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#and now i have a new person i can associate that date with
haechannabelle · 1 year
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hey guys big announcement
choi s.coups seungcheol has reached ult ult status. is this because of a dream that i had last night ? no, that's crazy. why would you even ask that
edit: i ended up writing way more down in the tags than up here but that counts as part of the post sorry
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benevolentvampire · 4 months
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#i'm in like. a weird grey area.#i know that I'm not like. a uniquely horrible person.#there are people out there who've done the same thing as me but fully intentionally and without regretting it#but also all these posts that are like 'your past actions don't define you!' 'forgive yourself and move on!'#don't really take into account someone who's done something as awful as i have. so like.#no actually i don't think that raping my ex is something i can just forgive myself for and move on#i think if it Was then that'd be even worse#'don't carry your guilt forever!' okay then what am i supposed to do with it.#i definitely don't want to put it on him lmao. he's suffering enough without having to deal with my bullshit too#and it's not exactly something i can just bring up to vent to friends about.#only two of my friends know the full story bc i'm just too ashamed to give anyone else more than just#a vague 'i unintentionally crossed an important boundary and betrayed his trust#i know if i ever dated someone new then they'd have a right to know. it's not something i could hide in good conscience#so every time i see posts like that i'm just. what do you want me to do with it then#i feel like anything Other than carrying it forever would be unfair to him. why should he have to suffer ptsd for life while i'm fine#idk. i just needed to throw thoughts into the void. I'll shut up now.#if any of my followers see this and decide to unfollow or block me i understand. i wouldn't want to associate with me either.#rape tw#vent
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heavenangelly · 8 months
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Make manifesting fun for you
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Manifesting is meant to be fun. You’re meant to enjoy it and have a carefree attitude towards it. You’re not meant to cr¥ and scre@m and become d€pre$$ed and d€$per@te because of manifesting. That’s not the Law.
I want manifestation to be fun again for you guys. I want you to effortlessly get your manifestations and literally never be on tumblr / twitter or any social media because of how much you’re enjoying life and being a master manifester.
Here’s how to make manifestation fun again:
- Do methods. Methods are quite controversial in this community and you most definitely do not have to do them if you don’t want to, but you can if you do want to. Types of methods consist of: daydreaming/visualisation, vaunting, bragging, scripting, affirming, subliminals, placebos, lullaby, SATS, vision boards, Pinterest, etc. pick which one resonates with you the most and stick with it. An important thing to note though, is that it’s not the method that manifests, it’s YOU and your ACCEPTANCE of the desire/wish fulfilled.
- Work on your mindset/self concept. I’m going to flat out say this is important. It helps tremendously. I used to hate having to do it but once I did, it made manifestation WAYYYY easier. And it’s not a process although popular belief says it is. It’s just a decision to no longer be who you want to be and then sustaining/continue being who you do want to be / the mindset you want to have. It’s that easy. You don’t even need to think about it. Now this will help you because you no longer think you’re a v1ct1m and manifestation becomes more natural and easy, therefore making it carefree and chill and removing the desperate need for something because you’re secure in your abilities that it’s already yours.
- Make challenges for yourself. Make 2 day challenges where you live in the end for those days, with whatever rules you want and doing whatever you want to do. You can say that today you will manifest 2 desires or whatever you want. Test yourself, know yourself, do whatever you want to. Do not be hard on yourself if you do not complete it. Just try again with a new and more determined mindset.
- Experiment with the law. Like I said above, get to know what works with you. Build your confidence in yourself and the law. Manifest a butterfly following you around, do whatever you want. The law is fun and personal. Manifest “illogical and impossible” things.
- Attitude. Now this kind of ties in with mindset/self concept but I recommend having a positive attitude towards manifestation. Obviously whatever you assume to be true is true, so use that to your advantage. Look at the law is a new light, in a positive one. In a lifestyle way. Don’t associate it with negative things and trying, but instead associate it with a new ch@nce at l1f€, a lifestyle, a way to be fr€€.
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to manifest xyz before any specific date or just in general put pressure on yourself. Be kind to yourself. The law is incredibly simple and literally only requires you to trust in yourself/imagination and know that you already have what you want / are what you want while being not even caring about the 3d.
Make manifestation your safe space. Make imagination your heaven. Make manifesting easy for yourself. Build new assumptions. Play around with the law. Be unique. Get off of tumblr / twitter and have fun.
Read Neville if you want, listen to Edward Art, make your own rules, have fun. The law, again, is personal. Make it your heaven, not your h€ll.
Just be and have fun.
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eccentricwritingbaby · 3 months
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arm candy
lando norris x reader
summary - enemies to lovers as the two embark on a pr relationship. reader is heavily based on cristina yang and olivia pope - intelligent and knows her worth. lando treats her as just a piece of ass on his arm. the two need to keep up appearances, yet always have time to find a fight. 
masterlist
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-
“i’m sorry,” you can’t help but laugh into the conference room, “you want me to what?” your father just sighs across from you in his seat, already knowing his head strong daughter would make a fuss over this. 
“y/n…” he starts, but you shoot him a look to stop, quickly. 
“i’m sorry, are you my pimp or my father?” you ask with a mocking behavior. 
“stop, y/n,” he grits out, “stop it,”
“fine,” you shrug, rolling your eyes. 
the room was filled with five people. your father, you, adam norris, lando norris, and some mean little woman who came in meaning business and barking orders. you respected her. 
your dad and lando’s dad had been business associates for a long time, never close friends, but acquaintances nonetheless. you had never met lando before, but had definitely heard about his escapades. 
“listen,” the woman starts again, “lando needs someone normal and successful on his arm, not anymore models or influencers that last only a day and alter his image, his image needs to be clean, squeaky clean,”
“oh my god,” you laugh out in disbelief, “i can’t believe i went to an ivy university just to be someone’s high end hooker-”
“Y/N!” you dad stands from his chair, “that’s enough out of you,”
“dad, this is ridiculous-”
“no its not, it’s business,” he stands firmly on his ground, “it’s four months of fake fucking dating just suck it up and do it,”
“fine,” you mumble out, “but only for you,”
your dad takes his seat again, grumbling out a few apologies to lando and his father along with the woman. they all just nod their head as she moves along with certain details. you finally look up from where you were fiddling with your fingers, making eye contact with your new ‘boyfriend’. he sends you a quiet look of reassurance, most likely that he didn’t want to be there either. you both give each other a smile, and your mind hopes that this might be okay. 
-
“so,” lando starts, attempting to break the tension on your first fake date.
“so,” you laugh, “how are you?”
“i think we can skip the pleasantries, y/n,” he chuckles, “we’ve technically been dating for four months?”
“oh right,” you continue to play along, “met you one week ago, but we’re madly in love,”
lando chuckles into his drink before the waiter comes over to get you started. once ordered, lando glances up at you, and you can’t help but find the small twinkle in his eye adorable. and then he speaks.
“you look like someone who i would go out with, without your personality, though”
“what’s that supposed to mean?” you question in offense.
“i mean usually my type is-”
“girls with half a brain?” you attempt to finish for him, but he just sharpens his gaze in your direction, eyebrows furrowing at your accusation.
“no,” he denies, “just girls who are a bit quieter,”
“so, pushovers?”
“not exactly,”
“you just want a little hot minion to control?”
“no,” he tries again, attempting to find the right words, “someone who isn’t rude,”
“oh you think i’m rude?”
“did you hear yourself in the meeting? talking to your dad like that? acting like the smartest person in the room-”
“i was the smartest person in that room,” you bite back to him, “and i’m sorry i didn’t enjoy the action of being pimped out, it’s offensive to my degrees and accomplishments-”
“you aren’t being pimped out, it’s a favor-”
“oh,” you scoff, “a favor?”
“yes, a favor, you probably aren’t used to hearing that word because you’re so self-centered,” he pushes.
“and here’s two words you do probably hear often, fuck off,”
“the rest of this dinner will be in silence,” lando directs to you, the waiter now coming over with your food. 
“finally, something we can agree on,”
-
you and lando had now been fake dating for two months. you came and went from his races, he was here and there at events in your honor, you both were successfully fulfilling your duties. the public was eating it up, excited that lando was in his ‘boyfriend era’. you both in reality were still finding each other difficult. lando found you to be pretentious and rude, you found lando to be a spoiled dick. but that was all pushed aside when it came to being in public. 
you heard the knuckles wrap on your door, and you attempt to brush the tears from your eyes swiftly. shit. you had lost track of time while on the phone with your mom, well, arguing with your mom. you forgot that lando was meeting you at your apartment soon to take a pre scheduled outing. getting up after hearing the knock once more, you make your way to open the door. 
“hey,” he grunts out, before he looks at your reddened eyes, “what’s wrong?” his tone softens with the question. 
“nothing,” you brush off, “let me just redo my makeup and i’ll be ready to go,”
“wait, y/n,” lando stops you from leaving the room, “talk to me, what’s going on?”
“you don’t want to hear about this, lan,” he catches himself smiling at the nickname that slipped off your tongue. 
“i have a heart, y’know,” he jokes quietly to you, bringing his hand up to give you a slight poke in the ribs. 
“no, really?” you ask sarcastically.
“yes, now talk to me,” he laughs to you, still trying to break you out of your shell. 
“it’s just the divorce,” you shake your head, “my parents have made me their middle man since they’ve been separated, and now i have to be my sibling's therapist too,” you choke up, trying to swallow back your tears. 
“i’m sorry, y/n,” lando moves forward, beginning to wrap his arms around you. 
“i’ve just gotta be there for everyone,” you sigh, “it’s been like that since i was a kid, i’ll be fine,”
“well,” lando starts, “i can be there for you,”
“like hell,” you laugh off, starting your trek to the bathroom.
“i’m serious,” lando pushes, “i know we’re at each other's throats, but if you need anything, you can talk to me,”
“thanks,” you squeak out, “you’re not so bad, norris,”
“why thank you, y/l/n. you’re not so bad yourself,”
-
it was race day, and you were actually excited. you and lando had a breakthrough the night he caught you crying. you both finally broke down the wall that divided and protected your hearts. you were feeling better about spending the next few months with him, it was going to be a relief to actually enjoy it. 
“are you ready, y/n?” lando calls out from the other room. 
“yeah!” you shout back, sliding your left foot into your final shoe. lando steps out of the room, dripped head to toe in papaya, bag slung lightly over his shoulder. 
“you look great,” he lets go of the compliment and you find yourself blushing, choosing to stare down at your feet instead of making eye contact. lando holds his hand you and you grasp it eagerly, readying yourselves for the show about to be put on. or was it a show?
once at the track, your hands finally separate as he heads to the garage and you move towards where his father was standing. 
“hey, mr. norris,” you greet with a smile at the older gentleman.
“please, y/n. how many times do i have to tell you to call me adam?” he chuckles with you. 
“i’m sorry, it’s just too unnatural for me,”
“well please, try,” you continue with your laughs, “mr. norris is my father,”
“alright,” you giggle, cringing a bit before squeaking out, “adam,”
“there we go!” you both joke around a bit more before a certain curly-haired mclaren driver is jogging over to you both.
“hey, dad,” he greets adam with a quick pat to his shoulder, “can i steal her for a second?” adam nods, giving you both some space as lando starts dragging you over to a quieter area.
“what’s up, lan?” you ask him, a bit of concern in your voice since you were unsure of what was going on. 
