#and not an insignificant factor in why he owns so much

[of-nyon]

Love Manjoume just being this weird outlier when people try to rank YGO characters based on how '''''strong''''' they are at the card game. "His Ojama deck is weak" that's the point that's the point that's the fucking point

[graysoncritic]

A (Negative) Analysis of Tom Taylor's Nightwing Run - Introduction

Introduction Who is Dick Grayson? What Went Wrong? Dick's Characterization What Went Wrong? Barbara Gordon What Went Wrong? Bludhaven (Part 1, Part 2) What Went Wrong? Melinda Lin Grayson What Went Wrong? Bea Bennett What Went Wrong? Villains Conclusion Bibliography

I want to start this essay by admitting I’m actually embarrassed by its length. Why did I spend so much time on something I dislike? The truth is, I did not begin this with the intention of creating such an extensive, formal study of the Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo’s Nightwing run and how it reflects the wider problems with DC’s handling of one of their most iconic characters. I was just trying to organize the thoughts that came up during discussions with other Dick Grayson fans. Before I knew it, I had enough material, enough desire to challenge myself, and enough frustrations to vent to properly create this monstrosity.

I did not begin this Nightwing run determined to hate it. In fact, I was ready to love it. As Taylor promoted the run before the first issue was officially released, I was so excited for it. As I read short interviews where he discussed Heartless, I could not wait to have a new, incredible villain. Foolishly, I believed Taylor when he said he loved Dick Grayson. 

Needless to say, I was disappointed. Then frustrated. Then angry. The beginning of any story is a period where writer and reader form an indirect bond, and as the story progresses, so do the highs and the lows of said relationship. As such, a reader’s tolerance for negative factors will either increase or decrease depending on their experience up until that point.

In other words, if the writer fails to earn the reader’s trust and instead takes their attention for granted, even seemingly insignificant details become irritating in a way they would not be if presented in a better story. In such scenarios, the reader can no longer overlook those minor moments because there’s little good to balance them out with. It is a death by a thousand cuts. 

In the case of Taylor and Redondo’s run, along with those thousand cuts are also broken bones, internal bleeding, head trauma, and severed limbs. A weak plot, simplistic morality that undermines the story’s stated themes, and, most importantly, a careless disregard for Dick Grayson and everything he stands for utterly destroyed my enjoyment of this series. 

It is still too early to tell what sort of impact Taylor’s (as of time of writing, still unfinished) run will have on Dick Grayson’s future portrayals. But just because we cannot predict its long term significance, it does not mean we cannot critique it. Currently, we simply lack the benefit of hindsight. 

If this essay were to have a thesis, then it is this: Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo’s Nightwing not only fails to tell a compelling Nightwing story, but it also exemplifies a cynical, self-serving, and shallow approach to storytelling that prioritizes creating hollow viral moments to boost the creators’ own online popularity over crafting a good story, honoring the character in their care, and respecting his fans – fans who have, historically, often been women, queer folk, and other individuals who felt othered by a cisheteronormative patriarchal society. Taylor and Redondo’s thoughtless and superficial narrative not only undermine the socially progressive ideals they supposedly care for by propagating a cisheteronormative patriarchal worldview, but they also demonstrate a lack of love and understanding for the character in their care. At best, Taylor and Redondo have no interest in getting to know Dick Grayson, nor any respect for their predecessor and their contributions to this character. At worst, they despise Dick so much that they wish to reinvent him into something completely different, tossing away everything that was special to his fans in order to appeal to a readership that never cared about Dick Grayson. 

I structured this essay so that, hopefully, each part will build on the ones that came prior. Naturally, because all aspects of a story are interlaced, there will be overlaps between each of the sections. As it may have become obvious from this introduction, I’ll be focusing primarily on the writing of this run. That is not to say that I will not address the art, but writing is the field I know most about, and so it feels only fair to focus my critique on that. 

I hope that by the end of this essay, I will have successfully proved that this run’s mishandling of different narrative elements betray a cynical appropriation of progressive ideology and a disregard and disinterest in what makes Dick Grayson so special to so many people. This is an attitude that is present within DC Comics’ current ethos as a whole.

Now, who is this essay for? Honestly, it’s probably not for Tom Taylor fans. I do not believe I’ll be persuading anyone with my writing, and, to be quite honest, neither would I say I wish to do so. Taylor and Redondo’s run has won numerous awards and has many dedicated fans who adore it for what it is. If that is you, then I’m glad. I wish I could be among your numbers. I wish more than anything that I could love this story. But I do not, and I know many others agree with me, and it is to them, I think, that I’m speaking to. As Taylor’s run is praised to heaven and back, I needed a safe space to voice my thoughts. This essay became this safe space. And to others who also feel unseen by the constant praise this run is getting, I think this could speak to you, as well. To be cliche and cringe, this will hopefully let you know that you are not alone. 

Finally, I want to acknowledge some people whose thoughts greatly contributed to the creation of this essay. For around three years now I’ve been having wonderful interactions with other Dick Grayson’s fans, and those discussions were not only incredibly fun and cathartic, but also provided great insight into what needed to be included in this essay. My best friend especially gave me a space to vent when I got frustrated, and my original outline borrowed a lot from the messages I sent her, as well as notes I took for our discussions.  

I’ll also be directly quoting four different Dick Grayson fans (identified as Dick Grayson Fans A, B, and C in order to allow them to keep their anonymity). Their analyses were so critical to the formation of my thesis and for a lot of what will be addressed in this essay that I actually feel like they deserve co-credit in this essay. Dick Grayson Fan B especially deserves a shoutout in helping me track down a couple of pages used as supporting evidence, as I knew what pages I was looking for but was having a hard time remembering in which issue they were located. I’m quoting them with permission, and crediting their ideas and contributions whenever relevant. 

Now, without any further ado, let’s get started. 

[nunalastor]

Serial Roommates

Guy really wanted to know why Lucifer disliked him so much. He can understand Husk since Alastor owns his soul, but hopefully Guy can convince Alastor to let his contracts go, eventually. But Lucifer was a different factor all together. Could it be his friendship with Alastor? He’s heard Lucifer and Alastor don’t really like each other, so it could be hatred of association kind of thing but he’s noticed how Lucifer treats Nifty and Rosie, so it didn’t make sense. Every time they passed each other, Guy would greet him but Lucifer would just give a dirty look.

It became more obvious whenever Alastor and Guy would plan an outing together. Show Guy around hell and reminisce old times, Lucifer would suddenly bring up a task that Alastor would have to do. Like the toilet’s clogged again, guest has an issue, you have paperwork to finish and etc etc. Once Alastor left to deal with one of the tasks, Guy decided to confront Lucifer.

Didn’t work in his favor as the fallen angel refused to even listen to him until he brought up the fact he was trying to redeem Alastor.

