#and one that maybe isn't as positive or healthy but is still valid

[poor-boy-orpheus]

Barbie is really good but I do wish folks would have more nuanced conversations about it bc I do think that its message is distinctly imperfect

[thecameronchronicles]

Baby Daddy: The Fundraiser

TW: public sexual actions. Smut. Language. Dom!Rafe. Toxic behaviors from both reader and Rafe. 

SUMMARY: You decide to get even against Rafe after he goes way too far…

WORD COUNT: 1700

*ORIGINAL CONCEPT*

It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. Standing before the mirror, skin luminescent with a glossy sheen from a rendezvous with someone other than Rafe and you could actually smile to the pleasure left in a buzz between your thighs. Better yet, it had been with someone close enough to him that he was certain to offer the mind-blowing details Rafe knew made the moment truly authentic. It had been a small step in distancing yourself from him. Even if it still failed to produce that same thoroughly fucked feeling you came to know with him, it would take time. 

At least that was what you'd hoped. 

Coming back into the minimalist bedroom decorated in slate hues and golden accents, you found Topper quickly adjusting something on his phone before returning his focus to you. 

"You seem like a pancake type of girl..." 

"With whipped cream..." His brows rose. 

"Maybe we should test it out now? Make sure it didn't go bad?" You nodded. 

"Ready when you are." Thrusting the sheets aside, you couldn't help but admire him. As if there was one thing he was better at than Rafe, it has been his reliability. The fact you knew you'd see him when he made original plans, call when he said he would. He was healthy for you. He was considerate both in and out of bed. He was-

Your eyes couldn't help but magnetize to the screen illuminating within the darkness. Peeking over to ensure it wasn't detrimental or time sensitive, you saw Rafe's contact. Aware you had only a second, you heard him return, which meant the contents would have to wait. 

"Do you think we can wait until tomorrow? I think you tired me out, champ." He beamed at the compliment, more susceptible to agree  to this, before falling asleep at your side. It took only a handful of minutes of feigned sleep and a light whisper of his name to validate that he had been asleep. Using his hand to unlock his phone with a thumbprint, you found the message in question. 

"I owe you, Top..." Your eyes narrowed as you scrolled upwards, finding a video file. Your heart sank as you watched yourself in technicolor, angles and positions only Rafe had set you in before. 

It was enough to leave that instant. You didn't care if he heard you dress or even slam his front door as you slipped into your car at rest in the parking garage in the complex. Not when you were a woman scorned and your fury contradicts even the hottest of hells.

Lucky for you, you would be able to enact vengeance this very night as Rafe happened to be downtown at an event for his company. With a quick touch up to your makeup and adjustment to your hair, you strolled into the fundraiser with a million dollar smile as eyes fell to you immediately. Without a chaperone or companion, you stood out even more, which allowed all eyes to address you, whether intentional or from a distracted note of peripheral inquiry. 

"That isn't what you told me last week, though..." You interrupted Rafe's conversation as he was split between anger, confusion, and arousal. The dress worn battled against the contradiction he had against you to use it as binds for your hands or as a trophy for everyone else to remind any who questioned that you were his. But it was your belittling of his character that threatened the glass in his hand to break. 

"You told me you were looking at telling "those assholes from corporate that they should focus on the properties around Charleston and get their heads out of their," You feigned embarrassment, "Oh shit...you're from..."

"Corporate..." One man offered his hand as the two others were too busy glaring at Rafe or basking in your ensemble to make note of the insult. 

"Sorry, a bit too much champagne-" Rafe pulled you against his side. 

"We're going home-" But to this, you slipped from his grasp. Because you knew Rafe was dominant through and through, but he would not risk the reputation of his surname, even if it meant putting you in your place. 

"Mister Cameron! It's been..."

"I was pestering Rafe to bring someone worth talking to. All these old guys are stiffs." You narrowed your eyes to Ward. As many found him to be intimidating, you always managed to have effortless conversations. This only aggravated his son further as he seemed to hollow whenever he was near his paternal figure. 

"The only thing you ever did right." Ward reminded his son, who clenched his jaw. 

"So tell me, how did we get so lucky to have you with us tonight? And where's my grandson?" 

You answered his question with the grace and eloquence expected from anyone connected to a demure family such as their own. All while throwing daggers at Rafe when possible. This continued through the night as Ward showed you off with pride until his offspring had enough. Somewhere between discussing how Rafe wasn't smart enough to keep you and how you'd be a better fit to the role of an employee than him as you shared ideas, you were dragged away to a more secluded corridor within the hotel. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing here in a dress like that wanting all this attention when you know all you have to do is ask..." 

"Who says I want your attention?" 

"The dress. The fact you're here..." He paused, eyes triangulating to your eyes and finally your lips as he took a step closer. 

"You are not leaving this room unfucked..."

"Maybe not. But not from you..." His brows arched in curiosity. 

"Oh?" 

"But you can watch, Rafe...I know how much you like to watch someone else fuck me..." His expression stilled and drained of all color. For the first time in the entirety you'd known him, you had not only made Rafe Cameron speechless, but also fearful. 

"What are you-"

You pushed Rafe up against the wall, nose nuzzling his jaw as you could feel it tense beneath your motivations. 

"Mmm..." You began softly, guiding his hands up your back. "Did you watch it yet? Did you see how he kissed me?"

"What are you-"

"Did you see how he was sweet and then nearly broke his bed with how hard he thrust into me? How he pointed me to the camera for you? But he was sweet...he felt so good...I can still feel how deep and hard he was...bigger than you-"

"Shut that slutty little mouth if you know what's good for you-" He threatened as you moved to his ear, capturing it between your teeth. Your entire body was close enough against his that you could feel every instead breath and repressed word. Even the strained cock expressed against you. Your favorite tattle you felt often.

"Mmm Rafe....oh....ahh..." You voiced a false orgasm, quiet enough to be concealed from the earshot of any other guests but directed at him.

"My car. Two minutes-"

"You have your little video, Rafe. Enough to watch as much as you want..." You teased the outline of his cock as you brushed your lips across his own. 

"You want to fuck me?" His jaw tightened as you retreated enough to read his expression. 

"Then watch how he did. Because you won't get to again." You pushed hard into his chest, using his torso as a means of stability to distance yourself before he clenched his jaw and watched you leave. 

This was the high you'd been searching for. Better than any release, even those given by Rafe. Having the last word, the look of shock and defeat across his expression, and you moved to your car to return home to your son. 

But you only managed to make it to the stone wall directly outside of the elevator before a hand forced you to a dimly lit alleyway. Before you could object or speak, your skirt was lifted and you were taken into a bend against the wall. 

"You will always be mine. I hope you got him out of your system because nobody else will ever get the chance to have you again. You're fucking mine." He thrust. The familiar cruelty making you arch immediately as he breathed heavily into your ear. Without a care of courtesy to be quiet or reserved, he unleashed himself into you as the animal he was. Unapologetic as fueled solely by his lust. 

"Look at me when I make you come-" He forced you to face him, teasing your sex with his cock as he kept another hand in your jaw. 

