#and once again my friend group was like THIS IS RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL GO

[idsb]

And in what is perhaps the most shocking and random turn of events ever, Florida Boy of all people (veterans discount for those who remember him) is touring with a huge artist now and that artist is playing in Melbourne and we are hanging out

[hoe4sports]

“I wanted tall, I wanted green eyes”

Jessie Fleming x reader

A/N: mentions of symptoms of the flu. Denial of being gay. This is a part of my new Jessie series called 10x better. It’s based off of the song x10 better by Marielle Craft. There will be multiple parts.

-

You groaned as you ripped the paper out of your workbook before cramming it into a ball and chucking it towards the bin. It was close to summer, and the last month of College was wrapping up. You hadn’t really wanted to do college, but you didn’t have anything else going on so your parents pulled some strings to get you into UCLA’s prestigious engineering program going with a major in material engineering. The school had a decent track program where you had excelled into a good athlete. Luckily you had found yourself a bouquet of girls in class and in track who sticked together with you through the college years. The group of you went through all kinds of hardships together as you gradually turned into adults. That had led you to sitting with the girls at a table in the library‘s area specifically dedicated to group projects and talking.

«I cant for the life of me figure this out. It just won’t stick! It really makes no sense.” You huffed at Aubrey who looked just as lost as you did. Normally, you were a decent student. Getting good grades; mostly A’s and B’s but you had the occasional C+. It didn’t bother you at all, grades and school wasn’t what defined you as a human. “What part is it that your stuck on? Maybe I can help?” Your friend Mia suggested. You dramatically flipped your textbook towards her to let her see the materials you were struggling with. She read through the page quickly before taking off her glasses dramatically. “You are on your own kid, I barely passed the test about that part.” It left you with rolling your eyes as you huffed again.

«What about that boyfriend of yours? Isn’t he like supersmart? William or whatever his name was» Ella teased as you laid your head down on the table and covered it with the book. “Ugh” you said. “Ooo, trouble in paradise!” Amalia teased. You sat up and crossed your arms as you shook your head. “Guys, cut her some slack. Y/N, I have a friend who is really smart. She plays soccer with me, I could give you her number” Mia suggested causing everyone to shut up. You sat up interested. “I’m listening” Mia smiled. “Her name is Jessie, she’s the smartest person I know! She told me that I could always ask for help so I supposed I can lend you my favor.” “Deal!” You said as you handed over your phone for Mia to type in the number of your saviour.

—

You sat infront of the big mirror in your down curling your hair like a last minute touch up. Your boyfriend had blown you off once again for studying, so you had decided to hit up Jessie so she could help you study. William was always so busy, always studying or going to his little clubs. It wasn’t that you didn’t like him, but he was just there. Life hadn’t handed over a boyfriend before college, so when William asked; you jumped on it. It wasn’t like people describe it. Like butterflies, romance and giggles. It was just like a friend that you would kiss occasionally. You had settled on the thought of you be a-romantic or asexual, it was painful to know that you were never going to experience the bliss, the romance and the tickling sensation of a relationship. It wasn’t something you wanted people to know, so you decided to keep it to yourself. It was the ugly truth, but it was still the truth that you had to deal with.

-

You sat in the library, waiting for this mystery Jessie to pull up. She was late, 13 minutes late. You hated people who were late, but you made an assumption that practice had ran late. You took a sip of your smoothie as you looked out of the big window infront of you. It was already dark outside, but the campus was buzzing. People were getting ready to push through the last few weeks of school before finishing college. Some of the students already had landed good jobs, some had gotten accepted into further studies, some had planned for a gap year and some people, like you, had no clue what to do. You just didn’t know what was in store for you. Your parents expected you to get a high paying job, but you just wanted to live. They wanted you to get married and have kids. You wanted to travel the world. You had talent in track, and you were pretty close to becoming an established runner in the 1500m and the 3000m. The expectations didn’t fit your dreams, but after all; you could chase your dreams once your parents had passed.

“Y/N?” A voice said behind cutting of your chain of thoughts leaving you to jump in your chair causing all the hairs on your body to rise. You practically whacked your head around somewhat resembling an owl as you turned to the girl next to you. “You are Y/N, right?” The girl said. “Uhm, yea. You must be Jessie? Mia’s friend?” You asked as you desperately tried to shake yourself out of the state of shock. “Yes, correct! I’m sorry for being late, practice went over and I had to shower so I wouldn’t stink out the library” she said as she turned into a shade of light pink. «I get it, i do track» you said as you gestured for Jessie to sit down in front of you. “Here, I brought you a smoothie as a thank you” you said as you pointed towards the cup next to her. Jessie politely accepted as she took a sip before beginning the session.

After a few hours of Jessie explaining the chapter tremendously, you were starting to slowly understand it. At least, enough for you to study the rest the following day. You were busy packing up your backpack with your books, MacBook and iPad when Jessie tapped your shoulder. “Wanna grab something to eat before bedtime?” Jessie’s suggestion was music to your ears as you loved food.

-

At the dining hall, it was pretty much empty. The large room was quiet, like all of the energies had gone to bed and left for the evening. It was a nice hall with tall walls and decent food. You grabbed a piece of pizza, some salad and a Pepsi Mac. Jessie grabbed Fanta to her Mac and cheese. Your conversation was flowing, and Jesse was quite funny. The sight of Jessie was adorable. She had this amazing aura that your soul craved to be around. Her freckles were cute, like a sky of stars in the middle of the night. And her eyes? Oh god, they felt warm and safe. The was she told stories enchanted you. She was the perfect woman, and that confused you. Not perfect like you wanted to be her, but like you wanted to be with her?

You were snapped out of your dreaming when Jessie called your name. “Hm? Sorry? I got distracted” You said as you took a bite of your pizza while waiting for Jessie. “I asked if you wanted to study tomorrow? I have practice at 5.30, but I’m free by 7” she said as you nodded. Oh god, did you seem desperate? Why were you like this? It felt like your skin was on fire. “Uh, yea, I have track at 5, but I’m free after 7” you confirmed as you changed the subject talking about how Mia had ended up falling asleep in a bush after a party during your freshman year.

After eating, Jessie insisted on following you back to your dorm. The walk from the community building to your dorm was refreshing. The chill spring air was crisp, cooling down your burning skin. It made your curled hair blow in the wind, just like in one of the dumb teenage movies you watched as a kid. The wind was however leaving you slightly cold as you had just worn a simple tank top with flowers printed on it for the day. You felt your body forcing you into a slight shiver, but before you were able to say something; Jessie had already wrapped her jacket around you.

When you reached your dorm, Jessie hugged you goodbye. She insisted on you keeping her jacket until tomorrow’s session which you honestly didn’t mind. You swung the door open as you waved after her and slipped into the dorm before flopping down on your bed with your backpack still on and your face looking up into the ceiling. Your skin felt even warmer now, it was practically boiling hot and your stomach was hurting. It felt uneasy, like it was tickling. It wasn’t a common feeling, and you were hoping that it wasn’t gonna turn into the y when you had plans with Jessie the next day.

“So, how was it?” Mia said as you looked into the ceiling. “Normal, it was studying” you said as you touched your burning cheeks with your cool hand. “Girl, you are blushing! Do you like Jessie?” Mia asked with seriousness in her voice. “I’m not blushing! Jessie is a friend, and I’m not into girls” you tried to advocate for yourself, but it turned out to be a miserable attempt of redemption. “You are not into girls? You came in her all smiling with stars in your eyes” she suggested as you sat up in your bed to look at her. Sure, Jessie was fun, kind, caring, sincere, smart. Pretty much all the positive verbs in the English language, but did that mean that you liked Jessie. “Besides my stomach hurts and I feel feverish, so I’m gonna go to bed miss noisy” you said as you took off Jessie’s jacket.

Mia raised an eyebrow at you. “Jessie’s jacket? You are not feverish; it’s called blushing. Your stomach dosent hurt; it’s called being in love. You like Jessie, and it’s okay! William is as interesting as drying paint” Mia finished as she grabbed her book and got cozy in her bed. “I don’t like girls! And William is tall and he has green eyes” you said as you hid your face in your pillow. Could it be that you actually liked Jessie? It wasn’t possible because you were aromantic. “Is that the best words you can use to describe him? Girl, get your ass down to earth! It’s okay to have a little crush! Mia continued as you buried your face even deeper down in the pillow. She had a point, but you were not sure. You felt like you couldn’t trust yourself. You ended up huffing in a respond hoping Mia would let you off the hook.

“I don’t know who you are trying to convince out of us two; but it’s not me.”

[wangxianficrecs]

Seven Seconds to the End by Admiranda & miixz

Seven Seconds to the End

by Admiranda (@admirableadmiranda) & miixz (@miixz)

T, WIP, 15k, Wangxian

Summary: Wei Wuxian has been alive for less than an hour, he has no plans for his future. But if there is one thing he knows, it’s that he wants to see Lan Zhan again. Wei Wuxian remembers all that happened at the end of his first life. He remembers that Lan Zhan stayed on his side until the very end, how he'd tried to save him before Jiang Cheng attempted to kill them both. When he fell, the last thing he saw was Lan Zhan's eyes, the last thing he heard was his cries. When he finds himself unexpectedly returned to life, he knows exactly who he can trust and where he needs to go. A Chen Qing Ling retelling. Kay's comments: The thing with CQL is that I love it dearly, but also, there are so many plotholes due to how it was adapted from the source material and I actually love those plotholes too, because that's where fanfic authors can make themselves comfortable and write so many creative stories. This story explores how CQL Wangxian's relationship is actually really great and it makes no sense for freshly-resurrected Wei Wuxian to run away from Lan Wangji when he appears in Mo village and I love this so much. The cherry on top is the fact that miixz and Admiranda are both really great writers that always draw me in and I'm excited to see how this story might continue! Excerpt: In the distance, Wei Wuxian hears the Lan juniors scramble to their feet, overhearing something about how they’ll be acting in the west courtyard tonight. It’s good to know where he can find them, but he doesn’t mind the loss of the rest of their conversation. Whatever they’ve come here for is definitely something to look into, but he’s in no hurry to learn about it. If their presence is somehow related to his return, he doubts any of them know it. No one would knowingly send a group of young cultivators anywhere near the scourge of the cultivation world. But for once, this works in his favor. For one thing, young cultivators are bound to be informed on the state of the world, and most importantly, these particular boys should know about the one he wants to meet. Just a little bit longer, he thinks, looking at the cuts in his wrist. I’ll see this through, then I’ll find my way back to you, Lan Zhan.

pov wei wuxian, canon divergence, the untamed compliant, canon rewrite, fluff, hurt/comfort, family feels, getting together, developing relationship, pining, friends to lovers, adopted lan sizhui, no jiang cheng & wei wuxian reconciliation, not jiang cheng friendly

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[wishful-thinking64]

Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Rewrite Ideas #02

Hello! Hello! I've come to bring rewrite ideas for both shows once again! People seemed to like the first one and I like coming up with story ideas with and for practically everyone so here are seven more rewrite ideas for Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss! ______

#01.) Have Alastor's magic sigils be radio symbols over Vodou symbols as it not only makes way more sense with Alastor being the Radio Demon but to not play into a harmful stereotype about a real life religion.

#02.) On the topic of religion, don't be afraid to add a few more religious figures from the Bible or the Torah! As long as you're being mindful about the material you're pulling from, I really don't see this as much of an issue. People make their own spin on angels, demons, Jesus, and God all the time! But for once, this is where Viv gets cold feet even though she already has Adam & Eve there but not their two main children? Or the reason behind why their parents and everything else exists?? Seriously Viv??? #03.) In any case, if you do add the first two siblings then I suggest having Cain possibly work at the Hotel as some kind of repentance considering he's both the first real Sinner and for the fact that he feels guilt over killing his little brother. #04.) Alright, now for some ideas for Helluva Boss! I feel like we've all grown tired of seeing the, "Two people arranged in a loveless marriage," trope with how often it's been appearing and HB is no stranger to this trope and tries to use it as a way to rectify Stolas' affair with Blitzo.

I mentioned this in my third One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion series but if you want to stick loosely to HB's canon then you'd probably be better off with making Stella a surrogate mother as we still haven't seen her interact with Octavia and there was no real point in having Stolas marry Stella if all he needed to do was secure an heir. Besides I'm pretty sure that's what Paimon did in order to get Stolas as we see no signs that he had a mom growing up with how he was raised by a butler. On the contrary, should you wish to keep Stella as Stolas' wife, I'd recommend going the path not taken. By which I mean, have Stella and Stolas marry because, at one point, they did genuinely love each other but over the years that love dwindled and eventually faded out. Even though they'd be better off parting ways they choose to stay together as Great Horned Owls (the owl that the actual Stolas from the actual Ars Goetia seems to be based off of) and Snow Geese (I refuse to believe she's a swan especially since her brother has ice powers and lives in an ice castle) typically mate for life. From here, I'd have Octavia not be born out of the "necessity" of an heir but rather as a last ditch effort to see if their relationship can be rekindled as many couples in real life think that having a child or children will "fix" their relationship. #05.) Sorry for getting somewhat depressing with that last bit. To make up for it, write a fun chapter about I.M.P. having fun by rewriting Episode #05 of Season #01, The Harvest Moon Festival! A lot of people like The Harvest Moon Festival as it is though the majority agrees that it should've been a Millie centric episode. So have her be the reason they go to the Harvest Moon Festival over Stolas, show her competing in the Pain Games, and have her stand up for her husband due to having enough of her family constantly shit talking him. Overall, have Millie excel at being the bad ass girlboss that HB makes her out to be! #06.) Give Octavia some type of found family or friend group. Have her attend a prestigious private school (I doubt Stella will have her daughter attend a regular public high school) and have her become friends with the school's outcasts. The reason this group could be outcasts is because they actually earned their right to be there by getting good grades while most of the students are probably the offspring of Hell's high ranking officials. But seriously, this girl needs (and deserves) a support system STAT! #07.) Properly explain what it takes to get a soul into Heaven. I don't care if you explain this via The Ten Commandments, trusting that Jesus died for humanity's sins, or by using another set of rules from a different religion that isn't Christianity just be certain that your explanation is clear and concise and makes sense for what you have already pre-established for your rewrite. Don't do what the HH series did by saying, "Yeah, we don't know," because that is genuinely how you lose an audience. You can't have the ENTIRE premise of the show being about wanting Sinners to get into Heaven when HEAVEN doesn't even know what gets a soul there in the first place! ______ Well, those are all of the ideas I've got for now! See ya guys!

[dearestaussiechannie]

♡ Will You Be My Girlfriend? ♡ — Seo Changbin, Bang Chan

word count: 2.9k paring: Chan x afab!reader x Changbin genre: fluff warnings: afab!reader, alcohol consumption, f2l!au, fluff, two way relationship, confession, harassment at the beginning (Changbin chases them away), pet names (Angel-Chan, Princess-Changbin, sweetheart-creeps), Changbin and Chan both have a crush on you and you have a crush on both of them, if I forgot anything let me know

Your friends were supposed to meet you at the club almost an hour ago and no matter how many times you checked your messages all you had gotten was “We’re on our way right now.” from Chan almost an hour ago. It wasn't like him to leave you in the dark like this and you hadn't even heard from Changbin. Maybe they were stuck in traffic or got caught up with their other friends.

Either way, it pissed you off. You were the only one here for your birthday and you're eight drinks in, on your ninth when the alcohol started taking effect. You grumble when the two stools on either side of you are suddenly taken up by two men you didn't know. When you get up to walk away, someone grabs your hand and pulls you back into your seat.

You look over and see someone maybe a year older than you and on the other side, someone older than him. “Where are you going sweetheart? We just got here.”

“Sorry I'm not interested.” Is all you spit at them, trying to walk away before you're forced to sit once again. “You see, that's not what I asked. It's not really like you have anyone to run off to here because we've been watching you all night and you've sat right here, alone. So, why don't you let us take up your time?” The older one says, close to your ear as you can feel someone's hand on your lower back, pulling at your dress material. Now panic starts to kick in because they weren't wrong. You were here alone and your head was extremely clouded thanks to the alcohol you'd been chugging since you got here.

You start to squirm in your seat, trying to get their hands off of you as they both move in closer, whispering into your ears even though you couldn't make out what they were saying over the music and the blood rushing into your ears. Finally all your squirming pays off as you feel their hands fall off you, standing quickly and rushing towards the door as fast as your drunk legs would carry you. You make it outside only to feel their arms wrapping around your waist and hearing their laughs. “Good idea to get out of there, we shou-” the man is cut off by a sudden shout. “Y/n!” a familiar voice finally shouts, making the other men quickly look over their shoulders while trying to walk away with you. “Sorry Mates, you've got the wrong gal.” The younger man says as his hand holds your hip tighter while you're staring across at your friends who've now closed the distance. Chan looks at you then to the strangers on your sides, Changbin giving the scariest glare you've ever seen him give anyone that wasn't JYP.