“i need to talk to you,” he sighs out, eyes holding an emotion you couldn’t put a finger on.
“what’s going on? are you okay?”
“yeah, yeah,” he shakes off, now grabbing your hands in his, “i just- i just-”
“LANDO!” his engineer calls from the garage behind him, “WE NEED YOU IN THE CAR!”
“TWO SECONDS!” he yells back over his shoulder, now turning back to face you, “listen, i really like you,”
“oh,” your eyes widen in surprise but lando just keeps rambling. 
“and not in this fake, bullshit way. i want to really take you out even if you drive me crazy sometimes,”
“lando-” you try to cut him off, but he just keeps going. 
“i can’t handle your rejection before i race so, if you’re by the gate after i finish, i’ll take it as you feel the same way,” taking a deep breath after his confession, lando leans in, kissing you roughly before pulling away and running back to the garage. you stand there for a moment, trying to process what had happened before a smile breaks out across your face. 
lando came in fourth. you cheered and cried, jumped up and down with his family and friends, and then you took off. you started your sprint to the gate, ready to meet him and finally bask in your own happiness. ready to choose yourself for once. 
you rush towards the wall just as lando is climbing out of his car. his head whips around to the barrier, searching for your face. once spotted, he breaks out in a similar sprint as you did, rushing towards you for a hug. you breathe in the moment, you and lando holding each other, for real this time, finally. 
-
you both were a giggly mess as you made your way back to the hotel room. 
“you’re coming out tonight, right?” he asks, arms not leaving your waist since you had left the paddock. 
“yeah, i’m coming,” you reply, brushing your hands up and down his arms that were wrapped around your middle. 
“okay, good,” his forehead meets yours, relishing in the feeling of you being in his arms, in private, “so my room or yours tonight?” he asks in a joking tone, referring to the two bedroom suite you were in. 
“mine,” you laugh quietly, “it smells better,” you poke him in the stomach a bit and he just chuckles with you. 
“you don’t like the smell of my race gear, love?” 
“no thank you, sir,”
“alright, well go get ready, and we’ll head out in about an hour?” lando shoo’s you to your room, patting your bum as you turn around, causing you to blush as you exit. 
later, at the club, you’re seated in the vip area with some of the drivers and a few friends. lando’s arm has been wrapped around your shoulder or waist all night, the tension between you two turning slowly from annoyance to lust. kisses stolen when they can be, waist being squeezed, and overall eye contact has made you a puddle in lando’s hands. you were falling for him, deeply. and you could tell he was too. until. he spoke. 
“that’s a nice lady you’ve got on your arm there, lando,” one of the guys in the section shouts to your boyfriend. 
“thanks, mate,” he shouts back, pulling you closer into his side. the man approaches the both of you, beginning to chat to lando about his race earlier. your mind quietly drifts out of the conversation, before you’re pulled back in as the man, now learning his name to be jack, introduces you to his girlfriend. the both of them were very fitting for each other, eyes wide open with nothing going on behind them. 
you strike up a conversation with the woman in front you about her shoes, before glance over and finding your boyfriend eyeing her up and down with ease. he catches your eyes and looks away, his arm pulling you in even closer than before. you just scoff in his direction and begin to get up from your seating. lando lets out a quick apology to the couple in front of you before chasing after you out of the vip section.
“y/n! wait! where are you going?” he shouts over the music and into your ear.
“i’m leaving,” you grunt out, continuing pushing past people in your pursuit for the exit. 
“why?”
“oh please,” you let out a laugh, finally reaching your destination and swiftly leaving the building. now in a quieter atmosphere, lando drops his voice and grabs you, forcing you to look at him, “i saw you looking, lando,”
“what? at the girl with jack?”
“yeah, i saw you checking her out,” your face hardens, morphing into the one you sported the first two months of getting to know lando. the one you had on when you didn’t like him, scaring the man in front of you as he watches, “i thought you were different, but i guess then again, people never change-”
“stop, y/n,” lando sternly speaks, “i am different, i like you. not her,”
“funny way of showing it,” you laugh, “i mean the both of them couldn’t even handle an intelligent conversation if they tried,”
“it always comes back to this with you doesn’t it?” he asks, now pushing you towards his car and retrieving his keys. 
“what does that mean?”
“you always have to be the smartest, huh?”
“that’s not what that is,” you shake him off, the both of you now entering his car before you continue, “it’s just embarrassing that you would prefer beauty over brains,”
“i don’t do that,” he whips his head around to face you, “i just appreciate attractive women, are you saying smart women can’t also be attractive?”
“don’t twist my words,” you shoot back, “just drive the damn car,”
-
“i cannot stand you when you’re like this,” lando grunts out as you arrive back into your hotel room. 
“like what?” you push back, moving to place your hands on your hips in defiance, ready for the fight about to unfold. 
“a-an arrogant, selfish, cocky-” he starts to stutter out his list, but you promptly cut him off. 
“it sounds like you’re describing yourself there,”
“no, that’s all you,”
“oh really?” you taunt, your eyes boring into his with fire, “says the guy who has only one race win under his belt but acts like he’s big shit-”
“SHUT UP!” he screams out at you, but you only push him further. 
“you want to call me arrogant, baby, we both are. it’s the only fucking thing we have in common,” you mockingly laugh in his direction, his head now fuming.
“you’re so-”
“right? correct? because i am. we both are arrogant and confident however the hell you want to spin it, who the fuck says that’s a bad thing?” you ask him as his eyes start to soften, “and i am not arrogant. i’m good at what i do, that is a simple fact,” you huff, catching your breath after your anger begins to cool. 
“you are right,” he sighs, “i guess we’re so alike that we didn’t even notice,”
“i am not like you,” you shake your head.
“and why would that be such a bad thing? you met me at the gate, remember?”
“because i am not some womanizer who just uses girls, not taking one glance at anything but their tits,” you snap at him. 
“i didn’t use you, and you know i think you’re beautiful, y/n,” lando attempts to calm the situation, but it only riles you up further.
“oh fuck that,” you spit out, lando taking a step back from you in surprise at your reaction, “fuck beautiful, if you want to compliment me,” you sneer in his direction, bringing up a finger to point in his face, “compliment my brain,” with your final say, you turn quickly on your heel in order to walk out the door. 
“y/n!” lando shouts, “stop,” he jogs over to you, grabbing your arm and moving your body to face him, “listen, i’m sorry,” he sighs, his free hand not wrapped around your arm running down his face, “i know you’re pretty good at what you do,”
“pretty good?” you scoff, “i’m great,”
“i’m trying to apologize here,”
“then apologize, correctly,” you emphasize, sharpening your gaze at him, “and don’t be sorry, be better,”
“that’s what i’m trying to say,” lando pleads, “i’m trying to tell you that i will be better,” 
“don’t tell me, show me,” you push, “i’m not your little play thing, lando. i’m not one of your little side hoes with no brain and just eyes for your money,” he scoffs at your vulgar words, but let’s you continue, “i have my own money and my own brain. i am not a body and face to just show up on your arm, you want me like you say you want me?” you rhetorically ask him, inching your face closer to his, “you have to earn me,”
“i will earn you, y/n. i want to earn you,”
“acting like this won’t get you there. i deserve better,”
“i will be better,” now with your faces inches apart, trading breath from each other’s mouths, you and lando finally quiet your everlasting argument, “let me show you, please,”
“i don’t know you, i don’t know if you’ll just say this and then go back to being a dick when you get bored,” you release your insecurities to him, his eyes softening at your vulnerability - something you rarely let out. 
“do you know who anyone really is?” he asks you, voice now quiet and gentle as his hand that was gripping your arm now begins to softly stroke it, “that’s the beauty of life, y/n,”
“getting hurt?”
“no,” he shakes his head with a laugh, “the unknown,”
“i don’t like not knowing,” you sigh, your soft side now coming out fully.
“i know,” he breathes out, “you’ve always had your entire life planned for you, y/n. it’s time you just relax, and have the ability to be surprised,”
“but what if i do get hurt?”
“with me around?” he chuckles, moving a centimeter away from your face, “that won’t happen,” he gives your forehead a light peck, “and if it does,” now a peck on your nose, “i’ll be around to help you,” and finally your lips. you give a hum of appreciation to his lips, basking in the warmth they gave you. finally separating in order to catch your breath, your foreheads rest together, eyes never leaving the others, “you don’t have to be alone anymore, y/n. you don’t have to do it all by yourself,”
“thank you,” you sigh, tears beginning to form in your waterline, “for everything,”
“no, thank you,” he replies back quickly, “for bringing me back down to earth,”
“i’ll always be around to humble you,” you giggle in his arms as he laughs with you.
“and i, you,”
-
a/n - this is not proofread so i'm so sorry if its a rambling mess, i just had the idea and wanted to write it up before i lost it
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yumeka-sxf · 2 months
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According to this tweet from Endo, today's new chapter will be the final installment of the "Henry x Martha backstory" arc...and it definitely went out on a high note! The part where Martha meets Henry's wife was absolutely heartbreaking...in particular the below page, starting with an upside down view of the scene, showing how the world is literally warping for Martha, followed by shards and shreds of her various memories with Henry, all the while the "throb, throb" of her heart is overlaying all the panels. Definitely one of Endo's best portrayals of a truly shocking moment.
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It's also interesting that we never see Lucia's face, despite her having a big panel when she first appears.
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Endo has done this before with other characters, Loid's parents being the other big example. We also never see their faces, despite them appearing several times during his flashback arc.
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With the few examples we've had, to me it seems like Endo hides the faces of characters who 1) appear as flashbacks only and 2) who have had a significant emotional impact on the character whose memories they appear in, but at the same time, that character has since done their best to get over the painful memories associated with them. So they basically represent some past trauma for the character (even if they don't necessarily dislike them) but in the current time, they've more or less left that part of their past behind. Hence why their faces are obscured in the character's memories. This is also why I think we'll never see Loid's parents or Lucia's faces outside of flashbacks. This is just my interpretation of course, and I'm curious if there will be more examples in other characters' flashback arcs.
But back to Henry and Martha, I also liked the fact that, despite her broken heart, Martha still saw Lucia as a good person and became friends with her. Henry seems to love her as well. This actually ties back very well to what Martha tells Becky at the end of her story about how dangerous it is to latch onto preconceptions and prejudices without knowing the truth.
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In Becky's simple world, she would see Lucia as the "evil seductress who stole Henry away" and Martha has to get him back. But as Martha said, things aren't always that simple and don't always adhere to our preconceived notions. Sometimes things can't end up exactly how you want or expect, so you have to be grateful for what you have and see things as they truly are, despite living with lingering regrets. In fact, this whole speech from Martha at the conclusion of her flashback was extremely deep and profound. Not many people can write both comedy and drama so well, but Endo is certainly one of them.
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Also, is this Wiesel's first appearance? Still waiting for the doggy play date chapter with Wiesel, Bond, Max, and Aaron! 🐶
Since it's been so long since I read the first chapter of this arc, I couldn't remember if Martha had actually revealed the identity of her lover in her story, but makes sense that she didn't. I can imagine Becky storming into school yelling at Henderson and causing total embarrassment for all 😅 Funny that she almost guessed correctly though.
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I'm surprised we never found out how Martha started working for the Blackbells, but that's an easy enough mystery to solve - she needed work after the wars were over, and being a bodyguard suited an ex-soldier. Also seems like she never told Henry her true feelings either...maybe by the time Lucia died, it was too late and they had both grown somewhat apart by then, and/or they had some additional falling outs about Martha joining the other wars, etc. It just wasn't meant to be and the message of the story was Martha coming to terms with that and being wiser for it.
