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pomegrnteseed · 3 months

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it's all political, babe

people use the phrase 'we live in a society' a lot, but i'm going to use it here too; fandom is not removed from the society we live in. fandom is a reflection of the society, because it is members of society that make up fandom. just like the internet is not unbiased because people built it and people use it, fandom is not unbiased because people create within it.

you may not wish to interrogate your biases, your beliefs, your ideologies, your opinions while engaging with fandom, but that does not mean that those things are not working subconsciously or overtly in the choices you make when you read fics or enjoy artwork.

dhr is especially political. i said it in a tweet the other day, but draco lucius malfoy was the child of supremacists, raised to espouse fascist ideology. he was radicalised, he was a child soldier, he was groomed. for draco fans to claim that they engage apolitically is nonsense. i hate most everything joanne rowling stands for, but she was writing a book about fascism that was (riddled with problematic ideas and language, but) an accessible route for younger readers to understand the realities of supremacist notions of heritage and ethno-centric belonging. in other words, voldemort and his followers' obsession with parentage, with blood, with purity - it's the same thing hitler and the nazis were obsessed with. and their methods were the same too - ostracise, eradicate, overpower. sound familiar?

to divorce yourself so wholly from the reality of israel's ongoing genocide in palestine is to side with the oppressor. genocide relies on complicity via silence - to say nothing is to suggest it's okay. to argue that x isn't political or y isn't that deep is to fundamentally, forcefully turn away. you need to stop flinching. wokeness isn't a fun term to bandy around, it comes from Black american activism - it's time to wake up to the reality of the situation.

dhr fandom will remain political because it was based in a universe of politics. it catalogued the catastrophic outcomes of weak governments (cornelius fudge may you burn in hell), of fascist leaders (fuck you a million times over umbridge), of apathetic masses, of complicit media, of the power of public perception. it's far from the best example of these things where fictitious representations are concerned, but these things are literally woven into the entire narrative of the harry potter series. to say you don't want to see it is to contort your logic so brutally that i cannot in good faith see anything but wilful ignorance and a whole lot of internalised discomfort.

it's okay to not feel good about the things you like reading. it's okay to recognise that fiction is a fantasy land for paper dolls to smash. but it's not okay to pretend that these fantasy worlds are not founded in realities, are not reflected in the geopolitical status of the world now and historically. it's not okay to decide it's not for you because fascism affects us all. the state of the us, the uk, and europe in particular is fucking terrifying. read the news - far right ideologies are gaining more than 10% of the public vote at elections. fascism means ultranationalism (hatred of imagined Outsiders), suppression of opposition, dictatorship, militarised governance. it's literally happening around us. we are living it. and that's terrifying. it's natural to be scared. to want to flinch. to want to escape and pretend.

but you can't escape into dhr fandom and pretend that those exact same things aren't the lifeblood of dlm's backstory. that's a dissonance you cannot afford to grow.

if you look at some of the most read dhr fics: Manacled; The Auction; Secrets and Masks; From Wiltshire, With Love - they deal with the politics of war, of fascist ideology, of violence. The are also love stories, they are stories of hope, they are detailed depictions of how much we lose in the fight against hate.

we cannot have our cake and eat it too. we cannot say we are not getting involved in discussions of genocide that affect us all, because these discussions determine the world order. while we remain silent, we allow our governments to pretend their inaction is the will of the people. while we're silent, we give them a scapegoat; us. we cannot sit idly by and wait for someone else to come along. isn't that one of the characteristics we love most about hermione jean granger? her endless capacity for love (not mushy love, but active, hard-won love that forces people to keep going, that moves mountains with its sheer strength). hjg is a beacon for a lot of us in that way, never stopping after the war with her fights for the rights of all creatures, critters and magical folk. she's righteous. she's horrified by injustice. and if we say we love her, the idea of her, this pervasive fanon notion of her unrelenting fight for a better world, how can we not be moved into acting the same way? how can we read the works of others who have clearly noticed the themes and used this fandom as a vehicle for exploring the nature of fascism, the kernel of undying hope, and still refuse to acknowledge the realities these stories draw on and reflect?

i don't think we can in good faith.

living in a world embroiled in war, fascism, power struggles is exhausting. and we do come to fandom to escape. but we also come to fandom to share and learn and collectively despair and hope. we can't have nice things while we peddle the lie that fandom is apolitical, because it does those who gift us their hearts and souls in fics and fanart a huge disservice. it's not just paper dolls doing horny things. it's not just a romance story for the ages. it's real lives and real fears and real stakes. please treat it as such.

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that-left-turn · 4 months

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Shipping is fun and it gets the fandom involved but when the fandom tries to force others to think their way or fights with the studios or the actors that’s the real cringefest. Us carylers need to stop creating friction and enemies by being negative with others who don’t agree with what we see. Or use slightly racist rhetoric which I take offense too as my adopted son and daughter are Vietnamese. No one thought my wife and I were a romantic fit but we were until we weren’t so no one had to see it or agree but us. that’s what my last anon ask was about. we make ourselves look stupid when we pick apart stuff like the big 3 thing. That’s meaningless bs that makes us look bitter and crazy and like canon is all that matter when we all know we may not ever get canon anyway. I’m an old x files shipper who knows how ridiculously fun but bad this can get especially if we let the bitter people who fight about everything that doesn’t match their vision for our ship make everyone hate us We can’t have nice things if we make everyone hate us including the actors and studios

I'm not the best person to speak on fandom politics because I don't really participate. (I post fic very occasionally and I have this blog.) It feels like a waste of time I don’t have—I’d rather be writing said fic than argue with strangers about something as subjective as what TV characters to like. I have posted about racism before and my short-version take on bigotry is: it's not okay, regardless of who happens to share their casual -isms with the crowd.

I have a huge issue with the recent interviews Norman did in Japan. It's problematic to say that, because “we” (what ‘we’ is that, Norman?) wanted to write a ‘real’ French show, the WOC showrunner got fired in favor of a white American man. I’m confused: what uniquely qualifies Zabel over Kang? 👀

In one of the after-episode snippets, Clémence said the show has “all the French cliches.” (I wish I could post a link, but I don't have time to search. If someone knows where to find it online, please let me know?) S1 has all the American jingoistic tropes and the French characters act culturally American. With streaming services offering a variety of European TV shows, anyone can do a comparison to see if DD feels more French/European (like Norman claims) or like prettied-up American network TV.

I'm aware of the “big 3” debacle and disliked the incendiary nature of Valhalla’s post. I also disliked that some fans went out of their way to replace Michonne because of course there can only be one girl who's important 🙄 There appears to be a lot of internalized misogyny in the fandom. Both women are vital to the franchise, and Gabriel's character development was amazing and brilliantly acted too, so why doesn't he make the big three? Rankings are useless because they're arbitrary and encourage division between fans. A fractured audience is not a good thing.

Studios don't hate anyone. It’s a business and the programming execs spend zero seconds pondering what fans say. That's a different department, but I’m not sure AMC employs qualified marketing strategists. The official SM accounts look like they’re run by interns with “on the job” training. Part of the (legacy) issue is that under a previous showrunner for the flagship show, this dog-eats-dog behavior was encouraged simply because it mirrored the bleak setting of TWD. It's not an ethical approach, nor is it a good ROI to scare away the people who’d pay for merchandise and provide good word-of-mouth for the show(s).

The DD EPs want to make a show they think looks cool/epic—it's all about the visual esthetic and some of them are so burnt out they don't even care about the plot at all. A fanfic author writes to please themselves, but a screenwriter has to please their audience. The viewership are paying customers, so they have the right to an opinion on what they're willing to buy. I'm deeply uncomfortable with the idea that women should be quiet and behave like good little girls, so the men in charge might reward us with “nice things.” I’ve seen that show before and there’s no treat awaiting the docile at the end.

Based on the latest slew of interviews, the buzzword du jour seems to have moved on from ‘cool’ and ‘epic’ (probably because they gained ridicule instead of traction) to ‘romantic.’ It's a hard sales pitch to the very audience Norman normally complains about. The ‘crazy and bitter’ women of the fandom are the proverbial hand that feeds him and he needs their approval, not the other way around.

I'm aware, though, that some fandom behavior has spiraled into a never-ending ship war. That's the environment AMC/TWDU has created by not encouraging an atmosphere where they lift up all their characters and by not writing female friendships into the show. Everyone's worst side is on display and nobody “wins.”

#tv production #caryl #set politics #tboc #twdu -isms #bring a beverage 🧃 length post #amc marketing #caryl fandom

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kimchicollardgreens · 1 year

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even if there’s a solution to a “problem”, someone can still talk abt how they don’t like said problem… you know that right? it’s always “then ignore them” or write them yourself”… who says that ppl don’t do that already. it was one opinion. no one was demanding black writers to not write wtv they want, the person only shared their view and everyone went crazy… you legit wrote a think piece over this. There shouldn’t be fighting yeah, but maybe ppl should stop feeling butthurt over opinions. users make the most trivial things a bigger issue on tumblr, legit arguing with a minor lmao

i ask you to read all of this before sending another ask, its another “think piece” but its literally the answer to why what these woman are askin is lowkey problematic and i dont blame folks for not noticing dogwhistles. im also not say all “soft girls” are spouting this stuff. (hell im one of them). im also not calling these women evil, cuz they may not truly know what they saying is problematic as we live in a capitalist yt supremacist system. im more than happy to answer more. im not somebody that gon dismiss you if you wanna have discourse💖

but yes, you can talk about a problem when its in good faith as it actually cultivates productive insight. but bad faith arguments distract us from the real problems that both groups actually want to see fixed. however we need to acknowledge that most ADULTS who come with this “soft life fic” opinion be in bad faith.

bad faith is trying to get us to come back to things both parties already agree on. we all agree that soft fic aint seen much. what we are saying is why you keep coming in the dark/urban fic inbox stating it for people who have no problem with you? we’ve assessed the “problem” and we all agree it needs fixing. its like we running in circles, instead of different directions to fix other problems. the question is how are you going to contribute to fixing it in a healthy way and how do you want us to help.

im sure cherry and her friends would love to recommend a homegirls work so long as shes respectful. HELL I’LL EVEN DO IT!!!

tho i don’t recommend coming into blogs who are strictly dark and askin’ them for anything other than that. just like how soft writers don’t want to primarily write dark.

its not butthurt when you come on someone’s page calling them “ghetto” “baby mamas” then try and position it against “soft life” “divine feminine” “old money” aesthetics.

im not saying thats what this little girl did, but ive seen grown adult women do that. and thats nasty as hell to be positioning that.

the reason she probably caught flack is because she unfortunately used a simple question thats been hijacked and used by bad faith arguers when they come to urban fic accounts.

thats usually the question to get a leg in the door to start spouting off lowkey antiblack and classist shit.

and i dont know where soft being only afforded to the croquette looking girls came from. some of the softest girls i know are high fem baddies. so thats very weird, especially when you consider that black women make up majority of that aesthetic.

essentially its respectability politics and thats why its not trivial. to most, this looks like a minor creative liberties dispute, but the underlying theme is actually steeped in so much politics that affect black women for real.

i mean just look at the whole bonnet and pajama pants debate. or the straight hair or braids for your birthday/formal event debate. or the wigs vs natural hair debate. baby mama vs wifey debate (if you believe how a woman carries herself in a way thats nondestructive to others, is a reason as to why she doesn’t deserve respect; you not a feminist.)

its grown folks bratz vs barbie all over again.

not even gon hold you, i didn’t know that was a minor. just reblogged @chrollohearttags post on my dash. anybody doing anything other than telling that little girl to get off they page is a weirdo. but cherry made a general post thats been a topic of discussion AMONGST BLACK WOMEN since we’ve been writing stories. so ofc thats what my “think piece” is about. she may have commented one question but some iteration of that same question has been around for years. i’m responding to that.

