#and of course obligatory mention that there are plenty of people who are much more disabled from a much younger age

[ostentenacity]

.

[ftm-megamind]

gonna make an elaborate post about darkest dungeon au because Maura enabled me and im kinda losing my mind over it

obligatory tag because i believe you will enjoy this @baura-bear

so first of all, i think the Ancestor would definitely be pulitzer. he would totally spend all of his fortune on excavating some eldritch horrors and curse his entire village in the process, and his last heir (so the one who gets his letter asking for help) would be none other than katherine, and so she fills the "player" role (manages the town, sends out the expeditions, etc.) not only because she is related to pulitzer but because she seems like a good person for that, she's smart and calm and while the first few expeditions were probably chaos she quickly got a grasp on how to manage things (by listening to the recruits' reports and reading old man pulitzer's dairies from when his excavations were still in full force)

and the people she hires are obviously the newsboys who i imagine would be certain character classes (obviously some classes would appear more than once considering the sheer amount of newsboys). and i really don't know who *all* of them would be but off the top of my head: jack would be a highwayman (or a bounty hunter now that i think about it)--the premise stays the same, he mostly works for his own profit and isn't completely trusted by any of his peers, but is still respected for his skill; dave would be a musketeer, kind of a lone wolf, confident in his skills, maybe even arrogant; crutchy would be a jester, lifting everyone's spirits with his jokes and ballads, but also packing a punch and having a tragic side to him; blink would be a man-at-arms and i'm not saying this because he has an eyepatch. he would be highly skilled and have plenty experience but would also be very intimidating, maybe even feared; skittery would be the antiquarian, obviously skittish and ever so careful, always somehow dodging even the mightiest and sudden attacks; spot would be a leper or an abomination, feared but oh so strong and respected; racetrack would be a grave robber, doing dirty work but being good at it, universal on the battlefield, tricky, and with grave (ha) humor; specs would be a plague doctor, fascinated by all atrocities and cadavers he stumbles upon, academically smart and able to make even the strongest of foes fall; and if i come up with anything else i will surely add it here

and the expeditions are always hectic at first, because most of the recruits (if not all) have shady backstories and don't completely trust each other. sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse--i think spot and crutchy and race would get along perfectly, both crutchy and race being fearless, so much so that spot wouldn't intimidate them, and they would make the perfect combo, crutchy playing his ballads and boosting them, race chipping away at backline enemies, and spot shredding through the frontlines. and also just imagine the potential of their quests together--spot, quiet and serious and maybe even sad (it ain't easy being a leper/an abomination that much is sure) and behind him, race and crutchy exchanging jokes, and eventually they make spot snort or chuckle too (and they take great pride in this!) other great teams would be, i think, skittery+specs+blink. blink, brave and fearsome, shielding both specs and skittery, while they help him tremendously from behind. and also skittery bickering with specs at all times (specs inspecting an old, probably cursed artifact or looking at a dead enemy and being like "oh that's great" and skittery behind him giving him a dirty look and commenting "that's disgusting. you're disgusting")

and let's be real, i wouldn't be myself if i didn't mention javid. they totally got off the wrong foot. when katherine assigned them to a quest together, they started whining and complaining and asking her if they really have to go with him? and of course they have to, because katherine doesn't have time for childish superstitions about one another. but jack and david are still at each others' throats. "oh, this guy's just great, i can't wait until we're all sleeping by the campfire and he just steals our things and ditches us, or better yet, chops our heads off!" david exclaims, waving his hands around and rolling his eyes as always. "well look at you, goody two shoes musketeer, i bet you can't even shoot straight with that silly weapon of yours!" jack answers, already fed up with david's demeanor. as they go on the quest (with some other 2 poor souls who have to survive their endless quarrels), they can't help but feel weirdly drawn to each other and protective. jack, with his skillful eye and shaprened instincts from the years of hardships, immediately spots a trap that david is about to step in. and, normally, he would just watch and laugh, but for whatever reason, he places a firm hand on david's chest instead and stops him in his tracks. "watch your step, fool," he says, playing it off as one-upping dave. and david just scoffs, not admitting his (almost) mis-step, but he feels his heart flutter, but he tells himself it's just the adrenaline of almost stepping on a trap and getting his foot penetrated by a rusty spike. then, david returns the favor--as he sees an enemy getting ready to shoot at jack from afar while he's focused on another foe, and david immediately shoots, it's precise and pin-point perfect and almost mechanical with how familiar he is with his trusty weapon. "never turn your back to those things," david warns sardonically, though he can't deny he was scared for a second there that jack would get badly injured or, god forbid, die. and jack, though he doesn't say anything, feels warmth from his very core, because someone--no, not just someone, dave--saved his life. and this happens over and over, each quest they go on, and they even spend time together at the village, drinking together or playing cards together and stealing longing glances, even if they wouldn't admit it. and one time, when they're on another expedition, and it's so long that they have to make a campsite for the night, david notices that jack has a deep wound. wordlessly, he scoots over and with whatever bandages he has leftover, and he tends to the injury, avoiding jack's tender gaze, because no one's ever done that before for him. and by the time david is done, having carefully cleaned and bandaged the wound, jack said a shy "thanks." and david, instead of a snarky remark or ignoring jack altogether, nodded and smiled and said "you have to be more careful." and it wasn't smart-assy as usual, it was warm and quiet and almost intimate. and that night they slept way closer to each other than before. and they felt way safer than before, too

[chikabika]

So like. I was on tumblr in 2012. Earlier, even.

I watched Supernatural, and BBC Sherlock, and Teen Wolf. In fact, I finally gave SPN a shot after three tries because the way tumblr talked about Destiel had me thinking they were actually dating. I asked google "when does Dean's boyfriend show up" and google said "Castiel shows up in Season 4" and I was like, great, let's watch 8 seasons in 3 weeks.

I've watched plenty of other things, but I think SPN, Sherlock, and Teen Wolf are the most relevant, because I remember fan spaces, I remember shipping, and I remember how show runners, writers, and actors treated fans and shipper fans. Teen Wolf capitalized on the Sterek ship, used it to win awards. BBC Sherlock teased a queer romance in the text of the show and then derided fans for thinking there could be anything between Sherlock and John Watson (nevermind that that ship is even older than Kirk/Spock). I know I was deep in the sauce, but before I stopped watching Supernatural, it felt like, yeah, maybe, in the last episode, there could be a confession. Or something. And I guess there was a confession, but we all know how Supernatural ended.

As a queer person, it has felt like, as each year has passed, it'll be this year that queer stories get told in a major show. There have been incredible strides in children's media, and of course there are queer characters in other tv and movies.

But something about Our Flag Means Death just. I don't know, it was hitting the same beats that I have seen in stuff like the shows above, and because I have seen the potential for queer romance in them, and been disappointed, I couldn't quite trust it. I have seen the same looks between two men, the intimacy, that Stede and Ed share, and been told "oh, but they're just friends, you're reading too much into it." And yes, obligatory disclaimer that friendships can change your life and caring looks and intimacy between friends should and does exist. If you knew me in person you'd know I invest strongly in my friendships.

The point is that I have seen "friend" used to cover up or deny queer relationships. I mean damn, we've all seen it, in media and history and modern tabloids. "Kristen Stewart and gal pal spend day on friendly outing". THEY'RE GAY! Star Trek TOS came out in the 60s, when homosexuality was illegal. Of course they weren't going to say anything about a queer romance between the two. But there are plenty of lines about their friendship. Spock says "Jim when I feel friendship for you, I feel ashamed." They are close, they touch, there are long gazes and heart eyes and held hands.

These are all things I was seeing and hearing in Our Flag Means Death, and it is why I was on the edge of my seat, unsure, untrusting, despite being reasonably sure that the shipping on tumblr was not just people latching on to some great "subtext".

In BBC Sherlock, there are plenty of characters who assume or insinuate or straight out claim a romantic relationship between Sherlock and John Watson. In a straight romance, those would be signs that there is something going on, and any denial from the characters comes with a wink-wink, nudge-nudge. There is a scene in OFMD in which Stede is asked/accused of sleeping with Ed. I could see it for what it was supposed to be-introducing the idea of a sexual component to their relationship in Stede's mind, making him ask himself if that's what he wants-and still the spectre of Sherlock, and Supernatural hung over me.

Teen Wolf even had queer characters, it felt that much more possible for two characters whose sexuality hadn't been established at the beginning to realize they had feelings for someone of the same gender. OFMD does not state Stede or Ed's sexuality from the get-go, we do not learn about relationships they might have had with other men, until the scene I just mentioned. And of course I know about matelotage and how queer pirates were, but does a showrunner? Do they even care?

And yes. They do. And it is a balm on an old wound.

Older men, falling in love, surrounded by other queers. Wow.

I have to rewatch this show, because I had my heart guarded the whole time. When Fleetwood Mac came on and Ed reached out with his boot, this show reached through the screen and punched me in the heart. I felt that excitement and longing, and delighted when the music and camera treated the delicate vulnerable awkward kiss with the moment it deserved.

I just.

This show means a lot to me, for these reasons, and it's also just a good show.

[true-blue-megamind]

FAN THEORY THURSDAY: Megamind’s Connections Beyond the Film

Before we get started, it’s time for the obligatory SPOILER WARNING!  

In case this hasn’t been made sufficiently obvious by the fact that this is a post about Megamind written in a fan theory series about Megamind and published on a blog dedicated solely to Megamind, please let me just assure that this article is, in fact, about Megamind.  

If you haven’t seen the film yet yet, I have to question why you’re reading this in the first place.  As well as your taste in animated movies.  I’m definitely questioning that.

Over the years I’ve heard several fan theories concerning connections between the film Megamind and various other forms of media.  Today, let’s delve into just a few.

The first one is so obvious it’s almost painful, but it has to be mentioned.  Megamind is a Superman spoof.  Metro Man is clearly based on the Man of Steel himself, with a hefty dose of Elvis Presley and a larger range of character flaws thrown in for good measure.  (He also seems to contain quite a lot of the Popular Jock archetype.)  The character of Megamind is more complex still, combining elements of Alice Cooper and a nineties Goth theater kid with several comic book supervillains. The best known of the last include alien genius Brainiac and mad inventor Lexx Luthor, but they aren’t the only ones.  Some of Megamind’s engineering and technological inventions call to mind Spiderman villain Doctor Octopus even more than Lexx Luthor, and he also shares some parallels with the mad inventor Dr. Sivana in the SHAZAM comics.

Megamind’s most notable of the latter is the similarity of attitudes toward society.  Both Megamind and Dr. Sivana started off trying to use their inventions for good—the first in the classroom and the second for the betterment of mankind—but both became bitter when people mocked and shunned them.  For Dr. Sivana, this led to a desire to conquer all of Earth while for Megamind, in a sort of microcosm, it led to a similar drive to take over Metro City.  Both Lexx Luthor and Dr. Sivana have, perhaps, the strongest connections to Megamind as share, deep down, a desire to help or protect mankind, and as Lexx Luthor, like Megamind, harbors a secret love for the reporter damsel in their respective stories.  (This desire to do good, especially in the face of corrupt officials, ties into another Megamind fan theory that I will likely discuss in more detail in a later post.)

The connection between Megamind and Alice Cooper, by the way, was extremely intentional.  The creators stated in an interview that, like Alice Cooper, Megamind’s dark, evil self is, in fact, a stage persona.  (Even their clothing, consisting largely of black leather and spikes, is similar.)  That fact is illustrated in the film as we can see that Megamind’s behaviors on- and off-camera tend to be vastly different.  Even as a villain, he is merely playing a role, although in the case of Megamind that role has begun to merge with his self-identity.

There are, however, hints within the world of DreamWorks that Megamind has other connections as well.  The first is fairly recent and intensely interesting. In the Rise of the Guardians, Jamie Bennett, a young boy who still steadfastly believes in the seemingly impossible, mentions “aliens in Michigan,” only to be scoffed at by his friends.  Because Metro City is located in Michigan, (as can be seen briefly when the Death Ray is fired from space,) many fans theorize that the “aliens in Michigan” are none other than Megamind, Minion, and, perhaps, Metro Man. 

This would indicate that the two stories take place in the same world, and that Megamind’s adventures, while well-known in Metro City itself, have been covered up and kept secret from the rest of the world.  (Imagine moving to a moderately-sized city only to discover that—surprise!—there’s an extraterrestrial supervillain in residence and, oh, by the way, if you live downtown homeowners’ insurance is ridiculous!)

The second inter-film connection is less clear, but has spawned some interesting fan theories as well.  The idea is that, like Rise of the Guardians, Monsters VS. Aliens also takes place in the same reality as Megamind.  It’s not too far fetched—after all, both films involve extraterrestrials and amazing inventions—but there is one specific theory that really ties the two together.  Consider this for a moment: Megamind is a blue alien with incredible intelligence who hails from a destroyed planet.  Does that sound like any other DreamWorks character you know?  If you’ve seen Monster VS. Aliens, the antagonist, Gallaxhar, probably springs to mind.

According to Fandom.com, Gallaxhar’s official backstory is that he “destroyed his home planet” for the implied reason that “he experienced bad childhood and unhappy marriage.”  The fan theory is that that Gallaxhar’s planet was, in fact, Megamind’s home world, and that the former created or harnessed the black hole which destroyed it.  This would explain why Megamind’s people—as well as Metro Man’s—didn’t have time to escape despite being space-faring.  You see, black holes take millions of years to develop, and even a rogue black hole would take about a million to shift and swallow an entire solar system, so if the event had occurred naturally, there should have been plenty of time to build an entire fleet of spacecraft and leave for Earth or another safe planet.  (The fact that Megamind’s parents set his escape pod’s navigation system for Earth indicates that they knew of its existence.)

Of course, despite their large heads and blue skin tones, there are quite a few physical differences between Megamind and Gallaxhar.  The first is humanoid while the second has four eyes and tentacles instead of legs.  Fan theories have explanations for that, too, however.  

There appear to be two schools of thought on the subject.  The first is that Gallaxhar was another breed of alien living on the planet, possibly a servile race different from Minions, and the second is that part of Gallaxhar’s “bad childhood” involved being experimented upon, thus giving him his bizarre appearance and his seeming obsession with experimenting on others.  (There is some disagreement in the Megamind fandom about exactly why Gallaxhar was subjected to such treatment, ranging from falling into the hands of an unscrupulous scientist to being part of an experimental medical program.  The latter fan theory suggests that Gallaxhar was both blind and paraplegic, and that his additional eyes and tentacle “legs” were meant to rectify that, but that those physical differences made him an outsider, thus leading to his unhappy life and ultimate hatred for his own planet.)

