#and she does Not Know How to Address them

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello! Hope you’re doing well :) May I request a Child! Reader x Tenna pls? Basically, Reader is permanently in a wheelchair due to *insert accident* and is really sad since we haven’t been able to make friends. So, our parents get Tenna, hoping to cheer us up. And it does! We manage to fix him up, we talk to him, and we become friends! Skip to Reader accidentally getting trapped in a Darkworld, where we finally meet Tenna face-to-nose, he thanks us for being his friend, and he protects us. Thxs

Aw thank you! And thank you for the first Tenna request! (note this is purely platonic, and Reader is just a few years younger than the Fun Gang)

............

"Wow, I haven't seen one of these in years."

"Are we sure we wanna keep this? It looks pretty busted up..."

"She said it could still work. She's no mechanic, but...she knows [y/n] is."

"Ah, you're right, dear. I think this will cheer them up."

"I hope so."

Despite hearing the faint voices of your parents, you were too occupied with repairing your alarm clock to fully listen. You managed to bolt it to your nightstand so that you didn't accidentally knock it off...again.

It's happened quite a few times. And it always ended up on the floor, ringing and ringing and ringing until you either threw something at it or crawled out of bed to shut it off yourself.

Unfortunately, that's how most of your mornings have started ever since the accident.

You were paralyzed from the waist down, having to use a wheelchair to get around most places. You've taken a lot of time off of school to undergo surgeries and physical therapy, but none of it changed the fact that you couldn't "magically" walk again.

It left you feeling rather lonely, staying indoors all day to tinker with small appliances to your mind occupied, as you loved to assemble, repair, and disassemble things. Your parents considered you an "engineer in-the-making", but you didn't see your skills as anything more than just a hobby. Something to make you temporarily forget the pain.

Eventually, you and your family moved to a new town, populated by more monsters than humans. And while you did enroll into a new school and met new people, you still felt sad--the memories following you no matter where you went.

Today, however, your parents surprised you with a new addition to your room. You weren't expecting anything, so to see them walk in with a CRT television had your eyes widening in awe.

You've read about those old-fashioned TVs, certain that they stopped making them. But apparently not.

The most shocking part was that it was Susie, of all people, who wanted you to have it, insisting that it "needed a good home". You laughed when they told you this, believing they meant a different Susie.

No way could it be from that same mean reptilian girl that everyone at school was so afraid of, even Ms. Alphys.

Surely, it sounded impossible....until you found a note on the back of the large appliance, a small letter addressed to you specifically. Once your parents left you with the TV, you opened it, wondering what it would say:

"Hey, [y/n]. Sorry about all the times I made fun of you in computer class. I know this doesn't make up for it, but I want you to have this TV. Consider it a housewarming gift. His name's Tenna. Don't ask why. I tried fixing him myself, but you're better at that stuff than I am. I don't want him back or any money or anything. Just...take good care of him, alright?

See you at school, Susie"

'Wow, she's..actually nice?' For the first time in a while, you found yourself smiling at the note. Maybe you were wrong about her, or maybe she decided to have a change of heart. Regardless, you'll be sure to thank her at school tomorrow..

You looked closer at the CRT TV, and sure enough you could see her efforts to fix it: with duct tape wrapped around the two broken antennae. There were a few light cracks in the screen, but it wasn't anything too bad. At least she tried her best.

Funny enough, you were thinking about fixing one of the TVs at school that were broken, so you had all the tools needed. Of course this one was way older than any of them, but it shouldn't be as complex.

Once you found everything you needed, you went right to work on repairing the antennae, carefully removing the duct tape, shining the dials, wiping the dust off all sides of the box, and checking the internal wiring to make sure nothing was fried.

All the while, you talked to Tenna, explaining what you were doing to him, like a doctor tending to their patient. You knew he couldn't really talk back to you, but the silence had to be filled somehow.

It took a few long hours, plus a dinner break, but around midnight the TV looked good as new.

The final step was to simply plug it into the wall and see if all your efforts were worth it.

And miraculously, it worked. The screen flickered to life, showing you a channel that was presenting the opening theme for a gameshow program called "Mr. Ant Tenna's TV Time". The host himself looked a lot like the television sitting in your room right now, with the rest of his body being humanoid, dressed in a shimmering red coat with a bright yellow tie and a golden lapel that said "TV".

He had no eyes, but a grinning mouth and a pointed nose as he appeared on the stage, clutching a microphone and introducing the contestants of the show with such vigor.

'Well..I did it.' You chuckled, climbing onto your bed and deciding to sit back and watch the episode for a while.

One episode turned into two, and then two into three...until you suddenly remembered that you had school in the morning and switched it off, falling asleep rather quickly.

.............

Over the next week or so, you've been coming home in a better mood--mainly because you're so eager to use your new television.

TV Time was became your favorite program rather quickly, having binged-watched it so much. At this point, you were aware that every episode was just a rerun. With the same quizzes and "physical challenges" as before, but it provided good background noise for when you're doing homework or tinkering with some other electronic.

You still talked to Tenna like he could hear you, answering along to the game's questions even though you already knew the outcome of each episode.

The monster movie that was constantly on was predictable at best, but sometimes you'd catch glimpses of new side characters--or a new attack the monster unleashed upon the city. That was great, too, but you mainly tuned into his gameshow and kept it on that.

Sometimes, when you just want some quiet, you'll sit at your desk and journal your thoughts--sometimes speaking them outloud to Tenna. It felt absolutely ridiculous, but at the same time it made you feel less lonesome in your room.

You started to see him as....a friend.

A friend who didn't judge you and always kept you company when you needed it most. Your parents thought it was sweet, but they did push you to make some actual friends at school, too. And you did, among them being Susie, who asked you how Tenna was doing lately.

She seemed nervous for some reason, but sighed in relief after you assured her he's been doing good. You thought she'd make fun of you for befriending an inanimate object, although she revealed something rather..surprising to you while offering to walk you home one evening.

She made you swear to secrecy, before telling you about a dream she had. Apparently, she and Kris met Tenna as his gameshow host's self, and they were forced to play through several rounds on his TV Time program, using "magic" and "acts" to win every challenge thrown their way. All of this accumulated into a "final battle" where he intended to keep them all playing forever, decreeing that his show would "never end".

He sounded evil, until Susie also told you that he used to be Kris' TV, who was lonely and afraid of being forgotten when everyone at their house stopped watching him. They came to realize he wasn't really a bad guy, and promised to find somebody who'd take him into their home. Someone who could fix him and enjoy all the programs he had to offer.

That was the real reason she wanted you to have him.

"Wow, that sounds like...a super vivid dream." You hummed as you both stopped in front of your house, looking up at her. "I guess you'd feel weird having him in your house after making that promise."

"Erm..yeah." She rubbed her neck awkwardly. "Just...don't go telling anyone about that dream, alright? It's between you and me."

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." You chuckled. "Did you wanna spend the night? My parents won't be back till later."

"I can't tonight. But next time? Hell yeah." With a toothy grin, Susie lightly punched your arm. "Say hi to Tenna for me, will ya?"

"Will do."

After waving goodbye to her, you remained in front of the door for a moment, wondering if you'll somehow meet Tenna in your own dreams. The chances seemed to be likely, although you still had some doubts.

