#and rodney is Well Aware of that fact

[sga-owns-my-soul]

i think one of my favourite things to write is rodney being Absolutely Certain that john would never hurt him under any circumstances

[winchestersheaven]

Smowkie recs McShep

i've been reading a lot of McShep fics lately and a while back i mentioned that i had plans to make a couple of fic rec posts. they're taking me forever to make, but here's the first one, finally!

@wonkyelk was one of the first authors i found, and i've read and loved SO MANY of their fics! wonderful author that made me fall head over heels for the pining!John and oblivious!Rodney trope! 💖

this is by no means an exhaustive list of the fics i loved from them, it's just a small number of the ones i read and enjoyed. my biggest recommendation with this author is to just go read their fics, it's great stuff and their language is delightful.

so here goes, in no particular order:

19 McShep fics by WonkyElk (under the cut, because this got long)

Of Sealing Wax and String 3562 words | Teen author's tags: First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, POV Rodney McKay summary:

Rodney had never had so much love in his life that he wasn't desperate to catch all the drops that he could.

Smowkie: there are too many things that i love in this to mention them all, so i'll just add my favorite quote from the fic: "[...] a thoughtful look, albeit one squarely aimed at the floor, which was hardly likely to appreciate it." 💖

You’re the Book That I Have Opened 1834 words | Teen author's tags: Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay, Character Study, Angst with a Happy Ending, Short, Internalized Homophobia summary:

At eighteen, John Sheppard had known a lot of things. He knew how to dance, with exactly the right level of polite formality. He knew how to ride well and the proper care of a horse. He knew everything about the theory and mathematics of flight. He knew that being a fighter pilot was the absolute dream of his life. And he knew - knew - that he wasn't into guys.

Smowkie: lovely thing, chock-full of John feels, and with this quote: "They sat in silence for a while. Silence was something John could do. It never came out awkward or wrong, you could never blurt out unintentional silence, or get your bits of silence all mixed up and taken out of context." brb, crying about John Sheppard.

How to Disappear Completely 7276 words | Teen author's tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Temporary Character Death, Feelings Realization, POV Alternating summary:

"Look, I know you don’t know me and you’re not aware of the fact that, if you knew I was missing - which you don’t, because I never existed and, even if I did, you wouldn’t have met me yet - then you’d be very, very upset about it … but I really need your help. And, actually, so does the universe."

Smowkie: this one is amazing! mild horror warning for the creepiness in the beginning, that was some well written discomfort! also, so much love the fantastic way WonkyElk chose to show Rodney's mood and vulnerability 💖

New Every Day 2047 words | Gen author's tags: Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay, Angst, Short, POV John Sheppard, Character Study summary:

Sometimes it seemed like he had to relearn emotions, over and over again.

Smowkie: this one! what a lovely thing. all the John feels. i want to add a couple of quotes here too, but they're right at the end so i'm not doing that, sadly. i can quote "Especially Rodney" though, because especially Rodney 💖

Some Misunderstanding 6193 words | Teen author's tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Human Experimentation, First Kiss, POV Alternating summary:

The path to Ascension was not a smooth one.

Smowkie: this one! UNCOMFY. really really good with a very interesting style, but oof, uncomfy! love it!

All You Need is … 1830 words | Teen author's tags: Short, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst summary:

The thing about love was, that it wasn't enough. It might fill you up and set you alight and hug you close and tear your heart out and pet you gently and hang like a slow-dragging weight around your neck: but, for all of its bullying and grandstanding, it skipped right over all the practical things and let you scramble around to fix those up - or not - as best you might; but definitely with none of its assistance.

Smowkie: this made me all mushy inside, it was great 💖

Flowers and Other Ambiguities 1289 words | Gen author's tags: Pre-Slash, Character Study, POV John Sheppard, Short, Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay summary:

The field was blossoming in such rich dark blues and purples, with an underlying green, that John was irresistibly put in mind of the ocean, his feet lightly stepping over the water, mindful of the lurking creatures of the deep.

Smowkie: this one holds a special place in my heart. it was one of the first McShep fics i read and it's what really sold me on the pining!John and oblivious!Rodney trope. it's such a wonderful fic, and the pining, man the pining 💖

But Soft … 1645 words | Teen author's tags: Fluff, Alternate Universe - College/University, Theatre, Short summary:

"I'm just suggesting, John, that, perhaps your speeches about Juliet, should not be notably less impassioned than your banter with Mercutio."

Smowkie: i’m generally not interested in AUs for McShep, but i had enjoyed so much from WonkyElk that i read this anyway, and BOY am i glad i did, because i adored this!

Not Early, But Not Too Late 810 words | Teen author's tags: Short, Realisations, Getting Together, First Kiss summary: 

Rodney finally learns the language.

Smowkie: this is just lovely 💖

A Matter of Mugs 2959 words | Teen author's tags: Post-Canon, Break Up, Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Oblivious Rodney McKay summary:

Rodney's emotional levels were generally at critical, but, right now, they were straining the banks and spoiling for a flood of world-drowning proportions. This wasn't because of a crisis, nor even anything so petty and ordinary as a mid-life crisis - not that Rodney was old enough for that, slap bang in the very prime of life as he was and intended to remain - but more of a build up of small things and not-so small things, stacking up awkwardly on top of each other and wobbling under the pressure and the terrible engineering choices.

Smowkie: this is a wonderful read, and i love how John comes first for Rodney long before he realizes his feelings for him. also Rodney and Jeannie bonding 💖 (to clarify the break-up tag: i've chosen not to add relationship tags in this post since all fics are McShep, but this fic has both the John/Rodney and the Jennifer/Rodney relationship tags, and the break-up tag is for Jennifer/Rodney)

One Stroke of The Moon 1378 words | Gen author's tags: Short, Episode: s05e06 The Shrine, Light Angst, Team as Family summary:

When the Avarro moon hangs lowest in the sky, ripe and full - so bright and summoning that your head becomes full of it and nothing else exists - then it is, that some climb to the very top of the trees, stretch out their hands and their hopes and touch her on the belly, with a reverent stroke. Those that touch the moon in this way are never the same afterwards. Nor would they want to be.

Smowkie: this is such a lovely thing. the team’s loyalty and love to Rodney is just 💖

A Staff, A Spear 2179 words | Teen author's tags: Character Study, Angst, Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay, Short, POV John Sheppard summary:

For a time, he had no memory, no self; no pain. Until the sunshine cooled in his blood and the wine left him with a sigh, like a ghost, and his whole personality fell back inside him, with a thump. It was so heavy, being himself again, he could almost have cried.

Smowkie: the fic that made me make this post. this one really hits you smack in the face with John feels. it's heartbreaking and painful in the best of ways. 💖

Setting Parameters 4545 words | Teen author's tags: Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure, Virtual Reality, POV Alternating summary:

It absolutely wasn’t a holodeck.

Smowkie: i love a good holodeck disaster story, but this is so much more than just that, and i adore it. the McShep relationship especially, but also Teyla (and Ford too) 💖 much love! and my favorite quote: They rested against each other when they were done, in a way which, to the laymen’s mind, might very easily be confused with snuggling. guys, come on... xD 💖

A Pair of Shadows 2090 words | Teen author's tags: POV Outsider, Rodney and John are Stuck Together, Fluff summary: 

John and Rodney become joined at the hip. This is not metaphorical.

Smowkie: glorious outsider POV fic 💖

Opposite to Blue 1459 words | Teen author's tags: Short, Character Study, References to Depression, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Sheppard summary:

The first time that John had met Rodney McKay he had been brightly, regrettably, orange.

Smowkie: more John feels 💖 Rodney is such a sweetheart in this, and he pretty much killed me with the quote "the wiggly thing your voice did when you called me" 💖

A Sufficiency of Freedom 1342 words | Teen author's tags: Character Study, Short, Light Angst, Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay, POV John Sheppard summary:

From time to time, people had asked John why he loved to fly.

Smowkie: this has such great imagery, a beautiful insight in John's mind 💖

An Anchor in the Mist 1620 words | Teen author's tags: Short, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, First Kiss, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Sheppard summary:

Sometimes, when he was back on Earth, John would look around at the colours, the brightness, the busyness - the sheer number of people, the surrealism of it all - and wonder if it was actually real.

Smowkie: THIS ONE! i adore this one. it's John feels again, and it's hurt/comforty and angsty and sweet and loving and painful and happy and just beautiful. i want to live in this one 💖

To silent ash 1529 words | Teen author's tags: Angst and Feels, Post-Canon, Sad summary:

Dear Jeannie…

Smowkie: ah, pain. it's beautiful and so very sad. read the author's note before the fic and decide if you want the spoilers or not, but either way it's worth it imo, i loved it

Accepting a Complement 1433 words | Gen author's tags: Short, Feelings, working out a relationship summary:

He wasn't sure exactly when he and Sheppard had become 'those two' or 'you two' or 'that pair' to so many people. But, now that the phrase had jumped up and bit him, so to speak, he was very aware that he had heard it too many times to count.