“Channie.. Binnie..” You whisper, words slurred as you stumble trying to get closer to them. This makes the hands on you tighten and you whine since their grip is starting to leave bruises. “Yeah, absolutely not.” Is all you hear before you are being pulled by your forearm away from the strangers to behind Chan, Changbin now stepped between the two groups, yelling at them. “Hi Angel, sorry we're late but it looks like we got here at the right time…” Chan whispers as he cups your cheeks and makes you look up at him. He could tell you're drunk just by how long it takes your eyes to meet his.

Changbin has chased the others half way down the block before coming back over, breathing heavily as his arms wrap around you. “Fucking creeps.. Hi princess.. happy birthday..” He lets you go before rubbing your back and looking across to Chan, talking amongst themselves as you just lay your head against Chans chest. Your face feels warm and your heart is pounding while you make fists in the material of Chans shirt, becoming extremely dizzy as your legs give out. 

Luckily, Changbin catches you before you hit the ground, picking you up bridal style. “Time to go home.” He whispers to you, resting his cheek against your forehead before looking at Chan who's already pulling up the gps to get back to your apartment. He puts you in the backseat of the car before climbing in beside you with Chan in the driver seat, getting ready to take you home. Slowly, you crawl into Changbins lap, sitting quietly as you lay your head onto his shoulder, his arms instinctively wrapping around your waist to keep you safe in that spot. Your head starts feeling heavy as you can hear the other two talking but you can't understand them, drifting to sleep due to your intoxication.

Eventually, you're woken up by Changbin shaking you a little bit and the sound of keys jingling. As you look around, you recognize the hallway in your apartment building and your front door. “Dude, you have a key to her apartment?” Changbin whispers as Chan opens the door and laughs softly. “Yeah, are you jealous?” Chan spits back, pushing the door all the way open so that Changbin can walk inside sideways with you in his arms. You feel Changbins heart jump but you don't see his face turning red as he grumbles. “Shut up..”

Slowly, you look over Changbins shoulder to see Chan walking in behind Changbin and he catches you looking at him. He winks before shutting the door and locks it. What's this feeling in your chest all of a sudden? Chan has done this many times before so why is your heart suddenly skipping a beat? Your thoughts shift as you suddenly feel the plushness of your couch against your back, pouting as Changbin puts you down, holding onto him tighter. “Nooo Binnie, wanna stay in your strong arms..” you drunkenly babble as you look up at him. ‘Why is his face so red?’ You think to yourself before simply chalking it off due to him having to carry you so far. 

“Angel, take your shoes off while I get you water.” Chan says from the kitchen making you nod even though he can't see you. “Here princess, I'll help you since these heels have a buckle, okay?” Changbin whispers to you, smiling as he crouches down and takes off your heels. You smile, threading your fingers into his hair as he puts your shoes by the table, scratching his scalp gently. He makes a small noise before Chan walks back into the living room, taking your attention from him. 

“Channie~” You slur before standing up with a wobble, trying to get closer to Chan only for him to wrap his arm around you and sit you back down on the couch. “Shhh angel, Channies right here. Sit down and drink this water for me while I go get you something to change into.” He says before rubbing your cheek once you take the cup, noticing the way that your face gets red. “Actually, I'll do that okay?” Changbin says before standing up quickly rushing into your room. He needed a moment to get his bearings back after feelling your hand in his hair.

You and Chan are left in the living room, him rubbing your back as you drink your water. He picks up a hair tie from your coffee table, gently pulling your hair out of your face and putting it into a loose ponytail. Once he's done, he rubs your cheek again before taking the empty glass from you and putting it on the table, pulling your head onto his shoulder. “I'm really sorry you had to go through that earlier.. We were late because Changbin couldn't figure out what to wear. I don't know what we'd have done if we'd gotten there just a minute later..” He whispers to you, hand rubbing your back again softly.

Changbin searched through your closet, looking for something comfortable when his eyes landed on something quite shocking. When did you get one of his shirts? Do you have any of Chans shirts? He takes it out and lays it on the bed before grabbing a pair of your sweat pants, putting it with the shirt. He comes out of your room, eyes finding you on the couch curled into Chan making his stomach curl into a knot. He's usually not the jealous type, but since he found out that Chan also liked you, he cant fight the feeling off. “Clothes are ready… Are you gonna be able to change without falling down?” He asks, concerned since he knew that your legs were weak after you fell earlier.

You nod before slowly moving from your spot beside Chan, walking over to your bedroom door where Changbin was standing. “Mm.. should be fine but can you unzip my dress for me?” you ask Changbin, turning your back to him and moving your hair over your shoulder. His face becomes bright red as he does as you ask, hearing Chan laugh from across the room once you're inside the bedroom with the door shut. He walks over and takes a seat beside Chan, running his hands over his face. “Why'd you run to get her clothes? Wanna snoop through her closet?” Chan asks as a joke, making Changbin grown. “No.. while I was taking her shoes off for her, she moved her hand into my hair and scratched at my scalp and I just needed a minute.. You know?” Changbin answers him, throwing his head back against the couch. “Poor poor Changbin.” is all Chan says back, patting the others shoulder.

The two of them wait for you to come back patiently, but when 20 minutes pass without you making a sound, they walk over to your door and knock softly. “Angel? Are you okay in there?” Chan asks, voice a bit loud since the door is shut. No answer. “Princess? Can we come in?” Changbin asks, pitch matching Chans from before. Still no answer. They look at each other before slowly opening the door, only to find you curled up in your bed under the blankets. Your dress from before was thrown on the floor with your bra and the sweats Changbin had sat out for you. Seeing this makes Changbins face turn a deep shade of red for what felt like the millionth time tonight before looking over to Chan, noticing the way he's looking at your sleeping state in admiration, tapping his shoulder before pointing at the sweats. “She has no pants on… we should shut the door Chan.” Changbin whispers before taking the handle and shutting the door.

The two walk back into the living room and finally see the time. “It’s late.. Are we gonna just stay here and sleep on the couch?” Changbin asks as he looks over at Chan who's already getting comfortable on the couch with one of the blankets thrown over the armrest. “That's the plan.. Don't wanna leave her alone just in case she starts getting sick.” Chan replies before closing his eyes and crossing his arms. Changbin copies him as he takes his place in your recliner after grabbing the extra blanket, both soon falling asleep.

The sun comes through your curtains the next morning, dreading you with the reality of a hangover. Slowly, you get out of bed and go to the bathroom for a quick shower, brushing your teeth and washing your face. You dry off and put the shirt that you had on back on, not wanting to search for a new one, getting fresh underwear before walking into your living room only to be met with Chan coming out of your kitchen with a plate, assuming he made breakfast. He looks you over quickly before turning around when he notices you have no pants on. “Good morning angel, I made breakfast.. Changbin is also still here and asleep in the recliner..” He says, making you look around and notice Changbin starting to stir and rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes. All you can do is squeal before running back into your room and slam the door shut.

The sudden bang makes Changbin quickly sit up, looking around in shock as he thought you may have fallen down. “What was that?” Changbin asks, standing up and walking over to Chan only to be met with his smiling face, making Changbin frown his eyebrows. “Chan?” he asks quietly “She's awake and um.. In shock?.. I just saw her in her underwear so she's a bit shaken up.” Chan answers him, looking down at his plate of food before walking over to the table and starts eating. Changbin looks towards your bedroom door with wide eyes, sighing as he shakes his head before walking into the kitchen to get himself some of the food Chan had made, making you a plate as well, walking over to the table and putting them down.

Eventually, you come back out of your room, now with a bra and pants on, locking eyes with Changbin this time. “Good morning princess, I made you a plate.” Changbin says softly as he points to the plate for you, noticing that you still have his shirt on. Slowly, you walk over and sit down, eating in silence, refusing to look up at Chan as you eat, playing with your food slightly. “Stop it, y/n. No need to be nervous around me. I’ve seen you in a bikini before so just think of it like that, yeah?” Chan says, throwing you off slightly when he uses your name instead of the nickname he normally calls you. You look at him, face flushed red while he stares at you. “Sorry Chan, this is just a little different than that.. You know that.”

The conversation ends there, everyone finishing their food and making their way into your living room where all of you curl up on the couch, flipping through movies. Changbin pulls you closer to him, threading his fingers with yours as he watches the movie, missing the way you look up at him. This grabs Chan's attention and he leans over and whispers into your ear. “You know, he has the biggest crush on you.” Is all he says before sitting up straight and turning his attention back to the movie. You blush as you look up at Changbin, studying his features until he looks over at you with a smile. “Yes princess?” he whispers to you, not wanting to talk over the movie. “Can I ask you something?..” you whisper back to him, making his heart jump out of his chest as he nods slowly. “Of course, anything.” He whispers before looking over at Chan, who is smirking as he rubs his chin.

“Does Chan like me?..” You ask, looking up at Changbin, noticing how all of his features suddenly fall, making your heart suddenly sting. He looks down to where your hands are locked before he clears his throat as quietly as possible, looking back up at you. “Um.. yeah he does.. He has for some time now but he didnt wanna say anything..” He whispers, eyes falling back down to your hands. You smile at the realisation that both men beside you feel the same way towards you that you feel towards them. You nod your head as you stand up, walking over and standing in front of the tv while both of them just stare at you before glancing at each other then back to you. “Angel?” Chans voice breaks the silence as he sits up straight, unsure of what's happening right now. “Yes.” is all you say back to him, making them both even more confused. “Yes?” This time it's Changbin, looking over to him and smiling as you fiddle with your fingers.

“Changbin… I like you.. A lot and I have since you showed me that hidden spot near the park…” You say as you look at him, seeing that he's smiling brightly, standing up to walk over to you but stops when you put your hand up and it makes him sit back down. “But.. I also really like you too Chan.. I’ve liked you since your last birthday..” you add, looking over at Chan to see that he's also now smiling. “Well, I don't mind sharing. I think Changbin is the only person I'd be okay sharing you with because I know he's been so devoted to you for so long.” Chan responds, looking over at Changbin, laughing slightly at the look on Changbins face.

“Binnie?..” You say, trying to get his attention as you walk over and sit down on the table in front of the couch. “Yes? I mean, I’d be okay with it as long as you don't show him more attention than me.” He says and you can't hold back the laugh before grabbing his hand, taking Chans into your other hand. “So.. I'm waiting~” You say looking between the two of them with a big smile, making Changbins heart melt and Chan wants nothing more than to take a picture of it right now. “Will you be my girlfriend?” They ask at the same time, looking over at each other and laughing slightly before looking back to you. “I’d love to~” You answer both of them, sitting back down between them, feeling the couch dip in as they both move closer to you, looking over at Changbin and kissing his cheek before doing the same to Chan.

You smile as they both hold your hands, Changbin playing with your fingers as he watches the movie again and Chan running his fingers over your knuckles before bringing your hand up to his lips and kisses it gently. You must be the luckiest girl in the world because not only is Seo Changbin your boyfriend but so is Bang Christopher Chan.

©️ dearestaussiechannie, all rights reserved.

Taglist: (to be added, comment or message me♡)

@bangchansbae

[kitorin]

OUR SPRING

010. creep

3:40 pm

"Pfft." The giggle slips out as you leave the school building.

You can't emphasize enough how much school life has improved, there's been a significant improvement for the past few weeks, and you can't put into words how free you feel. Even everything outside of you and Hyoma's relationship was going well,

Everything's been going great. The majority of Hyou's fan base loved and supported you (with the rest either being hateful and salty or weird and obsessive).

Egoism's public relations team was highly capable too, with Reo's family assisting with managing the media and any undesirable articles.

But of course, an idol and his famous group, a PR team and the media couldn't fix your personal life.

"y/n."

A self deprecating speech that has the purpose of guilt tripping you, or a childish fit of anger. When it comes to Kira Ryosuke, either could happen.

Kicking and lashing out at him was very tempting, but now that you have a public image you have to be careful.

"What?"

"Why do you do this to me, I know I'm not perfect but you didn't have to do that to me."

Ah, so he chose both.

"Please stop."

You keep any sort of emotion out of it, wanting to deal with this quickly and avoid any sort of unnecessary conflict or fighting.

"You've been dating Chigiri, why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm not obliged to tell you anything." Your voice is steady, yet you're still ready to break down and just run away. But you refuse, although you're terrified nothing would change for good if you turn a blind eye. "Stop obsessing over every detail of my life."

"But it doesn't make sense, y/n please, I know you're going through a lot right now-" Again with that fucking phrase, all because you ranted a bit about school being troublesome. Even if you had been going through something messed up and overwhelming, it was none of Kira's business unless you wanted his involvement. And no one has the right to use that in attempt to manipulate you.

"Look, I heard from Taka that you said I liked you back." A look of horror and shock materializes on his face. "I don't reciprocate. I liked having you as a friend."

"Then why ignore and avoid me? Don't lie-"

"I said liked. Not like. There's a difference in tense." As painful it was to admit now, he was a nice person at first. Or maybe he'd been this toxic the whole time and simply gave up on concealing it. Either way you wanted him out of your life for good. "You ignored and avoided me for no reason, you've gaslighted and guilt tripped me."

"That was only once."

As if that was an excuse. And it definitely happened more than once.

"Just fuck off." You were getting impatient, blood on the verge of boiling and teeth almost clenching. "I don't want to deal with you ever again." With that, you turn to leave, but his hand grips into your wrist.

"Don't make me the bad person here."

His grip goes as sudden as it came, with someone pulling you away from him.

"?!"

Chigiri doesn't even acknowledge you verbally, one arm wrapped around your waist the other holding your hand.

He's livid, resentment scrawled all over this face and eyes almost glowing with disgust.

"Don't. Touch. Them." Despite how obvious his emotions were, he still maintained a stoic tone, although you were saved by him you still found him intimidating. It wasn't the right situation, but you still admired how he looked, hair tied up neatly and an extra button of his school shirt undone.

Something about Chigiri's heroic action seems to piss off Kira, his personality did a 360 from seemingly polite, to straight up animalistic and feral. His deceitful smile became an ugly expression of him gritting his teeth, he only got louder and more rude, going off at you.

"It's your fault for flirting with me all the time."

"You spread all these rumors only to blame me, you made all the advancements onto me."

"You're a fucking bitch."

Slap.

Hyoma had released you, a loud and clean strike across Kira's cheek, now red and swollen. Gasps fluttered along the corridor, Kira's accusations and screaming attracted attention.

Flashes of videos and photos engulfed you with discomfort, sure you were nice to Kira, but it wasn't with intentions to be anymore than friends. You'd rather be a nice person to everyone, not specifically to someone you were interested in.

"Don't run your mouth. Or try to ever disrespect y/n. Don't even try to accuse them of anything. Of course someone like you would misinterpret kindness with flirting. Y/n never liked you, never will, and doesn't owe you anything." He glances around, wanting to check on you but refusing to take his eyes off Kira, just to be safe. "Last chance. Before I actually try something."

Chigiri immediately runs over to you, even though you weren't that far from him. His jacket comes off, covering you and your face as he guides you out of the commotion, with an arm protectively wrapped around you.

"Shit, are you okay?" He finally speaks, after you've both lost the crowd, now hiding near the front gate of school.

"Yeah." You were slightly shaken up at the event, not used to conflict, let alone conflict with complete strangers watching. "Thanks, a lot. I dunno what I would've done without you."

He smiles with relief, eyes squinting and dimples showing again. "Of course, anything for my fake lover. C'mon, let's get out of here, before they find us again."

You nod, feeling abnormally hot and your heart beating a bit faster than usual, it must be the aftermath of the drama.

NINE | ELEVEN | MASTERLIST

PAIRING. chigiri hyoma x reader

SYNOPSIS. school gets overwhelming with constant rumours and accusations, thankfully someone is willing to help. but what happens when this mutually beneficial agreement escalates into something more?

GENRE. social media au, fake dating, idol / actor au

TAGLIST. @izzylovestnbhd, @angelchigiri, @punkhazardlaw, @silly-ez, @y-sabell-a, @mellozhi, @luvlunazx, @oldest-dream-pdf, @misfits1a, @hoshithinker, @livelaughloveisagiyoichi, @mave-in

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[ranchthoughts]

various thoughts and musings on Only Friends and ephemerality, inspired by @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan's thoughts here

In her post, @waitmyturtles pointed out how the theme of ephemerality in time and life has popped up in the show so far: in Ray, who blacks out and can't remember the previous night; in Boston, king of the one night stand; in the atmosphere of the show (Cheum telling Mew to get with Top, because they are facing COVID, airborne particles, and radiation); in Mew who bucks the paradigms of his friend group (doesn't take shots, remains a virgin, etc.), who wants to take his time/get Top to stick around, to reject ephemerality, unlike his friends.

This all got me thinking about how time and ephemerality show up in elsewhere in Only Friends and in the other characters' lives.

We have, of course, the ephemeral and short-term one night stands contrasted against the non-one night stands (Boston's whole deal vs. what Mew wants from Top), but even the question of "ephemeral" one night stands is getting complicated here. Boston has lots of one night stands, but also he wants another go with Top, and he returns to Nick several times. What does Boston think about "letting things age like plum wine" as it were? Why isn't he interested in longer-term relationships?

