#and some of it for the cookbook im working on lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

articskele · 1 year ago

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POSTS THAT MAKE ME CRAZYINSANE FOREVER OHHHHH MY GOD- AAAAAAAAAA >w<

THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I'VE HAD TO STOP READING JUST TO FLAP MY HANDS BC IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS. WE ARE COOKING!!!!!! WE'RE COOKING SO HARD RN :D AND DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG THIS IS I LOVE ITTTTTTTT

BESIDES MY RESPONSE IS SUPER LONG TOO- DO YOU LOVE THE COLOR OF THE THNEED KALSJFKLDSF

OHHH MY GOD YOU MAKE SUCH GOOD POINTS

YES that's the blueprint I was referring to!! And the way he labeled everything is sooo goofy I love ittt <3

As for food prep, thneed dough comes to mind? Like you could get it wet and knead it into a dough-like substance which makes it easier to work with in cooking and makes the texture smooth instead of fuzzy!!

I've always thought that anyone could use thneeds in cooking ouo. AND RESTAURANTS BUYING THNEEDS WHOLESALE AS INGREDIENTS IS SOOOO REAL

OMG AND THERE ARE DEFINITELY COOKBOOKS THAT ARE LIKE “100 WAYS TO COOK A THNEED”. ESPECIALLY WITH HOW IT DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TASTE ON ITS OWN AND CAN ABSORB FLAVORS AND ACT AS A BASE IT SERVES AS LIKE A VERSATILE STAPLE FOOD

Oh thneed cotton candy is DEFINITELY a thing- Since unprocessed tufts are so wispy I imagine you could just add flavoring and spin it into cotton candy without needing to knit it into a thneed first, since knitting it is what gives it the structure to function in most foods!!

OOH a really interesting idea is how tufts at different stages respond to water!!! I love the idea of a truffula tree's tufts getting all soggy in the rain and it droops a little from the weight aksfjd

Meanwhile tufts spun into something cotton candy esque actually dissolve in liquid! Those drinks that have cotton candy at the top where you pour something on it to make it dissolve and mix in with the rest of the drink comes to mind :D

And then knitted thneeds are great at absorbing liquid and flavors and all that, though kneading it into dough does make them more malleable!! Like you couldn't just cut a thneed in half or else it'll fray, but you can split up the dough just fine!

Also that "it'll cure those backache pains in your chest" line from the 1972 version makes me think of thneed food being advertised as good for your heart health?

YEESSSS TRUFFULA FRUITS ARE EVERYTHING TO ME. I NEED TO MAKE TRUFFULA FRUIT BAKED GOODS SO BADDDDD. I can just smell the fruit filling bubbling in a pot and that rich red-purple color....... -u- Them being more expensive fruits that you don't wanna mess up is so real and true

OOH PEOPLE TRYING TO GROW THEIR OWN TREES WITH THE SEEDS. Maybe they grow faster like in the 2012 version and there were some little saplings around Thneedville at one point, but they don't last because of the poor air/water quality or being harvested before they can mature? That scene in the 1972 version where a tree outside Ye Annex Annex gets uprooted comes to mind!

Or maybe they take 20-30 years to mature like in the 1972 version, so eventually people just assume it isn't growing and give up- NOT TO MENTION HOW THE TREES NEED SPECIFIC CONDITIONS TO GROW IN AND BY SCREWING OVER THE LAND THEY CAN'T GROW ANYMORE GRAAAAAAAAHHH

Truffula tree voice ugh the pH of the soil is too high, I believe I may die......... Grickle grass voice FUCK YEAH CONCRETE

THE TRANSITION TO BUTTERFLY MILK EXTRACT AND SUBSTITUTES AND PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THE TINY DIFFERENCES LOL

Admittedly I don't know squat about perfumes but I can already see those dramatic butterfly milk perfume commercials, and people going on about all the intricacies of the scent- SCENTED CANDLES OHHH MY GOD. I think some fancy candles have stuff sprinkled on top so what if there are little truffula tufts :o

THNEEDBLRRRR- Loving the idea that someone else originally made the site but the Onceler bought and rebranded it later on. Or maybe he was the original creator, who knows! I need to see what kinda posts people would make on there- Mayhaps in another universe, the Onceler blogs about us........

DEEP FRIED THNEED. THNEED DONUTS. COAT A THNEED IN BREADING AND MAKE IT LIKE FRIED CHICKEN

OOH AND THE THING THAT ORIGINALLY GAVE ME THE IDEA OF TRUFFULA FRUIT SYRUP AND JAM IS THESE OLD CHARACTER BIOS. It states that the Lorax's favorite food is truffula berry pancakes, which makes me think of pancakes with truffula fruit syrup being served with truffula fruit slices and berries on the side ouo!!

ALSO while I was searching for the bios I found this, which is interesting bc it doesn't show truffula fruits as the pear shape we see in the movie!

(Also at one point that old promotional website with the bios referred to the Onceler as Alex, presumably as some kind of typo or autocorrect?? And I've heard that there was an old interview that said the Onceler's last name is Baxley, but I haven't found any leads or evidence of that so I doubt it's legitimacy.)

WAIT IIBORONII DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE CONFNEECTION BUILDING IN THE ONCELER'S BLUEPRINTS BECAUSE I'M SO ILL ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES OF THE CONFNEECTION BUILDING-

ALSO just the fact that thneeds are canonically both edible and smokeable according to the 1972 Everybody Needs a Thneed song is amazing to me aksjfsdlkf

NO EXPLAIN THIS RIGHT NOW PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE CONFNEECTION BUILDING LORE IS,,, ALSO HELP THAT LIVES SOOO RENT FREE IN MY HEAD. Like I literally hear "try it in soup, it adds great zest!" in my head sometimes and I'm like "the thneed WHAT?????" And the imagery of someone smoking a thneed?? Priceless. Aaaaaah I love oncelerposting it's my favorite summer activity

#TAKE MY HADN. BE INSANE WITH ME >:D #ONCELER THEORIST SUMMER IS REAL AND EVERYONE IS INVITED. I HAVE LEMONADE FOR ALL OF YALL #OH AND ABOUT THE AUS #i have info on both of them but it's super scattered so i'm gonna make big infodump posts about em so everything's in one spot!!#i'll be sure to tag you or send a message or smth when they're done :D #the lorax #<- in case you're wondering i only use the lorax tag for more general stuff related to the setting so it doesn't get crowded lol

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gallavich-headcanon · 2 years ago

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heyhey~ i have to warn you, the more comfortable i get the more messages youll get from me hdbxh

im in a restaurant right now and just had this idea appear out of nowhere and would like your opinion of it, namely:

gallavich cookbook, incl:

chef/book author mickey

food photographer ian

meet ugly (im not super set on any particular meeting, any thoughts?)

slow burn

both immediate sexual tension and unbearable awkwardness

having to work together for months because mickey refuses to rush any recipe and insists on ian taking pictures in a chronological order (meaning once mickey comes up and perfects recipes ian has to get to his kithen/apartment to take the pictures of the process and final dish)

at some point ian catches himself taking more pictures of mickey than the dishes and is embarassed abt it but still cant help looking them over once hes alone

obligatory canon compliant: ian falls first mickey falls harder

thoughts? uwu

OH I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING!