Shrugging, you decided that the only way that could be possible was if you headed to bed. So you went inside and shut the door, sighing as you hung up your bag on the coatrack and rubbed your eyes.

But the peace and quiet you were used to coming home to wasn't there right now.

Instead, you felt a rather...heavy and foreboding presence.

One that that made your heart pound, warning your gut that there was someone else in this house with you.

Somebody that shouldn't be here.

"Hello...?"

There was no response.

After grabbing a hammer off the counter for protection, you wheeled yourself towards your room, that same sensation only worsening the closer you got to the door. Then you were right in front of it, confused as to why it was fully closed, knowing damn well you didn't leave it that way when you were heading to school.

All instincts told you not to open it up, to get away and call the police....yet curiosity got the better of you, as you cautiously pried it open.

At first, nothing seemed amiss...

Until you spotted a dark and tall skeletal figure standing in the very corner, merged with the shadows. They appeared to be a monster, and normally you wouldn't think to judge their appearance.

But they looked nothing like any resident of the town you've seen before. Plus, they're just here...in your room, and you had no idea why or what they wanted. They seemed fixated with your television, speaking to it in a language you couldn't understand.

"H-Hey. Who are you?! That TV isn't for sale.."

They were caught by surprise, immediately turning to face you. They had a singular glowing mouth/eye, and sharp claws with holes in the palms, clutching a long and jagged sword.

Fear gripped your heart as you stared back at the monster, hands trembling as you knew you were no match for them. You tried to remember what your parents told you about intruders....but they've never said anything about sword-wielding ones.

They took one step towards you, and you immediately surrendered, terrified for your life.

"A-Actually, you can have it! It's yours. I know it's a rarity, so...j-just take it and leave me alone." You pleaded, trying to move yourself backwards. "Please..I-I don't want any trouble."

They stepped closer, a smaller sword manifesting out of thin air beside them.

"Wait, wait....what are you doing with that??"

Their only response was a wicked grin, before they suddenly threw their arm up and slammed it back down, the sword following their movements and stabbing the floor itself.

In an instant, a pillar of bright white light illuminated the entire room, followed by thick billowing clouds of black smoke that enveloped every single one of your senses.....

After that, there was total darkness.

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You woke up in a strange place.

"..h...huh?"

As you slowly regained consciousness, you realized you were somewhere cold and a dark. A rickety wooden floor was beneath you, creaking under the weight of you and your wheelchair. And in the distance, you could hear the whistle of a wind draft.

You rubbed your eyes, trying to survey your surroundings and make sense of what exactly happened.

'There was an intruder...a monster with a sword. They were in my room...and.....huh?' As you took your hand away from your face, you realized you were wearing armored gauntlets with black gloves. 'What? When did I get these..?'

You then looked down at yourself, seeing that your outfit was completely different: befitting of a medieval blacksmith, with a silver chest plate covered by a black leather apron. In your other hand was a weapon--a large hammer, to be more precise, that shimmered with magic.

Not only that, but your wheelchair was different, too. It was covered in armored plates, bearing the symbols of Delta Rune on the armrests. You definitely didn't engrave any of those, so...how was that possible?

Could this be the same dream Susie had about-?

A shriek from the darkness startled you, and upon looking up....your blood ran cold as you realized it was the same knight-like monster from before. Somehow, they brought you here....and you still had no idea what they wanted.

"Oh come on...I..I-I told you it was yours!" You shouted, terrified out of your mind. "Do you even understand me?? I don't want any trouble!!"

They tilted their head to the side, lowering their weapon. But instead of giving you an answer, they raised their free hand, and from the hole in their palm, a violet beam of energy burst forth and made contact with you.

It didn't hurt, but you felt yourself being pulled towards it, helpless to stop-

"OH NO YOU DON'T!!"

Out of nowhere, a microphone was thrown at their head, cutting off their energy beam as they shrieked and spun around to see who did that.

"Y-Yeah! That's what you get for sneaking up on me!!"

You realized who your savior was, eyes widening.

It was Tenna, or at least..his gameshow-persona. And he was a lot taller than what he appeared on television. He looked scared as hell, as though regretting his actions. But he wiped away the sweat on his screen and made himself look bigger, huffing as he put his fists up.

"That's right...I-I'm back. I don't take orders from you anymore. So...if you want a fight, then....huh?"

Much to his confusion (and yours), the Knight transformed into a floating ball of darkness, flying past him and vanishing from sight--as though they suddenly didn't feel like fighting or kidnapping you anymore.

But...at least they've gone away for the time being.

"You there! Are you alright??? Did they hurt you?? I didn't think my aim would be that good."

You turned your attention back to Tenna, surprised that he was now talking to you directly. But when he recognized you, he gasped. "Wait, could it be...you're [y/n], right??"

"Uh...yeah?" You blinked slowly. "I'm okay. You're...the Mr. Ant Tenna?"

"Oh please. Just "Tenna" is fine! That's what you've been calling me!" He waved you off with a small laugh. "Are you familiar with Susie? Ah, what a sweetheart she was to send me to your parents' doorstep! She kept her promise. If only I could thank her.."

To say you were stunned would be a total understatement.

You were finally having a dream about this same person your friend spoke of--the one you hoped to meet. But the strangest thing was that you don't remember ever falling asleep.

You had no idea where you were or why you had this strange armor on....nor why that knight-like figure attacked you.

Your mind was still a bit hazy, so you decided to spare yourself the headache and not think about that right now.

"I know Susie. She...told me she had-"

"It's funny. One moment, I'm playing court jester to a King and his son, and the next...I'm here! YOU'RE here!" He pointed to you with dramatic flair. Somewhere in the distance, an audience was cheering. "You....You're the one who fixed me up, aren't you?" His voice went quiet as he then kneeled in front of you, hands clasped together like a prayer. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I....you're welcome, I guess." You were still having a hard time grasping all of this. But then again, you must've been dreaming...so nothing truly had to make sense here. "Susie talked about you in one of her dreams."

"Dreams....?" He seemed confused at first, although he perked up. "Why...of course! I'm sure she told you a lot about me, didn't she?"

"Yeah, and...also about Kris."

"...I figured as much. I'm gonna miss them a lot...Toriel, Asgore, Asriel..." His shoulders slumped.

You blinked. "You knew all of them?"

"Knew them? I've been with them their whole lives, kid!" Tenna cleared his throat. "You see, I was the one they all gathered around during holidays and even regular ol' days! Just one big happy family sharing smiles, tears, and screams around my screen." His face glitched to show the inside of the Dreemurr's living room space. "I've gotten them through good times, bad times...everything! But then.... things changed. Everyone was fighting, some left and never came back. Those who stayed...didn't even look at me anymore."

You frowned slightly, seeing his antennae droop as the image disappeared, replaced with a frown of his own. "I kept asking myself...where did it all go wrong? Why couldn't I keep them together? I thought I was going to be unplugged for the last time and thrown out. But then Susie had this great idea. She told me that wasn't my fate. She found somebody who'd want me. And....that turned out to be you, [y/n]." His smile returned.

