#and nobody around me that has real connections seems to care.

[babydarkstar]

like i really wish the masses Could actually do something to stop the destruction of the only planet we have to live on. i wish it Was our fault and not the fault of like. a handful of people. bc then i would feel like doing something would help

[writingwithcolor]

Author with cultural disconnect: How do I write without making it seem as if I hate my own heritage?

Anonymous asked:

I’m a white-passing Asian author, and I’ve never felt all that connected with my heritage. My current story centers on a fairy (re: fantasy-world POC) child and ends with her realizing that her parents are toxic af and her human best friend’s family takes her in. This is the perfect opportunity to sort through my own issues with my heritage and finally convince my monkey-brain that it’s okay to not know how to cook Vietnamese food or celebrate tet or speak Vietnamese… But I also realize that if I’m not careful, this could easily slip into “Hey, I hate my heritage and so should you!” So how can I stop that from happening?

Writing for yourself first, not an audience

I ask you a simple question: why put pressure on yourself to have any sort of non-offensive messaging for a story that hasn’t been drafted yet and is to convince your monkey brain it’s okay to exist as yourself?

That seems like the fastest way to stop the story from being actually cathartic and instead a performance art piece when you already feel hung up on performing as “properly” part of your culture.

As I said in Working Through Identity Issues and Other Pitfalls of Representation, not all stories you write need to be for public consumption. Especially stories you’re using for your own self-processing and therapy, because you’re trying to get a cathartic moment that is rewriting your own story.

At what point does the public need to be involved in that?

I do understand the compulsion to want to post—I have definitely posted some Questionable™ material in my drive to get validation for feeling the way I do, wanting people to witness me and say “same.” It’s a powerful urge. Sometimes it’s worked, but most of the time it’s just made me feel horrifically exposed.

But you really do not have to post in public to get any sort of validation. Set up a groupchat with friends if you want the cheerleading and witnessing—people who will know your story and give you good-faith interpretations and won’t accuse you of anything. Honestly I’d suggest setting up this groupchat anyway; as someone who just got one again after quite a few years without it, my productivity has skyrocketed from being around supportive people.

Let the monkey brain have its monkey brain moment and shut off the concept the story is for the public. Shut off the concept of performing for an unknown audience. It’s for you. Be authentic, no matter how bad it would look to outsiders. They’re not reading it. Part of getting catharsis, sometimes, is being the worst version of yourself, somewhere nobody else can see it.

Deciding to publish the work

If, after you do write it, you find that you actually do want to polish it up and put it somewhere… edit it. Rewrite it entirely if that’s what it takes. Take the story through the same drafting process every story needs to go through, ripping out the unfortunate implications as you go.

Editing can be its own form of healing, as you try to figure out what this character would need to not be hateful. As you realize, once this longform journal entry is out of your head, what was bothering you now that you can see it pinned down on a page. But you absolutely do not need to write with the intention of editing in that healing. When I’ve tried, it’s fallen flat.

The healing will come from being yourself, no public involved, and writing about your feelings in their rawest form. Anything else is extra.

There’s no point in trying to put guard rails on the drafting process, not for a deeply personal piece. And by the time that drafting process is done, you’ll likely have specific scenarios and contexts that you can ask about, and you might even have ideas on how to fix it yourself once the story has a shape to it.

This is 100% a situation where there’s no real sense in idea workshopping something in the plotting stage. You’re doing something for you. Decide if it’s for public consumption later (while acknowledging “no” is a perfectly valid answer), and only figure out how to make the story not overtly harmful if you decide to put it out into the public.

~ Leigh

[strongheartneteyam]

I wet you like water but she stained you like blood.

Chapter 2

Pairing: widowed!dilf!Jake Sully x younger!female!human reader

CW: angsty as hell, Neytiri is dead in this AU, unrequited love, older man & younger woman relationship (y/n is in her 20's), feeling like you're only there to fill in the gap someone else left (Neytiri, in this case), mentions of death and being a widow, complex feelings, talks of trauma, CAN BE TRIGGERING TO SOME, mentions of sex, mentions of sexual fluids, reader feeling guilty about being with Jake not long after Neytiri's death

Not proofread. And I can't even read what I just wrote, without even correcting it, because I have to feed my cat and take care of dinner right now. I'm just praying this stuff makes sense. I'll correct any mistakes as soon as I can. Sorry in advance lol This amateur writer here never has enough time on her hands...... 🥲

Chapter 1 𓆩♡𓆪

You're so much older and wiser

And I wait by the door like I'm just a kid

Use my best colors for your portrait

Lay the table with the fancy shit

And watch you tolerate it

If it's all in my head tell me now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

tolerate it (Taylor Swift)

𓆩♡𓆪

Jake was a widowed father of 4, he was an attractive, responsible, charming, older man. And he was also funny when he was just chilling, hanging around his friends or his family. Last but not least: he had a delicious "dad bod", a word people came up with to describe older men who are still toned but have some cute fat here and there.

You were a girl in your 20's, a young xenobotanist living in Pandora, who used to spend her nights alone, eating cup noodles, watching and rewatching old TV shows from when the planet Earth was still a place where humans could actually live in, and feeling lonely. So, when Jake Sully got his eye on you, you fell head over heels for him.

You knew well you could never replace Neytiri. Even after her death, she still had a place in Jake's heart that nobody, not even you, would ever be able to claim as yours.

Still, you could not let Jake go. Still, you insisted in staying. Still, you didn't seem to love yourself enough to say to yourself "I deserve better" and wait for a guy who actually loves you, not one that seemed to only love your company and well... your body most of all, as it seemed.

Okay, maybe you shouldn't think this bad of Jake. You knew he felt really connected to you, in a deep level. You two would talk late at night and he would always be vulnerable and tell you about real personal and deep stuff about his life - the one in the human body and the one in the na'vi body -, while the both of you would eat roasted meat and fungi, up in some tree in the middle of the Pandoran forests. But you knew he did not love you. Even if you could feel his heart beating fast through his chest when he kissed and touched you, away from everyone, never in front of anybody, because you two were adults and knew damn well that situation, him seeming like he was so happy and living his best life with another woman, a much younger human girl, who was at an age where she could actually be his daughter, wouldn't sit right with anybody, not human, not na'vi - given that he had children that were still mourning the death of their mother (one of them being a little girl, Tuktirey).

That sacred feeling, love, was saved inside of Jake's heart for Neytiri, his deceased mate, even after death. He bonded with her through tsaheylu. You, as only a human, no neuro queue to connect with his in sight, knew you could never compare to that primal bond he had experienced with her. But worst of all (you felt horrible saying "worst of all" but you knew you didn't mean it like that, like you didn't care about other people's feelings), Neytiri was the mother of his children. She might be with Eywa now but you knew Jake would always remember her looking all beautiful and incredibly feminine carrying his first born, Neteyam Sully, and his other two biological children in her belly (Kiri was adopted after her biological mom died, a dear friend of the couple, Grace Augustine. Kiri was a miracle kid. Her mother was bearing her inside of her body after her own death, inside the lab. That was crazy stuff your human mind would never understand, you thought. Only the na'vi could understand the magnitude of Eywa's power. You yourself knew she was strong and respected her but didn't love and worship her like they did.)

Thinking about the way Jake must still adore the memory of Neytiri and think about her and even cry missing her gave you a big lump in your throat and made you wanna throw up. You felt like the worst being in the Universe thinking like that, but you swore, truly, that feeling that way was not you being a petty selfish girl, jealous of the man you were currently in a situationship with and not even considering to have some respect for his grief and the grief of his children - who had just lost their mother -, but it was actually the love you felt for Jake manifesting in your body, in a psychosomatic way. The pain and desperation you felt thinking about the possibility of him never getting over Neytiri made you sick to your stomach, it made the bones inside of your flesh ache.

The first time you saw him talking to Norm one day at the lab, his tall, large frame in all its glory, his blue skin so beautiful, his dark blue stripes adorning his whole body in intricate patterns, his long brown hair falling on his toned back, his tail looking so cute, reminding you of a kitty cat.... "I'm fucked" You thought to yourself. "Am I really catching feelings for this older na'vi man who will probably never want me in this way?! Damn, he's still mourning his dead mate.... Neytiri died not even a whole year ago... I must be evil to be thinking about him this way at this moment. Stop that, you crazy stupid heartless girl."

You looked at him again and he was smiling, his fangs touching his lower lip. He had such a cheerful, precious smile, even though you knew he had been through a whole lot of pain and trauma in his life. "He must be really strong and resilient. That's beautiful." You thought to yourself

Jake Sully had the right amount of muscles but still had soft flesh in all the right places, his tummy just perfect enough for you to be able to squeeze it if you wanted to, his thighs thick but the muscles were balanced with sweet softness. He made you feel a raw kind of heat in your lower belly and think about him just before sleep, like you were a damn schoolgirl. Sometimes (okay, many times...) he made your panties slick with your own juices when you imagined him taking you in his arms and kissing you hard, dominating you like you were his. Which you wished you were. Until one day that wish was fulfilled. You were in cloud nine when that happened.

Jake had been in the marines back when he was human and lost the movement of his legs, being left needing a wheelchair to move himself around and do day to day activities. He lost his twin brother back on Earth, too, after he - Tommy - had been mugged. And now, he had just lost his wife to death too and was left alone to take care of his 4 children. Poor thing must have PTSD, if the na'vi brains were able to have the same disorders as humans brains had. You didn't know, to be honest. You were a xenobotanist. Your area of expertise was the biology of extraterrestrial plants, not the biology of extraterrestrial bodies.

