#and tbf . there really only is one wrong answer

[strnza]

eliza’s  biggest  ‘judgment  of  character’  question?  she  looks  into  your  eyes  and  asks  you  what  your  favorite  song  of  all  time  is  and  why.  she  watches  the  way  you  react,  the  way  your  eyes  and  body  move,  how  you’re  processing.  just  exactly  how  you  answer  -  do  you  avoid  the  question,  shrug  it  off,  not  understand  the  importance  of  it,  criticize  the  prompt  and  /  or  say  that  it’s  'too  hard  of  a  question'?  do  they  answer  at  all?  if  they  answer  with  a  song  (or  a  few),  do  they  give  reasoning?  is  it  sentiment  or  is  it  fraudulent  or  is  it  genuine  or  is  it  the  need  to  impress  her?  tread  carefully  +  answer  honestly.  (you’ll  probably  be  receiving  an  early  edition  vinyl  of  it,  another  song  recommendation  based  off  your  taste,  and  a  not-so-brief  history  on  the  artist  as  a  surprise  gift.)

[calebslittlecrow]

A Small Take On Letting Go Another ramble about letting go, I know we theoretically already have enough of those. But hey, one more won’t kill you. Depending on who you ask “how to let go”, you will get a bunch of different answers. Some LoA people will tell you “Just release your desire, you already have it” (I can be elbow deep in ice cream and still want more tbf), some shifters will tell you “just let go of this reality!”, before we finally meet the take of “Just forget about what you want entirely!”. The last take is probably a bit hard to do for shifters. Being one blink away from our dream lives and we are supposed to forget about it? Good one. Maybe this is a wild take, but before we jump onto “letting go”, we should probably figure out what we are holding onto in the first place. Otherwise, it’s like trying to paint a dog when you’ve never seen one. That masterpiece will probably end up looking like a deranged potato with legs. And yes, shocker, this is very likely another of those “figure it out yourself” things. No one can pry whatever security blanket you are holding from your death grip, only you can. Maybe you are holding onto this dumpster fire of a reality because it’s still a comfort zone. Familiarity feels safe after all. Or maybe you can’t give up a shred of control and just be for the moment. Who knows? Not me, I'm only here to yap. But recently (like 4am this morning), my surviving braincell sparked to life (stunning display of cognitive function, really): Letting go isn’t about your desires. It’s not about wanting your DR too much or manifesting wrong. It’s about letting go of the resistance between you and what you want. Shocking, right? If you think about it, shifters who “gave up” and shifted right after didn’t stop wanting their DR, they just stopped fighting the universe to get it. And the moment they let go of their resistance, the universe caved.

I’ll be over here in my corner sulking for a bit, because this took me way too long to figure out.

[jelliewrites]

Rec List — The Adult Industry Edition!

That's right, all the below fics feature Harry or Draco (mostly Draco tbf) working in the sex industry. Please mind the tags for any fic you click on.

You always open (petal by petal) by birdsofshore

Explicit | 65 214

Summary: Harry’s not the kind of person who pays for sex. He really isn’t. Until he is.

This is one of my favourite ever fics featuring Down and Out Draco and an obsessed but delightfully oblivious Harry.

Fantastic Flip Fuck with Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy! by @hoko-onchi-writes

Explicit | 10 898

Summary: Draco fucks Harry. Harry fucks Draco. They are porn stars. That's it.

This is a hugely fun fic where Harry and Draco are porn stars.

Another Mask Behind You by @letteredlettered

Explicit | 116 557

Summary: Draco is a high-end prostitute who hides his identity. Harry unknowingly hires him. And then there is porn, questions about identity, domestic bliss, more porn, and truth as seen through a web of lies. (And then more porn. Seriously, if you don’t want sex scene after sex scene you probably shouldn’t read this. And please read the warnings.)

Another of my absolute favourites, Draco is an escort in disguise hired by Harry. Draco is a fantastically unreliable narrator and the smut is epic.

Nonymity by @shewhomustnotbenamed

Explicit | 11 304

Summary: Anonymity and Harry Potter rarely went hand-in-hand. When he learned about a sex club that hid both the patron's and the sex workers' identities, he knew he had to try. Little did he know that the club had a dark secret.

I came across this little gem while compiling this rec list. It's refreshing to read a first person fic and it handles consent really well.

Freedom to be by @quicksilvermaid

Explicit | 169 560

Summary: Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived.

12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends.

Only nothing feels perfect.

Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place.

Don't want to give any spoilers on this one but there's a BDSM club!

Unhook the Stars by Jad

Explicit | 70 587

Summary: For HP Sexstars 2012. - "Love is like a Rubix Cube: there are countless wrong twists and turns, but once you get it right, it's perfect no matter how you look at it." Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words. Guest appearances by Pansy Parkinson, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, Teddy Lupin, Gregory Goyle, the Weird Sisters, ex-wives, several Weasleys, a Boggart, and a Honey Badger.

Another of my top favourite fics and an absolute classic, Draco is an escort hired by Harry.

Camboy Draco by A_LoveUnlaced

Mature | Art

Summary: Draco is living in the muggle world, working as a cam boy. And he's very, very good at his job.

Some top quality art next. Sadly the fic it is inspired by is no longer in A03, but it kind of reminds me of...

Come As You Are by @its-the-allure

Explicit | 35 016

Summary: When Harry Potter visits a sexy internet chatroom site, he does so with the hope of answering a niggling question: Am I interested in men? He finds more than he anticipated when he stumbles upon a free strip show starring a very familiar person. Just what is Draco Malfoy doing on a Muggle pay-per-view site? And when did he get so fucking fit?

... this super fic which also featured Draco on webcam and stunning art by @itsphantasmagoria

I'm in Love with a Stripper by @kbrick

Explicit | 79 576

Summary: Harry's life is a bit of a disaster across the board, but it's particularly messy when it comes to love. Because Harry might have feelings for his best friend, and he definitely has feelings for his best friend's brother, and he sometimes sleeps with his other friend, for whom he has no feelings whatsoever. Then things somehow manage to get even more complicated when Draco Malfoy twerks his way back into Harry's life one night at a muggle strip club.

Because as it turns out, Draco's a stripper. And he's gotten really, really fit. And his sugar daddy is a married club owner.

What could possibly go wrong?

Draco Malfoy is a stripper! Nuff said 🩷

Embers by @shiftylinguini

Explicit | 25 195

Summary: Werewolf Alphas aren't meant to be alone, or to suppress their ruts indefinitely like Draco has been since he was bitten eight years ago. He needs company, companionship, to knot ― he needs an Omega Heat Companion. At least, that’s what the Healers say, and even Draco can admit contacting the person they’ve referred him to might be nice.

Of course it turns out to be bloody Potter.

This time it's Harry providing his services to Werewolf Draco 🐺

I'm looking for a man in finance. 6'5". Grey eyes by @vukovich

Explicit | 7 728

Summary: Harry's a part-time sex worker. Draco's a piece of shit.

I will read anything this author writes, even a shopping list. This is a great fic which constantly challenges the readers' expectations.

In the Red by @bixgirl1

Explicit | 45 629

When Harry goes looking for a vampire at a Creature club, the second-to-last thing Harry expects is to find Malfoy working there.

The last thing he expects is to fall in love with him.

And finally we have Vampire Draco working in a creature club.

[phyllisamaryllis]

Quick question regarding one of your reposts.

What makes you think that Annabeth would stop Percy from having his depressive thoughts?

Like yeah, I agree we can't blame her for Percy's mental state/thought process into the poison drowning scenario but she's not really completely washed out of fault?

Percy, who only ever wanted to be a normal guy, who was just desperately trying to protect himself and his girlfriend, was treated as a monster when he did. His gf instead of being happy that he's not dying anymore/dead is more focused on how terrified she was OF him, rather than, idk being happy that they are both okay?

Like, wouldn't that affect someone very badly? Realistically speaking? You try your darnest to keep yourself and someone you love safe only for that someone to essentially condemn you for doing that. When you were literally delirious in pain and dying. And just trying to survive and protect her too.