Smowkie: this fic made me feel in love with McShep. i mean, i guess i am in love with McShep, that's sorta how i ship, i see something and fall in love. but this fic, yeah, it brought it out so much that i was just a mess reading it, the whole thing; giddy, grinning, the stomach thing that feels a lot like anxiety but isn't. yeah, i love this one, it made me so happy 💖

[petewentzisblack1312]

If you haven't done so already, I would love to hear you elaborate on You're Crashing and how it relates to the Fred Hampton Jr trial? My knowledge of him and the trial starts with your header text and google isn't exactly forthcoming on the climate of public opinion at the time it was actually happening. Also I just want to hear your thoughts since I heard it from you first, if that's ok

no problem. take what i say with a grain of salt, as im not american, so this isnt my history directly. additionally, this was before my time.

after the beating of rodney king at the hands of police, and the acquital of 3 of the 4 officers responsible, there were riots. the 1992 los angeles riots to be precise. these riots sprang up amid a backdrop of tension between black american and korean communities, and during these riots, a korean menswear store was firebombed. fred hampton jr, son of civil rights activist and martyr fred hampton, was found guilty for this, with the main piece of evidence i believe being that there were blisters on his hands. he and his supporters maintain his innocence for this event. many people, particularly black political activists, believe that his guilty verdict was mostly because he continued his fathers legacy in fighting for racial justice in america.

it is a known fact explicitly stated by the band that youre crashing but youre no wave is inspired by this trial (this is pre release, so the song names are different). this is demonstrated through the narrative told by the lyrics. the story ended before it began. the DA didnt need to give his closing argument, because the jury already believed it from the narrative spun on the news. 'everyones looking for relief/a bidding war for an old flame's grief' the old flame in this case being his father, from whom he picked up the torch. you could pay to close the case like a casket, because whats inside it is messy, and no one wants to see the dirty guts of the truth. the jury is stacked. the witnesses are well paid (too well dressed for the witness stand). the song heavily, heavily implies over and over, that this is not a fair trial, and that there is a foregone conclusion.

i feel as though its easy to argue this song is out of place, but personally, while its VERY on the nose and not really all that subtle (and i like that about it, dont get it twisted), i think it fits into the theme. i mentioned a while back that 'be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. then life seems most enchanted after all' refers, in the context of its association with this album, to the stars in hollywood. ioh is about media narratives first and foremost. its about fame, and celebrity, and painting a perfect picture, one that sells well. its all about the artifice ('style your wake for fashion magazines' 'i only think in the form of crunching numbers in hotel room collectong Page Six lovers' '"we need umbrellas on the inside" get me just right.') and in this case, it shifts its focus from media and celebrity into media and politics. which i find really really interesting.

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Siege II, Pt. 7

Once Weir is able to secure the nukes from the Genii and it turns out they are incomplete, McKay and Zelenka start working on them to finish them off. We have seen a lot of close-up shots of McKay's hands over the season, and once more we witness how nimble his hands are, how he is able to handle the delicate nuclear bomb with such intricate and yet firm movements. We can imagine that he can do a lot more with these hands of his than fix nuclear devices, which most of his high school chess club could do, after all.

We then get a rather interesting scene in which McKay requests Beckett to give them a stimulant:

Beckett: You wanted to see me, Rodney? McKay: Yes, yes. I need something to keep me awake. Zelenka: Yeah, me too. Beckett: I've already given you something. McKay: Yeah, well, we're building nuclear bombs here! Staying awake is sort of a prerequisite. Beckett: Snappy! All right. I'll get you another stimulant. Carry on.

They use the generic word 'stimulant' but during this time, prescribing amphetamines was still endorsed by the Air Force. While such stimulants increase focus, which is what they so desperately need working on actual nuclear bombs, they also cause a phenomenon called 'cognitive tunneling', meaning that while this focus is intense, it's also narrowed. While they can help someone focus on a task, it also hinders having a wider awareness of what is happening outside of this focus. They are great for helping people do what they need to do, rather than what they want to do. And this will be the crux of the issue, highlighted here. This whole scene is meant to lay the ground-work for what happens, why everything plays out the way it does. The fact that they've had several scenes showing us just how exhausted McKay is and have this whole entire scene calling attention to his use of stimulants during this time is important.

The casual way in which McKay requests Beckett for the stimulant is also interesting and possibly concerning. For him to even have the idea while his mind is focused on doing something else entirely indicates that this is not the first time he has had to make use of them. He has been working for the military for a long time and it is possible he's had to do tasks requiring extreme focus before. He also likely went to college on a scholarship and the fact that he has two PhDs means that he probably had to produce a lot of work of high quality while pressed for time. He has a lot of nervous energy at the best of times.

In Tao of Rodney (S03E14), when Sheppard is teaching him meditation, he finds it extremely difficult to wind down. He self-confessedly has anxiety, and one of the things that gives him anxiety is having to stay still and not talk. We also know that he has been seeing a therapist and there is a high likelihood he has been seeing one since his youth. Any number of these things might have acquainted him with stimulants. But there is also the possibility that his experience with stimulants comes from the gay club scene, where poppers and recreational drugs have been in frequent use all of his adult life. He obviously hasn't been partaking in them while marooned in another galaxy (or during his stints in Siberia and the Antarctic) but it is entirely possible he has past experiences with 'stimulants'. We see Beckett put McKay through an actual withdrawal later in The Lost Boys (S02E10).

Between McKay and Zelenka asking for the stimulant and finishing up with the nukes, there is a message from Weir broadcast on city-wide, for all of them to hear:

Now I know how tired you all are, and how much we have asked of you these past few days. Hopefully the Daedalus will arrive soon, but until that happens our fate is in our own hands. If, during the course of this battle, our mission fails, I will give the order to evacuate. Now, we all hope it won't come to that. But if it does, don't hesitate.

Just like at the end of the previous episode, the words spoken by Weir have a profound effect on what John Sheppard decides to do. With these words she has not just reminded him of how exhausted McKay is and how much they all have asked of him, hearing her words on city-wide also reminds him of the previous time, of the day before, of what he felt when he was listening to her words then. Her words drive home the thought that his fate is in his own hands and he knows that he cannot live through that same experience ever again.

We never see Beckett administer what ever 'go-pills' he had in store for them but McKay's exhaustion seems to be getting worse and worse. They finish up with the nukes at the nick of time which only gives them a small reprieve.

Radner: Time's up. McKay: Well, what a coincidence. We're done. Zelenka: So. Chair room? McKay: Right.

Zelenka doesn't actually accompany McKay into the chair room but goes to make sure that the nukes are safely loaded up on the jumpers. It looks like Zelenka was merely reminding McKay that he was supposed to go to the chair room next, as McKay seemed to be grinding down in spite of the stimulant. McKay makes his way there and with the attack of the wraith imminent, we next find him there with Sheppard. Because Ford was with the team that came to pick up the nukes and had likely been sent there by Sheppard, it seems as though Sheppard was already waiting for McKay down at the chair platform when he got there.

And then we move on to the most pivotal scene of the episode, and of the entire season.

We learned in The Storm (S01E10)/The Eye (S01E11) that for Sheppard, getting the people he cares about killed is his greatest fear. That the more he loves something, the more certain they are to be destroyed because he does not deserve to have good things. We ended the previous episode with him thinking that it had happened, that he had lost McKay, and we watched his heart breaking. In The Defiant One (S01E12), we conversely learned that for McKay, the thing that caused him the most pain was abandonment, the thought that no matter how hard he tried to save them, the people he cared about would choose to leave him, would choose even death over him like his mother had, because he does not deserve to be loved. People always leave him because he fails to do what they expect him to do for them. That if he can't do what they want, if he can't give them what they need, he is worthless. And we finish this episode watching McKay's heart break in turn. It is because they mean so much to each other that, even though they don't mean it and certainly don't intend it, they are capable of causing the other pain that had been unimaginable to them before these moments.

So, McKay and Sheppard are alone together in the control chair platform, as they had been previously when the darts were attacking the city. They get a message from Weir asking whether Sheppard is ready to do what they had planned, and she uses the name Sheppard here, which is not insignificant. Not because Weir uses the name but because it calls attention to the fact that Sheppard is now calling McKay Rodney where during the previous time they were in the same situation, he called him McKay. This had been due to him trying to put that little bit of distance between them because he was just coming fresh off having that painful discussion about Col. Sumner with Col. Everett. But now, while the situation is basically the same, it is also very different. Sheppard has pretty much spent the better part of the day keeping McKay safe. Unlike previously, he's not currently trying to run away from himself, so he is able to be more intimate with McKay. And just as he did before, he is craning his neck back wanting to see McKay while unable to do that from his vantage point.

Sheppard: Rodney... McKay: The generator's not powering up like it should be.

And just like previously, there appears to be a problem with the interface and even though Sheppard had 'bitten his head off' before, McKay is still trying to explain the problem to Sheppard as clearly and succinctly as he can.

Previously, Sheppard had snapped at McKay to get it up and running, demanding a fix to the problem from him, putting the weight of resolving their situation squarely on McKay's shoulders even though ever since they had returned from Dagan two weeks ago, he had been trying very hard to do the opposite of that, to ease the weight on McKay's shoulders. Sheppard knew better than anyone how much pressure McKay was under, and then because of his own unresolved issues he had just added to it, had taken his bad mood out on the one person he least wanted to hurt. And he knows McKay so well that he can tell it's still affecting him, that it is because of their earlier exchange McKay is quickly starting to despair over not getting this thing to work like it should.

