#and that obviously doesn't work with the whole. thing. in the manga. whats it called. world building. how the 'magic' works. whatever

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episodes 21-26)

Episode 21 - Igol

This is a big episode because this is where we get the "Adamai knows stasis magic" lore drop that is never elaborated on, or mentioned altogether.

Episode 22 - Rubilax

Someday, someone will complete a translation of the Dofus manga in russian or english and I'll finally learn what's the deal with this man and why he died and got better and how crazy his doomed yaoi with his dead dragon husband gets.

Heartbreakingly, this day is not yet here.

[Kerubim and Goultard crying together over a drink, begin talking at the same time] I miss my dead wife, Goulatrd/Kerubim. I miss her/him a lot.

Big lore: Sleep masks exist in this universe.

Episode 23 - The Quest for the Dofus

He'll get it eventually. I did.

Episode 24 - Reunion

I love their family so much, I wish they could be happy. But every time something changes, it's far too late... It is tragically realistic, I suppose.

I don't know why, but this is such a pretty frame... The soft morning light, the dim room, the plants the glowing mushrooms...

Also, rare moment to take in what the guest rooms look like at the Sadida castle!

This episode (and at least one past episode) has quite a bit of ciphered text that I haven't been translating because I'm evil. Sorry. It's not the same script as the texts in Aux Tresors, despite the similarities, so you'll have to resort to google, or to decoding it yourself. You could start with the fact that this presumably says "Arbe de vie"

Episode 25 - I Am A Legend

Stasis mention 🔥🔥🔥

This whole scene always makes me tear up. I am actually insane and crazed every time I rewatch the last two episodes.

Your insane Joris trivia of the day is that this scene was changed between various airings/versions of Wakfu. For some mysterious reason. Here's a comparison:

I prefer the old version because.... [blushes] [kicks legs] [twiddles with my hair] HES SO PRETTY—- But also besides me being insane and in love with him, it just seems to have better composition and flow, imo.

My theories for why he was late:

He was sent to get reinforcements from other countries, or call for help. Though it is unlikely that many other kingdoms responded, given how little people care about Sadida (the most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He went together with the army of Sadida and the king to fight the war and ran all the way here using his insane speed (the second most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He overslept

He got lost

He was busy, man...

He was writing a letter to Keke and Atch about how he beat the shit out of some sadida guards and two girls clapped and cheered and lost track of time.

This exchange has always been so funny to me for some reason.

"What is the situation" He says,, while a giant mecha is about to kill what likely amounts to one-twelfth of the world's population.

I have talked about it a lot, but I am so deeply unwell about how cold he is. A girl lost her lover and is crying inconsolably, and he's not really paying that attention. One twelfth of the world population is about to die, and he won't show an ounce of discomfort or horror or grief.

Obviously he doesn't like it, but showing any weakness is out of the question.

More people have died from Ogrest, and she's like, the 60th girl on a battlefield on his memory to be crying after losing someone.

There are no unsolvable issues in this world.

I need to study him like a bug.

Episode 26 - Mount Zinit

Standing so prettily...

I think one of Joris's core "insanity and depression prevention" life philosophies is that, if he is not present at a battle, and can not physically be present, then he's not to blame for any horrible thing that happens.

I think this philosophy works almost never to quell his feelings of unease, and right now he is calculating 132924 ways he could have gotten here faster and just how much it would fix things.

(guy who runs a blog about pointing out obvious things Joris does voice) There's a very subtle expression change here. He starts looking intently as Amalia proposes going to help Yugo and Adamai. He was going to do this. However, the second he hears her yell "no", his expression changes once more.

We don't see whether he rushes to aid Eva in any way after she collapses from grief, but I will be honest — he would never do that.

Even if he has a pre-established good relationship with her. He just can't do that. He probably stands there awkwardly, in that same exact place, and feels very bad the entire time — because he can neither comfort Eva (they're practically strangers, he hesitated far too long, he'll make things worse—), nor go help Yugo (he can't just leave Eva and Ruel alone... What if more enemies appear? Or what if they think he abandoned them amidst grief? And would he even be useful?)

I think standing next to inconsolable people is Joris's personal hell.

I am insane.

I think one of the reasons Wakfu season 1 is so memorable, and so effective, is that there is no glorious pay off.

Yugo has a heroic moment of friendship overpowering everything — and then, after a second of being scared, Nox overtakes him. Nox wins. And that win is a mere 20 minutes. And for what? Pinpin is still dead. Everyone he killed is still dead.

Yugo doesn't get a glorious win, or his friend back. There is no epic swell of music. Just something quiet, foreboding, and truly meaningless.

OMG HI.

Your daily reminder that canonically, Eva is an amazing artist.

💀

Once again, Sadida Kingdom and Bonta have a very good relationship. Besties who hoard magical nukes together stay together.

[zombie-bait]

Omg i just realized I have something tiny to add to the whole James Somerton debacle. I'm currently watching the hbombguy vid (as you do when procrastinating assignments) and I remembered something that stood out to me in James' old videos.

So I used to be a fan of his stuff. I am also a fan of Hannibal and IWTV. He made a video covering both so naturally I was very hyped. It was called 'The Gay Appeal of Toxic Love.' The vid itself was fine (I don't remember having any super strong opinions of it besides being excited to hear ppl mention Interview cuz I had recently become obsessed) but one thing did stand out to me. In the IWTV section he mentions Nicki and, naturally, his death:

"After becoming a vampire, Nicky becomes nearly catatonic, and eventually slips away from Lestat entirely. And after centuries of dealing with depression and severe mental illness, Nicky kills himself."

(sourced from this transcript: https://github.com/TerraJRiley/James_Somerton_Transcripts/blob/main/Transcripts/The%20Gay%20Appeal%20of%20Toxic%20Love.txt)

To anyone who's read TVL, I don't think I need to explain that Nicki had not, in fact, been around for centuries. "Nicki had lived to be 30" has been rattling around in my head since I first read it.

And like, obviously I don't expect every youtube essayist to read several long-ish novels to have a full grasp of the series' deep lore, especially when the focus was largely on IWTV and Loustat rather than the entire Vampire Chronicles. Still, it makes you wonder a bit about the quality of the research being done here. You can find the proper info in like, 5 seconds by just going on the fan wiki so I'm not sure what his sources were. And that's the issue at hand, isn't it?

At the time I felt a tiny bit smug recognizing the error but in light of everything that's been revealed, it's kind of telling. I'm not saying this part was plagiarized (I haven't found anything but others on reddit have found issues with different sections of the same video) but rereading the transcript it comes off as someone who clearly doesn't know much about Interview.... It feels like he's reading through a loose summary of plot points rather than analyzing a piece of media that actually means anything to him. It's very much Interview for people who don't know Interview which, one could argue is fair. Especially beyond book one, VC is a niche series and a lot of elements that are important to certain characters or plot lines cannot be summarized quickly for an audience unfamiliar with it. A good writer, who's done a lot of research about the specific topic they have chosen to make a video on, would be able to balance this. There is a LOT to analyze about queerness in VC and its a shame to see one of the more popular queer media channels half-assing it just to churn out videos heavily made up of other people's work. In retrospect he had several videos like that, where he would discuss things like manga/manhua communities while clearly having little knowledge on the nuance of those subjects. He was an outsider who presented himself with a strange amount of authority.

This was content created with the sole intention of propping up queer stories and history, yet it's built off stolen work from queer authors and doesn't actually care that much about exploring the communities it features. Vids like the IWTV one weren't really fact checked because it's only people like me who would might give a shit or even notice anything is off in the first place. There's a bit of a similar vibe in some of his other vids where he undermines the experiences of queer women because he clearly has not taken the time to learn about the nuances of representing queer women in media. These are things that irritated me when I first started to notice them but I put those concerns in the back of my mind because I cared about the topics he was covering and was excited to see these discussions becoming more mainstream.

The revelations of this evening have been disappointing to say the least.

(also for the record I know he made other more recent vids about IWTV but I haven't seen those and even if his account was still up I don't think I would lol

BUT

I did look at the transcript for his 'Vampires and the Gays Who Love Them' video (found from the same link I included above) and this quote about the IWTV AMC show is sending me: "Daniel has never grappled with the complexities of being gay"

Shoutout to straight, uncomplicated icon Daniel Molloy. Devil's Minion was a mass hallucination, spread the word)

[shinmelodia]

Love & Process: blue (2002)

Hello to everyone reading, and welcome to a highly belated attempt to squeeze some of my thoughts and emotions through some semblance of a creative process and onto a page. Today, I want to introduce this blog by talking about a lovely film, blue (2002), directed by Hiroshi Ando and based on a manga by Kiriko Nananan.

Since I'm still somewhat new at diving into live action film, especially, like, uh, Japanese indie film, its helping to start with the yuri genre. Because like practically any other woman on this site, I quite enjoy lesbians. blue's manga original offers something of an alternative to the yuri norm, though, and the film follows suit. Both are definitely examples of the Japanese filmmaking trend I've heard of called "mumblecore," (or maybe mumble-komi for the manga equivalent) that most people know through the likes of Inio Asano's early work. Like Solanin or Girl on the Shore, blue is shoegazey, quiet, and contemplative, adorned with moments of subtle physical intimacy, layered emotion, and stunningly beautiful compositions of daily life.

My metric for these kinds of slow mood pieces, which I've previously tended to watch at random whenever the mood struck me, is that if my barely-medicated ADHD brain can even finish them, there's clearly something special going on. blue passed with flying colors; yeah, ok, it took two sittings, but I spent all of both enraptured, immersed, and invested in the mono no aware of silent, fragile love and messy asymmetry that formed this movie's emotional palette. blue is about love, of course, but its also about process and expression, both emotional and creative, and how processing things, artistically, verbally, non-verbally--is often required of real, human love.

In being about this, I think it did things for me that a lot of yuri often doesn't and gently hit me in a place that I really needed to be hit. So, let me get into it. This is going to be...very personal, and also obviously spoil the details of the film, if you care about that, although I'm sure there will be plenty of depth left in the text that I leave untouched. Whether you read it or not, I'll be happy I made it. Oh, and sorry if I come off as really New for being so struck by themes and aesthetics that are probably sort of standard for this type of film. I can't help what I feel like writing about, though.