And in a world where it's either they get killed or others do, what was the logic/wisdom behind asking Percy to never do something like that again?

Idk, tbf, I genuinely do think that Annabeth is too self-absorbed to even notice that Percy might have some issues in this regard in the first place. And even if she does, and he speaks to her about it, she won't know what to do with it because in this entire series, it's always Percy comforting Annabeth— never the other way around.

Or worse yet, would see it as an attack/Percy telling her she did something wrong when Percy was only opening up/telling her how he felt.

Idk, pls let me know if you think otherwise though. I do see that you're pretty into the Percabeth/Annabeth crit side of tumblr sp ig it's a bit intriguing to see you defend Annabeth in that post. (Again, which I agree with but also, huh, this would be an interesting convo)

I think I know which repost that is though I deleted it sometime ago. This is going to be a long answer, so I'm putting it under a read more not to clog your feed up.

MY TUMBLR HISTORY

I'm going to digress here and tell you more about my tumblr history, which is necessary for this post to make sense.

The thing is, I joined Tumblr less than a year ago and I soon got into the anti Percabeth/anti Annabeth Chase discourse without looking at both sides.

Back then, I was pretty naive and barely questioned what I saw at all. I just ate up those sometimes unconvincing (and frankly ridiculous at some points) arguments. I just ate them up and made posts that supported them without really thinking my stance through.

It was only recently that I actually started to question if all the anti Percabeth and anti Annabeth Chase content that I'd been consuming and I found out that hey, not all of it is true!

I thought and called Annabeth abusive which is not the case-I think she's toxic and their relationship is unhealthy at some points, but there's a difference between toxic and abusive.

By then, a lot of damage had already been done and I felt pretty embarrassed at some of my posts which I deleted, though they had been reblogged, so I couldn't fully wipe them off. If you see a post that you don't like from me, please come and check my blog for it because chances are that I've deleted it.

The thing to be said is that I've learnt a valuable lesson on tumblr-that I should look at both sides before rashly posting and that I should really remain neutral and not blindly jump into one side without questioning their points and critically thinking about it.

WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT PERCABETH?

Ok, moving on from that-I'm hesitant to call Percabeth abusive.

I do think that the judo flip and bringing up Rachel to keep him on his toes are abuse, but abusive is a pretty strong word which is why I still don't call it abusive, though I understand why you would.

I still, however, think that it's toxic at many points. Yes, there's a difference between toxic and abusive.

REGARDING YOUR ASK

What makes you think Annabeth would stop Percy from having his depressive thoughts?

Well, canon makes a pretty good argument for this.

See, the thing is-Percy loves Annabeth. He loves her wholly, truly, completely. His love is enormous, gigantic-like the raging sea, like a blazing fire, like a calm, sunny afternoon.........eh, I'm getting poetic here, but he really, really loves her. He loves her like he's nothing loved anything before (not even Sally. I'm sorry, but the books just don't expand on Percy-Sally as much as they devote time to Percy-Annabeth).

When she comes into a room, he lights up instantly and wants to meet her. He loves her and she's not his entire world, but she's the hugest portion of it. She was with him all throughout, she's seen him at his most vulnerable (I think) she's just.........irreplaceable at this point.

Percy loves her and she loves him. They love each other and are happy with each other (because yes, you can still love someone and be toxic with them. And you can have happy moments with someone and still have a toxic relationship with them. These two are entirely possible.)

The thing about toxic relationships is that it's extremely complicated. It's not just black and white-it's varying shades of gray.

You think that toxic relationships are constantly miserable, which can be true for some of them, but a lot of toxic relationships have their happy and angry moments.

That's why people stay in them. If it was constantly bad, they'd say, 'Nope I'm out of here' but since there are plenty of good moments, they think- 'No, we can make this work, this won't happen again, it's not that bad, I can give them a second chance' multiple times.

Your toxic partner can make you anxious, but they can also make you pretty happy. They can make you feel black and white at different times. Annabeth makes Percy feel scared multiple times, but she also makes him feel warm and fuzzy and happy and content, which is entirely fitting for a toxic relationship.

So yes, Annabeth can make Percy stop having depressive thoughts, at least for intervals until he lapses back again (based on what we've seen from the books so far).

Like yeah, I agree we can't blame her for Percy's mental state/thought process into the poison drowning scenario but she's not really completely washed out of fault?

Percy, who only ever wanted to be a normal guy, who was just desperately trying to protect himself and his girlfriend, was treated as a monster when he did.

His gf instead of being happy that he's not dying anymore/dead is more focused on how terrified she was OF him, rather than, idk being happy that they are both okay?

Ok, anon, here is where I am going to become pro Annabeth Chase which is probably going to give you whiplash, so I'm just going to warn you.

Annabeth's reaction was entirely realistic and understandable and there was nothing wrong with it. Yes, that's what I'm saying and I will stick to it (go ahead and debate if you want to, though. I'm open to that).

They were in Tartarus. Literal hell. Their surroundings were horrible, it was grim and there was a huge chance that they would not survive. How could she be happy in those circumstances? Let's keep in mind that a goddess just got horribly tortured in front of her. Really badly tortured.

And her boyfriend is doing it-and he's terrifying her with his look and he's reminding her of Luke, whom she loved so badly, who rebelled against the gods, who was so angry and then he died and Annabeth is just so terrified right now.

Blaming her for not being happy that her boyfriend survived and for crying because of everything that happened is extremely dense and imbecilic.

Of course, the fact that she's angry at Percy for making her feel scared when he was just trying to save both of them and was at his wits' end is questionable on her part. He was just trying to save both of them and did not mean to scare her just like she didn't mean to make him feel suicidal (which, again, is not her fault.)

I would've made her feel grateful but also feel angry and have an internal struggle because of that. Percy saved her, he saved both of them and they got out of Tartarus, so why is she angry at him?

But Luke. He looked like Luke. And he was so angry and he was choking a goddess, he was turning against her, even if the goddess was trying to kill them-he went against the divine gods, just like Luke. And look what happened to Luke. Luke shouldn't have done that. Percy shouldn't have done that. But they both did it for the greater good. And look what happened to Luke. And what will happen to Percy?

You get my drift. Of course, I understand Annabeth's reaction in Tartarus, but the fact that she was angry at him afterwards (out of Tartarus) is questionable and could have been written better.

Like, wouldn't that affect someone very badly? Realistically speaking?

Yes, it would affect them! And it does affect him because he feels horrible and tries to commit suicide. And he never actually thinks about this and it's never brought up again and no one ever talks about it because Rick is a coward.

You try your darndest to keep yourself and someone you love safe only for that someone to essentially condemn you for doing that. When you were literally delirious in pain and dying. And just trying to survive and protect her too.

Annabeth did tie Percy's hand behind his back by asking him to not use his powers again, but she didn't condemn him-rather, he condemned himself.

I want to emphasize that Percy's suicide attempts and horrible feelings were not Annabeth's fault nor would she have wanted him to feel that way. The fact that Percy didn't use his powers again is not fully Annabeth's fault.

We can't blame either of them here. Doing that would take away from the greyness and nuance of the situation. Yes, Annabeth asked Percy not to use his powers, but in the context of the situation, we can't blame her and her reaction. Yes, Percy was foolish to follow her orders and do what he did, but using something that horrible when someone you love asks you not to, when you feel horrible that you made them feel horrible, even though it wasn't Percy's fault and he had to do what he had to do.

Their feelings overpowered them and emotion took control over logic and we can't blame either of them since they're two traumatised teenagers who just got out of a horrible situation and their feelings are all over the place and.......nothing comes of it.

Nothing comes of it because Rick is a terrible writer at this point. He never expanded on this or even gave it any thought at all. They never have a scene in which they talk about or discuss it or reflect on it and nothing is learned from it. Percy's attempts suicide and everything's fine. Annabeth doesn't think about the usefulness and gravity his powers and everything's fine. In COTG and WOTTG, Percy and Annabeth........they don't talk about it at all. Everything is fine.......even when it shouldn't be.

And in a world where it's either they get killed or others do, what was the logic/wisdom behind asking Percy to never do something like that again?