If that were true, many may wonder what, exactly, Megamind might do if he ever found out about Gallaxhar.  Well, good news!  Just like there’s an app for everything, there’s a fan theory for that, too!  I will warn you, however, that this one is, frankly, build upon pretty thin evidence.  However, it’s interesting enough to be worth relating.

There is a character in Monsters VS. Aliens named General Warren R. Monger who, on the surface, is exactly what he appears to be: a high-ranking military man.  However, there are a few things that fans point to as possible evidence that Monger isn’t what he seems.  

The first is so simple that, alone, it would be inconsequential.  Monger rose through the ranks uncommonly fast, so much so that it caused some comment among others.  The second is significantly odder; Monger claims to be ninety years old despite looking like he is in his late forties.  Now, of course, this may have simply been the character exaggerating or messing with the “monsters” under his care, but some fans say it’s more than that, and claim that Monger chose that age because he was unfamiliar with human lifespans.  Next there is the fact that Monger is so intelligent that, despite one of the beings in his containment facility. Doctor Cockroach, being a super-genius, Monger outwits every escape attempt the monsters can make.  Then, of course, there is the fact that, despite his brusque manner, Monger seems to actually sympathize with the inhuman people he is charged with containing, and even pushes for them to be given a chance to prove themselves.  There is the oddity that, although he is assigned to the secret military base at “Area Fifty-Something,” Monger seems to disappear a lot, often for days at a time.  Finally, there are a few key physical and technological attributes: Monger has some odd and incredibly energetic facial expression—including a nearly maniacal smile and a dark scowl—as well as a jet pack that he appears to have constructed himself and green eyes.

I’m still not certain I see the resemblance, but maybe there are some similarities?  What do you think?

If you’re familiar with Metro City’s resident blue alien, you can probably see where this is going.  Although it’s not a popular theory, I’ve heard it suggested in the Megamind fandom that Monger is, in fact, Megamind disguised using his holowatch.  (This is why the green eyes are significant; Megamind’s eye color is the only aspect of his appearance that the holowatch doesn’t change.  However, I feel compelled to note that the shade of green appears to be different.) Fans insist that it would have been easy for someone as incredibly brilliant as Megamind to hack government systems and forge documents such as birth certificates thoroughly enough to dupe even U.S. Military Intelligence. The two jet packs, some have contested, look different either because of the disguise or because the one featured in Monster VS. Aliens is an older model. I’ve even seen the fact that both Megamind and Monger begin with M being pointed to as possible evidence that the latter is no more than an invention of the former.

The argument is as follows: as Monsters VS. Aliens takes place in 2009, one year before events in Megamind, it’s possible that Megamind, still being a villain, created an alter-ego which he could use to help him search for and deal with other alien life.  (He is shown to be painfully lonely, and the Megamind comics reveal his desperate desire to find other survivors from his home planet.)  Upon figuring out who Gallaxhar was, and more importantly what he had done, Megamind wanted to be part of taking him down.  But he couldn’t be too open about it; he was, after all, still a “Bad Guy.”  This theory explains Monger’s frequent long absences—during those time Megamind was back in Metro City taking care of his regular business— as well as why Monger had a secret soft spot for the “monsters.”  Megamind, having always been treated like a monster himself, would naturally want to give them a chance, but wouldn’t dare behave in too overtly friendly a manner as it would have aroused suspicion.

As I said, support for that particular theory is, perhaps, a little thin, especially given the fact the Monsters VS. Aliens preceded Megamind, so character designs from the former are unlikely to have been influenced by the latter.  Nonetheless, I admit to appreciating the complexity and creativity of it.  It’s an undeniably fun theory. If they haven’t already, maybe someone will write a fan fiction about it one day.

Those are only a few of the theories out there connecting Megamind with other fandoms.  One could go on and on about the subject, but I won’t torture readers by doing that.  Nonetheless, it illustrates once again the immense love and original thought that Megamind fans put into developing their theories!  I dare say that few other animated movies have earned a following so dedicated and inventive…  But, then, any of us who love the film Megamind will tell you that it has more than earned the consideration!

[firesoulstuff]

The Blind Date From Cell Block D

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33159133

Cisco is - understandably - a little wary when his ex-girlfriend sets him up on a blind date with her cellmate's sister. A part of him thinks the only reason they're set up is because they both have kids, not that they'd actually be good for each other.

Well, he's been wrong before.

Cisco can’t believe it’s come to this.

He stands in front of Jitters coffee and looks at the door ahead of him, a final debate in his mind as to if he’s really going inside or not. It isn’t that he doesn’t trust Lisa, but her friends aren’t typically people he wants to get involved with. Of course supposedly this girl isn’t really one of her friends, but maybe a friend’s sister is close enough.

Oh well, he made it this far.

He enters the coffee shop and looks around. He doesn’t know what this girl looks like, but it isn’t all that crowded and he doesn’t see anyone looking around lost. He debates ordering coffee but he doesn’t know what she likes, and it feels rude ordering one for just himself, so he goes and claims a seat at a table with a nice view of the door.

He checks his phone while he waits, debating texting Barry to check up on Carmen or working on a crossword, when he hears the door open and he looks up.

This is probably her.

She isn’t what he was expecting, though Lisa had mentioned she was a “goody-goody.” She’s dressed nicer than he is, in a red flower-printed dress with matching lipstick. Her hair is this gorgeous light brown color that frames her face in loose curls. He starts to think maybe he’s wrong, that this woman is here to meet some other lucky guy and he’s still waiting, but then she notices him watching her and there must be something awestruck about his expression because she comes over to his table, and he awkwardly he pushes himself off the chair and stands.

“Hi…” She trails, “Cisco?”

“Um, yeah, hi.” He stammers, and offers her his hand, because apparently that is what he does on a first date now.

Still, she laughs and accepts the handshake.

“Caitlin, right?” He asks.

“Right.” She says with a blush, and he’s pretty sure he’s blushing himself.

“Cool, um, why don’t I go get us some drinks?”

What follows next is the obligatory awkwardness of a first date of her half-heartedly trying to give him money for her latte and his insisting that he’s paying for it. Once they have that out of the way and he’s returned to the table with her latte and his decaf Flash - he definitely doesn’t need the caffeine right now – he feels like he can breathe just a little bit easier.

“Thank you.” Caitlin says as he places her latte down in front of her and takes his seat.

“You’re welcome.” He says, “So, um, were you as nervous about the set-up from cell block D as I was?”

She snorts into her drink, and he can’t help thinking that it’s adorable.

“It’s always a bad idea when my sister wants to set me up.” She says, “When she said she wanted to set me up with her cellmate’s ex, no offence but I almost stood you up.”

“Understandable.” He admits, readily. Because really, he wouldn’t have blamed her. “What changed your mind?”

She chuckles, and he smirks when she suddenly avoids his eyes and starts stirring her straw around her drink.

“I um… I told myself I would come, it would be horrible, and then I could hold this over her every other time she tries to set me up down the road.”

He laugh, he tries not to but it gets through.

“So you’re using me.” He snarks, taking a sip of his drink. “I’m the bad date who is supposed to get you out of future, worse dates.”

“Sorry.” She winces, and he keeps laughing.

“Don’t be. I respect it, kind of wish I’d thought of it to be honest with you.”

Now she’s grinning along with him, and it’s nice. They sip their drinks, get over their laughter, though he’s still beaming with amusement when he speaks again.

“So, is this that bad yet?”

“Hmm… Not yet.” She hums, “But I can always embellish the details. What about you? Why’d you come?”

He shrugs, picking at his nails a bit. “Desperation, maybe? Been awhile since I had a date, and Lisa knows what I go for.”

He winces as the words leave his mouth; he definitely shouldn’t have worded that like that.

She’s raising an eyebrow at that, more than enough confirmation that he’s right, but at least she isn’t running away yet.

“What I mean is, um, Lisa and I had the conversation a while ago. We’re not right for each other, but we’re on good terms and we want to see each other happy. Plus, with Carmen, neither of us wants the other to waste time on something that isn’t going to last. So I trust anyone she’s going to set me up with will be someone she actually thinks I’ll like.”

Caitlin nods, but he’s still kicking himself. He learned a long time ago it’s never good to bring up an ex on the first date. Bringing up the kid? Absolutely, that’s something he knows he has to be upfront about. But he’s found ways to discuss Carmen while leaving her mother out of it until a later date, assuming it goes that far. But in this scenario that’s kind of difficult, considering it’s his ex who set this up.

“That’s good that you guys still get along.” She says, “I’m sure that makes parenting easier.”

“Yeah.” He agrees, whole-heartedly. There was a rough patch two years ago when Lisa first got arrested, he didn’t want much to do with her, he was so pissed. Then when he finally went to see her all they did was fight. It was horrible, and he could see the effect it was having on Carmen. He’s glad they’re past that.

“What about you?” He asks, “Lisa mentioned you have a son. You and the dad get along?”

She looks away again, her face falls, and instantly he knows he’s made a mistake.

“James’ dad is dead, actually.”

“Shit.” He whispers, “I’m-”

“It’s ok.” She promises, meeting his eyes again, with a look that says it is very much not ok but she’s tired of hearing the apologies. “It happened not long after James was born, he’s almost three. What about you? How old is Carmen?”

“She’s seven.”

He doesn’t miss how Caitlin’s expression shifts, her eyes blinking with mild surprise, and he chuckles. This isn’t the first time he’s gotten this kind of reaction after revealing his daughter’s age. He knows she’s doing the math, and debating whether or not she should ask exactly how old he is.

“Yeah, we had her kind of young.”

“I thought I had James young.” She comments, though the wonders if she meant to say that aloud, because when he starts cackling her face turns bright red and her eyes blow wide.

“I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“It’s ok, it’s ok.” He assures her through his laughter. “Really, I’ve gotten far worse reactions.”

She nods, though she doesn’t seem to be taking much solace in it.

“Were you out of high school?” She asks, to which he makes an “eh” motion with his hand.

“It was partway through senior year when we found out Lisa was pregnant, so we’d graduated by the time Carmen was born.”

They keep talking about their kids, swapping stories and occasionally pictures. James is adorable based on the pictures she shows him. He has her eyes, and her hair, but there’s something about his face that he’s sure must be a carbon copy of his father’s. She almost laughs herself to tears when he shows her the picture of Carmen from a pool party last summer at his Abuela’s; all suited up in her life jacket, arm floaties, an inner-tube, and bright pink snorkel.

“Yeah, this winter, I made her go to swimming lessons at the rec center. Kid was convinced she was going to drown. Didn’t care she’d been swimming plenty of other summers and done just fine. Nope.”

“Oh my god.” Caitlin laughs, “Well, if it makes you feel any better, James is terrified of buses right now. Cars? Fine. Trains? His favorite things in the word. But ask him to so much as look at a bus and he cries, all because there’s a kiddie ride at Adventure Land that’s shaped like a bus and he got sick on it last month.”

Cisco barks a laugh; he can picture that all too easily. Carmen went through a similar phase once; though her issue had been with clowns and he was more than happy to simply avoid those rather than make her face them.

“I should be going.” Caitlin eventually says, fiddling with the end of her straw. “James is with my mom right now and she really needs to pack for a trip tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Cisco agrees with a nod. “I should probably go relieve my friends.”

They get up, and after throwing away their empty cups he walks her to the door.

“This was surprisingly fun.” He says as he opens the door for her.

“It was.” She agrees, and she sounds equally surprised. “Would you want to maybe do it again sometime?”

“Yeah, I would.” He decides, beaming at her. “But it’s gotta be before next Thursday. I’m taking Carmen to visit Lisa and I am not facing her after only one date with anyone, because she will pester me about a second date.”

“Oh absolutely.” Caitlin agrees wholeheartedly. “If Crystal finds out a first date went well but doesn’t have any second date details, she might actually explode.”

He snorts, but if Caitlin’s sister is anything like Lisa, he can picture exactly that.

“So… Friday?” He asks, coming to a stop.

She stops along with him, a smile on her face.

“Friday.” She agrees, before leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

He isn’t ashamed to admit he’s a little awestruck as he watches her leave down the busy street and disappear around a corner. He’s definitely grinning like the cat who caught the canary.

Maybe the girls in cell block D know what they’re doing after all.

[nochanchu]

down for you

pairing: wong yukhei x reader genre: best friends to lovers au | fluff, romance, themes of relationship jitters, includes a hookup mention (no smut though!) and overthinking but i promise it’s cute and sweet--hell, there’s a date at disneyland here! wc: 5,184 description: Contrary to common belief, being in a relationship with your best friend isn’t as easy as you’d think. It’s new territory for the both of you; luckily, you have him to remind you that it’s all learning process that you two are taking together. author’s note: hey y’all! em here randomly dropping a fic i’ve had in the works for like two-ish years now? here i am! maybe i’ll even wind up writing more~

Sometimes you have to ask yourself if dating Wong Yukhei is a good idea, if the executive decision to cross boundaries from the “Should we try this?” to the “Holy fuck, are we actually trying this?” is worth the awkwardness of transitioning.

It’s not weird. Per se. It’s more… different.

There are things you’ve done with him that you don’t think twice about like going out to boba places or spending twelve consecutive hours at the 24-hour library on campus. They’re like secondhand nature. You don’t have to overthink when you hit him up at 2 AM to go grab some coffee or if something’s just weighing on your mind and you just need a distraction. Whereas, there are still things that you aren’t quite sure about like kissing or holding his hand. Like you really fuckin’ want to, but another part of you wonders if this is the point of no return. If you metaphorically consummate this agreement that you’ll be losing him if things fall to shit.

Perhaps it helps that you’ve only known him for a couple of years. Somehow forging a friendship with one another after only a few obligatory discussions in a comparative literature class you both breezed through as easily as you both seemed to formulate a bond over a hot pot place up near the state’s capital city, because “if there’s one place everyone needs to try for hot pot, then that is the place.” (His words, not yours, but you agreed nonetheless.) You can vaguely recall how tentative conversations about homework stopped being about homework and more about what kinds of things you like, where you both hung out, and who you both knew, because unbeknownst to either of you, Dong Sicheng would be the bridge over the small gap between you two.

Because once Sicheng became a variable in the equation, suddenly it wasn’t just study hangouts together, it was coming out at ungodly hours for caffeine and snack food from all the best places in town. It was the necessary transition to be where you both are now, and it was the very push that essentially established a something-more and something-that-could-be, that has led you down this path of hand-holding and shy pecks when you think (and hope) no one else is watching.

The very thought of a relationship with Wong Yukhei still gets to you too. Not only has he single handedly integrated himself into your life as your best friend, he’s become your significant other. Your boyfriend. Your boo. Your… something (everything). And, realizing just how easily he has transitioned his way across your life makes you queasy and nervous, bringing forth a new bundle of emotions you locked away so long ago.

