling until Hannah jolted up with a cry. Austin paused and looked up at her, finger inside her but stilled.

“Uh, yeah… I just ….”

“Hmmm…. I feel like Columbus, did I just discover Hannah’s G spot…?”

“Columbus was a genocidal ….” She breathed out, chest heaving. “maniac….  But…. I do think you are …on to something…”

Austin laughed, and Hannah smiled at his blissed out eyes and goofy smile, his chin covered in her slick.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No…” she whispered.

“What was that?”

“No please god….. don’t stop…. Don’t ever stopppp” Hannah called out, trembling as she felt the hum of his self satisfied laugh against her clit, the feel of his index finger pushing in and out of the spongy, soft bundle of nerves inside her walls caused her to spasm uncontrollably. The more slippery she became, the more acutely she felt each stroke of Austin’s pointed tongue beckoning her into oblivion. The contrast between the light flicks of his tongue and the firm, forceful movements of his fingers drove her over the edge. A heat began to violently develop inside her core and Hannah screamed out as euphoric wave after wave spread through her pussy outward to her thighs and up through her belly button. Austin continued to press her clit gently with his thumb as he fell back on his shins, enraptured by the way her face contorted into a look of painful ecstasy.

“Uhhh. Stop…. Enough… I can’t ….” 

He laughed, gripping her thighs as he stood, wiping her dampness along his wrist, kissing her, stroking the sides of her legs. Hannah faltered trying to push up on her elbows against the counter, her arm hit the faucet, splashing water on them and into the sink. Austin stood between her as she pushed it off, stroking her thighs.

“Oh god…” she wiped her brow, tasting herself on his lips with a soft kiss.

“You ok?”

“Mmmhmmm….”

A soft, sweaty glow radiated across Hannah’s face, she grinned at the stiffness of Austin’s cock against her thigh. She worked his briefs down, glancing up to see the fierce need within his eyes, his lip parted as she brought him to her entrance at the edge of the kitchen counter, inhaling as he sunk into her slowly, feeling the pinch, the soreness from last night all but gone. He stopped, not moving as she thrust up into him. Austin gasped sharply, his length fully within her. His hands at her hips, he moved his right hand up to cup her face.

“Hey… I don’t have any more condoms.” He said, thrusting back slowly, and then forward a little, moaning. “Ahhh god, you feel so amazing…. But … we should stop.” 

Hannah leaned back, arms over his shoulders, uttering a frustrated grunt.

“I definitely don’t have any condoms either… fuck… you could just pull out… “ she offered, bringing him back into her, arching her hips into him, relishing the sound of his “fuckkkkk” as he stretched her open.

“Are you on the pill?”

She shook her head, “No, I just got off in August… dry spell… figured I’d just use condoms and go back on if I started dating someone… fuck…” She didn’t share the real reason, how she thought it would be easier to loose weight off the pill. She didn’t want to break whatever spell made this handsome, too handsome, man think she was fuckable.

“OK, yeah… let’s stop… I gotta go to a Christmas thing…. and fuckkk… ok…. we should .. definitely stop… ” 

“Hmm… I don’t… want … to either… but … I have ... same …”

Austin paused, just standing there, still buried to the hilt in Hannah. He kissed her, deepening with each one, tightening his embrace as Hannah whimpered. He looked down into her eyes.

“I want to see you again.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow?”

“I have a thing…”

“After?”

“Maybe….”

“Take you out… like on a date….”

“Ok.” Her voice was soft and breathy.

He pulled out of her, slowly, evincing a deep moan.

“I’m going to go buy the biggest box of condoms….” He promised, smiling into her with another kiss.

Hannah laughed, putting her hand around his dick, feeling her slick lubricating him as she tugged.

“I could still get you off?” She offered, puckering her mouth with a loud POP.

He looked over at the clock, it was 1:30.

“Fuck, god… but… ughhhh…. its ok… I’m a big boy… and I gotta jet,  I have two different parties I have to go to, and I’m already gonna be late…”

Hannah traced the ridges of the corded muscles along his abs, nodding, knowing she also needed to shower and get ready for her day. He helped her off the counter, kissing her, and  moving to find his clothes.

“So, what are you up to? Rosenfeld…. does your family celebrate Christmas?” Austin was on the ground looking for his pants.

“My uncle does, for his wife, they’re having a big party.” She leaned into the sink, watching as he searched for his clothes, now sitting on the bed, buttoning his shirt, pulling on trousers.

“Oh, do you have a big family?”

“No… he just knows a lot of people…. It’s just me and my dad here in LA…. ”

“Ohh… “ he smiled, as he bent to pull on his black slip on shoes. “Your pop meeting you there?”

Hannah shifted, running her hand through her hair.

“Um, no, he and my uncle don’t really talk….  s’a long story…. the short version is,  my dad’s an editor too… like a sound editor, he and my uncle started out together, my uncle’s a ... uh... a producer… they both came out here, found some success… and, well, about twelve years ago my uncle agreed to invest in my dad’s business idea, a full service sound design company … then.. well, my aunt convinced him not to at the last minute.. the whole thing kind of tore our family up….”