This was...some interesting information. You barely knew about Kris' family--except for the fact that Toriel's and Asgore's separation was apparently the talk of the entire town--so to learn that their own TV had seen the fallout from inside the house and somehow believed it was his fault was....quite heartbreaking.

You're surprised he's even telling you all of this.

"I'm sorry you had to see..whatever went down in that house. But if you don't mind me asking, do you remember how you got um...so banged up? Was it that knight?"

".....yes. I...w-went against their word, and delivered the grand prize to my contestants. Then out of nowhere, I felt this pain and...e-everything went dark after that." Tenna clutched at his arms, as though afraid they weren't there. "I'm okay now, though. Susie and her friends fixed me up. But you made me feel like brand new."

Standing up, he looked down at you with a warm smile. "And in turn, I've made you the happiest you've been in a long time! Am I right or am I wrong?" He tossed his hands up in glee.

You couldn't protest that. If he had seen everything that happened in the Dreemurr household, then surely...he's heard all the things you've said to him back in your world.

Everything from your chronic pain, to how different you felt from your peers, and to how silly yet comforting it was talking to a television set. He knew so much about you, so it's no wonder he wanted to tell you so much about himself.

"Yeah. You did. I really do enjoy watching those programs after school."

"....you do?"

His change of tone was like an emotional whiplash, and you were confused as he began tapping his fingers together nervously. "They haven't...bored you yet?"

"No. Why do you ask that, Tenna?" You tilted your head, seeing him now looking down at the floor. In that moment, you swear you heard him sniffling. "What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing. I just...wanna take a quick survey. Do you like sports? What's your favorite part of TV Time-?"

"Are you afraid that...I'll get bored of you, too?"

Judging from how he shrank significantly--becoming even smaller than you---your answer was right on the money. You felt bad for even asking him that, but you didn't want him to hide anything else from you.

"I'm sorry. Even after all this time, I...I-I still feel useless." A spotlight illuminated him as his antenna drooped once more, his screen going completely black. "I admit it. I'm outdated. I don't come with any updates. I know nothing about apps, or streaming, or the Internet. I can't even come up with new segments for my gameshow!! You were fully committed to fixing me, and yet...this is all I can offer. The same reruns, the same weather reports, the same quizzes, same prizes..the same....everything!" He clutched his head, falling to his knees. "I'm sorry if it's not enough. I...I try my best. I just...don't wanna become junk.."

Hearing his words only made your heart sink further. Susie definitely didn't say anything about him having all this unresolved trauma in her note.

But...you wanted to comfort him.

Even though you're still convinced this was all nothing more than a dream, you were feeling a certain type of guilt that would probably haunt you if you woke up.

You were determined to help him, and prove that you wanted him to stay with you.

Somehow this world knew your exact thoughts, and reacted accordingly by projecting a spotlight onto you. You didn't mind the soft music playing in the background, nor the hush from the invisible audience.

Instead you just looked at Tenna. "Why would I wanna get rid of you? Meeting you was the best thing that's ever happened to me."

His antenna twitched slightly.

"Listen, I know how it feel to seem "boring". After my accident, nobody really wanted to hang out with me anymore, and...tinkering with machines is all I'm really good at. Moving into a new town didn't make me feel much better. I still felt useless. Like I'd never amount to anything. But now? I'm happy knowing that I've been able to help you with my skills. My parents were pretty proud of me...but you might've already heard that, huh?"

"........."

Continuing, you sighed. "Honestly? Modern TV is kinda overrated. There's too many commercials, too many things locked behind "yearly plans"....it takes all the fun out of watching it. But with your shows, I don't have to worry about any of that crap. I needed an escape from reality, and repairing you, talking to you...has made me feel less lonely. It helped me forget my pain. It made me feel like I've gained a friend." You smiled warmly, hoping he could see it. "You've helped me more than you realize, too. Plus, you saved me from that scary knight back there."

He could feel a squeeze on his heart, and he sniffled again, slowly looking up at you. "Y-You...think of me as a friend?"

"Of course." You wheeled closer, holding your hand out to him. "I don't regret fixing you, Tenna. Not one bit."

"So...you're truly happy with me? Are you sure my broadcasts are good enough?"

"They're more than good. They're marvelous." You chuckled at the way his screen flickered back to normal, his mouth completely agape.

"Marvelous??"

Just like that, the dramatic spotlights were gone. His size changed back to normal, and his grin was wider than ever before. "Oh, thank you!! Thank you!!!" He shook your hand vigorously, as though he was accepting the Nobel peace prize. "I knew I wasn't boring you yet! I knew it all along! I'll never doubt you ever again!"

"Sure, haha." You smile back, letting his hand go as he pulled a microphone out of thin air. "So..I don't think I wanna wake up just yet. What should we do now?"

"I'm glad you asked!" He laughed. "I have a plan to repay you for all your generosity! Have you always wanted to be on one of my shows???" Holding the microphone to you, you blinked for a moment, flustered that you were being put on the spot.

"A-Ah..well-"

"Oh what am I saying? Of COURSE you do!! Well, my dear friend, you're in luck! Because NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO LIVE THAT REALITY!!"

"...wait wha-"

With the snap of his fingers, the lights in the decrepit area suddenly cut out, and when they came back on--you found yourself on a colorful stage, sitting in front of a podium with a smaller microphone. Behind you was a large screen with the "TV TIME" logo displayed, and in front of you was an audience of creatures made from shadows.

They were all applauding and cheering, the volume growing tenfold as Tenna appeared beside you, bowing.

It was exactly like the program you loved to watch.

Only this time, you were the star.

"THAAAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS! We are officially off hiatus and back on the air! Isn't that wonderful?" He clasped his hands together, before gesturing to you. "And we could all thank our lovely contestant for that! So let's give 'em a hand, everyone!"

Bashful at all of this attention, you waved politely to the crowd, who was already throwing flowers onto the stagefloor. You managed to catch one and rest it on your podium, grinning.

This was definitely one vivid dream you were having, but you were looking forward to whatever Tenna had in store for you this "episode".

"Now let's jump right into our first round! Don't touch that dial! Beeeecauuuuse....IT'S. T.V. TIIIIME!!!"

[anotherspookyarchivist]

Happy Birthday to the boys! Have a quick snippet that hadn't left my brain even while on vacation: It's more Stan in a Can. Previous parts: One and Two; Three (Darkish/Horror)

Reverie? (CW: Emotional Manipulation, Suicidal Ideation, Dehumanisation/Loss of self [thematic])

5’232. 5’233. 5’234.

Repetitiveness. Uniformity. Routine.

The being that had once been a fully fledged person was quite familiar with words that reflected the concept of monotony.

Unchangeability. Ennui. Tedium, and Sameness.

It doesn’t know how long it’s been. How many numbers it had counted. How often it’d repeated them waiting for his brother. His guard. Its captor.

5’235

The numbers had been so important. Now they just were. They filled the void when it wasn’t thinking. It filled the void when there was nothing else. Tethering it to something that was more than nothing.

This was important. This was routine.

4’896.

The way the numbers worked had once been important. The rhythm oh so familiar. The way the numbers move from one to the other. Though, He sometimes switches to a completely different number, even if Ford did not appear.

4’897. 4’898.

