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bustyasianbeautiespod · 1 year

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S3 Wrapped! Transcript

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello. My name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast, where I, someone who has seen this show several times…

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian. [laughs] For today's episode, we will be discussing Season 3, like, as a whole. Our thoughts and et cetera. And our- I don't know. What we think about season 4 before we go in.

C: Yep.

G: Yeah. I think it's pretty obvious from how we have taken in Season 3 what we think of it. But let's start first with what we liked about Season 3. So-

C: Oh.

G: It's sparse. [laughs]

C: There are more women, and they're very mean to them, but sometimes they're on screen and Sam and Dean aren't saying anything.

G: Yeah. I think for me, the highlight of the season really is Ruby. Like, she brought in a lot as a character, but also, she brought on for the show and for the brothers the, you know, concept of, “Can we trust a demon?” And, you know, like, future Supernatural, we just have a demon buddy. Like, we just have Crowley over there. He's just- he's just there.

C: Yeah.

G: How does Crowley die? Do you remember? Is it the beginning of Season 13?

C: He kills himself in, I think, 12.23, right before Cas dies-

G: Oh, before.

C: - and to defeat Lucifer in the Apocalypse World. Yeah.

G: Yeah. Oh, yeah! Because Rowena outlives him. [laughs]

C: Uh-huh.

G: A slay for us all.

C: Indeed. Oh, right. You really don't like Crowley. I forgot.

G: Yeah, I think you forgor [C laughs] I really like Crowley, but I really don't. Yeah. Like, in the future Supernatural, like, we have a witch friend, we have a demon friend. But here, early on, it's such a wild concept that like, "We have a demon friend!" Even though they don't do a lot a lot with it, it's still fun.

C: Yeah. Yeah. It's fun to see them have allies. I feel like Ruby and Bela are both like, morally-ambiguous women who they still turn to for help because of their expertise in certain matters, but still screw them over sometimes. And that's a fun character type. I enjoy it.

G: Yeah.

Since Season 3 is a lot shorter than, you know, other seasons, we've talked a little bit about how the shortness of the season is kind of a detriment to it. Like, especially with, you know, wrapping up Bela's storyline.

C: Yeah.

G: That was like, tough, because it was so short, and there was- they weren't given enough time to actually explore it. But did you think Season 3 like, told a full story?

C: I mean, that man did get ripped apart by hellhounds.

G: Yeah! You know, I was thinking about the other day, like after we did the recording for the episode, and I was like, “Wow, he really-” like, Lilith- it was an L in every way. [C laughs] In every single way.

C: Yeah.

G: Lilith found them. I don't know, Sam is all alone now. Dean is dead. Bobby didn't get any screen time.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: Like, everybody loses.

C: And Ruby is gone, who was like, their only ally who seemed to know shit about the Hell situation.

G: Yeah.

C: So yeah. I mean, I guess Lilith didn't kill Sam. That was the only victory of the season?

G: Wasn't able to.

C: Yeah. But also, I feel like Lilith was- I mean, okay. Lilith was not introduced that late, in that we hear about the rival factions of Hell in 3.04 “Sin City” via Casey. But I do feel like I wish we'd had more Lilith sprinkled throughout the season, because I feel like all that picks up way too fast starting with “Jus in Bello.”

G: Yeah, I don't actually remember much about the plot of Season 4, because I was paying attention to other things. [laughs] Like- I think Lilith does get much more exposition and screen time and etc. in Season 4-

C: Okay.

G: - so perhaps they were like, “Well, we don't have much time this season. Let's just do it in Season 4.” And they did, so it's fine.

G: How about Sam and Dean as characters? Like, what are our thoughts on their character arcs this season?

C: Hm. Well, okay, let's start with Sam. So, starting from AHBL Part 2, he's just the worst guy in the entire world, for no reason [G laughs], but he-

G: No, there is a reason! There is a reason.

C: Just that Jake killed him, so he's like, angy about it? Like, get over it.

G: No, like not specifically for the Jake thing, but like, overall for the entire season, he was like, kind of like annoyingly-

C: Yeah. He said it was because like, Dean's gonna be gone, so he has to be Dean now, and that means being an asshole.

G: "Strong." Yeah. I disagree. I disapprove. I mean-

C: Yeah. I guess Ruby also said that, though, and Ruby's never been wrong about anything, so maybe he is right? Who knows?

G: Yeah. [C laughs] I think the thing about Sam this season is he goes through this arc where he's really nice to people, and he wants to save everyone and be nice to everyone. And then, you know, around season 4, he is like, “I will bleed this nurse to death.” And then, after that, he comes back to being like, “Our purpose is to save people etc. first and foremost.” And like, we are in the middle of that arc, the second arc. We're in the middle of that one.

C: Right.

G: And it's interesting to see. Because his motivations, I don't think- I don't buy it that much, you know? Like it doesn't feel real enough. Like, do you think that's just a switch that people can flip? Like, "Now, I'm not gonna care about other people." You know. [laughs]

C: I mean, he's had little dialogues where he's like, “Yeah, I do feel like shit about all of this, but that's not a useful emotion, so I'm not going to think about it.” So like, I do think that people can be repressed enough to try to flip that switch.

G: Yeah, perhaps. I mean, what do you think about Sam’s arc right now?

C: I don't know. It's difficult to say given that he's not really the main character of any of these episodes.

G: Well, I think he's more main character this season than in season 2. Which is shocking because Season 2 was sold as a Sam season.

C: Supposed to be, yeah. Hm. Yeah, okay. So his- what? His main motivations are to try to save Dean, and like, being willing to do whatever it takes and etc., and becoming more like cold and calculating, or whatever. Which, sure. I guess that sort of happens. I don't know. He's a guy. He's there. He looks good.

G: Sometimes. Sometimes he doesn't. [C laughs] How about Dean's arc?

C: Uh, I think-

G: I mean, he was like, “I'm gonna die." I think he-

C: "And that's fine.” And then he goes, “Wait! I don't want to die.” That's his main arc.

G: He's like, "Anyway, yass." I've been seeing this a lot on like, social media-

C: Okay.

G: - and I think it's really interesting. Like, people who are like, “It's actually in bad faith to like, make a character suddenly want to live and then kill them anyway.” [laughs] Have you seen this?

C: Oh. Are people turning to Dean Winchester for depression rep?

G: [laughing] I don't know.

C: [laughing] 'Cause I don't know about that one, folks.

G: I don't think- I mean, I'm laughing, but like, I'm willing to hear it out. But also, I think sometimes a story needs to be tragic. That's just the situation.

C: Yeah.

G: I think- Well, he does come back to life, as we know.

C: Yeah. He's back. It's fine.

G: It's fine. But like, this is his turning point. This is when Dean turns from a guy who's kind of an asshole to like, a guy who, you know, we see to become Season 13 Dean. I feel like this is a massive, massive turning point. This is when everything goes to shit.

C: 'Cause of the 40 years in Hell, some of which he spent torturing people?

G: Yeah. Yeah.

C: Yeah, I guess that can do something to a guy.

G: Yeah, 40 years. Damn.

C: Damn.

G: Well. Tough luck. [both laughing] Sorry, Dean.

C: Yeah. Sorry that the writers wanted- like, what? Higher pay or more breaks or something, and therefore you were supposed to be saved in Season 3, but then they had to push Sam’s demon blood arc to the next season, and then you had to go to Hell for 40 years. But have you considered that we got Cas out of it? So like, get over it, Dean?

G: We literally got Cas out of it.

C: I mean, like, yeah, like it does suck. But he's not a real guy, [laughing] so I just can't be bothered to care that much.

G: I mean, we have to inherently care because we are a [both] Supernatural podcast.

C: Yes. [laughs] Well, the thing is that Cas is a real guy, but Dean isn’t, so...

G: Interesting. I'm not gonna debate you on this [C laughs] because, surprise! They're both not real, but- good for him.

C: [feigning shock] What? What do you mean? [G laughs]

G: I think this is the portion where we start talking about Season 4.

C: Okay, yeah.

G: Man. I am genuinely- Like, this is where Supernatural starts to pick up for me. I've said this before, and I'll say it again, but to me, Seasons 1 to 3 is like the prequel of the show, and I believe that less now, actually, because I've been through Seasons 1 to 3, and I actually quite enjoyed the ride, and it felt like, you know, a real story. But like, it's a prequel, dude. And like, now, we're really in it, baby.

C: Yes.

G: And I don't know. Not even just for the Cas situation, which obviously I'm very excited about. But like, Season 4 Sam and Dean is the beginning of the Sam and Dean that I know. Like, I know these guys, you know?

C: Yeah.

G: It's like their backstory's over. They’re established people now. Season 4 Dean and the fact that he went to Hell dictates how the rest of his characterization pans out. And for Sam, I think it's about to start. Like, what happens to him in Season 4 is what redirects his entire life into what it becomes. So shockingly, for me- maybe I'll change my mind when we actually do start to see Cas on screen. But like, for me, I find myself more excited for what will go down for Sam specifically. Oh my god! Can you believe it? [both laugh] I've become the Samfan of this show.

C: That's fun. I appreciate that. I mean, I do look forward to Sam's demon blood arc, especially because it involves Ruby.

G: But? Or-

C: I do feel like in like, Destiel fandom, Season 4 Sam is the only Sam that exists in their mind, and then he becomes nothing to them. So I feel like I know a lot about Season 4 Sam that I don't know about other seasons Sam. So I am excited to see all the clips I've seen in every AMV, but I'm also more excited about learning about even later seasons Sam, because I don't know him very well yet.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. I just- I'm thinking a lot about how, for us, Season 4 is the start of Supernatural, and it's where all the angel storylines and all the like, free will shit comes in. Like, that was not what this show was. So for people who were watching from the beginning and then started seeing Season 4 when it was airing, it was probably like, “What the fuck is happening here?”

G: Yeah. That's true.

C: Like, this was their monster-hunting show. And now it's still their monster-hunting show, but it's also mostly about free will now. Which I don't think is a main theme of Supernatural Seasons 1-3 at all.

G: Interesting. I don't think it's a main theme either. There are portions of it in the show, like, you can feel that there's a vibe of it, but it's not the main theme.

Okay, this is an interesting question: What do you watch Supernatural for?

C: Cas.

G: For this podcast, number one? [both laugh] But like, for number 2, what's the reason? Like, what got you into Supernatural in the first place? What's the concept? Like, what's the thing?

C: I mean, just Cas.

G: It's literally just Cas?

C: I feel like I don't have a deeper reason. It's just Cas. He's like, a funky little guy. I like to see him. [laughs]

G: Yeah. For me, I think it also is Cas, but like, the reason why it has retained me for so long, it- I mean, it's obvious with the other media that I like, but like, it really is the whole free will situation. Like, being under control of other people and like, forces that you cannot control, blah blah blah. Like, that is a very compelling kind of story to tell for me. So like, in that manner, maybe that's why I think of Season 1-3 as the prequel of the show, because it doesn't have that essence of it yet.

C: Right.

G: That's interesting.

C: Yeah. I think I also watch Supernatural because it interests me social experiment-wise. Just the fact that it ran for 15 years, which is a lot longer than most shows. and you can see the way like, television standards and stuff shift throughout the seasons. And also the way they reacted to having a fanbase that they didn't want to have. So like, I guess I enjoy Supernatural's- or I hope to enjoy Supernatural's future meta stuff. But yeah, it's just Cas and the social experiment aspect. I feel like I don't actively engage in the themes as much as you do. [G laughs]

G: Okay. Let's do the spreadsheets.

C: Alright.

G: Take the stage.

C: Alright. So let's start with our misogyny, racism, and homophobia statistics. So, you know, this was a fun season for all of that. So we ended the season- We've got 16 episodes. We ended it with 19 total misogyny points, 12 total racism points, and 8 total homophobia points. Our most misogynistic episodes, with 3 points each, were “Sin City” and “Malleus Maleficarum,” which sounds right. I do remember those for misogyny. Our most racist episode was “Fresh Blood” because Gordon gets killed. And our 2 most homophobic episodes at 2 points each are “Bedtime Stories,” featuring our favorite, “Dude, could you get any more gay?” and “Ghostfacers,” which makes sense.

G: [laughing] "Ghostfacers" won isn't even because of the content of the episode. [both laughing] It was just because Dean was homophobic, right?

C: Yeah, though I think that the content of the episode probably was homophobic. But we thought it was too funny to give it points for that. [both laugh]

G: But damn, the- what's that? The "Bedtime Stories" really was something. [C laughs] "Dude, you're so gay. You've read books? You've watched movies? Damn. That's homosexual behavior.” [C laughing]

C: Exactly. “Real men forget the alphabet, and that's why I don't know what L-G-B-T are.” [both laugh]

And our worst episodes overall if we add up all the points are “Malleus Maleficarum,” which we gave 5 total points–3 misogyny, 1 racism, and 1 homophobia–and “Long Distance Call,” which got 2 misogyny, 2 racism and one homophobia.

Now, if we break this down on a writer standpoint- So, there are 5 writers who wrote more than one episode this season. Our most prolific writer is Sera Gamble, at 5 whole episodes.

G: Oh my god, I thought it was gonna be Jeremy Carver. He's the next, right?

C: He had 4. But yeah, Sera Gamble wrote a lot of this season. On average, she had 1.4 misogyny points, 0.8 racisms, and 0 homophobias. Thanks, Sera Gamble, for one thing.

Yeah. Next most prolific, Jeremy Carver, who gave us 1 point- Oh, who gave us 4 episodes, an average of 1.25 misogynies, half a racism, and three-fourths of a homophobia. Next we have-

G: [laughs] Love this ingredients list. [both laugh]

C: Yes. We have Ben Edlund, who wrote 3 episodes, and an average of one misogyny, two-thirds racism and one homophobia. And then we've got Eric Kripke, who wrote 2 episodes. He got 1.5 misogynies, the most misogynies on average of any writer. One racism per episode, which is also the most racisms out of any writer on average, and 0 homophobias. And finally, we have Cathryn Humphris, who wrote 2 episodes as well. Average of one misogyny, half a racism, and one homophobia, which is the highest homophobias of any writer [G laughing] except on the same level as Ben Edlund, who also had an average of one homophobia per episode. And if we add up everything, our worst writer is Ben Edlund, who had 2⅔ sins per episode. Thank you, Ben Edlund.

G: Bedlund! Damn.

C: Ugh. Every time I see him winning the Supernatural writer polls, I get so upset. [laughs] Anyway-

G: Because he's everyone's fave! Everyone likes him!

C: He is everyone's fave. Maybe he'll get better in the future. Does he?

G: Well, I mean, 'cause, you know. [laughs] Some episodes, you need homophobia to cope. [both laughing] You need homophobia to make it better, I think is the opinion of these writers. Some people need misogyny to cope.

C: So true. People do need misogyny to cope.

C: So next spreadsheet- or last spreadsheet tab is our IMDb tab.

G: Whoo! This is- I'm looking forward to this. I feel like I won this season.

C: Yeah, you won this season. You did win.

G: Of course. I mean, I've won every season, right? [laughs]

C: Yeah, you have won every season. So, this is your third win. Your streak is unbroken.

So the average IMDb score for this season was an 8.519, and on average, I was 0.331 points off, while you were on average 0.275 points off. So you did win. Congratulations!

G: Whoo!

C: You are a better IMDb guesser. However, I-

G: This is interesting. ‘Cause like, Supernatural is 8.4, right, on IMDb, like, the average.

