#and now you get sad matty and ross

[allylikethecat]

Chapters: 11/? Fandom: The 1975 (Band) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: George Daniel/Matthew Healy Characters: Matthew Healy, George Daniel, Ross Macdonald, Adam Hann, Jamie Oborne Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Past Drug Addiction, Mpreg Summary:

Matty lied, which was probably a mistake since he was a shit liar on a good day, and today wasn’t a good day. He was much better at just, not saying anything, even though his therapist had told him that was really just lying by omission. He couldn’t meet Jamie’s eyes, and knew he was sweating nervously. He was hyper aware that he could feel the wand in his back pocket.

.

Just like in the bathroom after the show, two parallel lines stared back at him, confirming deep down what he already knew. The test was positive.

[graciegoeskrazy]

they’re just girls

Matty Healy + Teen!Sister!reader

warnings: sad, fluffy, some language ig??

a/n: HI HERES MATTY THING

The both of you made a point to call each other a few times a week, not wanting the distance between you two get in the way of the brother-sister bond. It was usually after school. It didn’t matter if he was in the same city or on the other side of the world in a completely different time zone. He always made a point to call. You got grounded for two weeks starting yesterday. Something about coming home drunk on prom night. (You couldn’t remember all the details because you were too drunk) You didn’t want to mess with your mother so you let it be. You make sure to fill Matty in on your endeavors that night.

He took a puff from a cig as you spoke. “How come Mum is forbidding me from going to parties meanwhile you and all your friends went out everywhere all the time.”

He let out a smile. “She never let me go anywhere. Me and the lads always snuck out.”

You rolled your eyes. That made much more sense. “When will you come to visit?” You asked, voice pleading.

His smirk of a smile quickly faded. “Hard to say, my love. I’m on tour right now so things are a bit complicated.”

“You can’t even come for my birthday?” Your voice pleaded.

“I don’t think so, love. I’m afraid i’m stuck here.” He felt really bad. He really did. It didn’t matter how old you were, you were the baby of the family. His baby. He felt bad enough missing out on you growing up, practically leaving by the time you could babble. He was determined not to miss out on your life. And he didn’t. Despite the enormous age gap and expectations from others to not be the normal sibling type, he made efforts, and the payed off. “Hey.” He said. You slowly looked back at him. You could tell he was sorry. “I’ll find my way home soon. Just takes time, right?”

You looked outside the window next to your bed again. “Yeah.” His heart ached seeing you like this. It became quiet between you two. You sat still looking out, biting your nails. Until, “I gotta go. I have a test I need to study for.”

He sighed, taking another smoke. “Alright.”

“Bye.” You said, turning back to him showing a smile. One he could clearly see through.

“Goodnight, sissy.” He said.

“Night.”

…

Cut to a few days later. Your friend texts you and says that her sister has 2 extra tickets for a 1975 show in London and asks if you want to go. You were technically still grounded so you knew your mom wouldn’t love the idea of a 4-hour road trip with your friends, even if it was to his son’s concert. You recalled the conversation with your brother from a few nights ago. You have barely spoken since then, other than when he commented on a post you made and when you told him to ‘stfu’ when he posted something stupid on his story. You remembered him telling you that he snuck out, and snuck out often.

You were a good girl. As bold and ruthless as you were, you never spoke back, never got in trouble (until now), and you were a straight A student with a stellar GPA. Besides there were other thing your mother and father should be worrying about other than you sneaking out frot a night.

You thought about it for a few minutes, pondering your decision, before eventually texting back your friend and telling her you were in.

You packed your bag in a rush the next day. packing just an outfit for the concert and another comfy one for the late night ride back. As you walked out the front door, not worrying about your mother because she was still working, the realization hit you. You still hadn't told your brother.

…

Hours later, at the actually barricade, situated in the perfect spot between where you brother and Ross would be, you still didn’t. You pondered how you would do it, teasing your friend that you wouldn't tell him at all and wait for him to come out. But, there were too many people in the crowded area and you didn’t want to take that chance. You opened up his contact and texted him a picture of the blue curtain right in front of you. To no one's surprise, he called you immediately.

“Y/n Healy.” He said, as soon as the Facetime connected.

You payed dumb, your friend letting out a laugh as you spoke. “Yessss?”

“Where to fuck are you?” he said.

You played dumb, in hopes of pissing him off more, “Um…at a concert!”

“Who’s concert?” You could hear the band laughing in the background. Matty must have filled hem in.

You shrugged before looking at the camera. “This shit rock band.”

He rolled his eyes and you could hear George let out a laugh beside him. “Does Mum know you’re here?” Your demeanor changed as you tired your best to hold in giggles. “Y/n!” He said.

“What? I missed you!”

“That does not give you an excuse to lie to our parents and take a spontaneous road trip to my gig!” People around started paying attention to the man on your phone screen, realizing it was the man they had come to see.

You smiled. “Well, nice to see you too!”

“Oh my God.” He said, yet again rolling his eyes.

George took the phone from him, knowing his best friend was getting nowhere. “Hi, munchkin.”

“Hi, George!” You smiled. It had been an even longer while since you’ve seen the band.

“Snuck out, did you?” He asked.

“Maybe?” You said, smiling. Even more people started setting whispers. You didn’t care.

“Hm. You at the barricade?”

“Yep! I’m watching the show tonight whether my brother likes it or not!” You replied, smiling once more.

“Nice! I’ll give you a stick.” He smiled before your brother cut it short.

“Stop incoraging her. Give me the phone-“

He reluctantly handed the phone back. “I’m texting Mum. I’m telling her you’re here.”

“Oh, so when you snuck out and did things it was fine? Dude, It’s a 1975 concert. There are more dangerous places to be.”

“You’re 16. You can’t even drive yet, love!”

“Hey! I have my permit.” You said defending yourself.

“Your permit not a license!”

You thought for a moment then rolled your eyes. “It’s fine.”

He sighed. “I’m texting Mum.” He hung up after that.

…

Mum | Go have fun. Give him a big hug for me, alright?

y/n | I’m sorry for sneaking out and driving several hours and lying to you.

Mum | I knew you left, my love. It’s okay.

Mum| I told him to take care of you tonight and send you off in the morning. Be nice and be careful please🩷

y/n | yes maam.

…

Mum | Take care of my girl or you’re grounded.

Matty | I’m 35 mum

Mum | I mean it.

Matty | Love u too

[god-has-entered-my-body]

You said some day we might - M.H x Reader // pt.3

A/N: This one's a bit NSFW (minors please don't interact), also angsty and sad at parts. TW for hard drugs, take care of yourselves! This is loosely based off of my own experience, and I am not trying to glamorize it. Ily my dearest @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff for making sure it isnt shit xx

wc: 4k

part four

Picture a scene: flashing lights all around you, colors blinding as they move through the room, seemingly liquid. Music pounding in your head, almost as if it was trying to force its way into your body. People sweating, dancing up against strangers. You feel alive. 

Matty dances next to you, throwing his hands up into the air. You can hear screams as the music changes, now playing Britney Spears’ ‘Toxic’. He wouldn't admit it if you held a gun to his head, but he loves this song. Your hips sway to the beat, and you can feel arms on your waist. It's not Matty. The fuck? 

You didn't know this guy, but his hands were grabbing at you roughly like you were supposed to. His grin disgusted you. (Not so) politely shoving him off, you dance toward Matty, tapping his shoulder three separate times. That was code for ‘bathroom, now’. He nods, taking your hand and leading you towards the edge of the crowd. The sea of people thins out as you finally spot the glowing sign for the loo. 

“You alright?” He asks as you enter the bathroom. The walls were covered in graffiti, stickers, and the occasional phone number. There wasn't the classic smell of piss and sweat, which is why you liked Sound. It was fairly clean. The sinks were made of metal, and so was everything else. The lights were dim, and the mirrors dirty, lipstick stains adorning the edges. You can hear the faint noise of toilets flushing in the background. 

“I'm fine, I s’pose, just that guy was rubbing up against me all weird.” You fix your hair in the mirror, refreshing your eyeliner before passing it to Matty so he could do the same. You had taught him how to do it himself, saving you a load of time and effort whenever you were getting ready together. Tonight's color was red, both of you were wearing the same shade. 

The stall door flings open as a girl stumbles out, almost falling before she caught herself on the hand dryer. Fixing her bra strap, she wiped the edges of her mouth clean before reaching into her small blue handbag. Out comes a small baggie with white powder in it. You immediately recognise it. Blow. 

While you and Matty smoked copious amounts of weed, neither of you had ever tried anything harder. An exception was the occasional acid trip, and even that was a one off on Ross’ 18th birthday.  

Both you and Matty watch her intently as she starts cutting up lines on the edge of the sink, not caring that both your eyes were on her. She takes out a £5 note, rolling it before snorting the line. Her hair is wild as she lifts her head back up, turning to the mirror to fix it. 

“D’you fancy some, love? I have plenty for you,” she looks over to Matty, flashing him a smile  “and your friend, as well.” 

It takes you a split second to realize her statement was directed at you. Matty turns to make eye contact, before doing something you didn't expect. 

He nods, taking a step towards the girl. You do the same. ‘If you're going to try it’, you thought, trying to rationalize, ‘who better than with Matty?’

She shakes more of the powder onto the sink, cutting two lines for the both of you, and one more for herself. You notice the card she uses is a school I.D. A high school I.D.

She hands you the rolled up note first, and for some reason, you feel calm. ‘This is fine’ you repeat in your head, before opening your mouth to speak. 

“This is blow, yeah?” you ask, looking up at her from your position, which was currently hunched over the sink. It's cold, colder than it was. 

“Yeah, clean shit too, don't worry,” she offers a genuine smile, stroking your hair with her long, black nails. You steal a glance at Matty, who was now sitting on the sink next to you, watching closely. You nod, turning back to the line of white powder in front of you

You take a deep breath before snorting the line. It burns as it travels through your nostrils, and you don't feel anything for a second.

And then, it hits you. 

It hits you fast. Everything feels amplified, and you barely register as Matty snorts his. You feel good, euphoric even. Matty feels the same way, letting out a shout when he does lift his head from the sink. 

The girl was long gone when you exited the bathroom and reentered the crowd. You danced with Matty, the music controlling your movements. Deciding to get a drink, you drag him to the bar. The bartender looks you up and down, before shaking his head. He knew you were on something, but that wasn't a rarity in clubs like Sound. Everyone was on something, so, fuck it! Why couldn't you do the same?

Matty orders for you. A french martini and a glass of Malbec for him. The bartender raised his eyebrows at his drink order. “Who orders wine at a club?” he shouts over the music. Matty rolls his eyes before responding “I do! Why, d’you fancy buying me a drink when you get off?” he winks at him provocatively before taking the drinks from the counter. 

He hands you your drink, bringing his hand up to your face, wiping off the smudged makeup underneath your eyes. That's when you realize how hot it was. ‘Fucking hell’ you thought. ‘When did it get so hot? Jesus Christ, it's like I'm in a sauna’.

Matty had downed his glass of wine in two large gulps, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his your wine red jumper. You rake your eyes over his body, a thin layer of sweat shone on his forehead. His eyeliner was somehow still perfect. 

He was perfect. 

March, 2008 // two months earlier

The mid afternoon sun was beating down onto your skin. The blanket beneath you molding to the ridges of the earth, digging into your back. You were lying in a field, surrounded by daisies and dandelions blowing softly in the breeze, a half-empty packet of crisps on your left. Your arms were sprawled out to the side, with Matty lying peacefully on top of you.

Adam had situated himself on a flimsy fold up chair. He hated sitting on the ground with a burning passion. You had promptly forgiven him for leaving you to fend for yourselves that past weekend, seeing as he promised to pay club covers for a month as an apology. Just you though, seeing as Matty would have abused the ever living hell out of Hann’s wallet if given the chance. 

George and Ross were in the lake located a few dozen meters from where you were sitting, having a swim. The weather was uncharacteristically nice given that you were in Great Britain, land of miserable weather, so the five of you had set out for a makeshift picnic at the last minute. 

It wasnt aesthetically pleasing by any means, with fag packets litering the dirty old blanket Ross had found in an old closet. Ross’ beer bottles were lined up at the edge of the blanket. You grab a pack, presumably Georges, and light up. Marlboro golds, not your favorite, but they’ll do. Breathing in the smoke, you turn your head to get a better look at Matty, who was draped over you, using your chest as a pillow.  

You wore Mattys sunflower shirt, unbuttoned, revealing a black sports bra underneath. He, in turn, wore one of your tops. Specifically, a lavender baby tee with the words ‘dump him’ scrawled across the chest in white glitter. Adam was dressed like a divorced dad, beige linen trousers paired with a Metallica band shirt. You laughed when you saw him, knowing he’d be sweating in under an hour wearing that.

Soft music played in the background, the speaker having been lost underneath the pile of Ross and George's clothes. The air smelled of summer, even if it was only March. You spot the wine bottle in Mattys hand as he tilted his head up, taking a drink. You tap him on the arm, and he hands you the bottle. 

White wine? Matty rarely drank white wine. You brushed it off, it was probably just the cheapest thing at the store. Matty loved expensive red wine, but did not have the money to pay for it, always settling for the bottle with the lowest price tag. Your attention is drawn to George screaming incoherent curses at Ross for throwing a rock at him. Absolute knobheads. 

“D’you reckon we need sunscreen? I don't wanna age my skin anymore than it already has.” he asked, his fingers lingering on his face. His skin was perfect, not a single blemish tarnishing it. “I dunno, I don't think we need to. It's not that hot.” you answer, looking around you. “It's not looking like we have any anyway” you add. 

You could feel Mattys' breath on you, ghosting over your chest. His legs moved, brushing against yours. You were suddenly very aware of the fact he was laying on top of you. It made you feel hot, and not because of the sun. 

He rolled on top of you, now straddling your legs. He was clearly drunk, slurring his words. His eyes stared into yours with such an intensity, you would've thought he was trying to read your mind. His face was bare, but the glitter from last night's adventures still stained his face, giving him a slight shine.

A smile crept onto his face as he brushed his hair out of his face. The blonde highlights had slightly grown out by now, and you made a mental note to ask him if he wanted you to do his roots. 

“Didnt you want to cut my hair?” He asked, and you recognised that look in his eye. Excitement. He jumps up, crawling to get his bag.

“I brought a pair of scissors, d’you wanna cut it now?” He held up pink kitchen scissors, handing them to you as you moved to a sitting position.  

“Are you sure? These are not meant for ha-” “I don't careee, just do it!” he slurred, cutting you off and settling between your crossed legs. He turns and looks at you expectantly, and you sigh in defeat. 

You try your best, snipping away at his hair randomly. Cutting layers into his hair, you try to make the strands around his face shorter. He giggles as it tickles his face, brushing it off his skin. The sun made him appear as if he were glowing, painting him in an orange hue. Trying not to cut it too short, you tug at it to get a good idea of the length. 

A soft groan escapes Mattys mouth, and he tries to pass it off as a cough, avoiding your gaze. A few minutes later, you tug at it again. A little experiment , if you will. This time, the noise is slightly clearer, and his whole body twitches. He busies himself with the bottle of wine in his hands, inspecting the label.  

He admires your work in a little compact mirror you had found in your bag. “So.. do you like it? Or have I completely fucked your hair?” you ask, watching his reflection. Matty grins, slamming the mirror shut. 

“I love it! The layers make me look hot, so you did your job right!” He pulled you in for a hug, kissing all over your face: He was obviously drunker than you thought.

You lay back on your elbows, closing your eyes, letting the sun shine onto your skin. This was nice. You felt truly alive.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Skin against skin, soft moans filled the room. You didn't even know who they belonged to. Desire took over your bodies like a foreign force. The room was dark, the only light coming from the streetlamp just outside, illuminating the space. 

“Fuck- can I?” hands trailed down your chest, toying with the buttons of your shirt. You nod frantically, smashing his lips back against yours. You find his hair, pulling slightly as he lets out a pathetic whimper. You drink in the noise as if it was the very essence of life, tugging even harder at the curls. Curls. Matty.

“Mmh- ah, fuck-” You can feel him against your thigh. You can feel Matty grinding against you. The thought makes your head spin, and you throw your head back, your hair splayed over the baby blue pillows. Mattys pillows.   

“You're so- you’re so beautiful, just let me- i’ll-” he cuts himself off, trailing his lips down your jaw, leaving searing, hot kisses in his wake. His mouth makes contact with your collarbone, biting down. You hiss, your nails digging into his scalp. He groans. Matty

His rough hands rub the tattoo on your hip, you feel his rough calluses. You pull his hair, making him look at you. Your eyes rake over his face, the glitter around his eyes shimmering in the faint light. His hand comes up to push your shirt up, the material bunching up where his mouth had just been. You make eye contact again. 

He grins before licking one long stripe along the expanse of your ribcage, letting out an obscene moan as he did. He was putting on a show, for you. The noise goes straight to your core. 

His fingers snap the elastic of your black underwear, making you jump. A laugh. Teeth graze your hip bone, tracing the tattoo. You can feel him slipping the lace down your thighs, licking and sucking lower, lower, lower…

You jolt awake suddenly, hot sweat running down your back. You turn to look at the time. 2:53am. 

What the fuck was that?

You close your eyes, the dream replaying in your head. Lips, your lips and his. Teeth, kisses down your neck, Matty, Matty, Matty-

You stop yourself, shoving your face into a pillow. This can't be happening. This wasn't real. This was all hallucination and you didn't just have a wet dream involving your best mate. 

Letting out a groan, you lay back down facing the wall. You desperately, desperately needed a good lay. If it had come to you having fucking dreams about Matty of all people, you knew it was time to find a guy and just shag him. That would solve your little predicament, you were sure of it. 

—------------------------------------------------------------

Admiring yourself in the mirror, you hike the ruched material of your dress up even further. Jewelry covered you from head to toe, complimenting the details of your bag perfectly. Hair done up in curls, you knew you were ready. 

You were going out. Alone.

The heel of your shoe clicked nervously against the pavement as you queued, giving the bouncer, James, a nod as he waved you through. “No Matty today?” he questioned, referring to the fact that you were alone.  

“Yeah, I'm out alone tonight. Matty is… sick. The flu.” you lie through your teeth, not wanting to disclose the real reason behind your solo-mission. The plan was to find a guy, any guy, and forget about that godforsaken dream.  

The music was loud, even louder than usual, and you were stone cold sober. Not good. 

Making your way to the bar, you order your usual, a french martini. Tobias, the bartender, handed your drink, and you close out. You didn't want to get hammered tonight. 

Your fingers drum along to the beat as you sip your drink, scanning the crowd. There weren't many people dancing, seeing as it was a Sunday night. Most had work in the morning, so going out wasn't an option. He had asked you if you really didn't want anything else, even offering you a drink in the house. You politely decline with a shake of your head, assuring him it was alright.

Suddenly, a tall man appeared in your peripheral vision. You had seen him a few times before, wandering about, flirting with the female waitresses. Blonde hair, blue eyes. The complete opposite of Matty. His arm rested against the bar, and you could see him flexing his muscles. On purpose. Jesus.  

He strolled up to you with an air of confidence. Turning to Tobias, he asked him what your drink was. “A french martini,” he answered, looking you up and down “and she's only had one the entire night.” The man laughs, “Well that wont do! Let me buy you a drink sweetheart, on me.” 

You nod, turning to face him. A smile makes its way onto your lips. Perfect . 

He introduces himself as David. He works an office job down the road, something something marketing. You didn't really listen to him, only laughing when he paused, expecting it

He seemed solid, and he was 19, so not too old. You really didn't want to deal with another Phillip situation. He had bought you three, quite pricey, drinks, and you knew he wanted more. 

He eventually asked if you wanted to come back to his place for some wine. You agreed, letting yourself be led out of the club by your wrist. James winked at you knowingly as you left.

He had a silver Toyota, the interior a cream leather. It was a big difference to Hann’s beaten up red Kia, but you weren't complaining. He was nice enough, opening the car door for you. 

The inside of his flat reeked of sickly sweet vanilla and cheap cologne. He opened a bottle of wine for the both of you, pouring two glasses. The conversion was mundane, but he was nice enough. You had switched your phone off, not wanting anything to distract you from your mission. He had made a move to sit next to you, his hand trailing up your thigh, inching higher with every word he uttered.

His mouth was against your ear, whispering sweet nothings into it, his other hand finding your chest, pushing you down onto the sofa. You let him move you, twist you as he pleased. It didn't mean anything to you, you just needed to get Matty out of your head. Matty.

His hands were soft, like he moisturized them regularly. You could feel his lips on your chest, leaving bite marks and kisses, but you didn't feel anything. Closing your eyes, you decide to let him do all of the work. You had even worn your only pair of lace underwear, a black number with a little bow on the front of the matching bra. The same pair you had worn in the dream. 

You mentally curse yourself, kissing David deeper, harder than you did before. Forget, forget, forget. 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------

He wasn't the worst, but at least he tried. You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Laying on his (quite expensive looking) leather couch, you watch him as he gets dressed. He asks you if you need anything, and you answer with a shake of your head. You just wanted to leave. 

A phone buzzes, and you quickly realize it's yours. You pick it up, the screen lighting up. 3 missed calls from Matty, and 4 texts from him as well. 

// Where r you? I’m at your window. 

// Are you well? 

// Answer me for fucks sake, dont do this.

// I hope you’ve died or smth, you’re well fucking me off. 