since i now know this is a minor, they could have very well been wanting to know why there is a saturation of these fics on here. and i would have told her about the culture of urban fic being ONE of the first pioneers in Black Smut Fiction. it literally helped shape the black writing culture whether bad or good. then i wouldve told her that when she’s older she could contribute to said culture. but right now she should not be consuming any sexual media.

and to ask a question like that, its clear she has some gripes about the way general media treats black women; which those are well-founded. i understand hating the “ride or die”, or the “settling for less” when it comes to media for black women. but how can you read about a specific aesthetic or lifestyle and immediately know thats was going on?

these women used to have valid points and some still do but like this little girl, they cant tell the difference and if they can, they want any kind of reputation for “ghetto” girls out the window. there’s nothing wrong with being “ghetto” and nothing wrong with being a “the soft divine feminine” but we do need to talk about why the latter feels comfortable coming on someone like cherry’s page too disparage girls who aesthetics and social values don’t align with them.

writers like cherry aren’t advocating abuse, their characters are living they best lives. doing “ghetto” shit and truly loving the partners they’re with.

there are legit women out there who are “ghetto” that love they life. and are in healthy relationships. its vile to say that the way someone simply chooses to exist is a direct result of how black women face abuse, especially as something as silly as wigs, body con dresses and long nails. or even activities like twerking, having babies, doing drugs and partying.

its kinda like this whole Sukiana situation vs the Home Depot girl. Both were sexually harrassed but people tried to victim blame Suki more cuz of the way she dress and act. thats nasty. (plus there was no versus to begin with cuz neither one deserved it)

like there IS something to be said about how women who tend to write urban fic -at least in its early days- really do live the lives they are writing about. granted, looking back, some of these women were so unhealed that they ended up romanticizing abuse. but most girls now understand that you can live a hood lifestyle and not put up with bullshit.

somewhere along the way, the “city girl/ghetto/high fem” aesthetic got associated with abuse, crime, and poverty. which is crazy cuz girls who look like JT be havin’ money, a good life and still have plug/rapper boyfriends who not killing or getting them killed.

so if these women would be honest, its not about the way the “urban” girls look or behave. the real problem is the abuse that these women face.

which i see how thats a problem but abuse doesn’t correlate to aesthetics and its not a causation of abuse either.

soft girls can experience abuse. they experience financial, domestic abuse, sexual abuse. these women who hate urban fic, keep forgetting that the soft girl is modeled after the tradition yt housewife who faced abuse too. just cuz you get out the hood and get a financial stable man that isnt a plug or gangbanger dont mean he not gon beat yo ass or expect loyalty when he do some dubious shit.

yall ever seen the Stepford Wives?

now you can have the vintage look without the vintage values, but thats not what most of these women who come onto cherry page be talking like.

they disagree with any depiction of your so called city girl —whether good or bad.

it’s counterproductive to feminism. it quite literally antichoice feminism which is a huge problem with feminism today because it relies too much on this yt viewpoint of responsibility politics. i suggest people really read “Hood Feminism” by Mikki Kendall.

anyway thats whats been making people like cherry become upset and rather than having patience, they ain’t got no more to give cuz they keep having to defend themselves and explain why talking like this is a microaggression. they exhausted.

anyway im free to talk more, if i didnt explain good.

#asks #come back tomorrow #im done for today over here #thanks for the convo #💖#the menu

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bluewithpurplepolkadots · 5 months

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I think the thing with Fire Lady portrayals in fanfic isn’t so much the idea that it’s problematic to even write about someone of a colonised area marrying into the coloniser royal family: but the fact that people fail to realise being a Fire Lady is basically akin to being a rich tradwife on TikTok. It’s not, in any way, a power couple dynamic.

A Fire Lady has no political influence beyond the family they came from, the ability to influence their spouse and the future heirs they help make. They don’t have to do any traditional household work or real labour in the home: but only because there are servants/those with less privilege doing the work silently in the background for them. They can (and must) keep themselves busy in other ways.

About the only thing they have further control over is the education it seems of the children. And even then if the Fire Lord disapproves that’s kind of it for them.

Even if you think Zuko would never do something terrible (and I don’t think he would: he’s not his father) it’s still not an equal power dynamic.

And no: Zuko would never be so intuitive to fix this dynamic legally to the best of his abilities unless it’s directly pointed out to him. Zuko simply isn’t a socially intuitive person. He has internal biases and issues and he’s not instinctively a feminist at all (no) or really clued in to social issues beyond now realising ‘imperialism bad’ by the end of the show. This is the guy who calls his opponents little girls before his turnaround and was a bigoted ass to Aang after he joined the gaang. Let’s be realistic here in this cartoon with magic throwing rocks.

But honestly: He’s still a product of his upbringing and it’s not as easy as simply saying ‘I’m good now’. Even knowing something to be true doesn’t necessarily erase your upbringing or how you were raised influencing you subconsciously.

Zuko probably thinks of Ursa as the perfect mother. But she was still someone who espoused and raised him with FN supremist ideas. She was also just a person who according to the comics wasn’t from a high end FN political family with influence and who was working against Ozai and barely hanging on for dear life. And was then banished. Because Ozai had the power to do that and keep her away from her children.

Even if Ozai had been father/spouse of the year he’s still someone who with a snap of his fingers could take away everything from her. So could Zuko. He wouldn’t do that but the fact he even could is going to be discomforting to most characters if they realise this, especially if they’re far from their original home.

Thankfully some (I’d argue most) of these characters would definitely be the type to eventually point it out! But the idea Zuko is emotionally in tune does not work. At all. He also may even sweat over the idea of implementing it or whether his spouse trusts him/thinks he’s like his father: when that isn’t the point at all. (Like I said he’s kind of up his own ass sometimes).

Don’t get me wrong. Even if the dynamic doesn’t change, I think the Fire Lord having a spouse who knows what the hell they’re talking about in the internal politics of their nation and even other nations would be valuable to a Fire Lord and could sway things in their own favour: but they’re not co-leaders. A Fire Lady has no political clout on their own.

I think sometimes fic writers also try to ‘fix’ this by making characters ambassadors if they’re from another nation. But while a useful plot device to keep a character in the Fire Nation and interacting with Zuko a lot: it can probably only be temporary. As soon as they’re connected romantically they’d probably be considered somewhat of a liability/ unable to fully argue for their nation’s interests especially upon being married. It would be a conflict of interest so your’re kind of back on square one. Heck I sometimes wonder them just being friends could end up being an issue in an abassador role before the romancing even starts. But eh I’d let it pass in this instance: especially since in the case of Sokka or Katara the SWT is small. It’s fine to get your pairing started but it’s probably just that something has to give when it does.

I think the only way to ‘fix’ it would be for Zuko to make them co-leaders like the fics pretend they are. But like I said: he would absolutely not think to do this on his own without prompting. There would also possibly be issues especially from the FN itself if he made this change. It would take political finesse and probably people in the FN who know what the fuck they’re doing to guide it so it doesn’t end in an unstoppable rebellion. It’s probably a lot more complicated than Zuko deciding to make it happen even if he is an absolute monarch.

Edit: Another thought. Perhaps another way would be to simply make it easier for the Fire Lord to be arrested if they commit certain crimes or try to hurt their spouse. Who knows. But hard to say if this would be applicable if the Fire Lord implements it themselves. Could they… not also take those restrictions away if they’ve gone that far. Will a hypothetical Fire Lord in the future feel as generous if they suspect an affair or betrayal in some other way. Eh. Food for thought. (/end edit).

And honestly I have to wonder unless the character is someone like: Toph who can do what she wants elsewhere and is even nobility herself: if the person from another nation marrying in would ever be truly happy. And there’s a neat tragedy to that. Sometimes love isn’t enough.

#Atla #atla fandom problems #In the sense I’m up my own ass about shallow fanfics which are written for shallow fun but oh well #It’s also when they pretend to be deep or Zuko is so emotionally or socially intuitive about it all:#That’s not him at all #I also find it weird to think to be FLady is to be a feminist powerhouse when not really

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hollyhomburg · 2 years

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personally i think someone accessing namjoons home address and phone number doesn’t compare to a fan joking about giving him a hickey,

also this is not like a dig at you, i just genuinely can’t really understand and maybe you could explain- why are hickey jokes so outrageous but smut headcanons and stuff are fine? (again, purely asking because i cant understand n maybe you have an explanation)

i think the separation is that smut and things in the written sphere are like obviously completely fictional- and thats what makes it okay and different from jokes about namjoon's hickey. purely because the former underminds what namjoon the person wants and the first just talks about namjoon the charecter in an authors eye.

like while there are certainly some y/n reader insert fanfics that lean into the fanservice and delusional aspect of it- i don't think the vast majority of the people who write fanfic legitimately think the events in the story happened in physicality. how many fics have you seen where like yoongi's a tentacle monster and jimin's a hapless victim? like no one thinks that shit is real. just because i write a fic where jungkook has bunny ears doesn't mean he's actually a hybrid or that hybrids exist. People aren't going to confuse reality here.

but when we argue about what the boys actually say and if they're really lying to us- that is involving the real namjoon in a different way than fiction is. it's not fictional and it's not done with his wishes in mind. like i don't understand why people are so committed to not beliving him.

to bring this back to fanfiction, like i don't know if namjoon has a big dick or not, the same way i don't know how big joel in the last of us is- but the nature of fiction is that it is always speculative. if namjoon irl said "i have a big dick" and we said "no i think you have a small dick" that would be INFINITELY more problematic. it's real people vs fictional people. the version of namjoon that i write about doesn't exist, the one people make hickey jokes about does and his privacy is being violated to sate the need to know about his private life.

making jokes about namjoon's hickey is not specultive fiction, it's speculative reality, it's questioning namjoon the person not namjoon the character. and you can't not admit that the joking back and forth creates this dynamic between people who are possessive of them and people who aren't. there is a certain sense of one up man ship where people are like "i'm going to prove it to you that he actually is dating" "finally all the crazy fans can go away now that he's come out with a hickey," "namjoon is getting it all you people can go stfu" (all things ive seen on twitter tbh)

i feel like this dynamic is a result of the misogyny that female fans are treated with- like according to the media we're all stereotyped as teenagers who have crushes on people who will never know we exist. and certain fans have different reactions to it. One is to completely reject the idea of army being possessive over them and hunt down the people who do or in stalkers case- hunting down namjoon to expose his private life, either to sell to the media to prove he is in a relationship. or to sell it to the sassengs who want to confirm or deny the existence and nature of his private time.

there is nothing revolutionary about not believing that namjoon's bruise is a bruise- the only thing that tells me about you is that you don't believe namjoon and have his best interest at heart.

it comes down to what are we willing to do to prove what we believe is real, which is why personally- i think we should only accept info about irl bts's private life from them, and ignore any other 'hints' that we may get until they're confirmed. as far as i'm concerned, i belive bts. they don't want to talk about their relationships? then for all of my concerns i don't care about it. i won't wonder, i won't go looking at jungkook's gym to find out if he ever comes with anyone, i won't go to an art museum in the hopes that namjoon might be there. i certainly wouldn't book a train ticket or purchase information. if they want to shout from the roof tops about how much they love a girl they met in a coffee shop? i will gush with them.

speculation about their private lives and information about their private lives should be given to us fans on their terms and in their timeframe. Not because someone stalks them. it comes down to respecting a boundary.

bts have never set the boundary that they didn't want fanfiction made about them- in the case of hyyh and the bts world game- they outright encouraged fictional fan driven content- even the highlight reels are representative of this- beautiful pictures of fiction that fan creators can take and mold.

on the other hand they've certainly created a boundary about their private lives and what they're willing to share with us. they don't want us to speculate about it because it only causes shit like this.

long rant over; TLDR- fanfiction's are fictional for a reason, saying namjoon is lying is not fiction. believe bts and what they say or don't say about their private lives and move on.

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theladykit · 10 months

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Excuse me, but I must parade my own ignorance for a moment: there is a book called Round the Red Lamp, written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, of which I knew nothing. Of course, I knew that he wrote many works, not all of which were fiction, and that he preferred his own works of non-fiction rather more than he ever preferred Holmes. So it goes with Conan Doyle.