C: Oh, okay.

G: So like, this season is better than average? Is that what we're supposed to think? Or is it it doesn't work like that?

C: Maybe? I think that it's just that I think earlier seasons are rated higher in general, probably.

G: Yeah. 'Cause like, I do wonder what season is the most- is the least highly rated.

C: Mm.

G: What's your guess? We'll figure out in like 5, 10 years, or whatever. [laughs] Honestly. 10 years? Hopefully not.

C: 15? I’m guessing-

G: You think Season 15? Because they rated the last one so low.

C: Well, I don't know. Yeah, I feel like people campaigned to try to get "Carry On" really, really low, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Are there other worse seasons?

G: But like, also Season 15 was just suck. Like, it just sucked. I don’t even know why. It sucked. [C laughs] Like, Season 14 was my favorite season of Supernatural. Like, I'm being for real when I say that. There was a point in time where I was like, a Season 14 defender. I would say that now that I'm rewatching the show from the beginning, I'm holding out on saying what my favorite season is again, but like, for a long time, I was like, “Season 14 is the most enjoyable season. I had so much fun.” And it was because there were a lot of episodes there that were like, laugh out loud because of how funny it is.

C: That's fun.

G: And it's just that kind of like, enjoyment. Because it's not like, emotional. It's just like, “Bro, this is funny.”

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: Yeah. So I love Season 14 for that. But like, Season 15 sucked ass. You can't even tell me that it's because I don't like late stage Supernatural. It's literally just because Season 15 sucked.

C: Yeah. Yeah. And you're sure it's not because Sam is balding so much [G laughs] while he looks good in Season 14?

G: Well, he had a beard in Season 14. Was that Season 14 or 13? 14.

C: Yeah, I think it was in 14.

G: Yeah. Good for him.

C: Right. Comparatively, it looked like Season 1 had a pretty low IMDb average. It had an 8.382.

G: That's interesting.

C: I think it was brought down a lot by “Bugs” and also by “Route 666.”

G: "Route 666," yeah.

C: Season 2 had 8.618, so it's higher than Season 3 by about 0.1. So that is what it looks like so far.

G: Damn.

C: Yeah. So you may have won, but I do just want to mention that I guessed 5 episodes completely correct, whereas you only guessed 2 episodes completely correct.

G: Wow. I think what really dragged you down was-

C: Was "Ghostfacers." Yes.

G: Because I withheld information. [laughs]

C: You sure did. “Ghostfacers” was my most off guess. I guessed 9. It was a 7.6. So I was 1.4 points off.

G: I guessed what? Did I guess 7.9?

C: You guesed 7.8.

G: Mm, yeah.

C: Yeah. Whereas your most off guess was for “Red Sky at Morning,” where you guessed 8.7-

G: And it was a 9.2.

C: - and the true answer was an 8, because everyone was a hater.

G: Huh? Wait, which one was 9.2?

C: The 9.2 one, "Bad Day at Black Rock."

G: It was also a Bela episode, right?

C: Yeah.

G: “Bad Day at Black Rock.” I always mistake those two for each other-

C: Yeah, same.

G: - because it's like, black/red, and a long title that doesn't make any sense to me.

C: Yes. And they're both Bela episodes. But yeah.

G: Damn.

C: So if we break this down on a writer level, Eric Kripke has the highest IMDb average, at an 8.85, followed by Sera Gamble at an 8.62, followed by Jeremy Carver at an 8.5, followed by Ben Edlund at an 8.4, and followed by Cathryn Humphris at an 8.35. I feel like she's overall not done very well in the writer competition. No, actually, in Season 2, she had- she was the second highest after Eric Kripke. So, fall from grace for Cathryn Humphris, actually.

G: What was her episodes?

C: In Season 2 or in Season 3?

G: Season 3. 3.

C: In Season 3, she wrote “Bedtime Stories,” and she co-wrote “Dream a Little Dream of Me.”

G: That's interesting. Those are not bad episodes. I mean [laughs], “Dream a Little Dream of Me” was quite something, but it wasn't like, bad.

C: "Bedtime Stories" was pretty stupid. [G laughs]

G: "Bedtime Stories"? Ohh! I thought you were talking about like, the children one. No no no, you're right. She did not do well this year. I thought you were talking about the child monsters.

C: Oh, no. That was “The Kids Are Alright.”

G: Yeah. Ben Edlund wrote "Ghostfacers," right?

C: He did write "Ghostfacers."

G: So it's interesting to me that he didn't rank last. I mean, he did write 3 more episodes after that.

C: Yeah, yeah. I think what really boosted his stats was that he wrote “Bad Day at Black Rock.”

G: Which people like! And I don't understand why they like it so much more than the other episodes. But yeah.

C: Yeah, like it was fun, but it's not that much better than the other ones.

G: Yeah. I mean, we've learned since Season 1 to not pay too much attention to-

C: The IMDbs.

G: - why people are rating. Ever since we reached “Houses of the Holy.”

C: Yes. We still have not gotten answers on that. We still don't know what happened there.

G: Yeah! Like why? I have no idea why.

C: I think I should go on archive.org and see when the shift happened. Like, I'm sure that it started out pretty high, and then one day, it started going down.

G: You want to do it now?

C: Or, do you want to do it while I read the director ratings?

G: Okay.

C: So the 4 directors that directed more than one episode are Kim Manners, who directed 4 episodes, Phil Sgriccia, who directed 3. Robert Singer directed 3 episodes, and also co-wrote an episode, “Malleus Maleficarum.” [G laughs]

G: Damn.

C: And Charles Beeson wrote- or sorry. Charles Beeson directed 2 episodes. So our highest rated director, Kim Manners at an 8.875, followed by Phil Sgriccia at an 8.5. Robert Singer, I averaged out his directing and writing episodes, so he has an 8.4 there, and Charles Beeson, least popular at an 8.3. So once more, Eric Kripke and Kim Manners are winning the IMDb vote, even if that is not correct.

Well, actually, I think last season, Robert Singer won the IMDb director vote, so I guess at least he got third place this time instead of first.

G: I think, Crystal, it's always been low. Because this one is from 2007, and it was a 7.8.

C: What? But- but why?

G: Let's see 2009. People hate this- [mocking voice] Why?

Oh, for context, this is “Houses of the Holy.” [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: We're back to- we're back to.

C: We're just still mad about it.

G: "Houses of the Holy," yeah. [laughs] We're still upset about it.

It was an 8.0 by like, 2009, and it stayed that way- let's see 2015. It was always low. Like, this one, 8.1 in like 2015. Let's see 2019. It stayed that way. It was like, it's always been around 7.8 to 8.1, and it's never- Why?

C: I don't- I don't know.

G: It's so wild to me.

C: I don't know. Is it- like, I guess people never really liked the angels storylines?

G: [laughs] Tough luck.

C: I'm- okay, I'm reading an IGN review of “Houses of the Holy” that was posted in 2009. So okay, one thing is that they said that it follows “Nightshifter,” which everyone likes so so much for some reason. So it feels like a letdown after “Nightshifter.” I don't get it. I don't know why.

G: "Nightshifter" being- [both overlapping] the episode with his best friend- [laughing]

C: - who he just let go. And Sam in a bank vault.

[laughing] I mean, pretty iconic episode in BABPod history, originating 2 of our bits, but they were both bad things.

G: Yeah.

C: Let's see. It says that it's too obvious where the story is leading.

G: Boo! I mean, that's the point. It's obvious, but Sam doesn't believe it.

C: Yeah.

G: 'Cause he wants to believe in something else!

C: He does.

G: Come on, you guys.

C: Yeah. Fucked up.

G: If true. And it is.

C: Let me see if there are any other reviews that are like, from the time.

G: [laughing] This has ceased being about Season 3 and Season 4. [both laughing] And that's okay. We're here to open up old wounds from Season 2.

C: Yeah, I just really don't- There's not any episodes that are like- There's not any reviews that are like, “This episode sucks so much that it deserves one of the lowest IMDb ratings of Season 2.” Like, they're all just like, “This was pretty good.” or “This was okay.”

G: Yeah.

C: Oh, well.

G: No idea why.

Well, that's it for our first part of the episode. Next, we'll have our Q&A. So-

C: Thank you for all of your questions that you definitely submitted. We're recording this before we've gotten any questions. [laughs]

G: [laughs] Yeah, this is like, the day that we announced the Q&A, we're recording this. But yeah. I mean, yeah. Bye.

C: We'll see you.

G: I mean, not bye. We'll say hi again.

C: You'll hear from us in two seconds.

G: Yeah. 3, 2, 1!

G: Okay, now, we're here for the Q&A!

C: Hi everyone!

G: Hi everyone.

C: Thank you for your questions.

G: Thank you for your questions. We got quite a bit. So let's start. Why don't you do the first category?

C: Okay. Well, we just have like, a comment that is not a question from Anonymous that says, “this isn't a question I'm just hyped for Cas,” 3 exclamation mark emojis, the flexing emoji, the 100 emoji, and the angel emoji. And like, you're so fucking right, anon. Thank you. We are also so hyped for Cas.

G: When that was sent to us, my first reaction was, “OMG! Cas is literally the angel emoji for real!” [both laughing] I was like, so happy to see the angel emoji for some reason, but it literally is Castiel for real, though. He would use that emoji.

C: It literally is Cas for real.

G: So the first question category is just a couple of fast questions.

C: Quick questions on Season 3, yeah.

G: Yeah. So hells-favorite asks, “Favorite Bela moment?”

C: When Dean goes, “You're not gonna shoot,” and then she shoots Sam in the shoulder.

G: Oh yeah. For me, I suppose, it's in the same scene. It comes right after Dean throws the rabbit's foot, and then she catches it, and she makes a face where she's like, “Oh, fuck my life!” [C laughs] 'Cause like, so real, girl. And also like, it's such a fun thing to do in terms of like, playing with the instincts, you know. Like you instinctually catch it, and Dean is like, “I've figured it out. I'll just mess with her in a way that she can't think." Because like, she's obviously so smart that she won't do anything stupid willingly, so let's like, play with her instincts. I think that's a fun thing to do. Yeah.

C: Yeah, I agree. And I like when Bela's a bit of a loser girl, ‘cause like, she's 24, she's young, and sometimes she is a loser girl, and that makes her cool girl moments better.

G: Exactly.

C: So, my ex-fiancee Danica asks, “Favorite Dean death in ‘Mystery Spot’?”

G: Interesting!

C: Okay, obviously the car hit is like, [both] iconic. But I'm gonna go with when Sam accidentally kills him [laughs] with a hatchet.

G: That is also my answer! Like, because they play it off as so comedic, and it's like, this is so tragic for everyone involved, especially Sam.

C: This is like, a season arc, and they have it as an off-screen joke.

G: Yeah, it's funny. Although to not copy you, I would say that my second one is the piano.

C: [laughs] Yes.

G: The “Who wants Chinese?” and then a piano falls over his head. [C laughs] So much fun, so fun. He literally is a cartoon character.

C: It's pretty good, yeah.

G: And it's just like the whole deal where they like, foreshadow it in a way with the focus on the piano. Like, I don't think you can figure it out first try what they're trying to do, but like, it makes perfect sense, and the payoff is so funny. So good for them.

C: Good for them.

G: So the next question is also from Danica. So, “Most memorable IMDb review.” Damn.

C: So many just escape my brain after we read them. I think the only one I can think of right now is the person who is like, “I figured it all out."

G: Yeah!

C: "Bela and Ruby are working together to make Sam evil, and also he's gonna kill Dean after ‘Mystery Spot.’” [laughs]

G: I mean, I think that's a pretty reasonable thing to like-

C: I think it is a pretty reasonable thing to think.

G: Yeah. I mean, why do the whole deal with “Mystery Spot” if it's not gonna end in, you know, murder? [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Fun times. You know what? For me, it's a recent one, so it's a bit of a cheat, but I really like the one where they gave it 5 over 10 without explaining any reason why. [C laughs] And the review is actually like, on the more positive side, and it's still 5 over 10. That's how I feel about Supernatural. [both laughing] Exactly.

C: Yeah. I agree.

C: So the next one is by hells-favorite again, and it's “What was your favorite case of the season?” I'm gonna look at a list.

G: I think for both- I think you're gonna agree with me about this in some way, but for me, it's either “Long Distance Call,” the case there-

C: Yes.

G: Or "The Kids are Alright."

C: Yeah, those are also my first instincts.

G: I think we already said it earlier this- Like, not this, you know, episode, but like, way back, we said it, that like, “Oh, these 2 are like super fun in the season." Especially "The Kids Are Alright" because like, creepy. It was truly so creepy, though. Like, while reading this question, I thought about it, and, like, I remembered the like drowning the kid in the lake-

C: Yeah.

G: - and then she goes back home, and the kid is home. Like, that's insane shit.

C: Yes. That was good.

G: Also, the psychological factor that plays into it of like, "Am I crazy? Am I making this up because of the grief that I'm experiencing?" Like, that can be a whole movie in and of itself. It's very good.

C: Yeah, I agree. Also, a lot of season 3 is not [both] cases.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, like I'd say, the only cases are like, those two, "Sin City," "Bedtime Stories"-

G: [laughs] "Bedtime Stories," yeah. Truly a case.

C: - the pirate ship, and then- Okay, I guess "Supernatural Christmas." But then, like- Yeah, okay, and also like, "Dream a Little Dream of Me" is a case, technically. But then I feel like everything else is just [both] plot stuff.

Yeah, I guess the "Ghostfacers" case is-

G: A case.

C: I know some people found it quite good in that like, they found it actually creepy in an episode that manages to be very comedic, so I guess I will give it that. But I think I did not find it creepy enough to give it that many points.

G: I think the benefit I will give “Ghostfacers” is that after that episode, I started listening to [singing] “it's my party, and I'll cry if I want to-”

C: It's good.

G: - and it's so much fun to listen to, and literally is my party.

C: You literally would cry too if it happened to you.

G: Exactly. I think Season 3 is such a transition episode- such a transition season. Sam went on testosterone. [both laugh] But you know, like, it's very much, Seasons 1 and 2 is a cluster. And then Season 4 and 5 is a cluster. And Season 3 feels like it's in between those 2.

C: Yeah.

G: Especially vibes-wise. Like, I'm talking like, visuals-wise, right? Like, the coloring was different this season, and also- but also the whole, like, cases are lesser, and then the plot is more plotty. But also, the characters themselves. For Dean, we start to see that hopelessness. And then, you know, that gets fully realized in Season 4 onwards. And for Sam, we start to see this like, cold-blooded nature that we start seeing furthermore in Season 4 onwards. So it really is like, it's like the end of the prequel, which I keep calling Seasons 1-3, but it really is, though. It really is, you guys. [both] It really is, though. Yeah.

Should we spoil that we already watched the first episode-

C: Oh, "Laz Rising," and that we're gonna be recording it right after this?

G: Yeah.

C: I mean, sure. Why not?

G: Yeah. So we already watched “Laz Rise.” And truly, you know, everything before this? Child's play.

C: Nothing. Dust.

G: Child's. Play. [C laughs]

Yeah. So our next question is Danica again, our biggest fan. [both laugh] “What is the most iconic episode of the season?” Ah. “Mystery Spot,” obviously. Right?

C: Okay, that is totally true, but I just didn't even think about it. [G laughs] I was thinking “Bad Day at Black Rock,” because-

G: Of Bela.