In conclusion, this was a great arc that really shows Endo's range as a writer who can do both comedy and drama very well. Despite Henry and Martha being side characters, I have a feeling that the struggles they experienced will have relevance later in the series. But for now, I look forward to seeing the Forgers and other characters again (and getting back to the last major uproar of Anya telling Damian about her powers...seems like ages ago, lol). Endo will be taking a well deserved break, so the next new chapter will be on August 19th!
I also have some new posts planned in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for those as well 😀
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kaibutsushidousha · 6 months
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Kodaka April Fools tweets 2024
Lying just because it's April Fools' is so dull. Honestly painful to watch. Lying in general doesn't do you any good. In my younger days, I told every lie I could, saying some genuinely insane stuff about being a supreme leader of evil and whatnot, and thanks to that, now that I'm in my thirties, I got famous for all the wrong reasons and can't find a stable job because people think I'm associated with the yakuza... Sigh, I wanna deck my cringe younger self's face. Quit lying for fun while you can.
My classmates aren't doing great either. Thinking you're hot shit during your school days always comes back to bite you... My advice to my past self: slow and steady effort is worth more than any talent. Also, the part of life you spent larping with that silly horse laugh is not going to be one you'll want to remember later. I wish I could make that clear to him. White lies aren't a thing. Talent is never enough. My class is proof of that. Wanna know what my classmates are like now that we're in our thirties?
Akamatsu became a piano teacher. Her player skills capped off in her teens, it seems. But she's not that good at teaching so she's considered kinda mid at her job. And now she's struggling with the father of a student incessantly hitting on her. Tough world to live in.
Toujou opened a housekeeping company but she was too strict with her employees so everyone quit. And now she's doing everything on her own. Sucks to be in your thirties without any successors or employees. She's a prime example of how being so much better than anyone else doesn't do you any good. Well, she's always working for celebrities, so she's doing well financially, but I heard about some major court fight about a missing item under suspicion of theft from one of her clients. That can't be nice.
Yumeno got to her thirties still saying magic is real, so she's past the point of no return. She agrees that's an unhinged way to live, but she's too old to suddenly change gimmicks. Work takes her all over the country, but her gimmick doesn't allow her to publicly drink, so she has to get plastered alone in her hotel room after shows. I wish she could fix her life with real magic.
Harukawa? ...Haven't heard that name in a long time. Now she was a living edgy fantasy. The past tense was because I hadn't heard of her in a long time. I don't know the details, but apparently, she went to some war zone outside of Japan because her first love didn't want to date her. Takes some real edgelord to react to a broken heart like that, but if she's still alive, I have no idea how her thirties are treating her. My personal guess is that she's a mother of many.
Chabashira opened her Aikido school but is having a hard time attracting students. So she had the idea of starting an anti-sexual-harassment campaign that could double as advertisement, but thanks to her cluelessness when it comes to romance, she got canceled for mistakenly tossing men in regular couples. She's still doing the "degenerate males" bit in her thirties. Girl really needs to get on with the times. Rumor goes that she still downs huge packs of tequila bottles with Yumeno every now and then. Really don't think there's any salvaging her reputation.
Shirogane is an office lady still continuing her cosplay hobby on the side. She could be doing well if she knew how to keep her mouth shut but frequently rambles about cosplay history and etiquette, so no one likes having her around. Stay emotionally dependent on a single hobby long enough and your passion starts to close you off to others. That's her problem.
Angie was the most successful in the class! She made big money both on the art and the religion fronts. However, there were some controversies about her devotees selling counterfeits of her paintings at exorbitant prices and one magazine made a huge news coverage of it, which resulted in her catching the police's attention. She's been recently untraceable, with the rumors saying that she'll never be back to Japan.
Oh, and Iruma... Up until some point, she had the best life of all of us. She made big money off of her inventions' patents. So far so good. Things only started going off-rails after she married an ex-stripper. The two started a YouTube channel together. And later, her husband ran in last year's elections and lost big time. They got an awful debt from his election campaign and she had to get into side jobs to pay it off. And her husband? Disappeared. No word from Iruma herself about what happened. Tough world to live in.
No further updates from Kodaka in the past 3 hours, so I assume he went to sleep and will come back to tweet about the 7 remaining boys in the morning.
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cryptidghostgirl · 7 months
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Lovely (Lucifer x Reader)
Pairing: Lucifer x Reader
Description: Lucifer had heard rumor of the demon with the ability to alter people's memories. Y/n was a marvel and he had her wrapped right around his pinky.
Warnings: Same angst, new target.
Word Count: 1,631
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List
A/N This fic is inspired by Spud Cannon's song Lovely. Also don't mind me and my silly little Latin obsessed brain (Lucifer translates to light bringer and is a combination of the latin verb ferre, to bring, and lux, light. I fuck around with that in this.)
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That was what had drawn her to him first: the elegance. Lucifer was a graceful man, a beautiful man, a terribly sad person. In retrospect, that should have been Y/n's sign to take a step back but, it is always so difficult to find the right path in the moment. He had seemed so utterly heartbroken, because, as she now knew, he was so utterly heartbroken, and Y/n had thought: maybe I can help?
Her motivations had just been that at first, helping. It wasn't her fault that he was charming and funny and did things that made her want to be more than friends with him with such alarming regularity that it felt like her life was the worst rollercoaster at an amusement park. The one with eight billion sharp turns and uncomfortable seats that left rider's tailbones bruised. It was almost too much to bear.
Lucifer had heard rumors of the demon who had been gifted with the ability to alter people's memories. It had never been gossip that had interested him much until Lilith had left. Suddenly, his mind had felt like a curse. In the throws of despair, he had looked for her, hunted her down. It hadn't take long, he was Lucifer after all. When he was the one asking the questions, few dared to defy.
The shop was a hole in the wall, drenched in the smell of incense and covered in crystals and other odd objects of curiosity. Lucifer could've sworn he recognized the imp horns on the wall but, ignored it. He was there for a reason and asking questions like that were not the path to his end goal.
The demon herself, the famed mystery, was statuesque. She had sat her table in the back of the shop, draped in jewelry made of bones and gold. She had gifted him the first session free of charge.
In order to keep the pain at bay, Lucifer had been required to come to her shop at least once a month. Y/n was a comfort to him, he associated her with the feeling of relief. The two became fast friends.
"Light bringer." she would beckon him in with a smile, "Still counting those forget-me-nots?"
She spoke to him in Latin, in his first eternal language. She weaved images in the air with the smoke from her fires. She was amazing, a miracle worker. Lucifer was grateful for her, for her skill.
Y/n knew the truth behind it. She tried to ignore it, tried to still her raging heart. She knew it was doomed, had seen with her own eyes the way he was still so in love with someone else. Still, when he had asked her on that first date, a year into them knowing one another, she hadn't been able to bring herself to refuse. He had been so sweet, so earnest, so cheesy. He had asked her to be his and she had told him the truth: she already was.
It was a constant state of denial, one big, overwhelming lie she convinced herself was true. In the beginning, Lucifer had been a doting partner. He surprised her with flowers, he always tried to make her smile. It had all stopped the day she had told him she couldn't use her gift on him anymore.
"Why not?" he has asked, alarmed.
"Because, Ferende Lucem (man bringing light), it's not healthy. I can't make things go away forever, just hide them. You still need to deal with them eventually."
Y/n had thought it was time, had figured that two years of dating and three years of knowing one another would be enough. She had been wrong. Lucifer had ceased in his affections in all but name. No longer was she whisked away to the palace, no longer did she wake to one of his creations on her bedside table.
After about a month, she had decided to take things into her own hands. She refused to recede into the gaps he was creating, refused to just let this all go. Y/n loved him, truly. She wouldn't let the love die without a fight.
The palace guards knew her well, had let her in without question. After some searching, Y/n had found Lucifer locked away in his office. The place smelled of despair. He didn't turn from his empty desk at the sound of the door opening.
"Light Bringer." Y/n hummed softly, rapping a knuckle on the already open door, "Counting your forget-me-not's?"
She hadn't asked him that in years, not since before they had gotten together. He lifted his head from his hands, looking over his shoulder just the slightest bit.
"Malefica (witch)." he replied, his voice low and hollow.
Y/n smiled softly at the pet name and entered the room, letting the door stand open in her wake. She approached him, wrapping her arms around his tired shoulders and pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head.
"Please." Lucifer's voice cracked, "Please take them from me. It's too much, they're too heavy."
Y/n didn't reply, simply nestling her chin into his hair.
"Y/n, please."
"You know I can't do that." she sighed, "It's not healthy."
"This is what is not healthy."
Y/n let go of him and turned his chair so they faced one another. She kneeled down on the ground before him, clasping his hands in her own. His eyes were ringed with red. In that moment, they weren't a fallen angel and a demon, they were just two people. Two people in love and two people housing broken hearts they lied to themselves to stitch back together.
"Lucifer." her eyes searched his face.
It was rare she called him by his true name. The gravity of the moment clung to their skin.
"Lucifer, what am I to you?"
He looked away. Y/n sighed, her heart cracking straight down the middle within the confines of her chest.
"Can I..." she cleared her throat, steeling her nerves, "Am I ever going to be what you're looking for?"
Lucifer's eyes snapped back to Y/n.
"You are what I'm looking for." he insisted, taking his trembling hands from hers and cupping them gently around her face, "You, Y/n, are my sweet little magician, my salve."
"My magic is, you mean."
Lucifer had always been a terrible liar. It was one of the things Y/n loved about him, the way the truth bubbled to the surface of his being. Right now, she wished he could be the best liar on the planet, the best in all of Hell. Right now, she wished she could've been born blind.
Y/n got to her feet, Lucifer's hands hanging in the air where they had held her last. There was no more running, no more hiding from the truth. This was the precipice, the breaking point, the fall.
"You're my salve." he repeated again, his voice soft and sounding like he was trying to convince himself of the fact as much as he was trying to get through to her.
"Don't lie to me." Y/n demanded, tears pressing behind her eyes, "Don't. Just... just don't."
Oh how she wished she could turn back time, set the clocks to zero.
"You never loved me, did you?"
The question hung unanswered in the air. Y/n had known it for a long time, had known it since the beginning to be perfectly honest but saying it out loud made it all the more real. She was dazed, spinning, out of control.
"You don't love me."
"I wish I could. I'm..."
Y/n scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and holding back tears. She looked away.
"I'm sorry."
"I'll see myself out, I guess."
She hoped he'd call out for her, run after her into the hallway, ask if they could try again could start over. Of course Lucifer did no such thing.
For all the things she had helped her clients forget over the years, Y/n understood them even more now than she ever had before. It was complicated. Now she was going to have to reshape her life. If she ever saw him in the street, it would be her duty to pretend she didn't know him. The memories spawned the terror of potential futures, dreams where things worked out, where everything was okay. They sent her mind reeling.
She had known, all along she had feared the worst and feared confirmation of her knowledge. That was the worst part, it hadn't even been a surprise. It had simply been just that, a confirmation of the truth.
The world caved in around her as she walked home, houses and shops and people all blurring together into something undistinguished and undefinable.
Lovely, that's what he was. In all his misfortune, in all his despair, in all his grace. Lovely but oh god, oh god he didn't love her. Not the way she wanted him to. Not the way she loved him.
