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#and probably don’t defend an abuser??
8rujaa · 27 days
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my therapist really saved me….
#tw abuse // tw sa#i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this.#like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her#i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling#literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her#i was so dissociated during our first few sessions#thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out#i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking#i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session#she’s truly incredible.#i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’#i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong#and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’#she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be#best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’#i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply#doing what’s best for me was an option… l#ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress#when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength.#yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D#me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress#im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help.#the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened.#my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’#LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said#’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’#she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point#she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help)#im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it#my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.
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legendariium · 22 days
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Maeglin had to grow up so fast and yet he died so young, too. somethingsomething dior parallel and the difference having a loving parent vs. an abusive parent can make
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cassieberry · 4 months
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vrisik · 3 months
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joking about yaoi really made me forget how awful most yaoi fans actually are
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true-bean · 8 months
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Twitter lesbians are crazy cause they genuinely hate all men
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ourautumn86 · 5 months
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consume
vampire! reader x human! ellie williams
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“ and you can take my flesh if you want girl, but baby don’t abuse it. these voices in my head screaming run now, i’m praying that they’re human. ”
synopsis; heartbroken, for having lost the love of her life, in one of her multiple sleepless nights, the danger creeps through her open window, hungry, famished for blood… a danger with your face.
cw; +18 content! minors dni!! angst (with happy ending), blood, breeding kink, praise kink, praising, dirty talking, degradation, multiple orgasms, oral sex (e! receiving), fingering (f receiving), tribbing, cum eating, dirty talking, dry humping, teasing, overstimulation, blood kink, blood drinking, biting…
That night was like any other. Ellie laying there in absolute darkness and silence, staring at the ceiling, trying to sleep to no avail. She had been crying all day. Like the last 6 days. Unable to stop thinking about you, her girlfriend, who had disappeared almost a week ago with no trace behind. It had all been her fault. If only she had given you a lift that night after the cinema… If only she had insisted when you said you wanted to take a walk back to the apartment… Maybe you would be safe now. Maybe you would be knocking at her door, sleeping beside her… She would be hugging you, kissing you, saying i love you to you in the mornings…
But suddenly, she heard something bumping through the night at the salon of her apartment. Her eyes widened as every single muscle of her body froze in place, expecting, awaiting for the sound to fill the space once again so she could be sure that it was real and not just another trick of her tired mind. Her breathing was quiet, so quiet she may have even stopped breathing at all.
She jumped out of bed when she heard more bumping and crashing down the hall, all six senses on alert and ready to fight. ‘2:45’ her clock read. Someone was inside her apartment, someone who wasn’t supposed to be inside.
“Shit.” she muttered, eyes quickly looking for something to defend herself. Her mind was working on full speed, ‘till her switchblade came to it. Her hands were shaking when she took it in between her fingers, steps silent and careful as she walked towards her door, swinging it open as she heard ruffling from the kitchen.
As she grew closer to it, the refrigerator’s light filled the room and allowed her to see the window she had left just the slightest open, so the apartment wouldn’t get too hot, completely open, the curtains dancing with the wind that came through and inside.
Carefully, she neared the end and corner of the hallway, peeking just the slightest just to see someone rumbling through her fridge, tossing things out of it, breaking glass jars and containers in the process all around the floor. Ellie almost cursed. She couldn’t really see the person, head fully inside the fridge, only a pair of really dirty and torn shorts with messy shoes on sight. Nice, probably a fucking drug addict or psycho. And the phone was just beside the door, across the goddamn kitchen. She would be seen before she could get to it.
She would have to take care of it on her own.
She slowly approached the intruder, knife in hand and silent steps, though her heart jumped on her chest when the person rumbling through her bridge suddenly stopped, froze on the spot. Ellie’s eyes widened, she was feet away from them. There was no possible way she had been heard, right?
Oh but she had…
Her breath hitched when the intruder took a grip on the fridge’s door. Fingers curling, sharp and blood stained nails screeching on the metal.
“Oh shit.” she said, quickly turning around towards the door to run. Run as faster as she could. ‘Cause she knew that whatever it was that was inside her apartment wasn’t human. Not anymore.
However, she couldn’t reach the exit, faster that the human eye, the intruder blocking her way before she could even take a single step.
She stumbled backwards, tripping over a carpet and falling to the floor, knife scattering away from her grip and reach. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” she cursed, her heart hammering against her ribs when the creature stepped closer, her trying to get away, talons digging in the rug. Soon enough, she found herself cornered against the kitchen’s little aisle. She screamed when it lounged itself towards her, straddling her lap, face incredibly close to hers. The light from outside doors made it imposible to figure out its face. Her eyes widened when one of its hands rose towards her face, sharp nails inching closer to her skin. She knew she had to move, now.
In a quick movement, she got herself on top of the intruder this time, one of her hands gripping its wrists to keep it from scaping or moving.
All the words died in her throat when her eyes found those which she had stared into with so much love years on end. Those same eyes that stared up at her in complete silence, fear, embarrassment... “y/n?” she inquired, voice just above a whisper, strangled, hurt…
You looked away before she could look too closely, eyes shut and teary, though it didn’t work since her warm touch tried to cup your cheek, your hands quickly darting to push her away “Don’t touch me!” and —faster than she could follow— crashing against the furthest wall. Your voice was hoarse, terrified… Ellie just stared at you, shock crushing her veins as tears down her cheeks.
It was you.
You clothes were a mess, all bloody and torn on the places you’ve been attacked, hair locks sticking together due to the pool of blood your body had rested on your last moments, skin paler than the moon and colder than pure ice and your eyes… Those eyes that she so adored… Were the color of the purest vermillion she had ever seen. But it was you.
She tried and step closer to you, try to ask where had you been. What had happened. But you rose one of your hands to keep her from doing so, stopping her on her tracks. “Don’t.”
“y/n, baby, please…” she tried.
“Please don’t.” you begged her, voice breaking in sobs. “I’m a monster…” you said, hiding your face, your arms surrounding your body, as if you could hide yourself from her eyes.
She should be confused, and she was, but the fact that you were there, alive, that you were there, back at her, the fact that she could see you one more time, hear your voice… Healed her broken heart, made all that sadness inside of her, choking her, disappear.
Her hands reached for her abandoned phone on the aisle, sending a ‘code red’ message to the group she shared with you and her best friends before putting it back down. Emergency. Making counts, they’d be there in less than 20 min with Dina’s car.
You flinched when she took a step closer, hands raising to your ears. “Stop.” you muttered, but she took yet another step. You could hear everything, from the energy buzzing on the refrigerator, to the flapping of bats’ wings outside the window, the walking of little insects on the gravel, the sound of her tears rolling down her cheeks, her shaky breathing, her quickened heartbeat, the rushing of her blood, the pulse on her neck…
You pushed yourself even harder against the wall, as if you could melt with it, scape.
“y/n, please… Look at me…” she pleaded, she was now just inches away from you. “Please baby…, look at me.”
“Stay away!” you screamed, eyes fully open, red showing against the white. It was then when she saw them; the fangs. White, sharp, deadly fangs that shone under the moonlight, threatening, trying to scare her away. You quickly turned your face away, hiding it.
She knew she should be terrified, all those voices in her head screaming ‘run now’, but she only could think about how beautiful you were.
Your hands pushed against her chest when her hand gently cupped your cheek, brushing your cheek bone, her warmth contrasting against the coldness of your skin and making you shiver.
“Don’t look at me, I’m horrible…” you cried, having nowhere to run when she fully cupped your face, making you stare right at her.
“You’re beautiful.” she muttered, shaking her head, her face so close you could count her beautiful and curly eyelashes. “So fucking beautiful…” you watched her lean in, no fear in her eyes as she stared at your chapped lips.
She needed to kiss you. Needed to make sure that this wasn’t just another one of her dreams, that you were there, back into her arms. That you were still hers, just as she was yours.
Sadly, the sound of car tires against the asphalt brought you two back to the present, and then, knocking in the door. Multiple of them. Dina and Jesse.
“Ellie!!!” Dina called out for her, all the sudden noise making you get startled when Jesse started to scream too. If she didn’t open up soon they’d woke up the neighbors.
“Don’t move.” she said, and with a chaste kiss on your forehead she stepped away. You found yourself missing her touch, her warmth, her smell… But also felt relief. Relief that she wasn’t just mere inches away from you. ‘Cause the only thing you could focus on was in the way the blood in her veins called out for you. Lured you in. Your throat itched, something deep within you begging for just a little taste. You didn’t understand what was going on. The heightened senses, the sensibility, the incredible new speed and strength…
The last thing you could remember was pain. So much pain… And blood, of yourself full aware of your imminent death. Next thing you know? You had woken up in the woods near your town, alone. You didn’t know for how long you’d been asleep, but it felt like ages.
Finally, you’ve crawled your way back into town and somehow found Ellie’s apartment. You didn’t know what had happened. Had you died? Why were you alive? The only thing you knew was that there was something wrong with you. It only took you a glance to yourself on one of her windows to see that.
“What is it?!? What’s wrong!?” Dina inquired as she quickly stepped inside the apartment, bat on hand and ready to swing.
“Guys-“
“Where is the motherfucker? I’ll take care of it.” Jesse said, stepping up with a gun in hand.
“There is no intruder.” Ellie tried to calm them down.
And you could see their bodies relaxing a little bit, muscles not as stiff anymore. Relief.
“Then what is it?” Dina asked, but before the auburn head could answer, you had stepped out of the shadows.
“It’s me.” They got startled by the sudden intrusion in their conversation, ready to fight once again, but when the light that seeped in through the open door of her apartment made you visible, their weapons dropped.
“y—y/n?” they were in shock, frozen in space. In time. Were you real or were they all having a collective hallucination?
You looked at them and gave them a weak smile, insecure, afraid. And that was when they realized that you were indeed real. That it was you.
“Oh my god.” Dina sobbed, covering her mouth with her hands.
They were quick to try and approach you, but Ellie was quicker to step in between to stop them as you staggered backwards.
“Woah, easy.” she rose her hands, eyebrows quirked in a warning. You hid behind her, feeling overwhelmed. They stared at her in confusion. “We need to talk.”
-
“…”
“What the hell?!” Jesse inquired, in shock.
“So… You don’t remember anything?” Dina inquired, as shocked as her boyfriend, who faced you as you sat on Ellie’s couch.
“Nothing.” you nodded, eyes squinting at the light above your head. Head throbbing. You could hear it buzzing. “I just… Suddenly there was a lot of pain. And blood everywhere. And then nothing.”
“Shouldn’t we… Get her to a hospital or something?” Jesse spoke up, winning a ‘really?’ gaze from the girls. “Okay! I’m sorry!” he rose his hands. “Not every day someone dies and comes back from the dead, you know?” he mumbles, barely a whisper.
“Maybe…” Dina started, and everyone looked at her with expecting eyes, as if she had finally might found an answer to whatever is going on. “Maybe not.” she backed up and they sighed.
Your eyes quickly darted to the window when you caught the sound of crickets, they were like sirens ringing right beside you. You tugged your legs closer to your chest, teeth bitting down on your nails.
“And now she has this…, super powers.” Jesse squinted, and Ellie nodded. “Like Superman?” he inquired.
