#and she literally snaps and goes
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idk i just think it’s a little weird that almost every character who gets the “innocent baby” / “little ray of sunshine” treatment usually ends up just having neurodivergent traits and actual negative traits in the show that nobody pays attention to. like idk man it just feels like diet infantilization to me and it’s a teeny weeny bit uncomfortable to see all the time
#what’s even weirder is that half of these precious sunshine baby characters will canonically have some kind of temper too 😭😭#like sorry I don’t think Adrien is an innocent ray of sunshine he was literally destroying property out of spite 😭😭#cal.txt#autism stuff#fandom ableism#infantilization#she ra spop#entrapta#spn#supernatural#jack kline#autistic jack kline#adrien agreste#Like of course he isn’t canonically ND but the whole angle of his social awkwardness and unawareness#miraculous ladybug#it’s still a common trait in ND people and it’s probably the most infantilized aspect of us#but come on man#and don’t even get me started on jack. we know how I feel#TLDR jack strangling the gas n sip employee in a rage so blind he had to be shot in the back to snap out of it#like am I alone in this am I detecting a pattern that nobody else is .#siigghhh#we will never be free 😭😭😭😭#castiel#at some point in the fandom and probably still in a few corners#autistic representation#this goes for when a character is simply coded that way too#like I cannot stress enough how coding and representation work#I also cannot stress enough that ableism does not have to be intentional to be ableism holy BALLS dude#you can do it by accident!!! you can play into tropes that you didn’t realize were bad!!!! ITS NOT A MORAL FAILING ON YOUR PART#it’s just a product of society like everything else.
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Do people genuinely forget that the Traveler had had zero intimate/purely positive interactions with Furina before the whole execution thing? Because I feel like they do. The Traveler became semi-friends / acquaintances with her during her story quest and that became more cemented during the 4.3 event
#THIS IS NO HATE TOWARDS THE CHARACTER JUST ME BEING ANNOYED ABT THE FANDOM#and the whole ‘omg they didn’t respect her boundaries!!’ thing everybody goes on about#they literally did??.#when she says no to acting they ask her if she knows anyone. she again says no and then they ask her if she’s completely sure#this causing her to snap at them. they understand why and leave it at that and go help the acting troupe#Furina comes to the guild all on her own with the intention of seeing how things are and maybe helping#the traveler notices them and drags them ot and then the story quest starts off#Furina could leave whenever she wanted. nobody was stopping her#also about the whole pulling Furina thing. I can guarantee that if it was animated like an anime you would’ve all laughed your amasses off#just imagine it for a sec. it was clearly meant as humorous. Genshin dialogue cutscenes just aren’t the most animated meaning they had—#limited options to work with#and like. about Paimon’s line about her house. I completely get where she comes from#Furina literally lives under a bridge while her previous living arengment was the aplaca Mer Onia (I can’t spell). of course Paimon’s gonna#especially when neuvillet said that he was gonna make sure she had everything she needed#genshin impact#furina#furina genshin impact#furina story quest
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Playlist listened to while writing; https://spotify.link/WzxvdTKBCJb
Holy shit dude, the ceo of rei angst wrote some rei angst what the HELL!! We have to kill her guys she cant keep getting away with this.
Anyways im gonna be writing about a lot of these nerds. I just love rei. This is really rushed and I am really sleepy so it is not my best writing.
Also i cannot write teruya so you will habe to ppppUT UP WITH IT.
Warnings for like. Violence and my attempt at writing a breakdown.
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Rei held the rusty pipe like a baseball bat, swinging for a homerun as she smacked off the head of someone she once knew. Someone who had abandoned her long ago.
The rotting head of what used to be her mother rolled on the ground, sickly green skin squishing against the ground and stared up at her with lifeless eyes.
“I didn’t want to see you again like this,” Rei hissed as her chest heaved, “i wanted to see you staring with regret as you saw your daughter on top of the world. I didn’t want to kill you or see you dead.”
