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soccialcreature · 4 years

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final verdict (obvi all of the eps were fantastic but my rankings are):

phantom apprentice > old friends not forgotten > shattered > victory and death

explanation and spoilers under the cut

victory and death was just SO sad i dont think ill ever b able to rewatch it. that doesnt make it worse, obviously, but i just caaaaaant like physically cant deal. its too sad. im glad it was sad! i love when media makes me cry. the episode ended and i just fuckin broke down and sobbed for like half an hour. like.... dave cudve given us some happy? or a sliver of hope. maybe if we didnt KNOW that rex and ahsoka were going to survive then the fact that they survived would have been hopeful but since we already KNEW.... idk. just the fact that her WHOLE battalion died is too sad. i guess like. darth maul got a happy ending. even in revenge of the sith it was like “anakins kids are a new hope!” but here we got NONE of that. it kind of had to be like that i guess. anakin being vader was set in stone since 1980. but like... cmon dave. u cudve changed it. we wudntve been mad. it was also just really short, and im sure that wont be an issue when i watch this arc all together as a movie, but it was just SUPER short. maybe this one will move up in my list after i’ve had some time to process it all.

shattered was also really good. my my new favorite thing ever is ahsoka and maul’s interaction bcuz that was comedy GOLD. i liked that at least ahsoka knew WHY the clones turned on her, which is guess makes it a little happier bcuz the rest of the jedi like obi-wan still have no idea what happened. ugh it was still a lot tho. liked her last convo with bo and with the jedi council. and ahsoka and maul’s vision of anakin was rly cool. i think my biggest issue (which is not even that huge of an issue) with these last 2 eps is that if felt pretty claustrophobic and monotonous bcuz it was mostly set on this one ship.

old friends not forgotten was basically perfect. i think anakin and ahsokas reuinion was done really well, though i still wished they had hugged. :(. the opening with anakin and obi-wan when i first watched the episode didn’t really resonate with me but now, knowing that that’s essentially ALL we get of them in this whole arc, im really really that thats there and i like it a whole lot more now. ugh i miss them. its so sad. ahsokas argument with obi-wan was also really good. i like how you can take either side because theyre both sort of right and sort of wrong. the action sequence with ahsoka landing on mandalore is, i still think so, the BEST action sequence in all of star wars. im so proud of my girl. perfect way to start the last arc of the show and remind us of everything we are about to lose. it ties into revenge of the sith really well, i think even better than these other ones. the fact that we KNOW what’s going to happen to these characters is what makes this episode, especially because that knowledge is kind of a hindrance to the other episodes in this arc.

phantom apprentice is literally a perfect episode. there is so much to love about this. it is actually PEAK star wars. like this is the best its gonna get. why cudnt the sequels be this good? also... none of it was set on a ship which was nice. theres really nothing i dislike about this episode so ill just talk about everything that was great about it. the set pieces were beautiful, highlighted by the gorgeous animation, the fight choreography was amazing and it really felt like it was 2 real people (which is was) who KNEW what they were doing and were actually trying to kill each other, again, every interaction with ahsoka and maul was perfect, they really made his character SO interesting by making him like... right? about everything. like he actually wanted to save the galaxy, thats really interesting. ahsoka SHOULD have joined him but thats the whole point. she has too much faith in anakin. on that note, i loved how much they talked about anakin. I loved ahsoka’s conversation with obi-wan this one also is really good at tying in with revenge of the sith, and showing how these stories happen simultaneously. the other good thing about this is that we DONT know what happens at all. in the other episodes we at least have an IDEA of whats going to happen, but ahsoka and mauls story here is completely new. this is all new information. there was even a bit of politics in there with bo and ahsoka about the siege. but ya overall id say maul is what makes this episode so incredible. he’s just great in this one. im so glad this episode exists because now i can definitively say that i have a favorite clone wars episode.

conclusion: i just wish i couldve gotten into a show that has a happy ending. why does the ONE series that im so in love with have the saddest ending possible??? i really hate to think about this but.... this series might have just been better with a happy ending. it may have been more fun to see our faves overcome all of these obstacles, even if it was hard. obvi the jedi order would have to go through some reforms, but if the series had ended with at least anakin, ahsoka, padme, obi-wan, rex, and the clones being TOGETHER, that may have actually been better than a tragic ending. i think anakin and ahsoka’s relationship is really the heart of this series, and what reeeaaally hits is them both thinking the other is dead at the end of this series, only to meet later as enemies. it’s just so sad. dave, what do you have to say for yourself?

#star wars #the clone wars #tcw finale

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fairyscribbles · 6 years

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Boiling Bite. (Chanyeol, Wolf!au) 2/2

Hello guys! A few little changes!

I will try to again re-update a lot of the lists that I have here, because not only they were not up to date, they are a bit glitched, as I saw when uploading that Baekhyun story!

I also thought of putting up my ko-fi link again. I stopped doing it for a while because I was pretty content, but as I started working, my financial needs rose up as well, due to travel, food etc etc. I am also really shooting to go to the JLPTs again and obtain the highest level (N1). For that, I need the books for it. I already bought the grammar book, so I need the vocab, kanji and reading so I can prepare and hopefully go try out the summer dates of the test!

It’s also a bit hard to update for me now not only because of school but also because of the house renovation. My desk is really cluttered from all the things I’ve had on shelves and my laptop has been connected to the TV for about three weeks now and has been exclusively used for Netflix ^^’ I did go back to writing into notebooks though, and I’m biting through a few of the requests. Who knows, maybe once I’m done, I will open them again!

Well now, after this super long essay, let’s enjoy the second part of the Kris story I have posted a while back!

If you need to refresh your memory, here is the first part! If you like what you read, you can support me on ko-fi!

