#and only bc i had one specific teacher for whom it was important to make us see these things as well

[airenyah]

when you know a thing or two about acting so you go completely feral over scenes that the fandom wouldn't even think twice about

[gay-snom]

contextualizing lwj’s coming to terms with his feelings subplot!

i wanna talk about the role of confucianism in this subplot because i think it’s something some western fans might not pick up on. basically, the sociopolitical climate of confucianism in his character arc, and a little bit about his interaction with the public image theme.

disclaimer: i’m not chinese but i do have a double minor in chinese and asian studies and have written a few papers on confucianism.

we’re gonna be talking about the novel bc i feel its a little more in-depth and nuanced than lwj’s “what is black, what is white” monologue in cql. namely the tension and misunderstanding in wwx’s first life and how lwj got his scars. i feel like it’s pretty well accepted that wwx made lwj reconsider his world view, so i’m just gonna expand on it. also i want to point out it's pretty unspoken in most of the text, but lwj is also affected by/used to explore the public image themes, as his image the is ideal confucian scholar.

confucianism is centered around the ideas of how to behave “good” in sociopolitical contexts. basically it boils down to a belief system on how society should be run. if everyone follows confucian beliefs, you will have an ideal society. the main text is the Analects, which you can read here. it’s been around for a few thousand years (like around 200 BCE ish), had a huge revival in the tang dynasty (618-907 CE). it was put on imperial exams, the emperor’s cabinet had confucian scholars, etc. this is just to say confucian values are important to historic society, especially upper-class scholars, which seems to be a role cultivators commonly fill in xianxia. here are some basic tenants:

being a gentleman/scholar/superior man (君子 jūn zǐ) : partly being learned in the arts, literature, music, poetry, etc., mostly behaving righteously and dutifully.

filial piety: usually described as obedience. it's not simply obeying everything elders tell you, it includes doing it with reverence and thankfulness for their sacrifices for you.

leading by example: if leaders/the government is righteous, the people will follow. lwj has his flock of juniors that are all strong cultivators and the lan sect is just generally known for being moral and good.

rites/rituals: a focus on politeness and holding proper ceremonies, sacrifices, and funerals

speech: there’s some great meta about the register he speaks in here, i just want to touch on think carefully before you speak, only speak sincerely, etc.

tldr; lwj is THE perfect gentleman (even his title contains the character suffix 君 -jūn, like lxc. which, while this character is not uncommon for cultivator titles, it wasn’t chosen carelessly either. also not to be confused with 尊 -zūn). seriously, look at almost all of book 10 and you'll see don't do/consume in excess, don't talk during meals, sit only when your mat is straight, etc.

okay, so Why is understanding his feelings for wwx so troublesome?

1.2 "They are few who, being filial and fraternal, are fond of offending against their superiors. There have been none, who, not liking to offend against their superiors, have been fond of stirring up confusion... Filial piety and fraternal submission! - are they not the root of all benevolent actions?"

in other words, people who are filial will never create political tension. so like, morally, wwx should be considered horrible person! he’s not only snubbed the jiang sect. he was a head disciple who undoubtedly had younger students looking up to him. and then he goes and stirs up some huge political issues! he is now a bad role model for the people below him and disrespected the people above him. lwj has an entire image to uphold, he has poured his entire life into following these rules and beliefs, and then wwx comes along. would continuing to be in wwx's life taint lwj? there are some contradicting teachings in regards to interacting with wwx:

15.4: "Do not take counsel with those who follow a different Way"

15.28: "When the multitude hates a person, you must examine them and judge for yourself. The same holds true for someone whom the multitude love."

15.36 "When it comes to being Good, defer to no one, not even your teacher."

this is part of the reason lwj had so much trouble accepting his feelings. he didn’t know how to handle this situation, making him appear distant during/directly after sunshot. if he judges wwx's intentions to be pure, it's then not wrong to be friendly with him. but wwx still is morally wrong by society's standards. now, lwj has to not only figure out his feelings, but also reconcile this with how he still thinks wwx is Not a bad person, despite everything. what if he does get "tainted" by wwx? will it hurt the reputation of his sect? that would be un-filial, right? he spent his whole life memorizing rules that are probably extremely similar to sections in the Analects, and now these mixed messages (coupled with the relatable gay panic) are overwhelming.

onto the next! there’s something unspoken in the scene where wwx discovers why lwj has the whip scars. as other posts have mentioned, lwj taking wwx back to the burial mounds and nursing him is high treason. however, this action is also extremely un-filial. also his entire image is built around being a perfect gentleman, if this were to get out to the public he would lose absolutely everything. he would be just as irreparable as wwx.

“I was worried if those from another sect found you first, WangJi would be considered your accomplice. The best scenario was his name being forever tainted, and the worst was his life being taken away right then. Thus, along with Uncle, we chose thirty three seniors who had always thought highly of WangJi... ”

there’s no way lwj didn’t know what would happen if he did this. obviously as lxc says, if this got out, he would lose basically his entire face. and even though lxc didn’t mention this, it would definitely lose a lot of face for the lan sect as well since lwj is so prominent. the decision about what elders to bring is also notable.

“...As if he knew all along he would be discovered by us, he said that there was nothing to explain, that this was it. Growing up, he had never talked back to Uncle, not even once. But for you, not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the Gusu Lan sect...”

so yeah, he obviously knew they would come for him and what the consequences would be. and he still talked back! that’s already not a good look for the lan sect. but attacking them? totally unforgivable! lwj gives up how he was raised and the importance of filial piety, what he has held on to until this major plot event. since it's basically the biggest "fuck you" to his uncle and his clan, this was not a decision he made lightly. lwj shows them he cares more about wwx and His Own ideas of right and wrong than the sect’s or society’s.

Wei WuXian dug his hands into his hair, “...I-I didn’t know... I really...”

when was the last time wwx was at a loss for words? wwx spends a few paragraphs after this lamenting how he hurt lwj, but he's not unaware of the gravity of what lwj did. it's an underlying assumption from being raised in the culture. i would argue his first instinct is "oh god he gave up what for me?" since those lamenting paragraphs are after lxc finishes speaking.

"But he said... that he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong..."

this is something thrown around a lot in the Analects, that not even confucius can say for sure what is right or wrong. what better way to show lwj is still a perfect confucian than have him paraphrase confucius himself?

“...WangJi was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate--you were the only mistake he made!”

here’s the confirmation that the world and even his family thinks of him as a perfect gentleman, the top tier of society, and it was all thrown away for wwx. this is just so heavy. the mistake thing? thats not only because lwj is fraternizing with an enemy. lxc and the rest of the sect who knew are terrified this will forever corrupt lwj personally, not just publicly. lwj was so devoted to believing this was the right thing to do he offered up everything he had. the gravity of this decision is insane. it’s very obvious that he loves wwx, it’s just that he struggles a lot internally to accept everything that is happening.

as for helping wwx leave after the massacre, is this gentleman-ly of lwj? was it actually in-line with his image? is it more honorable to save someone who is dying, at the cost of your own health, than to look away? isn't looking away a form of resentment? i wasn't able to find a specific passage about bystander-ness, but personally i think it qualifies as "bad intentions." there is also this passage for what it's worth, originally it was about government suppression:

12.19: "...What do you say to killing the unprincipled for the good of the principled?" Confucius replied, "...why should you use killing at all?..."

lwj is always more actions than words, and he was not fucking around. his core beliefs really haven't changed, and remain very strong throughout his life. he is still righteous enough to accept his punishment, graceful enough to search for wwx's body since there was no one else to do the funeral rites (10.22/10.15), caring enough to take in a-yuan, upright enough to still spend his years going where the chaos is.

just with this one action, the audience knows he has come to terms with realizing that authority isn't always just, and neither is the public opinion/opinion of other gentlemen. he has reconciled. this is him standing for what he believes is right. this is his devotion. this is his own choice. just. poetic cinema...

anyway that's it for my first meta post! i would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, opinions, discussions, other meta ideas, whatever! thank u for reading! <3

[aphroditeslesbian]

hi

I was also raised 7th day Adventist and I’m a closeted lesbian. I don’t hate my religion..because I personally didn’t have a bad experience with it in my childhood, but it clashes a lot with my beliefs and well parts of my identity. I’m feeling a bit helpless because this religion has been a big part of my life, a lot of strong women I look up to in my life are sda, and my local sda community is very wholesome. And by now you can sense my reluctance in letting it go. I’ve been coping by thinking I should find a gay-friendly sda church once I move out.. if I ever get married. What’s your journey been like? 🪴

Hey! I don't meet a lot of sda online, it's interesting to hear a different perspective. I'm gonna go into everything, bc my experiences with sda really shaped me, and yeah, it's been a wild, not so fun ride.

Basically I was baptized catholic as an infant, but my family isn't practicing catholic. My mom is very religious, and wanted me to have a good education... In Brazil, we have very poor public education in primary and secondary school, and the best schools are the private ones... Which are also religious schools. So I wound up studying in a sda school from kindergarten to highschool graduation.

So from a young age (4 yo) I was raised on my school's religious beliefs. I was really involved, and my childhood best friend was also sda, she lived a couple floors down from me and we'd hang out often, and her family would bring me to church on Saturdays (there was a sda church across the street from the apartments we lived in). I was the staple Christian child, I prayed every night and every morning, apart from all the prayer at school ofc. At 8yo they did a talk at school about the importance of baptism, and I asked my parents to allow me to be baptized as sda. My mom surprisingly didn't want me to be baptized again, not so young, but my dad said I should do what I wanted, so I was baptized again at the school's church. Literally the school had an auditorium for our weekly religion-related classes, which we called "chapel", and was basically like going to church – but mandatory, as it was during school time. This specific school also had a church built on the side, so yeah.