Y/n pulled the curtains shut to her little shop, moving methodically and without thought. She sat down at the table in the back, before the pot of incense. She lit it.
Not once in all her years had she ever tried to do use her magic on herself. It seemed like a line in the sand, something utterly forbidden. Y/n shut her eyes.
When she reopened them, the world felt different. Time had passed, she could tell it had but her mind refused to give shape to the years.
"So this is what it must feel like." she mumbled aloud, noticing the remnants of her ritual spread out on the table before her, "I wonder what happened."
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astroismypassion · 1 year
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Astrology observations 🪐🪐🪐
Credit goes to @astroismypassion
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🪐When you have Pluto in the 7th house in your Solar Return chart that year you might feel tempted to sabotage your personal, one on one relationships, romantic partnerships, friendships and committed partnerships in order to form new ones. You will want to destroy them just so you can build new ones.
🪐If you have Pluto in the 3rd house in Synastry chart you two will be very competitive with each other, especially in running, cycling etc.
🪐People with Pisces Moon/Pisces IC or Pisces over the 4th house tend to find their one true love after they retire. Usually these people spend a lifetime finding a partner that doesn't make them feel lonely.
🪐With Pluto in the 7th house in the Solar Return chart you might enter a legal contract that year that could bring you debt the years following, so stay mindful with what you are signing when you have Solar Return Pluto in the 7th house.
🪐Mercury in the 5th house natives are extra competitive when playing board games. They desire to win at all costs.
🪐I noticed that whenever you connect with the Sun sign person of your Moon sign, for example you have Aries Moon in the 4th house and you connect with Aries Sun or Cancer Sun, you feel like you have hard time connecting with them through your own CURRENT interests. Because the Moon is so connected with the past, your childhood, upbringing and your growing up. With them you are always pulled in the past and nostalgia. You spend a lot of time talking about hobbies, interests that you've done in the PAST, but not so much actively, in the present moment. It's like they remind you only of the activities, interests, hobbies and passions that you had in childhood or while growing up, but it's much harder to sync in with them through your active, current interests that you have in your adult life.
🪐Mars in the 9th house always need to listen to music while they are doing an activity or while they are active, walking around the city, on their way to somewhere, while in transportation or during sports.
🪐Moving on to celebrity world, I find interesting how rappers Cardi B and Offset, who are married released song Jealousy since both have Scorpio Venus in their Natal charts. They are quite literally making money (Venus) off jealousy (Scorpio theme).
🪐The 2nd house shows on who you are spending your money on. So when someone puts their personal planets into your 2nd house, you spend a lot of money of them. And vice versa, when someone has your sign over their 2nd house, they might spend a lot of money on you. But with so not that often discussed, is that it goes the same for your Part of Fortune sign. If you have Sagittarius Part of Fortune, a Sagittarius Sun might give you money or spend a lot on you, buy you gifts. Since Part of Fortune represents also material wealth.
🪐People with Libra Midheaven are so fascinating to me. The native with Libra MC is always known for their partnership/marriage, they are known as "this person's partner/wife/husband". BUT the Libra MC native is always EVEN MORE well known or has more attention, recognized by the public than their partner/spouse. For example celebrities Kim Kardashian, who for the longest was associated with Kanye West and as "Kanye's wife", her popularity outgrew her husband. The same in case of Cardi B (Libra MC) and his husband Offset. Similary, Kylie Jenner (Libra MC) who dated Travis Scott, now supposedly Timothee Chalamet, she will always be known for dating these people, but will be bigger than them. To conclude Libra MC native will be always KNOWN by association, because of their PARTNER or who they team up with, but Libra MC native will despite that always be BIGGER, have even more attention, success than their partner in some sense.
🪐Capricorn Lilith is often faced with rumours and gossip about them in the workplace and usually they are started by a boss and distributed by co-workers.
🪐I noticed two signs repeated in charts that often point to extreme sensitivity. It's Pisces and Aries. Often times I noticed in individual charts of people who are in a partnership, most often one partner had Pisces Moon or Rising, Mars in their Natal chart and the other person had Aries Moon, Aries Mars or Sun in their Natal chart. So a Pisces Moon in a man's chart points to a partner that is very sensitive. And if the woman has Aries Mars, again it points to a partner with extreme sensitivities.
🪐Mars in the 9th house native is VERY DECISIVE. They often had a highly opinionated father with very strong beliefs, opinions. So early on they were taught by the father that is not okay for them to be indecisive or not have an opinion on something. But what is interesting that the Mars in the 9th house individual is very indecisive throughout childhood, but grows up very decisive and opinionated later in adulthood.
🪐Sometimes with Lilith in the 9th house, you might not feel fully accepted by in-laws, so your partner's parents. Could encounter challenges here with them. Another thing I noticed here could also be either your partner's parents never take side with you. They always defend your partner, their child and not side with you, even when you're right. Or they paint YOU the bad guy and not their child, so your partner. Be mindful if you share any partnership troubles with your partner's parents since they might not grasp your perspective well.
🪐If you have Composite Capricorn Ascendant, connection that the two of you share, will receive A LOT of attention from the public. People will be highly curious about it and very focused on your connection. You will draw quite a lot of attention and people around you will be invested in your partnership.
🪐Scorpio Moon and Cancer over the 8th house might consider intimacy that you share your phone/social media password with them.
🪐 Pisces over the 4th house often points to the fact that someone else is paying your rent.
🪐 If you have Saturn in the 4th house, Capricorn over the 4th house your parents might pay your rent or buy you an apartment, a home.
Credit goes to @astroismypassion
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belladonazeppole · 7 months
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The Many Suitors of Miss Fortune
"I fucking knew it!" Adam yelled while pointing at Husk, this asshole reborn as a sinner and didn't took him long enough to come to the hotel asking for a place to stay since it look that lot of sinners could recognizr him and they weren't happy.
Charlie, the bleeding heart that she had, accept him even if she wasn't excited of him be here but she believe that everybody deserve redemption even if that person was Adam who took a liking on Husk.
"You almost convince me that you were a dude!" For some reason Adam believe that Husk is a woman. Maybe it was his chest fur since Angel gave him a shampo that gave Husk more volume or maybe Adam is into woman with deep voices or he's just a fucking moron. "You look so hot that I can get over you having the bitchest personality in this dump."
"I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD YOU CAN'T BE THIS FUCKING STUPID! " Husk yelled angrily at Adam, he has this argument to many times and just fially he succed in making him see reason in that thick skull of his."I'M JUST IN DRAG!"
The fact that he comes from Adam just makes him lose hope.
Sadly he can't make this moron see reason but he was right in one thing, he look really good. Husk has to congratulate Angel for making his grumpy old ass look this great. Husk was wearing a golden-yellow backless dress with a slip on the side, golden heels to match, a short wig that was the same color that his fur. It make Husk remember his youth when he do some drag as "Lady Luck" but that was when he was alive.
"As crude and imbecile Adam can be, he is right for once, you look quite wonderful tonight, my dear Husker." Said Alastor while spawning out nowhere in the stool of the bar while glaring at Husk. That was actually kinda sweet from Alastor since after their deal was broken their relationship was.... weird. Alastor sometimes tried to treat still like his pet but now Husk could actually refuse.
Alastor still was a bitch in deer clothing but maybe they can move on from their owner/pet relationship, maybe even making Alastor see Husk as an actual person and not his cat.
"Thanks, Al. That—
"Your welcome! But I do have a problem while the dress fits you like a glove the color just don't see like the right one." He squints his eyes while looking at him up and down to then snapping his fingers making the dress changing from golden-yellow to red, "There! It isn't better? Red was always a color that look better on you, my friend."
Or maybe not.
"No thanks. This color fits me way better than red." He said with a smug smile while snaping his fingers and, return the dress from Alastor signature red to his original golden-yellow, which make one of Alastor's ears twitch.
"Just ignore them you can't deal with stupid or batshit crazy." Said Angel while not giving Adam or Alastor much of a thought, the first just flip him in return while the latter strains his smile, "Now give me a spin! I want to see all my hard work before your date ravish you!"
"DATE WITH FUCKING WHO?" Adam yelled now angry knowing that the hottie that he was trying to bang was gonna be bang for somebody else.
"Husker!?" Alastor was shocked that his former (pet) associate was having date he believe that he and Angel were going to one of their silly "going out" but that somebody was having interest in his oldest... friend. It make Alastor feel angry and possesive. Meanwhile, Husk just rolls his eyes and ignore the outburst of these dumbass but still does what his friend ask him, after all Angel did help him and looking like this-
"This is just a first date, Angel."
"Just do what I'll do."
"I won't do anal in the first date." He cringes at bit at the sound of radio interference but refuse to giving Alastor the attention, "Buuh you whore!" Angel said jokingly while Husk just snorted at him.
"There you are!" A new voice make himself know, that was coming from the TV, it was Vox, who succed in coming out of the TV before Alastor could destroy it. "Fuck you old fossil!!" He yell while giving the finger to the radio demon.
Ever since Vox saw Alastor defeat agaisnt Adam he become more bold in entering to the hotel to mock the other overlord and old rival much to everybody else annoyance. Even fake dating Husk to have more info but the dumbass become more invested in Husk.
He may become Husk unofficial sugar daddy.
They don't even fuck.
Vox just gaves Husk money like an idiot for doing nothing.
Again Vox is a moron.
"Are you gonna fuck a fucking TV instead of having me? The Dickmaster?" Adam asked in disbelieve, fuck he fall really hard in this one. "He looks soo desperate."
"Inded and needy." Alastor glare harder at Vox, "I would expect that you have a better taste than this, Husker." At hint of dissapointment was in Alastor voice. Vox, for the first time, didn't put a lot of mind on them, "And you two are better?" He asked while crossing his arms to them point to Adam, "You! A broke fallen angel that is so fucking desperate that come to the place that tried to destroy in the first place!" Now pointing at Alastor, "And you! A coward who escape in battle and treat him like a pet at best!"
Now looking smug, "While I'm a powerful overlord that has tons of money and can make any of his whishes reality."
"I mean he isn't wrong."
"True, but Husk has a date with somebody waaayy better than any of you guys."
"WHO?" The three of them ask in anger.
"Hoo Mama!"
The three sinners slowly begin to turn around to see Lucifer the King of Hell with a bottle of apple cider and his mouth wide open at the sight of Husk, so he was the date.
That motherfucker.
Lucifer seeing that there were more people watching him pulled himself together as best he could, failure of course, "I mean…uh- You look beautiful tonight Hu- I mean Miss Fortune, yes, that color suits you excellently." He said hurriedly as he handed the bottle of apple cider to Husk who only smiled at his reaction.
He hands the bottle to Angel, "Thanks, Duckie." He laughs a little as the redness in his cheeks appears, "But you have Angel to thank, he's the one who made my geezer self look this awesome."
"Uuhhh, thank you Angel." He said a little awkward as with the use of his magic made another bottle appear, "A thank you for making Husk look amazing…I mean more! More amazing than you normally look, you always look good but now? I almost fainted…"
He really was Charlie's father.
The same verbal diarrhea when they're nervous.
It was adorable if he was honest.
"I understand you look amazing today too, Duckie." He said once again using Lucifer's nickname which only made him smile more and more relaxed, "I'll wait for you outside."