The reason I bring it up, however, is that the preface of Round the Red Lamp (which is a book about the realities of being a doctor) is a defence of showing the more grisly bits of what doctoring is all about. I think it equally applies to most writing, as well, and seems especially apt in today's climate, in either fic or more traditional forms of written work:

[Being an extract from a long and animated correspondence with a friend in America.]

"I quite recognise the force of your objection that an invalid or a woman in weak health would get no good from stories which attempt to treat some features of medical life with a certain amount of realism. If you deal with this life at all, however, and if you are anxious to make your doctors something more than marionettes, it is quite essential that you should paint the darker side, since it is that which is principally presented to the surgeon or physician. He sees many beautiful things, it is true, fortitude and heroism, love and self-sacrifice; but they are all called forth (as our nobler qualities are always called forth) by bitter sorrow and trial. One cannot write of medical life and be merry over it.

Then why write of it, you may ask? If a subject is painful why treat it at all? I answer that it is the province of fiction to treat painful things as well as cheerful ones. The story which wiles away a weary hour fulfils an obviously good purpose, but not more so, I hold, than that which helps to emphasise the graver side of life. A tale which may startle the reader out of his usual grooves of thought, and shocks him into seriousness, plays the part of the alterative and tonic in medicine, bitter to the taste but bracing in the result. There are a few stories in this little collection which might have such an effect, and I have so far shared in your feeling that I have reserved them from serial publication. In book-form the reader can see that they are medical stories, and can, if he or she be so minded, avoid them."

It's an old argument, the one about what to portray in fiction; and it is evident from both this--and, honestly, all of his Holmes collection--that Doyle erred on the side of detail rather than censorship, though it should also be noted he understood the nature of personal discretion as an author in choosing what to portray.

What he seems to get at, though, and puts beautifully in a way I certainly have never been able to articulate, is that everyone finds solace in their own way, and that even the bitterest of pills can have the most remarkable healing effects, even if you don't personally care for bitter pills. That it is good and wise to step outside of your usual habits because what you find could expand your horizons.

The corollary to that, of course, is that people who staunchly refuse to do so, who so stubbornly maintain that they will not engage with fiction which they consider "dark" or "problematic" or anything else is that they are absolutely admitting that they wish to remain small. That they are afraid of changing their ideas of the world; that if their world becomes larger, what does that mean for their place in it, and not just their place, but their size? And you understand that people like that are terribly frightened, not of being small, but being thought of as small. Except that the only way out is through.

Learning can be painful, yes. It often means adjusting yourself to contours you never knew existed and at present, do not fit well. But the end result is that it is a restorative. Stretching yourself in this way, Doyle argues, is healing. In the scores of psychological studies we've conducted since, and the heaps and heaps of anecdotal experiences as well, this has absolutely been borne out. Those bitter pills are necessary to your own well-being.

There is personal discretion in this, too, yes. There are certain pieces of writing we do for others, and those that must remain for ourselves, and there is nothing wrong with that. It does not mean that any dark or uncomfortable material should never see the light of day. Lumping it all together as "bad," "wrong," "problematic," whatever the term au courant is, is antithetical to the human experience. Growth is normal; stagnation is where the unnatural starts.

And, as Doyle very practically points out, if at the end of the day you decide it really isn't for you, you are under no obligation to read it, especially when the author has taken care to inform you that this isn't something you may want to read. After that, it's on you to avoid. Specifically seeking out the content you are trying to avoid and then commenting that it's bad and shouldn't exist when you do find it does not reflect on the author, it reflects on the reader. It so unequivocally, once again, announces how small and poisoned you want the world to be.

This is longer than I ever imagined it would get, so I'll stop there. As a concluding thought, though, I leave you with this: the world is full of difficult and painful things; saying they have no right to exist will not make them go away, and neither will trying to force them out. But it will effect harm to those who might need them the most, and if you're fine with that, then harm reduction is not what you're seeking in the first place. It is to make the world as small as you are, and I want no part of it.

#sir arthur conan doyle #acd #not sherlock holmes #i really should read this book #it sounds like both a fascinating look at his life as a doctor #but also could be useful as a bit of research into the realities of late 19th century medicine #long post

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stories2you · 2 years

Text

Dearest (Part 1)

A/N: my first hypmic fic after months of contemplating if I should write about them. Have a Jakurai fic for some angsty fluffers.

Pairings: Jakurai x fem!reader

TW: Divorce, abuse (verbal, physical, direct and indirect), Depression, PTSD.

**DNI IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SUCH TOPICS.

~~~~~

It was late at night when Jakurai finished his work at the hospital. The man leaned back on his chair, sighing. He wondered about you, his dear wife and his dear daughter. The man's thoughts suddenly stopped at a recollection where you voiced out your concerns about his daughter.

His beloved little girl was from his first marriage. He caught his ex-wife having an affair with another man. They had tons of arguments, which brought the little girl being very distant to her parents and closer to Jakurai's friends. Particularly Hifumi and Doppo.

It took him about a month or two to finally finalise his decision to divorce the woman. Hifumi and Doppo questioned him why he had to take so long to decide. Jakurai explained to them that he had to think about his little girl. Her future, who she would stay with, and to protect her from the vile woman.

With the help of Hitoya, Jakurai managed to gain custody of his daughter. Much to the girl's relief, that doesn't mean she was haunted by her biological mother's cruelty towards her.

Her teacher, Rosho, had called Jakurai about her situation at school. Simply said, the doctor was shocked hearing that his daughter would often be picked up last, or never at all. Rosho understood Jakurai's work field, he was a very busy man. Handling different types of people and was always needed everywhere.

Rosho admitted to him that he had argued with his ex-wife about the girl's safety.

"She's nothing but a nuisance!" Was what she said to the teacher.

The girl heard the whole argument. It was then her grades dropped drastically. Jakurai really tried to be there for her. There were even times where he would ask Hifumi to pick her up and send her to his office.

At home, his ex would sweet talk with him that she'll be more responsible and fetch their daughter. Jakurai was hesitant, but decided to give her another chance.

He was wrong.

One day, he came home to his daughter sitting outside of the two storey house. It was winter. She had a thin jacket around her.

"Mai!" He called out to her.

The girl's blue eyes looked up to meet her father's. Tears finally fell, she couldn't move much from being in the position for more than five minutes. Jakurai took off his coat and wrapped her in it.

Holding Mai in his arms, he was greeted with his wife and another man. His blue eyes raged with anger.

"She's fifteen! She can take care of herself!!"

"That doesn't mean that you can torture her! She could've died!"

"Then let her die! I don't need a problematic child!"

"Get out of the house and never return, you imbecile!"

The final roar from Jakurai shocked the woman. The outsider was afraid to move, seeing how huge the older man was from himself. He timidly pulled the vile woman out of the house.

After the two left, Jakurai got onto his knees and hugged his daughter tightly. He apologised to her profusely. He warmed her up with his body heat before proceeding to the living room where the heater was at.

Back to the present time, Jakurai felt the pain in his heart, seeing his daughter almost freezing to death. After the fight at the court, he decided to take a month of leave to spend time with Mai.

A few months later, Rosho introduced you to Jakurai. You were Mai's homeroom teacher. You had never gotten the chance to meet the doctor during the conferences with parents. But boy you were surprised at how good looking the doctor is.

You were personally close with Mai, listening to her problems, being a comfort for her, naturally taking the role as her mother at school. She'd tell you so many things, including what her birth mother did to her.

You knew your place as an outsider, thus only able to spit venom at your now husband's ex whenever she would talk shit about Mai.

Peace was only temporary until Mai, now eighteen, unexpectedly met her birth mother. It was harsh. Her mother had another child with the man she cheated with.

Hatred and anger boiled in her heart and mind. She was unable to think straight, thus slapping her own mother in public.

"You hated me, you despised me, yet you had another child with that despicable man! How dare you abandon me! I hate you, you imbecile!!"

She continued cursing at the woman. Not bothering about the crying child. She looked at the toddler, giving them a disgusted look.

Before the woman could say anything, Mai ran away in tears.

She rushed into her room, not greeting you with hugs like she would usually do. You were concerned for her, but decided to give her some time to cool down.

About an hour, you decided to cook dinner, making her favorite curry rice. You made it with the amount of spice she loves. Even making her favorite hot chamomile tea with honey to soothe her heart.

"Mom..?" You heard her voice. You turned around and saw Mai, she had freshened up, looking a little bit better.

You smiled at her and ushered her to the kitchen, "come, sit down. I made your favorite for today. Would you be a darling and call your father if he'll be home tonight?"

Mai nodded and took out her phone to ring her father. After three rings, he answered, "hello? What's wrong, honey? Do you need anything?"

"Nothing, but will you be home soon?" She asked.

"I'll be home in five minutes, dear."

You saw Mai's smile. It brought you a little comfort by seeing her smile.

"Alright. Take care, dad."

You sat the big bowl of curry and the rice cooker on the tray beside the dining table. You took a seat in front of her, "Shall we wait for him?"

Mai nodded. You thought that it was okay to ask her about her day at school first, her mood can be discussed when her father got home.

"So, how was school? Was Rosho a good teacher today?" You giggled when you brought up your former colleague.

Mai happily told you about her day at school, and that fellow teachers had asked her about your well being. You had married Jakurai a year ago after Mai's pestering. She begged you to be her mother, and she begged Jakurai to allow her to be your mother.

Such a coincidence, Jakurai had observed how you treated his daughter. You gave her the love she yearned for from a mother ever since she was an elementary school student. With that, he proposed to get to know you better and introduced you to his family and friends just as you do to him as well.

The wedding went smoothly, and you decided to resign as a teacher to start on your sole business. The two of you talked happily, only noticing the doctor's presence when he cleared his throat.

Mai turned around and ran to give her father a tight hug, "welcome home, dad! I missed you."

Jakurai wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tightly, "I'm home. I missed you too, dear."

You greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and pulled him to sit at the dining table. Both you and Mai listened to Jakurai's days at work and him listening to both of your days.

Laughter and happiness was the current vibe, until Mai brought up about her encounter with her mother….

~~~~~

Part 2 coming soon.

#hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypmic scenarios #hypmic imagines #jakurai jinguji #jakurai x reader #jakurai imagines #jakurai scenarios #matenrou #hypmic hifumi #hypmic doppo #hypmic hitoya #hypmic rosho

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nyxvuxoa · 3 years

Text

Dating Billy would include:

Billy Loomis x Fem!Reader

- T/W: 18+ Smutty and slight murder stuff about having a Slasher boyfriend. A hybristophilia point of view. If this isn't your thing, I would suggest not reading it. - A/N: Trying my hand at some Billy stuff. I won't lie, not feeling too confident in my writing recently. I may write one of these for Stu and then one for dating both of them at the same time. We will see how this one goes. I made this gif myself. Requests are open!

Let's talk m u r d e r. Because let's face it, it's going to come up with Billy.

At first, it was just him poking around with you to see what you were able to handle.

It started off with slasher fics and when he saw how excited you got about some of them (or maybe even turned on, if it's your thing) he decided to poke around a little more.

Then he started asking questions and seeing, "just for fun", how you would kill someone.

Eventually, he admitted to you the things he and Stu had been doing.

While he expected to have to kill you because of having told you, he was actually relieved when you were actually open about the subject.

From that point on you were his girl and no one else was going to get ahold of you.

The fact that he could brag about what they were doing to someone, and they enjoyed it as much as he did, is a serious turn-on for him.

Eventually, Billy wants to take you with the two of them, but he has to work it out with Stu first (who is starting to feel a little jealous of you for "getting between" him and his best friend).

For now, in between his 'extracurricular activities, his focus is you.

Especially since Sidney has pushed away from him, for obvious reasons.

You learn that Billy is actually a pretty sexual guy. Which is expected of him and his age, he's got the sex drive of an animal.

What he couldn't get from Sidney, he gets from you.

He's got a thing for submissive and problematic girls.

