#and sorta talk to him in the classes we do share (we only talk about class and related things bc its a film class)

[saltcxrcle]

here to complain about this group project im doing and ohhh myyy goddd why can no one communicate T-T

[matt-murdockk]

I can fix him (no really I can)

They shake their heads saying, "God help her" When I tell them he's my man But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger I can fix him, no, really I can And only I can

college!matt murdock x fem!reader | fluff— a whole lotta fluff | sorta friends to lovers? | fic from reader's pov, then a pov switch to third person

Matt Murdock famously doesn't stick around for longer than a month, tops. You were determined to change that.

Pre-law golden boy with an aura that exudes confidence, Matt was the person everyone either wanted to be, or wanted to be with. He knew that, and his faux modesty only made it worse for the masses desperate to get a piece of him. Am I one of—? Please, I'd fuck a tree before I fuck Matt Murdock. Not that I hate him or anything. I'm just not on the bed anyone with abs and a personality bandwagon. Good for him for all that attention he's getting, but my ties with him start and end in class. He's just a classmate.

Okay, maybe not just a classmate.

We share notes. Sometimes. Only when he forgets his, which is rare, because apparently being hot and capable is a combo this man insists on wielding like a goddamn weapon. Once, he offered to buy me coffee as a thank you and I made the mistake of saying yes. We ended up talking for an hour. One hour. And somehow I left that conversation knowing his middle name, his favourite diner his dad used to take him to, and exactly what kind of espresso he drinks before a big exam.

It was fine. It’s fine. People have conversations all the time. I’m not spiraling.

We became friends. Real ones. That was the problem.

Because here’s the thing: Matt Murdock is a disaster.

Not on paper. No— on paper, he’s perfect. He’s top of the class, charming when he wants to be, a little cocky, but in a way that makes you laugh instead of wanting to push him down the stairs.

But spend enough time around him and you start to notice things.

Like how he never lets anyone get close. Like how he flirts with half the campus but every single one of his flings ends in vague silence and awkward glances the next day. Like how he knows exactly how to listen to someone but refuses to let anyone hear him.

It’s not a red flag. It’s a goddamn red parade.

So of course I did what any completely normal person with an ounce of self-preservation would do.

I caught feelings for that bastard.

Of course, it's the emotionally unavailable mess with enough red flags to decorate a fucking carnival that catches my attention. Just my goddamn luck.

And, in a moment of sheer lunacy, decided I could fix him.

No really, I could. Just needed time. And patience. And maybe a crowbar for emotional extraction. Whatever. I’ve done harder things. If I can survive Mr Vasquez's class, I can survive whatever this is.

I just have to make sure he never finds out I like him. And also make him like me back. And maybe heal years of trust issues in the process.

Easy, right?

Well, it wasn’t.

Because what started as some deranged attempt to break into the fortress that is Matt Murdock turned into something else entirely. We became friends. Real friends. Somewhere along the way, it stopped being about fixing him and started being about just… being there.

And God help me, I think he needed that more than anything.

It wasn’t just me and Matt anymore, either. Foggy came into the picture fast— bright-eyed, effortlessly funny, with an incredible ability to sniff out bullshit in under five seconds. The three of us? Unstoppable. Study sessions, lunch breaks, late-night coffee runs before an exam. They were my people.

So yeah. The plan backfired. Spectacularly. But I had friends for life now, so I couldn’t exactly call it a failure.

It didn’t mean it stopped hurting, though.

Matt’s life… it wasn’t easy. I could see it in the way he shut down when he was overwhelmed, how he buried himself in work instead of letting anyone in. Some nights he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, but he’d still crack a joke just to make Foggy laugh.

And when he was with other women— when he flirted like it was a language only he spoke— it hurt. Even when I told myself I didn’t have a right to feel that way. He wasn’t mine. I made sure of that.

I’d smile through it. Tease him, even. Make some stupid quip about his tragic taste in women and let the ache settle where no one could see it.

Except Foggy noticed.

He always does.

One afternoon— study session turned snack break in our usual booth— Foggy caught me staring too long. Matt was across the room talking to a girl from one of our electives, charming smile and all.

“You okay?” he asked, nudging me with his elbow.

I blinked. “Yeah. Fine.”

“You sure? Because that definitely wasn’t your ‘fine’ face. That was your ‘I’m swallowing feelings and pretending to be emotionally stable’ face.”

I sighed, resting my chin on my palm. “He’s not doing anything wrong.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

I turned to him. “Foggy, I’m not gonna pull a dramatic ‘what are we’ in the middle of a group project. Matt may be a lot of things, but you really cannot force him to be something he doesn’t want to be.”

Foggy frowned. “But do you think he doesn’t want—?”

“Matt would probably suck at relationships,” I said, more tired than bitter. “Like, actual long-term ones. He likes the chase, he likes the moment. And that’s fine. He’s allowed to live how he wants. I just… I’m happy being his friend. Genuinely. Give it time. I’ll get over it.”

Foggy was quiet for a second. “That was… wildly mature.”

“Yeah well, personal growth is a bitch.”

He grinned. “Still. If it helps, he’s not as smooth as he thinks.”

I snorted. “No, but he is absurdly pretty. That makes up for a lot.”

We let the topic die after that. I figured that was the end of it.

I didn’t know Matt had heard.

—————————————————————————————————

Third Person POV

Matt had only come back for his notebook.

He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. He hadn’t meant to hear that.

But he had.

He stopped just shy of the hallway corner, heart thudding loud in his chest. The way her voice dropped when she said “I’ll get over it.”

The words hit harder than he expected.

She thought he’d be a bad boyfriend.

Worse— she didn’t even think he was worth trying.

And Matt knew— he knew— he hadn’t been great. He had a lot on his plate, a whole goddamn feast of mess, but he never once thought she saw him like that. Not undeserving.

She didn’t know he stayed up wondering what it’d feel like to kiss her. For real. Without laughing it off or playing it cool. She didn’t know how often his fingers hovered near hers and didn’t reach. How badly he wanted to.

But if she thought he wasn’t capable of it? Of loving her the way she deserved?

He had to change that.

Not just for her. For him. For the version of himself he wanted to be—the kind that could love someone, openly and fully, without messing it up.

“Jesus,” Foggy muttered when he saw Matt later that night. “You look like you saw a ghost. Or rather... felt a ghost? I don't know, man.”

“I heard something,” Matt said, collapsing onto his bed, voice low.

“Define ‘something.’”

“(Y/N) said I’d be a bad boyfriend.”

Foggy blinked. “Okay. Context?”

Matt dragged a hand over his face. “She was talking to you. In the booth. Earlier.”

Foggy raised his brows. “You, uh, you were there?”

“I forgot my notebook.”

Foggy held up his hands. “Alright, okay. First off— she didn’t say you’d be a bad boyfriend. She said you’d probably suck at steady relationships. Big difference.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, because you’ve never tried a steady relationship. Which is kind of the point.”

Matt groaned. “I need to fix this.”

Foggy stared. “Okay, I’m gonna need you to walk me through your version of fixing this.”

Matt sat up. “I’m gonna prove her wrong.”

Foggy blinked. “You’re gonna… ask her out?”

“No,” Matt said quickly. “I mean— yes. Eventually. But first I need to become the kind of guy she thinks could be a good boyfriend. You know. Change her mind.”

Foggy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jesus Christ. Just fuck already.”

Matt frowned. “What?”

Foggy threw his hands in the air. “You like her. She likes you. I have seen you two. Why do you think you want her to stay longer after we're done studying? Why do you think you linger? Why do you think you bring her coffee and save her a seat and remember her deadlines better than your own?”

Matt opened his mouth. Nothing came out.

“She fell first, you fell harder,” Foggy said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You know the drill, man.”

Matt stared.

“…Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh. My brother in Christ, you’re in love.”

Matt exhaled.

“…Shit.”

——————————————————————————————————

Matt didn’t sleep that night.

He lay awake, headphones in, a lecture playing that he didn’t hear, the words echoing over and over again in his head.

“She fell first.”

“You fell harder.”

He didn’t even realize when it happened. Somewhere between her snorting at his awful Latin puns and handing him half her sandwich because he forgot to eat again— he’d fallen. And now she thought he was incapable of loving her the way she deserved.

It felt like a punch to the chest.

But instead of wallowing, he decided to do something.

Starting now.

The next morning, Matt showed up to your apartment with coffee. Your exact order. No text beforehand. No heads-up.

You opened the door in pajama shorts and a hoodie, one sock on and a pen still tucked behind your ear.

“Matt?”

He held up the coffee like it was a peace offering. “You mentioned your 9 a.m. was with Vasquez today. I figured you’d need a hit of caffeine and a minor miracle.”

You blinked. “…That’s weirdly thoughtful of you.”

He smiled. “I’ve been working on that.”

And then he left. Just like that.

No flirting. No lingering.

Just… left.

You stared after him, cup in hand, completely thrown.

It didn’t stop there.

Matt started walking you to class. All the time.

Not just when you happened to be heading the same direction. On purpose.

He’d show up at your building with some excuse— “I needed air,” or “Foggy wasn’t ready yet”— and fall into step beside you like it was routine.

Then came the favors. Printing your notes when the Wi-Fi was down. Fixing the broken strap on your bag. Letting you drag him to that awful late-night diner when you were too wired to sleep.

You didn’t get it.

This wasn’t how Matt Murdock operated.

Matt Murdock flirted, ghosted, and moved on.

This? This was effort.

It was also torture.

Because the more he did it, the more you started to hope. Stupid, dangerous hope. Maybe he did like you. Maybe this wasn’t one-sided after all.

But every time you thought about asking, about saying something— he’d flash that same unreadable smile and change the subject.

So you kept your mouth shut. Kept watching. Waiting.

Hoping.

Meanwhile, Foggy was losing his mind.

“You can’t just— Matt, you cannot boyfriend her without telling her.”

Matt frowned, folding his arms. “I thought this was the part where I prove myself.”

“To who? To her? She already likes you. You’re not proving anything except that you’re allergic to communication.”

“I’m building a foundation.”

Foggy looked pained. “You’re building a bad sitcom plot. Just tell her.”

Matt hesitated. “She said she didn’t want that. She said she’d get over me.”

Foggy sighed so hard, his soul probably left his body.

“Matt. Listen to me. She said that because she didn’t think she could have you. You have ghosted every girl before her, remember?”

Matt winced. “Not every—”

“Every.”

“…Fair.”

Foggy ran a hand down his face. “You’re gonna lose her if you don’t speak up.”

Matt didn’t respond.

Because deep down, he knew it was true.

——————————————————————————————————

It started with Foggy texting you.

Which was already suspicious, because Foggy never texted first unless Matt was—

foggy: hey can you swing by the quad after class?

foggy: matt’s planning something

foggy: i’m scared :,)

Now, when someone like Foggy— sweet, unshakeable, usually-down-for-anything Foggy— is scared, you listen. You changed your route and headed toward the quad.

And promptly stopped dead in your tracks.

Because what the hell were you looking at.

Matt Murdock stood on a bench.

On a goddamn bench. In broad daylight. Holding what looked like a beat-up portable speaker above his head like he was channelling John Cusack in Say Anything.

Button-down rolled to the elbows. Hair tousled like it’d been run through about seven too many times. Foggy was standing off to the side looking like he was actively regretting every life decision that brought him here.

“Oh no,” you whispered. “Oh no.”

A group of students was already watching, phones half-raised. Matt didn’t seem to care.

You watched, frozen, as he raised a hand and cleared his throat. Actually cleared his throat. Like he was about to deliver a valedictorian speech. You saw Foggy mutter don’t do it, like a prayer.

Matt did it anyway.

“I, uh… I know this is weird,” he began, voice carrying over the quad, “but I have something to say. Something important.”

The crowd murmured. A few giggles. One guy yelled “Murdock, you proposing?” which earned a sharp shut up from someone else. Foggy, probably.

Matt ignored it. His face was dead serious. “There’s someone I’ve been an idiot about. Someone smart and stubborn and too good to waste time on someone like me. But she did anyway. She does. And if she’s here—” his head turned slightly “— I want her to know I’m sorry. And that I like her. A lot.”

You blinked.

Foggy made frantic eye contact with you from the sidelines and mouthed stop him.

But you couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

Matt continued. “I was scared, okay? I thought I’d ruin it. Ruin her. But then I realized I’d rather screw up trying to be with her than let her go without even trying. So, (Y/N),” he called, voice way too confident for a man committing this level of social suicide. “This one’s for you.”

A soft click, followed by the unmistakable synthy intro of Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden.

Savage. Fucking. Garden.

You clapped a hand over your mouth.

Someone nearby went “What is happening?”

Matt? he looked hopeful.

And you— stupid, stunned, wildly endeared— were just about to take a step forward when—

Cue the sprinkler system turning on.

Every. Single. Sprinkler.

They sputtered, then blasted to life across the quad like a synchronized ambush. A collective scream rose as people scrambled away, books and phones held over heads.

Matt? Got hit square in the chest, earning a strained Jesus from him.

Foggy somewhere in the periphery muttering “I told him” like a man in mourning.

You? Soaked. Wide-eyed. Laughing.

You actually had to cover your mouth, you were laughing so hard.

Matt stepped down, water dripping from his sleeves. He looked around like he was being personally smitten by the gods. It was like the universe waited for maximum dramatic tension just to drop the punchline.

The song cut out with a strangled sputter as the speaker died a wet, heroic death. Students screamed. Matt cursed under his breath as he was immediately soaked. Foggy, who had clearly seen this coming, was already power-walking toward the nearest tree, muttering “I’m too pretty for this.”

You stood there in shock as water poured down on everyone.

And then— you burst out laughing.

You couldn’t help it. Couldn’t stop it. You doubled over, drenched, laughing so hard it echoed louder than the chaos around you.

Matt stood on the bench, blinking water from his lashes, the speaker dangling uselessly from one hand. He looked like a wet, confused puppy. A hot wet confused puppy. Weird analogy. But still.

You pushed your hair from your eyes and walked over, completely soaked.

“This was your grand romantic gesture?” you asked between giggles.

He ran a hand down his face, sopping. “It was supposed to be better.”

You looked up at him, the pathetic speaker still crackling faintly in his grip. “It was absolutely ridiculous.”

A pause.

You smiled. “It was perfect.”

Foggy squelched up behind you both. “Okay, you’ve both had your romcom moment, can I go home now? My socks are... squishy.”

Matt turned to him, still trying to catch his breath. “Thanks for… whatever part you played in this.”

“I want that thank you in writing,” Foggy muttered. “And a refund for emotional distress.”

You turned back to Matt.

“Do I get to keep the boombox?”

He grinned. “It’s mostly water now. But sure.”

You took a slow step closer. “So… boyfriend material yet?”

He reached out— careful, gentle— and brushed a piece of wet hair behind your ear. “Getting there.”

And then you kissed him.

In the middle of the quad. Soaked to the bone. Surrounded by students who definitely started applauding and whistling, because of course they did.

When you finally pulled back, breathless, Foggy just shook his head.

“Seriously. I hate you both.”

You smiled at him. “Love you too, Fog.”

And Matt?

Well, he didn’t run.

Not this time.

a/n: alright so the fic took a detour from what i had originally planned, it was going to be angst, reader was going to be fwb with matt, and well it's a whole thing, a lot of changes happened but i didn't change the title because well i got attached. i know it doesn't really make sense now with how the story turned out, but i'm leaving it in the story anyway, hope you liked it!

[mwahsturns]

📝 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 - MATT STURNⵊOLO

professor!matt sturniolo x student!reader

Contains: HEAVY smut/oral (female receiving)/fingering/p in v/creampie/swearing/A lot of praise/teasing/flirting/pet names/ unprotected sex/aftercare/fluff. Semi-proof read! And I think that’s it let me know if there’s more.

Synopsis: you’re an 18 year old freshman in college and you’ve always been in love with writing, your whole life you’ve always been hiding behind your books and your writing. You decided you wanted to go to college because you knew you wanted to become something with your writing, you’ve always had big dreams about your work and you knew you could do it. But one day you find out your regular professor had quit his job because of an injury and you were getting a new teacher. What happens when the new professor offers to get you a head making sure you make it where you need to be?, and you end up fucking your new professor.. Mr sturniolo.

Author’s note: i’m doing a collab with @iluvmattsbeard! go check out her version of the reader being the professor! this is my version where Matt is being the professor! i’m so so excited I had the opportunity of working on this with her. she is so so sweet and absolutely talented. i want everyone to show her some love and support because she deserves it! And please enjoy. 💗

* *:･ﾟ✧🏩*:･ﾟ✧

Today has been interesting to say the least, our regular teacher professor Charles quit due to an injury in his knee causing him to have surgery and he probably won’t be able to walk again. I as I walked into the classroom I see I’m the only student here, as I’m putting my stuff down I hear someone walk in.

I swear I felt my heartbeat when I looked behind me, there he was professor sturniolo I only know his name because it’s on his desk but not the point. God he looked so fucking sexy his hair wasn’t messy but it looked so effortlessly fluffy and he had these black glasses that framed his face perfectly, he also had a little blue ish button up shirt but it was slightly opened to where you could see his gold chain. He had some rings on and a watch on his right hand, his beige pants perfectly showed his cock just looking made my mouth water.

Fuck his beard too god this man was a whole walking sex object, I was quickly snapped out of my thoughts by his voice. ‘Hey your early” he says smiling ‘yea I’m always early’ I place my bag on my chair and sit on top of my desk with my leg placed on to of the other one. I noticed him look me up and down and I looked and saw my skirt has lifted a little bit. I was wearing a black and white long sleeve shirt, my cleavage Showing as my necklace sits perfectly on my chest. My skirt was short and plaid with some short sorta see through white socks and some black buckled heals.

‘Cute outfit” he winks and goes to write the agenda on the board, I smile and turn on my heels and sit on my desk and nibble on my pen smirking as I watched him. Eventually everyone started walking into the class and my best friend heather ran over to me and sitting next to me, ‘dude the new professor is so sexy!’ She smiles and as takes her books out, ‘I know we talked this morning’ I smirk as I take a sip of my water. ‘No wonder you’re in the front of the class’ we laugh as we hear professor sturniolo start to speak.

‘Okay guys so as you know professor Charles is out so I’m your new teacher, I’m Mr sturniolo and today’s assessment should be easy you need to write a short story about anything you’d like and share it to the class.’ He smiles and writes it on the board, ‘you guys have the next hour to write it then I’ll have all of you share yours with the class’ oh I got this in the bag I thought as I started writing.

————

The hour is up and he stands in front of the class as he gets ready to announce who goes first, I feel him starting at me as he starts to smirk. ‘You first’ he smirks as he tilts his head looking deeply into my eyes, ‘’me?’ I say confused. ‘Your names Y/n isn’t it?’ He says sassily, ‘yes sir it is’ I say with the same amount of sas ‘well then the floors yours’ he smiles and sits at his desk. I grab my paper and walk the the front of the class flatting my shirt as I begin to read, ‘We shall start with a secret couple, their names is professor Lucas, and a student named Sophia. The two are secretly in love but has yet to expose it to the world so let’s dive deep into their life styles before things get intimate…’ I say smiling as I continue to read.‘Sofia is a very pretty girl, amazing personality, great style, she is a phenomenal actress and she has a great judge of Character and if we need to speak about her body we can say that she has some amazing ideal curve and her face sits perfectly.

‘Professor Lucas is a great guy with amazing humor and he does a phenomenal job at teaching, (that’s what turns Sophia on) he cares for his class and he truly is the person you couldn’t hate even if you tried. Jumping in Sophia walks into lecture hall, looking a little bit more Expensive or extravagant, she is wearing her Golden necklace that says her name in a cursive writing a white button up long sleeve crop top tied at the bottom with a tripled white skirt and some white heals. (she truly loves the color white, she feel it enhances her look more) as sophia Is carrying her books, Professor Lucas takes notice and says ‘ah Ms Raven, please have a seat in the front for me.’ He says pointing out the seat closes to him smiling. Sophia walks down to take a seat and sets her notebooks down and gets her Mac-book out of her bag to place it elegantly on her desk.

Professor looked down and said ‘good morning sweetheart, why are you late?’ As Sophia looks up into his amazing beautiful emerald eyes and smiled saying ‘I woke up late sir’ she knows calling him Sir makes him feel respected and satisfied, ‘hmm see me after class young lady…’ as he continues the lecture. As the day goes on classes come to an end, which reminds Sophia to go meet with professor. As she arrived she placed a firm knock on the door and patiently waited for him to come and answer, in less than a minute the professor answered the door and said ‘Ms raven please come in’ as he smiled looked outside the door before closing it too lock it. He looked at her with a romantic expression. ‘I want us to get intimate, we’ve been kissing secretly hanging out for a while but now, I want to show you that I’m ready for another step and that is showing you that I want to dominate you and show you how much I love you in a different way’ ‘I’d figure you’d get the hook’ the professor looks confused when she says that and says ‘what do you mean?’ As he steps a little closer toward her, ‘I mean I’ve been wearing the slutty things to lure you in or to make you want to fuck me, I wanted to show you that I’m ready for the next step but I was just to afraid to ask.’

The professor steps closer to her them almost touching noses as he says ‘Mama you don’t gotta be nervous or afraid, if you want me to give it to you just ask me. I won’t even hesitate’ professor says as he slowly cuffed her Chin and pulled her into an intimate kiss inhaling deeply as it escalated.

Sophia continues the kiss for a few more moments before breaking it wrapping her hand in his tie, ‘I want you’ sounding a little breathless turning the professor on more. ‘I know you do baby’ the professor said gently brushing his hand down the side of her face, ‘lay down, and open your legs for me’ Sophia proceeds to do so as the professor smiled and watched, As she finished doing what he asked he then spoke ‘good girl’ as he then walked closer to her then sliding his fingers up her inner thigh to tease her already wet pussy. he rubbed his thumb around her clitoris teasing even more before gently sliding off her white see through lingerie panties. He took off his shirt revealing his soft skin and muscular chest.

sniffing the panties and throwing them to the side, he licked his middle and ring finger before rubbing her clitoris once again before loosing his belt and took of his cargo baggy black jeans revealing his huge cock print in his underwear. he took her hand and rubbed it around his print moaning and groaning a little. And just know you aren’t going nowhere….’ As I finished reading this class started clapping, I look at Matt to see him smirking arms crossed god he looks perfect.

‘Great job mrs L/N and um can you see me after class?’ I smiled and nodded my head as I walked back to my seat.

———-

Class ended and I’m packing up my stuff as I hear heather start talking, ‘girl your paper was so good like ugh i felt the emotion and I think professor sturniolo liked it too’ she winks putting on her backpack. ‘Who knows but I’ll see you after?’ ‘Duh ofc you will’ I laugh putting on my backpack, soon everyone leaves and I walk up to the professors desk. ‘You wanted to speak with me?’ I say smiling, ‘yea I did um your writing is so excellent your a very talented young lady’ he smiled leaning forward on the desk. ‘Well it is my specialty’ I smirk ‘mmh we’ll keep up the good work’ he smiles packing up his stuff ‘Will do!’ I laugh as I leave his class.

professor Sturniolo has been here for about two weeks now and to say I’ve got him wrapped around my finger is an understatement to say the least, he’s has been favoriting me for weeks now always giving me extra credit and pushing back deadlines for me I didn’t think anything of it until now.

‘Girl he’s so into you!’ Heather says as we enter the empty class, ‘I don’t know..’ I mean if that was true god it would fuel my sexual fantasies so much. ‘I’m telling you it’s a matter of time before he fucks you’ heather and I take our seats up front as professor sturniolo walks in, ‘good morning Y/N morning heather’ he says giving me this irresistible look that makes me just want him ‘Good morning’ I smile.

As I’m writing our notes for an essay coming up in feel him walk up to my desk as he wisphers in my ear ‘see me after class’ he says as he walks back to his desk. I can’t lie that did make me aroused I know it’s wrong but it also feels right.

