#and take out all our cardboard

[bmpmp3]

HAPPY birthday to Garfield, and meeeeee!!! he is 46 this year, and i am 26!

[cogentranting]

A book I read earlier this year made a claim that "motherhood is discussed in fewer than 3 per cent of papers, journal articles or textbooks on modern gender theory" and I wasn't able to verify their statistic but that idea sat with me (and certainly experientially the idea that modern feminism and gender theory drastically undervalue motherhood feels accurate) and so when I heard an old comment from an actress about being tired of playing wives and mothers it had a different ring to it. And I think that A. the problem isn't portraying wives and mothers it's a shallow conception of what those things are and B. maybe we need not less wives and mothers but more husbands and fathers and C. Once Upon a Time was doing something really right with Emma Swan.

[elisamaza]

Pizza delivery drivers of Reddit, what are some of the craziest reasons people have ended up on the “no delivery list”?

gameryamen

I worked for a pizza place that was near a very large software company. Deliveries to the neighborhoods or offices where all the tech workers lived was usually pretty awesome because they'd tip rather well. But there was one apartment that started to become a concern for us drivers. The man ordering was always polite, always paid, always tipped $4, and he would have been a perfect customer. He'd order breadsticks and a salad twice a week, and sometimes he'd include a bottle of root beer. Except when he opened his door, you could see an alarming amount of our breadsticks boxes stacked everywhere inside. Not like a few on the counter and a couple by the trash, stacks and stacks of them. Even worse, it was only our boxes in there. He wasn't just ordering from us often, we were the only place he was getting food outside of work. Now, I've worked in some of those tech offices myself, I know that there's enough decent food options just hanging out in the break rooms that this guy was probably not malnourished, but the way his living space was a shrine of greasy cardboard was a clear sign that this guy didn't have a healthy relationship with our food. Our manager was a really cool dude though, and he heard the drivers joking about the boxes and asked a couple of us "Is this like a messy guy or a guy who needs help?" We agreed it was probably the latter. So on his day off, the manager went to the guys apartment with an envelope that had gift cards for several other restaurants that delivered in that area and chatted with him. Manager found out that the guy was an immigrant on a Visa who was struggling to find American food he liked, and too socially awkward to ask anyone. So he talked with him through a few menus and helped him with some recommendations. Then he helped the guy load all the old boxes into his truck to take to the dump, in exchange for a promise not to order from us more than once a week. For a little while, the manager had a note on the calendar showing the last time the guy had ordered, and a couple times he had to hold his ground and refuse the guy's order. But after that chat, I never saw the stacks of boxes again, and the guy would boast about the different meals he'd had.

what the fuck dude, this is so sweet.

[pears-trinkets]

.

[hxzbinwrites]

Hi! I just saw that requests are open, yeah!! I'd like to request an Alastor x fem!Reader where Vox has a crush on her so he sends her a set of different tea flavor as a gift. The problem is that these contain a drug that inhibits the person (thanks, Valentino). Basically, his plan was to wait for her to drink the tea and then show up at the hotel and seduce her so he could have her for himself (my boy thinks she loves him, lol). The problem is that she had graciously offered the tea to Alastor, who drinks it. Vox asks her if she enjoyed the tea she lies saying it was delicious so he immediately shows up at the hotel but ends up finding Alastor who is being super affectionate with her, revealing his true feelings for her. Eventually Alastor attacks Vox as soon as he sees him forcing the other to flee. Fluff and comedy, basically. xD

Alastor x Fem! Reader x Vox | Tea Time Troubles

Warnings ⚠️:  Cussing, drugs, controlling and manipulative Vox, out of character Alastor.

"I dunno 'bout this Voxxy" Valentino said, handing him a baggie of the drug, a weak aphrodisiac lining the walls of the bag.

"Don't worry about me Valentino, I'll be fine" Vox reassured him, holding the bag up to his screened face. He smirked deviously as he put his hands behind his back.

"But you tell me all the time 'bout 'public image' and all that shit." Valentino retorted, crossing his lower arms against his stomach.

"Don't you worry your pretty little face about it Honey" Vox sneered, rubbing his cheek in a falsely affectionate way. "Vox is a big boy and can handle himself. I just gotta put this into some tea bags. (Y/n) WILL be MINE."

"Ugh" The moth groaned, taking a puff of his cigar,"She's not even worth it. She hangs out with radio, fossil trash. If she was good shed know who to choose. Besides, I'm better than she is, right?"

"You're wrong." Vox said, his left eye radiating hypnotizing waves out of anger,"(Y/n) is perfect. She's everything, and she will be mine."

Vox's demonic laughter could be heard across the building, sending chills down anyone who heard it's spine.

--------

"Honey!!" (Y/n) exclaimed, holding up the box of tea that arrived at their house,"Your tea shipment came!"

Alastor, who was reading the paper at the kitchen table, looked over to see his dear (Y/n) carrying two large cardboard boxes.

He teleported over, making his shadows place them atop of the counter. His keen eyes narrowed at the second box, seemingly almost identical to the first one.

"How peculiar!" Alastor said, tapping his cane on the second box, almost poking it as if it was a foreign object.

"What's peculiar about it?" The fellow deer demon asked, peering over at the box her partner was so intrigued by.

"I did not order two shipments of tea from the catalogue this month!" He replied, his smile tightening in irritation. Could someone be trying to plant something in this hotel? Trying to hurt any of his friends, his beloved, or him?

"Maybe it's a promo box?" (Y/n) suggested,"I mean, you are a loyal customer of theirs. Maybe they want you to try a new product, I hear that's the new rage."

"Ah" Alastor replied, walking closer to the counter to rip open the second box to be met with a letter and a large box of tea.

"Thank you for your loyalty Mr. Alastor. We're reaching out to our most loyal customers to give this Promo box to! We're asking that you try our newest flavor, a (your favorite flavor) but with a twist! Despite the erratic sounds at night in Hell, this tea should help you fall right asleep! If you enjoy it, please promote so on your beloved Radio Show!"

"I was right!" The doe said, looking up at her partner,"They must've given it to you because they know you're famous and can promote their tea! Very smart people, I wanna try one tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow? Why not today my doe?" Alastor said, looking down at his partner.

"My stomach isn't feeling the best. Charlie's cake wasn't fully cooked through, but I didn't want to be rude and not eat it. Especially because no one else was!"

Alastor chuckled, petting her sensitive ears. "Now now (Y/n), you should've listened to me! I know all!"

"Al..." She said, batting her eyes up at him,"Do you mind trying it for me? I wanna know if it's good, but I don't want to throw up in my sleep!"

"Why should I?" He inquired, smirking down at (Y/n). "It seems like this predicament could've been easily avoided my little doe! Hahaha!"

"Please" She softly asked, smiling at him back.

"I suppose I can try one cup of it." He said, sitting down at the table, fully expecting (Y/n) to make him the cup as he finished reading his paper.

She giggled at him and began to start the kettle. Moments like these can't be replaced, a docile and homey moment between the two of them. (Y/n) loved seeing this side of him. The Alastor side of him, not the Radio Demon.

(Y/n) opened the smaller box that was enclosed in the large one, picking out the first tea bag. She smelled the bag, the fumes of blended herbs wafting in her nostrils. It smelled lovely, she would've to drink one alongside Alastor.

But she held back on picking up another bag, knowing its sleeping effects. (Y/n) really didn't want to throw up while in her sleep, and potentially on Alastor, who would be as knocked out as her.

Sighing, she finished preparing the tea, pouring it in Alastor's favorite teacups, the one (Y/n) gifted him on their second anniversary many years ago.

She walked back over to him, placing the teacup on his saucer, putting the sugar cube in as well.

"Thank you dearest" Alastor said, his eyes skimming over the newspaper,"I shall be in our room in a moment, why don't you go ahead and get in your nightwear?"

"Alrighty" (Y/n) replied, patting the back of Alastor's chair. That was something the two of them did, (Y/n) knew when to touch Alastor and when to not. Still wanting to show him affection, she'll pat an object close to him.

Alastor gave her a soft smile before returning his focus to the newspaper.

The doe walked up the stairs in the hotel to their shared room. She got in her fluffy pajamas, completed each and every step to her skincare routine, and crawled into bed with a book.

The silence was only broken by the occasional turn of a page, this was (Y/n)‘s daily quiet time, as Alastor liked to read the paper before turning in for the night.

This normally is for about an hour, but tonight it was a mere 30 minutes as the door busted open.

The doe yelped, her skittish nature causing her to flinch at the sudden jolt of noise. Her partner flittered into the room before crawling on top of her, his eyes droopy from the affect.

“Hi sugar” He said, burying his face in the crook of her neck. His ears were pressed against his head as he affectionately nuzzled (Y/n). Alastor grabbed her waist and flipped her on top of him, allowing him to bring her closer to his body, her chest atop of his.

“Al-Alastor?!” (Y/n) exclaimed, tensing up. What has gotten into him!? He’s not one to ever make such…bold advances.

“Oh my love” He said, a dreamy lilt in his voice,”you’re just perfection incarnate. Such a lovely little fawn you are.”

Blushing heavily, she let him rest himself on her, snuggling contently. It was rather peaceful, she did not know where this sudden chance of behavior came from, but it certainly wasn’t the worst by far.

(Y/n)’s ears perked up hearing a notification sound ding from her phone. She slowly grabbed it to check what it was.

Alastor was not very keen on allowing this sort of technology in the house, especially knowing Vox is over all of it. So they made a compromise, he’d take out the camera and microphone and she could have the phone.

Seeing it was a message from Vox, she opened it.

Vox: “Hey sweetheart, I pulled a few strings and got a shipment of some new tea of (your favorite flavor) that was being tested. How did you like it baby?”

(Y/n): Oh, it was good, thanks!

Vox: Just good? You sure sweet stuff? Wasn’t it so good you could just kiss the lips off of the person who got it for you?

(Y/n) sighed, shutting her phone off and curling up with her lover.

“I think that’s a yes!” Vox said, throwing his hands in the air ceremoniously. He quickly put on his best bow tie, in hopes it would get taken off by fingers other than his, and made his way towards the Hazbin Hotel.

————

Vox searched through each room until he found the one you and Alastor shared.

He scowled at the door, seeing a heart with the initials scribed on it “(Y/i) + A”

Pathetic. He could give you so much more than that. He could give you the most advanced technological sign known to mankind just for some silly initials, not some shitty hard with nearly illegible handwriting.

He opened the door, his signature smirk dropping as he saw Alastor, his arch nemesis (in Vox’s eyes) peppering small little kisses all over (Y/n)‘s face, making her giggle.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Vox yelled, his face was blue-screening.

Alastor took one look at the fellow Overlord and let out a long string of laughter, sitting up as he pulled (Y/n) into his lap.

“Vox?! What are you doing here?!”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO DRINK THE TEA!! AND THEN YOU’D BE MINE!!”

Alastor hooked a arm around (Y/n)‘s waist, looking at his opponent across the room.

“This is my doe, my love, and we all know if she would’ve drank the tea, she would’ve always chosen me.”

Lets just say, the power around the Pride Ring went out after that comment.