We also learn this episode that Sand has his fair share of one night stands too. In the preview for the next episode, Sand says he's never slept with someone who is not his lover more than once. Here we see a contrast between short-term/ephemeral hookups and longer-term relationships - Sand has both one night stands and lovers, temporary and lasting. Sand and Ray are not lovers/boyfriends, therefore the sexual element of their relationship (and perhaps even their friendship itself) must be temporary, according to Sand. Why does Sand draw these distinctions, why is he placing Ray in the category of short-term hookup and not relationship material (if he is actually doing that)? How does his view of short term vs. long-term relationships differ from Boston's?

Mew wants longevity with Top and doesn't want a one night stand, but as waitmyturtles pointed out/we saw in this second episode, he also wants to go back to the beginning and have Top hit on him again. He wants something permanent, but there is this also this thread of ephemerality, of going back in time, of starting again/forgetting what came before, present in his story line just as there is in Boston's.

Boston and Nick are "temporary" lovers (despite Boston returning to Nick several times, enough that Nick is surprised and wants the relationship defined), Sand and Ray are "temporary" lovers (despite Ray wanting to continue a friendship through it), Mew and Top are "lasting" lovers (though Mew clarifies that he only accepted Top as his boyfriend because he felt embarrassed by the public question, and asks if they can start at the beginning again).

Waitmyturtles and lurkingshan got into the idea of "seize the day," "live now because we won't live forever," and that is reflected in a lot of these characters' story lines. Nick recognizes Boston when he comes into the phone store and decides to seize the day, take advantage of this once in a lifetime chance to get with him. He has to move fast not to lose it. Sand and Ray throw caution into the wind and sleep together, despite Sand's warning that they can no longer be "just friends" after this. Boston wants Top one more time, even if that means getting Top to cheat on his boyfriend. There's a carpe diem vibe, a recklessness, even a disregard for consequences, to their actions (and I think we know we are going to spend a lot of time dealing with the fallout from these decisions).

In my messages with waitmyturtles and in lurkingshan's response on this post, we both latched onto how this carpe diem mentality and ephemerality of time and life relate to queer history. Queer people have historically faced difficult and shortened life spans due to HIV-AIDS, hate crimes, criminalization, and other threats to the community - life must be lived quickly and all at once, because it may not last long. Lack of marriage equality and other legislation also means queer relationships have not been offered the permanency and weight of heterosexual relationships. Queer people couldn't wish for a long-term, permanent happily ever after for a very long time (this makes me think about queer futurities - linking @chickenstrangers' post on this in Bad Buddy - and @waitmyturtles talking (here and here) about how queer automatically = pain and tragedy in media, especially earlier queer media). Therefore, to queer people throughout history and now, we see the "life fast die young," "we aren't going to live forever" mentality that permeates Only Friends.

On another note - I am interested in the idea of ephemerality and permanency as it relates to money and class in the show. Sand is not in a good place financially (he has to take on multiple jobs, live carefully within his means, etc.); he is unable to achieve the longevity and stability that comes with financial security. Ephemeral in another way. But we see also that money doesn't necessarily mean stability or permanency (or happiness) either - Ray has lots of money but is alone. His friends don't stick around, he pays for the temporary company of Sand, he spends his money on drink that makes him forget the night before - ephemerality yet again.

@waitmyturtles also brought up the idea of plum wine (which sweetens as it ages) and drew parallels to I Promised You the Moon, slowing down, lingering in relationships, etc. I couldn't help but notice that Sand's plum wine is carried in a bag that reads "You only live once" - the lasting and the ephemeral, the slow and the fast, the permanent and the temporary.

[evansboyfriend]

I would have loved it if Bucks whole sponsor storyline had more emotional impact than just "buck is ready for kids but is hamster wheeling his relationships" - the connect between feeling like a spare parts kid, KNOWING that he wasn't actually wanted, and knowing that Connor and Kameron(?) wanted him (sort of), could have been explored with more nuance and it would have been so 🤩🤩🤩.

Tbh even just how Buck feels about his body - from hurting himself for attention and using sex to avoid intimacy and THEN learning that he's a donor sibling for a dead brother - and then learning he's queer - all of it is so specific to how buck feels about his body as a whole and it would have made such an awesome storyline

that's what i've been saying! i personally love the sperm donor storyline because it happens after he learns he was made for spare parts and he CHOOSES to donate some spare parts to his friend so they can start their own family - it's about the CHOICE - even though we see him struggling with it. s6 was such an interesting season for buck's development because we see him struggling with not being chosen for interim captain, asking bobby "you don't think i'm at ease?" and asking hen "what do you think it is, the secret to happiness?" and then reminiscing about his adventures, choosing to be a sperm donor for connor and kameron, the coma dream full of lessons and affirmations, and trying to deal with the aftermath of his temporary death. hands down fave buck season. they messed it up by trying to get him with natalia (because the show was not being renewed and we can't have people end up single? the horror!) and bringing back kameron to crash at his flat as if she doesn't have anyone else to go to...? fucking bizarre choices. 6b suffered from the impending doom lmao.

anyway! sometimes canon only gives us half a story and we have to dig a little deeper and use the source material to do our meta analyses and try to understand what it says about our favourite character. and i'm really hoping to see buck being confident and settled in s8, even if he's dealing with the fuckery at his workplace, i want to see that he's in a good place in his relationship with tommy, that they're good together, they're still communicating and being open and there's no bullshit like jealousy and exes and cheating and all that cheap drama crap lmao. i want to see buck who makes choices for himself as his own person and what that means for his relationship with tommy.

and while i'm here, because i've talked about wanting madney to have another baby, and i see people say "but it was so bad the first time with the postpartum syndrome etc etc" and once again i want to see maddie CHOOSE to get pregnant again - it's about the CHOICE - i want to see her say yes i want to do this, i've been through it before, and i learned a lot, i healed a lot, and i can do this with the support of my husband and a therapist and a local group for expecting or new mothers.. because the first time around: it was a surprise pregnancy, and she had thyroid problems that no doctor had apparently thought to check? or her having her nursing background? (that SL has some issues for me personally because i know it was done due to actress unavailability lol, i would have done a better job with it no offence) and because this is a fictional show, we can write characters who go through a second pregnancy as a healing experience - something that is hard to do IRL cause life is unpredictable, you know? i wouldn't advocate this for a real life woman is what i'm trying to say but maddie is ficitonal and i can make her have positive experiences. anyway!

excited to see my beloved buckleys in s8 <3

[lacklusterhero747]

Sic Semper Tyrannis

In my experience, just as many TTRPG campaigns focus on war and conflict against the powers that be as focus on exploring the wild and untamed places of the world. From stories of the companions of The Inn of the Last Home in Dragonlance to the punk rock rebels and Anarchists of Shadowrun, many times the motivating force of the story is the direct fight for survival in a world that is hostile to the very people and heroes that inhabit it. It's a well tread set of story tropes that offer clearly defined goals and villains and in built sense of drama, so it's understandable why so many stories would choose to focus on these themes.

And sometimes, if you're lucky, you get to fight those battles from the cockpit of a giant robot.

Armour Astir: Advent is a high-fantasy roleplaying game about striking back against an authority that seeks to control you. It is a game of rival pilots clashing in steel-clad Astirs, of soldiers holding their own against the odds, and of spies and diplomats twisting the world to their ends. It is not a game of careful preparation or pleasant truces; It's hard to change the world without taking a risk.

I first became aware of this game because of the excellent podcast Friends at the Table, when they played the game as part of their Road to Palisade series of games, leading up to the third season of their ongoing Divine Cycle of games. Immediately I was taken by the combination of high fantasy magic merged with the classic tropes of mecha anime that were apparent in the game as written, even if the cast was hacking the material to make fit into their more futuristic world they had built.

I felt compelled to track it down to read it for myself.

Inside the PDF, written by Briar Sovereign, I found a love letter to the Mecha Genre, drawing inspiration from such luminary series as Mobile Suit Gundam and Escaflowne, putting you in the cockpit of giant suits of armor as you stride across the battlefields of a war against an evil power. But like the series it draws heavily from, it does so with a distinct focus on the pilots inside their Astirs, rather than just focusing on the mecha and the carnage they can bring. This is a game with stakes and in interest in the relationships between people. It's a game that, as the intro to this latest season of Friends at the Table puts it, is about Empire, Revolution, Settler Colonialism, Politics, Religion, War, and the many consequences there of.

Running off of a modified version of the Powered by the Apocalypse system, Armour Astir is built on already accessible system with a distinct interest in narrative storytelling. You work together with your group to define your Authority--the oppressive power that the group of players are fighting back against--and your Cause--the group that backs and hands orders down to the player characters--and build a world around these two groups and their seemingly irreconcilable differences. From there, the players build their characters from the available playbooks--The Arcanist, The Imposter, The Paradigm, The Witch, The Captain, The Diplomat, The Artificer, and The Scout--and collectively define the Carrier--their White Base or their Normandy--from which they launch their sorties against the Authority and where they spend their downtime between missions. It's an elegant way to frame a world in conflict, and once again as I will always point out, it's a game interested in the collective construction of the world in which you're going to play, thereby creating a sense of player buy in from the jump.

Still, even as a PbtA game, AA:A still manages to bring its own novel concepts to the table.

Presumably drawing inspiration from 5e D&D, the game introduces the concept of Advantage and Disadvantage to the system. Where normally you would roll 2d6+Stat in a PbtA game, hoping to roll a 10+ and succeed without a cost, Advantage and Disadvantage allow you to roll more dice, keeping a number according to their respective rules. And they stack! If you find your self with 2 advantages, for instance, then you would roll 4d6 and keep the best 2. Or if you had 2 advantages and 1 disadvantage, you would roll 3d6 and still keep the best two as advantage outnumbers disadvantage. The only caveat is that you can never roll more than 4 dice for a move.

Then there's the idea of acting with Confidence or Desperation. Certain moves, approaches, and situations can cause you to act with either of this conditions, and they fundamentally change how the dice are read. If you're acting with Confidence in a scene, any 1 you roll on a d6 is instead treated as a 6, while acting in Desperation makes any 6 you roll instead be treated as a 1.

These two rules alone could be enough for me to really consider the game an evolution of PbtA, as using the mechanics together allows you to deeply calibrate the odds of success or failure of a given move to really match the fiction of the story your telling, but the interesting ideas don't stop there.

The game asks you to define your character by a set of Hooks, which are short phrases that define how your character acts and thinks about the world and the people around them. They're guide posts for the player, reminding them what their character is about, but they're also guide posts for the GM and for the other players. They show what kinds of situations you care about and want to be drawn into, and they can be rewritten as needed, and deepened or loosened by various rules interactions that make the hooks easier or harder to change in play. Hooks can even be sacrificed permanently, crossed off your sheet forever and buying you a new advancement for your character and the ability act immediately with Confidence as your character commits themselves to the fight and how the war has changed them.

Meanwhile, the concept of Gravity Clocks, presents an incredibly dynamic way to represent the relationships between characters. Representing the attachments you have with people and groups, these clocks are countdowns to when a relationship might be challenged, confronted, or addressed. They can be one-sided, or they can be shared between two characters, and evoked to add numerical bonuses to rolls, the clock ticking forward every time it gets used in this manner. And when the six step clock fills up, the game asks you to Redefine, Commit, or Abandon the gravity between you and the subject of the clock. Each option presents its own ramifications, in addition to allowing you to take a new advancement for your character, and I could gush about them in detail for hundreds of words more, but I think it's better to simply let the game speak for itself if you choose to read it.

Finally, and perhaps most interestingly to me, is the concept of The Conflict Turn. Played out between Sorties by the player characters at the Carrier level, the Conflict turn is meant to zoom out and show the greater context of the conflict. Here players direct the broader course of the struggle by playing out Conflict Scenes, directing challenges at one another through role-played scenes, reminiscent of Mobile Frame Zero: Firebrands by D. Vincent Baker. It allows you to shape the course of the war and the world at a truly macro scale, and depict scenes and conflicts that might otherwise get lost in a narrow focused game about a single group of pilots on a single carrier, acting on a single front in the war. It invites players to step back and look at the whole picture and really think about what two deadlocked factions can do or must do in order to win a broader conflict. And what the consequences of those actions might be.

All in all, Armour Astir is a fascinating game that takes Powered by the Apocalypse in new and interesting directions. It offers novel new mechanical concepts to the system, while also featuring the familiar Playbook driven structure. The party's Carrier and their Astirs feature a refreshing amount of build it yourself by hand customization, and the freedom to craft your own world with a conflict you and your players will care about really makes the game shine in my opinion. Not to mention it's in built focus on both the micro and macro scale aspects of the greater conflict, each in their own time, without getting so lost in the weeds of spreadsheet style attention to detail of other mecha focused games like Lancer or Battletech.

If you've ever wanted to suit up in a giant robot and take the fight to the enemy, Armour Astir: Advent is an excellent option to fulfill that narrative fantasy.

[manicpixiedckgirl]

okay, so i posted a timeline. sue me! i quit all other social media last year and needed that dopamine hit. just a lil nicotine patch for online attention. seasonal depression is a bitch okay. i posted it here and to ig, bc ig is to late millennials what facebook is boomers. and people have all said some very nice things, but when you're posting a 10 year timeline, you're usually hoping for someone from your past to see it and go "woah! you're so different now"!

and whaddya know, this time it worked. one of my exes from when i was a teenager saw it. not one of the ones who turned out to be a lesbian, one of the ones who turned out to be a trans man. He just wanted to say hi - that he was so happy to see that i looked happy, and that i looked incredible, especially compared to the scruffy twink they had dated. (okay those are my words not his)

he and I didn’t have a great relationship at first - no one had a great relationship with me before i realized i was a trans woman obviously, but this was pretty young. I was really repressed and weird back then, and still very much without any social graces, and we were only like 16. they caught the full broadside of my emo fuckboy energy and got out fast once they saw that - i don’t blame them. I was crying in their arms about how much i hated my new body hair, and how i wanted to be able to wear dresses, and the next day i’d be completely emotionally unavailable and denying all of it. not exactly boyfriend material, not entirely boyfriend. They were very traumatized too in their own way, just realizing they were trans too, and engaging in a lot of ‘i want to be a gay man’ antics, fucking their way through the pain. He was frankly way too cool and sexually liberated to be wasting his time with that version of me. And it was very obvious to everyone who knew what that was 12-15 years ago that i was a closeted trans girl. we had a friend group that eventually fell apart, and we parted for the first time.

Later, in our late teens/20, we would end up fucking - i had started to accept and announce that my gender was complicated, and i was starting to be kinda faggy and loud about it, and not everyone hated that, and they had just started T and were boy horny. We split a bottle of wine (or was it two? It was probably two) and started watching an ashley tisdale movie. Looking back on it, how it went must definitely have been his plan, but i’ve always been blind about this stuff and was that night. It was definitely bad sex, but it was also fun sex - the first time I enjoyed myself,  and the pressure of having to be a guy wasn’t so overwhelming i didnt effectively black out. he’s one of the first people i ever talked to about feeling complicated about gender, and i think by then he had figured me out, and was just letting me get the rest of the way on my own. I still couldn’t top for him, i never rly could top for anyone, even before estrogen. but we still had fun, with our hands and with our mouths. and then after that, we'd go to art shows and poetry readings and hang out again occasionally, like we talked about doing when we were literal kids, putting on rocky horror in our front rooms.

but life takes you away from people, and he got into film school, and i somehow graduated my chemistry program and moved to the US. he moved to Germany for a while, although i hear he's back home. i got married, got separated, there was a global pandemic. we hadn't talked in years, although i had snooped on him once or twice. He’s a director now - he’s made some impressive arthouse films, all horror and gender and kitchy campy cerebral themes. He’s got a big tv writing credit on the way in irish tv. Idk - it felt rly good to impress him, to say hi, to remember. it's really cool to see other trans people thriving and living life, always. anyone who cleaves reality to themselves and fashions themselves into someone they can love is someone who impresses me. but it's different when it's someone you've known for almost half your life - someone you were a fucked up kid with, not sure if either of you would make it to 18. and to be smiling at each other, looking at 30, and wondering what's next. i'm really proud of the both of us actually. and i needed that today.

[popawritter12]

It's that anon who sent the yandere pyke ask can the reader be male and was a person who was friends with pyke and tried to rescue him but couldn't.

Author's note: Anon 🤝 me.

Likes Yandere

✨ Pyke✨

I really wished to do Yandere things with this man, I really hope you liked it because I LOVED how I do it.

At the same time, you will see that the beginning is somewhat poetic because I plan to present half of the story to a group of writers and readers who are not Yanderes fans, I hope you don't mind <3.

(Also, I choosed this one bcs have all the information of the relationship of the Yandere and the reader, just bcs i want you to know Anon!)

Yandere! Pyke x Male! reader

Yandere character: Pyke

From the videogame/serie/anime/movie: League of Legends.

Case: Mention of kidnapping, murder.

Part: 1 of 1.

I still hear his calm breathing next to me, I still feel his eyes watching me make mistakes and how ready he was to have a sneer on his face, ready to mock me. I still remember the stories he told during countless sleepless nights.