This part........yeah, there's no logic in that.

I would have had Annabeth think about Percy's poison powers and realise that they weren't morally bad-they were morally neutral. They could be used do to bad things, but they could also be used to do good things. The person who uses them is morally good or bad, not the powers themselves.

I would also have her grapple with how she disliked them but how she realised that they were useful as well, because I think that her internal conflict about this would be very interesting to read.

Idk, tbf, I genuinely do think that Annabeth is too self-absorbed to even notice that Percy might have some issues in this regard in the first place.

I'm divided on this sentence. I think that she does love him, but half in a normal way, half in a weird, twisted way. Given the current state of their characterisation, when they're just ignoring everything, I don't think that they'd be able to talk it out-they'd just fight really bad and then go back to a false, toxic 'normal' state.

And even if she does, and he speaks to her about it, she won't know what to do with it because in this entire series, it's always Percy comforting Annabeth— never the other way around.

Or worse yet, would see it as an attack/Percy telling her she did something wrong when Percy was only opening up/telling her how he felt.

I think you're right about these last two ones. They really need communication therapy ASAP.

[possibilistfanfiction]

for surgeons au.,, perhaps some hurt/comfort :,)

[hbd @gohandinhand. sorry but tbf... u asked for this lol (also so many of you asked for 'what if bea gets hurt' bc we all share one collective grey's anatomy-ass braincell // also on ao3]

//

‘dr. silva is still in the tumor resection?’

it’s only, like, your fifth week being a doctor, so there are so many things you don’t know all the time; you add dr. villaumbrosia asking this question to the list. still, she’s kind of the scariest person you’ve ever met in your life — unflappable and a little mean to everyone but her patients and their families, talented and whip-smart beyond belief, willing to take on the hardest cases — and so you answer anyway with a nod. you only know this because zaire promised he would come find you just after he’d finished with dr. silva — to celebrate at the bar down the street and hopefully more than that too — but you don’t add that; you don’t think dr. villaumbrosia would appreciate it all that much.

‘okay,’ she says, more shaken than you’ve ever seen her.

‘is something… did something go wrong, or?’

‘with ava’s surgery, no, i don’t think so.’ 

ava is new; you’re not embarrassed to admit that you and basically your whole intern class has been keeping track of who’s with whom amongst the attendings, so you know they’re all either dating or friends or some kind of family. still, dr. villaumbrosia never uses first names at work. 

‘there’s a trauma being flown in,’ she continues. ‘there was an avalanche, and dr. choi was skiing in the backcountry today. i don’t — i don’t know more details.’ she worries her hands for a moment. ‘she hasn’t answered her sat phone.’

‘oh,’ is the best you’ve got, disarmed by the obvious fear that lingers around every inch of her.

‘dr. silva can’t know, if she does come in. not until after he’s finished the hardest part of the procedure and can pass it off.’

not that you were going to be the one to randomly decide to go to dr. silva’s OR and say any of this, but you nod. ‘of course.’

‘i need you to go check on tai; she’s in daycare.’

‘uh, i don’t — i’ve never —‘

dr. villaumbrosia waves you off. ‘she’s cute. looks like choi, acts like silva.’ 

when you don’t respond immediately, dr. villaumbrosia just glares. ‘yeah, of course,’ you hurry to say.

‘and then i need you to go to the ER for the trauma. dr. masters already knows you’re coming; you’re going to see what’s going on and tell me and no one else. got it?’

‘yes, dr. villaumbrosia. will do.’

‘great.’

to be honest, you have no idea where the daycare even is, and this certainly isn’t what you went to a bazillion years of school for, but whatever. maybe this will get you on dr. villaumbrosia’s good side. 

‘and dr. al-najjar?’

you nod.

‘i know this seems ridiculous. but dr. choi is — she’s my favorite person. it’s important.’

you understand in your own way: you facetime your little brother every day, no matter how tired you are, no matter how late or early it is for you. ‘i’ll tell you everything as soon as i can.’

‘good.’

/

tai is, apparently, a fourteen month old, very cute toddler, who really does look like dr. choi. when you explain, very briefly, to one of the daycare teacher that dr. villaumbrosia sent you to see how she’s doing, make sure she’s okay, she nods and shows you over to an area of the room with soft mats and some wooden blocks. tai smiles at you, all baby teeth and big cheeks, and says mostly nonsense but a few words — blocks, doctor, mama — and then promptly knocks over her block tower with definite glee. 

you snap a nice, cute picture of tai smiling in her little giraffe hoodie and send it off to dr. villaumbrosia. you’ve never been a baby guy, and you’re certain she isn’t either, because there’s no way you could ever possibly choose her specialty if you were, but she loves the photo anyway — the first and only time she’ll ever respond to a text from you like that, you’re absolutely certain — and it makes you smile, just for a moment. when you wave goodbye to tai she laughs, and you hope, very concretely, that she goes home with both of her parents tonight, or soon, at least, that her family stays as full and happy and warm as it had been this morning.

/

you feel genuinely nervous and way too invested: you’ve met dr. choi in passing a handful of times, and she’d assisted on one of dr. villaumbrosia’s surgeries once that you’d gotten to hold a retractor for, but according to emma — the best gossip and also dr. choi’s favorite intern, allegedly — says that dr. choi is kind and quiet and a wonderful teacher, patient and skilled and efficient. you’d been looking forward to being on her service soon, honestly, and, even in the past few weeks, you’re starting to understand that the people here, that you spend so much time with, are starting to feel like family.

dr. masters nods at you, her braids already tucked away beneath a cap, trauma gown on. you’re on peds, so you don’t know if you’re really here to help with anything — dr. villaumbrosia wasn’t called down for any consults, still set for the routine bowel repair she’d been scheduled for this afternoon, so you’re fairly certain there weren’t any children coming in — but she gestures toward the gown and gloves anyway.

‘just in case we need more hands on deck,’ she says as way of explanation. ‘there’s four people, and we don’t really know the extent of their injuries.’

you nod — what else is there to say — and things are very, very still until dr. masters gets a page and then everything is moving — loudly, organized, seamless — and you’re in awe, for a moment, of dr. masters’ ER. you love trauma surgery and she’s, like, kind of the biggest badass in the country, and it’s pretty fucking cool to watch her very quickly get everyone exactly where they need to be in the amount of time it takes for her to walk to the elevator that leads up to the helipad.

the wind whips from the blades when the doors open, rainy and miserable, and your heart is caught in your throat when the door opens. you see dr. masters’ hands shake, although you’d never, ever mention it, locked behind her back in tight fists, until dr. choi’s face — a bruise along her jaw, a scrape that runs underneath her eye, all the way into her hair, the tip of her nose and the tips of her ears a painful red, probably from frostbite — comes into view.

dr. choi, strapped into a stretcher, covered in a blanket and hooked up to an IV, immediately starts talking, before the stretcher is even fully out of the helicopter. ‘the three coming out,’ she starts, ‘i dug them out as much as i could. i did an emergency thoracostomy on david, you need to push a ton of antibiotics. anna needs to go to the OR immediately for her pelvis, make sure cam —‘

‘—beatrice,’ dr. masters says, rushing to her side and, if you were to bet, wanting to sink to her knees in relief. ‘oh my god.’

‘i’m fine,’ dr. choi says, annoyed at being made to stay on the stretcher. ‘i properly deployed my avalanche airbag. but mary, listen —‘

dr. masters holds dr. choi’s face in her hands and then kisses the top of dr. choi’s head. it’s tender, and you wonder how long they’ve known each other to afford that level of intimacy, that level of care. ‘i got them, bea. i promise. we gotta take care of you too or ava will kill me.’

dr. choi relaxes, just minutely, but you can tell — maybe because you would trust dr. masters with your life or anyone else’s, maybe at the mention of dr. silva, maybe some combination of both — and she nods.

dr. masters rolls her eyes and kisses the top of dr. choi’s head once more. ‘stupid hero. let me go make all your hard work worthwhile.’

dr. choi smiles, definitely reassured now. ‘you better.’