Hannah inhaled, and stopped talking. She didn’t tell him how her father had dealt with the devastation of defaulting on his loan by drinking. Heavily. How her mom ran off to San Francisco and then back to London, to her family, to get away, leaving 12 year old Hannah there. Which was ok, if she’d had to choose, she had always been closer to her father anyway. But things got messy, her father had made the horrible decision to restart his life buying a trailer in Malibu, in a small, unofficial retirement park full of nosy old people. Hannah had to transfer from her crunchy, alternative artsy private school to Santa Monica High, the nearest public school to where they now lived. Suddenly her commute to school went from 10 minutes to an hour, and that was probably the easiest part of high school. Pot, ice cream, music and her small coterie of friends had made survival possible until she escaped to college. Things were better now, her dad was three years sober in AA, working intermittently, though mainly non-union, TV and straight to video stuff. Hannah longed to buy him a big house, set him up, let him rest, he had been grinding for thirty years. She wanted to free him, help her father move on from his disappointed, disoriented life adrift these last ten years. Hannah stopped, feeling she had overshared.

She took in Austin’s look of warm sympathy, his low “Oh… wow…”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to get heavy… but.. no, I won’t see him today… we have a tradition, we swim in ocean at dawn on New Year’s day, so I’ll drive out to his place in Malibu and see him then…. But, uh, yeah, I like started trying to mend things with my uncle about two years ago.. ha…. You know, after I graduated from UCLA and started looking for work…. My uncle is a producer… I guess I am shamelessly trying to use him….”

Austin walked over, putting his hands around Hannah.

“That’s how this business is, I’d do the exact same thing - you have to use every advantage you have, because it’s not about how good you are…. It’s about who you know…”

————

5 p.m. 

The sounds of the party downstairs floated up to the guest room where Hannah had snuck off to call her friend Sara, excitedly running through the events of the last 24 hours.

“It’s like, a Christmas miracle babe… I might actually start liking this fucking holiday… When can you get away? Come meet me here, and we can go get a drink at Barney’s… I wanna hear all about Rod Todd.”

“Yes…. It’s definitely Todd, and I don’t think my night was as exciting as your’s… Give me another hour or so and I’m there…” Sara promised. 

Hannah smiled, she had been grinning all day, hearing Austin’s voice every where she went. If she squeezed her legs she could almost imagine feeling him between them as he asked to see her again, his hard length still inside her. She straightened her white blouse walking downstairs, she even smiled at the sound of the Vienna boys choir as she ordered a glass of red wine at the bar, nodding and making small talk with some of the other people there. The guests were mostly from Paramount where her uncle was Vice President of Development, but there was an assortment of people from other studios, talent agencies, competitors and random acquaintances. Right now, Hannah was learning how her uncle’s accountant had walk-on roles in several films last year. Hannah guessed over a hundred people were wandering around the party throughout the downstairs and back yard of her aunt and uncle’s vast Bel Air mansion. 

A caterer walked by with bacon wrapped scallops, and Hannah had only popped one her mouth when her younger cousin Nathan ran up and grabbed her hand.

“Mfph… caor-ful nat-tin,” she swallowed, steadying. “Wheww, I almost spilled my wine.”

“Mom said to come find you, Sloan just arrived with her boyfriend, she wants a family photo.”

“Ok, ugh, how do I look?” Hannah asked, brushing off Nathan’s hand as she followed him to the front of the house. “Oh, how much of an arrogant douche is this one?”

“I can’t tell, he looks like he could go other way..”

Hannah laughed and then stopped in her tracks as they rounded the hallway, the air left her throat and she jumped back, startled, her hand jerking back and spilling red wine all over her white blouse, her purse dropping to the ground.

“FUck fuck fuck…” she whispered, as she bent down to grab it. You are insane, every where you go, every voice you hear, you think it’s fucking Austin. But as she stood up, she saw Austin’s horrified face looking back at her, her thin, gorgeous cousin Sloan hanging on his arm. Her model cousin Sloan. Her 20 year-old model cousin Sloan. Sloan’s mouth agape in a shocked laugh as her aunt ran over, the British accent made her voice all the more shrill.

“Hannah, oh god, did you get any wine on the carpet? Dear dear, now we’ll have to wait to do the photo… Abe, ABE!  Get Gigi out of the kitchen for me…”

Hannah trembled, putting her glass on the nearest side table, thankful all the wine had spilled on her shirt, and none had landed on the pure, white carpet. She closed her eyes, wishing to be anywhere else as her aunt turned her around and started walking them away from the group, looking back to yell.

“Please excuse me, Austin, it was so nice to see you again. I have to go get my clumsy niece sorted out…  Sloan, show him around, won’t you? We’ll do the photo later….” She moved Hannah forward. “What am I going to do with you, Hannah? I just hope we can find something that fits… maybe one of Abe’s dress shirts… oh, I think I have an oversized holiday sweater that will work.”

Hannah looked at herself in the mirror of her aunt and uncle’s master suite. A large, oversized ugly bright red Christmas sweater dwarfed her body, almost completely covering her blue mini-skirt. She fell back onto the large, soft bed, arms spread, doom enveloping her. She felt the hairspray on her dirty hair crunch. Of course. You knew he was too good to be real. Maybe you imagined last night … maybe he was just a figment of your delusional mind…. ? Wallowing in self pity, the sound of the door disturbed her from her reverie.

