#and stede really coming into himself and his confidence and his love

[natjennie]

if you'll grant me some nsfw for a moment, stede would soft dom ed so fucking good I know it in my bones. ed's all babygirl eyes and desperation to please and all he wants is to make stede feel good, prove that he can, prove that he's good, prove that he won't ruin it. and stede loves so much he's so considerate even when he's a little shortsighted, a little naive. he's all praise and guidance and tenderly stern insistence that ed IS good. he is kind and he is smart and he is deserving and he is lovable and he is allowed to feel good and be happy. they're both down so bad and yeah maybe there's some miscommunication and some steps in the wrong direction but they're gonna get there together and they're gonna be so GOOD for each other.

[jellybeanium124]

I love how like, every major character in ofmd is min-maxed. like they each have 1 or a couple of things they're really fucking good at and then outside of that they are very bad at most things. there's stede and his sky high confidence and willingness to learn vs. his naiveté and ineptitude and -8 self-esteem. ed's great at being a pirate and coming up with clever schemes but as soon as plan A fails he resigns himself to death. frenchie can plot and scheme and code switch but also can't use a hammer. jim has their knives and zero emotional intelligence. izzy has his sword and zero creativity or leadership skills or anything else really. pete can whittle and that's literally it. lucius can read and write and play therapist and it's only because reading and writing were in high demand for stede that he landed a job in the world of piracy. roach... ok roach can cook and sort of be a surgeon which is pretty damn impressive honestly. wee john can sew. buttons is also a bit of an outlier since he's an all-around talented pirate. the swede... bless him but so far he's got nothing. ok like yeah maybe not all of them are perfectly min-maxed but a lot of them are and I love it. cringefail only good at 1 thing loser representation

EDIT: I know the swede can sing I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭 I'm so sorry I forgot your beautiful voice babygirl please you can stop yelling at me about this now I know and I'm sorry 😭

[lightbluetown]

looking back, i'm still really happy with izzy's death. a lot of different opinions have been floating around and, hey, this is mine. hell, his death is one of the main reasons i love this season so much

because season 2 is about ed reclaiming his own identity. he has to become the worst version of blackbeard in order to eventually become the best version of ed. ever since the very beginning he's been yearning for blackbeard's death. yet "blackbeard" isn't just ed's dark side-- it's a two-man-team with ed as the face and izzy holding the reins

in his final moments, izzy admits that he saw the façade of "blackbeard" as a shelter for his relationship with ed. a place where he was guaranteed to have control, where someone would always need him. he did everything in his power to protect "blackbeard" so that nothing could get in between what he had with ed

but "blackbeard" was always a ticking time bomb. not only did izzy not listen to ed, he didn't let ed listen to his own self. he used ed's weaknesses to serve his own interests. it was just a loop of izzy hurting ed and ed hurting him back, but izzy desperately needed to maintain this. it was all he had

and here's my favorite detail in this scene: right after he says this line is when stede comes back on deck. the weird fancy man who came out of nowhere and freed ed from the shackles of "blackbeard", who inadvertently destroyed izzy's world, silently walks in the background as izzy says:

he sees it now. as he told stede at jackie'z, he sees that stede is good for ed and that they balance each other out. he sees that loving stede is the best thing that's happened to ed. the darkness in ed that created "blackbeard" died during the storm and ed slowly started finding himself thanks to stede. sure, their relationship is awkward, but it's looking promising. izzy doesn't have a "blackbeard" to guard or to guide anymore. as he lets death drag him away, he's happy to take the last bit of "blackbeard" with him so ed can be completely free. having received so much love from his new family aboard the revenge, izzy is able to give ed and stede his blessing. it's a beautiful declaration of acceptance, repentance and encouragement

izzy, as a character, serves ed, who himself isn't even the main protagonist. for a supporting character to have an entire season build up to his death, all while allowing him to grow into the most comfortable and confident man he's ever been... getting to have closure and make amends... in my opinion, that's the greatest honor

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Thinking about how much Ed and Stede still have to learn about each other. The show makes it clear they get each other, they understand each other better than anyone else does. But these boys have so much healing to do still, even now that they both know they're all in.

I still don't think Stede really fully grasps just how low Ed was, how he was so utterly convinced he was unloveable that he was ready to die. Ed is so used to accepting the worst other people have to offer him, it's going to feel weird when he gets nothing but softness and understanding and unconditional love from Stede! I wouldn't be surprised if he struggles with it - something about how the anger and shouting and violence he's used to were at least predictable, and now he feels out of his element.

And Ed doesn't know just how deep Stede's self-worth issues lay, that Stede is used to other people never valuing him. Stede often comes across as so confident (he's got "fake-it-till-you-make-it" down to an art), it's easy to forget he's used to putting himself down and was so ready to believe everything Chauncey told him back in s1e9. Stede's going to really have to work at confronting these deep-seated beliefs he has about himself, especially now he's got a boyfriend who treasures his every word.

And I'm thinking about Stede telling Ed about the cursed suit: "it's a long story" (and I don't want to bore you, because I bore everyone, so I'll skip to the end), and Ed all but pouting when he says "that wasn't a long story at all" (you couldn't bore me, I want to hear everything you have to say). They'll be alright.