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Kirishima Kayako lives in a small town by the sea, one much like dozens of other anonymous, disaster-prone exurban towns in Japan at the turn of the millennium. She rides the bus to her girls' high school every day, where she eats lunch with her friends and tries her best to learn something in class. Really, though, she's aimless, quiet, lonely, and introspective. She's trying, but its rare for others to be able to tell. She's also in love with her classmate, Endou Masami. When she confesses at the end of the first act, on a windy beach against the vastness of the ocean, Endou responds that she's glad, and the two become our lesbians for the movie. Kayako falls to her knees and cries in relief. Masami is different from the others--she sees how hard Kayako tried. Does that mean she loves her back, though?

Endou Masami has cool passions and interests; she collects American CDs, which she expertly critiques and describes while lending to friends. The mere view of her vibing to her American alt-rock while smoking a cigarette in front of her apartment window is album-cover worthy in itself. Kayako feels the same way: one of the most intimately gay scenes of the pre-confession portion of the film is when Masami lights a cigarette and asks if Kayako is shocked. The quiet girl declares without hesitation, "No, I'm admiring the way you lit the match."

The whole early film is such a delectable, lonely vibe. The slowly intertwining couple's solidifying dynamic is the kind that forms between an emotionally complex introvert and the perhaps even more unknowable yet somehow more confident object of their affection. The two are classmates, (there's no classic yuri kouhais and senpais here) but for the early part of the film we are seeing things from Kayako's perspective and Masami seems unmistakably older in spirit. There's something about the dense emotions conveyed in her gazes at her new girlfriend, the almost world-weary tinge of recklessness in her distant grins. She talks about music Kayako's never heard of and lends out books with Romantic-era paintings that she has well-formed thoughts on. Kayako even openly admits that if she could, she would want to be Masami.

I think we've all loved a girl like that.

It's a pretty typical experience in middle school or high school, for really anyone lonely who loves women, to be drawn to these sorts of sad, beautiful, oh-so-seemingly-complex femmes. I guess straight men have a similar thing going on with the whole Manic Pixie Dream Girl archetype, but for us women (or, women-to-be, at the time, I guess), the phenomenon of these people to us often involves a sort of existential jealousy. I'm not sure what is so alluring to other people about the sense that the object of their love has Something Going On that they are working through, or a vast and complicated life beyond the scope of one's understanding, but it me it always felt like something I was missing out on for myself. Obviously, a lot of their experiences and interests must be interesting and fun and super cool, you think, but even what pain you think they convey must be somehow more edifying than yours.

For me, the edifying aspect was the mere fact of femininity itself. The idea of a girl who has deep and Real emotions, who feels Real love and Real sadness and can actually express that in how she looks, beautiful and imperfect, always threw into stark contrast my own inability to express myself comparably. I was depressed, I was growing up, and I felt things, too, but, as someone who everyone thought was a straight boy and who was too scared to admit to being otherwise, I lacked that sort of beauty, that means of expressing what was inside me through fashion, makeup, book or music knowledge or taste. Or at least I thought I did. Thus, my own emotions must have also meant less. So, I ignored them and belittled them, and entire years passed before I processed a thing correctly. I always wanted to be some other girl. That was the only thing that would fix me.

I assume that the teen (and, uh, sometimes beyond) existential pining experienced by some other people in real life usually lacks the fun bonus that mine had of a screaming void where my femininity should have been, but I'm not sure how much this actually matters to the crux of the kind of experience I'm talking about. That some kind of void is there is all that matters, really, and its there for Kayako in her relationship with Masami at the beginning of the film. She has nothing, Masami is everything, and just being close to her is enough, for now. Just being noticed, just sharing something with her, is all Kayako feels like she can ask for.

Of course, this incomplete way of seeing love can't last, which brings us to the next part of the film, which starts when the two are hanging out and Masami reveals through a guarded, distant grin that she had an abortion a while ago. This isn't something that shocks Kayako or is really meant to shock the audience, and it isn't the big moment where she forced to reconsider her feelings. Rather, she asks how it went, and Masami responds honestly. She mentions she felt horrible the next day and had to be picked up by ambulance from the nurse's office, prompting Kayako to recall silently what to us was the film's first scene, a view from her window during class of an anonymous ambulance, sirens turned off, discreetly rescuing a student.

That she had this ambiguously traumatic, and at least unpleasant and potentially taboo experience is something that could have made Masami feel even older to Kayako, her pain even more distant and obscure. It certainly already is a way that Masami herself feels distant from others. Yet, by considering her own special, observant view of the ambulance back when it happened, it becomes one that Kayako can in some small way assertively share with her. Rather than continuing to put her lover's experiences on a pedestal, Kayako in this scene makes a silent decision to turn a blossoming mutual acceptance simply that they happened into a moment of true intimacy between the two, a sleepover punctuated by smirking kisses and satisfied cuddles initiated by each of them for the other. Despite her remarks that Kayako is weird for unhesitatingly wanting to stay with her, its an intimacy that Masami is happy to accept. This is all an important turning point in Kayako's development because she begins to choose insight, closeness, and assertion over the distant admiration that trapped her earlier.

As we go on, we'll start seeing how blue's gentle impact comes from the way it doesn't glorify or sugarcoat that earlier kind of unhealthy and immature dynamic. Instead it subverts it by giving Masami depth and Kayako agency, before reaching an endpoint that reflects on how the dehumanization of that kind of depressed, pining relationship can be overcome. In that sense, blue is a yuri romance mostly about the couple coming to accept their own and each other's humanity and capacity for expression. Like any good mumble movie, its full of long silences and almost unrealistically hesitant dialog, and doesn't give any explicit internal monologues like a lot of manga do. The world of this movie is one where expression is an uphill battle, something that has to be worked towards and struggled through. It's the world that Kayako and Masami share, in their own separate ways. And that's why its such a triumph to watch Kayako finally find her voice, her passion, and her process, which all starts in this scene.

First, though, it's time to learn about the Something that Masami has Going On.

Things begin when Kayako is still sleeping. Masami gets a call on her house phone that she doesn't answer, but that sends her into a silent spiral of emotional dread. She spends the next day at school in the nurse's office, refusing to tell Kayako what's going on and confiding only in her friend Nakano. Then, when summer break comes along, she disappears, leaving Kayako alone at home, pouring silently over the book of still life oil paintings that Masami lent her.

It ends up being Nakano who tells Kayako why she left. It's the story Masami didn't tell about the source of her abortion: an adult, married man whom she had a relationship with and eventually a pregnancy from. She got things taken care of without telling him, alerted her parents and tried never to see the rotten salaryman again. That is, until he called. He wasn't getting along with his wife anymore, apparently, and she had some sort of attachment to him that made her come running back. Her taste in music originally came from him, after all. It seems that, for the time being, her devotion to this mysterious, abusive man is going to perpetuate a brutal cycle: she'll keep hurting both Kayako and herself all at once.

What really destroys Kayako and her relationship, though, is that she lies about it. When she comes home after some predictably rough interactions with this guy, she tells her supposed girlfriend that she was enjoying a vacation with friends, and even gives her some grapes, supposedly grown in the prefecture she was hanging out in, as a twisted souvenir. The more assertive Kayako enforces her boundaries without hesitation, though, in equally as blunt a tone as she complimented her love, as when she told her she wanted to stay with her, all those nights ago. "Why are you lying to me?" Its with that same grin, now tinged with emotionally oblivious deception, that Masami dares to at first first feign ignorance.

"Eh?" Her smile is shallower than its ever been.

So Kayako walks away.

Their dynamic has now become worse than just immature; it's entirely toxic. From an outside perspective, Kayako is working on her shortcomings, while Masami refuses to reconcile her past. This kind of toxicity, though, is sadly just as common in high school (and even sometimes middle school) as is the kind of misunderstanding, lonely pining I talked about earlier, just usually among different sorts of people. Appropriately, its often even that exact kind of beautiful, hurting, mature femme (in the eyes of disastrous, moody lesbians like Kayako) who is going through that sort of pain. Its that mysterious and tragic byproduct of compulsory heterosexuality that causes a lot of girls to seek validation in the love of an older man, and that I imagine becomes a sort of addiction to that validation that only masquerades as love. Hell, Masami attributes much of what made her seem so interesting on the surface, her love of music, to this guy. She feels like she'd be nothing without him, and the way Kayako praised her, at least in the way she interpreted it, did nothing to dispel this fear. Which I think is really why she decided to go back, even though it would mean betraying the very girl whose love provided her an escape from it all.

Its an ugly truth, and its one that yuri media usually shies away from portraying, but it is explored with refreshing frankness and resolved with astounding maturity by the end of blue. And I think its the source material's status as "alternative" (I guess in Japanese parlance, Garo-inspired) manga, not to mention the movie's simply as an independent film, that allows it to break with genre limitations in this way. There's been tons of writing done on how yuri definitely presents a fantasy of the sapphic experience. Mainstream yuri's origins in Class-S still to this day often cause it to portray romances between women as fundamentally different, and inherently more pure, than those involving men, trapping them in a bubble of unassailable innocence. While that kind of makes sense and seems extremely cool to those of us who celebrate having little interest in moids or whatever, it also has the effect of sugarcoating and sometimes even outright obscuring what real women, even (and sometimes especially) sapphic ones, go through.

There's already a decent amount of yuri, especially among those aimed at older demographics and those where its more of a secondary genre, that do deal with compulsory heterosexuality and the experiences that come with it. What are much rarer are yuri series where one of the lover's flaws more resemble Masami's than Kayako's. Not enough that I've read at least is willing to make its relationships messy, or have one of its leads just do straight up bad things like self-destructive cheating and lying.

Because, really, its the same as what Kayako went through, isn't it? The lonely longing for something more that feels like it can only be cleansed by denying oneself all one has and betting it all on being close to someone else. The only difference between the two's actions is temperament and perhaps socialization--one sought it from a cooler woman, the other from an older man. And somewhere out of sight, that sad, irresponsible, fucked-up adult was probably hopelessly lonely, too, just like Kayako had to accept Masami was. Maybe disaster lesbians, disaster bisexuals(?), and yes, disaster straights aren't so different after all.

Well, other than that Kayako has worked to process her feelings, while Masami went and ruined her relationship over them. That's an important difference. Still, though, even Kayako has some work to do about how she feels about all of this. Masami's pedestal has been smashed, whether she likes it or not, and now she's lonelier than ever. So where does this vampiric cycle of taking from others end? What substance can replace loneliness in this ouroboros of etropic emotional alchemy?

Kayako doesn't touch the grapes. Instead, she silently processes things, lies on the floor listening to the cicadas scream in the garden. The grapes go rotten, and her brother throws them out. She sulks for a while.