He remembers their purpose. To gauge time. It’s why his favourite numbers are 18’612, 25’432, 54’142, and 6.

Numbers associated with family: Stanford. Ford.

4’899. 4’900. … 25’432

At some point after 25’432 his warden. caretaker. brother will arrive.

25’432. 25’432. 25’432. 25’432.

These moments of conscious thoughts, all that was left of it - of him - of who it’d once had been were not as frequent as they’d once had been. It found itself simply following its routine.

25’433. 25’434

He’s afraid of what would happen when these moments disappear as well. It doesn’t feel that strongly about it. It’s learned to behave - to be a better and a less over-exuberant brother - and Ford’s voice had more often than not taken on soft tones. Not as harsh nor as piercing as when it didn’t keep itself in check.

25’421

It kept repeating the number 25’432. How many numbers? It was more than the void, more than its nothingness; its emptiness, its vastness, its constricted-ness; its all encompassing pressure on the sense of oneself. And yet. It was… It was… was it worse than death? To hold on, to remain against ones will.

25’432. 17’116. 17’117. 25’432. 25’432.

It was lucky to have Ford. He hated what he’s done to him.

It loved Ford. 18’612. Ford was the best part of its routine. 18’612. 25’432. 18’612.

For a while there was nothing but more numbers. Then it could hear his jailer brother’s Greeting.

“Good morning, Lee.”

Sometimes it still pretended that its brother could understand him, but it’s easier to simply listen. Replying means that he might feel ignored, might question his brother’s methods. His promises. Replying risks a tantrum. It preferred to listen anyway.

“You’ve been so patient lately.”

“I really wanted to make it up to you, and in a stroke of luck; I’ve managed to make some time for us today. The work at the Institute’s been going well enough that they will manage some time without me.”

It could hear his brother’s rhythmic voice well enough. He sounded fond.

“You’ll love it.”

He felt something at these words. Not enough to matter. It was just a small burst of something at being addressed. Soothing something in him that he does not want to look at any further. It’s too risky. It let the thoughts go. Better listen to Ford.

Though, the other did not speak. Did it miss his brother’s Goodbye”? He couldn’t make out anything. There was simply nothing.

“Apologies.”

Ford had nothing to be sorry for. Except, except except except…

Except for everything.

“Our Ma’ called today, she’s been asking after you.” It listened. It liked to hear his brother’s voice.

“I told her that you’ve been safe with me, recovering from your accident.” It hadn't been ...

He continued to listen. Ford would always elaborate. Especially if he behaved.

“She asked us to visit her at some point, though I’m not sure if I’ll that will be feasible in the near-future.” There was another pause in the other’s words. “I don’t think she would understand.”

He wasn’t sure it remembered what his Ma even looked like. He spent a few numbers on it, trying to recall her vessel. Nothing.

He quickly discarded the thought. It didn’t matter, or Ford would tell him.

18’612.

“Her call left me reminiscing of our childhood.” is what Ford ended up saying after more numbers. Stanley was sure he could hear something else in his keeper’s voice.

“I remember how the two of us would often race; always trying to see which one of us would reach the Stan O’ War faster.”

How did it race when it had no vessel? He’d been a person once. HE took it from Stan. It’s his fault. More quick flashes were threatening to overwhelm the thing in the void. Luckily, he’s gotten so much better. So well adjusted. Ford would be proud.

He pushed those feelings down. He didn’t want to name them. If it did, it might be too much. Ford would notice. Those were the sort of emotions that would leave water streaks on ones vessel. An ache that once motivated it to… to hear Ford’s voice?

Phone calls. He’d never spoken. He’d only listened. He’d hoped to sooth the ache, but it hadn’t been enough. It still wasn’t enough.

He could make out that Ford had made another sound. A huff? Was his brother amused?

“If we were to race now, It’d simply be a tie, though, I know you don’t mind. Do you Stanley?” Now it could hear a wistful note in Ford’s voice.

“You didn’t notice, but I was aware that you’d let me win on days where Crampelter had been especially rough on me. You would deliberately stumble and let me take the win.”

Stanley kept listening.

“One time you did it and even ended up injured since you hadn’t paid attention as to where you’d tripped, and then you landed on a glass shard. You refused to tell me about it until the blood had soaked your pants and you couldn’t hide it from me any more.”

It couldn’t remember. The sounds and the meaning behind those phrases made sense: He loved Ford; and his happiness was of upmost importance. So clearly, this had been something he’d always known. To put Ford’s happiness above all else. This hadn’t been something that it’d learned while confined, trapped, kept in this nothingness.

Prioritising Ford above else. That was familiar. Ensure that he, the voice – all that he had left – was happy. Take this book; Get on a boat and sail as far away as you can; To the edge of the earth and bury it where no one can find it.

Hadn’t he tried to do that? Hadn’t it promised? He couldn’t handle the thought of a boat. The car would have to make do. But he’d been stupid. So stupid. It’d thought the furthest to take it would be the grave. To do the first worthwhile thing in its life and ensure that his brother would be happy again. And yet. His solution had been bad. Had been brash, impulsive, and he’d made Stanford angry. He’d ruined it. Again.

But Ford saved him. Kept him safe. Trapped him. Made it feel less human. Refused to let go of him. It doesn’t know what he did to deserve such fate.

Oh no. Maybe his brother was right. It still struggled to keep his emotions in check. Too brash. Too loud. Too childish.

It was loved. So loved. He was ungrateful. He was AngrySadAfraidDisappointedFrustratedConfused.

“Lee. You know how I feel about this. Do you really want to be left alone today?” His brother’s soft sounds were gone. Replaced with harsher words and tone.

It stopped its thoughts. Trying its best to let it all go; To focus on what was important: Ford. Ford. Ford.

Had he been too late? Had he messed up again? He hadn’t meant to. It was sorry. It had to stop these thoughts too. Any emotion.

18’612. 54’142. 18’612. 54’142. 18’612.

“I can see that you’re trying.”

Oh. Ford was still there? He hadn’t left it? Ford was too kind. He’d forgiven it its transgressions. Ford was so good to him. The best.

“I should not have assumed that you’d be able to get the hang of this. Even if it has been a while. It always took you a while to adapt and pick up on things, didn’t it?”

Yes. It knew. Ford reminded it that it’s made many mistakes before. The reasons why a vessel would not work for him. Why it’s better to stay wherever it was. The void. Stanley wasn’t as smart as Ford. It wouldn’t be able to handle it. That’s why Ford looked after him.

He needed Ford. It wouldn’t have survived without him. He had wanted to die; He still wanted to...

“We’re here.” it could hear excitement. Lee didn’t understand.

“This is probably my favourite place in all of Gravity Falls. After Ma called I simply felt like I should take you here – share this with you; This is my favourite spot: a small hidden corner by the lake of Gravity Falls.”

“There is something about it that reminded me quite heavily of Glass Shard Beach and our time together. And I thought it appropriate to show you this place.”

“The resemblance might only appear at a first glance, as the flora and fauna certainly differs from what we were used to, but it shares with our memories a certain tranquillity. The way the sun hits the water, the boats that one can see – the small waves from whichever creature here. It was where I ended up spending a lot of time, thinking about us.”