————

As everyone left the class I see the smirk growing on his face as the class grows empty. Once the class is completely empty he stands up from his chair and leaned his back against his desk as his arms were crossed, ‘you know you’re a very special young lady..’ ‘mmh you think’ I smirk teasing him a little. ‘I do.. very much the work you’ve turned in has been exceptional your writing style is remarkable..” he walks over to my desk and leans down to my ear. ‘And i must say you’re a very beautiful girl..”

‘Thank you, I appreciate it’ I smile as he basically towers over me, ‘so you got a boyfriend?’ He says as he runs his hand through my hair ‘no.. what about you got a girlfriend or a wife?’ I say looking up at him. ‘Oh no it’s just me’ I mentally take note of that even though it shouldn’t matter to me ‘look your very talented and happen to be very beautiful and I want you to be more than just a basic writer you can be so much more’ he says sitting on the desk next to me ‘I know I’ve always believed I can do it I just wasn’t even sure how to start’ honestly I’m lying I know exactly why he’s saying all of this but I just wanna see how far he’ll take things.

‘Well how about this .. you help me and I’ll make sure you get right where you need to be’ he smirks ‘okay but how will I help you?’ I already know what he wants I just wanna tease him a little I’ve seen way to many teacher and student movies and books to not know. ‘What if you let me teach you a few things mmh? Fuck I can’t lie that did make me a little wet ‘mmh like what?’ I tease standing in his face, next thing I know I’m picked up and placed on his desk.

‘Let me please you..’ he says kissing my neck harshly. I can’t deny as the kiss gets longer the more I’m starting to crave more. He started kissing lower down my neck placing open mouthed kisses onto my breast, i tugged on his hair as his hand slid down into my skirt. ‘Well look at that my perfect student getting all wet for her professor huh such a slut..’ he says as he pulls down my skirt and my underwear harshly.

I bite my lip as I see him spit on his fingers I don’t know what has gotten into me but right now I need him in me, he takes his fingers and slide them into my dripping pussy as he gives me no time to adjust he fingers me very rough.

‘Oh my- fuck’ I moan throwing my head back biting my lip, ‘mmh feels good doesn’t it? He looks like a kid in a candy store the way he’s looking at my vagina right now. ‘fuck yes.’ He smiles at my response and stands up pulling his pants and boxers off and holy shit he’s fucking big.

‘That’s supposed to fit in me?!’ I actually am now kinda nervous, ‘mmh I’ll make it fit’ he walks back over to the desk and pulls my legs forward and now I’m laying down on his desk legs wide open how the fuck did I get here?. He slides into me and I swear to god I saw stars fuck he felt so good, ‘fuck your so tight’ he moaned pounding into me like he was getting a fucking pay check.

‘Oh fuck sir omg..’ I moaned maybe a little too loudly, ‘fuck-please call me Matt’ he tried to say as he let out a choked groan. God his name makes this 10x hotter. ‘Fuck Matt I’m so close’ I moan, ’yea cum on this dick baby’ his thrust getting faster but more deeper.

‘Fuck I’m gonna cum!’ I screamed ‘me too baby let it out mama’ he moaned as I came all over his dick and I felt his warm cum fill me. ‘Fuck you did so good for me’ he smiled kissing my lips softly, ‘I don’t think I can walk..’ ‘it’s okay I’ll clean you up’ he walks to his desk and gets a rag and wipes both of us down. Once were cleaned up and I’m standing he walked up to me and smiled. ‘Well I guess I’ll be fucking you more often huh?’ I smiled ‘oh definitely’.

I smiled and walked out of the classroom fuck he better give me a good grade for that.

A/n: I hope you enjoyed plus Don’t hate this is my first smut ever so I’m so so sorry if it’s bad pls leave some tips in my inbox!

Taglist!

@iluvmattsbeard @m9ttsverse

(COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED ONTO MY TAG LIST!)

[star-lights-up]

OKAY OKAY OKAY BUT: Cherik "The Martian" AU

So I'm rereading the martian today because i am sick again, so obviously I need hard science fiction to combat the existential dread, and my brain just kept latching onto dialogue bits and going "CHERIK! MAKE IT CHERIK"

My thoughts are:

Charles and Erik were friends at one point, maybe during college, maybe at the beginning of training, IDK, at some point they had a bit of a falling out. They're civil enough to still get put on the mission together but it's well known they don't get along.

Though there was that one night, where they were both kinda drunk, and they got together......... ("We can't do this again." Erik said, angrily, in the morning. Charles left without so much as glancing at him, let alone responding.)

There's a sandstorm on sol 6, and the team is trying to evacuate (probably the first class team because that's just easy. Hank = pilot. I bet you moira is the leader lady, lewis, military trained or whatever. And everyone else is there too, but i'm on my asthma medication so I can't think clearly, so they don't get specific roles)

The radio dish comes off, impales Charles, he blows backward while unconscious (lower gravity or some shit idk physics) and crashes into Erik, who then gets hit by more debris. The thing that impaled Charles also impaled his biotelemetry reader, and Erik's got crushed on impact/by the debris, so both of them read as dead to their crew members, who have to leave or else they die too.

Erik wakes up first, since he's not actively bleeding and his suit's not impaled and loosing air. The sandstorm is over, the HAB (think space station/tent) is intact (yay!), but the MAV (think small spaceship good for like, a round trip to and from a larger vessel) is gone (fuck).

He tries to wake Charles up, but ends up dragging him back to the HAB on his own. He takes out the antenna that impaled him and sews up and bandages the cut, while Charles is semi-conscious. It's painful for now, but he'll live. Erik's exhausted, so he goes back to his own bunk and falls asleep, kinda hoping this is all a nightmare.

It's not gone in the morning. He's still stuck on mars in a glorified tent with limited resources and his least favorite person on the team.

They talk to each other, Charles thanks him for helping him, and they decide that they're just going to have to work together to get off of mars alive.

Charles = botanist, erik is the engineer (basically gonna have them split the original main guy's braincell. They already share one anyway).

Potato farming

Along the way, they kinda sorta start becoming friends again. They're relying on each other to survive, they're the only people each other can talk to... They play chess on the computers and watch Moira's awful 70's television and listen to disco that she brought along with her. They farm potatoes and jerry rig rovers and then oops, they fell asleep in the same tiny bunk watching tv together. Oops, they hugged after the potatoes germinated. Oops, they kissed in celebration when they finally made contact with NASA again.

Just like that, they've fallen into a new rhythm. They still argue a lot, but now there's also a good amount of kissing and little fleeting touches while they work together and they put their bunks together and fall asleep in each other's arms ("Do you realize," Charles says one night, Erik curled against his chest, pressing slow kisses to his collarbone, "We're the only people to have made love on a planet other than Earth?" Erik snorts softly, "NASA's not going to be hearing about that, if I can help it." "You realize that the HAB's always recording us, yes? They'll get the footage when we get back to Earth." "...Right. Huh." Erik frowns, then shrugs, "Worth it." Charles laughs.)

Erik gets stuck inside the airlock when the HAB deflates and they loose all their potatoes. Charles is in the rover and, for a while, was convinced Erik was dead. Until he saw the airlock start to roll towards the HAB, and then he started steering the rover over.

After they got the HAB back up, NASA tells them they're sending a supply probe called "Iris." (Transmission goes like this: [08:31] JPL: Keep us posted on any mechanical or electric problems. By the way, the name of the probe we're sending is Iris. Named after the Greek goddess who traveled the heavens with the speed of wind. She's also the goddess of rainbows. [08:47] LEN/XAV: Gay probe coming to save us. Got it. Erik heads back to the HAB. "Hello, darling. How's Houston?" Charles says, not turning from his soil samples or whatever the fuck he's been doing for three days. "They're sending us a pride-themed probe full of granola bars." Erik answers, shoving off his EVA suit. Charles turns to give him a quizzical, are-you-joking kind of look, then bursts out laughing upon seeing Erik's dead serious face. "Well, it's certainly fitting," He says, walking up to Erik and wrapping his arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.)

Anyways. Iris doesn't make it, shit keeps going wrong, BUT eventually their team catches wind of a plan -- a risky plan, but one that could save cherik. So, without houston's permission, they pilot their ship on a course back to mars. They'll do a flyby, and if Charles and Erik can get to the site of Ares 5 and the MAV for that mission, retrofit the MAV, make it to their team's ship without dying/miscalculating and shooting off into the depths of outer space, they can get to that ship and on a course back to earth by sol 549.

They spend a bunch of time retrofitting their rovers for the trip, and so begins the classic cherik roadtrip -- martian style!! (I just want to mention that there's like no space, so just picture them cuddled up for a good night's sleep on the front bench of the rover. there. cuteness among the science).

They flip at one point. I could add details but it's been a while of me writing this and my brain is slowly dying and i'm tired so. that's it.

They make it to ares 5, they retrofit the MAV, then they do The Riskiest Space Flight of All Time. Random shit goes wrong, everyone's improvising, it pretty much seems like they're done for...

They get back to the big ship. They're safe!! (well, as safe as you can be in space.) But they get a hot shower and full meals and much more comfortable bunks (in separate rooms, technically, but Erik refuses to leave Charles's side so they end up in one bunk that first night. Usually they'd try to be a bit more discreet, but what the fuck. They've been stuck on mars. They almost just died. They deserve to fall asleep in each other's arms.)

They are HEROS back on earth. They get married almost immediately -- it seems quick to a lot of people, but they're so trauma bonded that, like, it's necessary. they go to paris on their honeymoon and get lots of free stuff. They never go to space again lol (and gladly)

THE END (fucking finally, it's 12:00 am on the dot and i've been writing this for 45 minutes.)

EDIT: some art I did for this au

EDIT: I fucking did it. I started writing it. Oops.

[riahreadz]

Random post but here we are in my statistics class avoiding paying attention so let's get to the point.

My favorite tropes, micro-tropes, minor details, etc. in Teen Wolf fics, listed cause why not:

Stiles doing everything in his power to protect the Hales. Spark or not, the Hales are his family, and he'll either die protecting them or kill anyone in sight that threatens them.

I'm all for angst - angstier, the better, okay? So when there's some big bad that has to do with fire, or just some random flame and Stiles noticing Derek and Peter's becoming nervous around it? Or his strong need to protect them from anything to do with fire. It's chefs' kiss 🤌🏼

Despite loving angst, I NEED a HAPPY ending. Because of this I always read the last paragraph/sentence/scene to make sure it's happy and only read finished fics. It works okay?

Peter hates everyone but Stiles. He's actually quite weak for the human/spark. Stiles knows he can get away with just about anything because he's got Peter wrapped around his finger.

Stiles being the only person to know where Peter's home/den is.

Peter, being just so soft with Stiles, warms my heart. Obviously, Peter is bad, but make it make sense for him to be bad. And the best way to do this? Protecting what's his - Stiles, his den, his pack.

The endless nicknames. Like I get some of these come from the show, but I'm talking about the dramatic usage of them. Zombiewolf, Creeperwolf, Sourwolf, Red, etc.

Stiles obsession with Derek's eyebrows and his ability to interpret them!

When a fic expresses Peter, being touched starved gets me every time. The angst! And how it's always Stiles to the rescue and noticing this.

The thin line between love and hate, enemies and friends/lovers/mates between Chris and Peter. The build up to them as teens, blow out break up cause of the family dynamics or the fire and Chris leaving to protect coma Peter! bonus if Chris leaves a letter or some type of communication for Peter for when he wakes and then coming together to defeat the Argents once and for all, or just simply living out the rest of their life in peace finally together.

When Peter and Chris are together romantically and as pack Alpha/Alpha Mate and are raising Allison and Malia together. Like idc what age the girls are at, but they're sisters. Peter is Allison's dad, Chris is Malia's dad.

Stiles/Peter/Chris and honestly they fit into any micro/trope I mention about Peter/Chris.

Stiles figuring out how to go back in time to save Allison

The pack bonds between Stiles, Erica and Boyd.

The brother/sister love between Derek and Erica.

The deep sighs Derek and Boyd share when they act to be put off by their mates Stiles and Erica but in reality are so in love with them that they just find every little thing their mates do as cute.

The absolute beautiful friendship between Stiles and Lydia.

Bad friend/bad alpha Scott

Sheriff Stilinski (Noah or John?) realizing his son's love and connections to the Hales - bonus points if he sees it before Stiles realizes he's in love with Derek or Peter. And just accepting it, whether he puts rules in place or not.

I even enjoy seeing some Malia and Jackson are actually twins reuniting as siblings and Peter as their dad.

I didn't know I'd enjoy this one, but Sheriff Stilinski and Jordan 🤨 never really cared for Jordan but I'm on board with this ship.

And on that note - Malia and Kira but as a side ship. Don't really care to read them as a main ship.

Issac having attachment/dependency issues with Derek. Straddling the edge of brothers or even Derek sorta being a father figure.

Stiles straddling his love interest - Derek, Peter, or Chris. Literally has me squealing every. damn. time.

Murder husbands Stiles and Peter.

Derek or Peter and Stiles leaving Beacon Hell. Bonus points if they gather the pack along the move.

The ideal pack depends on who Stiles is with especially when it comes to dynamics (I've rewritten this point so many times but need more than a bullet point to describe this so it'll be another post that I'll connect to this post eventually. )

Peter taking care of Stiles after the nogitsune. At any level. Literally could be just being someone for Stiles to talk to or hang out around cause he knows Peter isn't judging or having to physically care for Stiles cause he's dissociating.

Stiles and Jackson forming a bond over their shared trauma of being controlled by the nogitsune/kanima

I love the idea of Peter wisking Stiles away from Beacon Hills rather to heal or permanently.

But I love it when Stiles stumbles or intentionally finds Derek outside Beacon Hills.

Neck scenting 🤝 neck biting

I love a good magical Stiles and Peter being proud/impressed

I loveeeeeee when Stiles calls Peter his Alpha and Peter's eyes flash cause he just can't control himself 100% around his boy + or cause he never thought he'd have this Alpha power, Stiles, a home, a Pack

The easy banter between Stiles and Peter

But the silent communication between Derek and Stiles - cause od the eyebrows obviously- or just cause they can read each other so well

Stiles standing up to Scott for Derek due to the Gerald instance of having Derek bite him

Or Stiles standing up and defending Peter or Derek against Scott

Teen Wolf Movie fix it - Derek doesn't die or he does and Stiles brings him back

Stiles. Is. Eli's. Dad. In every way that matters. Rather that's biological or not. Mpreg, adoption, etc. Doesn't matter. Eli is Derek and Stiles's son.

Peter taking care of the Sherrif to please Stiles rather than taking him healthy food, eating lunch with him, etc. Bonus if it starts during the healing from Nogitsune when Stiles can't quite get back to feeling normal again.

Window creeping. Derek or Peter starting the sneaking in and out of Stiles window that eventually turns into anyone from the pack.

Derek or Peter healing Stiles, physically bandaging him up and/or using their wolfy mojo black vein pain stealing thing

JUST ONE BED 😱

Slow burn enemies to lovers. This works for both Steter and Sterek. Even Stetopher.

Mate bite placement theory ✨️

I think that's it for now. I'll probably add more and more eventually or as I read even more fics 🤣 idk why I even wrote this all us but okayy.

Eventually imma write up ideal packs and dynamics from the perspective of Alpha Derek or Peter, given Steter, Sterek, and Stetopher. And specific tropes/micro given which ship.

Comment some of your favs! I need more ideas lol

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because of his older sister?

Title will not make sense without context. For simplicity, let's call my ex B (20) and his sister S (21 almost 22)

So I (20) used to date this guy B. We met through a college summer class and just immediately clicked. We bonded over shared favorite media and characters, career interests etc. A couple weeks later and we decide to start dating. It'd been going really well for about a year so far up until about a week or so ago.

B had mentioned his older sister a few times in passing, but never mentioned her name. He'd only refer to her as "my sister" and she wasn't really brought up often, either. I sometimes asked stuff about having a sibling since I'm an only child, but for the most part she wasn't really a big deal. One day he tells me that she's turning 21 soon and that I should come to his family's to celebrate (they decided to celebrate earlier than her actual birthday since everyone's way too busy for the next month to do anything (jobs plus summer classes you get it)). I say yes, get all pumped up to meet his family (he's hyped them up a lot. Though he didn't mention his older sister, he'd talk about his parents and grandparents a lot) and the day comes and I realize that.. his older sister is one of my exes.

The moment we noticed each other was the most awkward minute I've ever had to endure in my entire life. He introduced me as his partner to her, and we both nodded at each other in greeting (at the time I also took it as a silent agreement to not say anything about our past relationship)

The party goes well, despite the awkwardness. We were both good at pretending nothing was wrong (this will come back in a moment) so the night passed well and we head back to my apartment. The next day I tell him the truth: that his older sister is one of my exes, and that it was a nasty breakup. I'm talking throwing glass kind of breakup (moreso her throwing glass at me). We were both drunk when it happened and things escalated VERY quickly, and afterwards we both went completely no contact. He says he believes me, and we'll just not visit his parent's place when she's there, but unfortunately she literally lives there, so visits would be rare. This sucks for a couple of reasons. 1 He's a huge mommy's/daddy's boy and loves his parents/gparents to death, and 2 if we ever wanted to have any big moment in our lives like marriage, kids etc she'd have to be there, and I just generally wasn't comfortable with that. He says there's nothing he can really do about that and we both sorta get quiet for a bit before he excuses himself to go back to his place, telling me to think about it a bit more. I do, and the next day I call him to break up with him (low to breakup over the phone, I know) and i can hear him start to get a bit choked up before we hang up.

It's been about a week since then and although I'm confident I never want to see her in my life again, I miss my boyfriend and feel awful for putting him through this. But I know there's feasibly no way for us to be together while avoiding his sister for the rest of our lives. So AITA for breaking up with him? Is there something I could've done different?

[luckyjiii]

a vampire's kiss {l.z.}

WORDCOUNT - 6.1k

Paring - frat!Laurance Zvhal x reader

tw/cw- alcohol, thigh riding, fingering, oral (m and f), protected sex, edging, sorta softdom!laurance, facial, pet names, marking, biting, very minor hair pulling, multiple orgasms, pussydrunk!laurance, dumbification

Not grammar checked sorry! >~<

Halloween was just around the corner. In the college town that meant children trick-or-treating, spooky decorations being hung up, and the town’s Halloween festival. However, for the students of Falcon Claw university, this meant many parties. The week before Halloween was like any other for you, classes, going home, hanging out with all your friends, especially your best friend Travis, then rinse, and repeat. 

Travis and you arrived at class early to find your favorite seat and to talk with some privacy. “Soooo y/n..My frat is gonna have this totally epic party this weekend and I think you should come!” He was always too energetic in the mornings. “Hmm well are there going to be any vampires there?” Travis raised an eyebrow at you and gave you a look of confusion.

You leaned in and whispered into his ear as more students walked in. “Travis I have a thing for vampire, if there’s one there I’ll fuck them.” Travis’ jaw dropped and he whipped his head towards you letting out a gasp. “Y/N! You naughty girl!” He laughed at you and as the teacher walked in. He knew exactly who he had to tell about this.

Laurance arrived at the frat house and headed to his shared room with Garroth as he passed Travis and you leaving Travis’ room. He didn’t know what was going on between you two. The two of you claimed to be best friends but knowing Travis, he wasn’t sure how he could only be friends with someone as beautiful as you. 

He heard the front door close and Travis peeked around the corner. “Laurancee you’ll never guess what good news y/n told me!” He said in a sing-songy voice that never failed to annoy Laurance. “So you know how you like her?” Laurance’s eyes widened at that. 

“How did you know what Travis..?” Travis scoffed and gave him a mischievous smile. “You don’t try hard to hide it. I see you making heart eyes at her everytime she comes over but anyways, she said she’d get with anyone dressed as a vampire if you know what I mean. Just wanted to tell you!” He winked as he ran off. Sometimes Laurance wondered what was wrong with that boy. Also though..he would keep that in mind.

Inside one of the bathrooms of the frat was Laurance, Aphmau dressed as a purple werewolf, and Lucinda dressed as some anime character that nobody could name off the top of their head. He sat on the toilet lid in his vampire costume as Aphmau carefully did his makeup. “Laurance, stay still!! The makeup is gonna get on your clothes!!” He wasn’t used to getting makeup put on him and the brush Aphmau was using to make him look paler tickled. “Yeah, don’t mess up the costume I made you. Why’d you ask for it and for us to help you on such short notice?” Lucinda questioned while tilting his head. Honestly he felt a little foolish doing all this for you but I’d be worth it. 

“Y/N said she likes vampires!” Travis interjected as he peeked his head into the bathroom and flashed a cheeky smile. He then quickly left before any questions could be asked. Aphmau let out a more exaggerated gasp than Lucinda as they both asked. “You like y/n?” He nodded his head before a quick careful was yelled at him. “Laurance why didn’t you tell us we could have helped! You know I’m like the matchmaker!” The ravenette scolded him.

He sighed before he spoke. “I just didn’t want everyone to know. Can you help me?” Aphmau squealed as the two girls agreed to. Finishing up his makeup, Aphmau added small designs to make him look, in her words, like a sexier Edward Cullen. He looked in the mirror to see and even he had to admit he looked more handsome than usual.

After putting on his cape and parting ways from the girls was the final part of his look, the fangs he ordered online. He didn’t really understand the hype of vampires but from what he had seen online and asked, girls liked the appeal of danger and getting bitten. Putting them in he felt a bit silly again and really questioned if this was all worth it. His thoughts were interrupted by his roommate Garroth. 

“Bro you look good but I thought you were gonna be Ghostface?” He sat on the bed next to him and smiled. “Ah man change of plans, you look right at home as a cowboy.” Laurance laughed as his worries went to the back of his mind. If he was like this for the rest of the party and just stopped worrying so much tonight would go smoothly. 

Garroth got up from the bed and motioned him to follow as the party was about to start. Some people were already there but it was about to hit full swing. Aphmau and Lucinda waved him over as he came down stairs to talk about their plan.He saw Travis slip out right before the clock hit nine, where waves of many people filed into the house. He tried to look at the people coming in but none of them were you.

You arrive at the party well after it was in full swing. You were still on the fence about going until Travis appeared at your front door. “Y/N there’s a vampire waiting for you at the party!” After that you threw together a slutty sleeping beauty costume, which really consisted of a short pink dress with some white and gold accents and a crown on your head. 

Now at the party you didn’t really know what to do. Aphmau was talking to you but you were scanning the crowd for your vampire. Travis was pushing through the crowd to find you. “Y/N! Mr. Vampire is over there!!” He yelled barely enough to hear over the music while pointing. 

You turned your head to see a tall sandy haired man talking to Lucinda. A black cape was draped over his long figure. You saw him turn his head towards your direction to see that your Mr. Vampire was Laurance, one of Travis’ friends. 

Laurance had caught your eye over the time you had known the group, never being too close to each other. He was handsome with his blue eyes that reminded you of the ocean. His olive skin always looked like he had just gotten away from the beach. The warm smile he always gave you in the brief moments you talked. The way he smelled, and your favorite thing, the intense gaze he had when you two met eyes during group hangouts. 

Now in his costume you couldn't see the warm guy you had grown to kinda know, but you would be lying if you said he didn't look good. The white

makeup made his skin paler but you wondered if you could make him sweat it off. The blood around his mouth made his lips pop out more, they looked soft. 

You took a sip of your drink for courage and started to head your way to him. “Laurance she's coming this way, take this." Lucinda put a vile labeled ‘liquid confidence’ into his hand and walked away. He popped it open and chugged it, feeling an additional sense of self-assurance he felt a tap on his arm. 

He turned around to see you. He was stunned at how gorgeous you looked. All doubts he had before were long forgotten as the off the shoulder dress led his eye directly to your cleavage. He glanced down and noticed just how short the dress was, stopping mid thigh. He let out a wow under his breath. 

“Hey, your Laurance right? Wanna dance with me?” You leaned in so that you wouldn't have to yell. He nodded as you grabbed his hand and led him to the dance floor. This being your first party in forever and always only dancing with your friends you weren't sure how to even dance together. 