I am a sucker for meet uglies in general but with I&M it's truly chef's kiss. What do you think about bumping into each other in the supermarket before the works together? Ian is staring at the organic tomatoes (as he does) it give him inspiration, okay? and Mickey wants him the move out of his way, because Mickey has finally found inspiration for the dish he wants to make and it would make perfect sense in his new book- why won't this giant carrot cake MOVE already? so yeah he snaps at the stranger in front of the tomatoes.

Oh, slow burn, my beloved. Working with each other for weeks, waiting for Mickey to come up with the recipes, reshooting them again and again because they are both crazy and need it to be perfect.

Maybe at the beginning Mickey wont let Ian taste his food, even after the shoot is done? pure out of spite?

at some point ian catches himself taking more pictures of mickey than the dishes -> Yesss. It's kind of embarrassing when he shows a colleague some of his work and accidently comes across the Mickey folder.

What if one night Mickey is making this dish that has to bake for like 4 hours and they start in the afternoon but when it comes out, it's not what Mickey wanted. He wants to start over, but it's getting late. Ian just wants to get over with this one, so they start over. While waiting for it to bake, they drink some wine and Ian falls asleep on the couch. Mickey doesn't have the heart to wake him? I don't know where I'm going with this lol

both immediate sexual tension and unbearable awkwardness = the perfect combo.

#marstheterrible #gallavich au #photographer au #chefs au #chef mickey #shameless #ian x mickey #meet ugly #food photography #cook book #photographer ian

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sunflowerhotline · 5 years ago

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT.3

🦩Neptune in 1st and 5th people can often suffer from conditions like body dysmorphia due to an innate inability to see themselves as they truly are. keep in mind that this is not always the case but it is certainly very common with this aspect.

🦩In synastry, jupiter, uranus and/or venus in the 1st house is indicative of the planet person loving the house person’s body. jupiter likes and appreciates the ascendant’s body and usually goes out of their way to make the house person feel good about themselves, inside and out. uranus tends to be wholly accepting of the house person’s body which is usually a very welcomed feeling for the house person. venus usually sees the house person as their physical ideal.

🦩Aquarius MC natives usually do something first, then people follow. they’re trendsetters.

EX: Matisse Thybulle (20° Aquarius MC) is the NBA player who started “NBA Bubble Vlogs” and then many other players started doing the same thing.

🦩The house that the 8th house ruler falls in indicates your soulmate.

EX: 8th house ruler (Saturn) in 11th could indicate that your soulmate is one of your [older//male] friends.

🦩2nd house ruler in the 2nd house indicates spending money on or investing in things that bring you comfort. this is also a position indicative of emotional eating and emotional shopping.

🦩people with 8th house suns and 11th house suns tend to be very difficult people to truly get to know.

8th house suns are more outwardly mysterious so it’s less surprising when one realises they don’t know much about them.

11th house suns are seemingly more open and are very friendly. they relate to people in a way that gives others the impression that they know everything about them when they really don’t.

🦩mercury in 12th house people have others talk over them on a regular basis. they’ll be in the middle of a sentence and someone just cuts them off and starts talking about something else or they just get ignored completely.

🦩a lot of people with 10th and 11th house stelliums are actually introverts. they can be social butterflies when they’re ready and they do love interacting with others and meeting new people but social interaction can actually be draining for these people. these are the people who are the life of the party when they go to an event but then disappear and go into hibernation for 3 months after.

🦩moon square saturn in synastry is a lot more common than people even realise. many, many, many married couples have this aspect together! it may be a more difficult aspect to have but the people who have this aspect in their synastry usually believe that they’re gonna be together forever (and they usually are) so eventually they decide to work out their problems. i’ve noticed that couples with this aspect get closer to each other after experiencing any kind of hardship or tragedy; their bond is strengthened through overcoming things together. it’s not easy but it is an indicator of undying devotion.

🦩pisces and sagittarius placements get along way better than cookbook astrology gives them credit for. they seem to really compliment each other. pisces usually softens sagittarius up and sagittarius usually appreciates the pisces kindness. they accept each other’s differences really well and allow each other to be who they are. they give each other the freedom they both require.

🦩someone’s ascendant conjunct your midheaven (mc) may indicate that you look up to them. in a sense, they’re everything you’ve ever wanted to be…or they at least come off that way

🦩people with hard mercury-saturn aspects have deep and (kinda) monotone voices. they have a tendency to talk slowly; they take their time with their words. when explaining something they also have a tendency to say “uh//hmm//umm” or “do you know what i mean?”. they’re voices are also pretty recognisable

EX: Harry Styles (Aquarius Mercury @ 29° conjunct Pisces Saturn @ 0°) has a distinct, deep speaking voice. In interviews, he is known to speak slowly as if he’s really thinking about what he is saying or is about to say. he is also a frequent user of “ahm” in his sentences.

🦩virgo placements are really good at folding.

🦩MANY MANY MANY MANY musicians have neptune in 3rd. it bestows a sort of mesmerising musical talent to the natives who are blessed enough to have this placement. they have great voices and may also be gifted with instruments.

EX: Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Madonna, Kurt Cobain, Britney Spears, Harry Styles (again lol), John Mayer, Jaden Smith, Dua Lipa, Marvin Gaye, Louis Armstrong, Halsey etc.

🦩neptune in 10th natives can have a “can’t-do-wrong” reputation. people can see them as angels on earth even when that may not be the case. these people could also do some kind of humanitarian work for a living or be involved with many causes. many people with this placement complain about being seen in a way that isn’t who they truly are. neptune in the house of public perception tends to allow others to project whatever they want onto the native; they can be very misunderstood by people around them.

EX: Diana, Princess of Wales, Oprah Winfrey, Jesus Christ, Bernie Sanders, Walt Disney, Aaliyah, Gigi Hadid.

🦩women with their moon in a house ruled by a masculine planet (1st, 5th, 7th, 9th, 10th, 11th) could have many male friends but have trouble maintaining some friendships with men because the male friend may develop romantic feelings for her. it happens A LOT.

the opposite goes for men. men with their moons in feminine houses (2nd, 4th, 8th, 12th) could have many female friends but one or a few of them may develop feelings for him. these are more private houses so she/they may never confess their feelings

🦩people with 10th house venus often attract and go for older partners and im not talking about people who are like 20 years older (ik that can happen but it’s a rare case) but people who are like right outside their age group so maybe 5-6 years older.

these people can also experience getting “hit on” by older people while they are very young.

🦩air mars gets a reputation for being lethargic, overly polite, non-physical and low energy but air martians just need an outlet to put their energy into. lots of athletes have air mars

EX: Kobe Bryant (Libra Mars), Kyrie Irving (Aquarius Mars), Bam Adebayo (Libra Mars), Tiger Woods (Gemini Mars), Tom Brady (Gemini Mars), Lance Armstrong (Aquarius Mars), Lou Gehrig (Libra Mars), Floyd Mayweather (Aquarius Mars), Marcus Smart (Aquarius Mars)

🦩lots of basketball players also have venus-mars aspects

EX: Kawhi Leonard ( conjunction in Leo), Kobe Bryant (conjunction in Libra), Jayson Tatum (sextile - capricorn/pisces), Vince Carter (sextile - pisces/capricorn), Steph Curry (trine - taurus/capricorn), Zion Williamson (conjunction in Cancer), Lonzo Ball (conjunction in Sagittarius), Magic Johnson (conjunction in Virgo)

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sup3rstarr · 4 years ago

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If you're open to requests could I get some headcannons of mammon with a reader who loves to cook and bake, especially for them? There's no recipe they won't try, and often swap recipes with Barbatos and Luke.