[theshippirate22]

I have a theory

listen up bitches (gender neutral) (affectionate) i’ve been cooking this for an incredibly long time and i’m very very excited to share it but it is gonna be long so i’m putting it under a cut

my theory is that there has been a new set of archetypes created by popular m/m media either in canon or coding and i would love if it was more widely recognized by a distinct name so here we go:

I present to you: The Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill Boyfriends™️ Theory

i need to preface this by saying that i am absolutely not an english major or expert but i have done so much analysis that i’m 98% positive i’m on to something here

so usually mlm ships- at least in my experience- get boiled down into typical Grumpy x Sunshine, Golden Retriever x Black Cat, or like. Babygirl x Badass. and i hate that because those are like really watered down hetero romance stereotypes and i think queer people deserve to get our own archetypes instead of trying to force queer characters into prepaid boxes but that’s a story for another day so:

basically, all content with widely accepted mlm ships (even if they are more in coding than in canon) has this pattern with the ship that fits into Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill

(name pending- open to suggestions)

Boyfriend No.1 of course is the epitome of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift (i know, i know. bear with me here). He’s constantly trying to prove himself and his worth and usually he’s driven to hide or overcome 1-3 specific and intense insecurities/character flaws. He often has innate loyalty to a system or person who has repeatedly abused/neglected/abandoned him and thinks that this treatment is a result of his own character rather than a reflection of the abuser. In relation to the plot and audience, this is the “more dangerous” of the two because he’s so desperate to hold onto the status quo that he’ll often act in a way that makes things more difficult for himself, often by leaving Boyfriend No. 2, sacrificing himself, or doing “the wrong thing.” He also commonly has an older male figure that is breathing down his neck constantly, haunting his perceived inadequacies, and fueling his self-loathing. He’s constantly mischaracterized because he’s either boiled down to “the silly one” or a visage of his trauma and the people that relate to love these characters are usually extremely sad people. Usually this character is also the “mean girl” of the couple.

Examples of the Mirrorball boyfriend: Dean Winchester, Aziraphale, Stede Bonnet, Lucius Spriggs, Sherlock Holmes, Eddie Munson, Mike Wheeler, Prince Rupert, etc.

Boyfriend No. 2 then, is the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend, based of course, on the song by the same name by the perfect Kate Bush. He’s the one that’s seen The Horrors™️ and gained a layer of cynicism that Mirrorball doesn’t have. He was once loyal to something that used/hurt him but he rejected it and used his newfound freedom to restructure his entire personality and reach his much higher potential. Usually, he has passed so far from having a few insecurities to perceiving himself as utterly worthless and unlovable but he’s so convinced that it doesn’t even haunt him, he just goes with it and usually comes off looking overly-confident or cocky. This is The Bitch (affectionate)™️. There’s probably a scene of him covered in blood. This is The Girls’ favorite blorbo and ultimate whump. He tends to be really good with kids and he’s the kind of character that would and often has to CLAW a life out for himself by his fingernails.

Examples of the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend: Castiel, Crowley, Ed Teach, Black Pete, John Watson, Steve Harrington, Will Byers, Prince Amir, etc.

unfortunately i haven’t seen a lot of popular queer stuff so if you can think of other mlm or mlm shaped characters that fit into these archetypes please please please tell me

i’m specifically curious about:

-Hannigram (Hannibal)

-Buddy (911) (@criminally-obsessed if you would mind weighing in but obviously no pressure)

-Lokius (Loki) (@henderdads same thing)

-Any of the marauders but specifically WolfStar

-Stucky (MCU)

-RWRB (i’m so sorry i don’t remember the guys’ names)

-Nick and Charlie (Heartstopper)

-What We Do In the Shadows has one I think?

-literally anyone else please and thank you 🙏🙏 love you all

if you want like explicit examples of each piece for a character lmk for sure because i could talk about this all day long

[sarucane]

OFMD Spiral Parallels 22: Ed Leaves Stede

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.

---

While the big break-up of OFMD happens when Stede stands Ed up in S1E9, Ed actually breaks up with Stede twice. It's just that those break ups are smaller: both times, Ed is entirely serious about leaving, and both times, he's back within 25 minutes of screen time. This happens because Ed is bailing out to pre-emptively avoid rejection, trying to protect himself. Trouble is, he doesn't actually have a firm understanding of who "himself," is, or why he thinks he's unworthy of Stede's care. However, he does have a firm understanding of how much he cares about Stede, and that brings him right back both times.

When Ed leaves Stede to go with Jack, he does so because he thinks it's true to his "nature." Jack's carefully brought out some of the worst aspects of Ed, including his carelessness about pain and his desire to avoid meaningful relationships. Ed's insecurities about being "unlovable" transform Stede's earlier expressions of concern about Ed's behavior into a condemnation, justifying his departure. It was never going to last, he was never "right" (good enough) for Stede, so might as well break it off now.

In contrast, while what Ed feared before was his identity was too fixed, in season 2 he runs from Stede in the fear that his identity is too fluid.

Rather than deal with that and the uncertainty it creates in their relationship, Ed conjures a new identity out of thin air, and again uses that to justify the idea that he and Stede shouldn't be together.

Ed's identity issues are serious things that need to be dealt with, but him cutting off his relationship with Stede is really just a display of insecurity. He doesn't try to talk about what's happening, he just panics. He gets caught up in himself and his insecurities, and too scared to trust Stede to love "everything about him."

Until something knocks him out of this anxiety loop.

Because underneath all that insecurity, Ed does love Stede very deeply. And while Stede is confused Ed's departures, both times he forgives Ed easily.

Because when Ed comes back, it's as an expression of concern. And what that shows is that neither of these break-ups were about Stede or Ed's feelings for him. Stede knows a thing or two about insecurity and what it can drive people to do. Those lessons were hard to learn--but that knowledge, along with the confidence that Ed loves him (as demonstrated by how hard he works and how much he pays to get back to Stede) make it easy for him to forgive, and move forward.

[collinrobinsonsglasses]

Hello there!!

Really adore your "Too Soft to be a Pirate" work!! It's beyond incredible! I can't thank you for such a lovely piece!

Saw your requests are open, so here's my silly little thought:

Izzy Hands x Reader. Mutual pining. Fluff.

Besides being a certified badass, Reader is also a skilled artist. Stede, ever the enjoyer of art, buys the necessary supplies. Here come the portraits, landscapes and so on.

During some moment of quiet on the ship, Izzy is looking for the Reader and finds them in one of the somewhat secluded rooms of the Revenge, making a portrait of Mr. Hands himself.

They talk their pining through as a crew. Maybe even kiss about it lol.

Thank you for you works once again <3

Thank you for all the kind words @imchloefuckingprice-blog <3 I wrote the first part of this in Lucius's point of view, because he's the best when two people don't know how to express their feelings. I hope this was what you were looking for.

