#and she KNOWS that she doesnt wield the same power as her father which is why she manufactures the war | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trashcatsnark · 1 year

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Just rambling because I really wanna be feral about my bg3 tav and dont have a place to really do so lmao but my little rotted brain wanted to play with the whole- tadpole fucks with previous conditions/characters shit. Ala making Astarion able to walk in sunlight and and seemingly making Gale's orb hungrier/less stable (judging off the first artefact helping him as usual but then the second one doesnt)

And I don't do fantasy often but since arcana Ive always wanted to play with a character with a enchantment/spell on them that makes people forget them shortly after meeting them. Unable to form lasting connections and living a life thats almost entirely in isolation (i love lonely transient bitches)

So, my tav, Petra (half wood elf, rogue/ranger) ran away from a shitass abusive life with her now dead partner who casted the enchantment on them both, so only they could remember one another. Being each other's entire world. Shit happens, her lover dies, but the enchantment is binded to their instrument (lover was a bard)

Which is all build up to say, she had and only wanted a cozy insignificant existence, because significance just means giving people the power to hurt her/being known means vulnerability and yet now thanks to the tadpole, she is being perceived and thats horrifying enough- i also really love the extent that Petra contradicts with many of the companions in terms of the idea of ambition and desire.

For so many of the companions (except Karlach really) insignificance is their like nightmare. Gale has both an innate hunger f for power because he derives his sense of self-worth from being a powerful, significant, and impressive wizard. Gale of Waterdeep, chosen of Mystra, deep down he does want a more simple life of relaxing in his tower and idly reading, and cooking for someone he loves but he can't ever seem to fully shake this feeling that when he sees power or opportunity he must grasp it because without talent, power, significance, magic, utility- he thinks he has no worth at all. Astarion craves power, once you start to enter act 2, he starts to talk about how he thinks the player has ambition and that maybe heyyy you can use that ambition for me? Because to him ambition and power, his own or using someone elses is how he'll find a way to permanently escape his abuse. He says he's not content to sculk in the shadows, what good is freedom if he doesn't have the power to make sure he'll never lose it. Wyll, the blade of frontiers, wanting desperately to help everyone- be a hero, make the sword coast proud in a way he never could make his father. He wants to matter, he wants to be important, he is forever burdened by the weight of his mistakes- the pact that binds him, never able to feel free of it and just wants the world to look at him and see something good.

Lae'zel fears insignificance, this is stated plain as day in the scene where she threatens the player, if you choose to probe her thoughts. She's doesn't care if she dies, if her skull splits, and tentacles writhe through her flesh- she's terrified it will happen before her queen ever knows her name, that she'll never be more than a failed soldier, that she'll never wield the silver sword or ride a red dragon. That she'll die before she feels she ever mattered.

Shadowheart wants to be a dark justiciar, she wants to be of value to her god, she wants to matter- similarly to Lae'zel, ironic given their hostility, but it is the same ultimate goal. She doesn't want to be no one, she doesn't just want to be another follower who's struck with pain, mind wiped tirelessly, and nothing to show for it- she wants her pain to have purpose, meaning, even if it's just serving the god causing it. Karlach is already a bit of an oddity in terms of, she never really seems to be scrounging for power and signficance and in fact- her power, her strength, her ability is what led to Zariel choosing her as her attack dog. So, while she's a bit more similar in not having a heavy desire for power, ambition, and a goal beyond- not wanting to be hurt, the desire for freedom and life on her terms. They still differ so greatly in terms of- Karlach lost out on getting to be a part of life for so long, she misses people, connection, and she doesn't want to avoid life because it hurt her, she wants to take back the parts stolen from her- she wants to live and be apart of the world finally again on her terms. Even if it kills her.

And my brain just kind of buzzing and feral for this idea of how she somehow finds herself thrusted into not only being perceived, being surrounded by people who are learning who she is, knowing parts of her she hasn't shared, and also being asked to... lead. When it's never truly been something she craves and even overwhelms her, but it finds her regardless and how she helps ground for many of them their grappling for power/ambition while for her they help her find that... she deserves to be a part of the world around her, that she can touch the world around her and make a difference. And she's no less guilty of wanting something that's bad for her, that she's been alive but not truly living and returning to that loneliness once the tadpole is plucked out won't be peace, won't be contentment, isn't freedom, because it was never that to begin with- she was just languishing in isolation and grief as a living ghost.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #wyll ravengard #shadowheart #laezel #karlach cliffgate #karlach #bg3 tav #petra of nowhere in particular #something something the balance between being desperate to prove you matter and resigning yourself to the idea you never can #something something the fight of needing to be seen to feel like you matter but the horrifying ordeal of being known #will you forever languish for more knowing you'll never be sated or do you starve yourself so you may learn to live with hunger

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deonideatta · 3 years

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@ohcoolnice @whyyoudo I couldn't get the concept of han seok and junwoo being two different people out of my head so on this vincenzo-less sunday I give you a loose rewrite of canon where jun woo is the third jang brother and han seok's twin!

They were born jang han seok and jang han sol, and han seok is the older twin. They were separated when they were very young, because of han seok and an incident which ended up with han sol in the hospital. It was supposed to be temporary, but one of the house staff took pity on the poor child and smuggled him away. His name was changed to jun woo and they didn't find him again until both him and han seok were adults

They grew up very differently, han seok under the jang family, tormenting han seo and becoming the unhinged, solitary figure we all know and hate, and jun woo in an adopted family somewhere across the country into the dorky, sweet intern we knew for a bit and loved

Both of them somehow ended up spending time in america, though neither knew and they never met. Han seok because his father sent him there and jun woo because he got a scholarship to go to university there

Very few people now know about han seok himself, much less his twin brother. Before han seok's chairman takeover, most people think han seo is the only jang child

Jun woo knows he has a twin brother, but he doesnt know who he is. He can't remember his name or his face, or those of his real family. When he receives an offer for a job at wusang, he takes it as a learning opportunity and accepts

The only one who has all the cards is han seok, and so when he hears that jun woo has become an intern at wusang he decides its time to play them

So he spends people to observe and record jun woo, and after things start heating up and chayenzo declares war on babel, he kidnaps and threatens him, and tells him that he has to let him cosplay as him so that he can scope out the increasing threat

This is not how jun woo had ever thought meeting his long lost twin brother would go. He tries to put up a fight, but han seok hits him in the stomach with the hockey stick he's wielding like some kind of ancient weapon so hard that he spits out blood, and that takes the fight out of him

Han seok crouches down in front of jun woo and stares him in the eye, and it's like looking into a mirror except his reflection is staring at him with chillingly blank eyes.

It's the same for han seok, except his reflection looks back with open terror. The feeling it gives him is unpleasant and han seok doesn't like seeing weakness like that on a face that could pass for his own. But if he wants to get what he wants, he can't harm his twin too much just yet

Visually they're identical, so han seok passes perfectly for jun woo. He doesn't get all his mannerisms right at first, but with practice basically no one can tell the difference unless they look hard enough to notice that han seok's eyes are always empty even when he's copying jun woo's biggest grin.