In addition to the fact that Sheppard can actually hear darts crashing into buildings all around them, they are also getting pressure both from Weir and Zelenka via the intercom:

Weir: They're sending in another wave! Major, we need to go! Sheppard: McKay? McKay: There's something wrong! Power levels are dropping! Zelenka: Rodney, nothing is happening! Weir: Why are there no Jumpers in the air? McKay: We must have exhausted the Mark Two's energy output. It's dead.

The fact that Zelenka calls him Rodney but Sheppard had suddenly once more shifted from Rodney to McKay calls attention to this fact. They are all growing more desperate by the moment and Sheppard seems to shift to McKay not just because they are all on the intercom where they are overheard by everyone but also because he doesn't want to say the name 'Rodney' in the urgent, desperate tone in which he speaks the name 'McKay' here. It also highlights the fact that the direness of their situation is once more causing him to do what he had intended not to do, that this whole plan to use the jumpers had been meant to avoid them having to do, which was to put all of the pressure on McKay to perform miracles. Somehow, they were back here, all of it falling on McKay's shoulders when that was the last thing he wanted.

And then McKay says the word. Dead. He doesn't even say it to Sheppard, he is answering Weir's question via the intercom, explaining the situation to her because she is "asking him to do the impossible" once again. But as soon as McKay has spoken the word, it's all he can hear. He thought she said he was dead.

The first words Sheppard said in the previous episode where we started this story were "I thought you said it was dead," and his final thoughts had been that McKay had died. It is McKay speaking this word that triggers him, combined with the previous scene they had together on the chair platform, combined with Weir's voice on the intercom. Events converge to remind him of what had happened the day before, the dark place he had been mentally and emotionally in that moment, everything he had gone through before he had learned that McKay was still alive, that hadn't died after all. No. Not again. Never again. He wasn't doing that.

So, Sheppard tells him, "So long, Rodney," again shifting back to a more intimate address, and takes off without looking behind. He is so quick about it, so casual, that it takes McKay and his stimulant-focused mind a moment to even realize what has happened--and I want to emphasize the fact that at this moment, McKay hasn't even realized what Sheppard intends to do, all he knows is that Sheppard left, left him behind, abandoned him in their moment of need just like everyone else always does. He is hurt beyond words by this action while he has yet to even understand what it is that Sheppard plans to do, why he suddenly took off.

Now, your casual viewer watches this, Sheppard suddenly taking off from McKay like it's no big deal, only saying "So long" like he's basically saying "Bye, Felicia!" Like he's dismissing McKay, just leaving him behind because he's got to go and play the hero, he's just got to go and sacrifice himself because that's John Sheppard for you. If you have a very surface understanding of who Sheppard is, it's easy to come to this conclusion. The scene is so quick, it's over so fast, Sheppard cares so little for McKay that he doesn't even turn to look back at him as he decides to sacrifice his own life for the people of Atlantis and, according to some, especially Weir, even though he hadn't spared an iota of attention on Weir when she had been held hostage by the Genii earlier even when we saw Col. Everett checking up on her both ways.

But we have witnessed not just Sheppard's habit but his need to look at McKay, a need so strong that he actually has to forcibly stop himself from doing it from time to time, and not only in this actual episode but throughout the entire season. Rarely when they are in the same room is Sheppard turned away from him, not looking at him. The fact that he takes off without looking at McKay is an anomaly, and as such, it tells us something. It tells us that he couldn't look back, he had to keep himself from looking back, because if he had, if he had seen McKay, he fears that he might not be able to go through with it. If McKay could read his intention off of his face, would know what he was about to do just by looking at him, and he told him to stay, he would. If McKay told him to stop, he would stop. And he can't let McKay do that, not now.

As Sheppard slips out, it takes McKay a moment to realize this has happened because his mind is entirely focused on solving the problem. The tone in which he speaks to Sheppard here while he's still trying to fix the problem is very different than the one he used with Weir just a moment ago, much softer, still trying to explain to him what he's doing because he knows that Sheppard needs him to explain things to him, he wants him to explain things to him. And while he does call after Sheppard when he does catch on, we should also note that he does not ask Sheppard to stop:

McKay: There's got to be a way to… Major!

Just like at the end of Sanctuary (S01E14) when everyone else had told Sheppard what they wanted him to do, McKay did not do that out of respect for his autonomy. Even though he has the most sway over Sheppard's decisions, even though he holds the most power over being able to influence Sheppard's decisions, he does not use that power. McKay loves Sheppard so much that he would never tell him what to do--and he doesn't even have to, because we have seen Sheppard do what he likes without him having to say a damn thing.

And don't think that it isn't heart-breaking that McKay has to call out to him by using his title, here. They are on the intercom, they are surrounded by a brand new company of marines and his new hard-ass CO, they haven't had a moment of themselves since before he had taken off on his mission over two days ago, and as far as McKay had understood him, Weir just calling Sheppard 'Major' had caused him to revert back to calling him McKay. The man that he loves, he's not even able to call out to him using his name because of the situation they are in.

McKay can only watch his back as he leaves. He's confused, he doesn't understand why Sheppard had just done this, and he does not yet know what Sheppard intends to do. All he knows is that Sheppard had just bailed on him when they need him the most. They can't do this without him.

What the hell just happened? What is going on? He looks so utterly lost without him. Like he just realized that not only is there no purpose to what they are doing without Sheppard but that there is no purpose to anything if he isn't there. He doesn't serve a purpose if Sheppard isn't with him. There is no purpose to him if he doesn't have Sheppard.

And so, Sheppard's plan is to take one of the jumpers with a nuke and fly it into the hive himself. Running toward the jumper bay, he rushes past Weir, overhearing that she is about to give the evacuation order. Let me emphasize that: Sheppard is running right past her and only stops when he hears that she is about to give the evacuation order. It is hearing this that makes him stop for a moment when he otherwise had no intention of stopping for her (and true to form, there is a railing between them because Sheppard needs to have that something between them pretty much all the time).

Weir: We may need to give the order to evacuate. Sheppard: Elizabeth, wait. Weir: You can't. Sheppard: I have to, and you know it. Weir: John... Go.

This is an important scene but often misinterpreted. He calls her Elizabeth, she calls him John. This witnesses to intimacy between them, especially if we compare it to him just having called McKay by his surname (although that was not the last thing he said to him), and McKay having called him Major. In the episode, we get this private moment between them when there is none between Sheppard and McKay. And this is the point. Because Sheppard has no feelings for Weir, he is able to do this. Because his feelings for McKay are overwhelming, he is unable to deal with them, he tries to outrun them. We are shown again and again that losing McKay is the thing he most fears, the thing he can't even begin to deal with. We don't get to see a scene of emotional, tearful good-byes between them because John Sheppard can't. It would break him apart.

But it is clear that something between Sheppard and Weir has changed between the two episodes. Sheppard intimates that Weir should know why he is doing this. That Weir has some special insight into his reasoning. It is also true that while McKay still, to this moment, hasn't realized what Sheppard intends to do, Weir seems to understand it right away just from having seen his face, the look in his eyes, the depth of his desperation. There is such a deep fear in Sheppard's eyes, playing out on his face, that he would ordinarily never have let her see but which he can't keep hidden. It's overwhelming him. And it's not the wraith that he fears, it isn't what he's about to do that makes him afraid, it is reliving the pain that he had felt when he thought McKay had died. And this is where what we didn't get to see but which must have happened between the two episodes comes into play.

We ended the previous episode with Sheppard believing that McKay had died when the wraith destroyed the Ancient satellite, which also seemed to kill him inside. We left him off as a husk of a man staring unseeingly into nothing. Weir's message on the intercom had caused him to break. And then, at the start of this episode, it was as though none of it had happened. Sheppard followed Weir into the control room as they welcome McKay back from his mission, both men avoiding looking at the other.

Some people will undoubtedly connect Sheppard's exchange with Weir here to what happened at the end of Hot Zone (S01E12), where Sheppard had made a similar decision, after which he told Weir in her office that he sometimes sees things a little different, he sometimes makes calls that other people wouldn't make. And for sure, that's what he is doing here. He is making a call most people would not make. But their exchange here isn't in reference to that. What Sheppard knows that she knows is much more recent, much more urgent. It is from Weir that Sheppard had to have learned that McKay was still alive. And in order to learn that, Weir must have seen what he was like before that, when he still believed that McKay was dead.

There is a new trust between them. Weir does know. When someone has lost the love their life and is freshly grieving their loss, pretending like the rules and regulations of an institution in another galaxy suddenly become pretty meaningless. When they have lived under the impending attack from the wraith and the military commander that has been trying to keep everyone's hope alive suddenly seems as though he has lost everything, it tells you things. Between the episodes Weir had witnessed Sheppard's grief and had learned the truth about his feelings for McKay. And when he tells her that he has to do this now and she knows it, she can see it in his eyes that he does. She can see an echo of that grief, still fresh.

