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#and she's a little closer with the moon. instantly noticed when she's upset and is attached to her and always hugging her
koishua · 2 months
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are... are you doing okay? :(
very respectfully no but it's a work in progress ig it's hitting me harder and harder every day how every decision i ever make will influence other people's interactions with me and i wish i could take it all back :')
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Dark Forest Resident: Firelake
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Aliases / Nicknames: Fire, Liarlake
Gender: she-cat
Sexuality: bisexual, panromantic
Family: unnamed mother, unnamed father, Shimmerbranch (daughter), several unnamed kits, Finchoak (mate)
Other Relations: unnamed mentor, unnamed apprentice
Clan: SkyClan
Rank: elder
Characteristics: depressed, loving mother, has echolalia
Murder Motive: to protect her daughter from the world
Number of Victims: 1
Number of Murders: 1
Murder Method: inflicting sickness through injury
Known Victims: Shimmerbranch
Victim Profile: her daughter
Cause of Death: cardiac arrest
Cautionary Tale: ??
Story: 
She was a good mother.
If there was one thing about Firelake that she wanted everyone to know, it was that. She was a good mother.
She did what she did to save Shimmerbranch, even if it's hard to understand.
She wasn't Firelake's first litter, but none of her kits made it to warriorhood.
She was inexperienced with the first little ones, and her heavy sleeping made her fail to notice when two of her three kits snuck out of camp. One of the searching patrols found only one of them, upset at being caught but otherwise overjoyed with his adventure. That is, until he found out that the sister he had snuck out with was found not breathing. It had seemed that she had fell from a tree she had attempted to climb, and died instantly.
The only silver lining in their bleak world was that the tragedy brought the family closer together.
And then her son was taken by a fox when he tried to protect his remaining sister. To make up for the other one's death, Firelake figured, but it didn't matter, because his sister would die from fox wounds the next day anyway. They were only nine moons old.
The pain cut Firelake deep. She never recovered, not really, not truly.
After some moons, she and Finchoak tried for new kits, a new start.
When they were born healthy, she allowed herself to hope.
What a fool she was.
This time, StarClan was cruel. They waited until all of the kits were almost warriors, allowing her so many moons to love them so much, before ripping them away from her.
A war had broken out between SkyClan and ShadowClan, the battles of it taking the lives of three of her kits. Her last kit, a son, died in a botched hunt during his final assessment.
It took a long time before Firelake was ready to even consider having another litter. She didn't hold out much hope, and when her mate, her love, was taken by greencough during her pregnancy, she only felt dread.
This time, she only had a single, little kit. A daughter. The only light in her life. How much longer until that light, too, was snuffed out?
But Shimmerpaw was a miracle. She not only made it to apprenticeship, but warriorhood as well!
Firelake was astonished, overjoyed, but most of all she was terrified.
When was it all going to go wrong? Any day, she would hear that her daughter was taken by a fox, a badger, or that she was taken in a battle or drowned in the lake.
She had to make sure that Shimmerbranch could nevr leave camp again, and that she could always stay by her mother's side.
She heard the stories of that brown cat from ThunderClan....
What other choice did she have?
Shimmerbranch didn't see her push the tree. It's roots were mostly unearthed and it was already leaning. She only had to give it one push...
She had judged it perfectly.
The 'accident' didn't kill Shimmerbranch, thank StarClan, but it would damage her just enough to keep her confined in the camp for lifetime.
Shimmerbranch was distraught beyond words. That was understandable. She had lost the use of both her hind legs and would never be able to hunt or fight again. She didn't realize that that meant she was safe now, no wound inflicted in a battle or broken bone caused by a predator would ever hurt her.
Better yet, Firelake could spend all of her time next to her daughter, keeping her close and being Shimmerbranch's biggest comfort. She didn't see the irony.
Soon after the incident, Firelake retired. It was mainly to spend more time with her daughter, but she was old enough to be an elder at this stage in her life anyway.
Her time as an elder was the happiest for her in a long time. Her daughter was safe and okay, and Firelake no longer had to worry about losing her. She could relax.
Or so she thought.
She had worried about the medicine cats' warnings at first, but when seasons passed and Shimmerbranch was thriving fine, she had thought that the threat of sickness was gone.
She couldn't believe it when Shimmerbranch succumbed to illness quickly after a bought had reached the Clan.
She had tried so hard to keep her safe.
She did so much for her.
Was it all a sick joke? A punishment? To give her hope each time, just to take it away?
How could she live without her kit?
Well as it turned out, she couldn't.
Additional Information: 
--Inspired by the line "Did you hear about that, mother? Broke her daughter's legs in two And said, 'It's too dangerous out there to walk, so I had to save you'" from the song Bruno Is Orange.
--I just want to clarify that I do not think that being paralyzed is a bad thing. I DO think that purposefully injuring someone in order to paralyze them is bad.
--Shimmerbranch succumbed to the sickness easily because of her sickness, making Firelake somewhat responsible for her death. Bu even if Shimmer had lived, Fire still would have joined the Dark Forest for injuring her at all.
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wandaromanova · 3 years
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can i request wandanat x r? r wants to propose to wandanat and has been sneaking around to hide her plans of proposal. wandanat thinks r is cheating and maybe leaves her? you decide but angst please and i just love all your work i can't stop re reading them💕
Ruined
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader x Natasha Romanoff
Warnings: cussing, arguing, very slight violence, cheating allegations
A/N: hi! thank you for your request! im flattered to know that you love and re read my work! i may or may not have intentionally left this on a cliffhanger whoops 🤭 <3
Ruined | Regret
Word Count: 1.8K | masterlist
(gif is not mine)
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You had first met Wanda and Natasha when you were tasked with being the Avengers’ liaison. You were tasked to handpick missions that you believed required the attention of the heroes and assigned team members onto those missions.
You worked very closely with the team, you even lived with them in the compound for convenience. In the time spent working for them, you had grown super close to everyone; most especially Nat and Wanda.
It first started off with the pair going into your office, always asking for missions. You had found it odd considering they never took a break. You didn’t understand why they’d seek out missions when they were clearly exhausted. You figured that maybe they just loved helping people so much that they got excited and anxious for missions, but little did you know what their true intentions were.
They wanted to spend time with you. They wanted to observe you close up and not across a conference table. They wanted to know everything there was to know about you. As creepy as it was, they wanted to get close enough to know what you smelt like. They wanted to know what your lips tasted like. They wanted the relationship with you to surpass professionalism.
Eventually, the two Avengers stopped asking for missions when they came in; they just went to your office for the sake of going there. They’d bring you various lunches every single day and shower you with small compliments.
You’d brushed it off as the women being very good friends that just so happened to be flirts. You were wrong. They were interested in you, in the same way you were in them. You couldn’t help but admire the two beautiful women.
Their green eyes, fit bodies, and kind smiles were a recipe for disaster, in the best way possible. With one look, you’d drop to your knees and do whatever they wanted. They just had to say the word and you would do it, no hesitation. Yeah, it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it’s painfully and embarrassingly true.
Over the course of time, you had grown closer to Wanda and Nat. Your daily lunches turned into daily movie nights and dinners too. You saw them all the time and you didn’t mind it one bit.
They finally asked you out after a year of spending time with and getting closer to you. It was safe to say, you instantly agreed with a smile on your face as you let out an, “of course! fucking finally!”
•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•
Now, you had been dating the two women for five years. Yeah, it’s been a long ass time, but it still wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to spend forever with Wanda and Nat.
You wanted to get an actual house in the suburbs together. Not an apartment in the middle of New York, but a place you could call home. You craved the domesticity of it all.
You wanted to settle down and have kids with them somehow; whether it be by adoption or via surrogate. You just wanted to have a family of your own with the two woman you loved more than anyone or anything in the universe.
So, you’ve been sneaking around trying to keep your secret, well… a secret. You were planning on proposing to your girlfriends. Yes, this was a very huge step in a relationship, but you felt as though it was the right time. You guys had been together for five years! You were practically married to them already!
You would sneak off suddenly during your usual movie nights with Wanda and Nat or before breakfast to go and meet with different jewelers. You didn’t want to go into a store and buy their rings. That was not an option in the slightest. They were special and deserved special rings. They needed rings that were as unique and one of a kind as they were. It’s what Wanda and Nat deserved.
So, you were constantly leaving, whether it be early in the morning or the late hours of the night, on the search for someone who could make your ideas for their rings, a reality. You would hide your phone from Wanda and Nat’s view and even changed your passcode in order to prevent them from finding out. You’d face your phone down whenever you left it in a room with the pair, as well.
Unfortunately, in your excitement of what was to come, you didn’t realize how suspicious your behavior had been. You figured that you were being pretty discreet, coming up with pretty believable excuses. You even had some of the team help you with your lies, since you let them know what you had planned.
However, you forgot you were dating a world class spy and a witch. You were wrong, obviously. As each day passed, your girlfriends worried and assumed the worst. They let their minds spiral and searched for worst case scenarios. The worst one of all seeming the most likely; infidelity. They came to the conclusion that you were cheating on them.
•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•
Natasha and Wanda cried to one another on one of the nights you bolted off and zoomed out of the apartment with a lame excuse.
Wanda sat on the couch as Nat held her in her arms. They both had tears cascading down their faces as their thoughts were plagued by you; by your supposed betrayal.
“How? How could she do this to us? After everything we’ve been through? She’s goes and cheats on us?” Wanda spoke brokenly as she released a sob. Natasha pulled Wanda closer, the Sokovian woman placing her head in the crook of Nat’s neck.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know, Wanda. All I know is, this can’t go on any longer.” Natasha spoke, trying to keep her voice steady, but her voice failed her. She came out shaky as the sadness and hurt seeped in. You had betrayed them, or so they thought.
They sat there in the same position, waiting for your return. Finally, four hours later. You had come back to the apartment.
You were ecstatic as you made your way up to the front door. You finally found a jeweler that could make the perfect rings for Wanda and Nat! You couldn’t wait to get on one knee and present the rings to the two women who would forever hold your heart. You were over the moon excited right now.
However, your joy was quickly wiped away the second you stepped foot into the apartment. You took in the sight of Wanda and Natasha on the couch, staring at you with dried and fresh tears on their faces. You instantly shut the door and tossed your keys onto the counter as you rushed towards your girlfriends worriedly.
“Nat, Wands, what’s wrong loves?” You asked as you approached them, but Natasha abruptly stood up before you could get too close.
“Don’t you take another fucking step!” Nat snapped at you, and you stumbled backwards a little, in total shock. Your concern increased as you looked between the fuming redhead and the heartbroken looking brunette.
“Did something happen? What’s wrong?” You were so confused and desperately wanted to comfort your girlfriends. You don’t recall doing anything that could anger and upset them this much.
“Yeah, something happened. Our girlfriend is a fucking pathetic, cheating ass bitch who can’t keep it in her pants.” Natasha spoke with venom dripping from her tone. You literally let out a gasp, her words physically hurting you.
“What the hell are you talking about? I’m not cheating on you guys! I love you both more than you guys could even imagine!” You raised your voice, getting frustrated with the situation.
Wanda suddenly stood up and stuck beside Nat. She stared at you with anger clouding her sadness now.
“You’re not cheating on us? Then why the hell have you been running off at weird hours of the day? Why have you been hiding your phone from us?” Wanda began to fire a bunch of questions towards you.
You froze in your place. The answers to their questions weren’t what they thought they would be. The true answers were the complete opposite of cheating, you were acting weird because you were planning on proposing! But you couldn’t tell them that!
You stood silently as the two women stared at you, breathing heavily. They took your silence as confirmation of their suspicions.
“We fucking knew it. You’re a fucking joke, Y/N. Were we not enough for you? Was two women not enough for you?” Wanda inched her way towards you, eyes glowing red.
You backed away, not in fear, but in sadness. You really wished you could tell them the real reasons behind your behavior, but you couldn’t without blowing up your surprise.
“Did you really think you could go behind our backs without us noticing?” Wanda continued to stalk towards you, like she was about to murder you.
“I swear to you both, I would never, ever, cheat on you guys. You’re both more than enough for me. You’re my home, I’d never jeopardize that.” You tried to convince your girlfriends to believe you, but they weren’t having it.
“Stop lying to us!” Wanda screamed out as she sent you flying back with a scarlet colored blast as she used her powers on you. Your back connected with the front door as you groaned. That was going to be a huge bruise later, for sure.
“I’m not lying. When have I ever lied to you both, huh? Why the fuck would I start now?” You asked exasperatedly as you stood up slowly. You cringed at the pain radiating from your back.
“And here you go again, more lies coming out of your slutty mouth. The fucking nerve you have, Why don’t you go and fuck whoever you’ve been seeing and leave us alone?” Natasha spoke as she moved forward, placing her hand firmly on Wanda’s waist.
Before you even have the chance to speak, Wanda opened the door with her powers and tossed you out of the apartment. She abruptly slammed the door in your face. Wanda and Nat’s angry, pain-filled faces and scarlet colored magic being the last things you saw before the door blocked your vision with a harsh slam.
You sat on the ground in front of the door in shock. They thought you were cheating on them. They didn’t want anything do with you now. What the fuck were you supposed to do now? What did this mean for your proposal? Should you cancel on the jeweler? Or should you hold out hope and pray that they’ll hear you out eventually?
All you did know was that your proposal had been ruined regardless. Whether you told them about your plans or not, the moment was doomed the minute they began to suspect cheating.
Withholding the information from them, caused them to push you away. But now that you look at it, if you had just told them about the proposal, you’d at least be in their arms right now and not on the floor of your apartment complex hallway with tears streaming down your face.
You were at a loss, and you didn’t know if you could gain back the trust of the women you loved.
───────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────────
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helloalycia · 3 years
Text
The Wrong Lifetime — Fourteen // Wanda Maximoff
chapter thirteen | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | epilogue
author’s note: the last chapter is finally here! i hope you like it 😊
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There were many times when I'd get distracted by thoughts of Wanda.
I could be going for a walk and remember that time she tripped over the flat pavement, almost bringing me down with her. I could be shopping for stationary and remember that time she almost bought the whole shop in one visit. I could be sitting by the water fountain and remember that time she tried to make a wish, only to drop her whole purse in it.
This time, I'd just woken up to the sun streaming through my curtains. I rolled over to an empty bed, hand brushing against the cold sheets as they expected more. For some reason, my subconscious decided to taunt me with a memory taking place just after we'd first made love in her room...
"I love you so much," Wanda told me with an enchanting smile.
I turned to face her, one arm comfortable under the pillow as the other rested outside the duvet, covering my bare chest. She raised her hand, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear before resting her hand there. I smiled at the contact and felt a warmth spreading all over me at the affectionate gaze she sent my way.
"I know, love, you only said it several times," I teased lightly, making her chuckle. "I love you, too, though, in case you didn't know."
She sighed contently, eyes closing. I admired how beautiful she looked with her hair sprawled over her bare shoulders, smile on her lips and freckles dusting her skin. Her touch still ghosted my body, taste still embedded between my lips, scent still wavering in my nose. She was permanent and I was certain she'd never leave.
"We should probably get up in case somebody comes to check on us," she said, interrupting my moment of admiration.
Her eyes flickered open slowly, blue with golden flecks glistening right back at me. Suddenly, anything that happened after this didn't matter to me. For once, I appreciated where we were, what we had and nothing more or less. No wedding, no future... just now.
"We should," I agreed regretfully, though her leg moved closer to mine and made me wish we could stay here longer. "I wish we didn't have to."
She smiled halfheartedly, hand moving down my cheek, caressing the skin, before they rested at my chin. She outlined my lips with her thumb before leaning forward and stealing a kiss.
"Can't we have a few more minutes?" she asked, lips brushing mine as she spoke.
She was making it very hard to deny her and judging from the playful smirk on her lips, she knew that.
"I guess we can," I agreed quietly, making her smile with satisfaction.
She rolled on top of me, capturing my lips in a kiss as her bare chest pressed to mine and my hand found her waist for support. As usual, the effect she had on me was indescribable and I couldn't imagine us ever leaving the bed. I knew for sure that I'd never been happier than I was in that moment.
It was such a perfect moment, but it haunted me. Nothing felt right without her. She'd overwhelmed all of my senses and remained, even when I didn't have her by me in person. The wedding was literally in a few weeks, but I hadn't managed to get over her.
How could I be her maid of honour when I could barely speak to her? Not without wanting to curl in a ball and cry afterwards. Every thing I did seemed to be filled with memories of her. She was inescapable.
A groan left my lips as I dragged my hand down my face with frustration. I couldn't let her get to me yet again. I had an interview with the local paper today. The last thing I needed was Wanda as a distraction.
So, with that lovely thought lingering in my mind, I dragged myself out of bed to get ready for the day ahead.
Press interviews weren't something I was used to.
Whenever Y/B/N had them with journalists for his books, I wasn't present. The only thing I heard was when he came back and told me how it went, then I proceeded to read about it in the paper the next day.
I was sat in Steve's office at Maximoff Publishing with Steve sat by my side, sending me a supportive smile. A journalist from the local paper sat before us, notebook and pen in hand as he watched on with curious eyes.
"So, Y/N," he began. "I'll start with the obvious, if you don't mind."
I glanced at Steve who nodded encouragingly. Clearing my throat, I looked to the journalist. "Sure thing."
He smiled and glanced at his notebook before asking, "How does it feel to be published? You're Pietro Maximoff's first female author."
"An author who happens to be female," I corrected, hoping I didn't come off as rude. "And that isn't something that should be new, in my opinion. It should be normalised."
He nodded, noting it down in his notebook. "Controversy... I like it."
Swallowing hard, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"I think the readers would like to know how you managed to score a publisher," he began his next question. "How exactly did you get noticed amongst the many authors that look to be published?"
Okay, not so difficult, I could answer that.
"Well, it was actually my–" I paused, Wanda's face flashing to mind. Okay, maybe a little difficult.
"Your...?" the journalist prompted.
I blinked, attempting to find my words.
"Wanda," Steve answered, starting me off.
I looked to him with grateful eyes before looking back to the journalist. "Right. Yes. Wanda."
"Your brother's fiancé, right?" the journalist asked for clarification.
"Yes," I answered, with an accidental clipped tone. "She... she was the one who gave my work to her brother. Asked him to look at it. And the rest is history."
The journalist was making notes as I spoke, nodding and humming in response, before looking to me with raised brows.
"So, the wedding," he said, making me wince subtly. "Are you excited?"
Forcing a smile, I said, "Ecstatic."
"How does it feel to have your two families uniting?" he asked, and I chewed on my lips, unsure how to respond.
"I– er–"
"Are you afraid that Y/B/N marrying Wanda may put him in Pietro's good graces?" he interrupted eagerly, leaning forward in his seat.
I opened my mouth to answer, but I didn't know what to say that wouldn't land me in hot water or make me look like a jealous sibling. Glancing to Steve questioningly, he thankfully noticed my speechlessness and gave the journalist a warning stare.
"Can you stay on topic, please?" he asked the keen journalist. "Y/N is here to talk about her book and nothing more."
"Okay, okay," the journalist gave in, making me exhale slowly. "What's next in store for your readers, Y/N? A sequel, perhaps?"
"I'm not sure," I answered truthfully. "I'm still in awe at the reception from the first one."
He nodded, note taking as he listened. "How many books do you think you'll get out of your career before getting married like your brother?"
I raised my eyebrows with disbelief. But I didn't get to answer as he was already moving onto his next question.
"Are you not worried about getting married? You know, men don't like smart women."
Narrowing my eyes at him, I clenched my fists by my side and was very close to strangling him before we were interrupted. A servant whom I recognised from home knocked on the door and earned everyone's attention.
"Oh, tell him to go away," the journalist said dismissively, waving his hand.
Steve looked to me and I plastered a bitter smile on my lips as I glanced at the journalist.
"I'd let him in if I were you," I told Steve, and he seemed to understand that I was about to pummel the journalist if I wasn't distracted, because he nodded and motioned for the servant to enter.
The journalist sighed rudely and I clenched my jaw before looking to the servant with a quirked brow. He looked out of breath, panting for air and face flushed red.
"Did you run here?" I realised, cocking my head to the side with confusion.
He nodded, straightening up and attempting to catch his breath. "Yes, Miss Y/L/N. Very sorry to interrupt, but your mother insisted I hurry."
My eyes widened. "Oh, God, what happened? Is she okay?"
"Kind of," he answered, before clarifying, "The wedding between your brother and Miss Maximoff has been cancelled."
"What?!" everyone in the room asked at the same time.
What did he mean the wedding had been cancelled?! Wanda and Y/B/N weren't going to get married?
"I don't know the details," the servant got out quickly. "I just know that your mother sent me to fetch you as soon as possible. She's distraught and requires you home immediately."
I nodded instantly, already making a move to stand up, then I remembered where I was.
"You mustn't publish anything you just heard," I told the journalist with a stern finger, but he seemed over the moon at the news.
"Go, Y/N, your mother needs you," Steve said, resting a hand on my shoulder as he, too, stood up. He side-eyed the journalist as he added, "I'll take care of this tool."
At that, the journalist's eyes widened with fear and judging from the smirk on Steve's lips, I knew things would be okay.
"Thank you," I told him, hugging him quickly, before looking to the servant. "I'll go now. Thank you."
After giving the servant some money to grab a treat and calm him from his breathless state, I got a carriage home with my mind racing a million thoughts a minute.
Why was the wedding off? My mum was distraught, according to the servant, so that could only mean it hadn't been her choice. Was it Y/B/N? Had he broken it off? Or maybe it was Wanda? But no. She'd never do that. She wouldn't hurt her family like that.
I wasn't sure what it was, but I definitely didn't know how to feel. This could either be heavily in my favour or go against me in the worst way possible...
When I arrived home, I found my family in the dining room. My mum was sat down, upset and shaking her head in her hands, tear marks on her face. My dad was sat beside her, rubbing her back soothingly and whispering calming things to her as my brother stood to the side, looking apologetic and uncomfortable.
"It's okay, mum, it'll be okay," he was saying to her from across the table. "It's not a big deal. I can find somebody–"
"Hello...," I began awkwardly, standing in the doorway and hesitant to move forward. "I just got the news from our servant. What happened?"
"Oh, Y/N, you shouldn't have–" my father began regretfully, before my mum slammed her hand on the table and glared at my brother.
"Y/B/N broke off the engagement!" she shouted with frustration.
"There you go...," my dad mumbled before returning his attention to his wife.
"Mum, I–"
"You did what?!" I cut Y/B/N off with raised brows. "You broke off the engagement? You dumped Wanda?"
He looked to me with sad eyes. "Y/N–"
"You idiot!" I shouted, feeling angry as I imagined the effect this must have had on the Maximoff family. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would you–?!"
He grabbed my waving arm and dragged me out of the dining room, making me shove him off when we reached the hall.
"Why the hell did you break it off?!" I yelled at him with a glare. "Why would you–"
"I didn't!" he whisper-shouted back, looking down at me with a downcast expression. "She did!"
My anger faded as I realised he was telling the truth. He looked genuinely hurt, eyes glassy and a frown on his lips. Wanda was the one to break it off? What?
"She broke it off with me," he elaborated quietly, so our parents couldn't hear. "She told me this morning. She said she didn't love me and that she couldn't marry me."
I swallowed hard, looking away from him momentarily. "Why did you tell mum and dad that it was you who broke up with her?"
He pinched his forehead with agitation. "Because it looks a lot less foolish if I say it was me rather than her. She doesn't love me, Y/N. She never did."
I risked looking at him, seeing his disheartened expression. Part of me felt guilty because I knew it was my fault this had happened, but I couldn't exactly say that to him, so I stayed quiet. He shook his head once more before walking away, leaving me standing there with shock.
"Er, Miss Y/L/N?"
I spun around when one of our servants approached me.
"I know now isn't the best time," she began, "but a letter came for you earlier. I left it on your desk as you were at work."
Nodding, I offered the servant a halfhearted smile before watching her leave. There was so much to unpack right now...
I headed upstairs and to my room to see what letter was here for me. But I was finding it hard to focus since all that was on my mind was the broken engagement and Y/B/N and Wanda... I needed to see her. What the hell was I doing here?
Planning on going to see Wanda as soon as possible, I grabbed the letter from my desk with the intention of reading it on the way out, but then I recognised the handwriting on the front and paused at my desk.
It was Wanda's handwriting.
I hurried to tear open the envelope, wondering what she had to say. It was no doubt related to the broken engagement.
Dearest Y/N,
I hope that you manage to read this letter before you hear the news, but knowing our families, you'll read it afterwards. In which case, you will know that I have broken off the engagement with Y/B/N.
It was the right thing to do. I chose to do it and I'm sorry if it's caused tension between your brother and your family, but I knew that I couldn't go forward with it when I'm in love with you. I'm not expecting you to come back to me and run away together all dramatically – this isn't about that.
I did this for myself. I'm not in love with your brother and I never was. He should have known that. He had to. Because if not, I'm afraid I broke his heart. And that's the last thing I wanted.
I also did this for you. I need you to know that I'm not heartless or horrible and I didn't expect you to sacrifice anything for me. Cheating on your brother with you... I never meant for this to happen, nor did I mean to get in the way of you both. Falling in love with you was completely accidental, but I don't regret it.
I don't want to go on too much, but I just needed you to know the truth, from me, that I am truly sorry for causing you such pain. I'm still in love with you and I'll never forget what we had. In another lifetime, maybe we could have worked. I'm certain that you were always perfect for me, as was what we had. You are magic, Y/N. I just wasn't powerful enough to keep you.
When I finished reading, I flipped the page over, expecting to find more, but it was blank. She'd ended it there and I didn't know what to think. My heart was racing, mind adjusting too slowly for my liking. She'd broke it off with him for me. I knew she loved me, but I guess I'd never realised just how much.
After recovering from my shock, I put the letter away and left for Wanda's, not bothering to tell my family where I was going. My dad was attempting to console my disappointed mother as Y/B/N moped around somewhere else, so I took that as my chance to nip out without them noticing.
I was trying to plan what to say to her – I didn't even know what I wanted to say to her. She said she didn't expect me to get back with her, and even without Y/B/N and their engagement in the way, we still couldn't be together. Not like how we wanted to be. But I wanted to. I wanted her. All this time without her had been heartbreaking – I didn't want to leave her again. I didn't know the specifics of how we would work, but we could work. We had to.
When I reached her house, it was her mother who opened the door. And that's when I realised that I wasn't sure if she blamed Y/B/N or her daughter for the engagement breaking apart.
"Iryna, hi," I greeted with a nervous smile. "I'm sorry if this is a bad time–"
"Y/N, I'm glad you're here," she cut me off, immediately pulling me in for a hug. "Thank you for coming."
I nodded with mild confusion, returning the hug, before pulling away.
"I'm so sorry for the pain Wanda has caused to your family," she said regretfully. "I hope that your parents aren't as distraught as we are."
I eyed her strangely, still not sure what Wanda had told her. Either way, I didn't bother questioning it as my urgency to see Wanda was overpowering my curiosity.