A part of han seok feels a flash of jealousy at the fact that his twin has had a pleasant and fulfilling life while he's had to live neglected in the shadows for so long, so he takes extra satisfaction in the way jun woo's face falls when he appears in front of him for the first time dressed in his work attire, indistinguishable from jun woo on the average week day, backpack and all.

To spite him even further, han seok mimics his cheery, enthusiastic way of speaking, smiling so widely that it's mocking, and embraces the glee that jun woo's downtrodden expression gives him

He does hate having to curl his hair to copy jun woo's usual hairstyle though

At this point han seo finds out he has a second older brother, because han seok wants him to be able to continue to act normal and not freak out if he sees him cosplaying as jun woo

This brother is identical to his other one but actually really nice to him and it's both incredible and completely terrifying. It takes han seo a while to warm up to jun woo because he looks so much like han seok, as well as for fear of han seok's reaction, but he gets there

Whenever they meet (usually bc of han seok) the two bond over their shared fear and hatred of han seok. There's twice the himbo power. Incredible

Jun woo had had no idea that he had a younger (half) brother, and his heart goes out to him for having to live under han seok's abuse for so long

So he makes an effort to get to know han seo when han seok isn't around to yell at them. Han seo appreciates this a lot, because jun woo is like han seok on his incredibly rare good days except much better and all the time

Being a veteran at Handling Han SeokTM, he gives jun woo tips on how to get on han seok's good side and avoid getting things thrown at you

Jun woo tells han seo that one day when they get free of han seok they should take a trip to disneyland. Han seo, who has never been to an amusement park before, makes him promise it

Han seok's babel boss reveal presentation goes more or less the same way, except it's also a twin reveal and choi myung hee and mr han have to deal with the fact that not only is their intern the babel chairman's twin brother, but they have also been switching places regularly

Meanwhile cha young, who is out there living her best anti big pharma life, thinks jun woo is acting weird. Some days he's super bubbly, almost too bubbly, and on other days he's more subdued, seemingly a bit on edge.

Biggest red flag comes when she, him and vincenzo eat spicy food together

The spicy food tolerance gene missed han seok altogether and endowed han seo and jun woo with its power

So though he doesn't protest when cha young orders the extremely spicy dish jun woo usually gets for him, han seok struggles to finish the food almost as much as vincenzo does

Cha young thinks that's really sus, but she keeps her questions to herself because there's really no explanation for it unless jun woo was replaced by a government clone or aliens. Or his secret identical twin. Hah, imagine

She files the thought away for later and they continue to dig into the man behind han seo and babel. They find out about han seok, but there's no remaining information about jun woo in the files because the jang family thought losing him was supremely embarrassing so they tried to make sure no one knew

Meanwhile han seok is super happy he's gained another protective shield. If babel gets into trouble he can force han seo to go to jail for him, and if he ever gets personally exposed he can make jun woo take the fall for him. Genius

For that purpose he makes sure no one except the babel quartet know about him and jun woo being twins

He finds that it's interesting living as jun woo though, people interact with him in a way they never do when he's han seok. Jun woo's neighbours say hello to him when he goes by, and the lady in the local convenience store makes small talk with him and asks how his new job is going. And cha young is an incredibly unusual person, han seok finds that he has some level of attraction to her, and enjoys her company

While han seo is a puppet, jun woo is a mask, a protective measure and a means to explore the world, and han seok mentally pats himself on the back for having such useful brothers

But he has to stop spending time pretending to be jun woo for now bc he knows his identity is at risk of being discovered by jipuragi squad as they hunt down the person who exposed vincenzo as a mafia member

So when vincenzo does find out that han seok is allegedly jun woo, and tells cha young, it actually isn't han seok she's sitting with when she receives the news

Naturally she doesn't know this, and she feels supremely betrayed

And when vincenzo breaks into 'han seok's' house, it's actually jun woo's house. Jun woo, who was not expecting the mafia to break into his house, is understandably scared. The kneeling gun scene goes down, except there is no bravado on jun woo's part and he's genuinely terrified

Vincenzo is arrested as planned, and jun woo meets cha young in the police station as she goes to help vincenzo

She's furious, and jun woo honestly denies that it was him who killed her father and the babel victims, unable to expose that it was han seok because he's scared of the consequences and because it sounds like such a ridiculous excuse

Poor guy gets the double slap intended for his twin brother

When han seok hears about it he laughs a lot. Jun woo is understandably angry about his reaction, but he is forced to seethe in silence

Nevertheless han seok decides to go into hiding (and forces jun woo to do the same somewhere else, hiring guards to make sure he doesn't leave) because even if chayenzo think jun woo is the babel chairman, they still have the same face

Unfortunately for han seok this means that vincenzo's spy squad see him going into his own safe house, and he gets to be the victim of the drugged water

After a few more near death scares courtesy of the local mafia man, choi myung hee suggests he reveal himself as chairman so he doesn't die at the hands of vincenzo unknown and like a loser. And so he does

At the expense of jun woo, whose identity has more or less been stolen now, and who is now indefinitely confined to the family property han seok had him hide in

The war begins all out, and jipuragi squad works hard at removing han seok's support circle, starting with daechang daily, then the anti-union activities

Han seo watches all this unfold and starts to wonder how he can get his better older brother free while taking down the other one

The answer comes to him when he sees chayenzo cover han seok with pigs blood. They're the only people who seemed to consistently be able to one up han seok, and he has only heard good things about cha young from jun woo, not to mention the fact that surely even han seok can't defeat a mafia member in the long run

So he asks mr han to help him meet vincenzo, and he tells him he has twin older brothers and asks for his help in betraying the bad one and saving the good one

Vincenzo thinks he's messing with him, and turns down han seo's request to be on the same side

But then jipuragi squad opens the guillotine file, and there below han seok's escapades in homicide and the details on han seo's suffering, is the shocking secret of the jang family, the existence of a 3rd jang brother, han seok's twin brother jang han sol

Cha young remembers how jun woo hadn't been able to eat spicy food that one time and suddenly everything makes sense

For his part vincenzo remembers what han seo had said and mentally kicks himself for thinking it was a lie

They puzzle over what this could mean and where han seok's twin brother could be now. Is the man who revealed himself as the babel chairman the real han seok? Are both of them evil? Is one being used by the other?

Cha young silently wonders which times jun woo had just been jun woo, and which times she had been eating lunch or joking with han seok the babel chairman and serial murderer

They decide they have to find the other jang twin in order to answer their questions

Problem is that he's been absent from work for the past 2 weeks, and when vincenzo breaks into his house, it looks like it hasn't been lived in for quite a while

The trail seems to lead nowhere, and they turn their attention back to tearing down babel, with the new knowledge sitting uncomfortably in the backs of their minds

And then han seo shows up at the jipuragi office in all his coffee wielding glory to plead his cooler older brother's case again

This time, to han seo's surprise, they listen to him patiently when he tells them about his older brothers. He makes sure to stress that the only one he wants to betray is han seok, and that jun woo has done nothing wrong

If the fact that they've read the part of the guillotine file that talked about what han seo had had to suffer under han seok makes it easier for them to believe him, he doesn't have to know that

The only way they can strike at han seok and simultaneously clear jun woo of suspicion is to reveal that they're twins

To do that they have to find jun woo. Han seo doesn't know where exactly he is, but he tells them that han seok would probably try and use jun woo as a shield should he ever be sent to jail

The guillotine file gives them what they need to force the prosecution to put han seok behind bars under fabricated charges. It wouldn't last long once actual investigation starts, but hopefully it will be enough

Han seok takes the bait, unknowingly, and shuttles jun woo off in his place. There's not much that irritates him as much as the thought of going to jail, and this is the perfect chance to test jun woo's loyalty. It also gives him a blind spot to operate, while his enemies think he's in jail. You can't dodge a hidden dagger and all that.