"Thanks, Short King" Said Angel with the bottle in his hand and leaving to his room, "Have a good fuck you two!" He just waves his hand a bit awkwardly, "Don't worry I'll make sure Husk has a night he won't forget."
He was ready to leave until he sees the three sinners looking at him with daggers in their eyes, his awkward posture changes to an arrogant one while he flashes them the finger, "You three want to be me so badly right now."
"Adam, looks like third time's the charm after all. Alfred I'm sorry for not being able to stay for a conversation but I have date right now…. and who are you?" He said the last while pointing at Vox but shakes his head nonchalantly, "It doesn't matter if I'm honest. I have go to my date with Miss Fortune and if I'm lucky it will soon be Mrs Fortune." He said while sticking his tongue out between his fingers.
"Toodles!" He cheerfully as he leaves the three of them alone.
The King had a date and felt really lucky if he is honest!
(This takes inspiration by a small convo that @adyophene and I had it was too good for me not write.)
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Omfg I ate that Vox fic up! The one where he hypnotized the reader after a long fight of them nearly being taken from him. Can you do a part 2 please? Like when the reader eventually learns he basically forced them to sign the contract and they find a way to be immune to his hypnosis? He goes absolutely nuts despite literally owning their soul. He's canonically a control freak and seems to even have some yandere traits. I hope I'm not going against your rules! You don't have any posted so I just wanna ask! Thank you for being awesome! :D Don't hesitate to turn down this request. Write what makes you feel comfortable. Just please respond so I and everyone else knows not to make a similar request in the future. Lots of love!
ABSOLUTELY!! I did take this in a slightly different direction, but hope you enjoy it nonetheless! Lowkey thinking of doing a Vox POV of this later and maybe even a part three...
Vox isn't actually in this much, but I feel a loose actual plot coming together and this is what naturally flowed for me.
I hope y'all are ready for more angst... plus a cliff-hanger <3
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More Than Anything Part 2 [Vox x Reader]
Part 1
Part 2.5
"You controlling prick!"
Vox ducked as you threw a pillow at him. Even in your righteous anger, you'd never actually truly try to hurt him, but by god were you pissed.
Despite Vox's obvious disdain for the Hazbin Hotel and its association with Alastor, you visited the hotel occasionally to catch up with your friend Angel Dust and give some much-deserved love to his pet pig Fat Nuggets. It was during one of these visits that you ran into Alastor, who immediately looked at you with disgust in his ever-present smile.
"Really now, my dear," he said as he shook his head in disapproval. "It's already enough of a shame that you have such poor taste in a romantic partner, but to give your soul to him as well? I thought you were smarter than that."
The overlord could see the aura of Vox's ever-annoying electric cords locked around your soul like chains. You'd been confused and his eye twitched with annoyance as he realized what Vox had done to you. To say you were livid after he explained that you'd been tricked was an understatement.
"Y/N, I'm sorry," Vox pleaded as you fumed at him in his room. "But you left me no other choice! You weren't listening to me and if I didn't bind your soul, then Satan knows what could have happened to you by now."
"Just because you don't fucking believe in my ability to look out for myself doesn't mean you get to just take my soul!" You screamed with hot, angry tears flowing down your face. You wipe at them, only crying harder at the frustration of the tears you couldn't control in your anger. You felt like they undermined your emotions.
Vox's magic sparked around him as he tried his best not to get angry and start a fight with you. He was terrified and was that much more susceptible to his angry tendencies in moments like these. It took everything in him to try and calm himself, not wanting to push you away further. His heart dropped and his blood ran cold as he saw you pull a large bag out of the closet and start shoving clothes into it.
"W-Where are you going?" Vox panicked as he crossed the room.
"The hotel," you said with quiet fury, as you stepped away from the closet and went to the nightstand with your personal things on it. "I need some space and it's the one fucking place I know you'd rather die again than follow me to."
"Ŷ̸̪͕o̸̢̿̿ū̷̫ ̶̬͂c̶̺̾͂a̴͒͘͜n̴̫̂̔'̶̡̉t̶͙̝̄͒," Vox said, his voice starting to glitch as his panic increased. "You've heard the news, the extermination is in a week and the angels plan on attacking there first. There's no guarantee they'll keep to the date after how much little miss dumbass pissed off heaven. It's not safe there."
You pull your bag over your shoulder and the look you gave him will haunt him for the rest of his afterlife. "It's safer than here."
It breaks him all the more when you shield your eyes from him and storm past him so he can't hypnotize you into staying. Vox is paralyzed with fear like never before. He wanted to scream, to beg, to stop you from leaving him, but he couldn't do anything as his system glitched so hard it forced him into a reboot. When he came to, he was alone. You were gone.
--
Charlie was more than willing to let you stay at the hotel. The two of you hadn't had the chance to really ever speak before, but she was always friendly when you came to visit Angel, even after you explained to her there was no way you'd be able to become a guest.
In exchange, you were happy to help set up the defenses against the extermination. You got to know all of the other members of the hotel and the work helped you push down the burning ache in your chest.
Vox had been trying to contact you nonstop. You eventually turned off your phone, driven insane by the wall of notifications of him begging you to respond in any way. He knew you were okay for the time being. He was literally connected to your soul. But as the extermination day grew closer, his panic only increased. If it wasn't for Valentino and Velvette holding him back, there were several times he genuinely would have set aside his pride and come to the hotel just to get you.
It was after helping Husk and Cherri put up a particularly tricky barrier with the dwindling supplies that Angel found you taking a break. He passed you a water which you took gratefully as he slid down the wall and joined you on the floor.
"So," he started. "Are we going to ever talk about the reason why you're hiding out here?"
"Do we have to?" You groan, running your fingers through your hair. Despite the smiles and laughter you'd been sharing with your newfound friends as you all prepared for the potential end of it all, the dark circles on your eyes gave away what was lurking underneath.
For as angry as you were at Vox, you missed him. You missed feeling him curl against you in bed. You missed being woken up at unholy hours early in the morning because Vox couldn't start his day without giving you a kiss and telling you how much he loved you. You missed his shitty taste in shows and how he'd collapse into your arms after a long day at work.
Angel sighed, looking at the boarded-up lobby. "Look I may not get it, but you love the guy, right? Are you really content with possibly dying in a couple of days for a cause you're not even a part of, just because you're pissed with him?"
"He stole my soul, Angie" You frown at him.
"And that is fucked up as hell," he agrees. "But I know you and I know there ain't no way in hell you're actually satisfied leaving shit like this."
"I just-," you start before groaning. "How the hell are we supposed to come back from this? I doubt he'd ever void the contract. He's too convinced he's right for that."
Angel sighed, setting his own cup aside. "Honestly toots, you're not gonna like it, but... He kinda has a point."
You whip your head up to look at him and he holds up his hands defensively. "Not saying that stealing your soul was the right call. Believe me, if anyone gets how fucked it is having your soul controlled by a sociopath with a big ego, it's me. But you're not exactly in the safest of places, dollface. Not to mention, you're dating an overlord who's in a trio determined to piss off as many big shots as possible. His mind may not be in the right place, but his heart kinda is."
You take Angel's words to heart and sigh as you bury your face in your arms. "I hate it, but you're right... I just... I don't want to hold him back. I don't want to be the person that needs to be protected. I want to be his equal, not his problem."
"Then tell him that," Angel sighs. His gaze drifts to the bar and smiles fondly. "Someone recently has taught me how important being real with yourself is. It's okay to be flawed. No one got stuck in this shithole cause we were perfect, y'know?"
He nudged you with a grin as he added, "Plus, come on. Can you imagine how many bitches in hell would kill to have a sexy fucker that wants nothing more than to love ya and keep ya safe? I love you toots, but for fucks sake, pick a struggle."
You snort, shaking your head as you lightly swat at his arm. "Fuck you for being right about shit all the time."
"It's one of my best assets," Angel smirked. "Y'know, aside from all the fluff."
You laughed as he puffed up his chest and by the end of the evening, you'd decided to head back. As much as you loved Angel and wanted nothing more than to be by his side as the extermination drew near, he had a point. This wasn't your fight and there was a controlling dumbass that had been blowing up your phone ever since you left that was praying for your return.
After exchanging promises to see each other after the extermination, you left the hotel. You had an idiot to see.
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doberbutts · 1 month
Note
I can't understand the idea that someone outside of an oppressed group cannot be victims of violence towards that oppressed group. That anon you deleted, the one who got mad and went "so cis people can experience transphobia!?!" Have you not read the news lately? What? What is happening to Imane Khalif right now? When you are past some arbitrary "acceptable range" of looks, behavior, etc., you become a target. As a cis woman who grew up in a conservative area, having "boyish interests" was enough for me to be subject to slurs and abuse. And it stuck around past that, because I have a small chest and broad shoulders, a long face. Whatever. Systems of oppression effect everyone under them because they all rely on "passing". You are required to reach a bar and to look and perform in certain ways and that bar is ever changing.
Well, that's why when someone was in my replies being upset that I asked how Khelif could be considered TME when transmisogyny was actively happening to her, one of the things I responded to said person was:
I don't understand how discussion the widespread effect of a systemic form of oppression and how it affects other things or is used as a weapon in other things, at all damages or erases the conversation that said systemic form of oppression is a problem. If anything, it's spreading further awareness.
I understand if the concern is that not enough people are caring about the trans women to whom transmisogyny happens on a regular basis, and are instead only ever caring about non trans fems and their relationship with being on the receiving end of transmisogyny. That is a problem, and it's one that does need to be talked about more often.
However I don't think any other form of oppression is specifically locked to only the people who identify as that oppressed demographic. Men experience misogyny. White people experience racism. Abled people experience ableism. "You throw like a girl" "you're not my daughter if you marry that black man" "what are you, deaf?" these are all things that are experienced by the "wrong" demographic, because in truth? The demographic doesn't matter.
These are systems we're talking about- the system of misogyny is what leads boys who fail to be masculine enough to be compared to girls as a way to state they are inferior, because the point is that with the system of misogyny, girls are inherently inferior to boys. Therefore, calling a boy a girl is calling him weaker, lesser, and not good enough.
The system of racism is what leads white parents to disown their children if their children date outside of their race. The point is that under the system of racism, interracial dating is seen as an aberration, and these racist parents then reject their own children for daring to love someone who is not white.
The system of ableism is what leads people to make comparisons to disability when bringing up someone's shortcomings. Disabled people are largely seen as failures in abled society, so by pointing to disability whenever faced with what is perceived as inadequacy, the system of ableism operates to continue to associate being disabled with worthlessness, and being abled with having worth.
Hell, it was not that long ago that "gay" and "retarded" were used as synonyms for "bad" and "stupid". Some people still use these words that way. It was a fucking Rick and Morty joke a few years ago, this isn't ancient history.
So when I'm told that I don't experience a system of oppression based solely on my labeled demographic and not on my actual lived experience, my immediate first thought is "that's not how systems of oppression work, literally everyone experiences these things in different ways, because that's what is meant when we call something systemic, it means the entire fucking system is built around this as a crux of logic"
Which is very weird to me then when someone tells me that by saying Khelif is/was experiencing transmisogyny, I'm erasing trans women. How? I genuinely don't understand how that's possible when I'm saying that the explicit hatred and fear of the trans woman boogeyman is what led us here in the first place. I am saying "this comes directly from people pushing transmisogynistic rulings for years and was always going to be the end result when they finally excluded all the actual trans women". I'm saying "it was bad logic when applied to trans women and it's bad logic even now, being applied to a [self-identified] perisex cisgender 'biological' woman and we should have put our foot down about it years ago when trans women and intersex women were actually competing".