Then, she starts painting. A still life of grapes, inspired by the books that Masami lent her. At first, her drawing is lousy, as the school fine arts instructor later tells her, but the colors are gorgeous. The deep purples of the fruits are expertly layered to capture light and tell a story, one deeper than the instructor could possibly imagine. It's the story not only of the transformation of a relationship, but of the growth of one of its participants. As the hot, still air of the coastal Japanese summer cloys around her lonesome final vacation of high school, Kayako finally salvages a passion to call her own out of a floundering relationship. When school starts again and she picks up art classes, going to Tokyo for uni, a dream that was previously held only by Masami, starts to be within her reach. She has a future, an interest, and a way to process all has happened to her.

And then comes the time for Masami to try and return. She proves unwilling to address all that happened before, instead trying to kiss Kayako after school in the art room. Her undeserved attempt at intimacy is rejected with a shove, but so too is her self-pity that causes her to instantly run away. There's more that needs to be said that simply "I'm a terrible person." Kayako pursues her into the town's small shopping district as night begins to fall and neon crackles to life against a cool late summer night. Now the emotional climax of the movie begins.

First, Kayako starts talking. She tells Masami about the painting, about her summer, about how lonely she was without her, about all the places she wanted to go with her. She talks about how happy she was at the same time that she found something she wanted to do without her. This approach is new for her. She's never so far relied on words so heavily to express her emotions. When Masami points this out, Kayako says:

This is how she's choosing to process things for the time being. At first, it was being silent to carefully consider her emotions. Now, its speaking up to keep them focused on what she really wants.

Then, its Masami's turn, for the first time, to tell the truth. By now they're away from the small cluster of lights, staring out at the blackness of the beach where they first got together. Masami broke up with the guy, she says. But she also asserts that she came to his emotional aid to begin with because she felt his need for help was more important than anything else to her. She couldn't tell her girlfriend this before, because doing so would mean telling a truth she didn't think Kayako could bear to hear: that he meant more to Masami than she did.

Kayako already knows this, of course. And by speaking up to quell her justified anger, by weaving words like the deft strokes of honest color on the tip of a paintbrush, she's gotten herself to a point where she can accept it, too.

I mean, think about it. Masami is broke now; Kayako needed to buy her a sandwich so she wouldn't be hungry on their impromptu date. Her sabotaging drive to be validated and her inability to accept love from the girl willing to give it has, by all accounts, ruined her life for the time being and harmed those around her. Even though she broke up with the guy out of necessity, or out of some fleeting impulse to run back to Kayako, she still feels like nothing without him. As she says to Kayako later, now the envy runs in reverse--Kayako is passionate about painting now, while Masami will still amount to nothing. Despite it all, though, Kayako is willing to love her. She's called Masami out on what she needs to be, then decided to stay nonetheless.

"I always come second. You broke up with him, so the number one spot is vacant. When someone else comes, you'll put him there...

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For most of my life, I believed that artistic expression was primarily the product of unrestrained, innate, and self-indulgent passion. I thought it was just something people either have or don't have, and that when they do, its something that can drive them to great heights of accomplishment and happiness otherwise impossible for humans to reach. It was mostly Japanese otaku media that instilled this into me, I think. I grew up exposed to a dizzying array of diverse and often miraculous artistic products that captured my imagination in ways the safe output of my own boring, monolithic home empire never did, and most of them were made by people who literally poured their lives into working on them. From Eiichro Oda's future-destroying, decades-long devotion to making One Piece to Kentaro Miura giving his life to practically paint the ceiling of the Sistene Chapel in pen on page after double-page spread in Berserk, to all of the hyper-passionate, universe-shattering early works of Hideaki Anno and his animator cohorts, I thought that I lived in a world of weird and wonderful treats whose cooks had the work ethic of demigods and the talent to match.

And even on the lower levels of the medium, among fan artists, cosplayers, writers, posters, historians, I felt surrounded by people who lived and breathed impossible passion, whose lives must have been defined by a kind of information processing my brain simply wasn't capable of. They had some ability to inhale the miraculous vapors of an abundant artistic landscape and spew out works of their own that further decorated the texture of a fleeting age of impossible marvels. And all that time, there I was, left on the sidelines, interested in many things but passionate about none, and lacking the motivation to really work to pursue anything at all. It was (and, honestly, still is) a state of existential discomfort similar to that sort of lonely-girl-pining, but doubtlessly far larger in scale. Some people had passion, while I had nothing to show for all my years of being alive. For fuck's sake, there was so much stuff out there, and I barely could muster the motivation to even read any of it most of the time.

After a while, I started to feel like I was simply broken, like I was an empty person that didn't belong in the very world I loved living in. And while I think this might be a niche outlook and insecurity (although one represented, to my profound gratitude, in Masami), I think it's also how a lot of people think about love. Love is often portrayed as a feeling sparked entirely of instinct, one that, when a person truly feels it, will never cause them to make any mistakes or do anything fucked up to those they care about. Something that will drive those bolstered by it to impossible heights, improve lives beyond the sorrow and loneliness to which they are otherwise condemned. But, as Kayako learned and as Masami and I are having to find out, that isn't really the whole story.

Expression is love. Love is process. Therefore, expression is also the labor of putting love through a process, of rigorously trying to get your ass in a seat and put in the steps of putting your feelings into form. As this is required of art, so is it required of relationships. And so the two are a cycle. Creation requires emotions to process; relationships require emotions to be processed. And the love that creation inspires feeds itself into the love for others that inspires the emotion to fuel more creation. A Labor of Love. Again, I know I'm New.

But this is what Kayako has been working up to all movie long, first with her silence, then with some words, then with the labor of painting, the iteration of getting better, then with more words again. She has found a slow cycle that is elevating her above her loneliness, a cycle that Masami helped create, and is welcome within, but that can, if need be, exist without her.

Love, labor, process. Expression, creation, process. Creating, processing, choosing...in the end, to do it all again. To stay with what--and who--you have labored to love. And that is the choice Kayako has made.

I have not yet answered what, after thinking and writing about this movie for days on end, might be the substance that can replace loneliness as fuel for the alchemical cycle of emotional taking and giving. By the end of the lovers' reunion, sitting by the road under the slowly-illuminating blue of a haphazardly-clouded dawn sky, Masami doesn't feel like she has an answer, either. She feels small and hollow, manipulative and weak. She's jealous of the coping strategy her own girlfriend has developed to deal with the effects of her bad behavior. So, in the end, what is she? What is there even left for Kayako to love?

I'll be honest, this feeling is so fucking real I get perilously teary every time I think about it. Because, for as much as I mused about Kayako's feelings resonating with me as a former and sometimes girl-piner, when it comes to my current relationship at age 22, it's Masami in whom I see myself most clearly and brutally. It's hard not to when she is the only representation in romance, let alone in yuri, I have seen so far who is as much of a fucking brat as I am at times. Whose tendency to sabotage her own relationship makes it so asymmetric that what her girlfriend feels appears almost one-sided, but whose love is real all the same. If she lacks process, talent, maturity, mystique, if no one is ever going to be good enough for her, then what at all does she have left?

The answer to all of this is the thing that lies at the core of her being, that makes her who she is. The source of her potential to express herself, the starting point of a process yet to fully begin. It's hard to see, but it's there. Its what makes her Endou Masami. And its what Kirishima Kayako loves the most.

It's color. It's the thing at the core of creation that can't be described with words, that forms the motivation for any process. Its the vivid purple of a painted grape whose intentional creation transcends deception and nurtures discovery. It's the blue of a dawning sky whose light guides two girls in messy, lopsided love back into each other's arms. It's Kirishima Kayako. It's Endou Masami. It's what everyone has, and it's all anyone has.

It's the source of love, its process, and its object.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually, Kayako has to leave for Tokyo. That's the decision that's best for her, and its a decision that, for the time being, will leave Masami behind in the countryside, hard at work on the process of learning to love herself. At the end of the film, she sends Kayako one final piece of proof of who she is. It's a painting of sorts, recorded on VHS, composed not of oil but of compressed light and sound. Stylistically, as the camera zooms in, it begins to resemble less Renoir and more Rothko: at first, its the beach, then, simply the point of the horizon, the area where the sea and sky meet. Its raw, not quite processed, pure color, vibrant blue, filtered and compressed into chunky, washed-out 800x600.

By way of description, "this is all I can do."

For years, I've struggled to believe that my emotions, hindered by depression and self-sabotage, have any value at all. As someone for whom love, passion, and expression have always felt difficult, even putting my thoughts down on a page, let alone drawing, painting, composing, or directing, has always seemed impossible. Recently, though, I've grown a lot. I've found the beginnings of a process learned to accept its existence. Both this process, and all the loves that go along with it, are often uncomfortable. They are painful and brutal and blissful things into which to pour the labors of communication and the torments of understanding. I've learned to process discomfort for the sake of creation, to create for the sake of love. It sounds cheesy, but again, I can't help what I wanted to write about.

I hope you'll join me as I find more new things and tough feelings I love to process on this account. There's so much more I'd love to say about blue, just for starters. I could talk about my undying appreciation for the work of Mikako Ishikawa, or how the shots in this movie are so gorgeous and evocative that I'd seen many of them before in "Japan in the 00s" vibes compilations.

But, until then, this is all I can do.

[everythingismadeofchaos]

Hey so I have to ask this question. I am an old, and I've been trying anime sporadically for literal decades (since I saw Twilight of the Cockroaches in the theater), but I couldn't find much I liked and didn't really start getting into it until I saw One Punch Man season 1 after it first came out and before season 2 and it made me laugh and just have a wonderful time. At that point I realized there probably was a lot of anime that was worth my time, and I started looking for it, and what I discovered was that anime is actually like most things: most of it is crap and has no interest for me, but some of it is really good and some of it is fantastic. So just recently I found Dungeon Meshi.

I love Dungeon Meshi. It's inspired me to actually try reading manga, which I've never been able to enjoy before. I sporadically tried comics over the years, but it still hasn't stuck even when it's material that I'm really interested in; I don't know why but it just doesn't work for me. Manga never has either, although I haven't really tried it much. But now I've tried reading Dungeon Meshi and I'm having kind of mixed results but I'm happy I'm trying it even though it's kind of diluted by the fact that I've already seen this story in the anime. I'm really looking forward to another manga by the same author that I ordered the other day at the suggestion of somebody on Tumblr, when I previously asked for advice. I have high hopes that I will enjoy that more than I enjoy the DM manga simply because I've never seen the stories before. Apparently there are seven short stories; that should be fun.