————

Word Count 1,524

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Amazon illegally interferes with an historic UK warehouse election

I'm in to TARTU, ESTONIA! Overcoming the Enshittocene (Monday, May 8, 6PM, Prima Vista Literary Festival keynote, University of Tartu Library, Struwe 1). AI, copyright and creative workers' labor rights (May 10, 8AM: Science Fiction Research Association talk, Institute of Foreign Languages and Cultures building, Lossi 3, lobby). A talk for hackers on seizing the means of computation (May 10, 3PM, University of Tartu Delta Centre, Narva 18, room 1037).

Amazon is very good at everything it does, including being very bad at the things it doesn't want to do. Take signing up for Prime: nothing could be simpler. The company has built a greased slide from Prime-curiosity to Prime-confirmed that is the envy of every UX designer.

But unsubscribing from Prime? That's a fucking nightmare. Somehow the company that can easily figure out how to sign up for a service is totally baffled when it comes to making it just as easy to leave. Now, there's two possibilities here: either Amazon's UX competence is a kind of erratic freak tide that sweeps in at unpredictable intervals and hits these unbelievable high-water marks, or the company just doesn't want to let you leave.

To investigate this question, let's consider a parallel: Black Flag's Roach Motel. This is an icon of American design, a little brown cardboard box that is saturated in irresistibly delicious (to cockroaches, at least) pheromones. These powerful scents make it admirably easy for all the roaches in your home to locate your Roach Motel and enter it.

But the interior of the Roach Motel is also coated in a sticky glue. Once roaches enter the motel, their legs and bodies brush up against this glue and become hopeless mired in it. A roach can't leave – not without tearing off its own legs.

It's possible that Black Flag made a mistake here. Maybe they wanted to make it just as easy for a roach to leave as it is to enter. If that seems improbable to you, well, you're right. We don't even have to speculate, we can just refer to Black Flag's slogan for Roach Motel: "Roaches check in, but they don't check out."

It's intentional, and we know that because they told us so.

Back to Amazon and Prime. Was it some oversight that cause the company make it so marvelously painless to sign up for Prime, but such a titanic pain in the ass to leave? Again, no speculation is required, because Amazon's executives exchanged a mountain of internal memos in which this is identified as a deliberate strategy, by which they deliberately chose to trick people into signing up for Prime and then hid the means of leaving Prime. Prime is a Roach Motel: users check in, but they don't check out:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/

When it benefits Amazon, they are obsessive – "relentless" (Bezos's original for the company) – about user friendliness. They value ease of use so highly that they even patented "one click checkout" – the incredibly obvious idea that a company that stores your shipping address and credit card could let you buy something with a single click:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1-Click#Patent

But when it benefits Amazon to place obstacles in our way, they are even more relentless in inventing new forms of fuckery, spiteful little landmines they strew in our path. Just look at how Amazon deals with unionization efforts in its warehouses.

Amazon's relentless union-busting spans a wide diversity of tactics. On the one hand, they cook up media narratives to smear organizers, invoking racist dog-whistles to discredit workers who want a better deal:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/apr/02/amazon-chris-smalls-smart-articulate-leaked-memo

On the other hand, they collude with federal agencies to make workers afraid that their secret ballots will be visible to their bosses, exposing them to retaliation:

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/amazon-violated-labor-law-alabama-union-election-labor-official-finds-rcna1582

They hold Cultural Revolution-style forced indoctrination meetings where they illegally threaten workers with punishment for voting in favor of their union:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/31/business/economy/amazon-union-staten-island-nlrb.html

And they fire Amazon tech workers who express solidarity with warehouse workers:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/amazon-fires-tech-employees-workers-criticism-warehouse-climate-policies/

But all this is high-touch, labor-intensive fuckery. Amazon, as we know, loves automation, and so it automates much of its union-busting: for example, it created an employee chat app that refused to deliver any message containing words like "fairness" or "grievance":

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/05/doubleplusrelentless/#quackspeak

Amazon also invents implausible corporate fictions that allow it to terminate entire sections of its workforce for trying to unionize, by maintaining the tormented pretense that these workers, who wear Amazon uniforms, drive Amazon trucks, deliver Amazon packages, and are tracked by Amazon down to the movements of their eyeballs, are, in fact, not Amazon employees:

https://www.wired.com/story/his-drivers-unionized-then-amazon-tried-to-terminate-his-contract/

These workers have plenty of cause to want to unionize. Amazon warehouses are sources of grueling torment. Take "megacycling," a ten-hour shift that runs from 1:20AM to 11:50AM that workers are plunged into without warning or the right to refuse. This isn't just a night shift – it's a night shift that makes it impossible to care for your children or maintain any kind of normal life.

Then there's Jeff Bezos's war on his workers' kidneys. Amazon warehouse workers and drivers notoriously have to pee in bottles, because they are monitored by algorithms that dock their pay for taking bathroom breaks. The road to Amazon's warehouse in Coventry, England is littered with sealed bottles of driver piss, defenestrated by drivers before they reach the depot inspection site.

There's so much piss on the side of the Coventry road that the prankster Oobah Butler was able to collect it, decant it into bottles, and market it on Amazon as an energy beverage called "Bitter Lemon Release Energy," where it briefly became Amazon's bestselling energy drink:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/20/release-energy/#the-bitterest-lemon

(Butler promises that he didn't actually ship any bottled piss to people who weren't in on the gag – but let's just pause here and note how weird it is that a guy who hates our kidneys as much as Jeff Bezos built and flies a penis-shaped rocket.)

Butler also secretly joined the surge of 1,000 workers that Amazon hired for the Coventry warehouse in advance of a union vote, with the hope of diluting the yes side of that vote and forestall the union. Amazon displayed more of its famously selective competence here, spotting Butler and firing him in short order, while totally failing to notice that he was marketing bottles of driver piss as a bitter lemon drink on Amazon's retail platform.

After a long fight, Amazon's Coventry workers are finally getting their union vote, thanks to the GMB union's hard fought battle at the Central Arbitration Committee:

https://www.foxglove.org.uk/2024/04/26/amazon-warehouse-workers-in-coventry-will-vote-on-trade-union-recognition/

And right on schedule, Amazon has once again discovered its incredible facility for ease-of-use. The company has blanketed its shop floor with radioactively illegal "one click to quit the union" QR codes. When a worker aims their phones at the code and clicks the link, the system auto-generates a letter resigning the worker from their union.

As noted, this is totally illegal. English law bans employers from "making an offer to an employee for the sole or main purpose of inducing workers not to be members of an independent trade union, take part in its activities, or make use of its services."

Now, legal or not, this may strike you as a benign intervention on Amazon's part. Why shouldn't it be easy for workers to choose how they are represented in their workplaces? But the one-click system is only half of Amazon's illegal union-busting: the other half is delivered by its managers, who have cornered workers on the shop floor and ordered them to quit their union, threatening them with workplace retaliation if they don't.

This is in addition to more forced "captive audience" meetings where workers are bombarded with lies about what life in an union shop is like.

Again, the contrast couldn't be more stark. If you want to quit a union, Amazon makes this as easy as joining Prime. But if you want to join a union, Amazon makes that even harder than quitting Prime. Amazon has the same attitude to its workers and its customers: they see us all as a resource to be extracted, and have no qualms about tricking or even intimidating us into doing what's best for Amazon, at the expense of our own interests.

The campaigning law-firm Foxglove is representing five of Amazon's Coventry workers. They're doing the lord's work:

https://www.foxglove.org.uk/2024/05/02/legal-challenge-to-amazon-uks-new-one-click-to-quit-the-union-tool/

All this highlights the increasing divergence between the UK and the US when it comes to labor rights. Under the Biden Administration, @NLRB General Counsel Jennifer Abruzzo has promulgated a rule that grants a union automatic recognition if the boss does anything to interfere with a union election:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks/#if-blood-be-the-price-of-your-cursed-wealth

In other words, if Amazon tries these tactics in the USA now, their union will be immediately recognized. Abruzzo has installed an ultra-sensitive tilt-sensor in America's union elections, and if Bezos or his class allies so much as sneeze in the direction of their workers' democratic rights, they automatically lose.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/06/one-click-to-quit-the-union/#foxglove

Image: Isabela.Zanella (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ballot-box-2.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[rotary-supercollider]

Average leverage episode

Victim: please mr. Leverage. They bought my orphanage and they’re going to sell all the orphans I need you to stop them

Nate “Leverage” Leverage: I think we can get you some… leverage

Sophie: I’m going to start a bullshit argument now

Nate: please dont

Sophie: it’s going to last the whole episode

Nate: 🙄women (laughtrack)

Hardison: alright this is our mark Mr. Monopoly. He owns 16 weapons companies and took in 100000 billion million dollars last year. He just got into the orphan business and on the weekends he plays puppy golf.

Parker: whats puppy golf

Hardison: it’s like golf but you use puppies

Elliot: I’ve seen it. (snifffs deeply) not fun

Hardison: this guys ruthless. we’re going to be exploiting his one weakness. He really likes having a lot of money

Sophie: how?

Nate: we go steal an abstract concept

*they steal an abstract concept*

The mark: hello. I was impressed by your ownership of an abstract concept

Sophie: we’ll give you 50 trillion dollars for the orphanage

Mark: Zamn!!!

Sophie: 😏 we got him

*1 day later*

Sophie: here’s the 50 trillion dollars (holds up briefcase full of crimes)

The mark: I don’t want your money any more. I have a new plan. I’m goijng to dress all the orphans in hot dog costumes and start a theme park

Sophie: 😦

Elliot: we’re blown

Nate: Sophie throw the briefcase 💼 in the lake

Mark: whoa!! Thats wet money

Sophie: I can give you 5000 more orphans. Meet me at this unmarked warehouse in 6 hours

Mark: awooga

Hardison: Nate do you have a plan?

Nate: not yet

*Fade to black*

Nate: alright the marks on his way. Hardison what’s your 20

Hardison: I need at least 30 minutes to finish this Lego Taj Mahal

Nate: ok I’ll stall

Nate (playing bit character): I cooka da pizza!! Ohhhh (drops full pan of sauce on the marks head instantly killing him) mamma Mia (walks into the sea)

Parker: guys we have a problem

*6 Bad Men materialize out of thin air*

Elliot: 😒I got this 👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊🤛🤜🤛🤜✊🩼✊🦶🦵✊🤛🚪🦶✊🦵🤌✊🦶👊🦵✊✊👊🎷👊👊👊

*the Bad Men disintegrate*

Elliot: shit hes here (dives into a trash can)

*the mark reaches the building. There are orphans waving at him from the windows*

Mark: ok I’m here to take the orphans

The police: SIR YOURE COMING WITH US

Mark: what?? This is a completely legal orphan deal

Police: theres no orphans here

*police man grabs an orphan. Hes flat. Flashback to Hardison setting up 5000 cardboard orphan cutouts*

Mark: but what are you arresting me for??

Police man: sir you filled all of city hall with gravy

*flashback to Nate filling city hall with gravy while wearing a T-shirt that says “Im bad businessman”*

Mark: you can’t do this to me!!

Police: (arrests him)

Nate: heh. You could say he got... Leveraged

Parker: i have autism

Everyone: oh my god Parker shut up

[bywons]

✶ A LITTLE HELP — SJY

╰—— 𝗈𝗋 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗅𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗒 𝗇𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝖺𝗏𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄

( ✶🪽𝓢. ) 𝗌𝗂𝗆 𝗃𝖺𝖾𝗒𝗎𝗇 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 g. 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗇𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌 𝗍𝗈 ? 1217 𝒘𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌 contains ! 𝗌𝗎𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 (?), 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉, 𝗇𝗂𝖼𝗄𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌 ✦ ◞ 𝒞 ATALOGUE?!