You sigh, clicking the call button. It rings for a split second before Matty picks up. 

“Now you decide to ring me back? I thought you’d been picked up by a sex trafficker or something. Fuck you, honest,” his voice sounded worried, even tired, if you ignored the nature of his words. 

“Sorry mate, I was out.” You answer curtly, trying to keep your voice steady. Your fingers tap against the glass of the coffee table, and you hear Matty inhale sharply. 

“Out where? And why did it take me three calls and four messages to get a ring back?” he sounded more aggressive this time, and you could tell he had gotten up from wherever he was sitting. This pissed you off. Why does he have the right to know where you are, it didn’t concern him in the slightest, and he wasn't your father. You told him as much. 

“I was out, alright? I'm at David's place right now, and I'll be at yours in an hour, cool?” A moment of silence passes between you two before Matty spits out. “Whos the fuck is David?” The way he said his name made it sound like you had shagged his worst enemy, not some random guy. 

“He's just a bloke I met at Sound, I went to his place. D’you want me over or should I fuck off home?” The second option was just a courtesy, you were sure he’d want you over. You hadn’t seen each other since Friday. 

“Nah, it's alright, go home.” His voice sounded cold, unfeeling. A shudder made its way up your spine. He didn't sound like himself at all. What the fuck? “I have erm.. work to catch up on. You understand.” No you didnt fucking understand. 

You open your mouth to protest, but are rudely interrupted by a faint noise. The dial tone. Matty had hung up on you. Your mouth let out a gasp in disbelief. Fuck him. Fuck him all the way. 

You gather your things. While trying to find your shoes, David comes back into the room. You tell him you need to leave, and he tries to kiss you goodbye. It feels wrong. 

Deciding to walk barefoot, you do the walk of shame at 1 in the morning. Heels in one hand, your purse in the other, you trudge down the pavement. You feel dirty, like you did something inherently wrong.

Cars whizz by you, and you hear sirens in the background. It's cold, and you can feel goosebumps forming on your skin in the soft breeze. Feeling around for your cigarettes, you come across something small towards the bottom of your purse. You pull it out, your eyes widening at the sight. The lighter. Mattys lighter. 

The white letters on the side point and laugh at you. You can hear it. It was even more chipped than it was that night, how did it still work? M.H. Matty. 

In a fit of rage you chucked the lighter onto the ground in front of you. It splinters off, the metal top flying off onto the road. A car drives over it. You were angry. Angry at yourself for even going out alone. For going home with fucking David. You were angry at Matty for being angry at you. You didn't even understand why, but the mere fact he had hung up on you made your blood boil.

The lighter was now in pieces beneath your feet. The white letters, illegible. Feeling powerful, you decide to kick the rest of the plastic off onto the road, hoping a giant truck would run it over. You wanted Matty at your feet like this, pathetic and powerless. You needed him like this, to show him he can't just hang up on you like you're nothing. 

The mental image of Matty at your feet made warmth spread throughout your body. On his knees, looking up at you with glassy, glitter framed eyes. You wanted to take his beautiful hair and weave it between your fingers, forcing him to look up at you. You wanted to hear the pathetic whimpers escape his mouth, just like they did in your dream. 

You feel breathless, staring at the wet pavement where the lighter once was. You keep walking.   

[noacfapologyst]

night love confessions — matty healy

summary: after a night party, matty has the idea (or the need) to confess his love to you.

warnings: some kind of mention about get drunk, alcohol, drugs and substances (but nothing very explicit) nocturnal melancholy, sad atmosphere and some mentions of touches.

wordcounter: 3,4k

a/n: hey everybody! this is my first au and even i'm scary i really hope you enjoy and like the story, maybe then could put this into a general universe, but idk, it depends i think if it works and if the people like it. anyway, thanks for giving the chance to read it. last thing, english is not my first language so if something it's bad i apologize for that too.

hope you enjoy it 🖤

The bottles that are opened, the containers that fall to the ground, the footsteps of shoes, the music that resonates through the speakers and deafens your ears.

The group of guys you're looking at, the smile one of them gives you at the end of the track. The adrenaline when listening to the band's new song composed by your friends, the lights that make you lose, you feel everything in slow motion.

You drum your fingers on the red disposable cup, before pouring the harsh liquid down your throat and feeling the traces of the rest on your tongue. There is a silence on you, but then you return to the ring with a small scream of happiness, which perhaps multiplies the state you are by a third.

You don't know how many glasses you've had, enough so that your sobriety is hanging by a thread and the hangover of the morning with your head exploding is too evident, but you know that this time nothing else has been mixed. Last time the story didn't end too well, jumping over security fences outside an abandoned club to end up with a sprained right foot and several bruises is not something you want to repeat two weeks later.

— Does anyone know where the hell Matty has gone? — George exasperates, raising his voice over the speakers. Everyone looks at each other confused, without having a clear answer. — God, this guy is going to give me a bad headache one day. —Although he is drunk and has red eyes, he is at his most sane. — You are surprised and turn your expression into an "o".

— He was here a few moments ago, I swear. — Ross responds a while later, moving up to follow him into the crowd.

You sigh a little tired, lately it has become the same routine and with regret inside you decide that you should abandon the staring contest with the black-haired man who is a few meters in front of you.

— I'll bring him back in a moment, let me take care of this. — You pronounce with difficulty, slurring the words and pouting.

— Well, if you can't find us we're probably outside. — Brown hair appears behind George, and even though you know you know the girl, you don't remember her name. You just know that from time to time she and your friend go to some bars .

— She's right. I need to sleep right now. —Ross exclaims, running the fold of her fingers over the sockets of his eyes. — Find him and then we'll leave.

You know Matty well enough to know that when he separates from the group, there are three places he can be doing: 1) In the outside or inside courtyard smoking some kind of cigarette, it's always a different edition so you don't know what you'll find. 2) In the nearest bathroom, with a card in hand and light white tints under the nose and nails. 3) Flirt with the first person you meet at the bar, spending the little money on drinks that will later be deposited on his bed.

— And if you don't find it, what? —Adam asks, in a tone of total concern.

— I will do it, I promise.

— Just... let us know when you get home, girl. —George closes the conversation and everyone else nods at his request, shakes their heads in response and greets them with a "yes, goodbye" in the air.

You hate a little, a lot, the rock superstar life that your entire band has led, it has been like this for years, but especially since they managed to make their first album become famous so quickly, and have devastated the sales stands and the lists have them in their heads. In fact, while you're debating where to start looking for it, Girls starts playing through the speakers. Great, the world makes fun of you with good satire.

It doesn't matter that you don't have clarity to think, your body moves for you and makes its way through quite a few people, until you touch a wall that has two exits: the bathroom and the courtyard. You breathe and try to lower your level to one less, until your instinct kicks in and you know you'll find Matty smoking.

Then you go out to the inner courtyard with the frost freezing your back. Adam was right, you needed your jacket that you left at his house a few hours earlier. The wind makes your eyes turn to glass in a sense, but you don't plan on giving up when you know you're committed to finding and bringing it home in the best condition possible.

You find it almost at the end of the place, away from the main entrances, which catches your attention. He has his leather jacket over his knees, which leaves his arms unprotected despite how thin they are. He's frowning, and when you get closer you see that he's exhaling and inhaling with a thoughtful expression, there's something troubling him even though you can't figure it out.

You reach his side of him and look for a small place to sit, he still has n't realized that someone else is with him, he's still absorbed.

— No girl today? What a loser. — You wake him up and make him jump in his place. — The boys are gone.

— Shit, girl. You really scared me.— He puts his hand on his chest, exactly on his heart. He gives you a half-shot of his eyes, they're freshly red, and you grimace silently. — She's gone too.

— Who? — You cross your legs, and your fishnet stockings catch on a tile out of place. — Shit, they were new. — You moan and realize that you are freezing.

— Luckily for you, buying another one is not difficult. —Now you are the one who frowns while exhaling a considerable amount of smoke.

— Are you okay, Matty? — You don't know why you use his name, but sometimes it helps to bring him back to reality. You look at him when he shakes his head and laughs sarcastically, his curls are out of control and half of them are hanging over his forehead, but he has not bothered to fix them, his white t-shirt he has small red wine stains on it. You can't help but worry about him even if you don't know what you're really into, he's one of the people you love the most and seeing him so subdued burns you more than the glass you drank ten minutes ago. He starts to close his eyes and breathe easier, or so you think. — Hey, I'll take you home, come on.

— Honey, look at me. It's a fucking party and I'm smoking alone. — Speak in the deepest voice, seriously about the subject. Well, that hurts. — Come here. — He hits the jacket that falls on her knees so that you can rest your head there.

He knows that you will not refuse, perhaps because the jacket will keep you warm, because you are tired or because you are very busy and worried. About him you will do everything he asks. Then he drops his head there and slowly rests his legs on the pavement.

Matty's head is about to explode, and not necessarily because of the amount of cocaine he has consumed, although a significant part of it is a factor. He's grateful to have his head against the wall, although he doesn't remember how he got to that position. because he knows that otherwise he would do anything that would ruin the whole environment, no matter how small and silly it was. Lately he's screwed up more things than he's done right, but maybe this is what he longs for most in his life, that when all this terror and this endless nightmare is over (he's more convinced that it won't) you'll still be there, close to him, to support his head or lean on him.

Silence becomes your best friend over and over again. All he wants to do now is cross his hands below your waist and hold you for as long as he is allowed. But he doesn't, his hands are dirty and he couldn't afford to dirty his girl like that, he feels in the depths of his being that if he touched you even a millimeter he would ruin you to the core.

Basically the same feeling he had about himself several weeks ago, he couldn't take the responsibility of taking away all of your shine and everything that characterizes you as his favorite person. He is drugged and drunk, perhaps more than ever, but in this same hazy state he has discovered that perhaps the reason why he continues doing things without stopping is because it is a barrier to his feelings, it inhibits him from being able to think rationally and from being able to feel, It makes him believe that everything is possible, except being able to have you.

You remain motionless on his lap when you begin to close your eyes and he takes the opportunity to look at you, giving himself every detail, capturing the scene forever in his memory: look at how your locks fall on your forehead, how your chest rises and falls every time you you breathe, and the subtle smile on your lips that is the product of drunkenness that also causes a satirical laugh and then dies in its own tranquility. He also notices when you open your eyes, noticing his determined look and you raise an eyebrow in question.

— I need to die, now. Can we go now? — You whisper, also struggling to hold the moment for as many minutes as possible.

— One more and we'll leave, love. — The nickname causes a cerebral shock throughout your cortex, but you hide it with the freezing air that runs through there and you pass him the lighter that has fallen on the floor.— I'll wake you up... maybe in seven minutes? I can't count. — The two laugh and for a second they hold each other's gaze, shining and reflecting on each other.

— Promise? — You ask, and you raise your little finger.

— Promise. — He intertwines them and it's convincing enough for you that you soon go back to sleep, leaving your hand outstretched. Matty has no intention of breaking that contact, so he takes it upon himself to enjoy the seven minutes like this, usually blowing out some hair that obstructs her view of him.

When he is halfway through the fateful cigarette, he lets out the longest snort of the day. He feels the same as he did in Robbers' video. No, it's nonsense. That song was never written for you, but maybe he's relating it to others.

Oh, but it's automatic, the scene where he's on her lap in timeout, the thought that he could never let you go even if they were apart, everything he's begged for you to stay and all the times you haven't. was able to turn back. All those times when he was the cause of your suffering, when you ended up in the hospital due to his failure, when he wasn't there the day your father left, and how later you said he was fine and that it didn't matter.

Maybe you'd actually sum it up to something like I love you, don't you mind? Because nothing could happen above that, you loved Matty as if he were your other half and even if he meant suffering more than anything else, you accepted it because you preferred to have him than not. But you knew that those opportunities were nil, nothing more would happen with him and the almost kiss a few weeks ago had made it clear.

On the other hand, Matty had started to cry. The taste of the tobacco was now a mixture of salt water and nicotine.

— Time to leave. — He says it slowly, extinguishing the remains against the cement and drying the trace of his face.

They both get back together after a while with some effort. Then you extend your hand to him so you don't lose him in the crowd when you have to cross it. It takes some effort, but you manage to breathe in the fresh air and see the light from the post outside faster than you thought.

—Can I sleep at your house today? My house is...complicated. — The hands of you two let go as both begin to walk along the brick pavement of Manchester. There's a small ringing in your ears but you nod, he's not in the state to show up at his house.

— Yes. — Your direct word calm him to the point that he adopts a calm that does not allow him to see a loose cable in the street and trip over it. — You can't walk, at least not like this. — You say, reaching out to him with concern. — Here we go, big boy.

You grip his wrist tighter, trying to provide some stability, until he changes his grip and runs his hand around your waist, wrapping it around it and pulling you as close to him as he can, seeking to get you inside of him. When he moves his fingers he notices the temperature of your skin.

— You're cold, put on my jacket, please. — He brakes and looks at you defiantly, without losing that tone of chivalry.

— It's okay, we're close to my house. — You comment without paying attention to his frown. Then you see the light about to be left at the beginning of the block and break your hold under his watchful eye.

You run, always holding on to him until the central point of the park that you are crossing. Since you have his hand in yours, you spin him around a few times while neither of you can stop laughing.

They both feel like they are floating regardless of any other part of the world or any other matter. If they both touched their hearts they would discover that it is stronger than ever.

He caresses your cheek and takes the opportunity to smudge an eyelash. Then they melt into an embrace completely overflowing with desperation, love, affection, and the need to freeze there forever. Eternity in this line sounds incredible.

— I'm very glad to have you. — You murmur in his ear, and then you give his a kiss on the cheek. You don't need and don't want him to answer, so you decide to run to the door of your house and wait for him there.

Tomorrow he won't remember this, so it's okay, you tell yourself.

Tomorrow he'll remember every part of this, living it second by second, then it will all come flooding back to Matty breaking him deeply.

Then he arrives at your front door and between some silly jokes and some tripping objects, like your brother's toys or some discarded slippers, you make it to your room, although you need to use your supporting weight to carry Matty inside.

— I'll bring a glass of water and a hangover pill. — You tell him and disappear from your own room.

You go down the stairs and it seems that you also go down to reality.

What the fuck are you doing? What has happened and why hasn't you stopped sooner? You put your hand to your head in frustration and drink water, then fill another glass and look for the pills. Tomorrow you will not only have discomfort from the drink.

You return to the bedroom, opening and closing the door carefully. The scene petrifies you, he is sitting on the white back of your bed, taking up as much space as he can. Then he looks at you, and smiles at you as if he were a child who had just been caught being mischievous. You feel like you could die of lovey-dovey right now.

— I'm going to the bathroom to put on my pajamas. — You open the closet and take out the largest T-shirt you can find, then the pijamas that are clean. — Use this. — You stretch out your arm and he catches the shirt along with a pair of shorts, internally you wish he would finish before you leave the bathroom.

Being used to the routine, taking off your clothes and removing your makeup doesn't take you more than five minutes, just enough for him to scan every corner of the room after changing with quite some effort. He smiles when he sees the box full of Polaroids of you and the entire band, and then feels like he's dying a little more when he sees the self titled car at the head of your furniture.

You open the bathroom door and he needs to swallow hard to keep from stumbling. Even in your pink heart pijamas you look just as spectacular as you do in your black miniskirt and boots.

—You seem very....funny— You scan it and you laugh when you see how short the clothes you gave him are. Then you realize that the mattress is not here, but you don't want to go out and look for another one. —Does it bother you if we sleep together? —It's nothing you haven't done, but it still requires a certain degree of difficulty to ask.

He denies sweetly and moves away as far as he can when you get on your bed, there is an unbearable barrier between the two of you.

So, he lets it out. Something internally takes over him.

— You are my favorite person in the whole world, my love. — He try to whisper it because you force yourself to believe that he thinks you're sleeping. He doesn't manage to whisper it anyway, and you hear his voice begin to crack and his heart begin to pour out. Your greatest fear comes to light when the way he speaks condemns it, you've seen too many movies to know what's coming.

No. He can't do this to you, you can't bear that tomorrow he will forget about this entire night and you must pretend that for a moment it makes sense that he also loves you the same way you do. You want to believe that he dreams of you too.

— Don't do it, Matty. Please do not do it. — You say to him with all your strength, while a swirl of water begins to grow in the sockets of your eyes. —Just... don't.

— Why? — He whimpers and staggers in his speech, he's taking it all on herself not to show you that he's breaking into miles of pieces.

— Because you're high, very high. Tomorrow you won't remember anything about this night and you won't be able to pretend this never happened. — You turn slowly, and then you wipe away the first tear that runs on his eyelid. — I really wish things could be different and that you would make this confession when you're not high.

For a moment he stops talking and you think you've won the battle and that there is a temperance that calms the threat. But he falls apart.

— I love you. I've always loved you and I can't stand another damn minute without telling you. — Tears simply fall down both of their cheeks and soak the pillowcases. You shake your head non-stop in a negative way.

He can't just let go now, at the moment when you're most emotionally vulnerable, so that tomorrow he can go off with the first girl he finds. In the long run it has always been like this, he gets over it and you are still there with a broken heart and forever devoted to him.

—Go to sleep, Matty. — Your request breaks him a little more, the tone destroys him although it is not very strong. — Do not make it harder.

He shifts uneasily, but he also understands that he can't force you to feel the same way. What he doesn't know is that if he just said he wouldn't leave tomorrow, you would run into his arms.

But he doesn't do it, nor does he close his eyes to fall asleep. He's there, watching your every move still. You sigh, unable to bear it anymore, maybe tomorrow you will suffer from it but maybe if you let go now it will be easier to overcome.

— I love you too. The same way you do it. — You kiss his head one last time and murmur one last goodbye before turning to sleep. — And it's been an ordeal for me all this time, because you feel it more when you're high and I feel it more when I'm sober.

Apparently your brain works fast and allows you to fall into some dream where this whole story is happier before reality can attack you.

And that's how they finally fall asleep, the both with their hearts in each other's palms, with more scars than before.

Finally, everything gets comically better when you wake up a few hours later and there's no sign of Matty in your entire room.

Just make out that the glass of water is empty and the pill is not there. You laugh sadly before going to sleep without letting yourself cry again, he doesn't remember anything from the night before.

i won't apologize for this. however, thanks for reading <3 let me know what you thought or if you liked it.

Etiquetas: @cxcx75

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 16: Marry Me

A/n: I’m definitely not crying…. Sorry in advance for the sappy note: This series has been a whirlwind to write and I honestly went through it with this one. I hated it and loved it in equal measure (that’s on me though because I'm self-critical lol) but I'm truly sad it's over. I owe so much to this series, it was the first proper work I had published within this fandom, it brought me so many of you wonderful people. The main thing I want to say is thank you to every single person who read it, whether you’ve read one chapter or 16, THANK YOU!!! I just want to say that although the main series is over I am truly happy to continue writing little bits for these characters so if you have anything you want to see please let me know 🥹 I love you guys - Lou

Precious Part

Series Masterlist

The rest of the tour rolls by quicker than any of them expected. Matty and Lou spend every waking moment with each other and with their boys. The group laugh and drink and play the music they love and they're completely content. Their days are filled with the friends that were family now and their nights are filled with just them, their bodies and souls intertwined, their love being confessed and shown in every possible way they know how.

Each show seems better than the last and each of them are unsure whether it's because their love was always adapting and growing or whether it was because time was running out and they were hell bent on not letting it get taken for granted. They secretly thought it was a mix of both.

Lou and George would spend as much time together as they could, sometimes accompanied by Matty, usually wedged between them, sometimes resting across their laps (squashing them) or at their feet, the three of them laughing about things only they seemed to understand.

Lou and Ross would spend their time with Matty or sometimes with Mia when she was able to join them. Matty enjoyed watching the way they laughed together and felt privileged to hear them tell stories or spill secrets and confessions.

Adam and Carly would spend their time with the couple showing them ultrasounds or clothes they had bought for the little man. They'd talk about what they liked to call 'grown up things' and Matty would tell them the things he was going to teach the little man.

Then there were the times they were all together, one big happy family, a huge loving and supportive system that knew they would die for each other. Each time they’d laugh, each time they’d smile so wide their faces would hurt, each time they’d hug and talk and cry together, would make them realise how lucky they were to have each other.

Matty loved the moments before the shows, he'd spend hours watching her write in her notebook. He was in awe every time she sang and he knew he'd spend every day of his life proving his love for her.

Eventually the end of the tour rolled round and the last show was performed: a teary and emotional one, filled with one too many hugs and kisses. It was a show like no other and each of them was hesitant to leave the stage, knowing that would be the end : at least for now.

The party Jamie had thrown for them was huge, everyone and anyone they knew was invited, not that they spent much time with anyone else but each other. Matty and Lou disappeared to the toilets at one point when Charli and George had taken over the decks. Luckily no one could hear them over the loud music, but god did were they loud.

Adam and Carly's son was born three days later, the group crowding around the hospital room, taking turns in holding the little man. Carly asked to see Lou and Matty separately an hour or two after the birth. She simply placed the baby in Matty's arms, the baby boy wrapping his finger around Lou's pinky as her boyfriend held him, his barely opened eyes trained on her instead of the little man.

Carly felt emotional as she looked at them, smiling happily as her husband held her close to him. They had both come so far since the start and witnessing their journey was beautiful.