“What’s your problem with me? I’m trying to redeem my friend who by the way you hate, so if he gets into heaven you’re never going to see him again.”

Once he said that, Guy could hear a demonic growl and the whole room turned pitched black. The only light source was the glow of Lucifer’s eyes as they glared hatefully at the Angel and his horns already sprouted.

“YOU INSIGNIFICANT INSECT, YOU DARE PRESUME TO KNOW THINGS ABOUT ME?! IF YOU WEREN’T UNDER HEAVEN’S PROTECTION I WOULD TEAR OUT YOUR WINGS BEFORE EVISCERATING YOU!”

“Oh Guy, what did you do to make our majesty so riled up?” A cheerful taunting voice broke through the tension and suddenly the room was filled with light. Lucifer was back to form but still menacing look that promised suffering. He walked towards Alastor and said,

“Alastor, make sure to keep your dog on leash because next time I won’t be so merciful.” That was the only thing he said before he disappeared in red smoke.

👀

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

Hello, thank you for your informative posts, I have learned so much from you! I have question, how big of a distinction were the plebian and patrician labels among the senatorial families? Like, the gens Licinia or Junia were plebian but very politically influential by the late republic. Would their patrician colleagues actually look down on them for being plebs?

Thank you for your kind words! I'm so happy to have a place to infodump, and that it can be fun for others, too.

So, the patrician/plebeian divide gradually shrank from the early republic until the late republic. Early on, it was huge, and it took centuries for plebeians to achieve full representation in government. But by Cicero's time, it hardly mattered. Although patrician families like the Julii were proud of their status, and a few politically insignificant offices were patrician-only, well-connected plebeians like the Sempronii and Caecilii Metelli could outweigh them in prestige and influence.

In fact, in the late republic, being a wealthy plebeian could be an advantage! Only plebeians could become tribunes of the plebs, vote in the plebeian assembly, and at least one consul had to be a plebeian each year. This is why Clodius Pulcher, who wanted to become a tribune, had to get himself "adopted" by a plebeian first and change his status.

Another big factor is that patrician families just...kept dying out, or falling below the wealth threshold to stay in politics. That's what happens when you create a small, exclusive group of families with no regular way to add new members, and you make the cost of staying in that group (funding senatorial careers) very high. The number of patricians eventually dropped so low that Julius Caesar, Augustus, and later emperors had to enroll new patrician families to compensate.

Meanwhile, the plebeian population kept rising thanks to immigration, manumission, and citizenship expansions. As new economic opportunities (like conquest, slave mines and plantations...) arose, many beneficiaries were plebeian families. Sheer force of numbers made it impractical for patricians to keep to their exclusive little club. Caesar's family was one of many that married wealthy, high-flying "new men": Gaius Marius married Caesar's aunt, and Caesar's niece would marry Gaius Octavius, future father of Augustus.

However! Society might change, but people will always find ways to be snobs. In the middle and late republic, the snobbery came from nobiles, families who had at least one consular ancestor, whether patrician or plebeian. And they were snobbiest toward new men like Cicero, who didn't.

We joke a lot about how annoying Cicero was about his achievements. But this is a big part of why he talked himself up: with no "worthy" ancestors, he had to prove his worth to the Roman aristocracy on his own merits, over and over. Still, once he attained the consulship, his descendants could inherit nobile status from him.

[2-dsimp]

Hi NightFlurry again!!

Thank you so much for loving my ideas. I'm an avid reader of your blog and love making my own stories; I always check if you have anything interesting to read or any cool art.

While I was reading your genshin yandere otome game, my brain started churning, and I thought to myself, 'If there's a yandere school au, why can't there be a yandere fantasy au as well' I'm so glad you love my work, I was afraid that it wasn't good enough...ToT Anyways, I'm trying to brainstorm some backgrounds for other characters, so far I'm working on Kazuha, Wanderer, Ei, Dainself, Diluc, Kaeya, and Zongli, but feel free to ask/request for any particular character!!

Also, I love it when people comment back on my work. It makes me feel so happy when I read each comment even if it's as lengthy as 4 paragraphs! So please feel free to comment! P.S. I'd also love to hear your opinions 2-dsimp!!

Bye NightFlurry!!

And thank you for blessing me with such good food o(≧v≦)o

I just came back from a jog so my mind is racing with ideas to share and add onto to the fantasy au from my pov! Firstly I’ll just list off the few possible candidates I can see vying for the readers hand in holy or unholy matrimony depending on what ending you get!

Itto the Terrible (He’s a dragon Oni )/Childe the Abyssal knight. but I’ll probably introduce them sometime later so for now I’ll officially announce…

Tyrant Prince! Scaramouche

He’s shunned by the royals and commoners alike. The royals find him to be unfit for succession of the queens throne simply because he was adopted by the shogun and to add insult to injury he had commoners blood running through his veins or so they thought.

As for the reason why the commoners held Tyrant prince! Scaramouche in such low regards was because of his crass and cold behavior towards them. Just imagine the look of fear, embarrassment, and shock the commoners had when he looked at them like they were mere ants, an insignificant existence that wasn’t befitting of his presence nor his attention. And treated them as such.

Although To be fair, Tyrant prince!Scaramouche wasn’t always that way. In his younger days of youth he used to be sociable and warm towards his subjects. But an incident which brought his downfall into the dark abyss of turmoil. That was done by the hands of one who he thought of as a true friend. Caused his heart to grow cruel and cold towards commoners and nobles as a whole.

To make matters worse his relationship with his mother was already strained to the point where only bitterness remained lingering on his tongue whenever he spoke of her.

Not only that he wasn’t the only one the shogun adopted being the meticulous woman she is she rounded up potential orphans that would carry on her legacy. The succession battle was nothing less then pretty since everyone who was an orphan knew the terrible conditions of those who lacked power. And so every son and daughter had the intention to kill anyone getting in there way.

With those factors Tyrant prince! Scaramouche made a promise to himself to never let anyone in as he was all he had left to salvage what remains of himself. Until he met you someone who reminded him so much of himself and yet the only difference was you were strong enough to try and free yourself from what chained you down. Instead of wallowing in self pity, hatred, and helplessness.

However, with your help he knows that the both of you could take over his kingdom via rebellion and claim revenge on the ones who wronged you both. While You deal with your shameless parents who’ve tried to sell you off into marriage with a fat old rich king from afar. Just for a quick buck to prevent the decline in their poor province.