But my question is this. Is the inherent creepiness of anime what's really holding it back in the west? All of the sexualization of young girls, and even leaving aside young girls there's this phenomenon I'm going to call "the chainmail bikini effect" because it kind of parallels a phenomenon in Western fantasy, that all really screws up my enjoyment of the story. I can't bloody stand harem anime. I find it so, so aggravating. And the thing is, I'm really curious about this other genre with all these other ideas and settings and conventions and I really like all of that stuff. It's just the creepy pseudo-pedophilia and hypersexualization. I feel like most anime wants me to be a pedophile and that's creepy as fuck.

So how much other anime is there that isn't like this? One Punch Man really wasn't, although there were one or two characters I guess who were kind of parodies of the genre, which makes sense since the whole thing was a parody, but there's got to be more. I mean I loved Ascendance Of A Bookworm, because even though that was a young girl there was absolutely nothing sexualized about it. I loved the Saga of Tanya the Evil. It really stands out and is completely different from anything else that I'd ever seen in that genre, although it does remind me a lot of a book I read a couple of decades ago called The Blue Max, which they completely ruined in a movie starring George Peppard; the book is about this character sort of fighting against his own personal demons and losing, but the movie character is just a positive decent neato white hat hero guy and it ruins the whole concept. Tanya is like that book (not the movie obviously).

What else is out there in this department? What am I going to enjoy like Delicious in Dungeon because it doesn't carry these creepy garbage ideas? Suggestions actively solicited. And thank you very much in advance for reading this wall of text.

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR Rambles 15 times Shadow took the kids

Dark's utterly confused face here sends me every time.

Because DARK knows that Shadow doesn't actually give a rats ass if he's okay. HOWEVER.

This is where Dark's weird understanding of lying comes in.

Because I have faith in you you can see right through Dark's clear lies.

His phrasing is ridiculous paired with his expression being deader than a fish.

Dark is lying through his teeth here and guess who taught him how to do that... :)

Vio and Shadow-

Vaati fell for it. Lmao. Not like he hasn't been betrayed before.

Shadow tries intimidation buuuuut-

Well shit that only goes so far when you haven't proved yourself to act on said intimidation.

Shadow is still afraid of Vaati, and we know from Zelda's fight with him Vaati isn't easy to kill soooooo.

Reasonably so I'd say.

Dark is saying what we've all been thinking "Lmao let's just pull out Vio and the McGuffin sword"

Lol wait- Oh yeah Vio can't because of Dark.

Haha. Woopsie.

Dark going to just deal with it himself and being reeled back by Shadow is sweet to an extent.

Dark's confused about what this physical interaction means, whether or not this counts as a hug. Because let's be real Vaati isn't something he considers as a threat rn what else is his mind gonna focus on?

Shadow's angry Dark's so reckless but Dark's unfazed by the entire situation.

It's sad to consider Dark probably assumes temper tantrums are a normal behavior considering how frequent everyone he's watched so far has em...Just a thought.

Ngl Shadow's use of the word "Fool" in the OG manga always got a laugh out of me. His dialogue is so evil villain I try to capture that in FSR Shadow.

Shadow wanted to try to formulate a plan with Dark to get Vaati to go away but Dark questions why they'd even do that. Flabbergasting the fuck out of Shadow.

Dark HAS no sense of people working with HIM. Obviously Dark would know what team work is since...He's literally watching the team work pride parade but no one has offered HIM team work.

Vaati just bosses him around after all.

Dark's thought process on how his existence works is on full display.

He's alone. He WORKS alone and no body but him is going to get things done. Thanks Vaati.

...There's also the angle to consider he's actually learned this behavior in some capacity from Link...Link HAS been doing this shit by himself for a long time now....

So Shadow offering help is smth that gives him pause.

In the last pane the motif of Dark Link being his own cheer leader/being generally self aggrandizing pops up again.

His wording just being odd aside, he doesn't communicate what he actually WANTS to do, just that he needs Shadow's help getting close...

and from the quotes around help and the knowledge Dark can move fast as fuck on the reader's side, it's implied Dark is just placating Shadow's idea of helping rather than Shadow being actually useful in this interaction. At least from Dark's perspective.

Shield is up boys RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

Shadow points out reasonably Dark is not being a very good team mate. XDDD

Be nice to him Shadow he's new to this whole "Team" thing.

Panel 2 here is funny because Dark makes the most NON Dark Link expression it stands out particularly just because it's funny but also like, take note of what he called Vaati here.

He just called him "Vaati".

Not "Master Vaati" or "Lord Vaati"

Just Vaati... HMM.

He also flung himself at Vaati full force so there's that.

OH FUCK IT'S YAOI- Oh a serious note...

Prepare to get bamboozled.

Yeah there's a reason Vaati is fucking confused. Dark was taking another conversation out of context to try and comfort Vaati.

So if there was any doubt about if that was what Dark was doing or not: Let me put those questions to rest that is what he was trying to do. XD

The kiss particularly is funny considering...Well yeah Shadow did kiss Vio a lot.

Shadow being, reasonably flabbergasted at this interaction just gets a laugh out of me.

Vaati's got nothing to say that shit hah. Dark isn't making MUCH sense in this interaction.

Dark does show he's still loyal in some way to Vaati though.

Turns out: Vaati's just not in the mood to deal with Dark's nonsensical behavior and points out an...interesting caviat to the whole "let's recruit Dark link" plan.

They have to kill him.

In no uncertain terms, to destroy the curse would be to destroy Dark Link. So having him on your side really doesn't mean anything. As he'll do what he was created for by nature.

In a way it brings you to question how much free will Dark truly has in this equation. Also, it makes you kinda realize in a messed up way Dark and Link both suffer due to the curse. They're chained to each other on a drowning ship.

Shadow's hypocrisy on display again. He JUST helped this dude and now thinks about killing him. XD

But also: What's the answer to this?

It's a train track scenario in a lot of ways.

Also since Dark's a curse, destroying his body or hurting him won't do much good to actually get rid of the curse itself.

His body will just regenerate or he'll retreat into the headspace.

There's also the thought of, if Link died, what WOULD happen to Dark Link...

Dark is insanely hard to argue with. Because dude can read you like a book and play you like a fiddle.

You can't LIE to him and he'll speak how he feels based on what he's seen.

Like, Dark isn't even just slinging the "you're gannon" ace up his sleeve card at him. He's bringing up things Shadow himself has actually DONE. And that pisses Shadow off.

No matter how much Shadow removes himself from his past self, he still DID those things.

And it does bring to question which of these two are more "Moral".

Dark hasn't killed anyone while it's at least heavily implied in the manga Shadow at least COULD HAVE and shows the willingness to do so to Vio at least.

Dark's "reason" for not killing people is "They stop being fun."

Dead people are boring. Like Link's dad. Which is just, a roast and a half.

Dark takes his aim and fires. Bro doesn't miss a shot. He'll drag everyone.

Shadow also has hurt Vio.

Really the idea Shadow and Dark have a LOT in common is a theme.

Like Shadow can get pissed off as much as he wants at Dark, he's done WAY WORSE than this lil demon guy and can't even argue about that.

The question of how much Dark truly means here is also up in the air as Dark will just say things on other's minds.

Reminder Dark is straight terrified of Shadow Link and just kinda shuts down when Shadow gets peak pissed off at him.

Dark sees Vaati as a fool who needs his help, and seeks Shadow as a threat who's going to hurt him.

Usually actions would speak louder than words, but in Dark's case feeling someone's emotions is 10xs more important. And what Dark knows is Shadow genuinely despises him.

Haha remembering the time pig dad abused you.

But this time Shadow takes the place of gannon being the threatening imposing force.

Thought to consider: Shadow's fear of gannon is reflecting in Dark's fear of Shadow link because...Well Shadow is a piece of gannon. They're in a way afraid of the same entity.

Shadow puts the mask back on and tries to be good boy.

Visually Dark's tendency to grab his hat and keep it close is similar to an animal keeping it's tail tucked between it's legs.

Welp, the beans have been spilled. Dark IS still working for Vaati...Kind of.

In Dark's own words it's not "For"

but Dark never makes sense to anyone other than himself so...

He also just, assumes Shadow knows what he's there for. Which is amusing. Dark in general assumes everyone else should know everything he does.

The comparison to Zelda is baffling but if you really think about it, Dark does make some semblance of sense here:

Link protects Zelda.

Dark protects Vaati.

Tis the same thing. According to Dark Link.

Dark Link in his own words is a hero.

Shadow's reasonable question of "What's wrong with you" is such a genuine reaction to that shit it makes me laugh. Dark's actions make no sense to Shadow but Dark's affections for Vaati aren't logical hah.

Dark wants to see Vio tho and Shadow just, shuts down thinking about this situation

He didn't give Dark an answer so Dark just goes to pick flowers. XD

Shadow's in a tight situation here. What's the best course of action?

"What to do with Dark Link" and "How to introduce him to the others" is a very...difficult one to answer.

If Dark was a mindless curse with no person attached it'd be easy to just destroy him guilt free. But he's not.

Shadow can't tell if Dark's behavior is genuinely malicious or if he's just socially inept (Third option Shadow: He's just acting in accordance to the curse.)

And another thing: How does dealing/handling Dark affect how Shadow should be treated?

After all they're very alike.

Final panels shows Dark offering up a flower to Shadow.

This page is both hilarious and disturbing.

Dark offering up the flower with a cute lil hopeful expression, paired with a happy looking eye on his chest.

Shadow accepting it and being like "Ah we're cool then right-"

only to see Dark vomiting up a bunch of flowers is just, funny. I find it very funny.

"You like one!? :D HAVE A BUNCH MORE!"

It's a reminder Dark really has no sense of how horrifying he is as he's trying to be nice here. XDDD

Which Dark being able to be kind (In his own way) is again smth worth noting. Dark isn't stuck JUST making people misseriable as he actively tries to do the opposite.

Dark continuously breathing out pollen is just a very funny thing to me.

The sense of "I've fucked up" seeping back.

I was listening to the song "Nuts" from adventure time while working on these pages. I feel like that song kinda relates to Dark and Shadow's relationship.

"You're so annoying you pitiful old man. I'd like to help you but I dunno if I can. I thought you were nuts. But, you're REALLY. REALLY. REALLY NUTS."

Actual page shit:

Shadow understands what Vio meant now. XD

Running away from your issues just FEELS easier in the moment sometimes.

Shadow's confessions of being "not a hero" and being terrified about their future make Dark visibly sad.