That's how he was; relaxed, not very talkative and quite calm with his emotions, and that was the reason why we connected with each other.

He always showed a different side to me, sometimes bordering on having another personality. It was nice to know that he could have a friend so graceful that he could reveal each and every facet of himself to me.

His words were as soft as a loom in our lonely moments, and he always fluttered my loose locks because of my short stature. His hands, rough and damaged, dry and brutish, always tried to touch me gently, although more than once, in the most escapist moments, he was brutish, and only in times of his annoyance did he refuse to even offer me a hug.

The gentle jokes, the sensitive moments, the angry screams or even indistinctly cold times, we were always together, like one brother to another, with an affection that always terrified my heart.

However, now all those moments became just mine, all the seconds of overwhelming loneliness were purely mine, not to mention the stormy nights where I felt like my mind was submerged in a bathtub, full and on the verge of overflowing with salty water.

Never, in my three centuries of life, do I remember feeling this way about someone; not for my ex-partner, much less for my marked childhood friends, and maybe and just maybe now I realize why he was so clingy to you.

With pain I return to that ship today, where the damaged and barely usable boxes due to the years of age are now an indistinct characteristic of the dirty, disgusting and putrid wooden ship. With every step, my nightmares crawl beneath me, taking my heels and seeking to drag me into my madness, seeking to take me once again to that night where everything had to go wrong.

If he told me months ago what could have happened that day, perhaps he would not have believed him, or perhaps not, but that was already a story from another line, one of which, most likely, I will never be a part.

The smell of fish invades my senses again, as if the world was attracting me back to earth, the day where I had to set sail again.

The creaking wood, the doors creaking plaintively in protest of a change of materials, and the hesitant whispers of the other workers of this horrendous crew brought me back to my early days, where he, always him, would greet me with a basic greeting, nodding his head and leading a walk towards his work area, where, out of mere habit, there was always a side reserved solely and exclusively for me.

While the waves crashed against the wood, the anchor rose, and another day was announced again, beginning again my routine, and perhaps my mental hell, where the cry of my being so precious, blaspheming that I would never let go, and that we would both get out alive if we did things right.

I still get chills remembering that night, and I barely managed to notice the inevitable passing of the day, and the constant calls for attention I received from the fat idiot who called himself captain.

I clicked my tongue at his complaints, humming a vague response that, in the end, I never followed through with. During the course of the day, I can notice the words of comfort from my companions, as they regretted knowing that someone like him had left in such a violent way and his body without being able to receive such a well-deserved rest as the burial would be.

It was still a vivid memory of the scream that that bastard gave me to let him go, threats to cut off my arm if I didn't let go and let him die, and, consciously, he bent my arm to weaken my grip and thus let him go.

I still feel that beating of my heart accelerate when my soul complains loudly, blaming my body for its weakness. And, perhaps, it was true, and if he traveled to the past one more time, I would save him without hesitation. But there would never be a third chance.

It was midnight when I calmly breathed the attenuating air in the midst of the favored wind that hit my skin, and I daydreamed that his footsteps could be heard again behind me, that he cradled his arms against the railing and rested his head lightly on his shoulder, as if I wanted to support it against mine.

I turned a deaf ear to the shouting of voices of all that persons, knowing that the profit shared was always a topic of debate, and I thought for a moment about going, but my mind simply downplayed its importance, since money was the last thing I wanted to be able to have right now.

But, even with all the laziness in the world, I just sighed, before backing away from the ship's railing, looking to get back under cover.

The smell of fresh meat was routinely annoying, and the lights off seemed a new trend due to its lack, however, I turned on the flashlight, seeking to bring calm back to the place.

But all I noticed was a painful moan, a gasp laced with blood and saliva in someone's throat. Lowering the lamp slightly, the fresh blood did not come from a fish.

With one last moan of pain, in the background the corpse was heard landing, causing a crude dull sound in the air.

Just by seeing that terrifying event with the lack of light, I knew that attack, but I couldn't help but feel weak before the amount of darkness. In the throat and in the chest, or with the heart pierced; All the corpses looked like a grotesque scene, and the putrid smell of blood took the main focus, while the sound seemed muffled at this point in the story.

And I heard that voice, that voice that had been bothering me so much for a long time.

—I'm sorry…

Soft as a gust of wind, but clinging to a lack of oxygen, the large corpse falls to the ground, the thud re-entering my senses, returning my mind to what seemed to be, my direct path to my own massacre.

Lifting the lamp a little higher, the tall shadow makes its appearance, finally showing that creature. That creature was that man, and almost immediately, my source of illumination escaped from my hands, falling to the ground immediately.

—Pyke? —I asked, my voice waterier than usual.

He took a step towards me, and the now almost non-existent lighting of the lamp illuminates the red bandana with white details in the center, and his eyes narrowed when he saw me. His look was different from the last time I saw him, and I could inevitably feel how that knot in my heart slowly moved to my throat, prohibiting me from being able to speak.

But he didn't mention anything, he just walked away quickly, but I couldn't hear his footsteps.

He couldn't even say goodbye to me with a hug, which caused me to know, realistically, that he had only hallucinated, and that in reality, it was just a murderer, a mercenary who needed to kill the entire crew. And in the distance I heard his hurried footsteps, which finally made me realize my own reality.

Upon hearing a man's scream, I noticed that his accelerated footsteps were approaching, so I could only get away from there.

Maybe that illusion was a lie, or maybe he really came back, but that story already belonged to an ending that not even I could wait for.

My feet were right on the edge of the boat, and with tears in my eyes, I just knew that he had hallucinated. He wasn't coming back, and now his existence would become a blurry memory in my crazy mind.

The shot crossed a path close to my head, so I had no choice but to tilt my body to fall into the void, to the place that had taken my best friend, and now, he claimed my soul as his property. .

My body suddenly collided with the water, and I was clinging to the unmovable boat for a few seconds, and only when the shots stopped, I had the will to swim out, even with the cold in my body, I knew that there was no other way out.

In my mind was the vivid image of him, of the mask on a face that I thought belonged to him, but that, deep down, I knew was just a hallucination.

I painfully continued against the waves of the sea, and the soft wind was now a chilling reminder that only a cold awaited me outside the water.

And unexpectedly, I could feel something roughly grab my foot, dragging my body under the water. Abruptly my mouth swallowed a few drops of the salty liquid, and my body was finally dragged beneath the dawn of the moon.

The sea was that monster that absorbed the souls of sailors, it was a fearful creature that, when you least expect it, drags your body to that end. And that end was me, I was that monster who had found that agony in this tedious and spiteful night.

-

But it wasn't, and an inhumanly large arm dragged me back to the surface, throwing my body onto the ship.

—Why the hell did you do that? —He asked, most in an angry way.

I touched the water, trying not to lose what little oxygen I had. My breath returned a few seconds later, and my hands landed against the old wood, now damp from the droplets escaping my body.

He was next to me, I can see that a long paper was in his hands, crossing out something that he preferred not to know what it was.

Upon returning to the ground, I raised my body, managing to notice how tall this guy was.

When I found myself I said right with this man, there was only one question in my mind.

—Who are you?

His brow furrowed, just as the weapon in his hands was once again placed in one of his palms. A heavy sigh leaves him.

—Is that the first thing that occurs to you to say? Really?

I gasped sharply, tears returning to my eyes. His voice was the same, it was soft, but it was stricter now. And happiness returned to my soul as if I had returned to a few days ago.

—Pyke... —Almost immediately, I jumped into his arms,—.., it's really you.

He remained stoic, and in my mind, I thought it was because of everything he had been through.

—You're different... but you're still you —I sobbed like a child, and sought refuge in that hug.

His hand wet with his blood refuses to caress my loose locks, so he limits himself to patting my back, with a white T-shirt already covered in stains from previous jobs.

—Ah, holy cow... I thought I lost you —I sighed, my tears wouldn't stop coming—, I'm so happy right now... I just..

I barely managed to separate myself from him, I just wiped away my tears. Although I tried to speak, the memory of the dead people finally brings me back to the events that happened recently.

—Pyke —I called him —, with did you kill them...?

He didn't look confused, and on the contrary, he just responded as if it were as natural as breathing.

—They are on the list.

—What list? —You asked, confused.

Then, I remember the list he was holding a while ago, which I assumed he had saved. With all of my thoughts aligned, and I could only backed away.

—What's going on? —He asked.

—Do you…

But he didn't let me finish because I crashed into a big box full of fish, and he only had to get close to me to corner me.

—Don't say stupid things—He stabbed his weapon against the fish box.

It was as if he wanted to generate something in me, but I couldn't figure out what exactly.

—You will never be on the list.

The closeness between the two was terrifyingly dark for me, but I didn't say anything, I didn't want to keep him away from me, out of the desire to never lose him, but never again.

—But... And the others? —I asked, eager for an answer.

—They? —He responded, confused, —, why are you interested now?

His hand was clinging to the weapon, while with the other he gently played with my loose locks, since that hand had no more blood stains.

—Without them I won't be able to work —I explain, trying to sound kind—besides, I don't understand what the whole problem is going to be like when I get back into murky waters, you know? There is the captain's family who is going to want the ship, some who want to buy it or who will claim me when they see how most of them are murdered and...

—You don't need them —He clarified, his tone now sounding rougher —, you don't need them anymore.

—Come on Pyke, you have to understand that I have to keep paying for things, I have to keep working, or eating, or drinking, or other things... don't you think they can accept me saying that a creature attacked us if the ship is not damaged... ?

I had to stop talking, because he just covered my mouth with the palm of his hand; It was customary for him to do things as uncomfortable as this.

—Stop worrying about those things.

And then he let go of my mouth, while I could feel some heat on my face.

—Even after death you're still the same —I joked, gently taking his hand —, don't take it so personally.

I can feel the nervousness eating away at my mind, trying to stay calm, I just gasp, and he didn't react.

A couple of seconds passed until he just moved his hand, wiping away the remnants of tears on my cheeks.

—Well, I guess we can go back now —I tried to get out of his corner, however, something stopped me—, what's wrong?

—No.

A serious but irritated whisper is heard from his mouth.

—No what..? —I ask, confused.

—You're not leaving. —He grabs my shoulder, pushing me against the large wooden box.

—Pyke, why are you acting so strange...?

—You won't leave again, I won't let the same thing happen to you that happened to me —He assured, imperturbably —, I won't allow any of that.

—But, they're already dead—I try to answer, but the grip on my shoulder becomes painful, rough, starting to hurt me. —. Pyke, you're hurting me.

—No, I won't let anything bad happen to you.

And before I could find a space in his words to respond, he abruptly approached me, almost smashing his lips against mine in a abrupt, brutal and excessively painful way for me.

I whined, I tried to struggle, I even tried to escape from his grasp, but he always found a way to grab me. Before I could do anything, he had already left irreversible marks on my skin, and his teeth so profusely marked on my neck and shoulders were only a mere memory of the night in which, my best friend, and whom I considered my platonic love, came back to life, seeking that affection and ensuring that, inevitably, the ship of which I was part of its crew never to be seen again by any human being

[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Brofloski/Eric Cartman (SP fic) one-shot

/Mad jealousy/

Times Kyle has been pissy jell.

~~~~~

(Kyle's pov)

It's been over two weeks since Cartman had announced being in a 'relationship' with Gordon Stolkie 'Jody' as Cartman's calls him 'lovingly' (who we all thought he was dead, but turns out that his remains were sent out to some lab that specializes in cloning and regeneration type of thing) I personally find it weird but Stan has told me to not think of it too much.

And as bizarre as South Park could be, it's hard to just believe that crap. I mean, it's hard cause there was even a point that ads lived among us, fuck, they're still probably we're.

And the fact that someone like Gordon could immediately want to spend time with Cartman, nonetheless be his boyfriend, is surreal and questionable.

It's not being crazy, it's being logical. That boy seem to be too good to be true. After the incident that lead to his death that boy wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. It's not like I knew him personally but he didn't seem like the type Cartman would be interested in THAT sorta way, Gordon was a 'follower' not an equal.

I can already feel this leading to a Heidi catastrophe all over again.

Not only that, but Cartman isn't dating material either, neither do I believe that crap of finally being able to be 'free' about himself and shit like that, this whole relationship is a facade and I'll make sure to expose it to everyone that I was right and not being some overdramatic 'queermo' as some of his so called friends call me.

Everyone should know better that this is CARTMAN were talking about, ofcourse theres gonna be some scheme behind it.

This past week I've been following Cartman everywhere, everyday, carefully listening to his words, outside conversations or calls. I'm not being a stalker, I'm gathering information, I don't want to slip and mess it up. I'm desperate to find clues of this ploy.

But I figured Cartman would easily catch on as he was really good on acting it all out, he played such a 'good' boyfriend act like if no one in the damn school witnessed his previous relationship with Heidi. Outside peers could see those two and actually fall into the idea of them being in love, two high chool sweetheart in the 'honeymoon phase', Cartman seemingly 'madly in love', as if he even had a heart.

At that moment I found myself cautiously watching both eat their lunch in a whole other table, ever since Cartman announced those two being together he had separated entirely from the group as if being in a relationship didn't give them a right for independence or personal space. Cartman was clinging to him like some unwanted pimple going on googly eyes and lovey-dovey stares, it's sickening.

His codependency on Gordon was sickening.

But the things I had to indulge for and get closer hints on finding some initials of some plot.

I stared intensely hoping Cartman will feel my glare from behind him and actually breakdown all the attempts of ignoring me once in for all, it'll be easier to keep an eye on him if he actually talked to them and hang out.

But he didn't even spare him a single glance, who does this fatass think he is? Acting like he's hot shit, too good to be seen hanging out with the three like if no one knew he'd sing and dance with a Justin Timberlake cutout when he was eight.

Cartman's acting like what he swore never being a 'hopeless romantic Stan' manner, it's ridiculous.

After lunch break I witnessed Cartman kissing Gordon on the cheek while waving off parting ways, I rolled my eyes by their cheesy goodbyes as if they weren't planning on walking back home together after school.

I approached Cartman from behind finally wanting to get over this stupid avoidance.

"Hey, shorty," I peeked behind as he grunted in response by the nickname.

A new nickname I found wa—y more effective in pissing Cartman off than just 'fatass' in middle school. After being the obvious shortest of the group it was easily pointed out from all of them to mock Cartman in some way. Kenny will teasingly use him as a elbow rester, Stan would ask him if he could grab him stuff that had fell to the ground as it'd be easier for him to do it and ofcourse me, I'd call him shorty.

I love how bad it gets him, he gets so easily driven its hilarious. It was inevitable for it to become my most use and favorite nickname.

Red cheeks puffed out and a glaring stare, like a angry squirrel, some cat or a koala. Those are a few animals I could think of, that resemble Cartman.

"Kahal," he answered with skeptical look by my closeness, I moved away and walked beside him in a more suitable distance.

Not that it ever been a problem between the two of them before.

"Finally letting your boy- friend get a break huh?," I asked, still being evasive with the word 'boyfriend' it just felt wrong coming out from my mouth.

"I actually have plans with him after school today," he beamed giggly, walking inside our classroom but I prevented him to do so.

"So now you're just gonna forget you even have friends for some dick? What are you dick-whipped?," I retorted back with a small bit of bitterness.

"Since when does that ever matter to you?," he pointed out, now eying me up and down.

"I don't know? Maybe if you start acting like yourself everyone wouldn't think this is some dumb scheme of yours!"

"No one thinks my relationship is fake, Kyel. You do!," He accused pointedly, "you're not the whole school you dumb ginger!"

"Well jokes on you fatass, your boy- friend IS also ginger. SO what a hypocritical thing to say."

Cartman rolled his eyes unwillingly to find a better comeback.

"Why is it hard for you to actually grasp in the concept of me being gay?," he asked, crossing his arms expectantly.

"Because you can't be gay, shorty," I exclaimed incredulous, "you never been interested in boys before and even if you ' we're ' you being in to Gordon makes zero sense? He's not the type of guy I see you being interested in!"

"And what's the type of guy I'd be interested, kahal? I'm genuinely curious to know what the ginger THINKS I'd like," He asked sarcastic.

I looked away, contemplating a answer for that as I felt Cartman gaze dig through my skin.

"Smart-" I began, now staring at the ceiling before trailing my stare to the floor, "funny?"

Cartman began checking out a imaginary list, "Gordon is both smart and funny, go on Kahal."

I frowned, continuously pointing things out purposely finding other qualities that I believe Gordon doesn't have, "fierce, competitive, someone who'll challenge you, someone who wouldn't get you bored in a month. Someone you could trust and can put you in your place when your shit just goes too far-" without realizing I've began listing things I thought Cartman should have in a partner instead of what he wanted, "caring, comprehensive, not a pushover, someone who knows you in an out, someone that can tell your bullshit miles away, someone you could rely on and have warm heart to heart moments.." I kept trailing off thinking of someone who'd fit perfectly for that place.

"Like you?," he added, tilting his head slightly.

My eyes widen in shock, hearing Cartman say that out loud really made me realize how stupidly I described myself as Cartman's possible 'ideal' partner.

I cursed myself internally.

"T-that's not- don't put words in my mouth, fatass!," I stuttered, finding it difficult to hide my red cheeks and nervous sweat.

"Jealous red bean.." Cartman said in 'awe' making me blush embarrassed, "you're jealous!," he exclaimed louder, bewildered as he pointed at me.

I flinched by the sudden gesture, defensively.

"Fuck you! you're taking things out of context fatass!," I cursed out, swallowing some saliva as a began feeling my throat dry, "why the fuck would I be jealous? And what'd you mean a 'red bean'!?"

"I don't know?-" he shrugged, watching the now empty hallway, "they remind me of your hair," he explained unfazed.

I looked at him confused, red beans do NOT resemble his hair! Do they..? Ofcourse not! That's stupid.

"And well.. don't think I haven't noticed you stalking me like a sneaky creepy jew, kahal," he tentatively said with his arms cross behind him reluctantly placing his index finger on to my chest.

I felt myself boiled, clenching my hands nervously. This motherfucker.

"And so what if I am?," I snapped back, not letting Cartman get the better end.

He looked at me with a small frown and his mouth agape, as he was in shock.

"I- uh.." he began, darting his eyes elsewhere, "wow, Kahal.. haha..," he chuckled nervously looking frantically at the classroom door that had already been shut closed.

We were forced after, to go inside the classroom by the hall monitor. The day proceeded normally and not long after (two days to be in fact) Cartman broke up with Gordon.