She can see the whole extent of his desperation. She does not want to see Sheppard the way he had been ever again because it had frightened her. His conviction frightened her now. And again, like in Sanctuary, she tells him to go. She tells him what to do when McKay does not. She tells him what to do as though she had any power to stop him from doing it. She has no authority to stop him and she tells him to go where the only person for whom he would have stopped could never ask him to do it. She tells him to go as though he had been asking for her permission to do it when what he is doing is making sure here is that she understands. He is making sure she understands that she needs to see to it that McKay survives this, that she comforts McKay the way she did him, that she makes sure that he will be alright if Sheppard does this. It isn't until he is sure that she understand that he takes off.

And I really want to drive this point home: during this episode we saw Sheppard both not care at all that Weir was in mortal danger all alone in the Genii homeworld and to dedicate a considerable amount of his time and effort into personally keeping McKay safe. If you think this translates to Sheppard suddenly deciding to sacrifice his life for Weir and not care about McKay enough to even tell him good-bye then we are watching a very different show. John Sheppard doesn't do good-byes. He won't even say good-bye to McKay while they're on the phone. The fact that he told him "So long!" is actually a huge moment for him. It's so close to a good-bye that it must have been difficult for him, that he really thought this was it, their last moment together.

But you didn't tell him good-bye, Ford told Bates when he was done recording his message to his little brother in Letters from Pegasus (S01E17). Not in so many words, Bates replied. What Sheppard tells McKay here, not in so many words, is monumental. Those two words confess to his love for this man. To no one else would he have said even this much. He does not say good-bye to Weir as he leaves her here. For no one else would he do what he intends to do now. Because he isn't going in with an attempt at rescuing anyone (which is what he had done in Afghanistan), of fighting for anything, of avenging anybody. He isn't even doing it to keep Earth safe like Colonel Sumner had done. He is going in to lay down his own life so that the person he loves, the person he cannot lose, will survive and live on. That is what Weir reads in his eyes. She can see that she wouldn't be able to stop him even she tried, she cannot talk him out of doing this. He has to, and she knows it.

Weir looks sad as he takes off. She looks resigned. She looks guilty. In fact, she looks the same here as she looks a moment later, when she can't get a response from Teyla and believes her to have died.

She does not look like someone just broke her heart into a million pieces. It's not her heart that he is breaking.

Continued in Pt. 8

[fuck-customers]

i'm going on a road trip for my birthday, a 10 day trip, all my managers are aware and approved my leave. tell me why everyone's least favorite manager has started giving me shit about it, when i informed them a whole 2 months in advance and got coworkers to cover every shift (graveyard, not the easiest to get coverage for which is why i started early). it's almost like they realize i'm one of the few reasons this store doesn't go to shit during graveyard, even other employees notice when i'm not on the graveyard team bc of how poorly shit gets done the 2 days a week i have off. we have our 8 week inspection coming up so it may be part of the reason but still, you were well aware of it and she even threatened to revoke my leave (against the rules so i screenshot the email to send to hr later). no other manager has an issue, in fact they've wished me fun in my trip to see family and friends i haven't seen in ages. fuck you, you don't make my job easier, W.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[spurious]

Since you're not feeling well, a little happy ficlet prompt: Fluff from the fifth song in your Spotify Likes!

is this fluff? i really don't know. i actually have no idea what the hell this even is but i think you can probably take the weirdness up with mr. john darnielle anyway

Rodney knows his team will always come for him, but even with that surety, he's still struggling to stay calm as he's taken prisoner for unspecified claims of "witchcraft."

"It's not witchcraft, it's physics, you absolute morons," he'd shouted, voice going shrill and strident, but the villagers had ignored both his protests and his attempts to explain the experiment he'd been conducting, dragging him away from the outpost while the others were exploring nearby.

The tiny village is, it turns out, a front for a much larger society—and you'd think they would fucking check for that at this stage, but no—and most of the community lives in a system of white-rocked caves. They bring Rodney to a small room, attach him to a chain in the floor and cuff his hands together, then leave.

It's two days before he sees another human face, and when he does it's a woman who seems to be some sort of bureaucrat, flanked by tall, broad-shouldered guards.

"Wizard of Atlantis," she says, and Rodney tries, really he does, not to roll his eyes. He thinks he should probably be commended for this, but no one ever seems to appreciate these efforts from him. "Your warriors have come to plead for your release."

"Oh, finally," Rodney mumbles, sighing heavily and standing up. "Let's get this show on the road, then."

The woman's eyebrows climb, but she directs one of the guards to unlock Rodney from the floor chain, and then he's led into a cavernous room, his team standing in the middle of it, each of them looking perfectly deadly in their own way.

"As you can see, warriors," the woman says, her voice echoing off of the stark-white walls, "your wizard is unharmed. However, we cannot allow him to be released, lest his evil magic bring ruin upon our community."

Rodney opens his mouth, but John gives him a look, so he closes it, decides to let his team do their thing. The room is full of guards, but they haven't confiscated their weapons, so Rodney's well aware of the odds if this goes poorly.

Teyla steps forward. "We understand your people fear Dr. McKay's powers, but I can guarantee that if you release him, your home shall be left standing." She shifts her weight, a subtle change in stance from diplomat to deadly. "If you refuse, I cannot make the same promise."

"You are but three warriors," the woman scoffs, and Rodney watches as Ronon smiles, sharp and gleaming like the blade of a knife.

"We got all the way here, didn't we?" John offers, and Rodney clocks, now, the small signs of a previous struggle on each of them. They fought their way in, he realizes.

"They must be in the wizard's thrall, to be so willing to offer their own lives for his," whispers another bureaucrat. "Truly his powers are fearsome indeed."

"Let him go," Teyla says, her voice taking on a steeled edge, "and we will return beyond the stars, never to trouble your people again."

One of the guards moves closer to Rodney, puts a hand on his shoulder, and Rodney can hear Ronon growl.

"We're not leaving without him," John says, low and dangerous.

Someone leans in, whispers in the lead woman's ear, and she nods, turns to the guards.

"Release him," she says. "We do not wish to draw any more harm to our people."

"Once again," Rodney says, as they release his handcuffs, "not practicing any type of magic, and, if I were in fact capable of magic, wouldn't I have been able to teleport my way out of here in the first place?"

Teyla steps up, her eyes sweeping quickly over Rodney, taking inventory.

"It is good to see you unharmed." She reaches up, putting a hand on the back of Rodney's neck and drawing him in, pressing her forehead to his for the space of a few deep, quiet breaths.

"Why didn't you tell me you could do magic?" Ronon asks, his mouth quirked up at the side, and Rodney breathes out a laugh, rolls his eyes.

"As I said moments ago, if I could—"

"C'mon, McKay," John interrupts, clapping a hand on Rodney's back. To an untrained eye, it's a simple gesture of camaraderie, but Rodney's been on the receiving end of this touch enough times to know that John needs to feel out the solidity Rodney's body for himself, to know he's alright. "Atlantis needs its wizard king back."

[hamsterrod]

LPS POPULAR REMAKE RECOMMENDATION AND RAMBLE

(but on an account that aligns with my "hamsterrod" "Rodney" one.)

Once I get into rambling about the series itself, I'll leave a cutoff to avoid spoiling anyone. However, since this is also a recommendation, I better give you all a good descriptor of what you might like about it.

The LPS Popular remake (MLP Fever on YouTube! Hey Cleo.) is a new spin on the series started by SophieGTV over a decade ago. I say new spin super heavily, because while lots carries over, it does deviate quite a bit from the original. (Love that part about it, just so you know.)

The first season takes place in the same highschool setting of the original, with the second taking place in college instead. To be as vague as possible about what to expect from this story, here are some things I think Tumblr users might like!

• Canonically LGBT characters. I'm aware of two (unlabelled in canon) sapphic characters, a bisexual character, a canonically gay character, and a canonically trans character. The majority of which appear super early on. • A highschool drama. Well, for the first season anyway. It's a lot closer to the original than season 2, but has enough differences to ease you into the changed plot and the things occuring in season 2. (Season 2 takes place in college.) • A satisfying conclusion for the characters in both season 1 and season 2. Really, if you only watch season 1 (which I don't recommend, watch the whole thing!) you will probably be just as alright with that as an ending as you would watching both seasons. And season 3 is confirmed, so I think it can really only go up from here. • Fairly realistic character conflicts, including a lack of a "real villain" for any particular plotpoint in the show.

Alright, onto the series itself.

Savannah Reed. Savvy is pretty much the bringer of her own destruction, she has a lot more obvious flaws in this series than the original, but that is absolutely not a bad thing. Savvy is the innocent girl in the beginning, but she's easily corrupted by her own heartbreak and her own experiences with other characters. In a way, Savannah's innocence is what corrupts her. She's really getting a handle on social situations for what seems like the first time, struggling to manage her emotions until they make her act out. She wants Brooke back, she wants her friend back, but that initial rejection from Brooke just makes her so upset. She spirals out of control, getting makeovers, hitting on Sage, dating Sage, and the conflict of season 1 all explodes at the party, sending her further down the tracks of being exactly what hurt her in the first place. Savannah and Brooke almost switch places for the remainder of season 1, and even after their reconciliation, Savvy's self destructive behavior doesn't really seem to end.