"That face. That one belongs to me." He lifted you over him, your body crashing down onto his rigid shaft as every nerve was left electrified by him. You stood corrected. Nothing had felt like this. He had never been this desperate. This focused. And it left you feeling manic. Your skin too hot, his breath too close, his thrusts too deep. And it has you howling like the bitch in heat he made you into for him. 

"All of you." He forced the top part of your dress to tear, groping you in possession, palming as you moaned and cried in pleasure beneath him. He was ecstasy and chaos. Pain and pleasure. And you were the unlucky recipient to both his kindness and selfish collection. 

"Anybody else pulled shit like that and they'd be fucked in an entirely different way...but you...you drive me fucking crazy!" He confessed as you scoffed. His body building into a climb that would certainly leave marks upon your back from the stone behind. But you accepted it as wounds of desire as you were pounded and raised in equal measure. 

"Yes! Fuck!" You belted as he rested his lips into your neck. An uncharacteristically silent pause as he took you in force to accept him. 

"M..." He began, his release promoting your own as he burst around him. 

"Marry me..." He exclaimed into your skin. No matter how muffled the words, you could have identified them anywhere. 

"It wasn't a question..." He explained as he set you back to your feet, your wide eyes and lips set in the same part. 

"You will…"

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @drewspisces @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916 @belcalis9503

MASTERLIST

RAFE CAMERON MASTERLIST

2ND RAFE CAMERON MASTERLIST

BABY DADDY MASTERLIST

MARCH MADNESS MASTERLIST

[mwnlght]

hi, everyone! this is autumn (she/they, 21+) and you might also find me at @svnlght ! ♡ and i bring you yet another of my babies: moon taeho, a part time server + university student (major in architecture) that is just trying to make it through (and either be finally loved by his parents or finally let go of his desire for their validation); overall, he's a sweet person with a touch of grumpy and forever dark circles under his eyes. here is profile and here is his pinterest! as always, under the cut there's more details of his bio + plot ideas!

his family is pretty ordinary despite them being sort of rich considering his dad is the ceo of an architecture company and his mom a famous graphic designer, but just weren't much of the parental type.

so when taeho is born out of an accident, they don't know what to do with him but they at least try (not very successfully) until they get tired of that too and taeho is mostly left to his own devices since a little too young.

things don't get better when his younger brother is born as the apple of his parents' eyes, a child that came when they actually wanted one and used the excuse that he was born with a sick body to give him more attention than to taeho (but then things didn't change when his little brother got healthy later on).

so he learned how to be an adult a little too soon and how to look after himself; surprisingly he doesn't really resent neither his parents nor his brother for it and he does love them dearly, would die and kill for them, even if the relationship with his parents is still awkward at best.

was (and still is) a good student with good grades and as much as he just wanted to chill throughout his school years, he still ended up class president more than once and almost if not all of his group assignments he ended up as the group's leader because at the end of the day he's very critical and methodical about things, esp academic work, so he ends up taking charge just so things will be up to his standards. he also has very dependable vibes so people end up relying on him a lot too so in the end he does end up in positions of leadership even if the i in his mbti wants otherwise.

characteristics that he carries with himself to this day. hence why new semester is yet another broken promise that he'll just chill in group tasks and agree with everything.

moves to seoul for university in a way to try to escape the awkward environment that seems to linger whenever he's in the same space as his parents; besides daegu isn't a city that he necessarily sees his life being at so expanding his horizons to seoul seemed like a good idea.

receives an allowance from his parents but still works part time at a cafe to earn money and use as little (if at all) the money that he gets from his parents, deciding to use it only for extreme emergencies.

wanted connections !

classmates ! someone who loves doing projects with him because taeho does most of hard work anyway or maybe someone who doesn't like doing projects with him because you two end up always bumping heads due to difference of opinions and no one is too willing to give in.

rent-a-boyfriend ! someone who is in need of a fake boyfriend for whatever reason (introduce him to their family so they'll be kicked out left alone / impress their in a relationship!friends / they joked about having a bf and missed the timing to say it was a joke so now they have to keep the lie up, etc etc) and for some reason taeho ends up being your guy.

coworkers at cheongsudang cafe ! someone who tease hims for the way he doesn't have exactly the most friendly of the faces even when he's serving costumers (but he's still known as one of the cute servers); someone who sees him off work and is completely off guard when discovering that he has a full sleeve of tattoos since he usually has them covered for work, is also very surprised by the piercings too since they assumed he just didn't seem like the type.

regulars / costumers at cheongsudang cafe ! maybe someone that he sees almost everyday and they always order the same thing so ofc that he's going to memorize their order; someone he realizes might not be having the best day and he's feeling particularly generous so he decides to get them a little baking good on (his tab) the house along with their coffee; someone who sees that he's having a bad day and tries to buy him coffee or whatever instead and as much as taeho appreciates it, he can't really have anything on the clock (but with some insisting, he'll def keep it for his break).

ex(es) / crushes / weird flirtationship that looks more like bickeringship / blind date(s) or not so much blind date(s) / smoking one of us always has the lighter when the other doesn't buddies / anime/manga/manhwa buddies / gym you're the only reason i didn't break my strike yet buddies or even gym rivals to gym buddies / tba if i manage to come up with more of them !

[spacebatisluvd]

There's this comic called Sweary She-Ra, and it's a really good rewrite of the original. But I've sort of been avoiding the asks that the creator gets for a (seemingly) petty reason: most fans of the comic seem to sympathize only with Catra and Glimmer, not Hordak. For instance, they will talk about Horde Prime's behavior towards Catra and Glimmer, and how horrible it is, which, sure, but his behavior towards Hordak is arguably worse, and yet... nothing.

Ah, yeah. I think a large chunk of the fanbase for the show is more inclined to sympathize with Catra and Glimmer. For many reasons, but I think most people find them more relatable and/or more "attractive". That isn't necessarily a bad thing--everyone fixates on their own comfort characters for their own reasons--but I can very much understand your frustration with people not seeming to see or acknowledge the abuse Hordak suffers. I don't believe that comic is being made by someone within the Hordak circle of the fandom, so it makes sense that they attract more folks from the fandom at large and those folks will be less Hordak- and clone-minded than we are over in this corner of the fandom.

I haven't been keeping up with the comic personally, but I've had similar experiences in the past, where the rest of a fandom doesn't really seem to be engaging with a piece of fandom content I vibe with in the same way I would prefer. (Or, worse, sometimes I'm in the creator's position and have to field asks/comments from folks who seem to be pressuring me to change the course of my story to suit their character preferences. Not something I've dealt with in this fandom, but it's happened to me in the past.) In any case, I understand your frustration, Anon. Or maybe bafflement. Personally, I don't really see how anyone can ignore what's been done to Hordak, but I am obviously very biased.

Anyway, I recommend that you engage with the content you enjoy, and don't engage with asks, fans, or content that doesn't spark joy for you. I really do find that's the best way to stay happy and mentally healthy within a fandom. And I also try to remember that everyone is going to vibe with different characters and different themes, for different reasons and in different ways than I am. Sometimes those differences can feel isolating, but I think the Hordak community has a pretty active fanbase still. Poke around in these parts for a bit, and that will probably make you feel better overall. ^_^ @cruelfeline has some literal essays about Hordak that can feel very validating to read or re-read in their Masterlist, if you ever start to feel like you're the only one seeing these things.