Your feelings of indecisiveness melted away under the feeling of warm hands on your hips from behind you. Turning to see him, Laurance pulled you closer and started to sway your hips to the beat of the song. He leaned down to whisper in your ear. 

“You look really pretty tonight princess.” It was so simple but something as simple as that turned you on much more than you'd like to admit. The minutes and songs blurred together as dancing with him was the only thing that mattered at the moment. 

However it couldn't last forever and he offered to get a drink before dancing more. Waiting outside the packed kitchen for him to return, Aphmau approached you. “Hii y/n!!! I saw you dancing with Laurance!" She said, raising her eyebrows in a knowing way. 

“Isn't he just the besttt? He's sooo cool and a really really good guy. You guys would be super duper cute together.” You nodded giggling as she spoke, sounding very drunk. It wasn't long after more babbling about Laurance that she was pulled away by Aaron and Laurance came back. 

      “Hey princess, ready to get back to dancing?” He said while you turned to face him and he handed you a drink. His back was facing the light coming from the kitchen and was only illuminated by the flashing party lights. This is the first time tonight you had really gotten a good look at him, and maybe you thought this because you had been deprived of sex for so long, but if the room wasn’t full of people now you would’ve jumped into his arms and begged him to fuck you, but that wouldn’t be happening, at least for now.

“Are you calling me princess because you don’t remember my name??” You asked, trying to tease seeing if this confidence was just an act. However you were quickly proven wrong as he pulled you close to him. Your head was pushed against his chest as he whispered into your ear. “Y/N I could never forget the name of a beauty like you.”

A heat crept over your whole body, he had such a way with words. He loosened his grip on you so he could look at you, but kept his arms wrapped around your waist. He leaned down making your faces inches away from each other. “Princess can I..?”

The moment was interrupted by the two of you getting bumped by someone, after all you were still standing by one of the entrances to the kitchen. “OH MY IRENE I’m so sorry Y/N-chan and Laurance-kun!!!” Kawaii-chan, in a pink anime costume you couldn’t bother to recognize, apologized. 

“Kitty watch where you’re going!” Behind her was one of the other boys from the frat that you thought was her boyfriend, Zane. He was dressed completely the opposite of her in a grim reaper costume. Which would be funny seeing them together if they hadn’t just ruined your kiss. “It’s fine Kawaii-Chan.” Laurance said with some annoyance in his voice. She apologized again and ran off with Zane outside. 

Although the mood was ruined, your feelings for him at that moment were not. If he was to just steal a quick kiss and go back to dancing with you it would be enough in your opinion, even though you and him both know you want more. Before anything else could happen Travis placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“Heyyy y/n! You having fun??” You could tell he was slightly drunk by the slurring of his speech. “You don’t mind if I take her rightt Laurance??” He said, pulling you away before the other could say anything. Why was everyone trying to disrupt you two right as things were getting good?

“Travis what the fuck! Why’d you pull me away?? We were about to kiss..” You said super annoyed at the second distraction tonight. All you wanted to do was make what you told Travis come true with a super hot vampire. You rolled your eyes as he realized what he did.

“Oh my IRENE I did not mean to..Well my bestest friend have fun.. But not too much fun!” He pushed you back into Laurance’s direction. Pushing through the crowd you could barely see him, not because Travis took you far, but because lots of party goers decided to migrate to the kitchen to get drinks. It’s like the universe was trying to keep you apart right now.

You felt a hand grab your wrist, it was Laurance after he saw you and decided to just head your way. He pulled you through the crowd towards the stairs. He muttered something under his breath before being stopped mid crowd. This time it was Garroth and Laurance let out a very annoyed groan.

“What is it Garroth?” Garroth opened his mouth to say something but he saw you trailing behind Laurance and closed it again. He thought for a second before whispering something to Laurance that you couldn’t hear. All you saw was the annoyance washing off Laurance and him nodding his head. “3:30..ok got it.” He repeated back.

You didn’t know what that was about but you did notice Laurance switch from holding your wrist to your hand, which made your face heat up. As he continued to lead you up the stairs you peeked into the crowd and saw Travis winking and giving you a thumbs up, you laughed and winked back. Leading you through the less crowded hallway you saw many doors closed and some people you knew in the cracks of slightly open doors.

Finally at the end of the hall you arrived at Laurance’s room. You had seen most of the other rooms except for this one, which was the one you were most curious about. Would his side of the room be clean and mature like him? Or maybe you would see that he’s super nerdy and the opposite of what you’ve expected.

The door opened and you were pulled into the room. You looked around and honestly it was nothing too special , green sheets on the bed, some posters of things he liked. Being so busy inspecting his room you didn’t notice him let go of your wrist and the door closing made you jump, he had also shed his cape and red suit vest leaving him in his white button up and black pants. He let out a chuckle which just made you all fuzzy inside. Seriously, how had he not had a girlfriend by now?

“Finally I’ve got you to myself.” He said as he hugged you from behind. His embrace was warm and comforting, you could get used to this. “Princess, I really like you.” He said turning you around and leaning down to eye level. “Can I..?” You didn’t even know what to say, it’s like all the words you’d ever known disappeared from your brain, you thought this would be a one night stand but him saying those words gave you hope for more. With a blank mind you just nodded your head yes.

He closed the gap between you two and it felt like fireworks were going off in your stomach. You had thought about this moment in passing maybe once or twice but never thought it would actually happen, or even be this good. He placed one hand on the back of your head and tightened the one around your waist to deepen the kiss. You tangled your hands into his slicked back sandy hair messing it up as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. 

Without noticing he started to lead you towards his bed. You became aware of this when the back of your knees hit the edge of the bed. You fell backwards onto the bed without breaking the kiss. As the kiss went on the needier and sloppier it got. He switched the positions to where you were now placed on one of his thighs as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

Both of his hands were placed on your hips and helped you gently rock back and forth. You gasped, breaking the kiss for the first time since you locked lips. You laid your forehead on his shoulder as you let out small, quiet moans directly into his ear. You let out a remarkably loud moan as he bit into your exposed neck with his fangs. He bit in a number of other spots on your neck a few more times before starting to suck leaving small marks around your neck. 

You wrapped your arms around him the best you could to stabilize yourself to speed up. The feeling of the fabric of your panties and his jeans rubbing against your clit was addicting. As it continued you start to feel arousal bubbling and a burn in your thighs from moving yourself.

Slowing down as you felt yourself wearing out Laurance bit you neck again and stopped moving, making you yelp and whine from a lack of friction. “C’mon princess don’t give up on me now, I know you're close I can hear it.” He said as he sped up the movements of his hands again. You were falling apart in his hands like putty, and you prayed to Irene that it wouldn’t be the last time.

You don’t know how much more of this you could take. Between his fluctuating speed of moving you, all the marks he was leaving on you, and the praises he gave you you were teetering on the edge of an orgasm. You were thankful your moans were drowned out from everyone else at the party with the blaring, but muffed for you, music. 

Everytime you signaled your peak to Laurance he slowed you down making you whine again. It happened more times than you could count as your head spinned with the intoxicating cycle till you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Laurance please” You whined, just a little bit more and you would’ve cum but now your orgasm had been ruined “Please don’t stop again please” You begged him lifting your head from his shoulder and looking at him with watery eyes. The cocky smile he had dropped and a worried look appeared on his face. He captured you into a tight embrace.“I’m so sorry princess you sounded so pretty I couldn’t help it, you ok?” You nodded sniffling, as your face fell back into his shoulder. 

He let you go and held your hips again tightly, this time determined to make you cum. He started moving you again, building up his pace. You held him tight as you scratched his back through his shirt leaving marks that stung. The familiar feeling of pleasure starting to boil over had appeared. All you could do was tap his back to warn him before your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, you swore you saw stars.

When you came back from the high you released him from the tight squeeze you didn’t realize you had stuck him in. “Don't let go now, we're just getting started." He said as he laid you down onto the bed. 

He lowered himself until you couldn't see head below your skirt. He licked a strip over your clothed pussy as you let out a whine. He pulled down your panties with his teeth making direct eye contact with you. 

He threw them somewhere behind him. Nervousness and arousal bubbled in your stomach as his fangs grazed your thigh. He licked another stripe into your wet fold. His tongue flicking your sensitive clit sent waves of pleasure flowing through your body. 

You tangled your fingers into his hair, messing it up more than you already had. You pulled him closer and spread your legs wider. His tongue poked at your hole, making your legs shake. Being so sensitive from your prior orgasm you were sent over the edge by him sucking and flicking his tongue over your clit. He licked up everything you gave him as you rode out another orgasm on his face. 

He lifted his head, seeing that all the makeup around his mouth to chin had been smudged in some parts and completely washed off in others. The only cohesive part of it was that it was shiny from your juices. Your head was just spinning from the sight of this. 

“Ready to give up yet princess?” He said with a smirk. He just couldn't get enough of you, if you would let him he would've stayed between your legs forever drinking up every sweet drop you gave him. But you both wanted something more satisfying than that. 

You shook your head in disagreement. Giving up and ending this was the last thing you wanted to to, especially since there was no guarantee for a next time. Even though you were weak, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him up towards your face to kiss him again. Locking lips, you could taste yourself but honestly you didn’t mind.

His hands roamed your body until his left found a place on your boob and his right went under your dress. You gasped and moaned into the kiss as two of his fingers entered you. Your back arched as your chest hit his. You moaned out his as he sped up the pace of his fingers.

His fingers curled and hit just the right spot, it was like he knew your body like the back of his hand. “L-Laurance…please” You gasped out, he hummed in response too occupied with moving his finger to actually speak. With every movement a loud wet squelch could be heard. Your head started to spin with all the pleasure you had felt within the last hour.

You had completely forgotten what you were going to say to him as you lost the ability to speak long ago but it’s like he knew what you were going to say. “After this just one more ok princess?” You nodded weakly, his fingers made you lose all strength you had ever had. Each time he moved his fingers in and out of you, another orgasm threatened to spill out of you. 

You squeezed him tight again as you came, unable to count how many times this has happened. As you panted heavily he rolled over next to you leaning against the headboard of the bed, giving you some time to breathe. “Can you give me one more y/n?” You lazily nodded, however you wanted to return the favor before that.

You reached for his pants and sluggishly struggled a couple times to take them off due to your shaking hands. He smiled at your desperation and helped you by quickly unbuttoning them and pulling them and his boxers off, throwing them somewhere with the rest of the rest of the disregarded clothes. He looked absolutely tasty only in his button up and with his fanged smile. Looking at his dick you practically drooling as you grabbed it. Quickly you shuffled to be in between his legs and licked the precum off his tip. He let out a groan as you sucked it and slowly started to bob your head up and down his length. 

Whatever didn’t fit into your mouth was in your hand, which was moving in unison with your head. He thought just giving you pleasure and hearing you moan was enough, but this was his own personal heaven. He held the hair falling into your face back as he let out more delicious sounds. Praises fell from his lips like a prayer giving you an incentive to quicken your pace. 

Even though this was mostly for him you deeply enjoyed it as well. You loved hearing all the sounds and praises he let slip out from his soft lips. You also loved that now he was falling apart just as you had not too long ago. It was the confidence boost you needed to deep throat him and swallow around him. He pulled you up by the hair making you let out a moan as his nut landed on your face.

“Sorry princess, you just look so pretty with it on your face.” He said between pants. You swiped your thumb over the slit to gather some cum as he reached into his side drawer to grab a condom, making a small groan come out from his mouth. He looked back to see you eating what you had collected on your finger and a heat spread across his body.

You watched with careful eyes as he ripped the condom package open and slid it onto his dick. He leaned to give you a quick kiss one last time before pulling you from out between his legs. You positioned yourself gripping on his shoulders  and slowly lowered yourself onto him, wincing in pain as you slowly sank down. He had done his best to stretch you out with everything before but, his dick was bigger than his fingers. You buried your face into his chest, smearing his cum onto his shirt, you felt so full.

You let out a breath and gave him a signal to start moving. He thrusted upwards into you as he held your hips tightly to keep you somewhat still. He didn’t waste any time quicking speeding his pace. “God y/n, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do this.” He moaned out. All you could do was reply with a muffled moan, that wasn’t muffled just quite enough and he could still clearly hear and he thanked Irene he could.

Every thrust into you he could feel your boobs bounce against him which egged him on more. He had fucked all the sense out of you and you let him use you as essentially a sex toy. All you could think of and say in the moment was him and his name. You had unbuttoned, or better described as ripped off the first couple of buttons on his shirt to feel more of his warmth. You melted under every single one of his touches. 

The constant drag of him against your walls was almost too much for you to handle. He overwhelmed all your senses, you felt him all over, his cologne hit your nose every once in a while, all you could hear or think of was him,  and the taste of him lingering on your tongue. At this point he was slamming into you and every slam would release a loud moan from the both of you. The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping and the  sounds of sex that you would definitely hear and make pretty obvious what was going on if you stood outside the door.

A multitude of orgasms had hit you but you just couldn’t get enough. Everytime he would even consider slowing down you begged him not to. The sense of time or space had long been gone for you two. Everything blurred together and the only thing keeping you grounded was the constant pleasure running through Your veins. Your head began spinning again from pleasure and you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore, folding and putting all your weight against him. “Just one more ok y/n?” He said in a smooth, chocolatey voice that you just couldn’t resist and let out a sound in agreement. 

He switched positions once again to have you lay under him after noticing how weak you were. He began to move again and a few quick thrusts almost sent you over the edge again, however he noticed this and began his sick trick of trying to delay the inevitable. For every few quick thrust were many agonizingly slow ones to string you along a little longer. He couldn’t help it. You looked so beautiful underneath him and he never wanted the moment to end. The way the makeup you put on much earlier in the night was smudged and mixed with his, the hickeys and bite marks on your neck, the way you called out his name, the face you made as you came,  and your stupid little dress he couldn’t believe he hadn’t ripped off you the moment you were alone were all too captivating to him. It could, and would, never get enough of it.

“Lauranceee, please stop teasing” You whined out, this time the edging felt like death. Everytime your sweet release was placed in front of you it was swiftly stolen away. You couldn’t handle anymore of this. “Only if you beg princess.” He said between pants, this is something he desperately wanted to hear. You honestly didn’t know if your brain could process doing that, being so blank.

“Please Laurance please I’ll be a good girl, just please let me cum.” You begged like your life depended on it. He let out a soft sigh and sped up, almost slamming into you once again. His olive skin glistened under the soft light illuminating from a smaller desk lamp next to his bed. You both wished the moment could last forever, it felt like a little secret you two shared underneath the moonlight hidden away from everyone else.

“Can I cum?” You asked desperately, tightly closing your eyes as he hummed in approval. This one was the most intense one out of all of them. You could wear your vision went white as he fucked you through your orgasm and you felt a warm liquid seep into your body. Tears streamed down your cheeks from the overwhelming pleasure running through your body. You never thought you would come down from it, of course though you did. 

He pulled out of you and tied up the condom, throwing it into a nearby trash can. Your legs felt so heavy you didn’t think you would be able to move them for the next couple days. “Was I the vampire you've been dreaming of?" He asked panting next to you. Not realizing what he said you nodded in agreement, too out of it for the words to really set in.

           You closed your eyes and reached out next to you for him, noticing that he got up. Your eyes slowly opened to see him in his closet grabbing a towel, noticing he had almost magically put on a fresh pair of boxers. He walked back over to you and started to take off your dress to clean you up. He wiped everywhere as clean as he could get it. His words sunk in and embarrassment spread over your body. “Wait Laurance, how did you know about that?” He feigned a look of innocence.

“Know about what?” You could tell he was obviously lying with that tone of voice. “About the vampires..How did you know I wanted to be with a vampire tonight?” He shrugs, smiling as he took out his fake teeth. “A little birdie told me.” He said in a teasing tone. You knew exactly who he was talking about, Travis. You weren’t complaining but questioned why they had planned this. If he had just told you his feelings you would’ve accepted his feelings, Aphmau wasn’t lying when she said he was a great guy.

He squatted next to the bed to be eye level with you.“Alright I’m done teasing, Y/n I have two questions for you. One, do you want to put back on the dress or wear something more comfortable?” You chose the second option as the dress was too short and tight to wear comfortably after everything you had done tonight. “Two, do you want to go home or stay here?” You softly scoffed, even though you did want to see him all cozy in your small apartment and lay in your much bigger bed, you probably couldn’t. Your body, mostly your legs, felt so heavy and you were absolutely exhausted. You told him pretty much everything you just thought.

“Well I could and would get you back home if you really wanted to.” As much as you would love to have that you would just rather stay here and you shook your head no. He got up and got you both a pair of his pajama pants as well as a shirt. “Do you want to borrow underwear too? I think yours are a little bit of a mess right now.” He said with a slight laugh, turning to face you. You nodded and he came back to help you get dressed.

He helped you sit up and slip everything on, it all smelled like him leaving an amazing aroma around you. He settled into the bed next to you, up until now you didn’t realize how tight of a squeeze it was. You rested your head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. You guys looked like a couple and you loved it, which sparked a thought into your head.

“Laurance, tonight was amazing and I was just wondering if we could actually start going out?” He left out a warm laugh as he hummed in agreement. “You know usually you're supposed to do that before you have sex.” You giggled as you drifted off into sleep.

You woke as you heard the sound of someone trying to get into the room. You looked at the clock on the nightstand to see it read 3:30am. Assuming it was just someone from the party that was still going on outside looking for a room you tried to fall back asleep on Laurance. Until they were persistently jangling at the doorknob. You gently shook your now boyfriend awake. “Honey there’s someone trying to get in.” The pet name had just slipped out your mouth, it was a happy accident.

He slowly awoke and cupped your face, giving you a quick peck on the lips“Honey? I like it, but who would even..” He glanced at the clock before panic sprung onto his face. He jumped up from the bed and quickly began cleaning up the clothes and hiding them away. You heard an aggravated sigh from the other side of the door before a bang against the door jolted you up right. “Laurance if you don’t let me in I swear to Irene.”

You recognized that voice, it was Laurance’s roommate Garroth. Laurance ran to unlock and open the door greeting him with a smile. Garroth pushed past him to grab a few things. He quickly greeted you before turning to Laurance. “No offense to you two but I am not sleeping in here tonight.” He said and left as quickly as he came closing the door behind him. The dots connected together in your head as you remembered their earlier conversation.

Laurance crawled back into bed with you and cuddled back up. His arms made you feel safe again and his warmth was a warm welcome compared to the cold air that filled the room. However, this time you couldn’t fall back to sleep as easily as he did. Your heart was beating hard enough it rang in your ears. You were too delusional to realize but you were cuddling with a very attractive man.

You looked up at him and all you could think of was how his tongue had split you open hours earlier. You began to squirm thinking about the memories, trying to get them out of your head. This led to him waking up again, you apologized as he sat up. “You ok y/n?” He sounded very worried about you. You blushed and couldn’t meet his eyes. “Just couldn’t sleep, that’s all.”

“Why? Can’t stop thinking about me? Princess I’m right here no need to imagine.” He pulled you into a kiss and put his hands on your thighs, he just couldn’t get enough of you. You pulled away knowing if you let it go on any longer you wouldn’t get any sleep all night and your body was still affected by your prior actions. “I think we should head to bed. We can do whatever my imagination comes up with tomorrow, I’m not going anywhere.”

He sighed in agreement as he laid back down as he held you tight. After some sleepy play fighting, you entangled your legs together having one over the other. He held your face and looked at you in such a loving way you didn’t know was possible and gave you one last kiss before you drifted off into sleep.

[sirspazingtonthefourth]

Game Day

Summary: You go to check out the commotion by you're university's stadium and get roped into going to the game. 4.7k, mostly just fluff, college au, Bakugo x Reader

A/N: Recently got to college and was still unfamiliar with game day schedules. Sorta a mix between me wanting to go to a game and me being confused why there was a mob outside the stadium a couple weeks ago. Not proofread, sorry.

Content warnings: Cursing, depiction of a panic attack

You had never seen so many people from this far away. You’d been part of crowds before, sure. But something about seeing the mass of your school colors outside the stadium, fully three blocks away, unsettled you a little. You knew it was game season, but most of those happened in the evening.

The studious part of you, the part that knew you had to finish taking notes on your biology textbook, told you to ignore the phenomenon. There was probably a good explanation, and if something was wrong someone would show up soon to take care of it. The other part, the ever curious part, demanded you investigate, find out what could cause such a stir. You cursed yourself as you stood from your desk, slipped on your shoes, grabbed your wallet, and left your dorm.

You walked out of your dorm building on a mission: find out what was going on at the stadium. It was maybe a ten minute walk if you were dragging your feet, and you were too interested to do that. You made it in six minutes flat, trying to make out what was going on based on the chatter around you. You couldn’t make any of it out, all the voices blending into one massive cacophony. You started trying to push your way through the crowd.

“Oi, asshole! Wait your turn, we’ll get in soon enough,” you heard someone call right before something tugged on the collar of your shirt strong enough that you stumbled back a few steps. You turned to glare at whoever had decided to touch you, only to be met with burning red eyes.

The red eyes belonged to none other than Bakugo Katsuki, an asshole you shared biology with. Your professor had assigned him to your group, but didn’t talk to each other. The only reason you knew his name is because of the team roster your professor had put out. He seemed to think he was better than everyone, and you stayed away from him because you didn’t agree.

You were surprised to see him here, honestly, since you never saw him just walking around campus. Anytime you saw him outside of class he was either studying or helping someone else study. You didn’t even see him in the dining hall.

“Uh… what?” you shouted above the din. He rolled his eyes, a deepening frown on his face. A few stray blond hairs fell into his face, and he brushed them out of the way.

“Wait. Your damn. Turn. We aren’t going to get in any sooner if you’re at the front of the line.”

“Line for what? And you call this a line?” the blond narrowed his eyes, lip curling in a sneer.

“The line for the game, dumbass. And yes, this is a line!”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“You must not have been to many games, then. Fucking amateur.” You glared back at the blond. You hated that he seemed to think he could just be rude to anybody.

“Yeah, I’m an amateur! I don’t even go to the games, I just got curious what the fuss was over here. Enjoy… whatever game you’re here to see,” you said, waving a hand about to indicate that you neither knew nor cared what was going to be happening. You had done what you came here to do, and now your homework was calling your name.

But Bakugo didn’t seem to be done with you. He grabbed your arm as you turned to walk away, and you jerked at the contact. It wasn’t enough to break his hold, and he spun you back around to face him. He seemed more pissed about you leaving than about you supposedly cutting in the mob that apparently passed for a line.

“You haven’t been to the games?” If looks could kill, you’d have been being scraped off the pavement with a spatula right about now.

“No? I have more important things to be doing. Besides, don’t really wanna go anyways.” You muttered the last part, a little embarrassed to admit it. Crowds weren’t your scene. You didn’t like the idea of being so close to so many people. Of being touched by so many people.

“Anyway, I’m leaving now, so-”

“The hell you are!” Bakugo held on a little tighter, and you tried to glare him down. Key word: tried. Surprisingly enough, having eyes like embers was very effective when you were having a staring contest. You looked away a lot faster than you wanted.

“And why is that?”

“You’re already here. Might as well stay and see the game.”

“I told you, I don’t want to. Besides, I have homework I still need to get done.” You were getting a little frantic, trying to pull your arm away from him even as you did your best to mask the discomfort in your voice. “A-and I don’t even have tickets, and I’m still in pajamas because it’s a Saturday and I wasn’t planning on being in public and-”

“And I don’t care. You’re here, you’re going, end of discussion.”

“Please don’t make me,” you begged, turning your head around to see the crowd around you. You didn’t try to hide the fear, hoping he would take mercy on you. It had taken too much out of you to push through the crowd to begin with, and it had only gotten bigger. You didn’t think you could get out now even if he let you go, but maybe you could. You clung to that maybe like a lifeline.