♥

Everything burned and everything hurt. You didn’t remember when was the last time you were conscious for more than five minutes. The pain always knocked you out before you could go insane with it.

You could clearly remember that night... the dark alleyway... Kris’ mate crying into her phone, begging Kris to come and save you.

The two vampires standing, ready to pounce.

You stepping between the vampires and Kris’ mate.

And then the bite.

It was as if somebody suddenly poured acid into your veins and the blood carried it all over your body. It felt horrible. You wanted to die as you felt the ice cold fangs digging into you, sucking the life out of you.

It might’ve been gone in a few seconds, but it felt like hours to you.

They came and saved you. But it was too late, as you crumbled to the ground and you screamed in pain.

You felt someone, Chanyeol probably, picking you up and cradling you to him, but it didn’t do anything with the horrible pain that coursed through your body.

That’s when you blacked out the first time.

The first time you came to was when you felt someone settle down next to you.

“Ch-Chan…” your voice was too raspy for you to continue, a coughing fit interrupting your question.

“It’s me, ___.” Answered the voice that did not belong to your mate. Kyungsoo wiped at your forehead, the wet cloth gathering the sweat that trickled down your face.

“What…what…happene-“

“You were bitten. It’s the werewolf genes and vampire saliva that’s making you hurt.” You whimpered as the washcloth trailed down your face onto your neck, to the bite mark. A strangled scream ripped through your throat when the cloth dabbed at the wound and you immediately cowered from the pack’s healer. You heard him apologize, but everything was pronounced so slow and the way your eyelids seemed to drop, you knew you were out of it once again.

“Alright, ___. We need to get some of the bad blood out. This is going to hurt a lot, so we’re going to do it by bits, alright?”

You slowly grew accustomed to the pain, you were beginning to understand how it worked, how it always came in waves at you. It could’ve been two days since Kyungsoo’s visit, but it could’ve been two weeks as well.

You nodded shakily, tilting your head to the side and revealing your neck to him. Kyungsoo sighed, placing everything he was holding onto the nightstand before looming over you, his lips on your neck.

“Try to hold on as long as possible…” he mumbled quietly, his breath ghosting over your skin, before his lips closed over the wound. The first suck had you arching against him in a scream, your fists bunching in his shirt. You screeched, pleading for him to stop, trashing from side to side. You could feel the lift slipping from you from every suck by Kyungsoo’s lips. It ended just a few seconds after, yet it felt like eternity.

Kyungsoo spit out the blood he held in his mouth, its color a washed out red and more yellow than anything else.

“You did great, ___.” Kyungsoo gently stroked your cheek, trying to somehow calm you down.

“Chan…” you coughed heavily after that.

“What was it, ___?”

“Where…is…Ch-Chan…Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo fell silent for quite a while after that. Every passing second was like a dagger to your heart.

“He’s out hunting. He left three days ago, he didn’t come back yet.” Kyungsoo told you and yet you somehow knew it was a lie. You swallowed the tears that crept up on you and nodded to the tense Kyungsoo.

“You should try to get some sleep, ___-ah. We’ll try to get out more tomorrow.” His voice was gentle as if he was talking to a child. You nodded again, the grip of consciousness already slipping past your hands.

The last thing you thought of was Chanyeol’s voice, desperately calling your name.

Chanyeol sighed as he walked through the door. His body was full of kinks and soreness that wouldn’t be able to go away even after extended rest. As if he could do that, anyway.

For the past few days, he hadn’t thought about anything else, but revenge. He spent the past three days hunting down a vampire coven, making sure he would get every and single one of those suckers.

He kicked off his muddy boots and entered the house, his jacket a bloody pool on the floor. As he passed the mirror, he noticed the deep bags under his eyes and hallowed face.

He was only a ghost of what he used to be. He felt it, in his skin, his bones, in his very form, something changed. And he didn’t know how he would bring it back.

They switched every day. At first, only Kyungsoo would come, but later on, Suho replaced the healer, calling in Jongin to hold you down while sucking out the poison. The day after, the two switched and after that, Minseok and Luhan took their turns in trying to make you feel better.

You had already filled a whole glass with the yellowish substance and your mind was free from the sticky mist that clouded your senses.

It had its downfall, as it made the pain of healing clearer and the realization that since the night you’ve been bitten, Chanyeol hasn’t seen you once. Not a single time you felt his presence beside you and that made you tear up.

You probably disgusted him. You were bitten. And broken. Who in the right state of mind would want a broken mate? You thought as Kyungsoo gave your neck one hard last suck.

“Kyungsoo…” you choked out, stuttering over the lump in your throat.

“Yes? What is it?” he answered after cleaning his mouth, the poison still rocking slightly in the cup.

“K-Kill me.” You sobbed, the tears sneaking up on you. You could almost feel Kyungsoo freeze.

“What?” he wanted to you repeat as he slipped his hands around yours. You gripped him desperately.

“Please, just…let me have it over with. Just kill me and let that be…it.”

“Are you crazy? What about Chanyeol?” his voice sounded as if he still didn’t believe what you were saying. You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked at the ceiling, illuminated by moonlight.

“He…he doesn’t care about me anymore.” You had to wait a moment after saying that to calm yourself down. It was far too painful.

“I don’t blame him, though.” You added with a smile, even through the tears.

“Who would want a mate that is tainted by the enemy?” Kyungsoo squeezed your hand, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb.

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve heard, ___. And I’m in a pack with Jongin, which means I’m listening to stupidities on a daily basis.” You could hear the smile in his voice and you couldn’t help but to chuckle shortly.

“Chanyeol wants you all the time. NO matter how you act, look or feel.”