The kinkier you are, the better.

He's all about binding you and using you like a fuck toy.

But at the same time, he's the type of guy that will bind you up while you two are just hanging out and watching a movie.

He just really like the idea of you being tied up.

Knifeplay is right up his alley.

Especially after he's killed, someone. That knife will still have some blood on it and he wants to run the blade against your nude skin.

There is an appeal to the fact that you trust him enough with a knife to let him get that close enough with it.

Sometimes he's making sure he keeps some of the blood on himself for you.

He's all about going in bareback.

"But baby, it feels better that way. You want me to feel you better right?"

And you fall for it.

You are addicted to him cumming in you though, so you learned to not argue about wearing a condom.

Slasher fics and chill are a daily thing at this point.

He will go and rent horror movies to have on in the background while he's fucking you on the couch.

Or better yet in his eyes, while you are sucking his cock.

When you can't see him for whatever reason, phone sex has become a thing between you two.

He loves to tease you over the phone and listen to you try and keep quiet about wanting to moan for him.

You love the fact that he can go from stabbing someone to touching you the next minute. And he loves it too.

Let's face it, you are the Bonnie to his Clyde.

He's going to be rather possessive of you and he's going to show it. Everything from hickies on your neck and chest to his arms around you in public.

If he has a way of showing that you are his, he's going to show it.

He's not really a flowers and chocolate kind of guy, but that's okay, you are probably not that kind of girl.

His idea of romance is a trip to the movies and maybe something to eat after.

He's terrible at handling problems sometimes though. While he will listen to whatever is wrong, he's not really going to always be attentive to it.

Unless he feels like it's going to affect him.

And heaven forbid he catches on to someone hitting on you.

"I will rip out their fucking lungs."

And needless to say, that tends to happen.

He would happily rack up a body count for you.

Arguments with Billy can be rather intense. You are usually at each other's throats.

But these fights can lead to some of the best makeup sex. He can get rather passionate when it comes to making up.

Billy will grab your arm and pull you into a kiss, asking if you’re alright and apologizing so sweetly.

You fall for it because let's face it, you are crazy about him and he's just as crazy about you.

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likearecordbb · 3 years

Note

about your post on the recent discourse...

it's honestly so confusing to me because like,, you say that ppl pointing out how members of this fandom will make neil very stereotypically 'feminine' is reinforcing the idea of 'masculinity' as one thing and 'femininity' as another.... and i get that we should get rid of these labels. but at the same time... the content itself that ppl are criticising (the ones that 'feminize' neil) are already doing just that. that's why they're criticising it.

i can't point out how ppl are reinforcing the idea that a relationship should have a 'man' and a 'woman', without... saying that that's what they're doing. the writer themselves already sees relationships this way and 'masculinity' and 'femininity' as two different distinct things. that's exactly *why* they're writing neil this way while keeping andrew close to canon.

there's nothing wrong with neil being stereotypically 'feminine' of course. but to act like it's somehow misogynistic for me to go to these ppl and be like 'hey, u shouldn't view mlm relationships through the lens of a hetero one! it can be very harmful' is weird to me... *especially* considering these stereotypes that ppl are pushing onto neil come from misogyny themselves. (ppl making neil much much more emotional than he is in canon while keeping andrew very stoic)

idk, like... ur simultaneously saying that we shouldn't view relationships as needing a 'man' and a 'woman'... while defending people who are doing just that and creating content which reinforces just that.

it's one thing to say 'we shouldn't view masculinity and femininity as two distinct and different things!'/'we should get rid of these labels all together cause they're meaningless'... but if i look at the content that u make/consume and it's practically, if not entirely, all andreil conforming to heternormative stereotypes... then i can't help but feel like ur not as detached from the idea of 'masculinity' and 'femininity' as u would like to believe... i trust the ppl who say these ideas are meaningless while not changing the canon characters because they seem to be sticking to their words.

people will just say that they prefer writing andreil is this heternormative way... they'll just say it what they like or what they're most comfortable writing without ever questioning *why* they prefer it this way.

and if they're projecting.. well then, *why* this couple? why pick an mlm couple to project what is often the experience of a cis woman in a relationship? why pick this mlm couple when there are others that do fit the stereotypical heternormative dynamic? idk. like,, u can do this ofc, but ppl can also call u out on ur shit.

there's an undeniable reason that neil is exclusively the one that ppl pick to make more stereotypically 'feminine'. and there's a reason this type of content is also so popular. and it's certainly not wrong to point this out.

You know, I can see all of these points that you're making. For me, the overall issue of this is very complicated. I am also super uncomfortable with the imposition of heteronormative roles onto...well, onto any relationship, regardless of the identities of the people who constitute it. I was raised smack dab in the middle of the gay community by lesbian moms (together 38 years now, jfc, can you imagine??), so that "man/woman" thing was never something that I grew up internalizing or normalizing. I can recognize that this may give me a bit too much of a sense of objectivity.

However, I'm also like...I've been ruined by grad school. The "feminizing" word makes me really uncomfortable because it starts to stray for me into gender essentialism territory. It also seems to foundationally differentiate between "masculine" behaviors and "feminine" behaviors and I just really hate that? Lesbian moms, trans daughter, bi (and late-in-life trying to see where on the ace spectrum I might fall) self, I've just met so many people with so many expressions of gender and sexuality and I just... Idk, I automatically resist anything that feels like it's upholding "masculinity" and "femininity" as real (as in, not constructed) things. And then I also am like, well, I've known SO MANY gay men who behaved in the ways that the discourse constructs as "feminized" and then I start to feel like, what about these men? Are they less 'men' because of it? How would it feel for that man to read these things saying his identity expression was a problem or a bad stereotype? Do I read *Neil Josten* within that context... no, not really. I think Neil has a 'not enough emotional expression' problem way before he has a 'too much emotional expression' problem.

I'll say here what I often say to my students in complex discussions: I don't have answers. I don't think I'm right and anyone else is wrong. I just have complicated thoughts and feelings and concerns about some of the things that sometimes seem to be left uninterrogated.

So, I do 100% get the need to be vigilant about the imposition of a "man" (dominant, emotionally constipated, sexually driven, stoic) role and "woman" (emotional, needy, teary, dependent) role onto relationships with two (or more!) men or women. I would also argue that we need to get rid of that idea in hetero relationships, too, because it's super damaging. I just wish we could find a way to talk about that that didn't feel like it was accepting this idea of femininity as a given? And I definitely agree that it's problematic when the 'bottom' in a relationship is depicted as the one who's soft and silly and weepy. (Have you read TJ Klune's Tales from Verania series? A VERY fun world that does that not at all and it's great). I'm not saying these things are not worth confronting--I'm just really uncomfortable with the way the conversations are often framed around a concept of femininity/feminizing. It feels like shrapnel, I guess? Like, 'ugh stop feminizing Neil he's not weepy and uwu he's a badass' feels inherently to me like it's making femininity and badassery mutually exclusive? Maybe I'm just looking for a caveat or footnote in the argument that acknowledges that that is constructed *for women too*? And is a part of, like, a larger heteronormative patriarchal structure? And not something that we can just all obviously agree is the way the ladies (should?) behave?

One other question I've been dying to ask, though, is: where are these fics? I don't think I've ever read something where Neil is crying over Jack being mean to him or anything. Maybe if I start to see hints of that characterization, I just close the tab and never end up getting to the 'worst' of it?

Although, if what you said earlier about the "content that u make/consume and it's practically, if not entirely, all andreil conforming to heternormative stereotypes..." was referring to me, then... idk what to say to that. I don't think that's what I do. The heteronormative relationship that you're describing isn't one that I enjoy, desire for myself (or anyone else), or have any interest in reproducing.

Does this clarify what I'm trying to say? I guess it's a really long way of saying, in the old insufferable grad school tradition: well, first we have to define our terms. Because I'm not sure we're all coming up with the same thing when we use the word "feminizing" and that probably has a lot to do with why we keep having this exact same conversation over and over and over again.

If I missed any specific point you'd like to pick at in more detail, please let me know--my very sad platonic life partner (who had to put her beloved 15-year-old poodle to sleep yesterday) and her mom are waiting for me to drive them to the stores for a distraction, so I'm feeling a little time pressure.

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a-shakespearean-in-paris · 4 years

Text

Why Cullen?

Today I bring you a post I’ve been in the process of mentally drafting for a while, a post that essentially analyzes the age old question in the Dragon Age fandom: Why is there always something with Cullen?

To do this, I am going to go through different “phases” of Cullen discourse. My thesis and answering the titular question: It’s complicated, and I don’t think I can answer “Why Cullen,” but “there’s sometimes recycled discourses made about his character through the years, maybe there’s a pattern.” When it comes to Cullen’s detractors, I understand the fact that it might be frustrating to see much content for someone so “boring” when there’s more “interesting” and “well done” characters (though interest is of course relevant) so it leads to a lot of vitriol from both new and old fans who think the man had too much screen time already. Furthermore, he is highly complicated man dressed as a Disney prince, and the “Disney-esque” feel of his romance creates a dissonance between coming to terms with his problematic past and reveling in the romanticism. We can have a happy medium everyone, but because of what I can only describe as “tik tok thought” it’s become looked down upon to have problematic favorites, which leads to guilt in liking something problematic, or outright revisionism.

But liking things with problematic elements doesn’t make you a bad person.

Alright, let’s begin:

The first phase truly began of course with DAO with Cullen’s crush on the female Circle Mage Warden. Some were endeared, others not so much. I cannot speak to this phase too much as I was around 15-16 and pretty preoccupied with my high school drama instead of fandom, though I played both DAO and DA2 upon it’s release and followed updates for DA2 before it came out. Despite not being an active fandom member I was what they would call, a lurker. I knew some people liked Cullen and thought he was cute, wishing for more screen time after the game and hoping he’d be in DAI through IMDB message boards (remember those?) and YoutTube comments. When news broke he’d be an advisor in DAI and a romance option, I remember seeing a lot of people in those same spaces rejoice. I’m sure there were also people who weren’t so pleased, but from what I saw, people were happy. When Inquisition did release, I actually did quite a bit more lurking on tumblr despite the fact I didn’t have a blog, because I played the romance route, really gravitated toward it, and wanted to see fanart and such. People liked the romance, liked his arc and how Bioware handled his struggles with lyrium; and found it realistic. Even in my lurking days I did see some blowback on Cullen from detractors, those who didn’t think he should have been the military advisor (which canonically it makes total sense to me why he’s where he’s at, but I won’t get into it here however.) But likely because I wasn’t fully “in fandom,” my surface level understanding of how tumblr felt about Cullen was relatively positive and there was only standard fare discourse.

Phase 2: I can speak about this phase better because I established this blog in 2017. Two years after DAI was released, you still had a lot of fans who loved his romance and character, but you also saw a lot of those fans really dive into his flaws, insisting even that just focusing on the Disney Prince aspects of him reduced his character. There were also more internal debates. Would realistically Cullen be a good father was one. One thing however was for sure, there was a strange them and us line between detractors and fans, and to many fans, myself included, oftentimes the Cullen blowback would extend beyond the valid, “hey I don’t think his characterization was handled well” or “his redemption arc isn’t that great” to outright vitriolic hate that blatantly ignored his PTSD and lyrium addiction, and even sometimes “you just like Cullen because he’s white.” As a POC fan it was a fantastic thing to be accused of. I used to be more involved with discord during this period and I remember a few discussions about this as well. Even those indifferent to Cullen didn’t get it.

Overall, I have to say the air was one where people in Cullen fandom enjoyed all aspects of him, from delving into this troubled past to indulging in the Disney prince aspects of him. It was a happy medium I think, even if occasionally I would see a Cullen fan feel bad for liking him, and feel like they needed to justify it. Heck I even did and still do feel that way sometimes, like I need to justify what I like. But we all come into fandom for different reasons. I come into fandom some days for different things. Sometimes I want smut with my favorite character, other times I want more intense thought pieces and challenging fics. Great thing about fandom is that it’s a bakery that has cherry tarts, cinnamon rolls, or all kinds of pie depending on your mood. Craving a different sweet treat, you can make your own. Or you can commission an artist or writer for something you fancy.