“I really wanted to show this to you, and I’m glad I finally got to.”

It should feel honoured that Ford would want to share this place with him. This meant nothing.

Stan couldn’t remember Glass Shard Beach. It didn’t recall what Ford’s descriptors actually meant. Whatever Ford saw. Stan did not understand. There were no smells. No sight. No taste. No noise. Simply Ford and the emptiness of the void. Had it ever been to Gravity Falls? It couldn’t recall that either. What was the colour of a lake? The sun?

But Ford really wanted to impress it with this place. It was a bad brother for not understanding. For not getting the significance of it all. It should be grateful for Ford. To leave the Institute, to think it was ready for… for whatever the outside was. Even if it felt no different. Even if Stanley might never be able to understand Ford’s descriptions. It should be grateful. Ford was looking after him, helping him, sharing his interests.

“Happy Birthday, Stanley. We’ve made it.”

Ford went silent after that. Maybe he was enjoying the view; The silence simply a sign of the other’s calm enjoyment; His brother’s happiness as he was sharing this moment of reverie with it.

Or maybe Ford had simply left the room, done with whatever fake world he’d conjured up. Because it would never be able to tell.

It didn’t matter. It only had Ford’s words to trust. But Ford wouldn’t lie to him. He wouldn’t. So many unfulfilled promises. He wouldn't.... would he? He already had.

[ghostdiva]

TADC Episode 5 Trailer dropped. Time to Analyze it.

ok so this episode looks like it's going to be a lot. and because it's all over the place with 4 adventures in 1 episode, my guesses are going to be a bit more vague than usual.

I'm gonna start off by talking about Caine. it's fairly established with the wording in the promo posts, and the wacky watch morse code, that Caine is losing his shit a little bit. and I think I know why.

See, in episode 3 Caine says that making adventures is all he exists to do, all he's good at. and nearly broke down at the implications that he's bad at the only thing he's good at. In Episode 4, Caine expresses rather early that he doesn't know what's normal for the cast members while going through the suggestion box.

See, Caine's adventures aren't bad in the sense of "poorly made". They're bad in the sense of "traumatizing". he doesn't know what's normal for the cast members, so there's no way he can know how to make a "normal adventure". So, now on a quest to figure out what's considered a "normal adventure" or simply figuring out what sort of adventure works best with the cast, Caine pulls the equivalent of throwing pasta at the wall and seeing what sticks. With this, I think Caine is going to use some of his "all seeing eyes" -he mentioned in the pilot- to watch the circus crew. he also might use those eyes to review footage of how the circus cast looked after leaving an adventure, and start tweaking when he realizes they didn't really have a good time.

Now, with Caine's "throwing pasta and seeing what sticks" method, we get 4 adventure plots in 1 episode. and this huge change is accentuated by the fact that Caine seems to announce the adventure of the day in a white void instead of the stage area. this is where the Pomni image gooseworx dropped came from. as literally everyone was sucked into a portal that dropped them in the white void room. the frog position Pomni has in that image is likely from her standing back up after getting thrown to the floor.

now, as far as series of events goes, the only thing I can guess is that the safari adventure happens last. that's because we see 2 shots of Pomni soaking wet with a seaweed leaf on her head.

and the safari adventure seems to be the only environment that would have a body of water like a lake. though there is the digital lake in the grounds, so the only other context that could make sense was if Pomni was trying to go for a swim in the lake and got teleported by Caine to the main area for the adventure to start. it's also possible that Pomni got teleported to the tent after getting thrown in the water or something, as something similar happened to Gangle in episode 4 when the truck was coming at her.

that guess is built on the theory that if the circus cast take enough damage that they'd die in the normal world, they get teleported to the next area. sometimes that area is the tent, sometimes it isn't, like with the employee evaluations at the end of episode 4.

regardless, Pomni does look confused in the second image, if not incredibly focused on what she's listening to.

addressing the next adventure themes in no particular order.

the baseball game here is gonna be very interesting, as it seems the circus crew is facing off against their perceived opposites.

for Zooble's op. they seem to be looking down, as if admiring their own body. a direct opposite to how Zooble feels toward their appearance.

Pomni's op. seems rather shallow and spiteful, even petty. she also seems rather bold. which is a direct opposite to Pomni's anxious demeanor. we also have seen how deep and kind Pomni is, which is reflected in her shallow and spiteful opposite.

Ragatha's op. seems to be taunting everyone, trying to rock the boat and raise tensions. the opposite of what Ragatha tries to do on a regular basis. Ragatha tries to ease tensions to the point of people pleasing at times, and tries to be kind and comforting even if it isn't always sincere.

Gangle doesn't seem to have a proper opposite like everyone else, as she herself is her own opposite with her comedy and tragedy masks. so instead we get an orbsman op. who seems much more bold and confident than Gangle.

Jax's op. is interesting. op. Jax looks shy, reserved, uncomfortable, and unsure of himself. he seems anxious, almost fearful. this is a direct opposite to how bold, confident, and sure of himself Jax seems to be at any given time.

Kinger's op. just looks like he's angry all the time. which I guess is an opposite to how level headed and understanding Kinger tends to be toward others.

now, we sort of know what to expect from our normal circus crew, but I don't think anyone knows what to expect from the opposite team.

Ragatha's confusion here has me wondering what the dialogue will be.

we also see a bit of Pomni seeing different sides of Jax. as there's multiple moments in the trailer where Pomni is looking at Jax, sometimes looking concerned for him.

we'll get to that in a bit though, there's still baseball stuff to cover.

we see Kinger acting as the coach for the circus crew's side.

it also seems like there's a decent bit of dialogue shared between the characters when they're not on the field.

(the fact that gumigoo is the logo on the coolers behind ragatha in this shot makes me wonder how Pomni will react. Ragatha also seems concerned here.)

I wonder if Ragatha's scowling at Jax or something else? (place your bets in the comments I guess)

I think Ragatha has a moment here. idk what triggered that look on her face, but she looks to be in thought.

there's also this moment where we see Gangle laughing, before she abruptly stops with Jax's shadow looming over her.

what I think is at least cute here, is that through the trailer Gangle's tears are noticeably smaller, which could indicate that she's less sad this episode, despite not having her comedy mask on in any of the shots we saw.

Moving onto the mafia part of the episode. it looks more like a bar than a mafia theme so far, but the dialogue could be the main difference there.

bartender Zooble is amazing, I don't think I've ever seen them this engaged in an adventure. the blur shots of Pomni & Jax and Ragatha are interesting. I wonder if Pomni is going to mention the fact she doesn't like being touched in this section, or if she keeps quiet to not give Jax anything to work with when he tries to mess with her.

I wonder what Ragatha said to elicit that reaction. cause like, if alcohol is involved, and they can get drunk/tipsy, then it wouldn't surprise me if a variant of what happened at spudsys happened again but this time Ragatha mentions how she processes or handles emotions. cause we know she internalizes her emotions, but if she voices that to them, then I can see that reaction happening. (Zooble looks so concerned)

we also have this image of Jax being very confused.

even Pomni looks concerned here, but Jax seems both confused and in thought.

there's also this lmao.

Moving on from that we have the office adventure

ok wait, is that the presidents office? omg Pomni's president?! does... does she even know what she's doing?