“Then why isn’t he here?” Kyungsoo was quiet for a long time, weighing out his options. IN the end, he sighed, shaking his head.

“I would like to know that, too.” He rubbed your hand some more. It wasn’t the same thing as being comforted by your mate, but it came close.

“Just go to sleep, ___. You did good today.” You squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand one last time, before slowly rolling on your side. You instinctively awaited Chanyeol’s arms wrapping around you and pull you to him, but that never came.

Before Chanyeol could sigh and slip off his jacket, he was shoved back by a furious looking Kyungsoo.

“You need to start taking care of your mate.” He growled in a low tone, his eyes flickering gold.

“I am.” Chanyeol mumbled under his breath, trying to keep his cool.

“I’m avenging her. Killing every motherfucker I can get my eyes on.”

“She doesn’t need that. She needs you. But you’ve been too much of a pussy to face her.”

“What?” Chanyeol hissed, his beast stirring. Kyungsoo’s face showed he was being serious about what he said.

“I said, you’re too much of a pussy to look at her. You need to start taking care of her.”

“Do you even know how it fucking feels like? Being in my place?” Chanyeol asked, his tone menacingly passive as he came closer to Kyungsoo.

“Do you know the fucking feeling, when the person you love the most, the person you would die for, gets hurt? Like that? In front of your own fucking eyes?!” Chanyeol’s growl gradually turned into roaring.

“Do you even know how I feel when I walk around the room and I hear her screaming? Because I was unable to help her? Do you know the feeling?”

“And do you fucking know what you’re doing to her now? Did you even know that she asked me to kill her yesterday?” Kyungsoo’s words were like a thousand daggers, stabbing into his heart. As he heard about your wish to die, his knees buckled.

“W-What?” Kyungsoo smiled grimly as Chanyeol’s shock-ridden state.

“She thinks you don’t want her anymore. She told me that you probably think of her as disgusting since she was bitten by a vampire.” Chanyeol sighed deeply, sliding down the wall he was leaning against.

“Fucking hell…” he muttered, running his fingers through his hair. Kyungsoo knelt down next to him, laying his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“Look, I’m not going to try to convince you that it wasn’t your fault. You wouldn’t listen to me anyways. But killing vampires won’t help her. She needs you close. She needs to know that she’s still wanted.” Chanyeol sighed, nodding. He was too weak to say anything else.

“The sucking of the poison is very painful for her. She needs her mate. If you would do it, the poison will be gone in a few days.” When Chanyeol still didn’t answer, Kyungsoo patted his back once more and he stood to leave.

“Kyungsoo…”

“Hmm?” he turned around to look at Chanyeol. Only then he noticed how the biting affected him. He looked like hell- there were big bags under his eyes, his clothing hung on his disappearing frame and his shoulders seemed slumped with eternal luggage.

“Thank you. For everything.” Kyungsoo smiled softly.

“We’re brothers, Chanyeol. I would do anything for you.” At this Chanyeol smiled slightly.

“Even so. Thank you so much.”

You stirred when your bed dipped with another weight settling on it. Your fever had gone up again, so you didn’t recognize what was happening until the unknown person cupped the back of your neck and tilted your head to the side. Your blood started running faster as you realized what’s happening.

“No, Kyungsoo…” you whimpered quietly, your fists balling into his shirt. The body seemed different from Kyungsoo’s though.

“Please, no more…” you tried to cover the wound by tilting your head, but he nudged it aside with his nose. As you tried to fight back, more weight settled over you.

“Calm down, ___-ah…” a low voice rumbled above you and you suddenly knew who it was.

“Chanyeol?” he answered you with a hum, as he lightly licked your neck. Your breath hitched and you wound your hands around his torso, bringing him close. Chanyeol swiped his tongue over the wound once more before he closed his lips around it, giving it an experimental suck. He shuddered when the bad blood entered his mouth, but it didn’t stop him from sucking harder. It was much different, the cleansing with your mate. It was almost pleasurable for the first seconds and you pushed him down onto you some more, panting quietly. Chanyeol paused a while to spit out the venom in his mouth before diving in for more. This time, it was more uncomfortable, and you squirmed against him, your hands bunching in his shirt and tugging on it, to pull him away. He stayed relentless though, as he sucked harder. The first hard suck was painful.

“Chanyeol…” you whimpered, squirming some more. Once again, he leaned away to spit out.

“One more time, baby.” He assured you, closing his mouth around the wound again.

It was painful the last time, just as it was with the others. You arched your back, trying to get him from you, you tried swinging your head from side to side, but Chanyeol’s hold on you was tight, not letting go until you actually screamed out.

He quickly spat out the remaining poison and had you in his arms in seconds, holding you against his chest securely.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I’m sorry…” he kept repeating in your hair, stroking it comfortingly.

It took a while for you to calm down and to realize that he was actually with you. After the week of separation, it seemed unnatural.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore…” you mumbled under your breath, holding onto him tightly. He reciprocated the grip, kissing the crown of your head.

“Are you kidding me? You’re my mate. I warned you about this before you signed your soul- it’s a job for life.” You giggled tiredly- the cleansing always had a dizzying effect on you- maybe because you lost a lot of blood.

“Will you stay?” you asked, looking up at him. You didn’t let him have much of a choice. There was a small chance he would be able to get out of the grip you had on him, anyways.

“Forever.” He said, kissing your lips.

#chanyeol #chanyeol story #chanyeol scenario #chanyeol exo #exo chanyeol #exo story #exo scenario #werewolf #werewolf au #werewolf story #werewolf scenario #exo werewolf #story

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jojotier · 6 years

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lil masterpost of some of my favorite golden trio interactions that ive written vfkjv

seriously if you’re a fic writer and you haven’t tried to write these three interacting, I suggest you try. at least once. Seriously, writing them always leaves a smile on my face...