"I love you" Matty said, making her eyes snap away from the baby holding onto her finger. Something about the way he said it was different from all the other times, she couldn't quite pinpoint what it was exactly, but she felt it in every fibre of her being. She knew if the whole world changed tomorrow, she'd be certain Matty would be there, unchanged and forever loving her fiercely.

"I love you too" she says, tears filling her eyes. The rest of the group come back into the room now, suspiciously standing in a semicircle around them.

"I want this" he says, looking down at the child in his hands "I want all of this with you" he says, his own eyes filling with tears now. Adam moves to take his son, knowing what was coming, having spoken to Matty with his wife about this exact moment.

Lou gasps as Matty drops to one knee, his hand dipping into his pocket before pulling out a velvet box.

"I know we haven't had the easiest ride... I know I was an absolute Arsehole for most of it... And I can't promise I won't be that.. at least sometimes" he says making her chuckle through her teary eyes and choked throat.

"But I can promise that I have loved you, more than I have ever loved anything or anyone, for as long as I have known you and I can promise I will continue to do that until the day I die" he says, his voice breaking slightly, tears flooding his cheeks. Her knees buckle, taking her to him, holding his face in his cheeks.

"I have had this ring... Since Rome. I just knew, I knew even before you were mine that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you... I know this has happened quickly and it's been intense... But it's also been fucking incredible... The best thing that has ever happened to me and I know... I know in my soul that you are my person" he says, making tears fall even quicker from her face.

"You make me a better man. Lou...My love... I love you so much... Will you marry me?" He asks as he opens the velvet box in his hands, revealing a beautiful diamond ring.

"Yes Matty. Of course I will" she says, pressing her mouth to his before pulling back, allowing him to place the ring on her finger before their lips find each other again.

"I love you so much" she says against his mouth. The couple stand then and are swarmed with hugs from their friends.

George pulls her into a tight hug, lifting her from the ground and she notices he's been crying too.

"I'm so fucking happy for you... Marrying my best friend... The best man I know" George says as he pulls back from her, Lou nods at him.

"I'm so glad you were here for this g" she says, pulling him back into her embrace. George is then moving to Matty, the two guys crying into each other as Ross comes to hug Lou.

"You got the happy ending you deserve" Ross says, making her smile. The group comes together then, joining in a big group hug.

"sorry we took your moment away from you guys" Lou says, her words directed at Carly and Adam.

"It's alright... Matty asked us and we couldn't say no, it's you" Carly says, making her smile widely.

"Besides, Matty never lets me have my moment" Adam says jokingly, making everyone laugh.

She looks around her empty flat, one box left, her entire life up to this point tucked away in boxes, currently being loaded into a van by her best friends. She hears distant laughter, George’s cackle, Ross’ chesty machine gun laugh, Hann’s gentle chuckle and Matty’s childish giggle. Her eyes water as she looks around the space, feeling someone rest their chin on her shoulder as their arms wrap around her frame.

“You okay?” she hears Charli ask and she lets out a brief “mhmm”.

“A lot to take in, I know” Charli says, pulling away from her friend and allowing her to turn. Matty listens in from the doorway, leaning against the wall. “Having second thoughts?” Charli asks, trying to sense her friend's mood. Lou shakes her head and smiles.

“About Matty? Never” that makes him smile widely, his stomach filling with butterflies.

“It’s hard moving out of your home” Charli says and Lou turns to look around the room again. She shakes her head and smiles widely.

“This isn’t my home… not really” Charli is confused but then Lou is turning to her again and hugging her tightly. She pulls away after a beat.

“Matty is my home… you guys are my home. As long as I’ve got you and him… I'm good” Matty wants to rush in and hug her tightly and kiss her like it was the last chance he’d get but he doesn’t want to disturb her, or admit he was eavesdropping.

Charli nods, she gets it. She places a kiss to her cheek “I’ll leave you to it” she then leaves, passing Matty on the way out.

“You’re so lucky Matty… to have someone love you like she does” Charli says, wiping a tear from her cheek and pressing a kiss to Matty’s cheek.

“I know… believe me i know” he walks into her apartment, finding her and wrapping his arms around her.

“Ready to go?” he asks, looking down at her. His heart falters when she smiles up at him, leaning on her tiptoes to press a haste kiss to his lips.

“Ready to spend the rest of my life with you?” she asks, watching the way a huge smile breaks out across his lips “never been more ready”.

George stands at the centre table, to the right of Matty, he's holding a champagne flute in one hand and a microphone in the other, his eyes hold tears in the corners and he has a lump in his throat as he begins to speak.

"I have always known that Lou is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. She is an incredible friend, someone who will love you in the exact way you need, someone who will love you so hard that your broken parts start to heal. She is my best friend and for years I waited until she met someone who loved her the way she deserved..." George says, his voice cracking several times as she spoke, Lou stared at him, Matty squeezing her hand as tears ran down her cheeks.

"Never did I expect it to be Matty" George says, making everyone, including the married couple, laugh.

"Matty is also my best friend, my partner, my bandmate and my brother... I truly believe it when I say that he's the best guy I know" he says, making Matty cry a little.

"But he wasn't always that way with Lou... I won't go into that too much because the past is the past... Although I will still end you if you so much as hurt her" he says jokingly making everyone laugh again.

"Matty loves Lou exactly the way she deserves and Lou makes Matty better. They are perfect for each other and I am so unbelievably happy and proud to witness their love... Because it's fucking beautiful. Congratulations to my best friends... I would make a joke about the sex going down hill from here but... I've heard you in hotels and on the tour buses so I very much doubt that's going to happen" he says, everyone laughs as Lou blushes, hiding her face in her hands. Matty pries them away with a kiss to her cheek, making everyone awe.

Everyone cheers and then Matty and Lou hug George tightly.

"I love you" they both say to him.

Mia then stands to do her speech, looking around the room before she speaks "I'm really shit at these things so... Sorry in advance" everyone laughs again.

"Lou is the best sister I could ever ask for and I'm probably biased when I say this but she is far too good for this world and the people in it... Sorry Matty" he just nods along, agreeing.

"But from the moment I met you Matty, I knew you were her person. I had never seen her the way she is with you, you make her so happy and I will always thank you for that. I wish you both the absolute best, Lou, I love you and I am so proud to call you my sister... And we are so happy" she says, gesturing to their family "to be welcoming Matty in to our family, he is the best thing that has ever happened to you. And you him cheers" everyone cheers then and Matty and Lou share a sweet kiss.

Matty then stands, still holding onto Lou's hand. He shakes his head as he looks down at her, bringing his hand up to his mouth and kissing the back of it. He then looks at everyone else, raising his glass up to them.

"God... I just want to start by saying thank you" he says, gesturing to those who have made speeches.

"And thank you to all of you for coming... For sharing this beautiful day with us" he sighs then "okay this is the part where I get really fucking emotional and make a fool of myself and make my wife question the fact she's just married me" he says making everyone laugh. Lou whispers a never to him and he smiles.

"Fuck... 'My wife' that's mental. She's my wife" he points at her, she smiles widely at him. She watches as his eyes water and the way he briefly tucks his lips into his mouth, fighting back the tears.

"You look so beautiful. You always look so fucking beautiful but my god" he says, everyone smiling as she fawns over her.

"I am truly the luckiest man alive... I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet before I start weeping. Lou you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know I will thank whatever force allowed you to be mine, I will count my lucky stars everyday because you are mine. I don't know what the future holds... But I know as long as I have you, I'll be okay" he says making her smile, he leans down to kiss her gently before he continues.

"I love you so much" he says.

"I love you too"

It's then her time to stand.

"I'm not even going to try one up you on that" she says.

"I have written so many speeches, thrown them away and then rewritten them... I wrote about how we once hated each other but that story didn't quite do us justice... Because we are so much more than that... I then wrote all the things I love about you, but it was too long and I knew I'd get too emotional... And then I started wracking my brain on what I could say" she says looking down at him.

"I knew I wanted to tell you how much I love you but I could’t find the words to truly encapsulate what that's like. And I thought... Why say something... When you can sing it? Now I know you have begged me every single day since we got engaged to sing at this wedding and everyday I said no... And that's because I had something else planned" she says, looking around at the band and smiling at them.

"I guess you could say this is our last show… without you of course" she says and they all stand up, making Matty gasp as they make their way to the dancefloor that has been set up, microphones set up (ready for what Matty presumed would be the band they've hired). Ross stands go the left of her, Hann to the right, George behind her, Polly at the back next to George on the right and Jamie and John to the left.

"You and this band, are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you’re my family and my home and I love you all so much.. but this is for you. I love you so much Matty" she then sings a cover of All I Need To Hear with the band playing their instruments. It brings tears to his eyes and he shakes his head as she smiles at him.

"Just tell me you love me, that's all that I need to hear" she sings and he mouths an I love you to her.

They finish up the song and Lou begins speaking again.

"Okay... That was just a warm up" she says, making everyone laugh. The boys hug her and she thanks them before they leave. Jamie hands her an acoustic guitar, his guitar, one in which he had gifted to her at the end of the tour and Matty thinks he's going to sob, seeing her dressed in her beautiful white wedding dress, holding his guitar in her arms.

"I... I wrote this song, for you" she says, "I didn't release it because it's yours... only yours" She says and he knows what she's about to sing.

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched, as he tried to reassemble it. And my mumma swore, that she would, never let herself forget, and that was the day that I promised, I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist, but darling, you, are, the only exception' she sings.

She finishes the song, wiping the tears from her cheeks as she passes the guitar back to Jamie. Matty joins her then, gripping her tightly in his arms as he presses his lips to hers “I love you so much, my wife” he says against her mouth, the couple laugh as everyone around them cheer. Both of them throw up their middle fingers to the boys when they begin to make inappropriate comments. They all laugh and cry as they watch them.

They sit at the steps outside their venue. Their friends and family are dancing inside, drinking and laughing, celebrating their love.

Matty’s hand is resting on her thigh, over the fabric of her white dress. Her hand is playing with a few stray curls that had fallen in front of his face, whilst her other hand rests under her chin. Her hand only moves from his hair when he passes her his cigarette, watching her as she takes a few puffs before handing it back to him.

“You're so beautiful” he murmurs “my wife” a huge smile breaks out over her features, eyes crinkling and teeth baring. Her eyes flick from his eyes which have been brimming with happy tears the entire night, down to his lips which are spread wide too.

“I love you, my husband” they hear the door creak behind them, revealing their group of closest friends.

“Sorry we're not interrupting are we” Carly says kindly.

“You'd be able to hear them a mile off if we were interrupting’ comes from George, making everyone laugh. His arm is wrapped around Charli who looks up at him fondly as he speaks. They'll be next, she thinks.

“You know you guys are always welcome” Lou says, making the group walk down the steps to join them.

“But maybe call before you spontaneously pop round to ours” Matty says, wiggling his eyebrows at the group, receiving a quick light smack from Lou, which makes everyone laugh.

They fill out the steps pretty quickly. Charli and George perch on a ledge near them, Mia and Ross sit a few steps down, turning around to look at them, Lou smiles widely at their intertwined hands.

Carly and Hann are nuzzled together a step down to the right of them.

“Where's the little man?” Matty asks, making Hann look up.

“Your mum's looking after him” makes him smile.

John, Jamie, Gabi and Polly are scattered here and there. They sit in silence for a few moments, sharing a few cigarettes, all with huge smiles on their faces. They watch as the sky continues to get darker and as stars begin to appear.

Matty pulls her closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek before mumbling in her ear.

“I love you” she turns to kiss him, only pulling away when she hears Ross speak.

“What now?” He asks and everyone chuckles.

“What do you mean , what now?” George says, laughing loudly.

“I mean what happens now… Hann and Carly are married and have just had a kid… Lou and Matty are now married and will probably be popping out babies in no time” his words make Lou blush and Matty smear his lips to her cheek.

“You bet” he murmurs into her ear before he delivers his next line to the group “we'll be practising for a bit mate don't you worry about that” it causes another chorus of laughs to break out.

“You guys will probably be married next” Ross says pointing to Charli and George.

“And then we'll all be busy and be less inclined to see each other… what happens then?”

“Don't be daft mate… the bands not broken up. We're just having a little break. You know Matty can't go that long without making music anyway and who's he going to get to help him if it's not us?” George says, Ross shrugs at that, nodding his head slowly in agreement once he realises George is right.

“Besides… we're a family” Polly says, everyone looks around at each other then, smiling at one another.

“We're a family” Matty confirms, eyes trained on his wife who's looking back at him just as intently.

The group slowly begins to filter out, leaving the newlyweds alone on the steps.

“What now?” Lou repeats Ross’ words from earlier, feeling the sentiment behind them. Everything up to this point seemed so perfectly planned as if it was scripted. Their own little novel, a story of two people who hated each other, discovering that they in fact didn't hate each other at all. A story of two people, finally loving and being loved by the one person who they were supposed to be loved by.

Now everything was out in the open, Lou didn't know what would happen next and the thought was both exciting and terrifying.

“We go on our honeymoon, have a ton of sex” Lou laughs and nudges Matty's shoulder with her own “we eat amazing food and drink loads of alcohol and we love each other every day we're there” she smiles, Matty places a hand against her cheek and she leans into it.

“And we come home, and maybe the band will write some songs and eventually do another tour and maybe you'll do the same with your band, but we'll stick together through all of it, through thick and thin… we'll love”

“And then what?” She asks, he chuckles and places his lips against hers, they laugh as they kiss.

“And then we have the rest of our lives, we don't need to plan it, as long as we've got each other” she nods at that.

“Yeah, as long as we've got each other…”

“Here's to the rest of our lives baby” he says, smearing his lips against hers. He pulls back slightly and she watches as a smirk comes to rest against his lips.

“Now how about we get you home, so I can get you out of this dress?” She giggles at his words as she pulls him in for another kiss.

“Lead the way Mr Healy” Matty stands, reaching down to her. Lou intertwines their hands and allows him to pull her up to him. She collides with him, her lips merging with his again.

“Come home with me, Mrs Healy” he murmurs against her mouth, twisting his tongue against hers, making her sigh.

“I love you” she pulls back slightly, one hand sweeping the curls that had fallen loose from his hair back.

“Your insufferable arsehole” he says, smiling down at her.

“My insufferable arsehole”

“Always”

“For the rest of our lives”

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[ilyasorokinn]

thank the donkey , ross macdonald

note, okay, originally, there was going to be a big halloween series, but i couldn't think of anything that really spoke to me and i wasn't inspired, but i was inspired to write for ross. so, this is my contribution to the holiday. this is my new personality trait, get used to it. also, lmk if you like this little family because i do and would like to write more if you'd want to see it :) another note, i tried to find photos of the costumes but couldn't so please just use your imagination :) last note, dedicating this to vee (@abiiors)! i was inspired by your dad!ross, so in my world, ross is also a girl dad and names his daughters after flowers lol love ya <3 pair, ross macdonald x reader summary, poppy macdonald is upset her dad is working on halloween. her dad is even more upset he has to work. so, he does the best he can to make the night special for her. warnings, kids/children word count, 1240 words (a little short, i know. but i promise it's sweet!)

(gif not mine)

Halloween, no matter how old you were, was your favorite holiday. When you were growing up, most of the other kid's favorite holiday was Christmas, not you. Maybe it was that your parents went all out, or maybe it was that they let you eat all the candy you wanted, but it left a lasting mark on you.

So, when you had your first daughter, her second Halloween (the first you really celebrated with her), you went all out. You and Ross dressed up as poppies and Poppy was a gardener. She had no idea what was going on but she found it hilarious that her parents were wearing weird big flower things on their heads.

Now, Poppy was four, and her little sister, Willow, was 10 months old. Poppy had inherited your love for Halloween and by August had her Halloween costume planned. She wanted to match with you and Ross which made you a little sad, knowing that Ross would have to work on Halloween.

When you did tell her he was working, she was sad but her mood brightened a little when you told her she could still dress up for the show.

She was very adamant about being Donkey from Shrek, so you did your best to make that happen. The band loved the idea of Shrek, so they each decided to follow in your daughter's footsteps and dress up as a different character and assigned themself different characters.

Poppy was Donkey, Willow would be Puss in Boots, Gabbriette would be the Fiona to your Shrek, Matty would be Lord Farquaad while George, Adam, and Ross would be the Three Blind Mice. John would be the Dragon, Jamie would be Pinocchio, Polly would be the Big Bad Wolf and Gabrielle would be the Fairy Godmother.

Poppy was completely oblivious to everyone's costumes and was just excited to get to dress up and eat candy all night.

On the day, you walked around Detroit and got her some candy from a couple of stores that were handing it out before you headed over to the arena for soundcheck, one of Poppy's favorite parts of the concerts. She got to go on stage and dance around with her uncle and dad.

Before the show, after Ross helped you dress the girls, and after he'd left to get himself ready, Gabbriette came in and watched the girls briefly while you got ready, and took pictures of you and the girls before Willow started to cry. You soothed her then slipped headphones onto both her and Poppy. Poppy's headphones had a pair of donkey ears glued on and Willow's had a pair of cat ears.

You heard the intro to the opening song and held Poppy's hand as you walked to the side of the stage where you watched the show. Willow sat in the baby Bjorn comfortably and watched from the stage with wide eyes.

"Mommy." Poppy gasped when she saw the band dressed up as the characters from her favorite movie.

"I know." You gasped with the same enthusiasm as you bent down to her level, "Look at Uncle Matty." You giggled with her when she saw what he was wearing.

Ross looked over to the side of the stage and waved at Poppy, who giggled and waved back shyly. Poppy couldn't stop smiling as she looked at the band's costumes.

Somewhere in the middle of the set, Matty finally addressed the crowd and addressed their crazy costumes, "Now, I know we look a little crazy right because we're missing our main characters, but I'll have you know this idea was formed because of my little goddaughter. She loves Shrek, and I mean, who doesn't?" The crowd cheered at that.

"So, the littlest MacDonald is Donkey and her mom is Shrek. Strange, I don't know how we got there, but here we are." He shrugged, keeping everything about your daughter vague because he knew you and Ross didn't want people knowing too much about Poppy or Willow, "So, anyways, everyone thank Donkey for this genius idea." Matty and Ross looked over to the side of the stage where Poppy was beaming at the sound of the cheers.

The rest of the show went on as normal and right before Ross turned off the lights, Poppy ran onto the stage and over to her dad, which sent the crowd into a frenzy because Little MacDonald, Donkey herself, was on stage. The lights were strobing so there wasn't a clear image of her face which was why she was on the stage in the first place.

Ross picked her up and carried her over to the giant light switch that would turn off the lights on the stage. He waited a few seconds before he gave her a nod and she pulled the lever, shutting the lights off on the stage.

He carried her offstage and once she was in the safety wings, she was off and running to greet her uncles and godfather. Ross removed Willow from the Bjorn, surprised that she was still awake because it was way past her bedtime.

Now baby-free, you gladly accepted the drink Gabbriette was handing you, "She's gonna be up a while, isn't she?" Ross asked.

"I'm hoping for a sugar crash," You smiled, watching George pick up Poppy and run around with her like an airplane, "You did amazing tonight, by the way." You nudged him.

"Yeah, I had a donkey and an ogre to impress." He teased.

"I'm gonna save the smack in the head for later because you're holding my baby." You narrowed your eyes at him.

"I love you, too." He wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you followed everyone else into whichever room would be used as the afterparty room.

You rolled your eyes, "I love you, too, even if you're mean to me sometimes." In response, he placed a kiss on your head.

When you made it to the room, Matty was standing outside with Poppy, who was pouting, "Why can't I go in?" She whined.

"It'll ruin the surprise, Pop." He explained, tapping her on the head, "You like surprises, don't you?" She nodded her head enthusiastically, "Then just wait a second." Poppy turned to you and frowned.

"Listen to your uncle, flower," Ross told her. She frowned and crossed her arms, "Just wait a second." He laughed.

A few seconds later, Matty opened the door and nodded over to Poppy, "Cmere." She skipped over to him, gasping when she saw what was in the room.

The best part of Halloween, in any kid's eyes, was trick-or-treating, and everyone knew that Poppy was a little upset she was missing it, so in the biggest room in the arena, everyone spread out with little bags of candy, creating a makeshift version trick-or-treating.

"Here's your bag." Matty handed her a big bag before tapping her on the head once more. She didn't need to be told twice before she was running into the room from person to person, gathering candy.

You looked over at Ross, who was smiling with pride, "You planned this, didn't you?"

"Halloween's her favorite." He shrugged, before producing your favorite candy bar from his pocket, "Like her mother's." He kissed your head again, smiling as Poppy giggled.

"You're amazing, Ross MacDonald, you know that?" You smiled up at him.

"Says you." He nudged you, smiling equally as big and squeezing your shoulder.

-

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[justanamesstuff]

Chapter 8

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader A/N: two more chapters and we're done with this story...craaazy! as i've said i'm not too sure about this chapter but i hope you like it guys. Keep in mind that this story originally writed it during 2020/2021..I've made A LOT of changes but the core of the story is one. Anyway, let me knowww <3 Warnings: ANGSTTTT, mention of disease, typos. Word count: 4 K

MASTERLIST TAGLIST

< Chapter 7

Matty firstly felt the coldness of the morning before opening his eyes. Weather was all over the place, like his mind. Summer was around the corner, but the skies around England stayed grey and the wind cold. 

He moved, side to side, in the bed, groaning, because his head was pounding so hard. Why he drank so much the night before? A flash of images flew in front of his eyes.