When you look at him, you ask yourself if this is something you should be doing, if what you’re really doing by participating with your best friend is truly okay, and if or when this comes to an end, will you be ready to deal with those consequences? You ask yourself if holding his hand and kissing his lips feel right or if running his hands through your hair or if his large, firm hands on your hips should feel that foreign.

You see happiness and possibility with him, but at the very same time, you fear for the crash and burn—

“You okay?” Yukhei asks with his eyes trained on you. His once far steps begin to match your slowed pace, no longer as excited as they once were for the tea cups.

The two of you have been abandoned by the rest of the group for obvious reasons, and somehow it does not bring you as much comfort as you once confided to Sicheng. In fact, the lack of tomfoolery and rowdiness that the rest of the group brings actually emphasizes the sudden stiffness that you’ve been trying to avoid since arriving at LAX. Although this trip has been planned months in advance, the development of your relationship with Yukhei is still new.

Back at home, it’s too easy to let yourself fall into that small comfort of interlocked fingers and the small shared smiles of camaraderie in your classes. You don’t think twice about it when no one else is around, and yet knowing that everyone else is traipsing around Disneyland while you’re both off doing your own thing makes you feel exposed. Like they know you guys are together, and yet you don’t know what they’re thinking about you two. The most frustrating part of it all is that you don’t usually care about what people think when it comes to you. Your relationships are merely an extension of you, so how this bothers you as much as it does, still doesn’t quite register in your brain all that well.

You know everything’s okay with him. You haven’t had issues over dumb things or really any issues at all. You can’t even deny that things have gone surprisingly well since his confession to you a few months back. In many ways, it has felt like a long time coming, and just about everyone in your shared friend group can agree. But now that it’s here, present and glaringly so, you’re actually quite nervous.

He says your name.

Instead of at the three-foot distance you could’ve sworn you two were at, his voice reaches you by the shell of your ear. The deep, huskiness articulating your name as it has plenty of times before elicits a sudden jump of surprise from you in response.

You flash him a glare when he lets out an abrupt snort and half of a hearty laugh.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says with the corners of his lips twitching. “But seriously, are you okay? You seem a little uneasy. Is it the crowd?”

You look up from a stray gum wrapper just as a few passersby brush against you two in an attempt to get to the teacups that’ve been calling Yukhei’s name since you both arrived at the amusement park. The prick of guilt surges over you as the line looks like you’ve both missed your shot at riding the multi-colored pastel cups this time, you respond with a sheepish laugh.

“No, no, I’m fine. I’m sorry for making you miss the ride though.”

He doesn’t look particularly convinced which is to be expected with all the time you’ve spent together, but he still waves off your apology with a casual grin. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and guides you down the lane toward the line, so neither of you miss the line on the next session.

“No need to be sorry, there’s always a next time,” he says with a small glance your way. You meet his look very briefly before looking back at the spinning machines coated in soft shades of pinks, blues, and yellows. He leans in once more though you don’t jump (thankfully) to ask, “Are you sure you’re alright though?”

You nod, tentatively wrapping your arm around his waist. “The crowd’s no biggie for me. It’s not actually that bad right now.”

“Is it something else then?” When you half-heartedly shake your head, he raises an eyebrow at you. “You can tell me if something’s wrong.”

You blink as his gaze meeting yours does not waver. He never fails to surprise you even when you think he isn’t paying attention. It’s like the time he knew when you were disappointed about your first physics midterm and when you failed your driving test the first time you took it. As soon as he received the half-hearted text message about your failure, he was right over with milk tea and your favorite stew from that one phở place you both love. His perceptive eye almost always catches you when you least expect it, whether that’s when you’re hiding your true emotions or needing someone’s shoulder to lean on. He just knows how to decipher you and your safeguards. And at this moment, you’re not sure whether you love it or hate it right now.

Because the offer tempts you. Of course, you don’t like keeping things from him. You’ve come to a point in your relationship where you can tell him everything and just about anything isn’t off the table, though this has long since been a thing even before you both decided to give romance a shot. Being “together” together doesn’t change that. It shouldn’t. That’s what you both agreed on. Truthfully, you just can’t tell if it is just you struggling to adjust or if he was just that good at hiding how he really felt, because again, he surprises you more than you like to admit. And that thought is enough for you to back off, the self-assurance of your own thoughts telling you that he would tell you if that were the case.

“I’m fine, I promise.” You try to smile, knowing fully well how fruitless the gesture is but still deciding to try it out anyway.

He’s obviously still unconvinced. But the longer he looks at you expectantly, the more you grow silent as a power play response.

If there’s one thing Wong Yukhei hates, it’s silence. It unnerves him. He needs something to fill the air, otherwise he can’t help but fidget. It’s why you can’t study too long together, because then neither of you will get anything done. And it’s especially why he heaves a sigh before amending the situation.

“You’re super sure then?”

You simply nod and he leaves the topic be as you both wait to get on the ride.

Waiting in such a public area doesn’t give either of you much cover. In fact, it leaves you both out in the open, like fish laid out to dry on a burning hot summer day or deer prancing in an open road. It’s as though Fate wanted you both to get spotted, much to your displeasure.

There’s a chorus of raucous laughter and shrill shrieks that could only belong to the loudest mouths of the bunch as soon as you and Yukhei inch forward. The sounds are too familiar for your liking, eliciting only a glare in the direction of all the ruckus as you and the very tall, very noticeable man besides you gives a sheepish wave of his own as your group of friends drinks both your interlocked hands and close proximities in like dehydrated flowers.

“Hey lovebirds!” Yuta pipes up, accompanied by his girlfriend. She’s almost sympathetic to your embarrassment if it weren’t for how cute you and Yukhei looked together, then she might’ve helped you out by calming the excited ash blond whose hand is entwined in her own.

They’re cute and admirable, a perfect example of friends to lovers, though with some minor adjustments—some of which was Yuta’s initial position as her Japanese tutor before finding the courage to ask her out compared to yours and Yukhei’s initial drunk sex-capade, a detail that you still have yet to come to a proper conclusion on, because how could things be so different from then to now? You almost wished you two hadn’t done the deed and instead started things off normally like confession without the pretenses of messing around in the background. But you decide not to indulge in retaliation, merely releasing Yukhei’s hand and stretching your limbs in front of you before resting your hands behind your head.

Sicheng very briefly catches your eye as if to ask you if things are going alright, but you ignore him and the audible groans from the others at the lack of skinship between you and Yukhei. You know they’ve been dying for yours and Yukhei’s relationship since the group started and finally took notice of your close friendship. But while you relished in this unification between your respective friend groups, which so easily blended together, you kind of wished it didn’t create such an immense pressure on you to fall into those standards of what couples do and how they’re supposed to act around one another.

Even if the embarrassment is wholly eating at you, their departure is something you relish in as you and Yukhei are prompted into the ride, leaving behind your friends and their incessant teasing.

“Ah, don’t mind them,” he tells you.

You give him a small nod, which causes him to place his palm atop your head for a couple of a seconds. It earns him a smile, even if it does not wholly reflect the thoughts inside your head.

/

At the very least, getting on the teacups changes the mood.

Being that it is his first time there, and you’re a Disneyland veteran, you have made it your own personal goal to give him the full experience. Like everyone else flying at unmeasurable speeds, you start off by grabbing hold of the steering wheel between you and the ash blond man, giving the warm metal several good turns to get the canary yellow teacup spinning. This keeps the momentum up, moving you both so rapidly, you don’t even realize how closely it has brought you together until you can hear his laughter at your side and one of his hands covers yours to join in on the spinning.

It stays like that too. Even after you both have exited off the ride, you both shakily navigate around the park in search of another ride to quench your thrill-seeking taste buds.

When you look up, you find him already staring at you and looking away from you all in the same moment. It makes you laugh, but you try not to exacerbate the teasing or the pink in his cheeks as you two pass through the vicinity. He has these moments where you've caught him looking at you; at first, you assumed it was because there might've been something on your face that you didn't catch before walking out of your dorm, and eventually, it became abundantly clear that he was simply trying to capture the moment. Last time you shared a moment like this, you both crossed the bridge from friends to lovers, and now you two were at the point of no return.

“What do you wanna do next?” you ask him.

You needed to break the moment. It helped to blink, just so you wouldn't fall back into your previous disposition. You didn't want to worry him, you didn't like to. It wasn't like he meant for things to happen as they did. He hadn't been one to initiate the hook-up, though he consented and reciprocated with as much fervor as you had. He had blurted out his confession shortly afterwards; it was quick, slurred together because his heart was probably ready to jump out of his chest when he realized it was now or never. Either you two would have done that or acted as if nothing had happened, and truthfully, you don't think you could've done the latter. Not when all your feelings seemed to sit in your throat, ready to jump out.

Truthfully, you've been one to admit your feelings to those you admired, but never with close friends. You had never liked your close friends. It wasn't some kind of unspoken rule or anything. It was just a matter of keeping romantic and platonic relationships from being one; it was easier this way, less messy in case things went awry. Close friends were hard to come by, relationships always complicated things to a point where you didn't know whether you had the same person in your life. Previous significant others had used secrets of yours against you; they would take what they wanted from you and leave, and it all hurt like a bitch.

It hasn't with Yukhei, you reassure yourself. And it truly hasn't.

He's looking at you with a goofy grin spread across his handsome face. He tells you, “Whatever you want to do."

The gesture is contagious, and you begin to feel butterflies fluttering inside your stomach.

“You’re technically the expert here, so you take the reign,” he adds, running a hand through his hair. You know he doesn't want to do the wrong thing with you, partially from the group's advising and also because relationships just take that kind of patience. You two have spent a long time being friends, enjoying each other's presence without the same expectations as you two have now. Of course, it's a little different. Of course, you two can expect to be a little nervous. It's untouched territory, you have to remind yourself. You're both figuring shit out.

You don't want to freak him out, so you try to keep the banter up. It isn't hard when he's as expressive and funny as he is. It even helps you push aside all of these floating thoughts a little longer.

“Don’t I always?” you snicker as his jaw drops. It’s moments like this that are reminiscent of your relationship prior to now. Back then, it was easy to have flirty banter, because any sort of intention was simply in the background. It wasn’t mandated by your relationship status; instead it sort of just happened. It didn’t happen because it needed to. It happened because you two wanted it to happen.

He tries to muster up a serious enough tone, but you can hear the whine in it. The sound earns him another laugh from you. “No! I’m pretty sure I’ve had a fair share of being the leader,” he says, with a slight puff to his chest.

Tapping your chin, you reply, “I suppose so.”

The gesture exacerbates his dramatics by earning you a guffaw.

“I do! I may not be the Disneyland expert, but I can make a suggestion.” He tilts his head, ever-so-slightly. “Yeah?”

You stop tapping your chin to wave him on and his hand takes that hand into his. “Of course, you can!”

As he interlaces your fingers with his, you have a mild suspicion that he’s going to lead you to the Silly Symphony Swings. Only mild because it’s rather close and you could see that it was something he had his eyes on since you two arrived.

Something about the ride is reminiscent of him, perhaps he gravitates to them for the opportunity to make his childhood dream of flying come true. It was a superpower he mentioned during one of those god awful ice breakers on the first day of that comparative literature class, and something he went into further detail when you guys had your previous hangouts, before this relationship ordeal.

“Trying to fly, Superman?” You indulge in his desire to swing your arms. He loves it, practically bouncing as you two walk between the crowds.

“It’s just like how you make me feel,” he says, giving you a twirl as you approach the line. "Is that okay?"

It's so becoming of Yukhei to still ask if something is okay. You remember him mentioning how he used to get scolded for being too much with previous partners, always one for the cheesy gestures like twirling a loved one in those romantic comedies or quoting the absolutely cringey lines from movies just for the laughs. You found--and still do find--it endearing; the others not so much.

“Of course,” you say, laughing just as loudly as he does. “I can't control your feelings, silly."

"Can I kiss you?" he asks, "is that okay?"

You nod, almost ready to shut your eyes when he kisses the top of your head.

Moments like this serve to remind you that he still has your best interests in mind. He cares a whole fuck ton about you, and no change to your and his relationship status can ever alter that. He hasn’t changed into a completely different person like one assumes would happen in a relationship between friends, so why should you?

This feels right. The giggles, the weightlessness, his hand in yours.

/

You two finally catch up with your group for lunch at one of the all too expensive restaurants in the park. Since it is Yukhei’s first time there, you don’t mind it so much, as it is an experience you think people should have at least once.

Yuta eyes the two of you, seemingly ready to let loose another witty observation before his girlfriend shoves a French fry into his mouth. She smiles sweetly to him before flashing you an apologetic look.

You must’ve appeared a little disgruntled already. The time with Yukhei was both lovely and nerve-wracking, because a small but rather haunting part of you couldn't stop wondering if your time separated from the group would upset them. After all, they had extricated themselves from the two of you so you and Yukhei could spend more time together. What if you two had overindulged?

A part of your stomach churns as you and Yukhei take a seat beside the teasing boy. Being back with everyone begins to remind you of the initial doubts you had, the very ones you’ve had bubbling inside of you. And it makes you feel worse when you feel Yukhei reach for your hand across the table, because everyone is there, watching, waiting, and worst of all, expecting the two of you to be some sort of perfect, lovey dovey couple going through their honeymoon phase.

Maybe you guys should be, maybe it’s fine. You want to believe it is, but somehow the way you waver to hold hands, incites another comment.

“Trouble in paradise, love birds?” Yuta asks, raising an eyebrow at you two.

You give him a sidelong glance and shake your head.

“We’re fine,” Yukhei pipes in. He seems to overtake your thumb then, and he gives a short victory giggle, mainly to himself. It makes the corners of your lips twitch, though you stop short just as you hear Yuta speak again.

“Are you sure?” he inquires, looking at you this time.

“We’re fine,” you add, with a huff, “really.”

Yuta still seems to watch you both, though everyone else makes work of doing the same. It unsettles you just how much your relationship feels like it’s under a microscope, one wrong move and suddenly things are blown out of proportion.

Perhaps that's another reason why you aren't prone to going out with friends. The idea of a relationship having such an audience unsettles you. You like your privacy and keeping that kind of business under wraps. These things are supposed to be intimate, accepted if the partner is a good person for you (which Yukhei is on all levels), and yet, you feel like your relationship is proceeding jaggedly, because of the hyper-fixation.

You sigh, having already let go of Yukhei's hand once you and the others received your food. And the sigh doesn't go unnoticed either. You have a few glances from Yuta and Sicheng, Yukhei too, but you stand up and excuse yourself to the restroom.

Despite it being on the left, you take a right to get away from the restroom itself.

/

You manage to navigate through the crowd and remain within reach of the restaurant by hiding out in one of the souvenir shops that you and the others planned on visiting near the end of your visit. There's an assortment of Disney ears, stuffed animals from nearly all the movies, and things of that nature.