๑´ ³`) ﾉ pls leave feedbacks if u liked it ♡ REBLOG !!

“i mean your abs are pretty impressive, pretty convenient for a washing board though.”

an offended, loud gasp from just beside you, makes you giggle. the cardboard boxes rustle against each other, a few of them being opened up to take out your newly ordered white vases, which your helpful neighbour skillfully places among the wooden shelves.

meanwhile, you wipe off the dust and rearrange the little trinkets on the white showcase, occasionally admiring your handsome neighbours’ work.

“when did you see my abs though, are you lying to me, ms y/n?”, jake scoffs, putting the last vase on the shelf.

you giggle, finishing off your work on the showcase, “i think you're forgetting that our apartment complex has a gym, mr jake,” you walk towards him, an unexpected rise in your heartbeat, “last week.”

“was i on the bench press?”, jake smirks, before catching his lower lip between his teeth and flicking it outside. you don't know what he's trying to do with all that, but he is sure to make your heart beat faster.

“treadmill”, you correct him.

the proximity between you and your striking neighbour increases by the windowsill, where both mild sun rays and inquisitive pairs of eyes can peek in, but it's something that doesn't bother you. after all, sim jake is only here to help you, just a helping hand for you when you've decided to clean and rearrange your apartment.

you don't know how the helping part is kept aside for now, confused at how jake is staring into your eyes, a hesitant but longing step closer to you. he should've been helping you with the bookshelf now, stacking in the new books to the according racks.

but right now he is busy igniting new feelings to your heart.

jake is too close for your own good, left hand threatening to close in around your waist and pull you into such a proximity he has only imagined. he could smear that pink lip gloss of yours now, his hand on you and his mind all dizzy, it would be a perfect weekend for him.

and as he's about to accomplish that, when you swiftly glide out of his imaginary hold on you and pick up the new books to be kept in place, breaking your poor neighbours’ heart.

“that's too much work for a pretty girl like you,” jake was fast, you have to give it to him, well not only in pace but also incredibly fast to make you squeal inside, “i'll take them from ‘ya.”

“you know i can do that myself”, you scoff, leaning against the bookshelf as he snatches the basket full of new books, arranging them.

“yes ma'am”, jake sings, pulling out another giggle from you while he pushes the new books between the old ones, “but i'd rather do it myself you know? wouldn't want your arms all tired.”

you had enough time, strength and leisure to stroll around your apartment and bedeck it, a change of scenario and colours for your eyes, a break from the dust collecting shelves eyeing you from their constant spot. you definitely didn't need another flirty neighbours’ help who could easily pull you into a scandal.

five months ago when you first moved in here, you didn't expect a cheeky, lovestruck neighbour, jake, to knock on your doors every weekend. and even if you're not willing to talk, his flirting skills would find his way to your smile anyway.

so jake became a regular face to witness, a regular voice to hear and a regular touch that you wished would linger for one more second.

“nosy neighbours”, jake reads out the title of the last book on his hand, “ouch, am i a nosy neighbour?”, a dramatic hand over his heart and a fake pout made you giggle harder.

“shut up jake”, you roll your eyes, hitting his arm.

“actually i'd like to borrow this book from ya”,

“you read books too?”, you tilt your head in confusion, an eyebrow raised at his request.

“are you surprised?”, jake giggles, taking a step closer to you as he secures the book in his hand.

“of course i am”, you let out a hearty laugh, hands flying up to your face to cover your flushed cheeks, “i thought all you do is flirt with women and lure them into your apartment”, you tease.

“that's not very nice, ms y/n,” and he goes back to his unnecessary honorific and a dangerous smirk tugging at his lips, making you swoon, “i’m hurt to know you think of me like that.”

jake leans in until he's face to face with you, his hot breath tickles your cheeks and makes them bloom from inside. he's at it again, his infamous grin while he stares you down, his rosy lips are too close to yours.

“the only woman i want to take home is you”, he whispers, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ears. his eyes wander about to face, to your eyes to lips to neck to your eyes again, “do they kiss in the book?”

“no spoilers”, you whisper back.

“fair enough”, jake scoffs, his lips hovering over the corner of yours as he pulls you in by your waist, until you have to create a barricade between you two by softly pressing your palms against his chest. but jake doesn't really gives you what you want, he teases you, grazing his lips over the corners of yours and pressing a light peck on your cheek before pulling back.

he leaves you blushing and stunned, which he likes and smiles at.

“o-ok now i have a lot of work,” you hurriedly grab jake’s hand and begin to drag him towards the door.

“aww are you shooing me away, y/n?”, jake whines, walking the few steps to the exit on his own, “i was just having fun!”

“i wasn't”, you bite your lips, suppressing in a chuckle as you look at him, standing on your threshold.

“oh? is that so?”, jake's eyes widens, he's loving this little act of yours.

as if you didn't turn butter under his touch just a few seconds ago.

“yeah! now off you go jake, i have a lot of things to do”, you try to send him off, lightly pushing on his chest and he's quick to grab your hand.

he brings it near his lips and kisses the inside of your wrist, looking up at you he says, “why don't you come over someday? return my favour maybe?”

all the blood in your body rushes up to your ears and cheeks and you stand still before him, not knowing what to do when you slowly retract your hand. he's intoxicating and he knows it, even if you don't visit him, jake already has an excuse to return his borrowed book to see your pretty face again. maybe you should give it a thought, give him a chance? after all, you can't deny the fact that he does make your heart beat faster.

you clear your throat, “i'll think about it.”

jake chuckles, “you better, ‘want to lure in my favourite pretty girl”, he winks at you, a final blow before he quickly pecks your cheek again, “9:30, i'll be waiting, gorgeous.”

© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

📌:: TAGLIST IS OPEN ! nets. @/k-labels tags! @bambisite @leaderwon @dimplewonie @wonfilms @heartswonn @jwonistic @aaa-sia @ashtxrie @kgneptun @flwrstqr @haechansbbg @river-demon-slayer @in-somnias-world @teddywonss @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @mylstserenade @branchrkive @aishigrey @nctislifue @greyminyoon1 @ro-diaries @rikibun @sleepyxxhead @belowbun @belovedsthings @moond1or

[ennabear]

I really liked mean!abby, what would it be like shopping with her?

ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ EEEE i’m glad u liked mean!abby cause i crave this validation!!!! i’m making this about the kitten because i know she secretly loves it, but if you want something else lmk!!! 100% projecting here because my cats are fucking FREAKS. anyways enough yap i’ll let you read now!!!

“aww, abby, look at this one!” you coo, the small white kitten sleepily stretches it’s arms out at the sound of your voice. abby shakes her head, “we don’t need another one.” she says coldly. the kitten rolls over with it’s stretch, showing off it’s soft white tummy. you reach out to grab abby’s shoulder in excitement, only to find her halfway down the aisle, eyebrows furrowed as she stares at her shopping list.

you give the kitten one last smile before turning to follow her, stopping to gaze at her beefy arms effortlessly lifting a heavy box of cat litter. she catches you staring, mumbling an annoyed “cmon. we have places to be.”

“what, you’re already antsy to get home and see your favorite kitten?” you tease, elbowing her in the side. surprisingly, she chuckles at this. “sure, whatever you say.” you turn the corner, eyeing a jar of catnip with a ribbon tied around it.

“fuck no.” she spits, your hand awkwardly halfway in the air as you reach for it. “oh, stop.” you roll your eyes. of course she has to say no to everything, she’s fucking glued to that damn list. “i’m serious, don’t you remember what happened last time? she jumped on top of the fridge and spilled the whole container, there was glass everywhere.”

“okay?” you laugh. “don’t you think our daughter deserves to get a little zooted from time to time? you do it practically every night, such a hypocrite.” she sighs deeply, debating the pros and cons quietly.

“fine. but if she pisses me off one more time, i’m sending her to rehab.”

“what’s that cat’s name?” you ask the cashier.

“the white one?” he gestures to the glass box behind him. “she’s meowrie catoinette, it’s here last day here before she gets sent to a shelter.” god, you’ve never heard a more perfect name. the stars are all aligning.

you grab abby’s wrist before she can swipe her card, using almost all of your upper body strength to hold it in place. “no. and i’m not gonna say it again.”

“what if they kill her, abby?” you plead. she’s not sympathetic at all, instead shrugging and wrestling against your grip on her wrist. “do they do that at the shelter?”

“there’s really no way of knowing.” the cashier answers. “once they leave here, it’s completely out of our hands.”

the kitten wakes from it’s nap at the perfect time, stretching it’s pouty mouth with a big yawn, then looking up at you and meowing. abby breaks free from your grip, swiping her card and quickly shoving it back into her wallet. “how much is she?” you ask.

“any adoptions within the last week of their residency are free. we wanna make sure these animals go home.”

“great!” you beam, “we’ll take her.”

abby’s mouth falls open at your audacity. no matter how much she says no, how hard she puts her foot down, you always find a way to beat her. she doesn’t say another word to you, not as the young man hands you a small meowing kitten in a cardboard box. not on the drive home. not while you eat dinner, your girls next to you slurping at a plate of fancy feast. not in the shower as you massage her scalp.

and it isn’t until you’re both in bed, half naked and half asleep, that she mumbles a grumpy “so this is our destiny now? to be cat moms?”

[andvys]

Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.

The Epilogue ⭐︎ We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we made

Warnings: none really, fluff, lots and lots of fluff, pregnancy, a little (or not so little) time jump, dad!Steve, pregnant!reader, the 'teens' are in their early twenties, proofread but... poorly, please ignore any mistakes

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Word count: 5.1k+

Author's note: This is it, friends. The story is done (sob), I'm so grateful for everyone who supported this story, who commented and filled my inbox with sweet asks, I appreciate every single one of you ♡ and @hellfire--cult my love, thank you for working on this story with me, I had the best time working on all these chapters with you, I love u

Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter

♡

“Lego Head!” 

Steve comes scrambling down the stairs, panic in his eyes at the sound of your cry, his heart pounding with worry but also with fear at the frustration in your voice. 

He nearly slips on the hardwood floor as he rounds the corner into the kitchen, his hair still wet from the shower he just took after he hurried home from work. He wanted to clean the kitchen and get started on dinner before you got home but time wasn’t on his side today. 

Steve doesn’t know whether he should smile out of adoration or tremble in fear at the sight of his pregnant wife, fuming at the unwashed dishes in the sink. 

You look so cute, no matter the mood you are in, you are just so goddamn cute, standing in your sundress, hand over your belly, wedding ring shining under the golden light of the evening sun. The frown on your face is adorable as you stare at him with furrowed brows and downturned lips. His heart flutters so wildly in his chest, after years of marriage and kids, his feelings only intensified, they kept growing, his love deepening more and more, each passing day with you. He is so damn lucky. 

He approaches you, glancing at the dishes he couldn’t get his hands on yet, he grabs your waist and pulls you closer, “I’m sorry, baby, I was gonna do them after the shower, I just got home from work–”

Your sniffle cuts him off and he instantly stops talking when he sees the tears in your eyes, your lips moving into a pout, guilt crossing your face as you stare at your loving husband. 