He sat on his bed quickly, desperately. Matty felt dizzy, so he had to close his eyes again. The singer cringed at the memories. 

As fast as he sat up, Matty moved around looking for his phone. It wasn’t there to be found. The sheets engulfed him like a snake, making him end up on the floor with a big noise. That didn’t help his other achings.

Matty continued searching.

His phone was under the bed after all. Why the fucking device always ended up there? 

He unlocked it and his first impulse was to call Y/n. Matty anxiously waited, hoping she answered. She didn’t. The frontman looked at the time, it was almost lunchtime. How much did he sleep?

He dialled again.

The call ended up quicker than before. He tried again with the same result. Matty continued trying and trying, none stop. She was obviously avoiding him, he understood. Matty finally declined.

He just sat on the floor, staring at his phone on his right hand. He was sure she hated him by that point. 

It wasn’t like he thought he didn’t deserve her treatment, but Matty couldn’t think about it. He couldn’t picture Y/n not wanting to talk to him any more. Again, he deserved it, although it hurt his heart too much. Y/n was the love of his life, but first, it was his best friend, and he hurt her pretty much. Again.

Why did he keep hurting her when he promised not to? Why no matter how much he tried to be good he still managed to do wrong to her? He fucking deserved the treatment. 

Matty fidgeted with the phone in his hand. Should he call her again? She wasn’t going to answer. He didn’t seem it possible. 

What happened last night? Everyone was beyond angry or pissed with him. Matty was sure of that. He was angry at himself. He drove past the line by way too far. 

For what he could remember –which wasn’t that much–, Ross was disappointed, George ignored his bullshit completely –just for now–, Adam was furious and Y/n was another world to be explored. Her face would linger in his mind forever. The surprise, the pain, her sadness.

 He couldn’t help himself to think what Tom thought about it. What happened with Y/n and Tom after they left? They would probably be at Y/n’s flat, talking about her foolish best friend...or ex-best friend? 

Y/n was going to forgive him? He needed to know. He needed to talk to her. Pushed by the thought, he dialled again. The voice mail answered this time, and a couple of minutes later George opened Matty’s room door.

“Stop.” G said with a look that expressed more than his words, Matty analysed his friend’s face.

“What?” he placed his phone to his ear again. Fucking voice mail.

“That.” the drummer pointed to his phone and Matty understood right away.

“I need to talk to her.”

G didn’t hesitate saying, “She doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”

“I can picture why. But- I need to talk to her!” Matty whined.

“And tell her exactly what?” George said getting angry at Matty. The frontman looked at his friend without saying anything for a solid minute.

“That I’m sorry.” he looked down, embarrassed. George scoffed at his answer.

“You have to say way more than sorry to her...if you want her to forgive you,” he stated.

“I know. But- I need to talk to her.” Matty repeated like a broken record. 

“No.”

“You are not her.”

“But...she just texted and told me.”

A warmth woke up Matty’s body. “What?” he exclaimed. G said nothing. “Why is she telling you stuff? Why can’t she speak-?”

G interrupted his next words, “Because I don’t fuck her life all the time.”

“I don’t-”

“You know you do.” George exclaimed.

“Fuck you, George!” Matty shouted, standing from the floor. 

As fast as he managed to stand in both of his feet, he reached for new clothes so he could change after a quick shower. He had slept on his last nightclothes, he stank badly.

“What are you even doing?” the drummer asked, fearing his mate decided to storm off and run towards Y/n’s flat.

“I’m going to shower.”

“Why?” G inquired.

“Because I stink!”

“Don’t you even think about it.” G warned him, while Matty left his room going to the bathroom.

“Think about what?” the singer turned around.

G knew him better than believe his acting.“You know exactly what. She doesn’t want to see you at all.”

“I’m-”

“You’re not going to do anything, Matty.”

“I need to see her, to explain, to talk...I can’t-” he said desperately.

“You have to give her time.”

“You’re not her father!”

“I’m not. I’m her and your best friend. I don’t think it is a good idea for either of you to talk right now.”

Matty felt his eyes tingling with tears. “I don’t want to lose her.” Matty sadly admitted.

“I know, I kind of understand you. But- Hear me, please.” G dared to move closer, placing his hands on Matty’s shoulders. “You fucked it up pretty big last night. She is really hurt, and she didn’t even want me there.” George let him know a little bit more, just trying to make his best friend understand the situation.

“She doesn't want you? Fuck!” 

“Yeah, so...please stop calling her and don’t go. Wait for her to come around, okay?” Matty nodded, swallowing thick.

“Am I going to lose her?”

“I don’t know, Matty. You have to think about the risks of what you did last night before actually doing anything.” 

Matty only managed to detached his body from under G’s hands, entering the bathroom. 

He had to wait for her times. 

Once and for all he had to stop being the selfish dick he was. Y/n was the love of his life, his entire life almost since the moment he saw her stood for herself. She was worth the wait no matter if he died waiting. 

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The morning after the gathering at the boy’s house, Y/n woke up in the middle of her living room. Her back hurting like a b*tch, her neck very sore. She could feel the mascara that adorned her cheeks and the mess on her hair.

Although, nothing of her exterior could match what she was feeling.

Her entire body was cold due to the low temperatures, but not even sleeping without covers made her so stone cold as the pain in her heart.

She tried standing up slowly, her bones cracking at every move. Y/n reached for her phone on the coffee table. It was 10 am. Y/n didn’t believe she slept a single second because the weight in her eyes and the achings around her body were a sing of a tiredness she didn’t linked to a good night sleep.

Y/n unlocked the little device, no messages far from George and Adam asking how she was and some from the group chat before she and Tom arrived at the boy’s house. 

Tom

She already missed him. She opened their chat, readint the last messages about him apicking her up and loving words. Her heart sank on her chest. Y/n wanted him there to hold her and make the sadness go away. 

Y/n tried to call him one time, he didn’t answer. He probably was still asleep or avoiding her. Y/n didn’t want to be one of those people, but she looked at his last connection, he turned them off. 

Y/n moved around searching for a comfy place on her couch, chossing at the end the place she remember Tom sat on the night before. She curled in a little ball and started crying again. She needed his warmth around her, his contagious happiness. 

Tom was so right about her. She avoided her feelings for so long so when she had to face them, she had to face them all at once. That was painful so she preferred seeking the comfort of Tom in that case, who in reality was in excuse to not feel, to not go though her pain. He was so right about her..

She unlocked her phone again. She replied to George’s text with an emoji without expression and seconds after he was calling her.

“Hi.” she answered with a low voice.

“Hi, darlin’.” he said sweetly. 

“How are you?” she coughed trying to clear her voice.

“Fine, you?”

Her eyes watered again saying, “I don’t know.”

Y/n listened how G took in a sharp breathe. “Are you with Tom?” 

“No, he dropped me off last night and then he left…after we fought.” she told him.

“What happened?”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Did you guys bro-?”

“I don’t know. I mean, not officially but kind of.” Y/n started to cry a little.

“Oh, darling.” 

“It’s- I don’t know. I don’t know what to do or feel, G.” she whipped some tears from her face.

“Do you want me to go there?”

“No,no.” Y/n pushed her body up as if she could stop him even though he was kilometres away. “I- Don’t take it the wrong way but...I don’t want to see anybody right now.”

“It’s totally fine, love. Although, if you need anything let me know okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Do you wanna talk about last night?”

“Which part?” Y/n scoffed. “It feels like it wasn’t just one night, y’know?”

“Yeah, I can imagine.”

“I told Tom I used to have feelings for Matty.” she muttered out.

“Why?”

“I’m not sure. He asked about Matty and I- And I just told him.”

“What did he said?”

“Not so much, firstly he got angry...and then he was like done with the situation. He said he loved me, but then he left me.” Y/n chocked on a cry.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go there? I can promise you to make myself almost invisible. You know I can do that.” George offered again.

“I really appreciate it, but no thanks, G. I need to sleep and be alone for a little.”

“Okay. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Good. Well, take care! I love you and I’m here if you need me.”

“I know…I love you so much.”

“You should date me, I’m less dramatical.” Gmade her laugh a little.

“Oh god, I don’t believe that…not even for a second!”

“Rude!”

“Bye, George.”

“Bye, Y/n/n.”

Y/n left her phone on the coffee table. She could feel the tiredness coming back. As she told George she needed to sleep and be alone. Y/n needed to wallow in her sadness for a little.

She believed she managed to sleep for an hour before her phone went off. Thinking the person calling was George she reached for it quickly, but she got disappointed pretty fast when the person’s ID was ‘Matty’. Y/n just looked at the screen, wondering if she wanted to answer or not. She was sure she didn’t want to talk to him.

He hung up, but then Y/n saw how he called her again and again. Every time she just declined the call. At the 10th call, she texted George asking him to make Matty stop.

Some part of her, deep deep down, wanted to answer and scream at him. Y/n wanted to shout and also asked him so many questions. Why he did it? Why he fucked her life so easily? 

Another big question was about what in fact he asked her last night. What does that question meant? Y/n really tried to think about it, but not even one idea that came to her mind made sense. Because as a friend, as her best friend, it was everything so childish. Also, the tint of his voice sounded so deeply wounded. No matter how much he had hurt her, she still worried about his feelings. Y/n felt stupid.

Y/n couldn’t even start to think that he had some feeling beyond friends. Like, two months ago he was deeply in love with another girl, and he never ever gave Y/n a single reason to think that he liked her excluding the first states of their relationship and little moments here and there. Was she so deeply into her own feelings and making herself believe that he didn’t want her when in fact was the opposite? ‘No,no, it was impossible. Was it?’  

With the events from the night before and the unknown state of her relationship with George, she didn’t want to go down that road. Because going there meant that all of what happened was about two stupid and so self-centred people, hurting others because they tried to maintain something that bloomed to be so much more, but they got scared, and they avoided it. Matty and her avoid talking because they feared losing each other when in fact they were doing exactly that.

Trying to distracted her mind, Y/n found herself reaching for the little device for the hundred time. She wondered about calling Tom. He said he was going to reach later or something like that. Maybe, she had to give him time. She knew that the relationship was over, the solo thought of that made her cry again. Why she loved the wrong man? Was he the wrong man? Weren’t they, Matty and Y/n, so perfectly bad for each other?

Three years with so many mixed feelings. Everything bad thing that happened, every fight, the people they hurt…everything because they couldn’t be enoughly grownups and face the fucking point. All with the stupid excuse that they didn’t because they wanted to maintain a friendship. 

They were toxic and they were stupid. Y/n knew that they had to talk but at the moment she wasn’t ready to even looked at his face. She wasn’t ready to the real talk they were going to have this time. Y/N knew that was going to happen soon but for the time being she needed her time alone.

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Two weeks later…

The weeks after the dinner were odd, strange, rare, uncomfortable to the top. The boys didn’t say much to Matty, that was even worse for him than them shouting how stupid he was. Meaning they were more than disappointed with him. 

George, Ross, and Adam treated Matty the necessary not more, not less. Even though he knew Adam was the angriest and he wanted to punch Matty, scream how stupid he was and more. The guitarist told him not to do it, but Matty never listened. The frontman acted like a child you tell not to eat grass and you’re 100% sure they are going to do exactly that. He somehow knew the consequences of his actions, he knew what he could do to hurt Y/n, to piss the boys, he knew and even though he continued with it. Adam was right to be angry.

The problem Adam had is all the promotion he had to do with Matty for the next album. Jamie and the label thought that it was a good idea to control Matty during interviews. Adam wanted bad to decline but everything was arranged and he wasn’t going to disappoint their management, the band, and everything he stood for just because Matty was a complete idiot. He would maintain the distances and just let Matty talk as it was planned. Simple. Or that was he thought.

Matty, on the other hand, was beyond anxious. Having to do interviews and speak about the record and the process when everything going on at the minute and the fact that he didn’t know anything about Y/n was driving him insane. 

He wanted to ask about her many times, but he was sure no one was going to tell him a single word. Matty couldn’t say there were sides, even though it felt like they were taking Y/n’s side in a way. He didn’t blame them, Matty would probably do the same. 

……………………………………..

Adam tried to do his job the best he could but at the same time, every interview felt like a never ending conversation. Sitting beside Matty, hearing him talk so normally and carefree boiled Adam’s blood. He loved his friend to pieces this time was something else. The guitarist acknowledged it wasn’t exactly his problem -in fact, it wasn’t, just Matty and Y/n’s- but he involved himself in some way. 

Adam’s prayer came quicker than he expected. One morning during a quiet time, a call interrupted his entire life. 

His girlfriend’s mother was in a bad medical condition and she was not only asking for him to be there, she was even demanding it. Adam being the good and generous man he was accepted at the same time he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs since he had to find a replacement. Ross and George were at the other side of the sea working on side projects. The idea of finding a personal assistant crossed his mind but with such short notice he didn’t had time to find one. He had to speak with Jaime and face the situation.

When the call ended, a repeated question filled his mind ‘what should I do?’ 

He pulled from his short hair thinking. Maybe, he could call George and beg him or Ross. No, he knew they were really busy and compromised with the work they had been doing. 

Suddenly another name was pushed into his front lobe. 

No, he couldn’t do that to her. Even though he was in a hurry, as soon as he could find someone he would be travelling to his hometown, to his girlfriend who needed him. He must found someone trustful and that one was Y/n. She knew how to manage Matty like no one else.

Maybe, he could just call Y/n and asked her. Tell her what he was avoiding Matty as much as possible while still doing his job. He felt selfish, although the situation was demanding him a quick solution. He didn’t lose anything to just try.

After staring at his phone for three solid minutes, he dialled Y/n’s number. He hoped she answered it. He prayed she answered but after a couple of seconds, the line died. Fuck.

Adam tried again and again, but every time she declined. Probably she thought that Matty was calling or something like that. He texted her instead.

‘Y/n, I’m Adam. I really need to talk to you. It’s kind of urgent.’

Five minutes later, Adam’s phone was ringing.

“Hi.” he said, breathless like if he just ran a marathon.

“Hi, what happened? Are you okay? Is he okay?” she asked fast and worried.

“Yeah, yeah. We’re okay, nothing happened.”

“Fuck, Adam! You scared the shit out of me!” Y/n exclaimed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, what was all the urge about?” 

“Okay, first, please know that if I had someone else to ask this to,  I would…please believe me.“ he explained.

“You’re scaring me again, Hann.” 

“Sorry, I just don’t know how to say, to ask this…and I know you’re going to hate me but please, I need this favour.”

“Please, said something clear to me because I’m so fucking lost.” 

“Here’s the thing. Carli’s mother is in a bad state and I have to be there, Y/n.“

"I'm so sorry to hear that Hann...but what does that have to do with me?

Hann took a big breath before just asking, “I need you to replace me as some type of personal assistant to keep Matty under control during interviews.” Y/n remained silent, making Adam panic. “Please, believe me…I tried to think about another good substitute but no one is better than you or knows him better.”

“Your compliments won’t work, Adam.” Y/n voice was sharp as a knife.

“I’m not trying to. I’m being honest with you.” she sighed.

“You know I can’t. Not right now.”

“I know you can. Hear me out.” He said when she protested. “I’m 100% sure that you’re not fine and with everything that happened you have absolutely the right to say no. Although, I’m 200% sure that you’re the most qualified person to deal with his stupid ass, and you’re such a professional, Y/n. I’ve been doing this interviews with him for two weeks and I almost didn’t talk to him. You can do it, and I know I’m being selfish…Carli needs me.” Adam’s state ended with a sob falling from his mouth.

“It’s too soon, Hann.”

“Yes, but…”

“How is he?” she inquired suddenly.

“I’m not so sure, I didn’t talk too much because he- “he started to say.

“He’s your best friend” Y/n stated.

“How could you defended him, after- Sorry, not my place. I- He’s bad, he’s moody and trying to focus on work, but it’s difficult. I know he wants to ask about you, but he’s retaining himself as much as he can.” 

“When am I supposed to be there if I accept?” Y/n asked defeated.

“Next interview is in three days. BBC radio 1.”

“For how long?”

“Probably until the end of the month.”

“Shit.”

“I’m so deeply sorry, Y/n!”

“Stop, I understand. I’m just doing this for you and Carli, okay?

“Yes, yes. I’m deeply thankful with you! I own you a big one.”

“So, I don’t have to be too much time with him?”

“No, if you don’t want to. You know the job, and I suppose Jaime, the management team, are going to tell you more details. I’m going to call him right away after we hung up, okay?”

“Fuck, I don’t know what I’m doing but…okay.”

Hann felt guilt filling his chest, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I know that I can walk away any moment I want.”

“Yes, that would cause a big mess but yeah.”

“And I’ll talk to him and clear this just a bit. I’m not ready to actually talk about what happened but just letting him know that I need to do my job and this time he can’t mess with me.”

“Yeah, I totally agree.”

“Fine. Then, arrange all this and let me know, ya’?”

“Yes. Thank you so much, Y/n!”

“Don’t worry. Please hug Carli for me and I’m here if you need anything else.”

“I will, I promised. I’ll return it somehow.”

“Don’t mention it, Hann.”

“So…how are you?” Adam asked.

“I don’t know really. These weeks have been…a lot.”

“I can only imagine.”

“Tom and I broke up.”

“Shit Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“Yes..”

“Do you want me to punch Matty for ya’ before I go?” he offered.

“No, for now, let him be.”

“That’s a big risk.”

“Yeah,” she said sadly. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, worried but fine.”

“I get it.”

“Well, I gotta go now. I’ll send you the details, and again thank you so much!”

“Shut up, Hann. Go and support your family.” 

“Bye, Y/n.” Adam said, and she just hung up.

Adam ended the call with his soul aching a little. He didn’t know if he was making the right move, or he was making everything worst. He would have to wait and pray.

Y/n on the other hand was unbothered. Which was rare due to all she had to face. Getting the job was a big opportunity for her, but being close to Matty after everything was too much.

During those weeks she felt kind of death inside, at the same time she waited. For what? She wasn’t sure.

Nothing was sure and for the time being, she would focus on her work. On being the professional that Hann described, and she knew she was. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @sinarainbows @eaglestar31 @sugarkane1001 @brittluvs1975

Chapter 9 >

[abiiors]

self indulgent because i was sad last night and doing the math on time change it was about 9 hours between where i am and where matty is (lol do i have a problem?) currently being attacked before 10 am with his ripped shirt

but maybe reader had a tough day at work and was not as good with communication as they normally would be with their long distance agreements, and just tries to keep it together when matty can finally get a hold of her and ask what’s up and he’s so sweet telling her she can always complain to him about her crappy days he wants to be the one she can lean on when she needs the extra care

aww babe, i’m so sorry. i hope you’re feeling better now tho <3

just something small and fluffy!

you have not left the bed for a few hours now. 

in fact, you haven’t left the bed at all since coming back from work and throwing yourself onto it; work clothes and all. normally, the thought of being in bed with outside clothes would have made you cringe. today, however, exhaustion dictates everything. 

your phone, plugged into its charger, buzzes on the nightstand for the tenth time. you already know it’s matty, sending a reel or a funny tweet or even just a random message about something silly but the thought of extending your arm to pick up the phone is too much. everything is too much. 

and so, matty and his messages remain unseen. 

you close your eyes again, thinking of all the work piling up in your inbox at this moment. no matter how much you do, it seems unending—something new always getting thrown at you when you’re least expecting it. 

your phone buzzes again. and this time it keeps buzzing. it’s a phone call. 

groaning, you inch your body close to the nightstand like a pathetic worm and tilt the phone to look at the caller id. of course, it’s matty. and of course you can’t ignore him again. it would be cruel to make him worry about you when he’s all the way in america; on another continent, in a time zone hours behind you. 

“hi baby,” you answer with as much cheer as you can muster. it’s a facetime call and there’s no other option but to plaster a saccharine-sweet smile on your face. 

“hi my darling,” he smiles before launching into his story. “so you know how i’ve been making a set list for the next show? well, ross and i thought it’d be hilarious if—what’s wrong?”

it’s like his entire mood shifts between one word and the next, the cheeky smile fading away into a frown and you feel yourself grimace. 

“what?” you sit up, propped up against the pillows and acting like you have no idea what he’s talking about. “what do you mean, what’s wrong.”

matty’s lips press into a straight line. he’s not impressed, and he’s not happy with you either. because his eyes are trained on your soft grey blouse which is certainly not something you wear at home or to bed. 

“you’re playing dumb, love,” he scolds lightly, “what’s wrong?”

“i don’t wanna start, matty. i’ll get over it, i promise.” you feel your lip wobbling halfway through that reassurance. still, a deep, shaky breath composes you a little. “i want to hear about the set list. come on.”

but matty’s having none of it. “you can hear about it when you tell me what’s wrong.”

letting out a loud sigh you wonder if it’s worth getting into. this is going to lead to more frustration and crying and he’s not even here to hug you till every other worry disappears. no, he’s not here to dote on you and let you whine like a baby about every minor (and major) inconvenience. 

internally, you curse america and his stupid band and the stupid shows and probably everything else you can think of in the ten second span before matty speaks again. 

“talk to me, darling,” he urges gently, “you’ve not talked to me all day.”

it’s true. you have been rather shit at communicating today. sighing, you give in. 

“it’s work,” a dry laugh, “it’s always work.”

matty’s eyes soften in sympathy. he knows it’s been a bit hard lately. for him too, being on the road is never easy but he knows it’s worse for you. that being away for too long makes your separation anxiety start acting up. 