*(sexual assault mentions here late in the paragraph****)And now I’ve been warped back into Cullen/DA fandom through what I am calling phase three, where the general air on Cullen reads as….very different. After having one foot outside DA fandom for a while coming back and reading the air has been different. There was the bizarre nuggetgate and other things with Cullen. Now, instead of accepting his flaws and exploring him there seems to be a lot of revisionism going on, as if his past never happened or we’re supposed to ignore he was a templar. A sexually active Cullen is looked down upon but in a different way from before. Instead of smut works with him “reducing his complicated character.” it’s distasteful to write smut with him where he’s sexually dominant or even just a lot of smut because he was sexually assaulted. (***Now, it is implied that he was, if you are a female Circle mage in DAO, with “sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have” but this is an implication. I will be honest, it is what I have implied. However, it’s not there if you’re not a female Mage. He was however canonically sexually harassed in the Winter Palace, something I will always argue, even if canon treats it like a joke, even if Leliana tells him to “just look pretty.” Just because he is a man doesn’t make it funny that someone grabbed his bottom, and if you take Cole he flat out says “Cullen is afraid.”***)

So here I am, wondering what changed and what’s going on. Here’s what I believe: Cullen is a complicated character and his flaws and his past make him interesting to me, and they are interesting to explore. However there is nothing wrong with wanting to just explore a romantic, sexual Cullen. He’s a character with many facets. He’s romantic, determined, nostalgic, stubborn, unrelenting, loyal, driven, all things that made him seem so real. Here we get to my theory: in today’s media “criticisms” I see people—particularly younger people—beat themselves up for liking something problematic. It’s like every time you engage with media that’s potentially problematic you have to write essays to yourself why it is so and hold yourself accountable. I see this on tik-tok a lot and why I refer to it as “tik tok thought.” Look at the way some young Hamilton fans talk about the musical, or heck even here, and you may see what I mean. It’s like if you don’t acknowledge the problematic aspects of the historical figures behind their fictional portrayals in the show you’re a bad person. Same thing with nostalgic Disney fans my age in younger, if you don’t clown on Ariel for “choosing a man over anything” (SHE LIKED THE SURFACE WORLD BEFORE SHE MET ERIC) you don’t get your brownie points.

I want to make it clear: being critical of media is good. I am glad I see young people and people my age think about the messages we are given in media, but somehow this is turned into ANALYZE EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Ya’ll I’m a grad student. I’m critical most of the time, when I come to my tumblr blog’s lawn I’m here mostly to have some fun, and hey sometimes my fun is being critical. But sometimes it isn’t. You do not have to always be critical. You do not have to beat yourself up for liking something that’s problematic or write an essay about why it is as if that’s your due diligence in stanning a fictional character. I’m going to be honest I used to kind of think I had to justify my likes once, especially because of the Cullen vitriol on tumblr. I worked overtime in my early fanfic efforts to try to prove to the world I knew Cullen was problematic for fear I’d be perceived as just an idiot horny fangirl. Well, let me tell you: I largely don’t think that way anymore. If I want to just enjoy writing some smut or reading some smut with him, I am. But I think there is a second part of this in Cullen fandom currently, a revisionism of his problematic elements. Now, if you have to do mental gymnastics with a character in an effort to ignore problematic elements, perhaps you don’t like the character that much. That’s totally okay. DA has many awesome characters to write about and stan.

So, why Cullen? For so many reasons a bit of a shit show has always followed this character. There’s a divide between fans and his detractors and sometimes there’s a divide within the Cullen fandom. What I can extrapolate for now is the need to keep him squeaky clean and safe and away from anything “problematic” because his of past, his templar roots, or the fact that he’s white when there are POC characters with less content. It reads as a guilt associated with liking him. But please, do not be guilty. He’s not real. Templars aren’t real, mages aren’t real, Cullen isn’t real. Here’s my advice, something I learned while in my directing class in college. What my teacher always said was direct what turns you on, direct a story that gets you thinking, gets you excited. What gets you thinking and excited in a fictional world may be tons of conflict and dramatics, or it may be peace and love. Sometimes it can be both or more. Don’t shame others for coming to a bakery and wanting blueberry when you want cherry, and the baker has both, especially if the baker labels each pie, especially if the recipe for the pie has some salt in it and people like the salt. We can have it all and enjoy it all. What we want in our fiction doesn’t always align with something we may want real life. Lots of people write Modern girl in Thedas stories. Ya’ll if that actually happened to one of us it would probably suck. I’d probably get killed and not even get to meet Cullen and pose around the desk to get things going, so I’d rather it not happen. However, it is fun to read about.

Again, don’t be guilty for liking Cullen, please. But if you have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to like Cullen, maybe you don’t like him at all. To that I say, there are many other amazing characters, or perhaps you could write your own.

#fandom critical #I spent too long on this #deleted a lot #but now it's written and I can move on #Cullen rutherford

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aomineavenue · 4 years

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Homesick (Miya Atsumu x f!Reader) | 007. realizations

Summary: Six years ago, L/N Y/N wouldn’t exactly say that she loves her life. It had always been problematic but her best friend, Miya Atsumu, since she was eight when she moved to Hyōgo, has always been there for her, and she wouldn’t change it for the world. However, things would always fall apart for her ever since, so she should have expected of such. Running away from her problems seemed like the easiest route to take at the time, so what happens when the past comes barging back into her life demanding answers? Will she be able to confront her demons?

Pairings: Miya Atsumu x f!Reader

Updates: irregular.

Genre: Angst, ANGST I LOVE ANGST, a lil bit of fluff here and there.

Warnings: Language, etc. (Will be mentioned once posted because I don’t want spoilers huehue)

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters except for the reader and my ideas. I do not claim any images used for content in this fic, everything goes out to their respective creators unless it is mentioned that it is mine.

Status: ongoing. | series masterlist

↩ dinner disaster | realization | chapter seven bonus ↪

mia’s note(s):

another easter egg found here! can you find it?

i’m so excited because we’re almost done. remember how i said it’s 12 chapters? well, i’ve shortened it ok lmao dont be mad but homesick is almost over hehe

i would just like to personally thank @newfriendjen and @hqstuffsforme bcoz they literally give me the motivation I need to continue writing lmao

The model scrunches her features up in annoyance, puffing her cheeks as if she were a child being deprived of sweets. She flickers her attention over to you, her jaw clenching at the mere fact a woman was seated next to him. “Excuse me.”

You arch an eyebrow, noticing her glowering towards your direction. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” she answers, her eyes betraying the smile she had on, “I believe you’re in my seat.”

The past few weeks had been exhausting for him, and it wasn’t because of their intense training for upcoming games. His exhaustion’s source was mainly from the most recent important events, it took a toll on him emotionally. While this may be true, he understands there wasn’t anyone to blame but himself. The anger still existed somewhere in his mind, displeasing him whenever his thoughts reminded him of the chances he had lost to take care of his kids at a much younger age, but he had tried his best to subdue those particular emotions ever since that night. Chaotic as it was, it took him a step closer towards the realization of what he really needed to do. All he needed now was a little shove.

“‘Tsumtsum!” he hears her screech, the muscles around his shoulders grow tense. The irony of it all, just as they were discussing that horrendous memory of the Christmas Party just last December that he had tried his best to eradicate from his brain due to his own embarrassment, he couldn’t believe the model in question had instantaneously emerged out of thin air. What was she doing all the way here in Kanagawa? It was as if he had no escape from her suffocating clutches. A quick glance towards his brother and he recognizes the criticizing features sewn on his twin’s features and all he could do was share a silent communication, pleading for his aid.

Out of all the times this woman could appear, she appears at the very moment where he was sort of, trying, to redeem himself. Silently, he prays as she snakes her arms around his neck, that you, settled next to him, wouldn’t conclude anything from it, but who was he kidding? The position itself was sufficient evidence for you to come up with the conclusion he’s dreading. He can sense everyone’s eyes on him, the irritation they were radiating for such disruption. As she releases another infuriating squeal, this time an inch away from his ear, he pries her hands away from his neck and wraps his fingers around her wrist to pull her to the side.

Her lower lip juts out to a pout as she stands by the table, ignoring the dirty look he was directing her way. “What’s wrong ‘Tsumtsum? Did you not like my surprise?”

“Surprise?” he disputes, his brows furrowed in confusion as he releases his grip from her wrist, displeasure evident in his tone as he spoke. “Don’t tell me you were stalking me, Yumi.”

She folds her arms across her chest and lets out a scoff of disbelief escape her lips, “You make it sound as if I’m not your girlfriend or something!”

“Well, you aren’t.” he argues, a sigh of frustration escaping his lips, “We’ve talked about this. We’re not together and how did you know I was going to be here anyway?”

“That’s some serious stalking there, Yumi-san.” Hinata quips from his seat innocently, the other individuals around the table attempt their best to contain their sniggering at the sight of the model going red in the face from both anger and embarrassment.

She releases a grunt from her lips, sending a glare towards Hinata’s direction before turning her attention back at him, flashing him an innocent smile. “I don’t care what you say, we’re dating. You can’t just drop me like that. What we have is something special, you love me right? You never really said it before, but I know you’re just being shy, ‘Tsumtsum, it’s o—”

“Please,” He interjects, “Drop it. We’ve discussed this already, Yumi.”

You arch an eyebrow, noticing her glowering towards your direction. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” she answers, her angry eyes betraying the smile she had on, “I believe you’re in my seat.”

“Yumi!” Atsumu hisses, pushing himself to stand from his seat. “Stop this, right now. We’re trying to have a quiet dinner.”

Clearing your throat, you avoid the model’s glare as you stand yourself, “I think I’m full, and I’d like to return to the hospital. She can have my seat.”

“Wait, what?” Reiji chokes, sharing a panic glance over to his current partner in crime across from him. “But we haven’t even gotten to the main course,”

Yumi squeezes her way towards your seat after pulling you away from where you stood with abrupt force, a happy squeal leaving her lips as she occupies the seat you sat on seconds ago, she turns to look up at you, a smug smile evident in her features, “Safe travels.”

“Enjoy the rest of your night, everyone.” you bid, bowing your head slightly before your feet take off towards the exit of the restaurant.

“Good riddance, if you ask me.” Yumi scoffs with a wave of her hand to capture everyone’s attention. She claps her hands together excitedly as she looks up at Atsumu, “I missed you so much, ‘Tsumtsum! You never bring me to dinners with your friends, this is so exciting for our relation—”

As Reiji was practically seething from the side like a predator ready to pounce an attack towards its enemy for disrespecting his best friend like that, and from the sudden thought of regret entering his mind of how he shouldn’t have trusted Atsumu for not doing anything. However, such thoughts were crushed almost instantly at the sight of the furious glare Atsumu was sending over to the model that was seated uninvitedly on your seat.

The sight of a furious Atsumu was enough to send a chill through her spine, as she was about to try to soothe the volleyball player by reaching out for him, he slaps her hands away which causes her to whimper, jutting her lower lip out to pout. “What did I do?”

“Are you serious, Yumi?” he snaps, nails burying into his palms to restrain his growing irritation, “I can’t believe you would do that.”

“Why does it matter?” she whines, trying to reach out for him once again, only to fail as he steps back further, “Are you serious right now? Who was that bitch anyway?”

Reiji interrupts, his voice full of venom from behind the model, “I’d watch your tongue if I were you.”

“Whatever,” she stutters, attempting to look unfazed by the singer’s words by rolling her eyes but her quivering posture radiated otherwise, “She shouldn’t matter, ‘Tsumtsum, let’s just continue dinner.”

“What are you? A child?” Osamu intrudes, not able to hold back his tongue any longer from this model’s personality, “Stop calling my brother such a horrendous nickname like a squealing pig.”