[detectivenyx]

2023 In Review

for me, 2023 just kind of... came and went. very quickly. i kind of wish it didn't.

there's been some horrific mental-health stuff, not aided by what's going on, both in my little corner of the world and across the world in general. i'll start with the negatives, so we can end on a positive note - that seems like a good outlook for the year.

there's obviously the horrendous situation with the writers and actors strike, where garbage studios think paying people for their hard-made art is very much an optional thing rather than fucking mandatory. yet in this year, warner bros, the company who's the most mask-off with their transphobia (still releasing HP stuff and hiring a TERF and sandy hook truther to voice one of the most well-known female characters in mortal kombat), releases a 2 hour toy commercial and gets heralded a Feminist Masterpiece for the same messages that Mean Girls and Legally Blonde had shovelled out two decades earlier. there's also just the countless fucking genocides. i'm hoping and praying that the victims of those genocides are not wiped out, even if i've acknowledged i cannot help directly.

but in addition, i think this year just sealed the deal for me about the cosplay community. i'm still routinely dragged to cosplay events - it's either that or be socially isolated for two whole months as it's all that gets talked about - and the local 'in-crowd' community is as garbage as ever. someone a close friend wanted to hitch a ride back towards the city with just. randomly started spouting anti-trans sports propaganda to us? she started complaining about trans women 'having a biological advantage' by being taller or whatever. the absolute second that this person was away from a transmasc friend and with two people she didn't fully know, she just assumed we were both cis and went full mask-off with transphobia, and that indicates to me that things have gotten worse since i left. i want to return to cosplay badly, but the fucking community just keeps letting shit like that slide, going to a con run by a neonazi and excusing it with 'it lets me see my friends!' like they've never learned how to plan an outing more than two weeks in advance before. ultimately it makes cosplaying barely worth it; it's an expensive hobby that now only for my own validation. there's no leftist cosplayers in queensland - only people cosplaying as leftists.

it also doesn't help that, off-topic, i am pretty sure i know my dad's care for me is hollow now; something happened in september to prove it to me. there's also the fact that this year introduced me to now having chronic back pain thanks to his neglect, and i don't think i'll ever get any sort of apology from him. and while probably the least-bad thing in the list, one of the more charismatic members of a channel i'd just got introduced to had sexually harassed a semi-guest of the channel.

that said: in newer spaces, and in general, i think things are looking up. the aforementioned channel kicked the sexual harasser, and re-structured so that it was unlikely to ever happen again. i joined up with a new group of people to play Blood on the Clock Tower in-person every month and online a few times a week - and quite frankly i would trust those people with my life. i think just having something to do that isn't a popularity contest has been healing. i'm not super close to the people there yet (or maybe im misjudging it? i don't know how healthy relationships irl work if i'm honest). sewing has been fun, as has finding out an interest in vintage patterns - i'm hoping in 2024 to actually make some of them. finding resources for free patterns (via mood.com - a really good resource, i've found) and having fun with the creation has also been fun, though my fabric stash is getting pretty full now thanks to my many trips to a second-hand fabric store. the last con of the year also wasn't all bad; really only cementing my decision to remove myself at the very end of the con day. i wouldn't have considered coming back at all if the con hadn't been a fun time; even getting to meet someone who was a fan of my youtube channel. a recent bout of hostility for a two-year-old video because someone decided to grift off it had given me doubts about my channel; bad or not, those videos are still fully mine, more than, say, somerton- sorry, i mean someone can say. but i think just being able to see someone, physically, who liked my videos, made it a lot better. (and i purchased a pronoun pin from them and the pin is super duper cute and they gave me a really cute sticker oh my god--)

so, rather than setting resolutions, i tend to set themes for years after seeing this video by SCP Grey that offers it as an alternative. this year was the Year of Education - a year where i did my best to focus on my learning and educational pursuits. at the start of the year i set myself three semi-goals that could change; to do my Master's in Arts, to keep learning Japanese, and to learn corsetmaking techniques.

i wound up re-joining my university in the middle of the year to do my Honours in Creative Industries, focusing on adapting social deduction games and their game theories into the design of a narrative. i'm a little behind on the narrative itself, but the articles i've read and the definitely-research-and-not-a-thinly-veiled-excuse-to-play-games have both been fascinating for me, both in how much theory is kind of just ableist bonkers nonsense and what thin bits of truth are actually present (in all people, deception requires more cognitive thought; there's usually either scriptedness or a very slight delay when someone's trying to deceive - which proved useful when i finally watched roblox_oof.mp3 and noticed both in mister tallarico's behaviour).

my education with japanese fell by the wayside - i got burned out trying to keep up my streak with moving house yet again, and just kind of did the bare minimum to keep up the streak and stay in the diamond league. i think some of my basics have gotten a bit stronger, but that's all.

with that said, i learned a lot more about making clothes over the course of the year! admittedly, i still struggle with making a skirt fit correctly (it is either severely too big for me even with elastic in the back, or just small enough to be uncomfortable in day-to-day wear) but i think i've created a bodice block that fits close enough. i've also kind of fallen in love with a second hand place sort-of near my house that sells a lot of vintage and second-hand fabrics for cheap, which is really useful as a seamstress living on unemployment who'd like to make All Of The Things. i did also make a corset this year, but aside from the busk, it used some really shoddy materials - i accidentally made the lining layer out of broadcloth rather than twill or herringbone and the outer layer was a polyester brocade and a polyester waist tape, meaning the entire thing was just. the itchiest fucking thing in the universe. (and i was wearing an underlayer, it didn't do much to help). i have materials to remake it, i've just been unsure how to go about it.

so that's been my year (alongside obscene amounts of baldur's gate 3). onto 2024 and the goals there!

[thetreetopinn]

It occurs to me that there are certain things that I post that a variety of people enjoy.

More specifically, while this is not exclusively a kink/fetish blog, I do post a lot about kink/fetish material that I like.

The interesting thing about these subjects is that depending on the content of a particular piece of material, it can be enjoyed from both sexual and non-sexual perspectives.

Take vore as an example.

I really like it. I don't like hard vore. I don't like graphic digestion. I don't like unwilling (except certain circumstances--like the prey is just cranky because it's an inconvenient moment and the pred just wants to be close and give extreme cuddles, like they're being very possessive).

I don't like a LOT of various aspects that get associated with vore.

That's no shade to those who DO enjoy those aspects, but they're not for me. I just don't care for them.

The thing is, that scenario I posited earlier, where the pred is being possessive and just wants to be cuddly regardless of the prey's mood, that can be enjoyed through a non-sexual lens. It wasn't really that long ago--only a few years I think--that I learned that a lot of ace people really like vore because of that extreme closeness and intimacy without it needing to be overtly sexual.