Season two for Savannah is particularly heartbreaking because the worst of it all is entirely based on a miscommunication. Briac isn't with Brooke, and the very fact that she doesn't know that sends her to be with Tom. She denies feelings for Brooke, over and over, running from things and inadvertently hurting herself, Tom, and Brooke in the process. Her running away at the end of s2 to be with Brooke was basically the perfect end to the character arc she had in season 2. To end the season where she runs and runs and runs from everything, her final action being running away to Brooke is so fitting.

Brooklyn Hayes. Really, who doesn't love a good mean girl? Brooke herself, apparently. Even from her first full interaction with Savannah in season 1, it was relatively clear to me that she wasn't someone who wanted to hurt anyone, especially not Savannah. Savannah coming to see her is, unfortunately, the thing that breaks down the persona she'd set up for herself. Brooke couldn't stand Savannah being in her school because it means she'd have to accept that she has had feelings for her the whole time. It's especially notable the change she goes through the moment the jig is up, the moment she can't keep her persona up, she changes to a lot more relaxed version of herself, even if she's miserable while she's at it. Season 2 is the same for her, really. She's grown a far meaner persona to keep Savannah at arms length while still being there for her. It's clear the jerkish side of her is either a front, or just not quite her real feelings, because she behaves so much different with Briac. She wants for Briac what she can't have for herself, and yet they both find happiness at the end of season 2. Brooke is a caring character, one that's actually pretty kind once her walls fall down, but she needs those walls, she needs to keep Savannah out, she needs to keep her friends out. Letting anyone in besides Briac is out of the question for her until the last minute, the last weeks before Savannah is married. Even then, even when Savannah knows, even when Savannah confesses the same to her, she lets her go. She doesn't want to push it. And Savvy choosing to push herself to leave is exactly what both of them needed. Brooke is tired of acting, Savannah needs to take the action step instead of letting everything happen to her. And she does.

Tom Dawson. Tom is only introduced in season 2, but he is so, so very major once he's there. I think Tom is an interesting example of how differently the perspective of the audience and the perspective of the characters is. Tom can't know Savannah's thoughts, she never tells him a thing, so he feels like he can love her. Tom is so tired of being seen as someone so famous, someone that people only want for his status, and for Savannah to treat him like a person, it's extremely exciting for him. Tom acts fast, he wants Savannah, the one girl who treats him properly, to stay with him. He jumps the gun with the early proposal, but why wouldn't he? Tom seems so isolated even with so many people that "love" him. It doesn't seem like he has all that many friends, he is just dragged into Savannah's group and we don't see much of him with anyone else. He's kind, he's caring, he listens, but Savannah never tells him anything he needs to hear, never tells him anything she needs to say. And if she did? I think he would be more than understanding, he wants Savannah's happiness. He wants her to be able to have a say in things, he asks at several points if she wants to be with him, and she lies. He's really the only character that doesn't get that conclusive end in the season 2 finale, but I have faith that there will be an expansion on the aftermath once season 3 rolls around.

[talenlee]

Story Pile: Afterschool Dice Club

Hey this is a blog where I tell you stories about games so what if I told you about a story that tells you stories about games? Well, would you believe there’s an entire anime in the Cute Girls Doing Cute Things genre that’s just… about games?

No no no – not videogames. Nor making videogames. Not any of those anime about MMORPGs. Not even the ones that are tie-ins to games like the Atelier or Persona or Legend of Mana anime. I mean an anime about board games. Yeah, I found one of those!

It’s really mid! And I love it!

Afterschool Dice Club is an anime so tepid in its overall hook that it sounds like a setup to a twist. It’s an anime about a small group of friends, in high school, who start a board game club. They play board games with one another. They have names and individual experiences and anxieties about being the age they are in the place they are, but none of them are remarkable, or challenging standouts that you’d be surprised to hear about. One of them has transferred mid-semester. One of them is afraid of being left behind. One of them is maybe crushing on a boy. This anime is some mild tea, which means the next thing to ask, is, okay, if that’s what happens in it, what’s it about?

When an anime is ‘about’ something it’s often actually about one specific author’s specifically narrow vision of what that thing is. Sometimes this works out to the benefit of the work – Beck is an anime that benefits immensely from being about the music that its author thinks of as important, because even if that’s a narrow collection of artworks to build out of, that collection is still definitionally something that you need expertise to represent, and the way the manga and anime represent that demonstrates that the author is meaningfully aware of true things about the form they’re commenting on. Sometimes you’ll see an anime that wants to be ‘about’ something that doesn’t seem to understand anything about what it’s talking about.

I wouldn’t conventionally call it one of your healing anime. It’s not an anime where relationships are pre-eminent. It’s not a story where there’s long, indulgent shots of things that are meant to make you go that’s nice. It’s structured almost like a sports anime, but because it has to explain to you the sports each episode, the stakes can’t really get higher. There’s no ‘best’ or ‘drive’ in it. It’s just learning about a new thing every week.

The term I feel applies here is authenticity, and when it comes to authenticity, well, Afterschool Dice Club absolutely authentic. It’s not about board games as the author imagines them, or board games the way that lesser games are about ‘a card game’ where they have to break the rules to make tension or drama happen in the story. It’s about actual, real, commercial product board games you can go to a store and buy and play right now. In fact, if you watch the anime episode on a game, you can probably play the game. The sections of rules explainers in the anime are detailed enough that they’re clipped out on Youtube to serve as rules explainers for how to play the game, like Watch it Played was about adorable girls rather than an adorable Rodney. Sorry Rodney.

There’s a taste to the games I consider somewhat classical. There’s obviously a bias towards German games, but it’s more a sampling preference. This anime doesn’t seem to have a love for representing social or negotiated games – these are games that are sometimes criticised for being wholly isolated, where players can play the game without crossing any kind of language barrier. People place their pieces and let their gameplay do the talking for them. These are fine games – I particularly like Diamante, as an example of a really good, pure game with a tight engine that puts you very close to some decisions. I also love Cockroach Poker, a game that I have owned and never gotten to play with anyone who isn’t paying to be there, because the game is an anxiety engine.

Which is how they represent it.

A lot of what you watch anime for is to basically be advertised to. You’re tuning into something that’s using a story as a vehicle to show you things that you can then merchandise your love for. You wanna see cool characters being cool and neat mecha and amazing character moments and things that the great anime industry can then, somehow, turn into money through giving you opportunities to express your love through money. It’s not even a joke, the anime industry as I understand it is essentially trying to sell you being a fan of this anime specifically. It’s why so many anime have been trying to key into pre-existing fandoms, like light novels and the like.

I feel like the thing Afterschool Dice Club is trying to get you to get into is like, following their youtube channel for game tutorials. It’s a niche interest that feels like maybe someone who runs a board game store franchise was trying to finance it into existence. And like, surely that’s not true. Surely that financial conspiracy is nonsense, just natural paranoia bubbling away that nobody makes anime for nice reasons. Which isn’t true, lots of anime get made for nice reasons! But the people making it are nice, the people signing their cheques, those people are buttholes.

And I don’t know what they’re getting out of it.

There’s a message towards the end of the story. I’m always reluctant when I want to refer to ‘the message’ of an anime, or what a story is trying to do as opposed to what I get out of it, what my impression was, but in the case of Afterschool Dice Club there’s a very clear, very specific incident in the last episode, where the players play a communication memory game, and then explicitly use the language of that game to talk to one another about their feelings.

I talk about the idea that games are ways we can practice emotions. In Afterschool Dice Club, the story is about kids who aren’t good at talking about their feelings using games to give themselves the language to do that. That’s cool! That’s demonstrative! That might be markedly non-typical ways of learning communication methods! This may be an anime for dorks like me with macaroni soup for brains that makes us like board games and then shows ways that we can make words in that macaroni soup.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[the-casbah-way]

you know something we don’t talk about enough in regards to robots (2005)? the ethical implications that come with the fact that parents BUILD THEIR OWN CHILD. do you fucking REALISE the potential horrors this concept could unleash. because yes, in the movie we see the building of the child as this wholesome labour of love as rodney’s parents build him, but we need only imagine the the other ways in which this could unfold. can you IMAGINE if humans could build their own children? the hellscape this world would evolve into? how much is within the parents’ control here? is financial status a factor? the movie implies that you can pay for better parts, so can you pay for a “better” child? is there a black market for superior child parts? madame gasket tells ratchet to “use the brains i stole for you”, implying that parents can and do alter their children maybe even in later life to further their own ambitions. humans are already well aware of the idea of parents treating their children like an accessory; of mothers projecting their perceived shortcomings in life onto their daughters because they view them as direct extensions of themselves. so did gasket build her son for the reasons rodney’s parents did, or was she simply creating a direct extension of herself, entirely designed to help carry out her plans? did ratchet ever even care about gasket’s vision or understand and agree with her ideologies? or was he literally built as a blank canvas onto which his mother could unload her ambitions? we already talk about the crushing weight of parents projecting their own issues and expectations onto their child emotionally; what in god’s name could this turn into when the parents have the ability to do this physically too? i shudder to think of what could come from this. i dare not speak another word on it, lest i awaken within myself any more lovecraftian horrors   

[phoenix-flamed]

Doors opened with a thud leading to the throne room that Elwin was currently sat within, likely talking to one of his advisors or the Lord Commander, but with tears flowing from her eyes it was hard for Clive to heed much caution. Her mother had scolded her again, admonishing her for her desire to 'play soldier' instead of behaving like a young woman should.