The comment "We are afraid of very different things Shadow Link" is I think the first time really Dark's directly addressed Shadow as such without the quotation marks or general disbelief in that name/title.

If it's not, at least the moment is impactful because Dark is giving Shadow respect in a way he typically chooses not too.

Shadow is very much afraid of Vaati, so Dark not relating to that emotion is a stand out.

Him fidgeting with his hands is a detail I just find cute.

"I feel that thing you hate" - directed at Vaati is Dark confessing he feels pity for Vaati. Since in FS Shadow says he despises pity.

Dark explains WHY he pities Vaati, he just finds Vaati utterly pitiful. XD

They have a little moment of bonding over their shared experiences with Vaati.

Dark mimicking Vaati here showing what he wishes Vaati would say to him:

Dark Link wants praise and affection and relationships with others.

But due to his very nature it's very difficult to actually gain these things, and the people he's spoken to outright deny him of these in any meaningful way.

Shadow's question of "Aren't you afraid of what he'll do" just gets "I like Vaati" in response. Pff.

Yes we know buddy, very insightful.

The 2nd to last panel shows smth very insightful:

Firstly that "Nobody loves Vaati" Any care Dark DOES have towards Vaati isn't just him mimicking someone else as it's safe to say everyone hates that guy haha.

More disturbingly:

Dark Link doesn't consider himself a "Somebody" and starts trailing off at the end of his sentance.

"I think it's sad, but it's his own fault...he rejects the only-" and then stops.

Dark Link referencing himself as the "person" Vaati continuously rejects but stops before he calls himself a "person" verbally.

You could imagine his continued sentence would be "He rejects the only person who cares about him"

Somebody's hair and eyes changed.

Instead of being white at the roots Dark's hair shifts to being Vio's complete hair color.

This is where we dive into psychological horror realm.

What IS Dark if not a person. IS he a person? What qualities does he have that make him a person?

Dark struggles with the distinction of if he's a "real person" or not but quickly dismisses it as smth Vio has been thinking. Which...Is true but also, considering his line about "Nobody loving Vaati" despite very much so caring about Vaati. Dark's identity crisis isn't exactly smth he has a firm grasp on.

PAGE. LIMMIT. Wrote this while sick so I'm sure I missed shit Aghhh.

[heathersproship]

how bad is it? i just got it on my youtube recommended and i dont want to give it watch time

Going through the transcript because I'm not watching it again lmao. Typed it all out for context. Misinformation bolded in red for you to skim through.

TLDR: Youtuber Thumin obviously and obliviously describing antis but labeling them as proshippers. Unsurprisingly, she got her info from the good ol' Tiktok.

Starting at 3:24: "Let me go over what a proshipper even is."

"A proshipper is a fandom term for an individual who endorses or creates content that ships fictional characters together regardless if the ship is considered controversial or taboo. These ships can include minors in compromising situations, child x adult relationships, incest, and even glorified violence and SA. The reason why proshippers get so much backlash is their insistence on normalizing specifically child x adult relationships and sexualizing underage characters in their works while avidly defending their stance. "According to proshippers, they aren't doing anything wrong by depicting fictional children in inappropriate ways because no real child was harmed when creating said works. They are adamant that the problematic works they create or consume are completely harmless because it's fictional and those who criticize said works are stupid and in the wrong. This is my biggest issue with proshippers specifically. It's one thing to have a controversial opinion on something and rolling with it, and another to try and shove it down others' throats or harassing and bullying others who don't agree with your opinion. Proshippers are infamous for seeking out anyone who has any criticism for works that depict children in disturbing ways and straight up harassing them over that opinion. "It happened to me a while ago too when I criticized a manga because it shipped a kindergarten teacher with a toddler and I got swarmed by angry proshippers who insist I was in the wrong for my opinon. They went on to harass me in my mentions by sharing toddler hentai for anyone to see while still mocking me for not liking such a predatory relationship. [. . .] "In these fandom streets, proshippers are infamous for being freaks and weirdos who judge anyone who doesn't approve of their bizarre interest in sexualizing fictional kids. Some go as far as calling proshippers who still continue to sexualize children even in their adulthood [pedophiles]. [. . . ] So now that we know what a proshipper is and how problematic they can be . . ."

At 6:40:

"A proshipper is literally just a term for someone who supports problematic ships . . ."

At 9:40:

"When it comes to the whole discussion of if being a proshipper is good or bad, that's up to you guys to decide for yourself. I personally dislike the ship dynamics that proshippers die on the hill for. I think it's disgusting to sexualize underage characters, incest, and non-consensual relationships. That's my opinion. I also believe that sharing art like that could hurt real children because it helps normalize depredation that is being glorified in said works. Again, this is just my opinion. If these sensitive and taboo subjects are covered in a non-glorified way in order to shed light on them or to tell a compelling story then I personally don't mind them. As a fan of horror mangas and thrillers, it's common to come across stories with disturbing relationship dynamics and that's totally okay. The issue I have with proshippers is that they defend even the most blatant works that are literally just made and meant for predators to consume. They also have to attack and force their ideals on anyone even if it means harassing them for simply disagreeing with them. This is what I've personally noticed is the case, at least online."

So my New Year's Adam was incredibly disappointing lol. I quite liked her content. And I did the proshipper thing, which was to immediately SMASH THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON to unfuckingsub.

There was a comment she replied to saying that she worded it like this due to her experiences with proshippers in the past. Bestie, those weren't proshippers. SALS, like live and let live, is inherently anti-harassment. Someone whose job is to put out informative videos to facilitate meaningful discussions should know not to get her info from fucking Tiktok of all places.

[rosalind-hawkins]

Mastershipping Musings ft. Pegasus

Pegasus is obviously a point of contention between Duke and Kaiba.

Pegasus and Kaiba still have to be business partners after Duelist Kingdom in anime canon, and that's the primary canon I follow because I'm still working on the manga. (side-note: Pegasus probably makes Kaiba pay through the nose for BEWD royalty rights, don't ya think?) Anytime they encounter each other, in business meetings and gaming conventions and tournaments, they have to play (mostly) polite in front of the cameras, but Kaiba can't stand him. That said, he's built his entire company based on Duel Monsters, so he has no choice but to put up with him. I imagine that Kaiba keeps Mokuba away from Pegasus as much as possible, to the point of making sure they're never ever in the same room together and trying to just never mention Pegasus to Mokuba if he can help it. Mokuba doesn't act outwardly traumatized after DK, but he's not taking any risks and not putting his brother in harm's way. Pegasus is a dangerous man, and Kaiba learned that lesson the hard way.

{Long post, rest under cut}

Duke idolized Pegasus as an artist and creator, and was basically the sole inspiration for Dungeon Dice Monsters. Once he finds out about what Pegasus did to the Kaibros in Duelist Kingdom, he's going to feel so conflicted. I think the internet's been around for long enough that we've all had a creator that we liked get outed for something awful they've done (I feel like it's happened a lot) and then we have that uncomfortable feeling afterwards of "but their art/content is so good" "but I shouldn't support them" "but you can separate the art from the artist" "but not when consuming the art is giving them money." Duke is gonna have a whole crisis about it when he finds out. When.

I don't think Kaiba feels a need to explain to Duke what Pegasus did, as he really doesn't come up too often as a topic of conversation between them, but also because he doesn't want to deal with the memory of it.

This gets a little bit into something that's fun for me: the different histories that Duke and Ryou have with Kaiba. Ryou experienced Duelist Kingdom (complete with the Kaiba bros getting their souls stolen by Pegasus) and Duke knows nothing about that. There's no reason for anybody in the friend group to tell Duke about what Pegasus did to Kaiba, or that Pegasus even had a Millennium Item (I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that never even comes up around Duke in season four). Ryou has no reason to talk to him about Pegasus because Ryou never thinks about Pegasus. Just forgets about the dude most of the time. And it also slips his mind that Duke doesn't know about that.

On the flip side, Ryou knows nothing about the Noah Kaiba virtual world adventure (I imagine Duke calls it the Battle City Bonus Round) because he was in the Shadow Realm, so he doesn't know about the KaibaCorp missiles that still exist btw (that's something important from that arc that I think it's easy to forget about, but yeah, Kaiba still owns all the weapons that KC had when he took over) and he didn't meet Noah or Gozaburo or find out how screwed up the Kaiba family is from that. He gets told or finds out later that Seto and Mokuba are adopted, but that's about it.

It's also entirely possible that at some point these three—Pegasus, Duke, and Kaiba—will sit down to a business meeting together because of the deals between their three companies. Just imagine Duke going into this meeting with no idea of the personal history between Pegasus and the Kaibas, all he knows is the professional stuff between their companies, and he assumes that they're on friendly terms with each other. Boy oh boy, is he in for a surprise (yes, this is a scene that I have planned for Power of Three). Duke goes in clueless with his boyfriend and the artist he adores, and then they're both going for the jugular, and he's just in shock. One of the few things that can leave Duke truly speechless, but he's got words for Kaiba after the meeting, you can count on that!

Power of Three snippet/preview below, because this scene won't be getting published for a looooong time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You were so much cuter when we first met," Pegasus sighed. "Fifteen and full of hope, and so terribly naïve."

"You've always been an opportunist,” Kaiba scoffed. “I wasn't nearly as naïve as you thought I was."

"You were naïve enough, dear boy. After all, you trusted me."

"At least you admit that you're untrustworthy."

Pegasus smiled.

Again, Duke was at a loss.

"Have you seen the pictures of when we first met?" Pegasus asked Duke, his smile smooth and charming. "He was downright adorable."

The way he stressed that last word made Seto's skin crawl.

"I'm not sure that's relevant to the topic of royalties," was Duke's tactful response. Seto had told him to keep the conversation on-topic; he’d thought Seto meant for him not to get distracted, not to keep the other two on track.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm not the one luring children to my private island in international waters,” Kaiba sneered, and Duke couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen him look so angry.

"Children are delightful, and they have such vivid imaginations." Pegasus laughed, his relaxed posture a sharp contrast to Kaiba's tension. "I can only imagine what Mokuba invented about his visit with me that makes you so resentful."

"You call that a visit?"

"Of course it was a visit. He even had his own little room." Pegasus's single brown eye twinkled. "And so did you, for that matter."

Kaiba stood sharply, glaring down at Pegasus, who simply leaned back in his chair and met his gaze. Duke held his breath, too confused to know what to say at this point. The silence stretched out, the clock on the wall audibly ticking down every second that passed.