During my early childhood through preteen years I had no issues with the school's teachings and sda ideology. It was all I had ever known, my family encouraged religion and we'd also sometimes (rarely) go to catholic church. I honestly didn't even realize people could not believe in god until I was 12/13.

I had never really heard much about being gay, or being anti gay during primary school - I may have forgotten having ever heard it from teachers. I only heard about homophobia from peers, and so I knew that being gay was a bad, evil, gross thing.

When I was around 11/12 we moved to a smaller town, and I started at a smaller Adventist school. I was the only one in my small newly found friend group who was baptized, and moving was very traumatic for me, so I started becoming less active in church. I became severely depressed because of the move and other stuff at home, and turned to the internet for a distraction.

I first heard about atheism from a youtuber, and he was known for his controversial takes (he's pretty nasty, it's only gotten worse with time but anyway). I guess a mixture of depression, becoming a teen, having my rebellious phase, I started researching into it.

My religion teacher (we had "religion" classes, but they should really have been called "7th Day Adventism classes") was much harsher than the one I had at my first school. This was around the time that Twilight was a big deal, and I read those books sooo many times for comfort, I got into Harry Potter etc. Not long after I moved to this school, we had a religion class about how Harry Potter was inspired by the devil. My books were often confiscated during class, even if I had already finished my assignments and was reading quietly, even if they were just on my desk. Being super depressed and introverted, with very few friends, books were my refuge. Having the teachers look down on them and literally say they were devilish and evil really started to shift my view of the religion. I knew these were good books, I loved them. So how could they be evil?

I have a very strong memory of praying and praying once and begging Jesus and god to help me, to give me a sign, because I was terrified of losing my religion, of losing god. All I had learned my whole life was that god is good, god is love etc. How come god wasn't helping me, my family, through some of the worst times? How come I was alone?

At around 12/13 my cousin came out to me as bi, and soon after another cousin came out as gay. I barely fully understood what that meant, and the internet was again where I researched about it. I realized I liked girls at the time, but I never understood you could even be married to a woman, as a woman. Even though I knew I liked and was attracted to girls, I never let myself think too much on it. The school was pretty obvious about how marriage is between a man and a woman, our "sex talk" was a class with our religion teacher. Bio talk was split, the boys left the room so we could learn about female anatomy and stuff, and then the boys had the room, etc. Our religious teacher was very adamant about how one shouldn't have sex before marriage, and marriage was between a man and a woman so...

Honestly the basework they laid was to erase homosexuality. I didn't even grasp that I could be anything but attracted to girls, I didn't realize I could do anything about it.

And then in highschool, I guess bc we were old enough, they finally started being outspoken about their hatred of gay people. There would be snide comments from the Portuguese/Lit teacher, a disgusting talk from the History teacher about how gay men's sexual activity leads to anal incontinence, the Religion teacher saying it was wrong, comparing it to criminality, the school's vice principal giving us a lecture and making sure to hammer in the worst thing anyone could turn out to be was homosexual.

At this point I thought I was okay with my same sex attraction, I thought these things weren't getting under my skin. But then I learned about being trans, and I came to the conclusion that since I was into girls, I couldn't be a woman. I identified as trans from around 15-19. That was internalized misogyny and homophobia, that was me actually letting all the snide little comments settle deep in me, and shape who I was.

Anyway, at around 14 I was done. School was teaching us that bastard kids aren't blessed by god (me and my siblings are all "bastards" as my parents were never married). They told us couples who lived together and we're never married were not blessed by god, and implied they were bound to have issues for their sin.

I was a teenager living in a broken home, my father was emotionally abusive to me and my mother, and honestly at the end of the day I had to choose if I wanted to believe in a god who was supposedly love itself, yet didn't protect me and my young siblings and my mom... Or not believe in god at all.

Leaving the church and coming to terms with not believing in god was one of the toughest times in my life. My depression was in the gutter, I was self harming, I was struggling. I remember thinking of my cousins, whom I was very close with growing up, and knowing they were good people, so how could god not love then? I remember thinking of myself, of all I had done for the church, for god, and wondering how could god not accept me.

For me, the church was poison. I only saw hypocrisy, I saw people who judged each other, who cared more about their own concepts of right and wrong than being mindful of others. I saw my teachers who preached being kind, but ridiculed and laughed at other religions and those who believed them. When I was questioning religion, I always had sooo many questions for my religion teacher and so often she just told me that some questions were too big for us to understand, that only god could fully comprehend himself.

I'm proud to have come out the other side, but I won't lie. The community that church represents does seem so lovely and welcoming. I wanted to be a part of something, and church offered that.

But at the end of the day, there's no space for me, a lesbian, in there. They don't believe gay marriage is okay, they don't condone our "lifestyle". They think this is a choice we're making, and a bad one at that.

The childhood friend I mentioned earlier, who I used to go to church with, actually came out as a lesbian a couple years ago as well. Her sda family is giving her a really hard time. She's left the church, last I heard.

Honestly, my advice would be to find other community. Find community with other lesbians, people who can accept you unconditionally, who can offer you support without small print. That's what I'm trying to do.

I personally am against christianity for a lot of other reasons besides my very negative experiences. Maybe that's not you, and in that case I guess finding a church that is LGB friendly can be the answer. I couldn't judge anyone for choosing to stay, because like I said I really understand how nice it can feel, how it's like you belong in this community, how it can feel like the church is family.

But I really suggest deep soulsearching, because in my experience all they ever did for me was suck all my energy, all my devotion, and spit me out when I was never going to be the heterosexual good girl they expected me to be.

Sorry for the super long answer, I hope this helps some? If you wanna talk more in private you can hit me up through DMs, I'm very willing to listen and talk about it.

[thesixthstar]

Just gonna say one post for Ace Awareness week really, but its a point i rarely, if ever, see made, and I’d appreciate if you (yes, you!) would read it and at least think on it despite it being a wall of text and my being a rambler. (This is kinda an ace and aro message bc for me, personally, being ace-spec and being aro-spec are intertwined in ways I cannot separate, and because imo those two IDs face certain issues together, or at least similar issues for similar reasons)

Supporting aspec people and identities doesn’t just mean supporting allo aces in relationships with other allo aces, or allo aros who are sexually active (though supporting those cases is absolutely required and imo bare minimum). Supporting aspec people and IDs involves supporting us when we question what relationship norms look like, and in building relationships that fall outside of the norm without writing them off, or pretending that “this relationship model is Just Like the Normal One! We’re not That Different!!!”

Like yes, its good to normalize relationships that aren’t currently recognized in the Mainstream (Mostly Heteronormative) Handbook of Partnership Models (and where are y’all getting these copies of the handbook that define “friendship” in the weird ways i’m seeing? what edition was that?). But imho an honorable goal would be to stop requiring that our relationships look normal to you.

I spout this off about a lot of Handbook Accepted relationships too, but the idea of what a relationship Should Be Like, outside of just. an honest attempt on all parts to create a healthy dynamic that maximizes happiness, is often harmful to a lot of relationships. 

I’ve avoided using certain terms in this post (some on purpose some just bc thats how i talk/write), and if that makes it sound really broad, and less specific to asexuality in particular, that’s because it is. Aspec folks feel this, when we hear how “selfish” we’re being in relationships with allosexual partners, or when our QPR or platonic life partnership, or other Arrangements* gets written off as “just friends”, or even worse “just friends, and how stupid are you for thinking you’re the only one with a Best Friend, how stupid are you for thinking your clearly-different situation is different?”. If you talk to polyamorous folks** about this, you’ll likely hear a similar story about what folks outside of their communities consider a “real” relationship. Honestly? If you talk to the most bland looking heterosexual couple, how many of them will have a good handful of relationship issues based on what the gf/bf/wife/husband is “supposed” to do, bc they’re basing their relationship off a one-size-fits-all model, rather than addressing what they and their partner want and need out of each other and themselves? Lots. Most of whom won’t admit it because they think their problem is that they’re failing at the System, rather than the System failing them. 

I usually don’t bring this up, especially during Ace Awareness Week and other such events, because I’m so used to being the Asexuality 101 teacher to many of my friends (since I was 15 basically), touting the “I’m asexual, but dont worry, I’m Just Like You!” line to make it seem approachable to outsiders, and this is really not an entry-level convo to have with a lot of folks, but i’m sick of never bringing it up. Its a conversation that has to happen and i’m apparently the only one in my little corner of the internet with a weird personal manifesto to write on the subject. 

If this kind of break-down of concepts in this particular way is new to you, or your immediate reaction is “fuck all of this”, or even “aspec IDs and polyamory aren’t the same! how does it make sense to compare the two” then I have this to say to you: Hello! Welcome! I hope you’ll take a little while to be open-minded and think about these issues from a few different angles! I know it took me a good few years to navigate myself to these opinions*** and I never would have gotten there without a healthy mix of well meaning individuals ready to talk out tangled concepts without contempt. I should hope it’s obvious from this post that I don’t consider the experiences and struggles of all groups with these constructs to be equivalent to each other. But the primary reason I consider myself an inclusionist is that that’s how a community works. The more people we have coming to the table with their experiences, sharing in good faith, and fucking listening to each other, the better this turns out for all of us. 

*You’ll forgive me for not being up to date on the terminology I hope, because I’m not hip with what the aspec kids are up to, and also for not trying to list Every Permutation of Non-romantic Partnership, as the idea of trying to find, label, and file into boxes every kind of animal our minds create is counter to the whole spirit of this post

**i write about polyamorous folks here as a “them” and not an “us” bc I have No Earthly Idea whether I might potentially identify as poly or not. that identity question is not important to me atm, and while I know plenty of poly folks, and have Disk Horsed some with many of them, i've never actively been in a poly relationship, and its not an ID i’ve ever actively worn, so i won’t pretend to know that from the inside experience.