I love giving the people I care about freshly baked cookies and cakes and anything delicious!

hi! sorry its taken me a while to respond, lots of tests and projects going on sadly.

warnings- none, just pure fluff lols (my occasional cursing)

summary- mammon enjoying your baking :))

first off, don't get me wrong, he loves your cooking, but he is oddly picky

like, if he sees something in a muffin say, and he doesn't know what it is bc he's stupid he will either just not eat it all together or pick it out until it turns into a big mess

sometimes he finds you hard at work in the library, and he thinks you're studying but in reality your flipping through devildom cookbooks to try and find recipes they might like better

it makes him so happy to see you doing things you love, so when he finds you at work in the kitchen he'll do whatever work he has to do in there or just sit and watch you work

sometimes he feels a bit adventurous and wants to bake something for you in return, he ends up setting the cookies on fire. its ok mammon, we can't be good at everything.

when he finally figures out how to bake cookies correctly, hes so damn proud of himself its so cute

he posts a shit ton of pics on devilgram and youre so proud of him

he just wants to impress you

he gets a wee bit jealous when you make these really cool cakes for everyone's birthday, but when he sees the cake you make him with little hearts all over it, he wants to cry he loves it sm he thinks is rly cute

when you ask for him to go to the celestial realm to go bake with luke hes just like *wtf* but you seem eager so he begrudgingly agrees to go with you

ofc hes not annoyed anymore watching you

he just overall loves anything you do, so he wants to be involved with you when you bake

BYE OMG okay sorry im so bad at this i hope this is to your liking :)))

remember asks r open and these r lowkey so fun to write so keep em comin, also break is this week so my updates will hopefully be more frequent

have a nice day!

ALSO IM WORKING ON A MASTERLIST STAY TUNED

(also have u guys watched just add magic cuz thats all i could think about while writing this LMFAOOO)

#obey me mammon #obey me fluff #obey me #baking #help im sorry if this is bad im gonna fehwdjjfhhfw #just add magic

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slytherinbarnes · 3 years ago

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omg I just did my english lit 1 paper and now I NEVER HAVE TO THINK ABOUT MACBETH AGAIN??? DO YOU KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL THAT IS???? CRYING FOR JOY

i was also just stress baking some brownies today and i randomly thought about la lune just baking and being happy in the epilogue :(((( they deserve sm happiness and im so glad you gave it to them

also started feeling really nostalgic for the sub rosa era like i'd take a break from school work just to read the new updates. miss it sm :((((

also matilda from the new harry styles album definitely makes me think of la lune

also

here's a pic of my dog to make your day better

sorry this was a bit random lol, going a bit stir crazy with all the exams rn

YAY FOR NO MORE MACBETH, FUCK U MACBETH

also thinking about la lune discovering a cookbook that one of the primes brought with them and how she would be so excited to try something new each week but how it would make her so sad bc she would think of Gabriel every time 😭

ALSO I LOVE YOUR DOG

#sb answers

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dirtychocolatechai · 4 years ago

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So today I went to the discount fabric store in my area and bought a shit ton of fabric and it was so cheap that this will quickly become a problem I fear

Now im eating gingerbread cake and drink hot cider and thinking of what wip i feel like working on! Whatd you do today?

I can't go to the craft store because I want to buy all the fabric but I 1) have no use for it, and 2) can't sew beyond simple stitches lol. What kind of fabric did you get/any special plans for it??

And that sounds so good omg 😭😭😭 Ooooooo wip's you say???? You got this babes!!! Whatever you work on is gonna be absolute 🔥 I got a new cookbook today so I've been reading through that, and just finished making dinner not too long ago. Now I'm gonna relax, vibe to some music and hopefully get some writing done 🤞

#asks #loml 🔮

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pumakaji64 · 5 years ago

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fuck im gonna watch the film theory on Ratatouille even though it’ll make me mad

part 1.

preface: It’ll probably look like im taking this way more seriously then I actually am ( I mean I love the movie so on some level yes I am ) but I tend to come across way more aggressive then I mean too in my writing oops. Like I don’t mind people having different takes on a piece of media, you can respect and authors intent while still having your own thoughts about a work even if they don’t line up because sometimes what a creator tries to convey and what they really do aren’t exactly the same. But if you’re gonna have such a wild take you better be able to back it up with some real good evidence. Overall tho I’m mostly just doing this cuz im bored lol ( also I haven’t seen the movie in awhile so my memory is a little foggy )

So going in I already know what the argument is gonna be “ good guy bad, bad guy good” whatever, so I’m just gonna comment on the argument and presentation itself as I watch the video

Ah I see we’re going with the good ol’ “ not technically lying but intentionally omitting and/or wording things in a manner that benefits my argument “ technique, I’ve used that before.

Nitpick: As someone on twitter brought up: Protagonist doesn’t mean “good guy” it’s the leading character that the story if focused on, so even if Remy is a bad guy he’s still the protagonist.

I get it’s probably a joke but Remy’s whole deal isn’t that he wants to be famous. He just genuinely loves cooking but can’t do with without fear of being murdered since he’s y’know a rat.

He doesn’t willingly leave his colony, he’s separated from them after he blew their cover by getting caught while cooking and for prioritizing taking the cookbook over escaping.

I’ll just say it now since i’m sure it’ll be brought up later, yeah Remy is kind of selfish, and thats actually a good thing. Him being a flawed character makes him more interesting and this also swiftly sets up his character arc early into the film.

“ If this sounds like an inspirational story about overcoming obstacles and achieving your destiny... you missed the point.” bruh the arc words of the film are literally “Anyone can cook”, it’s about overcoming prejudice to achieve your dreams in spite of everyone telling you not to because of the identity you are born with ( this is not just seen with Remy but also Colette, a female chef )

“Narcissist” As I said before yes Remy is selfish and at times this makes him unlikable but he genuinely cares about his family but he struggles to connect with them since they can’t understand why he’s so passionate about cooking.

Calling it now, the crux of this argument is going to be the scene where Remy gets mad about Linguini taking all the credit for Remy’s work during an interview. Which yeah I’ll agree that Remy was being unrealistic but Linguini had been ignoring Remy’s advice and had grown a bit of an ego which of course eventually leading to Remy having a heated gamer moment and doing abusing Linguini’s trust which the story punishes him for. It’s not a simple right or wrong situation but more of a two wrongs don’t make a right type.

“Jerk of a creature” Newsflash! Not all protagonists are nice, even the ones that aren’t villain protagonists!

First point: Remy is a thief and a hypocrite. I’ll admit I was agreeing that Remy is a hypocrite until he gets to the point of Remy letting his family steal from the kitchen. 1.) This was when him and Linguini were starting to have a falling out, he was angry at him and starting letting that affect his judgement. Was this wrong of him? Yes and he regrets his actions. 2.) Remy cares for his family even if they don’t always get along and his anger at Linguini makes it easier for them to pressure him into letting them steal.

“Remy never learns his lesson” maybe not explicitly but he does face punishment throughout the story. Stealing the book and food from the old lady costs his family their home and gets him separated from them. Allowing his family to steal from the kitchen leads to Linguini calling off their partnership. I don’t remember him stealing again after that.