He will execute any and all loose ends so he can truly be set free as his own person. With Tyrant prince! Scaramouche by your side it’s a guarantee that the two of you will govern his country with nobody to stand in the way of y’all’s powerful reign. All you have to do is accept that your his precious tyrant queen if not well he has his ways of convincing you otherwise. As he’s not the type to keep his hands clean…

“Isn’t the scenery beautiful my queen look at what we accomplished, now that we’re in power no one will be able to defy us nor deny us of our existence. Together we’re unstoppable— My dear why’re are you shedding your precious tears? Aren’t you happy that your family is dead, you wanted them alive you say? Haha you’re joking right? Well I suppose you’re not, I offer my utmost condolences my love but they were the ones who almost prevented us from being together. For that I couldn’t just exile them…No, for such a grave sin it ‘twas only natural that death was the only option available for them to truly repent for what they’ve done.

————/———————/———-

I might post doodles of him sometime later XD

[scribbleweb]

Big Jack Horner headcanons

just a couple because I haven't had much time to ponder him

-despite not having any "tragic" backstory and being meant to be unsympathetic + evil for the sake of being evil, he does actually have issues and reasons for why he is the way he is

-he feels rejected and insignificant compared to fairytale characters, not only was he upstaged by them as a kid, but he was also often mocked for being a simple nursery rhyme character. Notice, after his initial anger, he gets kinda sad/ashamed when it's brought up

-people would often underestimate and dismiss him for his origin, and hes very frustrated at this. It's a big factor to how he became so cutthroat and ruthless, he doesn't want to appear soft or "little" anymore. He's trying to gain respect through fear, because he was disrespected and mocked so much in the past.

-while he had loving parents and stable home life, I imagine his social life was lackluster. Explosive anger and jumping to extremes whenever something went wrong made him push any friends away

-he hates feeling small or irrelevant and that's what drove him down this path, trying to "wow" people wasn't working so he decided to get noticed through darker deeds

-if people won't pay him any mind he's going to Make Them acknowledge him

-he plays up his own evilness to get reactions out of people. Notice his smug face when Gemini Stewart (the Ethical Bug) reacts to Jacks actions. He likes getting peoples attention, it's all about the shock value. Makes him feel big and important, being able to effect people like that

-when people like Gemini pry into his past to understand him, he leaves out the mockery and bullying on purpose (again, doesnt want to be seen as weak and 'just a pathetic bakers boy', in his words. he also just doesnt want to be pitied

-he acts as though he doesn't care what people think of him, but I think subconsciously he still wants to be liked. he doesn't want to be a likable person though, he wants to be liked as is, villainy and all.

-hes too distracted by his thirst for power at present, but in the future he does want "heirs" to his family business. Not because he craves companionship or likes kids, he just wants the company to keep growing and his legacy to go on. It's not something he's actively pursuing, just something he thinks about every so often. Only to again get distracted by his hunt for all things magical

-he's spiteful (of course) but his wish wouldn't actually make him happy long term. Revenge is nice and all, but hes still gonna feel that rejection and self pity deep down.

[valberryy]

as a newly christened albedo haver .............. this was necessary (hiiii @k0kkuri r u proud of me)

more failwives: tighnari. miscellaneous failwife thoughts.

➻ failwife albedo

➻ to the vast majority, ALBEDO seems perfectly deserving of his prince title, in more ways than one — a respected member of the knights of favonius, a talented artist, a caring older brother, a devoted partner... and in most ways, they would definitely be correct! it's not uncommon to see him doing his little experiments up on dragonspine — or rather, notice his absence whenever he's there — and it's even less uncommon to see him accompanying klee somewhere with his trademark fond exasperation, or taking you on a little date around the city.

➻ he doesn't quite seem to mind that this is most people's impression of him, honestly. so long as it doesn't intrude in his personal affairs, people are free to think of him what they want... just, don't let out the many unorthodox ways he's shown his ineptitude in front of you? please?

➻ albedo is definitely the type to leave you little notes or reminders scattered around the house — don't forget your appointment today, or don't go to bed too late, or bring an extra coat with you if you're heading out. it's a habit he's picked up from his frequent absences due to his research: he might be long gone by the time you wake up, but you're sure to find a little note from him under the half-full pot of coffee he left for you.

➻ unfortunately, he's not exactly the type to follow his own advice. on more than one occasion, you've found yourself having to physically bring him lunch because he forgot to bring it himself... despite reminding you not even five hours prior to eat on time. he always offers you a grateful — if awkward — little smile as he takes it from you, his hands always lingering over yours for a few seconds too long.

➻ and while he may apologise for forgetting... there's something almost unrepentant in his tone, or the shameless way he asks, "why don't you keep me company, since you went through the trouble of coming here?", or the fact that this by no means the first time he's forgotten his lunch, and it is far from being his last.

➻ albedo is only really good at cooking fish. he needs to do something with all the fish klee keeps giving him... and he thinks it's quite a waste to throw it all out — not even factoring in how upset she might get about it, or the earful he's definitely going to get from alice afterwards. he sincerely hopes you don't mind eating fish for dinner for the next few days, because he tends to guesstimate how long it takes steak to finish cooking, and archons forbid you let him bake — it is by no means the same principle as mixing together substances in alchemy, no matter how similar he thinks it is. the test tubes in the kitchen seem like some kind of bad omen, too...

➻ he's honestly a very thoughtful partner! albedo remembers even the most seemingly insignificant details about you down to the tiniest detail, like the kinds of flowers you like, or your favourite order at good hunter, or the places you said you would love to visit if you had the time. and while there are many ways to answer these wishes of yours, he always seems intent on picking some of the most difficult ways to do so. a gift is more meaningful if it comes from the heart, after all! or so he says, despite this probably not being the way that saying is meant to be interpreted.

➻ he'll insist on using his alchemy to make you a bouquet of flowers, when it's much easier to pick them himself or buy some from flora, and he'll spend days perfecting the recipe for your favourite food to surprise you with, when perfectly good takeout exists... not to mention the luggage full of souvenirs he brought home for you after the irodori festival! it's rather sweet in its own right, and even if he runs into a couple of mishaps along the way, seeing you smile and laugh — even at his mistakes — never fails to bring a smile to his own face, too.

[yloiseconeillants]

24 for edgy memes, for Medusa please!!

24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

oh cut for bad times

I have written interactions between Medusa and the 7th Scylla Clone on this exact subject, and Medusa is convinced that if she had stayed in Meracydia, she would be dead and that might be preferable to what is going on by the time this conversation occurs. I don't think that's completely out of the question in this case - the war *is* happening, and Meracydia ends up getting scorched, whether by Medusa's hand or some other Allagan nightmare. She'd have a clear conscience, but that doesn't mean much to a corpse.

Morbidity aside, I do think part of the reason that Medusa accepts Emet-Selch's offer in the first place *is* that she's lonely - she's already burned bridges with her family entirely when she left for Allag in the first place, and the idea of someone caring for her (even if technically he cares about someone else entirely) is not an insignificant factor.