“I’m sorry! – I know you’re tired–”

“No, no, don’t cry sweetheart, I know you had a hard day too.”

“No, I snapped at you, I’m–”

Steve can’t help but smile softly as he shakes his head, cupping your cheeks softly, he leans in and presses his lips to yours, kissing you softly, taking your mind off the dishes that drove your hormones insane. 

A sigh of contentment falls from your lips, your eyes flutter shut and you melt so softly into him, placing one hand on his cheek, his stubble scratching against your palm. His scent, his body wash filling your senses and making your stomach flutter, making you feel at peace.

Steve smiles into the kiss as he feels himself calming down after the stressful day at work, your touch always brings him down, no matter how hectic and how bad a day has been, he always looks forward to coming home. 

When you part from the kiss, your husband nuzzles your nose, making you giggle through the tears that sparked in your eyes. He tucks your hair behind your ears and places his large hand on your belly, his eyes glowing with nothing but love and happiness. 

“Hi darling,” he whispers, greeting you properly now, he murmurs against your lips, kissing you once more. 

“Hi Stevie, I missed you,” you whisper, pouting at him in a way that nearly brings him to his knees. 

The smile never leaves his lips, his heart never stops to flutter. He kneels down and kisses your belly, whispering sweet nothings to his little princess. 

You run your fingers through his wet hair, gazing down at him, your heart swells in your chest. 

After running errands all morning and noon, you stopped by his workplace and he took you out for lunch at your favorite diner, he got you dessert too, even though it wasn’t for you as you had claimed but for the growing princess in your belly – he watched with adoration how you devoured that ice cream with such pleasure, just the way you do every night, when you’re both already in bed and a sudden craving of yours, has him jumping out of bed and tiptoeing down the stairs to get you whatever you or your little princess are asking for. 

He remembers it like it was yesterday, when you announced your first pregnancy, he was so clueless and confused when you kissed him goodnight and turned your back to him, when usually, you would snuggle against him, nuzzle your nose into his neck and hold onto him tightly. He was a little hurt, even, thinking he had done something wrong to have you facing away from him but when he slid his hand under his pillow while he was staring at the back of your head and he felt something lying beneath, he furrowed his brows for a different reason as he felt the plastic touching his fingers, when he pulled it out and held it before his face, his eyebrows shot up, his eyes widened and a gasp threatened to fall from his lips as his heart started pounding wildly, excitement and giddiness settling in his stomach. 

He needed to be one hundred percent sure that he was seeing correctly, so he turned on the light again, reached for the glasses he hated wearing so much, he didn’t even notice how you looked back at him with a soft smile on your face, he was too in shock about the two lines staring back at him. He knew what it was, he knew what it meant but he still needed the confirmation. 

“Baby,” he whispered, his voice shaky from the uncontainable excitement. He slowly turned towards you after he ripped the covers off himself, he placed his hand on your shoulder and turned you around, “darling, light of my life, my gorgeous wife, Blondie– please tell me that this is what I think it is,” he begged, eyes pleading as they stare at you with such love. 

The smile on your face, the tears in your eyes that were matching his own were enough of an answer but you nodded and whispered a soft ‘yes’, nonetheless. 

“You’re– You’re pregnant?” He whispered, eyes glossy and filled with a softness that had you trembling with emotions. “We’re having a baby?” He asked as his eyes flickered to your stomach that was covered by his shirt on your body, he slowly placed his hand on your belly, while still holding the pregnancy test with shaky hands. 

You answered by placing your hand on top of his, nodding again with a happy tear running down your cheek, one that he kissed away in an instant before he wrapped you in his arms, hugging you tighter than he ever has before as tears of happiness cascaded down his own cheeks while you both giggled. 

“Yes, Stevie, we’re having a baby,” you said softly, kissing his neck as he buried his face in yours, hand still lingering over your belly, protectively. 

He cried, he cried from joy and from love, he could not contain the excitement he was feeling. He had been waiting for this moment for so long, he wanted it from the moment you became his girl. But you both waited, waited for the perfect moment – you enjoyed your time alone with each other, you traveled around the country, stayed in your favorite cities, you spent a summer in Italy, just the two of you. 

You got married pretty early on in your relationship, you both knew what you wanted, there was no point in waiting to put rings on each other’s fingers but you decided to wait with kids, well, Steve was open to having them from the start, but you weren’t ready until about three months ago – the moment you have told him that you were off birth control, he pounced on you, ready to take you in every way possible, and he did, he did it a lot, not only that night, but all the following days and weeks, he took you absolutely everywhere, at any time. You thought that he was intense before but what followed after you told him that you were ready, topped everything that you had done in the past. 

He kissed your neck, your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, he covered your whole face in kisses before his lips touched your own, he made you both giggle. “I love you, baby, I love you so fucking much,” he mumbled against your lips as his tears fell down on you, his soft eyes gazed into your own as his hand cradled your belly. 

“I love you, Stevie,” you whispered and brushed your fingers through his messy hair, adoring the way the glasses adorned his pretty face. 

More giggles fell from your lips when he started kissing down your body before he settled between your legs, lifting your shirt, he smiled before he pressed his lips to your belly, kissing it softly as he reached for your hand, entwining his fingers with yours, he looked up into your eyes, showing nothing but love for you. 

“Hey,” he whispered into your belly, “you’re probably the size of a pea right now and don’t understand a thing I’m saying.” 

His lips twitched at the sound of your sweet laughter, he squeezed your hand and held on tighter. 

“But hi, I’m your dad,” he whispered as another tear fell from his eye, nothing short of adoration for you and your baby, pride swelling in his chest the more reality was sinking in, “I can’t wait to meet you,” his voice getting higher, his heart beating faster, “and I love you and your mommy so much, sweetpea.” He spoke as he pressed another kiss upon your warm skin. 

There was no bump yet, but he already treated your belly like there was one, so much giddiness lingered in him at the thought of your future, of your growing family.

The family that he has now. 

“I missed you more, my love,” he smiles softly, feeling the urge to just lift you up into his arms and carry you up into your bedroom, get in bed with you and hold you in his arms. 

“Go lay down, I’m gonna get started on dinner.”

You place your hand over his, toying with his wedding ring. You shake your head, “I can help–”

“No, baby, my two girls need to rest,” he says, smiling as he rubs your belly. “Besides, Eddie is gonna be here soon with the–”

The door is banged open before he can even finish his sentence, startling you both before Eddie’s voice sounds through the hallway. 

“Children delivery!” 

Eddie steps into the kitchen, like he knew you’d both be here, carrying the two boys effortlessly, the older one of them on his shoulders and the other under his arms, already grinning at the sight of you.

“Daddy, Uncle Eddie taught me how to sword fight!” William exclaims, grinning proudly at his father while his little brother babbles away. 

“Uncwe Ewwie wade gookies!” Elliot smiles excitedly. 

Steve grins, eyes lighting up just the way yours do, you beam at your boys, smiling brightly as Eddie sets them down and they rush over to you, hugging your legs. You lean down and kiss their foreheads, brushing back William’s wild hair that resembles Steve’s so strongly, just like the hazel in his eyes. 

“Hi mommy,” he smiles at you before he kisses your belly, whispering a soft ‘hello’ to his sister as his brother imitates him, making you chuckle while your husband watches with adoring eyes. 

Steve crouches down to his boys and pulls them into his arms, making both of them giggle as he smacks his lips against their cheeks, greeting them cutely. 

Your best friend chuckles as he watches your youngest, how he wraps his arms back around your leg the moment Steve lets them both go, while William makes his way out of the room and brushes past Eddie, no doubt making his way upstairs into his room. 

“Did you bring us some of the cookies Uncle Eddie made?” You ask, smiling at your boy.

He shakes his head, pouting cutely as he looks between you and Steve, “I ate all gookies!” 

Chuckles fall from your and your husbands lips, sharing amused glances with one another before he leans down and picks up Elliot into his arms, tickling his belly, the little boy giggles loudly. 

“You ate all the cookies?” Steve gasps, beaming at his kid, “you’re the cookie monster, aren’t you?”

Elliot giggles and shakes his head at his dad. 

“Oh yeah,” Eddie nods with raised eyebrows, stepping closer to the three of you, “he is a little cookie monster.” 

“No, Ewwie!” The little boy exclaims, hiding his face in the crook of Steve’s neck, yawning as he snuggles against his dad. 

Eddie laughs as he throws his arm around your shoulder, patting your belly softly, “alright alright, you’re not the cookie monster, buddy. But your sister is, your mom can eat a whole batch of cookies nowadays.”

Steve and Elliot giggle at Eddie’s words, while you glare at your best friend who grins at you, shrugging, “what? She has a sweet tooth, just like her mom.”

Eddie winks at you, the youthfulness still so deeply in his features, the playfulness in him still there, never leaving. His hair is just as long as it was years ago, if not longer, his band t-shirts still taking up most of the space in his closet, a few more rings adorn his fingers now, more tattoos on his arm and his chest, peeking out from beneath his shirt. 

“Mhmm,” your husband nods, smiling softly at you as he lets Elliot down when he starts wiggling with his feet, he runs out of the kitchen the moment his dad puts him down, following his brother upstairs. 

“Robin made you carrot cake, by the way, it’s in the fridge.” 

Your eyes widen, lighting up at his words. Your mouth waters instantly, stomach grumbling at the mention of your newest craving. 

Eddie chuckles at the expression on your face, the wide and excited eyes resembling the ones of a kid on christmas morning. 

“I’m gonna kiss Robin.”

“Uh oh,” Eddie laughs, staring at Steve who frowns at you playfully, “be careful, Harrington, Robin knows how to steal girls.” 

“Nobody is stealing my girl,” Steve shakes his head, wrapping his arm around your waist, he brings you closer and kisses your temple, “she’s mine.” 

You place your hand on your husband’s chest, nuzzling your face into his shoulder. 

“All yours, Lego Head.”

Eddie snorts at the nickname you have been using again lately, teasing Steve with it, every chance you get, but your husband only shakes his head with a smile on his face as his soft eyes gaze down into yours just as lovingly as they did back then, if not more. 

It’s been seven years, almost eight, that you and Steve had found your way to each other after denying the bond that had always been there, seven years of this, of lovesick smiles and a bond that is unexplainable to anyone who never experienced a love like yours. You and Steve share something otherworldly, almost like you were made for each other, like you were made with each other, you got something that nothing could ever come between, absolutely nothing, not even death – Eddie is convinced. 

Wherever one goes, the other will follow. 

He sees the love you share, he sees the way your eyes speak to one another, how sometimes, neither of you has to use words to know what the other wants or needs, there is an understanding between you, no matter what happens, no matter what is going on, no matter the peace or the distress in your lives, you got each other and as long as you do, you both will be okay. 

The vows you shared on your wedding day were nothing but truthful and honest words spoken from your hearts, your souls. No emptiness behind them, no promises to ever be broken but ones to keep not in force but in nature, nothing but love and adoration in your hearts for the other – maybe a slight possessiveness but only a healthy amount, a good kind. 

Yours and Steve’s wedding will always be something that Eddie looks back at with joy and humor because you weren’t freaking out, neither was Steve, you were both calm, both at peace, both giddy and excited for the day you had been waiting for. 

But Eddie, he was freaking out and so was Robin, both excited for their best friends but emotional at best. 