“No. Or yes? I don’t know!” your girlfriend sighed, obviously stressed and overwhelmed by the situation. The conversation only heated up even more after that.
“You don’t know?!”
“No.”
“How come you don’t know?!”
But you weren’t truly listening. Too focused on everything you could catch. The sound of all their breathings, the sound of a couple of fighting cats in the distance, the wind whistling thought the trees branches, your own blood painfully pumping through your dried veins…
“Too much.” you mumbled.
“Dude. I’m telling you. I know about music, not supernatural shit.”
“Guys…” Dina tried and stopped them from fighting.
“But you found her!” Jesse ignored her.
The intensity of the light below you, the feeling of your skin glued to your muscles, the tickling of your hair…
“Too much.” you repeated, teeth breaking the skin of your fingers.
“She was the one that found me!!”
“Jesse, stop.” Dina said, and then everyone was talking over everybody.
You could see the pulse on their neck, their veins pressing against their skin. So vulnerable… So easy… You could almost taste it on your tongue. It’s sweetness, it’s thick and warm consistence sliding down your throat.
“Stop!!!!” your scream almost ripped your throat, so loud you swore you had woken up the whole neighborhood.
They all backed up a little when your red eyes met theirs and your fangs showed up. Dina and Jesse couldn’t help the way their hands twitched with the need to raise their weapons.
You covered your ears when the sound of their quickened hearts pushing against their ribcages got louder, groaning.
“Fuck.” you whimpered, hiding your face. “I’m sorry.” you cried out, voice strained. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to…” and just as Ellie was about to step closer you stoped her. “No. Please don’t.” you curled on yourself, pressing your hands against your face, sobbing. “I’m so hungry.” you cried, suddenly, and if you weren’t that serious about it, you would have laughed about the stupidness of your words. But you felt like dying.
Every goddamn cell on your body burned, begged… Something deep inside you aching to bite, tear… Teeth hurting, fangs growing. You stood up, and in a blink of an eye you were back on her fridge. They seemed surprised, cause you were quicker that the light itself.
Glass broke under your shoes as you searched inside for something that you could eat. Anything. That’s when you smelled it. That sweet metallic smell. Your shaky hands threw everything aside, mouth watering at the sight of a full raw and big steak. Meat. Fresh and bloody cow steak.
Stumbling against the kitchen aisle, you tore down the plastic that enveloped it, nails digging on the softness of it. You couldn’t even think. Hand quick to tear the meat to pieces and push it inside your mouth. You looked like a predator, blood dripping down your lips and chin, down to your chest and onto your torn tee. You hummed, eyes bloodshot and bluish veins growing under your eyes as you fed on it. You sighed, throwing your head backwards, feeling relief yet still not getting rid of that aching deep inside your bones.
When your eyes met your friends’, they were wide open, speechless. They were frozen in place, feet glued to the floor as they watched droplets of blood soak the aisle.
It was then, when you realized what you had done.
And the only thing that you could mutter was a “What’s happening to me?”
-
You were completely silent, sat inside a bathtub full of warm water, Ellie gently washing your hair for you, her own on a low bun as she concentrated on taking every last bit of blood and dirt out of your locks and body.
It was around 4AM. Dina and Jesse had gone home, promising to come back in a few hours after getting some sleep to start thinking about an explanation and a plan to explain your survival and new life style.
“I can…” you tried to say, but she hushed you, gently washing off the shampoo on your hair and the blood on it. You felt relaxed. You should be feeling overwhelmed, since you could smell Ellie everywhere, but just by having her by your side you felt… Safe. Better. Although scared… Better.
“Let me.” she soothed you, giving you a soft smile. You shivered when her fingertips brushed your hair away, head lolling to the side and onto your shoulder. Your skin burned where her warm touch resided. “You alright?” she asked, pouring more water onto your back to wash away the soap from your body.
You hummed, silently allowing her to take care of you through the whole process of washing you clean and rolling you up on a towel to keep you warm as she drained all the dirty water before drying you up.
Her eyes never left your face as she did so, even though you were completely naked in front of her, she only focused on you, on dressing you up on the comfiest clothes she could find on her closet and combing your hair. You swore you had fallen in love yet once again.
You caught her attention when your hands gripped softly her shoulders, her eyes leaving your hair to find yours. “What is it, baby?” she inquired, and you felt tears pooling on your eyes, ‘cause she treated you like always, like she did before you died, before you turned into this… Monster.
You didn’t say anything, you didn’t have to, it was all in your eyes. You felt like melting against her when she got rid of the comb on her hand to hug you closer to her by your waist. You gasped, cause just the simple feeling of her hands was so intense… Her breath against your lips, her hands, her body pressed tightly against you… That you had to pull away before she could kiss you.
“Sorry.” you muttered against her chest, fisting the fabric of her soft tee. She only smiled, shaking her head.
“Let’s go to bed, hm? You need to sleep.” she pressed a little kiss on your forehead before taking your hand and guiding you towards your room.
She tucked you in but didn’t get inside the bed. “You aren’t staying?” you rose to your elbows as she walked to the door.
“I thought…” her mouth opened and closed before continuing, unsure. “I thought about leaving you the bed for tonight so you can-“
“I don’t wanna be alone.” you cut her off, surprising her. “I…“ and before you could continue, she was already by your side. Holding you close. Holding you as if she’d fall apart if she let you go. As of you’d disappear if she let go of you.
You shook in her arms and she was about to pull away, but you hugged her back, trying to not let the overwhelming feeling of her being so close to you prevent you from finally being back into her arms.
“Is this okay?” she muttered softly on your ear, hearing your shaky breathing. You were burning, her warm body tightly pressed against your freezing one, skin tingling where her fingers rested.
You didn’t know how much time you stayed like that. Minutes turned into hours, and soon enough, she had fallen asleep. She was finally sleeping, for the first time in days. And you? You couldn’t even close your eyes.
Whatever you did, all you could see, smell and feel was Ellie. She was making your senses collapse, getting you high as if she were some kind of drug you craved with every fiber of your being.
You could hear her steady and slow heartbeat, feel her soft breathing against your neck, making your skin grow in goosebumps. Your lips mere inches from hers. Against the pulsing vein that called your name with every thump of her heart. Suddenly, that aching deep within you that had subsided after your ‘meal’, came back, making your throat grow dry and mouth water. You only needed to lean just a little bit closer, erase the few inches that separated your lips from her neck and…
In a quick movement you were out of the bed and far away from her, hands covering your mouth as you felt that incredible hunger threatening you to break your bones.
You grunted as you staggered away from the room and outside the apartment, the freezing air of the night hitting your already dead cold skin, yet you couldn’t feel it.
“What’s wrong with me?” you muttered in between sobs. “Why… Why me?” you broke down, unable to stop your crying.
This wasn’t supposed to go this way. You were supposed to rest knowing that you had loved, loved so hard you couldn’t breathe. That you died knowing what true love was. You weren’t supposed to come back, you weren’t supposed to be turned into this… Thing. This monster that scared your friends, a monster that can only think about her girlfriend’s blood on its lips.
Your eyes squinted when a sudden beam of sunlight hit your face. Sunrise. It hurt your eyes, really badly, so you forcefully had to wipe your tears and get back inside, where Ellie was already waiting for you, fully awake. You almost cursed.
“Hey…” she whispered, getting closer to you. “Where did you go? I woke up and you weren’t there anymore.” she was soft, concerned. And it only made you feel worse. Sicker.
“I just went outside for a little. Needed some air.” you gave her a weak smile, eyes resting on the hand that stroke your arm, on the veins on her wrists.
You suddenly felt dizzy. So dizzy you almost fell if it weren’t for the auburn haired, who caught you on time.
“Woah woah, you okay baby?” she inquired, and you nodded.
“Yeah, sorry.” you lied. “I just felt dizzy all of a sudden.”
“Here, sit down.” she helped you get to the couch, never letting go of you. “Jesse and Dina will be here soon, I just got a call from them.” she said, pulling a blanket on top of you. “We’ll make you feel better soon, alright? I promise. We’ll fix this.” she kissed your forehead, the feeling of her lips lingering on your skin, burning. You almost begged for more.
But you knew you couldn’t have more, ‘cause it would never be enough.
You knew you couldn’t have enough. You couldn’t ‘cause you knew it’d consume you.
“We’ve got it! We’ve got it!” you whined when Jesse came rushing inside through the apartments door with a loud bang. “Sorry.” he awkwardly apologized when he saw you holding your head in between your hands.
“What is it that you’ve got?” Ellie asked, munching on cereals. Their crunching only made your headache worse. Whatever you did, it only seemed to get worse by the second. It wouldn’t got away. Like your growing hunger.
“We know what’s wrong with her.” Dina explained.
That made Ellie push everything aside to pay attention and concentrate on what mattered the most: You.
“You know?” you too focused on the group, hope in your red eyes.
“She’s a vampire!” Jesse exclaimed.
“Vampire?” you scoffed. “So you’re saying that I’m a vampire?” you let out a laughter, awaiting for all of them to tag along, but when they didn’t, you slowly fell silent, frowning as you noticed. “I’m a vampire.”
“You’re a vampire.” they all nodded, and you fell backwards onto the couch, a sigh leaving your lips, your mind a mess.
That explains everything.
“And what does this mean? Will I get to live forever? Am I allergic to garlic and holy water now? Will I die if I stay underneath the sun for too long?” you inquired, swallowing harshly. “Will I… Will I need to drink blood for the rest of my life?”
They were all silent for a second.
“Do you feel the need to drink it now?” Dina inquired, taking a seat beside you.
They all awaited expectantly for your answer, which only made you nervously smile. “I guess this isn’t the best moment to say how good all of you smell, right?” you joked, although it didn’t really seem to get them. “Yeah, sorry.” you muttered, curling yourself in the blanket.
“So…, what do we do now? ‘Cause she surely doesn’t look really good and It’s not like we can get blood anywhere, right?” Jesse inquired, and once again there were a couple of seconds of silence.
“She could drink from me.” Ellie suddenly said, and the whole group looked at her with a surprised face and widened eyes, even you.
“No.” you quickly blurted out before any of them could add anything.
“But y/n…” Dina tried and talk you down, but you were quick to turn her down.
“No.” you repeated, harshly this time. “I’m not gonna drink from Ellie nor any of you.” your fangs showed as you stood up, tossing away the blanket and stepping away and towards Ellie’s room. “I’d rather die of thirst first.” and with that, you closed the door.
-
“y/n, baby, please…” she pleaded. You had heard her talking with the group just a few minutes earlier, they had been coming every morning to ask for and about you. Each day that went by more and more concerned.
It had been almost a week since your last encounter and since you had grounded yourself in her room under the promise that you’d rather die than drink from them. They had even snuck into the hospital and somehow stolen a blood bag and brought it to you, but you yet turned it down, unable to —even though your hunger was tearing you apart—, drink it up. ‘Cause you knew that if you did, whatever that this curse was would be real. You’ve done your research, —well, the group had and you’ve heard— and you knew that you only had a few days to drink human blood to complete the transition and become a full vampire or else you’d die.