C: I feel like it has the most scenes that I've seen giffed. Yeah, Bela is iconic. I'm so glad we get to meet her then. And also, obviously Sam losing his shoe-

G: Oh yeah!

C: - is considered such a moment.

G: Yeah. “Mystery Spot” is for me the most iconic one. Like I know a lot- I think maybe we read an IMDb review of this vein where it's like, “This is the first episode that I show people when I want to get them into Supernatural,” which I think is a mistake because you're like, setting them up for disappointment. But if it works, it works.

C: Yeah. Those poor, poor people. I hope no one actually started the show because of “Mystery Spot.”

So next is from my friend Siham who [G laughs] has never listened to this podcast or watched Supernatural [laughs]-

G: But decided to send in questions anyway. Thank you, Siham!

C: She asks, “What do you feel is the most boring episode with nothing remarkable going on, and what is the most overwhelming episode with like, a lot to unpack?”

G: This is interesting for me. I don't think we have an episode this season where I went, “Oh my god, recording this is gonna be a nightmare because it's gonna be so long. Like, the recording is gonna be so long because we're just gonna talk on and on and on."

C: Yeah, I'm pulling up our episode lengths right now to help answer this question. [laughs]

G: No, but we did encounter that problem several times in Season 2 and 1 where we went like, "Okay, how are we gonna tackle this?" like before recording, we go, “How are we gonna tackle this? Because we can't just talk for 3 hours. We need to limit this shit." And like, if you listen to our Season 2 Episode 1 episode, that was back when we were still like, “We shouldn't do 2-hour-long episodes. That's too much!” Because we were still doing twice a week. If you listen to that episode, the cuts are insane. [laughing] Like, we don't explain anything towards the end of the episode, because I was like, “We gotta cut it off. We gotta cut it off.” The original cut of that episode was 3 hours long.

C: Yeah.

G: And I think with Season 3, we really didn't have that, you know? We didn't have a "We should hold ourselves back." Because nothing was like, particularly overwhelming. I think the closest to it was “Mystery Spot” where we talked about how we're gonna talk about it, because you know, the repeats are like, “How are we gonna do that?” But that's it, really. How about you? Do you feel overwhelmed about a particular episode, or do you feel the same?

C: Well, it looks like our longest episode was for “Long Distance Call,” but honestly, that's probably just because of soda. [laughs]

G: We talked about soda for so long.

C: Yeah.

G: Let me pull up our list of episodes.

C: And our shortest one this season is-

G: The Henriksen? No? I thought it was Henriksen's-

C: It's actually “Bedtime Stories" by 3 minutes, which I was gonna say is the most boring episode.

G: That is the most boring episode, yeah. Nothing happens.

C: 'Cause the case is quite nothing, and I don't remember any character moments being there.

G: Yeah, other than, you know, calling Sam gay.

C: Yeah, that is a very important character moment. So that's like the most boring episode. I don't know if “Long Distance Call” has the most going on. I feel like there's a lot to unpack in “Fresh Blood” about like, Supernatural’s general, like, moral stances on things as there is in the whole Gordon arc. But I think that requires sort of you to watch a lot of seasons of Supernatural and then come back to “Fresh Blood.” So I feel like we didn't do too much of that during our actual recording.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, I think "Mystery Spot," I think, like Sam's revenge arc is something that there's a lot to unpack there that we didn't really do, because it was just too funny when a piano fell on Dean.

G: I think an episode that we should have done better on is the last Henriksen episode, that's for sure.

C: Yeah, "Jus in Bello."

G: "Jus in Bello."

C: Yeah, but also is just a very actiony episode, like I don't know if there's too much character analysis I can think of doing in it.

G: Yeah, but you know, we should have- we could have talked about Henriksen. Which we did discuss prior. Like, “How are we going to talk about Henriksen?” And then we just didn't do it! [both laughing] RIP.

C: RIP. Well, he's gonna come back as a ghost and tell Dean how much being in Hell sucks or something, right?

G: I don't remember this!

C: Did I make this up? Is he never coming back as a ghost? Are we actually done?

G: I think we're done!

C: I just- I feel like I saw a post about Supernatural racism and so that was like, “And then Hendrickson comes back to say how tortured and miserable he is-"

G: That's Kevin, right? That's Kevin!

C: I thought it also happened to Henriksen! Does it not?

G: It doesn't happen to Henriksen! It happens to Kevin. And then he goes, “I love you guys” as he passes through the ether or whatever. [both laughing]

C: Oh my god! Wait, so we're actually never going to see Henriksen again? [laughing] I was like, "Man, it sucks that he died, but at least we're gonna see him as a ghost being so miserable." Do we actually never see him again?

G: Let's look this shit up.

C: Wait, I want to be surprised if he comes back as a ghost. You look it up for yourself.

G: Oh my god! He shows up. You're right.

C: Oh, okay. Well, we can talk about him then.

G: Yeah.

C: Watch us promise this now and then not talk about him at all

G: Real. I'm so sorry, Henriksen.

C: Sorry, Henriksen.

G: Okay. So our next category is hypotheticals. So we have- There's one hypothetical specifically that we received a lot of questions from. From maud-moon, from hells-favorite, and from-

C: Anonymous.

G: Yeah. Basically, that question is, “If Bela didn't die in this season or came back in Season 4 or, you know, other seasons, what do you imagine her role would be?” This is interesting to me, because like, I think her dying this season, is like, alright. Like, I don't feel like, “Oh, she shouldn't have died. They should have saved her.” Like, I think actually, it's in character for the Winchesters to be like this. [laughs] And I feel like the better thing to do is to bring her back, you know, not like, not make her die. Because it serves a point in the story, having her die. If we're looking at it from the perspective of “This is a Sam and Dean story,” ‘cause, like, you know, before Dean, somebody else died so like, “Oh, okay, Dean is also dying for real.” Like it cements that heavier, better, you know.

For her individually, for her as a character, I think her dying, you know. Sometimes you need to die to be better. [laughing] That's what I feel. No, I'm just kidding. But like, you know, like, I think that that can be something that can easily be explored in future episodes. Because, like, you know, the guilt, in a way, of killing her parents, even though it was justified. But like, the guilt coming from a place of, “I had to suffer for it anyway, so like, what was the point?” I think that could have been interesting. Stuff like that.

You, what are your thoughts on Bela dying?

C: I feel like from a writer's perspective, Bela’s role in season 3 is some plot armor to like, provide them with case-solving stuff and also as a Dean foil/Dean mirror in terms of like, his deal with Hell, and also like, his relationship with his family, and general moral attitudes towards things. So I feel like, yeah, it makes sense that she died. I mean, I guess they also could have- if they like, figured out some way to save her to like, give them false hope that Dean could be saved, that could also work for her character in Season 3.

G: Oh, interesting.

C: So I don't think she had to die, but I think that it also does make sense for her to die.

Yeah, or I mean, if the Colt trade just worked also, right? Like maybe trading her freedom for the Colt would have just worked. And then, like. Yeah, I don't know, like they would be like, “How do we figure out a trade to get Dean out of his deal?” or “That means we could have traded the Colt to get Dean out of his deal, but because Bela stole it, she's the one who got the benefit,” which I mean, I feel like would just end with more of them being mean to her, though.

G: Coming back. Let's talk about Bela coming back.

I just had this visual thought about like, you know how Eileen comes back for Sam? But like, it's Bela, and she's like, “Hi, Sam,” and it's Sambela endgame, which I think is such a funny thought. [C laughs] Like, imagine picking someone from like way back in Season 3 to be like, “And this is Sam's endgame.” Supernatural would do it.

C: Yeah, Supernatural would.

G: I'm glad they picked Eileen instead.

C: Oh, are we choosing to believe that Eileen was blurry wife? Or-

G: I mean, okay.

C: Or are we ignoring blurry wife?

G: [laughs] The ending of Supernatural is not real to me. Like, I hate to be a denier because I am a firm believer that, like, you have to accept Supernatural for what it is. Supernatural is like your daughter, who is, you know, kind of a fuck-up-

C: A Republican?

G: But you have to love her anyway. [laughing] Yeah.

C: Okay, yeah. So okay, wait. So when you say Bela coming back the way Eileen did, do you mean that she doesn't come back as a demon, she comes back as a ghost?

G: I think that would be interesting. I think her coming back as a ghost would be interesting. Because I think it would be super cool if she was, you know, a spirit. And then, since she knows so much about how spirits work, just like, find her own way back to her, like back to life. I think that would be super super super cool. But then the demon thing, I've seen a lot of that around like on posts and shit like, “What if Bela came back as a demon?” I think it's interesting.

C: You make a good point about her connection to spirits. She's talked to so many ghosts with her ouija board. Do you think she's like, friends with any of them? Would they like, hang out as ghosts?

G: Oh my god, they're gonna hang out at Costco. Like, for real.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: Why is my first thought “hang out at Costco”? I've never been. Is it like a membership shopping place? Am I right?

C: It is a membership shopping place. But what you do is that you stand near the door until an Asian family walks by and you walk in with them. [laughs] And then the person at the door just assumes you're in a group.

G: Real.

C: Yeah, I mean, hanging out at Costco, I haven't done with anyone except I guess my sister. But it is a fun place to be. It's so big.

G: So big.

C: But- right, wait. Why did you ask about the membership thing if, like, ghosts- that wouldn't be an issue for ghosts. [laughing] It's not like they would stop Bela at the door?

G: They'd put salt at the door so like only people with cards and living spirits can enter

C: Real.

Yeah. So okay, Bela coming back as a demon I think is interesting in the way that like, if she's trying to like, continue to be a Dean foil or Dean mirror. Like, “This is what would have happened if Cas didn't save you from Hell because you were already torturing people.” You wouldn't become like her. But I feel like that requires her as a demon to be somewhat 2D, which I'm not too interested in. I feel like- Okay, I mean, okay, Bela and Ruby were in the same season in Season 3, but they were never in the same episode because I feel like they decided that they were maybe like, too similar.

G: Separate, yeah.

C: Yeah. So I don't know if Season 4 has room for like another snarky demon besides Ruby. Like, Sam gets his demon and Dean gets his. I have no clue. So I feel like I'm more interested in her coming back in like, maybe seasons after Season 4 the way that Meg comes back after they kill Ruby, you know. As like, I don't know what kind of figure I want her to be, though. Like, I enjoy the idea of her just coming back to get revenge. But I feel like the only way for her to last longer than like, 2 episodes is for her to end up being an ally figure, anyway, which, being an antagonistic ally figure was already her role in Season 3.

I think the world where Bela doesn't die in Season 3 is interesting, in that if Sam and Dean helped her not die, maybe this is the road to like her actually being their friend with no strings attached.

G: Are you talking like she's gonna become a hunter-esque?

C: I don't think she's gonna become a hunter. But I think that-

G: She's gonna be like their Crowley.

C: Yeah, sure. Like, yeah, some of they sometimes call on for help.

G: Their Rowena!

C: Yeah. Oh, true. Yeah. It is sad that we can only think of ways for her to help Sam and Dean, though. Because it's the Sam and Dean Show.

G: I would love to see Rowena and Bela meet. Like, I feel like they would get along. Do you think they would? Maybe Bela is too British [both laugh] for Rowena, but you know.

C: Maybe. I'd like to think they get along.

G: Yeah.

C: I guess also thinking about a future for Bela, it's more "What does she like about her job and what does she want out of life?"

G: Yeah. ‘Cause like, prior to this, she was, you know, thinking short-term.

C: Yeah, exactly. Like, she only had 10 years. So she was like, “I'm gonna get rich and live luxuriously, and I'm going to like, solve everything by myself and not depend on other people, because I don't have too long to live anyway, and also, like, being independent is the only thing that saved my life so far.” But like, if she comes back as like a demon, or like, just doesn't die, she has either eternity or dozens of more years to live, and it's like, does she still want to do her job? I think she likes her job, but I’m not sure what she likes about her job. And she also has enough money to retire if she wants.

G: Oh my god, yeah.

C: Or do like, anything else. And I feel like I don't know enough about what she likes and what she wants to know what she would do. But I think the story of like, “You thought you were only gonna live until you were 24, and now you're facing down eternity, and you don't know what you want anymore.” is interesting, and if she was a main character of Supernatural, like, would have enjoyed to see it.

C: So our next question, Danica asks: “Do you think it would be more narratively interesting if Gordon or Bela came back to life in Season 4?” So-

G: Well, we just talked about the Bela stuff.

C: Yeah. The thing is, Gordon's going to fucking Purgatory, right?

G: Do you think it would be interesting if, like, Dean meets him in Purgatory?

C: Oh, like in Season 8? Huh. The thing is like, not unless they decide that he went through a lot of character development in Purgatory. [laughs] 'Cause I think or else it's just going to be, “Dean kills that guy.”

G: Yeah, it's gonna be a repeat. It's just gonna be a repeat of what we already saw. The thing is, I don't really know how they're gonna do Gordon's character if he is to come back. What I see really, if we're going to talk about it, you know, it's really Bela or Henriksen that's like, have a lot of promise, I feel, in terms of like bringing them back. But Gordon. he's gonna need a lot of character development, and it's not gonna be on-screen.

C: Yeah. And I think I'm more like the idea of him just not dying in “Fresh Blood” and like, somehow, him being turned into a vampire shaking up his worldview enough that like, he like goes off by himself and, like, I don't know, meditates, or some shit. [laughs] Or joins Lenore.

G: Yeah. That was the opportunity for a change of heart. But they passed that by. Yeah, they didn't do it. So I don't think that's particularly gonna be interesting.

G: Okay. So our next question is again from Danica. So, “Do you think this season would have been better if there wasn't a writer’s strike and in a similar vein, do you think you would have preferred Kripke’s original ending for this arc? AKA Sam agreeing to be King of Hell or whatever.”

C: Yes, it would have been better if there were more episodes for Bela's arc.

G: Yes, I agree.

C: But I also like that they had to make Sam's demon blood arc all of Season 4 instead of like, the last half of Season .3

G: Yeah.

C: Like, that is a full season arc to me.

G: Yeah. I think this season would have been better if there was just like, 2 more episodes. But like, I'm not thinking of a full season length still. I think they wrote an okay story for what they have, and the 2 more episodes would have been okay. Again, I like to think of Supernatural as a child who I love no matter what. Like, not love. Accept. [both laugh] Those are different things. I accept no matter what, you know? So like, I accept Supernatural for who she is and what she is and all that shit. So I think longer season, yes, but same arc. Same everything. It ends the same.

C: Yeah, yeah, that man should definitely get torn to shreds.

I do- okay, Sam becoming King of Hell, I don't really know how Kripke wanted to pull that off. It is like, conceptually interesting to me, but I don't know what they'd do in the next season.

G: It's a very different story. It's gonna be a very different story.

C: Yeah.

G: So our next category are fun questions! So we got a couple of kiss marry kills, fuck marry kills. One is from anon, so, "Kiss marry kill. Crowley, Rowena, and Meg." I'm gonna kill Crowley. Obviously. [C laughs] I'm a hater, through and through.

C: Yeah. That man is dying. Okay, other two, I know there's an obvious answer, but I think I could fix Meg! [laughs] I think I could marry and fix Meg.

G: You can marry her and fix her? Good for you. You know what, since you're marrying her, I'm going to marry Rowena.

C: Yes. good.

G: Because obviously, for me. I feel like we could be a power couple. I could be one of her like, demonic henchmens.