Eddie cried when he saw you in your dress, he walked you down the aisle with a blurry vision, tears he tried to blink away were falling. You and Steve giggled through your own tears at your best friend who placed your hand into your fiance’s palm like an emotional father, not ready to see his little girl on the altar. 

Eddie is so deeply lost in his thoughts as he stares at you both with a smile on his face, he doesn’t even hear the doorbell, only when you leave the kitchen, and Steve nudges his shoulder, does he snap out of it. 

“You tired from babysitting all day, Munson?” 

Eddie snorts, grumbling under his breath as he cracks his back. 

“You better not make me babysit six kids in the future, or I swear on my uncle–”

“You love my kids, Munson, stop whining.”

“That’s right, I bet my favorite one is gonna be the girl, I just know she’s gonna be a little rockstar, a metalhead like her favorite uncle,” Eddie grins proudly. 

Steve rolls his eyes, shaking his head in amusement. 

“Are you sure you’re gonna be her favorite?” He asks as he gestures to his boys running down the stairs when they both step into the hallway to see who rang the doorbell. 

“Max!” William smiles excitedly, running up to her to greet her, ready to talk her ear off about his day with Uncle Eddie. His brother giggles, throwing himself into Lucas’s arms who picks him up with a smile on his face. 

“Hey little Steve,” Lucas jokes as he ruffles Elliot’s hair, “how are you buddy?” 

Eddie sighs, placing his hand over his heart, a dramatic yet playful look residing on his face. 

“I thought I was the favorite.” 

Steve pats Eddie’s shoulder, “you’ll live.” 

“Hey red,” Eddie calls out to his ‘step’ sister who nods along to William’s words, a smile upon her face. “How’s little red holding up in there?” 

She scrunches her nose up, placing her hand on her small bump, “she’s making me nauseous.” 

Lucas nods with wide eyes, “mhm and very hangry.” 

Steve and Eddie chuckle while she glares at the three of them. 

“Don’t worry, the nausea will pass,” you assure her, knowing just how awful the nausea can be in the first few months, how the morning sickness can drive you up the wall. Steve knows it too, he found you crouched over the toilet one too many times but he had always done such a good job at taking care of you, always there to pull your hair out of your face and rub your back, even when you told him to get out of the room and save himself from seeing you that way, like he would ever leave you to deal with anything by yourself. – He cooked for you, even took it upon himself to learn how to bake to satisfy your cravings, he never came home empty handed, he still doesn’t, he does everything to sweeten your day, absolutely everything. Not because you’re asking for it, you never would, not because he feels like he has to, no, he wants to, he wants to see the smile on your face, he wants to love on you, he loves to spoil you. 

“Yeah, Blondie is the expert, she knows all about it, she’s only got like what? Three more pregnancies to go?” Your best friend cackles, making Steve’s cheek go red as the metalhead reminds him of the drunken night he told him that he would put six babies into you. 

Max and Lucas both chuckle while Steve groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“You’re doing good with it so far, you’re already halfway through!” Lucas grins, wiggling his eyebrows between you and your husband, gesturing to your bump, while Elliot’s big eyes flicker back and forth curiously. 

“Daddy bought me a new skateboard!” William exclaims, tugging at Max’s hand as he completely ignores the conversation happening in the room. 

“He did?” Max smiles down at him. 

“Yeah! Let’s go!” He drags her away, excitedly, beckoning Lucas to come with him as well, to which he chuckles, still holding Elliot in his arms as he follows the little boy and his girlfriend, their voices echoing in the living room. 

Steve wears a smile on his lips, his eyes following them until they step out into the backyard. Tilting his head back to you, his eyes soften only further, he pushes himself off the wall and makes his way towards you, reaching his hand out to yours, he takes it softly and pulls you into his arms, kissing your temple, his chest flutters when he breathes in your sweet scent. 

A content sigh falls from your lips as you lean into your husband, resting your head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. 

“Are you feeling alright, honey?” He murmurs, looking down at you with gentle eyes as his palm rubs your belly. 

“Yeah,” you smile, nuzzling further into him. 

“Right,” Eddie clears his throat, pretending to be annoyed by the affection you’re both displaying (constantly), “I’m gonna get going, I’m taking my honey out on a date.” 

“Ooh, where are you taking her?” You ask. 

“Nothing special, we’re going to the movies and then we’ll get some dinner at Enzo’s.”

“That’s nice, Eddie,” Steve shakes his head at him, any date, any moment is special when it’s spent with the right person, he knows it. 

“Yeah, I love a movie date and dinner!” 

Eddie chuckles at your enthusiasm, “yeah, you only do it like every week,” he huffs in amusement. 

“We love it,” Steve shrugs, looking down at you with loving eyes. 

“I know you do and well, I do too so I’m gonna go now,” Eddie says, patting Steve on his shoulder before he ruffles your hair and pinches your cheek, “take care of yourself, mama and listen to your hubby when he tells you to rest.” 

Steve chuckles at the way you slap your best friend’s hand away, glaring at him. 

“I get enough of rest–”

“No, you don’t, honey,” Steve shakes his head, “can’t rest for a single second, you always gotta do something.”

You pout at him, making his eyes soften only further. He leans down and presses his lips to yours before you can protest. 

“That’s my cue,” Eddie mumbles, he opens the front door, shouting a goodbye to the boys and to Max and Lucas. He winks at the both of you, grinning when you pull away from one another, “bye lovebirds, enjoy your free time while your two babysitters are keeping your nuggets busy.” He wiggles his brows and cackles, walking out of the door with an amused look on his face, he looks back one more time before he shuts the door, leaving you both to yourselves. 

Giggles and voices come from the garden, the sun is still high up in the sky, warmth seeping into the house through the open doors and windows. One peek out in the backyard, you can see William showing his newest tricks to Max while Elliot plays basketball with Lucas, squealing and giggling every time Lucas picks him up so he can shoot the ball into the net. 

“Hmm,” Steve hums with a smile on his face, positioning himself behind you, he wraps his arms around your waist, placing one hand under your belly and the other on top of yours, he leans down and props his chin up on your shoulder after kissing it, “let’s order dinner tonight and just relax.” 

You lean your head back against his chest, tilting your head to the side, you look up at him, eyes big and soft – something that still drives him crazy. 

“Relax?” You giggle when you see the smirk on his lips. 

He nuzzles his face into your neck, kissing you softly, “I just want you all to myself for a moment, I missed you all day, darling.” 

Your eyelashes flutter, a sweet sigh falls from your lips when he continues to pepper your neck in kisses, you wrap your hand around his wrist, giving it a squeeze, “I missed you too, Stevie,” you whisper. 

“Ten minutes, baby, I want ten minutes with my beautiful wife,” he murmurs against your neck, sucking teasingly, making you melt into his arms further. 

Your heart flutters in your chest, a small but needy whine escapes you, “ten minutes,” you whimper.

Steve doesn’t need to be told twice, he smacks his lips against your skin once more before he turns you around and he cups your cheeks, leaning down, his nose touches yours, his lips brush against your own, “I love you so much, Blondie,” he teases you with the nickname before he kisses you softly, making you smile against him. 

You place your palm above his fluttering heart, resting your other on the back of his neck, “I love you so much, Lego Head,” you tease him back. 

He chuckles, leaning his forehead against yours, his soft eyes stare into yours lovingly. He reaches his hand up to your necklace, the one you haven’t taken off since he got it for you all these years ago. 

“Where are your glasses, honey?” You ask, sliding your hand from his neck to cup his cheek, thumb caressing his cheekbone. 

Steve scrunches his nose up, “I don’t like them.”

He didn’t even like the reading glasses he needed at first, he refused to wear them, claiming that he didn’t even need them. He was squinting his eyes like crazy, it was clear that he struggled to make out the words in the books he was reading, eventually he caved and started wearing them. 

But now he needs them for more than just reading and he hates it, he only puts them on when he’s driving and takes them off for everything else, throws them into the drawer in the nightstand and lets them sit there until he has to drive somewhere again. 

“Well, I think that you look very handsome wearing them,” you smile, licking your lips as your eyes flicker between his soft eyes and his very kissable mouth. “Very, very handsome,” you whisper and blink at him, innocently. 

Your husband smirks at the suggestive tone in your voice, his cheeks heat up, warmth surging through his body. 

“Oh, yeah? Well then, I gotta put them on for you… right now.” 

A squeal almost falls from your lips when he picks you up suddenly, carrying you up the stairs, bridal style, just like on the day you got married and just like on many occasions after. 

Steve kisses your cheek on the way up, grinning at you excitedly, lovingly. His heart swells when you hold onto him tighter, laying your head on his shoulder and nuzzling your nose into his neck. 

He adores you, he adores you so much, if his heart could explode from all the love he holds for you, then it would’ve burst by now. He always knew that he loved hard, before you got together, months and months after dating, but even now after so many years together, after creating this beautiful family, he keeps on falling, loving you harder, each day. 

It’s all he ever wanted. 

And you both had to go through such darkness to get here, he spent so many nights wondering if you’d both be here if things never happened the way they did, back then. – He hates to think of a life without you in it, he despises the thought with all his being. 

“Blondie?” He whispers after sitting down on your king sized bed, with you on his lap. 

“Yes?” Your voice is only above a whisper, soft and gentle. 

Steve grabs your chin tenderly, he looks into your loving eyes and smiles.

“I would go through it all again if it meant I’d get to be where I am, right now. I would go through the darkness, through Vecna, through the upside down… I would do it all over again if I’d get all this, you, in the end.” 

There are tears in his eyes and in yours, not of sadness, only of love. 

“I would do it all over again too, Stevie,” you whisper with no hesitation. 

“Yeah?” He asks softly, gazing at you with teary eyes. 

“Yeah,” you nod and lean your forehead against his, “anything for my love.”

His cheeks grow pink every time you call him that, heart beating wildly in his chest, he places his hand on your belly, stroking it softly. 

“Anything?”

“Mhmm, anything.”

“Be my forever,” he whispers softly, lips ghosting over yours in a smile, eyes big and sparkly – like you aren’t his forever already. 

“You already are, silly,” you peck his lips, making him grin against you, “you’re my forever.”

He cups your cheeks fully now, kissing you stronger and deeper, holding you like he will never let you go – and he won’t, he won’t ever let go. 

“And you are mine, Blondie.” Steve kisses you again and again. “My forever.”

It’s hard to believe you were once behind one of the mall’s pillars, hiding from his view, watching him serve ice cream in that stupid sailor outfit while you tried to earn up the courage to talk to him, to really talk to him for once in your life.

It’s hard to believe that he was once looking at you from afar, watching you walk through the hallways without glancing twice towards the same person, wishing you would look at him at least once.

Hard to believe that you two never realized you were performing a stupid dance, be it around each other or with each other for years and years, and now that dance is over. Is it? No. You are still dancing, but now, it’s synchronized, magnetized, and a dance that cannot be broken. 

A dance that now is shared with multiple people, with family you thought you would never have again, with family he thought he never deserved, with friends that stuck to you both like glue, and with your children that giggle every time you twirl around one another. 

But just because it is hard to believe, doesn’t mean that it would’ve never happened, that it shouldn’t have happened, that it wasn’t supposed to happen. You would have found your way to each other, even without the darkness that pushed you into each other’s arms, the darkness that allowed you to find the happiness and love that you share with each other now. 

Forever. And ever… And ever. In this universe, in the next, and the rest to come.