Transmisogyny is a system of oppression. The system is functioning normally even when it fires at targets it's "not supposed to". That's what happens under systemic oppression. That's a feature, not a bug.
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atinylittlepain · 1 year
Note
alright hear me out. you’re secretly in love with joel. and joel is ridiculously attracted to you and he’s so protective of you and has this massive crush that he refuses to acknowledge. but Tess can totally tell and either
a. she is super jealous and annoyed about it. she confronts joel in some way and maybe treats you shitty. but joel totally calls her out and basically admits that he does like you.
b. she wants you two to get together. and tries to force you two to spend more time alone with each other and maybe she confronts joel and you walk in on their convo or she just tells you outright that joel is into you but will never admit it.
tesscue part two! i love it
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Better Off
Joel Miller x f!reader
joel miller masterlist
Joel's trying to keep his distance from her. But Tess has other plans for him and the girl he's trying so hard to forget about.
warnings | 18+ canon-typical violence, angst, feelings
a/n | this can be read as a standalone or as a part two to Looking, either way it's fun :)
.................................
She would never admit it, but she’s disappointed that things haven’t changed all that much with Joel, not since that night he came looking for her and all but murdered that guard that had been giving her trouble. Not since she kissed him on the cheek and told him how she feels about him.
He still won’t really talk to her, not unless it’s business. But now that she’s working almost entirely with Tess, even those opportunities are few and far in between. When they do speak, he keeps his eyes anywhere but on her. His hands in his lap, the laces of his boots, something just over her shoulder, but he never quite meets her gaze. More than anything, she feels embarrassed that she had been so forward with him that night. She had thought that he felt similarly, with the way he was blushing like a teenager at her flirting, but now it seems pretty clear that Joel Miller wants nothing to do with her outside of their business partnership. 
She’s trying to not let it get to her, but her mind can’t help needling at it. Does he think she’s too young for him? Too talkative? Too crass? She flits away these questions easily, but her mind always settles on the fear that Joel just doesn’t take her seriously, not really. So, she’s resigned herself to the reality that her little crush is going to have to stay just that, focusing on her work with Tess as a distraction from him. 
While Joel may be getting more distant, she and Tess have become quick friends in their work establishing a new trade partner right on the border of Vermont, often staying up late into the night when the talk shifts from smuggling routes to loose gossip and life. Joel had often passed by them, sitting at the kitchen table in his apartment, grumbling to himself before closing his bedroom door with a definitive thud. Tess would always apologize for her “dumbass associate,” and she would just shrug, trying not to take his clear hostility personally, though it sure seemed to be directed toward her. A few months passed like that, and with each day she convinced herself a bit more that she didn’t care about Joel Miller. 
With summer creeping in, it’s just about time for Joel and Tess to make another seasonal trip out to Bill and Frank, and when she gets back to his apartment a few nights before they’re supposed to go, she’s surprised by the conversation he and Tess are having.
“Then we’ll just push it back.” Tess shakes her head in her hand where she’s sitting at the kitchen table.
“We can’t, Joel. Bill and Frank are already skittish as it is, if we go changing dates on them it’s just gonna raise their hackles.” Joel looks at her blankly, slumping back in his chair.
“Then you gotta push that meeting back instead.” Tess scoffs.
“I can’t. It’s time sensitive what I got worked out with Marlene. It’s now or never. You gotta go to Bill and Frank’s without me. She can go with you.” Her mouth goes dry when Tess nods over to where she’s still standing in the doorway, and her stomach twists when Joel is so quick to protest against the idea.
“Tess, I’m not going with her.” Tess looks ready to smack him upside the head, but she interjects, walking further into the room and fixing him with a steely look.
“What? You don’t think I can handle it, Miller? Well I can assure I manage just fine out there. Been running the route to Vermont nearly every week so don’t worry about me. I’ll go with you, and you’ll be lucky to have me along for the trip.” She shocks even herself with that outburst, but obviously not as much as Joel whose mouth is hanging open, eyes wide as he looks at her. Tess claps her hands together, startling him out of his surprised stupor.
“Well, that settles that. Thanks for taking on asshole duty, I owe you one.” Tess grins at her as Joel scoffs at her words. She however, is starting to realize exactly what she just signed up for.
It’s going to be a long hike.
Her mind has been swirling ever since they left the QZ. Now, pacing back and forth outside the hollowed-out gas station that Joel is rummaging through for supplies he had stashed, she keeps replaying the conversation she had overheard the night before between him and Tess. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but when she heard Tess say her name, she had stopped in her tracks, leaning back behind the door frame of Joel’s bedroom to listen in.
“Joel, you’re being fucking ridiculous.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tess laughed at that.
“Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re gonna scare her away with the way you treat her, is that what you want?”
“No. I just– just don’t care to be around her, that’s all.” Her heart dropped at that, but Tess was quick to reply.
“Well I don’t believe that for one second. It’s kinda hard to scowl at someone while you’re also giving them puppy dog eyes. Joel, it’s pretty fucking clear that you’re sweet on her. And I know for a fact that she’s had a little thing for you too. But if you keep treating her like shit, whatever chance you have left with her is gonna be gone. Or worse, you’re gonna cost me my best business partner.” A heavy silence fell after Tess’ rant, Joel clearing his throat a few times before he answered.
“Look, it’s better off this way. She’s better off not getting– tangled up with me. Fuck– I’ll try to be– polite, I guess. Not gonna lose you a business partner, but it’s better for everyone if I keep my distance. She’ll get over it– tough as nails, that one. It’s better for her, Tess. Alright?” Tess sighed.
“Fine. But I still think it’s a shame that you’re just throwing away a chance at something actually good in this world.”
She had scurried out of his apartment at the sound of their conversation dying out, and ever since, her mind has been replaying it on an infinite loop. It had shocked her, hearing Joel all but openly admit that he had been harboring his own feelings for her. But that shock quickly rolled over to dismay that it was made explicitly clear that he wasn’t going to do anything to act on those feelings.
“You good?” She’s startled out of her thoughts by Joel shouldering his way out of the gas station, wordlessly passing her one of the guns he had stashed before. She nods as they already step back into stride, turning back to continue following the highway toward Bill and Frank’s. 
Their hike so far has been quiet, save for monosyllabic communication, and the silence is starting to get to her, just enough that she finally opens her mouth. Anything’s better than staying stuck in her head.
“Joel? Can I ask you a question?” He hums out a reluctant permission, his head tilting slightly to look at her as they keep walking.
“What did you do before– well, before?” She knows he doesn’t like talking about the past, and judging by the way his face screws up at her question, she guesses he might not even answer, but she’s so sick of conversations about FEDRA guards and trade routes. She’d give anything to talk about something normal.
When he doesn’t answer, she sighs.
“Oh c’mon. We’ve got like another four hours of walking, might as well fill the time with something.” Still nothing, his eyes staying fixed forward on the crumbling road ahead of them. She huffs.
“Well I was a nurse– ER, if you can believe it.” That seems to pique his interest, finally glancing at her.
“Were you on shift when everything–?” She nods to his trailing off question.
“Sure was. Booked it out of there when my patients started taking bites out of doctors. Pfft, I remember one of my coworkers refusing to leave because she was worried about getting paid for her overtime.” She lets out a weak laugh, shaking her head at the strange memory. Joel clears his throat.
“I was a contractor. Me and my brother had a little business– building homes, that type of stuff. It was, um, good work.” She offers him a smile, surprised when he offers her one back. The moment is short lived however, when two infected come darting out of the treeline. 
It’d be foolish to waste ammo, both of them scrambling to pull out knives. She makes quick work of the one coming up on her, turning to see Joel struggling on the ground with the other. But before she can help him, she gets tackled to the ground by another screeching infected, her knife skittering out of her hand at the impact. She rolls on the ground with the snarling creature, fighting back its snapping jaws as best she can, though it continues to press closer and closer into her. And then its body goes slack over her, and she can’t help the stifled shriek she lets out when it slumps heavy on top of her. Her whole body trembles as she shoves the body off of her, finding Joel standing over her, a wild look in his eyes.
He kneels down between her legs, helping her sit up as his hands dart anxiously over her, checking for bites. There’s a loud rushing in her ears, her hands shaking as she grasps onto the front of his flannel. His palms cup her face, warm and steadying as he coaxes her to look at him.
“Are you ok? Not hurt anywhere?” She’s never gotten so close to death, the shock of it settling icy and slick in her bones. She takes a shuddering breath before answering.
“I’m– I’m fine. I’m ok.” The worry rounding his eyes dissolves, his face setting back in a gruff, empty expression. She hates how she tries to lean into him when he takes his hands away from her face. He gets up with a groan, offering her a hand, but she has enough dignity to refuse to take it, scrambling onto her still unsteady legs.
“We should keep moving. There’s probably more where those came from.” She doesn’t respond to his words, just starts walking again, trying to steady the persistent shake in her hands. 
The rest of their hike is silent until Joel suggests they break for the night, setting up camp in a thicket of trees just off the highway. They eat their rations silently in the slow-darkening summer dusk. She’s surprised when he offers her his flask.
“Helps with the nerves.” She swears she could get whiplash with the way he’s swinging from seeming to not give a fuck to acting like he cares. She wordlessly takes the flask from him, ignoring the flicker of his fingers brushing hers as she takes a hard swig. 
“You sure you’re alright?” She can’t help but scoff at that.
“Careful, Miller. A girl might start to think you actually give a fuck about her.” He looks stricken by her harsh words, the fading light of day casting shadows over his furrowed expression.
“I– I do give a fuck about you.” She shakes her head, wrapping her arms around her shins where she’s sitting on her spread out sleeping bag.
“Oh I know. But you don’t want to, do you? That’s the problem. You don’t want to care about me. You think I’d be better off if you kept your distance from me.” His jaw goes slack at her words, leaning over his knees where he’s sitting across from her.
“I thought I heard you– you were listening in, weren’t you? To me and Tess? How much did you hear?” She sighs, turning her gaze down.
“Heard all of it.” It’s more of a mumble, but Joel hears it.
“Look, I’ll admit it– I like you– probably more than I should. But I’m right, darlin. It’s better this way. I’m no good for you. You best just forget about this.” Her head whips up at that, finally meeting his surprisingly sorrowful gaze.
“How can you say that, Joel? How could you possibly know what’s best for me? This isn’t about what’s best for me. You know what I think? I think you’re scared to let anyone get close to you. This isn’t better for me, it’s easier for you.” His expression has hardened, and she knows that she just pissed him off.
“That’s bullshit. You think this is easy for me? Pushing you away? Maybe you’ll understand when you’re a little older, darlin, but there ain’t anything easy about any of this.” She scoffs at that, anger coaxing up her spine.
“Oh please. That’s a weak excuse and you know it. Pulling the fucking age card. I’m not the one that needs to fucking grow up.” Somehow, in the heated volley of words, they’ve both ended up kneeling in front of each other, inching up into each other’s snarling faces.
“Oh, I need to grow up? That’s rich coming from the girl who just a few months ago was flirting with fucking feds for a few extra ration cards.” She does it before she can even think, her hand arcing with the goal of smacking him clean across his face, but before she can make contact, he grabs her wrist, holding her hand between them as she struggles in his grasp.