So the other point of divergence then would be whether she goes home with Scylla Proper the night of the office party or stays to end up in the World of Darkness and really getting herself entrenched with Amon (and subsequently against Daedalus and Emet-Selch). In which case, I think Scylla would end up betraying her at some point: it's very clear to longer-term members of the Court that Scylla is manipulating Medusa, and she's falling for it entirely. And I don't think at that point anyone would step up to help her either (and why would they?).

I can say that what Medusa *wants* is safety and companionship. She wants to trust people, she wants to rely on others knowing that they will support her, she wants to be soft and comfortable and honest and she does get a bit of that with Scylla m.7 (and almost Antonio's clone too). So there is a bit of a daydream-y 'what if my life was different' aspect to this, combining the rose-colored memories that Emet-Selch has of Ariadne and the illusion of privacy that her own apartment provides her, but she knows that none of that will ever actually work out for her.

[esther-dot]

robb's will is enough for Jon to be kitn actually. rickon is six and sansa is a girl, married to a lannister. since it was written assuming bran and rickon as dead, and there isn't any precedent which clear cut determines whether an older legitimized son would come before a younger trueborn son, but obviously in this situation the lords would support a 17 year old with marital experience over a six year old. but RLJ creates the problem in this perfect resolution and jon and sansa's marriage solves all these problems easily, jon would be the king but he would be taking over the stark name from her.

(about this ask)

I agree that that is a potential way for the story to go, anon. A likely path, even. However….

I respond to asks to chat with/entertain my followers, not because I think I know exactly how the dots will be connected. I wasn’t saying Jon won’t become KitN, I just think it’s premature to assume Robb’s Will is the end all be all when there are a lot of reasons why that solution isn’t the easy one fans assume it is. It being enough is contingent on Jon thinking it is enough and the Northern Lords believing it too. That is contingent not on some clearly expressed law of the land regarding how wills written under false assumptions will be viewed, but on Martin’s planned ending, and even within our own small fandom we have different takes on what that will be. So I think it’s worthwhile to keep detracting factors (in addition to R+L=J) in mind for Jon’s claim, and not assume it’s a done deal.

We don’t only have Robb’s plan to consider, we have how Jon feels about taking something from a Stark to factor in. Obviously he will be moved that Robb did this for him, but we have the guilt issue and the possibility that a trueborn Stark is with him and whether or not his honor will allow him to act on/accept Robb’s wish now that Sansa is no longer in Lannister hands/or that Rickon has shown up alive. And of course, if he accepts and then they show up alive, so much guilt.

We also have how how Jon will be viewed by the Northern Lords and whether their suspicions/fears/own ambitions will be better served by allowing a bastard to be legitimized and inherit over a true-born daughter or younger son. I mean, will they without a word accept that it really is Robb’s Will? Even if they believe it, will they support it when there are true-born Starks around? Because that’s the thing, Martin likes his characters, even minor ones to have agency, so will people think putting Jon in charge will benefit them enough to offset their concerns? Their (potential) fears about Jon shouldn’t be brushed aside as insignificant details in how things will play out in the North.

Can they trust a man who was a turncloak, took an enemy for his lover and then allowed those enemies past the Wall which was meant to protect the North from those enemies, and then was preparing to lead those same people into battle against Northerners? I mean, we know the truth, but the entire series revolves around everyone having their own POVs and limited information so assuming none of that (or like, the desertion/assassination/and fallout…I mean, what kind of rumors will follow that??) will make people uneasy seems unlikely to me. Maybe in the end, Robb’s Will outweighs them, or maybe their fears of how Sansa’s marriage will be used against her will outweigh them, but my point was/is, fans talk about the Sansa/Tyrion marriage as a major issue without acknowledging all the things that will be a problem for Jon.

Perhaps Jon will become KitN, but I’d still expect those things to come up. Maybe someone uses this stuff to sew discord? I just don’t think it’s reasonable to think that characters will share our view of Jon, not with how Martin writes. He’s even said he doesn’t want to write a story where everyone gets together to defeat evil. So, I don’t think everything will be easy in the North, regardless of Robb’s Will, regardless if Jon is KitN or Rickon has that honor, or Sansa is Queen. 

Regardless of all that/however we think it shakes out, I’m not trying to argue this point with anyone. It just seemed to me that while we’re all killing time until we get the book, it doesn’t hurt to consider things from different perspectives. I merely wanted to throw out some ideas we don’t usually discuss because thinking of different factors might result in evolving our spec some/coming up with new possibilities. There are Jonsas who think it goes Jon KitN->Jonsa wedding and those who think it goes Queen Snasa->consort Jon. There are some who think Jon is ultimately exiled. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to point out why, in spite of being a girl, the Northerners might choose to support Sansa over Jon. Or why Jon himself might choose to do so. At the very least, it’s entertaining/interesting (to me) to raise questions and think about things from different angles even if we arrive at the same conclusion.

[mizzmellos]

Death Note was published in Shonen Jump from December 2003 to May 2006. The anime aired between October 4th, 2006 and June 27th, 2007. Death Note is two-decades old. Though a well-crafted series, I find it odd that, of all stories, you still interact with this one the most, especially since you focus most on a ship between a character that showed up for a couple episodes and dies and a character that gets—quite literally—a minute of screen-time in the anime. Don’t you find it odd that you have such a strong connection to two barely-there characters? There are plenty of characters in the Death Note franchise, many of which play a more significant role in the story, and yet you chose some of the most forgettable and unimportant characters to focus so heavily on? It really says something about you that the characters you most obsess over are so insignificant and irrelevant…

You also seem to most identify with Mello, a person who, though he does serve cunt—and he really, really does—cannot get along with anyone, has clear anger issues that cloud his judgement, has worked with criminal organizations, has kidnapped people on numerous occasions during his (very) brief appearance in the Death Note series. Which also says something about your character, does it not?

Though I am not a psychologist, I do possess some deductive reasoning and critical thinking abilities. And, most importantly, the ability to research. A study[1] was done that tested for similarity between a person and their favorite characters, as well as why they viewed characters as being their favorite based on certain factors and character traits. During the study, it was revealed that people are more likely to identify strongly with characters of whom they “regarded as similar to themselves” and “whom they perceived as sharing their own attitudes.”[2]As someone who has stated that they are “too similar to mello,”[3] you seem to follow this logic nicely (you’d be great in a lab. I would recommend submitting yourself as a test subject). You see yourself in Mello, a character whose personality consists of being angry and eating chocolate. I can conclude that you most definitely have anger issues (I believe you have also referenced a similar sentiment multiple times in the past) and that you have bad taste in characters. First, you must understand that every part of Mello is second to someone else. He is not the hottest fashionable blonde. He is not the smartest. He does not have the most compelling rivalry, rage, or arc. He is a mid character and I cannot fathom why he of all is the one you seem to favor so much. He didn’t even win for biggest dick or best head. Your own poll results don’t look very kindly upon him. I would think that you like him so much because you are willing to imprint on the first character with anger issues with a sense of style that you see, except, he wouldn’t be the first, would he? In a show where all the characters are fucked up and fashionable, why Mello? I find it pathetic that you would be so obsessed with a two-decade-old show and even more, you like one of the most forgettable and insignificant characters available? For someone that seems to believe that their opinions are correct, you have no depth, poor taste, and I imagine that, like Mello, in a room full of people you would be seen as inferior and second to all.