You hadn’t left her room since then, —unless you had to make a short trip to the bathroom—, burying yourself in between her sheets, ignoring her every time she tried to make you change your mind.
You were dead. And you’d be in just a couple of days. That’s how it had to be. The natural course of things. Ellie didn’t deserve to be stuck with a leech for the rest of her life —‘cause you knew that she loved you enough to do so if you didn’t walk away—, she deserved someone who was still alive, someone warm, someone who didn’t need to consume human blood to survive and that will live forever. Someone who she could take out without having to hide or be scared to be discovered due to a slip.
She deserved the best she could get. And that wasn’t you. That would never be you anymore.
So you’d wither. You’d sleep. And when the time came, you’d turn back to the dust that you came from.
“Please, look at me.” your heart broke every time she would face you, kneeled on the floor, on her knees and begging for you to just stare at her. But you couldn’t, ‘cause you knew that if you did, if you looked into those beautiful green eyes of hers, you’d give in. You’d listen. You’d let her convince you to drink her blood and live.
And you couldn’t do that to her.
“Baby…” he was desperate. Tears prickling her eyes as she caressed your hair, your hollowed cheeks and prominent cheekbones, warm fingertips against your cold stone skin, which slowly turned into ice. You looked like a living corpse, with thinning hair and the palest skin, which started to show your bones due to starvation.
You could smell the blood on her veins, your stomach turning on itself, urging you to bite down on her wrist and suck. You squeezed your eyes shut as your tongue dampened your chapped grayish lips, fighting off the urge to feed on her, to sink your teeth on her neck, but she saw it, how those little veins below your eyed appeared and your fangs pushed against your bottom lip. She felt like dying along with you with every day that passed by.
“Please, don’t do this to me…” she muttered, unable to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. “Don’t let me lose you again.” she pleaded.
And you couldn’t help to look at her when your ears took in the sound of the droplets falling onto the floor.
And just like every time she looked at you, she took your breath away. You hated it, hated the way she would make you weak on the knees even on this situation, make you want to make up your mind, convince yourself that everything would be fine and that it was right to live beside her.
“Don’t leave me.” she sobbed, making you feel like you’d fall apart right and there. “I need you. I can’t sleep if you are not there for me to hold. I can’t breath of you’re not around. I can’t think, I can’t function if you’re not there.” your cold hand cupped her cheek, making her take a shaky and hurtful breath as you tried and wipe away her tears. “I can’t live without you.”
“You can’t live with me now either.” you whispered, your voice breaking due to the amount of days you’ve stood silent and the dryness of your throat. She shook her head, trying to talk, but you went ahead and cut her off. “I can’t be with you. Not like this. I’m dead Ellie… I’m a monster. I’ll never age with you. If we ever wanted to, we wouldn’t be able to have kids… I’d watch you get older, and die. And I’d still be here, for eternity. An eternity without you. Without the love of my life…” you muttered, unable to hold in your tears any longer. “You need someone that can give you all those thing, Ellie. You deserve it…”
She was shaking her head, needing to tell you that none of that was real. That she loved you the same. That you weren’t a monster. That you both could adopt if you ever wanted a kid. That she’d never be able to find another love. ‘Cause you were it for her.
And she did, she said it all out loud without even realizing it. Pouring her heart out for you to see, For you to take. For you to hold on to.
“I love you. I’ll always love you. I’ll die for you. I’ll find a way to live with you forever. ‘Cause that’s all I ever wanted, an eternity by your side. An eternity that was taken away from me one time. And that now I’d not let get away again. So please… Love me. Choose me. Choose me over all the odds. And if you need to, kill me. ‘Cause either ways, I’d be dead without you.” she said, taking your hand and pushing it against her chest, over her heart. It sounded almost strained, ready to burst, to break in a million places.
You couldn’t. You couldn’t say no. Not when you loved her so much it hurt.
She was quick to held you in between her arms when you gave in, hands gently pulling from you to straddle her lap, chest against chest, tightly pressed against one another. “I’m yours. My blood is yours.” she said, one of her hands softly brushing your hair and guiding you to the crook of her neck, where her pulse pressed against her soft skin. “You can bite me, sweetheart. I’m all yours.” she promised, assuring you that it was okay. That she was okay.
You felt the hunger kick in like a tidal wave, making your skin crawl and your breath shake. You could smell it, almost taste it. Eyes turning red as you neared your lips to her neck, the hand on your hair never faltering, steady, ready. She shivered when your lips brushed against her skin, her head tilting even more to the side to give you all the space you needed.
And before you could realize it, blood was spilling inside your mouth. Warm sweet blood that made you grip her bare shoulders and hum as you sucked. Her fingers dug on your hips, gasping when she felt the pinch of your fangs and droplets of blood slid down her neck and onto her shirt.
“That’s it, baby.” she said, pulling you closer and relaxing against the bed’s headboard. “Take as much as you need.” she muttered, sighing at the new and strangely pleasant feeling of the bite.
She had made herself aware about the fact that it would probably hurt. In the end, her neck was being punctured. But strangely enough, it felt…, nice. Incredible even.
Her head felt all fuzzy. She felt…, high. At least there was no other way to describe it. It was probably an effect of the bite, an aphrodisiac, to soothe the ‘prey’ so they won’t fight as you drank from them.
She felt amazing. And so did you.
Her blood was the best thing you’ve ever tasted. You couldn’t get enough. It made the ache on your body go away, your headache, your dizziness, your weakness… Everything. And left you feeling hungry for more. More of her. Of her touch, of her quickened heartbeat.
Everything seemed too much. But even if it was, you craved more.
“Shit.” Ellie cursed when you grinded yourself down on her lap, making the grip that she had on your hips tighten.
You got away from her neck, blood dripping from the corners of your lips as you stared at her, tongue darting out to clean your bottom lip from the crimson. “Ellie…” you whimpered, smelling the arousal grow underneath her sweatpants. You were burning up.
“Fuck, doll.” her eyes were half-lidded, breath heavy and shaky and lips blushed due to her bitting down on her bottom. “What d’ you do to me?”
“I don’t know…” you whined, unable to stop your hips to rocking against hers, the brushing and jumping against your clit intensified, making your mind all fuzzy. It felt so good…
You looked so hot, with your red eyes and blood tinting your lips. You didn’t looked sick anymore, your hair shining and color blushing your cheeks. You looked as beautiful as the day she lost you. Even more, if that could be possible.
And she needed you so much you were driving her insane.
“You taste so good…” you groaned, going back to her neck, licking up the blood and kissing bruises on her skin, making her tilt her head backwards in a moan when you went back to drinking from her.
“You’re killing me.” she withered underneath you, her hands helping you to rock against her, feeling like if you stopped whatever you were doing she’d die, needing you to keep touching her, licking her neck, using her… She needed you to suck her dry.
“Fuck Ellie, I need you.” the two of you felt so turned on… Probably due to the blood, bite and the connection you already shared. It was as if you were two magnets, two puzzle pieces meant to fit together, meant to be stuck together for eternity.
You needed her to take you, to make you hers, to fuck you ‘till you’d lost your voice. Needed to taste her, to ride her. You wanted everything at the same time. Whimpers leaving your throat at the aching in between your legs, in your bones for her to touch you, to set you on fire with her burning touch.
Your skin grew in goosebumps when she harshly crashed her lips onto yours, the taste of her blood on your lips making her groan, hips jerking up as her hands slid underneath —her— your shirt, warm fingertips against your cold skin, exploring the body she so well knew already.
The kiss was messy, the clashing of your tongues and teeth making it feel primal, as if the only thing there were was the two of you, your sharp nails dug on the neck of her shirt, ripping it apart in a quick movement, teeth biting down on your bottom lip when your blood-shot eyes roamed through her bare chest, which raised with every quick and shaky breath. Her skin was like fire against your cold fingertips.
You shivered when her thumb pulled from your lip, letting it go from your fangs, eyes fixated on your mouth as her tongue dampened her own, begging for another taste. She moaned when your lips brushed her wrist, your hand keeping it in place as you leaned in and bit down on it.
“Shit.” she gasped, her pussy throbbing inside her pants when you moaned against her, ready to bust, arousal soaking her underwear. She swore she could just cum by the feeling of your teeth on her skin. She was on edge.
She looked so beautiful, with blood sliding and pooling on her collarbones and her tits, crimson swollen lips and green blown eyes shining under the moonlight that came through the window of your bedroom.
“You like that?” you teased her, licking the blood off her wrist with a smirk. You could feel just how wet she was, smell her arousal. It made you so wet. Wetter than you had ever been. And you craved her so much you felt like dying.
She groaned, as if she were in pain. “Don’t.”
Her head lolled backwards, your lips leaving blood stain marks on her chest and down her stomach as you lowered yourself and slid down her body, your fangs gracing her skin in playful yet teasing marks that weren’t hard enough to break the skin.
Her fingers laced on your hair when your lips latched to her hip bone, sucking a bruise on her skin, making her moan and buck her hips against your mouth when your tongue traced the print of her wetness from beneath her clothes. “Fuck, baby…”
You hummed, knowing exactly what she needed. What you needed. “Want your pussy, Ellie.” your hands were quick to push down her sweats and underwear, her soaked cunt showing, puffy clit and twitching entrance begging for attention.
Your mouth watered at the sight. The smell of her musk so strong it was driving you crazy. You needed her on your tongue. Needed her to fill your mouth in cum, fuck you stupid…
She let out a raspy moan when your tongue sticked out, tasting and wiping off the slick from her weeping folds, your heightened senses making you hum at the taste. You felt like you couldn’t get enough of it.
Her fingers tugged harder on your hair when your tongue kitten licked her swollen clit, making her tremble, the aphrodisiac effect of the bite making her the most sensitive she had ever been before. You kissed her lips, teeth gently brushing against the sensitive skin, making her moan.
You smirked, eyes meeting hers when you tongue made a long stripe from her clenching hole to her clit, fangs on display and blood on your lips. Her cunt now stained on her blood, what made her twitch. “Such a fucking tease…” she groaned, breath hitching when you suddenly sucked her clit in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks. “Fuck!” she almost came on the spot, your own moans vibrating around her, making her head roll backwards.
She looked so hot, your thighs clenched and pushed against each other, trying to find some friction, anything. The needy moans and whimpers that left your throat made the feeling of your mouth, warm against her, heavenly.
“So good…” she praised when you started to earnestly eat her out, your head moving up and down and side to side as you licked her, her hand guiding you, your nose burying in her pubic hair, making your head all fuzzy. You loved giving Ellie head, feeling her slick fill your mouth, loved it when she fucked your face with the purpose to please herself. You loved to be her little toy. “Yeah, just like that, fuck.” it all felt so intense for the both of you, like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. “Such a good little girl, letting me fuck your mouth how I want.” your nails dug in her thighs, making her groan. “I’m gonna cum, shit.” she mumbled, her mouth falling open as you sucked harder on her clit, the oversensivity being too much and pushing her straight to the edge. “Fuckfuckfuck!!!” hot stripes of cum filled your mouth as she thrusted against it one more time, keeping you still as she came, groaning in pleasure. And if she weren’t that turned on and needy, she would have been embarrassed by how hard and fast she had cummed, but that didn’t matter, ‘cause you were back on her lap in a blink of an eye.
