#and she gets it

[actual-changeling]

I found the first part of this in my drafts, dating back all the way to February (written right after episode 5 aired I believe), and I simply had to finish it. It's just a little ficlet for once, no title, nothing big. Just the missing scene where Ellie gets the hug she needs and Joel reaches an important understanding.

-

It's the way Ellie looks at him, Joel realizes afterward, when the bodies are buried and they're walking along overgrown rusted cars and rubble. She is a child, fourteen years old and without anyone who ever took responsibility for her. No one to raise her, protect her, give her the comfort of a parent keeping their child safe. FEDRA takes in whatever healthy children they can find (usually not even bothering with the ones that aren't) and raises them to be soldiers, to follow orders, emotional care deemed unnecessary. They're not the only ones only focusing on how to survive in a world that doesn't know a Before, only an After.

Joel remembers how it should be, though. Remembers Sarah in his arms, small and helpless, screaming for him because it was the only thing she knew how to do. He always came, every single time she cried for him he answered. There is a look of complete and unconditional trust children have for their parents, their caregivers, an acceptance of an unspoken promise.

I will take care of you.

It was the last thing he saw in Sarah's eyes before she died.

He subconsciously recognizes it in Ellie, Sam's blood spattered across the floor, her face, her clothes, and his instincts drive him to act, leaning forward to get to her without any hesitation. The same deep-seated parental fear lives on, too, it always will, and it sparks up in him again and again and again with every threat to Ellie's life. Kill the soldier, shoot the infected, keep her away from harm, get her somewhere safe. Joel would have build a new world for Sarah, brick upon brick stacked with his bare hands, but he lost her before he could try. Ellie is his second chance.

Henry stops him from getting to her, growl building in his throat, and then Henry is gone just like his brother, and Ellie's whimper echoes louder than the gun shot. Pain flares in his knees when he finally drops down next to her, arms outstretched, grasping, and she falls into him stiff with panic, eyes wide open. She is warm, alive, and Joel can feel her frantic heartbeat pounding beside his own as he cradles her against his chest. The sudden silence rings in his ears, drowned out only by the tiny, hiccuping sobs ripping through her, and Joel responds without thinking, pulling her further into his lap and gently rocking them back and forth.

Twenty years ago, he did the same covered in blood with a dead daughter in his arms, and the memory fades in and out in time with her breaths, suffocating him as a part of him expects every exhale to be her last. One of his hands comes up to cup the back of her head, fingers buried in her hair, and Joel carefully pushes her face down until it fills the space between his neck and shoulder, eyes covered and kept away from the death lingering around them. He whispers mindlessly against her scalp, less coherent words and more soothing noises, not seeking to quiet her but to provide whatever comfort he can.

They're both shaking with adrenaline and fear, and Ellie clings to him so tightly their tremors are one and the same, her fingers clawing at his shirt, nails digging into his back. His skin is wet with her tears and Joel can't help but press his lips to her temple in a desperate attempt to help her calm down, previous resistance gone. All of his walls and defenses shattered the second she screamed his name so loudly her voice broke, begging him to safe her, and no matter how much he denies it, he will always be a father at heart. Joel needs a purpose, a reason to keep going, to let a child cry in his arms because he is the only thing standing between her and the world, committed to shielding her from whatever horrors he can as long as he is alive.

Ellie trusted him and he failed her today.

In-between sobs, she quietly whimpers his name like a chant, asking him to take away a pain he knows she shouldn't have to bear, aching with the awareness that she will never be the same after all she had to endure.

Joel soothes his hand along her spine, rubbing circles up and down her back, and he makes a promise to himself, to her, to Sarah's memory on his wrist.

He won't let another daughter die.

[crepuscular-haze]

FINE ILL DO IT MYSELF (I needed this chorus on my dash because it’s been in my head on loop for days now)

[succubusted]

every now and then I can have a conversation with my mother about art and it reminds me that she used to actually be a person and not just an angry ghost

[livingthedragonlife]

laios is perhaps the only character not to get the "they mentioned their favorite food once and the fandom makes it their whole personality" treatment. his favorite food is cheesecake and absolutely nobody cares

[cordspaghetti]

really factual recounting with no embellishments whatsoever

[everythingwasnormalhere]

pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual

im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

[noodles-and-tea]

B plot where Mabel joins the fireside girls

[muffinlance]

My baby daughter got her adorable puffin-print dress absolutely CAKED in mud crawling around the yard and my first thought was "oh no her beautiful dress"

And my second thought was "oh huh it really WOULD be easy to unconsciously steer her away from playing in the dirt. Unlike my son, whose outfits are usually some kind of solid dark easily washed pants plus a shirt that doesn't trail in the dirt like a dress does."

Anyway something something gender roles start getting shoved on kids from literal birth, but with a little time to think about things, YOU TOO can let your children of any gender absolutely destroy their clothes in the dirt pit they're digging in your garden

[beaft]

my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it's just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn't tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what's he gonna say? "didn't you used to have tits?"

[wrenchwenches]

[starrysharks]

ghanaian miku

[sabertoothwalrus]

modern au laios

[nat-20s]

name a more iconic thing to happen for the fictional qpr community than Donna Noble quite literally meeting her soulmate and being like hmm. there's no one I've ever wanted to fuck less

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.