When the jipuragi squad watches the arrest of the babel chairman on the news, there's a nervous hunch to 'han seok's' shoulders, and the impassive smile he seems to be going for isn't quite right

Vincenzo and cha young go to visit him in jail

When they first see him, cha young immediately feels bad, despite herself. He looks like he hasn't slept well in ages, and his expression is far from his usual cheer, sober and sullen. This had better really be jun woo, she does not want to ever feel pity for jang han seok

It is jun woo, and he really hasn't slept well in ages, as reuniting with han seok and his violent tendencies has reawakened the memories from his childhood in the jang household that he had supressed, causing all kinds of nightmares

He doesn't look up as they enter and sit opposite him. Cha Young takes charge, and vincenzo lingers behind her, a solid and present support

When she speaks his head snaps up at the sound of her voice, before he seems to want to correct himself and looks away

When he looks at her again there are no traces of jun woo in his face, his expression haughty and unbothered

It's chillingly like the han seok they had sat across following the pig's blood incident, and cha young has to work hard to push down the flare of anger the expression causes

She decides not to beat around the bush. She presses the printed page of the jang han sol section of the guillotine file up against the glass, and watches as jun woo's eyes widen, the facade falling as quickly as he had donned it

Jun woo takes in the picture of the two identical little boys and has to squeeze his eyes shut at the wave of fear that hits him

In its wake is a small flare of hope. If they know he isn't han seok, maybe they can help him

Cha young watches as jun woo seems to deflate at the sight of the document, and now she's sure it isn't han seok, because she's never seen him allow himself to show any form of weakness

When jun woo looks up again, there is determination mixed in with the weariness in his eyes

A while later, cha young exhales shakily as they walk out, vincenzo's hand steady and comforting on her back. She's surprised at how relieved she is to know that the jun woo she had known had not been an elaborate set up, a con which had seen her at some of her lowest moments. Her heart goes out to jun woo, but there's an undeniable joy at the confirmation that her friend still exists, because it means he can be saved

The plan is simply to collect evidence of the fact that jun woo is not han seok. Best case scenario a video of them together, though a good photo will do as well. It would also work if they can somehow get footage of han seok out and about while jun woo is in jail

The first obvious course of action is to look for cctv footage. They hunt high and low through the cameras at babel, at wusang, and around han seok and jun woo's houses, but the searches are largely fruitless

With han seo's help, they locate the safehouses han seok likes to hide out in, and vincenzo sends men to snoop around each property. This ultimately pays off when, at the 3rd property, han seok is spotted standing by a window.

The second stage begins with Mr ahn's help, and they get a swat team to raid the house han seok is hiding out in.

Fully believing that everyone thinks you're in jail makes you sloppy, and han seok doesn't see it coming until the black vehicles are speeding down his driveway

He doesn't stop to take anything much, he grabs a hockey stick and he runs, wild and angry, out into the dark of the woods surrounding the house

Vincenzo watches him charge into the forest on the cctv footage retrieved from the house and smirks

The footage hits the news the next day. The headline is in large, bold letters, "Chairman Jang Han Seok spotted at holiday residence, despite prison sentence." The picture below the tagline serves as the final blow, side by side images of Han Seok sprinting away from the house, and an identical man sitting demurely in a jail cell.

As the story breaks, people begin to step forward, old employees of the jang household who had known and seen both han seok and han sol. There's nothing like good gossip to get people talking, and the shocking secret of the jang twins makes the rounds in record time

Jun woo's identity is rechecked, and he is set free

Cha young, vincenzo and han seo go to meet him when he gets out. Han seo tackles him in a hug, and cha young smacks him heartily on the back. Vincenzo doesn't react much but he does shoot jun woo a smile.

Han seok hasn't been seen in days, and jun woo is unbelievably happy to be himself again

It isn't over yet though, babel still needs to pay and han seok still needs to be found. Search parties comb through the woods around the house regularly, but there's still no sign of him. In the meantime, jipuragi prepares their final attack.

Han seo lets jun woo stay with him, and the house is fortified by multiple levels of guards

It's still mildly unsettling for han seo to have someone with han seok's face in his house, in his own safe space, but jun woo makes for a far better housemate than han seok ever was, and gradually he relaxes

For a few days, despite the tension of not knowing where your psychopath brother who probably really wants to kill you could be lurking, when there is a spare moment in the evening, han seo and jun woo catch up on years of lost brotherhood

Han seo tells him about his mother, and jun woo talks about his adopted family. Neither of them mention han seok, they skirt around his name like he doesn’t exist, like speaking their trauma aloud to someone who had been there too would make it too real to bear. Jun woo knows he had gotten the better end of the deal, he had been separated from han seok pretty early. Han seo had lost too many years of his life to their psychopath brother, and jun woo isn't sure he knows how to confront that, or how to comfort him. He hopes he can learn

Han seo wants to ask what exactly had happened to lead to jun woo being removed from the jang household and separated from han seok, but he doesnt dare. Maybe later, maybe when they aren't still worried about what han seok could do to them

Then the jipuragi squad files their lawsuit against babel. Han seok still hasn't been heard from, and they begin to wonder if he got lost in the woods. Maybe he fell of a cliff, or into a river

Either way, the trial goes spectacularly badly for babel, aided by the fact that vincenzo had threatened the unjust judge before the trial. The verdict is guilty, and it serves as a means to kick-start further investigation into previously dismissed babel trials

The day after the trial, han seok reappears

He was lost in the woods for a while, but he found his way out and laid low for a while plotting a way to get back at vincenzo and cha young for destroying his backup plans and destroying his family and company's reputation. He will also have to deal with his traitorous brothers.

It's a big blow, but it's not one he cannot recover from. All he has to do is get his revenge, terrify his brothers back into submission, and go back to his plans for his babel.