"It's okay, Iryna, there's no need to apologise," I reassured her. "My family will be okay... I just thought I'd come and check in on Wanda. It's a lot, what happened."
She nodded sympathetically. "Thank you, sweetheart. You're such a good friend to her." She stood to the side to let me in. "Go on up. She's in her room. Hasn't come out since this morning."
I offered a small, awkward smile Iryna's way before letting myself in and going upstairs to Wanda's room. My palms were sweaty and my mouth was dry – stupidly juxtaposed – when I stopped before Wanda's door. On the way over here, I still hadn't decided what to say. I figured it would just come to me when I saw her. One could hope.
Knocking on the door, I heard her sweet, accented voice give me permission to enter. My stomach flipped at the sound and I did as she said. Closing the door behind me, I turned and saw Wanda sat at a stool before a canvas.
Noticing I didn't say anything, she glanced over her shoulder casually, probably expecting a family member. She widened her eyes when she realised it was me and immediately stood up, smoothing out her paint-covered smock in an attempt to look neater. The simple action warmed my heart – she was adorable and I couldn't help but smile.
"Hi," I said quietly.
She cleared her throat, eyes darting around nervously. "Hey. I didn't– what are– hi."
I let my eyes wander, admiring her messy ponytail and the strokes of paint on her face that she definitely wasn't aware of. She was stunning, even with her confused eyes and pursed lips. Better yet, her hand was ring-free and I was reminded of the fact that she wasn't engaged anymore.
"I assume you're here because you read the letter," she began apologetically, but I didn't let her finish because the longer I was in her presence, the more I realised I wanted to kiss her.
Approaching her, I found her eyes before pressing my lips to hers. My hands cupped her cheeks as I held her close, revelling in her taste and scent and touch. She was quick to react, her fingers curling around my waist and tugging me towards her, squeezing our bodies together. Breathing became a problem and we regretfully had to pull away, but remained close enough to exchange breaths and swim in each other's eyes. I'd never been more relieved to see the colour green.
"You're not mad," she realised, looking between my eyes as if trying to search for some anger.
"How can I be mad that you broke off your engagement for me, knowing we can never be together in the way that you deserve?" I asked with disbelief.
She smiled beautifully, making my heart flutter in my chest. "You still love me."
I stole another kiss from her lips. "I never stopped, Wanda. Of course I still love you."
She rested her forehead to mine and closed her eyes peacefully. "Thank you for coming back."
I laughed, feeling tears brim my eyes. "I'm not leaving again, love. We'll find a way to make this work. I promise you that."
Wanda Maximoff deserved the world. And I was going to give it to her in this lifetime and beyond.
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damn-stark · 3 years
Text
Are you still mad?
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Jean Kirstein x reader
Requested by anon “HEY🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ can i request a jean x reader where they have an argument but jean doesnt take her seriously cuz he thinks shes ‘cute wen shes mad’ and he’s Attractive wen hes angry so... he busts out the ‘u wanna kiss me so bad’ line and then Hate Sex😁 TY💓”
A/N- Let me just say, I’m still new to this okay! Like this type of writing, practice makes better, so please be patient and nice :) I love you all, thank you for reading!!
Warning- NSFW (smut), rough and angry sex, fluff, and well just that, enjoy :), long hair jean because that man sexy
———-
“Hey, hey, hey, hey.”
He was delusional to think that you’d forget what he was doing on the field. He’s acting like he’s done nothing, acting like he doesn’t know you're angry at him. He always tries to play it off like you aren’t, or like it’s something that will just pass in a matter of seconds, like your anger will disappear out of thin air and that only pisses you off more.
“Hey, I’m talking to you,” Jean calls out to you again, this time grabbing your arm and pulling you into a lonely alleyway. “Talk to me.”
You pull your arm away and try to walk away and join the rest of your friends, but he grabs you again and pulls you in front of him.
“I have nothing to talk to you about.” You seeth while you avert your gaze.
Jean rests his hand on the wall by your head and his eyes slowly roam your face and he expression that was deeply painted on it. “You’re angry.”
You scoff and push him away. “Yeah because you were reckless today, you didn’t listen and you almost died.”
Jean rolls his eyes, but doesn’t try to argue which is a surprise in itself. Instead he’s the one who desculates the situation. “You know that it’s not like that, I just try my best to help our friends, to save them and you.”
“Yes, I understand, but it doesn’t mean you have to be reckless about it, Jean.” You counter with no sign of calming down. You’ve only argued about this with him so many times and it still didn’t go through his big head. “I don’t know why you don’t understand that.”
“There's nothing to understand.” Instead of leaving you alone, Jean smirks and grabs your chin to tilt your head to face him. That of course pisses you off more. “You know, you’re cute when you’re mad.”
Your eyes widen and you feel your anger boil over, any other time a comment like the one he made now would make your heart flutter, and make you smile, you would completely melt, but this time the words felt almost toxic.
Yet you couldn’t get enough of him.
But instead of giving him the satisfaction to let him see what he caused you, you push him back again and express your anger. “Don’t say that, you’re not listening to me.” You finally meet his gaze and fight not to just give in to him. “Jean, you’re—”
“And you’re not listening to me,” he cuts you off, this time beginning to lose his temper along with you, “it’s nothing to be angry about, because it’s not a big deal, it’s what we do. I’ve told you so many times already, but you don’t listen. Just for once do it, or what are you going to admit you like me?”
Your jaw drops as you gasp, continuing to look into his eyes that had instantly dropped his anger. “You just ruined everything.” For one last time you try to walk off in your heated anger, but Jean is quick and grabs you to spin you and pull you close to his chest, showing his cocky smirk that made your knees weak.
He proceeds to lean loser and tilt his head slightly to the side, continuing with his ridiculous comments in a much softer voice. “You want to kiss me so bad, huh?”
You try to gasp out loud, but nothing audible escapes your lips, you’re instead left watching him with a stunned expression, left watching as his eyes travel down to your lips and he proceeds to lean in and kiss you. That moment causing you to stop breathing and just close your eyes, moving your hands to wrap them around his arms to try and push him away, but not necessarily doing that, instead pulling himcloser and kissing him back slowly at first, still dumbfounded of what had just happened; of what you’ve been wanting to happen for months now, but didn’t have the right confidence boost to do it.
Your actions make Jean smile however and find the chance to push you back to the wall. Beginning to deepen the kiss that finally caused a spark that pulled you from your stupor and realize what you were doing. Albeit not stopping said action and instead sliding your hands up to feel his muscles before you stopped and wrapped one hand around his neck, while the other you dug in his hair, pulling it slightly as he gently bit your bottom lip before he pulled away and gave you both a chance to catch your breath.
When you look up to catch your breath, you swear you see stars in the darkened clouds, your lips twitch into a smile, but before you could fully express the happiness you felt, Jean's voice pulls your attention to him and it erases your smile. “Are you still angry?”
Your eyebrows furrow and you scoff. Why would he ask that?
You don’t say anything and instead just close the small gap between the both of you by pulling him into an open mouth kiss that was packed with much more passion and heat. Jean pulls away again, but this time to press a kiss on the corner of your lips and then leave a trail of wet kisses all the way down to your neck, where he begins to gently suck at your sweet spot, making you grip onto his hair a little tighter and notcing that it wasn’t as soft, but still a little sweaty from your travel. You didn’t let it bother you however and instead you focus on the growing sensation and the growing heat he was causing, expressing a soft moan that made Jean snicker and travel back up to your mouth. Moving one hand down to your thigh and pulling your leg to wrap it around his waist.
He leans in to kiss you again, but hesitates as he meets your gaze to shoot you a breathless and smug smile, continuing to press himself closer to you and move his hand down your body in an attempt to pull the shirt over your head, but stopping as you finally spoke out. “Don’t, this has to be quick, or else they’re going to catch us.”
“Fine,” Jean groans, moving his hands from your shirt and moving his fingers to unbutton your pants, struggling for a moment and cursing as his desperation didn’t let him think clearly. You had to help him unbutton them, sliding your leg off him and pulling your pants down your ankles.
“Not so hard,” you quip, hiding your smirk and moving your own fingers to unbutton his pants, moving to press a kiss on his lips and slowly sliding your tongue over his bottom lip. Unlike him, successfully doing what he failed to do.
You would’ve bragged about it, but instead you let him kiss you, let him swing your leg over his waist again and let his tongue explore the inside of your mouth. Feeling him smile as he heard your whimpers in the back of your throat as he did so.
You wanted his hands to explore your body and his lips to touch every square inch, but you had to remember that you weren’t in any room, you were still in fact outside with limited time and no space. Plus you were still upset at him and his reckless behavior. You would only let him do so much and instead let him dream of what he could do, even if you wanted him to get away with a lot and be with you all night.
Maybe some other time.
For now you enjoyed your heated moment, feeling your want heighten as you felt his hard needing bulge rub against your wet, needing and heavenly spot still covered by the fabric of your underwear.
Jean groans in your mouth at the slight contact and pulls away from your mouth to put his hands on your hips, looking down at what forbid him from fully feeling you before drifting his eyes up to meet yours, letting you see his blown out pupils reflect the light of the moon as it stood directly over your heads. He heaved just like you were and leaned in to kiss you again, but stops and his breath stutters as you roll your hip on his erection, letting out a soft moan and arching your back as he rolls his hips seconds after. Something that made him smile before he looked down and saw your underwear was soaked.
“Tsk, look at you.” He murmurs against your lips, sliding his slim fingers down to your waist and dragging them down slowly to hook his finger on the waistband of your underwear, slowly pulling it down before he pulls down his own. “I thought you were angry at me, pretty baby.”
Your eyes flicker down, but before you could get a glimpse of what he hid, he put his knuckle under your chin and tilted your head up and shook his head. “Tsk, this is quick, remember.” His fingers dig into your hips to lift you a bit and line his tip with your entrance, pushing you down and slowly easing every delicious and thick inch of himself into your wet and throbbing pussy. Moaning into your mouth as you clench around his member.
You tug his hair that was beginning to grow out and your eyes shut at the feeling of him achingly staying in place. “Jean,” you moan softly, panting heavily and dropping your gaze to meet his; only noticing his eyes were shut before he rests his forehead in the crook of your neck, staying painfully still inside you. You would’ve let him any other time, but right now you really needed him. “Jean, please.”
“Just,” Jean interjects softly, “please.”
“Jean. Please I need you, please.” You purr by his ear, feeling him lift his head and seeing as he pulled away to meet your pleading gaze, showing you a new emotion in his eyes that wasn’t there before. A sort of fire, an anger that he had only shown for a couple seconds.
“Fine,” he growls, not waiting a single moment before he rips away and slams back into you, causing you to scream out and arch your back until your chest hit his, shutting your eyes so hard that you swear you could see stars dance around in the darkness of your closed eyelids.
Jean is quick to slap his hand over your mouth to shut up your loud moans that could attract any curious person, as he continued to pound you into the wall, leaving no space for kindness, or sweet kisses, just brutally thrusting into you and instantly finding that divine spot that made tears prickle at the corner of your eyes.
Every inch of him felt heavenly, like you couldn’t get enough, it made you think through your daze of why you hadn’t done this before, even if all the desire to do so was always there, but only shut off by each other’s pride. He always teased you, like you with him, there was always shared glances and close calls, but it never came to this, what you were doing in the dark in this lonely abandoned alleyway.
You would’ve thought this was crazy any other day, but now you couldn’t think of anything else, didn’t want anything else but feel his cock easily slide in and out of your warm and wet pussy. Hearing his moans that he tried to hold back as to not let any noise, beside skin slapping against skin be heard echoing down the alleyway. He tried he really did, you could see it by the way he bit his lip, and or tried to kiss you, but the euphoria he felt didn’t let him do much but just whisper sweet nothings and your name into your ear, just holding back from what he really wanted to express.
You hug him tight and clenched harder around him as you felt you were beginning to reach your climax, and felt him close to reaching his.
“I-I, shit,” Jean groans by your ear, moving his hand from your mouth and slowing his pace into softer, yet quick thrusts, “I lo—”
“Do-don't you dare sa-sa-say it.” You wheeze before expressing a throaty moan, “Jean.”
Jean digs his nails into your hips and moves one hand to slap it on the wall by the side of your head, turning his thrusts harder again and ripping apart everything inside you.
He moves his head and presses a kiss on your lips, wanting to deepen it, but stopping and resting his forehead on yours before he came inside you without warning, stalling there and panting out your name.
He wanted to stop, but he continued; this time just rolling his hips into you in a slow and sweet pace that finally sent you over the edge. Making your toes curl and arch your back to then whimper out his name since nothing else, but a soft gasp left your mouth.
The sensation of your climax was euphoric, mind-numbing and blinding, your heart felt as if it was going to explode out. Tears rolled down your cheeks and your chest heaved up down, you loosened your grip on his hair and pull away to rest your back on the wall, still feeling the explosive feeling radiating inside you and feeling nothing. Hearing nothing but your heart and Jeans breathing until he broke the silence with a stupid question. “Are you still mad at me.”
You open your eyes and blink to look at him, tilting your head, and rolling your eyes as you pushed him off you. In that instant, feeling an instant regret as you felt empty now, felt each other’s warm cum slide down your leg.
Jean was quick to come to your aid, pulling a rag from inside his jacket that looked surprisingly clean. “Here, let me.”
“No,” you call out, grabbing the rag from his hand and cleaning yourself. “I’ve got it. Thank you.”
“Really,” Jean presses, “are you still mad?”
Your eyes flicker up to him for a brief moment before you pull your underwear and pants on, buttoning it in silence and watching as he mirrors your actions until you both stand fully dressed in the same alley way in waiting silence. You sigh and shake your head, “no, I just,” you pause and zip your jacket, shrugging before answering quietly. Ignoring the throbbing that was still going on in between your legs. “I just worry about you, Jean, okay? That’s why I get mad, I can’t express my worry for you any other way. I’m sorry.”
Jean smiles softly and tilts your head up with his knuckle so he could meet your gaze. “I knew that, I just wanted you to admit it.”
You scoff and push his arm away. “You just—”
Jean grabs your hand to pull you back to him. “Wait,” he presses a soft kiss on your lips and whispers out what he had intended to say. “Thank you for worrying about me, I worry about you too, believe it or not.” He grins and presses another kiss on your lips, “I lo—”
“Jean! Y/N!”
You both look to the end of the alleyway to see Connie and Sasha, both carrying goofy grins on their lips and food in their hands.
“Where have you two been? We’ve been looking for you!” Sasha reveals, making Jean grow pink.
“Oh you know,” you smirk, seeing Jean's face burn at the thought that you were going to reveal what you had been doing. “Fighting.”
“Well,” Connie rolls out, “that’s not surprising.”
They both hurry to join the both of you and you throw Jean his rag, seeing him from the corner of your eyes have a hard time putting it away.
“Anyway, we got food, let’s go!” Sasha exclaims happily, taking your hand and pulling you along with her. Leaving behind Jean and a smiling Connie who knew too much for his own good.
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True Mate- part 2
Here you are! The much requested 2nd part to True Mate! *Familiar Characters are NOT mine!*
Fandom: Twilight(New Moon mostly)
Warnings: Angst! Mentions of Edward’s inner turmoil, “death”?, A little but of fluff. A bit longer than part 1. 
Pairings/Characters: Edward Cullen x vampire!reader, Volturi Kings, Volturi Elite Guard, Alice Cullen, Bella Swan, The rest of the Olympic Coven. 
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Edward didn't notice Bella until she was practically throwing herself at him. He was waiting outside, still hidden from the sun while he waited for his mate to feed. He caught her easily and gaped. "Bella?" She hugged him close, practically clawing at his back and the nape of his neck. Her scent nearly overpowered him. It had been so long since he'd smelled it. He pulled back. "You're alive?"
         "Yes. I'm alive. You don't have to do this." Edward's brows furrowed. "Do what?" Bella gestured to him. "Kill yourself. Alice told me that's what you planned on doing." It took everything in him not to chuckle. Alice must have stopped watching for his future. Either that or hadn't told Bella everything.
         Before he could answer, another voice spoke up. "Cullen, the masters want to see you. Now." Demetri's red eyes swung over to Bella. Bella grabbed onto Edward's arm, nails digging into the flesh. Even if he could, he didn't have to read her mind to know she was afraid. This was going to make things that much more difficult. Alice appeared at his shoulder as well with Felix at her side.
         "This isn't necessary. We'll come with you," Edward stated calmly, hoping to convey that he had no intention of disobeying. Not now. He followed after Felix and Demetri, making sure Alice was with them as well. Bella still clung to his arm. The scent was driving him insane once again. He needed to get away from her before he did something he'd regret. He listened to Alice's mind and Bella's questions, answering without really thinking. He was too busy trying to remember to hold his breath. He was saved from his thoughts, however, when their small group approached the throne room doors.
         Bella didn't let go of his arm when the eyes of all three of the masters landed on them. "Look, Brothers! It seems Isabella is alive after all!" Aro cried with a gleeful clap of his hands, "I do love happy endings. They are so rare." Edward gave Aro a tight smile, but his eyes searched the room for you as he hoped Bella would finally let go before you appeared. It would not end well for Bella if she didn't.
         "And Alice is here too," Aro continued. As Edward opened his mouth to ask the leaders to let Alice and Bella go, that sense of peace washed over him again. He fought back a smile when you entered the room. Your eyes met his and you graced him with an upturn of your lips. At least until you saw Bella clinging to your mate like a toddler.
         Your eyes turned dark and your teeth gnashed together. In an instant, Felix was in front of you, holding you back. Bella flinched. "Oh my. Perhaps, dear Isabella, you would be kind enough to remove your hands from young Edward. You seem to be upsetting Y/N." Bella stared dumbly at him, prompting you to growl out, "Remove your hands from my mate." In your fury, Edward couldn't help but stare. You were beautiful. Glorious. Never before had Edward's inner monster been so at peace knowing there was someone who would give everything for him, even with Bella's intoxicating fragrance invading his senses.
         "Mate? You aren't his mate." Edward closed his eyes at Bella's audacity. Even Alice winced a bit. She knew the difference between singers and true mates. She gently removed Bella's hands from Edward, who instantly appeared at your side, whispering soothing words in your ear. You calmed a bit, but your red eyes never left Bella. You were furious, your own inner beast threatening to claw its way out and destroy the person who dared to try and claim your mate.
         "I'm afraid you're mistaken, Isabella. See, you are Edward's blood singer. Your blood calls to him. It urges him to give into his true nature. I am surprised you've survived this long. Just remembering how you smell to him…makes me thirsty," Aro stated before clearing his throat and continuing, "But Y/N is Edward's true mate. The part of him that makes him feel whole."
         Bella blinked and flicked her gaze between Aro and you and Edward. You had calmed considerably with Edward at your side. Your thoughts were becoming clear again to the mind reader. "This? This is who he tried to destroy himself over? Sure, I guess she's pretty enough and her blood, oh that smells good, but she's a mouse. A mouse playing at lion." You glanced at Edward and smiled as you apologized to him in your mind. You spoke again to Felix who was still extremely close. "You can relax now, Felix. I'm fine," you said before cutting your glare back to Bella.
         "I am his mate," you told her through clenched teeth as Edward ran his nose along your cheek. It was taking all his will power to stay by your side. Bella's scent mixed with yours had the monster he had hoped would stay locked away pleading to drain the human of her blood, much as it when he'd first met her.
         Bella tried to argue, but the leaders weren't having it as Aro questioned what to do. Not that Edward heard much other than the dozens of thoughts invading his head. You placed a calming hand on his cheek, soothing him. Only then did Edward tune back into the conversation. "Edward, you should go." He blinked in surprise.
         "My father and uncles are going to rule that Isabella must be turned or killed. I know her blood is calling to you and I would never want you to do something you're uncomfortable with. I know you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you hurt the human you've been fighting so hard to protect. So go. I'll find you after I feed."  Edward nodded stiffly. He didn't want to leave your side, but he knew you were right. He would regret it if he drained Bella now. So, he followed after Bella and Alice until you were finished.
         No sooner were the three alone did Bella round on Edward. "How could you do this?!" she asked, nearly shrieking at him. Alice held her arm to prevent her from getting too close to Edward. "That thing is a monster! Not your mate!" Edward growled as he used every ounce of self control not to launch himself at Bella.    
         "Bella, stop," Alice pleaded before turning her eyes to Edward, "This is what happened in my vision. I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't know they were your mate or we wouldn't have come." Edward arched a brow. Alice replayed her vision for him in her mind and he sighed. He understood why she had, but she hadn't needed to bring Bella.
         "This is ridiculous. Edward, come back to Forks with us. You belong with your family. With me. Isn't that what you wanted? Isn't that why you came here to have them destroy you? Because of me? Well, I'm alive. You don't have to change for me. You will for that…Y/N person." The sound of your name from her lips made Edward's whole body stiffen. He didn't like the venom in her tone.
         Bella attempted to come closer and put a hand on his cheek. Once more, her scent filled his senses and he backed away. "Bella, I wouldn't. Please, just listen to me. Edward isn't as in control as he usually is. To his true nature, you are a threat to his mate. If you keep pushing, it will not end well. Please."
         Edward was thankful for Alice's intervention. She was at least trying. It didn't stop anything though. When the doors opened to reveal you alongside Felix and Demetri once more, Bella's hand was still outstretched toward Edward. Your eyes flickered to Edward for a brief second, assessing the situation before you sighed.
         "Isabella Swan, I would suggest you stop trying my patience. I have warned you once. Do not make me tell you again. Keep your hands off my mate." Since feeding, you were in a bit more control than before, but that didn't mean you had to like it. You flashed to Edward's side, enveloping him in the serenity he needed in that moment.
         "Edward, calm. The Masters have made their decision. Isabella is to be turned within a year or she will be killed. No exceptions. I will personally be going to Forks at a later date to see that their orders are followed." You cut your eyes back to Bella and Alice. "Miss Cullen, I suggest you sit between these two on your way home."
         "Home?" Edward asked. You faced him again and nodded. "Yes. Home. You need to at least talk to your family about this. About us. They will understand, but it would be unfair to them to say nothing." Edward reluctantly nodded. He didn't want to be apart from you, but knew you were right.
         "Come with me?" You laughed slightly but before you could reply, Bella stupidly piped up. "I don't think that's a good idea." You swung your eyes to her once more, making her shrink back a bit for once. "I-I mean, you don't want to put those innocent people at risk."
         "I assure you that I am in control. However, I have duties here." Bella scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Control? You nearly killed me." You arched a brow, unimpressed by her little tantrum. "Believe me, Miss Swan, if I truly wanted to kill you, you would already be dead. Now, you are testing my already limited patience. I suggest you close that obnoxious mouth of yours before I do it for you, my father's ruling be damned."
         Felix and Demetri snickered, prompting Bella into a fit of anger. "See? Do you see how easily they talk about killing innocent people?! They are monsters, Edward! All of them!" Felix and Demetri stiffened but could do nothing but watch as you held Edward back. He had finally snapped.
         All those months of her blood calling to him. All that time, knowing that he could absolutely drain her dry and it would be the best meal he'd ever tasted. All the days of him pushing his self-control to the limit had finally done him in. His control over the monster that resided inside him was breaking at the thought of someone insulting his mate. Even Felix wouldn't be able to hold Edward back, so it was no surprise when Edward broke free of you and had his hand around Bella's throat.
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 *one year later*
         Edward gripped your hand tightly as he opened the door to the house he'd once called home. To his surprise, he wasn't greeted by Carlisle, Esme, or one of his siblings. He felt you stiffen against him. "Hello," he greeted. Bella glared daggers at you, her own now topaz eyes filled with fire. Even now, though she understood the difference between singers and mates, she hated you for taking Edward.
         When Edward had finally snapped that day in Volterra, it had taken you, Demetri, Felix, and Alec to pry him away from Bella. Even then, it was too late. The process had already begun. Bella was turning and there would be no stopping it this time. Alice escorted out of Volterra after the change was complete. You hadn't seen them since.
         "What are you doing here?" she snapped. You arched a brow. "I've come to meet my future in-laws. Edward misses his family." She opened her mouth to protest, but Jasper appeared behind her with a rare smile on his face. Edward returned the grin and pulled his brother to him. The rest of the Cullens weren't far behind.
         After greeting Edward warmly, all the topaz eyes of the Olympic Coven turned to you. Esme was the first to greet you with a smile. "This is Y/N…my mate." The rest of the family began to greet you much in the same manner they had greeted their son/brother.
         Later on that night, Carlisle, Edward, and you retired to Carlisle's home office. For a moment, Carlisle said nothing and Edward did his best not to read his mind. Carlisle's eyes moved between you and Edward a few times before he finally spoke. "Are you happy? I mean…truly happy?" Edward smiled. "I am. For once, I really am. No torturous existence. I still feel the same, but happier and stronger. This was my decision. I promise." Carlisle nodded and expressed his approval. "That's all I ever wanted for you." Edward turned to you and smiled when your eyes met his newly red ones.
(a/n: I hope you like it!)
Tagging people who requested part 2: @lopezbr210 @a-bi-who-just-wants-sweaters @imdoingathingmom​ @kajikani​ @truly-insatiable​ @yrawn​ @vanteguccir​ 
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maybe-theres-hope · 3 years
Text
Tarlos ficlet - “You Like My Costume?”
For all y'all firefighter!Carlos babes :) 
@howtosingit @pragmaticoptimist34 and anyone else who likes this kind of thing <3
1.6k | ao3
TK is actually kind of bummed to be working on Halloween.
Sure, it’s not like he has to work Thanksgiving this year--he somehow finagled the day off and he has yet to tell Carlos that he will be making a surprise visit to the ranch for dinner and he absolutely can’t wait to see his fiancé’s face when he walks in--but he was kind of looking forward to doing the cutesy couple’s costume thing. He’s a sucker for that kind of thing, and he’s bummed, okay?
They’re out on a call that’s frankly more of a time waster than anything else since the fourteen year old in question wasn’t actually suffering from alcohol poisoning but rather he’d yarfed because his friends had dared him to drink a teaspoon of dish soap--honestly, kids these days--so things are looking pretty mellow so far for the evening. He half expected full-moon level type calls tonight but in all honesty he’s been kind of bored. Which really makes it doubly crappy to be working. There’s not even any excitement. 
“At least we’re off at 11, you’ll get to see the last of the trick-or-treaters,” Nancy says with a smirk. 
“Who trick-or-treats at 11 p.m.?” he asks. “By then it’ll just be the dumb teenagers TP-ing old people’s houses and that’s if anyone actually does that anymore.”
“What, you’re too old and married for those kinds of shenanigans?”
“Screw you, I’m not old, and I’m not married yet,” he quips back at her.
“Mmmhmm. Coulda fooled me.” She’s smiling her mischievous smile, the one she gets when she’s contemplating how to jump-scare him in the bunk room in the middle of the night because one time he yelped in such a high-pitch that she nearly peed herself laughing, and she’s been trying to recreate it ever since. 
“Hey, the thrill is not gone, I can promise you that.” Now it’s his turn to smirk back at her.