~~~~~~~~~

I've been dating this cheerleader girl for almost a month, her name is Bethany Steven's. She often has a thing going on with Bebe as they both argued over their last name being the same, pretty much 'rivals' at that point. I honestly don't mind as long as she leaves me out of it.

She's a cute brunette, ironically has the same eye condition as Cartman's (heterochromia) though her eyes have green and brown instead of Cartman's blue and brown eyes.

Theres just something oddly memorizing to see two different color iris in just one individual, just looking so intensely gorgeous. Captivating...

She's quite thin and has really pale skin, a button nose and naturally red cheeks.

She's an average grade student, she doesn't like sports but she likes gossip and I've noticed she's quite a bully to some girls. Though I'll let all that slide to keep my perfect girlfriend by my side, it's not like any us haven't bully a couple of kids ourselves before.

She's definitely a dream girl for any, if she wasn't a pain in the ass sometimes she'd probably be ideal in my eyes atleast.

She's too clingy, emotional and talks all the damn time. Now I understand Stan's pain when he'd be force to hear out Wendy's troubles. It's ironic how he finds himself in his place; sitting in the roundabout while she ranted about stupid girl nonsense.

Worse of it all, I haven't t been able to see what Cartman's been up to. I've been so up with my girlfriend, last week I even figured out too late that Cartman had said some racist shit on TV and I couldn't but in to shut him up. Everytime I try doing something I end up appearing too late, even Cartman has started to shift further apart from me, seemingly bored. Cartman! Bored of me!? I'm literally his archrival! He's supposed to be obsessed with me. Now he wants nothing to do with me.

"Okay, babe," I tried butting out, "I- kinda forgot I have something to do this evening," I excuse while standing up.

"What? Is it Cartman again? It's always 'cartman this' 'cartman that' what about ME? You never seem to worry about how I feel!," she complained, placing her hands in her hips.

"Dude! I literally just sat here listening you rant for over an hour!," I exclaimed incredulous, baffled by her audacity.

An hour listening to her bitchin' for what? For she to accuse him for 'not' listening, the fuck is her problem!?

"Oh? So is that some punishment now, Kyle!? I'm your girlfriend! Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship," she kept on yapping.

"I agree on that, Beth. But I want some space."

"Oh? So NOW you want some space!?"

"Oh god!," I groaned annoyed, rolling my eyes as far back as I could.

She just couldn't lay it off.

We continue arguing until we split away heading back home. Finally, I went to Cartman's to see what he was scheming already, I knocked at the door and was greeted by his mom.

"Oh hi, Kyle. What a pleasure to see you today," she greeted warmly.

"Is Cartman home?," I asked, looking behind her if I could see him anywhere near the stairs.

"Oh, well I'm afraid my poopsikins isn't home right now." she responded a little apologetic.

"Do you perhaps know where he is?"

"Yes, like I told the other boy who also came looking for Eric, he went to the karaoke competition downtown at CityWonk."

"Other boy?," I blurted out confused.

"Well, that blonde kid with the grey hat, ah.. I don't remember how Eric said his name was, I'm sorry..," She beamed before closing the door.

I dashed off, now intrigued to see what the fatass was up to.

Once arriving, I spotted Cartman and Butters snickering behind stage.

Now the chance, I smiled weirdly excited, "What're you planning on doing, fatass," I remarked bitter.

Cartman flinched surprised, "Kahal..?" he said in disbelief, slightly squinting his eyes as he looked at Butters who in returned just looked awkward.

"What?," I asked.

"Hey, fatboy! You think you can get away from me?," another voice spoke from behind making me turn his way.

It was Douglas (I don't know exactly what his last name was, I just knew he was from our school), he seemed to have loose ropes tied up around his right arm, some dirt on his left cheek and messy up hair, he also panted heavily and his eyes just screamed 'exhausted'.

As if he was struggling to get here.

"The fuck is that?," he gestured me heavily, "other minion of yours?," He asked glaringly, which made me feel offended by the suggestion.

"Fuck off, I'm here to stop Cartman's shit," I snapped back, defensive.

"NO. I'm here to stop Cartman," Douglas repeated, pointing at himself.

I turned to look at Cartman expecting for an explanation, confused by the whole ordeal completely forgotten what I was there for to begin with.

Cartman awkwardly stood there before clearing his throat and pulling slightly his shirt collar.

"Kahal.. this is my new arch nemesis," He reluctantly said, almost murmuring the last part before glancing at Butters.

"You're replacing me?," I asked baffled, glancing at both boys.

"Have," He corrected shamelessly.

Butters cleared his throat before chiming in, "Kyle, Eric needed someone who'd y'know.. have time to actually sabotage his shit, because it's just no fun if there's no one against him and well.. ever since you got your girlfriend you've been lacking just THAT and being a no good pussy stuck up tampon," he said nonchalant, as he looked at Cartman who nodded in agreement with everything the blonde said.

Cartman got bored of me.. Cartman!? Of all people.. how bad has this relationship sucking him up, maybe.. fuck, I've became Stan.

I frowned, "NO ONE-" I pointed accusatory at Cartman's chest making him flinched by the harshness, "can take my place, FATASS," I warned, shoving him aside flipping some random ass switch in the wall for who knows what it's for.

Making all the lights blast out by the power intensity.

Whoops.

~~~~~~~~~

After weeks of sabotaging and planning, finally getting rid of Douglas and getting my place back as Cartman's 'archrival', guess who decided to get back in a relationship with Gordon ball licker Stolkie none other than Eric Cartman, cause that fat fuck was a needing good for nothing whore.

I saw those two eating each other out in the hallway, wanting so badly for the bell to ring and immediately report them to the hall monitor and get them in trouble for their public display.

I hate it so damn fucking much, I don't understand why it didn't bother the others.

I walked passed them glaring at the pale long fingered hands groping on to Cartman's wide hips.

I hissed disgusted, as I enter my classroom and saw Bethany chatting with some of her friends.

I passed by her and kiss her a 'hello' on the cheek before seating down in my seat. Grumbling while I rested my chin in my hand.

The class was unbearably boring as I snapped a couple of pencils in half as the images of Cartman making out with Gordon flood my mind.

In was becoming annoyingly frustrating to see those two together, not after thinking it was gonna be over after their first breakup. But clearly something 'good' must've have kept Cartman on pursuing Gordon again, like some untamed dog, more like a heated one.

Guess he must've learned a lot from his mother, like mother like son huh?

Cartman was all over Gordon the entire week hopefully pleading to get back together, embarrassingly attempting to win his heart again and to be expected, Gordon fell in to his ropes weakly unable to handle Cartman's succubus spell.

Might aswell buy a leash, that asshole was whipped and Cartman was like some goddess to him, a goddess that'll just bat his lashes innocently and could get literally anything from him. Gordon has no clue of Cartman's wicked manipulative powers.

Now using lust and hormones to his advantage, using his body as an anchor to keep him hooked, his mouth as a sealed to keep him shut and his ass a cage to keep him put.

Atleast that's what I managed to conclude.

It was lunch break, and I went to go buy some chips in the vending machine, looking thoroughly my options I was greeted by an annoying fat bitch of mosquito.

"Hey, red bean~" I heard from behind a very, very familiar voice.

"What did you just call me?" I snapped back annoyed, glaringly judging his dumb little necklace that had a 'G' an initial, clearly.

He smirked, "well, it's only fair for me to call you something else, as I'm rarely 'fatass' to you anymore," he smugly answered as he tilted his head to the vending machine.

"That's gay as fuck you know that right?" I said bitterly as I dialed the digits of my selected choice of snack.

"Well— good thing I AM gay as fuck," he shamelessly admitted, now moving forward standing next to him, "unless you want me calling you poodle?" He chuckled mischievously looking at me with the most softest gaze.

I frowned, "fuck off, fatass."

"So— you see the thing is," he looked to his side as he leaned his elbow in the vending machine, preventing me to get my flaming cheetos, "I may have forgotten my money at home and I'm really dying for a drink," he admitted his true intentions of approaching me in a 'innocent' tone.

I scoffed incredulous, "and what? You expect ME to buy you one? Up your ass, asshole," I rolled my eyes, shoving him away as I grabbed my cheetos.

"But KAHAAAL—!" He whined as some spoiled bratty child would do in protest.

"Don't you have a boy- friend you can manipulate on buying you one?" I retorted sterling, defensively protecting my cheetos from some chubby grabbing hands.

Cartman gasped in a fake shock, "MY, Kahal, who knew you'd had it in you?" He chuckled unfazed, looking to the beverages vending machine next to them. Trailing his finger tip through the many options contemplating which he'd want.

He double tapped the glass, now staring at him with a beam.

"I want the cherry dr pepper," he said casually, seemingly not caring that I had clearly stated that I was NOT buying him any soda.

"I'm not buying you shit, fatass," I sneered, gripping on to my cheetos, hearing some small crunches as I do so.

Still not making an effort to just leave. Why can't I leave?

Why is there a invisible force that prevents me from leaving, wanting so badly to be sucked in this small bubble in which if was only he and Cartman.

He batted his eyes in attempt to lure me in into buying his coke, as IF that were to work on me.

Beaming as he were innocent with a mischievous glint in his eyes, swaying from side to side in await for me to actually do it.

I huffed taking out some spare change and putting it inside the coin slot. Just to keep Cartman's annoying mouth shut I dialed the dr pepper cherry soda pin.

Not because I fell for his dumb tactics.

It wasn't my fault Cartman's stupid boy- friend couldn't afford having to pay for his obnoxious racist bigoted boy- friend wants which lead Cartman MY way, to beg me to buy his shit instead.

It's Gordon's fault for getting into a fat selfish greedy piece of shit, and Cartman's for being a complete moron and leaving his money at home. If he even did leave it to begin with, for all I know, he could've be lying just for a free soda.

I sighed annoyed as I watched Cartman walk off and aimed for a hug to Gordon in a 'surprise' manner when he was just getting out of class.

I huffed, Gordon barely seemed to reciprocate the feeling. I attentively notice how a friend of his nudged him from the back as Cartman looked my way. Oblivious mocking me with his victorious free soda in hand, I rolled my eyes but my focus kept on the other two boys.

Huh, I wonder why Gordon would look awkwardly at that so called friend who nudged him and suspiciously gesture him the other path of the hallway.

If there's something I'm good at, it's investigating and getting answers.

I walked the other way, knowing my way on school grounds, cautiously heading the same direction as I assume Gordon went, finally spotting him as he was dragged by his hand to the second floor.

Uh lala~ how suspiciously convenient that Cartman wasn't with him, and possibly was stalled with a white little lie to run off with some dude in a completely different area far away from Cartman or possible classmates. Wouldn't even be surprised if they decide to enter a isolated empty classroom.

And for my misfortune, more like Cartman's, they did in fact enter a room, not just a room but the janitors closet.

My my! What a shocker, I wouldn't have expected that!

Who could've assumed two friends would randomly ran off and hide themselves in a empty room to do absolutely nothing to be worried of and get any negative consequences.

I leaned my ear on the door, and hearry hearry for my 'surprise' I heard smooching nosing and hard ruffling.

I took out my phone and pressed record, might aswell have proof to expose a cheater and shove it into Cartman's dumb grinning face. Stumbling down his high in a pedestal 'magnificent' boy- friend to the ground.

I recorded a bit of the suggestive noises from the outside before kicking the door open revealing two distress boys being caught in the act.

Gordon shrieked as he tried buckling his pants and the other buttoned frantically his shirt.

I smirked smugly, before turning off my camera and heading out without saying a thing.

"Wait!" I heard Gordon shout from behind me, I ignored him, uninterested in his pathetic excuses.

"Look—! Uh.. Kyle right?" He continuously followed me, nervously saying shit out, "what you saw.. it was like totally nothing and-"

I rolled my eyes by the stupidity of his words, walking down stairs to the first floor, heading straight to the cafeteria with a nonchalant expression. And the purpose to show Cartman the class of boy- friend he actually had.

"Please, Kyle! I love Eric! He means everything to me-"

I cut him off with a humorous laugh, "you called that love? MY GOD!" I wiped some tears, as I kept laughing by how ridiculous it all sounded.

He clenched his fist against his chest, determined on keeping his act up, and acting like a caring boy- friend, "Kyle, I get that Eric's your friend and you care for his well-being," he place himself infront of me blocking my way.

I rolled my eyes to that, but I left him continued for my own entertainment. Nothing is gonna stop me by showing Cartman that footage.

"But, you need to see the bigger picture here. Think about how Eric is gonna feel once- uh.. it's gonna destroy him!" He said in a 'I'm gaslighting you' kinda way.

Oh? So that's how he's gonna play.

Jokes on him, I want Cartman to break.

I want him to be destroyed.

I looked at the other 'culprit', the mistress, the home wrecker pass by in a rush avoiding ashamed both their gazes as he left outta sight.

"Mhmm," I said bored, shoving him to the side continuously walking.

"Kyle, I'll give you anything-! I have money! Please, just don't tell Eric! It'll break his heart!"

I halted, now turning his way still with a blank expression, "Okay, give me fifty bucks," I extended my hand.

He jolted, before looking through his pockets nervously his wallet and grabbing some bills.

I actually received the money before shoving it in my pockets, "Okay, cool. I'm still telling Cartman though." I said casually before dashing off.

'WHAT!?' It's what I heard behind as I went in the cafeteria.

I looked among students and spotted Cartman chatting with Butters, Kenny and Stan at a table near the end.

"Where the hell where you man?" Stan asked looking at me, now four turned my way.

"Probably jackin off," Cartman mockingly remarked with a snicker as both blondes snickered aswell sharing the same brain cell.

I frowned, feeling my blood boiling already.

"Anyways— like I was saying. Gordon's taking me out for dinner tonight. He's so— romantic and dreamy~" Cartman in a girly blabbering way continued talking 'wonders' of his boy- friend.

"Dude, I've been dealing with this all day," Stan mustered out in a 'help me' pleading way gesturing Cartman's obnoxious ranting.

"Actually-" I spoke before being interrupted by a rushed Gordon hugging tightly by the shoulders a now startled Cartman.

"Hey babe, guest the kid I was tutoring bailed on me," he shamelessly lied, kissing his cheeks as he eyed me cautiously.

I frowned, "I was about to say-"

"So, BABY," Gordon blurted out grabbing Cartman's attention once more, he seemed unsure who to look at, "we should go to the field, maybe even hid behind some benches and-" he whispered some obvious suggestive things, before glaring at me.

"Actually, Cartman you shouldn't," I began, as I took out my phone and Cartman looked my way oddly. I dodge Gordon's attempt to snatch it from me but failed, obviously.

"You see‐"

"Don't believe him, Eric! It's all bullshit!," he blurted out a little too loudly making a couple of other students turn his way.

Cartman looked my way expectantly, giving small glances to the now crowd of eyes latching to them before looking uncertain with the whole thing.

Why is Cartman looking at me that way?

Don't look at me with those sad pleading eyes, fatass!

You're supposed to be angry, annoyed maybe even bitter by making you wait this much. Not look like you're actually suspecting what I'm about to say.

Like if you're aware I'm about to call your boy- friend off as a scumbag cheater loser in front of the whole school.

I screeched frustrated, grumbling while gritting my teeth as I shoved my phone back in my pocket and walk off.

I didn't care if I got caught skipping class or get detention, I didn't want to be there. I went outside near the flag pole and leaned myself against it. Frowning in thought, zoning out in my own world. I heard steps behind me but I didn't bother to turn back.

"Kyle, thanks," I heard Gordon stupid voice, I winced with cringe, "look, I promise it was just a slip up, I knew you'd understand-"

I clenched my fists, looking at the ground furiously, I felt my eyes water by the burning feeling they emitted.

Is this what actual humiliation was? Cause that's exactly what I was feeling right there.

Humiliation.

I tsk, now turning his way, "I'm doing this for Eric, not you, don't get your shit twisted," I spat sneering, glaring intensely at those diarrhea looking green eyes.

I stepped closer, a couple of inches apart from his face, "let me get things straight," I harshly poked my finger in his chest various times, "I see you upping your way with some other guy I'll kill you, I'll literally kill you, cut you in to bits and trow you down the sewers," I warned, "and second, I don't want you going all pda infront of me because I'll puke my shit out and tell Cartman everything," I finalized coldly, crossing my arms.

I heard Gordon gulped, as he eyed me up and down in a bewildered expression. I could even see a slight blush in his face and how for a couple of seconds his eyes landed on my lips.

I walked backwards, further apart from him.

Gross.