***can you believe I went from “the A is not for ally! but why are poly folks asking to be included? they’re not in the same boat at all!” to genuine inclusionism without ever having had an overt conversation about it with a single soul? it was all subconscious shifting in understanding in values and the first time I realized where all my opinions had shifted on that topic, is wasn’t a surprise, but it was a “....huh” moment

[blacknovelist]

sup ok here’s the promised details on uhhhhhh All for One in @guardianlioness​‘s and I’s Ageswap Mess, formed by collaborative headcanon jamming on discord and then roughly paraphrased via a run thru the unfortunate Quadruple Lengthening Filter that’s built into my brain bc I’m incapable of being brief.

(something of an expansion on this post and this ask. Nooooot spoiler free, actually pretty spoilers, idk, will pop it under a readmore bc who knows how long I’m gonna go on also)

ALSO!! I can’t at u but @randommly-passing-mia u asked forever ago about Toshinori and AfO’s relationship in this AU and i answered what I could then but I’m pleased to announce this goes more into that bc I knew Very Little back then. :)

So, All for One! Now, I feel it appropriate to note that the previous post I made regarding the history of OfA in Ageswap, as well as just about everything I’ve posted abt AfO and OfA for Ageswap (except for the linked ask above, obv) was made before the arc with the League of Villains and Shigaraki’s backstory all came out. Now that we’ve got some of those contexts, we can go a little further in fleshing everything else out, which we did, a little, today.

Pls keep in mind that Ageswap’s goal is not and never has been to make a direct 1:1 translation of adults to kids and vice versa -- good lord we’d have a lot of empty spaces if we were doing that. So, uh. Anyway. it’s time for “we make a mess of the characters and also the timeline and the plot because it’s Our City Now”

Student AfO is a different creature to small Toshinori of our au. For the purposes of this post we’ll call him AfO, because while I’d love to just jump into referring to him as Shigaraki there’s a lot of confusions that lie down that road. Also, again, we’re calling mr heckhands mcmike Tomura, because Shigaraki is a name with Weight.

Because canon parallels, Ageswap AfO has a little brother who we’re making Kyudai Garaki/the Good Doctor and also quirkless for our purposes (whether he’s AfO’s biological brother is up in the air, we haven’t settled yet). Garaki has something of an intense obsession with quirks, constantly studying and doing research, not unlike Izuku, and the age gap between him and AfO is... about six years. Now, because AfO had already manifested a quirk of his own and that quirk had fearsome potential, One for All was originally going to be passed on to his brother, because before Ageswap Izuku, OfA had strictly been handed down to trained members of the family.

Tomura was a member of the group that had, through the generations, been working to fight against the users of One for All. To hit them where it hurt, he attacked Izuku’s mentor’s (we’ll call them the Mentor) home with a group of League fighters. When he found out there was a quirkless boy, and a second one who was all but quirkless for all that he’d been told to avoid using his own powers, he quickly took them in under the League’s wing -- both in an act of cruelty against OfA and out of some misguided sympathy for the boys.

The fearsome thing is the toxicity of the relationships Tomura formed with the League, and eventually with the boys. He meant well, when he took them in, but whatever this version of him went through... well, just about all his relationships are some level of manipulative and unhealthy by default. See: his tendency for physical closeness and being tactile, as mentioned in the ask.

He’s firmly of an opinion along the lines of “if you’ve got the power, and you know you have the power, and you’re not using it to do whatever you can or want, then why do you even have it?” and, for all of AfO’s childhood, Tomura tried his hardest to share this with AfO and sway the kid to his side. With the Mentor having dropped off the grid and abandoned the Shigaraki name in grief, AfO and his brother had nowhere else to go, but AfO was a smart and cautious kid: he couldn’t just listen without a fight, or a reason.

(AfO didn’t know Tomura meant to kill them, that he attacked their home on purpose. When he eventually finds out, he firmly believes Tomura meant to save them)

But Tomura’s persistent, and he doesn’t stop, and eventually he points out: if All for One is a quirk that allows him to take and give quirks, does that not mean he can seek out the perfect quirk for his little brother? All the reasons he’s suffered, AfO has the power to fix that.

That’s the thing that sways AfO to their side, that convinces him to stay with the League and learn under Tomura. Because if it’s for family, isn’t it worth it?

(AfO sees Tomura as a teacher, as a friend, as someone beloved and important. Shigaraki was AfO’s name, but it can be Tomura’s too, if Tomura wants. Then everyone knows they’re family. And Tomura accepts it -- another spit in the face of an enemy, a welcomed token from a beloved student. Shigaraki is a good name for the rest of the world to use, but Tomura, Tomura is a name for the League and the League alone.)

AfO tries, at first, to find other quirks for his brother while he trains, while his brother studies (while Tomura tries to sway Garaki to their side also, because look at what you know, what you could do with that knowledge, combined with your brother’s quirk, you’re so young and so so smart-). OfA is gone beyond the League’s sight, in the hands of the Symbol of Peace, so there’s no point on dwelling on it, really, surely another quirk would work better?

But then One for All comes back around, in the hands of this blond... nobody. His brother’s quirk, running around in a stranger. AfO continues to hunt potential quirks down for his brother and his brother’s studies, but he has a new goal: to try and claim OfA back and give it to who it really belongs to.

the problem of course being that he can’t take it by force like every other quirk, and killing Toshinori would merely render it lost forever.

Essentially, AfO’s primary grudge against Toshinori is the fact that he’s the current bearer of a quirk that, in AfO’s eyes, should belong to Garaki. And Toshinori’s quirklessness, or past quirklessness... is easy to know when you know the secret of One for All.

Some good stuff gets said abt AfO vs Toshinori in this answer here I think, and I’m drawing on it: Toshinori’s more instinct and heart to AfO’s logic and strategy. That’s not to say, obv, that neither of them draw on the other quality, but it’s what stands out most to me about the two of them and just, kind of their general dynamic (or at least, that’s how it seems).

USJ was a subtle message laid beneath a louder declaration. Two-for-one, if you will. “Wouldn't it be so nice to have a quirk that fit better in your hands? that didn't fritz or go funky whenever you so much as turned your head? A quirk you might not even have to coax and strain and train and change your body for?”

But AfO does not confront Toshinori until much later, until after the sports festival. See, the mall incident in this AU is a scene on bargaining.

He confronts Toshinori at the mall -- his face is not known, and it’s a simple matter to pull him off to the side. But there won’t be fighting here today. No, he only came to talk.

Questions, first. About Toshinori, his experience with One for All, what he thinks of other people’s quirks. About what it was like for him, growing up quirkless, left abandoned by so many people for it. Eventually, his conversation circles back around. I have a little brother. He’s quirkless, just like you. You know what he went through, what he suffered.

All for One even did his research, is even willing to play by rules closer to Toshinori’s own: tucked under his arm is a folder, with lists upon lists of people. Villains with sentences for life, villains under the death sentence, people who would have no life of returning to the world ever again. People who don’t have a reason to use their quirks any longer. People for whom it wouldn’t matter if he took their quirks anyway. “Take your pick,” he offers Toshinori. “I’ll give you whatever quirk you’ve ever wanted. I’ll even take it from a villain so none of your precious civilians have to suffer the loss — but that one belongs to my little brother.”

And, well. We all know he says no.

Why would Toshinori hang onto a quirk that isn’t even his? All the people out there, bearing the quirks that his brother and even his greatest enemy were robbed of at birth, and AfO has the power to grant both Toshinori and Garaki the power that they’d dreamed of, that belongs to them. He knows what it means to suffer without a quirk. Why won’t Toshinori let him fix that?

and idk specifically what Toshi would say, but I think it’s something along the lines of “no one asks for what they're born with or given, but we make the most of it anyway. That's how we're supposed to live.“

Anyway Toshinori and All for One hate each other SO fucking much but. Unfortunately, also just kind of Get Each Other on some level. Like, they despise one another but also, if there’s one thing they can believe in, it’s that the other will always Be The Way They Are. Friendly Enemyship, if you will.

There’s some level of pity that AfO also holds on the percieved coldness of Toshinori’s relationship to his mentor, Izuku. Izuku is... really awkward, in his relationship with Toshi, and while Izuku loves his student very much he has a hard time showing it -- and Toshinori thinks so poorly of himself, it’s hard to grasp how close they are from the outside sometimes. AfO totally tries to recruit Toshinori to their side, even after he figures they’re Tight and also even though he knows Toshinori won’t ever say yes. Like, he hates the guy, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be a kickass ally.

Tomura would like Toshinori and AfO says as much to his face. “You’re more like him than I am, anyway. You can act without overthinking. And he wouldn’t care if you were quirkless. He doesn’t with my brother.”

(Toshinori hates that. He isn’t, he isn’t he isn’t like him at all.)

Tomura has also more or less promised AfO that, at the end of his lifespan, his student should take on Decay. AfO, of course, doesn’t want that and is on the hunt for a good longevity quirk to give to his mentor

In the end, the way All for One is kind of being played in this AU is something not so far off from Anakin Skywalker.

In Lioness’ words:

Noble in his desire to keep his family alive

But horribly misdirected

[mudbloodt-a]

bubble bubble toil and trouble / i heard rumors that [ lily evans ] is part of [ the order ] ! [ she ] is/are [ a cis woman ] and [ twenty ] ! they are often mistaken for [ ludovica martino ] and known to be [ assertive and overemotional ] ! i wonder if they’ll survive the war.

LINKS: pinboard, stats page CHARACTER PARALLELS:  lois lane ( dc ), jane sloan ( the bold type ), katarina stratford ( 10 things i hate about you ), leslie knope ( parks and rec ), donna pinciotti ( that 70s show ), sam ( the perks of being a wallflower ), trish walker ( jessica jones ).