Bakugo, for his part, seemed to take notice of your little predicament. Better than you did, in fact. Maybe it was the tight grip on your wrist, his fingers digging into your pulse point to let him know you weren’t okay. Maybe it was how your head had begun whipping around, as if trying to keep tabs on every single person in the crowd.

He himself started to glance around, looking for someone. When he spotted the telltale red, spiky hair, he called out.

“Oi! Kirishima! Over here!” The redhead turned, a bright smile on his face as he seemed to effortlessly move through the crowd.

“Hey, Bakugo! What’s- oh.” Kirishima noticed you more than you really noticed him. You were too busy trying to shrink in on yourself to notice him. You were flinching at every brush of a sleeve against your arm, apologizing as you seemed intent on shrinking into yourself like a dying star.

“Crowd’s too big behind us. Can you help me clear a path inside?” Bakugo asked, and Kirishima was quick to nod, letting out a sharp whistle that sounded about the general din of the crowd of sports fans.

“Alright, I need everyone to clear a path to the stadium real quick!”

A few other voices sounded, echoing the call for a path. Three people in particular jumped in to help clear a path, and you didn’t have the energy to fight being led towards the big stadium.

You were almost stopped at the front door, arguably where people were pressed together the tightest, by the person keeping everyone from entering. You didn’t know what to call him, you thought. A bouncer? Door guard? Random guy?

“Woah, buddy, I know you guys are part of the student section, but you can’t head in there yet.”

“Please, sir, it’s a bit of an emergency,” Kirishiima explained, gesturing to you. You had your eyes squeezed shut, aware you were panicking and trying to stop it.

“Yeah, sure. You can wait like-”

“If you don’t let us through that door in the next five seconds, so help me god, I will-”

“Woah, Bakugo, easy. Come on, let’s go somewhere else.” The redhead said, walking away from the door guard. The crowd parted for him, leaving a wake big enough for you and Bakugo to follow in without being touched.

After a little more wading through the crowd, Kirishima seemed to find what he was looking for. He pulled on a small part of the chain link fence, shifting it just enough for someone to crawl under. Bakugo nodded in thanks to the bigger man and crawled under, dragging you along.

Once inside the stadium fence, he pulled you inside through a nearby maintenance door. From there he navigated you towards one of the main halls. They weren’t lit well, but you could hear how they echoed. There must have been really high ceilings.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. There’s no one around. Look- hey, look at me,” he said, and your eyes snapped to his. They were still intense, emitting the same waves of heat as the embers of a long-tended fire. You tried to look away, but he put his hands to your face, blocking out everything from your view but those eyes.

“None of that. Look at me. You’re fine. No one’s here. Breathe.” You took a shaky breath. Then another. And another, trying to match up with the rhythm of his breath as it echoed through the vast, empty hall.

“Good, you’re doing good,” he said, taking his hands from your face and grabbing your upper arm. “There’s a water fountain nearby. I’m going to take you there, and you’re going to drink, got it?” You nodded, breathing a little more evenly but not willing to talk just yet.

The water did wonders for you. It was cold, unlike the pressing heat of the crowd and your classmate. It grounded you, and when you finally came up for air you could feel that your heart was no longer trying to jump out of your chest. It wasn’t calmed, but it was more manageable.

“Thank you,” you whispered, afraid of how loud the echo would be. You were already jumpy, you didn’t need to make a fool of yourself for startling at your own voice.

“Don’t mention it,” Bakugo said at full volume. It bounced around in the hall, and you flinched at how suddenly it had contrasted with the airy silence that only a wide open space could have. He seemed to not notice.

“Come on. Now that you’re done waterboarding yourself, we’re gonna get you a shirt. Can’t have you at the game in that,” he said with disdain, as if you had intentionally worn your old NASA t-shirt from Target and comfy blue and purple leggings just to upset him.

“But I’m already in a shirt,” you protested. He began walking and, not wanting to be lost when the crowd inevitably came through for the game, you followed him.

“Yeah, but I ain’t letting you wear that shit to the game. It’s disrespectful.” You glared at him.

“I told you, I don’t wanna go.”

“Well it’s go to the game or try and fight your way through the crowd again, and something tells me you don’t have it in you to do that right now. So, we’re getting you a shirt at the very least, you’re gonna change, and we’ll head to the stands so we aren’t pushing through everyone.”

He was right about you not wanting to push through the crowd. You thought you might actually have a heart attack if you tried that again.

“Won’t we get in trouble for being back here? That guy made it pretty clear that no one’s supposed to get in until he gives the go ahead.” Bakugo grumbled ahead of you, and you heard a few choice curses being thrown at the door guy.

“That bastard’s just trying to prove he’s got some kind of power he doesn’t have. Besides, I know the people back here. I’m one of the leaders of the student section, they aren’t exactly gonna go tatling to that prick,” he said. There was a light a few corridors down. It was the only hallway illuminated at all.

“You? Leading the student section?” he huffed, glaring back at you.

“What? Think I can’t?”

“You just… don’t really seem the type,” you said, giving a lopsided smile. He rolled his eyes and looked back ahead of him.

“Yeah, well, I’m not. Hair-for-brains managed to rope me into it, and I’m not about to back out now.” You were getting closer, and saw a stall built into the brick of the building near where the hall emptied into the main room.

“Hair-for-brains? That a, uh… an enemy of yours?”

“What? No. He’s the guy with the red hair, held the fence so we could get inside? Bastard’s been glued to my side since high school, can’t get rid of him.” You finally neared the stall enough to reasonably talk with the person you saw inside, a woman about your age with short purple hair and gauged ears. She was chewing gum and scrolling through her phone, and her shirt was black with a blue guitar on it.

“Oi, Earlobes. Need a shirt,” he said, hooking a thumb at you walking behind him.

“That’s not my name, Bakugo,” she said, glancing up at him. Her eyes settled on you after a second, she tucked her phone in her back pocket. “Who’s this?”

“They’re with me. They’re here for the game, but they need a shirt.” The girl nodded beckoning you forward but continuing to talk to Bakugo.

“I know they’re with you, what’s their name?” He huffed in annoyance instead of answering. It made sense that he didn’t know you, you barely knew him after all.

“Their name’s L/N Y/N, now will you just get them a damn-”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t lose your head,” she said. “What’s your size?”

“Uh, s/s. But, I left my wallet, I don’t have a way to pay for it-”

“Hey, don’t worry. We can just chalk it up to costs of running the student section, right, Bakugo? Anyway, I’m Jiro. It’s nice to meet you,” she said, smiling as she turned to look through the small booth for the right size. She gave a little “aha!” when she found it.

“Feel free to stop by if you need anything else. Enjoy the game,” she said.

“Thanks, you too!” you said. Bakugo grabbed you by the arm again and started dragging you towards the bathrooms.

“Come on idiot, you need to get changed.”

You sat in the empty stands with Bakugo, listening to the crowd outside. They’d come in, soon, and you’d be swarmed, but you would be ready for it. You would be trapped, but you would know it was coming.

“So, have you ever been here?” You turned to him to see him already looking right at you. “In the stands, I mean. I know everyone gets taken to the stadium that first day for the stupid start of the year tradition.” You shook your head.

“No, I haven’t. It’s a nice view, though. Very… high up?” You hadn’t been in a real stadium before. Sure, there were a few times you’d been in the stands at your high school but they weren’t very tall and you hadn’t really thought to remark on them at all. Bakugo seemed to understand though, letting out a small chuckle.

“I guess it is, yeah. Still, we’re pretty low compared to other spots. You’ll be able to see the game better. Gotta make sure you have a good seat for your first game.” You two just looked at each other for a minute, counting down until everyone would swarm the stadium and find their seats and begin cheering and chanting.

“I’m Katsuki, by the way,” he said suddenly. “I don’t think I ever told you my name.”

“I knew your name,” you said quickly. “We’re in the same biology group, remember?” He blinked, as if he was surprised you remembered.

“Yeah, we are. Sorry, I just thought-”

“That some random stranger knew my name?” He looked away, glaring out onto the field as if he was trying to light the grass on fire with just his eyes.

“Sooo…” you said, grasping for a conversation topic. “You’re in the student section.”

“Not just in it,” he scoffed, turning back to you with a shit eating grin. “I’m second in command.”

“Not bad for a freshman,” you said, elbowing him. He elbowed you back.

“Don’t say that like you aren’t one, idiot.” You shoved him in retaliation, and it turned into an all out war, the both of you shoving each other in the stands. You were laughing at the absurdity of it. You were a freshman in college and here you were, rough housing with practically a stranger.

You heard the sound of people starting to flood the stadium. It distracted you from holding your base, and Katsuki shoved the both of you right off of your seats.

“Ha! I win!” he declared from atop you. You rolled your eyes, trying to push him off of you.

“I was distracted, it doesn’t count! And come on, people are coming. We don’t want to lose our seats.” But he stayed put, his face getting red. “Uh, earth to Katsuki? Can you let me up? We’re going to lose our seats otherwise.” He seemed to snap back to himself as he did, quickly pushing himself off of you and helping you stand, trying to avoid looking at you the whole time, which seemed odd. You took your seats as everyone started pouring in.

Katsuki’s friends found you both in the front row and sat with you. You recognized them as the people who had helped you move through the crowd. The redhead you remembered as Kirishima, the bright blond with a black streak dyed into his hair was Kaminari, and the one with black hair was Sero. Jiro came and joined you all, too, bringing a girl with bright pink hair who said her name was Mina. She was by far the most excited to meet you, immediately going in for a hug before you could stop her.

You spent the game with the whole group bumping into you every so often, but you found you didn’t care as much as normal. You were jumping up when everyone else was, screaming when everyone else was, being excited when everyone else was. It made the weird ‘ick’ feeling you got when people touched you diminish. It was still there, but there were more important things to worry about.

Katsuki taught you the chants, usually right before he led the rest of the crowd in them, so you could join in more. You almost fell over once, jumping up when a goal was scored. Katsuki was the one to catch you, pulling you back upright and returning to cheering after making certain you were alright.

You walked out of the stadium smiling and laughing. You were buzzing with energy. You knew some of it was the shaky, panicky kind from being in such close proximity to so many people, but most of it was excitement. You’d been a part of a crowd, instead of just being in one. You’d been able to channel the adrenaline rush you got when being touched into something more constructive than shying away and panicking.

“Stupid, shitty ass team. Didn’t even win. The fuck do they do all that training for if they aren’t going to take the game seriously?” Katsuki grumbled next to you.

“Hey, they took that game plenty seriously, Bakubro,” Kirishima said to try and cheer him up.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Lighten up, Bakugo. They lost by a single point, and that was only because the ref made a fake call to open the chance for a field goal,” Mina offered, decidedly avoiding the nickname Kirishima had used.

“Wasn’t that in overtime, too? Feel like they wouldn’t have let that happen if they weren’t taking the game seriously.” You had very little understanding of sports in general, but you understood the concept of overtime enough to recognize it. You didn’t know enough to know if the penalty the ref called in the last minute had been valid or not.

Regardless, Katsuki just grumbled.

“Doesn’t make it any better. Pinky’s right, the ref made a shit call. We should’ve won at that point.” You rolled your eyes and elbowed him.

“Well there’s nothing we can do about it, Katsuki. We lost, that stuff happens. We’ll do better next time,” you tried to reassure him. To your surprise, he flinched. Everyone turned to look at you as if you’d sprouted a second head.

“Did you just call him…” Kaminari looked around, as if someone would get him for what he was about to say, then leaned in to whisper to you, “...the ‘K’ word?”

“Katsuki? Yeah? That’s his name, right?” You turned to him to double check, but Katsuki refused to meet your eyes.

“Well, we hope to see you at the next game, Y/N!” Jiro said, slowly walking away while trying her best to hide a smile.

“Yeah, you too. Hope to see you before then, too,” you said with a confused smile. Why was she acting weird?

“You know, we’ve got a study group that meets Wednesday nights at the library, if you want to come! Blasty over there runs it,” Kaminari chimed in.

“You wouldn’t think it, but he’s a strangely good teacher! He’s the only reason I passed my first chem test,” Mina said, shooting a playful grin to the blond walking on your left.

“What’s that supposed to mean, dumbass?”

“Relax, Bakugo. She’s right, you don’t seem like the mentoring type,” Kirishima said, resting a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder. He was also fighting back a smile. Well, a bigger smile than he was already wearing.

“You are a bit loud and angry for a teacher, I’ll be honest,” Kaminari piped in, earning a death glare from the blond.

“Right, that’s our cue to go,” Sero said with a clap, grabbing Kaminari’s shoulder and starting to walk backwards. “Y/N, it was nice to meet you, if you want to join the study group we meet at 6 on the second floor of the library. It’s Mina’s turn to bring snacks, so we’ll be fueled for it. Anyway, see ya!” He turned around and sprinted off before Katsuki could chase after him and Kaminari.

“What’s up with them?” You asked.

“Oh, Bakugo’s known to try and strangle Kaminari. Those two are best friends and Kami doesn’t always know when not to say things, ADHD and all, so it falls to Sero to keep him alive when he says stupid things,” Kirishima explained.

“Anyway, Mina, you wanna go try that gyro place that just opened?” Kirishima said, the mischievous smile he’d been holding back finally breaking through

“Do I ever! Let’s go, Kiri. Have fun, you two!” And with several backwards glances and titters, Kirishima and Mina ran off.

“Well, they all seemed in a hurry to leave,” you said, rubbing your arm. It had been right after you called Katsuki by his name, too. They’d made a deal of it, before they all ran away.

“Did… Did I say something?” you asked the blonde, still walking next to you towards your dorm.

“No, those idiots just don’t know how to leave.”

“Oh. I just… nevermind.” You were the one refusing to meet his eyes now, and you could feel them boring into your temple as you looked around the street.

“I don’t let them call me by my name. That’s why the idiots got all weird.”

“Would you prefer if I don’t-”

“I told you to call me Katsuki, it’s fine,” he said, cheeks getting pink again.

You both walked together quietly for another block. It was a warm evening in mid September, and you relished in the warmth that rose from the ground. You looked up through the trees to see what color the sky was painted this time, just to say you were doing something. It was usually a gorgeous red, but sometimes it was a pink or an orange. That was the best part of your dorm: you could see the sunsets.

“You said you had homework to do?”

“Hm?” Katsuki kept looking at you as you pulled your eyes from the sky, and you froze for half a second. You’d recognized on some level that he was pretty, with his spiky blond hair and his seemingly constantly scowling face and his ember eyes. But something about the golden hour lighting made you realize he was pretty. You quickly looked away before he could see the blush on your face.

“Earlier, you said you still had homework to do. What was it for?”

“Oh, I’ve got to finish getting through this week's biology chapter. It’s taking a bit longer than I planned, but-”

“I can help. If you want me to.” You blinked at him, a little surprised that he would offer.

“It’s fine. I’m sure you’ve got your own homework, and I can’t ask you to do that anyway.”

“Unlike some people,” he said, giving you a playful glare, “I actually make sure I have my shit done before I go to a game.”

“Damn, alright.” You walked a few more paces in silence. “I mean… if you’re offering, I’d appreciate the help,” you admitted, refusing to look at him in the golden hour light. You had to keep it together, dammit.

“Well, I am. Hurry up, the sooner we get back the sooner we can be studying. We doing it in your room?

“Uh, sure, I guess,” you said, trying not to think too far into that.

“Cool. You’re roommate know?”

“Oh, I don’t have a roommate. They never showed up,” you said, maybe a little too quickly. Katsuki just glanced at you in his periphery, refusing to look at him, and nodded. You didn’t see his little smile.

By the time you’d finished getting through the chapter with Katsuki it was well into the night. He lived in a dorm several blocks away, and you weren’t about to let him walk that far in the dark, safe campus or not.

“Well, if you’re going to hold me hostage here, you wanna watch something?”

“Sure. Any suggestions?” he thought for a moment, before gesturing you to hand him your laptop. You did, and he pulled up the campus movie website and picked something before collapsing on the empty bed in the room. You clambered up into your bed to get the one blanket big enough for two people and hopped down. Once you were on the bed with him, you quickly arranged the blanket so you two both had some and settled in to watch the movie.

Halfway through, Katsuki felt something slump against him. He looked down to see you, leaning against his shoulder. You were out cold, and right as the movie was getting to the good part. He sighed, pausing the movie and closing the laptop. He set it off to one side and pulled out his phone to check the group chat.

He’d known it’d blow up the second he was left alone with you, so he’d set it to silent earlier, but now he could look through all the messages. It was all on the same topic, and the idiots were still talking. Kaminari was the first person to notice he was online.

“Dude! That’s the person you’ve been talking about? The one from bio?” he sent. Katsuki rolled his eyes, typing back quickly before the others swarmed him with questions.

“Yes, that was them. No, I’m not telling you morons anything. I’m going to bed.” He was about to put his phone down when one last notification banner came down from his private chat with Kirishima.

“So, how’d it go? Did the studying idea work?” Katsuki glanced down at you, sleeping on his shoulder. The game and studying combination must have really exhausted you if you passed out so easily and didn’t notice that you were leaning on him. It was cute.

“Worked great. Thanks for the idea, Red.”

“Knew it! Figured it must’ve gone well when you didn’t come back to the dorm.”

“Whatever, dumbass. Night.”

He tossed his phone next to your laptop and leaned back into the wall. It wasn’t the most comfortable sleeping position, but he knew if he moved you would wake up. So he took a breath and closed his eyes for the night, heart fluttering at the idea of being there first thing in the morning to talk to you again.

[girlboybug]

Crush

"he looks like he works with his hands, and smells like marlboro reds."

what's playing 🎧: crush by ethel cain

pairing : bfd!joel x reader (no outbreak au)

word count : 14k (oops)

*unedited*

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUT, age gap, heavy petting, grinding, fingering, handjobs, references to m!masturbation, unprotected sex, creampies, light dirty talk, riding, soft dom!joel, but also switch coded joel if u squint, slight angst kinda sorta

TRIGGER WARNINGS : lowkey dubcon just bc of the power imbalance that comes with the age gap but everything is consensual as always. joel knew the reader when they were 4, 16 years have passed so now they're 20! brief mentions of messy home life and brief descriptions of verbal sexual harassment

A/N : i've been dying to write bfd!joel, and when i heard crush i knew what i had to do lolol. so sorry this took ages, it wasn't supposed to be this long but here we are lol. i hope you guys enjoy <3 comments really motivate me, so if you liked it plz lmk in the comments :3

your eyes continually drift over to the time glowing in the corner of the screen on your register, wondering when joel was supposed to swing by. you pray that he hasn’t forgotten his promise to your dad of checking out your air conditioner to see what needs to be repaired.

the tiny fan that sits beside your half drinken water bottle does little to nothing, and it only adds insult to injury. 

you think back to last night at dinner, in your air conditioned home, about the ‘exciting’ news your dad had to share. he rattled on about how he ran into an old college buddy and family friend, joel miller down at the pro bass shop—and of course it was at the pro bass shop. 

after a few jogs of your slightly depleting memory, you finally, somewhat, remembered a face to the name. you vaguely joined in with your parents’ reminiscing of how he used to come over with his little girl sarah for play dates, and occasionally babysitting you when your parents went out on their date nights. 

they also were quick to tease you about your little crush on him, one you swear you can’t remember, which in your defense, you really don’t, and desperate to change the subject, you asked about his wife, which only worsened the allegations of your crush on him. 

“goin through a divorce, it’s actually why he moved back here, but i’m sure you’re happy to hear that,” your dad snickered with a little nudge, and you wanted to bury your face in the steaming mashed potatoes on your plate. 

once you managed to wrangle them out of the conversation of your alleged feelings towards the man you barely remembered, it was briefly mentioned that he’d be coming by today to check out your broken down air conditioner at the store your parents owned and operated. 

you’re the cashier there, unwillingly of course, but it helps pay for your very expensive books you need for your classes, so it’s not a total issue. however, as you blanky look around the empty sweltering convenience store, you honestly consider closing up early and ubering home to soak in a nice, cold shower. 

the bell that hangs from the door rings at the front entrance, but you’re too tired and worn down by the heat to say your usual greeting, instead deciding to just remain slumped in your small wooden stool, aimlessly trying to angle your mini fan at the most optimal point of your face. 

your peripheral view catches a navy blue hued shirt, and your head lifts upwards to get a better look in case it’s a customer. 

your eyes fall onto an older man smiling down at you, crossed arms bulging from behind his short sleeves. something bubbles in the very pit of your stomach. “mr. miller?” you ask, slightly unsure, but he nods, chuckling when his arms drop to his sides. “heya hun, it’s been awhile, how are you?” he leans in for a hug, and you suddenly don’t feel the sweat that’s been stuck to your skin for the past three hours as you rise to your feet and off the stool to meet his arms that come around your waist. you manage to stutter a response of, “i’m good, and you?” 

“doin’ alright,” he says through a grin– oh god, his grin is so pretty, you think you almost see a cartoonish sparkle glint in his teeth from the fluorescent lighting.

your stomach bubbles up the more you take him in, and oh no. the worst possible thing just came to fruition.

your parents were actually right. 

he pulls back, hands still on the backs of your arms as he takes a moment to really look at you. “you’re so grown up now honey, i remember when you were just this big,” he holds a hand just below his hip and you join in his light laughter, feeling those fluttery feelings you felt all those years ago rush to your chest and tummy like a dormant volcano erupting. 

he hasn’t aged a bit, maybe a few more wrinkles here and there, and the crows feet beside his eyes deepen more now when he smiles, along with the grays that take the place of where some strands of brown used to be. but he’s just as beautiful as your fuzzy memories, if not more. 

“y-you look exactly the same,” you chuckle nervously, trying to not give in to the magnetic pull tempting your eyes in the direction of his chest and abdomen. he grows a little bashful, glancing away for a moment before he replies, a little pinker in the cheeks than before. “i definitely don’t weigh the same, sweetheart,” he sighs playfully, patting his stomach. 

you hear the traces of slight disappointment in his words and it saddens you. you shake your head, feeling even warmer under the heavy feeling from his eyes blanketing over you while you frown ever so slightly. “i think you look great.” you say truthfully, feeling nervous as soon as the words part from you, worried he might think you’re too forward, but instead he smiles again, looking down at his boots. 

“you’re too kind.” he grins, looking back up at you, his fingers running along the side of his beard. you feel flushed, glancing away from his smiles. 

“goddamn, it is hot in here,” he pinches at his shirt, pulling it back and forth to get a slight breeze. you nod vigorously, plopping back into your stool, fanning yourself once more. “i can show you were the ac’s at,” you offer, and he agrees. 

you guide him to the useless machine, eyeing it down with an irritated look, as if it were alive, and purposefully broken down to spite you. 

he walks over to it, bending down to its level and you balance on your heels awkwardly, overthinking on if it’s the correct social etiquette to say anything right now. 

“hmm, lemme get my belt from the truck, i’ll be back hun,” he nods at you, sending you a smile before he disappears out the store and back to his truck. 

when you’re sure he’s out of view, you curl in on yourself, holding your face and opening your mouth to let out a silent scream. 

all it took was seeing him for two seconds, for a crush you didn’t even remember existed until last night to come back immediately. 

when he returns, he sends you a smile before he goes right to work, setting up shop beside the air conditioner, toolbelt wrapped around the alluring circumference of his waist. 

you imagine what it’d be like if it were your hands instead of the worn down leather that envelops him, how his skin would feel in your palms and jesus, you are being so creepy right now. 

he talks while he works, listing about all the things wrong with the ac, jokingly calling your dad a cheapskate for not being willing enough to upgrade to a functioning one that wasn’t manufactured before you were born. and of course, you laugh, leaning against a counter, hoping he just so happens to turn to the side to spare you a glance and notice that you look effortlessly sexy. 

he mainly keeps his focus on the task at hand but, you keep hoping he turns to look over at you at some point. 

no customers have come in yet, and for once you are eternally grateful for a slow day. 

your eyes trail from his biceps, down to his strong forearms, they look safe, secure, like they could hold you and keep you locked in, and his hands…god his hands. 

they’re long, and big. his wide palms that splay across the side of the ac make the machine somehow look small in comparison. his fingers are so skillful, prodding and working at the screws and confusing bits you didn’t even know were a part of the contraption — but honestly the mechanisms of the ac are not what you care about right now. 

you care about how it would feel if it were your sides, your hips, being touched and caressed instead of the machine, and how his big strong hands could hold onto them, grip them, squeeze them tight like a real man would. 

you notice the way he swipes his forearm across his forehead, clearing away the sweat that beads over the skin, feeling bad that he’s doing so much manual labor in such terrible conditions. 

you depart from your shared space for a moment, padding towards the refrigerators stocked full of drinks. 

you return to him, tapping his shoulder and smiling brightly when he looks at you, eyes darting down to the cold root beer in your hands. “for you. least i can offer while you work,” you beam and he chuckles, switching some weight onto his left foot, his hand resting on his hip when he graciously takes the bottle from you. 