/

you’re not surprised, exactly, that chief superion is waiting to take over dr. choi’s care, but you are a little surprised when dr. superion squeezes her shoulder gently and smiles, a little sad. 

‘ava is still in surgery, so let’s get the worst of it taken care of before she’s done, yes?’

dr. choi nods, growing more exhausted by the minute. which is fair, you think, as she tells dr. superion — and you, because you’re stuck in this room until you have a real report for dr. villaumbrosia beyond the text you’d sent that just said Dr. Choi is talking and moving, no head or neck injuries — about how the avalanche airbag had worked, even if it was frightening; about how her transceiver, according to SAR, had helped them get there faster than they would have otherwise.  

‘ava always teased me about how expensive the gear was, but look who’s laughing now.’

‘well, to be fair,’ dr. superion says, looking at dr. choi’s x-rays, ‘i don’t think either of you are laughing.’ 

‘oh, yikes,’ dr. choi says, looking at the films too. she’s on a fair amount of pain medicine at this point, but she’s right: there’s a few nasty fractures along the bones in her left wrist. but, other than those and a few cracked ribs and some mild frostbite on her nose, ears, and the tips of her fingers, it seems like it’s just cuts and bruises: nothing she won’t heal from, and far better off than the others who came in with her.

‘i, uh — sorry,’ you say, feeling like you’re interrupting, but they both just shake their heads, waving off your apology. ‘dr. villaumbrosia sent me to see if you’re okay, and i’m supposed to go talk to her once i know. which, i guess i know now.’ not your best work, and in front of the chief, but oh well.

dr. choi smiles fondly. ‘thank you for telling me. i’ll never let lilith forget it.’ 

dr. superion doesn’t smile, but it seems like she wants to. ‘go ahead, dr. al-najjar. you can tell her that we’re admitting dr. choi to ortho; dr. alvarez will operate tomorrow, once the swelling has gone down.’

‘and tell lilith i love her too.’

‘i — uh—‘

dr. superion laughs. ‘go, dr. al-najjar.’

/

you’ve just finished your report to dr. villaumbrosia — in the middle of a surgery, but it’s clear her shoulders relax immediately, continuing to operate smoothly — when dr. silva flings open the door of the OR.

‘hello ava,’ dr. villaumbrosia says, not even looking up from the stitch she’s putting in. ‘she’s okay.’

dr. silva, breathing so hard her mask is getting sucked into her mouth and nose, doubles over, her hands on her knees. ‘i gotta do more cardio, oh my god,’ he mumbles, then takes a deep breath and stands. ‘you’re sure?’

‘yes,’ dr. villaumbrosia, ‘i had dr. al-najjar make sure personally. he also checked on tai; she’s doing great.’

‘very cute,’ you say and then debate just quitting residency here altogether, but dr. silva smiles at you.

‘thanks man,’ she says. ‘sorry you missed this surgery.’

‘the bowel was perforated,’ dr. villaumbrosia says. ‘it was quite disgusting, to be honest.’

‘well then,’ dr. silva says, ‘hey, you’re welcome! you got to see my adorable kid and my sexy wife. who, as lovely as your company always is, lil, i’m gonna go see now.’

‘she deployed that avalanche airbag, dug three other people out, and did a field chest tube by the time SAR got there.’ 

‘hot.’

‘insane, actually,’ dr. villaumbrosia says. ‘but give her my love.’

/

two days later you’re back on shift — after drinks and truly, genuinely great sex with zaire that still ended up happening despite everything, god bless — and you swing by ortho before you go up to peds. you’re not friends with dr. choi or dr. silva, but you do want to see how things are going anyway. your mom always says it’s better to be kinder than necessary, and you’re starting to believe it.

they’re an adorable family, you think, tai showing dr. choi her lion stuffy and babbling excitedly, sitting on the hospital bed between her legs, turning every now and then toward dr. silva in a chair by her bedside. dr. choi, her arm in a brace and a sling, looks pretty good overall: her eyes seem clear, the bruises along her jaw are already starting to turn green and yellow, a great sign of healing, and the redness on her nose and ears has lessened considerably. 

also, she’s sitting up and talking animatedly, clearly happy with her daughter and her wife there. from her chart — you looked it up in the system before you came, whatever — you’re pretty sure she’s going to get to go home today, which you suspect is what the small duffle bag by dr. silva’s feet is for. 

‘all i’m saying,’ you hear from dr. silva, ’is that your nose could’ve fallen off.’

‘ava,’ dr. choi says, exasperated and laughing.

dr. silva sits back and pouts, exaggerating with crossed arms. 

‘i will be more careful,’ dr. choi concedes, but it doesn’t feel much like a concession the way she smiles at tai and then runs a gentle hand over her wispy hair. emma — who is an incredible gossip but you’re starting to think she also just has a giant crush — had told you and zaire that dr. choi is, like, an experienced outdoors person with certifications in all kinds of different safety courses and activities; you know she and dr. villaumbrosia have done stints with MSF together too. 

‘good,’ dr. silva says. ‘because lord knows i cannot raise tai by myself.’

dr. choi frowns, then offers her good hand to dr. silva, who scoots closer and takes it with a kiss to her scraped knuckles. 

‘plus, while i would deal, obviously, you’d probably be less hot if your nose fell off.’

‘“probably”?’

dr. silva shrugs. ‘i love you.’

‘i love you too.’

‘would you still love me if my nose fell off?’

‘ava.’

/

‘good morning, dr. al-najjar,’ dr. choi says when you knock lightly on the open door of her office. it’s impeccably neat, a few pictures of dr. silva and tai on her desk. she’s wearing the brace on her wrist still but no sling; her bruises and frostbite have faded. in her scrubs and white coat and clogs, a fresh buzzcut and a cup of coffee in her good hand, she looks exactly the surgeon you’ve looked forward to working with. 

‘good morning, dr. choi. welcome back.’

she smiles and closes her office door, starts leading you down the hall. ‘thank you. and, apologizes in advance that you won’t have any surgeries with me for the next two weeks until i’m officially cleared.’ she rolls her eyes. 

‘that’s okay,’ you say. ‘more sleep, honestly.’

‘true. and,’ she says, opening a door to the most incredible, brand new lab you’ve ever seen, ‘i can promise that the research we’ll get to work on will be worth it.’

‘i always thought i would go into trauma,’ you tell her, ‘but i think i just fell in love.’

she grins. ‘the heart wants what it wants.’

you pause a moment but then you can’t help yourself: you laugh.

‘in that case,’ she says, ‘let me show you around, and let’s get to work.’

[rosyandraw]

Hey Holly, going anon because I’m scared this is a weird ask…

Since you’re so good at writing angst I was wondering if you’ve ever considered writing bdsm gone wrong in any of your stories? Like both characters not really knowing what they’re doing and someone ends up hurt mentally or even physically. Lots of overthinking, misunderstandings, etc. Or maybe you hate that and it’s just too much? Feel free to say if so.

I really do love observant Damen so maybe it’s hard to make it work with Damen/Laurent but I find myself hunting for this trope a lot. Ik there’s not really any bdsm in canon but I think there’s a lot of moments in the trilogy where we could sense Laurent had certain thoughts or fears about sex and didn’t say anything (maybe that’s just my interpretation). Also maybe I relate to wanting to please someone at my own detriment so I wanna read about my fav characters doing it and cry.

I like the angst that it brings and watching it all get pulled slowly back together. I think it just makes the happy ending that much better. And there does HAVE to be a happy ending lol.

I hope this ask makes sense 😅 I guess I’m really just wondering if you like that trope (is that the word for it?) If you’ve ever held yourself back from writing it because you didn’t know how it would be received?

I’m sorry this ask is so long and random lol.

Hey my love, don't apologise, I love this kind of ask, don't be scared, I'm so balls out you can literally ask me anything, I promise my head and real life is weirder haha. There's no such thing as too much here!

And I could talk about BDSM all day long. Especially with Damen/Laurent.

To answer your question bluntly: yes.