She was still dripping and throbbing after her first orgasm, and the feeling of your damped panties —since you had gotten rid of the pajama pants she had lent you— against her stomach made her groan. “Ellie…” you whined, feeling yourself about to burst when you rocked your hips against her, your skin burning whenever your bodies made contact. “Touch me please…” you begged, moaning when one of her hands pushed your tee above your head to latch her lips to your chest and tits as the other sneaked inside your panties. “Fuck!” you screamed when you felt her fingertips slowly slide in between your lips, getting soaked by your arousal.
“Too much, baby?” she mocked you, teasing you just like you had, her teeth biting on your nipples as her middle finger played with your clit. “You’re so wet. Did drinking my blood turned you on this much? Or maybe it was having my pussy on your mouth? Did you miss my cum, hm?” you nodded, whimpering as you rocked your hips against her fingers, which now circled your twitching tight hole. “Of course you did.” she cooed, pouting at you and then smirking when your mouth fell open in a silent moan at the feeling of two of her fingers easily sliding in into your soaked cunt. “Look at you, taking my fingers so good…” you were moaning as she thrusted into you, slowly, driving you insane. “I bet I can make you cum with just two of ‘em.” she mumbled against your ear before nipping at your earlobe, picking up her pace. “Do you want it? Want to cum all over my fingers, hm?” you hummed, tilting your head to the side when she started to suck on your neck, the feeling of her lips burning your skin. “Mmh? What was that? Need you to speak louder for me, baby.” a moan left your lips when she curved her fingers, hitting that sweet spot on your gummy walls, the squelch of your juices only making her cunt wetter and your mind dizzier.
“Yes, yes, please Ellie.” you sobbed, hands gripping her shoulders, nails digging on her skin when her free hand surrounded your neck, adding pressure. “Need it. Need it so bad…” you were a mumbling mess, her thumb now pressing against your clit, the coil in your stomach only getting stronger. You felt like you couldn’t breath.
“Good girl.” her fingers now fucking you just like you needed it, faster, deeper, harder, your g spot being hit with every new thrust, what had your legs shaking and moans and whimpers spilling from your swollen lips. Your walls tightened around her digits at her praise, teetering the edge, jumping on her fingers to make them reach deeper inside you, driving you insane. “You gonna cum, baby?” she hummed, loving how desperate you seemed. How wet you were for her, how beautiful your tits bounced with every grind of your hips, how your half-lidded eyes looked at her, full of desire. “Go ahead beautiful, come for me. Cum on my fingers.”
She didn’t have to ask twice, just the sound of her voice making you come the hardest you’ve ever had before. Vision turning white and ears ringing as you gushed all over her fingers, her thumb circling your clit to help you extend and help you ride it out. “That’s it. Give it to me, sweetheart.” you gasped for air as you came down, entrance twitching when her cum covered fingers left you “Look at that…” and found their way to her mouth, licking them clean and tasting you with a hum. “You’re always so sweet for me.” you moaned, making her eyebrows raise. “What is it, baby? Want a taste?” she inquired, and you were quick to pull her in for a wet and needy kiss.
She could taste herself in your mouth and yourself in hers. The mix of both of you making you crave for more, tugging from her as you let yourself fell backwards, making her rest in between your legs, pussy pressed against your sensitive and recently fucked cunt, what made the two of you moan on each other’s mouth. “Shit.” she cursed when you harshly bit down on her lip, her blood mixing in the kiss as you sucked on it, her hips rocking against yours, pussy sliding up and down in between your puffy and soaked folds. “Fuck, doll.” she muttered when your lips latched onto the skin of her neck, humping yourself against her, moaning when your clits bumped against the other.
“Fuck Ellie, fuck me, please… I need you so bad…” you pleaded, sloppy open mouth kisses driving her insane, one of your hands sliding into her hair to tug.
“Fuck, you’re such a greedy slut… I gave you my fingers and yet here you are, begging for my pussy.” she muttered, the hand on your neck tightening as she pushed you against the sheets, pining you down and lifting one of your legs to straddle you. “Look at you, so desperate. Can’t get enough, huh? It’s almost embarrassing.” you whimpered, you could perfectly push her away with your new incredible strength but there was something in her dominance that made you even wetter.
The prey hunting the predator.
“If you want it so bad, why don’t you show me?“ you moaned when her lips sucked a new bruise on your chest, one of her hands reaching down to your clit. “Show me how much you want it. Fuck yourself on my pussy sweetheart.” she nipped on your neck, and in a quick movement you were on top of her, having changed positions in a blink of an eye. Her head fell backwards when you exasperatedly straddled her, lined her up with your soaking cunt and sat down on hers, whimpering at the feeling of her wetness. “Shit, baby.” she let out a breathy groan as your nails dug on her chest.
“E-Ellie...” you shakily breathed out, your whole body shivering at the feeling as you rolled your hips. You felt so… Alive.
“Fuck, that’s it, sweetheart. Fuck my pussy.” she grunted, the feeling of your soaked cunt against hers making it hard to hold off. She groaned when you sped up, desperately bouncing on her clit, using her to get yourself off. “So pretty jumping on my clit. How ’s it feel, hm?” she smirked when, when you felt her fingers brush away a lock of your hair from your face, you whimpered, eyes on her bloody wrist.
“So good…” you moaned, the smell of her blood making your hips stagger, the need to taste her once more making your skin grow in goosebumps.
“You hungry, baby?” she teased you, whispering, purposely letting the bite mark on her neck show, lingering right in front of your face.
You whimpered when just as you leaned in, fangs painful pushing against your gums ready to bite down on her neck, her hand gripped your neck once again, pushing you onto your back and taking one of your legs to fuck your cunt in earnest.
She was edging you. Starving you from her sweet blood.
“Ellie!” you screamed when when she harshly thrusted against your slick folds, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. You always had a hard time taking it like this, at his relentless and merciless pace, the feeling of her clit pushing hardly against yours. But yet, you found pleasure in the pain, in the primal of it all. The neediness in her eyes, the grunts that fell from her lips.
“Yeah, just like that. Fucking take it.” she moaned, her thrusts being so hard the headboard of the bed banged against the wall, probably leaving dents. “Shit, so good.” she slurred, relishing on the babbling mess that you were underneath him. “You like that? Like my pussy, sweetheart?“ she smirked, pushing two of her fingers inside your mouth, making you choke on them, drool spilling down your chin before she’d duck down to kiss you, licking it from your lips.
The sight of your naked body underneath her, the way your tits bounced, the mess of your hair, the tears that started to pool on your eyes… It all only made her pound against you harder, feeling like it could never be enough of the feeling of your cunt against hers, making her grunt.
“Ellie, shit, har—ah—harder!” you begged, your sharp and pointy nails drawing blood from her arms and hips, making her moan.
“Harder?” he inquired, making you shakily nod, lost in your own pleasure. “Like this?” she relished on your high pitched scream when both his hands reached down to grip your hips to start pulling you harder against her clit with every new pound, making your back arch against the mattress with every thrust, your sensitive and throbbing clit being abused over and over again due to the new angle. Your moans only got louder, your voice strained and words being all slurred.
Your voice broke, feeling yourself getting closer to coming for the second time in less than 15 minutes, head lolling to the side. “I’m gon—na, gonna cum!” you somehow managed to babble out, in need of reaching your high.
“You gonna cum?” she smirked, making you moan as she focused on pounding you just how she knew you loved the most. “Gonna cum on my pussy?” you hardly nodded, muttering a string of messy ‘yes’s. “Look at you, so pussy drunk you can’t even talk.” she chuckled, feeling your walls tighten. “Go ahead baby, cum all over my pussy. Want to see that beautiful face of yours fall apart.” one, two, three thrusts more and you were dissolving under her touch, moans slipping from your lips as well as her name as you gushed all over her cunt, your orgasm tearing you apart. “Fuck, that’s it. Shit. ” she muttered, flopping on top of you to continue her relentless thrusts, making you sob due to the overstimulation. “I’m gonna cum. Gonna fill this greedy pussy of yours so full your tummy will swell up.” you cried out at her words, pulling her closer. “Fuck, bite me…” she begged, precum leaking more and more as he neared the edge. “Bite me, baby, please…” she didn’t have to plead for it, your lips quickly latching to her neck before your teeth sunk into her flesh, fresh blood filling your mouth, what worked the two of you closer to your respective highs. “Shit, I’m cumming!” and with that she came on your cunt, painting your clit and slick folds of the purest white, the feeling making you reach your third orgasm in a row, making your thighs shake and your stomach turn. You whimpered on her neck, her blood spilling and painting your chest and tits.
She continued to thrust against you to help the two of you ride your orgasms as she leaned down and latched to your chest, tongue darting out to lick her own blood out of you skin, what made you cry out.
As you came down from your respective highs, the two of you stayed like that for a couple of minutes, trying to calm yourselves down from the mind-blowing and best sex you had ever have in your lives. You shivered when she pulled away, your combined warm loads dribbling from your folds and onto the mattress, her blown out eyes taking the sight of your shaky legs and twitching entrance with a starving gaze. “Shit baby, you did so good for me.” she muttered, biting down on her bottom lip.“Fuck, look at that…” she sighed and a whine left your lips when two of her fingers pushed it all inside, slowly pumping her cum in and out of you with a squelch.
“Ellie!” you tried and push her away, your hands grabbing at her wrists. But soon enough you were a moaning mess, rocking your hips against her fingers, giving in, the overstimulation moving from pain to pleasure. She only smirked, lowering herself ‘till her lips were only inches away from your neck, making you shiver, the contact making your skin grow in goosebumps.
She chuckled at your reaction, her blood staining her white teeth and lips in a malicious smile.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart… I don’t bite.”
-
@fleshunger 💋🧛‍♀️
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sunshine-zenith · 10 months
Text
A thought — Ballister and Ambrosius’s relationship probably wasn’t public in the movie until the end. They probably weren’t secretive about it, given how Todd (someone neither of them like or would confide in) was clearly antagonistic to Ambrosius after Ballister’s jailbreak, but even then that just might be because their connection was well known — they liked each other more than any of the knights liked them, most being neutral overall to Ambrosius and outright bullies to Ballister. No one in the public seems to know about them
Media perception is a reoccurring factor in the movie, with the opening scene giving exposition in the form of a news cast. During it, Ballister is shown to be controversial, with a there being a few comments questioning the Queen’s choices related to him. Ambrosius is also brought up as someone everyone’s looking forward to seeing officially knighted, with no one questioning his relationship with Ballister or even bringing it up
While everyone is fearing and hating Ballister after the Queen dies, Ambrosius is still popular among the masses — people stop him in the streets to get his autograph. Nimona, who admittedly probably didn’t do much digging into Ballister beyond the initial news reports on the Queen’s deaths, seemed surprised that Ballister and Ambrosius had a connection. She even had an “ohhhhhh” moment after picking up on their vibe the first time they saw each other post-arm chop (and yeah she initially calls Ambrosius Ballister’s nemesis, but she clearly clocks that something romantic was going on given the “arm chopping is not a love language!” comment). She also asks if he wants to die in a (literal) closet, which like. Y’all.