Cynthia Hoffner and Martha Buchanan, Young Adults’ Wishful Identification With Television Characters: The Role of Perceived Similarity and Character Attributes (Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2005), https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247503440_Young_Adults'_Wishful_Identification_With_Television_Characters_The_Role_of_Perceived_Similarity_and_Character_Attributes.

Hoffner and Buchanan, Young Adults’ Wishful Identification With Television Characters, 342.

I put a footnote here because I know I can/should cite this but I will not. Find it yourself.

Okay first off I don't speak to anime-only fans so go ahead and jot THAT down and maybe read a book for once in your life 🙄 secondly you could also try showing up to school once and a while because there have been whole academic texts written on sentence-long poetry, let alone the kind of renga M2 is bringing to the table 🤨 elements that may seem surface-level or insignificant to the everyman are actually quite complex to those with a deeper understanding of the medium 🤔🧐 third: serving cunt > everything else and if you don't know that about the world you've got a lot to learn 🤭 fourth: if people don't like me it's because they're wrong and stupid and if people think violence and kidnapping is bad they really need to log off and touch some grass 🙄 like be fr. Fifth I AM a test subject and this blog is the experiment. And you're sooooo jealous that the scientists pay the most attention to me 😇💖 six: I'm gonna give you this one cuz it WAS devastating when he didn't win for best head. 😔 keep your chin up king. Seventh and final point sorry you're wrong again because just like Mello I'm God's specialest little angel and in a room full of people everybody would be looking at my very fat tits (out) and my very shiny beautiful hair 🥰😘😋

Sources: my beautiful mind ☺

[psycadenza]

// also thinking ab how a lot of Tristan’s life comes down to . he tried so hard . he tried to be good, he sacrificed everything to be good, he discarded his entire self for others . he was good . and in the end it doesn’t even matter .

his telepathy is just another extension of how deeply and constantly he’s attuned to and thinking of other people . he knows what they’re feeling, constantly, and their pain hurts him . their happiness brings him happiness . and even so he rly unselfishly wants to make everyone happy and keep everyone safe .

he didn’t choose to be psy/der, he was unceremoniously given the powers never meant for anybody, but if there was one person it would have been unintended for, it would be him . and the only reason he even got the powers was because of his own insignificance to people around him . he wasn’t even a factor when it came down to the dangerous experiment that could potentially escape and bite someone . and the ones supposed to be keeping the spider in check in the first place was his own parents, and they didn’t even think about protecting him .

and even though he didn’t ask for it, and it was unfair, he took up the helm . he took the responsibility, and he dedicated psy/der to the people . he has no secret identity to protect - he knows that even if he was recognized as psy/der, no one would recognize him . that’s not the reason he wears the mask . he wears it because it’s for other people . it’s so they can have a hero that could be any one of them . its a symbol that represents, at its core, that anyone can wear the mask .

and he wears it, and he gives everything . he fights against the worst of the world, and he does it with empathy . he’s a capable fighter, and is fully capable of killing his enemies if he so desired, but he doesn’t . he refuses to kill anyone, and instead listens to their pain . he feels their pain, and instead of wanting to push it away, he allows it in . and he lets that give him empathy for even the worst villains . psy/der can fight, he’s a superhero, but more often than not it’s his kindness and compassion that wins him fights . many villains who encounter him never rise to villainy again, because he either convinces them otherwise or gets them the help they need . he can eliminate villains without bloodshed, and he does . he goes out of his way to .

and even after all of that ? after he gives up himself, puts himself in unspeakable danger, let’s himself suffer, all for the sake of others ? after everything he does for the city that he so cared about ?

he dies as a John Doe with not a single person being able to remember him .

in the end, his efforts didn’t earn him so much as a name to the face . and that’s why I consider his story a tragedy .

[cynicalmusings]

you have no idea how much i want to challenge cyno’s morals right now… in a friendly debate, of course.

because in the archon quest (this is basically not a spoiler because it’s so small), cyno mentions how he doesn’t care about his enemies’ deaths, but does care about his comrades’ deaths.

and i just want to march up to him and point out the fact that his enemies are their own people, too, with families and friends whom they love and who love them back, some possibly with little children at home, and with dreams and aspirations and everything his allies have… the only difference being whose side they’re on. they may think what they’re doing is right as much as what he thinks he’s doing is right, and when it comes to this kind of subjective morality, it’s hard to decide who is objectively ‘more right’ than the other…

and then i want to ask him: if you were on your enemies’ side (to which he’d probably say that he would never side with them, to which i’d say just go with the hypothetical example, okay?), would you still not care about their deaths? or would you, just because they’re your allies now? the people themselves aren’t changing when you join or fight them, so why should the side you’re on dictate whether you care about someone’s death or not? as i said, they’re still the same people, and the only thing changing is the light you view them in: emphasis on view them in. so should something as insignificant in the grande scheme of things as allies vs enemies be the deciding factor for how you view the taking of another’s life— that ‘other’ being just as much of a person as you and your friends?

which isn’t necessarily to say that you should mourn the deaths of your enemies, but not caring at all about taking the life of another person just because they’re fighting against you doesn’t quite sit with me right…

[itbeleeeee]

Sorry, long Stranger Things rant ahead. Spoilers, btw

Would it kill the industry to get some consistent writers??? Like when I write I have to know EVERY DETAIL in case I need it down the line, and the writers just... FORGOT Will's birthday??? Y'know...the Main Goddamn Character, that has been paid DIRT this season? THAT one??

And the whole Steve-Nancy-Jonathan business??? Like yeah talking to people about tough things is hard and pretending things are a-okay is a lot easier to cope with, but Nancy was over Steve. Steve was growing away from the douche persona that only cared about himself and just following in his father’s footsteps. He cared about the kids, about his friends that he made in his fucked-up life and was moving on from the girl that he thought he needed. But noOooOOoo, he has to be this cookie-cutter character that wants the kids and the house and the girl and he had a little growth, but in just didn’t matter. Steve still loves Nancy, Jonathan loves Nancy but is still lying to her because he’s afraid of losing her but doesn’t know how to tell her, and Nancy is caught between the has-been and the now-doing... and instead of talking to her fucking partner about it or talking to Steve about it she does nothing and pretends everything is fine, which is totally what her character would do, yep!! Totally!! I’m totally not being sarcastic!!