Yes, I have considered it. Like a hundred times. BDSM takes place in the mind first and foremost, the sex is a small part of it and for a lot of people not a part of it at all. So BDSM "going wrong" -or safewording out, pushing too far, it not hitting for one or both/all- is kind of inevitable at some point, especially if those involved are misinformed or new to the scene or aren't communicating properly. Plus there are different issues that come with different dynamics. Is it strictly a BDSM relationship? Do they play with other people? Do they have romantic partners? Is it a 24/7 dynamic? If it's monogamous and committed how do they work it into their real life (esp if set in canon)

So yes, big fat yes I love this idea.

I love observant Damen too but I would only write something this intensive for Damen/Laurent so unfortunately if you're thinking of a different pairing I probably won't be writing that lmao

I do think it could work with Damen/Laurent though tbf, i'm thinking about Damen in the baths in book 1 where Laurent manipulates him and he doesn't recognise Laurent isn't flirting (because Laurent did want Damen to think it was sexy but he was also not into it, you know?) That Damen could make some mistakes.

So could a Damen who trusts Laurent to be honest with him... only to be gutted when Laurent wasn't and ended up getting hurt because of it.... you know?

And tbh no matter how observant or in-tune with someone you are shit happens. You can get carried away, Dom-space isn't talked about nearly enough tbh. There's so much I want to write about it, like, weaving in and bastardising my own experiences, to give it a sprinkle of reality haha

But yes I agree about Laurent, pretty sure I wrote a whole lengthy canon-sub-Laurent-meta on here some time ago lmao so I definitely read him that way too and definitely have 10000 thoughts on what Laurent is thinking. I'm not projecting... lmao

But yes, I am a HEA girly, and yes, this does make a lot of sense and it's crazy because I've been thinking about it a lot.

I have NO idea how it would be received, but then I thought ATKH would be badly received and people have been very kind, so I am a terrible judge and I don't let perception stop me from writing what I want to write.

My only thing I keep getting stuck on is canon or modern?

Like, terminology/apparatus/acts and stuff would be so much better in a modern verse but there is something so enticing from a character study POV about canon verse haha

Do you have a preference?

Also thank you for thinking I write angst well, I appreciate it 💕💕

[hxney-lemcn]

Oh god 🥕🐇 anon briefly explain because sometimes I see Reader more as a character than a representation of me. Because I am far from the light of divinity (like most in this world) and I have the reasonable amount of darkness that betrays that, I am 100% convinced that if one day I fall from isekai in loz it will be because Demise's strength brought me and not because of Hylia (Hylia rejects me) lol

But if I confront Dark Link while i playing the hero??? He will not only feel that I am doing this out of obligation or some other reason and not because it is the right thing to do, I'm sure he'll feel my attraction to him or something like that and he be like '????' 😭 Because if he can sense the darkness in people, I imagine what he means by each thing that is out of the ordinary

not my fault that I'm a sinner for him 🫦

—Sincerely, another monster fucker (more fucker than ever)

LMAO

Tbf, the way I write reader is based off myself and I’m lowkey a bleeding heart 😭 a goody two shoes if you will.

Don’t get me wrong, if I ever met dark link I’d be hella attracted too but I’d be so conflicted 😔 idk if that’s good or bad as I can see Dark stepping up to challenge my morals/ethics 💔

When you meet him, maybe you’re more teetering the edge. On one hand this is a guy you’ve crushed on when fictional and now he’s real. On the other, will you really give up your chance to go back home for him?

Yes. The answer is yes. He’s a bit smug that you’re willing to change your goal so easily, probably a bit toxic at first cus I see him more willing to use you for his own good. But over time he starts getting more protective, you get hurt doing something he told you do and he wants to rip the fool apart for daring to touch you. You slowly become a person in his eyes, not just a tool.

He’s a bit of a dick but he gets better…

[alisha-is-sorry-for-the-emperor]

I'll be honest, I don't quite fit in with other emperorfuckers here because a lot of you seem to be trying to excuse it. Which is fine! But I like it as a terrible unfeeling manipulative abomination that maybe has some weaknesses (eg a really fucked-up affection for its thrall Stelmane). I like the horror of this thing that isn't Balduran gliding around with some of his memories and a perhaps-coincidental urge to protect the city at almost any cost (except self-preservation, and honestly I think self preservation is normally a good thing). I like the fact that allying with the Emperor does actually work, but it's almost certainly the morally wrong choice, if only because leaving the Githyanki people in the hands of Vlaakith is evil. That's not actually Emp's fault, tbf, I think betraying it is evil too. But I like that the game forces you to make a choice which genuinely has no no-regrets outcome, if you have any sympathy for the Emperor, as I obviously do. Whenever fiction asks the question "is this a person?" the answer is nearly always "yes" because the other answer is boring and dehumanising (which is a word that would presumably be hugely offensive in Faerun, I just can't think of a better one). But I am interested in the question - what makes a person? The Emperor doesn't have a soul, it may well be continually adjusting its behaviour for maximum emotional impact. How different is that from what people do, though? We calculate how something will be taken before we say or do it. Anyway I am noodling on a little fic about mind flayer Karlach meeting up with Omeluum after the final battle, to discuss matters of transformation.

[deafsignifcantother]

can I ask what's your opinion on hearing writers writing deaf characters? im writing a action movie type fanfiction (a ragtag group of oddly skilled teenagers are put together to save their country... you know that kind) and im thinking of making one of them hard of hearing, if not fully deaf, but i feel like there's a border im crossing?

Oh hello there wth I never got the notification for this omg my bad this answer is so late hello DAMN.

The only thing I can point out particularly that I hate happens when hearing people write deaf characters is the ' ' instead of " " for sign language like oh my goddd.

But anyone can write one yeah , and this sounds pretentious asf my bad but I would say take my works as correct deaf traits rather than other stories ? because other than the ' ' " " thing, some fics with deaf characters are like really funny to read. Not that they're TERRIBLY inaccurate (yk the whole lip reading thing. some deaf people can actually do it really well while others can't), but they can be really goofy. Yeah lip reading, patience, the way that hearing writers will portray a deaf person teaching someone sign language can be really funny

There's no border at all. Just don't be cringe. LOL! Keep it as realistic. Don't shortcut Deaf traits if it's "inconvenient" to your plot. That's what I'll say.

And Deaf vs. HoH in terms of character picking is fine, all rep is rep. ^ ^ ^ honest to god if a deaf person is too hard for you to write i personally think it's 100% fine if you just make them hoh esp if you don't know any deaf people irl. like ong there's nothing wrong with that tbf.

[yanderefarm]

Tbh, always kinda weird to me when girls request things from accounts that are explicitly for boys. Like, I am alwas on a constant search for tasty top male reader accounts so I am well aware of how hard it is to find content, then I see ppl requesting like "What if uwu girl instead?". Not like that specific person was being that way, but like, I always think to myself, what about this post about a man and his wife(who is also a man) made you think of straight ppl?

This feels very rude, I don't mean it rude at the girl anon, she has yet to do anything clearly deserving of rudeness, just something I've seen too many times.

I just wanna be able to shake the little gays in my head around. Tbf, I am panromantic I just always get spooked at the mere implication of a f!reader(probably cuz of dysphoria).

-🪼

nah i totally get it!! yeah I don't want to be rude either. i really don't care what adult follows me.

ive gotten a few asks from people who like obviously didn't really read my rules or understand what my blog was.

there were these asks a while ago and I think i ended up deleting most of them bc I didn't like the vibe. they were all about babies. like baby fever, having babies, etc. and the vibe to me was that they had probably only found my blog through my baby trapping post with the wrong idea about what that post was about and all of these asks were for f!reader.

i answered one and its the one where i confess that i hate the idea of having children and write about how ares would try to murder his kids for the first time dbjsbsj and then after awkwardly finishing it i went back and deleted the rest bc yeah.

nothing against that person!!! just those asks gave me bad vibes.

but like yeah whenever i get the vibe an ask is for f!reader i get a weird vibe. ik all my characters aren't gonna get any f!reader content but there's literally so much out there. if you want more yandere blogs literally just search the tags. i don't know of another specifically yandere blog that is also exclusively male reader.

its actually really funny to me how like a lot of fem reader blogs will also kinda act like they're gender neutral and then you see male reader blogs desperately fighting to be like "MEN ONLY"

ask any of the yandere blogs " would ur characters be ok with a male reader 🥺" and they'll basically be like "oh yeah!! sure!! they love you no matter what gender you are" but in such an afterthought way

THATS NOT MEANT TO BE SHADE I STILL LOVE THEM AND FOLLOW THEM RELIGIOUSLY

its just like to illustrate the point ig?? we are out here fighting for our lives for content so it does always feel weird to have people either assume its f!reader or ask for f!reader. like honey ily let me get u a link to someone else u can ask.