Some more that were so long that I decided to like, at least put it under the cut to save everyone the space and breathing room:

“He’s a cute guy- always wondered what it’d have been like to meet him, you know, take him out somewhere fancy…” Shiraishi wiggled his eyebrows and Asirpa nigh instantaneously appeared to smack him over his bald head with a wooden spoon. “Hey-! What’d I say?!”

“Don’t be weird, Shiraishi!” Asirpa huffed, wagging the spoon in her hand. “Or else we’re going to have to crack your egg head over a pot and have you for breakfast!”

Shiraishi whined, “Mannnn why are you two always bullying me?! I’m the oldest! If anyone should be bullying anyone, it should be me bullying someone!!”

“But you won’t! Because you know what’s good for you,” Sugimoto teased, pouring himself and Shiraishi a cup of coffee.

Asirpa said from her place beside Shiraishi, “Pour me a cup too! Black, please.”

Sugimoto felt a sudden, terrified shiver run down his spine. “... Are you sure about that, Asirpa? That’s… this is a really bitter brand, so-”

“Black,” Asirpa repeated, slowly raising her spoon. She tapped it on her other hand, eyes blazing. Sugimoto felt sweat drip down the back of his neck. “What is it, Sugimoto? Do you not think I can handle it, Sugimoto? Do you think I’m too much of a child? Sugimoto? Well? Are you saying little Asirpa is too much of a baby to handle coffee in its natural state? Sugimoto, are you saying-”

“Alright, alright! I’m pouring you some now…” Sugimoto said, pouring her some of the coffee while trying to bite back a laugh.

Shiraishi’s eyes widened in vague awe. “Man… black? I thought you’ve never had coffee before,”

“That’s because I never have.” Asirpa nodded, moving back to the little kitchenette to take the cup from Sugimoto. “ Huci never bought it much, and my aca used to say that it was too weak to even bother with. Watching you two load it down with sugar and cream, and knowing Sugimoto has a weak tongue-”

“Hey-!” Sugimoto said, slightly offended.

“- I’ve decided that it can’t be bitter at all. You’re both just weak.” Asirpa declared, before taking a giant, ill-advised gulp of her coffee. Shiraishi started to say something, but it caught in his throat, leaving him to just make a weird noise like a dying whale. Asirpa stood stock still for a second, black coffee dripping a little onto the corner of her mouth, as she took a shaky swallow. She looked up at Sugimoto, tears in her slightly squinted eyes as she tried to give a smile that didn’t look like she was in immense pain. “S. See. Not. Bitter at all,”

Sugimoto bust out laughing, trying to rein it in a bit because maybe it was a bit of an asshole thing, to laugh at a kid, but even still… it was pretty hilarious. “Really! Really now! I see that face you’re making- you think its as bitter as we do!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!” Shiraishi joined in, laughing a bit himself.

“Do not- look,” Then Asirpa, face flushing, tried to drink the rest in a few fell gulps. A little bit of the hot, bitter drink dribbled down her chin and onto her shirt as she finished, looking like she was regretting pretty much all of her life choices. Asirpa made a face and squinted, sticking out her tongue. “Ugh… I think I burned my tongue….”

“... So it’s an ugly thing that’s a pile of junk, is what you’re saying,” Shiraishi snickered a bit. “So antiquated that not even JAXA wants to knock this thing into the gravity and get it down out of this airspace!”

Asirpa’s cheeks puffed out slightly in disdain. “... I’m not giving that a response. This is still neat!!! You just have no taste.”

“Oh no, yeah, it’s pretty neat,” Shiraishi ceded, glancing back out at the station. He snickered under his breath some more. “Lots of historical significance, probably… looks like an old-timey soup can.”

Sugimoto snorted at that, a wide grin splitting over his face. “Come on, that’s mean. It looks like a tin bucket from one of those cowboy movies, at least- the ones that hold all the bullets.”

“Those buckets aren’t historically accurate- bullets weren’t really that big…” Asirpa corrected, tapping at her watch’s interface. Then, her head dipped down a bit, what stray hairs that remained free from her braid falling in her face as she bit her lip, looking absolutely goofy. “... Looks kind of like a big asinru, though…”

“Hey, look!!! Sugimoto look!!” Shiraishi leaned forward, hands gripping on the railing and feet braced against it as his face lit up. “She talks so big but she thinks that ship looks funny too!”

“It’s your fault!” Asirpa uselessly tossed one of the plastic maps at Shiraishi. It went like five centimeters, and then uselessly fwumped onto the ground with a weird sound, not unlike the sound one got when shaking out a laminated paper. Asirpa chose to ignore that. “You have me thinking of tin can shaped things-!!” Shiraishi started laughing, chest shaking a bit as his grip tightened on the railing.

Sugimoto snickered a bit, eyes crinkling at the corners, “Last I checked, only you can have yourself thinking things.”

Asirpa tried to toss a map at Sugimoto, throwing it like a frisbee to see if that would get any lift. No dice. It went an even closer distance and fluttered uselessly down, sliding away from Sugimoto entirely. Shiraishi guffawed, and before Asirpa could open her mouth, there was a solid thunk. Shiraishi yelped as he hit the ground, still slightly red-faced from laughing. He’d fallen off. Sugimoto gave a hearty laugh at that.

“See,” Asirpa said, looking at Shiraishi, “this is what you get. Karma.”

Shiraishi whined, rolling over onto his back with a pout. “Let’s just get this trespassing over with…” Both Sugimoto and Asirpa giggled a bit together.