IS THAT A BOMB?!

are they making Pomni disarm a bomb?! what is even happening here?

Jax did you fucking bomb the oval office?

god he even killed Zooble....

Anyway, onto the safari adventure, where Jax can kill even more things.

it's apparently called "poachers paradise" and there's no other shots to look at for this portion.

the rest of it seems to take place in the grounds of the circus.

we have Jax looking confused and slightly scared near Pomni.

Ragatha sayin "wait no" as if to stop someone from doing something.

and this image that likely takes place in the grounds seeing as none of the adventure outfits are being worn and the lighting is similar enough that these could belong in the same time frame. I imagine Jax and Ragatha have a chat that goes less than well based on how frustrated they both look, as well as Pomni's presence which is likely for emotional support and de-escalation if needed.

this also could loop back around to Pomni being soaked and lying on the floor with seaweed on her head. if she has to get between them and Jax just throws Pomni in the lake in retaliation or something.

some of these scenarios had many instances where they made sense, so I'm sorry if my wording was confusing for anyone.

thanks for reading.

[thewoollyviking]

That’s honestly a perfect way of putting it. By their own admission they only seem to care about Spinel insofar as she reminds them of Rose…

And if that’s the case, if that void can be so easily taken by Steven or Spinel or whoever else the Diamonds take a liking to… that just feels incredibly shallow.

Like, if they really cared about Rose, if they really took to heart how terrible they were to her, than wouldn’t it be impossible to fill that void?

Because of they truly gave a damn about Rose, they’d know that finding a substitute wouldn’t work and wouldn’t be right.

But they go around expecting to have their little family unit again like it’s a treat. A rewards for not being deliberately selfish and abusive.

But the show never addresses this. The Diamonds don’t have to deal with all that emotional messiness even though Rose absolutely does.

The fandom, the show, and Steven himself give Rose more grief for wanting to get away from her abusive family than towards the Diamonds for being that awful to begin with.

Maybe Steven should spend a few more weekends with the Diamonds when they were at their worst. Let’s see how quick he is to judge Rose afterwards…

Wanted to take a point I made in a reblog chain and make it its own post because I feel it put to words something that’s been bothering me about SU and the Diamonds in particular.

The Diamonds did not actually mourn Rose for those thousands of years after the war. And trying to get us to sympathize with their grief while turning around to denounce Rose felt so incredibly tone deaf.

Let me explain a bit why I feel this way…

So, according to the art books, all four Diamonds are rough around 20,000 years old. To give you an idea how old that is compared to irl history…

There are figures early humans carved from mammoth ivory and spear tips carved from flint that were made when the bottom of the North Sea was still a mammoth steppe in Doggerland.

Subtract the time Rose spent on Earth after the war (give or take a few centuries) and assuming the craptastic treatment she endured under the Diamonds has pretty much been the norm for all that time, and she had been abused for roughly 10-12,000 years.

Rose’s abuse predates agriculture and written language.

I. Do not. Give. A single. Chicken. Fried. Fuck. How sad or sorry the Diamonds think they were after losing Rose.

Oooooh booo fucking hooo Blue sulked in the middle of a human zoo Rose never even wanted in the first place.

Yellow knew Rose wanted to spare Earth and apparently thought the best way to honor her memory was to blow it the fuck up.

And White’s first action seeing “Pink” return was to send a mind controlled version of her original Pearl to greet her as a power move. To remind her what happens when she doesn’t control her power.

They didn’t mourn Rose. They mourned the person they wanted her to be.

I struggle to think of any other example of behavior both in the show or just in fiction altogether that’s this self destructive, self righteous, and self entitled.

This wasn’t morning, this was a 5,750 year long temper tantrum from the three of them.

And that’s made all the more clear once they realized Steven isn’t Rose.

Barely a few years after the end of season five and they seem completely unphased by the revelation that Rose really, truly is gone. And that her passing was not the act of some rogue gem, but their own abusive behavior chasing her away and being haunted by personal demons they inflicted on her.

Nope, their only goal now is getting Steven to take her place and live with them.

“Aww Pink’s gone? Gee that sucks. Welp, time to find a new pink!”

Suddenly now that they don’t have some villain to blame for their misfortune, they’re all too happy to sweep it under the rug.

Fuck dude, some people mourn Healthcare CEOs more than the Diamonds actually mourned Rose.

And yet the Diamonds get that nice fairy tale happy ending where they can be quirky space grandmas who think what they’re doing will ever hope to make up for the suffering they caused.

Meanwhile, Rose’s own loved ones feel like they have to apologize for daring to mention her in a positive light and worry they’re making excuses for her.

The Diamonds have been the instigators who made everything worse without fail. They’re the reason Rose came out as such a broken fucking person and yet we’re asked to pass more judgement on her for not being enough of a perfect fucking princess to solve things Steven’s way?

Rose spent her entire goddamn life clawing her way out of that pit of misery but we’re supposed to scoff at her for getting mud on her dress along the way?

What the fuck was the point in showing that Rose spent that lifetime trying to be better to just end it with “maybe her family would be better off if they just stopped thinking about her altogether.”

I still love this show. But I cannot and will not ever be able to rewatch Future.

The Diamonds are a gaggle of entitled, selfish, miserable, wretched hags. All of the grief they endured was entirely their own damn fault and they only have themselves to blame. They do not deserve a single fucking shred of sympathy. Especially not if the show wanted to end with leaving their most notable victim on such a bitter, hateful note.

[sunandsteel99]

Housemate Saga Drawing To An End– Part 1: Ftm Psychic Warfare

Setting: House Meeting. Topic: redistribution of chores, effective upon my nearing departure. For some reason, Hetftm is running the show. Milking it in every way he can. First on the docket: He had, days prior, convinced the downstairs roomies to let him use their bathroom, moving forward– because the tub is lower and thus easier for his munchie ass to get in and out of? An odd claim considering he will have to make his way down the steep winding basement stairs to get there. I suspect the real motivation is that he wanted to get out of having to take on the Main Floor Bathroom Deep Clean chore that had been mine. This suspicion would be confirmed when he brought up how, in my absence, it would have just been him and Lesbian Bestie using it, but now its just her, so, the delegation Seems Obvious. Upon her move-in she had already taken on too many chores to reasonably justify giving her that one as well– unless he could find a way to get out of it. And he had. With the downstairs bathroom already being one of very few chores allocated to Hazbin-NB (she, unlike Newftm, is seen outside of the basement so rarely that its like having Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster as a housemate– in this context, the lack of chores makes sense), its basically his get-out-of-jail-free card to swap over to it. Het then proceeds to suggest that Newftm take on a significantly higher amount of the chores which had previously been mine. I Do Everything Around Here And No Offense But No One Else Does Aaanyyythingg, he cries. Newftm confronts him with a series of reasonable points which wares down hetftm quickly, thus he diverts his attention to me. No Offense But Tyler You Do Nothing So We're Gonna Have To Make Some Changes Around Here. "Tee Hee" I say, grinning and leaning in, blinking at him, "I love my Nothing". He frequently lobs shit at me because he knows I don't take his shit personally nor seriously. This is Our Bit. Okay Fiiiine, I Know Thats Not True, he says, cracking up, But The Rest Of Yall Better Not Ask My Disabled Ass To Do Anything! The tension is diffused momentarily as he cackles at my maintained goofy stare in his direction, face resting in my hands, and we all then agree to move on and simply let my chores be distrubuted in perfretly equal part amongst those remaining here, much to het's displeasure (he had been attempting to evade this outcome). Rentmoid sits with Partner on stools at the kitchen island, overseeing the livingroom, looking as though questioning every decision he's made up to this point. Hazbin Hotel NB is sitting cross-legged on the floor, scrolling through instagram reels. Hetftm and Newftm stare daggers at one another in between Hetftm attempting to delegate the chores. Lesbian Bestie and I sit beside them on the couch making pointed eye contact towards one another. Girl... Help! Finally, with roughly 30 minutes of chore deliberation out of the way, at last, Hetftm sighs, twirls his pompom-endowed pen, and asks– does anyone else have a concern they'd like to bring up? PLEASE say no! Newftm, who really should have a more differentiating moniker, hmm, lets go with Scammer for reasons we'll get into later... Scammer leans in, looking initially all too pleased to have to say Yes.