Also is he implying that Remy is bad for stealing the will that proves that Linguini is the rightful heir to the Gustaeu that Skinner was trying to hide so he could keep profiting off of a dead mans work?

Remy is aware that what he’s doing is wrong, we are shown this through the figment of Gustaeu which represents his conscience reprimanding it but Remy continues to justify himself until it’s too late. He is a flawed character.

“In a realistic context.” Good thing this is a Disney kids film

Fraud!? You’re gonna grill Remy for fraud when Skinner is the one intentionally keeping Linguini from learning about his birth right?!?!?

“Poor Linguini. The sap that Remy controls like a puppet.” here we go again with the manipulative wording hooray

I see where he’s going with this one and it’s really funny to me that’s interpreting Gustaeu’s “Anyone can cook” line the same way Ego does for most of the film. Ego takes the opposite stance MatPat does by mocking the line because to the critic not everyone has what it takes to be a great chef. It’s by the end of the film he changes his perspective on the line to the idea that a great cook can come from anywhere even in the most unexpected of forms like Remy.

Gotta love the clip he added of pre-character development Remy being a jerk to Linguini before to two even met. It really ads to the manipulative wording he uses to make Remy look underhanded and shifty.

Is he really gonna gloss over Remy attempting and failing to teach Linguini how to cook? Remy is a fucking rat who can’t talk directly to Linguini attempting so teaching him would be really damn hard. Not only that but they are on a time crunch and don’t have the time necessary to teach Linguini how to cook like Remy can.

Also whose to say that by watching what Remy is making him do Linguini hasn’t picked up any cooking techniques by the end of the film.

It’s not like Remy freaking forced Linguini into being his man-puppet. Remy is a small animal who can’t talk to people so honestly Linguini has most of the power in their dynamic. Linguini can call of their partnership anytime he wants and even does so after Remy is caught letting his family steal.

“And whats it for? Just so Remy can cook! Just for his own benefit!” BRUH, DID HE NOT SEE THE PART WHERE SKINNER THREATENS LINGUINI’S JOB IF HE CAN’T RECREATE THE SOUP!??!? (Also skinner only wants to keep Linguini around if he can make money off of him )

God damn he really is taking advantage over the fact that most of his viewers either have never seen the film or only watched it when they were young to straight up ignore elements of the fucking plot lmao

“Who hasn’t forced un-consenting adults to kiss “ I can’t believe MatPat is trying to #cancel Remy for being #problematic, #remyisoverparty. The stretch is real my dudes.

LMAO HE LITERALLY MAKES A CANCELLE ON TWITTER JOKE BRUH FUCK OFF

Jesus I feel most of what I have to say will just be me restating what I already said. Ugh lemme just summarize it: Remy is a flawed and selfish rat who often prioritizes following his dreams over his responsibilities putting not just himself but his family at risk. But guess what? He faces consequences for that! His actions get him separated from his family and lost in a giant city, the only reason he doesn’t die is because he got lucky and found Linguini ( also because it’s a film and it ending at the start would be lame )

Also so is he arguing that Remy should just accept his lot in life and give up on his dreams because he can’t change the fact that he’s a rat ( which MatPat often reminds us by calling him unhygienic a lot so far ) as if that’s not the crux of his character dilemma.

I agree it’s wrong of him to put his family at risk but that only applies to the opening of the movie. How is he the only one in the wrong later in the film when both him and Linguini acknowledge to risk of their teamwork?

Here we go with the disease thing again. This is anti-rodent propaganda and I will not stand for it! >:(

Also bruh it’s a fucking kids movie.

??? how the fuck would Remy be aware of rats carrying diseases??? does he work for the fucking CDC????????

“Remy is bad because he kidnaps the pest inspector” Because it would get the restraunt shut down if word got out about the rats!!! And the only reason there are so many rats in the kitchen during this part is because the staff except for Colette all walked out!!!!!!!!! Which, guess what MatPat, wouldn’t just fuck over Remy but Linguini too!

“Oh sure they wash themselves but only after they walked into the kitchen!!!!” and I thought I was bad with nitpicking!

No need to bring up that The Jungle is a fictional story, nope! I guess it’s only fitting to use a fictional book as evidence for an argument covering the logistics of a fictional movie!!!!!!

Remy didn’t fucking “quit” his “job” as a rat poison sniffer, he still does it but he also cooks in secret. When he’s caught he’s separated from his colony ( which MatPat still hasn’t brought up ) so of fucking course he can’t keep sniffing for a clan when he is literally not there!!!!

Also if he’s talking about later in the film when Remy refuses to rejoin the colony when he reunites with Emile then we get the moral dilemma of Remy rejoining his family while fucking over Linguini who can’t cook because Remy is a small rodent and can’t adequately teach him do to a language barrier.

lmao this dramatic emotional music he’s playing bruh

He really is taking the kiss thing that seriously

“I’m not saying Remy shouldn’t follow his dreams” Thats literally what you are saying

“Chef Skinner does nothing wrong” Okay you law-loving bootlicker lol

I’m not ready for the second half of this so im gonna take a break and make a part 2 later

#Ratatouille #long post #vent #GT critcal #g/a//me th//e/o//y

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cherryflavoredblood · 4 years ago

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Winter/Holiday Oc Headcanons!

Sorry sorrrrrry! I won’t forget next time to post shit lol. lets just get into this!

❄Yuu❄

-Only cares about the holidays for you. Literally will buy whatever you want or do whatever you want. Snow day? You got it! 1,000$ TV? Sure! He doesn’t care how he gets the things you want, it matters how happy you are.

-Again, doesn’t really care much about festivity, but he def likes the snow. Taking walks during the late nights while its snowing is his guilty pleasure. Plus, a good way to follow people around is through your aesthetic~!

-Speaking of following people. Yuuimori might be a people watcher, but at times like these he can’t do it often. Says all the joy makes individuals want to spend more time around family and friends, so he’ll get caught more easily, Still might take his time in a snowbank behind your house!

✝Olearius✝

-Sex. Your christmas gift, is sex. He knows when you’ve been naughty or nice. The naughty ones get.. eh, torture. Not the good kind of torture, unless your idea of a ‘white’ christmas is red.

-Will take you to church if you’re interested. It’s one of the most holiest months of all, so he’ll share the joy of his religion with you! And if that’s not your cup of tea, he’ll take part in your holiday celebrations instead!

-Buys sex toys for you. like, a whole store full of them. This man is rich, so expect the highest quality vibrator ever. He even wraps every single one of them, and puts them under 4 or more trees. He goes all out on the tree decorating just for sex toys...

🎄Shirca🎄

-Great cook for the holidays! Knows all the good recipes for comfort. The prep for everything takes days though, finding the right people to eat isn’t that easy, but it’s worth it!

-Starts decorating everything in november, early november. Has to make sure everything is perfect for her friends, even if she doesn’t partake in the celebrations that much.

-Mistletoe? Yes please. Shirca needs to kiss a girl to complete everything. Put up multiple mistletoe for her, everywhere, she’s desperate for a good smooch. And maybe you can watch a shitty movie afterwards? She’s free on thursday, yes she is.

❄Vanny❄

-”Fucking please, this is a holiday made up to sell more shitty items” Vanny is not very fond of this time of year. They prefer to be left alone at all times.

-However, they will watch one particular movie with you over and over again. That said movie being ‘The year without a Santa Claus’. They got some sort of unsatisfied sexual tension with snow miser.