“Ugh ugh, okay, don’t wanna hear about it.” She waves her hands in front of her face like she’s shooing away fog. “And TK? I mean that. Whatever it is you’re going to be doing tonight, I never wanna hear about it, okay? Just...please. Keep it in the bedroom. Everyone’s going to be making enough assumptions as it is.”
He turns to look at her from the driver’s seat, puzzled. “What do you mean, tonight? What’s so special about tonight and why are people making assumptions? Carlos had to work until half an hour ago anyway, so we’re probably both going to just pass out when I get home. Also, what do you mean ‘assumptions’?”
She just smiles at him again. “Just drive, Strand.”
When he pulls the rig into the bay at ten minutes past eleven, TK just wants to shower and collapse. Boredom held out for only so long before giving into three separate calls where the patient coded on the backboard. He’s tired, he’s hungry, and he feels like he will never be clean of all the sweat. His fingers are aching and his shoulders are sore. He’s never been more ready to just slip into their sheets at home and pass into blissful oblivion. He can’t even make himself look up from the floor as he walks toward the locker room. 
“Hey TK! Why don’t you say hi to the new probie?” Mateo’s voice is nearly a giggle, and it actually causes TK to lift his head. With great effort. 
“Huh? We have a new probie? Whose first shift is on Halloween? Who did he piss off to manage that?” TK asks, following Mateo through the kitchen.
It’s Paul who answers from where he’s leaning against the archway leading back into the bay where the ladder truck is parked. “No one. You might be a little peeved that he took your old turnout gear, but I really, really doubt that.”
“What?” Now TK is just thoroughly confused. 
“Yeah,” Marjan says when he rounds the corner, “and it doesn’t fit him all that well, but I also highly doubt you’ll be upset about that either.” She’s practically glowing with mirth. 
“Okaaaay...what’s with everyone? Is this some kind of Halloween prank? Is someone going to jump out and scare me?”
“Trust me, it won’t scare you. Just...don’t scar the rest of us once you see it. Behave yourself until you get home,” is Nancy’s last line before she turns and practically runs up the stairs. 
TK darts his gaze around to the rest of them, brow furrowing. 
“Just go, man. We’ve been keeping this from you for like a week and we want to see the fruits of our labor,” Mateo says, shoving at TK’s shoulder so that he walks toward the ladder truck.
Still confused and slightly nervous, TK rounds the back of the truck and looks around to see what it is they’ve conjured up to prank him with. He scans the floor, wondering if someone in a scary mask will slide out from under the truck. He moves around to the other side while still in the team’s line of sight, looking back at them for some kind of indication that he’s on the right track. Marjan points subtly up and he follows with his gaze. 
His mouth goes instantly dry and his breath stops. He might gasp, but he can’t be sure.
“Hi babe. Happy Halloween,” Carlos croons in a low voice, though he’s blushing slightly which removes some of the effect. 
TK can only stare. His old turnout gear, indeed.
His fiancé his perched on top of the truck, casually leaned against the ladder and looking down on him. His hips, clad in baggy pants only held up by bright suspenders are slipped forward just so, inviting TK’s eyes to travel up the long line of his glorious body. The AFD t-shirt is straining at the seams, defining every muscle in his abs and pecs, the suspenders caressing against the hard planes of his chest, peeking out from the turnout coat hanging open. 
When Carlos notices where TK’s eyes have gone, he lifts himself out of his ridiculously sexy lean to stand and shrug out of the coat. How on earth anyone can make the removing of standard-issue PPE look so goddamned alluring, TK will never know. The movement causes Carlos’ shoulders to flex, and the cotton of the t-shirt nearly gives out. TK catches a peek of his own name in bright orange lettering across the back of the coat before it’s casually flipped over one massive shoulder, clinging to one finger. 
“I...holy shit,” is all he can say. He has been robbed of his entire vocabulary. He can hear his team snickering at him from the kitchen, but he pays them no mind. The view from here is much better. 
Carlos blushes a bit more, and tosses the coat down to TK, who catches it dazedly. Then, he watches as his absolutely gorgeous fiancé nimbly climbs down the footholds on the side of the truck like he’s done it a thousand times before, and between drooling and sucking in subtle breaths of air TK’s eyes are drawn directly to his ass. It’s a marvelous sight. 
Dropping down lightly onto the floor with a tiny bounce in his step, Carlos turns to face TK in all his glory. TK’s gaze once again runs the gambit from his shoulders down his torso, right down to his own spare pair of boots. 
Carlos saunters closer, knowing full well what he’s doing and loving every minute of it, the bastard. “So, babe,” he says in that same low voice, closer this time. “You like my costume?”
TK still can’t really form words. He might stutter a bit, but he’ll deny it later.
Carlos leans in close--presumably to deter their audience from hearing his next words, which are whispered directly into TK’s ear. 
“I chose to dress up as your secret fantasy,” he says, his lips caressing the shell of TK’s ear. He shivers, though from the words or the touch or the outfit or all of the above, TK can’t say. The next words he hears don’t help matters much.
“What do you say I rescue you from work? Take you home and give you some mouth-to-mouth?” 
TK can hear the desire behind the words, but he can also hear the tiniest giggle at the blatant dirty talk that Carlos actually doesn’t do that much of, and it makes his heart melt. This man is everything.
When he regains some coherency, TK decides to give back as much as he’s gotten. He runs his hands down Carlos’ torso, nearly dropping one suspender completely off his shoulder with his vigor in grabbing a handful of pectoral muscle. 
He leans back in and says into Carlos’ ear, “Well, have you still got your uniform in your car? It might be a bit big on me, but I think I’d look good in nothing but your utility belt. Should I handcuff you to the bed, firefighter Reyes?”
He leans back just enough to catch Carlos scrunching his eyes shut and biting his lip--desire written into every line of his face--and suddenly remembers their audience. This is not a free show, no matter how much help they provided Carlos in surprising TK with this. “Take me home, now.”
“You got it, babe.” With that, Carlos bends down, grabs TK by the waist, and lifts him like he weighs nothing. TK is thrown over his shoulder in a full fireman’s carry to the tune of his team, his friends, whistling and catcalling as he’s carried off to Carlos’ car. 
Yeah, this is a good Halloween. Maybe the best one yet. 
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Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime (Belle) Novel | English Translation | Chapter 6
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**This is a machine translation. I put it together by extracting text page-by-page from a .pdf version of the Japanese novel, and running it through Google translate. I have only minorly edited some of the more confusing lines to make it more read-able. It is still a very rough translation, but it’s good enough to understand what’s going on. If there is anyone out there who wants to properly translate the novel, I am more than happy to edit it, if you’ll contact me.**
———————————————
Chapter 6: Encounter
The crescent moon shining on the equator moves and brings darkness to the world of "U". In the city of "U" that continues like a big river, Az and others were overflowing more than usual today. There is a mysterious feeling of exhilaration here and there, and it seems that everyone is restless. Countless net news is broadcast in various languages. "... Soon, at 20:25 standard time on 'U', Belle's biggest live concert will take place here at 'U's spherical stadium."
The city of "U" is basically a "skyscraper" and a "park."
It consists of repeating two types of modules, "(Park)". However, there are some other special modules. One of them is a spherical module called "Stadium". "..... The number of Az that can watch at the same time in the world is said to be 100 million or 200 million, which is unusual for a newcomer who appeared within 6 months ..."
As you approach the spherical stadium, you can see that many small units are gathered together to form a sphere. It passes through the gaps of each unit and enters the inside. Each unit has multiple windows. The shape of the window matches the shape of the screen of the smartphone, and you can see Az in it. That is the audience seat of this spherical stadium.
A myriad of Az are waiting for the start of the live. The start time has come. The space of the wide sphere gradually darkens with the driving sound. The units are getting closer to each other and the gap is narrowing. Eventually, a roaring sound was heard. The gap between the units was completely closed, and the space was surrounded by darkness. A red line like the equator emerges in the darkness. It's the beginning of the live. Music starts. A huge drop of water can be seen floating in the center of the space. In front of this mysterious sight, the audience grabbed a sight of what was about to begin.
The huge water droplets began to emit light from the inside, shaking the surface with surface tension. A number of glittering lights are generated and are stored in water droplets. Eventually, the water droplets filled with light burst like a big bang. When a large amount of droplets diffuse into the space, a mysterious object that reflects light appears behind it. A huge splash with a dozen meters, assembled from delicate beads.
At the tip of the dress is Belle, me.
"Woooooooooo ...!"
The cheers of Az and others like the rumbling of the ground boiled up. Mosaic-like light is emitted from the countless windows of the audience seats. In response to the light, the color of the beads that make up the dress changes in a complex way. These are special beads whose brilliance changes depending on the light. It's the best outfit, coordinated by the best designers, from headdresses to high heels. I swam in the space, changing to various colors in response to the light. The parts of the huge dress are separated like a multi-stage rocket. In the meantime, it will be separated. The beads swirled like the swell of the sea, transforming into a virtual fluctuation of the sea surface.
Three whales with headphones appear there and slowly snuggle up to me in the center. The whales are top-notch dancers hired for this concert. When one of the whales hits the surface of the sea with its tail fin to the music, a beautiful wave appears. The crest has spread. Another one also hits the surface of the sea. The ripples overlapped. The other one blew up the tide from his nose. Next is my turn. Like the whale I mentioned earlier, I surrendered myself to music, twisted my body, and hit the surface of the sea. Ripples spread beautifully. I twist my body again and hit the surface of the sea, ripples piled up. And, like the squirting of a baby whale, I rushed out of the sea. The whales come in again and swim and dance in the calculated combination. I sing at the center. The sparkling flash of the audience seats reaches the dress, changing the color of the beads one after another. What a beauty. The colors that would never appear without each of the light from the windows of smartphones are a collaboration between me, the designer, and the audience. And again, it's a one-time art that can never be reproduced in the digital world where reproduction is natural. I finished singing proudly.
"Ooooooooooooooooo!"
The roaring cheers of Az and others shook the spherical stadium. The flashes in the audience seats disappear all at once, returning to the darkness of the equator. The prelude of the second song begins, and the next set of graphical steel frames slides from above and below. During the blackout, the producer of this live, Hiro-chan’s Az, slipped in.
"Belle is the best. I'll go next."
"Yes."
Hiro-chan’s Az threw a piece of cloth in her hand. It fluttered around my body and turned into a patchwork dress. This is also the work of the same designer as the bead dress, and is woven with fibers that change when exposed to light. Suddenly, there was a strange noise.
"ah…"
The gap between the rugged stadium and the spherical stadium opens a little.
"Who? You opened the door without permission!" Hiro-chan’s Az yells.
Someone invaded through a small gap in the unit. A lone Az at the beginning.
And then a group of Az. They are moving at high speed just past the audience unit. I can tell that the audience in the window is upset by this happening.
Hiro-chan’s Az is very angry. "Get out of here, asshole!”
The lone Az appears to be escaping from the group chasing him.
"Is he being chased?"
They go around the perimeter along the equator of the spherical stadium. The group of chasers was divided into two.
"Jeeze! What is that guy?" Hiro-chan’s Az looks up in the air and asks. Avatars all over the world instantly raise chat balloons:
《Dreki》
《Long》 《continuar》 《naga》 《Dragon》 《lass》
《Ejderha》
"Dragon?"
<<It's an ugly monster-type Az that lives in “U.”>>
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Two protruding horns. Long nose. Sharp fangs and claws. The characteristic is exactly the dragon itself, and the impression is like a violent beast. Still, the crimson cloak with a raised collar and the white frills peeking through the sleeves of the suit reminded me of something like a nobleman. A mysterious balance in which this opposite nature coexists. The thin, sharp look that I could see in the gaps between his long, curly hair seemed mysterious to me. On the other hand, all his chasers have the unified appearance of a white battle suit with a red line. It looks like a group of justice heroes. The dragon flipped the cloak and I thought that he had soared, but then he twisted and plummeted. With a tricky move, he tossed the chase and swung it off in a blink of an eye, and this time he headed for the other group, which was split into two. Really. The stone mask Az, who leads the fist chaser group, thrusts in without fear. The two collided violently at the front. A fierce spark is scattered. The dragon extended his fist at a speed that my eyes couldn't follow. The chasers flew like pebbles. As it was, it emitted light like glitter and ice crystals, and stopped moving. The data was corrupted by too much blow and it froze.
I watched the dragon in a daze.
"Amazing…"
"What is he?" When Hiro-chan’s Az asked, the balloons answered immediately.
<<A few months ago, he suddenly appeared in the martial arts hall of "U" "He’s been breaking the record of consecutive wins since then" "But he has the worst fighting style">>
"How?"
When Ryu landed on the unit on the wall and turned around, he attacked the other group that he had just shaken off. He does not give them a chance to escape, and defeats them one after another with a quick move. Iconography of crystals, showing freezes, floats here and there.
《Spoil the game》 《Attack until the data is corrupted and unusable》 《It's like trying to get rid of my anger》 I was stunned and stared at the dragon without words.
"Ah..”
I noticed a lot of patterns on his tattered back.
"That is……?"
<< This is a nasty guy who is like the bruises on his back >> Adds a balloon. I saw it to make sure.
"There are so many bruises ..."
The group of chasers is increasing in number before I know it. When the Az of the dreadlocks led by him points to go, more than 10 members scream and head for Dragon all at once. It is one versus ten, but he heads for the fight without hesitation. The dragon rolled out his knife at a blazing speed. The chasers are beaten one after another.
"Waaaaaah!”
Even the last one - bang, smashed down in a breath. The dreadlocks Az was shocked to see that his allies were wiped out in an instant. While making a strange voice, "Woooooo!", He headed for the dragon in the dark clouds. However, immediately after that, Dragon knee-kicked him in the face. Then the upper combo is decided. The dreadlocks Az was blown off.
Hiro-chan’s Az listens with interest. "Who is chasing him?"
《The Justices》
"Justice?"
<<They insist on keeping the justice and order of U.>>
There are Az looking down from a distance. Like the Stone Mask Az and Dreadlocks Az, they were the executives of the Justice Corps. They are strong people who seem to be allies of justice. Half are female. Hiro-chan’s Az made a convincing voice when she saw them.
"Hmm. That's why they look like heroes."
A large number of the justice corps surround the dragon with various weapons such as spears, hammers, and blue swords. The members screamed and attacked all at once. It seems that there is no chance for the dragon to win. The dragon slowly crossed his hands. And he slashed the space at a tremendous speed. He slashed the men as if he were really manipulating a sword. A dense army corps bursts out all at once. "Waaaah!”
At the same time, it gave off a glittering and crystal-like light. The overwhelming strength of the crowd is breathtaking. The dragon turned his back and slowly got up. Justice corps executives were stunned and said, "What a terrible thing ...!"
"What can they do if you hurt them that much?"
"Is it okay that you’re the only one who is not wounded?” With that as a trigger, some spectator Az and others booed.
"That's right!" "You messed up Belle's concert!" "How will you take responsibility?” The voices eventually spread throughout the spherical stadium.
"Apologize to Belle!" "Give us back the time you wasted!" "Get out of here!" "Get out!" I looked around the stadium in a kind of strange atmosphere. Most of the Az on the spot are throwing a fierce boo like a rumbling at just one person. A dragon standing alone in the center. The bruise on his back seemed to me like a wound that had been hit by countless boos. I asked him unintentionally.
"You…"
The dragon turned around slowly and looked at me with a keen eye.
[............]
"Who are you..…?"
I asked unquestioned questions at will. Then the dragon opened his mouth for the first time. It was a muffled voice, like a filter.
"...Don’t look.”
"Huh?"
"Don’t look at me."
The dragon's gaze peeking through his curly hair indicates refusal. I can't hear any more.
At that time, there was a sharp voice that echoed in the spherical stadium.
“Dragon!!”
A man is standing. "I can't forgive you anymore ... I can't forgive you! If I don't defeat the dragon, I can't keep the peace of 'U'!"
"Is that the leader?" Asked Hiro-chan’s Az.
<<Yes. He is Justine>>
It was a blue-eyed Az with blonde hair. His toned, muscular, majestic body reminded me of strength and courage, and the white battle suit that wrapped around him represented his noble personality. He deserves to be called a hero, a mighty man, an ally of justice, a savior.
Justine raised his right arm and pointed to the coat of arms on his wrist. "Look!"
The Metamorphose coat of arms was wrapped in light and became huge, transforming into a winged metal lion head. A jewel-like lens body pops out from the lion's mouth by bolt action. It's like a cannon. Justine raises the gun and shows it off.
"This is the true light that protects the justice and order of 'U'! We will definitely unveil the evil dragon!" He declared in a voice that pervaded the entire "U". Then, banners with the names of the companies came flying one after another and piled up behind him. It seems that these supporting companies support his activities. Hiro-chan’s Az pointed with her eyes rounded.
"Look, the number of sponsor logos!"
"What is Unveil?"
To my question, Hiro-chan’s Az answered "Unveil" with the gesture of Peek-a-boo. Justine holds his right hand to aim at him, and the inside of his lens body shimmers like a mosaic. The particles focused and emitted a green light. Pow! The light cut through the darkness and headed straight toward the dragon. The dragon barely avoids the light. The particles focused again on Justine's right hand and fired two shots in quick succession. The dragon kept a sufficient distance and avoided it carefully. It seems that he is very cautious about this unknown light. "Nuu ..." Justin groaned, lowering his right hand. A long, thin light that moves far away. There is too much distance to hit Dragon.
He signaled, "Door!" In response, the justice executives scattered in all directions. Soon, the gap between the unit and the unit begins to move, and the interval narrows.
"Eh ...?" As it goes on, the brightness disappears. The spherical stadium was engulfed in darkness, with a completely closed sound. Many searchlights owned by the executives turned on all at once. It illuminates a dragon at one point in the center of intersection.
"You can't run away anymore, dragon! I'll uncover your origin right here, you ugly thing!"
Justine's speech wowed the audience.
"Ooooooooooo!"
The field is in full favor of Justine. Hiro-chan’s Az also goes along.
"Good, do it ~~!"
Origin? Uncover? Can he do that? I wondered. Justine said earlier, "The true light that protects the justice and order of 'U'(that green light) will surely unveil the evil dragon." The meaning may be "to clarify who the real person who controls the dragon is.” It means that there is no privacy that should be equally protected by the security of "U". I understood that was what he meant by "unveiling." If it's aimed at the dragon, which is hated by all over the world, everyone will be convinced it’s the right thing to do. But what if I was in his position?
Then, the story is different. I don't want to be unveiled. Anyone wouldn’t. Shouldn't that be the case? Shouldn't security equality be maintained? Executives approach the dragon with a searchlight. The dragon blocks the light with his hands, as if he hates the dazzling lights. However, the executives continue to shine a strong light without mercy. The dragon moves because of the glare, looks like he can't get rid of it. Justine aims carefully from a distance. The searchlight is caught. It seems very easy to shed light on the dragon that has stopped moving. Kuun ……, and the inside of the gun lens shines brilliantly, and the light is focused.
"Get him!!” Hiro-chan’s Az screams with excitement. Next to that, I kept staring at the dragon.
[.............]
The dragon looked up at me as if he had noticed me. His eyes met mine and my heart pulsated.
"Huh?"
From the narrow center of the searchlight, the dragon jumped towards us. The search light suddenly loses sight of the dragon and sways in a confused manner.
"Uh!"
Once Justine lowered his gun in the situation, but quickly repositioned it, he fired two consecutive shots. However, passing through it, the dragon rises at high speed and heads straight toward us.
"Ahhhhh!"
I and Hiro-chan’s Az are upset by the oppressive feeling and cannot move. The dragon approaches at a tremendous speed. Collide!
"Kyaaaa!" We screamed. But the dragon barely slipped beside us. A violent gust of wind occurs with a slight delay. The dragon rose as it was, turned around, and landed on the steel frame of the set. Hiro-chan’s Az was angry and looked up. "You’ve got to be kidding me, you idiot! What if Belle had been injured?"
Dragon approaches us again. "Ah!" The dragon rubbed right next to Hiro-chan’s Az and I, who were shrinking tightly, at a tremendous speed. His goal is the executives of the Justice Corps.
"Waaaaah!” The executives screamed, throwing out searchlights and escaping in all directions. As soon as the dragon did not let them escape, he swung a steel frame over his head and approached.
The light of the searchlight went out, and the area was surrounded by darkness again.
Only the cruel hitting sound and the painful screams of the executives echoed there. What's happening in the dark? Invisible horror dominated the field. Justine shouted, unbearably. "Open the door ..., open the door!"
A gap in the spherical stadium opens to follow the instructions. When it got brighter, I saw the sad appearance of the executives who were knocked down and couldn't move. How many Az did the dragon beat in this short time? It was overwhelming and strong. Justine stepped back, stiffening his face.
"This ... this shouldn't be allowed ...!"
The dragon flew with recoil when he released the steel frame he had in his hand. I look up at him with my eyes. Justine shouted to swear revenge.
"I will be sure to unveil you!"
As if he couldn't hear such a voice, the dragon went out of the stadium through the gap between the units on the ceiling and disappeared somewhere. I kept looking at the empty space where he had disappeared into.
"Who are you……?"
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Dcx2NedPVBEdbfQaU-WC0pJMRmn20ASn7HSC0KY9R7E/edit?usp=sharing ~ Google Doc of the English-translated novel.
ryuutosobakasuhime.wordpress.com ~ English fan-site for Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime where translations, scans, and other content is posted.
80 notes · View notes
one-boring-person · 3 years
Text
The Good Old Days.
John Rambo (Post-Rambo III) x reader
Warnings: implied death, implied injury, heavily implied sexual themes, possible swearing? Alcohol consumption (moderate)
Context: inside John's head.
A/n: so recently, I saw @slystallone 's post (Here) about a deleted scene from Rambo, and this idea (or at least the first part) came to mind, so I have them to thank for the inspiration! (Also, if you're as obsessed as I am with Sylvester Stallone content, check out their blog, it's amazing!)
Masterlist
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His eyes scan idly around the room, taking in the cheerful faces of young people letting loose, watching as many of them move together on the dancefloor, keeping in time with the sappy music playing overhead. Throughout the room, glasses are clinked together, liquids in a multitude of different colours sloshing in their containers as the owners of said drinks swallow down their beverages, the strong odour of alcohol rife in the air. Sweat mingles with this, as well as heady cologne and perfumes, creating the perfect odour of youthful spirit, something he has long since forgotten. Around him, he can see a fair few couples together: one in a booth in the corner, one right in the centre of the dancefloor, and one to his left, each of them enjoying each other's company far more explicitly than the rest of the pairings in the bar.
It should, in theory, be an enjoyable environment, being around hordes of people who are having a good time, but John can't help the discomfort playing in his mind. Something about the strong smells, the heaving throng of people, the lack of clear vision of anywhere fixed in the room and the cacophony of raucous noise doesn't sit right with him, his finely tuned senses prickling at everything. Dimly, he's aware of fighting back flashes of memory that spring, unbidden, to mind, trying to ignore the familiar faces branding his conscience. A lack of control in an environment, particularly one like this, has long since made itself known as a trigger of the thoughts he'd rather forget.
Just as he goes to dwell on these, he's interrupted by a familiar voice, one that grounds him, reassures him.
"John! Sorry I took so long, some kids were taking their time." (Y/n) apologises as she drops into the bar stool beside him, taking her drink back from him.
"Don't worry about it." He murmurs back, twisting the neck of his soda bottle in his hand (he finds alcohol takes away from his sense of control), flicking some hair from his face.
Smiling at him, (Y/n) takes a sip of her drink, turning to face the dancers as she sits with him, the two quite used to sitting in companionable silence. 
After a little while, she finishes her drink and sits back against the counter, only to spring up again when she hears the music overhead change, a wide grin on her face. Bouncing to her feet, she turns to John, expression imploring him.
"I love this song! Remember it? From way back when?" She smiles at the memory, a good one through all the bad ones, "We used to dance to this."
John can't help the small smile playing at his own lips as he is reminded of how they'd danced a couple of times, back on his father's ranch.
"I remember." He agrees, watching her.
"Come on, dance with me now!" (Y/n) chuckles, moving her body in the bare impression of a dance move.
"No, I'm good." John declines initially, waving her off politely.
"Aw, come on! It'll be fun! Just like the good old days!" She pleads with him, reaching out to take one of his hands, very lightly jerking on it as he tries to ignore the butterflies rising at her touch.
"I'm not sure…" 
"Please? Just one song?" She gives him a look, one he has memorized. It tells him she wants him to join her, but that she won't be upset if he doesn't, that she'll understand. She always does.
Eventually, it's what causes him to cave in.
Sighing, he climbs to his feet, allowing her to pull him into the crowd, the veteran pushing down the distrust brewing inside him from the closeness of the people around him, instead focusing on the feeling of her hand on his, grounding himself. As she finds a good spot on the dancefloor, (Y/n) turns back around to face him, face light and happy as she starts to dance, just how they used to. Copying her, John tries to forget the awkward feeling, finding it hard to make contact with the childhood memories that would've helped him, his expression tightening as he moves. 
After a moment, (Y/n) seems to notice this, stepping forwards into his space as she looks up at him with a curious look, silently asking for permission as her hands hover over his shoulders. Nodding, he bites back the sigh threatening to leave him as her hands close ever so gently around him, his own coming up to lightly grip her waist, enjoying the feeling of her body in his grasp. Leaning into his touch, (Y/n) sways them in time to the music, her expression softening as the tempo of the music does, the two of them drifting closer as they move together. Her scent is in his nostrils, somehow discernible through the sweat and alcohol around him, calming him as he leans in further, wrapping his arms more firmly around her body. Carefully, he pulls her into him, feeling her softer curves against his hard muscles, his hands splaying at her back, his nose soon finding her hair as he buries his face in it. She wraps her own arms around his neck, delicately threading her fingers into his hair, stroking through the strands soothingly as she presses her head into his chest. 
As they hold each other, it's as if the world around them has disappeared, leaving them in a bubble of security, just holding each other as they used to, before touch meant more than an idle gesture. It means so much more now, particularly for them.
After a moment, she pulls her head back a little, looking up into his face, eyes searching his, her lips parted as she regards him. They're close, so close he can feel her every breath against his heated skin, his gaze flicking down to stray over her lips as he fights the urge to simply bend down and close the gap between them, and give in to every desire he's repressed for years now. Naturally, she notices this and smiles, reassuringly this time, before she leans up and presses her lips to his. 
Instantly, they find a rhythm, lips smoothing against each other with soft fervour as hands start to pull each other closer together. John runs one hand down to her lower back, splaying his fingers over the curve of her ass, using the grip to pull her more tightly into him, enjoying the feeling of her body against his, the noises she lets out only serving to intensify his feeling for her. (Y/n) gently tugs on his hair, her other hand moving to push up under his shirt, feeling over his tense muscles, arching her body into him as he lightly licks at her lips. Obediently, she allows him access, and his tongue freely explores her mouth, sliding wetly alongside her's, her moans swallowed by him as he rocks his hips against her. Idly, the hand she had pushed up his shirt starts to trail downwards, settling over his crotch.
With a jerk, he breaks free from the kiss, his eyes finally flying open as he snaps upright in the rickety bed. 