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

Masterlist

A Brush of Fate

Lucius prided himself on his keen observational skills. After all, he had recognized Stede and Ed’s feelings for each other long before they did. Now, his perceptive gaze focused on the unmistakable connection between you and Izzy. One night, while Lucius sketched and you painted, you opened up to him about your feelings for Izzy. Despite Lucius reassurances, you remained unsure about Izzy reciprocating your emotions. You insisted to Lucius that Izzy was still caught up in his feelings for Blackbeard. However, Lucius saw Izzy’s lingering gaze directed toward you from across the deck, noting his subtle attentiveness as he went out of his way to help you with tasks around the ship.

The more Lucius thought about the relationship between you and Izzy, the more it seemed to fall into place. Your undeniable skill with a sword and adept sailing skills meant you never pissed Izzy off like the other members of Bonnet’s crew. You were a certified badass and your artistic talents formed a quick bond between you and Lucius. You were Lucius’s favorite person on board, second only to Black Pete. Lucius believed Izzy would have to be an idiot not to have feelings for you. However, in Lucius’s opinion, Izzy frequently displayed behaviors that bordered on idiocy. 

“What are you working on today, babes?” Lucius inquired with a smirk as he entered the former ballroom, closing the door behind him. Lucius already knew the answer, observing a subtle shade of red flash across your face. 

In response, you turned the easel to face him and the doorway. Lucius gazed upon the beautiful portrait of Izzy hands before him, experiencing a pang of pity for its painter. 

As a thought crossed Lucius’s mind, he burst into laughter. “I can’t imagine what Stede would say if he knew you were using the paint supplies he bought you to create that. I feel like he would have a conniption.” 

After laying eyes on one of your small paintings, Stede had purchased supplies for you, hoping you would help replace the artworks lost on The Revenge during the era of the kraken. He confided in both you and Lucius, expressing his desire to make the ship feel like home once again. He wanted things to get back to normal and to help Edward feel comfortable. 

“I made those for Stede,” you remarked, and Lucius followed your finger to two paintings leaning against the ship wall to dry. One depicted The Revenge, and Lucius couldn’t help but marvel at the delicate details of the ship, rolling his eyes at your undeniable talent. The other showcased Ed, dressing in his exquisite purple attire from the night of the fancy party. You even included the tiny purple bows adorning his beard. 

“He’ll actually love those,” Lucius huffed, surprised to find no sarcastic comment to direct at the paintings. Playfully, he rested his chin on your shoulder from behind as you both admired the portrait of Izzy. “Now, who will this portrait go to?” Lucius teased. 

“No one. I’ll probably paint over it once I’m done.” 

“Why are you painting it then?” Lucius asked, disappointment evident in his tone. The portrait was beautiful, and he hoped you would give it to Izzy, finally admitting your true feelings. 

“I thought that if I painted Izzy, his face would get out of my head,” you replied quietly, and Lucius couldn’t help but hear the vulnerability in your voice. 

Lucius empathized with that line of thinking, but in a slightly different way. He recalled how he had sketched Blackbeard’s face for weeks, only to be snapped out of it by Black Pete. “I get that,” Lucius replied, pursing his lips and scrunching his face, before lifting his sketchbook to reveal one of the many drawings of Blackbeard. 

He observed the relief that washed over your face at being understood, forming a smile at the drawings. “Flower Blackbeard was my favorite,” you chuckled.

“Maybe…” Lucius lingered, playfully bumping his hip into yours. “You should give Izzy the painting, and that’ll get him out of your head” he suggested with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

You responded with a sarcastic laugh, accompanied by a roll of your eyes. Lucius dropped his playful expression, reciprocating with a roll of his eyes. Deep down, he just wanted you to be happy. Over the past few weeks, Izzy had grown on him, and while he may not have thought Izzy deserved you, it was clear that he was always occupying your thoughts. 

“I’ll leave you to moping and painting then,” Lucius said, patting your shoulder before heading out of the ballroom with a clear objective in mind. 

He found Izzy in the hallway leading to the captain’s quarters, gazing at one of your new paintings Stede had just hung up. This sight caused Lucius to smirk; he knew he was right about how Izzy felt about you. Determined to push you two together, he decided he would do everything he could to make it happen. Lucius was tired of seeing you unhappy when all that seemed necessary was to talk it through. 

“Pretty good, right?” Lucius slid into the spot next to Izzy, crossing his arms and directing his gaze at the painting. The painting depicted a simple sunset over the water, yet it radiated a quiet beauty. 

Izzy only replied with a grunt, clearly annoyed that Lucius had caught him staring at your painting. 

“I didn’t know you were such a lover of art, Iggy,” Lucius continued, attempting to poke at him further. “You and Stede must have so much to discuss.” 

“What the fuck do you want, twatty?” Izzy snapped in response. 

“There’s a leak in the ballroom,” Despite his usual quick-witted nature, he knew this lie lacked conviction. 

“Why the fuck is that my problem?” Izzy grumbled. 

“Blackbeard told me to tell you, so you could fix it.” Lucius’s arms involuntarily squeezed more tightly across his chest as he lied, but he tried to relax once he noticed. 

“Well… you told me, so fuck off.” 

“Oh, absolutely,” Lucius quickly retreated from the conversation, hoping his lie was convincing enough to get Izzy to go where he needed him. Lucius perched himself on one of the mast tops, carefully watching the direction Izzy departed. When he noticed Izzy heading toward the ballroom, Lucius bit his lip with anticipation. 

⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓

Izzy slowly wandered down the hallway, heading towards the ballroom, frustrated at being the one who always had to fix the ship’s problems. He was even more annoyed by Lucius teasing him about you. He couldn’t help but stare at your painting. It was beautiful, just like you. If it was so obvious to Lucius how Izzy felt about you, then you must be aware of it too. Perhaps it was some inside joke between the two of you. Izzy had held feelings for you for quite some time now, witnessing how you found beauty in the small details that most people would overlook. Your ability to turn the mundane into lovely paintings had captivated him, and with each stroke of your brush, his admiration for you grew. 

Feeling discouraged, Izzy had almost decided to give up on his feelings for you when he opened the door to the ballroom and found you immersed in painting. He was taken aback for a moment, not realizing that this was where you created your art, and then confused about why Lucius had sent him here. There were no visible leaks in sight. That’s when he saw a portrait of himself staring back at him. His jaw dropped as he tried to understand the meaning behind the painting. 