And just today, I saw a recent vore post get a like from someone, and their username made me curious, so I checked out their blog. Turns out, they're on the younger side (still of legal age to interact without worrying about legal trouble) and they referred to themselves as asexual. They went on to list the sorts of accounts/blogs/people in their 'do not interact' list--which included NSFW accounts.

Now, I consider my account to be NSFW, but it's nowhere near as bad as the porn bots. I only sprinkle in some NSFW stuff here and there, but it's still there so I try to label myself as such for the benefit of others. It puzzled me a little why an exclusively non-NSFW account would like something from my account.

Of course, because of how this site works, likely they just found it through the tags. Bless the tags on this site. It actually helps you find the things you WANT to find. I do wish it was SLIGHTLY more robust, like being able to run a search where you cross reference and/or exclude tags in one go, to get really granular with what you're looking for. E621 does this pretty well. I do wish that kind of system was more widely used.

Still, when I read over their pinned post, it gave me pause. I wanted to reach out and say hello, introduce myself, maybe make a new friend, but that 'no NSFW' part suggested that it might not be entirely welcome. Especially given the rather pronounced age gap.

Just because someone is 18 or older doesn't mean it isn't creepy for you to approach when you're double their age.

Of course, context matters. If you're looking to do the horny dance at them, yeah... kinda creepy. If you're just looking to make connection with other cool people, maybe introduce yourself as a queer elder in case they have questions or are looking for advice... okay sure, that's good. It's important for there to be healthy interaction across different ages/generations.

I don't fault this person for wanting to limit contact with elements they're not interested in or find unsafe (not that they view NSFW as inherently unsafe... it was just one item in a long list of things, many of which WERE unsafe, like MAPs, queerphobes, things like that). I hope that their experience on this site is a good one and they continue to find material they enjoy while being able to filter out the material they don't want to see.

It's just interesting to me.

And it makes me think maybe I should try a little harder to properly label and tag things so that no matter what lens you prefer to enjoy things through, you can find what you like and filter out what you don't.

Anyway, all you folks out there who are ace and enjoy safe vore, you are extremely valid and I appreciate you.

[and-stir-the-stars]

Something I've been wondering about in MBMW; it seemed like Mike and Liz bullying Ev was something they did to cope with their home life. Since these problems at home haven't vanished (and in fact seem to be escalating), do they turn to other coping mechanisms (healthy or unhealthy, destructive or even self destructive) now that they're no longer (intentionally) hurting Evan?

That's a really great question, anon!

try as they might, their instinctual coping mechanism (hurting Evan) doesn't vanish completely even with all the effort they've been putting in. For example, in BCOH, Mike couldn't hold back his temper after he angered William to help Evan escape, and Liz still humiliated Evan as a response to him bringing up Charlie.

But in Liz's case, she recognized that what she did was wrong; she apologized to Evan and explained why she did it, and let him get his feelings out while also got her own feelings out, too, and they both felt better for it in the end.

In an ideal world, that's what Liz and Mike's new coping mechanisms will become: not tearing each other down so they feel strong enough to survive, but leaning on each other so they all feel strong enough to survive. This is shown by Liz and Mike's conversation about being "broken together" in ch1 of BCOH.

Things aren't always ideal, though. In the pre-Halloween chapter of Collection, Liz distances herself from her toxic friends (a positive step) but is so hurt that she lashes out at Evan when she learned that he wasn't going to be trick or treating with them as a family. Even after she lashes out, she asks Evan to let her do his face paint (before the one-shot takes place, i mean) as though nothing is wrong between them, like she can just shove it under the rug and forget about it. Despite her positive steps, Liz does still have the tendency to ignore obvious signs that her brothers are upset so she can pretend things are happy between them.

I imagine Liz will be pretty lonely at school now that she ditched her friends (well, she was lonely even when she was with them, but she was able to Pretend before). Liz maybe picks up a new hobby to distract herself with; she might start reading more, or doodling, or writing; maybe she even sneaks in crochet needles and yarn and crochets during the school day (I've had friends who do that before, lmao). And hopefully these hobbies encourage her to meet new people and make new friends. Hopefully her reputation as a mean girl gossip won't impede on that...

Unfortunately for Mike, though, he and Evan aren't at the point where Mike can explain why he hurt Evan and have Evan forgive him like Evan does with Liz. The ways Mike has hurt Evan are just too severe.

The non-canon chapter where Evan comforts his brother through ]being reminded that his friends are "missing" shows that Evan doesn't actually want Mike to suffer (like how the fnaf books are in a separate timeline but gives suggestions and inspiration for how things are in the fnaf games, the non-canon chapters in this au do the same for the au as a whole), but Evan really can't support Mike through things the way that Evan can with Liz. Evan just isn't at that place by the end of BCOH.

Liz is the only person Mike has available to fill that role, but even then, Liz is just a kid with her own problems, too. Mike hasn't actually opened up to her about anything that he's going through. He opens up to Evan a little in his attempts to say sorry, but Evan isn't at a place where he can forgive Mike and won't be at that place for a long time yet. Evan's completely valid for that ofc, but it's also not very healthy for Mike that the only times he's been opening up, he gets pushed away and rejected.

Besides the little bit of camaraderie he has with Liz now, Mike doesn't have any other coping mechanisms developed just yet (which is equal parts me still working through what coping mechanisms to give him AND Mike himself not knowing what to do to cope or who to reach out to). I do have some semblance of an idea, but talking about it would spoil a future chapter of Collection, unfortunately.

I will tell you though that there was a cut scene of BCOH where Liz and Mike are walking home from school and Mike asks Liz if she thinks she can walk the rest of the way alone. Mike refuses to answer when she asks why and where he's going to be going, and it quickly gets revealed that Mike was planning on impulsively running away from home right then and there, because surely things would be better for Evan if he wasn't around?

Liz's response, outside of the general fear of losing her brother, would also be fear of losing him as a coping mechanism. In her desperation to get him to stay, she tells Mike that he can't leave because they promised they would get through this together in ch1 of BCOH.

It's not the best response Liz could have given, of course. Trying to stop someone from doing something drastic (or begging them to "go back to normal) because you "need" them (/the "normal them") around to cope yourself is never a good response, imo. All it does is put pressure and stress on the person's shoulders and act as a message that you only want them around because they're "useful" to you; as soon as that usefulness is over, however...

But, Liz is just a scared kid who wouldn't understand that.

[ilikekidsshows]

🔥 Any unpopular opinion about Tumblr, either the site or the userbase.

This userbase really needs to come to terms with the idea that someone can be just a little hater, and that's okay.

I'm not talking about stalking and harrassing real people. That's never an okay or even healthy response to anything. But not everyone who hates a show, ship or character is using that as a justification to hate on creators or fans.

It's one thing to encourage people to stalk someone, send hate onto fanblogs, or @ users in posts bashing something they like (that's also harrassment) but, as long as someone keeps it in their own space, I think it's fine if someone has a hate blog to vent. Using a fan tag for bashing content is straddling the line because, no matter how those people try to justify it with: "ThE PoSt iS aBoUt It So I'm TaGgInG iT," they are still purposefully tagging their opinions with a tag used by people who will disagree with them (100% in the case of tagging anti stuff with ship tags). Someone thinking they're picking a fight on purpose is kinda justified there.