“Let go.” She can feel her anger seething off of herself, but Joel just cocks an eyebrow at her, firming up his grip on her wrist.
“No.” He says it so casually, she can’t help but laugh.
“What are you, a toddler? I said, let fucking go, you–” She’s cut off by his lips smashing into hers. Though she initially tries to fight it, she can’t help but mold her lips to his, seeking out the upper hand when she swipes her tongue over his bottom lip, causing him to groan lowly. He lets go of her wrist, his palms coming to squeeze at the curve of her hips as he topples back onto his ass, taking her with him as she straddles his thighs. It’s an angry, demanding little thing of a kiss, both of them fighting for dominance between swallowed gasps. He finally pulls back with a lewd smack, his eyes blown wide.
“You drive me fucking crazy, woman.” She snickers, tugging lightly at the hair at the nape of his neck.
“So much for not caring, Miller.” Tess was right. Tess was definitely right.
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yournowheregirl · 1 year
Text
read my mind
rating: G | wc: 1225 | cw: none
The first word that comes to mind when Eddie steps foot into the Harrington house is ‘chaos’.
Which is weird, because he had come to know Steve’s house as neat and very much put together. It was probably a combination of weekly cleaning and the fact of Mrs. Harrington’s obsession with interior design and keeping everything absolutely perfect, even though she wasn’t there most of the time. But this time there are loose pieces of paper all over the floor and a pile of books in the middle of the hallway, like someone had spent hours researching something.
Eddie also hears some kind of ruckus coming from the kitchen and he prepares himself for the worst. He might not be all that up-to-date with all of the crazy shit that’s been happening in Hawkins over the last few years, but he has been through enough to know that something weird can happen at anytime.
As he approaches the kitchen, Eddie jangles his keys, sliding them between his fingers as a makeshift weapon, just in case. He stomps his feet a little louder than usual and takes a deep breath, preparing for the worst, as he turns the corner.
If he thought the hallway was chaotic, it’s nothing in comparison to what Eddie finds in the kitchen. The clutter of books and loose papers had made its way onto the tiled floor, but it was joined with what looks like miles and miles of tin foil. Eddie’s eyes follow the silver trail to the other side of the kitchen, where he finds the two culprits.
Steve is sitting at the kitchen table with Robin sitting on the floor in between his legs, and while that isn’t something unusual, their accessories definitely are. Because Steve is wearing an absolutely ridiculous tin foil hat, with a pointy end and all, and for a second Eddie wonders if this is a new hair routine for him. Steve is focused on making a hat for Robin, it seems, as he’s wrapping even more tin foil around her head as well.
“What the fuck are you two doing?”
“Babe!” Steve says with a bright smile. “You came at the perfect time!”
“Uh, you invited me, and also, that doesn’t answer my question. What the fuck are you two doing?” Eddie asks again. “Is this the new and improved Steve Harrington hair ritual?”
“No,” Robin replies with a roll of her eyes. “We’re testing out our telepathy.”
Eddie blinks, completely dumbfounded at what Robin had just said. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Yeah, there must have been something in that bunker, or in the Upside Down, something, because we totally have powers now. Like, I always know what Robin’s thinking, for some reason,” Steve says, and oh God, he’s being sincere isn’t he?
“Yes! So today, while I was shelving tapes at work, I was thinking about how the moon landing was totally faked, right? And then Steve just finished my thought, saying ‘oh yeah, they faked it for sure’ like it was nothing,” Robin says excitedly. ”I didn’t even say anything! He just read my mind!”
Now Eddie hasn’t been scared away from the freaky sides of things, it even earned him a nickname, but this is a little too weird. Even for him. There’s no way that Steve and Robin actually have supernatural powers, no matter how hard they try to believe it. But then Eddie notices how excited they both are, and the big smiles on their faces make him smile as well. Sure, they’re being ridiculous right now, but he figures they deserve to be after all they’ve been through.
“Okay, I’ll bite. What can I do to help?”
“Right, so…”
Apparently Robin has raided the Harrington’s personal library on all the science books they had (which Eddie had noticed in the hallway) and cooked up an experiment that will prove once and for all that she and Steve are telepathically connected. All Eddie has to do is a little word association, and if both Robin and Steve write down the same word without looking at each other’s answers, it proves their connection beyond any doubt.
Well, Eddie still has his doubts, but whatever.
Once Steve and Robin are all set, their backs against each other and a piece of paper and pen in hand, Eddie gives them their first word: chocolate. He gives them both five seconds to think of something, but while they look very confident, their answers don’t match up.
“Sorry. Steve said milk and Robin said cocoa,” Eddie tsks. “Not a match.”
“It’s basically the same thing,” Robin scoffs. “Another one.”
“Fine. Your next word is, uh, sun.”
After five seconds, Steve shows his paper, which says summer, while Robin’s says hot. Again, not a match.
“Well, summers are hot, so we’re getting close.” Steve shrugs. “We’ll get the next one, Robs, I can feel it.”
But with every word Eddie throws at them, they continue getting close to a similar answer (Steve answers ‘sky’ while Robin says ‘galaxy’ when Eddie gives them the word ‘star’) but it’s never an exact match. This doesn’t deter them in the slightest; they continue to be convinced of their powers while Eddie starts to believe less and less. Not that he believed it in the first place.
That is until…
“Okay, final one,” Eddie sighs, and because his stomach is rumbling, says, “Hungry.”
Steve and Robin scribble away on their papers and then show Eddie their words in unison. For the first time, they have the exact same word on paper: ‘pasta.’ Eddie must look either shocked or impressed at this turn of events, because Steve positively lights up at the sight of him.
“Did we get it?” He asks, looking over his shoulder at Robin’s paper and beaming when he sees the answer. “Robin! We got it!”
“I knew it! I knew we had a connection!” Robin exclaims. “Do you believe us now, Eddie?”
Eddie huffs in response. “That doesn’t prove anything. You’re just saying that because you were supposed to make pasta today, remember? You invited me over for lasagna?”
“Oh shit. You’re right,” Steve says with a sheepish grin on his face. He carefully removes the tinfoil hat and Eddie tries not to laugh at the ridiculous state of his hair. A very wise decision because he’s rewarded with a quick kiss from Steve. “I guess we got a little distracted. Sorry babe.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re lucky you’re cute,” Eddie flirts back. “Now, where’s the pasta?”
After the kitchen is cleaned up, Steve starts working on the lasagna. Eddie offers to help, but Steve tells him to just sit back and relax. Well, Eddie can definitely do just that. Robin does get to help though, saying something about the lasagna being her mom’s recipe, so she has the final say with the ingredients.
As Eddie watches them cook together, moving around the kitchen in perfect sync and handing each other spatulas and seasoning without asking for it, he can’t help but wonder if Steve and Robin do have some kind of psychic connection after all.
happy birthday!! @stobinesque 🎉🎁🎂 me and @legitcookie cooked up this little silly stobin brainworm for you to celebrate your birthday!! we hope you enjoyed!
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bloodywickedvamp · 2 years
Text
Two's Company - What The Hell Is Six?
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Poly!Lost Boys x GN Reader x Michael
Series Masterlist
Summary: Reader is dating Michael Emerson and they're fed up with his uncharacteristic behavior towards his family and them since moving to Santa Carla. They decided to finally confront Michael on the boardwalk with an audience of 4 in attendance.
Word Count: 1.5K
Warnings: angst, heated argument (?) more so the reader just yelling, maybe a little gaslighting if you look hard, cursing
Hi! This is my first fic so any notes or critiques on how I can improve my writing or any notes at all are greatly appreciated. Hope you enjoy! This may or may not turn into a multi-part fic. I have a bigger idea for it but we'll see if i have it in me to do it lol. Also, let me know if I missed any warnings and i'll be sure to add them.
Dividers: @saradika & @firefly-graphics
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Michael Fucking Emerson...
The man I love more than anything has become someone I don't even want to know.
After moving to Santa Carla from Phoenix he changed so drastically I still can't seem to wrap my head around it. We've been together for a few years now and I became so close to his mom and brother that it felt natural to accept when he offered for me to come with them and stay for the summer once the time came for the move.
After his first few nights on the boardwalk is when I noticed the shift. He went off on his own as I was hanging with Sam or Lucy and wouldn't come home till the very early hours of the morning. He was rude and snippy to the questioning from his mom. Harsh and mean to Sam, more so than the typical sibling bickering and teasing that they engaged in. He'd keep his distance from me, like he could barely stand to be around me at all and completely blow me off any time I tried to talk or spend time together. It's only gotten worse and I'm at my wits end with it.
After having a tearful heart to heart with Lucy about his 180 in behavior I decided to take matters into my own hands whether he likes it or not.
I start my journey to the place that I've begun to despise, associating it with the 'new Michael'.
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Finally, I spot my elusive brunette exactly where I thought he'd be, on the boardwalk but to my surprise he's also surrounded by a group of intimidating looking bikers. Two rowdy blondes, one with an impressively long curly haired mullet and an eye catching custom patchwork jacket adorned his somewhat smaller, muscular stature. The other untamed boy, with wild hair to match and a dark fishnet top that leaves almost nothing to the imagination, is nearly bouncing around the others with glee at whatever they're discussing. Next I notice a tall, dark, and handsome brunette to their right who takes the cake at revealing outfits with the lack of shirt and wide open leather jacket. With the slightest of smiles he's leaning against presumably his own motorcycle observing the rest of his group and the crowd at large. Lastly, to the right of the brunette and the left of Michael, there's a bleach blonde mullet you couldn't miss for miles a top the most intimidating looking one, wearing a too-stuffy seeming trench coat for this Santa Carla summer heat.
In a normal circumstance I would have slight hesitation to approach the group alone so boldly, as I find myself doing now, but I couldn't care less who's around. At this moment the only person to be feared on the boardwalk is me. I'm on mission for some answers and god help the poor soul who fucks with me right now.
As I take my final few strides towards my boyfriend they all notice me. The four unknown boys go quiet as they take me in curiously, a determined walk, pissed off expression, heavy breathing, and clenched fists.
"Michael fucking Emerson!" I erupted, jabbing my finger in his chest, coming face to face with the wide eyed boy.
"Hey baby-" He tried cautiously.
"Oh good you actually do remember you have a partner"
"Look I know you're upset and rightfully so but-"
I hold my hand up to silence whatever bullshit was about to spill from his mouth. "No no no, I'm still talking and you're listening." He nods his head slowly, afraid to set me off even more, if that's possible. I hear rather than see snickers to my right from the others.
"I don't know what's been going on with you and why you've been treating everyone in your life like shit but I'm sick and tired of it and I want answers. Now." The words spill heatedly from my lips as my anger intensifies from the inevitable release pent up over the past few weeks. Michaels mouth opens whether in shock or to interject, I don't know but I cut him off before I can find out.
"It's one thing the way you've been treating me - and trust me we'll get to that" I accentuate with a pointed finger in the air and back down after. "but it's a whole other thing with Lucy and Sam. You barely talk to or see Sam anymore and he's devastated, you're his best friend and he misses you. Your mother does absolutely everything she can for you and Sam. She upended her entire life in Phoenix to give you both a fresh start - since the move you've done nothing but push her away every time she tries to talk. That woman is the sweetest person on this planet and I'll be damned if you think I'm going to let you walk all over her anymore." Huffing at the end of my tirade.
If Michael's eyes got any wider they would've popped out of his head. Maybe the middle of the boardwalk wasn't the best place to do this but I couldn't contain it anymore. The nice approach hasn't worked and he needed a good telling off.