Breathing hard, he scans the room, instantly remembering where he is, the knowledge calming him slightly as he wipes sweat from his forehead. Desire and longing course through him, his eyes straying over to find the figure lying beside him, her body left exposed by the thin sheet. 
In the dim light from the moon outside, (Y/n)'s sleeping form appears peaceful, her muscles totally relaxed, allowing for a less guarded look to cross her face, the hard line of her brow and lips softened until she appears more angelic. In the many times they'd slept on the same room, or same bed, John can not remember ever seeing her quite so relaxed, not after they got into the military anyway.
They'd met as teenagers, when she'd come to work for his father on his ranch. During their time working together the two had become fast friends, eventually managing to do most things together, until they both decided to join the military. She'd gone into the airforce, before eventually getting into another branch of the Special Forces, where she faced a similar abrupt finish to her career as he did, losing all of her team to a poorly planned stealth mission, which some corrupt colonel in the higher positions had instructed them to do. After this point, they miraculously found each other again on the long road to a small town called Hope, where things went awry. Neither wanted to leave the other, and so they stuck by each other, helping each other out on the bloody road that came after the events of Hope, leading them to this point. 
Unsurprisingly, John had soon realised that his feelings for the hardened veteran were no longer as innocent as he would've liked to keep them. Somewhere along the way, through gunfights fought back-to-back, mindless races through the sweltering jungle to avoid pursuers behind them, bandaging each other's wounds at the dead of night with only a dull campfire to light their work, and the calmer, soft moments between them, where they both overcame (to a certain extent) the mindless grief hounding them together, John had found that he and fallen for his partner. She'd always been there, back when things had gone to hell in Hope, when Co had been shot, and when Trautman had needed rescuing, (Y/n) had been by his side, fighting his battle with him, because "his battle is her battle now, they are partners after all". She meant everything to him, and he'd kill for her. He HAS killed for her.
At times, he'd played with the idea of telling her his feelings, of confessing to her and hoping things would be ok, but he had never gone through with it. Something always stops him, and that both irritates and relieves him. He has never quite been able to put a finger on what it is, but now, watching her sleep so peacefully, he realizes what it is.
He never wants to lose her friendship, ever, and he's afraid he'll ruin what they've got if he says anything. So he stays silent, keeping his thoughts to himself, lifting a hand to lightly ghost it over her side, thankful that she's so tired her instinctive alertness has dimmed down enough for him to gently touch her without her realising. He never places his hand down, only tracing his fingers over her, keeping the touch gentle and friendly, should she wake. It would be so easy just to pull her body into his, to hold her tightly against his chest and bury his face in her soft hair,  but he restrains himself, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.
Groaning, he rolls onto his back, knowing now that sleep won't come again tonight, especially not with his thoughts so high-strung and confused, unless he manages to relax properly again.
Oddly enough, his reprieve comes to him in a surprising, but not at all unwelcome manner: mumbling in her sleep, (Y/n) turns over, her hands reaching out to find something, anything, latching onto him as they find him. Gently, she pulls herself into him, her head pressing into the side of his chest as her hand rests over his heart, his pulse pounding under her touch. 
Eyes wide, John gingerly wraps his arm around her, finding comfort in the solid feeling of her body in his grip, sleep coming back to him now as he buries his face in her hair, breathing in her familiar scent. He could get used to this, but he knows that he never will, not as long as he wants his friendship to last.
Just as he goes to drift off, he hears (Y/n) sigh one thing, her voice a bare whisper, if slightly more coherent than it should be for someone fast asleep:
""Wish you knew how I feel about you." 
Part Two
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yandere-sins · 3 years
Text
The Fox Wedding - Prologue II
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Summary: You are to marry the fox spirit Kita Shinsuke after you accidentally agreed to become his wife by signing the deed to your new home. A contract is a contract, he says, but is there more to this marriage than you know? Will you be whisked away by one of the foxy twins instead, or have to marry Kita after all? Can you be with a creature that only seems tender on the surface, or will you try to run even if it might cost you your life? Choose your route carefully, you never know what these foxes are up to!
Characters: Kitsune!Kita Shinsuke, Kitsune!Miya Atsumu, Kitsune!Miya Osamu, Kitsune!Suna Rintarou, afab!Reader
Rating: Explicit Warnings for this chapter: Yandere, Kidnapping, Forced/Unhealthy Relationship, Cursing
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“I think…” Atsumu spoke out loud, having watched the spectacle for a while now. His eyes were fixated on the door to the underground bunker, and a smile played around his lips as he watched Kita leaving, together with Suna, who stood guard for the longest time. From their place on top of one of the half torn-down rooftops of the abandoned village, Atsumu could overview everything, even the celebrations held in the main hall, lights, and laughter reaching his twitching ears even through the magically restored sliding doors. 
“You think…?” Osamu yawned next to him, not bothering with bringing a hand to his mouth, still unused to the human customs they were forced to uphold. He, at least, didn’t like it, though Osamu still was better in trying to conform to them than his twin.
“I think I want her.” 
If not for the cicadas around them, silence fell over the brothers as the wind was the only other thing rustling through the grasses below their feet. “Crazy. You’re simply crazy.” 
“Just think about it!” Atsumu was quick to snap back, turning to his twin as if he needed to convince him for a plan he had already decided to go through with anyway. “Are you really happy here? Happy with their customs, their orders?”
“They took us in, ‘Tsumu. They fed us and healed our wounds after you went batshit crazy trying to fight that Tengu. You can’t just take the Clan Leader’s future bride as you want.”
Again, silence as Atsumu thought about it. Not long enough to make his brother believe he actually thought about it, but he pretended well. “Okay,” Atsumu ‘gave in’, nodding. Osamu sighed, knowing his brother felt no remorse or fault about what happened, and he never had any intentions to stay in the village anyway. “Have you seen her?” Atsumu whispered, eyes looking up to the moon, full and clear on the horizon. 
“Briefly, why?” Leaning back, Osamu picked at his teeth with his little finger as he followed Atsumu’s gaze to the stars. Sitting here definitely was better than partying downstairs. Maybe at first, he had liked being in a community, but Osamu too felt the dread of having to bow your head to basically strangers, even if the two had been adopted into the fox family whose protection they were now under. 
“She’s beautiful,” Atsumu sighed lovestruck, bopping his feet up and down excitedly. All Osamu could focus on was Atsumu’s tail wagging like a common dog, happy to see its owner. For someone as sharp and cunning as Atsumu, he truly was a fool. Even more so, a fool in love now. Annoyed, he reached for the telling limb, gripping it tightly and making Atsumu yap in surprise before throwing Osamu an angry glare. The latter merely stuck out his tongue, which riled up Atsumu even more.
“At least take a good look at her then!” he hissed, standing up and pulling his tail out of his brother’s grip. “‘Tsumu, wait,” Osamu called after him, sitting up on the rooftop as his twin left. Atsumu briefly turned to look up at him, as he was already off the roof, his gaze determined. He always knew what he wanted, and that was a trait Osamu both admired and despised on him. “You can’t face her like that. You’re so ugly.”
Hair stood up as on his neck as Atsumu furiously stomped away, screaming, “WE LOOK THE SAME, YOU BASTARD!” 
With a chuckle to himself, Osamu followed casually, wanting to see how this was going to end. He couldn’t let his twin have all the fun alone either.
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You could pace your cell, and you could cry, but this time, there was no one listening in to your woes. Even if you kept rattling the bars, pleaded with them to yield, nothing happened when you touched them. Kita had made it look so easy, but there was something else going on; you just knew it. Magic, that’s what it was. How pathetic you felt, knowing that not even a guard at the entrance was waiting anymore since they didn’t expect you to get out on your own.
Wondering what time it was, something in you finally gave up. Perhaps it was exhaustion, or maybe just indifference about the situation now, but you were too tired to keep on fighting your problem. Your mind felt like some kind of slideshow, but it kept showing you the same thoughts over and over. It was trying to construct something that was out of your hands, tried to give you answers for everything. But as thankful as you felt to yourself for trying, its efforts were in vain. 
There were no gaps to fill out, at least not on your own. 
“Look at her! Damn it, ‘Samu, get your ass over here!” you heard from above the window, and god, for the first time, you felt annoyance as you did not want to deal with this. Whoever was speaking probably was just here to mock you again, and you simply couldn’t deal with this now. 
Once you decided to give up your endeavors of getting out and complaining, you had settled in the furthest corner of the cell. The one that seemed the least… unappealing to you from what you could see. But now, you stood up, angry that gawkers were leering into your window just to have some fun. Nudging the previously thrown over chair - you weren’t proud, but frustration had overcome you - back to the window, you took a deep sigh before stepping up on it. You tried to look strong, hoping it would seem like you were and scare off whoever was there, but inwardly, you couldn’t help but fear what could be awaiting you.
“If you’re not helping, then leave--!”
The words got caught in your throat as you didn’t expect two piercing pairs of eyes looking right back the moment you appeared in the window. It seemed to have caught them off-guard as well, and for a split second, they flinched away, halting their movements like animals determining if they should move or be quiet.
“Woah,” the blonde fox spirit gasped, inching closer immediately. With a short, hesitance glance to the former, the second one came closer, however, not as close as the other. A respectful distance, how you found, he seemed reasonable in your eyes. Only now you noticed that they looked eerily similar, almost like twins if there was such a thing under spirits. “You’re so pretty!”
The comment was now catching you off-guard, and you leaned back in surprise, almost losing your balance on the chair if you weren’t holding on to the window bars. “Oi, stop scaring her! Get back, ‘Tsumu!” the more reasonable twin instructed, though only when he gripped his brother’s shoulder tightly did he react. Up until then, he merely stayed absolutely still, only his eyes following every movement that you did, no matter how minor it was.
“Eeh,” he mumbled. “Sorry to scare you.”
That didn’t sound like he meant it at all. 
“You should be nicer. She’s the future wife of the Clan Leader,” the grey-haired brother muttered, reprimanding his brother who seemed unfazed while he watched you. In fact, by now, he had laid down in the grass, pushing it down. This was taking on casual picnic vibes instead of your imprisonment, and you didn’t know how to feel about that.
“I’m not… I don’t want to…” you stuttered, biting your lip as you felt the tears return to your eyes, though you doubt you had any water left in your body to lose more. “I just want to leave,” you whispered, looking down helplessly, knowing they wouldn’t help you either.
“You made her cry, you Dunce,” one of the two whispered softly, and you heard an upset, “Ouch!” follow the snip of a finger.
“Who’re you calling a dunce, you… Idiot!”
There was the soft sound of a scuffle, and you looked up at the brother’s watching them trying to hit each other while also blocking the oncoming hits at the same time. As stupid as it was, you couldn’t help a small laugh falling from your lips about how bizarre and absurd this situation was, but it made both of their ears peak up out of their hair. 
“That’s better. You’re cute when you laugh,” the blonde one sighed happily, his lips curling into a smile too. “Now, do you want to get out?” he added straight away, causing his brother to give him a look that was saying, “What are you even talking about?”
“C-Can you?!” you squeaked in surprise, instantly clearing your throat and lowering your voice again. Even if the spark of hope was ever so little, it was quick to ignite in you, rattling your senses to think about all the sudden possibilities. Even if those two were the same as Kita, if they could let you out, you’d take your chance with them. “I mean- yes. Please let me out immediately! I can’t stay here, I can’t become that… person’s wife! So, please--!”
However, before you could finish your sentence, your eyes caught onto something that spread behind the two, something that could be best described as fire, though you had never seen it in these colors. A mix between blue and green, flaming up in balls and twirling through the air. By now, the two had noticed it too, their body language changing as they tensed up, getting to their knees quickly. 
“And… what are you two doing?” 
Oh, this voice you knew, and instantly, all the hope you mustered to create inside of you, vanished.
Out of the fire, unfazed by its usual quality of burning someone, Kita emerged. Also, another man - or fox - stuck his head out from behind him. You hadn’t seen him around, but while everyone’s eyes were intense, his seemed to be the most fox-like and uncomfortable to you, always reminding you that you weren’t dealing with humans. “We were--” the grey-haired brother glanced at his twin who searched for words, eventually filling in for him, “--greeting...”
“Yes! Greeting her!”
“I see. That’s very thoughtful of you.”
Kita’s eyes fell on you, and you made a point to look away and sigh, wiping the tears from your face. You’d not entertain him with your attention, you decided. Missing the deflated expression he made, all you heard was a soft snort coming from one of the people outside your window. “Why don’t you all go back to the party?” Kita demanded, even if it was spoken like a question. Hearing the ruffling of clothes as the twins stood up immediately, you sent one last desperate glance at the blonde one. To your surprise, he looked back, giving you a short, unnoticeable nod before turning and leaving with his brother. 
“Idiot…” you heard his brother scold him. 
“Idiot, yourself!” he yapped back. 
“You’re both idiots,” the unknown man exclaimed with a sigh as he followed them, sending you a quick glance over his shoulders too before leaving you behind with Kita.
“[Name],” you suddenly heard from next to you as you were too focused on looking after the three to notice Kita having kneeled down, peering right at you. If it bothered him that you jumped, having totally forgotten about him, he didn’t let it notice you from his expression. Instead, with his hand flat on the ground, he cowered down to properly look you in the eyes on your height. This gesture seemed unlikely for a ‘man’ of his stand, yet it wasn’t the first one he surprised you with. 
“Did the two of them say anything unnecessary to you?”
“If they did, I sure as hell wouldn’t snitch it to you,” you hissed back, and he closed his eyes for a moment, which you could only interpret as him dismissing your choice of words. 
“Very well then.”
Raising from the ground again swiftly, Kita’s movements stroke you as odd, impractical despite being elegant. It just gave you another warning that you were dealing with something that was hard to believe. “Wait,” you called out to him, unsure why you even raised your voice. Maybe you still hoped for answers, or to reason with him, and now was as good as any moment. But his ears perked up, and he laid his head to the side, waiting for you to talk patiently.
“When can I leave? It’s dark and cold in here… I don’t want to be here.”
For unbearable long seconds, he merely looked at you, and it stirred up the fear in you that he might say, “Never.” The time he thought things over was something you couldn’t get used to. 
“Not too long anymore, don’t worry,” was his answer, vague and dismissive. “I suggest you don’t talk to anyone anymore until the ceremony.”
Sighing, you shook your head, one leg already off the chair, and you looked after it as you decided to end this conversation on your terms instead of having him walk off on you again. “Can’t make me…” you mumbled. It wasn’t like you wanted to challenge him, but to be fair, at that moment, you also forgot that he could hear you, even if you softened your voice.
“Yet,” you heard him hiss right at you, making your head snap back outside, seeing his wide-opened eyes staring at you with only the bars separating the two of you. This time, you did lose your balance from the shock and surprise, the chair wobbling below you as you lost your halt, your body plummeting to the cold, hard ground with a groan and a whine. Your hips and lower back were aching from the shock, but when you looked back to the window with tears in your eyes, Kita was gone.
And with him, he took all the hope you had, leaving you behind in the despair of anticipation.
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CHOOSE YOUR FATE
➤ Marry Kita
➤ Run away with Atsumu
➤ Rely on Osamu’s care
➤ RUN
We recommend reading the routes first before proceeding with the last option.
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strawberri-blonde · 4 years
Text
Daisy - Draco Malfoy
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Summary: You have a secret admirer who gifts you your favorite flower, after three times he reveals himself but it doesn’t go as planned.
Warnings: None
Laughter filled your body as you listened to Ron go on and on about how Hermione will never feel the same as he did. “What are you all talking about?” The beautiful Gryffindor nudged your shoulder making you giggle as the boys instantly shutting their mouths to scared to get caught. Rolling your eyes at Harry’s widen eyes and Ron’s shuttering you replied.
“We were talking about how Ron absolutely sucks at potions and he is too intimate to ask you for help.” Ron gave you a look but Hermione tilted her head. “You know how boys get. Their egos are fragile.”
“Hey.” The red head threw a crumb at you while Harry laughed along with Hermione.
“I’ll help you Ron.” Seeing the blush appeared on his pale face you picked up your cup to shield the smirk that was to evident if you didn’t try to hide it.
“Pssh, if you think Granger can help you, you’re crazy Weasley.” Hearing that familiar voice that caused chills to run down your spine. You quickly brushed off the feeling as Ron spoke.
“Ah, shut it Malfoy.” You set your cup down then reached for your fork and rested it in your hands.
“Please, Draco can we have one day without you terrorizing us?” The blonde looked at you and his  stature stiffened. Luckily, no one noticed it and he was able to concentrate on the real reason he was here.
“Honestly, Y/n.” He leaned down placing his arms on the either side you, making your heart race but you kept a straight face. “I don’t know why you hangout with these mugbloods.” And just like that you rolled your eyes and turned to him making it so your lips were only inches apart.
“Because they’re my friends Draco. You should try to get some other than your minions.” Sucking in a breath as his eyes trailed down your face towards your lips. “That’s not a friendship.”
“Hmm.” The two of you stayed in that position until the boys spoke up.
“Back off Malfoy.”
“Yeah just leave her be.”
Clearing your throat, Draco leaned back and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his robe. “When you’re ready to be around your on kind you know where to find me.” You rolled your eyes again then turned back, not facing the boy then dropped your fork to pick up your cup to take a sip from it.
“Not in a million years, Draco.” The golden trio plus others that couldn’t help but listen in snickered at the platinum blonde. The pure blood only rolled his eyes and turned away but not before sparing you one more glance.
Harry and Ron carefully watched the Slytherin walked off to sit with the members of his house. “Good, he’s annoying.” The Weasley snipped before taking a bite of his food.
Letting out a sigh, you put down your cup and went to grab your fork but when you did something else was in its place. A white daisy. “What in the-”
“Y/n, did you do that?” Picking up the delicate flower you turned to Hermione and shook your head in confusion.
“No, I...” you paused to inspect the beauty, quite literally in shock. “I didn’t do it.”
Harry squinted his eyes at the flower. “Maybe you did it on accident.”
Ron nodded in agreement. “Or someone could’ve cursed your fork?” This caused all of you to turn to Ron in disbelief. “What?”
“I don’t think someone would curse my fork to turn into something like a flower.” Hermione grabbed onto your arm and let a smile cover her beautiful features.
“Maybe someone did it because they have a crush?”
Your eyebrows rose and eyes widen at this. “I don’t think so Hermione.” Feeling her hands slip off your arms you brought the flower closer towards your face and smile at it. “But I have to say I do enjoy the sweet surprise.”
-
The crowds roaring echoed in your ear lighting up the fire inside as you yelled with them. Hermione and you were jumping up and down from the Gryffindor team scoring a point tying with Slytherin. “Merlin, we need to win this.” Hermione nodded in agreement clenching her hat onto her curly long locks. “Go, boys!” Surprisingly enough, it seemed as though Draco somehow heard you through all the ruckus and y’all locked eyes for a brief moment. He was the first to look away and knock a Gryffindor off his broom. Smirking towards yourself you hated that you found it hot.
“What was that?” Hermione’s question startled you a bit causing you to grab at your chest in shock.
You pushed back some of your hair as you kept your eyes onto the match, not daring to look the girl in the eye. Because you knew that if she did, the girl would know your secret. “What are you talking about?” Gryffindor blocked a goal causing you to scream but Hermione crossed her arms over her chest giving you her signature look.
“Oh don’t give me that?” You sighed making a cloud surround your face because it was so cold. “You like him. You like Malfoy-” insanely you turned around and covered her mouth with your hand.
“Don’t.” Your voice came out very squinky making you wince. “Please Hermione, not right now.” The brunette squeezed your biceps in comfort and when you let go of her mouth a smile had taken over.
“Okay, but later-Y/N!” Hermione pulled you toward her as a golden snitch came flying your way. You lifted your arms up to cover your face and flinched expecting to feel pain but it never came. Instead you felt the slightest touch. Slowly you moved your hands away from your face and looked down to see a daisy. Hermione bent down and picked it up to hand it to you. “Someone just saved your live with a daisy.”
Your breath got caught in your throat as you reached out to grasp the flower. Looking at the beauty, it looked the same as the one that appeared in the dinning hall. “I guess I’m lucky.”
After that, Slytherin had won the match, with Draco scoring the winning point for his team. Of course you were upset that your house had lost but seeing Draco’s smile made it a little better.
Walking down the main hall, you took off your hat and ran your fingers through your hair still holding onto the white daisy. “Y/n.” Surprised to hear the voice you turned around quickly to look over at the platinum blonde.
“Draco? What are you doing?” His hair was pressed to his forehead from the sweat and his cheeks were flushed from all the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Surprisingly, he smelt amazing despite having sweat all over.
“I-I was wondering if you were okay.” A sweet smile danced its way onto your face as Malfoy neared.
You took a step forward making it so you were only a few distances away. “Well,” you said as you twirled the daisy in between your thumb and pointer finger. “I didn’t get knocked out by a snitch sooo I think I’m doing okay.” Draco laughed at this and stepped a little closer.
“Well that’s a good thing.”
You grinned at him before replying. “Was the great Draco Malfoy worried about little old me?” The boy dragged his tongue across the inside of his cheek to the bottom of his lower jawed under his bottom lip. His eyes never left yours making you giggle. You reached forward with the hand that held the daisy, you grabbed the collar of his green rob and pulled him until his body was touching yours. “It’s a good look on you Malfoy.” And just like that all the confidence the Slytherin had was gone. You seeing how flushed the boy was, laughed in response and pulled away from him. “Have a nice night Malfoy.”
Cursing at himself for being so weak, Draco smiled at you one last time before you turned around to turn in for the night. “You too.”
-
Frustrations ran high as you stared at the piece of paper going over every ingredient, every little detail trying to get this potion right but for some reason it just wasn’t working. “Fuck me.” You groaned tugging on your roots.
“Is that an invitation?”
“Merlin.” You gasped turning around in shock. The moon shined through the window causing some light into the library but the fire did most of the work. You really didn’t expect for anyone to be in the library this late but here you were. “Draco? What are you doing here?” His slider body made his way over to where you were sitting and pressed his hands against the table.
“I was terrorizing 2nd year mugbloods and I lost them. Then I saw the light in the library and got curious.” You rolled your eyes then rested your chin into your hand.
“You know curiosity killed the cat right?” Now it was Dracos time to roll his eyes as he pulled out the wooden chair to sit across from you.
“Now it’s your turn.” You both had a mini stare off as you finally let out a sigh in defeat. You reluctantly turned the book around and showed it to the Slytherin.
”I cant figure out this spell and Snape has been giving me hell.” Draco’s eyes watched as you palmed your face in distress and his heart became heavy. “I’ve read everything at least seven times and I keep messing it up. And if I don’t get it right in class Snape will quite literally have my head.”
Chuckles filled the room as Draco grabbed onto the page. “We can’t have that can we?” Reading over the potion Dragon Dung Fertilizer. You watched carefully as his eyes gazed over the ingredients and looked at the materials. “Okay put it together like you have been because I think I know what you’ve been doing wrong.” You gave him a look but he just laughed. “I did the same thing too.”
“Whatever.” You laughed out then started to put all the ingredients together then at the last step toasted dragonfly thoraxes you grabbed your wand and lightly burned them. Before you could even put them in the bowl, Draco clicked his tongue against his teeth. “What?”
“I know it says toasted but you basically have to fry them.” You gave Draco a look but he rested his hand onto his chin. “Just trust me.” Giving the boy one last look you enknighted the spell that caused fire to spew from your wand and you burned the thoraxes to a crisp. Gently you set the ingredients all together and mixed them perfectly. Once everything seemed set you picked up the dead plant that came from Harry’s and Ron’s room and applied the fertilizer to the soil. At first nothing happened but then the golden potho came alive and grew a foot long in leaves.
“Draco!” You squealed out, dashing from your seat to grab him into a hug. Draco was stund but quickly adapted placing his arms over yours. “Thank you.” You mumbled a thanks into his chest giving the boy butterflies.
“Yeah no problem.” You pulled away first to look over at the plant and that’s when Dacro noticed the daisies in your book of spells. You were trying to see who was sending them. “I have to go it’s late.”
“You’re right.” You nodded while tidying up. “I’ll see you tomorrow Draco. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Y/n.” You listened to his footsteps until they disappeared then as you lifted up the pothos plant that’s when you saw it. A daisy.
-
“Oh it’s so Draco.” You let out a scoff as you pulled up your skirt then turned to your dorm mate. “I don’t know why you deny it so.”
“I’m denying it, Mione.” You looked back towards your mirror to brush your hair. “I’m denying it because I don’t want to get my hopes up.” Granger jumped up from her bed and walked behind you to comb your hair for you.
“So you like him.” Sharing eye contact through the reflection you nodded shamefully.
“Since second year. I know he’s mean to you and the others and I shouldn’t; but I see through all that. He’s going through pain and instead of standing up to his dad he takes it out of others.” Hermione gave you a soft smile, finishing up your hair.
“And that’s why we love you Y/n. It’s because you care for others who really don’t deserve it.” Shrugging your shoulders you turned to face the beauty. “But if you like him, Ron and Harry will get over it.” Her comment made you scoff. “It might take a while but they will.”
You stayed quiet but decided to shake the comment off. “I have to get to class.” Not giving Hermione a chance to start the conversation back up you threw on your robe and grabbed your wand, and books for class plus paper and a quill. “We’ll talk later. Promise.” You raced out the door not really looking at to where you were going. Once you turned a corner your body seemed to crash into something. “Bloody hell.”
“I’m sorry.” Looking up you were surprised to see the infamous Draco Malfoy.
“What-what are you doing on the girls dormitory floor?” You both bent down to pick up your stuff but once Draco handed you your book he grabbed your quill. He was the first to stand back up then lended a hand to help you up. Without hesitation you took it, and he helped you onto your feet. “Thanks, it’s seem quite the morning.” Draco let out a laugh and watched as your eyes landed onto your quill. Nervously, the platinum blonde grabbed his wand and pointed at the pen and whispered a spell.
Tears formed in your eyes as you saw the pink daisy. “Are you trying to joke with me Draco because it’s not funny.” Instantly the boy gapped and began to stutter making you push at his chest. “You saw the daisies or either heard about it from someone and thought that you could turn my pen into one pretending to be someone who might actually like me?” You pushed him again but Draco tried to grab your wrist but it didn’t work. “That’s low even for you Malfoy.” Quickly, you turned on your heel to flee from the boy but he grabbed your wrist.
“It was first year and you were talking with Hermione about how daisies were your favorite because that’s what your father gave your mother.” Hearing his words caused your heart to swell in your chest, and your eyes widen as you looked into his. “So I wanted you to know how I felt by giving you white daisies like your father.” He lifted the pink daisy and sighed. “I did it in secret because you make me nervous and I knew I would mess up.” You continued to stay quiet as you watched Draco put the flower behind his back and not even a second later he revealed a new set of a dozen white daisies. You smiled sweetly as you grasped them into your hands. “I like you Y/n Y/l/n.” A blush formed on both of your cheeks. “And I was wondering if you would company me on a date?”
You inched closer to the boy and stood on your tippy toes to press a kiss on his cheek. “I’m free tonight at 7.” Collecting yourself you moved past the boy to start walking down the hall. “And Malfoy don’t be late.”