What I'm getting at is this: sometimes people just really hate a show, ship or a character and, unless they're actively hurting someone because of that hatred, it's completely fine and valid. They don't even need a "justifiable" reason for it. Sometimes we hate on things for moral principles, sometimes something just really rubs us the wrong way and sometimes hating on something together with a small group of friends is fun.

Basically, sometimes you will run into a post that utterly trashes your absolute favorite thing in the world. Sometimes you will run into a bunch of such posts, either from different blogs or all from the same one. Maybe someone you follow reblogged it, it was tagged incorrectly, or a search also included "critical" and "salt" variants of a vanilla tag. But that still doesn't mean that the post is directed at you or is about you. You see something you don't like, it's your responsibility how you deal with it. Attacking someone for their content isn't okay, no matter if it's a show or a hate blog dedicated to your number one blorbo.

Liking things is fine. Disliking things is also fine. Loving things is fine. Hating things is also fine. Negative feelings exist for a reason and need to be handled just like positive feelings.

[bogdan522rp]

Roleplayers are Mentally Unstable

(I'm greatly exaggerating, but the title isn't all that far off from reality.)

Throughout my years on Discord, I've met all kind of people - and I can safely assume that at least half of them either have a mental health problem, they're just massive pieces of shit, or both. To be fair, I've met loads of incredible people, but even the best have their failings.

I'm no better - hell, I'm probably worse than some of my friends; I'm an emotional wreck reliant on other people's validation to continue functioning. But I've recognized that, well, roleplayers can be, in a lot of cases, vulnerable escapists who might not easily tolerate critiques.

Creative people aren't exactly the models of mental health, and with roleplaying, the problems only multiply. It's a hobby for those who want to escape the daily struggle of reality, to forget their troubles and just do stupid shit. That's generally fine, really - but very often, escapism doesn't seem to be a healthy way to approach roleplaying, let alone the rest of the world.

I think that comes due to an issue with one's mentality. I've also started roleplaying partially to get away from the monotony and pain of high school (cursed be it's name), but as I became older and more experienced, the other reasons for having this hobby - curiosity, a sense of community - trumped escaping the real world. Hell, while I'm still generally isolated from other people IRL, I no longer see roleplaying as an avenue for running away from real life; it's 'just' a passion that takes some of my time away and helps me make friends.

I admit, though, I spend too much time inside a cramped room.

Obviously, other people aren't so lucky. I'm generally well off, but some of the acquaintances and friends I made are worse off; hell, I've seen a handful of them basically melt down, go off on really unhinged rants, and admit to thinking some really fucked up shit, which... yeah, that happens. I've done that too a couple of times.

It also doesn't help it's full of youngsters over there. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but teenage drama, combined with escapism, leads to some pretty cringey or even outright terrible events - 2019 wasn't the brightest year in my life.

That, and when you start roleplaying, you're generally bound to have terrible ideas and shit writing; it happens, and you shouldn't ashamed of it, but remembering the teen edgefests and the power-ups and abilities I ripped off of Dragon Ball isn't exactly uplifting.

I still remember my first romantic relationship, and holy shit, it's kinda hilarious to look back on.

Yeah, it was a long-distance relationship on Discord of all damn platforms; it wasn't perfect, we were too horny for our own good (especially myself), and we were both emotional crutches to each other, but it was a positive experience overall for me.

Then, after a strange breakup some months before, she vanished, and soon after I found out she had cheated on me with other friends in the server we were a part of. I wasn't terribly upset about it, but I do know one of my friends was pretty fucked up once he found out.

I'm not mad at her. I think she was just too desperate to connect with other people for her own good. I think she was generally honest about who she was or the life she lived; but I wish she had at least been honest and admitted this to all of us before she left our lives.

If you're reading this, old friend, I'm not upset. I'm just confused about why you did all this.

Sorry for going off on a tangent like that (and that this isn't a coherent rant), but yeah. That's about it, really; you'll get better at roleplaying, but you can also slowly get better as a person. It just takes effort, dedication, and a couple of good friends. That, and maybe a change of mentality.

Don't get upset when you people critique your MHA knockoff OC (not to be confused with outright insulting you, obviously); just ask for feedback. Besides, with enough practice and time, you'll get better at it, and you'll even come up with your own ideas. Don't expect them to be (wholly) original; but that's not an issue on it's own, it mostly depends on how you implement those ideas.

[truescoopnews4]

Who are you likely to call in a moment of crisis?

This is one of the most important questions that the study asks us, is likely to be an eye opener for many about How to live a happy life. In a world where we have dozens of friends we meet on and off and hundreds, maybe thousands of friends on social media platforms, it can get hard to pick someone in our moment of need to live a happy life. The issue isn’t a lack of people but a lack of people we have absolute faith and trust in. The study prompts each individual to ask himself this question and analyze where the stand in this regard.

Often, in our daily lives, people we interact with regularly tell us to be cautious. Some even scoff at the idea of adventure or lofty ambitions. In this case the study suggests that these people might not be fulfilling our needs and to know about How to be happy with yourself. It is better to lean on people who encourage us and stand by us when we pursue new things or try to grow. These are aspects of every person’s life that promote growth. It is best to have people around you, who respond positively to these pursuits rather than questioning their validity which tells you How to be happy always.

The next important question the study asks is who are you comfortable confiding in and whether they are the right person for the task or not and what is happiness in life. In a moment of weakness or vulnerability, it is imperative that we have someone to confide in, even more important is that said person is worthy of the responsibility which could be the Key to happiness. The lack of such a friend can leave us open to people who would use our vulnerability against us and this cannot help you to know How to be happy. Or one could stay closed off to other people entirely, bottling up their inner most thoughts and desires. Neither is a healthy way of processing one’s feeling and How to be happy in life, says the study.

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Author: Ujjwal Samrat

[spindrifters]

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

1. Honestly, nothing? I do this for myself first and foremost. It's a form of therapy. When the world went on lockdown in 2020 I busted out a manuscript -- not for the sake of "being productive" during that time but because it was a way for me to retain a shred of sanity and make sense of my days. If curling up in the fetal position on the couch had been more effective, I'd have done that instead and it would've been just as valid a way to cope. Anyway, all this is to say, writing helps me muddle through and understand my neurospicy brain, and that's what keeps me going.

2. Maybe the story goes. It might be strong to say that people didn't get it, but the response was comparatively underwhelming against the rest of the oneshots in that collection, especially as it was the one that meant the most to me to write.

3. This is the bread and butter, baby!! Fandom is a folkloric community, so we need to be engaging with each other in a constant back and forth. This isn't consumer culture! Listen, LJ had its flaws but one of the things I deeply miss about those days are the hard-hitting meta conversations going on in the comments under fics. The way headcanons were expounded and built upon in way that fostered a sense of communal ownership. We still do that to the best extent we can here on Tumblr and in AO3 comments, and it's such a foundationally important aspect of what fandom is. If you're not social or experience social anxiety, leave kudos. Even as a guest. That's a little piece of human interaction that doesn't require anything of you, but will absolutely bolster a writer's day.