HISTORY

lily is born late january, 1960, as the second child to jonathan and miranda evans, a pair of muggles who have found the perfect balance between standing out and being ordinary. she grows up running after ( and sometimes in front of ) her sister, petunia, her best friend for most of her youth. her father works as a bank teller and – like many – hates his job. her mother is a stay at home mum, who mostly spends her free time tending to the family’s garden — their pride and joy.

lily has many memories of that garden. plucking flowers for her teachers, playing hide and seek, digging through the dirt with her tiny fingers, having barbecue’s and picknicks, laughing at her father’s deep hum of a voice as he complains about customers, crying in her mother’s arms when she scuffed her knees.

so life was ordinary and happy and simple. sure, lily was able to make flowers grow with a touch of her fingers if she concentrated deeply and caused small explosions when she raged ( which was often — lily was an energetic child, but an explosive one, too ). they explained it away with laughter, and kept on living. and then there was severus, whom she met when she was nine, who explained it all.

lily was a witch, and she loved it. she didn’t quite understand it, but she loved it. her parents seemed enthusiastic enough, too, even if they didn’t start believing it until a witch showed up on their doorstep. severus was a new friend, someone who’d help her brave this new world. and petunia … petunia was withering away from her life, slowly taking steps back and back until things seemed beyond repair.

going to hogwarts was confusing, at first. when she stepped on that train, something between her and petunia was changed forever, and lily shed a few tears before she met up with severus. once arrived, she was sorted in gryffindor in a matter of seconds. honestly, i don’t know what to say about hogwarts what wasn’t stated in canon — lily was a great student?? loved learning, had natural skills, was charming, etc. she wasn’t perfect, of course — she was prone to starting debates in class, to going on tangents, cursed quickly and easily and very … creatively

what i’m trying to say is she definitely wasn’t a goody two shoes?? yes, she cared about her education, but no, she was no stickler to the rules. lily was and is a firecracker, someone with fire, and there were plenty of times when she chose to disregard rules, or to go against what was asked for her. not out of spite or just because, always for a good reason, but still. also got into plenty of fights, mostly verbal, mostly with purists, but also with plenty of other people.

lily excelled in charms and potions, specifically. was a big fan of herbology as well, and transfiguration merely bc of mcgonagall.

and then, things seemed to shift. severus called her a mudblood. he was the only person who’d been part of her life before and during hogwarts, and now she couldn’t look at him any more without feeling nauseous. tensions were rising all around her, too. lily started wearing her blood status as a badge of pride even more than before. she became unforgiving and angry and determined to see change. she worked hard in her classes and worked hard on her friendships and tried not to combust with her rage.

and she somehow fell for james potter too, what a fucking tool. both of them. ugh. such a sappy story!!! but yes. they became a thing, and i stan.

lily graduated and had no clue where to go, until it dawned on her — her voice, her anger, her need to find truth: she could use that all. screw having a particularly magical job; lily applied at up and coming news site and magazine lumos and started interning there the summer after graduation. lily as a journalist is very important to me. her whole need for truth is in all honesty the most important thing about her so excuse me as i am about to go on a RANT.

i mean, lily herself is honest. brutally so. she can’t lie, either, and barely ever sees cause to. it’s partly just nature, but also a bit of nurture, i think. her sister, for example, so caught up in her lies and her wish for perfection seems altogether untrue because of it. severus, who hid true thoughts from her. her father, who never told his customers how annoyed he truly was. so many blood purists in the world, keeping their views carefully quiet. this war is based on lies. the world wizards live in is based on lies, and lily hates it. she seeks truth, always has, always will. it’s part curiosity, part anger.

her job as a journalist allows her to seek truth. it also allows her to cover the war, to talk about it, to hold interviews and seek out sources, to think of good questions, to be critical and empathetic and clever. all things lily likes and loves and wants to do.

lily also joined the order. i mean, what other option was there to fight? her family, her friends, she herself — everyone was in danger because of this damn war. there was no bone in her body that thought about sitting still, and when she was approached about the order, she didn’t think twice before saying yes. there is no way that lily ever accept the reality these death eaters want. no way. she’ll die before she sees that happen.

where her and james are at is still something i’m discussing with liz, but they’re def happily in love! lily is about to get pregnant too and she’s going to freak

CURRENTLY & PERSONALITY

okay so i know i’ve mentioned lily’s anger a lot, and i think that’s an important thing to talk about? lily is a very feeling person. she’s compassionate and kind and empathetic. she cares about others, and does so easily. she does so deeply. and she feels deeply too, always has. she cries easily, laughs easily, rages easily. combine those two things and the fact that there’s a war going on that’s fueled by such sickening bigotry … well, of course she’s fucking angry. her anger comes from her kindness, it comes from her compassion and her warmth. her motivation isn’t her anger, per se — it’s her wish to see the world different, to see it be good, but her anger is a huge drive.

lily loves muggle shit so much. she came into the lumos office and dropped a whole lot of muggle office supplies on her desk and said: “if i cant work on paper then im walking” and they were like … dude its ok lol wtf. she’s kind of very extra abt it but in this current economy she’s so set on being PROUD of being a muggleborn and she just loves muggle stuff too — i mean, wizarding fashion is Nothing compared to mom jeans and plaid shirts??? she loves muggle music too, especially indiepop and classic rock and just everything by Cool Ladies.

was raised catholic and still practices it but in a v liberal and modern way because she has seen a lot that with the more traditional views. so yeah, her thoughts on religion and especially the way it’s practised have shifted a lot. she still prays, goes to church every now and then ( but definitely not ever sunday ) and sticks with it, even if it’s hard to cling to faith when the world looks the way it does.

cannot cook to save her life, help her

a big  fan of white wine and rose, lolol. will also drink loads of beer if the occasion calls for it. a fun drunk, but also a mama bird when drunk, holding back your hair and drying your tears.

honestly lily is slightly dramatic, full of rage and a downright good person. such a good friend, holy shit. so blunt. so extra. so loving. dances and fights through life. laughs wildly and loudly. gives great hugs. supports blanket forts, always. loves loves loves.

[babblingbat]

Various Characters I meant to post Months ago

Various Characters of mine

I have so many I want to write (some) of them down! This is a suuuuuper long post so more under the cut! Includes a spy, a crime lord/activist, and a bargaining warlock (I have to reblog this later bc tumblr threw a hissy fit about the length)

X

- Kinda in a Bond-esque spy agency, but more of a contractor

- When everything goes to shit, you can count on them to fix it

- Nonbinary protege of whoever is in charge of the tech division (Mezza? Sloane? Dixon? idk, but they have a hell of a shady past and there’s like… noooothing that can keep Sloane out of computer systems)

- X isn’t formally recognized by APO (authorized personnel only, the spy agency) but they do have access to all information because of a backdoor Sloane made

- So I guess the name is Sloane

- Anyways, X goes on the black ops of black ops, typically with either mercenaries or no back-up at all

- Thus trust issues and like the opposite of dependency - they have so much trouble asking for things but are willing to help anyone or offer material assistance - if they have it

- X is nonbinary and really doesn’t have any preferences on pronouns, as long as they aren’t he/him or she/her

- They’re also autistic and shut down if there’s too much loud noise or if they’re just too tired for some reason - sometimes this means going nonverbal or just Not Functioning and their favorite way to feel better is to sit on the ground, wrap themselves in a blanket and listen to music - so in conclusion they don’t really use guns unless there’s a silencer, and they aren’t v good with them

- A huge part of their espionage function is language!

- They speak German, Spanish, Japanese, FSL, and ASL all idiomatically

- They also speak Russian, French, and Afrikaans, but not fluently

- They can swear and count to ten in Korean and Czech

- They’re pursuing a PhD in computational linguistics, though APO gets in the way

- They’re 24, and have a bizarre set of skills because both of their job, previous jobs and jobs they hold as a cover to pretend they pay their taxes, and special interests

- Sloane is only 7 years older than them, and recruited X out of high school

- At first it was small things, like ‘pick up this book from Elm Street and drop it at Main’ but it got bigger after they graduated

- When X turned 18, they went through formal training - protocol, combat, and analysis

- They’d done some martial arts before hand, but not much punching, mostly kicking, throws, and staffs (5 and 6 feet)

- X’s main job is to clean up messy situations, usually by stealing things or extractions, and their own ops are less combat oriented than the clean ones

- X is not the best at math, not by a long shot, but they can see patterns from a mile away

- “I am the fact guardian, guardian of the facts!” “Puzzles quiver before them!” “FUCK OFF”

- They do simple division when bored and solve a lot of math things by finding patterns and using them

- X is both their designation in the agency (as in ‘x factor’) and their actual name- they use an alias for college

- They live with a few people, most of whom complain at their erratic sleep schedule and ask that please, for the love of god, X gets sleep meds and just a solid 8 hours, for once

- Sloane eventually sends X on an op to extract Mel, Sloane’s girlfriend and top operative

- X doesn’t know what to tell Mel, so mostly they just tell them that things will be answered later

- Mel asks Sloane, who reluctantly explains X’s role, and this sets some things into motion of X eventually being brought into the spotlight

- They have several hearings about their activities

- Eventually, Seville (who runs things? I guess) tells them to carry on as they do, reporting directly to Sloane, but they are recognized now by the APO

- There are three other things I want to fit in:

- Goes missing for [period of time], leaving a very close friend behind, comes back after being presumed dead and no memories, apparently solved a conspiracy and now has many illegal friends who all enjoy thievery

- Magic is a thing (because it wouldn’t be my words if it wasn’t lmao) and common enough that people know it exists but rare enough that it’s kinda intimidating and sometimes people will freak out about it, despite plenty of people having it.