C: Oh, like one of the guys who like, makes a human chair or whatever.

G: Yeah. Like, I could be her booty-shorted man in Hell. [C laughing] I literally could.

C: You could be one of her boytoys.

G: I can wear booty shorts that say "boytoy" in the back. [C laughs] I'll do it for her.

C: I don't know Rowena as well as you know Rowena. I feel like she's one of those characters who is very iconic, but I actually don't know much about her personality, so it's possible that after I meet her I'll change my mind. But yeah, I believe that I could fix Meg.

G: There's no need to fix Rowena. Rowena's fine. I love her for who she is.

C: Yeah. Yeah, I probably will also.

G: Yeah.

C: Our next fuck marry kill is from hells-favorite, and the options are Rufus, Ed "Ghostfacers," and Casey from “Sin City.” Okay, I think this one's obvious, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Kill Ed, marry Rufus, and fuck the girl demon from “Sin City.”

G: Yeah. Yeah! I mean, girl demon- I think her name's Casey.

C: Yeah, yeah, her name's Casey.

G: Wow! I remembered that. Look at us! Look at me. But like, Casey, I'd give her a little peck on the cheek, and I'll say, “Good luck, buddy.”

C: Yeah.

G: I'll kill Ed.

C: Because she's got her thing with the priest going on, apparently. That came out of nowhere.

G: Yeah, she's fucking a priest. Yeah, they're Fleabag-ing it out in the window.

And I would say I'll marry Rufus, but I do not expect it to be a particularly good marriage. I feel like he's so mad about the things that have happened in his past, rightfully so, but I am young, and I want to explore the world. [both laugh] Maybe I should marry the girl demon in "Sin City," and I could be her priest boyfriend, and we could explore the world together.

C: That's a good point. I guess, I mean, I'm fine with being married but somewhat separated from Rufus. We can hang out on the weekends.

G: Real.

C: But you're right that currently, he's living in a state of social isolation, born out of like general fear from hunting. So it would- it would maybe be difficult. But, like I don't know. Maybe we could manic pixie dream girl him.

G: Yeah!

C: Maybe being young and wanting to explore all parts of life will bring like, charm back into his life. Who knows?

G: Exactly. Who knows?

G: Our next question is again from hells-favorite. “So Dean gets a dog in the finale, as you know, but some fans think he should have gotten a cat. He's way more of a cat person, and I’ll die on that hill. He doesn't even like dogs.” Good for you, hells-favorite. "What pet would you guys give Dean?"

G: I agree with you.

C: I'm also anti-dog. Like, he was torn to shreds by hellhounds and I feel like he'd still have trauma about that.

G: He literally was torn to shreds. I've seen people say, or maybe I didn't see people say this, I just made it up in my head and then got angry about it, that it's like, "It's a symbolism of him breaking free from like, the trauma of his past." [C laughs] I think I just made that up to be mad at. But, like I do not agree. I think it's stupid, and I don't think he likes dogs at all. But like, who knows? He likes dogs in “Dog Dean Afternoon.”

C: [laughing] "Dog Dean Afternoon"! So true.

G: My favorite. My favorite episode.

C: Yeah- cats? Well, at least the one thing we know about Dean is that he would not be an outdoor cat person, which is good. Because he'd be like, “Oh my god, you're leaving me, just like everyone else leaves me?” It wouldn't be about the safety of the birds in his neighborhood. It would just be about him still being mad that Sam went to college. So at least he would not be one of those people who let their cats out.

I don't know if he's more of a cat person. I think, okay, we talked about this briefly before the recording, and Grey, you said that the first step of Dean getting a pet is to get out of the bunker first.

G: For sure, though, yeah. Get them out of that bunker.

C: Yeah. Those animals need some amount of natural light. And then I referenced a fic idea that you had that you never wrote about Cas trying to take care of a tomato plant in the bunker, and then it dying, and him having a breakdown. And like, yeah, that is, whatever would happen to any pet in the bunker.

G: Yeah.

C: I don't know animals Dean would like. I think well, Cas has mentioned wanting a cat and a hamster. So I think that he should get either of those things for the- or, not a hamster. A guinea pig.

G: I quite like the idea of Dean- 'cause like, if we think about it, it's like, the car is his pet, you know?

C: The car is his girlfriend.

G: Ugh. [C laughs] I mean, sure whatever.

C: But sure, yeah, the car is his pet.

G: The car is his pet. But like, I like to think that maybe Dean would benefit from like- Okay, here's the thing. The dog thing, maybe not a big dog. Maybe that's gonna be my thing. Like, not a big dog. It's like a tiny dog, a shi tzu, or like, I don't know. A scared chihuahua that he needs to be gentle with. I quite like the idea of Dean having a pet that he can't be rough with or he can’t read the way you read humans.

C: Yeah.

G: Because I feel like in a character development point of view, that would be pretty good for him. You know what I mean?

C: Yeah.

G: Like, to be able to look at an animal and admit to himself that, like, “I don't know what's going on in this thing’s mind, and I'm gonna try to figure it out," instead of, you know, "I know what you want.” Because dogs are super expressive, and they're the baseline kind of pet, right, you know? Like if you look online, how to blah blah blah with dogs, you'll get answers immediately. But like, with a pet that's a little bit more obscure, he'll have to put in more effort to understand and take care of said pet, and I think that will be good for him.

C: Yeah. I agree.

So our next question is from Danica again. And she asks, “If you were Lucifer’s spoiled little princess, how would you rest and relax?”

G: I tried to put myself in the mindset of evil for this question, [C laughs] and I literally can’t. Like, I feel so bad. What am I going to do? Kill people? Kill animals? That's so sad. [C laughs]

C: I mean, you wouldn't have to. You could just mess with them.

G: I think I would terrorize a billionaire.

C: Yeah. That would be fun.

G: Just one. I mean, maybe all of them. But you know.

C: I- yeah. Huh. I possess Misha Collins and make him come out as straight again. [G laughs] No.

G: God.

C: This is an incredibly boring answer. I'm sure there are way more fun ways to take advantage of being a demon, but all I can think of is like, possessing random celebrities and having them say wack shit, so. This question is not for boring people.

G: I think if I was a super spoiled little princess and I'm going on a vacation, I'll just go on a regular-ass vacation, except I don't have to pay for anything. Like, that would be my only thing that I do.

C: Yeah. Good point.

G: Yeah. Oh my god, we have a question for me! From maud-moon that's quite unrelated to Supernatural, but I'm so so so happy somebody asked. So, “This next question is just for Grey. Who's your favorite Ace Attorney character from the original trilogy series?” And they mentioned that they're saying original trilogy, because they already know that I like Shi-Long Lang, who is from Ace Attorney: Investigations 1 and 2, Prosecutor's Path. Yes! [C laughs] That's my promo for the day. I would say original trilogy, I haven't played the original trilogy in like 10 years, or something stupid. Like, it's been so long. But if we're talking main line, so like, original trilogy, plus the 3 other mainline games after that, it's Klavier Gavin. Crystal, do you know this person?

C: You've sent me various images of him while like, lusting.

G: No! [laughs] I was not lusting. I think I was making fun of his-

C: He says "action." What does he say?

G: "Achtung." Or I don't know. I don't know how to pronounce it. I think it's "Achtung." "Achtung, baby!" It's like "attention" in German.

Yeah. He's my favorite. He's my fave. And I just like it when men are attractive and have a thing. Like, Shi-Long Lang is like a werewolf wannabe, and Klavier is a rockstar. I like it when they have things going on for them. And that's not really much of a thing in mainline, original trilogy. Although when I was young, I really liked Franziska. That kind of faded over time. I guess, like, when you grow old, the characters that you end up liking also grow in age. Do you find that true for you? I mean, obviously, when you're a kid, you look up to people who are closer to your age, right?

C: That's true. Yeah.

G: And then, like Franziska, I think, was like 17 when her first game, or 18 or something, and I had such a massive crush on her. Like, so big. I was in love with her. And I was defending- like, she has a whip, and she whips people, and people were like, "Oh, that's abusive. Physical violence is bad." And I was out there defending her. Like, "Can't women do anything?" I literally [C laughing] was fighting for my fucking life defending her. I was so right, though, and she was my favorite in the original trilogy. Maybe I should replay it so I can answer this question better, you know.

C: Just to answer this question, yeah.

G: Just to answer this question. Among other things.

C: Okay, so we have a question from hells-favorite, which is very sweet, and it's, "Me and my girlfriend met through Supernatural fandom, and we live together. Our second anniversary is coming up, and I have no idea what to do for it. What should I give my girlfriend for our anniversary?"

G: Yeah. You know, this is the question that we talked the most about, [laughing] and up until now, we still don't know what to say. What I said was related to a question that I answered in the previous Q&A where I said that I like my Supernatural Dean Winchester ring because it's my dad's ring, and I wear it on the finger Dean wears his mom's ring. So it's like a Supernatural thing, but also a family thing. So I think doing something that's related to your common interest, which is Supernatural, but also like, coming from a personal place would be very nice. You know, something like that.

C: Yeah. And I could not think of anything.

G: Oh my god, I just thought of an excellent one.

C: Okay.

G: 'Cause they said what to do. So this is not like, a gift, but like, something to do, right? Why don't you go on a road trip? If you're like, I don't know, if you're from the United States, that would be fun, right? A Supernatural thing? [laughs] You go on a road trip?

C: Driving a car is such a good Supernatural reference, you guys. [G laughing]

G: Maybe get a Chevy, and, like, you know, "driving around in my '67 Chevy" or something. However that song goes.

C: Oh, yeah, the one about Dean Winchester, yeah.

G: No, no! The "Night Moves" song. You don't know your Baby lore.

C: Oh. Sorry, I do not.

Yeah, I don't know. I do agree that experiences can be more fun than items, in which case- I don't know. I feel like concert tickets are like kind of basic, though. I don't know what one gets a girlfriend of 2 years.

G: Yeah. Never been [laughs], never been in that situation, unfortunately. [C laughing]

C: Nor I, so. Yeah, okay, I think a gift that I really like was my ex-fiancee, for one of my birthdays, she got me like a planner, but in it, she had like, written like, on each day of the calendar, where, like we had like a a fun conversation, or something she like, wrote it down, so it was like a look back at like, the last few years that we had together as friends, and it had a lot of sentimental value-

G: That is adorable.

C: - so I guess something like that could also be fun, but you have to Venmo $200 first. [laughs]

G: For the idea.

C: [laughs] Yeah. But I don't know, also, if you had like specific things that coincided with like, maybe Supernatural episodes? Like, "Oh, this episode aired on this day, and like, there's like this specific memory that I have, or this specific thing that I like about you that's related to the episode-"

G: That's fun!

C: You could write it on the day that that episode aired.

G: Yeah, you could do Stackednatural, but like romantic. [C laughs] Not like watch Supernatural-

C: [laughs] God.

G: But like, you know, the the journal thing. Yeah. Semi-related, but like I gave someone a gift once where I folded like, I think, like, a hundred origami stars and put them in a jar, and like every star, if you pop it open and unfold it is like, a memory that we have together-

C: Aww.

G: - or like a message that I have for you, or a song recommendation, or whatever. And, like my best friend still has that jar in her room, and she still opens them when she's upset. Which is like, super cute, right?

C: Aw. That is really nice, yeah.

G: Yeah, that one's nice. I don't know how to connect it to Supernatural, though. So, unfortunate.

C: Fold all the stars out of printed photos of Castiel.

G: [laughing] You just open it and it's just a picture of Cas!

C: It's just Cas.

G: Yeah, it's to cheer you up.

C: Exactly.

G: Yeah. Okay, for our last question. So last season, we had an anon who asked us about like, what we're looking forward to, and we didn't know how to interpret it, so they clarified it, and like, basically what they're asking is, "What are you looking forward to in general in Supernatural?" Not just like, per season, but like, in general.

C: And this is the anon who warned us that Season 3 would suck-

G: And they were right.

C: - and I do think about that message often.

G: They were so right. Like, so real. Well obviously, I look forward to Cas. But he's here, baby! He's here. And other than that, I think I'm really looking forward to a lot of the levity that future Supernatural has. I like it when TV shows are funny. And that's really really weird, considering that I hate it sitcoms. I truly do. But I like it when shows are funny! So, you know, I want Supernatural to be funny.

C: I'm looking forward to Jack. I'm looking forward to Mary coming back eventually, and like, whatever like myth-shattering is going to happen there. And I also feel like I know like, Dean and Cas's plot lines for later seasons, but not so much Sam's. So just meeting late seasons Sam, I'm looking forward to that.

G: Yeah.

C: Okay, wait. Usually, at end of each season wrap up, we try to rate- we try to order the seasons like based off quality, right? Like, last time, we said Season 2 is worse than Season 1, right?

G: Season 3 is below everything. [laughs]

C: Yeah, probably. I don't remember exactly how I felt about Season 2.

G: Well, we didn't feel too good about Season 2.

C: Yeah, I feel like I did not like Season 2.

G: The thing about Season 2 is it started off strong, and then it slowly wavered to like, a fizzle. But like, Season 3 started out bad and ended up okay, but like, still bad.

C: Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm thinking about it a bit more, and I think I agree with you. I think that so far, Season 1's the best, followed by Season 2, followed by Season 3.

G: Yeah. Okay! So that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 1 [C screams]: "Lazarus Rising." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thank you to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, and check out our Redbubble merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at our email, [email protected]. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript

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deancaskiss · 3 years

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the more you love a memory

Wow, here we finally are! Here is my ‘Regarding Dean’ fic where Cas comes into the episode and Dean falls in love with him all over again! This has been such a journey, and I want to thank my amazing betas @googolplexicon and @wtfevenisausername for being my lifesavers and helping me every step of the way! I’m so excited to share this with yall and hope yall enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it!

Word Count: 15.2k

Summary:

"I think it is all a matter of love: the more you love a memory, the stronger and stranger it is." - Vladimir Nabokov

Castiel knows Dean will never fall in love with him, no matter how long he pines for him. But when a witch curses Dean to lose his memory and Cas is called in to help, Dean starts flirting with him. Cas tries to focus on the case, he really does, but he’s caught up in the whirlwind of feelings Dean is stirring up. When he steps into a diner to pick up a bacon cheeseburger, milkshake, and a slice of pie for Dean, he gets taken by the Loughlins instead, leaving Dean alone in the cold.

Dean doesn’t remember the beautiful man with the bright blue eyes, but he’s warm and smells like Heaven, and his voice is deep like gravel road under tires. When the pretty man says, “I’m Cas. I’m your best friend,” Dean’s inclined to believe him, but there’s something else there: a fluttering in his chest, a gravitational pull.

“Are we dating?” No, but I wish we were.

Read the first section below the cut, and check out the rest of the fic on ao3!

Cas

“Hey, Cas. It’s Sam. Listen we uh, we need your help.”

Cas swerved onto the side of the road, shutting the engine of his truck off and snatching his phone from the cup holder. Something in Sam’s voice sent a shiver of worry down Cas’ spine. The search for Kelly Kline could wait. “Sam, what’s going on?”