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suphoshi · 4 years
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THE SUN, THE MOON, THE STARS | Byun Baekhyun x reader
PART I | PART II
Genre: Best friends to lovers AU, angst, some fluff, v v small amount of smut (i mean nearly non-existent, but def there)
Warnings: Horrible coping mechanisms (lots of drinking ((small mention of underage drinking)), making out/sex with strangers), possible trigger for depression, assault
Baekhyun holds the sun, the moon, and the stars in his eyes. How could he ever expect you not to love him?
-
click here for part I
PART II
Word count: 10,617
“Are you coming to the party next Friday?”
Sehun caught you walking home later that week and insisted on walking with you despite all protest. You had been avoiding everyone again, but most of the time Sehun slithered his way into your life regardless. He was like a parasite.
You met him through Baekhyun, another failed experiment at getting you a boyfriend or any other friend besides him. You did like Sehun, liked how sweet and caring he was, how soft. But still… it didn’t work out in the long term. He knew your heart only bled for one person.
“I didn’t know about a party.” You said, lifeless. He matched your pace even though his long legs usually had him speeding past you.
“Baekhyun’s having a party, like a coming home thing and he’s gonna play some of his music for everyone. You should come. He would want you there.”
You stopped in your tracks and he didn’t notice for a little while, turning back a few feet away. You stared at him with accusation. Annoyance.
“How would you know what he wants? We don’t even talk anymore. Why would he want me to come?” You spat out with frustration. Sehun sighed and walked closer, hands tucked in his pocket.
“I just... I know him. And I know he would want you there, okay? You’re his best friend.”
You laughed at that and felt your eyes roll without a thought, arms crossing over your chest.
“No. I was his best friend, past tense. We’re both different now. And he’s moved on.” Your heart stuttered as you spoke, but you pushed past it with a stoic face. “I’m fine with that, so don’t bring it up again.”
You moved to brush past him, but his hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling you back to face him.
“He asked about you.” Your world froze over at his words. He looked at you with such sincerity that it made your nerves tremble. “In all of his letters to me, he always asked about you, but asked me not to tell you.”
You couldn’t peel your eyes from his, waiting for the punch line to his very obvious joke.
It never came.
“He did. He always asked if you were okay. If you were eating well. If work was too hard. He asked about everything.”
Standing there on the sidewalk with Sehun, it felt like you were suddenly you were thrust into some type of twilight zone and your chest was aching again. Confusion flooded your features as you looked at his hand still wrapped around your wrist, tears filling your eyes.
“W-why would he ask about me? Huh? Why? Why couldn’t he just talk to me?” You asked and he shrugged, shaking his head.
“I don’t know.”
That look on his face, too genuine, too caring – It made you want to scream. Made you want to run and hide and never come out again.
“Can I… see them?” You asked despite your mind’s screaming protest. Sehun stared at you for a minute, as if he realized he may have made a mistake before nodding.
An hour later, you found yourself in the middle of Sehun’s room reading Baekhyun’s letters. He was being honest when he said he always asked about you. He talked a lot about training and writing music, adding lyrics here and there for Sehun to discuss with him. You smiled reading them.
‘Your love was what I needed to breathe
A rope to pull my two hands above water,
I was drifting in the middle of an ocean
And you were the heaven that let me live’
When you got to the end of each letter, your heart broke piece by piece.
‘How’s ____ doing? Don’t tell her I’m asking; she’ll get upset cause I’m not writing her myself. She looked sick the last time I saw her. Is she losing more weight? Make sure she eats well. She’ll get sick if she loses anymore weight. And tell her to stop drinking, she drinks too much. Hopefully, she doesn’t hate me. I’ll write you again next week.’
Sehun had left you to read them on your own, and you were grateful. Tears fell down your cheeks at an alarming rate, heartbreak overtaking you with each scratch of his pen.
‘If she won’t listen, maybe you should take her to the hospital. She’s going to go into liver failure, I’ve never seen someone drink like she does. Or call her mom, she’ll lock her up for sure, then I won’t have to worry about it. I’m kidding, but can you please keep an eye out for her? Don’t let her drink alone anymore, she deserves better than that. Hey, next time, will you send me a picture of her? Not for anything serious, I just… kind of miss her smile. Kind of. Anyways, I hope she’s doing well. And you, too. Send me a picture. See you soon.’
You smiled at the thought of Sehun sneaking a picture of you while you were together. Baekhyun hated when you drank, but the only thing you did when you were with Sehun was drink. Hopefully, he got one before you were two bottles deep at dinner and acting like an idiot.
You folded the letters back up and put them in the box they came from, opting out of reading anymore. Putting your heart through more useless turmoil didn’t seem necessary.
“You okay?” Sehun asked when you exited the room. You let out a deep sigh and sat on the couch beside him. His eyes remained fixed on you, and it was hard to even form a coherent thought over the racing questions you had flying through your mind.
“I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me.” You mumbled. It was the only thing you could think of. The only words you could form after the bomb he had dropped.
“Don’t be like that. He was my friend before you were.”
You rolled your eyes, turning to fix your stare on him. You were confused. Lost. Not a single thought coming to mind on what to do.
Sehun gave you an encouraging smile, pinching your cheek lightly. “Come to the party on Friday. He’d want you there.”
You stayed silent for a long time, waited for Sehun’s hand to drop back down before you stood up and walked towards his door in silence. It was while you stared at the deep cherry wood that you made your decision.
“Text me the details.”
-
The following Friday came too quick, not giving you enough time to mentally prepare for seeing him again. You had made a vow to avoid him for the rest of forever, but now that didn’t seem possible. He must have missed you to ask about you; must have wanted to write you himself but didn’t. You wanted to know why, had to know why. It felt like if after that night, you couldn’t answer that question, your life would be over. Your friendship. Your love. You both deserved the chance to explain.
Sehun had texted you the bar he was performing at earlier that week and you arrived early so you could take a couple of shots to boost your confidence. Not ideal, but effective.
Baekhyun’s solo career had started to become popular over the years, after a lifetime of hard work and failures, it seemed like he was making it. That’s why it didn’t surprise you to see a few reporters standing outside. You had always been proud of him, but since he was finally getting the recognition he always wanted, it was a new form of pride. Sometimes though, you wished you could go back to the days when he played music just for you, too shy to show anyone else. Those were your favorite days. Him biting his lip nervously while he watched you put his headphones on before pressing play. The smile he beamed when you started nodding your head along with the beat. You loved that he could smile at you like that, even if it was years ago. Sometimes you would nod your head along without listening, just so you could see him smile.
When you made it inside, you found yourself engulfed in a crowd of people, body relaxing immediately with the bass of music that rattled your bones. It was funny how when you were a teenager, that same loud music used to scare you beyond belief. Now you relished in it.
You sent a text to Sehun to let him know you were there and shoved your way to the bar, ordering a drink. The smooth alcohol settled your nerves almost instantly, body relaxing despite the anxiousness you had been feeling earlier that day.
When Sehun found you thirty minutes later, his hand wrapped around yours and he led you to the booth he had secured. Everyone seemed familiar there, Chanyeol, Sehun, and a few other friendly faces. They all smiled at you, kissed your cheek, patted your head. It was a normalcy you didn’t realize you were missing.
“Baekhyun!” A shouting voice diverted your attention from your drink, looking up to find the man of the evening. He looked so perfectly Baekhyun that it made your heart swell up. His hair was short, styled differently than you were used to, but you loved it. The smile that settled on your cheeks was involuntary.
He smiled and greeted everyone, eyes settling on you for only a few seconds, a look of confusion and something else you couldn’t pinpoint ringing through. It was gone just as quick though, nodding his head and turning the conversation back to everyone else. You needed to talk to him. Needed to tell him about the letters, ask what they meant, needed to tell him that you missed him too.
Your heart sank when Yuna came a few minutes later. She clung to his side like a koala, arms wrapping around his while she smiled up at him like he was her sun. As if she could see everything inside of him like you did, all of his constellations, all of his galaxies. When she pressed a kiss to his cheek, you noticed the way he glanced towards you, but chose to ignore it, downing the rest of your drink.
You hated that she was perfect, all long legs and sparkling eyes. You suddenly felt stupid in the dress you had bought that morning. Small. Insignificant.
All too quickly, Baekhyun was saying goodbye to everyone, catching you by surprise. You thought you had more time. When his eyes landed on yours, you waved at him, forcing a smile to your cheeks despite the desperation you felt in your chest. Your questions, they would have to wait until later.
It was the strangest thing. His eyes were angry. Frustrated. Concerned. Upset. All at you. Like you had done something wrong. Like you had made a mistake, but as quick as it was there, it was gone. Again. Forever hiding his feelings from you. You watched his back as he walked away and wondered for a moment if you should leave. Wondered if you should run and never look back.
You didn’t.
You had always loved watching him on stage. Loved that everyone else loved him too. He worked so hard to tell people his stories through songs and his voice was so pretty. When he finally came on stage, you danced with Sehun, Chanyeol screaming from across the table like he was in a stadium. It was nice. Normal.
Everything was normal.
You were happy.
When he announced his last song, you whined, drinks making your head swim as you remembered the way Baekhyun used to ruffle your hair when he heard you whine like that, laughing at your pouty face, pinching your cheeks. The memory alone made you smile, but it was quickly stolen back when he began speaking again.
He called Yuna to the stage to sing with him and your heart sank back into reality. He was never yours. Not really. She sang so pretty. You almost wanted to close your eyes and be carried away by her voice. But you didn’t. You couldn’t look away. Couldn’t tear your eyes off what was happening in front of you. They sang their love story, one you never got to see.
‘You’re a part of me I can never lose’
Everything hurt. You watched the way they smiled at each other. Watched how Baekhyun kissed her knuckles and she blushed. She intertwined her fingers with his and you wanted to vomit. Wanted to sink into the ground so deep that the earth’s core enveloped you in its flames and made the pain stop. Made everything stop.
As the song was ending, Baekhyun reached into his pocket and you already knew what he was reaching for. You knew it like you knew the color of the sky. The grass is green. The ocean is blue.
‘I think he’s going to propose’
Your hands were shaking, eyes wide and full of tears at the scene playing out before you.
‘I just want you to be happy’, words you said just a few days before echoed around in your mind and with every inhale of air that came into your lungs, you wished your heart would just stop. He got down on one knee and you felt the crippling heartache take over your limbs, tears filling your eyes and falling in a matter of seconds.
Sehun grabbed your hand but you felt suffocated, the world drowning you from the inside out, so you pushed your way out of the booth, feet pushing forward despite the crowd of people around you.
“Yuna, will you-”
His voice was cut off by you slamming your hands over your ears, trying to desperately shove your way out. The sobs you tried to hold in until you made it outside were slipping now, heart pounding in your chest.
Marry? Why would he marry her? Sure, she was perfect, she had a good job in the same industry as him, she was pretty. But marriage? It was too permanent for you to handle. You shouldn’t have come. You should have run when you saw the turmoil on his face and never looked back. Never ever looked back.
There were too many people and you tripped on someone’s shoe, falling to the ground as your own shoe came off. Someone’s hands grabbed your arms, pulling you up and you saw through wet eyes that it was Sehun.
“Are you okay?” He asked and you shook your head, a sob escaping your throat while he pulled your head to his chest.
“I can’t breathe,” you choked out. “I can’t breathe.”
The panic you had been encasing for weeks, the anguish, the sorrow, it all ripped through you right then and there, a tornado turning towns into desolation, leaving you in ruins.
Sehun took your other shoe off and dragged you through the crowd, hand wrapped around yours so tight that you were sure it was the only thing keeping you from dissolving into nothing. Once you made it outside, he walked you to his car and buckled your seatbelt while you let it all go. The choked back sobs came out freely, tears pouring down your cheeks while you clutched at your chest. This was not how life was supposed to be. Baekhyun was supposed to marry you, he promised when he was 10 that he would after you beat up a kid who called him ugly. He promised over and over again that he was yours and suddenly he wasn’t. Suddenly he promised someone else forever and how was that fair? How was any of it fair?
You looked out the window after a few minutes and saw Sehun arguing with someone, only realizing once he walked back to the driver’s side that it was Baekhyun. He stared at you through the window, eyes worried. Scared. Sad. As if he cared.
You looked away, leaning your head back against the seat as the next sob wracked through you. You had never felt so alone.
Sehun took care of everything. Walking you up the stairs to your apartment while you moved on autopilot. Unlocking the door, taking off your shoes, hanging up your jacket. He opened the door to your room and guided you inside before standing back uncomfortably, hands stuffed in his pockets. He didn’t know how to handle you like that. How to hold you while you cried, how to hold you when you were broken, no one did. No one except Baekhyun.
The thought alone sent you in a rage, eyes locking on the picture you had kept up on your nightstand. Despite everything, all of the time you had spent apart, you never found the courage to let it go. A photo of you and Baekhyun from years before, you on his back, arms wrapped around his neck. He was smiling. You were smiling. You remember being so happy. So warm. It was a dream. It was always a fucking dream.
You moved in a blind fury, lifting it up and throwing it at the wall while a scream paralleled the shattering glass of the picture frame. It wasn’t enough. You shoved past Sehun and into the kitchen, took out your first aid kit and emptied it into the trash. Grabbed the overwhelming amount of tea cups from your cupboard and threw them at the wall one by one because all you could think of when you saw them was tea and honey and the way he was supposed to heal you and never ever break you.
You sobbed as you threw them wildly, ignoring the way glass cracked under your feet as you tried to find a way out of the heart shattering disappointment that washed over you like a hurricane.
You turned to grab more and found the cupboards just as empty as you wished to be. Knees falling to the floor, head falling into your hands while you cried, rocking back and forth; you begged for God to take it away. Begged him to leave you empty forever if it meant you could avoid this pain.
Sehun’s arms wrapping around you brought back a sense of reality that you weren’t prepared to face. The ground beneath you shook as you let him pull you into his chest and hold you like a child, pet your hair, hush your cries despite the fact that it felt like you wouldn’t ever stop.
Hours passed before you picked yourself up off the floor, untangling yourself from his arms. You moved into your room and stared at yourself in the mirror for far too long, wished you were anyone but you. At the sight of your lip quivering, eyebrows scrunching up like you would cry again, you moved to the bathroom.
You stood in the shower until the water ran cold and even then, you sat there until your fingers were wilted and your limbs were shaking. Turning off the faucet was a task on its own, let alone climbing out onto the cold tile. Your limbs felt like cement as moved, leaving a trail of water behind you. You felt pathetic wrapping yourself in a dry towel, somehow finding more tears left to cry as you exited the bathroom. Pathetic when you saw that Sehun sat just outside the door, waiting for you. Pathetic when you pulled one of Baekhyun’s t-shirts over your head. Pathetic when you dragged Sehun into your bed and asked him to hold you.
He rubbed circles into your back, apologized over and over for something that wasn’t his fault.
“He was supposed to love me.” You whispered.
He didn’t reply.
When you woke up the next morning, he was still there. You laid in silence next to each other, staring at the ceiling as if all the answers were there. As if you could fix every problem, solve all of life’s riddles with the secrets trapped in the chipped white paint.
“I think I’m gonna go home.” You said softly and Sehun looked at you.
“Home? Like... Home-home?”
It wasn’t something you had considered ever since you left.
Life wasn’t always simple with Baekhyun, but he made it seem like it could be. Maybe that was why you loved him so deeply. Your family was toxic and manipulative, always trying to force you into a life you never wanted, a high-class lifestyle that came with devastating cost. You never wanted it, and your parents despised you for it.
Your father arranged for you to marry a man before you made the decision to leave, gave you no options, left you no room for an opinion.
‘He’s over 40 years old dad, I’m 21. I can’t marry him- I won’t.’ You remember the finality in your tone – the severity, but somehow, he found it amusing, a chuckle escaping him as he stabbed a piece of food, chewing on it like an animal. He made you nauseous.
‘You will if I say so. That’s what you do for family. You yield.’
It never occurred to you until then that your father never loved you. Never cared about you more than an inheritor to a business you never wanted. A life you never claimed. You’d always thought that if it came down to it, he would choose you before anything else, but suddenly it was crystal clear. Money is power. Respect. Assets. You gave him none of that. Why would he have ever loved you?
The first few times you met him, the man he wanted you to marry, he was nice. Took you to dinner, bought you gifts, sent you encouraging messages about school and work. You would never be attracted to him, never have kids or sleep with him, but you thought that you could get away with marrying him despite that. To make your father happy. To get him off your back. It was nice for a while.
After a few months though, he started taking you to bars with his friends and getting drunk, trailing his hands over your hips like you were a possession. Like he was staking his claim. It made you feel small.
You went to a company dinner with him one night and he pressed you against a wall, vodka breath dripping down your cheek where he kissed you. You told him to stop, but he wouldn’t. He gripped your arm tighter, kissed your neck, traced his hand down to the hem of your dress where he hiked it up despite your pleas.
You were able to wriggle your hands free from behind you and clawed at his face before he finally backed up enough for you to run.
When you made it home, you cried to your father, told him everything that happened, and he didn’t once ask if you were okay. Didn’t apologize. Instead he looked you up and down and chuckled, eyes turning back down to the paper he was reading.
‘Well look at how you’re dressed. How would he know what your boundaries are?’
Embarrassment crept up your cheeks. Shame.
You never knew what it was like for your father to love you. Never knew what it was like for him to care or worry. But somehow, his words still left a hole in you that would never be filled.
You cried in your room for hours that night. Alone, afraid of what life held for you.
It was almost midnight when there was a knock at your window. Baekhyun always came in through the window. Your parents hated him, hated that his parents weren’t as successful as them, hated that he was your friend and hated that they couldn’t get rid of him, no matter how hard they tried.
‘I’ve been calling you for hours, don’t you check you phone?’ His voice came out harsh initially, but he paused, spotting you at the bottom of the bed. You looked up at him, mascara running down your cheeks, hair a mess, a disaster in a cocktail dress that wished life had been different. Wished she had parents who loved her, wished she had anyone at all that loved her.
‘What happened?’ He asked, stepping closer and kneeling down beside you.
The concern that radiated off him warmed you from the inside out, and you wondered if you deserved it. Wondered if you deserved the gentleness in his touch, the kindness in his voice. Your own parents didn’t care about you, why should he? Why should anyone? You watched his eyes scour your tear-stained expression, watched them land on the bruise that was forming on your arm, and you sobbed.
His hands grabbed your face, thumbs brushing your tears away and you shook your head, unable to speak. You simply cried harder at his silent understanding. He sat down and pulled you into his lap, hugging you so tight that you couldn’t fathom the thought of him ever letting you go. Your hands gripping his hoodie, nose buried in his neck, he breathed life into your soul. Made you feel safe.
He let you cry into his shoulder until you fell asleep, rubbed gentle circles into your back, let you stay pressed against him like that for hours, past his legs going numb, past his arms stiffening and growing tired where they held you. When he finally built his energy back up, he lifted you off the ground and laid you in bed. You gripped his hand tightly as he pulled the covers up over your shoulders and stared at him with wet eyes, fear gripping your vocal cords.
‘Please don’t leave me alone…’ you whispered. His eyes. He really looked like he loved you. He climbed in beside you without hesitation, pulled you into his arms and held you without contempt. Without shame. He ran his hands through your hair, whispered the sweetest things to you all night until you fell asleep again.
You moved to Seoul the next day. Left without a goodbye, without a second glance back. Your parent left you cruel messages, made you feel like garbage and promised you would come crawling back, but none of it mattered. You had Baekhyun, so it was okay. Your parents didn’t care about you, but he did. You knew he did. So, you got a job at a marketing company and worked your way up the ranks, rented the cheapest apartment you could find, made life work so that you could stay with him. When Baekhyun finally debuted, you were there, just like you had always been. You were there when he failed, when he failed again, when he cried, when he laughed. You were always there, through everything. He was supposed to be your forever person.
Now he was someone else’s.
You looked back at Sehun and smiled sadly.
“Yeah... Like home-home.” You mumbled and tears filled your eyes again.
He looked at you like you were broken, pulled you into his chest like a child, kissed the top of your head and told you everything would be okay when it so obviously wouldn’t. “I’m sorry, ____…”
Everything felt so wrong. Empty.
-
Over the next week, you made your way back home more, visiting your father at work, learning a lot about the company. It was the lidocaine that your soul needed.
Sitting around the dinner table with your parents was so strange. It was like sitting with two strangers. You didn’t know them, and they certainly didn’t know you.
“I think you should move home this weekend. Stop with the back and forth. You can come back and work for the company, I’m getting old and you need time to learn the ropes.” Your father said without looking up from his plate of food. You felt the uncertainty fill your veins and rested your silverware down, looking at him.
“I’m not sure yet. I really like where I’m working right now, so I want to be sure before I leave.” You replied, dissecting his expression.
Indifference. Frustration?
He sighed and looked up at you, a feigned smile taking over his features while he pretended to hear your concerns. Why did everyone feel the need to lie to you?
“Well now that Byun Baekhyun is getting married, I was hoping you would have no further ties.” The way your mother said his name sounded like she was spitting out bad food. Of course, she knew. It was her life’s work, minding everyone’s business but her own. She prided herself in it.
You looked towards her and met her cold stare; the same one you had been seeing since you were a child. It reminded you of something old, a memory you had nearly forgotten. You were sick. Stomach screaming, body shaking with pain, you threw up on your pink fluffy pillow and somehow found the strength to walk to their room. You held your hand up to the doorhandle and almost turned it, but fear froze you. She had yelled at you that day, told you to stop being such a bother. Such a nuisance. You almost walked in. Almost told her that you didn’t feel good and needed help, but her eyes. Cold and scary, empty. You couldn’t move.
The housekeeper found you passed out on the floor an hour later in front of their room.
Appendicitis. You sat in the hospital for days getting antibiotics after surgery.
Baekhyun came every day. Your parents never did.
“Sorry to disappoint.” You mumbled and she scoffed.
“If you’re sorry, then stop being a disappointment.” She said before taking a sip of her wine.
“Come home, ____,” you looked back towards your father, his firm words coming before you could say anything in response to your mother. “It’s what’s best for the family.”
You stared at him and debated the idea of coming home. It wasn’t like you belonged anywhere else anymore. Like you had any other responsibilities to keep you away from the one you were born into. At least there, you would eventually have control, some say in the way your life would go.
The ringing of your father’s phone snapped you out of your thoughts, shaking you back to reality, and you cleared your throat, standing up from your seat.
“I should get home. It’s late.”
They didn’t walk you out. Didn’t ask when you would be back again. Didn’t ask if you had a way to get home.
You walked to the bus stop a few blocks away and laid with your head pressed against the window, flashing lights nowhere near distracting enough for the ache you felt in your heart. Once upon a time, you thought someone cared about you, but that was no longer a truth you could live with. Would you ever belong anywhere? Would anyone ever really want you?
“Let’s have ice cream before bed!”
You watched a little girl tug on her mother’s hand with a bright smile and couldn’t help but wonder what that must have felt like. To have a mother who held your hand. A mother you could smile at.
“Should we?”
The little girl nodded her head wildly and you smiled involuntarily. It was sweet. But it was also bitter. Left you feeling incomplete. Unfulfilled.
You got off of the bus a few blocks from your apartment, not ready to be home yet. Instead, you found yourself wandering into a convenience store. It was late and cold, and no one was out at that hour, but still. At least it wasn’t as quiet as being in your apartment.
You bought a few bottles of soju and drank them outside, eyes focused on the cement ground to keep yourself from looking at the sky. You couldn’t bear to look at the stars for a while. Couldn’t bear to see them for the reminders they brought, the never-ending sorrow.
You drank for hours alone, until the world felt a little lighter. Like you could breathe again without feeling so desolate.
When you pushed up from the table you were sitting at, you had to wait a few minutes to regain your balance, but once it returned, you walked with no set course in mind. The sound of the river had your heart thumping, so you walked closer, hands stuffed in your pockets, chest warm and fuzzy with excitement.
The twinkling stars that blurred into Han River left you feeling magical. Like thousands of tiny fairies floated under the moonlight, dancing, and twirling to a song you couldn’t hear. You sat down on the grass and watched, wished you could be a part of that magic so that you didn’t have to feel so alone.
You laid back and found yourself staring at the clearest sky you had seen in weeks. Fairies danced up there too, shooting back and forth, putting on a show just for you. You found yourself smiling, cheeks warm and red. You wished and wished, as hard as you could, that they would let you dance with them, suck you up into the sky and hold you close, never let anyone leave you feeling lonely again.
Your phone started buzzing in your hand and you answered it blindly, holding it up to your ear while your other hand reached up towards the sky.
“Where are you?” Sehun’s voice bled through your phone, but it did nothing to break you from your conversation with the stars.
He sighed on the other end. “I’ve been waiting at your house for an hour and you’re not here. It’s 1am.”
You smiled at the sky again and felt the moon coming closer, ready to answer your prayers and take you home (home?)
“Does your mom tell you she loves you? Your dad?”
He disregarded your words and you heard him sigh in the background.
“Are you near the river? I hear water, where are you? It’s freezing out, you should come home.”
The concern that radiated through his tone made you smile even bigger, but somehow the hollowness continued to rattle around inside of you.
“Mine have never told me they love me. I don’t think anyone has ever told me they love me.”
The realization had your throat swelling up, childish tears falling down the sides of your face while you let your hand fall back down from the sky.
“I don’t think…” Your face crumpled, lip quivering, a cloud blocking the view of your moon. Your stars. “I don’t think anyone loves me.”
Sehun began speaking again, but you couldn’t hear him over the screaming in your heart, the ache in your chest. You hung up his call and cried at the midnight sky, sobbed to your hearts content, and still found the tears to continue crying. It left you exhausted. Drained. Empty.
Your vision seeped black, and somehow, the cold air comforted you, made your eyes feel so heavy. It blanketed you in indifference and welcomed you like a friend.
You didn’t know how much time passed when your eyes opened again, voices shouting in the distance, but it was still dark out. Cloudy skies still covered your view of the moon, but it hardly mattered anymore. You felt cold, uncomfortably so. When did you start shaking so hard that your bones ached?
The shouting grew closer, but you couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move. You felt frozen in place, hands buried close to your chest, legs stiff as ice.
When you heard a familiar voice, you wanted to ignore it. Wanted to disappear behind the clouds with the stars and never come back. But it was his voice. The voice that belonged to the only person you loved. He shouted your name, and you craned your neck towards his voice. He was far away, but you’d recognize him from a different planet.
“Baekhyun…”
He saw you at the same time that you saw him, your whispered voice carrying yards away, and he ran to you. Ran like his life depended on it.
He stooped down on his knees above you, pulling your face into his hands, eyes frantic and worried.
“What are you doing? What happened?!” He pulled his jacket off and covered you up, arms wrapping around you and pulling you into his lap. He was shouting the same questions over and over and if you weren’t so cold, you would have told him to be quiet, but God, you were freezing.
Sehun ran up behind him seconds later, but it was Baekhyun who picked you up off of the ground. You closed your eyes and time seemed like a dream, the walk to the car, your head on his lap, his hand in your hair.