(The thing that bothers me most about this is, as someone on both aro and ace spectrums, I thought that Steve would be that sort of representation that would show that you didn’t have to be in a romantic relationship to feel important or loved. That finally, there would be a character who had a love interest in the beginning, and then realizes gradually that they don’t need that to feel like a person, they didn’t need a relationship to be validated. I was thinking, “Hey, Steve has the kids and Robin and Eddie ((Rip, we’ll get to him in a sec)), and maybe Nancy and Jonathan. He’ll be protective and a self-sacrificing idiot that will eventually be saved by someone because that’s who he is, but will learn an important lesson at the end of the day” but there was NONE of that. He went back to Nancy because it’s impossible for Steve “The Hair” Harrington to be on his own and he has to have a love interest at all times. Seriously, fuck that dude. He was such a good character, and now there’s this bullshit.)

Now the queer representation.... I’m not exactly surprised how that turned out but with the amount that the Duffers were talking about Will and all the hints that were dropped, only for him to have one moment with Mike in the back of the van that the oblivious mfer didn’t pick up on and one moment with Jonathan (that was very sweet, I quite liked that scene)... it was like.. wtf?? That’s it??? Will only slightly alludes to it and Jonathan says he loves Will for who he is, and then Mike goes and tells El his life started when he met her?? Will is so much more than Sad and Gay, but that isn’t how the people that wrote him treat him. And it’s implied that Robin is going to get together with Vickie, who is a side character and has been seen three times in the whole show. Like I really kinda did want Ronance to happen, but it was a stretch and I understand why they didn’t go in that direction but still it just kinda sucks that the only confirmed lesbian character is dating someone who is insignificant in this series. 

And Eddie. Sweet, sweet Eddie Munson who did not deserve this. His death I feel was absolutely more shock factor than anything else than give Dustin motivation for later on and...emotional value??? Idk, the fact that he was so queer-coded and an immediate fan-favorite only for him to die in the end? And to be the only character that died (when there were several teases that more characters would die)? It’s just ridiculous. Someone else on here pointed out that the writers probably had no way of clearing his name so they killed him off instead of... idk.... writing out a solution for him and I’m inclined to agree. It’s just a cheap shot at emotional shock value when there were like 20 other people to pick from.

WHICH brings me to my final point, WHY WAS HE THE ONLY ONE WHO DIED?? Yeah, I was heartbroken when Max “died”. I would have been even more upset if Steve or Robin or Dustin died. I would have been heartbroken, which is what would have made this show so much better. I came into this thinking, “Okay, at least three people are gonna die, and I need to prepare myself”, but it just didn’t happen?? Instead of just keeping her dead Max is now in a coma and probably blind and all of her limbs are broken. Like, huh??? What’s the f u c k i n g point??? She’s definitely 10x more traumatized than she already was and what can she do about it? Absolutely nothing. Characters dying sucks.. but it feels like the show means business when it kills of a main character. If Steve had died like I and so many others feared, it would have meant that we had so much more to fear because it would have made us think about who was next. It would have made us value the time we got with the character that died, and to carry on writing about the character or drawing them to preserve our memory of them. It would have resulted in the audience seeing a new side of some of the characters who were close to the passing character and show us how they dealt with the death of a loved one. Like we’re gonna see that with Dustin in his relation to Eddie but that was really...it. Mike gave 0 fucks and Lucas was worried about Max (respectfully), and nobody else really knew him and the town hated him. If Steve had died?? We might have seen the elusive Harrington parents and their reaction to their son dying, we might have seen Nancy grieve over someone who was very close to her for a long time and then suddenly wasn’t in her life as much. We might have seen Robin who hasn’t dealt with death in relation to the Upside Down yet, break down over her close friend dying to protect her or something equally heroic. Eddie (I give 0 fucks about Jason. Did he even die?? Does anyone really care??) was a dumb sacrifice that wasn’t justified or deserved and I will not forget this injustice. Fuck you, Duffers.

Can I also mention that the “Two Days Later” thing was dumb? Like I’m sorry we just skip over some potentially crucial moments for the sake of moving the story along and easy writing? How did Nancy, Robin, and Steve react to seeing Dustin holding Eddie’s body? Was Erica okay and how did she react to seeing Max like she was? How did Max wake up? What happened to the, uh, idk, giant hole in the middle of goddamn Hawkins? Doing a flash-forward doesn’t solve all your damn issues, it’s sloppy writing if you’re just using one to move the reader past all the unanswered questions.

The last two episodes just kind of pissed me off. There was so much that went unsaid and unfinished, when I was expecting it to be finished. It was like the first part was one season and part two was an entirely different part. They had consistent ideas for part one and then lost all their notes and then suddenly had memory-loss for a few days and then started on a whole new season until they suddenly remembered they had 7 episodes out already. Takeaway here is: consistency is key. Get a beta reader or two. Actually re-read your work.

I dunno. I don’t know. I’m frustrated. I’m disappointed. And I’m a tad angry.

[antisolararc]

Gimme 1 4 and 10 for Meridian 🙏

What would completely break your character?

They've involved themselves with a lot of people in precarious situations, and they're... well-enough acquainted with the concept of death. Still, though, if someone they loved, someone who chose to stay with them out of genuine friendship and commitment, died... and it was explicitly their fault? Not just something they could have stopped, but something that was actually their fault.

Maybe they've been in a terrible situation before that is... larger in scale. But I think that's actually the reason they would struggle so much with something on a personal level. Meridian is not, in fact, over it (despite what they may say), and the fact that they've actually managed to create more meaningful relationships in the present than in the past is a huge factor as to why they haven't, uh, lost it. But, oh, for things to fall apart, and with such finality, at their own hands?

What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

Meridian doesn't remember a lot of their past, and a lot of the things they do remember seem random. Things at their parents' antique shop that never sold. Light shows at the night market when they were a child. An awful, embarrassing history presentation they did when they were 14. The sound of tree frogs singing on rainy nights. Taking the public ferry alone when they weren't supposed to. Meeting an old, blind pirate one time. They are very sentimental.

What would your character make a scene in public about?

That's not something that would happen easily - they are an incredibly avoidant person. It almost feels like a cheat to just say he'd do it on Audrist's behalf, but, well... Audrist gets a lot of shit from, uh, many parts of society, and while he certainly isn't passive, Meridian is obviously more physically capable of, uh, doing something. And it would be a physical scene. Verbal sparring isn't something they enjoy at all, nor is it something they're particularly skillful in.