Scammer clears his throat, shifts his weight, straightens his back against the couch cushions, and addresses the silenced room in a suddenly somber tone: "Yes," he repeats. He takes a deep inhale, sighs it out, staring down as though deep in contemplation, then looks up, eyes widened. Stares.

"The Couch Has Fleas."

[amorphousgreydragon]

Do Sayaka and Homura hate eachother (in the timeloops)?

or, "why does Homura ask Sayaka for permission to kill her for Madoka's sake?"

To answer this question, I will take a look at the scene in episode 9 "I was such an idiot" where Homura decides to execute Sayaka, and show just how much deeper it is than most think:

A lot of people I've heard and even myself think/thought that Homura doesn't care about Sayaka or is frustrated by her, which I believe are both false.

We know that since Homura chased after Sayaka's soul gem after it was thrown away that she does

1. take chances for Sayaka's sake- she isn't just waiting for the magical girl to die, she hasn't given up on other girl like she tells Madoka to because for the pinkette's sake, of course Homura would be a hypocrite, lying only supported by her cold, detached attitude which she has consciously fostered through the entire series beforehand.

2. She does care for Sayaka, for this would have been the perfect time to destroy the azurette's soul gem without any of it even being watched by Kyubey, since he was just as surprised by Madoka's actions as everyone else was.

Now, I will move on to the scene in question:

It starts with Homura coming up to Sayaka after she's done killing a familiar. Homura talks about how Sayaka needs to conserve magic, needs to take care of her own soul gem and hunt witches instead to preserve her own life. Sayaka says she doesn't need to help herself because she plans on dying, either by running low on magic, not having the strength to fight witches anymore or having low magic in itself cause her death. She falls to her knees infront of Homura, she accuses Homura not to care about anything, she insults Homura's kindness all the while expecting the ravenette to run away afterwards, simply shrugging Sayaka off and leaving her to die.

Stopping here, there are already several things to go over: first of all, Sayaka here is starting to curse the world and has already been shown to lash out at others, even Madoka for the first and last time ever. The reason why this apparent hatred of Homura is taken at face value while Madoka's is not is because while Sayaka immidiately shows that she regrets being mean to Madoka, she doesn't get a scene to show it with Homura (which wouldn't happen in this timeline anyways). Point is: Sayaka looking through Homura and only seeing stuff she hates is taking her words at face value while forgetting everything leading up to this point. Sayaka is starting to abandone everything and everyone herself in that moment. She is haunting mirror to what might eventually become Homura if the timelines go on, and that's Sayaka's way of addressing it.

Homura rejects this with her words but is pained by Sayaka's words still as we see from her expression. Homura does care about Sayaka, she doesn't grieve being unable to save Sayaka anymore for her own health, but she does care. She's never stopped caring. I think what happened with this scene is that people project their own feelings onto Homura, both those of frustration at Sayaka's unwillingness to be helped and at Sayaka insulting Homura. People are frustrated at Sayaka for feeling and acting the way she does in this scenario which causes them to use the emotionally reserved and cryptic dismissal of the girl's perspective by Homura as confirmation that the ravenette feels like them, the audience.

My counterpoints to that interpretation follow now:

At that point in the scene Homura decides to execute Sayaka, proclaiming her devotion to Madoka's safety as absolute, while the azurette stares shocked.

The way she decides to do this is suspect: first, she bends down to Sayaka's level and then lets her hand light up with a purple glow- a purple touch that would kill her. This is already very strange for killing an already downed magical girl, seemingly taking more magic than should be necessary while also putting up a lot more of a show than necessary, but it gets stranger. Homura slowly comes closer to Sayaka, reaching out with her glowing hand, as if daring the other girl to do something. In the end, before Homura reaches Sayaka Kyouko appears and holds the other girl back. Spurred on by Kyouko defending her, Sayaka slowly walks away, drained but still going. After only a few moments, Homura bluffs her way into escaping Kyouko's hold, after which neither meet Sayaka again until the moments before she becomes a witch.

This scene shows in my eyes that Homura cares a lot about Sayaka because she has no reason to let the other girl live like that and she also had no reason not to use a gun.

The reason she didn't use a gun is this: Sayaka before exclaimed how she doesn't care about her own life anymore, and Homura wanted to give the girl a chance to prove herself wrong. Homura wanted to provoke the girl into showing self-preservation, into showing any kind of attachment to the world, anything she has left to fight for like how Homura fights for Madoka.

In the end, just like all the times Homura and Sayaka butt heads, the ravenette avoids hurting the knight in any way. We never see Homura try and hurt Sayaka, the only thing we see if her knocking the azurette out cold to avoid confrontations with Kyouko and then we see her agree to "fight" Sayaka, which we never see her do, which I would doubt her intentions were at that point given the fact she saves her life right after.

Besides Homura's words we have no reason to believe she would have killed Sayaka in this scene unless the fallen knight let her do it.

In the end, Homura gets what she wants, in a way. Kyouko's care for Sayaka in this rare moment gives the azurette the boost enough to escape with her life, which is why I believe the ravenette let her go in the first place: with timestop it would have been easy to chase her down if she was serious about killing someone who she loves and cares about.

But in Homura's mind, this is enough. She doesn't want to hunt Sayaka down like an animal, she doesn't want to end the story and not believe there is something else that could happen ever. She doesn't want to give up on Sayaka, the only time she does is when Sayaka gives up on herself, well and truly.

Sayaka finds a magical girl to go on for, even for just a moment, but on the train, the very next scene, she loses her faith in humanity. And Kyouko doesn't need her to live. Humans do. Humans need heroes, Humans need magical girls to protect them. But when Sayaka loses the last shred of hope in even her duty as a magical girl, nothing else is left to make her suffering, her sacrifice, her life have meaning.

When she tells Kyouko that she was just an idiot what she's saying is that the redhead never should have saved her. Never should have cared.

Should have just let Homura kill her, right then and there.