“It’s ok, Elaine, I’m coming - I just need a moment…”

“Hannah?” 

She jolted up at Austin’s voice, watching from across the room, arms crossed, eyes glaring as he closed the door.

“Fuck off….”

“Hannah, it’s not what you think.”

“Oh?”

“No, look… Sloan and I broke up last week… she just… I just… she asked if I would come do this one last thing as a couple… it meant a lot not to tell her mom right now… I was gonna be out here anyway…"

Hannah looked down as he strode over, backing away as he tried to embrace her, wiping the tears at her eyes.

“Don’t…”

“Please, don’t be like this… fuck… this is the most unreal fluke … ya guys don’t even have the same last name…”

“We do have the same last name,  Rosenfeld is too ugly for a model, too Jewy, Sloan shortened it to Rose when she moved to New York after high school … ”

“Hannah.” He stepped closer. “C’mon, it was an honest mistake.”

“Ok, so if it’s not such a big deal, why didn’t you mention this morning that you had to pull out of me to go take your ex-girlfriend to her family’s Christmas party? …. It’s all about who you know, isn’t Austin? Tell me. ” Hannah jeered, wiping more tears away. “Is Abe producing the film you’re in?”

Austin growled, fighting off her swats and grabbing her by the shoulders, holding her still. He wanted to choke her and fuck her into submission and comfort her all at once. The fear and anger in her eyes caused him to back off.

“Just stop, ok, you’re not being fair… " he relaxed his grip, Hannah went slack and fell into his arms. “Oh Hannah…  I’m sorry… you’re right… Sloan… we really are broken up… but … it did feel weird meeting up with her... today…. after last night… this is… gnarly…. but I like you…  I still wanna see you again, is that so crazy?” 

He took her by the chin, gently, looking into her face, searching for recognition. Her expression tensed, a stony smile formed as she pushed him away.

“Here’s the thing, Austin. Babe. There’s a girl code. Friends, cousins, their exes are off limits.”

As her feet padded down the stairs, Hannah almost ran out the door as Wham’s “Last Christmas” came over the sound system. Landing with a thud, instead, she stalked over to the bar and ordered two double vodka tonics, downing one after the other, then grabbing a glass of egg nog from the punch bowl and liberally spiked it with rum. Pacing across the room, she saw Austin come down, her mind now racing to form an escape plan, only to disintegrate inside as she watched Sloan approach her, arm around an enthusiastically smiling Sara.

“Hannah, thank god you are all cleaned up, look who I found on the front doorstep?” 

Hannah inwardly groaned, as Sloan waved Austin over, continuing.

“Hey, why don’t we all go downstairs to the den? We might find some snow after all out here in sunny California…” Sloan snaked her other arm through Hannah’s as she tried to protest.

“Hey Sloan, Sara and I have to be some—"

“I don’t mind.” Sara chimed in. 

“Don’t be silly Han Han…. Austin, bring that hot bod over here…” Sloan commanded, leading them around the house to the downstairs den, a dark room with the largest TV in the world. 

No one was around, and Sloan plopped down on the couch, opening her purse to pull out a mirror and a small coin purse, from which emerged a little baggie of white powder. Expertly lining rails of coke, Sloan paused to look up. Austin slowly went over to join her, and Sara sat on her other side.

“Are you partaking Hannie?”

“Is everyone else?”

“Why not…” Sara sighed.

Austin eyes caught Hannah’s, as she nodded. “Then yes, please…”

“What’s with you Hannah, anyway?” Sloan mumbled, rolling up a $100 bill. 

“Hannah met someone last night…” Sara giggled.

“Really?” Sloan arched her eye brow, and snorted two lines, handing it to Austin, who shook his head slightly, muttering why not as he leaned in.

“I don’t really —“

“She really likes him…. What did you say? He was the sexiest guy you ever met? Ever?” 

Hannah shot Sara a dirty look, trying to communicate that she would kill her if she uttered one more word.

“What?”

Walking over, Hannah sat across them below the coffee table, taking two rails up the nose, sniffing hard as the taste hit the back of her throat. 

“I’m so happy for you Han Han…” Sloan turned to Austin, who coughed as she explained, “My cousin has dated some real losers….” 

“That’s not true…” Sara feebly added.

“What happened to Billy from last year?” Sloan asked.

Hannah responded through gritted teeth. “Billy is my very gay, very single, good friend.”

“Oh, well, we were all just glad that psychopath was out of the picture…”

“Psychopath?” Austin murmured. Hannah shot him the look of death, running her hand through her hair, tapping the mirror for Sloan to put more blow out. 

“Eddie.” Sara added, as Hannah formed the powder into more lines, and snorted. “He was the worst, I’m sorry Hannah, but he was.”

Sloan nodded, “Yeah, oh boy… what ever happened to him?”

“His band went on tour with Minor Threat and he cheated on me… what can I say, I seem to attract losers, gays and cheaters.” She raised her eyebrow, looking Austin straight in the eyes, and then stood up.