An offended gasp escaped her lips, glowering towards Osamu, “He likes it when I call him that, so sucks to be you! And I’m not a child, I’m a fully grown woman.”

“Could have fooled me,” Asuma mutters underneath his breath.

Yumi lets out a grunt. “Tell them, baby. You like it when I call you—Where are you going?”

He doesn’t spare her a glance, weaving his way through the restaurant to run after you, “I hate that nickname.”

Before Yumi could stand up and follow after him, her path was blocked by the other individuals around the table who had stood up the second they realized Atsumu’s plan of action. “What are you doing? Let me through! You’re all going to regret this!”

Yumi’s screech was the last thing Atsumu heard as he steps out of the restaurant, a part of him feeling bad for his friends being left to deal with Yumi’s ridiculous antics and well, for the other people in the restaurant that might have had their ears traumatized. He never really understood what he saw in her in the first place, it was Yumi who had approached him in the beginning anyway. He should have listened to Osamu instead.

He looks around frantically, wanting to be able to catch up to you. He needed to talk to you, to apologize for Yumi’s behavior. He was just hoping that, somehow, he still had a chance to fix things with you. Hopefully, Yumi’s appearance hadn’t ruined those chances.

He catches a glimpse of your retreating figure walking towards the nearest bus station and he feels his heart soar, you haven't gone too far yet. He doesn’t waste any more time than he already has, sprinting towards your direction, calling out your name.

At the sound of his voice, your name rolling off of his tongue in desperation, you turn your head to look back with confusion. He reaches you almost instantly after you pivot your body to face his direction. Despite looking flustered as he catches his breath, he takes your breath away.

“Oh, sorry.” a feminine voice interrupts his train of thought through memory lane, causing him to turn around, startled, “I didn’t realize someone was already occupying the balcony.”

He lets out an awkward laugh, shaking his head, “No, it’s okay. It’s not like I’d stop you, I don’t own the space or anything.”

“So you don’t mind if I share your space? The party inside is kind of suffocating.” she lets out a sigh, avoiding his gaze sheepishly.

“I don’t mind at all,” he nods, tearing his gaze away from her as she steps out onto the balcony. He returns his gaze over to the buildings of Shinjuku, the different bright hues from various buildings painting the night sky.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

He hums softly, lifting the cold bottle of Sapporo up to his lips to take a quick sip. He lets out a sigh, “Just some stuff, it’s nothing really.” He turns to look over at her when she steps towards the edge of the balcony near him, “Wait, aren’t you Tobio-kun’s sister? The sports journalist?”

She lets out a laugh with a nod of her head, “Yeah, I’m glad I’ve made a name for myself then for some of the players here to recognize me. Though, I don’t think I appreciate being known as Tobio’s sister, not that I’m not proud of my brother or anything.”

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to.” he states sheepishly.

She shakes her head, offering him a small smile. “It’s okay, no worries. You realize the party is inside, don’t you? I think I heard Bokuto-san looking for you or something.”

“I suppose I’m not really in the mood right now,” he mutters underneath his breath, looking back up ahead. “Not really in the right mind space. I don’t really know why I’m telling you this, you’re a journalist.”

She pouts, “I’m not as bad as those gossiping sharks. I prefer to actually produce worthy news. Speaking of news, you’ve been everywhere lately. I suppose it’s hard for you. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if that happens.”

“I don’t mind it,” he admits, his forehead creasing.

“Pardon?”

He lets out another sigh, shifting his position so his back is leaning against the railing of the balcony, “I don’t mind it. I just wish she was left out of things. She doesn’t deserve such slander.”

“I suppose the woman associated in the news with you actually means something to you then,” she muses, “I always thought that model Yumi was irritating. I’m sure her fame will fly out the window sooner or later.”

He lets out a scoff of irritation, taking another swig of the beer in his hand, “Don’t even remind me of her.”

“She’s not really well liked either,” the journalist beside him snickers, “Don’t worry about it too much, you’ll grow wrinkles. Say, Miya-san, do you love her?”

He’s startled by the direct question, if it were not for his tight grip around the beer bottle, it would have slipped from his fingers and came crashing to the floor. No one, not even his brother, had asked him such a question. He never really thought about it, but ever since that night, you were all he could think about. “It’s complicated.”

“A lot of things are complicated.” she starts, tilting her head back up to look at the dark sky from the penthouse balcony, “There will always be complications, you know. But, do you know what’s the bright side of it?”

He turns his head to look over at her in curiosity, “What?”

She lets out a heavy sigh, a sad smile forming on her lips. “For each complicated situation we are in, the only person who can deal with such complications, is ourselves. Everything is in our hands. The only question you should be asking yourself is, what is the outcome you wish to have? Then from there, I’m sure you’ll be able to find a solution to your complicated situation.”

“I wish it were that easy,” he frowns, fluttering his eyelids shut as he lets the cold night breeze brush against his skin.

A laugh escapes her lips, “Nothing is ever easy. Life would be boring if that were the case. But all I can say is, it’s really up to you whether you want to take action or not.”

A comfortable silence engulfs the two occupants on the balcony, the soft chatter from the V.League Association party almost seemed it were music flowing throughout the large penthouse, the usual busy streets of Shinjuku were quiet as the time flew by, signalling how late it had gotten.

“Thank you,” Atsumu breaks the silence, a small smile playing on his lips.

She nods her head, returning his smile with her own, “It’s nothing, really. I may not know what’s really happening, but I know the feeling of being part of a complicated situation. Trust me, I’m having a hard time following my own advice.”

“I’m sure you’ll—”

“Am I interrupting something?”

The two switch their attention over to the man that steps into the comfortable space, Atsumu flickering his gaze back and forth to the woman next to him and the volleyball player that made his appearance. He notes the stiff posture of the woman who had been accompanying him and he comes to the conclusion that it was his cue to leave. “Ah, no Ushijima-san. I believe you’re looking for this one, so I’ll leave you two to it.”

Before Atsumu could leave the two to talk, the woman calls out his name. He glances back over his shoulder, capturing a glimpse of her encouraging smile. “If you love her, you should let her know.”

He gives her an appreciative smile before stepping back inside of the penthouse, the murmur of a chatter earlier from the balcony becoming more clear and loud. Placing the half-empty bottle of Sapporo down on a surface in the lounging area, he glances over at the digital wall clock.

An hour until midnight. It would take him at least an hour or so to travel back to Kanagawa from Shinjuku.

Not wasting another second, despite the calls from his teammates, he leaves the party with determination.

The thin hospital blanket you had requested earlier from a nurse barely gave you any warmth, your body engulfed in a chilly embrace. Not even curling up your body to a fetal position and clinging the white sheets closer gave you any source of heat.

Letting out a groan of frustration, you push the blankets away and shift your body to a sitting position on the rather uncomfortable armchair provided by the hospital, giving up on sleep for the meantime. Aside from the murmur produced from the air conditioner and the steady beeping of Atsuhiro’s vitals indicating a healthy heartbeat from the monitor, it was too silent for your liking.

You realize it was almost midnight after a quick glance at the digital clock that rested on the surface of the side table next to Atsuhiro’s bed, and you couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh. At least Atsuhiro was sleeping peacefully. It had taken a while before he had gotten used to sleeping in another bed that wasn’t his, often waking up in the middle of the night or not being able to sleep at all.

The sound of shuffling breaks your train of thought and you shift your attention over to your sleeping mother who you insisted occupied the small couch. A little sore back was nothing of an appreciation for your mother’s attentiveness to your sons. She had refused to return back to Hyōgo until Atsuhiro had been discharged from the hospital, and despite it taking awhile since there hadn’t been a suitable donor for him yet, not a single complaint had left your mother’s mouth.

You couldn’t help but shoulder the burden of the delay on finding Atsuhiro a donor, the past weeks had been hectic and stressful. And if you were going to be honest, ever since that disaster of a dinner, you had been putting off the idea of having the much needed talk with Atsumu. You were just thankful that Atsuhiro’s condition hadn’t worsened since then.

You were, more or else, afraid, of where or how the conversation was going to end. The doubt you had was not just because of your insecurities, but it was also because, since that night, you hadn’t heard from Atsumu himself. You couldn’t blame him, the night had ended in disaster as well, nor was the morning after very pleasant from being bombarded with strings of questions from your friends.

Fame.

It was something you never got used to despite your friends being in a boy band for so long. You were now under the spotlight, and what was worse was that after some thorough digging by crazy fans, your sons, your precious sons, had been dragged through mud. However, you were grateful for certain fans, the fans of Galaxy Standard in particular, had defended you without much of a command from their idols. As soon as your name, and your kids, were mentioned, they immediately jumped in to defend you. Bless their souls.

Although, you still couldn’t believe it yourself of the events that occurred right after you had exited the restaurant, intent on returning to the hospital.

The already dreadful night takes a turn for the worst, the annoying high pitched shrill being repeated causing you to wince as the woman who had completely ruined, well, a already ruined dinner made her way through the threshold of little sanity that you had left and closed the gap between her and Atsumu by wrapping her arms around his neck from behind where he sat, she was dangerously standing close to you, more so enough for you to maybe stab your chopsticks to her side for her pesky squealing. What is she trying to imitate? A tortured pig?

You didn't bother to cease your eye roll, this is Atsumu's type? Now, you know you aren't all that amazing or anything and looking at the woman clinging to Atsumu, she looked all around amazing, it was pretty obvious that she was a model. However, the personality she was exhibiting was nowhere near your expectations of the women Atsumu would date. It was overbearing.

Instead of dealing with such ridiculous antics from a grown woman acting like a child, you decide it was best to find an excuse to leave. As the opportunity presented itself on a silver platter, you took it without any hesitation despite the quiet protests of Reiji from behind you. Exhaustion had left you with little sanity and dealing with someone like Yumi, well, you weren’t having it.

Saying your polite goodbye, you left without another word, ignoring the pleading looks from your friends. It wasn’t as if you were angry or anything, maybe just a tad on the jealous side when Yumi had introduced herself as Atsumu’s girlfriend, but either than that, you just wanted a quiet night. The rowdy bunch was already enough to drain you, but having to deal with someone like Yumi? Yeah, no thanks.

Stepping out of the restaurant, you shiver from the rush of cold air that brushes against the exposed patches of skin, making you silently regret not bringing a jacket with you. Instead of dwelling on your silly mistake, you wrap your arms around yourself for your momentary source of warmth, rubbing your exposed arms with your soft palms, it would have to do for the meantime.

Luckily, you were familiar with the area since you’ve been to the restaurant more times than you can count, that despite not having a ride back to the hospital, you were at least knowledgeable of the area. You began your journey towards the nearest bus stop, knowing it was still fairly early since the dinner hadn’t even progressed that far yet. Somehow, despite being irritated by Yumi's presence, you were grateful for intrusion, at least you would be able to return to Atsuhiro earlier than expected. You’d have to give Shizuma a call once you return to the hospital to check on Atsuhiko.

Thankfully, the walk to the nearest bus stop was short, because walking in heels was never something you adored, wincing already from the discomfort. You couldn’t wait to take them off for much more comfortable shoes. However, as you neared the bus stop, you hear his pleading shouts of your name and you halt almost instantly. For a moment, you wondered if it were just in your head, but at the sound of shouts mixed with hurried steps grew louder, your heart swells weirdly in your chest. Spinning around, you come to face Atsumu, catching his breath, his hands on his knees.

“What…?” you mutter under your breath, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be entertaining your girlfriend back there?”

As he regains his composure, he pushes himself to stand properly, meeting your gaze instantly. His gaze catching your breath in your throat. Mesmerizing.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he shakes his head, looking at you with sincerity in his eyes, “I promise.”

The corners of your mouth tug down to a frown, “Why are you telling me this, Atsumu? It’s fine. You’re not obligated to tell me who you’re dating. Just because we have kids together, doesn’t mean we should fix our shit and get togeth—”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupts, causing your eyes to widen briefly before your brows furrowed in confusion from his apology. Sensing your confusion, he continues, “I’m sorry for everything. For our shitty past, for not treating you better, for not realizing my idiotic ways. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things.”