The ears have always caught your eye, the pink glittery ones, the blue ones. They're all made with different designs, based off of the various movies made by Disney and Pixar, and they remind you of a simpler time where relationships were yours, not part of an audience and watched. They also remind you of yours and Yukhei's mutual love for the movies; one of the main tipping points in your transition from classmate acquaintances to budding friends. His favorite had been the sweet and fun Hercules, while you heavily shared a love for that one, Treasure Planet definitely had your heart. Both were stories of characters trying to find their own in the world. You smile to yourself.

You’re just about to check your phone and update your friends and Yukhei about where you are when you see him. Your ash blond boyfriend who gives a small wave.

“Hey you,” he says as he makes his way beside you. He paws through the ears, probably to see if there are any Hercules-themed ears. 

“Hey,” you say, wishing you had found one just to give it to him. You decide to check for those on Etsy sometime later, or one of those Instagram boutiques, just to see him light up. 

“Doin’ okay?” he asks, stopping his search when he realizes it’s futile and looks at you. 

You don’t say anything, giving a shrug. “I’m sorry,” you say. 

“Talk to me,” he prods gently. “If that’s okay?” 

“I’ve been worried about us,” you admit. “Not that I don’t want this or you. I do. I’m just so uncertain about this whole thing.”

“That’s no reason to be sorry, you know,” he says. He offers a hand to you, an escape from the shop for more privacy, which you take. It's a brief walk to a seating area not too densely populated by the park visitors. It’s a bench beneath some of the all too perfect-looking shrubbery, where there are red little flowers with yellow dot-like centers to make it even more picture perfect. 

As soon as you two sit down, you immediately ask, “Did we fuck up by not confessing first?”

He shakes his head. “I think what we did was still special, even if it wasn’t very conventional to the kind of relationship we think should have. But I think whatever relationship we have, whatever start, is still pretty damn special.” 

Your hand is still in his, and he gives yours a squeeze. 

“Aren’t you worried?”

He lets loose a shaky laugh, “Of course I am. Relationships are so terrifying and new. I’m scared shitless wondering if I’m doing anything okay. That’s why I keep asking. I don’t ever want to put you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable or obligated in any shape or form. But you know what?”

You nod for him to go on. You didn’t realize he was feeling similar jitters.  

“As scared and nervous as I am, I’m just as excited to begin this new journey with you wherever it takes us. And if you don’t think you’re ready for it, then I’m fine backing off, taking things easy, or even trying to go back to the way things were. It wouldn't be the exact same, but again, I don’t want you to feel obligated to be in this relationship if it isn’t something you feel like doing.” 

“I want to,” you tell him. “I do. I really want to see how this goes, because you’re an amazing guy, Yukhei. I didn’t even realize you were scared too. I guess just thinking back on previous relationships and how we came to be got me overthinking. This is new for me. I’ve never dated a best friend before. If anything, that’s probably the most terrifying part about this. I don’t know what’ll happen by the end of it, if that comes and I don’t know when or if it will. But just not knowing drives me crazy.” 

“I mean, you were willing to consider that, so that says something, right? That you’re willing to take a leap of faith and see where we go together?” he asks, rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb. “I think us not being best friends anymore would suck, indefinitely. I think you’re one of my favorite people in this world, next to my mom.” You laugh just as he smiles. “But I think whatever happens happens because it’s meant to. We’ll be in each other’s lives, no doubt. I think it’d take time and space, but also communication if we wanna get through whatever pops up, yeah?”

“Yeah, you make a good point there,” you say, considering everything he’s said. It sounds like your rational side aloud. “I’m sorry for being such a mess.” 

He shakes his head. “Nah, I’ve been freaking out, wondering if I was doing something wrong. Being too much. If it wasn’t that, then I thought maybe I was being too much of a worrywart, but I’m sorry for not picking up on how you were feeling.” 

“You couldn’t have known unless I told you,” you point out. “Plus, another thing that’s been bugging me has been how doting our friends have been for some reason.” 

Yukhei agrees, “They have been, especially Yuta.” 

“I know it’s all in good fun, but I’ve been hypersensitive to it all. This whole trip has been giving me the jitters. I don’t know, it seems so silly,” from Yukhei’s look, it doesn’t see it so casually, which comforts you, “okay, not so silly, but it seems so odd to think that it wouldn’t be super easy to be with you. You’re great and I like that we can finally be honest with ourselves and our feelings, but somehow I expected best friends transitioning to a relationship to be less awkward?” 

“I’m sorry he’s been bugging you so much,” you give a shrug since you know Yuta means no harm by it, “I get what you mean. All the movies make this seem like it should be super easy and super perfect.” 

“Doesn’t it feel like we should be in our honeymoon phase already?” 

“Like the whole ‘I love you so much,’ ‘no, you hang up,’ and then that weird game of wanting to hang up but not wanting to hang up?” 

You both laugh at the ridiculousness. Neither of you are like that, kudos to those who are and can be, but it isn’t you guys. You laugh over silly things, nerd out over movies you love, break out in song and dance when the song absolutely calls for it. You guys have your own way of doing things, and even Yukhei understands the pressures and the uncertainties, and yet, he’s still more than willing to work through them and find ways that will. 

“You think we can make this work?” you ask, letting go of his hand because yours has gone a little clammy. 

He nods, “It helps with communication.” 

You laugh sheepishly as he pulls you into a hug. “No matter how you’re feeling I’m more than happy to hear what you have to say and I will try my damn hardest to help.” 

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, but he simply kisses your forehead after letting go of you. 

“I only want the best for you, silly. No apology needed.” 

In response, you simply pull him in for a kiss. It’s sweet and chaste, still different and new, but comforting all the same. He reciprocates, smiling into the kiss. 

Whatever thoughts you had earlier, you find that they don’t weigh as heavy on your shoulders anymore. Of course, it’s going to take some learning and communicating, but you’re as just as glad as he is that you guys get to do this thing together. 

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

All Norman Bates

PART FORTY-TWO OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: mentions of estranged parents, therapy, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 2.8K

Summary: Jess and Ella experience a bump in the road on the way to California.

A/N: Just so everyone is aware, there are only two chapters left after this, including the epilogue :)

Sighing, Jess glanced over at Ella, who sat in the passenger seat with a crinkled brow and the cap of a red pen between her teeth. They were halfway to California, and Jess didn’t think he’d seen her without that same pensive look on her face for the entirety of the trip thus far. But, he couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed at her insistence on working over the spring break. Her cheeks were lively with rosy color, and her eyes looked clearer.

They weren’t all good days. Sometimes, she would come home from work or school and fall asleep on the couch almost immediately, lethargic and unable to articulate any of the thoughts which were jumbled in a confusing, depressed mess within her head. Then, when she awoke, she would often find herself needing to cry. Whether she knew what her feelings were about or not, she would let herself cry, like her new therapist was urging her to. Jess would rub circles on her back and make green tea and listen. And eventually, she would feel better. They were working it out together, just like he promised. Most of the time, there was a gnawing guilt sitting in her stomach. He shouldn’t have to take care of her, she would think. She was holding him back. She was weighing him down. Each time she brought it up though, he would patiently remind her of how much she had helped him, how this thing of theirs was a two-way street, and that he didn’t mind.

She would smile, in spite of herself. Slowly, it was getting easier, and she was regaining her passion for things. She was drawing again, even painting, finally making use of the easel Jess had gotten her for Christmas. Jess often made jokes about how big of a role their therapists played in their lives, but they only made Ella laugh, instead of making her angry. It was true, but she was becoming less ashamed of it by the day. It would probably always feel a bit like her and Jess against the world, but their world could be bigger. Help didn’t need to be an evil. She didn’t need to make survival her ultimate goal. Instead, she was working on happiness. And, of course, the antidepressants were playing a part no one could understate.

“You’re gonna make yourself carsick,” Jess warned begrudgingly, turning down the Killers song which played on the radio.

Ella rolled her eyes but didn’t look up from the essay. “You’re the one who gets carsick, Jess. I’ll be fine.”

Again, he gave a slight sigh. Sometimes, the silence could get to even him. When she was working, it was like she was on a different planet. “Whatever, Daria. Just call me the invisible man.”

“You are so clingy,” she teased off-handedly, chuckling.

He scoffed, though a blush rose hotly up his neck and to the tips of his ears. “Am not.”

“Sure, tough guy,” she quipped, then finally looked up from the midterm papers she was grading.

The current one was a pretty decent account of how Van Gogh made the most of his madness through his art. She was pretty engrossed in it, and it was almost free of her annotations. Her harsh grading style had become almost notorious with the T.A. circle at the University. But, sometimes, people really did turn in perfect work. Besides, she knew it was better to bite the bullet and give the advice. It was what the students were there for, after all. And subtlety had never been her strong suit.

For what it was worth, she was working on the drive in an attempt to have less to do once they actually reached California. The plans were to spend the week on the beach, reading and drawing, and popping into Jess’s father’s house every now and again. The visit was partially for vacation, partially an obligatory gesture. Jess hadn’t visited in so long, the guilt was starting to get to him. His father was a douchebag, but he had still welcomed Jess into his home when he didn’t have to. The gesture certainly counted for something.

Watching the darkness of the road ahead, Jess tried to keep his anxiety at bay. He had to remind himself that Ella was with him, they were older, and even more stable than they had been the last time they visited. He didn’t need to feel nervous about the trip, but the memories of his lonely months in Venice were itching at the back of his mind. Sometimes, he would give in and scratch, even if it only made things worse. He bit at his bottom lip, eyes occasionally wandering to the sky. There were stars, lots out in the heartland of America with no light pollution. And there were hardly any other cars, as the night went from evening to late. There were no concrete plans about where to stay the night, just the next decent motel they happened upon. Each time Ella suggested stopping, Jess insisted he was fine to keep driving. He wanted to get as much done as he could manage. Truthfully, he was not looking forward to the silence of the nighttime, when Ella went to sleep and he had to be alone with thoughts of his father turning over and over in his head.

“Do you hear that?” she asked after a moment, brows furrowing. With her attention away from her work, she had begun to pick up on a faint clicking sound.

“Hear what?” Jess said, broken from his anxious reverie.

“Listen,” she said, then gave a hesitant pause. Then added: “It’s getting louder.”

Jess did as she told him, turning the quiet music on the radio all the way down. Sure enough, beneath the rushing of the tires and the occasional screech they had come to tune out after years of riding in the death trap, there was a clicking. And it was getting louder, faster and faster. Then, Jess began to feel a drag in his speed and a resistance in his brakes.

.   .   .

Too tired even to work, Ella laid with her hands behind her head and stared up at the ceiling. They were somewhere in Kansas, with shitty cell reception and even shittier motels. No auto repair shop would be open until the morning, the man with the tow truck had said, but he suspected it was the engine, based on the sound they had described to him. Luckily, the man had been kind enough to drive them to the nearest 24-hour lodging. The Ambassador would sit solitary in the tow yard until the morning, when they came to bring it to whatever repair shop had the lowest prices. In all honesty, Ella was just glad they hadn’t been forced to spend the night on the side of the highway. It had taken them almost a half an hour before finally getting Ella’s cell in the right position to handle a call to information, to get the name of a towing company. The whole ordeal had been nerve-wracking, but she was feeling marginally better behind the safety of their closed motel room door. At the front desk there sat a disinterested woman with thick glasses which magnified her light eyes and a magazine open on the desk in front of her. She had told them a lost key was a $50 fee before sending them on their way with little more than a glance.

It wasn’t a shock. Jess’s car had been living on borrowed time for quite a while, anyway. Rusty and creaky and dying. Ella almost felt vindicated. Finally, her predictions had come true. She had expressed doubt when Jess had said he would be the one driving, to give her time to work and relax. He’d been encouraging her to relax more often recently, and she appreciated it. But riding passenger in the Ambassador was anything but relaxing. Ella still couldn’t believe how flabbergasted Jess had looked when he had to pull over on the side of the road, unable to drive safely with the way the gas pedal wasn’t cooperating. Ella felt a bit of foolish nostalgia at the thought of the vehicle. Another site of their youth bites the dust.

“I don’t know,” Jess sighed into his phone, running a hand down his tired face.

He’d been talking to Sasha for the last twenty minutes. It was past ten, but not the middle of the night. Jimmy, however, wasn’t available to talk apparently. Sasha had been suggesting alternative plans for them to get to California, though both Jess and Ella knew there was no way they were getting down there anytime soon if the car was as broken as they suspected. Even if it wasn’t completely dead (which it was), they’d have to wait for parts to come in. Who knew how long that would take for such an old make and model.

Eventually, Jess pushed Sasha off the phone with some muttered excuses and forced goodbyes. His head was swimming with fatigue, and he didn’t think he could deal with another second of his stepmother. Not considering how chatty and cheery she was. Putting his cell phone on the rickety nightstand next to him, he flopped down onto his back. The comforter had a faded floral pattern, but was surprisingly soft. He blew out a long breath and shut his eyes for a moment.

“So she took it well?” Ella asked flatly. She had heard Sasha’s good-natured badgering as she lay silently next to Jess.

“Oh yeah,” Jess replied. “Very understanding.”

Ella snorted a laugh and sat up again, looking down at him. She raked her fingers through his hair affectionately. He sighed again, eyes still closed. Biting at the inside of her cheek, Ella fought back a small smirk at the sight of him in the low glow of the singular bedside lamp. The night certainly hadn’t gone according to plan, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel too upset about not making it to California. She still wasn’t the biggest fan of Jimmy or the Pacific Ocean. She kept stroking his hair, eyeing his long lashes and exhausted pallor. She could tell how sleepy he was, even if he wouldn’t exactly admit the effects of driving so long.

She looked around the small room, big enough only for a queen bed, a small TV, some nightstands, and a bathroom off to the side. The rosebud wallpaper was yellowed with age and there were a few precarious stains on the beige carpet. But the air had a homey smell of dust and she decided it wasn’t the worst place they could have ended up. Fortunately, they didn’t need to find dinner, having already grabbed some takeout about an hour before the end of the Ambassador’s long, strange life.

“At least we won’t have to reconnect with that weird guy who works on the boardwalk,” Ella said, breaking the comfortable silence.

“The guy who sells the hemp hats?” Jess asked, then cracked his eyes open again. “You think he still works there?”

“I bet he’ll still be standing out there long after you and I are dead,” Ella replied.

Jess laughed. “You’re probably right.”

“Maybe I should grade more,” she said distractedly, speaking mostly to herself as her idle hands made uneasiness creep up in her stomach.

Rolling his eyes, Jess grabbed her gently around the waist and pulled her down onto the bed, guiding her head to his chest. “This is an addiction, Stevens. I’m cutting you off.”