4. The marginalia epilogue is going to have a significant time jump.

fic writer asks

[nothorses]

About the thing you posted with the “why do people show emotional vulnerability on tumblr” or whatever, like

Some of us don’t have anyone to talk to irl. Some of us can only discuss certain things on here, and it’s like… maybe a stupid way, but a way to try and show the people who’re hurting you “hey there’s a human behind this screen”. Idk. I know it’s not healthy but… I don’t know what to do. I’d feel like just keeping quiet about it means betraying myself somehow.

Totally! And I think there's a huge difference between "showing vulnerability"- a normal and very healthy thing to do- and what I was talking about, i.e., depending mostly or completely on the validation you may or may not receive when you turn to Whoever Sees Your Blog At The Time for vital emotional support.

The reason I bring this up at all is because I've seen a lot of people do this kind of thing in various ways; I still can't really wrap my head around why so many people want to vent about urgent mental/emotional crises in a public Discord server, for example. Not that it's not understandable, or that people who genuinely don't have anyone else to turn to are doing anything wrong, or, obviously, that everyone in those situations in the first place is doing anything wrong by being in them.

The thing is, it's almost never actually productive or healthy. I would wager that a lot of people going into it know it's not productive or healthy, or at least isn't likely to be. For some of them, that's probably the point.

It's a bunch of random strangers. It's people you don't know, and can't predict the responses of. It's people who don't know you, even if you're honest in how you present yourself to them, because they don't have any kind of mutual relationship or vested interest in you as a friend.

So the possible outcomes, when you do this kind of thing, are:

Someone with a parasocial relationship to you thinks they know you as a person enough to provide the support you need, which maybe feels comforting, but likely is not actually useful in the long term coming from someone you literally don't know. It's hollow, because it isn't backed by a meaningful and mutual relationship.

Someone who feels generally invested in The Health And Safety Of People, As A Whole, sends some generalized validation. Again, this is likely comforting to some degree, but it is ultimately lacking in meaningful and knowledgeable support.

People ignore you, either because they don't see it, they don't know how to respond and are afraid of making things worse, or they don't have the time and energy to provide support to a stranger. You likely feel hurt, alone, and ignored by this.

Someone actively malicious uses your signalling or emotional vulnerability as an opportunity to be more effectively cruel and to cause more pain.

Or, the less common but still damaging outcome:

5. Someone reaches out in a genuine attempt to provide support, establishes a longer-lasting connection. Because this began as one person providing emotional support for another, it likely turns into a one-sided co-dependant relationship in which the two of you only ever talk when you need help in a time of crisis. (This likely burns them out over time, they are forced to cut things off for their own mental health, and you're left feeling even more alone than before.)

Look, I don't want to imply here that there's something wrong with being honest about how you feel, the fact that you're hurting or in crisis, etc. Emotional vulnerability is important! It's also not the same as relying on the responses you get from total strangers when you display that vulnerability. We need better, stronger, more permanent emotional support systems than that in order to survive. That's how people are built.

And there's nothing wrong with being in a position where you feel strangers are the only people you can reach out to at all. I'd still encourage anyone in that place to reach out to strangers over nobody, if it's all they have.

But that's a temporary fix. It's a band-aid. You go into it knowing there are risks, and you work to establish better long-term emotional support systems over time so you don't have to gamble your mental health on the reactions of The Public every time you need help. It's better than nothing, please use it if you don't have better options, but it's still a band-aid.

[askaborderline]

Hi, I'm asking for advice and maybe some resources as well?

So I've got an FP who's my bff and we've been dating on and off (dating has been super hard bc of my BPD symptoms) and it's been really bad sometimes like me just shutting down and not responding to her, giving her silence treatment etc.. (i know it's bad and i don't want to treat her bad and I'm trying to do better) and for some reason she STILL likes me platonically and romantically and wants to date me if I'm able to. I really want to but every time we try it just gets too hard bc i get upset ALL the time by the tiniest things she says or doesn't say or do.. it used to be great when we were bffs, we had such a good time together and that's probably why I fell for her bc it was just so easy to be with her (and i had someone else as an FP at the time) but when she became my FP it's been a struggle. Anyway I'm asking for advice for being super close with your FP or possibly even dating them? How can I have her in my life but not let her "consume" me?

Also I want to reiterate that I know I'm being toxic sometimes and i am currently working on it, i know i don't wanna treat her bad it's just my emotions take over sometimes ):

Hello anon!

I have been in a similar situation myself, at least when it comes to conflicting feelings for an FP and eventually dating mine. My partner and I had a rocky start to our friendship and it has developed into a loving relationship, but it's not an easy one! That's the first thing to remember when it comes to this kind of thing, it will not be easy.

First, I'm glad you are self-aware of your own unhealthy behavior. That is a huge first step and you should be proud of yourself! Stopping this behavior will be like stopping a bad habit, because it kind of is one. It'll be difficult but not impossible!

Your FP wants things to work, she seems to understand that your BPD isn't going anywhere and wants to work through it with you. That can be scary! Especially if you have abandonment trauma or anything similar. But I say, you should let her in.

Start by telling her how you are feeling. Open communication is one of the fundamental keys to any relationship. Be honest and open about how you want to change, how you want things to work, and how you are struggling. I'm sure she would understand and probably has feelings of her own that she needs to get off her chest.

After this, make a plan together. Strategize how best to tackle this together because in a relationship, your problems will be hers and vice versa. Explain your side of things and let her do the same.

Now when it comes to not letting your partner become an all-consuming force in your life, well, I still struggle with this myself. I have learned that it's best to have other hobbies, friends, and goals to balance out the desire to constantly be with my partner. I still feel that urge to be with them, but it's lessened when I have other things on my plate.

I know this situation might seem impossible right now, but trust me when I say that you can have a healthy and fulfilling relationship with an FP. You've just got to learn how to set up boundaries and wield your DBT skills like a big ol' positivity bat at your BPD.

You've got this!

-Bee❤

[topconfessions]

T.O.P.. I don't think he loves his fans as much and he claims to.He pretty much mocks and dissses them with his posts.

I have a workmate who reminds me a lot of him.

She is into the same things as he is. I almost envy her. She studies wine, likes art , collects sneakers, and grew up in the 90's with the "old school" hiphop influence.

I convinced her to listen to doom dada and she said it has become one of her favorite songs, even tho the kpop industry fuckery and delulus appals her.

She said something like " how can someone who sounds so sophisticated and uses Basquiat and pinot noir references in the song plus Kubrick, zoe trope, Dali, and Tarantino in the music video expect delulus to understand it? Isn't he targeting the wrong people? Doesn't he get frustrated? I would."

Ok, delulu is a strong word, but let's level, most of comments are about his looks and love declarations. The fans, they must be young.

That got me thinking. Is he frustrated? Hence the instagram bipolar shit posting and quickly deleting and posting again and deleting again Is it because he gets frustrated and somewhat angry? I mean, the guy gives his fans absolutely NOTHING. I am surprised people still follow him tbh. He makes me feel like a clown, humiliated.