You press your lips to a thin line, racking your brain for a response. Well, what were you supposed to say? You had imagined this before, imagined what it would be like when Atsumu apologizes for things, and back then, you would have seen yourself rejecting his apologies, but as you stood there at that very moment, you couldn’t find the anger that you had. Then, you realized. This was Atsumu.

Your best friend since you were eight years old, the one person that always bothered and teased you to no end, but no matter what, you could never find yourself being mad at him for a long period of time. You were always quick to forgive him.

“And, I’m sorry for this,” he breaks your train of thought and you wonder what he means for a second, but as he closes the gap between the two of you as he cups your cheeks in his hands, you don’t fight back.

You let him bring your face closer to his.

You don’t fight back.

Not even when his lips had found its rightful place against your own.

You are pulled from your thoughts at the sound of knocking echoing throughout the quiet room, not realizing how your fingers have found their way against your lips, brushing along its luscious shape, almost as if you were reminiscing the sensation of his lips.

The sound of knocking interrupts you once more and for a second, you had thought you had imagined it, but as it was repeated a few more times, you began wondering who it might be. After crossing the room in long strides, you slide the door open, eyes widening at the man standing before you.

“I love you.”

#atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu imagine #atsumu imagines #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #hq #hq x reader #hq imagine #hq imagines #hq x you #atsumu miya #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader

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waywardrose · 4 years

Text

On Babbushka

There is a group of well-known writers in the fandom who have been discouraged and put down by one of their own, Zannah - @babbushka. It happens behind the scenes in DMs. It happens in posts and tags.

In DMs, she has started conversations with seemingly innocent questions. When she doesn't receive the response she was aiming for, she diverts the conversation to criticizing and humiliating the person. She has attacked writers for tagging—or not tagging—a post in a way she deems appropriate. She has gotten into arguments over how characters were portrayed and then tried to claim victimization when the other person wouldn't knuckle under.

She will appeal to her following to attack any fan or creator who has an opinion that differs from her own. She will encourage friends to send rude anons. Those same friends will also DM the target with rude remarks.

Several creators have stopped writing altogether because of their interactions with her.

We are tired of being discouraged. We are tired of being talked down to. We are tired of being bullied. Enough is enough. Under the cut we share our stories, let the chips fall where they may. It's up to you, the reader, to decide whether to support her.

We can only warn up-and-coming writers, artists, fans, and supporters of her behavior.

Hope - @callmehopeless

The Australian bushfires of the 2019-2020 season were nightmarish—for those living through it and those witnessing. As the season went on, cries for help increased. Joaquin Phoenix used the time during his Best-Actor acceptance speech at the Golden Globes to call for unity, action, and accountability. Regardless of what we may think of him, it was a thoughtful speech.

Hope, who is an Australian, found Mr. Phoenix's message encouraging and reblogged a gifset of his speech.

That morning, Zannah made a post about Mr. Phoenix's shady past and his association with a known sexual predator. The main reason wasn't because his speech was inappropriate or not timely, but because she didn't think he should be the one to get the attention over other actors who had spoken of the bushfires during the Golden Globes.

While Hope confessed she was scared of the bushfires, scared for her loved ones, Zannah was more concerned with purity. To Zannah it was about the face of the message, not the message itself. It didn't matter that Mr. Phoenix was amplifying support for Australia, what did matter was that he had done bad things.

It was virtue signaling on Zannah's part.

Still, this remains a complicated argument. Can a person who has done bad things actually have something positive to add to a cause? Should we listen to a problematic person if they share an insight? Does it reflect poorly on us to agree with their isolated statement? Will we be canceled, too? What about the bigger picture?

In this case, the bigger picture was hundreds of homes were destroyed in the bushfires and families were displaced. People died, thousands of animals died. And it was because of climate change. Mr. Phoenix called for his rich peers to examine their respective lifestyles and to give back.

Yes, Mr. Phoenix has done bad things. Yes, he has associated with people who have done bad things. His words resonated with people on Tumblr, and they reblogged part of his speech. He said something that gave Hope hope.

Hope was asked by a third party how they could help. She came back with a resource guide for those who wanted to send aid to Australians.

When it became obvious Zannah wouldn't silence Hope, Zannah decided to sub-post about the interaction. There, she accused Hope of being a rape apologist for reblogging a gifset and finding a little comfort in it. Zannah placed her ego before someone who was facing a very real danger.

Side-eying an actor is one thing, shaming a person you know for finding solace during a scary time is another. Hope isn't responsible for which voice got picked up. The only "colors" being shown here are Zannah's. She put her own concerns about being perceived as morally pure above actually supporting a friend.

I'll keep this brief - I knew Zannah for many years. And on one of the lowest weeks of my life, when my suburb was burning down and I feared for my family: she convinced me I was a rape apologist for sharing Joaquin Phoenix's speech asking for action on bushfires. In all my life, I never felt more alone. To add insult to injury, she then posted memes mocking me - something that has stuck with me to this day.

I've had dear friends quit the fandom because of her kinkshaming. I've had people I love message me distraught over what she's said.

Enough is enough.

— @callmehopeless

Rose - @the-wayward-rose

This PM exchange started after I tagged my reblog of Zannah's fic Feast (Cameron Bistle x Reader) with cw: white reader. I had been on her taglist, and I wanted to show support because I liked the fic overall. For context, the reason for my tag is because of this sentence:

"But then you're blushing so pretty and squeezing his hand affectionately and reaching for the handle to the passenger side of his car, and then you're laughing when he swats your hand away to open it for you, and then you're beckoning him down as if to ask a question – only to place a chaste kiss to his lips instead."

This is from Cameron's point of view.

She asked the reason for the tag, and I explained it was because of the use of "blush" to describe Reader's appearance.

She misunderstood my premise. I did not mean only white people blush.

According to Merriam-Webster, blush means "a reddening of the face especially from shame, modesty, or confusion" or "a red or rosy tint."

It is an autonomic response, though. It happens in all humans for body cooling and nonverbal communication. The main problem with using it universally is that melanin obscures the appearance of said autonomic response.

Here's an example of three runners:

The two pale women, left and center, are pink in the face. They are blushing. The woman of color on the right is likely blushing, too. However, the melanin in her skin obscures the blood in her cheeks. She is not pink.

That's the pitfall of the word "blush." The observer can't always see it. We know what it feels like. We all do it. The face and/or neck gets hot. The use of "blush" is shorthand in narrative, and I understand that. Nevertheless, when writing to cater to a reader-insert audience of unknown heritage, writers need to consider describing with universal terms.

Again, she misunderstood my premise. I clarified by asking how Cameron sees the Reader blush under an abundance of melanin:

She sidestepped the physiological explanation to go straight for justification. She tried to legitimize "blush" as "perhaps [this]" or "perhaps [that]" when I stated earlier that blush by definition is pink or is to redden. That's the logic. A noncommittal, covering-all-the-bases, complicated defense diluted the conversation.

With her earlier "I have friends of color, hence I can't be exclusionary" statement, I wasn't sure she would get my point. I take full responsibility for not explaining, too. I should've asked for some time to gather my thoughts, but I didn't. Truthfully, I was unprepared, because I didn't think my insignificant tag would be an issue.

Also, I was confused why she was trying to police my blog.

Her replies came rapidly—before I could mention my confusion—and felt aggressive in the moment. Maybe that wasn't her intention, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

That doesn't take away from the fact that words have meaning. It's why we use specific words. It's not understood in the narrative that her use of "blush" could mean a bunch of things. If I had known, I wouldn't have tagged as I did. How is a reader of color supposed to know that? How does Cameron see Reader's blush if she has darker skin?

As writers, we don't know who is reading. Someone could be very pale or very dark. A person with medium-toned skin can turn a shade of pink or red. A person with darker-toned skin will not. We can't assume all readers are medium to pale. We need to develop better writing skills. We have to include everyone.

Readers of color > White-writer feelings

When I stood my ground, she doubled down, stating I made no sense in my tagging and that I lacked the ability to learn from her. She then diverted the argument, attacking a ficlet I wrote a few days beforehand—which had nothing to do with this argument. The Christian imagery in that ficlet was upsetting to her and "in such poor taste" because she headcanons Flip Zimmerman (BlacKkKlansman) is 100% culturally and ethnically Jewish.

Flip stated in the movie:

"I'm Jewish, but I wasn't raised to be. It wasn't part of my life. I never thought much about being Jewish. Nobody around me was Jewish. I wasn't going to a bunch of Bar Mitzvahs. I didn't have a Bar Mitzvah. I was just another white kid. And now I'm in some basement denying it out loud[...] I never thought much about it. Now I'm thinking about it all the time. About rituals and heritage. Is that passing? Well then, I have been passing."

By his own admission, Flip is ethnically Jewish, but not culturally. These are two separate things, and that should be recognized. While Judaism is ethnically and culturally entwined in ways that other religions are not, one does not equate the other. You can be one and not the other.

At the time, I didn't want her to sic her 3000+ followers on me. I wasn't going to argue further. I asked myself if the ficlet was important and worth anon-hate and realized, no, it wasn't. It was a throw-away.

And since I'm not culturally Jewish, maybe I had misstepped. And since Zannah is both culturally and ethnically Jewish, I asked for her guidance.

She flatly refused my request. I don't know how I was supposed to learn from her if she wouldn't teach me.

It sounded as if she wanted me to delete the whole fic. Like none of it was worth saving because it hadn't been Zannah-approved. I had gone against her headcanon, and the fic was too offensive to fix.

The last sentence was supposed to cover her back from criticism, and it placed all the responsibility on me. Obviously, she was above such petty concerns as someone else's blog or writing. Never mind that she had just attempted to get me to change my tagging system and rewrite my ficlet. On my blog.

Later, I figured out she was only criticizing and not offering a constructive critique. Her argument was not in good faith. It was retaliation for not giving her the obedience she thought she was owed.

This is the passage that offended her:

"It’s because of the way he fucks you. Like it’s confession—though he’s never been much of a church-going man. Every touch, every thrust, is a truth between you. Even when it’s rough and greedy. It feels like flagellation when you claw his back. He wears the sin proudly."

This is what I edited it to:

"It’s because of the way he fucks you. Every touch, every thrust, is a truth between you. Even when it’s rough and greedy. It feels like flagellation when you claw his back. He wears your marks proudly."

Yeah, I'm not pleased with the revised passage. It's lost its teeth, but I keep it.

The anonymous message(s) she mentioned weren't very anonymous, either. Unfortunately, I've since deleted the two messages. I had apologized to Anon for disappointing them. I said that if the fic was too much, they should unfollow and block me. I meant that in a self-care way. At the same time, I did not—and do not—owe anyone discourse. I don't have to explain my art when it doesn't hurt anyone. And no one was hurt by some purportedly misplaced religious imagery.

I have been silent about this since late January/early February. I was embarrassed. I had been bullied into changing my blog and my fic by someone who proclaims to never do anything of the sort. I had been a fool. Since this conversation with her, I have been blocked/blacklisted by third-parties, most likely at her behest, when none of this exchange had been necessary.

Kassanovella - @kylorengarbagedump

Zannah's followers have asked her about Kassanovella’s Fix Your Attitude. For context, it's currently one of the most kudo-ed fics for Kylo Ren x Reader on AO3. It had a bit of a renaissance earlier in 2020 because a TikToker wrote a song for it.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to read a fic. If the subject matter doesn't work for a reader, they don't have to partake. Easy as that. So, these tags aren't a problem.

However, it led to this...

She lashed out, calling Kassanovella's fic a joke. A joke.

She implied her fics should be as popular as Kassanovella's because she works really hard on them. She admitted she's tied to the metrics. She implied she wouldn't be writing fic if not for the external validation.

Here's the thing about fanfic: readers like what they like. They don't care about a writer's effort. They only know what works for them. They comment and give kudos, reblog and like what they connect with. That is not under the writer's control. All a writer can do is try their best and concentrate on what they're passionate about.