When he carried you into his house (you knew it was his because he and Sehun had argued about it on the ride there), he took you straight into his room and laid you in his bed. His sheets smelled like home (home?), and that meant too much, brought tears to your eyes, but you didn’t object.
It was still too cold, and your toes felt numb, arms wrapping around yourself tightly with a whimper. Baekhyun looked back and quickly said goodbye to Sehun before closing the door and walking back to the edge of the bed. He looked down at you for a few seconds, looked at you shake, and felt his heart break at the tear that slid past your closed eyes. He pulled off his sweatshirt and climbed into the bed beside you, covering you both up with his blankets before wrapping his arms around you and pulling your head into his chest.
Being that close to him for the first time in so long, it was too much, but still not enough. To smell him, to feel his hand on the back of your neck.
“Why did you do that? Huh? Why would you sit out there like that? You could’ve died.” He said and you felt sick to your stomach, eyes squeezed shut, hands against his chest.
“The stars…” you mumbled mindlessly; exhaustion overtaking you. “I miss your stars.”
Despite everything being so wrong, it still felt right. Being in Baekhyun’s arms felt right. Like the earth finally met her sun after eons and got to feel it envelop her from the inside out. Worlds colliding.
You drifted off for who knows how long, heart at ease, but woke up feeling completely different. The alcohol no longer settled in your bones. The cold no longer numbed your senses. Your eyes fluttered open and you were met with the sight of his chin. His golden skin dripping down his neck, your hands gripping his shirt, as if he were still yours. As if you had the right to cling to him forever.
It was the second that the thought hit you that you found his arms around your waist too heavy. His breath too close. You tried to peel yourself away, but his arms didn’t yield, just pulling you closer in response.
“Don’t go. Not yet.” He mumbled and your throat burned with tears. Didn’t he know how destructive this would be? How damaging?
“I can’t stay.” You choked out, voice thick with panic and dread. He pulled back some to see you and his hand rested on your cheek for too long. His eyes raked your face, and you searched his expression over and over, pretending not to see the guilt in his stare. The devastation.
Tears slipped down your cheeks and he wiped them away just as quick.
He took a deep breath, and it came out too shaky. Too honest.
“Please stay.” He whispered, and you shattered.
You met his gaze again and you saw all of the stars in his eyes that you dreamed of as a teenager and he let you in. Let you dance among the starlight like it was the only place you belonged.
Cassiopeia.
Hydrus.
Orion.
Andromeda.
It was everything you dreamed of.
You cried harder when he kissed you. Cried when you realized, those were the gentle lips you had dreamt of for years. His fingers pressed against your cheek, hair brushing against your forehead. He fit with you so perfect and it broke you. Left you like ground out glass that would never be the same again.
He pressed you onto your back and pulled your shirt over your head, ignored the blush in your cheeks when he kissed your neck. You moaned out his name over and over and he praised you for it, rewarded you with his touch each time. You prayed he would never stop.
He was just as soft as you imagined. He held you, kissed you, told you over and over how perfect you were. How beautiful.
When he let you on top, you couldn’t help but smile at how needy he was. You kissed his jaw, his neck, the small freckle just above his clavicle. He whined when you stopped, and you couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips.
He didn’t let you stay on top for very long.
He took you with his mouth pressed against yours, breath hitching, eyes glazing. He mumbled sultry words in your ear (‘you feel so good’) and you loved him. You would love him forever.
After you both reached your peak, he tucked you safely back into his chest and you loved that you could hear his heart beating his chest. Loved the way he tangled his hand in your hair and kissed your forehead. He breathed you in and you did the same, hand on his waist, heart in the sky.
You drifted off in his arms again and didn’t even notice him get up. Slept for hours despite the cold beside you and when your eyes finally opened again, finding him gone, you kind of expected it. You pulled your clothes back on and tried to ignore the chill in your bones because, everything was okay. It should have been okay.
You tip toed out into the hallway and watched him in the dark, him leaning against his couch, hand rubbing his face while he spoke hushed words into his phone.
You leaned your back against the wall away from him, stared at the gray paint in front of you and wished you could feel shocked. Surprised. Hurt.
“I’m sorry, I just can’t come tonight…” he said softly, and you wanted to leave. Wanted to avoid any more of his words, his lies, protect what shreds of heart you had left, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t move. Couldn’t think.
“Yuna don’t be like that. I can’t come because I’m busy. I’ll come tomorrow.”
How funny, you thought. That your heart could still bleed even though you had nothing left to give. You felt embarrassed, ashamed, and you couldn’t even blame him. You knew he wasn’t yours. He would never be yours.
“Yes, I promise. Bye.”
You could see him out of your peripheral vision, the toss of his phone on the couch. Running his hands through his hair. The deep sigh he let out while he looked up at the ceiling.
You wished things had been different. Wished you were nine years old again, running around your room and playing dragons, fighting off demons that made sense with the boy who breathed sunlight.
When he turned to walk back to the room, you could imagine the shock on his face when he saw you in the shadows of the hall. The worry. The regret. You stared at the wall across from you like you could hide in it, camouflage yourself for years and never come back to reality.
He stepped in front of you, hands gripping the sides of your face, lips pressing to yours and kissing like he actually meant it. Like you weren’t already gone. He pulled back after a few seconds and watched the way you withdrew. The way the light left your eyes when it had been right there an hour before.
“Let me explain.” He started, and your hands wrapped around his wrists.
He looked so desperate that you almost wanted to listen, but you couldn’t. Fear. It gripped you from the inside out and you couldn’t find the courage to hear him. You couldn’t handle the build-up, the continuous let down, the never-ending cycle where only you ever ended up losing.
It had to stop.
“No.”
You pulled his hands away, let them fall back to his sides, chose to stare at his chest to avoid the tears in his eyes. Panic rose in his features, but he couldn’t speak. Eyes darting back and forth as if he could search yours for an answer. As if he could build a place for himself inside you the way you continuously tried and failed to do the same with him.
“I’m done.”
It was amazing, that you still had tears left to cry, despite the emptiness that seeped back into your soul. You clawed you’re way back to empty. Back to the nothingness that creeped around you like an old friend because it was better than the heartbreak. The devastation.
You left the apartment without and word, and he didn’t follow.
The way the wind blew through your hair reminded you that you’re small. A tiny insignificant piece of the universe that meant close to nothing, but it just didn’t feel that way. The crack that spread through every fiber in your heart felt as though it mirrored in the way the wind broke through the trees. You felt like God knew how broken you were, and he let Mother Nature play out your heart break for all of his angels to see. Taught lessons on how to grow roots deep in the earth so they couldn’t be knocked down as easily as a stupid girl whose heart felt too much for a boy who couldn’t give her everything.
You wiped the tears from your cheeks and looked up the sky, but the stars weren’t there to greet you anymore. It was just darkness left, mirroring the way you felt, and it was okay.
The stars didn’t exist for a girl who deserved nothing.
-
Two weeks passed by like it was nothing, and you impressed yourself each day. Get out of bed, shower, brush your teeth, go to work, eat, sleep. You followed each step as if it were your religion, never stepped out of line, never tried anything new. You stopped talking to your friends, blocked everyone’s calls, everyone’s texts. You even stopped drinking. Stopped dreaming about your future, stopped smiling.
It just… it was better that way.
That’s why the world felt like it was ending when you left your apartment one morning and your father sat outside of your building in his car. You didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to talk to anyone or explain your absence, especially to someone who didn’t care, but it was unavoidable.
If you didn’t talk to him then, he would hassle you forever.
You got in the car after a few minutes hesitation and the driver immediately took off down the road. An hour later, you sat with a napkin in your lap at a too fancy restaurant for 10 a.m. on a Wednesday. You nudged your salad around with your fork and wished he would speak. Get to his point so you could get back to your schedule, your new normal.
“Come home. You can pack your things and I’ll have someone pick you up tomorrow.” His voice came out harsh. Careless. He didn’t seem to mind the hollowness in your cheeks. The dark circles under your eyes. It was only ever about the business. Family. “I let you have your fun for two years and you haven’t accomplished a thing besides embarrassing yourself as a groupie for an unsuccessful musician with no talent.”
You didn’t want to argue. Didn’t want to talk about any of it. So, you stayed quiet, eyes trained on the plate in front of you without answering him.
“I talked with Mr. Ahn a few days ago and he’s still willing to marry you. I think it’s what’s best for us.”
Your fork clattered on the glass as shock jolted through your limbs and you looked up at him for the first time. “Mr. Ahn?”
You could practically feel his lips on your neck again, the sight of his glassy eyes that didn’t care how much you said ‘no’. How much you begged him to stop. His fingers digging into your arm, pulling up your dress.
He hummed in response and you couldn’t help the scoff that left you. He looked up for just a moment, and the absolute lack of empathy that resided there made you sick.
“After what he did to me, you think I would still marry him?”
He smiled as he cut into another piece of his steak, but it didn’t meet his eyes. “I think I mentioned it before, years ago…” You stared at him with amazement and wondered how you got there. How you got through life with a parent like him, a soulless human being with no care for anyone but himself and his money.  “for family, you yield.”
The feeling that sunk in your chest was more upsetting than his actual words. Disappointment. Pity. You didn’t feel sorry for him, but for the ten-year-old girl in the hospital with no parents. No gifts. Your heart broke for her, her loneliness, and you wondered how you let him control your life through that. How you ever let him take you over and make you into the lonely mess of a human being you were now, when that ten-year-old girl deserved so much more.
Anger raged through your stomach at the memory of your young eyes in the mirror, the emptiness you always felt.
‘I don’t think anyone has ever told me that they love me’
You blamed him.
The fake laugh that took you over came in waves, red filling your vision like a fog, the feeling that you would explode any second nearly crippling. You stood up from the table and grabbed your bag, no more restraint to keep you there. No more ties.
“There’s a reason why we’re so different, ____.” He spoke, halting your steps as you turned away. “You’re weak. Always have been.”
You turned back and found it shocking that he actually looked at you. Saw you. You shook as you faced him fully and spoke even though you found it difficult to breathe.
“I’m weak?”
He nodded and wiped his lip with a napkin, looking out the window beside him. “I knew it as soon as you brought him home. Byun Baekhyun.” Disgust filled his features. “Like a lost puppy you had found in an alley. I knew you would abandon us for him. Neglect your responsibilities.”
You hated that he knew his name. Hated that someone so dark knew that someone so light existed. Someone so loving and kind and caring.
“You fall too easily. Too unrelentingly. You yield for something as minute as love but overlook the importance of family, the only bonding thing on earth.” He paused, looking at you again. “You are weak.”
His words were pointed spears, aiming to take you down, ruin you from the inside out, but it didn’t hurt. Didn’t leave you crumbling like he thought it would. Like you thought it would.
“Yielding for something you believe in, something you love-” you smiled though a tear slid down your cheek, courage you’d never felt in front of your father before surging through your words as you took a shuddering breath. “I have never felt weak with Baekhyun. He held my hand when I cried. Kissed me when I felt like dying. Made me laugh when I thought I would never laugh again. When I’m with him, I can see every star in the galaxy, and he has never made me feel as small as you do. He has never made me feel like I was just a pawn, a character in his story, as if I don’t have my own. So, don’t you dare say that my love for him made me weak.” You wiped the tears from your cheeks and stared at him resolutely, gaze unwavering. “My love for him is the only reason I survived the hell you put me through.”
You turned to leave, but paused, looking back at your father one more time. “Don’t ever come near me again.”
You watched him stiffen, brows furrowing, fists clenching.
That was the last time you ever saw him.
-
It was Sehun who picked you up down the street, let you sulk in silence on the way back to your apartment. You sat in front of your building for far too long, not ready to be alone, but still not ready to speak.
“Baek-”
You cut him off immediately, rocks in your throat “Don’t say his name.”
Your heart ached. Beat with trepidation, hesitancy, as if simply existing was too much for you to cope with at that moment. Your breathing grew heavier, eyes burning.
“Your parents made him push you away.”
The world reset.
The cars outside slowed down and moved in reverse, rain started falling against the car, beating lightly against the windows, mirroring the silent tears that fell down your cheeks.
You turned to look at him and felt dread settle in your bones. “What?”
His expression grew darker, hand clenching around the steering wheel as you tried to make sense of what he had said.
“In eleventh grade. They called him over to your house and threatened to uproot his life. His family. His music. All because they knew you would never leave him if he didn’t let you go.”
Your eyebrows scrunched together, pain ripping through you like a knife, bleeding you dry, sinking deeper and deeper as the world began catching up to you.
Suddenly everything that made no sense, made perfect sense. The years when he would hold you and keep you safe and brush away your tears in comparison to the recent ones, when he left you alone, begged you to leave, always rejected your advances. The years you had spent with him holding you at arms-length. The too often times he shut you out and pretended you didn’t exist.
You couldn’t breathe.
“He’s loved you since you were eight.”
His words were the last push you needed, peeling yourself out of his car and sprinting down the street as if you were flying. You couldn’t see faces as you passed them, couldn’t make out street signs or hear anything over the blood rushing through your head. His apartment wasn’t close enough, miles in between you and the words you needed to hear. The truth.
The rain fell upon you like in a downpour; wet slaps against the cheeks that masked the tears that flew down even faster.
When you sprinted up the stairs to his door, all you could hear was Sehun’s voice echoing in your head.
‘He’s loved you since you were eight’
You pounded on his door with no shame, yelling through choppy breaths. You called his name over and over, until your throat grew hoarse. Knocked for so long that your knuckles turned red.
“Baekhyun, it’s me! Please, open up!”
No response.
“Please, I’m sorry! Sehun told me, I’m so sorry!” You pressed your head against the cool wood of his door and covered your face with your hands.
‘Does he hate me?’
You turned around and sunk down onto the floor, let your knees fold into your chest so you could rest your head on them.
Memories of the days when Baekhyun would pull you into his chest and hold you there for hours floated through your mind and after all the years that you thought he was blind, you wondered how you could have ended up the same.
On your sixteenth birthday, Baekhyun woke you up with a kiss. You had wished for it the night before, always dreaming of your first kiss being him, but never expecting it would happen. He insisted over and over that he didn’t do it, but you could feel the press of lips against yours, like a ghost – there one second and gone the next. When you asked him about it, he laughed, ‘why would I kiss you?’.
The memory broke your heart. Not just for you, but for him. How terrifying it must have been to continue caring for you even from a distance when someone was threatening to destroy his life for it. Someone like your father. Your mother.
More tears filled your eyes and you sighed with embarrassment, exhaustion settling in as your shoulders sagged.
The beeping of a keypad had your eyes fluttering open sometime later and your heart fluttered at the feel of a hand running through your damp hair. You looked up with tired eyes to see Baekhyun and thought it was a dream, his had resting on your cheek. The overwhelming guilt took you over from the inside out and tears immediately filled you up you as he crouched down in front of you.
His eyes were so soft, so gentle, so loving.
You reached timid fingers out and touched his cheek, watched him lean into you without fear or resentment. You wanted him so badly, wanted him wholly and forever. Couldn’t you have him? Couldn’t life be simpler?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked with tears dripping down your face, throat tight and forehead crinkled together.
His eyes shimmered with sadness, eyebrows furrowing together as he swallowed hard.
You were the most pitiful thing he had ever seen.
He hooked an arm under your legs and pulled you to wrap your arms around his neck before hauling you off of the ground.
You held onto him so tight, probably too tight, but he didn’t complain. He walked you straight to the bathroom, sitting you on the toilet and stripping your rain-soaked clothes off before replacing them with one of his sweatshirts. He took your hand and led you into his room, helped you into bed before climbing in beside you.
You couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. Couldn’t bear seeing his stars and fearing they would show his resentment. Scared that he would hate you the way that you hated yourself.
“Look at me.” He said softly, and you shook your head, heart beating too hard against your ribs, like it was trying to break free.
It was too much. It was all too much.
His hands found your cheeks, tilting your head to look up towards him. You bit your lip uncomfortably, tried to avoid his eyes for as long as you could, but it was pointless.
“Sehun told me.” You started, eyes flickering up towards his. “About you and my parents.”
He was expressionless. For the first time in so long, you couldn’t understand anything he must have been thinking.
You looked back down at his chest and tried to keep your composure. “I’m so sorry.”
He pulled your face into his chest and immediately hushed you, kissed your forehead. Comforted you when it was the last thing you felt you deserved.
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
You grounded yourself with the sound of him breathing and told yourself over and over that it was okay because he was there. He was there and holding you and life made sense. This made sense.
When he pulled away, he brushed the tears from your cheeks and pressed the softest kiss to your lips. Sweet and tender and loving and Baekhyun.
“Don’t worry about the past. Let’s just worry about now, yeah?” He asked and you tried to understand, but you couldn’t.
“What if they ruin everything? What if my dad takes your music away?”
His smiled melted you, had your cheeks warming, heart racing. He reached soft fingertips up and brushed a few stray hairs out of your face. “You’re the only music I need.”
Your stomach fluttered with thousands butterflies that you’d buried years before at his words, the sparkle in his eyes. And then you remembered.
“What about Yuna?”
He sighed at your words, cinnamon breath washing over you like a welcome home. “I broke up with her the day before I found you at the river.”
Your eyes widened a little, confused. “But I heard you on the phone-”
“I was meeting her so she could get her stuff from my studio.”
A weight you didn’t realize was there lifted off of your shoulders and fluttered away.
His lips curled up into a knowing smile and you couldn’t find the heart to match it. All of the years you had spent blinded by your own love you couldn’t even see how much he was doing for you. How he was putting his life, his family’s life, in your father’s hands every time he picked you up while you were drunk. Every time he spent the night watching movies with you when he didn’t want to. Every night that he held your hand when life got too hard for you to handle alone.
“Hey,” his whispered voice called for your attention and you gave it willingly. When your eyes met his, your lip trembled. “can I tell you something?”
You nodded your head immediately, probably too eager.
He smiled and you watched the stars float from him. Watched them swirl with magic and pull you in the way they always did. Every milky way, every planet, every sun, every moon, all of the stars.
“I love you.”
They swallowed you up and welcomed you home.
Words you were hearing for the first time, swimming through your mind, from the only boy on Earth you ever wanted to hear them from. And they were real. And suddenly you realized it wasn’t the first time you had heard them before.
He loved you when you punched that boy in the face who called him ugly.
He loved you with tear stained cheeks in the hospital with no one left to hold your hand but him.
He loved your whiskey stained breath washing over him the first time you kissed him and hated himself when he pushed away.
He loved you with sand coated cheeks and messy hair crying in a sandbox at age eight.
“I’ll love you forever.”
His words settled into the deepest caverns of your heart, sprouted light and sunshine from your insides and suddenly, you were one of the stars he held inside. You were his sunshine in the same way he was yours. Type la supernova. Two stars colliding and bleeding their love for the entire galaxy to see.
Your fingers brushed against his cheeks, soft skin melting with the tips of your fingers. You pressed your chest impossibly closer to his and fell so far in love with the way his heartbeat matched yours. His eyes raked over you with curiosity as his hand traced down to your waist, noses bumping. You pressed your lips to his and felt your worlds colliding, not a single care for the destruction it could reap elsewhere.
Your parents didn’t matter. All of the longing, all of the tears, all of the heartbreak. None of it mattered when Baekhyun was there, and you swore that no matter what happened, you would fight for his sunshine. Through every lifetime, every hurricane, every avalanche that would try to break you, no matter what.
Baekhyun would be your galaxy until the end of time.
‘I’ll love you forever’
-
A/N hi. it me.
I really hope you guys enjoyed this story, my bby Baekhyun is literally one of my soul mates, I know that (he doesn’t know it, but I KNOW it ok? ok.), so I literally LOVE writing about him. Please leave your girl some messages/likes/reblogs, you guys left me so much love this last time I literally bragged to all of my friends how sweet you all are!! Thank you so much for supporting me, on the days that I feel low or less than, I come back and read through all of your comments and just fall in love all over with every single one of you. Have the best day y’all, I know you deserve it!!
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jaybear1701 · 3 years
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Pam can only stare wide-eyed at Ellen, wondering if she’s in a dream.
There’s no moon dust or space suits or a vast expanse of stars. And yet, somehow, Ellen standing in her classroom--nervous and expectant and achingly beautiful in gray slacks and a simple white blouse--feels even more surreal. She can’t bring herself to speak, afraid that if she makes an attempt, Ellen will vanish and Pam will once again wake up alone in the darkness of her bedroom.
“I’m sorry for showing up out of the blue like this,” Ellen breaks the silence. “But I was hoping we could talk?”
Pam’s lips part, but for someone who prides herself on her ability to capture the right words and construct them into the perfect turn of phrase, she’s still speechless. Each resounding thud against her ribs pumps out conflicting emotions into her buzzing bloodstream, surprise and confusion, elation and dread.
“Pam?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Somehow, Pam strings together a coherent sentence, her voice scratchy and low.
Ellen’s shoulders droop. “You know that’s not true.” She takes a tentative step closer, treating Pam like some skittish animal ready to bolt, which honestly isn’t too far from the truth. “Please, just five minutes.”
“I don’t really have time--”
“Five minutes,” Ellen repeats, firmer. “Hear me out, and then you’ll never have to see me again if you don’t want to.”
Self-preservation demands that Pam refuses. In the long run, it’d be better for them both to sever ties, clean and fast, without dragging things out. But she can’t, not with the way Ellen’s imploring her with those disarming brown eyes. Her heart won’t let her.
“Fine,” Pam acquiesces. “Five minutes. But not here.”
“Okay,” Ellen exhales in relief.
Unsteadily, Pam pushes up from her desk to stand, grabbing her messenger bag and slinging its strap over her shoulder. She exits the classroom with Ellen in tow, and heads toward her office.
A million questions swirl in Pam’s head. Why are you here? How did you even know where to find me? But she bites her tongue. The hallways of the community college aren’t the place to air things out. Ellen follows her wordlessly, maintaining a respectful distance as she glances furtively at Pam out of the corner of her eye. They’re halfway to her office when someone calls out for Pam.
“Ms. H!”
One of her first-year students, Valerie, rushes to catch up to them with a fistful of papers in hand. “I forgot to give you a draft of my manuscript before the final.” She comes to an abrupt stop when she notices Pam has company, eyes widening. “Holy shit, you’re Ellen Wilson!”
Ellen’s brows shoot up, still surprised when someone recognizes her despite more than a decade in the public eye. “Oh, yes, that’s me.” She offers a hand that Valerie shakes with great enthusiasm “Hi, um....”
“Valerie. But everyone calls me Val.”
“Nice to meet you, Val.”
“Wow.” Val runs a hand through the unshaved side of her red hair. “You know an astronaut?” She asks Pam incredulously. “How on earth do you know an astronaut?!”
“Long story,” Pam replies with a taut smile.
“I’ll bet.” Val says, starstruck. “I saw you on TV when I was a kid, catching that tank. You’re amazing!”
Smiling sheepishly, Ellen ducks her head. “Thank you. Feels like it was a lifetime ago now.”
“I’ll bet. And, hey, sorry to hear you left NASA.”
Pam’s stomach bottoms out as her head snaps toward Ellen. “You what?” She shakes her head, unsure she heard correctly.
Ellen’s eyes slide to Pam briefly before focusing back on Valerie. “It was the right time.”
Val shrugs. “Gotta know when to fold ‘em. Do you know what you’ll do now?”
“Oh, you know, just take it easy while I weigh some options.” Ellen shifts her weight from one foot to another, nonchalant, like it’s no big deal. Like she didn’t just walk away from a hard-earned career and upward mobility.
Pam’s head swims at the revelation, knees wobbly, but manages to change the subject. “You said you have your manuscript, Valerie?”
“Oh, yeah.” Val hands over her papers. “Thanks again for taking a look.”
“No problem.” Pam slides the manuscript into her bag, hoping the tremor in her hands isn’t too obvious.
“What’s it about?” Ellen asks politely.
“Oh,” Val grins, flattered, tucking her hands in the pockets of her black leather jacket. “Just my humble contribution to the cyberpunk genre. You ever watch Blade Runner?”
“I did! It was, uh, interesting.”
“Yeah! Well, it’s similar to that. Though I’m guessing you’re more into Ms. H’s sci-fi.”
“You write science fiction?” Ellen asks Pam, curious.
“Ms. H, you should tell her about your story about the astronauts exploring Mars.”
Ellen’s eyebrows rise slowly, and Pam coughs to hide the blush she already knows is heating her cheeks. “Some other time, maybe,” Pam says. “I’ll touch base with you after the holidays?”
“That’d be great.” Valerie grins. “Thanks again, Ms. H. And nice meeting you, Mrs. Wilson. Er, Commander.”
“Just Ellen will do,” Ellen chuckles, waving goodbye to the retreating student. “So,” Ellen says as they resume walking. “You’re writing about Martian explorers?”
“You’ve got five minutes. Do you really want to spend it talking about my work?” Pam retorts, face still flushed, when they finally reach her office.
Ellen doesn’t respond as Pam unlocks the door, turns on the light, and leads them inside. “Have a seat.” She maneuvers behind her desk and sits, already feeling more at ease in her own space, like she can recapture a modicum of control over her warring emotions. In red, glowing numbers, the answering machine by her phone shows she has about half a dozen messages waiting.
If Ellen’s nervous or uncomfortable on Pam’s turf, she doesn’t show it while she drinks in the small office, taking in the framed diplomas on the walls, crammed bookshelves, and stacks of paper on her desk. She lowers herself into the chair across from Pam.
“I’m not really sure where to start.” Ellen folds her hands in her lap, gaze determined and unwavering. “So I’ll start by saying this: I’m not here to upset you, though I can tell by the look on your face I already have. But, please believe me when I say that’s the last thing I ever want. Okay?”
“Okay.” Pam can already feel her pulse starting to accelerate.
Ellen takes a deep breath. “I wanted… I needed to see you. To understand why you left.”
Pam’s chest instantly clenches in response. There was a reason she hadn’t wanted to see Ellen, who could read her so well she’d know instantly that Pam was lying. “I explained it in my letter.” Schooling her expression, she sticks with the same narrative.
“You said your heart still belongs to Elise.”
Pam inclines her head forward. That is what she wrote, after all.
“Then why aren’t you with her.” It’s not a question.
It feels like all the air has rushed out of the room, and Pam thinks this is the closest she’ll ever come to experiencing life in a vacuum. It’s so quiet that she can hear the scuff of sneakers on the floor outside her office door.
Ellen scoots forward in her seat, words coming faster now. “I called your house, trying to reach you.”
“You what?”
“Elise picked up instead.”
Pam’s stomach twists.
“She said you weren’t together,” Ellen continues. "That you moved out weeks ago.”
Anger lances through Pam, white and hot. “Ellen, you had no right.” Her voice is strained from keeping her temper under control.
“Maybe so,” Ellen concedes, but she doesn’t look repentant at all. “But you also said we owe each other the truth. So what is it?”
“Your five minutes are up.” Pam knows she’s being irrational, but she doesn’t care. Clinging to her outrage is preferable to succumbing to her spiraling panic at being called out on her lie.