“tell me more.”

“i don’t wanna complain to you all the time, babe. it’s always the same thing. it gets too much, i get overwhelmed and come crying to you. the same cycle.”

if he were here right now, he would already be letting you cry into his chest, kissing it all better. but since he is not, you have to resort to smushing your face into his pillow and groaning in frustration. 

“okay you listen to me,” his voice is stern but his eyes remain soft and loving. “you never. ever. have to worry about complaining to me. ever. now tell me more about what’s bothering you at work.”

you swallow past the lump in your throat and sniffle lightly. “it’s just all so much, matty. the thought of logging into my emails tomorrow makes me want to cry. there are so many that i haven’t even opened yet.”

he stays quiet for a second, a pensive expression on his face before he breaks out into another smile. 

“alright, time to bring out the big guns.” he walks around his hotel room in search of something—his laptop, it becomes clear a moment later—before plopping down onto his bed. 

“tell me your login details.”

“what?” there’s confusion written all over your face. 

“i’m not doing anything stupid, love. just give me your login details.”

“not that i don’t trust you,” you reply cautiously, “but what are you doing?”

“offering you my precious personal assistant services,” he beams. “they are in high demand, mind you. now come on. login details. i’m just going to sort your emails for you.”

his words unleash the floodgates. through grateful sobs and quiet sniffles, you rattle off the email id and password—it’s his name and your anniversary date which makes him giggle and reveal that his password is almost identical. your name and birthday. 

once you’ve calmed down a bit and wiped your nose on your shirt sleeve like a child, you take a proper look at him—slightly tired, but happy and smiling. and handsome as ever. 

“thank you,” you whisper, “i mean it, babe. this helps so much.”

“anything for you,” he smiles and then narrows his eyes. “next time,” his finger is right in front of you, occupying the better part of the screen, “if you shut down on me again… i was almost worried, you know?”

“i’m sorry,” you pout, knowing it’s his weakness. he has no chance of keeping his resolve in front of the pout. he breaks; shaking his head while trying to contain his smile.

“now," you return his small smile, "tell me about this set list…”

[divinerivals]

QUESTION...?

Song analysis

Kinda wild that this is the first thing I'm talking in length about since it's not my usual and I don't talk song analysis I typically write fanfic and make edits when creative but this won't leave my head so here we are.

Things to note before we jump in:

In Taylor's speech last night when she said she was the happiest she's been in all aspects of her life, she referred to this song as it being a happy memory. Being the lyrics it didn't click unless it refers to someone close to her now. The person who fits this is Matty.

Question...? Is in the pre-show playlist for The 1975. An odd choice if you ask me being unless you listen to Midnights you know it. From my knowledge Preshow playlists usually contain top charting hits, released singles etc. To me, this feels like Matty kinda showing off that she wrote a song about him. Sorry if there's any typos I did this before coffee and I didn't have my glasses on lmao. If you don't like Matty that's fine, then this post isn't for you and you can keep on scrolling.

I cut off the intro on accident, it says "I remember". That could be just setting up the song stating this deals with the past. Or it's a response to the line in 'About you' by The 1975 where Matty sings, "Do you think I have forgotten. She says no I haven't, I remember.

The first line in the verse is giving two characters: Taylor, the good girl. Matty, the sad boy. Taylor went to two shows in 2014 for The 1975. One in LA and one in NY. I'm going with NY for this setting. The one thing going on was that they hooked up. Possibly seeing each other albeit extremely briefly.

Regardless of what it was it impacted her life greatly. He painted her nights a color she's been looking for ever since. Ever since Matty left her she's been trying to chase that feeling. Kinda ties into her speech last night too because she finally found it. After she had to deal with one thing after another. Other relationships, media, pandemic. Basically all the hurdles in her life that brought them back together. (It could also be in reference to their past situationship and what caused the fallout. )

Taylor wants to talk. She has questions about the past and wants to clear the air.

I think this took place when they were all hanging out and everyone was just shocked when it happened. They kissed around friends and were teased about it. But the friends in question gave an approval by clapping. These were super close friends who wouldn't tell any media outlets so I'm thinking like Selena, George, Ross, Adam. Etc. People who won't talk but I could see teasing tf out of them but being supportive. I don't remember which show Karlie was at which is why I didn't say her. Anyway, she's now asking him and what he did as in do you remember? Cause I do. And then she continues with her questions.

Now, Matty was using alot of drugs around here so it's possible he remembered but not everything. Or it's possible he did and wants to forget that he left in middle of night. Because as soon she asks that he goes oh. The oh is him being like ah fuck. So then Taylor shoots back three consecutive questions. Whatever happened in the past I think was her call for whatever reason maybe he didn't want to public or be in a relationship. And because she knows herself, the feelings are getting too much, she's getting this strong connection and feelings she has to end it. And Does it bother him he didn't fight for it? Does it bother him the way it does her? Does he miss her? He seems taken aback and she's saying well its just a question. A hypothetical one. He's doubting that.

This is about the Brit awards and Calvin. Stay with me. Half-moon eyes elude to someone on drugs, i.e., Matty. Peep the last line line the image "but you were on somethin". indiciating the half-moon eyes are not from weed but something harder. The bad surprise is Calvin. And this is the moment Matty knew he fucked up because he had still feelings. He was jealous cause the brit awards was when Taylor and Calvin met and as we all know. The dude is a dickhead lol.

Lots of drinking, no one should be surprised by with Matty. Idk about the politics and gender roles. It's clearly about Matty. Since hes more of an activist than Taylor and has songs about politics, has worn skirts, make up, kisses guy. It's also kinda about Taylor. Idk love to heard thoughts. I know it my bones it connects. Could also be in connection with the fact that a couple months after the awards Matty says dating Taylor would be emasculating. I think he said it out of anger. Anger at himself for not being with her, jealous of Calvin, and pissed shes dating the said dickhead. Anyway back to the awards time, they are fighting. Matty is unhappy with her talking to Calvin. And she probably asks him again what he wants. He doesn't know but he sure as hell doesn't want her with that guy.

The second best after that meteor strike is going back to the first verse. About the color she's searched for. I said it deeply impacted her. This indicates it did for the both of them. After the impact of her, Taylor. Has anyone even come close to the intense feelings they shared in a short time? The her in question I feel like it depends on when this song was written. However if we take the scene that is set for us and the time frame given, it's probably Halsey. Otherwise if it was written in 2021/2022 then it could be FKA Twigs. Whichever her, there's no hate there. She's happy for him. Truly. Either one suits him better, however she can't help but wonder...

Then the chorus repeats. Back to her speech, the reason she is saying this is a happy memory for her. Is because now it is. Her thoughts are filled with what could have happened? That color she's been searching for, the missing piece, it's found again. It's come back to her. Now she can look back, laugh, and think of it as happy. This is why everything in her life finally feels like it makes sense.

feel free to add on if you like. This is just my initial thoughts breaking down Question..? after last night

Tagging: @musicjunkie29 @deeenerys17 @hauntedromantics @littleeyelidsflutter (Ya'll seemed excited by the Musicjunkie's post so I thought of you all)

[scrapyardboyfriends]

I'm not even sure why they brought Aaron back tbh

They said they wanted a villian, but that lasted all of 5 seconds, don't know if they planned beyond that.

I like him, but if you've got no plans for him, he may as well still be in France/Italy (wasn't marco italian?)

It does feel like they wanted to bring Aaron back and then get Ryan, it really all felt like it should be leading to that but they couldn't actually get Ryan back in the end.

With regards to bringing Aaron back. Without Robert or without something to pull Aaron back from his angry state, that story really did fall flat and then they just decided enough was enough and fixed it with the Chas having cancer story, which felt super lazy.

And then without having Robert back to follow up, it really feels like they didn't have any other plan for Aaron, which is why they're doing this now I guess.

Once again, if they actually cared about their characters, cared about Aaron as a fictional person, there are things to do with him without having Robert there, even if it would be easier. They still haven't bothered to really flesh out Aaron's life in the village again from what I've seen.

If I were in charge, I would actually give him friends again. I'd let him and Vic be legitimate friends again. I might have him and Billy finally properly bury the hatchet and be friends since Danny and Jai are friends in real life anyway. That way you could give Aaron screen time outside of Chas and Vinny. Let him support Billy through this Evan story for example.

I mean if we're talking supporting character, Aaron being involved in Matty's prison story would also make sense considering he's also dealt with being a queer man in prison, albeit a bit differently. Plus that's his best mate's little brother.

Then once his friends situation is sorted out, I would have him buy into the garage and return to actually using it for plot purposes. Get Aaron back in the overalls, let him interact with other villagers that way. Let him work on his relationship with Cain etc.

And then I would deal with the kids scenario. That's the one easy happy story you could do for Aaron. Now, they're not going to be able to realistically do the surrogacy story now that they gave him the faulty gene thing. So the easiest story to do would still be Seb. There's no reason they can't bring Seb back to the village, let him stay with Vic until Aaron reconnects with him and then let Aaron become his legal guardian after permission from off screen Robert in prison and Rebecca who doesn't even have to die. All they have to do is have her break up with Ross off screen and have her get overwhelmed on her own and need help. Seb can still have a relationship with her off screen. And Seb allows them to deal with the Robert of it all without having to have Robert there and always keeps that tie.

And then once he's got friends, a more on screen job and a kid, then you can try a romantic relationship, but I'd make it a friends to lovers slow burn thing so it's really as far away from the Robert of it all as possible. You know...not a Robert clone. Haha.

It's just...it's not that hard to make him a functional character if they actually cared at all. It's just that they...don't, which is sad.

[not-alien-girl-v]

i will take any george daniel content u will give me

She Looks So Perfect (George Daniel)

warning: nothing

note: i am a woman on a dark path!! xx

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

you’re nearing 7 drinks in now. however, you’re not a big drinker, so 7 drinks for you isn’t the same as 7 drinks to someone else, namely, george.

you’re lucky that the party is at his house, otherwise you would be in a much more compromising position, but at the moment, you’re sat comfortably on his living room couch, listening to matty babble on about bukowski and poetry, typical matty stuff, and a group of helplessly impressionable young girls surround him like a crowd, hooked on his every word.

it’s almost sad, somewhat funny, watching the show he puts on, he’s such a performer, even in his free time.

he’s also such a people person, watching him be so at ease surrounded by a hoard of people observing his every move, which brings your thoughts back to george.

a while ago now, he got pulled away by some distant friends who showed up at his party and they’ve been talking on the back porch ever since then. you can’t hear the conversation but you’ve been reading into the body language from the inside of the closed sliding glass door.

there’s friend number 1, a short yet muscular guy with tan skin and black hair, who seems to be the resident talker, every time another man in the equation is at the end of his words, friend number 1 butts in again with some brand new, invigorating topic to speak about.

friend number two, is taller, not as tall as george but tall, and his hair is light brown and much longer than anyone else’s, come to think of it, longer than yours as well. he’s enjoying friend number one’s continuous talking, friend number one must be funny because friend number two keeps obnoxiously laughing and clutching one’s arm every time a joke is cracked.

then friend number three, who you know so dearly as ross, is here for one’s jokes, but he’s nowhere near as touchy on one as two is. maybe there’s something deeper going on with friends one and two.

but you don’t plan on investigating the meaning of their relationship, not tonight at least.

lastly, your eyes fall on george, who you’re sure you haven’t witnessed speak a single word this whole time, instead responding in understanding nods and occasional laughs. if you weren’t so close with him, you’d have thought perhaps he was enjoying himself, but you know better than that.

you roll off the couch, locating your balance before sliding open the glass door. all heads turn to look at you, now.

“hey bitches!” you greet the four men standing there, and you’re immediately out of place with them, you’re not a hip male musician living in los angeles, which is all they have in common, but you insert yourself anyways for the sake of your man.

you walk close and rest a hand on george’s toned back, briefly rubbing up and down, “can i talk to you inside about something?” you speak casually to him, and again, he doesn’t say anything, not to you or to the group, but he gives a quick smile to the men as if to excuse himself without any words.

you push him inside first and close the door behind the both of you, leading him back to the couch where no one on the back porch can see either of you anymore. he breathes a sigh of relief.

“thank you, my darling, i thought i’d never get away.” both his hands on your shoulders, he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“don’t mention it.” he pulls you to sit on his lap on the couch.

he buries his head into your hair, taking a deep inhale. “you smelling me, you freak?” you ask him.

he sighs out the gust of wind he breathed in, making your hairs tickle the back of your neck and you shrink away from it, temporarily cursing his too-tight hold on you until you remember how much you like it all other times.

“do i not having smelling privileges yet?”

you turn back a little bit to look him right in the face. “at least take me to dinner first.”

your face feels comedically close to his, you’re practically breathing the same air and if you speak more words, your nose would brush against his own. it feels so intimate you feel like you need to take a breath not provided by him, find some air of your own somewhere in your own space.

“i paid for your breakfast,” he pokes you playfully in the rib, “and your lunch.”

“breakfast hardly counts. it was made it from the ingredients in your fridge, but matty pays for half that shit.”

he just smiles, patiently, like he always does when he surrenders opinion to let you be right in an argument. he’s so sappy it’s annoying. “but who cooked that breakfast?”

you roll your eyes.

“that’s what i thought.” he tightens his hold around you, clasping his hands together at your waist.

you lean in more to rest your head on his shoulder. “have i told you that you look perfect tonight?”

you giggle, “hmm, no i don’t think i’ve heard that one yet. maybe you should say it again.”

he speaks lower, quieter, like a secret spoken between two lovesick people, which you are, in any and every sense, “you look perfect.”

“thank you.”

“don’t thank me, i’m bare minimuming.”

“that’s not a real word.”

“it is now.”

“ok, weirdo.”

he grabs you gently by the back of your head, not pulling but softly lifting up your head to come face to face with him again. “can i kiss you?”

you smile, lips already brushing against his, “you don’t have to ask.” with his grip on your head, he holds you steady and does all the heavy lifting, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on your lips, causing your eyes to flutter shut, only keeping direct contact for a small moment but lingering there.

suddenly, he scoops you up and ascends from the couch. you yelp, gripping onto him for dear life as if you’ve ever known him to drop you. you wrap your legs around his waist to ensure the closeness, and he starts carrying you back to his room, and you know you hear matty hollering about it from the living room, but you can’t bring yourself to care even a little bit.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

taglist: @itssimpleanditgoeslikethis @indierockgirrl @milkluvr8 @americanangel

[god-has-entered-my-body]

Falling for you - M.H x Reader // pt. 8

A/N: i'm getting sort of sad now that the end has come. Thank you @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff for being an absolute legend and beta reading everything and being mental in my dms for the majority of it. @vinylandcoffeecollection and @sugar-coat-it you lot have been so nice to me this entire time and made me feel welcome and like i wasn't doing everything wrong, you're absolutely amazing❤️ This chapter is NSFW minors do not interact. Also terribly sappy and sweet cause i can't help myself.

wc: 4k

The light breeze made wrappers fly through the air, George chasing after them, ever the eco conscious one. Matty laughed, rolling his eyes before biting into his burger, sauce covering his face. The five of you had ended up where you always did: The McDonalds parking lot. It was almost sad, with Caroline's having too many horrible memories connected to it, the only place that felt nice was a parking lot next to the highway. 

Sometimes, you’d go to your respective houses, but with Mattys place being far too posh for Ross’ taste, and Hann and Ross’ flat feeling quite cramped when you all piled in, the great outdoors was your only option.

George had somehow found another shopping cart on the side of the road, and was now sitting in it with you, your legs draped over each other as you shared a spliff over burgers and ice cream. Matty, not being able to ask for the spliff like a normal person, started making grabby hands at you, his mouth filled with bits of food. You roll your eyes, handing it to him reluctantly. 

Hann was going on about his girlfriend (well, now ex-girlfriend) and how much he missed her. She had broken up with him a few days prior, stating he “acted like a single mother to his friends”, calling him weird for not answering her calls the day Matty had finally come back from his ‘bender’.

Matty was making his weird food-eating sex noises again, and Ross groaned, closing his hands around his ears, trying to muffle the sound. You giggled at his reaction, Matty turned to you, giving you a subtle wink. 

“You look nice today, have you done something with your hair?'' The question came from George, his eyes trying to figure out what you did. “I straightened it properly, you like?” he nods, turning back to the floor of the shopping cart you were both in, picking up his milkshake and taking a sip.

“Oh for fucks sake Matty, you got your fucking hair in my food.” Hann holds up a blonde strand, clearly belonging to Matty, the curl pattern giving him away. Matty just shrugs, blowing Adam kiss before turning to you. His eyes pierce yours, and you can feel your heartbeat speed up. 

“Cunt.” Adam mutters to himself before trying to throw the hair onto Matty, failing miserably. 

“Let's go to the lake, I fancy a swim.” Ross pipes up. You immediately agree, the weather was warm enough and a night swim sounded fantastic right about now. George whined about how unsanitary the lake was, but everyone knew he would be the first one in it the moment you got there.

The walk there was calm, Ross and George leading the way, with you and Matty right behind them. Adam was trudging along beside you, loopy and tired and hungover. You take a stab at him for acting like an old man, and he shoots you a glare that shuts you up, holding your hands up defensively as he turns back to stare at the ground in front of him. 

The field was slightly damp, the grass wetting your back as you laid down on it. The sounds of crickets and trees rustling filled your ears, and you see Matty walking towards you. He had taken his shirt off, nipple piercing on display. 

“Jesus, is that a nip ring?” you hear Ross comment, hiding his laugh behind his hand. 

“Yeah, this one is an aspiring piercer.” he gestured to you, and you nod at Ross, confirming that you had done it for him. It was almost healed at this point, and you were begging him to switch it to something pink and girly. He tried to fend you off, but eventually agreed to let you swap out the black ring for a pink one. 

“It would look so good on you, I promise.” you assured him, your hand grazing over his chest. As long as you kept doing that he'd let you do whatever you wanted to him.

Peeling off your shirt, you lay back down onto the grass, patting the space next to you while looking at Matty. He grins, spinning around and letting himself flop onto the ground, his head immediately resting on your chest. The soft curls of Mattys hair brushed against your face, tickling slightly. 

“Get in the water and stop lying there like a bunch of pricks posing for a summer edition of Vogue!” The yell comes from Ross, who was already knee deep in swampy lake water, waving his hands over his head as he flung insults at the both of you. Like second nature, two aggressive middle fingers fly up, telling him to promptly go fuck himself. 

The sun had set, stars littering the sky, lighting it up. Your legs had started to go numb from the weight of Mattys body on yours, so you had decided to switch places. Arms draped over each other, he held you close as you watched the stars sparkle.

“I want you.” The words sound nonchalant, almost disguising their meaning as they leave Mattys lips. A laugh escapes you, and you trail a hand up his chest, tracing the indents of his ribs. 

“Alright, i'm going to the shop for some booze,” you announce, getting up from Matty. From the water, George shouts at you to get a bottle Tequila, with Adam not far behind, asking you to buy him a pack of his fags. You commit the requests to memory, kicking Matty lightly, motioning for him to get up. He quickly does, his hand intertwining with yours as you walk to the road that was maybe a few hundred meters from the edge of the water. 

Once you were out of their earshot, Ross pipes up: 

“D’you reckon they're shagging?” his question sounds more casual than it actually is. George shrugs his shoulders, going back to fixing his shorts. 

“I’d bet money on it. Have you seen the way she looks at him, or the way he looks at her? He's whipped.”

The knowledge hangs thick in the air, not as uncomfortable as they thought it would be. It was fine, they concluded, even if a bit weird. 

Meanwhile, Matty had you pressed up against the wall of the alley next to the corner shop, his hands clawing at your tits with such an intensity, you’d have thought he’d been celibate up until this moment.  

Not caring if anyone saw, you run your hands up his chest, looping your finger through the piercing on his chest, playing with it. He never failed you, eliciting just the reaction you were hoping for. A pathetic moan, and his hands tweaking your nipple in retaliation. 

He taps your shoulder three distinct times, a provocative grin spreading onto his face. A desperate hand grabs his wrist, and you lead him into the shop, quickly rushing past the cash register in favor of the one stall bathroom you knew was in the back. The fluorescent lighting made your eyes burn for a second as you locked the door behind you, turning back to face Matty. 

If heaven could be cultivated into one image, it would be the one standing right infront of you. Messy hair, wide eyes and a naked, sweaty chest graced your line of sight, wasting no time to press him against the sink, the ceramic digging into the small of his back. The kiss is all teeth and tongue, with him licking into your mouth in a way that makes you slightly dizzy, your knees buckling beneath you.

A wave of pure adoration washed over you as he pulled back, his eyes darting over your face, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Such a sweet expression on the face of someone who was currently grinding onto you like his life depended on it. You could feel him growing harder the more you kissed him, sharp nails raking down his back, leaving raised scratch marks that reflected off of the mirror behind him. 

“You want me, yeah?” you quote his words back to him, his eyes screwing shut in pure ecstasy as you reach a hand down his loose basketball shorts, ghosting over his underwear. His hips buck forward, a moan leaving his lips as the pressure increased. A wet patch formed on the front of his boxers, his cock leaking into your hand. 

An idea pops into your head, and your hand leaves his pants, opting to grab his waist. He whines at the loss of contact, burying his head into your shoulder. A yelp of surprise sounds from him when you flip him around, pressing his front to the edge of the sink, making eye contact in the mirror. 