“Something’s happened to Dean. It started with him disappearing last night and coming back with his phone broken. We thought it was just a drunk night out,” Sam said, and Cas winced. He couldn’t remember the last time Dean had gone out like that. Most nights they were in the bunker, Dean invited Cas to watch movies with him until Dean inevitably fell asleep on the couch and Cas tugged a blanket over him and quietly read beside him. They were Cas’ favorite moments of the day; when he could curl up on the couch next to Dean and share a bowl of popcorn and pretend for a couple hours it was a movie date night. Not that that was important right now. “But something’s wrong, Cas. We think Dean’s been cursed. I just called Rowena-”

“You called Rowena?” Cas blinked in surprise. Why would Sam call Rowena before he called him? Sure, Rowena could be useful sometimes, but she was unreliable and only out for herself; the complete opposite of Cas, who would do anything to protect Dean and the rest of his family.

“It’s a witch's curse. Or at least that’s our working theory. Listen, I called Rowena for the spell help, but I don’t trust her. And Dean’s- Dean’s getting worse.”

The tug in Cas’ gut exploded into a burst of fear and nausea. “Worse? What do you mean, worse?”

There was a deep breath on the other end of the line, and then a door snicking shut as Sam stepped out of a room. “He’s losing his memory.”

Cas’ knuckles turned white from his grip on the steering wheel. “He’s what?”

Sam sucked in another breath, before letting it out in a broken sound. “It started out small, you know. Forgetting details about the case we were working on and not remembering which key was for the Impala. Then he momentarily forgot his name and-” Sam broke off, and Cas felt his stomach lurch again. “I’ve been labeling everything around the room with post-it notes because he couldn’t even remember what a lamp was. Rowena thinks it’s some kind of curse that will make him slowly forget everything about himself until he dies.”

Cas’ mouth suddenly felt like the Sahara desert, and he swallowed thickly. “What can I do?” he rasped out, hand tightening around his phone until it creaked in his grasp.

“I need you here. Rowena’s on her way, but I just don’t think that’s going to be enough. Someone needs to be able to watch over Dean if we have any hope of breaking the spell, and I want him to be around someone he feels safe with. And you’re his best friend, you know? If there’s anyone he might remember or at least feel comfortable around, it’s you.”

Something inside Cas’ chest ached. Ached so deeply it felt like he was shattering. He was supposed to protect Dean. And where was he when Dean had gotten cursed? What was he doing when Dean needed him? He was too busy in another state, handling a different case. He should’ve been there. All he could do was nod numbly at Sam’s words. Because he knew. If they couldn’t end the spell, Dean was going to die.

No.

Cas wouldn’t let that happen. He had saved Dean so many times. He could do it again. What was one more miracle, right? Even if he was a broken angel, he could save Dean’s life one more time.

“Where? Tell me where you are,” Cas said, already turning the ignition.

Cas could barely hear Sam’s voice as the engine roared to life. “Eureka Springs. Arkansas. Until you and Rowena get here, we’re gonna retrace Dean’s steps from yesterday to see if we can find the witch who cast the spell. Cas just- get here quick.”

There was that tone again in Sam’s voice. The one that had every wavelength of Cas’ being thrashing with panic. Not his Dean. Not today.

“I’ll be there by tonight,” Cas said, hanging up and immediately spinning the steering wheel until the tires screeched across the pavement. That had to be enough time. Please let there be enough time.