X has/develops magic at some point but is terrified to tell anyone and tries to hide it from their team (which is now their family, love that trope) because they don’t want to be barred from the APO, but it comes out accidentally during a mission

- X’s infodumping saves the day somehow

The Celestian

- K so this is more about an organization, but the Celestian lives in a like a 1920s fantasy setting and likes dancing

- They run a social activism group masquerading as a crime network that uses queer bars and stuff as fronts

- To get money, they dance competitively with their bodyguard and d8m8, the BFF (butch femme fatale) who identifies as a nb lesbian

- To get into any of the places where actual political dismantling and activism happens, who have to have very specific patterns on your nails - nail painting is a method of communication and is also a huge teambuilding exercise

- There are different codes for everything

- When cops try and get in (they can only find the places if they have a member of the Queer Folk), the code is “blue denim” and then the person caught tells the police they need nail polish and then laugh as they get caught, as if they were bullshitting the whole thing

- Other things are called “10:50 am” which looks like a sleepy eye

- Or “songbird rhapsody” which is also a popular song that the Celestian sings at clubs

- Or “money” which is just a green splotch on all the nails

- If you’re a member of the Queer Folk, you get a crate monthly of money and nail polish, and special things on birthdays and holidays

- The Queer Folk do everything from organize protests to take kids in and try to pay for their education through crime - as in robbery from different places

- Their crimes always have a certain flair to them - they value creativity and snazziness

- The Celestian is like 5’ 3” (which, to be fair, is 3 inches taller than I am) and the BFF picks them up a lot

- They don’t like alcohol or caffeine but drink herbal tea 24/7

- If they don’t, something is very, very wrong

- They have a prosthetic leg

Red

- Literally in high school

- A warlock! They traded their gender and all “gender identifying features” to a trans demon for magic powers

- The demon mostly asks them to get coffee and stuff because the demon isn’t very good at bargaining and just wanted Red’s gender, but it’s expected of a patron to keep using the warlock for things

- (on the demon phone) “hey so this is super duper important and if you could get it in the next half hour that’s the best thing”

“what is it”

“alright so go to the corner of Lincoln and Greenleaf, turn three times to your right, once to your left, and a door should open behind you. Don’t try to turn towards it, just fall backwards”

“if I fall onto poison ivy or concrete I’m breaking my fucking contract”

“No, no no no, you’ll appear in that good good heaven spot”

“… the coffee shop?”

- Red focuses on science in their school

- Every interaction is a deal. E V E R Y I N T E R A C T I O N

- Breakfast? “I’ll give you the salt if you hand over the pancakes”

- Entering a building? “Hold the door open and I’ll give you praise”

- School? “You want me to tell you what I do in my spare time? Give me an A on my midterm and I’ll tell you”

- The last one has left a lot of teachers confused and more than a little scared of the silly little nerd in their class

- Honestly, they have straight A’s because they make deal after deal about grades. They never cheat on tests, but they make deals, hold people to them, and know what they’re doing

- Red’s demon is getting a little worried with all the deals

- Red is most accustomed to deals rather than anything else because they think that unequal exchange (i.e., gifts) is really suspect

- That said, Red has no problems altering “equal” exchange to benefit them

- If they ever became a business owner, they would be terrifying

- They want everything to turn out the best it can for every one but… are not fans of laws

- They have many Opinions on law, its enforcement, and the government

- That cousin that will tell you constantly about how the government is corrupt and should be rebooted with the youngest people as the primary interest

- Anarchy? Not quite, but revolution? Most definitely

- No angst, just high school silliness and chaos

- Has no idea what’s going on 90% of the time - a kid on a sportsball team did something amazing, people started treating him like shit for adults liking him, and Red had no idea until like 3 months later

- Red just kinda lives in their head

- Did they hear what you just said? Nah, but they sure did hear that wristwatch every time it clicked on the second.

- Likes the sound of adventure, but mostly gets lost in Ikea and makes deals with the eldritch monsters in the mattress section

- SUCH A SHITTY SENSE OF DIRECTION, COULD GET LOST IN A GRID WITH MAPS AT EVERY INTERSECTION

- Charismatic, but mostly in the sense of lying their ass off and persuading people

- Once tried to go a day without making a deal (on a dare), ended by making a deal to not have to ever do that again

- Businesses both hate and love them - they pay for nothing but will bargain away odd things of equivalent value every time and catch shoplifters, dislikes shoplifters because it’s not a fair trade

- Bizarrely good luck with finding things in pockets, particularly to “pay” for things

[thelovingschool]

The Fantastic Four to the Fourth Power, Part 2 -- My Crucible Experience

I've recently finished Doris Kearns Goodwin's excellent book, Leadership in Turbulent Times, in which she details the ways in which four US presidents served as leaders through pivotal historical moments. As I wrote in my previous post, there were commonalities among the four presidents in the ways they led during critical times. I enjoyed learning about those turbulent times, yes, but I also really enjoyed part two of the book, in which Goodwin describes how each president, earlier in their lives, underwent a “crucible” moment, a transformative experience that was instrumental in shaping the identities of the leaders they would become. The ways in which each president transformed themselves was both intriguing and highlighted the differences among them. Reflecting on those differences and on my own experiences has led me to an interesting idea. Let me explain.

My own crucible experience was not brought on by loss, as was the case for our presidents, to whom I promise to return. In the summer of 2016, I traveled to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, as part of the Lehigh University Global Distance Program. I had been teaching overseas for over ten years, and was interested in moving into school leadership. Lehigh had (and has) the best program for international teachers to earn their MEds through a hybrid program, some courses online, some face-to-face. I had been teaching in Panama for a year, and had taken courses via Zoom already. But that summer I packed a bag, said goodbye to my wife and one-year-old son, and lived in a dorm for five weeks with a bunch of other international teachers, leaders, and counselors, while I took three educational leadership courses. I dove into the experience as much as I could -- reading every additional article that was assigned, organizing social outings with my peers (Go Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs!), and learning as much as I could. The three courses, Organizational Leadership and Change Management, School Law, and Diversity and Multicultural Understanding, all unlocked within me a greater knowledge about my career as an educator and my life in general than I ever thought possible. I was so fortunate to have the experiences I did, and gain the insights that I did, that I returned with a passion to collaborate, serve, and lead, that I simply hadn’t had before. It was truly transformational. I think of my career before that summer and after.

The first course I took led me to an insight that, when I had it, must have seemed obvious to my outstanding professor, Dr. George White. We were studying Bolman and Deal’s Reframing Organizations, in which the authors describe the four frames of organizational leadership: structural, human resources, political, and cultural/symbolic. It’s a fantastic book, and George brought the text to life in a way that few teachers have ever brought a book to life. Because these frames are important to the rest of these blog posts I want to take a minute to review them. The structural frame involves order. Timetables, roles and responsibilities, hierarchies, logistics. Important in the structural frame are things like job titles and job descriptions. As my partner principal Brian would describe it, the structural frame is the “systems and structures” frame. George professes that he himself is not a systems and structures guy, but he understands the importance of viewing the organization through that frame. The second frame is human resources. Essentially this is about caring for your colleagues, and attending to their needs. A leader viewing things from the HR frame wants to help empower her or his staff and help them grow. The political frame was described by George as essentially Game of Thrones. A battle for survival. The battle was over important resources: people, time, space, and funds. In order to succeed in viewing the organization through this frame a leader has to be a politician. As Heifetz and Linsky would say, use allies well, keep the opposition close, and court the uncommitted. Political savviness is a vital part of leadership (and an area in which I still have lots of room for growth). The final frame is the cultural/symbolic frame. This has to do with the story of the organization; its rituals and traditions. A leader who understands how to view things through this frame knows the symbolic importance of certain members of the organization who maintain those traditions, and how important it is to frame the narrative well with respect for the past along with progress toward the future. Story matters, as all of our presidents found out. The trick, and the tricky part, is to be able to balance the four frames, so that as a leader you are not viewing the organization too much from any one frame, and also that you aren’t neglecting any frames.

This was a phenomenal lesson to learn, and one I have found helpful as I analyze leadership challenges we face at our school. But George wasn’t done there. We also focused on change management in the course, and spent some time discussing Shapiro and Stefkovich’s work, Ethical Leadership and Decision Making in Education. These authors describe four foundations for ethical decision making. As a student of philosophy, I’m all in for any discussion of ethics. In fact, fifteen years previously, I took a graduate course called Foundations of Ethics through the BC Philosophy department, where Professor Patrick Byrne described his love for “Bernie and the Two Janes,” or Bernard Lonergan, the Jesuit theologian, Jane Austen, the author, and Jane Jacobs, the sociologist. I love Lonergan and Jane Austen too. I mention them briefly because I feel my life’s work is devoted to understanding how Lonergan’s philosophy applies to educational leadership, and because Jane Austen is JK Rowling’s favorite author. Later in this post we will finally get to a discussion of Harry Potter! But for now, ethical foundations.

Shapiro and Stefkovich describe four ethical foundations for decision making: the ethic of justice, ethic of care, ethic of critique, and the ethic of the profession. A better summary than mine can be found here, but I’ll give it a try. The ethic of justice is exactly what it sounds like: making decisions based on a sense of fairness, equality, equity, respect. Legality matters to those who make decisions based on the ethic of justice. The questions that drive those who make decisions based on the ethic of justice are WHAT and HOW. Essentially this is Plato in The Republic, meditating on what justice really is. The ethic of care involves being empathetic toward others. There is a lot of great work happening now in education regarding compassion and dignity, and treating everyone with both. This work arises from an ethic of care. The question that drives the ethic of care is FOR WHOM, and it arose out of the work of the feminist Carol Gilligan. The ethic of critique asks the question WHO. As in who benefits from the way things are being done now? Who made the decisions? Notice the difference between the subjective ‘who’ and the objective ‘whom’ in the ethics of critique and care, which is one of my favorite grammar lessons to teach, and says everything to me about both of those foundations for decision making. One of my undergraduate courses was Philosophy of Education, in which I was introduced to Paulo Freire, and the ethic of critique fits his ideas in Pedagogy of the Oppressed. The ethic of critique is about power, who has it and who wields it, and also asks, “is that right?” Finally, the ethic of the profession is specific to the context. Similar to the hippocratic oath for medical professionals of “do no harm,” educators have a responsibility to those they profess to educate. This ethic comes down to the fundamental question of WHY we do what we do in this profession. As I wrote in the last post, if we don’t understand our WHY as educators, if we’ve lost our purpose, Baruti Kafele will rightly tell us we should just get out of the profession. It’s about us as educators evaluating our own decision-making values in light of the fact that we are all here to serve our students and their learning.