I am always angry at myself, why did I expect more?

Maybe he is going thru a transition. He is afraid that he won't have same the amount of supporters ad he has now when he finally make the move from BB's T.O.P into his trueself. But then again, does he want the same kind of fans?

On a different note:

Is TOP really back with lynnkmm? What's her real name anyways? Who is she, what does she do?

I think it's such a waste. Why does it feel like he only dates empty minded women who do not have their own personality, they just copy whatever he does. Why can't he be with someone on his level and would defy him in a healthy way. You know what I mean? Does he lack that much self confidence?

You've summed up everything I've ever been saying about TOP from the start. And you've perfectly summed up everything that pissed the butthurt loser trolls off who expressed their lunacy and downright mental detriment with their huffs on here about "ageism" taking everything about this man personally as if it's a slight against them - when in reality from what your art enthusiast friend has described, it shines a light on the fact that TOP would not want to realistically spend time with the average fan let alone fans who pretend to be into his interests as he can spot a poser a mile away in terms of his hardcore dedication to the arts industry.

Top IS frustrated. Greatly frustrated and it shows. That probably is the answer and sums it all up cause I can't think of any other valid reason minus severe mental illness and issues he hasn't seemed therapy for, as an explanation as to why his behavior is so erratic. And I'm not here for the kids enabling him through toxic positivity and saying he's 4D and happy. When he clearly showed on that IG live melt down when he looked a mess that he wasn't okay and said himself he was over Korea.

I agree with your friend. His work and artistry is targeted the wrong audience completely and this is why he wanted out of YG entertainment among other reasons. His work is beyond the understanding of the average teenager, young 20 something or kid. At the same time though to some small fraction TOP brought this upon himself by becoming too comfortable and content in bigbang by remaining an active member, as long as going along with GD's " we don't need America we're good right here" POV. He unintentionally screwed up everything by not leaving when he was venturing into acting during Tazza 2 era. I vividly remember a lot of the fandom easily accepting the rumors of him leaving then and we were all pretty much ready and bittersweet-ly okay with letting him go so he could become a fill fledged actor as well as continue Sotheby's. Art auction work. Also Sothebys is a highly esteemed Art Auction company also Realty and other services. He is on good terms with them and works with them still but could have did so much more and rose in the ranks if he applied himself. He stayed comfortable and I've literally heard the biggest names in the business and CEO game like Mark Cuban who is always on Shark Tank & owned sports teams say that in order to be successful you need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and take risks.

Hes not a risk taker by intention he's a risk taker unintentionally with the mistakes he makes minus risks in his creative direction i.e doom dada. He should have went independent and left the company & group altogether after Tazza was released then either venture into America for tours marketed to a certain crowd or festivals that is not for the average mainstream community. Or be like Paris Jackson and have her music reach niche audience.

It's been clear TOP is probably angry and disappointed inside that minus his love for the group, his music will never be directly consumed and understood the way niche persons like your friend or us understand it.

Tell your friend he fails to understand that all of these gripes because he himself is trying to overcome mental health issues and stress on top of depression. So it isn't 100% apparent to him that the average fans won't get his message cause he himself is very youthful at heart, the group has always said he's a like a grown kid and the most sensitive despite being the oldest.

I just...idk. Sometimes in life you have to know when to walk away from things cause time is everything and timing matters. If the rock would have stayed in WWE for like 3 more years or 5 more he wouldn't be what he is and John Cena as a result wouldn't be what he is cause they wouldn't have had a big need for a replacement star in WWE minus Stone Cold leaving. Just an example. You have to know when to stay and when to leave. Now TOP is leaving when it doesn't matter anymore and leaving in a backwards time where the group has came together for a single yet we are being treated like childern and supposed to blindly jump for joy & believe this isn't a goodbye song or a bone thrown to us so they can stop promoting together for another 5 years. Which they will be close to 40.

I get the sense TOP wasn't physically ready or believed he was fully capable of making it on his own fully without a management company i.e YG and the GROUP as back up. Just my theory and opinion. And YES! his comments are always flooded with redundant mind numbing love spam, foreign fans who are blissfully clueless and sharing love (nothing wrong with that at all) and just a lot of praise or some occasional questions. At some point although I'm glad he has love it looks like a robot spam. It looks like legions of repeating statements and spam with no real thought process behind it. Look at American stars comments. Sure its messy but you'll find love in it and varying opinions, some criticisms, some love with shade peppered in and maybe some fans wars with a troll or shady person. It's a lot of variety in the posts then with people like Beyonce it's similar to TOP but you can still sense a flow of realistic comments and the genuine care from her fans.

I believe TOP clearly sees this and he feels numb to it. Like he appreciates it on surface level but it means nothing to him overall. Which is why he can easily respond to hate comments or comments he doesn't like quicker than love comments he NEVER Acknowledges. I've seen in the past during the first years of him joining that he would reply to a random comment of fans but now he doesn't really do. It's to people he knows like most celebs. He treats his most valuable resource aka his fans poorly but the fans will never see this. They never will and it's sad.

Too much adoration especially if it's done in this way can be harmful cause its not offering a concrete genuine support. He just sees another flood of the same old same old.

And as for the Lynnkmm situation she's a wealth off girl he met through connections. Nothing more or less. A lot of guys in the industry American and overseas do this. Date hollow girls who are beneath them especially mentally cause it keeps them in control, keeps them in the lead, they don't have to think or bend much, it serves them and if TOP dated a woman his age in his league it would be too much for him. He would have to really be present and take accountability and be on better behavior. Younger girls will and can give guys like TOP hell especially due to immaturity or brattiness but it's a smoother ride with them plus it's easier to transition through break ups with them emotionally to some degree.

Its a lot I can't sum up into 1 explanation. It's no different than Leo DiCaprio or Zac Efron dating girls like that. And with TOP of course he's dating girls who drop everything for him or pretend to take on his lifestyle. Women on his level 9 times out of 10 won't do that. Only seasoned athletes manage this well (not the cheaters*) Singers and Actors don't manage this well.

Eventually we'll probably hear of him dating some actress or woman in the higher arts industry in the future. But that's it.

Glad someone feels the same way I do. P.S I won't respond to any counter remarks. None of our words about TOP matter in the grand scheme cause he's unreachable and he's untouchable.

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

Fandom PSA: DNI If You Can't Block, Scroll And Move On From A Post Or Page Criticising Thomas, The Series Or Sides.

Hello everyone I've been noticing a common trend in this fandom and one that I want to address. I have added to my intro/pinned post that anyone who can't take people criticising Thomas or the series is not allowed to interact with me, I will not deal with such toxic positivity on my page at all, especially considering some criticisms are valid. The fact that people have been attacked and criticised for having opinions they are allowed to have is disgusting to me.

Some people have left this fandom because of how vile you have all been to certain fanders who have been upset at the mad libs situation or the ableism for example and because you all cant ignore " negativity" and opinions that are just that opinions it is causing serious harm in this fandom. So I'm going to split this post into four sections, What Is Toxic Positivity, You don't know who's behind the screen, Thomas's safety and protection isn't more important than the fanders and finally What Should Do If You See Negativity/Criticism Instead Of Blocking Someone And Making Expose Posts Behind The Creators Back.