So he requests the kidnapping of cha young, and he gets his men to attack the guards at han seo's house and take her there, cornering his brothers. He strolls in when he gets word that everything is done, cocky and confident, twirling a gun between his fingers

He takes in the open fear on han seo's face, the frightened anger on jun woo's face, and the sneer on cha young's face, and he laughs. They are consistent to the very end, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

All that’s left is vincenzo, and a short while after a brief and taunt filled phone call he arrives, eyes wide and angry. Han seok does not waste time in pointing his gun at the mafia man. He stops where he is, still glaring at han seok, eyes darting regularly to cha young

Because he is never one to turn down some fun, in a bid to further anger vincenzo, han seok crouches down and points the gun to cha young's head. He watches at vincenzo's face twists with anger and worry, and he revels in it. Out of the corner of his eye he sees jun woo has moved in front of han seo, like he's protecting him, and han seok wants to laugh

He speaks to cha young in jun woo's voice to spite them both, mockingly sounding out his words in his twin's bright tone

But suddenly vincenzo drops to his knees to plead for cha young's life, and han seok grins in satisfaction. The satisfaction is shortlived, however, as something solid suddenly crashes into the back of his head

It dazes him enough that he lets go of cha young for a moment, and she takes the chance to headbutt him so hard that he drops the gun. Vincenzo pounces almost immediately, and aims a kick to han seok's head, knocking him out

The last thing he sees before everything fades to black is his spitting image standing a distance away, holding a dented art deco lamp.

When they are sure han seok has been knocked out for real, the relief that sweeps the room is palpable. Han seo slumps down and jun woo moves to check on him as vincenzo unties cha young

Jun woo moves to call the police, but vincenzo tells him not to.

Instead, he makes a call of his own, and soon two men enter and carry out the still unconscious han seok. Jun woo wants to ask where they’re taking him, but there’s a dark glint in vincenzo’s eyes that makes him swallow the question.

None of them see han seok again until he’s on the news. His body is found in a river near the family property he had first run away from, and the consensus seems to be that he fell in and drowned while lost in the woods

The whole matter has vincenzo written all over it, but no one is going to ask about it

Han seo and jun woo hold a funeral for him because it would be suspicious if they didn’t, but they work hard to make it as underwhelming as possible. When han seo cant stop shaking (whether it’s in weariness, relief, or anger at any traces of grief, jun woo can’t tell, and honestly neither can han seo) as they stand in front of the portrait of their deceased brother, jun woo silently rests a hand on his back.

After that is over with, they take a break to have a small ‘han seok is gone’ party, and then they both throw themselves into work

Han seo takes charge of babel, firing all of han seok’s people and working hard at cleaning up the stain of corruption he’d left behind. He works hard to transform the company’s reputation, and begins the process of compensating all the people who had been wronged by them in some shape or form

Jun woo leaves wusang and starts his own law firm. Han seo makes the company his first customer, and jun woo tries hard to run his firm without any traces of what made lawyers at wusang such monsters

Cha young and him have a friendly law firm rivalry going, much to vincenzo’s amusement

When they aren’t working, jun woo and han seo hang out a lot. Jun woo is determined to replace han seo’s memories of a terrible older brother with better ones with a more pleasant older brother. Han seo still struggles sometimes with seeing han seok in jun woo, but he’s more than happy to overwrite han seok’s image in his mind with jun woo’s

A few months after everything is stable again, they do take that trip to disneyland. The picture they take outside the park is framed on both their desks.

The next year, vincenzo and cha young get married, and han seo and jun woo attend the wedding. They bring expensive gifts, and jun woo cries like it’s his own family getting married. Cha young rolls her eyes at him, but she’s pleased to have him there

It will take a while to move on fully from the damage han seok caused, but they are all working hard at it. Because now han seok is gone for good, and everything is fine.

bonus

The Incident that led to han sol becoming jun woo happened when he and han seok were 6 and han seok, having decided that they had to see who was the superior twin, challenged him to a fight to the death

It was traumatic to the point that jun woo repressed all the memories of his childhood with han seok

Han seo once called jun woo hyung when speaking to han seok, and han seok got really angry and threw a lamp at him

Before vincenzo finishes off han seok, cha young slaps him six times to make up for the two slaps she mistakenly gave jun woo

After everything blows over, jun woo takes han seo with him the next time he goes to visit his adopted family. They dote on him like he's their family too, and han seo feels more loved than he has since he lost his mother. He says so to jun woo, and from then on he takes him along whenever he visits them

Cha young, jun woo and han seo meet up sometimes to eat spicy food, both because they like it but also to spite han seok’s memory just that little bit more

Because han seok died before he could find out about vincenzo’s mother, she’s alive and well and vincenzo visits her regularly

#the way tumblr blocked me from posting this dsfsd #3 failed attempts at posting and some rewriting later here it is #my attempt at dealing with no new vincenzo content by constructing elaborate alternate universes #anyway stan jun woo #han seok? i dont know him #vincenzo kdrama #tvn vincenzo #vincenzo fic #vincenzo fanfiction #vincenzo headcanons #imagine if we'd gotten this tho #the potential for misunderstandings #plus han seo getting a biological brother that is nice to him #immaculate #kdrama #might post this on ao3 #vincenzo #jang jun woo #jang han seok

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villainanders · 3 years

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okay current trc dragon age au concepts

so in my mind this is like a dao au. like the basic plot of origins is happening but raven cycle characters. so like ok:

- gansey: human sword and shield warrior. also, the warden. like specifically as in: you, the player character, the hero of ferelden. it’s because he’s the leader who brings the whole group together, but also the themes of this being your second chance at life only to realize this path was also just supposed to lead you to your death. anyway i imagine him having a human noble background with a storyline that mirrors the story of how he first died in trc: he strays off the grounds of his family castle during a party, only in this instead of being stung by bees, he gets attacked by the darkspawn that are emerging because of the coming blight and gets the taint. luckily duncan (or whoever is replacing duncan in this idk agkljhaga) is there and reveals that he can survive if he becomes a grey warden

- henry: human rogue archer (i THINK...). ok so in my mind henry ends up getting the alistair role in this of being the other recently joined gray warden who survives ostagar. not 100% set on why he joins the wardens, though i’m imagining his family is nobility but with some questionable ties to illegal magical artifacts trades (maybe between tevinter and various circles?). so the kidnapping situation still plays out perhaps with him just being older and i can see duncan (i’ll be real i really am just imaging duncan among all the trc characters LMAO) or maybe other wardens in general ending up helping him and henry deciding he’s Done With This Shit and wanting to join up with a group doing something good. anyhow him and gansey survive ostagar the last living grey wardens, when they meet

- ronan: human mage. in this au ronan is very much the morrigan equivalent which is sooo funny to me. he’s an apostate raised by his apostate father (who got wealthy by being a fence for the aforementioned illegal magical artifact trade) and after niall dies things go south in the lynch family so fast (declan is trying to work to protect his family from being caught by templars but also like being an asshole about it. ronan doesnt get it at all, maybe thinks declan is planning on turning him in TO the circle) either way ronan just leaves to strike out on his own, ends up saving two grey wardens in the korcari wilds, and proceeds to help them recover while negging them. ends up teaming up with them because gansey just has that effect on people, and also saving the world sounds like a good goal

- blue: elven dual wielding warrior. i really like the idea of her family being dalish elves! maura is a mage and their clan’s keeper, and blue hates that because she’s not a mage, she’s not able to be part of that that world and that part of their culture in the same way her mother is. i really like the idea of her finding an eluvian a la merrill and also being dedicated to restoring it, but in this case it’s motivated by her wanting to prove herself to her family (also, mirror magic!). when the boys meet with the dalish about the treaties, blue ends up joining their party intially because she wants to come with them to the circle of magi to do more research and hopefully find some answers