That had been the second time she had run into her zombified mother. The first, she had been a coward, unable to kill her and her father– the two people she hated most, the two people who had abandoned her and left her on the streets.
Where had all her rage gone that time. When had she become soft.
-
Midori clung to Ryutaro with all the strength in her frail body. “My brother,” she whispered, “i saw my brother’s corpse down there. Kakeru… he… they got Kakeru… they killed Kakeu…”
He didn’t say much in return, but he did pat her hand briefly– the only comforting action he could manage while carrying her.
“I see a store up ahead. Let’s stop by there for supplies.” Keisuke pointed out to the leader of the bunch.
Setsuka patted the clown on the back and gave him a smile. “Sounds good, lead the way. Maki, do you need me to carry Yamaguchi for a bit?”
Midori wrapped her arms and legs around Ryutaro a bit tighter at the suggestion, very much attached to the guy who had found her and saved her from zombies.
“I’ll be fine until we reach the stop.” The blonde nodded his acknowledgement to the bluenette, forcing a smile as he struggled to catch up.
The group walked in silence for a bit, the only sounds being the orchestra of distant zombie groans.
“Miss Yamaguchi,” Hikaru said after bit, his tone fatherly like usual, “may I check your pulse soon? And may I check if the swelling on your ankles has gone down?”
“Yeah, that… sounds good. Thank you, Uncle.”
-
Kanata removed the bandages from Ayame’s arm gradually.
“There isn’t any sign of infection, Hatano. Kinjo and Maki are still out, so… uhm… can I get you something to eat?” The surgeon spoke softly as she stared at the sprinter.
“I’m not hungry…” Ayame mumbled.
“Inori!” Tomori slammed the door open, her eyes sunken from lack of sleep, “i think i got bit. Check! Check, please!!”
Kanata bit back a sigh of exasperation and forced out her cheerful smile. “Of course. Where do you think you were bit this time?”
“My ankle. They went after my ankle so I couldn’t run! They’re going to eat me. I’m going to die, aren’t I? Oh, god, I’m going to die!” The cheerleader’s words were jumbled together and practically nonsensical. She grabbed onto Kanata’s shoulders as she spoke, her nails digging into the other’s lab coat and pressing her skin uncomfortably.
“Miss Tomori,” Kanata winced, “please let go of me. I will check your ankle, but I am sure you are fine.”
“I’m not fine!” Kizuna wailed before glaring accusatory daggers at Ayame. “If you… if you hadn't gotten yourself bitten! If you had just seen that bitch for what she is! We wouldnt be doomed! You’ve doomed us all!”
Ayame took the words without fighting back. What had been the point in fighting anymore? Kizuna was right. She had doomed them all.
“Miss Tomori, please… Taira had us all fooled… if Miss Hatano is to blame, then so are the rest of us…” the blonde murmured. “Please sit down so I can check your ankle…”
-
Mindless. Kinji was mindless. His faith had only been able to spare him for so long.
His teeth were decayed now. His skin was green and purple and yellow. His eyes were dull. His cheeks were sunken.
It was incredible that his mind stayed intact long enough for him to bury as many as he did. The only bodies he didn’t put 6 feet under, the only bodies he couldn’t handle burying, were those of the people he knew.
But what was the point?
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Yuki held his stomach as he choked up and spat out the last meal he had, beans that had barelt even begun to digest.
“Urgh… gross…” he mumbled to himself.
Shinji was away at the moment, scouting out for the next safe place for them to go and likely trying to find his family in the process.
The lucky student fought back envious tears. At least they knew there was a chance that Shinji’s family was alive– they found his mother, Aiko, brutally murdered in the Maeda household. Her corpse was bloated and rotted when they found it.
The sight still haunted his dreams. He couldn’t even keep.meals down since he saw it.
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Mikako peered into her brother’s lab. He hadn’t eaten in quite some time, nor had he slept.
“Yamato…” she whispered hesitantly.
He spun around with a dart ready in his hand. He only lowered it after he registered it was her.