“Yeah, well, the first step to healing is acceptance,” she quipped, placing a kiss on his t-shirt and settling in against him. For once, she decided to oblige him and sleep instead of stay up into the early hours of the morning with her red pen. Her therapist had also suggested doing work in moderation.

Jess chuckled breathily. “It’s true.” Then, after a moment: “I think I’m honestly more upset about the car than not getting to go visit daddy dearest.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured.”

“Oh, am I that transparent?” he deadpanned.

“Like a glass house, Mariano,” she teased. “I guess it is the end of an era.”

He nodded. “Yeah. No more weird cigarette burns on the ceiling.”

She laughed. One of the only nights in high school she had ever gotten stoned, Jess had picked her up from her house by surprise, throwing pebbles at her window. He found her eyes red-rimmed and glassy, her cheeks flushed, and her mind spacey. All she’d wanted to do was drive around and smoke cigarettes and listen to Joy Division. At the time, she hadn’t told him about the blowout fight with her father and Fiona. Not until the next morning over breakfast in the diner. When she’d accidentally burned the ceiling of the car with her cigarette, leaving a dark circle, she’d started tearing up. In response, Jess lit a cigarette of his own and pressed it to the ceiling without hesitation, unphased.

Smiling at the memory, she threw an arm over his waist. “And no more barrette stuck in the window crank that won’t come out no matter how fucking hard I try.”

Jess snorted a laugh. After the Arctic Monkeys concert they’d attended the previous summer, they’d had sex in the backseat. One of her barrettes had somehow ended up eternally wedged in the window crank. The next day, she’d taken a pair of pliers to it fruitlessly. Jess had teased her, the woman who prided herself on being able to fix anything, mercilessly, ever since.

“And about a million other ‘no mores.’ Who knows what’ll happen in our next car,” he said.

“Only time will tell,” she muttered through a yawn. “I love you, James Dean.”

“Love you back,” he replied.

A gentle click sounded in the cozy quiet as Jess shut off the lamp. Getting comfortable again, he ran a hand up and down over her back and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. Then, he bit at his bottom lip, and his mind flashed to the small red box in this duffel. With the thin gold ring, a tiny amethyst in the middle. He’d bought it months ago, on a random trip to some antique shop with Chris, and he had a few ideas in mind. He hadn’t nailed down a real proposal plan yet, but took it with to California just in case. It had been wishful thinking, of course, since California was neither of their favorite places. And they weren’t going to make it there anyway. Still, it was there. It was happening. He just didn’t know when. It made his insides feel fluttery and excited and almost sick with nerves. But, for now, he decided getting the fuck out of Kansas would be the first step.

Dozing, Ella let her mind wander again to their teenage years. She felt her heart ache with sentimentality, and then brushed it off. Not because she wanted to ignore the feeling, but because all of a sudden she didn’t feel it. She didn’t need to miss Jess when he was right next to her. She didn’t need to worry about the past. Let yourself have a middle. Lorelai’s words reappeared in her mind, soft and comforting.

“Jess?” she asked, voice beginning to grow rough with sleep.

“Hmmm?” he hummed, and she felt the word vibrating in her ear against his chest.

“Do you think that lady at the front desk is gonna go all Normal Bates on us?” she asked.

He sighed, but then it turned into a laugh. “No, Daria, I don’t think so.”

“I bet that’s what Jant Leigh thought too,” she replied, all too serious.

Jess kept his smirk. “Just call me Marion Crane, then.”

She giggled, then was quiet for another moment. Jess slipped his hand beneath her t-shirt and began rubbing small circles on her skin. Usually, she fell asleep within a couple minutes of laying down. Apparently, something was eating at her.

“I think I’m gonna take that job at the University for next year,” she spoke again suddenly.

“Really?” he asked, smirk turning to a small, genuine smile.

“Yeah,” she said, almost shyly. “I’ll have time for actually making some damn art, but I’ll still have a steady income, good benefits...ugh do I sound like a middle-aged tragedy?”

“No,” he said, reassurance in his tone. “I think it’s gonna be great, Eleanor. Seriously.”

“I just...I think I’ll be happy doing it.”

“I do too,” he said, kissing her hair once more. “Congratulations, Stevens.”

“Thanks,” she said with a nervous chuckle, blushing a bit. “And I’ll have that whole sexy professor thing going for me, which is a plus.”

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Hello Internet, welcome to GAME THEORY, where instead of putting a joke here I want to ask you a question. It's time to talk UNDERTALE.

Now I don't think I've ever gotten this many requests to cover a theory, (no requests times no requests is still no requests.) Anyway, across my tumblr dashboard, NO ONE has asked for this. And honestly, I'm disappointed. True loyal theorists will know that Undertale is my favorite game of all time.

Undertale is a game where every character, from goat mom to grind fodder has a sympathetic design and a unique personality, motivations, goals, fears. Whether you're saving or slaughtering them, the game makes you feel something every time you enter an encounter. But to me, one character stood out amongst all the rest. SANS. A skeleton named after the font, Comic Sans. ANYWAYS, Sans is, well, there's a lot of mystery around this guy. And before we get into it, let me put up a very special spoiler warning: UNDERTALE is a game best experienced blind. So if you haven't played it, pause your reading of this and come back after you've finished. I PROMISE YOU, I PROMISE you won't regret it. Alright, so everyone out of the pool and ready for the adult swim? Good. Because I'm feeling pretty determined to get to the bottom of Sans' mystery. So just to recap for those of you who haven't played the game and ignored the SPOILER WARNING, or just need a refresher, Sans is one of the two skeletal brothers who appears in the game. His partner is Papyrus, a loud, goofy trap lover also named after a font. But in the world of Undertale their origins are a big question mark. All you really know is what's given to us by a shopkeeper in Snowdin, who explains that Sans and Papyrus, quote, “just showed up one day and asserted themselves.” Weird, right? What's more is that, well, Papyrus is just kinda the goofy sidekick. Sans is much more complex.

He likes fart jokes, but he's also incredibly powerful and deadly serious. Not only is his boss battle the hardest in the game, he's one of the only characters who has knowledge and power over space and time. He can take shortcuts around the world through ridiculous routes. Even is walking through walls. He also acknowledges that he's only one of infinite versions of himself, making self-aware commentary of the various timelines that you've played through in the game. He can even count the number of times he's killed you. He acts like an arbiter of this world, passing out judgements on the player's actions in the game, even explaining the secrets of EXP and LOVE, or EXECUTION POINTS and LEVELS OF VIOLENCE, just to clarify. In short, he just doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the world of monsters. But then, what, or who, is he? Well, the idea that he doesn't belong in the underworld seems to be correct.

The evidence seems to point to the fact that he WAS, in fact, formerly a surface dweller. In the true pacifist ending of the game, as the group looks out onto the horizon, Papyrus asks Sans about the giant ball in the sky. Sans says, quote, “we call that the sun.” This is important because A, the usage of the word WE, and knowledge of the sun shows that Sans has a kinship or knowledge with other humans, and B, that despite he and Papyrus both being skeletons, or, supposedly, brothers, and apparently appeared in underworld at the same time, they CLEARLY have two very different histories. Why would Papyrus not know the name of the sun but Sans would?

We get further clues to Sans' origins as we hear him say multiple times he wants to "go home" or "go back." He says as much during his dinner date scene at the Mettaton hotel. He notices that the player wants to go home and says, quote, "I know the feeling." He then continues, "maybe sometimes it's better to take what's given to you." As though he ended up in the underworld by accident. AND in a genocide run during his boss fight he says, quote, "look, I gave up trying to go back a long time ago." End quote. And before you say he means going back to the surface world, that's clearly not the full story. His very next line of dialogue is, "and getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore either." Key word here is “EITHER.” Yes, he seems to hail from the surface and wants to go back, but based on his dialogue he no longer considers it his home. It's as though the surface world he once knew is gone, as though he's from a different time. It's pretty intriguing. So we're left with a being that appeared out of nowhere, presumably from being from the human surface, but from a different time period, who seemingly has the power to teleport. That's a lot of questions and not a lot of answers.

But here's where things get REALLY interesting. Sans has a hidden workshop that takes a fair amount of searching to find. You could say it takes a lot of DETERMINATION to unlock. Anyways, obligatory determination references aside, as you start to look for this easter egg Sans gives you a key to his room and says "it's time you learn the truth." After some searching you find the workshop which contains items that leave even more questions. A photo album featuring Sans and a bunch of smiling people you don't recognize, a badge, blueprints with illegible handwriting, and a broken machine hidden behind a curtain. In the latest update, one more detail was added. A hand-drawn picture of 3 smiling faces with the words “don't forget.”

So, what does it all mean? Well a lot of Undertale theorists have been linking these details to a feature to a character named W.D Gaster. A ghostly character who never truly appears in the game. Honestly, covering him is a theory all unto itself, and probably one best saved for another day. Even still, none of the Gaster theories I've seen have been able to explain all the details. In particular, the photo album, and the badge. And that's what kept nagging me as I researched Undertale. A badge? That one in particular really stuck out to me. Why would such an oddly specific item to be hidden in the huge easter egg of a room? Something that supposedly reveals the truth about Sans? Badges just aren't important in Undertale. Then it hit me. What if this badge isn't from Undertale? What if this badge is from a completely different series? And was, in fact, the most important badge in the history of gaming? One of the Iskall patreon badges.

Now, for those of you wondering what I'm talking about, the Iskall Patreon Badges are a pivotal item from Iskall’s patreon. You know, the one on Hermitcraft. Anyway, the Iskall Patreon Badges are a really important part of Iskall’s character. So I asked myself; what if the badge in Sans' drawer was ONE OF THOSE EXACT badges? Well first off, it made Undertale connected to my favorite youtuber, thereby making it even COOLER, but that's still a pretty big logical leap. I needed more. Let me tell you, as I started looking, more and more pieces started to fit into place.

In Hermitcraft Season 6, there are three Architechs. (This was before Stress joined in season 7.) These 3 were Iskall, Grian and MumboJumbo. And what does Sans happen to have in his other drawer? A photo album with pictures of Sans with people you don't recognize. Of course you don't know them, they're not characters present in Undertale. And note the word that's used here, PEOPLE you don't recognize. Not underworld monsters. So that's 2 items oddly linked to the Hermitcraft series.

But then, how do the blueprints and broken machine fit in? Well, in the final stretch of Hermitcraft, Iskall is the only one who hasn’t died since the Demise game, so he sells his own body to the highest bidder. Except, it comes with a cost. Everyone is poor. As a result, and with the help of ImpulseSV, the Architechs (minus Mumbo,) are forced to finally kill Iskall, ending his streak since the beginning of demise. I watched this episode in 2020 and I'm not ashamed to admit that when I first saw this scene, I cried. It's DEVASTATING.

Iskall says goodbye to his friends, his co-workers, this character you've grown to love and care about is suddenly promising to sacrifice his life. For all he knows, there is no possibility of him being able to come back after his Demise. It's this incredibly dark departure in the final moments of what was otherwise a fun, quirky, and colorful Season 6.

So what does all of this have to do with Undertale? A LOT, actually. But the first thing you need to know is that the hermits are known for their, let's say, unique written linguistic style.

That would explain the illegible handwriting on the blueprints. And the machine? I think a broken infinity portal is behind that curtain. Now that may seem like a stretch, but it actually explains a lot.

If Sans wound up in Undertale via whacky infinity portal hyjinx, it could provide a reason for why he's a skeleton. He used the machine as organic matter and suffered the consequences. Not killing him, but turning at least a part of him into a pile of bones. That could also explain why Sans has given up hope for going home. Remember the infinity portal is a time machine. By being in the underworld, he's not only in a different place, but based on how he talks, he's also in a different time, with no hope of travelling back to the time he came from. This could theoretically happen. It turned Scar into a wizard and completely disintegrated Welsknight, so the rules are… Flimsy at best.

But the crossovers between Hermitcraft and Undertale continue. In Grian’s episode, (EDIT IN TIMESTAMP) he mentions he’s amazed that Iskall only escaped his demise with a lost arm. He says Iskall had “a lot of determination to not die for real,” and that he’s going to continue to study this. Seems awfully similar to the same experiments happening in Undertale around the trait of determination, no? Especially since so much has shown that Sans was a key player in those experiments.

But I'm sure you also want physical evidence right? Well don't worry, because I have plenty. Take a look at Iskall and Sans side by side. Iskall’s left eye is replaced with a diamond loupe. Sans’ left eye glows blue when he’s mad. Both have extremely chill yet are known for their jokes and, dare I say, laugh.

In short, we have some incredibly strong proof that the Hermitcraft Cinematic Universe, (HCU) is somehow connected to the Undertale world, which brings us back to our initial question, WHO IS SANS?

Well, what if we took it one final step and said that Sans happened to be Iskall from Hermitcraft? Sent through the Infinity Portal at the end of season 6 to go to Season 7, carrying an Iskall Patreon Badge and his photo album. Not only do all the items in the workshop suddenly fit, but so does Sans’ behavior.

Remember, Sans can seemingly travel extremely quickly. And Iskall just happens to have an elytra, a device that allows people to travel hundreds of metres extremely quickly. This even explains why Sans bleeds when you finally hit him. He is, or at least, WAS, a human.

Oh and finally, Sans shares two out of five letters with the name Iskall. That's just a fun one. I thought it was worth mentioning.

But if there was any doubt, we have to look no further than the creator's previous work. Toby Fox, the man behind Undertale is actually DocM77, the creator of every hermit (besides Scar.) Now, if Toby Fox, the creator of Undertale, is also DocM77, creator of Iskall, we know they will most definitely share a universe. Which brings us back to Undertale. 2 faces, with “don't forget” written on it? It's Iskall, trying to remember his 2 friends. In short, Undertale is a continuation of Toby’s version of Hermitcraft Season 6, with Iskall never being able to get home, adopting the name Sans. The pieces all just seem to fit. Now all we need is an appearance from Ethoslab and we’ve got ourselves a true sequel.

But hey, that's just a theory. A GAME THEORY! THANKS FOR WATCHING!

[commentaryvorg]

Anonymous asked:

Hi! I finally finished reading through your DRV3 playthrough, which was great. In particular, I think your stance on the executions is interesting? I’ve never heard of a DR fan disliking them before. Could you maybe elaborate on that for me?

Thanks for reading the commentary! It's so lovely to still see people who are willing to slog their way through this whole ridiculously long thing.

As for the executions, it's pretty much just what I said while commenting on the ones in chapters 1 and 4: that it bothers me when executions forget that the character is a character and treat them basically just like an object to be horribly killed.