So this is all well and good, but I don’t mean to just write book report after book report. I want to make a point. And what I pondered in that course five summers ago with Dr. White was the simple notion that there are four frames of organizational leadership and there are four foundations for ethical decision making. Four. Four of them. Four of each. Why four? Is there some significance here? And then it hit me. The four frames align PERFECTLY with the four foundations for ethical decision making.

The structural frame is about order, systems, structures. In a sense, it is about fairness. It IS the lens through which the ethic of justice is viewed.

The human resource frame is about compassion, empathy, meeting our staff’s needs. It IS the lens through which the ethic of care is viewed.

The political frame is all about utilizing power to exert influence and gain control over time, people, space, and financial resources. It’s about control, and who is controlling. The ethic of critique is finely attuned to understanding this frame, as it asks who is exerting power.

Finally, the symbolic/cultural frame has everything to do with the story of the organization, with its purpose, with its WHY. Therefore, those who base decisions on the ethic of the profession are inherently interested in the important symbolic nature of what they do.

To illustrate this further I’ll start this small table:

So as I was thinking about this, and wondering not only if this made sense, but also if this mattered at all, I started seeing other sets of four arise in educational literature, leadership literature, and self-knowledge literature. Fours are EVERYWHERE. Those fours started really turning the wheels in my mind, thinking about not only ways to organize and think about what we do, how we do it, who we are, and why we do it, but also how those organizational frameworks can help us better understand how to do it better. These connections will continue to be the subjects of future posts.

Of course, I also thought of some pop culture sets of four: The Fantastic Four and the Beatles came immediately to mind. But what really struck me were the four houses in Hogwarts: Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Ravenclaw. How THESE align with the four frames and the four ethical foundations is the subject of my next post. Thanks again for reading!

[beebosbitchh]

1-65 ;)

holy heck ! thank you sophiw i lov u 🍒

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

i dont understand this question?? like sometimes i doubt my own existence and other times i doubt that i exist to certain ppl? ya?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

2,, normal amount? like good for sleep but pitch black is scaryy but not to the point i need the escape ?? if that makes sense??

3. The person you would never want to meet?

guy fieri, i dont think i need to know if hes actually real ? like is he real and from this dimension or from flavortown (which he has a very scarily detailed description of)?? thats not something i need to know

4. What is your favorite word?

hmm, probably ‘fam’ obviously

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

a willow tree !!!!!!!!!! i just talked to my mom about this :-0

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

ngl but i dont look in the mirror anymore unless its lip syncing along to a song sung by a guy/someone w a deeper voice bc i feel like it suits me better! gotta love coping w dysphoria!

7. What shirt are you wearing?

baseball tee, gay

8. What do you label yourself as?

nb, lesbian, fool

9. Bright room or dark room?

dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

slepe

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

10-11 when i was in 5th grade. i still only had two friends but i was way more extroverted and everything was so carefree and i was very invested in adventure time and art. i think that was the most of a childhood i got? i honestly did not do much as a kid and i wish i had..

12. Who told you they loved you last?

sophiw ! tumblr user almightyportraits ! the loml !

13. Your worst enemy?

x

14. What is your current desktop picture?

one from apple called ‘abstract shapes’ its very orange but also blue which is my fave color pairing atm so its perfect

15. Do you like someone?

tumblr user vahilla

16. The last song you listened to?

megan played ‘marceline’ by willow in her car ! a song i suggested to her a few months ago and it makes me very happy that she likes it especially bc we bonded over adventure time in 6th grade :-)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

mmyy seelfff ??

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

mmmyseyyffelllff ??

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? 

eh whats the point

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

n o ne ? 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

what is the opposite of nb,, i feel like if i was opposite of how i present id be a girl, which is a verryyy weird thought for me, pass

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

no :-/

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

uh first of all blood, like, ill pass out,, second of all,, literally everything worries me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

jimmy johns #16, turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato, NO MAYO

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

im a very practical person so the least boring answer i can come up w is more art supplies

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

denmark

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

fukcing , acetoNe

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i think a FIRST rule would have to be pretty IMPORTANT so probably smt like how ~WE THE PEOPLE~ are all EQUAL would be a pretty good start and pretty UNDENIABLE and STRAIGHT FORWARD especially if it was the FIRST thing in this,, hmm lets call it the CONSTITUTION, in the completely hypothetical society

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuk cufck ufc kfuck 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

sunglasses??!!! that shit gotta be bright huh>?? gotta protect my retinas 

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wanna say my first relationship made me a better person but that shit was rreeeaaallyyyy fucking awful and 4 months (+recovery months) that i will never get back and i think ? maybe ?? i wouldve been ok without it ? idk just a thought

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! 

spain ?!?!? why not + i sorta know the language? thatd b cool

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

zoey my dog :-( i miss her a lot, this month it will have been two years oh my god i miss her so much

34. What was your last dream about?

the last one i remember was a nightmare about someone tryna murder me i was very scared

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

i think so , when i was two i got really really sick and couldve died ?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

ahh yes ! we gave hhimm,, fruit snack nipples, please forgive me fathr

38. What is the color of your socks? 

grey w blue n orange stripes ( again i lov blue n orange together, my shirt is teal and i have an orange hat on wow)

39. What type of music do you like?

all! i had to train this new guy at work and im sooo awkward but once why started talking about music it was easy for me to talk bc it was smt we both really like !!! i felt like i could actually communicate w feeling a disconnect it was nice ! we talked mostly about rap which was cool and unexpected but i could do it ? i really love music and i love being able to know enough to talk about it ,, isk 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises, ive been pushing myself to wake up unreasonably early to have more time to myself and i get to watch the sunrise most days which is nice

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate 

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

whom?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

college? god i dont even know… smt w art.. by an illustrator or art teacher or freelance artist or graphic designer ,, i really dont know

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

one thing ?!!?!? i wish i was neurotypical

46. Are you reliable?

yes? i try hard to be? i hope so ?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

u still a lil bitch ?

48. Do you hold grudges? 

nope i try not to, ive had too many toxic petty people in my life that i dont need to be one myself.. now this is grudges w/o reason, but if ive given people several ‘second chances’ and theyre still (thumbs down) then ill avoid them but w/i reason?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

DOG HORSES BIG DOGs

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

mm probably smt w my lab partner from last year. she always sends me weird quotes from a fanfiction shes reading and its weird but i really appreciate that she still talks to me or talks to me at all tbh

51. Are you a good liar?

nooo ?? i try not to lie? mb not tell the full truth but idk , i feel like id feel too guilty

52. How long could you go without talking?

uhh literally days like i already fucking do.. i m taking this as verbally but i dont get texts so like, it would not be hard

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

before i went to short hair i used to alllwaayyys wear a tight ponytail every single day bc i wasnt girly enough to do anything w it and it was really really gross like thank god i cut it all off

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

heck yeah

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

*clears throat*

h-

hewwo?

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter and jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

x

58. What would be you dream car?

razor scooter

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

sometimes im just too physically or emotionally exhausted to stand so ill just,, lay down? ive fallen asleep in the shower before ha

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yup

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

whenever it comes up but i dont ,, seek it out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Q

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons tf

64. What do you think about babies?

evil, ugly, dont see the appeal. open ur eyes ppl !!!! bbs are n Ot cute !!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

x

[romantic-barista]

All of the history questions. All of them.

1. Who is your favourite historical person?

- I’m interested in world leaders and finding out why they were so fucked up lmao. But, I think FDR is pretty interesting, I guess.

2. What is your country most famous for in history?

- abolishing slavery?

3. What is your country most infamous for in history?

- slavery and slaughtering natives

4. Favourite historical era?

- ... tbh, industrial. 

5. Favourite weapon?

- ... hmm, i’m not sure but i like guns?

6. Military unit?

- don’t have one!

7. Historical dressing, uniform, or costume?

- all the victorian dresses that aristocrats wore

8. What is the last thing you have read, listened to, or spoken of with historical reference?

- ... hmm, my american government book? 

9. Favourite historical film?

- ... Life is Beautiful. It’s so fucking sad but amazing.

10. What pieces of art (i.e. paintings, sculpures, lithographies, etc.) related to history do you like the most?

- ... I don’t really have art that relates to actual history that i like, mostly just art of gods/goddesses that’s “old”

11. Have you ever participated in reenactment? What it was like?

- haven’t. 

12. Would you take part in reenactment? In what era and as whom?

- possibly and would do some sort of medic, but I don’t know what era appeals to me.

13. [share some random historical trivia!]

- FDR had polio and they would make him stand in photos so that he would appear to be able-bodied for the press and to the american people. there’s only one pic in existence of him in his chair.

14. Why are you are interested in history?

- I really like knowing what things happened so that we won’t repeat them. Also, some old ads really interest me as a comm major.

15. Were the history classes taught in an interesting way in your school, college, or university? What would you do to improve them if you were the teacher/lecturer?

- They were sorta taught interesting. My history high school teacher let us watch Spirited Away, Life is Beautiful, and some other films from around the world for world history, told puns, and he had this amazing charming laughter if he wasn’t older than me and married with 3 kids i’d so date him

- In college so far, it hasn’t really been interesting. :/ 

16. Do you own some historical item (e.g. coin, clothing, weapons, books, etc.) If yes, which one is your favourite?

- I have replica ww2 spectacles from a friend that I’m pretty sure killed himself from online bullying and dress gloves from my aunt mary that are also circa ww2 (and authentic). My dad has a bullet shell from my uncle bud that passed away that he got from my aunt mary one year for christmas. my fav are the gloves.