The fact that he still was capable of irradiating happiness through his eyes, smile, voice and overall presence made you weak with admiration. And love, you must say. Because thats what you were: weak and in love, all for and with Jake Sully.

Too bad his feeling were not even close to being the same as yours. He loved you as a friend and he lusted over your body. He wanted to protect you from any harm anyone could ever do to you. The bitter part of it all is: he could never protect you from the harm he himself did to you. The harm being giving you pieces of what could be his love, but it wasn't. That was the worst crime he could ever commit against you. At least that's what the pungent pain deep inside the arteries of your heart told you. Every night. Every time you remembered he didn't love you, but he loved Neytiri. Everytime you got reminded of the fact that you were alive and she was dead but you still were not his favorite.

Goddammit. How did you end up competing with a dead na'vi woman over a na'vi man's love? You sure were losing your mind.

But falling in love with Jake Sully proved to you that you were not the nerdy science girl who used to always put reason first and feelings last, that you always thought you were. Not when it came to love, at least. Or not when it came to this relationship.

𓆩♡𓆪

If any of you wanna be in the taglist for this fanfic, just leave a comment 🤍 ily n hope you're having a nice day/night 💓⚘

[ctitan98official]

Anonymous: OK OK HEAR ME OUT; What if in your most recent post of Alcina lost child Au, both Alcina and Miranda encounter Y/N again but... plot twist they where adopted by a corporation that experimented in childs to become them in the perfect soldier, completely loyal and emotionless, they are in the village for a mision to see if the residents in there are dangerous to the outside world and in case of so, they have the order to kill them all. Imagine the guility and heartbroken they might feel since their little child became just another weapon...

Alright, so this was requested a loooong time ago. I finally got around to it XD This was inspired by my Alcina’s long lost child AU.

You were taken and experimented on relentlessly by Umbrella as a baby. The corporation had found your file and knew your origin. The product of two powerful bioweapons… It was too good of an opportunity for them to pass up.

You didn’t even know who your parents were and yet… You hated them. It was their fault that you were being tortured. Your every waking moment for the first few years of your life was excruciating. Needles, imaging, testing. Was this truly all you were meant to be? Some… Lab rat?

You grew up with no affection. Just sterile and generic questions. “How have you felt since we did the last test? Any symptoms?”

You tried to reach out to other people. To talk to them and ask them questions. To build some semblance of a human connection… But it was useless.

Nobody gave a shit.

So… You started shutting down.

No tears, no smiles. What was the point? People didn’t care. You learned to shut off that part of yourself fairly quickly.

Thankfully, once it was clear that you did not possess the powers that your parents did (Or any, for that matter), The experiments began to lessen and eventually stopped.

Shortly before Umbrella began to crumble from the inside out, the B.S.A.A. liberated you and put you into protective custody within the confines of their organization. You knew a lot about the inner machinations of Umbrella and were a vital source of information for them.

While the people with B.S.A.A. were largely nicer than the scientists at Umbrella, it was soon clear that they also wanted to use you.

Thankfully, a kind agent decided to take you under his wing. His name was Chris Redfield. He was appalled at everything you had been through and made a silent vow to protect you from then on.

While you were still closely monitored by B.S.A.A., Chris raised you at his house alongside his little sister, Claire. She was a few years older than you, but she always tried to include you in whatever she was doing. She was sweet.

However… It was too late to save you from the psychological damage you sustained.

You have no compassion, no empathy. Your brain just doesn’t work like that anymore. It’s been programmed to survive that way.

You actually hate being around other people. They’re weak. Their self-centered and petty little lives are a joke. They pretend that their existence has some higher meaning. That they are worthy of respect, admiration… Love.

It’s ridiculous.

Other people may have been fed bullshit their entire lives, but not you. For as sucky as your childhood was, it opened your eyes to the truth. You understand firsthand that greed is how the world actually works. Everyone is in it for themselves.

Money. Power. Influence. That’s what people secretly desire. However, nobody seems to have the balls to come out and say it so plainly. They want to hide behind their beliefs and “Morals”.

That’s okay. You couldn’t give less of a shit. Let them delude themselves.

Your only true loyalty lies with Chris and Claire. Even though you are unable to form any real attachment to them, they are the only people you would even consider helping if they needed it. Chris got you out of the shitty situation you were living in and you would spend the rest of your life trying to repay that favor.

Chris knew that you wanted to do what he did for a living. He would have much preferred to protect you from the horrors of bioterrorism, but… Well, you’re pretty much the embodiment of it. So, he reluctantly agreed. If you wanted something this badly, then he was going to do his best to make it happen. He started training you in marksmanship.

You became skilled. Very skilled. You devoted all of your time to it. Only taking necessary breaks to eat or sleep. Then, it was back to training.

Chris pretty much molded you into the perfect agent… And now, here you are. On your first mission together.

You and Chris are being flown to a rural area in Romania. There is intel suggesting the possible presence of B.O.W.s and it’s on you to determine if they are a threat… Or might become one.

Hound Wolf Squad were flown in a few hours earlier and are currently in a holding position, waiting for you and Chris.

Chris, never one to bullshit you, sits down next to you on the helicopter. “Looks like there might be some big action, kid. Rolando’s been scoping out the area and… It’s pretty hot with B.O.W.s,” He says quietly. “I just want you to know that it’s… Okay to be worried, Y/N. Many experienced agents still have jitters before a mission.”

You’re currently cleaning one of your guns. “Obliterate the target or die trying. It’s all the same to me, Redfield,” You tell him, not even turning to look at him.

Chris breathes out a laugh at this. You’re truly one of a kind. He pats your arm before standing up again. “Good talk, Y/N,” He says.

It’s true, though. So what if you die? It can’t be much different than living. You finish up before the pilot announces that you’ve arrived.

The helicopter lands in an abandoned field and you and Chris hop out.

“Alright, you and me will head into the village and Hound Wolf Squad will be tailing us,” Chris instructs.

You nod silently at this.

“We want to be able to get information out of them, so we’ll try the, uh, non-violent path first,” He says. “Who knows… Maybe it’ll be as simple as sitting down and having some coffee with them?” He smiles.

You almost feel a small fondness tugging your heart at Chris’s statement. After all he’s been through, he always tries to see the good in people.

You two make the trek into the village and Chris is able to get in contact with Hound Wolf Squad. They’ll be here to offer backup if you need it. All seems to be going according to plan.

However… The closer you both get to the center of the village… The more you get this weird… Sensation. It’s like your very being is thrumming.

Something about this place… Is drawing you in. Wanting you to be here.

For the first time in years you feel… A stab of panic. What is happening to you? This isn’t normal.

But… You don’t say anything. Whatever this feeling is, it’s your problem to deal with. You’re not going to drag Chris down with you.

You two look around at the ramshackle buildings in town.

Chris whistles. “What a shit hole,” He murmurs.

You try to shake off the warm pulse that is flowing through you. “It looks completely deserted,” You remark.

Chris nods in agreement. “You’re right,” He says. He looks off in the distance and spots the castle. A gentle light is emanating from the windows and smoke is billowing out of its chimney. “I think that may be our best bet, kid. Let’s go check it out,” He says, pointing at the ornate building.

You nod silently and the two of you begin the journey up the side of the mountain. It’s rather uneventful, and that’s a welcome change. This place is kind of freaking you out, a feat you didn’t even know was possible.

But… What awaits you is about to change your life forever. You’re about to learn the story of where you came from.

Whether you want to or not.

Note: Cliffhanger! Let me know what you thought and thanks for reading!

Masterlist

[roidepoison]

Ok hear me out, people always say idia x vil wouldn’t work bc it doesn’t make sense but let me just explain why I think they’d be a perfect match lowkey:

The argument I hear all the time is that idia is neurodivergant in some capacity and has issues with executive dysfunction so he has trouble taking care of himself. Well good news, vil would be more than happy to make a schedule for him. Nothing crazy like what he does for himself, but just daily hygiene/ grooming/ self care tasks (brushing teeth, eating an actual meal, showering, etc). I think this would be great for idia ?? He could make it like a visual chart and then he kills two birds with one stone, he takes better care of himself and he FEELS better, bc he isn’t running on empty or constantly disheveled.

I also think dating vil would improve idias confidence too. Vil is the kind of person that wants to bring out the best in everybody around him and I know he would make sure idia knows all the amazing qualities he possesses.

Something that bugs me about a lot of vil pairs I see in the fandom are that they really rely on vils beauty, his status, his connections, what have you. All very superficial things that could be lost at any second (cough cough book 6). I think what vil needs in a partner is 1. Someone that shares his sense of ambition and self improvement which I think idia does in his own way, and 2. Someone that genuinely gets to know and love vil for who he is as a human being, not as a super model or a famous actor or whatever. Idia thinks vil is gorgeous obviously he says it all the time, but I don’t think that’s what would initially draw him in or keep him so whipped with vil. Imo, I think idia admires Vil’s confidence, but I also think he’d listen when they lay awake together at night and vil tells him about WHY he had to build such a tough skin in the first place. I think idia admires his commitment to his passions (something they both share). But mainly, I think what would really get idia is when they spend real, private moments together. Like when idia realizes vil will try his absolute hardest to put up a fight in whatever video game they’re playing, or when he learns about the genres vil likes to read and watch , when he notices little mannerisms and habits vil has that nobody else pays attention to. When they start playfully roughhousing around on the couch and idia realizes oh damn vil is built, he’s not this delicate little flower that I thought he was. How Idia would start grinding in his mmog game to get all of the rare, glittery armor bc he knows it’s vils style, only to quickly find out that vil is actually getting kind of good at the game and will defend Idia in said glittery armor. The way idia would reference some random childhood story vil shared with him two months prior and vils heart would stop bc he realized idia was actually listening.