~~~~~~~~

"Okay, babe. Let's lessen the braids now," I pleaded my girlfriend to stop.

Bethany was once again using me as a test dummy, apparently she wanted to get in to the beauty industry. So she signed up for a make-up class, at first she attempted on making me put some make up but I quickly demolished any attempts.

Noticing how her seductive tactics never worked on me.

She eventually gave in with the only thing I was willing to do for her, which was my hair. And now, I'm kinda regretting that too.

My hair was long, above my shoulders, it was heavy and messy. I personally didn't like it, it was inconvenient and it bothered me.

But man, Bethany loved it.

The day ceased and I was contemplating my red curls through the mirror reflection. Gently caressing a strain, and slowly raising my other hand that gripped on to a pair of scissors.

I smiled softly, before cutting that same strain of hair I held, cutting a couple other chunks before looking myself at the mirror again.

Now turning on the hair raiser on the side, trimming down the sides and then chomping some from top.

Fuck yes, some freedom. Some weight off my shoulders.

°°°°

"You motherfucker!" Bethany screamed at me while I looked blankly at her direction, "I can't believe you cut your damn hair off!"

"I had a haircut what's the big deal?" I excuse, I personally loved how'd it looked.

I wasn't bald, but my sides where shave down enough to pop the top of my now short curls; it was a simple undercut.

I looked great, and I felt great.

"You know damn well what you did!" She cried out, getting the attention from some of her friends before joining them with a loud huff.

I shrugged rolling my eyes, not really caring.

And my eyes, wondered to Cartman, lately I haven't been able to get my eye off of him.

Maybe it was guilt?

The guilty feeling of keeping a lie, that his unfaithful boy- friend shamelessly stood next to him probably saying sweet nothings in his ear while having his arms wrapped around him.

I despised Cartman but I couldn't help but feel pity for him.

So painfully oblivious it was becoming suffocating to handle. My gut twisted in screeching protest seeing him be kissed by Gordon or talk using disgustingly caramelized pet names, hugged or grabbed.

Everything Gordon did to Cartman disgusted me to no end, it boiled and mixed up my insides. I hated it, I fucking hated it.

I glared at Gordon as he glance at my direction, smugly watching me as if I we're staring at him.

Please, oh God how fucking stupid is he?

I walked to class deciding to ignore them, I knew why Gordon kept glancing at me.

The past two weeks he's been shamelessly flirting with me, so maybe that adds also to my stress.

As if me keeping quiet of his infidelity was some dirty invitation to pursue me instead, no shame, no care. Insensitive piece of shit. Maybe he was a ideal partner for Cartman after all? They were similar in different ways.

But fuck that, Cartman doesn't cheat. Atleast, not that anyone would be willingly cheat with him to begin with, I wonder if Cartman were to do that if he were given the opportunity to do so? But so far I haven't seen nothing remotely criminalizing he'd be interested cheating on Gordon.

Ofcourse it grosses me out, and it makes me cringe when he attempts to make a move on me, expecting me to fall and swoon for him. As if.

I really, really want to tell Cartman.

Get this all over with, but the more I looked his way the more in love I see him. Scribbling initials in class like a hopeless romantic, sighing dramatically as he'd rant about how 'great' Gordon was 24/7, there were times he'd hummed while we waited in the lunch line murmuring 'Jody~' and Stan annoyingly rolling his eyes as if he didn't do the exact shit with Wendy.

As much as I would like to see that dumb smile fall, there was another part of me that said otherwise.

My heart shrieked tirelessly as if it were working out blood with actual effort, like if one of these days it was planning on failing up on him and die right on spot.

He sighed as he dialed a pin for a snicker bar in the vending machine.

"Hey, hot stuff."

What a nice way to take all my appetite away in one swift of sentence.

"Fuck off," I spat dryly, heading to p.e class.

"C'mon Kyle, I see how you look at me."

I scoffed incredulous, "You're delusional," I shaked my head in disapproval, grabbing my snicker before walking away.

"Babe, please. Stop acting all hard to get," he placed a hand on my shoulder.

I slapped it away, "don't ever call me babe. I'll beat you up right here right now if you dare call me that again," I threatened, blood boiling hot. My body trembled by the intense hatred I had for him, I loathe every inch of that douche.

"Hey broship," I heard behind me, I flinched looking his way, "and— the love of my life..?" He asked confused looking at Gordon, wincing his features and his button nose crinkled.

"I was just asking your friend about some math problem, I heard he was a+ student on the subject so I figured I'd ask, hon," there was no doubt in my mind that Gordon was a natural pathological liar.

"O—kay..." he reluctantly said, "Jody, baby, can you give me a moment with Kahal please?" He said, not really expecting a answer it was definitely more like an order than a question.

Gordon nodded as he walked away not before winking at me behind Cartman's back.

I wanted to punch his fucking face.

"What you want, shorty?" I spat bored, more like controlling my none ending battling anger, opening the wrapper with fake disinterest and munch a bite off the chocolate.

Cartman huffed crossing his arms, reluctantly contemplating something before letting his arms go to his side defeated.

"I was actually about to show you something me and Butters were working on," he said eying my chocolate and with out asking yanked a piece from it.

I felt my cheeks heat up as I saw him eat it. I didn't even bothered protesting.

It's not like Cartman has ever stolen some food from me before, but at that moment my heart pang.

His lips were memorizing as they moved.

"Kahal?"

"Huh?" I snapped back, a little dumbfounded.

Looking now at his stargazing eyes. They we're so glossy and sparkly he couldn't tell if he was crying minutes prior or just added some eye drops on. He tended to do that often as he always complained of the dryness and stingy of his eyes.

"I said—" he continued rambling about something but I zoned out immediately.

My god.

As if lightning strike me like a truck, like all the moments they had flooded my mind that instant.

In bliss seconds everthing was revealed to me.

I'm crushing on Cartman.

My eyes widen as I felt my mouth drop, my heart pounded rapidly by the overwhelming new coming feelings.

No, I'm in love with with Cartman.

I dashed out of there ignoring a offended fatass who cussed profanities at me, by that point I was long gone school grounds heading to stark pound, there's was no way I'll let officer Barbready catch me ditching but I also didn't want to be in school.

I sat in a near by bench, plopping myself defeated with my hands covering my face.

I dragged my nails deeply pressed against my cheeks trailing down the sides. Feeling flaming marks form, as I screeched out loud in disbelief.

~~~~~~

So far I've managed to get my thoughts to not betray me. I ignored any sign that told me otherwise to look at Cartman far from just being my arch rival.

Keeping my mind occupied with school and hanging out with Stan in the farm trying my best to distance myself from Cartman but not be so bluntly obvious either. Or then the fat motherfucker would catch on and look in to it.

There was no other way, but to keep my focus on Beth and continuously turning any pursuing attempts Gordon's has done twoards me.

Fucking asshole.

Last friday he snucked in the boys locker room while P.E had ended and caught me off guard with just a towel on my waist, he was naked purposely trying to seduce me.

Ofcourse that didn't work, but the boldness left me baffled. I should definitely report him for sexual harassment that fuck is wrong with that dude?

The vivid images of his dick disgust me, it was so fucking traumatizing.

Ew.

It really made me questioned if I've ever felt any attraction towards men, his dick being exposed didn't turn me on or even seemed remotely arousing. It was far the opposite.

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, my eyes squinted in cringe. It was foolish, he seemed like a clown that did a embarrassing trick that'll make you desire to be eaten by a hungry hyena rather than hear and witness their shit.

Besides, I've never been interested in a dude before noneless check them out. And I've seen many dicks before, while being expose to those type of things since children, seeing my friends change and take showers at the boys locker room. Nothing too captivating or mind shocking.

So how the hell did my mind get to the conclusion I was in to—

No.

I shocked my head fanatically, stopping at the bus stop. Feeling the weather change abruptly as it became windy, feeling his cheeks freezing.

I sighed letting out some cold steam, looking to my side a chubby brunette approach, grumbling while stumbling side by side stomping the snowy path with boredom.

His cheeks were red and puffed up, as he sunk his face in the yellow scarf he had around his neck breathing harshly as he took in the cold.

"Red bean," he mustered out while shaking off some snow from his sneakers.

"Maybe if you actually listen to me for once, you wouldn't be struggling to walk pass snow," I stated, while I gesture his sneakers with a slight kick on the top side.

He groaned, "I'm not gonna wear gay ass boots, kahaaaal" he blurted out, rolling his eyes, huffing while gritting his teeth frantically. The cold was getting to him, even under all that fat he always took it was worse than I did.

"Well I hope you sink with all that weight then," I bitterly said, while taking out my phone attempting to end the conversation already.

I heard Cartman grumbled out a 'brrrr' while rubbing his gloved hands and exhaling some air out in a huff in attempts to warm himself up.

I hated how my heart squirmed weakened, wanting badly to help.

I sighed annoyed, puffing my cheeks as I felt myself reddened in anger.

I place myself infront of Cartman making him blink in surprise.

Placing my also gloved hands on his face, gripping tightly to those rounded cheeks of his, ignoring Cartman's obvious dumbfounded stare.

I gritted my teeth attempting to not curse myself out for how pathetically ridiculous I looked and embracing myself in a hug.

My god. It felt nice, even felling Cartman flinched in surprise and hesitantly wrapped his arms around me.

"Something hit you on the head or something, jew?" He chuckled out nervously. I could tell by how he stuttered out some words.

Feeling him burying his face against my chest made me scream internally how off putting this all is.

I hesitantly loosen out from the grip and let go, Cartman stupidly held his arms out still dumbfounded by the whole thing. I must say, I really held it in me to not smile by that.

"Next time use a thicker sweater, shorty," I coughed out awkwardly, placing myself back in my spot.

"U-huh.." he mustered, mouth still hanging loose and a blank expression adorned his face

Atleast he looked less frozen.

He shook his head fanatically, "hold up, I forgot!" He exclaimed now searching in his pockets and grabbed his phone.

With a tooth eating grin he shoved his phone infront of my face.

"What the hell is this, fatass?" I frowned, reading the article.

"Hahaha it's what me and Butters been working on. I told you we had planned on vengeance for what Mr Martbutt did to us" he place his hands in hips, proudly.

I regretted ever hugging that motherfucker.

"That's fuck up, turd face" I snarled, angrily. Seeing Cartman beam by that, knowingly

Even though Mr Martin was a dick for taking our lunch break that one time, no one deserved being publicly shamed for... 'parental negligence of his child and secretly having an affair with a high school student (Bradley Thomason, a senior) he reread the title. Okay, maybe he did deserve it, but, it could be a blant lie coming from Cartman.

"Dude, don't be a dick"

"You don't believe me? Ask Bradley he was expelled a week ago," he howled in laughter as if we're actually funny.

I didn't find it funny. If that boy was actually manipulated in to being with an old ass fifty year old man, people should feel pity for how his chances on getting into a good school are now numbered. Probably his hopes and dreams were now crushed.

That, or he was fucking Mr Martin for a good grade in algebra.

I rolled my eyes, "just don't get me involved in your shit, fatass."

He chimed delightful as he typed in his phone.

Finally I saw both Kenny and Stan walk to the bus stop, about time. Being alone with Cartman can be too much.

°°°°°

Munching on my sandwich carelessly, Butters approached the table seating excitedly as if he was about to blurt out something.

'I wonder what could that be' I thought sarcastically while rolling my eyes annoyed.

Cartman wasn't at the cafeteria which was odd, cause today was cheesy fries tuesday, but I didn't see him at all in sight.

I wished upon ever ounce in my body that he was caught for the article and somewhat got in trouble for it.

"Did you guys hear?" Butters asked putting in a straw in his milk.

Kenny looked his way, "about Mr Martin being a perv? Long old news, dude," he shrugged disinterested.

"No, about Eric."

My eyes darted his way, 'was I right after all?'.

I looked smugly as I bit by water bottle holding in a 'ha' before biting my lip still listening to Butters.

"Well, turns out his going stargazing with Gordon tonight," he said casually.

Okay, that wasn't exactly what I expected to hear.

"That's gay," Ironically Craig commented.

"Yeah, that's what Eric said too," he nodded agreeing, "but that's not all, supposedly he's gonna have sex with him tonight, he's gonna finally become a man!" He cheered out proudly, clasping his hand together.

Everyone there gasped, with me being the exception. My mouth fell in disbelief and my brows knitted together in concerned.

"It's about fucking time that fat fuck loses his v-card," Kenny stated shaking his head disappointed, "I've been telling him since he first got with Gordon to get it over it and stop blabbering about wondering how it felt taking up some dick instead of being a pussy about it and mustering the courage to do it."

"Aw dude, yuck," Stan winced out dramatically, brutal images of Cartman in fours probably appearing in his mind.

Kenny snickered knowingly causing some of the other guys to wince mortified.

"I can't believe Cartman is gonna lose his virginity before I have," Clyde said in disbelief, slapping his forehead seemingly not believing it, "does it count if it's with a dude?" He tried saving himself, but Craig just shrugged in response.

Everyone there atleast once had sex with the exception of Clyde and Scott.

I was kinda pressured on doing it with Beth, now being in high-school it was pathetic to be labeled a virgin, it wasn't magical or remotely special, and it was definitely not my proudest moment. But Stan and Tolkien insisted that it was just necessary for manhood, or some shit like that.

Butters was dared to do it with a hooker as he also had pass the expiring limit, and Kenny, well its Kenny. Who knows when it was his first time.

Stan obviously did it with Wendy in the beginning of middle-school, which was such a shocker for all of us at that time, it was his biggest accomplishment yet apparently.

The fact that both he a Kenny out of the four were already non-virgins just pin pressure on both me and Cartman. We argued sometimes on who'd be a virgin last but at the end Cartman ended up losing eventually, once he heard from Clyde that I slept with Bethany at a movie date we had some saturday night.

In all honesty, I was feeling a little uncertain now knowing that Cartman would lose it with someone who's been unfaithful to him from the start.

Clearly Cartman could've done it by now, but he hasn't. Cartman was bigoted but we all knew how emotionally deranged he was.

When it came to sensitive topics like that, he'd act out like he didn't care but we all saw through his bullshit. He did care, a little too much to be in fact.

He was an emotional brat. And Butters has sometimes exposed him from being one big cry baby. Not that we didn't know by now.

And by what Kenny said, it may seem Cartman wasn't feeling ready for it until now..

He's probably the type that waits for the right person and right place imagining it happening like some rom-com. And by my own experience, I would've preferred it being with the right person aswell and not pin pressured on doing so like I did.

If I could change how my first time would've been, I would've waited.

But I couldn't, but..

Now looking at both blondes snickering seemingly arranging something, knitted my brows in contemplation.

I could prevent a friend by making a choice he'll regret later.

Theres no way I could let Cartman do it with a unfaithful piece of shit like Gordon Stolkie, he'll probably go into a killing spree if he finds out how the 'man of his dreams' was just a facade and he wasted his precious time and lost something with value for him because he was blindly in love with a douche.

Even if that meant Cartman would be pissed knowing I hid it from him.

I couldn't let Gordon Stolkie fuck Eric Cartman.

°°°°°

I looked attentively through the hallways acting as if I wasn't desperately trying to find shorty.

I opened a couple of classrooms receiving a couple of odd stares from some students.

Where was Cartman?

I looked everywhere but nowhere to be seen, I accidentally bumped in to someone as I was looking at some of Bethany's friends.

I looked infront and Gordon smirked as he gripped my arms.

"What a a nice way to greet someone, Brofloski," He grinned widely.

I frowned, shoving him off, "where's Cartman?" I asked reluctantly, still glaring at him.

"Hmm.." He contemplated in thought, before smiling deviously, "I'll tell you if you let me kiss you on that pale neck of yours," I winced just by the thought.

I slammed him harshly against the drinking fountain making him flinch in surprise with a small 'yelp' coming out from his mouth. I felt some of the students gather up probably looking for something to gossip about.

"I'm not fooling around, asswipe. Where's fatass?" I sneered, giving him another shove making him wince as his ass was already getting soaked by sitting on a moist water bin.

"Alright, geez," he surrender freaking out as he glance at a couple of students in the crowd of watchers, keeping carefully his hands far apart from my chest, "He ditch school for something, he didn't tell me what, man."

"You didn't even bother asking where?" I asked incredulous.

"Uh, no..?"

I scoffed as I shoved him once more, letting go as I wiped my hands from any Gordon germs in my jeans.

"Cartman's a maniac if you didn't know that by now, you should know he's always up to something," I sneered, finally storming off.

I pushed some students aside that were in my way, finally walking out the entrance.

I took out my phone and called him like five times, the six being the charm.

"What you want," He harshly spoke on the other line, "I'm busy, jew."

"Yeah, where the fuck are you?" I spat, not wanting to waste any more time.

"What you mean, that's none of your business," he said in protest, I rolled my eyes.

"Where. Are. You," I said tentatively, "I need to speak with you. It's important," I reluctantly admitted, kicking some snow.

There was a brief silence, but I heard a bunch of ruffling and people in the background as if he were in a public place.

"I'm at Jessica's dresser," he admitted, "DON'T you dare say anything," he lastly say before hanging up.

Jessica's dresser was a clothing store at almost the near end of the town, mostly targeted for girls but they did have a small section for men.

Cartman is such a gaywad.

I called a Uber, and was there in like 25 minutes.

I went inside, looking through the sections. And spotted him in an instant.

He was seemingly caressing some fabric blue shirt, having in arm a pile of clothing.

"Shorty," I spoke, making him turned my way.

"If it isn't the jew," he said nonchalant, continuously eyeing some shirts in the hangers, "this is like the fifth time this month I've seen you ditch school. You're becoming quite a rebal."

I rolled my eyes by his obvious snarky remark.

"What're you doing here?" I asked firstly, arching a brow by how he looked at himself in the mirror with a shirt placed in front of him. Seeing how'd it look on him.

"Should I take this blue one or the pink one?" He asked dodging my question, gesturing a blue shirt with two white stripes and a salmon pink shirt with a small nike logo place on the left side near the armpit.

I shrugged, confusingly, "I don't know, either look okay?"

He rolled his eyes, "I knew jews didn't know anything about fashion," he commented before tossing carelessly the blue on the racket as he beamed looking at himself with the pink one, "pink is definitely my color."

I inhale deeply saving myself by remarking anything, grabbing the blue shirt and putting it back in its hanger.

"Cartman, I may have heard about something in school.." I started eyeing the rackets instead of him, looking through some clothes a little lost.

"Hmm??" He hummed, as he slid on that same pink shirt on top of the white one he was wearing, "I look amazing," he mumbled, not paying me much mind.

I frowned now glaring at him, "do you have plans tonight?"

He side eyed me, "let me guess, Butters already told you guys?"

My eyes widen, once again, Cartman was one step ahead of me. Goddammit.

"So it true.."

"Yeah, I'm excited," He clutch to his shirt, "do you think he'll like it? Or should I go more casual?" He said gesturing a set of clothes he had already matched.

It was a green shirt and some khaki shorts.

"Cartman-" but Cartman again, ignored me looking under some of the pair of pants he picked.

He placed infront of me some lingerie, my eyes widen as I felt my cheeks bloom reddened, as I glance away a couple of times, my mouth hanging.

"You think I should go full whore, cute 'I'm under your possession' or classy slut?" He kept on asking questions not really expecting a answer from me, as he kept rummaging his selection.

"Cartman!" I finally made him snapped in my direction, a pink bunny lingerie in hand.

I slowly looked down at the set before placing my gaze right back up.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to go sleep with Gordon."

"Why? Ofcourse you'd say that," He groaned annoyed, defensively throwing the lingerie in a chair. "It's so— easy for you to say that, you already slept with your bitch girlfriend and now that you see that I'm also gonna take a hit you want to drag me down from experiencing it myself don't you, kahal!"

"That isn't true, fatass. Shut the fuck up," I reluctantly looked at my side as a employee pass by eyeing us suspiciously.

He placed his hands on his hips, "Gordon is my boyfriend I don't see why that's an issue now," he hissed out loud, cheeks heating up.

"It's not- Cartman It's not about who you do it with. It's about GORDON, you shouldn't do it with him, that's what I'm trying to tell you," I softly explain, trying my best to not make him lose it inside the store.

"Why NOT?" he sneered, leaning his body forward, glaringly.

I bit my lip, maybe telling Cartman that Gordon is a pervert cheating douchbag in the store wasn't a good idea.

"Cartman, just trust me on this," I sit myself down in one of the waiting chairs, looking up at Cartman.

He still kept his defensive posture.

"Fuck you, dude. I'm getting layyed tonight and that's final," he spat out bitterly, huffing before picking up the clothes he choose.

Walking now to the register, I stood up and followed him grumbling profanities as I looked down at the back of Cartman's shoes.

"Hello, what can I help you with today?" The cashier, seemingly our age, greeted beaming.

"Just this," Cartman said with the opposite enthusiasm, placing his clothing in the register as the blonde boy a tag with the name 'Tyler' plastered, began scanning them.

He slightly eyed Cartman then at myself, I arched a brow.

Was he questioning the lingerie? Or did he think we were some couple. Either way, I felt embarrassed avoiding my gaze and looking elsewhere.

"Are you two like.. together?" he heard the cashier asked Cartman, I looked up now attentive.

It was obvious what he was inquiring, after all, you don't see two dudes casually walking out with lingerie on a daily average.

Cartman winced, "what? Noo!?" He blurted out a little too exaggerated, making this look even more suspicious to the eye.

"Friend then?" He chuckled, as he continuously scanned the clothing, "are you into dudes?"

"Excuse me, do I look gay to you?" Cartman huffed offended.

"Kinda," the blonde admitted with a smirk.

Cartman crossed his arms as he looked my way then at the blonde.

I saw Cartman smirk, as he leaned against the counter, "maybe— interested?" He taunted raising his brows in a playful manner.

Tyler seemed to not be faze by that, more like pleased.

Oh.

That fucker was actually flirting with him, Cartman's so stupid he's probably no expecting for he to retort his way with the same attitude back.

And I was right, cause fatass jolted in surprise when Tyler actually admitted that he was, in fact, interested.

"Yeah, I am," he admitted boldly, smiling lightly as he introduced a code in the computer, "don't meet many cute guys like you around."

I looked at Cartman and he was red as a tomato, glancing my way 'discreetly' as he was more embarrassed of the fact that I was there.

He cleared his throat, "i- I actually have a boyfriend," he mumbled out now looking at the door.

Tyler huffed playful, "I knew you two were something," He chuckled as he finally finished scanning the items.

I kept eyeing Cartman's reactions, it was more entertaining than being considered as his boyfriend. It was funny to see how Cartman would shrug it off as if it didn't affect him in the slightest when his facials said otherwise.

When he'd flip the cashier off saying 'as if' then finally walking out of the store.

Cartman was hella flustered, he looked cute.

Fuck.

He looked cute.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, walking beside him as I heard him complained about the audacity of people and their stupid assumptions and shit like that.

My mind filled with images of Cartman wearing that pink stupid shirt and khaki shorts trying to impress me. I inhale deeply, exhaling loudly not caring if Cartman heard me.

"Okay, jew. Why are you still following me," I finally snapped back looking at Cartman, "like, I already told you I'm still gonna fuck Jody, nothing is gonna change my mind," he kept on going.

I tsk, I know damn well how stubborn Cartman can be when he truly wants something.

I sighed taking out my phone, might aswell do it now.

I grabbed Cartman's arm as I dragged him near a fountain, Cartman cursing him out while he was being dragged.

"Look, shorty. You know that as much as we're rivals and hate each other," I began, gesturing Cartman to sit down, which he reluctantly did as he now looked at me attentively, "at the end of it all we've been through alot together, we've been there even in the worse scenarios and by this point being 'something' isn't just nameless. We're friends and‐," I gulped, grasping some air, feeling Cartman's intense gaze on me," I care, like, I really do, fatass. I'm not fucking around here, I'm being serious," I looked his way and I could see some fondness in his features, those damn eyes digged holes inside my heart.

"Cartman, this.. this is gonna be hard to say but, it's the right thing to do and- I just hate seeing you blindly oblivious to it," I extended my phone to him, "you should see this. It's been going on for awhile."