"You're a damn lucky man that I can't cut ties with you," Seto finally said, releasing the fists that had been clenched at his sides.

"I'm a damn clever man for making things that way."

The air felt heavy in Duke's lungs and on his shoulders as he looked between the man he loved and the man he idolized.

"As long as you're damned, I'm content." Kaiba carefully sat back down.

"You're never content, but that's alright. I like you that way." Pegasus leaned forward again. "Back to the contracts?"

"Yes."

[june16th2018]

things i deeply hate in bungou stray dogs (and its fandom)

tw opinions

(disclaimer: bsd is one of my fav manga ever)

1 • those short ass chapters

like what do you mean i've been waiting for a whole month only to get a 12 seconds reading (jk ofc i respect asagiri's work but that's immensely frustrating)

2 • sigzai, kunikizai, fyoya and every nonskk ship being compared to the actual skk

i KNOW every ship is valid but you cannot compare your goofy pairings to a relationship as complex as dazai and chuuya's

you cannot

also if i see one more zigzag shipper saying that dazai kissed sigma bc he's in love with him i'm going to lose my mind, i don't think yall realize how ridiculous you sound

(and don't come at me skk isn't even my fav ship 💀)

3 • talking abt skk, the dumb shippers

sigzai shippers may be ridiculous asl but skk shippers are freaking dumb (hopefully i'm one of the smart ones 👩🏻‍🦯)

no chuuya wasn't devastated when dazai left, he celebrated with wine and it's canon

yall are drooling over the fact skk has the potential to be an enemies to lovers then ruin the "enemies" part, like cmon the whole point of their ship is to be a love hate relationship 💀

4 • dazai wannabes

"me, a dazai kinnie 🤓" bffr

5 • the fandom bringing up bsd in something about some author who happens to be the reference of a character in bungou stray dogs (when it has specifically nothing to do with bsd)

as a literature lover please stfu i would break my dead ass skull if i was one of those poor authors

6 • "rarepairs (or even popular pairings atp) are valid 🥺" and it's almost only gay ships

i just know yall would have been drooling over margaret and nathaniel's relationship if they were wlw or mlm

7 • goofy headcanons

like wdym you can change a character's whole gender and pronouns just bc it's a hc, and wdym you can change a character's AGE just bc it's a hc???

like if it's canon don't change it idk, i would set my country on fire if i was an author witnessing my fandom changing canon facts about a character i created as if it was their own 😍

just create your own oc atp 💀💀

8 • "us bsd fans are so gay and mentally ill 😝😝"

add cringe to the list

9 • the way the manga is running away from the original aesthetic

again i don't mind it that much, but i rmb when i first watched bsd the vintage/dark academia aesthetic was what made me really into it, before things got as interesting as now

10 • the anime adaptation

obviously, who doesn't

(and before anyone comes at me and calls me homophobic or transphobic i just wanted to say that i'm bi and i used to think i was a trans boy (turned out i'm not but still 🥺🥺))

in conclusion?🤓?? the bsd fandom is like a sort of mha fandom 2.0

[not-souleaterpost]

The SOMA - CROMA peace treaty

Well, seems I kinda was indirectly at fault for starting a "shipwar", so for Christmas I'll be the Grinch and steal all the animosity away:

Soul and Maka being together is obviously implied, it's not even just subtext but basically the point of the first one shot chapter. There are countless moments in the anime and manga that work with that and it is undeniable that the romantic part of "being partners" is the most felt with them - from all the handholding, dieing for each other, bickering but actually caring deeply for each other, the pseudo-kiss at the anime end, etc. Crona and Maka's relationship has romantic undertones too - and that is also mostly undeniable, especially in the anime but also in the manga - like Maka calling Crona's soul beautiful, abandoning her past believes and resentment for Crona, Crona defending and later even taking a deadly blow for Maka, saying Maka "made one happy for the first time", etc (Also manga spoilers, so I leave that for the iceberg videos later)

So what am I trying to say by this? That in the end, there really isn't any battle for "truth" - Ohkubo was simply too much pussyfooting and didn't really want to commit enough for either side in the end - because yeah, both side make sense but both also exclude each other. Prefering one or the other is not as much as one side being "wrong" but seeing another thing being reflected in you - basically what I mean - Soul and Crona are both self-inserts of Ohkubo, parts of his view of himsellf or better said archetypes that reflect on the audience: That's why maybe SOMA and CROMA both work in their weird ways - both are just the author shipping himself with his dream waifu - Wait, now I have ruined this for everybody- No, what I tried to say is actually, that charachters aren't "real". not in the sense of "oh it's just entertainment, don't overthink it", but in the way that they aren't individuals like me and you, in the end they are ideas being mediated, emotions being expressed - so is it really the right aproach to try to "PROVE" one's side? - And I'm being self critical here, cause even if I tried to make those posts "Memes" or kinda tongue in cheeck, I did express a sentiment of mine - one which thinking deeply is just emberassingin the end lol. But fuck, I probably miscomunicated with this again - look simplyl said, these charachters are written by the way one reads them, each interpretation is a seed of a story - cause that's what storys are themselves - a series of reteling and changes building on each other - like Soul is obviously inspired by Joe from Ashita no Joe - not consiously necessarily - but being the archetypical "too cool for school" ruffian with a secret heart of gold - but he also isn't just a retread - but an evolution, with the change of backstory from a street urchin to a rich kid under presure: So as "real" authors reinterpret storys, so does everybody, hell I freely admit that in my comic I bend the charachters in a way that I think is interesting and lets me say something new or funny or weird or just even stupid for the sake of it: So Tl;Dr - it doesn't matter which ship is "canon" or "valid" because in the end both "sides are doing something different which doesn't really denys each other - two different storys that yet reflect the one world we all are living in, so vast it's more diverse than any corporate "multiverse"

(Oh also on the whole "problematic" aspect - I think in the end one gets if they aren't some sicko, that yeah, one aspects the charachters in time to get over the charachter flaws that would make a relationship be not the best idea - like yeah Crona should become more of an independet person before "dating" Maka, so unless one wants Crona to stay either a murderous psychopath or a baby that has to be cared for by Maka 24/7, I think there isn't some problem - and why one then probably writes in the change in their interpretation - like I'm trying in my stupid comic, and why I didn't tag it as a CROMA story, firstly because I tried not to get into this whole shipping thing, which probably would have been better and why I' try to get out of it again lol, and because I thought that yeah a lot of things should happen before and that there is a lot potential beyond some generic "fluff" story or whatever people like) So yeah, this will be my last post about "shipping", and I hope people get something from it - worst case scenario CroMa and SoMa shippers can be united in actually having evidence and reason for their shit unlike shit like KidMa which has no canon at all lol But hey, I won't be an asshole for once and say even that could be an interesting thing to explore - the story of a bookworm that competes with the privileged talented Kid, only to see the imperfections as not things to gloat about but as what binds them all. IDK

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! See you again in 2024, and if this post only causes more drama, as allways:

Yeah...Sorry

[mxjackparker]

Bro. 99% of the worst jokes were english dub only and even then they weren't as bad as the humour of other things at the time (esp stuff like Ghost Stories). The anime and manga literally doesn't even revolve around ww2 anymore, and the last time the anime predominantly DID revolve around WW2 was almost a decade ago.

If anything the whole series has basically been retconned at this point. I get feeling embarrassed by old media you used to like but now think is bad, but don't run around calling everyone who likes something you personally dislike a bigot lol.

Personally I think you should probably direct your anger towards y'know- People who are actually supporting actual ongoing genocides rn instead of whining over people who like an anime that had problematic stuff in it A DECADE AGO.

I've made one singular post. I post fanart from BG3 too, when I could be spending the time I use to look at fanart on posting about ongoing genocide too. The seconds you spent typing me this message are seconds you could have spent educating people about what's going on in Sudan or Palestine or donating to fundraisers. You're not annoyed about my use of my time, you're annoyed that I'm criticizing Hetalia at all.

The fundamental concept is bad. I don't care that they've removed the "Axis Powers" in the years since, or whether the dub is worse than the sub (I didn't watch the dub), and I obviously don't think everyone who likes something I dislike is a bigot. I think that Hetalia is a piece of media which relies on stereotyping entire countries, and does so in racist and xenophobic ways, and thus people being really into that concept makes me sad.

I'm not embarrassed because it was a bad piece of media. I am embarrassed because it was a deeply racist and antisemitic show and I overlooked those things to play around in costumes with my friends. By 13 we had learned about the holocaust in school extensively, and it shouldn't have taken until then for me to recognize what the show was doing by glossing over it.

You're not going to convince me not to care about this stuff. I hope you work through whatever it is that makes you want to defend it.

[class-1b-bull]

How would the other 1B students react if Itsuka Kendo's Quirk started to cause problems with her heart? (Loosely inspired by some headcanons I came up with.)

Not proofread we die like men

If kendous quirk were to mess with her heart I would think it would be due to how much blood it would have to pump to her hands to keep them working when she makes them big which would obviously take a toll on her heart (especially after extensive usage)

Awase - he tries to stay nonchalant about the whole thing but its painfully obvious that hes worried about kendo.

Sen - he knows that kendo doesn't want to be treated differently because of her hearts health but he cant help but do little things for her every now and then.

Kamakiri - I think he would be the only person to fully treat kendo the way he always has ykyk. It may sound a little bitchy but sometimes the best thing you can do for someone whos health is declining is pretend they are fine.

Kuroiro - by far one of the most worried but he shows it the least. He just kinda hangs around whenever someone is talking about kendos condition and he spends the rest of the day thinking about ways to help her.

Kendo - when kendou initially found out that her chest pains were due to her quirk she hid it from her classmates for a long time. She didnt want them to treat her differently or view her as weak for her condition.

Kodai - she stays silent about the whole ordeal but she does a bunch of little thing for her to remind her she cares and is worried (like getting her snacks and writing notes for her and such)

Komori - she knows that theres not much she can do to help so she instead makes sure kendo stays in the loop for all of the latest drama. (Specifically when kendo is on hospital leave for a few days)

Shiozaki - prays everyday for the health of her friend but she also does a lot of research and tries to find things that would help her out. (Like making her specific foods that help with pain and blood flow and whatnat)

Shishida - if she ever needs to miss class for a hospital visit or whatever he will bring her any class work she missed and help her through it. He also makes tea for them to drink during their little study sessions (if thats what they would be called idk)

Shoda - he does his best to take on all (or almost all) of kendos usual class representative duties just to make her life easier. Hes really concerned about her health too but hes one of the students that just kinda stands to the side.