I think idia may not seem like he’s engaged 24/7 during his social exchanges in the game, but I think he’s the kind of person that really is listening and taking things to heart. He’d notice so many little things about vil and that would absolutely sweep vil off his feet bc for the first time in his life someone sees him for what he really is: just some freaking guy. Idia doesn’t put him on a pedestal or make Vil’s appearance the backbone of their relationship; he just likes vil. Him being gorgeous is just a nice bonus.

Anyways I think they should kiss thank you and goodnight

[galatoma]

Im still thinking about qtubbo and danse macabre, btw. I just think it's a very fun connection to make, with how tubbo seems to consider his life expandable, coupled with his newfound interest in keeping his corpses around.

Like, of course he's not experiencing something as grim as a plague, but he's very much in a space where he has become fascinated with death, due mostly to someone he cares about greatly dying (supposedly). Though, I think his belief that he matters to nobody also has a huge part to play in the fact that he thinks he can die without anybody caring, which is why he's having a little "fun" with it now. That's some real danse macabre energy to me.

(This new line of thinking is extremely harmful, though, beyond just qtubbo himself. I mean, look at how nervous Sunny became every time tubbo left her, ESPECIALLY when he dies. So lord help this guy and his kid)

[constantineshots]

I'm kind of confused on John Constantine's characterisation. But, to be fair, I did come across him in the dp x dc crossovers, so...*shrug*

It's just that he ranges from the most pathetic, self-centered but also accidentally altruistic smoking asshole who couldn't care less if you burned alive to a soft-hearted tsundere who wants to help but lets nobody see that and tries to be an asshole to drive them away.

Also the thing about him backstabbing everyone he spends more than five minutes with, but still being on the JL's speed dial???? And everyone says he's an asshole who's more trouble than he's worth but they still turn to him for help?

If you have the time, could you please clear that up a bit? What is he like in the comics? The good ones I mean.

Thank you and have a nice day.

hello! sorry this took me a minute- had a lot to say. its a long post SORRY

buti think the simplest way to describe it is that in regards to the dc x dp crossover, they focus more on the dc universe's john constantine- which is the mainstream universe, with big shots like superman and batman and all of the things that make him, for the most part, seem like he's the best in magic and this man who is on, as you put it, the justice league's speed dial. he's the butt of most jokes, he never actually shows his bisexuality in a healthy manner because he's more likely to be joking about it than actually being in a relationship with a man (his usual love interest is zatanna, and ofc, bisexual people are allowed to date someone of the same gender, but what annoys me is that they are willing to joke about his bisexuality without showing him actually dating these men that he jokes about).

however, vertigo comics (which is dc's black label: comics like hellblazer (john's line), lucifer, the sandman, etc. reside because the topics they touch are for mature audiences- and not just because lucifer's naked 90% of his comic run) is where we get john constantine. in hellblazer, he starts off as a terrified man who's willing to do anything to survive- and, honestly, i'd say that's still the case throughout the series. he seems more real. more possible. more like someone i can connect to.

all the magic he's learned isn't this "inner power" that we see in characters like zatanna (love her, no shade to her) who was taught her magic by her father and has been around it her whole life, or characters like the enchantress. he picked up some books and started digging through them and learning to regain some semblance of control of his life because of his abusive family and just overall not being the most popular kid.

a lot of john's character stems from trauma- his family life, newcastle, most of his relationships with other people, the things he does in general, being in ravenscar, etc.

i said something a while back that i think still stands to this day- he's not a hero because he'll do anything to save his friends or himself, but overall, he comes first. to put it in perspective, there are times he knows things are dangerous, and yet he still asks for favors. also, this guy was dying of lung cancer (yknow. because he was smoking as much as he was) and he didn’t stop smoking, of course. no, he basically pulled this huge con on a bunch of higher people in hell and was like “well now if i die, a whole war starts” so they? made sure he would live. that’s the kind of shit john does. he’s a con artist.

while john doesn't like to sit on his feelings too long, he does care- he just doesn't like showing it. he shoves people away when they get too close, and when someone hurts him- for example, kit moving back to belfast and essentially breaking up with him because of the fact people attacked her to try and get to him, john was horrible. he was cruel. he called her cold, which he knew would hurt her. then, he went into an immediate depression and was homeless for,,, what, a year? because he blamed himself for so much shit and kit was just what made him keel over.

on top of that, john is pretty political. his whole character is- he talks about climate change, he talks about racism, he’s aware of his privilege, and in one of the more recent runs of hellblazer, he shows that too. shame that one wasn’t very long- would’ve liked more of it. however, his dc run doesn’t show any of that. it’s like they’re showing john but without getting into the gritty parts of him that make him him. it’s like they’re scratching the surface and won’t just take the metaphorical shovel and slam it into him. which sucks- i like the idea of him being around the other characters, somewhat, but i don’t want him to be the go to guy when it comes to dc comics’ magical people. he certainly isn’t that. they have those- they’ve got dr. fate and zatanna right on the league, why do they need john?

his character in vertigo is definitely not a hero, and dc wants him to be that. they want him to be the magic guy they have on speed dial. they want him to be the sexy guy with a cigarette in his mouth flirting with everyone in sight. they don’t want to delve into the darker territory because it’s going to scare people away, and the ones that are scared away probably shouldn’t be interacting with his character in the first place.

honestly, i’m probably missing a lot, but this is getting to be storybook length as it is, so sorry for my little tangent but i hope this helps!

[unwillingprince]

"Stay with me!" The scene was terrifying. Victory still wasn't sure he believed what he was seeing. Nervous wings stretched behind him, trying to keep him in balance as he scrambled for the blacktop. Charlie had half crawled out of the wrecked vehicle and every second that passed, Vi could feel the connection between them fading. "No no no no no-" Cursing, the angel dropped to his knees and crawled close, taking the man's face in his palms and stroking through his hair. This wasn't allowed-- But damn the rules! If he'd just stepped in a little more or gotten closer, Charlie wouldn't be here struggling to breathe.

So many years of watching him and years of being told over and over that the only thing he could do was suggest.

He has to help himself. If he can't, there's nothing we can do.

Bullshit! Bullshit- Charlie needed help. He needed real help! He didn't need "signs", he needed support and a hand to hold! Nobody else around him was stubborn enough to beat down the walls he'd put up-- And forget about that mother. No matter her intentions, she always seemed to make things worse on him. Who did that leave? There wasn't anyone! Victory hitched and reached out to find one of his hands, squeezing gently at his palm. "You poor thing. I really failed you, haven't I?" Drawing his hand down his back, he felt for broken bones and hesitated for just a second. He glanced up like someone might be looking, but decided it didn't matter anymore. Charlie wasn't going to die here.

The night air stilled to an eerie calm. Green eyes snapped back, they shifted to a stark, glowing white. The palm on Charlie's back warmed until it was red hot and gleaming with light-- Vi pressed it flat against his spine and felt the bones in his body shift and crack back into place under his palm. "Just a little more... I hope it doesn't hurt too badly." He whispered, listening to his ribs pop and crackle. "I'm so sorry, Charlie-..." The flash of headlights had the angel peeking up and quickly disappearing out of sight. It was a miracle, both for himself and Charlie. If he'd healed him completely, there would've been heavy consequences.

Victory watched from beside the man. Things moved swiftly from there on out-- The EMTs hauled Charlie off to take care of him and left the angel in the remnants of the wreckage. Glancing back at the car, the glass, and blood, Vi sat down and gave into the deep ache in his chest, crying for the young man that would've been left to die.

It took him a while to move from the mess. He felt for Charlie's presence and found him being moved from surgery to a hospital bed. Frowning to himself, Victory found an open chair and parked himself by the young man's bedside. Pulling his knees up to his chest, his wings stretched behind him and ruffled in an attempt to get comfortable. He was sure he'd be here for a while.

@purposefully-lost

[ronnieafterdark]

Starting this side blog off with a bang, here's some previews of some fics I'm working on. Who knows if they'll ever be published! I certainly don't.

Fic one:

Mike narrows his eyes as continues to watch the camera footage, his chin nestled in the crook of his hand. He watches as the trespasser fidgets with a book, as if they're trying to read but they can't take in any of the words. Like when you read an entire page and realize you were zoned out for most of it so you have to go back and read it again. This person broke into a building to read a book? That's really fucking ballsy. He wants to confront this person (because that's, you know, one of his number one job duties) but he can't help but think about the last time he ‘confronted a criminal’ at a security gig. His eyes drift over to the dust-covered intercom to the side of the monitors which has gone unused for the entirety of his tenure at Freddy's (and probably for the past few decades, too). He would say that there's absolutely no shot that it still works, but, then again, the owner of this place tends to place a weird amount of care in keeping things functional. He knows how to use a modern intercom (he used to be in charge of announcements over the intercom at an aquarium he worked at once—his boss thought he had a great radio voice, or something. That was until he flubbed one of this lines, accidentally saying ‘testicles’ instead of ‘tentacles’... Yeah, he wasn't on announcement duty anymore from then on), but he has no idea how an intercom from the eighties would work. It should be pretty intuitive, he figures.