The End. 

♡

@prettyboyeddiemunson @mysticmunson @taintedcigs @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles @thecreelhouse @maroon-cardigan @sherrylyn0628 @corrodedcorpses @munson-mjstan @moon-flowerrs @munsonlore @agirlwholovesrockstars

[autisticsupervillain]

Someone needs to do a thing about Phoenix Wright becoming a Tumblr celebrity/meme in universe, getting treated in a similar way to how we treat Hbomberguy irl. You cannot tell me that Tumblr wouldn't see a lawyer solve a fifteen year old cold case by cross examining a parrot and not immediately declare him our king.

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Werewolf--Sex:

On trial rn and my defense attorney seems to be lowkey flirting with the prosecutor and it's really killing the mood ngl.

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Steelsamuraiass:

OP, your attorney is Phoenix Wright. He's been married to that Prosecutor for fifteen years. I even credits him for inspiring him to take up law in the first place.

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Werewolf--Sex:

Aw, that's actually really sweet.

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Engarde-Simp:

Didn't that guy once solve a fifteen year old cold case by cross examining a parrot?

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Werewolf--Sex:

What?

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Wrightworthkismesis:

Newbies discovering the pure insanity that is Phoenix Wright's career will never not be funny. Your trial is gonna be legendary.

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Engarde-Simp:

Did you really not do any research on your attorney before hiring him?

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Werewolf--Sex:

Doing research rn. This guy's career is insane. Listed in no particular order, my attorney, Phoenix Wright has apparently:

Needed to have evidence law explained to him mid-trial

Proven the existence of ghosts to win his trials(?????????)

Defended an orca in court.

Only lost three times in his entire career (absolutely fucking insane if you know how Japanifornia's legal system is. Tbh, defendants are screwed in our current system.)

Successfully proven that the prosecutor committed the crime his client was accused of by checking him with a metal detector.

Claims to have a magic necklace that can let him see lies??????

Was once nearly taken out by the mafia.

Once got impersonated by a dude with a cardboard badge.

Repeatedly been assaulted by witnesses and even prosecutors? Like, one of them straight up tazed him and he was once apparently whipped unconscious in court???

Survived getting hit by a speeding car and being sent flying, falling through a burning bridge, and all the times he got assaulted.

Also, that description of his relationship with the Prosecution really doesn't do any justice. Apparently, Phoenix only started practicing law so he could meet this man in court again.

Who gave this indestructible homosexual a law degree? He clearly has too much power.

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Sold-To-Gavinners:

Actually! Phoenix Wright is a fraud who got disbarred for forging evidence! I'd really appreciate it if we stopped ignoring all the bad things he did just because he's gay.

#anti-pw #freekristoph #antijurorsystem #anti-matt engarde

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Engarde-Simp:

Of all the Gavins, why'd you decide to simp for the one whose a creepy lawyer serial killer? The other one's the one with the band ya know.

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Sold-To-Gavinners:

Your name is literally Engarde-Simp.

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Wrightworthkismesis:

Wasn't Phoenix blackmailed into that trial and that's why he lost.

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Steelsamuraiass:

Yeah, apparently Matt hired an assassin to kidnap his girlfriend or something.

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Wrightworthkismesis:

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Steelsamuraiass:

Googled it. Apparently it was his co-council. They're just friends from what I can tell.

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Wrightworthkismesis:

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Warewolf--Sex:

Got declared not guilty btw. Apparently the real killer was the Judge.

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OfficialPWPost:

Official Phoenix Wright post.

[dgmana]

Layla has more energy tonight. Ended up biting my hand and not letting go to get my attention. I didn’t know how to get her off besides taking her arms off around me which seemed to upset her. I didn’t have a toy handy so I was unable to distract her immediately. She didn’t seem as affectionate after that even though I played with her for awhile. She likes to bite a little of grab a little when she wants to play but this was a full death roll grab (she’s a cat not a gator but best way to explain it) with no intention of letting go. It must have been because instead of right after dinner for her I was working on some much needed chores having to ignore her pleas for some attention/play. She grabbed me once I finally sat down and finally ate but it was later than our usual time. I hope this doesn’t affect our relationship since it is a one time thing.

[inkskinned]

for the longest time my family used to host one of the biggest haunted houses on my block: elaborate, themed amateur haunts that pearled out along our lawn for one-night-only. spinning circus wheel-of-terrors and walkthrough alien crash-landings and spiders that arched over our driveway, leaking venom onto your feet.

we didn't have a lot of money; and honestly i don't know how we afforded what we did have. there were not going to be pneumatics or projectors or any supply over 20 dollars - and even 20 was a stretch. we were lucky, and we lived in a town that had a "swap shed", where people would drop off any banged-up-but-usable items that they wanted to get rid of. the whole year, my family would pick over someone else's discarded fans and lights and weird decorations, asking each other - what do you think? for halloween?

we would strip the motors out of rusted fans and spraypaint vases and saw broom handles in half and apply a very thick coat of cardboard and duct tape to everything. for our pirate year, i made the mistake of individually drawing woodgrain onto each strip of cardboard that made up the ship. i then gently painted and distressed the "boards" so they'd each have lichen and cracks and unusual patterns. i hid eyes in the knots and shaped skulls. you couldn't see any of it in the dark, even under our "spotlight" (someone's target-branded workshop flashlight).

i have a lot of very strange skills as a result. i know how to make a flying ghost appear both physically and in the mirror. i know how to make a witch's brew that stirs itself. i know how to burn and cut and paint until there is an iron throne you can sit on, or an alien brushing your ankles, or a hearse trundling along. i can't say we ever made it beyond our local newspapers, but we tried so hard that the town would regularly shut down our street.

i can't put any of these skills on a resume, and i haven't been able to put them to use for a while. i live in an apartment, there's no lawn for me to decorate. for years i've wanted to do an alice in wonderland theme, and have been collecting ideas like coins in a fountain. at other houses, i am transfixed by 12 foot skeletons and paper mache spooky lanterns; easily wooed by the knowledge of how much time people put in.

someone asked me once - so what was the point? and why didn't you guys charge anything to show up?

in truth, we probably needed the money. for years there, we were a 1-meal-a-day kind of a family. i was being polite earlier up in this essay: we furnished both our house and our halloweens using things left a recycling center. we live in new england and still didn't turn on the heat until the end of november, no matter how low the temperature.

every year we would collect donations for unicef and other charities. on an average year, we would collect enough to pay for our food for weeks. every year, without fail: we donated every penny.

this endeavor took months to plan and design and execute. we had to organize any volunteers and check safety and hope-for-the-best. it took at least 24 hours to set up, a week to take down. the motors and fans and lights all had to be packed tight. the cardboard would scatter, pangea in the rain and sleet. i remember picking up a plank from that pirate ship, the paint blown clear off, all my hard work completely erased. a new kind of driftwood.

if this was a poem, and not a memory, i could wrap this up prettily. i could say that these skills landed me a cool job in the haunting industry or that it taught me the value of friendship and responsibility. but i actually think it's something better, something very pretty: there wasn't ever a moral to it.

the night was a long one. yes, there were assholes, people who broke stuff. but mostly it was just kids like us in cardboard costumes, dressed as an incredibly niche kind of truck. good parents who were friendly and laughing. teenagers who slunk in at late hours, wide-eyed and secretly delighted; who asked us can i help next year? like, do y'all take volunteers, or whatever? every year more people came, and told their friends, and offered to pay. and every year we said maybe next year and meant absolutely never.

we did it because it was enough to love something, and to make that love visible. we did it because there is very rarely an excuse to have fun. i think maybe especially, for me - we did it because every year, there was one first "customer" somewhere around 3-4PM, while we were still putting on the final touches. the sun would still be up, and we were frazzled and always-running-late, and these kids saw our vision unfinished in the bright light of day.

something about their parents murmuring say thank you and telling my mom this setup is so sweet while this little kid would grin up at us, dazzled by our artistic mediocrity. the fall air and the chill and their coat-over-a-panda-princess-costume. that first phrase of the night awkwardly managed over a pair of overly-large vampire teeth: a beautiful and excited trick or treat!

[sturniqlo]

Baby Building- C.S

summary: chris surprises y/n while she out with her friends with a fully finished nursery with the help of his brothers

cw: mild cursing

an: very short, i'm sorry next part will be longer i promise

masterlist | positive masterlist | join my taglist

-----------------------------------------------

twenty weeks pregnant

"Guys, stop fooling around and help build this crib." Chris scolds his brothers, holding up different pieces to the unbuilt crib. "We've been at this for thirty minutes already and all we've gotten done is nailing part A to part R! Which is wrong." Nick places down his water bottle he got from the fridge. "Why'd you choose such a difficult crib to build?" Matt says, unscrewing R from A. "I didn't, Y/n chose it." Chris says handing part B to Matt.

"You didn't think to bring us one?" Chris say, looking at the water bottle. "It was the last one." He shrugs before kneeling down to help build the crib. "I need C!" Matt repeats. "Oh, here." Nick hands it to him.

"Shit, that was actually a fucking workout." Chris stands wiping the slight sweat from his forehead and places his hands in his hips, looking the rest of the things they had to build. Chris was grateful that Y/n only stuck with three things to be added to the baby's room. She had to consider the fact that they weren't going to live in the apartment for much longer.

She decided for only a crib, a dresser/changing station, and a rocking chair to go in the room. The rest would be little decorations here and there. "Alright, should we do the chair and save the hardest for last? Or the other way around?" Chris said, grabbing the water bottle he filled up using the fridge.

"Let's get the dresser done." Chris grabs the cardboard trash and sets it outside the room to create more space in the small room. "Wait, let me turn the air conditioner lower, it's getting so hot in here." He tugs on his tank top and walks out of the room while Nick gets the dresser box open.

"My eyes are hurting from looking at all these pieces." Matt rubs his temples. "Where are the instructions?" Chris looks through the pile of styrofoam. "Over here." Nick opens the booklet. "So we need to screw this piece to that piece." He points to the pieces close to Matt.

As they continue to build the dresser, they keep up a small conversation. "We're not painting or anything right?" Chris shakes his head. "No, I asked the building manager and he said no. Y/n likes the color of the walls, anyway." He says as he screws the top of the dresser in. "What's she doing today?"

"Not sure, I asked her friends to take her out today but, I don't know what they're doing. Probably shopping." Chris shrugs. "I should've gone with them instead of building with you two." Nick sighs. For the next thirty minutes, they finished up the dresser and Chris built the rocking chair alone, which wasn't too much of a hassle.

"Absolutely, not." Nick says. "What? Why not?" Chris questions. "That lamp is not going on the floor, that's stupid!" Nick goes to grab the lamp from Chris and he then places it on the corner of the dresser. "Look, it's much better here." Nick looks at Chris. Matt laughs by the windows, finishing putting the curtains up. "I'm so glad Y/n had everything picked out and you didn't choose the aesthetic of your baby's nursery. Who knows what you would've chosen."

They finish decorating the room and it's just as Y/n had envisioned it. A couple of weeks ago, both Y/n and Chris were in here and Y/n was pointing out where she wanted everything to go and Chris took note of it. As a thank you to his brothers, Chris orders them lunch before they head out. Halfway through them eating their burgers. Chris gets a text from Y/n's best friend, Pearla.