Before the Queen’s death, all their PDA is in private (on the catwalk) or subtly around other knights (helping each other put on their armor with lots of heart eyes and lingering hands). Otherwise, their interactions are those of Two People Who Are Close but aren’t necessarily explicitly romantic (Ambrosius wanting to throw hands on Ballister’s behalf, teasing each other, Ambrosius cheering with the crowd). Granted, there wasn’t a lot of screen time for them to just be happy before Everything Went Wrong.
We can’t really judge whether they were private from their interactions after the Queen’s death, since most are focused on a “so this traumatic thing happened and I don’t know where we stands right now” vibe or have them just fighting. The three times Ambrosius says he loves Ballister, one was just the two of them on the catwalk, one was in a mental rant and not actually out loud, and one was while they were trying to hide their identities. Ballister continues to defend Ambrosius, saying he’d believe them if they could just talk and that the arm thing is just “complicated,” “part of their training, up until Ambrosius outright tries to arrest them (which might as well be a breakup without saying “we’re breaking up”).
In the comic, the Director says she knew about their relationship and that she disapproved. Given how much she manipulates things, it wouldn’t surprise me if she knew in the movie, and encouraged them to downplay things at least — “you should keep your private lives private so you don’t taint your public images/yes we support you, obviously, but you’re here to protect the people, not show off to them/you don’t want to overshadow things with more controversy, wait a few years until after you’re knighted/what if this is just a phase, it would be a mess to clean up if you go public now/people will talk if they hear Gloreth’s only current descendant, a promising young man, is being courted by someone they aren’t certain about who comes from nothing and can’t pass your genes on/you have each other, shouldn’t that be enough?/etc.”
We don’t see them be in a relationship publicly until after the wall — the symbol of fear of the unknown, systematic abuse and oppression, refusal to learn and grow, and let’s be real homophobia/transphobia — comes down and the Director — the one going to murderous extremes out of fear of change — is dead
I dunno. This movie is a large celebration of being queer, but it’s also about how queer people are demonized by society to the point of everyone suffering. Ambrosius is the model minority everyone loves but no one knows because all eyes are on him; Ballister is both tokenized and targeted from the moment the public meets him, having to prove himself over and over until the public unquestionably turns on him entirely; and Nimona is called a monster for just being herself. All three already had to hide who they really were. I’m not 100% sure if Ballister and Ambrosius were out or not about being together, but it’s not a stretch to see, and it fits in with the themes/arcs of this movie
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astonmartinii · 10 months
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hi!! i dont know if you're still taking requests but if you are, can you please do a max verstappen smau with fem reader, where reader is a huge max fan and they like end up together in the end. i love all of your work and i've probably reread most of your work!! your doing great and i hope you have a good day 🫶
worlds biggest fan | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x reader
y/n is the president of the official max verstappen fan club, but nothing can come of that, right?
(this'll probably just be part one so let me know if you want a part two)
maxverstappenarchive
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liked by maxverstappen1, victoriaverstappen and 31,239 others
maxverstappenarchive: max took the win at monza this weekend after a late safety car. the dutchman once again showed he’s a mentality king ignoring all the boos from the tifosi. they hate what they can’t have.
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user1: max verstappen the man you are
maxverstappen1: 🧡
maxverstappenarchive: super max 🏆
yourusername: jealousy is a disease get well soon xoxo
user2: i love how she comments like we don’t know she runs this account
user3: SHES THE ADMIN???
user4: i personally love when maxverstappenarchive gets sassy with it like the caption didn’t have to serve so hard
yourusername: someone has to defend him and it’s got to the point i no longer need to argue with people over the internet i need a GUN
liked by maxverstappen1
user5: we can see you by the way max
yourusername
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liked by victoriaverstappen, maxverstappen1 and 3,429 others
yourusername: the library knows my face way more than it should :(
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user6: she’s almost too cool to be the literal president of the max verstappen fan club
user7: no i need her to be this cool cause it makes us 10% cooler by association
user8: she single-handedly covers us from the embarrassment from the middle aged drunk men in the orange army
user9: she’s so chill about the fact that victoria and max are just constantly in her likes
yourbff1: i can assure you she is not chill about it
yourbff2: like at all
yourbff1: wow i wonder who takes these lovely pictures of you at the library and conveniently only takes them when you’re not having a meltdown
yourusername: i love yewwwww xxx
yourbff1: you can repay me when you become a wag
yourusername: PLS don’t say that i shan’t abuse my position as president
yourbff1: shame
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f1
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tagged: maxverstappen1, georgerussell63
f1: it all got a little much in the baku sprint race as george russell made contact with max verstappen on the opening lap giving the red bull damage for the entire race. the two came to blows in parc ferme with verstappen sending a number of expletives russell’s way. what do you think?
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user15: is mad max back?
user16: he never left he’s always been a big whiny baby, lewis would never
user17: no need to call russell a dickhead, crashtappen can’t handle someone actually racing him for once - just like his dad
maxverstappenarchive: max has never been a “whiny baby”, he may have been a little hot-headed and someone who always spoke his mind but he could never be categorised as a whiny baby. if you have such a problem with drivers calling other drivers dickheads then you should take it up with hamilton who did the exact same a few seasons ago. you simply have a problem with max’s success which is a you problem and there is no reasonable reason for you to bring jos verstappen into this argument, it immediately invalidates your argument.
user18: period oh my
user19: she spilt so hard here
user20: ignoring whatever domestic just happened in this comment section to say that i don’t care who is in the right - i just live for the drama
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f1wagsandtea
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f1wagsandtea: meet y/n y/ln, the president of the max verstappen fan club. she’s a student at UCL studying english literature and french and unapologetically defends max at all times. however people have been taking notice of how she’s never actually been to a race and how max has been subtlety liking comments about their relationship potential. what do you think about y/n and max?
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user23: kinda creepy that she literally runs his fan club but also it’s kinda cute idk i’m having a crisis over this
user24: i need this not to happen cause i’ll become so delusional and think i can pull charles
yourusername: some people are broke i’m working to go to a race but unfortunately i need food and a place to live first
user25: speaking for the broke queens i love you
maxverstappen1: it’s a bit too late to sort tickets for this weekend, but i can do dinner next week?
yourusername: time and address and im there
user26: bro the dms are there for a reason
maxverstappen1: noted
user27: why did you say that i wanted to witness max verstappens rizz :(
yourbff1: i usually hate these accounts cause y’all too nosey for your own good, but you got my bestie a date with her dream man so you get a pass just this once
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yourusername
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yourusername: slow weekend
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user30: she's playing it too cool i'd be a literal puddle on the floor rn
yourbff1: rest assured that she's been screaming about it for at least the last three days
maxverstappen1: 🧡
yourusername: amazing race maxy 🦁
user31: she's so cool but also CAT
user32: my spidey senses are picking up cat play dates with jimmy, sassy and ... the orange one yourusername: his name is moose user32: not what i was expecting but seems fitting user33: was half-expecting his name to be max maxverstappen1: me too yourusername: guys i'm not that bad yourbff2: her old goldfish was named max yourusername: STOP EMBARRASSING ME
maxverstappenarchive
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 47,831 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
maxverstappenarchive: max won the belgian grand prix to take his win tally to 35 career wins! congratulations max 🧡
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user34: so like when is he legit going to be in the goat conversation?
user35: genuinely this dominance is so so impressive
maxverstappen1: see you in a couple days 🧡
user36: leave the flirting to the personal accounts verstappen yourusername: i'm so excited you wouldn't believe
redbullracing: in max we trust
maxverstappenarchive: generational talent
user37: i know they won't but can someone livestream this date cause i wanna watch maxverstappenarchive lose her literal mind
yourusername: no mind will be lost i am a grown woman yourbff1: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yourusername added to their story
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[caption: hot summer nights, mid july]
maxverstappen1 added to their story
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[caption: no one tell brad]
note: i nearly got to the photo limit so i'm gonna leave this here but i have a lot of ideas for this scenario so let me know if yall want a second part !! also hope this actually fulfilled the original request ??
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dark-fics-4-you · 4 months
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possible rafe request?! rafes gf makes him mad by being too friendly at an event w wards business partners so he fucks her at the event 😈
Golden Boy
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Warnings: domestic violence, noncon, toxic relationship, jealousy,
You chuckled politely, trying not to glare at the thirty-something year old man in front of you. Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t help but put a little venom in your reply, “Well, I actually do have plans outside of my boyfriend. I’m going to college right now, and I’m actually in a paid internship that I got before Rafe and I met.”
The somewhat handsome, but definitely too old to be your type, business partner, whose name you had already forgotten, gave you an annoyed look, not expecting you to respond that way to his poorly hidden dig at you not belonging at this event.
It was true, in some ways. You were far from your side of the island, and no matter how much time you put into your make up and hair or the price tags of the many expensive clothes Rafe had bought you, the Kooks could always sniff out the people who grew up with nothing.
Before he could respond though, you heard your name being called from behind. Peering past the man in front of you, you could see your boyfriend waving at you to come over to him.
You didn’t even bother telling the asshole in front of you that you were exiting the conversation, you just did, quickly returning to Rafe’s side.
“Ugh perfect timing, that guy I was just talking to was a total jerk,” you whispered in his ear as you gave him a hug.
“Baby, didn’t I tell you to try to get along with these guys?” He seemed angry and you could tell that this event was already stressing him out a lot. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides and everything about him was somewhat jittery, like he wasn’t in his right mind.
“I mean, you know I need to look good in front of them while my Dad’s watching. It means a lot to him.” You looked into his eyes at his words and noticed two things. One, Rafe said it meant a lot to his dad, but you knew it was more about how how much it meant to him. And two, his pupils were much wider than they should have been.
Rafe had obviously done some coke before tonight, trying to calm his nerves and give him some confidence, but it was only doing the opposite.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to make you look bad, but I don’t think it’s fair that I can’t defend myself in front of the people here who are looking down on me.” You shot back at him, annoyed for more reasons than one. “I’m being polite to them, but it would probably be easier for me if you were by my side to stop them from being so rude to me.”
You lowered your voice before speaking again, “And also… I don’t think you should be doing so much coke right now.”
Rafe’s burning glare alone was enough to make you regret saying anything, the return of his tight grip on your arm was just a sick formality at this point, reminding you of the previous bruise he had left in that same spot that you had to cover with makeup for this event.
After being with your boyfriend for so long, you knew the lengths he would go to when he felt personally wronged.
You learned very early on that Rafe was never one to hold back on his verbal abuse, and his physical abuse was no different, although he always tried to keep both incredibly private due to the damage that could come to the Cameron name if it ever came out that Ward’s son, the golden boy, was hitting his girlfriend.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, Rafe. I just care for you, that’s all. I promise I’ll be polite to your dad’s friends.” Your meager apology seemed to be good enough for the moment, and your boyfriend gave you a silent nod after staring at you for several unnerving seconds.
“Be polite, don’t share your opinion, and just keep your mouth shut for the most part. Let them talk about themselves, and they’ll probably think it was the best conversation they’ve had all day.” Rafe grumbled, but his mood improved when he tilted your head up, pressing his lips to yours, large hand still resting under your chin. You kissed him back for what you thought was an appropriate amount of time, but when you tried to pull away, he held you in place, tightly wrapping an arm around your waist and forcing you to kiss him back.