Ellen lets out an incredulous laugh. “Just like that?”
“Just like that,” Pam confirms, crossing her arms as if that would shield her from the growing tumult between them. “Please leave.”
Ellen just stares at her, unblinking, before she shakes her head. “No.”
“Excuse me?”
“I told you once before that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep you. And I’m not leaving until I get the truth.”
Ellen’s eyes are dark, earnest. Pam hates that she’s not immune to them and, if she’s honest with herself, never will be. Her traitorous heart’s already melting, but Pam’s nothing if not stubborn and she sets her mouth in a thin, hard line. “Then I’ll go.”
She gets up to leave, not even bothering to grab her bag, but Ellen rushes to her feet and blocks her path--not unlike the time at The Outpost years ago, after Pam had given her ultimatum about Ellen’s marriage to Larry.
They’re close, too close that it makes Pam dizzy, and she has to take a step back. Ellen reaches out to Pam, but stops before she can make contact. Her right hand hovers in the air for several long seconds before it drops back to her side.
“Please don’t be angry,” Ellen pleads.
“A little too late for that.”
“I know.” Ellen’s brow furrows, but still she doesn’t move.
“Then please go,” Pam says in a pained whisper. “Or let me go.”
“I can’t.” The crack in Ellen’s voice splits straight down Pam’s heart. “I love you, Pam. Always have. Always will.”
Pam squeezes her eyes shut. The room feels like it’s tilting on its axis.
“If you don’t feel the same, then…”Ellen’s throat constricts as she swallows. . “Then that’s fine. I’ll learn to live with that. But I just need to know. Please.”
When she opens them, Pam’s eyes are full, stinging. “You know I do.”
“Then why…”
“Because sometimes it’s not enough!”
Confusion etches across Ellen’s features, wrinkling her forehead and tugging the corners of her lips down. “Enough for what?”
“For us to work, Ellen.” Pam wipes away a tear that’s trickled down her cheek. “We live in completely different worlds.”
Ellen’s next response is drowned out by the telephone, its shrill ring cutting through the air. For a moment, Pam’s paralyzed, unable to move beneath Ellen’s piercing gaze, both of them breathing heavily. By the fourth ring, Pam snaps out of it. She walks back behind the desk, inhales, exhales, and picks up the receiver.
“Pam Horton.”
It’s the dean’s secretary, asking her to drop by the office before she leaves for the day. Pam normally dreads having to meet with the dean, never quite enjoying the administrative aspects of her job, but right now she’s relieved to have an excuse to end this conversation with Ellen before she does or says anything more that she’ll regret.
“Yes, ma’am, of course,” Pam says as Ellen’s eyes track her movements. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
After she hangs up the phone, she clears her throat. “I’m sorry, but I have to get back to work.”
Ellen looks like she wants to object, but ultimately she retreats back a step. She doesn’t sit back down. Pam’s not sure if she feels relieved or disappointed.
“I understand.” She self-consciously tucks her hair behind her ears. “Can we at least talk later?”
Pam’s mind shouts no. Her heart screams yes. Her mouth lands somewhere in between. “I don’t know,” she says lamely. “We’re wrapping up finals… you know how it goes.”
Ellen’s looking at her like this might be the last opportunity she’ll have to do so. “Well, if you find yourself with some free time, I’m staying at the Driskill ‘til the end of the week.”
The Driskill is the oldest hotel in Austin, right in the heart of downtown. Iconic. Historic. Perfectly suited for someone of Ellen’s background and stature. And much too rich for Pam’s blood. It’s so fitting that Pam doesn’t know whether she wants to laugh or cry.
“We’ll see,” she says.
Ellen nods slowly before turning toward the door. But her hand stills on the knob, and Pam finds herself holding her breath.
“Maybe we do live in different worlds.” Ellen smiles sadly over her shoulder. “But we could create a new one. Together.”
With that, she’s gone. The door softly clicks shut. And it takes all of Pam’s willpower not to follow.
23 notes · View notes
victoria-daydreams · 3 years
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Of Vices and Virtues
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Chapter Three: Budding Relationships
AN: Each chapter I post I gain more and more readers, and I thank you all!
Word Count: 3.7k
Trigger Warnings: violence, mention of hate crimes
Chapter Four: Enter Sebastian Shaw
Today we had the day off, since the teenagers proved to Charles and Erik they were not prepared to go along with them to ambush Shaw. So, I was once again approved as being the babysitter while Charles, Erik, and Moira go to Russia. I shook my head and chuckled at Erik's and I conversation before he left with Charles and Moira.
Erik laughed mockingly and clapped his hands together, "Are you sure you want her as a babysitter Charles? She did such a horrible job last time,"
Irritation filled me, and I glared daggers at him "Careful, Erik," I said with mock sweetness. "Or you'll find yourself crying like a spoiled two year old," I threatened.
He grinned boyishly despite my threat.
I was currently sitting on the couch with the others in an identical hangout room with another book in my hand. Except this one had a pinball machine, and overlooked a statueless courtyard. Plus, this room had all its windows. Angel, Hank, Raven, Sean, and I were all sitting on the leather couches. Honestly, it didn't surprise me when Sean sat with the girls and I, he just wouldn't give up. Alex and Darwin were playing on the pinball machines, and Alex was beating him rather badly.
"Jesus man, you are KILLING me." Darwin complained, as Alex focused intently at the pinball machine.
"Don't beat yourself up, I had a lot of spare time,"
Alex's last remark confused me. Hank had said that he'd been in prison for the last four years, and I don't think they gave their prisoners meaningless arcade machines. The thought quickly leaves my mind as I heard two CIA agents talking loudly.
"Oh, I didn't know the circus was in town!" an arrogant CIA agent caught my attention. "Hey, come on honey, give us a little uh..." doing a terrible impression of Angel's wings, I could hear her mutter 'no' under her breath, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "No? Come on, let's see the foot," the agent jeered.
I could feel the anger starting to rise up inside of me, as I felt the happiness in the room subsided. Hank got up and walked to the button that closes the curtains.
"There it is, come on Big Foot. Let's go," Hank saluted the man mockingly, as the curtains closed."Hey, come on. Hey!" As Hank sat back down, the room fell silent, except the soft pinging of the pinball machine.
"They're just guys being stupid," Raven comforted, just realizing how much this actually upset Angel.
"Guys being stupid I can handle. Okay, I've handled that my whole life!" she snapped. "But I'd rather a bunch of guys stare at me with my clothes off than the way these ones stare at me!" Angel snapped again, disheartening Raven, who still wasn't completely over last night's events.
More silence.
"At us," Raven added sadly, Angel turned away guiltily, for lashing out on Raven, but there was no way she was going to apologize for it.
A flood of self-consciousness and self-loathing assaulted me, I tried to focus on my physical surroundings, rooting my thoughts enough to sort out my emotions and bring them under control. My hands balled into fists, my entire body tense. I brought my hand to my temple and massaged it with two fingers in an attempt to ease the pain.
Raven's soft voice called across from me, "Sorry, Claudia. Did we bother you?"
"Bother her?" Angel scoffed, voice dripping with attitude. "How could we have bothered her? She has an invisible mutation, no one could ever bother her,"
I forced a smile. Her attitude was merely an obnoxious mask for her fragile heart. I set my copy down of Jane Erye onto the table.
"You're right, Angel. The only thing I have to be bothered about is people wanting to see me swing from a tree," I quipped darkly. "And you know, gaining basic civil rights," I added, my eyes narrowed slightly.
Our bitter conversation is brought to an end by the abrupt sound of a thud coming from outside. We stared at each other in confusion before I stood up, sensing danger. We stayed still for a moment, listening to the thuds, there's silence and then there's a whooshing sound.
"This doesn't feel right," Darwin muttered, before striding over to the curtains and pressing the button to open them. Alex gives the pinball machine one last flick and then followed him. Outside, there was nothing. We gathered around the clear, glass window looked at each other, confused. I waited tersely, my eyes darting back and forth.
"Do you sense something, Claudia?" Raven asked.
"Something's wrong," I whispered, but only Raven heard me. She shot me a curious glance, but was stopped from saying anything by Alex.
"What is that?" Alex demanded, pointing at the black figures blocking the light of the moon.
The light made it only a silhouette, preventing us from seeing what it truly was, all we could see that a silhouette was holding up another silhouette.
And then it isn't.
I cried out in pain as I felt the fear and pain of a man dying strong in my mind. I tried to relax the man, but he was already dead. Just as I opened my eyes, a body came crumbling down to the ground and smashing instantly right in front of the window causing causing all of us to jump back in surprise. I let out a gasp as Angel and Raven let out a scream in horror, clutching tightly onto my arm. I heard more screams and felt more pain as more men started to fall from the sky.
Suddenly, the roof lights flickered on, the sky is littered with falling bodies crashing in various sights around the buildings, the sound of screams and smashing glass, filling our ears. Guards rushed out of the buildings, positioning themselves surrounding the window, blocking us from harms way. They signaled for us to move out of the way, as more attacks proceeded. I searched for the mind that kept killing the CIA agents, but couldn't seem to keep a right mind. Raven let out another scream as an agent tumbled from the sky and into the glass roof outside
Terror filled the room, seeping into my every pore.
"Get back! Get back! Do not leave that room, we are under attack!" A man without a gun shouted.
In a flash of flames, the red man dressed well in a suit appeared in a puff of smoke and we all screamed for the agents to turn around. Taking them by surprise. The guards taking a few moments for it to register before beginning to shoot at him. It was too late, he was gone.
The glass shattered as a bullet hit the window, and we rushed to duck behind the sofa, screams filled my ears. Darwin stood closest to the edge, his arms stretched out to shield us from the oncoming storm. A tornado appeared, swiftly making it's way around the other side of the building, ripping apart what Hank had called 'Cerebro'. I didn't want to watch Hank's pained expression, when he saw his hard work torn away, but I could feel Hank radiating sadness and frustration.
"Stay here, my ass!" Darwin shouted to us, making his way towards the door. Running out into the corridor, we were stopped by some more guards.
"GET BACK!" the agents screamed at us.
"We can help! We can help!" Darwin tried to plead, but we're just pushed back.
Deep down, I knew Darwin realized that we couldn't.
Raven's hysterical, a complete mess. I managed to calm her emotions down with my empathic powers, but she somehow overruled that and became anxious once more. A wave of heat hits me, followed by an immense explosion. Raven screamed as agents are sucked into the flames, and we run back to where we were. Met with more destruction, back into the room, the tornado was moving closer and most of the guards were dead, falling down, one by one. Raven sobbed louder and screamed again when an agent is launched through the only remaining window by the hurricane. I can't be the only person to notice that we've completely backed ourselves into a corner.
The red man stabbed the last agent and Raven whimpered. A good looking Spanish man and the one that closely resembled most people's portrayal of the devil, stepped over the window, entering the room, one on each side. We were closed in.
Someone fired another shot and Raven screamed again.
"Wait, wait! You want the mutants? They're right through that door! Just let us normal people go! We're no threa-" a muffled voice is cut off and Raven's face changed into one of disgust.
A helmeted man, who was easily in his forties, walked through the door. To be honest, he looked kind of stupid.
"Where is the telepath?" The man in the helmet asked, as if it were no big deal that they just killed hundreds of men.
"Not here," The devil looking man noted, you could tell who was in charge there and it definitely wasn't him.
"Too bad," The other man smiled. "Well, at least I can taking this silly thing off," he stated, pulling the helmet off and ran his fingers through his long hair, pushing it back into its place.
At least we agree on something, he does look entirely silly.
But how would that helmet protect his thoughts from a telepath like Charles? No one in the room could read his mind, but I could read his emotions and I knew that he was bad news, there was a danger radiating from him, anyone could feel that. My mind filled with the echoes of his thoughts tied to one specific emotion. Hatred. War, survival, the strongest race. He was thinking of things beyond what we were anticipating.
"Good evening," he addressed us. "My name's Sebastian Shaw. And I am not here to hurt you,"
I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "Liar. Your little sidekicks just murdered a fleet of CIA agents," I thought.
A lone agent appeared across the courtyard.
"Freeze!"
"Azazel?" Shaw lazily ordered
He disappeared, appearing again outside, swiftly killing the man and teleported back.
Shaw turned back to us, "My friends," He took another step towards us, handing his helmet to the Spanish man. "There's a revolution coming, when mankind discovers who we are, what we can do. Each of us will face a choice: be enslaved, or rise up to rule," His eyes lingered on me for longer than I would have liked. But Shaw was not done yet. "Choose freely, but know that if you are not with us then you are, by definition, against us,"
"So. You can stay, fight for the people that hate and fear you. Or, you can join me, and live like kings," he looked to the boys, none of them attempting to make a move. Then he looked to Angel, standing in front of me. "And queens," He holds his hand out to her and Angel took it with almost no hesitation. I couldn't help sending her a look of pure disgust.
"Angel..." Raven's voice dropped in disappointment, although I didn't particularly like her, it didn't mean I wanted this to happen.
"You kidding me?" Sean's face dropped, he enjoyed flirting with Angel the most, but I never imagined he would be this crushed.
Angel looked back at us, "Come on," she commanded, gesturing towards us. "We don't belong here and that's nothing to be ashamed of,"
Darwin reached out to her, but Angel turned away, ignoring us.
"We have to do something," Raven insisted.
Alex and Darwin exchange a few harsh whispers. Alex pushed Darwin in the side and Darwin turned away.
"Stop. I'm coming with you," Darwin announced, stepping over what was left of the window. Angel smiled, clearly pleased someone had listened to her speech, even Shaw seemed momentarily pleased.
I watched in disbelief as Darwin moved towards the line of mutants. Shaw stepped towards him.
"Good choice. So tell me about your mutation," He said slyly.
"Well I adapt to survive," Darwin explained, Alex lead us into the center of the room. "So I guess that means I'm coming with you," Darwin finished.
Shaw nodded, "I like that," Shaw signaled for him to join Angel and Darwin stood next to Angel.
"ALEX!" Darwin yelled, forming a rock solid barrier and dipping Angel to protect her.
"Get down!" Alex shouted, shoving us out of harms way, sending rings of energy, launching at Shaw, Alex grinned momentarily before his face dropped.
We watched in horror as Shaw had somehow absorbed his energy. I raised my hand to send a telekinetic blast towards Shaw and that's when everything else became a blur, and before I knew it Azazel vanished, and appeared right in front of me within a blink an eye. His tail wrapped around my throat, I yelped lightly when my feet left the floor, kicking out blindly, but my five five frame wasn't really doing anything to stop this man who was nearly a foot taller than I was. I clawed at his tail so air could fill my lungs again, but it was a futile effort as he only tightened his grip
"Protecting your fellow mutants? That's a noble gesture," He shivered slightly, who wouldn't after absorbing that much power. Darwin got up, confused, and Angel moved back towards the Spanish man. "Feels good," Shaw shrugged his shoulders a little and let out a smirk.
"Azazel drop her," Azazel did as he was command, air filled my lungs but only momentarily. As soon as Azazel dropped me, Shaw's hand clasped around my neck, and brought me up off of my feet. I gagged on his choking grasp, my hands once again trying to claw it off my neck. "Now who's this?" Shaw wondered aloud a small sinister smile on his lips, his eyes scanning my body over.
The very air that he gave off was dangerous and intimidating. I mean that was obvious when he first walked through the doors, but it was made all the more clearer now that I was only inches from his face.
It was his eyes. Those eyes that looked right through me and held no warmth.
"Her name is Claudia," Angel spoke up. If Shaw wasn't choking the life out of me right now I would be livid with Angel telling him my name and for betraying us. "She can manipulate emotions, she could come with us," Angel suggested, with a rather large smile on her face.
"Yes, she could," Shaw agreed, nodding his head. "With your abilities, I'm sure you'll be very valuable to us. Your power is very interesting, Claudia," Shaw stated, and a shiver went down my spine when he said my name.
"No...it's not," I managed to utter out.
"Oh to me it is," Shaw disagreed, a menacing smile on his face. "With your abilities, I'm sure we'll be able to control anyone at will. We'll make an army. We'll be unstop-"
"No!" I hissed.
"What?"
"Go...to...hell!" I wheezed out.
"Hmm, it's too bad really, a beautiful woman like you..I saw so much potential in you," Shaw snarled gleefully, then swung his free hand, as it connected to the right side of my face, some of the energy from Alex's power thrown with it, causing me to see stars on impact. He threw me into the wall, my limp body collided with the drywall.
The room seemed to fade, leaving stars in my eyes and I felt my adrenaline crash, but surprising felt more energy than I ever had before.
Shaw turned sharply to Darwin. Darwin goes to throw a punch, but is quickly blocked. Shaw grabbed his mouth. "Adapt to this," Shaw whispered, and we watch, horrified expressions on our faces, as he puts all of Alex's energy into Darwin's mouth.
I watched as darkness slowly crept into my vision as Shaw, Azazel, the Spanish man, and Angel disappeared into a burst of flames. That's when I see Darwin standing there, convulsing.
Darwin tried to find different ways to adapt, but Alex's power was able to destroy the barrier. I watched him turn to platinum, then rock as the plasma burnt within, the orange-red glow peeking out of the rock like lava until he turned to solid rock. Then he realized it just wasn't going to work. He faced Alex and the rest of us, the blonde's eyes widened with terror, as he watched his new friend slowly die. Darwin looked over at Alex with black eyes, as he reached out, wordlessly and the stone started to break apart again. Then the cracks of Darwin's form brightened, and he exploded into only bits and pieces.
And just like that, he was gone forever.
Everyone all stood for a few moments in silence. Then the whole cataclysm sunk in, and everyone began scrambling around. Hank ran out the door saying he was going to find a first aid kit for me, Sean and Raven took baby steps towards where Darwin had diminished, and Alex rushed over to me, examining me. I already felt my face was swelling black and blue, a little shadow of blood remained under my head.
My vision was almost completed darkened, but my eyes met Alex's and in that instant, I knew how much he was hurting. He practically killed a man. Just as the thought crossed my mind, Alex spoke.
"H-He's gone. I k-k- I-I kill-killed him," Alex stuttered, his expression full of devastation.
"No, you didn't," I whispered, feeling even more drained as the seconds passed. "Trust me,"
"Claudia!"
I heard someone yell. But I couldn't tell who it was, for I slipped into unconsciousness and let the darkness envelope me before the person could call my name again.
~~~x~~~
When I awoke my body was no longer on the cold, hard ground of the rec room, but instead on the lumpy mattress I've become used to. Someone must have carried me. I managed to sit up a little less than an inch before my head started spinning and pain shot through my spine causing me to lie back down and gasp loudly.
Pain.
It's a slightly indescribable sensation; all one can really use is a mix of adjectives and synonyms, and even then one couldn't fully describe what they were feeling. Just what the pain feels like, using personifications and such. Right now, I felt like someone had beaten the tar out of me, which is what exactly happened. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to blink, it even hurt to think of even possibly moving again. I couldn't open my eyes, as they were held close with hard crust. I tried to push them open, but could only pry open my left eye, as the more I pushed myself in opening the right one, the more it hurt.
My brown orb peered around the room, my vision was still blurry. It was two o'clock in the morning if I read the time right. It had been fours hours since Darwin's death.
A tear rolled down my cheek, wiping it away. I couldn't tell if it was on my own volition or if I was just channeling everyone's emotions. I didn't want to cry, but I could no longer control it, when tears kept effortlessly sliding down my face. I looked through my tears, and I knew I wouldn't be sleeping for the rest of the night. I touched my head lightly, as I felt a long bandage wrapped around it. It was so sore, and gave little jolts of pain every time I picked up on someone's feelings.
I slowly slid out of the comforts of a bed that wasn't truly mine and let short, loud cry of pain as I moved. I stood up too quickly and a wave of dizziness hit me like a truck, causing me to plop back down onto the bed until it passed. I pushed myself up off the bed again and trudged to the door and into the hallway, I was put in a room at the end of the corridor that seemed to remain untouched by the events, I realized nobody would dare go back to our old rooms, they were just rubble and dust.
It was everywhere. The scent of burned flesh made my stomach turn, and the smoke stung my eyes. I felt sick to my stomach, but there was nothing to vomit. I could feel sweat trickle down the back of my neck, mixing painfully with the open wounds there, but I didn't close my eyes. My stomach was twisted into knots, and it was all I could do not to break down and cry. The pain from everyone else was what was kill me.
Fear. Anger. Despair. Disgust. Malice. Painpainpainpainpain-
I threw myself against the cold, concrete wall in effort to keep myself upright and placed my overheated forehead on the wall to ground me. I breathed deeply, my chest heaving and summoned up what little strength I had to push on.
I wandered more and I found an abandoned bathroom with shattered mirrors and glass coating the ground. I lingered in the doorway, not wanting to take the chance that I might cut my feet open on the shattered fragments. But one of the mirrors was intact, except for a slight, thin crack in the upper right hand corner. It was across from me and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. That in itself wasn't unusual, but it wasn't my face that stared back at me.
My hair was limp black and my eye a dull, muddy color. I stepped closer to the mirror, forgetting about the damned glass. And dear Lord, my face. I looked paler than usual and exhausted, worn out. Not to mention a god damn black eye.
I raked my fingers through my black hair to sort out the tangles, letting out a huff of air, a sardonic laugh escaped from lips.
"This is what I left the comforts of New York for? Death and destruction?"
Chapter Five: A Place to Call Home
58 notes · View notes
damn-stark · 3 years
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I missed you
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Reiner Braun x reader
Requested by anon “Are you asking for Reiner's request? I have one! How about a NSFW and hurt/comfort drabble about S4 Reiner x female reader where he’s depressed and thinks like he’s undeserving of any sort of kindness or affection but reader comforts him? Reader was Reiner's former partner in the scouts and one of his best friends before he reveals himself as a titan shifter. She no longer hates him. Reiner being a sub. If you don't want to do it NSFW, just do it fluff. Fluff is fine too! Add some angst. Thanks!”
A/N- sorry if this wasn’t the smut you, but since what they talk about is serious, I wanted to keep it serious
Warning- Angst, slight sexual intentions but nothing to grande, talk of death and low
———-
“Come on,” you whisper as you take Reiners hand and pull him with you deeper into the woods.
“I guess old habits don’t die. You still like sneaking around, huh?”
You smirk and look at him over your shoulder, “I do remember you would follow me...like now.” You return your eyes to your designated path ahead and you make sure not to get seen by the soldiers keeping watch from the trees above. “Plus it’s okay to—”
“Have a little fun.” Reiner finishes for you. “Yeah you would say that too,” he finishes with a soft chuckle.
You express a lighthearted scoff and quietly continue manuerving to the place you had intended taking him, making it to the last obstacle in your way and having to push away some branches, and going through some tall bushes to finally make it to the cliff that overlooked a big beautiful lake that reflected the moon in the sky.
You pull your hand from Reiners grip and walk to the edge, crouching down to pick up a small stone and throwing it as far as you could over the cliff. “I really do wish we were by the ocean,” you groan as you sit down on the edge and admire the view nonetheless. “The world is so big and we were blind and naive before, hidden from it all.” You slide your eyes to the side to see Reiner sit at your side, looking at you instead of looking out at the glimmering lake. “And let’s not talk about the food,” you muse with a happy smile on your lips. “It’s all so good, I could cry right now.” You fall back to rest your head on his shoulder. “You truly were hiding all of it.”
“I…” he begins to stammer, losing that happy spark in his eyes.
“Reiner, I was just teasing.” You chuckle while you pull away and turn slightly to be able to face him, moving your hand to cup his cheek and let your eyes wonder his face as your smile widened. “Don't worry about it.”
Even before, when you had seen him for the first time after four years, you instantly took notice that he had grown taller, that he had let his beard grow on his face, that he had lost weight and his cheeks were now slightly more hallowed in; you noticed that he was also more handsome. The only thing that was the same, was his pretty gold eyes.
“Reiner,” you finally mutter with a smirk, “you know, I really like your beard, I think it suits you very well.” You begin to gently caress his cheek and notice the smile slowly tugging on his lips.
“You think so?” He asks almost unsurely.
“Mhmm,” you lean closer and see him swallow thickly, see as his eyes like yours drift down to each other’s lips. You don’t hesitate to close the gap slowly, pressing a gentle kiss on his lips, and then moving to press a kiss on his cheek to then whisper by his ear. “You know, I missed you.” You move and swing your legs over either side of his lap and slide your hands over his biceps and slide them to his shoulders to then wrap them around his neck. “So much.”
Reiner carefully places his hands on your hips and he presses a kiss on your jaw.
“After all this time?” He queried, “even after all I did?”
You move to meet his gaze and you sigh out slowly, “I’ve had four years to be mad at you, I wanted to hate you, but I couldn’t. Reiner…” you pause and offer him a soft smile, seeing his eyes gleam and reflect the moonlight behind you and your face as you stay before him. “I love you, and I have since before you left.”
Reiner smiles and he lifts his hands to cup your cheeks, leaning in and pulling you in for a deep, yet short kiss that he began to slowly pull away from to then whisper his own comment by your lips, glancing repeatedly from your lips and to your eyes. “Im...in love with you too.”
A grin slowly spreads on your lips and you once again close the small gap left between you too to kiss him, sliding your hands to the back of his head to knot your fingers in his hair, feeling how soft it felt in between your fingers. Reiner proceeds to slowly skim his fingers down your body, creating chills all over your body yet not making you falter. Instead you proceeded to part his lips as you slide your tongue over his bottom lip, the sensation of your tongue over his lip making him shiver and causing him to express a soft moan in the back of his throat.
You smirk and pull away to start leaving warm and wet kisses on his jaw and down to his neck, you pause and let your lips brush over a part of his skin, pressing small kisses on that piece of skin and beginning to whisper what you had already told him, but what you couldn’t hold back. “I missed you. I missed talking to you and I missed kissing you.”
Reiner lets out a shaky breath and his fingers dig into your hips, he keeps quiet and let’s you continue kissing his skin, let’s you take the piece of his skin in between your teeth to gently suck on it and make him express another moan.
You slide your hands down to the button of his shirt to rip his shirt apart, pulling your head away and meeting his gaze to offer him a sweet mile, but before you could remove his shirt his hand cupped your cheeks and he tilted your head so your eyes met his once again. A smile decorates his features, but it slowly falls and made your breathing calm and your own smile falter.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”
You pull away from his hold and your lips drop to form a frown. “What...what are you talking about?”
Reiner raises his hands and tries to again get a hold of your face so you’d listen, but they just hovered over your cheeks as he shook his head and began to explain himself in a shaky voice. “I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you, or the kindness and love you give me.” He inhaled deeply and shakily exhaled, showing tears well in his eyes whilst he pulled back and got on his knees instead. “I don’t deserve to live after what I did, I-I’m a despicable human being.”
“Reiner,” you interject softly, dropping the anger that had begun to boil and replacing it with deep concern. “Reiner don’t say that—”
“But it’s true,” he raises his voice as more tears stream down his face and he falls on his hands and knees. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, not after the pain I caused you. Not after the pain I caused our comrades.” He cries out, digging his fingers into the ground while his body trembled. “I love you, but I can’t let you love me. I can’t do this, just kill me!”