“Mikako, I’ve told you to leave me alone. I need to find a cure, or no one will be safe.” The inventor turned back to his work and threw a crumpled up piece of paper to the side.
“I’m sure someone else is searching for a cure, Yamato. Why not try to make a vaccine? Some sort of immunity would help while someone else finds a cure.” The exorcist suggested.
Her brother didn’t seem to have heard. That, or he was ignoring her.
“Ah… nevermind.” She straightened her back and spun on her heel to hunt down their other classmates.
For the newcomers, Satsuki was putting on a performance– juggling empty bottles and broken gadgets whilst telling jokes. That could not be safe, but Haruhiko seemed to have his eyes on her.
The bunker door heaved open, and Teruya’s team came in, carrying boxes full of food and other supplies.
“We’re back with dinner!” The merchant shouted.
Mikako rushed over to take the box from him.
“Thank you, Otori, this should be good for at least a week. You and your scavenger team did good.”
He grinned at her and handed his box over. “Thanks! We uh…” he hesitated, “We saw Taira and Maeda… err… Utsuro? On our flight back… they looked like they were heading somewhere… dunno where…”
She bit her tongue and nodded thankfully at him. “Thank you for telling me.”
-
Thats it. Im hungry good bye.
Aw yeah infection Au moment! I do remember you saying a while back that you wanted to write something about Rei in this Au and MAN her part has gotta be my favorite out of these little snippets.
I really like taking a look at how a bunch of the cast is doing, seeing the way you wrote them in those situations was pretty fun! It reminded me how much i like the idea of Setsuka's like group with the 6.5 cast and how Kanata probably wishes she has a degree in psychology to properly deal with Ayame and Kizuna (she may feel as if she's not doing enough for them seing as her kindness can only bring her so far when dealing with their turmoil)
#i really like thinking about the voids + hibiki in this au too#i never explained this before because i wanted to draw something for it but oh well#basically at one point the voids (as in Nikei Hajime and Emma since Iroha has been zombified and ran away by now) steal some suplies from#Syobai's apocalypse mob. so he sends Kanade and Hibiki to “take care of them” for him#because Kanade has deal with Syobai where she's essentially works as his executor whenever he needs it#and in exchange he lets her take things rom his stocks when she pleases (she mainly takes weapons. the crazier the better)#and you know. Hibiki i in her puppet stage so she goes along#so the twins go after the voids in their mad max-esc apocalypse car and after a while Kanade manages to corner them#and Hibiki takes this opportunity to stab her in the back :) literally#because turns out Hibiki snapped out of her puppet stage at some point a while back. and seeing Kanades terrifying true nature#she wanted to put an end to her madness but for the time being she kept pretending to be under her control. because she wa looking for the#right opportunity to deal a killing blow without because Kanade is a better fighter than her#this opportunity turned out to be the voids! she explains the whole story to them and offers to do something for them to make up#for the hell Kanade and her put them through (chasing them around for several days and getting into fights)#so Hajime asks for her to hand over all of her supplies. Emma asks for the car. and Nikei asks her if she has any information about#a possible cure for the virus (because he feels somewhat guilty for what happened to Iroha) and Hibiki tells her she knows of a scientist#that's working on one and recives chemicals suplies from Syobai (because he wants this capitalize on this cure whenever it gets done)#So by Nikei's orders Hibiki tricks Mikado into giving her a stash of Kokoro's solution and goes with the voids in a search for Iroha#so that they can give her the prototype cure (which works just as a virus suppressant so far) before she reaches a stage where her mind is#too far gone. so overtime Hibiki essentially becomes a void member and she has friends again for the first time since forever#i like infection au Hibiki a lot. i had a sketch of her and Kanade somewhere i think#super danganronpa another 2#danganronpa another#dra#sdra2#zombie au#infection au#hyena ramblings
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The idea that a god-like character with (supposedly) unlimited powers should snap their fingers at the end of a TV series and remove all pain and terrible things in the world so humans no longer had any suffering is the most BAFFLING thing I have ever heard. WHY DID THE SHOW EVER EXIST IF FIXING THINGS WAS THAT EASY??????