Being too late was not an option.

~~~

[Read the rest on ao3!]

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aoitrinity · 4 years

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Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

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holylulusworld · 3 years

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Slumber party

Request: Hey so I know it sounds a bit ridiculous, haha but just imagine Sam and Dean coming back from a hunt to find you have a slumber party with Jess and all the other girls from Supernatural? Jo, Ellen, Charlie, Rowena.. can you imagine 😍

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader, Sam Winchester x Jess Moore

Characters: Rowena MacLeod, Meg Masters, Bela Talbot, Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Claire Novak, Alex Jones, Donna Hanscum, Jody Mills, Charlie Bradbury

Warnings: getting drunk, games, talk about sex, awkward situations, implied smut

A/N: For my story everyone is alive.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

“Alright, who’s next?” Charlie spins the bottle, grinning at you when it points at you once again. “Aw, look! It’s Y/N’s turn again. Now, truth or dare?”

“Charlie, this is not how the game is played! And why does the bottle always point at me? This is five times in a row!” you complain. “I wanna have more drinks, food, and play another game.”

“No, we want to play truth or dare Bela style,” Bela smirks, handing you another margarita. “My recipe, babe. You won’t get drunk but feel like you are walking on air.”

“You are the devil,” looking around the library you narrow your eyes. “All of you are evil.”

“I don’t know about the others,” Rowena coos, patting your thigh, “but I used to be a bad girl, my dear. Now, truth or dare.” The witch sits next to you on a large pillow, joining the circle once again.

“Truth or dare,” Alex and Claire singsong. “And drinks for all of us!” the girls longingly look at the margarita in your hand. “Please?”

“No drinks for you, kiddos,” you sip at your next drink, letting the too-sweet liquid run down your throat. “You are twenty, Claire. One more year, sweetie.”

“Only one,” Claire complains. “Please, Jody? Maybe at least a beer? All of you got drinks all night long.”

“Nope,” Jody pops the p, smirking as both girls sigh deeply. “Next year you can have as many drinks as you want to at our annual sleepover at the bunker.”

“Wait, that’s the first sleepover at the bunker,” Jess snickers when you whip your head toward Jody. “I mean, we can do it again when the guys are out of town to not disturb our party.”

“We should do this every weekend,” Charlie raises her glass. “I usually don’t drink that much, but this is fun.”

“Uh-huh. You only enjoy seeing us all in our pajamas, young lady,” Donna nods her head knowingly. “I bet you like my cute ass the most.”

“Oh, I don’t have a favorite yet,” Charlie lets her eyes wander, checking all of your friends out. “Nah, we are friends. I can’t get into your pants.”

“Why?” Bela asks, handing another drink to Rowena. “We are all friends and, I kissed a girl more than once.” She smirks at Jess. “I bet little miss sunshine over there had her fair share of dirty kisses with girls too.”

“How do you wanna know?” Jess grunts. “I am the kiss and not tell kind of girl, Ms. Talbot. If you want to know more about my dirty experiences, you need to mix me a lot more margaritas, lady.”

“I bet Samuel and you’ve got dirty and kinky sex. He doesn’t carry handcuffs and ropes around only for hunting purposes I assume,” Rowena raises her glass, snickering at Jess’s pained expression. “I knew he’s a kinky man.”

“Rowena, can you just not,” you whisper. “You know Jess doesn’t like to talk about her sex life and, I live here too. I can never face Sam again if I get to know more about his preferences in the bedroom than I already know.”

“Oh, you know things?” now Meg scoots closer to poke your thigh. “Details. NOW! I need to know everything. Maybe I can use a trick or two on Castiel.”

“Ladies, don’t we have a round of truth and dare to play?” Ellen walks into the library, carrying a large bowl of popcorn. “It was Y/N’s turn, wasn’t it?”

“Mom, where is the good stuff? Didn’t we buy more chips?” Jo rummages in one of the bags, cursing under her breath. “Who stole my stuff?”

“Sorry,” munch. Charlie shrugs when the blonde gives her a dirty look. “I didn’t know it was your stuff. I got hungry after three margaritas. What can I say?”

“There is more in the kitchen, Jo. Chips, ice cream, sweets, chocolate. Whatever your heart desires,” now Bela giggles as Rowena exclaims Jo wants a big dick, not food.

“Rowena!”

“What? I can sense her frustration,” the red-head shrugs. “Now, back to the game. Y/N, what will you choose this time? Dare again?”

“Truth,” you grumble. “But lemme down my drink first. I can’t answer one more question about my life without another drink.”

“Cheers to that,” Donna raises her glass. “May all of our sleepovers be blessed with booze, food, and light conversations. May we all be still alive at our next slumber party.”

“Amen to that,” Meg nods, giving Donna a pained smile.

“Bitch, give me another drink,” you slur. “Now, Bela. Hurry or you’ll never be our bartender again, babe.”

“Alright,” Charlie claps her hands, waiting for everyone to join the circle on the floor again. “Y/N, did you already have sex with Dean?”

You choke on your drink, coughing as everyone looks at you, expectantly.

“Come on, spill it. I have a dry spell for months,” Jo complains.

“You will not have sex before you turn thirty-five,” Ellen warns, pointing her index finger at Jo. “I mean it, Joanna Beth.”

“Back to Y/N and Dean,” Meg insists. “So, did you ride his dick? Can his cock keep up with his cocky attitude? I always wondered if the rumors about Dean’s stamina are true.”

“Is he thick?” Bela wants to know. “Come on, girl. Don’t leave us hanging. We all need juicy details.”

“Guys, I didn’t—I mean Dean and I are friends only. He—he doesn’t see me that way. Uh—Dean would never make a move,” you answer honestly. “Why would he? We are buddies, ya know.”

“Nonsense,” Jess interjects, sipping on her third margarita. “Dean eye-fucks you every time he gets the chance to. Friends don’t strip your clothes off with their eyes and imagine you writhe on their cock. I bet he imagines railing you like there is no tomorrow.”

Everyone looks at Jess with wide eyes. The blonde usually hold back when it comes to sex, but now she shrugs, giving you a smirk. “If he’s only a little bit like Sam, you are in for a wild ride, babe. He’ll fuck you so good.”

“Jess,” gasping you watch your friend talk about her sex life with Sam, Dean being into you and Bela’s margaritas. “How do you wanna know?”

“I have eyes?” she says. “Oh-there he is. SAMMY!” she jumps up, to run toward Sam and Dean who, walk into the library, guns aimed.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Dean exclaims, securing his gun when his eyes land on you and the girls sitting on the floor, drinking and joking. “I thought we got intruders. WAIT! Did you plan a slumber party?”

“Kinda,” smiling sheepishly at Dean you try to hide you and the girls planned the sleepover for months. “We thought we could exchange information and have a few drinks.”

“Why don’t you stay?” Jess whines, tugging at Sam’s wrist. “Come on, baby. We can have a few drinks and play games. We got food too.”

“Aw, I wanna braid his hair,” Charlie jumps up to help Jess drag the tall hunter toward you and the others. “Can we Sammy? Please.”

“They are drunk,” the elder brother grunts, smirking when you get up to offer a slice of pizza to the hunter. “But they got nice food and drinks.”

“Will ya join us too, Deanie?” already dragging the hunter toward your large pillow, giggling as he mutters under his breath you feel your heart flutter. “You can sit with me, Dean. The pillow is big enough for the both of us.”

“Look who’s about to cuddle,” Charlie says, watching Dean awkwardly sit down on your pillow, legs spread wide.

“Shut up, Charlie, and braid Sam’s hair. I’ve got this,” you slump down onto the pillow to sit between Dean’s legs.

“Whoa, careful there,” Dean grunts when you rest your back against his chest. You pat his thighs, sighing as he’s warm and smells too good. “Y/N?”

“Shush, just watch Charlie braid Sam’s hair,” you watch Claire, Charlie, and Alex fight over Sam’s hair. “Aw, he will look so pretty. WAIT! We can style your hair too, Dean.”

“Over my dead body, sweetheart. Now, what are we playing?” he asks, looking around the library. “When did you get all the stuff in here? We were gone for like a day.”

“Teamwork, Winchester,” Jo wildly gestures around the room. “We are capable of so many things.”

“I can see that,” Sam grunts. “Jess, a little help here, babe?”

“Nah, let them have fun.”

“Truth or dare! Truth or dare!” Meg snickers when you throw her an angry look. “Y/N was about to tell is if you already fucked.”

“Jess said,” Bela slurs, “you eye-fucked Y/N like insane or something. I forgot.” She sits next to Charlie to watch the others braid Sam’s hair.

“Tell us, Dean!” the girls begin to chant. Jody and Donna stay out of the discussion. They smile to themselves as Dean awkwardly wraps one arm around your waistline, stopping you from grinding your ass into his growing erection.

“That is enough,” Dean raises his voice. “Alright. You will all brush your teeth now, drink water and look for a bed. Just not mine. I will take care of Y/N. She’s drunk, just like all of you. Claire and Alex should already be asleep.”

“Dean, don’t be such a prude,” Charlie whines as the hunter gets up from the pillow to carefully pick you up in bridal style. “Aw, you want Y/N all to yourself.”

“Charlie, you should stop,” Sam warns. “Dean is right. It’s past 4 am. We can extend the sleepover and have a little party over the weekend, ladies.”

“YAY!” everyone cheers. Everyone but you and Dean who carries you out of the library to bring you to his room.

“Dean, I hope you make her orgasm at least twice!” Meg calls after the hunter.

“Oh, my dear. I can tell, he will give her more than two,” Rowena chuckles lightly. “Now, I want one last drink and then, we will call it a day…”

“Drinking, having a party, and talking about sex,” Dean covers you with his blanket. “We are going to have a serious conversation in the morning, Y/N.”

“Why? I wanted to have a party,” whining you watch Dean crawl under the sheets to join you. “Uh—why am I at your room?”

“I must keep an eye on you. Those women are dangerous,” he says, hovering over you to peck your hair. “Next time, invite me too. I love to play truth and dare.”

“Fine, but you’ll pay for the snacks, Winchester.”

“Ya know, we could play another round right now,” watching you turn around he smirks. “Truth or dare, sweetheart.”

“Truth,” you whimper as he leans closer to brush his lips over your cheek.

“Do you want me to make you orgasm?”

“Yes…I think…uh—”

“Good choice,” Dean cups your cheek to kiss you softly. “I’ll ask you the same question when you are sober, sweetheart. If the answer is still yes, I’ll make your scream my name…”

Tags in reblog.

#dean winchester fanfic #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester SPN #sam x jess #slumber party #dean x reader #spn

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charcubed · 3 years

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Let's talk about Supernatural 15x07, "Last Call."

Or as I like to call it, "the episode that makes me go feral because it tells us so much about Dean's sexuality, character, and arc."

YES others have written meta! YES I will talk about it myself for the satisfaction! I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

This post was originally a thread on Twitter and I am crossposting it to my blog.

Alt image IDs are included in that linked Twitter thread!

Join me on this journey.

What's the context of this episode? Dean's been kind of down/depressed, feeling hopeless in the face of the idea that they have to defeat God (and not really working towards that goal much), and he's mid-divorce with Cas. He goes out on this solo case to try to clear his head.

And he ends up at Swayze's Bar.

Look, there are many things to be said about this. Dean loves Patrick Swayze. Arguably has a CRUSH on Swayze. It's very tied up in Dean pretending not to like "chick flicks" but he secretly does, which is queer coding. This was a Choice™️.

Speaking of Choices™️: professional actors made many here. Deliberately.

Dean is smacked on the ass by a woman and then Lee smacks him on the ass too. Dean and Lee CONSTANTLY have physical familiarity and fond eye contact. I will limit myself to 1 paragraph about this lest I list it all.

My point is that I just really need every person to digest and accept the fact that this is textually bi Dean. Not subtext; it's TEXT.

Dean and Lee had a relationship. Their history is alluded to in touch and in words. They had an orgy together. Dean's bisexuality is not repressed.

It's also now canon that Dean tries to hide that he can sing well. Most people don't know (like Sam) but some do (Lee). Hence "Eye of the Tiger" callback.

And so: that's also the implication for his sexuality. Dean singing ON STAGE with bi lighting is him being ready to be Out.

They dedicated an entire half an ep at minimum to emphasizing he's bi... and to Dean having a conversation with someone he (initially) trusts about potentially having a break from hunting, and what that could mean.

LEE: You're chasing missing persons, huh? I thought you'd be on to something bigger by now, like the Loch Ness Monster... Bigfoot.

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

LEE: Damn, brother, that's dark.

DEAN: Yeah, it's been a rough, uh... it's been a rough decade, Lee.

LEE: Yeah.

DEAN: But that's a conversation for a different time, 'cause this, this right here, this is all right.

LEE: Well, I'm glad you approve. This is nothing you can't have, man.

DEAN: Oh, come on. Who's gonna kill the bad guys?

LEE: Somebody else. Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.

"But Lee turns out to be a villain!" some might say. "Isn't the point that giving up hunting is bad?"

Nope.

Lee's a DARK MIRROR for Dean. He exists to exhibit the truths behind Dean's desires, and then what they'd look like if they turned bad. Take it from him: "I am you."

There are LAYERS here. You can't focus on the dark side and ignore the truths that take place in the (often bi) light.

The singing? The conversations about taking a break? Throwing men out of the bar, which is framed heroically? "Road House rules" (another Choice™️)?

NONE of that was bad. It shows what Dean wants.

Things only get bad��literally and visually–when Dean's tied up as Lee suddenly says wrong things in the dark.

The contrast exists to show that maintaining Goodness is a choice, and Dean would have no problem upholding that.

LEE: It's called a marid. It's a freaky-looking little thing, isn't it? [Lee laughs, and Dean stares at him, incredulous] Ah. As long as you feed it, it gives you money, it gives you health, everything you dreamed of.

DEAN: And so, what, it just costs innocent lives?

LEE: Dean, you and I both know no one's innocent. After everything we've done, aren't... aren't we owed a little happiness, huh? Don't we deserve that much?

DEAN: Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

LEE: Good or bad... the world doesn't care. No one cares, Dean.

DEAN: Well, I do.

LEE: Yeah. And that's what got you here. Now, takes a while to drain a man, but listen to me. Don't worry about it, all right? Don't worry because once you lose a couple of pints, you just fall asleep, and then it'll be over.

[Lee pats Dean on the shoulder]

DEAN: Lee.

LEE: This... this is not how I wanted this to go, Dean. When that blonde girl walked in here last night, I should've know, you know, Dean Winchester, the righter of wrongs, you were gonna keep digging, and you were gonna figure me out. And if it's got to be you or me, well, I got to pick me, man.

"No one cares, Dean."

"Well, I do."

It's a reminder to himself as much as it is to Lee. It's a re-centering of purpose that he sorely needs.

And what's also key? Lee is human, but is now a "monster" in Dean's words. Because Lee lost his ability to care, Dean can't abide by that.

(Side note: bonus for the fact that Lee dies up against a wall by being impaled and he coughs up blood. You know who doesn’t cough up blood in their very weird and unrealistic death scene? Dean in the finale.)

Remember: Lee is a dark mirror for Dean. "I am you."

By fighting and (tragically) killing Lee, Dean "kills" the darker side of himself. The side that's struggling to keep going right now... AND the side that fears eventually wanting a break means you must be selfish and stop caring.

He can keep going. He can find strength to fight God–and in the end, take a break and CHOOSE peace. It won't make him dark. He's the most caring man on Earth, even when it's hard. That’s reinforced later.

Isn't he owed a little happiness? And that's not in the having. It's in just being.

The bonus is what's going on with Cas in this episode.

Dean's clearing his head and finding his center again while Cas is calling him.

Come home. I need you. Remember what matters.

And again, contrast: Lee turns out not to be "real/true" in the way Dean thought he was. But Cas IS.

And after Dean goes through all of this... he's grounded again, he recognizes that even amongst questions of what God controls there are still choices to be made, he's reminded that letting his caring heart lead him is priority, he's lost another friend...

He comes home to Cas.

It's awkward. They're still distanced.

But this episode is a turning point for Dean. He's not angry at Cas anymore, he wants to talk, he's ready to move forward... he just doesn't know how to yet.

And if you follow the through-line... then you get Rowena saying "fix it"... and then after that is the Purgatory prayer.

I just !!!

S15 is packed with Dean development to hone in towards the end of his arc, but "Last Call" manages to hit SO many buttons.

• He's always been bi, & is ready to be Out

• He can want a break–& maybe run a bar like the Roadhouse

• Caring is at the core of who he is

It's about the CHOICE. It's about wanting to live your truths, and that "caring" can mean many things–from defeating God and saving the world, to making the hard choices when it counts, to maybe running a bar where people are safe.

14x10 and its matching Texan Star also say hello:

DEAN: How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA: How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN: Whoa.

PAMELA: Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN: All right.

PAMELA: So, still not ready to sell the bar, huh? It's a lot of money.

DEAN: Sell? This bar? This is my dream.

PAMELA; Yeah.

And I recognize that rereading this info is sad(der) now because of what we got in the end, so uh... sorry.

But that's half the point: it's repeatedly blatantly clear what we were meant to get, down to deliberate echoes in word choice–caring, happiness, deserve, even Roadhouse.

Dean was meant to choose to take a break, maybe run a bar–whether on Earth or in Heaven. At minimum, if Dean was meant to end up in Heaven, he was meant to choose it with eyes wide open. And the next time the phone rang with Cas' name (15x19), he RAN for him. He was VERY ready.

And the whole season tells you that. This episode is just my favorite.

So... thanks for letting me ramble on about it!!!

DEAN WINCHESTER: BI ICON, ONCE-LOVER OF LEE WEBB, THE MOST CARING MAN ON EARTH WHO DESERVED TO CHOOSE PEACE AFTER GAINING HIS FREEDOM, & SOULMATE TO AN ANGEL

And a very big thank you to the talented kings Jensen Ackles & Christian Kane, and their longstanding friendship. They gave me many rights with their acting choices.

Here's an iconic bonus for the road.

#supernatural #spn meta #15x07 Last Call #Lee Webb #Dean Winchester #Destiel #Dean is bi #took a lot of self control for me to not go FUCKING FERAL in this #char writes things

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chocolatecakecas · 3 years

Text

To Infinity and Beyond: baby!Jack truthing Birthday Ficlet

Today already looked like the perfect day. Warm weather, the sun shining, the birds singing, all the usual qualifications for "perfection". And if Dean had anything to say about it, it is also going to be, the perfect day.

Because Dean had planned out everything. Tents and tables spread out in the backyard of their new house, enough hamburgers and hotdogs to feed an army, a giant sheet cake in the freezer, and it looked like a Party City catalogue threw up all over their house, both inside and out. Hell, he and Cas even got a bounce house.

Yup, today was going to be perfect, Dean thought as he surveyed the backyard. He was going to make sure of it, nothing was going to go wro-

"To infinity and beyond!"

And the next thing he knew, he had a recently turned four year old, barreling into his legs almost knocking him off the porch.

(read the rest under the cut)

He looked down to see Jack already dressed in his outfit for the day. A shirt with Buzz Lightyear's costume printed on it, complete with little cardboard Buzz wings (Cas made them), purple shorts with a purple tutu, and of course, his favorite Buzz light-up sneakers.

"I'd say that was a bit of a crash landing there, Mr.Lightyear" Dean laughed, as he bent down to right Jack's scribbled cardboard wings. Jack just ignored his reference, instead letting out an excited shriek as he took in the backyard.

Every tablecloth, plate, napkin, cup, balloon, and cardboard decoration was covered in Toy Story characters.

Toy Story, was the end all be all in their house, because they were Jack's favorite movies. So everything, was 100% Toy Story, 100% of the time, hence the party theme. And his favorite character was Buzz Lightyear, hence the costume.

"Dee where's your costume?" Jack questioned, after he finally recovered from the shock of seeing the, probably, overdecorated backyard.

"Yeah Sheriff Woody, where's your costume? It's almost one thirty" Cas called as he stepped out the backdoor. Cas was already dressed in t-shirt with Jessie's outfit printed on the front, her matching red hat, jeans and of course, cowboy boots which Dea-wait shit they only had a half an hour left.

And he hadn't even double checked th-

"The backyard and inside of the house already look incredible. Go on and get ready before everyone starts arriving" Cas smiled sweetly, knowing how worried Dean was about today.

"I will, after I chec-"