~~~~~~~~

I was expecting Cartman to snap, probably plot something against Gordon or cuss me out for keeping it a secret for that long but the only thing I received was a blank expression as he gave my phone back and left, leaving his purchases in the fountain.

He still goes to school but his motionless expression kept the same. Blankly staring at nothing while in class, lunch and p.e class.

For what Kenny has told us, he mopped in his room all day once back home; layyed down carelessly in his bed doing nothing but watch the side of his wall.

It reminded him of Stan during his first breakup, even Stan admitted he could actually resonate with Cartman and to just give him time.

But in all honesty, no one knew why they broke up with the exception of me and I kinda suspect Butters too, but point be told, they didn't know.

They only knew that Gordon was throwing me shade for 'ruining' their relationship telling Cartman the truth. But nothing was specified or even confirmed by me or Gordon.

I sighed entering Cartman's home alongside Stan and Kenny. We went upstairs to the familiar bedroom. Looking at the sad lump displayed infront of us.

"C'mon, Eric. Don't worry I'll find you some better dick," Kenny spoke, trying his best to cheer him up.

They all suspected Cartman may had been bummed out for not being able to get a hit before getting dumped, but that was far from the real reasons.

Stan believed that Cartman may had said something or done something stupid enough to piss Gordon off making the breakup inevitable.

While Kenny strongly believed it was because Gordon didn't want to take a hit with Cartman.

After seeing Cartman mopped around these past day's finally actually seeing him being this pathetic over some douche really pissed me off.

"C'mon, fatass. They're other dudes out there," I spat angrily, tired of his downer attitude, "you're not like this, you've never let anything pinned you down like some complete emo bitch."

Cartman huffed, after days of not hearing his voice, it felt kinda surreal.

"You're the one to say," It was raspy, and I could already hear the bitterness in it, "you butt fucking traitor, you're an hypocrite asshole," he scoffed as he placed a hand on his forehead.

I felt Stan and Kenny eye me but kept themselves silent.

"Look, Cartman. I know you're upset, but it isn't a big of deal. People break up here and there all the time you'll find another match-"

"¡FUCK YOU, KYLE!," he screeched out loud, sitting down as he now glared at me. He was fuming and his eyes were glossy red, not the glossy eyes I'm use to.

Cartman's always so confident and unfazed by many things, mostly while confronting me. But this is by far the first time I've ever seen him be this wrecked, so.. emotionally driven. It really seemed like this actually got him to break down all the layers I've been wanting to see after years of failed attempts.

His humanity, his heart, the vulnerability in his eyes as they water holding down some tears from coming out. Genuinely being in pain.

Some douchbag had actually got him to break with such ease.

"We'll leave you two alone to sort things out," Stan spoke before gesturing Kenny to follow.

Both awkwardly left closing the door behind them.

I went to check that they weren't actually eavesdropping and I looked at Cartman.

"Cartman, if I didn't tell you it's because I was worried for your own sake," I admitted now more freely, just being the two of us.

He laughed, "wow— it really seemed like it," he sneered, giving him cold stare, "did you like seeing me act stupid? Were you enjoying seeing me pathetically fall in some assholes lies? Is that it? Are you into seeing me suffer or being humiliated!?"

"No I don't, Cartman," I bluntly said, unfazed by his assumptions, he's deflecting I know he's hurt so it's obvious he'll try to cover it up by spiteful comments, "at that time I really did want to tell you, but there was this other side that didn't. Cartman you really had this huge view on someone, an image you couldn't just stop contemplating as perfect. And there's nothing wrong on viewing your partner as the most perfect being of your universe.

That's how love is supposed to be, loving your partner unconditionally and still viewing their flaws in a whole, perfect.

But how your view on Gordon made it blankly obvious you'd fall disappointed knowing the truth of it all.

No relationship is perfect Cartman, there's no such thing as the perfect man out there. And I know Gordon may had seem like the perfect dude that had it 'all' but he's just one outta the bunch.

And for your dismay, he's one of the few douches you'll encounter during your lifespan.

That doesn't mean it's over for you, Eric," I looked throughly into Cartman's eyes, he now looked more relaxed, but his eyes still glitter in sadness.

"Eric I was scared to hurt you, sometimes it's like you view the world differently it makes it harder for you to grasp in reality," I saw how he clutch his side while looking downwards taking in my words, "I felt you wouldn't understand me and pinned the blame on me somehow just to dismiss the idea of Gordon ever doing that to you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I kept it from you, and I'm also sorry I still managed to hurt you in a way, that you have to experience being cheated on and still lied to.

I really just wanted to be a good friend that didn't want to see you get hurt by the betrayal, but I think I just worsen it," I sucked in some air as I felt my eyes sting.

Finally being able to take it all out, my heart beating slowly as I felt myself sinking with each word.

"I love you, Eric," He looked my way baffled, mouth agape, "I love you just as much as I hate you.

You're one of my best friends, it's hard not to care." I waited for a response, as he kept quiet for a whole minute before moving to the side of the bed, facing me.

"Kahal... that's— pretty gay," he smiled lightly in his usual manner.

I smiled back not helping myself on holding back some laughter, lounging myself on to Cartman in a big warm hug.

I felt him digged his nails in my jacket, as he gripped tightly his face once more, buried in my chest.

And in a blink of an eye, I pushed him down gently now laying in the comfortable matress while I layyed on top of him my head resting in his shoulders. Letting myself embrace the warmth given by him, feeling his legs wrapped around my waist as we still didn't let go.

His hands slid down lightly in my back, and rubbed in circles while I felt our breathing synchronize, and his heart beat against my hand that rested on his chest.

I kissed him in seconds, he kissed back just as desperately. Feeling a long going flame burst even stronger, my crotch rubbed against his making it spread further.

In desperate attempts to take off his clothing, then mine and feel our skin touch.

The ongoing heat spreading inside our bodies, the bedsheets filled with sweat, tears and other ongoing pleasures. The creaking noises the bed resonated while moaning echoed the room.