Your hands move over the expanse of his chest, watching his face closely as he hangs his head, trying to catch his breath. 

“Look at yourself,” you tell him “If you don't, I'll stop.” your voice is firm, and his eyes snap up to meet yours before landing on his own reflection. 

A sigh leaves his parted lips as your hand finally travels lower, the tent in his pants now painfully obvious. The cool air of the bathroom made his nipples hard against your fingers as you ran your other hand over them. 

“Please- i've done everything you wanted.. please.”  his voice cracks slightly as you squeeze him through his underwear, his cock pulsing in your hand. Your movements are slow as you take him out of his boxers, collecting beads of precum at the tip before smearing it back down.

You hold your hand out, Matty looking slightly confused when you do. A raised eyebrow makes it clear what you want him to do, and he spits into the palm of your hand, making eye contact with you as he did. Matty knows what he does to you, no matter how badly you try to hide it. A grin makes its way onto his face, quickly transforming into a blissed out expression as you speed up, thumbing his slit as he lets out a low moan. 

He listened, never letting his eyes leave his reflection, though occasionally they flick over to you, your pupils completely blown out, watching every little move he made. He looks absolutely beautiful, like putty in your hands, you mold him with your words.   

It was moments like these that made your heart swell up at the sight of him, fucked out and begging for even the smallest touch. One of his hands slam against the glass of the mirror, holding him steady. The faster you move, the more he reacts, filling the small bathroom with groans and pleas, the sounds reverberating off of the walls.

The mirror has not been a coincidence, no matter what you led him to believe. Reaching into the back pocket of your shorts, you feel around for a certain familiar object. The camera. You didn't know what it was, but whenever he was like this, twitching under even the slightest brush of your fingers against his cock, you felt the urge to immortalize the moment.  

His eyes widen when he spots the lens in the mirror, reflecting the light of the lightbulb above you. His mind was fuzzy, and honestly, so was yours. Your fingers fumbled a bit, missing the shutter the first time. Even if he played dumb in the moment, he knew you kept the photos of him close to you, so he always made sure to give you what you wanted. 

A sly grin, half closed eyes, maybe even parted lips with a hint of tongue between them. Sweat needed on his forehead, dripping down his face and onto his chest, and he could feel him throttling towards his orgasm. 

A flash. 

A particularly harsh tug of his cock makes his mouth fall open just as the picture is taken, the expression on his face one of pure ecstasy. Your core flutters at sight in the mirror, even letting out a small moan as his eyes meet yours. 

Flash

This time, he’s ready, his head tilting back, showing off the numerous hickeys you had left days before, slightly faded but still visible. His hair is thrown to the side, tangled and unruly, blonde, grown out highlights peeking through the mess of curls. He parts his lips, on purpose this time, letting out an exaggerated moan.

Your hand had now left his cock, a groan of protest coming from Matty as you shush him, your hand tracing up his chest and settling around his throat. Squeezing experimentally, Matty whimpers at the sensation, nodding vigorously to get you to do it again. You do, tightening your grip. 

Flash. 

This picture is your absolute favorite. Your hand is small around his neck, yet still overpowering him. The way he looks at you in the reflection convinces you an actual angel has been plucked out of heaven and handed to you in the form of Matty. His hands clutch the edge of the sink, head thrown back once again. 

Deciding you had given him enough, you reach back down, squeezing his cock just like you did his neck not three seconds earlier. 

“I didn't think you’d be kinky like that, hm?” He tries to seem cocky, but his voice betrays him. He can't control the shakiness of it, the way his breath catches in his throat whenever you change up your rhythm, throwing him off. 

“Didn't take you for such an attention whore either, did I? I guess we’re both full of surprises.” you retaliate, and you know he’s almost there, the way his thighs tense and his cock twitches in your hand a telltale sign.  

“I’m so close- fuck.” He’s asking for permission, you know he is. His eyes find yours in the mirror, and you nod.

“Go on, Matthew, you know you want to.” you urge him, hand speeding up as his legs buckle underneath him, the only thing keeping him upright being the ceramic of the sink his hands are holding on to.  

He comes with a cry of your name, shuddering in your grasp, ropes of cum painting the white of the sink. Small, short gasps leave his mouth as you work him through his orgasm, only letting up when his hand goes to grab yours. 

Matty turns around, planting a kiss onto your wet lips, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling flush against him.

“You got to show me those pictures sometime.” he gestures to the forgotten camera hanging off your wrist, along with the polaroid tucked into the band of your pants. 

“No fuckin way-” you giggle “knowing you, you’d probably add them to your personal wank bank.” His eyes widen in offense, slapping the side of your arm in protest. 

“I know you think I'm just some egomaniacal tosser, but look at me!” He points his index finger to his chest. “How could you not?” Another laugh escapes you as you roll your eyes at his proclamation.

The walk to the counter post bathroom sex was nothing but awkward, with the cashier eyeing you as you walked up to the front to pay. Matty takes out a wad of cash, slamming down a twenty and grabbing the stuff off the counter, quickly spinning around to leave.

The other three questioned why you were gone so long, but really, they knew why. That conversation was one for another day. 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------  

It had started to rain shortly before you got home, your clothes being completely soaked through as you stepped through the front door. Matty groaned as he took his shorts off, laying onto the couch in exhaustion. The two of you had booked it down the street the last few hundred meters, neither of you fit enough to get out of that sprint alive.

The heat was cranked up, warm blankets covering you as you snuggled up to each other, Amy Winehouse played softly in the background, the vocals calming you as you talked softly. Matty held you close to his chest, his breathing regular as he stroked your hair, running his fingers through it over and over. 

You wanted to freeze this moment in time and relive it forever until you died. The gentleness of his hands paired with the hoarse but small sound of his voice made your insides melt. Looking back, this was truly a long time coming. 

But what was ‘this’?

The two of you hadn't talked yet, blatantly ignoring the elephant in the room. Your feelings for each other were undeniable, but what then? What did that mean to you, but more importantly, what did it mean to Matty?

The next few moments feel like a dream. His hands wrap around the base of your neck, pulling you up. He kisses you, sweet and innocent, almost chaste as his lips move with yours. He pulls away quickly, eyes darting over your face before settling on your. A small sound escapes his lips, and you can see him hesitate. 

A deep breath.

“I love you.” 

The words hit you like a freight train. His eyes search yours for a reaction, wincing when you remain expressionless. That is, until you speak. 

“Fucking idiot.” it sounds harsh, and you can see him deflate.

“I love you too.” his fucking angelic smile graces his face, and you pull him in for another kiss. The feel of his hands on yours makes your heart flutter, your heart swelling up with love. 

“Does this mean-” he cuts himself off before starting his sentence again. “Can I be your boyfriend?” His voice is small, and you can tell he feels slightly insecure.

“Only if you promise not to wank to those pictures.” you burst out into delirious laughter as he pulls you back in, he grasps your face, mushing it against the palms of his hands.

“Only if you promise to stop taking my fucking clothes, jesus christ” he tugs at the shirt youre wearing. His stupid blue Barcelona shirt. 

Kisses litter your face, and the blanket starts to feel warmer, like you were trapping heaven itself under the covers. It sure felt like it, with Matty looking at you with an expression so filled with love and adoration you thought it might spill out of his ears.

In a way, you knew it would end like this. 

You and Matty

Matty and you 

“What are we?” you ask, repeating his question from so many nights ago. 

“I'm yours, forever.” he answers, his hair falling into his face as he looks down at you. 

You and Matty, forever.

// THE END //  

[heyidkyay]

I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name |

Part Seventeen

A/n: IT'S BEEN A WHILE! Hi, I'm very sorry for the wait! But even so, I hope this next part will have been worth it, there's a lot going on here and it jumps around a bit but it is longer! Enjoy? x

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Warnings: Lots happening!! Mentions of food, body issues, bouts of sadness and struggles with both physical and mental health (dw, there's still a healthy amount of fluff, im not that evil)

Masterlist

--

“Excited, darling?”

Matty’s enlivened voice startled me from the messy thoughts which swarmed my mind, I glanced up and out of my daze to find him walking over. I hummed back in soft confusion.

“I mean, you’re finally getting out of this shit-hole and your face only continues to look like that of a slapped arse,” Matty snorted as he dropped down onto the bed beside me, though he did nudge my shoulder to soften the blow. 

Still, my eyes narrowed as I wrinkled my nose up at him in retort.

“This do you any better?” I goaded, getting into his space.

I watched his mouth pull up into a lopsided grin, it stayed there even as he rolled his eyes at me and proceeded to shove my face away from his.

“Tons." Matty blew out, "But come on, darling, what’s been going on, eh? Figured you’d be bouncing off the walls by now, been planning an escape ever since you first opened your eyes.”

I quirked a brow at him. “Erm I’d quite like to remind you, Healy, that I am currently incapable of bouncing from foot to foot at this very moment in time, let alone any walls. Also, I’m pretty sure that Dr Mann would rescind my release papers if I even made an attempt.”

With a shrug, I shot him a braggart smile. 

“Yeah, alright Einstein.” Matty drawled with another roll of his eyes. “That still doesn’t answer my question though, does it?” 

His gaze drifted downwards then to where I held my phone tightly in my good hand. Its shattered screen tended to draw the eye- but I figured I’d get it fixed soon enough, when I had a bit of money to spare instead of taking up the guys’ offer of just getting me a new one altogether. They were utter idiots if they thought for one second that I’d ever agree to an offer like that. Though, it had been rather sweet.

But in truth, I only had my phone on me because I’d been waiting on a text. Or a call. Or any sort of notification that would let me know that George hadn’t just gone and disappeared off of the face of the Earth- again. 

Though it seemed to be an ongoing thing with him, something of a hobby now that I’d actually thought about it...

See, after the events that had transpired during his last visit, it was safe to say that I hadn’t heard from him again since he’d left. Which, in itself, had been quite the dramatic exit.

What with Hann having gone off at him whilst the rest of us had been too fucking shell-shocked to try and sort things out between ourselves. George had taken his opportunity and ran with it, darted the second fate had given him the chance. Which had actually been in the arrival of the day-nurse with my breakfast, who’d been awfully surprised by the audience of people, as well as the very tense atmosphere we’d created. 

The lads, well mainly just Ross, had reassured me a few times since then that they’d let George know about my discharge from the hospital, but there hadn’t been any sort of response from him. Not anything of worth at least, unless you considered him blocking me on every social media platform.

Yeah, that’d hurt.

“Love.” Matty called out again with a huffed laugh, gently knocking me sideways.

I blinked out of my stupor and over towards him, “Sorry, what?”

With an exaggerated groan, Matty rolled his eyes at me and fell back onto the bed in a strop. “You know… when they listed off what the fuck was wrong with you, I don’t remember them ever bringing up amnesia.”

“Oh, piss off.” I scowled and tried to swat at him, but I couldn’t hide my slight smile, especially when I carefully lowered myself down to join him, the two of us just sprawled there, sidewards on the sheets. I kicked at his ankle childishly and his legs locked around mine in retaliation. 

“Almost wish I’d been given amnesia if it meant I’d be free of you.” I mumbled, hoping he’d take the bait. 

And he did. Matty gasped brightly and I could only laugh at the indignant expression that overwhelmed his face.

“You prick, take that back!” He practically shouted, slapping the back of his hand against my hip.

“Sorry, no can do, Healy. Lying’s a sin and all that gobshite.”

I received a derisive snort in return but when I glanced over at him, Matty was wearing a fond sort of grin. “Our little atheist, glad to have you back.”

I shook my head in mock exasperation, fighting off a wider smile, and then proceeded to shove at him when he tried to rope me into an awkward sort of hug due to our position. “Oh sod off, would you!”

“Nah, at least not until you say you love me!” He quipped back, burying his chin in my hair. 

“Matty!” I groaned, but ultimately resigned myself to the fact we’d probably be stuck here a while. “You’re actually such a stubborn prat.”

My head reeled back as best as it could into the mattress when Matty’s face suddenly popped into view above me. “Pot, meet kettle.”

Helplessly, I groaned again.

“Knob.”

—

Knock. Knock. 

I looked up from where I’d lazily been packing at the soft sound and smiled when I saw Lee stood in the doorway waiting for me. “Hey.” I greeted him with a soft grin and he returned the sentiment just as easily.

“You got everything?” Lee asked me whilst he made his way over, eyeing what little items remained on the bed. 

“This is the last of it.” I told him, tucking away a folded t-shirt. “Why, you gonna miss me or something?” I questioned with a sly smile, feeling very smug when he laughed and gave me a feeble nod.

“‘Course I will. Besides, you know you’re my favourite patient, what am I going to do without you and all your chaotic fuss?” He quipped and I had to chuckle, feigning a halfhearted glare even as I pointed towards him.

“You say that now, but you’ll be glad for the peace.”

Lee shook his head, wearing a smile that was only ever made for sorrowful goodbyes, and I had to tut at him before I started getting all misty eyed too. I stepped forwards and threw my one good arm round his neck to tug him in.  

“‘M gonna miss you.” I mumbled into his shoulder, silently cursing the tears that had started to prickle behind my eyes. He only hugged me tighter at the admission before we finally parted ways, and I watched as he tried to brave a real smile for me.

“I’m gonna miss you, too. Reckon everyone here will,” Lee sniffed, “You and your boys have made this ward into a VIP lounge of sorts.”

We both snorted at that, knowing it to be all too true. Everyone had been aiming to get a bed in our unit, what with the band coming and going, Matty and all his theatrics. Just thinking about it, it was a massive surprise to suddenly realise that there had been a real lack of paps.

Or maybe, I’d just been shielded from it… I made a mental note to ask one of the lads later on.

“I’ll come visit.” I assured Lee before my face fell into an anxious sort of frown, thinking it over. “Wait, that’s alright, ain’t it? Me stopping by?”

With a simple mirth filled laugh, Lee pulled me into another long hug, “I’m counting on it.”

I hid my smile in the collar of his scrubs.

—

“Oi.” Ross said to me, nudging my knee with his free hand from where he sat in the driver’s seat, it broke me from where I’d previously been watching the world outside pass by. “Was talkin’ to you.” He added.

My brows lifted and I blinked as I turned away from the window. 

“Sorry, just strange being outside again. Feels weird.” I told him honestly, fingers tapping away on the door handle. 

The giant snorted in turn and moved to shift gears. “Like when you get back off holiday weird? Or you’ve been frozen and just woken up, sort of weird?”

“Second. Futurama type shit.” I nodded decisively, eyes skittering over everything we drove by so that I could take it all in. The gossamer sky and its many clouds. The dozens of contradicting faces. Those with their frowns and them with their laughter. Even the postbox got its fair share of gawking. But then I had to shake my head and peer back over at him, “What were you saying anyway? Before.”

Ross blew a soft exhale out of his nose and I watched one side of his mouth quirk upwards slightly. “I asked if you were gonna be alright, camping out at Matty’s place and whatnot. Figured you might’ve finally had enough of the daft idiot.”

I laughed softly and shook my head at him in turn. “Nah, we’ll be alright. Besides, Doctor's said I needed to have someone close by whilst I’m still recovering, didn’t they? And Matty, he offered.” I shrugged, playing with a loose thread on my jeans. “Well, I say offered, he just sort of decided- but I was just grateful for it all the same. I mean, who else would’ve put me up for so long? Not like I could just head on up to my mum’s if I wanted, or have my boyfriend wait on me hand and foot.”

I snorted at the very thought, but it died the second I saw the hardened eyes Ross wore- even with them casted out towards the road. I knuckled his shoulder in hopes to ease his sudden solemn mood.

“Awh, what’s wrong, MacDonald? Sad you didn't get the chance to house me for a couple weeks, ey?”

Ross cracked a smile at that just as the car made a right, he glanced over at me. “Yeah actually. Could’ve had a right laugh me and you together. Plus, nursing you back to health would’ve given me the chance to get out of a couple of these upcoming meetings we’ve got going on.”

My mouth dropped open at the revelation and I flicked his upper arm in retaliation. “Oi, I’m not some helpless pawn you can use!”

With an amused roll of his eyes, Ross flashed me a toothy grin. “I know that- still, would’ve been a win, win though.”

I simply shook my head at his wind up attempt and left the topic to rest.

Trying not to move too much in my seat, despite my discomfort, I let my head loll back against the headrest. “What time did Matty say he’d be back anyway?”

Said prat had gone and dipped out of the ward a little over an hour before I’d been set for release, claiming he had ‘shit to sort out’.

Ross had originally offered to bum us both a lift but in the end Matty had decided on getting himself an Uber after having given the bassist strict instructions on where to collect the rest of my medication and how to get me home. ‘Safe and sound?’ Ross had assumed, but no. Matty had given him quite the detailed description- having already accounted for the journey and its flow of traffic when we'd first received the news- but he’d also had another rant prepared for what would occur if those points were not met.

It’d been a laugh. For me, at least. Ross not so much.

“Uh,” I watched as Ross’s eyes flickered to the dashboard of his swanky motor before he answered me, “Probably be back about the time we are, could already be there.”

His phone dinged then and we both shared a look when a couple more rapidly followed. 

“Guess you’re a psychic, MacDonald.” I told him, then chuckled to myself when Ross winced and moved to turn the radio up, mainly in hopes to drown out the many messages from Matty on his pinging phone.

By the time we pulled up to Matty’s, both Ross and I were rather thankful for the fact that the frontman had seemingly made it back before us, seeing as he’d gone and left the front gate wide open so that the car could graze up the driveway.

I peered as best as I could through the windscreen at the house as I unclipped my seatbelt and Ross turned off the engine. It looked far too still, which always through me off whenever I came over, but even more so than usual. The hospital had been severely overcrowded though, and so it was incredibly bizarre to be welcomed by something so polar-opposite.

“You good?”

Absentmindedly, I nodded at Ross's question and the man took it for what it was, hopping out so that he could grab my things for me. The car was eerily quiet for a brief moment before the boot opened and the sound of rustling and the birds that had nested in the nearby oak tree flooded in. I tried not to focus too hard on the faint buzz that’d started up, deafening my left ear, and instead moved to follow.

“He reckons he left the front door unlocked for us, so just head on in, yeah? I’ll grab this lot.” Ross told me, catching my attention once I’d finally managed to slam the car door shut behind me.

“You sure?” I questioned him, eyes squinted as they got used to the full force of the sun. Even with its sly chill this time of year, London always came with a harsh glare.

“‘Course, go on. I’ll just be a sec.”

I nodded to myself and paced the rest of the way up to the stoop. Luckily, Ross’d been right and the handle gave way with just a gentle push, allowing me to step inside.

“Matty?” I called out, peering my head around the hallway’s first corner to see if he was in the living-room or kitchen. “Matt?” I said again, this time a little louder.

“Yeah! 'M up here!” I heard him shout back, voice muffled and a way away. I frowned but found myself already making a beeline for the stairs.

“What the fuck are you even doing up there?” I asked out loud as I slowly edged my way to the top. “You better not be on the shitter, Matthew! I’ve been there, done that, and would very much not like to relive it.”

I grimaced at the vivid reminder my mind then gifted me. It was safe to say that it hadn’t been the most gracious of days for either one of us. 

See, the tour bus flu was indeed very much real and also a huge fucking menace. Six hours stuck in a moving metal bin fitted with one singular toilet in a bathroom no bigger than a coffin was actual hell when you were yoshing and another person had the shits.

Matty and I hadn’t been able to look one another in the eye for a good while after that. Only forgetting about it when Hann had gone and gotten himself shitfaced after a show and nearly sliced himself in half climbing up the bus’s steps. It had taken us a bit to finally find the humour in it though, still it was not something I’d like to experience again.

“Oh, shove off, you’re dying to catch another glimpse of this arse!” Matty replied and I had to roll my eyes whilst I took a second to catch my breath on the landing. Though it wasn’t too long before I was wandering down towards where I’d heard him shout.

“If I wanted so see something flat and pasty then I’d-”

The words I’d been about to speak were ripped from my lips the second I bypassed one of the many doors Matty’s house had to offer, completely taken aback.

I could hardly blink, let alone fathom it, as I tried to take the entire room in whilst Matty jumped up from where he’d been putting something together down on the floor so that he could flaunt his way over to me.

“Like it?” He questioned me with a sly grin, but I couldn’t find the right response to give him, especially with my jaw hanging by my feet.

It was an absolute contrast to everything the room usually offered. Gone were the beige covered concrete walls that decorated the rest of the house, replaced by a calming white that had been paired with a beautifully muted sage feature wall. The bedsheets had been revived by a lovely floral pattern but softened by a plethora of blankets and pretty pillows.

The expected wooden dresser and side tables had also disappeared and in their place now stood antiques coloured the same as the green wall, with brass handles and etchings. Then by the window there was a large collage of pictures, practically an album plastered there in a spiral which stretched from the window to the far corner. I couldn’t quite get myself to move towards it because I'd been stunned to actual tears.

When I finally looked back to Matty, he wore an anxious sort of smile, one of which was almost a smirk but tinged with a little insecurity.

“Matty, I-” I blew out a breath and glanced around again. “You did this? All this?”

He scratched the back of his neck, gaze skitting about the room with mine. “Yes, no? Dunno, not sure if those tears are a good sign or not, so if they’re bad, it was all Ross, yeah?”

With a soft snort, I gifted him a far too fond smile. “First of all, I’m not crying. And second, why would any of this upset me?”