I only believe content actively bullying Thomas (or any side) or content saying threats or slurs is harmful. Anything just stating how a certain person feels is harmless or either just criticism that's valid is harmless too.

With that out of the way let's define toxic positivity.

What's Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is an obsession with positive thinking. It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences, even those that are profoundly tragic.

Welp Mel how does this apply to the fandom may I ask?

Well I have noticed that even valid criticism such as the Mad libs situation, the ableism, the racism ect has basically had fans responding with I see what you mean but stop being so horrible to Thomas. I call this toxic positivity because those valid criticisms are pushed to the side and twisted instead of being embraced and understood. Being upset that Thomas is making his videos unacessible is valid and not being toxic. If that person was yelling slurs and threats then it would be toxic.

There's so many more examples of Toxic Positivity in this fandom due to fans pushing away healthy criticism Thomas can ignore any time he wants. Pushing away Criticism is what is making this fandom toxic, stop invalidating people's feelings.

You Don't Know Who's Behind The Screen!

If your going to defend an over thirty year old man who you don't know inrl than be my guest but please keep the same energy for the person behind the screen your attacking and criticising for having an opinion.

Unlike Thomas, you know nothing about the person who's behind the screen, given the fact that most fanders are quite young it baffles me you don't have the same energy when looking at these posts from potential minors who are just expressing an opinion. The thing about something you like is that your going to have stuff you like and don't like about the thing your engaging in. So its no reason to attack people over when you criticise something whilst still liking the show.

Young people develop and change their opinions over time. For example people expressing their disappoint of wait times between episodes maybe "demanding and ungrateful" but when their older they may understand how hard making a series like this is. Heck I know that writing and developmening my fanfictions takes me ages.

So step back and think of the age of the person you maybe talking to before invalidating them by calling them rude and demanding.

Thomas's Safety And Protection Isn't More Important Than The Fanders.

I've noticed that alot of fanders when making these "expose" posts will defend their actions by trying to say they would defend anyone but that's not true. If it was why are you not considering the safety and mental health of those making those criticism posts.

A rich white man doesn't deserve more protection and thoughtful consideration than people you don't know inrl. You don't know people on the internet and posting harsh comments on their pages may make them feel really invalidated just as much as Thomas seeing criticism about his series he wrote will make him upset.

It's why I don't attack blogs personally anymore as they deserve to not face scrutiny for having a different opinion to me unless their being rude or horrible to me.

How about be considerate about Fanders mental health as well as Thomas's mental health. I know I myself have severe mental health issues and don't need people gaslighting me and making it worse. As an actor myself although I know criticism is important I still don't tolerate people being bluntly mean to me.

You may see attacking fanders with different opinions not as mean and cruel and if you don't that is very hypocritical considering you consider their opinions cruel when as stated unless theirs slurs or threats in the opinionated post than it is valid.

What To Do If You See Negativity/Criticism Instead Of Blocking And Making An "Expose" Post.

Now first I want to say block the #Ts Criticism tag and to those wanting to express their opinions that could get attacked heavily please put your posts here as hopefully if enough people filter this tag it will allow fanders who want to express their opinions the chance to.

Secondly please just block and ignore the posts. I get it seeing somebody your a fan of or a series you like receive criticism can be rough and invalidating but for the safety of the person please just block and ignore. Thomas isn't gonna thank you for "exposing" a "toxic person" theres nothing to gain by making an expose post. Please just focus on the positive stuff.

And finally if you are so so upset and want to make an "expose" post please sensor out the users names. If you can't ignore it please be a decent human being and block out the users name. This saves the user from being spammed with threats and super rude comments, it also allows the user to have a pleasant experience online without having to feel invalidated and upset. Even if you intend no harm exposing the users name who made that post could expose them to really toxic fanders and put their life in danger.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk and I hope you understand for my own safety and others why I have made this post and updated my introduction page. More posts are coming in the future including more fandom criticism posts, theories and additions to my Sander Sides fusion series which I will now be continuing.

Melody

They/Them

P.s I know things like Ableism and Racism are not opinions but I know many fanders think that way so that's why I used the word opinions.

It you think I phrased this post the wrong way please feel free to correct and add on your own thoughts politely. Any impolite criticisms and you will be blocked.

Tagged: @dukeofonions @salty-daisy

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Thanks for answering to my asks 😭 i know i may seem like an asshole to most of the people reading this blog. Yeah, i struggle seeing positive things about being a woman, except being more aesthetically attractive than most men to MY taste at least, and im happy about having female facial features. Of course this is not an universal opinion and i dont mean to reduce women by their looks, and i like how some feminine clothing looks on me (and how masculine clothing looks on fem presenting bodies too). The only reason i’d like to transition is to be someone less likely to be raped and to have a stronger body, but i wont probably feel happy about it. I also don’t want a pronoun change (in my native language at least) or a name change, so i feel that makes me less nonbinary in a way

For example, Tiger said that they’re basically a genderqueer man (or something along those lines, sorry if i don’t remember properly) but they’re also trans, i feel that validates their identity more. If someone told me they’re a genderqueer man and they were amab i’d be happy for them and I wouldn’t think of them as any less nonbinary (same for other genderqueer women who are AFAB) but they don’t seem to struggle with their identities as much as i do, or are not as open about it and that makes me feel sad. I feel so alone sometimes

Sorry for so many (offensive) asks. It must have been tiring. I hope this is my last one. Thanks for replying to them, i mean it 💖

I think that transitioning in order to "reduce your risk of being raped" is probably a terrible reason to transition because that's certainly just... not true. People of any gender get raped, even heterosexual cis men get raped, as do trans men. If fear of rape is such a huge aspect in your thought-process then maybe try to find some ways that would actually help you feel safer - such as taking self-defense classes and working out to get stronger in case you get attacked. You don't have to take testosterone to get stronger! You just gotta train the right muscles! Get yourself some pepper spray and apps that track you when you're out alone. There's plenty of thing you can do if you feel like you are constantly at risk of being raped.

I still don't think it's healthy or normal to constantly be worried about this though and it's definitely something you should also be talking with a mental health professional about. Even though it is understandable that you are afraid someone might assault you, I think you have reached a level where this fear has become irrationally intense. If it's the result of trauma you have or ""just"" comes from readin all those posts and articles about rape - it's still a good idea to talk this through with a therapist and find ways to reduce that fear to a reasonable level so that you can actually live your life without being in a constant state of being alert.

And just to make sure it didn't get lost in the void of all those long asks and replies: try to get in touch with other non-binary and genderqueer and trans people. Learn more about their lives and don't just focus on the negative shit. Also learn about all the beautiful things that come with it. Because it isn't all doom and gloom. Being trans is beautiful. Being non-binary is beautiful. (and just btw: many nb people also identify as trans because "trans" just means "doesn't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth". it's not a requirement to actually physically transition in order to identify as trans!) There is an entire world and a large community waiting for you to take part in. You're not alone. You just have to reach out and they will welcome you with open arms!

Maddie