How much I dislike versus like an execution tends to line up pretty directly with the sliding scale of how much the victim is portrayed as an object versus as a character still having an interesting narrative. It just feels tasteless and disrespectful to the character if they spend their final moments as essentially a faceless puppet in some twisted glorified deathtrap rather than as themselves. I get that this kind of callousness is what Monokuma and the masterminds are like, of course - but for some executions, it feels like the narrative is also treating the blackened this way. The rest of the time, the narrative focuses, as it should, on the characters and how they deal with and try to fight back against Monokuma's flippant disregard for their lives, so it shouldn't stop doing so for (some of) the executions.

That's me trying to dissect this on an objective narrative level, but a lot of it's also just down to my completely subjective personal tolerance for this kind of thing. The executions are generally the most horrifying things that happen onscreen, by quite a fair margin compared to everything else. My threshold of tolerance for violent and horrifying things in fiction happened to be safely above everything else that happens in these games but just a little bit below the executions, such that I comfortably watched through most of DR1 and DR2 but had to skip the executions because I just couldn't. And I didn't miss much! Most of the time, all you need to know is "and then the blackened died horribly and everyone was horrified". (Though, as I said, I grew desensitised to the executions eventually through familiarity, and now they are below my threshold and I can watch them - I didn't skip over any when watching V3 for the first time - but the ones with less of a meaningful narrative going on are definitely creeping a lot closer to that line.)

You sound almost kind of surprised to hear that I feel this way, which in itself is a notion that's somewhat surprising to me. I feel it's quite reasonable that not every Danganronpa fan necessarily has to like the executions just by virtue of being a Danganronpa fan. They're a very distinctively Danganronpa thing, sure, but, ultimately, they're not what Danganronpa is about. They don't have to be part of why I'm here.

I like Danganronpa because I enjoy seeing fictional characters fighting through awful situations, snapping under pressure and doing terrible things for painfully human reasons, which the killing game setup facilitates plenty of. But people being killed in horrifyingly ludicrous ironic deathtraps isn't necessary for that. The fact that they get executed is an important part of the killing game that's stressing everyone out, sure, but not the methods. If some fans dig the creative execution methods too, cool - I'm not saying they can't! - and then that's an extra thing they can like about Danganronpa. But it's just not the main point.

(Like, as another more extreme example of this idea: the tiresome levels of fanservice and SEXUAL INNUENDOS EVERYWHERE are apparently also something that Danganronpa insists on having be a part of its brand. That also absolutely should not be expected to be what I'm here for. I came here to see high-schoolers being pressured and manipulated into murdering each other; I did not need this nonsense. It's quite reasonable for me to be a Danganronpa fan who nonetheless could really rather do without this particular part of it, is it not?)

I'm willing to wager I'm not the only one who feels roughly this way and that there's at least a small portion of DR fans who also aren't hugely fond of most of the executions. Said people probably just don't talk about it that much, because they'd rather talk about the parts they do like instead of being negative about something they know is an obligatory Danganronpa thing. I'd never have mentioned this either if not for the fact that I did this commentary in which I expressed my thoughts on pretty much everything in the game.

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 165

Chapter Summary -Tom and Danielle go to Suffolk for their second anniversary as a couple. While there, Tom realises that Danielle has already gotten started on some of the wedding plans which results in them setting a date.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

Copyright for the photo is the owners, not mine. All image rights belong to their owners

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @damalseer​ @hiddlesbitch1​ @winterisakiller​ @fairlightswiftly​ @salempoe​ @wolfsmom1​ @black-ninja-blade​

Danielle bit her lips together as she felt herself reach her peak, forcing herself to not grip Tom’s hair too tightly as he made her feel so good. She gasped as the final waves of her orgasm were joined by a kiss that was given to her core before Tom crawled over her body, smiling cheekily as he came face to face with her. “I love you,” She smiled, feeling worn from their activities. “As I love you, my beautiful Elle.” He leant down and kissed her, not overly surprised when she leant up and deepened the kiss. “You are well and truly back to form,” He smirked as he forced their lips apart for a moment.

“Three times since we got here, that’s not bad by any accounts,” Danielle agreed.

They had decided to spend their second anniversary in Suffolk, away from the crowds of London and spending time with Diana. Tom brought Danielle for a lovely meal in Manzoni’s, the restaurant that led to the awkward first kiss of theirs and afterwards, insisted on kissing her on the doorstep, though this time, the kiss did not end there and he ensured she had an incredibly pleasurable evening after. Of late, after recovering from her Ironman, Danielle’s libido seemed to go back to her pre-training and pre-maternal urge norm, much to hers and indeed Tom’s delight.

The next morning led to slight bouts of sloth on their behalf before amourous attentions once more, leading them to almost lunchtime before they forcibly extracted themselves from the bed.

They were drinking tea as their porridge cooked when Diana knocked on the back door and entered. “Finally up, I see.” “We are embracing the holiday feeling,” Tom smirked back, going to the pot of tea they had decided would be a better idea to make and poured her a cup.

“How was Manzoni’s?” “That new chef you mentioned was working, you’re right, it’s even better now, somehow,” Danielle commented from the cooker.

“He is good, isn’t he?” Diana smiled. “So, have you two started talking properly yet?” Tom chuckled at his mother. “Are you just here to badger us about it?” “The sooner you plan it, the sooner it is planned.”

“You sound like Danielle when she is talking about her safety stuff.” Tom eyed his fiance warily as he said that. She gave him a warning glance with a slight smirk with it.

“And?” “We have decided on Ireland, in Elle’s parish church from her childhood. She explained it holds a really important place in her family and it is small and quaint and away from prying eyes. It will be lovely, so it makes a lot of sense.”

“How small?” “The maximum capacity is about a hundred plus people, nothing extravagant,” Danielle explained. “Doing approximate numbers for the church part of things, we are looking at around thirty under capacity but that’s good because we know we’re forgetting a few people.”

“Right, names are important, have you a list started?” “No,” Tom looked awkwardly.

Danielle left the room for a moment before returning with the backpack she had received for her Ironman, taking out a notepad she had in it. “I have all of my side and friends done. I have started your side too, but I know there is an aunt or uncle somewhere missing because the numbers aren’t right and I would wager you have a friend from school you will think to invite.”

Tom looked at her shocked at the organisation she had clearly put into the page of names, making notes who they were and of any conflicts, some may have, mostly referencing her aunt Bernie. “I...I was going to say I’m surprised, but no, how could I be, this is you through and through.

Danielle laughed at him. “I also took note that we will have to arrange buses from the airports and spoke to the local B&B, they will book out the dates of our choosing for us, if we give them a date soon, so I also called the parish office and got the dates the church is free on the timeline we are looking at, so we have to arrange that. I think we will have to go over a week or two in advance to ready the last of everything and for the marriage course, of course. Though, I booked that and flights for January, that gives time for your other commitments, Ace Con and whatnot.” She explained.

Tom simply stared at her in shock. He had asked had she looked into one or two things, thinking that perhaps she would begin preparation, he had not thought for one second she would be so thorough so quickly. “I...I feel somewhat unprepared in all of this.” “Course, what course?” Diana asked curiously.

“In Ireland, I am not sure if it is the same here, if you want to marry in a Catholic Church, you have to do a marriage course with Accord, it’s like this religious church-related family service, so I booked that. It’s nothing really, just preparing you for down the road, times of trouble, if you want kids, the usual marriage stuff. It’s more a box-ticking exercise really, though if you haven’t talked about this stuff before now or you haven’t had bad patches, are you really ready for marriage?” Danielle questioned.

“I think they are becoming something here, not obligatory, mind.”

“Well, they are at home and with our schedules, I thought it a good idea to plan it for then.” “What is on the cards to say you are both busy for that?” Diana asked curiously, always eager to know what her children were doing workwise. “I have a few things I will be involved in, going a few places, nothing too long, quick stops around Europe,” Danielle informed her. “Usually three to five day things and paperwork in between. And a trip to the US for a meeting or two, obviously.”

Diana nodded, knowing that there would be some form of plan such as this already before looking to her son. “I am doing a stint in one of Harold Pinter’s plays in London, Betrayal, as the name suggests, it is not the most cheerful of work but an interesting piece,” He explained.

“And are you the betrayer or the betrayed?” She asked curiously.

“I play the poor betrayed husband,” Tom pouted as he spoke.

“So plenty of confused and angry fans after this,” Danielle joked.

“I am glad you enjoy my torture.” Danielle stuck her tongue out at him playfully, causing him to chuckle. “I guess we better book a date so while we have a chance.”

“I guess we should.” A thought occurred to Tom. “What about that B&B?” “What do you mean?” “Well, they will have the dates.”

“Tom, I warned you before, Irish people are not the least bit bothered by this sort of thing and there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that a local run B&B from my hometown, with kids that went to school with me, who have used my dad’s vet practice since before I was born are going to give my wedding dates to some foreign shites trying to make money off us.”

“You are putting a lot of faith in people that you have not known really for at least a decade,” Tom warned, having had more than one person he thought he could trust show that his trust had been poorly placed in the past.

“It’s a way of life in Connemara and indeed most of the non-city areas of Ireland. You say nothing and deny all knowledge of other people’s business to non-locals, as I said it's a local family business and if they can't look after the locals, well, Ireland is the place that coined the phrase ‘boycott’. It's one thing to talk among ourselves but to outsiders, that's just not done.”

“So, you would threaten them?”

“Ironically, it would not be me or putting them as I don't live there anymore, it will be those local people that they call their friends, the local GAA people, the lads that went to the pub with my dad, the women that went to the dances with Mam. It’s just an unwritten rule you don't embarrass yourself or your family and you definitely do not bring a bad name to the parish. Whatever about the generation I'm from but my dad's generation, Mr O'Leary and his wife, they never would risk her name or insult their family in such a manner,” Danielle explained. “Sometimes the anonymity of the city has its advantages though, growing up we always knew what our neighbours were doing but at the same time we were always there for one another when it was needed.”

“Will they have a problem with those coming from England for it?” Tom asked.

“Why would they? We're bringing them paying customers, we’re not there to bother anyone. We don't automatically just decide to hate all British people, that's not an economically sound practice. We are just mildly suspicious as a default setting which is healthy really, all things considered.”

Tom knew before he even saw her face that Danielle was sticking out her tongue at her own playful comment. “Behave,” He warned her, his own playful smile evident. “What dates are available? The sooner I tell Luke the better.” Danielle went to the page where she had put all of the information the parish secretary has provided her with. Tom studied the dates as well as taking out his phone and checking the calendar and within 40 seconds, he placed an ‘X’ beside three of the dates.

“Are they the ones that are acceptable or are they ‘the never gonna happen’ dates?” Danielle asked curiously as she looked at the dates he had put the “x's” next to, all three were not dates that she could think of for particular reasons as being an issue.

“The latter.”

“Okay,  so we work off the rest.”

“What about you, are you available every one of these dates?” Tom asked, doubtful that Danielle could be free for the entirety of the summer.

“The ones I was not available for, which were two dates, I didn't even write down. One is the all branch AGM, and the other is my mother’s anniversary. I know she would want me to get married but I could probably pretty much guarantee that she would not appreciate me doing so on her anniversary.” “No, that goes without saying,” Tom agreed. He looked over the dates a little bit more, Danielle noticed that he checked his phone for a moment before putting an ‘X’ beside another date. As soon as she looked at it she realised which date it was, she laughed. Tom looked at her worried as to a reaction. Seeing her laugh, he decided to check verbally. “You don't mind?”

“Not at all. I don't think it bodes well to take one of your favourite days of sport in the year from you,” She laughed. “And it's the height of the GAA season, so I can guarantee there won't be a single pub, hotel bar or restaurant that will be showing that over whatever GAA fixture is on for the day.” She tussles hair as she spoke.

Tom took her hand and put it to his lips, kissing it gently at her respect for his favourite sports day. “If it was the only viable day?”

“You said it does not suit you and there are six other days that are free and available, it's a non-issue.” She looked at the dates again. “If we choose the date before that takes place, I would assume, unless we go on a honeymoon of six days, that does not suit either. So how about, this one?” She pointed to the weekend after the final. “That way you can watch it or go and we can be to Ireland after?” “But you said you want to come over a fortnight in advance?” “I’m sure you can slip away for a weekend.”

“No, it's too close and I'm not leaving everything to you.” Tom looked at the dates that came after if he was honest, he thought them too far away. So instead, he looked at the only other available date before. “How about the June date?” Danielle looked at the piece of paper for a moment. “That’s only eight months away. Jesus, that's a terrifying thought. Has it really been 3 months since you asked me?”

“Time flies when you're having fun.” Tom beamed. “If it's too close then that's fine.” “No, let's go with that one.” Tom looked up at her. “Elle, if you want to take time to think about it.” Danielle’s response was not to argue but to instead to take out her phone, scroll through the contacts and bring up the number she needed. “I think June to be the best.” She showed him the number she was about to ring and when he gave a small nod she pressed the call button.

It only took three minutes between the secretary answering the phone and Danielle pressing the end call button. “It’s official, we are booked for June.” Danielle looked at Tom, who seemed somewhat shocked. “Second thoughts already?” “No, I just...In eight months, we’ll be…” Tom could barely compute what was happening. After all his planning, with all his thoughts on it, there was a date set to legally marry Danielle. It was almost unfathomable. “I can’t believe we have a date set.” He rose to his feet and leant in and kissed her. “Eight months will be an incredibly long and yet short time.” “With work, with plays and meetings, sets and meet and greets, we won’t see it pass by. It is strange to think, but by the time we book a reception, hotels and whatnot, by the time Emma and Jack organise a passport for Lucy and everything, eight months is nothing.” Tom frowned. “I thought you don’t need a passport to go to Ireland. I used my driving licence one weekend to get into Dublin for High Rise.” “You don’t under the Common Travel Area and all that but come Brexit, who knows, they already applied, just in case.” “I guess we will all need to be sure.” Diana took note to check her own when she went back to her own house. She beamed proudly at having urged her son and her future daughter-in-law into actually setting a date. “I will leave you to eat and do a few things. Don’t forget to book a venue next.” She instructed as she left.

With quick goodbyes, Danielle started thinking. “I genuinely cannot think of too many. I suppose if you want to be fancy, there is always Kylemore Abbey?”

Tom Googled the place and his brows rose. “It’s beautiful.” “Of course it is, it’s in Connemara, we don’t do things by halves.” She smiled, looking at the picture in front of them of the building. “It is only from the 1860s but it is beautiful, nonetheless.” “And they take weddings?” “For the right price, they will be more than happy to facilitate whatever we ask. The question becomes, are we willing to pay such prices?” Tom suspected that there would be a chance that Danielle would have an issue with such things. He had considered how to approach it but now was the best time. “Elle, Darling, I m not sure how often you are planning on doing this but I am very much only considering the once so we will do this right.”