By the time he released you, you pulled away to see several people staring at the two of you, and you felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.
Rafe was always doing things like that in public when he felt like other men were threatening your relationship, he always needed to prove himself and stake his claim on you. Let everyone there know that you belonged to him.
“Remember what I said sweetheart. Just try to act like you belong here.” He smirked at his obvious jab at the very thing you felt the most self conscious about right now, before he calmly turned heel, approaching another group of stuffy, rich assholes across the large room.
Your huff of frustration must have been loud enough to be heard by someone standing near you, and you nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt a tap on your shoulder.
To your surprise, when you turned around you were greeted by a man who looked to be about your age.
“You’re Y/N, right?” He held out his hand, which you grabbed, giving him a firm handshake, just like Rafe had taught you.
“Yes I am, although I’m not quite sure if we have met before?” You lightheartedly responded.
“Ah, my apologies, you haven’t, I’m James, I work with your boyfriend at Cameron Development. He’s honestly a blast,” the man, James apparently, chuckled as he recalled several stories of work assignments with Rafe. This led to the two of you exchanging several funny work and college tales.
Despite never having met James before, you felt an instant chemistry with him, nothing romantic at all, of course, but you found him very easy to talk to, and to your surprise, after glancing at your watch, you realized that the two of you had been chatting for nearly 25 minutes!
At this realization, your blood instantly ran cold. Where was Rafe? Why hadn’t he checked on you? Had he seen you talking to the same guy for nearly half an hour, clearly enjoying yourself the entire conversation?
As if he could tell that you were thinking of him, Rafe suddenly appeared several yards away from where your conversation with James was taking place. There was a scowl on his face, and you could tell by the way he was advancing on you that he was pissed.
“Hey, Y/N, why don’t I give you my number, just so you have it?” James innocently asked, completely unaware of the anxiety coursing through your veins and the fact that your boyfriend was in earshot, pushing through the small crowd behind him to reach you.
Before you could even open your mouth to politely decline, Rafe was speaking for you, “She’s not interested.”
You didn’t have time to say goodbye, because your boyfriend was dragging you away from your new friend, his grip harshly digging in to your bruised arm.
“What the fuck did I tell you, Y/N?” His voice was even and calculated, but he couldn’t hide the rage simmering beneath the surface.
“You told me to-”
“I told you to get along with them, not to try to get into their pants.” Rafe growled, pushing you into the closest room with a door he could find, which happened to be Ward’s office. You landed on the carpeted floor, wincing in pain when your elbow absorbed most of the fall.
“Rafe, I promise, I was just having a good conversation.” Your voice was beginning to waver, the weight of the situation that you had found yourself in was beginning to sink in. “He’s your coworker, is it so wrong that I talked to him?”
“Stop lying! I know what I saw! You would have to be an idiot to not realize that he’s trying to fuck you too.” You would have been worried that someone could hear your boyfriend berating you, had it not been for the music playing throughout the house, and the thick walls of Ward’s study.
You realized how sad it was that you only knew that because Rafe had now loudly hurled insults at you in every room in the house he could at this point.
The blond stalked towards you, grabbing you by the wrist and yanking you upright. “I mean, did you seriously think I wouldn’t notice? You think that little of me, Y/N?”
“Rafe no, I-”
You felt the air in your lungs disappear as your head snapped to the side, a sharp pain in your cheek blossoming across the now reddened skin.
“You don’t get to talk back to me right now!” Your boyfriend yelled in your face. You had barely processed his slap when you felt him moving you again, although now you felt much more numb.
Numb to Rafe roughly manhandling you before he bent you over his father’s desk, numb to the feeling of the cold, hard wood on your face as Rafe held you down, numb to the feeling of him pushing your fancy dress up and rudely yanking down your panties before harshly pushing two fingers inside you, and numb to the tears that were now spilling onto Ward’s desk.
“Such a fucking slut! You’re soaked,” he darkly chuckled, but there was no hint of humor in his voice. “Is this all for me, or is it for James?” He bitterly wondered aloud, and when you didn’t give him a response fast enough, you cried out at the feeling of him smacking your ass.
“F-for you, Rafe,” you choked out through your tears.
You could hear him removing his belt, the sound of it hitting the floor was enough to trigger your body to begin quaking with fear and anxiety.
“Aw baby,” he cooed, and you flinched when you felt his fingers in your hair, lightly brushing some of it out of your eyes so he could look at you. “Don’t act so scared. I promise I’m not going to hurt you. Well, at least, not until after the party’s over.”
His laughter made you feel sick, but even worse was the shock you felt when Rafe spread your pussy and sheathed himself inside of you without warning.
You saw stars for a few moments, the surprise catching you off guard and he was able to slide deeper into your tight walls.
“Rafe!” You gasped, unable to fight back, as your arms were pinned beneath you, and your boyfriend’s large chest prevented you from moving.
His fingers tangled into your hair, gripping a handful tightly as he pushed your face into the desk. His hips were snapping against your ass, fucking you harder whenever you futilely tried to break from his hold.
Every time you tried to escape mentally, to tear yourself from the reality of what your boyfriend was doing to you, he brought you back, snapping his fingers or groaning your name into your ear as he forced himself deeper into your wet cunt.
You were sure that your hips would be bruised from bumping into Ward’s desk as Rafe fucked you against your will. Another reminder of all the lessons he insisted that he had to teach you by force.
Every sharp thrust was a warning that this was him holding back. This was him being nice. And you knew better than to further aggravate Rafe when he was on a power trip.
And that was exactly what this was all about. The power and privilege that Rafe held over you, that he used to hurt you time and time again, without ever facing any real consequences. This was about reminding you that you belonged to him and at the end of the day, Rafe Cameron was untouchable and unstoppable, the Kook King, the golden boy of one of the richest families in the Outer Banks.
“You are my girlfriend, Y/N,” Rafe growled. “It’s time you started fucking acting like it.”
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miley1442111 · 2 months
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thank god for dr. spencer reid
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a/n: this was written with a fem!reader in mind but imagine what you want, reader has a period (same girl) :) spencer us such a cutie in this :)))))))
summary: your shitty family is in town and spencer is away, what will you do?
pairing: spencerreid x reader
warnings: heavy family issues, mentions of stress and sickness, very brief mention of abuse (litch not talked about just referenced dw), kinda cursing (just realised i've never warned this before... opps) and i might've missed some!
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My eyes are glued to the screen with a perpetual frown playing on my lips. It’s hard to try to care about my job when I have this looming feeling of dread hanging over me like a cloud. Spencer has been MIA for days now. He left in a hurry on Monday night for a case. It’s Saturday now and he hasn’t been responding to my calls. On top of that, I have dinner with my mother and father. Both of them make it abundantly clear that they’re disappointed in my career choice, which is ridiculous because I’m a lawyer. Not the right kind of lawyer they constantly say. I’m an environmental lawyer and I make good money. The only way to satiate their insufferable whining is with Spencer. They love him. They probably love him more than me at this point. Alas, I will just have to deal with them alone tonight. And today has already been one hell of a day. First, Morgan called me,asking where Spencer was, telling me that they finished and that they should be home soon. He had not come home yet. Secondly, I feel like shit, an allergic reaction, my period and some random nausea all add up to making me feel itchy, gross, and practically vile all over. Thirdly, a huge pimple has decided to pop up on my face and  just know my mother will comment on it. My mother is one of those women who look effortlessly put-together 24/7. I am not one of those women. She does not like women who don’t look effortlessly put together. Aka, she barely tolerates me. 
I sigh and close my laptop screen, unable to reread the same few sentences again and again, hoping that they would get into my brain. I’m defending a client, one of my firm's biggest clients, in court next week. They were accused of illegal dumping (dumping they did not commit) and now they’re being sued for 2 million dollars. I slump out of my desk chair and out of my home office, locking it behind me for the weekend ahead. If I have court next week and Spencer is coming home after a difficult case, then we’ll need a day or rest and relaxation together. That is, if he even bothers to come home. I busy myself with getting ready and try to push those thoughts out of my head. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The last hour of my life has been 60 minutes of absolute misery. Why did I ever accept this invite? My mother excuses herself to the bathroom and my father excuses himself for a cigarette, I nod along. Then it hits me… my dad doesn’t smoke anymore. I stare at the door and before I can stop myself my face contorts into a frown once again. Amelia, my sister. The sister that I haven't seen in years. The sister that bullied and abused me throughout our teenage years. Fuck. 
“Amelia?” I question, looking at the blonde woman who looks… different. She’s obviously older than I remember, and a bit more… I don’t know how to put it. Her blonde hair surpasses her waist and she seems to be pregnant? Her blue eyes seem dull and lack a certain vividness they used to sparkle with. She’s the typical peaking in high-school mean girl who became a nurse girl. I honestly can’t believe I used to look up to her. 
“It’s so good to see you!” She smiles, one of her fake-bitchy smiles and I grimace as she tries to hug me. “I just wanted to know how you’re doing, especially with the baby on the way, I’ll need all the help I can get!”
My heart drops. “Oh!” Is all I can manage. She sits in the seat beside me and I instinctively move further away. Just as I think this stupid dinner can’t get any worse, her pervy fiancé, Johnny, walks in.
“No Spencer?” He smirks. “What? Did you two break up? He was always too vanilla for you, you need a real man-” 
“No, sorry. I was just late. I had to come straight from the jet,” Spencer smiles from behind him. My parents' eyes light up, as Amelia and Johnny’s faces fall. I smile appreciatively at him as he hands the flowers he brought over to my parents and sits beside me, a comforting hand on my thigh. 
“How’s work, Spencer?” My father asks, his undivided attention on Spencer.
“It’s good, strenuous but good. Our cases recently haven’t been too difficult- though there was one that had a puzzle I thought you might enjoy…”
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walk inside our house behind him, a million thoughts at once flowing through my head. We walk to the kitchen, he sits me down and takes off my shoes for me, a true gentleman. 
He presses a kiss to my cheek and smiles. “You look beautiful.”
I just nod back, a small smile on my lips. 
“Is everything alright?” He asks, turning to me, his hands resting on my waist. 
“Fine,” I tiredly smile. “Just… you know, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
“You know, saying that makes me worry more, right?:” He smiles softly, though we both know he’s serious. 
“I just… I can’t believe she just showed up, like 7 years  of not seeing her and she just shows up? Like it’s casual? And then asks for our help with her baby? Like she did nothing to me? Like she-” I stop myself, determined not to cry right now. 
“Angel, it’s ok, let it out,” he soothes, a hand on my back, rubbing comforting circles. 
“I don’t want to cry though, they’re not worth crying over.”
“Then how about we get ready for bed, yeah angel?” He offers, a tired look in his eyes. I nod and press a soft to his perfect lips. He smiles against my mouth, his hands finding the sides of my face. I run a hand through his hair. He pulls away softly, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I smile. “Thank you for coming, my knight in shining armour.” 
“I enjoyed it. Watching your father fail to solve a simple puzzle was amusing.” He smirks, a mischievous glint in his eye as I roll my eyes. 
“We’re not all geniuses,” I remind him. 