-Might even bake a little with Mateo, but they’re really in it for the food.

⛄ Mateo⛄

-”HOLY FUCKIN SHIT WOULD YOU STOP PLAYING THAT SHITTY SONG??” Blasts the fuck out of ‘All I want for Christmas is You’ all day and all night.

-Bakes and bakes and bakes. Tries every recipe in old cookbooks, looks up baking videos on youtube, he just doesn’t stop baking. It’s like crack, he can’t get enough of it. You’ll have so many cookies and cakes it’ll last until next december! Please bake with him!

-While not baking, he’ll spend all his time with you instead of on that game of his. You can even wear all his ugly sweaters! Wants to cuddle up by the fire with you and listen to... all I want for christmas is you. again. Please, stop this man.

💚Yoo-Ri💝

-Dresses up in matching sweaters with her sister and you! It’s her favorite time to go shopping for more cute clothes! You’ll never run out of fuzzy sweaters and leggings!

-If you want, she’ll make drinks for you and her. Knows a lot of christmas drink recipes that go well with dinner, and even Mateo’s baking. Warm rum with brownies? Her go to.

-Won’t admit it but, she loves watching you open the gifts she buys you. The look on your face when you get just what you asked for warms her sadistic heart.

💝Seo-Hyeon💚

-BEST gift giver and wrapper! Puts all her love and work into making and buying stuff for you. Seo seems to put too much effort into wrapping, only using the best ribbons and bows for her Bubby.

-Loves watching movies with you, even if they’re all the same. The festivity is still there. “So what if all these are stupid, I still like watchin’ them with ya! It’s the thought that counts you know!”

-Creams at the thought of you tied with the ribbon from your presents 😳

⚔Deginoce⚔

-What the fuck do you expect from this dope? A kiss by the mistletoe? Nope, he literally will strangle you with festive lights.

-Likes watching you scratch at yourself when he wraps those lights around your neck. Gets him off. Do it more. Be a good decoration for ‘im will ya?

⛄Verruckt⛄

-Does whatever you want! Just wants to see you happy, especially if you have hard times with the holidays!

-Will cuddle under a nice fuzzy blanket, drink hot cocoa with you while you both chat about the best christmas movies you’ve seen.

-Pays attention to the things you want throughout the year. And anything you want, you’ll get on christmas! Which might even be alot, but as long as it makes you happy, she’s happy!

#// christmas #REDRUM:LTD

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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Give you what you craving (branjie) - writworm42

A/N: Title from Big Ole Freak by Megan Thee Stallion. For a friend of mine who I’m wishing the absolute best <3

Thank u thank u thank u Holtz for beta-ing <3 <3 <3 <3

DISCLAIMER: In this fic, Brooke calls Vanessa mommy in bed without any prior conversation. Don’t do that!!! Just because I let it slip here for the sake of the story doesn’t mean it’s okay in real life. FIC IS NOT A MODEL FOR REAL LIFE! In reality, before you call your partner by titles during sex, check with them to make sure it’s okay. Always make sure to check in with your partner consistently and frequently during sex!!!

“Vanjie? Vanj? Earth to Vanessa!”

Vanessa blinks, coming back to her surroundings just in time to see Asia waving her hand in front of her face, looking bemused.

“Is it just as good as last time she walked by?” Asia jokes, and Vanessa feels herself flush scarlet, her cheeks burning as she tries to think of a comeback.

She doesn’t have time to say anything to defend herself though, because their third cubicle-mate, Kameron, looks up from her computer screen, removing her earphones to grin over at her two friends.

“Was she checking out Brooke’s ass again?” Kam’s eyes are lit up with scandal and excitement, and Asia nods enthusiastically.

“Her tits, too, don’t think I didn’t see you craning to get an eyeful when you first heard her heels, Vanj.” Asia notes, and Kameron lets out a big whoop, one which Vanessa almost hits her for.

“Shut up!” Vanessa hisses. “Are you tryin’ to get us in trouble? We supposed to be working on processing those orders for that new cake-baking cookbook, not gossiping about something I most definitely absolutely was not doing. ”

“Sure, baby.” Kameron snorts, but nonetheless, she and Asia settle, turning back to their own desks to attend to their work. Or at least, Kameron and Asia do - Vanessa herself is, for whatever reasons, struggling to focus.

Reasons that have nothing at all to do with how Brooke walks by again a moment later, and how for a moment, Vanessa swears that she sees Brooke glance at her and smile.

“You could just talk to her, you know.” Kameron offers kindly, but Vanessa only grunts in response.

Vanessa’s a junior sales rep for the entire cookbook company, while Brooke is a copy editor for the baking section. They may not work together directly, but they’re still part of two different worlds–one world that’s just a hair away from being an intern, days spent in a flurry of spreadsheets and scutwork, versus another world that comes with a postgraduate degree and a great deal of respect. Brooke couldn’t possibly want anything to do with Vanessa, and pretending otherwise…

Well, Vanessa would be setting herself up for heartbreak, to say the least. She’s sure it would. So it’s better not to get her hopes up; better to just keep things neat and tidy, limit her fantasies to watching Brooke’s ass whenever she walks by and hoping that when she walks back, she might catch another glimpse at that shy, beautiful smile.

“Oh, come on, now, don’t be like that.” Asia scolds, turning back around. “Kam is right, you know. We have that employee mixer coming up, and God knows the woman finds every excuse she can to walk past us all hours of the goddamn day. Just talk to her, Vanj.”

Vanessa snorts, not bothering to look up from her computer. “What would I even say, bitch? ‘Hey, mama, you got a fine ass, lemme eat it?’”

But there’s no laughter that follows the joke, nor any advice to soothe over the genuine question behind it. Instead, there’s an uneasy beat of silence, during which Vanessa looks up and realizes–

Oh no.

Oh God.

Brooke’s standing at the entrance of Vanessa’s cubicle, clutching a manuscript and looking absolutely mortified.

“I’m–Oh, God, Brooke, I’m so sorry–” Vanessa starts, but it only seems to make things worse; Brooke flushes red, mumbles something about sending in some pages as a preview for a prospective client, and then rushes off, leaving stunned silence in her wake.

“Okay, so when I said talk to her, I didn’t mean like that–”

“Shut up, Asia.” Vanessa puts her head in her hands, hoping in vain that the floor will swallow her up and never spit her back out.

The rest of the afternoon goes by slowly, shakily–Vanessa can hardly focus, the moment of her embarrassment replaying over and over in her head without reprieve, interrupting any task she tries to take on. Every time she tries to open a new document, her eyes fall down to her desk and onto the manuscript Brooke left her. And every time she tries to open an email, Brooke’s name appears at the top of her alphabetically-organized contact list.

It’s only when Vanessa finally gets ready to leave for the evening that Brooke fades from her mind, the space that the blonde occupied instead taken over by a list of all the snacks she’s going to eat and the reality TV shows she’ll binge when she gets home. She waves good-bye to Asia and Kameron, about to shut off her computer and get going, when suddenly–

EMAIL FROM: Brooke Lynn Hytes

RE: convo from today

Hi Vanessa,

Meet me in my office in half an hour… I want to talk to you about what you said today.

Vanessa’s head spins, her heart stopping dead in her chest and body going cold.

Oh God. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. She’s going to be fired, she knows it–she’ll walk into Brooke’s office, HR will be sitting there to mediate, and she’ll be sent packing before she has a chance to contest the disciplinary action.