“Oh yeah, ‘course, how stupid of me. Too cool to show emotion us, eh?” Matty feigned as he dipped his head a couple times and pursed his lips, playing along. “You actually like it then? ‘Cause I sort of came up with it on the spot the other day- picked it all out myself as well. Had Ross and Hann put the dresser and shit together though, then paid some guy to paint for me, 'cause fuck that.”

He shrugged it all off, acting as though the gesture was nothing. But I could tell he was proud, that of his work or my reaction I didn’t know, but it was probably both though knowing him. I had to grin. 

“Thank you.” I whispered with conviction before finally enveloping him in an overdue hug.

“Ah, take it you liked the surprise then?” I heard Ross say as he waltzed in behind us, dropping my stuff just outside the door.

I pulled away from Matty to watch him walk further inside.

“Even set up the steps! Knew you could do it, mate.” He continued, clapping his curly haired mate on the shoulder as he gestured over towards the right side of the bed.

My forehead pinched as I rounded the two to get a better look at what he meant. “What steps?”

Matty was back to looking a little sheepish again and he trailed on over to where a small set of wooden steps resided. He toed at the structure lightly, “Figured you still had a hard time with he hospital beds and this one, well it’s a lot higher. Reckon these will make it a lot easier, innit?”

Wow.

I couldn’t even get past my fish-mouthing before Ross was intervening again. “Go on then, have you tested them out yet?”

Matty’s eyes widened slightly before he laughed and shook his head. “No, man. Finished just up as she walked in.”

So that’s what he’d been doing.

“Well then, best make sure they’re stable enough for her majesty.” Ross cajoled, wearing the slightest hint of a smirk whilst he prodded at Matty’s shoulder. “Can’t be having any more injuries, can we?”

I rolled my eyes, but not even Ross being his usual twattish self could dim my mood.

Matty’s wary gaze darted over to me and I had to hold back a laugh, “Come on, do as the man says.”

I was met with a petulant scowl before Matty finally relented and shimmied his way over towards the steps in a huff. “Why am I always the one getting fucked?” He mumbled under his breath and I had to hide my smile in the cuff of Ross’s shirt when he moved to throw an arm over my shoulders.

“Ah, come on, Healy. Be a good sport, won't you.”

“Yeah, I mean I’d do it but imagine what Dr Mann would say if I’m already in A&E before the days out?”

Matty glared at the pair of us but didn’t comment, instead he put a courageous but cautious foot on the first step. Ross and I stood there with baited breath, waiting in anticipation whilst Matty drew in a shaky lungful of air before finally allowing the step to take the brunt of his weight.

His eyes had been glued shut but when nothing happened he slowly pried one open, the other soon followed when a prideful grin threatened to overwhelm his face. Ross and I cheered loudly in congratulations (and sheer shock), before Matty, in turn, did a silly little bow for us shortly followed by an odd dance.

“Alright, Louie Spence. Calm down before you really do hurt yourself.” I chuckled and took his outstretched hand in mine when he motioned for a bit of help back down.

“And you said I’d fuck it all up.” Matty beamed like the cat who got the cream back at Ross. “Pay up, dickhead.”

I glanced between the pair in rising amusement and observed the way Ross scoffed before he ultimately dug his hand into his back pocket.

“How much did you bet?” I couldn’t help but ask them.

“50 quid said I’d get the ump and give up. 100 if I paid someone else to do it for me. 200 if it broke.” Matty relayed, happily counting the extra notes he’d been handed. 

I laughed at Ross’s prominent scowl before the giant tackled his bandmate onto my freshly made bed.

“No, not the clean sheets!" I gasped, shooing the two. "Get your dirty shoes off my pillows, MacDonald! Oh for fucks sake.”

I should’ve known better than to try and stop them, because even with a broken body they still somehow managed to rope me into their antics.

“Guys!!”

—

Recovery felt much different outside of the ward I'd decided.

There was no proper routine here at Matty’s. And although I was forever grateful to him, for everything he’d done in the build up to my release and for letting me shack up with him for a few weeks, it was also very hard.

I was still in pain. More so, sometimes. There was no Lee here to rely on, and I couldn’t find it in me to burden Matty any further than I already had. Everything felt like a task to me. From sitting up to showering. Or even going to the loo and drinking a glass of water.

I mean don’t get me wrong, the first couple days had been heaven sent. The peace and the quiet. But then the peace had quickly grown tense and the quiet too loud. And I was left stuck here in my own head for hours at a time.

Being out of hospital meant life getting back to normal. It meant days passing without much fuss, friends stopping in but never for too long, meetings and calls and messages- all of which only ever concerned Matty, seeing as Delia had threatened to sack me if I even thought about doing any work whilst I was supposed to be resting. Which meant no emails, or designing.

But the band meetings Ross had previously mentioned a couple days prior appeared to drag on for hours, and Matty would be holed up in his office or the studio for most of the day. Not that I had much room to complain, he had a lively hood and actual shit to do. I couldn't keep interfering with that.

It was just hard. Hard being alone. Hard feeling so isolated. 

Hann was busy with Carly and work, and when he had the time to spare it was mostly spent with us just talking about the new album or how I’d been getting on. Which was nice enough, but I hated lying to him, to everyone really. 

Ross had been back and forth, he’d annoy me for a couple hours whilst Matty was busy and then he’d disappear for a couple days and I’d hear nothing. Maybe a vague text here or a tag on Twitter there, but that was it. 

And me, I was slowly abandoning what little sense of reality I still held onto. 

Things with George hadn’t gotten any easier.

In fact, I started to ignore everything and anything to do with him.

The guys they never mentioned him, not even in passing. But I knew when he’d been around. I could always tell. Ross wouldn’t look me in the eye. Matty told too many jokes. And Hann would give me this pitying expression that made me want to hit him.

I avoided all mentions of him and the band on social media as best I could and had started listening to podcasts through headphones whenever Matty’s music echoed through the house.

It was difficult. Everything felt difficult at the moment. Life did.

And so, almost subconsciously, I’d taken to hiding myself away for longer periods of time. The room Matty had made for me was a safe haven, it made me feel more at home than I would’ve in my own bed. But it was also isolating, being at Matty’s cut me off from the outside world. He had no real neighbours, no local parks or trails to wander, and the only scheduled visitor he had was the cleaner who came in every Wednesday.

My body and I were also on the outs. A little like George and I, I supposed.

It was an evident struggle having to relearn parts of myself. To acknowledge these new scars I had and the thing that came with them. It was still a shock to me each morning to wake up and be reminded of the damage to my ear. To my head. The throbbing migraines that followed, as well as the ringing and the utter silence too.

Most days, I just wanted to scream. Others I wanted to disappear altogether.

—

“Looks to be healing rather nicely. Though I’d be a bit wary about the wound on the back of your head, it seems to be taking a little longer than the rest.” The doctor told me and I simply nodded in return, wanting this whole charade to be over and actively avoiding the tiny mirror adhered to the wall opposite from where I was sat on the bed.

It was just another checkup, I told myself in hopes to calm the nerves. I’d had two in the time I’d been out, and this was just the third.

“What- it isn’t infected is it?”

That was Matty, he’d joined me as per usual.

In my peripheral, I saw the doctor shake her head in response to his question. “No, but I would suggest keeping an eye out for any abnormalities that might arise. Oozing liquids, light throbbing, heat and what not.”

Matty hummed and then proceeded to ask another rapid fire of questions whilst I just stood up and dipped back behind the curtain to change out of the gown they’d given me.

“How long until the cast can come off?” I overheard him say.

“Three weeks, hopefully. Though we’d probably recommend a splint after that. At least until she’s in physio.”

I kept on breathing. In and out. Out then in. Ignoring the muted whispers that followed.

I tugged on the large hoodie Ross had leant me, one that actually covered my cast, then stepped back out. “Are we all done?” I questioned and the woman turned to me with a polite smile, clipboard in hand.

“All good to go. Your prescription should be ready at the front desk, you only need to head to the pharmacy.”

I nodded and quietly thanked her, slipping out of the office and then the unit altogether as quick as my feet would let me. Unaware of the troubled gaze which followed behind me.

—ROSS’S POV—

With a quiet huff and a flick of his wrist, Ross waved off George’s silent question as he tried to pay attention to what Matty had been saying on the other side of the phone. 

The two of them had been holed up in the studio since the early hours of the morning- mostly because he’d been shafted with ‘G Duty’ (a glorified name for babysitting the walking self-destruct button they all called a mate basically)- because the knob hadn’t been sleeping as of late and so he'd decided to come in and work through some things. Not that it’d helped much. They'd gotten fuck all done.

“Say that again, mate. Didn’t quiet catch it.” He murmured into the phone, listening intently even whilst George decided to take a seat near him instead of heading back behind the deck.

“Just- I don’t know what to do, man! She’s been- I don’t know! It’s like she’s turned into a zombie or summat! Lifeless. Dead, almost.” Matty hissed through the speaker, and Ross could practically visualise his turmoil, the way he’d be scrubbing at his face or anxiously tapping his foot.

He sighed heavily to himself. It seemed they’d known one another for far too long.

“She won’t eat, and if she does then it’s only ever in her room. She comes down in the middle of the night and I hear her puttering about down here, she’ll make a tea or something then she’s gone before I can even see her, and I won’t hear a peep til the next evening- that's if I’m lucky.” Matty went on to say, describing to him what the last week or so had been like for the pair of them.

“I’ve tried everything, mate. She doesn’t want to come on a walk, or go to the shops. Even step into the garden, for fucks sake!” He was whispering harshly now and Ross could easily pick up on the stress which lined his tone. “Gimme a sec.” Matty told him after a tense pause had passed and so Ross listened to him faintly pad about his house before a door soon opened.

“You alright?” Ross asked him with a furrowed brow, only glancing up when George shifted slightly beside him. He ignored it for the time being.

“Yeah, yeah.” Matty assured him, albeit a little breathlessly. “Just had to step outside for a fag. Didn’t want her to hear me either.”

“She there?”

Ross could almost hear him shake his head. George shifted again too and so he shot him a dark look in hopes he'd fuck off.

“Nah, in her room." Matty replied, "But I don’t know. Rather not chance it, you know?”

Ross hummed in reply, then inhaled slowly. “How did the check up go yesterday?”

“Fine, I ‘spose. Doctor said her cast could come off soon, so that was a plus. But they're still a little iffy about everything else though, her ear especially…”

“Still can’t hear a thing?” Ross asked, picking at a long thread in the studio’s sofa.

“Nope. Ringing sometimes, she's said. But otherwise nothing. Sometimes I’ll be talking to her about random shit and I’ll see her turn her whole body just so her good ear’s facing me. I dunno if she even notices it.”

“I know, I’ve seen it too.” Ross mentioned gruffly, his chest growing uncomfortable at the thought of it. At the thought of having to see her go through even more heartache. “Did she say anything?”

“Barely spoke a word to me on the way home, mate. Picked up her favourite too.”

“Five Guys.” They both said simultaneously, and Ross’s mouth quirked upwards when he heard Matty’s airy chuckle titter out.

“Yeah, got her usual. But she mentioned having a shower when we first got in and so I left it for her to heat up and went to sort out some crap, but I came down later it was still on the side. And that was hours after we’d got back, man.”

Ross chewed on a loose thumbnail, lost in his own head.

“I just, I don’t know, what if she’s like depressed or something? I mean, I get it. More than fucking most. But her? Seeing her like that... Ross man, it’s killing me.”

“I know, mate. I know. You just gotta hold out, yeah? She’ll bounce back. She always does.” He attempted to reassure, but he was fucking fretting over it all too. How much could a single person suffer through before they just caved in?

“Ross.” Matty paused after he'd said it though and so Ross waited. He listened to his mate work through his tangent of worries, heard his shaky breaths, and just waited.

“What if she doesn’t?” And the tone Matty used was one he’d only ever heard once before, the morning that he’d decided he needed to get clean. 

Ross hadn’t even realised that his jaw was wrenched shut by the grit of his teeth before he went to reply. “Then we be there for her. Like she was for us. Like she’s always been.”

“Right.”

Ross didn’t say anything for a long while and it almost sounded as though the line had gone dead before a loud trembling exhale ripped him from the tension.

“Look, mate. I’ll head on over tonight, alright? Surprise her.” He decided, “Bring dinner or dessert. Fucking whatever. You can go out for a bit. Clear your head. I’ll try and see if I can get her to talk.”

Whilst he listened to Matty ramble away in return, asking if it was a good idea, if he was sure, Ross caught George’s eye from across the sofa before the drummer quickly startled away. Ross watched him closely after that, but still found himself mulling things over. Wondering how he could possibly fix this apocalyptic mess that'd been created. If anyone even could.

But then he decided in that next moment, he at least had to try. 

If not for his own sanity, then for her's.

Part eighteen>

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 13: I Couldn't Be More In Love

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a/n: completely ignoring the people who said this series is dead XD... to those still interested, hope you enjoy this :) love you for your continued support <3

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She never thought she would become dependent on them the way she had, she was unbelievably happy to be reunited with the whole gang. She was sat next to Polly, her legs swung over hers as Carly hooked her arm around her shoulders.

Matty was nowhere to be seen but she was too focused on the two girls to notice. She had missed them, dearly.

"How was Rome? Now Matty's not here you can tell us everything" Polly says and Lou smiles. She was happy to be back with the gang, reunited with her girls who she had missed a lot.

"It was amazing ..." Her words trail off and she looks at her hands, sighing.

"What's up?" Carly says, grasping Lou's hand in hers.

"Do you think we moved too quickly? He got my initial tattooed on his ring finger.... Don't get me wrong... I'm so happy... But I'm worried I'm too wrapped up in him to actually have a reasonable opinion" she says, her words rushed. The two girls share a look and then they look at Lou.

"I think... Everything that has happened has been intense... But I think it's good. It is fast but it's not too fast... Years worth of secret pining is going to lead to all this" Carly said and Lou nods, before looking at Polly, needing her opinion too.

"I think it's cute... He's so in love with you... I've never seen him this happy" she smiles at Lou and Lou smiles back.

"I really love him too... Sometimes I think it's just all too much to take in" Lou says and the girls both hug her. Matty was standing at the door, sad to be overhearing those words.

He avoids her the whole day, and what annoys him is she doesn't even seem to notice. She's spent most of the day with Polly and Carly and now is wedged between Ross and George, the three of them laughing loudly about something. They didn't have a show today, just catching up before they were wrapped back up in tour.

Matty enters the room, and her eyes find his, smiling at him, only frowning when he doesn't smile back.

"Excuse me a second..." She says to Ross and George, the both of them nodding at her as she stood, following the man who was walking away from her, back out of the room and into his own dressing room.

"Hey... What's up?" She asks, hand touching his back, he flinches. It hurts her.

"Oh so now you can notice me" he says and she frowns. He flinches at his own words, his face contorting, almost looking like he was in pain.

"Have I missed something? What's going on Matty" she says and he looks at her then, he slightly rolls his eyes before he sighs. She can see the battle going on in his mind, the storm brewing behind his eyes, before they soften and his shoulders slump slightly. He then walks up to her and wraps his arms around her. He feels small in her arms and it saddens her.

"sorry for being a dick" he mumbles into her hair. Her hands stroke up and down his back.

"Just talk to me" she says softly and he slowly pulls back.

"I heard what you said to Carly and Polly... About this" he gestures between them "being too much" she shakes her head a that.

"That's not what I meant Matty" she sooths her hands over his face, the stubble under her fingertips something she was used to now.

"I love you... You know that... It's just.." she pauses, thinking over her words, her hand absentmindedly grazing over his cheek.

"everything has happened so quickly and I haven't had time to think... Doesn't change the fact I love you" she says, offering him a soft smile in hopes he smiles back.

"What do you need to think about love? Tell me and I'll give you the space, you just need to talk to me" she scoffs at that because he didn't come to her and air his thoughts, instead he chose to be bitter and snap at her.

"Okay sorry that's unfair because I acted like a child not even two minutes ago... But we just need to talk things through okay?" She nods and her own shoulders slump this time.

"I don't know what I need to think about Matty... I just need to think, on my own. I've loved spending time with you but I haven't done much else... And I've had the best time. Truly" she smiles at him and he smiles too.

"Just need a little bit of space yeah?" He asks, holding her hands in his. She nods and then so does he.

"I can do that" she finds it very sweet that he's even willing to.

"Thank you"

"anything for you my love... Don't go too far though? Still need you" he speaks the truth.

"Of course not"

"I love you" he says and she smiles.

"I love you too" they kiss and the issue seems to be resolved. The next day she doesn't see him around as much, at some point during the day Jamie informs her that Matty was busy doing something for dirty hit. The most she sees of him is on the stage and he doesn't hold eye contact like he usually does. He's his true Truman Black self during the first half and his usual (if not slight withdrawn) self in the second half.

When they leave the stage he doesn't wrap her up in his arms like he usually does and she finds her shoulders slumping and a frown resting on her face. She watches as Matty follows the boys backstage, his arm hooking around George and Polly.

She suddenly feels a bit unwanted so makes her way to her dressing room. It's unusually tidy and bare, having not been used. She sits for a few moments, deciding that she's being silly so she returns to the group, finding a space next to Ross.

"You alright rockstar?" Again he could sense something was wrong even before she even had to say. She just nods, and Ross feels his heart pang a little, she usually would've confined in him, but right now she wanted Matty... And she didn't have him.

She stared at Matty as he laughed with George, desperately hoping he'd move his eyes across the room and hoping even more that they'd stop on her. Hoping he'd offer her a smile or excuse himself from the conversation and join her. But his eyes never falter and she's forced to look back at Ross', who's still looking down at her.

"I'm not really feeling it... Think I'm going to head back to the hotel" she informs Ross, who reluctantly hugs her and lets her leave the room. He immediately walks over to Matty, disturbing his conversation with George.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" The tall man says, looking down at Matty, who seems small in comparison now. Matty looks up at the man in shock, a look of pure confusion resting on his face.

"I just watched you completely ignore your girlfriend for the past day and now she's left and I know something is off with her but she won't tell me... Probably because she wants you and you're fucking ignoring her" Ross never spoke to Matty that way, his tone harsh and accusatory.

"She said she wanted space... I'm giving it to her" Matty says, sounding far too like the person he used to be, his voice is clipped and blunt, angering both George and Ross.

"Doesn't mean you ignore her mate" George says, making Matty's head snap to him now.

"I swear I cant do anything fucking right" Matty says, storming off, leaving the two angered men behind.

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

They get undressed in silence, Matty striping down to his black underwear, sitting on the edge of the bed as he removes his socks. Lou feels oddly uncomfortable pulling the Tshirt of his over her head, watching herself in the mirror, her underwear being completely covered by the material, resting above her knees. She'd usually smile or chuckle at herself at how the shirt drowned her and how it made her realise how tall Matty actually was in comparison to herself.

She applied moisturiser to her skin, watching Matty in the reflection of the mirror. His hair was wet from the shower he took and the room smelt like him. Her heart sinks as she sees the unbudging frown resting against his lips and the way he's worryingly tugging at his curls.

"Everything okay?" She says, finding his eyes in the mirror. They were the first words either of them had spoken and the sigh Matty lets out indicates that he wasn't happy.

"I don't know, you tell me" his voice is still clipped and blunt, making her spin in her place.

"what's that supposed to mean?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're the one that threw a tantrum and left" he says and she nearly gasps at his harsh words. Her mouth opens ready to speak but then she loses her words and her mouth shuts again. She turns back to face the mirror, not wanting to face him right now.

"So you're just going to ignore me then?" Matty says, making her whip her head back round.

"You're joking me right? You have to be joking?" She asks, she feels anger boiling in her blood.

"You're the one that's been ignoring me the whole day!" She snaps, her voice slightly raised.

"You started it!" He snaps back, standing from the bed sounding like an insolent child.

"Wow Matthew, real mature of you!" She says, taking a step towards him.

"Don't call me Matthew" he warns, taking a step towards her now.

"Don't act like a fucking child and maybe I won't" she snaps, heaving chest matching his.

"At least I didn't act like a spoilt brat... Surprised I didn't have you begging for my attention" he says, his words are harsh but there's something about his tone that's teasing and far too tempting. He takes two strides towards her now, chest flush against hers.

"You can be such an arse sometimes"

"oh an arse? Really?" He challenges. Their words fall short for a moment, the two of them looking into each other's eyes before snapping down to their lips.

Matty's eyes almost soften and she watches as his mouth briefly opens, about to say something before she interrupts.

"shut up" she forces her mouth to his, halting his speech immediately. He's quick to grip her hips, his hands moving round them until he's grasping handfuls of her arse, pulling her flush against his core. She could feel him steadily hardening beneath his boxers. He angrily moves his lips against hers, tongue powerfully pressing against hers, practically forcing them both down her own throat. But she loves it, pushing him by his shoulders in one strong shove until he's crashing down to the bed, catching himself by his elbows and watching as she draped herself over him, her thighs either side of his.

"love-"

"seriously shut up" she says, mouth pressing against his again.

"just wanted to say you look really fucking hot" he says and she has to resist the urge to smile against his mouth, instead she chooses to pull his bottom lip between her teeth, making him groan into her mouth.

Her hips press down against his making his hands snap to them, controlling her movements, forcing her to grind vigorously and firmly against him, until her head is snapping backwards and her mouth is falling open as a high pitch moan tumbles from her swollen lips.