To bash another writer's fic because it's popular is disrespectful. This whole bitter rant drips of entitlement and is an affront to Kassanovella.

Some time later, an incident happened in a chatroom during a streaming event for veterans by Arts In the Armed Forces (Adam Driver's organization). At least one fan brought up Fix Your Attitude while waiting for Mr. Driver to make an appearance. They were also disrespectful towards the other presenters by demanding to see Mr. Driver. It caused a big stink within the fandom, and Zannah had some choice words.

While mentioning the fic during the livestream was inappropriate, it was also inappropriate to throw all fans of the fic under the bus as she did in her tag. Sweeping generalizations and incriminations of a subset of fans certainly reads as if she resents those fans for a perceived slight.

Next, Zannah made an earlier disparaging comment about Kassanovella's fic, Little Bird. Unfortunately, that comment is lost. However, the messages supporting the comment remain. (For context, Little Bird is a Kylo Ren x Reader The Handmaid's Tale AU. It has been well received in the fandom, earning thousands of kudos on AO3.)

What an author wants to write about and sexualize is their business. Fantasizing about being dominated by Kylo Ren isn't cringe. It's a sexual fantasy. Some sexual fantasies can be disturbing to those who do not share the same kink.

Sexual fantasies are like ice cream. There's a reason why there are different flavors.

Also, "I will never ever be a person that tells an author what to do or not do" is an absolute lie. As evident in this post, Zannah most definitely tells authors what to do or not do.

Again, she bashes Kassanovella, claiming her writing isn't good. Her motivation for bashing Kassanovella can only be speculation. With Zannah's previously stated opinion of Fix Your Attitude, though, it indicates a certain level of negative emotions.

Anonymous

An anonymous person came forward with a case of Zannah policing their blog. Anon has a sideblog for their personal AU with Flip Zimmerman. They reblog gifsets and post headcanons. They were an enthusiastic fan of Zannah's and reblogged a few of the gifset she made. Anon tagged their reactions, and Zannah blocked them for it.

Anon went to Zannah and asked why they were blocked, because all they wanted to do was have fun and support fellow Flip lovers.

Anon was under the impression that because they were shipping themselves, and not Zannah, with Flip, she blocked them. Their personal AU doesn't align with Zannah's headcanon that she alone is married to this character and has his children.

While Zannah's reply may sound innocent, and perhaps it is, it also speaks to someone who has set herself up as the owner of Flip Zimmerman. (Wait until Spike Lee or the real Ron Stallworth hears about that...) It appears that if a fan does not comply with the Zannah-approved headcanon, where only she is married to Flip, that fan shall be blocked. If a fan uses tags on their blog that she does not approve of, that fan will be blocked.

Zannah's policing is disturbing. Going into a blog to look for something as a reason to block is disturbing. Any fan is allowed to use any tag on their blog how they wish. If the OP has said their post can be reblogged, how a reblogger tags is beyond the OP's control. To punish that reblogger for not behaving in a way she finds acceptable is uncalled for and unjust.

Anonymous

Backstory: Zannah does not view Ben Solo's arc in the Star Wars sequel trilogy as acceptable canon. However, she does view the story she created for Flip Zimmerman in BlacKkKlansman as completely canon.

This is not the first time she has been asked to clarify her position. Nor is it the first time she has avoided giving an on-topic response. A question asked in good faith should be responded to in kind.

If a creator doesn't want to address the issue, they can state that they don't. Deflecting from the question only muddies the waters. Fans feel dismissed. The creator feels hounded, and comes across as irritated and unapproachable. No one has a positive fandom experience.

There is nothing wrong with having a headcanon. What is wrong is Zannah mandating her headcanon for Flip on the whole fandom. As evident in this post, if a fan does not comply with her headcanon, they will be summarily blocked.

Also, there is nothing wrong with rejecting canon. Writers of transformative works have always done this. The problem is shaming fans who have accepted canon while not offering justification for that shaming. A creator saying they "can't help them" is the creator washing their hands of responsibility from articulating their thoughts when they themselves began criticizing the canon in the first place.

Again, this is a bad-faith argument. Creators can't ask for discussion and attention and then get mad when their viewpoints are challenged. Just because a discussion isn't going a creator's way doesn't mean it's an attack, either. It means people want clarification, and if one criticizes, they should be able to back up their criticisms.

While sharing our stories has been freeing, it's not our aim as fellow fans to cancel Zannah. We would hope she would take the opportunity to reflect on the damage she has done to the fandom. We hope we all can move forward with a more approachable and supportive scene.

No one person speaks for our fandom. The actions of one fan do not represent the entire fandom. Whether creator or consumer, you are welcome here.

[posted July 25, 2020]

#babbushka #reader insert #flip zimmerman x reader #kylo ren x reader

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its-bound-to-get-loud · 4 years

Text

Speculating about sexuality

It’s time to get a little controversial on this blog. Or at least talk about a controversial subject. I’ve recently seen some fandom discourse about this subject from multiple sources. A lot of people have the opinion that discussing a celebrity’s sexuality is a bad thing, something you shouldn’t do. I strongly disagree.

Full disclosure, I’m a Larrie. I’m a 1D fan who believes Harry and Louis are a couple. I’m also a 5SOS fan. Now I know many 5SOS fans seem to be wary of Larries in particular. I know some people have taken it too far sometimes. But also, it’s hard to compare Larry/1D to 5SOS in many ways, because Larry and 1D themselves have done a lot of things to encourage fans looking into things they normally might not. It feels to me as if 5SOS fans saw the things that happened in the 1D fandom, turned around and decided to do the exact opposite. This is a good thing in some ways, but it also leaves no room for critical thinking.

Now back to 5SOS. I’ve had a few conversations about this topic and what it comes down to is this. 5SOS are famous, they live a life that’s (partially) being seen by the public and the media. Now this will sound cold, but it’s a fact: 5SOS are a product. When we interact with them on social media, we interact with a product. In the end they want to keep selling their music to us. In order to do so, engaging with fans is part of their job. It doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy it, it doesn’t mean they’re not genuine. If you work in a supermarket part of your job may be stocking shelves. You have to do it because it’s your job, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it as well.

Part of the product that is 5SOS is their relationships. We see their girlfriends plastered over their social media, they mention them in interviews, etc. That’s not something they HAVE to do generally speaking. If we are to assume that (for argument’s sake) all 3 current 5SOS relationships are genuine, then they don’t have to show us their girlfriends if they don’t want to. This means they either choose to do so, because that’s what they want, or these girlfriends are being presented to us for a reason (PR, bearding, etc.). Which of these it is, is for you to decide. Both options make them become part of the product. We are allowed to question that product, since we are the ones consuming it. If the person in question has made comments that can be regarded as them hinting at not being straight they open the door even further. You cannot tell someone to come over and then slam the door in their face because they get too close.

If 5SOS want to they can keep their relationships private. Their social media profiles are not the same as ours. They are a representation of the product they are. A representation of their image. That’s why celebrities often have private profiles as well, where they can share private things that they don’t want to share with the public.

The 5SOS girlfriends themselves are a product as well. They all have careers that involve being in the public eye, they are just as well selling us a version of themselves. 2 public people dating does not mean we automatically HAVE to see that they are dating. Celebrities can keep things a secret or low-key if they want to. In fact, I’d dare to argue they have more tools to do so than you and I.

You can look at it like this, if I’m buying a laptop I’m doing research online, I’ll check out reviews. I’ll ask questions at the store. I question the product before I buy it. That’s not that different from what we do as fans. Before we buy their music we question if this is a product we want to buy. Most of the time that’s an unconscious decision we make. Sometimes a product can becomes unsatisfactory after a while and we choose to move on from it. I know it sounds cold, but it’s not that different with celebrities. If 5SOS keep showing me their public girlfriends on their public social media, I get to question that. If I come to the conclusion that I think that what they are telling me is false. I get to discuss that. Being a fan does not equal always taking things at face value.

There’s also a double standard in this fandom. Some people are more than willing to yell about how problematic and toxic the girlfriends are in their opinion. Which means they are allowed to poke into (what they think is) a real relationship between 2 people. When Luke says Teeth is about Sierra, they question his words and don’t hesitate to say their relationship is toxic. But when it comes to sexuality suddenly that’s a no go. I am absolutely not a fan of the way some of the way girlfriends behave. As long as this happens in a fandom environment I am also fine with talking about that. But if you disapprove of one thing and then do something similar, maybe it’s time you start practicing what you preach or leave people to have their own opinions.

This doesn’t mean you should tell the guys directly that you think their relationship is not real or that you think they are not straight. You don’t harass their friends, their crew, and their family about this. Discussing a celebrity’s sexuality/relationship should stay limited to fandom spaces. With social media it’s a lot easier for celebrities to see what we say about them. Therefor I always suggest being mindful of what you say (they may be a product, but they are still people). Personally it’s why I enjoy Tumblr, because most celebrities don’t go on here and (most of the time) we can safely discuss things that are more difficult to discuss in a place like Twitter. I will say, just because we are questioning a product, it doesn’t mean we get to be rude in the process. You generally don’t go to the store and start yelling at the salesperson if you don’t agree with what they tell you.

People seem to think it’s disrespectful to say someone is gay. Why? Is there anything wrong with being gay? Absolutely not. We live in a society that’s very heteronormative, being straight is seen as the “default” sexuality. It should not be. If you’re going to argue that it’s disrespectful to say someone is gay, then please also don’t assume they are straight. You can have personal thoughts, sure. I have personal thoughts on the specific sexuality of the guys in 5SOS as well. But I keep in mind that my personal thoughts aren’t a fact. I could be wrong. So unless someone has specifically stated their sexuality it’s best to not assume anything and keep an open mind.

Then finally I want to briefly touch on a topic that goes hand in hand with what I’ve talked about: shipping. Some people have a problem with shipping when it comes to real people. For some people shipping is just enjoying the idea of 2 people together even if you think they aren’t. While other people truly believe in that relationship. There’s nothing wrong with any of that as long as it doesn’t become invasive. It all comes back to what I’ve said before. We are consuming a product. The relationships between the 5SOS guys are a huge part of that product. The chemistry between them is part of why we love them. I’m not saying they are pretending to like each other. I fully believe their chemistry is genuine, but it does help sell the product. It also means that sometimes the guys/their team plays into that chemistry to sell the product.

They guys should not have a problem with fans shipping them together, because it’s not up to them to decide that. They sell us their relationships, so we get to form opinions about that. If we stay in our own fandom space and do not become invasive by showing them or people around them fandom content (fics, headcanons, manips, etc.). Then they should not come into our spaces and invade stuff we enjoy in that space. I get super uncomfortable whenever I see celebrities reading fanfiction or being read fanfiction. Fanfiction about them is not for them. It’s made for fans to enjoy and they should stay away from that. I want to encourage you to go and read this answer* about shipping real people. Because sometimes other people’s words say it better than my own words ever could.

With that we have reached the end of this post. As usual I am always open to discuss this in an adult manner. If you feel like you have anything to add to this discussion, feel free to send me an ask/dm. Or reply to this post. If you like/agree with what I write I would love it if you reblogged this post. That’s the only way more people can see it. My blog is small, so reblogs are very much needed to keep the discussion going. Don’t think of coming in my inbox and yelling at me how everything I said is wrong and bad and awful, because it is only going to get you blocked. If you don’t agree, that’s fine, but I’m not going to tolerate any hate.

Finally, just because you are allowed to speculate and question whatever 5SOS or any other celebrity/influencer tells you, doesn’t mean you have to. If that’s not your cup of tea, then that is more than fine. The reason I wrote this post is because we need to stop making people who think critically about the things they are being told, feel guilty about what they do.

* Please note that the author of this post does not have anything to do with what has been written in this post. If you have a problem with anything in this post, please direct it to me and not them.

#5 Seconds Of Summer #5SOS #Ashton Irwin #Calum Hood #Luke Hemmings #Michael Clifford #original #sexuality

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