“well thank you hun,” he tips his head at you, unscrewing the cap and taking a swig. 

you watch the way his lips curl around the rim, how his hand just about swallows the entire bottle and the way his adam’s apple bobs while he drinks. you have to fight back the urge to squeeze your thighs together to alleviate the tingly feeling spreading inside you. 

“how’d you remember i like root beer?” he asks, eyes peering at you with a warm surprise, his fingers twisting the screwdriver into the side of the ac. 

you hop up onto the counter beside him, swinging your legs while you shrug. “just randomly came to mind i guess,” he turns to look at you, taking note of the way his eyes land on your bare legs first before they flicker back up to your eyes. you feel a little cocky about that. 

“always were a helpful girl,” he says, and you just about glow at his little compliment, folding a leg over the other while you rest on your palms, trying to hide how big your smile grows. 

“thank you,” you say quieter, shyer than you mean to. 

you two converse a bit longer, and you decide to sneakily flip the open sign to closed in the window while you listen to his responses. 

the topic of college is brought up, and you respond to his questions about how it’s going, what you’re majoring in, and you answer, creative writing, feeling flushed when he pauses his work to smile at you. 

“an’ you know what, you always were a storyteller when you were young, i bet you’ve only gotten better since,” he says wistfully, fondly imagining you typing away and creating stories he’d happily read all about. 

he’s not a big reader, but for you? he could be. 

when he finishes up, he calls you over, turning the knob on high and watching as the ac releases what sounds like a guttural groan before a gust of icy air greets your bare arms. 

you gasp and squeal in delight over no longer being slowly cooked to death in your parent’s mini mart.

“thank you mr. miller you’re literally the best,” you gush and he waves you off, gathering his tools as he nears the register. 

“ahh don’t worry ‘bout it. i’m happy to do it. ‘specially if ya had anyone else do it for you, i know you’d get charged damn near an arm and a leg,” he rests his hands on the counter and your eyes trace over his long fingers while you make your way beside him. you feel giddy when you notice the tan line on his ring finger. 

a reminder of the fact that he’s single now. 

you just nod, holding back from saying something along the lines of how you’d be more than happy to pay him for this service with a…different kind of service of your own in return. 

“so how much was the root beer hun?” he asks, flicking through the bills in his wallet. you immediately shake your head, ignoring his protests of accepting a free drink. 

“no that was on the house mr. miller, i will not take your money,” you say stubbornly and he squints at you, huffing in defeat. “you sure? don’t want you gettin’ in trouble with your folks if they find out you’re out here givin things away for free now,” his hands settle on his hips and he gives you a playfully testing look, still managing to cause a flurry of emotions to ripple inside your lower tummy. 

“who’s gonna tell them?” you counter, voice lowering just a little, eyes following in suit as you stare up at him. 

his soft chuckle fades between his parted lips at the shift in your demeanor. his jaw comes down for a second before his lips curl to the side. “alright, thank you sweetpea,” he concedes just an octave above a murmur. 

“is there anything else you wanted to get? because in all seriousness, they’d probably get more upset at me for actually charging you instead of just letting you have it for free.” you say truthfully, feeling positive that your dad wouldn’t mind joel taking a few things home free of charge. 

he holds out that big hand of his, chuckling when his gaze shifts to the ground before it rests back over on you. “nah s’alright hun, root beer was already mighty gracious of you,” but you’re not buying it, you head behind the register, arms extending along the expanse of the wall of products, pretending to sell the items like you’re showcasing the prizes on a game show. 

“you suuure? anything you want, completely free,” you offer temptingly and his lips collect themselves to the side of his mouth, chuckling mutedly, a little shake of his head as he watches you. 

“alright,” he leans forward, and you feel your throat get a little tight at his ministrations, suddenly noticing the slight glimmer of a chain hidden beneath his shirt. 

“can you get me that pack of marlboro reds behind you hun?” he points at the carton of cigarettes, and for some reason his request makes your stomach get tight. 

you think back to how not even a day ago you rambled about your visceral dislike for boys, discarding them as a waste of time — but joel isn’t a boy. he’s a man, and may the version of yourself who existed moments before he came in, forgive you for being a melted pile of hypocritical mush he’s managed to turn you into in the span of less than two hours. 

you can hear your mother’s scoff in your head as you find yourself feeling giggly at his choice of a freebie. it’s just so. manly. 

he’s so manly. 

you hand him the carton and he pockets it, not before taking a cigarette out, deciding to indulge early. “thank you sweetpea,” he smiles, cigarette already being placed between his lips. 

“no problem,” you nod with a grin. he eyes the closed sign before he looks at you once more with a knowing smirk. “closing early i see,” he pointedly nods at the sign and you shrug with a sheepish little smile, neither confirming nor denying the notion. 

“lemme guess—folks won’t mind? and would actually be more upset if you didn’t close up early?” he teases, and it almost feels like flirting. you decide to tell yourself it is. so you play along, rolling your eyes and waving your hand dismissively with an equally teasing ha. ha. ha laugh. 

“it’s been a slow day, so no, they actually won’t mind, for your information,” you fold your arms, wriggling your face blithely. he chuckles, lighting his cigarette, taking a drag before he continues. “d’you need a ride home then hun?” he asks, genuinely offering and you have to forcibly give yourself a moment to pause before immediately yelling an overly enthusiastic YES PLEASE. 

“are you sure? you’ve already done a lot for me today,” you act a little bashful, mostly because you are, but you also are attempting to hide the excitement bubbling inside you at the thought of being alone with him in his truck. 

he shakes his head, exhaling the smoke from his lips silently, unknowingly entrancing you. “ts’ not a problem at all, cmon,” he motions his head towards the door and you trail along like a lost puppy.  

you lock up the door behind you before you’re greeted by the sight of joel holding the passenger seat open for you. 

your face gets hotter than it was before he fixed the ac at the sight of his chivalry, pretending to curtsy with your invisible dress before you climb into his truck, mumbling a shy thank you, as he safely closes the door behind you. 

he hops in, and you read your address out for him as he turns the keys in the ignition. 

it’s a little silent for awhile, but it’s okay, you’re content stealing glances at him, hiding behind the fist that supports the weight of your tilted head, hoping he doesn’t notice the way your eyes cast over him adoringly. 

he’s so beautiful. you definitely had taste as a kid. 

he even looks strong, and not in an annoying machismo way, but in a natural, humble way. a kind way. 

you want to touch his broad shoulders, kiss your way down his biceps to his forearms and down to each and every finger of his. you want to kiss away all the callouses and take care of him the way he deserves. 

you can’t believe you’re daydreaming about him in such a way right in front of him, especially since it’s the first time you’ve seen him in about 16 years and this is how you react. 

oh well. 

the contrast of grey in his soft looking brown hair is so complementary, you hope he hasn’t turned into one of those guys that put dye over it, because frankly you think the natural look suits him quite well. 

you drift your stares down to his strong hooked nose, admiring how charming it is. you want to trace your finger tip down the slope of it, and uh oh he’s looking at you. 

you can’t be too obvious in your actions, despite the fact that you already are, so you just smile instead of whipping your head around in the opposite direction like you wish you could. “can i try?” you ask, motioning towards his cigarette, trying to play off the situation as to not expose the real reason why you were staring. 

he just chuckles under his breath, his smile lingering when he turns to look back at the road. “that’s ahh, not really a good habit you wanna get yourself into sweetpea.” he says with a small shake of his head. 

you almost give up right there, but you decide to push just a little further. “it won’t be a habit, i just wanna see the appeal is all,” you turn in the seat to fully face him, smile growing when he leans his head towards you in a jokingly exasperated tilt. he says your name warningly, and you deflate for a moment, worried he may actually be annoyed with you. 

you don’t say anything else and he notices, feeling bad at your silence. he sighs with guilt, wanting to remedy the incorrect thoughts you have of him being upset at you as he hands you the cigarette. you instantly perk, taking it into your own fingers. “careful now. you might choke, waters right there in the cup holder if it burns. don’t inhale it too long,” he instructs, watching you from the corner of his eyes to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. 

you wave away his worries, placing the stick between your lips, feeling warm all over when you get a thought that says it’s kind of like we just kissed through the cigarette. 

you inhale, hold it in for a few passing seconds before you’re proving his warnings correct, coughing loudly and not flatteringly whatsoever. 

you try to face away from him, your eyes beginning to water and your throat burning worse than when you smoked from a very suspicious wax pen. the last thing you wanted was for him to see you like this. 

he brings a hand behind your back, rubbing it soothingly as he sighs to himself, feeling a tinge of guilt for letting you smoke. 

“easy honey easy, drink some water,” he hands you the bottle of water and you down it, blinking away your tears as you hand him back his cigarette. “that was so embarrassing i’m so sorry,” you groan, burying your face in your hands. 

“s’alright honey, least now i bet you really won’t wanna make this a habit now right?” he asks, hoping you confirm your aversion to cigarettes. you instead choose to tease him a little, humming a contradictory response to his question. he squints at you and you giggle. “i dunno, might have to try again so i can really make sure.” 

he taps the ashes out the window, laughing at your reply. “you’re gonna get me in trouble with your dad there hun f’he finds out i turned his daughter into a little chain smoker,” 

you slide your hands under your thighs, watching him for a moment before you speak. “i won’t tell if you don’t,” you repeat yourself from earlier, alluding to something else, hoping he reads your mind and understands your allusions. 

he purses his lips in a slight upward furl, looking at you once he’s reached a red light. “someone’s gotten a whole lot sneakier since the last time i saw her,” you laugh, leaning into the headrest while you look at him. “a lots changed since,” you say, voice falling quietly and he holds your stare, his eyes betraying him by clearly darting down to your lips. the red light switches back to green, forcing him to look away from you. 

your chest bloomed at the way he looked at you in that moment, unsure if you’re delusional in even considering the possibility he maybe could reciprocate the attraction you’re feeling. but a little delusion never hurt anyone anyways. 

“it sure has,” he agrees, the corner of his eyes taking in your figure once more. 

but he shakes the thought from his head, almost rebuking it and instead deciding to change the subject. “can’t fault you too much though. sarah’s the same way sometimes,” he says through a chuckle that sounds nervous — did you make him nervous? 

again, you tell yourself you did. 

you sit up straight at the mention of sarah, visibly growing excited. “oh my god sarah, how is she? it’s been so long, i’m sure she doesn’t remember me,” blurred memories of playing with plastic makeup sets, and real makeup you two ‘borrowed’ from her mom, replay in your mind at the mention of her. 

he shakes his head, disagreeing at your slightly saddened thought of being forgotten by sarah. “she’s good, she’s in school just like yourself, and she does remember you hun! matter a fact, she’s home right now, if you’d like, you can come over for dinner and catch up with her,” you clap your hands together excitedly, nodding happily at his suggestion. 

“yes! that sounds amazing, i would love to!” you accept and he smiles at the thought of his two girls sitting together talking at the dinner table. 

“i’m sure she’s gonna lose her mind when she sees you,” he squeezes your knee and you go still, frozen in place when you feel the heat from his palm radiate into your skin. 

his touch is gone too soon, you want to hold his wrist and keep him there, but you pretend his fleeting touch doesn’t affect you as strongly as it actually does. 

the heat from his skin has become yours and you cradle it, pretending you’re not beaming in his passenger seat from it while he talks. 

“i’m kinda nervous, it’s been so long,” you say, pressing the backs of your fingers to your cheeks and feeling the warmth of nervousness flush to the surface of your face. 

“don’t be sweetpea, nothin to be nervous about, i promise,” he comforts your nerves with a soft voice, and you allow it to cushion you. 

—

joel was right about two things. 

you really did have nothing to worry about, you and sarah clicked right away as if no time had passed. she squealed when she saw you, racing towards you and enveloping you in a tight hug, rambling about how she’s missed you so much. it felt good to know you were never forgotten in her mind. 

he was also right about sarah being sneaky. 

or rather ‘persuasive’ and ‘just so happens to forget to mention certain things’ as she would put it. 

she managed to convince both joel (which didn’t take much convincing to begin with) and your dad to let you sleep over, which you were ecstatic about for obvious reasons but also because she saved you from having to scramble for a reason as to why you closed up the shop early. 

you’re in her bed now, sitting behind her while you help gather her hair into her baby pink bonnet, talking about anything and everything there is to talk about. while also getting ready to sleep off the high from the wax pen she has hidden under her pillow. 

“i can’t believe you’re really here with me right now,” she grins as you move back in front of her, leaning into her opening arms. 

“i know, me too, it’s been so long,” you hum, rubbing her shoulders. “i’m kidnapping you by the way, this was all just an elaborate scheme to lure you in.” she mentions casually and you laugh, falling back into her bed with her while you rest your head on her shoulder. 

“fine by me,” you say, and you mean it, but you don’t add that in.

“i’m happy you’re here,” she whispers, her nose scrunching up against yours. you smile, holding your forehead to hers. “i am too.” 

“are you busy tomorrow?” she asks, pulling the blankets over your bodies. you shake your head, curling under the covers. “nah, we’re closed tomorrow at the store and i don’t have school that day,” you say, feeling pure adoration as you watch sarah’s smile grow the more she listens to you talk. 

“why don’t we spend the day together then! my dad’s gonna be at work so we’ll have the house to ourselves,” she whispers as all the excitement from the day starts to add weight into your bones, easing you both into rest. 

you nod and smile sleepily, leaning into her arm that drapes over your side. “okay, i’ll call my dad tomorrow,” you yawn and she closes her eyes at that, content by your answer. 

— 

it’s 3am. you should not be awake. but you are, and you’re looking over at sarah, wishing you were fast asleep like she is. you carefully peel yourself out of her arms, gently covering her with the blankets before you pad out of her room and down into the kitchen for some water. 

you tiptoe down the stairs, your heart sinking nervously right into a tight spot inside your stomach when you see the fridge door agape, with a broad back sticking out of it, also in search of something to drink. 

joel rises and turns to see your stilled figure standing awkwardly, staring forward like you’ve just gotten caught stealing. 

he chuckles, scratching a few lazy fingers down his stubble when he shuts the fridge. “what’re you doin up sweetpea?” he asks, and oh god his voice is nice and gravely, a rasp from the depths of sleep that he evades every night careens around your ears and you nearly fold at the knees. 

“just uh, randomly woke up and i couldn’t go back to bed. was just gonna get some water, sorry,” you sound meek and joel shakes his head, and walks closer. you panic a little. it’s a good panic. 

“nuthin’ to be sorry about hun, i’ll getchu some water,” he holds your arm, smiling softly down at you, nodding at you for confirmation. once again his touch abandons the skin of your upper arm when he leaves to fetch a cup for your water. 

your hand graces the skin he touched as you watch him pour you water. he hands it to you, and you thank him quietly, taking a sip from the old plastic disney princess cup he picked out for you. 

“so what woke you up? you feelin’ alright?” he murmurs, coming in close again to press the back of his hand to your forehead. you weren’t overheating until he decided to do that. 

you swallow hard, shaking your head beneath his hand. “n-no no—well i mean yes, yes i’m-i’m okay, i just wake up randomly at odd hours of the night for some reason sometimes,” you say hushedly, afraid to disturb the peaceful silence the night brings. 

he nods understandingly, withdrawing his hand from your face and you want to tell him he can keep it there, but you mentally digress. 

“happens to me too,” he sighs, visibly tired with a hand lazily running down his stubble. “sorry you’re goin’ through it too then hun,” his thumb runs a small circle over your shoulder comfortingly and your body molds around the curve of his fingers. 

“it’s okay,” you mumble shyly and he smiles softly, his touch stalling on yours before it drops back to his side. the air that fills the quiet kitchen turns into something warm and calming when it floats between your tired bodies, and it feels nice. feels domestic. soft smiles mirror each other on your faces and you look away, unable to handle the weight of his stare. 

“so, do you um…do anything that helps you fall asleep?” you ask curiously, mostly just trying to make conversation to keep him tethered to you, even for just a moment longer. 

he scratches his scruffy beard and sighs, nodding like he’s somewhat ashamed to admit. you grow curiouser, deciding to test the waters and inch in just the tiniest bit closer. “and what do you do?” you question through a whisper. 

“i smoke,” he responds just as hushed and you chuckle. “sounds like you’ve got a bad habit.” you prod, lightly teasing and he takes the playful jab, chuckling along with you. 

“well, we’ve all got our vices,” he smiles at you in a way that's playfully guilty, and you roll your eyes with the same playfulness before speaking again. “was i stopping you from taking a smoke?” you ask, and he shakes his head, denying the notion. “no no, and if you were it’d probably be for the best,” he shrugs and you grin. an idea occurs in your mind. 

“can i smoke with you again?” you ask bravely and the volume in his laugh rises before he’s silencing himself so as to not wake sarah. 

“ain’t happenin’, shouldn’t have even happened the first time,” he immediately shoots down your request but you have a sneaking suspicion you’ll wear him down. 

“but you said it helps you go to sleep,” you counter with a pout and he sighs with faux exasperation. 

“hun,” he says warningly again, eyeing you in a way that pins you where you stand. “first time seein’ you in what? 15 to 16 years and i’m already becomin’ a bad influence on you.” he says amusedly, his fingers dipping into the pocket of his plaid pajama bottoms, tracing over the curve of the loose cigarettes that await him. 

“it’s not like you’re giving me hard drugs mr. miller,” you say, tilting a shoulder at him persuasively. his eyes trace over your face for a few passing seconds, taking in the way you look back at him before he decides what to do next.

“last time, understand? just to help you sleep.” he says, but it sounds like he’s more so reminding himself than he is you. 

“okay,” you smile, following him to the loveseat that faces the window, and you assume this is where he usually smokes. 

he cracks open the window, and sits down into the plump cushion, leaning against the very texan quilt that drapes over the seat. you sit down on the arm of the seat, stretching your legs above his knees, the closeness in proximity feels so personal, and you want to live the rest of your life in this quiet and intimate hour with joel. 

he hands you a cigarette, watching you put it between your lips, his available hand straying off to the side to grab the lighter that’s on the tray beside the loveseat. 

he flicks the lighter on and your faces become illuminated by the small flickering flame. he looks beautiful as he carefully lights the end of it, his eyes on the bud of it while your’s memorize each and every wrinkle that crinkles around his eyes. 

“inhale, careful now,” his words of concern blanket over you and pave a smooth passageway for the smoke to enter into your lungs, successfully preventing you from breaking out into another coughing fit. 

you inhale, and keep it before you fan it out the window. he smiles and pats your ankle that rests beside his lap. “there ya go,” he nods the crown of his head at you proudly. you bow humbly, handing him the cigarette. 

“feels nice. makes me feel warm,” you mumble tiredly, watching the way he takes a drag effortlessly. “don’t get too used to it now,” he chides, words shadowed amidst the mist of his smoke. 

“i won’t,” you reply with a knowing smile as he goes to hands it back to you. he pulls his hand that holds the cigarette back, eyeing you. he says your name in that tone and you wave him off, taking the cigarette from his fingers. “kidding,” you remedy his worries of your possible nicotine addiction in the nearby future, inhaling another drag.

you two go back and forth like this for awhile, until the cigarette becomes an unrecognizable little stub,

“feel sleepy yet?” he exhales through a fanning breath, and you nod, watching him flatten the bud into the ashtray beside his side of the armrest. 

“good,” he yawns, lazily running a hand across the side of his beard. “got a long day tomorrow — or today technically, an’ so do you little miss, try an’ get some rest.” he drawls softly, sleepily, and you nod your tired head at his words, free falling into them. 

“goodnight sweetpea,” he says with a gentle finality, leaning in to hold you by the back of your head, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. you crumble into his touch, shutting your eyes as if to fossilize yourself in the moment. 

“goodnight,” you whisper, feeling cold when he pulls away. you wish you had thought of something more to say, anything at all that would’ve kept him in your presence for just a little longer, but now you’re stuck sitting alone in the living room, watching his broad back ascend up the stairs, wishing you were trailing behind him, with your hand in his. 

you finish the rest of your water before you’re trudging back up the stairs, the weight of exhaustion lowering its heft onto your shoulders with each step upwards. 

and as you crawl back into bed with sarah, despite the attempts to push the thoughts away, all you can think about are the ways in which her father could tire you out until you fell asleep.

___ 

after that day, the miller household practically became your second home. more often than not showing up to their house rather than your own after school and work. 

at first you were worried that maybe you were beginning to overstay your welcome, that maybe they just didn’t know how to tell you to stop coming over so often. but they quickly put those insecurities to rest when sarah called you wondering why you hadn’t shown up after work, saying how joel set a plate for you at the table and it was getting cold. 

they were just as attached to you as you were to them. 

they really loved having you over, loved getting to make up for all those years you all went without each other, taking the time to relearn everything there is to know about the other. 

for instance, joel learned you have an affinity for tight tank tops that ride a little too low on your chest and rise a little too high whenever you bend down. 

his fingers have a tendency to straighten out your spaghetti straps, and he always murmurs something along the lines of, showin a lotta skin today huh hun? 

you’d grow warm under his touch, hiding behind a pretty grin and an excuse of oh, heat’s just gettin’ to me lately, or his personal favorite,  damn dryer shrunk my clothes again. 

he doesn’t mind whatever your excuse is, he’d just hand you his flannel, telling you to at least wrap it around your waist whenever guys were around, because i know how men think, he’d explain and you wouldn’t argue, you’d happily accept his flannel and listen to his heeding. 

you wonder if he was having the same thoughts he was trying to prevent other men from having about you. 

you like to tell yourself he was. 

but there is one thing you don’t have to convince yourself of. joel really, truly, and utterly cares for you. 

joel is nothing if not protective, he just wants to look out for you, make sure you’re safe, that you’re okay, and so when you called him at work, voice trembling and meekly asking if he can pick you up, naturally, he abandoned his meeting at work to race over to you. 

creating blueprints for a new apartment building suddenly became unimportant the second he heard your voice crack over the phone.  

he could hear the way your breath paused for a moment, only to come out shakily through tears when he asked if you were alright. your audible sadness casted immediate worry and concern over him, instilling itself in his chest. 

he sees you now, rushing to walk out of the store, locking it on your way out, and he hops out of his truck, wanting to be the first thing you’re greeted by as soon as you raise your head. 

relief rinses through you the moment you see joel standing in front of his truck, your eyes betraying the attempt at strength you were fighting so hard to have the second he pulls you into his arms. 

his hands feel warm and heavy behind your back, rubbing all the quiet sobs out from you with each gentle circular movement. 

“oh babygirl,” he murmurs under his breath, feeling his heart break with each little gasp you make through your tears. “what happened?” he asks, unintentionally causing the tears to fall harder, making you fist at his button up. 

“today has been so bad,” you finally say, your head resting on his strong chest, shaking fingers tracing over the seams of his button up in an attempt at self soothing. 

“wanna get inside an’ talk about it?” he asks just above a whisper, keeping his voice soft for you. you nod, twisting the knife in his chest when you sniffle. 

he helps you into his truck, shutting the door behind you, meeting back with you soon once he’s in the driver’s seat. 