“So Han Han, still editing The Mickey Mouse Club …?” Sloan swiped more coke out with her finger, smearing it on the inside of her gums.

“I think she’s actually editing all the Disney original TV shows right now, right?” Sara tried to break the awkward silence following Sloan’s condescending tone.

“I think I’m gonna head out, Sara?” Hannah’s voice was curt, Sara nodded, and joined her, a bewildered look as she followed Hannah out to her car. Aunt Elaine never got a family photo that day, and Hannah filled in her friend as they drove to the bar and proceeded to get very, very, very drunk, swearing off men forever.

Forever lasted about five hours.

Hannah left her car in Westwood Village. The second thing she saw after she fell out of her cab, feeling her sheer black stockings rip, badly, as she stared at the pavement laughing at the cruel joke we call life, was a pair of white, leather dress oxfords at the base of white pants. Very similar to the ones Austin had been wearing earlier that day. She heard the cab door close, and an Austin-like voice ask what he owed, before strong hands came under her arm pits and tried to pull her up.

“Fuck off … I’ve got it all unner controllll” she rolled away, laying flat on her back, feet slumped over the curb. Austin walked between her knees, his cool eyes looked down at her.

“I told Sloan about last night.”

Hannah blinked, rolling up on her elbows.

“What? Why would Sloan tell you ’bout last night?”

“You are such an idiot.” Austin sighed, looking up at the stars, laughing to himself and shaking his head as he looked back down at Hannah, drunk, a confused expression hovering above the large Christmas sweater, black tights torn across both thighs, blue mini skirt askew. He mused to himself that it looked like two rats had fought in her hair. The ridiculous spectacle made his cock stir even more, he couldn’t explain why. “Give me your keys, we can talk upstairs.”

Hannah pushed herself up, swatting his hands away, then promptly dropping the keys as they came out of her pocket.

“You gave me bruises, ya know, gonna call you Bruiser…”

“What?” 

“Yeah… s’ its your hips…. Yer too fuckin’ skinny…. I’ve some light bruising on my ass, Ssssara confirmed this for me in the powder room at the skey lub.”

“Ski Club?”

“Klee Clunk”

“Oh, right, the Key Club… oh boy, how many places did you guys hit?”

“Ev’ry place…. And I can’t believe you gave me bruises with your stupid sharp skinny sips…”

“Ok, babe, duly noted.” Austin laughed, shaking his head further, grabbing her keys and sweeping Hannah over him as she started to stumble forward, carrying her up the stairs over his shoulder, getting her cleaning and falling asleep next to her for the second night in a row.

————

January 1988 - July 1989 

It started out casually enough, neither one wanting to ask the other what they were doing, avoiding talking about what this relationship was. In fact, they barely spoke for the first few months, their lips otherwise occupied as they were drawn to each other by the magnetic attraction that only grew in intensity each time they laid eyes on one another. On the first three dates, they couldn’t even get out the door before the graze of an arm over a chest or the kiss of lips saying hello on a cheek would become the catalyst for heaving, sweating, swearing, groaning, primal, squelching, slapping, bruising, choking, senseless, neighbors-banging-on-the ceiling, wall, floor, fucking. Usually followed by a session of panting on the bed, leather chair or kitchen floor, exhausted and conceding that they should just order delivery. And then commanding a repeat performance once their energy returned.

“So…” Austin moaned, in flagrante, after date number two had been derailed by Hannah’s fingers brushing lint off Austin’s sweater.  “Am I really the sexiest man you ever met?”

“Ughhh… shut the fuck up… I was hung over… clearly brain damaged from the alcohol… just be quiet and fuck me, you ugly sod …”

“If I’m so ugly, why’d ughhh… keep me around?”

“Imma a slut for uggos… you’re all so insecure you compensate with that tongue …. *moan*… its the low self esteem….  plus you got me hooked fucking me from behind… didn’t have to see that fucked up mug… ”

Every time Hannah sighed or looked at him with her big doe eyes, his lips would part in awe and his cock would propel him forward, his mouth seeking out her pleasure like a beacon being guided home. Finally they agreed they had to meet in public if they ever wanted to successfully leave her apartment, so he would pick her up at work and take her out, undeterred by her protests that it was too expensive as he arrived at the valet stand in front of Orcini’s, Chinois, The Ivy, her voice raising higher and higher as she argued In-N-Out was just as good.  Austin spent a lot of nights finding new ways to make Hannah’s Murphy bed creak before he found his own place on the Westside, and got settled in a small, modern rental up in the hills.

It was a day in late May, Hannah had just started working on her first feature as an assistant editor, when Austin proposed they stop using condoms. She was sitting on the marble counter of his house, eating chow mien out of the container in a Talking Heads tee-shirt. He was in his briefs. Both exhausted, he’d been shooting his second movie, playing Emilio Estevez’s  younger brother.

“I mean, I’m not seeing anyone else… are you?”

“Well,” Hannah fiddled with the edge of her sleeve, “I’m so busy wrapping this McTiernan picture I really haven’t had time to meet anyone else.”

“Is it any good? I can’t believe they cast Willis, he’s a TV star.”