“You are.”
“And how am I a genius?” I chuckle.
“You’re dating me, you clearly have superior taste and intelligence,” he says matter-of-factly. I gigle at his antics and kiss him again. He pulls away and grabs my hand, leading me into our room. We both opt out of brushing our teeth and washing our faces, a makeup wipe sufficing for removing my makeup. He pulls me into bed with him, and finally, after a long week, I finally lie down in bed with him, his arms around me in a bear-hug of sorts. This is heaven. He’s my knight in shining armour. Thank God for Dr. Spencer Reid. 
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muchtooold2 · 3 months
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I’ve recently discovered the part of the internet deeply devoted to defending Mystra in BG3 and I get she’s a long standing lore character but it feels like we played a wildly different game.
And I just know in my heart of hearts that if Mystra were male and Gale were female I wouldn’t have to keep reading some variation of “well it’s fine she did nothing to stabilize a ticking time bomb in the chest that would have wiped out an entire city because it needs to feed on the weave despite no real evidence this actually hurts her at all” or “actually it’s Gale’s fault he tried to return what he thought was part of her to her because he was an grown adult who should have known better despite the fact she did not tell him and he did not know it would have hurt her and is horrified to learn this in act 3.” Like, this isn’t me woobifying him. I love Gale and know he can be self-absorbed, his ego is big, and if left unchecked his personality leads him to become the literal God of Ambition. But he’s not like a power hungry schemer. His ambition and desire for knowledge (things Mystra likes!) got the better of him and since he is also insecure he decided to try to do an ambitious thing and prove himself to a goddess. He knows and admits that’s on him! But he (and players) are still allowed to be mad at the fact he’s kicked to the curb to maybe blow up a city to learn a lesson Mystra does not bother explaining until she’s literally forced to because he did not kill himself on her command. And people are allowed to find their relationship wildly inappropriate and toxic and abusive because based on the game you play, it is.
I don’t think it’s bonkers to say that in this situation, Mystra—a literal goddess who met Gale when he was probably somewhere between 17-22 years old—was wrong to have a relationship with him, that it was a toxic and abusive one and that is on her as the entity with more power in every way, that she was petty for letting him languish for a year and being willing to potentially let him kill a whole city while he was trying not to die by eating magic shoes, and that telling him to kill himself is a dick move. And people are like “well according to DnD lore she’s just protecting herself and she was only resurrected after he was a teen” are doubly annoying because bg3 doesn’t give a shit about the canon timeline considering Durge would be like…10 if they cared.
And I know it sucks if you like love Mystra in DnD lore and this doesn’t align with her or whatever but bg3’s themes of “hurt people hurt people” and “power over others is something easily abused if you’re careless” also applies to Mystra. With the sort of exception of Selûne, the game also feels pretty clear on the idea that gods Do Not and Cannot Care About You. The game you play is showing a toxic relationship (and I will say she is not as bad as some people say she is, like she is a goddess operating with some blue-orange morality) and if the genders were flipped we would not be having this discourse.
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seriousbrat · 3 days
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Hi ! I don’t understand why people say Severus was bullied , I don’t think he was because there wasn’t a power imbalance between him and James, and he defended himself didn’t he? He created Sectumsempra for his enemies *aka The Marauders* so he doesn’t look like a victim to me😅! What do you think?
Did we read the same book? haha. Joking aside, I think there are some serious misunderstandings here about bullying. Sev was definitely bullied by James and Sirius. That's just objectively and undeniably true.
First of all, I know I've talked about this recently but there was absolutely a power imbalance between James and Severus. I think you're taking 'power imbalance' to mean 'difference in skill level' perhaps but that isn't what it means necessarily. The power imbalance between them is social. James was a very popular student, Severus was very unpopular. James came from wealth, Sev came from a poor working-class family. James was pureblood, Sev was halfblood. I think the first of these differences is probably the most relevant, but all of them are at play in the dynamic.
Sometimes 'power imbalances' in situations of abuse or mistreatment aren't as clear cut as you'd think. It might be as simple as who's stronger physically, or it might just be about who is more afraid of the other or who has more emotional influence over the other rather than such clearly defined social differences. In the case of James and Severus, however, it's pretty obvious.
Victims of bullying often defend themselves. That's extremely normal, and it's pretty much victim blaming to suggest that a victim is no longer a victim if they can or do defend themselves. Similarly, victims can do bad stuff themselves, and still be victims. Victims are rarely, if ever, "perfect" in the way they respond to abuse or bullying (or in general), and the expectation that they have to be in order to be considered victims contributes to "the myth of the perfect victim", which I encourage you to read further about! Victims often don't "look like" victims when socially we expect them to be meek and harmless and well-behaved. Few people are truly meek and harmless and well-behaved 100% of the time, especially when subject to abuse, bullying, or mistreatment.
Sectumsempra was a horrible spell but that literally doesn't change the fact that Snape was a victim of bullying. Even Snape being a bully years later to Harry and Neville doesn't change the fact that he was once bullied.
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innerangeltoadlover · 1 month
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IDEOLOGY : LIFE IN SCHIZOPHRENIA
1. I was inspired to write this because I believe a diagnosis of schizophrenia silences those who suffer from the illness. I wrongly believed after my sister took me to Court in an effort to make me homeless that I would never have to fight for my truth to be heard again. Poor outcomes for patients are linked to expedient treatments - ones which may ignore salient indicators of abuse in order to place mental illness as the cause of behaviour and the only valid truth. There is probably nothing more demeaning and disheartening than telling your therapist about abuse and having it received as a fairytale. My story will show the consequences of skepticism and disbelief in the treatment of schizophrenia which allows for the generalisation of experiences without differentiation. We are better than this.
Sometimes , well often, when we read a memoir there’s an assumption that the person writing has overcome some insurmountable hardship. It motivates us to think that we can do the same – and at some point we , like the author, will walk into the sunset with clarity, humour and perhaps in hand with another. These are the kinds of books I usually stop reading after the first chapter because life , and in particular my life, has not been like this. I want to write about the ugly side of mental illness and the reason why there are so many of us who exist without that longed for happy ending. For those of us who don’t crawl out of the mire our lives are not improved by the application of lipstick or the urging of those who have. Despite our travels through a social media polluted with inspiring memes and motivational scenarios real hardship is present and remains unchanged despite its synonymous pairing with choice.
So my story isn’t going to be particularly uplifting -there has been no victory here – I write because I have to – not because I want to. I’m hoping in writing that I might gain some internal peace over the war my mind wages with me, particularly at night when the lack of distraction makes sleep elusive. I think publishing is a bit of a minefield for people like me. I’m wary of writing anything that resembles some clueless manifesto but at the same time I think it’s important for people with this illness to write something real that isn’t Instagramable and also at nearly 60 I’ve come to view my illness as a valid part of my individuality and I wish to defend it rather than have this unique part of me trampled into submission by doctors who view me like a bacteria in a Petri dish. The truth is this illness is crap but the treatment is crappier and you are trapped in it , well I have been anyway. However the older I get the more I’ve realised that much of the prejudice and stigma linked to this illness has much of its origins in treatment. I used to have a social conscience and was concerned about the plight of my fellow sufferers but it has been chipped away. When my Shrink tells me of advances in care it sort of hangs in the air like a fog in a windowless room. These days I say very little when these professionals say this nonsense which I’ve heard so many times– I’m nearly old but I was young once and I wasn’t born in the Dark Ages- I was hopeful , though that hope has disintegrated. The old mantra “you can’t reason with a schizophrenic” is alive and well in most psychiatrists offices however it is often only the benefit of hindsight that allows us to see the stark relief against the empty rhetoric. It also painfully exhibits that in my case my treatment was inhibited by doctors who could not tell fact from fiction and who had ultimately decided that some lives are worth more than others.
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comfortless · 2 months
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what's ur most unconventional Headcanon? like ones you have that most of the fandom doesn't agree with. mine is that I don't think h's 6'10, in my mind he's closer to 6'6 or 6'7. Also I don't think he would be the most caring bf 😶😶 like not abusive or anything, but to me he will almost always prioritize himself in the long run
HA… well….. i do not think any of mine are too strange! but i can not ever shush when someone has lent an ear to listen!!
warning for nsfw content, mentions of injury, and unhealthy relationship stuff below the cut.
i agree with you about his height. he’s significantly taller than Simon, but i would place him at 6’7”-6’8” max. i’m no health or military expert, but i do not think that he could do the work that he does efficiently if he were a complete Goliath. he would stand out so easily! and there are a slew of issues that can stem from someone being “too tall”. he probably doesn’t have the best posture, either.
i love the conventionally attractive, long-haired König headcanons, they’re fun! but ultimately… very, very unrealistic for my interpretation of König. i tend to side with Salome and Ghost when it comes to their takes on how he actually looks under the hood. his character description suggests that his face is scary, and judging by the game that he’s in, i do not think that the other operators are going to find some goth guy nor… Jim Boeven… to be worthy of such a rumor!
König’s face is always going to be a fluctuating thing for me, heavily dependent on the setting/time period i’m shoving him into or reading about. the thing that’s stuck with me however has always been facial scarring!! where he got it? who knows… i mentioned it on my headcanons post, but the cause is just as changing as his appearance.
i like the thought of him being a little different looking: crooked teeth, pockmarks, maybe a harelip or a broken nose, burn scars, something. maybe his hair is so light it simply looks as if he doesn’t have eyebrows. maybe a combination of all of those things! the less conventionally attractive the better, it’s not his face that had us scrambling from the rafters with our hearts in our hands, after all. though i am and always will be a glitched default face model König defender. it’s just so unbearably adorable to think of that soft, sad-eyed face making that much noise while he’s rushing around in battle. ):
and though i believe he would have the best intentions at heart… you are right, he is likely a very selfish lover. still hopelessly devoted and needy, but he would be the king of double standards. most decisions are made with his preferences in mind, and the bullying has stuck with him. König is insecure as hell when it comes to anything but his skills in killing or bashing through a door.
he likes the idea of you dressing up for him, but he’s also actively pulling up your dress/top to hide your cleavage if he even thinks another man may have glanced your way. yet… he will go to the gym shirtless, and if other women happen to ogle him, well it’s just fine because he didn’t notice them anyway.
you don’t like the house you’re living in when you move in together? well he does, you’re staying… he’ll just fix it up a little to better suit your needs. even if he screws up setting up a new counter or painting, that can all be fixed.
you want to go out with your friends? he should be allowed to come with you… spending time with you makes him happy. why wouldn’t you want him to come too? yet, when he wants time alone to focus on his aim, decompress with a book, or mess around with a vehicle or a house project, you’re expected to leave him be.
he’s too blunt about what he does for work, doesn’t bat an eye when he tells you he put a bullet through someone’s head and watched the spray. he’s so used to it, it doesn’t even faze him anymore, but… you don’t want to hear about it? oh that must mean you think he’s something filthy or worse. he’s not going to cry, but he might bring it up when you tell him about something you enjoy.
just ridiculous, petty things that would drive most up a wall, but he’s firm in whatever he decides. there’s always a little room for compromise, but not much without an argument.
he has his savings account and the house is in his name in case you decide to leave. it would gut him, of course, but a part of him also expects it.