#It seems like this 'gotcha' card that overrides any argument someone could have#but it's actually the laziest zero thought behind it belief I have ever seen#And it complete ignores the function and structure of a story#Holy shit#Like... that's literally Adam and Eve before Eve ate the apple#That kind of utopia is literally in the Bible and in general is considered bad#It was certainly painted as bad in the show! Because Eve gave us free will and choice and the opportunity to self-determine who we are#And that's good! That's considered better than the Garden of Eden!#And yes choices have led to the godawful structures in place on Earth today and all the godawful death and suffering that goes with it#BUT THIS STUPID LITTLE TV SHOW ABOUT THE DEVIL WASN'T SPEAKING ABOUT ALL THE EVILS IN THE WORLD!!!#It was talking about how you always have a choice to do better! That everyone can be redeemed!#It's a much MUCH narrower scope because that's what story does! It picks one thing and speaks to it#And sometimes that thing is indeed Wow modern capitalism has completely fucked the world like The Good Place showed#But even The Good Place didn't use the Judge to snap her fingers and change Earth#She could have! She certainly had the power too!#But no instead they argued against wiping out the entire Earth and starting over in favor of revamping the afterlife instead#to allow people a second chance and support to do better#Which is EXACTLY where Lucifer ended up too with the titular character playing therapist in Hell#That is a strong ending! That is a hopeful ending! Because it's speaking to the audience as individuals and saying you have a choice#You always have a choice to do better. No mistake you make is too irredeemable so don't let yourself drown guilt#because guilt fixes nothing. Only your choice to try again can change things#God snapping their fingers and rewriting Earth is not a hopeful; realistic; or satisfying ending to a 6 season show about free will!#It makes no sense!#like jfc I don't want to drag one singular person through the mud but their opinions are just so mind-boggingly to me#It's like beating my head against the wall
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hi. for people who saw gatsby: an american myth. do you remember mckee asking nick for lunch. and then gatsby in like the next scene inviting nick for lunch. because i remember.
#not pjo#chitter chatter#when gatsby was like 'we should do lunch' i was like. hello. fucking. hello. are we. hello.#gatsby really said we just met literally 5 minutes ago. come meet my father figure. normal normal thing to do jay.#to be clear gatsby also asks him to go to lunch in the book. but like. there's a time skip. and also#in the show after mckee asks they immediately start making out on the couch. none of this ... nonsense#so the vibes are a LITTLE different in my brain.#i saw a few people say they didnt think gatsby and nick flirted enough and like while i do think that think part of it is we're#in nick's pov but not his HEAD#he DOES start singing about gatsby's smile for no reason until jordon is like. alright buddy. lets talk about daisy.#like nick was just Doing That. pull it together carraway.#but i got the vibe (JUST my take) that gatsby was like. kinda into nick. zero reason to be leaning into his space like that sir.#however when he actually MET daisy again he became kinda singularly focused on her again#i mean he built his whole lifeup to this moment#he says it at the end. he murdered pieces of himself to bring himself here. for DAISY.#him snapping back to daisy mode makes sense to me but he still reaches out for nick as a comfort in the sense that hes like#nick do NOT leave please stay with us. daisy does the same. and ofc part is that theyre really. fucking awkward. but like.#LET ME HAVE MY OWN NONSENSE INTERPRETATIONS. HES TRAPPED BY WHITENESS AND CLASS AND HETEROSEXUALITY.#hes already so much of an outsider trying to fit in. (i also think he loves daisy or an ideal at least. and she's EASIER to love. safer.)#nick inherently has more freedom even as a gay man in the sense that hes richer and white and an ivy league dude i mean you understand righ#right????????#even if its in the book i do wanna point out the parallels between those moments. im choosing to see it as deeply intentional <3#this show had a lot of repetition and parallels (see daisy and myrtle in a lot of songs and scenes)#(one i LOVE is tom giving myrtle a necklace and daisy later giving TOM her necklace in case he sees anyone he knows. idk love that shit)#im...gonna queue this#im embarrassed to talk about this show so much. so. into the queue it goes!!!#all the worlds a stage#so like. anyway. thats where i think nick's mind immediately went when gastsby asked him for lunch. personal headcanon <3#gatsby after one convo: we're doing lunch // me and nick immediately: oh ok! guess that's a date then!