Vanessa’s about to write back, beg for forgiveness, or at least some other kind of recourse, when a second email comes through.

EMAIL FROM: Brooke Lynn Hytes

RE: Convo from today - oops

Hi Vanessa,

Just realized that makes it sound like im gonna fire you or something. Lol. Sorry about that. Can you just come by now? Easier to talk in person.

Sorry again.

XOXO,

Brooke Lynn Hytes

Vanessa can’t help but laugh a little to herself when she reads the text, her heart starting back up again and nerves dissipating a little. God, the fucking dork–maybe things will work out after all.

Maybe.

Probably not the way that Vanessa’s hoping for, though.

She scurries across the floor towards Brooke’s office, not bothering to return the waves and cheerful good nights! from coworkers as she passes. There’s only one thing on her mind at the moment–Brooke Lynn Hytes and her ass, and whatever she’s going to say to her.

Okay, three things, but it doesn’t matter. Because she’s outside Brooke’s office, and the door is open for her to walk through, and–

And Brooke is sitting at her desk, blushing and shifting nervously in her chair, gesturing for Vanessa to close the door.

“Brooke, I wanna say again, I’m—“

But Brooke cuts Vanessa off with a shake of her head and a kind smile.

“Did you—did you mean what you said?” Brooke stands up and walks towards Vanessa cautiously, slowly, her smile still gentle and gaze unwavering. “About wanting to rim me?”

Vanessa swallows hard, her heart pounding and mind racing. Brooke is close now, so close that if she reaches out, she could touch Vanessa, box her in against the door, do whatever she pleases with her—

“Yeah.” Vanessa admits breathlessly. Yeah I did.”

“Oh, thank God.” Brooke sighs, her shoulders relaxing and face smoothing out in relief. “I was afraid you were joking, and—“

But Brooke never gets a chance to finish that sentence, because before Vanessa can think about it, before she has a chance to stop herself, she’s leaning up and cupping Brooke’s face and pressing her lips to hers.

The kiss is electric, breathless and passionate enough to make Vanessa feel as if she’s floating, swept off her feet by Brooke’s lips, her sighs of pleasure when Vanessa tugs lightly on her bottom lip with her teeth. Brooke is gripping her tightly by the waist, pulling her flush against her body, and Vanessa is dizzy, held up only by the will to keep contact with the woman in front of her, entwined with her. She feels along Brooke’s back, down each curve and over every muscle, until finally, her hands sweep over the one thing she’s been drooling over for what seems like far too long.

Brooke moans, like really moans, when Vanessa’s hands reach her ass, and God, Vanessa would do anything to hear that sound again. She feels along the curve of Brooke’s ass, squeezing and kneading and listening for every little reaction, every repeated moan and little gasp.

“Keep–Oh, fuck, Vanessa, keep doing that.” Brooke separates from Vanessa, her eyes hooded and cheeks flushed, voice breathy with effort.

“Ain’t gotta tell me twice.” Vanessa giggles, and Brooke does too, pulling Vanessa even closer, and sticking her ass out a little and before grinding back into Vanessa’s hand to meet her movements.

“This might sound weird,” Vanessa starts to propose, before she can second-guess it, “But can I…” she trails off, her hands suddenly freezing.

How in the hell is Vanessa supposed to ask a woman she’s barely worked with, who she barely even knows , realistically, to let her spank her?

“Can you what?” Brooke repeats, and Vanessa realizes with a sudden rush of embarrassment and doubt that she’s already gone too far to turn back.

“Can I spank you?”

Vanessa pulls away, expecting Brooke to look at her strangely, to balk at the suggestion. Ask her what’s wrong with her, or why she’d want that.

Instead, she giggles.

“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed, you know that?” Brooke teases, and Vanessa blushes.

“I had to ask!” Vanessa gives Brooke a playful tap on her ass, rolling her eyes. “You telling me you’d rather I just popped your ass right then and there without no warning?”

Only, the way Brooke looks back at Vanessa in that second tells her pretty much exactly what she needs to know to answer that question.

“I think we oughta pick this up later.” Vanessa’s voice drops to almost a whisper, her hands clutching tighter at Brooke’s ass and stomach practically flip-flopping with glee and arousal when Brooke goes rigid, leans into Vanessa’s touch again. “Somewhere we can be private, so I can make that cute little ass nice and red.”

“I like the sound of that.” Brooke nods, and Vanessa answers by spanking her lightly again, grinning when Brooke lets out a soft, surprised oh!

“I gotta go home and feed my dog, but how ‘bout I’m over at eight?” Vanessa proposes.

“Sounds good.” Brooke smiles. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

Vanessa leans up and gives Brooke another quick kiss before turning on her heels, sauntering towards the door with a little extra swing in her step just to tempt the woman watching her walk away.

“Oh, and Brooke?” Vanessa turns around at the last second, only to see Brooke snap to attentively.

“Yeah?”

“Make sure you nice and prepped for me when I come. And whatever you do, don’t touch yourself before.”

Vanessa doesn’t wait for Brooke’s answer; she doesn’t need to.

She already knows that Brooke’s in the palm of her hand, and now she’s got to get home and get in the shower.

–

Vanessa knocks on Brooke’s door at 7:59 PM. Almost instantly, the door swings open and Vanessa feels her breath get knocked out of her body.

Brooke is a vision in satin and lace, dressed in a plain top with lace trim and a shiny, thin skirt that barely covers her ass, if it wasn’t for the identical lace trim that brings Vanessa’s eyes trailing downward to Brooke’s thighs, pale and toned and begging for Vanessa to grab them.

“You look beautiful.” It’s all Vanessa can think to say, but if the way Brooke’s eyes sparkle and her cheeks flush is any indication, it’s the right thing.

“I, um—Thanks.” Brooke brushes a piece of hair behind her ear, blushing deeper when Vanessa laughs fondly at the gesture. “Um, d’you wanna come in?”

“Absolutely.” Vanessa is already walking past Brooke when she stops to reach up and give the blonde a peck on her cheek.

“By the way,” Vanessa whispers, grasping at Brooke’s shirt with firm, eager fingers, “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

The gasp that Brooke lets out as she shivers at the words is in itself enough to switch any thinking part of Vanessa’s brain off, her body moving on adrenaline and instinct as she practically drags Brooke towards the bedroom.

This time when they kiss, it’s slow, less frantic, less desperate. They take their time, exploring each other as they embrace, Brooke’s hands tracing Vanessa’s body slowly and carefully in a way that leaves goosebumps in their wake.

It’s only when Brooke lays her hands on Vanessa’s ass that a sharp arousal shoots between Vanessa’s legs, and enough is enough.

“Get on the bed.” Vanessa grabs Brooke’s arms and pushes them off of her body, holding firm despite how Brooke tries to bring her hands back onto Vanessa, tries again to grab and feel her. Seeing how her efforts are futile, Brooke whines, tries to lean down to distract Vanessa with another kiss, but Vanessa won’t have it; not now, when her heart is in her throat and she can feel herself getting wetter by the second.

“No, baby.” Vanessa grabs Brooke’s ass and squeezes hard, using the single moment when Brooke is caught off-guard to walk them backwards until Brooke’s knees are hitting against the edge of her bed. “I said get on the bed, now .”