“now what happened honey?” he asks, and you take in a deep breath through the tears, waving your hands at your eyes to try and stop the stinging sensation at your waterline. 

“today has just been one bad thing after the other,” you wipe away the stray tears with annoyed fists, wishing they would cease their incessant presence. “first, i got into a fight with my dad, he called me selfish and inconsiderate for not canceling class to come down to the shop earlier and that there’s no point in attending class because i’m just gonna get overwhelmed and quit anyway,” you barely manage to say tearfully, further etching a frown into joel’s features, his chest aching at the way you’re visibly hurting. 

he says your name tenderly, matching the way his hand reaches out for you to hold. you squeeze his hand, holding onto it when it rises upwards to cup your cheek, his thumb wiping a stray tear across your cheekbone. 

you lean into his palm, shutting your eyes at his touch. “and i’m scared he’s right, today in class i was so stressed all i wanted to do was walk out,” you whimper ashamedly, and joel shushes you, bringing his free hand to fully hold your face, turning your gaze back up to meet his. his hold on you is delicate, like you’re a dandelion amidst a strong breeze, and all he wants to do is keep you with him, safe and sound. 

your cheeks are cradled by his hands, his calluses turning into a thing of comfort against your cheeks, along with his thumbs that swipe away the tears that refuse to concede from your lash line. 

he holds you like this for a while, wordlessly guiding your breathing with his, evening out your sporadic hiccups induced by your crying, settling your nerves down to a more manageable level. 

your eyes flutter shut at the safety he drapes over you, your smaller hands holding onto his wrists, mindlessly running your thumb along his knuckles. “wish you were with me at work today,” you mumble, imagining the way he would’ve protected you from the creepy customers you had to deal with. 

“what else happened?” he lightly coaxes it out of you, wanting you to get everything out so you don’t have to carry the burden of the day’s stress on your shoulders. 

“these guys came in, and they were just so weird,” your hands tighten around his wrists, recounting the uncomfortable interaction you were subjected to. 

“kept…kept making weird jokes about everything…i said if they needed anything to let me know and i heard one of them tell their friend i better be careful saying things like that, and they like—ugh,” you take a moment to catch your breath, refocusing on the way joel’s gently running his fingers across your temples, something he’d do for you in the middle of the night whenever you’d get a headache. 

“they kept making jokes about me taking off my clothes because it’s summer and it’s hot or whatever i dunno it was stupid but they kept ‘suggesting’ i should lose the tank top because walking around in a bra is the same as wearing s bikini at the beach,” you grimace at the fresh memory, and joel wants to take it away from you, wants to wash you clean of all the pain you felt today. 

when you look up at joel his jaw is clenched, lower jaw jutting out in anger, his hands falling from your face down to your hands, holding them in his, while he shakes his head. “fuckin’ disgusting,” he mutters to himself. “probably good i wan’t there, woulda fuckin’ killed them,” he utters under his breath, and more so to himself, his hands migrating down to your hands, squeezing them hard. his eyes that hold an image of what he’d do to the men who harassed you dissipate as soon as they shift back up to you. “i’m sorry hun,” he sighs, cupping your cheek, cradling you into his palm, speaking gentler this time, “an’ as for your dad well…he’s an asshole. but i know you already know that,” he pauses to smile at your little giggle. 

“he couldn’t be more wrong about you. you are so smart hun, an’ you can and will accomplish everything you set your mind to.” the soft gravel of his voice tides around you like an embrace, enveloping you in it as an attempt to wash you clean of your distress. 

your eyes well and your heart soars up high inside your chest at his kindness. 

“thank you mr. miller, you are so nice to me, it—it means so much coming from you, and i can’t even begin to explain how grateful i am that you even came here at all,” he left work for you. you groan with guilt at the remembrance. “and—god i’m so sorry that i just like, randomly called you at work i’m so sorry you were probably super busy, i just didn’t know who else to go to,” you ramble with guilt, but joel’s already shaking his head as you rattle off with apologies, his hands coming back up to your cheeks, stilling the words on your tongue. 

“hey hey hey,” he shushes you softly. “no apologies, okay?” his thumb runs under your lash line, clearing away your tears. “i’m glad you called me, rather you call me than have to hear what happened from someone else.” he pacifies your guilt for calling him, and he does it successfully, watching the upset furrow between your brows disappear. 

your lip trembles and you suck it in between your teeth, closing your eyes and leaning forward into his chest. he takes you in with no hesitation, his arms forever acting as a sanctity for you to hide in whenever you need. 

he hesitantly pulls away from you for a moment, mumbling a soft, give me a sec sweetie. he shifts around to the pull at the bottom of the driver seat, extending it backwards and giving him more space between him and the steering wheel. 

“cmere,” he says above a whisper, opening his arms for you once more. you’re being guided into his lap, gently wrangled in until you’re wrapped up in the thick protection of his strong biceps. he rubs your back, head resting safely on top of your’s, keeping you down to earth, keeping you in his arms. 

he takes in all your tears, takes in every racking sob from your chest into his, his lips every so often pressing their silent reminders of his presence into your temple. he rocks you back and forth, his soft shushes folding over the sound of your fading cries, lulling you into a calmness you didn’t know you could feel. 

“you’re okay, you’re okay,” he promises, and you believe him. you finally raise your head from his chest, the scent of him still lingering around you, his presence feels pliable, the way he’s looking at you, eyes downturned and scanning all over your face lovingly feels like a sign you know isn’t real. he says nothing, just clears away your stray tears, and that’s when you act. 

you lean in, holding his wrist and intertwining your fingers as your lips do the same. you sigh into his mouth, ascending in his arms when you feel him kiss you back just as rushedly, almost like if he’s too slow you’ll vanish from him. 

but it’s him who vanishes first. he pulls apart from you with a gasp, shifting you further away from him in his lap, your heart immediately cracking straight down the middle. “what’re you…what are you doing?” his questioning comes out breathless, he feels like he’s asking himself rather than he is you, and he prays you say the right thing, he prays that you call him disgusting and that you climb right out of his lap, removing the temptation and opportune to lean back in. 

but you don’t. “i’m sorry,” you whimper, embarrassment flushing through your whole body, he shuts his eyes, exhaling slowly through his nose. “i’m too old for you, you know that right?,” his knuckles drag across your cheekbone, and you nod solemnly, swallowing hard. “i’m not a kid though, joel,” you say shakenly, nerves rattling your bones when you say his name for the first time, unhidden by the lieu of mr. miller. 

“compared to me, you are,” he sighs, his hands gripping his own thighs, weighing them down to prevent them from gravitating to your’s. “i’m too old for you,” he repeats to himself, closing his eyes and leaning into the headrest, the sight and feeling of you looking up at him in his lap is too much for him to combat. “i’d be takin advantage of you,” he mutters, shaking his head, guilt starting to settle into the base of his chest. 

you’re quiet for awhile, and he takes it as his answer. that he’s right, this is wrong. 

but you contradict his thoughts. reaching up to pull his gaze back onto you. “you’re not taking advantage of me, i know that i want this.” you promise hushedly, and he wants to believe you. your eyes connect once more, a quiet tug of air being shared between the two of you, and you’re willing to let him have it, to let him have all the air you can offer and more. he leans in and you stay still, watching when he inches backward when he gets too close, like you’re a flame whose flicker burns too bright the closer he gets. and when you inch in, you can’t get yourself to break the seal and press yourself into him, a weight of nerves keeping you stagnant before him. 

his stare rises and falls down from your eyes to your lips, and you feel it in your bones that your body needs to have him more than it needs anything else. your gaze rests on him while your body acts for you, your hand finding his and holding it, squeezing it. “please,” you whisper, your words leaving you before you can process them. he swallows down everything holding him back, lurching forward to take your lips into his. his hand slides from yours, and up your arm, squeezing it as a test to see if you’re real. his hand moves from your cheek to the back of your head, kissing you hard and keeping you still, greedily wanting to keep you all for himself, wanting to memorize the taste of cherry coke on your tongue and raspberry lip balm on your lips.

it smears across his own lips, your taste immersing with his own, his mustache and beard tickling your skin just like you imagined it would, and you moan in his mouth at the feeling, flicking your tongue desperately over his, mindlessly bucking your hips against his. he groans deeply into you, grasping your hips and rocking himself into you, not a single thought in his head, just a carnal need to feel your cunt satiate the ache traveling down his cock. 

you pull apart for a breath, lips still pushed together, foreheads melded in close, hips crashing into each other with need. “feels so good,” you whimper into his mouth, the pleasure from the friction making you blatantly honest. 

he nods in agreement, never having heard truer words. his fingers indent the shape of themselves into your flesh, his hips acting on their own, desperate to push up into you while his mouth catches yours once more. 

he groans, his cock twitching when he feels you slip your tongue into his mouth, a little moan of your own floating out when you taste a hint of root beer from his kiss. 

your movements grow rushed, hands finding the heft of his flannel and fisting it to steady the heavy rocking of your hips crashing and tiding over his cock. 

desperation flows in your veins where your blood once was, replacing all sense of anything except for the physical need to rut your cunt against his bulge. he can’t keep up, all he can do is let his head fall in your shoulder, his big hands coming around to find purchase on your welcoming hips. his thighs clench underneath yours, tensing when he feels you dampen him through his pants. 

“baby,” he finally lets out shakily, thumbs running circles over your hips. “can’t—shit,” a beat passes with an involuntary grunt falling from his lips. “cant, can’t do this here,” he breathes, eyes hanging low upon you, his hips betraying his words with each thrust that meets your pelvis. 

you slow your movements, catching your breath quietly, nodding in a silent agreement. “i don’t wanna stop,” you admit truthfully, no longer feeling bashful about the fact.  

his cock aches at your honesty and he exhales through his nose, his hands tightening around you. “don’t have to,” he swallows, eyes drifting down to your hardened nipples. “just not here.” 

his answer satiates you, which almost leaves him regretful when you climb off his lap and leave him cold and void of your warm cunt pressed up against him. 

he starts the truck and all you can do is stare at the concentrated look on his face and his hands gripping the steering wheel. 

you wonder if he’ll hold you by your throat the same way. your thighs squeeze together tightly, causing the hem of your jean shorts to rub against your clit just enough to soothe the ache inadvertently caused by joel. 

he notices, eyeing you up and down, lips parted just a breadth at the sight. his hand itches to alleviate some of the pressure you’re carrying deep inside you, but instead he alleviates some of his own first. his right hand falls from the steering wheel for a moment, just to squeeze his cock when he watches the way you squirm and stare up at him from his passenger seat. 

he turns away, knowing he’ll crash if he keeps staring at you, bringing his wandering hand back to the wheel. 

“can i touch you?” you ask, seemingly innocent and his eyes shut for a passing second, a curt  shake of his head joining the action. “not a good idea—“ he really wants you to though “gonna make me crash,” he exhales, though his hips say otherwise, inching towards your side with need. 

your hand trails from his thigh down to his crotch, palming over him gently, and he grips the steering wheel, jaw vibrating with low groans. 

a 10 minute drive has never felt so far until now. 

your fingers curl over his bulge, straining against the seatbelt trying to lean in as close as it’ll let you until you decide to rid yourself of it all together. 

“seatbelt,” he says warningly, and with concern, but you wash it away the second your lips meet the side of his neck, with your hand pawing over him to ensure his submission. and joel just about crumbles far too easily at the touches. 

you’re impatient, he definitely sees that now, and you’re making it way harder than it needs to be for him to maintain his self control. 

“i thought about this a lot,” you hum in his ear, leaving kisses in the wake of your warm words. his throat gets tight just like his lower belly, excitement strumming through him when he halts at a red light. 

he turns towards you now, his hand dipping between your thighs, a little upward curl of his lips teasing the side of your cheek, his scruff leaving kisses of their own on your skin. 

you stifle a whimper, holding onto his wrist when you grind down on his fingers. “thought about touching me like how i’m touchin’ you?” he murmurs, pressing chaste kisses to your jaw. you nod, your chest pounding at the wave of realization of what’s happening. it excites you. 

“thought about it too,” he pulls away from you when the light turns green, and you stay frozen, your body suddenly unsure of how to function with a lack of his touch and proximity. 

“didn’t wanna admit it to myself, but i thought about doin…a lot more than that whenever you’d come around,” he pays you a once over, his eyes lingering over the plushness of your thighs that fill his passenger seat. 

“your skirts and shorts kept gettin’ so damn short, i felt guilty for wondering if it was on purpose,” a smugness takes over his face when he glances at you. “an’ now i know it was.” 

you flutter at his confessions, a sense of pride swelling in you at the confirmation that your little tactics seemed to have paid off. “i just wanted your attention,” you say softly, words falling like pillows and he catches them with open arms. 

his glance shifts from his crotch, up to your eyes knowingly, and he smiles faintly. “i can tell you that you had it even before you started wearin all that,” he rests his hand on your thigh, guiding the wheel with his left hand now. “but i can’t say i minded the change in outfits.” he brings his fingers over your clit, putting pressure over it and you whine quietly, bucking your hips into his touch. 

“if you ever want me to stop you need to tell me okay?” he tells you, and he’s serious, his fingers pull away for emphasis and you nod profusely, holding onto his wrist desperately. “i promise, joel i don’t wanna stop,” you plead with him, and as a simple man that he is, he doesn’t seem to need much more convincing. the pads of his fingers run circles over your clothed clit, and you grind down into it, hungry for more. 

“i want you,” you pant and he chuckles, drumming his thumb against the steering wheel. 

“you’ve got me.” 

“but i want more.” 

— 

it’s quiet when you arrive back at his house, the driveway is thankfully void of sarah’s little yellow volkswagen and relief blankets across your shoulders knowing she isn’t home. 

he ushers you inside, his broad, strong chest pressed up against your back with his hands guiding you by your hips. 

he closes the door with his back, leaning against it, watching you turn around to face him. it’s quiet for a few ticking seconds, and he watches as you lean in closer towards him. he doesn’t stop you but he doesn’t lean in to meet you halfway either. he says your name like he’s unsure if he’s even allowed to utter it, purposefully avoiding eye contact. you hum a soft little “yes?” and he sighs, his eyes falling shut for a moment. 

“this ain’t right,” he reminds himself, and his hands begin to loosen on your hips. you clamp a hand over one of his, the other coming up to lure him back into you, a gentle palm of yours cupping his scruffy jaw, thumb running across the crows feet that gather at the corner of his eye. “says who?” you counter gingerly and he chuckles breathlessly, shaking his head in your hold, feeling all restraint trickle straight off him the second his eyes catch yours. 

you move your hand away from his when his grip grows tight again, letting your now free hand hold both sides of his face when you go up on your tippy toes to meet him for a kiss. 

he catches you off guard and pulls you deeper into him, your crotches pressed flush together when he slips his tongue into your mouth, hooking and reeling you in. 

you moan into his mouth and it eggs him on, sending his hand into a downward motion towards your ass. he feels smug when you whimper in his mouth, pushing harder against his cock when he squeezes your ass. 

he rubs over your ass posessively, squeezing it hard, almost in disbelief that he gets to have you like this. kiss “need you to tell me if and when you wanna stop,” kiss. you don’t reply, you just fall into him whenever he presses his lips back to yours. your lack of a response leaves him discontent and he pulls apart an inch, eyeing you down expectantly. you huff impatiently, hooking your arms around his neck. “promise. i will.” which is good enough for him as he melds into you once more. 

his hands roam all over you, caressing, holding, squeezing all the places that only his eyes have traveled. 

it feels good, it feels all encompassing, to feel the trails of fire his hands leave all across your skin, and you can’t get enough. “can we,” a kiss to your throat, “go to your room?” you ask, somewhat breathless and he pauses for a second, eyes tracing the outline of your bitten lips before he nods. he holds your hand, leading you into his bedroom. 

the second you’re inside you’re guiding him into his own bed after having shut the door. he gazes at you amusedly, handing you the reins for a moment, keeping his hands on the edge of them while you take charge. he thinks it’s cute. 

you sit him at the edge of his bed, straddling him while you push at his chest until his back meets the mattress. you’re leaning back down, holding his face in your hands, your lips hastily meeting his once more. he welcomes you, his hands holding you down on top of him by your hips. 

you grind down on him, panting in his mouth at how good it feels to have him pressed right against your cunt. but it’s not enough. you need more. 

your hands travel down his strong chest, fixing towards unbuttoning his flannel. he lets you, busying himself with unbuttoning your little denim shorts, but he wants to unwrap you slowly. he wants to make a show of it. 

he flips you on your back and you gasp, feeling hot under his stare and stature above you. his knees rest on either side of you, indenting the bed while he maintains eye contact. his fingers take their time unzipping your shorts, and you whine quietly, bucking your hips towards him. 

he pushes you back down and shushes you. “patience.” he murmurs, rubbing his thumbs over your upper thighs. he doesn’t rush taking your shorts off, wanting to savor the feeling of getting to do this for as long as he can. the vision of you in his bed, wet, and impatient, laying before him in your little pink panties is about to make him burst. 

he’s still fully clothed above you and it casts a warm feeling throughout your bare body. you bring your knees close to your tummy, shutting your legs at your sudden shyness. he moves in closer, shaking his head with his palms on your knees. 

he pushes them back down, slipping a hand between your thighs. you gasp, arching your back into him and exhaling with relief when his fingers trace over your clothed clit. “i wanna see you honey,” he careens you gently, coaxing your shyness away. your legs part for him, and he takes full advantage, running the pads of his fingers up and down slowly, feeling the slickness start to bleed through your panties. 

he pushes them to the side, swirling over your clit and feeling proud when you moan into his shoulder. he dips into your little soaked hole, exhaling into your neck at how wet you are. “barely e’n touched you and you’ve already made a mess,” he tsks you lovingly, hints of teasing in his words, and it only excites you more. your stomach and chest get tight at his touches and the way he talks to you, it’s so unreal, and you could honestly cry in this moment from how bad you want to fuck him. 

“i always get like this for you—oh,” you cry out into his shoulder when he pushes his thick middle finger inside you, his digit so long that it easily hits the little spongy spot inside you that you usually struggle to reach. 

“aw sweetpea,” he coos, kissing your forehead while his finger curls inside you. “got you walkin’ around all hot and bothered with no release, i’m sorry,” he kisses your temple, his gentleness contradicting the way he’s fucking you with his finger, grunting under his breath at how tight the fit is when he works in his ring finger. 

you choke on a gasp at the stretch, starting to wonder if his cock will fit if his fingers are already making you feel like this. 

“you gonna make it up to me?” you whimper, still maintaining an air of playfulness in your response. he chuckles, pulling apart ever so slightly to look at you, to watch the way you struggle to stare up at him with his fingers in your cunt. 

“i’ll make it up to you, and then some,” he says, his voice falling low on a raspy curve. you believe him, his response feeling like a promise he intends to keep. 

he’s on you again and you invite it wholly, legs coming around on either side of him go trap him into you. his fingers fuck into that sweet little spot inside you, every single flick of his wrist has your lower back bucking up into his touch. 

his palm hits your clit with every movement, it’s almost cruel, giving you just an inch when you need a mile. you’re running your hands all over him, kissing him messily even when there’s a mix of your saliva dribbling on your chin and air is depleting from your lungs. none of it matters, all that does is consuming as much of joel as humanly possible. 

your fingers struggle to unbutton his flannel once more, shaking and trembling too much to do it as ladylike as you wish you could but he doesn’t mind, it makes his cock twitch knowing he’s the reason why you can’t stay still. 

“feels so good joel,” you whimper, fucking yourself onto his fingers when you finally undo all the pesky buttons on his flannel. he kisses your cheek, his beard tickling your skin while you slide your hands underneath his wife beater. 

“good honey, s’all i wanna do,” he curls his finger right there, drinking in your cries with his lips clamped over yours. your nails drag down his chest and he winces above you, your lips still brushing together. “sh-shit m’so so sorry joel,” you remedy the scratches with gentle caresses but he shakes his head, kissing your chin. “no no s’alright baby—kinda liked it,” he chuckles, thumbing over your clit, precum starting to leak through his boxers at the way you keen into him at the little action. you giggle at his response, raking your nails softly down his chest, fingers suddenly halting only to begin trembling when he picks up the pace inside you. 

“want more joel, i—fuck,” you’re panting, arching up into him, the saturation of the room is getting dimmer and glittery, it’s hard to keep your eyes open and the pounding in your chest and cunt is nearly blinding you. “need more of you, please? please god i’ll do anything,” your desperation is loud and clear and you couldn’t care less. he can feel it, can feel you gripping his fingers, squeezing him so good and he certainly hears how ready you are for him; he revels in the slick clicking sound eliciting from between your legs because of, again, him. 

he swipes the tears gathering at the corner of your eyes and he shushes you, kissing you wherever your tears appeared, rubbing that little spot inside of you soothingly. 

you hum in pleasure, hands traveling up to his shoulders. “don’t need to cry honey, i’ll give i’to you,” his promises fan out over your lips, slipping his fingers out of you. 

the loss of his fingers inside you feels cruel, you feel clingy, all you want is joel near you, around you, on you, and in you. 

the sound of his hands undoing his belt hangs in the air, quiet and low breaths of desperation flicker from out your lips while you watch him pull himself out of his jeans. his cock, fat and heavy, and twitching, falls with heft on your lower tummy, resting with impatience on your skin. 

you whimper, hand nervously wrapping around it, your fingers barely able to cover the thick circumference of it. “you’re huge,” you choke, unintentionally adding fuel into his ego and he chuckles, shaking his head when he kisses you. 

“you’re flatterin’ me,” he murmurs against your lips, wrapping a hand around himself, guiding his tip to circle around your clit. you gasp, curling upwards into him, your forehead resting on his broad shoulder. you kiss his bare skin, the comfort of his skin to yours soothes you while he slides his cock up and down your folds. 

“oh—ooh,” you suck in a big breath, hands flying to his forearms to hold onto when he starts to push in, his tip inching into you feels just as big as it looks. “shit,” you whimper at the burn that follows along with the stretch that he pushes into you and he pauses with concern. he hovers above you like a gracious adonis and it almost makes you forget the twinge of pain between your thighs. 

“you need me to stop?” he asks, his words of gentleness cradling you and you shake your head, running your palms down his chest. “no, please keep going, i can take it,” you nod as further emphasis, pushing your hips up, aching to feel more of him. 

he brings his lips to your’s again, sighing when he feels your little moan escape into his mouth. his cock rocks into you at a steady pace, unintentionally pushing you further up into his bed, and he holds onto you tighter, not wanting you to move an inch away from him. 

“haven’t felt like—shit,” he shudders something like a whimper against your lips, and you have to hold back a moan at the sound. “ha-haven’t felt like this in so long honey,” he swallows hard, caressing the side of your face. “haven’t thought about someone like this in years’,” he groans, pushing his cock in deeper. 

your clit pulses at the way he speaks to you, the way he fucks you. “had to fuckin’ jerk off like i was a teenager again after you’d leave—y’have no idea what the hell you’ve been doin’ to me honey,” he messily kisses you between each word, his thrusts growing heavy and rough inside you, the fat head of his cock prodding perfectly into the spongy little spot inside of you. 

“should’ve told me sooner joel,” you whine, bucking your hips to feel more of his cock. “touched myself every night thinking of you,” you whimper out, eyes falling shut when you feel his lower half brush against your clit. he pushed in especially deep at your confession, and you gasp, holding onto him tighter. 

“joel—fuck, sl-slow down, it’s so much,” you cry, barely able to hold onto him while he starts to pound into you, like he’s lost the reins and his body is in control now, an energy and stamina he hasn’t had since he was in his 20’s was back in full force and it all went into fucking you stupid. 