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Ok but here's also some shit I remember about Yakuza 4 that absolutely tickles me
Akiyama is a stupid slut who thinks a single row of books is enough to hide his big money vault; that he has more chemistry with Arai and Tanimura than Yasuko (the girl he's pining over because he looks like his old crush that he somehow hasn't gotten over yet); and that Mack called him a "washed up p0rnstar". He is hilarious when he's not being creepy to Yasuko.
One of Akiyama's revelations involves a panty thief falling off a building in slow motion to overly dramatical classical music as underwear flies everywhere (or something like that)
Nair was the best character in the game and deserved her own spinoff
Hana deserved better than [gestures to the entire game] this
Some random, non-Majima related Saejima things: his mentor makes him punch rocks in some underground tunnels to get stronger; he pulls out a big chunk of wood and starts carving whenever he has a revelation; the developers thought Kido - a Wocky Kitoky ass looking kid - would make a good final boss for him; the scene where he finally reunites with his old oyabun is absolutely devastating
considerin you remember more akiyama stuff the most i think if we wrangled that other anon who remembered stuff about saejima and we get two more people who remembered more abuot kiryu and tanimura we can make a vague composite of Y4's plot
#snap chats#youre so right about akiyama and Everyone But Yasuko tho its so funny#RGG not being able to write women leads to things like this where straight people just cant exist#arai and akiyama are literally yaoi divorced idc about akiyamas ex#SPEAKING OF THO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT ? LIT WHAT WAS THE POINT#IS IT SO HE'D HELP HER CAUSE I THOUGHT HE JUST DOES THAT ANYWAY#see this is why we ignore Y4 akiyama a fuckin weirdo in it but in Y5 he's the best uncle you could ask for#at least until Y6 then where the FUCK was he when haruka was alone#wait help i just remembered the akiyama fight fro Y6 and i love how if the fight goes on long enough#akiyama's just :(( Kiryu Please I Dont Want To Fight You :(((#i forgot to make an appreciation post for that whole fight my god what is wrong with me#im so off topic anyway yeah youre right i remember the underground boulder fist fighting too <3#HANA DID DESERVE BETTER THOUGH SHE'S LITERALLY TOO GOOD FOR THIS SERIES#why the fuck they make her skinny in ishin boys we riot
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i want to rage about the lack of quality in the meddison tag rn. when will we learn media literacy because i'm real FUCKING tired.