17. What historical item would you like to own?

- I’d like to own some old swords or guns or old everyday items like brushes and combs.

18. Look at the clock and assume the numbers are forming a historical year (e.g. 17;58 would be 1758) What is the world like in that year? Any important events? 

-10:16. 

19. What's your favourite historical book?

- I don’t really have historical books that I like, but I like historical fiction?? 

20. Who, if anyone, is your historical crush?

- ... hmm, I don’t think I can crush on people from before our time bc they’re dead and bc I’d have to like their personality too

21. What is your favourite history-based game?

- ... I don’t play history-based games bc they’re boring lol.

22. [random historical fact about the place you're living in right now]

- In 2000, Kalamazoo Valley Museum was voted the top small museum in Michigan by readers of Michigan Living Magazine. (the museum is owned by my college)

23. What's your favourite historical song or song containing historical references?

- I guess, Senbonzakura or 1925. both are vocaloid songs bc i’m a nerd.

24. Who do you consider to be one of the most underrated historical figures?

- ... I’d say there’s a lot of underrated lgbt icons. 

25. Who is the most overrated historical figure, in your opinion?

- Christopher Columbus. He raped native women, cut off native’s tongues, and killed them with the spread of disease + would torture them. He’s not fucking cool. 

26. Who do you think is a forgotten hero we should know about and admire?

- Idk, there’s not really any people I think that I can admire because they’re all secretly assholes...?

27. What's your favourite historical "What if..." scenario?

- What if we didn’t participate in ww2?

28. Do you have a favourite "dream team" of historical figures living at the same time in a specific era of history?

- nope

29. Are there any great historical mysteries that you are interested in?

- ... hmm, I’m interested in assassinations and all the “mysterious” deaths/unsolved cases but that’s not really history, lol

30. [ask me a question of your own devising]

- you didn’t ask one

[auburnfamilynews]

(Author’s note:  My best friend from Auburn lost his fight against cancer this past Saturday.  Even though I haven’t contributed anything new in a long, long time, I am reposting this old column from six years ago, which I also reposted on the occasion of his mother’s death two years ago.)

One spring afternoon in the mid-eighties, having previously seen the invitation painted on the cafeteria windows, I began walking from my class at Haley Center over to Foy Union to sign up for the College Bowl academic competition.  As I started toward Foy, I noticed a fellow of large stature (who naturally stood out from the crowd) about thirty feet in front of me walking in the same general direction.  Oblivious to me behind him, he crossed Thatch Avenue and headed for the back entrance to the cafeteria, the exact same route I was choosing.  I had the strange feeling I was following him, even though there was a long way to go and many different turns on my way.

The fellow in front entered the cafeteria and turned to go past the backed-up, stacked-up rows of used trays and dishes on the cafeteria conveyor belt, once again seemingly anticipating the direction I was heading.  He turned down the corridor leading to the elevator, again the same way I was headed.  By this time I think that fellow started to feel like somebody was stalking him for some reason.  We both got on the elevator together, both got off on the third floor, and both walked into the small former storage closet that housed the AU College Bowl team, both feeling a little awkward at having made this dance all the way through the bowels of Foy Union.

That’s how I met Bill Jones, the person I call my “best friend from Auburn” and one of the best friends ever in my life.  During our concurrent time on the Plains, we spent many, many days together on College Bowl road trips and at Auburn football games, and way, way too much time in front of the pinball machines and video games in the Foy Union game room.  When I couldn’t make it home all the way to Florida for nonbreak holidays such as Easter, Bill took me to his home in Montgomery, where I became the proud owners of a second set of parents. (I love you, Mr. and Mrs. Jones!)

Our college careers diverged somewhat: I went straight through and got two degrees in accounting at Auburn; Bill continued at AU and finished up a math degree a year later.  I went into accounting and Bill started in software development.  We both moved around different places in the Southeast, always staying in touch and sharing the triumphs and challenges of young single life.

Our social and political philosophies also diverged, I becoming more conservative than ever and Bill leaning much the other way.  Even our interest in and identification with Auburn (both the institution and the football program) would wax and wane, usually at completely different times.

But our lives also criss-crossed so many ways.  We were roommates for a while when I was between jobs (both of us just happened to end up in Atlanta at that time, for different reasons).  Later on, we were even groomsmen in each other’s weddings within the space of a month (not planned, just happened that way).  And through the years we always shared that bond of being Auburn men, no matter the extent to which we self-identified as such at any particular time.

Recently, I was out of work for a year and a half, all through Auburn’s 2010 National Championship run.  Bill and I had both ended up in Atlanta for a second time, again under totally separate circumstances.  So, we got together to watch almost every AU football game that season, with him keeping up my naturally pessimistic spirits during my mostly fruitless job search.  When we each got “snowed in” for the BCS Championship, we kept in touch the whole game via text messages and celebrated by phone after that kick went though the uprights.  We both observed that that season was the first time in a while that either of us had strongly felt a part of the Auburn Family.

Later, I was the one with the job, while Bill was “in transition,” as they say.  On top of that, Bill had a couple of health problems from which he is recovering.  Through all of these struggles, Bill maintains the positive (enough) attitude that has always marked him in his own challenges.

In 2013, I broke my fibula playing Rugby with guys a half and a third my age. (“That’s what you get,” said more than one acquaintance, including my beloved bride.)  With my right foot in a cast, I could not operate an automobile for the hour-and-a-half commute to my job.  Bill knew I needed face-time at the office and offered to take me into work two days a week just for gas money.  As Bill’s home was between my home and my office, he basically took on double the time of my own commute, plus, due to the timing of our ride, more time in the snarled Atlanta traffic than I usually spent (well, at least we had some good company).

With me and my crutches and him with his cane, I started to nickname us the “Gimp Brothers” (but then I remembered that scene from Pulp Fiction…).  I thought back to our salad days of yore when two young guys with a world of possibilities in front of them would ride around singing along to the car cassette player or would be hollering and cheering during amazing AU comebacks like the 1987 Iron Bowl and the 1990 FSU fumble-rooskie game.  Those two invincible guys back in the past could never picture the “sorry” state in which we now found ourselves—surprisingly still hanging out with each other but beat up physically (and a little bit mentally) by life.

(I must interrupt these reflections on my friend Bill to tell you of an even more wonderful blessing bestowed upon me.  My wife Eileen, a teacher, was SO looking forward to her week off for winter break in February.  These breaks in the school year are her own personal time to recharge and take care of things.  Bill could not transport me and my cast during the particular week Eileen was off.  Knowing how important getting into the office was to me, this woman effectively gave up her precious break and dragged me into work the whole week, many days killing time—HER time—during my workday on my office’s side of town.  Add to that the days she took off to cart me to work several other weeks, all the personal care she gave me during my time of limitation, and you see why I will always say I have the best wife in the whole world.)

Now, this column isn’t just a well-deserved paean to my friend nor is it a mere warm-and-fuzzy piece about our shared Auburn heritage.  No, this is a reflection on an amazing fact that I discovered the hard way (the only way I learn anything):  no matter who you are, life is just too freaking hard to make it well—really well—on your own.  If we are truly going to flourish the way God intends us to flourish, we all need the “human touch” of our friends and family.  In turn, we help our own loved ones flourish with their lives.

That doesn’t mean that we relate to everyone we know in the same way.  Sometimes, out of respect (of one kind or another), one must keep some distance from certain others; the important thing is that the folks who are currently apart must know that whenever one really needs the other, that temporary gulf will be bridged faster than Bo Jackson could hit the sideline and score.

Everyone meets great friends at whatever college they attend.  I’d like to think the friends we pick up at our time at Auburn are ones of a special type.  As diverse as we Auburn folks are, we already share many things in common that go beyond the eleven young men for whom we scream on autumn weekends—if not the Auburn Creed, specifically, then the values and outlook on life that the Creed represents.

So, people, I leave you with this: value the friends you have gained in your lifetime, especially those you found at Auburn.  If you haven’t spoken to one in a long time, pick up the freaking phone, burn some rollover minutes and call them up.  It doesn’t have to be for a reason.  Let’s face it, the clock only runs in one direction, and anything can happen at any time.  For the one thing I have learned from my forty-seven years of walking this earth is that, after all is said and done, the only thing you really have in this world is your friends and family—I mean, that’s all you have.

Michael Val

(who believes “in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all.”)