"fuck I need you" he mumbles into her neck, one hand moving from her hip to tug the shirt over her head, revealing her pebbled nipples, his mouth claiming them in his mouth.

"oh so now you need me" she says, gasping as he thrusts his hips upwards, effectively shutting her up.

"always need you" he admits into the swell of her breast. She doesn't give in to his words like she usually would, she was angry at him, but her need for him was unfathomable and that overrode the anger. She was still going to give him a tough time for his behaviour.

"Don't think you deserve it" she says, making him pull back from her breast.

"don't act so innocent love ... You started it with this "I need space" bullshit" he says, her movements stopping.

"you know that's not what I meant" she says, resting her hand against his bare shoulder.

"Fucking felt like it" he says, his grip on her hip loosening slightly, his thumb running along the bone gently for a moment.

"I can't believe you" she says, pressing against his shoulder as she removes herself from him, bending over to pick up his Tshirt off the floor. He's quick to follow her movements, halting them with a hand to her wrist, not a firm grip at all but it stops her.

"don't leave" his voice is soft for a moment and she turns to find his soft eyes boring into hers.

"I don't really fancy spending the night with the old Matty thank you" she says, being honest with him.

"The old Matty?" His eyebrows raise and he smirks down at her for a second before his lips are moving into a frown.

"You're being an arsehole Matty, you asked me if I needed a little space and I said yes... That doesn't mean ignoring me all day and then acting like this' she says gesturing to him. He gently grabs her hand in his.

"felt like you didn't want me anymore" he says, eyes trained on the floor.

"Why didn't you just say that then? You can't just expect me to know how you feel all the time Matty" she says, still upset with him despite him telling the truth now.

"I know I'm sorry... I really am" he says, bringing her hand up to his mouth and pecking the knuckles.

"You can't just say you're sorry and expect me to come running back to you Matty...." She says, heart sinking.

"I know...." He says, eyes finding hers. She looks at him, not knowing what to say, hoping he'd say something so she didn't have to.

"I've had the best time with you and I love you so fucking much... I know it's happened quickly but it's been the fucking best. Just felt a bit shitty that you wanted space from that" he admits and she feels bad for him.

"I didn't want space from that Matty, I wanted all of that... I love you so much and I'll always want you... I just wanted a bit of space to think... To be with g and Ross and Hann and Carly and Polly and the rest.... Don't want us spending every minute of the day with each other and then realise were sick and tired of each other" she says, admitting the real reason why she asked for space in the first place.

"You're sick and tired of me?" He asks.

"no Matty" she sighs "are you even listening to me?" She pulls away from him.

"I'm sorry'

"stop saying you're sorry!" She snaps, watching as he flinches and steps further away from her, until he's sitting on the bed

"shit Matty I'm sorry" she says, stepping towards him, kneeling in front of him. The look in his face tells her everything she needed to know: he was acting this way because he was so frightened of losing her.

"Listen to me okay?" She asks, holding his hands that resting in his lap.

"I want you, I want you always Matty... These past couple of months... Everything that has happened ... It's been the best. The best thing that has ever happened to me, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me" she speaks slowly so he understands and she watches as he nods before continuing.

"but everything has been you... I've lived and breathed you everyday for the past... However long... And it's been incredible. But I guess I just needed some space... To see what that was like... And I don't want you resenting me for taking you away from everything else you should be experiencing right now, life with the boys and this tour... Do you understand that?" She says and again she watches as he registers her words, watching as he nods down at her. He gently holds her face in his palms.

"I love you, so much, I couldn't be more in love with you. You are my life now... I'm not going to feel bad about wanting to spend all this time with you... I've spent the last fuck knows how long with the boys... Pining over you in secret and wanting you in my life like this... I've never wanted something more than this band and being with my guys, until you. And now I have you I want to spend every waking moment making up for the time we lost. Do you understand that?" He asks and she nods up at him, he's quick to pull her up to him.

"I get that Matty I do, but we've got all the time in the world okay? I'm not going anywhere..." He nods at that, he's silent for a beat and takes the opportunity to place a kiss to her mouth, a gentle and loving one.

"You said you needed space to see what it's like not... Being with me all the time... Not living and breathing me..." He quotes her own words and she nods "what was it like?" He asks.

"I enjoyed being with Ross and George and everyone else... But I wanted you there too... Ross asked me how I was and... I wanted it to be you .. i wanted to tell you all about how I was feeling" she says and he can't help but smile at her.

"So.... What does that mean?" He asks, smiling at her, her face mirroring his. Neither know why they're smiling.

" I don't want space from you Matty. I want all of you... All the time.... And I know that's not exactly completely feasible... Because eventually I won't have you all the time... But up until then, I want you always... When I'm with the boys or when you are... Just... always" she says and he smiles a huge smile back at her.

"Sounds like a good idea to me" he says making her chuckle.

"I love you" she says.

"I love you too.... And I'm sorry for being an arsehole" he says.

"at least you're not an insufferable one...' she says, fingertips swiping the curls away from his face.

"Don't lie love, I'm completely insufferable" he says, making her laugh loudly.

"You're my insufferable Arsehole and I'll happily suffer you forever" she says making him laugh now.

"I'm your insufferable Arsehole" he confirms, smearing his mouth against hers.

note: guys we're so close to the end and i might cry thinking about that

[lottiecrabie]

Talking about the crablurbs, which ones are your favorites would say?

Oh this is such a fun ask… you have made a grave mistake sending it to me cos now i get to Talk about my writing.

ok well as i’ve mentioned i do believe my angst ones are my best written and most poignant blurbs. i reread boyfriend quite frequently and it always gives me the same feeling of hurt and anger. reader pointing out that his ‘she likes when you bite, she loves to moan for me’ is the same thing he was defending her from, which is men sharing her intimacy, and her saying she did everything she did with him because she Trusted him, and now she doesn’t, is again just such perfect heartwrenching angst. i just believe it’s a great conflict and well-done dialogue.

i do also love girlfriend and its twin as more sweet angst. they care for each other and i think that’s a lot more comforting, but you still get plenty of sadness from them being apart and Suffering. i do love that even though he’s with someone new and they’re not together, when he sees it hurts her, he drops his hand away from delaney. like oh this is so meaningful…… Also sorry for making delaney canon and giving them a past lol this is even more angsty now

drunk and morning after are the only fluffy blurbs i’ve written, and one is half angsty too. although i don’t think fluff is my Greatest strength, i do enjoy the sweetness of the sequel. i love the bit about the end of times; it’s just a neat bit of writing. drunk is especially fun with all her drunk ramblings and him literally dropping everything to come pick her up.

other than the Angst Blurbs, i do enjoy the horny ones too.

tdab cockwarming is my favorite i believe. i think it’s an interesting switch-up in their dynamic and just plain Hot. i do think about it a lot I shall be honest…. at least when i was writing, i felt as if i had portrayed the Moment and emotions very well. like i was There.

linecook threesome is very famous, and for a reason! it’s not even particularly linecook coded but damn i love that bit where they shush her and say We’re not talking to you. i will not unpack that.

i like the bi threesome blurb too. matty healy and a pretty girl is a Dream, and i just thought it was almost sweet that she needs to physically touch him to appreciate the moment and beckons him over. them working together to get her off is <33

its been reclassified so play me a song is a great blurb. sorry ross for not writing as much for you, but damn you got a banger! i’ve always loved the idea of fingering someone while they play so finally writing it was…..

i’d say others i like but think about less are linecook cockwarming, professor cockwarming and cheating….

thank you for hearing me ramble but also sorry for doing all that lol. pls share your favorite crablurbs As Well always love to hear it<3

[maxverstappensflatbrim]

Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [4]

chapter four, act one: antichrist

January 18th 2012

It’s a sunny day.

And warm, especially for January.

The flowers are starting to bloom, dandelions and buttercups.

But that’s not how the day feels. It feels dreary and sad.

But that’s not how Tommie feels. No, she’s angry, furious.

At herself, her mother, at everyone.

There’s a hand squeezing her shoulder that brings her out of her thoughts and tears her eyes away from the grey stone.

“Ready to go?”

She lets her eyes glance at Adam for a second, then the other three Manchester boys who’d travelled down and are watching from afar.

“Yeah, yeah.”

He wraps his arm around her shoulder and tugs her into his side, his other arm soothing against her head as she breaks down into a sob.

She cries into his chest and he rests his chin on her head, a soothing back running up and down her back.

“Why didn’t she tell me?”

“She wanted to protect you.”

“Protect me?” She shakes her head and pulls out of his grip, the back of her wrist rubbing her nose, “No, this is typical her behaviour. She did this- she did this on purpose. She always does this, keeps me out of things until it's too late then eats us both up.”

“Tommie-”

“All the time, all the damn fucking time, all-”

“Okay…” Adam tries to bring her into him again but she pushes him away, “Tom, please, let’s go.”

She steps back, a hand shaking as it covers her mouth, only to run up her face and through her hair to pull out the bobble holding her hair up.

The other three make their way over at this point, George placing a comforting hand on Adam’s back as he tries to hold back his own tears at losing his aunt.

Ross is the one who heads for Tommie, taking her into one of his bear hugs. She doesn’t fight back this time, she lets her hands fist his coat and rests her forehead on his chest as she cries into him.

Matty goes for Adam, reaching for his hand and squeezing, “We’ll be okay.”

Adam turns to his best mate, tilting his head as tears fill his eyes, “I’m worried this will break her, Matty.”

He sniffs and tugs his other arm free of George to rub his cheeks, letting George hold it again when he’s satisfied there are no more tear trails.

“She still has you, us, we won’t let her be alone.”

Adam shrugs halfheartedly, “Doesn’t matter how many people she can surround herself with, she can still feel so alone- I just wish there was something more I could do for her.”

“I promise you-” George sends him a look over the top of their friend's head, Matty chooses to ignore it, he’s always been a little too impulsive with his promises, whereas George thinks their sacred things that shall only be given if you’re sure you can achieve it, “I will not- we will not,” He gestures to himself then George, and then over to where Ross is still holding Tommie, “Let anything happen to her. I will make it my soul purpose to be sure she gets through this and lives a happy life.”

Adam tugs him in with one harsh pull of his shirt and wraps his arms around him before he starts crying into his shoulder. George moves up behind them, wrapping his long arms around them both.

Matty turns his head, and despite the situation he smiles. He watches Ross’ large frame tower over Tommie, practically swallowing her whole as she grips him. She’s not crying now, just standing there staring into space.

Ross moves them over. Forcing her to join the group hug, she gets mixed up in the middle, being passed around for a couple of minutes hug from each person, the final one being Matty.

He squeezes her tighter than Ross, draws bigger circles into her back than Adam and holds her much more delicately than George did.

But at the same time, he’s silent.

No whispered words like the rest of them, when his head moves and she can feel his breath on her ear she allows the lump to rise. To stay there and prevent the breath from trying to escape.

But he doesn’t say a single thing, his lips press into the skin below her ear, soothing across her neck and she lets her breath release in a stuttered mess. Clinging onto his neck tighter and burying her hands into his curls.

“Please keep holding me.”

He nods, still doesn’t utter a single thing, just tightens his grip around her. But in his head, all he’s saying is, ‘I’ve got you.’

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

Tommie breathes in the smoke of her cigarette deeply, watching Matty beside her as he inhales his own cigarette.

She tilts her head a little and he does it back when he notices her staring at him, “What?”

She smiles a little looking away.

She’s probably had too much to drink, but she couldn’t have gotten through her own mother’s funeral- or seeing the distant family members that she hates- without it.

She’s just a little drunk, cheeks flushed, hair a little messy from the wind that blows over them as they sit on the brick wall outside her local pub.

She buries herself further into the long coat he’d given her back at the church, the one she hasn’t taken off yet, even as she was inside the warm sweaty pub.

She glances at him again in the corner of her eye, cigarette hanging from her lips and hands buried in the coat pocket, fidgeting with his packet of cigarettes, and when he glances at her again she looks away, smile getting bigger.

He sighs, turning his body and swinging one leg over the wall to face her entirely, “What?”

“Nothin’.”

“Tommie.” He says, his voice a little stern as he reaches out to tug the collar of the jacket.

She looks at him, glances up and down then giggles.

“What?” He asks, finding himself smiling at her giggles, it’s funny. The smoke curls around her head like a halo, her bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks paired with her giggles and dimples.

“You uh…” She breaks off as she giggles, “You ever seen that Hugh Jackman film? The animated one?”

“I uh, don’t know, what’s it called?”

“The one about the toilet…” She clicks her fingers, cigarette resting between her middle and ring finger, “Kate Winslet is in it, and the frogs, you know, the rat one.”

“Flushed away.”

She giggles again as she nods, taking another quick drag and letting the smoke fall from her mouth as she talks, “Yeah, yeah that one. You seen it?”

“I have.”

“You look like Roddy in that suit.”

“I look like a rat?” He questions, “Did you just call me a rat?”

She nods, pushing the back of her hand against her cheeks to try and cool them down, “No, no, if anything, I said you look like Hugh Jackman, which should be a compliment.”

“Oh, thank you, very much.” He replies sarcastically, jumping down from the wall and crushing the cigarette with his boot.

He holds his hands out for her and she pushes the cigarette into his mouth, using his hands to drop down the little wall that barely even reaches her hip.

“I think it’s time we get you home.”

He starts walking her down the little path, taking his phone out to message Adam and tell him where they’re going, but her reply makes him pause and turn back to her with an annoyed glance.

“Okay, Roddy.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sorry… Roddy.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

January 27th 2012

There’s a knock on the door, it’s loud and doesn’t stop, just keeps going.

She pulls herself up from the bathroom floor, she’s stumbling, she can’t keep her grip on anything but the consistent knocking on her door forces her forward.

She blinks when the setting sun lights up the room, she hasn’t opened the blinds in days so the light hurts her eyes foreign her hand- the one that's not gripping onto the door handle for the life of her- shields her eyes.

“Hey, oh great- you got the merch we sent.”

“What?”

Matty ducks his head, “The box,” He tugs on the black hoodie, “The new merch we’re trying out.”

She nods, that's when he notices her face, and the way she sways around too much.

“Tommie? You alright?”

“Yeah.”

He steps forward, taking her hand from the door handle to close it behind him, “You, uh… you okay?”

She nods then coughs a little to clear her throat, “Fine. Uh, what- what are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, stop asking that.”

“Have you been drinking?”

She scoffs, looking offended, “Who do you think I am, my father? No, I have not been drinking.”

“Why are you acting so weird?”

“I’m not.”

He raises his brows, looking around a little, he notices the bathroom door open and walks over, “Want a drink?” She asks quickly, stumbling over to pull him the other way.

“You have any tea?”

She nods quickly and pulls him to the kitchen, “I’m just going to put my jacket in the living room really quick.”

She mumbles something but doesn't turn around. That's when he goes to the bathroom, glancing in to see the two empty bottles.

“Tommie?”

He hears the boiling kettle, then a smash and he’s sprinting back to the kitchen, watching her on the floor clutching her head, “Tommie, hey? Hey?”

She flinches when he shakes her, “Ow, what are you doing?”

“How many did you take?”

“How many?” She repeats, flinching when he grabs her head, “Ow careful.”

She rubs her head, and that’s when he looks up, noticing the open cabinet and the red mark, he leans back on the floor and breathes a sigh of relief, “You didn’t OD?”

She scoffs and clears her throat, “OD on what? My anxiety tablets?”

“I thought, you were acting weird, and with everything going on-”

“I didn’t OD, Roddy,” She says quietly, “Just because my mam’s died doesn’t mean I’ve lost the plot.” To try and lighten the mood she laughs a little, “We both know that happened a long time ago.”

He laughs and nods, leaning his head back against the cupboards, “I just- I worry, you know.”

She nods, “I know… thank you.”

He grips her hand and nods and she takes them away to harshly rub at her eyes and blink a little, “I just- got a bit of a headache that’s all.”

He nods, “Can I uh, get you anything?”

She shakes her head and then squints, “What are you doing here?”

“Hann told me, about the house.”

She rolls her eyes and falls back against the cupboards opposite him, “Of course he did.”

Matty purses his lips in a smile and awkwardly avoids meeting her eye, “I came to bring you to Manchester.”

She scoffs again and drags herself to her feet, “I’m not going to Manchester, where am I going to live?”

“With us.”

“In your shitty apartment?”

He nods, “Ross and Adam share, and George and I share anyway, the third room we used as a studio, but we can change it-”

“Roddy, I’m fine here.”

“Yeah? Where are you going to live?”

She shrugs, busying herself with making them both some tea, “Your dad doesn’t give a shit, your grandparents already moved away last month- Where are you going to go?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, maybe you’ll go to uni, but what are you going to do during the summer? And how are you going to afford the accommodation, just- just let us help you, Tommie.”

“I don’t- need help. I don’t,” She pauses and sighs, running her hands through her hair and pauses, hands cupping the mug, “I’m fine, Matt.”

“You don’t even want to move to Manchester to help with the album?”

“Matty, I-”

She pauses and turns quickly, dropping the spoon she was holding into one of the cups, “Album? You did it? You got an album?”

He nods quickly, a smile breaking out. It’s the reason he came down here actually, well part of the reason. The other part is she hasn’t answered anyone the past two weeks, not even her cousin.

She jumps at him, the pair of them laughing as he wraps his arms around her, “We all did it, Tom. The five of us.”

“I didn’t do anything, you’re the genius. You’re the musician, oh my god- this is amazing!”

She laughs, pulling back, hands gripping his shoulders, “So?”

She keeps laughing, raising her brows, pausing her little jumps to rub at her head when she gets a little dizzy and lightheaded. “So what?”

“Will you come help us do the album?”

“We have another EP lined up and then after that the album and…”

She slowly tilts her head giving him that ‘what do you want?’ look.

“Can I maybe… pinch some lines from your book?”

She seems a little more shocked than annoyed, “You really did read my book?”

He nods, “I wanted to know what was so secretive about the leather one you have. It’s good, you’re an amazing writer, Baby, you shouldn’t lock it in that stupid book forever.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

February 1st 2012

Matty opens the door, balancing two boxes on top of each other, “Welcome to the shag pad.”

Tommie doesn’t even step inside, she turns right around with her suitcase and he laughs stumbling to catch her elbow while balancing the bags and boxes in his arms, “Don’t be a dick, come on.”

He kicks the door open a little more then shuts it behind them, “Don’t call it that again, please.”

“Deal. Sorry.”

“Where is everyone?”

“Uh, Adam’s at his parents, Ross is at work, and pretty sure George is at a girl’s place,” He places the boxes down to readjust his grip then walks her through the tiny living room past the kitchen to the little hallway at the back, “Here, this one's yours.”

He opens up the empty room, it’s small, but bigger than the room in her old house so she’s happy.

He puts her things down on the little dresser shoved into the corner, “I’m gonna go order food, that drive made me starving.”

She nods, still looking around the room, picturing it finished in her head. Before he can walk completely out she grabs his wrist, he stumbles back a little, both of their box tattoos rubbing against each other as their skin meets.

“Thank you.”

He knows she’ll hate it, but he pulls her into a hug, arms wrapping around her shoulders as he rests his chin on top of her head. He places a kiss on her hairline, squeezing her tighter when he feels her hands spread across his back.

“Welcome home.”

She giggles into his black t-shirt and he pulls back slightly to look down at her, “That was cringy.”

“I know.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

April 24th 2012

“Ready?” George asks, tapping her on the head repeatedly in a steady rhythm with his drumsticks.

She clutches the neck of her guitar nervously rocking back and forth on her feet, “Yeah, yeah.”

He nods, moving the sticks under one arm so he can grip her shoulders and shake her around a little bit, but then the lights are dimming, Matty’s running out first followed by the rest and the gig begins.

The lights seem to be a little too bright halfway through the show, she’s hiding behind Ross, using his shadow to protect her eyes.

She’s looking around trying to see the crowd but without her glasses, she has to strain, that in itself causes a headache to which she gives up, focusing on the back of Ross’ head where his tag is flipped over.

Tag, clothing tags.

She can feel the tag on the side of her shirt itching her side, during a break she scratches at her side until it’s red and raw, skin flakes under her nails and little droplets of blood on her shirt.

Then- despite being unable to focus on the faces of those in the crowd- she can clearly see their disgust, of her and her playing. Of the last-minute outfit she threw on, a little shirt and some blue jeans. Of the way she misses that one note, and the way she is.

Her hair, her height, her hands, her legs, her arms, her face, her chin, her eyebrows, her-

“Thank you, thank you…”

The moment they’ve finished their final song she's gone, doesn’t even wait for Matty’s usual long monologue, and is off there right away.

Her headache gets worse first, the moment she’s backstage, with actual overhead lights she’s clutching her head and stumbling into people.

After that it’s the noises, too many conversations, the distant crowd, George’s laugh, and Ross surprised yells as Adam jumps on him.

She finds a corner, back against the wall, hands over her ears, head buried between her knees.

Matty’s the one to notice, guiding the guides into their green room with a promise of drinks on him.

He doesn’t know what to do at first, he kneels in front of her but she’s so in her own head she doesn't notice it.

Then he pushes her hair from the back of her neck, moving his cold hands to press there. She flinches at first but doesn’t move until he’s using the back of her neck to guide her face to his chest, removing one hand from her right ear to press it against his heart.

“I’m right here.”

He rests his chin on her head, moving her to rest in his lap, “You did good, Baby, so good, promise.”

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