#why are we all infantilizing meredith!!!!!!! i'm going to fucking scream#the dynamic literally goes both ways (hello healthy relationship??) AND all of these fic situations would be so much fucking BETTER if the#dynamic was reversed.#no meredith does not cry or miss people or feel emotion she pushes it down until she can't feel it. but if you made that character ADDISON#automatically would be a fic i would read even if the writing quality is shit because at least you have the characters down#i'm tired of caring about being mean or petty about this literally it's not that hard to watch an episode and see what they're like. watch#one episode of season 1 and you can see meredith's complete inability to process emotion. it's not that fucking hard.#watch one episode of season 2 and you can see the way addison snaps and acts tough and cold and then falls apart when no one is looking.#thea talks#rant post
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hey y'all, anyone have any good stress relief tehniques or habits they'd like to share cuz I've been more stressed in the last 3 weeks then I was in the last 6 months
#to cut the long story short my mom had to sell the old house cuz her broke ass couldnt afford to keep it up#eventho it is a whole ass hoarders house and was in shambles with a flooded basement a collapsing ceiling in at least 2 rooms plus mold#and the stench a dirt and dog piss and shit all over the floor really made it worse then it was#but yeah so shes been staying with me and my grandma and its been awful#she hasnt been taking any of the medicine the doctors gave her when she snapped and started a fight and also started screaming at neighbour#so shes been terrorizing us here while the house has become her second hoarders den since she dragged so much crap here#my backyard side entrance and front porch are full of her shit and my grandma hates it since she can barely step into the house#so since she kept looking for places way out of her budget i had to go do house hunting since my useless sister is busy getting lit again#so ive been showing her shit in her price range that was under 420k cuz im not a moron who looks at 800k homes when i have 570k#and each time she has a new complaint saying its too expenive or its too small or its too old when she said she wants to do renovations#but shes saying she wants to renovate a newly renovated place instead of an old one#so i just showed her a house near my sisters uni and she liked the inside & backyard but she complained that 400k for newly renovated 3 bed#that is literally a 9 minute drive from my sisters uni is too expensive when shes the one who was looking at an old ass unrenovated bungalo#that is a street over from us that is 800k and she says it looks like garbage cuz an old lady previously owned it before dying#like no shit it looks old cuz older people lived those decades and like it and she just keeps doing her bullshit again & again#cuz when i tell you her mind is gone i mean it is GONE and she starts up all these wild stories to just explain some shit#like something goes missing? the neighbours are hungarian and stole it and left the hoard of junk in her old house#she has more stupid stories to harass and stress us out with but if im gonna share that ill have to write a book about it cuz fuck#and you know its bad when no one else can stand being in any contact with her cuz she starts screaming at people about it#so the only one who even likes her anymore is my sister and thats cuz shes deep in denial about just how insane she is & how abusive she is#so yeah i need some stress relief help that maybe isnt constantly hitting up maryjane cuz i dont do weed often especially since shes here#cuz weed 'burns your brain & makes you crazy like this' when shes the only one whos ever infuriated me to astronimical levels#i know retail therapy helped before she came here but i dont want to keep spending money i dont really have#it would be great tho but shes refusing to give me the 70k she said was mine from the house sale so i can cut her out for good
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i dislike sacrifice characters
#like. idk what else to call them#but characters who are solely there to be horribly tortured and then die#like for example. rapunzel in the original into the woods#she was abused and isolated for years by the witch and then when finally given an escape#she's left alone with two children and eventually just goes crazy from the constant torment#and as soon as she snaps she's crushed to death.#she just gets tortured goes mad and then dies and nobody really cares except her (abusive!!!!) witch mother#and watching other media i see them pop up a lot#a character who just suffers and never gets to heal#or maybe they only suffer and the only moment they find peace is Literally on their fucking deathbed#they're just there to be beat up#watching some story analyses of different games I've wanted to get into#and the amount of characters in this one who are just horribly tortured solely to die at the end#like nobody gets a break in this story except for the actually horrible people#like wow nobody even wants to put in the FICTIONAL work to help traumatized people. i get it. cool. fun. awesome.#this is my fucking fate i guess. just a plot device to make the people around me feel bad for a bit before moving on.
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THEY FUCKING CANCELED TBOYS CLUB LMAOOOOOOOOO
#im gonna fucking. oh my god.#after the TIME ive been having. i had ONE fucking thing i was looking forward to god fucking damn it#pride is literally the one thing that reliably brings me joy i wait for it all year . and i was out of rome during the week with all the#good non corporate inclusive etc events in LONDON with my cousing doing FUCKALL bc she was in a bad mood over arguing with her shitty bf (i#hope jakey dies)#then pride march yesterday was literally so terrible too overcrowded super mismanaged it was my SIXTH rome pride so I know how it usually#goes and it WASNT it . only highlight was hanging out w gio tbh#and the ONE fucking thing i was holding onto. thinking well at least i have this and itll give me that queer joy and communion I literally#hold onto to survive. especially the idea of being in a place where my correct gender is assumed for FUCKING ONCE which NEVER happens not#even in lgbt places. where I could cope with the knowledge i will probably not be able to transition for a couple years at LEAST and if/#when i ever do im in for a terrible hellish situation with my family. and celebrate the now and get hope that maybe its livable maybe i can#keep pulling on this rope until one day im safe and it wont snap in the meantime.#and its fucking GONE. GOD damnit.