I was Eric's first.

~~~~~~~

As expected, I broke up with Bethany.

I couldn't bare being in a relationship that I knew would not head anywhere, besides that, I was also a terrible boyfriend. And, well the cheating part too.

Too worsen it all, I now have an annoying clingy bitch taking the place she had previously had won, and ofcourse Cartman overshadowed anyone that could possibly become a interest of mine so he easily took the empty place in matter of seconds. He also can't leave me alone after the incident, he's unbearable.

I needed to sort things out before I have a talk with Cartman about what happened, but meanwhile I dismissively avoided bringing up the subject. It didn't seemed he mind, he was content that I still talked to him and let him get a little bit more touchy than he'd usually be.

It's not like Cartman isn't known to be a person who respected personal space anyways. And it's not like I mind either.

But having Cartman be so clingy to me doesn't let me concentrate on my thoughts and feelings.

I also tried avoiding any attempts of kissing or hugs, that'll just make me lose it and forget the small percentage left of my sanity.

Having sex with Cartman was exactly how I imagined my first time being; it was awkward, new, fitting but it felt right, being with a person I desired so vividly. Practically learning how to keep up with the pace and learning how to properly positioned ourselves.

Cartman stealing some of his mom's lube in attempts of making it any better (cause Kenny told him it was necessary for butt fucking), and technically in a way, it was my first time aswell?

I've never been with a dude before, so in that sense it was my first, and none only with Cartman an un-experienced hormonal teen, not that I wasn't one myself but I had done sex before. So I already knew what was I getting into, Cartman on the other side reacted with each touch, kiss and nibble, and a hot as that was I couldn't just jump on him and devour ever inch of his body. It felt like I needed to make it special for him, appealing. Just like I thought he'd picture it being.

And that just made me do things with cautious, technically 'awkward'.

The feeling on the other side was immaculate, his gestures and moaning were luring me into depths I didn't know I could get in to. Every sloppy kiss he'd give me blurred my mind and each touch burned.

Making me want more, enjoying the feeling of his hands going all over my back having him dumbly suck on my neck leaving just small red marks that vanished quickly as a rash.

Scratching my back hard as he digged his nails in me while I licked the back of his ear dragging my tongue to his neck.

Yeah, all that was immaculate. Nothing could compare to the feeling of having Eric Cartman under me, being under my full possession letting himself be felt by my untamed hunger and heat, submitting to me like if he had always wanted to be pinned down by my grotesque grip and take it up the ass, thrusting furiously back and forth leaving him breathless, kissing him lovingly in his neck and cheeks, someone he claimed hatred twoards, someone he'd tormented for years because he 'loathed' him. His archrival.

Kyle Brofloski.

Yeah, I fucked him. I fucked that piece of shit, and I loved it. I loved ever second of it.

[galaxysharks]

HSMTMTS Maddox Autism Analysis

I had to use my laptop for this one, cause I'm not about to write all this shit on mobile. However, I shall not be adding gifs and pics to this one, cause i don't have those on my laptop, and i think there is a limit to those anyway. This one's long, and not guaranteed exhaustive cause my memory is Meh, at best.

Anyways, Onward!

General Info

So just from Promotional Material for Season 3

Maddox:

Techie Who always follows the rules.

The most excited person for Camp.

Hates Change

Comes to the same camp every year

From these, we already can see the building blocks of a targeted interest and a need for routines. The always following the rules is reminiscent of Autistics not breaking rules due to simply not thinking to.

Once the show itself aired, Maddox pretty quickly showed multiple indicators as well. For the sake of organization, I'm going to break these down as Tics and Tendencies and give a few examples, rather than by episode.

Irritation/Panic at unexpected changes in schedule

Saylor mentions frequently that Maddox is really struggling in Season 3 because for the first time, something is drastically disrupting this yearly escape. Unlike Ricky who, while panicking at the change, is able to actively work against it, Maddox struggles with fighting the change and usually must physically remove herself to prevent a more extreme reaction.

Maddox begins already thrown off due to Jet being sent with her to camp.

Dislikes when the Auditions is interrupted by Jet arriving an hour late.

She isn't hanging out with EJ this summer, likely due to feeling thrown off that he brought an entire troupe of friends.

Literally everything in Woman in the Woods - and going to her hiding spot to avoid a full meltdown.

RCOSL changes how she normally does the set direction in order to cause drama - again runs off after her and Jet's fight.

Really struggles with Madison's initial appearance at camp.

Realizes she signed to go to NZ before getting with Ash, and completely removes herself from the post-production celebration that LITERALLY every other character attended.

Very Literal Speaking

Several times when Maddox accidentally gets herself in trouble its because she says something that doubles as a pointed metaphor, even though she was being literal.

"...that kind of bond is....Forever"

"...you just got to commit to one side, of the boat....or else you'll fall in..."

"You have two minutes" - and actually timing it

"....and well, life has other plans..." - not realizing Ash could take this as an attack on her relationship.

"...Yeah my crystals haven't charged in like a month" - thinking Jet is literally taking about what she was actively doing.

Scripting

Maddox has multiple moments where she communicates using a clearly practiced script, and a few where she struggles once someone doesn't react how she expected and she did not have a response ready.

Shallow Lake Welcome Song

Introducing herself in the Honeycomb

The automatic little Thank yous when that one kid compliments her at a few points in the season.

The safety information on Newbie Night

The Woman in the Woods story is scripted - she gets interrupted and starts mixing up scripts when trying to get back on track.

Truly awful improvised scripting during RCOSL. Also not having the words to tell Carlos to lay off the whole 'hot for Jet' thing.

Memorizing all the lines she would need as a PA on the flight.

We literally see her scripting her confession to Ash.

Fumbling through talking to Ash about the NZ move, as she didn't think it was a conversation she was going to need to have.

Info Dumping

When Maddox gets excited, she frequently starts info dumping without thinking about it, usually while also kind of tuning out whats happening around her.

Several times in 3x03

Talking about her favorite nigh before she realizes no one is listening.

again when leading the group to the tents, when she is giving the rules and safety information.

Info dumps about rising signs before Ash gets upset and leaves.

general tips for color wars with Gina in 3x06

Snapping

Maddox tends to snap when deciding what to say to someone.

When she calls out Carlos for changing the cast list

We can hear a snap when she first asks Ashlyn if she was a Leo rising

She snaps when getting annoyed at Jet and Ricky when she directs them

She snaps after finishing her script for confessing to Ashlyn

Tapping/Clapping

Maddox claps and taps things when idling or when she is in between actions. Generally, if she's not got her hands in her pockets and isn't holding something, then she's doing this.

Maddox taps her hands together after Ashlyn catches her attention about the letter.

Clapping hands together as she talks when entering the honeycomb.

Taps on the set pieces when not using the drill.

Claps her hands with the paper star when Carlos suggests she likes Jet.

Taps on the bunk beds while talking to the girls after Camp Prom.

Taps on the broom while cleaning after Opening Night.

Claps her hands while talking to Ash in the hallway when walking to set.

Taps the tree stump that Ash hands her.

Shaking Things

Not as common as the tapping, but if Maddie is only using one hand she tends to shake the object she's holding.

The Letter to Big Red

The Markers after signing the wall.

The pamphlet on PA barking

Facial Expressions

Maddox's face tends to either be way more expressive than expected for the response she is giving, or way less. When she is alone, or with friends/Jet, her expressions are more free. she spends less time guessing and just lets her face to whatever its going to.

During RCOSL, her expression is almost unchanged, probably due to having to think about it constantly.

Once Newbie Night started going downhill, she paid more attention to seeming fine.

She is a lot more open in the fourth season, except with Quinn, where she remains professional.

Special Interests

More than pretty much everyone, Maddox has clearly defined interests

Camping

Set Design

Production

Possibly 80's style Camp Humor/Horror

Avoiding Adverse Stimuli

Okay so Maddox has exactly ONE coping mechanism, and its removing/Distancing herself from the situation.

Stands by the stage instead of joining the crowd on Welcome Day.

Does not return to the Bunks until very late.

Sits alone brooding when Jet takes off

Goes to hiding spot after scary story is interrupted

Stays by the wall for much of movie night

Building set/Managing costumes alone, instead of adjusting to help.

Operates more or less ALL of stage alone using a switchboard. Including in Season 4, when we know she has stagehands available.

Goes to hiding spot after argument with Jet.

Goes to probably commit balloon homicide before Jet stops her.

Hides from Ash to avoid NZ conversation.

Mentions that she doesn't actually attend Camp Prom all that often and normally goes to prank the boy's bunks.

Its okay, she'll probably get better about this with her now robust support system.

Anyway, there is definitely more, but this is what i can remember without immediately re watching the show again and going episode by episode.

[ambiguouscheese]

hello !! i'm here for the elaborate aesthetic matchup thingy ? ?? first time doing this so i hope i'm doing this correctly lmao

i'd like nevermore pls :)

personality: enfp // isfj 9w1, virgo. i'm super bubbly and enthusiastic like your normal manic pixie girl. i'm also fairly quiet irl, just kind of . vibing? idk. i'm super morbid, and i adore learning about gory details.

i like candles, moths, snakes, and mythology. i don't like roaches, loud people, or attention seekers. feet, too. don't like those. some hobbies of mine are embroidery, ballroom or folk dancing, rollerskating, dressing up, and making paper dolls.

color ? ? ? probably a dark purple or a bright yellow. no clue.

my favorite music//artists -probably hozier, miracle musical, ABBA, blondie, laufey, and Billy Joel.

soup dumplings, watercolors, lily of the valley's, satin ribbons, and fizzy drinks probably represent me ??

there aren't really any tropes that i like. DESPISE. probably ones where they just hate eachother. i cannot stand surrogate siblings, like kaeluc or something.

i adore any oblivious x super flustered tropes, or where one character has like a panic attack and the other is super soothing. idk man.

i have to request not to give me montresor or duke. montresor is a given but duke is like. bestie material .

i'd prefer an adult guy for the character :)

thank you so so much !! i hope this was enough aha

you have been matched with . . . pluto !!

✧ pluto is an adorable little babygworl who absolutely finds you enchanting!! i can see the two of you being childhood friends who separate but see each other again later in life where you both become friends again and eventually lovers. there's something about you that has got him smitten, though you seem to be slightly oblivious to the effect you have on him. he enjoys your bubbly presence and his heart probably feels like it's ran a marathon whenever you laugh.

✧ at first, the two of you would usually hang around as a group with other people, but once while at the library, you discovered that he enjoyed reading mythological books! as the two of you bonded over your shared enjoyment of mythology, you began to hang out more one on one. after time (and probably some urging from pluto's friends as there is no way that his flustered self and your oblivious self would manage to pull this off on your own), you realized that the two of you were more than just friends!

✧ when together, i can see him reluctantly agreeing to going roller skating with you (he would cling to the side bars in fear most definitely though until you finally take his hand in which he dies even more because he is a flustered boy <3) and even though he may not be the best at it, he'll still always go because that means he gets to spend time with you! similar to the roller skating, he would also dance with you if you expressed enough interest in it and i think he'd be better at dancing than he is at roller skating! it'd become a pastime for the two of you to enjoy dances in the kitchen while listening to your favorite songs as another form of spending time. for some reason, i also imagine you doing his eyeliner and him being flustered the entire time but still rocking the makeup look you did!

✧ even though you can be quiet irl, he loves nothing more than listening to you rant about the things you like- be it some cool new fact about human body decomposition or some cool picture you found of deteriorating body parts (though he might find that slightly less enjoyable than other things), he will always readily listen to whatever you have to say!

✧ your trope -> childhood friends to lovers, black cat x orange cat, flustered x oblivious

✧ start playlist -> lovers rock - tv girl | always forever - cults | fly me to the moon - frank sinatra | heart of glass - blondie | shrike - hozier | would that i - hozier |

✧ your relationship moodboard ->

a/n: thanks for requesting, i hope you enjoy!!

[el-conejo-loco]

Hoxton X Blitz (OC) X Wolf Headcanons (Request for @horangislittletiger99)

• Three best friends who had slowly developped feelings for each other. Can a relationship get any better than that ?

• From the start, it was clear you adored one another. From your strong complicity, in the way you guys poked fun at each other's accents, and shared inside jokes only you seemed to understand, to the way you watched so faithfully over one another in tense situations.

• You're the first to speak out on the way you feel, earning you a relieved laugh from the others, who had started to feel a tension between you too. That confession escalates into a bone-crushing embrace, and a lot of excited giggling.

• From there, it all falls into place naturally. You guys are a flawless match.

• Bubbly and energetic Wolf on one side, matching your energy perfectly, and smug Hoxton on the other, serving as the more reserved, more composed, braincell of the group.

• A perfect balance of goofiness and seriousness. All the others have to admit that you work perfectly together.

• Due to his quieter, tougher nature, Hoxton tends to let his actions speak more than words. Often playfully jeering at you, while feeling nothing but adoration for his two goofballs, deep inside.

• A sort of "Idiots. My idiots." kind of situation.

• His love is mostly quiet, but a simple look at the way he acts speaks enough of what he thinks of you. He's surprisingly gentle, something not many of his acquaintances know him capable of. He listens more than he talks. He even displays his more dramatic, romantic side around you.

• He is the type to make his attentions go unnoticed. To try and subtly make note of your preferences. Typically the kind of person to keep track of things you mentionned you liked, so he can adapt to you, or gift you things you want.

• And, if asked about it, he'd contest it entirely.

• Feel free to tease him together to get on his nerves. It's guaranteed to make at least one of you laugh. Or to get him a little flustered.

• But you can be sure this man will pay you back double in embarrasment. The both of you. He's smoother than butter, when his goal is to be a smart-ass.

• He also has a story of being quite a partying type, so expect to hear the cheesiest, most affectionate speeches from him, after a couple too many drinks.

• Once again, blackmail material for the next day.

• Don't mistake his nonchalance for a lack of care. He wouldn't trade either of you for anything in the world. Only in your presence does he feels so effortlessly like himself, and there, he can relax past his proud attitude a lot more than with anyone else.

• On the other side, Wolf is openly adoring. Always covering his loved ones in hugs and a million compliments a minute. Trying as hard as possible to express just what he feels without holding anything back.

• Expect all kind of sweet intentions. Breakfast in bed, (probably stolen) gifts, handmade trinkets, and a hundred silly jokes per day.

• One of the many ways he shows affection is by putting interest into your own hobbies, and noticing small patterns and habits of yours.

• Just imagine his excitement when learning that you're just as passionate about video games as he is. He cannot stop asking you about it for days. He needs to know your preferences.

• Hox loves seeing you get passionate about something together. Even if it's something he couldn't care less about. You're more entertaining than any show, to him. And seeing you happy makes him smile.

• Physical touch is Wolf's number one love language, still. Arms around the shoulders to show support, hugs for comfort, and a way of looking into your eyes with such honesty and attention that it makes his devotion unmistakable.

• Hox has nothing against hugs, either. Prepare to be sandwiched in between the two, and perhaps just a little smothered. That'd especially be with Wolf. He has no control over his strength when excited.

• And getting to live with his two favorite people is nothing short of exciting ! He couldn't ask for anything more !

• You're often caught in the middle of the two's nickname battles, and what variations of the other's name they can find.

• The constant playful banter is worth any cheap TV show. Most of your interactions are of pure amusement. Especially with Wolf's silly and excitable personality.

• And yet, he can show a much more mature and gentle attitude when helping you through something difficult. A sudden change from playful and fun to concerned and somewhat protective.

• Leave it to him to understand how you feel when overwhelmed. He feels a lot of very similar emotions, and his struggles aren't too far off from yours. And he can be of great advice, if needed.

• Both are great listeners, and are willing to help, but I feel like they both would understand different aspects of you specifically. They have both been through their fair share of messes, but those are each their own type of trauma. Wolf gets it the most, though. His experiences have been so close to yours.

• He even gets the ADHD mania. In fact, seeing you like that might make his own manic side kick in.

• The exhaustion in the others' eyes would be like no other, in a moment like that. Especially in Hoxton's.

• He's the one whose job is now to keep you both in check. It's not an easy task everyday.

• But you're both far too adorable for him to protest. Whatever shenanigans occur, they're forgotten about in an instant. Seemingly.

• All in all, it's just the three of you, playing bodyguard, supporting, and flirting all day long with one another.

• It really doesn't get better than this.

[thedemigodoracle]

Please read:

Ok, so as I jokingly said before “I’m back.” - I’m not joking, I am back.

Not entirely yet but here are some things to wait for in the near future.

Before I list it I need to browse fast through the real life stuff first so bear with:

- one of the reasons I did go missing from art and fandoms in general wasn’t just the ammount of books but also family situations, depression, relationships and in the last few years I lost grandma, grandpa and even my mother to a disease they don’t have it diagnosed yet because it was so rare.

Obvsly took a major hit to my mental health and the ability to write and just have energy kinda left me. I’m handling it I’m in therapy. This is all we need to talk about it.

- it’s been over ten years since some of your fave fics have been updated and while both Clichesbullet on ff.net and thatu on DA will be there and won’t be deleted HERE are what’s to expect:

1. My endgame here is reading the books back and forth again, as well as other source

Material for other fandoms I will

Be publishing for.

-updating the old fan mixes and uploading it to Spotify so it’s more accessible and going back (when possible to art).

- I will use AO3 some new aesthetics and user name (though probably just thatu) and edit a lot more to fit what I believe is better not because the world changed in general but because so

Did I.

Some of the racism and homophobia will still be there are these are the characters having flaws whose arcs weren’t complete but lots of it will also be changed because I’m 34 now I also the world is changed and some stuff just wouldn’t fly and I kinda hate it (but the old material is still there available on the old

Accounts).

- I’m not sure technology will be adapted but some references will here and there and I can clearly deliver something better now that I’ve taught English for over half of my life and am taking a masters degree on translation studies.

- real life will get me too busy sometimes so please I hope you’re excited but I know lots

Of you also have jobs or even families. So leave reviews and keep

Me company but also understand I was bad at updating before even with better time

Management this is will be a ride.

- I’m doing this to prove myself I can do and make good things.

- This site as well as the thatu blog will be updated.

- if you were a follower and have deleted your tumblr or changed usernames please leave a reply with who we were because I’ve had an eventful few years. I remember most of you, but I may need a nudge.

- both my writing and art style have developed and so did my world views - stuff will look different but hopefully still bring you comfort. And laughter.

And tears…?

- there will be some one shots posted focusing on stuff like grown up characters and new knowledge

We now have though the characterization will still follow the book ones as that’s how I kinda got used to it.

- I’m back but I’ll be getting back slowly and posting updates here. Tell ur friends who haven’t been here in a while but used to be part of our group of

Weirdos.

- I missed being a fandom person and hopefully now I can find solace in you guys back again.

- some new fandoms will pop up, as will

Some

Ships (see what I did there? Find solace? Will some ships? Hehe).

-Some extra texts will be added to whatever adaptations I make especially regarding transphobia and HP though I do intend to finish my Hannah/Neville story.

- maybe I’ll write original

Stuff too who knows?

Also, I missed you, spread the word. There’s a brand new old me in town. New ships, new views, new one shots, edits, a very different music taste (actually no I just added more stuff) and a lot of improved knowledge of vocabs and world geography.

Please spread this to whoever you think might be interested. It’s not popularity or anything, I’m trying to get back some pieces of me I lost along the way and writing and drawing used to be FUN and help me make FRIENDS.

I’ll keep u posted once everything is at least remotely ready to go.

And omg you’ll finally know what Silena had on clarisse.

Oh and I’m still not for writing smut but there will be more Adult/Mature like material as some ships require it and I am older. No minors having descriptive s*x

Of course but u know it’d feel weird to talk about these huge ass long relationships and not bring it up naturally.

Anyway, reply to this with whatever. Leave a like or something too but mostly leave a reply so we can start this journey together -

New younger fans are also welcome I’ll make my best to keep this space as safe as possible!! I teach kids and teens and I’d kill for u to have a place to be you safely.

Also there will now be additions on author notes for whether a ship is canon or fanon what I adapted and new fandoms new ships and trigger warnings before sensitive chapters that deal with stuff that before I wouldn’t.

Love, I’ve missed this,

thatu.