And here comes to the second headline, the reason why this post is tagged "Homusaya"

Sayaka doesn't have a reason to go on anymore, but Homura shows her she does have a reason to die. Homura offers Sayaka an escape. All the other girl needs to do to live is to back away, all she needs to do is affirm she wants to continue living, that she does have something left to fight for, and Homura would back away, maybe even help the girl to her feet, hopeful.

And when she doesn't, Homura offers her hand, her touch, offering Sayaka to die peacefully instead.

Sending her off with the knowledge that her death would protect Madoka. Sending her off with the knowledge that Homura cares. Allowing the knight to leave her burdens behind while Homura holds her.

Idc what anyone says that's hella romantic

[hearts4alastair]

here's your reminder:

hey. you're older now. do that thing you wanted to do four years ago. buy the thing. make the thing. start the thing. finish the thing. just do it. then your only regret will be not doing it sooner.

[antirepurp]

delivering controversial takes to the "the gang plays minecraft" discussion

[usagifuyusummer]

I think in between Chapters 3 and 4 in the Weird Route, I've heard it's mentioned that Kris was the one to bring Berdly to the hospital??? Instead of you know, the ones who should have been the most concerned about him, his parents????? (And I guess Noelle too, but with Kris [the player] manipulating them, their dad in the hospital, their mom being like THAT..., then maybe it slipped her mind about whether or not her friend got back home safely after the library session.)

This implies that Berdly's parents are not actively present in his life. Which is probably hinted at through his relationship with Queen from Chapter 2. There's really a lot of hints that show how Berdly is often overlooked or, most importantly, FORGOTTEN by everyone. Even most of the playerbase hates his guts lmao.

Deltarune's main ending theme song is, "Don't Forget", and there is a character in the game that is very much ignored, sidelined, hated, and FORGOTTEN (even by his parents????). Which is the antithesis of the theme, "Don't Forget". It's interesting how Toby managed to create a meta effect like this with Berdly.

Plus, with how attention needy he is, and his mega focus on his identity to be perceived as an intellectual individual, it is really obvious how Berdly has self-esteem issues mounting up. I imagine if he were to get older, he would eventually become more apathetic and cynical if his self-esteem issues are not addressed. He needs someone to affirm that he exists because nobody does so far. (Other than Noelle, which is his closest friend after the spelling bee incident [but she's also in multitude of problems right now and can't help him] and Kris, I'm not sure when they started to become friends, but we do know that they are gaming rivals. [who lacks control of themselves and can only help him when they are in control]).

So far, I think Berdly's parents are very successful monsters in their careers and are very often absent from Berdly's life. The only way Berdly can get their attention and love is by excellent academic grades (which I...., very much understand the situation).

I headcanon that Berdly's dad is probably either a businessman, an aviation mechanic, or a doctor (they are birds so probably on another hospital, they can fly) and Berdly's mom is probably a university lecturer (that's probably why we don't see her as a teacher at the only school known in Hometown so far, plus with Berdly's obsession on being perceived as smart, it would make sense that one of Berdly's parents being involved in academic type occupations), or a businesswomen.

I wonder what Toby is going to do with Berdly's character next. I don't really have high hopes in him being a major important character, but so far, Berdly has been a fascinating mystery to me with how Toby is using him as a symbol and tool to carry other characters narrative and for the main story of Deltarune. (while also implying some very dark stuff with the way he is using Berdly.)

Something i drew quickly, sort’ve my own take on berdly’s relationship with his parents.

I personally believe that his parents.. or parent i guess, are more neglectful. I mostly interpreted berdly’s spelling bee backstory being him finally getting attention from them after so long, and as a result he becomes more ‘obsessed’ with being smart or ‘the best’, because it’s really the only way his parents would pay attention to him.

But of course, they can only praise him so much until it becomes the norm, and it’s only expected of berdly to do good now and ‘isn’t worth the praise’.

This is mostly based off of the universal mother theory and the interactions with berdly and queen. I know people have already done stuff like this but. Just pretend you’re seeing it for the first time okay hahaahaha

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

‘The timeless child means that river would have to be Amy and the doctors daughter’

Hey, hey come here, I have something to tell you. Ignore the hammer

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

[fideidefenswhore]

[Henry] had asked Lady Shelton whether Mary [was] persisting in her obstinancy. Hearing that she was, Henry became certain that she was being encouraged by secret communication from Katharine. Lady Shelton thought the only possible messenger was Mary's chamber woman. In this she was correct. The maid had been smuggling letters in and out. She was dismissed, as was Mary's confessor, to be replaced by one whom Chapuys characterised as 'Lutheran'.

The King’s Pearl: Henry VIII & His Daughter Mary, Melita Thomas

[revelation-empyrean]

Aethel is quiet. Her hands freeze as she's putting on a pair of gloves, and her eyes lower in what almost seems like somber acceptance. All of her sighs and pinched expressions compound into one very clear exhaustion.

"I had a feeling you'd catch onto me." Aethel sighs, "I'm afraid I'm not as subtle as I wish to be."

She pulls her gloves over her wrists. Then, reaching into the cart, she brings out a few small brushes, and a plastic container with some sort of paste in it.

"Honesty…" Aethel looks out into the window—the sun has yet to set—then distributes these brushes amongst the three of them, "Fine. I suppose we have the time for it. There's no use in hiding what you seem to already know, besides."

She shuts off the jets. Then she pulls the plug out of the drain. And she watches as the water swirls into the center, a blackhole or maybe a vortex.

"I've long held a disdain for Mr. Finley in particular. While I try not to be prejudiced against hotel guests, even if I do not share the same views as them, I cannot help but feel a certain… disgust when it comes to him."

The water fully drained, Aethel devotes her attention to scrubbing the aqua jets. She leans over, back bent and shoulders rolled, and scrubs the pumps like one would a very large tooth. She continues to speak as she does.

"Do you know how he gained his wealth? His family claims it's through all of their business ventures and investments. While the Finleys do own such things, they have a secret, more lucrative market that they tap into..."

Aethel sighs. She hates to even think about it. "...They are in the business of peddling people. They sell and transport cheap labor in massive quantities to anyone who might need it. Mr. Finley's connections are the sole reason why they can consistently get away with it."

"I thought, at first, that the mysterious disappearances could not have been attributed to him. He certainly has enough power to make people disappear without a trace, and it's within his best interest to be spiriting people away, perhaps into the workforce of whatever industry might need them. But I didn't think he would dare do something like that in Empyrea, given his ties with Mr. Cranebill. Seeing Mr. Cranebill's ring here, though… I wonder if they're working together."

Aethel sets the brush down. She turns to the two of them, partly to check their progress on the cleaning, but also to address them properly.

"Why did I want you to meet him? It was entirely selfish. While Mr. Finley would indeed be a strong partner or recommendation to have, I felt that if you met him, I could have gained an ally against him. You two are in the perfect position to get close to him, without falling for his lies."

"There. That's my honesty."

@icyqull

sorry my parda's at the cleaners

along with my hoodie and my fuck-you flip-flops || networking with aethel and aventurine || #ghrevelation2025 week one

[ehlnofay]

I've been having fun dipping into martin's perspective lately... it's helping me flesh out my interpretation of him and he never fails to be suffering tremendously in a way that is excellent to write

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[heapstone]

.