She clung fast to the man's leg, burying her teary face against him. "Mother told me I was unfit to be Joshua's shield, am I truly so?" The girl, aged ten, looked up at her father seeking some sort of reassurance that she was not doomed to fail her younger brother.

The sudden burst of the doors to the audience room immediately halted the discussion that had just been taking place moments before. The advisor turned, startled, to stare at the young child, both taken aback and insulted by the interruption of important matters. In fact, he started to speak up, to address her with contempt, but the Archduke silenced him with a simple raised hand.

For his part, the Lord Commander tried -- in vain -- to stifle his amusement. With a forward step and a hand reaching towards the advisor's upper arm, Rodney escorted the poor man outside to allow the father and daughter a bit of privacy. Both Rodney and Elwin were well aware that the prior would likely have to listen to an earful about how "unbecoming" this behavior was for both the princess and the duchy's ruler, but they were both also aware that Rodney would mentally roll his eyes and dismiss every complaint with a noncommittal reply or half-sincere apology on behalf of his friend.

Elwin leaned forward on the throne, and at first, a gloved hand rested on the little girl's head, gently mussing her dark mop of hair. Though his brow furrowed, he still smiled, a soft and warm and undeniably apologetic smile.

"My dearest little one," he spoke gently, before leaning over fully so that he could scoop her into his arms and bring her onto his lap. Once she was settled, his expression shifted into a more positive one, that same warmth of his smile extending into those ocean-green pools and pinching the outer corners of his eyes. "Of course it is untrue," he reassured. "Your mother simply... does not understand, that is all."

He ever so gently brushed Clive's tears away from her cheeks, then placed a kiss to her forehead. "You will make a fine Shield for your brother, my girl. Of that I have no doubts, and neither should you."

[wonkyelk]

⭐️⭐️

It was really hard choosing something for this, but I opted for ‘The Nightingale with Fethers New’ because it’s a little different from my usual stuff (with the caveat that this is an MCD fic, even if no actual deaths happen onscreen).

In common with many sci fi series, SGA features a lot of messing about with reality and realities and identity , in various ways, and that’s something I like to reference and play with, because, one, it’s fun, two, it creates a marvellous flexibility of story, and, three, it’s something which, in real life, would surely have a strong effect on you; perhaps to make you constantly doubt your own reality, to become attuned to things which differ from the norm, or to just double down on believing that whatever and whereever - and whoever - you are is real, because if you let yourself wonder too much, you’re lost.

“Perhaps it was only that they had become so attuned to the swiftness and ease with which things could go wrong here, and picked up on the minutest wrong note, an overeager little red flag for the subconscious. Especially when they had found so many ways for things to not be real. It couldn’t help but affect you, so many instances of discovering that what you had accepted as reality was a dream or hallucination; someone deliberately, efficiently and with terrifying ease, altering your mind.

And, even those times when they had been aware that their reality was not, in fact, their reality, it was - again - still so vivid; so easy to just forget for a moment that what you were experiencing as solid fact was not so; that your senses could be so easily and profoundly misled.”

The idea for this story jumped at me by way of changelings and the idea that Atlantis, if it was sentient, would likely be affected by the loss of its people and its long abandonment.

I wanted it to have that creepy, chilling sense of very slight things wrong, at first, which build steadily into a realisation of something much bigger - and much worse.

There was something different about Elizabeth. Rodney tried not to stare. People didn’t like that; but they also often disliked it when you didn’t notice their new hairdo or weight loss or rhinoplasty and how were you to tell, if you didn’t take a good long look?

It was probably the hair.

“Rodney? Was there something else you wanted to add?”

“No! Nothing. Nothing at all. Everything’s fine. Well, obviously, it’s fine, so very fine there’s no need even to mention it.”

Rodney looked down at his knees, filled with a panic that seemed unreasoning even for him. He frowned.

“Have these uniforms always been this colour?”

“Rodney, it’s been a long few weeks. I think maybe you’re due some R&R time.”

Rodney looked up, his mind filled with the millions - trillions - of projects, that he had on the go, all equally vital.

“No, no, it’s fine. Of course they have been. And you’ve always had hair. That hair. It’s very nice hair.”

Rodney shot to his feet and grabbed his laptop.

“I’ll be in the lab.”

I think this is my only fic without a happy - or ambiguously hopeful - ending and that was tough but also kind of liberating.

Sometimes, creepy and insidious can be a lot of fun. 😁

Thanks very much for the ask!

Link for the curious, but heed the Death Warning:

[sga-owns-my-soul]

🔦favourite sga moment involving mcshep or weir x sheppard

okay well. if there's one thing anyone knows about me it's that i'll ship anything and i'm also mcshep trash so 😅 it's going to be too hard to narrow this down to one moment so you're getting my favourite moments

for shepweir, my absolute favourite moment in the show is in the storm/the eye when kolya says elizabeth is dead and john immediately goes from soldier mindset to genocidal rage and literally does not stop moving and killing until he's told elizabeth is still alive 🥰🥰 we love to see it, i WISH a man loved me enough to commit genocide for me omg actual goals 😍 (although the moment in the tower is also really cute at the end when elizabeth's like they didn't offer you king? and johns like i turned that down too and the little SMIRK SHE GIVES HIM OH MY GOD THEYRE ADORABLE FUCK also in epiphany when she's like ooh i like the beard and he's like it's the first to go when i get home ahhhh it's just. idk it's so domestic and so adorable ugh they're too cute)

also for mcshep, every mcshep moment is a good mcshep moment (and i can make pretty much anything mcshep if i try hard enough) but my favourites come down to:

at the end of hide and seek, when rodney is laying on the floor of the gate room and john rushes down and is the first one at his side but his hands are just fluttering around because he doesn't think he's allowed to touch (or maybe he's too scared to, scared of what he'll show if he gets to touch rodney) it's just sooooooooooo and then john saying he passed out bc he's SO PROUD OF RODNEY FOR BEING SO BRAVE FUCK

also in the defiant one, where rodney is clearly shitting a brick, having seen one of his scientist's dead and one dying, and wanting to go join the fight because he's so scared of john being out there alone and something happening to him. rodney is SO brave and it makes me want to scream and cry and chew on the wall when i think about how many huge changes rodney makes simply just because someone gave him a chance and cared about him

also the whole of millers crossing obviously, the fact that john went back to earth with him and being as worried about jeannie, to john talking a man into killing himself, i mean even rodney asking john for permission (even tho he ends up trying to do it anyways, because that's what john would do- sacrifice himself anyways, and rodney's learned from john) just. the entire episode makes me feral

and last but certainly not least, the shrine. my absolute favourite episode of anything ever, what is, in my opinion, the best piece of media ever created in all of human history. the way rodney loses everything but clings to john so desperately, the way john is the one jeannie turns to for comfort, the way john is breaking in every fucking scene, BEER ON THE PIER, god just literally everything about that episode is so insane to me (and david hewlett went so fucking hard that man deserves every damn award omfg) also kind of unrelated but it's my personal headcanon that rodney was saying i love you to john and not jennifer in that video, rodney was just aware enough to know he couldn't say johns name, but that message was for him 100%

[wat-the-cur]

So great to see you've got into Only Fools and Horses and Trigger is making you happy! Out of the episodes you've seen so far, do you have a favourite? ~ neil-neil-orange-peel ❤️

Hey there, Buddy! Thank you so much for this ask, I’m on quite the kick at the moment! Hope you don’t mind if I waffle a little bit?

I actually grew up with Only Fools and Horses, but in that weird, disjointed way that you saw things as a kid, before the internet was a thing in your life, as well as the TV guide. I just saw it when it came on, and I did not know everything that was going on. The opening and closing credits are the height of cosy nostalgia for me, because I have such clear memories of sitting on the floor and being mesmerised by it. Rodney was my favourite, back then, because he seemed so silly (I mean he is, but he seemed more so then). Believe it or not, I was not even aware of Trigger, or any of the other supporting characters at the time. I did not even know that Grandad and Uncle Albert were different characters, I just thought they were the same character played by different actors. I can also remember my Mum getting annoyed when people called it “Del Boy”, i.e my Dad. I actually did not know what it was called for years, because my Dad just kept calling it “Del Boy”.

I ended up getting back into it properly, years later when it was available on Netflix for a time. Then, when it wasn’t, I bought my Dad the box set for Christmas. I’ve always loved it, but it’s just recently that it hit me like a freight train, especially with my newfound love for Trigger. For all that, though, I have to admit that I have not seen every episode. It takes me a billion years to watch films, and especially to finish TV series. It’s not even as though I don’t like what I watch, but I have to psyche myself up to see things, even when I’m fixated. Like, I fixate on The Lost Boys on and off, and yet I do not binge watch it many times as some of my buddies do. I watch it now and then, then just hardcore think about it for months. I don’t know if anyone can relate to this.

I do a lot of combing for Trigger moments, but right now, I’m trying to watch the whole series, in order, from beginning to end. I want to experience it properly. Maybe cry at the end, who knows. I can’t explain why I suddenly began to love Trigger. He’s been my favourite for some time, but right now, I’m fixating. He just makes me so happy, but also a little melancholy. I stand by my statement that he is the sweetest character on the show, if you don’t include Del Boy, himself. And I need to stop now, or I’ll just rattle about him for fifty years, and you did not ask for that.