[notthatalex]

I have been thinking about [REDACTED], Sarah Christ, Conspiracy and how it interplays between them.

The consensus of why people believe in conspiracies often boils down to them needing the world to be simpler. To have simple answers to complex problems. On first glance most of them are disgusting complex and contradictory of course, but that is just dress up. The simplicity lies in that there is one "THEM" that is behind it all. One convenient bad group that does evil because they are evil and you can blame for everything.

[REDACTED] obviously falls under that, he is a "conspiracy theorist, the caricature" the character.

But Sarah operates on a very similar mindset sometimes. It is just much more contained and doesn't bleed into other parts of the world for her. And yeah I am talking about the Creekside Killer. He is everyone and everything she needs him to be. A convenient bad guy that does all evil because he is evil and you can blame. So she has a tangible enemy and doesn't have to jump into the complexities. She clearly has a brain that lends into self to conspiracy. Even her motivations and drive is similar. "Pretty women with their hair down are getting killed left and right by "THEM" and of i can just get rid of "THEM" it will all be fixed." THEM in her case is literally just one guy but of you swap it out with the THEM conspiracy theorists talk about it is the same. Also the "pretty women with their hair down" can be replaced with any group the particular conspiracy theorists sees as vulnerable victims. A lot of the time in reality it is ofcourse children and and sex crimes.

The only important point is that they are just stand ins, that isn't really about helping those groups. Even when they tell themselves (and they have to tell themselves) they are. They are just tropes in their story to justify their actions. And this is exactly the case for Sarah. Chasing this one killer, that every information we are getting on him is widely contradictory, is not helping the group she is claiming to do all of what she does for.

I think the biggest reasons she is way more grounded in reality than [REDACTED] is her social political statues. On top of also being more mentally stable (low bar tbf, bc she is very fucked up)

She is an cop. And that fact hurts and helps her at the same time. On one hand, being an American cop makes you actually more likely to sink into right-wing conspiracy theories (the right wing is kinda redundant). On the other hand, she is also a woman and an Ex-Detective, which probably causes some interplay there. I think she is disillusioned with the system while still clinging to some parts of it for stability. Which you would think would actually push her more into conspiracies, but I think it actually has the opposite effect. Most conspiracy theorists love the cops and military while distrusting the government and especially central agencies. It's contradictory, but what do you want from conspiracy? It has to be.

A couple of right (wrong) expirences, and she could fully lose herself in conspiracy, too.

She is the archetype of Cop, that has a drinking/smoking problem, with a bit of a power fantasy that's divorced and not allowed to see their kid anymore. She is a women on top of that, and only that identity change influences her character way more than it may seems. And like it should. Being a women, being in that social political class shapes you A LOT. Even when you have all these other forces pulling you in other directions.

On top of that I also think having a relationship with [REDACTED] keeps her from falling deeper. It may seem like the opposite should be the fact, but I think seeing the other side so intimately... repels you from it. She knows what the end point of ot all looks like, and it's not pretty. If she was blind to it the chances of falling deeper would be more likely for her.

Feel free to disagree. Would love to hear. If anyone even read this.

[artficlly]

Hey Lovely 💞,

I wanted to send this as soon as I read the newest chapter of Lessons in Lovemaking but neither found the right words (I'm quite obviously not a writer) nor time to do so, but well here we are so bare with me while I try to put my adoration for you into words. (I might repeat myself a bit, but it doesn't hurt to sing your praises twice as you deserve it).

Regarding Lessons in Lovemaking as a whole:

It's a story that really stays with you and haunts your thoughts for the next few days while you're just doing the dishes or having the water run down your back while in the shower. I feel like it rewired my brain in a sense (the way good books do) cause I keep thinking about Reader and Bucky and all that's going on with them and their pasts and how they each deal with their backstories.

And your use of the widows concept and the Red Room is so well done and so believable and haunting at the same time. I, too, wish the Red Room would have been explored more within the films and the consequences it had on these girls. Also, I admire the social commentary you manage to weave into your writings in such an effortless yet meaningful way.

I live for the angst you're including and I understand what you mean with that this website loves smut but this story is a lot more than sex scenes and even its sexual content does feel very intimate in a way that I even forget it's smut sometimes because its also about them and their individual journey and the smut drives the story instead of just being smut (which don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with that either it's just not what the essence of Lessons in Lovemaking is to me).

In conclusion:

I actually love the whole story so much I often gotta take breaks while reading one chapter to gather my thoughts and emotions (plus I read the chapters in the dark between 3 and 4am for it to just be me, the story and the possibility to fully indulge in the emotions and angst you make me feel so deeply).

Lessons in Lovemaking makes me want to print out the whole story once it's finished and bind it in beautiful cloth binding with gold foiling on the cover to put it on my bookshelf and keep it safe and remembered.

Additionally, I wanna talk about Close Quarters:

It's also so beautifully written (tbf all of your works are) and feels like reading an actual fantasy book due to your world building and way of explaining without ever stating facts too bluntly and obviously but instead including necessary information in snippets of actions and conversations.

Oh and I haven't gotten around to reading your newest piece yet but I'm so looking forward to it (on the to-do-list for tonights 3am insomnia, but the summary already sounds so good).

Also:

I thoroughly enjoy reading all your answers to asks and am actually kinda interested in your rant on current YA novels.

Hope you're feeling better again, and congrats on your follower milestone. You deserve it🥰

- 🩵 anon (again)

hello!! oh my gosh a whole essay in my inbox hehe <3 you're so sweet and kind. you know how people are like foaming at the mouth when their favourite fic is updated?? that is me but when people send fun stuff to my inbox hehe

firstly tysmm for all these kind words!! i do feel like I've been going round in circles in what i reply to these inbox essays so i won't go too into depth.

i'll talk about two things in regards to lessons in lovemaking, because i'm sure everyone is bored to fucking death hearing my authors note comments about this series.

1. thank you! there is some stuff i WISH i could talk about but i feel it might enter spoiler territory.

2. i'm so glad you think that about the smut!! i try to make it?? wholesome?? idk. equal parts horny as well. this is going to sound dumb but i don't enjoy writing smut unless there's a build up. i need reason, tension. i want it to feel like a reward for getting through my thousands of words of fucking yapping. i don't think i can be that girl who writes only writes smut and i'm sorrryyy because i know the tumblr lurkers love it but i wouldn't enjoy it. there are plenty of way more talented smut writers who will write that for you. i'm not that girl i'm sorry </3 i kind of have this fear that once LiL is over no one will read my work. i have these projects coming up that are longer series which are SLOW BURN. i don't know... i just sometimes like this romantic idea of smut having a reason. like each smut section is catered to those characters and their world rather than just *and they fuck*. I've been guilty of trying to do that in the past to keep with the popular trends but it just makes me unhappy and not like my work. the stuff I've been putting out recently where i really spend time thinking about the characters, dynamics, worlds has been so much fun. i was genuinely grinning and crying and laughing writing 'this is (not) fine'. same with 'the art of pretending'. so yeah, i appreciate it. my smut is not always gonna be some hot fantasy </3

also if u print it out and bind it send a pic. u won't LMAO. i jest, i used to uhhh bind books for my art degree. gotta judge ur technique hehe.

anway CLOSE QUARTERS!!

okay so i know like 5 people read that fic but i am going to write more parts. i don't care. i want to do it. i have so many ideas i am foaming at the mouth like a rabid animal. if anyone who follows me is reading this and hasn't read close quarters... uhhh go give it a read and then let me know that now 6 people have read that fic LMAO

i love world building! i love it i love it i love it!!! i'm going to write so many au fics none of you asked for!!!

anyway tysmmmm hehe <3 and thanks for letting my ramble per usual. you're probably SICK of me. also in regards to the YA rant, i wrote it but i got to nervous to post in case people hated me sorry </3

thank u again. i have a 2k event/celebration coming any day now hehe :)

[saurons-pr-department]

Hey anon, I have screen-shotted your ask because I am going to try stay out of tag/term searches here, which in an of itself probably answers your question XD

So! Thoughts as they occur to me!