You hesitate for a moment, remain speechless and with your head full of racing thoughts; tears sting your eyes and you can’t find what to do or say to him to comfort him. All you could piece together was the whisper of his name, “Reiner…”
Reiner sobbed to the ground and made your own tears roll down the curve of your cheeks, you didn’t agree with anything he said, it upset you deeply that he would say that about himself. Actually the way he expressed himself left you in disbelief.
What you start to do is crawl closer to him, placing a hand on the back of his head and tilting your head down to try and see his face and eyes. But failing to do so as he kept his head down.
“Reiner,” you whisper, “please look at me.”
Said man doesn’t listen and keeps himself down and cries more softly than before.
“Look at me.” You say in a more strict tone, slowly earning what you demanded and seeing his gold eyes look up at you. “Yes, what you may have done was bad, but I know why you did it, I know why you left, I knew why you did everything past that. It’s not because you’re a bad person, it’s because you were just doing what you thought was right, we were both raised differently, and after spending time undercover where you were raised I understand why you did it, I would’ve done it too. You don’t deserve to die, and you do deserve all the love in the world.” You cup his cheeks and offer him a gentle and assuring smile. “Don’t blame yourself, all that matters is that you’re doing what’s right now.”
Reiner gets on his knees and you proceed to wipe the tears off his cheeks to continue. “You’re a good man, I see the way you’re with your cousin and I notice the way she admires you. You go out of your way to help and protect people, you’re trying to save humanity and I admire that. You have to live to see the peace your efforts will cause.” You laugh softly and press your forehead against his, “you’re important Reiner. Not only to me, but to your cousin, that little boy that came with her, the rest of your family and to humanity.”
Reiner cups your hands and you notice that he calms down, his breathing is shaky and his eyes are still glossy, but he isn’t crying anymore. His lips are formed into a sad frown, but you notice relief in his eyes.
“I love you,” you whisper, “and I always have and I always will.”
A soft and small smile tugs on his lips and he gently squeezes your hands. “Thank you. I love you.” He whispers. “Thank you.”
You pull away and move to sit beside him, interlacing your hand with his and resting your head on his shoulder. “Why don’t we stay here for another little while before we go back, yeah?”
“Sounds good.” He assures you.
349 notes · View notes
slytherinbarnes · 4 years
Text
Sub Rosa [65]
vii. acceptable losses
Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader
Word Count: 5.3k
Warnings: mentions of anxiety, nausea, creepy parasitic worms, death.
Summary: Preparations for the war against the Eligius prisoners continues, and you and Monty make a horrifying discovery in the process.
a/n: i’ve been enjoying reading everyone’s reactions for s5! there’s a little less drama in this update, but things start to pick up again on friday! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!
previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist
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You sit behind Madi, braiding her hair for the day, while Clarke fills up a canteen from the nearest water source. She returns just as you finish up the last braid, and you pat Madi on the shoulder, letting her know you’re finished. She shoots to her feet, beyond excited for a day of training, but Clarke stops her as she tries to make a dash out the door. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. Canteen.”
Madi gives her an annoyed look, and you hold back a bite of laughter when you recognize it as the same annoyed look that Clarke gives others. Like mother, like daughter. “I'm pretty sure they're gonna have water there.”
“Take it anyway.”
“Clarke, I'm not a baby anymore.”
Clarke puts her hands on Madi’s shoulders, holding her in place, giving her a serious look. “I know, which is why people are more likely to notice how special you are. That's why you're gonna suck today. You're not gonna stand out in any way. No one can think that you'd make a good Commander, not Gaia and especially not Octavia.”
“Clarke, I understand.”
“Once Echo gets that camera in the sky down, we all get to go home to Shallow Valley.”
“Great. Maybe when we fight the war there, I won't have to suck.'' Clarke gives her a scolding look, but Madi ignores it and presses a kiss to her cheek before pressing one to yours and slipping out of the tent. You look at your twin, who lets out a loud, exaggerated sigh, and you burst into laughter at the interaction. “She’s so much like you.”
Clarke glares at you, “She gets the sass from you though.”
“Me?” You throw the blanket beside you at her, laughing in indignation. “I’ve never been sassy a day in my life.”
“Yeah, right.” Clarke laughs along with you, but you can still see the worry on her face. You reach out for her and squeeze her shoulder in reassurance. “She’s gonna be okay.”
“And what about you? Now that Echo and Bellamy are broken up, are you going to tell him you still love him?”
You think back to the long conversation you had with Clarke last night, after the drama died down and Madi went to sleep, and how good it felt to talk about everything you’re feeling with your other half. She understood all of your conflicting feelings, and reassured you that it was normal to be unsure of how you feel. The whole time she talked with you, her fingers played with the cluster of stars that hang around her wrist, and you’re positive that she was speaking to you from her experience with Finn. Still, the last thing you decided before going to sleep, is that you’d let Bellamy come to you. “No. If what Echo said is true, Bellamy seems to be pretty confused about how he’s feeling. I don't want to show up and confess my love, just to confuse him further. I’ll wait for him to come to me when he’s ready.”
“You might be waiting a long time.”
“Maybe. But Bellamy is worth the wait.”
Clarke smiles at you, and you can tell that she’s relieved you’re no longer completely heartbroken. Being a twin means sharing the pain whether you mean to or not, and you know it hurt her to see you upset. But now things are seeming better because you have hope. If what Echo said was true, Bellamy still loves you. And it might take him a while to remember, to get over his feelings for Echo, but you have hope that he will, and that he’ll come back to you. Because you and Bellamy belong together, that much you’re sure of. One day he’ll remember that you’re his love, his radiant moon, and the two of you will fall back together, the way you used to be. So even though you’re still broken up, you’re starting to feel less broken.
Clarke changes the subject by reaching into her pack and pulling out two items, handing them to you. You take them, looking down at Jasper’s goggles and his note to Monty, and she whispers, “I thought you might want to give it to him.”
“Yeah, I would. Thank you.”
You stand and she stands with you, “I’m gonna keep an eye on Madi, and I’ll swing by to ask Bellamy about the eye so you don't have to.”
“Thanks.”
You two leave the tent together and head towards the bunker, splitting off as she heads towards the tech room and you walk towards the sleeping quarters. On your way there, you see Harper walking towards you, and you call out to her. “Harper, hey!”
You both hug in greeting, the first time you’ve really had the chance to since reuniting a few days ago. Everything has happened so fast since then, and it’s hard to believe it hasn’t been that long since their descent from space. “I was just looking for Monty, do you know where he is?”
You hold up the goggles and the note, and you see the flash of sadness in her eyes before she points you down a separate hallway. “Knowing Monty, I'm sure he’s with the plants in the hydroponic farm.”
“Thanks.”
You both exchange goodbyes before you follow the halls to the farm, and you push the doors open to see Monty standing amongst the dying plants. He glances your way as you get closer, and you smile at him. “Harper told me I might find you down here.”
“I miss my algae farm. I thought being around all this might help.”
“Does it?”
“Most of the crops are neglected, and the equipment needs repair. I give it 3 weeks until this place is as dead as the wasteland.”
He walks closer to you, and you let his words wash over you, your anxiety instantly rising. You hope that Echo can get the eye down and the rest of you can get into Shallow Valley soon, otherwise, you’re all in danger. Monty glances down at the belongings in your hands, and you follow his gaze before looking up and locking eyes with him. “We've been meaning to give this to you.”
He takes the note and peers down at it, his voice soft. “Jasper's handwriting.”
“We found it at Arkadia, not long after Praimfaya. Clarke nearly read it a couple of times, but I made sure she didn't.”
He nods, and you can tell he’s about to say something to you, but the doors at the end of the hall open and the lights flick on. You turn and peer through the dying crops towards the intruder, seeing Cooper wheel in a body just as you hear her say, “Guard the door. I'll just be a minute.”
Something about the interaction makes the hairs on the back of your neck lift, and you decide to trust your gut instinct, turning to face Monty in alarm. You push him backwards lightly, urging him to duck between the maze of crops, and he does so without question. Cooper pushes the gurney past the two of you, and you tense up, worried she’ll see you, but she walks right up to a door on the other side of the room. She types in a code, pushes the door open, and nudges the body inside before turning and walking out. You and Monty melt into the shadows as she walks on by, oblivious to your presence, turning the lights off on the way out and closing the doors to the farm behind her.
As soon as you and Monty are the only two people left in the room, you both head over to the door to check it out. Monty tugs on the handle but the door doesn't budge, clearly locked, and Monty looks around for tools before his eyes settle on some pruning shears nearby. You watch in confusion as he grabs them, and you mutter, “Monty, you can't pick a lock with pruning shears.”
“Ye of little faith.” He uses the shear to pry off a magnet that holds the tools in place, and then he sets the shears down and heads back to the door, moving the magnet over the door handle. “The keypad energizes the solenoid, pulls the coil and pin back. A magnet can do the same thing.”
A second later the lock clicks and he pushes the door open as you smile at him. “Monty, I love your genius brain.”
But your excitement dies out quickly as you step into the lab, Monty right behind you. You see the body that Cooper just brought in, along with test tubes and other lab related items. None of that concerns you though. What concerns you is the large tent in the back of the room, white and zipped up, secured from the outside world. Monty whispers, “Biocontainment lab? What the hell is that for?”
“Let's find out.” You walk forward and unzip the tent to the lab, stepping inside as Monty protests, “I don't like this.”
You ignore him and walk up to the large glass container a few feet from you, the contents inside hidden behind a large sheet. You pull the sheet back slightly and reveal a young woman, dead, and you feel the hairs on your arm lift, your subconscious already aware that you’re not gonna like whatever is going on here. You take a deep breath and pull the sheet the rest of the way off, the woman’s stomach now in view. You feel a wave of nausea roll through you and your skin crawls as you peer down at it, crawling with the sandworms from the desert. You gasp out, “Oh, my God!”
“I thought you all said no one else was bitten.”
“They weren't. I don't-'' You look at the worms in confusion, not understanding, until the pieces slowly slide into place. Octavia has already proven she’ll stop at nothing to win Shallow Valley. “They're breeding them.”
You and Monty exchange a worried look and you step over to the second glass container, pulling the sheet back to reveal a young man, still and unmoving. There are no worms bursting from his stomach, but it only takes a second for you to see one slither beneath his skin, making you shiver. Monty looks at the controls of the glass tank and mutters, “The cold must slow them down. If Octavia can deliver these worms in a defector-”
He cuts himself off when the man inside takes in a deep breath and his eyes fly open in alarm. “He's alive.”
The man opens his mouth again, and you think he’s about to gulp more air when he suddenly starts to cough, worms spilling from his mouth. You and Monty exchange another look and you mutter, “We have to tell Bellamy and Clarke.”
He nods in agreement and the two of you toss the sheets back over the tanks, step out of the tent, and zip it closed behind you. You sneak out the door, making sure it locks behind you, before the two of you head towards the tech room, knowing that’s the last place they were both in. However, when you arrive, Harper lets you both know that they went to the mess hall to sneak a few extra rations out for her and Madi. You and Monty turn and leave Harper without another word, and Monty guides you through the bunker to the mess hall, your eyes searching the room for your twin and your former lover. You find them both sitting a table across from each other, talking quietly, and you rush over to them, feeling panicked from seeing the worms.
Following your instincts, you sit down beside Bellamy, your brain forgetting that you’re no longer together, but by the time you realize, it’s too late. Monty takes the one next to Clarke, and they both look up at the two of you in surprise, sensing the anxious energy around you. “What is it?”
You and Monty explain everything that you saw, including the worms and the live test subject, and as soon as you finish, Bellamy shakes his head. “My sister would never approve of human testing. I don't care how crazy it's become down here.”
Clarke muses, “Desperation has a way of making the unimaginable a necessity.”
“Still, if she weaponizes those things and sends them into the valley, then Echo, Raven, Murphy, Kane, your mom-”
Monty cuts him off, “Not just them, all of us. Unleashing an invasive species on the last arable land on Earth is a monumentally bad idea.”
Bellamy sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face in frustration before whispering, “Even if Octavia does know, she won't listen to me. We need help.”
You all follow his gaze to the other side of the room, where Indra sits at a table eating with a few others. You all nod, agreeing with him, and Bellamy stands as Clarke urges, “Be diplomatic.”
“Yeah.” He immediately heads over to Indra, and the three of you watch him until Monty mutters, “He was there when Pike shot her and killed 300 of her people.”
Clarke and Monty both turn their gazes towards you, knowing you’re the best equipped at keeping the conversation calm, and you reluctantly nod, already accepting the role of peacekeeper. “I'll go with him.”
You come up behind Bellamy as he reaches Indra’s side, hands tucked into his pocket, looking nervous. His voice is low as he asks, “Can I talk to you? Privately?”
Indra doesn't address him, and nobody at the table moves, so you cut your eyes to them. “Hey, we need to talk to Indra. Ban au.”
Get out. You say the last part in Trigedasleng, hoping it will get them moving, but instead they look up at you in shock and get more comfortable in their seats. You glare, but no one moves until Indra nods her head, sending them away. As you move past Bellamy to take the seat across from Indra, he whispers, “Real diplomatic.”
You roll your eyes at him but say nothing as you settle into your seat, Bellamy at your side. He leans close, voice low and quiet as he asks, “Indra, would Cooper do something without my sister's approval?
“Only if she got mine first, but since I don't know what the hell you're talking about, it's hard to say.”
You look around you, making sure no one’s listening before you inform her, “She brought back the worms.”
Bellamy adds, “She's breeding them, experimenting on defectors. One of them is still alive.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Our guess is, she’s trying to find a way to keep them dormant long enough to deliver them in the next defection.”
“Good plan.” She pushes her tray away, and starts to stand. “Show me.”
You follow her from the room, motioning for Clarke to follow. She catches up as you get down the hall, and Indra types in the code for the room, holding the door open for the rest of you. You walk past her and unzip the biocontainment lab, pulling back the sheets from both glass tanks, showing Bellamy, Clarke, and Indra what you and Monty discovered. Matching looks of horror pass over each of their faces, and you see Indra recover first, setting her jaw. She walks over to the still living man, puts her arms into the gloves attached to the tank, and clamps her hand over his mouth and nose, smothering him. He only fights for a minute before dying, and Indra whispers, “Yu gonplei ste odon, Tarik kom Louwoda Kliron Kru.”
Your fight is over, Tarik from Shallow Valley Clan. As soon as the words leave her mouth, the keypad on the door starts to beep and Indra turns to face the approaching party, muttering, “Let's get this over with.”
The door swings open and Cooper and Octavia step inside, looking towards your group in surprise. You, Bellamy, and Clarke stand slightly behind Indra, watching the approaching pair as Octavia seems unsurprised by the contents inside the room. This seems to shock Indra because she states, “You knew about this.”
“Of course I knew about this, it was my idea. We're up against an army with superior firepower and every geographic advantage. This is how we overcome that.”
Clarke snaps, “What happens when your secret weapon destroys the valley you're fighting for?”
“I ran some tests.” You all look towards Cooper, waiting for her counterargument. “The worms can't survive in a green environment for more than a few days, long enough to kill everyone they come in contact with before we get there.”
You shake your head in disbelief, and find that Bellamy feels the same, because he questions, “Are we really having this conversation? Our friends are there, people we love.”
“Acceptable losses.” Your brows shoot up, surprised to hear the words come out of Octavia’s mouth. “Cooper, check on the worms.”
Cooper brushes past all of you to step inside the lab as Octavia turns her anger on the three of you. “Come on, big brother. How many innocent lives have you sacrificed? What about you, Wanheda, Wanlida? This is no different. You were just trying to save your people, so am I.”
You hear Cooper exclaim, “You killed him.”
Indra deadpans, “No, you did.”
Octavia looks towards the two women in confusion, not understanding the argument. “Cooper?”
“One of the defectors survived.”
You see an uneasy look pass over Octavia’s face, and Bellamy comments, “Looks like we found something that's not acceptable.”
“Blodreina, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but the results were remarkable. The worms reproduced 3 times faster in a live body, and we need quantity as well as control. I found that-”
You can see that Cooper’s words are swaying the queen, and you cut Cooper off, trying to stop this in its tracks. “Octavia, you don't want to do this.”
“Spare me the hypocrisy. Miller told me about the man that you irradiated in Becca's lab.” She turns back to Cooper, interested. “And just how long did your test subject survive?”
“Long enough for a defector to board their ship and fly to the valley.”
You glance at Bellamy and Clarke, both of them looking equally as distressed at this news, and Bellamy starts to beg his sister to end this. “Octavia, please, don't do this.”
“I don't want anything to happen to your friends, Bellamy, not even Echo.” He freezes at the name, and judging by Octavia’s obliviousness, you realize she must not know that they broke up the night before. “But this is war. Once we control the eye in the sky, we send the worms. Cooper, choose one of the elite guards to deliver it. It's time for Wonkru to go home.”
She turns and walks out of the room, ending the conversation in the way she’s grown accustomed to, leaving the rest of you standing around, looking at each other in shock. Cooper and Indra disperse next, before you look between Bellamy and Clarke and nod towards the exit. “We should probably tell Monty and Harper.”
They nod, and all of you head straight to the tech room where the couple are waiting, both of them monitoring the eye in the sky. The three of you catch them up quickly before working on a plan to save those you love before the worms make it to the valley. Once the plan is in place, Bellamy looks at each of you one by one before repeating, “Okay, let's go over this again. As soon as Echo and Raven get the eye down, we take the rover. We drive across the wasteland, and we break out our people before Wonkru attacks with the worms.”
As you think through the plan, and the hundred different ways it can go wrong, you decide to voice your concerns on the first issue that comes to mind. “Octavia will expect us to do something like that, she'll post sentries.”
“That's too bad for the sentries.”
His jaw is set, and you see a flash of the man that he was under Pike’s rule, and you don't like it. It took so long for Bellamy to come back from that, so much healing that had to happen, and you don't want him, or those around him, to have to go through that again. You're about to argue his point when Monty speaks up first, shaking the letter that you gave him earlier. “This was supposed to be Jasper's suicide note after we pulled him out of the City of Light. He was gonna put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger.”
Clarke mutters, “Monty, now's not the time.”
“Now is the perfect time.” He opens the letter, and begins to read, “'Monty, I know you're an optimist. You think better days are ahead, but that's not true. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There's only the tunnel, another enemy to fight, another war. I've come to the conclusion that we're the problem, human beings, all of us.”
Your brows lift in surprise, Jasper’s note from the past voicing the very same concern you had a few days ago. You don’t want to believe that humans are the problem, that all of the war, and violence, and killing is just who you are. But sometimes, it’s hard to look at all the destruction that’s been left in your wake and not think that. Maybe the Earth would be better without all of you, but maybe the mess of human nature is what makes everything worth living. Clarke once told you that Lincoln had something similar to her: if death has no cost, then life has no worth. Maybe the death and destruction reminds all of you of the beauty of life. Without the bad stuff, maybe you wouldn’t realize how truly lucky all of you are. You’re alive, on the Universe’s prettiest planet, and you have each other. You have love and friendship and family. Maybe the fear of losing those things is what makes you keep going. Isn’t that why you’ve done the things you’ve done? To save Clarke or Bellamy or your people?
And maybe you shouldn’t need the terrible things to see the beauty in life. Maybe one day you can break the cycle, retire Wanlida and your Grounder knife for good. But right now, this war seems inevitable, determined to be fought by most of the people on both sides.
“The cycle can't be broken as long as we're here. That's why I won't be here. That's why-” Monty cuts himself off, fighting back a wave of emotion, and Harper steps closer to him, comforting him. “Monty, it's okay.”
“Jasper was smarter than all of us. It doesn't matter what we do, coming back to the ground, opening the bunker, all we've done is made things worse. If a war is the only way to have the last survivable land on Earth, then maybe we don't deserve it.”
He turns and walks out of the room, leaving you all to watch him leave. You can see the tears in Harper’s eyes, the sorrow that she’s holding back before she nods once in goodbye and follows him out the door. You, Bellamy, and Clarke all stare at each other, unsure what to do now, before you eventually plop down into the chair in front of the computer screen. Clarke takes a seat at the table across from you, dropping her head into her hands and closing her eyes, and Bellamy starts to pace behind you, moving back and forth across the room. The three of you stay like that for a while, until you see movement on the computer screen from the corner of your eye. You move your gaze to the lower left section of the screen, watching as code starts to move across it, and you call out, “Something’s happening!”
Clarke and Bellamy run over to you, and you watch as the screen suddenly changes to an aerial view over Polis. You stare at the screen in disbelief and mutter, “We’re in, Echo did it.”
Bellamy turns and starts to walk away, but Clarke calls out to him to stop him. “Wait, Bellamy. As soon as we tell her, she marches to war and unleashes those worms.”
“That's why we’ve got to get there first. We take the rover, we get our people out, then we worry about stopping the war, okay?” You and Clarke exchange a look, having a silent conversation, and you can see the second she agrees with his plan. You nod at her, and she nods at you, and Bellamy, who catches the exchange, heads to the door again, “Good. I'll get Monty and Harper, you two get Madi. We leave tonight.”
The three of you head out the door and split off, you and Clarke moving through the bunker in search of Madi. You know she’s supposed to be training, so you check the room you trained with Octavia in, finding it empty. But as you stand at the door and start to think of where to look next, the sound of sword fighting reaches your ears. You and Clarke lock eyes, figuring that’s where you need to be, and your ears eventually lead you to the atrium. As you step into the scene, you see all of the Wonkru novitiates sitting in a group, watching two of their own fight each other with wooden swords. Octavia, Cooper, and Gaia stand at the top, watching, and you see Octavia’s eyes fall on you and Clarke as you enter the room.
You and Clarke see Madi in the group, and she glances at you before watching the fight in front of her end, one of the boys now victorious. The loser stands and heads back to his seat, while the winner keeps his place in the center, waiting for the next contender. Gaia calls out, “Jonas, you're next.”
“Wait.” You all look towards Octavia, wondering what she’s doing, and you feel a rush of anxiety when you see Octavia’s eyes are still locked on you and Clarke. You get a rush of fear, suddenly aware that the two of you, along with Bellamy, openly defied her wishes earlier. “Madi, you're up. Fight.”
Madi looks at you and Clarke in alarm, and you see anxiety pass over Gaia's features as she tries to argue, “Blodreina, she's not ready.”
But one look from Octavia, and Gaia backs down, looking towards you and your twin apologetically. You can feel the tension rolling off Clarke in waves, but she keeps her expression neutral as Madi grabs her practice sword and moves to stand across from the previous victor. “Be the last.”
Madi holds her sword, doing her best to look uncomfortable with it, though you know she’s actively fighting against the knowledge she gained from you and Clarke training her. The previous victor lunges first, sending a flurry of moves towards Madi that leave her defending herself and able to do nothing else. He manages to catch her off guard and knocks her onto the ground, and you can hear some of the novitiates snicker as she pulls herself to her feet. You see her grip on her sword change, and your stomach sinks, already knowing where this is going. Madi glances towards you and Clarke, and you see your twin give an imperceptible shake of her head, also aware of the shift in Madi’s attitude.
But Madi ignores you both and lunges at the boy, assaulting him with a barrage of moves that leaves him breathless and looking at Madi in shock. You glance at Octavia and see her step towards the fence that wraps around the atrium, intrigued, before the boy gets upset and dives towards Madi, wanting to prove that he’s better. Unfortunately for him, Madi spent years training with you and Clarke and she beats him easily, knocking him to the ground and preparing to swing her sword down towards him when Gaia calls out, “Enough!”
Madi offers the boy a hand up as you and Clarke stand watching, unsure what to do, but Octavia is the first to break the silence. “Gaia, fit her for armor and get her a real sword.”
She descends from her place at the top and follows the ramp down and into the atrium, coming to stand across from your niece. “Madi, we're about to fight a war on your land, for your land, and I could really use a second who knows the terrain when we get there. What do you say, Madi kom Wonkru?”
Octavia extends her arm out to Madi, who doesn't hesitate and never glances your way. She just takes Octavia’s arm, the Grounder way, and Octavia smiles down at her. “All right, then. We march as soon as the eye's down.”
Octavia turns to look at you and Clarke for the first time, her eyes solely landing on Clarke, aware that she plays the role of mother. “I need to borrow her for a strategy session. You don't mind, do you, Clarke?”
You both know exactly what this is as soon as the words leave Octavia’s mouth: a power play. Octavia is upset that all of you have defied her from the moment the bunker was opened, and she’s now using Madi as a pawn in her game to get back at all of you, especially Clarke. But Clarke knows she can't deny Octavia this, because it will only put Madi further at risk. So instead, you watch her swallow her emotion and shake her head. “No, it’s fine.”
She glances at you and you can see the panic in her eyes, so you smile at Madi and Octavia before turning and heading back into the bunker, walking toward the tech room again. Clarke walks beside you, and you can see her face fall as soon as she’s turned away from everyone, managing to keep her composure until you’re out of view. You see a few tears threaten to fall, and you thread your fingers through hers, whispering, “We’ll figure this out.”
Clarke switches from sadness to anger quickly, mama bear mode now activated, and she sets her jaw before muttering, “I already have.”
You don't get the chance to ask her what she means, but you have a feeling it’s nothing good, judging by the anger in her expression. She pushes the door to the tech room open, and everyone turns to look at you, obviously missing one person. Bellamy glances at you then Clarke and asks, “Where's Madi?”
“With your sister.”
Bellamy turns to fully face her, clearly exasperated. “Clarke, we don't have time for this. We have to leave now. As soon as Diyoza realizes what Echo did, she's dead. We have no choice.”
You’re behind Clarke as Bellamy lectures her, shaking your head at him, trying to tell him to shut up before he makes it worse. But if he sees you, he ignores you, pushing on and doing exactly what you thought he would: making it worse. Clarke muses, “You're wrong. We have one.”
She walks into the room, heading towards the table and grabbing the radio that Bellamy was using to contact Diyoza’s mothership. Harper and Monty both reach out for her, trying to stop her, and Harper asks, “Wait, what are you doing?”
Clarke turns her gaze on Monty, saying exactly what he wants to hear. “Stopping the cycle.”
He pulls his hand off the radio, and Harper follows suit, allowing Clarke to lift the radio to her mouth, turning to face you. “This is Clarke Griffin. I have a question for Colonel Diyoza.”
You see Bellamy hold up his hands in confusion, silently mouthing to you, “What the hell is she doing?”
You just shake your head and shrug, because you tried to warn him, but he didn't listen. You all look towards the radio as Diyoza’s voice comes through a second later, “Hello, Clarke. It's been too long. What the hell do you want?”
“What would it take for you to share the valley?”
“Share it? Well, let me see. Short of an unconditional surrender, nothing.”
Monty shakes his head, “Octavia will never surrender.”
Bellamy looks at Clarke, seemingly understanding what her next words are going to be before she says them, because he turns away, bracing his hands on the table. Clarke shocks the rest of you into complete silence by retorting, “That's why we're gonna take her out.”
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