“Well, we figured since it was New Years, it’d be nice to drop by-” Sugimoto started to say before being slightly tilted off balance, shoved vaguely to the side. A second face appeared, slightly lower than Sugimoto’s face and flushed lightly. The smell of sake on this stranger’s breath nearly made Tsukishima recoil, knuckles turning white as his free hand clenched into a fist.

“Heyyyyy, Tsukihime-san!” The bald stranger grinned, head seeming to bob from side to side. “It’s so good t’ see you- great to meetcha, I’m Shiraishi Yoshitake-”

“Where’s the dog.” came a third voice, and soon a third face, belonging to a girl much shorter and younger than the two above her, peered into the gap.

“Asirpa, please,” Sugimoto laughed a little, trying to hide the smile behind his hand, “don’t make it look like that’s the only reason-!”

“But you said yourself that you wanted to pet the dog, Sugimoto,” Asirpa’s eyebrows rose as she tipped her head back, staring at the scarred man in the door.

“Well-!” Sugimoto’s face flushed a bit as well, giving a bit of a sheepish look. “I also wanted to say hi to the owner, of the dog.”

Tsukishima glanced over the three of them. It was unlikely that Sugimoto had ill intent, bringing both a drunk and a pre-teen along with him. He kept his pocket knife in his pocket and opened the door just a bit wider, looking to his impromptu guests and remembering Nugget in the living room, whining underneath the table. “Sorry. My dog doesn’t like being around a lot of people- he’s easily spooked.”

“The dog or you?” Shiraishi snickered a bit, seemingly trying to peer over Tsukishima’s shoulder into the apartment. Tsukishima reconsidered not thinking about the merits of “accidental” greeting stabs in the future. Except there wouldn’t be a future, because Tsukishima didn’t want to deal with visitors. “Noah Fence, dude, but you’re like- this super hermit! I don’t think anyone’seen you outside this apartment... Tha’s what I heard from other people-”

The girl, Asirpa, turned around and kicked Shiraishi in the shins. Sugimoto followed suit, smacking Shiraishi upside the head while glaring at him. Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed as he went to close the door anyway. “Good night, Sugimoto. Asirpa.”

“Wait! Wait,” Sugimoto shoved his hand in the door hastily, trying to fold in on himself so he could hold up a package wrapped in paper the same shade of blue and white that the headband that Asirpa wore was. Of course, the designs were much different, looking more like silver leaves and boars. That’s right- it was the year of the boar soon, wasn’t it?

“We made too much mochi and yokan,” Asirpa explained, peering up at Tsukishima.

“Awww, but Asirpa~” Sugimoto gave a mock pitiful whine, pushing his lower lip out like a child. “How am I gonna give miso to Huci to go with the feast?”

“We don’t need any of your poop near our shit,” Asirpa said, turning up her nose. At that, Shiraishi lost it and rolled onto his side, chortling the entire while.

Sugimoto gave a delicate gasp. “Asirpa, language! Who taught you to say that? Did Shiraishi here rub off on you,”

“I taught myself to say it,” Asirpa stuck out her tongue, but she knew no one was being serious about it. Sugimoto wasn’t the type of person to become faint just because someone younger than him said something mildly uncouth, as she’d done many times before. Sugimoto chuckled himself, a wider grin breaking out over his face.

Soon, the laughter died down again, and Sugimoto rested his cheek harder against his hand. It wasn’t nearly as cold and oppressive as before- but there was still an odd undertone, to the quiet that surrounded them. Something left unsaid.

“Man.” Sugimoto sighed, looking wistfully at the fire, “I wish I still had my miso. We could’ve used it with dinner earlier.”

It was quiet for a few seconds more before Asirpa suddenly remembered- in her coat… She didn’t remember if she’d used the last of it before, in the meal they had outside this place, but she still reached into an innermost pocket and pulled out the small metal tin. Shuffling around to Sugimoto, she presented it to him and opened the lid, showing just the smallest trace of brown miso in a corner.

Sugimoto’s eyes widened, a happy smile coming onto his face. “Oh man-! You did keep it! I would’ve thought for sure you were gonna use it as anosoma box or something, for anything you find-”

“Oh come on, that’s so gross!” Asirpa felt her eyes burn at the mere thought of it. Or maybe they burned because she was squinting so hard it looked as if her eyes had receded back into her face flesh. Sugimoto snorted, trying to keep his giggles in as Asirpa silently worked through how to even respond to that. After a moment, her face loosened back into a more contemplative expression.

“... Besides. You liked it so much that you would try to make my poor old Huci try it- so we had to keep it for when you came back.”

#golden kamuy #asirpa #sugimoto saichi #shiraishi yoshitake #gk #crying in the club i just!!! love them!!!!!!

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crimsonsalutations · 6 years

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What don't you like about fandom hanzo? :o just asking because I'm really picky about it myself personally

oh anon youve asked the Wrong question bc i have A Lot of thoughts on my boy hanzo

BUT before i say anything i just want 2 say that Despite the fact that i bitch a lot abt characterization on this blog, i dont intend hate or disrespect @ anyone who portrays characters in the way i bitch about. fandom is about making yourself happy & if a characterization makes you happy then you should pursue it despite what my dumb bitch ass has to say about it. ok.

ive mentioned this a few times before but i

A. love redemption arcs and

B. dont like... victimization. whether its canon or not-- like a character whose whole thing revolves around them being a victim of everything in their life? eh. boring. like widowmaker: she was a happy ballerina... she got brainwashed... it’s like... now what. she was happy, now she’s a victim, there’s nothing cool in there to explore.

i dislike characterizations of hanzo where people try to explain away the fratricide with ‘he was abused by sojiro’ or ‘he was brainwashed by the clan of elders’ partially because of what i just said and partially because it just seems unlikely in canon bc

1.chu... a while ago, said genji was part of overwatch when he was human, which we took as a slip-up but i dont think(?) that he ever took that back.