I did give the whole first season a watch. Partly out of giving it a chance, partly out of morbid curiosity, like when you can't look away from something awful happening in front of you even when you really want to close your eyes.

What I think is interesting actually, is that my main issues with the show have somewhat changed since I initially watched it. While watching it my only thoughts were "wrong, wrong, that never happened, wrong, wrong, wrong, look how they massacred my boy (gn), wrong!" And while those thoughts themselves haven't changed my main issues have changed to focus more on how it's such a badly structured story (the timelines feel both stretched and compressed in a way that doesn't add anything to the stories being told) and how I don't think it knows yet what it wants to be (it's Tolkien, but it's its own thing, but it's a 'prequel' in the very modern franchise sense of the word to the PJ films, but it's also not those films).

For the structure, I personally wouldn't have put two major stories into one show. I don't think there's the time for that. Both the Akallabêth and the creation of the rings exist as very sketchy narratives that cover extremely long timeframes. Original content was always going to be needed to fill the gaps. But by putting both tales into the one show, I feel they've doubled the amount of gap filling needed while halving the amount of screentime they have for it because there's now twice the amount of canon to cover (tbf, they don't seem to want canon so maybe that's not an issue for them...). To force them to run simultanously and then add original content that isn't just filling the gaps but appears to be completely original, you end up with a story that is both too empty and too full. Nothing is getting the time it deserves. Big moments feel undeserved or rushed. It takes the wind out of its own sails. (and that's without mentioning that these stories running alongside eachother just throws timelines and motivations out of whack, but I refuse to get us all bogged down in the minutiae of my grumblings!)

It's a pity, the story of the fall of Númenor and the creation of the rings have such good parallels, but that would require them to focus on things like religion and politics etc and they seem to be more interested in mystery boxes, so... oh well?

In regards the show's identity crisis, to be fair to them, that's really not that unusual in first seasons. They're not special XD Let's face it, how often have we all been recommended something that came with the caveat 'you need to get through the first few episodes/first season before it gets good and finds its feet'? Especially fantasy and sci-fi that has to establish facts about the world as well as characters in a way a drama set in the real world doesn't. I wouldn't be shocked to learn that the show hits its stride a bit better in later seasons.

However, my current biggest gripe with the show is what I'm seeing in the writers' attitude to storytelling. I can't stand it. The actor for a certain someone whose name begins with H didn't know who his character really was until after shooting the first few episodes. There's the back and forth of is it H or the guy who fell from the sky who'll turn out to be the villain. Sky man even gets some stalkers whose only purpose was to add confusion to this situation and then be immediately killed, no further context. One of the writers (I don't remember who) when asked about deviations from canon said something to the effect of 'we don't want book fans to be episodes ahead'. It's the modern Marvel school of story-telling. It's mystery boxes and twists and fears of spoilers and people knowing what's coming next. That's not how you tell a story. You need more substance than that. Big moments are only interesting if you've earned them with a well crafted lead up. And what's the point of a big moment if it adds nothing to the story in the first place. They had one of fantasy's most iconic villains, why was there a secret? The Second Age is where he's cracking out his most rediculous long cons. The man's twirling his mustache while kicking up his feet and writing 'evil' into every date in his diary for at least a millenium, what does a secret identity add to this story really?

Don't worry, I will move swiftly on from the topic of my boy who is not really my boy before we get in too deep... No one needs to hear that... But do you get my point? Big reveal. No substance.

To add a note of positivity, I actually really like Sky man's music. It's genuinely a really nice piece of music. I also liked that they wanted to add one of the 'original' orcs, that's a cool concept!

Oh! And whoever okayed those American 'stage-Irish' accents needs to be fired into the sun :D

[sylvctica]

Author Portrait

get to know the author behind the blog! repost, do not reblog.

Basics Name/nickname: Aid Age: 26 Pronouns: she/her Years of writing: 10+

Reflection I don't quite remember when I started RPing, but I know I started on devART yearsssss ago, cringe ass days (only cause wow my writing sucked LOL). At some point I ended up migrating to tumblr in the 2012 ... 2013? Era??? And I've been here ever since LOL.

Do you have any writing routines? uhhh massive hiatus??/ LOL no but on serious note it usually is just inspiration striking or making time for it; if I end up making time for it, I tend to play brown noise in the BG while I write (or rain sounds) so i can focus. if i get lost in the sauce i just kinda. Do it.

What's your favorite part about writing? Character development!!!!!! My primary OCs I've had over the years have developed primarily through tumblr/writing/rp partners; Sylvie is one example, then my previous booboo which was Hideki, then my Bleach OC I brought over when I came onto tumblr

Three things you like about your writing:

I second Ash on dialogue cause Sylvie is fucking chatty as hell, so a lot of the personality comes out through how they talk + secondary gestures

I like my voice!! I usually try to write how I think + speak, and I like how it comes out in my writing

I'd like to think it's digestible writing? <:)

A question for the next person! Write a question for the next person to answer. Once you've answered it, leave a new question for someone else to answer. From Ash: Is there a character from media you disliked that you then grow to really like because of a specific mun's portrayal?

Um, I can't say I have any characters I've disliked in particular...? At least not for Genshin, for Bleach I can definitely say ... I didn't dislike anyone there in particular (not counting minor characters that just left weird tastes in my mouth), but I've warmed up a lot to some characters due to writers there.

Especially since a lot of them put a lot of love and thought into their portrayals; Kaname Tousen has a special place in my heart due to a writer in the Bleach RPC that passed years ago due to health circumstances. I didn't dislike Tousen in any way tbf, but she wrote him (alongside the Starrk she had a ship with) in such a way with heart and love that I grew to love him and ache for him.

Same case with Childe—I never disliked him don't get me wrong, I thought he was cool as heck from the beginning, but it's the RPC writers that I associate with him that make me point and remember the portrayals I've seen; I often warm up to characters due to the writers.

My question for you: Is there something you'd like to tell to your past self when you first started writing / getting into roleplaying?

Tagged by: @melodicbreeze

Tagging: you!!!! >:)

[bridgyrose]

Prompt: While Rhodes cannot legally (and he's too much of a stubborn ass to break the law) help Cinder out of her situation, he does know someone who can help.

(tbf, its less that Rhodes is a stubborn ass and definitely more lawful good. He'll uphold the law no matter how wrong it is but will still try to help where he can. That said, I think I have some fun plans for this)

Rhodes sighed as he watched Cinder train, his heart breaking for a moment when he realized he was going to be leaving her again for longer than he really wanted to. Not like he had much of a choice, staying at the hotel to train her was expensive, and he wasnt one to break the law. Taking her away would be the best course of action, but legally, it was going to be a years-long process, taking her away now with him would be kidnapping if he didnt get permission from the madame, not that she’d approve of him training her, and even if he could get everything taken care of, he still didnt have anywhere he could raise her. 

“What now, Rhodes?” Cinder asked between pants. 

“That’s enough for tonight, you need to rest and I’m leaving in the morning.” 

“Leaving where?” 

“I took a mission out in Mistral,” Rhodes answered as he finished packing up his things. “I’ll be out for two weeks. Its a bit longer than expected, but I’m sure you’ll be fine in the meantime.” 

Cinder rolled her eyes and put her swords away. “Cant you stay here?” 

“I’d love to, but living out of hotels is a bit expensive. Even more so in Atlas.” 

“Then maybe you’ll be able to come back early.” 

Rhodes nodded and gave her a bit of a smile. “I’ll try to be back as soon as I can. But, this one might be a bit longer than expected. A few bandits to take care of, but I’ll make sure I get back with something for you.” 