“I love Moonlighting…”

“Still, is he believable as an action hero?”

“You’re just jealous…. “

Austin took the noodles out of her hand and pulled her into a kiss.

“OK, no more talking about other guys… what do you say? You’re on the pill now, right?”

Hannah nodded.

“OK, I’ll get tested…. You’ll get tested… And voila… ”

She kissed him as he lifted her up, legs wrapping around him while he carried her to the bed room.

Despite her misgivings, Hannah brought Austin out to Malibu for tea at her dad’s trailer. It was a Sunday afternoon, and her heart burst as she watched Austin engage with Avram, not hesitating to talk movies and nodding as her father explained his theories about film school, “waste of time, scholars never make good directors, they’ve got their heads in books,” how Mel Brooks was not funny, “but no one has the balls to tell him the truth.” Austin praised sound editing, particularly dialogue editing, as the most important and unappreciated part of making a movie. And he was particularly gracious every time he tried to tell her father he liked movie he’d worked on.

“Hannah told me you worked on Chinatown, it’s one of my favorite movies…”

“Ughhh, what an awful film,” Avi groaned, frowning, his British accent drew out every vowel. “It had real potential, but Polanksi can’t help himself.”

Hannah stifled her laughter, waggling her eyebrows at Austin as she went to get more biscuits. He jumped up, offering to bring the tea cups in.

“I’ve never met someone with so many strong opinions… about film… and I went to NYU… ”

“My father hates every movie, especially the ones he worked on. I can’t tell you how many times he dragged me out of a movie theatre to walk out of something 30 minutes in.”

“He does know that you and I majored in film, right? When he tells you it is stupid to study film?”

“Yes, he knows that one of us went to the best film school in the country —“

“And the other went to UCLA…” 

“Ha! …. But Austin, my dad started working in this industry when he was 16, a poor Jewish kid from London, he followed his brother and his career to another country, always having to learn on the job. Always having to prove him self, no one to support him. And then everything with my uncle… He is bitter about how the industry is changing, no one ever had to go to film school to break in until the ‘70s…. And in some ways, he’s right, imagine how much more experience we’d have if we hadn’t wasted four years in expensive classrooms…”

Austin introduced Hannah as his girlfriend for the first time at the after party for the Estevez movie premiere. His publicist, Min, was sweet to her face, though she had made Austin promise no public appearances together. He walked the red carpet alone, meeting Hannah inside, where he found Min smiling as Hannah relayed her own editing credits from the year, making a mental note to discuss publicity and relationships with Austin later. 

In their next meeting, Min explained. “You have the potential to be a leading man, Austin, trust me, you do not to be tied down… to an editor? No. Please, trust me, actors are always better dating other actors. Or super models. Or pop stars.”

He brushed it off, explaining it was his private life, and he knew what he was doing. A part of him wondered if being in a committed relationship was wise, fair, good for his career, but those doubts disappeared as he watched Hannah cum on his face the next morning, her dopey smiled sent sparks to stomach, and he pushed up to cover her plush, red lips with his, the taste of her pussy all over his face. Riding her to the hilt and exploding inside of her, Austin shouted “fuckkkk” in rhythm to the sounds of their flesh smacking, filling the empty hillside below his open bedroom window with vulgar noises. That was the day he told her he loved her, pussy drunk, blissed out, nuzzling together in the cosmic afterglow of energetic coitus, endorphins flooding their systems. Austin twisted her hair. 

“Hannah Hannah Bo Bana Banana nana … I think I love you.”

Turning, she kissed the side of his chest, her fingers trailing down his chest.

“I feel it too, Bruiser."

“You should move in.”

“Babe…”

“What? This is the first day we’ve spent together all week. You’re busy. I’m busy. So just move in already. Then at least we can do this everyday.”

But of course, they did not fuck everyday. They didn’t even see each other everyday. Some nights, Hannah would fall asleep on the cutting room floor working for a deadline. Austin had to go to Idaho to shoot a western, and he became close with his co-stars, Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland, returning to LA with a stronger proclivity for nose candy, taking the weeks in-between projects to join his newfound playmates on the club scene. He would call Hannah from the pay phone at whatever bar they went to, asking when she would be there. Telling her he found the perfect alley for their anniversary. Some nights she ventured out, Hannah had always enjoyed feeling music pound through her soul, but she found she didn’t just enjoy getting high every night and she needed the blow to stay up until 4 with them and get to work the next morning. And so, on many nights, Hannah would just collapse at home and wake as Austin came in.

She met his family, briefly, at Christmas 1988. Dinner was small, quiet, just Austin, his father and older sister Ashley in the large dining room of a large, stucco house in Anaheim. Hannah had foregone her usual thick eyeliner and studded black leather jacket, buying an outfit at JC Penneys and wearing her grandmother’s pearl necklace. She hated herself, as she looked in the mirror and asked her self, “Would Nancy Reagan approve?”

She burned the dress in July, as she packed her things and moved out of the Hollywood Hills house. The female voice on the other end of the phone line still reverberated through her head. Austin was shooting on location in Arizona, it was his second leading role.  At first Hannah had questioned whether the hotel operator had connected her to the right room when a women’s voice answered the phone. She paused, thinking carefully.