2.genji says something in retribution like ‘no matter what i do... i cannot escape my fate’ when mccree says they’ve become assassins, implying he’s tried to escape becoming an assassin.

3. overwatch was conveniently close enough to genji & the shimadas that they could swoop in and save him before he actually died

4. genji wasnt murdered. he was brutalized. he has scars up and down his arms, he’s got burn scars on his face, and when hanzo was done with him he couldnt walk anymore. plus there’s a post somewhere on here that theorizes due to the nature of blackwatch genji’s prosthesis + the blood spatter in hanamura, it seems that hanzo attacked him from behind

hanzo’s bio says

Upon the death of his father, the clan elders instructed Hanzo to straighten out his wayward younger brother so that he, too, might help rule the Shimada empire. When his brother refused, Hanzo was forced to kill him. This act broke Hanzo's heart and drove him to reject blah blah

but genji’s death doesnt seem like some kind of duty driven, single-manly-tear-slipping-down-the-cheek, hold-him-in-your-arms-as-he-goes death. he was brutalized. hanzo was angry.

while hanzo’s bio talks about hanzo’s broken heart, genji’s bio says this

Hanzo demanded that Genji take a more active role in their late father's empire. Genji refused, enraging Hanzo. The tension between the brothers built to a violent confrontation that left Genji on the verge of dying.

and i mean ok. im not here to judge hanzo or condemn him (personally i think ppl who try to assert their moral superiority over fictional characters are.. a little pathetic) & there’s a lot that goes into this, pressure from the elders, japanese culture, unhealthy environments. but hanzo had a choice.

all this stuff seems to imply to me that genji betrayed the shimadas for overwatch. maybe he caught on that he was in danger without sojiro around to protect him. maybe he just wanted out. i dont know. does it matter?

but hanzo couldve spared him. couldve cast him out. couldve done a bunch of things, but he didnt.

the fact is. that hanzo killed his brother. (brutalized his brother).

and thats why i find him interesting. how do you deal with that?

like, okay. you’re standing there, and you’ve got your little brother’s blood on your hands. and you’re looking down at him (at his corpse) and the adrenaline high is leaving and it’s beginning to sink in that you’ve murdered your little brother. in cold blood. what do you do? what’s next?

i mean, you punch someone in the face and you feel bad about it, you go ‘oh shit im so sorry’ and you grab them an ice pack. but genji’s dead. there’s no one to apologize to. there’s no way to fix it. you’ve done a terrible thing. an evil thing. an abusive, awful, terrible thing. and you cant take it back. and there’s no one or nothing to blame it on: you did it and there’s nothing you can do to change that.

what’s next? where do you go from there?

that’s what i find interesting about hanzo. because thats the thing about overwatch. anyone can be a hero. even if youve killed your brother. even if you’re the worst person on the planet. all you have to do is try.

and. in this context it makes more sense that hanzo rejects genji at first. the cycle he mustve been going down those ten years.

i killed my brother --> im a terrible person because ive killed my brother --> i killed my brother because im a terrible person

his whole concept of himself has devolved into this brother-killer who can never redeem himself, and then genji pops up one day like ‘hey whats up’ and this isnt just forcing hanzo to re-evaluate his relationship with genji, but also himself. it’s a bit self-centered, yeah, but he rejects genji in part because He Is A Brother Killer, that’s just how he sees himself. genji shows up and hanzo’s like, ‘you cant be alive because im a filthy bastard that killed my brother’

its obvious he still regrets it though. he says it was duty (i cant even get into that w/o more context abt what he means by ‘duty’ + the whole situation beyond vague descriptions in bios) and he also stopped using a sword after that. which is interesting either way. was that out of respect? did he just feel sick using one? idk.

the whole idea of blaming what he did on abuse or brainwashing is just so meh :/ to me because i just dont like those kind of stories. partially because a lot of the time they just feel like the author is trying to garner sympathy for an unlikable character, and partially because oftentimes abuse is passed off as a motivation when it’s not.

lots of people are abused. there is no one reaction or outcome of abuse. someone lashes out at their abuser and kills them, that’s because they were angry or scared, not because they were abused. the anger was created bc of the abuse but the anger is what led them to act, not the abuse.

hearing about the abuse just makes me sad, and to be completely honest it doesnt make me sympathize with a character any more or less. it’s just like adding really bland cheese to a sandwich. i can tell the cheese is there, but i cant taste it and it doesnt really affect the sandwich. all it does is give me more to chew.

hanzo didnt kill genji because he was abused or brainwashed, or else all abused/brainwashed children would kill their siblings. hanzo killed genji because he was angry (maybe that anger as born of abuse. frankly i dont think it matters much). what i want to see less of with hanzo is ‘fucked up bastard kills his brother’ and less of ‘poor abused baby accidentally tripped and stabbed genji with his sword :(’ and more ‘confused man tries to figure out how to live with himself after realizing he is kind of an awful person’

plus i feel like hanzo is a very specific balance between a broken man and a complete jackass and no one seems to combine those 2 traits in a way that satisfies me

#i like hanzo #i wouldnt go near him if he were a real person but i like him #i think hes interesting #but so many ppl take all of the stuff about him that i find cool #and toss it away in exchange for excuses over what he did #i mean fact of the matter is he's a bad person #im not here to judge him.#but he is.#but where does he *go* with that realization?#what does he *do* with it?#sorry for any typos btw haha #Anonymous

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ihateeveryoneincludingmyself · 4 years

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i don’t think anyone I know irl has my tumblr so I’m just gonna vent here.