[openingpandorasbox1]

FROM DIARY TO BLOG

FROM DIARY TO BLOG

The one regret I have when keeping a diary is that I didn’t write dates down. I thought it was pointless since no one would read it. When I write in my diary, I write it either on the day or the next day so all events are still fresh in my mind, so everything is as precise as possible.

I’m a hoarder, I’ve got so much paperwork that I’ve kept over the years, books of diary entries, and lists that I’ve written down. Birthday cards, Christmas cards, and shit like that. This is one of the reasons why I am putting my diaries onto a blog, so I can get rid of all the paperwork. When you move you certainly realize how much shit you own. I feel like I’m a bit of a hoarder but not as bad as those people you see on those Hoarder TV programs. I was watching this Hoarder program once and this woman’s house was so full of shit that the cleaners found a dead flat cat. She didn’t even know it was there.

I don’t want to lose my memories, I wouldn’t feel comfortable deleting them completely; it would be almost like I was deleting myself. I’ve started throwing out cards (birthday etc.) from people that I am no longer in contact with, as well as some photos, etc.

I was watching The Living Room one night and Peter Walsh was on it and he is an expert on hoarding and organizing. He said that if you want to hold onto a memory, instead of holding onto the item itself, take photos of it and then give it away to charity.

All my blog posts were written at the time they took place, whether I had written about it on the day it took place or the day after. So they are accurate and detailed as to what took place. When I have rewritten them into my blog, I have kept them exactly the same as they are in my diary, if I have changed anything it is grammar. Under some blog posts, I have added an update if there is any. If there are any inaccuracies in my diaries, they would be little and insignificant. I’m a realist and I stand by the truth whether it is good or bad. Everything in my blog is raw, and I know a lot of people don’t like the truth. I stand by the truth, and no matter how idiotic it may appear throughout this blog, I’m just being honest. This is how I express myself; I love writing and find it a lot easier to convey my feelings in writing than verbally. Some people express themselves in writing and other people express themselves verbally and then there are others who express themselves through art or music. We shouldn’t condemn people for expressing themselves differently to others, as we are all different and one is no more superior than the other.

If anybody ever does read my blog in the future, they won’t see many positive entries; this is due to me writing to get things off my chest. In all honesty, I have experienced more negatives in my life than positives, it’s not how I wanted it to be, but that’s how it was and how it is. That’s not how I wanted my life to go and it’s not through my own doing, it’s just how life pans out. Some people have better lives than others and most of the time many factors in our life aren’t ours the choosing.

Judy said that I’ve had a lot of weirdos in my life and she’s right, it’s an accurate remark. I shake my head with shame and don’t understand why I associated with those people at all. I don’t regret my diary or my blog, but I do regret tolerating toxic people for as long as I did. Keeping a diary has helped me move on. It has also helped me observe my own patterns and it’s also helped me notice the patterns of those around me.

Blogs online can be a positive thing because when you share your own experience, you are also helping those who can relate.

Those people who I have written about in my blog were toxic, however, they weren’t toxic all the time and they had a good side and good traits. I do have a habit of overlooking people’s negatives to focus on their positives. I haven’t had that many good people in my life, in fact not many at all. Bad people aren’t bad all the time. That's why I had them in my life.

Keeping a diary has helped me see a pattern and helped me understand the motivation behind what they were doing.

               When I posted my diary entries to my blog, I change the names of the people and have given them all alias. I don’t name to shame, this blog isn’t motivated by revenge as I care very little for revenge. I don’t believe the toxic individuals I’ve had in my life are sorry for what they have done to me and I don’t think they will ever be sorry, most of them are way too selfish for that. They are toxic and narcissistic and some are sociopaths. They won’t acknowledge the truth and that is why I am uncomfortable being in a relationship with them. If they won’t accept how they have mistreated me and others, they will continue to repeat patterns.

               Even some of the people in my life who I thought I could trust and who would be good to me have put a knife in my back. It’s hard to trust people. I trust strangers more than the people I have known, I’ve had more family members and friends hurting me than strangers. When people stab me in the back I am no longer surprised, that’s where I’m at today, I’m used to it.

               Even though I’ve mainly had toxic people in my life, I’ve had a few cool people in my life as well. However, I rarely see or hear from them. I don’t have anyone who is there, I mean really there. There have been some people who have been in my life and drifted away, family members, friends, and acquaintances, people I haven’t had any issues with, they sort of disappear with their own life and I still hold a fondness for those people. They were good people but not everyone is meant to be in your life, even the good ones. I just let people live their own life and wish them the best in life. You don’t have to have a fight or a falling out with someone for them to leave your life. The main reason why I don’t write about good people in my life is because they don’t give me a reason to write about them. There are times when I have mentioned these people slightly in my blog because they were present at certain events which I have written about. The positive people who have been in my life are not perfect by any means, I’m not perfect, and no one is. These people are those who give me the feeling of serenity and peace - some people just give you that and you don’t have to be close friends with them to feel like that around certain people. There are just certain people you can be around who you can feel comfortable with. I don’t need to vent or rant about any of those people because they haven’t caused me any trouble. I may not have any outstanding happy memories with them to write down but I don’t recall them causing me any pain.

               Nobody I know or have known, knows about this blog and will most likely never will. If they do come across it will be through chance and won’t be through any doing of my own. If they do ever come across it and become upset because I’ve written the truth down, I still won’t regret keeping this blog. If they didn’t want me to write it down they shouldn’t have done bad things to me or to someone else.

               This blog is largely ignored and no one reads it or views it. If anybody takes an interest in my blog it’s because of the images or memes I post and not for any other reason than that. I’m not sure how long this blog will last in cyberspace, a lot of websites disappear after a while, and all their content with it. Even websites don’t last forever, so I’m guessing that’s why people write things down on paper because you can’t trust websites or the internet. At least paper lasts longer. If my blog ever disappears then my life will then disappear forever. I don’t believe anyone today or in the future will find this blog of any interest.

               Another reason to keep a diary is to help you get on with your life. If you don’t keep a diary, you will forget all the bad things that people have done to you and will only remember the good times which will put you at risk of going back into a relationship with a toxic person. You should never forget the toxic behavior that a person has imposed on you. If they do it once then they most likely will do it again, especially if they aren’t sincerely sorry. From my own personal experience, when someone has done wrong to me, they won’t say sorry, most of them have usually lied about what happened (gaslight), and if on the rare occasion, they say ‘sorry’ (which most don’t) they are only saying it to get away with it and so they can do it again on a later date. Their sorry isn’t sincere or genuine; their sorry is a lie as well. They all react with deceit. If someone does wrong to me or to someone else and I stand up for myself or for someone else, most of the time they will just call me a ‘bitch’. I often read that women get called ‘difficult’ when standing up for themselves, but realistically who gets called ‘difficult’? I don’t know any woman who gets termed ‘difficult. They get called a ‘bitch’ and that’s what we get called when we don't take shit lying down.