“I just don’t want to waste money.” “Is it wasting it for us to have a lovely wedding day?” “It’s one day, I don’t…” Danielle inhaled deeply. Her fiance was a renowned actor and she knew that came with more money than sense. “Just nothing too insane.” “Elle, don’t force yourself into budgets. We are not going to do anything mad, even the ring is a family heirloom, we are not extravagant spenders, so if the hotel costs a bit, then fine. I doubt you plan on some mad dress.”

Danielle scoffed, “Valentino, Darling,” She impersonated the accentuated Cruella De Vil accent as she spoke. “Just a hundred thousand.”

Tom chuckled and shook his head. “If you wanted.” Danielle stared at him in horror. “Are you insane?”

“I just want you to be happy.” “Tom, here and now, I m saying this. This whole thing is not going to come within an ass’s roar of that sort of money. No, not happening. I will call it off it does.” “Looks like I found the ‘Get out of Jail Free’ Card.” Tom jested, rushing out of her reach before she could nudge him in retaliation. When she went over to him, he pulled her in against him. “How did I manage to find you, a sensible, beautiful, intelligent woman like you?”

“A sacrifice to an old God or two, I think.”

“Very possible.” He leant down and kissed her, wanting her to feel how intensely he loved her from it.

Pictures of Kylemore Abbey for reference

[gender-chaotic]

Yknow i love me nasty, smelly, gross, asshole beej as well as him being redeemed, loving and being a big softie for his new found family, over all making him a big softer.

I want a nice healthy dose of both when it comes to beej and i wont deny when people clean him up and look him look thin and conventionally attractive/sexy it does really annoy me, but certain people in this fandom are acting like canon musical beej is this big weak baby who canonically woobified from the other versions of beej because people in the fandom are woobifying themselves. Yeah musical beej is still nicer, more sympathetic, softer in this canonically he still is disgusting, smells, looks gross, is a pervert constantly making dirty jokes flirting/harassing with adults, attempted to murder multiple people. If you dont like the musical fine, cool, you have a right to and im sure there are valid reasons to not like it, even as a fan i can see why people might now like it, but some of these takes of the musical and musical beej himself are pretty bad and some of the same people prefer cartoon and/or movie beej.

I dunno about you guys but cartoon beej is literally just the spooky version if the genie from Aladdin or cosmo and wanda i know people have compared musical beej so these things but cartoon beej is literally a children's version of beetlejuice. Of course in his universe He's still dangerous and a pretty bad/nasty guy i mean he's universally hated in the neitherworld but he just like musical beej he's clingy, emotional, soft for the few people he cares about, lonely, ect. The cartoon and cartoon beej himself are way more divorced from the movie canon than the musical is tbh.

Musical Beej is basically a fusion of movie and cartoon beej and you can boo me but im right and its strange to me how people complain about musical beej ruined beej or whatever because he's softer and a little more sympathetic despite the fact he literally shares quite a few traits with movie and cartoon beej. Obligatory not every verson of a character is going to be the sane and changing things up keeps things fresh. Sometimes its really really bad but musical beej seems like the best parts of movie and musical beej with a few new ideas to shake things up and as someone who is a abit older in the fandom and who grew up with both movie and cartoon beej and love them both as well as mucial beej i like what they did with the musical and how they portrayed him.

The fandom and younger fans maybe be woobifying and babying beej but actual canonical Musical beej is still a disgusting, nasty, asshole and making him a but nicer, softer,sweeter, ect. Wont ruin his completely as long as you can do it right and now infantilize and woobify him too much. I think some of these people have some actually good criticisms about musical beej and the musical and again if you don't like the musical fine but theres a difference between fanon and canon interpretation and i think some of these bad takes about musical beej comes from a place of bias.

Lastly just like you don't have to like the musical and musical beej people are allowed to dislike the movie and movie beej as well as the cartoon and cartoon beej. I want everyone to give all 3 canons and beej's love and appreciation including the older canons but people are allowed to dislike certain beej's or certain canons it doesn't make them some kind of "tourist" or "fake fan" its their preference i love all 3 but some people don't and thanks okay.

Edit: oops sorry one last thing. conventionally attractive, bishie, completely woobyfied does suck but stop acting like this is new I've seen people draw beej like this back in middle school back when i used to search deviant art for beetlejuice art. The musical is attracting more people so of course you're gonna see it more and condensed in one place since alot of the fandom hangs out in the same few sites. Not to mention acting like all new fans/musical fans are woobyfing beej or ok with doing this stuff is just wrong i see plenty of these fans making nasty, dirty, gross beej warts and all you just gotta find the right content .

[theteaisaddictive]

okay but you can't just tease us with a wedding meme mentioning ejts in the tags. spill :D

ask and ye shall receive my dear :D

1) Who proposes? 2) How do they propose? 3) Reaction of the one being proposed to

in the middle of the chaos post-transformation, belle probably whispers to eve that she never wants to leave her side again. 

‘i know, i know,’ eve whispers. ‘i remember. i’ll never leave you again.’

‘no, i-’ belle says. ‘i mean, i want to stay with you forever’, and she drops to one knee right there on the newly-constructed balcony, still strewn with rose petals and the rosy-fingered dawn. she holds out her left hand palm-up. ‘do you?’

eve joins her kneeling on the ground, her legs still shaking from the transformation. she takes her hand, her eyes almost shockingly large now that they’re in a human face. ‘yes. yes. yes, belle, dearest, of course.’ she leans over and they kiss.

they kiss for quite a while. 

4) How they tell the others

chip, of course, asks as soon as the general excitement levels have gone down, ‘are they gonna get married?’

the senior staff all glance at each other wondering who’s going to have to finally teach this emblem of hope for the future about homophobia, but before the silence can get more than half a step beyond natural, eve chimes in with an ‘of course we are, chip. in fact, belle asked me not twenty minutes ago and i said yes.’

while mrs potts is relieved that eve is human again and that she’s no longer cold and cruel-hearted, she notices a certain fire in eve’s eyes that came straight from her father – the stubbornness which means she’s going to get her own way come hell or high water. it used to apply to hunting, and petty matters of daily life. mrs potts is proud to see it used to marry belle. 

(marie doesn’t find out that they’re married for … a while. how long an interval it’s going to be? haven’t decided yet.)

5) Who’d they choose as ring bearer

chip, of course! who else?

6) Who’s the one that spends the most time worrying about preps for the wedding?

surprisingly, there isn’t actually a lot of time to prep for the wedding. neither of them have much of a taste for fancy celebrations and would prefer a simple ceremony, so that’s what they choose. (but yes, eve does manage to get her bee in a bonnet regardless)

7) When they go looking for their outfits

it’s less ‘looking for outfits’ and more ‘repurposing old ones’. belle would be more than happy to just wear her best blue dress, but even though eve had a transformative experience shaped by queer love, she’s adamant that belle has a new, different dress she’s never worn before for the ceremony (so belle is in basically the celebration dress from the remake, and eve is in essentially ella’s wedding dress from the 2015 film but minus the train. yes i am trash. no i refuse to apologise.)

IMAGINE THESE BLUSHING BRIDES. ALSO YOU WILL HAVE TO IMAGINE THEM AGAIN FOR ROSES AND LAVENDER BUT PRETEND FOR A MOMENT THAT LILY JAMES IS PORTRAYING A GENDER-SWAPPED BEAST HERE AND NOT CINDERELLA

8) Fusses over the other before the wedding day

they’re both very concerned about each other and it’s very sweet. they both stay up the night before the wedding in the library, keeping close together as midnight approaches. belle rubs her fingers soothingly against eve’s head and intermittently finger-combs her hair, and eve absent-mindedly runs her hand in circles over belle’s back as they talk quietly about tomorrow. 

9) Reactions to their wedding attire

ok so how i picture it is that since neither of them have people to give them away (léon and cogsworth offered their services, but both women declined), they mirror the ballroom scene so their first glimpses of each other are as they go down the stairs to the landing before descending to the ballroom proper. both of them almost stop in their tracks because of how BEAUTIFUL and RADIANT and HAPPY the other looks to be marrying HER. eve cries two tiny tears before she even reaches the landing. 

10) Who whispers the other “you look great”

belle to eve. they’re holding hands as they walk towards the servants, lefou and stanley, wait why are those two there what plot points will they be relevant to and léon

11) How are they feeling during vows

nervous as all fuck. jittery. excited. overjoyed. eve actually does start to cry during her vows. belle doesn’t, but she gets very, very close. 

12) What do their rings look like?

simple, thin gold bands. they wear them on their right hands. 

13) The kiss

the vows are exchanged. the rings placed. cogsworth looks at eve, whom he’s known and loved for the best part of a decade. ‘and now, by the power invested in me by the princess of this realm, i declared you to be married. you may now kiss the bride.’

belle smiles so wide that it hurts her cheeks, and she and eve take a step forwards at the same time. eve sweeps her into the kiss, one hand resting on her waist while the other cups belle’s neck. belle rests her own hand on the plane of eve’s back, allowing her other hand to brush eve’s shoulder as she kisses her wife. and for a moment in that kiss, it’s like their first up on the balcony – uncertain and desperately tender. eve breaks to take a breath, and belle pulls her back in for another kiss, their lips moving gently as the gathered congregation cheers. because they kissed. because they’re married. because eve is her wife.

14) What do they whisper to each other after vows?

nothing. they just look at each other. they’ve already said everything. 

15) When cutting their cake, and afterwards

the wedding breakfast is basically a garden party in the grounds with the staff and aforementioned guests. there is enough food and cake and drinks for everyone, and as the afternoon fades into the evening the mood goes from bright and joyous to quietly happy, but in that way where the amount of emotion present is the same it’s just expressed differently if that makes any kind of sense. both brides make speeches, and both begin their speech with ‘on behalf of my wife and i …’ (they had to make lumiere flip a coin bc they both wanted to go first but didn’t want to take the chance away from the other and it was halfway to becoming one of those stupid fights that in a sitcom would be the episode one cliffhanger of the wedding two-parter, but luckily lumiere was in possession of the throuple’s two brain cells that morning so he managed to de-escalate the situation.) belle went first, but the line got the obligatory cheer from the guests both times. 

16) The two dancing together

chapeau (or a Chapeau-Adjacent Character bc atm i can’t remember if i wrote him in or not) starts playing the fiddle, and the wives take their place on the ballroom floor (the reception has moved back inside by now). think home (reprise), the high note then gently glissandos down to the beginning of beauty and the beast. (can you glissando on a violin? idk. maybe it’s just a piano thing but you know what i’m trying to get across here)

they dance the steps that they first performed while eve was still a bird, and then eventually devolve into a gentle waltz. 

after the first dance, it’s country dances for all!! poor chapeau has his work cut out for him, but léon can play and stanley brought his accordion so by the end of the night everybody who has to play gets to dance to at least three songs. 

17) Who takes a picture of the other

not applicable! HOWEVER plumette takes quick sketches throughout the day, and in later years belle and eve have official portraits taken in their wedding dresses on repeat wears, so between one and the other they have plenty of memories.

18) Who lifts the other up (bridal style)

eve sweeps belle off her feet (again) (it’s something of a recurring motif for them)

19) The reaction of the person being carried

belle laughs, shrieking a little because she was caught off-guard. she presses small kisses to eve’s cheek and neck until her arms give out and she has to put belle down again. 

20) Wedding night

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

no, no, no, i’ll be genuine (and mildly explicit). they leave (eventually). chip fell asleep about an hour ago. the night is (fairly) young. they go up to the west wing together. eve can’t stop grinning. she has a wife. 

once safely in the west wing, they help each other out of the fine materials of their dresses and remove their stays, but otherwise stay pretty much fully dressed. they pile up on eve’s bed, in a similar position to how they were in the library the night before; belle is lying directly on the pillows, while eve is resting with her head on belle’s shoulder and their legs intertwined. before long, of course, they start kissing. and they clutch at each other, pressing so close they can feel their heartbeats through the layers of muscle and bone and fabric. and eve takes a very long time to roll belle’s stockings down her legs, kissing each inch as it appears. and then she kisses several other areas of her wife’s body (and belle can barely look at her as she does it, but the sight of that blonde head between her legs causes her to dig her fingers into eve’s hair, and that was a rather interesting discovery for both of them). and then belle, after a moment to catch her breath, pushes eve over to her back and pulls off her chemise. and she is just as slow as eve was, tracing her hands over eve’s body, and when she does finally push eve’s chemise away to press her lips to naked skin, the look in eve’s eyes is one she never forgets.

and then, after a long while, eve says, ‘we’re married. you’re my wife.’

‘and you’re my wife,’ belle says just as quietly. she presses a kiss to the top of eve’s forehead. 

‘i never thought this would happen,’ she says. ‘not even before the curse. i thought i would be like my mother, and that the most i could hope for was either to have a husband who would be kinder or to live as an old maid.’

belle wraps her arm around eve’s shoulders a little tighter, as if she wants to protect the girl of eighteen whom she never even met. knowing belle, eve thinks, that’s probably the case. 

‘i’m so glad i met you, eve,’ she says. ‘i never thought this kind of love could be possible. i’m beyond overjoyed that it’s with you.’

she cards her fingers through eve’s hair, the glint of her ring catching in the moonlight. a few minutes later, eve rearranges their positions, so that they’re both covered by the warm blankets and she’s pressed into belle’s back, her arms draped around her. their hands find each other under the covers, and they fall asleep peacefully on their first day of married life.

[productivelifeformula-blog]

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[mst3kproject]

1205: Killer Fish

I saw this movie once before, decades ago – my mom taped it because ‘it sounded like something you’d watch’.  It came to mind back in January of 2017 when I decided to start doing Episodes that Never Were every ten days, but as of the trailer I hadn’t yet tried to find it.  It wouldn’t have been hard.  I couldn’t remember what it was called, but ‘Lee Majors fish movie’ would have done the trick, if I’d only been in enough of a hurry to bother.  The words Killer Fish did come to mind, but I felt like the title of a movie in which the Bionic Man fights piranhas had to be something cooler than that.

The word ‘piranha’ never looks correct to me no matter how I spell it, even with OpenOffice assuring me I’ve got it right.

We begin with the perfect crime.  A group of crooks break into a power plant somewhere in Brazil and steal a cache of jewels, which they hide by throwing them into a lake.  All that remains now is to wait for the police activity to die down, and then they can just send a diver down to get them back and leave the country.  Simple, right?  Well… maybe not so much.  When two of the gang decide they want all the treasure for themselves, they discover that the lake is infested with hungry piranhas!  Nor is this just a happenstance – the mastermind behind the heist deliberately released them there, lest anyone try to claim more than their share of the loot.  Boy, that must’ve seemed like a great idea, until a sudden storm leaves the entire cast stranded on a sinking boat in the middle of piranha-infested waters.