Fic two:

"You act like you think I care about you," you say, rolling your eyes. "I don't think that. In fact, I want nothing less than for you to care about me," he mutters, voice suddenly growing colder, his previous playfulness dissipating. "And why is that?" You ask, eyes meeting his. "Because I don't care about you. I don't want my apathy to be unreciprocated." You nod, a quick breath leaving your nose. "Gotcha." "You know," he shrugs, leaning back in his chair and kicking his feet up on his desk, "you should probably stop worrying about me as much as you do. Between the two of us, do you really think I'm the one who's most likely to have a bounty on their head? You're the one who does all the killing." You glare at him. "Well that's a real fucking comforting thought, but I assure you that I don't have to worry about myself. Nobody stands a chance against me." He sighs, resigning to your stubbornness. "Fine. Just remember that you can never be too careful."

Fic three:

I'm the one who first notices it— no, wait, I think he notices first. He can be a bit of a baby at times and he gets all dramatic over the turbulence. He's the first to say ‘something seems wrong’, but because Derek is Derek, it sounds something more like: "What the fuck is up with this damn thing? It's shaking like a goddamn druggie going through withdrawal. Hold on... Look at that. Look at the fuckin'... System... Thing." Error: server maintenance. "The hell does that mean?" "It's like when you can't play a video game because they have to do something with the server," I respond, taking a closer look. "That's a lot of error signs. How do we fix whatever's going on?" "Fuck if I know. I'm not an engineer." "I don't want to touch anything and make it worse." He gets up, standing next to me and gazing at the ever-increasing amount of error messages on the screen. Error: unable to connect to server. "What, so we can't use Bluetooth anymore? 'Least I don't have to hear your damn music anymore," I mutter. Error: piloting system down. "Oh, that sounds bad—" Error: controls disabled. "Controls disabled? Wait, does that mean—" Error: engine disabled. "Engine disabled? Holy shit— Derek! We're crashing!" Derek's head whips around, immediately locking eyes with me. Pure panic. He lurches forward, grabbing hold of my shoulders and—

[titus-androgynous-87]

I am baffled that this fucking crusty ass rat lookin white boy named fucking WILDER isn’t the worst one on Couple to Throuple

I hated him the moment I laid eyes on him. I hated his fucking rat face. I hated his bottle blonde mullet. I hated his crusty mustache. And when his partner Corey started talking about him having crossed boundaries before, I -really- hated him

I’m only on episode 6 or 7 I think, and he has actually surprised me. He and their additional partner, Denyse, have been really good about taking things at Corey’s pace. And making sure to reassure Corey that going slow and setting boundaries isn’t ruining their dynamic

Wilder actually said, out loud “You not voicing your concerns WILL ruin the night, because then you’ll be uncomfortable and we won’t know. That’s how boundaries get crossed”

Wilder and Corey are also the only couple who have stuck with the same partner through the entire process. All the other couples have swapped at least once. Which is fine, and the point of the show. But it feels really superficial and gross when the couples talk about their temporary partners like they are objects for their pleasure and convenience.

Wilder and Corey at least seem to understand that polyamory goes beyond the physical. Though I do giggle because it seems like Denyse is way more into Corey than Wilder. And Corey is way more into Denyse. And Wilder seems content being their third wheel

Real “this is my girlfriend, Corey, and her girlfriend, Denyse” energy. But they seem to understand that polyamorous relationships, especially closed triads like this, don’t have to be 100% equitable all the time. People are naturally going to have deeper connections with some folks and not others. Doesn’t mean they don’t all care for one another. Nobody can post anything on SM until after the reunion, which is understandable. But I’d be interested to know if they’re still a triad (closed or open) or if they’ve all gone their separate ways

I’m really just here for Maximo and Ash at this point, because they’re the queer energy this show needs. And you could instantly see how relaxed the singles were around both of them

Both are non-binary, pan, and have experience with polyamory, though individually and not as a couple (which is how I think this show should have been structured to begin with)

They’re messy and silly and a touch toxic, but who isn’t on this show?

The ones I -really- fucking despise are the swinger couple looking to just have threesomes

Fucking humiliating their additional partners for not wanting to immediately get physically intimate, let alone fuck, within the first hour of meeting. Treating additional partners like playthings to be shelved when they’re bored and picked back up at their convenience. Mocking additional partners for setting boundaries and voicing concerns. Mocking additional partners for having feelings and thoughts and hopes and dreams. The, frankly, disgusting dynamic of centering Dylan as the UltraSigmaAlphaBro with two women hanging off him. I hope his dick falls off from all the steroids. And his wife Lauren is no better

They never should have been cast

Ashmal and Rehman are MESSY. And totally using their partner Johnathan to triangulate their pre-existing issues. These two need locked in a room until they actually discuss their issues

Ashmal has never taken Rehman to meet his family. Hasn’t spoken with his family about Rehman, nothing. And they keep bringing thirds in to ignore the real problems

Messy, under the covers handjobs don’t solve rifts in your relationship, yall. A two legged table cannot stand

And I have no fucking clue why Brittne and Sean are here. They don’t seem into each other, let alone an additional partner. They’re constantly running away from criticisms and difficult discussions. They ignore their partners and shut down their concerns. Brittne made it absolutely clear she is to be the queen bee of the group, to be catered to

Which isn’t how a healthy duo works. Let alone a triad

Idk this show has a LOT of flaws. But if they do a second season, I think the singles should have all the agency and focus, not the couples. Gimme a group of like 15 poly/pan/fluid folks and let me watch them form their own polycules

Because if I have to listen to another straight man giggle about threesomes, I’m gonna go into my back yard and eat dirt until the rage stops

I really wish Becca, one of the more prominent singles, had warned the rest of the group about Dylan and Lauren just looking to be swingers. That would have added so much more interest for me

Like how are the singles going to approach them about their toxic and gross behavior? Will the couple grow and learn and change when confronted with this? (No but we’d have fun watching them flounder and cry that no one wants to fuck them, let alone go home with them)

[artist-issues]

Hello, brother/sister (sorry I found out you existed today lol) in Christ! I just started my own blog yesterday, and I wanted to ask you two questions!

how did you come to Christ? (I am a sucker for testimonies, lol)

how can I preach the gospel on Tumblr with gentleness and grace and love for others? (and how do I not get involved in a keyboard smashing session, haha)

thanks for your time, God bless and have a great day! :)

I came to Christ when I was 15. I’m a Pastor’s kid. So the truth in the Bible was about as impactful to me as reciting my ABCs. But when I turned 9 I started to tune in to the parts about Hell and eternal damnation and freak out about it. So I believed God was real, and Hell and heaven were, too, even though I was living for myself. I started asking questions and praying for my salvation around that time, but it was only to “get out of going to Hell.” I had zero interest in the things of God, or submitting to Him. My top priorities were getting everyone to think well of me, especially my family. So I was super good at saying all the right things and doing all the right things, then behind closed doors I did whatever sinful stuff I felt like doing without a shred of thought for God.

Whenever I panicked about verses like “depart from Me, I never knew you,” I’d pray and ask the adults around me how to tell if I was “really saved,” (again, making zero connection between “saved” and anything except “get out of Hell,” in my heart) and they’d try to explain. But I always just latched on to phrases like “it’s not some sparkly feeling,” and quit panicking and went back to living for myself. But that really is what I was missing—a feeling. Specifically, passion about God, and what He loves, and what He wants, and who He is. That, and submission & repentance 😅

So that pattern went on till I was fifteen and old enough to go to this summer camp. And I was finally away from my usual circles, where I only thought about God in the context of “what does everyone here need to see me doing to think well of me?”

At this camp, the counselors and the teachers cut through all that in like 24 hours. They were like, “yeah, you don't have to give me the correct answer; I know what the teacher just said, but what about you? What do you do, in your life, on your own? What is it like when it’s just you and God?” And between that, and the crazy “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me except God” culture of the whole staff and everyone at that summer camp, God started getting ahold of me.

He started making me think about how everyone else wasn’t just “living for God” as part of their social bubble. They actually felt something genuine about Him. And I didn’t feel that. I didn’t feel anything, and I couldn’t *think* or *reason* or *force* myself to feel what they all seemed to be feeling.   They did this skit, and it was all about how broken sin makes us, and feeling the weight of that, and how Christ is the only salvation, and then that was followed up with this no-nonsense authoritative preaching from God’s Word, about how being “saved” isn’t just from your sin. It’s from yourself. It’s from your *lack* of caring about what is good, of caring about God.

I actually finally realized that when everyone else was out of the picture and it’s just me and God, I don’t care about Him. Even though I know what He did for me. And that felt like the most crushing vile sin of all of them, of my whole double-life. And I couldn’t get out from under it. But then it was super clear: He said He’d give me a “new heart.”

So I asked Him to save me and make me care about Him, and I’d live the rest of my life doing what He tells me to do.    He has done that! Not all at once, but gradually. I care more about doing what He wants, even if nobody in my favorite circles comes with me, than I ever thought I would. And there’s no explanation for it, because I had all of the circumstantial and situational reasons to have that kind of motivation for the first 14 years of my life—and I still didn’t. The only explanation for the change is Him. 