“Fuck off, Lucius,” he heard you say as you continued to paint, not turning towards the sound of the door opening. Izzy contemplated whether he should leave, feeling like he had interrupted a private moment. However, in his moment of indecision, you turned around to face him. Izzy observed your eyes widen in surprise, followed by your cheeks blushing a deep shade of scarlet. “You’re not Lucius,” you whispered quietly, regaining your composure. 

Izzy tried to rack his brain, attempting to find a reason why you would be painting him, but he couldn’t come up with a single explanation. A moment of silence stretched between you both as you stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak. Izzy glanced over at the two other paintings in the room. “Are these for Bonnet?” he questioned, gesturing towards all the paintings. 

“Those two are. This one is just something I’m doing for fun,” you replied, and Izzy sensed the nervousness in your demeanor as you spoke. 

“Why?” Izzy inquired. 

“I feel like you have a face that’s worth being painted,” you whispered. 

Izzy didn’t know how to respond to your words; they seemed sincere, but this whole scenario didn’t make sense to him. Why did Lucius send him here? Taking a moment to examine you, he noticed you were in an old, oversized shirt covered in paint. As he gazed at your face, he observed a bit of paint smeared across your nose. He wasn’t sure what information he was trying to glean, but he also enjoyed just looking at you. 

Realizing he had been staring at you for too long without a response, Izzy quickly found his words. “Lucius told me there was a leak in this room.” 

Izzy watched your face contort from one of nervousness to annoyance. 

“Of course he did,” you snapped. Izzy observed as you dropped the paintbrush onto a nearby stoll where your paint sat, glancing towards the door as if you were going to find Lucius yourself to teach him a lesson. “There’s no leak, Izzy.” 

Finally, the pieces snapped together in Izzy’s mind. Lucius’s teasing remark and him sending Izzy to find you painting a picture of him–it was all part of a big joke, and he realized he was the butt of it. Izzy felt anger rising within him. He never expected you to treat him like this, and the revelation left him feeling both hurt and surprised. 

“Oh, I see. You and Mr. Spriggs are joking around and wasting my time,” Izzy spat as he began to turn towards the door to leave. 

“Wait, Iz.” Izzy felt your light grip on his arm, pausing at your touch. “Lucius knows how I feel about you, so I think this was his way of forcing me to tell you. I’m not trying to waste your time or play a joke on you.” 

“How do you feel about me?” Izzy whispered quickly. He felt his demeanor instantly soften and turned back towards you. 

“I like you, Israel Hands,” you said steadily, your big eyes gazing into his, seeming to search for any sort of reaction. 

When he gave none, you grabbed Izzy’s hand, leading him towards the painting, gesturing to your work as you spoke. “On the outside, ruggedly handsome, worn by the sea, tough but your eyes… There’s a gentleness you can see in your eyes. The way they soften when you talk about something you love, the subtle warmth they hold when you smile. I like you because I see a complexity in you, Izzy– a blend of strength and tenderness that intrigues me.” 

Izzy turned towards you, prompting you to face him. His fingers reached up to gently trace the paint on your nose. You closed your eyes at his touch, opening them to meet his gaze once his hand fell from your face. “Paint?” you asked in a soft whisper. 

“I like how you look… even with paint on your face. Especially with paint on your face.” Izzy confessed, his tone tender. “I like you.” 

Izzy gazed down, captivated, as a sweet smile stretched across your face. His eyes lingered on your lips, attempting to memorize their shape and color. A silent anticipation filled the space between you, Izzy pondering the sensation of your lips against his, the curiosity and desire swirling within him. You closed the gap between you, your lips meeting his in a tender kiss. The connection was soft and sweet. Time seemed to stand still as your lips gently explored the contours of Izzy’s. 

“I fucking knew it,” Lucius’s voice rang out from the hallway in delight. 

Izzy immediately let go of you, worried about your reaction to Lucius seeing you with him. You only replied with a giggle, shutting the door quickly. “Fuck off, Lucius,” you sang playfully. 

As your arms warped around Izzy, pulling him in for another kiss, he heard Lucius’s annoyed voice through the door. “I feel like I deserve a thank you, at least.” 

For the first time, Izzy was thankful to Mr. Spriggs for sticking his nose into everyone’s business. Thanks to him, he was getting to hold you in his arms, instead of just having to admire you from afar. You had told Izzy he had a face worth painting, but in Izzy’s mind, you yourself were a work of art.

[melvisik]

The fandom overall seems split in their opinion of this fella:

One one side, there has been so much commentary offering sympathy and love for this poor, currently pathetic rat man. Of course, when using the word 'pathetic,' one might also include the archaic sense - he arouses pity, even if there is a connotation of contempt.

As noted, many have gone to great lengths in illustrating how he fits this definition. Some of their examples (their own commentaries and material directly from the actors and crew) have really hit home, and present a further glimpse into the man's tortured soul. Primarily in their analyses to his relationship with Blackbeard. From recollection, Con O’Neill has made at least two comparisons that have resonate brilliantly with his stans: 1) Judas’ relationship with Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar. 2) Losing one’s best friend to someone else.

The former is a story familiar to quite a few people - Judas Iscariot started out as a follower of the prophet Jesus, but he ultimately betrayed the man he served and loved to the authorities which eventually got them both killed. In the musical, Judas does this because he’s worried that Jesus is out of control and that his leadership would lead to the group’s destruction. Another (probably more 'biblical') version presents him as a greedy, Satan-possessed bastard who just wants cash in hand, and he later regrets it when 'the devil leaves him.' Yet another interpretation is that (to Judas and many of Jesus’ followers) the idea of a Messiah is a person who will incite revolution against their oppressors (in this case the Roman Empire); but Jesus takes an entirely different path than what was expected of someone with that title. So maybe Judas was disillusioned, or he got spooked, or he thought that his actions could incite a man he admired into choosing a different course.