"Dean, I promise, I'll double check all the decorations, and the food. Me and the little space ranger have got it covered, right baby?" Cas supplied, looking fondly over at Jack.

"Yeah me and Da got it! Get dressed Dee" Jack cheered, as hopped down the steps and raced "flew" across the grass cardboard wings flapping behind him.

"Go get changed, cowboy. Everything already looks perfect" Cas teased, pressing a quick peck to Dean's lips. And then he was bounding down the steps towards Jack, warning him not to go near the bounce house.

So Dean reluctantly walked inside, forcing himself to ignore all of the things he wanted to check on, and instead making a beeline for their bedroom. He quickly pulled on his costume, but unlike Jack and Cas it was the real deal, not just a graphic t-shirt, Dean had the actual shirt, the vest, whole nine yards. Jack had asked if Dean would wear a real Woody costume and, hey who was he to deny his kid on his birthday?

So with a sigh, Dean made his way back to the living room so he could reorganize the snack table.

He wanted everything to be perfect today. Perfect for Jack because, this was his first real birthday party after all. And because Dean's oldest memory was of his fourth birthday, his last birthday party actually since it wasn't like they were throwing big family bashes on the road. No, birthdays were a box of cigarettes from his Dad (if he even remembered), or Dean sometimes scraping together enough money to get a cake for Sam's birthday.

Which is why today had to go smoothly. Because Jack deserved the world, he deserved to have a good life filled with memories of big family parties with fun decorations and food and laughter. And Dean could give it to him now, give him what he and Sam never had. So today had to be special, it had-needed to be perfect.

"Dean, I don't think Jack is going to care if the clouds are a little crooked" Cas pointed out, amusement dancing in his voice as he walked into the living room.

Dean huffed a laugh, but didn't stop his mission to straighten out the paper "Andy's Room" clouds taped to the wall above the table. Cas just sighed as he gently pulled his hand away from the wall, turning Dean towards him.

"Dean I know how much you want to make this day absolutely perfect for Jack, believe me I do too. But he's going to love every single second of it. He's practically bouncing off the walls already, and the party hasn't even started yet" Cas assured as he squeezed Dean's hands.

"I know, I know. But he deserves to have the best damn birthday. Especially after everything and he's just- Jack shoul-" Dean started, only to be cut off by the sound of the doorbell.

"It's Uncle Sammy and Aunt Eileen! Can I open the door, please?" Jack called from down the hall, asking for permission.

"Yeah buddy, you're allowed to open the door. Let them in" Dean shouted back, unable to help the smile pulling at his lips when he heard Jack enthusiastically telling them about "all the cool decorations".

"See? Jack is already loving it! Now relax, and enjoy the party, cowboy. Everything is going to be perfect" Cas smiled as he made his way down the hall to greet Sam and Eileen. But not before giving Dean's ass a little smack.

A few hours into the party everything was smooth sailing, and Dean had only been scolded for readjusting some decorations four times. The kids Jack invited from his class were having a great time, as where their parents, which was especially great because not a single one of them managed to see a member of Dean and Cas’ family discreetly place their weapons in the spare bedroom (Dean wasn’t a fool, it was a party full of hunters, he wasn’t just gonna make a no weapons rule because what if something happened?). So then Dean and Eileen manned the grill like champs, Cas and Garth kept an eye on the kiddos in the bounce house, Sam had handled the Buzz Lightyear shaped piñata perfectly, while Dean organized the kids, making sure Jack was the one to break it. The sun stayed shining, the birds kept singing. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn't.

And it was all Dean’s fault.

Dean's stomach dropped as he stared down at the now smudged faces of Woody, Buzz and half of the green aliens. Because Dean just smooshed the entire left side of the cake while trying to take lid off.

He just destroyed the most important part of the party, the part Jack was most excited about. Now Dean just ruined everythi-

"-come in star command, do you read me?" Cas joked, completely startling Dean, because how long had Cas been standing there?

"Dean, what's wro-oh" Cas sighed as soon as he caught sight of the cake.

"I friggin smooshed the whole thing with the lid. It's destroyed we can't-the party and Jack and-" Dean rambled, heart pounding against his chest, while Cas took the life from his hands and gently set it on the other side of the counter.

"Dean, stop it's okay breathe for me. It's just the cake. It's not your fault. It's still edible, we can fix this" Cas soothed as softly cupped Dean's cheeks in an attempt to ground him.

"Hey are you guys alri-oh shit" Eileen gasped as she and Sam walked through the kitchen door, which caused Dean’s heart rate to pick up again.

"It's okay, it'll be fine. We can try to scrape some of it back together with a knife" Sam offered, quickly moving Dean and Cas to the side so he could get at the cake.

But it only made the faces look completely unrecognizable.

"Damnit, what are we gonna-"

"Dee! Can we have cake now?" Jack asked as he came racing into the kitchen, and Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen quickly huddled in front of the counter to hide the cake from sight.

"In a few minutes squish, we're still uh-getting it ready" Dean managed plastering a wide, hopefully convincing smile on his face.

"Why don't you go jump around the bounce house again, buddy?" Sam suggested, which had Jack nearly bolting out of the kitchen again with a nod

"Make sure one of your aunts or uncles, or your friends' parents are watching you!" Cas called after him, which only got a tiny "okay Da" in response.

They all let out a breath when they heard the backdoor slam, and quickly turned to look at the offending cake again.

"It's not that late, what if one of us runs to store and see if they have ano-"

"They won't, we ordered this specia-"

"And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere" Claire joked as she entered the kitchen and quickly surveyed the mess before her, eyes widening when she spotted the cake. And Dean normally would have teased her the reference but he was too busy, freaking the fuck out, so he chose to ignore it.

"What do we do? We can't fix this, there's no time it's completely rui-"

"Wait, dude calm down. I have an idea, hold on a minute" Claire proclaimed, and swiftly exited the kitchen, which did pretty much nothing to calm Dean's panic. In fact he was getting desperate.

"Do you think Rowena might have a spell-"

"That's not how magic works. But honestly Dean, I'm sure Jack won't even notice-"

"The kid can recite the entirety of Toy Story 2 from memory and you don't think he's gonna notice Woody is missing his entire head?"

"Alright, start grabbing the Toy Story figures and wash them off. Then we can put them all over the cake instead, and cover up the horrifyingly smeared faces" Claire ordered as she came back into the kitchen with Kaia in tow, and box of Jack's toys in hand.

And Dean could have cried from relief (he did).

"Holy shit Claire you're a genius" Dean praised, as he quickly began sifting through the box.

"I know, I know. Now c'mon, I want cake"

And a few minutes later everyone was gathered around the dining room table, singing a completely off key rendition of Happy Birthday. Jack was seated in the center of it all, with a half smooshed, slightly lopsided, plastic figure covered cake, with Dean and Cas crouching on either side of him. Jack hadn't even commented on the completely smeared face of Woody or Ham, he was just clapping along, bouncing in his seat. In fact, he the biggest smile Dean had ever seen on his face, and he teared up at the sight.

"Blow out the candles and make a wish, baby" Cas encouraged, and Jack attempted to do just that. Only succeeding when Dean secretly helped blow out the candles for him.

"Yay! To infinity and beyond!" Jack shouted again, as he stood up and jumped on his chair. The room easily erupted into laughter, while Charlie and Jody each snapped pictures from across the table.

"Alright Lightyear, let's not fall with style into the already smooshed cake" Dean joked, as he quickly stabilized Jack, which only caused everyone to burst into more laughter.

So, Dean scooped up Jack, sitting in his chair and placing him on his lap, while Sam offered to cut up the cake. And Cas took plopped down in the chair next to them, sliding him and Jack a plate.

"Are you having fun at your birthday party, baby?" Cas questioned as he handed Jack a plastic fork.

"Yeah! Claire jumped in the house with me! And Danny and Sarah and me played in the sandbox! An-and we played tag, and Aunt Donna played too! And the cake has all my friends on it, see!" Jack rushed out all in one breath, stopping to point at the now sliced cake. By "friends" he of course meant his actual Toy Story figures of course. But before Dean could even react to any of that, Cas was whispering in Jack's ear, and pulling away.

"Thank you for all the party things, Dee!" Jack beamed as he turned and threw his arms around Dean's neck.

And Dean's heart clenched as he tightly wrapped his arms around his kid, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. He looked back up to see Cas smiling widely at them, so Dean whispered something in Jack's ear too. And then Jack was off flinging himself around Cas' neck.

"Why doesn't all the family get together, I can take the photos" Marissa, the mom of one of Jack's friends offered.

And soon the three of them were surrounded by their family on all sides. Everyone laughing when Marissa suggested they all say "yeehaw" instead of cheese. Jack giggling when Claire zoomed over, and bent down so she could smoosh their faces together for the obligatory "silly face" picture. Dean quickly swiping icing on both Cas and Jack's noses, causing Cas to tip Dean's cowboy hat and Jack to shove a handful of frosting on Dean's cheek.

So maybe it wasn't the flawless, smooth sailing birthday party Dean had planned. But the weather stayed warm, the sun still shone, the birds still sang. His family laughed, and ate and had a blast.

And Jack looked about as happy as they had ever seen him, as he ran around the yard with his friends and played games with his family. Dean would even go as far to count it as a complete success. Especially since Jack asked Cas, "when can we have a big party again?", as they tucked him into bed later that night.

So as far as Dean is concerned, it was the perfect day.

Tag list:

(please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!!💛)

@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @chaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @organicpurplepants @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @writtendevastation @tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @sinnabonka @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @icefire149

@shadowywerewolfqueen @the-cookie-navy @thelahatiel @thefantasyfiend @castielle-deanna @aestheticflyer26 @multi-fandom-imagine @x-mypeopleskillsarerusty-x @wellofwoes @becky-srs @multi-fandom-dark-lord @perfectkoaladream @castiel-for-lunch @it--hurts--to--become @bowtiesandneckerchiefs

@dakiaty @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @hrh-princess-bea @martymar1963 @midnight-sparks-studio @slipper007 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @winchester-novak @lyonessrampant @angelic-bee-enthusiast @nguyenxtrang @idiot-on-the-hill @ethicalbitch @fandoms-and-things @doreschary @confix @milfcodeddean @seraphcastiel @seraphlm

#toy story 2 IS jack's favorite movie i will not be debating this. he is a boy of taste #dean and cas are secretive and dont trust the mail ahshdha #this is so self indulgent toy story 2 is my favorite movie of all time #this is based off when my parents accidentally smooshed half of the cake at my 3rd bday party and did exactly this asfhajdhah #so this is literally just a bunch of toy story references i apologize for nothing i had to hold myself back from making even moRE #de and da supremacy because its both parts of 'daddy' and he started calling them that when he first started to talk but it stuck #also its written from deans pov bc i couldnt write from actual 4 year old jack's pov so i apologize for that #HES FOUR!!!!#baby jack truthing #baby!jack #happy birthday jack!!!!#dean winchester #castiel #sammy #eileen #claire novak #destiel #destiel fic #bec writes #nougatparty #dad!dean #dadstiel #userzaddy #seraphcastiel

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mlobsters · 3 months

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supernatural s14e7 unhuman nature (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)

finally getting back to nick bashing someone's skull in i gather

sam the only one that apparently knows how to interact with a healthcare establishment. are they going to try to make me cry? because i really don't want to deal with that today

thought this diner looked familiar and like something in x-files, well. this super cool site has shows and episodes with pictures from things that filmed there! the magicians, the x-files and i, robot - relevant to my viewing history. need to get spn listed in there too. and i got to that info because the wiki has the also super cool maps with locations for every episode

SAM I mean, this place, we tried, but they've never seen anything like Jack, and we can't exactly tell them what he is. DEAN Then let's get him out of here. Let's bring him home. Let's do what we do. Let's find a way. Hell, I was even thinkin' maybe Rowena… SAM Already called her.

sammy's on the ball. there's always one parent who's best at dealing with the medical stuff

SAM Somebody is sick, all right, but… Listen, I-I don't know how well you got to know our friend Jack with everything that was going on when you were here, but we've sort of been taking care of him, and, uh, he's, um… Lucifer's son. ROWENA Goodbye. SAM No, no, no. Stop, stop. He's a great kid. His mother was a fantastic human being, a-a-and he wanted nothing to do with Lucifer, w-who is dead, as you know. ROWENA I hope he's rotting.

i'm not on board with her characterization flip flop but i can appreciate this dynamic she has with sam now

ROWENA It's as I suspected. A Nephilim, for all its power, is an unnatural presence. Part human, part angel… It -- It doesn't quite fit. It's delicate. Its grace is what holds it in balance, and when Jack's grace was taken from him, his being fell into chaos. The -- The cells are gobbling each other up.

reminds me of what i mentioned in recap of 12x19

if the kid is half grace wouldn’t you end up with a half a kid :p

variation on the theme. supernatural or mental illness: panic attack edition

i thought i was gonna get through this without it pushing on my dead parents buttons but no such luck. i've been on the receiving end of that conversation with a doctor that their bodies are shutting down. and all told that was 28 and 12 years ago respectively but it can still reduce me to a sobbing wreck pretty damned fast with the right prompts.

being a good dad with this driving lesson. i am not looking forward to those days, it's gonna stress me the fuck out and you gotta play it cool so you don't stress them the fuck out. double whammy

SAM Yo, Cass, wait. Are you sure you wanna handle this alone? CASS I, uh… I feel the need to do something. And I think Dean's right. We can't afford to overlook any possibility. He seems to be taking this particularly hard. SAM Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he -- he, uh, was pretty rough on Jack at the beginning, and...I don't think he's forgotten. And I know he hasn't forgiven himself. You know, he's lost people, we've all lost people, but, um… CASS This feels different. Losing, um...a son...feels different.

like sam can't even look at him after that. almost want sam to go with him just so that neither one is alone.

i'm reminded of 11x23 where they pushed hard on this dean going to sacrifice himself and saying goodbye at their parents graves and all and. how i knew, we knew, this was going to be walked back. that he wasn't actually dying. now i don't know how long alexander calvert is in the show, how many more episodes, etc. but i do have a very vague idea of where jack is at the end of the series. and i don't want them to kill him off and not have his actor back, but i also really don't want an episode that's making me break down sobbing when it's gonna be magically fixed at the last minute or whatever either. i'm trying to just push through the episode so i don't drag this out another day. not to mention i'm sure i'm going to have a fucking awful headache tomorrow

JACK You once told me you and your father did the exact same thing. It was your happiest memory of him. DEAN I didn't say that. JACK It was how you said it. I could tell. I guess my point is that… if I don't make it… The stuff I'd miss -- it wouldn't be things like Tahiti. Or the Taj Mahal. I'd miss more time with you. I'm getting that life isn't all these big, amazing moments. It's time together that matters. Like this. DEAN Well, who'd have thought hanging out with me would make you sentimental? JACK I've had a good life, Dean.

dean deflecting, per usual. but yeah. full-on "you're gonna cry" mode.

look at that. rando man we've never heard of happens to have some of gabriel's grace and a special spell. sure. at least it didn't work, i guess. not going for that cheap of an out

s14e7 / terminator 2: judgement day

pellegrino always delivers but i am so tired of lucifer. the effects were pretty okay until they decided to do this lucifer-empty!terminator skull situation. they gonna end up getting jack-via-lucifer's grace back this way?

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 14x07 #spnwhinge #i guess #spnsob more like it #eugenie ross leming #brad buckner

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mishastoesies · 3 years

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oh we’re talking about saileen today? i think eileen should have a group of hunters that she’s friends with, all women, and they should have like a tight-knit sisterhood kind of deal where they all protect each other and they go on hunts together AND they party together.

and one day she should be like “sam, we’re getting pretty close, i think it’s time for you to meet my family” and she introduces sam to them and theyre like “okay winchester lets see if you can hang with the cool kids” and one of them just hands sam a machete and is like “we’re going vampire hunting, huge nest up in the woods near pierce, idaho” and eileen is like “whoever takes out the most vamps doesn’t have to buy their own alcohol ;)”

and sam ofc wants to impress eileen and her friends so he’s like “bet!! you’re all buying me and eileen shots tonight!!” and so they all head up to the woods to go kill vampires and of course something goes wrong because when you bring a winchester on a case something always goes wrong

in this case it’s that the vampires are working with a coven of witches that need blood for like [insert handwavey evil reason here, i dunno man] and these witches KNOW sam actually because uh oh sam’s Talked About in the witch community because 1) he knows rowena macleod (he’s actually considered her protégé which is a whole different can of worms) and 2) he’s literally a fucking necromancer (love that he brought eileen back from the dead but that was necromancy ladies, let’s call it what it is) and even these evil witches don’t mess with necromancy, that’s a bridge too far

so of course the witches decide that sam needs to die; while the rest of the group are staking out the vampire nest, sam gets kidnapped by the coven to be sacrificed to the demon they’ve all made a magic pact with. in my head they do this because like, what better tribute to your evil magic-granting demon than another powerful witch?

and eileen realizes that sam is missing because she hasn’t gotten her daily photo of sam signing ILY to her (because they ARE that cutesy kind of couple i’ll die on that hill) and so she tells her group and theyre like “goddammit eileen. you could do better. lets go save your tall boyfriend”

and so they roll up to the coven’s hut and sam is about to be sacrified to a demon and it turns into a bloodbath. eileen kills like, three of the witches solo because they hurt her boyfriend. also kills the demon on her own because again, that’s her boyfriend that was about to be sacrificed. sam, who at this point is recovered from whatever magical chloroform the witches used to kidnap him, jumps in at the last second and saves eileen from getting killed by a witch that snuck up behind her.

[insert moment where they whip around, both of their knives bloodied, and gaze into each other’s eyes romantically. again, they’re a sappy couple]

eileen’s friends are like “okay you two enough googly eyes, we still have a vamp nest to destroy” and eileen, ever the professional, is like “right yes come on sam let’s get in the car” and sam trails after her, still somewhat In Awe of the hot badass woman that he tricked into falling in love with him.

cut to them all at the bar. sam did NOT kill more vampires than one of eileen’s friends, they’re all doing so many shots it’s insane, and eileen is saying “this is how i know you’re not part-irish” when sam says that he’s tapping out. all of them laugh. fade to black.

#sam winchester #eileen leahy #supernatural #saileen #they are so!! GOOD!! together!! it's wild!!

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smol-and-grumpy · 3 years

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Legally Yours - Ch. 26

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester tops the list of hottest entrepreneurs 2020 and yet, there’s still something he wants but can’t have because, in order to get that, he would have to settle down and get married. She agrees too quickly because she wants to secure a more comfortable life for her and her daughter. Will she be able to help Dean get what he wants without losing herself in the fake story they spin up to deceive his father and the world?

Chapter Warnings: We’re still at the angst, because someone’s obviously still an idiot. We also might detect some jealousy.

WC: 4214

Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons <3

This series is complete on Patreon

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Five days later, she’s sitting in her kitchen, job application website open on her laptop while Bobby’s at work and Olivia’s at school.

The first night was hard on the girl. Olivia crawled into bed with her, spinning up tales that she missed her toys they left at Dean’s but she is sure that a part of the little girl’s heart is aching for Dean because hers is too.

Y/N hasn’t heard from him and it took everything in her not to shoot him a message and ask him how he’s doing. She’s fairly certain that if she would choose to go down that road, she’ll get weak and that’s against the new rule that she’s set up for herself in order to protect herself and her family.

Donna sent her a text when she arrived back at her old apartment, asking how her honeymoon was going and when Y/N told her that she’s back, Donna offered to come over. They sat around the tiny kitchen table with boxed wine between them, drinking and talking. Yeah, boxed wine. Over are the days of cheap bottles. Well, she reckons she could afford it with the money from the marriage contract but she’d rather not as she has a future to think about.

She didn’t sulk, didn’t allow herself to. She needed to be strong for Olivia and keep it all together. Her friend parted with a promise to help her find a man who she deserved. She only smiled. Couldn’t find it in her heart to say that she’s not looking for a man, that she thinks that Dean’s ruined her for all other men, that she’s most likely destined to be alone forever. At least she has Liv, and honestly, that’s all that counts. God, she’s so glad to have that little girl. She would have been broken beyond repair if it wasn't for Liv.

While she touches up her CV at the kitchen table where she poured her heart out to Donna the evening before, her phone starts to buzz next to her. Her heart jumps. She hates the buzz of her phone because she’ll always think that it could be Dean and when it’s not him, she will always feel so deflated. Somehow, she’s okay with the situation but a little part of her still hopes that he would change his mind and come back to her.

This time it’s no different when she looks at her phone. If anything, it’s even worse. Sam’s calling.

She debates on not picking up but decides that she has to because he’s probably calling about the annulment. It’s really the only thing left that keeps her tied to Dean on a contractual level, and after she signs that, it’s like the marriage never existed.

“Sam?”

“Yeah, uh, hi, Y/N,” The man can be heard on the other end. A little breath leaves him, and she can imagine that he’s smiling. Ever the friendly Sam. She can’t lie, she misses him too.

“You’re calling about the annulment?” She gets straight to the point. There’s really no point in stretching this out unnecessarily.

“Um, actually no. Dean’s not really talkative and he’s not going to sign it.”

“What do you mean he’s not going to sign it?” She doesn’t understand, has a hard time wrapping her head around it. Why did Dean still want to be married to her when she walked away from him? There’s no point in pretending anymore and she has made up her mind. The only way she’s going is forward and not back. She wants to move on.

“Don’t worry about it. He’s only been back two days, I need time to talk him through it. We should have the annulment finalized by Monday, I promise.”

“I trust you,” She says into the receiver, because she does. If someone can talk sense into Dean, it will probably be Sam. “How is he?”

“Do you want to hear the truth or do you want me to lie to make you feel better?”

“Lie.”

“He’s doing great.”

“That’s good.”

Sam snorts, “Well, I knew you'd feel better if you knew that he’s doing okay without you.”

“You’re right. I don’t want him to feel bad but somehow I also want him to, you understand?”

A burst of laughter rumbles on the other end, “I know,” Sam replies, “He’s a gigantic dick, Y/N. I think he knows that and he’s beating himself up for it. He’s been back at work for two days and according to Rowena, it’s hell. He doesn’t talk to anyone and if he opens his mouth, it’s to shout at people.”

“Wow, he’s coping well.”

The man laughs again, “Dean’s never been good at taking rejections. He’ll get over it, eventually. Someday. Maybe. Well,” Sam pauses and exhales loudly, “Tell you the truth, I don’t think he’ll get over it. I’ve never seen him like this and it scares me, hence me calling you.”

Y/N feels sorry for him. And there she thought that she was miserable without him. Somehow it gives her a little satisfaction to know that he’s doing just as bad, if not worse. Can anyone blame her to feel like this?

“I’m not going to go back to him just so that he’ll stop being an ass to other people.”

“That’s not what I was going to ask you about.”

“Ah, why beat around the bush, Sam. What is it?”

Sam sighs, “Okay, as you might know, Dean hasn’t told anyone that you two broke up.”

“Why am I not surprised?” She hopes Sam can feel through the phone how hard she’s rolling her eyes right now.

“Shush,” Sam scolds and continues before she can say sorry for interrupting him, “He has a charity gala to attend tonight, and it would be great if you would accompany him.”

The bark of laughter that leaves her mouth is hard to hold back, “You what?”

Sam’s not laughing, “I mean it, Y/N. He’s not doing great and he has to attend. Technically you are still his wife and you have a contract, so..”

“Oh, please, don’t come at me with a contract, Sam. Dean told me that I’m allowed to walk away. He said that he doesn’t need me to get the shares. He wasn’t the one stopping me when I walked out on him, so tell me, why should I do this? Why should I pretend when I don’t have to anymore?”

“Because you still care about him,”

Sam’s answer is a hit to her heart. She does. She cares so fucking much but also, that means that she’s not going to give in because it’s time to put herself first. She can’t hold herself together for Olivia’s sake when there’s nobody backing her up. She won’t go through this again.

Of course Sam’s on Dean’s side. He’s friendly to her but if Sam would have to pick sides, it would always be Dean’s.

“I’m sorry,” She says, her voice shaking a little. No, she’s not going to cry. Not again. Not anymore.

“Okay,” Sam relents too easily, “Can’t blame me for trying.”

“No, I can’t. Dean’s lucky to have you as a friend.” She means it.

“I’ll come to see you as soon as Dean signs the papers, Y/N.”

“Thank you.”

“Take care of yourself and Olivia, okay? And tell me if you need anything.”

“I will, Sam. Thanks.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

She hangs up before she can say goodbye. The phone drops onto the table and she’s back to burying her face into her arms as she sobs.

For the next five weeks, Y/N tries to avoid looking at tabloids pages, instead, concentrating on Olivia and helping to ease the little girl back into her old environment.

Of course there have been texts from Donna telling her that there’s no news from Dean, at least not with another woman. She knows that she shouldn’t care about it, because if he wants to date again, it’s his right, but somehow, she can’t help but feel the pinpricks in her heart. It’s not something bad but something good because it keeps her hopes alive for a while. After she was reluctant to answer Donna's text about Dean in the first two weeks, her friend has decided that she doesn’t want to update Y/N anymore. Which is also fine with her. The less she’s reminded of Dean, the quicker it will be to get over him.

She snorts out a laugh at that thought. Yeah, right.

Bobby has been weird the last two weeks too. He went out to meetings, saying it has something to do with his union but she knows that he doesn’t even have a union so she really doesn’t have any explanation for the two to three times the man went AWOL when he should be home but again, it’s nothing that should worry her. Bobby is still young enough to have his own life. She guesses that it has to do with a new lady friend maybe. Maybe Bobby’s being cautious too, maybe he doesn’t want her and Olivia to know when things aren’t steady with the two. She couldn’t blame him for thinking like that.

Tonight is the first time in over a month that she feels comfortable enough to leave the security of her own home. Perhaps Donna has something to do with it, begging her to finally go out and face the world, and Y/N can’t lie that Donna’s not right. It’s time to face it like a grown-up. She can’t be buried in her four walls forever. She eventually has to go out and socialize. She’s been going out a lot for interviews but that’s about it. No company has called her back yet, though. Thankfully, she still has more than enough money to get by.

As soon as she arrives at The Roadhouse and Donna sees her, the woman is quick to be by her side, “I have a surprise for you!”

“Oh no,” Y/N rolls her eyes, “I hate surprises.”

“It’s not bad, I just thought, you know,”

“Donna,” She warns her friend. Somehow, she doesn’t like where this discussion is going.

“There’s this guy, I invited him. He’s nice, so be nice, okay? He’s not going to be the love of your life, I know that too but you should put yourself out there, just a drink, okay? It will broaden up your horizon, maybe get your ex-husband out of your mind for a little bit.”

Jesus, Donna’s talking a mile a minute. She barely understands what the woman is raving on about.

“What?”

“There,” Donna pulls her close, points a finger to the booth where Garth is sitting with someone whose back is turned to her.

“Oh, Donna, no!”

“Why, Donna yes!” The blonde exclaims cheerily before placing her hands on Y/N shoulders and pushing her towards the booth. “His name is Cubbie.”

“Cub-what?”

“It’s a nickname, Y/N.”

“If that’s the nickname I don’t wanna know about his real name.”

“Cuthbert. Cuthbert Sinclair, if you wanna know. He’s a magician.”

“That’s great. Super.” Y/N groans and turns around towards the exit but Donna’s hand is firm around her shoulders, guiding her back to where Garth is already standing up to make room for her.

“Hey, Cubbie! This is Y/N, the woman I talked to you about.” Donna’s all smiles and somehow, Y/N’s hand itches to hurt her friend.

“I’m Y/N,” She says then. The only way is forward now.

Cubbie, still what a fucking weird name, stands up and his hands immediately go to her arms and pulls her closer to press a wet kiss on her cheek.

Ew. Oh no, this won’t end well.

Reluctantly she sits down, wonders how long she has to sit here until she can get up and leave without being too rude.

She lets him buy her a drink and he orders fries to share between them while they talk. It’s not exactly bad but they just share small talk about the weather and where they’re from.

“So, you’re a magician?” She tries to sound like she’s interested, wanting to get into the deeper conversational territory.

“Yeah,” Cubbie reaches over and strokes her hair behind her ear and when he sits back up, he shows her the coin that he apparently pulled out of her, a bright smile dotes his face. She does her best to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

“Good god,” She exclaims and the man laughs.

He goes on to tell her about magic, which she again, has no interest in listening to. Jesus, the man can talk. While she debates on maybe hurting herself with a toothpick to have a fucking reason to get out, Cubbie excuses himself to go to the bathroom but before he goes, he leans down next to her, “How about we’re doing a little disappearing act, huh?”

“Oh god,” She huffs out but Cubbie doesn’t get her blatant disinterest. He just smiles at her.

“Think about it, I’ll be right back.”

Good riddance, is what she wants to say but doesn’t. Instead, she smiles a faux smile.

While he’s gone, she takes out her phone, shooting Bobby a text that she’ll probably won’t be that long when he feels someone is taking a seat in the booth opposite of her.

“Back alread—”

The word won’t come out because it’s not Cubbie who’s sitting across from her but Dean.

He has a cap on his head, is dressed casually in a black t-shirt underneath a blue plaid shirt. There are faint black circles under his eyes. He has shaved off his beard but from the length of the stubble, she can tell that he’s in the process of growing it out again.

“C’mon, Y/N, seriously? That guy?” He asks, sounding offended, and honestly, it’s not what she really wants the first thing out his mouth to be after not being on speaking terms for over a month.

“It’s none of your business, Dean.” She snaps at him.

“You’re right. It isn’t.” He agrees, “What is he? An accountant?”

“He has a name and he’s a magician.”

Dean barks out a laugh and even though it’s mean, she can’t help but smirk with him.

“His name is Cubbie.” She adds, which earns another hearty laugh from Dean.

“Cubbie the magician?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“I don’t know if he has a stage name,” Y/N shrugs, “He asked me if I wanna do a disappearing act with him.”

“Oh, he will disappear, alright,” Dean growls angrily.

She can’t read him. Why is he here, why is he crashing her blind date? So she asks, “Dean, what is this? Why are you here?”

“I’m here every week to see if you’ll be here.”

“You know that there are phones, right?”

“Would you have answered the phone if I called?” He challenges her and she holds his gaze. He’s right, she probably wouldn’t, even if she was hoping that he’d call but she doesn’t think that she would have picked it up because she doesn’t know if her heart can take what he’s going to tell her over the phone. “Yeah, I thought so. How’s Olivia?”

“She’s good. She enjoys being back at school. She’s going on a field trip in two weeks and I think I’m going to go along to chaperone.”

Honestly, Y/N has no idea why she’s telling him that. Why she easily falls into a conversion with him about little things. But it feels easy, it feels like meeting an old friend. Someone where she can just pick up where they left off, even if they haven’t seen each other for a long time. Dean was her friend, she can’t deny that, and she guesses the reason why she feels at ease is that her heart can’t forget it either.

“I can do that, too,” Dean suggests without even thinking twice.

“Dean, she’s none of your concern, we’re fine without you.” Her words might be too harsh but he needs a reminder that not everything revolves around him.

“Great.” He mumbles as Cubbie comes back from the bathroom. The poor guy stands there and is a little irritated by Dean’s presence.

“You ready to leave?” Cubbie asks, straight up ignoring Dean’s presence and she has to give him that. It takes balls. Dean’s not someone who can be ignored. He’s tall and broad and yeah, awfully good looking.

She stands up, nodding her head. Even if she has no intention of going anywhere with Cubbie, she also knows that she can’t stay here with Dean.

When she walks away, Dean holds her back by her wrist. The touch of him is almost too much to bear and she stills, has to close her eyes as she tries to breathe evenly.

“You’re leaving with him? Seriously?”

Opening her eyes to look at the source of the voice, she can clearly see the irritation on Dean’s face.

Pulling her hand from his hold, she brings it close to her chest, fearing that she’d reach out if she let her heart decide over her mind, “It’s none of your business, Dean. You had your chance but you blew it. I’m trying to move on.”

Dean stands up too and he’s close. The warmth radiates from him. Her body betrays her a little, sways a little closer to him. Cubbie is a couple of steps ahead but he stalls and looks back, waiting for her to follow him out. She wants to, she really does, it’s just so hard to move when the magnetic pull of Dean wraps itself around her.

“Now, say it again a little more convincingly. Make me believe it.” Dean demands with a gruff voice while he crosses his arms over his chest, his palms nearly disappearing into his armpits, as if he too, has to resist reaching out to touch her again when it’s not what she wants.

How is it possible that he still can read her like a book? It’s not fucking fair.

She narrows her eyes, staring him down. “You’re an ass, Dean.” She hisses and pushes out of the door, past Cubbie. When she’s out, she flags down a cab and gets in. Only when the driver rounds the street of the first block does she realize that she left Cubbie at the bar. Great. Now the act with her leaving the bar with some date is even less convincing to Dean.

God, she’s a failure.

“You know he still cares deeply about you, right?” Donna flops down on Y/N’s worn out couch with a bottle of beer in hand and Y/N walks over to join her friend with her glass of red wine.

The incident at the bar in which Dean had held a metaphorical pissing competition against an oblivious Cubbie was four days ago. Almost a distant memory. She hasn’t heard from the magician, but also it’s not really surprising since they didn’t even exchange their numbers and Donna has not mentioned him again. At least there’s that.

She frowns for a moment, “Cubbie? He barely knows me.”

Her friend rolls her eyes to the back and takes a pull at the bottle, “Dean, dummy!”

“Yeah, well, he has a hell of a way of showing it.” She grumbles, burying her face into her goblet and tips it back to take a big gulp.

Donna admitted after the incident that she watched them with amusement. Poor Cubbie was standing there lost and sulked away on his own. Apparently, Dean grinned brightly, and god, just the image of him being so joyful and cocky about her misery makes her want to smack him across the face. But for that, she would have to see him again, which she won’t. Nope. Not going there. She can’t move on when he keeps popping up.

“You don’t see it, do you?” Donna tilts her head that’s resting on the back of the old faded sofa, cocking her eyebrow as she asks.

“See what?” Y/N eyebrows match her friend’s.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N!” Donna huffs out, followed by a giggle. Okay, the woman should definitely not drink any more beer, also since tomorrow is Monday and she has to work. Y/N for her part, is still struggling with finding a job that would keep her head above water. She’s debating on taking two lesser paid jobs but then again, there would be no time left to spend with Liv and since she’s making Liv her priority, she keeps on searching. The blonde lays her hand on Y/N’s thigh, squeezes it, “He’s so fucking in love.”

With knitted eyebrows, she glares at her friend. Dean? In love? Has that been obvious? She shakes her head, “That’s not what he told me,”

Her friend sits up straight and turns to her before taking a big swig of her beer and slams it onto the coffee table. Y/N gets irritated, shushes her friend with a nudge of her elbow. Liv is sleeping next door, and Donna usually knows that she has to be fucking quiet.

“Oops,” Donna says with a shrug, and they both freeze to listen if Liv has woken up because of the noise. When they don’t hear a sound, they both breathe out in relief. Yeah, there’s no chance Donna will get another beer from her tonight. The blonde grins at her. A grin that spells mischief, “Have you ever thought that Dean Winchester, a guy who’s never been in love might not know how it feels to be in love? Have you ever thought that he might be so fucking gone on you and tries to identify his feelings but he can’t because he doesn’t fucking knows what it is?”

God, Donna talks a mile a minute and Y/N’s brain is having trouble catching on and processing.

Her friend pauses to wriggle her eyebrows at her but otherwise, Donna doesn’t say anything because she waits until it settles.

Memories of the last day on the beach flashed in her mind. She recalls him asking her how she knows when you love someone and her answer was you just know.

Could it be that he was struggling then already? He probably was but she was too deep in her own mind that she didn’t really notice.

“No,” She answers.

“No, what?” Donna asks.

“No, I have never thought that he doesn’t know how it feels to be in love. But I mean, he’s loved his mother, right? He loves Sam to a certain extent. He’s a grown ass man. He should know how he fucking feels.”

“My god, your skull is thicker than I thought.” Donna rolls her eyes dramatically. “Loving a parent is not the same as loving a partner, duh! And with Sam. There’s the bro thing, I guess? They love each other but it’s just all caveman-esque grunting and a lot of back-slapping involved. It’s how I love you,”

“You love me while you grunt and slap my back?”

“Shut up!” Donna laughs, “Anyway, where was I...oh! Yes. Listen, Y/N, maybe you’ve been too harsh on him. I mean, yeah, of course, you have Liv to care about but don’t tell me that Liv was heartbroken when you brought her back to this place.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth in thought. When she snaps out of it, she tips her wine glass back and empties it in one go.

Her friend watches her, pauses to let the things she said sink in. God, she doesn’t know why Donna’s only talking about Dean now. It’s been what? Almost two months. Where was Donna when she needed that kinda talk at the beginning when she left Dean? Donna was always here, her mind says, you just didn’t want to burden anyone and you thought that you could manage everything on your own.

“Fact is, Y/N. I’ve never seen him like this. He barely goes out, even if he’s invited to events. The gossip sites avoid him because he became a grump while picking up fights with photographers, and don’t even get me started on the last TV appearance where he only gave short, snappish answers, making the stupidly hot interviewer very uncomfortable. A couple of months ago, he would have charmed the woman and they probably would have fucked when the producer yelled cut.”

“How do you know they didn’t?” She asks, and she doesn’t even know why she asks because the thought of him hooking up and going back to being his old self does make her feel a little uncomfortable and admittedly, jealous.

“Honestly? Maybe because the interviewer told a tabloid that she refuses to interview Dean again because he’s a dick.”

“Well, he is a dick, she’s right.” She says drily, and she’s standing behind her opinion, it’s just now that Donna has said all those things that it makes her really wonder if she’s been too harsh to Dean. Maybe he just needed more time to figure out what he was feeling. But again, it’s too late now, isn’t it?

Ch. 27

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#legally yours #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

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