“m’sorry honey—you just, ohfuck, feel so good an the things you’re sayin’ i just—fuck i can’t help it,” he breathes out, pressing a chaste kiss to your bitten lips. “just take it for me baby,” he groans, his hands squeezing your tits before traveling down to your hips. 

his head hangs low while he splits you open on his cock, struggling to keep his eyes from shutting, but he forces them open to watch the way his cock stretches you wide. “you’re so big,” you whine, teeth coming down to sink into the heft of his shoulder. he groans in your neck, sending you a particularly hard thrust. 

the scent of cigarettes wafts around you the more he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his lips nip at your skin and you whimper into his shoulder at the thought of you going home smelling like him. 

his calloused hands mold to the shape of your body no matter where they travel, forming perfectly around you to hold onto you as tight as he can. 

silence falls between you two, the only communication occurring is the shared grunts and groans that slip into each other’s open mouths. his forehead rests on yours, occasionally moving to your collarbone or ducking down to graze his teeth across your breasts, tongue darting out to wetten your nipples. 

the sound of your soaked cunt getting fucked is near obnoxious—it’s loud, and you pray that the windows in his bedroom are shut, because there’s no doubt that if they aren’t, his neighbors will hear everything. 

your legs shakily hang off his lower back, pushing him in deeper and deeper. 

his thrusts start to slow in pace, and each drag of his cock inside you feels hypnotic, feels amazing, and he groans the same sentiments in your ear, kissing the skin behind it. “m’sorry,” his hips pause to a halt and you panic for a second, wondering if you somehow did something wrong. “everything okay?” you ask softly, clearing the hair away from his eyes. he nods, avoiding eye contact embarrassedly. “my back—startin to cramp up on me,” he mutters, pulling out of you and you hold back a sound of disappointment from the lack of weight on top of you. 

he sits up, back facing away from you, head in his hands. “i’m sorry honey,” he apologizes, still not looking at you. you frown, shuffling on your knees towards him. you hold him from behind, kissing the side of his neck. 

“don’t be.” you murmur, moving around in front of him now. you push at his chest gently, clambering on top of him. his eyes widen, a grin slowly spreading across his lips while his hands rest on your thighs. “what’re you doin?” he asks under a raspy breath, his cock twitching underneath you with excitement. 

you hold his shaft, realigning him with your eager hole, leaning down to press a kiss before you speak. “i’m taking over.” is all you say as you sink down on his cock, wincing at the intrusion. 

his eyes roll back and his head falls into the pillow, his hands starting to grip your hips. “baby,” he moans to himself, his cheeks growing hot. you have to inch him in at a cautious pace but he doesn’t mind, your tight warmth is something he welcomed wholeheartedly. 

you start to grind your hips experimentally, hoping it feels good for him. you honestly have no idea what you’re doing. you’ve only had sex once but you don’t know if it even really counts. 

if a guy putting it in then pulling out because he came too fast counted then, sure you’ve had sex. 

however all of this; it’s different with joel, that was a boy, and now you’ve got a man’s cock buried in your pussy. and you want to make him feel like one, you don’t want him to feel ashamed about his age or anything like that. you’ll make him forget about everything. 

you shudder a breathy moan at the new position, resting your hands on his broad chest, admiring the beautiful man that rests under you. “tell me what makes you feel good joel,” you murmur, head falling towards him, making direct eye contact with him. he swallows hard, his cock aching at how fucking hot you are. 

“shit baby, just use me how you want, use my cock honey.” he groans, licking his fingers and bringing it to your clit. you whine, almost toppling over on top of him at the contact, but you hold yourself up, determined to make both yourself and joel feel good. 

you grab his hands, unclamping them from the grip that rested around your hips and instead dragging them up your sides and onto your breasts, silently telling him to squeeze as much as he pleases. 

and that he does. 

he squeezes them, bucking his hips upwards into yours as he watches the way your flesh fills the gaps between his fingers. you rise and fall onto his cock, bouncing on it with a rhythm that hits every sensitive spot inside of you. 

you look down to where you meet, sucking in your bottom lip at the sight of him disappearing inside of you each time you lower yourself onto him. you rock back and forth, whimpering at how deep he can reach in you. you watch the way he swirls his fingers over your clit, touching you better than you could ever do on your own time. 

“c’mere honey,” he groans for you, and you obey, bending down to rest on his chest. he stops you before you can fully lay on top of him, holding you just under your ribs. he pulls you into his mouth, sucking over the soft flesh of your chest, tongue licking messily and hungrily all over your breasts. you gasp, arching your back into his mouth. “j-joel,” you moan, struggling to maintain the rhythm you built. 

his teeth tease your nipples and you shiver, your nails digging into his shoulders at the sensation. you bounce on his cock, mind going numb and fuzzy while your senses take over, each thrust feeling like electric in your veins. 

after he’s done sucking bruises into your soft flesh, your hands reconnect once more, and you pin them down beside his head, hovering above him while you ride his cock. 

i love you, almost slips from your lips while you stare at each other, chests rising and falling heavily, mouths parted, tongues darting out to wet your lips with hunger. the words hang in the air without sound, you’re sure of it. 

you grind down onto him as far as you can take him, feeling him nudge your cervix, and you whimper at just how deep he can go inside of you. he takes your moment of weakness as an opportunity to flip you right back to where you all started; underneath him. 

you gape at him, unable to process his quick movements. you’re laying at the foot of the bed now, and he’s grabbing your calves, tugging you closer towards him. he pushes back in and wastes no time in pounding you like nothing happened. he grabs your leg, pushing it up further towards your chest, angling himself in even deeper, pure desire fueling him. “shit baby,” 

he mutters, his hair falling in his eyes as he kisses your jaw. 

he rubs your clit with his thick fingers and you cry out, starting to tremble uncontrollably beneath him. “think m’gonna cum joel, m’so so so close,” you whine, your eyes falling heavy with your impending orgasm. 

“let me have it honey, cmon,” he kisses his encouragement into your cheek, fucking you with determination to make you cum, hard. his fingers never relent on your clit, and you can’t stop the panting that leaves your lips, all you can do is writhe beneath him while he fucks you through your dizzying climax. you moan his name in breathy chants, spasming as your body tries it’s best to ride out the stimulation that joel bombards you with. 

his hips grow messy and sporadic, he’s catching your lips in a hot kiss, tongues clashing and saliva falling to the corners of your mouth. barely taking any time to break apart for air. “m’almost there—where can i…” he trails off breathlessly, unsure of how to ask in a way that a gentleman would ask but you don’t care, you don’t need him to sound like one, not when he’s fucking you as if he’s never heard the word before. 

“inside, y-you can do it inside, please,” you beg with need, curling your legs around his hips and pushing down on his lower back. he shudders, and has a millisecond to want to ask you if you’re sure, but he can’t stop pushing himself inside you, it feels too good, and he’s glad you’re trapping him between your legs, because he never wants to stop. 

“sh-shit, i’m cummin’ honey,” he shakily moans in your mouth, struggling to keep his kiss coherent but the way your spent cunt tightens around him makes him lose all sense. you whimper against his lips, feeling hyper sensitive to each and every touch, but the feeling of him cumming inside you is unlike anything you’ve ever felt. 

he slowly pulls out of you, peppering your face with kisses when you make a sound of discomfort. you two lie in a comfortable silence, trying to catch your breaths. you turn to look at each other, and he smiles at you, leaning over to cup your face in his palm. “you okay?” he murmurs softly, running his thumb across your cheekbone. you nod into his touch, holding the back of his hand with yours. “yeah,” you grin. “you?” 

he chuckles heartily, and nods as well. “yeah. i’m alright,” he sends a playful wink and you can’t believe that it still manages to make your tummy flutter with butterflies. you suppose he’ll always have that effect on you. 

you stare at him for a little longer, testing the waters to see if he’ll stop you as you lift up his arm and scoot closer to him. and when he doesn’t, you smile to yourself while he only pulls you in closer, tightening his arms around you. you can feel his heartbeat against your back, and you’ve never felt more soothed before. 

you trace the veins on his strong arm that cradles you into him, your head resting on his other bicep. you don’t want to disrupt the peacefulness that’s settled upon you both, but you have questions that just might do that. 

“joel?” you ask and he hums a response. “would you ever want to do this again? or not even this but just…like…hangout?” you unknowingly grip onto his arm with nervousness, and hope that he says yes. 

he takes in a breath and you shut your eyes at the impending rejection. “honey,” he starts, and your eyes glisten with tears already. “i don’t know if this is something we should’ve done to begin with—not that i regret it—lord,” he shakes his head, chuckling dryly to himself. “lord knows i don’t regret it. but i don’t know if this is something we could sustain. i want to though, sweetpea trust me that i do,” he tilts your chin towards him, feeling his heart break when he sees your watery eyes looking back at him. 

“oh honey,” he sighs sadly, shifting you around so you can look up at him properly. his arms encase you, his warm hand running up and down your back while he pressed gentle kisses to your forehead. “why?” is all you manage to ask and he shuts his eyes, resting his chin on top of your head. “your dad’ll shoot me down and hang my body in front’of the whole neighborhood if he knew. and sarah? i don’t think she’d take kindly to me datin’ her best friend.” you hate that he makes perfect sense and you hate that you sound childish, that you didn’t even take either of those things into consideration. 

“we don’t have to tell them—at least not now? and we don’t have to be anything serious, i just…i like being around you.” you softly murmur, feeling pathetic as tears line your lashes once again. he thumbs across them, ridding your eyes of their wetness. “i like being around you too,” he returns your sentiments, leaning down to peck you. it feels gentle, domestic, and you can’t imagine going without more of them. 

“i’ll still pick you up after you have class, i still want you to come over for dinner like you usually do, nothin’ has to change and,” he closes his eyes for a beat. “—despite everything i said, i…i don’ know if i could handle not havin’ you around honey, feels like somethin’s missin’ when you’re not around.” he admits, and to himself as well, for the first time. 

you bloom with happiness at his words, surging forward to kiss him. he holds you by the back of your neck, tracing circles into your jaw. you hold his face in your hands, pressing kisses along his cheeks, feeling warm all over and when he laughs. it’s filled with a comforting airiness. 

he holds your wrist, turning to kiss your palm. he plucks your index finger, bringing it to his lips to kiss gently. “got me wrapped around this little thing,” he says just above a whisper, and your heart aches, overflowing with adoration. 

the door suddenly opens downstairs and you both share a look of horror. 

“dad? i’m home!”

[fairydares]

Hello I posted the new chapter of my Fairy Tail Next Generation fic, Chasing Tails! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

AO3 Link

FFNet Link

Preview:

“They only fight because they acknowledge each other’s strength. And when they see themselves in one another, it makes them strive to improve.”

-from Episode 20, “Natsu and the Dragon Egg”, (English dub, ~17:50), Makarov’s line

Natsu lay on Nashi's couch, clicking the marker he'd found in one of her kitchen drawers. Morning sunlight poured in through the window above the sagging, frayed couch. Pink brows furrowed above dark, angled eyes, not as large as they'd been in youth, and even narrower in self-conflict. His lips were sunk into a frown that accentuated the lines at the corners.

Never in his life had he struggled so much with the decision he was currently trying to make.

She was his only source of entertainment here...he was bored, dammit!

Click.

But what if she got pissed after he did it and threw him out? He just knew that if Lucy were here she'd be screeching at him not to risk it.

Click.

Well, she was the one who hadn't locked her bedroom door last night. If anything, it'd be all her fault. Plus with that little attitude she'd been sporting the day before, she was definitely due for some payback.

She even said she hated me! he recalled, dramatic tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

Click.

Okay, fine, that wasn't fair. He'd pretty much already gotten his payback when he pickpocketed her money—and kinda, sorta knocked her on her butt with that same move she'd used to get him into that damned elly-vator, an impulsive revenge he couldn't be bothered to regret, despite his current situation.

Plus she'd gotten way better by the end of the day. Dinner had seen the two of them bantering loudly but lightheartedly about everything and nothing. Even though they hadn't talked about anything more substantial than his need to take those pills again (both unspokenly at their limit for any conversations that were too heavy or emotional) it had still been fun—as close to home as Natsu would ever be in this shitty world. Nashi had seemed a little troubled somehow by the time they both hit the hay, but she'd easily grumbled a "goodnight" back to him before heading into her room.

Click.

Still...despite the happy moments they'd shared, he'd learned way too much that day not to start spiraling the second he was alone with his thoughts.

"Fire. That's the last thing the mouthy bastard managed to say before he died, that I burned him. The whole fucking house burned down. My foster sister Rose got burnt pretty bad, too."

It wasn't her, Natsu thought fiercely, clenching his jaw and squeezing the pen. We can't use our magic here. It couldn't have been her.

That was why he hadn't even bothered asking her what had happened exactly. Even if she had somehow managed to draw on her magic against all odds due to heightened emotions—which Natsu seriously doubted given the number of times he, as an S-Class Mage who hadn't been brainwashed into believing magic didn't exist, had tried since he landed in this world and found his long-lost daughter—Nashi would never kill anyone. Not his happy, energetic, big-hearted little girl.

Hearing her say a fire had killed her "foster father" (a term his guild members had called Igneel when he was still a kid, stopping when he got upset because of the "foster" part—now, he found himself clinging desperately to that word "foster" as a shield against the word that came after it, a searing cold knife against his heart) had...shaken him up a bit, that was all.

There was no reason to dig any deeper.

That was all there was to it.

Nothing else.

Besides! Like he'd already decided, letting himself get hung up on the past was a no-go; instead, he needed to focus on what he could do here and now:

One step at a time.

He'd told her he believed her and was on her side. What else could he do, especially when broaching the subject had damn near dragged them right back to square one?

He'd been pissed at her for that bad guy act she'd thrown at him when he asked how and why she'd wound up in that juvie place. Still was. But the truth was he'd also grudgingly, instinctively understood—on some level, at least—that the front had been extremely defensive. The wall she'd been throwing up with all her cursing and threatening had been plain as day, way too high to be approached when she still Lucy-screeched at him just for calling her "Nashi." They had a lot of ground to gain before they had a chance of dealing with something that had left such a deep scar.

What they really needed was the guild. Lucy, who'd always been able to say the right words and offer the comfort someone needed when the only thing Natsu could do was beeline straight for the shadows that haunted the people he loved so he could beat the crap out of them. Their nakama, who he could count on to prove over and over again that they'd always be there for her.

Speaking of nakama...it'd been easy to find a more tangible and immediate issue to focus on, because something that Dilf girl had said was really bugging him:

"I hope you know...this is why you're all alone."

His finger paused above the end of the pen. With a grunt he sat up, turning to face the window. The tree he'd slept in that first night here centered the view, its gray, sparse-leafed branches reaching towards the edges of the panes. He stared without really seeing it.

Was it true? Had Nashi...really been all alone here all this time? When he'd said he was going to bring her back to Fairy Tail no matter what, he'd meant it, but that definitely didn't mean he wanted her to have been alone in this world. No matter how shitty it was.

Natsu had been through more serious situations than he could begin to count. He'd been misunderstood, taken prisoner, arrested, beaten to a pulp, even killed and brought back to life more than once. Every single time, even back during the days before Lucy had joined the guild and there'd been a bit more distance between him and most of his guildmates, he'd pulled through because of the bonds he shared.

Igneel. His nakama. His team. Fairy Tail. Happy and Lucy. He had always been a person who wanted to rise above the odds and prove he was the best by his own strength, but deep down, and especially now that he was older, he also knew that no one could be truly strong all by themselves.

Finding out that Nashi had been hurt by about a million things he was supposed to have protected her from hurt bad enough, but the possibility that she'd been through all of it totally alone? It chilled him to the bone.

If that girl's words were true, they were just lucky she'd survived at all.

After frowning deeply, Natsu shook himself internally. He sighed in defeat.

"Welp! That settles it. Looks like there's no other choice..."

He lifted the pen, clicked it, and grinned like the demon dragon he was.

[gayassbish]

Genshin Guys as Your New Bestie. Highschool AU

Genre: Platonic of course and very much so crack

Reader: Gender Neutral | References to “girly pop” in Childe and Kaeya’s Part

Characters: Diluc, Zhongli, Childe and Kaeya, Alhaitham, Bennet, Xinqiu and Chongyun, Xiao

Diluc-

The kid who raises his hand and asks a bunch of questions, but still manages to not come of nerdy, but intelligent. He doesn’t talk to anyone in class and some other kids in class thinks he’s arrogant cause of it. Like “he’s too smart for us vibes.” You, on the other hand, know better than to trust the rumors and actually get to know his ass. That is lie, I can’t imagine anyone walking up to his emo self unless you’re the most extroverted person on the planet. He also definitely plays chess online in his chromebook 24/7.

Butttt you do end up sitting next to him as your seating arrangements change every semester or so. You say hi like a normal person and he sorta just grunts?? Terrible first impression, but you realize he’s very kind. Always picking up your fallen pencils, sharing homework answers with out you asking, and you end up getting a long pretty well once you find your stuff in common.

P.S. He’d 100% drive you around everywhere

Zhongli-

A popular dude cause he’s handsome ig and the fucking valedictorian. Plus he manages to know everything without coming off like a know it all, so he is generally well received by everyone and helps basically everyone out. Has a 10000 IQ and a calculator for a brain too. Probably wears granny glasses.

So… you’re at your part time job and notice him coming in. You immediately hide cause you don’t know him like that (yet) and don’t want to be remembered as “oh they’re the person who works there.” One of your coworkers helps him out instead while you secretly spy and realize he’s not as smart as he looks?? He is very much so only book smart and has no street cred what so ever. He looks so lost as to why he can’t take whatever y’all sell now and pay latter. He honestly gives your coworker a hard time. (rip coworker </3) You eventually help out and he recognizes you!! You learn he has an excellent memory and actually knows your name. And viola now your the person who he can go to for financial means. Have fun!

P.S You drive him everywhere…

Childe & Kaeya-

They’re those loud kids in the back who don’t shut up. I want to say they’re pant saggers but I know I would get canceled. (They so are though.) Anywho, you end up being forced to sit next to them and they like start flirting of sum shit idk?

But you’re girly pop and you don’t take that crap. After you put them in their place and educate them on how they shouldn’t talk to anyone that way like some cat calling NPC, they start to really respect you?? Well to be fair you don’t know if they’re scared of you or are just putting on an act.

Y’all get closer as you stop a lot of fights that happen between them and do your best to quiet them down in class.

And they kinda just drag you to places. Once you lost a bet and were forced to go shopping with them. (If you didn’t show up, they threatened to upload a photo of you sleeping in class onto their social media.) At the mall… Childe started to pick fights with the security guard (he claims it’s the other way around but we both know it was him) and Kaeya DOES NOTHING?? He just records the whole thing while giggling like an idiot. Y’all get banned from the mall. They do nothing but apologize on the way to your house (they picked and dropped you off.) It didn’t work cause you didn’t talk to them for a month after that.

P.S. Kaeya actually has really good fashion taste and was the one the blackmail you because he wanted to Project MakeOver you??

Alhaitham-

He’s an obnoxious, self-centered asshole to everyone and you do your best to avoid him until you’re stuck together for a group project.

Even though you know to the rumors about him, you still introduce yourself like a person with manners would… BUT he cuts you off. Immediately orders that he will do the project by himself entirely. And while you would usually take that deal (cause who wouldn’t, let’s be honest) you CANNOT stand the disrespect from this MAN. You guys start arguing until the teacher has to break it up between y’all and fucking Alhaitham is just like “I’ve never been so embarrassed infront of a teacher,” as if he didn’t start the fight. smh

Anyways, it’s really rough between you guys and it’s now presentation day. After you guys present, Alhaitham turns out rather pleased with your part, and though he would NEVER admit it to you (or even himself) you actually did better on your part than he would’ve if he went solo. At the end of class, he apologizes for being so cold at first. He explains how he hasn’t had the best group partners and almost always does all the work. He asks if you’d be okay working together again.

P.S. If you said yes, y’all would turn into an unstoppable duo. And if you said no THEN GOOD. He needs a lesson.

Bennett-

You definitely decided to just look after him once you saw him drop his phone, bag, papers, and himself down the stairs multiple times. You’re basically his bodyguard atp. You literately carry around extra bandaids cause of him omg. You guys have a bunch of classes together so it’s easy for y’all to get a long. You help protect him from bullies (Bennett just attracts the worst kinds of people) and he starts to think you’re his lucky charm.

Basically starts to worship you?? Invites you to hang out in his friend group of misfits featuring Razor, Barbra, and Fischl. They play DnD during lunch too and drag you into it. Honestly it turns into a cult with you as their leader. At the end of the school year, the five of you pull a bunch of pranks on the kids who were messing with Bennet.

P.S. The cult had a name: Lord Y/N’s Pimps. Barbra came up with it because she thought calling someone a pimp was a form on endearment… the name ended up just sticking.

Xingqiu & Chongyun-

They’re those fucking kids who won’t shut up about Harry Potter or Star Wars or sum shit. Luckily for them, you can be just as geeky. You fit in pretty well with them.

Y’all met after you went off on them for spoiling the new Star Wars movie and eventually bonded over your love for those space ninjas. You get invited to watch movies and join the arcade with them 24/7. You join in on Xinqiu’s bullying of Chongyun and in turn actually out smart Xinqiu. So it balances out. They love you cause they probably get tired of each other after a lot of their own fights, but you’re always there to ground them <3

P.S BY FARRR the best people to go trick or treating with on halloween.

Xiao-

The kid who never got out of ‘emo skater boy phase’. A lot of people think he’s cool, but he doesn’t have many (tbh any) friends for two reasons. One, he’s hard to approach, and two, he’s socially awkward as fawkk.

You guys have been going to the same school for years, but never actually talked to each other until you saw him playing The Legend of Zelda on the switch. You ask to watch and he kinda just scoots over without saying anything. Weird, but you bring up how nostalgic it is to see people from back in the day to when everyone still wet their pants to how they’ve changed now. Xiao just kinda mumbles in response. He actually doesn’t want the conversation to end and sorta just awkwardly asks how you’re weekend was on a tuesday…

Once you learn he’s not as scary as he looks and is secretly a big giant marshmallow on the inside, you guys get a long pretty well. Then when he gets more comfortable with your presence, he’s so much more less awkward (a sign that he trusts you) and his real personality will start to blossom. You guys go to the park a lot and feed the ducks (WITH real duck food, may I add, and not the nasty expired bread). You guys play on the swings and exchange playlists/sound recommendations.

P.S. You wonder if he actually knows how to ride a skateboard because he’s one of those skater boys who actually just brings a skateboard with them everywhere while they never use it?? Like we get it. You have legs for a reason but then why bring the skateboard if you’re just gonna walk.

And you get closer to them all once they trauma dump on you </3

A/N: My first post wowowow | 11/01/2023

[nowoyas]

koi no yokan 32: damage control (nishinoya yuu/reader)

First - Prev - Next - M.list 1-30 - M.list 30-60 - Ao3

A/N: yeah if you saw me write "coming next year" and didn't expect me to pull this idk what you were thinking lmao. happy new year here's some koiny to go with your vespertine update!

Summary: News travels fast.

Warnings and tags: Blink-and-you'll-miss-it suicide ideation

Words: 2600

[name] to Fukurodani Group Managers!!! at 16:16

[name]: hi

[name]: I need a council

~

Kiyoko to Fukurodani Group Managers!!! at 18:05

Kiyoko: does this have anything to do with the fact that you and nishinoya haven't been talking for the past week?

Yukie: WHAT

Yukie: WHAT HAPPENED WITH CUTE LIBERO BF

[name]: I cannot beg you more emphatically to not call him my boyfriend right now

Mako: what happened???

Yachi: something's been going on with them recently, but [surname]-chan hasn't really wanted to talk about it

[name]: please

[name]: focus

[name]: I maybe got an actual boyfriend

Eri: you WHAT

Eri: clarification. NOT the libero???

Kiyoko: omfg

Kiyoko: is this why you haven't been talking?

[name]: no

[name]: not like. directly anyway.

[name]: the boyfriend was today after I left practice

Yukie: is he cute

[name]: he's ok i guess

[name]: I dont. know. how i got here

Eri: wait so if you're this like. lukewarm about actual bf. why are you dating him??

[name]: I dont KNOW!