he’s not above begging for you to stay, trying any way that he can to convince you, but… he’s never expected to have things handed to him easily. his childhood wasn’t the best, why would his adulthood be any better? the way he sees it is simple: he doesn’t hit you, his cock and heart are reserved solely for you, if you can’t love him enough to stay, then… maybe you’re not any different from the people he’s known before.
he’s self aware enough to know he can be a complete arschloch, thinks with his cock more than his brain, but he’s completely lost when it comes to matters like love. he wants to console you when you cry, when you’re angry, but asking you a dozen times just why you feel such a way while squishing you into a too-tight embrace doesn’t help much. his search history is filled with things like “why is my girlfriend mad at me” or “how to make a woman stop ignoring me”. his communication toward you isn’t great, but he tries in his own way. very easy to break an argument up when he tells you some silly, scripted thing like, “I’m here for you. I’m listening.” when under normal circumstances he’s staring at you with wide-eyes and swallowing hard the very second you seem a little ruffled. you tell him to stop reciting some guide he read online, and he’s immediately worried sick you’re going to think him a complete fool, in utter denial about ever having searched something like that up.
can’t see him as being god’s gift to women in the bedroom at all. König has probably watched a lot of porn. he doesn’t care for the scripted, practiced stuff, but his tastes have always been a little odd. the amateur, solo stuff is what piques his interest the most. he knows a vibrator can make a woman come, knows that a dildo can be nice too if she sets the pace. what he’s watched with a proper couple, well… the men are always smaller than him. the terms and dynamics are lost on him, he knows what a safe word is and that he should be a gentleman and make sure his partner finishes too, but each time that’s happened has been a miracle really. he’s not a virgin, but he’s never had a partner long enough to bother learning. if he can make you feel good and vice versa, that’s enough, right..?!
he’s not going to bludgeon you with his dick, he knows he’s a bit too big and thick to just fuck you recklessly, but often times he does get excited or fretful— too deep or too shallow, flicks your clit like it’s indestructible or keeps his head between your thighs waaay after you’ve already come. he’ll stop when you ask, when you’re teary eyed and overstimulated repeating the ridiculous German word he makes you use. not above begging you to use your hand on him instead, though…
switching positions is difficult if you’re a lot smaller than him. he’s not against having you on your knees, but he wants to be so close, pant into your ear about how good you feel, smother you with his weight all the while. missionary is a nightmare because he’s drooly and comes far too quickly when he can see your face and overpower you like this, cue further squishing even after he’s done; you’re likely going to be lying beneath him all night. cowgirl seems to work best, though he’s a bit too fond of having your tits so accessible - expect biting!!
when i try to think of König with any sort of hobby my mind just blanks. i think he would try a lot, but never stick to one thing! he’s got a few sporadic collections, but nothing he keeps up with to the same caliber as his guns and knives. books are often half-finished these days, keeping focused long enough to sit through a puzzle or the like is rare. definitely longs to have something for comfort that isn’t some winding trail to no where or suffocating you in himself to just have a hint of what it feels like to be entirely happy and ‘normal’.
he’s become a bit of an amalgamation of all of the things he liked as a child: knights with their swords he thinks of as his knives, deities with bolts of thunder cascading from their hands like the bullets from his guns, loves in the way he read men of myths fall in love - utterly unfathomably devoted but always the leader… if he could he would probably whisk himself and the object of his affection to another place entirely where he could be someone deserving: someone who’s loved despite the way that he looks or behaves, someone who’s never had to question what love was at all.
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radfemverity · 1 year
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Liberals will defend absolutely anything. And with the rise of trans and nonbinary identifying men developing more obscure, previously-unheard-of fetishes, we will see truly bizarre cases of abuse that go beyond what our legal framework is designed to tackle.
Nowhere can we see this more than with @nominal.Naomi on Twitter, a TIM who produced milk to feed his partner’s child. He also has posted many photos of said child.
Those of us with commonsense spot the red flags this immediately, but liberals say “Lol how is a parent feeding their child a form of child abuse?” Then we point out he has called his lactation abilities “cow achievement”. And that he has an OnlyFans where he cosplays as a cow. And that he has kinks for cows, milk, and breastfeeding. At the same time, he states that while he is currently feeding the baby through a bottle which he’s already put his milk in, he is hoping to be able to directly breastfeed, nipple to mouth, soon.
Liberals still say “lmao TERFs really believe that a mother breastfeeding her child is abusive.”
Two hypothetical questions for those with that line of thought (‘hypothetical’, because I already know the fucking answers):
1. What are the odds, in your opinion, of Naomi, a biological male with a fetish for cows, milk and breastfeeding, who also calls himself a mother, who already posts photos bottle-feeding and wants to directly breastfeed soon, including this child in his OnlyFans content when he is physically able to do so? Bearing in mind that the aforementioned fetishes he has are already topics of his OF. Would you still say that this is transphobes acting as morality police, trying to prevent a parent from innocuously feeding their child, if videos of said child being breastfed became Naomi’s content? Would you be okay with it so long as the child’s face was blurred and cropped out of the footage? Would you say that it is harmless?
2. Under the scenario that this does happen, is this child pornography? If not, why not? Irrespective of his sex or gender identity, this is what Naomi gets off to. He already makes porn with these themes. If it does constitute CP, how can you safeguard children with the existing legislation? You can’t make photos or videos of breastfeeding illegal. It is a biological function of mothers (actual mothers) – which then leaves the option of criminalising it solely on the grounds of men with fetishes partaking in it. But you thick-as-pigshit liberals have already made men with fetishes a protected characteristic in law. And they can sue you for anti-trans discrimination if you dare suggest that they are involving a child in their sexual fetishes.
I’m sure I will get zero answers of any kind, and liberals will do what they always do which is cycle through the four stages of unrelenting denial, before finally saying “how could we possibly have known that something like this would happen?” “how could this have even been prevented?” and act as if they are hatchlings who cracked out of their eggs into the world yesterday and have no idea how anything works.
Probably shouldn’t mention eggs though, don’t want to give ‘mommy Naomi’ any ideas. God, male sexuality is depraved. They really can make a fetish out of anything. And those of a centre-left political disposition will be right there behind them, cheering them on, ready to shut down any legitimate concerns with the classic line of “how does the way other people live their life have any affect on you? Why do you care?”
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nayatarot777 · 4 months
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Lilith in Aries/1st house
this is intuitive astrology. meaning that i’m making these notes based on what i intuitively pick up about this astrological point being merged with these signs. take it with a grain of salt and understand that you might not relate to everything that i get from your placement 🖤
Astrology Masterlist
your anger, direct expressions of emotions (positive or negative), and assertion towards your needs/desires were rejected. now you come across as stoic/unreadable in first impressions or when you’re around people who you’re not entirely comfortable with (whether these people are complete strangers, family, friends, coworkers, etc).
your instincts were suppressed. this gives the energy of you acting on your impulses and being shunned and shamed for this - especially during your childhood. nobody tried to teach you healthy ways of dealing with them.
as a result of the suppression of your anger, you come across as calm (even in situations when you feel the complete opposite), until something tips you over the edge - leading to a drastically aggressive and (perhaps) violent nature. it’s years and years of bottled up anger spilling out.
lilith in aries/1st house always reminds me of the people who were shamed the most during their early years. you could’ve even had a parent who negatively reacted to you when you were just a baby due to your instincts to cry when you needed something (for example).
when you’re suppressing your lilith energy, you deal with chronic fatigue. this is because you struggle to just go after things in the moment that you want to take action. you stall yourself and then lose the impulse to do what you wanted to do in the first place.
^ this may also be the reason why you feel as though you can no longer feel true excitement about things.
you can swing from a complete lack of spontaneity to too much spontaneity to the point of self destruction. you were never taught how to merge your natural spontaneous nature with rational decision-making. people just told you that your rash actions were “bad” and never gave you advice about how to exert that energy in a healthy way.
you trigger boys/men (insecure + immature men) the most. because they’re threatened by the masculinity that they see in you - especially if you’re a woman or a gay man (someone who immature, ignorant men believe “should” have less masculinity than them). they automatically see that your strength and ability to defend yourself is stronger than theirs.
you either completely reject your anger or completely embrace it - but may struggle to express it in a healthy way if you haven’t yet integrated lilith into your personality.
may have experienced other people (especially boys, men, and/or your father) abusing you (physically or sexually). experiences of someone violating your body in some way due to their own weakness regarding not controlling their anger/instincts. the same exact shit that they shamed you for. you’re a reflection of everything that they are (that they’re ashamed of). but it’s easier to vilify someone else than to vilify themselves, right?
others of you have probably just experienced unnecessary aggression from those people.
you could also swing between extremes regarding expressing your sexuality. either completely suppressing it to avoid shame (as you’ve probably been shamed for expressing it before) or presenting yourself in a completely sexualised way as a source of rebellion towards the people who’d vilify you for it.
some people with this placement get their vitality through being shocking to people and riling people up. through triggering people - whether that’s purposefully or just through how they want to present themselves.
others try to avoid this in certain aspects (whether it’s through a lack of defending themselves, completely covering themselves up and dressing modestly, not expressing what they truly want to, etc) so that they don’t have to deal with people’s negative reactions. but people are still going to find an issue with your lack of expression. it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. it always is with lilith.
when you finally embrace your lilith nature, people could perceive you as always looking angry or intimidating. especially in first impressions. this comes from lilith’s lesson that she learned earlier in life: that anytime someone views you as weak, they’ll assert their power and dominance over you. so you learn to become that way yourself: powerful and dominant.
^ when you finally drop this first layer that you meet people with, you’ll see people testing you. trying to overpower you after they’ve gotten to know you a little bit. they’ll mistake your gradually more open nature for you letting your guard down. they view you as weak in that moment. until you assert your defensive nature again to put them back in their place. they won’t try this with you at first, but as soon as they see an opening of - what they perceive to be - “a weakness”, they’ll try to dominate you. at this point, reasserting yourself is when they realise that they shouldn’t fuck with you again.
don’t let anyone get away with treating you like you’re able to be dominated. when you do, it’ll get worse. defend yourself. always. otherwise people will think that they can continue to overpower you. and the more you act like that type of behaviour is okay, the more you feel powerless. when you finally step into your power again, you’ll react in an extreme way to regain power from all of the times that you’ve felt disempowered due to that person. so don’t let it get to that point. stand on business when you need to. always 🗣️💯
^ and don’t mistake that for always being defensive. only bring that out when people are dumb enough to try you.
you may have also been shamed for focusing on yourself. called or treated like you were ‘selfish’ because of this. always being conditioned to never think of yourself and what you need. to just put others before you. that’s also another way that people drain your power and personal vitality. focus on yourself THE MOST. because when you don’t, people will constantly tug on your energy and start acting entitled to the energy that they know damn well you should be giving to yourself.
^ due to this, you’ll probably face negative reactions from people who feel entitled to being co-dependent on you when you finally decide that you want to focus on and prioritise yourself. fuck them. they benefited from you neglecting yourself and that’s why they’re mad that you’re putting in place boundaries. people expect you to forget about yourself too much. and they don’t take into consideration who you are as a person and what you need.
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