“Oh, hey, um… is Brian there?”

She could hear the shower running in the background, and then Austin’s distinct voice shout out.

“Don’t answer the phone!”

The mystery women giggled, then spoke into the receiver.

“Sorry, no Brian here, you must have the wrong number.”

“Oh, this isn’t room 335?”

“No, 334… Austin, don’t, you’re all wet!”

“I thought I said not to pick up the phone?”

There it was closer, deeper, in the midst of some sort of exertion, was he tickling her? Kissing her?

Hannah’s mind raced and her imagination ran wild as she listened to a commotion of fabric and limbs while the phone receiver dropped to the floor.

Muffled voices continued.

“It was for the room next door… why don’t you want me to pick up the phone?”

“Shut up, just promise me  -" more feminine giggling as he spoke … “you won’t, ok?”

Hannah hung up after that, adrenaline coursed through her veins, and a sharp, nervous ache ran up her tummy and settled at the top of her chest. Pacing through the living room, through the kitchen, and back again, she started shouting at herself.

“Fucking idiot, fucking actors, fucking Orange County, fucking Reagan, ugh, you fucking stupid cow… you can let this go.” She breathed. “You love him. You knew. This was bound to happen. If you were honest with yourself, you knew. You knew. You knew the minute he told you why he had moved out here. Any real relationship would be impossible. But no, you didn’t care, did you? It was fuuuuun. He was hooot. It felt goooood. Losers, gays and cheaters, Hannah. This is as good as it could ever be. You can push it down, smother it, kill your jealousy and take what he gives you.”

She slumped on the ground, banging her fists into the hard wood floor, seeking out it’s cold to temper the crazy, frenetic heat overtaking her body. Now, she was taking a shower, drinking a beer as the water pummeled down. Three beers later, cold, shivering in the empty bathtub, she had convinced herself to just pretend she didn’t know, act like nothing happened, you love him - that is all that matters. 

But then he called her later that night, whispering “Hey Hannah Banana,” into the phone as he always did, his gravelly confident voice exuding fidelity.  She wondered if this was even the first time, she couldn’t tell the difference. He had the same deep timbre, extolling honeyed devotion from Arizona as he told her about his day and laughed at her sarcastic jokes.

Hanging up, hate overtook her. She played with the idea of throwing his stupid record collection down the hill. Sitting in indecision for five days, she knew she had to make up her mind about what she would do. He was due to come home in a week. At night, she forced herself to picture him fucking someone else, an anonymous mystery woman didn’t seem real enough, so she pictured Sloan, sucking his dick, riding him on top, crying out his name as he devoured her pussy. Hannah was so anxious she could barely eat, subsisting on coffee and digestives for the next few days. Her whole body trembled through a meeting with the director Joel Schumacher,  and Mike, the supervising editor shifting to stare at her periodically and then cornering her to ask if she was ok.

So Hannah made up her mind and started to form a plan. She grieved, chain smoking on the bed, a bottle of vodka in her hand, listening to the mix she had made of The Cure, Depeche Mode, Joy Division, smiling as she stabbed out her cigarettes into the ground, ruining the hard wood floor, thinking of Austin loosing his security deposit. She continued playing stupid on the phone when Austin called, although more and more she let the message machine pick up, feigning a busy work schedule when they talked. She signed the lease on a a little studio in West LA, near Wilshire Boulevard, packed her shit and moved out. She cried as she burned all love notes, valentines, cards, mix tapes and photos of them together in the fireplace before she left. And the dress from Christmas, she would never try to be something she wasn’t for any man. Ever again.

It took Austin two days to notice she had moved out. He arrived home late on a Monday night, assuming Hannah was still at work, he passed out and slept until noon. The past month on location had been a blur. He had wanted Hannah to come with him, and was resentful at her and her career, because they only occasionally had breaks that overlapped. They’d been able to sneak away for a weekend in Cabo, a few days in Vancouver. But it would have been cool to have her keep him company on this shoot. He was busy filming, beginning almost every day at 6 a.m., but the cocaine helped, and he felt like a champion working through the day and going out at night with some of the other actors.  He convinced Bob Downey to come visit him when he had a weekend off,  they drove to the Grand Canyon together, and dropped acid, then missed their paid and scheduled guided tour and ended up laying on the hood of his Beamer gazing at the stars and pondering the meaning of life. 

On his first morning back in LA, Austin got dressed and drove out for meetings with his agent to discuss his the next project, calling home and Hannah’s work no avail trying to reach her. He ate dinner alone at the at Chateau Marmont bar on a whim, drinking a whiskey and talking with the bar tender for a while. He wasn’t famous, yet, not really, and he enjoyed the anonymity, although he nearly jumped out of his skin with joy when Demi Moore recognized him as she entered the restaurant with Bruce Willis. They’d met when she was dating Emilio Estevez, and Austin took the opportunity to gush to Willis about how much he loved Die Hard and how he always thought Willis had action star potential watching Moonlighting. Leaving the Chateau, Austin ended the night with a drive through Hollywood, listening to Genesis and U2 on his tape deck, before growing lonely at home and wondering where Hannah was. He called her work again with no luck, drank a half bottle of whiskey and passed out. It was the next morning, unpacking his suitcases from Arizona, that he noticed Hannah’s side of the closet was empty. Austin frantically walked through the house, opening dresser drawers, looking through the bathroom, checking to see if she had left a note on the fridge or any travel receipts at her desk. His first hope was that she’d gone on a spontaneous trip with friends. Or maybe out to visit her father for a few days. Austin’s heart sank when he saw the empty frames above the mantle, the specks of burnt cards and photos in the fireplace. He wasn’t sure how much she knew, or how she found out, but he punched the wall until his fists bleed, raging at himself for being so stupid, for getting carried away, for screwing around with one of the supporting actresses.