so in May I met this girl on tinder, and we hit it off super fast and we talked nonstop it was honestly pretty overwhelming because I didn’t remember what it was like to have someone into me. she was trying to move very quickly and I’m very emotionally unavailable so I didn’t want to get into a relationship with her.

we remained friends. super good friends. she even considered me her best friend which I didn’t even know she felt that strongly until we started to fight. thought I was just some dude she talked to when she wasn’t hanging out with her irl friends.

our first fight happened when I realized how deeply she’s into the awful college student drinking partying culture. to be clear because this is something she doesn’t fucking understand, I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING! I DRINK, EVERYBODY I KNOW DRINKS!! but every week sometimes multiple times a week she would drunk text me random stupid shit like she couldn’t even spell properly and like she doesn’t remember shit in the morning you know like, actually fucking drunk. i can’t stand how people think that’s normal or okay. if you can’t control your drinking then don’t drink. if you can control, then have a couple drinks! enjoy yourself! BUT THERES A POINT WHERE YOU ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF. okay so here’s why I’m extra sensitive about this topic. my parents were alcoholics. also did heroin n shit but yeah I wasn’t allowed to live with them. and every time I see someone fucking wasted, it reminds me of them. i remember my grandpa taking me to restaurants to visit my parents and by the time we finished eating they were drunk. couldn’t even talk to them as a little kid. I lost my childhood due to alcoholism. i know this girl is just a college student partying blah blah blah but it can lead to worse and like.... seriously who the fuck wants to talk to someone who can’t even produce sentences? when you’re that intoxicated it’s simply not healthy even if I didn’t have trauma related to alcohol I would probably still be concerned. anyways, I progressively got more angry with her. i said a lot of things I shouldn’t have . i tore her apart in response to my anger. i hate myself for the way I treated her, but GUESS WHAT? she still doesn’t listen to me. still regularly getting wasted and it fucjing pisses me off because she goes around telling people that I don’t let her DRINK. LIKE SHES MISSING THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!! IM GOING TO COPY AND PASTE EXACTLY WHAT I SAID BEFORE I GOT INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIS: I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING! I DRINK, EVERYBODY I KNOW DRINKS!! but every week sometimes multiple times a week she would drunk text me random stupid shit like she couldn’t even spell properly and like she doesn’t remember shit in the morning you know like, actually fucking drunk. i can’t stand how people think that’s normal or okay. if you can’t control your drinking then don’t drink. if you can control, then have a couple drinks! enjoy yourself! BUT THERES A POINT WHERE YOU ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF.

anyways, now as I said she still fucking gets wasted all the time,BUT SHE DOESNT TALK TO ME. but she posts about it on her Instagram story (which I’m blocked from seeing but.... I have my ways🤷🏻), she talks to other people JUST NOT ME. THAT WASNT MY FUCKING INTENTION WITH MY SERIES OF INTERVENTIONS. I WANTED HER TO BECOME MORE RESPONSIBLE WITH ALCOHOL? AND THEN SHE CAN ENJOY A DRINK AND STILL TALK LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING. GOD IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY TO KNOW THAT SHES STILL BEING WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A GLORIFIED ALCOHOLIC, BUT SHE JUST DOESNT DRUNK TEXT ME ANYMORE.

ooh then another fight.... I was venting to an NOW EX FRIEND FUCK THAT BITCH SHE BOILS MY BLOOD JUST THINKING ABOUT HER of mine ..... AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER GOD I FUCKING HATE HER FOR WHAT SHE DID.... DECIDED TO SNITCH ON ME AND MESSAGE THE GIRL AND TELL HER THAT I WAS VENTING. AND SHE MISINTERPRETED AS ME “TALKING SHIT” WHEN I NEVER EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HER IN A NEGATIVE LIGHT. SOME PPL SAID “SHES TOXIC” I ALWAYS FUCKING DEFENDED HER BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WE WERE FIGHTING I STILL ADORED HER. so yeah that put even more tension on our friendship. AND I DROPPED THE SNITCH GIRL RIGHT AWAY, I WILL NEVER FUCKING FORGIVE HER BECAUSE MY FRIENDSHIP WITH THE GIRL COULDVE BEEN SAVED IF IT WASNT FOR HER. FUCK HER. I FUCKING HATE HER SO MUCH AND NOW THEYRE FRIENDS AND COMMENT ON EACHOTHERS POSTS AND IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH.

anyways, like I mentioned I said a lot of terrible things to her. i was really fucking angry and I said some terrible things which I deeply regret and I tried apologizing and making it up but now already our friendship was messed up.

also, she eventually ended up getting a boyfriend and like, if I said I wasn’t a little jealous I’d be lying but I was the one who rejected her in the first place so 😳😳it’s whatever. but she told her boyfriend everything about me and this guy now hates my guts LOL . ever since she started dating the guy she talked to me less and less.

and during a short period of time when we weren’t fighting I introduced her to a friend of mine and now they talk a lot and she likes him more so YES IM FUCKING JEALOUS AND I FUCKING HATE MYSELF.

but this friend of mine she started talking to leads me to my breaking point. so you know she’s been distant because apparently every time we talk it’s a fight but I’m like BUT WHY?? and this next fight will show exactly how ITS NOT ALL MY FAULT, SHES TO FUCKING BLAME AS WELL!!

so she’s been ignoring me for a couple days after a PETTY FIGHT THAT I FELT WAS LITERALLY NOTHING JUST A SILLY LITTLE FIGHT THAT IDC ABOUT. basically she got mad because I was bullying that friend of mine about his league of legends stats 🤣 literally a fucking video game that she doesn’t like and she’s mad at me for TEASING MY FRIEND.

so I got kinda sad.... like why is she ignoring me??