"You're right, everything you're saying is right but maybe we could do this more privately" Michael offered while trying to gently grab my upper arm to pull me somewhere else. With a worried look in his eyes he glanced at the boys then back at me pleadingly.
"Oh I'm sorry, am I embarrassing you in front of your new friends? Who I've never met or heard anything about by the way." I argued back while also taking the time to look them over, up close now.
They all seem to be enjoying themselves watching Michael's berating. Smirks and giggles passing amongst the group as they share knowing glances between them and at me, like they're having a secret conversation only the leather clad bikers can understand.
Piercing blue eyes land on me as bleach-boy flirted "You're a fiery little thing aren't you? I can't believe it's taking this long for us to meet, Michael, how come you didn't introduce us sooner?" He jabbed, finally tearing his eyes away from mine towards the conflicted brunette in front of me.
"You know why David." Michael states matter of factly. His grip on my arm tightening ever so slightly, voice husky with something primal I've never heard from him before.
"Can't imagine why you'd want to hide a babe like this away, it just doesn't seem fair." The tallest blonde beamed at me starry eyed and grinning cheerfully. He moved closer to reach out and stroke my hair quicker than I could register, taking in a small almost imperceptible inhale from me if I wasn't paying close attention. Releasing a contented sigh before I was pulled back towards Michael.
"Don't touch them, don't even think about it." he sneered.
"Come on Mike, we aren't going to hurt 'em. Right Paul?"
"Right on Marko." Paul jested as Marko playfully elbowed him.
What the fuck is happening and who the hell are these guys? Jumping into the one-sided argument between me and my boyfriend to start flirting? Are they his friends? Last time I checked friends don't hit on their friends' significant others, especially right in front of them so shamelessly.
"You never mentioned you were dating someone." The other brunette tacked on to the conversation speaking for the first time. Giving me a once over with those alluring brown eyes, hungrily.
I stared daggers back at the boy holding me in a tight grip, ripping my arm away to mock "Wow, why am I not surprised." I desperately try to steal my emotions to keep the hurt and betrayal from coming to the forefront.
"You don't understand and I don't even know how to explain but you have to believe me it's for your own good." Michael again pleads for my compassion. It's too late for that.
"Of course I don't understand you don't tell me anything anymore! You blow me off, ignore me, and I assume these four are the reason for your revamp in personality." I fumed, gesturing to the group. Chuckles are heard again, at the end of my outburst.
"Are you cheating?" I suddenly asked
"What no-" Michael sputtered in surprise.
"Did you meet someone else?"
"No of course no-"
"Did you do something that could hurt Sam, Lucy, or I?"
"NO babe-"
"Then I don't see what could be so bad that you feel the need to push us all away and act like this. The only reason I'm still standing here putting up with this is because I deserve an explanation and I promised Lucy I'd get answers out of you. So start talking." I sassed.
With a defeated sigh he raised his hands in surrender "Okay Okay, walk with me to the beach and i'll explain everything to you, alone." Emphasizing his final word with a sneer towards David. David only found that amusing as he quirked an eyebrow and took out the cigarette resting behind his ear placing it between his lips and lighting it. He inhaled and blew out a cloud of smoke stating "You sure about that Michael? You're already on edge, we wouldn't want you to lose control and hurt our doll now would we?"
Our? I barely had time to register or retort back at the presumptuous claim before Michael grabbed my hand and stormed off to the beach, steam basically pouring out of his ears.
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To be continued...
I feel alright about this so far. Again it's my first ever fic post so you know...it is what it is. :)
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astroyongie · 4 months
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NCT 127 June Reading 2024
Note: please take it with a grain of salt
Taeil
love: it seems like he is still dating the same person as ever, but things are again complicated. Taeil have been a little bit more protective over his finances and not “pampering” his partner as much which has made them mad 
career: Taeil has some ideas of what he wants to do after his military service. Maybe we will finally have some type of solo music from his side. he has also been quite protected lately 
self: things are okay with him, his health is strong and he has been leading the group into a better communication overall 
Johnny
love: This man is finally in a relationship (this seems to be an idol but i am not 100% sure). Also their relationship havent started long ago, probably around the end of April and the beginning of may which makes him being on a honeymoon. things are doing well for him!
career: he has been doubting himself a lot lately, especially when it comes to his capacities of being an idol also because there’s a few things that have scared him and that provoked a lot of emotional turmoil since it could have impacted his idol image. Johnny is also having some type of blockages with his career 
self: he is going through a lot of indecisions, a lot of thoughts a lot of confusion about why life does certain things to him. he feels like he has been screwed around and that life isn't fair to him 
Taeyong
love: Taeyong is also in a relationship at the moment. Despite everything he was able to make everything official before his departure to the military service. thighs are okay for him and this relationship is something that he has been manifesting for so long, so he is happy 
career: i couldn't get much about his career, since at the moment everything is on hold 
self: he has been a little bit “foolish” lately, making decisions without thinking though and overall doing things that are perceived by others are very word and out of reality 
Yuta
love: he has been dating the same person since april and everything seems to be doing well. Yuta is very curious about them and everyday is a day where he learns new things and where he is stimulated. healthy relationship so far
career: i believe that Yuta was some serious issues with either the ceo of SM either his sponsor, because there’s a heavy masculine energy around him that has been mistreating him and Yuta is reaching his limit 
self: he has been distracted lately, more lazy and overall not so much with his head on what matters. yuta has slowly become more apathetic form things in general 
Doyoung
love: Doyoung is dating at the moment, although the relationship feels quite rush at the moment because they had a huge argument that almost made them split apart. he still has things on his throat that he wishes to say but he doesn't 
career: lately, he has been more on the introverted side. he doesn't spend time with his members nor does he want to be associated with people from sm or his group for reasons that are mostly personal to him. he also wants to be more respected there 
self: he hasn't been play lately, and although he receives some support from people outside, he has been ignoring them as much as he can 
Jaehyun
love: HE IS DATING!! pack it up, jaehyun is dating and actually for now the relationship is serious and balanced !! i don't have much information about it 
career: he is a little tired of the image he has. Because that image his fans have of him, does not allow him to be his true self. in the past years that didn't brothers him, but now as he grows older and his career is fixated, he is getting bored of it 
self: he is lost in his emotional turmoil. I believe that doyoung at the moment is just living his life aimlessly without much thought. this is quite sad, as i feel like he  has lost his spark as well 
Jungwoo
love: his love life is complicated. He is dating but this person wants things that he cannot give and also because they have way too much influence on him. so he just follows that without putting his own needs in the relationship 
career: some complications but overall he is okay. He just needs to be careful with the type of image he gives to others outside his idol image. because it can rub the wrong people in the wrong ways
self: I am worried about the type of lifestyle he has been living. since these things could potentially have a bad impact on his health in the future. Jungwoo isn't exactly very conscious of the things he does 
Mark
love: I believe that Mark is in a relationship with someone else (not his idol ex) and that he is happy with this person but he is still.. well a little bit scared due to how his past relationship ended 
career: he isn't really okay with everything that has been happening. mark feels like the company gives him way too much to do and he often has to sacrifice projects to due others, because his schedule is too tight. he wishes to have a little more freedom to choose instead of allowing the company to take decisions for him 
self: he is okay, he has just been very anxious lately because of some things he has no control over. the fact that he cannot control these is what makes him anxious. But other than that, he is okay 
Haechan
love: he is in a relationship at the moment, but he feels.. well bored? as if this relationships isn't bringing him any pleasure or contentment and he is just in there because he doesn't want to be alone 
career: Haechan is rather satisfied with his career and how things are going. he has a good relationship with everyone he works it and honestly it feels like he does his job because he likes t and has fun  
self: lately it has been complicated with him. Haechan still uses his unhealthy coping mechanism whenever he's having a hard time. and lately, well he has been overall struggling with his mental health 
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torialefay · 5 months
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this may be kind of an unusual question so feel free to ignore it, but i tend to make lots of links and associations of concepts/situations with music and stuff and so i'm curious, what are some songs that you'd pick to describe what it would be like to be in a relationship with chan? or some songs that suit his placements (for example, i think work song by hozier is peak scorpio venus devotion level haha)
okay i LOVE this question!!! (also currently in a hozier phase so i love that you brought up that song.) if you have any other recs, pls send them my way, but here's some that had come to mind:
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✨🎶 Dating Channie Sounds Like 🎶✨
the friendship/relationship stage:
i don't think it's just me who thinks that chan is gonna have to know & be friends with someone before progressing to a romantic relationship. i think he could definitely pine over someone for a while and be too scared to say anything. and then if something DID happen between the two of you, you would have to hide it for a pretty longgg time. that's why i chose these 2 songs :)
• human - dodie ft tom walker ✨
• hush hush - the band camino✨
actual committed relationship phase:
• medicine - royal sugar ✨ this gives me such new-relationship, pent-up sexual tension vibes. this man would not be able to stop thinking ab you sexually when you first get together... 100%. sex w/ him is likely initially more fun, like in this song, but once he gets to KNOW you, it gets wayyyy deeper
• tenerife sea - ed sheeran ✨ this one might be a cop-out bc chan has sung it multiple times on channie's room but i couldn't NOT put it in here. moving past the superficial, this song paints such a new, mesmerizing love story. you are elated you finally found your person.
• mess is mine - vance joy ✨ i'm sorry but the lyrics "this body is yours and mine" & "now your mess is mine" is so channie-coded to me. he is offering himself up to you. anything you want from him is yours & he will take on all of your hurt
• fire and the flood AND lay it on me - vance joy ✨ these were just so all-encompassing, i couldn't not include them. you become the most consuming part of his life. he quite literally can't go a day without thinking of you and how fucking attached his heart is to yours. you are his everything and only thing. "i always feel you in my blood" & "your love's always finding me out."
• until you - ahi ✨ this song isn't as relevant NOW, but it really throws me into a pre-debut channie love story tbh. bless his little heart 💔 i couldn't NOT include it bc it's still beautiful.
• anointed - miguel AND religion - lana del rey ✨ these have the same purpose, so i'm including them together. when channie is truly in love with you, he won't fuck you- he fucking worships you. well, you worship each other in the bedroom. and i feel this a million times. he needs something deeper and he needs to feel consumed in it. praising each other until you physically have no stamina left in your body.
tough times/drifting apart/ fights:
sorry but i had to add a couple of angsty songs that i could totally see playing out in a relationship w channie </3
• fleeting love - royal sugar ✨ i 100% see this song being about your struggles with a long distance relationship. not being able to work anything out, but also not being able to let them go. "in the elevator with your passport... goodbye is 10 floors down." you just want him so badly, but you don't know you can do this. you were so happy to have him, even if just for a little bit.
• berenstein - the band camino ✨ chan always talks about alternate universes, so i had to add this one in. the line "at another place in time, you were infinitely mine," it makes me think so much about if you were perfect with channie, and you both knew that... but you simply couldn't be with him because of his idol life. but you knew that somewhere out there in a parallel universe, he wasn't an idol, and you were together like you were meant to be :((((
bonus song:
this song reminds me SO MUCH of chris. the first time i heard it, i instantly thought of him. it isn't a love song by any means, it just makes me think of him && his life/all he's been through ❤️
• time's eyes - riley pearce ✨
if anyone has a song they automatically think of with channie, pls pls pls let me knowwww!!!
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