As far as how to talk about it here on tumblr...I've never really started a conversation specifically to lead someone to Christ online. I don't think online is the place to try that—but sometimes the topic comes up naturally because it's relevant to what I'm talking about in a post, like values in movies or if an important truth comes to mind and I feel like posting about it.

If you don't want to get into arguments, the best thing to do is not reply. People here tend to intentionally re-phrase everything you say into something they can buck and kick at, even if you choose your words super carefully. It's because they don't want to have a discussion. They either want to be right, or they want to make you look like a fool. It's impossible for them to do either of those things if what they're arguing against is truth—but they tend to just keep trying if you reply.

I only reply if I feel strongly that others might read the interaction and get the wrong idea about God, or truth, because of the word-twisting of my opposition. However, it's up to your personal conviction! 

My main advice is, don't ever stoop to returning insults. If someone calls you stupid, don't call them stupid back. If someone says something that's just a personal attack on you and has nothing to do with what you're arguing about, you can call it out--"what does that have to do with anything?"--and move on, or you can totally ignore it. And if someone just keeps on re-phrasing everything you say, like this:

Me: There's always more to learn, you don't know everything about what all Christians believe.

Them: I can't believe you're telling me you know more than me, lol, I've got forty years of experience

Then just block 'em. They either don't have good reading comprehension, or they don't want to actually debate in order to highlight truth. They want to debate to hear themselves talk, to convince themselves that they're right, to look like they're right in front of their followers, or to make a fool out of you. None of those are good reasons to debate.

They're looking to discredit you by any means necessary—including twisting your words. See how I said nothing about how much more *I* know than the other person? But somehow they took the point of my phrase and twisted it into a personal attack. That sort of thing isn't worth wasting your time on.

My dad likes to say, "nobody wins people to Christ by arguing them into it." I don't know if that's true, but it has been based on my experience. That said, I think truth is worth defending, and I think we're commanded to stand up against what is wrong. However, there comes a point when it's really just falling on deaf ears and continuing is a point of pride instead of humility.

For your questions, I'd see what the Bible says! 

[bitchbot3000]

Talking to a friend tonight about how one of the strangest, shittiest cultural shifts of the last decade seems to be the sheer number of people who are just totally uninterested in growing as people.

Uninterested in examining anything beyond their knee jerk reactions of "I like it = good, I don't like it = bad," and more than happy to therapy-speak their way through interpersonal problems on the most superficial level imaginable as long as it means avoiding any real personal accountability or need to confront anything the least bit complicated about themselves or the way they interact with the world.

It's so bizarre and depressing, and ABSOLUTELY a huge part of the reason we're experiencing a cultural crisis of loneliness. When you approach every relationship and interaction in your life and culture with the attitude of "I don't owe anyone anything" and a total lack of willingness to dig into any surface level discomfort or acknowledge that your actions do have an impact on the people around you, you're never going to form real, lasting connections.

(getting slightly more personal under the cut)

Whenever I think about this I always consider my own experience with what has, at times, been an extremely crippling panic disorder.

I see a lot of people with similar issues talking about taking care of themselves and whatnot, but it's all about avoidance and accommodation. Maybe I'm about to sound outdated, but it kind of concerns me that nobody talks about being able to overcome things like this anymore?

Some things never go away, my panic disorder has definitely opened doors in my mind that I know can never really be closed now that I've experienced a particular way of thinking, and I will always have some months that are worse than others. Acknowledging that doesn't mean avoiding everything that distresses you. Sometimes, it's better to just have the panic attack, go through the shitty thing, rather than let your fear take something else away from you.

The reality is, avoidance of an issue only allows it to gain ground. Every time you shy away from something because it's uncomfortable or anxiety inducing or upsetting, you are denying yourself an opportunity to live a fuller life.

I'm just so curious to know what it is, exactly, people are striving for when they pursue the image of moral purity and a stress free existence? How are you going to connect with people when you're constantly policing each other, when you cannot foster open, honest connections because you're so afraid of anything even the least bit unsightly inside of yourself or anyone else?

What will you gain from avoiding stress? Fear? Discomfort? How do you shun half of your emotions and still expect to be able to handle them when they inevitably break through?

Obviously, we all have our limits, we all have our boundaries, but the trend of people setting those limits and boundaries at the first sign of discomfort is insanely depressing.

[derangedanomaly]

yugioh anon here again for another imagine :3 saw the post where it turns out they’re only nice to us cuz chaos accidentally got em on a metaphorical leash but i have already gotten attached so face the wrath of blade angst comfort <3

You’d been here for about a month or so, sitting down on a very fancy gothic sofa. It was a contrast to the dull interior, so it must’ve been Chaos attempting to get Nightmare to show his interests more. You only figured out it was Nightmare’s because in bright red ink on the side it reads, “LMAOO NIGHT STOP BEIN AN EMO”. You have a hunch that Blade wrote it. Speaking of, scanning the room he is nowhere to be found. It IS late night but he’s normally still bouncing around. Ace has a book held in his hands as he eagerly tells Ted about a suspenseful plot point that adds onto his earlier theory. Ted seems vaguely interested, but the popcorn is a good motivator to keep him there. Nightmare and Chaos are chatting back in the kitchen. Chaos had been testing out a new recipe and while Nightmare vehemently denies supporting anyone in anything, you can see a smile twist onto his face when Chaos explains how proud he is of his new creation.

… You aren’t sure if they’d notice you leaving. As a new member, nobody had really taken the chance to get to know you. Sure, they are civil and conversate with you but there isn’t a real connection. Chaos is a lovely fellow, but he can’t force everyone to ask about you or how you feel. Crying here would be humiliating. You get up, footsteps thunking less on the carpet than they would on the floor. It doesn’t matter if you’re friends or not, you’re here for a job! You’re not there to make buddies with everyone, it doesn’t mat-

A sound snaps you out of your spiral. Muffled sounds, broken and purposefully hushed. When you do fully hear them, they remind you of how you sounded when you broke your leg. It was violent crying and whimpering coming through that door. What was strange is that the sign had read “Blade”. Blade. He was funny sometimes, a bit of an ass to you but he was an ass to everyone it seemed. Watching anime with him was a fun way to kill time. Thinking about it, you’d not seen many of the other residents chat with him. Chaos, sure, but Ted frowned when he came by and Ace would get up and leave the room sometimes! Nightmare criticizes everyone because cultivating a garden of negativity is all he seems to do. He was like you. He was new even if he’d been there for so long. You knock on his door gently, hoping he’d even listen.

“Blade? Hello?” You whisper, calling out with concern.

No response comes. You expected as much.

“Blade, please? I know we don’t talk all that much but I’m willing to reach out. It.. I know how it feels to be left out, likely not as deeply as any of you but I still understand.” An irritated groan is all you get in response. Acknowledging you is an upgrade from ignoring, probably!

“You don’t have to let me in. I just want you to know you’re not gonna be alone. Not anymore, okay? I think that you’re a fun and silly person but that isn’t all you are. You’re far more than the goofy one in the group. You’re skilled in many things. Battle, listening to others when you want to, dealing with Nightmare’s irritating ‘suggestions’ on what we can do better. I’m willing to bet you’re a bright individual too. That you can get lonely like anyone else. That you’re a complex person who isn’t just one thing. I’m not leaving you behind, okay? Not just because we’re technically a team, but because I care.”

No response. You quietly sigh, but hearing a sniffle and another start of a whisper back shuts you up.

“Alright.. You’re sappy as hell, you know that? Still, I’m up to talk.” He’s reaching back and extending his worries. You smile. Perhaps you’ll both have a friend.

AHH THE WAY I DROPPED EVERYTHING I WAS DOING WHEN I SAW YOU REQUEST ME!!

I swear I'm in love with your imagines! ><

You're always on point with the characters personality, and always super creative! I love this! ^^

Keep blessing me with masterpieces like this, and I'll personally draw something special for you! :D

[nosomatsu]

THE MATSUNO'S STARTER PKMN.

( THIS IS A VERY LONG POST, BTW. )

So this has been a study post that I've been wanting to make for awhile now! This is going to concern their pokemon verse, but more specifically just focusing on their starter 'mons rather than the rest of their team. I'm still working ON the rest of the teams, but I don't think they have more than two or three each .. MAYBE four tops.

Anyways!! The starters!!!!

Growing up, the Matsuno sextuplets always looked identical in every conceivable way. As you can see here, they were always dressed in identical clothing, had identical haircuts, and if you were to just look at the picture as is, then unless you watched the show and remembered this specific episode very well ( from the 80s ) then there's a HIGH CHANCE you won't be able to tell who is who. Not even in the slightest.

Well, this is largely due to Matsuyo's budget, and buying them clothes in bulk. While I have very mixed feelings on her as a mother, when the children were younger she was actually much better to the boys. She DID try to do her best, even though their budget had to have been pretty thin when having to take care of sextuplets she hadn't expected.

While the whole "identical clothes and identical presentation" in every way really REALLY fucked them up in the long run, it isn't exactly something that could be helped too much at this time. THAT'S a ramble saved on her for later, because trust me -- i've dissected everyone in this show a million times over i have SO many thoughts ( might make a sideblog for it or something so i don't constantly overwhelm the dash.. ) . But just know it wasn't done out of malice.

In a pokemon verse, when it comes time for the brothers' first starters ... I'm sure Matsuyo would have bought them in bulk, too. Probably bought a whole LITTER, in fact, so that they were all siblings, too. Thus, the brothers' very first starters ... ... ...