“You promise?” 

“Promise.” 

“Thank you!” 

Rhodes was taken back a bit as Cinder hugged him, but hugged her back. Once she left, he sighed and picked up his things to make his way out to a tavern in Mantle before his mission to meet up with an old friend. He pulled his tight as he made his way to the airship down to Mantle, a bit nervous as he quietly ran through the words he wanted to say. 

Once the airship landed, he made his way into the tavern and sighed as he sat down. “I… I need your help, Qrow.” 

Qrow sat down a whiskey glass and sighed. “You disappear on me for months and now you ask for help?” 

“You know I wouldnt come to you if it wasnt important.” Rhodes pulled out his scroll and showed a picture of Cinder. “This is my student. Her situation isnt… the best right now.” 

“Is that a shock collar?” Qrow asked as he pulled the scroll to him. “What did you get yourself into?” 

“I’m pretty sure her mother put it on her. She works at the Glass Unicorn, and I know her family and the patrons there dont treat her well. I need to get her out of there but-” 

“But you dont break the law, I know. And you think I'm going to?” 

“I know you dont care much about Atlas and have bent the rules before. Maybe there’s something you can do or you can pull some strings with your contacts here.” 

“I cant-” 

“I have to do something for her!” Rhodes said as he slammed his hand against the table. He sat back down and tried to relax. “I’m going to be away for a couple weeks and I need someone to watch out for her. Please, anything you can do to help her until I get back.” 

Qrow sighed and pushed the scroll back as he pulled his own out and started to look through his contacts. “And if I can get her out of there, where is she supposed to go?” 

“You have a couple nieces near her age, you can take her to live with them.” 

“Tai cant take care of another kid. Ever since Raven left and Summer disappeared, he hasnt been the same. Sure, he’s there and taking care of them, but… he’s only a shell of himself.” 

Rhodes looked away for a moment. “I’ll…I’ll find somewhere for her. But I need you to make sure she’s out of there. She’s not safe there and if they find out that I’ve given her weapons of her own to train with, I’m sure they’ll hurt her.” 

“I’ll try to figure something out,” Qrow said with a sigh as he got up. “I cant promise anything, but I’ll see what I can do to help. I might know someone who can get some paperwork processed for you a bit quicker but I cant promise anything.” 

“Thank you.” Rhodes got up and smiled as he put down a few lien onto the table. “Next few drinks are on me. As a thank you.” 

Qrow pulled the lien over to him and nodded. “I’ll let you know if anything happens.”

[caernua]

PLEASE drop the Arcana opinions

WHY THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME ANON i will drop some of my hot takes

under the cut bc i went a lil crazy and this is very long (sorry)

i don't really like how much they sanitized the game, i feel like they just made an effort to make everyone much much nicer and agreeable than they initially were especially in the prologue, which is okay (don't get me wrong we love positivity and growth), but at the same time there were moments where i felt like. it was a lil much and a little juvenile. like... it's okay for the main cast to have dislikes between eachother and i was kinda feeling like they eliminated that at one point? it was okay for asra and julian to be bitter, it was okay for nadia to be more hard-hearted and commanding. it was okay for lucio to be liked by his people and not the butt of every joke, it got to a point where he's not believable as a villain or a threat (but tbf muriel's route kinda fixed that) and i definitely think they did that bc of the backlash. a lot of people were saying asra is shady and toxic to julian and nadia is too commanding but ... so what? they looked sexie while doing it so what's the problem??? oh and come to think of it the magic system kinda played into that? i'm not a huge fan of the magic system in the arcana it's very wishy washy and oh everyone can do magic now actually it's within ✨all of us✨. i think it's just not well done

i actually think the earlier chapters and the prologue are overall much better than the last few ones for the main 3 and that includes the cgs. the first few cgs are so beautiful??? the later ones look so weird and uncanny to me?????? i know they had different artists on the team obviously and i think the earlier cgs i'm referring to were moreso done by dana rune and veronica liwski (who by the way deleted their artstation. wild. this is what i mean when i say this is a WASTELAND) and it's a shame how little that is out of the full no. of cgs. dana rune the way you draw asra aaaaaaaaa

i think the way they went about the endings is so, so CLEVER. the choices you have to make are quite subtle, i remember we were wracking our brains as the chapters were coming out to discover what exactly were the good/bad choices and what they could lead to. i like that some of those choices are so subtle that they're pretty much impossible to catch. (for instance. in lucio's first chapter when he tells you to hurry up with the spell you can reply with 'shush/be patient.' those answers are almost the same but they lead to two different endings!!! wild!!) and i think there's a very good balance between 'hard to catch' and 'pretty obvious' choices! and the fact that they went about creating bittersweet endings rather than 'bad' endings is wonderful. i think it's ten times more impactful to have an ending where yes, you are with you love interest and all is well, but not quite. that gnawing feeling of 'what did i do wrong?' sticks to you and urges you to analyze the main characters and it's such good characterization!! i just adore how they went about the endings, it's not too obvious, not too subtle, not too heartbreaking, not too drastic, it's just RIGHT!

i'm really gonna try not to make this next one a novel but asra's route is one of the most beautifully told, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing, utterly devastasting love stories i came across in any media ever. i'm moreso referring to the set-up itself so the prologue + the earlier chapters + everything that happened beforehand. i think his route is underrated just in the sense that. the prologue itself is comically superior when it comes to asra's route, and yea that's bc he's the only one the mc has a preestablished relationship with. but UGH! the fountain scene is probably my fave scene in the game, i love how they mirrored it later on with the roles reversed, it was PERFECTION. they said 'let's take idiots in love' but make it actually make sense and a tragedy. and let's make it the most devastating reason we can think of. it's amazing. the pining, the heartache, the suffering. the mystery being revealed to you little by little (because otherwise the mc goes catatonic, so asra has to be patient, patient, patient) and being flooded by the questions of what were they like before all this?? so interesting to think about. i think it's very important in games like these to stimulate the player into trying to think of a backstory and let their creative juices flow and asra's route does that so well! paradoxically it's also true that they take some of your freedom away as a player because you do find out that there's a bit of history there whatever route you are playing but. the fact that it hardly matters bc he loves mc so much that he would never take their freedom away is amazing. just realizing the amount of love he has for mc, the restraint he has had all those years and how painful it must have been, holy shit. GUT-WRENCHING!! this is why everytime i play another route the second asra shows up and says something even remotely tied to the past i gotta close that route and go back to him kfdhgkjfhdg. this quote in lucio's route is particularly making me scream shit vomit: 'he looked like my first memories of him. kind, but weary, and so very sad.' bitch what the FUUUUUCK

and just. the vibes and the writing of this route overall hoooo bitch. 'why must he go where i can't follow?' 'do i remember? how could i ever forget? i love him, i have to tell him, even if it kills me'. when they kiss for the first time and asra doesn't even dare move because he has held back for so long, and he's physically shaking (bitch me too the fuck). 'i feel it radiating off of him. i want you. i need you. i miss you so much' that insane orpheus and eurydice parallel in the early chapters which also serves as foreshadowing!!! 'i dug until my fingers bled'. 'i try to stay away from you but my heart keeps pulling me back' THE WHOLE DREAMS AS A VESSEL BETWEEN LOVERS TROPE (this shit kills me personally everytime) 'everyday my love for you grows brighter and brighter until it consumes me'. just. this idea of 'a thousand life-altering things happened to part us, but even when i have no idea who you are, i will sooner or later fall in love with you, simply because you are you and i am me and it's bound to be like this, you are my home and i am yours'. INJECT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 💉💉💉 I PLAYED THIS GAME WHEN I WAS 19, NOW I'M ALMOST 25 AND I'M STILL READING HIS ROUTE CRYING SHITTING THROWING UP AND KICKING MY LEGS IN THE AIR. i'll be a senile 90 year old lady in the old folks' home playing this stupid mobile game on my home crying and thinking 'damn bitch i need to get myself a gemini like that what the fuck'

not that it's a hot take but dorian sucks ass