- noah: human dual wielding rogue. he’s just cole....... that is all we need to know. i’m not sure how noah enters the story (i think he probably ends up showing up in a random encounter, maybe helps them with some bad guys and is super... Off but very sweet and asks to tag along) but eventually as we unravel his backstory, we learn that the original noah and whelk were circle apprentices seven years ago who were fooling around with blood magic. whelk got illusions of power and tried to summon a demon and sacrificed noah in the process, but instead summoned a spirit who ended up taking noah’s form just like cole, not quite sure what happened to him or who he was yet. (meanwhile whelk stays in the circle and ends up being the uldred equivalent during the circle quest)

- adam: elven mage. adam grew up in an alienage until he was around 11 or 12 and began to first show signs of magic and was taken to the circle. i think he has complicated feelings about the circle, because on one hand, he knows what the problems with it are, but he also can’t help but feel like being taken to the circle saved him and agrees with the need for it to exist. him and ronan fight endlessly about this. either way, he is interested in at least a temporary ticket out and after helping them at the circle, he gets permission to join their party to help out. i also really like the idea of them eventually going back to blue’s clan for a bit, and him being taught old elven magic from persephone :)

and that’s it that’s the party! in my brain this IS a video game and you get to romance everyone as gansey. if you don’t romance adam he can get together with either ronan or blue depending on if you’re romancing one of them and if you’re not romancing either you get a dialogue that pushes him in one direction or another. if adam/blue happens they break up but if adam/ronan happens they’re still together in the endgame :^)

#a long very silly post from me thank you for indulging me #chloe.txt

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katsukikitten · 5 years

Text

Princess 9

You wake in a cold sweat from what feels like a dreamless sleep. It worries you, a dream you can still feel the fear from but not remember makes your skin crawl.

You scent copper in the air and a flash of your Mother's eyes cloud your vision. You sit up slowly fisting your hair before you realize what this dream means.

And what the pull of power in the sea headed in this direction means. You look over the King's sleeping form and scoff softly as you rise dressing in your black outfit with the white fur.

You head down the hill by the mouth of the market intending to take a sharp left when a voice calls out in the quiet.

"Ah my queen" Reo is up before the sun has a chance to rise above the hills, setting out offerings for the King. He gives you his shadowed back as he rummages through his trunks.

"I am not his wife." More bite in your voice than usual as you think of Katsuki's scarlet eyes.

Thinking of them clouded with emotion when you misted that man.

Fear, disgust.

"I never said you were. You do not need to be wed for me to accept you as one of my sovereigns." His voice is like ointment, "I have something for you. Something I think will please you greatly."

He produces a circlet crown of teeth and pearls, you stare down at the item.

At the teeth and you swallow the small lump in your throat.

"I...." You hesitate as he motions for to bow so he may place it on your head.

"Power and confidence, emotions gifted by your people." Reo adjusts it a final time and when you stay bowed he gives you an odd look.

"Thank you." You bow deeper, having wished to have anything close to a person like Reo in your life before.

You wanted to keep him safe.

You will keep him safe.

Especially from what is coming. Even if it means misting every person you lay eyes on.

You will bloody your hands again and again to keep Reo and what is slowly becoming your people, safe.

He places his wrinkled hand onto your shoulder pulling you from war.

"I should be thanking you. His majesty has matured greatly in the short time you've been here. We hardly saw him before you came." He makes quick work of setting up his stall, "I believe you're going to be late for that meeting."

You rush towards the call of power.

To the pull of familar blood.

Reo is right, you are late as the sun gleams over the figure painting him in a golden light as he comes into view.

Making him seem Godly further fueling your urge to make him fall from his pedistol.

Sink the ship even abandoning him here, maimed and having to fight for his own survival much we you both have done to any other scout sent to threaten the High Kingdom.

But you could also use talking to your advantage.

"Ah my sweet sister! How long has it been?" Ares says cooly as you stand before him.

Having to look up at him, as you always have in life.

But he never seemed to look down on you before. Not until now.

You would be a fucking liar if you said your heart wasn't hurting as you stared into his face, teeth grinding as you think.

But somethings never change as you notice that he does not have a single weapon using his same old tactic of seeming harmless when you two would first make land fall on a nation you were to declare war.

All the while he would lie in wait and use his opponent's own weapons against them. No one lived to tell the tale that he could control any weapon. Most thought he at least had to touch it.

Which is exactly why you brought just yourself.

You were a weapon but one Ares nor your Father could ever wish to control.

"Pity about your pretty face. It's scarring quite badly." He grabs onto your chin gently tilting it this way and that. You jerk away and he smiles.

"Do you know why I began training you?" Ares asks but you do not answer as you stare at him with steeled eyes.

"I did it because I knew your beautiful face was going to be prized and I knew of your, what I thought then, inescapable fate." His eyes linger on the jagged scar, only the middle still struggling to heal, "I couldn't stand the thought of you being wed and some man taking...stealing from you to sire some wretched seed. Taking advantage of your tender heart. I wanted you to be able to fight. To be worthy to choose your own man in Father's eyes. But it seems I've hardened your heart too much."

"You are naive to have ever thought I would have a choice." You snarl and he laughs.

"You seem to have one now. Was I to get an invitation to the wedding?" Ares laughs again as you grit your teeth.

"Before you speak you must see it through my eyes. You are adorned in artic fox fur, dragon's teeth and mother pearls that are reserved only for queens here." He smiles again, fingering a dangling tooth, his eyes never waivering as he continues, "You were smart only to bring the Prince."

Your head snaps to look over your shoulder to see Bakugou Katsuki standing on the tall hill, watching. He makes no move to join the two of you.

"Judging by your expression he came uninvited?" You glare at the blonde as Ares relishes the exchange.

You turn your ire onto your brother, eyes narrowing trying hard not to take his bait.

"Heh. Only my sister would be furious with the man who loves her. Any other woman would be furious had their lover not shown an inkling of worry for them." He brushes a stray strang of hair behind your ear, "You should be thankful that of all the people to tail you it was him. He is one of the few who is confident enough in his quirk to not carry a single blade."

"He doesnt love me. He doesn't even trust me." You grab onto Ares' wrist staring him into his golden eyes, "Enough toying with me."

He is silent for a long moment, reading into your eyes and body language as if he were rereading his favorite book.

"He isnt underestimating you if that's what you think. He clearly has some sort of affinity to you. What other man would watch a woman carve her face in front of thousands and *smile* about it." He removes his wrist from your grip, "Not to mention you've been here for what? Months? I hear you share the same bed but what is more shocking is you two share the same bath. An act more intamite than sex, more deep of a bond than marriage. To leave oneself so vulnerable in front if another in this warrior culture."

"How would you know anything about this fucking place?" You snarl so darkly that Ares' eye brows raise

"I have the same eyes and ears you do. Except you already took out one informant, a little late in the game though." He smiles waving for a figure to come from the dunes behind him, shock paints your features, "But I always had a back up. Did you?"