[name]: he asked and I panicked and I'm trying to figure out how tf i got here and im spiraling

[name]: noya doesnt need this right now

[name]: i keep trying to get myself to text asuka-san and tell him im soryy i dont know why i said yes and i cant do it but every time i try i just fully blank

[name]: he was like. an acquaintance maybe a friend

[name]: hes kinda the only person ive been able to talk to since stuff started happening with noya

[name]: uh no offense yacchan + shimizu-senpai

[name]: just like. the only one not somehow involved with the club and who didn't know noya and who could just like. listen from outside.

[name]: i guess he's nice???

[name]: he plays baseball

Mako: the fact that you're not excited about the new boyfriend and the only thing you're worried about is libero boy is a really good sign that you are not in the right relationship

[name]: ive had like three panic attacks since i texted earlier and i think i might have another here in a second

[name]: you know what's funny?

[name]: hes a catcher. he's basically just a fucking. baseball libero bc my life is a joke

Kaori: ok i'm here now. what the fuck

Kaori: break up with baseball boy

Kaori: but also we're missing key context here. why were you not talking to libero?

[name]: its so stupid

[name]: he's been going through some stuff recently

[name]: so we were like. eating lunch together. bc I figured the other guys wouldn't question it if he dipped on them to eat with me and he really needed to like. stop pretending to be okay for five minutes and just breathe

[name]: it actually concerns me how good he is at making people think nothing is wrong. i don't think i would have noticed if i didn't know already

Yachi: wait soimething happened???

Yachi: *something

[name]: the story's not really my place to talk about. also i only know like half of it. please also do not mention this part to anyone else for obvious reasons.

[name]: and like. we were having fun and things were good. he was flirting which he does and almost kinda seeming like things WEREN'T blowing up and it was FUN

[name]: and then asuka-san (baseball) shows up looking for me. something about fucking… idk notes or something. we'd been sharing notes from time to time because i felt bad bothering everyone else for notes and i'm only just finally getting my brain completely back from the concussion so I'm basically useless for morning classes

[name]: noya flips out. does that whole protective glaring and growling thing. but it's sorta different when it's someone I know who's literally just trying to keep his science grade up.

[name]: i guess I probably missed some context bc he tried to just like. sit with us after I told him it wasn't a good time and ofc noya's like. hell no.

[name]: asuka-san leaves and he's obviously annoyed and now noya's telling me about how he apparently already KNOWS about him bc his SISTER checked up on him and I shouldn't hang out with him and like

[name]: in hindsight asuka-san was definitely only talking to me because he wanted to go out with me. but??? don't tell me who I can be friends with??? so I told noya he was overstepping and not to do that shit and then we just. stopped talking.

[name]: next thing I know he's canceling on hangouts we already had scheduled and shit starts going bad totally separately and now THIS and

[name]: i dont know what to do

Kiyoko: I think you kinda do?

Yachi: ^

[name]: no but like

[name]: Ive never felt uncomfy with silence with noya before

Kiyoko: no offense I swear but has he EVER been silent off the court???

[name]: he's different when it's just us.

[name]: like… deeply different

[name]: i think maybe if he acted around other people the way he is when it's just us other people would see the appeal immediately and I wouldn't have to worry about this bc he'd have a prettier partner who absolutely adores him

[name]: that aside i don't think i should have to apologize for telling him not to tell me who i can be friends with or talk to

[name]: but this is ripping me the fuck apart

Yachi: yeah, you've been… really obviously not okay this past week

Yachi: sorry

Kiyoko: you should tell him that and tell this asuka guy that you made a mistake

Kiyoko: I keep telling you that nishinoya's different around you and you clearly already know that? he's in love with you and the way you are around him is really telling of the fact that you've got SOME kind of feelings for him

Eri: the guy I saw with you was like. insanely sweet and caring yknow?

Eri: I don't know many guys who'd be that gentle. Our guys are nice but there's nice and then there's… that

Yukie: I have spent my entire life searching for a guy who will hand feed me when I'm not feeling well and that one just did it unprompted

Kaori: I can confirm that that's Yuki-chan's dream

Mako: break up with baseball boy it's not too late

[name]: see but all that's just it!

[name]: this stupid fight aside senpai's basically like. perfect

[name]: he's too perfect for me to ever date him

[name]: someone always has to leave first

[name]: asuka-san's… safe

[name]: whenever that blows up in my face I can survive it

[name]: do you have any idea what it would do to me if I actually got together with senpai and he changed his mind? If he DIED???

[name]: I've watched my dad live in hell for the past two years because the love of his life died

[name]: I'VE lived in hell for the past two years because she died

Yachi: [surname]-chan…

[name]: do you have any idea how close I am to not being able to take it anymore

[name]: if I lost senpai it'd push me over the edge so it's better that I never have him to begin with

[name]: maybe… this is good?

Mako: NO

Kiyoko: first of all I'm sorry about your mom (?) that's horrible

Kiyoko: second of all that is insane logic

Eri: I can't read suddenly

Eri: for a second I thought you just implied that libero is the love of your life and that's why you can't date him

Kaori: addition to insane behavior: "I can't date this guy because I like him too much so instead I'm going to date this guy I don't like that much because I'm planning for all my relationships to fall apart"

[name]: do you know how relationships work

[name]: there's only so many possible endings

[name]: we date and either one of us dies or we break up or we get married and THEN one of us dies or we break up

[name]: no other possible endings. someone always loses someone.

[name]: this is safe and it's good probably

[name]: it'll hurt a lot but it'd hurt more later so

Yachi: why did you ask for a council if you weren't going to listen to what we had to say??

Yachi: omg that came out totaly ewrong I'm sorry

Yachi: *totally **wrong

Yachi: …[surname]-chan?

~

Lunchtime comes and you barely register it. You've spent the day feeling nauseous. Far too nauseous to eat, at any rate. You stare out the window, mentally calculating the distance to the ground. Yachi tried to talk to you once or twice all day, including an apology for something she said in the group chat last night, but you'd shrugged it off. The good news is, you're starting to feel numb.

The bad news comes in the form of a pretty girl's thighs resting on your desk in the corner of your vision.

Satsuki found out fast.

"You wanna tell me why the fuck Hitomi-chan's telling me you got a boyfriend?"

"Genuinely, I do not know who Hitomi-chan is," you reply dully, unable to look at her.

"Asuka's older sister."

"Oh." You shrug. "Probably because I've lost control of my life."

A hand grabs your jaw roughly, jerks you to look into Satsuki's eyes. She softens a little as you stare back at her. "Why are you going out with him?"

"I don't know."

"You realize that Yuu's going to be completely heartbroken?"

You barely manage a nod. "I kept telling him something like this would happen. He refused to listen."

"You could have just told the guy you didn't want to go out with him."

"Sometimes I know something's going to hurt me and everyone I care about and I do it anyway because, quite genuinely, I am not in control."

"Okay, so break up with Asuka."

You shrug. "I think it's safer like this. Noya—Nishinoya would leave me completely destroyed if we ever dated and it didn't work out."

"Oh, don't you start dropping nicknames now, missy."

Another shrug.

"I get you've been through some shit, but—I mean, come on, [name]-chan. Who are you protecting, here? You look like shit."

"I also feel like shit. It gets worse before it gets better."

"So what's the fucking point?"

"You seem really determined to figure out why I'm self-destructing and ruining my life. I think you'd probably need a psych degree to get anywhere productive, though."

Satsuki's eyes narrow. "I'm determined to figure out why you spent a month literally sleeping in my little brother's arms and then started dating some messy baseball player instead."

You could do without the broadcasting. You don't have much energy to try to stop it. "Messy?"

"Three girls last year alone. I tracked them down. Two of them were at the same time, [name]-chan. Even setting aside my obvious bias, he doesn't exactly have a good track record."

…eh. You don't deserve much better.

"…just… look after your brother for me, okay? I know the timing is rough for him, and I'm sorry about that."

"I should fucking hit you for this."

"Do it," you reply with another shrug. "Send me out that window while you're at it."

"[name]-chan."

"Consider all this doing him a favor. I'm fundamentally broken. He deserves someone who can actually be there for him."

"You—augh!" She slams her fist on the desk hard enough to jolt it before hopping off. "I don't know why you're so convinced you're some horrible person who doesn't deserve to be happy, but you need to stop dragging other people into it. Text me when you want to come to your fucking senses."

~

Satsuki to Yuu at 12:52

Satsuki: where are you?

Yuu: why?

Satsuki: where are you

Yuu: 2-4. I'm bothering chikara

Satsuki: stay there. I'm gonna come find you

Yuu: ?

~

"Alright, spill."

Yuu fights the urge to sigh. "Hi, Satsuki. Do I get context now?"

"What happened between the two of you?"

He shrugs. Avoids eye contact. "Can we do this later?"

"No, we can't, and don't shrug at me." Satsuki slams a hand on the desk. "Why is she dating him?"

His blood ices in an instant. Beside him, Ryuu chokes on his lunch. "What?"

"Why. Is she. Dating him."

"Since when? Who said—"

"According to baseball bitch's sister, and as of yesterday."

…shit. He really did fuck this one up.

"What happened between you two? You were fucking glued at the hip before last week, and I know it's not because of the thing."

"I don't wanna talk about it," Yuu mumbles. His voice doesn't really sound like his suddenly.

"Too bad. Talk about it."

"N-Nishinoya-san, maybe you should—"

Satsuki glares harshly at Hisashi. "We're talking. Unless you have insight on the situation, I don't want to hear it."

"We're not talking."

"I talked to her to confirm before I came here, Yuu. She looks fucking miserable. You know what she said when I tried to get answers?"

He's not sure he can handle it. "Don't, Nee-san."

She glares something awful. A lesser man might not have been able to handle it, but Yuu's known Satsuki his whole life and can probably take it if she hits him. He'd probably deserve it, too.

"Fine. But you're coming home tonight, you're not staying at practice obscenely late, and you're talking to us. And if you try to skip out—it's hair night, by the way, so good luck walking around with your hair all fucked up for the next few months if you skip—I'm showing up in that gym and dragging you home. Got it?"

"Sure."

She storms out in a huff. Later, when he's had the time to take it in, he'll probably be angry. Probably break something. Probably snap when Satsuki inevitably drags the story out of him.

For now, Yuu tunes out the world. Ignores the questions from the other second years. Shrugs it off when Tsukishima, of all people, asks him about it before practice. Wades through the day.

~

Noya to [name] at 13:04

Noya: did you seriously start going out with that guy?

Noya: tell me this is one of your tests

[name]: im so sorry [message not sent]

~

The guys know by the end of the day.

Based on the timing of the text you got earlier, you assume Satsuki told Noya and perhaps the other guys, not that you need to know the flow of information. If Satsuki hadn't, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi could have heard from Asuka in class. Yachi or Shimizu could have mentioned it to Noya or to one of the other guys, who would have passed it on. No matter how it happened, the fact is that the guys are looking at you differently now.

You're a heartbreaker, you guess.

There's questions in their eyes. Noya, on the other hand, won't even look at you. You keep your head down and pretend like you're fine. You're not letting relationship drama get in the way of your work as a manager.

You told Noya a thousand times that he'd get hurt chasing you. Maybe now he'll actually believe you.

~

Asuka to [name] at 20:20

Asuka: do you wanna go on a date next weekend? I'd like to take you out if you're down

~

[name] to Asuka at 20:42

[name]: i cant do this [message not sent]

[name]: i'd love to! :) let me know when

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @kazunish

[nightmarebeforenewsiesau]

If you haven’t already shared, what’s Spot’s backstory?

...This one has some trigger warnings. Here's the grocery list.

ABUSE LIKE A LOT

FAMILY/RELIGIOUS TRAUMA

THE SALEM WITH TRIALS?? SORTA??

(Slight) internalized homophobia

A HAPPY TREE FREINDS SOUNDING ASS SLOW DEATH

Yeah this little guy has it bad

-

Sean Patrick, more commonly known to his friends as "Spot" in death due to his good aim with a slingshot, is a mystery to many. Few know what he was when he was alive, and those who do have been sworn to secrecy. From now forth you are one of these trusted individuals... he trusts that you will keep this a secret. And if not, well.... we may say he carries that cane around for a reason, and it's not for mobility. At least, far from it anymore.

You see, Spot Conlon was never some fearful king. He never lived a lavish life, was never the top of anything... and he was certainly treated as less than a king, even as far as less than a person. His own father, a prominent figure in the community, was the cause of this. While in public he treated Spot wonderfully, but at home became quite a different story. While, yes, Spot's name in the afterlife is attributed to his slingshot skills, neither Spot nor his friends were the ones to come up with it. It was his father, calling him it as an insult due to the various spots from cigarette burns up his arms.

Spot's father was a very righteous, religious, set in his ways man. He could never be swayed, never convinced of any idea that wasn't his own. He said the lower class only were there for pity, that all those richer than him were swaying the elections. He said that friendship is a waste of time and that if a man didn't have money nor a reputation he had nothing. He said that any man who didn't get himself a wife was a fool and that if he didn't raise his children right, to be just like him, they were a disgrace... what he clearly considered Spot to be. So Spot tried... he really did. He wore long sleeves, did his hair nicer, started using ametur makeup stolen from his mother to hide the various marks, scrapes, and bruises on his skin. He stopped talking, and more started just arguing. But nothing seemed to please his father, who was growing more angry with him every day.

The witch trials of the 1600s were many centuries past, mostly out of everyone's minds. Spot had read a book on them in school, but the thought never quite crossed his mind again. After all, witches and demons and the like were all fake, in his mind. But there were still many adamant believers- one man in the late 1870s beat his wife to death, believing she'd been taken and replaced with a witch. Even though it was no longer punishable by court, certain groups learned to take it upon themselves.

One day, Spot had found that his skin had uncomfortably dried out, so he put a small amount of Vaseline (yes that existed in 1899 google it) on his arm. If he hadn't done this, maybe things would have been different. But most knew this was coming. His father, mad about something or other, tried to burn Spot's arm, only to find that he couldn't- his son's arm wouldn't burn.

Spot didn't think anything of it when his Father brought him to what he called a "get together" that night... he found it strange that they chose to hold it in a forest quite a distance away, but knew better than to ask. He fell asleep on the way there. He was only awoken when a gag was shoved in his mouth and rocks- heavy, crushing ones- began falling onto his back. He heard the cracks and horrible sounds his bones were making- unfortunately he was conscious to hear most of them.

His father, a part of one of these firm groups of believers, believed his own son was a witch, and that he'd casted a spell to prevent his skin from burning. He was the one to drop the last rock, right onto Spot's face.

-

In death, Spot rarely takes off his mask, since the rock to his face disfigured it a slight amount. And he still flinches everytime Race's cigar accidentally gets too close to him, or when Albert collects rocks and brings them back to their home. He still hears his father's voice every once in a while scolding him for not being with a woman or focusing on getting a wife... and sometimes he almost believes that his father was right. He always comes back to his senses though, after an hour or two. In death he built up the reputation of a king, a legend, the one he couldn't achieve in life. And he accepts the treatment he knows even his father would be jealous of, because that's all he was raised to want.

Not even Race and Spot know the story of how he died. Neither does anyone else... and I trust you won't tell them. Or, I at least hope you won't. Where there's a king, there's an army.... and I know two very brutal individuals who know very well how to fight, and would go after you the minute Spot sheds a single tear. Best be careful.

[yourpalmickeymouse]

Hello again, Mickey! Wasn't planning on asking a question again so soon, but there was one in particular on my mind that has me curious. I'm not sure if anyone has asked about it before, so apologies if you've talked about it, but how exactly did you meet Mortimer Mouse? In other words, what's the origin of your beef?

Hiya angrysausage,

It's always great to get a question from you.

You wanna learn more 'bout Mortimer huh? Mortimer...

I think I already shared 'bout my feelin's on him, but I only briefly brushed on how we met in the first place. I s'pose I could give a l'il bit more detail, just for you fellas. 😉

Well, it started many years ago, back when I... was in Mouseton Middle School. Oh boy, was that a time of hormones and high emotions🙄. Now I know for many people middle school was a bit of a tough time. And it was. But it wasn't like that for me... at first.

I wasn't super popular, but I remember bein' generally liked by everyone. I was kinda the class clown of my year and fell into the role of keepin' everythin' fun and makin' everyone feel good and laugh. Sure, I got in trouble once or twice for goin' a bit too far, but nothin' too bad and my teachers even seem to enjoy havin' me 'round. Now, Donald was still in Duckburg and Goofy, Horace, and Clarabelle went to a different school in Mouseton. So my inner friend group during school mostly consisted of Minnie and... Gosh, who else. There was another kid. He was my partner in crime when it came to pranks. Chucky? Chester? I dunno. I'll have to ask Minnie. The point is things were good. That is... until HE arrived.

Ya see, halfway through my first year, my class was introduced to a new kid who moved here with his family. You can take a guess on who that kid was. But he was actually really different at first. He was shy and nervous. He sorta kept to himself and ate by himself durin' lunchtime. Though, it didn't help that he tripped when introducin' himself in homeroom, which probably hurt his first impression with the other kids. But of course, Minnie and I felt really bad for the guy and decided to invite him to our group to hang out. Which ended up bein' a HUGE mistake.

Now the problems didn't start immediately. For the first couple of weeks, we actually were a solid friend group and I really thought that we were friends. But then like a switch, he just suddenly changed overnight. Mortimer just started to treat me differently. What was once playful teasin' turned into targeted bullyin'. Things that I told the group in secret, ended up at every corner of the lunch room. Mortimer even just straight stopped hangin' out with me and the other kid (Chidi?), cold turkey, and would only hang out with Minnie and a couple of other snobby kids.

And that's not bringin' up every single time I would do somethin', he would immediately try to upstage me, which was really easy givin' how much money he had. I remember when I drew a sketch for Minnie to help her feel better, he hired a professional artist to paint her portrait. He would humiliate and make fun of me constantly. And downplay all my achievements. And try to convince all my friends to leave me. And... actually, everything he still does now. Before I knew it, I felt less like a class clown and more like the butt of the joke. Middle school went from an okay experience to a nightmare. Luckily by high school, I was able to have more friends 'round like Donald, Goofy, Clarabelle, Horace, and even Clara who had my back.

I, to this day, am still at a loss for what happened. I don't think I said anythin' hurtful or did anythin' to upset him. Maybe it was hormones, but he still acts the same way as an adult. Maybe it was all part of his nefarious plan to begin with. The only plausible thing I can think of is that maybe he saw me as a threat when it came to Minnie. He seemed to get along with her the quickest. But we weren't datin' at the time. I don't even think I had a word for what feelin's I had for her. But maybe he sensed somethin' and pulled every trick in the book to get Minnie to date him before she could even date me. It didn't last very long. But it still hurt givin' how awful he was to me... and Minnie didn't seem to take that into consideration.

Well, I feel like I'm startin' to get into a weird territory 😅. I think I'm gonna stop here before we go too deep. But I hope this reveals at least a little bit more detail on what happened.

- M.M.

[hanafubukki]

Hello hello I just saw that you answered my ask about royalty!Yuu x Lilia (I was distracted by fields of mistria and delico's nursery) and I'm surprised that not only you but a lot of other people liked it 🥹

I saw someone talking in the tags and wanna add on some extra stuff:

-Even if Malmal becomes king Lilia still outranks him because Lilia is now emperor consort akskshddhsjn

-Yuu's world has magic, the magic however relies less on tools and more on biology and training (sorta like bending in avatar) it also has magical creatures (dragons, kelpies,harpies,etc)

-Succession depends on if the young monarch is capable of taming said creatures or not, if they pass the test only then can they start taking classes for subjects that will help them run the empire

-The moment the worlds merged all Yuu's friends started interrogating them about their past and status and Yuu is looking at them like that one hamster meme with the sad violin

"you've been royalty this whole time and never made a fuss about the way you're being treated in that dorm?"

"I didn't think it'd matter since this is a different world 🥺"

-I HC that since the world of twst has many monarchies and a nobility system it also has special laws for how students with royal status must be treated to enable both respect and neutrality

-The moment Yuu's status was publicly shared both sides of the the worlds went insane because on Yuu's side it was believed that Yuu, the people's monarch, was kidnapped but now there's an announcement for their upcoming engagement????? That will be followed by a wedding then coronation???? And on the twst side there's this new empire that has tamed dragons and other beasts that LITERALLY CAME OUT OF NOWHERE and has foreign magic right next door, but don't worry because apparently the monarch is going to marry some Fae???? so everything is fine

"there goes my freedom.."

"Dude- uh.. your highness, with all due respect, shouldn't you worry more about your side starting a war if you don't set the record straight? They seem very on edge."

"It's fine just call me Yuu as you always have, Ace. No there won't be a war, I already sent a message so a small delegation will arrive and I'll explain to them"

"does that mean we won't see you anymore?"

"of course not Deuce, I'll still be here and I'll fight to finish my studies... I just need to prepare what I'll tell them. I can't let them know about- oh my goodness! Lilia! I can never let them know about him as is!"

"why not?"

"From what I've seen this world believes in true love... My family does not and never will. Lilia could make a good marriage candidate because he's a retired general, but I can never let them know that he courted me. My family holds the sentiment that love clouds judgement and if you try to rule your empire with rose tinted glasses you'll be blind to any faults your partner would make at the expense of the people."

"I see, then Ace and I as well as our friends can help you guys out! We'll relay they message to Cater so he can tell Lilia and be on watch for any posts that could out you guys. You can count on us!"

"You guys would do that? Thank you so much. We just have to keep it up until the wedding because royal marriages are difficult to annul so it can't be contested, And seeing how I'm drowning in letters, they probably will speed through the wedding to get to the coronation "

"we'll let them know"

"wait if you guys got married does that make silver a prince?"

"Ace!"

"okay okay! I'm coming! Yeesh"

"Can't believe you're relying on those idiots"

"Be nice Grim. If they do as they say you'll be the ring bearer aaand you'll have more tuna than you could ever dream of"

"oooh I'm sold! Wait if I'm the ring guy then who's the flower person?"

"that'll be Sebek"

"oh you're mean hehehe"

Aaaaa this was an ooc mess but I really wanted to infodump

[referring to this ask]

Hello Empress Anonie 💚🌺💕

I'm happy many other's enjoyed your ask 💕💚 It's so cute. Also, Yessss another one who love's Delico Nursery 🥰💕 I haven't played fields of mistra but have friends who love it.

Going to call you empress anonie 💕💚

Yuu: My status means nothing, treat me the same.

Also Yuu: Shit, my love life needs to be a secret.

😂😂😂 Sebek is the flower boy is so cute. I can imagine him not knowing how to treat yuu either after the revelation too.

Silver is a prince....well, everyone thought he was always princely lolol

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

extract from my journal #??

i have had a few experiences in the past years being the "quiet innocent and studious" girl that teachers would seat with the "bad violent and backbench" boys hoping i would be a "good influence" or smth. one of those times was a few weeks into 6th grade with this new kid and i ended up being sorta friends with him. Sometimes I thought he was only talking to me cuz i would do his homework (me being the nerd i was genuinely liked doing it, like i was literally the one who offered). but i mean he used to share his food and stationery with me and in those times that was like the literal height of affection you could show your friends (still is tbh), that and getting to know each other in the middle of the class, which we also did quite a lot, so much so that teachers thought that he was being a “bad influence” on me. he moved schools the next year and then ~online classes~ but writing this i realize he was in fact a nice friend, just prone to getting in fights but the more i payed attention the more that i realized the other kids would rile him up and make fun of him because he didn't grow up in india and didn't know much about the culture. basically he was picked on because he was foreign and had a different accent and most middle school kids are very monstrous creatures with a surprisingly high lack of self awareness. once i got to know him he was a really nice person honestly. students didn't like him because he was different and teachers didn't like him because he wasn't a topper. i don’t even remember his name. i remember that he hated english grammar. i remember that his dad was german. i remember his lunchboxes. i remember his face. but i don’t remember his name?? something beginning with ‘s’ i think..