It hadn’t been the first time another actor had flirted with Austin. Indeed, flirting, pranks, late night philosophical discussions, it was all common practice between the crew and the talent, especially on location when the everyone lived at the same hotel. For a month. However, this had been the first time he had given into temptation. Kim was 20 years old, beautiful and carefree, with none of Hannah’s angst or deep insecurities, although he later realized there wasn’t much depth to her personality at all and he got bored. Quickly. In the beginning, it had been freeing and wonderful, even exciting, to explore and get to know a new female body, to end the loneliness he’d been enclosed in over the first week and a half in Arizona. Why did anyone live in the desert anyway? He asked himself as the dry heat hit his face every goddamn day. The way Kim had pursued him was also incredibly flattering. She waited for Austin by his trailer, caught his eye on set while she bite her lip, cornered him at the hotel bar, causing him to smile a mischievous knowing smile every time their eyes locked, to know she wanted him, to feel the power he held over her. It stroked his ego and poured gas onto the fire that would blow up his relationship with Hannah. The sex daze wore off after a week and he realized what a huge mistake he had made. They had nothing in common and it was increasingly annoying how she didn’t get any of his jokes, or slipped into a form of baby talk in bed that grated his nerves, especially when he was hung over. It was worse when Kim began holding his hand on set, probing him about the future, and looking at him impatiently as she talked about going to the premiere together. Like a man, Austin said nothing, and suffered through another ten days of mediocre sex and companionship with Kim before breaking things off the moment shooting concluded.

All of this flashed through Austin’s head as he drove to Hannah’s work, yelling at the receptionist who explained Hannah was not working on anything there, she’d finishing before deadline, and had no idea if Hannah was working somewhere else or coming back in the near future. Swearing under his breath, Austin walked back and forth in the parking lot, squeezing the bridge of his nose, palming his hand through his hair. He considered driving out to Malibu and shaking down Avi, but he couldn’t bare to look Hannah’s father in the eyes, afraid she had shared what had happened, or worse, hadn’t and he would have to explain why he had no idea where his girlfriend was. Racking his brain, he wasn’t sure what to do. He had met several of Hannah’s friends, but didn’t know their phone numbers. It was pure dumb luck that he happened be driving down Wilshire Boulevard in a daze and saw her small, blue Honda hatchback parked down one of the side streets. He immediately recognized the Dukakis 88 bumper sticker in exactly the same place he’d watched Hannah paste it as he teased her relentlessly with promises to cancel out her vote by pulling for Bush. Parking across the street, he sat waiting, unsure of his game plan, but unable to leave. He put the radio on and leaned back. Thrumming the steering wheel, he didn’t see her walk past his car from the apartment building behind him and frown as she recognized his profile. Movement on his periphery startled Austin, and he looked over his shoulder to see Hannah’s beautiful, heart shaped ass running slowly back up the block in low black heels. Springing into action, Austin ran after her, his Nikes and jeans giving him the advantage.

“Hannah! Hannah….” He caught up and blocked the sidewalk, panting deeply. “C’mon Hannah, I made a mistake… one mistake… haven’t you ever made a mistake while you were drunk?”

Crossing her arms, sighing, she resisted the urge slap him.

“Yes. Christmas Eve. 1987.”

Read Chapter Two Here

Taglist (let me know if you would like to be added)

@woundmetender​

@powerofelvis​

@aconflagrationofmyown​

[no-see-um-incorrect]

New buddy 

All characters belong to Yuurivoice  

(featuring Seth singing Noah Kahan 🥰)

The trail was unmarked. You’d have to not be afraid of getting a little dirty just to find it. Seth found this trail when he was little.  and as far as he knew, it was only occupied by his footprints. 

Every Wednesday 5:00PM he walks the trail. Does cleanup. his little personal slice of serenity. 

“🎶I am remembering I promised to forget you now🎶 but it’s raining, and I’m calling drunk🎶 and my medicine is drowning your perspective out🎶”

*Meow meow meow*

“🎶so I ain’t taken any fault🎶 am I honest still? Am I half the man I used to be?🎶 I doubt it, forget about it, whatever🎶”

*Meow mrow mow*

“🎶it’s all the same,anyways🎶 I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown🎶 in the name of someone I no longer know🎶”

His singing turns to a whistle as the song continues to play on his radio. He starts Clearing the path of fallen tree branches and overgrown brush. 