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today moodboard
#everything is pissing me off!!!#my roommatr who literally always goes on her phone or doesnt listen and then butts back into the conversation w a 'wait what' and expects us#to explain it to her. every single time#and the way shes like constantly thinking she knows better or more than us even on things i verifiably know more abt#i love her but omfg its so annoying#literally had to retreat to my room so as to not snap and ruin my life#but like. GOD. god. can you please listen to me when i talk for once in your fucking life#and think about the fact that ANYONE else exists and has an opinion#and actually regard us with importance#outside of pretending to be our mom#jesus fucjing christ
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customer service is wild
#I was supposed to go on break at 7:30 and it turned 7:30 while I was halfway through one customer with on more in line with just a few thing#So I figured okay I’ll flip off my light and get through these two then go on break. Well naturally a third lady joins the line#The night is pretty dead so I just go “oh ma’am if you would mind popping down to lane three they can get you all taken care of :D”#And she with peak exasperation she goes “NO there’s a long line at three. There’s a long lane everywhere actually”#I just shrug and go about finishing the person Im ringing up intending to just dip the moment im done and let her go wait in the line#Then I notice one of the lanes down there is open and literally empty so I go “Hey ma’-am lane four is just opening up now if you want to-“#And she interrupts me to go “Yeah I see. I think it’s been open the whole time I think” and walks off#And I…. I’m not sure what to say to that#Did she know the whole time? Did she just not bother to look and noticed while waiting?#I presume she was already frustrated and just snapped at me without really looking so go off I guess? Go off I guess lol#Tonight has been a weird night#Little children have been weird#Adults have been weird
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the only irl friend I have that I feel comfortable actually talking about the things I enjoy with just insulted me for gushing about smth to her over snap last night and now I want to cry
#this is going in the tags bc it’s stupid but it’s making me sad so#the only irl friend I have that I actually felt comfortable sharing my interests with just made fun of me#for gushing to her about smth over snap last night#and I’m at work rn so I can’t even cry bc in a few minutes I’m back out on the floor#but just like. I think I have rsd (especially around my interests and then my intelligence but that’s not pertinent here)#so I’ve never really been super open about what things interest me bc when I get made fun of for it or those things get insulted#It really hurts#the only people I’ve really felt comfortable opening up to are like. Sid obv and then this one friend of mine#bc the two of us found out we shared some interests and started like. telling each other about other things we like#I’d tell her about my silly little tv shows and podcasts and she’d tell me about the movies and books she was into#and I’ve explained to her before how I’ve never really been comfortable enough to talk about that shit and how I appreciated her being kind#and not insulting me like other people have in the past#but today I’m sitting on break and watching the replies she sent me and one of them is just a clip in response to my video from last night#where she just goes ‘girl I literally don’t care’ (and this was not in a joking way like that was her response#and it was in a tone that implied ‘so shut up about it’)#and like I get it! I am often not interested in the things that people tell me about! but I try to be earnest and engaged#and I can understand loving smth and wanting to share it with others! and how it sucks when people are then mean about it!#like when she tells me about a teen drama romance book or sends me instagram reels of cake decorating I try to respond with enthusiasm!#bc while the content may not interest me I like hearing about the things she enjoys and I’m glad she feels open to telling me about stuff!#but now I don’t want to share shit with her anymore bc this has given me a huge spike in anxiety and I feel like shit#idk. it’s stupid but it sucks#vent#ig
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Ah. It had been awhile since my mum slagged off my brother in the car
#gamer txt.#how many times do i need to explain that you dont talk to him when hes upset because it makes him feel worse?#its literally so simple#hes so chatty and polite usually so if hes not talking you shouldnt either bc he is not. in the fucking mood#but then my mum goes on and on about how he snaps at her and is so ''ungrateful'' sometimes but acts completely differently other times#like yeah! cause it was a completely different situation! one day he was happy to talk the other day he wasn't#you talked to him both times anyways so yeah he reacted different#i just dont get why after all this time she still thinks im gonna take her side
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i solemnly swear not to write a fic with a similar premise as one ive done in the past but also i like it when people slow dance.....