Are you guys almost done? Y/n looks tired. Chris feels a bit bad, knowing how tired Y/n has been getting lately. We're finishing up our lunch but you guys can start coming back. He quickly types back. "She's on her way." Chris says out loud.

Finishing their food, Matt collects their trash and throws it out. "As much as we want to stay and see her reaction, we need to go home and shower and take a fat nap." Matt stretches, his shirt riding up a bit. "I agree, let me know when she gets home so I can call her." Nick grabs his tote bag off of the chair. "Alright, I'll see you guys in a few days." Chris says goodbye to them as they walk out the door, following behind so he can lock the door. "Bye!" They both say.

Chris quickly hops in the shower so he won't be a sweaty mess when Y/n gets home. From their bedroom, Chris throws his dirty clothes in the hamper and hears the front door opening. "Baby, I'm home." He hears Y/n's voice, followed by the door closing. "Hi, babe." He sees her once he exits the room.

"Missed you today." Chris kisses her and grabs the many bags she is holding. "Missed you more." She ruffles his wet hair. "Have you eaten already?" She asks, taking her purse off. "Yeah, I ate about thirty minutes ago. You? Have you eaten?" He places the bags down on the kitchen island.

"Yes, we went to that one cafe I love." She can drool on the spot just thinking about the croissant sandwich she had earlier. "Love that place. I have a surprise for you." He says as Y/n was grabbing one of the six bags to show him what she had bought. "Do you? My haul can wait, show me!" She says.

"No, no. Let me see what you bought first. I think some things can go with the surprise." He pushes the rest of the bags towards her. "Ugh, okay." She goes through with haul fairly quickly, trying to get the surprise faster.

"Here, let me bring these bags." Chris grabs the four bags that contain baby stuff. "Follow me this way." He nods his head towards the baby nursery. "Okay." Chris lets her go first. "Wait! Close your eyes." They stop in front of the door. "I'm nervous, did you do what I think you did?" She says happily, having an idea of what the surprise might be. "Maybe? Maybe not." He opens the door fully. "Okay, open 'em!" Y/n opens her eyes and gasps, Chris places the bags down near the door.

"Chris! You didn't! It's so pretty!" She squeals, looking around at the finished nursery. "You did all of this?" She turns back, wrapping her arms around his neck and his hands come to her waist. "I had some help from Matt and Nick. You like it?" He mumbles against her lips. "I love it, thank you, baby." She kisses him hard. "I hope you don't mind the things I changed around- well Nick did it." Y/n smiles. "It's perfect. I like the lamp better on the dresser than near the window."

"Oh! That's where you wanted it! I originally had it on the floor, but Nick yelled at me." They both laugh. "Seriously? The floor?" Chris rolls his eyes and tucks his head into her neck. "I know, I know! Sounds bad now that I think about it."

Y/n let's go of Chris and walks around the room. "Can we bring in the baby's clothes?" She asks Chris. "Of course we can. I waited for you so we can do that?" He stands behind her, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "Thank you, we'll just have to wash them before our baby is here." She rubs her belly that was growing everyday.

In their room, they grab all the bags of baby clothes they had bought and bring them to the room. Earlier, the triplets had stored all the boxes of diapers and wipes in the nursery closet. "Look at this one, it's so tiny!" Chris holds up a cream colored onesie. "Why are baby clothes so cute. I can't wait until she's here." Y/n smiles and pecks his lips. "Me either, can't wait for our little vacation though. Enjoy our time together until we're finally parents."

"We still need to pack for that." Y/n was cleared by her OB that she was okay to fly by the time their vacation came around. "I can't wait to go to Italy with you."

[wileys-russo]

I know the beds in the village are supposed to be “anti sex” without technically being anti sex lol. I feel like jenni or misa (your choice who to write for) on the high of the Olympics would absolutely make it their mission to prove they’re not sex proof beds only to actually break them. Would love a little blurb about that if you have time 💞💞

cardboard beds II j.hermoso (18+)

"did you know-" you sighed as your airpod was suddenly tugged out and someone slid into the once vacant seat beside you on the bus, turning to look at the girl with a raised eyebrow.

"what happened to 'mi amor i can see you are tired, i will let you rest and go annoy someone else'." you mocked, your girlfriend gasping dramatically and holding your airpod out of reach as you tried to take it back.

"those are not my words, i do not know who has been calling you mi amor other than me...but if i find them, there will be trouble." jenni tutted with a shake of her head, allowing you to snatch your airpod back from where it was clasped between her slender tattooed fingers with a roll of your eyes.

"de todas formas. back to what i was saying-" your girlfriend made herself comfortable beside you, feet kicking up onto the headrest of the chair in front of you as patri turned around and pushed them off with a glare.

maturely jenni stuck her tongue out at the younger girl, one arm slipping over the back of your chair as she shuffled even closer to you. ”angry eyebrows.” your girlfriend teased, licking her thumb and smoothing them out as you made a noise of disgust and slapped her hand away.

no longer alone you gave up on any chance of a power nap after training, still struggling slightly to adjust to the routine of the tournament a couple of days in. you snapped your airpods into their case and zipped them back into your bag, flicking your girlfriends ear as she chattered away to ona in the row across from you

"you were saying?" you sighed cocking an eyebrow at the taller girl who grinned, sloppily kissing your cheek as you pulled a face and pushed her away, unsure how she never seemed to tire or have an off switch despite training hard in the french sun for the last three hours.

"sí as i was saying, oh wait actually-" she sat up a little straighter, eyes roaming the bus clearly looking for someone as the tiny sliver of patience you had left for her games started to dwindle even further.

"jenni! oh dios mio the point, find it." you groaned, elbowing her as she grunted but settled back into her seat. "vale. so our beds, cardboard sí?" your girlfriend asked rhetorically as you hummed tiredly.

"if that is all you suddenly realized after two days-" you started with a shake of your head as she dismissed you with a wave. "no no, let me finish." the girl shushed you as you sighed but nodded for her to go on.

"well-you know you look so pretty today cari, being an olympian looks good on you." jenni grinned interrupting herself, pointer finger poking your nose as you stared back unimpressed.

but knowing her well enough you could see she was clearly trying to bait you into some sort of reaction for her own amusement by testing your patience, a reaction which you wouldn't be giving her.

"vale the cardboard beds. so laia was speaking to one of the staff members who overheard someone from the argentina team speaking to one of the chefs say that they were supposed to be anti sex. introduced in the last games because everyone was found to be having sex in the village!" your girlfriend beamed, clearly proud of her little discovery as again you only hummed.

"aparentemente they will break and collapse if there is more than one person on them." jenni added on, wiggling her eyebrows as her face nearly split in two from the cheshire like grin which enveloped it.

"muy bonito. is that it?" you questioned, shifting slightly in your seat and closing your eyes hearing your girlfriend scoff beside you. "qué? you do not find that interesting?" jenni asked in disbelief as you shrugged, not particularly as moved by her discovery as she was.

"no realmente. a bed is a bed, a rumor is a rumor, rules are rules." you shrugged yet again, hissing as your girlfriends fingers darted beneath the fabric of your training top to pinch your sides, eyes flying open.

though before you could open your mouth to tell her off her lips pressed quickly but sweetly against your own, words dying out as she smiled charmingly and pushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “te quiero.” she grinned, bright green eyes locked with yours.

"váyase." you shoved her in response, scooting as close to the window as you could get and hearing the midfielder chuckle beside you. "vamos princesa, do you not feel curious about this? not even un poquito?" the girl asked with a pout shuffling closer to you again, squishing her thumb and forefinger together to leave the tiniest of gaps.

"no bebé, en absoluto." you smiled truthfully, hand slapping gently against her cheek. "so you will not eh...test this, with me?" jenni's chin rested on your shoulder and you pushed her head away as her lips grazed beneath your ear.

"will i test if the cardboard beds break by having sex with you, before the tournament even begins?" you asked quietly as you leaned in closer to her, well aware this was anything but a private space for this sort of conversation as your girlfriend nodded gleefully.

"mm....no." you breathed out against her lips, pulling right back and leaning your body against the wall of the bus, eyes closing again. "amor!" jenni scoffed, clearly not impressed with your answer as the corners of your mouth tugged into a smile and you shooed at her with your hands.

"váyase hermoso."

though jenni forever a persistent woman you weren't surprised when this wasn't the last you heard about her little cardboard bed theory, exiting the bathroom after a shower and sighing seeing the small group gathered in your bedroom.

"qué estáis haciendo?" you asked sceptically, flicking your head forward and scraping your damp hair into a loose bun, not bothered to dry it before dinner.

"science!" misa announced happily with a grin, her laia and jenni all sat bouncing up and down on laia's bed across from yours. "you know amiga if you let them break your bed, you have to go talk to the staff about a new one, not them." you warned laia, the younger girl faltering for a moment, pausing to think on your words.

"ignore her codi, ella es una party pooper." your girlfriend teased as you rolled your eyes and took a seat on your own bed, watching the three of them goof around clearly trying to see if the rumours about the beds breaking were true.

"see amor! very strong cardboard." jenni laughed as her, misa and codi stood and jumped around on the bed now which somehow didn't crumple beneath their weight, misa swearing as laia tackled her and she hit the mattress with a thump and a groan. "didn't break!" your girlfriend cheered, letting out a war cry and diving on top of the other two.

"idiotas." you mumbled, slipping into your shoes ready to head down to dinner. then it went suspiciously quiet and you looked up, jolting at the three sets of eyes that stared back at you, with a look you knew too well.

"no no no-" you started, trying to get up and make a break for it but you weren't fast enough. "consíguela!" your girlfriend yelled, all three of them launching at you as you groaned beneath them the weight of them jumping on top of you.

"pendejos! get off of me." you grunted, managing to get an arm free and shoving laia who was teetering on top of the pile, sending her tumbling to the ground with a yelp.

misa unable to control her laughter rolled off next, landing on top of laia who groaned through her giggles, your girlfriend still on top of you with a grin.

"you are a twelve year old boy in a grown womans body jennifer!" you shoved her next as the midfielder rolled off the bed and onto the others, all three of them collapsing into a fit of giggles as you rolled your eyes and shot to your feet.

"mi amor venga it was a joke!" the taller girl laughed from the ground as you shot her a dirty look, the other two oohing at the site as jenni wrangled misa into a headlock and laia cheered them on and you left them to it, headed down for dinner.

~

as much as her immaturity could be infuriating at times, you'd been in love with jenni for long enough not to let her jokes or attempts to push your buttons really get to you.

so a few hours later that night everything was fine again, your girlfriend apologizing and sticking to your side being sweet all throughout dinner which meant you couldn't stay annoyed with her for long, ignoring the teasings from your friends about how whipped you were for one another.

"campeóna!" the tattooed midfielder hollered loudly as cata swore and thumped the table tennis paddle down onto the table and storming off, jenni undefeated so far the entire evening.

"alexia?" jenni offered it up with a grin, the blonde next to you chuckling but shaking her head firmly. “ni hablar” 

"oh vamos! no one will challenge the campeóna?" jenni announced, looking around the rec room as a few girls rolled their eyes, most already bested by the older girl at the game she was frighteningly good at.

"cari?" her attention turned to you next, eyebrows wiggling as a few of the younger girls cheered your name, alexia nudging you with an encouraging nod as your girlfriend did a little dance making you smile.