The post “Old Friends, Old Friends” appeared first on Track 'Em Tigers, Auburn's oldest and most read independent blog.

from Track 'Em Tigers, Auburn's oldest and most read independent blog http://trackemtigers.com/old-friends-old-friends-3/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=old-friends-old-friends-3

[theweepingstar]

all the questions for the pride questionnaire please

what is your sexuality?  Pansexual, and um Poly??? I’m not sure about that yet tho

what do gender do you identify as?  Genderfluid/Nonbinary

how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender? Sexuality:  High school, but definitely felt it before then; Gender:  high school, but didn’t embrace it fully until college

do you have any preferences?  Not particularly, I’m attracted to people who are confident in their gender and sexuality, but not specific genders/body type/etc.

share a positive memory about coming out!  Coming out to my friends was nerve racking and I almost had several panic attacks bc I didn’t come out to everyone as a group, but everyone was super supportive towards me and its very nice.

how do you feel about pride month?  I love it!  It’s a great time to celebrate and embrace your pride in your sexuality/gender.  I don’t like the whole corporate crap tagged along with it, but in general, yes.

do you participate in pride related events? any other events?  I’ve been trying to go to my town’s Pride Fest when they have it.  I used to be SUPER active in college bc I was the president of our lgbta club, but now I’m graduated so I’m trying to do what I can.

how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media?  I wish there were more.  I’m starved to watch someone like me on screen and they get a happy ending.  I want other people to be able to see themselves in books and on the screen and be recognized and get good stories.

do you feel pride in who you are?  Absolutely.  It’s hard sometimes with my gender, but definitely.

who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery?  My sibling, Vivian.  My friends.  My mother.

tell us about your first crush?  I’ve had so many XD  My first big crush that I actually did something about was in college.  She was in a class ahead of me, but we were in the same organization.  I love her so much.  We both love working with animals so much, love tea.  We slept over practically every weekend during her last semester in college before she graduated.  It was very lovely.  Some people thought we were dating then tbh, but we weren’t.  But, practically, we might as well have been.  We’ve known each other for over 4 years now, but I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out last year.  While it didn’t work out that well bc it was long distance, I would still like to think that we’re friends.  We’re trying to get back to talking regularly after a few months of silence after the break up.

what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens?  Be yourself and it’s okay to not have everything figured out.  Take your time in discovering yourself.  You have all the time in the world.  Explore!

have you come out to friends and family?  Yes

how do you feel about the term “coming out” ?  I don’t mind it, but I don’t think its obligatory if you’re lgbta.

do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of?  In the sense of oppression and being trapped and not fully yourself, I suppose so.  But you don’t need to come out if you don’t want to.  That is a wholly personal choice.  NO ONE should pressure you into coming out.

any tips on coming out?  Be clear as possible and you may have to explain yourself multiple times.  Be prepared for questions and answer to the best of your ability.  Take it slow.  You don’t need to come out all at once.  You can come out multiple times too to the same person if your identity changes.

what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media?  Killing us

what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media?  Usually everyone is so diverse outside of their sexuality/gender (if you’re watching and consuming particular media), and I love that bc people are actually like that.  They’re diverse!  They’re not just one identity.

what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? I didn’t really have anything in high school about it, but college was a lovely experience.  It was super positive for the lgbta community, especially with a lot of professors in the English department, all of whom I adore.

do you practice safe sex with the same gender?  I would if I was having sex.

what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender?  Being an asshole and thinking you know everything when you don’t.

what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender?  Confidence.  I’m also very in the androgynous look, but its not a deal breaker.   

how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites? I’m here for them.  I think they’re important bc then people can be surround people who would understand them better, even if it is online.  Many physical places for lgbta people to hang out are bars or clubs, which meet at night usually and aren’t usually catering to minors.  So online spaces, and non-adult-only spaces, are super important.

how do you feel about the term “queer” ?  I’m fine with it.  It actually helps me a lot out bc I fall under a crap ton of umbrellas and queer is a lot easier to say than explain the list of things I identify as.

how does you country view the lgbtq community?  Generally speaking, well depending on where you’re at in the country.  The US is huge and it really differs area to area.  Yes we have same sex marriage, but other rights are missing, like adoption, etc.  It could definitely be LOADS better.

favorite lgbtq actor/actress?  Laverne Cox.  Ian McKellan.  Alan Cumming.  Kristen Stewart.

any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news?  Be respectful and don’t make it about you, especially if its something horrific like Orlando.

what’s the most annoying question you have ever gotten?  I actually can’t think of one at the moment.

how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender?  Go for it.  Just don’t be vulgar.  I’ll be vulgar back.

[auburnfamilynews]

(Author’s note:  My best friend from Auburn lost his mother last week.  I am reposting this old column from four years ago.)

One spring afternoon in the mid-Eighties, having previously seen the invitation painted on the cafeteria windows, I began walking from my class at Haley Center over to Foy Union to sign up for the College Bowl academic competition.  As I started toward Foy, I noticed a fellow of large stature (who naturally stood out from the crowd) about thirty feet in front of me walking in the same general direction.  Oblivious to me behind him, he crossed Thatch Avenue and headed for the back entrance to the cafeteria, the same exact route I was choosing.  I had the strange feeling I was following him, even though there was a long way to go and many different turns on my way.

The fellow in front entered the cafeteria, and turned to go past the backed-up, stacked-up rows of used trays and dishes on the cafeteria conveyor belt, once again seemingly anticipating the direction I was heading.  He turned down the corridor leading to the elevator, again the same way I was headed.  By this time I think that fellow started to feel like somebody was stalking him for some reason.  We both got on the elevator together, both got off on the third floor, and both walked into the small former storage closet that housed the AU College Bowl team, both feeling a little awkward at having made this dance all the way through the bowels of Foy Union.

That’s how I met Bill Jones, the person I call my “best friend from Auburn” and one of the best friends ever in my life.  During our concurrent time on the Plains, we spent many, many days together on College Bowl road trips and at Auburn football games, and way, way too much time in front of the pinball machines and video games in the Foy Union game room.  When I couldn’t make it home all the way to Florida for non-break holidays like Easter, Bill took me to his home back in Montgomery, where I became the proud owners of a second set of parents (I love you, Mr. and Mrs. Jones!).

Our college careers diverged somewhat: I went straight through and got two degrees in accounting at Auburn; Bill continued at AU and finished up a math degree a year later.  I went into accounting and Bill started in software development.  We both moved around different places in the Southeast, always staying in touch and sharing the triumphs and challenges of young single life.

Our social and political philosophies also diverged, I becoming more conservative than ever and Bill leaning much the other way.  Even our interest in and identification with Auburn (both the institution and the football program) would wax and wane, usually at completely different times.

But our lives also criss-crossed so many ways.  We were roommates for a while when I was between jobs (both of us just happened to end up in Atlanta at that time, for different reasons).  Later on, we were even groomsmen in each other’s weddings within the space of a month (not planned, it just happened that way).  And through the years we always shared that bond of being Auburn men, no matter what the extent we self-identified as such at any particular time.

Recently, I was out of work for a year and a half, all through Auburn’s 2010 National Championship run.  Bill and I had both ended up in Atlanta for a second time, again under totally separate circumstances.  So, we got together to watch almost every AU football game that season, with him keeping up my naturally pessimistic spirits during my mostly fruitless job search.  When we each got “snowed in” for the BCS Championship, we kept in touch the whole game via text messages, and celebrated by phone after that kick went though the uprights.  We both observed that that season was the first time in a while that either of us had strongly felt a part of the Auburn Family.

Later, I was the one with the job, while Bill was “in transition” as they say.  On top of that, Bill had a couple of health problems from which he is recovering.  Through all of these struggles, Bill maintains the positive (enough) attitude that has always marked him in his own challenges.

In 2013, I broke my fibula playing Rugby with guys a half and a third my age (“That’s what you get,” said more than one acquaintance, including my beloved bride).  With my right foot in a cast, I could not operate an automobile for the hour-and-a-half commute to my job.  Bill knew I needed face-time at the office, and offered to take me into work two days a week just for gas money.  As Bill’s home was between my home and my office, he basically took on double the time of my own commute, plus, due to the timing of our ride, more time in the snarled Atlanta traffic than I usually spent (well, at least we had some good company).

With me and my crutches and him with his cane, I started to nickname us the “Gimp Brothers” (but then I remembered that scene from Pulp Fiction…).  I thought back to our salad days of yore, when two young guys with a world of possibilities in front of them would ride around singing along with the car cassette player, or would be hollering and cheering during amazing AU comebacks like the 1987 Iron Bowl and the 1990 FSU fumble-rooskie game.  Those two invincible guys back in the past could never picture the “sorry” state in which we now found ourselves—surprisingly still hanging out with each other, but beat up physically (and a little bit mentally) by life.

(I must interrupt these reflections on my friend Bill to tell you of an even more wonderful blessing bestowed upon me.  My wife Eileen, a teacher, was SO looking forward to her week off for winter break in February.  These breaks in the school year are her own personal time to recharge and take care of things.  Bill could not transport me and my cast during the particular week Eileen was off.  Knowing how important getting into the office was to me, this woman effectively gave up her precious break and dragged me into work the whole week, many days killing time—HER time—during my workday on my office’s side of town.  Add to that the days she took off to cart me in several other weeks, and all the personal care she gave me during my time of limitation, and you see why I will always say I have the best wife in the whole world.)

Now, this column isn’t just a well-deserved paean to my friend, nor is it is a mere warm-and-fuzzy piece about our shared Auburn heritage.  No, this is a reflection on an amazing fact that I discovered the hard way (the only way I learn anything):  no matter who you are, life is just too freaking hard to make it well—really well—on your own.  If we are truly going to flourish the way God intends us to flourish, we all need the “human touch” of our friends and family.  In turn, we help our own loved ones flourish with their lives.

That doesn’t mean that we relate to everyone we know in the same way.  Sometimes, out of respect (of one kind or another), one must keep some distance from certain others; the important thing is that the folks who are currently apart must know that whenever either one really needs the other, that temporary gulf will be bridged faster than Bo Jackson could hit the sideline and score.

Everyone meets great friends at whatever college they attend.  I’d like to think the friends we pick up at our time at Auburn are ones of a special type.  As diverse as we Auburn folks are, we already share many things in common that go beyond the eleven young men for whom we scream on autumn weekends—if not the Auburn Creed specifically, then the values and outlook on life that the Creed represents.

So, people, I leave you with this: value the friends you have gained in your lifetime, especially those you found at Auburn.  If you haven’t spoken to one in a long time, pick up the freaking phone, burn some rollover minutes and call them up.  It doesn’t have to be for a reason.  Let’s face it, the clock only runs in one direction, and anything can happen at any time.  For the one thing I have learned from my forty-seven years of walking this earth is that, after all is said and done, the only thing you really have in this world is your friends and family—I mean, that’s all you have.

Michael Val

(who who believes “in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all”)

The post Old Friends, Old Friends appeared first on Track 'Em Tigers, Auburn's oldest and most read independent blog.

from Track 'Em Tigers, Auburn's oldest and most read independent blog http://bit.ly/2ozjsnE via IFTTT