He shoves the hand maid you two once shared, you two once called friend, to the ground. She is seemingly unharmed until Ares pries her mouth open to reveal shortened flesh cauterized deep in her mouth.

"You..." You stare in horror and she cries, clutching onto the black fabric of your pants leg.

"So how did you kill him? The usual? Drowning him? Making him whither?" Ares goes on. You cannot believe he could be so cruel to what was his lover.

You stopped using her for information on Ares when he confessed to her and he...he maimed her. You let your palm pass over the curative of her skull as you bite back rage, tears.

"Hello? I need to know the details of his demise. I was kind enough to show you what happened to yours." He smiles cruelly and when you cannot meet his eyes he knows. He pulls Asui to her feet by the crook of her arm placing her small frame behind him. You can do nothing to protect her right now.

"Oh, you must have done it *that* way? Turned him to nothing but a pile of clothes and mist. And by the guilt on your face you must have done it in front of," He tilts his head to see your turned away face your eyes ever so slightly go over your shoulder, "someone you love. Must have been the prince then."

Rage pulls your muscles into action as you hold his blood, lifting him from his feet as you near closer.

"Predictable." He laughs, "My hot headed sister like my hot headed Father."

You squeeze tighter as you fight the pull of his blood and the urging of your wrath.

Screaming to be freely wielded outside of this mortal body. You give in just a touch, his eyes bulge as his laugh turns into a gasp.

Still he finds air to taunt.

"When you last commanded my blood I could barely think to breathe. Yet you hold me here with barely any force at all. Why is that?" His voice just above a rasp.

"You better choose the right side of this war brother." A growl so dark that you see his eyes cloud with an emotion you do not see often.

"I believe I already have." He struggles against your grip.

You fight the urge to smile until suddenly something tugs on your conscious in the bushes. Their power no longer shielded by sheer will power.

You hear the familiar sound of a sharpened metal tip singing through the air finding perfect purchase in your always tender calf. Slicing straight through muscled flesh, grazing the back of your fiba.

"PRINCESS!" A roar so raw that it pulls at your stomach and causes Ares's muscles to twitch as you drop him.

"Oh tell me again how he does not have an inkling of care for you." He rubs his throat from the invisible grip.

"You and the fucking legs!" You scream as you lift your right hand to handle the rest of the now rapidly THROWN arrows headed in your direction. But before you can change the direction with the persuasion of moved moisture heated explosions obliterate the arrows.

All but one that was thrown in the opposite direction moments before your arrival, one that Ares had slowed before this moment allowing it to return to it's full momentum. The metal bites deeply into your side with such precision that it flies past boned ribs with ease settling centimeters from puncturing your left lung.

You steel yourself and do not allow the pain to consume your thoughts as you dull your senses. Katsuki rushes to your side with murderous intent ready to RIP them limb from fucking limb with his own striked ire.

But you pull the two men by their blood unknowingly saving them from an early demise.

Bringing them before you in panting breaths that both know are not from exertion or the pain of your wound.

No they know from their boiling blood that you're moments away from making them a mist on the sea air.

"Tell Father that I'm not playing around. I will end this war swiftly and I *will* crown myself High Queen even if I must do it with one foot in the grave." You seethe, power whipping around like water whips, the ocean tearing up the sides of the mountains to answer your call, "Punctuate my promise with the bodies of those who do not survive."

You toss them both over the cliff towards their slowly sinking boat, they both sink deep into the thrashing ocean as Katsuki pulls you to him by your waist.

"I'm fine!" Water whips all around him but he is untouched. You wheeze from the deafening wails of power gushing through your veins, pulling on your bones begging to be used further.

"Says the woman with two arrows protruding from her sunkissed flesh." He bites, pulling you by your forearm damning you for not swallowing your pride for a moment for him to carry you to your shared chambers.

You hobble behind his much too fast pace, spitting blood, once twice as the old stinging feeling of your cheek returns. You growl aloud when you hear voices of Mina and Momo mixed with the laughter of a male.

"You called for them again?" You snap pausing outside of the yurt. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before he looks over his shoulder.

"Yes to see if you needed those two stitches replaced." His eyes blister over the wound and you snarl.

Baring your teeth with such animosity one would think you beast. Still he waits for your approach and when you do not follow he makes way to grab onto your arm.

"You are truly wretched." He hisses as he pulls you past the heavy fabric. The room silences and eyes widen at the blood oozing into the polished hardwood floor in alarmingly fat drops.. Their lingering doe like stares doing nothing but bringing the burning pain of your side and leg to the forefront of your mind.

"Princess!" Kirishima calls, his own wrapped and bruised skin poking at the veil of memories you are already trying to suppress.

You breathe in needles, your patience thinning with every throb around the foreign metal in your body. You hobble to the bath trying so fucking hard to control your rapid breathing from your rising irritation. You wrap small fingers around smooth wood before you pull the first arrow from screaming flesh. Unbothered by the fact that pulling it this way would cause more damage.

You fight hesitation that no one can see as you use deft hands to pull the one from your side, throwing it so hard it buries itself inches into the thick hardwood. No one goes to move as you face in the direction of the village as the flicking your wrist locking onto someone unknown.

Pulling a man from his curtent job to assist you as his broad shoulders come flying into the yurt like a rigid doll thrown carelessly into the play house.

You flick your wrist, fingers dancing and suddenly his movements were fluid as if he were moving on his own. Doing his normal ritual to pull the purest moisture from the air before heating it between his palms.

Had no one seen your hand at work, they would all think he was filling a bath of his own accord. Especially with how gingerly he opens the large glass jars beside the tub, pouring in certain herbs for medical purposes. Everyone in the room blanches feeling their throats tighten with unfamiliar fear, everyone one but a certain hot head.

No, he does not whiten like bone in the sun, his anger colors his cheeks red as a fall apple.

"I'm sure he knows how to use his own fucking quirk!" He snarls darkly in his mother tongue. You hold his burning eyes with your own, guilt fills your throat with each passing second and finally you snap.

You scream your frustration flicking your wrists as you do and sending everyone from the yurt to land at the foot of the market.

Everyone but the ash blonde that your body refuses to control in spite of the power, of your own will, begging you to use him.

To use all of them to get what you want.

You pant heavily, your rage having raised your blood pressure in turn causing a thicker pool of crimson at your feet. It is making you dizzy which is making you angrier. Your rage organ pumping out unnecessarily hot wrath into your thick capable frame causing it to shake.

"Get. Out." You bite, venom soaking every syllable before turning so softly as your eyes prick with welled up ire, "Now."

Katuski notices the change in demeanor quickly, stepping slowly to you, until his hands hovered over your shoulders. Still cautious to touch.

"If you truly wanted me to you would have sent me away as you did with them." His voice is soft for once, his hands finally landing on your shoulders gently, "Let me help you."

When you do not respond he goes for a carved bone knife by the tub to better access your wound and your raw emotions have you snapping again as you think of out stretched gnarled hands.

"THIS IS MY FUCKING FAVORITE ONE!" You yell franticly in his mother tongue and he places the knife down slowly. Careful to avoid sudden movements as he slides the fur of the jumper off of your shoulders a bit before folding it over careful to guide it furthest away from you wound as he slips you out of the black fabric.