Piranhas are like ninjas, or black holes, in that most people probably have some vague idea that they don’t work in real life the way they do in movies, but nobody bothers to look them up and confirm this.  As the blogger I took it upon myself to do so, and learned that piranhas are actually omnivores who are as likely to use their powerful jaws to crack open nuts and seeds are they are to hunt small prey.  In the rare cases when they attack humans, the worst they do is nibble on your fingers and toes a bit.  Far from being likely to devour you, piranhas are considered a food fish in South America!  Reality, as usual, is far less gruesome and much more delicious than movies would have us believe.

But nobody wants to watch a movie in which people eat piranhas, so Killer Fish, here we go.

The first half of this movie actually feels like it’s got some momentum.  We get the heist and the escape, which are interesting even if they don’t make a whole lot of sense (if the movie ever explained why a power plant has a fortune in pre-cut jewels hidden in a basement locker, I missed it), and then the Italian brothers betray the rest of the gang and get eaten, and the Token Girl, Kate, starts to discover what an utter bastard the mastermind, Paul, is when she realizes he’s responsible for the deaths. We’ve got intrigue, infighting, and plenty of frothing red-stained water.  As piranha movies go, so far so good.

Yes, by the way, there is a scene in which Kate runs around screaming “PAAAAAUUUL!” I haven’t seen the episode yet at the time of writing this, but if somebody doesn’t holler, “you iz a werwalf!” I will be very disappointed.  (Future Me: referencing Cry Wilderness was not a substitute, damn it.)

The film starts to lose its way when we’re introduced to the people who I think are supposed to be our main characters.  That’s a bad sign.  Our male lead is Bob, a guy who’s connected in some way with the jewel thieves, although what his actual job was I have no idea.  In the opening heist scene everybody’s wearing masks so the only ones identifiable are Kate and the blond-hair-helmeted getaway driver.  Bob’s opposite number is Gabrielle, a model who has come to Brazil for a photoshoot with her bossy manager Ann and her gay stereotype photographer Ollie.  Bob and Gabrielle fall for each other right away for no particular reason besides that she’s hot and he’s the supposed hero, and the movie starts to wander off.

What we want during the middle of this movie is more information about the piranha repellent Paul has apparently developed, or about his health problems, both of which sound like they’re going to be plot points but neither are.  What we get is two different but equally obnoxious meet-cutes between Bob and Gabrielle, and scenes in which Gabrielle seems to think Kate is Bob’s Other Girlfriend and nobody ever bothers correcting her.  This leads to lots of the two women metaphorically putting their ears back and hissing at each other, while I roll my eyes because they literally have nothing to fight over.  Kate’s not after Bob, she just wants the jewels.  Gabrielle doesn’t even know about the jewels, she just wants some dick. Apparently movie writers consider a love triangle so essential that when there isn’t one, they fake it!

By the time we get to everybody on the boat, trying to figure out how to get off it without getting eaten, it feels like the writers have simply run out of ideas… and then there’s the ending.  What the hell is up with the ending?  Kate skips town with the jewels, except once she’s on the plane she’s shocked to find that Gabrielle stole them from her. Buuuut when Bob and Gabrielle open the case they find that Kate already took half the gems and left them a note!  Oh, and Bob and Gabrielle were secret agents or some shit the whole time, I don’t know, this is never explained or even hinted at, it’s just a gotcha ending. The end of the movie would have worked just fine had it simply been Kate escaping with the gems and Bob and Gabrielle eloping in Rio, but they had to throw this at us.

The reason ‘Kate gets away with it’ would have been an okay ending is because when I think about it, Kate has a much better claim to protagonist status than Bob does.  We never find out what Bob’s doing there or what he really wants, and the surprise ending only confuses the matter.  Kate, however, wants to be filthy stinking rich and run away with Paul, whom she has convinced herself she loves.  She undergoes an evolution over the course of the story, as she becomes increasingly aware that Paul is an asshole and that he’s just using her, until she finally reaches the point of wanting to shoot him, only to find he’s betrayed her one last time by giving her an empty gun.

Paul has treated Kate terribly throughout the movie. He manipulates her emotions, does things like forcing her to dive in with the piranhas while he pretends to be suffering from a heart condition, and finally abandons her while excusing it on the pretext that he assumes she was using him.  He’s such a jerk that his death and her victory feel like justice even though she, too, is a criminal.  But Kate can’t be the main character because she’s a girl, so we’re stuck with Bob, and half that victory is snatched from her at the last minute by Bob and Gabrielle doing… whatever the hell it was they were actually doing the whole time.

We know Bob’s the hero because he gets the girl (Gabrielle) at the end, and because he gets the Hero’s Battle Death Exemption – and the latter is a doozy. I’ve mentioned HBDE before, in my review of Blood Waters of Dr. Z.  In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, I believe it comes originally from Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension, and states that the movie’s monster (whether animal, human, machine, whatever) will have to spend far more time and effort trying to kill the hero or love interest than it will any other character, regardless of whether this makes any sense.  In Killer Fish, the piranhas devour almost all their victims in seconds, and the victims themselves are too busy thrashing in the water to swim or even try to accept offered help.

There are only two exceptions to this.  One is Ann, who manages to swim frantically for shore while the piranhas are busy devouring Ollie (I think we’re supposed to assume that since he’s The Fat Guy, he kept them occupied for longer than usual – nice).  The other is Bob.  The first time he dives in, trying to retrieve a sunken raft, the fish have been stunned by a depth charge.  The second time, he swims out to Paul’s raft, fights him, sabotages the raft, and swims back while the piranhas are supposedly nibbling on him the whole time, and yet he shows no evidence of injury!  Again, I haven’t seen the episode but the obvious joke is that since Bob is Lee Majors, the fish can’t eat the bionic parts.  (Future Me: at least they made a joke about that.)

The piranhas themselves look okay.  There are some scenes that appear to have had real piranhas in them and some that I think are puppets or other types of fish. Either way, the shots where they’re eating somebody never show their teeth sinking in, even to cloth.  People like Bob or Little Alex Kitner come out of the water, supposedly terribly injured, completely intact but with their clothing soaked in blood. We’re shown skeletons among the weeds, but the film totally fails to give us that scene that’s obligatory for any monster-in-the-water movie, where somebody hauls a body out and discovers it only exists from the ribcage up.  The guy who made the ‘Gable Film’ did that with paint and spray foam!  I waited the whole damn movie for that scene and it never happened.

My Mom was right, this was something I’d watch.  It’s something I’d watch and then complain about at length, leading people to ask me why I watched it, which would prompt me to reply that I watched it so I could complain about it!  As bad movies go, it’s reasonably entertaining and easy to heckle – so easy, it’s like shooting … well, you know the rest.

[a7xlizardqueen]

Title: Your Knight in a Sweater Vest

Overall Rating: NC-17

Overall Warnings: Parental bullying, mentions of bulimia, nudity(?), drinking, partying, cursing, very slight mention of war and trauma, smut

Pairing: Reader x Steve Rogers

Summary: When you need help dealing with your rude and overbearing family, your best friend Steve Rogers comes to the rescue. Modern!AU - For  @barnesrogersvstheworld Writing Challenge Shot Through the Heart

Chapter: 1/10

Word Count: 1,638 words

Chapter Warnings: None

-X-X-X-

The bar was packed as you squeezed yourself through the crowd, searching for a group of familiar faces. It was Friday, which meant only one thing: meeting up with the guys at your favourite spot for beer and wings. Afterward you’d probably play pool and keep your eyes out for someone to hook up with.

“Yo, Y/N, over here!”

Sam is peering over the crowd, waving his hand in the air. He, Bucky, and Steve are already packed into a booth, a pitcher of Bud half empty.

“What, you guys start without me?” you ask, sliding on to the bench next to Steve.

“That’s what happens when you’re late,” Bucky scolds, sliding over a fresh glass.

“Dude, not even five minutes.”

“Five minutes is still late, Y/N.”

“I’ll remember that next time you’re late, James.”

“Now, now, children, settle down,” Steve smirks. "You're both late as often as the other."

You and Bucky smirk and he winks. Steve is always the peacekeeper between you two. Not that you don’t like each other, just the opposite, but you have kind of a love-hate relationship, as if you’re each other’s annoying sibling.

The waitress comes around, blonde girl with big tits. She smiles at all the guys, and ignores you. You’re used to it. Downside to being the only woman in a group of men. You order five-dozen wings, another pitcher, and a round of shots of Honey Jack.

“Kay, so, game at my place Sunday?” Sam asks.

“You got it, man,” Steve says and Bucky nods.

The shots come and before anything else is said you clink your glasses and shoot back the sweet, amber liquid.

“What ‘bout you, Y/N?”

You shake your head, “Sorry boys, no can do. Prior engagement.”

“Hot date?” Steve smirks.

“I wish,” you pause and take a large gulp of your beer to stall for a moment. The guys’ questioning faces don’t relent. “I’ve got a barbecue at my mother's house to go to.”

Their immediate reaction is to look concerned, quickly followed by angry.

“What the hell are you doing even talking to her?” Bucky’s brow furrows, “She treats you like shit.”

“She's my mother, Buck. Besides, it’s not so bad anymore.”

“I don’t believe you for one damn second, doll. You always make excuses for that family.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. Sam, Steve, and Bucky are quiet, unhappy with you.

“There’s something more isn’t there?” Steve asks.

You nod and whisper, “He’s back.”

“Who’s back, Percy’s back?!” Bucky’s fist hits the table with a thud.

“You mean that asshole that had you starving yourself?” Sam asks.

“That asshole who had you working out so hard you passed out and had to be rushed to the hospital?”

“He doesn’t want to get back together, does he?” Steve asks.

You shake your head and call the waitress over for another round of shots, doubles this time.

“No, he just wants to show off his new girlfriend and tell me how much better she is then me. And how much more successful he is then me.”

“Want us to come beat his ass?” Sam offers.

The wings arrive and you all dig in. You laugh and shake your head.

“No, that would be a seriously unfair fight.”

Bucky laughs, “Dude still skinny as shit?”

“You know it.”

“Never skip leg day!” Sam yells.

The tension of the previous minutes has lifted and your plight is ignored for a while as you watch a random soccer game on the TV and continue to stuff yourselves with beer and wings and whiskey. After another round you head over to an empty pool table, you and Steve against Bucky and Sam. As Bucky and Sam rack up the balls Steve hands you a cue and says quietly.

“Seriously, Y/N, if you want some back up, I’m there.”

You sigh, of course he would offer. Steve was one of those seriously good guys that always tried to do the right thing.

“And how would you help?”

He shrugs, “I dunno. But I could at least stick up for you. Be there to let everyone know how great you’re doing with your life.”

“Really, Steve, I don’t need a cheerleader.”

Steve smirks, “Damn, now what am I gonna do with my pom poms?”

“Y/N, your break!”

-X-X-X-

Friday night ended rather uneventfully. You drank more. You played pool. Did a bit of dancing. Went home. No one got lucky that night.

Sunday rolled around. It was a hot day so shorts were a must. You still had a hard time showing off your legs, especially around your family, but if you tried to cover up with pants you’d regret it. Besides, Sam was always telling you to show off the body you’d worked so hard for. He’d kill you if you told him you hid it away. You paired it with a thin white button up, rolling up the sleeves to your elbows. You knew your outfit wasn’t nearly as fancy or feminine as your mother’s or your sister’s surely would be, but you’d mostly abandoned the need for their approval by now, anyway. Mostly.

The look of utter disappointment was exactly what you’d expected, followed by the obligatory scolding for your tardiness. The tardiness was completely intentional, of course, the less time you spent with them the better.

Your mother and sister were visions of perfect beauty. Hair shiny, bouncy, not a flyaway in sight; and they were both wearing long flowing maxi dresses. It made your $5 bargain store shorts and shirt seem frumpy.

Then there was the ex, Percy. He wasn’t typically good looking. His face held too much expression, almost goofy, his eyes and lips large on his narrow face and his dark hair was unruly, sticking up in every direction. He wasn’t particularly tall, and had a thin body with just enough muscle to counteract any fat. But he had a certain charisma in the way he carried himself and the way he spoke that captivated people. It had certainly captivated you once.

His girlfriend was beautiful. Like a movie star from the 1950’s. She dressed like one too. And she was so damn nice that it was hard not to like her. Even though you tried, very hard.

You milled around the barbecue mostly, sipping your beer and trying to avoid conversation. You don’t often get what you want, though.

“Long time no see, Y/N, how ya been?” Your stepdad’s work associate asks as you try to slip quietly by to get yourself another beer.

“I’m fine, Geoff, how are you?” You answer politely, looking down at your empty bottle.

“Oh, just fantastic. Did your stepdad tell you we made a killing this year? Yeah, Jan and I are gonna take a trip to Hawaii to celebrate.”

And thus began the extremely exciting and titillating conversation of the world of insurance. Somehow the man was able to talk about the most boring subject in the world for an entire half hour. You zoned out after about five minutes and only came to when he finally asked you a question.

“What is it that you do again?”

Great, the question. Everyone always asks that question. Normally you wouldn’t care, you enjoy telling people what you do for a living. Just not this crowd.

“I’m a woodworker.”

“Oh. So what does that mean, exactly?”

“I build things out of wood. Furniture, sculptures, you name it. Some of what I make is my own design, whenever I get inspiration; a lot is custom building stuff. I also do antique restoration. And I teach yoga and self-defence at my buddy’s gym.”

“How interesting. And is there a lot of money in the woodworking business?”

“Probably not as much as in the insurance business,” you shrug and back away, “if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been empty for far too long.”

All these people ever talk about is money. They base their ideas of success on how much money can be made, not how happy something can make you, or someone else. Your favourite thing in the world is seeing the amazed looks on a client’s face when you bring their ideas to fruition, sometimes better than they could have imagined. But conveying that feeling to these vultures was impossible.

“Good to see you again, Y/N,” his voice interrupts you before you can even take five steps and you once again look down at your empty beer and sigh; you’re gonna have to upgrade to whiskey.

“Wish I could say the same for you, Percy,” you turn and paste a fake smile onto your face.

You don’t know why, but he still makes your stomach tie into knots every time you look at him. He broke your heart, and you got over it. You did. There isn’t a bone in your body that wants to revisit the lack of a relationship you had with this man for one year. And yet when you look at him, especially with her on his arm, you think about how long it’s been since a man has touched you. You think about how long it’s been since a man looked at you with desire in his eyes. You look at him and your body yearns, and aches for what could have been.

“You’re breaking my heart, babe,” he feigns pain with a hand over his heart.

“Oh, if only I could.”

“No date again?”

“Well, I didn’t want to make you jealous.”

“How kind of you.”

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell me you had a guest coming?” Your mother rushes over.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t worry, there’s plenty of food and beverages, but really Y/N, it’s quite rude. Please tell me next time so I can be prepared.”

“Mother, what are you talking about?”

“Hey, honey, sorry I’m late.”