Pony - shes very worried about kendos health and she does her best to make sure kendo isnt over working herself. She makes sure to spend time with kendo and helps her with lots of little things <3

Tsubaraba - bro took 'laughter is the best medicine' to heart. He spends all day making sure kendo is happy and laughing to the point where someone needs to drag him away so she can catch her breath. <3

Tetsutetsu - dude starts walking on glass when kendos around after he found out. Hes so scared that mentioning it would upset her (and that wouldent be manly) but at the same time he want to know the details!

Tokage - she helps kendo with training without letting her overwork her quirk, she tries her best to find ways for kendo to continue training without hurting herself <3

Manga - any time she has to get hospitalized due to her heart issues manga will draw a picture for her everyday until shes up and running again.

Honenuki - he spends a lot of time researching different foods that help with pains and blood flow so he can start making her herbal lunches and such :>

Bondo - hes another one of the students that stays to the side and just silently worries. He does little things that makes her day a little easier and has even made her some snacks every now and then

Monoma - he tries to not let it show but he cares about everyone in the hero course (including class A) a lot. So when he found out about kendos heart problems he intentionally put up a front to make it seem like he didnt care but he does everything for her to make her life easier ykyk

Reiko - kendos health and safety is her priority from here on out. She tries to support kendo and understand her struggles. Most of all she just listens to kendo when shes ranting <3

Rin - he tries to help her as much as he can. He helps with both small, insignificant thing and some bigger things. He tries his best to help ease her own worries without letting his worry for her show (since he doesn't wanna stress her out)

Idk why but I always get a mini heart attack when I open my notifications and I see one person went through and liked over half of my posts. (Like a good mini heart attack lol) <3 ilyily

[pastel-comfort]

Don't know much about Sukana, can you tell me more about him?

Gladly!!!! Okay, so Sukana is from the series Jujutsu kaisen (its an anime but started off as a mange that's still being worked on to this day. Up to 265 chapters so far but it's honestly really good.)

Big old dang below the line since I'm just going off lol

Regardless, his actual name is Ryomen Sukana how he's called the king of curses in the series and honestly,I love it. He's also like hella ancient since he was originally from the golden area of Jujutsu,also known as the Heian Era. He was a popular legend,known as the Imaginary Demon even though he was just a human sorcerer known as the disgraced one. During the Heian Era, powerful sorcerers of all kind came over to defeat him and give it there all, only to fail in the end. However, when it came to sukanas end, he went outta his way to become a cursed object even after death so he could be reincarnated each time. The cursed objects he became are literally twenty fingers that can be consumed but not destroyed.

Bro looked like this during his Heian Era.

It's actually known as his true form. He's got four fucking arms, four eyes and all together looks like a fucking god. He looks absolutely gorgeous and I'm all for it tbh. I wanna be held by him. His gorgeous.

Regardless, back on track. The actual series starts when the Mc , Yuji Itadori ends up becoming the vessel for Sukana by eating one of the finger jerky. It's wild but Sukana ain't exactly a pleasant being to be a vessel for so Yuji is tormented the entire time. Poor guy.

Sukana though, when he actually has someone has a host, he'll look abit more like them instead of his original form since he's using them as a vessel. The only difference being the multiple eyes, markings and claws that differ the vessel from Sukana. Take a look below

Looks alot more different due to the host situation. However, if the host ends up consuming the twenty fingers then Sukana basically takes the body for himself. So the four arms and fours eyes come back.

I personally like to draw him in his original form since that's actually what caught my attention bout him. I honestly am just so fascinated with his og/true form and his history. In the actual manga, he does state that he sees love as worthless so when a new sorcerer comes to defeat him(and fail), they try to at least teach and show him ways of love since he was human to begin with. So it's honestly incredibly fascinating to watch and know that their legit using love as a utensil to win when it comes to Sukana since he's just that powerful. Like bro, I would honestly give to a try but do it abit differently.

I want to be the one to show him certain things, take the time needed to show him the smallest aspects of life that he could learn to at least appreciate. Cause in the end, it's the small parts that build the foundation to something bigger. And I'm much shorter than him so I'd make a great foundation.(Lol) Regardless, I'm absolutely infatuated with this man. I love everything about him(i don't condone the whole murder thing he does though since obviously murder is wrong). I want to hold him, let him rest his head on my lap while I play with his hair. I want to help him out when he can't figure things out or help him learn from mistakes. I want to be the one he can depend on and come to when something doesn't add up. I would love this man as the earth would love the sun. No matter how deadly he may be, there is still something so gorgeous about him that gives life a different perspective. I would love him not for the fire or power he holds but I'd love him for the radiant glow that he admits. To the sparkles amongst the sky and how his smile shimmers brighter than the gold on a trophy at the end of the finish line. I want to be the reason he appreciates life so that every day he lives, he can learn and love.

I just love him bro. He's gorgeous.

[bury-me-in-potatoes]

14 Days of MHA: Day 8—Title

My contribution for day 8 of @pikahlua's 14 Days of MHA challenge is a list of my favourite MHA chapter titles in no particular order. I know this is late lmao but I couldn't finish it for yesterday.

The Boy Born with Everything

Honestly, it's really interesting how this chapter title leads you to assume that Shouto's going to turn out to be some privileged kid who doesn't know the true meaning of hard work or something, but then it hits you with his Tragic Backstory™ lol. At the same time, it's not exactly wrong. It's an ironic title, that's for sure.

No, Knock it Off, Ida

This is just funny lmao. I like how there's this running gag of chapters being titled "some action, Iida", and "knock it off" sounds like he's doing something mildly annoying, when really he's trying to commit murder.

Yaoyorozu Rising

Momo's last name sounds really good combined with the "rising" thing lol and idk why, and I'm honestly kind of proud she was the first one to get a rising chapter.

Establishing the Bakugou Bodyguard Brigade

Again, this is just funny. I'm loving the alliteration at the end.

End of the Beginning, Beginning of the End

What a badass but also very ominous title! 95 chapters into a 400+ chapters manga series and we're already getting to the beginning of the end lol. But I do think it fits, because All Might losing the last of his embers really does mark the beginning of The End™.

Deku vs. Kacchan, Part 2

This title is one of my favourites mostly due to the actual contents of the chapter lol, but I guess it counts. Also I couldn't not add it to the list.

Bright Future

Haha. Oof. Rest in peace, Nighteye. I like the optimism of this title despite the depressing contents of the actual chapter.

Why He Gets Back Up

Another badass title! I actually really like the Endeavor mini-arc, since I'm pretty sure his fight against the nomu was where I started genuinely rooting for him. Endeavor might be a piece of crap, but boy does his determination and refusal to give in kind of hype me up as well lol.

Quaotic Quirkstravaganza

I'm pretty sure Horikoshi was just having fun with this one lmao.

That Which is Inherited

Another ominous title...which still sounds badass lol. Sometimes Horikoshi comes up with these really cool titles and other times it kind of feels like he jots down whatever comes to mind first.

My Villain Academia

!!!!!!! Simple yet effective. Good going, Horikoshi.

Interview with a Vampire

I'm like 85% sure this is supposed to be a reference to the Anne Rice novel "Interview with the Vampire", and I love it lol. It makes sense in context, and even without context you instantly know who the chapter's about.

Bloody Love

This kind of sounds like it would be the name of a song lmao. It's catchy.

All It Takes Is One Bad Day

Ominous, and very fitting. Sometimes things build up, and then the tiniest thing is enough to make you snap.

The Hellish Todoroki Family

I really like how the Todoroki family has this whole "hell" thing going on. Their chapters are called "hellish", Touya wants to dance with his father in hell, and in the end, Endeavor vowing to atone for his sins for the rest of his life is also said to be "hell". Also, Endeavor's quirk is literally called Hellflame.

I Wanna Be with You Guys!!

lmao. Poor Kaminari. Get this teenager off the front lines!!

Plus Ultra

The school motto is honestly pretty cool, and I'm surprised we didn't get it as a chapter title before.

Katsuki Bakugo Rising

How could I not put this here? This chapter is one of my favourites out of all the "rising" chapters, and I think it's a real turning point in Katsuki's character development.

Dabi's Dance

Very catchy. Also kind of iconic. The long-awaited Todoroki reveal that basically everyone saw coming...and yet it still took a lot of people by surprise! I feel like this title maybe took Horikoshi a little longer to decide on than others lol.

Threads of Hope

I love Best Jeanist, and I love his denim-related puns. Obviously the chapter in which he officially makes his comeback (not counting the end of the previous one) is related to fiber. Also, I think this whole "threads of hope" thing comes back later, which is pretty cool.

The Final Act Begins

Yet another incredibly ominous and foreboding title.

The Lovely Lady Nagant

Lady Nagant is, indeed, lovely. I know some people found her not particularly compelling, but I personally liked her.

Scars, Blood, Filth

This title sounds really cool lol, but it's also kind of gross. Every time I read the Dark Hero arc I wonder exactly how bad Izuku smells.

From Class A to One For All

I really like the "from x to x" chapter titles, and this one is no exception. They kind of evoke the image of someone making an earnest plea from the heart, which I think is fitting.

Wounded Hero, Burning Bright and True!!

The line "wounded heroes are always the scariest" is genuinely a pretty awesome line lmao, and so is this title.

Despite Everything...

DESPITE EVERYTHING...HE'S STILL...What a line omg. And it sums up Katsuki so well; even facing insurmountable odds, he never gives up.

Light Fades to Rain

This is probably my favourite chapter title in the entire manga. It's just so beautiful and poetic and fitting, and I wonder how long it took for Horikoshi to come up with it lol. I can't overstate how much I like it, and I'm so glad a chapter like this got such a nice title.

Full Moon

lol. lmao, even. I like how without context this chapter title is nothing super special, but with context it just becomes hilarious. Mirio deserves the world.

I AM HERE

What a chapter to end the volume on! I love the all caps—it makes it a lot more badass than if it was just "I Am Here". It almost sounds like he's shouting it as a challenge towards All for One.

A Girl's Ego

"Ego" is kind of an interesting word to use, since it's got pretty negative connotations, but I like it here. Is the girl in the title referring to Ochako or Toga? Who knows lol.

The End of an Era, and...the Beginning

I love how this seems like a callback to chapter 95's "End of the Beginning, Beginning of the End" title, but it puts a more positive spin on it. Chapter 95 was bittersweet, but this chapter is hopeful. It may be the end of an era, but it's also the beginning of a new, hopefully better one.