"Ki can fix it just as she made it." He reassures you of Reo's wife's skill as he lays it gently over a low arm chair. He notices your crown, fingering the dragons teeth softly before removing it with slow fluid motions. He damned Reo when he saw it placed atop your brilliant crown, the old man knew full well it would have his heart racing to see what Reo, what his people already saw.

A Queen.

He sets it on your side table, careful to straighten the strings of pearls and teeth before returning to his work. He lifts you princess style as he eases you into the bath, undressing himself only after he's settled you. Stepping in with an almost sluggish manner as if any movement of water would disturb you.

"You should heal your wounds while they are submerged. Start with your side." An order that you for once obey, feeling too numb from the rush of fading emotion to notice the worry in his tone. He turns you away from him slowly as nimble fingers unweave your braided hair, disentangling any knots along the way before pouring deliciously hot water over your scalp.

Fat tears fall over red rimmed eyes as he tenderly cares for you, his hand massaging in shampoo while you're reminded of your improbable behavior all the while your brother's words echo in your head.

"Only my sister would be furious with the man who loves her."

"Oh tell me again how he does not have an inkling of care for you."

It is true that he must feel something for you. He had not harmed you, barely touched you in your sleep, he was sure you were clothed and fed. And when you shook the cage of his ire he restrained himself, a feat others had later told you was unheard of. Hell he even saved you from certain death within a few hours of meeting him after such a display of spiteful behavior and what do you do in return of his favor? Your mind flashes images of the times you thought to kill him, how many times did you talk yourself out of using his very own bath water to silence him forever.

You try to swallow the sob that threatens your frame but to no avail, it causes you to shake breaking the dam on your tears once more.

The second time in years you were truly and uselessly crying.

Katsuki takes immediate notice, he gives you a moment and when you continue to cry openly he speaks.

"What plagues your thoughts princess?" His voice is like ointment on your burning cheek.

"Nothing." Your voice comes out normal, having long ago learned to control your pitch and tones.

"Then why are you shaking? It is not a shiver from cold as the bath is steaming and I know it is not a shiver of pleasure." He chuckles darkly at his own joke before rinsing away the conditioner, "Face me if nothing is wrong."

You do not move and he sighs.

"I need to clean your cheek..." He bites back his impatient growl as a broad hand turns you to face him. He watches you swipe at your eyes quickly with angry hands.

"It is okay to show me your tears." He says as he drinks in the sight of you, even in sadness you're breath taking, "I will help carry the burden of them."

"No, it's an ugly display of vulnerability that I wish to never share." You bite back another sob.

"Do you know why my people respect women so much?" He asks and when you cannot offer an answer he continues, "We respect women because they are so in tune with their emotions. Because they are strong enough to allow them to happen, brave enough to show their tears, their rage, their love to another. Women are far from weak, tears are far from weak."

The dam somehow bursts again and your body is rocked with emotion.

Over too many things and possibilities.

Over the blood you will soon have on your hands and true to his word Katsuki takes some of your burden as he pulls you to him, both of you uncaring of the proximity of your naked bodies. He wraps powerful arms around you as his palm glides over your wet hair. Your tears collect in the crook of his spiced neck as the steam begins to die away from the bath. Slowly you return to your normal state and slowly he gathers things to clean your wound. He stops for a moment and stares.

Crimson eyes gliding over a scared bottom lip, he traces it for a moment and you shudder. The scar tingles from the ghost of his calloused skin as he sighs, stare fixated on the wound he reopened. The remorse in his eyes has your own stinging, silence stretches between the two of you as time seems to slow.

"I'm sorry, Mo chuisle." He breathes so softly, breaking the spell, as the pad of his thumb wipes away a stray tear, hand squeezing the rag in his other hand.

"My pulse?" You ask softly, letting your hand slide down his forearm to caress the softened skin of the crook of his elbow.

"That is what you're becoming." He admits as he returns to dabbing at your cheek, "As much as I do not want it to be. You urge my heart to beat, to drum on."

You stare at the man before you, his glistening skin shining in small scars from battles unknown, a man that has been hardened by time and tragic loss yet still he sits before you. As raw and vulnerable as you, softened by nothing other than your own thorny exterior. His blood beats in time with your own, his power thrumming beneath toned muscles calling out to you as yours calls to his. You close the distance between you two again, he gives you his full attention as your scared lips move in perfect motions under his watchful eye.

"Thank you....mo chuisle." You say softly watching his cheeks dust with blush. You lean ever closer, daring to press your lips to his if only for a moment. Katsuki fights every muscle in his body not to hold your mouth to his letting you lean away as his heart yearns for more.

#bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha katsuki #bnha kacchan #bnha bakugou #bnha #bnha au #bakugo katuski #katuski bakugou #katsuki bakugo #katuski au #princess

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thescarletsith · 5 years

Text

I can only hope that this helps those who felt pain when finding out about the end of Rise of Skywalker. It was never about Kylo Ren getting what he deserved or seeking redemption, it was about ending the pain within Ben Solo. I had to find some sort of positive reasoning behind all of this before witnessing it for myself tonight.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

Any negative reason given for why Ben Solo deserved to die isn't convincing, because Ben didn't do any of those things.

He was born into a family of Legends; expectations were set for him before he could even talk. The truth of his grandfather was hidden from him by his family. Facts of his bloodline would have given him insight as to why he felt the way he did, but they were kept away from him, leaving him to feel completely alone with a growing pain inside of him that he couldnt confide with anyone about. His whole family was painted as a perfect, lightside, good guy team. Saviors. Warriors. Heroes. Legends. So how could it be possible for him to feel the conflict that he was trying to hide? He would never be good enough or strong enough to belong to this family. He grew up feeling worthless to his parents who were always gone. The only place he could find self-worth was the darkness reaching out to him, wanting to help him and show him how to end his pain. But he didn't want help, he wanted to do it on his own. He wanted to push through and make his family proud. And when he learned the truth about his grandfather being Darth Vader, (a truth which he learned through the government his mother worked with, NOT from his own family) the teachings of Jedi being good, peaceful people became a joke to him. Good people don't lie. Good people don't turn a blind eye to the suffering of someone they claim to love for the sake of their own desire of not having to address something they'd rather forget. And good people own up to their mistakes - they try to right their wrongs.

Nobody did that for Ben. They saw a darkness in him and chose to fear it instead of face it. They chose to train him and raise him to be what they considered "good". They chose to invade his thoughts during his sleep and make of it what they wanted, deciding on their own that he was destined to belong to darkness no matter what measures they took to prevent that from happening.

Ben saw Luke standing above him with every intention to murder him. So Ben defended himself, disabling Luke from hurting him. The emotions he was constantly burying pushed through to the surface - his own fear, loneliness, anger, and confusion. He had done everything asked of him. On the outside, he was everything they were trying desperately to create and yet... he still wasnt good enough.

And those voices that had been with him since he was born called to him to go and find his true ally - the one who would make him as strong and fearless as Darth Vader.

When the light betrayed Ben Solo, the darkness welcomed him with open arms. It comforted him, embraced him, and accepted him, thus rising the darkness that Ben Solo tried desperately to run from.