#snap chats#im thinking of those geezers again.... forgive me father.....#im making my fanfic in the tags fuck it. no one read these im being cringe but i need to be free#anwyay.... i want yokoyama to show me the tally chart for how many nights arakawa and jo stay late at the office alone#just_the_two_of_us.mp3 right and i hope arakawa has a lil radio playing music#maybe some songs they'd play in the background of his stageplays... maybe even a lil miyamo haruki...#we call that a callback heh.... cause i ref'd her b4..... moving on....#i hope arakawa gets that Boss Sense and knows jo's done with his work for the night and invites him in his office#and i hope when he walks in a new song starts and then arakawa gets A Look right#just a small aside a small laugh like Oh Akane Never Liked This One but then goes on how she was still happy to dance with him to it..#and jo just. 🧍♂️ . like how does he respond to that. just smile and nod boys smile and nod. except jo doesnt smile he just nods#AND OF COURSE THE LEGALLY REQUIRED QUESTION 'do you dance jo' and no ! he does not. never has most likely never will#until that night anyway <3 one 'it's easy' later and they're just squished in that space between arakawa's desk and the couches#and it just nice bro... maybe arakawa talks a bit bout the song/s that are playin and the genre as a whole#jo wont say much.. he's very much a listener and thats ok hes always happy to lend an ear to arakawa#yk.. just regular things to do with your co workers haha...#i hope jo opens up about his music preferences... of which i dont know what they'd be sincerely#the comedy bit of my brain only imagines metal/rock but i truly wouldnt know...#if he likes art then he might like the same kind of music arakawa enjoys.. my fave bit they can be art enjoyers together....#lmao bye arakawa thinkin to himself What A Nice Moment and jo's just trying his best not to literally step on his toes#or just fuck up in some way like my man RELAX this is supposed to be RELAXING#would arakawa notice how tense he is omg. making myself insane the more i type I WILL NOT OPEN A GOOGLE DOC I REFUSE#the visions will just have to torment me... i must make more arasawa asap...#i have another dorky vision in mind that's a sequel to that comic i shat out a couple nights ago... its short but its cute i think..#maybe tomorrow as a warm up or after i do a lil of comm stuff... for now gn.... i love old people....
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#feel like shit.....#told my “partner” i wanted cuddles before bed cause im depressed and just rolled his eyes....#kid came in the room just as im finally gonna get cuddles and when i let out the slightest sigh he fucking *snapped* at me#being all like “we'll cuddle later”#i wake up in the middle of the night to kid crying and him literally pushing her to my side of the bed and when i told him to stop he goes#“what stop her from climbing half way up me?” when she literally wasnt so of course i have to get her back to sleep#cause why would i be allowed to sleep when hes got to work in the morning right?#and then when he gets up to go to work hes gonna be loud getting ready cause he doesnt know how to do things quietly#and then im gonna be up at 7am after having nightmares and fighting with him and then have to entertaine a 2 ½ year old literally all day#if im lucky i MAY get a half hour nap if she doesnt wake up right as i lay down to rest#OH also when i asked him to stop pushing our kid away and got up and got her paci and got her back to sleep he kept staring at me#like turned away but looking over his shoulder just staring at me like i was in the fucking wrong#so now im sitting in the bathroom feeling like theres something wrong with me#like theres something fucked up with me#yet at the same time i feel so used and betrayed and i just......#i dont know what to do anymore and im so fucking tired#so so fucking tired.....#echo has a breakdown on main
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