she eventually responded after I sent her a looong paragraph with some identifying info so I’m not gonna show it. BUT HERES WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE ISNT GONNA TALK TO ME WHILE SHES GETTING DRUNK !!

okay the next screenshot has more identifying details so I’m not gonna share but basically she LIED TO ME SAYING SHE HAD NO SERVICE FOR 3 WHOLE DAYS BLAH BLAH BLAH WHILE I COULD GET PROOF THAT SHE WAS TEXTING MY FRIEND LIKE EVERY CHANCE SHE GOT . HE TOLD ME THEY STILL TALKED AND SHE WAS PURPOSELY IGNORING ME BC IM TOO STRESSFUL FOR WHATEVER. BUT SHE FUCKING LIED ABOUT IT

so basically, here’s how it’s not just my fault . yes, getting angry is my fault I could be a little less harsh. im working on it. BUT THIS GIRL HAS BEEN IGNORING ME FOR DAYS AND THEN LIES TO ME?? COME ON ISNT THAT A VALID REASON TO BE UPSET

anyways this is the last thing I sent her before deactivating my Instagram (I have her number too but we rarely talk on there). but the fact that she said we aren’t friends anymore.... broke my fucking heart. I broke down in tears. I had to stop myself from hurting myself or saying something dumb. so I ended it there.

i tried to hard to fix what we once had. yes, I’m at fault for being a dick and not being able to control my anger. but she’s at some fault for giving me valid reasons to be upset. i tried to hard to fix our friendship. but the more I try the more angry I get. she isn’t going to listen to me. she doesn’t even care about me anymore. it’s over.

ive been pretty suicidal lately. a few months ago I started cutting myself again after years and I hate myself for it. i pushed everybody away. she was the last person I regularly talked to. maybe now I can take a break from the fighting, try to get to a better place mentally, and try to get back in touch with some of my other friends, or make new friends.

idk I’m still very upset but this long ass vent that no one is gonna read helped a lot. this all happened over a few months and today was where I ended it. time to start a new chapter I guess

#vent #i have no friends #im a terrible person

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dwimmerlaiks · 7 years

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ugh I wanna save you and me the big rambly post I really want to make about this, so here’s the bulletpoints of me being absolutely in love with life is strange: before the storm (or, the first episode anyway) [quick sidebar from present me to call out past me for her blatant lie; of course this got super rambly, the bullet points didnt do a thing to save it]

- was sceptical at first because, it’s a prequel, different developing studio, different protag, no time turney magic bits, what’s gonna be left?

- turns out what’s left is the heart of it, the best bits, the essentials: the characters, the storyline, the relatability factor, the heart of it all

- chloe as a protagonist is amazing, not only because it’s chloe (who doesnt love her), but... you see so much more of her, the awkwardness, the brashness; you’re not seeing her through max’s super pink glasses anymore, and something happens that works so well for this setup, which....

- for me at least, I mean- max was a great protagonist, but never somebody that felt super identifiable to me? she's super collected, and thoughtful, and - I mean, sure there’s a bit of an agegap between the games, but still - and now you’ve got chloe, and, god, teen chloe? that volatile mixture of anger, and awkwardness, and exuberance, and pain; and a wardrobe of fugly bandtshirts and ..., it just feels like.. there’s just a relatability to her that’s just really struck with me. BTS is perfect for her (so far), because it’s less grim than LIS, but still grim enough - and BTS feels less like, say, donnie darko, and more like every indie teen flick with a lost boy protagonist, except she’s the lead I wish I couldve had in those movies. on a broader level, having a female protagonist (in any media) who’s allowed to be angry, and mad, and destructive, and kind of a mess! and not at all elegantly tragic about it, but clumsy, and weird - it still feels like a novelty to me?

- also she’s super gay, everything is super gay, the entire episode is like a meet cute l m a o. another thing that still feels like taking the first sip of a cool glass of water, you know? idk man, I’m still not used to having this kind of stuff

- the backtalk ability is hilarious omg. ofc the teenchloe superpower would be angry yelling

- RACHEL. elusive, tragic, magnificent rachel. not to be overly niche, but there’s a scene in the movie hackers (1995) (lol) (sry it’s my fave, I got it memorized) where the mom of our protagonist meets the love interest (played by angelina jolie (also magnificent)) and looks her twice over, says “well, now I see what all the fuss is about”. meeting rachel in BTS feels like that. after all that was said about her in LIS - I didnt think they’d get her right, but they did?? school loves her, everyone loves her, chloe loves her, I love her

- i always say this but like.... you know that feeling that’s like, a late summer day, and you’re on your way to somewhere you’re looking out of the car window, and it’s a bit of sadness, and a lot of joy? like melancholia, but not melancholia, because that’s a feeling for fall, and it’s not fall YET. that type of feeling that vodafone commercials try to sell in their ads, and there’ll be an indie song playing in the background with a slow start, and a good baseline, and probably a choral bit in the middle? that’s my favourite feeling in the world. this game captures it p well quite a bit of times

- THE. SOUNDTRACK. ooohm ygod I didnt know daughter did the soundtrack for this (mostly - there are great tracks by other artists, too). the soundtrack is The Feeling (tm), except more October than August. alright, Ive officially stopped making sense. but please, please listen to the soundtrack. it’s SO good. it’s so good. everyone likes to ignore my music recs, but do yourself a favor, and trust me on this.

- just in general, sooooo much drama omg. it’s like the gay indie teen drama you always wanted. or like that really good 5 times fic, 40000k, that you cant stop reading at 2 am. and by you, I mean me. Idk where they’ll go with this in the next couple of episodes, but I really enjoyed this one. gonna shut up about it now though, for now

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