The Taking of Christ (1602) by Caravaggio Whatever the reason, Judas' name remains synonymous with very concept of ‘betrayal,’ especially in regards to betraying a trusting friend/mentor/leader figure. So... yep. That fits.

Regarding the second point, Con more or less compared it to the circumstance of being incredibly lonely, then gaining a close friend only to subsequently watch them prefer to hang out with someone else. In this case, at least from Izzy's point of view, it almost turns the Judas metaphor on its head, making Blackbeard the Judas betrayer to Izzy’s… well, 'Jesus' in so many words. Guy does kinda have a bit of a god complex.

And that god complex has Izzy trying so very hard to be boss.

He’s an extremely capable person in many ways from what we’ve seen so far – an excellent swordsman, definitely knows his way around a ship, and practically the Head PR Representative to the Blackbeard brand (promoting Ed’s title and making excuses for his depressive states). But where Izzy falls short is a lack of strong leadership skills. They’re not bad so to speak, but the crew clearly hates him. He’s harsh, he makes people miserable, and if there’s any shred of kindness or compassion in him, he has to hide it. He puts up such a rough and tough front that many in the fandom interpret as a fear of inadequacy or an overblown sense of machoism (which amounts to the same thing). More than likely this is because life has taught him to behave that way. Israel Hands probably was raised in a world that forced him to either eat or be eaten. Which makes the second point even more loaded when taking into consideration just to whom Izzy is losing Blackbeard-

This guy.

Izzy a man of some learning, that much we can discern, but it’s highly doubtful that he grew up in a family of the same means as Stede Fuckin Bonnet.

Izzy has reached so high to the top as he thinks he can go - the right Hands and personal confidant of Captain Blackbeard himself, even having the privilege of addressing Blackbeard by his first name. Then comes along a ridiculous fop who not only manages to outsmart him on their first meeting but takes away his idol within only a few weeks of knowing him.

This soft-handed, smiling, upbeat ray of sunshine represents everything Izzy has been taught is weak and pitiful, and yet Izzy’s idol (and quite possibly the man he loves) is enamored with him.

In addition to all his faults, Stede Bonnet seems like a rich twat who’s gotten anything and everything he wants in life because of his privilege. He can literally afford to leave his cushy life and play dress up on a well-furnished ship. Izzy’s cruel reality is Stede’s deluded fantasy.

In short, rich-boy Stede Bonnet effortlessly gets everything that Izzy can never seem to reach, no matter how hard he tries or what strides he makes.   Not that any of this excuses Izzy's pettiness or betrayal by a long shot, but honestly who wouldn’t be driven bat-shit crazy by that? In any case, applause to the fandom's insights on this, and especially to Con O’Neill for being such a professional.   Slay, queen.

[exuberantocean]

I want to talk about responsibility in Our Flag Means Death. And I want to talk about it specifically after watching Stede blame himself for Ed's actions and I want to talk about it after watching a number of people in fandom blaming Izzy for Ed's actions.

Because they were Ed's actions. Ed absolutely did those things. No one forced him to attempt to kill Lucius. No one forced him to strand half the crew or torture Izzy or drive the boat into that storm. These are things Ed did of his own free will.

I hope, I really hope that people understand that ultimately the one responsible for Ed's actions is, well, Ed. Because he was the one to do them. Was his mental health good at the time? Ha, God no. But while that certainly makes it easier to understand his actions, it doesn't excuse them and it doesn't make them right. They are still his actions, his responsibility.

Did Stede's failure to show up at the end of season 1 cause Ed's mental state? Look, it was crushing (for both of them in different ways really). But look, Ed could have assumed something happened to Stede (which really, something did happen to Stede) rather than leap to the conclusion that Stede rejected him. And even given that, most people who break up with or are rejected by a loved one don't do *vague handwave at the first 3 episodes of season 2* ...all that.

There's nothing wrong with Ed feeling rejected and sad. There's a hell of a lot wrong with his actions.

Did Izzy's words and actions cause Ed's mental state? Well, obviously they didn't help. If I recall correctly, Izzy's made some sort of comment to Stede about ruining Blackbeard which surely contibuted to Stede's mental state and his actions at the end of s1 but, you know, Stede's a grown man and his actions are his own. Similarly, Izzy's taunts to Ed at the end of s1 come from a place where Izzy had a specific idea of how Ed was that was, well, perhaps not as wrong as some fans would like to think, but certainly incomplete, lacking, perhaps even misunderstood.

Perhaps misunderstood works best. Izzy knows the confidence that Blackbeard has always seemed to hold, the command, the compacity for violence, but he lacks the understanding of who Ed is. It's understandable that Izzy would want that back (I mean, I hate to break it to you, but they're pirates, the violence thing is part of all that). But, you know, I don't think Izzy's ever been a character motivated by just a desire to fuck things up. He's no Iago. Izzy clearly loves Blackbeard and that's perhaps his greatest flaw. He loves Blackbeard so much, but doesn't understand Ed at all.* ** Regardless of Izzy's motivations, he does play a significant role in escalating the situation. He words contribute to both Stede and Ed's turmoil. I'm not saying he has zero accountability here.

But.

Ed always had a choice one what to do, how to react. His actions remain his own. He could have ignored him, or tried to get over Stede or had Izzy tossed off the ship or any number of things. Instead, Ed chose to do what he did.

More importantly, by denying or ignoring Ed's own capability for his own actions, I feel like it overlooks what I see as the most powerful potential storyline in the show (obviously, I have no clue if they'll actually go this way, but I hope they do).

Ed, the man who feels unlovable has done horrible things. And, just maybe, he can still be loved. (Oh let's face it, we know he will be - he is already by Stede.) I don't even mean just by Stede (I mean, let's face it, Stede's likely to continue blaming himself for this), but by the crew he so badly treated. It will be interesting to see how things move forward. Regardless, I can't wait to see what happens next.

Who hasn't done horrible things? I mean, hopefully not at Ed levels of horrible. But God, what a lesson to be learned, to be loved even after your worst. One of the reason I think we humans are so compelled to create and follow stories is that we learn so well through them. How many of us out there feel unlovable, unloved, as deeply as Ed? How many of us are drowning in our misery, pulled down by weight of our own trauma, or our wrongdoings or perceived wrongdoings?