“🎶traffic lights and a transmitter radio🎶”

“🎶I don’t like it when they threw me in the car🎶 I gave your name is my emergency phone call🎶 honey, it rang and, rang🎶Even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up. I dial Drunk, i’ll die drunk, i’d die for yo-WHOA”

Seth tripped and fell. A small tree had fallen in the path.

“Son of a-..where did that come from?!”

He looked around in confusion. He trimmed up the path regularly. so this wouldn’t happen.  Seth takes off his jacket and drapes it over the tree. he knelt down on the ground and started rifling through his backpack.

“it’s a small enough tree that I might be able to  cut it into smaller pieces with Betty….”

*Prrrrr~ prrrrr~ prrrrrow*

“Ok let me ju-“

Seth looks up from his backpack and sees a small orange kitten curled up on his jacket. The kitten looks at Seth.

“Mrow!”

“Oh My God”

He moves slowly as to not startle the kitten. The kitten sat up and looked at Seth. To his surprise the kitten wasn’t afraid. It looked at Seth the way a dog looks at its reflection.

Seth holds his hand up to the kitten for it to sniff.

“where’s your mama little one?”

The kitten looked towards the darkening forest, and then back at Seth

“Yea mine too” he softly pet its ears as the kitten prred to the Touch

Seth cupped his hands. Gesturing for the kitten to climb in. The kitten playfully pawed at his fingers before climbing in. Seth puts on his jacket. And puts the kitten on his shoulder.

“Ya know. A wise man once said Family doesn’t end in blood….so yea our Mom’s might not be here but. We have our own home to go to”

The kitten snuggles its face against Seth’s jaw.

“yea….you’re coming home with me”

“Man you’re gonna love Al and sugar….I swear when it comes to them I’m like moth man to traffic lights”

They keep walking.

“🎶county line, i’m counting down🎶 mailboxes until my house🎶*meow*🎶this place had a h-*chuckles*eartbeat in its Day🎶Vail bought the mountains and nothing was the same🎶*meow MeOw* Oh your a Noah Kahan fan ain’t ya lit-…..you need a name? Don’t ya?”

“Mow row?” It tilted its head in confusion 

“well, I can’t just keep calling you little one forever…..Let’s see….”

After around 30 minutes, he exits the trail and gets to his motorcycle  setting the little kitten on the seat,  the kitten starts pawing and playing with Seth’s hands 

“oooO you’re a fighter ain’t ya?……*click!* How bout Rocky. Yea like Rocky balboa. You like that little guy *Meow!* all right!….um how are we going to get home?”

Seth’s motorcycle was fit for 2…..people…Rocky…was a cat

“We’ll it’s about a 30 minute walk to Al’s place….it IS a pretty nice evening……I’m sure Sugar an Alphonse won’t mind if I’m a little late for dinner….”

30 minutes later

“……Hey Boo….you seeing this?…”

 Sugarboo walks over to the window next to Alphonse

“Is…is that Seth walking his motorcycle?”

Seth walking his motorcycle holding the handlebars. seemingly talking to himself. Sugarboo and Alphonse make their way outside.

“hey guys! sorry I’m a little late I got….well a little sidetracked. And I had to stop at the store for a few things…..”

Seth grabs the plastic grocery bag off the back of his bike and turns around 

“I um….ran into someone”

He turns around, revealing the small kitten in his hands.

“holy fuck it’s a kitten!”

“sugar Alphonse I’d like you to meet my new little buddy this…..is Rocky!”

“meow!”

“that’s…..that’s fucking adorable”

Sugarboo bounce up and down on their tiptoes.

“can I hold him Seth. please?!”

“yeah you can sugar….just be gentle”

 I never really know how to end these things 

You already know that Seth bought a harness and leash for this cat it goes everywhere with him and loves every second of it.

Moral of the story, family is who choose, and it can be found in the most unexpected places 

I apologize if I misspelled  anything 

[3cheers4alex]

“Dear Beka, It’s been way too long since my last letter. It’s not like I’ve been super busy building a new life or anything. This summer, I’ve been on a mission to reclaim what once belonged to us. But you see, that’s not the whole story. The real reason I stopped writing to you is that revisiting our memories feels like ripping my heart out. Now, I want to look ahead. Funny, right? Especially when our biggest fights were about my aversion to making plans. I’m thinking about the goofy names we’ll give our future cats, like ‘French Fry’ or ‘Ramen.’ I want to relive those nights where we’d empty a bottle of wine way too quickly while watching your sci-fi movies. I want to hear those silly jokes you’d make with your brother and witness your contagious laughter at your own silliness. I want to grab that can of paint gathering dust in your mom’s garage and repaint the living room dark green, your dad’s favorite color. And I can’t wait to help you unpack those boxes of vinyl records in your store, the ones that never found their place on the shelves. I don’t know how many parallel universes exist, or if I’m just a jerk in ours. I don’t know how many versions of us are out there, enduring different highs and lows. I don’t even know if you’re still waiting for me. But here’s what I do know: I won’t let another six months go by without us finding our way back to each other. I’ve realized that, yeah, nothing lasts forever, and if I used that as an excuse to push you away, it should’ve been my reason to hold you close to me.”