We Love You, All Might!!

I can't believe no one told All Might this in the actual chapter smh. He deserves all the love, and I'm so glad he survived.

History's Maddest Hero

LMAO. Ok, but Izuku really is kind of crazy. He defies society's expectations again and again, and I love him for it. I'm glad this chapter makes a point of saying exactly how weird his actions are, even though he's ultimately proven right.

We Are Here

Friendship™ truly is magic. It kind of seems like Horikoshi was determined to use "I am here" as many times as possible, in literally every configuration possible lol.

One For All vs. All For One

I really like that this title is a palindrome. It's very visually satisfying lmao, and it's kind of fitting that the chapter that concludes the final war gets this title. It really is the final confrontation between the two quirks, and the end of a decades-long war.

The Girl Who Loves Smiles

Ochako is the best. I love this aspect of her, and I'm glad it turned out to be the chapter title. It's kind of funny how the title is about smiles, while Ochako herself currently can't maintain her fake one.

[daphneroar]

Fukigen na Mononokean, chapter 2: The ant

helloooo welcome back to my commented reading of fukimono glad to see you here

my plan was to come back sooner because i'm going on vacation next week (going to the beach for the first time in five years yayyyy) so i wanted to read a bit more before leaving buuut life happens i guess

so here i am today, let's see what chapter 2 has to offer and i'll continue when i get back to the city (booo)

loving that smirk from ashiya! good job son!

chapter 2 begins as the same time ashiya's school life begins, because finally he is able to go to class! and he is so happy... back at high school i'd probably pretend to be sick a few more days just to skip school

and we see nara for the first time!! she's the best, period. i love her and i love her bouquets

pfff this queen seriously

this chapter has made me think a lot about my high school days, for example my homeroom teacher should feel thankful my mum didn't punch her on the face for making my life miserable so yeah my homeroom teacher won't be receiving any bouquets on my watch

well and his classmates were so disappointed that ashiya wasn't a girl pfff hanae-chan <3

but we don't care about high school boys being dissapointed, we care about ashiya finding out abeno is his classmate! and he sits just behind him! and at the same time I HAVE FOUND OUT something that has made me feel SO dumb... let me explain

now for a self-humiliation lecture... this exchange here tells us that abeno knew that ashiya was his classmate before this morning. ok we get that. the thing is i hadn't connected the dots till now... and now i have realized that their first encounter was intentional on abeno's part? which seems so obvious now but i hadn't realized until this point i swear. and when i commented the previous chapter i talked about fate and blablabla when it was just abeno putting up and ad at the infirmary because we knew that this ASHIYA guy in his class was spending his life there :_____ so yeah obviously it wasn't a coincidence that there was an ad at the infirmary and abeno was expecting that specific call

and i call myself a fan. i'm simply stupid, sorry. but it's okay, nunca te acostarás sin aprender algo nuevo (bilingual bonus)

anyways let's continue

i find hilarious how ashiya grumbles but still follows abeno's orders. their dynamic is already there and this chapter starts to settle it

abeno has stated that he can't open the door to the underwold more thant twice a day, so they should ignore any youkai they see unless they are hired to exorcise them, but ashiya ends in trouble anyway

this chapter (and next one) of course is about the little screes and they are super cute although they seem to be a threat for now. the individual stories about the youkai are so beautiful and so touching, they're another part of the manga that i love. i'm here for the main story but i would also be here if fukimono was just an episodic "the youkai of the week" type of manga. but we'll get to this in the next chapter

because the focus of chapter 2 is actually the (brand new) relationship between ashiya and abeno and, more importantly, their respective roles on youkai management (which equals to their roles in the manga). chapter 1 was good first contact, we could get a first grasp of their personalities and how they could work together. but chapter 2 establishes abeno as this isolated boy who has found a home in youkai and is not used to outsiders entering his world. meanwhile, ashiya doesn't know anything about youkai yet and he is scared of them. but at the same time, he is always keen to help. the moment he sees the little scree he thinks abeno should send him to the underworld because that where he belongs. he tries to hold back, but he ends lending a hand to the girl the little scree attaches to.

and last but not least, he decides to join abeno to find the youkai's nest. he's terrified but he can't let abeno go alone, especially when he caused the whole fuss tbh. and by doing that, he also builds a bridge between him and abeno. they're not so different after all

ashiya is one of my favorite characters in fiction. i love abeno too, in fact at first i prefered him over ashiya because i just like abeno's character type. but i remember that over time ashiya grew so much on me. he's so beautifully written and developed

the chapter ends with this massive youkai, the head of the little ones they want to find. we'll meet him in chapter 3

ok guys my fan just died as i was writting "chapter 3" in the previous sentence :_____ i can't deal with this temperature anymore i really need my beach days

so in summary, important chapter for our boys' bonding! next chapter will be great, we'll get emotional over youkai and that stuff we love about fukimono, right?

again thank you for reading, i'm not that active on tumblr yet (i'm getting used to it again) and there isn't a fukimono fandom per se, so reaching to someone is already a gift, see you in some days!

[hotwaterandmilk]

Paripi Koumei/Ya Boy Kongming! drama finale extremely brief almost-4am thoughts.

I'M NOT EVEN MAD ABOUT THEM DOING THIS TO ME. IT HURT SO GOOD. I LOVED IT OH MY GODDDDDD.

It's the middle of the night and I should be sleeping, but I have no self control so when I saw this was available I needed to watch it immediately. Summer Sonia plan has its bumps but everything works out. Eiko and Maria sing together, everything is AWESOME for everyone who isn't Keiji and the show has 10 mins to go and yayyyy!

But then Kongming is drawn back to that meeting with Liu Bei they've been blue balling us with all series and he realises:

Cue Kongming and Owner having a heartfelt conversation in a way only two middle-aged men who converse exclusively through Three Kingdoms lore can.

Obviously the exact details are kind of skewed, but Kobayashi has previously suggested Kongming's dreams are calling to him so he can accept that Kongming has to go and lets him. Eiko is performing and doesn't realise any of this is going on. Later that night at the BB Lounge she thanks Kongming and he gives her his final pep talk.

But can't bring himself to say he thinks he's going back to being dead or whatever, so he holds back tears and Eiko just goes about like :D before singing upon Kongming's request without realising he sees this as the final performance of hers he'll ever witness. FLASHBACK TO ALL THE GOOD TIMES. SHOW WHY YOU DO THIS. HE BEGINS WALKING TOWARDS LIU BEI...

Cut to everyone else coming in for the evening's celebrations as Eiko is performing, Kongming lets everyone step in front of him until he disappears behind the crowd...

Outside the club Kobayashi (who has been escorting KABEtaijin) suddenly looks up at a shooting star in the sky and silently mouths "Kongming."

KABE and Kobayashi head inside, everyone is celebrating and it's super cute.

Kobayashi looks around for Kongming but can't see him so heads behind the bar. Then Eiko, oblivious Eiko WHO HAS HAD NO IDEA WHATSOEVER THAT ANY OF THIS WAS HAPPENING, can't see Kongming anywhere either! She calls out for him, asks Owner but he says he hasn't seen him... Kongming is just... gone...

She looks everywhere for Kongming, calling his name....

😭😭😭

... and then she finds him in front of the mirror in the back room crying but IT'S OK BECAUSE HE'S.STILL.HERE.

He didn't die on the way back to his home planet like Poochie! He's stuck in Shibuya using Paypay like everyone else! MASSIVE MASSIVE FAKE OUT JUST TO TOY WITH EVERYONE'S FEELINGS IN THE FINAL 10 MINUTES OF THE SHOW OH MY GOD.

But I'm not mad because it got me good. I was like 😭 at every turn, then he just doesn't go and it's like y'know what? That's cool. I'M JUST GLAD HE'S HERE OK.

The problem with the idea of sending Kongming "back" is that, well, he died in the past. The first thing he does in the present is check his pulse and he's alive now, so given he's not a ghostly presence or anything there isn't any real "going back" to be had for Kongming imho. He's just some ojii-san in the city now and I couldn't ask for more. He did finally make peace with the presence of Liu Bei and his failures in the past, now he's purely living that Shibuya life and the drama is entirely open to a movie or sequel.

The ratings weren't great so I'm not sure that will happen, but I am just truly happy that we got these 10 episodes of television. The production values were high, the cast were excellent and the writing fleshed out the manga story beautifully. The whole concept is absolutely absurd and these last couple of episodes felt somwhat rushed, but the drama approaches everything so earnestly that it's hard not to get swept up in it all.

So now I have to go try and sleep without dwelling on all the sad Kongming faces I just had to endure.

😭😭😭

[kudouusagi]

hello! question abt ksb ive been pondering & was wondering what ur take on it might be. its pretty clear morinaga considers souichi and him to be dating and souichi his boyfriend, but i was thinking about how souichi sees their relationship. i know he considers morinaga as more than a friend obviously, but do you think he thinks of him and morinaga as "dating"??? tysm for all the translation work u do :-) we(the fandom) owe u

While I doubt Souichi would have willingly called it that himself at the time, they've definitely been dating since the end of volume 8 and he knows it lol.

(Remember, in the story only 3 years have passed since the start of the manga and 2 of those have happened since volume 8)

His problems before then were always about how he wasn't gay and couldn't accept he was in a relationship with a man. He had excuses for why he was going along with it: "It's only because you'll leave the school and ruin your life", "it's because you're blackmailing me", etc. And then he was just in denial with things like "I don't hate living with you and I don't know why", "I've never done it because I wanted to", etc.

But in volume 8, (besides all the Masaki stuff) he was faced with Morinaga getting a job offer and leaving and he didn't have a good excuse to stop him this time so he had to actually think about being in a relationship with him. So he thought about it and told him he wanted to stay with him and he wasn't going to run away anymore. That's really Souichi speak for "we're dating now" lol.

Then in volume 9 they had a whole discussion about Morinaga being jealous and upset that Souichi wasn't jealous and Souichi was just like well you were just screaming in the middle of the street that it wouldn't make a difference if you were popular so why should I be?? He knows.

Since then their problems have mostly been about not wanting other people to know, but he's never denied to Morinaga that they're in a relationship now. Morinaga dragged him into a gay wedding reception and all he did was get upset that Morinaga didn't tell him that it was a gay wedding.

I also think a lot of people were confused in vol 11 when he found out that Tadokoro knew since he denied they were dating but that was because he didn't want him to know, not because he doesn't think they're together. When he got angry at Morinaga about it he wasn't angry about the dating part of it, he was just angry that he was telling people.