And how many of us are just as wrong as Ed was? Not because we aren't capable of bad-because new alert-we all are, but because we aren't defined by that and because we aren't destined to be defined by our darkest moments. And because humanity is even more defined by it's compacity to love and forgive than it is for our compacity to hurt and destroy.

Because I want to watch both that boat and it's co-captain rebuilt together.

*This is, perhaps, why Ed could never love Izzy. Because all Izzy saw was Blackbeard and Ed needed someone to love Ed - someone he could be Ed with and that be okay. Perhaps things will shift between Ed and Izzy after this...I mean, things must shift between the two after this, but perhaps Izzy will finally start seeing Ed? Who knows.

I also think Izzy's work at protecting the crew and his attempt to fix the situation (woefully too late) is worth something).

[whathelluci]

I really love how confident Stede is this season. He really left his old life behind and fully embraced the pirate's life. In season 1 he's tripping over his feet, now he's full on charging (towards Ed).

We see that contrast between him and the prince guy who's just starting out (doubt he was only a one time thing, i bet he's gonna come back again for revenge or smthng)

Stede is more sure of himself now. He's efficiently planning stuff out. He's gotten used to the violence and the killings, and when he firsts sees the supposedly dead body of the love of his life, he kept it together for the time being and hatched an escape plan. Dare I say he's more masculine this season while keeping his flamboyant charm.

What he's not sure is if Ed even wants him back. We see in his fanfiction dream of what he imagines would be their perfect reunion, but can't imagine actually Ed forgiving him and dream!Ed kept dodging his questions. "Ed, I'm so sorry! Can you forgive me?" "Babe, I knew you'd find me. That beard is so sexy."

Yes he's sure he and Ed are going to reunite, but in Stede's perspective, it's up to Ed to accept him in his life again.

[godasfarasyoureconcerned]

the word “poison” in e6 is very particular. there’s a lot of words stede could have used to describe the atmosphere on the ship, and many words less loaded against ed than “poison.” this is so obviously him using the word that izzy used for it. the word that ed latched onto and circled in on when asking his crew how they felt. the one that got a gun pointed in their faces and lost izzy his leg. it’s no coincidence that stede used this word— he wants to hit that emotional point and show ed that he can turn it into something else

the obvious question is: who told stede about the use of this word in particular, enough for him to stress it to ed later? was it ed himself? was it izzy? the crew? god

i can imagine ed sheepishly explaining to stede that izzy had come into his room complaining about the poisoned atmosphere, and that ed wanted to know if the rest of the crew agreed, so he went out to ask them, casually throwing in the fact that he had his gun in hand the whole time. explaining that izzy challenged him again in front of the whole crew as if he didn’t know what that means in pirate code

i can imagine izzy telling the same story, begrudging for different reasons than ed is. him explaining that he finally told ed that the atmosphere was poisoned— he sailed with blackbeard for years but it was never that terribly incessant or incessantly terrible. him explaining that ed asked each of the crew if they thought so and then put the gun to his own head and started to ramble and he looked really fucking close to— so izzy stepped in and told him it’s all because of his feelings for— well, stede knows what happened then

i can imagine the crew explaining that they told izzy that tossing the treasure is stupid before he got all choked up, and then suddenly he was breaking down worse than fang. them saying he told them he’d try and talk to blackbeard about the loot. him disappearing after pulling himself together, and the next time they saw him, he was chasing after a pissed-off blackbeard. them saying blackbeard pointed his gun at each of them before himself, and that he seriously seemed like he was going to end it until izzy told him the ship was poisoned because of his feelings for stede. saying ed shot him instantly and told frenchie to finish the job, and that when he found out they kept him alive he was angry enough to sail them into a storm

thinking about stede getting a combination of these stories. about him realizing that all three stories are likely amended for comfort. ed is probably brushing off some of his.. scarier moments. izzy’s probably leaving out the worst, most humiliating details. the crew clearly don’t know what either of them said in the confidence of his quarters

stede obviously knows that izzy told him that he loved him, he says as much in e7 to izzy himself. that raises similar questions: did ed tell him that? did izzy? how does stede know izzy told ed that he loves him? it Wasn’t News to him, so which one of them told him? both? he get different versions of that story too? did ed say “fucker went ‘we’ve worked together for years’ and ‘i.. have love for you’ before he fuckin challenged me in front of the whole crew. what the fuck am i supposed to do with that” like it was so obviously too little too late? did izzy say “i asked him ‘what am i to you’ which seemed fair since he was asking for another toe. told him i had love for him. he shot me not five minutes later” oh my god WHAT does stede KNOW

[scatterbrainedart]

Izzy Hands’ inability to get a single fucking win in any given situation has captivated me. He’s so SAD. Brother literally cannot catch a break for the life (or death) of him. I wanna be silly about him, but he’s such a sad goddamn character that I just can’t. It just feels wrong. Like, who am I to kick at someone who is already down? And who pretty much has been down since ep 2 at BEST? Sigh.

I adore inner conflict in a character, I eat that shit UP. Outer conflict is nice too, but ohhh. Love me a good worst-enemy-is-oneself trope. Realistically, that’s more so Ed than Izzy, but still. I think it’s the contrast that does it, too.

Izzy is so terribly loyal it hurts. He just has so much bottled up for the entirety of the first season, so many things that he’s repressed that all feeds into his bitterness. That, within itself, is really interesting in a character. Let’s start with his feelings of Ed. He starts of the series smug, confident. He looks up to Ed, as pretty much everyone do. He’s the one person he doesn’t mind being “inferior” to. He’s built up this image of Blackbeard in his mind (which is precisely what Ed struggled with the most part. The way his reputation has outgrown him in a multitude of ways) which he puts on such a high pedestal. Working together with the mighty Blackbeard is an honour. He adores him, and he’s very much pleased with the role he’s serving beside him.