... were eevees.

A nearly identical litter of them, except for one which was shiny ( not that they knew at the time, though. ) Six same faces, six same starters. It's funny how it worked out and fit, isn't it? They recieved them on their 13th birthday, as a gift before starting highschool.

Each of them were allowed to decorate their ball how they wanted, but because there weren't any real pokemon that could be bought wildly, they'd went to a breeder for this purpose. Each of them was given an eevee, with Todomatsu receiving the shiny -- but they largely looked the same. Each of them came with a cheap everstone collar, too, that the boys weren't allowed to take off until they were older and could do more research into evolutions. They're a big responsibility, and there's so much that they could evolve into, after all!

The differences between the brothers -- and the eevee's -- wouldn't really show until around midway through highschool, however. All their lives, for as long as they'd had and raised the eevees, they continued to act as a unit. Then, things super fell apart by their second year -- until their final year, in which they barely talked to one another. Gone were the days of all of them acting like a silly little troupe of performers, or whatever else have you -- no more doing things as a team, or people being able to gawk at them for having identical eevee's belonging to identical faces.

The only eevee to have evolved at all during this time was Jyushimatsu's -- and it'd evolved into Sylveon. It shocked a lot of people, given how rage filled he seemed to act all the time -- how could someone so angry all the time have such a sweet, caring pokemon? Was he really that friendly? It was hard to make a connection between the two, but it was undeniable that he must've been good to his sylveon when nobody was watching.

The other's evolutions' took WAY LONGER, though. And absolutely NONE of them are what the bro's really wanted. You see, most people would probably have their colors match, or be something the brother's actually wanted -- a la,

Oso - flareon Kara - vaporeon Choro - leafeon Ichi - espeon Jyushi - jolteon Todo - shiny sylveon

BUUT.. In my take, what they want is NOT what they get. Actually, they get eeveelutions which reflect the hidden / usually unwanted aspects of themselves that they desperately try to suppress -- Jyushi's initial eevee at the time included. Thus, their evolutions go as so;

Oso - umbreon Kara - leafeon Choro - Espeon Ichi - Flareon Jyushi - Sylveon Todo - shiny glaceon

Each of the brothers has a name pun to their chosen named pokemon; initially, i was gonna give em all a matching suffix like the brothers do with -matsu , but i don't think that even as kids they'd agree on what suffix to match. So, instead, birth order number puns!!!

I will now explain in the order which they evolved for the brothers, and why.

1. JYUSHIMATSU & SYLVEON

Jyushimatsu's eevee was named Gofurou ( 護符郎 ; meaning lucky / five ). It's pokeball was decorated with the number 14, and was in a standard pokeball that he'd handpainted with stunning realistic accuracy to look like a baseball. He is the best artist of the brothers, after all! ( canonically! )

As I already said, Jyushi's was the first to evolve. Despite his rage at the time, and how scary he was as a person there for several years, there was a lot of love he didn't know where to put. So, all that affection and love went into Gofurou.

Where he was standoffish and angry and tense at everyone else and the world around him, all his love and affection went to his Eevee. He never once treated it badly, and was incredibly kind to it (and any other animals/pokemon, really) to the point that when it pawed off it's everstone collar, it'd almost immediately evolved into Sylveon after.

This was to everyone's SURPRISE; at the time, his kindness and his love WAS something that he repressed. However, even with how angry and terrible of a teen Jyushi could be at times, this Sylveon knew that it was loved to it's very core. Eventually, Jyushi turned to the happy go lucky smiley guy we know now, but .. not before some fuckery with the mental world of his and reassurance that it WAS okay to let loose and laugh, something he felt he long forgot how to do.

Throughout all this time, Gofurou was always silly and friendly as Jyushimatsu formerly was / will continue to be post highschool, and honestly, the two of them get along together great! It's even where Jyushimatsu learned how to do the tentacle arms from -- it's wiggly bow is what inspired him!

I think, though, that Jysuhimatsu couldn't really handle more than two or three pokemon at a time tops. For the longest time, Gofurou was his only constant pokemon, but he's never one to restrict their freedom much -- if they don't want to be owned, he'll set them free. Simple as that. He had a few others that dipped in and out of his team, but never ones that really stayed for long as he tended to release them rather fast. But Gofurou was his luckiest pokemon, his lucky charm and reminder that people can change...

Gofurou was there for him through thick and thin -- so .. instead of giving Homura his lucky baseball brace as a parting gift, he gifted her his sylveon. Something to remind her of the good in the world, and that even through the bad it is possible to be loved, and that she was loved. He gave Gofurou to her to protect her and to remind her there is ALWAYS going to be someone who cares. It was tough parting with his partner, but Homura was his first love -- and she needed Goforou's support more than he did.

So, Gofurou no longer lives in the household anymore. It's unlikely he'll really get to even see him again.... But that's okay. As long as Homura is safe, he's perfectly happy with this end result. Even if it does hurt quite a bit, it was his own choice, and one that was certainly for the best. THAT SAID .. I actually do have a hc as to what happens next after, and what pokemon he gets from here -- but I'll save that for another post. ^_^

2. ICHIMATSU & FLAREON

Ichimatsu's eevee is named Sesshi ( 切歯 ; meaning grinding teeth / four ). It's pokeball was rather plain, and the least well taken care of ball out of all the brothers. Eventually, from it's poor care, it had to be replaced with a different ball. He ended up getting a hand-me-down luxury ball from Iyami, but the hinges are kind of eeky there too..

There's a lot of rage within Ichimatsu in his teen years. Rage, and endless depression and emptiness. Not quite in the same way as Jyushimatsu, mind you -- he was actually the opposite. The thing is, as a teen and growing up he was always an incredibly huge people pleaser. Even if that wasn’t his real true personality, and he was immensely struggling with depression, he never really let anyone see it.

It was both frowned upon in japanese society to seek help with mental health issues, as well as generally being due to Ichimatsu being both INCREDIBLY stubborn and painfully anxious when it came to asking for help. Even despite this, he was still sent off to therapy -- but it didn't help him. If anything, it made him far worse, because even when he had his family's support, he only seemed to clam up and close off more rather than open up, which is kind of super vital to therapy. It was made terrible by the fact that he was expected to tell a total stranger about his issues, and well -- Ichimatsu doesn't open up that easily for ANYONE, he never really had.

Although, there was a lot of negativity swirling around in his mind. A WHOLE LOT of rage, of bitterness, of anxiety, of jealousy -- so many bad feelings that didn't have anywhere to go. His eevee had taken notice of this, and it's personality began to reflect his true feelings more and more -- where it used to be the most sociable of the group, at the highest of the hierarchy of eevee's alongside his brothers, it began to grow a little bitter and more aggro to the others. Not enough so that it ever caused egregious harm or anything, but pokemon Do tend to reflect their masters a little... And just as Ichimatsu had become isolated, so too did his eevee start withdrawing as well.

Now, you'd think that he'd get that espeon, right? After all, it totally matched his desire to understand cats more, and it's the most catlike out of all the evolutions. AND it's PURPLE!!! But, the thing about it is -- Ichimatsu isn't a guy that spends a lot of time outside in the daylight; he thrives in the nighttime. Additionally, the ESP kitty incident was only TEMPORARY in the show -- so why would he have an esper eeveelution long term, then?

He'd been preparing for a potential umbreon or espeon evolution for Sesshi anyways, when one day, his 'friends' dragged him out for shopping. While out, they bought a few stones for their pokemon -- but, they got an additional, unneeded one for free. This was a fire stone, and so it was shunted off on Ichimatsu who pretended to happily accept it because of how pushy they were being, even if he didn't want it. But they didn't care if he didn't want it, and quickly moved on, chatting away about some random things that happened that day and leaving Ichimatsu out of the conversation, as usual.

The moment he got home, though, he was pissed off and so fucking tired of masking, that he threw it in the trash bin as hard as he could. There, his eevee had curiously peeked to what got him so angry, and to inspect the strange new scent -- and in the process, touched the fire stone.

So now, Sesshi is a flareon as a result of his anger blindsiding him, ruining his planned evolutions. Just Great... ( i Like to think this is why he has such a resilience to fire now in pokemon verse specifically, though., LOL )

3. KARAMATSU & LEAFEON

Karamatsu's eevee is named Jigo ( 耳語 ; meaning whisper / two ). It's pokeball was rather plain, being in a standard pokeball until it was broken in the rooftop squabble and replaced with a premier ball, and as he got older, he'd added blue glitter and sequins to it.

Karamatsu, ever the painfully shy introvert at heart. In highschool, he was always the most worried and anxious about everything -- and could do very little to hide it. As he got older, he tried to act more and more outgoing and flashy, but at the time of his starter evolving, this was not the case.

Some time after Jyushimatsu's eevee evolved into a sylveon, Karamatsu's had evolved into leafeon. It wasn't really intentional, honestly -- then again, NONE of the brother's evolutions were ... except Todomatsu's, but we'll get to that in a bit. Essentially, what happened was that because he had a lot of anxiety as a teenager, and a lot of worries that he tried to suppress, he'd often go hang out near the fishing ponds to relax. When not there, he'd go to a mossy part of the nearby woods to his house long before it'd been cleared away for sake of expanding the city, and generally quiet places where he couldn't be overwhelmed. The most common place you'd find him at was the park, either getting lost in his own thoughts, or watching the scenery.