Kylo Ren, who was birthed from his parents carelessness towards him and his uncle's betrayal, killed Ben Solo. And though Kylo still felt the same as Ben, he was now being given what he believed to be genuine help to forever end the pain.

And that's all he ever really wanted.

He was manipulated into believing everything he was doing would eventually bring him the peace he craved. He was convinced what he was doing what was right. He was told that the darkness would give him all of the things his family never even attempted to. The dark side became the good side and the Jedi didnt deserve to exist anymore.

He's told that killing his past will allow him to become who he's always been meant to be, and since he has no idea who that is, he's willing to do whatever he has to in order to figure it out.

Then he meets Rey, who makes him realize Ben Solo isn't really dead and that Kylo Ren is just a mask he wears.

Then Rey defeats him in a duel, wielding his families lightsaber. What a slap in the face. Some random girl from a desert planet who has never trained her Force abilities, never really even knew she had these abilities until she met him, was never directly involved with any Jedi, and totally naive to everything she was able to do that he was put through hell and back to learn, just beat him with his own families weapon.

And instead of being sympathized with by the person who swore to help him since he was a kid, he's spit on about it. He was told none of the others ever faced such a task like he would when encountering his own father and by killing his father, reguardless of how he truly felt about it, he expected praise for doing what was suggested to have been the hardest thing he would ever have to do to prove himself worthy, yet he's spit on about it. He's back in the same neverending loop of being a disappointment.

His family saw darkness inside of him and the darkness saw his family inside of him. He couldn't win with either side.

So the Force gave him someone else to turn to, connecting him to this girl he should hate, but felt no hatred whatsoever towards. Instead, he was intrigued by their bond, impressed by her strength, and comforted in the realization that he found someone who felt exactly as he did. He ignored her threats, her doubt, her insults and her disgust towards him because he understood it: Ben Solo felt the same way about Kylo Ren.

He saw so much of himself before his turn to darkness in Rey and wanted to be for her what nobody was brave enough to be for him.

He knew that the only restraint she had on becoming what she longed to be was her inability to let go of a past she didnt need. He saw her strength, potential, determination and hope when she didn't see herself as anything. If he wanted to coax her with him inside of a life of never ending pain, he wouldn't tell her to kill her past, the thing that caused her pain, he would tell her to embrace it, allow it to consume her and feed off the power that pain could give. Her fear of accepting that any family she had is dead was the only source of darkness inside of her - it was her greatest weakness. He tells her of his own families betrayal as a means to say having a family isn't always what she's convinced herself it is. And he's so aggressive about it because he envies her: she has no one determining her path for her. She is free to be whoever she pleases and would face no judgement about it, and yet for some reason she aches to belong to someone.

And she eventually sees him for who he really is; the person inside of him that he's been silencing because he knows he could never go back to that life. She has seen him murder in cold blood, she has felt his conflict, she knows for certain all the horrible things he has done, yet still tells him that it isnt too late, showing him the hope she has in him - a hope he was never shown even before he committed the terrible acts he's done. There in his darkest of days, he's finally found that one person who accepts him, and he has absolutely nothing to offer her.

Still, she goes to him to save him from the darkness that has always been there and because of that, he is able to kill the thing he rightfully assumed was trapping him in that darkness.

He doesnt want to belong to any group, he doesn't want to set himself up to fail again, but he wants to be with this girl and keep the feeling of validation she gives him. So he pleads for her to allow everything to end so that they could start a new order - a new life - together. But she doesn't view it the same way he does. She wants him to go back with her, to the light, but the light already rejected him. He doesn't belong there, even if he wanted to.

There's no common ground then, and she leaves him.

The emotions he is left with cause him to feel the dominant presence of the darkness he had rightfully assumed he killed, and he goes on a rampage, deciding he will end it all himself, only then to be stopped by the single person who's doubts towards him hurt the most. Surely killing his uncle would be the way to end his internal war...

But again, he was wrong.

He sees no other option now but to consume himself in his own misery, and uses his new title as Supreme Leader to cause as much death and despair as he's endured his whole life.

He figures out why his conflict exists when he learns from Lord Sidious that all of the voices he has heard were simply from Sidious.

And Kylo becomes a puppet for the dark side once more, tasked to kill Rey and destroy all Jedi once and for all.

So Kylo faces Rey again, senses his mother's death, nearly dies by Rey's hand, faces his father within that near death, then awakens by a Force ability used by Rey to heal him.

Knowing that Rey should have left him to die but didnt pushes him to help her end a war he helped create. He destroys his own Knights and stands beside Rey in the light to defeat their common enemy. While fighting along side her now, he feels whole. He feels like he has found where his destiny lies. And her small grin, her gleaming eyes of hope as she looks at him, prove that she feels the same way.

During the battle, he is thrown into a pit by their enemy, leaving Rey to fight alone. The physical injuries Kylo sustains in no way hold him back from trying to get back to her. He acknowledges his pain and he accepts it; he doesn't let it physically or mentally hold him back. He doesn't let it control him. And as he climbed despite the pain and weakness he felt as he did it, he accepts his past, and he rids himself of it. He accepts his parents distance from him, his uncles betrayal, the darknesses deceit and his ignorance to the truth. He accepts himself for who he is, what he has done, and where he comes from, because none of it mattered to him anymore. He needed to make sure he hadnt failed Rey the same way people always failed him. He needed to be sure she wasnt pulled to the darkness by her own bloodline. He needed to make sure she was safe, help her end this, and see where they may be able to go from here.

Ben Solo made it back to the surface, leaving Kylo Ren in the darkness of the pit.

But he was too late.

He fell to ground, pulling Rey into his arms. Pain returned to him, only now it was much worse. He has nothing. He has nobody else. He gave his life to the darkside because he trusted it and then he lost everything and everyone he ever loved because of it.

Looking at her lifeless eyes caused Ben to lose any hope for himself he may have had left. He knew Rey had so many people who would mourn her death, cry over her, need her, miss her...

No one would do the same for him.

It wasnt hard for him to find the strength to do what he had to do. He didn't even hesitate.

Through the Force, he gave all that was left of him to the only person he felt truly accepted it - it was all he had left to offer. A descendant of one of the most feared Sith Lords became a source of hope for so many, and was a light too pure to let fade.

Ben was able to accept his life and feel total peace within it when he felt Rey's hand hold onto his. Her smile when she saw him, the joy when she said his name, and the thrill when she kissed him allowed him to feel a happiness he would have otherwise never been able to feel. His own smile felt foreign to him, but he was thankful to feel it one last time.

He was thankful to pass away while in the arms of someone who cared for him. Thankful to have been able to make use of a life that never felt like his.

Ben Solo did not die as a legend. His sacrifice would be seen by others as an act of redemption, though Rey knew he didn't save her for that reason. He never felt as if he needed to seek ways to redeem himself for the damage he had done, because he was always lead to believe he was doing what was right.

Ben Solo was simply saving what he loved, and he was finally free of his pain.

#spoilers #rise of skywalker #ben solo #kylo ren #star wars #rey

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