Then in comes Stede, who is everything Blackbeard and Izzy is not. Or at least so it seems, until his whole fucking world has been turned upside down and everything he treasured has been snatched right out of his grasp. Then, to make matters worse, when Stede finally is out of the picture and things should be able to go back the way they were, they don’t. For a while, he could at least hold onto the idea that there was hope, that time would work its magic and things would revert back to normalcy. But it only gets worse, and worse, until it’s undeniably so much worse than it was at the former worst moment.

And the barriers start to melt away. Izzy isn’t dumb, he’s always quite aware of the situation he finds himself in. Even he, the former worst enabler of Blackbeards pirate shenanigans, knows when it’s time to stop. And so he takes on a somewhat more caring role, because he cares. He cares more about Ed than most, and he knows him better than most. Even when he’s unpredictable, and when Izzy himself thinks of him as a stranger. He still knows him better than most of the crew, to the extent in which Ed has allowed it. There is a lot of Ed that Izzy doesn’t know, but I’d imagine he knows the way he functions off by heart. The way his brain works, the way he plans, his mannerisms, stuff like that. Stuff you learn by paying close attention to someone as you spend every day together for years. And stuff you need to learn to survive in an abusive relationship, or in a relationship with someone unstable, in order to keep the water’s calm.

Izzy cares. It comes naturally to him, at least it probably did once. And now, after all that has happened all of him that has been broken down, it shines through again. It seeps out of the cracks of his crushed self, where every part of him is on display in a way he can’t or doesn’t bother to control anymore.

Despite everything, he shows mercy to Ed.

Despite everything, he teaches Stede how to survive (when it wouldn’t have been unexpected of him to want him dead at this point, again).

Despite everything, he lies about the ruined portrait to protect Stede’s perception of Ed.

Despite everything, he tries to move on and move forth.

Despite everything, he helps. He tries to make amends about things that were or weren’t his fault.

And despite everything, despite how much he pushes it away and tries to act like he doesn’t, he wants nothing as much as he wants something gentle. Something kind. He has gotten so much harm done to him by people he trusts, people he trusted and people he doesn’t trust at all. Every touch he’s ever received, to our eyes, has been one with the means of harm.

In season one I enjoyed seeing his homophobic homosexual messiness unfold, and his misery was all good fun. This season? I just wanna lay him to be cozy in a bed somewhere and give him some soup and a kiss on the forehead and tell him it’s gonna be okay. What the hell man.

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

…Does anybody else feel that What We Do in the Shadows has failed terribly at queer storytelling? Not even necessarily about character gender or sexuality but the like idea of it?

Like look at Our Flag Means Death even the romance aside Stede was a depressed man forced into an arranged marriage he wanted no part of, he lived a dull ordinary life that left him feeling empty. Then one day he buys a ship and becomes a pirate, we watch this man slowly fully become his true self. He dresses flamboyantly, he loves to read and write, he’s awkward and funny and bitchy, he’s romantic and violent and kind.

Look at Hannibal and specifically the journey of Will. Will is awkward, he can’t make eye contact in most conversations, he’s typically withdrawn and painfully awkward. Then through Hannibal and this complex horror Will becomes undone. He can stare you not just in the eye but deep into your soul, he stops fighting his darkness and instead embraces the beauty of it because he is no longer alone and judged. He can be violent, he can be artful and disturbed under the understanding gaze of Hannibal Lectar.

Look at Gotham and specifically Ed. Ed dresses in mute tones, he dotes and follows Harvey and Jim and Kristen mothering them in hopes of them becoming his friends only for all three to constantly find him irritating and unmanly “strange”. When he kills Tom he starts to change, he finally gets the girl and he becomes more social, more bold. After killing Kristen and befriending Oswald he changes more. Each time we see Ed he changes, he dresses in vibrant greens and is flamboyant and loud, he is no longer afraid of how others perceive him. The same goes for Oswald and his constant stages of reinvention as he learns through Ed and Fish Mooney to love himself.

These are stories while with queer stories and queer characters are also just in general stories about people who try desperately to play “normal” in order to be accepted by work and family and society to eventually end their stories covered in glitter and sometimes blood and free of the restraints of a world that shamed them.

….What We Do in the Shadows doesn’t do this.

Guillermo had two paths to bis truer self; become a vampire which was his allegory for freedom in his sexuality or embrace being a vampire slayer.

Becoming a vampire is shown as a horrible thing he instantly regrets and he retreats far into the fucking closet after one minute of it, but he also isn’t a slayer. Season four he dresses nice, he dresses in a way that seems free and more comfortable and confident but then immediately goes back to dressing like a grandfather and following Nandor and the others as their slave/pet. Guillermo does not have a story where he comes out the other end changed, freed, living his true self.

I know we still have one more season to go, but the show has fumbled for five seasons and has constantly been openly scared of allowing him to actually come out.

Which is frustrating because out of the shows listed here it is the one where everybody involved, Simms especially never shuts the fuck up about it being the most gay show to ever gay give us a trophy for being gay.

This isn’t about romance in Shadows or any of these shows either, this is solely about the allegory of the queer experience, of finding peace and freedom in who you really want to be and how Shadows keeps a firm chokehold on its characters refusing to let them change.

[avastyetwats]

Lost in the Woods (and in your eyes)

"Okay, Bonnet. You've got this. You can do this. It's right there. Right in front of you. Impossible to miss..." Though for Stede, he could make the impossible possible. Even after trying to psyche himself up so much, trying to build his self-confidence and prove to himself - and others - that he was capable. Capable of hunting, capable of killing, capable of taking care of himself. That's why he was out here, after all. Well, that and he wanted to see the world and everything it had to offer. He also wanted to become the most powerful Bards, unique in his own way, unlike any other! He just... needed some training because he lacked the skills he should have by now. Some of them, anyway... most of them. But he vowed to do just that and more.

And that included this. Hunting food for his traveling partner and him. His friend, Stede liked to think though he wasn't so sure James felt the same. He would, eventually. Stede was sure of that. He'd prove himself to him, as well, and gain his respect and friendship. And this delicious meal would certainly be a good start to that. Now he just... needed to release the arrow. Let it pierce the heart of his target and fall to the ground lifeless.