"no, you remain campeóna. but why don't you let someone else have a turn amor." you hinted, jenni pausing for a moment before giving in, leaving both paddles on the table as some of the younger girls all scrambled for them.

"movie?" jenni asked, taking alexia's space beside you as your captain headed off on a phone call, though you saw the slight smile in your girlfriends face and chuckled knowing what she really meant.

"sí claro, a movie."

~

"jenni, cariño we can't." you laughed, knocking away your girlfriends hands where they toyed with the waistband of your shorts, your shirt already removed and tossed over her shoulder at least twenty minutes ago.

you'd returned to the room she shared with misa when you left, a movie the last thing on either of your minds as jenni wasted no time pulling you down onto her bed, soft admissions of adoration shared among tender kisses.

"but princesa we can!" jenni argued with a grin, pointer finger trailing shapes around your hips, snapping the waistband of your shorts with a wink.

"no we can't! did you forget we are not sharing a room?" you smiled in amusement, pushing her hands away again and intertwining your fingers, your foreheads pressed together as you lay side by side on the bed.

"you do not need to worry about misa mi amor, prometo." jenni assured with a sly smile as you gave her a curious look and then it clicked.

"did you tell her not to come in because you want to have sex? jenni!" you gasped in realization, shooting up and narrowing your eyes at her as she merely smiled, folding her arms behind her head.

"qué? you do not want to?" your girlfriend questioned, eyes drinking in your half naked form with a smirk as you scoffed. though before you could speak, she continued on.

"mi vida we have had sex as liga f winners, champions league winners, world cup champions-" she sat up and pushed you back down, hovering over you with a wicked smile.

"-now how about as olympians?"

~

"jesucristo." you panted, head thumping against the pillow as you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to catch your breath, your girlfriends lips kissing softly at your shoulder letting you know she was still there.

"see cari? very strong cardboard." jenni teased, bright green eyes baring down on you with a cheeky grin as you halfheartedly smacked her chest, leaning up to kiss her properly.

"do you want to stop?" jenni asked pulling away, serious for a moment as her hands wrapped around your bare back and her brow creased.

"should we see how strong these beds really are amor? since you are so confident it will not break." you smiled suggestively, gently pulling her hands off and standing, making your way to her suitcase.

your girlfriend watched you curiously though seeing which pocket you unzipped her rosy pink lips curved into a grin of delight, sitting up and catching the bag as you tossed it to her, flipping your hair to one side of your head with a grin that matched hers perfectly.

"no." your hands fell to her shoulders, pushing her back slightly as you returned to the bed and she stood, stepping into the harness as you made yourself comfortable.

"dios mío." your girlfriend groaned as you got on all fours and she moved behind you, flinching slightly as her calloused hands found home in the dip of your back, fingers tracing the tattoos which littered down your spine.

you knew this was her favorite position, your back was one of the only places you had tattoos and your girlfriend made no move to hide how it made her feel to watch the taunt muscles clench and writh as she pounded into you.

which was exactly her plan now and you knew it.

you'd felt her holding back just a little before, as much as she could give it to you fast and rough jenni was also the most attentive lover and never did anything without your conventional say so.

so by putting yourself in this position, you were giving her all the green light she needed and jenni was going to go for gold.

“you look so pretty like this cari, arched out and ready.” jenni purred, her bare chest pressed against your back as her lips trailed open mouthed kissers across your shoulder blades.

your breath caught as you felt the cold silicone knock the back of your thigh, your girlfriends breath hot against your skin as she chuckled and shuffled back up to be behind you on her knees.

you smiled yourself feeling her hand grab the back of your neck, pushing you down even further, hearing her let out a grunt at the way you arched further, ass up in the air.

“mi niña buena.” jenni praised, a slap echoing around the empty room as her hand collected the flesh of your ass, tattooed fingers grabbing your hips and adjusting you a little.

“listo?” her tone shifted for a second, lining up the strap against you as you shivered ever so slightly, nodding in confirmation. “palabras por favor nena.” jenni ordered more firmly, one hand letting go of your hips to smack against your ass again.

“sí, lista.” you confirmed, a low moan leaving your lips as the head of the strap slid in, your forehead pressing into the pillow before you turned your head to the side.

having already made you come twice it didn’t take much for the strap to slide properly inside you, jenni grunting as she bottomed out and you moaned her name.

“faster!” your eyes rolled back as your girlfriend pushed the strap in and out of you at a tortuously slow pace, chuckling at your demand but speeding up her thrusts none the less.

“dios mío jenni!” you moaned arching even further as one of her hands grabbed a handful of your hair, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as she pounded into you, the slap of her bare skin against yours filling the room.

you let out an animalistic groan as tattooed fingers threaded through your hair and tugged, your chin to the sky as your breasts pressed into the slightly firm mattress beneath you.

“now caríno just imagine we do this again-“ jenni grunted, slowing down her pace for a moment as you whined and she pulled sharply at your hair in a silent warning.

“-only this time you can hear my hips hitting yours, the pretty little noises you make as you squirm and arch that perfect ass up for me princesa-“ you gasped as without warning she sped up again, letting out a moan of her own at the way you clenched yourself around the thick cock, your back muscles rippling beneath the tattoos wound down your spine.

“-and this time you can hear the gold medals we’ll be wearing mi amor, clinking and slapping against our skin. olympic campeónas!” you could hear the grin in her voice as you neared the edge, knuckles white as you gripped the sheets beneath you.

jenni let go of your hair and instead moved both hands now to grip your shoulders, her front pressed to your back as she bottomed herself out over and over into you.

your head melted at the firm grunts which left her lips each time she thrusted, nails creating crescent moon dents into the tanned skin of your shoulders as her teeth nipped at your neck sending you into overdrive.

“mierda jenni, close!” you choked out, so caught up in your pleasure and the feeling of your impending orgasm just starting to peak, you failed to hear a crack which didn’t belong to either of you.

“good girl.” the midfielder grunted, accent thick with the english leaving her lips as she pounded into you even faster and you could have sworn you saw god as white overtook your vision, slipping and sliding and teetering before you fell off the edge and all but screamed her name.

but then right as the wave of white hot pleasure hit you and the coil in your stomach snapped, jenni pushed herself to have one foot planted on the bed, intending to ride you right through this orgasm and into another as fast as she could.

but it would seem the universe had other plans as suddenly the bed cracked and both of you let out a series of new noises, the strap sliding out of you as both you and your girlfriend collapsed on top of one another.

“jesus christ jenni did we just-“ you panted, still trying to recover as your girlfriend awkwardly shifted, the strap pressed into your back as the bed had concaved beneath you both.

“sí…we broke it.” she made no move to try and hide the disbelief in her tone, a few more seconds of awkward shuffling before you’d both managed to roll off and onto the floor, jenni sat up as you laid down still catching your breath.

“don’t! don’t you say anything right now.” you sharply warned as the midfielders lips curved into a smirk and she glanced down at you, no doubt some sort of cocky fratboy esque remark on the tip of her tongue.

collecting your thoughts you quickly slipped your shirt over your head, jenni standing and shimmying herself out of the harness as the strap hit the floor with a gentle thump and you winced at the feeling of pulling your underwear back on without a shower first.

“que? dónde vas?” your girlfriend questioned, looking away from where she stood grinning down at the broken bed hearing you move behind her, slipping on your shoes.

“for a shower.” you patted her chest, kissing her and pulling away much faster than she’d like as she caught your wrist. “i have one of those mi amor, good water pressure too.” jenni smirked, a chuckle leaving you in response.

“i don’t know how long you told your roomie to stay away caríno but i’m not getting caught with this and this.” you pointed first to the broken squished bed and than to your girlfriend whose eyebrows furrowed.

“i get picked on enough.” you winked, pecking her lips again and turning to leave as jenni scrambled to slip her training top over her head. “sí by me! and i’m not going to tease you for this. mi vida i am very proud of this!” jenni grinned wolfishly making you roll your eyes.

“oh estoy seguro de que.” you chuckled, unlocking her bedroom door. “i will come with you tonight, codi will not mind.” jenni moved to grab her shoes as you let out a laugh.

“oh amor, you are so cute.” you pouted, poking her nose as she frowned and you pulled open her door, grinning at her and stepping out into the adjoined living room with a sigh.

“since you love to tell and share everything you do with your best friend, you can fill her in all about this and maybe the two of you can cuddle tonight while they find you a new bed.” you winked, jenni’s jaw dropping as you strode off and left her stood in her doorway, spinning around and blowing her a kiss.

“buenas noches bebé! have a nice night.”

[hotvintagepoll]

What are some screwball comedy pairings you wish had been a thing? Can definitely be gay ones :)

Okay finally!

One of the reasons I made this blog in the first place is that few things bring me as much blinding rage as imagining the movies we could have gotten, if old Hollywood had stopped being racist/homophobic/anti-everyone for ten fucking seconds. There were so many talented hotties working through our tournament era who only got cameo spots or no-budget movies! for no reason beyond white supremacy! there were so many stories that didn't get told because heaven forbid we acknowledge gay people! If this blog has a mission statement, a big chunk of it would be about highlighting all the amazing hotties who never got what they deserved in their heyday.

So! Let's tear Louis B. Mayer a new one and make some better movies.

Diamond Eyes (1946)

Harold Nicholas, the bored but fabulous son of a Manhattan millionaire, decides to take himself off on a transatlantic cruise to recover from the boredoms of socialites, constant martinis, and west side glamor. When working girl Rita Hayworth snags him into a fake dating scheme to throw off a jealous ex (Cesar Romero), he doesn't mean to fall in love with his false fiancé—or to set the ex up with his scheming accountant (Tyrone Power).

To the Tune of Millions (1945)

Ann Miller and Lena Horne are conwomen besties who use a fake dance act to get into casinos, which they then promptly rob. Unfortunately, an over-enthusiastic talent agent (Gene Kelly) sees the act and thinks they're legitimate, hiring them on the spot as the lead number in a newly opened but already failing musicale review. Who can they hustle at a theater that's barely bringing in a dime? The two ex-cons fall in love with show business, Kelly and Horne smooch at the grand finale, and Miller has an intense will-they-or-won't-they sparring relationship with the hot stage manager (Ethel Waters—and they will).

Untitled Three's-a-Crowd Film (1942)

Cary Grant, Jean Arthur, and Ronald Colman are running interference on a corrupt justice system while trying to keep up the act that they are all simply cohabitating in a shared AirBnB and definitely not falling in love with each other. Wait. This is actually The Talk of the Town. This movie actually exists and does veer this hard into polyamorous romance.

Tomatoes and Toast (1928)

Anna May Wong and Greta Garbo eat sandwiches for three hours. It's riveting.

One Soul, Two Bodies (1948)

Farley Granger and Vincent Price star as Alexander the Great and Hephaestion in this sword-and-sandals period piece. Though clearly made on a studio backlot with a budget of $3, the dashing romance grounds the chariot races and cardboard sword battle sequences.

Grand Central Station (1931)

Interconnected narratives of Josephine Baker, Joan Blondell, Dolores del Río, and Fredric March all vying for the last seat on the 5:45 train out to Poughkeepsie. When they realize they're jostling to sit next to the same sugar daddy who's been stringing all of them along, the four decide to unionize. Pre-code thrills; the four-in-a-bunk Pullman car scene remains notable for a reason.

I have more but I think I've gone a bit delirious.