In terms of which are my favourite episodes that I’ve seen so far, that’s a really difficult question. I know you asked for one, but a few sprang to mind. I guess I’ll name the ones I watch most often (baring in mind that I have not seen them all).

Christmas Crackers - For the entire second half alone. The first half is great, but the second, when Del and Rodney are at the club, absolutely cripples me with laughter. Rodney’s “body language” has me screaming every time.

Wanted - This episode is a weird one to like, really, because of just how cruel Del Boy is in it. It’s a great example of OFAH mixing the darkness with the light. A situation like this could so easily happen, in fact it probably often does, and OFAH does not shy away from the horror of it. However, it also gives some of my favourite lines from Rodney.

Who’s A Pretty Boy? - Corinne. Need I say more? Actually, yes I do. Denzil.

The Jolly Boys Outing - Just, good vibes everywhere in this episode. It does not get as heavy as some of the specials, even in it’s more intense moments. It honestly feels like you are in on the good memories, and I love that about it.

I know Trigger does not feature too heavily here, but he is never really a big player in any episode. I do have favourite Trigger moments, but that would make this post much too long.

Thanks again for the ask, buddy!

[danceofsteel]

Port Isolde. Of course, Elwin was well aware that their visit alongside his father was not for leisure. It was a business trip to check in with Elwin's older cousin, who had been placed in charge of overseeing the largest commerce hub of Rosaria.

But as always, that wouldn't stop the heir to the ducal throne from getting up to what could, for all intents and purposes, be called "mischief".

Clad in his traveling outfit -- which was considerably more tight and revealing than it should have been, much to the scrutiny of the nobles yet delight to young common ladies(and some lads) around the various settlements -- and with his sword upon his hip, Elwin Rosfield was more than ready to take on the world. Or in this case, to drag his friend and fellow soldier, poor Rodney Murdoch, away from the hustle and bustle and off to the city's outskirts.

While the Archduke attended to the important political matters, his older son was, like always, taking it upon himself to patrol the roads leading to and from Port Isolde. Bright and early, Rodney would be greeted with a knock to his door in the manor's guest wing. And before awaiting a response, an all-too familiar, teasing voice could be heard -- albeit muffled by the wood barrier -- from outside: "Rise and shine, Lord Murdoch! The sun says hello, and we would be remiss not to greet it in kind!"

Never was it possible for there to be a dull trip or moment when it came to his excursions that happened to involve the eldest Rosfield child. Rodney had learned that fact from the moment that the older boy had taken a curious interest in him despite Rodney being quite far from nobility himself. It was a shift from the expected paradigms, but one he embraced with glee.

Unfortunate however was the nature of the young man to not shy away from burning the midnight oil. His evenings were consumed to papers and books, knowing the amount of side glances he recieved for having attained the status of Lord through what some considered suspicious means. So it was that he strove to prove them incorrect at each plausible turn. So much so that he hardly felt rested from that knock and all too familiar tease that pulled him free from the depths of his slumber.

"Surely it can not be that late.." He murmured, stirring and rubbing at his eyes. His freckled face looked as if he could easily use another fortnight of rest as he stood from the bed and shuffled wearily to the door to great the somehow still loud, despite the muffling of the wood, man.

"I belive your volume could stir a Waloeder from his sleep without you needing take another step towards him." Rodney teased in turn as the door swung open.

@fire-branded

[kaymart18]

REFLECTION ASSIGNMENT -- JOURNALISM, FAKE NEWS & SOCIAL MEDIA FINAL

The video on the show Cops was a pretty interesting one as I’ve been a fan of that show, as well as the show Live PD. In the video, we learn about the history of both of these shows, and we also learn about the behind-the-scenes aspects. The show originated with the launch of the Fox TV channel. At the time, there was other writers' strike, and the CEO of Fox at the time introduced cops as a great idea as it didn’t require actors, nor script writers and all.

Over the years, the show was been criticized for showing negative stereotypes and being a device for cops in different cities and states to advertise their department or as a way to clean up an image when there is controversy. For example, when the Rodney King video came out in the 90s, the use of the show cops to film the LAPD was finally approved after years of trying, it was used to make LAPD look better. Many other police departments followed and did the same.

Live PD uses the same concept as Cops, it’s just less polished as opposed to Cops and actually shows rawer footage. At the end of the day, these two shows don’t need writers whatsoever and follow the same strategy for every episode. Both of these shows are significant to the audience, as it shows a glimpse of the real world when it comes to law enforcement. Both of these shows follow police officers around responding to calls on their radio, doing heavy investigations, as well as talking to the public, and interacting with normal people who aren’t criminals. Capturing these real-life events is quite interesting to me, even though I have no desire in going into law enforcement, it’s still pretty interesting to see.

The video about the false flaggers was interesting as well but for the wrong reasons. We see in the video that these people go on from different cities or states to harass others debunking situations such as shootings or other heretic events, completely shutting victims and survivors that these situations never happened and that it was fake and everyone involved is paid crisis actors and there is no significant evidence that these events never took place. The vocabulary used by the false flaggers was disgusting and very childish, as these two are clearly out of touch with reality.

To answer the question, visual journalism evolved and been different in today's world, a lot of these news outlets have been relying on videos and images to tell stories. With the rise of these conspiracies and hoaxes made up online, especially AI, with these deep fakes, it has been very difficult for journalists nowadays to have their visual media as effective. The example for the show Cops comes with how the police are made out to be, many have said that these shows glorify police violence and show negative stereotypes for POC, which can be an issue for visual journalism. Journalists will rely on the visual content that is put out on cops and they will think that these stereotypes are true and will most likely contribute to reporting bias.

Just like the issue with cops, these hoaxes that are shown on social media, as well as other platforms give a negative impression for visual journalism. These false flaggers are notorious for using videos and images to spread their wild views and crazy conspiracy theories. It makes it hard for journalists to fact-check and verify these things when they go viral and create mass panic among the public. I don’t want to get political, but most Trump Republicans are like this, they spread misinformation and cause mass panic with these wild ideologies.

With these issues, it brings up the idea of Critical thinking and the whole aspect of fact-checking when it comes to visual journalism. Journalists now have to be extra careful when trying to verify a piece of information and find out the legitimacy of what they’re seeing or reading. Journalists always have to remember to be aware of stereotypes and biases that they might add to their work/content. With these extra precautions, journalists can make sure that everything they put out is legit and accurate, and their visual media can be very effective when reporting their stories.

As a journalist or a communications expert, there are a few things that can help the audience gain more knowledge of the actual importance that is media literacy, with also promoting ethical journalism. Fact-checking our sources, as well as avoiding sensationalism that will make our biased sides come out. Things that will help are instructions on how to identify fake news and legit news, as well as teaching the difference between a hoax and a conspiracy. Overall, these two stories with behind the scenes of Cops and the video of the false flaggers were quite interesting and very informative.

[the-wandering-whumper]

Did I write a Stargate Atlantis/Short Circuit crossover in the year of our Lord 2022? Why, yes. Yes I did.

Ficlet under the cut

He heard them long before they knocked. A group of nervous feet, scientists by the sound of them. They whispered outside his door, apparently trying to decide who should knock before someone finally did. It was tentative at first, as though the owner of those knuckles half hoped he wouldn’t answer.

John Sheppard discarded his tattered copy of War and Peace he’d been reading and pulled himself up from the bed. He was half asleep, his hair no doubt sticking out at odd angles as he tried to rub the sleepiness from his eyes. He waved a hand in front of the door’s sensor and it slid open easily. Outside in the hall was a gaggle of scientists, most of them from engineering.

“Colonel Sheppard,” one of them greeted him. Judging by the encouraging nudge he got from his comrades, this must have been the one bold enough to knock.

John leveled him with a serious gaze. “Yes?” Inside he was all smiles. It amused him to no end that some of the scientists on Atlantis still kind of feared him.

“We were all just wondering,” their leader began. John was pretty sure his name was Patterson. “If you’ve opened it yet.”

John blinked, entirely at a loss as to what the man could possibly mean. “You’re gonna have to help me out here, guys. Opened what yet?”

“Oh,” Patterson said, glancing down at his feet and toeing at a tile. One of the other scientists nudged him again. “It’s just that… well, the Daedalus arrived last night with the latest supplies from Earth.”

John folded his arms across his chest. “I’m aware.”

“And we noticed your crate in with the rest of the mail.”

Every eye turned to John in an instant, but he was still confused as hell. “What crate?”

Patterson’s face fell. Clearly, he and his fellow scientists had been expecting a different reaction from John. He wanted to remind them all that sometimes it took a bit for the quartermaster to go through all the supplies that came over from Earth on the Daedalus, though the guy was extremely good at getting to the mail first. In fact, there was probably a slip of paper in the inbox on his desk alerting him to the fact that a crate was waiting for him down in the small room off the jumper bay they had turned into a miniature mailroom.

John narrowed his eyes. “Why are you all so interested in it anyway?”

“Well, it’s from SPECK,” Patterson replied.

“SPECK?” John repeated.