Thanks to all the time spent around the greenery, when he was ready to evolve his eevee, he'd honestly wanted an umbreon. He wasn't quite a huge nutty fan of summer or water yet, so no vaporeon was wanted – and  he tended to lean towards preferring spring a bit more. However, what ended up happening was Jigo evolved into a LEAFEON instead.

Jigo's existence as a leafeon, more than anything, really reflects this more reserved side of his. It'd evolved right after the fight on the rooftop, when the fight had been so bad and Karamatsu felt so dejected he didn't even know what to do with himself after losing that letter. And though it wasn't the evolution he'd wanted to aim for, such a turnout actually inspired him to change, too. Even if it wasn't what he wanted, the fact of the matter was that you could still change.

And, really, after a strange domino effect, that's how we ended up with the glitziest, glammest of the bunch of brothers we know now.But that doesn't change the fact that his Leafeon is now pretty rooted in it's quieter, more solitary nature -- no matter how much Karamatsu tries to overdo it and prove he's changed. Leafeon shows the true nature of Karamatsu that he tries so desperately to hide -- which makes the dichotomy between his loud and glammy persona so striking when compared to his timid starter. Kind of like the little kid and his shy pikachu from that pokemon concierge show ...

4. TODOMATSU & GLACEON

Todomatsu's eevee is named Mukurou ( 向く ; meaning turn to face / six ). It's pokeball has been colored in layer after layer of stickers over the years, peeled and redecorated as Totty saw fit, despite it's plain nature. However, as an adult, he replaced it's pokeball with a specialized engraved and elegantly decorated love ball after winning big at pachinko one night. It cost a fortune, but it was worth it to stand out above the others!!! ... probably.

Since they first got their pokemon, Todomatsu had to be stuck with the last eevee. He wasn't very happy that he got the 'weird' eevee out of the bunch, a silver furred one which seemed to sparkle in the sunlight -- cause no matter how much he thought it was pretty, it was also something that kind of made him feel left out from his brothers.

Still, he bonded with this eevee rather quickly; always preening it's fur, it following him everywhere and treated more gently and loved more than he could ever love his brother's pokemon. Even on nights he was incredibly sickly and bedbound, this eevee was there -- and in turn, the two got pretty clingy to one another. As he got older, and less sickly, he started to see a shift in personality which his eevee did not follow.

We all know that post highschool, Totty closed himself off and tried to desperately change, and prove he was nothing like his brothers. By the time he learned that his eevee was a rare shiny, and he wanted to stick out even more, Todomatsu couldn't have been the first to get his evolved. Three of his brothers already evolved theirs before him, and one of them even took Sylveon!!

Not wanting Mukurou to be the same kind of pokemon as any of his bros, and desperate to look even more impressive, Totty settled on his second backup evolution option -- Glaceon! Surely, if he had a shiny glaceon, he'd stand out above all the others!! ( plus, i think ice type reflects his icy personality too ^_^ )

So, when climbing ( the pokemon equivalent of ) Mt. Fuji, he'd made sure to bring Mukurou along ... and there, he successfully trained it enough to evolve into Glaceon. But imagine his disappointment when he realized that shiny glaceon... hardly looks any different from regular glaceon.

It's a reflection of the fact that despite how much he tries to stand out, and insist he's different than his brothers, he really isn't all that different. It really hits that point home -- that no matter what he tries to do HE IS STILL LIKE HIS BROTHERS. he's not as different from them as he tries to make himself out to be, and he's still quite shallow about it, too. This surprisingly didn't really hurt his bond with Mukurou, but it did make him hard turn onto catching and maintaining a different style of cute pokemon, ones that REALLLY stood out from his brothers......

5. CHOROMATSU & ESPEON

Choromatsu's eevee is named Sabiko ( 寂子 ; meaning lonely / three ). It's pokeball used to be very plain, just like Osomatsu's -- but he'd changed it to a limited edition Nyaa-chan ball that he bought for a frankly absurd amount of money. Of COURSE he would be the one to do that.... but hey. At least .... it has cat ears? .. ... ..

For the longest time, Choromatsu actually didn't have plans to evolve his eevee. He was happy with how Sabiko was as is -- a cute little companion, even if it WAS basic by a lot of people's standards. The two of them were total mischief makers when they were younger, but still ended up being the voice of reason quite a bit of the time -- and as the years went by, he was less and less mischievous, and picking up on more and more people pleasing and formal tendencies.

And as he shifted his personality to be that of a more serious straightman to his brothers antics, so too did Sabiko grow in a similar manner. Sabiko was ( and is ) a very odd eevee who tended to really try to mimic Choromatsu's personality always -- seeming incredibly in tune with him and the way he presented himself and reflecting that. The thing is, though, his was one of the last eevee's to evolve.

Choromatsu has always sincerely struggled with his identity as a person, and what sets him apart from his brothers. Even his brothers criticize him for this; a goody two shoes who cares more about what others think rather than ever really thinking of himself. Even when the bullying got bad, he would blame himself or take some odd responsibility -- never really advancing his own personal growth much.

Even as an adult, he still had that same, plain, too-serious eevee -- and even when he wanted it to evolve, he didn't know into what. Anything would have been pretty awesome, but nothing ever really changed -- until the day that he got his first job. Having a job was usually no big deal in the family -- they all picked one up here and there, even if they never lasted long. But this job required that he MOVE OUT. And far away from his family, at that -- in a not so great neighborhood.

It was only as he wrote the final letter to his brothers and packed up his things that he started to realize what he wanted to be. He wanted to be an idol manager, he wanted to have a good job and a good life, and he wanted to be someone that others could look to for guidance. His brothers already kind of did, but he wanted to step up more where he knew Osomatsu never would.

It was only upon moving out and realizing how seriously under prepared he was for all his goals, and being unable to achieve them all at once, that Sabiko evolved into Espeon. It'd happened towards the end of the day, just as the sun was setting, during one of his quiet moments alone at his new shoddy home. Now, he's far more in tune with his own feelings and mind, and when he came back home, everyone had been surprised to see how his eevee had evolved.

That left only one person --- Osomatsu.

Osomatsu, however, wasn't interested in trying to change his eevee, but when he eventually would after about two years or so, it would become an umbreon. Choromatsu having an Espeon vs Osomatsu having an Umbreon also reflects their dynamic; always known for being an inseparable duo ( esp in childhood ), but espeon being the more responsible of the two while umbreon did whatever it wants. At least, that's how i think the popular fanon interpretation goes for them, anyways? But lets roll with it regardless because i think it sounds fascinating. :)

6. OSOMATSU & UMBREON

Osomatsu's eevee is named Koishi ( 小石 ; meaning pebble / one ) It's pokeball is the exact same as the day he got it. Not a single thing has been added to it or changed to make it look any different. The only difference is that it's incredibly scuffed up and dingy from years of use.

Osomatsu's is the final one to evolve of the brothers, and the absolute least likely expected to. Not even Osomatsu HIMSELF expected Koishi to evolve in any capacity!

Ever since Osomatsu was little, he'd always been the ringleader of the group. Mischevious, troublemaking, and ever unchanging, very little changed about him when he became an adult. Even through highschool, he'd been pretty stagnant -- even when his brothers started to drift, and no longer respect him in the way they once did. Osomatsu is a guy who HATES change -- he's incredibly averse to it no matter the context, INCLUDING himself.

So, is it any surprise, then, that he had always wanted to keep his eevee as an eevee?

He never saw an issue with staying stagnant in his personal development -- after all, why should he OR his eevee have to change? They were already super awesome as is!! And besides, if he ever DID evolve his eevee, he'd prefer it be something big and awesome -- like a flareon, or a jolteon!! Though, he never really accounted for the potential of any character growth for himself being the thing to change that.

Not even his brothers ever expected that he or Koishi would change, but there did come a time when his pokemon partner evolved. When the hospital scare happened, and Osomatsu had a ton of reflecting to do, unsure of who he was as a person and if this means he needed to change himself ( which yes, he absolutely did need to better himself as a person ), and after his talk with Totoko, acknowledging such emotions in the moment led to the unexpected growth of himself as a person. Even when he was deadset on never changing due to already hard-rooted expectations of himself from others, and his general hatred of change ...

His eevee, too, reflected that.

Koishi's evolution into that of an umbreon reveals the darker, less touched upon aspects of Osomatsu's personality. The capability to be more responsible and serious, as well as being tied to the dark type of pokemon due to all the bad things ABOUT him really shocked him to his core. He was initially pretty disappointed -- he'd never wanted eevee to evolve in the first place. But all people change eventually, for better or for worse, because such is the way of life. Koishi's surprise change, and his own surprise development, are absolute proof that even the people most rooted in their ways can reflect and change when it's necessary.

From here, forward, he was a little distant to his pokemon -- which baffled and hurt it's feelings, not that Osomatsu knew what to do about it.. It didn't understand why, but as crummy as it is, he just needed a long time to reflect and accept the new change. He bettered himself as a person, just a bit, and re evaluated the way he treated those around him.

Eventually, he adjusted to it though; but it still says more about the things he tries to avoid reflecting on than he'd personally be comfortable with entertaining, usually..

... And there you have it! My take/analysis on all of the brothers' eeveelutions and why they subvert what most people assigned to them! ^_^ Hope you enjoyed, and i have more pokemon hc's coming in the future!!

[spotsupstuff]

I wanna learn more about Blessing / Boreas. What’s up with all the bat flies with him? What’s his city like?