Gods, just that thought made him sick. It pained him. Devastated him. Something that would earn him ridicule and laughter back home, perhaps even from James himself. But that's just who he was. He cared so much about life other than his own. He loved animals, loved all creatures, or well... tried to anyway. He was fascinated by the different creatures and species of the world, even those his own kind didn't care for. But Stede was... different. Much to the disappointment of his father. He refused to kill in cold blood, he refused to hate something or someone simply because they were different. He just... had a large, sensitive heart, and the way he was treated because of it didn't change him. Even to this day, even kneeling here, hidden in the brush, with his arrow aimed at the gorgeous deer in the short distance...

"Steady... steady..." He tells himself, though his hands are far from it. They're shaky and sweaty, even more so as he pulls back on the string, that much closer to releasing it and... "I can't..." He sighs in defeat, loosening his grip on the bowstring and lowering the entire weapon, his sensitive heart winning out. He even makes a sound to startle the deer, to make it run away, ruining any chance he had at claiming victory. Though, admittedly, it wouldn't be a victory that would make him feel good. Quite the opposite, really.

So, after a moment, he stands with a heavy sigh and steps out of the brush, glancing around his surroundings. It feels so... peaceful here. He feels calm, content and... almost at home. Perhaps because he's free, seeing the world just as he always dreamed of doing, unraveling mysteries and discovering places and creatures he's read about. This forest he wondered, with how beautiful and serene it all was, could they be living here?

He continues forward and stumbles over a fallen branch on the ground, though thankfully remaining on his two feet only to walk head first into another branch extended from one of the many large trees. "OW." He cries out, bringing a hand up to rub at his forehead as he continues on, only to jump in fear when he hears a sound nearby. He turns quickly, withdrawing one of his daggers - his bow secured on his back - and holding it out. "Who's there!?" He calls out, glancing every which way. "If you're planning a surprise attack, I assure you it isn't a surprise anymore! Now come out or face my wrath! For I will unleash, he-ELLLLLL." His next - and last - step forward triggers a trap hidden beneath the loose leaves and grass, expertly hidden. Then again, he wasn't exactly watching where he was going. A net comes up from the ground, trapping the bard within, and dangling him from one of the many large, strong trees. "Oh, come on, really!?" He groans in frustration, glancing around and debating whether he should call for him. Probably not. For he, now, was a perfect target.

"Ah, I've got just the thing! Playing a tune won't help me, but perhaps this!" He reaches for his dagger, only to realize... "Shit..." He looks down below him and there it was, lying within the grass and dirt. Teasing him. Taunting him. "This is just not my day." He frowns, leaning back against the rope trap, but not before bringing out his lute, starting out with some soft strumming while he thought of a plan. He hoped James was having better luck than him... @izzyeffinhands

[forpiratereasons]

hello i would v much like to know abt train / noir for the wip ask <3

oh i'm so excited about this one, i fucking love trains and i've always wanted to do a murder on the orient express knock-off and noir was a prompt on an ofmdjanAUry prompt list a few months back. hoping to bring it back for this year's ofmdjanAUry! snippet under the cut! (i never write in first person, but - i had to give this one a go to capture the vibe!)

It was a cold, dreary afternoon, the day he darkened my door.

I’d been awake for thirty of the last twenty-four hours and every single one of them was taking their time coming to a finish. Some baloney about an inheritance and a will that hadn’t been filed in the right place—these rich suckers were always doing bad by their own. S’pose that’s just the way of the world, really.

Even if you win the rat race, you’re still a goddamned rat.

I wasn’t anywhere near the end of my paperwork but I was nearing the end of my pack of cigarettes, so there was already a hint of crisis in the air when there was a knock round the front door of my office. I tuned out the sound of the usual mumbo-jumbo—some bloke insisting it’s urgent, Hands insisting it isn’t, the eventual capitulation. Made ‘em feel special, when you capitulate. Good for business.

Then there he was.

He had a halo of golden curls, but the suit had been tailored by the devil’s own hands and his legs went all the way down to the ground. He was a tall drink of water, and I was finding myself parched.

“Teach?”

Only a man of a particular caliber would wear that color in this end of town. My once-over was suitably slow. “If you’re willing to learn.”

He didn’t flush, but it was a near thing. “I require your professional assistance.”

“And here I thought you’d be looking for directions to the nearest brandy.”

“I wouldn’t say no, if you had a glass handy, but it’s rather more serious than that.”

I did have a bottle in my desk drawer, but I was saving it for emergencies, and the last cigarette was already flirting with its final breath. “If it’s that serious, perhaps you’d be better off with taking a seat.”

He did sit, in the way of men who are more used to taking a seat than being invited to it. “I’m afraid it’s quite the delicate matter, you understand.”

“That much is implied by your being here rather than at the local precinct.”

Still he hesitated. Fine by me; I finished my cigarette, reconsidered the brandy, entertained a daydream about an egg sandwich from the diner round the corner. Took note of his accent—not from around these parts but trying hard to be—and the way his confidence sat poorly on his shoulders, like a two-dollar suit.

Finally he seemed to get himself together. Drew a deep breath and looked straight at me, as steady as barrel of a gun.

“I’d like you to solve my murder, Mr Teach.”

*

His name was Bonnet. Stede Bonnet. And he was going to be murdered on the 4:25 to San Francisco in two days’ time.

[saltpepperbeard]

How is "sex makes you an adult" not a fucked take tho lol. I hope Stede & Ed get to fuck but it's really shitty to equate having sex with becoming a man. Anyways I think Stede is gonna have a bar mitzvah lol

I don't think it's a fucked take at all, really. Because OFMD is all about going against toxic masculinity and the societal expectations of what it means to be a man. There are forces at play in the story that say it's wrong for men to be soft, to be in love, to be intimate with each other, etc etc. Men would be put to death for sodomizing around that time period.

I think the "take" is mostly just a joke anyway, and is more in regards to how suspicious Rhys' eyes were. But if you look at it in the sense of Stede getting to come more into himself, to be soft and confident and kind, and to finally and freely love the man he wants? To openly and happily express his sexuality? His passion? And THAT'S what defines his manhood? I think that's really beautiful, actually!