“You know, SPECK Robotics. Only the most successful robotics company in the world.”

John knew exactly what SPECK was - and his curiosity was instantly piqued - but he wasn’t about to show the scientists as much.

“It’s from them,” Patterson continued.

“And you all want to know what it is they sent me,” All the heads around him nodded in unison.

“It’s a rather large crate, sir.”

“Well, I hate to disappoint you all, but I really have…”

“You ordered something from SPECK??” an indignant voice called out from down the hall and John looked over just as Rodney rounded a corner. McKay elbowed his way through the gathered crowd and pushed Patterson unceremoniously to the side. The engineer looked about ready to punch Rodney in the face for the slight. “What in the hell did you order? It’s all anyone's been talking about this morning!”

“Get in here,” John said angrily, pulling the astrophysicist into the room by his collar. “And as for the rest of you, don’t you have jobs to do?”

John let his door woosh shut on a thought, cutting off the scientists’ exclamations of disappointment.

“What the hell, Sheppard!” Rodney growled, shoving John’s hands away once the door was finally closed. “What was that for? I just ironed this shirt!”

John put a finger up to his lips and listened at the door. The sound of footfalls and mumbled conversation was, thankfully, moving off. They were leaving.

“What the hell is going on?” Rodney demanded.

“I have a package, apparently.”

“And a fairly large one. Or so I’ve heard,” Rodney said, his eyes glinting for a fraction of a second as John’s head snapped up. “It’s down in the jumper bay. But you still haven’t answered my question. What did you order from SPECK?”

“I didn’t order anything,” John said, exasperated. “That’s what I keep trying to tell everyone.”

Rodney’s face fell just as Patterson’s had. “Oh.”

Fully awake at this point, John began pulling on his boots. There was no helping it now, he was going to have to go down to the jumper bay and see what in the hell the company had sent him.

“You really have no idea what it could be?” Rodney tried again.

John signed. “None whatsoever.”

————

There were several scientists circling the crate when John and Rodney arrived down in the jumper bay 15 minutes or so later. While Rodney dealt with the gawkers, John tracked down the quartermaster so he could sign for the package. The Sergeant was very happy to see him. Apparently, a lot of people (mainly scientists) had been pestering him about the crate and it’s contents as soon as they’d unloaded it. The sooner John got it out of his jumper bay, the angry Marine informed him, the better.

When John returned, Rodney was already holding a crowbar.

“Easy there, killer,” he laughed, circling the crate and looking for the label. When he finally found it, he was pleased to see it contained much more than just the shipping information. There was a thick packet of paper folded up behind the label. Fishing his pocket knife out of his BDUs, John sliced into the clear plastic film affixing the packet to one side of the crate. He unfolded the papers to reveal a photocopied newspaper article on top. It was an obituary, he realized upon closer inspection.

“Why on earth would someone send you the obituary for Newton Crosby?” Rodney asked. He’d come up behind John and was reading over his shoulder. John ignored him and flipped to the next page in the packet. It was a short handwritten note penned in a familiar and elegant hand.

They both wanted this. He’ll be safer with you.

- Cheryl

Oh boy, John thought to himself. Things were about to get very interesting.

“Cheryl…” Rodney read aloud. “Not Cheryl… Crosby, right? Not the CEO of SPECK Robotics…”

John looked over his shoulder at Rodney but said nothing.

“I don’t believe it!” Rodney exclaimed, throwing up his hands. “Were you going to tell me you were on a first-name basis with one of the most successful businesswomen of our time? Or was I just supposed to find out by reading your mail?”

“It’s… complicated,” John finally said after a beat.

“Then uncomplicate it for me,” Rodney demanded.

John took a moment to choose his next words carefully. “My unit did some field testing of some of their tech during one of my tours. Crosby came out for some of it and brought Cheryl along with him. We stayed in touch after.”

“I bet you did,” Rodney mumbled under his breath, snatching the papers out of John’s hand.

“I can’t open this here,” John blurted out, suddenly very nervous. If the crate contained what he thought it contained then they needed to do this carefully, for their own safety as much as for the protection of what was inside. John’s only consolation was Cheryl’s words. They both wanted this.

“Can you have someone move this to one of your secure labs? I need to make a few calls.”

Rodney was looking up at him like he was nuts. “Sure, but… you’re really not going to open it?”

“Not yet,” John said over his shoulder, already on his way out of the bay. “And I mean it, Rodney. A secure lab. And no one goes near that thing until I get back. That’s an order.” Those words would hardly mean a thing to McKay, but John used them so rarely that he hoped the scientist would at least acknowledge he meant business this time.

———

When John finally joined Rodney in the lab they had commandeered to store the crate, he was just as clueless as he had been when he left the bay. His calls to Cheryl had gone unanswered, though he’d left messages for her at the office and even at the ranch in Montana. He was still wrestling with what they should do next when Rodney practically bowled him over as soon as he was through the door.

“This is amazing! Why didn’t you tell me?”

John grabbed the papers Rodney was waving under his nose away from the scientist angrily. “Because, Rodney,” he fumed, “most of its classified. And don’t you know it’s illegal to read other people’s mail?”

Rodney waved him off. “This is incredible. Extraordinary! I mean… the implications alone… the applications….”

“Woah, slow down, Rodney. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here,” John warned. He pulled up a stool to one of the empty lab tables and began rifling through the papers. The farther he read the wider his eyes got. What had Crosby and Stephanie been thinking?

“Exactly what Cheryl had written,” his brain supplied. “That he’ll be safer here with you.”

John looked over at Rodney who was practically vibrating with excitement on the other side of the table. He’d somehow gotten a hold of a crowbar again. “So, can we open it now?”

John sighed heavily. There was no longer any reason to keep stalling that he could see. The packet of info Cheryl had sent along with the crate explained it all. It was clear it was time.

“Alright, Rodney. Just… be careful.”

Rodney bounded over to the crate like a kid coming down the stairs at Christmas. He had a gleam in his eye as he used the crowbar to pry the front panel away from the sides. It fell open onto the floor as soon as it was free of the nails holding it in place. The inside was stuffed to the brim with protective padding and it was impossible to see what was inside.

Rodney huffed his displeasure and began clawing at the foam, throwing wads of it over his shoulder as he dug.

A kid at Christmas indeed.

John sat back and watched him do it until Rodney had pulled enough of the padding away that the two men could finally see what was inside. “Well I’ll be damned.”

The robot looked exactly like the kind of machine you’d expect to see built in the 80s. The design was crude and boxy, like it would be perfectly capable of playing a Betamax tape if you asked it nicely enough. Rodney seemed disappointed at first, but John knew, as soon as he reconnected the wires Cheryl advised they had disconnected so Number 5 could be unconscious during transport and pressed a few buttons, McKay would be back to that kid at Christmas in no time.

John stepped forward and removed the last of the packaging from around the robot’s head. He opened an access panel, reconnected the necessary wires, punched the large red button below the robot's main terminal, and stepped back. Lights flashed and the whirl of machinery could be heard before the closed metal flaps covering the robot's eyes began to flutter. They had always reminded John of butterfly wings.

Number 5’s eyes opened, the iris focused on his face and John smiled. “Welcome back.”

Rodney must have jumped three feet into the air when the robot suddenly started rolling out of the crate and into the light of the lab. 10 years had passed since John had last seen Number 5 and the robot still looked the same. Same hardware, same tech. No upgrades. Just the same old Number 5.

So far, the robot hadn’t said a word, and John worried for a second that he had been damaged during transport somehow. Those worries were proven unfounded a moment later when Number 5 opened his arms wide and finally spoke. “John Sheppard.”

Rodney’s mouth was hanging open beside him. John decided a little more shock couldn’t hurt the scientist and stepped up to the robot. He threw his arms around Number 5’s neck and hugged him. It was just as awkward as it always had been, thanks to the robot's design, but they managed it.

“I’m so sorry about Newton,” he said when they finally broke apart. “And Stephanie. I would have been there for the funerals if I could have gotten back to Earth.”

“We know,” Number 5 said, his head falling. The robot was very obviously still grieving the loss of his friends and had no trouble conveying that, despite his rudimentary design.

“I’m glad you’re here, though,” John said to change the subject. “Cheryl told me all about the hair-brained plan you and Crosby came up with.”

Number Five chuckled, the line of lights that made up his mouth curling onto a smile. “The kids weren’t too happy with the idea, but I couldn’t stay at that ranch. I couldn’t spend the rest of eternity hidden away and alone. Not without them. This seemed like the best option.”

John nodded knowingly. Number 5’s voice still sounded computerized but there was no denying how human his voice patterns sounded these days. When John had first met him, he still sounded very much like a robot.

“Ahem.” Rodney cleared his throat and John nearly startled. He’d completely forgotten the scientist was even there.

“Oh shit! Where are my manners? Dr. Rodney McKay, meet Johnny Five.”

John stepped aside and was barely able to contain his amusement at the look on his friend’s face.

Rodney did his best to school his features and stepped forward. Robot and scientist shook hands.

“Pleased to meet you Mr. Five,” Rodney said formally. “Welcome to Atlantis.”

Oh yeah, kid at Christmas.

Fin.

(Let me know if you want me to keep going. I have ideas and this has the potential to be a rather fun series.)