Brooke whines stubbornly but obeys, grabbing onto Vanessa’s shirt and pulling her down on top of her as she goes.

“Eager beaver.” Vanessa rolls her eyes as she picks herself up, kneeling over Brooke to box her in with a knee on either side of her hips, a hand on either side of her head.

Brooke only sticks out her tongue, and Vanessa can’t resist leaning down to kiss her again, nipping at her bottom lip and smirking at the soft, surprised squeak that she lets out in response. Vanessa keeps going, kissing along Brooke’s jaw, down her neck, nibbling and licking and sucking experimentally as she pays attention to what makes Brooke tick.

It’s adorable how responsive Brooke is, how quickly her bratty demeanor fades when Vanessa pins once-again wandering hands down onto the mattress and sucks hard at her collarbone. How she moans and gasps and squirms like she’s being touched for the first time in years, an appetite whet after laying dormant for just a little too long.

“Lift up for me.” Vanessa prompts, tapping Brooke on the side, and Brooke sits up long enough for Vanessa to pull her shirt over her head, revealing the smooth, soft skin underneath.

“Really?” Vanessa smirks, tracing her hand over Brooke’s bare breasts, her nipples already hardened against the room’s cold air.

“Why wait?” Brooke shrugs, “We would’ve taken it off anyway.”

“So does that mean you’re not wearing panties, either?” Vanessa lazily traces over Brooke’s tits, circling and flicking her nipples as she lets her eyes trail down to the waistband of her skirt and the promise that it holds underneath it.

“Why don’t you check?” Brooke’s voice is laced with challenge, her face almost smug as she stares up at Vanessa, waiting for her to make good on the offer.

And so Vanessa does, and doesn’t regret it.

Brooke’s wearing panties, alright—ones that are white, made of thin fabric that Vanessa can practically see through and trimmed with lace on the waistband and leg holes. It’s tantalizing, how pure they look, how they contrast with Brooke’s mussed hair and hickey-bruised skin, and Vanessa almost wishes Brooke could keep them on.

“Like what you see?” Brooke grins, and Vanessa has to hand it to her—the bitch knows what she’s doing, she really does.

Fortunately, so does Vanessa, and so she knows exactly how to handle the situation.

“Fuck yeah, I do.” Vanessa breathes, kissing the nape of Brooke’s neck again, barely-there pecks that make Brooke squirm underneath her.

Excellent.

“Now how about you show me the view from the back, baby girl?�� She lifts off of Brooke just long enough to trace a finger along the waistband of Brooke’s panties, watching with satisfaction as Brooke shivers at her touch.

“Yes, mommy.” Brooke gasps as Vanessa moves to cup her through her panties, pressing down just a little so she can feel Brooke’s slick soaking through them.

“Mommy kink too?” Vanessa can’t resist teasing a little as she finally brings her hand away, shuffling back to give Brooke room to reposition herself. “Damn, Miss Hytes, you a freak.”

Brooke blushes deeply. “I—I’m sorry, it just kind of slipped out, usually I talk to people before I do that—“

Vanessa swallows the rest of Brooke’s ramblings into a deep, affectionate kiss, one that makes Brooke soften enough that Vanessa can ease her back onto the bed again.

“Don’t worry about it, kitten.” Vanessa winks, her heart warming when Brooke beams. “Now, turn over for mommy, I wanna play with that pretty little ass already.”

Brooke flips over happy, eagerly lifting her ass off the mattress just a little and wiggling it in excitement.

It’s too hard to resist; Vanessa brings a hand down over one of Brooke’s cheeks, just hard enough to elicit a small squeak from the woman in front of her.

“What?” Vanessa cocks a brow when Brooke looks back and pouts at her. “You tellin’ me you really ain’t expect that, tryna tempt me like that?” As if to make her point, she lands another smack on Brooke’s opposite cheek, and Brooke melts, letting out a sharp exhale and wiggling a little again when Vanessa pulls back, almost as if she’s trying to ask for more.

“Uh-uhn, baby.” Vanessa shakes her head, crossing her arms in front of her. “You gotta use your words this time, or mommy’s not gonna do nothing to you.”

“Please, mommy.” Brooke whimpers in response, eyes wide and pleading. “Spank me more, please?”

“Of course, angel.” Vanessa coos, a calm sweetness before the storm she knows she’s about to unleash.

The next time Brooke squirms, Vanessa lets her spankings rain down, a flurry of impacts that make Brooke’s ass glow with a mesmerizing shade of red. Brooke, for her part, seemed to only take every slap in stride, moaning sinfully and begging for more, more, more.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough.” Vanessa chuckles when she feels the sting of her hits even on her own palm, instead beginning rub soft, soothing circles along the now-heated skin of Brooke’s ass. “Now what do you say?”

“Thank you, mommy.” Brooke sighs contentedly, melting into Vanessa’s gentle touch.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

They stay like that for a few moments more, quietly enjoying each other, but then Vanessa’s own needs become too much to ignore–arousal is curling in her stomach, snaking between her legs, building up again until she feels like she might explode. She’s about to ask if Brooke is okay, suggest moving things along again, when Brooke speaks up suddenly, beating her to it.

“So… You gonna take my panties off now?” Brooke grins slyly, and Vanessa can’t help but laugh.

“So impatient.” Vanessa teases, but nonetheless moves back near Brooke, tapping her hip to signal her to lift up so that she can ease down her panties, noting with satisfaction the slick, soaked spot that sticks just a moment longer to Brooke than the rest of the fabric, just a little slow in being peeled away.

“Beautiful.” Vanessa breathes it out without thinking, the word rolling off her tongue because it can’t stay in, not with Brooke looking like that, laying bare for her like that. Vulnerable and delicate, all hers to enjoy, if only for the night (but God, what a night). At that moment, nothing else is in Vanessa’s mind except the curve of Brooke’s back and the way her hair splays across it, the flush of her cheeks and how they match the shade of her ass. Her smile, eager and warm and already a little blissed, like she knows she’s safe when she’s with Vanessa.

“You want my mouth or my fingers, or you got a strap?” Vanessa whispers, and God, Brooke’s eyes have never looked as beautiful as they have in that moment, when they look up at Vanessa and sparkle, her pupils wide and lids hooded.

“Mouth please, mommy.”

Brooke doesn’t need to ask twice. Vanessa kisses her way down Brooke’s body again, this time slowly, not teasingly but instead with devotion, her lips carrying admiration for every inch of skin they land on. Apparently, the message gets across, because Brooke seems to relax more with every kiss, her body melting into the mattress, sighing softly every time Vanessa’s mouth touches her skin.

“You ready, angel?” Vanessa pushes Brooke’s cheeks together, kneading them gently while she checks in, and Brooke nods.

“Please, mommy.” Brooke begs quietly, and Vanessa smiles, leaving one last kiss on the peak of Brooke’s tailbone before finally spreading her cheeks apart. She takes her time, licking around Brooke’s hole with short strokes, just the tip of her tongue, to find out what makes Brooke tick. She finds quickly that Brooke likes when Vanessa licks closer to Brooke’s entrance, honing in on one spot temporarily just to put her on edge. She shifts her position, brushes against Brooke’s perineum with the tips of her fingers, and Brooke goes rigid, lets out a sinful moan.