-rubs my hands together like a fly- uuuuuu boy, time to shake my blatantly favorite child Hell yeah huhuhuhuhuuu

the batflies enter the scene a good while after the Mass Ascension- they are his coping mechanism after Zephyr collapses and goes dark!

from the comic where they talk about Euros' n Sparrows' relationship, one can probably guess how close these two are. Boreas might be the big scary dog of the whole Eo family that punches things in the face rather than take any miniscule amount of shit, but when it comes to Zephyr he is very open and sweet. she's the only person who can actually influence his opinions and ideas greatly, because he loves and trusts her enough to allow her to do so. so when she collapses, he takes it the worst out of everyone. in a very quiet way. his pain if for him to keep, nobody else can know he's hurting

bear witness to Ňuňu

this lil shit was basically Boreas' therapy dog. just.. very very feckin teeny

child...

she is as smart as your typical bat, but the thing was that when she accidentally made her way into his chamber, he didn't have much will in himself to send the animal to eeby deeby so she got to flutter about. and as animals do, girlie used the empathy trap card to figure out this person who doesn't seem to be posing any danger is Sad. so she landed on his head, crawled up to look into his eyes and chirped

n that was the straw that broke the camel's back and Boreas had his first grief-inflicted breakdown ever. Ňuňu stayed during it and even after it, so emotionally-empty-feeling Boreas decided to take her in. hardly can replace Zephyr, but at least he isn't alone

Ňuňu later brought friends and Bee decided that he will look after them then. even after Ňuňu passes away, he still houses and raises them. the younglings like sleeping on his antennas so he has to watch himself to not move them too much sometimes. Euros has a folder full of photos like that

to his city- the name kush is:

originally from me looking for latin words for Rage. ended up going with Desaevio, because Bee is indeed positioned in a fitting place for the word

and the storm connection plus the last two are the main reasons why the Ancients called the city as such. after project Abet Zephyr ended in such a failure, they had to vent some stuff out. and we are going to claim that it is anger because that isn't as pitiful as shame or embarrassment

(the fact that almost every translator i put it into gives me "i'm sorry" works wonderfully, too. because what else will ultimately Boreas do, but quietly mutter to himself a mantra of apologies when he'll be lying in his chamber 30 seconds from his death, drowning in his regrets and mistakes?)

Desaevio was capable of comfortably supporting over 5 million people (no other Iterator city ever reaches that far- the max is ambitious Gen 3 cities that only ever reached around an estimate of 2.7 million) but at times housed over 6-7 million. despite lying close to the geographical location of Bergen in real life, Desaevio is very far from reaching such nice vibes (the old towns Boreas' structure overshadows come close, though). it is way closer to New York, but more dystopian. if u look up dystopian city on google images u get to see pretty closely what it looked like. combine it with Coruscant from star wars for bonus authencity with the layering

made up of skyscrapers, with endless layered bridges for means of transport (most commonly expres trains), with what little decoration of the buildings chipped away by time without anybody caring enough to restore the beauty- the grey, gloomy expanse of Desaevio is as majestic to witness as it is absolutely harrowing

with it being a layered city and one with Boreas' consciousness/structure, some wonder when does one truly leaves the borders of the city and enters the giant's actual insides. it's hard to tell, with old models of Iterators not being all that enclosed and isolated like Five Pebbles is. there is no karma gate to tell you when exactly the walls turn from homes for people to homes for wires, tubes and alien-like organic life of a colossal Hivemind

despite the whole "Iterators are above the cloud level" thing, i like to imagine that it rains in Desaevio either way. at least- some levels are just straight up Wet like after rain. but it'd be those normal rains like we have, not the annihilating ones that the old towns need to bear with down below. or maybe it's just the upper layers' waste water seeping through the ceilings

most of light of the lower levels comes from streetlights, neon signs and Boreas' own systems once deep enough

cameras and such security systems litter all the streets and every public room- and the private homes are still accessable by overseers- and All of that feeds directly into Boreas' memory cache

this omnipresence is why Boreas later suffers with the fuckin

nobody is as unhappy with Boreas' omnipresence as Boreas himself. no wonder he's always ticked off, imagine being a witness to All of New York's road rage 24/7

[magxit]

Every time Matty Healy opens his mouth, somebody gets annoyed. Long before his rumoured relationship with international sweetheart Taylor Swift, Healy, the lead singer of the massively irritating pop band The 1975, had mastered the art of winding people up. He has a supple singing voice and is a decent songwriter: but his true vocation, across his decade-plus career, has been treading on strangers’ toes. He’s the Bob Dylan of raising your blood pressure.

Until recently, this was an accepted fact, and nobody cared that he was a bit of an idiot. It was his calling card. You went to see The 1975 because you were partial to their slick, saxophone-fuelled pop – imagine if Radiohead woke one morning and decided they wanted to be a Level 42 covers band – but also because there was a fair chance Healy might do something ludicrous. As he did when he brought his tour to Dublin earlier this year and, in response to an annoying audience chant of “Olé, Olé, Olé,” told 14,000 Irish fans that they were “a simple people”.

Nobody booed; if anything, the crowd lapped it up. Later in the show, Healy, 34, had a slight meltdown and started swinging the mic stand around. In a world where many male rockers want to be a variation of Chris Martin – the colour beige in human form – how refreshing to see a vast, preening ego imploding for our entertainment.

You were reminded that Healy grew up in an acting family: his father, Tim Healy, starred in Auf Wiedersehen, Pet and Benidorm, and his mother, Denise Welch, is best known as Natalie Barnes from Coronation Street. She’s also done panto – and clearly, some of that knockabout energy has filtered down to her son.

What a rollercoaster ride it was watching him in concert. In between these two extremes of sneery git and man-falling-to-pieces, Healy had briefly addressed the audience. “There’s a story [in the papers] calling me a Nazi tomorrow,” he said. “This is true.”

It was indeed true. Healy had been waving his arms earlier in the tour, and a few tabloids had decided he was giving a Hitler salute. The controversy was ludicrous and flamed out. But another online storm has followed Healy around - and has been intensified by his supposed romance with Taylor Swift. It concerns the New York rapper Ice Spice, whom Healy is accused of mocking in a podcast.

He addressed these claims in a new interview with The New Yorker, which seems to have been commissioned not because of The 1975’s streak of decent albums but because he’s been in the audience of Taylor Swift’s US tour (with Swift having joined The 1975 in London in January).

The singer hadn’t insulted Ice Spice but had laughed when the podcast hosts described her as an “Inuit Spice girl” and a “chubby Chinese lady”. The 23-year-old rapper is, in fact, of African-American and Dominican heritage. The details are obviously irrelevant: it’s self-evidently unacceptable to turn someone’s ethnicity or appearance into a punchline.

Healy had, as was only proper, later apologised publicly – saying he didn’t want Ice Spice, real name Isis Naija Gaston, to think he was a “d---”. But that horse had bolted.

He’s shallow, then – but he has depths. Healy is blisteringly honest about his mental health on The 1975’s 2022 LP, Being Funny In A Foreign Language album as well as reflecting on his years of heroin addiction and his romantic split from singer FKA Twigs.

“Oh, I don’t care if you’re insincere / Just tell me what I want to hear,” he sang on All I Need To Hear, a ballad about his need for human support and connection following a reported breakdown. Later, the Cheshire-raised singer said that it was easier “as an English northern person, to be sardonic in the face of something sincere”. The argument he makes on the new LP is that it’s okay to be corny and fake, if your motives are pure.

He has also gleefully played with ideas of masculinity. On the group’s latest tour, Healy sings against briefly projected images of Prince Andrew and of controversial kick boxer-turned-influencer Andrew Tate, whose toxic machismo Healy appeared to skewer.

But in the New Yorker interview, Healy made the broader point that most of the online controversy he has whipped up over the years has been illusory. In an uncharacteristic display of humility, he explained that people don’t think about him that often.

“It doesn’t actually matter,” he told The New Yorker. “Nobody is sitting there at night slumped at their computer, and their boyfriend comes over and goes, ‘What’s wrong, darling?’ and they go, ‘It’s just this thing with Matty Healy.’ That doesn’t happen.”

What about those people who were genuinely offended, wondered The New Yorker? “You’re either deluded or you are, sorry, a liar. You’re either lying that you are hurt, or you’re a bit mental for being hurt. It’s just people going, ‘Oh, there’s a bad thing over there, let me get as close to it as possible so you can see how good I am.’ And I kind of want them to do that, because they’re demonstrating something so base level.”

Swift and Healy have yet to go on the record with their romance – though Swift has gone public with her admiration for Ice Spice, with whom she recorded a new version of her single Karma. But even without confirmation, the very idea of Swift being with an unreconstructed wind-up merchant of Healy’s calibre has vexed a segment of her fanbase, who have urged her to “actively engage in this process of personal and social transformation”.

This touches on the wider issue of how much say fans should have in the personal lives of pop stars (answer: none at all). It also confirms that Healy is a throwback to an older kind of pop star. There was a time when being outrageous wasn’t a career killer – it was part of the job description. Whether it was Ozzy Osbourne biting off the head of a bat or the Gallaghers launching jibes at Blur (before they turned their artillery on each other), part of the fun of being a pop fan was waiting for your favourite artist’s next outrageous outburst.

Healy understands this is part of his job and hasn’t been found wanting. He’s good at it too. In an age where pop is increasingly a story of the bland leading the bland, it is a talent for which he should be praised rather than pilloried.