I don’t think people should forget the bad things that people have done to them, if they are out of your life, remember the reason why. If you forget, or turn a blind eye to it because you feeling lonely, they will come back into your life and fuck you all over again, that is what toxic people do. It’s important to move on and let go, but you should never forget what happened.

I know within my own life that I’ve forgiven people who weren’t sorry for what they have done to me. I kept them in my life and I’ve made that mistake too many times. I’ve kept people in my life for too long when they never deserved to be in my life in the first place. That is one of my biggest mistakes, it was my mistake and I was at fault for keeping them in my life. They only had me in their life so they could hurt me again. When I keep a diary I rarely go back to it to read it, however, when I started posting them onto my blog that is the first time when I read back on them and I noticed patterns of myself and other people around me. I wish I had read my diary back earlier, if I had, I would have not put up with as much shit for the duration that I had. This is why I believe it’s important to keep a diary as it serves as a warning, not only about other people but also about yourself. Previous experiences bring wisdom and growth.

               I most likely do have toxic people in my present life and most likely will in my future, we all will, that’s life. You won’t know they are toxic at first; they will be all nice, sometimes it can take weeks, months, or years before you work out that someone is toxic. I’m a realist and I know that not everyone in your life will be good, that’s just the truth. If you think everything will be all roses and rainbows in the future, you are delusional. Reality isn’t that kind or naïve. I hope in the future I will meet more good people who are emotionally more mature. I just want people in my life who are genuine, caring, good-natured, respectful, and who will stand by me (as long as they don’t suffocate me because I’m an introvert). It doesn’t matter how many people I’ve had in my life, I’ve always felt alone because realistically I was alone that entire time. I’ve spent my entire life having to stand on my own regardless of the family and friends I've had around me. It was always me, myself, and I - I have learned that I have to stand on my own feet and I can’t rely on another person. I always have to fight my own battles whilst my family and friends stood in silence and were submissive or they would take the side of the toxic person. Even if someone is your parent, family member, partner, or friend it doesn’t mean they care about you or will stand by you. I’ve always dreamed and fantasized about having people in my life who care about me and will stand by me. I dream of having good parents, a good partner, and good friends - not perfect, but have a good heart and who sincerely like me. Just people who care about me. I’ve had too many fake people in my life, I can’t deal with people smiling at me and then stabbing me in the back. The reason why I stand up for other people is because I know what it is like to be alone. It’s difficult to be surrounded by family and friends knowing that those people don’t really give a damn about you.

               Keeping a diary is good for your mental health; it could save your life. Keeping a diary has helped me a lot. When no one is there for you, when you are attacked when people criticize you are put down, when no one cares when you are ignored; at least you have a diary to confide in. Even though I’m putting this public, I don’t care for attention, I hate attention, to be honest, and I’m an introvert. I don’t mind being alone, I feel serenity in my own company as there’s no hate here.

Even if no one will care about your diary or your blog, start one anyway especially if you like writing and you find it hard to communicate verbally. Don’t start a diary to gain allies, to be popular, to get sympathy, or to get revenge, start it to benefit you and to help you get things off your chest. A diary should be a friend you can talk to. It’s important to care about yourself because realistically when you get older, you will realize those who you thought cared, actually don’t. You have to be your own best friend and treat yourself right. Don’t rely on another person for happiness or for a sense of importance.

               People in the future may hate me for writing down the truth. In perspective, nobody has been upset or angry with anybody who has hurt me and done wrong to me. Nobody gets angry with those people, it’s okay for them to go around treating me and other people like shit. Nobody should feel they have to live in silence especially after people have done wrong to them. My life has been far from happy or glamorous, it’s been a series of disappointments. I won’t have anybody trying to change the truth or making me feel bad about conversing the truth. I just have to be honest and straightforward. This has been my life; it’s the only one I’ve known.

….

This blog consists of extracts from my diary throughout the years (taken from private diaries which I've written from over the years).

All names have been changed to protect the identity of all individuals.

All diary entries were written at the time of the event or a day later.

If there are any inaccuracies they will be only minor and usually due to grammar mistakes & typos, etc.

I haven't always written diary dates in my diary because I thought when I was writing in my diary, writing the dates was pointless. However, there were times when I did write dates (or years) in my diary with particular diary entries.

These diary entries were written without the intention of anyone to ever read them which is why they are raw and deeply honest.

I'm anti-bullying and anti-abuse and I have published this diary in an attempt to curb bullying and abuse by posting diary posts of my own experiences of being bullied and emotionally abused. I hope if anybody has gone through something similar we can all thrive and come out as better people from it. We need to send the message out there that bullying and abuse is never okay.

I'm also against censorship.

#keepingadiary#blogging#peterwalsh#thelivingroom#hoarders

[feralreason]

Life at The Mi.ller House™️ to give an idea of what William grew up with (tw for abuse talk)

So Henry took William in as his not-son once he got a small two-bedroom home in Re.no. William was thrilled to have his own bedroom - a space that was his (something he had never had before). It even had a window overlooking the backyard which he was very fond of. Henry even allowed him to decorate it... if he had anything, which William didn't.

Despite being in his twenties, William was treated more like a teenager. He wasn't allowed to do anything without permission from Henry first. Cooking, leaving the house, buying things. He also couldn't drive. Considering that before he met him, William had been a homeless teenager who had to resort to crime to survive, he was actually rather happy to have stability and eager to follow the rules. He wanted to be A Good and Obedient Son.

William had no real relationships outside of Henry either. He couldn't go anywhere without Henry's allowance, and as I have mentioned before, there was this awkward barrier when the Diner staff may have been around his age-ish but he was their boss, technically.

Everything Henry did with William was to: 1. reinforce William's cultish levels of loyalty to him and 2. make sure no outside factors steered William off the path Henry needed him on. Thus, Henry did not allow William to do much. Attempts to go out and socialise, or get some independence or just grow as a person were swiftly shut down.Henry would humour William a little bit to offer some breadcrumbs (he was fond of movie nights since it is a "bonding activity" but he doesn't have to talk to William) and helped him learn to read and got him into robotics. Enough so that William could help, and so - just as Henry predicted - he would be indebted to him.

Since William has/had literally no other reference, this worked perfectly and it helped paint his glasses with a thick layer of rose tint. Henry taught him to read! Gave him a job! Watched movies with him! Created a special character just for him! How can anyone think he is a monster? He was kind enough to do all of this for lowly, insignificant, unwanted William Af.ton.

As for the abuse, that was an easy one. Henry simply made William believe that it's his fault. Thus, why he phrases physical abuse as "lessons". If William would just get it right, then Henry wouldn't hit him or strike him with a wrench or choke him just within an inch of murder.