“Please, oh fuck, please, Ness, keep doing that.” Brooke trembles as Vanessa repeats the motion, timing it with a broad stroke of her tongue up Brooke’s crack. So she does, over and over, alternating with swirls around Brooke’s holes and little short darts into it, until Brooke is babbling and whimpering, a moaning mess underneath her that just can’t stay still.

“Come on, baby girl, come for me, I know you can do it.” Vanessa growls, continuing her ministrations. “Let me see you come for mommy, wanna see you lookin’ so pretty and fucked out for me…”

It’s as if the words are exactly what Brooke needed to tip her over the edge; without so much as a moment passing after the words leave Vanessa’s lips, Brooke goes rigid again, her cries cut off into a silent scream that ends with a final fuck before she relaxes again, panting and spent.

“Shit.” Brooke laughs breathlessly as Vanessa comes up from her place at the foot of the bed to snuggle at Brooke’s side, nestling into her arms. “That was amazing , Ness. Thank you.”

“No problem, baby.” Vanessa feels pride balloon in her chest at the words, but even that is secondary to the feeling of seeing Brooke’s smile, the renewed energy in her eyes even as she lays limp and sated, holding onto Vanessa like some sort of teddy bear.

It’s all she’s wanted, really–all she’s been after. Not just Brooke’s ass, or her body, or the way she walks and steals looks at Vanessa at the office.

Just for Brooke to look at her, really look at her. Smile at her. Thank her for something that isn’t work-related. See her not as Vanessa Mateo from distribution, but as Vanessa herself, as Vanessa wants her to see her.

“Vanessa?” Brooke pipes up again, snapping Vanessa out of her contented daze.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you wanted me to return the favour.” Brooke doesn’t seem to mind Vanessa’s temporary absence; if anything, she seems entertained by it, the shadow of a smile on her face.

But as kind as the offer is, Vanessa just shakes her head. “Nah, baby, I’m good for now. Unless…” she stops, biting her lip as her heart kicks up a bit, squeezing its way into her throat as she contemplates her next move.

It’s a risk–Brooke might very well say no, might very well want to keep their relationship to what it currently is.

But if how they’ve wound up here together is any indication, then it’s worth a shot.

“Unless?” Brooke prompts, and Vanessa takes a deep breath, shoving any doubt out of her mind.

“Maybe you could take me out for a date, and we could see what happens?”

Much to Vanessa’s relief, Brooke doesn’t even skip a beat when she answers, a wide grin spreading across her face.

“I would love nothing more.”

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #lesbian au #smut #writworm42 #tw mommy kink

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91daze · 5 years ago

Note

May I ask for some cute fluffy headcanons and relationship ones for Vanno? I really loved your Frate ones. I love him and Vanno so much QwQ/. I also wish you good luck on your blog and to keep up the good work. :>

tysm for ur kind words‼︎（╹◡╹）♡ and im glad u enjoyed my frate headcanon soup lol (the frate bias really jumped out with it)

and fUCK YEAH i love me some vanno too, so without further ado, vanno headcanons babey!!!!

( vanno clemente - fluff headcanons. )

( individual )

vanno was pretty good with children; he loved children and children loved him back! i mean, he knew how to cook, he knew how to juggle, and he was big and strong and (most likely) very comfortable to hug. in fact, he actually did want a child of his own someday, but he didn’t like talking about this certain dream; after all, being a high-ranking subordinate in the vanetti family meant he had to keep up that intimidating image he had.

surprisingly, he knew how to weave flower crowns and arrange bouquets. this was because when he was younger, he would make flower crowns and/or bouquets for fio as little gifts. he started out rather clumsily and his flower crowns came out lopsided and uneven, but he eventually got the hang of it. he made a lot of flower crowns for fio. she still kept some of them, even when the flowers were already wilting.

he, too, wrote love letters to fio, but unlike the flower crowns and bouquets, he never gave them to her and instead kept them away in a box for safekeeping. they spanned from childhood to adulthood, resulting in a lot of letters. only nero knew about this.

he used to be close to frate. when they were children, frate thought of him as another big brother of his and would tag along with him and nero; when frate was getting bullied by neighborhood boys, vanno and nero were always there to rough them up; whenever frate cried, vanno would juggle just to make him laugh again. when they grew older, they all naturally drifted apart (except for vanno and nero) but vanno never understood why.

he had been appointed as the family’s “taste-tester” at a young age, and he actually ended up developing a critic’s tongue. as a result, he was harshly criticizing when it came to other people’s dishes and was fussy over following his family’s recipes to a t; nero just gave up and ended up designating him as their unofficial “cook”.

where the other men turned to smoking or drinking to de-stress, vanno turned to cooking; when he abstained from drinking, he decided that cooking was a safer way to relieve stress. the scent of the herbs and spices would calm him down and bring back memories of him as a young boy, waiting to sample his nonna’s next dish.

one of his most prized possessions was his nonna’s old and battered cookbook, and he proudly displayed it on a high place where everyone saw it, alongside a framed picture of his nonna.

( relationship )

tbh, it’d take some time for vanno to process his feelings. like most of his life, his first love has been fio, and he’d only been truly in love with her so far; so when he catches actual feelings (that aren’t fleeting attractions) for someone else, he’d be thrown in for a loop.

once he does process it though, you can bet that he’ll do an old-fashioned way of courting you. think flowers, compliments, a few suave words here or there. nero and his friends would most likely act as his wingman at some point. once you’re dating, he’ll still carry on with that good ol’ traditional romance.

expect some surprises; it’s been said that vanno enjoys watching other people’s reactions, so he would most likely try to surprise you here or there just to see your reaction to it. usually through unexpected gifts or gestures. sometimes pranks.

speaking of gestures, he loves affection, especially hugs! he just enjoys how his arms can just envelop you. if you’re shorter, he’d most likely place his chin on your head; if you’re taller, he’d rest it on your shoulder. either way, hugging you is pretty much his other favorite way to relieve stress now.

vanno would spoil you so much; not in a way where he’d buy you anything you want (i mean, maybe he would, if persuaded enough), but more in a way where he’d take good care of you—if you haven’t eaten, he’d cook for you and make sure you eat more. if you’re tired, he’d carry you.

he’s a pretty affectionate person, but he’s lowkey embarrassed by pda; of course he doesn’t mind holding hands, or sharing a few kisses in public—in fact, those serve to show that you’re, yes, his (s/o) and that whoever has the idea to lay on the moves on you should back off, but if you sat on his lap or kissed him longer than a few seconds where everyone can see, he would blush and implore you to save it for later in private. especially since his friends would tease him for it.

he’s pretty protective. his job and his ties has earned him quite a few enemies so he’d want to be around you most of the time, or at least have someone to keep an eye on you whenever he’s not around. he secretly worries that someone with a vendetta would use you as a tool against him, or worse, hurt you.

he gets jealous easily. his jealousy is akin to that of a child’s—he gets huffy, sometimes pouty. a telltale sign of his jealousy is him eating a lot (think the wedding episode, where he was just plain out shoving cake slices in his mouth). give him a few kisses and affection and he’ll ease up a step, though he’ll still be lowkey annoyed at the person he’s jealous of.

the type to buy you a promise ring. someday, he’d like to get married, but wouldn’t force you into the idea of course. so instead, he’ll get you a promise ring. whether you two get married or not, the ring serves as a promise to stay together for many, many years.

sorry for the delay, thank you for requesting!

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proctorgoldberg4-blog · 6 years ago

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6 Tips On Making Training A Practice.

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